BY

effective of discipleship during courtship

OYEWINLE TAIWO TEMITAYO
MATRIC NO: 0152/S8LBSM/023

SUBMITED TO:
LIFE BUILDER SCHOOL OF MINISTRY ORE, ONDO STATE.

TAIWO OYEWINLE;BTECH;victor paul

SUPERVISOR BY:
MRS ADENIYI OLUWASEYI OLUWATOYIN

MARCH, 2024
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ABSTRACTION
This research work is done in assessing the effectiveness of
discipleship during courtship, the objective of this research is to let the
youth know that courtship without discipleship Is a great omission in
marriage. This work is done by asking questions from people who are in
courtship and how discipleship has helped them in courtship, bible
reference, personal experience and internet. The respondents affirmed that
there is no greater school in courtship than discipleship where you can be
well trained on how to live happily and peacefully with individual
difference. It is therefore recommending that there should be proper
discipleship before marriage.
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ACKNOWLEDGE
Primarily I bless the name of almighty for being able to complete this
project successfully.
Also my appreciation goes to my supervisor who took her time to
make necessary correction, I say a big thank you ma, may the lord bless you
and your family.
My gratitude goes to the school management who gave me the
opportunity to pass through life builder school of ministry and that serves
as an agent of transformation to my spiritual life., it is a great opportunity
indeed, may God increase you and expand you in all areas of life.
My profound gratitude goes to my disciples who work and watch me
in discipleship, she has gave me a life experience that is more worthy than
academy intelligence, may her anointing never runs dry
Lastly my appreciation goes to my dearly beloved twin sister who
God use to bring me into discipleship, your impact in my life will never be
forgotten, may God continue to help you, strengthen you and direct your
way.
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Table of Contents
ABSTRACTION........................................................................................................................................................................... 1
ACKNOWLEDGE........................................................................................................................................................................ 2
Table of Contents..................................................................................................................................................................... 3
CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION.....................................................................................................................................................4
BACKGROUND OF STUDY.....................................................................................................................................................4
CHAPTER 2: WHAT IS DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP..................................................................................................................5
WHAT DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP IS.................................................................................................................................5
EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT FOLLOW DELIBERATE.........................................................................................................5
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT JOURNEY TILL THE END IN DISCIPLESHIP.............................................................5
EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE WHO SHIP WITH MASTER............................................................................................................5
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT ARE TRAIN IN DISCIPLESHIP.................................................................................6
WHAT ARE THE MEANS OF PREPARING MEN IN DISCIPLESHIP........................................................................................6
WHO IS A DISCIPLIER............................................................................................................................................................ 6
WHO A DISCIPLER IS?......................................................................................................................................................6
A DISCIPLER IS A TEACHER (Matt 22v:16, Matt5:1-2,Matt5:19,)......................................................................................6
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER WHO LIVE ACCORDING TO THEIR TEACHING...........................................................................7
A DISCIPLER IS A TRAINER (Isa. 8:16)...............................................................................................................................7
WHAT ARE THE MEANS OF TRAINING.............................................................................................................................7
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT TRANSFER THEIR LIFE.....................................................................................................7
A DISCIPLER IS A SPIRITUAL PARENTS (1Cor4:15)............................................................................................................7
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT SERVES AS SPIRITUAL PARENTS......................................................................................7
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF A CORRECT DISCIPLER................................................................................................................7
QUALITIES OF GOOD DISCIPLER...........................................................................................................................................8
THINGS DISCIPLER TOLERATE..........................................................................................................................................8
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT ARE TOLERANCE..............................................................................................8
WHO IS A DISCIPLE...............................................................................................................................................................8
WHAT A DISCIPLE MUST BE..................................................................................................................................................9
Examples of Disciples that are committed to their discipleship relationship...................................................................9
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLES THAT ARE ACCOUNTABLE........................................................................................................9
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLE THAT ARE OBEDIENT..................................................................................................................9
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLES THAT ARE SENDABLE................................................................................................................9
IMPORTANT/BENEFITS OF DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP...............................................................................................10
DISADVANTAGES OF DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP........................................................................................................10
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLES THAT ARE NOT COMMITTED OR FOLLOW GENUINELY..........................................................10
WHAT ARE THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCE THAT CAN HAPPEN TO THOSE THAT ARE NOT FOLLOWING GENUINELY.........10
WHAT HINDERS PEOPLE TO BE DISCIPLE.......................................................................................................................11
WRONG MOTION OF PEOPLE TOWARDS DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP.........................................................................11
CHAPTER 3: WHAT IS COURTSHIP?.........................................................................................................................................12
STAGES OF COURTSHIP......................................................................................................................................................12
STAGE 1– PRE-COURTSHIP.............................................................................................................................................12
QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF ARE AS FOLLOWING:....................................................................................12
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT PRACTICE PRE-COURTSHIP................................................................................13
STAGE 2- COURTSHIP.....................................................................................................................................................13
STAGE 3 -POST-COURTSHIP...........................................................................................................................................13
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE WHO PRACTICE COURTSHIP.......................................................................................13
IMPORTANT OF COURTSHIP...............................................................................................................................................13
CHAPTER 4: DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP DURING COURTSHIP..............................................................................................14
WHAT DISCIPLER DOES DURING COURTSHIP.....................................................................................................................14
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT OVERLOOK DISCIPLES COURTSHIP.................................................................14
CONCLUSION.......................................................................................................................................................................... 15
REFERENCE............................................................................................................................................................................. 15
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CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND OF STUDY
Many marriages have been desolate by the devil or by the character
of the two individual coming together from different environment, lifestyle,
and exposure as an husband and wife which needs solution.
Marriage of now days are no longer build on a solid rock(Christ) that
can hold the home when the terrible wind blow, therefore this study is a
research done to help and to look into some marriage that discipleship
have helped during courtship that later sustain them in their life journey
(marriage)
The research is done and carried out with the help of online research,
people that have pass through courtship, happy home, bible reference and
interview from people that are currently in courtship, how discipleship
relationship has helped them during courtship
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CHAPTER 2: WHAT IS DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP

Discipleship relationship is a journey of intentional decisions leading
to maturity in your relationship with Jesus Christ. (Matthew 8:19-22 &4:19).
Discipleship relationship is the act of following Christ in the life of a
matured Christ like. (it is a physical contact)
Discipleship relationship is a mean of building men to have good and
better relationship with Christ in order to carry out their divine assignment
Luke 3:14

WHAT DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP IS

 Discipleship relationship must be intentionally. To be intention mean
to be deliberate, no one can be Force into discipleship, you must
determine to follow Jesus and you have to make the choice yourself.
EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT FOLLOW DELIBERATE
1 Ruth (Ruth 1 :15-18)
2 Elisha (1kg 19:19-21)
3 Peter and Andrew (Matt 4:19-20)
4 Zebedee's sons (Matt 4:21-22)
5 The scribe (Matt 8:19)

 Discipleship relationship is a life journey relationship. You can't

graduate from the school of discipleship and it's does not have age
limitations, from single to married, from married to vision and forever, it
is a long life relationship that do not have dead end until God call you to
glory.
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT JOURNEY TILL THE END IN
DISCIPLESHIP
1 Elisha (2kg 2:11-12)
2 Eleazar (Gen12:1-9)
3 Stephen (Act 7:54-60)

 Discipleship relationship is a ship. A ship is a means of transportation

that convey people, goods from one place to another and also serve as a
place of protection.
Discipleship is a ship that protect you from all evils out of the ship.
EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE WHO SHIP WITH MASTER
1 Simon Peter (John 6:68)
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2 The twelve disciples (Matt 8:24-25)

3 Paul and the centurion (Act 27:31)

 Discipleship is a place of training. Discipleship is a place of discipline

and engaged you with activities that put more impact and acquire skills
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT ARE TRAIN IN DISCIPLESHIP
1 Moses was train to tend flock and led them in Jethro house and this
help him to led the children of Israelites out of Egypt (Exo. 3:1)
2 Jacob was train to work(Wait) patiently in the house of Laban (Gen
29:15&20, Gen 29:30c)
3 Ruth she was well trained ahead of her marriage (Ruth 3:3)
4 Esther she received proper training from her uncle Mordecai, how to
keep quiet, respectful and obedience (Esther 2:20MSB)
5 Samuel he was train to become a prophet and to hear the voice of God
(1 Sam 3:-10)

 Discipleship is a place of preparation. Discipleship prepare you ahead

of your vision before you could be lunch out into fulfillment of your
vision. It a place of building, molding, and making out the best in you.
WHAT ARE THE MEANS OF PREPARING MEN IN DISCIPLESHIP
1 Through teaching
2 Through impaction
3 Through sending
4 Through unpalatable instructions (Hosea :1 downward)
5 Through rebuke (Mark 8:33)

