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Making a General Confession

A general confession is the confession of all of one’s sins over the course of one’s life up to
the present time. It is made when a penitent wants to undergo a more thorough review and
purification, usually in preparation for a significant time of seeking the Lord or deepening conversion.
It is understood that the penitent has already confessed these sins previously. That said, current sins
should also be included, usually at the end.
In making a general confession, we are not re-forgiven for sins we’ve previously confessed.
The forgiveness we have already received is sufficient. Rather we are seeking a deeper contrition
(sadness for sin) along with a matured understanding of God’s mercy and healing power. A general
confession usually takes longer than an ordinary confession, so it is best to notify a priest of your
desire in advance. He may decide to schedule an appointment with you rather than direct you to one
of the customary times when confession is offered at the local parish.

How to Make an Examination of Conscience

1. Bring an Examination of Conscience (provided below), a Bible, note paper and a pen/pencil.

2. Find a quiet place to pray where you won’t be disturbed.

3. Ask God to be with you and to guide your reflections – especially ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
Something like: Lord, I know that without your mercy and redemption I am powerless over my
sins. I understand, too, that my sins wound you, and it was for these that you went to the cross.
Send your Holy Spirit to reveal to me my sins, faults, and careless transgressions so that I can
turn away from them, confess them, and receive your forgiveness and perfect mercy. Mary,
Mother of Mercy and friend of sinners: Pray for me.

4. If time permits, and if you find it helpful, look up Psalm 19:8-15, or Psalm 32 or 51. Read them out
loud as if addressing the Lord

5. Gather your thoughts and bring to mind, in a general way, what has happened since your last
confession. Take out your Review of Conscience and read it over slowly. Give the Holy Spirit a
chance to speak to your heart. As He brings sins to mind or as the things you read strike you,

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 write them down. If you have a question about something, make a note of it and ask the
priest.

Break it Down: Doing a Full Review of Life for a General Confession

Whether this is a general confession or you’ve been away from the sacrament of
reconciliation for a long time, you might find you have a lot of sin to reflect on. Don’t be
overwhelmed. Take it one step at a time:

A. Try breaking your life down into general sections – ex. early childhood & early school years,
teenage years and high school, college years/military service, work, moved to new location,
etc. (if it helps to write down headings on your note paper, do so.)

B. Go back over each section that you have listed and ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind whatever
sins were most prevalent in your life at these times. Be as honest as you can, but avoid being
overly scrupulous. For example, when confessing an on-going pattern of sin, rather than
saying “I missed Sunday mass 57 times,” you could explain, “Before I had a deeper conversion,
I stopped going to mass for several years during college…” You should confess sins by
number only when they are very serious sins like adultery, abortion, or murder.

C. Don’t be embarrassed to bring your list or notes into confession with you.

D. As stated above, when you have reflected on your life satisfactorily, contact your local parish priest
and make arrangements to make a general confession. If a priest is unwilling for some reason
to hear your general confession, try another parish until you find a priest who is available and
make an appointment. When you are done with confession, tear up your list! Jesus has
forgiven your sins!

Examination of Conscience
Using the 10 Commandments as our guide we reflect on our faults and failing before God. Be
confident in His mercy and His desire to forgive. Search your heart and ask for the ability to truly
repent – to turn away from – your sins. Jesus knows that you struggle, but He will help you if you ask
Him.

Important Note: Sins are not all the same. Some of the sins listed below are more serious than
others. A grave or mortal sin is a serious offense against God which you freely and knowingly
have committed. So, if you had no idea something was a sin (and honestly had no way of
knowing) then your guilt is much less. Same if you were somehow forced into a sinful situation
against your will -- you may have no guilt at all. If you have questions, feel free to ask the priest
or your discernment adviser.

1. I am the Lord your God.

You shall not have strange gods before me.
Do I give God time every day in prayer? Do I seek to love Him with my whole heart? Have I

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been involved in superstitious practices or have I been involved with the occult? Do I seek to
surrender myself to God’s word as taught by the Church? Have I ever received communion in a state
of mortal sin? Have I ever deliberately withheld a mortal sin from the priest in confession?

2. You shall not take the Lord’s name in vain.

Have I used God’s name carelessly or lightly? Do I deliberately hold any resentment or anger
toward God? Have I wished evil upon any person? Have I insulted a sacred person or a sacred object?

3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s day.

Have I deliberately missed Mass on Sundays or Holy days of Obligation? Have I tried to
observe Sunday as a day for spiritual renewal and rest?

