UNDERSTANDING COHABITATION AS A PHENOMENON

An Undergraduate Thesis

presented to The Faculty of Liberal Arts Program

Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Colleges – Marbel, Inc.

Koronadal City

In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree

Bachelor of Arts in Sociology

CARA KENDRA S. CALMITA

APRIL 2022
 ii

Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Colleges-Marbel, Inc.

Prk. Waling-waling, Lower Arellano St, Brgy. Zone II, Koronadal City
Tel./Fax.No.: (083)228-2880/228-6392
LIBERAL ARTS DEPARTMENT

APPROVAL SHEET

This undergraduate research entitled “UNDERSTANDING COHABITATION AS

A PHENOMENON” prepared and submitted by Cara Kendra S. Calmita in partial
fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Bachelor of Arts in Sociology, has been
examined, and is hereby endorse for acceptance and approval.

ALBERT P. BALONGOY, PhD.

Adviser
________________________________________________________________
PANEL OF EXAMINERS
Approved by the Committee on Oral Examination. __________.

Arville V. Setanos, MAEd

Chairman

NIKKA B. NADON DANNA MAE M. ALIM

Member Member

Accepted and approved in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the

requirement for the degree of Bachelor of Arts in Sociology.

RHODELINE O. PAJARILLO,EdD
Liberal Arts Program Director

APRIL 2022
 iii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

This paper is a product of hard work, money and time. With grateful hearts, the

researcher wanted to acknowledge the following;

First, to the vice president of the school and research adviser Albert P.

Balongoy, Ph.D. the researcher owed gratefulness for the learnings and spent

time and effort for the success of the paper. For the patience and understanding

and for the encouragement and moral support for the researcher’s best outcome.

To the parents of the researcher, Mrs. Lyn lee Calmita and Mr.

Reynaldo B. Calmita for the unconditional moral and financial support for the

completion of the study.

To Arville V. Setanos, Danna Mae Alim and Nikka Nadon, the expert

validators and panel of research, for the time and effort in checking and

correcting for the progress of the study.

To Julius Flores who helped the researcher with kindness and patience

for the success establishment of the study.

To Jimmy C. Sancho, Barangay Captain of Liwanay,Banga, for

supporting and authorizing the researcher to conduct a survey with their

subordinates, the Center-based Social Workers.

To the Participants of the study, the researcher is grateful for the

permission disclose their life experiences, their cooperation and honest

responses that made the study possible.

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ABSTRACT

The exploratory and interpretative research carried out for this thesis is on

understanding cohabitation as a phenomenon. The pieces of evidence gathered were

conducted January this year (2022).

In this study, the method used was descriptive qualitative design to

thoroughly understand the experiences of cohabiting couples from their reasons,
benefits up to their challenges and their means of resorting to this status quo, the
reasons and aptness of couples in such cases, and how many are capable of breaking
through pre-marital exercises. The data was collected using the Key Informant Interview
(KII). Furthermore, in analyzing the study, Colaizzi (2004) considered by Moustakas
(1994) and Groenewald (2004) was used. The participants were identified based on the
criteria made by the researcher.

The gathered pieces of evidence from the correspondents indicate multiple

reasons with various philosophies and theories connected to sociology. Philosophies
and theories such as the Philosophy of money define as behavior in money and
intelligence connection to couples' financial capability, intimacy theory defines the
process of attachment and love connection to partners' affection for each other, In
differential-association theory; theory of deviance defines as behavior from the social
norms connected to the commonality of marriage.

The result of the study revealed that the main reasons of living together and not

getting married is because of financial incapability, emotional attachment and

unavoidable responsibility. Benefits that was distinguish in having a cohabiting partner

are having someone to lean on, their hearts and mind become one and a change of

perspective in life and in relationships. Challenges determine in their relationships are

having an easy escape, money matters, outside the inner circle, half-hearted love and

cat and mouse game.

 Lastly, this research, as an exploratory by nature, additional application will help

recipients understand their situation and the probability of changing their status quo. In

which case, it could deliver a monumental help for them moving forward as a couple.

Furthermore, researchers with a desire to expand the research in implication could

reiterate the theories and philosophies provided in this research. In this way, the use of

this research could benefit the recipients for their understanding and decisions in their

relationship.

Keywords: Cohabitation, Phenomenon

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Content Page
Title Page i
Approval Sheet ii
Acknowledgement iii
Abstract iv
Table of Contents v
List of Tables vi
List of Figures vii
Dedication viii
CHAPTER

I INTRODUCTION
Purpose of the Study 1-2
Research Questions 3
Theoretical Lens 3-5
Significance of the Study 5-7
Delimitations and Limitations 7
Definition of Terms 8
Organization of the Study 9
II REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE AND STUDIES
III METHODOLOGY
Research Design 16-17
Role of the Researcher 18-19
Research Participants 19-20
 Data Collection 20
Analysis of Data 21-22
Trustworthiness 22-23
Ethical Consideration 24
IV RESULT AND DISCUSSION
Participants
Categorization of Data 25
Q1 26-30
Q2 31-42
Q3 43-51
V DISCUSSION
Result 1 52-53
Result 2 53-55
Result 3 55-56
Implication for Practice 57-60
Implication for Future Research 60-61
Concluding Remarks 61-62
REFERENCES
APPENDICES
A Cover Letter
B Sample Informed Consent Form
C Interview Guide
D Request Letter to the Validator
E Validation Sheets for Interview Guide
F Summary of the Validation Ratings
G Participant Verification
H Peer Debriefing Certification
I Archival Log
J Letter Asking Permission
K Letter Reply
L Certificate of Publication
M Certificate of Appearance
N (Plagiarism Checker) Result
O Editor’s Certification

CURRICULUM VITAE
 vi
3.
LIST OF TABLES

Table Page

1. Reasons of why participants cohabit 26

2. Perceived benefits of cohabitation to the participants 31

Challenges encounter by the cohabiting couples 43
 vii
LIST OF FIGURES
Figures Page
Organization of the Study 9
Research Design Matrix 17
 viii
DEDICATION

To the researcher’s classmates, whose efforts and focus challenged and

inspired her to pursue this manuscript. As well as to her fellow friends who

showed their efforts and moral support.

And finally, to God the Almighty for the love, strength, protection, wisdom,

and guidance he favored upon the making of this research. This study was made

possible mainly because of Him.

“To God Be All the Glory!”

CARA KENDRA S. CALMITA

 1

PURPOSE OF THE STUDY

Introduction

Cohabitation is a trend constantly growing in today’s society, it’s a widely

spread issue that is rarely studied. Cohabitation is define as a couple living

together but not legally married, in most cases cohabitation involves sharing and

living under, or similar condition as a married couple, it is a perceiving stepping

stone to marriage by modern generation. According to Chinwuba (2010)

cohabitation means a man and woman usually, in the same age bracket, living

together as though they were husband and wife.

Cohabitation context is understood as acting according to important norms

about intimate relationships, a way of dealing with the complexity of attitudes

towards love and relationships in the late modernity. Syltevick (2010) added that

living together outside marriage makes it possible for couples to be sensible. As

well as living together when they want to develop a relationship as in love. There

are many forms of family such as single parent family, previous annulled family,

same sex family which adapts cohabitation as a new family form.

People who cohabit before marriage are often discriminated for not

following traditional practices. Kuang (2016) added that in the Filipino context,

cohabitation is taboo, for Filipinos are conservative and are linked to old

practices or the marriage before living together. As liberalism and modernization

widen the prevalence of cohabitation started to rise in the Philippines. It shows

dramatic rise and exceptional slow change in family formations

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Youth supports the pattern observed in other developing countries that

living together or cohabitation is a 'poor man's marriage.' Filipino who are

cohabiting is more prominent in the younger age groups, particularly those in

their 20s, the cost of the actual marriage ceremony, including securing the

marriage license and other requirements. Furthermore, Filipino youth choosing

cohabitation over formal marriage include 'too young' to formally marry, parents

did not allow marriage (Abalos, 2021).

The study is qualitative research, allowing for in-depth and further probing

and questioning of participants based on their responses, wherein the

interviewer/researcher would understand the participants’ sense of means of

living together in a sexual relationship without marriage that vary the degree of

physical and emotional interaction that can influence future relationship goals

and can help derive conclusions about cohabitation through interview. Moreover,

this study focuses on participants’ qualitative experience and perception of

cohabitating couples, the researcher would know the challenges, reason and

benefits for cohabiting. Therefore, qualitative is suitable to use in this study.

The researcher is motivated to study cohabitation out of curiosity and that

cohabitation is a widely spread issue that is rarely noticed and not broadly

studied. Personally, the researcher chose this topic to broaden her knowledge

and understanding about this phenomenon, to know their experiences, and how

does it benefits in their personality, perspectives and behavior, to also determine

the challenges that they encountered in the said relationship.

 3

Research Questions

This study aimed to find out why most people choose cohabitation first

before marriage.

Specifically, the researchers sought to answer the following questions:

1. What are the underlying reasons why participants cohabit?

2. What are the benefits brought by cohabitation to the participants?

3. What challenges cohabiting couples encounter?

Theoretical Lens

In this part, it presents the explanation of variables, concepts and theories

that is related to the study.

People who want to experience what being in a relationship truly is, tend to

live under one roof and be more familiar with one-another. Couples are on the right

path to set a committed relationship where the discussion about marriage is

considered as the next step. However, many people doubt the fact as to live or

not together with their future. Therefore, living together will ensure the couple

whether or not they can get along in the future. Those people consider pre-

cohabitation as an effective way to prepare themselves for being a family.

Cohabitation involved intimacy or intimate relationship in another

individual, intimacy theory created by Dr. Sternberg also known as triangular

theory of love (1986), it suggests that people can have varying degrees of

intimacy, passion, and commitment at any one moment in time. Intimacy define

as a sense of closeness between individuals that have reciprocal feelings and

 4

are able to openly communicate their thoughts and emotions with each other. In

relation, in this study, it is a two people living together because of their fondness

and inclination with each other, their love and affection, love is one reason why

people cohabit, they wanted to be with each other all the time and cohabitation is

“convenience” to test their love and relationship for marriage.

