A Poor Man Reads Vol 2

A Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam
A Poor Man Reads

The Bhagavatam
Volume Two
First Canto
Chapters 3-4
Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

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CO NTENTS
Preface
C h a p te r T h r e e , co n tin u ed
K rsna Is the Source o f A ll In carn ation s 1
C h a p te r F o u r
T h e A p p earan ce o f Sri N ara d a 123
G lossary 348
A ckn ow ledgm en ts 360
Lord Siva recommends that, “O f all methods of worship, Visnu
worship is the best, and better than Visnu worship is to worship
His devotee or things in relation with Him.” Tadiyamm, that is
bhagavata. Here it is also said, tadiyamm, bhagavata-sevaya. This
book bhagavata , spoken by the devotee bhagavata— this should
be taken very seriously daily. Otherwise . . . we do not under
stand what is Bhagavan. Therefore it is recommended here:
nityam, daily, or constantly, twenty-four hours. We have to mold
our life in such a way that twenty-four hours, not a single
moment leaving aside, we should be engaged in bhagavata-
sevaya, in the service of Lord’s relations. The Srim ad -
Bhagavatam, Bhagavad-gita, the spiritual master, Tulasi-devi, the
temple, the preaching, the books— these are all bhagavata. So
nityam bhagavata-sevaya. Nasta-prayesu. If we engage ourselves
in this bhagavata-sevaya . . . Just like we are doing daily, trying to
read one verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam , discussing amongst our
selves. This is bhagavata-sevaya. Nityam, daily, regularly.
— Lecture on Bhag. 1.2.18, August 21, 1972, Los Angeles
O Ambarisa, it you wish to end your material existence, then

every day you should hear the Bhagai’atam that was narrated by
Sukadeva, and you should also recite it yourself.
— Padma Purana, quoted in Sri Tattva Sandarbha by
Srila Jiva Gosvami, Anuccheda 20.5
Preface
I am w riting th is preface especially for readers w ho m ay com e

to V olum e Tw o o f A Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam w ithout
h av in g read the introductory m aterial in Volum e O n e. In
V olum e O n e, I described how I was yearning for a long-term
K rsna co n scious w riting project. K rsna sent this project to m e in
answ er to my prayers w hile visitin g V rn davan a in January 1996;
it is H is m ercy an d the mercy o f S rila Prabhupada.
M uch o f the w riting I h ave been doin g in the last ten years
has been p ractice and preparation for A Poor M an Reads the
Bhagavatam. I w an t to write ph ilosoph ical purports expressing
S rila Prabh upada’s teach in gs in my ow n words. I th in k o f this as
“straigh t p reach in g,” m uch as on e m ight do w hen lecturin g on
the vyasasana. A t the sam e tim e, I desire to write som eth ing per
son al, push in g the boundaries o f honesty an d spon taneity b e
yond th eir norm al bounds, an d certainly beyond the form al or
official bounds o f a lecturer’s presentation. T h is can be co m
pared to the difference betw een talks betw een teach er and stu
d en t and talks betw een friends. I like to th ink o f this as the
“ talk” (flow o f con sciousn ess) o f an aspiring d evotee who adm its
to h im self who he really is an d then works to im prove.
In the past, I h ave w ritten books on both ends o f the spec
trum, books I con sider “ straight preach ing,” such as the co m
m entaries on Narada-bhakti Sutra and Niti Sastras, and books I
con sider m ore free an d spontaneous, such as Radio Shows or
Shack Notes. In A Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam I h ave d is
covered a way to blend both approaches in on e book. I stay
strictly under the shelter o f S rila Prabh upada’s purports and
th en express m yself in diary fashion , w hich includes con fes
sion al w riting, w hat I call “ autom atic w riting,” poetry, and play.
M y form at is as follows:
I read the verse and purport, paraphrase the contents, repeat
teach in gs Srila Prabhupada gave on th at particular subject,
som etim es rem em ber incidents where 1 was present with him
w hen he gave those teachings, then turn to free-writing and
sketch in g, and then go on to the n ext Snmcul'Bhcigavatain verse.
I feel a deep satisfaction and gratitude to be engaged in this
project, an d I w ant to show K rsna th at I am earnest about it so
H e w on’t take it away from me. By writing this book, I w ant to
please K rsna, Prabhupada, and their devotees, and at the sam e
tim e w rite w ith integrity.
A lso, w riting on the Bhagavatam them es is h elping me to
appreciate more w hat is being taught in the Bhagavatam. I am
feelin g purified by my association with the Bhagavatam , and
especially with Prahhupada’s purports, and therefore, I offer
Srila Prabhupada my hum ble obeisances. I also offer my obei-
san ces to the Snm ad-Bhagavatam itself, and to Lord K rsna who
is the o b ject and goal o f the Bhagavatam. 1 pray the readers will
be blessed with Bhdgavatam-kathd as they read this book.
— February 15, 1996, Ekadasi

H are K rishna Land, M um bai, India
11
CHAPTER THREE
(continued)
Krsna Is the Source of All Incarnations
Text 28
ete cdmsa-kaldh pumsah

krsnas tu bhagavan svayam
indrari'Vydkulam lokarh
mrdayanti yuge yuge
A ll o f the above-m entioned in carn atio n s are either plenary

portion s or portion s of the plenary p ortion s of the L o rd , but
L o rd S ri K rsn a is the original P erso n ality o f G o dh ead. A ll of
them ap p ear on plan ets w henever there is a distu rban ce created
by the ath eists. T h e L o rd in carn ates to protect the th eists.
Comment
T h is verse is the mahdvakya, the m ost con clusive statem ent,
o f the entire Srimad-Bhdgavatam. W hile Srila Prabhupada has
said th at each and every word o f the Bhagavatam is im portant,
the mahdvakya is the em peror verse th at rules all kings. In this
verse, K rsna is distinguished from the oth er in carn ation s; H e is
the origin al Suprem e Personality o f G o d h ead.
A t the sam e tim e that H e is different from other in carn a
tions, K rsna is one o f the avataras because like the others He
appears on schedule. T h u s we have found H im listed as num ber
20 on this particular list of principal in carn ation s, and He is said
to be scheduled to appear at the end o f D vapara-yuga. A s with
2 A Poor Man Reads The Bhagavatam
all in carn ation s, K rsna com es to fulfill a m ission. It’s not th at to

prove H is p osition as the origin o f all oth er in carn ations H e has
to appear first on the list at the begin n in g o f Satya-yuga. Rather,
H e is eternally the original, and by H is arrangem ent, the ava-
taras appear and disappear over time.
W h en the Suprem e Lord appears as an avatara, H e displays
w h atever sakti is required for the particular m ission at hand.
Prabh upada com pares this to the electric pow erhouse, w hich
can sim ultaneously m anifest sm all am ounts o f power in order to
fuel light bulbs, or large am ounts o f pow er to keep a w hole fa c
tory running. W h atever pow er is required is m anifest, and the
full pow er rem ains in the pow erhouse itself. G re at pow er was
n eeded in order to subdue the dem on H iranyakasipu. T herefore,
K rsna descen ded as Lord N rsim h ad eva in order to cut that d e
m on to pieces.
K rsn a’s identity as the original G o d h ead and the source o f all
in carn atio n s is a m atter o f fact. In H is original form as Krsna,
H e displays a hundred percen t o f H is powers as the all-attractive
Suprem e Person. W hen H e com es as Lord R am a, H e ch ooses to
act perfectly w ithin the confines o f the dharma set for a hum an
king; w hen H e appears as N arad a or Buddha, H e displays the
q uality o f bein g able to create faith in others; but w hen He
appears as Lord K rsna, H e does n ot confine H im self to hum an
m orality. R ather, H e does everything according to H is own
enjoym ent.
In his purport, Prabhupada em phasizes th at K rsna’s pastim es
w ith the gopls are the highest display o f H is independence and
opulence: “ . . . H e is the source o f all oth er incarnations. A n d
the m ost extraordinary feature exh ibited by Lord S ri Krsna was
H is in tern al energetic m an ifestation o f H is pastim es with the
cow herd girls.” H ow wrongly people m isjudge Krsna w hen they
m istake H is pastim es with the gopis for m undane sexual affairs!
People w ho m ake this m istake often prefer K rsna’s m an ifesta
tion o f the universal form to H is m ost suprem e madhurya aspect.
Krsna Is the Source of All Incarnations 3
K rsna m akes various statem en ts in Bhagavad-gita w hich c o n

firm H is suprem acy. Mattah parataram nanyat, “T h ere is n o truth
superior to M e.” Aham sarvasya prabhavo, “ I am the source o f all
spiritual an d m aterial w orlds.” In the very first verse o f Srimad -
Bhagavatam it is declared th at K rsna, the son o f V asudeva, is
svarat, suprem ely independent. T h a t is the defin ition o f G o d :
on e w ho needs n o oth er existen ce bu t is eternally, suprem ely
the source o f all existen ce.
Prabh upada m en tion s th at K rsn a’s sixty-four qualities (as
they are listed in The Nectar of Devotion) are qualities th at oth er
in carn ation s, an d even ordinary living beings, can display to
som e sm all degree. A m ost perfected jiva like Lord B rahm a can
show seven ty-eight p ercen t o f K rsn a’s qualities, although those
can be m anifested only in part. E ven fully em pow ered V isnu
in carn atio n s do n ot possess four o f the qualities w hich are pre
sen t in V raja K rsna alone.
K rsn ad asa K av iraja also discusses this mahdvakya verse in the

seco n d ch ap ter o f the Caitanya<aritdmrta's AdiAila. T h ere,
K rsn adasa K av iraja G o sv a m i proves th at K rsna is the Suprem e
form o f B h agavan . T h e n he establish es th at S ri K rsna is nondif-
ferent from Lord C aitan y a:
“T h e Bhagavatam describes the sym ptom s an d deeds o f the
in carn atio n s in general and coun ts S ri K rsna am ong them . T h is
m ade S u ta G o sv am i greatly apprehensive. T herefore he d istin
guished each in carn atio n by its specific sym ptom s.” (C c . Adi
2 .6 8 -6 9 ) A fte r givin g the list, S u ta G o sv am i m ade it perfectly
clear th at alth ough K rsna appears as a m em ber on the list, H e is
actually the source o f all the avataras an d all the qualities th at
T h ey h ave displayed.
K rsn adasa K av iraja G o sv am i im agines an op pon en t to his
argum ent w ho m ay say, “T h is is your interpretation, but actually
the Suprem e Lord is N arayan a, who is in the tran scen dental
realm .” (C c . Adi 2 .7 1 ) T h is line o f th ought is actually taken up
by m ost H indus, w ho im agine that K rsna is an in carn ation of

M ah avisn u. T h e y decide either th at V isnu is the Suprem e G o d ,
or th at V isnu is on e o f m any dem igods. O f course, it would fo l
low th at K rsna is also a dem igod.
T h e d iction ary defines K rsna as one o f the im portant and
popu lar in carn ation s o f Visnu. T herefore, it is crucial to un der
stan d the m essage o f text 28. A s Srila Prabhupada com m ents,
“T h is sta te m e n t o f Srim ad'Bhdgavatam (1 .3 .2 8 ) defin itely
negates the co n cep t th at Sri K rsna is an avatara o f V isnu or
N ara y a n a . L ord S ri K rsn a is the origin al P erso n ality o f
G o d h ead , the suprem e cause o f all causes.” (C c . Adi 2.67, pur
port) K rsn ad asa K aviraja G o sv am i analyzes the gram m atical
co n stru ction o f this Srimad-Bhagavatam verse and proves th at it
w ould be fallacious to assum e th at K rsna is one o f the m any
in carn atio n s listed. “A n interpretation is never accepted as e v i
dence if it opposes the principles o f scripture.” (C c . Adi 2.73)
S in c e so m any scriptural statem en ts refer to K rsna as the origi
nal Personality o f G o d h ead , it is unwise to interpret other scrip
tural statem en ts otherw ise.
K rsn ad asa K av iraja also argues, “O n e should n ot state a pred
icate before its subject, for it can n ot thus stan d w ithout proper
support.” (C c . Adi 2 .7 4 ) A cco rd in g to the rules o f San skrit
gram m ar, th e predicate o f a sentence is stated only after the sub
je c t is given. For exam ple, w hen we say, “T h is vipra is a greatly-
learn ed m an ,” vipra is the subject and the erudition is his pred
icate. First a person is identified, then his erudition. In this
verse, all the in carn ation s have been nam ed, but we h av en ’t yet
been told whose in carn ation s they are. A s we read the list, we
see th at K rsna is coun ted am ong the in carn ation s, but here in
th is verse, we h ear ete camsa-kaldh purhsah krsnas tu bhagavan
svayam. First K rsna is m entioned, and then H is identity as the
Suprem e Personality o f G o d h ead is explain ed. “H ad K rsna been
the plenary portion and N arayan a the prim eval Lord, the sta te
m ent o f S u ta G o sv am i would h ave been reversed. T h u s he
w ould h av e said: ‘N arayan a, the source o f all in carn ation s, is the

original Personality o f G o d h ead . H e has appeared as S ri K rsn a.’ ”
(C c . Adi 2.84—8 5 ) S in ce there can n ot be m istakes in the co m p o
sition o f scripture, there is no m istake in this statem en t.
Diary, Little Life, etc.

I am happy to be here— or
anyw here— w riting on Bhag-
avatam. A ll I h ave ju st put here
on the mahdvakya verse is a lit
tle gloss on an im portant topic.
R eaders will already be fam iliar
with the arguments, but it is im
portan t th at devotees study the
argum ents so th at they d o n ’t
becom e bew ildered by the th e
ories o f others. M ost H indus,
m isled by swam is an d scholars,
th ink th at K rsna is ju st one o f m any gods or in carn ation s. We
know otherw ise, an d our know ledge rests m ainly on the author
ity o f th is Srimad-Bhdgavatam verse.
M ost o f us d o n ’t find it necessary to keep bringing this verse
to the forefront o f our devotio n al service. M ost o f us h ave already
accep ted the argum ents and K rsna as the Suprem e Lord. We pre
fer to discuss K rsn a’s pastim es am ong like-m inded devotees. We
w ant to serve Lord K rsna, ch an t H is holy nam es, see H is Deity
form , an d perform d evotion al activities. Because we need to
preach, however, we need to understand these argum ents.
A h , I w ish it were true th at I reveled in S ri K rsna’s qualities,

but my m in d goes off, distracted by the electric pow er drill in the
street ev en at m idn igh t on Juhu B each (road repair, I h ave heard)
an d a tiny m osquito w hining in my ear. R em em bering the trucks
carrying p in k on ion s from the “on ion b elt” o f M adhya Pradesh
o n th at thirteen-hour drive? W h at a waste o f tim e th at drive

was. Anyw ay, our arrival was filled w ith relief.
W h at w as I goin g to say? I was going to repeat, “Krsnns
tu bhagavan svayam.” I was saying th at I’m glad to be here, up
early, co m m en cin g a new volum e o f A Poor M an Reads the
Bhagavatam.
I w ould like to go an d sit in Prabh upada’s room s on the fifth
floor o f this tower, to sit before his full-sized murti. I sat there
w hile w riting the Bom bay poem s in Remembering Srila Prabhu'
pada. S ittin g there helps m e to focus o n asking Prabh upada’s
perm ission an d blessings to write. T o g et in to th at room , h ow
ever, I h ave to find th e person w ith the key an d figure ou t w hen
I can be there w hen n o one else is there. It’s a ritual in a way, to
go before th at murti and ask his perm ission, because I h ave
Prabh upada sittin g right here w ith m e in th is room . I ask my
murti to please tolerate the fact th at yesterday I was unable to
bathe h im or ch an ge his clothes. It was such an unusual day,

w ith th irteen hours o f car travel over bad roads. G o d , it was a
hard haul, an d I was so relieved to arrive. I did offer Prabhupada
the E kadasi lunch th at som eone cooked.
Krsnas tu bhagavan svayam. We can develop som e o f Sri

K rsn a’s qualities. H e ’s the on e Suprem e Lord. W h en we see
R am a, we can think, “ D ear Lord K rsna, w hat a powerful and
attractiv e form You h ave taken as Lord R am a.” S ri K rsna is our
ista-devata.
“O h , oh, oh, oh, oh, you beautiful,
you great big beautiful
d o ll!”— sings the pop lyricist.
I sing too, and m oan, and utter
busily with my secretary
abo u t visas for the Irish lad, and ticket changes,
British A irw ays, travels to A m erica,
and the m illions o f other things
we need to do— buy churna for
d igestion , m edicine for
h eadach es. (It may
revolutionize my life if it
isn’t habit-form ing.)
S o m any th in gs whirl
in my puppy brain, and
the tem ple schedule,
goin g for mangala-arati.
A spiel, a run-on sen ten ce— the facts o f a life o f spirit, dif
fuse, profuse.
W h at relief! W hile traveling yesterday I dictated letters
above the noise and rattle o f the car, but I was feeling, “ Dear
C o rresp on den t, it’s so hard to say som eth in g w orthw hile. Please
read my books. T h ey are a more com plete letter to you. I
em pathize w ith the fact th at you w ant the best education for
your grow ing children, I appreciate that you h ave to research
the w orld’s gurukulas, and th at you m ay have to uproot yourself

if the ch ildren are goin g to atten d your choice o f school, but
how can I be expected to m ake such decisions for you? H ow can
I decide w hether a brahmacari should go on serving in Sicily or
m ove to M ayapur? Better you read my books to better under
stan d w hat I can give you.”
A n d in “ my book s,” w hat is there except a spark o f Prabhu-
pad a’s books? W h at h ave I to add to krsnas tu bhagavan svayam ?
1 h ave flowers at his feet.
S k in n y M erink and his even skinnier
friend, tan n ed and arrived from
som ew here vague in India on narrow
roads to show up at big front
door o f IS K C O N M um bai and
krsnas tu bhagavan svayam.
W e are goin g through the Srimad-Bhagavatam. W e are o p en
ing a bo ttle shop specializing in mahdvakya verses. We are p u t
ting the (n on -alcoh olic) wine in new bottles.
“Yes, we h ave n o ban an as,

we h ave no ban an as today”—
an oth er 1940s song. I
m en tion it here because
the spirit is in m e, in
black ink.
I’ll get through. Past
th at ja ck ham m er,
I’ll get through.
You’ll see.
I’ll reacn G o lo k a V rn davan a.
I’m sure.
Text 29
jan m a guhyam bhagavato

ya etat prayato narah
sayam pratar grnan bhaktya
duhkha-gramad vimucyate
W h oever ca refu lly recites th e m y sterio u s ap p earan ces o f the

L o rd , w ith d evotio n in the m orn in g an d in the even in g, gets
relief fro m all m iseries o f life.
Comment
S rila Prabhupada refers to Bhagavad'gitd verse 4.9, janm a
karma ca me divyam, w hich is sim ilar to this Srimad-Bhagavatam
verse. If you know o f the in carn ation s, why T h ey appear and the
nature o f T h e ir activities, you becom e free o f duhkha-gramat,
m aterial m iseries. Bhagavad-gita 4-9 n ot only speaks o f m iseries in
this life, but relief from h avin g to return to the m aterial world o f
birth an d death.
T h is proves th at the avataras are n ot ordinary. O therw ise,
how could hearin g about T h em h ave such potency? A s stated
earlier, “W h o is there, desiring deliveran ce from the vices o f the

age o f quarrel, w ho is n ot w illing to hear the virtuous glories o f
the Lord?” (Bhdg. 1.1.16) T h e sam e is true o f the Lord’s holy
n am e: “Livin g beings who are entangled in the com plicated
m eshes o f birth and death can be freed im m ediately by even
unconsciously ch an tin g the holy nam e o f K rsna, w hich is feared
by fear personified.” (Bhdg. 1.1.14)
T h e appearance o f the avataras is described as m ysterious.

O n e has to study it carefully and deeply, with sincerity and d e v o
tion. C o n sid er each o f these words because Srila Prabhupada
d oesn ’t ch oose them cheaply. We should hear Bhagavatam with
depth, d evotion , and sincerity if we w ant to get the result. “ H ear
ing the Bhagavatam m eans more th an sim ply atten din g a class.
O f course, even som eone who atten ds a class gets ben efit.” Pra
bh u pada said th at even the cockroaches in the walls at 26
S eco n d A ven ue benefited by hearing the kirtana. We h ave to
enter into the m ysteries and hear w ith our hearts.
S rila Prabhupada m akes it sound enticin g. W hat is this d e v o
tion th at can com e from reciting this ch apter of the Bhagavatam ?
W h at is th at depth o f mystery w hich is to be understood? D oes
one w ho worships the L ord ’s in carn ation s com e to understand
the h idden reasons for T h e ir particular appearance? D oes the list

reveal a h idden m ean in g for each unique in carn ation— the inner
m ean in g o f Ja m ad a g n i’s power to kill disobedien t kings, N arad a
and B u d d h a’s ability to create faith in the m asses, R am a and
D h an v an tari’s fam e? By h earing carefully, will we be able to see
the beauty o f Balaram a, M oh in i, and V am ana? W ill the tran
scen den tal know ledge given by D attatreya, M atsya, Kurm a, and
K ap ila suddenly enligh ten our hearts? W ill we be able to see
into and actually practice the renu n ciation exh ibited by N ara-
N arayan a? A n d w hat about th at m ost extraordinary feature o f all,
th at m anifested by the prim eval Lord Sri Krsna: “H is internal
energetic m an ifestation o f H is pastim es with the cowherd girls” ?
A lth o u g h Prabhupada w ent over the list o f principal incar
n atio n s carefully, he d id n ’t em phasize th at we have to w orship
all o f the in carn ation s. H e em phasized only the source o f the
in carn ation s. T h erefore, the im plication in text 29 is th at we are
better o ff spen d in g our tim e h earing with d evotio n about the
birth an d activities o f the Suprem e Personality o f G o d h ead , Sri
K rsna. T h is is an oth er mystery, an oth er depth to the con fiden
tial know ledge offered w ithin the greater instruction. K rsna is
the source o f all in carn ation s. It stan ds to reason th at we should
w orship H im in H is original form. W hy go to a plenary part
w hen the full m an ifestation is present before us, inviting us?
A s for the inner m ean in g w ithin the appearance o f S ri Krsna
H im self ( “ the m ost extraordinary feature” ), th at is som eth in g to
w hich we can aspire to understand, but gradually. In approach
ing m adhurya-rasa, we h ave to read with depth and devotion,
but it also requires spotless purity to understand the mystery o f
the lovin g service exch an ges betw een K rsna and the gopis. Srila
Prabh upada has m en tion ed several tim es th at the Bhagavatam is
designed for progressive realization o f K rsn a’s sm iling face (th e
T en th C a n to ). T herefore, verse by verse, we are guided gradually
by the tw in bhagavatas (pure devotee and book) to V raja Krsna.
E ach bit o f inform ation we gather, each teach in g by each
in carn atio n or devotee, is m ean t to keep us on the progressive

p ath to V rn davan a. Prabhupada states in the Preface, “ It should
be gone through ch apter by chapter, one after another. T h e
reading m atter is so arranged w ith the original San sk rit t e x t . . .
th at one is sure to becom e a G od-realized soul at the end o f fin
ishing the first nine can tos. T h e T enth C a n to is distin ct from
the first nine can tos because it deals directly w ith the tran scen
den tal activities o f the Personality o f G o d h ead , S ri K rsna.”
H ey m an, this is good

stuff! Better than sweet tapi
oca on an Ekadasi m orning,
and m uch better than rasa-
gullas no m atter how well
they are m ade. Infinitely
b etter th an co ok ies and
apple pie.
T h ey say a yogi should
eat m oderately. H e should
eat to live, n ot live to eat.
Live for a devotee m eans hearing about Krsna. I say a devotee
should n ot be m oderate in his intake o f krsna'katha. O brothers,
take to your full satisfaction!
M orn in g and evening,
the mysteries.
T h o se who can n ot enter com plain,
“ It’s ordinary philosophy,”
and som etim es we com plain too. We
w ant more nectar, raganuga practice,
V raja, n ot D h an van tari
or Parasuram a, A rjun a.
H ow can we com plain?
B etter to hear, learn

the co n n ection , the mystery— how this
world leads to that,
how the current o f pastim es
relieves our distress
and delivers us to happiness w ithin the self.
T h e m ysterious in carn ation s are revealed to the devotees.

W ere you there w hen they crucified my Lord?
W ere you there
w hen those m ysterious in carn ation s . . . ? H an d works and
back h un ch es into a sch olar’s slouch — I practice no asanas these
days. (H e kn ocked at the door and w alked in. 1 said, “D o n ’t you
know th is is my writing tim e? U n less it’s an em ergency . . . ” and
th en he backed out.)
T h e y brought up an old, heavy, m anual typewriter. O ld type
writers are disappearing from this earth in favor o f com puters. I
will go out com puter illiterate.
I do say foolish things in public, and in print 1 relax.
T h e y ’re starting up a Prabhupada bhajana over the loud-
speaker. W hy n ot? It drow ns out the crows, car horns, ch ildren ’s
yells, people passing in the streets.
S till tired from car travel. Henry Piggens put his duffel bag on
the ground and said, “W hew, let’s ch ange our perspective.”
W e race to avoid truths. My hand races to tell them. T hough as
tim e goes by, it may tend to reveal stuff I was not even aware of. Yes.
Butterfly on hand. C a r horn. N eedle wax. Gopis in midriffs. O ld
gopis. A black rat here many years ago. Telegraph m essages d on ’t
have to be com plete. Trust readers are smart enough to get it.
H e asked, “W h at is your drive to write and encourage us?”
I said, “You can keep a d evotee’s diary.” A hundred people
heard me say it. “W hen you vom it, you may think o f K rsna and
say, ‘K rsna, this body is m iserable! I ca n ’t enjoy it! I w ant o u t!” ’
I saw a young Indian girl laugh in appreciation.
T ip W riter, T ip O ’N eal, tip off, tip the scales. I am alone w ith

the curtain s drawn. A d m it som ething. W hen I say “sordid life,”
the in n ocen t typist types “sorted life.”
T je S '
S h W *?
w e lte r
w -
Manual Typewriter
T h is is a m anual typewriter, so d o n ’t exp ect m uch. T h e keys
will probably get stuck if I try to go too fast, and it m akes a ter
rible grinding soun d w hen I return the carriage. W ho cares? Ju st
plug away.
T h e in carn ation s: hear with faith. Put yourself in the position
where you h ave to hear, then trust th at good will com e o f it. (A t
least the ribbon prints dark, better th an th at G odrej m onster at
the last place.)
K rsna is original. W h at I said in my little gloss is m uch more
valuable th an w hat I am saying now, yet w ithout this, I’d have
n o book delivered from myself. We are each a person in our own

right. T h e flavors o f th at person a.re lim ited, n ot like K rsna’s,
n ot even like B askin & R ob b in s’ 128 flavors o f ice cream .
K rsna is infinite. I’m typing on borrowed tim e, so I’ll take
ju st an oth er fifteen m inutes. T h e typew riter’s on borrow ed tim e
too. H ow lon g can this grinding sound possibly keep up before
the gears disintegrate?
H ere there are no highw ay laws, no peddlar laws, no sewage
laws, n o h ealth restrictions. You can set up a business selling tea
and cookies right n ext to the raw sewage flow ing through the
gutter and no one will com plain. T h ere are also no laws against
spiritual hearing. If a sadhu speaks, m any will com e to hear day
and n igh t the guhyam topics o f Srimad-Bhagavatam.
Text 30
etad rupam bhagavato

hy arupasya cid-atmanafy
mdya-gunair viracitarh
mahadadibhir atmani
T h e co n cep tio n o f the v irat u n iv ersal form o f th e L o rd ,

a s ap p earin g in th e m aterial w orld, is im aginary. It is to
en ab le th e less in telligen t [an d n eop h ytes] to a d ju st to the
idea o f th e L o r d ’s h avin g form . B u t fa ctu ally the L o rd h as no
m aterial fo rm .
Comment
T h e universal form was n ot m en tion ed in the list o f prin ci
pal in carn ation s. It was described in text 3 o f this ch apter as an
“opposite co n cep tion o f the A b so lu te,” necessary for beginners
to learn to co n cen trate their m inds on the Suprem e Lord’s
energy. Prabhupada said it was con ceived especially for the
im personalists who can n o t con ceive o f the tran scendental form

o f G o d . A t least they can begin a kind o f worship by thinking of
the m aterial universe as the Lord’s gigan tic body. T h a t im agined
body— the mahatattva— is n ot an eternal, spiritual form o f the
Suprem e Being. T h e Suprem e Person, w hether as K rsna or one
o f H is in carn ation s, is always transcendental with no tain t of
m aterial energy in Him .
S rila Prabhupada clearly states th at the visva-rupa is im agi
nary, n ot factual. “T h e conclusion is th at the m aterial co n cep
tion o f the body o f the Lord as virat is imaginary. Both the Lord
and the living beings are living spirits and h ave original spiritual
bo d ies.”
T h is does n ot m ean th at the planets, m ountains, trees, rivers,
skies, and so on are imaginary. T h ey all com e from G o d , who is
real and eternal. T h ey are not unreal, but temporary. W hen a
m editator thinks o f the planets as being located on the Lord’s
feet or thighs, or the m ountains being H is bones, he is using his
creative im agin ation to face the im plications o f personalism .
T h e universal form is not eternal, yet it is based on the fact that
G o d and H is energy are one (sim ultaneously one and different
as superior and inferior m anifestations o f the absolute).
N o t only is the m aterial form o f G o d imaginary, but the asat
nature o f the em bodied souls is imaginary. T h e soul is always
eternal. A n y form th at com es and goes is n ot eternal atma.
H ow m editation on the universal form is the first step in G o d
realization will be expressed more fully in the Seco n d C a n to . A t
least theoretically, we may understand th at this m editation may
free us from pantheism and im personalism . S till, there is the
dan ger th at we m ight becom e agnostics or B rahm avadls if we
rem ain fixed only on the con cep t o f the universal form and
d o n ’t discover K rsna’s actual spiritual forms that lie behind it.
S rila Prabhupada m entions this danger in his purport to Bg.
4.10. H e calls it a disease th at prevents us from know ing Krsna:
“G enerally, people w ho are attach ed to the bodily co n cep tion of
Krsna Is the Source of AH Incarnations 17
life are so absorbed in m aterialism th at it is alm ost im possible for

them to understand how the Suprem e can be a person. . . . For
such m aterialistic m en, the form o f the gigantic m aterial m an i
festation is suprem e.” In order to becom e free o f this con ception
and w hatever obstacles to personalism we face, we m ust take
com plete shelter o f the Lord, guided by a bon a fide spiritual
m aster, and follow the regulative principles o f devotion al ser
vice. O n ly then can we be raised to the stage o f transcendental
love o f G o d (bhava).
N everth eless, the liberal m other Vedas provides the opportu
nity to begin a prelim inary worship. S h e also provides opportu
nities for purification for those in the lower m odes, those who
ap proach dem igods to fulfill their m aterial desires, those who
w orship the self as suprem e, and those who con centrate on
Brahm an. Each o f these m editation s or form s o f w orship is
m ean t to be aban don ed as one reaches the perfection o f bhakti.
S o m uch for them guys who m editate on the universal form.

It has n oth in g to do with us bhaktas, right? Instead, we think of
K rsna even though we h ave been up since 10 P.M. because o f the
m osquitoes and the jack h am m er in the street. W e’re n ot a t
tach ed to the universal form. It’s too th eoretical for us. O ur
problem s are bigger: how to sleep despite the m osquitoes,
w hether to use the “G o o d K n igh t” m osquito m at to kill the lit
tle critters . . . We are coping.
W ell, should we be arrogant enough to pat ourselves on the
back because we are above the universal form m editation? I
d o n ’t even know any U.F. m editators, unless you w ant to count
those who w orship N ature. But m ost o f them ju st love the birds
and the sky and d o n ’t worry too m uch how they got there or
w hat they’re for.
Truthfulness
I was invited to speak at IS K C O N Chow patty, where the sch ed
uled Bhagavatam verse is in the seven teen th ch apter o f the First
C a n to . T h ere, Prabhupada discusses the four principles o f reli
gion. T h erefore, I took the opportunity to speak on truthfulness.
Prabhupada defines truthfulness in two basic ways. O n e is the
practice o f sacrifice or yajiia. In every religion there is som e form
o f sacrifice, and in Kali-yuga, the sacrifice is sankirtana. T h e re
fore, truthfulness m eans to execute this yajiia and n ot to n eglect
it. H e also defin es truthfulness as n ot being h ypocritical. I dwelt
on this defin ition in the Bhagavatam class I gave and hinted at
how we could practice it. We c a n ’t be personally truthful by
alw ays goin g along with w hat everyone else does. Truthfulness
is in dividual and requires introspection and an alert conscience.
It m ay involve confession, so th at’s why it’s good to have a co n
fiden tial relation sh ip w ith at least one trusted devotee and with
the spiritual master. W e should be com pletely h on est in those
relationships.
Truthfulness, personal honesty, is an integral part o f A Poor
M an Reads the Bhagavatam. I con stan tly explore this them e, how
after we give the “perfect parampara" lecture, we h ave to co n
tinue to be h on est. S om etim es I seem to say th at we are more
h on est w hen we are on our own, th in kin g and expressing our
selves w ithout the restraint o f being V yasadeva’s perfect repre
sen tative. I w ant to ask m yself in a private hour, w ithout c e n
sors, social fear, or in stitution al pressure, “H ow do I actually
feel? W h at is my truth? D o I really love Srimad-Bhagavatam and
K rsna? If n ot, why not? W hat do I w ant to do? W ho am I?” S u ch
n aked exp loration o f personal truth can n ot be always practiced
w hen we are busy repeating w hat the parampara has said. A t
least n ot if we h av en ’t fully realized their words.
O n the oth er hand, it could be argued th at w hen we give lec
tures, we’re m ore truthful th an afterwards. W h en we stick to the
sastra, th en certainly our words will be true. If we seek truth ou t
side the bounds o f sastra, we m ay find it elusive. W e m ay even

be m isled because we sim ply c a n ’t trust our ow n m inds.
A n d so this discussion goes. I h av en ’t arrived at a cut-and-
dried con clu sion about it, but I know I definitely feel the need
to pursue personal truth by an inform al m ethod. O n e reason for
th at is th at a m ajor part o f my tim e is spen t in my ow n m ind,
outside the form al presen tation . W hen I’m giving a lecture, I
seem to alm ost forget myself. I really do reach out to people and
try to say w hat is best for them to hear according to Prabhu
p ad a’s teach in gs. It’s more my left-brain side because the utter
an ces are con servative an d I press them hom e with enthusiasm .
In a public setting, I am the straight and con servative sann^dsi.
I’m n ot flaky. I speak w hat Prabhupada has said, and if th a t’s
ch allen ged, I defend it. But th a t’s n ot all of me. T h ere is an oth er
side th a t’s right-brain an d n ot so con servative. T h a t oth er side
w ants to understand K rsna too, but for m e to understand spiri
tual life as a w hole person, I need to integrate the two natures
th at exist w ithin this one body. T h a t d oesn ’t m ean th at I do th at
separately from the life o f an aspiring spiritualist, o f one who
loves to h ear Bhagavatam , o f one w ho w ants to live accordin g to
its teach in gs. A s a m atter o f fact, it m eans ju st the opposite.
For exam ple, my truthfulness includes the can did expression
th at I could n ot go deeper into truth. I d o n ’t always have the
tim e to co n cen trate, I’m often interrupted, I write in short bursts
betw een oth er activities. Is it better n ot to m ake such an ad m it
tance? B etter n ot even to write at all if th at’s the case, but to
w ait until such tim e th at I can delve deeply w ith the power o f
sincerity an d d evotion ? I c a n ’t accep t th at as a solution because
w hat if I never get th at tim e? It’s better to express w hat I can
now th an to w ait for a tim e that m ay or m ay n ot com e. K rsna is
the pow er in m an, and H e will be the one to decide w hether or
n ot I will be successful. I c a n ’t live em barrassed by my poverty.
L et me give an exam ple o f w hat I m ean by form al and infor

m al expression. From the vyasasana this m orning I asked a
rh etorical question : “W hat is the purpose o f the bull in hum an

society?” T h e bull plows the fields and pulls carts for tran sporta
tion. M odern tran sportation despises the ox cart and instead
prefers cars and trucks. A t w hat price? We are forced to “flatter
the A rab s.” O n e day, there may be no more fuel oil.
I felt alive w hen I said that, and I tried to m ake the lecture
pun gent by using Prabhupada’s exact language. It felt good to
speak. Yet som ehow or other, it’s not the kind o f thing I say to
m yself w hen I’m alone. R ath er than see on e— the public versus
the private— as better th an the other, I w ant to present the d if
ference. You can see it, c a n ’t you? In the form al lecture, we are
righteous represen tatives o f param para. W hen we’re alone, we
m ay h ave more questions th an answers.
O n e m ight say, “A lo n e I’m n ot as strong; I allow m yself to
becom e prey to dou bt.” I d o n ’t agree th at th at’s the whole p ic
ture. T h e lecture may be dynam ic and bold, but it’s part show
m an sh ip and therefore has a dose o f pretense, or at least a lack
o f deep reflection. I feel no need to pretend w hen I’m alone and
not on stage. E ach expression has a place, but the private expres
sion is m ost im portant to me. It’s w hen I can m ost be myself.
Text 31
yatha nabhasi meghaugho

renur va pdrthivo ’nile
evam drastari drsyatvam
arobitam abuddhibhih
C lo u d s an d d u st are carried by the air, bu t less intelligent p er

so n s say th at the sk y is clou dy and the air is dirty. Sim ilarly,
they a lso im plant m aterial bodily co n cep tion s on the spirit self.
Krsna Is the Source of AU. Incarnations 21
Comment
W e can n o t see the individual spirit soul w ithin the body. We
can only assum e the soul is there by its sym ptom s. We use infer
ence rather th an sensory proof. If the body is active, we take it
for granted, on the basis o f scripture, th at the soul is present.
Sim ilarly, we can n o t see G o d , whose form is all-spiritual. We
h ave to be highly qualified to see the L o rd ’s spiritual form.
Foolish persons m istake the physical form o f the individual
soul to be origin al form. T herefore, they m isidentify a person
with his outer covering. T h is is n ot com pletely wrong; the outer
covering in dicates the presence o f an inner person. Prabhupada
gives the exam ple th at w hen we see the President’s lim ousine we
exclaim , “H ere com es the P residen t!” W e’ve seen only the car,
but we are likely to be correct th at the President is indeed inside.
T h o se w ho w ant to see G o d im m ediately despite their d is
q u alification are encouraged to m editate on the “outer form ” of
G o d in this m aterial universe, the universal form. By under
stan d in g the size and power o f the gigan tic cosm os, they can
begin to understand the breadth o f G o d . S till, th at form is im ag
inary— one could alm ost say m istaken. T h e m istake is described
in this verse: w hen you see dust or clouds in the air you say, “T h e
sky is cloudy, the air is dirty.” In fact, the air is separate from the
dust. It is sim ply carrying the dust. It has n ot itself becom e dust.
O ur inability to see living spirit is described in the Vedic
verse, atah sri-krsna'ndmddi na bhaved grahyam indriyaih. W ith our
present blunt m aterial senses, we can n ot appreciate K rsna’s pres
ence in H is holy nam e. W hen we render d evotion al service,
however, especially starting w ith the tongue by tasting prasadam
and ch an tin g H are K rsna, then gradually the spiritual senses
becom e uncovered and we learn to see spiritual reality. C h an tin g
H are K rsna clean s the dust from the m ind and enables us to see
th at K rsna and H is nam e are nondifferent. T h o se w ho dem and
to see spirit at on ce, although they’re unw illing to practice the
process o f purification, are arrogant and foolish. It certainly
m akes sense th at in order to understand any subject m atter, we

h ave to qualify ourselves to learn it.
O n e o f the first things we learn in K rsna con sciousn ess is th at
we are n ot this body; we are spirit soul. Even as we begin to
practice K rsna consciousness, however, this basic realization
eludes us. 1 rem em ber Prabhupada quotin g aharh brahmasmi and
my bein g thrilled to hear it. S till it is theoretical, even after all
these years.
Is th at depressing? It’s horrible to look at ourselves and see
the gross m aterial desires th at still live in our m inds and hearts.
W hy c a n ’t we act m ore like the V aisn ava we actually are? W hy
the persistence o f the m aterial identity? Som etim es the “dirt
and clou ds” seem inseparable from our air. We h ave so deeply
identified w ith m atter for so long th at it is alm ost im possible to
overcom e the habit. A soul in a m an ’s body thinks h e’s a m an or
an A m erican or the son o f a particular family. A soul in a body
sees h im self as fat or thin, strong or weak. M aya will be co n
quered w hen we can understand w ith w hat we should identify.
I h ave been w riting my m em ories o f m aterial experience. I
th ink in all honesty it’s necessary for me to ow n up tc them
because I still dream o f my old neighborhood, think of m yself as
a child, rem em ber my parents, an d so on. T h e fact is, however,
n on e o f my m aterial experien ces have any co n h ection with me.
I d on ’t defy this conclusion. In fact, I respect it as tran scen
d en tal know ledge. It just seem s so long before the practices o f
sadhana'bhakti take hold and I actually begin to understand and
identify with my real self.
T h e pure d evotee’s situation is different. W e’re advised n ot to
see the spiritual m aster’s body as faulty, for exam ple. W e are told
th at if we th ink o f the spiritual m aster as his body, it’s the sam e
as seeing the m oon m ixed in the clouds and thinking th at they
are m ovin g together. T h e m oon is actually far away, quite sep a
rate from the clouds.
Krsiw Is the Source of All Incarnations 23
A lth o u g h we m ay be m istaken w hen we see the spiritual

m aster’s body as m aterial, however, we still w orship th at form. It
is actu ally a spiritual form. It m ay be hard to distinguish all this,
and perhaps it is not even necessary. If the spiritual m aster’s
form becom es dear to us, then w hether we understand it as m at-
ter or spirit, we are safe if we con tin ue to w orship him and fo b
low his words. A t least we will h ave the gist o f understanding.
H ow his body is spiritual is som eth in g we m ay h ave to under
stand in the future.
Sim ilarly, w hen we see the w orshipable D eity on the altar, we
understand th at it is K rsna H im self, although sim ultaneously we
know th at H e is m ade o f m arble or brass. W e also know, th eo
retically, th at m arble can act as spirit, an d th at K rsna has
appeared to us in this so-called m aterial form because we are not
yet qualified to see H is saC'Cid-ananda form. In this case, a l
though we lack higher understanding, if our basic attitude is
right, we can still m ake spiritual progress by properly receiving,
w orshiping, and serving the spiritual form o f guru and Deity.
T h e V edic verse describes, arcye visnau sild'dhir gurusu nara-
matir, “ If som eon e fails to understand th at the D eity is spiritual,
th at the spiritual m aster is n ot ordinary, an d th at a V aisnava
doesn ’t appear in a particular n ation ality but is spirit, th en that
person has a h ellish m entality.”
O n hearin g all this, we can grasp how difficult it is to gain
realization o f even the A B C s in spiritual life. T h is fact should
hum ble us. We are n ot m asters o f K rsna consciousness just
because we h ave atten ded a few Bhagavatam classes and have
spen t a few years busily engaged in the activities o f the K rsna
con sciousn ess m ovem ent. D o we really know the difference
betw een spirit and m atter? D o we really act on the spiritual p lat
form in all th at we do? If not, why do claim we are learned d e v o
tees? B etter to go before the guru as S a n a ta n a G o sv am i did and
adm it our foolishness.
Typing on the Old Manual Godrej

O h , if you glide the glide, ride the ride. Instead ot passing air,
you could pass on spiritual w isdom to your ow n inner self. But
even now, I am grateful to be here and n ot in m uch pain. I d o n ’t
know why the pain com es. Som e people say that too much
blood is forcing its way through a little flesh pipe in my head, or
th at my m uscles up there are too tight. My question is this: W hy
do I identify with it so m uch? It would be a great feat it 1 could
sec above and beyond it, not even feel it, if I could glide
through, ride on , and live as spirit soul.
I speak through the fingers as they stub, uncoordinated, over
this keyboard. T h is typewriter is really ineffective. Its grinding
gears sound hopeless. N o wonder I feel irritable and nervous just
to hear it. Lie dow n, I say, here com es pain. (A G odh roth er told
me, “ M ah araja, it’s n ot you who feels the pain in your h ead ,” but
w hat does he know? “ It you prick us, do we not bleed?’’)
“O h M ah araja, you arc thinking o f the body again .”
I sigh, even com plain. O h me, oh my. T h is corporeal co m b i
n ation . T h is typew riter’s keys are jam m ing. T h a t it’s m atter
d o e sn ’t m ake it less troublesom e.
A t least th ere’s solace in know ing th at there is a spiritual

abode, even if it is only th eoretical at present. I also take solace
in the fact th at w hen 1 stub my toe and feel the pain, or w hen I
dream o f my paren tal hom e, or w hen I run from dream tigers, or
w hen T h o m as W olfe and I cry out, “O lo st!” then it’s better to
rem em ber my guru and say, “M ah araja, you are thinking o f the
body again .”
From the window of the IS K C O N h otel 1 see a m an rolling

purls by the roadside. I see him put his dirty h ands on to the
earth, th en light and sm oke a cigarette, in haling as he rolls. T h e
open sewer is nearby, and I see lights strung into the S iv a
M an dira across the street. I see a G erm an -lookin g young m an,
two o f them actually, and a girl, entering H are Krishna Land.
T h e y take o ff their socks and hiking boots, slug water from a
bottle, and stride toward the desk. Sm aller, wiser, dark-bodied
Indians w atch them w ith am usem ent. I w atch too from this b al
cony. W h at is it I’m seeing? M atter? Sp irit? A com b in ation o f
both ? Ke am i? A m I, as the C h ow patty president described me
in his m orn in g an noun cem en ts, one o f the oldest devotees in
I S K C O N ? “ Even before he cam e to IS K C O N , he had jo u rn al
istic talen ts.” A m I a writer then? A h eadach e m achine? A fo o l
ish learned m an w ho hides Post-its in his Bhagavatam w hile he
lectures? W hy do I insist on know ing the difference between
m atter an d spirit, and why do I prefer to be alone?
W hy can 't I know Lord H ari in H is nam es? Is it because I
identify with the corpus dermas, the pore-holed stretch o f skin
(th in ) and false ego (w hich I can n ot see)? I w ant to see me
stan din g barefoot on the sands o f V rn davan a know ing th at I am
a servan t o f Krsna. I w ant to see that.
Writing by Hand
R ock B ottom coun ts his change. S its and cools it. H e has a
good idea: W h atever I was going to say-pray to Srila Prabhupada
in his Bom bay room s, I can say right here to my sm aller

P rabhupada murti. I can sit in front o f him and say it, ask for
blessings for this book, and express w hatever h esitancy 1 feel.
Even for th at private darsana, however, I need presence and the
w herew ithal. I need more physical com fort and freedom from
disturbance.
C o u n t your change.
I m ean, calm down.
D ear spiritual m aster, I need to feel
G o d ’s un co n dition al love for me.
I need to feel you’ll cut me
dow n, call me “fo o l!” You have
the right and I d o n ’t m ind. S till, I w ant to
feel G o d ’s un con d ition al love
for me. T h e se words
com e to m ind.
I w ant you to accep t me as

I am . W h en I said that
to one o f my big leader
G o d bro th ers (w ho used to call me
frien d), he said, “W hy should
1 accep t you as you are ? T h ere is right
and w rong.” H e reserved the
right in our friendship to decide when
I was w rong and he, like a car m ech a.Sc,
could take me apart, spread out my
parts, and put me together again — as a sign
o f his favor— as he w ished me to be.
“N o th an k s,” I said and th at ended that.
N ow dear G o d , You have the right,

and G u ru d eva too, but
I’d like to feel Your all-acceptin g love
for me.
L et me im prove w ho I am.
You, if You like, even on hearing
this con d ition al statem en t or
dem and, may send a thunderbolt
or rem ain indifferent.
I accep t You in any case.
I’m ju st tellin g you how I feel on
this February 17 in 1996.
Ia/ I v c iv lS A t.
s<wfi V
fro v n ? $
Text 32
atah param yad avyaktam
avyudha-guna-brmhitam
adrstasruta-vastutvat
sa jivo yat punar-bhavah
B ey o n d th is gross con ception of form is an oth er, subtle co n

ception o f fo rm w hich is w ithout form al shape and is un seen ,
u n h eard an d u n m an ifest. T h e living being h as h is form beyond
th is subtlety, oth erw ise he could n ot have repeated birth s.
Comment
T h is verse refers to the subtle body o f the living being beyond
the gross form. Srimad-Bhagavatam has been discussing the co s
m os o f planets, outer space, etc., and life w ithin the planets,
w hatever is perceivable to the gross senses. T h e m editator has
been encouraged to con ceive o f it all as the universal form o f
G o d . Sim ilarly, we h ave been guided as beginners to understand
th at the coverin g o f the body is also a way to know the self.
W hen we see the President’s car, we say, “H ere com es the Presi
d e n t!” T h e se co n cep tion s are n ot quite true— the car and the
person w ithin the car are n ot synonym ous— yet the car is a use
ful in dicator o f the person within.
N ow the subtle is m entioned an d we are taught how we can
infer th at the soul is inside the em bodied being. In the seven th
ch apter o f Bhagavad'gitd, we learn th at the subtle body is co m
posed o f in telligen ce, m ind, and false ego. A lth o u gh we can n ot
see, sm ell, or touch the m ind, everyone knows o f its presence by
its sym ptom s. We know th at our waking, conscious self exists,
and we m ay also becom e aware from tim e to tim e o f the u n co n
scious self. T herefore, we can perceive the subtle body. A l
though the m ind, consciousness, and uncon sciousn ess are not
m easurable by hard scien ce, psychology— the study o f the subtle
body— is a respected scien ce w hich benefits hum ankind.
However, the spirit soul is n ot only beyond gross m easure
m ent but beyond psychic perception also. Psychology can n ot
know the spirit self. A gain , the presence o f the soul can be
inferred by its sym ptom s, even if it can n ot be directly known.
T h is is true even o f a beginner in spiritual life. W hen som eone
dies, the relatives lam ent the loss o f the person. A lth o u gh all o f
them can perceive his m aterial body, the subtle functions have
ceased. T h ey can see th at som ething is “m issing.”
A step beyond th e realization o f o n e ’s ow n self as spirit is
the realization o f the Suprem e Sp irit. G o d is n o t a produ ct o f
the m aterial energy. S rila Prabh upada writes, “T h e co n clu sion
is th at the Lord is etern ally existen t in H is tran scen den tal

form , w h ich is n eith er gross nor subtle like th at o f the living
bein g; H is body is n ever to be com pared to the gross and su b
tle bod ies o f the livin g being. A ll such co n cep tio n s of G o d ’s
body are im aginary.”
V edic scien ce teach es th at as a living being ch anges his gross
m aterial body life after life, his subtle body functions as the car
rier o f the self, the soul, just as arom a is carried on air. T h is is,
o f course, n ot true o f Krsna. K rsna has neither a gross nor subtle
body. H is senses and H is psychic functions are com pletely eter
nal and spiritual. By K rsna’s arrangem ent, the individual being
also has spiritual senses, but he becom es aware o f them and can
engage them only w hen he is liberated. “T h e living being has
his etern al spiritual form, w hich is con ditioned only by his
m aterial co n tam in atio n .”
T h e agn ostics or hesitant, doubting neophytes may raise

doubts at every step, but this doesn ’t m ean that the spiritual m as
ter or the Bhagavatam has to constantly accom m odate or enter
tain their doubts. Srila Prabhupada expects that when he says
the living entity experiences repeated birth and death, we will
accept it on his word. A s in any student-teacher relationship, the
student has to begin by accepting the initial prem ise offered by
the teacher if progress is to be m ade. Spiritual prem ises are not
dogm atic, and once we h ave accepted and understood them , we
may m ake statem en ts in w hich the basics are assum ed, such as
about the existen ce o f the living beings beyond gross matter.
T h is verse says, “T h e living being has his form beyond this sub
tlety, otherw ise he could not have repeated births.” T h e agnos
tics m ay doubt the truth o f this statem en t because they do not
accept the principle o f transm igration, but the devotee will
accep t the prem ise and m ove closer to love o f G o d.
A devotee should feel secure in the practice o f learn in g the
spiritual scien ce under his spiritual m aster and in the com pany
o f like-m inded devotees. A fixed devotee is sure o f the co n clu

sion s o f sastra. H is doubts cease and spiritual truth becom es part
o f his life-breath. W ithout this security, it is alm ost im possible
to function as a devotee. A s Prabhupada once asked a roomful
o f his G B C m en, “A re you con vin ced th at K rsna is the Per
son ality o f G o d h ead ? If you are not con vin ced, then you can n ot
h elp m e.”
Beyond the gross and subtle. Beyond doubt. A fter the lecture
and before. T h e doubter put to rest. A re you con vin ced? We
co u n t heads. T h o se who are devotees, raise their hands. A n yon e
w ith doubts? Is it always so clear?
S h o u ld I be hum ble? If an organizer says, “A ll V aisnavas raise
their right h an d ,” how should I respond? Is it clever o f me not
to raise my h an d because I prefer to think o f m yself as a servant
o f the V aisnavas? A servant o f the V aisn avas is factually a Vais-
n ava, so I should raise my hand.
A t the sam e tim e, I doubt som etim es. O r not doubt so m uch
as . . . W h at I w ant to say is slipping out o f my grip.
I am up early an d w ant to tell you that my h eadach e is lin

gering. I w onder how far I can go today before the rope o f pain
tigh ten s around my head. I am lim ited an d confined by bodily

pressure, even though I prefer to preach. I w him per and w ince
rather th an soar into unlim ited spiritual expression.
“ D eclare it, O A rju n a! My devotee never perish es.”
A rju n a d id n ’t say, “O my Lord, I c a n ’t do that. I’m not fe el'
ing well today.” A t least he w asn’t speaking like th at by the end
o f the Bhagavad'gita. I hope I w on’t be either w hen my illusion
too is gone.
M y problem is th at I w ant to be both a parrot and a free

spirit. H ere I am in the Bom bay IS K C O N h otel, the electric fan
turning above my head, the m otor droning. I can hear the
three-w heeled m otor scooters outside. It’s 12:30 A .M . on a
Sunday. Blessed Sunday. D evotees are due to arrive today. C o m e
on, then, find your expression w hile you can.
R ock B ottom put on his trousers and then decided he had

better w ear a dhoti. H e tied on his beloved Indian khadi dhoti and
thick m on k’s kurta o f the sam e faded, m ottled, saffron hue. Is
R ock B ottom ready to m eet the day? O u t he goes.
A n d re Breton w rites surreal. I w ant to do it devotee-style.

Sym -phony, not phony song—
O Perspides, O G reek
m yth, O pillar (o f truth?), O
D oric colu m n on those m useum color slides,
O pride and stink and hum a
drum . I’m a devotee o f K rsna and raise my
h an d w hen called. My nam e is
R ock B ottom , B h akta Rock.
M y heart has been speared with
the sorrow o f not acting
as the Lord exp ects o f H is pure devotees.
N icely said, R ock. Okay, sit down. T h is is a w riting class after

all. W e w ant to give others a ch an ce to be heard. M iss M ockout?
N o ? M iss Sin cere? T h e d evotees from C olu m bus or M ysore or
S o u th S tre et or the fam ous R ainbow G roup? W hat about our
loner here from C h icag o ? Is everyone happy? W ho would like to
stan d up and read their piece?
G ro ss and subtle forms. Sp irit beyond. How do I know? I

believe in my father.
Ink flows, the fan whirs on, and I drink water in the
Persipides.
Beyond gross-flesh hand with S eik o w atch, the steel 747
w aiting to take us on board. We feel con fiden t in the gray, blue,
and red British A irw ays logo, inspired by their solidity and e x p e
rience. A gian t insect hops on to my arm.
Beyond gross and subtle is spirit— in this case, m;y spirit. My
heart thum ps, but th at’s still gross, isn’t it? G od broth ers do die.
M y tim e is n ot far off. T h a t will be the actu al p roof o f the faith
we h ave invested, our ow n ch an ce to follow the experim ent to
its ultim ate con clusion . R igh t now we’re still theoretical. We
talk o f oth ers’ passing away (n o t death ) as “auspicious,” and the

word “ausp icious” h angs h ackneyed in the room . S om e will go so
far as to say th at the dead person w ent to G o lo k a, but how do we
know for sure? O ur tim e will com e w hen we can find out by
direct experien ce.
A fter all, we aren ’t atheists. W e are depen den t on Krsna. O ur
depen den ce is part o f our soldier’s life. Ju st because we like to be
relaxed and h on est d oesn ’t m ean we have no faith. A lo n e in our
room we take shelter o f the Lord in H is holy nam es. W e’re tiny
creatures crying ou t and usually we know it. Krsna, please pro
tect us all.
T h e re ’s an interesting relationship betw een giving a Bhdg-

avatam class an d writing A Poor M an Reads the Bhagavatam. 1
w ant to be alert to th at relationship. Today at H are Krishna
Land, I gave a class on a verse that was som ew hat dry for me.
Probably it was dry because I had a hard tim e understanding it.
T h e verse described in substan tial theories opposed to the
Bhagavata conclusions: “ In this world there are five elem ents—
nam ely earth, water, fire, air and ether— but the body is not a
reflection o f them , nor a com bin ation or transform ation o f them.
Because the body and its ingredients are neither distin ct nor
am algam ated, all such theories are insubstantial.” (Bhdg. 7-15.59)
I adm itted th at the world is full o f confusing theories and I
c a n ’t understand them all. Fortunately, Prabhupada d oesn ’t
dwell on them , but goes straight to the clear essence o f Bhagavad-
gita. T herefore, I discussed spirit and m atter as described in the
open in g verses o f the seventh chapter o f Bhagavad-gita, then
w ent on to m ore “ relateable” subjects, such as how we can
understand th at w e’re n ot this body. Prabhupada m ercifully gives
a paragraph in his purport about tem ple D eity worship.
W hen the subject m atter o f a particular verse is tech nical, I
try to m ake it interesting. I believe a Bhagavatam speaker should
do this. A t the sam e tim e, he sh ouldn ’t m ake it interesting by
w atering dow n the verse’s contents. H e shouldn’t cater to the

fickle m ind— his ow n or those o f others— in his attem pt to hold
his audien ce’s attention . W hen he exerts his energies to make a
lecture interesting, we can ’t say that he is acting only in an offi
cial capacity; h e ’s being creative. We can ’t say h e’s only dogm atic.
So m etim es the audience is also interesting to the speaker.
Today, there was a little old m an who kept n odding his head in
agreem en t to my points. I told the audience th at I d id n ’t w ant to
avoid the subject m atter o f the purport, although it was tech n i
cal, and he n odded away, as if to say, “Yes, let’s h ave it straight.
D o n ’t com prom ise.” A fterw ards, he approached me and gave his
ow n little Bhagavatam lecture, carrying my points further.
I also n oticed a widow who kept sm iling at som e o f the things
I said, perhaps recognizing my attem pt to m ake it interesting. 1
found th at gratifying. I also n oticed the eyes and m ovem ents of
the oth er d evotees, som e o f whom were definitely not interested
in w hat I had to say, but who were m aking a deliberate effort to
m ain tain eye co n tact and the sem blance o f interest. T h a t’s what
it’s like w hen you look out at an audience from the speaker’s seat.
A n d in India especially, guests tend to w ander in and out, min-
gle with the class, approach the D eities, and generally ignore
both speaker and audience.
I said th at there is a relationship betw een giving class and
writing here. N ow I feel I should tell you w hat th at is. But 1 d o n ’t
w ant to m ake too sim plistic a relationship. A t least I’ll say this:
th ere’s a h um an elem ent in both.
Text 33
yatreme sad-asad-rupe
pratisiddhe sva-samvida
avidyayatmani krte
iti tad brahma-darsanam
W h en ev er a p erso n exp erien ces, by self-realization , th at both

th e g ro ss an d su btle bodies h ave n oth in g to do w ith the pure
self, at th at tim e he sees h im self a s w ell a s the L o rd .
Comment
Self-realization occurs w hen we realize th at the m aterial c o v
erings o f gross and subtle body are tem porary illusions. We
accep t these coverin gs out o f ignorance. A godly life enables us
to give little im portance to the se lf’s coverings but to becom e
serious about the activities o f the soul. O n e who fully engages in
K rsna con scious activities is called jivan'm ukta, one liberated
even w hile living in the m aterial body.
We gain self-realization n ot only w hen we engage in activities
but w hen we take shelter o f the Lord. If we wrongly desire to
enjoy m aterial life, then K rsna will arrange for us to forget our
eternal position. If we pray to revive our rem em brance, however,
then K rsna will rem ove the curtain th at now covers our eyes.
S rila Prabh upada’s purport m ay be read as an exercise. T h a t
is, we m ight th ink it has little relevance to our con dition .
Prabh upada’s books are n ot intended as academ ic exercises,
however. T h e y are m eant to be taken personally. O ur predica
m ent in the m aterial world, the m eans o f deliverance by bhakti-
yoga, the goal, love o f K rsna— all can be understood and applied
sim ply by reading Prabhupada’s purports. A cad em ic reading is
o b jective; a spiritual aspirant reads subjectively. H e takes the
instructions in and practices them faithfully. T herefore, it is said
th at we can gain self-realization sim ply by reading.
T h is verse an d purport speak o f self-realization w ithout e x
p licitly m e n tio n in g G o d c o n scio u sn e ss, yet the brahm a-
darsanam , the process o f seeing the A bsolute, m eans seeing the
Lord. T herefore, Prabhupada translates it in th at way. S elf-real
ization and G o d consciousness are interdependent. W h at does
self-realization m ean if it d oesn ’t include the understanding o f
our etern al co n stitu tio n al p osition ? T h e sdstras assure us th at we
arc servan ts o f K rsna (jivera ‘svaritpa’ haya— krsnera 'nitya-dasa').

G o d con sciousn ess m eans to know the Suprem e Personality of
G o d h ead as the con troller o f all living entities. If we know G o d ,
th en we will also realize our relationship w ith H im . Self-realiza
tion an d G o d realization are integral parts o f our attem pt to
app roach the one A bsolute Truth.
W hen Prabhupada says that we should becom e indifferent to
the n eeds o f the gross and subtle bodies, we m ay think that
th a t’s a difficult task. H e also says that the im petus for our a c tiv
ities com es from the self. W hen we are in the con ditioned state,
our physical and m ental lives m ix together a dose o f real self-
interest w ith m aterial hankering and lam entation . We can n ot
express pure will because we have m ixed m otives in w hatever
we do. S o m etim es we may believe th at som eth ing is pure, only
to later recognize th at it is tainted with con cern s for psychic and
bodily w ell being. G ran ted , 1 am speaking o f a neophyte. T h e re
fore, it is im portant that the neophyte enlist h im self as a d isci
ple o f a pure devotee spiritual master. T h is is the only way to
gradually clean se our m otives. If the spiritual m aster orders us to
execu te som e particular service, we can be sure the tasks th em
selves will be pure. Even though our m otives m ay rem ain im
pure for the tim e being, by follow ing the guru’s order, the task
itself will rem ove impure m otives. If we w ant to increase the
speed at w hich our m otives are purified, we have to adopt a sim
ple service attitu de toward guru and Krsna.
Prabhupada states that w hen we act in ignorance of our self-
interest, “A w hole set o f activities is spoiled, life after life." T h is
great w aste can be corrected by the expert spiritual m aster’s
direction . Ju st as in cookin g we may spoil an otherw ise perfect
pot o f sweet rice by adding salt, so good activities, the desire to
work hard, a creative drive, and other qualities need not be
spoiled if they are engaged under the spiritual m aster’s direction.
Selfish n ess spoils everything. W ithout K rsna consciousness, the
industrious and creative spoil everything they touch.
From the purport it seem s that the m ain activity in the prac^
tice o f self-realization is prayer. It’s only by H is mercy that we
can attain atma-tattva. T h is is because K rsna is the source of
know ledge, rem em brance, and forgetfulness (sarvasya cdham hrdi
sannivisto). How should we pray? W e can adopt the prayers o f
the great devotees recorded in the Bhagai'atam , or we can pray
as directly from the heart as we are able. We m ight recite the"
prayers m ade by the living entity in the womb, who before his
birth cries out to Krsna, “ My dear Lord, let this birth be my last
one in the m aterial world. I prom ise now to serve You eternally
w ith no oth er m otive.” If we can som ehow m ean these words,
K rsna will hear us. Prayer is not an intellectual exercise. Let
prayer com e as a true cry, even if the language is broken.
T h ere is a difference betw een praying to be freed of illusion
and praying for devotion al service, however, and we should c o n
cen trate our petition s to K rsna according to Prabh upada’s direc
tion. T h e prayer for liberation from our suffering is m aterially
m otivated, but the prayer to becom e K rsn a’s servant is at the
highest standard. Prabhupada guided us beyond the desire for
liberation from his first purport. H e taught us to beg Krsna for
H is causeless d evotion al service, birth after birth.
Approaching Srila Prabhupada at Hare Krishna Land

I prom ised m yself that I would pray to Prabhupada for his
blessings to write A Poor M an Reads the Bhagavatam. I had
planned to go to his room s in the tem ple here and to prostrate
m yself before him, but then I realized th at I could accom plish
the sam e thing in my ow n room by sittin g before my own
Prabhupada murti. R ight now, Prabhupada is w earing his light
saffron cadar. H e is still resting. A ctually, it’s 3:30 r.M. Tim e to
wake him .
S p eak in g o f m otivation , I noticed im m ediately as I kneeled
to pay my ob eisan ces th at the m arble floor is hard. I should h ave
brought a pillow over. A lw ays thinking o f my bodily com fort.
W hy n ot ju st go to Prabhupada!
I also n otice th at I’m often reluctant to go through the b o th

eration o f the rituals— the acam ana, ringing the bell, etc. I tell
m yself th at my w orship is more inform al and intim ate, perhaps
because this murti is always with me. A t the sam e tim e, I d o n ’t
like it w hen disciples enter my room and d on ’t bow dow n to
Prabhupada. It’s a strange m ix o f form al and informal.
O kay, ring the sm all bell and rem ove his cadar. N ow bow
dow n, th en slip his beadbag on to his hand.
D ear S rila Prabhupada, I com e before you at H are K rishna
Lan d. E ven as I pray, I h ave heard th at your two staunch,
Bom bay disciples, Sridh ara M ah araja and G iriraja M aharaja,
h ave returned from the M ayapur G B C m eetings. I am a little
soul, ju st about to return to A m erica, while they rem ain behind
to serve you here. M y present preoccupation is with this series of
books I am w riting called A Poor M an Reads the Bhagavatam. In
these books, I read your purports and then write my own co m
m ents. I like to do this because it keeps me in tune with your
thoughts. It’s som eth in g I hope to do for the rest o f my life. If I
finish the Bhagavatam , I can start on Krsna book. If I finish Krsna
book and you approve, I can start on the Caitanya'Caritamrta or
Bhagavad-gitd. I w ant to always stay in your shelter.
I’m w riting w hat I’ve understood from your purports in my
ow n words. T h e n I go on to express myself, imperfectly, o f
course, saying how I feel and trying to link the Bhagavatam to
my day-to-day life. I have already told you all about this and
exp lain ed my reasoning, so I w on’t bring it all up again. I h ave
com e before you to ask your perm ission to con tin ue this writing.
I d o n ’t w ant my request to be granted if I should be doing som e
th in g m ore or different. Please relieve m e o f w hatever selfish
m otives I have, w hatever superficial or tem porary coverings o f
the self th at still plague me. W h at’s the use o f my writing and
p ublish in g if it d oesn ’t h it the heart o f K rsna consciousness? I
will sim ply spoil my activities unless they are pleasing to you.
Perhaps in a sense, I am begging the question. W hat else can
I do? Like m any o f your disciples, I h ave hatch ed a plan for how
KVsna Is the Source of All Incarnations 39
to serve you and it seem s good to me. Your long-tim e Bom bay
disciple, A d ity a dasi, show ed me her plan for a way to preach by
teach in g m usic lessons at H are K rish na Land. It’s a good idea too,
and it can induce m usically inclined people to learn about kir~
tana. A n d th ere’s D evakin an d an a Prabhu, who also has m any
plan s and activities for you. H e cares for the life m em bers and
co llects m oney for H are K rishna Land. N ow he w ants to set up
D eity w orship in factories around Bom bay. I told him you had
w ritten about this in Message of Godhead even before you cam e to
A m erica. W e all h ave plans how to preach— w riting, teaching,
life m em bership, w hatever— all to glorify you.
For me, w riting keeps me busy in a way that n othin g else will.
It also keeps me satisfied. A n d I h av en ’t always been satisfied
over the years, even in work th at has my G o d bro th ers’ san ction.
Som eh ow those oth er services did n ot engage my proclivities. In
th at sense, I think the sym ptom s are good w hen I write. T here
are certain people who com e to K rsna con sciousness w ho seem to
take w hat I say as beneficial for their spiritual lives. T h a t is the
L ord’s mercy on me. W e each seem to have a certain capacity to
approach different types o f people in society. D evakin andana
Prabhu is good at approach in g rich m en and industrialists, the
B h ak tived an ta Institute devotees are expert in approach ing sci-

entists; I too can approach a certain type o f person, m ostly those
lookin g for personal and intim ate exchan ge in K rsna con scious
ness and those seeking honestly.
S till, it will be spoiled unless you enable me to write purely.
I beg th at you will bless me. T h e writing is already underway,
and it takes a lot o f willpow er to keep going. You say th at the
im petus for any activity com es from the spirit self, and only in
ignorance is the self covered over. Please uncover my false
m otives. If w hat I’m doing is wrong, please let me see my m is
take so th at the pure self can act. I d o n ’t w ant to be attached. I
d o n ’t w ant to spoil my life.
I am very pleased to be able to serve you in your murti form
and to serve you by ch an tin g and lecturing. You are kind to each
o f us, your disciples, as you give us each a service by w hich we
can com e closer to you. I hope it will n ot be too long before I
can enter my etern al relationsh ip w ith you and stop spoiling my
lives in this m aterial world. A ll I w ant is your causeless d e v o
tion al service life after life.
Godrej Pounding
Ban g away on G o d rej and tell us your truth. I type thirty
words a m inute an d spell fifteen o f them wrong. T h e typewriter
d oesn ’t say m uch. It protests by jam m in g the keys and ringing
the bell on the return carriage.
M y two sannyasl G odbroth ers will arrive som etim e today, but
I doubt we will h ave tim e to m eet as I h ave only one more day
here. It occurred to me th at the m ain th in g for m e to do when
I visit tem ples is to truly wish devotees well. Be loving. K rsna is
the Lord o f the devotees especially, an d I can only pray th at they
too will be pleased with me. I know it’s n ot always possible to
please everyone. W e all do w hat we feel we must. It’s all worthy
service if it’s offered to Prabhupada.
D evak ln an d an a Prabhu is stout and m uscular, and he is try

ing to lose w eight. W e sat together for lunch in his apartm ent,
him dietin g, me eatin g to gain w eight. W hen the A yurvedic
doctor ch ecked my h eigh t again st my w eight (5 ’ 11” and 110
pou nds) he said, “T h is is n ot good. You should weigh 140.”
T h e n he gave me eleven different pills to take th at he said
would h elp me to gain. M aybe this Volum e Two will be a
w eight-building tom e.
Notes Written After Waking Suddenly at Night and not

Being Able to Sleep
H ow does a m an disappear?
Is he guided toward d eath or
ju st eats bean s an d dies?
D oes he suddenly wake a t 9 P.M. only
to find th at h e ’s on an oth er
plan et? Is d eath som eth in g we can intellectualize?
T h is is a point: let’s n ot intellectualize K rsna consciousness.

G e t it from the gut. A fter all, w e’re n ot reading Pravda. W hat
does K rsna consciousness feel like w hen you wake in the m iddle
o f the nigh t and c a n ’t get back to sleep? Poem language can help
to d iscover that.
aw
\Wx/) ^
1^0 _
? \XsUL, Ux U-£J! L
Uj kjufii
Icj y V-e~* |L
\£-C IaIU.u/' (/U'' 1 \ ~T—
«V F .< * w
For exam ple, how does a m an dive?

