Now I and Lam will make a comparition between band 5 and band 6 essays based on 4 criterias:

Task Response.

The essay adequately addresses all parts of the task. The writer acknowledges both the advantages and
disadvantages of this issue such as … . The writer's position is clear throughout the essay, stating that
despite some benefits, the drawbacks outweigh them. The main ideas are generally well-presented,the
writer also provide examples and reasoning to support each point, such as how starting a business
allows students to apply theoretical knowledge into practice, but also how it can lead to time constraints
and compromised academic performance.

Coherence and Cohesion.

The essay demonstrates logical organization of information and ideas, ensuring a clear progression
throughout the essay. Each paragraph focuses on a central idea or point related to either advantages or
disadvantages.. The introduction clearly states the topic and provides an overview of both sides of the
argument. The conclusion also summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Cohesion is generally well-managed with appropriate use of cohesive devices. For example transition
words (e.g., "On the one hand," "Nevertheless," are used effectively to guide the reader through the
contrasting ideas while phrases like "In addition" show additional supporting information. Additionally,
phrases like "To illustrate," and "To sum up," contribute to the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0

The writer demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary related to the topic that allows for some
flexibility and precision in conveying ideas. They use words and phrases that are appropriate for
discussing advantages and disadvantages, such as "benefits," "drawbacks," "severe consequences,"
"advantages," "disadvantages," etc.

There is evidence of an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items related to the topic, which
shows an awareness of style and collocation. For example, they use phrases like "get a business off the
ground" and "regulate their businesses."

.The writer incorporates academic phrases such as “remain a controversial”, "hands-on involvement"
and "compromised academic performance," which enhance the quality of their writing. They also use
topic-specific words like "business plan,".These demonstrate their understanding of the subject matter.

Overall, there are no significant issues with word choice, spelling, or word formation.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA):

Here are some detailed comments on the overall accuracy and diversity of grammar used in the essay:

The writer demonstrates a good use of complex structures including simple, complex, and compound
sentences such as passive voice conditionals ("whether college students should start up a business") ,
relative clauses ("the reasons why the drawbacks overshadow the benefits"), and concession structures
( on the contrary) and adverbial clauses. These structures are generally used accurately to convey ideas
and arguments. Around 60-70% of the sentences in the essay are error-free, which indicates a
reasonable level of grammatical accuracy.