Lily

A Next Generation Carter Brother Novella

Book 7
By Lisa Helen Gray
 Copyright ©
Copyrights reserved
2021
Lisa Helen Gray
Edited by Stephanie Farrant at Farrant Editing
Cover Design by Cassy Roop at Pink Ink Designs
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are all
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 FAMILY TREE
(AGES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE THROUGHOUT BOOKS)

Maverick & Teagan

- Faith (engaged to Beau)
- Lily (married to Jaxon)
- Mark
- Aiden (with Bailey)

Mason & Denny

- Hope
- Ciara
- Ashton

Malik & Harlow

- Madison (Twin 1)
- Maddox (Twin 2 – with Amelia)
- Trent

Max & Lake

- Landon (Triplet 1 – with Paisley)
- Hayden (Triplet 2 – with Clayton)
- Liam (Triplet 3)

Myles & Kayla

- Charlotte (with Drew)
- Jacob

Evan (Denny’s brother) & Kennedy

- Imogen
- Joshua
FAMILY TREE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
BONUS CHAPTER
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CHAPTER ONE
Lily
The crisp, cold scent of snow fills the air, combined with the delicious
aroma of roasted chestnuts, pulled pork, and mulled wine. There’s a pine
scent from the log burners set around the outdoor restaurant, adding to the
festive mood.
Lights of all kinds are wrapped around lampposts, decorating stalls and
strung up above us like an arch tunnel in the outdoor market. And in front
of the large, decorated Christmas tree, carols are being sung by a local
choir, which warms my heart. There are people rushing around to get last-
minute gifts, yet others—like me—want to soak in the atmosphere.
It’s my favourite time of year. The festivity, the cosiness, and
warmth, it brings back some of the best memories. My first Christmas is
still one of my favourites, even though each year, except last year’s, has
gotten better.
It’s my favourite because not only was it my first ever one, but it’s the
first one I got to spend with family. It’s the Christmas that made me realise
I wasn’t alone, that I was loved. It’s the first Christmas I got to truly
understand what it meant to belong. It was magical in all the best ways.
My thoughts drift off to that morning, to how my life changed that
day…
Faith gently shakes me awake, causing me to panic. I’m used to rough
hands, hard slaps, or being pulled roughly from bed, and although she
didn’t do any of those things, it still has my heart racing.
“What’s wrong? Did she come back for me?”
“You have to wake up,” Faith whisper-yells.
I rub the sleep from my eyes. It took me ages to fall asleep, so they feel
swollen and sore. “What’s happening? Do I need to leave?”
Her brows pinch together. “No, silly. It’s Christmas. It means Santa’s
been.”
Fear snakes down my spine. “Who is Santa? Will he hurt us?”
“It’s okay. He won’t hurt us. He brings good children
presents.”
Presents? Now some of the fog has left me, I vaguely remember them
talking about a Santa, but I didn’t know what they meant. I still don’t.
“What if you are bad?”
 She leans forward, cupping her mouth with one hand, and quietly tells
me, “You get put on a naughty list and get a lump of coal.” She sits back,
eyeing me. “I’ve never been on it. Have you?”
“I’ve never had Christmas.”
Her eyes go as round as saucers. “Never?”
“No. Is it because I was on the naughty list?”
She takes my hand, hers always warm and comforting. I love my new
sister. She makes me feel welcome and safe. And she lets me play with all
her toys. She has millions.
The door to our room opens and Maverick, my dad, steps inside. I call
him Dad, but sometimes it’s confusing because he’s also my brother. He
looks like he’s hurt himself as he watches me.
“Daddy, tell her about Santa again!”
I glance up at him. “Did I get put on the naughty list?”
He sits down beside me. “Princess, he just never got your address. But
everything you’ve missed, he’s made sure you got today, and he wants you
to know he’s very sorry. You’ve never been on any naughty list.”
I pucker my lips as something stirs in my stomach. I can’t make out
what it is; I’ve never felt it before. “What did he bring me?”
“Why don’t you come out and see? We’ve been waiting for you to wake
up.”
He lifts me into his arms, and I cling to him, loving his smell; it makes
me feel safe, at home. When we step into the living room, everyone jumps
up.
“Merry Christmas!”
My lower lip trembles and I sniff, wiping under my eyes. Dad runs his
hand down my back. “It’s okay. Shush, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Look what we got,” Faith yells, running over to the presents.
Mum laughs, swinging her up into her arms. “Not yet, squirt.”
“What are they?” I ask, placing my hand on Dad’s cheek until his gaze
meets mine.
He grins. “They’re presents. From Santa.”
“And me,” Uncle Max booms. He’s still wearing the silly pyjamas he
had on yesterday. They have a picture of a man with a white beard, wearing
a red hat, on the front.
Dad sighs. He does that a lot around my uncle.
 “What’s in them?”
“Why don’t you both open the big ones first. Those are from all of us,”
Myles calls, kicking my uncle Malik in the leg. I giggle when he shoots up,
holding his baby daughter tighter.
“What did I miss?”
“Wake up!”
“I’ve got twins, Myles, and Max woke us up at five.”
Everyone turns to Max. He shrugs while chewing on a piece of toast. “I
got excited; it’s Christmas.”
Dad places me down on the floor and takes my hand. Together, we walk
over to the big present covered in red, glittery paper.
“Would you like to open it?” Dad asks.
“What do I do?” I whisper, leaning into him.
He tears a little of the paper. “Now you
pull.”
“Ready?” Faith asks, her entire body vibrating with excitement as she
stands in front of hers.
“Go,” Dad orders softly.
I watch Faith tear into hers and I follow, my movements much slower,
and as I reveal more of what’s underneath, a weird feeling stirs in the pit of
my stomach. A smile stretches across my face, even as the weird flutter
grows. This is really fun.
Before I know it, giggles slip free.
All the paper isn’t removed, but I’ve opened it enough for me to see the
pretty doll house. It’s all set up, and Barbies are inside, like the ones I’ve
seen in Faith’s room.
I gaze at Mum and Dad, my lips parted. “Is this mine?”
“Yes, baby, this is yours.”
Max sits down next to me. “And there are more to come.”
I gape in wonder. “There is?” How can there be more?
“Yes, baby girl; there will always be more to come.”
“And I get to keep them?”
Mason sits down on the other side of me, baby Hope in his arms. “They
are yours. All yours. And no one is ever going to take them.”
“Do you like it?” Mum asks.
I rush into her arms, clinging to her as tears soak my cheeks. “I love
it.”
“You okay?” Dad asks, tucking my hair behind my ear.
 “Yes.”
“Then why are you crying, squirt?”
I turn to my uncle Malik, who spoke, as I point to Mason. “Because he
said no one will ever take them because they are mine.”
Max’s face scrunches up. “What do you mean?” he asks.
“You are all mine. That means I get to keep you. And no one will take
you away. She won’t take you away.”
Dad’s eyes mist over as he pulls me from Mum and places me in his
lap. “Never, sweet girl.”
“Because you are ours too, which means no one can take you away
from us,” Mason assures me.
“Or they’ll get beat up,” Max states, wagging his finger, and I giggle.
Faith turns from her present—a cool-looking horse that has its very
own stable—and slowly walks over to me. She places her hand over mine.
“We’re sisters. We will always be together. I promise.”