Is he lost if he pauses
as a Pepsi sign flashes?
D oes he split into dem on and divine?
A n d how does he disappear?
We are too pam pered to care.
D o we h ave to
die an d be born in tough
lower castes to know the
truth? But then how will
we write it?
Text 34
yady esoparata devi

maya vaisaradi matih
sam panna eveti vidur

mahimni sve mahiyate
I f the illu so ry en ergy su b sid es an d the living entity becom es

fu lly en rich ed w ith kn ow ledge by the grace o f the L o rd , then
he b eco m es at on ce enligh ten ed w ith self-realization and th u s
b eco m es situ ated in h is ow n glory.
Comment
S rila Prabhupada describes adhya-jnana, know ledge o f the
A bsolu te Suprem e Person. Lord K rsn a’s nam es, forms, and ener
gies all are iden tical with H im . G o d ’s one energy can act as the
intern al energy or the extern al energy, ju st as electricity gen er
ated by the pow erhouse can be used for h eatin g or cooling. It is
only how H e uses H is energy that determ ines w hether it is in ter
nal or extern al.
W h en a con d ition ed soul no longer desires to dom inate or
enjoy the m aterial energy, then th at sam e energy begins to act
in his favor. H e sees it “ in term s o f repen tan ce and pen an ce.” H e
regrets h avin g com e under m ay as influence, and he wishes to
clear h im self o f illusion. T h u s he gives up his depen dence on
m atter and becom es depen den t on K rsna. A s Lord K rsna states
in Bhagavad'gita, “T h is divine energy o f M ine, consistin g o f the
three m odes o f m aterial nature, is difficult to overcom e. But
those w ho h ave surrendered un to M e can easily cross beyond
it.” (Bg. 7 .1 4 ) In his purport to th at verse, Srila Prabhupada
writes, “K rsna, being the Lord o f the illusory energy, can order
this insurm ountable energy to release the con dition ed sou l.”
In Bg. 9 .1 3 , Lord K rsna describes the mahatma. Prabhupada
com m ents, “ B ein g m arginal potency, as soon as the living entity
is freed from the control o f m aterial nature, he is put under the
guidance o f the spiritual nature. T h e guidance o f the spiritual
nature is called daivi prakrti . . . ”
It is im portant th at we understand w hat Prabhupada m eans

w hen he says that the Lord’s extern al energy subsides “ in terms
o f repen tan ce and penance for the con dition ed soul.” D oes he
m ean th at it is necessary for us to becom e repentant and to per
form p en an ce in order to becom e purified? H ow do repentance
and p en an ce bring us closer to self-realization and thus to see
ing the Lord?
A t the end o f the First C a n to , M ah araja Pariksit com m itted
a m istake in his dealings with the sage Sam ik a Rsi. A s a result,
the sag e ’s son cursed the king to die w ithin seven days. T h e
pious king im m ediately regretted his m isbehavior. Prabhupada
com m en ts there, “S u ch repentance is natural for a good m an
like the K ing, and such repen tan ce delivers a devotee from all
kinds o f sins acciden tally com m itted.” (Bhag. 1.19.1, purport)
R ep en tan ce, therefore, burns away sin. K in g Pariksit thus p ro
vides an exam ple for us o f how the con dition ed soul can respond
to the m aterial energy in such a way that he gains release from
it. T o be sorry th at we cam e into the m aterial world in the first
place, to understand th at the threefold m iseries are punishing us
for our rebellion again st G o d , to see the threefold m iseries a c t
ing directly in our lives just as a governm ent punishes a cu l
prit— w ithout this m editation, how will we ever com e to under
stan d th at the m aterial world is m ean t only for suffering? W hen
spiritual realization dawns, we will no longer try to conquer the
m aterial energy.
P enance, therefore, does not necessarily m ean feats o f self-
denial. R ather, penan ce m eans to refrain from exp loitin g the
m aterial energy. T h a t requires tolerance. A s Lord K rsna says in
the Bhagavad-gitd, it is h ot in summer, but despite the in co n ve
n ien ce, a w om an will cook. It is cold in winter, and despite the
in con ven ien ce, people will bathe. W e tolerate the h eat and the
cold; even m ore th an that, we tolerate our own attach m ents to
the physical com fort. In the m eantim e, we continue with our
religious duties. W hen we behave in this way, we are no longer
Krsria Is the Source of All Incarnations 45
culprits, h elpless victim s, or foolish actors trying to enjoy the

m aterial nature— we are liberated and eligible to hear the tran
scen d en tal m essage o f the Bhagavatam.
It is interesting to hear how K rsna can sw itch H is extern al
energy to the internal. W hen D uryodhana and his fath er threw
M ah atm a V idura out o f the Kuru p alace, Vidura saw it as K rsn a’s
will. Prabhupada states th at in this instance, the L ord’s m aterial
energy was actin g as the internal energy. V idura saw h im self suf
fering at the h an ds o f the illusory energy in the form o f Dhrtar-
astra’s curse. A t the sam e tim e, he saw w ithin his suffering a
blessing from Krsna. T herefore, he took advan tage o f the oppor
tunity the ban ish m en t afforded and w andered the earth, free of
political intrigue, seeking only pure K rsna consciousness in a life
o f ren u n ciation an d devotion.
T h is proves th at not only Krsna ch an ges the energies from
m aterial to spiritual; the devotee has th at power too, sim ply by
his attitude. W hen a devotee stops seeing the events in his life as
if they were caused by som eone else, and w hen he starts to accept
th at everything he experiences is a reaction to his own karma,
w hen he can understand beyond that that everything com es ulti
m ately from Krsna, then the m aterial energy will n ot act on him
to drag him down. H e will be happy regardless o f the circum
stance, w hether in sum m er or winter, through fam e or infamy.
T h e ath eists think that the d evotee’s vision is m ad. Karl
M arx called religion the “opiate o f the m asses” because o f this
very vision. M arx d id n ’t believe in G o d . H e believed in m an,
and he w anted m an to im prove his econ om ic con dition through
revolution, n ot through faith. H e th ought religion led to irre
sponsibility and apathy.
O ur experien ce proves, however, th at we are pow erless to
ch an ge m uch in this world. W e can n o t even m anage, often, to
live in relative peace. We certainly h ave little control over our
ow n prosperity. T h e m aterial nature always m anages to frustrate
our plans. W ealth is always gained at the cost o f others. T h a t is
the nature o f this world. Ju st as we reach the top, cruel fate slaps
us with d eath or betrayal or sim ply deep dissatisfaction. W hat
then does anyone gain by being m aterially successful? Life is so
tem porary and fortunes are fickle. Successful in this life, we may
find ourselves in a hellish con dition in the next.
T h erefore, this w isdom should drive us to tolerate the pains
d ealt out by the m aterial energy and to respond with penance,
repen tan ce, and the w illingness to glorify G od .
I Remember
1 suffered w hen I was in the U .S . Navy. It left me with a
strong distaste for being part o f the Establishm ent.
I rem em ber Dr. A lex an d er telling me it was good that I was
an enlisted m an and n ot a N av al officer. Sh e was a M arxist. She
th ought it w ould benefit me to know the plight o f the ordinary
sailor. A n d it’s true, I saw that suffering up close. I learned from
th at th at I d id n ’t w ant to becom e an accom plice to the system ,
but n eith er was I an ordinary Joe.
I rem em ber reading C e lin e in my bunk with the curtain
draw n. M y college buddies read him too. We thought he was
great. I also read The G ay Science, by N ietszche, and trash.
I rem em ber G iriraja jo in in g IS K C O N (h is nam e was G le n n

T eton th en ). H e had a red car and we loaded the devotees into
it. T h u gs and punks from S o u th B oston threatened us or jeered
w hen we ch an ted on the C om m on , an d the local A llsto n h oo d
lum s attacked us in our house.
I rem em ber Srila Prabhupada com in g to B oston and lectur
ing at the A rlin gton Street C h u rch . H e shouted, “ Bhaktosil”
referring to th at Bhagavad-gita verse. H e looked beautiful and I
was thrilled. I wore a suit jack et over my dhoti and kurta.
I rem em ber w alking beh in d or beside Prabhupada on his
m orning w alks. Som etim es he would turn to me. H e knew I had
to go to work soon at the W elfare office.
W ell, do any o f these m em ories remind me o f a tim e when I
converted the m aterial energy to spirit? W hen those guys a t
tacked our tem ple, that was the m aterial energy acting. T hey
were intoxicated with hate and envy. It was a test o f our courage
and especially o f our com m itm ent to Krsna consciousness. Per
haps it purified us. I did n ’t think about it much while it happened,
but when it was over, I could see that Krsna had enabled the
devotees to protect one another from the dem ons. Yes, even then
the m aterial energy acted favorably if we had the right attitude.
I explain ed a sim ilar poin t on ce on a T V show in N ew York.
1 said th at w hen you use som eth in g m aterial for Krsna, it
becom es spiritual, and I held up a pair o f brass karatalas. S o m e
thing is m aterial or spiritual depen din g on your consciousness
toward it.
T h ere is no p oin t rem em bering anym ore. I have to travel

tonight. I am sore from sittin g in this ch air too long. W hoever
is in the room above this one has been running the fan all night
and the m otor is w hirring louder th an the one in my ow n room.
It rem inds me o f a h eart murmur.
D o we learn from the past? If not, we will h ave to repeat the
sam e m istakes.
A lesson I am attem pting to learn from an IS K C O N m istake:

d o n ’t give up integrity ju st because som eone tells you th at you
are n ot serving S rila Prabhupada unless you serve in th eir way.
O my Lord, I h ave read so m any books on the art o f h on est
writing, but it’s You who can best teach me to release my inner
voice. A ll inspiration com es from You. Please allow me to
rem ain pure and direct.
W arm , cold— never at peace.
R em em ber the sinking o f “T h e M ain e” and the attack on
Pearl H arbor? H irosh im a was bom bed soon after. S o m any p e o
ple died. W ar m ean t suffering in trenches and frayed nerves and
d eath and pain an d surgery w ithout an esth esia, death cam ps, gas
cham bers, bein g torn asunder lim b by limb.
For others, it m eant han gin g out in cafeterias drinking
C o k e s, w anting to be accepted by society.
M y dear Lord, I w ant to becom e purified. Please link my life

verse by verse to Srim ad'Bhagavatam . M ake my very acts spiri
tual and allow m e to feel the fire o f p enan ce an d repentance.
I’m sorry I got entangled here in the first place. Truly sorry.
B itter m em ories help rem ind me of that. I still m ake m any m is
takes an d stum ble often. A tiny son.
Written in Memo Pad While Attending Srimad-

Bhagavatam Class, Hare Krishna Land, Juhu Beach,
February 19, 1996
I h ave to adm it th at I did n ’t enjoy today’s Bhagavatam class,
n ot because o f the lecture so m uch, but because I felt weak. T h e
lecture echoed shrilly over the speakers and bounced off the m ar
ble walls. I sat am id so m any devotees and heard the speaker
repeat the verse four times. It felt like a ritual, not the real thing.
C o u ld n ’t pay atten tion . It’s n ot the speaker’s fault. H e spoke,
or the Bhagavatam spoke, on how dream s are a m etaphor for
m aterial existen ce. S p irit is real and m atter is illusory, like a
dream . H e gave stories, exam ples, analogies, and he even told
jokes, but by then, everything was begin n in g to feel drawn out
and belabored. It was the pain burning through the m edicine I
now take. I w anted to lie down. C o n sciou s th at I was writing
w hile he spoke.
Text 35
evarh janm ani karmani

hy akartur ajanasya ca
vam ayanti sma kavayo
veda-guhyani hrt-pateh
T h u s learn ed m en d escribe the b irth s an d activ ities o f the

u n b o rn an d in active, w hich is u n d isco v erab le even in the
V edic lite ratu re s. H e is th e L o rd o f th e h eart.
Comment
T h e verse is beautiful. All Bhagavatam verses are beautiful,
alb p erfect, eternal, and true. A lth o u gh som e verses seem merely
inform ative to us, each verse is filled with bhakti. U nfortunately,
we m ay n ot always be able to penetrate each verse and see the
bhakti there. Anyway, this verse is nice: “Learned m en (kavayah)

describe (vam ayanti) the activities o f the Lord o f the heart,
w hose nature is undiscoverable even by the Vedas (veda-
guhyani).’’ T h is rem inds me o f the verse, tarko 'pratisthah srntayo
vibhinna . . . T h e truth can n ot be know n by logic or even the
in d epen d en t study o f sastra; by follow ing the mahajanas, in
w hose h eart the Lord is hidden, we can receive the Lord’s
darsana. T herefore, let us hear from the mahajanas and live with
th em in their w orship o f the Lord.
W h en we speak o f the mahajanas, we are usually referring to
Yam araja, Lord S iv a , Bali M ah araja, and Bhlsm adeva, but Srila
Prabhupada is also a mahajana. H e is the m ahajana who repre
sen ts all the rest. H e teach es that the individual souls and the
Lord are one in quality and th at they are eternal and spiritual.
T h is is such good news for we who are overw helm ed by the
details o f daily life. We are spirit souls; even our nature is undis
coverable in the Vedas. We can understand it only by hearing
from the spiritual master, who represents the V edic conclusion.
I am spirit soul. I had heard th at before m eeting Prabhupada.
I saw it in a book on the Upanisads and 1 thought it was a cad e
m ic rhetoric. I hardly took it seriously, this H indu idea. W hat
ch an ged my m ind was w hen I stum bled into 26 S eco n d A venue
on e day and heard Sw am iji exp lain it. I am spirit soul and Krsna
is Suprem e Sp irit. I heard his co n viction , his realization, and I
believed it.
Sw am iji assured us that we were quite entangled in m atter,
despite our spiritual nature. H e did n ’t hide the facts. It was
worse th an we had ever im agined, even after h aving read Franz
K afka or the existen tialists. K afka com pared m an ’s plight to the
victim o f a legal case in his The Trial. I had no idea, however,
th at my karm a was so binding after having read that story.
Sw am iji also assured us th at Krsna never becom es entangled in
m atter. A n d o f course, he assured us that we could becom e free
by h earin g the truth. Im agine, just by hearing o f the suprem e,
tran scen d en tal nature o f G o d , we can becom e free. H ow ’s that

for potency?
T h e L o rd ’s activities are con fiden tial. We can com b the
V edic literature and n ot com e up with deep understanding o f
them . O n ly the d evotee can give us the essence, as Prabhupada
did in his tran slation o f Srim ad'Bhagavatam . “W e should always
take advan tage o f the narrations o f the activities o f the Lord,
w hich are m editation s on Brahm an in the m ost co n ven ien t and
palatab le form .”
Diary Catch-up
S in ce I wrote here last, I have traveled from M um bai to
L o n d on to N ew York C ity to Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania. Big
deal. It’s 11:30 P.M. an d I’m typing, but the m achine is loud. I do
it anyway at the risk o f w aking the devotees in this house.
Let me tell you about w hat happened w hen I left the Bom bay
tem ple. We arrived at the airport, and D evakin an dan a went to
the front o f the line, gave the policem en som e sweets, and asked
them to please allow M adhu and I to go first. O n e policem an
said th at the line was being held up because o f a bom b scare, but
after a few m inutes, he w aved us forward. I knew the oth er p eo
ple in line would resent us, but it was a relief not to h ave to face
the long wait. T h e n we exchan ged sm iles with D evakin an dan a
and his wife, w aved good-bye, and overlooked the sea o f angry
faces behind us. Sorry folks, this one slipped ahead o f you
because o f the potency o f krsna-prasadam and the Lord’s d e v o
tees in India. T h e n o ff we w ent, into the world o f the British
A irw ays flight and the rest is my own little history. N ow I’m
here, trying to adjust my body to a new tim e zone, and trying to
get back into reading the Bhagavatam.
I felt a special blessing for this project while I was in India. I
felt protected there, unlikely to be distracted by anything else.
India has both a ch aste and ch asten ing nature. T h is quality
is inextricably m ixed with the in con ven ience and m aterial
backw ardness o f India. Prabhupada says th at Indians try “artifi

cially” to becom e advan ced m aterialists. R em em ber all those
days in K h argone with me com plain in g about the dirty rug, the
m ice, the inability o f our hosts to understand our language or
com e through on all our dem ands? H e said he couldn ’t send a
fax because “Som eth in g is w rong with the talar." T alar? N ow
th at I’ve left India, however, I recognize the special flow o f
m ercy I felt w hile I was there.
I w ant to stay con nected with th at flow. O f course, spiritual
life is n ot lim ited to geography or n ation. Prabhupada h im self
ch am pion ed our ability to practice Krsna consciousness any
where. H e even reprim anded his Indian brothers as dullards for
n eglectin g K rsna, and he said th at the W estern boys and girls
were good. Let m e therefore be good by entering the Bhagavatam.
Anyway, my poin t in saying all this is th at I w anted you to
know th at it is certainly different here. I will visit Stroudsburg
for a w eek w hile M adh u fixes our van, then travel on to Saran-
agati, w here I hope to enter deeply into the Bhagavatam verses.
If som eon e disapproves o f my plans, then all I can do is a p o lo
gize an d con tin u e to push my way to the front o f the line.
Automatic Writ
I’m tired. I wrote a little and
w ant to say it’s enough. L et me
ch an t on my beads. But I have
more to say. Learned m en speak
o f G o d . T h o se who are blessed,
listen. We are spirit. W h at can
th at m ean? It m eans th at w hen
the body dies, we d o n ’t. We go on
into an oth er em bodied life. But
w hat about all the things we
have fought for in this world? We leave them behind, or maybe
not, but if we are intelligent, we will con tin u e to fix ourselves in
K rsna consciousness.
B ooks here. Diary of George Fox, Jo h n W oolm an, Anai's N in .

Big deal. I w ant to write, but hand says, “A m 1 an oracle?
Okay, I see trouble ahead. Power to the p en .”
Learn ed m en (w rite th at) speak o f the Lord in the heart who
is n ot know n to the Vedas. I think o f the Vedas and w hat they
have to do with IS K C O N and my own narrow row. G o ahead,
row it, I say. I d o n ’t w ant to m ake trouble an d all th at jazz.
H e blew a h orn o f plenty,

C e cil Taylor on piano,
an d my friends sen t goodies to this house by
ph on e and m ail— a pair o f slippers,
m ilk an d co okies at 5, while
I drew a picture o f a m an
reading book, playing alto sax,
dream ing, but n ot always rem em bering
w hat he dream t. You see,
they say th at dream s are there to help you,
to aw aken you to som eth in g im portant in your life. I w ish I
dream t o f Bhagavatam pastim es, o f love for K rsna, O supplier
o f dream s.
I’m back in A m erica and I feel it. It m ust be the A m erican
vitam in s an d warm shoes and the songs in the air. It c a n ’t be he
w ho is w riting this to the world w ho never wrote him.
C a n you p ractice love o f G o d in the W est? W hy n ot? I write
to release the diversions, to entertain , to bedevil, to stuff a p ep
per, an d to rid m yself o f fear an d pain an d the desire to escape.
O jazz m en o f my soul,
give joy, your best
an d talk o f K rsna,
O kavayah. M usic is for that.
I saw houses as the plane descended over N ew York through

the fog, an d the graveyard described in The G reat Gatsby (Long
Islan d). S o m e guy in the seat in front o f me was w atching a cops
and robbers m ovie until the plane landed and the m ovie screen
w ent blank. Take an oth er Bhagavatam verse and turn to that.
D ear reader, I got lost during the six-hour car ride in the fog
from JF K to Stroudsburg. N ow I feel lost w hen I look at the
stack o f m ail aw aiting me on my desk. W hat can I possibly say
to them all? K rsna, Krsna, K rsna— H e is the Lord o f all things,
the Lord o f the heart. H is activities in any in carn ation are rel-
ishable. H ear th at from your spiritual master. G e t through the
day w ith th at taste.
Lord, my last will and writ
is here: he died for K rsna consciousness, we know, but we saw
quite a few oth er books scattered around the room . Did he think
they would help— w hat C elin e and others said?
C u riosity killed the cat,
satisfaction brought it back.
Learned m en talk o f the Lord, who is not always revealed in
the Vedas. H is pastim es, names, and forms are confidential. W hat
the Vedas do describe needs to be explained by the devotees. You
can read Krsna'karnam rta, but without the pure d ev o tees grace,
the pastim es w on’t appear in your heart. Krsna is hidden deep in
the heart o f H is pure devotee. T h a t’s w hat confidential means,
and sharing confidences m eans sharing Krsna. It’s som ething we
earn, not som ething we have. I can ’t get it by my autom atic writ
ing; you can ’t get it either by som e m eans or other. T here is only
one way: go to the pure devotee. D o you understand?
Yes, yes, we h ave so little time
an d know little how to use it well.
T h is half-hour writing tim e, my pen rum m aging around my
soul. Im ages o f B o sn ia’s 2 0 ,000 troops, o f this typewriter in the
suburbs, o f nourishing food, o f an outfitted van sent to Europe
Krsna Is the Source of AU Incarnations 55
leavin g m e still to face the blan k page. T h e Bhagavatam is the

rem edy for all ills. Before I die (m y pen h an d turns w hite and
b on y), let m e write on it as m uch as possible.
Text 36
sa va idam visvam amoghaAilah

srjaty avaty atti na sajjate ’smin
bhiitesu cantarhita atma-tantrah
sad-vargikarh jighrati sad-gunesah
The Lord, whose activities are always spotless, is the master

of the six senses and is fully omnipotent with six opulences.
H e creates the manifested universes, maintains them and
annihilates them without being in the least affected. H e is
within every living being and is always independent.
Comment
Lord K rsna is described here in an oth er classic statem en t o f
V aisn av a theology. Verses like these flow con stantly from Vyasa-
deva in th e Bhagavatam , and each m ay be savored to enrich our
sraddha an d know ledge o f G o d . I sense th at it does my w hole
bein g good ju st to pass these con cep ts through my system . We
h ave h eard how m ilk creates fine brain tissue so th at we can
understand tran scen d en tal know ledge. W h at then to speak o f
the good effect the Bhagavatam has upon the m ind and heart?
A s we com preh en d the verses, we should w orship them an d beg
th em to stay fixed in our m em ories. W e m ay n ot h ave the
capacity to m em orize each verse, or even fragm ents o f verses,
but we should pray to keep the essence, the m essage.
K rsn a’s activities are spotless (amoghaAilah). H e is the m aster
o f the six senses ( sat'guna~isah) and the six opulences (sat-
vargikam). H e creates the cosm os, th en m ain tain s it, and later
an n ih ilates it— “w ithout being in the least affected."
W h en we hear o f Lord K rsna’s qualities, we know th at the

prim e difference betw een G o d and the living beings is th at H e
is th e creator and we are the created. S rila Prabhupada usually
says th at we are n ot “created” but are eternal, “fragm ental parts
o f the Sup rem e Lord.” (Bg. 15.7) A lth o u gh th at’s true, Prabhu-
pada also acknow ledges th at we h ave been created in the sense
th at the jivas are entirely depen den t on the Suprem e Person
eith er directly or through H is energies and agents.
S rila Prabhupada states th at amoghaAilah m eans, “T h ere is
n oth in g lam entable in H is creatio n .” Paramahamsas always see
the perfection o f G o d ’s creation. T h ey also see th at ath eists
spend m ost o f their tim e trying to rearrange the Lord’s plan for
the world. T h e mahabhagavata is so com passion ate, however,
th at despite the disruption caused by the ath eists, he descends
w ith the vision o f a madhyama'adhikdri (he m akes distin ction s
betw een G o d , devotees, dem ons, an d the in n ocen t), and he
preaches. By his preaching, he establish es th at there is no fault
in G o d ’s creation, and th at the fault is really in our approach to
it. W h en we live w ith K rsna in the center, we will stop ex p lo it
ing m aterial resources and th ere
fore stop d evastatin g the planet.
By follow ing H is way, we will
both h elp others and deliver our
selves to V aikuntha (G o lo k a ).
W h en we try to hold G o d
responsible for the state o f the
m aterial world, we m isunderstand
H im and H is relationsh ip with
the world. T h o se w ho criticize
G o d are foolish. T h o se who try to
d e fen d or ju stify G o d ’s ways
w ithin the scope o f hum an m oral understanding are ridiculous.
S u ch persons argue for G o d ’s goodness but w ant to lim it H is
power. W e can know G o d only w hen we accep t His version
o f H im self.
Prabhupada states th at the non-godly elem en ts can never

approach G o d . T h is refers n ot only to defian t dem ons, but also
to those w ho are trying to becom e purified. Sp iritual life may
seem h opeless if we are unable to approach G o d w hile we h ave
anarthas. It’s n ot th at G o d unfairly distan ces H im self from us,
but we sim ply c a n ’t be with H im in an impure state. W e would
“ruin” H is lila. Anyway, h avin g anarthas m eans we w ouldn’t
h ave the interest to participate in H is lila— n ot really. We need
to clean ourselves, becom e transcendentally pure, and thus
open the door for our entrance into K rsna’s spotless activities.
T h is is the m ean in g o f sadhana. Sadhana m eans those a c tiv i
ties w hich will bring out our love o f G o d (an d free us o f an-
arthas). Sadhana is the p ath to perfection, and it is essen tial th at
a devotee practice it seriously if he actually desires the goal.
By practicin g sadhana, anartha-nivrtti will autom atically be
accom plish ed. We are n ot innately ungodly. W e are pure spirit
souls, servan ts o f Krsna. Sadhana in this age m eans ch an tin g the
holy n am e, the great purifier.
orh apavitrah pavitro va

sarvdvastham gato 'pi va
yah smaret pundarikaksam
sa bahyabhyantarah sucih
sri'visnu, sri-visnu, sri-visnw
Whether one is purified or unpurified or in any condition of life,

one should chant the holy name of the lotus-eyed Lord, Sri Krsna.
— Garuda Purana
W h en Prabhupada states th at Lord K rsna is con nected w ith

this m aterial creatio n superficially, “ as one sm ells odor w ithout
bein g con n ected with the odorous article,” he is referring to
K rsn a’s relation sh ip with m atter. It d oesn ’t m ean, however, th at
K rsna is related only superficially to the jivas. T h e jivas are H is
parts an d parcels, H is sons and daughters. W e h ave read p rev i
ously th at K rsna feels pain w hen H e sees the jiv as’ suffering. O ur
relation sh ip w ith K rsna is th at intim ate. Because o f that, K rsna
will n o t touch our free will. If we ch oose to suffer by trying to

exp lo it m atter, if we decide th at we w ant to try bein g the lords
o f all we survey and by so doing choose to lessen our intim acy
w ith K rsna, H e will n ot interfere. K rsna never forgets us, but we
may feel superficial or even com pletely forgetful in our relation-
It is n ot always so easy to
regain our form er in tim acy
sin ce we h ave n eglected it for
so long. A gain , we need guru
and sadhana. Prabhupada’s in
struction s are clear: give up
sense gratification and engage
your body, m ind, and words in
H is serv ice. T o love K rsn a
m eans to please H im , and th at
m eans sacrificing lust.
Before reading this verse th is m orn in g, I w as reading

Caitanya-caritam rta. A t the begin n in g o f C h ap te r Two o f the
M adhya4ila, Prabhupada tells us th at K rsnadasa K aviraja drew
inform ation from R agh u n ath a dasa G o sv am i. S v aru p a Dam o-
dara G o sv am i is considered the authority on Lord C aitan y a, and
R agh u n ath a was his student. W hen I read this, I felt how my
ow n attem p t to write on the Bhagavatam is tiny an d insignifi
can t. S till, I h ave a personal co n n ection to S rila Prabhupada.
T h a t is the tran scen den tal reality in my otherw ise foolish and
m isguided life.
T o be able to ch urn up K rsna conscious topics is valuable,
even th ough it’s m e doing it. But it’s only valuable if I keep
m yself fit. O n e im portant way to do th at is to contin u e my
un m otivated reading o f Prabhupada’s books. W hen I read in a
personal way, n ot m aking judgm ents or criticism s, and withdraw
m yself from oth er influences, th en I feel my faith building. I
often wonder why my faith has had its ups and downs, why it gets
injured or suddenly seems to deteriorate. I can only say that it
com es from exposing m yself to the m aterial energy. A fter all, the
m ind is a mirror and it will reflect whatever is put before it. If I put
Krsna before it constantly and consistently, it will reflect Krsna.
Freer. I feel like a bedraggled donkey physically, but my spirit

w ants to sing. L et the m usic com e out o f this broken container,
but m ake a nice sound, please. K rsn a’s activities are spotless.
Am ogha'lilah. I sh ould n ’t try to sling the slan g to invoke G o d .
U se the best w ords because H e is U ttam aslo k a. But language is
pungent an d we sh ould n ’t m ake it flat in our attem pts to praise.
M y p o in t is, d o n ’t talk about G o d in too h um an terms.
I read a ridiculous an ecd ote about Jesus revealing to a w om an
th at she was too m uch into prayer an d should instead enjoy life
w ith her husband. S h e said she was praying to Jesus, and then
he revealed to her th at he w asn’t w ith her but had gone down
to th e basem en t to w atch the football gam e on T V w ith her
husband. W hy would Jesus do that? R idiculous. I d id n ’t like
h earin g it. T h a t’s w hat I m ean. I d on ’t w ant to put K rsna into a
ridiculous co n te xt by som e foolish expression. M akin g H im
“m ore h u m an ” is n ot necessarily love.
W r it
R elease words an d em otion. I was exposed to the w orld’s co n
tam in ation ju st like anyone else. M y fath er knew it and tried to
protect me. H e even once tried to m ake sure I knew to stay clear
o f a barber w ho was a pervert and who would invite kids to
Yankee Stad ium . M y fath er w anted m e to be a winner, n ot a
loser, an officer, n ot a com m on sailor.
S ee ? I d id n ’t w ant to write all that, but som etim es it builds a
bridge to hurt an d truth. Whew.
(H ead , please cooperate and let me w rite.) D ad, you were a
w hite m an. I liked the “nigger’s” (your word) m usic. I was b egin
n in g to turn black. D ad, you were wrong on m any counts. N o t

your fault, I know, because you d id n ’t h ave a Liberal A rts edu
catio n as I did. H a! We were both wrong in so m any ways.
R em em ber th at beach house in A valon ? I felt so m uch angst.
I co u ld n ’t find my way, but I knew th at Eric D olphy’s m usic was
as p oign an t as the cry o f a seagull. It d id n ’t deliver me.
T h e Sw am i cam e and I parted with you, tattooed dad. I close
the book. T h ese m em ories con tin ue to surface, but at least all
roads lead to Sw am iji and my gratitude to him.
I wore a pin-striped sum m er suit jacket. I was a N Y C youth
on am ph etam in es and w eight-reducing pills. How quickly the
can dle burned at both ends in my prune-like life. I would have
been snuffed out, thrown in the garbage.
I w on ’t take tim e to explain.
Text 37
na casya kascin nipunena dhatur

avaiti jantuh kumanisa utih
namani rupani mano-vacobhih
santanm to nata-caryam ivajnah
The foolish with a poor fund of knowledge cannot know the

transcendental nature of the forms, names and activities of
the Lord, who is playing like an actor in a drama. N or can
they express such things, neither in their speculations nor in
their words.
Comment
T h e A b solu te Truth is beyond sensual perception or m ental
specu lation . A cce p tin g this truth, som e philosophers say th at
the A b solu te Truth can n ot be described as a person with a c tiv
ities or nam es. A n y attem p t to describe the A bsolute Truth will
fail because our words and thoughts are m aterial. T h e A bsolute,
they say, m ust be form less, inconceivable. R eal Spirit has no
quality, say the M ayavadis, and the Buddhists agree in their d o c
trine o f “ n o-th in g” (it does n ot exist, yet you can n ot say it
does n ot exist. T h e Buddhists m ain tain a system o f tantalizing
word jugglery in their rh etoric). T h e Taoists say, “T h e way that
can be expressed is n ot the True Way.” However, the V aisnavas
teach th at we can know the A bsolute Truth in H is spiritual,
positive existen ce w hen we becom e purified and use our tran
scen den tal senses and words. T h is is w hat gives us release from
both m iserable m atter and the dry sp ecu lation o f the negative
approach to spirit.
S o m e persons describe K rsna’s activities w ithout scriptural
authority. In this way, audiences are m isled. T herefore, for m ost
people, K rsn a’s activities rem ain m ysterious and unknow n.
S p ecu la to rs d o n ’t really respect scripture. R ather, they

e xp lain th in gs boldly according to their ow n interpretation “as
if K rsna left H is Bhagavad-gitd to be im proved upon by rascals.”
T h e Lord is described as an actor in a dram a or a stage magi-
cian . H is child-like audience can n ot understand the sim ple
m ech an ics o f H is expert perform ance because even the soph is
ticated are bew ildered by it. K rsna m ystifies everyone. “ But M e
n o one know s.” M ayavadls display their ignorance w hen they
express the co n victio n th at G o d ’s nam es and lilas are sym bology
or m aterial. T h e d evotees are advised to -v oid them .
T h e m ission o f the K rsna consciousness m ovem ent is to in
struct the ignorant. Lord C aitan y a encouraged each and every
d evotee to tell w hom ever they m et about Krsna. If people are
sch ooled in M ayavada philosophy, however, it becom es the
n in th offense in ch an tin g to try to preach to them . W e should
n ot instruct the glories o f the holy nam e to the faithless.
Preachers can first test the waters to ensure th at they are speak
ing to the in n ocen t and n ot the determ ined atheist. If the per
son m ocks the scriptures, then there is no use trying to preach
to them . B etter to give them a little prasadam and let them
becom e infected with K rsna consciousness in th at way.
K rsna is revealed to the d evotees only through devotion al
service. D evo tion al service begins with sravanam kirtanam visnoh
sm aranam . If we are fortunate enough to hear from a pure d e v o
tee w ho speaks safely from sastra, then we can at on ce enter the
m ysterious region o f K rsna’s nature. Eventually, if we are sub
m issive, we will learn to ourselves speak about K rsna with co n
v iction and faith and be able to help others in their un der
stan d in g o f H im . Prabhupada once told us th at if we w anted to
represent K rsna, we could n ’t add to or subtract from w hat we
h ad heard from authority.
W e som etim es h ear the advice th at we shouldn ’t try too hard
to m aster a task. Better th at we work at it steadily an d gradually
build co n fiden ce and expertise. Sim ilarly, we shouldn ’t try too
hard to visualize w hat is being said about K rsna in the Bhdg-

avatam . W hy? B ecause we m ay try to place the Bhagavatam's
words into a m aterial co n text. A t least we may try to do that
until we are purified. W e can easily fall into the Dr. Frog m en
tality by trying to p lace V edic truth w ithin our own fram e o f ref
erence. W ithout purity, we m ay fall into m ental speculation, and
m ental sp ecu lation leads to pride in our own ability to think.
But w hat kind o f brain pow er can we possibly h ave in the face
o f the Vedasl Bein g attach ed to the pow er o f our ow n in telli
gence m ay hinder us from becom ing attach ed to K rsna’s revela
tion. T h u s we m ay becom e frustrated w hen we hear about Krsna.
W e will be rescued from our in evitable confusion or lack o f
understanding w hen we inquire subm issively from devotees
w ith m ore experien ce. A lth o u g h we d on ’t always like to h ear it,
their ad vice is the best: “ Be patien t an d go on ch an tin g and
h earin g.” Prabhupada was con fiden t th at ch an tin g an d hearing
would purify an d en ligh ten his follow ers because he had experi
ence o f K rsn a’s power. A n d if devotees said they co u ld n ’t ch an t
over the raging m ind, he was con fid en t th at by continu in g the
process, the ch an tin g itself w ould con trol the m ind.
H earin g w ithout sp ecu lation from more experienced d e v o
tees requires hum ility. W e h ave to start with the adm ittance
th at we d o n ’t know the A b solu te Truth, and we have to learn to
respect guru an d sastra. W e also h ave to be quiet so th at they
can speak, and p atien t with our ow n lim itations.
In his 1961 version o f this Bhagavatam verse, Prabhupada

w rites, “T h e fo o lish m a n w ith p oo r fund o f kn o w led ge.”
“F oolish m an ,” one word, like “fish erm an .”
B ack at the S electric. I am n ot the “foolish m an ” w ho sp ecu

lates on the A bsolu te. I am the sober preacher. D id n ’t I lecture
in C h ow patty (alth o ugh I did n ’t realize my good fortune)? K rsna
keeps m e in check.
T h e d evotees at C h ow patty told me it was exactly twenty

m inutes from H are K rishna L an d to their tem ple. T h ere was a
d igital clock on the dashboard o f M ultilal’s car, and I checked it
periodically to see if they were right. People often under-
exaggerate distan ces to encourage me to go places. We left at
4 :30 A .M ., drove through a M uslim neighborhood, past the
open -air cafe where m any people were gathered in their little
w hite M uslim caps, p ast sleeping cows and Pepsi signs and C o k e
signs an d trash— tw enty-five m inutes total. N o t bad.
T h e devotees in C h ow patty were affectionate and treated me
like som eon e special. T h ere was a statue o f H an um an to one side
o f the h all facing G aruda, both lit up in alcoves. R adha-
G o p ln a th a were surrounded by birds and deer on the altar. I lec
tured on truthfulness, then w ent to a room and accepted break
fast. I d id n ’t stay long, though. I heard they were trying to pub
lish Bhagavad'gitd, and Jayad vaita Sw am i visited for two m onths.
B ack to the them e. T h o se with a poor fund o f know ledge
can n o t know K rsna. T h ey h ear about H im but take H im as a
myth. W hy d id n ’t we fall into that trap? O n ly by Prabhupada’s
grace. It’s n ot ju st a m atter o f logic but o f love, and Prabhupada
show ed us K rsna with love.
I still can ’t claim that I know Krsna, at least not as the gopis
know H im . T h e gopis love Krsna so totally that they are unhappy
if they ca n ’t see H im even for a minute. R ad h a’s cam p som etim es
becom es angry with Krsna in their lovers’ quarrels, and in this
way, they give Krsna pleasure, evoking more and more love from
H im . T h eir hearts break when H e goes to M athura, and they feel
only pain and m adness. C om pared to them , I am a nonsense.
N ob od y can describe the transcendental nature o f the A b
solute Truth by m ind or speech. K rsna is Krsna.
W ell, can we draw it? Bhakti, Sam ik a R si’s young daughter,
gave m e a draw ing o f R ad h a an d K rsna flying in the sky. R adh a
is racin g ahead o f K rsna, and Bhakti wrote a note to explain:
“R ad h a is ahead o f K rsna because o f H er great love for H im ,
w hich defeats H im .” S u ch an ad van ced con cep t from such a

young child. S h e m eans it simply, but it m akes m e w ant to draw
K rsna too.
H ere we sit like gopis—

n ot like gopis,
but you know w hat 1 m ean— ch an tin g
“K rsna, K rsna, K rsna,” H is
nam es the easiest access.
Far away, but com in g closer
by ch an tin g.
Q uick, I did this pleasin g form o f Visnu. Please forgive me.

A p p les fall
by gravity,
we digest through inner fire,
h eart beats, we draw Visnu—
it’s all the L o rd ’s mercy.
Text 38
sa veda dhatuh padavim parasya

duranta-viryasya rathahga'paneh
yo ’may ay a santatayanuvrttya
bhajeta tat'pada'Saroja-gandham
Only those who render unreserved, uninterrupted, favorable

service unto the lotus feet of the Lord, who carries the wheel
of the chariot in H is hand, can know the creator of the uni
verse in H is full glory, power and transcendence.
Comment
It seem s I have heard this verse before. Is it etched in stone
som ewhere on an archway over a tem ple entrance? Is it etched in
my heart, covered with dust? In my book o f favorite quotations?
It asserts the need for exclusive devotion: only those who
render uninterrupted, un m otivated devotion al service to the
Lord accordin g to H is pleasure can understand H im .
O f course, this is sim ilar to R upa G o sv a m i’s fam ous verse in
Sri Bhakti-rasamrta'sindhu, anydbhildsita-sunyam. B oth verses d e
scribe the high est culture o f bhakti. Pure bhakti is n ot m ixed with
karm a or jnana. O n ly favorable, unalloyed d evotion al service is
considered pure bhakti. N o sense gratification, no false self-
abn egation , no interruption.
S rila Prabh upada states th at all living beings serve Lord
K rsna, even those who do so under the force o f m aterial nature.
T h ere are tw o sim ilar words in San skrit, sastra and sastra. Sastra
m eans scripture or directions for religious life. T h o se who are
pious an d in telligen t follow the Lord by obeying sastra. T h e
word sastra m ean s w eapon. T h o se foolish rascals who refuse to
obey the scriptures will be forced to obey K rsna’s “w eapon s.” In
both ways, we are govern ed by sastra.
In th e previous purport, S rila Prabhupada said th at non-

devotee speculators “ are unable to penetrate into the m ysterious
region o f tran scen den ce.” H ere he w rites o f the pure devotees as
th ose w ho “c a n enter into the m ysterious region o f tran scen
dence by the m ercy o f the Lord.” Lord K rsna is in everyone’s
heart. W h en H e sees us sincerely attem pting to serve H im , H e
provides the in telligen ce by w hich we can approach H im .
U n favo rab le service is w hen we are forced to obey the Lord
under the pressure o f the m aterial energy. It is like the service
rendered by a prisoner. W h en we practice bhakti, we engage in
seva. Seva is voluntary. B ut th at doesn ’t m ean th at those who
are n ot p racticin g K rsna con sciousn ess are n ot serving Krsna.
Like an im als, they are so tightly bound by the laws o f m aterial
nature th at they h ave n o ch oice but to serve the Lord’s pur
poses. T h e rascal n on devotee m ay say, “ I will never serve G o d !”
but he must serve; it is his etern al nature to do so.
O n e exam p le o f a person w ho was unfavorably K rsna c o n
scious is K am sa. H e heard th at he w ould be killed by D evakl’s
eigh th son , an d later he learned from N arad a th at th at son
w ould be V isnu. K am sa th en th ought o f K rsna day and night,
but in an unfavorable way, h opin g to kill H im . T h is is an e xam
ple o f intense but unfavorable K rsna consciousness.
If we w ant to becom e voluntary servants, we ca n ’t be co m
p lacen t w hen we see signs o f unfavorable m editation or indif
ference to K rsn a’s desires. W h en we recognize these corruptions
o f our natural, co n stitu tio n al m ood, we should feel regret for
them . T h ey are a sickness o f spirit. T h ey h ave to be transform ed
into positive rem em brance and d epen den ce if they are to b e
com e purified. Feel the raw p ain o f the corruption.
E v en w hen we regret our con dition , we can n o t expect to b e
com e perfect overn igh t. T herefore, we also h ave to practice
patien ce an d forgiveness. By forgiveness I m ean th at we should
learn to forgive ourselves for our shortcom ings, trusting in the
purifying poten cy o f the Lord’s m ercy to save us. T h is is n ot the
sam e th in g as com placency, where we do n ot recognize K rsna’s

u n co n d ition al love and our ow n dependence on H im , but we
are lack ad aisical toward our spiritual practices. K rsna states,
yasya deve para bhaktir— the act o f rem aining faithful and affec
tion ate tow ard guru and K rsna will push us forward in spiritual
life. By hearing, we will autom atically give up our tendencies for
fruitive work an d m en tal speculation.
P rabhupada m entions th at the m ental speculators “rem ain in
darkness all the tim e.” H ow do som e fools com e out o f the dark
ness an d find K rsna? W hat is it th at m akes som e people sud
denly receive K rsn a’s mercy? If karm a and jn an a are n ot qualifi
cation s, th en w hat is it we h ave to do to receive bhakti?
Prabh upada exp lain s th at by previously perform ing d e v o
tion al service, even unknow ingly (ajn ata'Su k rti), a m aterialist
can clim b out o f ignorance and take to devotion al service. T h e
Lord is grateful; H e does n ot n eglect anyone who voluntarily
renders H im service, even if it is done w ithout full un derstand
ing. T h e Lord is so grateful th at H e repays such service w ith the
opportunity to com e back to H im through the bhakti process.
T h e d evotee can also give th at mercy. T h e d evotee’s mercy is
aggressive. Prabhupada was n ot invited to A m erica, but he
cam e anyway. W e did n ’t ask him to translate the Bhagavatam,
but he did it anyway. R eluctantly, slowly, he nurtured us into
taking his mercy. In th at sense, Prabhupada was the pure servant
o f Lord C aitan y a, who ordered H is preachers n ot to screen
prospective can didates. H e w anted love o f G o d given out indis
crim inately. A lth o u gh karmis and jhanis norm ally h ave no hope
o f co n tactin g bhakti, the pure d evotee sheds the light o f K rsn a’s
mercy in all dark places ju st as the m oonshine does n ot dis
crim inate betw een the courtyard o f a poor m an and th at o f a
w ealthy m an. “ B ut these two brothers [Lord C a ita n y a and Lord
N ity an an d a] dissipate the darkness o f the inner core o f the
heart, and thus T h ey help one m eet the two kinds o f bhagavatas
[persons or th in gs in relation sh ip with the Personality o f G o d
h ead].” (C c . Adi 1.98)
T h e d evotio n al service described in this verse is full o f co n

fidence. T h e person w ho practices it obviously has no reserva
tions abo u t w hether or n ot he should surrender to K rsna. H e
do e sn ’t d ou bt w hether or n ot K rsna is his w orshipable Deity.
S till, does such a d evotee ever question w hether his service is
pleasin g to the Lord? D oes he ever th ink he should be perform
ing an oth er kind o f service?
For the pure d evotee, doubts are a further im petus to in ten
sified rem em brance o f K rsna. T h a t’s why it is said th at a d e v o
tee exp erien cin g the bhava o f love o f G o d does n ot waste tim e.
S u ch a devotee w ants to be certain he is doing the best service.
In th at flow o f positive, spon tan eous service, however, a d e v o
tee n ever doubts K rsna’s reciprocation . N eith er does he experi
ence restlessness or boredom , but sim ply enthusiasm . W e can
only pray to overcom e all reluctance and corruption and be
allow ed to enter the m ysterious, happy region o f loving d e v o
tion al service in this world an d the next.
W hew ! I finally m ade it here despite the detours and my co r

ruptions. A n d my old age. I’m here to rum ble along som e more.
I used to w ipe off the picnic table in the courtyard at 26
S eco n d A ven ue. H e d id n ’t even ask m e to do it, but a G od-
brother did.
I was happy to do it though.
W h at is pure devotion al service? Is my h olding this red pen

pure d evotion ?
N o , silly, you h ave to be a pure d evotee holdin g the red pen.
W h at if a H are K rsna kid plays R am a

an d N rsim h a an d later hates
I S K C O N cult and opts
for sex an d drugs?
D oes he get to go back to G o d h ead ?
W here are the poem s o f mercy?
I asked M adh u w hat w ould h appen if the water pum p in our
new van broke w hile we were driving in rural C zech R epublic. I
liked his answer. H e said, “O h , th at h appen ed to me on ce in
En glan d before I becam e a devotee. I ordered a part and then
ch ecked into a h otel until the part cam e.”
I told h im th at I could write a poem , “ S o n g W hile W aiting
for a P art.” G e t ready for it. If I prepare in advan ce for all
calam ities and assum e the crash position , it seem s to help.
Ladies, please take o ff your h igh heels as they m ay rip the

escape slide (d isaster!). G e t out fast, top off your life jack et by
blow ing air through the tube, th en blow the w histle attach ed to
attract h elp as you go dow n, down,
dow n—
n o sw eet rice now —
an d on e last “ H are K rsn a.”
N ow do you see w hat

im provisation is?
T h e pills taste like ch alk—
th e m iracle o f drug tech.
T h e Lord w ith the wheel in H is hand. W hy is H e carrying

th at w heel? O Bhism adeva,
K rsna carried a wheel for you, who
rendered H im pure devotio n al service.
M en tal speculators in a cave— how to rescue them ? G e t

yourself ou t first. B ecom e a light an d th en d on ’t keep th at light
under the bushel, C h rist said.
T h o se who render service unto the lotus feet o f K rsna get to

know the creator o f the universe in H is full glory. W hat if you
w ant to know the Lord n ot in H is full glory with the w heel in
H is h an d but as H e holds a flute in V raja?
W ell, th a t’s a secret. Anyway, the process is the sam e: ch an t
and h ear an d light up your soul w ith K rsn a’s kindness.
S ats, you m ake a sad, sweet tune h idin g tim id at H aryasva’s

in his ow n Bro apartm en t on S o u th Street, a room reserved for
you, flow ers on the desk.
A P00T Man Rea& The Bhagavatam
How about this title:

“A Pen Flows in Brooklyn” ?
“ Poetry is crap ” said M ailer.
W h a t’s his beef?
Life is writ. Birds twit at
daw n.
K rsna carries wheel.

K now H im if you are pure. If you are
not, love hom ogenized
sweet rice— prasadam.
S tay w ith guru and serve him .
R ead Snmad-Bhagavatam.
T h e problem is th at we can ’t enter the Bhagavatam unless we

are pure, an d th at the only way to becom e pure is to enter the
Bhagavatam . W ell, we also becom e pure by h earing and serving
am on g devotees. W e are n ot devotion al giants, th at’s for sure.
W h atever gian ts we h ave seen in this life all fell dow n, like
Ja c k ’s gian t in “Ja ck and the B ean stalk.” C rash ! T h ey all cam e
tum bling dow n w ith their follow ers an d empires.
T h e dream I h ad this m orning d id n ’t really im pel my Krsna

con sciousn ess. W e lived in a big house an d were doing som e
th in g or other, bu t I felt a paucity o f spirit. O K rsna w ho carries
the w heel, O R ad h a and K rsna, please accep t m e, a w ooden
chanter.
G ra n d C a n y o n Suite
A v an cross-country.
En ter an IS K C O N tem ple, go
through all form alities— sit an d lecture
on Bhagavatam and h it the essence, but are
you on em pty?
You say about Bhagavatam
th at we should all read.
W e h ave heard th at before!
B ut K rsna grabbed the wheel.
K rsna loved H is devotee. W h at about that?!
K rsna, K rsna, K rsna, the children
draw from in n ocen t hearts and
S rila Prabhupada lectures best. Surrender
there. Surrender, you errant fellow.
I listen ed to a taped w orkshop o f G ab rielle R ico teach in g

clustering exercises. S h e asked h er group to cluster on the
phrase “ I rem em ber,” an d she rem inded them th at after cluster
ing w ith th e right brain, they should use the left brain to write
som eth in g. T h is is how my exercise cam e out:
I rem em ber clustering in days o f old, Faery Queene, doctor
bald tau gh t Ed S p en ser’s poem from lectern. I w anted to be a
poet even th en in crowded Jew ish halls o f Brooklyn C o llege. I
did okay.
I rem em ber you, dear G re e n le af W hittier, an d Sw am i, and
m e in back room kitch en Bom bay ’74 freaking out. D o n ’t
intrude on my m em ories— they h ave n o cu m ulative point. Each
day I rem em ber to give m yself perm ission to write open prose. I
h ave to give perm ission because to im provise m eans to lose your
way. I rem em ber fire engines, firehouses, hoses— you could go
on forever rem em bering because m em ory com es from Krsna. I
hope I rem em ber at last to preach and at death to ch an t the
holy nam e.
F ebruary 2 3 , 1996
T h ere are so m any books in this world. W e need alm ost none
o f them . C e lin e keeps popping up for me, but I know if I look at
h im , I will h ave no real in clin ation to turn to him and invest
my h eart. B etter to invest my h eart in the sensitive act o f p en
etratin g my ow n barriers to reach my master. H is accen t, his
h eavin ess, the fact th at he repeats the sam e basic philosophy,
the hype surrounding him , I S K C O N ’s enem ies, my fading m em
ories, the fact th at ph otos o f him or even his voice d oesn ’t carry
the w eight o f the full S rila Prabhupada, w hom I remember. T h e
m ind, th e finding o f fault, the p lain fact th at I’m already h alf
dead an d still struggling— all o f th at m akes it harder to approach
him . But w hat can I do but type this an d speak from the heart
at the b o ttom o f the barrel? I am a barrel caster, a new scaster, a
shy, ornery h orn et o f a m an grown old.
Let my w hole life be dedicated to the Bhagavatam , even

th ough I am poor. A n d let my writing follow. For now, the life
o f a Bhagavatam reader is still a little theoretical, but m aybe it
could becom e true. A n d ju st think, anyth in g th at I do th at is
n o t directly Bhagavatam , and my errant thoughts, my new tak
ing o f allo p ath ic m edicine— ju st think. A ll this is n ot really the
poin t. R eal redem ption com es w hen I turn to the Bhagavatam
verse an d purport an d read it. T h a t’s the one in front o f the
zeros. I hope the Bhagavatam's influence will spread throughout
my life. Like w hen I was a kid. W e used to get this m argarine-
type substance. I d ou bt they sell it like this anym ore. Anyway,
you bought th is lum p o f fat. It cam e w ith a package o f som e kind
o f co n cen trate and you w ould kn ead the two together by hand.
A s you kneaded, the color and flavor w ould spread throughout
the fat, turning it yellow. M aybe the Bhagavatam verse and pur
port can be like th at in my life. It’s the bright colored essence,
the essen tial stuff, and as I knead my life, as I write and draw and
live, the “color” o f the Bhagavatam can spread throughout.
Text 39
atheha dhanya bhagavanta ittham
yad vasudeve ’khila'loka-ndthe
kurvanti sarvatmakam atma'bhdvam
na yatra bhuyah parivarta ugrah
Only by making such inquiries in this world can one be suc

cessful and perfectly cognizant, for such inquiries invoke
transcendental ecstatic love unto the Personality of G od
head, who is the proprietor of all the universes, and guaran
tee cent-percent immunity from the dreadful repetition of
birth and death.
Comment
S u ta G osvam I praises the sages’ inquires. T h is is one o f those
inspiring verses to give us strength to hear krsna-kathd. I like to
quote such verses to devotees to rem ind us all to read and chant.
T h e K rsna con sciousn ess m ovem ent is active in response to
Srila Prabh upada’s order th at we preach, but he probably gave
even more instruction on hearing. H e w anted both. H e said of
him self, “ B ecause I was good at sravanam , therefore I am good
at kirtanam.”
S u ta praises the sages because their questions were transcen
dental. T hey didn’t ask, “W here is the bathroom ?” Everybody asks
m undane questions, but only a devotee can ask the kind o f ques
tions that free him from the dreadful repetition o f birth and death.
A d ev o tee’s question s are about the Personality o f G o dh ead.

K rsna is unknow able excep t to the e xten t th at H e reveals
H im self, but K rsna does n ot reveal H im self to the nondevotees.
H e reveals H im self to those who w ant to know H im out o f d evo
tion. O therw ise, H e is a mystery. Because they fail to w orship
H is lotus feet, even the perfected Brahm avadis fall back dow n
into the m aterial world. T h ey d on ’t know where else to go.
T h e pure d evotee is guaranteed liberation. W h at more assur
an ce do we w ant? W ell, usually we w ant to know if it’s possible
to b ecom e on e hundred percen t liberated with only fifty percent
in vestm en t on our parts. But we can n o t ch eat Krsna. Or, we can
engage in ch eatin g, but we will n ot attain genuine realization
an d success. T herefore, we h ave to inquire into the m ean in g o f
life, into the m ean in g o f the Suprem e Lord, and we h ave to
m ake those inquiries in the associatio n o f devotees.
A ll right, th en w hat about this? T h is verse assures us th at a
devotee is im m une to repeated birth and death, but it d oesn ’t
assure us th at a d evotee is im m une from suffering. Prahlada
M ah araja was tortured, N arad a M uni lost his m other w hen he
was only five years old, Q ueen K un ti suffered on beh alf o f her
sons, V asudeva and D evaki lost all their children and spent
years in prison, and even Prabhupada appeared to experien ce
tribulation. W h at about that?
I rem em ber a disciple askin g Prabhupada this question on a
m orn in g walk. Prabhupada said th at at least a devotee knows
th at w hen he is suffering, he is suffering for the last tim e. His
suffering is n ot useless, but it is purifying him so th at he can go
back to G o d h ead . A t least we can take th at m uch solace w hen
we are suffering.
Beyond th at, however, we shouldn ’t approach devotion al ser
vice as a m ean s to relieve or elim inate suffering. Bhakti is n ot a
painkiller. If we ap proach devotional service in th at way, we are
lookin g for salvation — a m aterial desire— an d n ot pure d e v o
tion. I rem em ber one Indian m an who com plain ed to me th at
his wife was th reaten ing to divorce him . T h e n he jo in ed the
tem ple, atten d ed it regularly, and his wife divorced him anyway.
H e becam e d isappoin ted in B h agavan . W e sh ouldn ’t be like that.
K rsna con sciousn ess is n ot to be approach ed as an an tidote to suf
fering, alth ough ultim ately, it relieves the greatest pain.
O n ce a d evotee approach ed Prabhupada in tears and asked,
“ W hy does K rsna m ake us suffer?” R ath er th an respond gently,
Prabh upada becam e stern. “You should n ot com e to K rsna to
reduce your suffering. C o m e to K rsna to surrender and to serve.”
T h is will be our last time suffering in this place of suffering.
W hen we go back to G odh ead there will be no more misery. Rather,
we will enjoy eternal, transcendental pleasure serving Krsna.
A s for those great devotees who suffered, they w eren’t suffer
ing in an ordinary way. T h ey were always in co n tact w ith Krsna
and rem ained in internal bliss.
W e should be grateful to the sadhus from w hom we can inquire
con fiden tially and with trust about K rsna. T h ese inquiries are the
only way in w hich we can invoke love o f G o d h ead . T herefore,
th e a sso c ia tio n o f learn ed V a isn av as is the g rea te st gift.
Prabhupada said we sh ouldn ’t dare to th ink we are V aisnavas, but
th at we are the servan ts o f the V aisnavas. T h e servan t inquires,
“H ow m ay I serve K rsna?”
W h at is a cen t percen t devotee? It m eans som eone who has
attain ed perfection. S om etim es a studen t excels on a test and
receives a perfect score. T h ere is a sim ilar rank in spiritual life. A
pure d evotee m akes n o m istakes, and the teach er blesses the stu
d en t w ith recogn ition o f his ach ievem en t. In d evotion al terms, it
m eans n o karm a or jnana. R eady to go back to G o dh ead.
T h e expert spiritual m aster stim ulates us to ask questions. In
the beginning, out o f ignorance, our questions m ay not be focused
on the A bsolute Truth. We m ay w ant to know w hat we will get
ou t o f serving Krsna. W ill we be free o f pain ? How does the un i
verse function, anyway? If the questions are directed toward
Krsna, the guru will lead us forward into the heart o f bhakti.
A cco rd in g to this verse, it’s n ot good to be silent. A lth o u gh in
oth er places the silen t worker is praised, now here does the sastra
praise dullness. To m ake inquiry m eans we h ave to be at least

curious. Gradually, curiosity develops into eagerness to hear.
E agern ess to hear is as good as voicin g a question. W h at we are
m ean t to give is our undivided atten tion . T h e m aterial world is
n o t con ducive for m ental focus, but yoga m eans to practice co n
trol o f the m ind an d senses.
T h e begin n in g o f askin g questions m ay be recognizing and
nurturing th at side o f us th at is serious and devotional. O ften ,
devotees tend to disregard th at side in their attem pts to practice
hum ility. W e d o n ’t h ave to m ock ourselves. B etter to go forward
on our m ost sincere foot and ask questions regardless o f th at
oth er vo ice th at tells us we are bein g holy Jo es or th at our sin
cerity isn’t real. T h ere is no point in starving ourselves spiritu
ally in the nam e o f humility. T h e n we will also be in a better
p osition to seek answ ers to our daily dilem m as in our sadhana.
W alking in “T h e W oods” in Stroudsburg. I had a h eadach e

at m idn igh t and co u ld n ’t write here. To write this book properly,
I really h ave to stretch out my tim e. Ideally, I first read w herever
I am reading in the Bhagavatam for about h alf an hour. T h e n I
turn to where we are in the Bhagavatam in this book. By the
tim e I go through the w hole process o f reading and writing on
the verse an d purport and do som e free-writing, I’ve been going
for about two hours. T h e n I draw. In Bom bay I shortened the
w hole process to an hour because I skipped my personal reading,
but I prefer the w hole program .
W hy d o I dare to use language in such a wild way? W hy not
be m ore like a storyteller? Som etim es it’s because I’m trying to
co ver my trail. T h e straightforw ard story d oesn ’t em ploy so
m any fireworks and it m akes sense, but it’s n ot daring. It d oesn ’t
take risks in expression. A n d you h ave to be daring in life, espe
cially in art.
O n e th in g I’face in writing is w hat I call my W estern palate.
I prefer W estern expression o f K rsna consciousness to In-
dianized rhetoric. But th ere’s always danger there because there
is n o precedent in the W est (or East) o f such expression o f Krsna

consciousness. Therefore my anchor, the rock to w hich I am tied,
is the Bhagavatam. T h a t is my great saving grace. I can ’t be artifi
cial about w hat I am . A t the sam e time, I w ant to learn to live the
life o f a Bhagavatam reader, W estern expression and all.
W h atever expression we h ave in the W estern world is a per
verted reflection o f love o f G o d . N o t the real thing. A t the sam e
tim e, it d oesn ’t take m uch to ch an ge the words, say, o f a love
song, an d to h ear the sound o f gopis crying out to K rsna or any
pure d evotee in his or her relation sh ip with Krsna. If we use the
expression, we can still feel tenderness. T enderness in m aterial
life is an illusion, but w hen we take it an d express the h an k er
ing o f the soul, it is som eth in g tangible.
M adhu and his assistant, Yam una-jlvana dasa, have the van
jacked up on blocks. M adhu says progress is slow, but I know h e’s
got it all scoped out. H e’ll do as m uch as he can this week, then
either do more personally later or arrange to get it done. H e’s smart
about these things. Otherwise, how could he could have dared to
undertake such an am bitious program as to buy a van in A m erica
while he was in Europe, and plan to outfit and then export it to
Ireland? H e has plans how to avoid the import taxes too.
A s I write these words, it’s starting to rain and m oisten my
eyeglasses, so I’ll start back to the com fortable house and the cat
and m ouse gam e w ith the tw inge beh in d my eye. W h at I’d really
like to do is work out on the IBM S electric, th at beautiful w rit
ing m achin e, but I d o n ’t th ink I h ave the strength.
D rea m
L ast n igh t I put this request to my dream self: “ Please direct
m e in successful free-w riting after the com m en t I m ake on the
Bhagavatam verse. Tell me how to do it properly. Please reveal to
m e this inform ation in its full p o ten tial.”
H ere’s how my dream self responded:
I dream t o f a large dorm itory filled w ith bunks, m ilitary style,

but in h abited by devotees. It was tim e to sleep, but I had a dar
ing assign m en t: I was to go out, but I d id n ’t tell the others about
it. A t first I h ad a gamcha w rapped around my shoulders, but I
w as cold, so I returned to the dorm itory to get a jack et. S om e
affection ate disciples were w aiting for me. T h ey w anted m e to
stay h om e an d sleep. I felt drowsy, but I was determ ined to go
ou t o n th is adventure despite the voices encouraging m e to stay.
ire fs u iq c m K
H
T h a t was it. My disciples w anted to lull m e to sleep. T h ey said
I needed more rest because I am w eak and prone to headaches.
But w hat was the daring assignm ent?
To fleece sheep in S p ain
to release foxes in England
to gain citizenship in Ireland and then write forty books on a
good typewriter.
W e p icnicked on the grass in A ssisi w hile an old couple
dan ced to an accord ion in th at sweet, stately, European way.
I was to go ou t at night! But to do what?
I d o n ’t know, but I do take this dream as an inner m essage in
answ er to my question on how I can write better. Is the m essage
th at I should go alone? A n d dress warm. Push out into the
unknow n “ n igh t” even if it’s dark. Dare to ch allen ge w h at’s
out there.
O kay, B aladeva, I did my dream work. If you com e an d see
my bunk empty, you’ll know where I am — gone on a daring w rit
ing assign m en t, protected by K rsna. Pal, we will m ake it
through. W ill you com e w ith m e into the nigh t? I know you
would. You are true blue.
O n ly on e w ho asks about K rsna can be liberated.

But I w ant to be myself.
Yourself? W ho?
Is this the diary o f fool an d m adm an? O n ly K rsna can judge.
M y friends, h ave you ever felt little tw inges o f desire— n ot for
bad things, m ore like for seeing a brain child grow an d flourish?
W ell, w hen you h ave w illing disciples w ho will get you w h at
ever you w ant, support you in w hatever you say, or do w hatever
you tell them , you h ave to be careful n ot to be w him sical, but
alw ays stay fixed in K rsna consciousness.
W h im sical, th at bad word again. W him leads to woe, som e
on e said. M y brain child has to do w ith im provisation.
W h en a soloist is im provising, he som etim es plays w ith the
m elody and som etim es leaves the m elody behind. I find th at rel
evan t to my w riting and to my practice o f K rsna consciousness.
In w riting and in life, I should try to deliberately “play” the spe
cific co n cep ts o f the Bhagavatam purports. A t the sam e tim e, I
w ant to break free from the stiff walls th at repeated expression
som etim es creates and n ot define so m uch ahead o f tim e w hat
to play. I can look back at a page an d see the them e em erging
from the Bhagavatam verse, sure and solid, th en roam out and
return, roam ou t and return. I h ave to express my K rsna co n
sciousness as w ho I am , then fall at K rsn a’s feet, me fall at K rsn a’s
feet. I know I’m n oth in g w ithout H is mercy, but I w ant to also
know w hat I am by H is mercy. I know I h ave H is mercy, because
Prabh upada gave it to me. I’m living on it still.
S h e — som eon e in D ublin— wrote me th at h eadach es com e

w hen you repress anger. H a! I’ll get angry an d get rid o f h ead
ach es! “ Be love, express love,” she said. You know w hat? T h is
world is all m ore or less crazy.
D id you read the epitaph to this volum e? I ju st heard Srila

Prabh upada speak it yesterday:
Lord Siva recommends that, “O f all methods of worship, Visnu

worship is the best, and better than Visnu worship is to worship
His devotee or things in relation with Him.” Tadiyanam, that is
bhagavata. Here it is also said, tadiyanam, bhagavata-sevayd. This
book bhagavata, spoken by the deVotee bhagavata— this should
be taken very seriously daily. Otherwise . . . we do not under
stand what is Bhagavan. Therefore it is recommended here:
nityam, daily, or constantly, twenty-four hours. We have to mold
our life in such a way that twenty-four hours, not a single
moment leaving aside, we should be engaged in bhagavata-
sevaya, in the service of Lord’s relations. The Srimad-
Bhagavatam, Bhagavad-gita, the spiritual master, Tulasi-devi, the
temple, the preaching, the books— these are all bhagavata. So
nityam bhagavata-sevaya. Nasta-prayesu. If we engage ourselves
in this bhagavata-sevayd .. . Just like we are doing daily, trying to
read one verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam, discussing amongst our
selves. This is bhagavata-sevayd. Nityam, daily, regularly.
— Lecture on Bhag. 1.2.18, Los Angeles 8/21/72
Tadiyanam — everything should be con nected, even m em o

ries o f M on k an d B artok and breakfast cereals. W hen the
A m erican im m igration m an says, “ W elcom e h o m ei” I h ave to
co n n e ct th at to K rsn a’s service. A t least it has to inspire rem em
brance o f H is lotus feet. T h a t long train in India th at I saw dur
ing th at tedious car ride from K hargone to Bom bay— co n n ect it.
T h e fresh , forty-degree air ou tsid e JF K , th e sm ells (all
A m eric an ), the parking lot where I slowed my steps and my
breath in g in order to savor the coolness and the drizzle. O air o f
A m erica, am I hom e?
O soul o f me, if I d o belong
to G o lo k a th en enligh ten me.
I’m n ot A m erican or m an
or sain t or bug
or worm or indigestion.
Krsiia Is the Source of AU Incarnations 83
E n ligh ten me
an d
tell m e where to go.
T h is im age ju st cam e to m ind in term s o f w riting this book:

R em em ber tag-team w restling m atches? T h ey show ed them reg
ularly on T V in the 1950s. T h e w restler h ad a partner w aiting
ou tside the ring. W hen the w restler felt he was in trouble, he
could reach out an d tag his partner. T h e n his partner w ould leap
into the ring an d the w restler w ould leap out and the fight
w ould begin again . I wrestle with my m ind an d playfulness and
“ch ao s” as R ico calls it, but w hen I’m flatten ed o n the m at, I
stretch ou t my bony arm as far as I can and tag the n ex t
Bhagavatam verse. T h e n the Bhagavatam springs into the ring
an d van quish es my oppon en t.
W h ile stan d in g on the road in “T h e W oods,” I suddenly

heard voices, but I could n ’t m ake out where they were com in g
from . T h ere was no one else there. W as it a radio? I listened
m ore carefully and realized th at they w eren’t h um an voices at
all. U p above m e, wild geese were form ing a V an d hon kin g. Is
it already spring? Yes, w inter is on the way out.
Text 40
idam bhagavatam nama

puranam brahma'Sammitam
uttama-sloka'Caritam
cakara bhagavan rsih
nihsreyasaya lokasya
dhanyam svasty-ayanam mahat
T his Srimad-Bhagavatam is the literary incarnation of God,

and it is compiled by Srila Vyasadeva, the incarnation of God.
It is meant for the ultimate good of all people, and it is all-suc

cessful, all-blissful and all-perfect.
Comment
T h e verse begins with the S an skrit idam bhagavatam nam a,
puranam brahma-sammitam, w hich Prabhupada translates as,
“T h is book co n tain in g the n arration o f the Personality o f
G o d h ea d an d H is pure d evotees.” T h e phrase “literary in carn a
tio n ” is Prabh upada’s expression. W e h ave heard such phrases as
“ th e im portan ce o f literature,” “ inspired authors,” “genius w rit
ers,” “d ivin e bo ok s,” but w ho h as ever called a book a literary
in carn atio n o f G o d ? It captures my im agin ation. I im agine
M atsya an d K urm a, the fish and tortoise in carn ation s, R am a-
can dra, the great king, Buddha, or V am an adeva stretch in g H is
foot high, an d th en a book above all books, a literary in carn a
tion. A n d a book authored by B h agav an V yasadeva H im self.
L o rd C a ita n y a ca lle d th e Bh agavata P uran a ( Srim ad-
Bhagavatam ) th e A m ala Purana, or the spotless Purana. It’s a
good phrase to rem em ber: A m ala Purana. S om etim es devotees
w onder why the Bhagavatam is called spotless w hen it appears to
discourse o n m any subjects oth er th an pure devotion al service.
T h e truth is th at it d oesn ’t. Everything in the Bhagavatam d is
cusses or describes pure devotional service, and th at is why Lord
C a ita n y a recom m ended th at we study it.
T h a t the Bhagavatam is the literary in carn ation o f K rsna is
proven by Lord C a ita n y a ’s statem ents. Lord C aitan y a is Krsna,
the source o f all in carn ation s. H is accep tan ce o f the Bhagavatam
as A m ala Purana therefore m ust be ac^ 'pted as conclusive e v i
dence. W h en Lord C a ita n y a was praised as B h agavan , H e said,
“W h y are you p raisin g m e? You sh ould p raise S rim ad '
Bhagavatam .” Lord C aitan y a then w ent on to glorify the Bhdg-
avatam an d say th at it should never be thought o f as ju st an oth er
book o f ph ilosop h ical questions an d answers. W e can find Lord
C a ita n y a ’s praises o f the Bhagavatam throughout the C aitanya-
caritam rta, especially in the discussions betw een the Lord and
Sarv ab h au m a B h attacarya, P rakasan an da S arasv ati, an d R upa
and S a n a ta n a G osvam is.
A lso , m any great V aisn ava acaryas h ave com m en ted on the
Srim ad-Bhagavatam . Jlv a G o sv am i proves in his Tattva San -
darbha th at o f all the Vedas an d Puranas, the Srimad-Bhagavatam
is the scripture par excellen ce. T h o se w ho th ink th at it’s sim ply
a book w ritten by an ordinary person h ave n ot studied it deeply.
S rila Prabhupada sum m arizes the Bhagavatam as “selected
h istories o f great devotees w ho are in direct co n tact w ith the
Personality o f G o d h e a d .” T h u s in the Bhagavatam , we’ll read
about d evotees an d how they ach ieved K rsn a’s darsana. W e’ll
also h ear o f their prayers, their m ethods o f w orship, how they
were saved by K rsna, an d the details o f their affection ate rela
tion ships w ith the Lord.
W h atever we w ould exp ect to gain by associatin g w ith K rsna
directly ca n be ach ieved in the pages o f the Bhagavatam. Srimad-
Bhagavatam should be w orshiped as Krsna. By p atien t study o f
the book, we will receive the blessings o f the Suprem e Lord.
B ecause o f the B hagavatam ’s nature, however, we m ust read it
under guidan ce, or as Prabhupada writes, “ through the m edium
o f th e transparent spiritual m aster.” Som etim es scholars and
poets w ould go to see Lord C a itan y a and present their w ritings
based on the Bhagavatam. W h en Svaru p a D am odara heard the
discrepan cies in their presen tation , however, he would recom
m end th at they study under som eone more realized in the Bhag-
avatam . T h ere is no oth er way to understand B h agavan th an
through the m edium o f the person bhagavata. By subm itting our
selves at the feet o f the devotees, we com e to understand K rsn a’s
nature an d the nature o f bhakti, an d th en we are truly blessed.
D evo tees som etim es w onder w hether or n ot they should per
form piija to the book. Sik h s do th at in th eir w orship o f
G ran th a. S om etim es V aisn avas offer flowers and perform a
sm all ritual to the book before speaking from it, but the real
w orship is in th e subm issive hearing.
P rabhupada aw akens us w hen he m entions th at the devotees

w ithin the Bhagavatam are persons in direct co n tact w ith Krsna;
they are n ot ordinary d evotees. By reading, we learn to aspire to
becom e on e o f them . B ut th at will h appen only w hen we learn
th a t there is n oth in g in this world as desirous as K rsna’s associ
ation . A n d how d o we learn that? By associatin g w ith the
Bhagavatam in the com pany o f realized devotees. That is the
m ean in g o f th e purport’s statem en t th at we can derive every
th in g from th is book th at we could derive from the Lord’s per
son al presence. T h a t’s an op en secret, an d those w ho study it
regularly very soon discover it.
W h en we finally realize th at the persons w ho appear in the
pages o f th e Bhagavatam are prema-bhaktas, we should n ot th en
distan ce ourselves from them , as if we are so far below them that
w h at they h av e ach ieved is u n attain ab le. S u ch devotees are our
friends, an d they display w hat appear to be faults, or heroic or
hum ble qualities ju st to attract us to their shelter. Ju st th ink o f
the bravery o f the boy Prahlada M ah araja. O r D hruva M ah a
ra ja ’s d eterm in ation . C a n we see their qualities an d allow their
words an d deeds to reflect a little in our ow n sm all lives? H ow
else will we learn these virtues?
A n d o f course, there are lessons to be learned from their
experien ces. D h ruva M ah araja cu ltivated m aterial desires even
w hile serving the Lord an d he reaped the result. In his purports
to th at section , Prabhupada w arns us n ot to wish for som ething
m aterial in our relation sh ip w ith Krsna. O therw ise, like D hruva,
we will be left in the m aterial world to receive the b oon for
w hich we begged. T o learn the lessons an d gain the devotion
takes hum ility. W e should never see ourselves as greater th an a
personality like D hruva, but understand th at D hruva is sharing
the benefits o f his ow n experien ce w ith vis in his pastim es with
K rsna. Sim ilarly, we learn from Srila V yasadeva th at if we d o n ’t
glorify K rsna directly, we will be desponden t and feel in com
plete in our service.
Prabh upada recom m ends careful an d p atien t study so th at we

can gain the lessons and becom e devotees. W e’re n ot used to
patien t reading in this world; life is too busy an d often seem s
irrelevant to Bhagavatam study. But w hat option do we h ave? If
we w ant to get ou t o f this m aterial world, and if we w ant to love
K rsna, we h ave to hear and ch an t, hear and ch ant. N o th in g else
has any m eaning. Prabhupada assures us that if we study the
lessons in the Bhagavatam from the bon a fide spiritual master,
we will “ receive the desired result.”
T h e “desired result” will be som ew hat different for each d e
votee. E ach o f us desires a unique relation sh ip w ith Krsna; we
each express our love for K rsna w ithin one o f the five ra sa s, but
still individually. Snm ad'Bhagavatam is cintamani and it awards
the d evotees on all levels their desires. U ltim ately, however, the
com m on d en o m in ator for every sincere devotee is freedom from
m aterial life, love o f G o d , and being fixed in eternal devotional
service. T h e Bhagavatam is also a w ish-fulfilling cow. T h e Lord
in vites each d evotee to com e forward and m ilk their spiritual
desires from it. W e all w ant to serve K rsna according to our
desire an d proclivity— how we perceive H e will be pleased
accordin g to w hat we h ave learned from guru, sastra, and sadhu.
K rsna awards us th at ability if we are sincere, and H e gives us
the facility to im prove our service at every step.
I ju st read w hat I wrote for 1.3.40 and I feel satisfied. W h at

should I write now, som eth in g clow nish? A devotee skit? I d o n ’t
w ant to be like my zany U n cle M ickey, who was called upon at
fam ily gath erin gs to be outrageous. Som etim es he would strip
dow n to a tow el (h e was fat) and do a hula dance on the table.
O th er tim es he w ould stan d on a chair, his hair com bed forward
like H itler, and im itate the Fuhrer’s speech. C o m e on, S ats, do
an act. M ake us laugh off our dinner.
N o , I’m n ot a clow n for hire.
W ell, instead I’ll tell you about my little life. Today we have
to sort out our belongings and decide w hat we will carry to
S aran ag ati. W e travel tomorrow. I would like to take my colored
pencils, but we h ave so little room in rhe luggage. G la ss votive
can dle holders? D o I really w ant to lug them all the way there?
A m on th ’s supply o f earplugs? Yes. T ooth paste, o f course. How
m uch can M adhu and I bear on our skinny backs?
So m eo n e ju st presented us with new carry-on luggage— with
w heels. T h a t should ease the burden som ew hat, but often the
airlines stop us from carrying them on. We depend so m uch for
our com fort on how the world functions. We trust the gov ern
m en t to keep the thieves and oth er cheaters enough at bay so
th at we can travel from here to there w ithout incidents o f that
sort, an d we trust th at the border guards are sufficiently cultured
to allow two H are K rsnas to enter wearing “skirts.” W e’ll have
our papers in order, d on ’t worry.
O Lord o f the universe, I

h ope to survive, but I know it’s not
possible my bones
are so breakable.
Like a cricket I chirp,
“ R ead Bhagavatam , read
B h a g a v a t a m a sum m er cricket
in M arch.
D o you know w hat I learned at the health clinic? I learned

th at the stom ach sh ouldn ’t be a dum ping place. W e are not
obliged to eat more than necessary just because som eone cooked
it for us. T h e stom ach is the body’s m ost precious asset. If you
abuse it, you will spend tim e and pain trying to repair it.
Krsna Is the Source of AH Incarnations 89
But still I woke w ith indigestion.