4. Honor your father and your mother.

Do I honor and respect my parents? Do I try to bring peace to my family? Have I been
irresponsible in my duties as a member of my family? Have I brought unnecessary hardship or pain to
my family through any of my actions?

5. You shall not kill.

Have I had an abortion or encouraged anyone to have an abortion? Have I physically harmed
anyone? Have I abused alcohol or drugs? Did I give scandal to anyone, thereby leading them into sin?

6. You shall not commit adultery.

Have I engaged in any sexual activity outside of marriage? Have I used any method of artificial
contraception? Have I been guilty of masturbation? Have I deliberately consented to sexual fantasies
or thoughts. Have I respected all members of the opposite sex, or have I thought of other people as
sexual objects? Have I been involved in any homosexual activity?
Do I dress in an immodest way? (That is, do I wear things that are too revealing which can be a
temptation to others?) Do I read pornographic magazines, look at or watch movies or T.V. programs
that include sexually explicit material? Do I look at pornography on the internet?

7. You shall not steal.

Have I stolen what is not mine? Have I returned or made restitution (adequate compensation)
for what I have stolen? Do I gamble excessively? Do I pay my debts? Am I generous toward others,
especially the poor, with my material possessions?

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Have I lied? Have I cheated on a test or paper? Have I damaged someone’s reputation
because of my speech patterns? Have I gossiped? Am I critical, negative, or uncharitable in my
thoughts of others? Do I keep secret what should be kept confidential? Do I negatively judge people’s
motivations based on external perceptions or gossip?

9. You shall not desire your neighbor’s wife.

Do I deliberately attempt to attract others to me in an impure way? Am I envious of others’
relationships and friendships? (Envy means that I’m not just jealous, but that I actively try to

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undermine those relationships) Do I relate in an impure way to someone else’s spouse? Do I seek to
control my thoughts and imagination against sinful fantasies? Do I pray at once to banish impure
thoughts an temptations?

10. You shall not desire your neighbor’s goods.

Am I envious of what other people have? Am I greedy or selfish? Are material possessions the
goal of my life? Do I trust that God will care for all of my material and spiritual needs?

How to Make a Confession

1. Begin with the Sign of the Cross, then you may say, “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.
It’s been ______ (days, weeks, months, years) since my last confession.”

2. Priest will ask you to confess your sins in your own words.

3. Priest will give you words of encouragement and a penance.

4. Priest will invite you to say an Act of Contrition, a prayer in which you express sorrow for
your sins and your intention to avoid these sins in the future (see below).

5. Priest will pronounce the words of Absolution.

That’s it! If you are sincere, you’re forgiven!

An Act of Contrition
My God,
I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
In choosing to do wrong
and failing to do good,
I have sinned against you
whom I should love above all things.
I firmly intend, with your help,
to do penance,
to sin no more,
and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.
Our Savior Jesus Christ
suffered and died for us.
In his name, my God, have mercy.

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 (There are other Acts of Contrition, and you are welcome to use whichever form you
are comfortable with. You may also use your own words.)

Common Questions about Confession

How often should a Catholic go to confession?

The Catholic Church recommends that you go to confession monthly. If you are aware of
having a serious sin on your conscience, go as soon as you can. The absolute minimum is that
you confess your sins once a year. If you have grave sin on your conscience, it is a mortal sin to
fail to make your yearly confession. Also, it’s important that you not receive communion when you
are knowingly in a state of grave (mortal) sin. To do so would be a further grave sin (you still
should attend Mass, though).

Will I get in trouble if the priest finds out I’ve been negligent about going to confession?
No, the priest will probably be delighted to hear that you’re returning to the sacrament of
reconciliation. Pope Francis has made this a particular priority of his pontificate – to promote a
welcoming and joyful openness to people approaching the sacrament of confession.

What’s a “near occasion of sin?”

A near occasion of sin, mentioned in some Acts of Contrition, is a particular place, person,
or thing which frequently causes you to fall into temptation and sin. So, if you struggle with
alcoholism, it could be a party or a nightclub. If your weakness is pornography, it could be surfing
the web or too much idle time with the TV remote. Sometimes, it’s a situation that is unavoidable.
For example, if you have a bad relationship with someone in your family and you often argue and
say hateful things, don’t avoid the person. Instead, try to avoid the circumstances that lead you to
argue. Reflect on your patterns of thought and speech. Ask God to show you ways to nip
arguments in the bud, and to avoid subjects that could be explosive.

Are There Any Unforgivable Sins?

