MENTOR

TRAINING

2023
Welcome to
Mentorship
You all remember the day you
met your mentor. You were so
nervous about being in high
school and for some of you
that was the first person that
you got to know in high
school.
A mentor is a very important
role at Sutherland, and I am
super excited to join you on
your journey as a mentor.
Have I?
Had a meeting with
Gotten my mentees Called my mentees Term 1: Watched
Mr Nolan? (Red
contact details and parents to introduce their grade 8
Blazer Candidates
given them mine? myself? concert?
only)

Term 1: Taken my Term 2: Supported Term 3: Taken my Maintained defaults

mentees on an my mentees at their mentee on an below 200 AND a nett
outing? activities? outreach? of 0?

Completed 40 hours Maintained my

of community mentor evaluation
service? ( Red Blazer file and kept it up to
Candidates) date?
Let me tell you about Kevin
Normal

Cool guy
 • The concept of honour is one that has
become vague to our generation. The
word, today, has lost its true meaning
and its connotation is usually
KEVIN associated with war heroes or
common in schools as an award
UNDERSTOOD received by a pupil. The unfortunate
HONOUR reality is this, a generations lack of
honour, nevertheless its
understanding of it, is usually the root
for many problematic issues that
arise within that generation.
So, What exactly is Honour?
• Marriam-Websters dictionary defines honour as “a Symbol of
distinction: a showing of merited respect and a keen sense of high
ethical conduct.
• What is your definition of Honour?
Respect Honour
 Expected  Given
 Acts based on  Acts on value I give to
culture/norms people/something
 Honouring people releases favour

Honouring your parents releases peace in a home

Honouring your relationships releases unity

Honouring your school releases growth

Characteristics Honouring your teachers releases knowledge

of Honour Honouring your authority releases responsibility

Honouring leaders releases wisdom and impartation

Honouring your mentees releases a legacy

Honouring yourself releases potential

Honouring God releases purpose and direction

AUTHORITY
AND
HONOUR
THE POWER OR RIGHT TO GIVE
ORDERS, MAKE DECISIONS, AND
ENFORCE OBEDIENCE.
 Authority and honour

WHAT GIVES SOME ONE THE RIGHT WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK WHAT IS THE ROLE OF AUTHORITY
TO BE IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY MEANS? IN OUR LIVES?
AUTHORITY?
HONOURING
THOSE BELOW ME
My Mentees
 • Being present goes far beyond “Being seen”. It includes:

Presence:
BUILDING TRUST

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how
much you care”
~Theodore Roosevelt~

You are a model for them. They see:

• The way you react when the staff ask you to do tasks
• How you talk about other people (the staff, mentors,
gr10’s)
• Your attitude when things aren’t going your way
• The language you use when staff aren’t around
 It’s Calling them by their name
the
little The random convo between the tap and
things the shelters
“ R U L E S that Asking how they did in the activities
W I T H O U T
R E L A T I O N S H I P count:
W I L L A L W A Y S
R E S U L T I N The hi 5 when they get something right
R E B E L L I O N ”
~ T O N Y E V A N S ~
Screaming and cheering for them during
the activities

Recognising the small, good things that

they do and TELLING THEM that you see it
Roles that you will need to play
STAFF FACILITATOR
FACILITATOR
• Task-orientated
• Getting from A and B
• Low level of involvement with the
participants
• Gives directional input on occasion
when the group is off track
• Allows participants to make their own
decisions and mistakes
• Gives room for the group to motivate
one another and solve their own
problems
MENTOR FRIEND
MENTOR
• Person-orientated
• The journey between A and B
• High level of involvement and
conversation
• Focusses on introspection and
reflection
• Reflects on the lessons learnt from
decisions, successes and failures made
• Motivates the participants and does
follow ups
Building trust within your group is
essential to you fulfilling the role of
a facilitator and a mentor. When
trust is evident in the group you will
be able to vacillate between the
roles of facilitator, without the group
perceiving you as disinterested and
not carrying, and the role of mentor,
without the group thinking you are
controlling and “too deep and
serious”.
 Know your group Affirm them every Be honest with them, if Be consistent with how
members by name and chance you get (if they you see them making a you treat everyone. Give

Practical
call them by their name. are polite, help mistake, tell them. Use each member the same
someone, are courteous this a moment to teach amount of attention.
etc) them.

ways to
build trust
Have one-on-one casual Apologise when you Share your own stories, LISTENING TO THEM
conversations with the make a mistake. experiences, and
members in your group. personal opinions
This could be at lunch without stating them as
stops, water breaks, over fact.
supper or playing a
game of cards. These
moments are crucial.
 Gossiping about other mentors,
Having favourites. Talking only to the
teachers and sharing confidential
students that you have a good
information or complaining about
relationship with
the school

Things that Using vulgar language. Remember

that in the eyes of a student YOU are

can break the benchmark of what a “good”,

“mature” young adult looks like.
They are not yet gracious to see that
Focussing more on their mistakes
than on what they are getting right

trust: we also make mistakes.