T h e neck, the head, buttressed
with pills an d sw eater and
guided by supports elastic and
ch em ical, and m agnified eye
glasses and pushing along
lookin g for truth. A false show?
T ouch Bhagavatam and be
redeem ed.
In a dream I was supposed to be sleeping but was up talking

with M adhu. Suddenly we saw the door knob turn and B aladeva
entered, carrying folders. I thought, “ Better to stay with the
lights out. T h e n no one would com e in .”
You know, dear reader, w hat th at’s like— the blessed privacy
o f bein g alone in the dark. It was the only sacred m om ent I
experien ced in my N av y days, th at m om ent w hen they said,
“L igh ts ou r" and we could draw our curtains around our bunks
and finally be alone. T h e n I could close my eyes an d allow the
sh ock o f my day to settle in my body and m ind, and to recoil
from w hat I had to endure. A few m om ents o f peace. W ithout
peace, we becom e a bundle o f raw nerves.
T h e phrase “ literary in carn ation ” sounds tired w hen uttered

by on e w ho d o e sn ’t love Krsna. Lord C aitan y a spoke words o f
p ain w hen H e said th at H e did n ’t love Krsna. O therw ise, how
could H e m ain tain H is fly-like existence? Pure love o f K rsna is
like fragrant gold; it d oesn ’t exist in this world. If we could e x p e
rience it, we would die o f separation, n ot live and m ove and
take airplan es and tend to physical needs as if they m attered—
all p ro o f th at we d o n ’t love G o d . We should be so bereft we die.
Lord C a itan y a said th at H is love was only a show. A fter that,
w hat can we say?
C lim b the w alls with your little fingers, then m ove along in
your lim ited tim e. T h is is my last day here. T h e n the narrative
will be broken w hile we travel thousands o f m iles across the
C a n a d ia n border. W e’ll go to V ancouver first, but our goal is to
get to Saran agati.
I read the phrase, “poverty stricken .” Lord C aitan y a said H e
was poverty stricken, and I definitely say th at about myself. T h e
Bhagavatam is rich, but I am poor. I told one disciple n ot to be
so attach ed to h earing about the gopis: “A re you sure you are
qualified to read Ujjvala'nilam ani?” H e says he ca n ’t repress it.
H e reads with others w ho share his interests. I told him th at if
he was reading Prabh upada’s books, he w ould find everything in
the correct m easure, but his friends w orship R adh a-K rsn a
D eities an d m editate on direct service. W hat do I know, m e who
dream s o f false teeth? S till, I will read my m aster’s books. I am
livin g in a broken-dow n container, but I keep going, seeking
open spaces in w hich to write and learn to serve K rsna with my
w hole heart.
D ear Diary, I’m at Sam lk a R si’s on this last day, writing this
testim ony an d thinking o f how Prabhupada pronounced “liter
ary in carn atio n .” It’s a tired phrase and hard to say w hen you
h ave no teeth. People respect the sadhu and give him h onor and
privilege, but he does n ot possess love o f G o d , so he writes about
th at, advertisin g his poverty an d tellin g people th at if you say

“ literary in carn atio n ” too m any tim es w ithout realization, it will
lose its m eaning.
I am a pilot on a nigh t flight. I hope we d o n ’t crash because
the cargo is precious. D evotees are practicing self-sufficiency in
various places, others distributing books, h olding R atha-yatras,
and preach ing in thousands o f ways. G o d is a person with hands
and feet, and if we could ju st be w ith H im , we w ould know the
perfection o f h appiness. W ithout H im , our lives are wasted.
T herefore, keep reading the Bhagavatam and com e as close as
you can in this life to K rsna’s lotus feet. D o n ’t ju st sit on the side
lines an d carp. C h a n t H are Krsna. H ear from pure devotees. We
are e ach pilotin g a plane, hom in g into the airport, w anting to
lan d safely. W e d o n ’t need the sen sation o f falling through space
to m ake the trip m ore exciting, ju st get dow n on the ground
safely, w ith all system s intact, honorably. You are the pilot, the
“ literary in carn atio n ” o f G o d is the cargo, the search for m ean
ing is the fuel, and your own poverty is the driving force.
N ow som e last words from hand. Sh eltered poet fears break

dow n an d loss o f tim e. K rsna gives us lim ited tim e. B etter spend
it well.
R ed cable-kn it sw eater— leave it behind.
N o galosh es allow ed in the suitcase.
M em ory o f public sch oolroom —
carry it at your ow n peril. Blue jays
o f ch ild h ood , poem s, pages—
you c a n ’t take it all w ith you,
L eave it behind.
M y h an d says th at Private Sm ith , E -3 status, is w aiting for

the end o f his h itch. A twenty-year-old sailor m et devotees at a
108 co n cert in N orfolk. N ow the N av y gives him his ow n room
in the barracks “for religious purposes” to keep h im separate. H e
yearns to get ou t and jo in the devotees. I hope he doesn ’t

becom e disappoin ted.
Peacocks, m essed up faces,
delicate lives, you’ll be interrupted but you w ant to
keep trying till the n ex t verse.
I salute you in your private tower.
T h e tim e is up.
You did a quota. N ow dictate
it. T h a t’s enough for today.
T h is is B alad ev a’s draw

ing. It cam e w ith this note:
“Srim ad 'B h agam tam and
S rila Prabh upada are the
booster rocket delivering
the soul to K rsna . . . as
long as he h an gs on and
d oesn ’t go to oth er planets.
D uring the trip, all kinds
o f coatin gs are burn t to
ashes or are flying off in lit
tle h o t pieces, but soon all
th at will be left is the pure
soul glow ing w ith bhakti.
H e ’s gettin g hotter. T h a t’s good. T h e stuff th at flies o ff (free-
w riting) is im portant. U p o n exam in ation , we can understand
th at th e flight is being em barked upon. A s more stuff com es off,
we can determ ine th at it’s cutting closer to the soul. T h e nuggets
th em selves are interesting . . . som e o f them are ju st burnt junk,
som e are glow ing on one side and burnt on the oth er and have
to be dusted o ff to be seen clearly, and som e are pure gold
nuggets from the deep layers close to the soul. Your D A S A team
is eager to co llect the evidence and track the m ission ’s progress.
Q uarterly reports will be m ade available to the public.”
Text 41
tad idarh grahayam asa

sutam atmavatarh varam
sarva-vedetihdsdnarh
sararh saram samuddhrtam
Sri Vyasadeva delivered it to his son, who is the most re

spected among the self-realized, after extracting the cream of
all Vedic literatures and histories of the universe.
Comment
T h is is an im portant purport for answ ering the doubts we
h ave heard in college classroom s or textbooks on H induism .
S rila Prabhupada counters the doubts deftly, briefly, and we are
satisfied. “ M en with a poor fund o f know ledge” date the begin
ning o f h um an history at about 6 0 0 B .C . T h ey say the Vedas
co u ld n ’t be as old as we m ake them out to be because people
were still N eo lith ic in those days. D o n ’t believe them .
“ B u t,” the voice o f doubt con tin u es, “such incredible things
are reported in the Puranas. W ho could believe them all?
D em igods w ith several heads? People who can fly? A life span o f
a hundred thousand years?”
It’s true th at we h ave n ot w itnessed such things, so how
w ould you respond? Prabhupada says th at the Puranas are h isto
ries, but they draw descriptions from different plan ets where
such extraordinary things are routine. T h a t m ight n ot satisfy too
m any people. A s a m atter o f fact, it m ay feed their doubts.
O th er plan ets? T h a t’s all right. T h is is Prabh upada’s reply. We
m ay adm it th at we d o n ’t understand it fully, th at we h ave no
experien ce o f w hat he says, but we put aside doubt because
Prabhupada h as said it. Is th at blind follow ing? N o t really. It’s a
recogn ition th at the fram ew ork from w hich we understand
things is pretty lim ited. W e are n ot a m ovem ent o f em piricists.
W e h ave to be prepared to accep t know ledge on authority. T h a t

sh ould n ’t be so hard, sin ce we h ave spen t our lives subm itting to
the authority o f the W estern scientists. A ctually, it w ould h ave
been better if we had never accepted those scientists so th at we
d id n ’t h ave to uproot ourselves from one authority to another.
B ut ultim ately, it’s better to be uprooted and newly replanted in
V edic cosm ology, even if it m eans being jerked out from w hat
we th ought we knew from our years o f studying in the sch ools o f
W estern Skepticism .
Prabhupada gives an oth er good argum ent, this tim e from a
m ore p sych ological or logical view point: “T h e great rsis like
V yasa h ad no business putting som e im aginary stories in their
literatures.” If the Vedas were the stuff o f fairy tales, why would
anyone give them atten tion ? A n d th at’s especially true o f som e
one like Vyasa. V yasa is n ot a cheater, nor a naive victim o f
som eon e else’s cheating.
O f course, in order to accep t th at argum ent, we h ave to again
trust our V edic authorities. W e are being asked to trust Vyasa-
d e v a ’s credibility. To do that, we h ave to go right back to the
one link in the disciplic ch ain who represents V yasa to us: Srila
Prabhupada. By exam in in g his ch aracter an d degree o f d e v o
tion, we can assum e th at his teach er was n ot a cheater, nor his
teacher, nor his all the way back to Vyasa. B etter to trust Vyasa-
deva th an Dr. Indologist. A n d it’s one or the other.
Prabhupada said th at the Srimad-Bhagavatam is n ot a ch ron o
logical or arch ival accoun t o f all kings and even ts in the u n i
verse, but selected histories from various planets and even
kalpas. T herefore, there m ay appear to be som e contradiction ,
for exam ple, in two different descriptions o f creation. M aterial
was selected by them e, n ot by som e oth er criteria. T h e Bhag-
avatam d eals specifically with the Suprem e Lord’s activities.
T h e se topics, along w ith topics o f the Lord’s dealings w ith H is
devotees, are considered m ost essential, m uch m ore im portant
th an inform ation about who invented the co tto n gin or w hen
the first steam ship sailed.
V yasa tau gh t the Srimad-Bhagavatam to his son, Sukadeva.

Srim ad'Bhdgavatam is the saram saram , cream o f the cream :
“ . . . Srim ad'Bhagavatam . . . con tain s all palatab le, instructive
and au th en tic versions o f different activities o f the Lord and
H is d evotees.”
If it is w ritten by devotees for devotees, then there is no value
to listen in g to it bein g recited by n on devotees. T h e y can never
en ter the realm o f bhakti, w hich is the exclusive realm o f the
Bhagavatam . M ilk is good, but w hen it has been touched by the
lips o f a serpent, it becom es poisonous.
M an y d e v o tee s in th e K rsn a co n scio u sn e ss m ov em en t
becom e influenced by the V edic param para later in life— th at is,
after they h ave received their prim ary and secondary education.
It can be a som ew hat abrupt ch an ge to go from a linear co n cep t
o f history to a cyclical understanding, to stretch the im agination
from on e h ead to four, from m ythology to truth, from e x isten
tialism to dtm d'tattva. G o d , a cow herd boy? A n d blue? How do
we m ake the adju stm en t? D evotees are finding th at it actually
takes years, n o m atter how readily they accep ted the new infor
m ation w hen they join ed the K rsna consciousness m ovem ent.
T o root all those m iscon ception s out o f the in tellect sim ply
takes years.
Inform ation is only part o f the adju stm en t we h ave to m ake.
S om etim es we accep t the in form ation intellectually but retain
deeper reservations. W e d o n ’t always understand the value-base
o f the V edic culture because we h ave no experien ce o f it.
T h erefore, w hen we need to apply values, we find ourselves
fallin g back on w hat we know. T h e n oth er doubts creep in. For
exam ple, why c a n ’t we perceive anything th at is being described
with our m aterial senses? W hen the astronauts orbit the earth or
fly in outer space, why d o n ’t they see anyth in g described? I re
m em ber w hen the first R ussian astronaut w ent in to space, he
m ade a jo k e how he d id n ’t see G o d “up th ere.” People took him
seriously, although how anyone could see G o d by flying a few
feet into outer space I d o n ’t know.
T h e W estern m ethods o f inform ation gathering will not yield

in fo rm ation abo u t w hat is described in the Bhagavatam.
O ccasionally devotees use evidence from disciplines such as
archeology or astronom y to make a point, but in general, we
accept the scripture on authority. Brahma-sabda is real truth. Both
subtle and spiritual sciences are beyond the purview o f the senses.
Brahma'Sabda has already assured us that our senses are faulty.
I was thoroughly steeped in W estern skepticism by the time
I m et S rila Prabhupada. W hat helped me m ake the adjustm ent
was Prabh upada’s ow n co n viction . He was steeped in Vais-
navism , in w hich all this inform ation is com m on knowledge.
But it w asn’t only that. Prabhupada was an ou tstan ding Vais-
n ava, and even before we knew m uch w hat a V aisn ava was, we
knew th at Prabhupada was great, a spiritual master. We trusted
w hat he said because it seem ed so obvious to us th at he was
receivin g direct revelation from Krsna. H e told us, “ It is such a
n ice th in g .” W e w anted it, w hatever he had.
P rabh upada’s first gift to his disciples was sraddha, and my re
ceiv in g o f th at gift is w hat I am describing here. W ithout srad-
dha, we can n o t hear subm issively. C uriosity is helpful, but it is
n ot enough to give us subm ission. Subm issive hearing leads to
the n ex t stage: sadhu-sanga.
S till, devotees may wonder w hether in the nam e o f subm is
sive h earing, we aren ’t being a little blind. Blind follow ing
m eans to follow w ithout intelligence. T h e function o f the in tel
ligen ce is to discrim inate. W h at should we discrim inate? We
should work hard to discern the truth.
T h a t brings us back to the original point, th at our senses are
faulty, th at we can n o t understand the nature o f the m aterial
world w ithout in form ation received from authority, and ulti
mately, we h ave to discrim inate betw een those who are ch e a t
ing and those w ho are not. If we exam in e Srila Prabhupada’s
ch aracter and ach ievem en ts, we will see th at he is credible. If
we d o n ’t understand everything he says, we can decide th at we
d o n ’t h ave to understand everything im m ediately. W e can trust

in the process th at he gave us o f hearing and ch an tin g and know
th at as we grow in devotion, our understanding will also grow.
A ll we ca n d o is be patien t. A n d we can p reach w hat we do
understand. Preaching brings realization and co n v ictio n as well
as serving to en ligh ten others.
F ree-w rite
Every sen ten ce I h ave w ritten here has been difficult. I tried
to be open, but it was hard, and I h ave no diary oth er th an this
one; everything is going into this one book. T h a t puts a kind o f
pressure on me.
N ow I w ant my sen ten ces to becom e unhinged. I w ant to put
th em all into the pipeline and send them as far as they will go.
S o m e will see the light o f day and som e will not. T h e y will each
h ave the strength to determ ine their ultim ate fate on their own.
For exam ple, I ju st said th at V yasadeva extracted the cream
from the Vedas and taught it to his son, S u k ad ev a (saram saram ).
I also said th at the spiritual m aster teach es us n ot to reject the
Puranas ju st because we d on ’t understand them from our W es
tern p o in t o f view. We think th at w hen the Vedas were being
w ritten, people were prehistoric cavem en. N o one knew how to
write then! W ell, it a in ’t so. It’s the old tussle— w hat we say
again st w hat they say— th at old fight betw een words an d proofs
an d ph ilosoph ies. Prabhupada said, “W hen they say, we say, we
say, we say.” A n d th en we repeat it.
W e say w hat Prabhupada said. T h e newspapers say that m an
went to the m oon; Prabhupada says he didn’t. It’s one authority
over another. We h aven ’t gone to the m oon, not personally, so how
can we prove it one way or another? It’s all based on authority.
Saram , essence. Selected histories, different planets, a variety
o f kalpas represented. They are still w ondering if th ere’s even life
on oth er planets.
You can ju st h ear the doubters in the background:
“ O h , com e on ! O kay, life on oth er planets. T h e n w hat about

the U F O s?”
W e d o n ’t care about U F O s. You know w hat? O ur only n ec
essary evid en ce is the in form ation in the Bhagavatam itself.
“W h at? You m ean the book is its ow n eviden ce? W ho ever
heard o f th at? W h at about archeology and m icrobiology, astron
om y an d physics, and just plain history? W h at about fa c ts?!
W h at about— I c a n ’t believe you people put so m uch credence
in a storybook.”
Prabh upada’s follow er answ ers back strongly— som etim es.
So m etim es h e ’s bew ildered him self. You h ear it: “ I used to
believe everything, but now I’m m ore selective. I’m n ot sure
anym ore exactly what my belief system is.”
Hmm.
Please, Lord, let m e go on ch an tin g so th at I d on ’t ever give
in to the voice o f doubt.
T h e scriptures say th at the truth is h idden in the h eart o f the
pure d evotee. “M y” pure devotee is Srila Prabhupada. Anyway,
w e’ve already been over this. D id you know th at there is a m ild
February w ind blow ing? Q uite unseasonal. S till, it’s the end o f
February an d you never know w hen you’ll run into a M arch
snow storm . You ca n ’t trust the w eather around here.
T om orrow we drive to N ew ark, N ew Jersey, and you c a n ’t
trust th at area either. N ew ark is a slum m y place with crim e and
people w ho w ould love to rob and kill you. T h e plan is to arrive
at the airport in one piece, park, and h on or an Ekadasi break
fast. I’ve heard th at you sh ouldn ’t travel on Ekadasi, especially
w hen it falls on a Thursday. Tom orrow is both. (Som eh ow I
th in k th at applies especially to C a lc u tta .) Srila B h aktisiddh an ta
S ara sv a ti T h ak u ra used to put his bag outside his room the day
before he had to travel on an Ekadasi to signify th at he had
begun his journ ey the day before. W e w on’t do that, but w e’ll at
least pack today. W e h ave begun.
A ctually, you c a n ’t trust m uch in this world. W ho knows if
I’ll be allow ed to enter the country o f the m aple leaf? Anyway,
I do know th at I can write anyw here, by K rsn a’s grace. W riting

is my a ct o f love offered to K rsna w hile w aiting for the water
pum p to be fixed or w aiting to find out th at we have been
rejected at the C a n a d ia n border.
T h e Bhagavatam was V yasadeva’s a ct o f love too, and he
passed it dow n to his Su k ad eva so th at we could all benefit.
A warm February day, wind blow ing m ildly through the

Penn sylvan ia pines. A fter a few days in m ilder V ancouver, w e’ll
catch a ride to S aran agati. It’s a nice drive through the m ou n
tain s o f British C olu m b ia, the roads leadin g further and further
into the w ilderness, the Fraser R iver flow ing by in the gorges.
Finally we’ll see the sm all sign ju st before A sh cro ft an d drive up
the farm road toward the cabin. I’m sure I’ll sigh w hen I arrive
there. It’s a long trip an d one I’ve looked forward to. T h e n I’ll
turn to the n ex t verse o f the Bhagavatam an d th at will be that.
Travel Day — N o P urport

B alad eva wrote me a note th at we should publish A Poor
M an Reads the Bhagavatam volum es as soon as possible because
the world situ atio n m ay m ake p rin tin g more difficult. W hat, is
som eth in g w rong? D oes he m ean som eth in g specific?
I am treated so nicely by the devotees, but the n on devotees
d em an d m oney or I’m n othing. M adhu and I stan d out in our
saffron dhotis, skirt-like, because m ost m en wear business suits
and shiny shoes. W ell, I can guarantee th at none o f them has
had as good a breakfast as we had: E kadasi h ot “cereal,” soaked
figs, ground alm onds, h ot m ilk, honey— all served on shiny
m etal trays w hile we sat facing the A ir C a n a d a ticket agents. I
tried n ot to care w hat they thought, but I do care. I w ant p e o
ple to accep t the H are Krsnas.
A s I said, if you h ave money, tickets, and the proper ID, you
get through the security checks. T h ey can , however, decide to
be overly sniffy at the border. Even before we left, the H ispanic
security w om an delayed me. S h e asked me to open my “O n

T our” bag, the on e where I keep S rila Prabhupada. S h e saw his
m etal tray an d said, “S om eth in g round,” looking for more.
“ H ere’s a C D player,” I offered, trying to seem helpful. T h ey
put my bag through the screen again and this tim e let m e go. It
was a h in t o f w hat could happen.
V yasadeva extracted the essence from the Vedas. It’s a co m
plicated subject, w h at’s in the Vedas and w hat he extracted, but
the p oin t is th at we praise the Srimad-Bhagavatam as the best
because it’s focused on Krsna.
It occurred to m e th at I’ll be sharing a voyage with the very
people w ho would n ot accep t the V edic system o f understand
ing tim e. T h e y ’re w aiting in line to buy tickets right now.
Plane delayed. W aiting. T h e cap tain apologized, but I am

b egin n in g to feel tense. We h ave a con n ectin g flight to catch
from T oron to to Vancouver.
W e’re in Toronto. Im m igration

w ent okay. A friendly w om an
asked where I was going and why,
and I told her briefly that I was vis
itin g friends in V an cou ver and
w ould leave by A p ril 5. She
stam ped my passport and I was
grateful. By then, however, I had a
headache.
A n n oun cem en t: “ Plane delayed
twenty m inutes.”
Lying down across two chairs in
w aiting lounge, thinking o f V yasadeva and “saram ’’ and “ literary
in carn atio n ,” then o f the four-year-old girl lying dow n on her
stom ach colorin g with m arkers across from me while her gran d
fath er keeps her am used. “W here’s M om m y?” G ran d p a says
sh e’ll be back in a m inute.
S a t up and read a little

Bhagavad-gita. K rsna says H e
is the source o f all m aterial
an d spiritual worlds. O n e who
th inks o f H im at the tim e
o f death . . .
The Toronto Star: “ D ian a
A grees to a D ivorce.” “Strike
B lam ed for R oad C h a o s.”
Facing a S alv a tio n A rm y
lady. S h e h as her sm all, black
derby on her lap and I can just
see the red clo th badge. “We
m ay board any m inute now.”
V yasa . . . old Vyasa. Young K rsna. H opeless me clin gin g on.
W e finally boarded. D escen ding now from 39,000 feet over

Vancouver. A ll I see are snowy forests. M adhu is reading, “T h e
In con ceiv ab le—O n e M ore T im e” by R avin dra-svarupa Prabhu.
I h ave n ot been able to d o anything but doze with a wet rag over
my eye. M adhu is encouraging me to rest. I’m feeling more
hopeful th at we will reach th at cabin in the w oods after a few
days in Vancouver.
“T h a n k you for ch oosin g A ir C a n a d a .”
Vyasa and Bhagavatam and Krsna. “ I am in one sense every
th in g an d yet I am in d epen d en t.” K rsna is above the m odes of
nature. T h e p oin t for us is to enter H is pastim es. N arad a p en e
trates into the Lord’s presence by H is tran scen den tal chan ting.
I com posed a letter to Yam una dasi in O h io in my m ind. My
body is d escen din g in this thick, steel tube o f a jet, and all I can
see below me are sharp m ountain tops and deep valleys. A n d of
course, the river.
Superficial me (false ego), I w ent to the bathroom and sto p
ped for a cup o f water. I ch atted with the three m iddle-aged
stew ardesses. “ H ow lon g

h ave you been traveling?” I
d id n ’t tell her th at last week
we were in India. I told
them I h ad a h eadach e, but
they d idn ’t seem to hear me.
O n e said th at V an couver
was beautiful, and I added,
“ It’s n ot so co ld .” T h a t’s all.
O ur lives are too different. I
am trying to enter Srimod-
Bhagavatam , alth ough I’m
fallen and so sadly hum an,
and they are not. T h a t’s the
distin ction. O ur lives look
sim ilar in such ways, but
below the surface, we share n othin g at all in com m on. W e’re so
near the m ountain tops! I can see the dark pines and the shock
o f white snow. H are K rsna!
March 1, 1996
British C olu m b ia. Stayin g two days at R u p a-R agh u n ath a’s
apartm en t. I’m sore from traveling, but feel I should turn to the
Bhagavatam verse for the lecture today. Preparing for the lecture
may n ot leave me m uch tim e to write in this book. Srila
Prabhupada usually worked at both his writing and his lecturing
even w hile traveling, but I d on ’t th ink he prepared for tem ple
lectures the way I do. H e was always com pletely prepared to
speak, living the life o f the Bhagavatam preacher so fully th at the
n ectar sim ply flowed from his m outh.
In Vancouver, they’re reading the Fourth C a n to about the
K um aras speaking to Prthu M aharaja. R eadin g the purports
m akes m e w ant to get through the First C a n to in my w riting and
get on to these verses.
T h is particular verse is an old friend. It h as a catchy and

co m p ellin g m etaph or: “W h en o n e ’s m ind an d senses are
attracted to sense ob jects for enjoym ent, the m ind becom es a g i
tated. A s a result o f con tin u ally th in kin g o f sense objects, o n e ’s
real con sciousn ess alm ost becom es lost, like the w ater in a lake
th at is gradually sucked up by the big grass straws on its ban k.”
(Bhdg. 4 .2 2 .3 0 )
Even as I prepare the lecture, I’m th in kin g o f the things I do
out o f sense gratification . Exactly w hat’s being discussed here.
A m I claim in g a new standard w hich enables me co engage in
sense gratification in the nam e o f service and still m ake ad
v an cem en t in d evotion al service?
T h is verse refers to our original K rsna con sciousn ess and how
it is gradually “ lost” or covered. K rsna con sciousn ess is the pri
m al state w hich we can n o t recall. IS K C O N devotees also think
o f this verse as referring to their ow n better days in devotional
service, and how the energy o f their d evotio n has been sucked
dry by their sense desires. H ow did it happen?
T h is is the sen ten ce I often recall from the purport: “If our
m ind is sim ply filled with sense gratification, even though we
w ant K rsna consciousness, by con tin u ous practice we can n ot
forget the subject m atter o f sense gratificatio n ." Srila Prabhu
pada states, “W e can n o t kill desires.” A ll we can do is to apply
them in the Lord’s service.
T h e exterior o f the V ancouver tem ple looks a little worse for

w ear an d the huge statue o f Lord C aitan y a in the backyard
seem s co ld in the open air. It’s tough to live in a tem ple. A n y
way, I gave the class and spoke with my hands. T h ere was a
sm all sign o n the lectern: “ D ear speaker, please accept our o b e i
san ces at your lotus feet.” T h e n it directed the lecturer n ot to
speak for m ore th an forty-five m inutes, including questions.
T h ey ev en pasted a clock to the lectern so th at the lecturer
w ould know w hen tim e was running out.
I told them about th at line in the purport th at always sticks

in my m ind, and as 1 spoke, I wondered whether I was guilty o f
w hat was being described here, say, w hen I read nondevotee
poetry. It’s hard to figure out always w hat is yukta-vairagya and
w hat is sense gratification. If we can ’t kill desires, and if we have
to purify them , then we have to use them in K rsna’s service. I
found m yself repeating that them e in the class. “T h e way to hell
is paved with good intentions.” T h is verse is so non-sentim ental
because it cuts through our idyllic attem pts to practice Krsna
con sciousn ess and it gets down to the point: if we d o n ’t give up
sense gratification, it will rob us o f our ability to think o f Krsna.
W e’ll try to turn away from m d}d, but at som e point, it will be
too late. T h e kusa grass colum ns o f sensual m editation will have
sucked dry our original lake o f Krsna consciousness.
O h , and a dream . I was in a room with two G odbrothers who

in w aking life have left the m ovem ent. I showed them some o f my
drawings. T h ey asked me, “W hat about the things you haven’t
draw n?” I ad m itted th at yes, there were th in gs th at I
d idn ’t dare draw. T hey both laughed, but in a loose way, indicat
ing that they well knew the sort o f things to which I was referring.
U p o n w aking, I realized that I should be careful o f w hat I
allow in the nam e o f free expression. It’s good to let go, but
th ere’s a lim it to how far I can run with things. I think those two
G o d bro th ers sym bolized persons who were serious devotees, but
w ho had w ithin them desires th at led them away from d e v o
tion al service.
Text 42
sa tu sarhsravayam asa
maharajam pariksitam
prayopavistarh gangayam
paritam paramarsibhih
Sukadeva Gosvami, the son of Vyasadeva, in his turn deliv

ered the Bhagavatam to the great Emperor Pariksit, who sat
surrounded by sages on the bank of the Ganges, awaiting
death without taking food or drink.
Comment
T ran scen den tal m essages are bon a fide only w hen received in
param para: sampradaya-vihina. ye, mantras te nisphala matah. In
this verse, two persons are m en tion ed as authorized to pass on
the Bhagavatam. W e h ave already learned th at V yasadeva was
the literary in carn atio n o f G o d . (L ater in the First C a n to , we
will hear how V yasadeva was instructed by his spiritual master,
N arad a M uni.)
V yasadeva taugh t S u k ad eva and S u k ad ev a delivered the
Bhagavatam to M ah araja Pariksit. S u ta G o sv am i was present at
th at recitation , and he later instructed the Bhagavatam to the
sages at N aim isaran ya.
A lth o u g h m any qualified persons gathered to be with M ah a
raja Pariksit in his last days, young Su k ad eva was selected to
speak. T h is is because he was the forem ost proponen t o f Krsna
con sciousn ess, h av in g received his in struction s from Srila
V yasadeva. H e was also advan ced in self-realization. M ah araja
Pariksit ch ose Su k ad eva because the king was inclined to hear
about pure bhakti, n ot a lesser system o f karm a or jnana.
M ah araja Pariksit taught th at it is crucial to rem em ber Krsna
at the tim e . death. W hatever we do during our lives will be
tested at the end. T h e goal o f life is ante narayana sm rti, to som e
how or oth er rem em ber Lord N aray an a w hile leaving the body.
K rsna also teach es this principle in the eighth ch apter o f the
Bhagavad'gita: “ W h atever one thinks o f at the tim e o f death,
th at state he will attain w ithout fail.” It is im portant, therefore,
to w holeheartedly cu ltivate K rsna conscious practices, especi
ally h earing, chan tin g, and rem em bering the Lord.
A s W esterners, w e’re gettin g a late start in life. We h ave n ot

been raised in the culture o f Bhagavatam but in the culture o f
sense gratification . S till, we are fortunate in th at we h ave not
im bibed false or wrong interpretations o f the Bhagavatam. For
m ost o f us, our first exposure to V edic thoughts was in
P rabh upada’s books. In India, there are m any n on devotion al
com m en taries. Even im personalists hold seven-day “Bhagavata-
saptaha" recitation s, and prakrta-sahajiyds recite only the T enth
C a n to where rasaAila is described. People becom e bew ildered
about the con clu sion o f the scriptures. Prabhupada’s purport to
th is verse w arns us only to hear the Bhagavatam in param para.
A lth o u g h this verse lists only the very first persons to recite
the Bhagavatam , the bon a fide V aisnava sampradayas h ave c o n
tinued to h ear and ch an t the Bhagavatam for centuries. A l
though each sam pradaya m ay differ slightly in its V aisnava
em phasis, each sam pradaya is bon a fide. Lord C aitan y a appeared
in the B rah m a-M adhva-G audiya sam pradaya, and thus we hear
the Bhagavatam through the teachings o f the S ix G osvam is,
S rila V isvan ath a C ak rav arti T hakura, dow n to Srila Bhaktisid-
d h an ta S arasv ati T hakura, and then through Srila Prabhupada.
T h ere is no need for us to stray from this sam pradaya. W e are
already receivin g the sum m ation o f all sampradaya teach ings
through Lord C a ita n y a ’s disciplic succession.
W e can feel righteous about our param para, but only if we
invest our h eart and soul in follow ing it. T h eoretical book
know ledge will situate us nom inally in our sam pradaya, but sam
pradaya is n ot the sam e as caste. It is a living ch ain o f devotion
to a particular set o f teachings. O ur teachings, under Lord C a i
tan ya’s protection , can lead us to prema'bhakti.
To m ake our follow ing heartfelt, we have to realize the im m i
n en ce o f d eath and the instructions and exam ple o f M ah araja
Pariksit. It is difficult to im pose rem em brance o f death on the
m ind; it seem s so far away. We can n ot even im agine how our
senses, w hat to speak o f our activities, will one day be shut down
and becom e inert. W e tell ourselves, “ I’ll h ave to deal w ith th at

w hen the tim e com es, but w hat is the use o f m editating on it
now ? I h ave so m any things to d o !”
It’s true, we live our lives and then we die, and they are two
different processes. But they are n ot disconn ected. T h e aim of
both should be the sam e. W hile active, we should practice
th in kin g o f K rsna in as m any ways as possible. A t death, we will
reap the results o f our practice and be absorbed in K rsna co n
sciousness as we leave the body. Prabhupada assured us th at if
we d id n ’t p ractice K rsna consciousness seriously during our life
tim e, we w ould n ot be able to focus the m ind on H im at death.
It is im portan t to grasp th at truth as early as possible in life and
th en spend all m ental and physical energy trying to link our
selves to K rsna. N o th in g else is im portant. K rsna is the sole eter
nal goal. Prabhupada states, “A t the critical hour o f death one
m ust recite the nam e o f G o v in d a .” N o one is exem pt from this
responsibility.
Two points: the parampara descends from Vyasadeva, and we
need to rem em ber Krsna at death. It’s easy to blam e others for dis
tracting us. M adhu distracts m e w hen he steeps his pepperm int
tea in the kitchen. Is it his fault if I can ’t rem em ber Krsna? T h e
floorboards creak under som eone else’s feet, or som eone knocks at
the door while I’m chanting. It’s the FedEx m an, and he wants
twelve C a n ad ian dollars’ tax on a package he is delivering, but I
d o n ’t h ave it. A ll this is as m uch the surface o f my life as the oak
veneer is a surface on this w ooden desk. You can see w hat h ap
pens quite clearly. T h e veneer is so thin that w hen the pen skates
across it, it leaves an impression. We have to go deeper.
Tom orrow ’s Bhagavatam lecture is on the them e o f being lost.
I m ay quote T h o m as W olfe’s fam ous lines, “O lost, and by the
wind grieved, ghost, com e back again .” “A stone, a leaf, an
unfound door.” W h at does he m ean? I d o n ’t know clearly, but
w hatever he m eans, it’s poetic.
O lost. O surface. O need to write an d desire to m ake it wor
thy, touch base w ith reality an d break through restraints.
T o keep d eath at the forefront doesn ’t m ean to live morbidly.

W e d o n ’t w ant to w histle in the graveyard, w hich would m ean
denying d eath out o f fear, and we w ant to assure ourselves th at
our lives h ave validity even now. It’s only true if they are c e n
tered on K rsn a’s service. O therw ise, w hat are those life a c tiv i
ties? D igestion , passing stool, eating, sleeping, m ating, and
defending. W e speak o f m ain tain in g our health , but Prabhupada
scoffed, “W h at is h ealth ? You will die anyway.” R eal philosophy,
he said is “ to keep death at your front.”
Bought m ore n otepads and pens th at write quickly based on
the assum ption th at I will be alive to use them . I also assum e
th at after I die, my w riting can con tin ue to help others. T h o m as
M erto n ’s diaries are now being published tw enty-five years after
his death . I w onder if th at helps him , the soul who was in
M erto n ’s body.
Fe fi fo fum! —
Footfalls in the apartm en t overhead.
I d on ’t think m uch about death. I tend to think it’s because I’m
level-headed. Truth pokes a hole through for all o f us eventually.
T h ere are different social attitudes toward death. S om e think

death is really the end— no soul. O r even if there is a soul, the
soul h as no co n n ection with w hat he has left behind; he has
gone to jo in the spirits. You can sell his boots. “T h e truth,” one
writer said, “ is in the sensual co n crete.”
W ell, th a t’s all right if you’re still alive, but w h at’s the ques
tion o f “sen sual” after your soul departs from the body? T h e n the
only con crete anyone knows is in the cem en t on the streets or
in your tom b or in the cem en t they used to sink you in the river.
O th ers agree th at d eath is the end. T herefore, eat, drink, and
enjoy as m uch as you can until you die. You m ight as well since
ex tin ctio n follow s. T h a t’s the teach in g o f C arv ak a M uni: get
ghee at any cost. A n d d o n ’t worry, th ere’s no punishm ent after
death because there is n o “after d eath .” T h e re ’s ju st nothing.
W e know th at the w eight o f our lives carries us past death to

a new life. T h e m ore we m editate on K rsna now, the more likely
we are to find ourselves absorbed in K rsna at the tim e o f death
and the m ore likely it is th at we will be attracted to a situation
th at en h an ces our m editation in the n ext life. Practically, m ed
itatin g on K rsna now may m ean engaging in activities th at we
like to do and offering them to Krsna. O r it m ay m ean giving up
w hat we like and doing that for Krsna. It may m ean different
things, but we can judge w hether we are being successful by
w hether or n ot we are able to m editate on Krsna.
W e learn how to do this as we go along. We learn a lot of
things. For exam ple, I learned recently that if you try to sleep
im m ediately after eating, you’ll get indigestion, so now I sit up
for an hour. O n e doctor also told me that during th at tim e, I
sh ould n ’t do any heavy m ental work because it will steal energy
th at should be directed to the stom ach. “A llow the blood to
work dow n th ere.” Okay, I’ll do som ething light. Like w hat? I’m
sharing this on e room with a few others, so I w atched w hat they
were doin g and passed the time. Finally, it was tim e to rest and
this is the im age th at cam e to m ind:
S u k a to S u ta — the football is tossed. T h e enemy, the oppo s
ing team tries to interfere, but the param para goes on. Even
S arik aracary a told h is follow ers th at th eir w ord jugglery
w ouldn’t save them at death. Bhaja govinda, bhaja govinda, bhaja
govinda mudha-mate.
D eath . It could com e at any tim e and in any way. You could
suddenly rupture som eth in g from carrying som eth in g too heavy.
If your h eart isn’t strong, it m ight attack you. People could m is
take you for a p otato or a rabbit on the street and kill you. O r
they m ight m ake you an ob ject o f terrorism and rub you out. A ll
these th in gs are possible. You’d be elim inated. But if you think
o f K rsna at the end, your life will be successful regardless of how
death captured you. U rukram a dasa died here a few years ago,
surrounded by devotees and pictures o f Krsna and the holy nam e.

H e was a tolerant, good soul, despite his physical handicap.
M ah araja Pariksit d id n ’t take food or drink w hile he aw aited

d eath on the ban k o f the G an ges. S u ch is the serious proposal
we all face in one way or another. N o more m erry-m aking or
upkeep. A ll th at’s im portant is hearing about K rsna and d evel
opin g our attractio n for H im . I plan to speak about th at at a
“d isciples’ m eetin g” tonight. I put th at in quotes because on
S rila Prabh upada’s behalf, I gave in itiation to dozens o f persons
here, but only a few are left. O f them , only a few bother to write
me letters. S o w hat do 1 say at such a gathering? I’m not going
to attem p t to talk o f our relationship, how it has failed or how
to revive it. Instead, I h ave ch osen Bhagavad-gitd 7.1. I’ll talk
about how we should read Prabhupada’s books and approach
K rsna through them .
K rsna is a person. We tend to forget that, at least in an active
way. But H e is the m ost im portant person in our lives.
C h ristian s refer to H im vaguely as G o d . W e know H im person
ally— the all-attractive K rsna who speaks Bhagavad-gitd and who
is described more fully in the Bhagavatam. W hen H e speaks and
w hen we hear, our hearts becom e cleansed and our original
K rsna con scious nature is revived. I’ll say all that, and if they
h ave question s, I’ll answer them . In th at co n text, we will a ctu
ally carry out the heart o f the guru-disciple relationship. T h e
h eart is hearing about Krsna. W ithin th at realm , the guru guides
the disciple and the disciple inquires and serves. T h a t’s all.
W h en the m eeting is over, we’ll pack our item s loosely in
boxes, sh oppin g bags, and suitcases, and stow them in R u p a’s
van. T h e n early in the m orning off we’ll go. I pray K rsna allows
me a productive m onth. I’m lookin g forward to breathing in
th at cold m ountain air.
Text 43
krsne sva-dhamopagate
dharma-jnanadibhih saha
kalau nasta'drsam esa
puranarko ’dhunoditah
T his Bhagavata Purana is as brilliant as the sun, and it has

arisen just after the departure of Lord Krsna to H is own
abode, accompanied by religion, knowledge, etc. Persons who
have lost their vision due to the dense darkness of ignorance
in the age of Kali shall get light from this Purana.
Comment
Lord K rsna com es to this world w ith H is spiritual abode. H e
an d H is abode are all m an ifestation s o f atm a-m aya, H is own
in tern al energy. E ven though H e com es into the earthly regions,
H e is un touch ed by its influence. W hy does H e com e here since
H e h as H is ow n superior abode? H is m ission is to reclaim the
fallen souls an d to teach real religion.
People in Kali-yuga are blind to the real purpose o f religion.
K now ledge o f our relation sh ip with G o d (sam bandha), perform '
ing activities as H is servan t (abhidheya), and going back to
G o d h ea d (prayojana) are the substance and m ean in g behind
h um an life. W e are n ot m ean t to becom e “royal edition s o f the
an im als,” as Prabhupada puts it. “T h ey can risk their lives to
becom e a dog or h og ju st after leaving the present body, for they
have com pletely lost sight o f the ultim ate aim o f life.”
Lord K rsna appeared at the end o f D vapara-yuga, stayed 125
years, an d dem on strated everything we need to know to revive
our pure K rsna consciousness. U p o n leaving the earth planet,
He a lso em pow ered V y asad ev a to co m p ile the Srim ad-
Bhagavatam. T h e Bhagavata Purana and the Bhagavad-gita are
the torches by w hich those w ho are blind can see. Ju st by
reading these two scriptures, we can becom e enlightened.

T h erefore, this verse is an answ er to the sages’ question in
1.1.23: “S in ce S ri K rsna, the A bsolute Truth, the m aster o f all
m ystic powers, has departed for H is own abode, please tell us to
w hom the religious principles h ave now gone for shelter.” T h e
essence o f all religious principles can be found in the Srimad-
Bhagavatam , the sound representation o f the Personality of
G o d h ead . If we can learn to appreciate K rsna through the Bhag-
avatam , we will m eet H im face to face.
T h is sloka is inviting. W e “shall get light from this Purdna." By
contrast, Prabh upada’s purport is heavy. H e denounces the blind
ness o f this age. Everyone is practicing a pretense of religion.
Pretense m eans it’s actually anim al life. O f course, the processes
o f dharma, artha, kama, and moksa are actually part o f the Vedas.
S rila Prabhupada is n ot denouncing the Vedic processes in th em
selves, but is poin tin g out that they are not actually being fo l
lowed in the way that fulfills their purpose o f elevating the
hum an being. A n d even beyond that, the essential ingredient in
any life process is bhakti. W ithout bhakti as the ultim ate goal,
even these Vedic processes are not so progressive. Dharma w ith
out G o d consciousness is not real dharma. Kam a based on a
slaughterhouse society is hellish. Artha w ithout sacrifice binds
one tighter to the m aterial world. M oksa aim ed at im personal
realization is n ot even perm anent. Therefore, Prabhupada points
out in this purport that we have to understand the true essence
o f h um an life by referring to the three essential steps described
in sastra: sam bandha, abhidheya, and prayojana.
S o m eo n e asked me recently m ore about this verse. He said
th at sin ce Lord K rsna returned to H is abode accom pan ied by
religion and know ledge, it d oesn ’t seem that H e left anything
beh in d for us. If all we have is the pretension o f religion and
know ledge, if th a t’s all H e left us with, how then can we be held
responsible for our ignorance? How can we possibly be expected
to know enough to approach the Bhagavatam if all we have
experien ced in life is falsity?
S u ch a q uestion m isses the p oin t o f this verse. K rsna returned

to H is abode w ith religion an d know ledge, but H e also left it
behind, ju st as the sages use the bo at o f know ledge to carry them
across the river, but sim ultaneously leave it on the oth er shore
for oth ers to follow later. In Dvapara-yuga, K rsna blessed the
earth with H is presence; in K ali-yuga, He con tin ues to bless the
world w ith H is presence through Srimad-Bhagavatam. W ake up
and receive the nectar. “T h is beautiful Bhagavatam, com piled by
the great sage V yasadeva [in his m aturity], is sufficient in itself
for G o d realization. . . . A s soon as one atten tively and subm is
sively hears the m essage o f Bhagavatam, by this culture o f
know ledge the Suprem e Lord is established w ithin his h eart.”
(Bhag. 1.1.2)
W e m ay claim the Bhagavatam's good credits for our own

w riting w hen we write on the instructions o f Bhagavatam. In
order to claim those credits, however, we h ave to be sure that
our w riting follow s the teach ings o f the Bhagavatam. D o n ’t co m
m it aparadha. T h e Bhagavatam is as sacred as the body o f Krsna.
We are given m any rules in approach in g the Deity, but alm ost
n one w hen approach in g the Bhagavatam. T h is one rule we
know, how ever: it is an offense toward the holy nam e to b las
phem e the V edic literature or literature in pursuance o f the
V edic version. N o t to blasphem e is the n egative in jun ction ; to
praise the Bhagavatam is the positive injunction. B oth should be
done. O ur w riting should serve both purposes— to defend
again st blasphem y and to offer praise.
T h is m en dicant dares to ask for what he thinks he needs:

facility for service, for his m onth o f writing. H e w ants ju st the
right roller-point pen, ju st the right size o f new sprint (1 2 ”x 18” ).
H e d oesn ’t always get w hat he asks for, but he continues to ask.
O h , and the right kind of draw ing paper and black fountain pens.
H e asked for an IBM , but got a sm all, battery-operated Brother
typewriter instead. H e already has a warm co at and boots.
T h e sudden passin g away o f G au ra-G o v in d a M ah araja u n

derlined for m e th at I should do w hat I w ant to do in K rsna’s ser
vice an d th at I sh ouldn ’t be afraid o f peop le’s disapproval. I
th ink G au ra-G o v in d a M ah araja ach ieved his goals. H e co n
structed a beautiful tem ple for Prabhupada and even added a
tem ple w ithin it for R ad h a and Krsna. In his last years, his talks
flow ed freely from w hat was in his heart. N ow his disciples have
their work cut out for them in follow ing up all th at he estab
lished. I d o n ’t w ant to pass away before I com plete my work,
w hich is different th an his. T herefore, I dare to ask for pens,
new sprint, a p en cil sharpener, and other item s for my service.
W e are ap p roach in g the end o f the third ch apter o f the First

C a n to . I w ant to savor the chapters we h ave already read and
return to them often.
Tom orrow is an oth er travel day— a day o f interruptions. I
n otice it w hen I’m n ot able to write in a day. O ur service, w h at
ever it is, dem an ds our full atten tion . W e should n ot neglect it.
O therw ise, we will never understand its deeper m eanings.
T h e day after tom orrow is G aura-Purnim a. The N ectar of
Devotion states th at it is im portant to our devotion that we
observe these holidays. I struggle w ith th at som etim es. I d o n ’t
m ind observing them , but I d o n ’t always like to do so in the
social settin g o f IS K C O N tem ples. It feels like yet anoth er
interruption to my service. I would prefer to offer obeisan ces to
Lord C a ita n y a by w riting all day on the Bhagavatam. I would
also prefer n ot to have to speak. I suppose I will h ave to, though.
People will th ink I’m too odd if I d o n ’t.
W here I’m staying in Vancouver, the front door o f the ap art
m en t open s right into where I sit and write. T h is m orning dur
ing breakfast, an Indian m an cam e in and sat dow n beside me.
“H ow are you?” he asked.”
“ I’m all right. A n d you?”
H e asked if I still occasion ally get headaches. H e said he used
to get them , but th en he discovered som eth in g th at I should try.
H e said I should m ake capati dough an d p lace it in a ring around

my h ead. N o kidding, he actually said that.
T h is Bhagavata Purana is as brillian t as the sun. T h ere is an

I S K C O N p ain tin g th at illustrates this verse. Saffron-robed
V yasadeva is holdin g the open Bhagavatam aloft an d a beam o f
light is shin in g from it and illum inating the upturned faces o f
the people. T h e light also illum ines the form o f K rsna w ith H is
cow, an d below, in the dark, the pain ter has illustrated horrible
K ali-yuga activities. You could call it a propagan distic illustra
tion, but the p oin t is w ell m ade: K ali is full o f sin and ignorance
an d the Bhagavatam alone sheds light upon it. In the picture,
only a few people are turned toward the light. T h e rest are figh t
ing or h avin g sex or gettin g drunk.
G o t a new sw eater with C an ad ian -S c an d in av ian snow flake
pattern s on it— dark gray an d white. N o t exactly w hat you
would e xp ect to see a sannyasi wearing, but I h ave taken to ca ll
ing it my “w riter’s sw eater.” I’ll play the role o f sadhu tonight. I
don ’t know w hat they expect. Inquiry should be m ade, but not
in a ch allen gin g way. R ather, “O n e m ust subm it questions with
great regard for the speaker and the subject m atter.”
“ H ow far is it to S aran ag ati?”

“T h ree and a h a lf hours,” he said. “ I can try
to m ake it sooner.”
“N o , d o n ’t rush,” Better to arrive safely by
driving at a norm al speed. T h a t’s all right. If we
start at 5 A.M. I’ll rest in the back seat. I’ll also
be able to ch an t extra rounds since I plan to
finish my sixteen before we leave. I plan it be
cause I lack taste.
Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.3.43 is the epitaph verse, the only sloka

from the entire First C a n to to appear on the title page o f the
B B T volum e. Srila Prabhupada chose it, so it must be im por

tant. We d o n ’t consider it as m uch a pram ana (proof) as 1.3.28
(krsnas tu bhagavan svayam ), but it’s a great glorification o f the
Srim ad-Bhagavatam .
M ake it a practice to turn to the Bhagavatam from your m o
m ents o f darkness— the darkness o f dreams, where images collide,
and riddles are posed. Turn on the light o f the Bhagavatam.
A n d speaking o f darkness, w ho’s to say physical darkness
w on ’t soon d escen d on any o f us? We scribble words dow n while
light pours on a page, and we use the light in our brains, but the
dim m ing influence o f old age is approaching, and our wits are
bound to becom e m ore feeble. Light! G iv e us the light o f Sri
K rsn a’s pastim es!
D o I sound like a cheerleader

kicking up my m ajorette knee in a skirt,
an d tw irling a baton ?
“ W hy is it th at you have evolved now so th at your writing

is ju st focused on Krsna, as in Qualities of Sri Krsna, w hereas
form erly . . . ?”
I was always for Krsna even in the beginning, and wrote what
the Sw am i taught. It seems to me that I’ve evolved a more cen-
tered-in-self-and-who-we-are-now approach in my attem pt to
place m yself and everything else in the circle o f devotional life.
T h a t’s where I am right now, and this too— this too— is Krsna con
scious. T h e light o f the Bhagavata reaches here too, and transforms
music and books and art, and claim s them for Krsna’s service.
L o u isian a Purchase, Louis and C lark exp edition — w herever
you go, claim everything for the Lord.
Is th at w eak w inter sunlight reaching me and h ittin g my page
like a d istan t polar star? Yes, spring is not far away. You can feel
the electricity in the air. T herefore, let us m editate on the efful
gence o f the divin e sun, Surya N arayan a, the source o f all suns,
Sri Krsna.
0 Ligh t
from this Purana,
1 am p oor and seek
you. You are the fire o f K rsna’s
glow. My belly fire is a tiny
reflection o f your power,
and light seam in g through cracks
in the black. We are n ot lost
in this bad age.
Text 44
tatra kirtayato vipra

viprarser bhuri-tejasah
aham cadhyagamam tatra
nivistas tad-anugrahat
so 'ham vah sravayisyami
yathadhitam yatha-mati
O learned brahmanas, when Sukadeva Gosvami recited

Bhagavatam there [in the presence of Emperor Pariksit], I
heard him with rapt attention, and thus, by his mercy, I
learned the Bhagavatam from that great and powerful sage.
Now I shall try to make you hear the very same thing as I
learned it from him and as I have realized it.
Comment
S u ta is speaking in the first person, “ah am ." T h e “I” is n ot
forbidden in V edic culture, as long as it is a hum ble one. We
only forbid the “ I” w hen it claim s more th an it has a right to—
“ I” (m ean in g m e) was there before the creation, “ I” am the sole
sustainer o f the un iverse.” T h a t “ I” w hich identifies us with the
Personality o f G o d h ead as if we were H im is wrong.
S u ta ’s m ood is different. H e says he was fortunate to be am ong

the m any souls w ho heard Sukad eva G o sv am i speak to M ah araja
Pariksit. S u ta G o sv am i doesn ’t claim that he was the only one
w ho heard, or even the best listener. H is claim is sim ple and
hum ble and in proper perspective. W e share his feelings when
we talk about our ow n relationship with Srila Prabhupada. We
were am on g those who received Prabhupada’s mercy. W e w eren’t
the only ones, n ot even the best ones, but we were there too.
S u ta was fortunate too because he was able to h ear w ith rapt
atten tion . W ere we so fortunate in our attem pts to hear from
Prabhupada? Som etim es. S u ta tells us, “N ow I shall try to m ake
you hear the very sam e thing I learned from him and as I h ave
realized it.”
A n o th e r asp ect o f S u ta G o sv a m i’s hum ility is th at he d oesn ’t
claim th at he heard the Bhagavatam directly from Lord Krsna.
H e was satisfied to hear it from the Lord’s devotee. T h u s he real
ized K rsn a’s direct presence by the process o f sravanam.
S rila Prabhupada im plies in his purport th at w hat was true
long ago for S u ta G o sv am i con tin ues to be true today. W e each
m ust h ear from a qualified representative o f K rsna w ho will pre
sen t the Srim ad'Bhagavatam w ithout alteration. T h e n in turn,
we should repeat it with the sam e atten tion to keeping the m es
sage intact.
S rila Prabhupada defines “hearing w ith rapt a tten tio n ” as fo l
low ing the four rules, ch an tin g sixteen rounds, living as a d e v o
tee, an d th en h earing from K rsna’s pure devotee.
“N o one can learn Srimad'Bhagavatam who is associated with
persons engaged in sex life.” T h e hearer has to be pure and the
speaker has to be pure. O nly then will we see K rsna in the pages
o f the Bhagavatam. It seem s like a paradox. T h e Bhagavatam is an
open in vitation to take to the path o f bhakti and to m eet Krsna
face to face. A t the sam e tim e, the road is im m ediately narrowed
with regulation. K rsna is in every page o f the Bhagavatam, the
Bhagavatam is as brilliant as the sun, but we have to hear with
rapt atten tion , and th at m eans living a pure life.
N ow com es th e touchy point: about realization. O n e devotee

w anted to know w hether if he speaks from his actu al feelings
an d experien ce, is it un-bona fide. H e d oesn ’t w ant im purity to
creep in. H e asked, “ I am not pure, so can som eone who is not
pure speak on the Bhagavatam ?”
W h at can I say? I m yself am n ot pure, but I’m still going
ahead to speak in w riting. A ll I can do is encourage him . A t
least I’ll tell h im n ot to con coct, and to give n othin g but the
Bhagavatam w hen he speaks.
O kay, w e’re n ot pure, and we adm it it. T h a t’s why we d o n ’t
see K rsna on every page o f the Bhagavatam. S till, Prabhupada
writes, “ . . . somehow or other if som eon e hears w ith rapt a tte n
tion from the right person, at the very beginn in g one can
assuredly see Lord S ri K rsna in person in the pages o f B hag-
avatam ." (em ph asis added)
T h is is the mercy clause. Did you all hear it?
T h e Bhagavatam is n ot so easily approach ed, it’s true, but
somehow or other ju st hear. D edicate your life to the cause. N o
one said you h ad to be com pletely pure before you could apply
the process. T h e classes are open, the books are availab le (we
even h an d them out on the street), and all we h ave to do is
develop rapt atten tion .
W e w onder w hen we will ach ieve it. Ju st as there are stages
in ch an tin g— nam a'aparadha, namabhasa, an d suddha-nama— so
there are stages in reading. Perhaps despite our efforts we have
n ot really begun to read. W hen, oh w hen will th at day com e? By
co n stan t associatio n with the Bhagavatam (nityam bhagavata-
sevaya), it will com e soon er th an we think.
A ctually, it will com e even sooner if we con cen trate on
w anting it. Prabhupada says “som ehow or other.” I think that
m eans th at even if we d o n ’t yet possess all the q ualification s, if
w e’re n ot com pletely pure in m ind and action , th en it appears
th at there is n o hope. R upa G o sv am i says a d evotee should hope
again st hope, “som ehow or other.” H e should a ct on his hope by
associatin g w ith the book and with the devotees and by doing
everything in his pow er to ach ieve his goal o f bhagavata-darsana.
It’s true th at we w on’t get it before we’re qualified, but go for it
anyway. Som eh ow or other, get in there and beg for it. It ca n ’t
be stolen, but we can borrow it, or beg for it, or at least show our
greed to attain it.
If we’re told th at we are disqualified from rapt hearing, d o n ’t
accep t it. G o anyway to the guru’s door and beg. If he still says
you’re disqualified, th en ask w hat you m ust do to becom e qual-
ified. Perhaps you need to learn the hum ility o f a beggar. But
som ehow or oth er . . .
Prabhupada taugh t us th at K rsna (and the Bhagavatam) gives
m ercy even beyond justice. T h a t is K rsna’s nature as the friend
o f H is d evotees. T h is was also the m ood Prabhupada personally
exem plified in his own life. H e h im self broke the rules o f V ais
n av a society to exten d the Bhagavatam's mercy to the hippie
m en an d w om en o f the 1960s. T herefore, for us, Prabhupada
h im self is the “som ehow or oth er” factor. We d id n ’t deserve the
mercy, but he insisted th at we take it. A s he said, he created our
pious credits. T h is is also p roof th at the pure devotee h as been
given the license by K rsna to dispense H is mercy.
T h e re ’s a nice exam ple o f the d evotee’s mercy in the C ai-
tanya-caritamrta. S arv ab h au m a B h attacarya once asked Lord
C a ita n y a why Isvara Puri kept a servan t from a sudra family. T h e
Lord replied, “ B oth the Suprem e Personality o f G o d h ead and
M y spiritual master, Isvara Puri, are com pletely independent.
T h erefore n eith er the mercy o f the Suprem e Personality o f
G o d h ead nor th at o f Isvara Puri is subject to any V edic rules or
regu lation s.” (C c . M adhya 10.137)
A t S ara n ag a ti and on my first trip to the outhouse. T h e re ’s

no trail out there, so I had to w alk by breaking my way through
the crust o f snow. It’s ju st a sm all A -fram e set up on logs, with a
flap o f can vas for a door. It’s the kind o f place where if you leave
a ju g o f w ater for more th an few hours, it will be ice by the time

you return. I feel liberated just to get back into the heated cabin.
Sn o w flurries fallin g gently. Settled in.
S u ta spoke the Bhagavatam to the sages at N aim isaranya long

ago. N ow thousands o f years later, we are reading Prabhupada’s
books and gain in g knowledge, although we are not so pure. Pra-
bhupada was kind enough to let us practice K rsna consciousness.
W e are about to begin the fourth chapter. U p until now, we
h ave m ostly been listen in g to introductory talk. S till, these
praises o f the Bhagavatam and the process o f h earing are som e o f
the best in the w hole book. T h ey give us enthusiasm to con-
tinue. It’s like how I feel about writing. Som e o f the best writing
is actually w ritten about the writing process— a writer talking
shop. Sim ilarly, the sages appreciate hearing about the process
by w hich they can attain K rsna as m uch as they relish h earing
the n arration s o f H is pastim es.
N ow the snow is lashing around the cabin, but we’ll be warm
tonight. Even if the fire goes out, I can always get up and start it
again. T h e devotees left me a pile o f newspapers with which to get
it going. Tom orrow m orning, I hope to walk in the snow and join
the two resident sannyasis to hear and chant on G aura-Purnim a.
T h e tem ple is good, the devotees are good . . . and m e? 1 must

be good too, or else I would have been thrown into the fire like
a stou t but split log. T h a t will h appen — later. For now, I am
p lan n in g to accep t w hatever com es w ithout dem anding th at it
should be som eth in g else. A fter all, sense gratification m eans
w anting m ore th an your quota, w hereas the Bhagavatam encou r
ages us to take only w hat is necessary to m ain tain body an d soul
togeth er w hile we m ake spiritual progress.
CHAPTER FOUR
The Appearance of Sri Narada
Text 1
vyasa uvaca
iti bruvanam samstuya
muninam dirgha-satrinam
vrddhah kula-patih sutam
bahvrcah saunako 'bravit
On hearing Suta Gosvami speak thus, Saunaka Muni, who

was the elderly, learned leader of all the rsis engaged in that
prolonged sacrificial ceremony, congratulated Suta Gosvami
by addressing him as follows.
Comment
Few o f us know in these m odern days the fine poin ts o f e ti
q uette w hen hearin g and recitin g the Bhagavatam. H ere we see
th at the m ost elderly and senior d evotee in the audience stands
to con gratu late the speaker. H earin g Srimad-Bhagavatam is a
spiritual scien ce; one o f the key elem en ts in the speaker’s ab il
ity to speak is the au d ien ce’s ability to appreciate. T herefore, it
is ben eficial for both audience and speaker if the appreciation is
expressed to the speaker.
A t the end o f the previous chapter, S u ta G o sv am i had e x
pressed his desire to present Srimad-Bhagavatam ju st as he had
heard it from Su k ad ev a G o sv am i and as he had realized it h im
self. Prabh upada defines “personal realization.” T o speak with
our ow n realization does n ot m ean th at out o f vanity, we
123
attem p t to show our erudition or to surpass the previous acaryas.

R ather, we are m ean t to have full confidence in the previous
acaryas w hile sim ultaneously realizing the subject m atter “so
nicely th at he can present the m atter for the particular circum
stan ces in a suitable m anner. The original purpose o f the text must
be maintained. N o obscure m eaning should be screwed out o f it,
yet it should be presented in an interesting m anner for the
understandin g o f the audience. T h is is called realization.”
By m aking these statem ents, Srila Prabhupada has again
show ed the narrow road, but at the sam e tim e, he has given us
the freedom to preach Krsna consciousness according to the
audience. If a devotee is sincerely and thoroughly trained, he will
always m ain tain the original purpose of the text even while m ak
ing the m essage palatable for his particular audience. In his a t
tem pt to help his audience understand the m essage, he may use
exam ples to w hich the audience can relate, even though they
may n ot be the exam ples given in the Bhagavatam. T h is is not
forbidden; rather, it is encouraged: “ . . . it should be presented in
an interesting m anner for the understanding o f the audien ce.”
W e relish Srila Prabhupada’s realizations as he speaks and
writes on the Srim ad'Bhagavatam . O n e tim e, Prabhupada was e x
plainin g that m ental disturbance arises from ignorance. A s an
exam ple, he said th at when he first cam e to A m erica, he did not
know how to catch the bus to Pennsylvania. T h is put him in
anxiety. It was a wonderful life-instance story w hich h elped illus
trate his point. A n oth er time, Prabhupada was describing how
m aya is K rsna’s agency for punishing those in the m aterial world.
H e called her jo b a “th ankless task,” and then com pared it to the
N ew York C ity police force, whom “nobody likes.” Even if a
policem an would com e to the storefront at 26 Seco n d A venue
and sit dow n to hear, he said, the devotees would be suspicious
and w onder why he had com e. A gain his exam ple illustrated his
poin t in a way in w hich the audience could understand.
W hile preaching, however, a speaker should n ot try to titil
late the au d ien ce’s m aterial sentim ents, or to cause others to
The Appearance of Sri Narada 125
becom e attracted to him . T h e speaker is the servant o f sastra. If

he can en tertain his audience, or m ove them to laughter or
sobriety, he does it only to attract them to the Bhagavatam m es
sage. If there is any m undane m otivation beh ind the speaking,
th en although the audience m ay enjoy the class, the purpose of
bringing them to K rsn a’s darsana will n ot h ave been served.
In this co n text, it is useful to understand the difference
betw een jn an a an d vijnana. Jn an a refers to theoretical know l
edge; vijnana to p ractical realization. T h e Bhagavatam speaker
should h ave both.
Som etim es we w onder why S u ta G o sv am i was considered
better th an all others present. T h e Bhagavatam answ ers by
tellin g us th at both Su k ad ev a G o sv am i and S u ta G o sv am i were
“ thoroughly learn ed” in the Bhagavatam and were great devotees
o f the Lord. A lso , it becam e a m atter o f service. Som eo n e had
to serve as speaker an d others as hearers, although it may have
been true th at oth er hearers were also qualified to speak. T h is is
sim ilar to w hen Lord C aitan y a becam e a receptive audience to
the discourses by R am an an d a R aya. W hen devotees w ant to
ch urn the n ectar o f krsna-kathd, both qualified speakers and
hearers are required.
W e m ay also w onder w hat it m eans to present the Bhag-
avatam in an “ interesting m anner.” Isn ’t the Bhagavatam already
interesting? It is interesting for those who h ave developed spir
itual senses. For others, som e o f the topics seem rem ote. T h e re
fore, w hen a speaker brings the Bhagavatam forward for a pre
sent-day audien ce to hear, he may find it necessary to “create”
their interest.
O kay, but often devotees give so m any apparently m undane
exam ples in the nam e o f appealin g to factory workers or lawyers
or college studen ts or h ippies th at we h ave to w onder w hether
the exam p les are really part o f bhagavata-kathd. But it’s true. If
the purpose beh in d speaking the Bhagavatam is being served,
th en the apparently m undane exam ples becom e part o f the
veh icle th at carries the m essage into peop le’s hearts.
N o t only that, but the speakers them selves, if they have

internalized the Bhagavatam, will speak from their realization.
W h at is th at realization? It will be the Bhagavatam principles as
they are p ractically applied in the m odern day. S u ch talks are
absolute if they glorify K rsna and the process o f devotion al ser-
vice. S rila Prabhupada also gave exam ples from his everyday
life. O n e tim e, w hen trying to convey the m eaning o f the rasa
dan ce, Prabhupada described it by referring to how the boys and
girls had jo in ed hands and dan ced in G o ld e n G a te Park during
klrtana. T o exp lain why Lord C aitan y a appeared in the m ood o f
S rlm ati R adh aran i, he gave the exam ple that if the spiritual
m aster w anted to know w hat his disciples felt for him , he would
h ave to take their position . We treasure such personal exam ples,
and they do n ot divert us from understanding the poin t for
w hich they were given. T h e exam ples them selves can form a
corollary literature— w ritten in pursuance o f the Vedic version.
Follow ing Prabh upada’s guidelines, we should try to m ake
our Bhagavatam lectures interesting and relevant to the audi-
ence. But we should be cautious. “ Interesting” and “relevan t”
d oesn ’t m ean using the lecture to present an agenda. Bhdg-
avatam lectures are n ot for soap-boxing. W hile the speaker’s
“realizations” about the problem s he is addressing m ay be valid,
they d o n ’t always h ave m uch to do with finding K rsna’s darsana
in the pages o f the Bhagavatam. W hen pressing m anagerial
issues need to be addressed, better th at the d evotees schedule a
separate istagosthi. A t the end of a Bhagavatam class, everyone
should feel enthused to stan d up and con gratulate the speaker.
W ell, my friend, how does this apply to you as a poor m an?

D o you preserve the original purpose o f the verse and purport,
or d o you screw out obscure m eanings in order to show off your
m en tal agility? A re you using a purport as am m unition for an
argum ent you h ave been having?
W e each judge ourselves (and often, each oth er).

Betide w hen h e’s off
skatin g or talking about the
outhouse at Saran ag ati—
where is th at Bhagavatam verse
1.4.1? A re my struggles valid because
I w ant to be a devotee?
So m e th ink I should be m ore con servative
th an I am ?
I say, “ I c a n ’t. I’m bu stin ’
out all over.”
Snow fell during the night and drifted up against the window
panes. It brings light into the room even thought it’s dark outside.
How deep it is I’ll find out only when I go outside to the outhouse.
T h e Bhagavatam subjects are weighty. We each h ave to find
our h eart’s honesty if we are to understand how to apply them .
D ear readers, can we help each other find our own expression of
K rsna con sciousn ess? C a n we help each other define the scope
o f bon a fide realizations as Prabhupada has defined them ? O ur
sincere in ten t is w hat counts.
G o t to keep loading logs into the stove, so please excuse me.

Jay a G au ra backs me up, com es daily to recharge batteries, clean
out the ashes, keep me supplied w ith logs.
My back ach es from lifting the logs and
because I’m old. Today is a fast day, so I’ll be
drin kin g on ly w ater. T h e d ev o tees will
gather today to celebrate G au ra'P u rn im a
and w e’ll keep the original purpose intact.
W e c a n ’t include a hundred oth er influences in our lives and

study the Bhagavatam w ith rapt atten tion . W e read som ething
from a n ative A m erican poet, hear about a jazz m usician, study
a D an ish philosopher, read a poet from K en t S ta te , and each

on e w hirls in our m inds. D o you know w hat I m ean? Even w hat
I touch in this room spills onto the page like the black soot from
the stove. T h is m orning I burnt my skinny forearm w hen I
brushed again st the h ot stove. It’s like th at— you stain things or
burn them or try to enjoy som eth in g th at later will only cause
you pain . S till, it’s difficult to fit a rough and uneven self into
the co n te x t o f the sacred and tim eless Bhagavatam.
T h e older an d vastly learned speaker stood and said, “ I w ant
to con gratu late you, S u ta , for speaking these topics according to
your realization. W e appreciate th at you were there and heard it
from Suka. You h ave that advan tage, and we are grateful th at
you will now share it with us. We very m uch appreciate th a t.”
T h a t was goin g on right in th at forest, and I am here, a speck
in a pine forest in C an ad a. N o t only that, but we live only for a
speck tim e. T h e n we are wiped from the w orld’s m em ory like
any oth er cipher. In som e cases, species becom e extin ct, but
Prabh upada said th at they con tin ue to live on oth er planets. I
accep t th at as brahrrui'Sabda, although it’s different th an w hat
the people on this plan et assert. I get it from the spotless Purana.
A sym phony can be w ritten to express feelings, but it takes a

soft heart, n ot m ale aggressiveness. M e, I’m a passive fellow
(organ ism ) takin g in the world with my am ebic feelers and re
portin g on local life, like last n igh t’s snow fall.
To h ave no extran eous m essage is good. A V edic speaker
sh ould n ’t add anything. In W estern culture, we consider it a
kind o f genius to bypass the previous “acaryas" in any field, espe
cially if som eon e is able to articulate their theory well. A ctually,
th at’s the defin ition o f muni— he always has to say som eth ing
th at has n ot been said before. A K rsna con scious speaker does
n ot h av e to be a muni, but he should h ave an art to his presen
tation o f the param paras m essage. O ften audiences are passive
or un developed or expectan t. A speaker shapes his audien ce and
takes th em in a new direction o f con sciousn ess by his words.

T h a t ability to be artful in our presen tation o f Krsna co n sciou s
ness is a virtue (a devotee is p oetic), and to m ake such a presen
tation , he has to h ave con trol over his m ind and senses and he
has to be hum ble.
H apless, random words.
I d id n ’t com pose an
opera in C zech language with
a soprano part in praise
o f C h rist. I d id n ’t write
a great K rsna con scious work today.
I only told you w hat happened
as I groped through the day— the nam es and places.
I w ent to the m orning program this G aura-P urnim a m orn

ing. It was at som ebody’s house, or was th at the brahmacari-
dsram at Im m ediately I started to feel w eak behind my right eye.
T h ey asked me to give the lecture, but I said, “W hy d o n ’t we
ju st read together?”
S rila Prabhupada said that we should h ave the inform ation

in our m inds w hen we go to speak, n ot th at we always h ave to
run to the book. T h a t’s personal realization too. Personal real
ization m eans you can cite the sastra in your ow n words w ithout
screw ing out som e obscure m ean in g w hich w asn’t intended by
the text. You can add the spice o f your bon a fide understanding
to m ake it clear, but d o n ’t co n coct.
Text 2
saunaka uvaca
suta suta mahd'bhaga
vada no vadatam vara
katham bhagavatlm punyam
yad aha bhagavan chukah
Saunaka said: O Suta Gosvami, you are the most fortunate

and respected of all those who can speak and recite. Please
relate the pious message of Srimad'Bhagavatam, which was
spoken by the great and powerful sage Sukadeva Gosvami.
Comment
Suta suta mahd'bhaga— twice addressed out o f joy. I am look
ing for th at kind o f spon tan eous expression in my reading o f the
Bhagavatam . T h e S an skrit rhythm is like a tom -tom , or the one-
headed bon go played by Sw am iji.
Please S u ta, O fortunate one, tell us o f Srim ad'Bhagavatam . If
I am eager, this project too will prosper. Utsaha is the foundation
o f hearing, especially for us W esterners w ho lack so m any other
q ualification s. Enthusiasm can carry us. A n d patience.
Be eager to hear the text,
N aray an a’s breathing
com in g all the way from eternity,
as it is. O S u ta! O Su ta!
R ep eated tw ice for joy.
We can im agine ourselves in the assem bly o f saintly persons

at N aim isaran ya, but even m ore th an such visualization, we can
feel ourselves am on g the sages in essence by hearing with faith
and chastity.
T h e San sk rit word for eagerness is utkantha, w hich literally
m eans to stretch the neck upward like a hungry baby bird.
T h a t’s w hat we should feel w hen we hear— that overw helm ing
need to be fed.
Som etim es devotees say it is easier for them to develop their
enth usiasm to hear directly from S au n ak a an d S u ta th an for
their ow n contem poraries, but th at’s a little artificial. W e can be
en th usiastic to hear from those who are speaking the sam e m es
sage now, and respond to such d evotees’ realizations. W e should
n ot n eglect our contem poraries as being too tiny. S it at their
feet and hear, an d the mercy will com e through.
It is true, however, th at h earing from like-m inded devotees

tends to be m ore en liven in g and enriching. T herefore, we
should m ake special endeavor to hear from d evotees whom we
trust in spiritual life. By m aking such devotees feel at ease in oyr
com pany, we can induce them to speak their Bhagavatam real
izations. T h ere is an art to bein g an audience. D evotees want to
talk about K rsna, an d to encourage them , we should m ake rele
van t and in telligen t inquiries and offer pleasin g service to put
them at ease. T h a t d oesn ’t m ean loadin g them dow n w ith a ton
o f flow er garlands, but som ehow m aking them feel really at
hom e, show ing them th at we w ant to h ear their presentation o f
Bhagavatam , and allow ing them to see th at we trust them . T h a t
will aw aken a speaker’s enthusiasm .
I th in k it’s am azing how the Bhagavatam , w hich is so grave
an d filled with so m any intense topics, was so widely distributed
on Prabh upada’s order. O n e tim e a book distributor said to
Prabhupada, “M an y people d o n ’t buy the book because they say
it looks too serious. T h e San sk rit is beyond th em .” Prabhupada
adm itted th at it was a grave book and n ot everyone would be
able to understand it, but he d id n ’t withdraw his order that it be
distributed. H e knew he was preparing his purports for the co m
m on m an.
T h is snowy G aura-P urnim a afternoon, I have nowhere to go.

It’s a little w earing only because I am fasting, but I am doing it to
please Lord C aitan y a. We gathered in the farm building, kids
coloring quietly, an d I led the “G urvastakam " to an unusual tune.
I d o n ’t know how th at tune cam e to me. T h e altar was glowing
w ith candles, illum inating two sets o f G au ra-N itai D eities. A
three-year-old boy dan ced , free from self-consciousness. It
occurred to me th at we each h ave to go deep to get som ething
ou t o f these festivals. T h is festival w asn’t som e huge, blissful kir-
tana follow ing a parikrama to N av ad vip a. It was a sm all gathering
in a funky farm house in the m iddle o f nowhere. We could have
132 4 Poor Man Reads The Bhagavatam
been stan din g there ch an tin g and w aiting to eat, but what would
h ave been the point in that? W here is our actual interest?
D uring the kirtana, som eone was cuttin g potatoes and car
rots. S o m eo n e said casually, “You w ant to lecture?” N o . T h e n we
passed the C c . around and m ade a few com m ents. N o t m uch
focus unless we find it ourselves.
W h at is G aura-P urn im a about? Lord C aitan y a is our wor-
shipable Deity. H e taught the world by H is exam ple how to
ch an t the H are K rsna maha-mantra and revealed the different
layers o f feeling th at would be generated by the pure application
o f the process.
A fte r an hour, one devotee began to tell a story from the
Caitanya-bhagavata about how Lord C aitan y a was a great scholar
even before he was a full-fledged V aisnava. I started feeling
h ead ach e pain an d w hispered to M adhu, “L e t’s get ready to
leav e.” We put on our boots, sw eaters, an d coats and walked
through the snow, m aking tracks up the hill to the cabin. I
n oticed th at my wristw atch had stopped working. W here is my
joy, my spon tan eous joy like S au n ak a ’s “Suta suta"'!
The Appearance of Sri N arada 133
A n h o u r h as g o n e by. S to v e h issin g red co als. M ad h u said he

w ould co m e by h ou rly to see h ow I am d o in g. T h e n e x t tim e he
co m e s, w h ich sh o u ld be so o n , I’ll blu ff an d p reten d I’m in terested
in w h at I’m d o in g, or th a t I’m d o in g so m eth in g very K rsn a con -
scio u s, or th a t I’m a t least b e in g self-sufficien t in my lon elin ess.
I’ll p rete n d a w riter n ee d s h is sp ace an d is ab sorb ed in h is p roject.
Ja d e d ja d e , th e p o e t b egu iles.
G a u ra -P u rn im a in M ayapu r, sto n e flo o rs—
w h o e v e r is left is p rep arin g to retu rn
to h is ow n p la ce , h is prabhu-datui'desa,
to sp read L o rd C a ita n y a ’s glories. T h is m o v e m e n t is sm all
in w orld in flu en ce, b u t L ord C a ita n y a se t it in
m o tio n in N a v a d v ip a an d it w ill go on ,
H is d e v o te e s th e m o o n ’s reflectin g
th e su n o f th e origin al Lord.
I see a c a r creep in g a lo n g like a m ouse o n w h eels w ay dow n

in th e v alle y by th e sn ow -covered lake. P in es like toys in a boy’s
railro ad set, h ills crin k led . E n d o f th e day. O S rila S u ta G o
sv am i, I am grateful th a t you w ere so q u alified an d w illin g to
share your realizatio n o f Bhagavatam w ith us. I w an t to get out
o f th is lim ited , sn ow -covered w orld, ou t o f th is lim ited universe.
I w an t freedom an d light. P lease h elp m e c o n ta in th e co n tin u
ity o f Bhagavatam to p ics, th e in terest an d sin cerity and w illin g
n ess to enter.
T h e y d o n ’t sell Bhagavatam s as m uch on th e street anym ore,

but co o k b o o k s an d sm all bo ok s on tran sm igration . But we used
to sell any odd volu m e— it d id n ’t m atter, S e v e n th C a n to , Part
Two, E igh th C a n to , Part O n e — and use som e line to attract cu s
tom ers— it d id n ’t m atter w hich. M ah avisn u lying in yoga-mdra
becam e a b o ok about surfing— anything. S o m e bought as their
first in trod u ctio n to K rsna con sciousn ess a copy o f the Antya-liLa
an d b ecam e in terested in Lord C a ita n y a ’s m adness. N ow we
tend to package books more for the public— The Science of S e lf

Realization, edited lectures and interviews with H is D ivine G race.
I th ink they still do that big book distribution in Europe though.
I hear they sell a lot o f full sets. W e’ve all seen the photos o f a sm il
ing devotee stacking a dozen or more books in som e guy’s arms. I
d o n ’t know w hat they say to get them to take on such a burden and
to release all that money. T hose devotees must be empowered. Do
they pray? O r is it more work than “m agic” ?
I pray, but it often seem s like me talking into silence. It’s easier,
I guess, because I have time to think about it. T h ere’s no nondevo
tee in a rush that I have to stop, “Excuse me, sir, we are giving out
these books to all the good-looking . . . ” W hat I do is different.
Anyw ay, I’m ready to go on to the n ex t verse and purport.
But before I do, I ju st w ant to tell you how the weeds stand
upright right through the snow. T h e re ’s no green on them , but it’s
clear th at M arch has begun. By the tim e I leave here, it will really
be spring.
Text 3
kasmin yuge pravrtteyam
sthane va kena hetuna
kutah sancoditah krsnah
krtavan samhitam munih
In w h at period an d at w hat place w as this first begun, and w hy

w as th is taken up? From w here did K rsna-dvaipayan a V yasa, the
great sage, get the inspiration to com pile th is literature?
Comment
Sau n ak a is asking about the origins o f the Bhagavatam. W hy was
it w ritten and from where did Vyasa get the inspiration? T h ese are
intriguing questions, and we will be interested to hear the answers
to them . Krsna-katha is the heart o f the Bhagavatam, but inquiries
into the book’s creation are also nectarean and absolute.
T h e sages knew th at V yasadeva h ad authored m any Vedic

texts, including the M ahabharata. T h ey knew th at Srimad-
Bhagavatam h ad a special place, “ tran scen den tal to all [other
scriptures] because it has n oth in g to d o with anyth in g m un
d an e.” T h e y w anted to know the personal details.
T o n o t spen d tim e with the Bhagavatam on a daily basis is a
m isfortune. S rila Prabhupada m en tion s “m undane libraries” in
his list o f sinful and wasteful Kali-yuga activities. People waste
lifetim es sifting through libraries filled with m iscon ception s and
irrelevance. We h ave been given the Bhagavatam ; not to h ear it
daily is alm ost crazy. A s the Padma Purana states: “O Atrtbarlsa,
if you w ish to end your m aterial existen ce, then every day you
should h ear the Bhagavatam th at was narrated by Su kadeva, and
you should also recite it yourself.”
V yasadeva felt the inspiration to write the Bhagavatam. In his
essay on inspiration, Sad ap u ta Prabhu discusses the ph en om e
non o f in spiration as a p roof o f spiritual existen ce. H e cites
in stan ces o f scien tists, m usicians, and artists who h ave received
the in spiration to create or to discover. Inspiration is given by
the Supersoul. Inspiration is beyond psych ological analysis. A n
in ven tor works hard but can n ot solve a com p licated problem .
T h e n suddenly in a dream or w hile takin g a walk, the solution
is revealed to him . Inspiration is a peak experien ce, a m om ent
o f divin e revelation.
T h o m as Edison said that “genius is one percen t inspiration
and ninety-nine percent perspiration,” but som etim es it’s more
th an a tenth . W e work hard w ithout seem ing to get anywhere
and th en suddenly we are blessed with the “ a h a !” th at brings the
final clarity to the work.
T h ere is a definite correlation betw een hard work and inspi
ration. C h am p io n golfer G ary Player said, “T h e harder you
work, the luckier you’ll get.” T h e inventor w ho stays up all
n igh t out o f sheer ded ication to his task is the one w ho will get
“ lucky.” O f course, it is the Supersoul w ho is aw arding his desire.
S om etim es inspiration com es in a vision, on the pretext o f a

dream sen t by K rsna, and som etim es K rsna or the spiritual m as
ter speaks through others. For exam ple, it was a m ilitary officer
and a librarian who inspired Prabhupada to print books rather
th an his m agazine. Prabhupada then m ade translatin g the
Srimad-Bhagavatam his life’s work.
N o t ju st anyone receives the divin e spark o f inspiration. It
was only V yasadeva who was inspired to write the Bhagavatam.
A lth o u g h he was the literary in carn ation o f G o d , still, he
underw ent m uch in tern al w restling before this ultim ate inspira
tion cam e to him . H e also had to face despondency an d perform
austerity. If we w ould like to becom e inspired in our pursuits, we
should be prepared to face the sam e.
A d e v o tee ’s inspiration is to find the A bsolute Truth, and
even a neophyte will becom e addicted to this work if he has an
un derstandin g o f the goal and the d eterm in ation to ach ieve it.
W ith ou t being fixed on the goal, however, it is im possible to
m ain tain determ in ation .
O inspiration, quiet h an d in cold cabin can write day after

G au ra-P u m im a on trail like huskies in snow. Pulling sled over
cold, crusty snow w hile G aura-P urnim a m oon still lingers
beh in d late w inter cloud in the w ilderness. K eep at it.
T h is is my inspired work while

coyotes call in the distan ce and
silen ce is my bhajana.
W here did it begin? T h a t sacred place, R oom 42 o f the
V rn d avan a G u esth ouse. I d o n ’t w ant to betray the prom ise I
m ade there.
I add im purities because 1 am impure. A re they part o f the
in spiration ? T h e Bhagavatam con tain s n othin g m undane, but is
only krsna'katha above the m undane? Is a snow -covered pond
m undane or part o f G o d ’s world ?
W ith ou t proper vision, everything is m undane. A devotee
should alw ays be true to the special vision o f K rsna in every
thing. T h e Bhagavatam is com plete in 18,000 verses, starting
with dhimahi, “ I m ed itate,” and ending with a rem inder to ch an t
the holy nam e. If you give a gift o f the Bhagavatam in a golden
box on a full m oon day, you will go back to G o d h ead . Draw
inspiration from that.
In the first volum e, I wrote lists o f things about w hich I

w anted to write, things that com e from the non-logical part o f
my brain but th at I m ight w ant to put in this book. H ere’s one:
(1 ) G ab rielle R ico talking about spon tan eity in writing. G iv e
yourself perm ission to write. Yes, I w ant to do it.
(2 ) T h e daily m eal and gettin g down to particulars— the
hom iny grains, the h ot cereal.
(3 ) M ortality— life and death.
(4 ) W ood in stove. H eavy iron doors. A concrete, sensual
perception . L ife’s particulars.
(5 ) T h e Bhagavatam stan dard— speak o f the verses. W ho is
this m an in betw een? T h e sages m ight say th at life is so brief it
d oesn ’t m atter who he is. It’s all bondage anyway. T h in k only
th at you are etern al spirit soul.
S o b rief it d oesn ’t matter.

