That's Entertainment

[The scene opens with a voiceover of the prince of Hell singing "I'm Always
Chasing Rainbows".]

Charlie: ♫ At the end of the rainbow, there's happiness. ♫

[A human is shown falling down from the sky as a rainbow bursts upwards
through the clouds.]

Charlie: ♫ And, to find it, how often I've tried. ♫

[Charlie is seen being told off by his mother.]

Charlie: ♫ But, my life is a race. Just a wild goose chase. ♫

[Camera pans over to where a figure was pointing at, which shows Hell being
circled by Angels.]

Charlie: ♫ And, my dreams have all been denied. / Why have I always been a
failure? ♫

[A shadow of Lilith looms over a disappointed Charlie as demonic arms and

tentacles cover the screen.]

Charlie: ♫ What can the reason be? / I wonder if the world is to blame. ♫

[The Earth rotates as many eyes begin to surround it.]

Charlie: ♫ I wonder if it could be me. ♫

[The Exorcists are seen smiling deviously as they look down upon the souls
they have gotten rid of. The scene turns to black as the camera focuses on
the middle Exorcist's face and halo.]

Charlie: ♫ I'm always chasing rainbows. / Watching clouds drifting by. ♫

[The scene fades in on graffiti and signs that say "Fuck You, Heaven",
"Punishment" and "Your Days Are Numbered" can be seen throughout Hell.]

Charlie: ♫ My schemes are just like all my dreams. / Ending in the sky. ♫

[Charlie heads towards the hotel's balcony as he releases fireworks that

signal to the rest of Hell that the Extermination has ended.]

Charlie: ♫ Some fellows look and find the sunshine. ♫

[A handful of demons are seen checking the area to see if the coast is all
clear.]

Charlie: ♫ I always look and find the rain. ♫

[Carmillo Carmine opens the blinds to his room, revealing the display of
fireworks. The camera then proceeds to show Zesta and Zeezi, as well as
Lilith herself hiding in the shadows, present in the same room as him.]

Charlie: ♫ Some fellows make a winning sometime. ♫

[At The Porn Studios, Velo takes a selfie with Voxie whereas Valentina is not
amused when she sees that she got a text from her employee.]

Charlie: ♫ I never even make a profit. / Believe me. ♫

[Odo and another demon pull out an angelic spear from a corpse and leave as
the cannibals waiting nearby pounce on her dead body. Rose then crosses
out Francesca's name from the sign above their business.]

Charlie: ♫ I'm always chasing rainbows. ♫

[A demon can be seen cleaning up what's been left of the Extermination as

other demons begin to freely walk about in the open.]

Charlie: *in tears* ♫ Waiting to find a little bluebird... in vain. ♫

[Charlie looks back at the Clock Tower as it resets the timer for the next
annual cleanse.]

[A sinner has fallen into Hell and has been transformed into a demon. He falls
face-first onto the road and is surprised to see that he is still "alive".]

Four-armed Demon: Aaaaah! *laughs* Ugh. Huh? *checks himself* I'm alive!
i'm alive

[He then gets run over by a taxi driven by Travia which Devil Breath walks out
of. Travia snickers.]

Travia: Huh. Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff!

Devil Breath: *pushes her hand through her hair* Yeah, yeah, listen. *Fixes
her hair more* Keep this discreet, you hear me? I can't let it get out I'm
offering my services to randos on the street! It was a quick cash grab *makes
a gesture with her fingers and snaps her fingers at her, smiling*. Ya got it?

Travia: Phew! Whatever you say, slut! Muhehehehehe!

Devil Breath: *pretends to be offended* Ouch! Ooh! *turns back to face her*
Such an insult! Let me know when you've come up with something creative to
call me *looms over Travia and points at her with all her index fingers*, you
sack of poorly packaged horse shit! Tell the missus I said "hi" *kisses her*,
Shnuckums!

Travia: *defeatedly* Pack a - puh...

[As Travia angrily drives off, Devil looks behind her to see a vending machine
for her namesake drugs. She goes for the Devil Breath and just as she gets a
hold of it, a random demon runs by and steals her drugs.]

Feathered Demon: Yoink!

Devil Breath: *annoyed* Hey!

Feathered Demon: Up yours, drag show!

[A boulder proceeds to fall out of the sky, crushing the feathered demon
alongside Devil's drugs. Devil gasps.]

Devil Breath: Oh, my GOD! *leans in to pick up what's left of her pack of drugs
with a devastated look on her face* MY DRUGS! *clenchs the cloth angrily
and looks up* Damn it!

[A war ship can be seen passing by, destroying its surroundings.]

[The camera zooms in on the war ship, revealing Miss Pentious and his
henchmen inside.]
Miss Pentious: *operating the controls to her ship*
Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Those other cowardly sssinners dare not hinder
my territorial take over! A wise decision! The power of my machines is
unmatched! *proceeds to push two levers as her hood flares open* No other
demon can compare to the likesss of I!

Egg Girl #23: Gee! That was pretty swell, boss!

Egg Girl #666: Yeah!

Other Egg Girl: You really showed them what for! I liked when you *her hand
mimics the action of a shooting ray gun* shot them with your ray gun! *gets
slapped away by Miss Pentious*

Egg Girl #23: I wish she'd shoot me with her ray gun! *Other Egg Girl pats her*

Miss Pentious: *hood flares open* At this rate, I will seize control of the entire
west side of The Pentagram by day's end! *pushes a few buttons* And
nothing, *pulls levers towards her* not a single beast in this inferno of suffering
will be able to take back this empire from *squeezes an Egg Girl with her tail*
my constrictive grasp!