“Lily?” Mum calls, pulling me back to the present. I turn to

her, watching her through teary eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I rub my lower back as I move to the side, allowing last-minute
shoppers to pass us by. “I was just remembering our first Christmas
together.”
She rubs her hand over my large bump, grinning. “Best Christmas ever.
You were so excited once you realised you got to keep all your presents.”
We move forward and take a seat when a table becomes vacant at the
outside café. “I never thanked you.”
“For what?” she asks, looking up from her menu.
“For loving me. For being patient with me. For being my mum. For
giving me you and Faith.”
It could be the pregnancy hormones that’s making me feel nostalgic,
but I need her to know. She gave me everything. I didn’t realise just how
much my parents did until I carried this life inside of me. It made me
recognise that my biological mum’s abuse went deeper than I ever
imagined, because I can’t comprehend how she could do what she did to
her daughter, to her sons. She no longer matters though. What matters is
who I have now.
Mum’s eyes water as she reaches over. “What’s brought this on?”
 “Nothing. I guess with being pregnant and it being Christmas, it
brought up some memories. It made me realise how loved I really am; how
lucky I am. I want my son or daughter to feel like that every day.”
“They’ll have you for a mother. Of course they will.”
Maybe. I’m three days away from my due date and I couldn’t be any
more excited. This time next year, I’ll be out shopping for the little one. I
don’t think my heart can take any more happiness. I’m ready to explode
with it.
“Thanks, Mum.”
I wiggle in my seat, drawing Mum’s attention. I just can’t seem to get
comfortable. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m good. I think walking around has given me backache.”
“Are you sure?”
I grin at her mothering. “It’s Christmas Eve. I’ve not stopped since I
woke up earlier. I think rushing to get ready has done it.”
She chuckles. “I keep telling you pregnancy makes you sleepy. It’s
only a couple of days until your due date; you really should be taking it
easy.”
“I know, but it’s the only day they had free for me to pick up Jaxon’s
gift,” I explain, biting my bottom lip as my gaze goes to the bag at my feet.
“I think we should keep looking for something else.”
“He’s going to love them, honey. Stop panicking.”
“I hope so,” I murmur, my gaze going to my bump.
I have so many emotions running through me. Every time I feel him or
her move, every time I see my bump, all those emotions come flooding
tenfold. I’m having a baby. A family of my own—something I never
thought I’d have; something I’ve always been too scared to want.
Jaxon has given me so much. He’s healed a part of me no one else
ever could. It’s a part of me I always believed wasn’t worthy of love, that
didn’t belong.
He gave my life meaning.
He gave me the confidence to push through my insecurities.
He made my life fuller.
I’ve always been grateful for the family I have, for the love we share,
but Jaxon… with him, it’s different. It’s always been different.
And I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before.
So, I didn’t know what to give the guy who has given me everything.
How do I express all that I’m feeling with a gift or with words? I can’t. It’s
impossible. And no matter how hard I try to tell myself otherwise, I feel
like our first Christmas together will be ruined because of that.
“Lily, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Talk to me. I picked you up and you
were rushing around like a mad woman, and now you seem so lost. It’s
beginning to scare me.”
I shake myself out of my thoughts. “I’m sorry, Mum. I’m just worried
that what I have doesn’t quite express what I want it to. I need to get him
something special, and I feel like what I have for him doesn’t convey that. I
want tomorrow to be perfect,” I croak. “But how, if I’ve already ruined it?”
“Sweetheart, he’s going to love your gift. And Jaxon isn’t the guy who
needs material things. He loves you. And he’ll be happy with just that. And
I bet if you asked him this, he would say the same thing. The way he looks
at you…” She shakes her head before focusing back on me. “He loves you.
Being with you is all that matters to him.”
“I hope so,” I muse, wincing as the baby shifts into a weird position. “I
think the little one agrees with you.” I try to smile, but the pressure
intensifies, to the point I clench my teeth.
“The girls are back,” Mum tells me, glancing over my shoulder.
I breathe through the wave of pain as Kayla, Charlotte, and Hayden
weave in and out of the tables, heading towards us.
“Hayden, you can’t get him that. It’s not for him; it’s for you,”
Charlotte scolds, biting her bottom lip worriedly.
Hayden snorts as she throws her bag over the chair, taking a seat. “I am
a bloody Christmas present.”
“What’s going on?” I ask, my interest piqued.
Charlotte sighs as she turns to me. “This one bought a ribbon for
Clayton.”
My brows pucker. “A ribbon?”
Maybe what I have for Jaxon isn’t so bad.
“Tell her what the ribbon is going to be tied around,” Kayla comments,
grinning.
“Me,” Hayden answers proudly. “Anyone would be lucky to get me
wrapped in a bow on Christmas morning.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “How are you going to tie it around you?”
She shrugs. “I haven’t got that far yet, but if it looks shit, I’ll tell him a
T-rex wrapped me.”
“Very festive,” Mum comments.
 Hayden grins. “I thought so too.”
“Did you two get everything you needed?” Kayla asks, addressing me
and Mum.
“Yes, and don’t worry, Hayden, I got your dad some treats on our way
here, so he can stop sulking.”
I chuckle. Uncle Max is still convinced everyone is going to get
pregnant now that I am. I don’t think it helps when Hayden teases him,
saying he gave her permission to get pregnant the day she was kidnapped.
He denies it, but we all know he says crazy stuff when he feels too much
emotion.
I know Charlotte’s relationship with Drew is strong, and it won’t be
long until they start trying—unless they already have. It’s the same with
the others. I do know Faith wants to wait. She’d prefer to get her second
business up and running before they begin to try.
“I still can’t believe you blamed Lily for eating that sticky pudding
when it was you,” Charlotte comments, shaking her head at Hayden. “That
was low, even for you.”
Hayden shrugs. “He isn’t going to say anything to Lily.”
“It’s fine. Though he is beginning to worry me. Sometimes I feel like
he’s plotting something when he stares at me,” I comment.
“He’s just being sour. You should have been there when he found out
about Charlotte. I swear to you, he was insufferable.”
“What happened?” Hayden asks, grinning.
“Well…”
CHAPTER TWO
KAYLA
With a tissue balled in my fist and a bin on the floor next to the sofa, I
curl up in a ball, staring at the television playing a Hallmark movie. I can
barely see the screen as tears run down my cheeks.
I sniffle, and then blow my nose. “Why? Why couldn’t you just stay?”
I cry.
The key entering the front door has me panicking. I sit up, pulling the
blanket at my feet over my body, before quickly stuffing the empty food
wrappers into the bin. Max has been plotting lately, and I didn’t like the
look in his eyes when he left for work this morning. Technically, it isn’t
my fault we ran out of his favourite cereal. And really, it isn’t my fault his
snack drawer is empty. He never specified which ones were his.
When Myles steps inside, I relax, a smile lighting up my face. “Hey,
you’re home,” I greet.
He grins when he spots the state I’m in, and shakes his head. “Sad
movies? Again?”
I sigh, dropping my hands into my lap. “I can’t help it. They are like a
drug to me.”
“How are you feeling today?” he asks, sitting down next to me. His
hand goes to my belly and a flutter stirs inside.
We’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while. Watching everyone else
start their own families, it’s been hard, but after years of trying, we are
finally pregnant. The joy I feel, the love I have for our unborn baby, it’s
overwhelming.
“I’m good. I’m not sure how much longer we can hide it from the
others,” I admit, choking up a little when I remember the baby we
miscarried. It was hard being reminded by the expressions on loved ones’
faces, so this time, Myles and I have kept it to ourselves, wanting to make
sure we were over the twelve-week mark. We have passed that, but there is
still a chance something might happen, and it scares me. Soon, they’ll be
able to work it out. I already have a bump, which I’ve been managing to
hide with my clothes, but Max… sometimes I wonder if he has a sixth sense
for it and can smell the change.
 “We should tell them. We find out the sex in a few weeks, and they
should all be there for that. They’ll want to be there. But I understand if you
aren’t ready.”
I reach for his hand and squeeze it. “I’m just scared something bad is
going to happen.”
“Nothing is going to happen,” he promises, and reaches down to kiss
me. He pulls back, gently rubbing my stomach. “I love you.”
“I love you too, but can we tell them the day we find out the sex?” I ask
with a sheepish smile, willing to compromise. I know it’s been hard for him
to keep it a secret.
He grins. “Yes, okay.”
I reach up, wrapping my arms around him. “Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.”
“I hope you’re hungry because I ordered the Indian you’ve been raving
about having all day.”
I lick my lips as my stomach grumbles at the mention of food. “I’m
starving. The morning sickness has eased off and now I’m just craving
everything.”
He chuckles, the sound running down my spine like a caress. “Has Max
come back yet?”
I bite my lip. “No. And I got roped into watching Hallmark movies, so
I forgot to replace the snacks I ate.”
He shrugs. “Just tell him he ate them.”
I arch an eyebrow. “He doesn’t miss anything when it comes to food.”
“He does. Sometimes he forgets just how much he eats.”
I snort. “He’s your brother; you should know by now that he doesn’t
miss anything. The other day I had some Skittles out of the packet he left on
the side. He came down and started raving about how five were missing. He
even had them out and was counting them on the side.”
He runs a hand over his jaw. “He’s still learning to share?”
“He’s a twin. He was born to share,” I retort, chuckling. “But seriously,
what are we going to do?”
“Hope the Indian I ordered soothes his wounded stomach.”
“If not, we can tell him it’s payback for the cake you bought me—that
he ate.”
Suddenly, there’s a weird flutter in my stomach. I sit up, gasping.
“What’s wrong?” Myles asks.
 My eyes widen as I stare at him in wonder, the flutter happening again,
this time a little harder against the wall of my belly. “I think the baby is
moving.”
“Really?” he asks, placing his hand over my stomach.
I press his hand to where the flutter started, and moments later, a
stronger one happens, causing a ripple across my stomach. “Holy fuck!” he
chokes out, emotion clogging his throat.
Tears gather in my eyes as I stare at where our hands are joined. “It’s
really real,” I rasp.
He looks up, tears brimming his own eyes. “I swear to you, Kayla, I
will love you both for as long as I live and then some. I promise to be the
best father, and the best husband, you can wish for.”
I reach up and cup his cheek. “You already are.”
He leans in, pressing his lips to mine in a fiery kiss. All his kisses set
me on fire. It has never died down, no matter how many years have passed.
He is my forever. The love of my life. My family.
Noise from outside pulls our attention away from each other and the
moment.
“Oi, you fat prick; Mum said you stole her takeaway last night.”
My eyes widen in horror as I turn to Myles. “Max,” I gasp. “I told you
he didn’t order that food.”
“Do not come outside,” he warns, and I nod yet make my way to the
window to be nosey.
“Mate, I paid for it. It was mine. Why don’t you people learn,” Max
snorts, locking up his car.
Another car pulls up, and it’s a guy I recognise as one of the delivery
drivers for the Indian.
My attention goes back to the guy having a go at Max, just as he gets in
his face. “She couldn’t reorder as they had closed by the time she realised it
wasn’t coming.”
Max shrugs. “I don’t know what else to say, mate. It came to our door,
I paid for it, I ate it: it was mine. I don’t know what part your mum played
in it but tell her thank you from me.”
“I’m not your mate,” he growls. “And you owe her.”
“Don’t see how, as she never paid for it,” Max retorts, eyeing the
delivery guy warily as he begins to sniff the air. “Is that Indian?”
 I head to the door before Max decides to tackle the guy, grabbing the
money off the side on my way. It wouldn’t be the first time Max has gotten
into it with a delivery guy.
“Why don’t we calm down,” Myles interrupts, placing his hands up in
a calming gesture.
Please don’t get in the middle again.
“Why don’t you apologise to my mum,” the son snaps.
The delivery guy grins sheepishly as he reaches me. “I swear, I love
coming here to deliver. It’s always entertaining.”
“It’s one of the only places he hasn’t gotten us banned ordering
from,” I admit, handing him the money.
“My boss threatened to do that the last time one of the drivers came
back crying. But I offered to do this house.”
I chuckle. “There’s never a dull moment.”
“What happened this time?”
“From what I gather, Max stole someone’s takeaway again. He’s
always been under the notion that if he pays for it, it’s his.”
The guy shrugs. “It holds merit. Kind of.”
“Boy, are you serious? You’ve gone a step too far,” a woman shrills,
and I groan at the sight of the wicked witch neighbour we’ve been hoping
will move. Her children are hellions, but they aren’t the main reason we
want them to leave. We understand kids make noise. No, it’s her yelling at
all hours, whether it’s at her kids or her guy of the week, that we can’t cope
with. Ninety-nine percent of the time it escalates into a fight and the police
are called out. It’s a nightmare. And when she isn’t there, her kids play
music until the early hours. Her older ones think it’s okay to party like the
world ends tomorrow.
Max holds his hands up, trembling, and his bottom lip quivers. “Please
don’t spank me. I can’t deal with it,” he cries, and in a rush to get away
from her, he nearly falls over the wall separating ours and the other
neighbour’s garden.
“What the fuck?” the son jeers, staring wide-eyed at Max.
The mum is struck still as she stares at Max in confusion. “I—”
“Want to spank me. I was beat as a child, you know. I have PTSD. And
now you want to spank me. And not in the kinky way my woman likes.”
“I—”
 He dramatically turns to his twin. “She even has a wooden spoon. I
can’t deal,” he whispers loudly for everyone to hear.
My lips twitch as the delivery driver begins to laugh. “As entertaining
as this is, I need to go. Enjoy your meal.”
“Have a fun evening.”
He sends me a salute before making his way back to his car, dodging
Max and his theatrics.
“I’m in the middle of cooking,” the mum defends, glancing around at
the others watching on.
“You brought that spoon out here to hit me with it. Don’t think we
can’t hear you when your kids are naughty,” he cries, wiping tears from his
cheeks.
“Hey,” the kid snaps. “She doesn’t hit us.”
Max’s face sobers. “She should,” he retorts, before a loud cry
escapes him. “Why? Why? I’ve come home from work to have a relaxing
night in and now I’m going to be whipped.”
“I’m not going to hit you,” the woman cries, her face reddening as
other residents come outside to have a nose.
“Hey, what’s going on? You okay, son?” a neighbour from across the
road yells, narrowing his gaze on the mum and son.
Max turns to the neighbour, his lip quivering. “You see the spoon, do
you not? She’s going to spank me with it.”
“Mum, let’s go inside.”
“But—”
Max flinches, squealing like a two-year-old having a tantrum.
“Don’t hurt me.”
The son takes his mum’s arm and pulls her back whilst keeping an
eye on Max. Wise. As soon as I hear their door close, the tears on Max’s
cheek dry and he turns to the neighbours and bows. “I’m here all week,
guys.”
Some chuckle, used to his theatrics. Myles, on the other hand, clips him
around the ear. “I thought it was about to kick off.”
“Like you would have gotten involved. You’ve got a career to build.”
It’s true. Myles is working part-time and doing full-time university
classes. He has a lot of work to do before he can become a qualified social
worker. Luckily, his job is in that field, so he’s learning whilst working.
“Food,” Max grumbles, glancing down at the bags.
 I snort and head into the kitchen, placing the bags down on the table.
“Is anyone else coming for dinner?”
“Lake is with her mum and brother right now. He has another hospital
appointment and she wanted to be there.”
I nod, then lean in to kiss Myles when he hands me the plate. “Ohh,
Korma aloo kufta,” Max gushes, practically foaming at the mouth.
“Mine,” I warn him.
“But I always get it.”
“No, you always get Dhamaka chicken.”
Max glares at his brother. “She doesn’t even like the Korma aloo.”
“They only had one left and it’s what she asked for. She also had tikka,
so I got you a Balti.”
“I don’t want a Balti. I want the korma aloo.”
When he goes to grab it, I snatch it back. “No. And don’t think you are
taking any of my veggie rice either.”
His eyes widen as he drops down in the chair. “You can’t be serious.
You won’t eat all of that. You barely eat one meal, and you have about a
thousand here. It won’t hurt you to give me the aloo if all I’ve got is the two
other ones.”
“Don’t forget your rice, naan bread, chips, and onion bhajis,” Myles
declares, reaching for a glass.
“Please,” he pleads, fluttering his lashes at me.
“No, Max. Last week you ate the last nugget in my box.”
“It was a share box,” he argues.
“But it was mine.”
“You were throwing up in the toilet. I didn’t want it to go to waste.”
“The answer is no,” I tell him, stabbing my fork into the rich potato.
He licks his lips, following the movement. “This is so stingy. And not
fair. Everyone knows I have that.”
“It was the last batch for the night. They’ve had a busy day and the
stock delivery doesn’t come in until tomorrow morning.”
“And you give it to your wife? Why? I’m your fucking twin. Does that
mean nothing to you?”
“Not particularly,” Myles mutters.
“And you,” he declares, pointing his finger at me. “Since when do you
not share with me? I’m your favourite. The only people who don’t share in
this family are the stingy fuckers who get pregnant.”
 Suddenly, he scrapes his chair back, still pointing his finger at me as he
inhales sharply. “No!”
“Max,” I soothe, needing him to calm down. I can feel the blood drain
from my face because now that he knows, the world will know.
He turns to his brother, the same accusation in his eyes. “No!”
“Max, stop being a drama queen.”
“How could you do this to me?”
“Pretty sure I did it to Kayla.”
Max glares. “Not the point I was getting at. You know how it’s been.”
“Max, you are just being sensitive.”
He snorts, rolling his eyes. “I cannot believe this. It’s true, isn’t it?”
“Max.”
“I’ll die,” he rants. “I’ll fucking die of starvation and none of you
fuckers care because God forbid your wife doesn’t eat the last cheese
cracker.” I duck my head, not wanting him to see the guilt there. “Oh my
God, you actually ate the last cheese cracker.”
“We’ve not been shopping,” I defend.
“I can’t believe this. I bet all the others fucking knew too. This is why
you’ve been eating all my food.”
“Our food,” Myles mutters, still dishing up his plate.
Max goes to grab my Korma aloo, but I snatch it back, glaring. He
holds his hands up in surrender. “I eat my feelings when I’m anxious.”
“It’s not you pregnant. And we aren’t telling the others, Max, not yet.”
“Like they aren’t going to find out,” he snorts.
“I can’t believe you are getting this worked up over it. It’s not like it’s
Lake who’s pregnant.”
“I wrap it, unlike some,” Max retorts. “And she wouldn’t steal my
food. She lives to please me.”
“Of course,” I mutter, plying more food onto my plate. My mouth
waters at the aromas, and my stomach rumbles with hunger.
“We’re twins. She could have twins. She’ll be feeding for three then.”
Max narrows his gaze on his brother. “Why the fuck would you curse
that kind of shit on me? If Lake and I have a kid, it will be one. Just one.
She wouldn’t do that to me. You guys can have a football team, but no
thank you. Not me. I’m looking out for number one and Lake is on board
with that. She understands that no one touches my food, unlike you
crazies.”
 My bottom lip quivers and his eyes begin to widen. “I’m pregnant,
Max. Pregnant. You know what this means to me; how long we’ve been
waiting after the doctors said it might not happen again for us. You were
there with us. Why can’t you be happy for me?”
He sags in defeat. “I am happy. I’ll love it no matter what.”
“My baby isn’t an it,” Myles snaps.
Max turns from Myles to me, then sighs. “I’m going to give you some
breathing room. I need some breathing room. This is huge news, and I need
to process it.”
“Again, not you having the baby.”
“But it’s my food she’ll be eating,” he snaps, before exhaling. “I’m
sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll be back. Please, just—just don’t eat my food before I
do.”
He heads to the front garden in a huff. I drop my fork, turning to
Myles. “He’s going to tell everyone.”
He leans back in his chair to peek out the window. “He’s telling God
first, by the looks of it.”
I can hear him ranting about how unfair it is, but I tune him out, taking
Myles’ hand. “It’s all going to be okay, right?”
“Yeah, and if you want, we can lock Max in the cellar until the next
scan.”
The thought holds merit. “I’ll think about it.”
As the evening wears on, and sleep threatens to pull me under, Myles
and I make our way to bed. Max can be heard screaming, even through the
double glazing, so we head over to the window, pulling back the curtain.
“We need to get him to a psych ward,” an officer yells as he pins Max
down on the front of the car.
“I just want my damn food,” Max moans. “You are all
crazy.” I bite my lip. “Um, maybe we should go and
explain.”
Myles shrugs, dropping the curtain. “He might think about his life
choices.”
I sigh. “I’ll let Lake know he hasn’t been murdered.”
He grins as he places his hands over my stomach. “You are going to be
a fantastic mum.”
I melt into him. “And you’ll be a great father.”
And I know with my whole heart that, together, we will raise beautiful
and loving children. I know it in my bones. Because they are a part of
Myles. And I don’t know anyone as beautiful and loving as him.
CHAPTER THREE
Lily
Charlotte drops the bags on the doorstep before turning back to the
street, where Mum is still parked.
“See you in a bit, honey. Don’t do anything until I’m
back.” I smile at her worried words. “I promise, Mum.”
Kind of.
“Later,” she calls, before driving off.
We wave goodbye to our mums and Hayden before both of us finally
let out a breath.
“That was intense, even for Christmas Eve,” Charlotte breathes out.
Hayden got into it with a woman who picked up the last leather jacket
on the rack at the same time as her. Luckily, no one called security, and
everyone remained unharmed as Hayden left the store with the jacket. But
for a moment there, I really thought we were going to have to wait for her
to be released from the police station after Christmas.
As exhausting as the day has been, it’s been good catching up with
them. Lately, everyone has been preoccupied and we haven’t seen much of
anyone. Tomorrow can’t come quick enough because we are all spending
the day together, including Jaxon. I want to make it as special as I can for
him, since this is our first Christmas together.
However, my day isn’t over. I have other things I need to do before
our guests arrive. I’ve invited Blanche and the kids over to open their
presents as I won’t see them tomorrow. Blanche can’t make it, but before
she leaves to visit her friend in the care home, she’s dropping the kids off
with me.
Mum and Dad are coming too, since they have gotten close to the kids.
They want to be here for when they open the presents they’ve bought them.
So instead of eating takeout and watching Christmas movies this year, I’ll
be hosting a small get-together with finger foods.
“My back is killing me,” I admit.
She chuckles before glancing over at the girl leaving Blanche’s house. I
wave to the pretty brunette, recognising her as the girl Miah has been
studying with. Jaxon says ‘studying’ like it means something else though.
“Have you seen the kids yet? I bet they are excited.”
 “I haven’t yet. But Blanche is going to bring them over later. I’m
hoping to get a chance to spend time with Jaxon after. I miss him. I didn’t
plan on being gone this long.”
Her expression softens. “He has been working a lot. Did you want me
to stay?”
“He has,” I grumpily admit. “Thank you for the offer, but it will be
fine. He shouldn’t be long.” I take a deep breath. “What are you doing
later?”
“I’m going to Drew’s dad’s house. They do a little party or something
on Christmas Eve, with Chinese takeout, and since he’s willing to spend
most of Christmas Day with our family, I don’t want to let him down
tonight, which is why I said I can’t make it tonight. I’ll drop the kids’
presents off before I leave though.”
I smile. “Sounds fun,” I tell her, right as a sharp twinge vibrates
through my stomach. “Oh, that was a strong one.”
“You okay?”
I take a deep breath before nodding. “Yeah, but I think I need to sit
down for five minutes.” I begin to search my bag for my keys, grimacing as
the baby presses down on my bladder.
She clears her throat, nervously running her shoes along the mat.
“What’s it like?”
I glance up at her. “What do you mean?”
“Being pregnant. What’s it like?”
I drop my bag to my side and beam at her as flutters erupt throughout
my stomach. The baby moves less and less lately, but when he or she does,
it hurts something fierce. Still… “It’s the best feeling in the world. It hasn’t
all been pleasant. You know about all the morning sickness. But I…” I stare
down at my bump, my lips tugging into a wide smile. Emotion swells inside
me as I let everything I’m feeling bubble to the surface. “It’s a love like
I’ve never felt before.”
“What do you mean?”
I wipe under my eyes as I shrug. “I can’t explain it. I love you guys. I
love my parents. And I love Jaxon. But this baby… I’ve not even met him
or her, and there’s this strong, overpowering sense of love already, and
it’s like nothing I can describe.”
“That’s amazing,” she whispers, and hearing the broken sound to
her voice, I step closer.
 “Are you okay?”
She shakes her head and lets out a sniffle. “We aren’t trying. Not yet
anyway. But I’m scared it’s never going to happen for me.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t imagine you ever not being a mum, Charlotte. There
are other ways to have a child. Look at me. I’m adopted by my biological
brother. He’s the best parent I could ever wish for. The only one I’ve ever
known. And the love he and Mum showered me with? I couldn’t have
asked for more. I really couldn’t. They made me theirs, Charlotte. They
gave me love, a home. And one day, no matter the circumstance, you’ll
have a child that I have no doubt you’ll shower with the same kind of love.
There is no doubt in my mind.” I take a deep breath before taking her hand
in mine. “Whether you conceive or not, you’ll be a mother one day. And
when that day comes—because it will—you’ll be a fantastic mother.”
She pulls me in for a hug, and for a moment, I stiffen, before I relax,
hugging her back. “Thank you, Lily. Thank you.” She sniffles, letting
me know my words affected her.
“You don’t have to thank me,” I declare, squeezing her a little tighter.
She pulls back, one hand on my stomach. “I do. And I need to
apologise. I wasn’t the most congratulative when you announced your