But it seems to m atter. Is that illusion? A ttach m en t?
I get frustrated w hen a drawer w on’t open. Kierkegaard wrote

about th at in his diary: “T h ese petty teasings are as if a m an
w anted to engage in a great work, a great enterprise in w hich his
ow n life and the lives o f m any others depended— and th en a
gadfly settled on his n ose.”
Yesterday I burnt my forearm as I placed a log into the wood-

burn in g stove. It stung, but I co ated it with aloe gel an d I was
able to sleep and perform my oth er activities. Today the burnt
skin fell off an d the skin ben eath is raw and sensitive. I will h ave
to keep it op en to air to allow it to heal. W h at an in co n ve
n ience. H ow will I wear a co at w hen I go for a walk?
T h is is the sort o f inform ation you get w hen I open the door
to diary. M in e is the diary o f a m an m ouse, or a cornbread sn if
fer, and I allow the words to com e regardless o f w hat they are.
T h a t’s perm issiveness, I say, and freedom from con strain t. I w ant
to breathe quietly and acknow ledge my desires. I am ready to
tigh ten my dhoti if and w hen 1 get an order th at to progress in
K rsna consciousness, I have to do such-and-such. I th ink I’ll be
able to ch uck off all sorts o f debris w hen th at order com es.
Anyw ay, for now, I’m burnt but ready to read Srimad-
Bhagavatam. T h e sages are asking V yasadeva for the details o f
how the book was written. S u ta will relate th at story at length.
O h no, d o n ’t m ake light o f the fact

th at you com e back to Srim ad'Bhagavatam .
D o n ’t insinuate you could float off or
be alone on a m ountain top and find
yourself w ithout it. It’s the way
back,
the best tran scen den tal literature.
I adm it I speak dogm a
an d d o n ’t h ave m uch jnana.
T h e S an sk rit is ever-fresh to me
because I usually don 't recognize it.
W h at I w ant to say is
I reach out to Srimad-Bhagavatam n ot
realized but desperate.
T h e oth er p oets are, as S rila Prabhupada
says, n ot able to offer w hat we need.
I’ve ad op ted the language and the dress
an d the way an d the food.
N o th in g else satisfies.
I’m w ith the devotees.
T h is day is escaping. A
poet said, “ I will be dam ned
before I d ie ,” an d we im agine
the rape, the violen ce even
o f th e p oets w ho dem and
som eth in g from their lives—
sex or peace or to overthrow
the govern m en t. W hy ca n ’t
they understand K rsna con-
sciousness? T h e y th ink it’s a
cult, an oth er th in g th at h ap
pened in A m erica in the ’60s
an d ’70s an d th en died out or
w ent to H in d u con gregation s, and the original m en and w om en
grew old and hard. L ast they heard, we d o n ’t ch an t o n the
streets anym ore, an d a new gen eration has replaced them . K rsna
con sciousn ess is n ot relevant to A m eric a’s needs. I im agine th at
th a t’s w hat they think, but o f course I d o n ’t really know. T h ere
are n o Burroughs or G in sbergs on this m ou ntain to ask.
Text 4
tasya putro maha-yogi

sam a-dm nirvikalpakah
ekanta-matir unnidro
gudho mudha iveyate
H is [Vyasadeva’s] son was a great devotee, an equibalanced

monist, whose mind was always concentrated in monism. He
was transcendental to mundane activities, but being unex
posed, he appeared like an ignorant person.
Comment
T h e d evotee is described here as alert. A rju n a is som etim es
called G u dakesa, “one who never sleeps,” by Krsna. A devotee
iS v igilan t an d he avoids m aya’s traps. Prabhupada alludes to the
Bhagavad'gita verse, “W hat is nigh t for all beings is the tim e o f
aw akening for the self-controlled; and the tim e o f aw akening for
all beings is n igh t for the introspective sage.” (B g. 2.69)
W hether d evotee or nondevotee, we need intelligence to pur
sue our goals. T h o se who choose to practice spiritual life also
need introspection, w hereas those who desire sense gratification
do better w ithout it. W hen the opportunity arises to ch an t Hare
K rsna or to hear from a self-realized soul, the m aterialistic person
prefers to sleep. H e needs his rest so th at he will be able to enjoy
in the cinem as and brothels o f the world. W hen such places
open, the spiritualist becom es indifferent. “H e goes on with his
self-realization activities undisturbed by m aterial reactions.”
It can be true, however, th at a devotee m ay rem ain “u n ex
p osed ” an d be hard to discern from the m aterialist. S u kadeva
G o sv a m i was like that. H e did n ot reveal his tran scen dental
ad van cem en t to others. T herefore, som e people th ought he was
ordinary. E ven though a d evotee m ay choose to rem ain “u n ex
posed ,” however, he is never the sam e as a m aterialist, and an y
on e w ho looks below the present surface will see that.
I find it intriguing to th ink th at a person ’s K rsna co n sciou s
ness m ight be so private that no one would detect it. Ju st th ink
o f Ja d a Bharata. H e pretended to be retarded just to protect
h im self from becom in g diverted by any outside influence. T h is

is an in dicatio n o f the gravity o f a devotee. D evotees relish the
associatio n o f like-m inded persons, but w hen such association is
n ot availab le, the d evotee, like a solitary yogi, lives with the
Supersou l in h is h eart an d rem ains self-sufficient. Prabhupada
writes, “ U n less on e is able to relish h appin ess from w ithin, how
can on e retire from the extern al engagem ents m eant for deriv
ing superficial happiness? A liberated person enjoys happiness
by factual experien ce. H e can , therefore, sit silently at any place
and enjoy th e activities o f life from w ithin.” (Bg. 5.24, purport)
M ost o f us fall som ew here betw een the m aterialist and the
spiritualist. Prabhupada states, “T h e con d ition ed soul can n ot
im agine the actu al engagem ents o f the liberated soul.” We
m ight n ot be able to im agine them either. W ho can know w hat
w as in S u k ad ev a G o sv a m i’s m ind and heart? A t the sam e tim e,
we are n ot com pletely bound by the m odes anym ore. W e can
adm it our actu al position and at the sam e tim e n ot feel m orose.
T h a t’s called coun tin g your blessings. W e no longer live in a
w alking dream based on sense gratification, illusion. "O m
ajndna'timirandhasya . . . ” T h e spiritual m aster has opened our
eyes, w hich were shut tight, by the torch ligh t o f know ledge. We
are now h earin g from S u k ad ev a G o sv am i instead o f som e T V
broadcaster or radio disc jockey.
A lth o u g h S u k ad ev a G o sv am i was liberated even from birth,
he is described as vigilan t. T h ere is always work to be done in
our K rsna con sciousn ess, w hether th at m eans stavin g off the in
fluence o f the m odes or engaging in the activities o f a liberated
soul. It takes an alert m ind.
Prabh upada says th at both the co n d ition ed soul and the lib
erated soul are “always alert.” A lertn ess, or atten tiven ess, seem s
to be a ch aracteristic o f a living entity. T h e choice th at we are
given in th is life is where to place our atten tion . D o we stay
con cen trated o n the body or do we turn to K rsna con scious
co n cern s? It’s on e or the other. “W ell,” we say, “ I d on ’t w ant
m aterial life, but I c a n ’t seem to com e up to the standard o f spir

itual atten tiven ess th at is required to attain the goal. It seem s I
am ju st a con d ition ed soul w ho dream s about true spiritual
en gagem en t.” T h e n we can feel regret for th at condition.
nanda-tanuja kinkaram: “O son o f M ah araja N an d a [Krsna], I am
Your etern al servitor, yet som ehow or oth er I h ave fallen into
the o cean o f birth and death. Please pick me up from this ocean
o f d eath an d place m e as one o f the atom s at Your lotus feet.”
( “Sri Siksastaka,” 5)
Hurry up before it gets dark or before an oth er m achine

breaks dow n. S ta y alert. Prabhupada says th at we’re alw ays alert,
but w hen I aw oke after my post-lunch nap, I felt dull. I d id n ’t
w ant sense gratification , but I could n ’t reach spiritual life. Too
m any obstacles seem ed to be in the way. First I had to try on my
boots w ith layers o f socks to see if the boots were too tight. T h e n
I had to get w ood from outside and pile it in the room. I had to
put new w ood in the fire an d stoke it. I had to talk w ith M adhu
about the n otes I h ad sent him . T hrough all this, I felt I was not
able to reach w hat I w anted to reach, w hich was a place o f c o n
stan t m editation on reading the Srim ad'Bhdgaw tam and w riting.
W e can becom e dull, I suppose, especially if we get diverted or
weighed dow n by things on the periphery o f Krsna consciousness.
T h is is a true m achin e. It writes even when you h ave n o th

ing to say. T h e re ’s a self inside me th at rises like a blue flam e and
eats air. I d o n ’t like to load him dow n with too m uch prasadam
or too m any worldly concerns. Let him fly even during the night
o f sleep so th at he m ay dream o f Krsna. C u t him o ff from this
world. A tta c h him to th e lotus feet o f Krsna.
O Lord, he sings. H e w ants to regret his dullness. Yet he
w ants com fort, com fort, and the right-sized shoe. W h o w ants to
w alk w ith sh oes too tight or burns on his arm or in the freezing
cold? W e h ave to get beyond, to be alert an d to protect our-
selves from bad sm ells or words m ean t to hurt us, alert to find
the peace an d tim e to w rite in K rsna con sciousness.
S o m e o n e like Ja d a B h arata no longer cared. H e d id n ’t even
clean h im self. H e d id n ’t work to p rotect a self-im age. H e let
th em sp it at h im an d m ake jo k es at h is exp en se. “U n e x p o se d ,”
deep. H e d id n ’t w aste any energy on e xtern al things. H e was
th a t determ in ed n ot to again m iss the goal o f life. A lth o u g h
Ja d a B h a rata ap p eared to be senseless, he w as so extrem ely se n
sitiv e to h is spiritual life th at he set aside everyth in g else. I am
cau g h t in th e co n ce rn s o f false ego an d th e body an d d o n ’t p o s
sess th a t in n er stren gth . C a n I live m ore u n ex p o sed ? L iv e only
for K rsn a ’s pleasu re. C a n a writer d o this?
W e slide o ff in to n igh t. I’m lo o k in g forw ard to th e m orn in g.

S o m e see th e soul as am azin g, our b reath c o m in g b ecau se o f it.
Be alert.
H e a r y o u rself ch a n t.
“O L ord , O energy o f th e L o rd ”—
ju st hear
O in n er blue flam e w ho e ats air.
L is t o f w r itin g blocks a n d h esita n cies, w orries— a n d so m e

e x o n e ra tio n s
( 1 ) I’m n o t w orthy to w rite.

( 2 ) I’m d o in g to o m u ch o f w h at I like. In th is c o n n e c tio n ,
c o n sid e r T h o m a s M e rto n ’s c o m m e n t o n so litary v o c a tio n :
T h e solitary is necessarily a man who does what he wants to do.

. . . T h is vocation is wisely despised by those who fear to do
what they want to do, knowing well that what they want to do
is not the will o f G od. But the solitary must be a m an who has
the courage to do the thing he most wants in the world to do—
to live in solitude. It requires heroic hum ility and heroic hope—
the m ad hope that G o d will protect him against him self, that
G o d loves him so much that He will accept such a choice as if
it were His own. Such hope is the sign that the choice of soli
tude is G o d ’s choice. T h at the desire for solitude is possibly a
divine vocation. T h at it implies the grace to please G od by
making our own decisions in the hum iliating uncertainty of
everlasting silence that never approves or disapproves a single
choice we make.
— Thoughts on Solitude
(3 ) I write at too great a length. O n this point, I becam e

encouraged to hear o f long V edic works. O riginally the M ah a-
bhdrata h ad 6 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 verses, but a t present only 100,000 are
availab le on earth. T h e rest can be found on higher planets,
where people h ave life spans and m em ories suitable for absorb
ing such huge am ounts o f inform ation.
(4 ) It is outrageous th at I com pare my w riting to V edic scrip
tures an d com m en taries by acaryas. It’s a fact th at I take solace
w hen K rsnadasa K aviraja says he can n o t write to please every
one. S in ce I’m taking shelter o f the Bhagavatam, I also becom e
encouraged w hen I hear the Bhagavata Purana praised: “ In Kali-
yuga w hat is the value o f collectin g hundreds o f thousands o f
oth er scriptures if one does n ot keep Srim ad'Bhagavatam at
hom e? . . . O learned brahmana N arad a, w herever Srimad-
Bhagavatam is present in Kali-yuga, the Suprem e Lord goes there
w ith the dem igods. A person who faithfully recites one verse of
Srim ad'Bhagavatam every day, O sage, attain s the fruit o f reading
the eigh teen P u ran as.” (Skanda Purana, quoted by Jiv a G o sv am i
in Sri Tattva Sandarbha, Anuccedha 22.3)
(5 ) A critic o f my vision may object, “Yes, praise o f the
Srim ad'Bhagavatam is always due, but your books are m ore a case
o f m ilk touched by the lips o f a foolish serpent.” My reply: not
so, n ot so. I h ave n ot changed the Bhagavatam ’s conclusion, only
added my struggles to follow it. A s I struggle, I confess my fo o l
ishness an d seek reform.
(6 ) W hy write and write? Because there’s a need. I need it
and the world needs it. T h e world h as m illions o f volum es by
persons n ot striving for K rsna con sciousn ess and n ot con n ected
to a bon a fide spiritual master. L et us tell them w hat is real life.
It d oesn ’t h ave to be th at only a perfected devotee writes. In
Kali-yuga, a castor tree m ay be the biggest on e around. W e need
to sound the can n o n — and the h an d revolver— o f K rsna c o n
sciousness into the disorder.
D iary M o o d
W ake an d load logs into the iron stove— alert as a sage should
be. Anyway, the self never sleeps. T h e voice inside keeps talking
even as the m outh feels the dregs
at the bottom o f a cider bottle. I heard
a little bird crying outside in
w inter’s cold— an
electron ic beep-beep sound, a
nature cry.
H e ascertained his body w ould hold up

a little longer. A n author told him
o f the relative position s o f M ahabharata
and Srimad-Bhagavatam. H e con tin ued his song:
how he scraped rock b o ttom yet
con tin u ed alone.
Is th at his song?
“T aste and S e e ”: a poster in a subway car m ean t to induce

people to read the Bible. D enise Levertov uses that phrase to
write a secu lar poem speaking n ot o f the Lord, but o f physical
taste— quin ce, plum , flesh, life and death. S h e w ants to live in
an Eden w ith a good appetite.
S o she says. W h at do 1 say? T h e jug o f cider in this room , I
will m easure it ou t day by day.
T aste halava? T aste the Bhagavatam

an d the ach e o f the h an d writing, the
w arm th and cold o f an iron stove
in the sem i-solitude o f Saran agati.
L ittle life.
A s I passed by my secretary
in the dark last night, he said, “You
hardly m eet w ith anyone. Is
it all right?”
H e d id n ’t m ean it was wrong, but that
life is precious an d th at I sh ouldn ’t
do an yth in g w rong or cut m yself
o ff ou t o f resen tm en t or frustration.
Yes, it’s right. I ch oose aloneness. M erton
says the C h ristian solitary d oesn ’t go alone
because it’s ad van tageous for con tem p lation , but
to m ake a gift o f his w hole life to G od .
T aste the m ilk, the figs, the triphala,
the pills, the
Bhagavatam —
an d live. A n d , oh, if only I could taste
the holy nam e.
(Is it up to m e?)
It all seem s so im possible,
but K rsna, You can give th at taste
an d vision ,
for th ose w ho hear.
T h in k in g again about the word “alert.” T h e bird is alert

again st th ose w ho m ight kill it. T h e m onk is alert again st
intruding thoughts. T h e m ilitary are alert, scann in g the screen
for attackers. T h e sense gratifier is alert to the pleasure o f ero
tica. W riters tend to be alert to the subtlety in words.
If we are so alert, why is th at we are in atten tive while ch a n t

ing? W h at price to do we h ave to pay for deep atten tion ? W hy
ca n ’t we renounce w h at’s n ot con ducive to atten tiven ess? B e
cause we’re com m on and c a n ’t do m uch. W hy is it such a sur
prise th at we becom e alert to life’s sm allest things? It seem s th at
our w hole life is m ade o f sm all things. O h , th at the words o f
scripture could aw aken me.
A ll o f this in M arch, in the last w eek o f cold w eather before

the bears com e out, in this brief respite from pain, old age, and
death , alert to the surface but seeking depth.
Text 5
drstvanuyantam rsim atm ajam apy anagnam

devyo hriya paridadhur na sutasya citram
tad viksya prcchati m unau jagadus tavasti
stri-pum-bhida na tu sutasya vivikta-drsteti
W hile S ri V yasad eva w as follow in g h is son , b eau tifu l youn g

dam sels w ho w ere bathin g n aked covered th eir bodies w ith
cloth , alth ough S ri V yasadeva h im self w as n ot n aked. B u t
th ey had n ot don e so w hen h is son had p assed . T h e sage
in quired ab o u t th is, and th e youn g ladies replied th at h is son
w as purified an d w hen look in g at them m ade no distin ction
betw een m ale an d fem ale. B u t the sage m ade su ch d istin ction s.
Comment
T h ere is an illustration o f this verse in an early B B T edition
o f the First C a n to . S u k ad eva is tall and slim w ith a bluish hue
like K rsn a’s. H e is w alking along the river bank naked, but he
d o e sn ’t look at the w om en bath in g in the river. T h e girls sense
his purity an d are not con cern ed by his approach. Behind
S u k ad ev a, som e o f the girls see V yasadeva sw athed in his
householder’s dhoti. T h ose who see Vyasadeva are hastily dressing

while those who notice only Sukadeva continue with their baths.
A liberated sadhu does n ot distinguish betw een one spirit
soul and an oth er based on their bodily designations. H e sees a
dog, a tiger, a brahmana, and a dog-eater as equal because he sees
the soul. H e is n ot blind to the coverings, but he considers them
in con sequen tial. T herefore, he has no prejudice, neither despis
ing a low born person nor pandering to som eone highborn. A n d
he is free o f sex desire. Prabhupada writes, “T h e outward dress is
m ade o f m atter by m aterial nature to attract the opposite sex
and thus keep one entangled in m aterial existen ce.” A tran-
scen d en talist is n ot allured by flesh an d blood.
S o m e aspiring tran scen den talists com e to understand the dif
ference betw een m atter and spirit in a begin n er’s way and then
begin to th ink th at the m aterial body is disgusting. T h eir under
stan d in g is n ot the understanding show n by Sukadeva, who sees
only the soul. Because S u k ad eva sees the soul, he d oesn ’t be
com e attracted by th at w hich is im perm anent or m aterial.
R ather, if he responds to anything at all, it is the allurem ent o f
the soul able to receive pure K rsna consciousness. From such a
position , there is no m ean in g to envy or ill will directed at other
living entities. All souls are capable o f receiving pure K rsna c o n
sciousness because that is the natural and con stitu tion al p o si
tion o f the soul. It is this vision for w hich we should strive. But
we ca n ’t im itate it. T h a t is the lesson o f this verse.
S u k ad ev a lived as an avadhuta and was often m ocked for his
nudity. S tre et urchins and low -class people pursued him and
threw stones. W hen he arrived in the serious assem bly o f sages
who had gathered to w itness M ah araja Pariksit’s departure, the
street people realized that S u kad eva was actually a great soul
and they ran away. S u kad eva tolerated their defam ation and also
the praise o f the sages; he was always thinking o f K rsna w ithin,
and he was happy for the opportunity to speak krsna-kathd.
Som etim es people speak about the hum an form as being
m ade in the im age o f G o d , w hich sounds like such an exalted
thing. H ere, however, the hum an form is described as created to

allure a sex partner. People also say th at beauty lies in the eyes
o f the beholder. U ltim ately, if the beh older has spiritual vision,
he will see the h um an form as godlike, and if his eyes are filled
w ith lust, he will see only victim s o f his sense gratification. T h e
h um an form is actually som ething neutral; it is n ot intrinsically
bad. W h at is bad is the m ood o f exploitation . If a m an sees a
beautiful w om an and understands th at she is K rsn a’s servant,
th en there is no harm in his perception o f her beauty. If he sees
a w om an as an o b ject for his ow n enjoym ent, however, his per-
cep tion o f her beauty will drag him dow n into lust.
D evo tees often w onder why the girls bath in g in the river saw
a d istin ction betw een V yasadeva’s status and S u k ad e v a’s status,
sin ce V yasadeva was the father and guru o f his son. A ctually,
V yasadeva was liberated like Sukad eva, but he had assum ed the
role o f a co n d ition ed soul. M ost householders are m aterially
attach ed , especially to the opposite sex. M ost householders
striving for spiritual life h ave to actively restrain their senses.
W e all h ave experien ce o f how the senses are strong. T h ey can
carry away even the m ind o f a m an who is endeavoring for
detach m en t. T herefore, the sages advise m en n ot to sit alone
with any w om an, n ot even their m others or sisters.
V yasad eva’s exam ple is som eth in g extraordinary because he
was living as a householder w hile rem aining com pletely tran-
scen d en tal to m aterial considerations. A t the sam e tim e, like all
great souls, he set an exam ple for others to follow. We can n ot
cheaply im itate his inner m ood, but we can follow his exam ple
o f proper behavior. W hile V yasadeva m ight not feel the stirrings
o f sex desire in his heart, we m ight. T herefore, it is vital for us
to follow the codes o f religious behavior.
W hen we analyze this purport, it would seem th at practically
no one is a fully renounced sannyasi. W ho can claim th at he
d oesn ’t see w om en as objects o f enjoym ent? E ven Lord C aitan y a
(again , to set an exam p le) said th at H e would becom e disturbed
if H e saw even the w ooden form of a w om an. T herefore, H e pro

tected H im self by n ot associatin g intim ately with ladies.
Before som eone can take sannyasa, he has to prove his ab il
ity to be celibate. H e may adm it w ithin h im self th at he still
m akes distin ction s betw een m ale and fem ale. However, he
always protects h im self by his K rsna conscious practices. H e rel
ishes his freedom from sex desire, or at least sexual engagem ents
and thoughts. A s long as he stays on that platform o f freedom ,
it is n o t hypocritical for him to take sannyasa, even if he finds
h im self adm ittin g th at he has n ot cleared all sex desire from his
heart. Sannyasa is a serious com m itm en t to practice com plete
celibacy. H e sh o u ld n ’t dally with w om en, but neither should he
be overly affected by their presence. A t heart, he actually has to
h ave a good m easure o f the realization S u kad eva G o sv am i had.
If a sannyasi builds a reputation as a leader on the strength o f
his celibacy an d spiritual advan cem en t; he could find h im self in
trouble. B etter he adm it his fallibility and seek protection from
K rsna w ithin. H is follow ers should also carefully protect him
from danger. If he begins to think o f h im self as liberated and
therefore above falldow n, and if he allow s his follow ers to see
him in th at way, he m ay slacken his strict follow ing and find
h im self in trouble.
We h ave to preach the vision of tattva-darsana, the seeing o f
the soul and n ot regarding the body as the essence o f a person.
A t the sam e tim e, we have to be practical and realistic and do
everyth ing with an honest adm ittan ce o f our true spiritual level
in m ind.
O p en up over the lake,

op en up, unfold—
I’ve got som eth in g new to say.
S u k ad ev a w alked along and the

ladies w eren’t asham ed, he
w asn’t agitated, that
pure soul
a m ale, we could say
but “m ale” spirit
blue-hued
n ot im potent
and n ot om n ipoten t
but close to G o d
the Suprem e purusa.
S u k ad e v a was ju st a young boy o f sixteen years

his body full grown
and beautiful w ith his
long locks o f black hair,
his strong but delicate limbs.
H e was n ot ju st a spirit o f air
or som eth in g dead or im personal
but liberated, beyond sex, flesh,
an d all that.
T h e ladies knew.
T h e y could see it.
But for his father,
dressed as a grhastha,
they dressed, asham ed.
H e was n ot a lesser man,
he was the literary incarnation.
It’s a lesson in life.
I aw ait GoyJ to visit me closer than H e has so far on this m oun

tain in British C olum bia. W aiting and loading logs on the fire.
“G o d is love.” H e will visit us. W alking on the road I ch anted

my ten th round o f japa, th en an eleven th and twelfth. I was
w aiting to feel som eth in g for those rounds, even conjectured
th at if I were a C h ristian , I would feel the sam e dryness. I d o n ’t
deserve m uch and th at’s the truth.
I get bored with superfice. D evotees will com e after lunch.
W ish I could go deep with them , but can I? W ant to pray to
K rsna in H is holy nam es, but can I? T h ere seem to be so m any
h in drances. I turn to the Sfim ad'Bhdgavatam and think o f this
book. I w rite my sum m ary in a routine way, th en field questions,
review, th en m ove on to this.
I d o n ’t w ant to be anywhere else
but I c a n ’t seem to go to K rsna either.
G ayatri is blank.
G a v e up som e o f the interpretations I had heard.
I ju st w ant Prabhupada now.
B ut I need to explore th at—
w hat I feel,
w hat I need.
Prabhupada, please help me!
B eautiful, young dam sels bath in g naked. N o m ore o f th at for

us, d ear reader. L e t’s get out o f this m aterial world and go back
to G o d h ead where there is no m ore illusion th at flesh in certain
shapes is m ore attractive th an flesh in oth er shapes, or th at
fon d lin g or squeezing flesh can bring happiness. I am so grateful
to h ave been freed by Srila Prabhupada o f all that. It has been
the greatest b oon o f my spiritual life. How strong Prabhupada
was on this p oin t, and how seem ingly out o f synch w ith the
tim es to say th at sex life is n ot pleasure but suffering. O n th at
on e coun t, Srila Prabhupada will n ot becom e widely accepted,
a t least n ot in this present world. It will take m ore drubbing by
M ayadevI through A ID S and oth er diseases before people com e
around to Prabh upada’s understanding out o f fear.
W e each h ave our work in life. S om etim es we d o n ’t feel like

doin g it, or we at least need to take a break, eat, and sit back. I
d o n ’t know w hat I had expected to h appen here at S aran agati.
A m I disappoin ted? S om etim es I catch m yself h avin g rom antic
ideas about solitude. I think, “D eep solitude is availab le at
S ara n ag a ti.” W ell, it’s probably true, but being alone is n ot the
sam e th in g as ach ievin g solitude. It takes h eart and depth and a
determ in ed search ing for G o d in the alon en ess before a solitary
life becom es solitude. O ften , solitude allow s us to h it a new vein
o f the rarest ores. Solitu de is a life. I face my inability to ach ieve
it at the end o f each day.
C h a n tin g gayatri. Trying to hear. O ur m inds m ove in the

sam e grooves often. We h an ker to do things differently, or at
least n ot to be so predictable, even to ourselves. T h a t’s the
am azing th in g about Prabhupada. H e m ain tain ed the sam e p h i
losophy but varied the angle o f his teach in g in subtle ways. He
is dear to K rsna, an d th at in itself con stitu tes his originality. He
is enth used, an d he enthused us.
O b eisan ces to Lord C aitan y a, who m ain tain s the universe
and the bhaktas. I m editate on Lord K rsna, who com es hom e in
the even in g with the cows. H e d oesn ’t live in this wintry c li
m ate but in beautiful V rn davan a. S till, I see the pink light o f
the settin g sun and think o f H im . H e plays w ith the gopis and
stuns their senses with H is cupid-like attraction. H e showers
them w ith arrows from H is bow. I offer m yself in gopi-bhava, in
som e future life; so we sannâsis pray.
W h en S u k a d e v a left
^ C0 hom e, h is father ran after
^V h im , c a llin g ou t, “My
s o n !” O n ly th e trees
uDS> ech oed their reply to the

aggrieved father.
Text 6
katham alaksitah pauraih

sampraptah kuru-jangalan
unm atta'm uka'jadavad
vicaran gaja-sahvaye
How was he [Srila Sukadeva, the son of Vyasa] recognized by

the citizens when he entered the city of Hastinapura [now
Delhi], after wandering in the provinces of Kuru and Jangala,
appearing like a madman, dumb and retarded?
Comment
In a previous verse, Sukadeva G o sv am i is described as “tran
scen den tal to m undane activities, but being unexposed, he
appeared like an ignorant person.” N ow S au n ak a R si asks for
more inform ation about Sukadeva. H e n ot only wishes to hear
the subjects o f the Bhagavatam and about V yasadeva’s inspiration
to write it, but about the Bhagavatam’s first speaker, Sukadeva
G o sv am i. T h u s we becom e aware o f Su k ad eva’s im portance and
we are drawn in to hear more about his life and character.
S au n ak a already knew th at S u kad eva had left his paternal
hom e an d was w andering like a m adm an. S rila Prabhupada
states th at a sage is n ot recognized by sight, but by hearing.
Prabhupada som etim es recalled th at his ow n spiritual master,
S rila B h aktisid dh an ta Sarasvati G o sv am i, used to say the sam e
thing: a sadhu is heard, n ot seen.
T h a t d o e sn ’t m ean, however, th at physical presence is n ot at
all im portant. S ee in g a sadhu is also purifying, and his presence
in a place is never inconsequential. Especially as the com m u ni
catio n s becom e increasingly tech n ological, there seem s to be no
need for people to m ake a physical appearance in order to
express som eth in g. Everything can be done by phone, video, or
e-m ail. S till, the personal touch will never be out o f vogue. Srila
Prabhupada took the tim e and trouble to physically travel all

over the world in order to sustain his devotees. H is personal
presence on the tem ple vyasasanas, on m orning walks, an d in
room co n versation s gave his disciples the courage to serve him .
Prabhupada w anted his disciples, especially his sannjiasis, to
contin u e the tradition o f door-to-door preaching, w hich was
exten d ed to m ean city-to-city and country-to-country. Because
we are em bodied, seeing the sadhu adds an oth er dim en sion to
our spiritual experien ce. T h a t was true o f Prabh upada’s disciples
an d o f the n on d evotees w hom Prabhupada’s disciples contacted.
T h is n ee d n ’t con trad ict the fact th at hearin g from the sadhu
is m ore im portan t th an seeing him . S ee in g usually leads to h ear
ing, an d it is often the begin n in g p o in t o f disciplesh ip.
Prabhupada taugh t us th at vani-seva was more im portant than
vapuh-seva. Physical presence is n ot always availab le; the sadhu’s
instructions are m ore enduring. W e can n o t expect th at a w an
dering preach er will always stay with us. H e has to m ove from
place to place on K rsna’s order. U ltim ately, he will leave the
m aterial world. T herefore, after seeing the sadhu and hearing his
words, we should fix our faith on his vani. H is words should
becom e as dear to us as the air we breathe. “H e lives forever by
his d ivin e instructions an d the follow er lives with h im .”
S u k ad ev a was qualified to discuss the high est transcendental
subjects because he was liberated from birth and had heard the
essence o f the Bhagavatam from his father, V yasadeva. S till, it’s
n ot th at he spoke on elevated topics anyw here or to any audi
ence. R ather, he kept his know ledge h idden from ordinary p e o
ple. In th is case, although ordinary people saw Su k ad eva G o
svam i, they d id n ’t becom e attracted to K rsna consciousness
because he kept h im self hidden.
W hy? Isn ’t it a sadhu s duty to encourage people to inquire
about spiritual life? T h ere are two basic m odes o f a sadhu's life.
O n e is to com e forward to preach, an d the oth er is to w ithdraw
from m aterial co n tact. S om etim es the sadhu operates in on e way
and som etim es in another. T h u s we h ave a d istin ction betw een

the active gosthyanandi preacher and the retired bhajananandi.
Prabhupada said th at the gosthyanandi was more advanced
because o f his com passion , but even a gosthyanandi will choose
h is tim e, place, and audien ce before offering the jew els o f his
K rsna con scious realization to others. S u kad eva G o sv am i is the
m ost em pow ered o f all Bhagavatam preachers. We can n ot accuse
h im o f bein g a bhajananandi or o f lacking com passion . Rather,
he was w aiting for the right audience before releasing his p oten t
m essage. Jesu s C h rist sim ilarly advised his disciples n ot to cast
pearls before sw ine lest they tram ple them .
A sadhu m ay also rem ain h idden from com m on people in
order to protect his ow n K rsna consciousness. T h is was true o f
Ja d a B h arata. T h e Vedas assure us th at we can n o t understand
the m in d o f a V aisn ava. T herefore, we can n ot judge Su k ad eva
G o sv a m i’s reasons for living as an avadhiita or consider th at it
w ould h ave been better for him to h ave been more social in his
behavior. W h atever his m ood, it was perfect. Furtherm ore,
w hen we h ear from Sukad eva, we will follow his instructions,
n ot im itate his behavior.
T h a t S u k ad ev a G o sv am i w ithheld inform ation from the
com m on people also indicates th at we ourselves have to becom e
qualified before we can receive tran scen den tal instruction. We
h ave to perform austerity and receive in itiation from a b o n a fide
spiritual m aster if we w ish to receive the con fidential m ercy o f
K rsna consciousness. Srila Prabhupada was a liberal preacher;
he held op en classes and publicly ch an ted H are K rsna and spoke
on the sastra. For those who w ished to becom e more serious and
to actu ally apply the process, however, he established require
m ents: four rules and sixteen rounds.
S u k ad e v a G o sv am i did n ’t satisfy the whim s o f the ordinary

people. I d o n ’t know why he chose to w ander as a m adm an. We
ask so m any questions, it seem s. W e d on ’t seem satisfied with all
the answ ers, either. W e d o n ’t always know how they fit into our
ow n lives in a p ractical way.
W e d o n ’t like to hear from m adm en, but w hat a sadhu says is

m ore im portan t th an the way he looks. W e th ink he should at
least look halfw ay decen t, n ot like a dirty bum. H e shouldn ’t be
too skinny, but n ot too fat either, an d if he has no teeth, he
should w ear dentures. If h e ’s lost his legs, give him crutches. H is
ears sh ouldn ’t be pointed. H e should be presentable. But th ere’s
a lim it to w hat we can do to spruce up a real sadhu.
O h , an d d o n ’t let the sadhu break our backs w ith his rhetoric.
H e should be interesting, m ove the topics along, keep us awake.
H e sh ould n ’t h ave a Brooklyn accen t but should h ave learned
his E n glish at college.
We are so hindered by superficialities. D o you see what I m ean?
A n d o f course, he shouldn’t change or adjust the philosophy.
Lord C a ita n y a was a super-preacher who attracted people n ot

only by H is words but by H is beautiful, golden form. H e was a
young sannyasi w ith a golden hue, an d w hen H e dan ced, every
on e was entranced. H e roared and san g and cried tears, and p e o
ple were sw ept away by krsna'prem a in H is presence.
A t the sam e tim e, ju st after the Lord took sannyasa, He
rem ained absorbed in ecstasy, unaw are o f the outside world. H e
w anted to go to V rn davan a, but ended up w andering around
B en gal for three days w hile fasting.
Som etim es pure devotees lose awareness o f the external situa
tion. A t other tim es they are com pletely aware o f the im pression
th at they are m aking and they create a presentable image. N ow
adays, the world thinks o f IS K C O N devotees as cultists, so we
have m ade it a poin t to try to show people that we are norm al,
that we know the latest slang expressions, th at we can dress nor
m ally if the occasion dem ands. W e d on ’t wear m ism atched socks
and beat-up shoes an d present a don ’t-give-a-dam n appearance.
A t the sam e tim e, we h ave integrity to be ourselves. I w ear a

saffron dhoti because it’s our tradition. Sik h s keep their turbans
w hether they are living in Pakistan or driving a taxi in
V ancouver. A R asta m an keeps his dreadlocks. A n d our words:
an avadhuta’s words com e from the heart. H e says w hat he
m eans, w hat he is. D evotees d on ’t have to satisfy p eople’s
ch an geable w him s even by the way we speak. R ather, we try to
reach ultim ate expression, to com m unicate som eth ing beyond
the in tellectual co n ten t and beyond norm al expression. I say
th at th at com es w hen w e’re n ot afraid to invite “ch aos” and to
flow w ith the p attern s th at em erge an d th at represent our d eep
est desires. T h o se pattern s lead to the cry o f the deepest self, the
un con sciou s self, the reality th at we all know is from a disor-
dered-ordered life.
Snow y wet snow

I walk. G o t
early sym ptom s o f a headach e
so I laid dow n. N ow
the virgin fresh m orning is running out,
but th ere’s still tim e
to shout or speak softly
why an avadhuta writer should write.
I was th in kin g again o f how S u kad eva rem ained unexposed

to others. T h a t m eans he d idn ’t display his advan ced con dition .
Foolish people thought him crazy. Did they disturb him , actu
ally? It seem s not. Later, w e’ll read how he stopped at the hom es
o f householders only long enough for a cow to be m ilked in the
m orn in g. T h e rest o f the day he stayed alone. A dm irers are
som etim es worse th an detractors. S u kad eva G o sv am i rem inds
me o f G au ra-kisora d asa B ab aji in th at regard.
I asked for an oth er Sh eaffer pen

and th ought how askin g for
more is greed, atyahara,
n ot laulyam.
If on e pen is
enough, why ask for two?
Is this M arch snow clouding my vision?
Sn o w in M arch— you can hardly
take it seriously.
T h e n I thought,
“ W hy n ot pray?”
But I d o n ’t know how.
Sh o u ld I ask som eon e? M adhu?
Brother Francis?
Jay ad v aita Sw am i?
So m eo n e else?
Prayer is n ot m ean t to be
a list o f petitions.
Pray only for causeless d evotion al service
in Lord C a ita n y a ’s m ood.
Som etim es d evotees w onder why we d o n ’t stay on the vyas-

asan a even w hen we’ve clim bed dow n from it.
I’ll tell you why.
You get sick o f it.
You aren ’t perfect.
You n eed to rest,
to play,
you did it for ten years and you w ant to do som eth in g more.
You are praying as you write.
A m onk c a n pray as he writes. M erton said th at one o f the
prim e benefits o f bein g a writer is th at you get to be alone, and
as you w rite you can pray. H e also spoke again st rushing into
print, alth ough now alm ost every word he wrote is being
printed. “W rite slowly,” said the cardboard advice on calligra
phy p en set. “ Practice slowly until you gain control. Q uality is
w hat co u n ts.” N o t speed but quiet rhythm.
I ju st w ant to fill up the m orning, th at’s all, so I can tell my
(in n er) boss
th at I wrote
free-wrote
on 1.4.6,
on avadhuta
an d a n aked young m an.
I’m dressed in a gray and w hite S can d in av ian snow flake
sweater, saffron sw eat pants, and fat booties. T h ere is n o end to
the d issim ilarities betw een m yself an d Su k ad eva G osvam i.
W h ite m an,
n ot tran scen d en talist
I am . . .
S o u n d s in the cabin:
A w inter fly buzzing.
W ater in pot on stove steam ing.
Log kn ocking in stove.
M y breath.
S o ft slash-hiss o f snow
outdoors.
O therw ise, it is silence— although I hear the blood in my ears.
Yeah, the m orning h as gotten late and I d o n ’t have (d o n ’t

w an t) a pean u t butter sandw ich wrapped in celloph an e by my
m om w ith ch eap “M arigold” ch ocolate cake for dessert. I used
to buy a carton o f m ilk and an ice cream to go w ith it. I d on ’t
w ant th at now. I’m no longer a high sch ool kid.
It’s a- late snow y m orning in M arch an d I’m reading Bhag-

avatam 1.4.6 where V yasa writes
th at S au n ak a said
th at we know S u k ad eva was like a m adm an w andering into
H astin apura. N ow he will m eet M ah araja Pariksit and speak,
addin g sw eetness to w hat he h as heard.
T h a t’s w hat I w ant to do, how

this is con nected.
C a ll it blues as
m orn in g gets late and I w ant
an accom plish m en t
to share w ith you.
T h e y ’re con n ected to the Bhagavatam ,

my words
th at sw eep away
icy snow from the boots on the rug
or th at see me through recovering
from an oth er headache.
I try to add the taste o f real life
ap p licatio n , life in the present
c o n te x t as I scratch
the surface.
I d o n ’t know why a writer is or is n ot an avadhuta. If he m isses

the m ark, he can try again. If som eone cooks and it d o e sn ’t
com e out, he can try again. If he asks a question th at doesn ’t
m ake sense, he can rephrase it. If som eth in g is wrong,
send it back.
S o writers too,
they open up feelings through expression. H astin apura in
an cien t days. W h o can im agine w hat th at was like?
It’s con n ected . T h e sages at N aim isaran ya d id n ’t ask Suka-

d eva why he was an avadhuta.
T h e y ju st said, “ Please,
this way.”
I usher in m y quiet
black ink to hear and to
fall like soft blood in
n atural control
o f life in the body—
atm a, prana—
snow fine and wet
in late m orning.
It is con nected.
Text 7
katharh va pandaveyasya
rajarser munina saha
samvadah samabhut tdta
yatrcusa satvati srutih
How did it so happen that King Pariksit met this great sage,
making it possible for this great transcendental essence of the
Vedas [Bhagavatam] to be sung to him?
Comment
Srim ad'Bhagavatam is satvati srutih, the essence o f the Vedas.
“ It is n ot an im aginary story,” Srila Prabhupada assures us. It is
also som etim es called sukah samhita, the hym ns spoken by
S u k a d e v a G o sv am i, the great, liberated sage.
I d o n ’t need to hear long logical argum ents why the Srimad-
Bhagavatam is n ot an im aginary story. T h e argum ents in the
Tattva Sandarbha start with the assum ption th at the V edic liter
ature is true, but in his discussion on logic, Jiv a G o sv am i asserts
the superiority o f apauruseya'sabda, h earing from perfect author
ities. W hile it’s good to h ave argum ents th at can satisfy agn os
tics, our accep tan ce o f the philosophy is based on our acce p
tan ce o f the purity o f our authorities. T herefore, I like these
short an d frequent assurances by Prabhupada and his refutation
o f atheism .
I also like Prabh upada’s sim ple exp lan ation th at we h ave
som eth in g better th an atheism . W e h ave this beautiful book,
the Srim ad'Bhagavatam . It has been accep ted by the past acaryas
as well as contem porary sages. Lord C aitan y a considered the
Bhagavatam spotless. A s we learn to live it, it will becom e more
tangible to us.
T an gible m eans the kind o f reality we can touch. T h e prob
lem is th at our sense perceptions seem so real. I am perceiving
this snow fall, and I certainly feel the cold draft on the floor and
the h eat rising from the stove. W hat could be m ore real than
the feelin g o f pain th at com es w hen you burn your h an d on an
iron stove? W h at could be more tangible th an a full stom ach ?
Yet our sense perception s are tem porary and illusory because
they d o n ot ap proach the life o f the real self th at lies w ithin. We
are n o t even aware th at it is that self w hom we are trying to
please through our accep tan ce and rejection o f the sense

im pressions th at barrage us day and night. T h e Upanisads state
at great len gth th at w hatever we enjoy is enjoyed by the self,
n ot the tongue, the genitals, the stom ach — or in the exten ded
sense, the wife, the family, the nation.
W hat, then, is the life o f the self? Is it som eth in g void? N o,
it’s personal, spiritual form, spiritual activity. W ho is the center
o f attractio n for the spiritual self? T h e Suprem e Self, Krsna.
In this verse, the sages are inquiring about the initial m eet
ing betw een S u k ad eva G o sv am i and M ah araja Pariksit. First
m eetin g stories are great favorites am ong devotees. T h a t’s b e
cause they are significant. S u k ad eva G o sv am i and M ah araja
Pariksit m et due to the influence o f K rsna. T h a t is the tran
scen den tal way by w hich great souls m eet. H ow else to explain
how the em peror o f the world could find a lonely spot on the
G a n g es to finish his last few days and could som ehow or oth er
m eet th at n aked sixteen-year-old m endicant? O bviously, it’s
K rsn a’s arrangem ent.
Sim ilarly, A bh ay C h aran , the young m anager o f a growing
ph arm aceutical com pany in C alcu tta, m et the pure devotee-
sch olar, S rila B h ak tisid d h an ta S ara sv a tl T h ak u ra, on the
G au d iy a M ath rooftop in C a lcu tta . S rila B h aktisiddh an ta
Sarasv atl T h ak u ra im m ediately asked the young m an to becom e
a d evotee o f Lord C aitan y a and to spread H is teach ings to the
W est. O ur S rila Prabhupada rem em bers th at m eeting and
describes it with relish, tasting again how he was defeated by his
spiritual m aster an d how he appreciated his power. “H e is w on
derful! N ow Lord C a ita n y a ’s m ovem ent is in expert h an d s.”
I also m et a great saintly person in the form o f Srila
Prabh upada sim ply because I saw taped to a storefront window
a sign th at said, “C lasses on B hagavad-gitd M onday, W ednesday,
an d Friday.”
U n lik e Prabhupada, I can ’t rem em ber m uch o f my first m eet
ing w ith my etern al guru. I was just too spaced out. G radually,
how ever, I cam e to know him an d love. him . I was ju st an

in sign ifican t N ew York C ity welfare worker, flotsam and jetsam
in the world o f karm a, a writer/ artist already feeling bu rn t out.
H ow could I h ave m et Prabhupada w ithout the Lord’s direct
in terven tion in my life? How else w ould I h ave h ad access to
those I S K C O N bullets th at saved my spiritual life, or have
tasted the strength o f service to the Sw am i? O n ly by K rsna’s
grace w as I able to part from those w ho d id n ’t care for G o d .
Everyone who h as m et S rila Prabhupada either directly or
through his devotees or books will appreciate w hat I am saying.
K rsna intervened n ot because we show ed so m uch eagerness for
spiritual life, but for H is ow n reasons in H is love for Prabhu
pada. Prabhupada w anted to spread the m essage o f K rsna co n
sciousness; we were given the opportunity to hear it. It is n ot an
im aginary story.
T h e snow has finally stopped after an all-day pow dering. I am

n ot afraid o f it; it is n ot w hite death. A s I said, it’s hard to take
snow seriously w hen it’s M arch. N ow w e’re w aiting for the mud.
T h e p on d will turn back to w ater and the brown pines will h ave
new green on them.
It’s alm ost too dark to write, but

I’ll turn on the light and try to
preserve the day before I slash
through it with a black marker.
M arch 7th gone,
M arch 8th yet to com e.
It’s gettin g dark but the snow reflects

w h atever light is in the sky
an d I can op en the curtains all n igh t
an d still get light from outside.
C a n I h old off the n ex t interruption?

W ell, it depen ds on who
it is. If it’s M adhu, and he has
n o im portan t task, and h e ’s kind
to artists, h e ’ll let me carry on.
If it’s Yam araja or som e oth er big shot,
th en I’ll h ave to look up, craven and say,
“Yeah, I am ju st w riting my trash,
“but can you tell m e how the em peror

and the p oet parrot— the two
o f th em — m et?”
Text 8
sa go'dohana-mdtram hi
grhesu grha-medhinam
aveksate maha-bhagas
tirthi'kurvams tad asram am
H e [S u k ad e v a G o sv a m i] w as accu sto m ed to stay at the door

o f a h ou se h o ld e r on ly long enough fo r a cow to be m ilked.
A n d he did th is ju s t to san ctify the residen ce.
Comment
S au n ak a R si asked how it happened that M ah araja Pariksit
m et Su k ad ev a G o sv am i, and he now acknow ledges th at it was
unlikely for the two to m eet since the renounced sage S u kadeva
was n ot accustom ed to m eet worldly kings or fam ily men.
A vo id in g m aterialists is a principle o f renunciation, an d Lord
C a itan y a also exem plified this principle in H is reluctance to
m eet M ah araja Prataparudra. D espite hearing that the king was
a great d evotee, Lord C aitan y a covered H is ears with H is hands
w hen a m eeting was suggested. “W hy are you requesting such an
undesirable th in g from M e? S in ce I am in the renounced order,

it is as dangerous for M e to m eet a king as to m eet a w om an.
T h e y are b o th ju st like drinking p oiso n .” (C c . M adhya 11.6-7)
S rila Prabhupada did n ot em phasize this aspect o f renu ncia
tion for his preachers. R ather, he w anted his renounced p reach
ers to m eet w orldly-m inded people in order to give them K rsna
con sciousn ess. T h is is n ot a co n tradiction , however, o f Suka-
deva G o sv a m l’s m ood. Su k ad eva G o sv am i w ould stand at a
h ou seh older’s door long enough for the householder to m ilk a
cow. H e w ould th en accep t som e o f th at m ilk as alm s after
enligh ten in g the householder about the goal o f life. H is purpose
was n ot to fill his belly, but to preach. S u k ad eva didn ’t rem ain
at a grhastha’s place longer th an necessary, and he certainly did
n ot enjoy th e luxuriant eatin g and sleeping that m ay h ave been
availab le there. Srila Prabhupada w arns in The N ectar o f In-
struction: “ If we accep t the in vitation o f a rich m an with the idea
o f receivin g palatab le food, we are also trying to satisfy the
dem an ds o f the tongue. In Caitanya'Caritam rta (Antya 6 .2 2 7 ) it
is stated: ‘T h a t person who runs here and there seeking to g rat
ify his p alate and is always attach ed to the desires o f his stom ach
and gen itals is unable to ob tain K rsna.’” (N O I, T ext 1, purport)
S rila Jag ad an an d a Pandita also teach es us to avoid worldly
persons an d especially their h abits in his Prema-vivarta. H is
words are m em orable:
My dear brother, you are in the renounced order of life and

should not listen to talk about ordinary worldly things, nor
should you talk about worldly things when you meet with others.
Do not think of women even in dreams. You have accepted
the renounced order o f life with a vow that forbids you to asso
ciate with women. If you wish to associate with Caitanya Maha-
prabhu, you must always remember the incident of C h ota
H aridasa and how he was rejected by the Lord. Do not eat luxu
rious dishes or dress in fine garments, but always remain humble
and serve T heir Lordships Sri Sri R adha and Krsna in your heart
o f hearts.
W hen Lord C aitan y a refused to m eet K ing Prataparudra, He

quoted this verse from Sri Caitanya'Candra'daya Nataka: “A las, for
a person who is seriously desiring to cross the m aterial ocean and
engage in the transcendental loving service o f the Lord without
m aterial m otives, seeing a m aterialist engaged in sense gratifica
tion and seeing a w om an who is similarly interested is more
abom inable th an drinking poison willingly.” (C c. Madhya 11.8)
In 1972, w hen S rila Prabhupada awarded sannyasa to four o f
h is young disciples, we asked him , “ Is there any special instruc
tion for sannyasisV’ H e said th at in the course o f our traveling
an d p reach in g we m igh t m eet householders and n otice the
beauty o f th eir w ives or the opulence o f their hom es. In neither
case should we becom e attracted to these things or resent th at
we had renoun ced them . T oo m uch association with h ou se
holders can therefore be dangerous to a renunciate because it
m ay reaw aken his desire for sense gratification.
W e sh ouldn ’t th ink after hearin g this that Prabhupada was
preach in g again st householder devotees. Prabhupada said that
th ose w ho fin an cially support the activities o f the K rsna co n
sciousness m ovem en t are doin g as m uch worthy service as the
brahmacari preachers. O n e should n ot feel inferior or superior
o n the basis o f asrama. Rather, all devotees are m ean t to p rac
tice ren u n ciation an d to protect them selves again st association
w ith m aterialists.
E ach asrama h as its ow n duty. H ere the preacher is w arned
n o t to b ecom e too depen den t on the householder and to
ap p roach him w ith a pure heart. T h e preacher should n ot try to
greedily “ m ilk” the householder or exp loit his piety. T h a t is, he
should n ot ap proach the householder to h ave his sense gratifi
ca tio n fulfilled. T h e pious householder will appreciate an actu
ally renoun ced sannyasi.
In I S K C O N , we h ave had to learn this point. Prabhupada
d id n ’t w ant devotees in different asramas to avoid associatin g
w ith on e another, but he w anted them to learn how to associ
ate properly. In his childh ood, Prabhupada saw his fath er invite
sadhus to his hom e. A lth o u gh his father was n ot wealthy, he
w ould invite at least four guests daily for m eals. U n less the
householder feeds others, he is n ot living in the grhastha'dsrama
and is con sidered a m aterialist.
A s a sannyasi w ants to stay free o f sense gratification, so does
the grhastha. A grhastha’s austerity is to follow the rules and reg
ulation s o f his asram a and to always preserve the sanctity o f his
sadhana. A lth o u g h he m ay h ave to work for his incom e in a
m aterialistic w orkplace an d tend to fam ily m atters, he is always
con scien tiou s about his w orship o f the D eity and his daily
ch an tin g an d reading. H e also uses the fruits o f his occupation
in K rsn a’s service. H e does n ot n eglect the opportunity to serve
the V aisn avas and especially to inquire from them about spiri
tual life. W h en such exch an ges betw een asram as are pure and
regulated, all d evotees, regardless o f their asram as, feel the h a p
piness o f belon gin g to a spiritual family. By each o f us follow ing
the rules set ou t for our ow n asram a, and by properly associatin g
betw een the asram as, we will find ourselves becom in g free o f
envy, arrogance, and the desire to exp loit others.
It appears from these verses that the sages, headed by S a u
naka, were already know ledgeable about the topics upon w hich
they asked S u ta G o sv am i to speak. Sau n ak a him self gives infor
m ation about S u kad eva G o sv a m i’s life. H e seem s to know him
intim ately, and V yasadeva too, and o f their activities. Still, he
an d the sages h ave hum bly inquired with a sincere and eager
desire to hear. T h is is the ideal K rsna conscious attitude. We
w ant to always be churning the nectar o f krsM 'katha. T h e fact
th at we h ave read Bhagavad-gita or Srimad'Bhagavatam will m ake
us more likely to inquire further. H earing itself creates the desire
to hear, and one who studies the Bhagavatam will find him self
w anting to clear doubts, understand better, and simply hear
again the sw eetness o f the pastim es o f the Lord and H is devotees.
T herefore he looks for an opportunity to place his inquiries
before a qualified sadhu and together they increase the w aves o f

u n derstandin g and p articipation in the Bhagavatam life.
A d evotee recently told me o f a dream he had. H e dream t

th at Prabhupada was on a chariot th at was being pulled by one
o f his disciples from 1966. Prabhupada was pacin g back and
forth on the chariot, using up a lot o f energy. T h e n he said to
the dream er, “W e will very soon lose all our bodily stren gth .”
T h e n Prabhupada disappeared. I told the dream er th at Prabhu
pada was speaking the truth; tim e is short and our life duration
is dw indling by the m om ent. We should use everything in
K rsn a’s service.
T h a t’s a tall order. H ere I am , explain in g how a sannyas'i
should relate to a householder. A s V yasadeva’s representative
seated on the vyasasana, I try to be honest. W ho w ants to be a
hypocrite? O n som e points in the speech, however, I feel I am
crossing my fingers or knocking on wood. I hope I’m not a hyp-
ocrite, but feel I may be squeaking by every now and then. D o I
accep t too m any am enities from householders? D o I dem and
from them or con descend toward them ? D o I th ink the world
owes m e a living? I’m not such a renounced person.
T h e sam e dream er related to m e th at he w anted to build an
asram a at G o v ard h an a H ill for som e sadhus he m et there. H e
said I could stay there and it could becom e “ m ine” for a writing
retreat. It all sounded en tanglin g and I thanked him but d e
clined. I d o n ’t w ant to becom e the ow ner o f real estate in
V rn d avan a. T h a t’s my advice to myself. Yet I accep t all the pens
an d colored pencils I can get. I am even writing notes to a m an
an d his wife w ho are cookin g for me: “ I like your buckw heat
m uffins, but yesterday they were served as the sweet. I prefer to
eat the m uffins w ith the vegetables. Serve it one day instead o f
capatis. But as a sweet, it is too p lain .” Is that the way for a sadhu
to w rite?
Oh.
M any o f us h ave split personalities. O n e person summarizes
the scripture an d the oth er says, “W h at’s for lunch?” W hy not
one seam less person doin g everything?
A ctually, our lives (th ose o f us w ith split personalities) are
filled w ith serious talk n o m atter w hich m outh is doin g the talk
ing. A grhastha asked m e how he could con cen trate since his life
is so full o f dem ands. T h e sadhu in m e responded. T h e n the
sadhu turned to h im self and asked, “H ow can I avoid abusing the
privileges o f my asram a?”
0 Lord, O energy o f the Lord, the one service we all h ave in
co m m o n is ch an tin g the holy nam e.
C h a n t in the m orning and pay atten tion .
T h a t dream o f Prabhupada on the ch ariot—

1 usually think, “O h , here we go again, som eone is
claim in g th at he dream s o f Prabhupada and is
m aking a big deal o f it.”
But I listen ed too. I d id n ’t w ant to m iss the chance.
I d o n ’t w ant to be plunged into the miseries

an d tortures o f the m aterial body and the m aterial world.
I could write about th at sort o f thing,
an d disturb p eop le’s m inds w ith V ietnam
war survivors’ m em ories, even H olocau st
m em ories or B osn ia or rape in H arlem and
at suburban college dorm s.
H ard-core maya.
I am a lo o f from all th at in this cabin

in the hills. 1 need no locks on my door.
T h e only people who com e are here to serve,
ex c ep t for the dog w ho cam e (I was glad he w asn’t a bear).
I should use this tim e to serve the V aisnavas

and all people
by spreading the glories o f the Lord and
the spiritual world V aikuntha.
Prabhupada d id n ’t dwell on the tortures

in th is world, although he saw stacks
o f bodies from the H indu-M uslim riots and
heard W orld W ar stories w hen he ran the pharm acy store.
H e said these are all features o f the dangerous
m aya and we should get out o f this world.
H e d id n ’t dwell on the horrors o f the

slaughterhouse where cows are m utilated an d killed.
H e said, “W e do n ot wish to talk o f such th in gs.”
H e spoke m ore o f facts: we are
souls and souls can n ot be violated.
T h is is im portant. N o m atter w hat they do,

they can n o t kill, cut, burn, an n ih ilate the
soul. T h is life is m ean t for im proving ourselves
for the n ex t life. Best to hear about
K rsna and becom e free o f sam sara.
K rsna protects H is devotees.

W h en one serves M urari, the dangerous
ocean o f m aya shrinks to the size o f the hole
a c a lf m akes with its foot.
R em em ber K rsna
through your token karm a
an d d o n ’t resent the Lord’s mercy.
“Your will. Your holy nam e. Please
forgive me and deliver me from n escien ce.”
Text 9
abhim anyusutarh suta

prahur bhagavatottamam
tasya janm a mahdscaryam
karmani ca gmihi nah
It is said that M aharaja Pariksit is a great first-class devotee

of the Lord and that his birth and activities are all wonderful.
Please tell us about him.
Comment
N ow we are introduced to M ah araja Pariksit, who is on e o f
the key persons in the telling o f the Bhagavatam. H e is a maha-
bhagavata, and his activities are mahd-ascaryam, exception ally
wonderful. H is birth is especially wonderful, an d h is life a ctiv i
ties, an d now his death.
T h e word “w onderful” is barely adequate. It is som eth ing
u n excelled , am azing, beyond the scope o f any living being
excep t a mahd'bhdgavata.
Later, we will h ear how M ah araja Pariksit was protected by
K rsna in the w om b. A lth o u gh A sv atth am a threw a brahmastra
to kill him , K rsna protected him by enterin g the w om b and
refreshing his w ithered body. A t th at tim e, baby Pariksit saw the
L o rd ’s beautiful features as H e circled about dispellin g the
w eapon ’s radiation.
P ariksit’s d eath is w onderful because he received a seven-day
n otice. H e th en ceased all outw ard activities, renounced his
kingdom , and “during all the days he h eard Bhagavatam , he did
n ot take food or drink, nor did he sleep a m om ent.”
Prabh upada poin ts ou t M ah araja Pariksit’s staun ch defense o f
the bull an d the cow who were bein g persecuted by Kali.
N ow adays, it w ould be am azing for a govern or to personally
draw his sword to stop a person w ho dared slaugh ter a cow.
A lth o u g h S au n ak a R si and the sages knew som eth ing about

M ah araja P ariksit’s praisew orthy activities, they desired to hear
about them in detail and w ith S u ta G o sv a m i’s realizations.
T h e audience at N aim isaranya was com pletely attentive. T h e
sages were not static or bored, but lively and spontaneous in their
inquiries and appreciation. T h eir m ood is attractive and inspires
us to approach the Bhagavatam with the sam e spontaneity.
D evotees in the K rsna consciousness m ovem ent acknow l
edge the preem inent place o f the Bhagavatam both because o f
the pram anas offered in the Bhagavatam itself and because Srila
Prabhupada m ade it his life’s opus. A t the sam e tim e, m any
devotees feel they h ave too m any things to do to find the tim e
to study it on a regular basis. It’s true th at we can n o t im itate
M ah araja Pariksit and give up all duties in order to hear, but
Prabhupada w ants us to spare tim e daily to hear the Bhagavatam
for at least an hour. T h e m orning hours are the best tim e to
practice sadhana. By sanctifying the m ind w ith ch an tin g and
D eity w orship w ithin the society o f devotees, we will have the
best opportunity to hear the Bhagavatam undisturbed.
T h e special potency o f h earing the Bhagavatam in the society
o f d evotees is described as follows: “ In the association o f pure
devotees, discussion o f the pastim es and activities o f the S u
prem e Personality o f G o d h ead is very pleasing and satisfying to
the ear and the heart. By cu ltivatin g such know ledge one grad
ually becom es advan ced on the path o f liberation, an d th ere
after he is freed, and his attraction becom es fixed. T h e n real
d evotio n and devotional service begin .” (Bhag.l 3 .2 5 .2 5 )
M ah araja Pariksit is a maha-bhagavata. We can n o t expect to
attain his level o f realization. Even w ithin his life his last days
were extraordinary because he spen t them fasting from food and
sleep. But we m ay con tin u e our bodily m aintenan ce and still
rem ain atten tive to the Srim ad'Bhagavatam if we live lives d ed
icated to the Bhagavatam ’s teachings.
W e should appreciate from this verse th at the sages w anted

to hear about M ah araja Pariksit from an authorized source. We
too w ant to hear about the great souls described in the Bhdg-
avatam , an d we too should w ant to hear o f them from an au th o
rized source. T h a t is also true o f our desire to know Prabhupada.
Prabh upada is undoubtedly a “great, first-class devotee o f the
L ord,” fulfilling the prophecy th at the holy nam e w ould be
ch an ted in every tow n and village. B h aktivin oda T b ak u ra
desired th at people from all over the world could jo in w ith their
B en gali brothers to ch an t “Ja y a S ac ln a n d a n a ” . T h is dream cam e
true due to Prabh upada’s em pow ered preaching.
T herefore, his follow ers inquire about his life and teachings
and praise his ach ievem en ts. People around the world who
overh ear these exch an ges may also becom e benefited. M any o f
us h ave already heard about S rila Prabh upada’s life, but “desire
is expressed herein to hear about him in d etail.” H earing more
about the maha-bhagavata will help us overcom e lethargy and
w orldliness, an d it will deliver us further into spiritual bliss. Let
us turn again and again to the n arrations o f the great saints who
touch ed our lives and the lives o f all W estern devotees.
M ah araja Pariksit received a seven-day notice o f his death.
A lth o u gh m aterially this may seem a great tragedy for the young
king, spiritually it was an advan tage. Prabhupada writes th at we
are at a disad van tage com pared to M ah araja Pariksit because we
d o n ot know at w hat m om ent we will die.
. . . We do not know whether we will live again seven minutes.

A ny m om ent your heart can failure. You do not know. You are
going to the street . . . Just like the two boys who were coming.
T hey did not know that they were going to be killed . . .
. . . I do not know whether we’ll have, 1 have opportunity for
reading Srimad'Bhagavatam for seven minutes. S o let me read it
very seriously. . . . N o t that, " . . . O h, Pariksit M aharaja was
given seven days’ notice. O h, 1 have no such notice. 1 may live
for seven m illions of years.” T h at is our disease.
— Lecture, June 23, 1972
S om etim es devotees fantasize about death. We im agine our

selves heroically ch an tin g through the pain and letting go o f all
m aterial desires. Som eh ow in that scenario, we always h ave
tim e to com pose ourselves. It may n ot be like that. T herefore,
we should live both in the present and prepare for death by per-
form ing active devotion al service. T h is includes regularly h ear
ing the Bhagavatam.
S rila Prabhupada has given us a K rsna con sciousness m ove
m en t in w hich to engage ourselves w hile we are alive, and he
has encouraged us to take spiritual nourishm ent so th at we will
be equipped w ith the necessary d etach m en t w hen death com es.
W h a t’s goin g on here? T h ey w ant to know how S u kadeva

m et the king. Did he go to the cow shed an d wait, standing
there silently, or did he ask the householder, “ M ay I h ave som e
m ilk?” C a n you draw a picture o f that?
T h e stove here overh eats this room . T h e n as I let the fire die
dow n, it gets cold in here. T h a t’s w hat sim ple living is about. It
m eans recognizing austerity. For devotees, they h ave to be liv
ing th at austerity for a reason. People who are proponents o f
sim ple livin g say th at we should see ordinary chores as m edita
tion s on G o d . C h o p w ood w hen you chop w ood; be mindful.- If
a d evotee d oesn ’t engage in his sim ple life activities as K rsna
con scious m editation , he will feel like he is w asting his tim e
The Appearance / Sri Narada 177
because ju st to get through basic m ain ten an ce takes so m uch

tim e. I h ave n ot con d ition ed m yself to see bodily m ainten ance
as holy because I am accustom ed to the m odern am en ities that
save me tim e so th at I can do my real service o f writing. It
occurred to me, however, th at in form er tim es, m onks living in
m onasteries w ould work and go through their group liturgies all
day an d usually h ave only a few hours to th em selves at night. I
say I w ant m ore tim e, to save tim e to ch an t H are K rsna. T h e
two ideas are n ot really opposed, and neither one is exactly right
or wrong. It’s n ot w rong, I m ean, to free yourself from chores in
order to do oth er service. A t the sam e tim e, it’s n ot wrong to do
those chores as service.
Som etim es I feel I c a n ’t push m yself too m uch. S till, I w ant
to see m ore K rsna con sciousn ess and to w itness how the m ind
flows an d ebbs and swells and proves our them e th at we can all
live a Bhagavatam life even w hen we are n ot actually reading the
Srimad-Bhagavatam.
I seek the satisfaction o f no-planned architecture in the
flight o f a bird an d its routine song, and fate, although m an can
do som eth in g on his own.
I rem em ber S u k ad ev a and S u ta and S au n ak a and Vyasa. A ll
were d evotees o f the Suprem e Personality o f G o d h ead , who
open ed H is m outh out o f fear o f H is m other w hen she insisted
th at H e h ad eaten dirt.
I believe in G o d the Father
A lm igh ty w ho killed Putana
w hen H e was 3 m on th s old.
A n d I believe in H is son Brahm a
and his sons the K um aras and in Jesus
C h rist, called “H is only son, our
Lord.” I d o n ’t believe Jesus was
the only offspring d evotee o f G od .
I believe in the resurrection o f the soul
life after life, transm igration.
N o t believe, it’s fact, said our

spiritual master.
I believe in his presen tation
o f V edic fact
an d th a t’s that.
T h e sannyasi at this door begs for more th an m ilk. H e thinks

the world owes him a living. A sk if h e ’ll be w illing to give a two-
hour lecture if we give him a pin t o f m ilk. H e eats and thinks,
“O h , this cookin g is ju st as a brahmacari w ould do, W estern style
w ith no good season in gs.” W hy isn’t he satisfied with w hat they
give? T h ere is the Caitanya-caritdmrta accoun t th at Lord C a i
tanya d id n ’t w ant to eat so m uch, but Lord N ity an an d a said, “ I
fasted for three days, and today I also h ave to fast because You
give M e so little to e a t”— to A d v a ita A carya— and H e and
A d v a ita A cary a got into a m ock argum ent and threw rice at
each other.
T h is did n ot go on in the days o f S u k ad eva G o sv am i. H e
practiced austerity and told his fellow renunciates to accept the
alm s th at nature provides— the cave residence, the river water
to drink, the arm s for a pillow. T h e n they w ouldn’t h ave to flat
ter householders just to get their m ain ten an ce. It would protect
their integrity as renunciates. But it’s n ot only about austerity.
R em em ber w hen I asked Prabhupada on a w alk in Tokyo about
th at? H e said th at m onkeys h ave these austerities too. T h ey live
in trees w ithout a perm an en t hom e and sleep with their head on
their arms, as d o som e hippies. A usterity is n ot the point; it
m ust be linked to K rsna consciousness.
K rsna con sciousn ess needs to be con cen trated in our veins
an d brain. D o n ’t dilute it, brother. I know th at Dr. Bronner’s
soap bottle says, “ D ilute! D ilute! O k a y !” but d o n ’t dilute Krsna
con sciousn ess. D o n ’t ch an t “Mr. Jo h n ” or som e oth er W estern
expression . A n d especially as old age sets in, d o n ’t do anything
to com prom ise.
G iv e alm s, householder, give alm s. If you can find a worthy

sannyasi, th en you’ll benefit from the exchan ge as he gives you
K rsna. K rsna will see you serving a V aisn ava and will reward
you. T h e sann;ydsi is a ch ild in the varnasram a system . You are
h is parent. Like a child, a sannyasi should accept w hatever he is
offered an d n ot m ake dem an ds to fulfill his sense desires. (For
exam ple, he sh ouldn ’t dem an d G o o d K n igh t m osquito m ats for
h is room w hen he is in In dia.) A lth o u gh there are stories about
guests who dem anded the h o st’s wife and the h ost obliged, m ost
stories tell o f the m oral purity o f the sannâsis. Srila Prabhu-
p ad a’s exam ple was th at he w ould n ot accept food from som e
one w ho was n ot a devotee o f K rsna, and he would also give
K rsna con sciousn ess in return. H e would also use the facility
householders provided to co n d uct K rsna consciousness.
“ D o you w ant to go back to G o d h ead ?” T h a t’s the classical

question asked by devotees, an d it’s quite personal. W e’ll all say
yes, but som e o f us feel feeble or distracted. We have little
laulyam. T h a t’s why the sastra says th at laulyam can take life
tim es to develop. Look at us, and we h ave m et the topm ost
devotee an d heard from him . We even borrow his phrases. But
not his laulyam.
H ere we are folks, in rural British C olu m bia, and everything

is just w hat we had hoped for. It even snowed, although it’s
M arch. Ju st as we were clim bing the hill to the cabin where we
will stay, we saw a devotee we knew. We walked up to the cabin,
exch an ged a few words while my assistants and I unpacked, and
then I settled in. T h e n I h ave staked out my trail to the outhouse
and set m yself a schedule. D ifferent devotees are cooking for us,
M adhu is getting stronger, and he and I are friends.
But— now I’m goin g t o 'S a y th at som eth in g’s n ot h appen in g
th at I th ought would h appen — I’m w orking slower th an I
th ought I would. I’m n ot ch urn in g out the Bhagavatam verses
and accom pan yin g free-writes. I h ave had to accept the new
pace. It’s probably the atm osphere up here in the m ountains. O r
m aybe it’s th at I h ave to spend so m uch tim e taking care o f the
w ood stove and carrying and h eatin g water. T h e re ’s no electric
ity here, an d no running water. M aybe it’s also my headaches.
O r m aybe it’s ju st the rhythm and spirit o f the work.
A t least I’m happy to express w hat I can in the tim e I have
available. To express Krsna consciousness from am id these
m ountain pines, in this cabin nestled like an anim al in its lair.
I’m hungry an d restless and wander around curious to look under
rocks and beh in d trees, and especially behind my own m ind and
heart. I am n ot a pure devotee yet. W hy not? K eep foraging.
So m etim es you c a n ’t tell the difference betw een m ist and
sky in these m ountains. It looks like the softness o f a C h in ese
pain tin g o f pines and m ountains and a w hite path leading
into now here.
A strologers predicted that Pariksit M aharaja would be as pow

erful as Indra. H e was the last surviving Kuru and a great devotee.
T h e B B T painters depict him with a m ustache. H e was real, prac
ticing courage and penance in his last seven days on earth.
“T h is is our disease,” S rila Prabhupada said, “th at we are not
like M ah araja Pariksit, know ing d eath is com ing and doing
n oth in g excep t h earin g.” T h ey say B h ism a also heard krsna-

katha at the end o f his life and then spoke words o f com fort to
M ah araja Yudhisthira w hile K rsna and the sages gathered to
hear. W h en Pariksit was dying, however, there was n o need to
teach dharma. R ather, Su k ad eva discussed the m ost essen tial
topics; Pariksit had no oth er duty but to sit there and develop
pure love o f G o d through his atten tive listening.
Life is short for us too. T h e re ’s no p oin t in dw elling on the
in tricacies o f our ow n m inds. T h e British C o lu m b ia pines were
here before I cam e and will be here w hen I leave, but even they
will h ave to let go w ith their roots an d slide dow n the hillside.
T h e hill will also h ave to go one day. In the end, w hen Lord
S arikarsan a breath es fire, there will be no rain to quen ch the
flam es. T h e n we will all be gone in a puff o f sm oke and dust. It
d oesn ’t really m atter how death com es to this body; the body
belon gs to the m aterial o f nature an d m aterial nature will
arrange to reclaim it. R eal life is the soul.
S o we say. B ut life seem s filled w ith trivialities. W e are in v et
erate new s reporters, n ot ju st m e with my pen, but all o f us.
You know, it’s cold here, so they put the w ater tan k on the
ro o f o f the cabin . T h e n it froze. W hen we got the h eat going,
the pipes burst. N ow they figure the cold sn ap is over, so they
are repairing the system . It seem s over too because the snow is
m elting, slush . . .
O u r m inds are filled w ith such details. W h en we flew to
Vancouver, I th ought it im portant th at I experien ce the little
things alo n g the way. A re they really th at precious? S o o n I will
fly east again an d again w onder w hether I should be capturing
m ore o f the m om ent w hen I h onor the prasadam from the flasks
and tiffins the d evotees will p ack for us, w hether I should feel
m ore the ease or difficulty o f the little border adventures or
app reciate w hat I see from the plane. Is it im portant or isn’t it?
If we could — I know we ca n ’t, but let’s pretend th at we could for
a m om ent— th ink an d talk only about Su k ad eva G o sv am i and
M ah araja Pariksit and Lord Krsna, w ouldn’t th at be superior?