[An Egg Girl suddenly pops on screen and pops open a bottle of whiskey onto
Miss Pent's face. Miss Pent proceeds to swat said Egg Girl aside before
throwing the squeezed Egg Girl aside as well.]

Random Egg Girl: Oh boy!

Miss Pentious: Hell will be mine! And everybody will know the name of Miss
Pen-

[Miss Pentious is interrupted by a scream coming from offscreen. Miss Pent

and two Egg Girlz become surprised.]

Cherry Bomb: EDGELORD!

Miss Pentious: *offended* Excuse me?! *looks around angrily and eyes the
two Egg Girlz behind her* Who said that?! What did you just say to me, you
fried chicken fetuses?! *hisses* Speak up!
The Two Egg Girlz: *petrified* That wasn't us, Mrs. Boss.

[A small bomb with a print of a skull on it breaks through Miss Pent's ship. It
then lands right between Miss Pent and the two Egg Girlz. The bomb
proceeds to blow up, leaving red smoke behind.]

Miss Pentious: *coughs and hacks*

[As the smoke clears up, the owner of the scream is revealed to be Cherri
Bomb as he prepares another bomb in hand.]

Cherri Bomb: You lookin' for a fight, old woman?! *begins to juggle around his
cherry bomb* Why don't you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I
*proceeds to throw and catch the bomb* smash it?!

[A large pipe falls on top of an already dead Egg Girl, crushing her as Miss
Pent and Cherri momentarily look at the carnage.]

Cherri Bomb: *grins sadistically* ...More!

Miss Pentious: Oh! *hood flares open* You wanna go, mister?! Well, I'm
happy to oblige! Ahahaha!

[Miss Pentious is then backed up by her henchmen of Egg Girlz.]

[The logo for 666 News is shown on a black background, which is followed by
the day's newscast.]

Kate Killjoy: Good afternoon, I'm Kate Killjoy.

Tommy Trench: And I'm Tommy Trench! Chaos out at Pentagram City today
as a turf war is raging on the west side!

[An image of Miss Pentious trying to be hip, followed by a drawing of Cherri

flipping the bird is shown.]

Tommy Trench: Between notable queenpin, Miss Pentious, and self-

proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb!
Kate Killjoy: That's right, Tommy! After the recent Extermination, many areas
are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain
new territory!

[A live clip of Cherri and Miss Pentious's clash is shown.]

Tommy Trench: Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?

Kate Killjoy: Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail *fishes out a tooth and a
nail respectively from his mug of coffee* for that hot spot! *proceeds to
swallow said tooth and nail*

Tommy Trench: *looking over at the live broadcast focusing on Cherri* And I'd
sure like to nail his hot spot! *wiggles eyebrows* Hoohoo!

Kate Killjoy: Haha, you are a limp-pussy jackass, Tommy! Or should I say -
*pours scalding hot coffee onto her crotch* no pussy?

Tommy Trench: *curls over in pain* Ugh...not again!

(Screen shows a picture of Charlie as Tommy can still be heard whimpering in

pain in the background.)

Kate Killjoy: Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the son of
Hell's own head honcho who's here to discuss his brand new passion project!
All that and more, after the break! *crushes his mug in his hand and turns to
Trench who's still in pain* Suck it up, you little bi-!

(The news cast cuts off and goes on a commercial break.)

[The camera pans out from a nearby screen, focusing on Charlie and his
boyfriend as he fixes Charlie's bow.]

Dicky: *exhales* Okay! Do you remember what to say?

Charlie: *inhales* Yes! Let's do this!

Dicky: (in a serious tone) Just, look at me and I'll mouth it to you.

Charlie: Come on, Dicky! *bends backwards* I know what to say! I just feel
like we need to...I don't know, *grabs and throws a donut away* make things
sound more exciting! *Gasps* Hoo! What if I-

Dicky: *cutting Charlie off* -Sing a song about it?

Charlie: You knew I was gonna say that! *boops Dicky on the nose*

Dicky: Because I know you *fixes his bow again*. But, please don't sing!
*shakes Charlie* This is serious!

Charlie: Well, you know, I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through
song!

[Charlie stands on the table where Razzle and Dazzle are happily munching
on doughnuts, watching him.]

Dicky: But, life isn't a musical, hon. *places hands on hips*

Charlie: Fine. But, I have these other ideas of what to say! *starts bouncing a
bit as he shows Dicky a piece of paper* The highlighted bits are the best part!

Dicky: Uh, it's all highlighted. *squints* Is this a drawing...?

Charlie: Yes! That's the happy ending, see?! *begins to fantasize* Everyone is
smiling and happy in Heaven!

Dicky: *pinches the bridge of his nose* I don't think it's that simple. Just please
follow the talking points we went over. And *grabs Charlie to face his* do not
sing!

Charlie: Okay, girl. (in a girly voice) I'll just have to resort to my impeccable
improv skills! *salutes Dicky as he walks over to Kate Killjoy*

Charlie: (nervously) Hey! I'm Charlie. *tries to go for a handshake*

Kate Killjoy: Kate Killjoy. *blows out the smoke of his cigarette* I'd say it's a
pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. *throws away his cigarette* And
you can put that away. *gestures to Charlie's hand* I don't touch the gays. I
have standards!

