QUEST NS

What do you hope What skill would you

never changes? like to master?

What do you wish you What are you most likely

knew more about? to become famous for?

What’s something Where would you spend all

you like to do the your time if you could?
old-fashioned way?

What’s the luckiest thing that

What habit bothers
has happened to you?
you?

If you didn’t have to When people come to you

sleep, what would you for help what do they usual-
do with the extra time? ly want help with?

What do you take for If you could change one

granted? thing about your day,
what would that be?

What’s something scary

What’s the strangest thing
that you would try at
you have come across?
least once?

If you could grow any- What is your favorite

thing in the yard what restaurant?
would it be?
 Name a song you What’s your favorite
really like. sport?

What’s your favorite What’s your favorite

cereal? f ruit?

What is/was your What is your favorite

favorite subject in drink?
school?

What is your favorite DIsney What is your favorite holi-

sidekick creature or animal? day?

If you could go on a trip What is your favorite

to once place in the world movie?
where would it be?

What is your favorite kind What is your favorite

of flower? animal?

What is your favorite food? What is your favorite

treat/dessert?

What is your favorite What are you most

board game/card proud of?
game?

What brings you the What are you most

most joy? af raid of?

What is your favorite If you could switch places

thing to do when you with anyone in the world
have some f ree time? who would it be?
 FIXE D: GROWTH:

This is too hard. What am I missing?

I can’t do it.
I don’t understand.
I give up.
I made a mistake
I’ll never be as smart as them.
I am not good at this.
This is good enough.
I’ll try a different strategy.
This may take some time.
I am going to exercise my brain.
Mistakes help me learn.
I am going to figure this out.
I will learn how to do this.
Is this my best work?

I N STE AD OF T HIS . .. SAY THI S:

This is too hard. This may take some time and effort.

It’s good enough. Is it really my best work?

It didn’t work! Good thing there are lots of ways to

solve a problem!

I am not good at this. What am I missing?

I can’t do any better. I can always improve so I’ll keep trying.

I made a mistake. Mistakes help me learn.

This is easy. I’m on the right track.

I’ll never be as smart as him. I’m going to figure out how he/she
does it so I can try.

I give up. I’ll try a different way.

 FOR YOUR KI D S

I N ST E AD OF T HIS . .. SAY TH I S:

You’re so smart. You’re a hard worker.

That was really hard. I’m glad you All of your hard work paid off. Next
don’t have to do that again. time you’ll be ready for this kind of
challenge.

You’re a natural! It was really clever the way you made

that happen.

You’re too little for that. I’ll help you practice.

No you can’t. What do you think?

What? You got a C! I know how much you studied for that
test. It was hard but you didn’t give
up.

These are the clothes I have set out for I love to see the outfits you create.
you.

That’s something you struggle with. Brains get stronger every day!

You made a mistake. Learning takes time and the path

won’t be straight. Mistakes are a part
of growing.
5 L VE LANGUAGES

QUIZ: Circle the statement that most accurately describes you (or your
kid) in each set.

1. I like to get kind notes and texts.

I like to be hugged.

2. I like to spend one-on-one time with people who are special to me.
I feel appreciated when someone gives me practical help.

3. I like it when kind words are spoken to me.

I like being with and doing activities with friends and family.

4. What someone does affects me more than what he or she says.

Hugs make me feel connected and valued.

5. I value praise and avoid criticism.

Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift.

6. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together.

I feel closer to friends or family when they touch me often.

7. I like when people compliment the things I do well.

I know people love me when they do things for me that they don’t like doing.

8. Kind words mean a lot to me.

I know someone loves me when he or she helps me.

9. I like to spend time with friends and family.

I like to receive little gifts from friends and family.

10. Gifts are symbols of love that are important to me.

I feel loved when people say nice things to me.

11. I feel loved when someone I’m close to puts an arm around me.
I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I’m close to.

f r o m h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /p r o fi l e / ? c h i l d # d i s c o v e r y - c h i l d
12. I like it when people give me gifts.
I really enjoy hanging out with people close to me.