D o we th ink our lives m ake a better story th an w h at’s going on
in the Bhagavatam ? T h e Bhagavatam con tain s 18,000 verses. O n
the h igher plan ets, the Bhagavatam has m illions o f verses. It’s
ju st th at we live in such a m inute part o f the universe as such
m inute creatures with such m inute hearts. How to co n tain it all
in K rsna consciousness?
W e’re spiritually poor. W e indulge in the last stage o f our
lives, or at least I do. I say, “ I use the details to fatten m yself up,
to learn the art o f im provising.” I believe him too, but it’s sm all
stuff com pared to the greatness o f Pariksit and Sukadeva.
T h erefore, I am a genuinely poor m an, and my poor m an ’s
petition in prayer is to please allow me to ch an t better. T h a t
prayer tends to surpass absorption in w hat we h ave been calling
the trivial details. A ctually, they support the genuine cry.
“Please let me serve. I depend on You for everything spiritual
and m aterial. Please let me hear, O Lord, w hat You w ant me to
d o .” M erton says th at prayer is sacred and th at G o d ’s care for the
saintly person is a secret betw een them . You c a n ’t write too
m uch about th at inner side o f life. You’re left, then, with the
outer part— the details and the expressed cry. Scripture gives
the balan ce.
Text 10
sa samrat kasya va hetoh
pandunarh m ana-vardhanah
prayopavisto gangayam
anadrtyadhirat'Sriyam
He was a great emperor and possessed all the opulences of his

acquired kingdom. He was so exalted that he was increasing the
prestige of the Pandu dynasty. Why did he give up everything
to sit down on the bank of the Ganges and fast until death?
Comment
S au n ak a R si tells more details o f M ah araja Pariksit’s life up
to the p oin t where he renounced his kingdom . It’s no surprise
th at a learned person should know so m uch about the em peror
o f the world, especially the deeper m eanings— w h at’s behind
the news reports. N ew spaper reports never get to the root o f
anyth in g, even w hen they m ake a so-called in-depth analysis.
T h e Srimad-Bhagavatam may som etim es tell o f the sam e
even ts covered in oth er books on world history, but we know for
certain th at w hen we hear som ething from the Bhagavatam , we
are gettin g the substance and the tran scen dental connection .
W h atever S u kad eva says will be centered on Krsna; his version
will exp lain w hatever there is to be known.
O n ce, som e o f Prabhupada’s scien tist-devotees asked Prabhu
pada if there was a con trad iction betw een S u k ad ev a’s version
and the version o f the m aterial scien tists co n cern in g the struc
ture of the universe. Prabhupada replied that there m ight be
som e difference, but by listening to S u kadeva G o sv am i we
would becom e liberated and go back to G o d h ead , and th at is
the real p oin t o f knowledge.
T h e details of the Kuruksetra war were know n to all people
living at th at tim e, and perhaps they were even available to be
read in different w ritten accounts, but only those who heard
from K rsna in the Bhagavad-gita could understand H is in v olve
m en t in it and his identity as the Suprem e Personality o f G o d
head. Lord K rsna says that if som eone hears from H im , he will
learn everything noum enal and ph en om en al and there will be
n oth in g left to be known.
M ah araja Pariksit was not an ordinary person who m ight retire
from household life with no effect on society. A hint o f his ines
tim able greatness is given in this brief description by Sau n aka Rsi.
M ah araja Pariksit received the rule o f the whole world as an
inheritance from his grandfathers, M aharaja Yudhisthira and
A rjun a. Furthermore, he was doing well in the adm inistration of
the kingdom . T herefore, it is especially shocking to h ear th at

he h ad renoun ced his duties and gone to sit by the ban k o f
the G an ges.
In this culture, we usually rejoice w hen a politician retires.
H e d id n ’t fulfill his prom ises or lead the citizens in a way th at
h ad any real benefit anyway. W e hope h e’ll do better as a sim
ple citizen. A t least he w on’t be able to exploit the rest o f the
popu lation . It was entirely different w hen M ah araja Pariksit d e
cided to resign. W h en you h ave a mahd'bhagavata as king, som e
one com in g in the royal line from the Pandavas who is staving
o ff th e ill effects o f Kali-yuga, his leaving is extrem ely inauspi
cious. You can im agine how bew ildering the news m ust have
been for his subjects. “T h is is astonishing, and therefore all were
eager to know the cau se.”
W e w ant to read the historical accoun ts in the Bhagavatam
w ith faith in our sam pradaya’s conclusion. O f course, n on d evo
tees d o n ’t see it th at way. How can they believe th at the world
was once ruled by one king, and th at som e em perors, such as
B ali M ah araja, even ruled the heavenly planets? A ll we can
offer is th at the n on devotee learn to understand know ledge by
the sam e process we ourselves employ. We too were once n o n
devotees adhering to the m ethods o f em pirical speculation . We
accep ted only recent histories as accurate and did n ot accept
scripture as offering a viable account. Gradually, by h earing
from the spiritual m aster, we cam e to expand our understanding.
N ow we m ay offer to the n ondevotees the sam e process o f sabda-
brahma, hearin g from scripture, as the flaw less m ethod o f attain
ing spiritual and m aterial knowledge.
T h a t scriptural accoun ts do n ot always conform to em pirical
study is n ot a reason to reject scripture. H istories kept by the
em piricists are filled w ith m istakes, con tradictions, and om is
sions. O u r co n dition in g forces us to overlook those discrepan
cies, how ever, because we have been trained to accept w hat we
see in prin t as truth. N o t only w hat we see in print, but esp e

cially w hat has been w ritten by the W estern specu lators.*
Besides the actu al h istorical facts, the basic truth taught in
the Vedas is obvious: n ation s are splintering and the world is
being torn apart by war an d corrupt adm inistrations. A ll o f this
is an in d ication o f the degradation predicted for the age o f Kali.
We can n o t im agine the pow er o f a king like M ah araja
Pariksit. H e was so wise th at he could rule the entire world.
W ho can im agine the size o f govern m en t required to control
the world p opu lation , or the m ilitary strength? T h e power of
such kings was based on their d evotio n to G o d and to brah-
m in ical culture, an d the strength o f their devotion included the
pow er to renounce everything.
T h e m ore we consider M ah araja Pariksit’s stature, the more
d istan t a figure he seem s to becom e according to our present
experien ce. H e is a super-person, alm ost a dem igod. T h in k in g of
h im m akes me feel my own tininess. I feel honored to hear his
inquiries in the Bhagavatam and to sit with him and hear from
Su kad eva. A lth o u g h I am n ot worthy to associate with him ,
w hen I read the Bhagavatam I enter an intim ate relationship
w ith him an d all oth er Bhagavatam personalities. By his mercy
and association , I too will learn how to cross over all obstacles
including death.
S au n ak a R si and the sages were n ot interested in M ah araja
Pariksit’s m aterial power. Srila Prabhupada said that when
M ah atm a G an d h i held m eetings, the sadhus o f India did not
attend. Sadhus are interested in spiritual discussions, n ot political
rhetoric. W orldly people, however, may also becom e attracted to
hearing o f M ah araja Pariksit as well as other great kings
described in the M ahabharata or the Bhagavatam. T h u s the m ate
rialistic person m ay be led forward by his attraction until he real
izes the essence in bhakti. T h e sages, however, were already at the
advanced stage and chose to hear only about persons interested
j|(
I delineated the prejudices of the Indologists and historians toward the
Vedic histories in Readings in Vedic Literature.
in Krsna. We are fortunate to be guided in our Bhagavatam study

by the question s o f the sages at N aim isaran ya because they deal
w ith the very essence o f life.
O rdinary karmis som etim es becom e envious when hearing
about the fortunes o f great devotees. T hey may criticize that
M ah araja Pariksit inherited his kingdom, or that he was fortunate
to be able to renounce his work in order to sit by the bank o f a
river. Karml m eans absorbed in karma. If the karmi wants to have
the sam e fortune or degree o f renunciation as a devotee, he has to
practice the disciplines that M aharaja Pariksit practiced through
out his life. M ah araja Pariksit was absorbed in spiritual study
throughout his life, even while providing guidance and protec
tion to the world. M aterialists can also spiritualize their destinies
by practicing karma-yoga and then niskarma-kanna-yoga, or dove
tailing their work with the interests of the Suprem e. Even before
attainin g m aterial success or renunciation, a conditioned soul can
becom e fortunate simply by hearing regularly about Krsna.
If we w ant to cultivate absorption in spiritual study, we have to
perform austerity. A lthough Lord C aitan y a did not ask us to per
form severe forms o f tapasya in this age, H e did insist that we
chant the holy nam e of the Lord. W ithout performing that aus
terity, spiritual advancem ent is not possible. G en uin e austerity
m eans to accept trouble in order to advance the Krsna conscious
mission. If we want to strive for bhakti, we’ll find that denying the
body’s constant dem ands will enhance our devotional sendee.
A usterity should be prescribed by the
V aisn avas, sastras, or spiritual master.
Prabhupada considered preaching and
jap a our pr.ime forms o f austerity. H e did
n ot like co n cocted program s o f fasting or
any kind o f “self-torture.” W hatever the
austerity, however, it should be per
form ed for K rsn a ’s pleasu re an d to
en h an ce our ability to hear about Him.
M ah araja Pariksit perform ed his act o f ren u n ciation at the

daw n o f Kali-yuga. W ithout his protection , the citizens were
assailed by the personality o f K ali, who then entered full force
into the world. W e are still suffering the results— years o f war,
unheard o f sinful activities, environm en tal disaster, and bad
govern m en t. T h ere is n oth in g for us to do but to take shelter of
the direct K rsna con scious practices. We can n ot expect a g o v
ern m en t’s protectio n or good guidance. Rather, we have to fo l
low the p ath o f the previous acaryas and go back to G o dh ead.
A s a d evotee aspires to im prove the world by preaching, he
also feels helpless w ithout the L ord ’s shelter. We are fortunate to
h ave Prabh upada’s purports to teach us this.
I answ ered the question s the d evotees asked. T h a t’s my role.

M ost o f them could probably answ er those questions th em
selves, but I like to do it and to feel staun ch and confident. We
should never feel doubtful or defeated. A question may adm it
doubt or con fusion , but w hen we seek direction and adm it ign o
rance, doubt an d confusion are autom atically conquered. T h e
person who answ ers question s becom es like a counselor who
directs us to take shelter at K rsn a’s lotus feet.
We have heard that Vedic teachings can be given in the mood
of different relationships. T hey can be spoken as if from teacher to
student, as if between friends, or as if from a lover. W hen the
instructions com e as absolute injunction dem anding subm ission to
authority, then the Vedas teach like the preceptor. W hen they are
spoken more intim ately as if am ong equals, then the Bhagavatam
is like a friend. T h e lover speaks through poetry and song. T h e
Bhagavatam narrations are capable of instructing and inspiring us
in all three o f these relationships. There is no restriction.
Sim ilarly, w hen I answ er questions, I d o n ’t h ave to assum e a
stiff posture or claim that I am as perfect as the source o f know l
edge from w hich 1 speak. I m ight even adm it th at I d o n ’t know
som eth ing, but th en assure the audience th at the answ ers are in
the books as well as in the hearts o f the great devotees. (I am not

a great d evotee.)
T h u s the answ er-m an rem ains true to the dem eanor o f one
w ho sits on the vyasasana, yet adm its th at h e ’s n ot perfect in his
ow n exam ple or precept. O r at least he doesn ’t know all the
in tricacies o f Vedic know ledge. However, he always keeps a pos-
itive attitude and trusts in V edic authority.
T h e n he sits dow n to free-write and appears to go even fur-
ther astray. H e ’s off the vyasasana now, w alking dow n a lonely
street. T h e words pour out. H e tries to answ er the deeper ques
tions, the ones th at relate to his ow n soul. H e tries to get beyond
ritual an d even ground rules, and to leave the absolute answer-
m an behind. T h e question s h ave already been answered, the
perfect counsel given, but th at restlessness both questioner and
answ er-m an feel h as n ot been addressed. M aybe it’s because they
d id n ’t reach dow n to the hum an elem ent. M aybe they even
suppressed their hum an feelings to com e up with the absolute
response. T h ey played a role but d id n ’t allow them selves to
speak from the heart.
T h a t’s where free expression com es in. L e t’s find out w hat we
really think. T h is may require that we speak the truth o f our
m inds even w hen it’s less than ideal. O f course, we tend not to
adm it certain things in public. But in private, we may be willing
to adm it alm ost anything. A t least w e’re willing to m ake our co n
fession to Krsna. We trust that H e already sees our unworthiness.
H e knows we have not proven ourselves worthy o f H is mercy.
W hy h asn ’t H e transform ed us by force into pure devotees? He
leaves us suffering here with our own free will and m ixed desires.
W e w ant to be able to answer that question. It’s im portant.
O Krsna, I pray, but how to deepen my sincerity? W hy is my
desire for prema so sm all and insignificant? Please accept me as
I am and help me to im prove.
Free-w riting is a dance, a release o f the cats and dogs and sp i

ders o f the m ind. Flies buzz around a fluorescent tube, seeking
light an d w arm th, as I do, but fluorescent tubes give o ff no heat.
G e t ou t o f your rut, O flies, and find the real source. Explore
new ways.
D ream s. T h e y ’re full o f riddles. A re they a possible u n co n
scious source from w hich we can hear the things we’re n ot w ill
ing to ad m it to ourselves? Som e say so, but dream s speak in such
riddles. L ast n igh t 1 dream t th at Jay ad vaita M ah araja said th at
we sh ouldn ’t avoid the phone calls we h ave to m ake. W e h ave
to do our duty. In the dream I was a B B T worker, an d I th ought
o f d evotees I should call.
Later, I dream t o f a scene from a softball gam e. I was an
I S K C O N leader trying to encourage devotees th at we should
n ot be afraid to play softball. It w asn’t as frightening as baseball.
I w anted the team to rise to the occasion — stick out their
gloves, sw ing those bats. We could be victorious.
T h ese dream s h ad me in
the th ick o f IS K C O N d e
votees. C o m e on, let’s toe
the line. D o n ’t be weak-
hearted. L ots o f pressure.
W ell, the logs are p o p
ping in the stove and som e
tim es there are other noises
here. T h is spot is so isolated
th at any noise is alarm ing. It could signal an intruder. H erm its
get attack ed som etim es. Listen, life is urgent. W e h ave to speak
our piece w hile we can. M ay K rsna protect us.
T h e m onk is always praying. We pray in Prabh upada’s m ood

an d in the m ood o f the G osvam is. I trust them im plicitly to lead
me forward to the goal, even w hen I can n o t always understand
w hat is bein g said. W hen I hear from som eone outside K rsna
consciousn ess, like M erton or others, about prayer, I’m not sure I
w ant to follow w hat they say nor am I certain that they know
m ore th an I know myself. In fact, I know they’re often not in
touch with the source o f highest spirituality. A t best I m ay find
profound suggestions on how to approach spirituality from them ,
but no m en tion o f the summum bonum. T herefore, they are not
my gurus or even intim ate brothers.
M ist rising from m elted snow. T h is room is too warm. N ow

words th at w ant to com e are tough and worldly, intended to jo lt
or im press. S u ch words are— w hat’s the word?— unsolicited?
D o I con sider them to be pure because they were n ot ch osen?
Part o f the Bhagavatam and spiritual flow? D o I h ave to defend
it so m uch?
Srim ad'Bhagavatam drifts over me now, particularly 1.4-10.
M ah araja Pariksit fastin g until d eath — such power he had.
T h is is in my life.
I remem ber the mice in Khargone, and even fondly the dirty rug.
K rsna, kesavaya namah— Prabhupada singing with the m oody

(blueslike) harm onium . I associate th at m usic in memory with
the old days in Boston. G au ri or R ukm inl would play that tape
during the quiet aftern oon Deity worship. T h e harm onium had
such a h au n tin g quality to it. Prabhupada bhajana fans know what
I’m talkin g about. Harer nama krsna yadavaya namah . . .
O h w hen we com e back

to the am ple co llectio n of
S rila Prabhupada singing bhajanas we are
sane t h e n -
sooth ed by m usic th at calm s
the soul.
S u n on snow
sri-rupa sanatana bhatta-raghunatha
the thread o f life tran scen den tal,
Prabhupada bhajanas.
It’s twenty m inutes before M adhu com es to do an interview.

We look at one o f the letters Srila Prabhupada sent me and try to
rem em ber what was going on in those days. Best I lie down until
then because I have a twinge in the eye for w hich I took a pill.
T h e Free-w riters’ C lu b o f A m erica bids you hello. T h e sun is
m elting the snow, and my boots sink deep into it w hen 1 walk to
the outhouse. T h erese o f Lisieux called her autobiography, The
Story of a Soul. W h at’s my book, “T h e Story o f a S n a il?” I did a
brush p ain tin g for this verse. Tim e is so lim ited.
T h e Free-w riters’ C lu b o f A m erica invites you to sit Zazen for
two or three m inutes with yourself and w ith the com m unity of
writers. Bear the burden o f silence. I co m p lain to M adhu as if it
were his fault th at the halava was cold, but my m other told me
to be grateful th at I h ave anyth in g to eat at all, since so many
people in this world are starving. S h e was right, o f course, and I
sh ould n ’t com plain . M adhu had to trod through the snow with
the halava ju st to serve it.

I said, “If you love a per
son, you w ant to m ake
them happy.” H e said it
was a pity.
S o this is the nature o f
my con fession . I d o n ’t
have anyth ing shocking
to say. I’m ju st revealing
a soul awash in pettiness
d e sp ite th e sh elter he
feels again st the shocks o f the world. T h is soul doesn ’t go out
and tend to alco h olics or drug addicts, or risk his neck out on
book distribution. H e sim ply sits here an d pipes on his reed.
It seem s like . . .
I know, and I d o n ’t w ant to hear it.
M adhu and I will discuss those days in B oston w hen I got a
letter from Prabhupada telling me he w anted to add som eth ing
to on e o f his Bhagavad-gita purports. H is addition was to give
further p roo f from B h aktisid dh an ta Sarasvati th at the Lord is
personal. I was pleased th at the ch ange w ould go through me. I
was Prabh upada’s responsible m an at IS K C O N Press, a G B C
m an an d all th at, still the tem ple president.
T h e co n n ectio n betw een
Srlmad-Bhagavatam and our
ow n little life becom es more
obvious the m ore you read.
M ah araja Pariksit sat down
n ear the G a n g es and we sit
dow n n ear a pond. H e heard
the Bhagavatam from Suka-
deva and we read o f him
hearin g the Bhagavatam by
reading the Bhagavatam. H e
fasted and we eat. H e was great and we are sm all. H e knew

K rsna an d we know K rsna’s pure devotee. H e was headed for
death an d so are we. See?
Text 11
namanti yat-pada-niketam atmanah

sivaya haniya dhanani satravah
katharh sa virah sriyam anga dustyajam
yuvaisatotsrastum aho sahasubhih
He was such a great emperor that all his enemies would come
and bow down at his feet and surrender all their wealth for
their own benefit. He was full of youth and strength, and he
possessed insuperable kingly opulences. Why did he want to
give up everything, including his life?
Comment
T h is verse repeats the question asked in the previous verse,
but it also provides m ore eviden ce o f M ah araja Pariksit’s good
fortune. T h e sages are em phasizing his power and opulence and
success so th at we can feel the shock o f his ch oice to renounce
it all to hear the Bhagavatam at the end o f his life.
I am rem inded, in a very different co n text, o f Srila Prabhu
pad a lecturing on how President Jo h n F. K ennedy had every
th in g— youth, w ealth, a m ost powerful position , a beautiful
wife— w hen suddenly it was taken away by death. Prabh upada’s
p o in t regarding JF K was th at m aterial opulence is illusion be
cause it is destroyed by death. M ah araja Pariksit’s case, o f
course, is different because his opulen ce com es from spiritual
cu ltivation . H e was not a plunderer who faced the reaction o f
“ live by the sword, die by the sword.” A lth o u gh the world was
shocked by K en n ed y’s death , how m uch m ore shocked we are to
h ear th at the king has been cursed to die. T h e sages imply that
M ah araja Pariksit’s renun ciation was voluntary; he w asn’t dri

ven out o f office.
T h e m ain cause o f surprise at his pow er o f renunciation is his
youth. W hen an old m an renounces everything, we say, “A ll
right, he got ou t before it becam e ridiculous.” But why a h an d
som e youth at the height o f his powers? N o t only that, but he
w asn’t struggling in any way to m ain tain his position. A ll other
kings were subordinate to him . A n d he was pious and prosper
ous, and both his subjects and the earth were productive. It’s
natural th at people derive a portion o f their own potency from
the potency o f the king. T h a t is also true o f the land w hich the
king rules.
R en u n ciatio n is one o f the six opulences that defines Bhag-
avan , the Suprem e Personality o f G o d h ead . Aisvaryasya sama-
grasya, viryasya yasasah sriyah/ jhana-vairdgya. (Visnu Purana,
6 .5 .4 7 ): “ Full w ealth, strength, fam e, beauty, know ledge and
ren u n ciation — these are the six opulences o f the Suprem e Per
sonality o f G o d h e a d .” T h e Lord possesses all opulences, but still
H e is n ot attach ed to any o f them . T herefore, H is power o f
ren u n ciation is the greatest. N ara-N aray an a R si is som etim es
considered the m an ifestation o f the Lord’s opulence o f renunci
ation , but K rsna also m anifested vairagya w hen H e appeared as
Lord C a ita n y a and follow ed the savnyasa principles.
Bhakti-yoga is described as vairagya-vidya nija bhakti-yoga, or
the life o f d evotio n and renunciation. T herefore, it is not am az
ing for experien ced devotees to hear th at a bhakta as great as the
king is capable o f m anifesting such an opulence. M ah araja
B h arata was a sim ilarly young and powerful king, and he too
renounced everything as if it were stool. T h e S ix G o sv am is were
also highly placed m en in society, and they too renounced their
position s as insignificant and w ent to live a s ’Tfhendicants in
V rn d avan a. It m ay seem incredible to outsiders th at a devotee
in a fortunate situ ation is so easily able to extricate h im self from
it and take to a life o f apparent hardship and reduced facilities.
A ctually, however, the devotee is joyful as he enh ances his Krsna

consciousness. T h is is especially true when a devotee elim inates
all distraction s and con cen trates only on ch an tin g and hearing
as M ah araja Pariksit did.
We may practice our own renunciation in a variety o f ways.
W e may take on a discipline, as when we follow rules and regula
tions under the order o f an authority. In the beginning o f spiritual
life, a neophyte,m ay still have a taste for illicit sex or intoxication,
but he renounces them under the authority o f the guru. T h e
strength o f the vow can counteract the persistent m aterial desires.
A t a m ore advan ced stage, we practice renun ciation based on
our taste for som eth in g higher. Visaya vinivartante, niraharasya
dehinah/ rasa-varjam raso ’py asya, param drstva nwartate. (Bg.
2 .5 9 ) “T h e em bodied soul m ay be restricted from sense en joy
m ent, though the taste for sense objects rem ains. But, ceasing
such engagem ents by experien cin g a higher taste, he is fixed
in co n sciousn ess.”
M ah araja Pariksit was not giving up sinful activity or those
things detrim ental to his K rsna consciousness, but because his
duties were com p licated and did not allow him full tim e for
hearin g and ch an tin g, K rsna m ade the arrangem ent that he
could hear the Bhagavatam. A n d through him , the w hole world
was able to hear it. Som etim es a d evotee is forced to becom e
renounced in order to leave behind those things th at are unfa
vorable to his devotio n al service. T h is forced renun ciation is
K rsn a’s special mercy upon the sincere devotee. Prabhupada said
th at K rsna worked like that in his own life, extricatin g him from
business and fam ily in order to fully situate him in life as a re
n ou n ced preacher. Yasyaham anugrhnami, harisye tad'dhanarh
sanaih/ tato 'dhanam tyajanty asya, svajana duhkha-duhkhitam: “ If
I especially favor som eone, I gradually deprive him o f his
w ealth. T h e n the relatives and friends o f such a poverty-
stricken m an aban d on him . In this way he suffers one distress
after an oth er.” (Bhdg. 10.88.8)
It is part o f the gradual nature o f sadhana-bhakti th at we n a t

urally find ourselves flow ing toward renunciation. Furtherm ore,
if we are fortunate enough to receive n otice o f im m inent death,
we will h ave received the best im petus to let go o f all m aterial
design ation s an d surrender to K rsna. O f course, ren u n ciation is
som eth in g th at is good at any stage o f life— the younger we are
w hen we accom plish it the better, because ultim ately bhakti
m eans engagin g all o f our senses in the Lord’s service. H e is the
m aster an d ow ner o f the senses and we h ave no right to claim
proprietorship over them .
W h en the spirit soul renders loving d evotion al service to
K rsna, tw o things happen. First, he becom es free o f all m aterial
d esign ation s, an d then his senses becom e purified and spiritual
ized. S rila Prabhupada used to point out how this used to h ap
pen to ev en his new W estern disciples. W esterners are raised in
com paratively opulent situations, but Prabhupada’s W estern
disciples renounced their com forts to surrender their lives to
K rsna. It is alm ost in con ceivable to a m aterialist how som eone
could give up everything for a spiritual goal. T h ey often assum e
th at the d evotees were deceived or “brainw ashed” by a cult
leader into giving up w hat they consider the n ecessities o f
h um an life. O th ers th ink th at the devotees h ave becom e
renoun ced out o f disappoin tm en ts they h ave experienced in
their lives. But Prabhupada advertised the renunciation o f his
disciples proudly and said th at it was a sym ptom o f love for G od.
H is disciples, he said, were experien cin g a higher, spiritual taste.
W e disciples, although n ot claim ing spiritual success, were cer
tainly pleased to be free o f our nasty, sinful habits— those habits
w hich plague all m aterialists in Kali-yuga.
Even a beginner in Krsna consciousness is able to give up
illicit sex, in toxication , gam bling, and m eat-eating. How is it
possible? By guru an d K rsna’s mercy. T herefore, while Prabhu
pad a displayed our vairagya to others, he taught us not to
b eco m e prou d o f it ou rselv es. A d e v o tee o n ce said to
Prabhupada, “Sw am iji, I h ave given up everything for you.”

Prabhupada replied, “You h ad n oth in g to renounce. Everything
already belon ged to K rsn a.” If we understand this point, we will
understand th at all we h ave renounced is our false claim to pro
prietorship, and in essence, our m adness. If a m an claim ed to
ow n all the m oney in the Ban k o f A m erica, we w ould consider
him m ad. If he added, “ But I renounce th at w ealth ,” we would
really fear for his sanity. H e never ow ned the m oney to begin
w ith, so w hat is the question o f renouncing it?
N everth eless, it is more difficult for a person as w ealthy as
M ah araja Pariksit to renounce the attractio n o f worldly life
th an for som eon e w ho is im poverished. For a poor m an, spiritual
ren u n ciation m ay even im prove his life m aterially. A t least he
v/ill be fed. For som eon e like M ah araja Pariksit, however, it is
said th at his w ealth was greater th an the opulen ce possessed by
the kin g o f heaven . H ow great he was to renounce it.
D evotees now adays find it difficult to im agine life during the
tim e w hen M ah araja Pariksit reigned. W e grew up in dysfunc
tional fam ilies where both parents were forced to work to pay
the bills. M ah araja Pariksit’s life was m aterially satisfying. H is
fam ily ties were strong and loving, and the world was unified
under a single govern m en t. N ow adays, the world seem s on the
brink o f p olitical and m oral disorder. T h e environm ent is o v er
burdened by the sense gratification o f the w orld’s citizens and
we are about to experien ce m ajor shortages. S till, the co n clu
sion is the sam e, w hether it is present in the Satya-yuga or dur
ing the w orst th at K ali-yuga has to give. T h is m aterial world is
unhappy an d tem porary (duhkhalayam asdsvatam ). W e all have
to learn to use our suffering as the im petus by w hich we strive
for freedom from the cycle o f birth an d death.
A t the present age we will n ot be able to see an exam ple like
M ah araja Pariksit, a king who exceled in both exam ple and pre
cept— a perfect V aisnava. S till, we can see good exam ples o f
V aisnavas in the K rsna consciousness m ovem ent, and we can
follow in their footsteps.
In this verse, M ah araja Pariksit is described as so powerful

“ th at all his enem ies would com e and bow down at his feet and
surrender all their w ealth for their own benefit.” H ere the word
“en em ies” refers to the p olitical com petitors, n on devotees, and
dem ons who m ight h ave considered opposing M ah araja Parik-
sit. T h ey knew they could never defeat him , so they surrendered
them selves out o f self-interest.
We m ay also apply the term “ enem y” to ourselves and c o n
sider th at we, after so m any lifetim es, rem ain opposed to K rsna’s
proposal th at we surrender to H im in devotion. Prabhupada
states th at it is difficult for m ost people to respond to K rsna’s
con clu d in g instruction o f Bhagavad'gita: sarva-dharman [mritya-
jy a, mam ekarh saranam vraja, “G iv e up all religion and ju st sur
render unto M e.” W hen a person hears the L ord’s statem en t, he
tends to rebel at the absoluteness o f the order. Even though we
are aspiring to becom e K rsna’s devotees, we may also find our
selves rebelling. W hy aren ’t we more deeply dependent on
K rsna? W hy do we continue to m ake plans to satisfy our bodies
and m inds as if our interests are separate from those o f Krsna?
We understand theoretically that our h appiness is intim ately
con n ected to our w illingness to satisfy Krsna, so why d o n ’t we
im m ediately surrender our self-interest?
T h e kind o f surrender th at K rsna is requesting is actually the
m ood o f sannyasa. Sannyasa does n ot only m ean acceptin g saf
fron cloth and leaving behind wife and family. A ll devotees are
expected to follow sannyasa'dharm a in essence. Lord C aitan y a
expressed this m ood on H is Sou th Indian tour: Krsna! Krsna!
Krsna! K rsna! Krsna! Krsna! Krsna! he!/ Ram a! Raghava! Rama!
Raghava! Ram a! Raghava! raksa mam! / Krsna! Kesava! pahi mam!
“O K rsna, please protect m e! O Krsna, please save m e !” In this
way, H e sim ply depended on K rsna in all situ ations and ren
dered H im service with body, m ind, and words.
W e should pray for such a spirit o f dependence. We can n ot
protect ourselves; only K rsna can do it. A n d only K rsna can ulti-
m ately rem ove the ignorance and pride th at block us from

acceptin g our position as H is lovin g servitors. O Krsna, please
find a way for a poor fool to surrender to You. T h is is for our
ow n benefit.
Verses 9 -11 in this ch apter all express a n ote o f eagerness to
h ear the Bhagavatam. S u ch eagerness is the prim ary q u alifica
tion for attain in g m aterial d etach m en t and spiritual a ttac h
m ent. If we w ant to becom e more depen den t on K rsna and less
con cen trated on our ow n m ind and senses, we can begin to
show our sincerity by increasing our eagerness to hear. T h e n
K rsna will bless us.
T h is is my prayer: as M ah araja Pariksit surrendered every

thing, I h ave to surrender everything. I have to give my life, my
desires, my service to the will o f K rsna. L et my life flow in a way
th at serves the sahkhtana m ovem ent an d pleases my spiritual
m aster. Please allow me to be renounced, n ot in a stunted or
m iserly way, but w ith overflow ing attach m en t to Krsna.
Prabh upada was the m ost renounced because he never
claim ed his assets for himself. Rather, he used them all— wealth,
power, his thousands of disciples— in K rsna’s service. H e accepted
the responsibility o f his austerity. T h a t is, he m anaged a world
m ovem ent and traveled widely to m aintain it. H e stayed up late
at night worrying about his disciples and their deviations, rebel
lions, quarrels, and the growing opposition from the nondevotees.
H e described his ow n m ood as sim ilar to that o f Vasudeva, w h o.
feared th at K am sa would kill Krsna. Prabhupada felt the sam e
ecstasy o f fearfulness as I S K C O N ’s protective parent.
R en u n ciatio n isn’t always accom plished, therefore, by re
n ou n cin g our duties. Som etim es accep tin g a burden on b eh alf o f
guru is a sym ptom o f renunciation. A critic m ight see P rabh u
pada takin g w ealth from his disciples, assum ing power over their
lives, enjoyin g worldwide travel, and receiving affection ate w or
ship, but a devotee will understand the m ood o f austerity and
sacrifice beh in d Prabhupada’s activities. If Prabhupada enjoyed

anyth in g, it was the pleasure he was able to give to his spiritual
m aster through his p reach ing efforts. H e also enjoyed defeating
M ayavadls. Prabhupada was a fighter who, like A rju n a, loved to
use his warrior spirit in the Lord’s service. W h atever he enjoyed
w as n ot sense gratification but a flavor o f bhakti. It should n ot
be m isunderstood as anything but that.
A ctually, Prabh upada’s life story rem inds m e o f the story o f
K in g Priyavrata. Priyavrata was living a renounced life as
N ara d a ’s disciple on a m ountain top. H e had already given the
th ron e to his younger brother, U ttan ap ad a, but w hen U ttan a-
pad a was killed, Lord Brahm a requested Priyavrata to assume
the duties o f emperor. Lord Brahm a assured Priyavrata th at even
though he was leaving the life o f a renunciate and taking on the
life o f a worldly m an, K rsna w ould protect his devotion. T h a t
proved to be true.
In a sim ilar way, we may be required at different tim es o f our
lives to renounce the pleasure o f our con ven ien t renuncia-
tion — as Prabhupada did w hen he left the shelter o f R adha-
D am odara in V rn d avan a and cam e to A m erica— and to accept
the life o f active service. Or, we m ay be required to renounce
the life o f active service an d take up a quieter routine o f inter
nal cu ltivation . W h at we must never renounce, however, is the
order o f guru and Krsna. A n d , K rsna says in Bhagavad-gita, we
m ust n ever renounce charity, penan ce, and sacrifice.
In oth er words, d o n ’t renounce ch an tin g on your beads, d o n ’t
renounce eatin g only krsna'prasadam , d on ’t renounce V aisnava
association , d o n ’t renounce h earing the Bhagavatam. S tay alive
in K rsna consciousness. K rsna will usually signal to us w hat we
need to jettiso n (if we are a king) and w hat burdens we must
accep t (even if we prefer n ot to accep t them ) if we w ant to
com e closer to H is lotus feet.
K eep going, m ate, and try

to follow your ow n good ad
vice. You’re on a roll, so go
ahead, but d o n ’t go beyond
your realization.
We do th at som etim es in
our enthusiasm to preach.
We start saying all this ideal
stuff th at we c a n ’t even fo l
low ourselves. It’s the power o f the verse and purports— we get
carried away by their wisdom — and we try to carry away the
audien ce too. Suddenly, we all find ourselves saying, “Yeah,
you’re right,” and considering how to renounce all the unfavor
able things in our lives to im prove our K rsna consciousness. T h e
pow er o f sound vibration.
S o m eo n e had th at renounced attitude after m eeting Lord
C a ita n y a too. H e im m ediately decided to renounce wife and
h om e and follow the Lord. Lord C a ita n y a told that Kurm a
B rah m an a to stay at hom e, but to tell everyone he m et about
K rsna an d to becom e guru o f his country. Lord C aitan y a
prom ised to be with him always in his service.
Yeah, renounce, go to V rn davan a, live in a cave in seclusion,
and ch an t H are K rsna day and night. W ho needs an apartm ent?
Ju st go out and distribute books full-tim e, always depen den t on
K rsn a’s mercy. O r even better, m ove your fam ily into the n ear
est H are K rsna tem ple and surrender. A cce p t any acco m m o d a
tions and educate your children with w hatever m eans are a v a il
able. D o n ’t worry, the tem ple president will take care o f that.
Sim p ly ehgage all your energies in the tem ple’s service.
H m m , it d oesn ’t always work th at way. T h e tem ple president
may n ot be able to accom m odate you or your needs or your
actu al level o f realization or renunciation.
W e’re left to figure it out. L e t’s do it now. Okay, Satsvaru pa,
open all the drawers in this desk. L e t’s see w hat you h ave in
there. A h a! A tape o f N ata lie G o ld b erg’s “W riter’s W orkshop”

an d som e poetry books. C o m e on, throw them out. W h at else
h ave you got? Burn those slan g words and those A m erican ism s
an d m em ories. A n d no more dream s unless they are explicitly
K rsna conscious. W h ere’s your dhotiV. How com e you’re wearing
sw eat pants? A n d w hat about those dentures? R agh u n ath a dasa
G o sv am i d id n ’t wear dentures, and he only ate a spot o f butter
every third day. D o n ’t w ear sew n clothes, and ch an t more
rounds. Bow dow n to a hundred thousand V aisnavas a day.
W h a t’s this fax m achin e? A n d a typewriter? For publishing
books, you say? Your books? G iv e it up, give it all up, and sim ply
ch an t H are K rsna.
It’s n ot so easy. O K rsna, I d on ’t w ant to be counted am ong
Your enem ies. Please teach me how to surrender. T each me
w hatever I need to knolv in my ow n interests. I am stuck with
th is free will and I tenld to play with it and string out my desires.
O Lord, O epergy o f the Lord, please save me.
I H ere is a list o f things I do w ant to renounce:
I w ant to renounce falling asleep in the rocking ch air w hile I
ch an t my rounds.
I w ant to renounce too m uch com fort.
N o , I need to drop ben eath logic:
N onlogical Q u ic k L ist o f Things to R enounce

(1 ) Butterm ilk.
(2 ) Persim m ons.
(3 ) H aiku, Jap an ese poetry— the enjoying m ood.
(4 ) Attachment, taste o f sense grat.
(5 ) O h , but I c a n ’t.
(6 ) N atu re C u re strictures— stop eatin g at first belch, d o n ’t
e at grains, never take m edicine.
(7 ) H erm it life.
(8 ) C h ristian books.
(9 ) A n yth in g unfavorable for service.
(10) C onfessing all in print (it may be a form o f exhibitionism ).

(11) “S tre ak in g ” (running naked in public).
(1 2 ) M un dan e poets.
(1 3 ) Life— you’ll h ave to. A ctually, you d o n ’t give it up, you
ju st co n sen t to w hat Tim e takes away.
(1 4 ) Fear and resentm ent. A n ger at M adhu and the cooks
w hen they bring the wrong things— cold halava— or they run
out o f cider.
(1 5 ) L o okin g at w om en with an enjoyin g spirit. It’s a joke at
my age.
(1 6 ) Faultfin din g o f all kinds.
(1 7 ) N aiv ete.
A n d use w hatever you h ave in the Lord’s service. Yukta-
vairagya. L et it flow. U se the arm ies! U se the m issiles!
I c a n ’t use anything. My festival is like a muni’s forest festi
val; all 1 h ave is a few roots and herbs— a few writing tricks.
D o n ’t renounce them . W rite on.
I hereby renounce the B ank o f A m erica. 1 hereby renounce
my A m erican citizenship and my m em bership in the European
E co n om ic C o m m u n ity or any such com m unity in Brazil or
India. (B u t I w on’t surrender my faded U .S . passport.)
I w on’t surrender, n ot to karmis, to cuties, to fear.
I w on ’t surrender to N ew A ge gurus, to girls’ wiles, to dem ons
or to the pressure o f the anti-cultists.
I w on’t give up!
A tw inkling, merry m an I am , a real R ock B ottom who
carved h im self a w alking stick and put on W ellies.
I w on ’t renounce this cabin while I’m here to use it, although
it’s n ot m ine to possess (nothing is m in e.) I w on’t renounce my
attem p t to im prove my sixteen rounds.
I c a n ’t renounce my upcom ing death, or the idea o f it, but
w ould like to renounce sam sara.
O Lord, I w on’t give up the m ad hope o f attaining Your
lotus feet.
I w on’t give up writing letters to disciples or printing “A m on g

Friends” or give in to the critics. I will give up upatis. A lthough
I’d like to, I c a n ’t renounce my headaches. T h ey seem to be here
to stay.
Hey, I could chuck off more o f those accouterm ents right
away. I m ust be lax. I had better w atch out and tigh ten my dhoti
or go to M ayapur or som ething.
0 M ah araja Pariksit, you
gave up everything and w ent to
hear Srim ad'Bhagavatam .
1 too h ave my “seven-day n o tice.”
I w on ’t give up hearing
from S u k a and Vyasa
or give up my love for Prabhupada, or

my attem p t to cooperate and
m ain tain h is m ovem ent.
Telegram , U ncensored
T elegraph, telegram s. Stop .
M P— m ilitary police or M ah araja Pariksit? Life ought to
m ake sense an d we should honor sacred subjects.
It’s a sticky p oin t som etim es. M ake your m ind your friend.
You see, we all w ant to m ake friends— o f a boy who honors
the Bhagavatam , o f long-faced poets, haggard D am odara dasa,
gaun t from sickness, o f Jason R obards drifting on ice.
It’s a sham e. T h is is an uncensored telegram .
T h e re ’s a pot on the stove, but the fire is out. M . is away,
looking for a phone.
Listen,
do you hear a car
com in g up the hill?
S o m eo n e asked me to initiate his wife.
I stop before that thought is com plete and give way to the next:
MP, m ountain peak. M oun t S t. H e le n s blow n off. IS K C O N

vo lcan o spew ing “cult infam ies,” “our m an ” in the h eadlines. We
were blow n off the front page by M oun t S t. H elen ’s eruption.
W h at a relief. O ur reputation saved. I hate bad press.
A re we good guys or bad?
True poets or cu lt artists?
C u lt or loin cloth kaupin
clutch ed in clothespin
U .S . citizens im itatin g A m erican Indians—
cults be dam ned.
O K rsna, th at is a car com in g up the hill,
fighting the thaw ed mud,
me here w riting, or supposed to be.
N o crim es are bein g com m itted here.
T h is is n ot the C rim ean War, but a zone safe in snow.
W e m ake the best use o f life and offer the result to Krsna.
O Bhakti- devi, you are the m ain ingredient.
W hy did M P give up everything and sit on the bank o f the

G an g es to fast until death ? It’s a long story and it starts with
V yasad eva’s d issatisfaction . Eventually we learn why M P was
cursed to die. S in ce the Bhagavatam takes its tim e to answ er the
question , so will I.
Text 12
sivaya lokasya bhavaya bhutaye

ya uttam a'sloka-parayana janah
jwanti natmartham asau parasrayarh
mumoca nirvidya kutah kalevaram
Those who are devoted to the cause of the Personality of

Godhead live only for the welfare, development and happiness
of others. They do not live for any selfish interest. So even
though the Emperor [Pariksit] was free from all attachment to
worldly possessions, how could he give up his mortal body,
which was shelter for others?
Comment
For the third verse in a row, Sau n ak a R si asks why M ah araja
Pariksit gave up his life and duties to hear Srim ad'Bhagavatam .
T h is verse brings new depth to the inquiry.
Prabhupada describes M ah araja Pariksit as an ideal king and
householder. W e may therefore study his qualities and try to fob
low them according to our ow n lim ited capacity. A lth o u gh he
was free o f attach m en t to m aterial life, Pariksit M ah araja set an
exam p le for others to follow. H e engaged in welfare work for
others, but n ot in a m undane way. Everything he did for others
would ben efit them not only in this life but in the next. We
som etim es h ear th at it is pious to dig wells or plant trees and
th at by doin g such deeds, we accum ulate pious credits. E v en tu
ally those credits add up to the blessing o f m eeting a devotee.
But the works are still m undane. R eal welfare work m eans to
give people K rsna consciousness, spiritual culture.
Part o f spiritual culture is to hold con gregation al ch an tin g in
the hom e and to distribute prasadam. T h is was Lord C a ita n y a ’s
program , and S rila Prabhupada also establish ed it as part o f the
IS K C O N m ission. H e even said th at it was not necessary to
open centers all over the world; householders could open tem
ples in their ow n hom es by w orshiping the Deity, h oldin g kir-
tana in the evenings, and offering prasadam to guests.
M ah araja Pariksit’s adm in istration was special, however, be
cause not only did it transcend m undane welfare work and co n
centrate on spiritual culture, but it also transcended the bodily
co n cep t o f life an d exten d ed iself to all creatures w hether
hum an, anim al, or plant. T h is proves his quality o f selflessness.
Prabhupada w rites in the purport, “Selfish n ess is either self-
cen tered or self-extended. H e was neither. H is interest was to
please the Suprem e Truth, Personality o f G o d h e a d .” Freedom
from selfishness is one o f the ch aracteristics o f a pure devotee.
Karmis are usually selfish because they w ant to satisfy the
body an d the exten sion s o f the body (family, nation , etc.).
Bodily con sciousn ess m akes it alm ost im possible to broaden the
scope o f co n cern to the bodies o f those we d o n ’t know. T h a t is
because we succeed in fulfilling our sense desires at oth ers’
expen se. Jnanis tend to be more broad-m inded in their interests
and to try to h elp others beyond the bodily designation. Usually,
however, they are w eighted dow n by the selfish interest of
attain in g their ow n salvation , w hich usually translates into
w anting to becom e one with G o d . Yogis m ay be a little above
jnanis by the strength o f their austerities, but they too can fall
into desiring m ystic siddhis or im personal liberation. T h e bhakta,
however, w ants only to please K rsna and to freely distribute
K rsna con sciousn ess to w hoever will take it.
A n ideal king is G o d conscious (isavasya, G od-centered). He
is interested in guiding his subjects back to G odh ead. A s an
adm inistrator, he protects the various interests o f the different liv
ing beings from too m uch conflict and coordinates one with an
other so that they help each other m ake spiritual progress. O ne
m ain principle o f that type o f adm inistration is nonviolence. A s
the anim als are protected from being slaughtered for food, the
people, w ho are culturing com passion and nonviolence, can hear
spiritual truths. W hen people are focused on a spiritual goal

w hile peacefully prosecuting the duties o f an agrarian-based
society, all living entities becom e balan ced and satisfied.
S au n ak a M uni seem s to be ch allen gin g M ah araja Pariksit’s
m otive. H e w ants to understand why the K in g w ould renounce
his duty for his ow n benefit. T h ese inquiries are m ean t to both
establish M ah araja Pariksit’s ch aracter and to help us in v esti
gate our ow n m otives. We can always read the Bhagavatam on
th ose two levels. It is sim pler to follow the story and appreciate
the persons described in the con texts in w hich they appear, but
it is in evitable th at we will h ave to face the exam ples and apply
the lessons the devotees teach in our own lives. Srila V yasadeva
selected the stories to appear in the Bhagavatam w ith this in ten
tion in m ind.
A n d this is a good question, relevan t to all o f us. A t w hat
poin t m ay we decide th at we are no longer responsible to sh el
ter our dependents, but now should turn exclusively to our own
spiritual im provem ent? W hen can a householder free h im self of
fam ily duties to devote h im self fully to preaching to the larger
fam ily o f h um ankin d w ithout being considered negligent?
S rila Prabhupada also faced this question. H e rem ained in
h o u se h o ld life for a lm o st forty years. T h e n he entered
renounced life. But renunciation did n ot m ean retirem ent. He
never stopped working for the good o f the larger h um an family.
S rila Prabhupada set the best exam ple.
T h e grhastha'asram a should n ot be aban don ed prematurely.
H ouseh olders can learn valuable lessons th at will help them in
their spiritual aspirations. T h ey learn patien ce, responsibility,
tolerance, and co n cern for worldly obligation s w ithout losing
the spiritual heart. T h e Bhagavatam states, “O n e who has given
up all m aterial duties and taken full shelter at the lotus feet o f
M ukunda, w ho gives shelter to all, is n ot indebted to the d em i
gods, great sages, ordinary living beings, relatives, friends,
m ankind or even o n e ’s forefathers who h ave passed away.” (C c.
M adhya 2 2 .1 4 1 )
T h is is an im portan t verse to help us understand th at d e v o

tees o f K rsna are n ot obliged to perform rituals or follow social
co n ven tio n s. However, neither should we prem aturely or imma-
turely aban d on our social or fam ilial responsibilities. T h e h ou se
holders especially h ave the responsibility to m ain tain wife and
ch ildren (perh aps even anim als, if th at is ap plicab le), hom es,
and property. T h e se do n ot autom atically becom e “mdyd" the
m om ent one takes initiation. R ather, they are all part o f the
h ouseholders’ personal spiritual an d m aterial developm ent.
Even in the early days o f IS K C O N , Prabhupada h an ded out
h ealth y doses o f responsibility to his disciples. H e didn ’t w ant
irresponsible h ippies around. M y first im pulse upon establish ing
the begin n in gs o f a relation sh ip w ith Prabhupada was to quit my
jo b at the welfare office. I w anted to be able to sit around with
the boys in the storefront, listen in g to Sw am iji all day. Prabhu
pada did n ot approve, however, and he requested th at I keep my
jo b an d d on ate m oney to 26 S eco n d A venue. Follow ing his a d
vice m ade m e feel responsible to him and to our little IS K C O N
family. H e never allow ed m e to think th at spiritual life was a
tran scen den tal version o f hippie life, w hich m ight h ave been
my tendency. R ather, he encouraged m e to help him provide
shelter for the devotees so th at there could be an environm en t
w here everyone could hear and ch an t about Krsna.
T herefore Sau n ak a R si’s question: how could the Emperor,
w ho is responsible to provide such shelter to m illions o f living
beings, renounce his duty in the nam e o f peacefully executing his
ow n K rsna consciousness? How could he becom e purified by
such an act? Purification com es w hen we diligently perform our
assigned duties and fulfill our Krsna conscious responsibility to
others. T h e Bhagavatam states, gurur na sa syat sva-jano na sa syat:
“O n e who can n ot deliver his dependents from the path of
repeated birth and death should never becom e a spiritual master,
a father, a husband, a m other or a w orshipable dem igod.” (Bhdg.
5.5.18) T h a t m eans more than sim ply teaching transcendental
precepts or settin g an exam ple o f ascetic renunciation. It m eans

creatin g a situ atio n in w hich others can practically prosecute
their ow n spiritual developm ent.
A g a in , S rila Prabhupada taught us this in his ow n preaching.
W h en he awarded us sannyasa in 1 9 7 2 ,1 was im m ediately eager
to take on the life o f a traveling preacher. A t the sam e tim e, I
was h esitan t to leave my duties w ith the D allas gurukula and the
Sp iritu al S k y Incense com pany th at was supporting the tem ple.
G rad u ally I found th at there were others w ho were w illing to
assum e my duties, and I realized th at I had to renounce the
m en tality th at things would n ot go on w ithout my input. I saw
th at it was im m ature to leave my service w ithout proper co n
sideration , an d it was just as im m ature to unnecessarily rem ain
attach ed to it.
But w hat about M ah araja Pariksit? A key factor in his own
determ in ation was th at he had been cursed to die w ithin seven
days. If he h ad not known o f this curse, he would n ot have
renounced his duties so quickly. A s long as we are young and in
norm al h ealth , our K rsna conscious duty is to rem ain active in
the m ission. In fact, rem aining active in service is the best way
to prepare for death. Life is more im portant th an death, and real
life is K rsna consciousness. N eith er should we create a false
duality in our m inds about w hat our duties are w hile we are alive
an d w hat they will becom e w hen we are preparing to die. T h e
essence o f our duty is to hear and ch an t about Krsna, and to
render H im selfless service under the directions of the spiritual
m aster. A t the tim e o f death our con cen tration may shift from
outw ard p reach ing to inward cu ltivation , but the sam e basic
K rsna con scious essence is there in either case. In M ah araja
P ariksit’s case, it was tim e for him to sw itch his con cen tration
to inward cu ltivation . H e had his notice.
U n til we becom e perfect devotees, our m otives will rem ain
im pure. W e live with so m any lim itations w hen we are still
w orking toward perfection, and all we can do is try to go beyond
them . T h e least we can do is to restrain our senses and try to

m ove alw ays in the right direction. R upa G o sv am i lists those
things th at are unfavorable to our progress in K rsna co n sciou s
ness. T h e first two, atyahdrah prayasas ca, eatin g more than
necessary or co llectin g more th an necessary, are particularly
unfavorable. Fam ily m em bers may dem and more m aterial goods
from the fam ily provider, but it is n ot a d ev o tee’s duty to
respond to every whim expressed— for bigger houses, better cars,
and so on. H e can provide w hat he can, but n ot at the expense
o f his K rsna consciousness. H e has to find the balan ce in his
ow n h eart betw een satisfying his fam ily and satisfying his spiri
tual aspirations. It is n ot always easy.
It also becom es difficult if we criticize one an oth er’s standard
o f ren u n ciation or apparent opulence. Even if he is accused o f
n ot preach ing or o f living too opulently according to tem ple
standards, a householder devotee can exam in e his heart and
find co n fiden ce th at his varna and asram a are the best veh icles
for his purification. T h e criticism can help him feel hum ble, and
from a platform o f hum ility he will be able to give up un n eces
sary anxiety. A ll devotees w ould like to give a m illion dollars to
the tem ple to con stru ct th at new building, and w ho w ouldn’t
w ant his wife to do D eity service w hile the kids are at the
gurukula? But each grhastha has to decide how to ensure th at his
fam ily life rem ains sm ooth and religious. T h a t m eans each fam
ily unit has to preserve a certain am oun t o f integrity. T h is is
practically im possible if the fam ily m em bers are involved in too
m uch sense gratification , but those w ho choose to rem ain firm
in their understanding o f their spiritual m aster’s direction can
properly understand their duty.
T h e m ain thrust o f this purport is a positive one, and it can
inspire us to reach beyond selfishness. It is a greater happiness
to work an d see others becom e happy by our activities th an to
try to enjoy th em directly ourselves. Prabhupada used to com e
into the tem ple room on occasion and look around at the
devotees. “ Is everything all right?” W e would beam back at him

and say sincerely, in unison, “Yes! Ja y a Srila Prabh upada!”
Prabhupada m ade us happy and th at m ade him happy. T h is is
the m ean in g o f the com petition in spiritual life. R eal spiritual
life is free o f selfishness.
If we still find ourselves overcom e by selfishness, however, we
should practice sadhana. O ur ch an tin g and hearing will gradu
ally w ear away any anarthas. A lth o u gh a book distributor may at
first be obsessed w ith his own stan din g as num ber one in the
world, gradually the intense work of distributing books itself
m akes him hum ble. O ur service will im prove our character, and
it will also ben efit others.
W as M ah araja Pariksit selfish to go to the banks o f the

G an g es to hear? N o . H e did w hat he had to do for everyone’s
welfare.
A m I selfish?
W e each ask ourselves.
“O persim m on ,” he cried, “the thaw has com e to these h ills.”

M ud in place o f ice and snow. Four-wheel drive jeeps with
ch ain s on the w heels slither and slide in the mud. T h e bears will
con tin u e to h ib ern ate for an oth er m onth, unless it gets sud
denly warm.
Try to be a poet. Try to be a devotee. A re your roots K rsna
con scious? So m eo n e told me th at we m ust first sink our roots in
com m unity; then we can becom e better devotees. “ H m m ,” I
w ondered. “ Is th at different th an sinking our roots deep into
sadhanaT' H ow is all this con nected to service? W e are writers or
farm ers or so m any things, and we are all those th in gs,d ep en
den t on one another, but if we d o n ’t h ave a deep co n n ection to
the Bhagavatam and the holy nam e, then w hat use is it all
(sram a eva hi kevalam)?
S o m e people are more relaxed an d con fiden t th an I am about

all this. T h ey are con vin ced th at they are devotees and th at
their co n n ectio n to K rsna is natural and strong.
S o , write on, M acD uff. C arve out th at quarry from w hich the
ston es to build the foun dation m ay be m ined.
I n oticed th at som e devotees ask the sam e questions again

an d again. O n e devotee is un certain w hether his work at his jo b
is K rsna conscious. H e struggles with the work and w ith his self-
im age in his relation sh ip with IS K C O N . H e w ants to be appre
ciated. I appreciate him , but he has to rem em ber th at h e’s a c o n
dition ed soul. W anting to be appreciated sh ouldn ’t m ean w an t
ing to be considered the greatest.
I w ant to take th at advice myself.
A n o th er m an often writes about the end o f the world. H e is
exp ectin g econ om ic collapse at any m om ent and disasters
aplenty. H e w ants to know where we stand on that.
Is he eccen tric? D o I really believe th at G en eral M otors and
IBM and President C lin to n and the crazy M iddle East countries
and A frica an d R ussia will rem ain the sam e forever? T h a t’s w hat
people th ought before H itler invaded Poland in 1939. Every
th in g ch an ges. S o it goes. W hatever we ach ieve can be instantly
burned dow n and destroyed.
W riters are particularly prone to this fear. A fter all, d on ’t w rit

ers work against the futility o f trying to becom e im m ortal only to
never ach ieve it? Paul Fussell wrote th at about Sam uel Jo h n so n ’s
vision o f poets. In The Lives of The Poets, Jo h n son saw poets as
pitiful, working again st the inevitable anonym ity th at com es as
tim e robs us o f life and posterity. I work with the hope that even
a little devotion al service will never dim inish or suffer loss.
M y m ind is ch urn in g from a discussion I h ad yesterday with

a friend. O u r lives are sim ilar in certain respects, but different
too. Bein g w ith my friend h elped me see m ore w ho I am , an d it
gave me con fiden ce. I tend to be m ore afraid o f criticism from
the in stitution . I,know th at theoretically we shouldn ’t be afraid,
but I am w ho I am and I have inner critics w ho are projections
o f others.
I w ould like to take m ore advan tage o f the freedom I h ave to
do w hat I consider to be my best con tribution to the K rsna co n
sciousness m ovem ent. Talking about roots, my service is where
I am rooted. A m I being responsible to others? Yes, I th ink so.
A n d hearin g the Bhagavatam was the greatest th in g M ah araja
Pariksit did— for others as well as him self.
R ain on m ud and ice. M e w alking back an d forth, chanting.

A m I responsible? W h at are my real obligations? A m I enough
o f a d evotee to claim th at I am free o f m undane obligations?
S o m e o f my friends are more con fiden t about that.
T h e sages’ lives are pertinent to our own. It was good for
M ah araja Pariksit to leave everything and go hear about Krsna.
It was good for him .
W ell, th en w hat about those w ho were depen dent on him ?
W here was his selflessness then?
H e heard Bhagavatam and all his dependents— and all o f us
now— h ave com e to benefit. H e created an atm osphere so sur
charged with devotion that Sukad eva spoke the beautiful verses,
and even V yasadeva and N arad a stopped to listen.
H e fulfilled his greatest responsibility.
W e gabble like hurt seagulls som etim es,

fast-talkin g poets on street corners.
W ill we d evotees break out
from w hat we can n o t understand?
Find freedom ? Prove som eth ing?
Free from resen tm en t for lives spent

differently th an planned,
now p ickin g up the thread again,
d an cin g in chorus
refusing to question too deeply
back to the freedom
o f where I feel happiest—
my chronology,
w riting for K rsna
before I die.
I’ll draw th e curtain s over the door w indow s and rest my arm
on the desk.
D o I w rite by hand?
Yes, I said.
W h o know s my world?
I’m w atch in g the mud path for an yon e’s advan ce and e x p e ct
ing a h ead ach e any m om ent. I’m far away and I d o n ’t h ave to
m ake sense.
(T h ree verses in a row they asked why he quit. A sk me why
I quit an d I’ll tell you. I got out o f m an agem en t and ou t o f m ate
rial life an d it’s been good for m e.)
Ldd, our dear typist, was in a car accid en t. S h e says the car
w ent ou t o f con trol. T h e m en w ho later arrived at the scen e o f
the accid en t speculated th at she m ight h ave fallen asleep at the

w heel. T h e road was curvy and they had ju st laid gravel, but her
car flipped over. A passing citizen found her alm ost unconscious
in the car an d called out to her. S h e clim bed out. T h e wheels
were o ff the car and the top was sm ashed in, but she appeared
to h ave n o injuries. T h e passerby dropped her off at a telephone
booth , n ot w anting to becom e more entangled w ith this strange
w om an from A m erica with the out-of-province license plates.
S h e co u ld n ’t reach her cow orker by phone, so she h ad to walk
the six kilom eters back to the apartm en t where she is staying.
Felt som e ach e in shoulder and chest, but last nigh t was back at
her typing tasks. W h ile relating this story to me, a devotee said,
“S h e passed the test.” T h e ow ner o f the car, her coworker, must
also be goin g through a test now, since her car is a to tal wreck.
A ll this so th at this boy can write his codes. H is cry, “O h , let
m e be a d e v o tee ”— does it w arrant som eone risking her life to
tran sport this fare ?
T h e w eather is warm, the rain straight dow n, an d a big pud

dle is becom in g a pon d outside my door.
T h in k in g about it som e m ore, yes, even though I allow my
first th oughts to play o n the page, I co n ten d th at it’s worth the
risk o f life. I m ean, my ow n life. I am serious. T herefore I thank
Ldd for h er d ed ication and hope I can follow her exam ple: get
out o f the car wreck an d get back to w riting in a sim ple and
brave way— even if I h ave to rub at my arm and chest.
Pouring rain. M. w alking dow n mud path . O p en the door for

him . It’s im portan t to be honest.
Text 13
tat sarvarh nah samdcaksva

prsto yad iha kincana
manye warn visaye vdcam
snatam anyatra chandasat
We know that you are expert in the meaning of all subjects,

except some portions of the Vedas, and thus you can clearly
explain the answers to all the questions we have just put to you.
Comment
S au n ak a R si praises S u ta G o sv am i as a parivrajakacdrya, or a
learn ed preacher. Srila Prabhupada explain s the difference
betw een brahmanas w ho know the Vedas and adm in ister their
rituals, an d preachers who know the Puranas and distribute
their know ledge.
E a ch o f these tran scen den talists h as his ow n function. W hen
S au n ak a says th at S u ta is n ot expert in certain portions o f the
Vedas, this refers to his n ot being expert in ritualistic perfor
m ances. T h is does n ot m ake him inferior or disqualified in any
way. T h e V edic m antras m ust be recited with exact m etrical
pron u nciation . S u ta G o sv am i, follow ing S u k ad e v a G o sv a n I,
w as fully absorbed in the Srimad-Bhagavatam. T herefore, he did
n ot take tim e to m aster all the pron u nciations o f the V edic
fruitive rites.
By studying Srim ad'Bhagavatam we becom e self-sufficient and

learn ed in the essence o f the V edic literature. A s already stated,
“T h is beautiful Bhagavatam, com piled by the great sage V yasa
deva [in his m aturity], is sufficient in itself for G o d realization.
W h at is the need o f any other scripture?” (Bhag. 1.1.2) Srila
Prabh upada adds: “R ealization is m ore im portan t th an parrot-
like ch an tin g .”
T h ere are various kinds o f gurus, V edic teachers, priests, and
brahmanas, an d all o f them serve a purpose w ithin a varnasram a
society. (O f course, we are n ot discussing those w ho teach bogus
doctrin es or who m isbehave in the nam e o f guru or brah m inical
statu s.) O f all the V edic teachers, the sad-guru, or pure devotee
o f K rsna w ho teach es us o f our eternal relationsh ip with G o d is
the m ost im portant. S u ch a guru is capable o f guiding us in the
p ractices o f sadhana-bhakti and helpin g us to elevate ourselves
gradually toward spon tan eous love o f G o d . H e is the essential
lin k to our going back to G odh ead.
T h e Bhagavatam refers to such a guru as “ the person bhdga-
v ata." H is spiritual advan cem en t is so com plete th at h is ch arac
ter co n tain s w ithin it the qualities o f brah m in ical life: peacefu l
ness, self-control, austerity, purity, tolerance, honesty, know l
edge, w isdom , an d religiousness. S till, he m ay or m ay not be
co n versan t with som e o f the karm a'kanda section s o f the Vedas.
T h a t is n o t a m easure o f his perfection. T h e real perfection o f
the sad-guru is th at he always rem em bers K rsna and never for
gets H im . O f all the rules and regulations, this one is forem ost:
smartavyah satatam visnur, vismartavyo na jatucit.
W hile praising H aridasa T h aku ra, Lord C a ita n y a stated th at
som e d evotees behave well but d o n ’t preach, w hile others
preach but d o n ’t behave well. H aridasa, however, did both o f
these things excellently. To do both is to be fully con versan t
w ith the essence o f V edic know ledge. T h is is more im portant
th an un derstandin g the ritualistic prescriptions for dharma,
kam a, an d artha.
A g a in S rila Prabhupada is a perfect exam ple o f one w ho has

un derstood the essence o f the Vedas and who preached Vedic
dharma w ithout em phasizing ritualistic practices. C a ste brah-
m anas criticized Prabhupada for this and for his aw arding his
W estern -born disciples w ith brahmana and sannyasa status. Srila
Prabhupada acted perfectly according to tim e, place, and per
son, how ever, as the em pow ered representative o f Lord C a i
tanya. It was n ot possible for him to follow all the rules and reg
u lation s o f V edic society in N ew York City. W here’s the sacred
river? T h e tulasi p lan t? T h e tem ple? If Prabhupada h ad been too
bound by the rules an d regulations o f his ow n sannyasa in itia
tion, he w ould n ot h ave been able to preach in the W est since
som e rituals claim th at a sannyasi is n ot supposed to cross the
ocean . N eith er w ould he h ave been able to rem ain in A m erica
where there was n o facility to perform daily rites. Prabhupada
was m ore interested in preaching. T herefore he was able to sur
vive in th e W est an d p reach K rsna consciousness. W hy?
Because he knew th at the V edic rituals were n ot the sam e as
perform ing pure devotion al service. Even w ithout them , d e v o
tees could learn to love G od.
A n d Prabhupada did introduce an abridged form o f Deity
w orship in the IS K C O N tem ples. N ow his disciples are adding
to the d etails, m aking the worship m ore elaborate and fixed.
U ltim ately, however, they too h ave been trained in the spirit o f
doin g w hat is favorable for spreading K rsna consciousn ess and
for our ow n devotio n al developm en t. If we becom e too absorbed
in rules an d regulation s w ithout understanding the poin t, it will
turn ou t -unfavorable for bhakti. R upa G o sv am i refers to this
m en tality as niyamagraha, or attach m en t to the letter o f the law
w ithout un derstandin g the law.
Prabh upada gave us a stream lined and yet p oten t p ractice o f
essen tial duties, as was his right to do as an em pow ered acarya.
W e do n o t need to add or subtract from his program . N eith er
should we th in k we are m issing anything by n ot perform ing the
m any rites an d sam skaras perform ed in H induism . Rather, we

can be co n fid en t th at w h atever'w e h ave not been given has
been deliberately om itted; better to con cen trate on w hat Pra
bh u p ad a did give an d never n eglect it.
It is inspiring to hear how Srila S u ta G o sv am i rem ained
absorbed in his study o f the Bhagavatam even at the expense of
know ing oth er portions o f the Vedas. If a devotee has the energy
an d interest to m ake h im self more qualified, better he use his
tim e to en ter deeper into bhakti rather th an to bran ch out into
learn in g V edic rites and rituals. O ur tim e (an d capacity to
un derstan d) is lim ited; we should pursue th at w hich is m ost
essen tial to us and helpful to others. Study o f the Bhagavatam is
listed in Bhakti-rasamrta'sindhu as one o f the m ost p oten t forms
o f d evotio n al service. We should n ot n eglect it in favor o f som e
th in g else.
W as Su k ad ev a G o sv am i or S u ta G o sv am i distracted by prob
lem s in the course o f their Bhagavatam recitation? M aybe the
field was m uddy because it rained, or dacoits surrounded the
cam p. T h e re ’s no m ention o f it. A ll we hear is w hat they spoke.
O ccasio n ally the Bhagavatam rem inds us o f the setting: M ah a
raja Pariksit, S u k ad ev a G o sv am i, the assem bled sages, the kin g’s
fasting, his lack o f fear in the face o f death. O ccasio n ally S u k a
deva praises him for his enthusiasm . O ccasion ally we hear that
som e persons present d id n ’t appreciate everything th at was
bein g said, especially w hen S u k ad ev a began to describe the
T en th C a n to pastim es w ith the gopis. Little glim pses o f a life
beyond the actu al hearing, but n ot m uch. I’d like to follow that
exam p le— tell w hat is already w ritten in Prabhupada’s purports
an d exp an d on it a little.
But I get d istracted and h ave to acknow ledge that. Yesterday
a d isciple wrote me an angry letter. H e w ants me to initiate his
wife. I said I w ould consider it but thought there were things
th at should be discussed first. S h e needs proper recom m en da
tion from the tem ple authorities; I d o n ’t even h ave a relatio n

ship w ith her; I w ondered how his m arriage is progressing since
it’s so new. I was looking for assurance, but I got anger. H e
rem inded me th at I h ad been a part o f the zonal acarya days, th at
I h ad h ad an exaggerated estim ation o f m yself as guru. H ow can
I say my sim ple m ed itation on the Bhagavatam h asn ’t been dis
turbed by this exchan ge?
Bein g criticized by my ow n disciple m akes me th ink about
how vuln erable I m ake m yself through my w riting. I supply the
am m u n ition for such attacks. “Ju st see.”
S o w hat? S h o u ld 1 stop writing?
W ell, I c a n ’t. I’m ju st n ot interested in parrotlike recitations,
and w hat else w ould there be to say? I h ave to speak my h on est
realization, and for me th at m eans con fession an d an h on est
tappin g o f the m ind as it flows. Everyone’s m ind picks up lint
here an d there unless they’re liberated. W e d o n ’t identify with
the lint, but we c a n ’t deny th at it’s there. I’m lookin g for the
co n n ectio n o f everything to K rsna.
H ead for the hills. Take cover in the Vedas. I accept service
from others and then they criticize me for doing so or for not giv
ing them w hat they want. D o they w ant m e to be a certain kind
o f sadhu, the kind who only says things they like to hear? O f
course, they would prefer I didn ’t cause trouble. W ell, I’m not
everyone’s guru, n ot everyone’s author, n ot even everyone’s friend
som etim es. But I am always the disciple o f H is D ivine G race.
Prabhupada stream lin ed the Vedas and practices for us. Do

w hat he taught. A n d d o n ’t im itate by m aking too m any ad ju st
m ents on your own. We h ave to use our ow n intelligence, true,
and we h ave to be con fiden t in the perm ission he gives for us to
d o that. A fte r all, we are unique persons and h ave to shape our
selves by his instructions into d evotees o f K rsna. A t the sam e
tim e, d o n ’t becom e som ething oth er th an a genuine G au diya
V aisn ava. W ear your sw eater m ade in C a n a d a and eat food

accord in g to your preferences (as long as it’s offerable to K rsn a),
an d follow your natural proclivities in service, but d o n ’t go
beyond the lim it.
T h is verse m en tion s th at S u ta w asn’t expert in every field.
W e get the im pression th at he w asn’t m issing anyth in g im por
tan t. W h at was m ost im portant was th at he heard from S u k a
deva G o sv a m i an d em phasized bhakti.
N ow som eone asks, “ H ow can we ascertain from w hom we
should hear from am on g the d evotees in IS K C O N ? Som etim es
devotees w ith specific expertise or charism a give a wrong em
phasis an d we m ay be m isled from the real siddhanta o f Prabhu
p a d a ’s presen tatio n .”
A la s. R ead Prabh upada’s books. T h e n we w on’t be misled.
T h in k in g again about th at disciple who criticized me. I’m
sorry I hurt him by question in g the solidity o f his m arriage, but
w hen you ap proach som eone as guru, he has a right to com e
dow n on you. H e does it for yobr betterm en t and training. You
c a n ’t find fault with him for it (even if he d oesn ’t know som e
portion s o f the V edas): It requires trust. It even requires a little
blind faith. W e h ave to be prepared to h ave our ow n vision aug
m en ted an d cleared.
I am feeling good about my service in IS K C O N . I am a writer

and I ad m itted it to a brother ju st like that. T h e n I th ought per
h aps I h ad said too m uch. O ur vo cation (callin g) is som eth ing
we w ant to keep private.
A nyw ay here I am , asserting it again. I just found a strong
statem en t o n this them e in H enry M iller’s Big Sur and the
Oranges o f Hieronymus Bosch. M iller talks about finding the
level from w hich to reach the reading public. H e writes, “T h e
m ost im portan t th in g is how to reach the public, or better, how
to create your ow n public. It still rem ains to be faced. W ithout
a public, it’s suicide. N o m atter how sm all, there has to be an
audien ce. I m ean, an appreciative, enth usiastic audience, a
selective au dien ce.”
He goes on to say:
The writer who wants to communicate with his fellow man, and
thereby establish communion with him, has only to speak with
sincerity and directness. He has not to think about literary stan
dards— he will make them as he goes along— he has not to
think about trends, vogues, markets, acceptable ideas or unac
ceptable ideas: he has only to deliver himself, naked and vul
nerable. A ll that constricts and restricts him, to use the lan
guage of not-ness, his fellow reader, even though he may not be
an artist, feels with equal despair and bewilderment. The world
presses down on all alike. Men are not suffering from the lack of
good literature, good art, good theater, good music, but from
that which has made it impossible for these to become manifest.
In short, they are suffering from the silent, shameful conspiracy
(the more shameful since it is unacknowledged) which has
bound them together as enemies of art and artists. They are suf
fering from the fact that art is not the primary moving force in their
lives [emphasis added]. They are suffering from the act, repeated
daily, of keeping up the pretense that they can go their way, lead
their lives, without art. They never dreamed— or they behave as
if they never realized— that the reason why they feel sterile frus
trated and joyless is because art (and with it the artist) has been
ruled out of their lives. For every artist who has been assassi
nated thus (unwittingly?) thousands of ordinary citizens, who
might have known a normal joyous life, are condemned to lead
a purgatorial existence of neurotics, psychotics, and schizo
phrenics. N o, the man who’s about to blow his top does not
have to fix his eye on The Iliad, The Divine Comedy, or any other
great model; he has only to give us, in his own language, the
saga of his woes and tribulations, the saga of his nonexistential
ism. In this mirror of not-ness everyone will recognize himself
for what he is as well as what he is not. He will no longer be able
to hold his head up either before his children or before his
neighbors; he will have to admit that he— not the other
fellow— is that terrible person who is contributing, wittingly or
unwittingly, to the speedy downfall and disintegration of his
own people. . . . who will print such books? Who will publish
and disseminate them?
N o one!
You will have to do it yourself, dear man, or do as Homer did:
travel the highways and byways with a white cane, singing your
song as you go.
T h is room is h eated by a w ood stove. I fell asleep w hile

ch an tin g today— it was too h ot in here. C o ld outside, though.
T h e m ud ruts are frozen rigid and the ponds and puddles are
co ated w ith w hite ice. H ave you seen how ice particles stretch
s %
into a sh eet over a poth ole and th ere’s n oth in g un dern eath
th em but air? W hen you step on them , they break like ch in a
plates. I usually try to let them be.
I h ad a plan to
invite everyone to tea,
M ad H atter an d A lice
and W orm Badger M ouse,
K en n eth G rah am , H an s A ndersen,
S K , H enry M iller and
even M ickey M ouse.
(M ickey M an tle, rest in peace.)
B ut you c a n ’t m ix company, the

editor says. You either attend
to sages m eetin g in the forest,
or go to the silly m eeting in your head.
S h e e ts o f w ater freeze
this page receives strokes
o f ink. I use the sam e right arm
to carry logs, hug them in
my left arm too
w hile the w ater p ot boils and
overflow s, pff! Pff!
steam in g o n to the h ot iron stove.
Sw am i m et us w hen we were young an d said kindly (he

w asn’t yet our boss), “T h is m usic is non sen se because it’s sense
gratificatio n .”
Sen se gratification ? W h at’s that?
“ It m eans you get pleasure from it, but it’s not con n ected to
Lord K rsna in devotio n al service.”
Oh.
T h a t’s it. A rgu m en t ended. W ho w ants to com m it sense grat
and be left ou t on a lim b w ith no co n n ection to Lord K rsna? N o
one in his right m ind w ould do that. N o one who has read Easy
Journal to Other Planets and received a glim pse o f tran scen den
tal eternity.
For I love you, O eternity
an d I w ant to please the Sw am i and
be a fixed-up devotee
ch an tin g my red beads.
It’s a problem . You ch an t in a rut. You w alk up the hill tak

ing sm all steps lest you slide and fall on the w hite ice-snow.
Little steps up an d little steps down, alw ays seeking firm earth,
tripping o n ruts fixed firm ly in m ud, ch an tin g your rounds, fo rc
ing yourself, facin g yourself. I intend to break through one day.
C rash ! B oot
on ice-air sheet.
T h e verse: the sages praising S u ta although he d id n ’t know
everything. Im agine that, co n gratu lating him for not know ing
everything because he had spent his tim e cu ltivatin g Bhag-
avatam study. G o o d for him.
O h , th at I w on’t waste my tim e. I’m in the final stages o f life.
Life is in evitably dow nhill from here on. It’s only a question o f
how fast and how rocky the slope is as the toboggan crashes to
the finish line. W ill I get up after the crash, raise my hands in
the air to signal th at I’m okay, an d then m ove on?
I d o n ’t know. I only know w hat m akes the grasses grow

w hat ticks the clock
I only know
the croon er’s sen tim en tal line, the song, “ I love you,”
saps th at we are.
T h a t’s all I know. Four nam es o f Krsna. T h a t I was born and
will die. T h a t I w ant to serve Krsna. T h a t a Sw am i cam e and
captured us.
T h a t’s all.
M akin g lists, adm issions, riding the merry-go-round, writ.

