SOWK 1009

Reflective Practitioner

Session 2: Relationship with Self: Compassion and Care

30 Jan 2023
 Do we know our self?
Understanding “ME” Understanding our:

Brain and mind

• As a person

• In the use of self

Body Emotions
 Do we know our self?
Self is complicated: physical self, emotional self, cognition and mind,
spiritual self, social presentation of self.

èLet’s see how sensitive you are about your Self.

 Understanding our body and emotions
How would your body react when you get into the following emotional state?

● When you are angry…

● When you are happy…
● When you are anxious…
● When you are scared...
● When you are excited…
 Understanding our body and emotions

Source: https://www.macmillanhighered.com/BrainHoney/Resource/22292/digital_first_content/trunk/test/pel4e/pel4e_ch9_6.html
 ● What have you found about your
sensitivity to your physiological
state?
● How sensitive are you with your

Reflections
emotions?
● How are your emotions expressed
physiologically, behaviorally, socially?

● Do you know your Self well?

What can we do to enhance our well-being?

 Understanding our brains and mind

Old brain (‘old’ part of our brain)

• Functions to help us navigating dangers in the world in a safe way like other
animals with similar brain structures

• Motivates us to pursue resources that may be beneficial for survival and

reproduction.

• Basic motives, basic emotions, defensive behaviours (fight, flight, freeze or fawn)
 Understanding our brains and mind

New brain (“new” part of our brain)

• Evolved two million years ago
• Intelligent thinking abilities: imagining, fantasizing, planning / casting over
the future, reflecting on the past, thinking, reasoning, ruminating
 The old and new brains interact
(Gilbert, 2013)

MY BRAIN
New Brain: Imagination,
planning, rumination, reasoning,
self-awareness

Old Brain: Motives,

emotions, behaviourss
NATURE’S BRAIN
We have “tricky brains”
 Tricky brain develops loops in our mind
Example: Amy with a critical mother with high expectations

New Brain: New Brain: New Brain:

Worry about failing my I am not a good How come I am so

parents’ expectations. daughter. I do not useless? What’s wrong
deserve their love. with me?

Old Brain: Old Brain: Old Brain:

• Heart racing, tense • Sadness • Anxiety and anger
muscles – anxiety (directed to self)
• Shame
Impacts of the external environment
and our social experiences

Yet, there comes the possibilities of

Our environment and our social
changing oneself. One way of
experiences constructed us as who
making this happening is
we are, the person we become.
developing a compassionate mind.
 Understanding our emotions:
Three types of emotion regulation system
Drive, excitement, vitality Content, safe, connected
Non-wanting/affiliative-
Incentive/resource-focused focused

Wanting, pursuing, Safeness-kindness

achieving, consuming Rest & digest

Activating Soothing

Threat-focused
Emotions interact!
Protection and safety-
seeking

Activating/inhibiting

Source: Gilbert, 2013, p.24 Anger, anxiety, disgust

 Threat and protection system
● All living beings have evolved with the threat and protection systems

● Checks out and alerts us about the threat and danger in the world around us and motivates
us towards reaction for protection and safety à survival and reproduction

● Fight / Flight / Freeze (when the threat system is inhibited) / Submit

● Operates a “Better safe than sorry” principle

● Emotions: Anger, anxiety, disgust à Are they bad or normal?

● Behavioural responses: Aggression, avoidance, submission etc.

● Cognitive biases: Jumping to conclusion

“This is not safe.”
 Drive, resources-seeking and
excitement system

• Motivates us to pay attention and to engage in the pursuit of resources and

goals that may be beneficial to self or others

• Functions as a source of anticipation and pleasure

• Leads to positive emotions

“I want to make it.”

 Contentment, soothing and
safeness system
• Rest and digest system

• Plays a significant role in regulating and calming our threat and

drive systems

• Slows down and grounds ourselves

• Highly responsive to kindness, care, affection and support from

others

• Contentment, calmness, inner peacefulness and sense of

wellbeing
“I feel warm and content.”
 Emotion Conditioning
learning and
●

Automatic body reactions

body memories
●
 Individual experiences and differences

The three systems are:

• Learning systems that respond to our life experiences.