pregnancy.”
I don’t want to remind her of what happened, but it needs to be
said because I don’t want her to feel guilty for something unwarranted.
“You were going through a lot back then, Charlotte.”
Her gaze drifts off for a moment, and for a second, I feel like I’ve lost
her, but then she shakes her head, pulling herself back to the present. “No, I
was jealous. And I’m sorry. I—”
My heart breaks as her expression crumbles. “Charlotte, please, you
don’t need to explain yourself to me.”
She wipes under her eyes. “Yes, yes I do. Because it wasn’t kind of
me. It’s been months and months and I didn’t know how to bring it up. I
wasn’t sure if I would say the wrong thing, like I’m probably doing right
now.”
“You don’t need to apologise to me.”
“But—”
I close my eyes as a wave of pain hits me. I know exactly how she
feels; to want something so bad, it consumes you. “I’ve been jealous too.”
 “What?”
I meet her gaze, and I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’ve been
jealous. Of you. Of a lot. My earlier years are people’s worst nightmares. I
close my eyes and I feel their hands, their touch. I smell the scent of smoke,
taste the beer, or the stench of it, on their breaths, even in their pores. I still
get those fears. And although most of it feels like a nightmare, I know they
aren’t figments of my imagination. They are real.
“I envied Faith when I first met her. I glanced at all she had, even
though most of it ended up lost in the fire, and I wondered what I did wrong
to only get a blanket on the floor. It confused me. All I had known was
sadness and fear. But I… Mum read to me whilst Dad held me in his arms
the first night I stayed over, and I felt safe for the first time in my life.”
“Lily,” she calls softly, letting out a sigh. “You don’t need to—"
“We are all guilty of jealously, Charlotte. Of envy. You want what you
want and there is no guilt in that,” I remind her. “I’ve watched you all grow.
I’ve watched how you were loved and doted on. I heard the laughter when
you were happy, the soothing sounds of comfort when you were sad, and
I’ve heard words of encouragement when you’ve struggled. Even in our
worst moments, our parents have made sure they said and did the right
things. They were parents. But for a short time in my life, I didn’t get to
witness that. I never got to feel it until Mum and Dad took me in. But you…
you see the world differently from all of us, including me. I envied that. I
got so jealous every time you picked yourself back up and carried on. Every
time you smiled at a stranger. Every time you came back with another
drunken escapade story. Every time you opened your heart to people.”
“I don’t understand.”
I feel the weight of my words before I even say them. They are words
I’ve wanted to say out loud for a while now. Everyone probably already
knows, but not from my lips. “Because I held back from living. I love you
all fiercely. I always have. Sometimes so much I’m scared I’m going to
wake up and be back on that floor with that tattered blanket. I know how
depraved this world can be. I bared witness to heinous acts. And I gave up
on seeing the world for what it can be, to see what you see, because of the
unfairness I lived as a child. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve
watched you overcome things and still manage to see the world as you do.
I’m jealous of that. I hate that there’s a constant fear of everything beyond
my four walls. It held me back. But nothing has ever held you back.”
 She glances down at the ground. “I didn’t know.”
“You once said to me you wished you could be more like Hayden,
because she’s strong she seems unbreakable. I get that. I wanted to be you
so many times I lost count. I wanted to be able to look at the world
through your eyes. To trust implicitly.” I wipe my cheeks. “God, I’m
sorry. I never meant to get this deep. I’m just feeling emotional today.”
“I’m sorry for bringing this up. I didn’t mean to bring up painful
memories for you. I didn’t mean for any of this.”
“Don’t be. I love you. And I don’t want you to feel guilty over this. I
need you to understand that it’s okay to want those things. It’s okay,
Charlotte. And one day, you’ll have those things. I promise.”
“Thank you,” she chokes out. “Thank you for always being here for
me.”
For the first time, I initiate the touch, and pull her in for a hug. “You’re
welcome. And I really am sorry about going on. I’ve just been feeling
sentimental lately.”
“It’s the baby,” she tells me, her hand rubbing over my bump one last
time. Her phone beeps, alerting her of a message, and she pulls back. She
laughs when she glances down at the screen. “Drew sent me a picture of the
cats. Katnip has knocked over the glitter lamp and glitter has gone all over
the black shirt he was planning to wear tonight.”
“Go and sort your cats out,” I tell her, laughing lightly at the picture
she shows me.
“I’ll come and wait inside with you. You really do need to get off your
feet. I shouldn’t have kept you standing out here in the cold.”
I place my hand on her arm. “It’s fine. It was me talking your ear off.
You get going and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
She nods and picks her bags up from the floor. Before she can get
down the step, I call out her name. She turns, arching an eyebrow. “You
okay?”
“I really did mean what I said. Never give up on your dreams,
Charlotte. They make you who you are. And that’s what makes you
special.”
She beams, and a change overcomes her as she stands a little taller.
“Thank you,” she cheers. “And I won’t. I promise.”
 “Merry Christmas,” I call out as she turns to leave.
“Merry Christmas. And I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I watch her head around the corner before resuming my task of finding
my keys.
Maybe I didn’t pick them up again.
“Where are you?” I wonder, wishing I could drop the contents all over
the floor. But I know if I did, there would be no getting back up off the
floor.
A car pulling up has me pulling away from my task. I breathe out a
sigh of relief when I see Jaxon pull in.
He takes my breath away as he grins at me. It never fails to undo me.
Every time I look at him, my heart aches from the overwhelming love I
have for him.
“What are you doing out in the cold?” he scolds.
My shoulders drop. “I’ve lost my keys again.”
His grin spreads as he shakes his head. When he reaches me, he pulls
me into his arms, kissing me breathlessly. I drop my bag to the floor,
cupping his cheeks as I kiss him back. I’ll never get tired of his kisses. They
seem to pour energy into me. And when he pulls back, I want more, missing
the contact.
“I’ve missed you,” he breathes, gently rubbing my stomach.
“I’ve missed you too,” I tell him, breathing in his spicy cologne. “Did
you have a good day?”
“It was okay. Reid still isn’t back. He went out on a bender after
dropping off a delivery so he can’t drive back until the early hours of the
morning, if not tomorrow if he keeps drinking. I left the others to finish up
at the office.”
My eyes widen when realisation hits me. “He’s going to miss
Christmas.”
He sighs. “Mum is going to kill him.” He steps back, glancing down at
the bags. “Did you have a good day?”
I bite my lip when my gaze goes to all the bags. I may have gone a
little overboard since we did everyone else’s presents together. But Hayden
insisted I get the underwear, stating once I’ve had the baby, and we get the
all clear to be intimate, Jaxon will want to ravish me. She said it will give
him something to look forward to. I blush at the reminder and try to reach
for the bags before he does. “I’ll get those,” I squeak, not wanting him to
see his present.
I’m still embarrassed about one of them, unsure whether to give it to
him or not, but it’s what Charlotte’s friend Harriet recommended. I’m just
not sure how Jaxon will feel about it now it’s done.
He looks up from where he’s bent down, and grins. “I won’t peek, I
promise.”
I sag with relief. “Okay.” We step inside, and I pull my hat and gloves
off, dropping them down on the bench next to the door. “And I had a good
day. Aunt Kayla told me about the day everyone found out she was
pregnant.”
I quickly run through the story, and Jaxon’s eyes widen at the end. “So,
he got sent to a psych ward?”
“Evidently it was his first time there, which is surprising. The others
found out and wanted to see it for themselves, so they went to visit him. He
had already driven the staff crazy.”
“And they most likely wanted to take pictures, since he’s always
pranking them.”
I giggle as I remember the story. “Yes. Well, Max kept warning them
that a baby would soon be coming, and that Kayla would steal all their
food. They put two and two together, and everyone knew before the night
ended that she was pregnant.”
“I guess everyone has stories,” he murmurs, pulling me into his arms.
“Maybe we shouldn’t tell ours: that you found out seconds before we
were trapped in a burning house,” I tease.
His gaze darkens before he glances down at me. “It doesn’t take away
from the moment you told me, or that it’s the second-best day of my life.”
“What is your first?” I ask, lowering my lashes.
“The day you said, I do.”
Tears warm my cheeks as a few slip free. This time last year, I was
falling into a sea of emptiness. I felt void, and for a moment, I feared I’d
always feel that empty. “I love you, Jaxon.”
He ducks his head, meeting my gaze as he lifts my chin up. “Then why
the tears?”
“Because this year we get to spend Christmas together. Last year…” I
close my eyes, wondering why I’m thinking about it.
 “Lily,” he calls, and a resigned sigh follows. He knows what I’m
thinking too.
I blink up at him through my wet lashes. “This year isn’t going to be
anything like last year.” I sniffle as I try to pull myself together. “I have a
husband, and a baby due soon. I’ve never been happier. I’ve got a life I
didn’t know I wanted. I’ve been granted a wish I never knew I made.”
He presses his lips against mine, groaning as I melt against him, sliding
my tongue against his. He pulls back, resting his forehead against mine.
“Why do you say these things when I can’t take you to bed and fuck you
the way I want to.”
Heat floods my cheeks. “The doctor told you at our last appointment
that it’s still okay. You just can’t be, you know…”
His body shakes with soft laughter as he gently grips my cheeks. “The
baby isn’t the reason I can’t fuck you right now. We have people arriving,
and I’d prefer not to be interrupted by your damn brother or uncle again.”
I bite my lip to stop the laughter from spilling out. I press against him
—as much as I can with my stomach in the way. After a quick glance at the
clock, I smile. “We have nearly two hours before they arrive.”
His pupils dilate as he stares down at me with hunger. “Then I’d best
give my wife what she wants.”
Laughter spills out of me as he tucks one hand behind my back and one
under my legs before sweeping me up into his arms.
Definitely going to be the best Christmas ever.
CHAPTER FOUR
Lily
Soft laughter flows up the stairs to my room, stirring me awake. For a
moment, I forget about the sound of voices, and smile to myself as I burrow
down into the blanket, where I’m still naked from our earlier activities.
Even now, as I close my eyes, I savour every moment we shared as it
plays back in my mind. My entire body heats like a summer’s day as I
recall every touch and caress. How he loomed above me, fighting not to go
harder, even though my body screamed for him to do it. Ever since we
found out about the baby, he has pulled back, not wanting to accidently hurt
either of us. Still, each moment is as special as the last.
I run my finger along my lips, still feeling the buzz and swelling from
us kissing. Just the reminder of how his kisses ignite a fire inside of me has
my stomach fluttering.
I roll my head to the side, spotting Jaxon’s side empty. I place my hand
there, feeling the cool cotton beneath my fingers. He’s been gone awhile.
Then my mum’s voice reaches me, and I struggle to sit up, panicking
as I remember I’ve got people coming over. I glance at the time as I finally
make it up, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“No,” I whisper, seeing it’s almost time for the guests to arrive.
I quickly grab my underwear before grabbing the maternity bottoms
and jumper, slinging it over my head.
As I go to leave though, I catch myself in the mirror and grimace. My
hair is a knotted mess, proof of Jaxon running his fingers through it and me
sleeping for an hour.
I quickly sweep it up into a messy bun before leaving the room. I reach
the top of the stairs as a sharp pain tightens my lower abdomen. I bite on
my lower lip, keeping the cry of pain inside as I grip the banister tighter.
It fades as quickly as it comes and I take a moment to gather myself,
taking deep yet slow, steady breaths. I glance down as I run my hand over
my bump. “You need to slow down, little one. It will be time to come out
soon and you can kick and punch your arms out all you like,” I soothe.
I take my first step down as Jaxon rounds the corner. I’m not going to
tell him the kicks are becoming more painful. He’ll only worry and fuss.
And right now, I want to make these next few days about him, about us, and
our family. I want to make up for last Christmas and the time we missed
together.
“Hey, did you have a good nap?” he asks, keeping his voice low and
gentle.
My cheeks flood with heat and I open my mouth to reply, but then I
smell it. The smell of burnt food. “Did something burn?” I ask, my nose
scrunching up as we reach the bottom. My eyes widen. “No. The food. I
need to cook the food. It’s not going to be ready in time now. What am I
—”
“Take a breath. Your mum messaged me on my way home earlier and
said you had been on your feet all day and to make sure you rested until she
got here to help with setting up. I left you sleeping so me and your mum
could get started.”
He rubs the back of his neck, glancing away as I step into the kitchen.
Mum holds a towel to her chest, grimacing. My kitchen is a mess. The
finger bites of different foods I bought, lay on a tray, burnt to charcoal. My
lip trembles. “I ruined Christmas Eve.”
“What?”
“I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. I haven’t even got your dessert made. I
had planned on baking you a pie for later, for after everyone went. And now
I won’t have time. How am I going to feed people?”
“I ordered pizza and Chinese,” Jaxon rushes out, pulling me into his
arms. “I’m sorry I burnt the food. Me and your mum got talking about the
baby and we forgot the time.”
“We’re sorry, sweetie.”
“I don’t know why I’m crying,” I blubber, swiping the tears away.
Jaxon pulls me into his arms. “I’m always crying lately.”
Mum laughs softly as she steps in front of me. “It’s your hormones.
They’ll be a little all over the place, more so after you’ve given birth. It will
pass.”
“I feel silly,” I admit, clutching Jaxon tighter. “I wanted tonight and
tomorrow to be perfect and I’m letting it get to me.”
“I ordered food,” Jaxon repeats. “And you know your family love
takeout. They would never say no.”
“I know,” I whisper, my shoulders dropping in defeat. Willa
suddenly meows, jumping down from the counter, and I giggle as I take
in the salsa smudged into her nose. “Um, what happened to Willa?”
 Mum grimaces as she sweeps the cat into her arms. “I dropped the
bowl of salsa, and she shoved her face in it before I could stop her. Then
she ran before I could wipe it off and has been hiding ever since.”
I reach for her, taking her in my arms before reaching for a towel. “I’ve
got her, Mum.”
“Your dad should be arriving shortly. Your uncle Max and Lake are
coming. They have presents for the kids too.”
I smile as my stomach flutters. “Maddox and Amelia are still coming,
too, with the kids. He said he can’t stay long tomorrow as he promised
Amelia he’ll be having dinner with her parents. But he’ll be coming back
on the night to see everyone.”
The doorbell goes and my eyes widen as I take in the room. Mum
laughs at my expression. “I’ll clean this up. You go answer the door.”
I nod, handing Willa to Jaxon once I’m happy all the sauce is off, then I
waddle down the corridor and pull open the door.
Star runs into me before I can greet them, clutching my legs in a hug. I
laugh as she drops her head back, staring up at me. “Merry Christmas,” she
yells, smiling wide.
I run my hand over her dark locks. “Merry Christmas, Star. I guess I
don’t need to ask if you’re excited for Santa, huh.”
She beams even wider. “Nuh uh. This year is going to be even better
than last year. We have so many friends now, so we get so many visitors
and presents.”
My heart warms at her words. She has blossomed into a courageous,
confident little girl over the past year. Seeing her shine as bright as her
namesake is a treasure to witness. She is no longer the same little girl who
jumped at every noise in my class. She is growing, and along with it, so is
her personality. I couldn’t be prouder of her.
I run my hand over her locks again. “Yes, you do. We have some
presents for you too, but you can open them later when everyone gets here.”
She pumps her fist into the air. “Yes!”
She wiggles her bum as she heads inside, yelling to Jaxon, who places
Willa on the floor. I turn to Miah. “You excited too?” I tease.
He gives me his normal frowny face, but I don’t take offence, knowing
he isn’t as detached as he pretends to be. He wouldn’t be here otherwise.
He loves his sister, and I know he loves us.
“Yeah, ecstatic,” he grumbles, and I laugh at his lack of enthusiasm.
 “Don’t worry, I got you something too.”
“Yay, more socks,” he mutters, and I laugh at the running joke from last
year. A lot of people bought him socks or boxers. If he didn’t get those, then
he got an Africa Lynx set. I guess teenage boys are harder to buy for. This
year, we know him a little better, so it has been easier to buy him things.
Blanche stops at the door, smiling at the kids. “I’m sorry I have to dash
off. The children picked out your gifts. Miah has them.”
That is the sweetest. “Blanche, I told you not to go to the trouble.
Thank you ever so much.”
She snickers wickedly. “Jaxon got socks. But don’t tell him.”
I lean against the doorframe. “He’s going to love them,” I tell her, then
remember her gift. “Oh, wait, I have something for you too.” I reach over to
the cabinet and grab the Christmas bag, then hand it to her. “It’s not much,
but I hope you like them.”
She gently takes the bag from me. “Lily, you really didn’t need to do
this.”
I wave her off. “I wanted to.”
She closes her mouth, seeming lost for words. After a moment, she
clears her throat. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome. And Merry Christmas.”
She squeezes my hand. “You too. I hope you all enjoy your evening
together.”
“And you. I’ll see you later when we drop the kids off.”
We quickly say our goodbyes, and once she’s down the path, I close
the door behind her. Just as it clicks shut, another wave of pain hits me. I
breathe heavily, clenching my teeth together.
Jesus, that is sharper than the last one.
“You okay?” Miah asks, startling me.
I straighten, trying my hardest not to let tears form. “Yeah, just a kick,”
I tell him, knowing he’s used to it now after Star made him feel my
stomach earlier on in my pregnancy so he could feel the baby kick. It
freaked him out so much he couldn’t even look at my stomach. I inwardly
chuckle at the memory.
He cringes as he stares at my stomach. “The book said the baby’s
movements lessen towards term,” he points out.
I smile; I can’t help it. “You read the book?”
 He shoves his hands into his coat pocket and looks anywhere but at me.
“There was nothing else to do when we had that blackout. I got bored.”
I arch an eyebrow but don’t question him further. The blackout
happened months ago, and because I didn’t have enough candles to go
around both houses, I invited them here to wait it out. Me, Jaxon, and Star
put together a puzzle. Blanche did her crosswords and Miah played on his
phone until the battery died. I guess he didn’t fall asleep like I assumed
when we left him in the living room.
“Did you need Blanche? Because she just left,” I tell him, jerking my
thumb to the door.
He holds a snowflake-patterned bag up, his cheeks turning pinkish.
“No, I forgot to give you this when I came in. Star forgot about it at the
house. She was excited to get here so I picked it up for you.”
I lean over, taking him off guard, and kiss his cheek. “Thank
you.” “Star got it. Not me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I tease.
Just as I’m about to head into the living room, the door knocks again,
so I turn and pull it open, to be greeted by Dad and the others. “Hey,
princess.”
“Dad,” I murmur, hugging him back as he pulls me into his arms.
“Merry Christmas.”
“I smell burnt food,” Max declares, his face scrunched up in utter
disgust. “Why does it smell like burnt food?”
“I ordered in so don’t have a hissy fit,” Jaxon warns him, coming
up behind me as I pull back from Dad. “And before you moan, I got a
bit of everything from the Chinese and pizza place.”
Aunt Lake walks in next with a few bags, Landon and Paisley
following. “Are those gingerbread houses?” I ask in awe.
Paisley grins. “I found some.”
Landon snorts. “She nearly tackled an old lady for them.”
Paisley ducks her head to hide her blush. “I did not. I saw them first.”
We’ve been looking everywhere for some for Star and Jasmine to do
tonight. “I couldn’t find them anywhere. They’ve been out of stock.”
“Yeah, we found some at the market. The stall owner found a box on
his van and had just got the last two out when we saw them.”
“Thank you,” I tell her, going to take them from her hands, but Jaxon
swoops in, taking them before I can.
 “Go sit down and rest. I’ll bring you an orange juice out.”
I lean up, cupping his cheek. “Thank you.”
He presses a kiss to my lips, ignoring the groans of protest going on
from behind. My cheeks heat as I pull back and lead them into the front
room.
Dad props down beside me, seeing the new decorations I put up last
week. “You went all out.”
“It’s our first Christmas. I wanted it to look festive.”
“Jesus, did Santa’s elves fart decorations in here?” Max complains as
he walks in.
Lake smacks him upside the head. “Sit down and shut up.”
He grumbles as he flops down on the chair. “So, when are we giving
the kids presents?”
“Not everyone is here yet. Maddox is coming with Amelia and the
kids,” I explain softly.
“They’d better hurry up. I’m starving.”
“You’ve had Chinese,” Lake points out.
“Yeah, and that pizza will do for dessert.”
“I’m going to go say hi to my wife,” Dad comments, going into the
kitchen. A few seconds later, I hear him again. “Did she get burgled?”
Jaxon laughs under his breath as he walks in, handing me the juice. He
presses his face into my neck, laughing when we hear Dad question Mum
on how she let the food get burnt. “I promise never to try and help in the
kitchen again.”
I turn until our noses are nearly touching. “It was very sweet and kind
of you to try. Thank you.”
He places a hand over my stomach, rubbing gently. “You’ve been
doing a lot lately and I’ve been busy with work. You need to be taking it
easy.”
I press my lips against his briefly, not wanting to start my uncle or
cousins up. They always seem disgruntled when we kiss. I run my hand
over his jaw, staring up at him. “Let’s not talk about work or anything else.
Let’s enjoy the next day or so.”
He presses another kiss to my lips, grinning. “I can agree to that.”
There’s another knock on the door, but before I can offer to get it, Miah
takes one look at my belly, grimaces, and gets up off the floor. “I’ll get it.”
“Thank you.”
 Star quickly races into the living room, her entire face lit up. “Santa has
been here too,” she squeals, clapping her hands. She races off before I can
answer, and Dad walks in, chuckling.
“I forgot how much energy kids have.”
Max snorts. “Puh-lease. You had it fucking easy compared to me.”
Dad rolls his eyes as he takes a seat in the armchair. “I have more kids
than you so I’m not sure how you work that out.”
“I had fucking triplets. Nothing compares to the chaos they bring.”
“Only your kids,” Dad mutters as Maddox walks in.
“I’m telling you. It’s discrimination,” Maddox declares.
“Oh no,” I whisper, sitting a little straighter at his tone.
Jasmine giggles as her mum makes a noise of distress. “Maddox, you
can’t do things like that. What kind of example is that setting?”
“Dad, you agreed with me, right?” he asks, as Malik walks in.
He grunts, sitting down on the armchair next to Dad. “Yeah.”
Amelia throws up her hands. “I can’t win with you,” she argues.
“He was discriminating against my girl. Who does that white haired,
fat pri—prince think he is?”
Amelia narrows her eyes. “Maddox.”
“He’s not a prince,” Jasmine scolds him, before racing off into the
kitchen. “Cool, are we having a food fight in here?”
Jaxon’s chest vibrates against my arm at her question. “What did he
do?” Jaxon asks, too much amusement in his tone.
“I’m glad you asked. He—”
“I meant you; what did you do?” Jaxon states, unable to hide his
amusement.
“Why do you assume it was me?” When Jaxon doesn’t reply, Maddox
scoffs, and bends down to kiss me on the cheek. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” I reply, smiling.
He takes a seat in front of the fireplace before unstrapping Asher from
his car seat.
“Is no one going to fill in the uncomfortable silence?” Max asks.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Maddox grumbles.
Amelia sighs as she drops down on the floor next to him. “We went to
see Santa. It’s Asher’s first time.”
“Aww, that is so sweet. I bet he loved it,” I gush, excited for next year
when I get to take our little nugget to see him.
 Maddox makes a noise. “Yeah, not with that fat—”
“Maddox, he was doing his job. Jesus. I would hate to have been your
parent when you found out the truth about him, you know, not being
real,” she whispers, making sure the girls don’t overhear.
“Please, someone tell us what happened,” Max pleads.
“I’ll tell you what happened,” Maddox declares, his voice rising. The
sound sets the baby off, and another sharp pain, like lightning, shoots
through my abdomen. I tense and cover it up by shifting in my seat. It
doesn’t last long, and I’m hoping, like earlier, it fades, giving me a little bit
of rest.
It’s either the baby moving, or Braxton hicks again, but I swear they
didn’t hurt nearly as much as these ones are.
I tune back in to what Maddox is saying, just as he gets to the part
about it being their turn to see Santa.
“And he was all, ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas. Amelia took a picture
with just Santa and Jasmine at first, but then it got to the whole ‘what do
you want for Christmas’ question, and because some lazy-arse elf, who got
drunk the night before, couldn’t be arsed to wrap the presents, they weren’t
exactly a surprise, so Jasmine said she wanted the boy present.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Max asks, gazing to the others for answers.
Maddox points to his uncle. “Exactly what I said,” he screeches.
“It’s all pre-booked. The presents are bought in advance for that time
slot, and you click extras and state boy or girl,” Amelia adds, rolling her
eyes.
“So, I told him she gets what she wants. And then he had the nerve to
argue with me and tell me that if she takes the boy toy, then a boy will be
stuck with a girl toy.”
“He called him homophobic for thinking a boy shouldn’t be
playing with a girl toy, even though he never actually said those words,”
Amelia adds once more.
Maddox narrows his gaze. “He didn’t need to say it. He implied it.”
“Did she get the toy?” I ask.
“Of course she did.”
“Then why are you mad?” I ask softly.
“Because then we had pictures with him and Asher, and then Asher,
Jasmine and Santa, and when I asked why he wasn’t asking Asher what he
wanted for Christmas, he looked at me funny.”
 Amelia pinches the bridge of her nose. “Tell her the rest.”