Charlie: Yeah? How's uh... how's that working out for ya? *turns to look
around nervously*

Kate Killjoy: Look, my time is money. So, I'll keep this short. *proceeds to poke
Charlie* You're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because
Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment.

[A billboard of Jeffrey's cannibalism cooking show titled "It's Dahm Good!" can
be seen in the background.]

Kate Killjoy: You might be some royal big shot *fluffs his hair*, but that doesn't
mean shit to me. I'm too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what
some tux-wearing demon *does air quotes with his fingers* "Prince" wants to
advertise.

[Tommy can be seen shaking her head in disapproval as Kate boasts about
his wealth and influence to Charlie.]

Charlie: But, I-

Kate Killjoy: *continues to poke his chest* So, don't get cute with me, honey,
or I will fucking bury you!

News Staff: And we're live!

[Killjoy rushes back to his desk, holding papers while cracking his neck.]

Kate Killjoy: Welcome back! So, Charlotte!

Charlie: It's... Charlie. *smiles nervously as a spotlight flashes his way*

Kate Killjoy: Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been
persistently pestering our news station about! *tries to hold in her outburst by
clenching her pen*
Charlie: *looks around as Dicky motions him to go on* Well, *clears throat and
exhales* As most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I
always tried to see the good in everyone around me.

[Killjoy spots a slug and stabs it with his pen, the slug's blood bursts all over.]

Charlie: Hell is my home and- *gets slug blood splattered across his cheek
which he then wipes off* you are my people. We... We just went through
another Extermination.

[Dicky is seen giving Charlie two thumbs up as Killjoy quickly starts to lose
interest.]

Charlie: We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people

being slaughtered every year. No one is even given *slams fist on table,
waking Killjoy up* a chance! *walks up from Killjoy's desk* I can't stand idly by
while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I've been thinking: Isn't
there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? *walks
around the audience* Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change
souls through... redemption? *throws his arm around one of the News Cast's
staff members* Well, I think yes! So, that's what this project aims to achieve!
*returns to Killjoy's desk* Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its
kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!

[His broadcast is being shown at The Radio Shack, which many other demons
are also watching by the streets and everywhere else in Hell.]

Charlie: *starts to lose his confidence* Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people
passin' through... temporarily...

Lizard Demon: Ahahaha! IS this boy for real?! He thinks- *tries to hold in his
laughter* You hear what he thinks?! He said- HAHA! Ah, he's nuts. *walks out
of The Kaiju Klub with his friends, Zeezi and another demon*

Charlie: I think it'll serve a purpose... a place to work towards redemption...

yay...!

[The scene cuts back to the demons watching his broadcast from The Radio
Shack. A mysterious figure walks up to see his broadcast alongside a bunch
of other demons watching such as Crymini and a handful of others.]
Demon Cameraman: *snickers* Stupid dick.

Dicky: *punches the cameraman square in the face*

Charlie: *looks around, saddened* Look, every single one of you has
something good, deep down inside. I know you do! ...Maybe I'm not getting
through to you.

[Razzle and Dazzle are then alerted that Charlie's about to sing and that she
may need their back-up vocals.]

Dicky: *facepalms* Oh no...

[Charlie snaps his fingers as the room turns dark and a spotlight is shown
over a piano that Charlie, Razzle and Dazzle start performing on. Meanwhile,
back at The Radio Shack, Alice and her shadow can be seen tilting their
heads curiously as their smiles widen.]

Charlie: ♫ I have a dream, I'm here to tell! / *walks away from the piano as two
news staff look at each other* About a wonderful fantastic new *takes out a
drawing of The Happy Hotel* hotel! ♫

Charlie: ♫ Yes, it's one-of-a-kind! Right here in Hell, catering to a specific

clientele *boops Dazzle's nose*. ♫

Razzle and Dazzle: ♫ Oooh, ooh, ooh~ ♫

[Killjoy is in shock as Trench looks around, confused.]

Charlie: ♫ Inside of every demon is a rainbow *throws his arm around the
necks of two bird demons*! Inside every sinner is a shiny smile *passes
underneath a hellhound's tail*! Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac
is a jolly, happy cupcake-loving child *hands the masked demon a sparkling
cupcake and pats his head*! ♫

Charlie: ♫ We can turn them 'round! *turns to Killjoy and Trench* They'll be
Heaven-bound! With just a little time, down at The Happy Hotel! *camera pans
to the audience where Dicky stands with a disappointed expression* ♫
Charlie: ♫ So, all you junkies *takes out syringe from a doll demon's head*,
freaks *takes a pic with a Siamese twin demon in its cage*, and weirdos
*fends off a several-eyed blob demon*. Creepers *stares at a snail demon out
the window*, fuck-ups *boops a couch demon on the nose*, crooks, and
zeroes *returns the stolen money to charity*, and down-fallen superheroes
*throws his hands behind the necks of two supervillain demons*, help is here!
♫

Charlie: ♫ All of you cretins *dips his hair into the water by the pier*, sluts
*holds out a pair of panties in disgust*, and losers *calls his rival a loser*,
sexual deviants *backs away from the sex offenders *, and boozers *turns to
face a depressed demon*, and prescription drug abusers *throws away the
drugs a blue demon is taking into a burning trash can*, need not fear!