• Inclining to genetic variation of sensitivity.

• Thus, how the three systems function and interact in our lives are slightly different
among individuals.
 Our emotion systems can get out of
balance…

●Easily triggered anxiety, fear and anger

●Too high (overly excited) or too low (depressed)
●Desire to achieve all the time, to seek for more and more
●Self-critical and self-blame
Yet, a particular pattern does not define us.
It’s just a part of us!!!
 Activity 1: Self-reflection
How are the three systems often balanced
for you in your everyday life?
Pick an area of life (e.g., family, relationship, work)
Hold in mind a set of time (e.g., week / month)
Draw the systems where the size represents how much of
that system has been going on for you
 Having the three systems balancing
each other

Balancing the emotion

systems…
Giving focus to the soothing and
contentment system

Being able to exercise control in

making choice of our feelings

Being able to develop and contain a

rich mix of feelings
 Self-compassion
Neff (2003, 2011)

Three components of self-compassion:

● Mindfulness: Being mindful and open to one’s suffering

● Kindness: Being kind and non-self-condemning

● Common humanity: An awareness of sharing experiences of suffering

with others, an openness to our common humanity

Self-compassion enables us to cope with difficult

Source: http://www.self-compassion.org
situation, stress and set-backs.
Knowing more about our
stress & coping
 Stress and coping
(Lazarus and Folkman,1984)

○ Stress: “ a particular relationship between the person and the

environment that is appraised by the person as taxing or exceeding his or
her resources and endangering his or her well-being” (p. 19)

○ Coping: the use of different cognitive and behavioural methods to

manage such taxing internal and/ or external demands
 Source of stress
● Could be big life changes/ trauma
○ E.g., Significant others passing away, change of school, moving, migration,
serious illness…

● Chronic demands in daily life

○ E.g., constantly overloaded with work, worry over family budget, long term
care of sick family members at home

● Sudden/ individual encounters

○ E.g., breaking up, meeting deadlines, fail a course, exam, …
 Coping strategies
Taxonomy of coping:
● Problem-focused
○ Deal with the problem directly
● Emotion-focused
○ Palliative, feel better
● Meaning-making /positive reappraisal

(Monat, and Lazarus, 1991) (Folkman, & Moskowitz, 2000)

 Are you feeling
stressful lately?
Perceived Stress Scale
(Mounted on the Moodle)
Any new discovery of yourself from the scale?
 Are you taking care of your Self ?
Too busy to feel ?
Too painful to think ?
Too overwhelmed to function?

Conscious denial ?
Unconscious suppression?

OR,
Giving good care, feeling just great!
Enhancing our body-mind sensitivity & integration

● Exercises that help expanding

awareness of the body condition &
mind perspectives.
○ E.g., meditation, body
scanning
 Developing self-compassion

● An intention and desire to be kind to yourself.

● Understand sufferings as common humanity

● Stimulate the soothing and contentment system to

rebalance the emotion systems in our brain.

Being Well vs. Doing Well Source of illustration: https://www.psychotherapy.net/

Practicing self-care for wellbeing

● Reaching our inside

○ Feel our body sensations:
v Relaxed or uncomfortable?
v Sensations subtle or profound?
○ Listen to bodily signals:
v Get their message.
v Acknowledge their existence.
v Attend to them.
v Seek support if necessary.
 Let’s put it into action!
Now: Mindful body scan and compassionate colour

Back Home: Self care plan for enhancement of

personal well-being
 Activity 2:
Mindful body scan
Compassionate colour

33
 Break &
Small Group Sharing
 References
● Baker, E. K. (2003). Caring for ourselves: A therapist's guide to personal and professional well-
being. American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/10482-000
● Gilbert, P. (2013). The compassionate mind. London: Robinson.
● Lazarus RS, Folkman S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. New York: Springer.
● Neff, K.D., & Germer, C. (2017). Self-compassion and psychological wellbeing. In J. Doty (Ed.)
Oxford Handbook of Compassion Science, Ch. 27. Oxford University Press.
● http://www.self-compassion.org
 Q&A
THANK YOU!
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