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ǼǼƬȒȇɎƺȇɎɀ۰באאIɖɎɖȸƺ¨ɖƫǼǣɀǝǣȇǕnǣȅǣɎƺƳȒȸȵɖƫǼǣɀǝƺƳɖȇƳƺȸǼǣƬƺȇƬƺِǼǼȸǣǕǝɎɀȸƺɀƺȸɮƺƳِ
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Bath BA1 1UA. All information contained in this publication is for information only and is, as far
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ɎǝƺǣȸƬȒȇɎƺȇɎɀȒȸƏȇɵȒɎǝƺȸƬǝƏȇǕƺɀȒȸɖȵƳƏɎƺɀɎȒɎǝƺȅِÁǝǣɀȅƏǕƏɿǣȇƺǣɀǔɖǼǼɵǣȇƳƺȵƺȇƳƺȇɎ
ƏȇƳȇȒɎƏǔˡǼǣƏɎƺƳǣȇƏȇɵɯƏɵɯǣɎǝɎǝƺƬȒȅȵƏȇǣƺɀȅƺȇɎǣȒȇƺƳǝƺȸƺǣȇِ
8
INFLUENTIAL
28
LIFEAFTERBETRAYAL
PSYCHOLOGISTS
PAST&PRESENT
48
LEARNING
32 TO
TRUST
12
HOWTOTHRIVE
THECHAMELEON
EFFECT
ONFAILURE
50
THEIMPACTOF
14
UNDERSTANDING 34
LIVINGLIFEONLINE
DISSOCIATIVE
DISORDERS
HUMANINSTINCT
54
SET
38
HEALINGWITHREIKI
YOURSELF
FREEOF
THEPAST
40
YOUCAN’TCONTROL
56
INTOTHEBLACK
EVERYTHING SUICIDE
26
WAYSTOMAKE
LIFEMOREFUN 42
YOURMENTAL
62
CANYOU
HEALTHMASTERCLASS KEEPASECRET?
6 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
CONTENTS
66
REDISCOVER
89
FOLDAWAY
YOUR YOURFEARS
OPTIMISM 106
HOWWELEARN
90
WHITECOAT
70 SYNDROME 110
THEPAINOFEXISTENCE
WHYWEGETADDICTED
72 94
WHAT’SYOUR
112
UNDERSTANDING WHYDOWE
ATTACHMENTSTYLE? FEELGUILT?
INTROVERTS&
EXTRAVERTS
98
COUNTERACTING
116
MODERN
COERCIVECONTROL MEDITATION
78
THECOURAGETO 102
BEVULNERABLE SEEINGSOUNDS
&SMELLING
COLOURS 120
COULDSEX
84
TAPPINGIN
THERAPYHELPYOU?
TOTRAUMA
104 124
EMBRACETHEBLUE
86
THELOST
DOPAMINEFASTING
© Gey Images, David Reiss
MISSINGPEOPLE
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 7
INFLUENTIAL PSYCHOLOGISTS PAST & PRESENT
PAST
PRESENT
Don’t know where to start
with psychological theory?
Here are ten of the most
important and fascinating
psychologists that you
need to know about
WORDS JULIA MITCHELL
SIGMUND FREUD
BORN 6 May 1857
DIED 23 September 1939
Known by many as the ‘father of modern psychology’, Freud is renowned for his theories
which, at the time, were groundbreaking. His work spanned across many areas, delving
into the interpretation of dreams, childhood, sexuality and the unconscious mind. He
also developed psychoanalysis – a form of therapy that aims to treat mental illness by
delving into the unconscious mind and analysing the thoughts and feelings that lie there.
Other notable theories penned by Freud include the division of the adult personality
into three areas: the id, the ego and the super-ego, and the somewhat controversial idea
that all children go through a process of psychosexual development. This includes the
oral, anal and phallic stages, all of which must be successfully navigated in order to
prevent becoming ‘fixated’ on a certain stage, thus causing mental illness later in life.
8 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
INFLUENTIAL PSYCHOLOGISTS PAST & PRESENT
IVAN PAVLOV
BORN 26 September 1849
DIED 27 February 1936
While Pavlov was not a traditional psychologist (he actually won the Nobel Prize in 1904
for his work in physiology) his place on this list is indisputable due to the considerable
contributions that he made to behavioural psychology. Within this field he is well known
for his work around conditioning, theorising that learning can occur when a participant
is trained to respond in a particular way to a stimulus. He demonstrated this through
a series of experiments with dogs, where they were trained to salivate in response to
a neutral stimulus. He achieved this by training the dogs to associate the noise with
receiving food, and thus they began salivating when hearing that noise. Crucially, Pavlov
believed that these reactions were an automatic response caused by the training and not a
conscious decision on behalf of the dogs. This theory is known as classical conditioning.
B. F. SKINNER
BORN 20 March 1904
DIED 18 August 1990
Another behavioural psychologist, but this time convinced that the classical view of
conditioning was not reflective of the complex human mind, Skinner created a theory
known as operant conditioning. He proposed that behaviour is more likely to be repeated
depending on the outcome of that behaviour, and involves a decision being made on
behalf of the participant, weighed up against a consequence. For example, a puppy is more
likely to follow commands if they are given a reward. Operant conditioning acknowledges
that the puppy has chosen its behaviour based on the likelihood of its desired outcome.
As explained previously, classical conditioning on the other hand theorised that
behaviour could be conditioned using a stimulus that would create an involuntary
response, so this was a huge development on what started out as a fairly simplistic idea.
JEAN PIAGET
BORN 9 August 1896
DIED 16 September 1980
Piaget was one of the early child psychologists, interested in children’s
cognitive development. He theorised that a child’s intelligence isn’t inherently
determined, and that it instead grows as they age, moving through four key
stages. The first of those is the sensorimotor stage (ages 0-2) followed by the
preoperational stage (2-7), the concrete operational stage (7-11) and finally the
formal operational stage (12 and up). Within these stages, Piaget emphasised that
much of the child’s cognitive development comes from within, as they interact
with and learn more about the world. For example, children first learn about
object permanence during the sensorimotor stage, and their understanding of
objects continues to develop as they move through the stages, becoming able
to depict objects through words and images in the preoperational stage.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 9
INFLUENTIAL PSYCHOLOGISTS PAST & PRESENT
AARON BECK
BORN 18 July 1921
DIED 1 November 2021
Aaron Beck is oen referred to as the creator of
one of today’s most practiced forms of therapy,
cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Beck
theorised that depression was underpinned
by negative automatic thoughts. While
that might seem obvious now, other
psychologists at the time believed that
depression was caused by an innate
tendency towards suffering, meaning
that his theory was a huge departure
from those of his psychoanalytic peers.
Beck developed CBT as a collaborative
form of therapy, encouraging his
patients to be critical and evaluate
their negative thoughts, and to change
these thoughts and behaviours to
STEVEN HAYES
BORN 12 August 1948
Hayes is a clinical psychologist who first developed a third wave cognitive behavioural
therapy known as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which combines
psychotherapy with mindfulness and acceptance, with a strong focus on aligning
with one’s values. Hayes has additionally carried out research into the use of ACT in
the context of treating addiction, finding that this form of therapy can help people
to reduce the shame and stigma around their addictions, thus finding that as shame
levels reduce positive outcomes increase. Hayes is also the author of Relational
Frame Theory,
Theory, which outlines how relating one concept to another is a psychological
foundation of human language. It’s known to be quite complex but also very interesting,
and depicts the complexity of human cognition in comparison to other animals.
in violent behaviour
that’s modelled to them
by adults. It’s an intriguing
study, which demonstrated
how children can learn
attitudes and behaviours
from those around them.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 11
HOW TO THRIVE ON FAILURE
HOW TO THRIVE ON
W
e are all spectacular follows can be overwhelming – even you can move on to your next exciting
failures, sometimes. debilitating, if we dwell on it for too challenge with renewed determination.
From doomed long. On the other hand, trying to erase
relationships and it from your memory means you may Listen to your emotions
disastrous interviews overlook the knowledge you gained “Approaching any failure with self-compassion
to burnt cakes and embarrassing social from trying at all. Here’s how to deal can be transformational,” says clinical
blunders, the emotional onslaught that with failure in a more positive way so psychologist and founder of Good Thinking
12 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
HOW TO THRIVE ON FAILURE
Avoid people
who are quick DO YOU WELCOME OR
to judge your RUN FROM FAILURE?
circumstances
or decisions If you respond to failure by geing upset and giving
Psychological Services, Dr Marianne Trent. up, you’re missing out on vital life lessons and
This means acknowledging how you’re feeling
and giving yourself some time to process what
motivating forces. Respond to failure more positively,
has happened. Focusing on your emotions, and you may well get further in life.
rather than justifying why you failed, might
actually help you learn from the experience
and lead to you putting more effort into a
Your idea for a work party was vetoed. Do you get embarrassed
second attempt, according to one study*. and wish you’d not said anything?
DO IT Label your emotions as they arise YES NO
and sit with them for a moment. This will
motivate you to do better next time in order
There’s a mistake in a cra gi you’ve made for a friend.
to avoid being in the same situation.
Do you decide that it’s beer to give him/her nothing
Own your truth than to publicise your artistic failings?
“Putting heavy emphasis on the opinions of YES NO
others might well be linked to a previous trauma
in your personal or working life – like having You’ve submied a piece of work that you feel isn’t your best.
a dragon boss,” says Marianne. But in many
Do you wallow in disappointment and despair even
situations, only you know the full truth, and
the opinions of others might only amplify or
before you’ve received feedback?
confuse your feelings surrounding a failure. For YES NO
example, when a long-term relationship breaks
down, your friends can be quick to take sides and You’re losing badly at a game of Monopoly. Do you try
offer up unhealthy statements such as, ‘But you to disrupt and derail the entire game?
were such a power couple’. This may introduce
YES NO
or intensify any feelings of regret or guilt, which
just make the situation even more painful.
DO IT Avoid people who are quick to A colleague gets the promotion you’ve worked really hard for
judge your circumstances or decisions. If all year. Have you avoided telling anyone you applied in the first
you can close your ears to the misinformed place, so no one knows you’ve failed and you commiserate alone?
perceptions of others, you’ll come to terms YES NO
with failure more quickly and peacefully.
reassuring than any grinning emoji. goals lead to the bigger one, and there’ll be will feel all the sweeter when it does arrive.”
more wins to celebrate along the way. DO IT If you feel you’ve failed, don’t keep
Lower the bar it to yourself. You’ll be empowered when
It’s simple: if you set unrealistic goals, you’ll Stay inspired people – especially those who you perceive
feel a sense of failure more oen. Super-slim Many investors won’t consider parting with a to be successful – respond by sharing
stars with smooth, glowing skin that wear penny unless an entrepreneur has at least one similar experiences of their own.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 13
*Journal of Behavioral Decision Making
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
DISSOCIATIVE
DISORDERS
Underdiagnosed and rarely discussed, dissociative
disorders are surprisingly common, though you
may not recognise them for what they are
T
he mind has many ways of yourself and your environment, to forgetting and it can be a very lonely experience
coping when it’s under extreme certain information or memories, and as a result. There are resources and
stress, whether that’s due to a feeling unsure about who you are or having services that can help, which you can
particular incident or traumatic multiple identities that are distinct from see in our boxout within this feature.
experience, or as part of a each other. Some dissociative disorders Thanks to people like presenter and
mental health condition such as anxiety. can lead to feeling less or no physical pain. television personality Jamie Laing (see
One of the ways that the mind might While dissociative disorders are mental our interview aer this feature), openly
cope is through ‘dissociation’, which can health conditions, they lead to a range of speaking out about dissociative disorders,
leave a person feeling disconnected from both psychological and physical problems. we can slowly begin to break the stigma
their thoughts, feelings, own identity, For some, these periods of dissociation are surrounding these complex conditions.
surroundings, and/or memories. triggered by traumatic events from childhood The first step is in understanding
as a way of coping; for others, they come on what these conditions are, the signs
What are dissociative disorders? later in life aer personal experiences that and symptoms, and having access to
Dissociative disorders can present in several are particularly stressful or painful to process. the right resources and treatment.
ways and for different lengths of time. Some They may be linked to other mental health
people experience feelings of dissociation for conditions that increase levels of stress too. Dissociative identity disorder
just a few hours or days, whereas others can Whatever the trigger or type, dissociative Dissociation is an umbrella term that covers
feel disconnected for much longer – for weeks disorders can be scary to experience, different types of dissociative disorders,
or even months. In more extreme cases, these hard to explain and difficult to diagnose. which have their own set of symptoms,
disorders can last many years. Symptoms They are not talked about as oen as other, though there is oen some overlap.
vary from feelings of disconnection from more common, mental health conditions, You may be most familiar with a condition
called dissociative identity disorder (DID),
which used to be called multiple personality
14
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
16 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
* Mitra P, Jain A. Dissociative Identity Disorder [Updated 2022, May 17]
**Depersonalisation disorder: the condition you’ve never heard of that affects millions, The Guardian, 2015 Depersonalisation and derealisation: assessment and management, BMJ 2017;356:j745
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
can’t remember certain personal information million people in the UK (about one in 50
or events from their past. This isn’t the same
as being forgetful or having a bad memory,
people) and over six million in the USA**.
Many people don’t even know It can be
and these lapses are not linked to a medical
condition or medication/treatment. It’s
more like certain things have been wiped
that what they’re experiencing is
depersonalisation or derealisation, as
they’re not very well-known conditions.
hard to explain
from a person’s memory completely, which
can again be triggered by a particularly Signs and symptoms
how you’re
traumatic incident as a coping mechanism.
Dissociative amnesia can also cause a
Given the complexity of these types of
disorders, the signs and symptoms can vary
feeling
person to have blank episodes where they hugely from person to person. Some of the
can’t remember where they are or how they symptoms present with other conditions, periods in your life around certain events,
got there, with the condition lasting anything which is why a detailed assessment is or gaps in your memory, including personal
from a few minutes to days. In complex necessary to help build a picture of the full information. You may find yourself in
and rare cases, dissociative amnesia can impact of the symptoms being presented. a strange or different location, with no
last for many months or years, and can be What makes it harder is that even those recollection of how you got there. You may
combined with a state of fugue. Dissociative who have experienced a dissociative have a sensation that the world around you
amnesia with fugue is when a person disorder struggle to describe their isn’t quite real, and that objects and places
completely loses awareness of their own experiences. Conditions like dissociative seem to change and distort. You might feel
identity, and is oen linked with travelling identity disorder can, in some ways, be robotic or lifeless, or feel like the world is
to a new location and/or with a new identity easier to diagnose, given the presence blurred or foggy. You may feel detached
with no recollection of previous events. of distinct multiple identities. However, from your reality and environment, or from
Sometimes, dissociative disorders depersonalisation and derealisation your own body, like you’re watching your life
don’t fit into simple categories and can are difficult to put into words. Those from the outside. You may be disconnected
be unspecified (unspecified dissociative experiencing symptoms might describe from your sense of identity, or notice that
disorder) or specified (other specified their life as ‘living in a dream world’, or feeling other identities are present. This can make
dissociative disorder). All dissociative ‘detached’ from their environment or the it very difficult to define who you are, which
disorders can be difficult to diagnose, and people around them. Other descriptions can be confusing and overwhelming.
symptoms can oen be attributed to other oen used include the feeling that the
conditions before a full diagnosis is made. world is ‘foggy’ or ‘lifeless’, or as a person Getting a diagnosis
they feel ‘robotic’ or watching their life from A family doctor or GP is the first port of
Depersonalisation and derealisation outside their body. Usually those people call if you’re worried that you have the
Other types of dissociative disorders with these conditions are aware that what symptoms of a dissociative disorder. It can
are more common, and are likely to be they’re feeling isn’t really their reality, but be hard to explain how you’re feeling, so it’s
underdiagnosed so we don’t really know feel powerless to stop it from happening. worth writing down any episodes you can
how many people suffer from them. In terms of specific signs and symptoms, remember, or thoughts you are struggling
Depersonalisation disorder (DPD) and there are some to be aware of that may with. Accounts of many episodes and
derealisation disorder are two similar, but point towards a dissociative disorder. occurrences can help to build a picture for
slightly different, mental health conditions This can include things like having blank the doctor to help diagnose these conditions.
that impact a greater number of people.
Depersonalisation leads to feelings of
being ‘outside’ of yourself, as though you
are observing your life and actions from
a distance without feeling connected to
yourself. You might also feel as if you’re
floating away from your body, or can’t define
boundaries between yourself and other
people. Some people describe it as though
they are watching a film about themselves.
Derealisation is when your environment
feels like it’s not real, and you can feel
disconnected from everything around
you. This can be disorientating, as objects
can seem undefined and less solid.
It is possible to have depersonalisation
and derealisation individually or together,
and you may have a long period of
disconnection, or many short periods.
In the interview with Jamie Laing
following this feature, he talks about his
own experiences with depersonalisation
at the age of 27, aer suffering from general
anxiety disorder for many years previously.
It’s thought that DPD could affect up to 2%
of the global population, equating to over a
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 17
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
First, a doctor will need to rule out other symptoms are more likely to be linked to short-lived, infrequent or don’t have a huge
causes for the symptoms. Certain drugs another mental health condition, and the impact on your day-to-day life. In these
or medications, for example, can cause way the episodes impact on your everyday cases, self-help and online resources can be
dissociation, as can alcohol misuse. There life will be taken into consideration too. useful, and you can still ask for help with
could be a physical cause for the feelings It can still be difficult to get diagnosed your symptoms, even without a formal
of dissociation, such as a head injury, or with a dissociative disorder, partly due diagnosis. It might be that you come
another condition, such as anxiety. If there to an overlap in symptoms with more across dissociative disorders as a result
is no clear cause, then a full mental health common mental health conditions; of your own research and readings,
assessment is likely to be conducted, ideally partly due to a lack of understanding of trying to make sense of the way you
via a psychotherapist or psychiatrist with these conditions; and partly due to the feel and what you’re experiencing.
a background in dissociative disorders. difficulty in describing the symptoms.
This assessment requires honesty to Not everyone finds a specific diagnosis What causes dissociative disorders?
get a reliable diagnosis. It may be that the helpful, particularly if the symptoms are Dissociative disorders oen come about due
to a specific trauma, though not everyone
who experiences a difficult or traumatic
event will experience dissociation.
SUPPORT SOMEONE WITH A These disorders are more likely in those
who experience some form of abuse or
18 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
Dissociative disorders
often come about due to ESSENTIAL
a specific trauma RESOURCES
as a way of protecting you from what you’re For those who experience
AND LINKS
experiencing. Dissociation may stop us depersonalisation or derealisation linked
forming solid memories or understanding to anxiety, depression or panic attacks,
where we are or what is happening, learning techniques to help cope with UK
changing the way we think and feel until periods of disconnection can make
the real or perceived trauma has passed. dissociative episodes easier to manage. We Mind
mind.org.uk
This would explain periods of amnesia, or have covered some ideas for grounding
Mind Infoline 0300 123 3393
sensations of detachment and unreality. techniques in the boxout, which are (Monday-Friday, 9am-6pm)
things you can do in the moment if you
Samaritans
Links to other conditions feel disconnected or disengaged from
samaritans.org
Dissociative disorders can appear on the world around you or from yourself. Call 116 123 (24/7)
their own, or alongside another mental Many people find that the right counselling
health condition. This is why it can be is enough to recover from a dissociative Clinic for Dissociative Studies
www.clinicds.co.uk
hard to define a dissociative disorder disorder, especially if the underlying
and it’s not uncommon to get a diagnosis cause or trigger is addressed and coping European Society for
of a different condition instead. mechanisms and techniques are learned. Trauma and Dissociation
When dissociation is triggered by a specific There are some medications that are www.estd.org
traumatic event, a person may also suffer used, however there is nothing specifically First Person Plural
from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). for dissociative disorders. Rather, there www.firstpersonplural.org.uk
This causes a person to relive a traumatic are medications that can help to treat SHOUT
event and suffer from flashbacks. PTSD is triggers, causes and other symptoms that giveusashout.org
thought to affect one in three people who might then help with the dissociation. For Text ‘Shout’ 85258 (24/7)
experience trauma, and can be more likely example, being unable to sleep (insomnia)
if the trauma is experienced in childhood can make dissociation harder to cope
and/or over a sustained period of time. with, so medication might be prescribed USA
Depersonalisation or derealisation can be to help. Anti-depressants can also be National Alliance on
experienced by people who also suffer from used to manage depression or anxiety Mental Illness (NAMI)
anxiety and panic attacks. The panic attacks when present alongside dissociation. www.nami.org
can convince the mind that it is undergoing There are also some self-help techniques Helpline 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
a traumatic event and the mind reacts to that can be useful. Some people find that 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline:
the perceived threat just as it would a real keeping a journal helps, writing down your hps://988lifeline.org
one. Long-term anxiety can build up and thoughts and feelings so that you become Call 988 (24/7)
create a lot of stress in the body, which can more aware of them. For people with DID, Crisis Text Line
trigger dissociation to escape the situation. this can help to connect different identities, www.crisistextline.org
Depression, phobias, insomnia and obsessive and for those who experience periods of Text ‘Home’ 741741 (24/7)
compulsive disorder (OCD) can also create amnesia, a diary can help with memory Sidran Institute (Traumatic Stress
situations where the mind is over-stressed gaps. Other tips include writing notes for Education & Advocacy)
and triggers a dissociation episode. yourself with useful information, such as www.sidran.org
If a person suffers from a dissociative the time and date, emergency contact
disorder for a long period of time, this can numbers and reminders, so that if
also lead to thoughts of self-harm or suicidal your dissociation causes memory
AUSTRALIA
tendencies, as they struggle to connect with blanks or conflicting identities, you Samaritans
themselves or the world around them. have a practical reference. thesamaritans.org.au
It’s also important to look aer yourself Call 135 247 (8am-8pm)
Treatment and self-care in other ways. The fundamentals of a Lifeline
Once a dissociative disorder has been healthy life can help you to cope better www.lifeline.org.au
recognised or diagnosed, there are treatments with a dissociative disorder, such as Call 13 11 14 (24/7) Text 0477 13 11 14
available. For many people, this will be eating a balanced diet, getting enough Suicide Call Back Service
in the form of a talking therapy, such as sleep and doing some exercise. These www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au
© Gey Images / Nadzeya_Dzivakova
counselling. This gives you the space to talk things help to manage your mental 1300 659 467
through how you are feeling and to face the health and wellbeing, which in turn SANE
causes of stress in your mind and body. can help with dissociative disorders. www.sane.org
This might be specific trauma counselling, If you are worried about yourself, a Call 1800 187 263
which can be very difficult, but sometimes friend or a loved one suffering from a ReachOut.com (for young people)
by facing the trauma in a safe environment dissociative disorder, then please refer hps://au.reachout.com/
and being given the chance to confront it can to the useful resources, tips and links in
help to relieve the symptoms of dissociation. the boxouts throughout this feature.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 19
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
We know there’s a link between being someone who was, in my eyes, totally
dissociative disorders and other mental normal, to someone who was basically living
health conditions – tell us a bit about on the verge of panic at every single second.
your background and what mental
health conditions you’ve experienced How did you manage your
over the years… panic attacks?