13. I like when my friends and family greet me with a hug.

I like it when people listen to me and show genuine interest in what I’m saying.

14. I feel loved when friends and family help me with jobs or projects.
I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and family.

15. I enjoy when people compliment my appearance.

I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings.

16. I feel safe when someone close to me is touching me.

Acts of service make me feel loved.

17. I appreciate the many little things that people do for me.
I value gifts that people make for me.

18. I really like the experience of one-on-one, undivided attention.

I really enjoy it when someone does some act of service for me.

19. I feel loved when people touch me.

I feel loved when people do things to help me.

20. I like to receive a gift for my birthday.

I like when someone speaks meaningful words to me on my birthday.

21. I know someone is thinking of me when he or she gives me a gift.

I feel loved when someone helps me with my chores.

22. I like to go places with people I’m close to.

When I like someone, I make contact with the person (hug, shove, high five, etc.)

23. I like it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me.
I like it when someone remembers special days with a gift.

24. I like knowing that people are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks.
I enjoy full-day adventures or trips with someone close to me.

f r o m h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /p r o fi l e / ? c h i l d # d i s c o v e r y - c h i l d
25. Getting a kiss from a parent makes me feel loved.
Getting a gift for no special reason from a parent makes me feel loved.

26. I like to be told that I’m appreciated.

I like for people to look at me when we’re talking.

27. I like to sit close to people I enjoy being with.

I appreciate when someone tells me how attractive I am.

28. Gifts from people I’m close to are always special to me.
I feel good when someone I’m close to touches me.

29. I feel loved when someone enthusiastically does some task I’ve requested.
I feel loved when I’m told how much I’m appreciated.

30. I need to be touched every day.

I need words of affirmation every day.

PHYSICAL WORDS OF ACTS OF

QUALITY TIME GIFTS
TOUCH AFFIRMATION SERVICE

Total #: __ Total #: __ Total #: __ Total #: __ Total #: __

Primary Love Language:

Secondary Love Language:

t a k e t h e q u i z o n l i n e a t h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /p r o -
fi l e / ? c h i l d # d i s c o v e r y - c h i l d
learn more about the 5 love languages in the renowned books by
Gary Chapman: The 5 Love Languages and the 5 Love Languages of
C h i l d r e n o r o n t h e w e b s i t e a t h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /

PHYSICAL TOUCH
clues that this might
be your kid:
is known as “the
snuggler ”,
loves being carried
a n d /o r p h y s i c a l
rough-housing,
unintentionally too
rough with others
enjoys:
sitting close, back
scratches, massages,
physical activity
such as wrestling or
racing, cuddling
blankets or lovies,
tickling
tips for
connection:
ask your kid what
type of touch they
love most, come up
with a secret hand-
shake, make a ritual
out of hair brushing
or applying lotion,
invite them to
cuddle with you,
tousle their hair or
squeeze their shoul-
der when you walk
by
5 L VE LANGUAGES
WORDS OF
A F F I R M AT I O N
clues that this might
be your kid:
is fueled by praise,
wants to show you
t h e t h i n g s h e /s h e
has done, loves to
talk and tells you
every detail of the
day
enjoys:
talking, hearing you
g i v e s p e c i fi c
detailed and rele-
vant praise, learning
things together,
giving and receiving
notes, journaling
tips for
connection:
u s e s p e c i fi c a n d
genuine praise and
show that you notice
the details,
listen carefully when
they talk, leave
encouraging notes,
praise them in f ront
of others when they
can hear you, take
videos of them to
share with f riends
and family
QUALITY TIME
clues that this might
be your kid:
asks to tag along or
stay up late with
you, wants you to
w a t c h w h i l e h e /s h e
performs, likes you
to sit with them
while they play
enjoys:
undivided attention,
being watched,
special time, tradi-
tions, special winks,
rituals or places to
talk that are unique
to them
tips for
connection:
have a staring con-
test, cook together,
go on a “ walk and
talk”, play a favorite
game, do a puzzle
together, involve
them in your every
day tasks, give a gift
of experience, make
space for special
time in your regular
routine
GIFTS
clues that this might
be your kid:
loves presents and
surprises, has a lot
of “special” things,
older kids may be
particular about
brands or certain
fl a v o r s o r s m e l l s
enjoys:
birthday presents,
surprise gifts, earn-
ing a prize, having a
favorite meal made
for them,
collecting things,
surprising others
tips for
connection:
fi n d s p e c i a l t r e a -
sures together in
nature, remember
their favorite things,
buy their favorite
snacks in your
normal grocery run,
download a song
you know they love,
invite them to help
you surprise some-
one else
ACTS OF
SERVICE
clues that this might
be your kid:
loves having your
help, surprises you
by doing small
household tasks for
you, loves being
given responsibility
enjoys:
knowing that you’re
available to help
when they need it;
being thought of as
a contributer;
having special and
unique skills
tips for
connection:
support them in
their generous
thoughts, clean up
their room while
they’re gone, help
them with school
work or practicing a
new skill; when they
make mistakes like
forgetting lunch, tell
them you are happy
help rather than
complain or lecture
 AFTER SCHOOL CARDS
HUG + KISS PA P E R S O U T O F REFILL
B A C K PA C K W AT E R B OT T L E