Philosophy of money (1900) explained by George Simmel that, Humans

are becoming like money, indistinguishable in number; independent and flexible

at the cost of the loss of a fixed and specific identity. Just as the values lost their

individual quality and character to be abstracted into the pure, quantified form of

money. In this study cohabiting couples find themselves removed from the

particularizing bonds of their specific work and lifestyle as the value of those

things is expressed in neutral cash. To be clear, this is not an effect of capitalism,

but an effect of trade economy. In this new generation where money matters and

called essential, some couples choose cohabitation for it can make matters

easier, less acrimonious, some couples who experience poverty cannot afford to

get married, it lowers the risk of arguing or splitting up due to financial matters

and doesn’t require legal action to resolve any disputes. It could save money as

a cohabitation agreement could help you avoid the need for legal action.

According to the sociological theories of deviance (1938) founded by

Robert K. Merton. which is the differential-association theory, according to this

theory, the environment plays a major role in deciding which norms people learn

to violate. Specifically, people within a particular reference group provide norms

of conformity and deviance, and thus heavily influence the way other people look
 5

at the world, including how they react. People also learn their norms from various

socializing agents (parents, teachers, ministers, family, friends, co-workers, and

the media). In short, people learn criminal behavior, like other behaviors, from

their interactions with others, especially in intimate groups. In this study

cohabitation is considered as taboo especially in feudal society and as regarded

with disgust and horror, which contradict to their culture and beliefs. People

would point fingers and say that it disrespects the sanctity of marriage but as

time goes by Filipinos are slowly started to become more open-minded about

changing norms for the inclusivity of all.

Significance of the Study

This study aimed to explain a wide range of explanatory perspective as to

why people choose to cohabit before marriage and thoroughly explore and

understand about cohabitation, share their experiences and perceptions while in

the said state, the benefits of cohabiting and the reasons and challenges they

encounter.

The result of the study gives significant benefits to the community

members, parents, students, men, women, cohabitant couples, researcher and

future researchers.

Community Members. This study will help the community to deeply

understand what is cohabitation and the benefits of it. This will enlighten the

people to be comprehensive when it comes to this social trend and give them

awareness about this changes. This will discipline the pattern of behavior of the

people towards cohabitant couples.

 6

Parents. This study will assist the parents to gain more insights about

cohabitation. It will advocate the parents to know the cause of cohabitation and to

give their children proper care and education about the right way in marital

process.

Students. It will help them to think about the issue of cohabitation and its

impact on their well-being. It will guide them to their future decision and life-

choices if they come across this circumstances. It will provide learning on their

sexual initiations and will avoid them to form poor choices.

Men. It will guide them and give them intellect about roles, obligations,

and responsibilities when wanted to commit in cohabitation. It will exert a positive

influence on their role specifications. It will expand their social network and

contribute to embeddedness that will provide sense of order that is important for

well-being.

Women. This study will give them knowledge about the possible position

and situation they will be in when they commit in cohabitation. It will let them

foresee in building life skills separate from family and friends. Decrease their

fragility to considerable health for better integrity in mental health, physical well-

being and interpersonal relationship.

Cohabitant Couples. This can provide intelligence to the cohabitant

couples in terms of decision making if they can handle married life. This study

will help the cohabitant couples to answer if living together agreement outlines

the rights and obligations of each partner towards each other. Couples may

explore their own expectations about cohabitation as well as how cohabitation

 7

may or may not change their relationships and influence future relationship goals,

how cohabitation may might affect their commitment levels, plans for the future,

and power dynamics.

Researcher. It can greatly improve the knowledge about this issue. It can

widen the mind of researcher about this and most especially it answers the

curiosity of the researcher about this certain problem. This will serve as a training

ground for the researcher to have actual experience in seeking solutions for the

problem. This will enhance and develop also her critical thinking perspective.

Future Researchers. It will provide additional literature and additional

information. This could also be used by them as a basis for their research

studies. This will give them some ideas to be used in seeking answers for their

research.

Delimitations and Limitations

This study manifests the experience and perception of couples in

cohabitation. It will explore and discuss their reasons of choosing cohabitation,

the benefits of cohabitation and the challenges they encountered in their journey

together. There are 3 (male/female) participants from the age of 20-60 years old

in Barrio 1, Liwanay, Banga South Cotabato.

This study used descriptive qualitative research design. It was conducted

in the second semester of the academic year 2021-2022. In the gathering of

data, the researcher used in-depth interview. The data analysis was based on
 8

the study of Colaizzi (1978), considered by Moustakas (1994) and Groenewald

(2004).

Definition of Terms

For the purpose of clarification, the term use in this study have been

defined operationally. The following terms are:

Cohabitation. This refers to as an issue that is rampant in the society

where couples are living together without marriage specifically present in

Barangay Liwanay, Banga, South Cotabato, that will explain how their mental,

emotional, social, and moral aspects change through their experiences and

perception of being in cohabitation.

Cohabiting. This refers to a couple living together in Barangay Liwanay,

Banga, South Cotabato in one household but are not legally married and do not

have the same legal protection not like married couples.

Benefits. This refers to something that produces good or helpful results or

effects that profits to emotional, mental and physical aspect of a person’s well-

being, associated to cohabiting couples in Barangay Liwanay, Banga, South

Cotabato.

Challenges. This refers to something that needs a great mental or

physical effort to test a person’s ability. A demand to explain, justify or difficulty in

an undertaking that is stimulating.

Reason. This refers to a statement to form conclusion from facts or

premise of beliefs. A sufficient explanation and justification of an action.

 9

Marriage. This refers to two individuals that unites their lives legally,

economically, and emotionally. The contractual marriage agreement usually

implies that the couples has legal obligations to each other throughout their live.

Organization of the Study

Chapter I
Purpose of the Study

Chapter II
Review of Related Literature
and Studies

Chapter III
Methodology

Chapter IV
Results

Chapter V
Discussions
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CHAPTER II

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE AND STUDIES

This chapter presents the review of literature related to cohabitation before

marriage, as well as the technical materials that discussed qualitative research,

particularly descriptive qualitative study.

Reasons for Cohabitation

Little research has examined individuals’ own reasons for cohabiting and

how those reasons may be related to how they describe themselves and their

relationships. The reasons why people choose to cohabit first are according to

Stanley et al., 2016) suggested that such a slide into cohabitation may put

couples at risk for later distress because they lack a foundation of mutual

commitment. Furthermore, the study of reasons people gives for marrying

provides a useful framework transitions into cohabitation. Some couples practice

cohabitation as a trial period before marriage, while others may see it as a

substitute to marriage.

Countries support cohabitation to varying degrees through policies; thus

the policy environment may either influence couples’ decisions to cohabit or

alternately, policies may be put in place in response to existing practices

(Gassen 2012). Sigle Rushton (2012) added that Cohabitation and nontraditional
 11

family forms may be adopted by the educated and liberal elite as forerunners of

social change or they may be coping strategies of the less privileged in response

to economic stress or instability. This distinction fits with commitment theories

that differentiate an intrinsic desire to maintain one’s relationship from

constraining forces that increase the cost of leaving thereby encouraging

relationship continuance.

Most marriages today are preceded by cohabitation. A large proportion of

young adult’s view cohabitation as a good way to test the relationship prior to

marriage or as a developmental step toward marriage. The rapid increase in

cohabitation continues to occur without adequate scholarly attention to the

sources of influence that support such growing levels. both theoretical and

empirical work suggests that social context determines the acceptability of

cohabitation and subsequent cohabitation decisions (Arnett 2010). Individuals

are influenced by social context such as peers, social media influencers,

vloggers and family relatives throughout adulthood, this influences can be a key

factor for individual in deciding to commit in cohabitation and shape their

attitudes towards cohabitation. For some, cohabitation is becoming viewed as an

acceptable alternative to marriage (Bumpass et al., 2010).

In the Philippines expenses associated with the marriage license and the

ceremony in conjunction with the practice of “donating “to the church for the

conduct of the wedding ceremony. Some church requires a minimum amount of

this “donations” that is quite high and out of reach for the poor (Medina 2017).

Furthermore, spending time together as a reason for cohabitation was linked

 12

with greater commitment and satisfaction and lower ambivalence and conflict,

even when cohabiters reported lower satisfaction with sacrifices. Testing the

relationship as a reason for cohabitation was linked with more ambivalence

regardless of the level of satisfaction with sacrifices. Finally, on convenience as

a reason for cohabitation was linked with lower commitment, including when

cohabiters reported lower satisfaction with sacrifices (Arroyo 2014).

Moreover, People tend to live in because they are afraid of getting

married. Jean t. Balo (2014) observed that people who engage in live-in think

that in this kind of relationship they will try out if their relationship will last longer

and after that they will decide if they married soon. Elopement or ‘tanan’ refers

to a “run-away love match” where a couple leave their respective family homes

to cohabit without parental approval, in order to force their parents’ acceptance

of the match. (Williams et al. 2017).

Benefits of Cohabitation

On an intuitive level, it would seem to make sense that couples who had

already tried out the proposition of living together, and intimately tested their

compatibility, would be able to make a better-informed decision as to whether or

not to get hitched, and would thus have a more solid and successful marriage.

Also, it may be the case that the positive benefit of getting to know all of a

partner’s lifestyle quirks during a period of non-marital cohabitation, are balanced

out by the negative relational habits picked up during that time (Brett et al, 2017).
 13

cohabitation is a mutual understanding between two people, they can

easily break their commitment at whatever time they need. They are not lawfully

bound to live together until the end of time. They don't have to visit courts to get

separated legally. Rafiq (2020) surmise that cohabitation is an easy and shoddy

approach to enjoy your life with your life partner without performing any

matrimonial ceremonies. They think that marriage costs a lot of money, while

cohabitation costs you nothing.

Mckweon (2012) said that cohabitation usually covers the financial

aspects of your relationship while the parties are living together, and sets out

who gets what if the relationship ends. This can include any property you own or

rent, your financial split of household bills and expenses, and what happens to

jointly owned property. Being able to combine household bills and making a

single rent or mortgage payment makes sense to couples who want to save

money or pay bills off before they get married (William 2016). Older couples

may also choose not to marry so they are able to apply for public assistance,

such as Medical, in order to pay for medical bills without burdening their partner.