I was a really anxious kid, without even I didn’t tell anyone because I thought it was
knowing it. I was hyper, I had ADHD, I didn’t this totally alien thing. I kept saying to my
listen, I didn’t sit still. You’d put me in a room friends, “Do you ever feel nervous?” And
and I’d just scream and shout. I was born in they were like, “Yeah, when I do a speech or
1988, and back then in the 1980s and 1990s, something.” And I was like, “No, do you feel
parents would just think you were naughty. nervous all the time?” And they were like,
I was known as a naughty kid. I was always “No.” So I didn’t tell anyone how I was feeling. I
s
is
Re
Da
eight years old, I was sent to boarding school, ©
which was probably the worst thing to do to Jamie has found exercise
a child like me, because nobody understood to be an effective self-
help technique
me and I then developed attachment issues
from being sent away. At night-time, I used to was feeling faint, I was wobbling all over the
get a lump in my throat, and I thought I was place… I felt worse and worse, and took myself
choking. I didn’t tell anyone. I now know it to hospital where I told them, “I’m dying.”
was anxiety, but I didn’t know what anxiety They said, “No, you’re not. You’re having a
was back then. panic attack.” I asked what a panic attack was
Many years later, I joined Made In Chelsea
Chelsea.. and they told me that my fight or flight mode
Like many young people with anxiety, I was was kicking in. They told me to go and have
really outgoing, I was upbeat, I was sporty, I a Coca-Cola and said I’d be fine. So I le the
was popular, and one day while I was filming hospital, and for the next ten hours I thought
for the second series of Made In Chelsea I I was dying. I woke up the following day, and
had a panic attack. I had this overwhelming it was the beginning of something called GAD
fear that I was dying. My heart was racing, I – general anxiety disorder. And I went from
© Gey Images / Ricky Vigil M
You feel
like you’re in a
dream, and you’re
not actually
attached to
yourself
About six or seven months later, I was in
the shower, and I suddenly said to myself
out loud for the first time, “What’s wrong
with me?” I broke down and phoned my
mum. I asked her the same question: “What’s
wrong with me?” and she put me in touch
with a doctor. The doctor told me I had
severe anxiety, that I should go to therapy,
and that I should be on medication. I said no
to both those things, and just tried to deal
with it myself. Every day was a struggle, but I
dealt with it by myself from the ages of about
23 to 27.
Jamie is married to
actually attached to yourself. Your body is Sophie Habboo, who
protecting you; your mind is protecting you. also starred in Made
In Chelsea
And so I had that for six to seven months.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 21
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
Jamie with some of the cast and crew of Made In Chelsea at the
Arqiva British Academy Television Awards 2013, where the show
won the Best Reality and Constructed Factual award
22 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
I didn’t
tell anyone
because no one
understood it...
Jamie and Spencer
And that made
Mahews have hosted
the podcast 6 Degrees
From Jamie and
me even more
Spencer since 2020
scared of it
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 23
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
I started
exercising and
that was a
massive help Jamie appeared in the 18th
for me. And also series of Strictly Come
Dancing in 2020, where he was
partnered with Karen Hauer
24 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
UNDERSTANDING DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS
Jamie confided
in his good friend
COLD
Toby Wilkinson, and
recommends other
people reach out to
at least one person if
THERAPY
they’re struggling with
their mental health
© Gey Images / David M. Bene / Mike Marsland / Comic Relief, Alamy / Frans Lemmens
I find it more beneficial than meditation,
because with meditation you have to sit still
for 10, 20, 30 minutes and just not think!
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 25
15 WAYS TO MAKE LIFE MORE FUN
W
hether you’re feeling
run down or life
feels a little bit like
Groundhog Day, you
might be wondering
how you can feel lighter and have more
fun. But don’t worry, there’s no need to
make any drastic changes. In fact, according
to research published in the Review of
General Psychology, at least 40% of our
happiness is down to our day-to-day
choices and activities. Here are 15 sure-
fire ways to bring a smile to your face.
1
Go for a walk
followed by
a sprint
A brisk ten-minute walk can
increase self-esteem while reducing anxiety
Boredom got you down? and stress, according to the Mental Health
Foundation. Exercise decreases stress
Try these happiness hacks to hormones while increasing mood-enhancing
ones. And, if you add a 30-second sprint at
boost your wellbeing the end, this doubles the endorphins and
improves your mood for up to 90 minutes.
3
Do something
spontaneous
Book a last-minute holiday or
head for an unplanned night out.
Changing our normal routine reminds us to
prioritise happiness and that we have the
freedom and power to do such things.
4 Pucker up
Apart from being good for your
relationship, kissing your other
half can make you feel happier. It
releases the feel-good hormones dopamine and
serotonin – the latter helps regulate our emotions.
5 Take a sniff
Vanilla is anything but bland
when it comes to boosting your
mood. Studies have revealed that
breathing in its scent can elevate feelings of joy
and relaxation. Choose candles and diffusers
with essential oils and breathe in deeply.
26 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
15 WAYS TO MAKE LIFE MORE FUN
6
Savour some
chocolate
You may already reach for a bar
of chocolate when you’re feeling
10
low, but there is some science behind it. The
feel-good sensation of chocolate is due to Achieve
a natural chemical found in cocoa called a goal
13
phenylethylamine, which researchers Whether it’s submitting
believe can create a feeling of mild euphoria, that work on time or simply Laugh
similar to the experience of being in love. getting that scrunched-up piece of paper out loud
into the bin, successes have a big impact Many studies have proved
7
on your mood. Set yourself a realistic and that laughing can improve
Go on a day trip specific goal to help give you a boost. our mental health. “According to an article
According to psychologists at San in the Tohoku Journal of Experimental
11
Francisco State University, experiences Medicine, dopamine and serotonin levels can
make us happier than new objects, Express be altered by laughter,” says mental health
because the excitement of buying something yourself therapist Miyume McKinley. “They directly
new fades faster than memories. So skip the “Self-expression involves impact our mood and it’s believed that these
shopping and go on a short break instead. engaging in an activity that levels are correlated with depression.”
allows us to transfer the energy harboured
8 14
in our thoughts and feelings into that practice,
Get appy such as through words by writing journals, Take a selfie
Taking note of how you feel daily poems or stories,” says neuroscientist Dr A study by researchers at
can give you a more positive frame Lynda Shaw. “Self-expression can also the University of California
of mind. The Daylio Journal app be depicted in the clothes we wear or asked students involved to
(free with in-app purchases, iOS and Android) the music we choose to listen to.” take a smiling selfie every day for four weeks
lets you track your mood using emojis. You and found they enjoyed a surge in happiness,
12
can also match your mood to daily activities and became more confident on camera. Don’t
and with the ‘Statistics and Calendar’ you can Connect worry, you don’t have to show them to anybody!
spot patterns in your moods and behaviour. with others
15
Aer the COVID-19 pandemic,
Dance with
9
we’re more aware about the
Fake a smile abandon
© Gey Images / Vectornation
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 27
LIFE AFTER BETRAYAL
Whether you’re
thinking about getting
back with your ex partner or
you’re ready to meet someone
new, here’s how to move
forward after infidelity
F
eeling hurt aer betrayal and navigate your feelings aer betrayal and find you want to be seen by others? Which
not sure how to move on? You’re happiness again – however that might look. outfits make you feel good about yourself?
not alone – in fact, cheating is Might a friend come and help you to
one of the top ten reasons why Managing the aftermath repaint a bedroom or clear out a kitchen,
couples split, with a recent Don’t rush into anything. “Give yourself time to kick-start the process of ‘New You’?
survey* revealing that 46% of people in a to get over whatever has come before the “Never underestimate the power of a
monogamous relationship admit to having split, whether it’s divorce or bereavement,” haircut! Also, don’t forget counsellors
affairs, causing stress and emotional upheaval says Barbara Bloomfield, Relate counsellor
for the wounded party. Still, 24% of married and relationship expert. “Make sure you
couples decide to stay together, enforcing
new rules for the relationship, such as sharing
are in a comfortable and confident enough
place before looking for a partner in later MOST COMMON
phone passwords, avoiding certain friends
and putting limitations on going out, to
life, because it can be really tricky. I suggest
that aer a split, you give yourself plenty of REASONS FOR
minimise the likelihood of further affairs.
But, whether you want to make your
time to heal and steady yourself. Then, when
you are ready, ask a trusted friend to spend a
CHEATING
relationship work, or you’re thinking about day with you, giving positive advice on your
leaving your partner and eventually strengths and how you present yourself.”
finding someone new, the fallout aer Of course, it has to be someone who WOMEN
infidelity can cause you to feel lost and really cares about you and who is positive, Feeling flaered by the aention
unsure how to move forward. Here, we rather than critical. Barbara suggests you
ask our relationship experts how you can consider the following questions: How do
(44%) and feeling emotionally
deprived in the relationship (43%).
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
LIFE AFTER BETRAYAL
Don’t be hasty
Thinking about getting back together? Don’t
rush into it. “I’m a great believer in couples
taking a short time apart if they can do this.
YOUR HEALING HANDBOOK It is an acknowledgement that they have
been unable to resolve their differences
and it’s time to reflect separately and cool
things down, and perhaps to see how
Follow these top tips from Eharmony’s relationship expert Rachael Lloyd
ALLOWYOURSELFTOGRIEVE
“When someone cheats on you, the relationship you thought you had with
them is effectively over. Your best memories with that person are tainted,
as a third party has invaded your emotional space. Don’t bole things up.
Even if you’re raging, remember that beneath anger is grief and if you
suppress it, the recovery process will be compromised.”
DON’TCOMPAREANDDESPAIR
“Comparing yourself to the person he or she cheated with, is
pointless. Because your confidence has been hammered, you’re
likely to put them on a pedestal and see them as far more desirable
than they really are. This isn’t a competition, and what you need
to focus on now is rebuilding your own sense of worth.”
NEVEROBSESSABOUTWHATHAPPENED
“Sometimes people who are cheated on want micro details
about exactly how, when and where the cheating took place. This
is oen an aempt to control and manage feelings, but it usually
leads to even more trapdoors opening. Step away!”
TALKITOUT
“Lean on your support network of good friends and family and
communicate whenever you need to. If you’re really struggling, see a
professional therapist or coach and get rock-solid back up.”
HEALYOURBODY
“Trauma has a profound effect on our bodies as well as our minds.
Therapies like EFT (emotional freedom technique), which involve tapping
on specific pressure points, can be hugely transformative as can regular
massage,” says Rachael. Try Nick and Jessica Ortner – The Tapping
Solution on YouTube. And exercise, such as Pilates, can help.
30 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
LIFE AFTER BETRAYAL
You might be wondering how you will know you’re ready to hit the dating scene again but there are some subtle
indicators. “You’ll stop comparing new matches with your ex,” says Rachael. “You’ll also have worked through much
of the anger, grief and baggage that is inevitable for anyone who’s been cheated on. My advice is once you feel
ready, ease into the dating scene gently. Approach each new date as an opportunity to meet someone new and have
refreshing conversations.” Take it slowly and follow these expert tips:
DOTHEWORK
“You need to make sure you’ve worked through the most dramatic feelings related to the betrayal before
leaping into something else,” says Rachael. “This takes time, it’s not an overnight job. I strongly recommend
you see a coach or therapist if you’re in any doubt about whether you’re ready to move on.”
BEHONEST
Once you start seeing someone new, be honest about any trust issues or lack of confidence you may be having.
“Make sure the new partner knows these issues are not about them. They’re historic things that you take
responsibility for, and are willing to work hard at resolving,” says Rachael. “As long as you try, and you show
them love and kindness, you can make it work.”
PUTYOURSELFOUTTHERE
There are plenty of ways to meet new people depending on your preference. Whether that’s through more
traditional ‘in real life’ means via socialising, or you want to sign up to a matchmaking service that will search
for you, or you find internet dating sites and apps more accessible – there’s something for everyone. Intrigued?
There are plenty of free dating sites out there. “The trick is to know what you are looking for,” says Dr Mason
Roantree. “I recommend you create a list of three to four values that are important to you, and three to four
deal-breakers, and use that as your guide to meet someone compatible.”
BEOPEN-MINDED
“Don’t limit yourself to transient aspects such as weight, age and wealth, or superficial markers such as height and
education, as they are likely to limit the pool of people you can date,” adds Dr Mason Roantree. “For example, just
because someone is slim or tall, doesn’t make them kind, trustworthy or respectful.”
FURTHERSUPPORT
For couples counselling in the UK, visit relate.org.uk or call 0300 100 1234 to find out about your local service and their
fees. You can also visit freepsychotherapynetwork.com to search for a low-cost therapist in your area.
If you’re in the US or Australia, visit beerhelp.com.
much you miss each other,” says Barbara. is the status of the affair? We believe it can any future repetition,” says Barbara. “I
“However, when children are involved, take up to two years to trust your partner suggest couples set aside ten minutes,
a physical split may not be right as it’s again, aer an affair has taken place.” twice a week. Make yourself comfortable,
important to put the children’s needs first.” Be careful not to fall into the trap of listen carefully to your partner for five
© Gey Images / Malte Mueller
‘forgetting’ what happened while being caught minutes without saying anything, even if
How to get over infidelity up in the thrill of reconciliation. This might you don’t agree. At the end of five minutes,
“If you and your partner have separated feel great in the moment, but will only cause swap and your partner will listen to you
due to an affair, and want to reunite, it’s these unresolved issues to pop up in the for five minutes. Don’t interrupt or try
important to think about why the affair future, and potentially cause more problems. to solve anything. Just listen! If you can
happened,” says Barbara. “What was not “Talking about what happened and trying understand their point of view, it’s the
working well in the relationship? And what to understand is a good basis for heading off greatest gi you can give your partner.”
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 31
*Health Testing Centers. ** YouGov survey.
THE CHAMELEON EFFECT
THE
EFFECT
Why do we mimic each other?
H
ave you ever been in mid- blends into the background to match any see if the chameleon effect worked in both
conversation with someone, environment’s colours, people acquire acquaintances and complete strangers.
when you look over and the behaviours of others to bring them The first of their experiments included
find them standing in closer together and help make their 78 people, who each spoke with an
the same position as you interactions smooth and well-received. experimenter. During three parts of the
or holding the same facial expression? test, Bargh and Chartrand studied whether
It may seem like they have consciously When was the chameleon participants would copy the actions of
copied you, but it is much more likely effect realised? someone they hadn’t met before – such
that this is the chameleon effect at play. Evidence that the chameleon effect was a as waggling the foot and touching the
The chameleon effect is the nonconscious real phenomenon was demonstrated in an face. The second experiment measured
mimicry of another person’s gestures experiment by psychologists John Bargh and the impact that copying someone has
or mannerisms. Just as a chameleon Tanya Chartrand in 1999. The duo wanted to on the person being mimicked.
32 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE CHAMELEON EFFECT
In the first stage, when gestures were is exposed to new vocabulary – you may The main reasons behind humans’
applied, participants increased their face begin to adopt a different accent to the social flexibility and mimicry are positive.
touching by 20% and their foot movement one you use daily. Similarly, if you spend However, too much of the chameleon effect
by 50%, while in conversation about enough time talking to someone who uses can be damaging. Some people carry this
a photograph with the experimenter. a particular word or phrase, it is easy to chameleon trait to the extreme, causing
The individuals weren’t aware of what unintentionally incorporate new phrases them to drastically change in different
they were being studied for, and the into your regular speech. Accidentally situations. When this happens, people
photograph was used as a distraction to developing the foreign accent of the person can lose their sense of self. Those who
ensure subconscious acts. The second you are talking to can come across as change their entire personalities in different
part of the experiment involved half of offensive and mocking, as many people groups oen go undetected. But more
the participants being mimicked, and then have never heard of the chameleon effect. common signs of the chameleon effect
rating the likeability of the experimenter. Couples and close friends are significant are easier to pinpoint. Next time you are in
The results showed that those who were targets for the power of the chameleon a social gathering, take a look around for
mimicked scored the experimenter higher. effect. Some happy couples, for example, subtle mirroring gestures, and you might
are described as being ‘made for each just see some chameleons for yourself.
Why do we do it? other’ as they seemingly live life in
Due to these mirrored movements being synchronisation. For most couples,
carried out without conscious thought, their similarities grow over the years.
researchers don’t have all the answers as
to why we create moments of symmetry.
By spending significant amounts of time
together during each day, couples develop
CHAMELEONS
However, studies such as this have
shown that when someone copies our
some of each other’s quirks and routines
until they both appear to be very similar AT WORK
behaviour, we develop more positive to an outsider. Meanwhile, those in the
feelings about them. These interactions couple are unlikely to notice much or any
could be a person subconsciously change in their persona, themselves.
willing to be liked, and forming a Your own signs of the chameleon effect When working in a job, most
moment of connection and empathy. may go unnoticed, but some celebrities in
To understand the empathetic theory of the public eye can’t escape this awareness
people mimic the behaviour of
the chameleon effect, consider how you and are frequently called out for their people in the workplace in some
would respond in a situation where your changing behaviours. One example can way, whether consciously or not.
close friend tells you they have just passed be heard in the video of English football This is because, in general, many
an exam they had been really worried player Joey Barton being interviewed in a people like to keep their work
about. If your friend tells you the news in an French accent that went viral in 2012. This
and social life relatively separate.
excitable and happy manner, the chances wasn’t because of what he said, but because
are you respond in a similar tone. This is he had only lived in France for a matter of For others, there is a certain
because it is part of human nature to share months. The football player had recently persona that they believe they
feelings and navigate through life with been signed to play for Marseille, and had need to achieve to progress in
companions. Most people want to share been living there for the season. As he their profession.
in the happiness of their friends or show answered questions at the press conference One study, carried out by
others that they want the same outcomes. in France, his Scouse English accent was
Another theory about why the chameleon swapped for French pronunciations.
psychologists at the University
effect exists is as an adapted survival trait. The accent wasn’t put on to allow the of Cambridge, found that most
Being able to fit in with those around you, French audience to better understand him, people felt they had to suppress
and being accepted into a group means that as he was speaking to his French translator. some aspect of their personality
there are others who can have your back In an interview later on, he explained at work to appear professional.
when under threat. In modern life, the brain that he had no idea that was how he was
Of those who did this, introverted
may react similarly when moving abroad speaking at the time, but came to realise
or into another new group. Because those it around 15 minutes into the interview. people found it easier than
who live in the same country or community According to psychologists, when the extraverted people. The study
usually share the same behaviour, traits, chameleon effect occurs to you during concluded that extraverts felt
knowledge and attitude, it is natural for time in a country that speaks a more stressed and exhausted
outsiders to initially feel vulnerable. different language, self-consciousness by fiing in to the tone of their
is heightened. Those who actively
Chameleon talk worry about fitting in and not being
jobs. Psychologists think this
In some instances, the chameleon effect able to communicate are most likely to may be because there are more
targets speech. As your brain processes a subconsciously develop new accents opportunities for introverts to
strong new accent during conversation – or and mannerisms in a foreign country. return to their true selves at
© Shuerstock / Kosinskaya Tatyana
M
any of us in developed
societies live in a fast-paced,
oen mind-blowing world
of high-tech innovation,
far-flung travel and virtual
reality. We are generally safe, have access
to healthcare, education and food. Yet if
our basic needs are threatened, our human
instincts will kick in to restore balance.
How oen are we encouraged to ‘follow
your gut’ or ‘trust your instinct’? What
does this really mean? Over the centuries,
The modern world biologists, psychologists and other branches
of scientific thinking have struggled to
presents many agree on a definition, and human instinct
remains a complex construct that we
challenges, yet are still trying to comprehend.
According to the website study.com
study.com,,
amongst all the “Instinctive behaviours are critical for survival
for all animal species. They are not skills
busyness, our basic that can be taught or learned. Instinct is
defined as an unlearned behaviour that is
human instincts inborn, developed through evolution and
shared by all the members of a species.”
remain constant Reflex and instinct are close relations – with
reflex being the automatic response to an
34
HUMAN INSTINCT 101
external stimulus, such as blinking when a fly unlearned, genetically determined that encompasses self-preservation. He
goes in your eye, or the Moro response, which behaviour pattern. We lose some of our explains that at the most basic human
is the reflex of a baby startled by a loud noise. human instincts as we age, such as the level we need air, water, food, shelter,
rooting instinct when babies feed. sleep, clothing and reproduction.
The history of instinct
The ancient Greek philosopher Hippocrates What are the key human instincts? Sexual instinct
described instinct as “the nature of animals The three basic human instincts In the biological sense, sexual instinct
which is untutored.” In the 18th century, that drive human behaviour are: is the idea that organisms seek sexual
new theories emerged saying that all relations as an instinctive compulsion to
behaviours come from ideas and intelligence, SELF-PRESERVATION reproduce. On the other hand, 19th-century
and some behaviours eventually become Safety, food and water, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer
habits. In 1859, Charles Darwin wrote a shelter, health thought sexual instincts comprised a
chapter on instincts in his seminal work – part of what he called human will.
