C O N T E N T S

09 INTRODUCTION

13 WHY YOU SHOULD FIND

YOURSELF BEFORE MARRIAGE

17 THE JOURNEY

22 WRONG PLACES WE SEARCH

FOR OURSELVES

25 FINDING YOU

27 8 THINGS TO DO TO UNCOVER
YOUR TRUE SELF
 C O P Y R I G H T
This ebook is a sole property of Khawlah
Akeeb, the founder of NOBLE LADY'S
HERITAGE. DO NOT SHARE ANY PART OF IT
without the express permission of the author.
Doing so would make you liable for copyright
infringement and be made to face the full
consequences of the law. Beware!

khawlahakeeb@gmail.com

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 D E D I C A T I O N

This book is dedicated to all my single

Muslimahs who are seeking to find their
authentic selves before marriage, so they
can attract the man who aligns with their
authentic selves and marry with calm
confidence.

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PREFACE

"I don't even recognize myself anymore. How did

I get here? What am I doing here? My heart is
shattered. I feel lost, empty and lonely. I don't
like who I have become. I am a complete
shadow of myself. This marriage has 'killed' me.
Yaa Allah, who am I? And what's Your Plan for
me?" Fatimah cried.

"I thought I loved myself. I thought I was so

confident and knew myself. But everyday in this
marriage, I am not the ME that I used to love. I
am a failed wife and failed mother. Why do I
keep failing in this marriage? I try so hard to
please him and win his heart, but I keep failing.
He says it's me who need to work on myself. He
acts like I'm a bad wife. I am completely messed
up because I don't even understand myself
anymore. Yaa Allah, I want to be a good wife. I
want my husband to be pleased with me. What
else can I do? Amina cried.

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"I regret getting married. I wish I had not married
when I did. I wish I could be single again. I don't
like my husband. I don't like his true personality.
Let alone love. But here I am, stuck. I feel like a
trapped wife. How did I get here? How did I
attract a man like him? Lord, help me!".
Maymunah cried.

These are 3 scenerios of 3 different women

suffering the same problem: LOST SELF. They are
the consequences of not finding yourself before
marriage.

- Not recognizing or knowing yourself before

marriage.
- People-pleasing to your husband at the
expense of self.
- Basing self worth on husband's opinions
- Regretting marriage
- Resenting husband but hating self more
- Not being the best of yourself.
- Feeling like a failure because you do not see
'love' in your husband towards you

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This book is for Muslim women who are getting
married, but yet to do the inner work of finding
their authentic selves first. Hardly do they realize
the peril of such a blind mission. Many only get
to be awakened, after they are long into the
marriage, and the mistakes start to unfold
before their misty eyes. By then, they have lost
themselves and become a complete shadow of
themselves, as a result of marriage. They blame
marriage to be the problem, not realizing that it
is their poor mindset and lack of inner
preparedness and self-groundedness.

This book attempts to bring awareness to

unmarried women about their own selves, before
embarking on the journey with another person.

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It attempts to help single Muslimahs to
connect with themselves intimately first,
before embarking on the journey to love
another person. Failure to do this is what
leads to the above scenerios.

When a woman is not evolved, fully

understanding, aware and loving herself
before marriage, she attracts a man who is
only interested and comfortable with her
false self. And when she eventually evolves
into her authentic self after marriage, it many
times end that marriage because she
becomes uncomfortable with her choice of
husband.

Her difficulties and pains as a result of

choosing wrongly are what eventually leads
her to discovering that she was in that
marriage with a false self or identity.

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Most of the time, the marriage crashes
abruptly, after years of misery. Because she
chose a man who only wanted her old false
identity.

Yes, praying and counsel is important before

marriage. But finding your original authentic
self and living the life you love is essential for
a lasting and thriving marriage.

Divorce is rampant in our time. Especially in

the Muslim community. High rate of short-
lived marriages. Even many so-called long
marriages still crash. This book helps prevent
against divorces and miserable marriages by
tackling it from the roots: finding yourself
before getting married.

Are you about to get married, but still

conflicted about who you are or your unique
purpose in this world? Then this book is for
you in shaa Allah. Enjoy!

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INTRODUCTION

Are you getting married? Congratulations, sister!

Or have you been considering marriage
recently? Perhaps because you have found a
man, or because you are yearning for marriage.