Charlie: ♫ Forever again *A demon lands on a wheelchair and is pushed by

Razzle towards Charlie and Dazzle*, we'll cure your sin *shows the demon his
clipboard*! We'll make you well *Dazzle injects a happiness serum into the
patient*you'll feel so swell! Right here in Hell *briefly turns to his full demonic
form*, at the Happy Hotel! ♫

[Razzle continues to aggressively play the piano.]

Charlie: ♫ *slides over to Killjoy's right* There'll be no more fire, *slides over to
Trench's left* and no more screams. Just puppy dog kisses *holds a dog close
to his face*, and cotton candy dreams *holds out a stick of cotton candy*, and
puffy-wuffy clouds *cuddles both the dog and cotton candy*, you're gonna be
like " Wow!" *the camera pans out showing the clouds forming the word
"Wow!"* Once you check in with meee *shows a check-in chart*! ♫

[Dickyis seen with both his hands covering his face.]

Charlie: ♫ So, all your cartoon porn addictions *confiscates a neckbeard

demon's cartoon porn magazine*, vegan rants *confiscates a vegan demon's
Hellphone and takes a selfie with it*, psychic predictions *confiscates the spell
books and crystal ball of a psychic demon *, ancient Roman crucifixions
*avoids running into a crucified demon and knocks over two other crucified
demons*, end right here *throws away all the confiscated items off a cliff*! ♫

Charlie: ♫ All you monsters *clenches the hands of two monstrous demons*,
thieves, and crazies *points finger guns over a dog demon trying to steal
baguettes from an insect demon whose hood flares open*, cannibals *tempts
the cannibals with a severed arm on a plate*, and crying babies *looks at a
possum mother and her rabid babies, annoyed*, frothing mouths that's full of
rabies filled with cheer *pulls a hellhound with rabies close to him*! ♫

Charlie: ♫ You'll be complete *completes a puzzle demon as the camera pans

out*! It'll be so neat *a wrecking ball demon destroys the puzzle demon as
Charlie gives two thumbs up*! Our service can't be beat *in his door uniform
man*! You'll be on easy street, yes *hugs three demons, which includes
Mimzo*! Life will be sweet *turns to his demonic form* at The Happy Hoteeel
*twirls happily in flames as he jumps up, revealing a land made of candies and
sweets behind him*! Yeah! ♫

[Charlie ends the song, rather exhausted as everyone in the news station
looks at him with disgust and disbelief.]

Top Hat Demon: Wow! ...That was shit!

[Everyone in the audience including Killjoy and Trench begin to laugh at

Charlie. Charlie looks crushed and devastated and slumps back down to his
seat. There was a boo section in the news and the demons look uninterested]

Blue Flame Demon: *deadpan* Booooo!

Kate Killjoy: What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell
would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that
this little experiment even works! You want people to be good?! Just...
because?! *continues to laugh*

Charlie: Well, we have a patron already, who believes in our cause and she's
shown incredible progress!

Kate Killjoy: *feigns shock* Oh? And who might that be?

Charlie: *tries to look smug and confident* Oh, just someone named... Devil
Breath!

Tommy Trench: The porn star?

Kate Killjoy: *turns to her menacingly* You fucking would, Tommy! *turns back
to Charlie* In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could
get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube *motions
doing a handjob*.

Charlie: Oh, I beg to differ! *begins to count on his fingers* She's been well
behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now.

News Staff: *offscreen* Breaking News!

[Killjoy shoves Charlie off his desk.]

Kate Killjoy: We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing
turf war! Let's go to the live feed.

[The live feed shows Devil Breath stepping on an Egg Girl and throwing a
grenade over at Miss Pentious with visible laughter in the background as
Charlie stares at the screen in defeat.]

Charlie: Oh…shit.

Devil Breath(in the background): I'm a bad person!

Kate Killjoy: "Oh shit" indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is
none other than *feigns a gasp* porn actor, Devil Breath! *turns to Charlie as
he shakes his fist* What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid, right
now.

[Killjoy and Trench proceed to laugh at Charlie.]

Killjoy and Trench: *does Jazz hands* Ratings!

[Charlie stares at the live feed in distress and attempts to block it from the
audience's view.]

Charlie: Don't look at this!

Kate Killjoy: Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. *looms
over Charlie* Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure? *everyone in room
starts bursting into laughter*
Charlie: *tries to think of a comeback* Yeah, well... *looks around* How does it
feel that I got your pen, huh?! *grabs Killjoy's ballpen* ...Bitch!

[Everybody instantly stops laughing while Kate Killjoy and Tommy Trench give
him the death stare]

Charlie: *nervously* Ehehe... *puts pen back down* Oops.

[Tommy Trench runs off set.]

[Killjoy's demonic form reveals itself as he looms over Charlie from the
shadows.]

[Purplish red smoke transitions into Devil Breath and Cherri Bomb fighting
Egg Girlz.]

Cherri Bomb: Heyyy, thanks for the back up, Devi!

Devil Breath: Hahaha!

[Cherri Bomb fires a rocket launcher.]

Devil Breath: You kiddin'? This is the best action I've seen in ages! *puts
hands behind her head*

Cherri Bomb: *launching another cherry bomb* Where've you been, anyway? I
thought you up and died or some shit.