On the Origins of Species.
Species. In line with this SEXUALINSTINCT The psychologist Sigmund Freud
treatise, the early 20th-century behavioural Reproduction, seeking a mate tried to understand how sexual instinct
psychologists discounted the idea of – relates to the mental and emotional
human instinct. Behaviourists believed the SOCIALINSTINCT mechanisms governing human behaviour.
mind to be a blank slate with no inherited Forming secure social bonds
knowledge or instinctive behaviour. and relationships with others Social instinct
Mainstream thinking now defines human The pandemic and lockdowns exposed us
instinct as a stereotyped, apparently Self-preservation to the oen painful and damaging effects of
Without self-preservation we cannot fulfil not being able to fulfil our social instincts.
the other basic human instincts. Humans Humans need community and contact to
need to feel safe and secure, free from survive and thrive. Isolation is used as a
threat. Once security is established, we form of torture, and psychologists warn that
can go out and seek food and water. loneliness can lead to depression and anxiety.
At the base of Maslow’s hierarchy Dr Marianne Trent, clinical psychologist
of needs is the physiological grouping and creator of The Feel Better Academy,
Without self-preservation
we cannot fulfil the other
basic human instincts
COMPASSION AS
A HUMAN INSTINCT
36 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
HUMAN INSTINCT 101
Debate
abounds as
to whether
language is a
human instinct
or a learned
behaviour
something disgusting, for self-preservation.
As a parent of a new baby we have to
overcome disgust to change nappies,
or if you recall a time where you ate or
drank something which made you sick
– your instinct is to avoid it next time.
Your instinct is keeping you safe, but
suggests that we have been raised as difference between us and our chimp-like
social beings, schooled to be social and to ancestors is in cooperativeness, as we’re
acknowledge people when we see them, way more cooperative than they were,” says
and therefore it is unclear whether being Professor von Hippel. “Our cultural evolution
social is an instinct or a learned behaviour. over the last few hundred or thousand years,
“People on the autistic spectrum oen and the advent of cities 5,000 years ago, has
report that they don’t feel the same social slowly taught us to live with greater tolerance
pressure or instinct to acknowledge people.” in a world of strangers without resorting
“Embedded in our social instinct, humans to violence to resolve our differences or
are instinctively cooperative, kind and as a way of competing with each other.”
loving, but also violent, prejudicial and Debate abounds as to whether language
aggressive,” explains Professor von Hippel, is an innate human instinct or a learned
professor of social psychology at the behaviour. In his 1994 book The Language
University of Queensland and author of Instinct,, psychologist Steven Pinker
Instinct
The Social Leap.
Leap. “Different circumstances argues that children are born with a
lead to these two very different types of genetic instinct for speech whereas the
reactions. At a general level we can say that theory of learning suggested by the 20th-
being with members of one’s own group, century Austrian-English philosopher
kin, or romantic and coalition partners Karl Popper is that we are born knowing
tends to lead to the former, and being with nothing, but able to learn everything.
members of other groups, competitors or
people who are viewed as a threat to the Can we override our instincts?
ingroup or family tends to lead to the latter.” “We can override any and all instincts, and
some people refer to the process whereby we
Do we have the same instincts and do so as free will,” says Professor von Hippel.
behaviours as our ancestors? Marianne Trent explains that we oen
“Human biological evolution over the last few overpower our instincts in everyday
million years means that today the biggest situations. “Take the instinct to avoid
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 37
HEALING WITH REIKI
WITH
Open your mind to this healing
hands practice and reap the benefits
in mind, body and spirit
38 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
HEALING WITH REIKI
T
he modern world can feel for its growing popularity. It can be used treatment, which can make people feel more
constantly busy, overwhelming for adults, children and even animals. comfortable. Usually the treatment is given
and suffocating. It’s no wonder, Reiki doesn’t just treat physical ailments; lying down, and you should be asked if you
then, that so many of us it’s a whole-person therapy. This means prefer the treatment to be performed with
are turning to practices like that those who have had Reiki might feel a light touch or no touch at all. During the
meditation and gratitude in the hope of better in both mind and body, with more treatment you may enter a calm, meditative
finding peace, relaxation and relief. We’re balanced emotions and an overall feeling state – some people even fall asleep.
searching for a balm to soothe our souls of wellbeing. As a therapy, it’s gaining some A Reiki practitioner will use a series
aer another draining day of juggling interesting traction as a complement to of standard hand positions, which are
work, family and daily life. Maybe the conventional procedures and medications. designed to balance the energy in your
answer lies in Reiki, a Japanese technique It’s oen offered to those who have been body in that area and deal with any
that promises to restore your life energy through cancer treatment, for example, ‘blockages’. In most sessions, all the hand
and promote healing and wellbeing. as it’s safe and can help relieve feelings positions will be covered to treat the
Reiki is a spiritual practice, but it’s not of worry, stress and anxiety, as well as whole body, but the practitioner may
associated with any one religion or belief li fatigue and boost energy levels. spend longer in some areas than others
system. It’s about balancing the natural ‘life One review study looked at a number if they sense that work is needed. You
energy’ – ‘Rei’ meaning ‘Universal Life’ and of existing clinical trials into the impact can also request that certain areas are
‘Ki’ meaning ‘Energy’ – that flows through of Reiki, entitled ‘Reiki Is Better Than worked on for longer – communication
all living things. Its modern roots are only Placebo and Has Broad Potential as a is key when it comes to creating that
around 100 years old, through a system Complementary Health Therapy’ (PMID: all-important sense of connection.
founded by Dr Mikao Usui. Dr Usui spent time 28874060). The study concluded that, Aer the treatment, you’re likely to
studying in a Buddhist monastery and had “Viewed collectively, these studies provide feel somewhat blissed out – ideally you
a deep interest in medicine and psychology. reasonably strong support for Reiki being would go home and rest, and enjoy the
During his travels, he studied different healing more effective than placebo. From the sensation, rather than rushing straight
systems and ancient Sanskrit symbols, information currently available, Reiki is a back into real life. You may also need
which led him on a journey of self-discovery. safe and gentle ‘complementary’ therapy to drink plenty of water, as the energy
Bringing together everything he had learned, that activates the parasympathetic nervous flows faster around your body.
Dr Usui developed ‘Usui Reiki’ and opened system to heal body and mind. It has It might all sound a bit ‘woo-woo’, but
his first clinic offering the practice in 1922. potential for broader use in management evidence of the effectiveness of Reiki is
However, the principles of Reiki and its of chronic health conditions, and rising. In any case, when life gets a little
healing powers are thought to date back possibly in postoperative recovery.” too much, there is no harm in trying. The
around 2,500 years. In the last century, That said, having an open mind is key to chance to relax in a calm environment and
Reiki has developed and grown, splintering the effectiveness of this type of treatment. switch off a busy mind can be incredibly
off into many different types and styles. Reiki works best when there is a connection powerful for healing, in and of itself. But if
The original Reiki taught by Dr Usui at between the practitioner and the patient. you let your mind open to the possibility,
his clinic, ‘Usui Shiki Ryoho’, is a very pure There is no need to undress for this type of Reiki could give you so much more.
and spiritual form of Reiki that has been
passed down a very specific lineage, from
master to practitioner, starting with Dr Usui
himself. Many modern versions now exist,
with a number of different origins, such as
Gendai Reiki Ho, founded by Hiroshi Doi
USE REIKI FOR SELF-HEALING
in 1993, or Reiki Plus founded by David
Jarrell. However, if you head to your local
treatment centre, it might not always be
obvious which lineage or system is used, True Reiki can only be performed by a person who has completed Reiki
with the treatment simply listed as ‘Reiki’. training, and to get the most out of it, it’s worth investing in a few sessions.
At the core of all Reiki treatments is the However, you can take some of the principles of Reiki home with you and
base principle of flowing energy from the perform on yourself to enhance the benefits and make the wellbeing boost
practitioner to the patient in order to promote
healing. This energy transfer comes through
last a lile longer. It starts with a calm, quiet environment where you won’t
the hands, gently placed on the body or be disturbed, and a comfortable place to rest – lying down is best, or a
close to it. The practitioner then seeks chair is fine if that suits. You may prefer silence, or some gentle ambient
areas that feel low in energy, helping to flow music. You can then perform some hand positions on yourself to help flow
© Gey Images / Use Create Enjoy
positive energy into these areas and cleanse your energy through your body. Usually you start with your eyes, your head,
negative energy. The idea is that when we
your chest, your ribs, your stomach, your back and your legs/feet. Each
have low life force energy, we feel unwell,
stressed or tense and might get poorly more time, you rest your hands in the area, focusing your aention on it and
oen; when we have high levels of life force feeling energy flood into the region. This practice can be combined with
energy, we instead feel invigorated, happy meditation and gratitude for enhanced self-healing.
and healthy. It’s a simple treatment that is
safe for everyone, which is part of the reason
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 39
YOU CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING
40 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOU CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING
A
2020 study revealed that we and let the other pebbles on the beach jostle
humans have a staggering us and rub against us and wear us down,
6,200 thoughts per day*. our sharp edges will slowly but surely fade.” BJÖRNNATTHIKO
But being able to let go of at LINDEBLAD
3
least some of these helps Swedish public speaker and
us to reduce anxiety and stress, making Accept you meditation teacher Björn Nahiko
our lives feel lighter and less complicated. may be wrong Lindeblad spent 17 years as a
It can cause suffering if you hold
Buddhist monk in Thailand, England
1
too tightly to fixed thoughts,
Listen to your beliefs or opinions. They may stop you and Switzerland. He is the author
inner wisdom from moving forward when you want to of I May Be Wrong: And Other
Learning to listen to yourself, to make a change in your life, or means you Wisdoms from Life as a Forest
your innate voice of inner wisdom don’t truly listen to someone else in the
Monk (Bloomsbury, £16.99 ($19.65)).
or intuition, is a valuable life tool. Björn middle of a disagreement. Being able to
calls it “the intelligence of the moment” let go of a thought or opinion, even if you
and describes it as a finely honed, quiet believe it to be right, can be liberating.
compass inside you. Other voices may DO IT A wise senior monk shared a Björn witnessed his own ‘should’ thoughts
get in the way of your inner wisdom, valuable mantra with Björn 20 years ago, when he joined a new monastery, which
such as when you seek advice from which has helped him to let go ever since. to him was rather disorganised, where
others. Your ego has a voice too – “It oen The mantra is: ‘I may be wrong. I may be “things weren’t done in a proper way.”
drowns out everything else with its noisy wrong. I may be wrong’. The next time DO IT Practise Björn’s simple hand
demands,” says Björn. These extra voices you sense a conflict brewing, repeat this movement to let go of ‘should’ thoughts:
shut off access to your own intelligence. mantra to let go of fixed thoughts and “Clench your fist really hard and then let
DO IT Create moments of stillness to to become more open to other ideas. it unfold into an open hand. It’s a good
allow your inner wisdom to speak up. illustration of how we can let go of things we
4
Choose a quiet room and pick a time cling to too hard, like feelings or convictions.”
Leave room
6
when you won’t be distracted. Björn
advises tracking your breathing to for miracles Balance control
find stillness. Follow each inhale, each When you think about the with trust
exhale and any pauses in between. future, your mind might spiral The phrase ‘trust the universe’
2
into unhelpful negative thought patterns, holds wisdom – it not only
Practise especially if you have a tendency to imagine encourages positive thinking, but it also
empathy worst-case scenarios. For example, if an helps you to relinquish control. While
You may be annoyed by people’s investment goes south, you might think Björn says there is a place for control in
behaviour or have opinions you’ll never recoup the loss. But just because certain circumstances, such as organising
about how they should or shouldn’t be, one unwelcome thing happens, it does not your taxes or choosing childcare, there’s
but developing empathy will allow you mean another will follow. “Loosening our value in learning to trust, especially if some
to let go of unhelpful thoughts. Björn grip on these types of convictions is a sign aspects of life are outside of your control.
lived closely with many different people of wisdom,” says Björn. “Trying to direct and “My guiding star on my journey back
and all their quirks throughout his predict everything just makes life hard.” to work was trust,” says Björn who had
monastic journey. “It’s only human to find DO IT Leave room for miracles to happen, to navigate re-entry into ‘normal’ life and
other people annoying. But it can be an advises Björn. Don’t overpack your diary to find a job aer 17 years as a monk.
unnecessary drain on your resources,” ensure you have a little time and space each DO IT “Trying to control everything
he says. Accepting others, just as they are, day to ‘just be’. A valuable idea or wondrous makes life lonely, tough, fraught and
makes life easier and relaxes you both. thought could come at such a moment. anxious. Trust life a bit more!” says Björn.
The same goes when you feel accepted, Ask yourself if trust or control is best for
5
just as you are; you feel welcome, without you in a certain situation – perhaps a
judgement, and are able to move forward Let go of balance of both is required. You can
with all of your strengths and talents. ‘should’ plan a holiday, but you may have
DO IT To build empathy for other people, Over time, you develop ideas to trust that you will enjoy it.
Björn suggests visualising yourself and on how things should be, how
everyone around you as pebbles on a beach. tasks should be done, or how people
“When we get to the beach, we’re all rough should behave. This mindset reduces
and jagged pebbles. Then the waves of life your flexibility and narrows the chance
roll in. And if we can find it in us to stay there of you learning something new.
Create moments of
© Gey Images / dane_mark
42 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MASTERCLASS
YOUR
D
espite a staggering one
in four people in the UK
experiencing a mental health
problem each year, the
invisible nature of it means
there’s oen a tendency to ignore problems
and just get on with it. But, as Stephen
Buckley, head of information at mental
health charity Mind, says, “Mental health
is just like our physical health: everybody
has it and we need to take care of it.”
He adds, “Thankfully, we’ve seen the
national conversation on mental health
move forward, but those with mental
health problems still face barriers.” The
topic remains taboo, especially for older
YOUOVER-DRAMATISE
Does your mood and energy dip in the winter months? SAD is a SMALLFAILURES
mood disorder or depression that comes and goes in a seasonal “There’s a catastrophising
paern. Symptoms, including a persistent low mood, anxiety, loss of nature to anxiety that makes
interest in everyday activities, irritability, feeling lethargic, sleeping you perceive things being
for longer, craving carbs and gaining weight, are more apparent much worse than they actually
during winter. What helps? When it comes to SAD, “the same rules are,” says Nicky. If you’re
overdramatic, you may have an
apply as to general depression,” says Dr Jeff Foster (drjeoster. over-the-top reaction to a small
co.uk). He suggests exercise, a healthy diet, reducing alcohol intake, failing, which could lead to a
socialising and keeping mentally active as ways to reduce symptoms, meltdown or cause you to stay
as well as geing outside as much as you can during daylight hours. at home for the next few days,
unable to face the world.
–
44 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MASTERCLASS
YOU’RECRITICALOF
YOURSELFANDOTHERS
“Being anxious leads to you
being hard on yourself. It thrives
on the lack of self-esteem you
have for yourself and, as a result,
you become self-critical and
critical of those around
you,” says Nicky.
–
YOUCAN’TSLEEP
When we’re in an anxious state,
it can be hard for our body
and mind to relax, and we can
have trouble sleeping, which can
lead to bouts of insomnia.
–
YOU’REDISTRACTED
“We may be preoccupied with
our thoughts and easily
distracted,” says Nicky.
Experiencing racing thoughts
is common with anxiety, but
this attention to the ‘inner
dialogue’ can result in others
perceiving us as distant.
–
Being anxious
thrives on the lack of
self-esteem you have
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MASTERCLASS
trying to hide
symptoms from
others can impact
physical health
YOU’REUNWILLING
TOMAKEFRIENDS
Opening yourself up emotionally
can make you feel vulnerable and
exposed. You may already be
imagining losing that friendship
before it’s even started. “Anxiety
may isolate us by way of
protecting ourselves from
unknown territory,”
says Nicky.
–
YOUFEELUNWELL
Constant anxiety has
a big effect on the
immune system, and trying
to hide symptoms from others can
impact physical health. “Anxiety
can make us fatigued and even
sick. Plus, adrenaline released can
have a negative impact on our
stomachs, as well as other parts
of the body,” explains Nicky.
SHORTCUTS
TO SERENITY
These quick tips can help, so make
sure you practise them daily:
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MASTERCLASS
© Gey Images / Rudzhan Nagiev / miakievy / invincible_bulldog / everything bagel / Olga Tsareva / Aleksei Naumov / dar woto
‘No, because...’ quietly and firmly.
– breathe out through the mouth slowly for five seconds.
Before always saying ‘yes’ to
demands, take a deep breath, so USEADISTRACTIONTECHNIQUE
you can touch base with yourself
to discover what you would Try the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique – acknowledge five things you can see, four
truly, honestly prefer to do. things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you
– can smell, and finally one deep breath in and out.
Have a list of useful apps that
benefit your mental health. Try
Headspace, Stress & Anxiety TRYPOSITIVEAFFIRMATIONS
Companion, and Catch It. Tell yourself, ‘I am safe, I am in control, this feeling is anxiety’, and
– repeat until you feel more in control of your feelings.
Don’t aim too high. Set a goal
you know you can achieve, then
achieve it. You’ll feel good. Now MAKEDIETARYCHANGES
set another and achieve that. Small changes to your diet can make a difference to anxiety
Soon you’ll be setting bigger symptoms. Try eating less processed food, drinking less alcohol,
goals and achieving those, too.
– and cuing back or stopping caffeine. Don’t forget that caffeine
Visualise yourself at your most can be present in chocolate and so drinks, too.
confident, then link this feeling to
a physical action, such as pinching
your thumb and forefinger together. GETENOUGHSLEEP
Next time you need to feel confident Maintain a regular sleeping paern by going to bed at the same time
in a situation, pinch your thumb each night, switching off screens at least one hour before bedtime, and
and finger together to get back ensuring your bedroom is dark and the right temperature.
to that positive mental state.
–
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 47
LEARNING TO TRUST
TO
Trust is a powerful emotion that
builds relationships and connections,
but our lived experiences feed into
our ability to trust
T
rust is a key part of good relationships
and friendships, yet it doesn’t come
as easily to some of us as it does
to others. It’s hard to define what
trust is. Sure, there is the dictionary
definition – ‘a firm belief in the reliability, truth or
ability of someone or something’ – but real trust is
far less tangible than that. Our ability to trust in the
people around us is influenced by our experiences,
our past, our instincts and our personality.
Trust is something that is at the heart of our
daily life in many ways. We have to put our trust
in people at work, when commuting, for our
medical health and so on. Every time you order a
taxi, you’re putting your trust in the driver to get
you safely from A to B. When you hire someone
to deliver a service (a tradesperson, for example,
or a babysitter), you have to trust that they will
do a good job. When you have a confidential
business conversation with a new client, you
need to trust that they won’t pass knowledge on.
You need to have trust in medical professionals,
government bodies and employers to have your
best interests at heart. Trust is a thread that runs
through all our connections, from the closest
relationships to people we meet only fleetingly.
When trust is broken, it can be hard to
restore, and it can influence how
we trust in the future.
48 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
LEARNING TO TRUST
possibilities. Trust is more than a feeling; and values, rather than being influenced If your inability to trust comes from a
significant past trauma, you may need
professional help to move forward. Talking
influenced by our experiences give you the support you need to move
forward, helping you to learn to trust again.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 49
*Kosfeld, M., Heinrichs, M., Zak, P. et al. Oxytocin increases trust in humans. Nature 435, 673–676 (2005)
THE IMPACT OF LIVING LIFE ONLINE
50 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE IMPACT OF LIVING LIFE ONLINE
IMPACT OF
THE
LIVING LIFE
WORDS JO DUNBAR
W
e might be fully grown Dr Peter Gallagher is a senior lecturer in
adults, but our brains neuropsychology at Newcastle University.
never stop changing He explains, “The brain is a very plastic,
or developing adaptable thing. It’s going through changes
in response to all the time – connections are constantly
our experiences. So, it stands to reason made and pruned. That’s
That’s how our memories
that the matter of living through a are formed, by making and breaking
pandemic – with all of its emotional, connections. It’s a very dynamic organ.”
social and practical implications – will So, although we did far less back in
have had an impact on our brains. 2020 than our normal lives would usually
living through
a pandemic will
have had an impact
on our brains
51
THE IMPACT OF LIVING LIFE ONLINE
Along with feeling out of practice when it came to rudimentary chaer, many of us experienced feeling at a loss for
words. Experts believe that a side effect of lockdown-living affected our concentration skills, so although we felt as
though we had far less going on in our lives, our heads were buzzing with plenty of thoughts.
For example, while our social lives and friendship circles were much smaller during the various lockdowns, the very act
of living in a modern pandemic put strain on our brains, hence feeling as if we were grasping for words that were on the
tip of the tongue. Dr Clara Russell, a GP who has launched her own brain-health supplement company, Noggin, tells us
that being constantly distracted is a key factor in our inability to focus and remember day-to-day facts. “Combining this
with the repetitive nature of life under lockdown, without clear schedules or routines, it can make it very hard to tell one
day from the next – unless, of course, it is bin day.”
So, while our physical worlds shrunk considerably, our worries multiplied. Whether you experienced concerns over
juggling working from home, spending extended periods of time staring at a screen combined with possible financial
worries, or having to engage in home learning for children alongside your job, freing about the children and teens in
the family, dealing with concerns for older relatives, coping with any added relationship strains magnified by lockdown,
or you were simply worried for your own health and on edge with each news alert, it meant our brains were constantly
mulling over several stressful situations at once, on a continuous loop.
And as many of us have experienced, so many balls in the air and worries on our minds can be prey debilitating, not
to mention extremely distracting. Dr Russell agrees. “All these factors can also contribute to chronic stress, which can
impact our short-term memory.”