“There’s more?” Jaxon asks, sounding shocked.
“Yeah, because then that fucker went to try and tell me they have an
age restriction on the toys, and so they didn’t have a present for Asher. He
wasn’t going to give it to me, so I took it.”
Amelia points to Maddox. “He tackled Santa to the ground to get this
toy, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the kids thought they were playing a
game of ‘pile on’ and dived on him. They think Santa has a few cracked
ribs, a broken nose, and I’m pretty sure he had a black eye by the time he
managed to untangle himself.”
I place my hand over my mouth, unable to form words. It takes me a
moment to picture the moment in my head, and when I do, I can’t help it; I
burst out laughing. “Oh my God, Maddox, you didn’t.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Technically, I didn’t plan for that to
happen. Those kids should be held responsible.”
“Oh no,” I cry, laughing so hard my stomach hurts even more.
Everyone laughs uproariously, and every time Max tries to speak, tears
streaming down his cheeks, he breaks, cackling even louder.
“It’s not funny. They took our pictures, and we are now banned from
ever returning.”
Amelia’s words only make the group laugh harder.
Max leans forward, slapping the arm of the chair. “Please tell me the
present is worth it.”
Maddox grins. “Shit yeah. Me and Jasmine are going to have a game of
Nerf wars later, before she has to go to bed.”
As my laughter dies down, a surge of overwhelming happiness fills me.
This is what Christmas is all about. It’s love, it’s laughter, it’s family.
And I have all of it in abundance.
CHAPTER FIVE
Jaxon
My wife, heavily pregnant and glowing with happiness, is a sight to
see. I can’t take my eyes off her, not even when I hear my name being
called.
Lily, Hope, Amelia, and the girls are sitting at the table, decorating the
gingerbread houses Paisley picked up. Her laughter and beautiful face are
all I’ve been able to focus on.
Lily is kind and gentle with everyone, but there’s a different softness to
her when she interacts with the kids. Seeing her laugh at something
Jasmine tells her, a smile tugs at my own lips. This time next year, it will
be our child sitting with her.
It’s hard to believe that this time last year, I was recovering from the
beating her relatives gave me, and from losing her. We’ve come so far in
such a short amount of time, but neither of us were willing to wait a
moment longer to begin our life together, which is why we aren’t wasting a
minute.
The pregnancy came as a shock to her, but for me, it was a blessing;
just another thing tying us together. We are meant to be together. She’s the
other half of my soul, and I never want to be without her. I already lived
through that for a short time, and I never want to go through it again.
A part of me wants her to always be pregnant, but then the other part,
the part that wants to fuck her the way I want to, the way she enjoys,
can’t wait for the baby to be born.
A sharp thump on my arm has me jerking my gaze away from Lily.
I narrow my gaze on my infuriating sister. “What?”
“Stop staring at her like that,” she hisses under her breath.
“Like what?”
She rolls her eyes. “Like none of us should be in the house right now
because you are picturing doing all sorts to her. I’m kind of grossed out.”
“She’s my wife.”
“And her uncle’s finger is twitching toward the knife.”
Sure enough, Max is glaring holes into my head, his fingers drumming
the arm of the couch where the knife lies.
 “He doesn’t scare me,” I tell her. She arches an eyebrow at my lie.
“Okay, his crazy intimidates me. I’ve never met anyone so unpredictable.”
Movement from over by the dining room table grabs my attention. Lily
winces as she stands, rubbing her lower stomach. Paisley holds me back
before I can go and see if she’s okay. It’s not the first time she’s shown
discomfort today.
“Don’t fuss. Let her enjoy her time with the kids. She’s been planning
this day for weeks.”
I scrub a hand down my face, knowing she’s right. “She should be
taking it easy.”
“And if she does more than she is now, then we will step in and help,”
she rebuffs, before letting out a sigh. “I can’t believe I’m going to be an
auntie soon. To not only one, but two kids.”
I frown at the sadness in her voice, and I know she’s thinking of Eli.
“He’ll sort it out.”
She nods and glances away, not wanting to think about our brother.
“You got everything ready for the baby?”
“Yeah, as much as we can.”
Jasmine comes running into the living room, and like he has a sixth
sense, Malik easily catches her in his arms when she jumps in his lap. She
squeezes his cheeks together. “Can we open all my presents now?”
“Kid, we only brought you a few to open here. You’ll get to open the
rest with us tomorrow.”
“Why not now?” she pouts.
“Remember, I told you that Star isn’t going to be seeing any of them
tomorrow and they want to see her face when she opens them,” Amelia
gently explains.
She rolls her eyes, shifting on Malik’s lap to get comfy. “Okay.”
He leans down, whispering in her ear. “Don’t worry, kid, I snagged
another Nerf gun while Santa wasn’t looking. We can play that after.”
She pumps her fist in the air. “Yes. You are all going to lose.”
I chuckle at her excitement, before reaching out for Lily, helping her sit
back down next to me. “You okay? You look tired.”
“Yes, I’m okay. We’ve finished the houses. The kids are going to eat
them later.”
I place my hand over her belly, feeling the swell of our baby growing
inside of her. “Are you sure? I saw you were in pain earlier.”
 She leans into me. “Don’t worry. The baby was just moving to get in a
comfier position.”
I press my lips to the top of her head, breathing in her strawberry
shampoo. “Let me know if it gets too much for you. I’ll get everyone to
leave so you can get some rest.”
Star runs into the room, her entire face pale. I sit up, going on alert.
“What’s wrong?”
“I forgot Lily’s present.” She turns to her brother, her lips turned down.
“Why did you let me forget her present?”
He snorts and points over to the tree. “I didn’t. I picked it up.”
She stares at the gift bag, then to her brother, before diving on him.
“You are the best big brother ever.”
“I’m your only brother,” he mutters, clearly uncomfortable.
Max, who is the closest to him, ruffles Miah’s hair. “Awww, who’s the
best big brother ever.”
“Shut up!” he grouches.
Max lets out a hearty laugh. “Don’t worry, kid, I’ve got your back.”
“Yeah, at least his girlfriend isn’t here this time,” Maverick comments,
taking a seat next to Mum.
I hide my amusement at the reminder. Max really embarrassed Miah in
front of the girl he’s studying with.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he defends.
Star pouts. “You kiss her a lot.”
Max bursts out laughing. “Kid, you are so busted.”
Lily tilts her head to the side, glancing at Miah in concentration. “I
thought she was your study partner.”
He glances away. “Are we opening presents or what?” he snaps, but it’s
not harsh, just filled with embarrassment.
“Lily has to open hers first,” Star yells, and races over to get it. “It’s for
both of you.”
Lily gently takes the bag from her, and her entire body buzzes with
excitement. “Thank you so much.”
“Open it. Open it.”
Chuckling, I help Lily by grabbing the first one out, and hand it to her.
“Miah picked this one.”
Lily glances up from unwrapping the paper. “Thank you, Miah.”
“I, um, I…” He rubs the back of his neck. “It’s nothing.”
 Lily finishes unwrapping it as a gasp leaves her mouth. I look down at
the ash wood-coloured frame and notice her hands begin to shake. The
picture is from our second time at the ice rink. I’m in the centre, holding
onto Star’s shoulders as she grips the penguin in front of her. Lily is smiling
so wide, her cheeks rosy from the cold air, as she stares at the screen. Miah
is the other side of me, and he’s actually laughing in the photo.
“You moaned and said you didn’t want your photo taken,” Lily reminds
him softly, running her finger across the glass frame.
She’s remembering the day it was taken. She wanted a photo of us
all, but he moaned and refused for so long, until he finally gave in. Before
the photo was taken, I had slipped, bruising my arse as I took Star with
me.
Lily made a joke as I got back up and he burst out laughing.
“I… Um, you don’t need to keep that picture in there,” he tells her
when she doesn’t say anything else.
Her head snaps up, tears glistening in her eyes. “It’s beautiful, Miah.
Really beautiful. And I’ll put it on my mantel later.”
I clear the ball from my throat. “Thank you.”
“It’s just a photo,” he grumbles as red rises up his neck to his cheeks.
“It’s not,” I tell him, meeting his gaze. Because it isn’t. They might not
be our kids, or any relation, but they are family.
“And don’t think I’m not hugging or kissing you when I do get up. The
only reason I haven’t yet is because I know it’s going to take me a while,”
Lily teases, wiping under her eyes.
“Open this one next,” Star demands, handing her a smaller box. Next,
she hands me a small gift. “This is yours.”
“You first,” Lily orders softly.
I unwrap the gift, laughing under my breath at the sight of two pairs of
socks. “Thanks.”
Miah snickers. “Look at the bottom.”
A little intrigued, I pull them out of the paper, glancing at the bottom,
before I burst out laughing. On one, it says, ‘I married’ then on the other, it
says, ‘an angel’. The next pair has me pausing. They read, ‘I’m a dad now,
I’m resting my eyes’.
“These are seriously kind of you,” Lily gushes, holding them up for the
others to see.
“It’s nothing,” Miah states. “They’re just socks.”
“Just socks,” I scoff.
 Max laughs. “I love it when you get uncomfortable,” he tells Miah.
Miah narrows his eyes. “Who invited you again?”
“I don’t need an invitation,” Max declares proudly.
“Open yours,” Star demands. “I picked this one out. I used up all my
money to get it.”
“Star, that is incredibly sweet of you, but you didn’t need to do that.
You should have saved your pocket money,” Lily gently tells her.
“I really wanted to,” she assures her. “Open it.”
Laughing at the little girl’s enthusiasm, Lily tears open the packaging
to reveal a blue box. Lifting the lid, her eyes widen, and a few tears slip
down her cheeks. The silver heart-shaped pendant has ‘mum’ engraved onto
it, along with a rose pattern down the side. “We know you aren’t our mum,
but you’ll be a mum, and we didn’t want you to forget us. This way, we can
be with you, always. Isn’t it pretty?”
Lily’s breath hitches as she opens the locket. I pull her into my arms as
we both stare down at the photos. The first two spaces for inserting pictures
are blank, but in the last two spaces, pictures have been placed there. One of
Star’s face, and one of Miah’s.
“You can put one of Jaxon and the baby in there,” Star gushes,
pointing to the blank spaces.
“This is… I—”
“I did tell her it would be weird to put our faces in there.”
“No, it’s not. She’s been like a mum to us,” Star argues, her adorable
face scrunched up.
“You can take them out, Lily. We won’t be offended.”
“I will be,” Lily promises, meeting his gaze. “These are the best
presents ever. Thank you. Thank you so much. I promise to treasure them
forever.” She pulls Star in for a hug, since she’s close. She breathes her in,
tightening her hold. “I could never forget you; either of you.”
Teagan steps up behind the sofa and leans down, rubbing her
daughter’s shoulder. “It’s beautiful.”
Lily nods, then turns to me, handing me the necklace. “Can you put it
on me, please?”
“Of course.” I make quick work of clipping it around her neck, and
when I’m done, she sits back, twirling the locket through her fingers.
“Now, you guys can open your presents,” she tells them, grinning.
 I jump up and grab the two bags they have. I hand Miah his and Star
hers, before taking my place next to Lily.
“Can we open them?” Star asks.
Lily smiles. “Go ahead.”
Star rips into hers like she’s afraid someone will do it for her if she
doesn’t. She pulls out a pair of pink, glitter ice skates and squeals. “These
are amazing,” she screeches.
“Be careful with them,” Teagan warns, gently taking them from her
hands as Star goes to hug Lily, and then me.
Miah shifts uncomfortably as he tears open his, gasping when he sees
what’s in the box. “Fucking hell.”
“Language,” every adult but Max scolds.
“I-I don’t know what to say,” he breathes out, pulling at his hair.
“You… I—you got me a PlayStation.”
Maddox suddenly groans. “I knew being around the Hayes’ would turn
you into one of them. A PlayStation, really?”
“I’m a Hayes now,” Lily reminds him.
He snorts. “You’ll always be Lily
Carter.”
“Shut up,” I retort, before turning back to Miah. “You wouldn’t tell us
what you wanted and then we heard you talking about the console.”
“Oh my God, I got a Kindle,” Star yells, before diving to the next
present. “This is so much stuff.”
I laugh as she begins to put on her new slippers. We didn’t go
overboard with them, or at least, I tried not to. Lily is the reason either of
them have clothes, although Miah has vouchers.
Lost in Star opening her presents, I don’t see Miah stand until he’s in
front of us. “Thank you. For everything. Not just these,” he tells us, and
shocking me further, he leans down, wrapping his arms around Lily’s neck.
“Thank you for coming into our lives.”
She bursts into tears, clutching him tighter. “T-thank you for coming i-
into m-mine.”
His eyes are glassy as he pulls back, and as he moves back over to
where his presents are, he doesn’t meet anyone else’s gaze. I wrap my arm
around Lily, pulling her against my chest as we watch them open the rest of
their presents. She finally calms down a little as Max hands Miah the
present he bought him.
“Don’t say I never got you anything,” Max tells him.
 “Oh God, no,” Lake breathes out, holding up a bag. “His present is
here. What did you do?”
Max shrugs. “He doesn’t need any more bloody bathroom sets or
socks.”
Keeping a wary eye on Max, Miah opens the present, his face turning
beet red as the contents fall to the floor.
“Fucking hell,” I choke out, banging my fist against my chest.
“Please tell me you didn’t get a teenager three boxes of condoms,”
Lake warns, her eyes narrowed on her husband.
“No, one of them is lube,” Max explains, glancing at his wife like she’s
crazy.
“Is that a cock ring?” I ask, then duck my face into Lily’s neck when
every female turns and glares at me.
“Max,” Lily scolds. “Blanche is going to kill me. She’s never going to
let me see him again.”
“He’s a teenager. He needs these things, or do you want him to get his
girlfriend pregnant?”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Miah yells, still beet red.
“And why the heck would you think he needs orgasm gel?” Maverick
barks.
“He’s young. He probably doesn’t know what he’s doing. Put that on
his fingers while he’s—”
“Do not finish that sentence,” Lake snaps, glaring at her husband.
“She’s never going to let me see him again,” Lily whimpers, as Miah
rushes to shove it all back in the bag.
“What’s a sex position?” Star asks, holding up the book that had fallen
next to her.
Miah makes a noise of distress as he takes it from her. “Nothing. And
never speak of that again.”
She goes back to playing with the doll Lily bought her and we all turn
to Max, glaring. He throws his hands up. “I just wanted the kid to be
prepared.”
“Oh, like you’ve always been?” Lake scolds.
“I’m always bloody prepared, woman.”
“I can’t believe you,” she hisses, smacking her forehead. “Out of all the
things you’ve done, this takes the biscuit.”
“You didn’t complain when I did it to the boys.”
 “You did it to the boys?” she screeches.
He grimaces. “I guess I never told you that, huh.”
“No, you didn’t.”
Max sighs, turning to Miah. “Look, I’m just saying, be prepared. Not
everyone is cut out for the dad life. My wife got lucky having me as a baby
daddy. I’ve been on the ball from the get-go. Not everyone is ready for kids
so young.”
Lake narrows her gaze on her husband. “You passed out and smacked
your head on the counter when you found out you were going to be a father.
And let’s not forget the time we found out they were triplets.”
“We aren’t talking about that,” he tells her, narrowing his gaze.
“Why, what happened?” I ask, wishing I didn’t when angry gazes come
to me.
Shit!
The Carter’s really know how to give out the death glare and make
people feel it.
It couldn’t have been that bad, surely.
Lake opens her mouth to reply, but Max jumps in.
“Well…”
CHAPTER SIX
MAX
My foot taps restlessly on the blue vinyl flooring. Babies scream in the
waiting area, their pregnant mums chattering over one another, talking
about the most revolting things that us men don’t need to hear. Or need to
know about. One woman just finished telling another woman how badly
she teared during her last delivery. The woman couldn’t poo without
feeling like she was giving birth again.
I really didn’t need to hear that shit.
There’s a buzz in the air, and it only grows louder with my anxiety. I
scrub a hand down my face, wondering how we got to this point.
Well, I know how it happened, just not how, how.
We are so young and have our whole lives ahead of us. Adding a baby
into it wasn’t a part of the plan. We are happy, or at least, I think we are.
But a baby… I still can’t wrap my mind around it. We’ve never really
talked about it either, not seriously anyway. Kids were never brought up in
conversations.
I like kids, don’t get me wrong. It’s the pregnancy part I hate. I’ve
hated every minute of all my sister-in-law’s pregnancies. And they’ve been
popping them out like there’s no tomorrow. And they stole my food along
the way.
Pregnant women are scary as fuck when they want something.
Now I’m scared I’ll push the love of my life away from me because
she’ll eat my food. I know she will. She never gave a shit when she stole it
before, so why would it be any different now?
I tug at the strands of my hair. I’m going to fuck up, and she’ll leave
me. She’ll leave me and I’ll never find love again. I might joke, and fuck
around, and piss her off, but she is my life. I’ve already gone without her
once before, and I felt dead inside.
“Max, you’re making me feel sick,” Lake groans, pressing her hand
down on my leg, and I cease the bouncing.
I scrub a hand down my face, letting out a heavy breath. “I swear,
I’ll share all my food with you, just please don’t attack me, or steal the
last of the garlic bread when we order pizza. Don’t leave me because I’ve
pissed you off.”
 Her gaze softens slightly. “Max, what on earth are you going
on about?”
“I love you, Lake. I really, really love you. You’re my whole world.
But now you’re pregnant, and we know how people change during that
transition.”
“It’s not a transition,” she scolds.
I wave her off. “It doesn’t matter. I just need you to know now that I
love you, and please—I’m begging here—don’t leave me.”
“Max, where has this come from?”
“You saw how the last pregnancy went,” I mope, my shoulders
dropping. “She nearly left.”
Lake laughs, unable to hold it back, and I scoff, offended. “She
wanted to leave you because you were being insufferable. She didn’t want
to leave Myles.”
“Exactly. We’re twins. You’re going to want to leave too, just like
she threatened to.”
“Kayla isn’t your girlfriend, or your wife,” she reminds me, like that
makes a bit of difference. “If I was going to leave you, I would have done it
the day you tried to build the treehouse in the garden and ended up
smashing my laptop.”
“In all fairness, I didn’t know it was unstable,” I defend.
“Or the time you got us kicked out of Disney World.”
“They kept pushing in front of the queue,” I argue.
She grabs my hand. “My point is, you give me thousands of reasons to
leave you, but I don’t. Because all those reasons make you who you are,
and I love you for them.”
I rest my forehead against hers. “It’s just one baby. I can handle nine
months of the food situation.” I glance up, meeting her gaze. “On one
condition.”
“What condition? Because you really don’t have room to negotiate
with a pregnant woman. This baby is coming whether you like it or not,
and I don’t care if you can handle it or not. It’s a bit late now. I mean—”
“Marry me,” I ask softly, my hands shaking as I grip the box in my
pocket.
She laughs, shaking her head. “Max, really? This isn’t a movie. We
aren’t religious. We don’t need to get married just because I’m pregnant.”
 I turn to her, letting her see how fucking serious I am. “Marry me,” I
repeat, and pull out the box.
She presses her lips together and glances away. “Max, we aren’t getting
married just because I’m pregnant. That’s silly.”
“I knew you’d say that, so I brought this,” I tell her, handing her the
receipt. “Look at the date.”
Her hands shake as she reaches for it, and then she gasps. “This is
from before you found out I was pregnant; heck, this is from before I even
knew I was pregnant.”
“I’ve been trying to find the right moment to ask, but I keep getting
nervous,” I admit, then quickly add, “And no one else needs to know that
last part, okay?”
She glances up from the ring, her eyes welling up with tears. “I-I don’t
know what to say.”
“Please say fucking yes, because people are staring,” I tell her from the
side of my mouth, giving the patients the side eye.
“You are serious about this?”
“As serious as the baby in your stomach.”
Her laugh is mingled with a sob as she throws her arms around me.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes.”
I squeeze her tight to my chest, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Never
forget you said yes and that you won’t leave me.”
She pulls back, pressing her lips to mine. “I promise to always put up
with your insufferable behaviour.”
I grin. “Good, because they just called your name.”
She jerks back and beams. “Let’s go see our
baby.” She said yes.
I pump my fist into the air and turn to the others in the waiting room.
“She said yes!”
They cheer and clap, and I grin wider. Lake smacks me in the chest.
“I’m not wearing the ring though.”
I nearly trip over my feet as I follow her, pulling the ring out of the
box. I’m sure I read somewhere that it’s only cemented once they have the
ring on their finger. I don’t want to take any chances.
The lady in blue scrubs smiles as she opens the door for us. “Just lie
down on the bed for me. A doctor will be in shortly to do the ultrasound.”
 “Put it on,” I fuss, grabbing her hand. She tries to shake me off.
“Woman, we are getting married now. Do as you’re told.”
She tenses, turning to me, her expression like thunder. “You did not just
say that.”
“Just put it on so it’s for real and you can’t take it back,” I demand,
keeping my voice low. “I’m not taking any chances that you’ll back out and
leave me. You remember what happened the day I found out you were
pregnant. I’m not sure how I’ll react at actually seeing the nugget.”
“This has to be the sweetest worst proposal ever,” she retorts as her lips
twitch.
I slide the ring on her finger before lifting her hand up and kissing it.
“Love you. And I love the food stealing baby inside of you.”
“I love you too,” she rasps, leaning up to kiss me briefly.
A slim, white-haired man steps into the room. “You ready to see your
baby?”
Lake lies back on the bed, smiling. “Yes.”
He glances up from his notes. “It says you aren’t sure how many weeks
you are. Is that correct?”
“Yes. We’ve broken it down to between thirteen to fifteen weeks, but
we can’t be certain.”
“Let’s take a look then.”
I sit down in the chair next to the bed as he instructs us on everything
he is going to do. Lake seems to be absorbing it all, but I can’t help but
freak out a little.
We are going to see our baby.
I can do this.
How hard can it be to raise one Carter? And it’s not like my brothers
haven’t got experience they can pass down to me. And heck, I’m the
best uncle to all their nuggets. When Charlotte had colic, I was there,
rocking her to sleep every night. Well, most nights.
I can do this.
“This will be cold,” he warns gently, squirting some gel on her
stomach. I sit forward, grimacing as he presses a wand on her belly.
He clicks some buttons on the machine every time he moves the device
in his hand, before continuing to move it around her stomach. When he
hums under his breath, I begin to panic.
I know that hum.
 It’s a ‘I didn’t see that coming’ hum.
“What’s wrong?” I blurt out. “Is the baby okay?”
Lake turns to me, then to the doctor, her eyes wide. “Is something
wrong?”
“No, everything is fine,” he assures us, turning the screen our way.
I squint to try and put together an image, but I’m seeing nothing but
static. “I think your computer is glitching,” I tell him. “It’s fuzzy.”
He smiles, but I feel like it’s more to indulge me. “It’s how it’s
supposed to look.”
“And everything is okay?” Lake asks again as she curls her fingers into
the sheet.
“Yes. And from the measurements I’ve taken, you are fifteen weeks
pregnant. I just need to take a few more measurements.”
I lean forward, squinting harder at the screen. “I don’t see it.”
He points to the screen. “This is baby A, who is a little small, but it’s
normal at this stage. Baby B is hiding right there,” he explains, like it makes
a lick of sense. “I—"
“Baby B?” Lake asks, her voice low.
“I’m lost,” I declare.
“We’re having twins,” Lake tells me, her entire face paling.
“Who put you up to this because it’s not funny,” I warn her.
“Actually—” the doctor begins, but Lake interrupts before he can
continue.
“No one, Max. I swear. We’re having twins,” she tells me, fighting
back tears. “Twins.”
I sit up straighter and glare at the doctor. My brothers must have paid
him to do this. “Which one of my brothers got you to do this?”
He rears back. “No one. If you let me explain—”
“Nope. Check again. Something is wrong with your machine. Just
check again.”
“Nothing is wrong with the machine, I assure you,” he tells me. “But
there’s something—"
“Check it again,” I bark, my eyes widening as I find it hard to catch my
breath. “Jesus, this has to be a glitch.”
“Do twins run in your family?” he asks, still clicking buttons. I sag
back into the chair, watching him like a hawk. He’s clearly made a mistake
and is now fixing it.
 “Yes. Um, we’re actually both a twin,” Lake explains, her bottom lip
trembling.
“Makes sense.”
“What makes sense?” I squeak out. “Did you check it again?”
“Max, calm down.”
I stand, but my knees give out and I sit back down again. I can’t
breathe.
This can’t be happening.
“Please, check it again. My twin brother never had twins. He had one
baby. One healthy little girl. No other one hiding in the back there. So
please, check it again.”
“Malik had twins, and he’s not a twin.”
“You aren’t having twins,” the doctor interrupts, and I blow out a
breath.
I chuckle at Lake as I narrow my eyes on her. “You called up and got
them to do this to me as payback for knocking myself out over the
pregnancy news, didn’t you?” I rush out in one breath.
“Um, no,” she answers before turning back to the doctor. “I’m
confused. You just said Baby A, and Baby B.”
He clears his throat. “You aren’t having twins, Miss Miller, you are
having triplets. Congratulations.”
I begin to wheeze as I lean against the bed. “This isn’t real. It isn’t
real,” I whisper.
“Max,” Lake scolds.
I glare at the doctor. “Count them again. You’ve got to be wrong.”
He points to the screen again. “This is baby A, this is baby B, and
hiding just behind baby A, is baby C.”
“C-can’t, breathe,” I gasp out when he outlines each baby, and I can
finally make out the image.
There are three of them.
Three heads.
Three bodies.
Six arms.
I glance at Lake in horror. She is going to be feeding for four.
“Put your head between your legs,” the doctor instructs as my body
begins to sway.
 “I should have kept my head between hers,” I blurt out, my voice going
high.
“Max,” Lake snaps.
“Triplets,” I wheeze, banging my chest. “I can’t-I can’t breathe.”
The doctor gets up just as black spots flash before my eyes. The room
begins to blur in a kaleidoscope of colours before everything goes black.