Devil Breath: *lighting a bomb and handing it to him* Oh, I wish! I've been
staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some broads are letting
me stay rent-free if I play nice.

[They both cover their heads as the explosion sets off behind them, then grin
at each other as they jump into the field.]

Devil Breath: *Continues to shoot down Egg Girlz with what seems to be a
drum mag M1928 Thompson* Y'know, no fights, no pranks, no "problematic
language"... His words, not mine. *steps on a broken tile, launching an Egg
Girl airborne and shoots her from behind as she sighs again* These crazy
bastards are no fun! I've been clean for two weeks!

Cherri Bomb: *in disbelief, smiling* Holy shit!

Devil Breath: *looks at the leftover smudge on her finger* Well, sorta clean.
*destroys an incoming Egg Girl* Just clean as you can get from a shitload of
Bolivian marching powder! *gets chained and thrown aside by Miss Pentious*

Devil Breath: Ohh~ Harder, mommy! *raises left eyebrow*

Miss Pentious: *taking it seriously as she gasps* Daughter?!

[Devil lowers eyebrow as Cherri kicks Miss Pentious to the side.]

Miss Pentious: *hood flares open* Grr! You bastards have no class! In war,
The side remembered is the side with the most ssstyle!

Cherri Bomb: Or the side that ain't dead! *decapitates an Egg Girl*

Devil Breath: *stands up and removes the chains restricting her* Speakin' a
style, is your hat like, alive or something?

Miss Pentious: Oh! Well, that's none of your GODDAMN BUSSSSINESS!

Now, is it?

Devil Breath: Hah, would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?

[A sign that says "Loser" can be seen in the background pointing at Miss
Pentious as an Egg Girl acknowledges the roast.]

Egg Girl: *cups hands* Oooooh! *gets pebble thrown at her by Miss Pentious*

Miss Pentious: (enraged) I'm going to blow you to bitssss!

Devil Breath: *eyes her up and down* Hm, kinky!

Miss Pentious: Oh, not like that! *hood flares open as a sign that says "Pussy"
can be seen pointing at her in the background* Pervert! *knocks over an Egg
Girl*

[Devil notices an Egg Girl with a tentacle launcher which causes her to push
Cherri to the side out of fear.]

[Devil gets tangled up in all the tentacles.]

Miss Pentious: Not so cocky now, are we?!

Devil Breath: (unamused) Y'know, you really gotta watch what comes outta ya
mouth. I've been making these sex jokes the whole *limbs gets pulled on as
Miss Pentious reveals a drill which jump starts* TIME! *reveals her third pair of
arms carrying a gun* And it's obvious ya ain't catchin' on. I mean, it's just
*pulls out M1928* sad! *shoots it at Miss Pentious*

Cherri Bomb: So, think you're gonna get in a lotta trouble for this?

Devil Breath: Eh, *retracts her third set of arms* what's one little brawl gonna
cause?

[Charlie and Killjoy can be seen trying to duke it out on each other like it's
some sort of WWE match while a fire alarm goes off in the background with
Trench entering the scene, covered in flames.]

Tommy Trench: WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME?!

Cherri Bomb: Glad you haven't changed! *slugs her on the arm* You know
you're my favorite gal to party with!

Devil Breath: You know it, sugar balls!

Cherri Bomb: *takes out one last bomb* You ready to finish this?

Devil Breath: *takes out Thompson gun* Born ready, baby!

[Devil and Cherri pounce onto Miss Pentious and her army as they prepare to
clash, Charlie and Killjoy are still at each other's throats screaming, Trench is
still on fire, screaming in agony. The camera shows all the characters present,
screaming as the scene turns silent.]

[The royal family limousine can be seen driving back to the hotel. Charlie can
be seen hugging his knees and looking out the window when his jacket is
ruined after Kate Killjoy attacked him, while Dicky sits next to him, glaring
furiously at Devil Breath.]

[Charlie sighs as Dicky's eye twitches at Devil Breath, who can be seen
amusing herself by playing with the car window roller repeatedly.]

[Dicky scrunches up his face.]

Devil Breath: *taking notice* ...What?

Dicky: "What?", "WHAT?!" What were you DOING?! *rips off bits of his hair*

Devil Breath: *sighs* I owed my boy buddy a solid! Isn't that a "redeeming
quality"? *does air quotes* Helping friends with stuff? *rolls eyes*

Dicky: Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!

Devil Breath: Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred. Ehahahahah!
*inhales* It wasn't that bad, anyway. *proceeds to play with the button of the
car window roller*

[Dicky throws an unfolded pocket knife at the window roller.]

Devil Breath: Aw, come on! I had to! *brushes back hair* My credibility was on
the line! I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was
trying to go clean? It just throws out my entire persona! *suggestively pushes
up crotch flop*

Dicky: Your credibility? What about the hotel's?! *gestures at a defeated

Charlie* Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke! *burns*

Devil Breath: *scoffs* No, no, no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look...
ugh, sad! *camera pans to Charlie* And pathetic! Like an orphan... with no
arms... or legs... Oh! With progeria! *camera focuses back on her* Great! Now
I'm bummed thinking about it! *starts looking around the limousine* This thing
have any liquor?

Dicky: Can you please just try to take this seriously?!

Devil Breath: *flicks off a dust bunny* Fine, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a
twist, baby! *snaps finger at him while smiling*

Dicky: Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?!