Avoid comments like:

Talking down or making fun about
the things they value. E.g., Their
sports, extra-murals, family
background etc
• You play such a “moffie” sport
• This country is going nowhere!
• A real man/woman does this….
• Midstream (or any other school) kids are just
spoilt
• ___________ shouldn’t have been a prefect
• Grade 10 F is useless
 1. When you honour yourself, 2. When you honour your
you honour your needs and needs and your health, your
your health. body reacts with trust.

Honouring
3. When your body is in a
state of trust, your heart 4. When your heart opens
opens and overflows with and overflows with love, you

Myself
love for yourself and for the align with self-love and
healthy decisions you are become more self-caring.
making.

5. When you align with self-

6. When you shine this light
love and self-care, you shine
you attract outer love.
and become very vibrant.

https://www.doyou.com/why-honoring-yourself-means-more-inner-and-outer-love/
 You must realise the value people
have in your life in order to Honour
them the way they should be.

To Honour means to regard or treat

someone with respect and admiration.

Which is what we feel for most of our

inner circle.

Honouring But the question is?

those around Are you honouring friends that don’t

me influence you positively?

 The successful leader is the one who understands that he cannot take people
where he has never been. It is of vital importance that a leader has a spirit that
is willing to learn new things and develop himself. The reality of life is that
there will always be people out there who know things that you don’t and if
you want to be effective as a leader, you need to be willing to gain knowledge
from such people. Life is a classroom, and it is therefore your responsibility to
learn as much as you can. Having a Teachable Spirit is something that will
enhance your development as a leader, but more so as a human being.

TEACHABILITY
Teachability is how teachable you are.

Teachability can be segregated. A person can be teachable in one are but totally
unteachable in another area. Teachable in sport but unteachable when it
comes to working with relationships.
 Chronic Failure: Failing again and again shows that you are unwilling to learn new
ways to do something or try new things.

Argumentative and defensive nature: If a person is continually arguing and being

defensive then they are not giving themselves the opportunity to take in new
information because these traits put up a barrier, which is not very constructive when a
person is trying to be teachable.

CHARACTERISTICS Isolation and withdrawal in difficult times: When things get tough and difficult an
OF AN unteachable person will withdraw and isolate themselves. Instead of stepping out of
their comfort zone and trying new things.
UNTEACHABLE
SPIRIT Blame transfer: By passing the buck when something goes wrong you do not take
accountability for your actions. When we make a mistake, we learn. When a person
refuses to accept responsibility, they don’t learn anything because there are no
consequences.

Surrounding yourself with likeminded people and being threatened by the

opposite: Yes, it is nice to be surrounded by people that think the way you and have
the same likes and dislikes, but it doesn’t lead to a very teachable environment for any
party involved because you’ll never be exposed to anything than what you all agree on.
 • Pride: To be proud of something or proud of an achievement is a good
thing. But to be full of pride is not. We tend to think that is. A person
who is prideful tends to become arrogant and selfish. Healthy pride is
about self-confidence, unhealthy pride is ego-centric and about self-
promotion.

ROOT CAUSES • Rebellion and independence: Imagine if all the learners in Sutherland
were rebellious and thought they could be independent on their high

OF AN
school journey. It doesn’t lean to a very teachable environment? If
someone is always fighting the system and resisting authority, it
means there is no way they will be able to learn anything.

UNTEACHABLE • Insecurity: If a person is insecure about themselves, they tend to

withdraw themselves and aren’t open to new opportunities and ways
of doing things.