*** *** ***

You’d think with hundreds of conversations going on all at once, it

would drown out the voices in my head.
No such luck.
Three babies.
After finally getting a second opinion and an earful off Lake, I decided
to come to the one place that can help me forget.
Three babies.
I have super fucking sperm.
The condensation from my pint drips down onto my hand. It’s my
third, maybe forth pint, but at the slow rate it’s going helping me forget, I
think I may need to move on to something stronger.
Three babies.
Definitely something stronger.
The stool beside me scrapes across the laminate flooring. Needing to
be left alone, I glance at the newcomer, ready to get rid of them, but find
my twin sitting down.
“Hey, I thought you had the scan today. How did it go?”
“How did it go?” I repeat quietly, slamming my pint down on the bar.
“How did it fucking go?”
“Did I miss something?” he asks, as Malik takes a seat on the next
stool over, immediately dropping his head to bar. He has been in a
constant state of sleep deprivation since the twins were born. That was
nearly two years ago.
“It’s all your fault, you prick.”
“I know I’ve not had much sleep lately, but I’m sure I would know if I
had done something.”
I push back on my stool and stand in front of him. I stab my finger into
his chest and get into his face. He didn’t have to come here and be all
fucking smug about it. “You fucking cursed me, Myles.” Malik sits up as
Mason and Maverick come and join the huddle. I glare at them all. “You
can all piss off and leave me alone. I don’t need to see your smug faces
right now.”
“Sit down before you fall down,” Myles warns as I sway a little.
“Did something happen at the scan?” Maverick asks.
I scrub my hands through my hair as my eyes burn. “It’s all his fault.”
“What’s my fault?” Myles screeches, throwing his hands up.
“You could have twins,” I scoff, mimicking his voice. “Then she’ll be
feeding for three.”
His eyes widen as realisation hits him, and he grins, like the smug
fucking twin he is. “You’re having twins?”
Maverick hoots. “Congratulations.”
“You are so fucked,” Malik quietly murmurs, his pity staring back at
me.
I don’t need his fucking pity.
“Yeah, I am, and you want to know why?” I hiss.
“Why?” Malik replies.
“Because this fucker cursed me,” I snap, and grab the bottle of whiskey
from the barman as he passes.
“Hey,” he barks, but Mason waves him off, letting me keep the bottle.
“You don’t have money for that,” Myles warns.
“I still have some shares in here,” I bark. “I’m going to have to quit my
course. Take a teacher’s job. Then I can be around for the holidays so Lake
can still work.”
“What are you going on about?” Maverick asks. “You can still do your
course.”
I meet his gaze dead on. “No, I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can. We’re all managing to do it,” Malik tells me.
“Your mind will never settle on a teacher’s job,” Maverick warns. “You
need a challenge.”
“And you’ll end up killing the kids,” Myles points out.
“Don’t speak to me,” I snap, before turning to Maverick. “I have to do
what’s best for Lake. And this is what’s best for her. For all of us.”
“I bet she won’t see it like that. She will go ape when she finds out
you’ve changed all your career plans for her and the babies.”
 “She won’t, because none of you fuckers will tell her and I’ll act like
it’s my dream fucking job,” I tell them, pointedly glancing at Myles, who is
the only one living at the house now. “And if you fucking tell her, I’ll
never forgive you. I mean it.”
“Max, you’re being dramatic,” Malik warns. “I know I make it look
hard, but it comes with benefits too. It’s not always sleepless nights, nappy
changes, trying to keep them from sticking their fingers in sockets, or
getting vomited on. I swear.”
I wipe away the whiskey that dribbles down my chin. “It’s easy for
you to say that.”
“Why?”
“Because you have twins. We’re having fucking triplets,” I yell, and
the entire bar quietens down at my outburst.
Stunned silence greets me and I sit down, grabbing the whiskey bottle
again and downing it.
Maverick is the first to laugh, collapsing across the bar. Mason, Malik,
then Myles follow.
Wankers.
My shoulders slump and I hunker down with the bottle. “That’s it, all
fucking laugh.”
Maverick takes the bottle from me and pushes it aside. “Stop drinking
yourself stupid.”
I snatch it back. “Fuck off, all of you.”
“How has Lake taken the news?” Myles asks through bursts of
laughter.
“Okay, I think. She didn’t freak out or anything,” I reluctantly admit. I
want to be alone, goddammit. I need to plan for the future, one that involves
three tiny humans.
“Where is she?” Maverick asks.
I grimace as I rub the back of my neck. “She told me to get lost after I
dropped her off at her mum’s. She needed time to absorb the information
without me whispering, ‘three babies’, every two seconds.”
Malik grins. “Triplets.”
“That doesn’t explain why you are here drinking yourself stupid,”
Maverick declares.
“Because I need to come up with a plan.”
“What plan?”
 “A plan to make sure she never leaves me. A plan to make sure my
kids know never to fuck around and pinch my food. It can be a rule from
the minute they take their first breath. And I need to figure out how the
fuck I’m going to afford to raise three fucking kids.”
“And drinking is going to do that?”
“It helps me fucking think,” I snap. “None of you have to worry about
this. None of you.”
“We’ve all got kids,” Maverick states.
“None of you are me—as much as you wish you were.”
“I don’t even know what you mean by that,” Maverick replies.
I grit my teeth as I take in a deep breath. “I can’t lose her. I can’t. She
gets me. All of me. And I’m so fucking scared I’m going to fuck this up. I
know I teased you all throughout the pregnancies, but I’m fucking serious.
I’m not Mason, I’m not Myles, and I’m not Malik. I’m not you,” I tell
Maverick, meeting his gaze. “Words don’t come as easy to me as they do to
you.”
“Have you met me?” Malik asks.
I scrub a hand down my face. “I can’t fuck this up.”
“Of course you can,” Maverick states, slapping me on the back. “We’re
Carter’s. We’ll always fuck up.”
“You don’t get it.”
“Yeah, I do, because believe it or not, we’ve all been where you are
right now. We’ve all had the same fears, the same insecurities, and the
same troubles. But you’ll be a great father. I think you’ll surprise everyone
by how good you’ll be.”
I snort. “Yeah right.”
He claps my shoulder, gripping it. “Max, you’ve done nothing but
surprise me your whole life. The first time you got expelled, you somehow
managed to talk yourself back into school. When you did your SATS during
your sickness bug, you surprised me by passing. And again when you did
your GCSEs and A-levels. You surprise me at every turn. But nothing
surprised me more than the day you realised you were in love with Lake. Be
that person, Max. Be it for her, because she loves that person. She doesn’t
need you to change. She wouldn’t want you to.”
I swallow past the ball in my throat. “It’s still Myles’ fault for jinxing
me,” I whisper.
Acknowledging I don’t want to talk about it, he moves away.
 Myles clears his throat. “So, what are we doing, because I have an hour
before I have to get back to Kayla.”
“Why aren’t you with her and Charlotte?”
His cheeks burn red. “She’s getting fed up of me waking up Charlotte
just so I can hold her. She told me that if I didn’t leave for a few hours,
she’s going to kill me.”
“Hormones.” Malik shudders. “I swear, they’ll be the death of us.”
“I guess now isn’t really the time to tell you guys that Denny is
pregnant again. We found out yesterday. It’s still early.”
“She’s just had one,” I screech, thinking back to the nightmare Denny
was through her pregnancy with Ciara. “Did you two not listen to the six
weeks of no sex thing?”
Maverick rolls his eyes at me before turning to Mason. “Why didn’t
you say anything?” Maverick asks, as the rest begin to congratulate him. I
stay seated and whimper, knowing it’s going to be a long year.
He briefly glances at me. “It’s still really early. It’s come as a shock to
us too.” He pauses, glancing at me. “And she didn’t want to deal with Max,
since he’s only just recovered from all the women being pregnant close
together.”
Great. Just great. I turn to the barman, holding up my hand. “Give me
the tequila, whiskey, and fuck it, throw in the scotch,” I demand.
“Max,” Maverick warns.
“We might as well celebrate it now. Because let’s face it. I’ll either be
unable to drink until they turn eighteen or become an alcoholic before they
reach one. And that’s even if I survive starvation for the rest of the nine
months because everyone is bloody pregnant again,” I snap.
Or Lake doesn’t kill me in my sleep.
Three babies.
Maverick sighs, sitting down on the stool on the other side of me.
“Yeah, pass me a shot of vodka,” he murmurs.
I guess life is about to change.
For us all.
Again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Lily
I tune out as Max runs over the rest of the story. His fears of
becoming a parent have hit me hard and it’s got me thinking. I don’t want
to change my career, but I do want to stop working all together and be
there for our child—at least until they are at school. I just don’t want to
miss out on a single moment of their life.
I never realised, until he pointed it out, just how much is going to
change. Working is something Jaxon and I haven’t talked about, but I guess
it’s something we need to discuss. Because if his work continues to have
issues, I don’t want to add to his plate. Or lose the income if we need it.
Jaxon’s arm goes around me, pulling me from my thoughts. I tilt my
head up, giving him a gentle smile. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he
leans down, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth.
“You okay?” he asks, keeping his voice low so he doesn’t interrupt
Max.
I nod. “Yeah.”
I briefly kiss him before turning back to Max in time to catch the end
of the story.
Aunt Lake stares at her husband with wonder in her eyes. I’m pretty
sure we lost her the moment he admitted to changing courses because she
hasn’t blinked since.
Or shouted at him for getting so drunk he needed his stomach pumped.
“You never told me,” she tells him, her voice clogged with emotion.
“You said teaching had always been your passion. You even made me think
I gave you the courage to do it. You came home stressed from college, and I
asked you, ‘is this something you really want do’ and you said, no, but you
couldn’t afford to change careers now. I told you to follow your dreams and
become a teacher, Max.”
He grimaces. “I never meant to share that part.”
“Max, why would you do that?”
He shrugs, briefly glancing at the others in the room. “Because I love
you. I looked at it all long-term, so I was being logical, as always,” he
explains, earning a chorus of snorts from around the room. “My course was
six years. I’d have been studying and working internships for hours I could
never have predicted. Then there was me actually getting a job in that field.
It wouldn’t have been an eight to five job and that would have put more
pressure on you. It just made sense for me to do something more practical.”
Dad clears his throat. “Give her the main reason, since we are being
truthful.”
“Main reason?” Aunt Lake asks.
“That is the reason,” he rebuffs, glancing away. “Now, are we going to
keep opening presents?”
“Tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
Lake glances at Dad, arching her brow. “Maverick?”
“Don’t,” Max warns.
“Tell her,” Dad replies. “It’s Christmas, and you’ve already told her the
other parts.”
Max sighs, leaning back against in the chair. “Whatever. It’s not a big
deal, so don’t go crying on me,” he warns her. “You know I hate it when
you cry.”
“Swear.”
Clearing his throat, he finally answers. “Because being a teacher gave
me time with my kids. I could be there through all the holidays. I wanted to
be the best dad to my kids, and I wanted to be present. I didn’t want to be
like…” He pauses for a moment, clenching his teeth. Once he gets it
together, he continues. “I just wanted to be there. For all of you. And I
wouldn’t have been able to do that if was working endless hours.”
My fingers tense against the cushion beneath me. He stopped his
words, but I know what they were going to be. I know because more than
once I had the same thought, only about her.
“And?” Maverick butts in, breaking me from my thoughts.
Max rolls his eyes. “And I wanted to make sure you never got
overwhelmed and left me. I had to give you a reason to keep me around
when I did fuck up,” he tells her, but seeing everyone is staring at him, he
continues, “But I know that’s never going to happen. You can’t live
without me. Who could?”
“Me,” Maverick mutters.
“Me too,” Malik pipes in.
Breaking her promise, tears begin to stream down her cheeks. “You let
me stay mad at you for a week.”
 For once, he actually looks embarrassed. “I deserved it.”
“How did you get her to forgive you?” Dad asks. “I always
did
wonder.”
Lake smiles fondly at the memory. “He bought me three vests. One
had ‘Please’ on, the second had, ‘Forgive’, and the third one had ‘Me’
written on it.”
Max grins. “And to suck up even further, I had ‘World’s Best Mum’
written on the back.”
She sits down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Max,”
Lake murmurs.
“Don’t. I did what I did for our family, and I don’t regret it.”
“It’s not too late to do what you want to do. If I had known, I would
have stopped you, Max. I want you to be happy.”
Shifting with her in his lap, he clears his throat. “I actually like my
job.”
Her brows bunch together. “You aren’t just saying that?”
“No. Believe it or not, I really do. It kind of grew on me.”
Dad chuckles. “He really does.”
“Everyone loves me there,” Max announces. “I’m like a god to them.”
“No, they are just too scared you’ll teach other students to be like you,”
Harlow announces. “You forget, most of those teachers couldn’t wait for
you to leave school.”
“I’m like a bad penny. I keep coming back.”
“I love you,” Lake tells him, gripping his face. “And never, for one
minute, think you’ve been anything but a good father and husband.”
He grins. “You going to tell me that in another twenty-two years?”
“I’ll tell you that with my last breath,” she promises, kissing him.
“Oh God,” Landon heaves. “Please stop.”
I snuggle into Jaxon. “It’s so romantic.”
“No, it’s not,” Landon screeches. “It’s disgusting.”
Max pulls back, grinning. “Then you really don’t want to know about
the night you were conceived.”
“Jesus Christ,” Landon hisses. “Mum’s right. You are a great father.”
Sitting up straighter, Max turns to his son. “I know.”
“I wasn’t finished,” Landon mutters. “You are a great father—until you
open your mouth.”
 “He doesn’t mean that,” Lake tells Max, giving her son a warning
glance.
Landon rolls his eyes. “On that note, we’re going to head out. We have
guests at the bed and breakfast and still have people to see.”
“Do you have to go so soon?” I ask, not ready for the night to be over.
“Yeah. I want to go see Charlotte before we get back.”
“She’s at Drew’s father’s,” I remind him.
He grabs his coat. “Yeah, he told us to pop round, so we need to get
moving.”
I place my hand in Jaxon’s. “Can you help me up, please?”
He gets up, taking my hand in his, whilst the other slides down my
back, helping me stand.
“Jaxon, Jaxon, look at this,” Star yells, and he diverts his attention to
Star and her present.
I head over to Landon in the hallway, where he and Max are huddled
together in a quiet conversation. “Dad, you really are the best father we
could wish for, but the first time you brag about it, I’ll deny it and take it
back.”
Max grips his son around his neck and pulls him in for a hug. “Got
you.”
Spotting me, Landon nods. “Give me two minutes to say goodbye to
Mum and I’ll come say goodbye.”
I nod, and once he leaves, I turn back to Max.
“You okay there?” he asks, leaning against the banister.
I rub a hand over my stomach as I answer. “Max, back there, did you,
um, did you really think you could be anything like him?” I ask softly. I
don’t want to overstep. I never do. But I need to know the answer.
He rubs the back of his neck, grimacing. “Not in the way you’re
thinking. I’d never hurt a child—let alone my own—and I’d never raise a
hand to my wife. I rarely raise my voice.”
“Then what did you mean?” I ask softly.
He lets out a heavy breath, his gaze quickly going to the living room.
“It means I share his DNA. The small part of me that kind of freaked out
over having triplets, let other fears surface, and I freaked. I was so worried
I’d fuck up, just like him. I guess being told you aren’t good enough for
most of your life really does leave you with scars.”
I space out for a moment. “Yeah, I get that,” I murmur.
 He steps forward, placing his hands on my shoulders, jerking me from
my dark thoughts. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” I ask, unable to meet his gaze.
“You are nothing like her.”
My eyes burn with unshed tears as I meet his gaze. “But what if I mess
up but in another way? We all know I have issues. I—”
“She had six kids, Lily, and out of us all, you are the best of us. You
might have scars, but they haven’t darkened your soul. You are pure,
beautiful, and this child couldn’t wish for a better parent.”
“Max,” I rasp, reaching for his hand.
“He’s right,” Dad interrupts, startling me and I drop Max’s hand. “And
I get that you’re scared, but I never want to hear you doubt yourself again.
You are the best of us. And you are going to be a fantastic mum.”
I step into his embrace, wrapping my arms around him. “I love you,
Dad.”
“I love you too, baby girl, so please, stop breaking your father’s heart
by thinking that way.”
“It’s hormones,” I tell him, wiping under my eyes before stepping up to
Max, hugging him too. “And for what it’s worth, you could never be
anything but you.”
Max grips me a little tighter before pulling back, his grin wide and
filled with smugness. “There’s only one me.”
“Thank God,” Dad mutters.
Something inside me shifts, and I stare at my uncle, losing my smile.
“We only need you.”
“I knew I was your favourite,” he announces.
I shake my head. “Don’t start that again please. I had a migraine for
a week after you guys kept claiming you were the favourite. You are all
my favourites.”
He winks. “Yeah, okay.”
I laugh, glancing away as Landon comes back, his hand tucked around
Paisley’s. “We’re heading off.”
“Thank you for coming,” I tell him, before turning to Paisley. “And
thank you for finding those gingerbread houses.”
“Yeah, I’d, um, go make sure Max doesn’t finish them off.”
I turn to where my uncle was just standing and find the spot empty.
How does he do that?
 Dad laughs, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “You should be
used to it by now.”
“It’s for the kids,” I groan.
Landon grimaces. “Yeah, um, I got hungry again, so I had a bit too.”
I shove my face into Dad’s chest a little, my shoulders shaking as I
fight back laughter. “It’s fine.”
He leans down, giving me a peck on the cheek. “See you tomorrow.”
We say our goodbyes and I turn to Dad. “I’m sorry about before.”
“Don’t be. Just know we love you, and if you ever need to talk, we are
here. Just please, never think those thoughts about yourself.”
“Max, don’t eat that. It’s for the kids,” Lake yells from the living room.
Dad glances down at me, grimacing. “I need to go sort him out.”
“Go. I’ll be in, in a second,” I tell him, forcing a smile.
As soon as he leaves, I press my hand against the door, breathing in and
out as pain slices down my back.
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths.