Research of Brien et al., (2016) show that the lower cost of separation

makes co-residential relationships attractive for couples, cohabitation also allows

the partners to benefit from living together, without the requirement to face legal

separation costs in the event of negative match specific shocks. In addition,

marriage makes future separation costlier, and this enables the agents to fully

specialize (Ahu., 2010).

 14

One of the most common reasons older couples are choosing to

cohabitate rather than marry is to avoid joint liability that debt can bring.

(Williams 2016). By having a cohabitation agreement, it can make matters

easier and less acrimonious. Lowers the risk of arguing or splitting up due to

financial matters and doesn’t require legal action to resolve any disputes. It

could save you money as a cohabitation agreement could help you avoid the

need for legal action (Wilson 2018).

Nevertheless, In the Philippines, one type of cohabitation is the

consensual marriage arrangement which is a more or less permanent

relationship, the main motive of which is presumably the avoidance of the

expense. Study says they normally raise children and carry on with have legal

family without anyone even suspecting that there is no legal marriage. Couples

who have legal impediments to marry, may also resort to such consensual union

or common-laws relationships (Magnetico et al. 2014). To avoid conflict or

problems in terms of properties and other aspects common law marriage is

implemented, it is a real and legal. this is governed by Article 147 of the Family

Code, it is stated that there will be a rule of co-ownership to any property that has

been acquired through union of their joint effort.

Challenges of Cohabitant Couples

The challenges facing cohabiting couples are often quite different from

those of their married counterparts. Cohabitation has become increasingly

popular in sophisticated society, where it may be caused by a lack of religious

 15

conviction, a search for new forms of life-style and rejection of traditional values,

unequal taxation, or the inability of one or both parties to obtain a divorce or

dissolution of a previous marriage; a state of cohabitation may be imposed on an

otherwise married couple because of the non-validity of their marriage or the

non-validity of previous divorce (John, M 2018). In Addition, Cohabiting couples

report lower levels of satisfaction in the relationship than married couples.

Women are more likely to be abused by a cohabiting boyfriend than a husband.

Cohabitation is not easy under any circumstances; it poses a huge

challenge for anyone. There are many possibilities that come with sharing a living

space with another, for example, it could lead to a strengthened relationship built

on affection and support, or maybe it could lead to the disintegration of a

relationship as a result from disagreement and frustration. Rodriguez (2017) said

that either way, cohabitation is often a huge challenge at different levels. People

who live together, whether they like each other or not, have to exercise different

“psychological muscles” to prevent the end to a relationship.

Many people imagine that living together before marriage resembles

taking a car for a test drive. The “trial period” gives people a chance to discover

whether they are compatible. This analogy seems so compelling that people are

unable to interpret the mountains of data to the contrary. Here’s the problem with

the car analogy: the car doesn’t have hurt feelings if the driver dumps it back at

the used car lot and decides not to buy it. The analogy works great if you picture

yourself as the driver. It stinks if you picture yourself as the car.

 16

The contract or consent approach doesn’t really help much either. Living

together is fine as long as both people agree to it. The agreement amounts to

this: “I am willing to let you use me as if I were a commodity, as long as you allow

me to treat you as if you were a commodity.” But this is a bogus agreement. We

can say at the outset that we agree to be the “man of steel”, but no one can

credibly promise to have no feelings of remorse if the relationship fails (Morse

2010).

CHAPTER III

METHODOLOGY

This chapter explain the research design, locale of the study, participants

of the study, research instrument, data gathering procedure, interview protocol,

data analysis and ethical considerations.

Research Design

The study used descriptive qualitative research design. It is define as a

study that systematically attempts to describe a situation, problems and

phenomenon that provide information about the living condition of the community

and describes attitudes towards an issue. To uncover this complexity, we need

to not only examine how learning takes place in general or what factors affect it,

but also provide more in-depth examination and understanding of individual

learners and their behaviors and experiences. The goal of descriptive research is

to describe a phenomenon and its characteristics. This research is more

concerned about the reasons, benefits and challenges of cohabitant couples.

 17

Understanding Cohabitation as a
The study Phenomenon

Barangay Liwanay, Banga, South

Locale of the Study Cotabato

Cohabiting Couples from

Barangay Liwanay, Banga, South
Participants
Cotabato

Data Gathering procedure Key Informant Interview (KII)

Instrument used Interview Guide

Asking Permission
Data Processing and (Barangay Chairman)
Analysis

Entering the Field

Transcribing the Data
Gathered

Coding the Data Gathered Key Informant Interview (KII)

 18

Clustering of Themes

Drawing out of Emergent

Themes

Analyzing Implications

Figure 1. Research Design Matrix

Role of the Researcher

The role of the researcher is an important matter to be considered to have

a successful investigation to extract information from any social phenomena. In

this study the researcher is highly inclined and qualified to pursue this

investigation because the researcher wanted to understand, to know the

experiences, the reasons and challenges of cohabiting couples. The researcher

wanted to know what they perceive through their experiences within their frame

of references. Besides, the researcher possesses some abilities and aptitude in

writing, keen observation and great interest in this study.

With regards to basic roles, the researcher followed the principles which

states that qualitative inquiry is for the researcher who is willing to commit

extensive time to collect data, engage in data analysis, does reflexivity, and write

long passages by themselves. Hence, played many roles as a researcher such

as interviewer, transcriber, translator, analyst, and encoder. As an interviewer,

the researcher first established rapport and friendship with the participants. The
 19

researcher called all the informants through the help of gatekeepers for some

introductions, and asked them if they are willing to participate in the study.

As an interviewer, the researcher used personal empathy to make the

participants feel more willing to tell their stories. During the interview and

observation, the researcher applied some techniques like: asking probing

questions, then listening and thinking, then asking more probing questions to get

to deeper levels of the conversation. As a transcriber and encoder, the

researcher transcribed all the records and interviews, and translated correctly

and organized them into standard English statements. Lastly, as an analyst, the

research employ suitable analysis methods and procedures fitted for a qualitative

research.

Research Participants

The participants of the study are 3 (male/female) cohabiting couples at the

age of 25-60 years old that are the official residence of Barangay Liwanay, the

participants were chosen based on the following criteria: First, they are a couple

currently living together and not married, Second, they are willingly express

themselves to know their experience and perception about cohabitation and third,

they are living together for 10 years and above. Presented below are the profiles

of the participants.

Toto (30) living in Liwanay, Banga South Cotabato, has one daughter and

two boys with her first husband. He met his boyfriend Eric in their common friend

while working as a manicurista. Rose worked to provide for her childrens need
 20

after her first husband left her, after 2 years of being together they decided to

cohabit. Toto and Eric’s relationship started to struggle when he found out that

Eric has someone else and pregnant, they got a lot of fight, this mistake awaken

Eric and ask forgiveness of Toto. They never broke up but they are just angry

with each other. Eric wanted to save their relationship so she courted her again

and gain her trust and love again. With those challenges it strengthens their love

and trust with each other and now they are 10 years of being together.

Irene, (26), working as washing laundry other people in the barangay

Liwanay Banga South Cotabato. He met Ryan, (26), in their early years they

dated and Irene got pregnant at 16. Mother of Irene decided that they should live

together and create their own family, because of an early age they experience

financial incapability. It worsens when their second child died, Ryan got depress

and decline working. Irene don’t want to suffer anymore leaving Ryan and goes

back to her mom’s house. In the end Ryan realize that he cannot live without his

family so he promises Irene to start a new life, by working hard to provide for

their family. Despite this suffering they still stayed with each other and live

happily in their 10 years of being together even though they are surviving in

poverty.

Judy, (39). A farmer and a caretaker of his brother’s land. At the age of 30,

he met Lisa (35 ), who became his girlfriend and after dating together for 1 year,

they decided to cohabit and build their own home. Judy works so hard so he can

put something at their table and Lisa only stays at their house to take care of

their children and serve his husband. Poverty is always present; their money is
 21

only enough for their daily food. They have 2 children named Reenie and Jose

and they are now living together for 15 years. Despite those sufferings, they

always pray that the above will guide them on the journey of their lives.

Data Collection

Permission to conduct the research is first requested in the Barangay

Liwanay, upon the barangay captain’s approval. Second, the respective couples

received a request letter together with the barangay captain’s approval to

conduct the data gathering. Third, the letter was accompanied with a letter of

“Informed Consent and Agreement Form” that will be given individually to them

which contains the agreement between the researcher and the participants and

contained the details of their personal profile, research procedure, and ethical

considerations in the study. Fourth, the researcher personally conducted the

interview of the key informants and facilitates the Key Informant Interview (KII)

sessions. With her are pen, paper, and audio recorder to document the session,

also, the interviewer established affinity that was important to gain trust and

assure confidentiality.

Their lived experiences were categorized in their descriptions of their

reasons, the challenges they encounter, their understanding of their

responsibilities and obligations, and the benefits they acquire starting from their

personal, mental and emotional development while in the said situations. The

researcher then recorded in the exit interview data that include the specific, date

the time it started and ended, this was done to track the duration of the interview.
 22

Analysis of Data

Descriptive Qualitative Research Design was used in this study to relate

two methods of the data analysis by Colaizzi (1976) and Moustakas (1994). The

methods used the data by reduction of information.

After the interview, the data gathered were transcribed. All the transcribed

interviews were presented to the participants for them to validate.

Methods Introduced by Colaizzi and Moustakas were utilized in analyzing

data from the transcribed answer during the interview of the participant’s

descriptions of their lived experiences. The interview transcriptions were coded

and determined the lines of significant statements. Moustakas (1994) quoted and

combined themes or textural descriptions which answered the question as regard

what the participants have experienced. Themes were regrouped to draw cluster

themes Colaizzi (1976) which Moustakas (1994). These cluster themes

answered how they experienced the conditions, situations, or context. Finally, the

emergent themes which are the combinations of textural and structural

descriptions (Moustakas 1994) were drawn. This revealed the essence of the

lived experiences of cohabitant couples. The emergent themes were the basis for

discussion and recommendation of the study. Referrals of emergent themes to

participants were also done to validate the data.

Trustworthiness
 23

Is an important concept because it allows the researcher to describe the

virtues of qualitative Lincoln and Guba (1982) introduce the four tenets of

trustworthiness that will act as criteria for the accuracy of the research study,

data and findings. it includes credibility, confirmability, transferability, and

dependability. It is the most common ways to understand the means of

establishing validity of trustworthiness.