SPIRIT: • Foolishness: This one is self explanatory. If someone is being foolish

then they are not serious. If they are not serious then there is no way
anyone could teach them anything.
• Laziness: Also, simple. If there is no genuine willingness to learn
anything then they will also never be teachable.
CHARACTERISTICS OF A TEACHABLE SPIRIT
HUMILITY: HUMILITY IS THE
OPPOSITE OF PRIDE. A TEACHABLE
PERSON IS ABLE TO HUMBLE
THEMSELVES AND CAN COME TO
THE REALISATION THAT THEY WILL
BENEFIT FROM LEARNING
SOMETHING NEW.
GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTING SEEKING COUNSEL IN TIMES OF
CORRECTION AND INPUT: THEY WEAKNESS,DIFFICULTY AND
ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT DECISION MAKING: WHEN THEY
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. THEY REALLY NEED, THEY WILL SEEK
KNOW THAT THEY COULD BE ADVICE FROM PEOPLE. THEY ONLY
MISSING SOMETHING THAT DO THIS BECAUSE THEY WILL BE
SOMEONE MIGHT POINT OUT. WILLING TO ACCEPT WHATEVER
THAT PERSON HAS TO SAY AND
TAKE IT INTO ACCOUNT.
SUBMITTING TO AUTHORITY AND
STAYING ACCOUNTABLE: A
TEACHABLE PERSON
UNDERSTANDS THAT THOSE IN
AUTHORITY ARE THERE BECAUSE
THEY HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE AND
SKILLS TO BE THERE, AND THEY
ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE IN
AUTHORITY HAVE MORE
EXPERIENCE AND FOR THIS
REASON THEY SUBMIT TO THEM,
EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T AGREE
WITH THEM. THEY HOLD
THEMSELVES ACCOUNTABLE FOR
THEIR ACTIONS AND LEARN TO DO
BETTER GOING FORWARD.
 CHARACTER: THE ABILITY TO FINISH WHAT I START IN LIFE
NO MATTER WHAT THE COST.

INTEGRITY: TO DO WHAT I SAY I WILL DO, ESPECIALLY

WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING.

OBEDIENCE: THE ABILITY TO FULFIL THE SMALLEST

LEADERSHIP COMMAND TO THE FINEST DETAIL.

IS SERVICE:
ATTITUDE: THE ABILITY TO FUNCTION BEYOND YOUR
CIRCUMSTANCES.

THE SUPER 7 EXCELLENCE: TO GO THE EXTRA MILE, ALL THE TIME

INITIATIVE: TO GO THE EXTRA MILE, ALL THE TIME,

WITHOUT BEING ASKED.

SUBMISSION: TO WORK UNDER AUTHORITY EVEN WHEN

YOU DON’T AGREE WITH IT.
 Anxiety: Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear
about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing,
sweating, and feeling tired may occur.

Depression: Everyone can feel sad or overwhelmed at

MENTAL times. But depression is a chronic feeling of emptiness,

sadness, or inability to feel pleasure that may appear to
happen for no clear reason. It is distinct from grief and other
HEALTH emotions a person may feel following difficult life events.

Bipolar: A disorder associated with episodes of mood

swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs.
How do you feel?
I have trouble
I have lost interest in my
I feel guilty; I have no I feel I am a failure or have I often feel restless or concentrating on things
hobbies. Most of the time I
confidence? let my family down? tired? like homework or
would rather be alone?
watching TV?

I have unrealistic ideas I often think about death.

I have trouble sleeping or I My appetite has increased My thoughts race. I can’t
about the great things that Thoughts about suicide
sleep too much? or decreased? slow my mind down?
I am going to do? pop into my mind?

If you have (or had) four or

more of these feelings,
I like very dangerous I use drugs and/or alcohol
and if they last longer than
activities? on a regular basis?
two weeks, you may have
depression.
 • While some suicides may occur without any outward warning, most
do not. The most effective way to prevent suicide is to learn to
recognise the signs of someone at risk, take these signs seriously and
know how to respond to them.
• Previous suicide attempts: Between 20 and 50 percent of people who
kill themselves have previously attempted suicide. Those who make
serious suicide attempts are at much greater risk of taking their lives.
Talking about death or suicide: People who commit suicide often talk

KNOW THE about it directly or indirectly. Be alert to such statements as, “My
family would be better off without me”. Sometimes those
contemplating suicide talk as if they are saying goodbye or going