K in d lin g w ood on floor, and crum pled Kamloops new spapers to
start the fire. I th ought you ought to know.
Lo op in g back to the Bhagavatam, where we belong.
A g a in an d again pass the boundaries o f skepticism . A brother

said, “People m ay n ot th ink o f me as a doubting person, but it is
my nature to doubt everyth ing.” H e m ade it sound as if he had
undergone doubt thoroughly and given it up. Soun ded healthy.
For m e, I live with tw inges o f doubt like the twinges o f pain
beh in d my right eye. I’ll probably never be rid o f them in this
lifetim e. I told M adhu this m orning th at w henever I exert
m yself physically, such as in the final back stretch o f a surya-
nam askara, I tend to feel a tw inge beh in d my right eye. T h is
in dicates to me th at the h eadach e w eakness, like my crippled
ankle, will n ever be “cured.” It’s the aging body and it has its
lim its. H e agreed, referred to “our late stage o f life.” I’m like an
old car with p atch ed tires. T h e only way to fix them now is to
get new ones. N atu re C u re ’s Laksh m an S arm a ch allenged Srila
Prabh upada at a Bom bay pandal in 1977 (w hen Prabhupada had
to be carried on stage): “W h at about h ealth ?”
S rila Prabhupada blasted back: “ W hat health ? You’re going
to die. W here is there any question o f h ealth ?”
Twinges, but they’re not

overriding. T h ey don ’t define
me. I grew up in this culture
and it clings to me like a
handicap. I take som e m edi
cin e occasio n ally for my
behind-the-eye pain. Is there
such a thing as a doubt-killing
pill? N o , I have to live with it.
I R em em b er
I rem em ber I w anted to be a d evotee an d I wrote a poem
about separation . A girl in the welfare office liked it. I rem em
ber th at too. W e rem em ber ourselves in so m any ways, our lives.
D o you rem em ber th at feeling o f returning to your gross body
w hen you decided to get m arried? Sw am iji decided it. B etter if
it h ad n ot h appen ed, but no, everything was m ean t to be.
I heard a tape today where S rila Prabhupada said, “Krsna,
Ju ly 1 9 6 9 ” an d I rem em bered th at it was A u g u st, after
Jan m astam I, th at the thugs attack ed the tem ple in A llsto n . I
th ought. “O h , I could be back there in Ju ly o f ’69 an d h ave to
live through th at attack again .”
I rem em ber w hen I w asn’t a devotee.
B etter n ot to rem em ber it. R em em ber good things. I rem em
ber the Bhagavatam. Tom orrow we’ll discuss the overlapping
m illennium s.
Sw am iji cam e to the storefront. I rem em ber him looking
cross in V rn d avan a the year the K rish n a-B alaram tem ple
opened. H e said, “W hy aren ’t my books bein g published? You
are sev en teen volum es beh in d .” It was the m ost im portant
thing. H is kurta bu tton s were brass or gold studs an d he w asn’t
w earing them , his shirt open. I was afraid o f his anger. I said,
“W hy d o n ’t you go to H aw aii? You can write th ere.” But I had
m isunderstood. B rah m an an d a corrected me, “T h a t’s n ot the
point. S rila Prabhupada asked why he should write. H e ’s n ot

enth u siastic because we are n ot publishing the book s.”
Oh.
I rem em ber crying w hen he reprim anded me. T h a t was a bril
lian t day. I w ish I could live for him always in th at m ood.
I rem em ber K rsna and bring my m ind back to the holy nam e.
I rem em ber death . I hope I rem em ber to go to V rndavana
and to w rite fast an d to publish w h at’s best.
R em em ber K rsna, Krsna,
K rsna
G o p a la G u ru Sw am i statue in Puri,
h otels there, surf,
alone, w riting
an d the h appin ess I felt.
Text 14
suta uvaca
dvapare samanuprapte
trtiye yuga-paryaye
jatah parasarad yogi
vasavyam kalaya hareh
Suta Gosvami said: When the second millennium overlapped

the third, the great sage [Vyasadeva] was born to Parasara in
the womb of Satyavati, the daughter of Vasu.
Comment
S tartin g w ith text 2 o f this chapter, S au n ak a R si h as been
askin g q uestion s about how and w hen V yasadeva began the
Bhagavatam , and how was he inspired to com pile it. H e has also
asked m ore about S u k ad eva G o sv am i and his adventures. How
did he m eet M ah araja Pariksit? H ow did M ah araja Pariksit
com e to give up everything and go to hear the Srim ad'
Bhagavatam w hile fastin g to d eath on the ban k o f the G an ges?

N o w S u ta G o sv am i begins his reply.
First we hear som e basic facts about V yasadeva’s birth. He
w as the son o f Parasara M uni and S aty av ati, an d he was born
w hen the m illennium s overlapped. H ere the word “m illen nium ”
refers to “ yuga”. N orm ally, the yugas follow a particular order:
Satya, D vapara, Treta, and K ali, but during V aiv asvata M anu's
reign, in the tw enty-eighth cycle o f the yugas, the usual
ch ro n o lo g y w as altered an d T reta-y u ga a p p eared before
D vapara-yuga. In the purport Prabhupada explain s why the
yugas overlapped: “ In th at particular m illennium , Lord Sri
K rsna also descends, an d because o f this there was som e p artic
ular alteration .”
It is easy enough to m emorize the nam es o f the yugas and the
order in w hich they appear, and even to rem em ber the basic
ch aracteristics an d the length o f each m illennium . Satya-yuga is
the golden age, an d it lasts for 1,728,000 years. It is ch aracter
ized by people living a hundred percen t in the m ode o f g o o d
ness. T h e average life exp ectan cy o f a h um an bein g during
Satya-yu ga is one hundred thousand years. T h a t life span, along
w ith the predom in ance o f goodness, dim inish w ith each ensu
ing yuga. T herefore, the yugas are som etim es com pared to sea
son al ch an ges takin g place on a universal scale.
If we scrutinize this topic in an analytical way, particularly in
regards to the m ath em atics o f it, various questions m ay arise. For
exam ple, how im portan t is it to know about the yugas as we try
to advan ce in K rsna consciousness?
C ertainly, basic know ledge is im portant an d useful, because
it m ay provide us w ith answ ers w hen previously we had none.
O n the oth er h an d, if we find ourselves facing co n tradictions
th at bew ilder us, we m ay h ave to acknow ledge the in co n ceiv
able nature o f th e Vedas an d leave it at that. W e sim ply h ave to
h ave faith th at although more in form ation is always available
through the V edic com m entators, S rila Prabhupada has already
culled from it w hat is m ost useful to us.
T herefore, we should neither depen d on nor reject tech n ical

know ledge o f the universe and its workings in our attem pts to
practice bhakti. Bhakti is n ot sen tim en tal; it is a scien ce. Besides
th at, we are preachers, and as such, we need to becom e equ ip
ped w ith even tech n ical inform ation to defy m aterialistic th e o
ries. For our usual purposes, however, it is also interesting to
n ote the cycle o f yugas so th at we can know w hen K rsna’s in car
n atio n s appear.
T ech n ical details are difficult to memorize. H ow m any M anus
appear in a day o f Brahm a? How m any yuga cycles con stitute a
divya-yuga? T h e facts slip from our m em ories because we d on ’t
find them so useful. W h at is im portant to rem em ber is that
K rsna is the universal controller; H e arranges the yuga cycles b e
cause H e is the cause o f all causes. Furtherm ore, we who inhabit
these yugas are all eternal spirit souls, tiny jivas who h ave fallen
under mama’s influence. W hether we appear in Satya-yuga or
Kali-yuga, we do n ot belong in this m aterial world. If by study
ing the ch aracteristics o f the yugas we can realize that, realize our
precarious p osition as we cycle from S aty a to T reta to D vapara to
K ali, th en we will w ant to inquire from the pure devotee how to
extricate ourselves from the whole thing. T herefore, even tech
n ical study o f the facts and figures listed about the nature o f tim e
and the creation and the structure o f the universe should h elp us
to realize th at it’s tim e to get out. If we did n ’t study w ith this
inten tion , then it w ould be sim ilar to studying the details o f a
prison cell w hen we h ave no hope o f parole.
A n interesting feature about the tim e o f V yasadeva’s birth is
th at it is close to the tim e o f K rsn a’s appearance. T h is adds
m ean in g to the understanding th at K rsna and V y a sa'co llab o
rated to prepare the Vedas. A lth o u gh V yasadeva appeared as the
son o f a fish erm an ’s daughter, we know th at he is a saktyaiiesa
in carn atio n o f the Personality o f G o d h ead , an d his birth was
n o t ordinary. Som eh ow because o f his birth into the world, the
great sage becom es som eone w ith w hom we can relate. Vedic
inform ation does n ot descend in entirely mysterious ways. Rather,

it is brought into this world by empowered beings. Here, Su ta
G o sv am i presents us with a few details about V yasadeva so that
we can becom e attracted to him and then to his book.
Yugas an d m illennium s. S it up an d read. Be a student, a

scholar. E x p lain things as best you can . C ertain ly I becom e
overw helm ed by the tech n ical details som etim es. T h ey d o n ’t
always seem relevan t either to me or my audience. But we are
d estin ed to exp lain the ways o f G o d to m an, as Jo h n M ilton put
it. W h atever Prabhupada w ants us to understand, we accept.
T h e M ahabharata tells us th at V yasadeva wore m atted hair
an d deerskin clothin g. S o m any books are attributed to him that
som e sch olars d o n ’t even believe he exists. T hey h ave decided
th at m any w riters com piled the Vedas over the centuries. But
th ey’re wrong. V yasadeva com piled them all during his rela
tively brief lifetim e. H e is incon ceivable.
V yasa, old V edavyasa, bearded Vyasa, perfect Vyasa, you are
w isdom personified and you tasted the n ectar o f the Srimad-
Bhagavatam. You are S u k ad e v a’s father, em pow ered by Krsna,
an d through the sb k as you have given us, you enter our blood
an d m inds. I w ant to live by your words. W hen Srila Prabhu
pada was asked w hat he th ought o f R abin dranath Tagore, he
said, “ W e are interested in a poet like V yasadeva.” Please,
V yasadeva, allow me to share your vision.
1 like to th ink o f S rila Prabhupada thrilling to the beauty of
V yasad eva’s com position s. H e said th at even in term s o f literary
quality, every word was perfect. He expressed his appreciation
on ce w hile recitin g the verse, sam asrita ye pada-pallava'plavarh,
mahat-padam punya-yaso murareh/ bhavambudhir vatsa'padarh
param padam , padam padam yad vipadam na tesdm: “For those
who h ave accep ted the bo at o f the lotus feet o f the Lord, who is
the shelter o f the cosm ic m an ifestation and is fam ous as Murari,
the enem y o f the M ura dem on, the cce a n o f the m aterial world
is like the w ater con tain ed in a c a lf’s hoofprint. T h e ir goal is

pararh padam, V aikuntha, the place where there are no m aterial
m iseries, n ot the place where there is danger at every step.”
(Bhdg. 1 0.14.58) M usical poetry, rhythm ic, m etered, full o f asso
n ance an d m etaphor.
H is T en th C a n to verses excel even further:
pranata-dehinam papa-karsanam
trna-caranugam sn-niketanam
phani-phanarpitarh te padambujam
kmu kucesu nah krndhi hrc-chayam
Your lotus feet destroy the past sins of all embodied souls who
surrender to them. Those feet follow after the cows in the pas
tures and are the eternal abode of the goddess of fortune. Since
You once put those feet on the hoods of the great serpent
Kaliya, please place them upon our breasts and tear away the
lust in our hearts.
— Bhdg. 10.31.7
O r this one:
tava kathamrtam tapta-jivanam

kavibhir iditam kalmasapaham
sravana-marigalarh srimad atatam
bhuvi grnanti ye bhuri-dd janah
The nectar of Your words and the descriptions of Your activities

are the life and soul of those suffering in this material world.
These narrations, transmitted by learned sages, eradicate one’s
sinful reactions and bestow good fortune upon whoever hears
them. These narrations are broadcast all over the world and are
filled with spiritual power. Certainly those who spread the mes
sage of Godhead are most munificent.
— Bhdg. 10.31.9
V yasa’s S an sk rit is beyond an ignorant fool like me. I know

only A m erican English. I even like my m other tongue and am
proud to use it because English is such a flexible language,
allow ing m ore in ven tiven ess th an languages w ith ponderous
gram m atical structures.
U n fortunately, English is also filled w ith the con sciousn ess o f
m eat-eaters an d thieves. Its th eistic term inology is C h ristian
and n ot broad-based. Anyway, we use it the best we can.
Fortunately, S rila Prabhupada preached in English, so it has
becom e the language o f m odern-day K rsna consciousness, even
m ore th an San skrit. O r we say th at San sk rit and English are
com bin ed for divine expression. (T h a t has actually becom e true
o f an yon e’s m other tongue, by Prabh upada’s grace, because the
Vedas are sruti, n ot San skriti.)
A writer has to take the language he knows by heart, from
birth, the language of his learning and his love and h ate, and use
it to express K rsna consciousness. H is struggle to attain Krsna
consciousness is best evoked in his ow n tongue. Therefore, I seek
purity, artistry, and release through the English language.
But words are things too. W e have to use them in K rsn a’s ser
vice or use them in the service o f m aya. W ords can free us or
entangle us further. M aya has illusioned alm ost all world writers.
T h ey are captured by words, languages, structures, poeticism s.
T h e y becom e v ain creatures w ho love the sound o f their own
voices. O r they becom e bew ildered by their ow n creativity,
claim in g ow nership over it. W e have to be careful.
W ords— long useless talks about n othing. Prajalpa. Egoistic
talks. A m an tries to attract a w om an or to win votes w ith his
words. H e speculates, fantasizes, talks endlessly to n o accoun t. I
wish to be free from those traps.
I do believe in evokin g K rsna con sciousn ess through words.
W ords can evoke m ental and em otion al states, and n ot only in
the egotistical sense. T h ey can describe experience and thereby
link people together by the com m on thread th at runs through

all our lives. K rsna says H e is the sound in ether. W hen we per
ceive H is existen ce and express it with our words, we feel the
w onder o f th at statem en t. Language becom es a way to evoke
K rsna. “ Krsna, K rsna, K rsna.” Sam asrita ye pada pallava-plavam ,
mahat-padam punya-yaso murareh . . .
S k in n y M erink writes until 2 A .M ., his Sheaffer pen skidding

across the page (it’s n ot a four-wheel drive). H e squeaks u n
to death.
I fly
but th en ground m yself
in K rsn a’s dom ain.
I’m n ot a m adm an an
actor
a statesm an
a clow n.
I am full o f m etaphors, blood
and h ave h an ds with bony veins.
T h is mystery m an
d escen d an t o f Vyasa
in disciplic succession, a
pip-squeak sage
w riting with brahmana thread
looped over his torso. A m
I now here?
N o , I’m here, in the light o f a battery-run lam p, in a cabin,
in the snow, a piping h ot jiva full o f glee,
a flute player in the pit.
I was listening to Srila Prabhupada d ictatin g the Krsna book,

Lord B rah m a’s prayers, and I felt I w anted to say som eth ing in
my ou>n words. His words, o f course, are better th an anything 1
could express, but on h earing the tape I w asn’t able to feel my

faith deeply enough. H is words urged me to express myself, my
actu al feelings, my personal prayer. It’s n ot sastra, I know, but
my self.
I d o n ’t th in k we should underestim ate the pow er of our own
words to h elp us. T h e y are n ot a lesser form o f bhakti if they are
uttered in sincerity for K rsn a’s pleasure or our ow n purification.
It’s how we express sm aranam : we reiterate our kirtanam or e x
press our attempts to hear our broken-w inged flight.
Prabh upada was speaking as Lord Brahm a, who prayed to be
born in a future life as a devotee. B rahm a saw th at one could
even be born as an an im al or a blade o f grass and still be an in ti
m ate d evotee o f K rsna if he was fortunate enough to becom e a
V rajavasl. B rah m a prayed for such a birth rather th an to be born
again as a Brahm a.
W h at I liked about this section, however, was th at Srila Pra
bh u pada was speaking in his ow n words as if he were Lord
Brahm a. Sw am iji in 1969, d ictatin g the Krsna book. I listen now
even as I pull out my A yurvedic m edicines and line them up for
my m orn in g ingestion.
H ead ach e. H ad to rest and h ad this dream :

A little girl about four years old was talking with her m other
before goin g to sleep. S h e told her m other how at sch ool that
day she h ad taken off all her cloth es dow n to her underwear.
T h e m other was m ortified, n ot only th at her daughter would do
such a tfyn g, but th at she had allow ed h erself to becom e so vu l
n erable in front o f others. O f course, she told her child she
sh ould n ’t h av e don e it, and she w ondered how the others in the
classroom perceived her daughter now.
N ow aw ake I h ave to ask m yself w hether th at dream held any
m essage for me th at w ould be useful in my life. Im m ediately
the phrase “n aked and vu ln erable” com es to m ind, som eth ing
I quoted earlier from H enry M iller. I identified with th at
statem en t; I w ant to write nakedly and to be as vulnerable as

possible. I spoke with M adhu about it. H e advised th at such
w riting was fine, but 1 shouldn ’t publish it. W hy open m yself to
attack from un sym path etic readers? Perhaps my dream self was
p oin tin g this “co n flict” out. Perhaps my “adult” self is m ortified
by my n aive or ch ild-like writing. D oes th at “ch ild ” h ave to be
corrected? I’m n ot always sure.
S ag es w alk n aked— Sukadeva, R sabh adeva— but they are also
detach ed enough that w hen others spit on them or m ock them ,
they tolerate it. O nly a sage can walk naked; others would be
throw n into jail.
But w hat does “walk n aked ” m ean? A devotee has to m ake
h im self vuln erable before K rsna. T h a t vulnerability is the way
he claim s his d epen den ce on G o d . W ho was this child in my
dream ? Is she som eone strong? Som eo n e wiser th an her m other?
W as her act sym bolic and therefore edifying? D id her beh avior
reflect the sadhu’s nature where he hides n othing and m aintains
no hypocrisy?
Bew are the ides o f M arch. I am percolatin g with the desire to

write today, but I’m being careful because I h ave a h eadache.
M aybe I’ll do better tomorrow. A short purport com in g up.
A p p le-raisin crum b pie too. If you ca n ’t prevent pain, th en b e t
ter to see it as worthy a m essenger as the pain-free life. C a n you
hear w hat it has to say?
Footfalls crunching through
the snow. M y clean laundry. O
Vyasadeva, I am now going to
sleep. C a n I m eet you at m id
night not at your Badarikasram a
cave but in my m ind and in my
spiritual m aster’s purports?
Text 15
sa kadacit sarasvatya
upasprsya jalam sucih
vivikta eka aslna
udite ravi-inandale
Once upon a time he [Vyasadeva], as the sun rose, took his

morning ablution in the waters of the Sarasvati and sat alone
to concentrate.
Comment
S u ta G o sv a m i sets the scene. It’s sunrise at Badarikasram a.
V yasadeva h as ju st bathed in the S arasv ati R iver and is now sit
ting alo n e “ to co n cen trate.” Prabhupada states th at Vyasa still
lives at S am yap rasa in the H im alayas. Further eviden ce to prove
this is th at M ad h vacarya w ent to B adarikasram a in the 12th
century an d received direct instruction on Bhagavad-gita and
Srim ad'Bhagavatam from Srila V yasadeva. T h u s in the disciplic
succession we see V yasadeva listed as M adh vacarya’s guru.
For those who still doubt the truth o f Prabhupada’s statem ent,
S ad ap u ta Prabhu explain s that there are m any dim ensions
w ithin this world, not all o f them visible to our eyes. In other
words, V yasadeva can exist on the earth plane but n ot exactly
w ithin the co n text o f ordinary tim e and space. O ur senses can
perceive only one or two dim ensions. V rn davan a is the entire
spiritual world m anifest, but how m uch o f it can we see?
Pilgrim s still go to Badarikasram a during the warmer seasons.
In w inter it is inaccessible due to snow and ice. T h ere they take
darsana o f S rila V yasadeva in his miirti form accordin g to their
faith an d realization. If the n on devotee or research sch olar a p
proach es the asram a, however, he will see only m ountains and
his ow n em pty h eart and flickering m ind.
A n yon e w ho has m ade the arduous pilgrim to Badarik-

asram a, or w ho has heard about it, can visualize this scene as we
read it. It is high in the m ountains where the air is cold and
clear an d pure w ater flows nearby. We can h ear the w ind and
feel the cold, but w e’re in a renounced m ood, so we d o n ’t feel
the austerity o f the place. W e have to perform vairagya to
app roach V yasadeva. H ow else will we hear the holy sounds o f
Vedic m an tras being ch an ted by V yasadeva and his disciples?
T h o se holy sounds rise up from the valleys into the ethereal
atm osph ere o f the snow -capped m ountains. T h is feels like the
h eart o f the universe, and there lives the great sage Vyasa, still
m editatin g for the w orld’s welfare.
It appears from the Snmad-Bhagavatam (as will be described in
later chapters) that V yasadeva com pleted his work on earth many
years ago. H e divided the Vedas into four, wrote M ahabharata, and
finally, the Srimad-Bhagavatam. W hy does he rem ain in this
world? O nly one who can enter the inner m eaning o f Vyasadeva’s
teachings can answer that question. Vyasadeva rem ains to fulfill
K rsna’s purpose, and his m ission is confidential. V yasadeva lives
in the transcendental realm even while the m undane “reality” of
twenty-first century life continues.
Badarikasram a is now agitated by Indian n atio n al politics.
W estern devotees are no longer allow ed to visit V yasadeva’s
cave. T h e way is no longer guarded by forbidding m ountains but
by p olicem en and soldiers. S till, V yasadeva m editates in the
early m orn in g w hen the sun is beginning to rise an d the birds
ju st b egin n in g to sing. T h e atm osphere is still sim ple and time-
h onored. But w hat effect can this lonely herm it in his rem ote
herm itage h ave on the sufferings and pleasures o f the billions o f
people all over the world? W hat is the power o f his prayer? D oes
it m ove the Lord to spare the foolish?
S u ch asram as are the center o f the world, and yes, prayer is
powerful enough to evoke the Lord’s mercy. T h o m as M erton
used to say th at his m onastery in K entucky was the h eart o f
A m erica, n ot W ashington, D .C . or N ew York City. Bhagavad'gitd

says th at w herever sincere d evotees perform sankirtana and pray
to Krsna, spiritual energy is generated and everyone benefits.
S om etim es d evotees equate “spiritual energy” w ith the a c tiv
ity o f goin g out and savin g people. H ere is an oth er definition.
W ho can call V yasad eva’s bhajana in activity or consider his
rem ote asram a in con sequen tial? Preaching is done on m any dif
ferent levels.
O f course, we’re talking about Vyasadeva, a powerful sage.
W h at about us? If we perform private bhajana, will it have any
effect? Prabhupada em phasized the gosthyanandi spirit over the
bhajananandi. H e sent his preachers to the cities. A t the sam e
tim e, he encouraged d evotees to develop asram as in rural areas.
T h ere the quiet work o f prayer an d cow protection, agriculture
and D eity worship, m ay be carried out. N o action in this world
is inconsequential. E ach m ovem ent flows outward and affects
others. T h o se acts th at are done to please K rsna h ave a purifying
effect on the ether. W hen K rsna is pleased, everyone is pleased.
Prabhupada once exp lain ed th at in India an ideal co m b in a
tion is m ade o f scen ic places an d spiritual acts. For exam ple, a
tem ple will be con structed in a beautiful m ountain ous area or
som e oth er scen ic location . T h u s n ature’s bounty and the tran
scen d en tal ediface com bin e to inspire us in G o d consciousness.
Sim ilarly, a devotee, w ho is like a tem ple o f the Lord, m ay go to
a tranquil setting, taking ad van tage o f its peaceful environm ent,
th ink o f K rsna there, and pray to K rsna for the w orld’s deliver
ance. T h is is effected by the yuga-dharma, by ch an tin g the H are
K rsna maha-mantra.
For the m ost part, devotees in the K rsna con sciousn ess m ove
m en t prefer to ch an t japa and kirtana with oth er devotees in
tem ple com m unities, w hich they usually locate in areas o f dense
population . Few o f us are herm its; n eith er is it necessary or even
recom m ended th at we be. But in the excep tion al cases where
we see som eon e perform ing solitary bhajana, we sh ouldn ’t be
scorn ful or th ink th at they are n ot preaching. N eith er should

we be afraid to take ad van tage o f opportunities afforded us to
m ake retreats in a natural setting. W e are surrounded by K rsn a’s
n atural beauty. H e H im self advises us to see H im in the light o f
the sun, in the songs o f birds an d the fragrance o f flowers. By
allow ing the w aves o f goodness to w ash over us in such a setting,
we can som etim es put aside our passion an d reach deeper into
our K rsna con scious m editation on the holy nam e and the sari-
kirtana m ission. W e should take advan tage o f w hatever im pels
our K rsna consciousness.
O f course, the best place to perform solitary bhajana is Vrnda-
van a-d h am a. A lth o u gh ordinary devotees visit V rn davan a and
can n o t taste the spiritual em otions being expressed there by the
pure d evotees, they are gradually purified by repeated respectful
visits. Even tually we m ay all perceive K rsna’s presence and w it
ness H is p astim es as they are being perform ed at every m om ent.
U n fortunately, as Kali-yuga progresses, the dhamas becom e less
and less accessible. S till, by m aking a sincere pilgrim age, we can
con tin u e to feel K rsn a’s presence even in our neophyte way. A s
Prabh upada writes, “T h is feeling about M athura-m an dala and
V rn d avan a described by R upa G o sv am i can actually be felt even
by n on devotees. . . . T h ese statem en ts by R upa G o sv am i are fa c
tually realized descriptions o f M athura and V rn davana. A ll
these qualities prove th at M athura and V rn davan a are situated
transcendentally. O therw ise, there would be no possibility o f
in vokin g our tran scen den tal sen tim en ts in these places. S u ch
tran scen d en tal feelings are aroused im m ediately and w ithout
fail after on e arrives in M athura or V rn d avan a.” (N O D , p. I l l )
A sid e from m aking pilgrim age, we should live as if we are
residin g in the dhama at all tim es. V yasadeva rose early, per
form ed m orn in g ablution s, and sat in m editation. Su ch prac
tices allow us to co n tact the m ode o f goodness and eventually
to gain access to the transcendental plane. W e should never
th ink the standards o f clean lin ess and the various pujas Srila
Prabhupada recom m ended are ordinary. B ath in g the body leads

to b ath in g the m ind. R egulation quiets the senses and helps us
to avoid physical illness. G o o d h ealth and quiet senses give us
the strength an d focus we need to keep the m ind fixed on spir
itual su b ject m atter.
Even if our lives require th at we h ave to go out and raise
m oney to support a family, or we h ave oth er dem ands upon our
tim e, we should rise early, bathe the body with water, and bathe
the m ind w ith the holy nam e. T h is is the only way to avoid
superficiality in our spiritual practices. W e can draw our in spi
ration for quiet, alone m editation from S rila V yasadeva.
I h ave never been to Badarikasram a. I m et som e devotees in

V rn d avan a recently who had ju st returned from visiting the
H im alayas. T h ey were sim ple devotees from the C arib bean .
A lth o u g h they were forbidden by soldiers to visit V yasadeva’s
cave, they gently persisted an d the pious soldiers finally allow ed
th em to enter. But they d id n ’t feel anything. N o th in g earth-
sh atterin g h appen ed to them .
A fte r they left, they returned by train to V rndavan a. O n e o f
them got sick and alm ost died. W h at does it all m ean? It m eans
we are all h an kering for genuine spiritual experience, but it’s not
ch eap. V isitin g Badarikasram a is n ot like atten din g a seance. It

is n ot a psychic experience. N o th in g m ay ch ange. W e sim ply
h ave to rem ain fixed in a life o f ch an tin g an d hearing. T h a t’s
the real m iracle and the fulfillm ent o f V yasadeva’s m ission.
A fte r yesterday’s twenty-hour h eadach e, I was n ot so in

clin ed to get up at m idnight and do my reading and writing. I
w as w orried th at it w ould cause the pain to return. I d o n ’t so
m uch m ind the p ain as I m ind th at the day is w asted. But w hat
else can I do? It’s n ot in my control. A s V yasadeva rose each
m orn in g to co n cen trate, so I will also. V yasadeva didn ’t worry
th at he w asn’t feelin g well and think he should sleep late.
Today is Ekadasi, so I skipped breakfast to chant. H i is room is
overh eated, and I ca n ’t control that either. It’s either too cold or
too hot. It rained during the night and the sound com forted me.
“O n ce upon a tim e,” S u ta begins. T h a t old fairy tale line.

D o esn ’t th at m ean the storyteller is about to fabricate a story? I
used to be em barrassed because Srila Prabhupada used that
phrase in the Krsna book. How can we believe in som ething that
begins, “O n ce upon a tim e” ? But there’s n othing objection able
about the phrase itself, I guess. Ju st my W estern conditioning.
O n ce upon a tim e it was M arch 15, 1996, and I woke in the
m iddle o f the nigh t and heard the rain. I thought, “Finally my
h eadach e is gone, but m aybe I sh ouldn ’t get up yet to study.”
O n ce upon a tim e it was M arch 15, 1996, and I rose som ew hat
reluctantly and threw a few logs on the fire because it was chilly.
O n ce upon a tim e I turned on the battery-run light, w hich
m ade a sm all pool over my desk. I read the tw o-sentence purport
describing V yasadeva at Badarikasram a and tried to conjure up
an auspicious im age to help the reader see.
O n ce upon a tim e it was spring thaw at Saran agati. D evotees
lived in houses scattered over hundreds o f acres, com ing to
gether som etim es to discuss their gardens and how to push on
with their devotional lives. T hey were convinced th at rural living

was an im portant contribution to the sanklrtarw. m ovem ent. If
they could sink roots into the soil here and practice self-
sufficiency, their project would becom e an exam ple for the whole
world. A fter all, som e predicted, the whole m odern civilization is
doom ed to collapse in the very near future. People will be forced
to live more simply, to grow their own food— or else they’ll die. If
and w hen that happens, the devotees will be seen as brilliant
social leaders. I wondered, “W ill bands o f ruffians roam the coun
tryside, plundering the peaceful devotees’ hom es?”
O n ce upon a tim e, despite the tide o f events, w ithout th in k
ing th at it was futile, S atsv aru p a dasa wrote his m essage to
the world.
O Ekadasi day—
life as usual.
W h at about the gentle
and aspiring and som e
tim es troubled souls who
try to live as devotees?
W h at about the extrao r
dinary and in som e ways
to o-q u ick d e v e lo p m e n t
of ISK C O N in R ussia?
W h at about the beets in a friend’s garden and the fact th at the
tendrils are strain in g to reach the sunlight but there’s never
enough o f it?
Eka— one. O n e-m in ded. O n ce upon a time. T h e spiritual
dim en sion is open.
M ore on the car accident. O ur typist did not :.ill asleep at the
w heel, she says, but was driving too fast dow nhill on fresh gravel.
S h e suddenly lost control and hit the side or the m ountain.
T h a t’s how it happens. A ll of a sudden, hang! Sh e suffered
shock an d lost consciousness. A tape recorder in the car
suddenly popped on and she heard her spiritual m aster lectur-

ing. S h e returned to consciousness ju st as a passerby cam e to the
w indow to see if she were all right.
O n ce upon a tim e. W h at really h appen ed in an yon e’s life?
W hen it was tim e to rise, we rose. W hen it was tim e to bathe,
we bathed. W h en it was tim e to con cen trate on the holy
n am e . . .
Text 16
paravarcL'jnah sa rsih
kdlendvyakta-rarhhasa
yuga-dharm a-vyatikaram
praptam bhuvi yuge yuge
T h e great sage V yasad eva saw an om alies in th e d uties o f the

m illen n iu m . T h is h ap p en s on th e earth in d ifferen t ages, due
to u n see n fo rce s in th e co u rse o f tim e.
Comment
In the previous verse we learned th at V yasadeva sat alone to
con cen trate. We now learn th at it was n ot selfish “navel-
gazing.” V yasadeva m editated at the beginning o f Kali-yuga and
saw yu ga'd h arm a'v y atik aram , “an om alies in the duties o f the
m illen n ium .” A s stated elsewhere in the Bhagavatam , dharm am
tu sak sad bhagavat-pranitam . D harm a, or religion, is the law
w hich is e n acted by G o d H im self. W hen the prescribed dharm a
is n ot follow ed, this creates d h a rm asig lan i , discrepancies in reli
gious life.
T h a t V yasadeva could see the future is an oth er evidence o f
his specialn ess. H e is know n as tri'k ala'jn a, the seer o f past, pre
sent, an d future. Tim e con dition s all souls bound by bodies.
U n d e r its influence, we tend to forget the past and be blind
toward the future.
T h ere are other sages who can see into the future, but only
V yasadeva “accordingly . . . m ade arrangem ents for the people
. . . ” H e did som ething about w hat he saw. A lthough there are
others who can perceive failure and success, they are not in a posi
tion to change the future. T hey are able only to sound the alarm.
Vyasadeva revealed his divine nature by effecting a change.
T h e basic anom aly V yasadeva saw was th at people would be
m aterialistic and ignorant o f spiritual life. T h e word “an om aly”
m eans “d eviation from the com m on rule or type; irregularity” .
A regular h um an life, as prescribed by G o d an d scripture, is reli
gious. In Kali-yuga, people do n ot follow the codes o f religion.
“ B ecause o f ignorance they are unable to evalu ate the assets o f
life an d be enligh ten ed in spiritual know ledge.”
W hy the an om alies? Prabhupada says they are “due to unseen
forces in the course o f tim e.” T h is sounds as if it is n ot the fault
o f those born in this age, th at the an om alies are a result o f the
tim e factor. W ell, K rsna is the tim e factor. D oes th at m ean it is
H e w ho creates the an om alies? A n d why w ould H e do that?
T h e Vedas co n tain eviden ce that hum ans are helplessly co n
trolled by h igher forces. T h e Bhagavatam states, “Every m an is
certainly con trolled by destiny, w hich determ ines the results o f
o n e ’s fruitive activities. In other words, one has a son or daugh
ter because o f unseen destiny, and w hen che son or daugh ter is
n o lon ger present, this also is due to unseen destiny. D estiny is
the ultim ate co n troller o f everyone. O n e w ho knows this is
n ever bew ildered.” (Bhdg. 10.5.30)
W e are acted upon by powerful, unseen forces. A t the sam e
tim e, each living entity has a m inute am oun t o f free will. T h a t
free will is enough to m ake us responsible for our situation,
w hether we are liberated or m aterially bound. Lord K rsna states,
“N o r does the Suprem e Lord assum e an yon e’s sinful or pious
activities. Em bodied beings, however, are bew ildered because o f
the ignorance w hich covers their real know ledge.” (B g. 5.15) In
his purport to this verse, Srila Prabhupada describes the rela
tion sh ip o f the Suprem e Lord to the jiv a’s bondage:
[The Lord] does not create a particular situation for any living
entity, but the living entity, bewildered by ignorance, desires to
be put into certain conditions of life, and thereby his chain of
action and reaction begins. A living entity is, by superior
nature, full of knowledge. Nevertheless, he is prone to be influ
enced by ignorance due to his limited power. The Lord is om
nipotent, but the living entity is not. The Lord is vibhu, or
omniscient, but the living entity is anu, or atomic. Because he
is a living soul, he has the capacity to desire by his free will.
Such desire is fulfilled only by the omnipotent Lord. And so,
when the living entity is bewildered in his desires, the Lord
allows him to fulfill those desires, but the Lord is never respon
sible for the actions and reactions of the particular situation
which may be desired.
— Bg. 5.15, purport
T h e only ch oice we face, in other words, is w hether to take

shelter under K rsna directly or indirectly (through his m aterial
energy). We are depen den t in either case, but our choice o f how
to be depen den t determ ines our experience. If we choose to sur
render to K rsna and to serve H im voluntarily, we experien ce the
freedom th at com es with a protected serv an t’s life. If we choose
to turn away from him and take shelter in the m aterial energy,
we experien ce our helplessness alone. U ltim ately, however, we
can n ot escape our depen den t position. “T h e Lord engages the
living entity in pious activities so th at he may be elevated. T h e
Lord engages him in im pious activities so th at he m ay go to hell.
T h e living entity is com pletely depen den t in his distress and
happiness. By the will o f the Suprem e he can go to h eaven or
hell, as a cloud is driven by the air.” ( Kausitaki Upanisad, 3.8,
quoted in Bg. 5.15, purport)
R eferences to destiny and tim e m ake the Suprem e Lord
sound om inous and uncom prom ising. It d oesn ’t rem ind us o f the
person al and loving K rsna w ho plays w ith H is pure devotees in
G o lo k a. K rsna is the tim e factor for the con dition ed souls. T h a t
is how we know H im . W hen we associate w ith H is pure d evo

tees, however, we learn o f H is loving intentions toward the jivas,
and o f H is personal form, nam es, and activities. T h u s we can
relate to the Lord n ot ju st as the tim e factor but as the friend and
well-wisher w ho liberates us from the bondage o f Kala.
A lth o u g h the individual souls are considered G o d ’s superior
energy, they are tiny and therefore h ave the tendency to becom e
illusioned under the m aterial energy. O n ce bound it is alm ost
im possible to be freed. “ Because o f ignorance they are unable to
evalu ate the assets o f life and be enligh ten ed in spiritual know l
edge.” It is therefore ignorance th at causes suffering. T h a t igno
rance is m anifest in the attem pt to enjoy m aterial life. Because
we do n ot know who we are, we do n ot know w hat will m ake us
happy. W e try to wring happiness out o f m atter, w hich is dead.
A s Prabhupada w rites in The N ectar of Devotion, “A s long as one
is ignorant about his identity, he is sure to act wrongly and
thereby becom e entangled in m aterial co n tam in ation .”
It’s a dire situ ation . Is there any hope for all these tiny jivas ?
V yasadeva says yes. A lth o u gh he could see clearly into the
nature o f our bon dage, he could also see the m eans o f our free
dom : “ Persons w ho h ave lost their vision due to the dense d ark
ness o f ign oran ce in the age o f K ali shall get light from this
P u ran a." (Bhdg. 1.3.43) T h u s he provided the m eans.
V yasad eva’s m editation on the an om alies o f K ali-vuga led
him to present the etern al bhagavata-dharma in an accessible
form. H is vision was carried to its lim it w hen K rsna appeared as
Lord C a ita n y a and delivered the yuga-dharma in the form o f
c h a n tia g K rsn a’s holy nam e. T herefore, a great sage such as
V yasadeva did everything he could to release us from our ign o
rance. A ll we h ave to do now is becom e interested in our own
release. T h a t takes humility. H um ility m eans recognizing the
powerful forces actin g upon us, adm ittin g th at we can n o t ov er
pow er them , an d learn in g to depend on K rsna directly. H um ility
is the actu al sym ptom o f real intelligence. O f w hat do we h ave
to be proud? W e are tiny.
P rabhupada states that the reason people c a n ’t understand

spiritual life is th at they are “ too m uch interested in m atter,
w hich is tem porary.” W ell, it seem s im possible to com pletely re-
n oun ce our co n n ection with m atter as long as we are em bodied.
N eith er is m atter com pletely illusory or even evil. It is one o f
K rsn a’s energies. S till, it is incum bent upon us to be interested
only in spirit. T herefore, we m ust ch ange m atter into spirit by
using it in K rsn a’s service (yukta-vairagya). M aterial nature is
generally used for the jivas’ rectification and enlightenm ent. By
using it to practice d evotion, however, we can experience the
h appin ess o f K rsna consciousness w ithout the sharp edge o f
punishm ent. U sin g m atter in K rsna’s service takes skill. Srila
B h aktisidd h an ta Sarasvatl T h aku ra describes the principle o f
yukta-vairagya in Sri C aitanya’s Teachings:
T h e knowledge that is received at the university or from physi

cal nature, may promote greater synthesis, analysis and devel
opm ent o f the experience o f this mundane world. We do not
propose to discard the knowledge that is imparted by the uni
versities. . . . But it is proposed to ascertain the relation of
G odh ead with the same. To discard such knowledge is the bar
ren form o f renunciation (phalgu-vairagya). We learn this from
the teaching of Srim an Mahaprabhu. T h e discarding o f entities
that are related to Hari by liberationists, under the misappre
hension that they are mundane, is called barren abnegation.
T h e different branches of mundane knowledge are being
applied in an improper way by m ankind who have their faces
turned away from Krsna. It is as if ornam ents for the ear are
being worn on the feet. It is necessary to admit the real utility
of every entity. Extreme attachm ent to things of this world and
extrem e aloofness from all worldly concerns are equally re
m oved from the function of the servant of Godhead. T he ser
vants of G odhead should cultivate affinities with all entities on
Krsna’s sole account.
— Sri Caitanya’s Teachings, p. 389 -9 0
H eavy philosophy and me w ading through it. W e do all right

in gath erin g the question s and references. Prabhupada’s books
co n tain all the answers. T h u s we now know th at the jivas are
etern al but karm a is not. Prabhupada says th at again and again
in his Introdu ction to the Bhagavad-gita A s It Is. K arm a has been
around sin ce tim e im m em orial, but it’s n ot eternal. It can be
stopped. O f the five factors discussed in the B hagavad-gitd (the
Suprem e Lord, the individual soul, tim e, matter, and karm a) the
first four are etern al and karm a is temporary. W ho can un der
stan d this? O n ly those who regularly hear from scripture and the
acaryas and those who do n ot speculate. A n d besides hearing
from the scriptures I will add th at those w ho wish to really
understand the depth o f the philosophy h ave to h ave a bon a
fide spiritual m aster. If there is any difference in em phasis from
one acarya to another, th en such a person can understand the
essence from his ow n spiritual m aster and pursue th at em phasis.
S p iritual understanding includes actin g on the know ledge we
receive. T herefore, a guru is necessary to direct our activities
and to h elp us hone our realization.
It is a serious problem , our entanglem en t in matter. I m ean,
your entanglem en t and m ine. W hen you boil it down, it m eans
dealin g with the nitty-gritty problem s we face every day while we
attem pt to live in this m ortal body. W hat a drag. We suffer and
we call it enjoym ent. We taste ignorance and call it knowledge.
T h ere is darkness all around. T h e only relief is H is D ivine G race.
H um ility is the only asset. It m eans, practically, that we
sh ould n ’t both er trying to enforce our way. We like our p a la t
able food, our com fortable situations, and we adjust stoves and
doors to battle the elem ents, but for w hat? We are pow erless to
ch an ge the environm ent.
O ur sense o f purpose has to becom e seriously fixed on Krsna.
It takes hum ility to m ake a com m itm en t to self-searching and
honesty, an d to follow guru and K rsna despite w hat our senses
suggest. It takes hum ility to adm it th at I m ade no progress in
th is world in term s o f real self-interest or even basic happiness

un til I m et my spiritual master. If we can adm it our m istakes, we
can turn to a better path. If we are stubborn, however, th en we
can n o t be rescued. H ave you seen those S O S phones on the
highway? If a driver c a n ’t or w on’t adm it th at h e ’s in difficulty,
th en he w on ’t pick up the em ergency phone an d say, “ I crashed,
I m iscalcu lated ,” or, “ I’ve run out o f gas.” O Lord, please engage
us in Your service.
R ead o f M adh aven dra Puri installing his G o p a la Deity.

Plenty o f celebration . T h ey bathed the Deity in gallons o f water
and m ilk liquids. G o d , the delightful cow herd boy who appeared
before M adh aven dra Puri in a vision. H e told him to find the
D eity in a bush and to install it in a tem ple. M adh aven dra Puri
perform ed the annakuta cerem ony and Prabhupada encouraged
us to follow h is exam ple: distribute prasadaml H old kirtana! Lord
C a ita n y a celebrated the joy o f K rsna consciousness every day
an d n igh t w ith H is devotees. W h o’s looking for sour-faced, dour,
overly serious devotees who spend their days m editating on
their pligh t in the m aterial world? C h a n t H are K rsna and
becom e free!
0 K rsna, I w ant to be a real person and n ot an autom aton . I
know, though, th at I had better hoe th at row right if I w ant it to
bear fruit. Feeling deligh t d oesn ’t m ean giving way to frivolity.
“Yeah, m an,” the Trinidadian says. W ords spill out. H e gets out
at the airport wearing his dhoti and people greet him with a garland
(the karmis punch him in the face in order to take his m oney).
G la d there’s law and order in the world. I can ’t figure it out. We
need police and governm ents, but they need to be reformed.
H ere I am in a peaceful place. G o d ’s mercy on me. I’m grate
ful an d also accep tin g o f the fact th at w hatever suffering I am
exp erien cin g is my ow n responsibility.
1 h ave to speak tomorrow. I’ll choose som eth in g straight and
sim ple from the scripture. W e all w ant to inspire each other.
S in c e th is is a rural com m unity, the devotees m ight like to hear

encou ragem en t about K rsna con scious rural life, but I d on ’t
know th at m uch about it. I w ould like to hear about art or w rit
ing. Anyw ay, I’ll find som eth in g on w hich to speak. Look in the
sastra an d see w h at’s there.
B ach an d B eeth oven , C h u ck Berry and the V aitaran i River,

fire an d pus an d the h ellish plan ets, the ch an ce o f deliveran ce .
. . w ords an d im ages flash through my m ind w hen I do yoga in
the m orning. S o m uch trivia an d particles o f ideas floatin g in
the blood. A re they all m en tal toxin s being released, passing
through my bloodstream on their way -out? We sim ply h ave to
trust th at th e process leads us to K rsn a’s lotus feet. We need c o n
stan t nourish m ent to keep up our strength.
B reakfast is late. D o I love Srim ad-Bhagavatam ? D o I believe

in K rsna stories? D o I believe th at H e dan ced on K aliya?
H earin g goes again st disbelief. It becom es your reality.
But are my dream s reality then? I hear them too. Like this one:
I was in a south ern tow n sim ilar to M iam i, trying to travel to
N ew York City. N o one would give m e direction s how to get a
train or a plane. G o in g to the airport is usually a sim ple thing,
but the city’s em ployees were deliberately w ithholding inform a
tion abo u t the airport’s w hereabouts. I asked several m en em
ployees, but they refused to tell me. T h e n I found a lady
em ployee w ho was friendly an d took the tim e to speak w ith me.
A fte r she spoke for a few m om ents, however, I realized she was
tellin g m e fairy tales. S h e w ouldn’t say anyth ing about the air
port. T h ere were n o taxis. C o n stan tly thw arted.
D ream im ages w hile w aiting for breakfast. Sastra is solid.
T h ere is n o question o f real or unreal. It is truth.
B etter to h ear a tape. I turned on Prabhupada speaking about
S u k ad e v a G o sv a m i’s answ ers to M ah araja Pariksit. T h e king
h ad asked why everyone loved K rsna m ore th an their own
ch ildren during the year th at K rsna had replaced the boys and
calves. S u k ad eva G o sv am i explain ed th at we all love ourselves,
but we th ink the body is the self. Foolishly we try to take care o f
the body even w hen it’s aged and rotten. W e keep trying to
bring h appin ess to the physical self, but our efforts are doom ed.
W e love ourselves so intensely because we love Krsna. Because
w e’ve forgotten th at real love, we becom e subject to Kali-yuga
vices and con cen trate only on m atter. A n om alies o f Kali. W hen
he m en tion ed fools who try to take care o f their old bodies I
th ought o f m yself (an d M adhu too) follow ing our h ealth regi
m ens. W e’re doom ed and we know it.
Anomalies of The Age, A Non-logical List

T h e fists are sm all; everyone im itates e. e. cum m ings. N on -
d evotees d o n ’t know Krsna. D evotees d o n ’t w ant to be devotees
anym ore. Sin ful words that I will censor. M ental roaring.
M ore anom alies:
Jo in ts out o f order. Jew els th at should be w orn on the ears are
w orn on the feet. S om eth in g in the wrong place. C o o k ies in
your feet. D evotees in prison. M lecchas in the President’s office
— th a t’s normal. W h at’s norm al is wrong— illicit sex, ham burg
ers, booze everywhere, killing. D evotees o f Krsna are taken as
weird, restrictive, p aroch ial, cultish, and they sit on the bottom
o f the social ladder. M onkeys live in m illion-dollar hom es.
Bum s on the highway. Bum ps too. Days are short.
I ju st n oticed the sm all, gray bird w ith w hite tail feathers,

and now I recall it was M adhu who earlier this m orning said,
“ It’s alm ost spring. T h ere are birds singing, an d it’s warm er
overn igh t. T h e trees are budding.” S o it is.
Improvisation
A lo n e, my w ailing h eart and feet w ant K rsna consciousness,
w ant to know
why I c a n ’t ch an t
better.
W ill I hear the drum s roll
on their way to the coda, the end?
It’s cold but
spring and a bird
sings
cries out
w ails its h appin ess
or loss
its words
th at rem ind m e I wish
I could be a better devotee
blues
do th at to you.
Try Again
I look dow n the road. Is som eone com ing? But D eath could
sneak up from beh in d in this warm room
w hile I’m sh avin g my head
today.
A n d th at m usic keeps running

con stru cted and sprung loose
K rsna, Krsna
You are th e truth
an d I already wrote my list ten years ago: one more trip to
G ita-n agarl before I die, one last m ail pack, one more tour in the
van, one last night o f peace at a P-stop in France. O h , and to see
R ad h a-G o vin d a-M ad h ava at N ew M ayapur one more time,
an d V rn davan a
to say good night
to my odes
my h eadach es, the veins
in my head
an d ripened tim e
my m ottoes and credos
and
th e organ ic apples I had for breakfast.
O h , to m ake pure music
an d love my neighbor
an d to find good in all
an d to ch an t as H e wants
beyond death .
A n o m alie s m eans things are awry. T h e guy on the top should

really be at the bottom , an d the fellow at the bottom should be
leadin g society. T h e d evotees are at the bottom . A n d the w ea
ther. W e h ave warm w eather in w inter and cold w eather in
sum m er som etim es— crazy things, nature n ot in order. N ature
was on ce in violable, but now we h ave raped the forests and p o l
luted the waterways and finally discovered th at w e’rerunning
out o f oil. Is it too late to restore the delicate balan ce betw een
livin g beings an d m aterial nature? H ow can we possibly co n
tinue plundering the earth w ithout m eeting disaster? O ur pre
sen t talks o f ecology and recycling are m ore like cosm etic work
because they are n ot G od-cen tered.
D evo tees seem no better. We use fax m achin es and com pu t

ers, all o f w hich belong to K ali and contribute to the anom alies.
T h a t’s because we are preach ing in the last hour an d we h ave no
ch oice but to apply the principle o f yukta-vairagya. Better we use
w hat we can in K rsn a’s service rather th an h ave it w asted by the
dem ons. S till, we should refrain from using things th at are m ade
in hell. D o n ’t becom e unnecessarily co n tam in ated on the plea
th at we are im m une by w orking for the Lord.
IS K C O N can renounce styrofoam cups. We can also pass a
resolution th at husbands should n ot beat their wives and then
m isquote Prabhupada to back up their abuse. Pets should not
adorn graveyards, teeth should be placed on bedposts, tilaka
should be m ade o f clay, n ot rubber. Sen ten ces should be logical.
O r rather, they should be natural. Sober. We h ave problem s to
solve. S a ts tends to be eccentric, talking to the m oon or search
ing the outer spectrum for sounds and their m eanings. You know.
V yasadeva— saw the an om alies and the ignorance th at would
cause them , an d arranged to help. T h a t’s no joke. We devotees
have to take our work seriously.
It is easy enough to repeat w hat Prabhupada says in an im i
tative way an d to denoun ce charity efforts— those w ho feed the
poor, etc.— but we should know th at it’s n ot the spirit to w ant
to h elp th at is m isplaced but the effort itself. It’s based on the
body in stead o f the soul. T h a t’s w h at’s wrong with it. D evotees
should h elp too. T h e w orld’s a m ess. If they really w ant to help,
however, they’ll h av e to h av e faith th at transcen dental work is
superior an d should be done. G iv e out food, but m ake it prasa-
dam. Prabh upada said if you see a poor boy on the street and
feed him a m eal, th a t’s nice, but it’s n ot helpful over the long
run. If you d iscover th at his fath er is w ealthy and w ants him
back and you h elp him go hom e, th a t’s the best help. W e have
th at co n n ectio n to the Lord— everyone does. W e h ave to
believe in th at and help reunite people w ith their lovin g father.
C h a n t an d cry and let the salt o f the earth keep its flavor. We
are tired o f repeating ourselves— we h ave repeated ourselves
m illion s o f tim es— but please m ake it true, w hat we’ve said.
Texts 17-18
bhautikandm ca bhdvanarh
sakti'hrasam ca tat-krtam
asraddadhandn nihsattvan
durmedhan hrasitayusah
durbhagams ca janan viksya

munir divyena caksusa
sarva-vamdsrarndndm yad
dadhyau hitam amogha-drk
T h e great sage, w ho w as fu lly equipped in know ledge, could

see, th rou gh h is tran scen d en tal v isio n , the d eterioration of
everyth in g m aterial, due to the in flu en ce o f the age. H e could
also see th at th e fa ith le ss people in gen eral w ould be reduced
in d u ratio n o f life and w ould be im patien t due to lack o f good
n e ss. T h u s he con tem plated fo r the w elfare o f m en in all sta
tu se s an d o rd ers o f life.
Comment
T h e deterioration o f life in K ali-yuga was also m en tion ed in
the first ch apter o f the Bhagavatam w hen the sages addressed
S u ta G o sv am i: “O learned one, in this iron age o f K ali m en
have but short lives. T h ey are quarrelsom e, lazy, m isguided,
unlucky and, above all, always disturbed.” (Bhdg. 1.1.10)
Frequent m en tion o f the an om alies o f Kali-yuga rem inds us that
the Srim ad'Bhagavatam is intim ately con nected with the K ali
age. A s ch an tin g o f the holy nam es is the yuga'dharma for Kali-
yuga, so Srim ad'Bhagavatam was prepared to rem edy the ills o f
this age. Srimad-Bhagavatam opens with the sages at N aim i-

saranya gath erin g together at the daw n o f Kali-yuga expressing
their deep co n cern for the people o f the future.
M ore anom alies: Prabhupada states th at “the action o f m at
ter has n ot m uch in cen tive.” T h a t m eans the land will n ot pro
duce food as efficiently as it used to, the cows will n ot give as
m uch m ilk, and the quality o f food will decrease. In previous
ages, the fruits an d vegetables were bigger and juicier, the q u al
ity o f m ilk m ore poten t. N ow everything is shriveled up, dried
out. People are sm aller and live shorter lives, and their brains
are less able to retain m aterial or spiritual know ledge. A lth o u gh
h um ankind boasts o f progress, the opposite is actually true.
D riven by greed, people rob the earth o f w hatever bounty re
m ains, creatin g environm en tal disasters and h ealth disorders
along the way. A sid e from the fact th at food is n ot as plentiful
as it used to be, things are m ade even worse due to com m ercial
ism. Food producers and sellers add ch em icals to vegetables and
fruits so th at they will h ave a longer sh elf life, and they add arti
ficial colorin gs to attract people to buy rosy, red apples or artifi
cially bright oranges instead o f the natural produce th at the
earth provides. A ll this ch eatin g results in our own poisoning.
D eterioration com es from the reductions inherent in Kali-yuga,
but especially by how we ch eat nature to m ake a profit.
V yasadeva is com pared to an astrologer who sees the future.
A s an astrologer reckons and calculates by the positions o f the
stars, V yasadeva sees through the eyes o f scripture ( caksus-
sastra). Even a practicin g devotee can develop this vision. By
studying scripture we can learn to predict based on the experi
ence and know ledge it offers. If we live through num erous
springs, we can be certain th at yet an oth er spring will follow
w in ter an d we ca n also p red ict se a so n a l c h a rac te ristics.
Sim ilarly, by studying karm a, transm igration, pious and im pious
rewards, liberation, and oth er topics, a d evotee can understand
w hat is h appen in g both in this world and in the next. H e can
also m ap out his ow n progress. Caksus-sastra is the best way to

ob tain know ledge an d exp an d it beyond the very lim ited pre
sen t, w hich our senses can perceive, to the present and future.
V yasadeva developed his ability to see to an alm ost unlim ited
capacity, an d because o f his com passion, his ability to bring us
relief is unequaled.
T herefore S rila Prabhupada refers to tran scen den tal ists as the
real friends o f hum anity. Few d evotees receive the N o b el Peace
prize or even praise for their good work. T h e w orlds govern
m ents are more interested in m aterial am elioration th an spiri
tual upliftm ent, even though con cen tratin g on the body can n ot
possibly allev iate death. Srila Prabhupada regrets th at people do
n ot appreciate the devotees more. Still, the d evotees work with
enth usiasm , takin g their satisfaction from K rsna alone.
O ften d evotees w onder th at w hile acknow ledging the special
pow er o f K rsna consciousness to coun teract suffering, w hether
the an om alies still create an im pedim ent for spiritual ad v an ce
m ent. If there is no d ecen t culture, no education, little ability to
study scripture, no physical h ealth and short life duration, no
good govern m en t, th en how can we use the h um an form o f life
to m ake spiritual progress? C ertain ly spiritual life is m ore diffi
cu lt to prosecute in such an age, and th at is why oth er ages are
determ in ed as m ore favorable. Even if we aspire to practice spir
itual life in K ali-yuga, we are surrounded by indifference and
enm ity, or we m eet only cheaters. T h e group o f sincere devotees
is very, very sm all, an d they are socially outcast. Because o f that,
it takes real en deavor to m ain tain our devotion to K rsna in such
an environm en t. Even a begin n in g d evotee will vow to give up
illicit sex, but we live in a culture th at finds illicit sex n ot only
norm al, bu t advertises it endlessly as the goal o f life. Sim ilarly, a
devotee considers eatin g flesh sinful, an d gam bling an d in to x i
catio n as two pillars o f m aterial life th at m ust be avoided. T h e
rest o f th e pop u lation considers these activities as the basic
necessities o f life. T h a t’s an anom aly in itself.
S till, K ali-yuga is special because Lord C aitan y a appeared

and gave certain dispensation s to overcom e the obstacles. S e e
ing us so fallen and d isadvan taged, H e em phasized the easy
practice o f ch an tin g the holy nam e. By this one blessing, all
im pedim ents are overcom e. Kaler dosa-nidhe rajan, asti hy eko
mahdn gunah/ kirtanad eva krsnasya, m uktasangah pararh vrajet:
“M y dear King, although Kali-yuga is an o cean o f faults, there is
still one good quality about this age: Sim ply by ch an tin g the
H are K rsna maha-mantra, one can becom e free from m aterial
bon dage and be prom oted to the tran scen den tal kingdom .”
(Bhdg. 12.3.51)
People born into K ali-yuga are both victim s and perpetrators.
T h a t is, by the ch oices we m ade in previous lives, we developed
the karm a to take birth now. A t the sam e tim e, the age itself
im poses upon us bad features. W e h ave difficulty con trolling our
m ind and senses, and we are given to passion and ignorance.
T h o se who co n tact K rsna consciousness by the pure d ev o tee’s
mercy, how ever, are so fortunate th at all o f this can be ov er
com e. If in turn they go out and preach, and rather th an h ating
the ignorant people o f K ali they show them com passion, then
Prabhupada said K ali-yuga could becom e an oth er Satya-yuga.
It’s in terestin g to see how devotees h ave stepped out o f synch
w ith the prevailin g m ood o f Kali-yuga. Because it w ould be p o s
sible for us to sim ply separate ourselves from the surrounding
atm osph ere, we should be careful to rem em ber Srila Prabhu
p ad a’s deep purpose to preach to others.
N eith er should we exp ect or becom e frustrated by the fact
th at serving in K ali-yuga m eans running up against the deterio
rating m aterial nature. M atter has little potency com pared to the
pow er it had in previous ages. C ars will inevitably break down—
we will all run out o f gas one day anyway— so we have to rem em
ber th at neith er our preaching nor our Krsna consciousness is
depen den t on m atter. A d evotee can serve Krsna w ithout ele c
tricity, w ithout com puters, w ithout cars, and w ithout even a roof
over his h ead. A ll he needs is the holy nam e o f Krsna to rem ain
o n his tongue. T h e holy nam e, being K rsna H im self, is never
d im in ish ed by the age in w hich it is chanted.
N eith er are the devotees “K ali-yuga” devotees. It m ay be that
in previous ages people in general had more personal potency—
they were stronger or could be more hum ble or had greater e n
durance and longer lives— but those o f us who h ave com e to
K rsna con sciousn ess now are not disadvantaged. O nly our own
shortcom in gs prevent us from seeing the good in others.
T herefore, Lord C aitan y a advises that we rem ain as hum ble as a
blade o f grass and m ore tolerant than a tree. We should never
see any quality o f the devotees as one o f the anom alies o f Kali.
S rila Prabhupada was one o f the greatest philanthropists in
line from V yasadeva and Srila B h aktisiddh an ta S arasv ati T h a
kura. C ertain ly he was able to uplift the people in this age. O ur
lives were im m ersed in K ali-yuga poison — we were drinking it
w illingly— and Srila Prabhupada rescued us with the nectar of
the H are K rsna m antra. H e is the great kaviraja to cure all ills.
T herefore, instead o f m easuring the quality o f others, we should
gratefully rem em ber our debt to Srila Prabhupada and work to
h elp him increase K rsna consciousness in the world. If we
d id n ’t h ave the holy nam e and the opportunity to distribute it,
we w ould be in a dangerous position. A s disciples we have to cry
out Lord C a ita n y a ’s words, “ayi nanda'tanuja kinkaram: “O son
o f M ah araja N an d a [Krsna], I am your eternal servitor, yet som e
how or oth er I h ave fallen into the ocean o f birth and death.
Please pick me up from this ocean o f death and place me as one
o f the atom s at Your lotus feet.”
K ali is the w orst of ages and the best o f ages, and I am here
for two more weeks to write about it. A lth o u gh I said we
sh ouldn ’t m easure the quality o f V aisn avas in this age but sim
ply appreciate them , I h ave to adm it th at it’s true— I’m an
exam ple o f dim in ish m en t in Kali-yuga. Tim e slips through my
fingers and there d oesn ’t seem to be anything I can do about it.

If I try to use tim e to write, and if I can find fifteen m inutes here,
ten m inutes there, I now consider m yself lucky. We are “ unlucky
fellow s” with our dim inished statures, dim in ish ed brain su b
stan ce, dim in ish ed p atien ce, dim in ish ed power, dim inished p o
etry, education , culture— we h ave n oth in g o f value left except
the holy nam es. A n d even th at we ch an t poorly.
If you d o n ’t have realization o f it, do the m editation offered
in the Bhagavatam . Visualize yourself surrounded by bad and
dangerous elem ents. T h e n call out to K rsna for protection. C u t
through the idea th at life is com fortable, or even m ean t to be.
Yes, you’re eatin g every day. Yes,- your h ealth is tolerable. Yes,
you can do a little service. A ll th at is true, but d o n ’t be lulled
in to com placency. Life is tottering like w ater on a lotus leaf.
T im e is slipping through your h ands and w hat progress h ave you
m ade? A t any m om ent you could fall prey to the senses and the
m ind. T h e holy nam e is all we have. Pray to Krsna.
L o n g dream s— n ot m uch sleep during the nigh t. I opened

the little w ooden h atch like window to let in the air. D o I think
th at adds to the rom ance an d saga o f my little life? Yes, a little.
A fte r all, I’m a ch aracter in a daily com ic strip. My nam e is
L ittle Jo e. I provide am usem en t, suspense, and show how I’m
an unlucky hero.
Form erly there were more tuberculosis patien ts, Srila Pra
bh u pada said. N ow they h ave tuberculosis under control, but
they h ave to fight A ID S . If they con trol A ID S , they will have
to figh t yet an oth er disease, one after another. T h a t’s Kali-yuga.
O ur sins are visited upon us through disease, fam ine, and war.
S rila Prabhupada tells us th at M adh aven dra Puri sat dow n in

the m arketplace to ch an t. It is touching how he felt asham ed
because he had w anted to taste G o p in a th a ’s sweet rice. H e was
not at fault, but he criticized his ow n beh avior since the sweet
rice was still on the altar w hen he th ought like that. T herefore
he w ent alone to the deserted m arketplace and ch anted all
n igh t. S rila Prabhupada says he was a param aham sa, but he
ch an ted w ith desires as acute as any beginner. W e d o n ’t outgrow
jap a or kirtana; we only increase our utsaha to perform them .
T h a n k you, M adh aven dra Puri, for teach in g us that.
R educed, reduced, and still I think 1 have time. Jaya G aura-

candra dasa brings me water every few days w hen I run low and
he chops w ood for me. Som eon e brings me breakfast and lunch,
som eone changes the sheets, and today I was invited to speak.
Everything is provided. I am not like M adhavendra Puri who
“conquer[ed] the desire for sleep, food and sense gratification . . .
and remain[ed] a hum ble m endicant engaged in the service o f the
Lord day an d nigh t.” A las.
Automatic Writ
L e t the m ind give me words even if they’re disconnected.
C rack le o f w ood in stove. I call out harinama. If headach e
com es from too m uch devotion, I w on’t stop.
W ords are w orth keeping; m ove th at hand. Fingernails crum
pled an d w orn. I saw a new spaper I was crum pling to start the
fire, the Vancouver Sun. It predicted “Forrest G u m p ” would win
the A cad em y Aw ard for the best m otion picture o f the year. I
also saw a p h oto o f two C a n a d ia n s about to clim b M oun t
Everest for A ID S relief, and they will do it w ithout oxygen b o t
tles. T h e world, the world o f maya.
If som eth in g is temporary, it’s illusion. You think it will last,
but it w on ’t. You th ought (and th in k ) you’re S a ts who used to
be S te v e . You th in k your father died and th at you are entering
old age. Yesterday the cin n am on buns w eren’t baked as nicely as
before, and today is S t. Paddy’s Day— tim e is flow ing, or is it?
C a n I tap the experien ce o f tem porality? A t the end we discover
the illusion.
T h e Bhagavatam states th at anything that does n ot endure is

know n as asat and it has no existence. Present existen ce does
n ot guarantee future existen ce, and there is n othing in this m a
terial world th at has stood the test o f time. T h in gs m ay be “pre
served in a b o o k ,” but th at too is a joke. A n d where is the soul
th at created it?
B etter I draw hundreds o f portraits o f readers and writers.
S a v e me, I’m fallen,
Your D ivin e G race.
In K ali-yuga you’ve got a h at

bag in a h airpin. I m ean in K ali
there is English, and there are
no rules like in San skrit. S a n
skrit m eans “reform .” It’s the
perfect language because it c o n
tains the elem en ts o f bhakti. To
write bhakti poetry requires a
sch olar and devotee. Srila Pra-
bh u pada chides th at San skrit
poetry is n ot like English poetry where one line is two inches
long an d the n ext is two feet long, where there are no m eters or
rules. Yes, we “ liberated” poetry from form in this language.
N ow we ju st go ahead and let it rip. N ow anyone can say what
they w ant.
But into the m elee com es a d evotee or two (or three) and p o
etry begins to flower in the IS K C O N ranks like buds in late
M arch. A lm o st all IS K C O N poetry is free verse. V aisnava
poem s. Srila Prabhupada wrote a letter in response to a tem ple
president who said th at a poet with a reputation as a writer was
becom in g a devotee:
I am so glad to learn that Mr. Ted Berk, the A m erican poet, is

now living with you as brahmacari. Let him become now a
Vaisnava poet. There are so many Vaisnava poets in India. Now
as Krishna Consciousness is spreading, I think there must be some

western Vaisnava poets, and Mr. Ted Berk may be the first one.
— Letter to Mukunda, July 28, 1969
W e h ave perm ission.
List of Kali-yuga Blossoms, Anomalies, and Hopes

for Amelioration
(1 ) T h a t I could find the right-sized slim pocket pad, carry it
in kurta pocket, and whip it out w henever I w ant, like now, to
add to my list.
(2 ) A m I serious or telling jokes? C a n I really help the world?
T h is is w hat I w ant to know. If I am a serious contender, a h eavy
weight, th en am I in the line o f C an ak ya Pandita or G o p al Ban?
O r S id C easar and Im ogene C o ca? A m I w orshiping the dust of
the S ix G o sv am ls’ feet or the T hree Stooges and A llen Freed? O f
course, I know I am a serious spiritual aspirant, at least as serious
as Ted Berk because I d on ’t think h e’s still in IS K C O N whereas
I, I, I— I am boastful and proud, and therefore disqualified.
(3 ) I am a connoisseur o f sandesa. T oday’s was pink, soft, but
I rated it at three and a h alf stars. O n this S t. Paddy’s D ay he
could h ave dyed them green had he know n our proclivity.
(4 ) T h is is n ot a serious Kali-yuga list. I m ean, I am exposing
m yself but on a day when bom bs are dropping and more bom bs
are ready to go, I should be saying som eth ing to stop them p oi
son in g the ocean s and killing cows. S to p the terrorists.
(5 ) W ell, I am saying the world is blissful except th at we have
m ism anaged it. 1 see the ph oto o f the Liberals candidate in the
C a n a d ia n new spapers, the way his hair is styled to drape rak
ishly w ith ju st a touch o f wildness over his forehead— but just a
touch. W e w ant to know th at he can be controlled, too, were he
to becom e the Prime M inister. H e knots his tie carefully, but
h e’s a bit too fat, yet still handsom e with his even teeth. H e
prom ises to balan ce the budget and accuses the opposition o f
m aking “speech trash.” H e m eans they are blow ing h ot air.

W ell, isn’t th at w hat h e’s doing? N o , he says, h e ’s an exam ple of
a serious talker. T h e world is full o f serious talkers. For exam ple,
there are those professional philosophers w ho d o n ’t accep t the
Srim ad-Bhagavatam 's accoun t o f K rsna. A n d there are car
m echan ics, always w illing to tell you w h at’s wrong w ith your car.
A n d there are the crooks on the street with their knives and
guns. T h e y ’re serious too. But th at’s not the question that
started all this. T h e question was, am I serious enough to a ctu
ally h elp the world?
(6 ) A llen G in sberg wrote in the Introduction to the M ac
m illan Bhagavad-gita A s It Is, “ Isn’t it wonderful that we are in
Kali-yuga, the worst age, the iron age?” T h a t was his giddy gay
craziness to talk like that. H e didn ’t acknow ledge the suffering.
I d o n ’t seem to acknow ledge it either, but at least I’m more
sober th an he is with his wild, arrogant speculations. “ W ichita
V ortex S u tra ” indeed. I d o n ’t claim to write sutra or sastra or to
say th at K ali is far-out the way it gets so bad. I believe this is the
w orst age an d I know that Srila Prabhupada w ants us to finish
our business and get out. S o I’m m aking my list. T h e actual list
is too heavy to print— an im als killed, babies aborted, pain to
flesh and bones by our ow n unkindness. I w ant my list to be p o s
itive, to rem ind people to ch an t H are K rsna, and to instruct
people progressively, logically in bhakti. Perhaps this list isn’t so
orderly, but th at’s the point. T h is list is a quick writing-it-dow n
on th is S t. Paddy’s m orning before the tim e factor robs it away.
(7 ) K ali steals, K ali reduces, K ali shrinks. Everything goes up
in sm oke. W h at was born must die, and w hat dies m ust return
in on e species or an oth er according to karm a. For the m ost part,
th at m eans hum ans will return in less th an h um an species, so
there is serious work to be done.
Kali-yuga Notes
K ali-yuga sain t dream ing h e’s back in the N avy. H m m .
S cratch in g pen on the w ooden chest, our spiritual m aster in
N ew M exico— h ippies storm down from the m ountains as if on
cue to h ear an d see him and eat peanut butter laddus from his
hand. H igh clouds, blue sky, a high plateau. A ltitu de not good
for his heart?
In his heart
the H are K rsna m ovem ent as
in K rsn a’s m outh
all th e universes. His
m other, H is devotee, saw them .
I’m reading o f K aliya and o f fish-eating G aru d a, then
Pralam bhasura being sm ashed by Baladeva, who is at first sur
prised to see the boy on whose shoulders he is riding turn into a
big dem on.
W e ch eer B alad eva on, “C a tc h th at black sn a k e!”
Text 19
catur-hotram karma suddham

prajanam viksya vaidikam
vyadadhad yajha-santatyai
vedam ekarh catur-vidham
H e saw th at the sacrifices m entioned in the V edas w ere m ean s

by w hich the peop le’s o ccu p ation s could be purified. A n d to
sim p lify th e p ro cess he divided the one Veda into four, in
o rd er to expan d them am ong m en.
Comment
A lth o u gh the verse m entions th at Vyasa divided the one
Veda into four, Srila Prabhupada’s purport dwells on the fact
th at the Puranas and M ahabharata are the fifth Veda. Even the
division o f one Veda into four does n ot provide sufficient acce s
sibility to V edic truth for people in Kali-yuga. W e are advised to
follow th e Vedas by follow ing the Puranas, especially the
Srim ad'Bhagavatam . T h e poin t is n ot to be a nom inal or te ch n i
cal “follow er o f the Vedas," but to reach the goal o f life. W e are
n ot exp ected to practice im possible rituals. T h e Bhagavad-gita
clearly defines the goal o f V edic study as vedais ca sarvair aham
eva vedyo, vedanta-krd veda-vid eva caham (Bg. 15.15): “ By all the
Vedas, I am to be known. Indeed, 1 am the com piler o f Vedanta,
and I am the know er o f the Vedas."
K rsna here refers n ot only to the Vedas but to Vedanta. A l
though Vedanta is a con cise sum m ary o f the original Vedas,
Vedanta is inaccessible because o f its extrem ely com pressed lan
guage, w hich requires exp lan ation . T h e natural com m entary on
Vedanta and the real im port o f the original Vedas, are given in
the Srim ad'Bhagavatam .
Srila Jlv a G o sv am i exp lain s in his Sri Tattva Sandarbha why
the Vedas are inaccessible and why we should study the Puranas.
A lth o u g h som e scholars try to distinguish betw een the Vedas
and Puranas in term s o f authorship or stature, Srila Jlv a G o
svam i n egates their false argum ents. N eith er the Vedas n or the
Puranas were com posed by hum ans, and both o f them present
the sam e o b ject o f know ledge. Still, it is more difficult to under
stan d th at o b ject by direct study o f the Rg, Yajur, Sam a, and
A tharva Vedas. For exam ple, m any o f the V edic texts h ave now
been lost. Less th an six percent o f the original V edic verses are
still extan t. A sid e from this, the Vedas are w ritten in difficult
V edic San skrit. Ju st to understand the language requires e x te n
sive study. Srim ad'Bhagavatam is w ritten in an easier, spoken
form o f San skrit. M ost people in Kali-yuga, with dim inished
m em ories an d abilities, can n ot pursue Vedic study by going
straight to the Vedas. T h e Puranas are presented in story form,
w hich also m akes them more interesting.
By their nature, the Puranas are a form o f explanatory and

supplem entary literature intended to m ake the cryptic Vedas
m ore understandable. In no way does this disqualify the Pu-
ranas. T h ey too are eternal sound, the breathing o f N arayan a.
T herefore, the Puranas are repeatedly referred to as the fifth
Veda. A s stated in the Chandogya Upanisad (7 .1 .2 ), “V enerable
sir, I h ave studied the Rg, Yajur, Sam a, and A tharva Vedas, and
also the Itihasas and Puranas, w hich are the fifth Veda.”
T h e Srim ad'Bhagavatam confirm s this view: “T h e n he [B rah
ma] created the fifth Veda— the Puranas and the histories— from
all his m ouths, sin ce he could see all the past, present and
future.” (Bhdg. 3 .1 2 .3 9 )
A lth o u g h we may n ot understand the tech n icalities in v ol
ved, we can appreciate that Srila Vyasadeva was conscien tious
to edit and com pile the Vedas into a more “ user-friendly” form
for the fallen souls o f K ali-yuga: H e knew it was not sufficient to
sim ply am ass archaic literature in rem ote tem ples to be used by
a few priests with no real benefit for the m ass o f people. H e
w anted the crucial know ledge dissem inated. H e knew there was
no oth er way by w hich people in this age could get know ledge
and freedom from m aterial bondage. T herefore, we worship
V yasadeva n ot only because o f his exalted status and m ental
co n cen tratio n on V edic truth, but also because o f his co m pas
sion an d intelligence. H e is a true writer, or editor, o f the h igh
est standard.
A s we appreciate V yasadeva’s presen tation o f the Vedas, we
should also follow his m ood. In every age we need to m editate
on how best to present the Vedas so that in n ocent people on all
levels can be encouraged to reach the ultim ate purpose: shelter
at K rsn a’s lotus feet. A n y approach to Vedic literature th at falls
short o f clearly presenting the goal o f life is com pared to the
attem p t to taste honey by licking the outside o f the bottle.
S rila Prabhupada is an ideal exam ple o f a m odern represen
tative o f V yasadeva. H e too con cen trated and took considerable
tim e to m ake the Srim ad-B hagavatam understood by com m on

m en. Prabh upada worked with a S an skrit edition o f the Bhag-
av atam th at con tain ed nine or som etim es more com m entaries.
Prabh upada studied each verse o f the B hagavatam , read all the
com m en taries, an d extracted from them w hat he thought was
m ost relevan t an d essen tial for his readers. W hen we read the
B h ak tived an ta purports, we receive a d istillation o f the p aram -
p a r a s direct experien ce and realization. A n d o f course, we
receive Prabhupada. W e should never think that Prabh upada’s
books are presented only from his ow n view point and th at they
are devoid o f the ac a ry a s’ con clusion s. T h ey co n tain everything
presented accordin g to tim e, place, and person, and they can lift
us to the h igh est p oin t in K rsna consciousness.
W e should therefore read Prabhupada’s books and appreciate
them . W e should also distribute them because Prabhupada was
so pleased by th at act.
Okay, so we have read and distributed Prabhupada’s books. Is
there anything left to be done? A re we to simply repeat what
Prabhupada has said as he said it without any personal investm ent?
Prabhupada said th at his real con tribution was that he pre
sen ted w hat his spiritual m aster taught w ithout adding or sub
tracting anything. Yes, we should do the sam e. But w hen pre
sen tin g Prabh upada’s teachings, we m ay also work to m ake them
as relevan t as possible to each particular audience we address.
W e d o n ’t ch an ge w hat Prabhupada said, but we may say it in our
ow n language. Prabh upada’s words are poten t; if others hear
them , an d if we can present them by drawing from an audien ce’s
ow n im m ediate experience, or encourage them by our own
expressed attem p t to practice Prabh upada’s teachings, th en this
is w hat we can contribute personally to the sankirtana m ove
m ent. S p eak in g with personal realization w hat the spiritual
m aster h as said is extolled in the B h agavatam : “T h e Vedic fruit
w hich is m ature and ripe in know ledge is spoken through the
lips o f S rila S u k ad ev a G o sv am i, w ho is com pared to the parrot
n ot for his ability to recite the Bhagavatam exactly as he heard

it from his learned father, but for his ability to present the work
in a m anner th at would appeal to all classc„ o f m en.” (Bhdg.
1.1.3, purport)
In describing the qualification s o f a gosvami, Prabhupada also
says th at he should be w ell-versed in the P u ra n as . “To hear and
exp lain them is more im portant th an reading them . . . . O nly
one who has properly grasped the t r a '^ e n d e n t a l know ledge
from the right source by subm issive hearing can properly e x
plain the su b ject.” (Bhdg. 1.1.6, purport)
S au n ak a M uni m akes a sim ilar statem en t w hen he con gratu
lates S u ta G o sv am i for presenting the Bhagavatam exactly as he
heard it from S u k ad eva and by realizing it personally. Prabhu
pada writes: “H e m ust h ave full confidence in the previous
d carya, and at the sam e tim e he m ust realize the subject m atter
so nicely th at he can present the m atter for the particular cir
cum stan ces in a suitable manner. The original purpose o f the text
m ust be m aintained. N o obscure m ean in g should be screwed out
o f it, yet it should be presented in an interesting m anner for the
un derstandin g o f the audience. T h is is called realization.”
(Bhdg. 1.4.1, purport)
Okay, pal, you said you’d tell all. W rite all into the Veda o f
your understanding and m isunderstanding. W ell, w hat is th at
all? You know the story about how the H im alayas were going to
give birth? People were astonished and gathered to see what
kind o f offspring would appear from the m ighty H im alayas. But
rats appeared. Yes, rats. T h e much advertised birth resulted in
n oth in g great despite the expectation. S rila Prabhupada co m
pared this to the A m erican universities, w hich were producing
only h ippies and confused people. (T h ere are no real hippies
now adays, ju st confused and perhaps more arrogant and spoiled
people, w ho are even less eligible to hear about K rsna c o n
sciousness.) R ats.
B ut w hat does this h ave to do w ith my writing? A m I pro

ducin g only rats?
O h , the w hole th in g’s just a joke. I’m just w arm ing up.
A lth o u gh I’ll tell you th at this cabin is already warm— too
warm. T h e covered pot on the stove is spittin g boilin g water
o n to the stove and it hisses with am usem ent as I huff and puff
and th reaten to release my lightn in g bolts into this book w ith
out regard to tim e and place and exp ect my editor to co n tain it
all in as m any pots as can be brought forward.
T h e pot laughs because actually I’m struggling with lim ited
tim e and a lim ited head to say anything at all. I h ave a few roots
and herbs, but no lightning bolts, and the w ater sure is m aking
a mess on the stove.
I h ave already described how V yasadeva divided the one
Veda into four and especially how he created a fifth. R em inds
me o f the story o f old wine in new bottles. We m ake the scrip
ture consum er-friendly. It is a prim al act, and it takes faith to
b oth give it and to receive it.
Last nigh t I spoke on yukta-vairagya, presenting various pur
ports and verses by N arad a and Srila Prabhupada. I w anted to
add som eth in g in my own words. I said, “Everything is K rsna’s
energy. M atter can be transform ed into spirit if we ch ange the
con sciousn ess w ith w hich we do th in gs.” I n oticed three candles
burning on the altar in the room (they h ave no electricity here)
and I said, “T h ese can dles are spiritual, but if you have candles
on a din n er table w hen you’re rom ancing your girlfriend, those
are lusty can d les.” T h e audience laughed. T h a t’s an exam ple o f
saying som eth in g in your own words w ithout ch an gin g the
m eaning. T h e exam ple was accepted because they’ve all seen or
don e it. It was relevant according to tim e and circum stance.
A fter the lecture we skidded dangerously up the hill across
the sea o f mud. I felt as if the driver was reining in a bucking
bron co (h is four-w heel-drive jeep ). U p the hill we w ent to my
brow n-stained cabin. Jaya G au ra stain ed it this color, he said, so
the w ood w ould blend in with the forest and people could not
see it from a distance. T h a n k you. I d o n ’t w ant people to see me.
I w ould rather stay here alone and then send out the writing.
K rsna con sciousn ess is not a w him sical process. W e h ave to
pour our h eart into it and becom e atten tive students o f the p h i
losophy and Prabh upada’s m ood. W e also have to strike a b al
an ce. For exam ple, we should preach as long as we can, but we
sh ouldn ’t m ake ourselves sick or feverish because o f it. We
should feel ourselves actually practicin g Krsna consciousness
and m aking ad van cem en t— developing attractio n for serving
K rsna. S rila Prabhupada writes, “T h e best thing is, after all, to
get relief from all m aterial activities and engage on eself co m
pletely in h earing the transcendental pastim es o f the Lord. But
in case o f the absence o f such an opportunity, one should try to
engage in the service o f the Lord everything for w hich one has
specific attraction , and th at is the way o f peace and prosperity.”
(Bhag. 1.5.32, purport)
D oes this m ean we ought to expect to give up our non-
h earin g and n on -ch an tin g services som e tim e and just hear and
ch an t? I d o n ’t know. It depends. A n y lim b o f the nine processes
is as good as the n ext, so we m ay carry on our service until our
last breath. But th at d oesn ’t excuse us from the need to purify
ourselves. W e d o n ’t h ave to kill desires, but purify them . A n d
the deeper expression o f the service is not in the work itself, but
in w hat is going on in the heart. O therw ise, we may like our
work an d it m ay actually be som e form o f karma-kanda rather
th an bhakti. T h a t is, we are trying to receive a reward from its
perform ance. It may be that the work to w hich we are so
attach ed now will no longer be required o f us later. K rsna may
require som eth in g else. If we are attach ed to the work itself,
rather th an using the work as an expression o f devotion, we will
suffer w hen we lose it.
I claim I love my work and that I want to offer it to Krsna, so
although it remains to be seen what the future will hold, let me
offer what I’m doing now with my whole heart. Live in the present.
Flow on, sweet A fto n .