Marriage is quite sweet and delicious. Especially

with the right man. And most especially, in your
own most authentic self.

I write this book to you to equip you with the

right mindset before marriage. My own life
experiences has taught me the importance of
finding yourself
and being 100% in full sync with yourself before
marrying.

I married out of a naive and innocent mind. And

as prepared as I thought I was, I realize that I
really was not prepared for what was coming. I
wanted to be the good wife. The righteous wife.

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The perfect wife. The wife who makes her
husband swoon and fall in love everyday. I
got married with the belief that, the more
love and understanding I showed my
husband, the more he'd love me.

Sadly, I was wrong. I couldn't be more wrong.

I had forgotten that I was all I needed to be.
My fullest undiluted unfiltered self was all I
needed to be. I shouldn't be scared of being
playful, naughty, angry, sad, wanting. Truth is,
I grew up to be a good girl. I never learnt
how to say NO. I only knew how to please.
Being the yes-girl, so that I could be loved
more and earn more praises and admiration.

As a result of this, I believed that serving my

husband, being patient with him, and being a
good wife was all enough. Even when I was
hurting sometimes. I didn't know how to ask. I
didn't know how to really ask and demand for
what I wanted.

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It was all about whatever he wanted. If I
asked and he said no, especially persistently,
I would keep quiet and not ask again. I'd
learnt subconsciously from childhood that
asking persistently meant being a burden.

I got married, but I could never be the fullest

version of myself. I dedicated myself to
marriage and motherhood. Eventually, I broke
down. Because my true self was lost. And I
felt like a servant, a walking zombie in my
own house. It was after my soul could no
longer bear these self-denials that it
exploded violently and became something I
have never ever been.

I realized even though very late, that,

MYSELF, was the secret ingredient to my own
happy and fulfilling marriage. My truest self
that is deep inside is who I need to be, to
enjoy the fullest of marital joys.

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If in the process of being my fullest unfiltered
undiluted self, my husband doesn't feel
comfortable, like he feels threatened,
unsatisfied with that truest most authentic
version of me, then it's a fact and certainty
that he isn't the right man for me.

I have made my mistakes. And it has caused

me so much to eventually realize them and
learn. This is why I am coming here to teach
you and warn you sternly that love or
marriage isn't what you should find first. YOU
are what you should find and know first.
When you have found and known yourself,
knowing another man in marriage and
bonding with him would be easier for you In
Shaa Allah.

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WHY YOU SHOULD FIND
YOURSELF BEFORE MARRIAGE

Your self-search pre-marriage gives you the

fullest chance to know everything or at least
most things about who you are and why you do
what you do, and which in turn, drives you to
choose a partner who is completely in sync with
your soul, and who do not find your authenticity
strange or unattractive.

Although, there are some growths and maturity

that only comes with age, nevertheless, growth
at whatever level you are matters a lot. Don’t let
age be the driving force to push you to
discovering your own authenticity. If you leave it
all to age, you are going to be waiting a very
long time, after you have made countless
mistakes and been treated with disrespect by a
lot of people. Don’t wait till then, before you
discover who you are. START NOW and evolve
from there with age.

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Finding your own authenticity before
marriage also helps your confidence to grow
exponentially, and shame/guilts would be out
of your system. No more feeling ashamed
because you choose or decide something for
yourself. No more shame for who you are
because you now understand yourself and
now know the reasons why you are the way
you are, and why you do the things you do.

Finding yourself pre-marriage also helps you

to attract a husband who values and
respects you, and everything you stand for.
He'll respect the woman you are, and the
hard work you are committing into your life.
You become a respectable diamond to him.
This is because when a woman is fully self-
aware and evolved into her realest, most
authentic self, she operates with a high level
of emotional and intellectual maturity that
enables her to connect with her husband in a
truly feminine and empowering way.

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Your self-search pre-marriage basically helps
you to:

- Know exactly what you are looking for in a

relationship (marriage)
- Identify your own deal-breakers in a
relationship, so you don't have to compromise
what you should be standing for.
- Know if you are really ready for marriage.
- Elevate your level of self worth.
- Know what your weaknesses are, so that
you can work hard to improve yourself before
getting married.
- Recognize whether you are introverted or
extroverted.
- Discover your own unique spending plan.
- Work on your financial plan after marriage.
- Listen to your own intuition and trust your
guts.
- Internalize what your core values are, so
you do not compromise them.