WHO IS A DISCIPLIER
 A disciplier is a matured Christian (not in age) but in the knowledge ,
wisdom and fill with the spirit of God to direct and lead .
 Is someone who teaches the word of God and live the life of what he
teaches (Matthew 5:1)
 Is a life contact transfer that pour out his knowledge, experience and
past to upcoming one to learn from and also teach others (Isaiah 8:16)
WHO A DISCIPLER IS?
A DISCIPLER IS A TEACHER (Matt 22v:16, Matt5:1-2,Matt5:19,)
He Is someone who teaches the true word of God and live the life of
what he teaches.
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EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER WHO LIVE ACCORDING TO THEIR TEACHING

1 Jesus
2 Paul
3 Stephen
4 Moses
5 Daniel
A DISCIPLER IS A TRAINER (Isa. 8:16)
A DISCIPLER train you by bending and stretching you, he molded out
a new version of you to become a leader.
WHAT ARE THE MEANS OF TRAINING
1 through Sending (2King4:29, Mark 11:1)
2 through rebuke (Matt 16:23)
3 through sitting (in the sense of sitting down to receive teaching)
A DISCIPLER Is a life contact transfer ,he transfer his life , transfer his
spirit, his anointing through impaction to his disciple.
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT TRANSFER THEIR LIFE
1 Elijah to Elisha(2king2:14)
2 Moses to Joshua (Numb 27:18-23)
3 Paul to Timothy
4 Eli to Samuel
5 Jesus to his disciples (Mark 3:14-15)

A DISCIPLER IS A SPIRITUAL PARENTS (1Cor4:15)

A discipler is a Spiritual parents that play their role in carrying you
in the spirit realm, in praying for you and guiding you, leading you as God
direct them. Even the role they play in our lives are more than what our
biological one plays.
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT SERVES AS SPIRITUAL PARENTS
1 Naomi
2 Modecai
3 Paul
4 Jethro
5 Abraham
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF A CORRECT DISCIPLER
1. Jesus
2. Naomi
3. Jethro
4. Paul
5. Elizabeth
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6. Elijah
7. Moses
QUALITIES OF GOOD DISCIPLER
 A good discipler is born again: first thing that qualify both good
discipler and disciple is to be born again, a discipler that is not born
again cannot be a discipler rather be a devourer.
This kind of person will lead a disciple astray with head knowledge
leading, because it takes a born again to hear from God , a discipler that
do not hear from God will lead disciple with experience.
 A good discipler must also have a leader (discipler): they must also
have a leader that overlook their life, the one they give all the details of
their lives to , the one they also give full report of their daily lives to.
 A good discipler must be able to see beyond now and physical: a
good discipler must be able to see well spiritually, they must be able to
see into the future and beyond now.
 A good discipler must be diligent: a good discipler must live a life that
is worthy of emulate, that the disciple can learn from.
 A good discipler must be Tolerance: Jesus is the best example of a
leader that tolerate everybody, as a good discipler (a Christ-like) who
transfering the life of Christ to the new one, must also be tolerance as
jesus christ
THINGS DISCIPLER TOLERATE
1 individual difference
2 manner of approach
3 others weaknesses
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT ARE TOLERANCE
1 Jesus
2 Moses
3 Paul
4 Stephen

WHO IS A DISCIPLE
 A DISCIPLE IS A PERSON WHO IS BORN AGAIN (1Jhn 3:3): It's take a
new life to become like Jesus, if a disciple is not born again he is not a
genuine disciple. No matter how a discipler work upon him/her it will
be a waste of time because he's working upon Mr. Flesh, it's take a
Spirituality to follow Jesus and to learn of him.
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 A disciple is a person who willingly submit him/herself under a tutorage