The credibility is defined as congruent in finding the reality. It refers to the

confidence in the truth of the findings. In the study, the researcher spends more

time in the field, rendered more time with their research participants to fully

understand their situations and to improves the trust of the participants

that will provides a greater understanding of their culture and context.

Confirmability refers to the degree of neutrality in the research study

finding. In this study, the researcher asked probing questions related to their

experiences and perception of being in cohabitation, the investigator document

the procedures for checking and rechecking the data during the entire research.

The researcher actively searches for and describe and negative instances that

contradict prior observations. And, after the study, one can conduct a data

audit that examines the data collection and analysis procedures and makes

judgements about the potential for bias or distortion.

In transferability, describes the process of applying the results of research

in one situation to other similar situations. In this section, the researcher

established a practical working definition of transferability as it applied within and

outside of academic research. In this study, the researcher allows audience to

 24

have a proper understanding of it, thus enabling them to compare the instances

of the phenomenon explained in the research document with those that they

have seen emerge in their situations.

Dependability, is based on the assumption of replicability or repeatability.

Essentially it is concerned with whether the researcher would obtain the same

results if the investigator could observe the same thing twice. In this study, the

researchers aim to verify that the findings are consistent with the raw data

collected. It wants to make sure that if some other researchers were to look over

the data, they would arrive at similar findings, interpretations, and conclusions

about the data. This is important to make sure that there was not anything

missed in the research study, or that the researcher will not be sloppy or

misguided in his or her final report.

In this study, it will help the readers to know if the interpretation of data is

audible and will help to describes events such that the reader can feel that they

experience the events described. The researcher was able to gain insights into

the context of the study, which minimize the distortions of information that might

arise due to the presence of the researcher in the field.

Ethical Consideration

The researcher should respect the wants and needs of participants before

and after the interview, the interviewee should explain the flow of the interview

and consider the things that the participants want to change in the interview

session. The researcher should not force the participants to do or say something
 25

if they don’t want to and should show and observe good behavior and manners

towards the participant and respect their decisions.

CHAPTER IV

RESULTS

In this part of the study the themes were presented from the analysis of

the responses during the conduct of the key informant interviews (KII). In

identifying the themes, the researcher transcribed the audio version of the

interview. From the transcript of the interviews and significant statements were

extracted. These were utilized in the response to the main research questions on

the experiences of cohabiting couples in Barangay, Liwanay, Banga, South

Cotabato.

Since there were several significant statements in the study, caution was

done to ensure that the statements were relevant to the studied phenomenon.
 26

The organization of the discussion in this chapter is based on the themes which

significantly answered the research questions.

I. The Lived-Experiences of the Student Leaders

A. What are the underlying reasons why participants cohabit?

Table 1 presents the underlying reasons on cohabitation of unmarried

couples.

Clustered Themes Formulated Meanings

1.1 Financial inadequacy for  Financial incapability

marriage  Pandemic crisis
 Level of engagement are the
1.2 Emotional Attachment same to married couples.
 Love for partner
 Propose rapport
1.3 Unavoidable Responsibility  Pregnant at an early age
 Having a child.
Table 1 Reasons of why participants cohabit

1.1 Financial Inadequacy for Marriage

This study was able to perceive the participants underlying reason of why

they choose to cohabit, first of all, finances is one of the biggest contributory

factors as to why people stay in cohabitation. This study was able to identify two

levels of reasons under the umbrella of financial challenges. For one, participants
 27

stated that financial incapability is one aspect that was taken into consideration

as to why they cannot get married.

“oo, tungod man gid sa kapigadohan di mo siya ma kwanan

makapakasal gid… amo na siya” (Irene:P2I15-19)

( yes, due to poverty we can’t get married… that’s why.)

“Ng… kuwan abi sang una.. pag opod namon ni auntie mo.. ng
wala pagid ano nga magpakasal.. kay pigado gid kami sang una.”
(Judy:P3I29)

(uhmm…at first, when your auntie and I were together we don’t

have plan to get married because we don’t have financial
capability)

Moreover, this pandemic was also affecting the finances of the participants.

With respect to their current state when it comes to financial status, their priorities

are mainly to provide for the basic needs of the family. Hence, the idea and the

plan of marriage is out of the picture.

“Kag pigado gid abi , pandemic pagid .. subong ti amo na nga daw
na pundo anay kay mas unahon ang mga mag importante.”
(Toto:P1I83-85)

(It was rough and it’s in the middle of pandemic… and now we
halted that plan, we focus on necessities)

1.2 Emotional Attachment

 28

Secondly, emotional attachment is ascribed by the participants as a

reason for cohabitation divided into four areas. First, participants stated that

even though they are not legally married they still treat each other as husband

and wife. They stated that their engagement with each other, their feelings that

they express, their commitment and their level of integration are the same as

married couples. They also express that their sacrifices, time and effort poured

in the relationship acts as also their reason for relationship stability.

“so… amo na. Kag daw mag- asawa gid kami ah.. wala niya man
gina pa feel sa akon nga amo indi kami kasal.. gina pa batyag niya
sa akon nga daw kasal gid kami, nga daw mag asawa gid ah daw
amo bala na haw.” (Toto:P1I47-50)

(so… just like that. And he never let me feel that were not
married... he always let me feel that were like happily married, like
we are husband and wife)

“Kag bal an niya mana ang sakripisyo ko sa iya ang time kag effort
nga gin buhos namon sa isa’t-isa alangan naman sayangon lng.”
(Toto:P1I158-159)

(and he knows the sacrifices and time and effort that we lend to
each other, we can’ just waste it)

Also, love for their partner as a reason for entering cohabitation. Blended

families have become more common over the past years, especially to

cohabiting couples who came from previous marriages. Participants added that

children are also the reason for entering in cohabitation, it revealed that their

partner has a good relationship building with the children. Also, they express that
 29

the reason they have been attached is because of how their partner handles their

approach in parenting communication.

“Oo , nahulog man ang bo-ot ko sa iya kay palangga niya man ang
akon mga kabataan amo lng na—gina ano ko nga magka partner
ko dapat palanggaon lng gid niya ang ako mga bata. So.. amo to
daw nanamian man ko sa iya kay palangga niya man akon mga
bata pati mga apo ko, ti amo to nga daw nag go man ko sa iya, kay
daw nakita ko man nga daw mayo man siya.” (Toto:P1I125-129)

(yes… I fell for him because he was a nice guy and he loves my
children, that’s why- I was wishing that I could find someone who
could love me and my children and my grandchildren. So… that’s
how I fell for him because he fit to my description, that’s why I fully
commit to him because I saw how good he is)

In addition, proposing rapport where there is someone to be with,

someone to talk with and someone to call as a partner in life. Participants also

emphasize that companionship as the deep reason for entering cohabitation, just

to have someone to be with, someone to grow old with.

“Ti akon ya.. daw ano lang man akon ya daw companionship.”
(Toto:P1I29)

( for me…I just want companionship.)

“kay ang sa akon nga nag live-in ko kay para daw companionship
lng bala.. nga daw para may partner man ko, nga may opod ako sa
balay. Kag hiwalay man to siya sa asawa niya..” (Toto:P1I118-120)

(for me the reason why I commit to a live-in relationship because I

want companionship, I just want to have a so called partner, I have
someone to live with and he is also separated from his wife.)
 30

1.3 Unavoidable Responsibility

Lastly, the inevitable challenges that turned into responsibilities were

described by the participants as factors to enter into the set-up. The prime aspect

for this is pregnant a young age as a consequence to early responsibility,

obligation that changes life choices and is quite fragile and unstable. Another

important point is participants revealed that in cohabiting relationships having a

child acts as a knot for them to be together and stay together.

“Sang time abi sato may bata naman kami. Amo tong na anhan ni
mama nga mag tagpo pa daw nga dapat mag pamilya na daw
kami. Kay 16 man ko sang nag bata ko kag gin push ni mama na
mag live- in na kami.” (Irene:P2I128-130)

(In that time, we already have a kid. That’s the time when my
mama said that we should be together and became a family. That’s
time when I’m 16, and my mama was pushing it.)

To add, another reason for participants revealed to be in a cohabiting

relationship, a child as a knot for them to be together and stay together, this is

also their way or alternative landscaping solution to be in this structure. Besides

love and having someone with you, children are also one factor why they started

to cohabit and have long term commitment in cohabitation.

“Kung gis a nga maka hambal Kaman nga nakapoy ka pero..

padayon lang gid ah para sa mga bata.” (Judy: P3I171-172)

(Sometimes I can say that I am tired but still pursuing for the
children)
 31

“Kumbaga naging assurance mo ang subang niyo nga bata, kami

na ni asta sa ulihi. Amon a ni siya gusto ko asta sa pag mal-am”
(Judy: P3I52-53)

(It’s like you’re first child acts as assurance that I want her until
we’re old.)

Moreover, there are many reasons why commitment matters in our

lives, careers and especially in our relationships. Participants added that

Children or having a child are one aspects to complete the life and goals of

couples, it acts as a knot for a long term relationship, they stick more together

over a long haul to understand.

B. What are the benefits bought by cohabitation to the participants?

Table 2 perceived benefits of cohabitation to the participants

Clustered Themes Formulated Meanings

2.1 A shoulder to lean on
2.2 Hearts and Mind become one
 Embraces characteristic of
marriage to assess the
viability of the partnership in
the long term.
 Relationship satisfaction.
 Have a network of social
support.
 Give and Take.
 Influences to healthier
behavior
 Compatibility
 Good communication
 Reflective listening
 Influences emotional and
practical decisions.
 Talking as solution-oriented
approach for conflict to
discuss.
 32

 Develop conflict resolution

skills
 Open to person’s maturity
development.
2.3 A Change of perspective  A clear vision of family
building
 Understanding their partners
point of view.

2.1 A Shoulder to Lean on

One of the benefits of a relationship is having someone to lean on,

someone to trust and a shoulder to lean on in terms of their responsibilities and

dramas in life. The study also gathers the benefits of cohabitation to the

participants. There are four particular facets under a shoulder to lean on, first is

they embraces the characteristics of marriage that helps them to make their

partnership in a long term, participants stated that they treat each other as real

husband and wife, they wanted to make their partners feel that even without

getting married they can feel the real care of love, concern and protection of

having a spouse.