*** *** ***

Jaxon and I are sitting in bed, me cuddled up to his side as the

Christmas movie plays on the television. Popcorn fills the bowl in front of
us, so do other various treats, from candy canes to chocolates and crackers.
This is how I want us to end all future Christmas Eve’s.
The pains in my stomach have finally ebbed away. The midwife
warned me before that my Braxton hicks could come back. I guess the
stress of wanting everything to be perfect brought them on. But it’s over.
And now; now I’m in my happy place: alone with my husband, curled
up, watching a movie with our cats snuggled at our feet.
Pure bliss.
“Did you have a good day, Angel?”
I tilt my head up, smiling. “The best. The kids were so happy, even
Miah.”
“They were. Miah got a PlayStation, so why wouldn’t he be?”
“I think we could have gotten him socks again and he would still have
been happy.”
His hand curls over my shoulder. “True. He’s a good kid.”
 A yawn slips past my lips, and I shake my head. “I can’t believe I’m
still tired after sleeping in late and taking that nap.”
“The book said you will get more tired the further along you get.
You’ve been running around for weeks now, double checking everything is
ready for the baby and then getting ready for Christmas.”
I bite my lower lip. “I’m worried I’ll miss something.”
He shifts until he’s lying down beside me. He tucks my hair behind my
ear. “It won’t matter if you do, because we’ll sort it, Lily.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, my mind wandering.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, taking my hand.
I meet his gaze. “I’ve been carrying him or her for nine months, and
yet, I still can’t believe that in a few days, he or she will be making an
appearance. I guess after hearing everyone else’s story, it’s really hitting
me. This is real. We are going to be parents. I’m going to be a mum.”
“And you are going to be a fantastic mum.”
I rebuff his comment. “I hope they look like you. I want our baby to
have your hair, your eyes, and your smile. I want him or her to be just like
you,” I declare.
“If our child is going to be like anyone, they’re going to be like their
mother.”
“You can’t know that,” I tell him, feeling the blood drain from my face.
I never want my children to have my fears, my reactions or outbursts.
“Lily,” he calls, gently cupping my jaw. “I do, and you want know
how
I know?”
“How?”
“Because you inspire people to be the best they can be. You make me
a better man. And when our child is born, they are going to feel their
mother’s love and do everything in their power to be just like her. And
you’ll teach them. You’ll teach them to be kind, to know what is right and
what is wrong. You’ll teach them to love and to love those around them.”
“Jaxon,” I whimper, wishing I could press closer.
“It’s true. And I swear, if we have a daughter who looks just like you,
who has your heart, I’m fucked.”
That brings a small smile to my face, even if my heart is fluttering like
crazy. “Why?”
“Because it means I’ll have to apologise to your dad and uncles.”
I didn’t expect him to come out with that.
 “Why?”
“Because I’ll do anything to protect her, just like they did you,” he
rasps, and tears gather in my eyes.
“I love you,” I tell him, leaning up. He leans down, meeting me
halfway as his lips press against mine. Flutters erupt in my stomach as he
sensually flicks his tongue against mine one last time.
“Love you too, Angel.”
“Love you more,” I tell him, the words filled with emotion.
“Never.”
I shake my head. He doesn’t get it. He never gets it. My gaze locks
with his. “When I say I love you more, it doesn’t mean I love you more
than you love me. It means, I love you more than anyone else could ever
dream of loving someone.” I take a breath as I lean into him. “They aren’t
just words to me. It’s not just an emotion to me. I love you with everything
that is me. I love you. I love who I am with you. And I’ll love you more
tomorrow than I did today. I’ll love you more than I’ll ever be able to
express. And it scares me.”
“Lily,” he rasps, running his hand down my chest and over my bump.
I place my hand over his. “I never thought I’d have this. And here we
are. Days away from bringing our child into the world. And it scares me. It
scares me because I’ll never be able to put into words how much I love you
for the life you’ve given me.”
He presses a kiss to my lips, this one harder, filled with more passion as
he takes control. He pulls back, his pupils dilated.
“Lily, I’m nearly twenty-six, and yet my life didn’t begin until you
took a chance on me. I promise to be the man worthy of your love,” he
promises, pressing closer. “But, Lily, you make it sound like I’m the only
one giving in this relationship and that’s not true. You’ve failed to bring up
the most important thing.”
“I did?” I ask in surprise, trying to think what it could be.
His lips tug up into a small smile. It’s only brief before he goes back to
being serious. “You gave me something you’ve never given anyone outside
your family. You gave me you. And now you keep giving by carrying our
child. And that, Angel, that is everything. You took a chance on me, and
now look at where we are; how far we’ve come. I’ll never be able to give
you sweet words to describe what that means to me, but I’m hoping that
every day I show you what it means. It’s always been you. Always. I love
you, Lily.”
Another tear slides down my cheek, dropping onto the pillow beside
me. “These are happy tears,” I assure him when he goes to argue. “I
promise.”
He presses his lips to my forehead, and I close my eyes, savouring the
touch. “Love you, Lily.”
“Love you too, Jaxon.”
“Does this mean we can agree our child will be like you?” he asks, all
so serious.
I splutter out a laugh. “How about we agree to give them the very best
of both of us?”
He grins. “I can deal with that.”
“Good,” I murmur softly.
“Now, are we going to finish this film?”
My lips tug into a smile as I rest my head against his chest, wrapping
my arm around his torso. “Yes, we are.”
He kisses the top of my head before running his fingers along my
shoulder. Minutes pass before I feel him relax under me.
His words play in my mind. You gave me you.
Then my uncle Max’s. She had six kids, Lily, and out of us all, you are
the best of us.
Maybe I am worthy of love.
With that, and in the safety of Jaxon’s arms, I rest my eyes and listen to
the sound of the movie playing, letting it lull me into a deep slumber.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lily
Birds chirp outside the open window. I look through the curtains
blowing from the spring breeze and find a little bluebird sitting on the
ledge. He’s staring right at me as I swing back and forth in the rocking
chair. Somehow, it feels like the bluebird is there guiding me, protecting
me.
I close my eyes as the scent of freshly mowed grass wafts through the
open window, and I enjoy the sound of the little bluebird chirping.
A small cry pulls me back to the present, and I glance down to the
buddle wrapped in a white fleece blanket in my arms.
I know without a doubt that this is our baby, the one it feels like I’ve
been waiting my entire life to meet. With Jaxon’s dark hair and his dark
green eyes, our baby is just like their father. And although they have
Jaxon’s features, I can still see me in them. I can see the curve of my upper
lip and the cute button nose.
Our baby is beautiful.
Love like nothing I’ve ever felt blossoms in my chest.
Our baby is me. Our baby is Jaxon.
Our baby came from love.
Knuckles rap against wood and I glance up, beaming when I see Jaxon
standing in the doorway in his work clothes, still dusty from his last job.
“We had our baby?”
“Lily,” he calls out, stepping into the room, but his image flickers
out, and then there’s her standing there, glaring at me with that lethal
look that could whip the best of them.
“You,” I breathe, staring into the stone-cold eyes of my biological
mother.
I try to move, to escape, to get my baby to safety, but I’m glued to the
seat and powerless to do anything but watch her approach.
A cruel smirk plays on her lips. “You are going to feel just what it was
like for me.”
I lift my child closer to my chest, my entire body trembling. I try to
focus on her image, to see her face in full, but it blurs every time I try. I
always forget what she looks like as a whole, but never the way her eyes
hardened when she looked at me, or the tightness around her lips when
she spoke.
“I’m going to be nothing like you.”
“You are all like me.”
“Maverick raised me. He loves me. He is nothing like you. My
mother, my real mother, is nothing like you.”
“They are all like me. You have my blood.”
Tears slide down my cheeks, falling and soaking into the baby
blanket. “Leave me alone,” I rasp.
She bends down, her cruel eyes on my baby, and I can’t move, frozen
to the rocking chair as I watch her cage us in. “You don’t have what it
takes to be a mother.”
Her face morphs before me into a puff of smoke, and before I can
comprehend what is happening, Jaxon is there, knelt before me, one hand
lovingly on our baby’s head. “When the time comes, don’t wait.”
“Wait for who?” I ask, before leaning forward. “Jaxon, it was her. She
was here. She—”
“She was never here,” he soothes me. “But I need you to promise me
that when the baby comes, you’ll tell me.”
“Jaxon, the baby is right here,” I fret, my entire body shaking. “They
are here.”
I hold the baby up for him to see, but in my arms is an empty blanket. I
glance at Jaxon, horrified.
He tilts his head, sadness pouring from him. “It will be okay, Lily. We’ll
get our baby back.”
“Back?” I cry. “Back from where? Did she take her?”
Suddenly, he disappears, and Mum is there, hand raised, ready to hit
me. “You should have listened to me.”
The slap has me shooting up in bed, gasping for air. It’s not real. It’s
not. And as I clutch my stomach, tears gathering in my eyes, it hits me that
it’s not. Our baby is still protected inside of me, bringing me a little
comfort.
I’ve had weird dreams throughout my pregnancy, but nothing like that.
I have a bad taste in my mouth and I’m shaking with fear as I remember her
words. You have my blood. We might share DNA, but it doesn’t make me
anything like her. I could never do what she did to a child, or any living,
breathing thing.
 Glancing to the other side of the bed where Jaxon is still sleeping
soundly, I debate whether or not to wake him, to tell him what occurred in
my dreams. But seeing him rested, knowing how busy he’s been lately, I
slide out of bed without stirring him. As I grab my dressing grown from the
back of the door, I take one more glance at him.
It wasn’t real.
I tiptoe out of the room, heading downstairs. And only when I get to
the kitchen do I let myself relax. My stomach cramps, my back aches, and I
swear I can feel the sting from the slap she gave me just before my dream
ended.
It’s not real. It’s not.
My heart races as I study the vinyl flooring and take deep, easy breaths.
It’s not real.
It might not be real, but it felt real. And I can’t get rid of the same
sense of doom I felt in my dream. I’m not sure what any of it means or if it
means anything at all, but the dream still has me freaked out.
“It’s going to be okay,” I promise the little one. “It wasn’t real. And I
promise, she will never, ever hurt you.”
Needing to soothe my dry throat, since it feels raw from screams I
never made, I grab a glass from the cabinet before heading over to the sink
to pour myself a glass of water.
As I bring the glass to my lips, I catch sight of white flakes outside the
window. I gawk as they fall in a slow flutter, and the ones that reach the
window, instantly melt away.
“Oh my God, it’s snowing,” I whisper, my dream long forgotten. “And
it’s Christmas.”
This has to be a sign, a good one.
Glancing at the clock, I know I have time to do what I prepared. For
weeks, if not months, I’ve not been able to get up early, so I wasn’t sure if
this surprise would be doable. But I bought the ingredients all the same.
And now I can.
Grinning, I begin to gather all the ingredients, excitement bubbling
inside of me. Today is our first Christmas together, and I want to make it
one he won’t forget.

*** *** ***

 I sense him before I feel him. Stepping up behind me, his chest warm,
comforting, Jaxon wraps his arms around me, placing both hands on my
rounded stomach.
He presses a kiss to the side of my neck, and excitement flutters in my
stomach. “I’ll do the dishes, Angel.”
“I’ve got them,” I tell him softly.
He gently pulls me away from the sink and smoothly turns me in his
arms. Not caring my hands have soap suds on them, he lifts them, wrapping
them around his neck. “Merry Christmas, Jaxon.”
The crinkles around his eyes soften as he leans down, capturing my
lips. He takes his time, savouring the moment, before reluctantly pulling
away.
“You were up really early. Did the baby wake you again?”
I smile. “I think we’re passed he or she pushing down on my bladder
without warning. Nugget is constantly there.”
“Then why so early?”
“Because it’s Christmas, it’s snowing, and I wanted to go all out for our
first Christmas breakfast.”
“Thank you, Angel. I loved it.”
I lean up on my toes, unable to keep the smile off my face. “Presents
now.”
He groans as I drag him into the living room. “I told you I didn’t want
anything. I have everything I could possibly need right here.”
I bite my lip when I realise my dilemma. There is no way I’ll be able to
get down on the floor. Not unless I want to spend the day down there. “Um,
I think you might have to rummage through there and find the ones from
me. They are in red paper with a gold ribbon on.”
He takes my hands, and with efficient manoeuvring, helps me down
onto the sofa. “On it. You sit there and look gorgeous because it’s my turn
to spoil you.”
“Do your presents first,” I tell him, nerves bubbling inside of me. “If
we wait any longer, I might throw up.”
He chuckles, piling them all into one pile in front of me. “Do you have
an order in which you’d like them opened?”
“No,” I tell him, then lean forward. “Yes. No. Maybe.”
He chuckles, sitting back on his arse. “We have to be at your parents in
a few hours, babe. Which will it be?”
 I point to the envelope. “Open that one first.”
He grins, lifting the envelope shaped present. He tears open the
packaging and the sound has my stomach rolling.
Gosh, I’m so nervous.
He pulls open the printed tickets and freezes as he reads it over. He
meets my gaze. “Angel,” he murmurs in awe.
“I heard you and your brothers talking at the office. You all said you
wished you had a day where you didn’t have to think about work. Then you
mentioned going racing. This is that. And because I wanted to make sure
you had your brothers, I got them all one too.”
“Angel, we were messing around. You didn’t need to do this.”
I shrug. “You work a lot, and I know things have been getting to you
there with all the new developments going on. I wanted you to have a break
away from it all.”
“Thank you,” he tells me, and reaches up, giving me a kiss. I kiss him
back, smiling. “Now I can blackmail them into helping with the shit jobs
because they are not going to want to lose these tickets.”
“Don’t be mean,” I tease.
“So, which one next?”
It’s then that I shift uncomfortably, because I’m not sure the next ones
are what someone will call presents. I just didn’t know what to get.
“I guess that one, although there are two parts.”
He picks up the eight by ten gift, tearing it open. The frame itself is a
plain rustic frame, with the words, ‘I love you’, but inside is a picture of my
naked bump, my fingers shaped to make a heart, and perfectly placed in the
middle of the heart is our most recent scan photo.
“Fucking hell,” he breathes.
“At our photoshoot, you said you were going to miss my bump, so I
thought I’d capture it again but when I was bigger,” I explain, pointing to
the photo. “I, um, I also got others done, that, um, you don’t need to put in a
frame. They are for you.”
He eyes light up as he rips open the other present. He flickers through
them, choking when he reaches the last ones. The one he is staring at is me
in a ruby red, thin dress. The photo makes it look like I’m lying in a large
swimming pool, but I’m really in a kids’ paddling pool. The water soaked
me, and the dress clung to me, emphasising my bump. It’s sexy, revealing,
and leaves nothing to the imagination.
 “Fucking hell,” he groans, going to the next one.
This one, there’s a backdrop of the outdoors and I’m naked bar the
sheer white material around me. Hayden and Charlotte held it out so it
wasn’t completely draped over me. I was able to stand in a way that
covered the most important parts, with one hand covering my breasts and
the other in the air, making it look like it’s me holding the material off my
face.
With the lighting, the background, and the wonders the makeup artist
did before the photo was taken, I look really good.
And the last one, the one I’m most shy about, is next. It’s me in a lady
Santa costume. It’s sexy, short, and covered less than my hand in the
photo before.
“Read the back,” I tell him, twiddling my thumbs.
He turns it around, reading the note I left on the back. “I couldn’t keep
the costume, but I kept the underwear. And one day, in around six to eight
weeks, I’ll show it to you.”
“Hayden kind of talked me into it, but, um, I really do have the
underwear. It’s wrapped in one of the other presents.”
His pupils dilate as he leans up on his knees. He pushes me back
against the sofa, running a hand down my fleece pyjamas. “I might not be
able to do the things I want to do to you, but it doesn’t mean I can’t do
other things.”
“Jaxon,” I moan as he slowly begins to unbutton my top.
“They’re fucking sexy as hell, baby. Really fucking sexy.”
My cheeks heat with a blush. “T-thank you.”
He pulls my top apart, revealing my bare breasts. My cheeks heat
further. Not from embarrassment as such—because Jaxon has always made
me feel confident and sexy when it comes to sex—but because every time
feels like my first time, just without the pain.
“And now I think I want to see the real thing.”
“Jaxon,” I whimper, shivering when he cups my tits, squeezing. I bite
my lower lip, stopping the moan from escaping. It’s hard to keep it in when
he touches me like that, but more when he talks like that to me.
“Seeing them, I’m hard as a rock. Every time I look at them, I’m going
to be hard. And I’m going to want to fuck you.”
I’m okay with that. I don’t think I’ll ever tire from wanting him.
 “Jaxon,” I call out, my voice low. He captures my nipple with his
mouth, flicking the tip with his tongue. “Jaxon, p-presents.”
His eyes droop lazily as he stares at me. “I’ve not finished getting
mine.”
“Huh?” I rasp, just as he fingers slide into the waistband of my
trousers, slowly sliding them down my legs.
“Yeah, I’m definitely not done getting my presents,” he rasps, right
before his head goes between my legs.
I fall back, spreading my legs a little wider as a moan slips past my
lips.
“I guess we could open the rest in a little while.”
He doesn’t reply, but his fingers tightening around my thighs is answer
enough.
He’s wrong though.
This isn’t a present for him.
This is a present for me.
CHAPTER NINE
Lily
The snow has thickened through the morning hours, leaving a blanket
of snow everywhere.
We have places to be, but Jaxon is sure we’ll be okay to get to my
parents, then to his mum’s, and then back home again. He’s so sure it isn’t
going to stick for long. It rarely ever does, but seeing the untouched snow
outside, I’m not too sure this time. It’s growing thicker by the hour.
A part of me is worried we’ll be snowed in at my parents, unable to
drive home. We can walk, but with the baby due in only a few days, neither
of us want to risk it. Getting around is becoming trickier and more tiring
each day.
We also have other plans, ones that don’t involve staying snowed in at
my parents. I blush at the promise he made after we finally got dressed and
ready for the day.
“The baby is due in a few days, and I won’t be able to be inside you
for nearly two months. We are going to make use of the few days we have
left.”
He already started making good on that promise on the sofa. Then
again as we were getting undressed for the shower.
“Seeing you round, pregnant with our baby, it makes me so fucking
hard. You fucking glow carrying our baby, Angel. Your tits are fuller, your
hips are rounder. And, Angel, you just make it look sexy as heck.”
And he makes me feel it. After not being able to see my feet for
months, having swollen ankles, backache, Braxton hicks, and not finding
clothes that are comfortable, I haven’t felt sexy. But then he will look at
me, and all that nonsense goes away.
I twirl the locket around my neck, then the bracelet Jaxon bought me
that’s around my wrist. I’m covered in love; from the people I love. It’s
Christmas. We are on our way to my parents, then later, to his mum’s, and
it’s snowing.
Today is already spectacular.
“We’ve got heat in the car, and I’ve got it running already, but you
might want to put a hat and gloves on, just in case. I don’t want you getting
sick,” Jaxon warns, shaking snow out of his hair as he walks in.
“Did your granddad get to your mum’s okay?” I ask worriedly.
 “He went last night. Mum messaged me this morning saying she picked
him up. I’ve been scraping the snow off the car and getting it warmed up.”
“That’s good,” I murmur as I pull the woolly grey hat over my head.
“You ready?”
“Are the presents in the car?” I ask as I pull my gloves on.
“Yeah, Angel.”
I beam at him, leaning into his touch. “Then I’m good to go.”
He cups my jaw and leans down, pressing his lips to mine. “It’s good
to see you finally relax.”
“It’s because I have you. And it’s Christmas.”
“You really do love Christmas,” he murmurs, searching my gaze.
“I do. It’s my favourite time of year.”
“Why? People are so busy and stressed.”
I laugh at his view on Christmas. “Because it’s magical. No matter
what you have on all year, how busy you get, or how lost you feel,
Christmas is the one day that brings everyone together. It’s a day where the
world outside stops and everyone is together.”
He studies me like he’s reading my mind. He does it a lot. “Angel, your
family have more family get-togethers than any family I know. You don’t
need Christmas to be together.”
I sigh, wishing he didn’t read me so well. “It’s not about that. Not
really. Our first Christmas together means a lot to me. It opened my eyes to
the world. It’s magical. And they made it so. All of them. And each year, I
see that magic once more. Plus, I love being around them. It makes me feel
whole.”
He pulls me in as close as he can, bending his head so he can kiss me.
“Then let’s go and make the rest of the day magical.”
I nod, then step out into frigid air. The snow is picking up, blanketing
the ground and every surface.
“Are you sure it’s okay to drive?”
“Yeah, I’ve got a four-by-four. We’re good.”
Taking my hand, Jaxon guides me to the car. He’s pulling open the
door when we hear it. Yelling.
I freeze, recognising Charlotte’s voice. We both turn in the direction of
the alley, our eyes wide.
“Landon, wait!” she cries.
 “I don’t want to know,” Landon yells, coming into view as he stomps
down the path, Charlotte chasing him and nearly losing her footing. “I need
to bleach my eyes.”
“Charlotte, get back inside. It’s snowing,” Drew yells.
Landon glares over Charlotte’s head. “I don’t need to hear your voice
right now either.”
That’s when I see her, really see her. Charlotte is in her thin covered
gown—which is not doing much to conceal what she has on underneath—
and is wearing a bow around her chest.
“Is everything okay?” Jaxon asks, his lips twitching.
“Fine,” Landon snaps.
“He walked in on me giving Drew his last Christmas present,”
Charlotte admits, her shoulders dropping.
I giggle into the sleeve of my coat, unable to meet their gazes.
“I’m going,” Landon states. “Call me if you need a lift and I’ll come
back.”
Once he’s gone, I turn to Charlotte. “What happened? You okay?”
She beams, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Yeah. I took a page out
of Hayden’s book. Apparently, men really do like having you wrapped up
in a bow on Christmas.”
“Oh no. And Landon walked in?” I guess, horrified of the prospect one
of them could have done that to me this morning.
I blush as I remember Jaxon going down on me right there in the front
room.
Although, the last time Maddox tried to let himself in, he left with a
black eye. It was an accident. Jaxon swore it was. But no one has ever
attempted it again.
She bites her lip as Drew reaches her. “Um, Katnip kind of, um,
liked the bow too, and, um, attacked the loose parts. Drew was trying to
get her off me, and I screamed because her claws had dug in, catching my
nipple. Landon, um, I guess he thought I was in trouble.”
Drew, her hulking man, swings her up in his arms. “It’s snowing
and you only have thin material on.”
She grins up at him, tucking his hair behind his ear. “We’re
totally going to have sex.”
He clears his throat, jerks his chin at Jaxon and I, before turning to
leave. “See you later, guys.”
 “Bye,” I call out, watching the towering, tattooed guy walk away.
Charlotte’s red hair blows out with the wind, flecks of snow sticking to
the red locks, and just before they move out of sight, she calls out, “See you
in a little while. We won’t be long.”
“We might be late,” Drew calls out, before their voices fade into the
air. I stare up at Jaxon, happiness filling me. Charlotte deserves
happiness,
and seeing her with him, on Christmas, in the snow, it makes me
happy. “She’s so going to be late.”
He arches an eyebrow. “Magical? Really?”
I slap his chest. “Okay, that is something we couldn’t have predicted
and not something that happens normally on Christmas. Wait for it. You’ll
see,” I tell him, then lean in and whisper, “It’s magical.”
He laughs and helps me climb into his truck. “Yeah, Angel, I’m sure I
will.”