of a disciplier (Matthew 8:19).
 He/she Is one who follows Christ in the life of matured christ like.
 He/she Is the one who receive instructions, corrections and direction
from another (Disciplier)
WHAT A DISCIPLE MUST BE
 A DISCIPLE IS COMMITTED: a disciple is always committed to his or
her discipleship relationship, always ready and available to learn from
his master
Examples of Disciples that are committed to their discipleship relationship
1 Ruth (Ruth1:16)
2 Timothy (phil1:1)
3 Joshua (Exo 24:13)
 A DISCIPLE IS ACCOUNTABLE: a good disciple always gives full report
to his master both good and bad, physically, Spiritually, financially,
morally, a disciple gives full report to his master without hiding
anything or keep anything behind
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLES THAT ARE ACCOUNTABLE
1 Ruth(Ruth3:16-17)
2 Moses(Exo 18:8)
3 Eleazar(Gen24:66)
4 John disciples (luke 7:17-18)
 A DISCIPLE IS OBEDIENT: a good disciple must be obedient to every
instruction of his or her discipler, they do not question the authority of
their discipler
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLE THAT ARE OBEDIENT
1 Eleazar (Gen24:2-10)
2 Abraham (Gen12:1-4)
3 Esther (Esth 2:10)
4 Moses (Exo 3:2-4)
5 peter (Act 10:19)
6 Ruth (Ruth 3:1-5)

 A DISCIPLE IS A SERVANT: a good disciple must be sendable, he must

be ready to take any task giving to him by his discipler
EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLES THAT ARE SENDABLE
1 The twelve apostles (Matt 21:1-3)
2 Ruth (Ruth3:1-5)
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3 Eleazar (Gen24:2-5)

IMPORTANT/BENEFITS OF DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP

Note: Discipleship relationship help us more to be like christ, to live a holy
life and build our capacity in Christ
The important are:
1. It's helps first make you to know Jesus
2. It's helps you to open yourself up so completely to another person to let her
look into your life in the secret places with a level of spiritual honesty and
vulnerability
3. It's help you to be humble
4. It's bring a new version of you
5. It helps you to die to self life by exposing your weakness every day
6. It's strengthen your weakness
7. It's helps you to know more about christ and free you from every heresies
8. It monitor/manage your life and resources
9. It give you directions and lead your path
10. It helps you to discover who you are in christ
11. It's save you from destruction
12. It's build your capacity (physically, Spiritually, financiallyand health
wisely)
DISADVANTAGES OF DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP
Discipleship do not have any disadvantages unless you are not
committed to it or follow genuinely.

EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLES THAT ARE NOT COMMITTED OR FOLLOW

GENUINELY
1 Judas
2 Gihazi
3 Orpah
4 Demas
Discipleship do not have any negative effect on the disciples unless
the disciple is hypocrite in following the leader
WHAT ARE THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCE THAT CAN HAPPEN TO
THOSE THAT ARE NOT FOLLOWING GENUINELY
1 backsliding
2 delay in progress
3 struggling
4 attack
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5 limitations
6 they will not be able to meet up with their expectations
WHAT HINDERS PEOPLE TO BE DISCIPLE
1 Pleasure
2 Sin
3 Inability to have self-decision making
4 lust of the world
5 dependent
6 heresies
WRONG MOTION OF PEOPLE TOWARDS DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP
1 that discipleship is cage
2 that discipleship is slavery
3 that discipleship is bondage
4 disposing of leader vision to disciple
5 that discipleship chooses for you

CONCLUSION: In my little time in discipleship, it only have a positive effects

in my life, in guiding, directing and clearing away all the heresies towards
discipleship relationship and enlighten my knowledge in Christ, teaches me
how to live a good life, matured in characters and in Christ. Only those that
follow because of non-eternal thing or self-interest that experience the
above listed
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CHAPTER 3: WHAT IS COURTSHIP?

Courtship Is a commitment to honor the lord and each other as they
seek God's best in marriage
 Courtship is a period during which a couple develop a romantic
relationship, especially with a view to marriage.
 Courtship is a period where couples get to know each other prior to
marriage.
 Courtship is a period of learning whereby the two come together under
correct teachings to learn what marriage is all about, how to go and
what to do in marriage
 Courtship is a period of patience; it is the time whereby the two couple
learn about each differences that they might not know before praying
them into courtship
During courtship, couple get to know each other weaknesses, like and
dislike.