Devil Breath: *groans* Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no
liquor in here?!

Dicky: *returns to sit next to Charlie as he crosses his arms* I'm gonna kill 'er.

Devil Breath: Too late, toots. Wait! Would that make me double dead? Hah,
and where exactly do I go? To Double Hell? Hahahahahahahaha! Sorry,
you're stuck with me, bitch - get used to it. *folds arms confidently*

Dicky: *angrily, as he grits his teeth* ¡Maldita sea, hija bastarda de-! (For
fuck's sake, you bastard daughter of-!)

Devil Breath: Listen, who cares if some jack-offs got hurt? Most of 'em are
ugly freaks. Look around! *looks out the limousine window, smirking* You got
a bunch of fuckin' Harlequin babies down here! *laughs*

Dicky: You're one to talk. *smiles smugly*

Devil Breath: Hey! *motions to her body* This body is flawless! Everyone
wants summa me, *pushes up crotch fluff and takes out a letter* and I've got
the creepy fan letters to prove it!

[Takes a letter from in between her legs and reveals it to Dicky that features a
small picture of a dirty naked old woman, who ironically has a "No Devil
Breath" tattoo, smothering her mouth on an Devil Breath Body pillow and a
message at the bottom saying "Show me your feet!! -Bryana, #1 Fan/Critic".]

Dicky: Grrr...
Charlie: That was really uncool, y'know, Devil.

Dicky: "Uncool"?! After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna want
to stay at the hotel! *looks towards Devil Breath* All thanks to *points at her*
you and your selfish bullshit!

Devil Breath: Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore?

[Dicky motions "What do you think?"]

Devil Breath: *snaps finger* Ah...well, shucks.

Charlie: Hey, come on. *takes off ruined jacket* We don't know if things are
over yet! Try to relax, Dicky. *puts a hand on Dicky's left shoulder* I-it'll be
okay!

[Dicky smiles at Charlie softly.]

[The limousine arrives at the hotel as the hotel door opens, revealing a very
old and dirty establishment.]

Dicky: *throws himself on the couch, facing the wall* Ugh!

Devil Breath *rummages through the fridge leaning by the wall and grabbing a
box of Popsies.*

Devil Breath: Eh, it's probably a good idea to get some actual food in this
place. Y'know, to feed all the wayward souls you got in here! Ahahaha!
Ahaha...! eh... ah... *she closes the fridge door as she tries to comfort Charlie
but decides to back off*

[Charlie exits the hotel and tries to contact his father.]

Charlie: *sighs* Hey, Dad. I know I keep calling and you must be busy...
Really busy... But, um, the interview didn't go well, *shrinks to his knees*
and... I don't know if I'm ever going to make a difference *starts tearing up as
he wipes it off his face*. I don't know what I'm doing. I could really use some
advice, dad. I... I think mom was right about me... Ahah, oof. Eh, anyway...
*wipes his face once more* I'll stop talking before this gets long. *stands up*
Love you, bye...

[Charlie walks back in and leans by the door in defeat as a sudden knock can
be heard from the other side of the door, surprising Charlie.]

Charlie: *contemplates on whether or not to open the door but decides to open
it anyway*

[The mysterious figure watching his performance from before can be seen
standing before him and Charlie, knowing who she is, reacts with extreme
shock.]

Alice: Hel- *gets door slammed in front of her*

Charlie: *looks to the side for a brief moment before opening the door again*

Alice: -lo!

Charlie: *slams the door in front of her face once more* Hey, Dicky?

Dicky: *annoyed* Whaaaat?

Charlie: The Radio Demon is at the door!

Dicky: *sits up* What?!

Devil Breath: *takes out the popsicle from her mouth* Uh... who?

Charlie: What should I do?!

Dicky: Uh, well- Don't let her in!

[Charlie decides to disregard Dicky's advice once more and opens the door
for Alice.]

Alice: May I speak now?

Charlie: You may…

Alice: *reaches hand out* Alice! Pleasure to meet you, sweetheart! *pulls
Charlie towards her* Quite a pleasure! *lets herself in* Excuse my sudden
visit, but I saw your fiasco on a picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What a
performance! Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market
crash of 1929! Hahahahaha, *plays with her little staff* sooo many orphans...

Dicky: *holds a harpoon towards her chest* Stop right there, hija bastarda de
puta (bastard daughter of a bitch)! I know your game and I'm not gonna let you
hurt anyone here, you pompous cheesy *Devil's head pops in, unamused* talk
show shitlord!

Alice: *uses finger to move the harpoon away* Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone
here... *turns into her full demon form* I would've done so already...

[The screen distorts as Charlie and Dicky stare at her in fear.]

Alice: *snaps back to reality* No! I'm here because I want to help!

Charlie: Say what, now?

Alice: *repeats herself* Help! Hahaha hello? Is this thing on? *taps on her mic*
Testing, testing!

Alice's Mic: *opens her eye* Well, I heard you loud and clear!

Charlie: Um, you want to help? With...?

Alice: *teleports behind the two with her shadow* This ridiculous thing you're
trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it.

Charlie: Buuut... why?

Alice: Hahaha, why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I've
lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking focus,
*shoves Dicky offscreen* aimless! I've come to crave a new form of
entertainment! Hahahaha!

Charlie: Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment...?

Alice: Hahaha! It's the purest kind, my dear: Reality! True passion! After all,
the world's a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment.