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Marriage thrives when a woman is evolved
and living in her higher self.

You'd also be completely immune to toxicity

and abuse of other people. You'd easily
recognize toxicity when you see them, and
easily put up a barrier against such people.

Your people pleaser syndrome would be

nowhere to be found, when you do a deep
inner work on yourself. Because now, you are
choosing and honouring yourself first, and so,
you go for your own inner peace first before
serving anyone.

Deep knowledge and awareness about

yourself generally makes you a confident and
happy woman. Your happiness no longer
depends on other people, but on your own
inner peace. And once this is in place, you'd
become a happy woman from within.

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THE JOURNEY

Too many people get married without doing

the task of finding themselves first. It's like
getting on the road to a destination without
making any provisions for the journey. Or like
wandering through an island, and not
knowing how to survive on it, nor having the
provisions to survive. I made that mistake too.

Finding yourself before marriage is so

essential because YOU are exactly what you
bring to the table of marriage. YOU are the
juice, the flavour, the spice that you bring
into this delicacy of marriage. And without
this original flavor of YOU, the delicacy of
marriage would be incomplete, or even
tasteless.

Why do people even get married without

knowing who they are or how they are wired
in the first place?

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The implication of this is that, you are
entering into a lifelong relationship with
someone, with the hope of them making you
happy and fulfilling your dreams, while you
are yet to even truly know and understand
your own self.
How can another human being know your
own intricacies, if you are yet to know YOU,
yourself? In the end, you get married to them,
and raise children, without being fully aware
of your own self and being able to answer
questions like:

- Who am I?
- Why am I the way I am?
- Why do I do the things I do?
- Why do I like the things I like, and dislike the
things I dislike?
- Why do I want this?
- Whose life am I living?
- Where am I going?
And lots more...

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You keep on charting, wandering through life
in a frenzy zombie mode, just going in
whatever direction you are pushed to go.
Deep inside you, you are empty and lost,
unable to choose and make decisions for
yourself, because you have become too
dependent on other people to make your own
decisions for you. Where this leads you to, is
a dark, hollow and lonely place, deprived of
joy, life and peace.

I ask you, my beloved, why are you getting

married without doing the inner work of
discovering your own self first?

Why are you committing yourself to a

relationship, seeking the love of another,
while you are yet to fully love your own self?
Why are you embarking on the journey to
becoming a mother when you are yet to
connect with your own inner child?

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Without taking your time to do these inner
works, you will be exposing yourself to so
many harms on this intended journey such as:
- Becoming a core people-pleaser.
- Subjecting yourself to the abuses, whims
and caprices of other people.
- No one prioritizes you.
- Life of service to everyone, except your own
self.
- Raising children whom you unleash your
unhealed wounds to.
- Not being your fullest self in marriage
because of which, you do not fully
experience the true marital bliss.
- Doing anything to earn the pleasure of your
husband, even if it goes against your own self
or values.
And so on...

Are you really sure that you want to put

yourself through all these? It's quite a horrible
life, you know?

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Why don't you learn from the mistakes of so
many other people in the world, whose
stories are being told over and over again,
but you are too blinded to see that they are
warnings and precautions, rather than reason
for hating marriage in itself.

Marriage itself is a beautiful and wonderful

institution that brings real deep tranquility.
But only if you take the time to do those
essential and powerful works on your own
self first, in order to attract the partner who
truly aligns with your soul's values and
purpose.

Marriage is sweet, when you are married to

your best friend, to the right person whose
company feels like home to you.

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WRONG PLACES WE SEARCH
FOR OURSELVES

You might probably be asking yourself that.

"How do I find myself?"
"What do I need to do to truly find myself?"

I also asked myself several times that question.

For over 30 years, I searched for myself in other
people's eyes. I thought that whatever I saw in
them towards me, was a reflection of who I truly
was. I searched and searched, by being good,
kind, pleasing, self-sacrificing, loving, being
there when they need help, etc. I would feel
happy when I got positive attention, love,
admiration or praises. But I would become
extremely sad when I was criticized or given a
negative reaction.

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I searched for myself literally in others.
Whatever they said about me stuck with me
like gum. Their perceptions of me would
become the words I speak to myself. Most
times, I'd feel so ugly and never good
enough. Never belonging anywhere, because
everywhere, I never really allowed myself to
belong.

