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An educational fable

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2003 Phys. Educ. 38 360

(http://iopscience.iop.org/0031-9120/38/4/606)

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S IGNING O FF
An educational fable
The Supremo was too
virtuous to considers sins
and secs, whilst logs were
regarded as old-fashioned
in a country that had cut
down its forests.
360 P H YSI C S E D U C AT I O N
As Figaro said, a book-keeper was
needed but they appointed a dancer.
Sinjor Trendi was a very good
dancer but he knew no mathemat-
ics. He was appointed Supremo
for Education in the kingdom of
Phantasmagoria with instructions
to reform education in maths. Con-
sultants were asked to name those
concepts in maths that were most
important. The Supremo was too
virtuous to considers sins and secs,
whilst logs were regarded as old-
fashioned in a country that had cut
down its forests. Eventually Sr
Trendi decided that the cosine
would be used as a unifying prin-
ciple in education, to be taught to
all children from the age of eight.
In Phantasmagorian English
‘cause’ is pronounced ‘cos’ so
children were taught that cosines
were the causes of everything.
From the word ‘cosmos’ it was
deduced that half the universe con-
sisted of cos. Thus children were
assumed to come to school
already having experience of
cosines, so all education could be
based on this experience.
Reactionary teachers asserted
that before one can understand
cosines one must master angles
and ratios. But ‘angle’ is easily
confused with ‘angel’and so was
banned under the regulations
relating to religious education,
and since Horatio Nelson once
destroyed the Phantasmagorian
fleet, ‘ratio’ was condemned as
unpatriotic. Educational journals
refused to publish articles and let-
ters from old-fashioned teachers.
Schools were ordered to
improve children’s experience of
cosines. All school gardens had to
grow cos lettuce. As the maximum
value of a cosine is for a sharp edge
or point pupils were taught that a
cos is ‘a measure of sharpness’.
Thus it could be maintained that
eight-year-olds can easily under-
stand cosines, since every child
has sometime been pricked with a
thorn or a hypodermic needle.
When Sr Trendi was told that
the maximum value of a cosine is
unity he had an inspiration. In
compliment to the King, Cosimo
the Magniloquent, he ordered that
the number ‘one’ should be
renamed ‘cosimo’, since nobody
could be sharper than the sover-
eign. The Supremo was elevated
to the peerage as Count Trendi.
The Count soon gained inter-
national fame for his advanced
views. The Academy of Culture
of the Republic of Dementia
awarded him their gold medal.
For the presentation Count Trendi
embarked on the inaugural flight
of the Royal Phantasmagorian
Aircurves. The aircraft was nav-
igated by the first graduate of the
new educational system.
Nothing has ever been heard of
the ’plane or its occupants since.
As a lecturer in physics education
and subsequently in retirement
John Warren has been a regular
contributor to Physics Education
since it was first published in
1966. He is well known for his
strong opposition to any water-
ing down of good physics.
John Warren
Wembley, London
July 2003