“so… amo na. Kag daw mag- asawa gid kami ah.. wala niya man
gina pa feel sa akon nga amo indi kami kasal.. gina pa batyag niya
sa akon nga daw kasal gid kami,

nga daw mag asawa gid ah daw amo bala na haw.” (Toto:P1I47-
50)

(so… It feels like we are really married, he always makes me feel

like I am his wife even though were not really married) P

“Ng ano gina silbihan ko na siya, gina lutuan ko, gina sugat ko siya
halin sa . work niya gina hatag ko ang tanan ko nga sweldo sa iya
 33

amo bala na haw, kag gina pabatyag ko gid sa iya eh nga bisan
indi kami kasado gina ano ko gid nga siya lang tana asawa ko daw
amo bala na haw *smile*.” (Judy:P3I164-167)

(I made her feel I’m in service, cook for her, pick her up from work,
all my salary goes to her and I always make her feel being love
even though we’re not married, I treat her like she’s my wife.)

Secondly, relationship satisfaction, taking risks with someone that is

special without knowing ahead, giving it all for what the person feels without the

assurance of stability of a lasting relationship and mutual cooperation for

development and commitment to the future. In this way also it is like a stance in

the vow of marriage for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in

health. Participants added that they are satisfied and happy despite their

impoverishment. They express that even though there are poverty and conflict

ingredients in their relationship it keeps them going in life for their daily life

especially to their children. For them, they have found the missing puzzle in their

life, a gap that can feel up to complete each other and complete their family even

though they are not legally married.

“Hmmmm sa pag opod namon.. daw ok man sadya man kag gis a
indi taman ma deny may mga away man kag ang kapigadohon
nakaya man namon ah. Kag daw manami man nga syempre pag
bugtaw mo sa aga ang palangga mo Makita mo dayon.. mga bata
mo .. ng daw kanami man bala nga bugtaw ka kag mag muni-muni
nga may pamilya ka nga imo na kag bisna pigado kasadya man
gyapon sa amon ah *smile*” (Judy:P3I50-55)

(hmmmm as we live together, our relationship is quite okay, we

cannot deny the fact that conflicts are always present, despite of
 34

that it is so nice and good waking up in the morning and realizing

that I put up a family even though we are facing difficulties)

"oo fully committed nagid ko , ang honesty, faithfulness kag loyalty ,

e hatag ko sa iya eh syempre nagsulod ko kay gusto ko gani na
may partner man ko pero kung maghalin siya e let go ko siya eh.
Lalaki lng na amo na rason ko sa kaugalingon ko. hayaan ko lang
siya kay bal an ko man events niya. amo na nga daw ideal man ko
man siya kad ideal father para sa akon mga bata (Toto:P1I87-92)

(Yes, I am fully committed on him, my honesty, faithfulness and

loyalty are only to him, I will give everything because I entered this
relationship, but if he wants to leave me I will not stop him. It’s just
a man, I just let him do things he wants to do for I know the things
he does, and it’s fine with me and on the other hand is an ideal
man and ideal father to my children.)

Thirdly, giving and taking one of the ingredients to have a long term

commitment is security, in which couples tend to struggle with though most of us

will not find ourselves in that same position, sometimes the uncertainties of life

can leave us feeling as though we are walking a wire of our own. Participants

added that give and take in their relationship plays a big part to them for it to

compromise and show cooperation in their relationship and to also act as a

sustaining force to maintain their relationship.

“ give and take lang kung may ara ano man.. gahatag man siya di
gahatag man ko.” (Toto:P1I138-139)

(we give and take, when his giving then I do the same thing)

“Siguro mas nakilala ko siya ang nami niya ang kalain niya, daw …
mas naintindihan namon ang isa kag isa daw amo bala sina haw,
 35

may ga bulig sa akon sa mga bagay bagay, may ga tudlo sa akon

sang mga obra nga indi ko bal an pareha sinang mag panday bala
haw? Indi gid ko sina kabalo pero gin tudloan niya ko amo na
subong ako na ga panday sa mga gamit sa balay namon nga guba
kung wala siya.” (Irene: P2I177-181)

(probably, I know who he is; the bad things, his flaws, I fully know
him and there would be someone helping me to some things that I
can’t do such as doing carpentry. He taught me how to fix furniture.
At first I have no knowledge about carpentry until he taught me. No,
I can fix the furniture in the house whenever his not around)

In addition, having a network of social support especially in the midst of

their weakness and breaking down and offering freely and frequently is an entire

world to another person. Through this, it is also a benefit of broader learning

towards each other, not only while living with each other but also knowing them

from skin to soul. Participants revealed that their journey of being together they

just not have someone to share loads with but also gain some learnings from

their partners. The benefit they have gained is a partner who is willing to share

the loads they are carrying and working together to survive poverty that their

family is experiencing. will help them grow with each other, working to. A partner

that helped them in their life’s responsibilities and obligations. Giving their whole

life to them and spending their years of living to be with them.

“ Kag ang subong … grabi amon nga paningkamot kay wala kami

kan on ga buliganay kag grabi ang antos namon nga iban kay

kung indi kamo mag ano wala gid kami makaon kag nag abot man

sa oras na wala gid kami makaon. Daw mahibi nab ala ko kay pati
 36

ang bata namon naga ano na nga “ma nagutom nagid ko” ti ako

daw gin kumos man akon nga dughan eh syempre bata ko na mo

daw na anhan gid ko.”( Irene:P2I106-110)

(there is that time we are really working hard together because we

are really suffering from poverty, because if we don’t, then we have
nothing to eat. it makes me cry especially when my daughter said to
me “ma I’m really hungry” it broke my heart. Of course it pains me
because that’s my daughter)

Another theme revealed that defining the benefits of cohabitation to the

participant is also a help in terms of emotional and practical decision, where

there is someone who acts as a guide and be with you in weighing life choices

and options, where they are someone that will be with you in diving a deep ocean

of life.

“hmmm siguro.. Benefits niya manami nga may tao nga mag stick
sa imo, mag commit sa imo bisan wala kamo may gin permahan,
ng tao nga gusto nga ara sa tupad mo bisan may ara man siya
option nga bayaan ka , ng tao nga kaya ka opdan kag e shoulder
ang mga responsibilidad kag obligasyon sa kabuhi bisan wala man
ka may e balik sa iya.. daw amo bala na haw. “(Toto:P1I187-192)

(hmm maybe the benefits could be, there is someone who will stick
by your side and committed to you without legal papers being
signed, someone that would stay beside you even though he has a
choice of leaving you because of unsecured set-up, a person who
will be with you and help you shoulder responsibilities even though
you have nothing to offer back.)
 37

Lastly, cohabiting couple benefits in terms of influencing in turning in a

direction of a healthier lifestyle and behavior, their partner acts as a facilitator and

a social control in encouraging to a healthy way of living and discourages through

their partner’s coercion, bargaining and restriction, participants added that their

partner become their guidance to make right decisions and avoid or discourages

vices.

“oo, kag sang akon ano sang una…sa bisyo nga.. nga gin intrahan
sang una tin a untat nagid man. inum, sigarilyo. Amo na pasalamat
gid ko kay auntie mo kay gin buligan nia gid ako mag bag o.”
(Judy:P3I87-90)

(yes, at first… the bad habits that… I’m into at that time, It stop. The
drinking, smoking. I am thankful to your aunt because she helped
me to change)

2.2 Hearts and Mind become one

In a relationship before committing and deciding, heart and minds should

decide as one, to assume a better outcome, a better judgment and more in

critical thinking for a better understanding of feeling, idea and effect to a decision.

The participants do not have the assurance of being a couple. They live like

renters, without a commitment to become partners for life, their decisions are

influenced by their both emotional and practical agreement in coming up with the

decisions to blend their lives together by making win-win decisions that are

mutually beneficial. Participants also added that through them living together

helps them to know each other, from top to bottom, from the things they and love,
 38

it helps them to know their compatibility not only in a relationship but also testing

for being a life partner.

“kag siguro ano pagid mas nakilala namon ang isa kag isa ,kag
pamatyag ko ang benepisyo pagid kay sa mga na anhan namon
subong daw amo ni kung para gid kami sa isa kag isa.”
(Irene:P2I181-183)

(And maybe through this we are knew each other and I think it will
benefit us too. This will help us know if we are meant to be)

Hence, in the process of being in cohabitation open and clear

communication can be learnt. Participants also added that they have a different

connection such as being experts of each other, having different communication

and being able to understand each other’s wants and needs.

There is also the learning of listening to different sides for a better

understanding. They find it hard to talk and may need time and encouragement

to express their views. Participants say that good communication helps to

broadly understand the different perspectives and develop reflective listening that

influences their decisions or a better outcome of conclusion in their personal,

emotional and especially in their relationship.

“ Ng… siguro mas naintindihan ko siya, dahil sa amon nga

sitwasyon , subong mas na anhan ko nga mas mamati sa iya, ng..
mag estorya kami bala sa mga ,bagay-bagay bala nga mag plano
kami para sa amon, sa amon nga mga bata. ng.. may ara bala
sang komunikasyon haw… mas nakita ko nga ayy amo gid ni ang
life partner ko. (Judy:P3I192-196)
 39

(…Like maybe I understand her because of our situation, now… I

started to pay more attention and listen to her whenever we talked.
Things about us, our future, children... it’s like we are really
communicating and I saw the woman I want to be with that will be
my life partner.)

“ Siguro mas nakilala ko siya ang nami niya ang kalain niya, daw ..
mas naintindihan namon ang isa kag isa daw amo bala sina haw,
may ga bulig sa akon sa mga bagay bagay, may ga tudlo sa akon
sang mga obra nga indi ko bal an pareha sinang mag panday bala
haw? Indi gid ko sina kabalo pero gin tudloan niya ko amo na
subong ako na ga panday sa mga gamit sa balay namon nga guba
kung wala siya.” (Irene:P2I177-181)

(probably, I know who he is; the bad things, his flaws, I fully know
him and there would be someone helping me to some things that I
can’t do such as doing carpentry. He taught me how to fix furniture.
At first I have no knowledge about carpentry until he taught me. No,
I can fix the furniture in the house whenever his not around)

According to the participants they become each other’s diary and they

have a better sense of emotional and practical decisions influenced by the

partner. In every relationship conflict, participants added that talking as a

solution-oriented approach for conflict to discuss is a main solution for a better

perception and leads to a right path of decision. They engage in healthy

communication where the people involved are devoted to the exchange, meaning

people take turns in speaking and listening that helps them to learn how to

take care and make their relationship last.