While the greater issue of the pandemic was out of our control, there were actions we could take to improve our
aention spans. Dr Russell suggested simple mindfulness exercises, which “can remind us how to pay aention, as can
adopting a regular meditation practice.” It was also recommended that families played memory games together to
improve verbal fluency, which could help us grab on to those elusive words.
have dictated, our brains continued can change things in the brain. Cortisol, because our memories weren’t forming as
to react and reshape according to sometimes called the stress hormone, is they usually would. The circumstances of
what we were doing. Even doing the one of these chemicals and it reacts to lockdown affected the brain’s ability to make
majority of our communicating on stress. So, if we are chronically worried, our and store memories, basically because we
apps like Zoom changed our brains. cortisol levels are probably higher than they hadn’t done anything different for such a
“Every experience we go through causes would be if things weren’t like this. We need long period of time. During the pandemic,
some degree of change within the brain,” cortisol to make memories, but if levels are Dr Gallagher explained, “Ordinarily, you
adds Dr Gallagher. “There are millions and too low or high, that can cause problems might have a fixed routine Monday to Friday,
millions of connections and they alter in for memory, and also affect our mood.” but your week is punctuated with events,
response to our experiences. What we whether it’s seeing friends or going to the gym
went through during the pandemic was – Making memories or taking a different route to work. Every day
depending on the individual – a period of If you found you struggled to stay motivated is a bit different and those rich experiences
low or high stress. Stress elevates certain or focused during the pandemic, or found allow us to remember things better. By being
chemicals in the body, and those chemicals your days all blurring into one, that’s in the same four walls, week in week out,
many of
us were
missing out
on the bonding
experiences of
small talk
we’re losing that richness, which is why the
days feel as though they blend into one.”
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 53
SET YOURSELF FREE OF THE PAST
54 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
SET YOURSELF FREE OF THE PAST
W
e can all relate to not good/slim/clever enough; that we’re chopping wood, flopping forwards from your
Freddie Mercury a bad parent/partner/child/employee. waist and releasing a loud ‘Aah!’ as you do so.
blasting out ‘I Want Psychologists call them Automatic Negative
to Break Free’ – deep Thoughts (ANTs), and acknowledging and Learn to be an imperfectionist
down, who doesn’t challenging them can be very helpful. Perfection is impossible for any human, yet
want to shake off their shackles and soar For example, imagine yourself rushing we all fall into the trap of seeking it. Who in all
towards a world with no limits? But somehow and spilling tea on the carpet. You berate honesty can claim to have the ideal work-life-
it just isn’t that easy. We put it down to our yourself: ‘I get everything wrong!’ Now take love balance, a dust-free home and
past, other people or circumstances, but that thought to court. Where is the evidence A* children with sparkling teeth? Aiming
the truth is, all that’s holding us back is the that that statement is true? Isn’t it fairer to for it and inevitably failing can lead us
voice inside our own head. Happily, we have say you don’t generally drop drinks? The to feeling worthless and too scared to
the power to shut that nagging old parrot verdict is, we all slip up, especially when try anything, in case we don’t excel.
up, and listen to something much kinder we’re stressed, and the simple learning is Do it Embrace the Japanese concept
instead. Follow these ideas to make a start. to give ourselves more time in future. of ‘wabi-sabi’, which finds beauty in the
Do it When an ANT invades your head, seemingly imperfect. Your child may be
Stop sabotaging yourself Emily Bradley (founder of the blog struggling at school, but they have so much
Do you sometimes feel you’re your own imperfectdivablog.wordpress.com) suggests else to give and be celebrated for. As a singer,
worst enemy? Perhaps you buy that bag trying the STOP technique. Stop. Take a Emily Bradley urges imperfectionists to
you can’t really afford, eat doughnuts breath (a deep one – five counts in, five create a ‘blooper reel’ (imaginary, written
aer a workout at the gym, wake up out). Observe how you’re feeling. Then down or recorded), as a celebration of
hungover before a job interview, or put off notice how the world is still spinning. our off-notes or banana-slip moments,
saying yes to a potentially exciting date. without which we’d learn nothing.
Coach Kim Morgan (barefootcoaching. Forgive to flourish
co.uk) says it’s self-sabotaging behaviour During Nelson Mandela’s 27 years in prison, Stop worrying about what ‘they’ will say
and many people use it in a misguided he wrote, ‘To be free is not merely to cast One of the most undermining forces we face
attempt to protect themselves from off one’s chains, but to live in a way that is the fear of what other people might think
difficult experiences and emotions. The respects and enhances the freedom of of us. Who we really are gets drowned out if
way through is to understand what drives others’. He forgave his captors. We can’t all be we obsess over what ‘they’ will say. Imagine
your behaviour. You may feel deep down Nobel Peace Prize-winners, but we can cut you’re at a vintage market stall and fall in love
that you don’t deserve that fulfilling job, off the oxygen supply to old demons and with a wacky hat or some funky purple boots.
healthy body or loving relationship. watch them fade away. To heal, you need to You hanker aer them, but find yourself
Do it Write down examples of happy release the emotion in whatever way it takes, wondering what your friends would think,
relationships in your life past or present, whether that’s yelling, crying or bashing a or your neighbour, or the person who works
© Gey Images / Angelina Bambina
work successes, or times you’ve felt good pillow. Next, try to understand why someone in your local shop. Check yourself. Would
about the way you look. It’s the first step to acted as they did. Compassion heals wounds. you judge others so harshly? No. So don’t be
turning negative beliefs ‘positive’, which, Do it Combining mind and body can release stifled. What’s the worst that can happen?
in time, leads to stronger self-belief. emotional blockers, says psychologist Nina Do it If you’ve always wanted to join a
Dhiman. Do ‘the woodchopper’. Standing street protest or wanted a bright pink car, go
Get rid of pesky ANTs with your legs apart, put your hands together for it. As Emily Bradley suggests, ‘Chances
We all have those annoying earworms above your head (this is your axe). Inhale. As are, the people whose judgement you’re
with a harsh, critical voice that tell us we’re you exhale, bring your arms down fast, as if so worried about won’t turn a hair.’
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 55
INTO THE BLACK
THE
S
uicide is common. Too common. complete data, suicide ranked as the 15th
The World Health Organization most common cause of death around
(WHO) estimates that close to the world. Nearly twice as many people
800,000 people die by suicide died from suicide as from homicide. It is
each year. Every 40 seconds, a worldwide phenomenon but there are
someone in the world ends their own life. significant differences in the rates of suicide
The pain that suicide leaves in its aermath between countries. The highest suicide rate
throws a dark cloud upon the world: a 2018 was in Lesotho, at 87.5 deaths per 100,000
study by Julie Cerel showed that, on average, people in 2019, while at the other end of
each person who dies by suicide will have the scale the lowest rate of suicide, just 0.3
known 135 people. So, apart from the pain per 100,000 people, was recorded in the
that leads to 800,000 people taking their Caribbean countries Barbados, and Antigua
own lives each year, the aermath of suicide and Barbuda. In terms of the share of deaths
will affect a further 108,000,000 people. overall, 4.5% of deaths in South Korea were
by suicide, while curiously Syria had the
The dark numbers lowest share of deaths by suicide in 2019 at
In 2019, the last year for which we have only 0.38%. This last statistic highlights the
56 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
INTO THE BLACK
rates of
suicide increase
markedly as people
get older
fact that global suicide statistics probably
under report how many people take their
own lives each year. Suicide remains illegal
in at least 20 countries, while in a much
larger number it retains a major social
stigma, leading to an understandable
desire on the part of families and coroners
to ascribe death to some other cause.
One good number, however, was clear
evidence that, worldwide, the rates of
suicide in most countries had fallen
between 1990 and 2017, with particular
improvements in Sri Lanka (where rates fell
from 43 per 100,000 in 1990 to 19 per
100,000 in 2017) and Hungary (a reduction
from 34 to 14 deaths per 100,000). South
Korea, on the other hand, saw a marked
worsening of their suicide statistics over
this period, from 12 to 20 people per
100,000. What we do not know, as yet, is
the impact that the events of the Covid
pandemic and the economic misery caused
by governments’ reactions to the disease,
will have on worldwide suicide rates.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 57
INTO THE BLACK
58 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
INTO THE BLACK
gene’ but rather that there can be a genetic it is true that most people who kill themselves
predisposition towards the risk factors that do not give their reasons, careful study of the
make suicide a more likely outcome when messages le by those who did shows that FOR THOSE
situations become intolerably stressful. more than 90% of them were experiencing a
Speaking of societal pressures, research level of psychological pain and distress that COPING WITH THE
has shown that social isolation is another they could no longer endure and that killing
risk factor among the constellation of themselves to make the pain stop had come AFTERMATH
causes around suicide. Loneliness is a
direct cause of lower life expectancies for
to seem a final and permanent solution.
From this, it’s important for those
OF SUICIDE
a whole range of reasons, as lonely people le behind to realise that the person
suffer from worse health than people who they have lost did not want to die:
have a wide range of social connections. they just wanted the pain to end.
Alongside loneliness, the experience of In helping people struggling to
childhood trauma also leaves people more Tunnel vision and being trapped cope in the wake of a loved
vulnerable to suicide. The trauma can have Further analysis of suicide notes, and one’s suicide, these points are
been experienced in a variety of ways, interviews with people who have survived
worth bearing in mind:
from neglect through to outright abuse, but suicide attempts, indicates another key
the common factor is that a happy, secure finding. In the weeks and days, sometimes
childhood is a protective shield against the just the hours and minutes, leading to a People are unique and each
whole range of adult mental health and suicide attempt the focus of the person person’s grief is unique, too.
behavioural problems, including suicide. staring into the dark has narrowed. One
of the key early researchers on suicide, Don’t tell someone what they
Why did they do it? Edwin Shneidman, said that suicide should be feeling.
Why? It is the question that torments represented a permanent solution to what
those le behind. Why did he or she do it? were usually temporary difficulties. But
People will go through their
Why did they kill themselves? Sometimes the problem is that for the person on the grief in different ways – don’t try
people do leave a letter giving their brink, all they can see is that one way out. to force them into the six stages
reasons but, contrary to popular thought, An underappreciated but important of grieving model.
less than a third of the people who kill contributory factor to this tunnel vision
themselves leave behind any message phenomenon that leaves the sufferer It’s not just immediate family
to say why they did it. Most of the time, feeling completely trapped is lack of sleep. who can be deeply affected by
their bereaved family and friends are le The vast majority of people suffering from a suicide, but friends and even
searching through memories and hints, suicidal thoughts report difficulty in sleeping. apparently quite distant colleagues
trying to find some sort of reason why. We know that lack of sleep and poor- – allow them to grieve, too.
On the surface of it, the answer would quality sleep both affect people’s cognitive
seem to be that people kill themselves processes, making it that much harder to find In the aermath of suicide,
because they want to die. But research solutions to the problems they are facing. people’s feelings can switch from
has shown quite clearly that in the great They are trapped. The debilitating overwhelming to times of relative
majority of cases this is not true. People kill consequences of being trapped and unable calm and back again.
themselves to make the pain stop. Their
vision has become so narrowed that death Grief is unpredictable. Its intensity
has come to seem the only possible way to will change without warning in
take the pain away. They are trapped and the days, weeks, months and
suicide appears to be the only way out. years aerwards.
This experience of unsupportable pain is
backed up by analysis of suicide notes. While Mixed up with grief can be a
whole range of feelings, including
guilt, anger, fear, shame,
shock and rejection.
The mental health of those le
behind can be affected, plunging
them into depression, anxiety and
post-traumatic stress.
There can also be a sense of
acceptance that the person they
loved is no longer suffering.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 59
INTO THE BLACK
5 MYTHS ABOUT SUICIDE Trying this with natural gas produces a bad
headache. Therefore, one of the most easily
accessible methods of suicide was removed
from the mix. However, studies have shown
that this produced a real and permanent
decrease in the number of suicides. The
PEOPLEWHOTALKABOUTSUICIDEWON’TDOIT majority of people who would have gassed
People don’t always directly say they want to die, but talking of feeling themselves did not try to find another
their life is worthless or that they can see no way out of their predicament method of killing themselves – they lived.
are red flags. Sometimes people do say straight out that they want to die. Other measures, such as restricting
This is not aention-seeking; it may be the last chance to help. access to pesticides, the installation of
catalytic converters on car exhausts and
selling paracetamol in packs containing
YOUCAN’TSTOPTHEMIFTHEY’RESERIOUS a maximum of 16 tablets have all
The door to suicide does not normally stay open for long. contributed to a decline in suicides.
Actively moving towards ending one’s life is not long term and, if
the crisis passes, it may never recur. Planning
A key indication of moving from suicidal
ONLYMENTALLYILLPEOPLEKILLTHEMSELVES thoughts to acting on those thoughts is the
No. Mental health problems are a risk factor but not all formulation of a plan. Should someone
confide that he or she is having suicidal
the people who kill themselves are mentally ill.
thoughts, ask if they have worked out a way
to do it. It might sound callous, but if they
PEOPLEKILLTHEMSELVESBECAUSETHEYWANTTODIE have, and the plan is detailed and they have
No. People kill themselves because they can no longer bear to live the life the means to carry it out, then it is time to
they are living. If they can see another life is possible, then they will live. act. Contact a GP, mental health professional
or the emergency services immediately.
If someone suffering from suicidal
TALKINGABOUTSUICIDEMIGHTENCOURAGE thoughts has previously had someone
SOMEONETOCOMMITSUICIDE close kill themselves, then that increases
No. There is still a taboo around talking about suicide and many suicidal the chance that their thoughts will be acted
people see themselves as a burden. Asking directly if they are suicidal gives upon. We are all affected by our social
them permission to speak and shows that you do not see them as a burden. environment and if that environment
has included someone else who has
committed suicide then we are at more
60 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
INTO THE BLACK
risk of following their lead. There is person permission to speak about his or how they might kill themselves, then
unfortunately clear evidence that the her difficulties, as well as showing that removing the means to do so is a good
children of a parent who committed you do not consider them a burden. idea: in most cases a disrupted suicide
suicide are more likely to kill themselves Other ways to assist include encouraging plan leads to the postponement or
too, the grief passing down the generations. them to seek help and support, from abandonment of the idea rather than
However, it must be emphasised that this charities such as Mind and the Samaritans to search for alternative methods.
is a risk factor: it is not in itself enough to or through their GP, as well as offering And on the simplest level, just listening,
shi someone from thinking to doing. emotional and practical support. Doing so quietly and calmly, to what someone
Impulsivity is another factor that acts will help reconnect them with other people has to say aer you have broached the
towards translating ideas into action. At as well as demonstrating that they are difficult subject of their suicidal feelings
the surface level it is clear why. People valued. On a practical level, if the person is a good start towards taking their hand
who are more impulsive are more likely to you are worried about has talked about and leading them back towards the light.
act on suicidal thoughts than those who
are not. However, while some suicides
appear to be made almost on the spur of
the moment, others are clearly the result
If you
of careful planning. Alcohol and other
drugs can also reduce impulse control think someone
and lead to risky and suicidal behaviour.
Dying is very rarely painless. People who is feeling
have higher tolerances to physical pain
and less fear of death are more likely to
translate suicidal thoughts into attempts
suicidal,
on their own lives. So if someone you
know tells you that they feel trapped
research
and that they don’t fear dying, then ask
immediately if they are thinking about shows
acting on their suicidal thoughts.
Finally, as mentioned above, previous that it’s
self-harming and suicidal behaviour makes
it more likely that someone will try to kill
themselves. But it must be emphasised
all right
again that this is a relative risk. The most
recent and comprehensive study found
to ask
that of patients admitted to hospital for
self-harm, one in 25 would go on to commit them
suicide in the next five years. This is
obviously much higher than the general
population, but it still means that 24 of
those 25 people do not die by suicide.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 61
CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?
Y
our friend leans in and someone can help bring you closer together
whispers to you: “Can you and form the bonds of friendship or a
keep a secret?” Naturally, relationship. When it’s a happy secret, it can
and almost automatically, feel joyful and light and special. On the other
you respond with a “yes.” hand, holding on to others’ secrets can be
There’s something about the sharing of hard, as we worry about accidentally spilling
secrets that feels intimate, connecting it. Even our own secrets – those we don’t feel
you to another person through mutual we can tell anyone – can start to preoccupy
knowledge. Then there’s the thrill of a the mind. Secrets can take over our thoughts
secret; a small rush of adrenaline that and lead to feelings of stress and anxiety.
makes you feel good knowing something One study, ‘The Benefits and Burdens of
that others around you don’t. Keeping Others’ Secrets’, says: “The closer
However, secrets are tricky things. one is to the confider, the more one’s mind
Whether they’re our own or they’ve been wanders toward the secret, predicting
imparted to us by someone else, they can increased feelings of intimacy, but also
start to get heavy over time and could burden. The more a secret has overlap with
become an unwanted weight on our one’s own social network, the more one
minds. It depends on what the secret is, conceals the secret on the other’s behalf,
of course. Some secrets are quite trivial, predicting increased feelings of burden.”
little more than office gossip. Other The thing is, we all have secrets, whether
secrets are intense or overwhelming, we want them or not. What makes up a
and can be hard to stop thinking about. secret is quite personal – some people
Secrets can be both a benefit and hold certain information close to their
a burden. The act of confiding in hearts that others are very open about.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?
Before you
WHO TO TRUST start spilling
WITH SECRETS secrets, take
a moment to
If you have a secret that you need to tell someone, then it can be hard to think about
decide who to reveal all to. It should be someone who you trust, who would
have your best interests at heart and not spread your secret further. This the potential
could be a family member or a friend – depending on the nature of the
secret. Consider how the person you’re speaking to might be impacted consequences
themselves about the secret – if it’s related to a mutual friend, for example,
you may be placing an unfair burden on them, so someone neutral can likely to spill a secret, but the toll on them
be a beer choice. Also consider what you’re looking to achieve by telling can be greater if they’re holding a lot in.
your secret. Do you need advice, compassion, understanding? Some people Another reason you may tell secrets
will be beer placed to offer this than others; maybe they have some you shouldn’t is because you feel guilty for
keeping it in the first place. This can be hard,
experience that will place them in a good position to help you, or maybe
especially if you’re weighing your loyalties. If
they are just fair and kind, and you know they won’t judge you. When you you know something that will directly impact
do speak to them, offer a choice – don’t just spill your secret, but first ask on someone you love, for example, it can
them if they are comfortable being your confidant and keeping your secret. be very difficult not to let something out.
Before you start spilling secrets, whether
yours or someone else’s, take a moment to
think about the potential consequences.
already in your life who you trust, or you with another person. It might just come out Are you handing over a burden to someone
could speak to a professional, such as a in conversation without any forethought else, who might not want it? How will you
counsellor or therapist, to talk about those while we’re trying to gain someone’s trust or feel about someone else knowing one of
issues you can’t share with anyone else. respect or to get them to like us. You might your deepest secrets? What will happen if
regret the action instantly, but it’s impossible you share a friend’s secret with someone
Mum’s the word to put a secret back once it’s come out. Some else, and how will they react? Sometimes
It’s different when you’re entrusted with people are just more chatty and open than all you need is to take a moment and think
someone else’s secret, however. It’s not your others, and secrets can come out more before you speak; your gut instinct will
secret to tell, which means you don’t have an frequently. Whereas others are naturally drive you in deciding whether to reveal
outlet if it all gets too much. The only person quieter and more introverted, therefore less your secrets or keep them locked inside.
you can speak to about it is the one who gave
you the secret in the first place. This can be
particularly hard if the secret would impact
someone else in your social circle, and that
burden can be difficult to bear. We still feel
that same urge to tell, to help relieve the
pressure of holding on to it, but we also have
an obligation to keep quiet. In this case, you
could try using a journal or diary to give you
a safe outlet for the secret you’re keeping.
Occasionally, secrets come out anyway,
and you need to face the consequences of
that. This might be because you’ve shared
something you shouldn’t by accident, or you
just couldn’t keep it to yourself anymore.
While this can lead to feelings of guilt and
shame, it’s best to be honest with the person
who told you the secret in the first place –
they’ll only find out anyway and living with
the guilt at sharing a secret you shouldn’t
can be as heavy as the secret itself.
