Professional Documents
Culture Documents
25 FEB 2024
Having started the tournament a comer took advantage of this to en- success as the result of a strict train-
rank outsider she began to impress gage a mutual headlock which she ing regimen instituted by her coach
in her second match when she took held for three hours until the Vat- and grandson five-year-old Sammy
US number three Ron Ronson by sur- ican man retired from exhaustion. Johnson. "I’ve been drinking ten
prise and subdued him in twenty sec- The next seven matches were barely raw eggs for breakfast every morning,
onds with her unique move that has a contest as the news of Johnson’s sprinting fifty miles a day and carry-
been dubbed "Maud’s Death Grip". supremacy overawed all her oppo- ing my daughter’s car to the end of
The injection of a new wrestling style nents who became too indimidated to the road and back whenever I felt my
into the tournament was welcomed fight properly. arthritis was OK" she said. Sammy
by spectators and Johnson’s pre- and Nigerian Tommy Thompson is added "I always knew she could do
post-match breakdances have proved also a relative newcomer to the it. She’s my grandma.". The young-
entertaining to fans. However, she wrestling scene, but with his 210lb ster is also her manager and has re-
was still not expected to win in frame he was expected to fare well portedly arranged sponsorship deals
round three last Wednesday, facing against Johnson who weighs in at which will dwarf her one million dol-
off against title-holder Paulo "Spine- only 90lb. However Johnson’s lithe lar prize fund. Her new contract with
Snapper" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- and slender, some would say scrawny, headband designer Nike alone is set
derdog Johnson was soon showing her figure belies her agility and strength to earn her fourteen billion dollars
worth with stamina and agility easily which she demonstrated by holding over the next year. She will also be
matching last year’s winner. Lutti’s Thompson above her head several promoting Tupperware, Halliburton,
experience paid off initially as he took times during the bout and throwing the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala
the first two rounds, but as John- him into the crowd once. With the Bingo. Her continued participation in
son became more confident her su- scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the the sport is not assured as she wants
perior strength came to the fore and contest went to a panel of judges to be to spend more time on her bungee-
she clawed back two rounds to take assessed. They awarded Thompson a jumping business, and knitting. Ev-
the contest into a decider. By this C grade whilst Johnson received an eryone here at the World Champi-
time Lutti’s body language indicated A, becoming the first grandmother to onships, however, hopes for her re-
that he already felt overawed by the ever win the title. turn.
pretender to his crown, and the new- The new champion explained her