DANGER SIGNS
away.
• Depression: Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most
suicidal people are depressed. Serious depression can be manifested
in obvious sadness, but often it is expressed instead as a loss of
pleasure or withdrawal from activities that had once been enjoyable.
 Be concerned about depressed persons if at least five of the following symptoms have been present
nearly every day for at least two weeks:
- depressed mood
- change in sleeping patterns
- change in appetite or weight
- speaking or moving with unusual speed or slowness
- fatigue or loss of energy
- feelings of worthlessness, self-reproach or guilt
- thoughts of death or suicide

KNOW THE Additional factors that point to an increased risk for suicide in depressed individuals are:

DANGER
- Extreme anxiety, agitation or enraged behaviour
- Excessive drug and / or alcohol use or abuse
- History of physical or emotional illness
- Feelings of hopelessness or desperation

SIGNS
TAKE THE SIGNS SERIOUSLY
- 75% of all suicides give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member
- All suicide threats and attempts should be taken seriously.
 - Take the initiative to ask what is troubling
them
- If your friend or relative is depressed DON’T
be afraid to ask whether he/she is
considering suicide
- Do NOT attempt to argue anyone out of

BE WILLING TO suicide, rather let the person know that you

care and understand that they are not alone,
that suicidal feelings are temporary, that
LISTEN depression can be treated and that problems
can be solved. AVOID the
temptation to say, “You have so much to live
for” or that “suicide will hurt your family”.
 - In an acute crisis, take the person to
an emergency room or walk-in clinic –
DO NOT leave the person alone until
help is available
- Remove drugs, razors, scissors, or
firearms that could be used in a suicide
attempt away from the potentially
suicidal person
- If the above options are unavailable
call your local emergency numbers.

IN A CRISIS
FOLLOW-UP

Take an active role to ensure that the

prescribed medication is taken and report
any unexpected side effects to a doctor.
Continue to offer support after treatment has
been initiated
 L E A D I N G
A M E N TO R
M E N T E E
S E SS I O N
LEARN YOUR AUDIENCE
• What you will accomplish each time you are with a small group will vary. Watch for the “signs” and ask the
“questions”- the answers will reveal a lot. For example, the group whose favourite movie is Saw III might respond
differently to the group whose favourite movie is Finding Nemo
• Signs: What are they interested in? When do they tune in? When are they disinterested?

• Questions: Gimme Five (fav foods, things that make you cry, fav songs etc)

What are your top 3 (fears, places to hang out etc)?

Would you rather…? (Be wealthy or well-known)

Name your favourite (Tv Show, colour, hero etc)

If you could…? (Go anywhere, redo something)

Have you ever...? (Told a lie and got busted, been in the ocean)

What if…? (You had a million dollars, were terminally ill)

Find a connection point It could be sports, music, When it comes to hockey, What will it take to How is life playing a video Tell me about a
and relate it to the movies, fashion, game what are some of the accomplish your dream of game or Xbox? sportsperson/musician
message systems etc ways you show becoming an actor one who is using his or her
responsibility on and off day? influence to make a
the field? difference in the world.
Let them hear their own voices
by starting with a question
everyone can answer
What was the highlight of our
week?
Tell me something funny that
happened in class today?
 When you feel the situation has become a little awkward try the below steps:

Tell them your story. I remember when I… : Connect with their emotions. Realize that your
vulnerability will create an environment where they feel safe to open up themselves.
Remember that you “lead people with your strengths, but you connect with them through
your weaknesses.” Obviously, choose appropriate levels of vulnerability with students.

Have them tell their stories: Have you ever had happen to you? Tell me about it.

DEAD SPACE Have them tell someone elses story: Without mentioning names, do you know anyone who
struggle with?

“How did that make you feel” or “Talk to me about”: Have them elaborate by asking open
ended questions or asking them to expand upon an answer/story.