I searched for myself in the mirror. Never

considering myself beautiful. And wondering
why I look the way I do. Too many times, I'd
feel ashamed of my looks in pictures or
camera. Or in video calls. "I'm so not pretty",
I'd say to myself. But then it got so bad and
reached a point where I became an endless
victim of abuse and toxicity. And the fact
that I wasn't enjoying my life and living the
fullest life I really wanted for myself.

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My condition deteriorated until I lost it
completely and mentally. That was when I
realized that I had been completely
unaligned with my realest self for a very long
time. Hence, change became utterly
important to me.

Too many times in the search for self, we end

up searching in the wrong places. In the
quest for this search, we enslave ourselves to
others, seeking their love and validations,
pushing ourselves downwards in the process.
Or we end up wearing a fake persona that's
not truly ours, in order not to be perceived as
weak or vulnerable. So we pretend to be
strong, independent and confident.

Rather than faking a strong persona, or

allowing yourself to be controlled by others,
why don't you commit to knowing who you
really are, and fearlessly be your true self, as
you live your best life for Allah alone.

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FINDING YOU

Do we really find ourselves? Were we truly lost?

Why do we have to find, and not just BE?

We find ourselves because so many voices have

sought to bury our true selves down inside our
psyche. Who we are is truly alive and whole.
But over the years, we have rejected ourselves,
discredited ourselves, dishonoured ourselves and
considered ourselves unworthy or undeserving.
So instead, we embraced personalities and
lifestyles that aren't who we truly are.

How then do we find US?

By uncovering all the layers and debris that have

pushed down our true identities. By digging
deep to remove all the layers that have covered
our original authentic self, and bring to light this
person hiding inside, and help her come out and
shine brightly again.

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No doubt, she's the inner child who is full of
faults, angry, bitter, ashamed, and lonely for
not being seen or acknowledged all these
years.
But you must embrace her, and help her see
that she is absolutely worthy of being loved.

Are you ready to uncover your truest identity?

It's a long deep journey that cannot be
covered in this short ebook. However, I can
take you through 8 amazing steps to help you
uncover your truest self.

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8 THINGS TO DO TO UNCOVER
YOUR TRUE SELF

1. MAKE SENSE OF YOUR PAST:

It's time to revisit your past. Who were you

before you got wounded? Who did you use to
be? How happy and joyful did you use to be?
What several incidents led you to bury your true
self? What traumatic experiences killed you
inside and shut you down?
When you reconnect with your own past, revisit it
and relive it, you'll find the treasure you've been
looking for (YOU).

2: DIFFERENTIATE YOURSELF

The process of differentiation in finding yourself

involves distinguishing yourself as separate from
others, seeing yourself in all your uniqueness
whilst separating yourself from all toxic or
harmful influences in your relation with the
external world.

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There are 4 processes of psychological
differentiation, and here they are:

i. Breaking yourself from harmful internalized

thought processes aka the inner critic - that
produces all the critical, hostile attitudes
towards self and others. Here, you need to
distinguish your SELF from this inner critic
who has grown with you over the years, and
has formed the basis if all the shame, guilts
and fears that you embody. Separating
yourself from this inner critic, accepting
yourself as different from the critic, thereby
coming to treat yourself with as much
compassion as possible, necessary for your
own growth and wellbeing.

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ii. Separating from negative personality traits
assimilated from one's parents. This involves
first recognizing the negative personality
traits within yourself, which are an
incorporation of the negative traits of your
parents, caregivers or other influential
figures.

After recognizing and identifying these

negative traits, comes change. It's essential
to change them. These traits could be
addictions, vanity, phoniness, self-
centeredness, victimized orientation,
contempt, etc. Altering it, changing these
unpleasant or toxic personality traits is a
powerful way of saying goodbye to our past.

It is important to be proactive about

changing these negative personality traits
without being self-hating or falling back into
your critical inner voices. Understand that
you came by these faults honestly, and that
you have the full power to change them.

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iii. Give up patterns of defence formed as an
adaptation to pain in childhood. To
differentiate from the more childish aspects
of our personality, we need to identify and
give up those patterns of defence we formed
with painful events early in our lives.

Example: if we were intruded on as children,

we may feel excessively guarded as adults,
or simply lack boundaries in our adult
relationships, hence becoming
peoplepleasers. If we were rejected as kids,
we may feel distrusting in our relationships,
always anticipating disappointments and let-
downs.