Charlie: So, does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?

Alice: Hahahahaha! *shakes hand in front of him* Of course not! That's wacky
nonsense! *shakes head back and forth* Redemption, oh the non-existent
humanity! No, no, no, no. I don't think there's anything left that could save
such loathsome sinners! *looks over to Dicky who is offended and Devil who
just shrugs* The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is
this! *puts her arms out, gesturing the entirety of Hell* There is no undoing
what is done!

Charlie: So, then. Why do you wanna help me if you don't believe in my
cause?

Alice: I consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! *pulls

Charlie close to her and twirls him* I want to watch the scum of the world
struggle to climb the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down
to the fiery pit of failure!

Charlie: *removes her hand from his back* Riiiight.

Alice: Yes, indeed! *grabs him by the waist and drags him offscreen* I see big
things coming your way and who better to help you than I? *trails off*

Devil Breath: Uh, so... uh, what's the deal with Smiles over there?

Dicky: Wait, you'have you never heard of her before? You've been here longer
than me!

Devil Breath: *shrugs cluelessly*

Dicky: The Radio Demon. One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever
seen?

Devil Breath: *shrugs a second time* Eh, not big on politics.

Dicky: Ugh! *leans in on Devil Breath as he begins his story* Decades ago,
Alice manifested in Hell,
[Scene changes to a visual presentation of Dicky's story regarding Alice.]

Dicky: seemingly overnight. She began to topple Overlords who have been
dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by
a mortal soul before. Then, she broadcast her carnage all throughout Hell just
so everyone could witness her ability. Sinners started calling her "The Radio
Demon" (as lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force
enabled her to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one
thing's for sure: She's an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of
mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk
getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!

Devil Breath: Ya done? *Laughs dryly* She looks like a strawberry pimp.

Dicky: Well, I don't trust her!

Devil Breath: To be fair, do you trust any woman? Any women? Women?

Dicky: *grabs Charlie by the shoulder* Charlie, listen to me. You can't believe
this creep! She isn't just a happy face! She's a deal-maker! Pure evil! She
can't be redeemed! ...And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything
we're trying to do!

Charlie: I... *sighs* we don't know that! Look, I know she's bad, and I know
she probably doesn't want to change, but the whole point of this is to give
people a chance!

[Alice inspects a portrait of the royal family.]

Charlie: To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I
can't. It goes against everything I'm trying to do. Everything I believe in. *puts
hands on Dicky's shoulders* Just... trust me. I can take care of myself!

Dicky: Charlie, whatever you do, don't make a deal with her!

[Alice makes a gesture with her hand, seemingly focusing on Dicky.]

Charlie: Don't worry, I picked up one thing from my mom! *imitating her mom's
voice* "You don't take shit from other demons!" *walks off to where Alice is*
Charlie: Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm
trying to do here as a joke.

[As Charlie turns away, glowing red symbols start to appear beside Alice
which quickly disappear after Charlie turns back to Alice.]

Charlie: But, I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be
better. So, I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no...
*makes gestures with hands* tricks or voodoo strings attached.

Alice: So, it's a deal, then?

[As Alice rolls her eyes at that last statement, she twirls her small staff and
presents her hand for a handshake as green energy bursts throughout the
hotel.]

Charlie: *refusing her handshake* Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... As

prince of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this
hotel. For as long as you wish.

[A howling wolf can be heard in the background as Charlie looks over to Dicky
for approval.]

Charlie: Sound fair?

Alice: *rubs her chin* Hmm... *retracts her small staff* Fair enough!

Charlie: *sighs in relief* Cool beans.

Alice: Hmm hm hmm hmm... *continues to hum while looking around as she
stops in front of Dicky*. Smile, my dear! *tickles the underside of his chin* You
know you're never fully dressed without one! *Walks away as she continues
humming* So where is your hotel staff?

Charlie: Uh, well-

[Camera pans to Dicky who's staring at Alice dead in the eyes.]

Alice: *adjusts monocle* Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that.
*walks towards Devil Breath* And what can you do, my masculine fellow?

Devil Breath: I can lick your pussy!

[Mic feedback can be heard in the background as Alice tries to process what
she was just offered.]

Alice: HAH! No.

Devil Breath: *scoffs* Your loss.

Alice: Well, this just won't do! *takes out her small staff* I suppose I can cash
in a few favors to liven things up.

[At the snap of her finger, a new fireplace has replaced the hotel's worn down
one as she approaches it and picks up the mysterious figure covered in soot,
which then opens its eye and stares at the trio behind her.]

[Niff poofs off the soot from his body.]

Alice: This little darling is Niff!

Niff: *drops to the floor, unaffected* Hi, I'm Niff! It's nice to meet you! It's been
a while since I've made new friends! *eyes the three* Why are you all men?
*lifts Charlie with no effort* Are there any women here?! *puts Charlie down*
I'm sorry, that's rude. *looks around* Oooh, woman! This place is filthy! It
really needs a good touch! *grabs a spider and crushes it* Which is fair
because you're all men, no offense. *stares offscreen as he takes out a
feather duster* Oh, my gosh! This is awful! *he speed cleans throughout the
hotel* Nope!

[The four stare at Niff as a voice coming from an unknown cat demon can be
heard nearby.]