STAGES OF COURTSHIP
Courtship based on the biblical model of love, romance, sacrifice,
dignity, and covenant implies the following about how two people could
begin a process that may eventually lead to marriage
STAGE 1– PRE-COURTSHIP
The pre-courtship stage is where you should ask yourself the crucial
questions that will help determine if you are in the right season of your life
to actually enter into courtship. In this stage, it is the period you pray and
wait patiently to hear from God if the person is really the one (it is the time
to be discern)
QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF ARE AS FOLLOWING:
1 Am I ready? Before you contemplate courtship, you should attain a
certain level of personal independence. You have to make sure you are
adequately prepared for the responsibilities of marriage and a family.
2 Are we friends? This person you intend to court and someday marry,
can you currently refer to him/her as your friend? Are you able to have
crucial and healthy conversations with this person? Do you also see
yourself being vulnerable with him/her?
3 Do we have similar interests? When you go on group dates, for
instance, this would help both of you figure out certain things about one
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another without filters. Subsequently, you can decide to take it one step
further and begin the process of formally committing to each other.
4 Am I sure? Some people have said that when considering a life partner,
they get a gut feeling about a certain someone not being the right one and
another person being the one. Sometimes that small voice of conviction
could actually be all the confirmation you need. Do you feel peace when you
think about this person?
It is important to note that while the above criteria are important and
contribute largely to the success of courtship, they only exist to help put
you in the right mind-set for all that courtship requires. One simply cannot
be a hundred percent ready for courtship.
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT PRACTICE PRE-COURTSHIP
1 Eleazar on behalf of Isaac (Gen24 12-24)
2 Ruth
3 Jacob (Gen 29:17-18&20)
STAGE 2- COURTSHIP
Two people who have confirmed it is the will of God for them to be
together should begin a process of spending time together. They should
make a covenant together before God involving strict guidelines for not
having physical contact or being alone where they can fall into sexual sin,
and walking in the light and having open communication with one
another.During courtship much prayer should be offered for wisdom, favor,
and understanding

STAGE 3 -POST-COURTSHIP
This is period take place after courtship and couple have make the
decision to marry each other, proper introduction to the family and
arrangements for wedding will take place
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE WHO PRACTICE COURTSHIP
1 Mary and Joseph(Matt 1:18-19)
2 Jacob and Rachel
IMPORTANT OF COURTSHIP
1. It helps you to know more about each other
2. It's the period you unit your vision and purpose
3. It's time you pray together, study together and plan together
4. It a period you expose each other weakness and strengthen each
other
5. It time you correct each other and teach
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6. It's time you discuss important issue that will help your marriage and
future

CHAPTER 4: DISCIPLESHIP RELATIONSHIP DURING

COURTSHIP
Although the Bible does not lay out specifics regarding courtship,
since some of the biblical marriages were arranged by families (for
example, the Old Testament patriarch Isaac and his wife Rebecca were
brought together supernaturally by God with the order of Abraham so also
was Ruth), but this lay down examples of how Christian marriage should
be, Christian courtship (dating) should be oversee by a Spiritual leader like
Naomi and Mordechai
 DISCIPLESHIP DURING COURTSHIP: is a period of mentorship in
which couple should be secured both during the courtship stage and
after the marriage take place.
 DISCIPLESHIP DURING COURTSHIP: is the time of learning the
experienced married couples takes the younger couples under their
wings, coaching them on personal issues that will eventually come up.
 DISCIPLESHIP DURING COURTSHIP: is an act of guiding, monitoring,
impacting (the word of God) on the couple to have a right and
purposeful marriage
WHAT DISCIPLER DOES DURING COURTSHIP
1 Discipler teaches the couple on marriage
2 Discipler teaches couple on tolerance
3 Discipler oversee the courtship both physically and Spiritually
4 Discipler carry couples along in prayer
5 Discipler monitor, guide, and instruct couple during courtship
6 Discipler ensure that the couple have correct teachings and knowledge
about marriage
7 Discipler monitor them and ensure purity, not to have physical contact by
touching each other or caressing each other.
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF DISCIPLER THAT OVERLOOK DISCIPLES
COURTSHIP
1 Naomi (Ruth3:18&4:16)
2 Eleazar on behalf of Abraham(Gen24:12-56)
3 Elizabeth
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4 Modecai
5 Jethro
6 Laban
Courtship based on the biblical model of love, romance, sacrifice,
dignity, and covenant implies the following about how two people could
begin a process that may eventually lead to marriage

CONCLUSION
According to (Titus 2:-5(NLT)These older women must train the
younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely
and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive
to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
This bible verse shows us how a good discipler should take
responsibility over the upcoming couple so that they will have knowledge
on married.
Disciple is very important during courtship and it's also scriptural
according to Titus 2:5.

REFERENCE
 Bible references from KJV&NLT,
 Josephmattera, Tabletalk magazine, personal experience, questioniare