People tend to cling to these defended ways

of responding to others, and remain
emotionally trapped in cycles from their past.
As adults, it is important to give up the hope
of ever filling the voids we felt as children. In
order to become psychologically
differentiated, we need to, in effect, say
goodbyes to our child selves and live fully as
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the adults we are now.
iv. Develop your own values, ideals and
beliefs, rather than automatically those that
you grew up with. Now, it’s time to develop
your own personal ideals and values, not
necessarily the ones you grew up with. Ask
yourself what you value, what makes you
unique, what you personally are interested in,
and what kind of life you seek to live. You
have to tune in deeply and differentiate
yourself from others in this process. By the
end of this, you’d have become a more
confident and self-assured person.

I help my clients practically on this

differentiation process in my signature
program EVOLVED & SINGLE. I hold their
hands from start to finish to help them
successfully differentiate themselves from
others, using these 4 processes above. I
invite you to join if you seek this in-depth
support as well.

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3. SEEK MEANING:

After revisiting your past, and practising the

differentiation process, next is to SEEK
MEANING. What do I mean by this?

Does your life hold any meaning to you? What

goals are you pursuing? What are your
deepest ambitions? Why do you want them?
What would achieving your goals/ambitions
mean to you?

Finding yourself equates to finding meaning

in your life. Or in order words, finding
purpose. This comes after developing your
own values, ideals and beliefs, and
discovering the life that you really and truly
want to commit to.
Finding meaning means finding something
truly worthwhile that you are living for, and
which has nothing to do with what others
want for you.

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This particular ambition or goal is so
important that your life is meaningless or
fruitless without it. This is what's truly called
PURPOSE.

Finding meaning/purpose means committing

yourself to a cause bigger than yourself, yet
absolutely worth living and dying for. It is
knowing whose life you are living, why you
choose it, as well as following your own inner
compass to a much higher fulfilling life.

How meaningful is your life?

What are you committing your life to, right
now?
If you don't know it yet, then it is sure that
you'll be an absolute people-pleaser, as well
as feeling empty and unfulfilled inside you.

Darling sis, it's time to get in touch with your

inner compass, to give your life meaning.

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4. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT:

After you have decided to give your life a

good meaning, next is to decide what you
really want. Sis, what do you really want?

What do you want to do to give your life its

meaning?

What do you want in your life?

What exactly is making your heart beat faster

with life?

It is only when you know what you really want,

and what would give your life its absolute
meaning, that you can really find true joy.

Sis, what do you really want?

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5. RECOGNIZE YOUR PERSONAL POWER:

You have innumerable powers within. You

have an insurmountable inner strength. You
have a willpower that no one can conquer.
The question is, why are you giving your
powers away?

You will suffer so much in life, if you keep on

giving other people your powers, and giving
them the absolute right to trample on you as
they like.
You have to stop giving your personal powers
away.

Your personal power is that inner strength

within you, that no one can own or wield
without your permission. It is your power to
fight for who you are and what you believe
in. Your personal power fills you with that
courage to stand firm and alone, without
approval or validations from anybody.

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To truly live in your most authentic self, you
must wield this power intentionally, and use it
to drive your life to wherever you want to be.
To make personal decisions that no one can
interfere with, and truly live life on your own
terms.

Recognizing your personal powers is indeed

important. Knowing that the YOU within is all
you need to allow to shine, and match with
the external you. Powerfully taking that
space of being who you are inside, saying
YES when you really mean yes, and NO when
you really mean no, regardless of how anyone
feels about you.

When you take ownership of these powers, all

external influences flee. All external means
of control disappear. And all fears of what
others think dissolves into thin air.

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You must know your personal powers and
courageously live in ownership of it. Don't
hand it over to anyone else. Doing that
means a total loss of autonomy on yourself
and becoming a puppet of other people
instead.

6. SILENCE YOUR INNER CRITIC:

After knowing what you want and

recognizing your personal powers, your inner
critic is most likely to come and hold you
back.

Although you have met with your inner critic

in step 2 above of differentiation, you have
learnt to recognize your inner critic and
separate your identity from it.

The inner critic. The internal judge and jury.

The critical inner voice. The inner mean one.
All labels for that inner voice that tells us:

37
I am not good enough!
I’m a failure!
I should give up!
I should be over this by now!
I’m fat and ugly!
No one likes me!
I’ll never succeed!
I’m useless?