‘Ay wala gid gha… dahil sa pag opod namon dalawa mas na anhan
namon nga mamati kag estoryahan sang mahinahon kag solbaron..
 40

amo na siguro ang amon ma anhan nga benepisyo kay tungod sina
mas nakabalo kami paano namon ma klaro ma panami ang amon
pag opod nga duwa.” (Judy:P3I204-207)

(No dear, because of cohabitating, we started to listen to each

other, to talk to solve problems that we encounter, I think that’s the
benefit to us. because of that, listening made our relationship
better.)

In this way participants also stressed that they have developed not only

understanding but also a skill in conflict resolution. Through this, they claim that

this helps them to reach a long-term commitment without marriage as others say

that it is not about the wedding or papers that are signed acts as a wall of stability

but it is how two people carry the relationship and the choices they make for their

relationship.

2.3 A Change of Perspective

Perspective taking involves more than this ability to sense other people’s

feelings, sensing what another person is thinking. In their words, perspective

taking is a cognitive aspect of empathy, linked to mentalizing and involving the

capacity to understand that others have their own perspectives, motives, and

emotions that influences their behavior. New open responsibilities and

obligations tend to grow the person’s maturity and perspectives in their new

situations. Participants added a change of perspectives in life when they enter

cohabitation, they become mature about their actions and see more
 41

responsibilities and obligations that they need to fulfill. In addition to this, they

added that they are able to realize how hard life is and the reality of being

together and living together despite not being married. Regardless of this,

knowing the best and worst of each other and being patient their love grows

together with growing each other, That is why they claim that they are still

together.

“ hmm siguro amo na siya.. naka balo siya maging ano nga tatay,
maging .mabo ot kag mas na anhan bala siya haw… mas kabalo
na siya nga daw tatay nagid siya… mas focus na siya sa amon
bala nga pamilya.” (Irene:P2I188-190)

( hmm.. he started to learn becoming a father and he is now a

father with the characteristics of a good father. He is now focus on
our family.)

“ Katoon man ko nga.. kung paano mag kutob sang panawag nga
kinabuhi. Ang pangabuhi indi gid gali dali dapat magpakasal gid
anay sila dapat manami… makatapos sila anay sang ila pag
eskwela” (Judy:P3I210-119)

(I have learned what is really the meaning of life, in this life... we

should really get marriage first; they should finish their education.)
“ Ng Ang responsibilidad ko nga ako na.. padre de pamilya nako,
ang mga…responsibilidad bala nga dapat ko na e anhon haw? E
panindigan. Tapos siguro ng mga bagay nga indi ko na mahimo
sang gina himo ko sang sultero pako daw amo bala na haw. Daw
mas na klaro sa akon nga dapat amo ni di nako mag pabaya, di
nako mag dungol kay may pamilya nako, nga mas dapat mag-isip
nako sa mga himo on ko maging practical bala ko haw kay may
gina buhi nako.( Judy:P3I98-103)
 42

(The responsibility that I am now the bread winner and a father that
I should be doing… to man up... Now, it’s clear to me that I cannot
do the things I used to do when I was a bachelor. It is clear to me
that my responsibility as a father is my priority, I can’t afford to
Segway into petty things because I have a family, that I should be
more diligent and practical in my ways of life.)

Also, a part of maturity in a relationship is fulfilling promises for

assertiveness of forgiveness, proving of changing and developing a knack for

sidestepping resentment and focusing on the good they see in one another.

Participants state that they have evolved to a higher level of understanding, they

are now more family centered, they create and plan for their family building. In

addition, they also state they accept forgiveness and understanding and never

dance around issues over and over again. They discuss their imperfections and

evolve in the higher level of understanding. Participants added that they started

to understand the point of view of their partner, started to listen to them and they

have become more open- minded in the relationship.

“ Tapos buligan lang gid daw namon pigado daw siya oo , pero e
hatag niya man tanan niya nga makaya para sa amon kay
palangga niya gid daw ko kag ang…Mga bata namon palangga nya
gid daw (Irene:P2I206-209)

( He said that even though he is poor, he would give everything

that he can because he loves us, especially my children.)

Cohabiters now see responsibilities and focused on it such as them

building their family, they have a clear vision of their family and have a better

sense of responsibility that makes them satisfied with their life and relationship.
 43

Having a complete family is only what they desire and not being married is not a

barrier for them.

“. Oo kay daw sa kanami man nga buo ang pamilya ah kag kanami
nga indi kamo bungkag indi pareho bala sa iban haw ,nga ang mga
bata may ara gud nga ma guide sa ila nga tatay kag nanay.
Katoon man ko nga… kung paano mag kutob sang panawag nga
kinabuhi. Ang pangabuhi indi gid dali dapat magpakasal gid anay
sila dapat manami.. makatapos sila anay sang ila pag eswkwela
(Judy:P3I174-219)

(it feels nice to have a complete family, that my children have a

mother and father to guide them, and now, I know what it really
means in life, it’s not easy that’s why marriage is really important
that they should finish their education.)

C. What challenges cohabiting couples encounter?

Table 3 Challenges encounter by cohabiting couples

Clustered Themes Formulated Meanings
2.4 An Easy Escape  Infidelity
 lower relationship satisfaction
 uncertainty about commitment.
 Conflict in terms of pool
money.
2.5 Money Matters
 Financial hardships foster
 conflict to cohabiting couples.
 Socioeconomic status
 Parental disapproval acts as a
barrier to cohabiting unions
2.6 Outside the Inner Circle
 Spending more time with
friends and family
 44

 Lack of sexual nature needs

2.7 A half- hearted Love
2.8 A Cat and Mouse Game
 Feeling disconnected from
partner
 Possessiveness
 Transitional behavior
 Frequent misunderstanding
 Presence of physical
aggression

2.4 An Easy Escape

An easy escape defines one of the disadvantages of cohabitation, where

they can simply escape without taking any responsibility in living the relationship

leaving obligations and to their partners. Living together without marriage or

being in a civil partnership means you do not have many rights around finances,

property and children. Cohabitation is an unsecured commitment which

encourages participants to work out their issues with one another but it is they

have a choice, they are free to leave or stay and infidelity is rampant in this set-

up. Participants stated that infidelity is rampant in their relationship, where their

partners are seeing someone they can’t do anything about because they are not

married and only commitment and words certainty was given to them.

“ Kung amo na nga ano.. wala kami ga intindihanay, may ara siya
nga babae, pero siya gid ang daw ga pang babae gid. Wala gani ko
kabalo nga ng babae na siya sa surallah tapos ga busong gali, gin
sulong ko gani to. siling ko “ wala gid ko kabalo kumpyansa gid ko
ba” kung di in ka malipay ok lng ko ya.” (Toto:P1I102-106)

(We had misunderstanding and that was the time that he was
seeing someone else, the woman got pregnant unfortunately, I was
 45

disappointed because I trust him but I am happy whatever his

decision is.)

“ oo, nag chat sa iya nga amo bala na haw ara ko sa hospital nga
time…may iban na gali nga gakuha sa iya nga attention.
(Irene:P2I64-65)

“ yes, I was in the hospital that time… and there is already

someone getting his attention)

“Ang nag bag o lng kay nangita siya sang partner niya kay may
something nga indi kami mag kwanay.. mga about sa personal
namon nga ano…ang mga na kwanan niya sa akon kung di in ka a
masaya sige pangita ka.” (Toto:P1I57-60)

(The things that change is that he finds someone else because of

our personal stuff and misunderstandings and I can let him go
wherever he is happy.)

Furthermore, entering cohabitation has no security but only insecurity.

Participants added that their relationship was also associated with higher levels

of attachment insecurity and uncertainty of commitment in the relationship

because of not being married and some issues such as infidelity that juggled

their relationship. They also stated how their partners felt lower relationship

satisfaction because of their personal and in their relationship misunderstanding.

2.5 Money Matters

Arguments about money have the dubious honor of being the number

one source of conflict between couples. Money disagreements, or lack of open

and constructive conversations about it, are one of the main reasons for fights in

relationships. Participants revealed money disagreements, or lack of open and

 46

constructive conversations about it, are one of the main reasons for fights in

relationships as participant stated that money are the reason of their suffering

and the root of their conflict in their relationship and their partner had come up to

the point of not going work and was push to be the one working so they can set

food in their table.

“. Kuan… lisod… ang kalisod lng gid grabi ang kuan kay live-in
palang mo.. grabi na imo na agyan mo na na experience mo nga
ang lalaki nga mag obra siya indi siya mag obra ti amo na ako nlng
ga pangita gis a sang sud an amo bala na haw… gis a mag away
mi tungod lng sa financial tapos gis a wala mi kaon amo bala na
haw. Amo na nga.. lisod man magpakasal..” (Irene:P2I21-25)

(It’s so hard, poverty makes us suffer , and it reach to the point that
he doesn’t want to go to work , me being responsible to provide, I
am the one who seek food to provide instead. Sometimes we
would fight because of financial and sometimes we don’t have
something to eat. That’s the reason why it is hard to interject
marriage)

Ang kapigadohon gid.. (Judy:P3I142)

(it’s poverty really)

2.6 Outside the Inner Circle

Family conflicts are one major reason in the challenges of cohabiting

couples. Misunderstanding, pride, and discrimination are the most common

cohabiting couples would say. Participants state that because of parental

disapproval it pushes them to “Tanan” to stand their relationship and prove their
 47

love. intolerances and prejudices in their environment and some in the family of

their partners for the participants have lower socioeconomic.