*** *** ***

My laughter dies off once the girls finish teasing the guys about the
mishap with Landon and Charlotte this morning.
All of them look ready to take him on, and I’m sure my uncle Max
reached for the step ladder more than once. Why it was there, I don’t know.
Dad normally keeps it in the cupboard under the stairs.
We’re waiting for the others to arrive before exchanging gifts. Only
Maddox, Amelia and the kids are yet to show up.
Charlotte didn’t end up being late. She ended up epically late, only just
now arriving. Everyone understands why Maddox couldn’t be here earlier.
He has a family now.
Charlotte pulls off her pea green coat, hanging it over the door to dry
out, and sticks her tongue out at Hayden. “How did it go for you then?”
“Really?” Max groans, falling off the chair as he scrambles to get up.
Hayden glances away, but Clayton, catching on, begins to laugh.
“Don’t you dare,” she warns him.
He ignores her and answers Charlotte. “I’ve seen three-year-olds wrap
better.”
Charlotte’s lips twist. “You didn’t bow it before and slide it on, then
just tighten it?”
 Hayden glares at her cousin. “No. And I was kind of in a rush since we
slept in.”
“What happened?”
Hayden frowns as she sits back on the sofa. “Clay isn’t wrong. Except
it looked like a baby T-Rex wrapped me. I didn’t realise bows were so
hard to make.”
Jaxon leans down. “My present is way better,” he whispers.
I blush, squeezing his hand. Only Mum, Hayden and Charlotte know
about those photos, and I want it to stay that way. “Shh, you’ll set Max off
again.”
“I don’t think I need to.”
I turn in time to see Max fighting to get to Clayton. “Let me at the
pretty boy. I don’t need ladders to get to that fucker.”
“Dad, pipe down and have a—”
The front door bursts open. “I’m telling you, Amelia, she tripped me.”
“Maddox, drop it already.”
“Aww, did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?” Jasmine teases, then
comes racing into the living room, giggling. She jumps right into Malik’s
arms, and used to her flying at him, he catches her easily, setting her on his
lap.
“What’s going on?” Mum asks, helping Amelia with her coat.
“This one,” Amelia states, jabbing her thumb in Maddox’s direction,
“slipped. And blamed an old lady for it.”
Maddox throws his hands up. “She did. I’m telling you now, that
woman is out to destroy Christmas. My Christmas. You heard her. She had
to get back to cook her dinner.”
“Because she did,” Amelia argues, though she’s unable to hide her
amusement.
“Yeah, then looked right at me and said, oh dearie, I hope you are okay
to walk home.”
“She was being nice.”
“No, that old bat was being condescending and trying to ruin my
Christmas. I lost my food because of her.”
Amelia rolls her eyes as she takes a seat in the only empty chair left.
Dad’s place is big, but our family is bigger.
“No. You slipped, and instead of picking yourself, and your dignity, up
off the floor, you blamed the sweet old lady who just wanted a walk in the
snow.”
“Yeah, only because it might be her last,” he snorts, then chokes when
Amelia pokes him in the stomach.
“Don’t be mean,” Harlow scolds, also clipping her son around the ear.
“Whatever,” he retorts, sulking as he sits down, Asher in his arms.
Feeling a gaze on me, I turn, smiling at Jaxon. He arches an eyebrow,
his lips twitching.
“Magical?” he asks, his tone full of doubt.
I laugh, unable to hold it in. “I swear, it gets better.”
“Yeah,” he replies doubtfully, just as his phone begins to ring. He pulls
it out of his pocket, and I catch Reid’s name. He grimaces. “I need to get
this.”
I nod, watching him go. He stands in the hallway, still in my view, as
everyone around me continues with their conversation.
I tense when his expression tightens, and sit forward in my seat, ready
to get up. Something has happened, something bad.
My stomach rolls, tightening to the point it takes my breath away.
“You okay?” Mum asks, and I feel her drop down into the empty
space
beside me.
I can’t look away from him. His fingers pull at the ends of his hair,
and he sighs, dropping his head forward, like he’s come to terms with
whatever has been said on the other side of the phone.
“Jaxon,” I murmur, and as if he heard my plea, he meets my gaze. A
shudder runs through me at his expression. Whatever is going on, I’m not
sure I want to know. He says something else, sadness creeping into his eyes
as he glances away. “Mum, help me up, please.”
“Of course,” she replies, and helps me up. Dad, seeing, rushes over to
help too.
“Bathroom break?” he teases.
“Jaxon,” I repeat, and let go of their hands, walking over to him.
“Yeah, whatever,” he tells them, and ends the call, pocketing his
phone. “What’s going on?” I ask.
He flinches, meeting my gaze. “Lily,” he breathes out, defeated.
“What’s going on?” Dad asks, stepping up beside me, Mum at my
other
side.
He looks to both of them, and then to me, and whatever he needs to
say, he can’t. Or won’t.
 “Please, what’s going on? Did something happen at your work? Did
that guy do something? Has—”
“No, nothing like that,” he assures me, but I’m unable to relax, still
feeling that strain in my lower stomach. “You remember I told you Reid got
drunk and had to crash at a bed and breakfast?”
“Yes.”
“He was on his way back, and whatever he ate, whatever he drank, has
made him sick. He can’t drive any further. He said the snow is worse and
he nearly swerved twice trying to vomit in the bag.”
“Okay,” I comment, nodding. None of that explains why my stomach is
still rolling.
“Lily,” he murmurs, stepping closer, and as he does, Mum steps away,
giving him room.
“I’m right here,” I tell him.
“Fuck, you need to go get him, don’t you?” Dad declares.
Jaxon closes his eyes like Dad’s words have pained him. And now I
understand his dilemma. It’s sad that Reid is sick, and I hope he’s okay, but
that isn’t what is troubling him. It’s me. He doesn’t want to leave me.
“I’m so sorry, Lily. I would have left him there to sit it out, but it’s
Christmas. Mum is already going nuts, and everyone but Wyatt has already
started drinking. We can’t call out for road assistance because there’s
nothing wrong with the van. Just fucking Reid.”
“Jaxon, go; he needs you,” I tell him, understanding now. I reach for
him, gripping his biceps. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. This is our first Christmas together.”
I smile at that. “It’s not going to be our last, and you’ll be back before
long.”
He groans, dropping his head back. “I can’t leave you.”
“Jax, son, go. We’ve got her until you return. She’s with family.”
Jaxon jerks his chin at my dad, but addresses me. “I’m so fucking
sorry.”
I lean up, pressing my lips to his. “Go, get your brother, then come
back. It’s really okay, Jaxon. I promise.”
“How did I get so fucking lucky to have you,” Jaxon murmurs, pulling
me against his chest.
“Beats fucking me,” Dad mutters, earning a slap to the gut from Mum.
“Go. If the roads are getting worse, you need to hurry.”
 “Yeah. And I need to get Wyatt since someone will need to drive the
van back.”
“Hurry back,” I softly demand, kissing him once more. “And tell Reid I
said I hope he feels better soon.”
“Love you. I’ll call you when I’m on my way back.”
“Love you too,” I reply.
He leaves, and as soon as the door closes behind him, I lean into Dad
and take Mum’s hand.
“He’ll be back, sweetie,” Mum assures me.
“I know. I just wanted to show him the magic.”
“What’s that about?” Dad asks, glancing down at me.
I grin up at him. “You guys. Christmas. The magic.”
Dad chuckles. “Princess, I don’t think it’s hit you yet, but it’s you who
brought magic to Christmas, even long after you found out Santa isn’t real.”
My heart melts at his words, and I curl an arm around him. This is why
he’s the best. He always knows the right things to say.
“Santa isn’t real?” Maddox asks, sticking his head through the door.
“Shut up,” Dad tells him, rolling his eyes.
“Where’s Jaxon?” he asks.
“He had to go get Reid. He’s stuck somewhere throwing up and needs
to get back.”
Maddox snorts as he turns, heading back into the living room. “I’d
have left him there.”
“Left who where?” Max asks.
Jabbing his thumb towards the door, Maddox replies. “Jaxon has had to
go and get Reid. He’s got an upset stomach and can’t get back.”
“Maddox,” I sigh, then turn to Max. “He’s really sick and he’s worried
he’ll crash the van if he keeps going.”
“And Jaxon just left?”
“Reid is his brother,” I remind him.
“And? I’d have left him to freeze,” Max states. “He shouldn’t be
leaving you this close to your due date. I’m telling you, he should be glued
to your side, prepared for anything. Just like we all were for our wives.”
“Max, he already feels bad enough that he had to leave,” I tell him as
Dad helps me back in my seat. “Don’t make him feel worse when he comes
back, please.”
 He opens his mouth to reply but catches on to the women’s glares
aimed his way and decides to rethink whatever he’s going to say. He
throws his hands up. “I’m not wrong. Am I wrong, guys?” he calls,
glancing to his brothers.
“I hate that these words are coming out of my mouth, but he ain’t
wrong,” Mason replies.
Max grins. “Not the first time you’ve told me that.”
“Shut up,” Mason snaps.
Denny, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder, laughs.
“You have no room to talk, Mace. Remember the night I went into
labour with Ashton?”
Mason blushes. “That’s different.”
“Is it?” she asks, arching an eyebrow. “Because you were only next
door and look what happened that night. And Ashton isn’t even our
first child. You’d think you would have learned by then.”
“Denny,” he groans.
“What did he do?” Hope asks, grinning in her dad’s direction.
Denny leans forward, amusement written all over her.
“Well…”
CHAPTER TEN
DENNY
Blue.
The tranquil and calm colour is everywhere. Blue bunting lines the
room, blue balloons with a few silver mixed in, and blue treats, which
include blue chocolate covered strawberries, sweets, a cake, and other bits
they somehow managed to get made blue. There are blue tablecloths, blue
napkins, blue baby bottle drinking glasses and blue paper straws to match
the decor. It looks fabulous.
A boy.
After two girls, and a lot of pink, I’ll finally be adding a little boy to
our family, one who I hope looks like his father, will be protective of his
older sisters, and has a true heart of a Carter.
Coming back to the present, I take in a breath, glance at the camera,
smile, then pull away from Harlow to take another look at the photo booth
they had made. The balloons make an arch around a silver ring, and in the
middle, it says, ‘It’s a boy’. It’s gorgeous, especially the blue floral
backdrop.
My eyes close as a stabbing sensation runs from my lower stomach to
my ribcage. I suck in my lips and bite down, not uttering a sound. Once it
passes, I glance back to Harlow.
The smile she’s aiming at me is filled with mischief. “When are you
going to tell Mason you’re in labour?”
I make sure no one else is listening before leaning in and replying, “I
was in labour with Ciara for four excruciating days. I’ve got plenty of time.
The contractions are far apart so there’s no need to worry just yet. And you
know how Mason gets.”
Her expression drops and she leans in closer. “Are you sure? We can
finish this party another day. No one will mind.”
I smile and pull my best friend in for a hug. “No. This baby shower is
everything. I don’t want it to end,” I tell her, pulling back to glance around
the room. “Thank you for all the hard work you’ve put in to make it
perfect.”
My two girls are in bed at Malik and Harlow’s with a few of the kids,
whilst the rest of the kids stayed over at their nan and granddad’s. Joan
and
Mark love them, and it’s the kids’ favourite place to be. I’m gutted Joan or
my nan couldn’t be here for what is essentially my last baby shower, but
they both wanted to help look after the kids, not trusting the men to do it. It
wouldn’t be the first time one of the kids got one up on their dads.
Mason is over at Malik’s with the rest of his brothers, probably up to
no good. So, this evening is just for us girls.
She places her hand on my arm. “You’re more than welcome. It’s been
an amazing day. I’m glad we got to do this for you.”
“Me too, especially since this will be my last one.”
Mason and I decided the day we found out we were having a little boy
that this pregnancy is going to be our last one. It had come as a surprise as I
hadn’t long given birth to Ciara, our beautiful baby girl. Three is enough
for us, enough for our family, and for our home. And once this little guy is
born, we are going to spend the rest of our lives making sure all three are
nothing but loved and cared for.
She links her arm through mine as we both stare off into the living
room, watching the others laugh and eat their snacks.
I glance to Ciara’s baby toys in the corner, then to the school bag in
the corner near Hope’s reading nook. All of it really hits me. Everything I
have lived through, everything I survived, and everything I’ve ever gained
stares back at me in this house. All of it. And it makes me realise just how
lucky I am to be where I am, to have who I have.
Harlow rests her head on my shoulder. “Yeah, I bet.”
My mind is still on the room, the house, my family. Staring at all that I
have, all of who I have, and what I’ve been blessed with, has got me
thinking.
I squeeze her side. “You changed my life,” I declare, needing her to
know as emotion clogs my throat.
“What?”
I clear my throat and pull back. “You changed my life the day you
walked into that classroom. You sat down next to me and suddenly,
everything changed. My world changed,” I explain. “You saved me.
Without you, I’d never have the best friend I do.” I give her a pointed look.
“Without you, I’d never have gotten Mason’s attention. He would never
have looked twice at me. If you hadn’t come to town, I wouldn’t be here
right now, pregnant with my third baby, married, and blissfully happy. You
gave me the courage to stand up for what I believe in, and you’ve been
there for me every day since. Thank you.”
Harlow gives me a small smile as she tilts her head. “Denny, I can’t
believe that. I can’t believe there is a world without you and Mason
together. It might not have happened the way it did, but I truly do believe
you two were always going to end up together. I mean, who else would put
up with him?”
I splutter out a laugh, wiping under my eyes. “True.”
“I’m happy for you,” she crowed, before her gaze becomes unfocused
for a moment. “And there’s something I need to tell you.”
Before I can question her, Kim, a friend from work, speaks up. “Um,
why is a guy standing near the other house, staring at this house?”
I glance through the nettings and let out a breath. “Don’t worry. It’s
only Max.”
At the back door of Harlow and Malik’s, Max is standing there, arms
crossed, glaring holes in our direction. It’s started to drizzle, but he doesn’t
even blink.
“Are you not gonna go to him?” Kayla asks Lake, who looks dead on
her feet—which I’m not surprised about. Their triplets are only a few
months old and they’re already little hellions like their father.
“Fuck no. He made his bed; he can lie in it. I gave him one rule: Don’t
touch.”
“Wow, what did he do?” Kim asks, wide eyed.
All eyes turn to me, Kim’s being the last. I grimace, shrugging. “He
ate a tray of party sausages.”
She lets out a breath. “I thought you were going to tell me he cheated
on her or something.”
Lake snorts. “One, he loves me too much to cheat, and two, he likes his
dick where it is and not shoved up his arse.”
“Then I don’t understand. He looks so pitiful out there,” Kim murmurs,
glancing back out of the window. “I think he’s actually crying.”
Lake replies. “That’s what he wants you to think. Trust me, it’s best for
everyone if he’s left alone.”
“I don’t get it,” Kim murmurs, her gaze flicking from one person to the
next. “I feel like I’m missing something.”
Harlow takes pity on her. “He’s hoping someone takes pity on him and
gives him some food.”
 Poor Kim still doesn’t get it. “Why don’t you invite him in for some?
It’s starting to rain.”
All eyes once again swing my way. “Because he ate my party
sausages.”
“Um, okay.”
“All of them,” I tell her.
“I’m still not following.”
“I was getting the sausage rolls out of the oven, and as I turned, I saw
him shove the last sausage in his mouth and I kind of, um, reacted.”
“Reacted?” Kim asks, glancing to Harlow for answers when I don’t
reply.
“She kind of swung the tray in his direction, and it slipped out of her
hand and hit him on the head.”
“Oh dear,” Kim mutters.
“It’s fine though. He’s used to it,” Harlow explains, waving it off.
“In all fairness, he should have learnt his lesson by now. He
knows
better than to go after a pregnant woman’s food,” Lake explains.
My stomach tightens, and to cover the pain, I turn away from the girls,
pretending to be interested in the goodies filling the table. I reach for a
sausage roll, shoving it in my mouth, as I nearly crumple to the floor with
pain.
As quickly as it started, it goes, and I take a moment to compose
myself before turning back to the room.
“Denny?”
I glance at Harlow, forcing a smile. “Yeah?”
“I said: how is Mason doing now?”
I actually flinch at the reminder. Mason tried to help me clear it up, but
he ended up knocking over a tray of spring rolls. I threw a hissy fit to end
all hissy fits. I overreacted. But in my defence, I had been in the middle of
a contraction. He didn’t know that though.
“I’ll make it up to him. I actually feel bad because he’s been up with
Ciara, taking on the extra workload, and with this pregnancy, he’s got a lot
on. He didn’t need me throwing a hissy fit.”
“He’ll be fine. They need shaking up once in a while,” Teagan tells us.
“True,” I force out, turning my back to the room once again.
Fuck!
This one hurts more than the last. And they’re closer together.
 “I think you need to tell Mason now,” Harlow sings
quietly. I nod. “I will. Let us finish the party first.”
“Denny,” she disapproves, giving me the stink eye.
“Shit!” Lake bursts out, glancing up from her phone.
“Everything okay?” I ask, gripping Harlow’s hand as another
contraction hits.
“No. Max spilt the last three bottles of breast milk,” she explains,
getting to her feet. “I’m really sorry, Denny, I need to go feed them.”
“Don’t be. It’s completely fine. Pop round after with them.”
“But—” Harlow begins.
I squeeze her hand tighter, stopping her next words. “But if you can’t, I
understand. I’m just glad you came.”
Lake makes her way over to me, pulling me in for a hug.
“Congratulations again and I’ll try to come back, but you know the feeds
can take a while.”
My arms tense around her as my stomach tightens. Hearing her let out
a wheeze, I pull back, clearing my throat. “I know. It’s fine,” I assure her.
“Thank you for coming.”
Harlow walks with me as we make our way to the front door. Max
stands from the chair under the canopy, rocking Hayden in his arms.
“She’s starving,” he yells.
“Are you saying I’m starving my kids?” Lake snaps.
Max pales, glancing to Maverick, who has the sense to look away, not
getting involved. Max gulps. “No. My bad.”
Movement at the top room window of the house pulls my attention
away from Max. My contractions are long forgotten when I spot Maddox
and Madison fighting over the pizza box on the windowsill, the curtains
drawn behind them.
“Um, Harlow…” I call.
She glances over at me, her brows bunched together. “Do you want me
to call Mason now?”
“No. Um—”
“You need to be in the hospital where they can monitor you.”
“Yeah, I know, and I will be, but you need to know—”
“Stop being stubborn. I thought Max was the stubborn one, but you
may actually have him beat today.”
 I laugh at her insult. “Harlow, if you would stop for five seconds, I’m
trying to tell you the twins are sitting on the windowsill fighting over
pizza.” I quickly glance up to the two culprits. “And I think Maddox won
because Madison is smacking him across the head with the doll.”
Her eyes widen as she watches Madison shove her brother against the
window, his face mushing against the glass.
“Shit!” she hisses. “Malik! Malik!”
Kayla steps up next to me, Teagan on the other side as we watch
the kids freeze for a second before jumping down off the windowsill,
where Maddox’s bed is located.
“Kids,” Teagan murmurs.
Another contraction hits and I stagger backwards until I reach the
living room door, gripping the doorframe.
“Are you okay?” Kayla asks, rushing over to me.
I clutch my stomach, and suddenly, there is a pop, like someone
cracking their knuckles, before a gush of water bursts between my legs.
“Oh fuck,” Teagan murmurs, skidding in the amniotic fluid. She
steadies herself, looks down, and grins. “I’ll call Mason.”
I wave her off, pulling my phone out of my back pocket. “I got it,” I
assure her, dialling his number.
“I’ll get everyone to leave,” Kayla assures me, and I nod, moving
through to the kitchen for privacy.
I breathe in, then out, crying out when the contraction hits, worse than
any of the others before. “Fuck!”
“Babe,” Mason answers.
Panting heavily, I reply. “My waters just broke, and I’ve been in labour
since yesterday afternoon.” No answer. “Mason, did you hear me?”
“Fuck, shit, yeah, I’m-I’m coming.”
I end the call, gripping the phone tightly as I bend over the counter,
breathing through my contraction.
Teagan walks in, rubbing my lower back. “Do you need anything?”
“Just my husband,” I cry out as I wiggle my hips side to side, trying to
ease the pain.
There’s a loud crash from outside, seconds before a thud. I glance to
Teagan, my eyes wide. “What the hell was that?”
“Let me check,” she murmurs, and goes to take a step towards the door,
but stops short when Mason comes barging in, falling into the doorframe.
He looks up, hair soaked, blood streaming from his nose and the corner of
his mouth.
“Mason, what on earth have you done?” I ask, seconds before another
contraction hits. “Argghhhh.”
“I’m going to get the bags. Yeah. The bags.” He spins around,
smacking into the door, and I don’t need to ask again what he did to get
injured.
“I should have listened to Harlow,” I cry out, wanting to curl up in a
ball.
“I’m here. I’m here. I told you to—”
“Harlow, not now,” I yell, before bursting into tears. “My God, I’m still
leaking.”
“I’ll go get you some joggers,” she mutters as she glances at the
wetness trickling down my legs, before rushing away. Moments later, we
hear her again. “Mason, her bag is bloody packed; it’s in the nursery. You
need to get her to the hospital. You know it’s not long until she delivers
now her waters have broken.”
“Shit, car seat,” he yells, seconds before we hear another thud. “Fuck!”
“It’s in the car,” Maverick yells from somewhere from close by.
“This is his third child, right?” Kayla asks.
“You’d think it’s his first,” I hiss out, clutching my stomach.
“Right. Car,” Mason calls back.
Harlow comes rushing in, and with Teagan and Kayla’s aid, they help
me into the pair of joggers Harlow brought down.
“I got you a top too,” she tells me, and begins to unzip my dress.
Maverick steps into the room, sees me half undressed, and then turns,
giving us his back. “He’s just getting some spare stuff.”
I breathe heavily, the pain unbearable as I grip the counter. God, why
do I always forget the pain. Why?
Although I know it will be bittersweet once I get my baby boy into my
arms, it doesn’t push aside the fact I’m in agony. It doesn’t help me
remember that this pain does go away. Even the fact that this will be my last
time ever going through this doesn’t help me. All I want to do is curl up in a
ball and plead for someone else to do this for me.
Turning my head, I see Mason barrel down the stairs, dropping my
case at the bottom. I take one look at his face and his T-shirt, and cringe.
“Mason, you can’t go to the hospital like that. It looks like you’ve been in a
scrap,” I screech, panting heavily. “Stop fucking around and get me to the
hospital where they have gas and air.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he bellows, racing back out of the room.
Kayla steps forward. “I’ve called ahead and let them know you are on
your way in. They are expecting you.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. I forgot about calling the hospital. “Thank
you, Kayla.”
“Can we do anything?”
“Unless you want to deliver this baby for me, no,” I tell her, keeping
my voice soft, low. “My God, this hurts so much.”
“You are doing amazing,” Harlow tells me, but the look on her face
says otherwise.
“What’s going on?”
“Um, your nan is helping with the kids and said she’s going to get up
to the hospital as soon as they’re asleep.”
“That could be hours.” I tilt my head, meeting her gaze. I reach out,
squeezing her hand in mine. “You have to come. I need you. I need
someone calm.”
She pushes my hair out of my face. “I won’t leave you. I promise. Best
friends, remember?”
I sag into her embrace as Mason steps through the door again. “I’ve
changed. Now let’s go.”
“You cannot be serious,” I tell him.
“Bro, you cannot wear that while she’s giving birth,” Maverick scolds.
He glances down at his T-shirt, and grimaces. It’s the one Max bought
him that says, ‘I’d rather be watching the Discovery channel.’
“Fuck. I’ll change.”
“Don’t bother, we need to go,” I tell him, having that sense I’ll need to
push soon.
Another contraction hits, and if it weren’t for Harlow and Teagan, I
would have collapsed to the floor. This one is more powerful, more intense.
“I think I need to push.”
“God, don’t push,” Mason yells.
“Stop yelling at me and get me to the damn hospital.”
“Right. Right.”
Taking pity on him, Harlow speaks up. “We’ll help her get to the car.”
“Right. Car. Car.”
 “Bro, get it together,” Maverick orders.
Nodding, Mason wordlessly picks up the bag and leaves. We follow,
me at such a slower pace. Kayla holds up the umbrella, protecting me from
getting soaked in the rain.
Reaching the garden, the others stick their head out of the door, or out
of the window. “Good luck!”
“I’m never doing this again,” I wail. “It hurts so much.”
“That’s what you said the last time,” Max yells out of the top bedroom
window. “Lies!”
“F-you, Max,” I yell.
“Sheesh, only saying. You should mean it this time.”
I grit my teeth as we move down the side of the house, stopping when
another contraction hits.
“You’ve got this,” Harlow tells me.
“I don’t. I really don’t,” I declare, shaking my head in denial.
“Just a few more steps, then we are at the car,” she assures me.
The engine starts up and I look up to see Mason pull out, nearly hitting
the backend of the car in front. “What the actual fuck?” I whisper.
“Fucking men,” Harlow bites out.
Maverick rubs the back of his head. “I’ll go get my keys. He’s stressed.
He doesn’t like seeing you in pain.”
He leaves and Teagan glares after him. “Stressed,” she snorts. “He
should know. When I was in labour with Mark, he had the nerve to ask me,
whilst I was pushing, if it really hurt as bad as I made it sound. I swear, my
husband nearly never made it to see our son born.”
“He left me,” I wheeze.
“He’s just excited.”
“Harlow, he left me,” I bite out, gripping the gate as another
contraction hits. My scream echoes down the street, bouncing off the
houses.
“Got the keys,” Maverick calls just as a car comes to a screeching stop
outside.
“You left me,” I scream.
He races around the car, coming to a stop in front of me. “I’m sorry. So
fucking sorry.”
I grip his biceps and lean into him. “Get me to the hospital.”
“How about I drive?” Maverick offers.
 Mason nods and helps me get into the car, pushing in after me while
Harlow gets in the front. “I really am sorry. I’m just… I know this is our
last child. I want to make sure it’s as memorable as it can be. And I’m
scared. Ciara’s birth was traumatic. You broke three of my fingers.”
I lean into him, placing my hand over his racing heart. “I love you,
Mason.”
“I love you too.”
With sweat running down my temples, my stomach contracting, and a
husband who nearly left me to give birth outside our house, this is still one
of the happiest moments of my life.
“Our family is about to be complete,” I exclaim, unable to hide the
happiness pouring from me.
He slides his hands over my jaw, cupping the side of my neck, below
my ear. “Yeah, babe, it is.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jaxon
The car runs idly as I wait for it to heat up. The snow is heavier, the air
chillier, and instead of being inside with the love of my life, I’m freezing
my balls off to get my brother.
Reid has a lot to answer for. I know he doesn’t do this shit
intentionally, but he needs to start making better life choices and stop
fucking around. We’ve outgrown the days when we go out on benders
constantly. Most of us just want a quiet drink at the pub, then to go home
for food and sleep. And honestly, for myself, all I want to do when I finish
work is get back to Lily. I feel like more and more lately, I don’t get to
spend any quality time with her. It needs to change, and for that to happen,
the others need to get their act together and stop relying on me to clean up
their messes.
Mum is furious. She prides herself on spending time with family and
Christmas means a lot to her. It meant a lot to my dad that we were all
together, and she’s made sure every year that we are. It’s also good for the
twins, since they were so young when our dad died. It’s why she’s livid
right now. It’s the first year we’ve all been separated.
Reid really has a lot to fucking answer for.
My fingers tighten around the leather steering wheel as I grit my teeth.
The frost has finally gone down, and I can leave, but I can’t do it.
I can’t put the car into gear and drive away.
Even as I place my hand on the parking brake and grip it, I can’t
release it.
Because Lily’s inside, only a few metres away from the car.
Leaving her feels like a betrayal. I could see her worry and concern for
Reid when I explained the situation. I could hear her words came from
honesty because she has the purest of hearts. She cares about my family.
My brother. And she meant it when she told me to go.
Then why do I feel like this?
It still feels like a betrayal. A betrayal because I know how much this
day means to her, and I’ve left anyway.
I’m being pulled from two directions, and yet my heart, and head, are
telling me to stay with her, to tease her about the magic of Christmas and
how it’s a farce just so she can keep trying to prove me wrong. ‘Cause I’ll
do anything to see that light in her eyes while she does.
The only thing magical about Christmas is her, and one day, she’ll open
her eyes, look in a mirror and see that for herself.
“Fucking hell, Reid,” I growl to the empty car.
I can’t leave her. I can’t do it.
I switch off the engine just as my phone rings again. I sigh, answering
it. “Yeah?”
“Bro, I’ve managed to Facetime him. He really does look like shit. And
sounds it. He’s pale and sweaty and vomited whilst on the phone. Mum’s
threatening to drive out there, she’s that worried, and two minutes before
she was planning his murder.”
She can’t drive out in this. It’s too dangerous.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Tell her to sit tight. I’m on my way to
pick you up and then we can go get him. Hopefully we can get him in to see
a doctor.”
“See you in a few.”
I end the call, throwing the phone on the passenger seat.
“Fuck!” I rest my head back, closing my eyes. “Lily, please
forgive me.”
Sitting up, I turn the key, switching the engine on, and with careful
ease, pull out of the space and onto the slick roads, praying like hell I make
it there in one piece.