The inner critic can lead to feelings of guilt,

shame, anxiety, depression and can at times
feel debilitating. Our inner critic is shaped by
our experiences throughout our lives and
especially by our primary attachment figures
(carers and parents).

Were you bullied throughout school? Was

your mother or father harsh or perhaps
neglectful? Did you attend a school where
the culture focused on perfectionism and
achievement? Have you experienced a
trauma in your life?

41
The legacy of these experiences and the
voices of these people throughout our
childhood and throughout our lives can
sneakily become huge influences of our inner
dialogue.
especially

Now in this step, I'll show you how to silence

this inner critic when it shows up. Here are a
few actionable tips to help you silence your
inner critic:

i. Start becoming more aware of this inner

critic... How does it operate? What emotions
do they evoke within you? Is it shame? Guilts?
Fears? Anger? Etc. Understand the primary
emotion that comes up when your inner critic
shows up. Be more aware of it, and
remember that you are separate from this
critical inner voice. So, separate yourself
from it, by saying: "I AM NOT YOU, YOU ARE
NOT ME!"

42
ii. Give it a name: Based on the emotions
that Miss Critic evokes in you, you can give it
a name that suits it. "Meanie or Mean Girl",
"Ms. Saucy", "Angry Girl", "Guilt tripper",
"Baddie" "Sally", etc Give her a name that
exactly suits her personality inside you. This
will make you remember that you are not her
and she isn't you either. She's just a voice
who found a home inside you due to the
experiences you've had in your past.

iii. Understand that Ms. Critic is only trying to

protect you somehow: Yes, this sounds
counterintuitive, but it's actually really true.
You have been with yourself for a long time
and experienced lots of criticisms and bitter
experiences while growing up. Your inner
critic is trying to protect you from making a
fool of yourself with people. So it uses
shame, guilts, fears and lots of bitterness to
torment you to cringe.

43
All you have to do is, gently acknowledge
her, and let her know that she is entitled to
her opinions. She has always been a baddie
holding you back. You see her but you won't
let her win.

iv. Practise self-compassion.

If you don't show compassion on yourself,
who will? You are your biggest company
everyday. The way you feel inside you, is the
way you will be with the outside world. It's
not like the world cast you out. You are the
one who is yet to accept yourself totally, and
feel 100% at ease and playful with yourself.
So start by being compassionate to yourself.
The more you do that, the more Ms. Critic
takes a back seat or disappear. And when
that happens, you become confident to take
your own space in the world happily, without
vanity.

44
v. Gently Challenge your Inner critic: When
Ms. Saucy shows up and starts to diss you,
telling you that you really are stupid or dumb
for doing that. You can just gently and
consciously respond with:

"Hey Saucy, I see you. I'm not stupid or dumb.

In fact, I applaud myself for being
courageous to do that. Yes, I might have
flopped, but hey, who doesn't. Nothing new
under the sun. If I try again and again, I'll
become better and pro everyday. Thanks but
no thanks Saucy."

The more you are able to master the art of

challenging your inner critic, the more pro
you become in challenging external critics.
You become a Queen of your own world,
babe!

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7. PRACTICE COMPASSION & GENEROSITY
ON YOURSELF:

You don’t need to be so hard on yourself, just

because you keep falling into mistakes, or
going back to tolerate the things you have
vowed never to tolerate anymore.

Growth takes time. Living authentically takes

practice of being true to yourself everyday,
tuning in to your mind and your soul.
Be compassionate with yourself, and believe
that you will certainly get better as you stand
for yourself better. Don’t be hasty and don’t
beat yourself up. With constant practice, you
will soar.

8. ASOCIATE WITH POSITIVE COMPANIONS:

Who are those you keep as companions? The

more positive and aligned they are to your
goals, the better you get towards that goal.

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Negative companions pull you back from the
progress you want to make. They cast upon
you self-doubts and inadequacies, and leave
you feeling hopeless about being what you
want to be.

Associate yourself with the right people.

People who are alrady at the forefront of
where you want to be. People whom you can
genuinely learn from. People whose presence
in your life inspire and transform you. Not
people who drain you and take you
downwards.

The more you keep yourself with these true

people, the higher you go towards being the
most powerful version of yourself.