V yasadeva divided the one into four,
Su k ad ev a spoke it later as he heard it,
S u ta added w hat he knew w ithout ch an gin g the m eaning
to reach the sages at N aim isaran ya . . .
and since then, the acaryas have continued to address the
needs o f each tim e and place— fighting M ayavadis, talking to stu
dents, to Indians, to A m ericans, overcom ing the blocks in peo
ple’s minds. T h e work goes on. T h e preaching work is never com
plete. Each generation has to accept the m antle and preach the
m ission. T h a t is K rsna’s mercy, that we all have a chance to serve
Krsna no m atter when we were born and in what circum stance.
I said I’d write everything. T h e free m ovem ent, the m ail, me

w riting som e people who d on ’t write back. W hat are they d o
ing? A n e w pocket notebook for “non -logical w riting.” I’ll have
to go to bed soon with an oth er pill and pray and try to sleep. But
som etim es I c a n ’t; my brain is too alive with all th at’s in the
atm osphere. I w ant to becom e a lover o f Krsna.
C ourse on, corsair, ch an t now. T h a t’s how you will succeed.
“ D ear M adh aven dra Puri, here is the pot o f sweet rice Krsna
has stolen for you!” Yes, the Lord adm itted H e is a thief, but H e
rem ains all good. H e is always good. H e is Brahm an, but He has
form and personality. H e appears in dream s and in H is holy
nam e. T h a t alone purifies me. Ju st by saying H is nam e H e can
lift us out o f this world. T here is never anything im m oral about
H im . Please, Lord, m ake me realize Your nature and work to pro
duce worthy writing. T h e idiot, the sane m an, the student, and
m e— we can all appreciate w hat You have given. Let us carry on
V yasadeva’s work and m ake Your teachings accessible to every
one. H ere is the original Srim ad'Bhagavatam , and here is my poor
m an ’s version o f being a student o f th at original book.
I w ant to exam in e how m uch I

a ctu ally care ab o u t the a n c ie n t
V yasadeva. S om etim es I h ave to lie
dow n w ith a wet rag on my head and
think it over, but th en I’m overcom e
by dream s and the tickin g clock.
S om etim es you’ve got to get beyond
caring, especially caring w hether the
im m ediate sen ten ce is worth it.
“ Isn ’t it a beautifu l view from
here?” Jaya G au ra asked. H e thought
it was an ideal setting for a writer.
Im agine a writer as som eone who can becom e inspired by seeing
a hill overlooking a frozen pond, trees lining the dirt road to
either side o f the pond.
W ell, I h av en ’t forgotten those bears. It seem s peaceful now,
but ju st wait. I know because I h ave been here som etim es in
warm er weather. A bear is capable o f ripping you to pieces if it
gets disturbed. O f course, they generally d o n ’t walk around rip
ping people to pieces, so the danger is n ot as great as it sounds.
S till, it’s som eth in g to consider. Loud noises usually scare them
away, but every year they seem to get sm arter and less afraid o f
people. Perhaps one o f them will one day decide th at som eone
would m ake a tasty m eal. A fter all, we’re so m uch w eaker than
they are, and w e’re full o f blood and m eat. Fortunately, they are
n ot big m eat-eaters, but prefer berries and carrots and vegetables
from the garden w hen they can pull them up. A n d they do pull
them up. T h e d evotees have told m e th at they’ll raid the gar
den, sittin g there oblivious to w h at’s going on around them
unless the devotees m ake a huge fuss. Even then they ju st shuf
fle away, n ot really afraid, but bothered enough to find a more
peaceful place to sit and eat.
T h o se black bears are still sleeping.
I like to be alo n e and walk, and I’m sorry my ch an tin g is so

dry and wormy, like the wormy pieces o f wood th at I store in the
house and later put into the fire. I’m alive, but dead at the sam e
tim e. I’m n ot com plain in g, ju st saddened by it.
W ords goin g through me. “Sw am i,” the word I rem em bered
in the ten t last sum m er w hen I saw bears nearby on the road. I
coughed and they got frightened and left, big fools. Did you
know they belon g to the pig fam ily? T h a t year som eone asked,
“ D id n ’t I hear th at you had a heavy Brooklyn accen t?”
“ I lost it w hen I w ent to co llege.”
H e th ought I had had it until I jo in ed IS K C O N , but no, it
d id n ’t soun d right while reading Shakespeare, so I got rid o f it.
N ow I tell you naked and alone th at we cam e into this world
with T h o m as W olfe.
A n o th e r word: “ subm issive.” Be subm issive, open. To me

th at m eans to obey the guru. W e’ve heard it a m illion tim es, and
maybe we think it’s advice being tendered for zombies. But it’s a
deep instruction. We w ant to be saved at death. T herefore, we
h ave to have a subm issive relationship with guru. A n d no, it’s
not easy.
A guy w ith long hair asked, “W hat about that fine line
[betw een doin g som eth in g you like for Krsna and doing what
H e w ants you to do— or doin g w hat you w ant for your sense
gratification instead o f actin g only for H is pleasure]?” I said that
we h ave to first know w hat K rsna con sciousn ess is. T h e n we will
know how to w alk the fine line. It takes agonizing. T h e re ’s no
way around that. C o n fid en ce develops w hen we agonize and
subm it to guru through it all.
A s I write I hear a rifle shot. How is th at possible? T h is is all
protected land— thousands o f acres o f it. M aybe it was som e
thing else— som e kind o f explosion. But it sure sounded like a
rifle. You h ear them at G ita-n agari all the tim e during hunting
season. Anyway, let it go. It’s a glitch in life. W h at can be done?
H ow m uch we are stuck in self-im age. 1 c a n ’t skate around

Ja c k ’s Pond as if it’s 1953 forever, and I d on ’t even w ant to, but
the m em ory lives on, strong as ever. I rem em ber at least one
m orn in g w hen I w ent there early, alone, my skate blades glis
ten in g and the skate shoes tied together by the laces and slung
over my shoulder. Self-im age— full o f cold toes and learning
alo n e to skate and glide.
G o o d , good, you have written som eth ing good.

T h e class applauds and says nothing.
H e divided the apple into sixteenths.
S h e divided the ch ild into two and
rejoin ed it.
H e divided our ways into two
one into four.
Enough.
T hrow in towel and go to n ext Bhagavatam verse.
Big raven on post

shaking his features
strong in the M arch mud
as we drove to the Sunday
gath ering where I lectured on
yukta-vairagya. Today I felt I have
n othin g to say. Is there a co n nection to
the outward act and inward quest? W as
lecturing the cause o f my n ot being able to write? Blam e som e
thing, som ebody. I sh ouldn ’t have eaten extra cereal or srikand.
I should h ave slept— or not. T h a t raven is the color krsna— all
black. K rsn a’s h air was like crow s’ feathers w hen He was very
young— inky
flow ing from H is shoulders.
T h is raven proclaim s victory—
this gian t crow on a post.
Beyond him no visible life
ju st wind and weeds.
H e divided the Veda into four. Inner m eaning? W h at he did

he knows. It was a vast S an sk rit literature and hard for anyone
to understand. H e m ade it accessible. H e form ed it
sh aped it
created it and
brought forth the news.
From the Sam a the Yajur,
th en the Rg and A tharva
from Dhanur an d Ayur he took w hat
we could assim ilate.
W e need to assim ilate love. T h a t’s all. Love o f G o d . But we
need to be educated in it by a teacher w ho can con vin ce us. T h e
Sw am i was such a teacher. A t least he con vin ced me. H e took
us from the first inquiry (athatho brahm a'jijndsa) to the last.
V yasadeva baked it
an d raked it and
brought forth the news
gave birth to the blues,
all know ledge proceedin g from it.
Text 20
rg-yajuhsdmatharvdkhya
vedas catvara uddhrtah
itihdsa-purandrh ca
pancamo veda ucyate
T h e fo u r d iv isio n s o f th e o rigin al so u rc e s o f k n o w led ge [the

V e d as] w ere m ade sep arate ly . B u t th e h isto ric a l fa c ts and
a u th e n tic sto rie s m en tion ed in th e P u ra n a s a re called th e
fifth V eda.
Text 21
tatrarg'Veda'dharah pailah
samago jaim inih kavih
vaisampayana evaiko
nisnato yajusam uta
A fte r th e V ed as w ere divided in to fo u r d iv isio n s, P aila R si

becam e th e p ro fe sso r o f the R g V eda, Jaim in i the p ro fe sso r o f
th e S am a V eda, an d V aisam p ayan a alone becam e glorified by
th e Y aju r V eda.
Text 22
atharvangirasam as it
sum antur ddruno munih
itihdsa-purdndndrn
pita me rom aharsanah
T h e Su m an tu M un i A rigira, w ho w as very devotedly engaged,

w as en trusted w ith the A th arva V eda. A n d my father, R om a-
h arsan a, w as entrusted w ith the P u ran as and historical records.
Comment
T o sta te th a t th e Puranas are th e fifth Veda giv es th em th e
sam e sta tu s an d a u th o rity a s th e o rig in a l four. A fte r V y asa d ev a
e x p a n d e d th e o n e Veda in to four a n d ad d ed a fifth , he assign ed
a le a rn e d sc h o la r or “ p rofesso r” to rep resen t e a c h o n e . W e can -
n o t e x p e c t th a t all th in g s w ill be a u to m a tic a lly p reserv ed in th is
w orld, n o t e v e n so m e th in g as im p o rta n t as th e V edas. O n ly
w h en so m e o n e a c c e p ts resp o n sib ility for a p ro je c t o r a sc h o o l o f
le a rn in g c a n we e x p e c t it to flou rish . If we h a v e an y th in g we
w ant to save an d pass on to others, we h ave to entrust the

know ledge to reliable persons. O therw ise, it will becom e dif
fused by n eglect and the force o f time.
T h e history o f how the Vedas were protected is not vague.
T h e Bhagavatam supplies the nam es o f each teacher.
Text 23
ta eta rsayo vedarh

svarh svam vyasyann anekadha
sisyaih prasisyais tac-chisyair
vedas te sakhino ’bhavan
A ll th ese learn ed sch o lars, in th eir tu rn , rendered their

e n tru ste d V ed as u n to th eir m an y d iscip les, g ran ddisciples and
g reat-gran d d iscip les, an d th u s the resp ective bran ch es o f the
fo llo w ers o f th e V edas cam e into being.
Comment
T h e Vedas were first divided, and then they spread out in
their various branches. Prabhupada indicates th at this m eans
th at all know ledge throughout history is derived from V edic
know ledge: “In oth er words, the V edic knowledge, broken into
different bran ch es by different disciplic successions, has been
distributed all over the world. N o one, therefore, can claim
in depen den t know ledge beyond the Vedas.”
N o te the word “ broken .” It m eans th at the branches have
n ot alw ays faithfully m ain tain ed w hat was given to them , but
th at som e ph ilosoph ers speculated on the m eanings and the
know ledge becam e altered in the spreading.
D o you th in k it is a tall claim th at the Vedas are the original
sources o f know ledge? C a n it be proven, or is it som eth in g we
are exp ected to accep t on faith?
T h e Vedas con stitute truth. We have already discussed this

under the topic o f ep istem ology T h ere are various ways to prove
any know ledge. We can use direct sensory perception, infer
ence, speculation , the study o f tradition, and logic. But each o f
these m ethods has an inherent flaw and can n o t deliver absolute
certain ty th at w hat we are discern in g is actually true. T herefore,
the superior m ethod to gain know ledge is brahma-sabda, or h ear
ing from faultless authorities. T h a t is especially true w hen we
are trying to gain know ledge o f things th at h appen ed in the d is
tan t past or tran scen den tal know ledge. T ran scendental know l
edge is beyond the range o f the senses and can n o t be understood
by specu lation , inference, or logic. W e m ust hear from au th or
ity. If we w ant to know our father, we m ust ask our mother.
T h erefore, the Vedas are their ow n authority. T h is is not circu
lar reasoning. T h e Vedas are absolute; they d o n ’t need separate
con firm ation, w hich would imply that som e oth er authority sur
passes the Vedas. A s the sun d oesn ’t need a lam p to illum inate
it, so the Vedas are self-lum inous and provide the infallible proof
o f them selves. Furtherm ore, persons who have approached Vedic
know ledge and becom e thoroughly immersed in it, present us
with their realizations and life exam ples, and these also co n sti
tute proof. T h e ir learned discourses often em ploy logic to co n
vince an d satisfy our hearts, although ultim ately the logic is used
only to serve the Vedas, not really as a m eans to prove them.
S till, devotees som etim es seek em pirical evidence to prove
th at the Vedas spread throughout the world. W hy d o n ’t the
Vedas th em selves describe the powerful em pires we h ave seen in
relatively recen t history in different parts o f the world— the
R om an s, the G reeks, the Babylonians, the M ayans? A lth ough
those em pires may not be specifically described, however, the
original know ledge that founded them , the dem igod w orship
th at sustained them , the sacrifices and yoga th at becam e their
religions— all stem m ed from the original Vedas as distributed by
the various professors and their disciples to w hich V yasadeva
assigned e ach Veda. W orld culture did n ot arise out o f nothing.

Every culture has its genesis in w hat cam e before. If we exam in e
the different world cultures, we often find sym bols such as the
cross, the S ta r o f D avid, the Buddhist m andalas, the swastika,
and others th at h ave their origins in Vedic yantras. T h eo lo g ical
co n cep ts and form s o f w orship in world religions are sim ilar
because all h ave their origin in V edic teachings. We will never
really be able to put together the pieces o f this question as if it
were a jigsaw puzzle, drawing direct lines o f descen t from this to
th at. T h e passage o f tim e and the sketch in ess o f historical
accoun ts will forever leave the story appearing incom plete.
K now ledge and m em ory have deteriorated, too, due to the in
fluence o f Kali-yuga. N ow here at present is V edic culture intact.
N o r are there any exam ples o f strict Vedic follow ers who also
understand the purpose behind the Vedas. A ll our search for
em pirical eviden ce will show us is th at the original V edic cu l
ture as it is being described in the Bhagavatam has been lost.
A ctually, as V edic know ledge spread, the result was often
more distortion th an m ain ten an ce o f the original purpose.
D arw in’s theory o f evolution and the origin o f species is an e x
am ple o f this. T h e Vedas teach evolution in the Padma Purana.
T h ere we hear th at there are 9 0 0 ,0 0 0 species o f living entities
in the water, 2 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 species o f plants, 1,000,000 species of
birds, 3 ,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 species o f beasts, 1,100,000 species o f insects
and reptiles, and 4 0 0 ,0 0 0 species o f hum ans. Srila Prabhupada
som etim es rem arked that Darw in “ picked up” his theory from
the Padma Purana, but because he was o f an em pirical, ath eistic
bias, Darw in attem pted to refute the m ain p oin t o f V edic te a ch
ings, w hich is th at the soul is.etern al and it transm igrates from
specie^s to species. R ather, he dealt only w ith the m aterial bo d
ies o f the various species. H e had no apparen t desire to inquire
into know ledge o f the soul evolvin g through those bodies, or
that evolu tion does n ot begin on the physical plane but on the
subtle. T herefore, to say that V edic know ledge was spread
throughout the world m eans m ostly th at the param para m essage

was distorted and alm ost lost in a series o f theories, schism s, and
“new ” beliefs and custom s.
N ow adays, those who take up V edic know ledge do so n ot by
birth or custom , but by approach in g the spiritual m aster in
V edic study through intelligence and spiritual inquiry. T h e
Vedas state th at in Kali-yuga everyone is born as a disqualified
sudra. S till, anyone can becom e a learned brahmana by subm is
sively h earin g V edic know ledge from authority. O n ce som eone
grasps the principles o f K rsna consciousness, he m ay becom e
qualified to help reclaim all the various bran ch es o f know ledge
th at exist in the world and again link them to K rsna co n sciou s
ness. T h u s it is n ot depressing to learn th at V edic know ledge has
splintered and fragm ented into all the w orld’s teachings. Rather,
it is a source o f encouragem ent w hen we see V edic truth in so
m any places. N ow it is a m atter o f reclaim ing it to its source and
for its original purpose. T h a t m eans breaking it away from a th e
ism an d returning it to theism .
T h e first step in doing so is understanding th at our im m er
sion in m aterial m iseries com es from our turning away from
G o d ’s mercy. W hen we learn to offer our activities as service
an d to accep t H im as the Suprem e, then we n ot only save our
selves, but we also help others. T h e truth is actually sim ple.
In a later Srimad-Bhagavatam purport, Srila Prabhupada d e
scribes how we can dedicate to the Suprem e all the various
departm en ts o f knowledge. “ If one is a learned scholar, scientist,
philosopher, poet, etc., then he should em ploy his learn in g to
establish the suprem acy o f the Lord . . . If one is an adm inistra
tor, statesm an , warrior, p olitician , etc., then one should try to
establish the Lord’s suprem acy in statesm an sh ip . . . Sim ilarly, if
one is a businessm an, an industrialist, an agriculturist, etc., then
one should spend his hard-earned m oney for the cause o f the
L ord.” (Bhdg. 1.5.32)
K rsna consciousness has jurisdiction over all subjects; they
becom e re-spiritualized sim ply by the touch o f a devoted person.
Prabh upada used to encourage us th at we could speak on any

topic an d in any departm en t o f know ledge— psychology, so cio l
ogy, literature, history, and even scien ce an d m ath— even if it
appeared th at K rsna con sciousn ess had no relevance. A devotee
can always m ake the co n n ection with K rsna and show the d e
fect in any body o f know ledge th at has lost its con nection .
T h e n in the nam e o f reclaim ing the original Vedas, should
we now learn all th e sacrifices, m antras, and m inute ph ilosoph
ical in tricacies th at are present in the original text?
Prabhupada d id n ’t consider it necessary to go back and learn
all that. R ather, he w anted us to follow the mahajanas, or the
living represen tatives o f K rsna con sciousn ess w ho select from all
the departm en ts o f know ledge w hat is m ost im portant according
to tim e an d place. T h is is the sam e p oin t the sages m ade w hen
they asked S u ta , “T h ere are m any varieties o f scriptures, and in
all o f them there are m any prescribed duties, w hich can be
learned only after m any years o f study in their various divisions.
Therefore, O sage, please select the essence o f all these scrip
tures and exp lain it for the good o f all living beings, th at by such
instruction their hearts may be fully satisfied.” (Bhdg. 1.1.11)
Prabhupada rem arks, “T h e w hole atm osphere is surcharged with
opposition [in Kali-yuga].” T h e varna and asram a societies no
longer exist an d it is n ot possible for people to undergo all the
lessons th at the various scriptures in the varndsrama'dharma sys
tem teach. It is also stated in the M ahabharata:
tarko 'pratisthah srutayo vibhinnd

nasav rsir yasya matam na bhinnam
dharmasya tattvarh nihitam guhdyam
mahajano yena gatah sa panthah
Dry argum ents are inconclusive. A great personality whose

opinion does not differ from others is not considered a great
sage. Sim ply by studying the Vedas, which are variegated, one
cannot com e to the right path by which religious principles are
understood. T he solid truth of religious principles is hidden in

the heart o f an unadulterated self-realized person. C on se
quently, as the sastras confirm, one should accept whatever pro
gressive path the mahajanas advocate.
— M ahabharata, Vana-parva 313.117
T h e m ahajana does not dwell unnecessarily on details. T h is is

n ot an age for getting hung up on innum erable Vedic details but
for learning the art o f devotion. R elevan ce is defined by that
w hich m ost evokes our original love o f G o d. Lord C aitan y a has
determ ined th at chan tin g H are Krsna m antra and hearing narra
tions from Bhagavad-gita and Srimad'Bhagavatam will do th at best.
W e may also worship the Deity, although in an abridged form, as
taught by the expert spiritual m aster in disciplic succession.
W h en I hear o f how the original Vedas were divided, I am
im pressed by V yasadeva’s m ood in caring for and protecting the
know ledge. K now ledge is som eth in g real; it has to be cared for
if it is n ot to be lost or distorted. K now ledge should be seen as a
precious gift; we should be reverent toward it, learn it, and prac
tice its ten ets chastely. It is n ot som eth in g to be m aintain ed in
an underground arch ives as if it has no m odern application.
T h is was S rila Prabhupada’s ow n m ood. Prabhupada was co n
cern ed th at his w ritten and taped teachings n ot be lost. A t first
they co n cen trated on preserving these m aterials on acid-free
paper, puttin g them in vaults in case o f war or natural disaster.
W hile this is certainly com m endable and necessary, Prabhupada
considered it even more im portant th at the know ledge be
spread around the world to as m any places and living represen
tatives as possible in the form o f his books. Prabhupada also car
ried his first printed volum es o f the Bhagavatam with him from
India an d wrote in “T h e M o tto ” in the front m atter;
It is adm itted even in the higher circle that in fact the whole
root and background of Indian culture is wrapped in the S a n
skrit language. A nd we know that the foreign invaders of India
could break down some of the m onum ental architectural work

in India but they were unable to break up the perfect ideals of
hum an civilization so tar kept hidden within the Sanskrit lan
guage o f Vedic wisdom.
Srim ad Bhagwatam is the mature ripened truit o f the tree of
Vedic literature (pp.66). We have begun to give it rendered into
English with broader outlook and it is the duty o f leading
Indians to spread up the culture all over the world at this
m om entous hour o f need.
V edic books are best preserved by publishing them in as

m any languages as possible, always keeping the original m essage
in tact, but spreadin g it further and further, deeper and deeper
into every tow n an d village.
T h e purport m en tion s th at the original Vedic scholars were
entrusted with the know ledge “for developm en t in various
w ays.” T h is in dicates th at w hen know ledge is taken up by dif
ferent cultures, it m ay h ave to be adjusted accordin g to tim e,
place, and persons. T h is is an oth er aspect o f the param paras
trustw orthiness. T h ey d o n ’t only keep the know ledge for th em
selves, but they know how to introduce it and adjust it acco rd
ing to tim e an d place.
B ecause all know ledge com es from the Vedas, there are no
new ideas. T h ere are only new com b in ation s and application s of
the old ideas. T h e original facts o f hum an and cosm ic existen ce
exist eternally. T h ere has always been birth, death, disease, and
old age, always the season al and m illennial cycles, an d always
the opportunity to turn to the Lord for relief from suffering and
illusion. T h e se basic facts, and even the corollary details, do not
ch an ge. T h e y are only rediscovered as solutions to the age-old
problem s o f m aterial existen ce. W e live in a world o f lost and
found, creatio n and destruction.
S o you defen ded the truth, ju st like a professor o f V edic

know ledge passing it dow n. O f course, you are n ot even
accep ted by those who are considered professors in this world,

an d n ot even by all o f the devotee “professors,” but I can still
present K rsna con sciousn ess in w hatever co n text. T h e m aterial
ists d o n ’t accep t that the Vedas are the source o f original know l
edge, but you know w hat? W e’re not ludicrous fundam entalists.
It’s n o t my jo b to get th at across to people. I h ave oth er work.
M y work is to preach to those who already accept the facts as
Prabh upada and the acaryas present them . I try to speak both
m eth odically and from the gut. T h a t m akes it a little hard to
departm entalize me. D o I belong in the anthropology depart
m en t or the poetry departm ent? M aybe I d o n ’t even belong in
the university. S om e would put m e in the h all closet, or in a
m all selling paintings. H a!
O h , I hear the grem lin tak

ing hold o f this. H e belongs in
a cave with Henry M iller and
the other apes— such a self-
sta rtin g p roclaim er, typical
K ali-yuga type. H e tries to
stand on his hind legs and
speak as if no one has spoken
before him . W hat arrogance.
H e yawns and show s his teeth
(o r lack th e reo f). D o es he
really think his preening and
frettin g is a su b je c t w orth
hearing? A n d now — get this—
he claim s to be a m aster and receives biscuits in a sealed plastic
carton , savin g them for w hen he gets the urge to reach in and
eat one.
W h o is this im postor? H e appears to have abscon ded w ith
the truth.
W ell, grem lin, begone. It’s h ot in here, so I think I’ll open the
window. I h ave to sing my song before my heart stops beating.
Yes, professor an d student, artist and dancer, laym an and servant
o f the servan ts o f the acaryas— th at is, if Prabhupada will accept
m e and n ot kick m e away. I am trying to serve him , and I try to
evoke my d evotio n an d faith and m arshal my co n victio n
enough to present the basic facts with their K rsna conscious
con clu sion s as they are revealed in the verses and purports of
the Bhagavatam. Everything com es from the Vedas. I d o n ’t have
trouble accep tin g that.
It’s such a deep th in g to say th at K rsna conscious know ledge

is the source o f all oth er know ledge. It’s n ot a m undane concept,
but requires th at we understand and accep t the suprem acy of
G o d . T herefore, w hatever we say, we had better m ake sure we
co n n ect it to K rsna. W e should always speak as H is represen ta
tives even as we allow our spirits to fly. W herever we go, w h at
ever we see, w h atever we w ant to say— K rsna has already been
there. It has all em an ated from H im . W hile the ath eists use
know ledge to run and hide from K rsna, we find H im everywhere
in every understanding. O u r duty, then, is only to h elp m ake His
presence and teach in gs clear to others so th at they can see H im
too. Krsnas tu bhagavan svayam.
Automatic Writ
It’s nice early in the m orning to approach a rough new sprint
page w ith a pen and sail and to glide, to tell w hat you know.
H ere’s w hat I know:
(1 ) K rsna is the G o d o f gods. H e has m illions o f nam es.
“W h en we say K rsna we m ean G o d .” H a ha prabhu nanda-suta.
(2 ) T h e stove produces w arm th, and cold air pours in from
the open window. W here is there com fort? N ow here. “O pen
w ide,” says the dentist.
(3 ) I d o n ’t need to be self-conscious or feel inferior, ju st say
w hat com es. Yesterday a long-lost disciple cam e to see me from
a great d istan ce, but I refused to see him . I wrote him a note,
“You are so out o f touch w ith me th at you didn ’t know I was on
a w riting retreat and that I d o n ’t h ave individual m eetings
because o f my weak h ealth .” I was sorry I couldn ’t m eet with
him , I said, an d then this im age popped into my head. S o m e
tim es in Zen stories a student is denied entrance at the m on as
tery gate. It’s a test o f his sincerity and his determ in ation . I
denied this disciple entrance, and I was sorry that he traveled so
far “for n o th in g,” but perhaps he will see K rsna there.
Is H e there? Is this even the subject o f a Bhagavatam co m
m entary? It probably has no place in a discussion about how the
V edic know ledge was spread and dissem inated to all cultures.
But it does. For exam ple, you d o n ’t like to hear me (an d I d o n ’t
like to say) th at I’m a spiritual m aster and such-and-such h ap
pened w ith my disciple. T h e words “spiritual m aster” and “d is
cip le” stick in my throat w hen I use them in th at con text. But
w hat else can I say? T h a t I’m a city bus driver or I didn ’t m eet
with a passenger?
O h , we know you’re sittin g around
in your long underw ear
scratch in g out odes, scratch in g your ear
stayin g alone
an d som etim es sorry about that.
O lost son, I do w elcom e you back, but you c a n ’t expect to

ju st burst in on me w ithout first m aking a gentle approach.
Tell us, sir, w hat did you discover in your solitude? C a n you
quote from M erton or T h oreau on this? W ell, as a m atter o f fact,
I read T h o reau for five m inutes yesterday and this is what he
said. H e said a saint needs to go outdoors in w inter as often as a
h unter or oth er outdoors m an. I have to adm it that he worked
the m etaphor until it becam e tired, about how a saint goes out to
search a prey more worthy th an a fox. H is point was that inter
n al life is easily pursued w hen we take long walks and observe
nature. T h is line was good: “ D o the Indian and hunter only need
snow shoes while the saint sits indoors in em broidered slippers?”
H e got me there— I wear booties. But it’s so m uddy and icy
and hilly here I keep d eciding to stay inside to write. A fter all,
I can see nature from my window. But you are right, T horeau-ji,
on e ou gh t to get out and inspect the snow storm and know o f the
com in g o f spring.
D ear spiritual master, as I worked for you in the B oston tem

ple or in the D allas gurukula, as I w ent into college classroom s
to lecture, so I work for you here. Please accep t me. I h ave no
stan d in g otherw ise.
W h atever know ledge has com e from the Vedas is m ostly lost
in its original form. T herefore, we are left to know K rsna now
and n ot get lost in search ing for an cien t teachings. H e is eter
nally youthful.
Preaching. D o I say w hat I feel? W hen I co n tact n on devotees
I tend to think, “T h ey d on ’t know.” I d o n ’t exactly judge them ,
but I d o n ’t e xp ect them to know anything. T h ey h ave no final
w isdom . I d o n ’t consciously find fault with them or put them
dow n; they are like h an dicapped people. You ca n ’t fault them
for their ow n m isfortune in h avin g lost a limb, but neither can
you expect them to walk. T h eir tongues have never tasted K rsna’s
sweetness. T h ey have cow dung and sawdust for brains. T h is
sounds insulting, I know, but I don ’t m ean it to be. Sukadeva
G o sv am i uses strong words for the nondevotees in the opening
chapter o f the Seco n d C a n to where he says th at hogs, dogs,
cam els, and asses praise those who d on ’t sing the Lord’s glories.
C a ts and dogs, h og civilization, an t civilization, deluded scholars.
T h e m ud is beginning
to soften. It m ay not be as
long as Jam b av an said b e
fore the bears com e out. I
am w aiting for the day
w hen I will see a snout
attach ed to an enorm ous
sh aggy face appear. O r
maybe cubs playing by the
cabin . C u b s are more frightening because you know the m other
is around and fiercely protective.
I w onder if Jaim in i was afraid o f bears. Were there large wild
anim als where A rigira and R om ah arsan a lived? A n d how did
they care for the Vedic branches entrusted to them ? D id they
h ave a sch ool? Favorite students?
D evo tees w onder w hat the practical ap p licatio n o f reclaim
ing know ledge for K rsna is. D o we teach K rsna conscious ver
sions o f each departm en t o f know ledge in the university? O r
perhaps we d o n ’t bother with those departm ents and ju st ch an t
H are K rsna, teach S an skrit and the m other tongue, and read
P rabh upada’s books. T h a t’s probably enough. It doesn ’t really
require m uch curriculum .
For myself, I also listen to the wind and w atch the pond
ice m elt. It w on’t be long before it’s clear now— probably
an oth er week.
N aiv e artist, playing his ow n tune

there it goes on soft shoes, a
big c a t loping dow n the alley
th en crash!
I w ave my w and and call it K rsna con scious syncopation
G o d an d m atter, blood and heart
the m usical score
th at drives us
it’s from K rsna, Krsna, K rsna, K rsna
all tim e
an d my d istan t stan ce
as sun ligh t m elts the ice.
We sh ould n ’t be afraid o f our ow n experiences.
Letters accu m u latin g in my drawer. I’ll answ er them in time.

W h en tired an d bored I grope to revive hope and realization.
S o m etim es it helps to use the sam e vocabulary my spiritual m as
ter used, the sam e holy nam e.
A lonely n ote seem s
to touch me.
It speaks o f th at thing in me
th at th in g th at c a n ’t be chased
w ith m etaphors.
I look for a bridge
o f m ellow ness to
reclaim the know ledge
before I h ave to die.
D o n ’t print th at, please.
Automatic Writ
W e are who we are. T h e back of my n eck is stiff. I d o n ’t have
sex. D oes th at produce som e ten sion or laten t energy? Probably
not at my age. A n ex-disciple wrote me, “O n ly a rare person can
sublim ate sex desire.” If sh e’s right, then the proh ibition against
illicit sex is unrealistic and she and her husband are right to
reject it. I replied, “You’re wrong. It’s not hard to sublim ate sex
desire if you engage in K rsna con sciousn ess.” I figured Srila
Prabhupada m ust be right, and n ot this w om an who has becom e
influenced recently by psychologists and her husband and is
rebelling again st the stricture o f K rsna consciousness. We each
have to ch oose who we will accept as authority. I follow my spir
itual m aster, avoid sex, and ch an t at least sixteen rounds a day.
T h is disciple has now ch osen an oth er way.
E ach p rof was in charge of
a Veda. W e m ajor in Bhagavatam
and Bhagavad'gita, The Nectar o f Devotion, and
our prof is Prabhupada
h an d in g us know ledge in
perfect param para.
I’m tired now. Lookin g w ithin for reserved energy and g en
uine K rsna con scious expression. I read that the D enuka dem on
was throw n up in a tree and K aliya’s hundred h oods were bro
ken and he vom ited blood. Krsna danced on his hoods for his
ow n good. T h ere is n othin g inauspicious.
K rsna conscious expression, com
ing out from me like stream s of
A rctic water, this spring season felt
and conveyed, and the hill looping
dow n by my cabin. M. is out looking
for a phone and no one is around but
the late M arch w ind sw ooshing
through the pine forest and the sun
shine is m elting the ice. A n d my
dream s. T h e y ’re here too. T h e last
one: devotees surrounded by a grim
destitute and a m uscular thug block
ing our way. I w ent out to m eet him
and said, “T h e look in your eye
rem inds me o f my uncle. I love you and you love m e.” It diffused
the violen ce, and the dream veered off w ithout resolution,
always presenting new anxiety and the ability to cope, but n oth
ing concrete was solved.
Text 24
la eva vedd durmedhair

dharyante purusair yatha
evam cakdra bhagavan
vyasah krpana-vatsalah
T h u s the g reat sage V yasad eva, w ho is very kin d to the ign o

ran t m asses, edited the V edas so th ey m ight be assim ilated by
less in tellectu al m en.
Comment
V yasadeva is described here as a great sage ( bhagavan ) and
very com passion ate (krpan a-vatsalah ), especially to ignorant per
sons. T h u s he was perfectly qualified to m ake the Vedas accessi
ble to the people o f Kali-yuga.
T h e Vedas are difficult to understand. A s stated in B rah m a-
sam hita, vedesu durlabham . A person has to at least be in the
m ode o f goodness, or be a brahm ana, in order to seriously study
the Vedas.
Two classes o f people wrongly interpret this stricture. O n e
class says th at you h ave to be a brahm ana by birth, and they try
to create a m onopoly on V edic study. T h e other class pushes
th em selves forward to accep t V edic teach in gs even though they
are n ot qualified by birth or character. Prabhupada states that
both classes are wrong. It is true that one has to be a brahm ana
to study the V edas, but w hat is a brah m an a ? B rahm inical q u ali
ties are n ot determ ined by birth. W e begin to attain brahm ini-
cal qualities w hen we recognize th at we are spirit souls and that
our bodies are tem porary veh icles to house the soul in this
world. W h en we understand that, th en we can understand the
essen tial q u alification o f all living entities and then determ ine
our ow n need for purification. W e h ave to attain to the m ode of
goodness in order to understand spiritual know ledge.
A ctually, to understand V edic know ledge we h ave to attain
to the truest defin ition o f the brah m in ical nature and under
stan d th at the goal o f V edic study is to practice devotional ser
vice to K rsna. It is n ot possible to know K rsna deeply from the
m odes o f passion and ignorance.
In Satya-yuga, alm ost everyone was situated in the m ode of
goodness and was therefore eligible to study the Vedas. In Kali-
yuga, however, being situated in the m ode o f goodness is practi
cally unheard of. T h a t m eans that the Vedas are now alm ost out
o f reach in their original form; they can n ot actually help the
stunted people o f Kali-yuga. T herefore V yasadeva edited the
Vedas to m ake them accessible. H e presented the cream o f Vedic
understanding in the B hagavata P u ran a, and he presented the
M ahabhdrata, w hich con tain s the B hagavad'gitd. Editing the
Vedas took am azing intelligence; therefore he is called B h ag
avan. H is im petus to perform this great work was sim ply mercy,
w hich is characteristic o f the Lord and H is great devotees.
Srila Prabhupada said, however, th at we h ave to aspire to go
beyond the m ode o f goodness to the tran scenden tal suddha-
sattv a platform . T h a t is the m ean in g o f V aisn ava, w hich is what
he exp ected us to becom e. W ith that definition, we should not
be too quick to claim V aisn ava status for ourselves. T h e natural
ch aracteristic o f a V aisn ava is that he thinks he has no love for
Krsna. R ather, he always sees h im self as the servant o f the ser
v an t o f the servan t a hundred tim es rem oved. T h a t is his real
qualification . W hen the Srim ad 'B h agavatam describes the ign o
rance o f those born in Kali-yuga, we should actually identify
w ith those statem en ts. T h a t’s us. W h en we see ourselves in the
pages o f the B h agavatam , we will also understand th at it was for
us th at the Bhagavatam was w ritten.
A n d we should aspire realistically. We m ay h ave to start our

asp iratio n by learn in g to d evelop brah m in ical q u alities—
p atien ce an d tolerance, sim plicity and devotion. T h o se who are
clouded by passion are too am bitious for their sense gratifica
tion. T h ey becom e attach ed to pow er and opulence. How, then,
can they sit dow n and hear the Bhagavatam ? T h ey can barely sit
still. T h o se in ignorance sleep or rem ain dull even w hen they
are aw ake. T h ey prefer fantasy worlds to the real world o f the
B h agavatam . Persons who are too crazy, or who dwell in delu
sion, are n ot attracted by the sane, clear atm osphere o f the
Srim ad-B h agavatam . We cu ltivate brahm inical life by practicin g
clean lin ess and regularity, by hearing scriptures, and by serving
the guru. W e also m ust learn to becom e subm issive.
S till, even those in the lower m odes can clim b im m ediately
to the K rsna con scious platform if they ch an t the holy nam e.
We h ave all actually avoided the long, arduous clim b described
in the V edas th at span s lifetim es o f ignorance, th en passion,
th en goodness, and vikarm a to karm a-yoga to jn a n a to bhakti.
T h a t is the beauty o f the H are K rsna m antra. Prabhupada said
it works like an elevator and can deliver us at once to the tran
scen den tal realm . T h a t d oesn ’t m ean th at we can ch an t and
purposely cu ltivate the lower m odes; it m eans that we go with
the flow o f the elevation , actin g always on our present realiza
tion, an d although we m ay always lack som e o f the niceties of
brah m in ical life, our d evotio n will n ot be blocked. We can
becom e “ thoroughly h on est,” as the Bhagavatam says, and we
can learn to appreciate pure d evotion even if we never becom e
perfectly situated in goodness.
It appears th at in the present age perhaps more than in any
oth er age, understanding K rsna is depen den t on the L o rd’s
m ercy as given through H is devotees. O ur only duty, therefore,
is to reach out for mercy and to serve pure devotees. Yasya
prasad ad bhagavat-prasado: if we please the spiritual master, then
we can m ake spiritual advan cem en t. O therw ise our destin ation
is unknow n.
Vyasadeva took the trouble to present Krsna consciousness in a

form we could all assimilate. N o one should claim they are not
inclined to read his books. A lthough we have so many books, Srila
Prabhupada said that four o f his books were enough to take us back
to G odhead. T h e Bhagavatam states, nasta-prayesv abhadresu, nit'
yam bhdgavata'Sevaya: we have to hear daily, with faith.
K indhearted, powerful V yasadeva divided the Vedas “so that
they may be practically followed by less intelligent persons.”
Practical, Srila Prabhupada says, m eans that som ething actually
gets done, not a dream or idea o f acting. Practical means practiced.
W e have to actually take Krsna consciousness into our lives.
W e h ave received enough m ercy in this age through Vyasa-
deva and his representatives to purify us com pletely. We may be
callou s toward it, or lack faith, and we may con vin ce ourselves
m ore o f our m isfortune th an our actual fortune. In th at case, we
assum e th at K rsna could n ot (th at is, d oesn ’t h ave the pow er to)
love such a low person. W hy would H e give us mercy? O r we
m ay be so selfish or unsubm issive th at we decide to define mercy
by our ow n terms. T h is verse should im pel us to appreciate the
real nature o f K rsna’s mercy and to take advan tage o f it as it is
com in g dow n to us in disciplic succession.
If you w ant to understand any o f this, you h ave to read

Prabh upada’s books. It’s all there. I read at m idnight under a bat-
tery-run lam p, gleaning w hat I can. My poor m an ’s work is how
I com m u n icate it because we should preach both for our b en e
fit and for the benefit o f others.
V yasadeva was powerful and kind. I already said that. H e is a
real person, som eone like Prabhupada. I was not born and raised
in a culture th at would accep t V yasadeva as real. T h e n in what
culture was I raised? I was a nom in al C ath o lic. T h a t is, I never
really studied religion. My “culture” was pop A m erican. I call
my C a th o lic faith a religion, but th at’s a real m isnom er. I was
raised in the A m erican karmi consciousness o f the 1940s, ’50s,
and ’60s. M y sarhskdras were my fath er’s work eth ics and A llen
Freed’s rock ’n ’ roll show. I was m olded like a piece o f clay by my
paren ts and environm ent. Pinched and wounded 1 grew like a
skinny plan t reaching for the sun. O ur experien ces in the hom e
and in the streets, in the sch ool and especially in the school
yard, w ith boys and with girls, m others and fathers and sisters
and brothers, with television, shape us into the people we will
becom e, our prejudices.
T h e n I m et Sw am iji and seriously accepted Krsna conscious-
ness. By then 1 was more my own person, and I was choosing to
som e degree the forces that would impress them selves upon me—
the Navy, college, Dr. A lexan der and English literature, the par
ticular authors I read, my desires and intellectualizations . . .
I cam e to K rsna consciousness relatively late in life; 1 was
tw enty-six. 1 was already form ed, or m is-form ed, in so m any
ways. Finally I was studying and p racticin g religion. L earned to
depen d on the spiritual master. W illing to accep t his im pression
on my already overly im pressed heart. H e was my V yasadeva—
powerful and kind— and he desired th at 1 becom e K rsna co n
scious m ore th an I could understand. H e never presented Krsna
con sciousn ess as a sectarian religion with us as converts. H e
knew th at K rsna was G o d and th at it was in everyone’s self-
interest to learn the scien ce o f love. T h a t’s how he taught.
A n d I m et V yasadeva through him . A lth o u gh you could say
th at w hatever I now know is from a secon dhan d im pression, 1
d o n ’t agree. H e literally handed me my red beads after ch an tin g
a round on them and I began to ch an t. I actually bought the
Bhagavatam from S rila Prabhupada and was touched to read that
V yasadeva was not satisfied even after he wrote all those books.
H e needed to write o f pure bhakti.
1 th ought I understood som eth ing o f V yasadcva’s dissatisfac
tion because 1 was a writer myself. Som eh ow that had com e out
o f m e. It was n ot one of the extern al things that had shaped
me. It was already inside o f me: I w anted to express m yself in
writing. W riting was my religion. I was fascin ated by the cre

ative process an d by the freedom I h ad to explore it. V yasadeva
w as a writer too, but he gave us the Bhagavatam.
E ven then I w anted to discover how m uch that m eant to me,
how m uch o f it felt real, how m uch o f it I was w illing to repeat
w ithout realization. How m uch o f it is secondhand. I am looking
for my own genuineness, although I accept a certain m easure of
superficiality to get me through. But w hat is my actual experi
ence in spiritual life? T h a t has always been im portant to me.
A n d som etim es I’m haunted by the dichotom y betw een my
A m erican upbringing and the way o f life Srila Prabhupada gave
us. It’s like the old question, “ If you’re going to be religious, why
n ot be religious in the religion in w hich you were raised?” We
learn early to discrim in ate betw een the two, though, and I see
th at fate brought me to the Sw am i an d the V edic way. It was rel
atively late in life, so I am som etim es tortured by my A m erican
pop culture im pressions, but the w eight o f years has dim inished
those im pressions and replaced them w ith im pressions from life
in IS K C O N an d o f ch an tin g the holy nam e. I spen t twenty-six
years outside o f IS K C O N and now over thirty years inside. T h e
balan ce is turning.
A fte r saying all this, I w ant to acknow ledge that I w ant as a

real person to write a real book. I w ant it to be incidentally a
K rsna con scious book. I w ant it to be centrally a K rsna conscious
book. It w ould be nice if it w’ere a hundred percent K rsna c o n
scious, but I am not a hundred percent K rsna conscious, so I
ca n ’t exp ect that. S till, if I write honestly and a percentage o f it
is K rsna conscious, the reader will be able to appreciate even
m ore th at the K rsna con scious portion is genuine. I d id n ’t
attem p t to present m yself as som ething th at I’m not.
W e already w ent through those days o f presenting ourselves
as som eth in g we were not. I am accused as one o f those who for
the nine years after Prabhupada’s disappearance presented h im
self as a perfect soul. T h a t’s an interlude o f its ow n in my life

w hich I could explore m ore— my wrong and guilt. T h e guru
experien ce, the overdone im age o f m yself as a pure devotee
accep tin g oth ers’ offerings and w orship an d claim in g to guide
them . I ten d to overlook th at now an d say it’s in the past. Like
anyone, I w ant to m ove forward and live in the present. T h e
fact is, I’m still actin g as guru. I h ave disciples’ m eetings planned
in A p ril, an d today I am exp ectin g the m ail from the m any souls
w ho con sider th at I can give them relevan t, spiritual advice. In
the nam e o f honesty, I som etim es h ave to adm it to th at too,
here in this book, and yet get beyond th at d esign ation to who I
really am .
W e are each both com plex and sim ple. O n ce I asked Prabhu
pada, “O u t o f all the persons I could be, w hich one does Krsna
w ant me to be?” It was a roundabout, com plicated question, and
I was confused. Prabhupada cut through w ith his answer: “T h is
boy S te v e is nice. H e types and gives money. You should all be
like h im .” M aybe life is like th at. W e’re actually sim ple. T h e
com p lication s are artificial. W e ju st h ave to be a person and do
w hat is m ost favorable for our bhakti. S om etim es th at m eans giv
ing w hat we love m ost. I give him my w riting life— n ot just the
yeom an w riting o f official philosophy, but the real life, the life
as I live it.
O h , but is th at individual cry necessary? W hy ca n ’t you just
fu nction and use w hatever intelligence and talen t you h ave to
preach the straight line? W hy does it h ave to be poetry?
B ecause th a t’s who I am.
But we d o n ’t know w ho we are. In the m ean tim e, we’re p o st
m en. W e’re supposed to take the perfect m essage and deliver it.
W e d o n ’t open it along the way and decide how we feel about
it. W e stay sim ple. Be like a bank clerk. C o u n t the m oney and
put it in the drawer. You d o n ’t h ave to pocket it first. T h a t’s
w hat a real preach er does.
W ell, th at m ay be true, but even if a p ostm an d oesn ’t open
the letter, h e’s m ore th an the m an who delivers the m ail. He
goes hom e where he has a family. H e spends his salary on things

th at m ean som eth in g to him . H e has a soul and a heart and flesh
and blood. D elivering the m ail d oesn ’t constitute his whole
being, even if he m anages to be a m essenger and not a cheat.
T h e sam e with the ban k clerk. M aybe h e’s not an embezzler, and
m aybe he dresses in the con servative bank uniform , but when
he goes to lunch, m aybe he falls in love. M aybe h e’s angry or
frustrated or diseased. T h e ban k clerk has a soul, and he has a
right to develop and express it.
Bein g a sannyasi in IS K C O N does n ot entirely consum e me.
I w ear the saffron uniform and I d o n ’t cheat, but I also like to
m ix m odes o f expression and m ake a book. I especially like to
represent the Srimad-Bhagavatam. I’m the bank clerk and more,
the postm an and more. My heart continues to beat underneath
the uniform and the actu al act o f preaching. My heart also
yearns to pray.
0 Lord, I w ant to be Your devotee. I
w ant to understand the Bhagavatam and
to write on its them es both to build my
own faith and to build the faith o f o th
ers. I know I am actin g as a writer and
that I go beyond even that. I am w rit
ing to the self and to You. T h ey are
m utually inclusive.
1 am ignorant o f to whom Vyasa was

kind. I am the one who still rem em bers
th at ch ildren ’s 78 rpm record about
S a n ta ’s w orkshop. I m ust have heard it when I was very sm all—
n o m usic, but Mr. and M rs. C la u s talking at their w orkshop at
the N o rth Pole. T h ey were busy m aking toys and preparing for
S a n ta (I ju st wrote the word “K rsna” instead of S a n ta and then
crossed it out. Please forgive m e). A t one poin t the door to the
w orkshop open ed an d the wind-up soldiers m arched out. “Sh u t
the door! S h u t the d oor!” Mrs. C lau s shouted. T h e scene was busy
and noisy, happy with elves ham m ering. I thought it was actually
recorded at the N orth Pole, right in S a n ta ’s toy shop. W hy do I
m ention it now? Because I allow m em ories to surface here.
T h a t p ot is spittin g again, the w ater hissing as it h its the h ot
stove. Let it be.
H ow are you out there, folks? D o you believe in S an ta?
S h o u ld we close the door before the soldiers m arch out? O
R udolph , O m ortal fram e— all those years o f delusion. N ow my
fath er is dead. People write o f their paren ts’ death, but I w asn’t
even inform ed o f my own fath er’s passing away until alm ost ten
years later. I’m the alien ated cultist.
T h a t’s all right. N arad a had a sim ilar situation — an orphan
blessed w ith spiritual life. If you’ve got a nice relationship with
your parents, good; give them K rsna consciousness. I am grate
ful th at K rsna has protected me from attach m ent. He knows I
am soft clay. I need to be free to be a devotee, the son o f a true
father, and to be m olded by him .
T h a n k You, Lord, and
I write th is m issive
w hile boilin g water spits and hisses.
If I could sing
I’d say
“W atch out, world,
you’re h ead in g for disaster.”
O world, taste the mercy o f K rsna consciousness.
C h a n t the holy nam es.
D rop your pride
an d sim ply rem em ber th at you will die.
C a ll ou t G o d ’s nam e in love.
L e t m e accep t this advice for myself.
T h e w orst is yet to com e. A d evotee has hari-nama. I’m not
such a savior or warrior or scholar, but I h ave hari-nama. C h a n t
w hile you can.
M ercy d escen d s an d m akes us eligib le to receive the

Dhagavatam's m essage. O therw ise we are stuck in the lower
m odes. T h e m ode o f goodness is also m aterial. W ithout under-
stan d in g th at K rsna is the goal o f the Vedas, we can n ot surpass
it, but fall back dow n to passion and ignorance. I could get a
good m ark on a K rsna conscious theory exam for sann^dsis.
Q : W hat is the goal o f the Vedas ?
A : K rsna is the goal. Vedais ca sarvair.
But d o n ’t ask me to quote too m any slokas. I w ouldn’t be able
to do that. O h , and I’m n ot so good on the intricacies of
Sarikhya-yoga. O r at splitting hairs about karm a and free will
(i.e. understanding to w hat degree we are able to act in the
w orld and to w hat degree the m aterial nature is actin g upon us).
A n d I’ve never stopped to m emorize certain bhajanas. I bluff my
way through, and if they ask me to sing them , I defer to others.
M y brain is ju st too old to m aster too m uch new stuff. I get by
on w hat I know.
I’m w riting this w hile an unopened FedEx package from the

U .S . sits on the ch air beside me. It con tain s about three w eeks’
w orth o f forwarded m ail. I decided to write first this m orning,
th en open the package. I know I should take the m ail seriously
and I do. I alw ays divide it up into bundles first, and only peek
a t the few th at look like they m ight explode overnigh t. T h e n
I’ll answ er them . If only I knew w hat to say.
O V yasadeva, I w ant to read your book in a quiet place and

always rem ain a devotee. T h e world thinks I am irrelevant, but
I d o n ’t care. W h at m atters is th at I believe in your pow er and
kindness, dear B h agavan Vyasa, and the mercy o f my spiritual
m aster, Srila Prabhupada. A n y one o f the nine lim bs can save
me. I am alone now and will be alone at death, but not co m
pletely alone. I will have you by my side in the form o f your
instructions. But the world does not w ant that. T h ey think
death is the end. N o poin t giving it any energy. T h a t’s their

ignorance— the ignorance we h ave to counterm and. T h ey place
all th eir hopes in more liberal govern m en ts, more kindness
toward w om en and blacks and peace betw een C h ristian s and
M uslim s. You have already given the solution, but they are too
m ad to h ear it.
I had a w onderful dream this m orning. I was back as Prabhu

p ad a’s personal servant. It was a com pletely selfless service. I
d id n ’t even h ave tim e to urinate. In one scene I was urinating
and a tem ple d evotee cam e up to me and said th at Prabhupada
was ringing his bell to call me. I asked him if it was actually the
serv an t’s bell and he said yes. I realized th at although I h ad n ’t
yet em ptied my bladder, I had to go and do my duty. I had to
stop w hat I was doing and tend to Prabh upada’s needs. T h e n dif
ferent devotees gathered around m e asking if they could give
Prabh upada his m assage. It was up to me to decide who was
qualified, although I would probably give the m assage myself. I
felt special, but n ot proud. A servant. T h a t’s all.
T h ere was no room in the dream to stan d apart and observe
it. I was w ith Prabhupada, w orking to serve him. I liked it.
A ctually, “ like” is n ot the word. I was there cen t percent. I’m
grateful to h ave h ad such a dream . I do rem em ber one m om ent
in the dream where I had a m om ent to reflect on my good for
tune. I realized th at I had w anted to serve Prabhupada like this
and now I had the opportunity. T h e n I rushed h eadlon g into my
service again , foregoing my bodily needs in order to serve him .
T h ere is no place like Finglas, they say, or like a warm room

where you keep open in g the door to let in air. T h e m orning
grows long and I’ll get my h eadach e, but first this. Prabhupada,
Prabhupada, we h ave m ism anaged, but I am with you and have
forgotten all my illusions o f grandeur and my H enry M iller
prose. I ju st w ant you to n ot be in con ven ienced. Please allow
me to relieve your burden som ehow — get you a taxi, arrange

your m eals, give you a m assage. I still w ant to be with you, to be
your servan t. Please ring your bell again.
IS K C O N World Review reports th at G au ra-G o v in d a Sw am i

has passed away. T h ey print it right n ext to a story with a p ic
ture o f a H are K rsna devotee who has produced a classical music
record by Paul M cCartney. N ew spapers are so insensitive the
way they ju xtap ose their news. It can be jarring.
W h at will be n ext to the n otice o f when I pass away? A new
pastry shop open s in Denver, they’re preaching to old ladies in
K alam azoo. It’s no good. You die and they use the wrong picture.
“T h e new s o f my d eath has been greatly exaggerated.” Should
we say n oth in g at all? W here did he go? N o one knows. How
can they report it properly? T h e world d oesn ’t stop w hen som e
one dies. N o , no.
Text 25
s tri -sudra-dvijabandhunam
trayi na sruti-gocara
karma-sreyasi mudhandm
sreya evarh bhaved iha
iti bharatam akhyanam

krpaya munina krtam
Out of compassion, the great sage thought it wise that this

would enable men to achieve the ultimate goal of life. Thus he
compiled the great historical narration called the Mahabharata
for women, laborers and friends of the twice-born.
Comment
Srila Prabhupada quoted the first two lines o f this verse often.
In the purport he defines dvija-bandhu as one who has descended
from a brahm inical fam ily but who him self does n ot possess the
q ualification s o f a brahmana. T herefore he is called “son of a
brahm ana." T h is alone indicates that brahm inical status is not
awarded m erely by birth. If one is a son o f high court judge, he
can n o t claim th at he is also a high court judge w ithout having
obtained the education al credits and other qualifications.
T h e first qualification for becom ing a brahmana is th at o n e ’s
p aren ts perform the garbhadhdna-sam skara at c o n ce p tio n .
Garbhadhdna-sam skara confers blessings and san ctifies the c o u
ple, assuring good progeny. T h ere is a vital co n n ection betw een
the con sciousn ess o f a couple co n ceivin g a ch ild and the nature
o f the ch ild they will attract. T h e Bhagavatam also teach es this
in the story o f D iti and K asyapa. Because D iti approach ed Kas-
yapa at an inauspicious tim e, and because he responded not
w ith con trol but with lust, they con ceived twin dem on sons.
Garbhadhana-samskdra is rarely perform ed by any fam ilies in
this age. O n this accoun t alone, no one is born brahmana. A side
from th is sam skara, however, people in Kali-yuga lack other
brah m in ical qualification s. U ltim ately the scriptures state, kalau
sudra sambhavah, everyone in Kali-yuga is considered less in telli
gen t and low born. T h e stin g o f being called sudra is rem oved
w hen we realize V yasad eva’s mercy. H e produced a literature by
w hich we can raise ourselves to brah m inical status and beyond.
Prabh upada writes, “ It is a great science, and the great professor

is th e L ord H im se lf in th e form o f L o rd S ri C a ita n y a
M ah aprabhu. A n d persons who are em pow ered by H im can in i
tiate others in the tran scen den tal loving service o f the L ord.”
T h a t we are all sudras covers all persons in this age. T h is
verse groups w om en, sudras, and dvija-bandhus together, statin g
th at they are generally not qualified to study the Vedas. T h e
original Vedas co n tain m ainly rites, m antras, and philosophy.
T h u s V yasadeva also wrote the M ahabharata, an exciting story
th at draws the reader in. A s we read o f the Pan davas and their
struggles, we also receive essential V edic philosophy in the form
o f the Bhagavad'gita, w hich is set like a jew el w ithin the Mahd-
bharata. S o the tran scen den tal collaborators, V yasadeva and
Lord K rsna, acted on b eh alf o f the fallen souls.
IS K C O N devotees shouldn ’t think th at we h ave au tom ati
cally risen to a status above the three lower classes. Lord C a i
tanya says th at we should think o f ourselves as lower th an a
blade o f grass. How, then, are we able to read the post-graduate
literature in the form o f the Srim ad'Bhagavatam and C aitanya-
caritam rta? W h at are our qualifications?
T h e fact is th at we have been perm itted to live in the rarefied
atm osph ere o f the holy dhamas, either in V rn davan a or M aya-
pur or in our local IS K C O N dhamas. We have also been per
m itted to savor the n ectar o f the holy nam es. H ave we jum ped
over our actu al status as sudras, w om en, and dvija-bandhus? N o,
we are follow ing Srila Prabhupada and accepting his mercy.
S rila p rab h u p ad a has provided us with a step-by-step approach
to K rsna consciousness, but it is also a quick-m oving one. For
exam ple, we begin by studying the Bhagavad-gitd, the A B C s o f
spiritual know ledge. T h e n we study the Srim ad'Bhagavatam ,
always under the spiritual m aster’s guidance, inquiring from him
subm issively and rendering him service. T h is is our vaidhi-bhakti,
our regulated bhakti th at gradually delivers us our q ualification
by the guru’s mercy to practice spontaneous devotion. In the
m eantim e, we also develop the qualities of brahm inical life. T hose

qualities becom e especially strong when we m aintain our initia
tion vows. T h o se vows autom atically allow us to practice nonvio
lence, cleanliness, tolerance, and mercy. A side from the standard
regulative principles and practices o f bhakd-yoga, no other
sarhskdras are possible or necessary.
T h ere are m any verses th at substan tiate th at low born per
son s can rise to the highest platform . T h e Bhagavatam states,
kirata-hundndhra-pulinda pulkasa . . . T h is verse lists the tribes o f
low born persons an d asserts th at they can all becom e uplifted to
pure V aisn avas by the power o f bhakti-yoga. It is also stated:
sat-karma-nipuno vipro
mantra'tantra-visaradah
avaisnavo gurur na syad
vaisnavah sva-paco guruh
Even if a brahmana is very learned in Vedic scripture and knows

the six occupational duties of a brahmaiya, he cannot become a
guru or spiritual master unless he is a devotee of the Supreme
Personality of Godhead. However, if one is born in a family of
dog-eaters, but is a pure devotee of the Lord, he can become a
spiritual master.
— Padma Purana
O u r real q u alification is our ability to receive mercy. We

d o n ’t h ave to ch an ge our bodies to becom e qualified; we sim ply
h ave to ch an ge our m inds and m ake them receptive. Lord
Brah m a states:
jfiane prayasam udapasya namanta eva

jivanti san-mukhantain bhavadiya-vartam
sthane sthitah sruti-gatam tanu-van manobhir
ye prayaso 'jita jito 'py asi cais tri-bkyam
T hose who, even while remaining situated in their established

social positions, throw away the process o f speculative knowl
edge and with their body, words and mind offer all respects to
descriptions o f Your personality and activities, dedicating their
lives to these narrations, which are vibrated by You personally
and by Your pure devotees, certainly conquer Your Lordship,
although You are otherwise unconquerable by anyone within
the three worlds.
— B hag. 10.14.3
A n o th e r question may be raised that persons in the lower

m odes o f nature or who h ave taken a low birth d on ’t h ave the
qu alification s to understand the Vedas, yet in Prabhupada’s pur
ports the goal o f the Vedas is repeatedly stated as devotional ser
vice to Krsna. W hy is th at so hard to understand?
W hen Prabhupada or other acaryas say th at som eth ing is dif
ficult to understand, they are not usually referring to the in tel
lectual grasp o f a topic as m uch as the ability or w illingness to
practically apply its conclusion. U n derstan ding devotion is so
difficult because few people w ant to practice it. T h ey are too
unsubm issive or too unw illing to sacrifice their sense gratifica
tion for K rsn a’s pleasure. T h is indicates th at although they may
h ave grasped the philosophy intellectually, they h ave not
understood and taken the con clusion to heart. T h is is because
people generally m ain tain “ m any-branched” intelligence. T hey
span their in telligen ce betw een intellectual and sensual pursuits
w ith little room left for spiritual understanding. T h a t m eans
th at they can n o t develop the determ in ation necessary to apply
spiritual principles.
Prabhupada said th at Krsna consciousness is sim ple for those
w ho are sim ple, but alm ost im possible for those with crooked
hearts (duratm as). Prabhupada com m ended the W esterners that
at least they were not offensive or overly prejudiced against
K rsna. B ecause Indians are steeped in V edic con cepts from
birth, often w ith no clear idea o f the goal o f Vedic understand
ing, they practice a hodgepodge religion o f w orshiping the

dem igods on the sam e level as the Suprem e Lord. Becom ing
qualified to receive V yasadeva’s mercy relates to our attitude. If
we are sim ple-hearted and subm issive enough to hear that
dem igod w orship is inferior, or th at K rsna is Suprem e w hile the
dem igods are subordinate, or th at K rsna is the sam e G o d th at
the C h ristian s w orship but ju st a more intim ate aspect o f H im ,
then we are subm issive enough to understand more.
Prabhupada says th at our subm issiveness will increase as we
realize the urgency of practicing spiritual life. If we d o n ’t feel that
death is practically upon us and know that we could be swept
away by tim e and karm a, we will n ot feel the necessity to give up
our sen se gratificatio n and m en tal specu lation . T h erefore
Prabhupada defines qualification to hear not in esoteric terms—
we d on ’t h ave to know any
WsyyvOv j secret m antras or perform
| ‘S b A h aA j any Vedic rites or be born in
JÔuKcia a ^r^ lTna7ya fam ily or even
i\ h ave been purified through
samskdras— but according to
the can d id ate’s subm ission
and surrender to a bona fide
spiritual master.
R eal know ledge culm in ates in d evotio n to Krsna. We need to

hear o f K rsn a’s suprem acy in the Bhagavad-gita, and we need to
be careful n ot to hear from the wrong source, especially from the
non devotees, even if they claim to be saints or V edic scholars.
M ilk touch ed by the lips o f a serpent causes poisonous effects.
I was ju st reading Lord C a ita n y a ’s n arration o f M adhavendra

Puri. H e praised M adh aven dra for serving K rsna steadfastly and
for living alone. Because he was afraid to speak prajalpa,
M adh aven dra Puri lived w ithout a com pan ion . I know we c a n ’t
im itate th at, but I liked the p oin t th at we should avoid talking

about m undane things; som etim es th a t’s difficult w hen we live
with others. W e w ant to keep our m inds fixed on Krsna.
In the m ail yesterday I received a letter from a brother who
is usually active in traveling and preaching. H e wrote, “A t the
present m om ent I am on sabbatical, reading and ch an tin g m uch
m ore and absorbing my m ind in the wonderful n ectar o f Srila
P rabh upada’s book s.” H e is p lan n in g to base h im self at a bha-
jana-kutir in a country asram a and invite people there for semi-
nars. It m ade m e th ink how I should also get more absorbed in
K rsna consciousness. T h is is how we en liven one another.
T h is brother also said he was inspired to read two verses th at
state th at K rsna con sciousn ess is easy to perform . T h ese verses
are in praise o f Srimad-Bhagavatam and they both appear in the
S eco n d C a n to :
Persons who hear Srimad-Bhagavatam regularly and are always

taking the m atter very seriously will have the Personality of
G odhead Sri Krsna manifested in their hearts within a short
time.
T h e sound incarnation o f Lord Krsna, the Supreme Lord [i.e.
Srimad-Bhagavatam], enters into the heart of a self-realized
devotee, sits on the lotus flower of his loving relationship, and
thus cleanses the dust of m aterial association, such as lust, anger
and hankering. Thus it acts like autum nal rains upon pools of
muddy water.
— Bhag. 2.8.4-5
“T h e effect o f the lower m odes o f nature im m ediately begins

to calm dow n and the heart becom es peaceful. N o oth er spiri
tual literature can effect this ch an ge.” R ead the Bhagavatam.
S rila Prabhupada is our guide and can deliver us the highest
states in K rsna consciousness. Yes, this is true.
G e ttin g ou t o f m aterial life isn’t easy. T h e M ayavadis say it

can be done by know ing th at we are Brah m an, but K rsna says
true know ledge m eans to recognize the Suprem e Lord as the
m aster o f all an d to surrender to H im in devotion. Bhakti is the
liberating force. O n e who knows the activities and appearance
o f K rsna in this world d oesn ’t have to take birth again in this
world, but goes to the spiritual world at death. If we can be so
interested in krsna-kathd that n othin g else captures our m inds,
then K rsna will take us to H im in the spiritual world.
O h , for th at day.
Yes, let’s please be an im proved species. I am in favor o f it. I
am w illing to con vert im m ediately, to follow in M adh aven dra
Puri’s footsteps and only think and talk o f K rsna. I w ant to be
ash am ed o f any sense gratification th at creeps into my m ind,
and I certain ly d o n ’t w ant to act on it.
A m I jokin g? Being im practical?
N o , I’m n ot joking, even though the day is filled with
m ech an ical chores and this room gets too h ot and I h ave to
open an d close the door all day. C a n I m ake these activities
K rsna con scious? T h ey seem so harm less— basic m ain ten an ce—
and there is no reason that I c a n ’t think o f K rsna w hile I do
them . W h a t’s actually being con dem n ed in the Bhagavatam is
th at we spend tim e on anything th at does n ot focus on krsna-
bhakti. W h en ever we read the Bhagavatam, and since it’s co m
ing up, these passages where N arad a instructs Vyasa, we should
w onder w hether we are guilty o f the sam e thing.
W e say, “ Sure, I’ll think about it,” but then we close ourselves
off to all the possible im plications o f our guilt. If it m eans we
h ave to give up som eth in g th at is dear to us, som eth in g that is
perhaps only m arginally con n ected to K rsna, we wonder if we
w ant to, or we justify our m ain tain in g it.
Som etim es I think like that about my writing. Som eon e once
told me that I should renounce writing until I had matured. He
thought I should wait until I had som ething really valuable to say.
W hew, th at’s heavy. I’d have to think that one over some more.
B ack again.
W h at h appen ed?
I read th at you should always be K rsna conscious and th at
you sh ouldn ’t engage in m undane thoughts and occupations.
T h e n my inner critic started roughing me up. I w on’t repeat all
his argum ents here, but I’m sure you can guess w hat he h ad to
say. H e ’s finally let up on the pressure and I’m back to tell the
awful truth.
H are Krena. T h ere is no joy in M udville—
m ighty C asey h as struck out.
M in d exposed in flow
o f words
th at com e
from my black indoor
booties an d the
silver flash o f my S e ik o w atchband.
I ad m it I trem ble
flin ch
was co n tam in ated , and
let it flow through m e and out.
I laughed but you d id n ’t hear it.
W hile crum pling up new spapers for the fire, an ad for J a
pan ese m otorcycles caugh t my eye. It said, “You gotta believe it.
T h is m achine is so gorgeous you w on’t w ant to keep it in the
garage.” B ut the p h oto was o f w hat looked to m e to be an ordi
nary m otorcycle. T h e ad w riter told “ the big lie.” T h a t was no
extraordinarily beautiful m otorcycle. I w asn’t fooled.
T h e critic w ould h ave con dem n ed me for glan cin g at th at ad.
W ell, am I con dem n ed because I reflected on som e sm all c o n
tact I h ad with the world?
T h ree m atches, six quarts blood, and people die on the street.
I’ve arrived at the stage o f always w anting to talk o f K rsna and
dem an d in g n oth in g less.
V yasa, we are all less intelligent in this age. I know th at we

h ave m isused this design ation an d applied it m ore specifically to
I S K C O N ’s w om en. W hy are w om en discussed as if they h ave far
less in telligen ce and as a gender h avin g only the design ation s of
wife and m other and n oth in g else?
I w on’t touch th at now, but will leave it for the forum s and
p an els an d new sletters. I sim ply w ant to m aintain.
Text 26
evam pravrttasya sadd

bhutandm sreyasi dvijah
sarvdtmakenapi yadd
ndtusyad dhrdayam tatah
O twice-born brahmanas, still his mind was not satisfied,

although he engaged himself in working for the total welfare
of all people.
Text 27
natiprasidad dhrdayah
sarasvatyas tate sucau
vitarkayan vwikta-stha
idam covaca dharma-vit
T h us the sage, being dissatisfied at heart, at once began to

reflect, because he knew the essence of religion, and he said
within himself:
Comment
N ow the top ic o f V yasadeva’s dissatisfaction begins, ft will be
develo p ed thoroughly in the Srim ad'Bhdgam tam . We m ust re
m em ber th at V yasadeva is h im self the narrator, although here
he is describing h im self in the third person. It is an intriguing

and disturbing note. W h at’s the m atter? V yasadeva introduces
the subject as a puzzle. “ It was expected th at he would be satis
fied ,” S rila Prabhupada writes. Som eo n e who is above m aterial
sense gratification , who is atmdrama or self-satisfied, and w ho
has ded icated h im self to helping others— we w ould expect th at
at least he w ould feel satisfaction. B ut no. V yasadeva th en looks
w ithin to find the cause o f his unhappiness.
D evotees w ant to im m ediately apply this particular sectio n o f
the Bhagavatam to them selves or to th eoretical cases in I S K
C O N . “W hy do we feel dissatisfied even w hen our activities are
san ctio n ed ?” “Why, after steadily doing service for m any years,
does som eon e w ant to give it up to do more direct service for the
spiritual m aster? Is that an im m ature understanding?”
Q u estio n s grind axes. We beg the question for ourselves. But
w hat about V yasadeva and the history? L e t’s stay with him while
we can. W e can find personal ap plication s later. T h e Bhag-
avatam ’s histories are m ean t to be studied in them selves. Few are
allegorical. W e need to feel with the m ain characters first and
apply the lessons later. T h a t’s part o f gettin g the mercy too.
T aste V yasad eva’s bitterness, his profound puzzlement, and
N a ra d a ’s mercy. W e need guru; even V yasadeva needed guru. It’s
from guru th at we learn about root causes.
It is hot in here! Pines stan din g tall outside. We h ave a tittle

more th an a week left here, although already we are being
pulled out through faxes about m oney an d upcom ing m eetings.
I can tell you, herm its dread fax m achines. T h e ir sheeny tex-
tured paper com es rolling out w ith its greasy, printed surface and
stretch es right into the woods. T h a t paper is hard to resist. It sits
there in a roll on your desk. H ow can you avoid reading it? T h e
print boun ces off your eyes, black shine against white. Did I
h ave a dream about this? S o m any even ts in w aking life seem to
suggest som eth in g I dream t, but they elude me later.
V yasadeva w rote the right books but he

was n ot satisfied, n ot at heart.
W h at is heart, an d w h at’s the m atter?
If I heard th at 1 d id n ’t write directly about K rsna
w ould I be able to ch ange th at?
N o on e exp ects m e to be satisfied.

T h e re ’s always peas under my m attress
an d qu o tin g oth er authors d oesn ’t help.
W h en the sun beats on me I get a h eadach e,
an d I feel a splin ter under my skin.
0 adhyatmic ailm en ts, I am n o t this body.
B ut I’m dissatisfied and d o n ’t know
why I ca n ’t love K rsna, or why
1 d o n ’t.
R o b in red-breast, I saw you return

o n your yellow spindly legs,
stan d in g on a three-foot stum p.
You look here and there for
bears? T h e coyote
I h eard yipping in the dark this
m orning?
A re you dissatisfied?
I like it th at V yasadeva began his search by looking w ithin.

H e knew it w asn’t a m aterial d issatisfaction , n ot som ething
related to body or m ind. H e searched his heart for the root
cause, w hich is always beyond matter.
W e applaud the writer.