WASH HANDS EMPTY GET A SNACK

LUNCHBOX
 S I M PL E WAYS TO F I N D J OY

giggles soft baby skin

dappled sunlight kid drawings
birds singing b u d d i n g fl o w e r s
shadows silly dance moves
funny movies playing make believe
fi n g e r p r i n t s the weight of a child’s
peaceful music body against yours
curious minds morning bed head
love notes family walks
trying something new slow mornings with no
a kind offering where to be
deep breaths rest
sunset k i d ’ s c h o i c e o u t fi t s
f resh cut grass movement
a silly song a moment to close your
f reshly brushed hair eyes
a wild imagination a long stretch
c o n fi d e n c e millions of different colors
playing in the dirt snuggly blankets
f resh clothes simple games
bubbles a good story
cozy pjs
f resh sheets
a soft pillow at the end of
a long day
a warm shower
a favorite candle
sun on your skin
crisp morning air
family dinner
the smell of a real book
the feel of bare feet in
grass
3 0 WAYS TO
1. ask them a question about what
they’re doing
2. whisper something to them like
it’s a secret
3. make an inanimate object talk
4. playful physical touch - pick
them up, tickle them, squeeze
them tight every time they try to
talk
5. make up a secret code word
6. talk with a funny accent
7. tell a story
8. do something the wrong way on
purpose (i.e. try to brush their teeth
with the wrong end of the tooth-
brush)
9. invite them to do something
with you rather than telling them
to go do it themselves
10. move at a different pace than
usual - super fast speed, slow
motion, marching, etc
11. 30 second pretend play (i.e.
remember those flamingos at the
aviary? Let’s see if we can pretend
we’re flamingos and see how long
we can stand on one foot)
12. pretend anything is a treasure
hunt
IN UNDER A MINUTE
13. mimick their facial expressions
14. ask them to tell you a joke
15. sign “I love you” when you leave
each other
16. write a note and put it on their
pillow
17. say what you see - “You love
your blanket.”
18. surprise them and do their
chore
19. give a lingering hug
20. create a special handshake
21. challenge them to a leg wrestle
22. tuck them in bed
23. send them a gratitude text (if
they have a phone)
24. tell someone else how amazing
you think your child is (while
he/she is in ear shot)
25. write in a shared journal
26. have a staring contest
27. ask them to tell you about their
artwork
28. call them by their nickname
29. set a funny scene in the toy
room with their toys
30. put sprinkles on their food