“Ng sato abi… ang pamilya ni auntie mo.. daw indi bala sila gusto
sa akon haw… daw… Ng.. basta amo na indi nila gusto sa akon
para kay auntie mo kay syempre, pigado man ako , ng… isang
kahig isang tuka lng man ako sato dati.. pero swerte lng ako kay
wala ko gin bayaan ni auntie mo nag opod siya sa akon”

( Judy:P3I37-40)

(Before that… your auntie’s family do not like me at all. Her parents
doesn’t like me because I was poor. Of course, I am but a guy who
lives by pouch of potato. Despite of that I am lucky she didn’t leave
me)

“Tanan” are one way of couples to force the family in accepting the partner
they choose and be their husband or wife.

Transition of relationship commonly happens to couples especially if those

changes affect their mental and emotional well-being. Participants added that

selfishness and immaturity in the relationship become a challenge because of the

previous life’s routines that they can’t let go.

“kanang…… ng.. halin satong napatay tong amon bata daw didto
gid nag umpisa nga na siya ng.. sige na siya kuan bisyo tapos ako
sige hibi. Gina hambalan ko na siya “ na ano Kaman timo man?
Daw wala kana timo labot” tapos masabat siya “paghipos da” ng
daw nag amo bala sina haw. Kanang amo tong time nga hambal
niya indi na siya mag inum…maligo lang daw siya kag magpuli lang
daw siya dayon… asta nalang mag hapon kag gab e wala gyapon
 48

siya kay wala gyapon siya. Ara siya sa iyang barkada”

(Irene:P2I102-104)

(Since our child died he became so miserable, and I was always

crying, I tried to talk out of it but he just got angry and also in that
time where he said that he will just take a bath and he will
comeback but he is nowhere all afternoon and he was actually
drinking with his friends until evening)

2.7 A Half-hearted Love

Common problems that affect many men and women at some point in

their life. It is often linked to relationship issues, Furthermore, another dispute is

couples facing half-hearted love, whereas a one of the dilemmas that cohabiting

couples face. Participants expresses that lack of sexual nature needs as the

problem that fade their communication and romance and feeling disconnected

due to some other responsibilities as that present in their life. moreover,

participants added Lack of interest in sex or returns and causes personal distress

and difficulty in compromising with partner that a way to find someone else.

“ oo ,Bal an mo siya abi mahilig na siya sa sex ti ako ya ang akon

lng man hahaha companionship kag indi ko mahilig sina. Bal an mo
lalaki abi na……. ti syempre may kinanlanon man kag ato nga
time.. daw ga…menopause. Nga daw indi bala ko gusto nga mga
amo sina bal an mo naman about ano ti amo na nga daw nag
kwanay kami duwa kag nahimo niya to. “(Toto:P1I75-79)

(yes, but for me I just want a companion and I don’t really like sex.
But I understand he is a man… of course he has needs. Back
then, I was in a stage of my menopausal that’s why I don’t want to
do it that’s the reason why we or he find someone else.)
 49

Moreover, because cohabitation is an intimate set-up without security,

infidelity, cheating and betrayal is not impossible in this set-up, and missing this

can lead to disconnection to their partners finding another mate. overlapping

sexual partnerships, has important consequences for relationship quality.

“ Kung amo na nga ano.. wala man wala kami ga intindihanay, may
ara siya nga babae, pero siya gid ang daw ga pang babae gid.
Wala gani ko kabalo nga ng babae na siya sa surallah tapos ga
busong gali, gin sulong ko gani to. iling ko “ wala gid ko kabalo
kumpyansa gid ko ba” kung di in ka malipay ok lng ko ya.”
(Toto:P1I102-106)

( We have misunderstanding and that was the time that he was

seeing someone else , the woman got pregnant unfortunately, I was
disappointed because I trust him but I am happy whatever his
decision is.)

“ oo, nag chat sa iya nga amo bala na haw ara ko sa hospital nga
time…may iban na gali nga gakuha sa iya nga attention.
(Irene:P2I64-65)

“ yes, I was in the hospital and there is already someone getting his
attention)

Furthermore, being possessive and controlling are one problem that

cohabiting couples always encounter. Participants added that because the

relationship is insecure they assert that their partner is making an effort to control

them to feel secure in their set-up, they become insecure, they fear that they may

lose the person and their way of guarding them or their relationship is being

possessive.
 50

. “May ara pa gali gha.. ng si auntie mo pagid abi ng daw… gina

hulga niya ko permi haha ng bal an mo ng kung di in ko, kung ga
ano ko, kung sin o opod ko daw, amo bala na haw.. kay abi niya
sina abi daw may babae ko sato nga panahon, may bisyo pagid
abi ko sato daw ga labo kami dahil sina ba kag naisipan niya na
dayon ko nga may babae ko.” (Judy:P3I155-159)

( There was a time that your auntie would try to interrogate and she
always hahaha you know.. follow me or ask whose with me
whenever I go out or where I have been. Because at that time she
felt that I was cheating and I got some vices. That’s why our
relationship got cloudy that time because of issues in affairs)

2.8 A Cat and Mouse Game

Cat and mouse games, where couples are fighting like one, with different

needs, wants, perspectives and views makes this happen, where fights are

unending. It is also one of the biggest challenges they face. Time, love, and effort

are the things they sacrifice and gamble to find the life partner they desire. As

relationships last some couple communication changes that sometimes lead to

negative and affects relationship integration. Participants express that as time

goes by in the relationship, transitional starts to emerge, as a sign of

comfortability and showing the negative side of their partner which causes them

to create conflict.

“Wala man siya nag change sa batasan niya.. bo ot man siya ng.. .
ga concern man siya kaso lng ng kwan lng ba kay…pabay an niya
nalang ka dira.. ng daw dili na siya mag bulig sa imoha..
hambalan mo nga magluto mangakig pa siya sa imoha oo ng daw
ano siya na amo na…” (Irene:P2I42-45)
 51

(He is kind he didn’t change precisely but he started to ignore me

and when I ask him to cook he got angry, he wouldn’t even help in
cooking that’s how it goes)

Participants also added that because committing infidelity, trust was lost

and always causing problems in their relationship.

“ Kung amo na nga ano.. wala man wala kami ga intindihanay,

may ara siya nga babae, pero siya gid ang daw ga pang babae gid.
Wala gani ko kabalo nga ng babae na siya sa surallah tapos ga
busong gali, gin sulong ko gani to. iling ko “ wala gid ko kabalo
kumpyansa gid ko ba” kung di in ka malipay ok lng ko ya.”
(Toto:P1I102-106)

(We have misunderstanding and that was the time that he was
seeing someone else, the woman got pregnant unfortunately, I was
disappointed because I trust him but I am happy whatever his
decision is.)

In addition, physical aggression was measured as having some history

of behaviors such as pushing, shoving, hitting and beyond cohabiting couples

are more likely to report relationship aggression than married or dating couples,

per new study. Especially, when it comes to financial matters or

misunderstanding circumstances. Participants explained that due to problems

that they are facing they have reached the point of hurting each other due to the

madness of the problem they faced.

atong…nag nag… sumbaganay kami.. hahaha (Irene:P2I137)

(At that time… we … we engage in a fist fight hahaha)

 52

The only other work that has examined relationship quality characteristics

in dating versus cohabiting relationships has been focused on physical

aggression. Cohabiting relationships are characterized by more violence than

dating relationships, which may be an extension of there being more potential

areas for conflict during cohabitation.

CHAPTER V

DISCUSSION
 53

In this chapter, it presents the summary of the phenomena experiences of

the participants, important insights and implication based on the perception

produce in the Phenomenological Study of Cohabitation.

A. Underlying reasons why participants cohabit

This study draws out factors of reasons why participants cohabit. Firstly,

finances as the reason of why they cohabit, their financial incapability give them

no choice stay in the set-up and cannot get married, in contrast, as pandemic

crisis appeared in the country their finances have a big impact in their current

state of living. Because of this phenomenon they choose to remain in this status

and choose to provide the basic need of their family.

In addition, emotional attachment seen as another ascribed. In this area, it

was divided in to three points. Firstly, they stated that even though they are not

married they fulfill and act of what a spouse is projecting in the relationship such

as the level of integration, treatment and commitment. Moreover, it also

highlights the time, effort and sacrifices is the investment they have poured for

the result of a long term relationship. Secondly, they cohabit because of how

their handle approach in parenting communication to their children, how their

children have a good relationship building with their partners. Lastly, Rapport as

a reason in entering cohabitation, that they just wanted someone to be with,

someone to be called a life partner and someone to grow old with.

Furthermore, another shade to be add in the factors the unavoidable

responsibility, those challenges that turn into responsibility, obligations that

changes their lives. Firstly, is being pregnant at a young age, a choice that is
 54

quite fragile that put them in unstable situations. Secondly, having a child acts as

motivation and assurance of relationship stability, a symbol that made them

complete their life and goals as a couple.

B. The benefits brought by cohabitation to the participants

Moreover, this relationship set-up perceived a series of benefits from the

participant’s experiences that is discussed in the following paragraphs below.

The first element that was distinguish under the benefits is a shoulder to

lean on. It revealed that under this shade it indicate that having a cohabiting

partner is having someone willing to listen to their problems and give them

encouragement in solving those challenges encountered in life. This study gather

that they embrace characteristics of marriage assess them the viability of the

partnership in the long term, through this actions and they are able to maintain

and stabilize their relationship set-up without marriage.

In addition, satisfaction in their relationship makes them feel the

assurance for a further development and long lasting commitment. Another

benefit to added is having a network of social support, their partners is a big help

especially in their midst of their weakness and breaking down in life, their

partners become their wall to depend on in this time of needs, also, the explained

that their partners became their help in carrying their loads in life. Lastly, give and

take in their relationship acts as a big edge to their relationships to a sustaining

force in their relationship.

Second benefit is where their hearts and mind become one. Firstly,

through this relationship it tests their compatibility in how they vibe when they
 55

blend their lives together. In contrast is good communication, they have become

open, compromise and able to understand each other that become a big factor

why their relationship reaches the long term level. To be added is reflective

listening for a better understanding of different perspectives that give importance

to their decisions and influences that lead to better outcome of conclusion that

affects their relationship.

Conflicts is never absent in every relationship, one ingredient of their

communication is talking, it acts to them as a prior strategy for a solution oriented

approach in the problems they encountered and because of this, conflict

resolution skills grow in them, through this strategy this helps them to make them

more devoted to each other.