What would happen if we all…?: Dream and cast a vision in order to bring a point/result
across.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you when it come to…?: Use this to get to know there
personalties a little more.
REMEMBER
Answer the unspoken question of
“How does this relate to my life”
Make sure that part of the
discussion, usually the conclusion,
clearly answers that question.
E.g., “Well, if you don’t own up
(accountability) people will start
losing trust in you, what do you
think?”
CUES: NONVERBAL
COMMUNICATION
• 65-90% of all communication is nonverbal. That means, all
the talking you do only accounts for a small portion of what
you communicate.
• Vanessa Van Edwards is behavioural investigator at her human
behaviour research lab, the science of People. She is a speaker,
researcher and the best selling author of Captivate. She has led
workshops for the world’s largest companies, including
Amazon, Microsoft, Comcast and Nike.
• In her new book Cues, she shows us how to master the secret
language of charismatic communication. I am going to show
you just 2 sections of cues that you can use to engage better
with your mentees during a mentor/mentee session.
• People are always looking for appreciation, acceptance and
acknowledgment. It should be your goal to show this verbally
and nonverbally.
 HOW
CUES
WORK?
 1. Lean like a leader: In a fascinating experiment researchers found that
when they asked participants to lean forward, they had increased neural
activation in the left frontal cortex. This part of our brain is associated with
desire and motivation, it creates and eagerness to move toward
something. Humans lean toward people, things and ideas they like. A lean
cue is a very powerful charismatic cue because they both communicate
interest to others and trigger internal interest.
2. Open body, Open Mind: A closed body signals a closed mind. Imagine if
Christ was painted with his arms closed or the statue of liberty was
clutching her torch instead of holding it over her head, arms outstretched.
If you’re open it inspires openness.
3. Front forward: The fastest way to show someone that you’re interested,
present and engaged is to fully square your body with them. Head, torso,
and toes. Turning toward is tuning in.
4. Be Smart with space: The closer we feel to someone the closer we allow

Charismatic them to come physically. You can decode how someone feels about you
based on how close to you they stand.

Cues:
5. Engage with gaze: Making eye contact helps you decode emotions .
Warmth Cues:
Tilting: A head tilt cue shows interest and
curiosity. Head tilts are a great way to warm up
cold interactions. When to tilt: To show interest,
deliver bad news, to encourage someone to open
up.
Savour smiles: A smile is a pure warmth cues.
Smiling makes you more memorable. Smiles wow
us because they wake up our own reward centres.
Its easier to remember people and things that
make us feel good. Remember there is a
difference between real and fake smiles that is
noticeable.
Nod to know: Nodding is a great way to inspire
agreement. When you nod yes, you get the other
person to speak more, 67% more. If you nod while
listening to someone open up, you will encourage
them to open up more and feel more open
yourself. Slow triple nods. Fast nodding can signal
impatience.
Touch of trust: Physical touch( high five,
handshake, pat on the back) creates oxytocin. In
interactions this increases trust, warmth and
rapport. Small touches also produce oytocin and
encourage trust. Be strategic, not creepy.
Eyebrows raise expctations: The eyebrow raise is
a nonverbal shortcut. It’s the fastest way to
communicate interest, curiosity and attention.
Mirroring makes you magnetic: Trying to meet
people where they are at. Matching their
behaviour. Mirroring makes you more likeable and
persuasive. Mirroring helps you emotionally sync
up with someone by enabling your empathy.
Don’t mirror negative body language or cues.
Mirroring is powerful that only subtle mirroring is
needed. If you copy every cue, you very quickly
stray in creepy territory.

You are required to
participate in an outing and
an outreach with all your
mentees.
MENTOR
MENTEE Give them suitable time
frames to prepare if there are
OUTING AND any costs involved.
OUTREACH
You will rate your mentees on
their involvement and they
will need to provide feedback
on the outing and the
outreach.
You can do any outreach you
wish and any outing you
wish. Just remember that
you must inform their
parents of these two events.
Remember to always receive
consent from their parents
and ensure that where
necessary and adult is always
present.
Ensure you do these two
events properly because they
will be need to be approved
by the Head of Mentorship-
Mr Pansegrauw.
Grade 8 Orientation Day
Tuesday 16 January 2024
• Mentors must be at school at 09:00. You must be seated by the tennis courts in
your houses.
• Mr Magagula will address you and the mentorship assistants will take register. If
you are not at school on Tuesday and cannot meet your mentees, then you can't
be a mentor and will not continue with the red blazer programme. If you can't
make it, you need to please let me know by 18:00 on Saturday, 7th January 2022.
• You must come in summer uniform. There will be an appearance inspection by the
prefects and by me when you come down to the pavilion. If your appearance is not
up to standard, you will be sent home and you will not become a mentor.
• The mentors will be dismissed at 14:00.
• Mentorship is not a joke and needs to be taken seriously. You need to be a role
model to your mentees. I will not tolerate anything that isn’t up to standard.
 MEET THE TEAM
Deputy Head: Head of
Mentorship Mentorship

Argyll Bays Cameron Dunrobin Freskin Lindley Roberts Seaforth

WELCOME TO
MENTORSHIP
EXCITED TO BE WALKING THIS
JOURNEY WITH YOU