Some people are just more prone to
secret-telling than others. First, we know
that secrets can create bonds, so we may
use secrets we have to secure a connection
64
CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 65
REDISCOVER YOUR OPTIMISM
I
t can be hard not to let negativity took, an optimist will always try to see what Tries not to waste time and energy
seep in to your day, especially they can learn from the experience. They on complaining when something goes
during stressful periods of life. A think of an unfortunate event as a temporary wrong, but focuses on what they do
dose of optimism not only makes setback – not a permanent way of life. Even if to change or learn from a situation
you feel better, but it’s also good for something awful happens, a positive thinker –
your physical and emotional health – even believes good things will come again.” Feels that nothing can hold them
if initially you need to force yourself to “Optimists look on the bright side,” back from achieving success
feel more positive. “An optimistic person is reveals psychologist Dr Sandra Wheatley and reaching their goals
always looking for the best in any situation (potentpsychology.com). “They emanate –
and expecting good things to happen,” says a hopeful positivity. But, being optimistic Sees challenges and obstacles
Kimberly Reed, author of Optimists Always doesn’t mean you go into denial and as opportunities to learn
Win (£10.95, Health Communications Inc.). pretend everything is fine when it’s not. –
“Even if something negative happens, such It’s a frame of mind where you hope for Feels gratitude for the good bits
as the loss of a job, an optimist sees the the best but prepare for the worst.” – even in a negative situation
silver lining. For example, the chance to She adds that an optimist can look at –
pursue a more fulfilling career or hobby, a situation squarely in the eye and plan Has a positive attitude towards
or take a much-needed break. Optimists what to do if things go wrong. “By having a themselves and others
believe their actions result in positive contingency plan, this makes it easier to turn –
outcomes, that they are responsible for things around before there’s a huge problem.” Is tenacious and carries on
their own happiness, and that they can when the going gets tough
expect more good things in the future.” Get the optimistic mindset –
If you’re an optimist you try to look for “Optimists tend to share several Doesn’t let one bad
good in every situation. “An optimist views positive characteristics that can lead to experience colour their
adverse events (such as your car being greater happiness and promote good expectations of the future
broken into, redundancy and so on) as a health,” says Kimberly. An optimist: –
result of something outside of themselves,” Accepts responsibility for mistakes
explains Kimberly. “But, even if it’s something Thinks about, reflects on and but doesn’t dwell on them
that happened as a result of an action they emphasises the good things in life –
Is always looking for ways to make
the most of any opportunities
An optimist thinks of that come their way
temporary setback rather than that’s not the case. “While optimism can
lead to greater happiness, it’s actually to
a permanent way of life do with how you view the world,” says Dr
Wheatley. “Optimists experience difficulties
66 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
REDISCOVER YOUR OPTIMISM
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 67
REDISCOVER YOUR OPTIMISM
that will help you to face life’s challenges Journal of Psychosomatic Research in 2014, it
optimists and feel confident that you can expect
positive things to happen in the future.
was shown that optimism is associated with
reduced pain and symptoms aer heart surgery.
effective BENEFITS
Optimists are more likely to live a longer life
– 11-15% longer – and have a greater chance of
reaching 85 years of age, compared to those who
coping OF BEING AN have a more pessimistic disposition. These are
the findings of a study by the Boston University
strategies OPTIMIST School of Medicine in 2019 that followed nearly
Latest research shows that optimism 70,000 women and 1,500 men over a timespan of
is associated with a number of physical 10 to 30 years.
and problems like anyone else. To be an and psychological benefits.
optimist doesn’t protect you from feeling It can help you to manage pain
negative emotions. If something bad It’s good for your heart According to a recent review, optimists who
happens, you still feel the pain, upset, grief, In a recent US review of 15 studies expect positive outcomes are better able to cope
betrayal or disappointment. It’s just that an that looked at 200,000 people** it was with and manage pain. It seems that a positive
optimistic mindset helps you cope better.” shown that optimists had a 35% lower attitude can help to reduce the perception
In a recent Indian study* it was risk of developing heart disease and a of pain. Whereas feeling negative, pessimistic
shown that optimists tend to have more 14% reduced incidence of early death. and depressed appears to have a more adverse
effective coping strategies, which helps them effect on someone’s experience of pain; for
to feel less stressed. Pessimists, on the other It lowers your stress hormones example, they find it more difficult to manage.
hand, have a tendency to dwell on stressful A study at Concordia University, Canada, asked
feelings, which can make them feel worse. participants to measure their daily stress levels. It’s an antidote to depression and
So, what makes some people more Optimists were found to have lower levels of makes you more resilient to stress
optimistic than others? “Some people are stress hormones (such as cortisol). Pessimists, Another study, in the Natural Medicine Journal
just born naturally optimistic, it’s part of their who were shown to go into ‘fight or flight’ mode in 2017, showed that people who are optimistic
genetic make-up,” explains Dr Wheatley. “But more frequently, triggered by negative thinking consider themselves as inherently protected
your upbringing also has an impact. If you that exacerbated stress, had higher stress (not vulnerable) and think about the world as a
grew up in an environment where there was hormones. When cortisol remains constantly generally good place. They tend to be happier,
a focus on the positive, the likelihood is that elevated, this can lead to health problems. have a lower chance of facing depression,
this would have had an effect on your own and manage stress more effectively. They’re
attitude to life.” Likewise, research shows You’ll recover better from illness more likely to practise healthy habits such as
that if you had a parent who was pessimistic A positive mindset can help you to cope better exercising, following a healthy diet and not
or depressed, you’re far more likely to have with disease and recover better. In a recent smoking. And they are more likely to seek
a pessimistic outlook on life as an adult. study*** it was shown that optimists had less help if they need it than a pessimist would.
But, ultimately, optimism is a inflammation and recovered more quickly aer
choice, and anyone can acquire a stroke than those who had a more negative
a more optimistic mindset outlook. In another study, published in the
68 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
REDISCOVER YOUR OPTIMISM
mood, only to turn on the news and you end up situation by leing go of what you wanted to
feeling angry, disappointed, fed up, fearful or happen and write a paragraph about what good
depressed with everything that’s going on in the came out of it,” says Kimberly. Perhaps you got a
world? “Limit yourself to anything that makes beer job, or made a new circle of friends.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 69
*International Journal of Indian Psychology, 2016 **Journal of the American Medical Association, September, 2019 ***American Stroke Association, 2020
WHY WE GET ADDICTED
A
ddiction is a biopsychosocial flood the dopamine system and cause it
disorder, meaning that its to release abnormally large amounts of
occurrence is a combination neurotransmitters. They also disrupt the
of a person’s biology, mental cycling of dopamine to make its presence
health and societal factors. last longer. These drugs can trigger the
It’s typically associated with a dependency release of between two and ten times the
on different harmful substances or amount of dopamine that is naturally
behaviours, such as the use of narcotics, produced from normal pleasurable
alcohol or gambling, but can also apply to experiences, such as eating food.
overdoing anything that leads to harm. The point at which we become addicted
What unites addictions is their ability is when our brains adapt to the presence of
to increase the levels of dopamine in the this excess dopamine. When that excess is
body. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter missing, the body craves it. When the body
that’s made in the brain. When it’s released, experiences these false ‘hits’ of dopamine,
it activates the nucleus accumbens, also over time it will begin to start reducing the
known as the pleasure centre of the brain. level of naturally produced dopamine and
Outside of addiction, dopamine is released
during pleasurable experiences, such as
getting food, watching a film or anything
that brings you joy. However, this built-in
reward system can be hijacked by other
substances and damaging behaviours.
Some substances, such as heroin,
marijuana and nicotine, mimic the presence
of a chemical messenger that activates
nerve cells called neurons. When activated,
neurons generate electrical signals to
tell the brain to release dopamine. Other
substances, like cocaine or amphetamines,
Aer just one puff, nicotine can get its claws into you
Without the presence of Within the first few seconds Once nicotine has At the point of addiction,
nicotine, neurons operate of inhaling the smoke of a been used up and is neuron receptors wait for the
normally, activated by a cigaree, nicotine binds to no longer present, arrival of nicotine and the
type of neurotransmier neuron receptors that normally receptors return to body craves the resulting rush
called acetylcholine. bind with acetylcholine. normal function. of dopamine.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 71
UNDERSTANDING INTROVERTS & EXTRAVERTS
INTROVERTS
EXTRAVERTS
For centuries,
scholars and
psychologists have
attempted to define
personality theory.
Here we explore
what it means to be
introvert, extravert
or somewhere
between the two
U
nderstanding why and
how our personality is
shaped and formed is
an incredibly fascinating
area. Nowadays there are
several major theories on personality,
which include: dispositional (trait)
perspective, psychodynamic, humanistic,
biological, behaviourist, evolutionary
and social learning perspective.
There are oen a number of wide-ranging
factors that contribute to the combination
of characteristics or qualities that form an
individual’s distinctive character. There
are many aspects of our personality,
temperament and predispositions that are
already highly formed from the moment
72 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
UNDERSTANDING INTROVERTS & EXTRAVERTS
we are born. This is an old idea stemming we each have a natural inclination to either describe the predictable differences
from Hippocrates in 370 BCE – a concept extraversion or introversion, combined with between the ways in which people
that evolved into mainstream philosophy our preference for one of what he called behave in different situations and which
and medicine up until the 19th century. the four basic psychological functions: groups personalities into eight categories:
Then came the notion that we are also thinking, feeling, sensation, intuition. Extravert-Introvert, Judging-Perceiving,
born without predispositions and that Sensing-Intuition, Thinking-Feeling.
personality can actually be shaped. This The birth of Myers-Briggs The Myers-Briggs model of personality
concept started to feature in studies in the Jungian theory, a psychodynamic focuses on how we prefer to behave
early 20th century, aer claims from Sigmund perspective, is still used in ‘personality rather than how we actually behave.
Freud and other physicians, such as Alfred type questionnaires’ today. It started in Oen we change our preferences and
Adler and Harry Sullivan. Shortly aer, in 1921, the 1950s when Isabel Briggs Myers, a natural tendencies over time – either due
Swiss psychoanalyst, Carl Jung published layperson, alongside her mother, Katharine to patterns or preferred behaviours we’ve
a book, Psychological Types,
Types, which laid out Briggs, together created a questionnaire for learnt or inherited from friends, family,
that people are different in essential ways. identifying different kinds of personality, society, culture, workplaces and other
He claimed that we have a multitude of based on Jung’s Psychological Types
Types.. environments, all of which can influence
instincts that he called archetypes, and which They called it the Myers-Briggs Type our beliefs. Our preferences therefore,
drive us from within. Specifically he said that Indicator. The test uses Jung’s idea to can and will, oen change over time.
we each have a
natural inclination
to extraversion or
introversion
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
UNDERSTANDING INTROVERTS & EXTRAVERTS
Steve Myers (no relation to Isabel Briggs Myers) is a visiting fellow at the University of Essex
and the author of Myers-Briggs Typology vs Jungian Individuation.
WHATDOTHETERMSEXTRAVERSIONANDINTROVERSIONMEAN?
The same terms can mean different things to different people, depending on which theory they use, or
which aspect of the theory they focus on. Some definitions are simple, but others are more complex. For
example, Five Factor theory (also known as the Big Five) is relatively straightforward because it defines
extraversion as how outgoing or sociable a person is, or how much they are energised by being with other people.
Hans Eysenck’s definition is a lile more complex because, for him, extraversion refers to higher degrees of brain arousal in
response to external stimuli – though this produces some overlap with the Big Five.
THETWOTERMSINTROVERTANDEXTRAVERTWEREORIGINALLYCOINEDBY
CARLGUSTAVJUNG AREHISDEFINITIONSSIMPLEORCOMPLEX?
They are complex. Within his developmental theory, which he called individuation, extraversion
and introversion are complementary aitudes or mechanisms within the individual that are akin to
systole and diastole in the heart. We need to use both, and we all do.
However, Jung observed that some people had a habit of using one mechanism more than the other –
and he described those people as extraverts or introverts. But he also said there is a third group of people –
the largest group – who have a balance between the two. Erich Neumann developed the idea of extraversion
and introversion within the individuation process and, in agreement with Jung, suggested that their interaction
can sometimes lead to a new, third aitude, which Neumann called centroversion.
THEIDEAOFCENTROVERSION–ORAMBIVERSION PERHAPS–ISNOT
WIDELYDISCUSSED NOTEVENINISABELBRIGGSMYERS’POPULAR
THEORYTHATISBASEDONJUNG’SCONCEPTS WHYISTHAT?
Isabel Briggs Myers modified and simplified Jung’s theory to suggest that everybody falls into one of two
groups, depending on whether they prefer to deal with the external world of people and things or the internal world
of ideas and information. She believed that this was much more relevant to everyday psychology. It gives people
a simple, heuristic toolkit for dealing with relationships and teamwork, and it supports some degree of personal development.
However, this meant that she le out the more advanced developmental aspects of Jung’s individuation.
There is some value in both – the Myers-Briggs toolkit and Jung’s individuation.
CANYOUGIVEANEXAMPLEOFTHETOOLKIT FOREXAMPLEHOWITCANHELPAN
EXTRAVERTANDINTROVERTSITTINGNEAREACHOTHERATWORK?
Extraverts tend to develop ideas at work by discussing them with other people, whereas introverts tend to think
them through. Both can produce good results, but their interaction can sometimes lead to conflict. For example,
the extravert might see the introvert ‘doing nothing’ and start talking. But the introvert is thinking things
through, and the extravert’s interruption makes them lose their train of thought.
On the other hand, when the introvert wants to discuss something, they might send an email, with a large aachment
to read. This is a waste of time for the extravert, who would rather the person siing six feet away just talk to them.
And even when they do start talking, they misunderstand the nature of each other’s ideas.
The extravert fails to recognise how much thought has gone into the introvert’s ideas and tries to change them
(to the annoyance of the introvert). The introvert fails to recognise the provisional nature of the extravert’s ideas and
dismisses them as ill-thought through (to the annoyance of the extravert). Rather than geing annoyed with each
other, the toolkit helps them recognise their different styles, respect the stage of development at which their ideas
are shared, and work out how to accommodate each other’s preferences.
74 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
UNDERSTANDING INTROVERTS & EXTRAVERTS
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 75
UNDERSTANDING INTROVERTS & EXTRAVERTS
interesting to explore which behaviours have a practical and helpful extension. One
pure are learned, or else, a response to current
demands – the latter can reflect a person’s
example can be applied to a marital relationship.
Offering a day-to-day example of this idea,
76 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
UNDERSTANDING INTROVERTS & EXTRAVERTS
EXTRAVERSION INTROVERSION
SOCIAL PRIVATE
EXPRESSIVE QUIET
by spending time on systole – he needs to talk to Shoes, said, “The essential point here is what
her. So, there is a conflict between her wanting a you mean by networking; it is not about walking
quiet time and him wanting to talk. That sounds around a room (some even say ‘working the
very similar to the example in work. What room’), collecting business cards and then coming
difference does this make in the marital setting? back to the office, asking yourself who these
“When they got married, she married an people are, what they do and what that means for
introvert husband, and he married an extravert the future of their business. That is the extravert.
wife. But in this new scenario, when she walks “The re-trained introvert (whom we will call
through the door, she only sees her husband Pat Intro), on the other hand, will enter the same
in extravert mode and he only sees his wife room, in the same circumstances, and engage
in introvert mode. The other person, that they with the other guests/delegates and actively
each now see, seems opposite to the one they listen to their statements. In doing so, Pat is
married. In the worst-case scenario, this can already entering into a relationship with the
lead to a breakdown of the relationship. But other parties and creating a bond with their
if they have the toolkit to understand these interlocutor. The truth of the matter is that Pat
dynamics of extraversion and introversion, Intro can learn as much as their counterpart
they will realise that neither of them have (whom we will call Pat Extra) can from them.”
changed. Rather, the dynamics of their systole/ Catherine believes that the extravert can
diastole interactions have changed with the teach ‘Pat Intro’ how to break the ice, with one-
new circumstances, which means they tend liners that can be used when approaching a
to see a side of the person that they previously stranger; these could be open questions that
hadn’t noticed so much. With this insight, they require more than a yes or no, like: What did you
can then reconstruct their lifestyle to get back think of the last speaker? What is your interest
to a more balanced experience of each other.” in this subject? I saw you speaking earlier to
[person’s name] – how do you know them?
Extraverts can open doors, but She adds, “The introvert will teach Pat Extra
introverts can keep them open to (literally) shut up, listen and ask pertinent all, Pat Extra has to realise guests at this event
Who is the best networker – the extravert or the questions. They will teach them to develop an are not there to buy their services, but to sell
© Gey Images / mspoint /
introvert? Some may instantly assume that it honest interest in the needs of others and, dare I their own. By finding out what the other party
would be the sociable extravert and others may say, actually teach them some modesty. Whilst is interested in, the introvert will be able to offer
be certain that introverts are better at deeper the extravert will be there for the sole purpose of introductions that can be of interest, and, in doing
Veronika Oliinyk
connections. Catherine A Baudino (www. being centre-stage and promoting themselves, so, they will initiate a long-term connection.”
drcatherinecoaching.com) PhD, FRSA, MNCP, Pat Intro will use their listening skills to explore The wonderful thing is that we can all
executive coach and author of Stepping Into My how they can help their interlocutor. Above learn from each other. Vive la différence!
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 77
THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE
THE
TO BE
VULNERABLE
How can we embrace vulnerability to
live more fulfilling lives?
H
umans have always needed and feelings, and we learn to respond to words: researcher, storyteller, Texan. In her
to connect with one another. signals of how we’re loved best – perhaps TED Talk, ‘The Power of Vulnerability’, she
Indeed, for most of our by showing good manners, being kind, candidly shares how she was drawn to social
history, fitting in with the liking certain things or achieving high work, leaving a career in management at
group has been essential to grades at school; in short, by becoming the AT&T to search for a way to mend people’s
survival by greatly improving our chances ‘nice person’ that people will like. In doing lives and fix the systems supporting them.
against food shortage, predators and enemies so, we oen showcase the best side of Instead, she discovered that social work
through co-operating. A safety in numbers. ourselves to friends, family and colleagues, was about “leaning into the discomfort” and
But even today in our modern, sophisticated choosing to keep our less ‘likeable’ feelings allowing others to find their own way. As a
and technologically savvy world, that instinct to ourselves. In this way, we learn to forfeit born ‘fixer’, it wasn’t for her. Instead, armed
remains strong. We’re still social animals. being wholly true to ourselves in order to fit with the knowledge from her academic
From the moment we’re born, we appeal in. But is that the most fulfilling way to live? studies that connection gives meaning
to our parents for food, warmth, love and Brené Brown, a research professor at the to our lives, she chose to research that.
shelter. As babies we need our carers to University of Houston, thinks not. For the last However, what she discovered was that her
respond to our every need to stay alive. We two decades she has studied vulnerability, research subjects insisted on talking about
are vulnerable. We don’t pretend – we let shame, courage and empathy. She’s written disconnection instead: broken hearts, being
others know what we need by crying and six New York Times bestsellers, hosted the let down by others, isolation and shame.
demanding attention. We’re real. Authentic podcasts Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead
to our feelings. But as we grow up, we and shared some of her discoveries in Not good enough
become more aware of what others might Netflix’s The Call to Courage.
Courage. Refreshingly, Shame is something we all feel – save for
think of us when we share our true needs she simply describes herself in three those individuals who are unable to feel any
human empathy – and it can eat away at us,
telling us that we are simply not thin enough,
78 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE
79
THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE
Shame resilience
Some of us are more resilient to the shame
we feel, a discovery that prompted Brown
to investigate why. She called these shame-
resilient people “wholehearted” and found
that whilst they understood shame and its
impact on us, what set them apart was their
sense of feeling worthy of love and belonging
despite this. Moreover, wholehearted people
kept that sense of worthiness alive inside
them no matter what life threw at them. She
summed up their way of living as believing,
‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and
sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the
truth that I am also brave and worthy of love
and belonging’. Essentially, ‘I am enough’.
Of course, as she points out, this doesn’t
just magically happen. It’s something we
have to work at. Wholehearted people, she
discovered, lived their lives with courage,
compassion and connection each day.
The courage to be who they really are, the
compassion they show to themselves and
others and the commitment to building
genuine connections. Importantly, they
“identify vulnerability as the catalyst.”
However, these findings weren’t without
personal cost to Brown. Comparing
how she was living her own life to the
way wholehearted people lived theirs
unravelled her and she sought therapy.
80 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE
Becoming vulnerable
The answer, Brown says, is to lose the
‘‘vulnerability armoury,’’ and to drop
our weaponry. That’s easier said than
done, so it’s heartening to know that she
struggles too. Yet, by persevering she has
found strategies that work, including:
BELIEVE‘IAMENOUGH’
Recognising that we’ve had
enough of comparing, ranking
and endlessly trying to do better
than others is a great first step.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE
if we are
prepared to
drop our masks
and share the
real us, our
lives can be
much richer
they know they mess up; Joseph’s authentic
people “recognise (instead) that different
people have different strengths, talents and
abilities and are all equal as human beings.”
82 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
TAPPING IN TO TRAUMA
Discover what’s
involved with tapping
therapy and how it
alleviates stress
M
any of us struggle with our
mental health. Whether
we’ve experienced
trauma through losing
a loved one, suffered
with stress from job loss or money worries,
or struggled with isolation and loneliness,
our minds, as well as our bodies, have been
put to the test over the past few years. So
what can we do to help ourselves recover?
If celebrity ravings are anything to go by, the
newest therapy on the block could help.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
TAPPING IN TO TRAUMA
EMDR VS CBT
probably better than talking to a supportive
listener, but they don’t think there’s
enough evidence to suggest it’s superior to
exposure-based treatments, such as CBT.
Yet EMDR is widely recognised by
international organisations and medical
The results may be similar – make the trauma lose its intensity and help experts. “Alongside trauma-focused CBT,
process and store the memory correctly – but the process of the two EMDR is the frontline evidence-based
therapies is quite different. “When we use trauma-focused CBT to treat treatment for PTSD, as recommended by the
NHS, the NICE guidelines (National Institute
people with PTSD, we are asking them to relate the trauma as a narrative,
for Clinical Care and Excellence) and
where they talk it over with their therapist repeatedly, listen to it back the WHO, and also used by the UN and the
(having recorded themselves) and notice the differences between the Ministry of Defence,” explains Dr McNeill.
‘here and now’ and the ‘then’,” explains Dr McNeill. You may be Emotional trauma expert Antonia
more suited to EMDR than to trauma-focused CBT if... Harman** believes that just a few EMDR
sessions can have the same benefit as years
. You find it challenging to verbalise emotionally of psychotherapy. “Unresolved trauma can
lead to years of deep suffering and trigger a
painful or traumatic experiences multitude of illnesses, so anything that can be
. You’ve previously tried CBT but your symptoms persisted done to lessen emotional pain is beneficial,”
she says. It might not work for everyone, she
. You find it difficult to engage in therapy homework adds, but it’s worth a try. “I strongly suggest
you go in with an open mind,” she says.
. You’d rather not relate the content of the trauma to the therapist. It’s never too late
“[Instead] you process the memory while using the bi-lateral stimulation, Traumatic events, like a death, can be
without verbalising it to the therapist,” explains Dr McNeill. very difficult to come to terms with and,
oen, the only way to overcome PTSD is
with professional help. The NHS believes
it’s possible for PTSD to be successfully
which is used extensively by the military “It works by encouraging you to think treated many years aer the event (like
to help with post-traumatic stress disorder about a memory that you find upsetting Prince Harry and the death of his mother),
(PTSD), was invented in 1987 by senior or disturbing and, in doing so, the memory which means it’s never too late to seek
research fellow Dr Francine Shapiro at the begins to lose its intensity,” explains help. It’s important to keep trying out
Mental Research Institute in California. It’s chartered psychologist Dr Jane McNeill*. options, to find one that works for you.
based on the idea that the mind can heal “Fundamentally the memory isn’t forgotten,
from trauma by using external stimuli however, it has been desensitised and
(eye movement or tapping) to allow the
brain to process the traumatic event.