The Bible speaks of only one unforgivable sin, that is a particular kind of blasphemy called
the “sin against the Holy Spirit” (Mt. 12:31f; Mk 3:28f; Lk. 12:10). Traditionally, the Church has
identified this as the sin of refusing to accept that God has the power to forgive our sins. In other
words, God can’t forgive you if you willfully refuse to believe that He can. St. John Paul II wrote,
"According to such an exegesis, 'blasphemy' does not properly consist in offending against the
Holy Spirit in words; it consists rather in the refusal to accept the salvation which God offers to
man through the Holy Spirit, working through the power of the Cross", and "If Jesus says that
blasphemy against the Holy Spirit cannot be forgiven either in this life or in the next, it is because
this "non-forgiveness" is linked, as to its cause, to "non-repentance," in other words to the radical
refusal to be converted. This means the refusal to come to the sources of Redemption, which
nevertheless remain "always" open in the economy of salvation in which the mission of the Holy
Spirit is accomplished."1

1
St. John Paul II, Dominum et vivificantem #46, 1986, Vatican.va. Retrieved 2023-03-20.

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Do Priests Ever Refuse to Forgive People in Confession?
It’s very rare, but there are times when a priest will decide that a person is not sufficiently
sorry for his sins. The priest may also perceive that penitent has no intention to really repent or
change his life. When this happens, the priest can withhold absolution until a time when the
penitent shows genuine resolve to overcome the sin. For example, a man confesses the sin of
adultery. When the priest asks the nature of the sin and if the extramarital relationship is ended,
the man says that he’s in love with his mistress and he does not plan to end the relationship. In
this circumstance, the priest likely withholds absolution because he sees that there is no real
repentance going on since the penitent plans to continue in the sinful relationship.

What if I keep confessing the same sins over and over again?
As we mature in the spiritual life, it’s common to find habits of sin that are very hard to
change. Confessing them again and again can be discouraging. The saints say that God
sometimes permits us to struggle with certain sins to overcome other sins like pride. Don’t let
repetitive sins keep you from confession. The grace of the sacrament and a renewed effort to
resist the sin is an important means of gradually overcoming our weakness. Your priest is more
likely to sympathize with you than scold you for struggling against a particularly stubborn sin. All
God asks is an honest effort on our part, no matter how long it takes to win our freedom.

What if I’m nervous? Can I bring a friend?

It’s natural to be nervous, especially if it has been a long time since your last confession, or
if you’ve never done a general confession. You can ask a friend to come with you and wait with
you prior to your confession. Due to the strict confidentiality of the sacrament (something called
the “seal of confession”), he or she can’t go into the confessional with you. Your friend can,
however, be there for you when you get done! Plan on going out afterwards to celebrate – it’s a
great feeling to have all your sins forgiven!

When can I go to confession?

Confessions are usually offered weekly at your local parish. Check your church website or
bulletin for times. You can also call the parish office during weekdays and set up an appointment
with a priest.

What is “Scrupulosity?”
Scrupulosity (skroop-u-LOSS-ity) is excessive guilt or fear over the state of one’s soul.
People who struggle with scrupulosity think that God is almost always offended by them and
dwell continually on past sins and questions like, “Did I really feel sorry for my sins in my last
confession?” Needless to say, scrupulosity is a great trial because it tempts us to think of God as
condemning rather than forgiving and keeps us from accepting his great mercy. There are various
levels of scrupulosity from a general, on-going sense of guilt to an obsession with one’s own
sincerity or loyalty to God. It creates a cycle of self-condemnation. As one feels that “nothing is
ever good enough,” one’s inner resentment grows. The unrelenting guilt produces the feeling that
God is being unreasonable (though it is not God but a temptation from the Evil One). This
provokes a backlash reaction of “how could I question God?!” The person grows increasingly