S till h e’s dissatisfied.
G iv e h im an award, poign an t
ap p reciation : “ I cried w hen
I read your essay.” Still
n ot satisfied.
W h at the h ell does he w ant?
C a ro b pies with w hipped cream to rem ind him o f M om ?

Peace? A free trip to anywhere? H e ought to be satisfied.
M y life’s a joke, but not V yasa’s. We tend to seek happiness
elsewhere than the self. It’s a com m on disease. Just look at all the
dejected-looking people. N o joie de vivre. M arilyn M onroe com
m its suicide, Elvis gorges him self to death— no one can keep fame
and youth forever, and what was once satisfying later turns into
poison. T h a t’s how it is. Prabhupada says, “ Perfection is never
attained until one is satisfied at heart. T h is satisfaction o f heart
has to be searched out beyond m atter.” (Bhdg. 1.4.27, purport)
D issatisfied also m eans not sati-

ated. It could m ean we would never
tire o f h earing krsna'katha if we
w ould only give ourselves a chance.
V yasa’s dissatisfaction is som ething
different. H e did som eth ing that
seem ed good and im portant and for
w hich the sages praised him, but
w ithin his own self he did n ’t feel
happiness. W hen we feel that our
selves, we know that we have to go
all out in K rsna con sciousn ess. N o th in g else will satisfy.
M aterial happiness is only the tem porary warding off o f blows.
It was expected th at V yasadeva would be satisfied. W hat is
excitin g to me about V yasadeva’s story is that although he
th inks he has com pleted his life’s work, he is actually only on
the verge o f it. H e is about to discover his real purpose. Krsna
can now be the center o f his life. H e doesn ’t have to pander to
anyone w ho d oesn ’t like krsna-katha. H e can speak straight, but
h e ’ll h ave his vision first.
W e live m ore in M udville

an d we th ink w e’ve found joy.
M em ories o f the tin soldier I played with—

arm broke off
but I’m satisfied
th at I did n ot give into lust in a dream
th at my gut d id n ’t burst
th at I h ave a master,
an d if only I can serve my guru till I die.
You know the sort o f thing I’m talking about.
It’s all right.
I d o n ’t even know w h at’s right or wrong at heart. I sim ply
m ove along
satisfied to be free o f pain
for the tim e being,
rem em bering the past
w hen I did w hat I could
alth ough I felt no deep love
an d n ever knew any. I ca n ’t exp ect it. I’m n ot atten tive
enough , d evoted enough in prayer
in ch an tin g the Lord’s holy nam es.
But satisfied to be here. You know w hat I m ean.
S atisfa ctio n takes discipline and acceptan ce. Prabhupada

said we should accep t w hatever prasadam we receive, and we
accep t our lodgings. W e d on ’t need more.
But th at has to be true. We c a n ’t ju st say it and not m ean it
or else the unconscious will dem and more. Satisfactio n com es
from the spiritual plane, not from m aterial satiation . I think
th a t’s obvious.
N ow a chorus, a solo, by one who lives his best

in saying I surrender to you.
H e m ean s it. H e w akes an d writes stories—
never satisfied with reality (w hatever th at is).
It was satisfaction th at brought back the cat.
But so it ends, life never com pleted.
(Play the sad p ian o.)
Texts 2 8-29
dhrtci'Vratena hi maya
chanddrhsi guravo ’gnayah
manita nirvyalikena
grhitam canusasanam
bharata-vyapadesena
hy amndyarthas ca pradarsitah
drsyate yatra dharmadi
stri'sudradibhir apy uta
I have, under strict disciplinary vows, unpretentiously wor

shiped the Vedas, the spiritual master and the altar of sacri
fice. I have also abided by the rulings and have shown the
import of disciplic succession through the explanation of the
Mahabharata, by which even women, sudras and others
[friends of the twice-born] can see the path of religion.
Comment
V yasadeva is exam in in g him self to find the cause o f his dis
satisfaction . O n takin g inventory, he finds th at he has been
w ell-behaved. It’s n ot th at he has done som eth in g sinful w hich
w ould cause him to feel dissatisfied. H is co nscience is not
pricked by thorns. H e has follow ed his vows strictly and w or
shiped the Vedas w ithout pretense. If he had been m erely a
show bottle follower, his self-scrutiny would h ave exposed that.
N o , he is an h on est spiritualist. Furtherm ore, he has been c o n
cern ed for oth er’s welfare. C on sid erin g these points, Vyasa
rem ains bew ildered about his m ental disturbance. H e can n ot
find the clue.
We too m ay som etim es search w ithin ourselves and still re
m ain uncertain. W e w onder why we can n ot enter the m agical
circle o f love for K rsna despite our desire to do so. Even when
we strictly follow the rules and regulations, our state o f m ind

does n ot becom e w holly purified. W hy not?
V yasadeva com m itted no wrongs, and therefore his self-
scrutiny did n ot include searching his faults. We have a different
experience w ith self-scrutiny. Still, although we whip ourselves
for our wrongs and feel genuine remorse, we can n ot always feel
the certainty o f K rsna’s shelter or the assurance that we have
attain ed m ore love for G od . Som etim es we h av en ’t. T h e only
way to discover the root cause o f our shortcom ings is to approach
guru an d K rsna. W e do not always have the power to discern the
root cause ourselves.
“W hat’s wrong with me?” T h e sag e ’s hum an cry. H e is co n sci
entious. Even though he is an in carn ation o f G o d , he holds
h im self accoun table. S till, he shows us th at self-scrutiny isn’t
always enough. A t least w hile we exam in e the co n scien ce, we
h ave to con tin u e to take shelter o f K rsna. It is K rsna who
reveals the self. A n d w hile we are w aiting for H is mercy, we
should con tin u e to clean se the heart by ch an tin g the holy
nam es: H are K rsna H are K rsna, K rsna K rsna H are H are/ H are
R am a H are R am a, R am a R am a H are H are.
A n o th e r p oin t to n ote is th at w hen our good works appar
ently fail, we should n ot aban don duty. D evotion al service is
based on duty in the early stages. If we d o n ’t feel like rising early
in the m orn in g or doing our service because we feel dissatisfied
at heart, we should rise early and do our service anyway. D is
satisfaction im plies a lack o f spon tan eous desire to serve.
T herefore, the guru assigns sadhana to keep us m oving forward.
A t the neophyte stage, a lack o f spon tan eous love for K rsna is
exp ected . O ur first duty is to ch an t the holy nam e. Lord C a i
tanya considered it the yuga'dharm a, and H e supported H is
claim by citin g scriptural references from the Brhad'dranyaka
Upanisad and oth er sources.
For us, we can begin our self-scrutiny by studying the state of
our jap a. D o we faithfully ch an t all our rounds? D o we ch an t
w ith a tten tio n and w ithout offense? A n d w hat about our a tte n
tion to krsna'katha? D o we hear from sastra on a regular basis?
T h e re is no oth er way to prom ote love o f G o d . Prosecuting
these duties is like churning m ilk to produce butter or rubbing
w ood to produce fire. Love o f G o d is our inherent nature; by
“rubbing” our w ooden hearts w ith ch an tin g an d hearing, bhakti
will appear.
W e should never feel doubtful about this process no m atter
how long it takes. We can im agine som eone h earing about
V yasad eva’s dissatisfaction and disdaining the whole process.
“Your V yasadeva worked so hard to give people know ledge, but
h e ’s still n ot satisfied. I d o n ’t worry about h elping oth er people,
but at least I’m happy.” A m aterialist can n ot even touch the
depth o f V yasadeva’s realization, either o f his h appin ess or his
dissatisfaction . People who care n othin g for others may seem
satisfied w ith their selfish activities, but everything is tested by
tim e. A lth o u g h V yasadeva’s welfare activities were n ot suffi
cien t in th em selves to satisfy him , we would never criticize
them . H e is about to discover the greatest secret and his life’s
purpose, both o f w hich rise above all selfish concerns. R eal sa t
isfaction com es from an unfathom able depth w ithin the self.
Even a sage like V yasadeva was unable to know the depth and
nature o f satisfaction , w hat to speak o f a m aterialist w ho calls
tem porary relief from suffering happiness.
O n e last point: w hen we feel dissatisfied, we should n ot ask
K rsna to protect us from th at feeling. Rather, we should ask
K rsna to protect us from the superficial satisfaction w hich often
distracts us from the deeper levels o f self. Please, Krsna, a l
though I w ant to be happy, d o n ’t allow my m ind and heart to
rest until they h ave taken full shelter o f You. Please let m e serve
You in som e way.
I w ant to tell you

last n igh t ju st before rest,
M adhu rem arked th at m aybe we would see the black bears,
“ the big guys”
before we leave Saran agati.
B ecause yesterday it was warm. W h en I put the board against
my door last nigh t I thought o f them , how they m ight be
stretch in g and yaw ning and ready to forage. I lay in bed and
heard a bird singing. I d id n ’t know its nam e as a poet should,
and it d id n ’t have a very pretty song. O n ly three chords. I could
n ot decide w hether it was p leasan t to h ear a bird singing for the
first tim e this year or w hether it was an an noyan ce th at would
keep me awake. But I soon fell asleep.
During the night I dream t o f preparing for a religious proces
sion. W e were to proceed from one hall to another and to the
riverside, although the route w asn’t clearly defined. I was a lead
ing m anager in the procession. N o t a tasty dream , but som ething
th at occupied me. T h e n I woke and again thought o f the bears.
But it was cold in my room , so I got up to start the fire, then
cam e to the desk and read about M adh avendra Puri and his
verse ayi dina-dayadhra— the first m en tion o f co n jugal love in
the M adh va sampradaya. T h e n Prabhupada discussed S rim ati
R ad h aran i’s m ood in his purport. N o one can say he d oesn ’t
m en tion it in his books. Rather, he says th at it is central to
K rsna consciousness. I d id n ’t feel m uch as I read it, but I noted
it. Yes, yes, I lack the dissatisfaction to m ove forward.
I d o n ’t seem to feel the separation from K rsna w hich would
im pel me to cry out, “ W hy h ave You n eglected m e? I am poor
in spirit, Lord. Please com e to me. Please be m erciful.” W hy?
H ow can I even discuss the topic if I d o n ’t feel genuine e m o
tion ? It seem s in the past I was attracted to C h ristian saints
because, alth ough they d id n ’t reach co n ju gal stature, they
expressed their spiritual poverty and were able to call out to
G o d from th at realization.
I d o n ’t follow them — I am more th an satisfied w ith Prabhu

p ad a’s superexcellen t teach ings— but I w ant to get beyond duty
to a real h eart’s cry. Som etim es I sing an d dance my capers to
find th at cry.
U d d h a v a w itnessed Srlm ati R ad h aran l’s expression o f feeling
n eglected by K rsna w hen he visited V rn davan a. M adh aven dra
Puri expressed the sam e m ood in his fam ous verse. B ack to
V yasa’s dissatisfaction .
T o see the cause requires guru. N o t just th at the guru tells you
w h at’s w rong, but you h ave to subm it to his analysis. T h e guru
diagn oses our burden, our sense o f ob ligation th at is not quite
spiritual, or our distraction. We ourselves can find so m any
superficial causes— the faxes are rolling in, w e’re afraid o f e x p o
sure in this way or that, our thw arted attem pts at privacy, p e o
ple scrutinizing our service and finding fault. We have plenty of
reasons to be dissatisfied, but w hat is at the root?
T h e real thing, he said, is to love G o d . A n d you can do that
by hearin g from lovers o f G o d ,
on the scien ce o f G o d and
n ot dw elling in the lower stages o f religion.
It ju st w on ’t satisfy the heart.
T h e re are already so m any sad jokes in this world. W e offend
d evotees an d try to revive and p atch up our old bodies— sad
jo k es for th ose lookin g for the source o f bliss. N o t even service
to h um an ity can bring ultim ate h appin ess. S erv ice to others
first h as to be service to K rsna. T h a t begins with h earin g from
W ialai-enriched sources, such as Prabh upada’s books. T h a t’s our
cue— Prabh upada tells us again and again — the way to the h id
den treasure.
A n d pray. We h ave to pray our rounds, pray our hearts. T h e
only way to get beyond superfice is to stop being superficial, to
m ake our h earts vulnerable at K rsna’s lotus feet, to accept our
real place. V yasadeva is about to do it. If he had refused the
greater service he was m ean t to render— n ot only to others but
to h im self— where w ould th at h ave left him ? O N arad a, please

com e and teach m e too. I’m a fallen devotee, a servan t o f my
Prabhupada, but please d o n ’t n eglect m e. G iv e m e the water
from Lord B rah m a’s w ater pot. R ev iv e my dead spirit. I am not
a dem on, ju st a petty clerk trying to serve the V aisnavas.
Pen , flow faster. M ich a elm a s, beers w ith n am es like

G u tten au g h t— special ales. N o satisfaction at the outdoor cafes
in A th e n s on liberty nights. H ell no.
A h me,
now you’re free
o f p ain and scorn although som e m ay scorn me.
W ould you be satisfied if devotees were in pow er in the g ov
ernm en t an d I was the poet laureate reading to the crowd?
Naw.
I’m n ot even satisfied with our efforts to revive com m unity,
hold reunions, encourage sadhu'sanga, hold festivals. Put m e in
a crow d an d I w ant to be alone.
Ayi nanda'tanuja kinkaram. Ayi dina-dayadhra—
M adhavendra Purl’s dissatisfaction: “O Krsna, why aren’t You
appearing before me? I love You, but You neglect me. I know I’m
unworthy, but please be merciful and give me a little association.”
S ta ck s o f letters under the desk. I’ll h ave to take them out

sooner or later and get into it.
N o t lookin g for thrills. I say I’m satisfied.
D oes that m ean I’m afraid to take chances?
Should I be braver?
I know I w on ’t be satisfied until I find out,
until I’m truly situated in K rsna consciousness.
T h e y say we may be gopi-manjaris. I d o n ’t
know, but w e’re in som e rasa, svarupa-siddhi
it’s called. T h a t is the real source o f satisfac
tion. T h e bhakti-lata grows and d oesn ’t stop
until it reaches G o lo k a. D o n ’t be satisfied
with anyth in g less.
L ogs bu rn in g. W ater h eatin g on stove. S atisfie d my blood is

flow ing. Pulse an d pressure okay. T olerable. D o n ’t com plain .
Be calm .
I am calm . Peaceful. I tell m yself that.
I saw in the newspaper that people are less interested in abus-
ing them selves with over-the-counter painkillers for arthritis.
T h e y ’re seeking alternatives— pain m anagem ent, exercise ther
apy, etc. G o o d for them . I understand their plight. Everyone
w ants to feel all right for at least som e part o f the day. Beyond that
we need ruci. If you work w ithout taste, it produces dissatisfaction.
N ow we h ave to tolerate.
B ut n ot stay com fortably in our skin. T h a t’s superficial. M ore
grateful; n ot pulling out our hair or crying out like opera singers,
“W h a t’s wrrrong with m e?” M aybe we’re afraid o f the answer.
W e m igh t n ot like the m edicine either.
T h e n w hat hope? Sim ply to rem ain dissatisfied. We know it,
but w e’re pow erless, or we feel powerless, to do the needful.
W e’re such underachievers. W e prefer to speak affirm ations. A t
least it’s quiet.
V yasa is great. W e can see th at by his response to his own suf
fering. First he looked w ithin, th en heard from guru, then did
the needful. W e prefer to justify.
Logs rum ble an d shift in the stove.
I d o n ’t w ant to kill others, n ot even their spirits,
but I w ant my place in the sun.
D ear Lord, this isn’t even a prayer,
ju st self-expression. I leave it now,
incom plete
an d go to ch an t on beads. M ay the readers be satisfied in
their ow n lives. M ay I find w hat I d o n ’t yet possess.
Text 30
tathapi bata me daihyo
hy atm a caivatmana. vibhuh
asam panna wabhati

brahma-varcasya sattamah
I am feeling incomplete, though I myself am fully equipped

with everything required by the Vedas.
Comment
V yasadeva is restatin g the problem . Is he doubting the K rsna
con scious process? A m ature d evotee would never doubt sa-
dhana. R ather, he would look to h im self for faulty execu tio n o f
sadhana. H e know s th at m ishaps on the bhakti p ath are due to
“p ilo t error,” n ot the m alfunction in g o f the perfect aircraft.
S till, a neophyte m ay ask, “ If V yasadeva is equipped with
everyth ing required by the Vedas an d is still n ot happy, then it
seem s logical to con clude th at the V edic process can n o t m ake
us happy. W hy, then, do we advertise, ‘C h a n t H are K rsna and
your life will be sublim e’ ? A n d why should we shut out all other
attem p ts to ach ieve happiness?”
N ara d a M un i will soon answ er this doubt. E ven before know
ing the answer, how ever, sincere devotees are patien t. Sin cere
m ean s they do n ot d ou bt the process even if they question how
to execu te it perfectly. In his short purport to this verse, S rila
Prabh upada only h in ts th at som eth ing else is required beyond
studying the Vedas an d follow ing their regulations. By follow ing
prescribed duties we can becom e purified from m aterial identity,
“bu t the ultim ate ach ievem en t is different.” In oth er words,
even if we becom e free o f sin, we will still feel the shortcom ing.
E ven if we neutralize all our past karm a an d are tech n ically e li
gible for liberation, our hearts m ay feel empty. By V yasadeva’s
pressing the p oin t, he intensifies our ow n desire to w ant to
know why we are n ot happy. A pious an d determ ined studen t
w ill h an g on for the answer. O n ly a fool or a ch eater will bolt
from the classroom at this poin t an d run for m aterial happiness
instead. V yasadeva is relating an incident in his life w hen he
appeared to be confused. H e will cross the hurdle, and we can

too, by guru an d K rsn a’s grace.
Prabhupada w rites th at “ it” m ust be attained; otherw ise,
despite V edic learning, we will n ot be in our norm al tran scen
den tal position . V yasadeva appears to h ave lost the clue. But
w hat is “ it” ?
Sp iritual life is m ore th an hard work. W e h ave to express and
experien ce d evotion . It is confidential. T herefore, there is a key
to un lock the mystery. U sually we are caution ed n ot to expect
som eth in g m agical or sudden, but to accept th at progress is gra
dual. A t the sam e tim e, K rsna is adhoksaja. W e can n o t approach
H im through hard work or even by ardent sadhana. N o t by any
th in g we ourselves can do. H e rem ains forever apart and distant,
yet near. H e runs so fast that no one can catch H im , yet H e can
be easily caugh t and conquered by devotion. T h a t is the p ara
dox o f spiritual life. A n d th a t’s why spiritual life can n ot be m ea
sured in m aterial terms. It’s not a m atter o f w orking for success.
T h ere is a secret ingredient th at each o f us m ust possess. O n e
w ho m ay appear m ost qualified in K rsna consciousn ess may
actually lack the heart. Jesus C h rist said th at those who are first
will be last, and those who are last will be first. W h at does that
m ean? A n d how is it th at even those who are expert som etim es
m isplace the key?
Yes, even a great soul can som etim es appear to have lost the
key. E ven if we understand V yasadeva’s bew ilderm ent as lila, we
still h ave to take it seriously as a real story told for our benefit.
O n e lesson we can draw from it is that no one should judge
devotees who are experien cin g a dilem m a. If we see a leader
tem porarily stym ied and m issing som eth in g th at seem s obvious
to others, we sh ouldn ’t conclude th at his devotional service is
bankrupt or th at he is bogus. Even V yasadeva reached an im
passe, “ although I am fully equipped with everything required by
the Vedas.”
W h at is incom pleteness? It’s w hen you eat your fill but real
ize you aren ’t happy. It’s w hen you have a body but n ot all your
lim bs. It m eans you walk out w ithout gettin g dressed. It m eans
you stan d before the D eities and feel nothing. It m eans you hear
others praised and realize you d id n ’t do all you could. It’s that
drop in spirits. You c a n ’t put your finger on it, but you feel in
com plete. Perhaps you tried to squeeze sense gratification out o f
your service and now you h ave received your reward. T h e real
reward has escaped you. It’s em ptiness.
S p rin g snow — soft, fluffy puffs. L ast week in M arch. Early

this m orn in g before the sun was up I heard the robins. It felt like
spring. N ow the snow. It w on’t last long.
T h e shepherd loses one lam b from his flock and feels anxiety
until he finds it. You know the parable, but this is a real life’s
story. T h e great author w asn’t pleased in him self.
A ju ven ile delin quen t in the class says h e ’s tired o f h earing

abo u t Vyasa.
Okay, th en w hat do you w ant to do?
H e d oesn ’t know, doesn ’t know.
L e t’s look out at the curtain o f snow falling and appreciate it
som ehow. It’s w hite death and spells trouble for truckers who
skid on the ice h idden underneath, although the kids are happy
to get their last fling in with the snow— m aybe even a day off
from school.
I’m sleepy and incom plete.
I ate three pan cakes for breakfast. M . was fifteen m inutes late
with breakfast and then brought in only one pan cake. H e said
they took longer to cook th an he thought and he w asn’t going
to m ake anym ore. T h e n he ran back and forth (500 feet each
way) an d brought me two more warm, fluffy pan cakes with b u t
ter an d m aple syrup.
W as I satisfied?
N o t w ith one, but w ith three, yes.

A h -h a . S atisfie d w ith p an cak es an d you m issed the e ssen
tial truth. You were bough t out, like th e In d ian s sellin g
M a n h a tta n for tw enty-four bucks. You could h ave h eld out
an d b eco m e a devotee.
Tender.
V yasa is an old m an, m uscled
but
life is sad an d lonely and even slow som etim es. W e listen
w hile he scratch es his pen
an d the log in the fire
m oves like a
restless sleeper.
Vyasa,
I turn to you
to the problem you posed. I know n oth in g else but
the paper clip on the rug
w alks on snowy afternoons
the m usic o f the heart,
my ben t knee.
C e lib ate com pletely, he said— an d m ust be secluded, he said.

You c a n ’t be a yogi in an assembly. G o alone, be alone—
I loved to hear it—
a t Hardwar, Prayag,
sev en hundred years old but still like boys
to V rn d avan a . . .
T h e se adm ission s are painful, and I h ave to pose and unpose

to m ake them . I say first, “Look, even V yasa stum bled, right? I
know you e x p e ct m e to be always thinking o f Krsna, but even
V yasadeva d id n ’t h ave the clue. W h at th en can you possibly be
exp ectin g from m e?” I am w hat I am , raised on ham and eggs,
h ot dogs an d C o k e . W h at the h ell do you expect? I’m ju st try
ing to stay an ch ored to the verse
an d praying to com e back to
K rsna consciousness.
Text 31
kim va bhagavata dharma

na prayena n irupitah
priyah paramaharhsandrh
ta eva hy acyuta'priyah
T his may be because I did not specifically point out the devo
tional service of the Lord, which is dear both to perfect beings
and to the infallible Lord.
Comment
V yasa expresses in his ow n words why he is n ot satisfied. It is
a lack o f specific devotion al service to Lord Krsna. T h e tran sla
tion states th at this may be the problem . H e is aware o f the
defect, but perh aps n ot certain. T h is thought occurs to Vyasa-
d eva im m ediately before N arad a appears. N ara d a will com plete
the diagn osis an d prescribe the treatm ent, but he already hit
upon the m ain defect in him self.
S rila Prabh upada m entions th at devotional service is the
norm al co n d itio n o f the living being. T h is is sim ilar to physical
h ealth in w hich norm al life con stitutes h ealth , and disease is an
abnorm ality. D evo tion al service is n ot an extraordinary state
o f psyche an d heart, im plying th at few m ay attain it. It is the
co n stitu tio n al position o f every living entity. W e are m ean t to

be h appy in co n n ection with K rsna by perform ing voluntary
d evotio n al service. W hen we step away from th at state, we are
crazy and troubled. If only one or two souls out o f m illions
rem em ber this, it m eans th at the rest are diseased.
Prabhupada expresses this as the central teach in g o f K rsna
con sciousn ess. O n e tim e I wrote to Srila Prabhupada to ask if
there were any special articles I should write or solicit for Back
to Godhead m agazine. Prabhupada replied, “T h ere is n othin g
‘sp ecial.’ K rsna is the Suprem e Person and we are all H is ser
van ts. T h is philosophy we h ave to present in different ways.
O n e can n o t be happy w ithout this understanding o f his co n sti
tu tion al p o sition .”
A n o th e r m etaphor used to describe the natural state o f K rsna
con sciousn ess is how branches are all attach ed to a living tree.
T h e attach ed branches, twigs, and leaves receive nourishm ent
as the tree is w atered and finds sunlight. If a branch becom es
detach ed , th en it will n ot thrive; it is doom ed to die. Sim ilarly,
no one can live detach ed from the life-sustaining devotional
service to the Suprem e. Even if in m adness we th ink we have no
co n n ection w ith G o d , we are still depen den t on H im for every
thing. It is the delusion o f our separateness, however, that causes
sickness and misery. T h e h an d has to serve the body. It can n ot
eat an d digest food on its own. T h e h an d is happy only in its
serving capacity. If a h an d can n ot respond to the brain ’s m essage
to bring the food to the m outh, th en we consider the h an d par
alyzed, useless. T h ese exam ples show the harm onious relation
ship o f the part to the w hole.
A s we may suffer from a disease w ithout realizing it, so we
m ay suffer from our lack o f con scious co n n ection with K rsna
and n ot know how to diagnose it. A diseased person may know
th at som eth in g is wrong, but he usually d oesn ’t know what. He
h as to go for m edical testing. In m aterial life, often the disease
is n ot d etected im m ediately. S till, the p atien t feels weak or ill.
Finally the disease m anifests. T h e expert doctor will find the

root and destroy it. Sim ilarly, the spiritual m aster will find the
disease an d uproot it before it d evelops into intense suffering
and death.
V yasadeva’s deficiency is actually the deficiency o f all living
beings. It is extraordinary in th at it h appen ed to such a great
sage, but in on e way or another, all unh appiness is caused by a
lack o f K rsna consciousness. A learned person understands this.
A s Bg. 6.32 states, “ H e is a perfect yogi who, by com parison to
his ow n self, sees the true equality o f all beings, in both their
h appin ess an d their distress, O A rju n a.” In his purport to this
verse Prabhupada writes, “O n e who is K rsna con scious is a per
fect yogi; he is aware o f everyon e’s h appin ess and distress by din t
o f his ow n person al experien ce. T h e cause o f the distress o f a
livin g entity is forgetfulness o f his relation sh ip with G o d . A n d
the cause o f h appin ess is know ing K rsna . . . ”
We may wonder, however, how a person can ascertain his
norm al co n d itio n if all he can rem em ber is his diseased condi-
tion. E ven w hile in a d efective state, we m ay get access to
h igher know ledge. E ven to understand th at it is the living
en tity’s nature to be happy (dnandn-mayo ’bhyasat) is a begin
ning. T h e n if we can becom e attach ed to a self-realized soul and
follow his instructions, we can gradually regain a norm al state.
V yasadeva set the exam ple th at we should both scrutinize our
hearts and inquire from the spiritual master. It is n ot possible for
us to becom e free on our ow n power. Every con dition ed soul
needs the guru’s grace.
V yasadeva states th at devotion al service is dear to perfect
beings an d also to the infallible Lord. T h e self-interest o f the
individual soul is n ot separate from K rsn a’s interest. A lth o u gh
K rsna is atmdrdma, H e is n ot fully happy unless all the living
en tities return to their norm al state. S rila Prabhupada writes in
the purport: “U n less one is fixed in the norm al con dition of
service, n eith er the Lord nor the living bein g can becom e fully
satisfied .” A n agn ostic m ay try to use this as an argum ent

again st G o d , saying th at G o d should n ot be depen den t on a liv
ing bein g for H is ow n h appiness, but we are thrilled to hear that
the Suprem e Lord, although independent, sim ultaneously and
in con ceivably feels som ething m issing because som e o f H is parts
an d parcels are suffering in the m aterial world. I find this inspir
ing. It also rem inds me th at my anarthas are n ot pleasing to
K rsna because they keep m e from approach in g H im . I th en w ant
to im prove for H is pleasure. T h a t is K rsna’s m agnanim ity.
T h a t K rsna depends on the jivas' love and d evotio n im plies
th at d evotio n al service is greater th an K rsna. U n less d evotio n is
flourishing, even the Suprem e Lord is n ot satisfied. O f course,
bhakti is K rsn a’s internal energy. Bhakti is love o f G o d , and K rsna
bestow s it on H is parts and parcels.
T h e high est representation o f d evotional service is found in
S rlm ati R adh aran i, K rsna’s dearm ost devotee. It is actually S h e
w ho bestow s love o f G o d on the living beings, and S h e who
especially w ants to see them return to their norm al loving rela
tion sh ip w ith Krsna. T h e spiritual m aster is S rim ati R ad h aran l’s
representative. H e teach es th at bhakti is greater th an Krsna, or
m ore accurately, th at bhakti is the high est m anifestation o f
K rsna an d K rsna consciousness. G o d rules in all realm s, but o f
H is ow n free will H e becom es subm issive to bhakti and to H is
bhaktas. T h a t is H is greatest glory, th at H e becom e subm issive to
the love o f H is devotees.
T herefore, devotion al service is dear to the Lord and to the
paramaharhsas or perfect beings. Successful d evotional service is
n ot only enjoyed by K rsna as the recipient o f all sacrifices, but
by K rsn a’s great devotees, including our spiritual m aster. U n less
we please our spiritual master, K rsna will n ot be pleased. O ur
satisfaction stem s from their satisfaction (yenatma suprasidati).
Prabhupada ends his purport, “T h is defect was felt by him
w hen N ara d a M uni, his spiritual master, reached him . It is
described as follow s.” It appears ju st as V yasa got this peak
insight, his guru arrived. T h e spiritual m aster’s presence in our

lives will en ligh ten us. E ven if he is n ot physically present, if we
becom e con scious o f him and enter h is presence in our hearts,
th en our question s and doubts will be resolved. It is poin tless to
ask, “ D id I figure this out for m yself or did my guru do it for m e?”
We truly h elp ourselves only by enterin g the guru’s presence and
his good graces an d receiving the wisdom he has given us.
W hat does all this m ean practically? If we know that serving
and glorifying Krsna is the central point o f our lives, should we
im m ediately run to V rndavana to establish a full-time residence
there? Should we give up our jobs? Should we not do other service
in the m ission and instead study the Bhagavatam day and night?
H earin g an d ch an tin g is certainly the best part o f devotional
practice, but it m ay n ot be possible or even best for us to give up
our oth er services. T herefore, we should rem ain focused on the
point: we m ust hear about and glorify K rsna (sravanam ktr-
tanam ), an d in th at way we will rem em ber H im (sm aranam ).
T h ere is n o oth er way. H ear o f Vyasa, Suka, N arad a, and Prah-
lada. R ead Prabh upada’s purports. S tay with it always, holdin g it
in your heart. Bhagavata-katha can accom pan y us everywhere—
into the bathroom , out on the road, into the innerm ost recesses
o f the m ind. Som eh ow or other, stay focused, and do w hatever
facilitates th at focus.
It’s n ot easy because we are m aterially con tam in ated. O ur
dream s are filled w ith oth er im ages, and even w hen we aw ake in
the m orning, we are confused. Instead o f V yasa we think o f
H enry or S ally or Fergus, and the thoughts from yesterday’s
search in to the em pty pool o f con sciousn ess bubble up again
today. W e h av e to rem ind ou rselv es w here we left off:
V yasadeva’s saying, “T h is m ay be because I did n ot specifically
poin t ou t the devotio n al service o f the Lord, w hich is dear both
to perfect beings an d to the infallible L ord .” A n d th en this: “ Let
it becom e d ear to m e.”
By recitin g V yasa’s nam e, although I d on ’t know him , I feel
I’m gradually begin n in g to know him . Vyasa, V yasadeva. I begin
to love him . H e is a historical person and a contem porary, and

1 picture him in my m in d’s eye with his beard and topknot, a
sage w ith lotus feet.
1 force my m ind as I force my feet to walk in the direction of
the tem ple. V yasa sat in m editation on the banks o f the
S arasv atl an d felt dissatisfied. H e thought over all the work he
h ad don e an d found no fault in it. Yet he felt incom plete. T h e n
o n co n siderin g further, he hit upon the problem just as his spir
itual m aster was arriving at his asram a.
D on ’t waste your own opportunities for self-exam ination and
inquiry when you feel that wave o f dissatisfaction. D on’t waste
time by shrugging off what could becom e the greatest discovery o f
your life. D on ’t busy yourself with mindless tasks to avoid discom
fort, as in, “I’ll merge my dissatisfaction into busy work and it will
go away.” D on ’t be averse to the challenge o f facing yourself in a
deeper way, even though it’s strenuous. Learn to turn to Krsna.
O kay, C lan cy, this show is alm ost over. W h at’s left? O h , I
w ant to tell you w hat I saw last night.
W ell, I looked out the bathroom window just before I went to
sleep and I fantasized that a huge num ber o f black bears were
com ing down the twisting hill road. It was a m igration o f bears
com ing out at the end o f winter. T h en , while looking at the space
where I im agined this would happen, I saw a large white rabbit. I
had never seen such a thing at Saranagati, and I m ade a m ental
note to tell Jaya G auracandra about it. H e hopped around for
awhile, w hite as snow, with that lam e lim ping kind o f hop they
have. He seem ed to have no real power to escape his enem ies and
I w ondered where he lived. A m on g the pines somewhere?
T h ere you h ave it. How does that remind us o f Vyasa? Is that
rabbit a M arici disguised to bew ilder us? M aybe it’s K rsn a’s m es
senger. T h e w hite rabbit o f hope. T h e oddness you seek, the
vision s, G o d com e as a w hite rabbit, as w hat we w ant m ost,
com e to relieve the fantasy o f m arching savage bears.
H enry let h im self into the cabin. H e burn t the new spaper
an d the kindling, th en the larger w ood until the room was
warm. H e looked around and paid atten tion to Vyasa. H e felt
good. T h e n he began to write. H e th ought o f th at oth er Henry,
T h o reau , skatin g in the darkness over a hundred and fifty years
ago. H e said he built a fire on such-and-such p on d using k in
dlin g at first an d th en logs, and the w ood began to crack like
rifles. A s he sailed hom e in the darkness on his skates he
sm elled the w ood fire on his person and was thrilled by it.
T h o reau was a sensual person, and he saw N atu re as G o d . He
often used the word “G o d ” an d referred to H im with a capital
“H ”, yet he d id n ’t h ave a personal sense o f G o d . H e was averse
to the church or a too biblical-G odn ess. A t least he sought the
essence and spirit in m atter rather th an trying to enjoy it, and
he d id n ’t like to be with people who occu
pied th em selves with ordinary business.
Friends, I got up early this m orning and
w rote m em os. I felt the thrill o f engaging
others in my th oughts and an ticip atin g
their exch an ges with me. I h ave an up
com in g m eeting with a friend. A n d I’ll
answ er the m ail.
Ja c k L o n d on survivor stories, w riter’s an ecdotes, im provisers,

poets— lead the sim ple life, tim e m easured by w ater dripping in
a big plastic barrel here. Precious life-water, I use it freely to
pour over my h ead— h ot from the pot on the stove, then cold
from the bucket. Prabhupada talking o f w onderful Krsna. T h e
cow herd m en say th at maybe H e ’s a dem igod, or maybe H e ’s the
Suprem e Personality o f G o d h ead . Prabhupada sounds like one
o f those elderly cow herd m en, and I picture him with a m us
tach e an d turban— one o f N a n d a ’s neighbors. T h e n Prabhupada
exp lain s w hat G argam u n i said, “Yes, H e is wonderful. H e is as
good as N aray an a.” H e killed Putana even before H e could see
properly; H e was only three m onths old. A n d H e kicked the cart

over and defeated T rn avarta— the w hole list o f dem ons is m en
tioned even though N an d a and the oth er m en were not eyew it
nesses an d often discoun ted the oth er ch ildren ’s versions. N ow
N a n d a recounts the stories as facts— the killing o f Bakasura,
D henukasura, A gh asura, Pralam bhasura, the pulling dow n of
the tw in A rju n a trees. Yes, Krsna is wonderful. A lth o u gh H e
seem s to be a boy, H e is, according to G argam uni, and from
w hat we also have seen, as good as N arayan a. G argam u n i also
said th at anyone who becom es devoted to this boy will be saved
from all danger. W onderful K rsna. E ven though I d o n ’t hear so
well, w hen I later repeat it, it pours out like liquid gold, en rich
ing my life. T h a n k G o d I heard Krsna book and thank G o d we
recorded it. T h a n k G o d it has the power to ch ange my ordinary
self into a d evotee o f Krsna
O utside: a young Polish brahmacari singing rock kirtana with

a kind o f hip-hip-hooray Polish p easan t shout and stom p.
A ll these days
running out.
M . was out late last night at Ja m b a v a n ’s. T h ey h ad kirtana for
two hours, th en a table spread w ith pastries an d oth er eatables.
H e w alked back at 10 through the ch aste fo .est pines, talking
w ith a friend. I’ll see him at 5 A .M . and ask him how it went. I
co u ld n ’t sleep well, took a pill, then got up and celebrated.
W e d o n ’t h ave to sell ourselves short. W e love Prabhupada
and follow him , hear his words, talk it out.
Faxes are still a curse and a blessing here. We like to reach
out, but d o n ’t always appreciate w hat com es back. M essages to
atten d two m eetings. “W e’ve got your num ber now.” D am n.
Vyasa, the San sk rit is beautiful— words like janm ady asya
yatah, acyuta, adhoksaja, syamasundara, priya, gopi, rasa, candra,
and the d escription s o f the autum n season. “O K rsna,” the gopis
ask, “w hat kind o f friend are You?” O yellow-dressed, garlanded
youth o f our hearts. V yasa wrote it all.
V yasadeva, an old m an still at Badarikasram a hiding in spirit

form in a cave. T h e Indian soldiers c a n ’t see him , nor the
tourists or ordinary Indians. Buddhists nearby d o n ’t even know
he exists because they reject his Vedas. W e follow Vyasa, and try
to see him by assim ilatin g his words.
Text 32
tasyaivarh khilam atmanarh

m anyam anasya khidyatah
krsnasya narado ’bhyagad
asram am prag udahrtam
A s mentioned before, Narada reached the cottage of Krsna-

dvaipayana Vyasa on the banks of the Sarasvati just as
Vyasadeva was regretting his defects.
Comment
S rila Prabhupada states th at the void V yasadeva felt was not
due to lack o f know ledge. Prabh upada’s statem en t, “ Bhagavata-
dharma is purely devotion al service o f the Lord to w hich the
m on ist h as n o access,” alm ost h in ts th at V yasadeva was in a
p osition sim ilar to an im personalist. O f course, V yasadeva was
never an im personalist, but the fact th at he did not fully co n
cen trate on glorifying K rsna but stressed religiosity and jnana
in dicates th at his books so far were less th an bhagavatd'dharma.
It stan ds to reason th at if a work does n ot present pure bhaga~
vata'dharm a, it m ust co n tain to som e degree karm a and jhana.
A lth o u gh im personalism is a heavy charge, we may lean
toward im personalism n ot only by teach in g S an k ara ’s sp ecu la
tions, but sim ply by n ot openly acknow ledging K rsna’s tran
scen d en tal form and pastim es. A n yon e who claim s to speak
V edic know ledge but d oesn ’t refer to K rsna the person is o m it
ting som eth in g vital from his talks. We see with scholars w ho
rem ain neutral and w ho com m en t on the Bhagavad-gita w ithout

teach in g surrender to the Personality o f G o d h ead th at Krsna
regards them as fools. Srila Prabhupada refers to V yasadeva’s
regret as “ inspiration . . . infused by S ri K rsna directly in the
h eart.” Inspiration, or K rsna’s d ictatio n through the heart,
doesn ’t always com e as a discovery o f som eth ing wonderful; we
m ay also see our defects. We heard in the previous verse V yasa’s
diagn osis o f his ow n fault. N ow S rila Prabhupada informs us
th at this insight was inspired by Krsna.
Inspiration appears m iraculous. Suddenly our strength to u n
derstan d or to do som eth ing exceeds our usual capacities. Vyasa
was bew ildered but suddenly understood w hat he could not
grasp w hile recording the Vedas. A n d w hat an inspiration! To
understand th at w ithout describing the tran scenden tal loving
service o f the Lord, everything is void.
It is interesting that Vyasa is described by the word krsimsya
in this verse, w hich refers to H is full nam e, K rsna-dvaipayana
Vyasa. H e is so intim ately related w ith K rsna th at his nam e
includes H is holy nam e. A n d it is fitting th at in the verse where
he regrets his lack o f exp licit Krsna consciousness in his w rit
ings, he is addressed by his full nam e. We can understand from
th at th at anyone w ho rem em bers K rsna’s holy nam e will im m e
diately rem em ber Krsna in all H is features and receive the in
spiration th at will carry him beyond logic or reason.
A n o th e r p o in t to n ote in th is verse an d purport is
V yasad eva’s expression o f regret. W ithout experiencin g regret
we can n o t experien ce reform. Reform m eans m ore th an sim ply
givin g up a bad h abit for a better one; it im plies a changed heart.
T h ere are m any exam ples throughout the scriptures o f the
purifying effects o f regret. M ah araja Pariksit also regretted n e
glectin g to h on or Sam ik a R si. Prabhupada writes, “R epen tan ce
com es in the m ind o f a good soul as soon as he com m its so m e
th in g w rong.” (Bhdg. 1.18.31, purport) A n d again, “ . . . by the
grace o f the Lord all sins unw illingly com m itted by a devotee are
burn t in the fire o f repen tan ce.” (Bhdg. 1.19.1, purport)
A pure devotee regrets any m om ent in w hich he is n ot th in k

ing o f K rsna or engagin g in H is service. T h e exchange betw een
V idura and U d d h a v a exem plifies this point:
O n the inquiry by Vidura about Krsna, U ddhava appeared to be

awakened from slumber. He appeared to regret that he had for
gotten the lotus feet of the Lord. Thus he again remembered the
lotus feet of the Lord and remembered all his transcendental
loving service unto Him, and by so doing he felt the same
ecstasy that he used to feel in the presence of the Lord.
— Bhdg. 3.2.4, purport
R egret induces a heightened state o f spiritual rem em brance,

and rem em brance takes us into K rsna’s presence. V yasadeva e n
tered an inspired state w hen K rsna allow ed him to feel his
em ptiness. H is regret th at his previous works were n ot tangibly
K rsna con scious im pelled him into the tran scenden tal service o f
the Lord where “everything is tangible w ithout any separate
attem p t at fruitive work or em piric p h ilosoph ical specu lation .”
It w ould be nice to think th at w hen we are spaced out or
empty, it is K rsn a’s way o f trying to aw aken our rem em brance o f
H im . O f course, to say th at and for it to be true, we h ave to
respond to K rsn a’s prodding. Sim ply to be drugged by the m ode
o f ignorance is n ot a blessing. But if som ehow we are stung into
aw areness o f our forgetfulness, our em pty hearts, th at is a bless
ing. A ll blessings com e directly from K rsna and H is devotees.
K rsna is in our hearts and H e awards our desires. If we repeat
edly indicate th at we w ant to forget H im , H e will put us into a
state o f forgetfulness. If while in the forgetful state we suddenly
feel the em ptin ess o f a life w ithout K rsna, th at becom es the
blessing, and it is H is causeless mercy.
It is healthy to see all the little even ts in our lives as personal
interaction s w ith Krsna. T h is is not som eth ing im agined or
exaggerated, but it is real. If we can n o t recognize K rsn a’s hand
in w hat we experien ce, then we are n ot m uch different from
ath eists or voidists. T h e universe is n ot m echan ical, random , or

void. K rsna is behind everything. By H is mercy, and by the
m ercy o f H is d evotees, we m ay start to see th at H e is the sound
in eth er and the ability in m an.
A n d then we can go deeper. T h ere is m ore. But we ca n ’t dis
cover it by analysis or psychology. It’s n ot lodged away under all
th at ch ild h ood traum a. It’s som eth in g more vital th an that, and
som eth in g untouchable. G o d is n ot appearing before us or in v it
ing us w ith open arm s into H is presence. W hy? W e should w ant
to know. A n d how is H e draw ing me toward H im ? Perhaps I
h ave avoid ed H is in vitation s and H is offer o f purification.
W here are my feelings in this m atter?
K rsna is n ever lazy or neglectful w hen it com es to freeing us
from our self-absorption. H e inspires us from w ithin but always
allow s us to respond as we like. O ften we respond with fear or
ignorance. O K rsna, please give me the strength to be open to
the em ptin ess You reveal in my heart. It’s n ot enough to be co n
ten t with the m aterial and spiritual blessings th at I already e n
joy. I w ant You to fill the vacuum . A s Lord C aitan y a said, “ I feel
the w hole world v acan t in Your absen ce.” Please let me feel that.
I know I can only begin to sense it w hen I em pty the selfishness
ou t o f my h eart and open m yself to Your lovin g nature. Please
save me.
Feel som eth ing; com e alive. D o n ’t ju st study as if it were a dry

exercise. R egret, rem orse— take K rsna’s inspiration. N ow I’ve
said my piece, I chew at my fingernails until they bleed. T h is
body, this m ind— w hat am I going to do about them ? Som eon e
gave me a sw eater m ade in Peru. It did n ’t m ake me com plete.
Breakfast was okay an d I d id n ’t overeat, and it’s quite chilly o u t
side today. T h e m ud ridges have frozen again and th ere’s ice on
the path . I cracked it as I walked. W alk back and forth— regret,
but w hat?
T h e w eeds here h ave a bleached blond look. W inter is a left-

over season. I’m here on borrow ed tim e now. H ave to leave
soon. T h e birds are h idin g today. M ust be too cold for them .
H are K rsna.
Inspiration com es from Krsna in the heart. We need only
respond as fully as possible. If more than anything else, we want
to avoid pain and sleeplessness and worry. If we d on ’t like any
w aves in our sea, then we may end up having to avoid Krsna.
K rsna consciousness just gets too em otional. We don ’t want to
feel the pin ch o f regret or to see th at everything we’ve done bor
ders on m eaninglessness. O r th at we have m ade a huge m istake.
W ho w ants to adm it to those things? It’s just too painful. If we are
stubborn about it, however, then Krsna w on’t inspire us, and even
if H e does, we w on’t accept H is inspiration as spiritual in origin.
W hen V yasa got the inspira

tion, and K rsna shot it into his
h eart, did it feel like a sudden pain?
W h at does em ptiness really feel
like? I d o n ’t always know. I have
spent so m uch tim e avoidin g it and
fillin g my tim e w ith activ ity —
putting logs on the fire, collectin g
w ood, lig h tin g m atch es, tak in g
strolls, bathing, shaving, anything
else. I do lay dow n som etim es with
a wet rag on my forehead and think
about w hat to do, an d K rsna usually gives m e som e ideas. H e is
the in telligen ce in m an, in me.
A ctu a l regret com es w hen you feel a tangible, living em o
tion. You becom e regretful in a sense because it consum es you.
T h e n K rsna is the center o f your life. T h e re ’s no room left over
for an yth in g else.
O bird o f prom ise

V yasa regretted
but I did not,
n ot yet.
W ill we hear?
Text 33
tarn abhijnaya sahasa

pratyuttayagatam munih
pujayam asa vidhivan
naradam sura'pujitam
A t the auspicious arrival of Sri Narada, Sri Vyasadeva got up

respectfully and worshiped him, giving him veneration equal
to that given to Brahmaji, the creator.
Comment
C h ap ter 4 ends with the arrival o f Sri N arada, the spiritual
m aster o f S rila V yasadeva. Seein g him approaching, V yasadeva
rose and offered him veneration equal to that given to Lord
Brahm a, the original Vedic teacher (brahma adi-kavaye). Lord
Brahm a is the first living being in the universe and the secondary
creator. H e was born directly from G arbhodaksayl V isnu’s body
and is the head o f our disciplic succession. N arad a is am ong the
first gen eration o f B rah m a’s disciples, but here he is given the
sam e respect as his guru. Srila Prabhupada adds, “Sim ilarly all
other successive disciples in the ch ain are also equally respected
as representatives o f the original spiritual m aster.”
V yasadeva rose to receive his guru. I im agine V yasadeva sit
tin g in the lotus asan a as N arad a descends from the sky, find in
hand. In a spon tan eous and reverent way, V yasadeva stood and
perhaps folded his h ands in pranam a. Perhaps he then m ade
danaavats at his feet. T h e disciple usually th en offers appropriate

prayers to receive the spiritual m aster an d offers him a sitting
place,'' a m eal, and any oth er com forts. T h ese points o f etiquette
should never be overlooked w hen the guru arrives. Beyond that,
however, V yasadeva honored his guru by m entally becom ing his
servant. H e m olded his entire life around N arad a M un i’s instruc
tions. T h e spiritual m aster should be the m aster o f the disciple’s
heart and the director o f all his activities. Yasya deve para bhak-
tir, yatha-deve tatha gurau: “O nly unto those great souls w ho h ave
im plicit faith in both the Lord and the spiritual m aster are all
the im ports o f V edic know ledge autom atically revealed.”
(clAa^
V isvan ath a C ak rav arti has said th at as a person can n o t l»ve

w ithout his life air (prana) circulatin g through his body, sim i
larly, a disciple can n o t live w ithout the “ life air” o f the spiritual
m aster’s order. D ed icatin g all activities o f body, m ind, and words
to carrying out the guru’s order is real h on or an d real worship. If
we fail to follow the order w holeheartedly, we are dead. T h e
guru’s order is the source o f life.
Lord Brah m a is respected as the father o f all vidhis (regula
tion s). H e heard the word “tapa" from the sky and took it as a
direct order from Krsna. H e therefore perform ed austerities for
thousands o f years. In this way, Lord Brahm a show ed his great
respect for K rsn a’s order.
Sim ilarly, N arad a w orshiped Lord Brahm a as if he were as

good as G o d . W h en N arad a approach ed Brahm a, he asked, “You
appear to be the m aster o f everything and h ave all the worlds
under your con trol like a person h olds a w alnut in his fist, but
som etim es I see you m editating. D o you h ave a higher au th or
ity?” Yes, K rsna, the original guru. Sim ilarly, we see the great
V yasadeva bein g worshipful toward his ow n spiritual master.
From the guru’s side, he should also respect his disciple as a
d epen den t. In a Caitanya-caritam rta purport S rila Prabhupada
w rites th at the spiritual m aster “ is n ot an enjoyer o f facilities
offered by his disciples. H e is like a parent. W ith out the a tte n
tive service o f his parents, a ch ild can n ot grow to m anhood;
sim ilarly, w ithout the care o f the spiritual m aster one can n ot
rise to the p lan e o f tran scen den tal service.” (Adi 1.46, purport)
In the sam e purport S rila Prabhupada adds, “O nly out o f H is
im m ense com passion does the Personality o f G o d h ead reveal
H im self as the spiritual master. T herefore, in the dealings o f an
acarya there are n o activities but those o f tran scen den tal loving
service to th e Lord. H e is the Suprem e Personality o f Servitor
G o d h ead . It is w orthw hile to take shelter o f such a steady d e v o
tee, who is called asraya-vigraha, or the m an ifestation or form o f
the Lord o f w hom one m ust take shelter.”
S o the ch apter ends w ith N ara d a ’s auspicious arrival, and so

I end the secon d volum e o f A Poor M an Reads the Bhagavatam.
N ow I gath er my resolve to write the third.
O N arad a M uni, you are arriving to give solace and inspiration
to the heart and m ind o f Vyasadeva. We shall follow your instruc
tions with keen atten tion and try to apply them to our lives.
T h e spiritual m aster is K rsna’s representative. H e sees h im self
as the hum ble servitor o f the Lord and the Lord’s devotees. T h e
disciple, how ever, sees him as always representing K rsna in this
world. A ll gurus in our line are honored by their disciples and
n ot con sidered relative or partial teachers. A t the sam e tim e, we
freely glorify the special stature o f great spiritual m asters such as

Srila Jiv a G o sv am i, S rila B h aktisid d h an ta S arasv ati T hakura,
and S rila Prabhupada.
T h e relative and absolute view points can be adjusted. K rsna
is also w orshiped sim ultaneously as relative (the naughty son o f
Y asoda) an d as absolute (th e Suprem e Lord w ho con tain s all the
universes in H is m outh).
A s I prepare to con tin ue A Poor M an Reads the Bhagavatam,
I m ust also rem ind m yself o f the responsibility I h ave toward my
readers. E ven w hen I play w ith words, I h ave to serve Krsna. If
I am som etim es shackled by n on devotee thoughts, and if I
express them , th at expression should n ot be an indulgence but
an attem p t to shake o ff maya. T h u s I need to follow N ara d a ’s
advice to V yasa to directly glorify K rsna in d evotion al service.
T h ere is no p oin t in becom in g bogged down by m undane sp ec
u lation s an d sense gratification. In my case, my struggle is e v i
den t o n every page. M y readers are bound to see blood, but
please trust th at the self is becom in g purified by this process.
W e pray at the lotus feet o f the spiritual m asters in disciplic

succession , w ho are all con tain ed in essence in the lotus feet o f
our ow n spiritual master. W e also pray for the m ercy to be able
to represent them , to dare to serve them . T h e servant takes the
guru’s order upon his head an d helps others as a way o f offering
service to his guru. H e glorifies K rsna an d the bhakti process.
Bhakti is so m erciful th at even the fallen souls can practice it;

bhakti is liberal and free. It engages all our propensities and a l
lows us to engage art and freedom in H is service. It establishes
the suprem acy o f K rsna in this world.
S in ce this verse and purport refer to honoring the spiritual
m aster’s arrival, I will close w ith som e relevan t quotes on the
spiritual m aster’s glories and the gratitude we all owe him.
guru krsna-rupa hana sastrera pramane

guru rupe krsna krpa karena bhakta-gane
acaryam mam vijamyan

navamanyeta karhicit
na martya buddhyasuyeta
sarva-deva mayo guruh
siksa-guruke ta' jani krsnera svarupa

antaryami, bhakta-srestham-ei dui rupa
naivopayanty apacitim kavayas tavesa

brahmayusapi krtam rddha-mudah smarantah
yo ‘ntar bahis tanu-bhrtam asubham vidhunvann
acarya-caittya-vapusa sva-gatim vyanakti
A ccording to the deliberate opinion of all revealed scriptures,

the spiritual master is nondifferent from Krsna. Lord Krsna in
the form of the spiritual m aster delivers His devotees.
O ne should know the acarya as M yself and never disrespect
him in any way. O ne should not envy him, thinking him an
ordinary man, for he is the representative of all the demigods.
O ne should know the instructing spiritual master to be the
Personality of Krsna. Lord Krsna manifests H im self as the
Supersoul and as the greatest devotee o f the Lord.
O my Lord! Transcendental poets and experts in spiritual
science could not fully express their indebtedness to You, even
if they were endowed with the prolonged lifetime of Brahma, for
You appear in two features— externally as the acarya and inter

nally as the Supersoul— to deliver the em bodied living being by
directing him how to com e to You.
— C c. Adi 1.45-48
A Poor M an Reads the Bhagavatam , Volum e Two,

completed Sunday, M arch 24, 1996
at Sarandgati-dhama, British Columbia
Glossary
A
Acamana— purification by water and mantra.
Acarya — a spiritual master who teaches by his personal behavior.
Adhoksaja— a nam e o f Lord Visnu, m eaning “H e who is beyond the
reach o f the material senses.”
Adhyatmic— anglicized derivative of the Sanskrit word adhyatmika,
“miseries caused by one’s own body and m ind.”
Aham brahmasmi— Sanskrit for “I am spirit.”
Anartha— unwanted things; m aterial desire.
Anartha-nivritti— the cleansing o f unwanted things from the heart.
Annakuta— the ceremony of offering grains; refers to the ceremony of
offering grains to G ovardhana Hill.
Antya-lila— the last eighteen years of Lord Caitanya’s manifest pastimes;
the portion of the Caitanya-caritdmrta recounting those pastimes.
Arjuna— one o f the five Pandavas. Krsna spoke the Bhagavad-gita to
him on the Battlefield of Kuruksetra.
Artha— econom ic development.
Asana— a yogic posture; a seat.
Asat— temporary; without factual existence.
Asrama— a spiritual order: brahmacari (celibate student), grhastha
(householder), vanaprastha (retired), sannyasi (renunciate); living
quarters for those engaged in spiritual practices.
Atma— the soul or living entity.
Atma-tattva— knowledge of the self.
Avadhuta— a spirtually advanced person whose activities are not re
stricted by social convention.
B
Baladeva— Krsna’s elder brother and His first plenary expansion.
Bhagavad-gita— lit., “song of G o d .” T he discourse between Lord Krsna
and His devotee Arjuna, expounding devotional service as both the
principal means and the ultimate end o f spiritual perfection.
Glossary 349
Bhagavan— lit. one who possesses all opulence.” The Supreme Lord,
who is the reservoir of all beauty, strength, fame, wealth, knowl
edge, and renunciation.
Bhagavata— anything related to Bhagavan, especially the Lord’s devo
tee and the scripture, Snmad-Bhagavatdm.
Bhajana— devotional activities.
Bhajana-kutir— a hermitage-like residence for the practice of devo
tional activities.
Bhajananandi— a devotee who is satisfied to cultivate devotional ser
vice for himself.
Bhakta— a devotee of Krsna.
Bhakti— devotional service to the Supreme Lord.
Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu— lit., “The Ocean of the Pure Nectar of
Devotional Service”; a treatise on the science of devotional service
(bhakti), written by Srila Rupa Gosvami.
Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvatl Thakura— the spiritual master of His
Divine Grace A . C . Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada; an acarya
in the Gaudiya Vaisnava sampradaya.
Bhaktivedanta Institute— an organization within ISKC O N which
conducts scientific research and education in accordance with the
Gaudiya Vaisnava philosophy.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura— an acarya in the Gaudiya Vaisnava disciplic
succession; the father of Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvatl Thakura.
Bhava— the stage of transcendental ecstacy experienced after tran
scendental affection.
Bhism a— the most powerful and oldest warrior in the Battle of
Kuruksetra and one of the chief authorities on devotional service
to the Lord.
Brahma— the first created living being and the secondary creator of
the material universe.
Brahmacari— a celibate student living under the care of a bona fide
spiritual master.
Brahman— the impersonal aspect of the Absolute Truth; spirit.
Brahmana thread— a loop of six to nine threads worn around the neck
and torso of a male brahmana, used in chanting mantras.
Brahma-sabda— transcendental sound, considered by Vedic philoso
phy to be self-evident proof of knowledge.
Brahm a-sam hita— Lord Brahm a’s prayers glorifying the Supreme
Lord.
B rahm avadi— those who are absorbed in thought o f the impersonal
Brahman.
c
C ad ar— a shawl.
C aitan ya (M ahaprabhu)— lit. “ living force.” A n incarnation o f Krsna
who appeared in the form of a devotee to teach love of G od
through the sahkirtana movement.
C aitanya-caritam rta— the biography and philosophy of C aitanya
M ahaprabhu, written by Srila Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvam i.
C anakya P an d ita— a legendary advisor to the H indu king,
Candragupta, reknowned through history for his social and politi
cal wisdom.
C h u rn a— a generic term for any of a variety of Ayurvedic medicinal
herbal powders.
D
D an davats— lit., “ like a stick.” To offer prostrated obeisances, extend
ing on e’s limbs in a straight line.
D arsan a— vision; audience.
D ev ak i— Krsna’s m other in Mathura.
D h am a— abode; the Lord’s place o f residence.
D harm a— the duties prescribed by on e’s nature and social position;
ultimately, dharma means devotional service to the Supreme Lord.
D h oti— Vedic m en’s dress.
D h rtarastra— the uncle of the Pandavas. His attempt to usurp their
kingdom resulted in the Kuruksetra war.
D h ru v a (M ah araja)— a great devotee who at five years old, performed
severe austerities and realized the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
D u ry o d h an a— the eldest son of D hrtarastra and ch ief rival of
the Pandavas.
D v a p a ra-y u ga— the third in the cycle o f four ages, lasting
864,000 years.
Glossary 351
E
Ekadasi — a day on which Vaisnavas fast from grains and beans and
increase their remembrance of Krsna. It falls on the eleventh day of
both the waxing and waning moons.
G
G am ch a— a thin cotton towel, com monly used in India.
G aru d a— Lord Visnu’s eternal carrier, a great devotee in a bird-like form.
G au ra-k isora dasa B abaji— the spiritual m aster o f Srila Bhaktisid-
dhanta Sarasvati Thakura.
G au ra Purnim a— the appearance day o f Lord Caitanya.
G ay atri — a prayer chanted silently by brahmanas at sunrise, noon,
and sunset.
G o lo k a— Krsnaloka, the eternal abode of Lord Krsna.
G o p i— a cowherd girl; one of K rsna’s m ost confidential servitors.
G opi-m anjaris— Srim ati R adharani’s most confidential maidservants.
G opin ath a— a nam e of Krsna; refers here to the Deity at the temple in
Rem una.
G osth yan an di— a devotee who desires to preach the glories o f the
holy name.
G osvam i— one who controls his mind and senses; title o f one in the
renounced order of life. May refer specifically to the S ix Gosvam is
o f Vrndavana, who are direct followers of Lord C aitanya in disci-
plic succession, and who system atically presented His teachings.
G rh asth a— a m anied person living according to the Vedic social system.
G uh yam — confidential; hidden.
G u ru d eva— one of many titles which may be used in addressing one’s
own spiritual master.
G u ru k u la— a school headed by the spiritual master.
H
H a lava— a sweet dish made from roasted grains, butter, sugar, and
water or milk.
H ari — a nam e o f Krsna.
H arid asa T h ak u ra — a great devotee of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu;

known as the ndmacarya, the master who taught the chanting of
the holy names by his own example.
H ari-nam a — lit., “the name of the Lord.”
I
I S K C O N — acronym of the International Society for Krishna C on
sciousness.
Ista-gosthi — discussions on the teachings of the spiritual master
among his disciples.
J
Jap a — individual chanting of the Hare Krsna mantra while counting
on beads.
Jiva— the individual eternal soul or living entity; part and parcel of
the Supreme Lord.
Jiv a G osvam i — one of the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana.
Jn an a — the process of approaching the Supreme by the cultivation of
knowledge.
K
K aliya — a serpent-demon who was chastised by Krsna in His Vrnda
vana pastimes.
K ali-yuga — the present age, which is characterized by quarrel and
hypocrisy.
K alp a — a unit of cosmic time, equal to one day of Brahma, or
4,320,000,000 years.
K am a — sense gratification; lust.
K am sa — a demoniac king who tried to kill Krsna during His child
hood pastimes.
K aratalas — hand cymbals used during kirtana.
K arm a — The cycle of action and reaction which binds one to the
material universe.
K arm a-kan da — a portion of the Vedas detailing sacrifices for material
elevation.
Glossary 353
K arm a-yoga— the process o f G o d realization by dedicating the fruits

o f on e’s work to G od.
K arm i— one engaged in karma (fruitive activity); a materialist.
K aviraja— an Ayurvedic doctor.
K h adi— hom espun cotton cloth.
K irtan a— chanting of the Lord’s holy names.
K rsn ad asa K aviraja G osvam i— the author of Sri Caitanya-caritamrta.
K rsn a-kath a— topics spoken by or about Krsna.
K rsn a-prem a— love o f Krsna.
K u m aras— four great sages, devotees o f the Lord, who exist eternally in
the form of brahmacans o f the kumara (four- to five-year-old) age.
K u rta— a tunic-like m en’s shirt, com monly worn in India.
L
Laddu— a traditional Indian sweetball made with chickpea flour, but
ter, and sweetener.
L au lyam — greed; usually refers to intense desire to see Krsna.
L ila— pastimes.
M
M adhavendra P u ri— the spiritual master of Isvara Puri
M adhurya— lit., “sweetness.” Refers to the sweet conjugal pastim es of
Krsna and the gopis.
M adhya-lila— the pastim es Lord C aitanya performed during the m id
dle part o f H is m anifest presence, while H e was traveling through
out India; the portion of the Caitanya-caritamrta recounting those
pastimes.
M aha-bhagavata— a devotee in the highest stage of devotional life.
M ah ab h arata— the history of ancient India, com piled by S rila
Vyasadeva and including the Bhagavad-gita.
M ahajanas— refers to the twelve authorized agents o f the Lord whose
duty is to preach the path o f devotional service to the people in
general.
M aha-m antra— the great chant for deliverance: Hare Krsna Hare
Krsna, Krsna Krsna Hare Hare/ Hare Ram a Hare R am a, Ram a
R am a Hare Hare.
M ah araja— great king. A lso used as a title of respect for a sannyasi.

M ahatm a— great soul.
M andira— temple.
M arigala-arati— the first Deity worship of the day, performed an hour
and a h alf before sunrise.
M athura— the city where Lord Krsna appeared and to which H e later
returned after performing His childhood pastimes.
M aya— the external, illusory energy of the Lord, comprising this
m aterial world; forgetfulness o f on e’s relationship with Krsna.
M ayapur— a town in West Bengal, India, where Lord C aitanya
appeared.
M ayavadi— an impersonalist or voidist who believes that G od is ulti
mately formless and without personality.
M leccha— a class o f persons outside the social and spiritual divisions
of Vedic culture, whose standards and practices are considered
abom inable.
M o k sa— liberation.
M uni— a sage or self-realized soul.
M u rti— a form, usually referring to a Deity.
N
N aim isaran ya— a sacred forest in central India, considered to be the
hub o f the universe.
N arad a-bh akti S u tra— instructions on the science of devotional ser
vice, written by N arada Muni.
N a rad a M uni— a great devotee of Lord Krsna who travels throughout
the spiritual and m aterial worlds singing the Lord’s glories and
preaching the path of devotional service.
N aray an a— the four-handed expansion of Lord Krsna.
T h e N ectar o f D evotion— Srila Prabhupada’s summary study of Srila
Rupa G o svam i’s Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu.
N iti S astra s— a collection o f social instructions by C anakya Pandita.
N ityan an d a— the incarnation of Lord Balarama, who is a principal
associate o f Lord Caitanya.
N rsim h a(d ev a)— the half-man, half-lion incarnation of Lord Krsna
who appeared to save Prahlada M aharaja from Hiranyakasipu.
Glossary 355
P
P aram aham sa— the highest stage of the sannyasa order; a person on
the highest platform of spiritual realization; a topm ost devotee of
the Lord.
Param para— the disciplic succession of bona fide spiritual masters.
P arasara M uni— a great sage and the father of Srila Vyasadeva.
Parikram a— a walking pilgrimage.
Pariksit Maharaja— the emperor of the world five thousand years ago
who heard Srimad-Bhagavatam from Sukadeva G osvam i and thus
attained perfection.
Prabhu-datta-desa— the geographical location assigned by the spiri
tual m aster to the disciple for service to his mission.
Prabhupada, A. C . Bhaktivedanta Swami— Founder-acarâ of
IS K C O N and foremost preacher of Krsna consciousness in the
W estern world.
Prajalpa— foolish, idle, or m undane speech. Talks unrelated to Krsna
consciousness.
Prakrta-sahajiya— a class o f pseudo-devotees who take the conjugal
pastim es o f Krsna and the gopis cheaply and do not follow the
proper regulations of vaidhi-bhakti.
Pralam bhasura— a dem on who disguised him self as a cowherd boy in
order to kill Balarama.
Prana— the life air o f the body; vital energy.
Prasadam— lit., “mercy.” Food which is spiritualized by being offered
to Krsna, and which helps purify the living entity; also referred to
as prasada.
P rataparud ra— the king of Orissa at the time of Lord Caitanya's m an
ifest presence and a great devotee o f the Lord.
P u ran a— Vedic histories of the universe in relation to the Supreme
Lord and His devotees. T he “spotless” Purana refers to the Srimad-
Bhagavatam.
P u ri— a deep-fried, puffed bread.
R
R ad h aran i (R ad h a)— the eternal consort and spiritual potency of
Lord Krsna.
Raganuga-bhakti— devotional service following the spontaneous lov

ing service of the inhabitants of Vrndavana.
Raghunatha dasa Gosvami— one of the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana.
Rasa— the spiritual essence of a personal relationship with the Su
preme Lord.
Rasa-lila— refers to Krsna’s pastime of dancing with the gopis.
Rasgulla— a typical Bengali sweet, consisting of balls of fresh curd,
cooked and soaked in a sugar syrup.
R si— sage.
Ruci— lit. “taste.” A stage in the practice of Krsna consciousness in
which one develops a natural attraction or “taste” for the activities
of devofional service.
Rupa Gosvami— one of the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana.
s
Sac-cid-ananda— the qualities of eternality (sat), perfect knowledge
(cit), and bliss (ananda), possesed in totality by the Supreme Lord
and in minute quantity by the living entity.
Sadhana— regulated spiritual activites meant to increase one’s attach
ment to Krsna.
Sadhu— saintly person.
S a d h u 'S a i i g a — the association of saintly persons.
Sakti— potency.
Saktyavesa— an incarnation empowered by the Lord for a specific
purpose.
Sampradaya— a chain of disciplic succession through which spiritual
knowledge is transmitted.
Samsara— cycle of repeated birth and death.
Samskaras— Vedic purificatory rites of passage.
Sanatana Gosvami— one of the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana.
Sankaracarya— an incarnation of Lord Siva who, ordered by the
Supreme Lord, propagated the impersonal Mayavada philosophy,
which negates the distinction between God and the living entity.
Sahkirtana— the congregational chanting of the holy name, fame,
and pastimes of the Lord.
Sannyasi— one in the renounced order of life.
Sastra— revealed scripture.
Glossary 357
Satya-yuga— the first of the four ages in the cosmic cycle of time,
characterized by the absence of vice and the predominance of the
mode of goodness.
Seva— service.
Siddhi— a mystic yogic perfection.
Siva— the personality in charge of the mode of ignorance.
Sloka— a stanza of Sanskrit verse.
Smaranam— the devotional process of remembering the Lord.
Sraddha— firm faith and confidence.
Sravanam— hearing about Krsna.
Srimad-Bhagavatam— the Purana, written by Srila Vyasadeva, which
specifically points to the path of devotional love of God.
Sruti — the original Vedic literatures: the four Vedas and the
Upanisads; scripture received directly from God.
Sudra— a laborer; one of the four Vedic social orders.
Sukadeva Gosvami— the sage who originally spoke the Srimad-
Bhagavatam to King Pariksit just prior to the king’s death.
Suta Gosvami— the sage who recounted the discourses between
Maharaja Pariksit and Sukadeva Gosvami to the sages assembled at
Naimisaranya.
Svarupa Damodara— Lord Caitanya’s secretary and constant compan
ion who helped the Lord experience the attitude of Radharani.
Svarupa-siddhi— the perfection of one’s eternal relationship with
Lord Krsna.
T
Tapasya— austerity.
Tenth Canto— the part of the Srimad-Bhagavatam describing the most
confidential pastimes of Lord Krsna.
Tulasi— a great devotee in the form of a plant; her leaves are always
offered to the lotus feet of the Lord.
u
Uddhava— a confidential friend of Sri Krsna in Dvaraka.
Upanisads— 108 philosophical treatises that appear within the Vedas.
Utsaha— enthusiasm.
U ttam aslo k a— a nam e o f Krsna; “He who is praised with transcen

dental song or poetry.”
V
V aikuntha— the spiritual world.
V airagya— renunciation.
V aisnava— one who is a devotee of Visnu or Krsna.
V ani— the instruction of the spiritual master.
V apuh— the presence of the physical body; generally refers to per
sonal, physical association with the spiritual master.
V arna— the four occupational divisions of society: intellectual (brah
m ana), adm inistrator (ksatriya), mercantile (vaisya), and laborer
(sudra).
V arnasram a— the Vedic social system o f four social and four spiritual
orders.
V asudeva— the father o f Lord Krsna.
V edas— the original revealed scriptures.
V idura— a V aisnava uncle o f the Pandavas; the incarnation of
Yam araja during Krsna’s manifest pastimes on Earth.
V in a— a stringed instrument.
V isn u — a fully empowered expansion of Krsna.
V isvan ath a C ak ra v arti T h a k u ra — a great V aisnava acarya and
scholar.
V raja— V rndavana.
V rndavana— Krsna’s personal abode, where He fully manifests His
personal qualities.
V yasadeva— the original com piler of the Vedas and author of the
Vedanta-sutra and Mahabhdrata, and the author of the Srimad-
Bhagavatam.
V yasasana— a special, elevated seat, reserved for the speaker of
Srimad-Bhagavatam.
Y
Y am araja— the superintendent of death and karmic justice.
Yoga-nidra— the mystic slumber of Lord Visnu.
Glossary 359
Yogi— one who practices sense control with the aim of spiritual real
ization.
Yuga— an “age.” There are four yugas, which cycle perpetually: Satya-
yuga, Treta-yuga, Dvapara-yuga, and Kali-yuga.
Y uga'dharm a— specific practice o f self-realization recom mended in
the Vedas for a particular yuga.
Y ukta-vairagya— real renunciation by utilizing everything in the ser
vice o f G od.
z
Zonal acarya— A now defunct title which conferred exclusive spiri
tual authority on designated gurus over defined geographic zones.
Acknowledgments
I w ould like to th an k the follow ing disciples and friends who

h elped produce an d print this book:
B alad eva V idyabh usan a dasa

B h ak ta W illiam W ebb
C aitan ya-d aya-devi dasi
G u ru 'S e v a -d e v i dasi
K aiso ri'd ev i dasi
Lalitam rta-devI dasi
M adh ava dasa
M adh um an gala dasa
N arayan a-k avaca dasa
R ukm avatl-devI dasi
T ulasi'priya-devi dasi
V aruna d asa
S p ecial th an ks to B aladeva V idyabhusana d asa and M adhurya-

lila-devl dasi for their kind d on ation to print this book.
360

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A Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam

A Poor Man Reads

Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

© 1998 G N Press, Inc.

O Ambarisa, it you wish to end your material existence, then

I am w riting th is preface especially for readers w ho m ay com e

— February 15, 1996, Ekadasi

Krsna Is the Source of All Incarnations

ete cdmsa-kaldh pumsah

A ll o f the above-m entioned in carn atio n s are either plenary

all in carn ation s, K rsna com es to fulfill a m ission. It’s not th at to

K rsna m akes various statem en ts in Bhagavad-gita w hich c o n ­

K rsn ad asa K av iraja also discusses this mahdvakya verse in the

by m ost H indus, w ho im agine that K rsna is an in carn ation of

w ould h av e said: ‘N arayan a, the source o f all in carn ation s, is the

Diary, Little Life, etc.

A h , I w ish it were true th at I reveled in S ri K rsna’s qualities,

o n th at thirteen-hour drive? W h at a waste o f tim e th at drive

bathe h im or ch an ge his clothes. It was such an unusual day,

Krsnas tu bhagavan svayam. We can develop som e o f Sri

the w orld’s gurukulas, and th at you m ay have to uproot yourself

“Yes, we h ave n o ban an as,

jan m a guhyam bhagavato

W h oever ca refu lly recites th e m y sterio u s ap p earan ces o f the

earlier, “W h o is there, desiring deliveran ce from the vices o f the

T h e appearance o f the avataras is described as m ysterious.

the h idden reasons for T h e ir particular appearance? D oes the list

in carn atio n or devotee, is m ean t to keep us on the progressive

H ey m an, this is good

B etter to hear, learn

T h e m ysterious in carn ation s are revealed to the devotees.

T ip W riter, T ip O ’N eal, tip off, tip the scales. I am alone w ith

n o book delivered from myself. We are each a person in our own

etad rupam bhagavato

T h e co n cep tio n o f the v irat u n iv ersal form o f th e L o rd ,

im personalists who can n o t con ceive o f the tran scendental form

life are so absorbed in m aterialism th at it is alm ost im possible for

S o m uch for them guys who m editate on the universal form.

side the bounds o f sastra, we m ay find it elusive. W e m ay even

L et me give an exam ple o f w hat I m ean by form al and infor­

rh etorical question : “W hat is the purpose o f the bull in hum an

yatha nabhasi meghaugho

C lo u d s an d d u st are carried by the air, bu t less intelligent p er­

m akes sense th at in order to understand any subject m atter, we

A lth o u g h we m ay be m istaken w hen we see the spiritual

Typing on the Old Manual Godrej

A t least th ere’s solace in know ing th at there is a spiritual

From the window of the IS K C O N h otel 1 see a m an rolling

in his Bom bay room s, I can say right here to my sm aller

I w ant you to accep t me as

N ow dear G o d , You have the right,

B ey o n d th is gross con ception of form is an oth er, subtle co n ­

is th at the Lord is etern ally existen t in H is tran scen den tal

T h e agn ostics or hesitant, doubting neophytes may raise

o f like-m inded devotees. A fixed devotee is sure o f the co n clu ­

I am up early an d w ant to tell you that my h eadach e is lin ­

tigh ten s around my head. I am lim ited an d confined by bodily

M y problem is th at I w ant to be both a parrot and a free

R ock B ottom put on his trousers and then decided he had

A n d re Breton w rites surreal. I w ant to do it devotee-style.

N icely said, R ock. Okay, sit down. T h is is a w riting class after

G ro ss and subtle forms. Sp irit beyond. How do I know? I

talk o f oth ers’ passing away (n o t death ) as “auspicious,” and the

T h e re ’s an interesting relationship betw een giving a Bhdg-

K rsna m akes various statem en ts in Bhagavad-gita w hich c o n

L et me give an exam ple o f w hat I m ean by form al and infor

C lo u d s an d d u st are carried by the air, bu t less intelligent p er

B ey o n d th is gross con ception of form is an oth er, subtle co n

o f like-m inded devotees. A fixed devotee is sure o f the co n clu

I am up early an d w ant to tell you that my h eadach e is lin

I also n otice th at I’m often reluctant to go through the b o th

D evak ln an d an a Prabhu is stout and m uscular, and he is try

backw ardness o f India. Prabhupada says th at Indians try “artifi

B ack at the S electric. I am n ot the “foolish m an ” w ho sp ecu

T h e d evotio n al service described in this verse is full o f co n

W hew ! I finally m ade it here despite the detours and my co r