It’s thought that thinking about the
reprocessed.” She adds, “Overwhelming
traumatic events are not stored like other
memories in the brain and can remain
MORE
event while doing mundane tasks
creates a new default memory, and
active and intrusive. A noise or smell that
brings back the memory of an accident, TAPPING
THERAPY
allows our brains to cope better. for example, can trigger the brain to
British actress Jameela Jamil, who respond as if the accident is happening
underwent EMDR for childhood trauma, in the present. EMDR enables the brain to
explained how it helped remove the process and store the memory correctly.”
emotion linked to a traumatic memory.
“Things I used to find terrifying are So does it actually work? EMDR isn’t the only therapy to
now boring to me,” she said. She Psychology professors Scott O Lilienfeld use tapping. It also features in
recalled how revisiting the memory (Emory University) and Hal Arkowitz emotional freedom technique (EFT)
made her feel distressed, but as the (University of Arizona), who co-authored a
– an alternative therapy for anxiety
therapy session progressed the feelings paper entitled EMDR: Taking a Closer Look
Look,,
dissipated and they never came back. believe the answer isn’t straightforward. and stress in which tapping lightly
with your fingertips on certain parts
© Gey Images / Flash vector / fedrelena
E
very year about 170,000
people go missing in the
UK. Worldwide, researchers
estimate that eight million
children disappear each year
– no one really knows how many adults
go missing. It is clearly a large problem
but it is a complex issue too, with many
different reasons for these disappearances.
The numbers
In the UK, of those 170,000 people reported
missing annually, roughly 100,000 are
adults and 70,000 are children. Thankfully,
the vast majority of missing people are
quickly found. Among missing adults,
75% are found within 24 hours and 85%
within 48 hours. However, 5% of missing
adults will still be missing aer a week.
Millions of people go missing In the case of missing children, 80% are
found within 24 hours and 90% within 48
in the world each year. We hours. However, 2% of missing children will
still be missing aer a week has passed.
try to understand why they But although the vast majority of people
are found within a relatively short time, a
do it and the impact on the small proportion of the lost remain missing
for a year or longer. However, since so many
86 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
THE LOST
than a year. Of these, about 1,700 leave. Mental health issues also played a off their phone and communications,
are children and 3,300 adults. role in about 20% of the cases, with 10% of and keep going until the stress has
Equivalent statistics do not exist missing children reporting that they had lessened sufficiently for them to return.
worldwide. Countries have widely differing self-harmed and 4% being at risk of suicide. The other major factor, mentioned in
definitions of what constitutes a missing Sexual exploitation also leads to many 30% of adult cases, is the breakdown of a
person and in some places privacy laws children and young people going missing. relationship. With older people, dementia is a
mean that unless the police have reason Among these are many who are in care. factor, confusion leading to them becoming
to believe that someone has gone missing Children and young people are trafficked disoriented and lost. Smaller numbers of
because a crime has been committed, across borders by organised gangs for people, in the region of 1 in 50, report that
they will not investigate further. use in prostitution and other criminal money worries or the fear of violence
activities. Many of these run away and played a part in their decision to disappear.
Why do people go missing? are then placed into care. But even there,
There is no single reason. There is, however, marked by their experiences, they still What to do if someone has gone missing
a difference between the reasons children tend to run away. In fact, children who have It is not necessary to wait 24 hours before
go missing and why adults disappear. been placed into care for whatever reason reporting a missing person to the police.
However, there has been much more work are markedly more likely to go missing In particular, if the person missing is
done on the reasons for children and than those living with their families. a child or an adult you think is at real
young people going missing than on why With respect to adults, much less work risk, then report them missing straight
adults disappear, so it is possible that some has been done to understand why they away, calling your country’s emergency
of the factors making adults walk out of go missing. But the research we do have line. Otherwise, report the missing
their lives have not yet been discovered. suggests that mental health issues play a person at the nearest police station.
With children and young people, a major large part in the majority of the cases. This With adults, unless you have immediate
cause of disappearances, reported in can be ongoing chronic mental illness cause for concern, try searching for them
more than half of cases, is trouble at home. or a sudden acute episode. For instance, yourself first, remembering to check for
Neglect, abuse or conflict with parents someone might be under so much stress that messages and their most recent posts on
lie behind the young person’s decision to they start the process of leaving, switching social media. Leave a message on their
phone explaining how worried you are, but
adding that there will be no ramifications
countries have widely for them when they come back. Be sure to
contact friends and other family members
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 87
THE LOST
the police, this will be useful information. on 116 000. In Australia, contact Missing
Police forces around the world emphasise Persons at www.missingpersons.gov.au. In
how important the first 24 to 48 hours are the US, call local law enforcement. If the
in tracing a missing person. The memories missing person is a child, call the National
of witnesses are still fresh and other Center for Missing & Exploited Children
traces are easier to find. This is even more on 800-THE-LOST (800-843-5678).
important in the case of missing children.
go missing oen involve both of these bill being determined by how far the client wants to move, what he or she
as well as other factors. As an issue, it
urgently requires further attention.
wants to take from the old life, and evading debt collectors among other
If you know someone who has gone things. Japan’s strict privacy laws prevent police from trying to trace
missing, fear that someone will go missing missing people unless there is reasonable suspicion of accident or crime, so
or are struggling against the urge to walk out jouhatsu may remain undiscovered for the rest of their new lives.
of your life, then contact Missing People at
www.missingpeople.org.uk or phone them
88 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
FOLD AWAY YOUR FEARS
FOLD AWAY
Who knew a simple sheet of paper could be so relaxing?
WORDS FAYE M SMITH
M
ove over colouring-in TRYONEYOURSELF
books, origami is the For inspiration, pick up a copy of Samuel’s
best mindfulness trend
to help you find inner
book (see below), look on YouTube, or try this
plane model. Samuel recommends you find
5 TOP TIPS
a model that has a personal meaning to you
calm. It might have
been around since the 17th century, but (such as a crane, which represents peace). FOR FEEL-GOOD
in recent years it’s become well known
that taking part in the art of paper folding FOLDING
can work wonders for your wellbeing.
“I call origami ‘yoga for the mind’ as
it allows you to stretch and exercise
the creative and artistic areas of your
brain,” says ‘mindFOLDness’ teacher Start easy with the models you
Samuel Tsang (mindfulorigami.com). know from childhood, such as paper
“While folding paper you are using aeroplanes and boats. Think about
your hands, eyes and mind – allowing happy memories from those times.
you to block out distracting and negative
thoughts and focus on the present
moment. There is something beautiful Don’t aempt the hardest models
in turning a plain piece of paper into an first, otherwise you will just get
amazing 3D object with your hands.”
frustrated and give up.
In fact, origami has so many levels,
that even the type of model you create
can have symbolic meaning. “If you are
folding a paper plane, your thoughts Origami should be viewed as a
might stray to your childhood or maybe puzzle, something that you may not
it represents a holiday,” says Samuel. be able to solve on the first, second
The best thing about origami is it can be FINISH or even the tenth try. But, as with a
a cost-effective form of meditation. Plus, it puzzle, there is immense satisfaction
can be done at any time. “A surgeon told me when you finally do crack it!
that he folds origami just before he operates
to help focus and relax his mind,” reveals
Samuel. “I personally like to fold on my 1 Fold paper in half, make a crease and unfold As a general rule, don’t reuse the
commute as it allows me to focus out the 2 Fold to meet the centre line same paper again and again, as it
stress that can be associated with travelling.” 3 Fold to meet the centre line
4 Fold into the doed line will get so weak that it will rip, which
Samuel is the author of The Book of 5 Fold in the doed line isn’t good for positivity.
Origami, £9.99
Mindful Origami, £9.99,, and The Magic of 6 Fold in half
© Gey Images / Alena Kalinina
Origami, £10.99
Mindful Origami, £10.99,, both published 7 Fold both sides in the doed lines
by Hodder & Stoughton. and adjust in 90° Fold in a quiet room with no music
– which can affect our mood in a
I
t’s fair to say that going to the bad news, so people may procrastinate
doctor’s is never much fun – whether about making trips to the surgery. This
it’s attending a routine cervical can, of course, be dangerous because
screening or seeking help for a you may miss a vital diagnosis.”
rash/pain/annoyance that simply
won’t go away. But for some of us, visiting White coat syndrome
the doctor triggers debilitating stress An extreme fear of doctors is a condition
and high anxiety levels, which can feel called iatrophobia. You might know it by the
terrifying – and as we get older we oen more common term ‘white coat syndrome’.
face a higher risk of health complications Sufferers may delay or refuse medical help,
that can further exacerbate any worries. and ignore symptoms that need attention.
Research by health test provider Their blood pressure might rise when in
Medichecks found that during the first a medical setting and they may even
Covid-19 lockdown, out of 2,000 people suffer from anxiety or panic attacks.
polled in the UK, one in five had a health The shi in the way appointments are
condition that they would ordinarily have now carried out has also, in some cases,
sought treatment for, but did not. For those had a knock-on effect on mental wellbeing.
who already had a phobia of doctors, the Data from The Royal College of GPs showed
pandemic reinforced their conditioned that before lockdown approximately 25%
response to steer clear, and worsened the of GP appointments in the UK took place
anxiety of getting worries checked out. remotely, with around 75% in person,
The research also highlighted that 30% of but since the pandemic began these
people were less likely to use A&E than figures have been reversed – which has
they were pre-lockdown – this can be acted as both a blessing and a curse.
attributed to multiple reasons, from long Picking up the phone can be easier both
wait times to dismissing personal concerns. for the patient and for overstretched doctors,
“There are different reasons why people and it can mean you are treated promptly
might avoid going to see the doctor,” says instead of waiting days or even weeks for
Dr Jorge Palacios from silvercloudhealth. a slot. And if you’re feeling anxious about
com. “One of the main ones is fear of hearing scheduling a face-to-face appointment,
90
WHITE COAT SYNDROME
91
WHITE COAT SYNDROME
DOYOURHOMEWORK
Everyone wants to see a doctor
with a friendly bedside manner,
so do you research. “Practice
websites have biographies on
them with fields of expertise for
individuals working in the surgery.
You may want to book in with a
specific person who has expertise
that reflects your particular
concern,” says Dr Fernando. Asking
around for recommendations
is also a good starting point.
Continuity is important, too. If
you’ve found someone you have
built a relationship with, stick
with that doctor if possible.
–
WRITEDOWNYOURWORRIES
Scribbling down any anxious
thoughts is a good strategy when
flare-ups strike. It can help you to
see things in a different light and
stop feelings from spiralling out of
92 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
WHITE COAT SYNDROME
control. “In general, if someone is you arrive, you could call up the
incredibly anxious or overwhelmed reception assistant to inform them
they can get mind fog, so a useful that you will be waiting outside
tactic is to sit down before the and politely ask them to notify
appointment and jot down what you when the doctor is ready for
your worries are, what you want you. If you do need to go in the
to achieve from the consultation, waiting room, bring something
and use that to direct your time to distract yourself. “A book, a
with the GP,” says Dr Fernando. game, or your phone – anything
– to take your mind away from the
BREATHEOUTSTRESS environment,” advises Dr Fernando.
Deep breathing can be extremely –
calming when anxiety kicks in. PUTYOURHEALTHFIRST
“Breathe in for four, hold for four, Remind yourself that your doctor
out for four, hold for four,” says Dr is there to help, and that your
Palacios. “Focus on the image of health is of paramount importance.
the breath (putting an image on it “You are more than entitled to do
helps, for example, a coloured fog) whatever you need to take care of
entering your body and exiting your yourself. Make the doctor aware you
body, and when you hold, allow are nervous and don’t be shy about
the breath to drop deeper into the making a follow-up appointment if
lungs, releasing your diaphragm.” you have questions later,” suggests
– BACP accredited therapist Caroline
REACHOUTFORHELP Plumer (cppclondon.com).
Don’t be afraid to reach out
and ask a friend or family
member to help. “By having an
accountability partner, such as
a friend or family member, who
HOW TO CALM DOWN
sits with you as you set up a
consultation, you are receiving
FROM A PANIC ATTACK
support through the difficult task
of booking an appointment,”
says Dr Palacios. Don’t forget,
if you feel super-nervous, you When you’re in the moment, a panic aack can feel terrifying, but
can always bring a chaperone there are steps you can take to help you calm down. Try the following
who can help you through it technique from Caroline…
all, and make you feel safer.
– STEP
KEEPBUSY If you feel comfortable doing so, close your eyes.
Sitting in a waiting room can
often be the most agonising part
STEP
of any doctor’s appointment, but
there are ways around it. When Breathe in as slowly and deeply as you can through your nose – try
counting to seven as you do it if you can.
If you’ve STEP
Breathe out as slowly and deeply as you can through your mouth – try
found someone
© Gey Images / Maria Voronovich / Olena Chernenka
doctor
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 93
WHAT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE?
WHAT’S YOUR
D
o you wonder why you feel any significant ruptures in your adult as ‘attachment theory’. According to British
insecure in relationships relationships, such as infidelity or divorce? psychologist, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst
or avoid intimacy with It could be down to your attachment John Bowlby, our adult relationships
your partner, especially if style – this is how you relate to other people are the result of the relationship we had
you haven’t experienced – and is known in the field of psychology with our primary caregivers as infants.
94 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
WHAT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE?
our adult
relationships are
the result of
the relationship
we had with
our primary
caregivers
as infants
Intrigued? We’ve asked our experts for the From childhood to adulthood and wounds, early relationships with our
lowdown on the four different attachment Early childhood lays the foundation for caregivers form a kind of blueprint for
styles – secure, anxious, avoidant and how we experience the world throughout the relationships we have as adults.”
anxious-avoidant – and how to change yours our lives. And – just like the foundation of
if you think it could be affecting your love life. a house – stability is incredibly important.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 95
WHAT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE?
– –
Common attributes of those with
SECURITY You’re warm and straightforward
anxious upbringing are:
You felt safe and that your basic with others, and able to open
needs for survival were met, up about your feelings.
such as shelter, food, protection – You prioritise others.
–
from harm, and medical care. You’re comfortable with mutual
– dependency: you like being You struggle being alone; you
UNCONDITIONALLOVE able to rely on others and crave relationships and intimacy.
–
Being met with love and compassion have others rely on you.
even when your parents were – You have relatively low self-esteem
angry or frustrated with you. You’re aware of your emotions and seek validation from others.
– –
and can easily express them.
STRUCTURE In relationships, you often exhibit
Including rules, limits and clingy and needy behaviours. On
boundaries. This helps a child the other hand, you’re sensitive
predict how an adult will behave, ANXIOUS towards your partner’s needs and
preoccupied with taking care of
and how to behave themselves.
ATTACHMENT them, which might cause them
An anxious attachment style is the result of having to feel suffocated by you.
Common attributes of those with an unpredictable and critical caregiver. “The roots –
a secure upbringing are: of this attachment style are based on perceived You fear that you will scare
neglect – the parents did not necessarily actively people away and that they will
You’re able to establish neglect the child, but the child perceived that reject, criticise or abandon you.
emotional intimacy and trust his or her needs were not met,” explains Neil. –
people. You’re comfortable with Growing up, people with this attachment You can get extremely
being alone, but you’re also style start to prioritise the needs of others while upset when you receive
comfortable in a relationship. neglecting their own. “They expect that, if they disapproval (in any form).
– are nice and caring to someone, he or she will –
You have a positive self- like them and take care of them in return. This When your partner is unavailable
image, a strong sense of self, turns into preoccupation with the needs of others and spends time away from your
and healthy self-esteem. and leads to lack of sense of self,” says Neil. relationship, you can become
jealous, frustrated and resentful.
–
You overanalyse and worry
SO, HOW DOES THIS IMPACT excessively about relationships. At
the same time, you easily ignore or
misread signs of relational issues.
YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
AVOIDANT
Confusion can arise in a relationship without an awareness of aachment
ATTACHMENT
“The roots of avoidant attachment are based
theory. “Understanding your aachment style can help you to recognise on perceived rejection: the parents did not
what you really need for a truly successful partnership,” says Dr Madeleine necessarily reject the child actively, but
Mason Roantree, psychologist, dating coach and director of relationship the child’s needs were not met, which was
perceived as a form of rejection,” says Neil.
psychology services at The Vida Consultancy (thevidaconsultancy.com). “Children with this attachment style grow
“Whatever your aachment style, effective communication is at the core of up to be independent and self-sufficient.
developing a healthy relationship.” They have learned to rely on themselves
As Amir Levine and Rachel SF Heller explain in their book, Aached: The and not on others. This doesn’t necessarily
New Science of Adult Aachment and How it Can Help You Find – and Keep mean that such individuals do not want to
have relationships. It’s just that the dismissive
– Love (£8.85/$10.65, Amazon), it’s important to speak openly and honestly
characteristics are getting in the way.”
with your partner about your feelings. Expressing your concerns in a loving
way will help you figure out if your partner is right for you and, if they are,
help you to maintain a successful relationship.
“For those who have an anxious aachment style, understand that they
effective
need reassurance that they’re loved and wanted, and a simple remedy
should they get distressed,” says Dr Mason Roantree. “For those who are
communication
avoidant, understand that it can feel overwhelming for them to let go of
their sense of independence and need for space, and perhaps need support
is at the core
to trust that it’s okay to open up and share feelings.” of a healthy
relationship
96 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
WHAT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE?
ANXIOUS- “Our aachment models are not set in stone. One person will not necessarily
display the same levels of anxiety and avoidance over time or across different
AVOIDANT relationships,” says Dr Mason Roantree.
ATTACHMENT So how does this happen? “It essentially comes down to the life experiences
As the name would suggest, an anxious- and relationships we have in later life. For example, if you have an anxious-
avoidant attachment style is someone avoidant aachment style, being around aachment figures who are
who is both anxious and avoidant in their consistently supportive and responsive can help you learn secure behaviours.”
relationships. What this means is you push
people away when they get close, yet you
One way for this to happen is through going to therapy. “The relationship you
desperately crave intimacy and connection. build with your therapist reflects how you engage in relationships, and as you
“This attachment style is based on perceived continue in therapy you learn to tolerate difficult feelings beer and how to
fear – the child starts to perceive the source voice your thoughts and concerns which you might not ordinarily do in a way
of safety (the caregivers) as a source of that gets heard,” adds Dr Mason Roantree.
fear or unpredictability,” says Neil.
“Most therapy forms will be able to address this, although the relational
“Sometimes, parents are tentative. They
appear to be frightened by the child and
therapies are probably most effective, such as person-centred therapy,
lack confidence in parenting. At other times, psychodynamic therapy and third wave CBT.” Third wave CBT is a type of
parents are scary and frightening. They might holistic therapy that aempts to understand the client as a whole person –
be too aggressive or become threatening which focuses on the connection between their body, spirit and mind.
in a way that overstimulates the child.”
In more extreme cases, the parents are
abusive. “The other strong contributing factor
to the development of anxious-avoidant
attachment is parents who have highly
dissociated themselves – because they have
unresolved loss or trauma,” says Neil.
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 97
COUNTERACTING COERCIVE CONTROL
COERCIVE
CONTROL
How to spot the signs of coercive behaviour and
how to escape its isolating grasp
D
omestic abuse presents itself restricts the autonomy of a person’s life. over time became socially unacceptable,
in many different forms, The outcome of such abuse is a subdued controlling behaviour instead transferred
from the blatant brutality victim entangled in the belief that their into the home, tucked away from view.
of physical violence to the abuser is their entire support system. While hidden behind closed doors, this
cloak-and-dagger mind Due to the many branches of abusive type of control can fester and spore fruits
games of mental torture. Coercive control behaviour that creates the overall tree of of self-doubt and a loosening on a person’s
runs the fine line between the two. Simply coercive control, the psychology tactic has grip of reality. Stark argues that although
put, coercive control is oen defined long been difficult to define and understand. coercive control is a form of abuse, rather
as a pattern of controlling behaviour The term ‘coercive control’ was first proposed than exclusively a crime of violence, it seeks
intended to psychologically control, and by sociologist and forensic social worker to strip away the victim’s liberty and freedom.
oen leads to the physical weakening Evan Stark, when he published his seminal
of someone in an intimate relationship, work on the concept, Coercive Control: The signs and symptoms
such as a spouse or family member. How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life Life,, in of coercive control
Coercive control is used as a psychological 2007. Stark explores the genesis of coercive The foundations on which coercive control
tactic employed by a close persecutor control on a social level, suggesting that is built is isolation. By restricting another
to undermine others’ self-worth and as society’s institutional control of women person’s connection with friends and family,
Domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate when it comes to gender, however women are disproportionately impacted when compared
to men. For example, in the UK, around 73% of all domestic abuse-related crimes were commied against women. In 2020, 97% of
those convicted of coercive control were men, according to Women’s Aid. However, there is a distinct lack of research surrounding
the impact and abundance of coercive control amongst male victims, as well as members of the LGBTQ+ community.
A study conducted by the University of Central Lancashire investigated the scope of coercive control amongst men. The study
revealed that in many cases, men in similar domestically abusive relationships experienced comparable levels of coercive behaviour
in several areas of coercion by female abusers, such as intimidation, isolation and economic control. Due to males being the
predominant perpetrators of coercive control, the study explains that “false allegations, or the threat of making these, to the police
and social services as a paern of abuse are experienced by almost two thirds of male victims in our survey.” The study authors
acknowledge the need for large-scale national studies to beer understand the scale and scope of coercive control in male victims.
98 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
COUNTERACTING COERCIVE CONTROL
which is one of the main characteristics of narcissistic tendencies, who will spread
gaslighting this form of abusive behaviour. Although
Paula and Gregory’s relationship is a work
malicious rumours about a person’s mental
state, oen issuing concern to others to
and coercive are typically pathological liars, oen with by pressurising, tricking or threatening a
control
the perpetrator strips away their victim’s
potential support system. This not only
limits the chance of a perpetrator’s coercive
behaviour being discovered by someone
outside of the relationship, but it also begins
to build a psychological barrier around
their victim in which the abuser gains
control over many aspects of their lives.