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 burdened, saddened and moves toward despair.
Resisting scrupulosity takes patience and time. The reassurance of a trusted spiritual guide
is valuable, but because this is a temptation, the enemy knows how to shift his tactics. For
example, he may temporarily stop whispering the self-condemning thoughts to allow the memory
of the adviser’s reassurance to fade. Then, when the tempter perceives that our guard is down,
he’ll come on strong again. And, just to show his vindictiveness he will begin with a “set-up”
temptation or thought along the lines of, “Well, I guess I’ve finally beat this thing.” Our enemy
likes to use combination punches the way a boxer does. Remember, his goal is discouragement.
Scrupulous thoughts happen most often in quiet times, for example when going to sleep,
or again early in the morning. They are recognized by the feelings they produce: hopelessness,
heaviness a dark sense that “I’ll never get this right.” Note the enemy’s trick: the scrupulous
thoughts urge us towards good things not bad. We may, in fact, feel called to a very worthwhile
goal, but the inner turmoil the thoughts produce indicate that the source is not God.
God’s leadings produce peace, clarity and possibility. Even if we struggle with God’s will it
gives an inner sense of strength and awareness that one is not alone; that one has grace and
help. Scrupulous thoughts only lead downward toward discouragement. Gradually we learn to
“step off” the downhill slide. Here are a few tips to resist scrupulosity:
 Notice the feelings different patterns of thought produce. Work on focusing on
patterns of thought that are constructive, even if they are not specifically spiritual or
directed towards God.
 For a time you may need to check in more often with your spiritual adviser, so work
out a mutual understanding for how to do this.
 Do things that you enjoy – things in which there is nothing objectively wrong - even if
doing them triggers guilt feelings. If you second-guess yourself, you can make a note
to ask your adviser next time, but in general be willing to “disobey” those feelings of
guilt. It will be unpleasant at first.
 Most importantly, pray in spite of discouragement that Jesus will free you from
scrupulous thoughts. “In Jesus name, I renounce a spirit of scrupulosity. Lord Jesus I
believe in your mercy, help my unbelief!”
 For further help and insight read Achieving Inner Peace by Gerard Dowling.

“How do I know I’m really sorry?”

The remaining questions are answered from the book, “Seeking Spiritual Direction” by Fr.
Thomas Dubay, SM.

Q. How do we know that we are sincerely sorry, that we are not just going through a weekly or
monthly routine, that our act of contrition is more than mere shame or no more than a wish to be
better but with no real determination to change?

A. You have touched on the very heart of this sacrament. Our God is the God of authenticity. He
is not satisfied with appearances and poses. This is why Jesus was so hard on the Pharisees: they
were strong on externals but devoid of inner goodness and genuine sorrow. How do we know
our contrition is sincere? We need not foretell our future as to success in avoiding our faults, but
we must firmly intend to stop them. This implies the intention to take the means necessary to

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 overcome bursts of anger or impatience, to be resolute in avoiding what leads to impurity, to take
steps to give up vanity and laziness and idle talk and overeating. Repeated confession of these
sins with no real decision to stop them, to be firm about amendment, does one little or no
good.”2

What if the Church says it’s wrong, but I don’t feel it’s wrong?
Fr. Dubay writes: A. Many men and women are naive in trusting their own opinions...
many people have never received instruction in the principles of morality. Thus they are incapable
of forming consistently sound judgments about justice, charity, sexuality, speech, rights, and
duties. Hence, they fall back on their feelings and sympathies, both of which are notoriously prone
to being out of touch with reality. Then, too, many have erroneous (misguided) consciences
because they disregard the Church God has established to keep our minds morally clear and
correct: “Go therefore make disciples of all the nations...I am with you” (said Jesus to the apostles,
Mt. 28:19-20). When people reject the revealed assurance of right and wrong, what can they do
but succumb to their own inner darkness and woundedness?3

What is the difference between feelings and guilt?

About over-confessing, Fr Dubay writes: “I have met (many) well-intentioned men and women
who apparently have never heard a simple explanation, together with lucid examples, of the
differences between willing and feeling, the differences between temptations and guilt. They take
it for granted that to feel something deeply is to have willed it. For them strong feelings equal
guilt...It is often the case that people have never learned how to distinguish the one from the
other. One way to tell a mere feeling is that you cannot control it when you want to. Someone
annoys you and there arises within, often necessarily and without your wanting it, the inner
irritation we call impatience. There is no guilt in this inner surge because there is no free choice
about it. Once you realize it is there and can choose how you will react, reasonably or
unreasonably, you then act with freedom either in being harsh or gentle [this is where your guilt
or virtue is established].

Q. How about when I feel a strong dislike, an antipathy toward someone who rubs me the wrong
way? I don’t want the feeling of dislike or hatred, but I cannot get rid of it despite all my efforts.

A. Your trying to be rid of the antipathy is proof that your will is not in it. There is nothing to
confess, for there is no guilt. If on the other hand, you knowingly and thus freely are cold or
indifferent toward this person, you are guilty. But the feelings alone prove nothing.4

2
Thomas Dubay, S.M., Seeking Spiritual Direction, How to Grow the Divine Life Within, Servant Publications, Ann Arbor, 1993, pp. 237
3
Ibid. 235, 236
4
Ibid. 230-232

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