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CONCLUSION

In recap, these are the eight steps you need to

take on the journey to finding yourself:

1. Make sense of your past

2. Differentiate yourself
3. Seek meaning
4. Think about what you really want
5. Recognize your personal power
6. Silence your inner critic
7. Practice self-compassion and generosity
8. Associate with positive companions

All these eight steps thoroughly detailed in this

book, if carefully worked upon, would help you
enter marriage in confidence and bliss. You
would have the insights and foresight to choose
the man who aligns with your values and goals,
and whose presence adds meaning to your life.

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No doubts, marriage is not a bed of sweet-
smelling roses. It’s full of thorns as well. There
will be challenges in your marriage. And it
doesn’t mean that even the right man for you
would be perfect. But what you stand to gain in
finding yourself first is that you get to be a
happy confident wife who relates with her
husband, from a place of pure authenticity and
intentional loving.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Khawlah Ayobami Akeeb is a Premarital and

Singles Coach, and an emotional healing coach,
founder of Noble Lady's Heritage, who helps
Muslimah single ladies to rediscover themselves
before marriage, elevate their self esteem, and
enter marriage with deep calm confidence and
tawakkul, whilst pursuing a life of purpose and
fulfilment.

Khawlah has experienced the rollercoaster ride

of marriage, which has inspired her to be a
guide to Muslimah singles, so they can make
wise choices before getting married.

She is an amazing personality, a warm spirited

woman, mother of 4 children. She speaks and
writes words that bring life to the heart and soul,
and make people fall in love with themselves all
over again.

50
Khawlah loves all things healing, love, beauty,
life reflection and Sunnah. She cherishes the
simple things of life like bread, books and tea.

She is a lot of a private woman, who spends

most of her time indoors.

She hails from Iwo, Osun State. A second-class

upper graduate of Accounting in Fountain
University, Osogbo.

Khawlah teaches with passion. She counsels with

objectivity and love. She is a powerful advocate
of emotional healing and self love. She coaches
with utmost belief in her clients. She has taught
and coached over a thousand single Muslimahs,
helping them to heighten their belief and
confidence in themselves, and equally embark
on living powerfully purposeful lives for their
Lord.

51
Ayobami also coaches the Muslim wives to
rediscover themselves and go from broken to
thriving wives who become cherished wives.

She holds classes for single ladies and Muslim

women who want to heal and find joy in their
lives again.

She is a lover at heart. A sappy romantic, who

believes in love in marriage. But most
importantly, she believes in finding your
authentic self in marriage, so you can thrive as a
cherished wife and mother.

Khawlah is as friendly as the evening breeze.

Relaxing and soothing to be with. Working with
her is the most beautiful and enjoyable
experience for her clients.

She is actively working to bring the best for her

clients' deep transformation.

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WORK WITH ME

Have you been feeling lost and disconnected

from your original self? Do you struggle with
authenticity and confidence in your
relationships? Do you suffer from childhood
wounds or trauma that is presently affecting
your life in a negative way?

And you are tired. Tired of living a life that’s not

yours. Tired of being who you are not, for other
people. Tired of your NO being YES. Tired of
overexplaining yourself to people who don’t
even value or respect you. Tired of your NOs
being constantly disrespected.

Sis, it’s time to step out of that. This tiredness is

a proof that your real self is screaming to come
out. This tiredness is a proof that you are feeling
choked up of living for other people. This
tiredness means that YOU WANT TO CHANGE.

52
But how badly do you want this change?

If you badly need a transformation in your life,

and ready to give your all and going extra miles,
just to get help in being the higher, healed,
authentic version of YOU, then EVOLVED &
SINGLE program is my answer for you. I am
confident that this program will help you shine
brighter as your powerful authentic self,
especially before marriage, so that you can
attract a high-value man, and be the thriving
cherished wife in your marriage.

EVOLVED & SINGLE PROGRAM is my signature

program for singles’ self-discovery journey. In
this program, which lasts for 12 weeks, I help
single ladies to find their truest authenticity, and
fall in love with themselves first, before falling in
love with a man or hitching in marriage.

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Are you ready to begin this incredible journey to
your transformation? Connect with me on
WhatsApp: +2348021360402 . Or email
khawlahakeeb@gmail.com

CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

Instagram: Noble Lady’s Heritage
Facebook: Noble Lady’s Heritage

SEE YOU INSIDE, MY LOVELY!

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