Signs of coercive behaviour centre around
surveillance and reinforcing an idea that
the victim is worthless, and that without
the perpetrator they couldn’t survive or
navigate through life. According to the
domestic abuse charity Women’s Aid, those
who experience coercive control can be
controlled in all aspects of everyday life,
including where they go, what they wear
and even when they sleep. Control can
extend to diet, medicine and financial
restrictions, leading the victim to become
completely dependent on their abuser.
Controlling behaviour is oen accompanied
with repeatedly putting the victim down,
humiliating and dehumanising them.
One of the most common acts of
manipulation under the umbrella of coercive
control is the concept of gas lighting. The
term ‘gas lighting’ originates from the title of
a stage play in the early 1900s, which was
later adapted in the well-known movie in
1944 by the same name. In the movie Gaslight
Gaslight,,
the protagonist Paula meets and marries a
man in Italy before jetting back to London.
However, Paula’s new husband, Gregory,
embarks on a relentless and surreptitious
scheme to convince his wife she is losing
her mind. Lie aer lie, Paula retreats further
into herself and begins to believe Gregory,
becoming increasingly dependent on
her husband for care and reassurance.
The name of the film comes from Gregory
using gas in a locked-off room where he is
committing crimes, which causes gas lanterns
in the rest of the house to flicker. Gregory
convinces Paula that she is imagining the
flickering, leading her to question her sanity,
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
COUNTERACTING COERCIVE CONTROL
person through non-physical means. For used during the war are the same utilised world are changing to reflect the wider
example, perpetrators may make a victim by perpetrators of domestic abuse. range of abusive behaviours that a victim
feel they owe that person sex, or will threaten Biderman also listed “monopolisation may be subjected to, including mental
to spread lies about their victim if they don’t of perception” as another coercive abuse, as well as coercive control.
have sex with them. This type of coercion technique, whereby a perpetrator England and Wales were the first countries
extends to people in power over others, such will attempt to alter the views of their in the world to make controlling behaviour,
as a boss, teacher or landlord, who have the victim, punish actions of resistance and such as coercive control, illegal back in 2015.
authority to influence aspects of a victim’s life place the blame onto their victim. Under the Serious Crime Act 2015, those
to pressure them into sleeping with them. Signs of coercive control aren’t limited to convicted of coercive control are punishable
In 1956, an American psychologist called verbal degradation that impact a person’s by up to five years in prison. “Controlling
Albert Biderman outlined the methods mental health. Perpetrators may also “induce or coercive behaviour is an insidious form
used by the Chinese during the Korean debilitation and exhaustion” according of domestic abuse and this Government
War to ‘brainwash’ American prisoners of to Biderman’s chart. By depriving their is committed to ensuring all victims are
war to elicit false confessions. Biderman victim of sleep, food and even medicine, protected. We recognise that coercive
created a chart of coercion that described their victims are less likely to resist their or controlling behaviours may escalate
eight tactics employed by the captors to control and continue their coercion. following separation, and that members of a
coerce prisoners. This included isolation, victim’s extended family may be involved in
deliberate exhaustion, degradation, Coercive control and the law control or coercion,” Victoria Atkins, former
threats, enforcing trivial demands, displays Historically, cases of domestic abuse Minister for Safeguarding, wrote in a 2021
of power, occasional indulgences and, have been largely characterised by ministerial statement. However, also in 2021
finally, distorted perspectives. Biderman physical and sexual assaults. However, a review into the 2015 law revealed that
proffered that the same tactic of coercion within the last decade, laws around the although the number of recorded coercive
control offences had increased, police only
charged perpetrators in 6% of reported
signs of coercive cases between 2018 and 2019. Of those that
were charged, the conviction rate was 52%.
control aren’t limited Since England and Wales introduced
their law protections, some other European
PSYCHOLOGY NOW
COUNTERACTING COERCIVE CONTROL
5 SIGNS OF
COERCIVE CONTROL
MICROMANAGEMENT
Abusers will restrict access to aspects of a person’s life, such as finances,
social contact and even medical support. Micromanagement can even extend
to when and where you aend school or work.
MONITORING
Abusers tend to monitor a victim’s time and communication with others by
reading text messages and emails. Some perpetrators will install spyware
soware on their victims’ computers to remotely stalk their actions online.
DENIAL
When confronted, the abuser will shi the blame onto the victim for causing
the abuse or simply deny it ever happened. Alternatively, a perpetrator might correspondence, such as emails, voice
acknowledge what’s happened but insist they have a problem. messages and notes. Gathered information
can then be taken to your company’s
human resources department, who are
THREATSANDCRITICISM responsible for ensuring workplace safety
Verbal intimidation and threats of physical violence are tactics and tackling harassment and abuse.
used to control victims, along with unrelenting criticism, name In domestic abuse cases, if a
calling and pointing out their mistakes. victim is seeking the prosecution of
their abuser, then documentation
can be key to their conviction.
ISOLATION Before making any attempt to leave
Coercive behaviour typically involves isolating a person from an abusive relationship, it’s important to
seeing their friends and family. Victims will oen spend more time first assess the victim’s safety and to be
in their homes and not be allowed out to social events. acquainted with the relevant laws. Ending a
controlling relationship can be as simple as
an uncomfortable conversation, but others
may escalate into physical violence. If a
Escaping control is preparation for their rediscovered victim feels unsure and the relationship
The nature of coercive control makes it a independence. Plans should include living has become dangerous, they should avoid
difficult form of domestic abuse to break arrangements – both a short-term solution an in-person confrontation and leave the
away from, especially as it can occur within aer leaving, and legally requesting an situation as a matter of urgency. When
many kinds of relationships. For example, abusive partner vacate a property – as confronting a coercive partner, it may help
coercion isn’t limited to just romantic well as any required financial steps. the victim to have another person from
partners, and can occur between family Seeking help from domestic abuse their support system in attendance.
members, friends and colleagues. Breaking charities or national hotlines can be a Coercive perpetrators may continue to
these various chains of coercion can be great way to gather local resources and gaslight a victim during the separation in
complex, especially when additional information about how to escape from an an attempt to reinforce the idea that they’re © Gey Images / nadia_bormotova / jemastock / stephencox123
factors like children are involved. abusive relationship. However, information not abusive and the evidence for such is
Building a support system is essential from online browsing history or telephone just in the minds of their victims. Persistent
when it comes to breaking free from a call history should be erased from devices to apologies and declarations of willingness
controlling relationship. Depending on prevent being seen by an abusive perpetrator. to change is also a tactic used to coerce a
the length of the relationship and the Victims of abuse should consider using person back into their controlling grasp.
level of isolation a victim has succumbed public means of communication, such as Therefore, a victim might consider writing
to, this might feel like an impossible library computers or public telephones. a plan for an in-person separation, stick to
task, but mending lost relationships and When dealing with coercive control the points outlined in the plan and stay
rebuilding connections can help you to outside of an intimate relationship, such strong when challenged. However, if the
construct a long-term plan for the future. as in the workplace, victims should separation isn’t accepted by an abusive
Putting together a post-break up consider documenting every event in partner or family member and a victim is
plan before exiting a relationship will which a perpetrator is using manipulative harassed or stalked, then they might consider
also allow victims to take back control tactics like sexual advances, gaslighting seeking legal action, such as a personal
of the many aspects of their lives – it and humiliation. Keep a record of abusive protection order or restraining order.
SOUNDS
COLOURS
How does synesthesia combine the senses?
WORDS AILSA HARVEY
O
ur senses help us perceive and
interact with our environment,
whether that’s observing
colour through sight or using STUDYING SYNESTHESIA
the surface of our skin to feel
the shape and texture of objects through
touch. The human brain categorises these
senses in different areas, but for a minority In 1812, George Sachs wrote the first scientific report on synesthesia. This
of people, they can become intertwined. work was based on his own sensory experiences. However, at this time,
Synesthesia is a neurological condition that
can present itself in many forms. People with
internal feelings couldn’t be analysed by science, and thus the details of his
this condition – referred to as synesthetes – accounts faced great scepticism. In 1980, neurobiologist Richard Cytowic
experience the stimulation of several senses carried out the first neurophysiological studies on people with synesthesia.
from information transmitted from sensory Cytowic is credited with returning the topic of synesthesia to science and
organs that usually activate just one. sparking more research into understanding the condition.
The sensory cues that are affected differ
Modern technology means that brain activity can be studied through an
among those with the condition, with
more than 30 variations of synesthesia electroencephalogram (EEG). Sensors are aached to the head to detect
recorded. One type is chromesthesia, the strength of electrical signals in the brain. By monitoring which areas of
which causes an individual to see shapes of the brain are stimulated when exposed to different sensory cues, scientists
different colours when listening to sounds. can determine which neural connections may be linked in an individual.
For example, someone with this form of
synesthesia might see a green triangle when
W
e’ve all heard of the
saying ‘everything in
moderation’ when it
comes to weighing
MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU
up how many glasses
of wine we have in the evening, or whether
to eat that second slice of cheesecake. But
did you know that the same concept can Dopamine fasting doesn’t mean cuing out everything, just those activities
apply to our ‘feel-good’ hormones? Cutting that you compulsively rely on for that flood of dopamine. It will be different
out those everyday things that bring us a for everyone. If it’s social media, try no screen time. If you find yourself
flood of short-term joy – such as scrolling binge-watching box sets on Netflix instead of geing a good night’s sleep,
through Facebook or watching Netflix – can try bedtime yoga or meditation. And, if you can’t resist sweet snacks, opt
mean ramping up that pleasure response
in the brain when you get them back. So,
for sugar-free days. While some people have taken this wellness trend to
are you ready to try dopamine fasting? the extreme, you don’t need to ‘fast’ for long periods of time. Try one or two
hours in the evening or one day at the weekend. Or simply switch off while
The pleasure hormone on your staycation – whatever works for you.
Dopamine is the mighty chemical
messenger involved in motivation. It rises
in response to rewards and encourages
us to seek gratification. Because of It’s backed by science dopamine surges. The thinking is this: by
this, dopamine is blamed for addictive The wellness trend, popularised by abstaining from sins, stimulants and
behaviours, such as compulsive online Californian psychiatrist Dr Cameron Sepah, small pleasures in the short-term,
shopping and emotional eating. may balance negative behaviours linked to you’ll reboot the brain’s reward
system to value them more
when you indulge. It also
the brain’s reward system control of, compulsive behaviours that are
having a negative impact on our happiness.
HOW WE
Forget artificial
intelligence, the human
brain is the original
neural network
T
he brain is a collection of an between neurons are the basis of memory,
estimated 86 billion neurons, and making them is how we learn.
connected together in a
communications network
The theory of human learning is founded
on the idea that one brain cell can’t learn on
ARTIFICIAL
more complex than the
internet. Neurons pass messages like
its own – it’s the connections between brain
cells that make learning possible. In the late
NEURAL
telephone wires, shooting electrical
impulses at speeds of up to 290 kilometres
1940s, psychologist Donald Hebb explained
that “nerves that fire together wire together.” NETWORKS
(180 miles) per hour. They exchange This essentially means that when brain cells
signals using packets of chemicals called are repeatedly activated at the same time, they
neurotransmitters, which can either tell become physically and chemically linked.
the next neuron to pass the message Learning a new skill is all about strengthening AI works in almost the same way
along or to stay quiet. The connections the connections between the brain cells
that send the signals to perform that skill.
as the human brain. Instead of
This concept is called ‘Hebbian learning’, thousands of brain cells, machine
and at a cellular level, it looks a bit like this: learning algorithms have thousands
when one brain cell sends a message to of nodes. Just like a neuron, each
another brain cell, the second cell has to node receives incoming signals and
decide whether to pass the message along.
has to decide whether to pass them
At first it’s not always clear if the message
is important, but if the cell sends the on to the next node. To make this
same message again and again and again, choice, it gives each signal a weight,
something starts to change. The first cell which determines how important it
starts producing more neurotransmitters is. A higher weight means a higher
so that it can send a bigger signal, and the chance the signal will be passed
on. To begin with all the weights
are set at random, so the algorithm
the is essentially guessing what to do
with each signal. To learn, it makes
connections tiny changes to the weights, and
then sees whether its guess is
between brain beer or worse than before. This
second cell makes more receptors so To change this, the researchers passed HIPPOCAMPUS
that it can detect the signal more easily. electrical impulses along the siphon Found in part of the brain called
Together these changes strengthen the neuron to simulate a gentle touch. At the the temporal lobe, this structure
connection between the cells, ensuring same time they passed strong electrical records past events, allowing
that the message always gets through. impulses along the tail neuron to simulate us to learn from experience.
In the real brain, the situation is a a danger signal. This taught the synapse –
bit more complicated. It’s rare that that the gentle touch signal meant that NEOCORTEX
communication happens only between danger might soon be coming. During the This is the brain’s main storage
two cells. In reality, each neuron makes experiment, the connection between the bank. The hippocampus transfers
up to 1,000 connections to others, and siphon neuron and the movement neuron learning to the neocortex
signals can arrive all at once. Each neuron strengthened so much that eventually while we’re sleeping.
has to weigh up every message it receives a light touch on its own was enough to
and decide whether to pass it along. trigger the withdrawal reflex without
Learning is the process of balancing those any danger signal from the tail at all. Tuning the brain’s connections
decisions. One of the easiest ways to see On a microscopic level, learning
this in action is to look at organisms with The brain’s learning centres is all about the connections
simpler nervous systems than our own. These five brain areas are essential between brain cells:
Sea slugs have an organ called a siphon, for learning and memory:
which they use for moving, feeding and SYNAPSE
breathing. It’s quite delicate, so if they sense PREFRONTALCORTEX Neurons pass signals to other
danger they quickly pull it away. This The very front of the brain neurons by sending chemicals
reflex normally doesn’t happen if they feel is responsible for working called neurotransmitters
a really gentle touch on their siphon. But memory. It provides short-term across microscopic gaps.
they can learn to withdraw from this non- storage while we’re learning. –
threatening situation if the connections – NEUROTRANSMITTER
between their neurons are altered. BASALGANGLIA Chemical messages pass signals
Researchers at the University of This cluster of brain cells manages from one neuron to the next. After
California attached electrodes to sea motor learning – or ‘muscle memory’ learning, the amount of these
slug neurons. They chose one neuron – and the formation of habits. each neuron releases goes up.
from the siphon and another from the – –
tail, both of which pass messages to AMYGDALA RECEPTORS
a third neuron that controls siphon This structure is responsible for the Receptors detect the
movement. Before the experiment, the emotional content of memories. neurotransmitters released by
movement neuron didn’t really respond We learn better when experiences other neurons and trigger fresh
to messages from the siphon neuron. are emotionally charged. electrical impulses. After learning,
their numbers also increase.
–
It’s rare that MYELINSHEATH
Wraps of myelin insulate the
communication happens only electrical signals passing along
axons, allowing them to travel
between two cells faster and without interference.
–
ASTROCYTE
Star-shaped support cells tune
the speed of communication by
LEARNING ON controlling the thickness of the
insulation around each neuron.
A MOLECULAR SCALE –
SHEATHTHICKENING
During learning, cells called
oligodendrocytes coat nerve
cells in extra myelin, increasing
Signals pass from one neuron to another across microscopic gaps called the speed of nerve conduction.
synapses. The first neuron releases small packets of chemicals called –
neurotransmiers, which cross the gap and hit the second neuron. OLIGODENDROCYTE
Receptors on the second neuron detect the neurotransmiers, and if the These fatty cells wind around
the axons of nerve cells like the
signal is strong enough, they trigger a fresh electrical impulse. Learning plastic around electrical wires.
increases the neurotransmiers the first neuron releases, and boosts –
the number of neurotransmier receptors on the second neuron. These NEURON
changes strengthen the connection between the two cells, making it easier Neurons send messages
for them to exchange signals in the future. across the brain by passing
electrical signals down long,
thin structures called axons.
Loss of
5 FACTS ABOUT neurons
YOUR NEURONS contributes
to diseases
THEYHAVETHREEPARTS
The cell body houses genetic code and protein factories. Dendrites receive
such as
incoming signals, and the axon passes electrical messages to other cells. Alzheimer’s
THEREARETHREETYPES
Sensory neurons detect touch, taste, light, sound and smell. Motor neurons
send signals to the muscles and interneurons connect other neurons together. FROM ZERO
THEYDON’TLIVEFOREVER
TO HERO
Like us, nerve cells in the brain and body get old and die. Loss of neurons
contributes to diseases such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and Huntington’s.
Invented by Noel Burch in the 1970s,
THEYNEEDSUPPORT the four stages of competence
Neurons rely on other cells to do their job properly. Astrocytes explain how we think and learn:
maintain chemical balance, oligodendrocytes insulate electrical
signals and microglia guard against infection. CONSCIOUS
INCOMPETENCE
The learner becomes aware
THEYCANREGENERATE that there is a gap in their
Researchers once thought brain cell regeneration was understanding. This can either be
impossible. Now we know that even in adults there are stem motivating or demoralising.
cells capable of creating new neurons.
CONSCIOUSCOMPETENCE
The learner practises the
skill and starts to learn,
but they need to concentrate
hard to be successful.
UNCONSCIOUS
COMPETENCE
The learner masters the skill.
They are now so good at it that
they can do it without thinking.
UNCONSCIOUS
INCOMPETENCE
The learner is completely
© Gey Images / BRO Vector
THE
PAIN
OF
It is said to be the same kind of depression that
plagued the titular character in Shakespeare’s
Hamlet, but what exactly is existential depression?
WORDS EMMA GREEN
E
xistential depression is part An inability to stop ruminating over the big state of the world, and a general sense of
of the human condition to questions in life can result in a never-ending futility and helplessness. This may also be
ponder the big questions in downwards spiral of anxiety, apathy and accompanied by ‘existential anxiety’, where
life. Does God really exist? despair, where that person may begin to the same preoccupation with existential
Why do good people suffer? wonder what the point in even living is. This matters can result in agitation, a sense of
Is there any meaning to this life? The lack can lead to the development of depressive impending doom and panic attacks.
of concrete answers to these questions can symptoms or what may be referred to Although much has been written
be both frustrating and distressing, resulting as the onset of existential depression. about this type of depression, it is not
in a type of fear that can only be described Like other depressive disorders, such as formally recognised by the Diagnostic
as existential dread. Most people at some clinical depression and seasonal affective and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
point in their lives will experience existential disorder (SAD), the symptoms of existential (DSM-5), the handbook that doctors and
dread, where aer deep introspection, a lack depression are typical of other depressive mental health professionals use to make
of certainty about the mysteries of life may episodes: chronic low mood, a loss of interest diagnoses. This is one of the reasons why
overwhelm them. This fear usually passes in activities once enjoyed, changes in eating existential depression can be so difficult
shortly though, and most people are able to and sleeping patterns, low motivation and to treat – unlike other types of depression
carry on with their lives, resolved to the fact energy levels, and, sometimes, suicidal that can be caused by biological or
that they may never discover the answers to thoughts. With existential depression situational factors, existential depression
such colossal questions during their lifetime. though, there may be additional indicators, is predominantly a crisis of the soul that
But what happens when the repeated including an obsession with death, a loss doesn’t respond as well to a standard course
cycling of existential matters starts to have of one’s self-image, goals and values, a of treatment such as cognitive behavioural
a major impact on somebody’s wellbeing? fixation on tragic events, suffering and the therapy (CBT) or antidepressants.
THE PAIN OF EXISTENCE
Existential depression can manifest at any to face life alone. Meaninglessness is the projects’: grand acts that will preserve
time, but it is oen linked to the occurrence culmination of these three concerns and someone’s legacy aer their physical death,
of a major life event, such as the death queries if we are ultimately destined to such as becoming a celebrity, or through
of a loved one, a job loss, a divorce or the live a temporary, uncertain and lonely procreation, by passing on their genes.
diagnosis of a serious illness. It may also existence, what is the point of any of it? Some people believe that existential
be caused by transitioning to a new life Some people try to cope with an depression though can be a positive catalyst
stage, such as moving away from home or existential crisis by adopting maladaptive for change and growth. According to Polish
retirement. Anything that forces us to face methods such as numbing themselves psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski’s Theory
our own mortality or brings into question with drink or drugs, becoming so of Positive Disintegration
Disintegration,, symptoms of
the uncertainty of our existence, like a absorbed in daily distractions that they distress, such as existential depression
crisis in faith, can be a potential trigger. don’t have time to think about existential can be a sign of personality development
Anyone can experience existential matters, or by throwing themselves or the ‘pain’ of growing into oneself.
depression, but it tends to be more prevalent wholeheartedly into a religious or spiritual Exploring challenging thoughts and
in certain groups of people than others. framework because life is too hard to face feelings can lead to what Dabrowski refers
Researchers have suggested that those without certainty. Other people become to as ‘reintegration’: a new deeper level of
with high IQs or individuals who fall under preoccupied with what anthropologist understanding and self-awareness, and a
the gied and talented bracket, such as Ernest Becker referred to as ‘immortality renewal of our values and purpose in life.
artists, scientists and intellectuals, are
more likely to experience existential
depression without a specific event causing
TREATING EXISTENTIAL
it. This could be because it takes a great
deal of substantial thought, reflection and
curiosity to contemplate and scrutinise
such loy matters. Some notable figures
that have reportedly suffered an existential
DEPRESSION
depressive episode at some point during
their lives include Abraham Lincoln,
Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway
and Eleanor Roosevelt. Although existential depression can be difficult to treat, there are some
Furthermore, those with highly sensitive methods that can help to ease the angst and isolation faced by sufferers.
temperaments may also be vulnerable
to suffering from the throes of existential
depression. This occurs when their FINDTHERIGHTKINDOFTHERAPY
idealistic view of the world doesn’t match The best form of therapy for dealing with an existential crisis is existential
up to the harsh reality they see around therapy, which focuses on processing the thoughts involved surrounding
them of suffering and injustice and they death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness, and helps you to accept
realise that there is very little they can
and integrate these concepts into your life. Humanistic therapies, like
do, if anything, to prevent such cruelty.