Lastly, a change of perspectives. It involves the ability to sense other

people’s feelings, changing perspectives because of an experience that enlighten

and making them realize by those circumstances that influences their behavior

and views. In this scope, it opens to person’s maturity development, because of

cohabitation they see responsibilities, obligations that they need to fulfill because

of this set-up, they become more selfless and able to realize how hard life is that

makes them mature not only in thinking but also planning action before doing

anything, they have learned how to handle relationship to make it last long.

Following this, a part of maturity is fulfilling promises for assertiveness and

forgiveness, in their development and evolvement to a higher level of

understanding, they become more family centered, they have a clear vision in
 56

their family building and understand hardship of life and difficulty of being

married.

C. The challenges encountered by cohabiting couples

Furthermore, this study also distinguishes the challenges of cohabiting

couples, there are five themes identified in this section. An easy escape,

recognize as a superior factor in defining the challenge of cohabiting couples.

unsecured commitment infidelity became the rampant problem in their

relationship, for they took advantage of their set-up to entertain someone else.

Lower relationship satisfaction, as seen under the roof of this theme, because of

insecurity, and uncertainty in their relationship problem occurs and grow lower

satisfaction in their relationship.

Another challenge presented is money matters, arguments about

finances have the dubious honor of being number source of conflict. Financial

hardship fosters their relationship to juggled. A further challenge seen is entitled

outside the inner circle. Other people inferring in their relationship became a

challenge to their relationship such as family, parental disapproval forced to

disobeyed and “Tanan” to prove love and achieved acceptance in the families.

Discrimination in socio economic status is also a challenge in their relationship.

Lastly, selfishness and immaturity in the relationship especially doing things from

previous routines becomes a challenges, previous routines become an argument

in their relationship.

Following this, half-hearted love is also expose, number one on the list is

lack of sexual nature needs, where it fades their communication and romance, it
 57

added to their personal distress and difficulty in compromising with their partners.

Another one is feeling of disconnection, because of infidelity and other problems

arising in this relationship set-up the loss of connection becomes possible in their

communication. Another view is being possessive, entering cohabiting means it

is unsecured and uncertain and alternative way that makes an effort to secure

this set-up, such as being possessive to guard their relationship.

Finally, Last theme characterize is cat and mouse game, it defines as

couples fighting in terms of their different needs, wants and perspectives.

Transitional behavior as the first one under this theme, as relationship goes long,

a sign of comfortability and knowing each other is seen, and a part of knowing

them is showing their negative side, adjustment and understanding their partner

in a journey of knowing them became a conflict in the relationship for sometimes.

Secondly, because of frequent misunderstanding the trust was lost in the

relationship and causing problems in the relationship. Finally, the presence of

physical aggression, in this area, reaching the point of hurting each other

because of being so mad of a conflict they are fighting.

Despite this challenges they encountered, couples remained and find a

way to stay in the relationship without the security, their love with each other is

their weapon to conquer and win every problem they faced. For them, it is a

matter of choice, there is a lot of option presented to them but they always

choose each other and that would be the greatest reason and secret of why they

are still together without marriage.

 58

Implications for practice

This phenomenological research study on understanding cohabitation as a

phenomenon disclose the lived experiences of cohabiting couples. These

implications could serve as a basis acknowledge cohabitation in the society. The

role of sociology in cohabiting relationship is to understand how human action

both shape and shaped by surrounding cultural and social structures, with this

sociology analyzes and explain how cohabitation changes family ties, social

connection and structure.

This personal level, sociology will investigate how this social phenomenon

impact the wellbeing of adult, children and questions this impact of living together

that has on marriage and parenting. This will help for the people enlightenment in

social life, developing and enrich understanding social processes, theories of

sociology will give more insights how cohabiting couples shapes their lives in this

world where their existing relationship is still not further studied and people know

only a little about it, their acknowledgement, how social forces shapes their

experiences that affects the outcomes in their life. Considering the process and

result that it gone through, it implied that:

There are three focus key points for the implication of this study. Firstly,

Reinforce. With the existing financial incapability that acts as the major problem

or as reason of cohabiting, the government created the implementation of the

sustainable livelihood program or SLP this was created to reduce poverty and

focuses on providing opportunity for the Filipino people but the problem is this

assessment and opportunities cannot reach those cohabiting couples who are in
 59

remote or marginalized areas, technically, the improvement in this is

appropriation of the implementation of LGU and more budget. Secondly, there is

PANTAWID PAMILYANG PILIPINO PROGRAM or 4ps, where national

government provides conditional cash grants for family benefits that are poor, in

this case the government should improve in terms of giving more budget in

general appropriation in senate and insert conjugal program or modify via bill to

give more options about conjugal necessities of families in case they wanted to

be legal. LGU has the biggest role in this area which in the case of cohabiting

couples, they create government sponsor marriage in their social programs for

marriage alone is very expensive that not everyone can afford but this probability

happens only once, as we observe it happens only during fiestas, in this, the

government should instead impose this as an ordinance or institutionalize it as

law for a help to those who cannot really afford in processing marriage papers.

In this connection to the study, cohabiting couples should engage in this

kind of government program for them to obtain this kind benefits for their family

and can be a big help not only for the improvement of their livelihood but also of

the benefits that their children can acquire.

Following this is empower as the second key point, cohabitation is define

as a state of living together and having sexual relationship without being married,

according to the participants because of this uncertainty of commitment, infidelity

and physical aggression is highlight in their relationship set-up. The government

especially, in the area of focus of DSWD or department of social welfare and

development is designed to uplift social conditions and empowerment. They

 60

created counseling processes in able to have provision knowledges about and

techniques to enriched children, health care, spouse relationship and parent child

relationship. In addition, this program helps for preventive and developmental

goal-promoting healthy family relationship and reduce breakdowns. This

programs also aims to bring together troubled family and help them to sort

conflicts and problems affecting them. Lastly, their programs help them to make

people realize the importance and emphasizes parenthood roles, responsibilities

and obligations.

With this, cohabiting couples should ask help to this government programs

for them to have assistance and develop understanding about the nature of

marriage and strengthen family life and values that will helps them to empower

their families and building their capabilities of how to manage family structure

especially if they are facing crisis situations or poor communication.

Finally, the last key point is education. Cohabiting participants address

inescapable challenge that change their life and turn into cohabitation which is

childhood bearing and having children. They imposed Adolescent and Youth

Health Sub programs under Family health program, this ensured that all

adolescent and youth have access to quality and comprehensive health care and

especially services. As seen the rise of teenage pregnancy in the Philippines the

government the youth councils were encouraged and assigned to develop and

taught youth about sexual education and reproductive health education, there are

also budget and priority funds in this cases, they also emphasize that there is
 61

beneficiary access to health services like nutrition and mental health support,

opportunity to go back to school and social amelioration program.

In relation to the study, these government programs are a big help to

cohabiting couples who entered cohabitation because of unplanned b

responsibility, hey can absorb learnings and importance of their security and

development. It will help them stabilize their structure and composition of their

relationship to avoid family breakdown, separation, abandonment, poverty, social

problems and problems in roles for a force labor and employment. Furthermore,

the findings found in the study such as the reason of their cohabitation the

challenges and benefits that was mention will serve as a basis for sociology to

create, implement and reinforce programs for cohabiting couples, this will serve

as their help and through this, their status and existence can be a voice to hear

by the social authorities to give importance and focus on their roles as a social

agent, in their community and society.

Implication for Future Research

This descriptive qualitative study on understanding cohabitation as a

phenomenon. Being an exploratory and interpretative nature, it raises a number

of opportunity for future research in terms of theory development. More research

is in fact be necessary to define, redefine and further elaborate findings for future

and more learnings. Considering the result and the processes that this study

gone through, it implied that:

 62

First, this study offers the opportunity to refine and define concepts and

construct emerge types of blended families. One could ask about strategy

focuses on how nature of cohabiting couples implied in terms of parenting hood

that can be used to add in the generated number of new and believe useful

concepts for family building and relationship.

Secondly, this study could be extended in search of how cohabitation

affects cohabiting couple’s children’s point of view and behavior in intimate

relationship. Through this, it will build a nature of information and idea of personal

knowledge about how children feel, know and view relationship based on their

parents’ status and can give refinement and elaboration about it.

Lastly, Further research that can be elaborate point, providing information

about step relationships, one could know about styles, strategy, experience and

knowledge in this kind of relationship. This will provide valuable information that

can be used as an extent to existing supporting details for a role in practice.

Concluding Remarks

The findings of the study showed that the major reason identified in the

study is experiencing financial incapability, second is emotional attachment and

lastly, the unavoidable responsibility they need to commit to. In the part of

benefits, there is someone to lean on, hearts and mind become one, having

social support, grew reflective listening and develop conflict resolution skills in

relationships. Finally, in the challenges of cohabiting couples are, infidelity,

uncertainty of commitment, possessiveness and physical aggression.

 63

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APPENDIX A
COVER LETTER
 67

APPENDIX B

SAMPLE INFORMED
 68

APPENDIX C

INTERVIEW GUIDE
 69

APPENDIX D

REQUEST LETTER TO THE VALIDATOR

 70

APPENDIX E

VALIDATION SHEETS FOR INTERVIEW GUIDE

 71

APPENDIX F

SUMMARY OF VALIDATION RATINGS

 72

APPENDIX G

PARTICIPANT VERIFICATION
 73

APPENDIX H

PEER DEBRIEFING CERTIFICATION

 74

APPENDIX I

ARCHIVAL LOG
 75

APPENDIX J

LETTER ASKING PERMISSION

 76

APPENDIX K

LETTER REPLY
 77

APPENDIX L

CERTIFICATION OF PUBLICATION
 78

APPENDIX M

CERTIFICATION OF APPEARANCE
 79

CURRICULUM VITAE

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Name : Cara Kendra S. Calmita

Age : 21 yrs.old

Birthdate : March 19,2001

Birth Place : Koronadal City

Address : Liwanay, Banga South Cotabato

Sex : Female

Civil Status : Single

Citizenship : Filipino

Religion : Roman Catholic

Ethnicity : Ilonggo

Father’s Name : Reynaldo B. Calmita

Mother’s Name : Lyn lee S. Calmita

EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND

Tertiary : Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Colleges – Marbel Inc.

(Bachelor of Arts in Sociology)

Secondary : Libertad National High School

Elementary : Liwanay Elementary School