Huska: *lays her cards down on the table* Hah! Read 'em and weep, boys!
Full Ho- *demonic illusions and voices distort the surroundings temporarily* -
tel? What the fuck is this? *looks around and spots Alice, eliciting an angry
purr as she points at her* You!
Alice: Ah, Huskaa, my good friend! Glad you could make it!

Huska: Don't you "Huskaa" me, you bitch! I was about to win the whole damn
pot! *the jackpot disappears into nothingness*

Alice: Good to see you too!

Huska: *facepalms angrily* What the hell do you want with me this time...?

Alice: My friend, I am doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to

volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!

Huska: Are you shittin' me?!

Alice: Hmm... No, I don't think so!

Huska: *shoves Alice off* You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just
to pull me out of nowhere?! *camera pans to Alice dusting herself off* You
think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!

Alice: *grins as if she's about to laugh* Maybe!

Huska: I ain't doing no fucking charity job.

Alice: *teleports behind her through her shadow* Well, I figured you would be
the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment! *gestures
towards the bar she made out of her magic* With your charming smile *pulls
Huska's lips into a forced smile* and welcoming energy, this job was made for
you! Don't worry my friend, *walks over to the bar, revealing the soles of her
shoes to have deer prints* I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish.
*makes a bottle of "Cheap Booze" appear out of nowhere*

Huska: *stares at the booze for a second* What? You think you can buy me
with a wink *winks sarcastically* and some cheap booze?! *grabs the booze
and looks at it* ...Well, you can! *downs the booze*

Dicky: Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be
a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth…brothel…man cave!
Devil Breath: *Launches herself at Dicky from somewhere off screen* SHUT
UP! SHUT! UP! We *points to the bar with all her fingers* are keeping this!

Devil Breath: *starts flirting with Huska* Hey~

Huska: Go fuck yourself.

Devil Breath: *holds Huska's face* Only if you watch me!

Charlie: Oh, my gosh! Welcome to The Happy Hotel! You are going to love it
here! *tries to go for a handshake*

Huska: *reaches for her booze* I lost the ability to love years ago. *continues
to down her booze*

Alice: So, whaddaya think?

Charlie: This is amazing! *rubs his cheeks excitedly*

Dicky: *with crossed arms* It's... okay.

Alice: *reels the two towards her* Hahaha! This is going to be very
entertaining!

[She then lets go of Dicky and summons a fireball, launching it to the hotel
ceiling just so she could distract Charlie fast enough for her to shove Dicky
offscreen. She dresses herself in a dress and matching hat.]

Alice: ♫ You have a dream! *twirls Charlie and dresses him up* You wish to
tell! *turns to Dicky who's now on the floor* And it's just laughable *turns back
to Charlie and tosses him mid-air*. But, hey, kid, what the hell? ♫

[The background behind Charlie changes to neon colored lights featuring two
apples and a skull.]

Alice: ♫ *catches Charlie by the hand as they both tap dance together* 'Cause
you're one-of-a-kind! A charming demon prince! *The two slide down the
railing of the stairs* ♫
Alice: ♫ Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell! *dresses up the
rest of the hotel staff* Take it, boys! ♫

[Shadow demons appear from the floorboards and start playing their
instruments as Dicky tries to talk to Charlie who is having too much fun. Alice
pulls him in with her and the others as her shadow demons surround them.]

Shadow Demons: Boo!

Alice: ♫ Haha! Inside every demon is a lost cause! *puts a fedora on Devil's
head as she snaps her fingers back at Alice* But we'll dress 'em up for now,
with just a smile! *slaps Dicky's butt* ♫

Shadow Demons: ♫ With a smile! ♫

Alice: ♫ And we'll chlorinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair!
*kicks off skull which Niff rushes in and cleans off* And show these simpletons
some proper class and style! *summons a shadow clone of herself* ♫

Shadow Demons: ♫ Class and style! ♫

Alice: ♫ *snaps away her shadow* Oh! Here below the ground, *pinches
Charlie's cheeks* I'm sure your plan is sound! *holds hands with Charlie as
they both twirl* They'll spend a little time, down at this Hazbin Ho-

([The hotel door explodes, knocking Niff offscreen as Charlie, Alice, Devil
Breath, and Dicky look outside.]

([Miss Pentious' war ship has made an appearance outside the hotel.]

Miss Pentious: Ha! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak!
We meet yet again, Alice!

Alice: Do I know you?

Miss Pentious: *ego deflates* Oh, yes you do! *Hood flares open* And this
time, I have the element of- *pulls a lever* SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!
([With a snap of a finger, an otherworldly dimensional portal opens with
tentacles and shadow demons emerging from it, destroying Miss Pentious'
ship while she is inside. Alice can then be seen finishing it off as she clenches
her fist with a few drops of blood dripping off her hand. Alice is then shown
grinning menacingly in satisfaction for a moment as the others look at her in
shock and horror.]

Alice: *breaking the tension* ...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some
Jambalaya? My father once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In
fact, it almost killed him! Hahahaha! You could say the kick was right out of
Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down
here! The game is set! Now...

[Alice uses her magic for the last time in the episode to change the sign atop
the hotel from "Happy Hotel" to "Hazbin Hotel".]

Alice: (sinisterly) ...Stay tuned. Hahaha...!

[Miss Pentious is revealed to have survived the beating served by Alice along
with Egg Girl #23]

Egg Girl #23: Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?

[Miss Pentious collapses from exhaustion as the episode ends.]