The term ‘existential depression’ has transpersonal therapy, can also be effective in treating existential
its roots in the philosophy that shares depression as this type of therapy emphasises living authentically and
its name: existentialism. Existentialists, finding a path in life that best suits you.
like nihilists, believe that the world
has no objective meaning, but unlike
nihilism, which concludes that it is ALLOWYOURSELFTOGRIEVE
pointless to try and construct any If you have suffered any kind of loss, whether it be a death, a relationship or
purpose for your life, existentialism a part of your identity, then give yourself time to mourn. Grief is a process
actively addresses this by encouraging that involves different stages of acknowledging, accepting and moving on,
you to create your own meaning. and shouldn’t be rushed.
In his book, Existential Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy,,
psychiatrist Irvin Yalom writes that the four
primary topics that existential questions CREATEYOUROWNMEANING
focus on are death, freedom, isolation and It is essential to have some kind of meaning or purpose in life if only
meaninglessness. Concerns about death to stave off being completely consumed by the grip of depression and
might include what happens to us aer we
die, death’s inevitability and the purpose
apathy. Whether that’s through helping others, discovering your passion, or
of our fleeting physical existence on contributing something to the world, living a life of purpose can have a huge
Earth. Our worries about freedom regard impact on your wellbeing, as well as that of others.
the overwhelming number of choices
and consequences we face in this life
© Shuerstock / Good Studio
WHY DO WE FEEL
W
hat do you feel guilty If you’re honest with yourself, chances are
about right now? Is it there is something you feel guilty about.
that bar of chocolate And you’re not alone. According to one
you had aer lunch study, carried out by Intrepid Travel, the
when you’re supposed average person in the UK feels guilty for
to be focusing on healthy eating? Is it that more than six hours a week (based on a
white lie you told a friend because you poll of 2,000 adults). American psychologist
didn’t want to go out for a drink last night? Is Guy Winch (guywinch.com) suggests
it because you have to work late again, and that we experience five hours a week of
your family are waiting for you at home? guilty feelings. Whichever stat you take,
that’s a lot of time spent every single
week feeling guilty about something.
And much of this guilt is related to quite
small day-to-day events (as opposed to bigger
issues, like committing a crime or having an
affair, for example). We’re talking about things
like giving into a craving, ordering a takeaway
when you’re supposed to be saving money,
not returning a call to your parents, snapping
at someone at work, missing a deadline, not
doing the housework… the list of potential
guilt triggers is endless. We even feel guilty
about things we have no control over, like
snoring in bed and keeping a partner awake.
Understanding guilt
But what is guilt? Well, it’s an emotion, just
like love, hate, panic, fear, joy or surprise,
and it acts as a signal that we’ve done
something wrong. We feel guilt when our
SYMPTOMS
OF GUILT
While guilt is an emotion and
comes with a lot of mental turmoil,
there are also some physical
symptoms of guilt you might feel
if you’re carrying a lot of guilt or
suffer from chronic guilt.
Feeling guilty can increase the
level of stress hormones in our
bodies, leaving us feeling irritable,
low, anxious and overwhelmed.
You may also struggle to sleep,
especially if you’re worrying about
a situation you feel especially
guilty about. Some people also
find that they have digestive
issues or stomach pains when
they’re feeling guilty about
something. You may also feel
actions, or even inaction depending on become a chronic condition. Excessive guilt tense in your body, and feel pain
the circumstances, cause real, potential can lead to feelings of stress or depression, in your lower back or have more
or perceived harm to another person or low self-esteem and anxiety. If you have
group of people. Sometimes our actions a lot of unresolved guilt running around
frequent headaches.
are deliberate; other times accidental. Guilt your brain, you can feel weighed down If you spot any of these symptoms,
is a powerful emotion. In one study, more by it; it can become a heavy burden to then it’s important to explore the
than 1,000 German adults were contacted carry. Sometimes guilt can be a symptom source of your guilt and think
to provide epidemiological information on of a mental health condition, like anxiety, about how you can resolve it or
guilt feelings. It found that a quarter of the depression or OCD; conversely, guilt can
come to terms with it, so that the
adults surveyed rated their current guilt also be a trigger for a mental illness.
feelings as ‘rather strong’ or ‘very strong’. Guilt is a moral emotion, conditioned by symptoms don’t continue. For
Guilt can be a positive emotion, as it external factors. Our upbringing, culture, unresolved guilt or chronic guilt,
signposts us to what’s right and what’s wrong. environment, beliefs, family, friendships it can be helpful to get some
It helps us to live up to our own personal and lifestyle all feed into what makes us feel professional help via a therapist
standards and make good decisions. We guilty. Something that triggers guilt for one or counsellor.
know that if we break the law – going person may not for another. Some reasons
over the speed limit, for example – our for guilt are universal, such as direct harm
guilt is informing us that our actions were towards another person or animal, breaking
wrong. Guilt also supports us within our laws or regulations, or betraying the trust very old unresolved guilt from things that
relationships, by helping us to remember of a loved one. The way we were treated as happened a long time ago that you still dwell
birthdays, to show up to events on time, to a child also builds into how we cope with on now even though the situation has long
spend quality time with our loved ones. guilt as an adult; if we were constantly told passed and can no longer be resolved.
In this way, guilt can be quite productive, off at home or school and made to feel In psychology, there are generally
driving you into positive action. If we do guilty, we might carry that guilt with us considered to be three main types of guilt.
something wrong and we have to apologise throughout life making us more conditioned There is reactive guilt or natural guilt, which is
to the person we’ve upset, it ensures to feel guilt more oen. You may even carry when we feel guilty in reaction to something
that we won’t make that mistake again,
building it into our personal moral code.
We’ve all had a ‘guilty pleasure’ moment
too, where we listen to a song we love, Something that triggers
even if it’s not to anyone else’s tastes, or
enjoy a glass of wine on a week night. guilt for one person may
So, guilt is not an inherently bad thing.
The problem is that guilt can build up and not for another
114 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
WHY DO WE FEEL GUILT?
decisions that are good for our wellbeing. However, if the guilt you feel is well making decisions that put yourself first,
Take this scenario: you’ve had a busy day at out of proportion or if you feel guilty in a that guilt will lessen. By testing scenarios
work, and you just want a nice hot bath and more abstract way regularly (ie, because out and realising that nothing really bad
to read a few chapters of your book. Then you you perceive having done something happens, you will begin to rewrite the
get a message from a friend you haven’t seen wrong, rather than having actually signals in your brain that trigger guilt.
in ages begging you to go out with them and done anything wrong), then it’s time to Once you face up to your feelings of
catch up. It might be tinged with a guilt trip – reflect on your feelings and emotions. guilt, and begin to recognise that some
‘But it’s been ages! You’re always busy’. So you Try to identify where the guilt you feel guilt is healthy and some is excessive,
go out anyway, putting your friend’s desires is coming from. Is the guilt based on an you will be open to a more balanced
before your own because you feel guilty expectation set by family or society? relationship with this powerful emotion.
M
editation is nothing between learned behaviours and knee jerk
new. Humans have reactions,” explains meditation expert and
been paying attention founder of Lunar Living, Kirsty Gallagher.
to the breath and If traditional methods of meditation don’t
practising self- appeal, there are other meditation techniques
awareness for centuries, and for many that promise a chill fix. Here are some non-
years researchers have been exploring the traditional ones you might want to try. . .
benefits of meditation on both our physical
wellbeing and our minds, with the body Walk your way to zen
of scientific evidence steadily growing. Reconnecting with nature on a weekly
The list of benefits is pretty impressive. basis helps to boost physical and mental
Slowing down racing thoughts has been wellbeing according to a recent study
shown to slash the risk of depression (or conducted by scientists at the University of
help treat it if you’re already struggling with Plymouth, and there’s probably no better
your mental health), by altering the release way to lower the stress scales than with a
of mood-altering cytokines (inflammatory walking meditation. This involves bringing
chemicals that are thought to lead to the full presence and awareness into walking,
development of chronic depression). It’s something that many of us do all day
also been shown to improve focus and every day without even thinking about it.
attention, and help to beat insomnia. A separate study commissioned by the
“Meditation has been shown to reduce National Trust found that soaking up the
stress and anxiety, enhance self-awareness sounds of nature relaxes us more than if
and increase the ability to self-regulate we listen to a voiced meditation app, and
emotions. It helps you to get to know results from tests showed that it reduced
yourself, process what you are going feelings of stress and anxiety by over a fih.
through in life and puts some space Connect with your senses on a mindful level
these
gemstones
hold energetic
and healing
frequencies
that can be a
helpful aid
help you to feel grounded and protected,”
claims Kirsty. “As you meditate with your
crystal, it will emit these vibrations to
you so that you can more easily begin
to tune in to these things in yourself.”
Some people find crystals useful as they
provide a ‘touchstone’ through a meditation
practice to help focus your intentions.
“So, you can program your chosen crystal
with what you would like to bring more
of into your life and each time you sit and
meditate with your crystal it will bring
you back to your intention,” Kirsty adds.
Sound baths
alter theta
and delta
brain waves,
which trigger
healing and
relaxation
Boost sleep with beditation
With the pressure of work and family
commitments, it can be a challenge to
quieten your mind aer a busy day so
that you dri off to sleep. As many as
16 million of us suffer from poor sleep
with a third confessing to insomnia
according to one study by Aviva.
Sleep has a huge impact on long-term
physical and mental wellbeing, and while
how much we need per night varies from
person to person, around seven to eight
hours is the recommended amount.
A study published in JAMA Internal
Medicine journal, which compared two
groups of adults with sleeping troubles,
found that practising a mindful meditation
program was more effective at improving
insomnia than a sleep education class
that taught ways to improve sleep habits.
And furthermore, if your goal is to improve
sleep, practising meditation before hitting
the hay (a technique called beditation)
could possibly improve snoozing Meditate to music Living by lunar cycles is a centuries-
time more effectively than meditating If sitting in silence doesn’t do it, try a sound old concept, but harnessing its purported
during the day. “Beditation is the act of bath. This ancient therapy uses the sound mystical powers is something that we can
consciously releasing your day helping of crystal singing bowls and chimes to ignite bring into modern life, as Kirsty describes.
you to de-stress, relax and let go ready a relaxed, meditative state. Music makes “On the night of a new moon, make a list of
for a good night’s sleep,” explains Kirsty. us feel good, so it’s no wonder that 88% of your new moon intentions and what you
The great thing is that you can practise us turn to music when we need a boost. would like to create in your life over the
beditation from the comfort of your Sound baths work by altering the theta and next lunar cycle. Then take a meditation
bed. “Close your eyes and take a few delta brain waves, which trigger healing and where you visualise all of this coming easily
long, slow, deep breaths. Take a mental relaxation. All you have to do is lie back, get and effortlessly to you. See yourself as
scan of your physical body and also comfy and listen. Advocates maintain that though you already have all that you want
how you feel energetically, mentally the repetitive sounds and frequencies vibrate and how that would feel. Sit in gratitude
and emotionally. Notice anywhere that through your body creating a sense of peace. for all of your intentions coming true.”
© Gey Images / Rudzhan Nagiev / Vectormine
you feel tightness or as though you Once the full moon arrives, you can
are gripping or holding on. This could Gaze at the moon meditate under the moonlight. “Make a list
be physical or emotional tension.” Celestial believers maintain that the of all that stands in your way and all you
She goes on to add that with each lunar cycle affects our mood and energy would like to let go of. Then lie on your back
long, slow, deep breath, simply let go. levels, and we can tune in to its powers for and begin to breathe slowly and deeply.
“Feel as though you are processing and guidance. “Usually we would use a new With each deep exhale, feel as though you
releasing your day ready for a restful sleep. moon to meditate on what we want to are gently breathing away anything that
Stay here for as long as you need to, simply create and bring into our lives and a full you no longer need. Feel yourself relax and
exhaling and letting go until you feel a sense moon to do the work of releasing what surrender into the earth beneath you as you
of becoming more relaxed and present.” we no longer need,” believes Kirsty. just let go with every breath,” instructs Kirsty.
COULD
HELP YOU?
Seeking advice for sexual issues is no
longer taboo – here’s why everyone
should consider seeing a sex therapist
A
round 28% of Brits have challenges. These concerns may be physical,
seen a counsellor or such as the inability to become aroused, or
psychotherapist, a survey they may also be psychological concerns,
by the British Association such as anxiety, stress, and confidence issues.”
for Counselling found. But And there’s no need to worry about having
there’s still a type that many of us find scary to strip naked. “Sex therapy is a type of talking
or intimidating. That’s sex therapy – and while therapy,” says Annabelle. “It’s designed to help
the thought of talking to a stranger about the individuals and couples address medical,
most intimate parts of your life may seem psychological, personal or interpersonal
terrifying, it could be a huge help. Maybe factors impacting sexual satisfaction.”
your confidence levels have plummeted, While it might not always be a magic cure,
your desires have changed, or perhaps it’s definitely a great starting point. “The goal
your sex life has become non-existent.
Just like with any other health
concern, there are professionals out
there ready to listen to your worries
For some
and help you through them.
“For some people, sex is a
people, sex is
source of great anxiety and worry,”
says Annabelle Knight, sex and a source of
relationship expert with sexual
wellness brand Lovehoney. “Sex great anxiety
therapy is an integrative approach to
treating and eliminating underlying and worry
121
COULD SEX THERAPY HELP YOU?
You treat
the condition
by talking
through your
experiences,
worries and
feelings
122 PSYCHOLOGY NOW
COULD SEX THERAPY HELP YOU?
Is it embarrassing?
First things first, you don’t have to take
your clothes off (unless you’re looking for a
specialist treatment – see below). “The sex
therapist will not be having sexual relations
with anyone or showing anyone how to have
sex,” says Annabelle. While it’s natural to feel
embarrassed when talking about sex to a
stranger, it shouldn’t last. “The stigma that sex
therapy is embarrassing is out there, but it
should not prevent you from receiving the
help you need. First, sex is very personal,
private and intimate, and so it seems like
a strange thing to do – to talk with even
a psychotherapist specialising in sex.”
And, if you are embarrassed, keep
remembering that having sex therapy will
if you
be beneficial in the long term. “The benefits
of sex therapy far outweigh the initial
are embarrassed,
embarrassment that you might fear,” says
Annabelle. “Getting help for yourself, your keep remembering that
relationship, and your ability to enjoy sex
can have a positive impact on your life.” having sex therapy will be
Does a sex therapist touch you?
In rare cases, a sex therapist may touch
beneficial in the long term
you, but only with your permission. “Sex
therapists talk with their patients to help Going solo and family therapist, or clinical social
them confront their sexual problems and If your partner is refusing to see a sex worker,” says Annabelle. “These mental
improve their sex lives. But some patients therapist, that’s okay. “You do not have to health experts undergo extensive additional
need more – they need practise in the bring your partner with you to sex therapy. training in human sexuality in order to be
bedroom, and have no spouse or partner to For some individuals, solo sex therapy accredited as a certified sex therapist.”
© Gey Images / Nadzeya_Dzivakova / Anna Kondratenko
turn to,” says Annabelle. “For these patients, is adequate to address concerns. For Consulting your doctor can be a great
some sex therapists turn to surrogate others, having both people present during first step, because they might have
partners – people who help patients with therapy may help improve satisfaction sex therapists whom they value.
intimacy issues using a hands-on approach. and build a stronger connection,” says And, if you find you don’t connect with
This can include having sex with the patient.” Annabelle. “Talk with your partner about your therapist, feel free to go elsewhere.
It might sound shocking, but it could be your choice to begin therapy. If you “Therapists are unique,” says Annabelle.
a lifeline some people need. “Although use would like them to be involved, ask.” “Successful therapy depends largely
of surrogate partners is rare among patients on how well you communicate with
of both genders, they are increasingly Where to go your therapist and how much you trust
being used by women whose physical or Think a sex therapist could help you? Going them and their guidance to help you
mental health problems prevent them from to someone experienced and reputable is through your concerns. If you don’t
enjoying a healthy sex life, experts say. In essential. “A certified sex therapist can be a feel comfortable with a sex therapist
the past, such therapy was employed almost licensed psychiatrist, psychologist, marriage at any point, look for another.”
exclusively by men,” adds Annabelle.
EMBRACE THE
I
f you’ve ever fallen asleep to the Join the blue gym psychologically,” explains Dr Catherine
sound of the sea or been brave The great outdoors is a healthy place Kelly, geography academic and author of
enough to take an invigorating, to relax and recharge, as many of us Blue Spaces: How & Why Water Can Make
wild skinny-dip, you can’t deny discovered when embracing the goodness You Feel Better (£14.99 ($17.50), Welbeck).
the positive effects of being in of green spaces during the pandemic. But The concept of spending time in blue
and around water. The ancient Greeks along with fields, forests and our favourite space was introduced over a decade ago in
soaked in mineral-rich thermal springs parks, natural water is an element of the UK as an initiative by the Department
to help them feel better, and seaside trips mother nature that offers similar wellbeing of Health and Peninsula Medical School in
were oen prescribed by doctors during benefits. “The term ‘blue space’ is used Plymouth, and it’s since been championed
Victorian times. And it seems they were on to refer to our oceans, seas, rivers, lakes, by wellness experts and water-lovers as a
to something, because now there’s a body ponds, streams and waterfalls – but can very valid way to feel good. The overarching
of science-led evidence to prove that water actually include all kinds of water, and idea is that coastal and natural water
can indeed heal. Keen to learn more? Here’s research is increasingly showing how these environments – dubbed the ‘blue gym’ – can
how to ride the wave of ‘blue therapy’. watery spaces can help us physically and be used specifically to increase physical
activity, reduce stress and build stronger meaning we engage all of our senses when provides is undervalued and underutilised,”
communities. One study* found that living we are in it,” says Catherine Kelly. “We hear says Lizzi. “You soon realise that we are
near blue spaces, visiting them, or even the sounds of the water ebbing and flowing, part of an ecosystem, far from being
just enjoying a nice waterscape view, is we notice the colours of the sea or stream, disconnected and isolated, and that we
associated with a lower risk of depression, we can feel the sandy beach beneath our each have a contribution to make.”
anxiety and other mental health disorders, toes, smell the sea air or the wildflowers
as well as encouraging relaxation. along a canal bank, and we can taste the Body benefits of blue
salt on our skin aer a dip in the ocean.” Research reveals that spending time by
A space to switch off The outcome is positive. Busy minds water also encourages us to be more active,
Ocean advocate Lizzi Larbalestier says will quieten without effort and it’s possible whether that’s surfing the waves or having a
she feels deeply attached to the Cornish to have tangible and tactile experiences riverside stroll. “We then get all the physical
coastline, where she lives and works as a blue that are not mediated by technology. benefits associated with exercise, such as
health coach – helping others discover the “Water is medicine and in our fast-paced improved cardiovascular health, combating
wellbeing benefits of the sea (goingcoastal. world, the sense of peace and presence it osteoporosis and endorphin releases.
blue). “I see people arrive anxious and
stressed by the daily pressures of city life
and the digital world. Stepping into blue
space enables them to slow down, breathe
Being next to a large body
and awaken their senses, connecting with
a wider, more analogue world that has of natural water inspires
light, shade, colour and form,” she says.
The environment proves to be the perfect
antidote to time-pressured, device-driven
a sense of awe. Gazing at
lifestyles. “Blue space is a sensory landscape, the horizon gives a sense of
perspective on daily life
EMBRACE THE BLUE
Plus, the happy hormones, serotonin and and cortisol in the body
dopamine, rise when moving on, in or near can drop, breathing
water,” says Catherine. Tempted to take a regulates and the heart
dip? Studies show that swimming in natural rate slows, so in essence
water may help with anxiety and depression, we feel calmer and our
digestive issues and menopause symptoms. mood improves,” says
“Cold-water swimming stimulates the vagus Catherine. In this blue
nerve in the body, and this can induce an anti- mind state, it’s easier to
inflammatory response, which researchers practise mindfulness – water’s
are linking to improved health,” says meditative quality brings us into
Catherine. Visit outdoorswimmingsociety. the present moment and allows
com for tips on doing it safely. us to press pause on our worries.
“Being next to a large body of natural
Water for mental wellness water inspires a sense of awe. Gazing at
There’s a biological reason why respite and the horizon gives a sense of perspective
reflection become possible in blue spaces. on daily life and there’s a feeling of being
“Levels of the stress hormones adrenaline part of something bigger,” says Catherine.
5 WAYS TO SOAK
UP BLUE SPACE
SWITCHUPYOURWALKS
Blue space walking is a simple way you can connect with water. “Check an
online map to find your nearest water sources such as a river, lake or canal,
and factor them into your weekly walks,” says Catherine.
Not near the sea? Get a city fix
Urbanites can still seek refuge in blue space.
SOOTHEWITHSOUNDS “In towns and cities, you can walk by a
Listening to water inspires calmness, focus and creativity. Even the river or canal on the way to work, or find an
smallest garden or balcony has room for a baery-powered water outdoor fountain to sit by as you eat lunch,”
feature, or download an app that has sounds of the ocean. suggests Catherine. “If you deliberately notice
Try Naturespace (free on App Store and Google Play). the sight and sounds of moving water, you’ll
learn to tune out other stimuli. Focus on
relaxing your breathing and enjoy a moment
HAVEARESTORATIVEBATH of peace.” Many cities also have great outdoor
A relaxing dunk in the tub will deliver benefits, says Catherine. lidos, which offer the ‘fresh-air experience’
Add healing minerals that are found in seawater. while boosting social and physical wellbeing.
TAKEANENERGISINGSHOWER
As advocated by Wim Hof, aka The Ice Man, turn your shower to cold for an swimming in
invigorating blast that will stimulate anti-inflammatory action in the body.
“Start with 30 seconds for a few days, then build up to one minute, until you
natural water
© Gey Images / fitie, Shuerstock / Good Studio
can handle two or three minutes of completely cold water,” says Catherine. may help with
ENJOYAWATER-BASEDHOBBY
You don’t have to sail, surf or swim to have fun
anxiety and
around water. Try stand-up paddleboarding (SUP) – you can
do this on lakes and canals. Sketch or paint a sea view,
depression,
or take regular bike rides along a blue route. and menopause
symptoms
PSYCHOLOGY NOW 127
*International Journal of Hygiene and Environmental Health
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