*** *** ***

Jesus fucking Christ.

The snow has gotten worse, and although we are less than five minutes
from Reid’s location, it’s becoming a concern.
“Trust fucking Reid to pick the one year it snows to get sick and
hungover,” Wyatt mutters, peering through the windshield.
I need to get back to Lily. I can’t think of anything else right now.
“Wyatt, are you sure you are going to be okay driving the van back in
this or do you want me to take it back and you two take the car?”
He waves me off. “Nah, I’ll be fine. I’ve drove in the snow in it before.
Not like this. But at least there aren’t many cars about.”
“It’s a fucking shit storm out here.”
 “Let’s sort out Reid so you can get back to Lily. I know it’s bothering
you.”
“I feel like shit that I’ve had to leave her there. She’s been talking
about this day for weeks, and I feel like I’ve let her down.”
“Well, when we get back into town, I’ll sort Reid out, and you head
back to Lily.”
“Are you sure?”
He nods.
“Yeah.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“Any time.”
“You probably won’t be saying that if Reid is as sick as he says he is.”
He grunts. “Yeah, he’s already fucked up my day with Evelyn.”
“She doing okay?”
“Yeah, she’s getting there. It’s hard for her. It’s her first Christmas
without her mum. I took her to the grave this morning.”
“I remember the first Christmas without Dad. Mum was a mess. I don’t
think we got Christmas dinner that day.”
“No, we didn’t,” he mutters before clearing his throat. “Mum’s looking
after her. And hopefully, we won’t be much longer.”
“There he is,” I mutter, indicating to the left as I slowly pull over in
front of him, flicking on my hazards.
I get out of the car at the same time Reid jumps down from the van,
immediately vomiting all over the ground. It melts into the snow, making an
awful orange and yellow path.
He looks like death. His pale skin has a greyish tinge to it and sweat is
beaded at his temples and upper lip. Dark circles mar the skin under his
eyes, and the guy can barely stand straight.
“You okay?” I ask, gritting my teeth.
There is no way I can lay him out whilst he really is sick. If I thought
for a minute that it’s just a hangover, he’d already be laid out in the
snow, out cold.
“Do I look okay?” he bites out, wiping his mouth with the back of his
sleeve.
I step closer and get a whiff of the alcohol. “Fucking hell, Reid.
How much did you drink last night?”
“Enough to not be able to drive home, but not enough to feel like this,”
he mutters, cursing as more vomit comes up.
 “What the fuck did you eat?” Wyatt asks, taking a step back.
“I don’t fucking know,” he heaves out. “This chick took me to an all-
style food restaurant. I think I’ve got food poisoning.”
“You owe us for this,” I warn him. “I’ve had to leave Lily, and you
know what today means to her. She told you whilst she decorated our
fucking office.”
“I know. I know. And I’m sorry. Really fucking sorry.”
He does look it, but that could just be because he’s feeling like shit.
Taking pity on him, I pull out the bottle of water from my coat pocket.
“Drink this. Wyatt is going to drive you back. Okay?”
“Yeah.”
I turn, ready to get back into the car, but he calls out to me. “Jaxon?”
“Yeah?” I call back.
“I really am fucking sorry. I never meant for this. I really didn’t. And
I’ll explain it to Lily and apologise to her.”
I give him a nod. “Oh, and you’ll get extra work when you’re better.
Not only for fucking up my Christmas, but for making me look like a dick
in front of the Carter’s. You know I’m never going to hear the end of
this.”
He grimaces. “Shit.”
Yeah. Shit is the right word.
I head towards the car, wondering how I’m going to refrain from
punching one of them if they go on about it. It’s not like I wanted to leave.
I had to. He’s my brother. And each of them would do the same for one of
their own too.
I pick up my phone from the compartment between the seats and go to
ring Lily to let her know I’m on my way back.
It cuts off immediately, and I glance down at the phone.
No signal.
I throw it down between the seats, growling. This day started off good.
Fucking Reid.
I pull out into the road once I see Wyatt flash the lights in the van.
Barely going fifteen, I head back towards home, the urge to get back to her
growing stronger.
Taking the second left, I come to a stop at a blocked road sign, and
quickly take the diverted route through the back lanes.
Fuck.
 My windshield wipers are at full speed, the noise drowning out all of
the other sounds, including the radio, though that is only on low.
Coming to a small hill, I tighten my grip on my steering wheel, hoping
like heck Wyatt lowers his gears. My four by four can take it, but I’ve never
tested the vans in this weather.
I glance in the rereview mirror, only for a second to confirm he’s okay
and managing to handle the van okay. He is.
I let out a breath, knowing I’ll soon be back with Lily.
When my gaze goes back to the road, high-beamed lights are shining
into the car, almost blinding me. My pulse accelerates, beating out of
control as the red Ford on the other side of the road loses control, their car
spinning out and coming right for me.
And I know without a single doubt, we are going to collide.
There is no avoiding it.
Fuck!
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lily
A sharp tug, like my insides are being pushed down, hits me in my
lower stomach, and I crouch over in the hallway, taking deep, easy breaths.
Something is wrong.
I can feel it in my soul, in my heart, and I don’t know whether it’s the
baby, or because of the sinking feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. I
waddle down the stairs, towards the living room, needing to talk to Mum
about the cramps, because I no longer think they are Braxton hicks. My
nightmare plays over and over in my head, Jaxon’s words echoing in my
head like someone yelling down a tunnel.
‘We’ll get her back, Lily.’
That’s what he told me in my dream.
I hit the bottom step as the living room door opens and Maddox steps
out into the hall, beaming at me.
I force my expression to stay neutral, not wanting to tip him off. He’ll
only worry, and I don’t want to ruin his Christmas. “Is everything okay,
Maddox?”
He jerks his head into a nod. “Yeah, I was just coming to find you. Me,
Amelia and the kids are going to head out early. The snow is getting worse
and it’s a thirty-minute drive to her parents’ house.”
I bite my lower lip as I glance towards the door, seeing the snow
outside through the small window. In a daze, I continue to stare at the
white flakes coming down thicker and swallow deeply. Jaxon is out in that
snow. “It’s getting dangerous out there. Is it okay to drive right now?”
“We’re just leaving to take precautions. If it gets too bad, her parents
have said we can stay there.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, but I can feel the doubt in my voice. Jaxon hasn’t
called or messaged me, and he left a while ago now.
He reaches out, rubbing my arm. “Hey, Jaxon will be fine if that’s who
you’re worried about. He’s got a four-by-four.”
My shoulders drop and I give him a firm nod. “Please drive safely. I
don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Course. I’ve got precious cargo on board.”
 I smile and step into his embrace, needing his comfort. “Have I told
you lately how proud I am of you?”
He grins. “No, but it never hurts to hear it.”
“I’m really proud of you,” I tell him, unable to stop my smile
spreading. “And I’m happy for you. I love Amelia; she’s great.”
“Yeah, I kind of love her too.”
I giggle, ducking my head. “I’m going to miss you,” I express. “It
won’t be the same without you today.”
He taps me under the chin. “You’ll do fine. Jaxon will be back soon.”
“He said he’ll call me when he’s on his way back, which he should
be
by now,” I murmur, unable to keep the fear from my tone.
“He’s probably taking his time because of the snow.”
I shake my head. “I factored that in when Paisley said where they are
picking up Reid from.”
“It will be okay,” he assures me as he pulls me in for a hug.
“Hey, you ready to hit the road?” Amelia asks, stepping into
the
hallway with us.
Maddox pulls back, grinning. “Yeah. Is Jaz ready to pull herself away
from my dad?”
“She’s still trying to talk him into coming. He nearly gave in twice,”
she announces, and I laugh.
“She loves him,” Maddox admits.
“They’re all loveable,” I add in. “But she loves Malik.”
“You doing okay?” Amelia asks. “You’re looking a little pale.”
I nod. “I—” My phone rings and I cut off what I’m about to say when I
see Reid’s name on my screen. “Hello?”
“Lily, it’s Reid,” he chokes out. I can barely hear him.
“Is everything okay?” I ask softly.
“It’s Jaxon,” he tells me, and those words, those two words, have me
holding my breath.
“Lily, what’s going on?” Maddox asks, stepping closer.
My gaze goes to the floor, the blood draining from my face as I focus
on Reid and what he’s saying.
“We were on our way home,” he tells me, and I hear him take in a
breath, like he’s fighting for words. “Lily, I’m sorry, Jaxon’s been in an
accident. I’m so fucking sorry. He isn’t—”
 I stagger backwards as the line goes dead. My phone slips from my
fingers and blinding pain like I’ve never felt before explodes in my head,
like thick needles jamming into my skull. The room spins and black dots
appear in front of me. He didn’t say the words, but I heard them. I heard
them as clear as I can hear Maddox.
“Lily,” Maddox yells, reaching for me.
I fall into his arms, and he somehow manages to hold me up.
Jaxon.
I can’t breathe.
Amelia’s voice is next. “I need you to breathe in and count to three,
Lily. Can you do that?”
Breathe.
Just breathe.
Millions of thoughts race through my mind, even as my body grows
weaker and my heart tears apart. My lips part, yet my scream is silent.
This isn’t how we end.
This isn’t how our life together is meant to be. We have a
future planned and we are going to live it.
And that isn’t going to happen if I lose him.
He has to be fine. He has to be.
And there’s only one way for me to find out. I quickly dial his number,
my heart racing as I wait for the dial tone, but all I get is his voicemail.
No.
The phone slips from my fingers, dropping to the carpet with a thud. I
can’t stand here and do nothing. I have to get to him, to find him.
He has to be okay.
In a haste, I gently push through Maddox and Amelia, going to the
cupboard under the stairs.
“Lily, what are you doing?” Maddox calls out, and although I can feel
the weight of his hand on my shoulder, I don’t feel it. I only feel the cold
that has seeped into my veins.
I shove on my boots and grab my jacket, my hands shaking the entire
time. A sharp cramp hits my lower abdomen, but I don’t let it deter me,
even as a whimper slips free.
Maddox cuts in front of me, holding his hands up. “Wow, what do you
think you are doing?”
 “Get out of my way,” I order, glancing at the door. I have to go find
him. Reid has to be lying.
I clutch the side of my head, squeezing my eyes closed for a moment.
‘Lily, I’m sorry, Jaxon’s been in an accident.’
His brows pinch together, and he watches me like I’m crazy. “You
aren’t going out there.”
“Please, Maddox, move now. I don’t have time for this. I have to get to
Jaxon.”
“No. I’m not sure what is going on, Lily, but stop for a minute and
think. You are heavily pregnant. Do you want to put yourself or your baby’s
life at risk by going out in that on your own, going God knows where?”
“No,” I choke out, and quickly sidestep him, rushing into the living
room, where the noise deafens me.
Spotting Dad, who’s standing near the bookshelf, Mum in front of him
drinking a glass of red wine, I wobble straight to him, ignoring the
tightening sensation in my stomach. They are all I can focus on as I fight to
stay conscious, as I fight to take my next breath.
It can’t be true.
It can’t.
‘Lily, I’m sorry, Jaxon’s been in an accident.’
I close my eyes as those words nearly threaten to cripple me.
The dread I woke up with in the pit of my stomach is back, and it has
brought along friends.
Dad pauses mid conversation as I approach, and his brows pucker
together. “Lily, are you okay?”
“Dad, I need to borrow your car.”
Her jerks his gaze over my shoulder before glancing down at me. “Lily,
what’s going on?”
“I need your car keys. Where are they? Please.”
“Lily, what is going on? You can’t drive in this weather.”
“I need those car keys,” I cry, stumbling forward and clinging to the
ends of his jumper. “Please, Dad. Please.”
“What’s happened?” Mum asks someone.
“Reid called, but I never heard what was said on the other side,”
Maddox quickly answers. “She’s trying to leave.”
Seeing my dad isn’t going to give them to me, I rush over to Max and
Malik. “Max, I need your keys.”
 “You need to tell us what’s going on,” he demands softly, sitting up
from the sofa, and that’s when I notice the room has fallen silent.
I turn to Malik, to find him alert, tense. “Malik, please, can I borrow
your car?”
“Lil, you need to talk us through what’s happened.”
I run my fingers through my hair, glancing around the room in a
semi- circle, finding them all staring at me. “Please, I need to leave. I have
to get to him. I need to go now.”
“To Jaxon?” Dad asks. “Has something happened?”
‘Lily, I’m sorry, Jaxon has been in an accident.’
“Please, someone, give me their keys,” I cry out, clutching my
stomach. “I don’t ask for anything, but I’m asking for this. Please. Please
give me your keys. Please. I have to leave.”
Mum rushes to my side, one hand on my lower back, another taking
my hand. I clench my eyes shut as I take in a deep breath, needing to cry
out but too scared to make another sound.
“Honey, you need to sit down.”
“I need Jaxon, and I need him now,” I choke
out. “What did Reid say to you?” Maddox asks.
“J-Jaxon. Jaxon is. Jaxon—” I heave and collapse to my knees, crying
out. Sobs rake through my entire body, and the pain is like nothing I’ve
ever felt before. Every muscle, every fibre of my being, is strung up tight.
“No, sweetie, no,” Mum whispers, pulling me to her chest.
I sob into her chest, clinging to her like it will make it all go away.
“I’ll make some calls,” Maddox whispers, along with someone else.
“I-I can’t be without him, Mum. I can’t. I need him. We need him. I
need to find him. Reid has to be wrong.”
Mum pulls back, gripping my face. “What did Reid say to you? We
need to know.”
“He said Jaxon has been in accident,” I choke out. “H-he sounded so
broken, so hurt, and before the line went dead, he said, ‘I’m so sorry. He
isn’t’. I need to find him, Mum. I need to.”
“Let’s get you up while we sort this out. I’m sure everything is fine.”
“It’s not. I can feel it. I know something terrible has happened. If Jaxon
could have called me, he would have. He wouldn’t let me worry,” I tell her,
as her and Dad lift me to my feet. “I-I can’t—I can’t breathe,” I wheeze,
clutching my dad when he pulls me against him. I rest my forehead against
his chest, gripping his biceps as a strong cramp tightens my lower abdomen.
I cry out, squeezing him until my fingers turn white.
“Lily, sweetie, take a deep breath,” Dad soothes as I hear my mum’s
voice direct everyone out of the room. “He’s going to be okay, and right
now, I need you to concentrate on you and the baby.”
“It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.”
“How is it your fault?” Dad asks.
I push back, seeing my uncles and Maddox stayed in the room, their
gazes on me. It chokes me, nearly pushing me to my knees. “I told him to
hurry back,” I shamefully admit. My voice breaks as I continue. “I told him
to hurry back.”
It’s all my fault.
Mason takes a step towards me, but I place my hand up, warning him
away. “He hurried because of me.”
“You don’t know what happened,” Mason tells
me. “I-I did this. I—”
“Lily,” Mum whispers.
“I’m everything she said I was,” I declare, panting heavily as I take
another step away.
“Who’s she?”
“Her. I have her DNA. I hurt everyone around me.”
“You couldn’t hurt a soul,” Myles remarks softly.
I nod, like it’s all making sense. “I’m the reason Jaxon is, is, is—”
Pressure between my legs has me bent forward, clutching my stomach as a
cry slips free.
Water gushes between my legs and I glance up, locking gazes with my
mum. “No,” I whisper.
“Not again,” Max whimpers.
“Honey, we need to get you to a hospital.”
No, I can’t. I need Jaxon. I… My dream flashes in my head and I
wheeze, stepping away. “I need to get to Jaxon.”
Dad takes a small step forward, like he’s approaching a wounded
animal. “Lily, baby, right now, we need you to sit down and relax for us.
We are going to call you an ambulance.”
“I think we need to get her there now,” Mum whispers.
Dad shakes his head. “The roads are too bad. If we get stuck, we’ve got
no supplies and she’ll be giving birth in the freezing cold.”
 I shake my head. “I’m not going anywhere unless it’s to Jaxon.”
“Honey, you are in labour,” she tells me, and I cry out as a contraction
hits, doubling over.
Tears stream down my cheeks, blinding me, and my heart is shattered
into a million tiny pieces.
“I-I need Jaxon,” I demand, letting Mum lower me to the sofa.
Malik kneels in front of me. “Madison is on the phone with Paisley,
while Eli and his brothers find out what’s going on for us. Everything is
going to be okay.”
“You don’t understand. It’s not. I had a dream. I knew something bad
was going to happen.”
“You couldn’t have known that,” Myles soothes.
“I’m not good enough. I’ve been waiting and waiting for someone to
take Jaxon away from me. He’s too good for me. Too good. And I knew… I
knew I’d never be able to keep him. But I kept wishing. And now, now she
has what she wanted,” I rush out, screaming when another contraction hits.
“They’re sending an ambulance, but it’s going to be a while,” Mum
announces.
Dad steps up behind Malik, his expression like thunder. “No, baby,
you’re too good for him. You are too good for us.”
Max squeezes my shoulders from behind, leaning over the back of the
sofa. “You are the best of us, Lily Carter. Never forget that.”
“The strongest of us all,” Mason adds.
“With the purest soul,” Myles exclaims.
“And the biggest heart,” Malik finishes.
“Jaxon knows what he has, Lily. Which is why he didn’t waste any
time marrying you or getting you pregnant,” Maddox admits.
I sniffle. “What do you mean?”
“Babe, it didn’t happen by accident. He did that shit on purpose to tie
you to him forever.”
“No, he didn’t.”
He forces a smile. “Yeah, babe, he did. He knows a good thing when he
sees it, but with you, he knew you were the world and never took any
chances. He gave you all of him because you gave him all of you.”
I crumble, breaking into heavy sobs. “I can’t do this without him.”
“Yes, you can,” Dad declares, sitting down next to me.
“I can’t. I can’t do it.”
 “Yes, you can, because Jaxon is going to be okay, you are going to be
okay, and the baby is going to be okay.”
“What if I can’t do this? What if I’m alone and I… I’m not good
enough,” I choke out, just as my back arches off the sofa, and I cry out in
pain.
“You are good enough. And when the baby is born, you’ll wonder why
you thought all of this. Then you’ll have another, and all these emotions,
they’ll come back, but you’ll get through them.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I can, because I went through something similar when Mark was born
and again the night Aiden was born.”
“You did?”
He nods. “I did, and the best part of it all? The things that made it all
better? Well…”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MAVERICK
All my life I’ve lived with a guilt so deeply rooted in me, it became a
part of me. It became a part of the choices I made, whether that be a life
choice or what I was going to have for dinner that night.
And it all boiled down to one thing:
I failed my brothers growing up. I failed them in a way that is
irreversible.
I can’t rewind time, I can’t change the past, and I can’t make them heal.
And it scared me. It scared me so much it kept me up most nights.
Now they are healing. I think from the moment we moved into my
grandpa’s they began to slowly heal. And their other halves have helped
heal the rest, something I’ve always been truly grateful for. Seeing them
happy, thriving, I couldn’t ask for anything else.
Teagan and Faith have done that for me. They’ve given me love I
never knew I needed. They’ve given me acceptance, even knowing my
past. They heal me in a way no one has ever been able to. And in a way,
they gave me a new identity, a new meaning, a new goal in life.
Loving them has been as easy as breathing.
Our family has grown. First Lily, then Mark, and now baby Aiden. All
five of them are my life and I can’t imagine my life without them in it.
The guilt I have stupidly been carrying around all these years, however,
ebbed away the minute I heard the words: ‘She’s in recovery.’
And I finally got to understand how my brothers moved on without a
backward glance. I finally understood what it meant to live and let go of
that last bit of guilt.
My past has always caught up with me, including the beginning of
mine and Teagan’s relationship. I nearly lost both of them during the fire
because of it.
And the other night, I nearly lost Teagan.
And everything I have been feeling for years now hit me so hard I got
knocked on my arse. Not only because I nearly lost the love of my life, my
reason for breathing, but because my eyes were opened to how I’ve been
living my life. And one of those realisations is I’ve been living in fear I’ll
fuck this up. Fuck up being a husband. Fuck up being a father.
 The second realisation is that I’ve been fathering my kids like I’m
walking on eggshells.
I love them with everything in me. I’ll die for them. Kill for them if
they were ever harmed. But somewhere between Faith, and Lily coming
into our life, fear crept in and has held me back from really enjoying it.
Instead, I have been taking my role as a father seriously, making sure they
have everything they need, that they are always safe, and I missed it.
I missed the other part of being a parent, the one that doesn’t involve
worrying and being wary of every move you make. And because of it, the
laughter, the enjoyment, the pure bliss of being a parent has gone over my
head. I’ll never get to look back on our memories and think of the sound of
their laughter, the brightness in their eyes, or the milestones they took.
Instead, all I’ll see now is how stressed and worried I have been.
I should have realised they can have it all. They can get all of me. The
concerned, overprotective, and serious dad, and the fun, loving, easy-going
dad.
It just took the doctor telling me that she’s in recovery to open my eyes
to all of that. Now I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and
I feel like I can finally breathe easier, which is something I’ve not been
able to do since we moved in together as a family of four.
“You’ve been quiet,” Teagan points out as I pull up outside our house,
a house I’m glad I renovated to fit us all, including our other family
members, because we are growing at a rapid rate. “Is it because I won’t be
able to have any more children?”
I shut off the car and turn to her, her mind-blowing beauty shining back
at me. Then her words hit me, and I reach out, taking her hand in mine.
“You’ve given me four beautiful kids, so no, baby.”
She sucks in her bottom lip. “Then what’s wrong?”
I stare at her for a moment longer, my love for her overwhelming me.
It isn’t just her beauty, it’s her. She pulled me in years ago, and I’ve made
sure neither of us have let go since.
“I just realised how lucky I am to have met you, to have what we
have,” I admit, my throat tight with emotion.
She runs her hand across my jaw. “Babe,” she murmurs.
“I feel whole. I’ve always felt it with you, and, babe, no joke, you’ve
given me life, but a part of me has always carried unnecessary guilt. For my
brothers, for Lily, and for not finding her sooner. For everything.”
 “Babe, you aren’t to blame for any of that,” she presses slowly.
“I know that now,” I concur softly. “I guess I’ve been letting the fear
of being a parent, of being like him, get to me. Then I saw how you
handled the birth, and, babe, I’ve never seen anything so powerful in my
life. You were… You were…” I run a hand across the stubble along my
jaw. “God, I’ve seen brave, I’ve seen strong, but, babe, you were a warrior
in there.
And I could have lost you. I could have lost you both, and it nearly killed
me.” I take a moment to try and form the next words in a way that doesn’t
make me sound like a selfish dick, but no matter which way I put it, until
it’s explained, I’ll probably sound like a dick. “I would have had regrets.”
She winces as she sits up straighter, and I reach up, helping her as I
unclip her belt. “Regrets?”
I gently pull the belt away from her stomach before reaching up to cup
her jaw. I tilt her chin up until our gazes meet. “Yeah, regrets,” I rasp as I
lean in closer. “Regrets for not letting my shitty past go when I have a
beautiful future. Regrets for not seeing that sooner. And regrets because
you’ve given me the world, and, babe, it’s my turn to give you the world.”
“You’ve given me everything,” she rasps fiercely. “Never live with
those regrets, Mav. Not now, not ever.”
“I’ll try,” I vow.
“Then no more regrets,” she whispers, leaning forward.
“No more regrets,” I agree, and lean forward, pressing my lips to hers.
It’s soft, slow, and intense. I kiss her like we have all the time in the
world. Because we do.
We do have all the time in the world.
She pulls back, letting out a breath, one which sounds more like relief
than anything. “I really thought it was because I can’t give you any more
kids.”
“You’ve given me the world, and I’m sorry I made you feel like that,” I
tell her, pressing my lips to hers. “How are you feeling about it?”
She shrugs, turning her gaze to the front of the car. “I’m not sure. I’m
happy with our life, with our children, but we’re still so young.” She loses
her focus for a moment before blinking out of it. “However, I’ve been
blessed with four beautiful children, and I can’t complain about that.
They’re all I could ever wish for. And it won’t be long before they are
grown and they’re giving us grandbabies,” she teases.
 I narrow my gaze. “Nope. I can’t even handle the girls being at
school.”
She laughs, her entire face lighting up. “You’ve gone pale.”
“Of course I’ve gone pale. I don’t want to think of my girls being
pregnant. Ever.”
Her expression softens. “Baby, they’re going to grow up, they’re going
to fall in love, and they’re going to have a family of their own. Don’t you
want that for them?”
I’ll never admit it, but I do want it for them. I want them to succeed in
life, whether that be in their career or their social life. But they are my
babies and picturing a future where they aren’t is too bleak to imagine.
“I want them to have everything they ever dream of and more. They
deserve it all.”
Aiden begins to fuss in the backseat, and I grin at my wife. “You
excited to show the kids the new addition?”
She rolls her eyes. “He’s not a toy,” she muses.
“No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the girls start putting him in their
dolls pushchairs. Wouldn’t be the first time.”
Laughing, she pushes open the car door. “I think Max is still trying to
get over Faith mothering Liam and Landon. I swear, when she came in with
them in her dolls pushchair, he looked seconds away from passing out.”
I chuckle. “Don’t move. Let me get Aiden inside with Joan, then I’ll
come and help you out.”
She waves me off. “I’m fine as long as I go slow. And before you start,
I’ll go straight to the sofa to rest. The door isn’t that far away.”
I sigh, glancing up at the house. The lights are off upstairs, which
means the kids are probably asleep in bed, but the lights downstairs are
blaring.
“Teagan,” I warn.
“Stop fighting me. I want to see my girls, and my boy, and arguing
about this is delaying it.”
I sigh. “Alright, but I’ll rush back so don’t try to rush up there.”
“Okay,” she promises.
I swing out of the car and move around to the back, pulling open the
door. Aiden, only days old now, is awake in his seat, his expression
scrunched up in a way that lets me know he’s stuck in the middle of
curiosity and wailing. My money is on wailing because Mark used to have
the exact same expression before he finally settled on crying.
I hook the handle over my arm and lift him out. He doesn’t make a
peep as the cool air hits his face, nor when I slam the door shut behind me
or when the seat jerks as I rush up to the house.
Joan is at the door, holding it open. “Welcome home,” she greets.
I quickly kiss her cheek and lower the car seat to the floor. “I’m just
going to help Teagan.”
“Go, go,” she orders, her focus already on baby Aiden.
Teagan sighs when she spots me. “You really didn’t have to come
back.”
I grin. “If I didn’t think it would hurt more, I’d have you up in my
arms, babe.”
She links her arm through mine. “I love you, Maverick Carter.”
“I love you too, Teagan Carter.”
We reach the front door as a shriek so loud echoes off the walls, all the
way from upstairs.
I quickly help Teagan through the door, needing to get to Lily.
“Maverick, before you go, there’s something you should know.” I
pause on the bottom of the stairs at Joan’s declaration, but my attention is
on Lily calling out for help. I need to get to her. “They have been worse
than ever since you’ve both been gone. Just like last time,” Joan whispers.
And she means when Mark was born. It was our first time away from
home without the girls, and Lily freaked. In the end, they had to bring her to
the hospital, but this time, they couldn’t since Teagan wasn’t in a good way.
“Let me go,” Teagan offers, taking a step towards me.
“I’ll bring her down,” I promise, holding my hand out. “Please, take it
easy and go rest.”
She nods and I turn, taking the stairs two at a time. Lily’s shrieks turn
into whimpers of pain, the sound tearing my heart apart.
I push open her door fully and step inside the dimly lit room. I glance
to Faith’s bed, noticing the sheets rumpled and the bed empty. She must
have woken up before and went downstairs.
I sit on the edge of Lily’s bed, and from experience, I know waking
her isn’t an option, so I gently lift her into my arms, rocking her back and
forth.
“It’s okay. It’s okay now. Daddy’s home,” I soothe.
 She whimpers in her sleep, stirring, but doesn’t wake up from the
nightmare haunting her. Instead, her hand seeks me out and grips my jacket.
Lily had been my sister for two days. Two days. The first day was the
day I first met her. The second day was our first visitation visit. It was
during that visit that I knew I didn’t want her to be my sister. Wounded and
traumatised from what our bitch of a mother had done to her, I knew she
needed more than a brother. She needed a mum and a dad, so it’s what I
gave her. It’s what Teagan gave her.
It hasn’t all been smooth sailing, but I never made the decision to adopt
her thinking it would be. And I don’t regret a moment of it.
Seeing life through her eyes has been something I’ll forever cherish.
And although I’ll never be able to take away her nightmares or memories, I
can do everything in my power to give her new ones to chase them away.
I’ll do anything to make them stop for her. Anything. I hate that she
suffers. But one day, one day they’ll be a day when she doesn’t get them
anymore, a day when all she has suffered and all she’s endured will
become nothing but a distant memory. And until that day comes, I’ll
remind her every day how strong she is, how loved she is.
“Daddy?” she wheezes, trying to sit up. “Daddy?”
“Lily, it’s me. It’s okay. It’s me.”
“You came back,” she cries, throwing her hands around my neck. Her
blonde hair falls in waves down her back, and I run my fingers through it as
she sobs into my chest.
“Hey, I’ll always come back to you.”
She clings to me tighter. “She was telling me no one else wanted me.”
I tense, clinging to her tighter. “She lied. I can’t imagine a world where
anyone didn’t want you in their life Lily.”
She pulls back, her lower lip trembling. She tries to compose herself
but fails.
My girl.
My sweet, sweet girl.
She places her hand above her heart. “It hurts here. I thought you left
me.”
I duck my head to meet her gaze. “You’ll never be rid of me, Lily.
Ever. You are mine, remember?”
She nods as she wipes her nose with the sleeve of her pyjama top.
“And you are mine.”
 I pull her against my chest. “Yeah, princess, I am.”
“Is Mummy and baby Aiden home too?”
“Yeah, and she’s waiting downstairs so her baby girl can meet her
brother.”
She pulls back, a small smile tugging at her lips. “He’ll be mine too.
She can’t take him either, right?”
“No, baby, she won’t because she’s never coming back. She’ll never
hurt you ever again. I promise you.”
“You really, really promise?”
“I really promise.”
She grips my top tighter. “Because I don’t want to leave. I don’t want
you to leave. You’re the best daddy in the world and I love you so much.
I love all of you. You make here,” she declares, tapping her chest above
her heart as tears stream down her cheeks. “You make it stop hurting.”
“Princess,” I choke out, gripping her tightly.
If there are any doubts subconsciously lingering, there aren’t now.
Those words.
She took my heart with those words, and like a balm, they filled in the
broken cracks.
“She tells me in my dreams that she’ll take me away, and
sometimes, she tells me you want me to leave.”
I sit her up and duck my chin. “Lily, they are just nightmares. They
don’t mean anything.”
“I want them to stop.”
“One day, Lily, they will,” I promise. “Now, do you want to come
downstairs and meet your new brother and see your mum, because I know
she’s worried about you.”
“Yes,” she tells me, her tone brighter, yet her expression is still glum.
I lift her into my arms as I stand and make my way downstairs. Chatter
from the living room leads us there, where my wife and our daughter Faith
are resting on the sofa, baby Aiden in Faith’s arms.
“His face is all mushy,” Faith declares, and my shoulders shake with
laughter.
At the sound, Teagan’s head pops up, and a smile tugs at her lips as she
stares at Lily. “Are you okay, princess?”
Lily nods. “Are you better now?”
“I’m getting there, sweetie.”
 I lower Lily to the floor, and she rushes over to her mum. “Good,
because I really, really missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” Teagan soothes, pulling her in for a hug. “You
ready to meet your baby brother?”
Lily nods and climbs up onto the sofa next to Teagan. When I see her
reach for Aiden, I step in. “I’ll do it.”
She sits back and I gently take Aiden from Faith, kissing her on the
head. “Hope you’ve been a good girl for Nanny Joan.”
“I’ve been the best.”
I wink. “Good.”
Taking the seat next to Lily, I watch as her gaze locks onto Aiden’s.
She stretches her arms out, attentively reaching to touch his foot. “He’s so
small.”
“Want to hold?”
At her nod, I gently place him in her arms. She sucks in a breath,
staring at her brother. “I promise to be the best big sister, just like Faith,”
she declares in awe.
“Of course we will, duh,” Faith announces, giggling.
Lily’s eyes lock with mine. “It’s stopped hurting again, Daddy.”
I struggle to swallow past the lump in my throat. I can’t form a word,
my lips tightening as those words penetrate.
She means the ache in her heart, the one she explained to me earlier. I
watch her glance down at her brother, a smile on her face.
I may have been afraid of my father, but my children will never need to
be afraid of me, because I’ll make sure no harm ever comes to them.
I’ll make sure her heart never aches again, and hope she keeps smiling
through life.
For all my kids.
Because family is everything.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Lily
My dad; always the protector. It’s one of the reasons I love him so
much. He’s trying to take my mind off Jaxon, off my waters breaking and
going into labour, and it’s sort of working.
My dad has always been mindful with words, and strong with his
actions. You know when he’s mad or when he’s happy. You know when
he’s disappointed, or when he’s proud. But most of all, you know without
words that he loves you. He has shown me every day just how much, and
not a day has gone by where he hasn’t. But hearing those words, those
thoughts and feelings he had before he even knew how I would grow up, it
shook me to my core.
He always believed in me.
And he never stopped.
Sweat drips down my temple, down my spine, and even as I cry out
through another contraction, my mind can only focus on him, on his words,
and on the memory I had somehow almost forgotten.
I don’t remember all of what he told me, but I do remember the ache in
my chest, the one that slowly faded away until I finally forgot it ever
existed. He did what he promised he would do and made sure it never came
back.
Well, until now.
Now my heart aches, but for an entirely different reason.
Jaxon.
What if he is gone? He’ll never get to meet his son or daughter. He’ll
never watch them grow. I’ll never be able to walk this life without him. I’ll
fail. He keeps telling me I make him a better man, but he’s wrong. He’s
already a good man. It’s him who makes me better. He gives me life. He
gives me hope.
And right now, more than anything, I have to hope he’s okay. I have to
hope life wouldn’t be this cruel and take away a good man, a great husband,
and someone who is going to make a fantastic father.
“So, you see, everything will be alright in the end,” Dad tells me. “It
will be. I promise.”
 “You said you nearly lost Mum,” I question, but it comes out more as a
statement.
“Yeah. There were complications with the pregnancy, and she had to
be rushed into surgery.”
My heart aches knowing they both had to go through that, but I’m glad
they got through it.
“Sweetie, everything is going to be okay,” Mum assures me.
I clench my fingers around the cushion beneath me, refusing to believe
her. “Mum, I’m not Dad. I’m not strong enough. I’m not… I can’t live
without him. I can’t. I—” My chin hits my chest as another contraction hits,
this one stronger than the last. It hurts. Everywhere hurts. Whoever said a
contraction is just like a painful period cramp, lied. I can’t imagine anything
hurting as much as this.
“Where is the goddamn ambulance?” Mum hisses.
I whimper, gripping Mum’s hand, thinking she’s going to leave.
“Mum.”
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetie. I promise,” she assures me.
“It hurts so much,” I cry out.
“I’ll call them back,” Myles quickly offers as he pulls out his phone.
“No, I’ll step out and call them,” Max argues.
“No, Max, stay here,” Myles orders, glowering at his brother. “Lily
needs you.”
Max forces a wide smile at me before turning back to Myles. “I’d
rather call the ambulance. I’ll be more persuasive than you. You’re a
pushover.”
“No, you’ll put them off from coming here,” Myles amends. “It’s best
you leave it to the adults.”
Myles walks out without waiting for him to reply. Dejected, Max turns
back to the room. “Well, I guess I’ll go keep everyone informed and make
sure no one is eating the food.”
“You can’t leave. You can’t,” I plead.
“Fuck!” he hisses, sitting on the edge of the sofa.
Mum strokes my hair out of my face. “Sweet, sweet, girl,” she soothes.
I lean into her, clutching her cardigan. My shoulders shake with my
sobs. “It’s meant to be a happy day. It’s meant to be a day where the magic
happens. I’m so, so, so stupid.”
“You aren’t stupid.”
 “Mum,” I cry, my stomach tightening. “Something is wrong. It hurts so
much.”
Maddox kneels down in front of me, gripping my knees. “I’ve been
here before, Lil, and I promise you, it does go away. Remember, I told you
about all the screaming Amelia did? Well, it stopped after.”
“Maddox, I need Jaxon,” I plead through pants. “I can’t do this without
him.”
“You can, Lily. You’ve got us.”
Sobs burn my chest. “It’s not the same. I can’t… I can’t do this without
him.”
“Yes, Lily, you can. You can do anything when you put your mind to it.
You are one of the strongest people I know. And I need you to be strong
right now. I need you to be strong a little while longer. Jaxon is going to be
okay. If he’s never died from Landon landing a punch to the temple, no
accident is going to take him out.”
I nod, squeezing Mum’s hand as my entire body tenses. This one lasts a
little longer, and my head begins to throb from straining. “I don’t know h-
how to be strong.”
He clucks his tongue. “Lily, you’ve been strong since the very moment
you were born. With everything you endured, you had no other choice. I
may not remember much from when we were little, but what I do remember
is that you always amazed me. Then I got older and understood what the
nightmares were, what your episodes were about, and I swear to you, Lily, I
swear I promised to do everything in my power to protect you, that you
would no longer need to be brave, that you no longer had to be strong. I
wanted you to just live a life where those things never played a part of your
life again. And I know I fucked up last year—fuck do I know it—but I’m
telling you, Lily, we’ll get you through this too. You’ll get through it.”
I sit forward through my discomfort, gripping his hands on my knees.
“Maddox, I can’t lose him.”
He reaches up, pressing his lips to my forehead. “You won’t, but if you
do, you’ve got us. You’ve got your baby.”
“It’s all my fault.”
“It’s not.”
I firmly shake my head. “It is. I had a dream, Maddox. I knew
something bad was going to happen, I could feel it, but I ignored it because
I saw the snow, because it’s Christmas Day, and because I wanted to make
this day perfect for him.”
“It’s just a dream,” he soothes. “Just a dream.”
“You d-don’t understand,” I wheeze, clenching my eyes shut as a wave
of pain hits me, keeping me prisoner in my own head as I tried to breathe
through it. “S-she, she was there, Maddox. In my dream. I-I think it was a
warning that something bad was going to happen to Jaxon and to my baby.”
“No, sweetie, no,” Mum rushes out. “Everything is going to be fine.”
My breath hitches. “He told me he’ll get our baby back. He told me. He
was warning me.”
“Baby, it’s just a dream.”
I clench my eyes shut as the dream plays out in my mind, and Jaxon’s
warning comes back.
‘When the time comes, don’t wait.’
‘But I need you to promise me that when the baby comes, you’ll tell
me.’
“I have to call him. My phone,” I rush out, trying to get up, but Mum
lightly pushes me back down.
“What’s going on?” Dad calls, pulling the phone away from his ear.
“I need my phone. I dropped it.”
Myles walks in, holding the phone. “I’ve got it.”
He passes it to me, and I dial Jaxon’s number as Mum asks, “How long
are they going to be?”
“They are going to be a while. The gritter hasn’t gotten to all the main
roads yet so they are finding it hard to get through some roads.”
“Shit,” she hisses.
Jaxon’s voicemail answers. “You’ve reached Jaxon Hayes. Please
leave your name and number after the beep.”
Beep.
I swallow past my fear as I leave him a message. “Jaxon, it’s Lily.
Reid, he called me. He said…” I close my eyes, letting the tears fall. “You
need to be okay. You need to come home. Our baby is coming. She or he is
coming, and I need you to be here. I need you to be okay. I love you,
Jaxon. I love you so much. My—”
“To rerecord your message, press one, otherwise, please hang up.”
I hang up, and tears fall onto the screen as I stare down at the picture of
Jaxon and I cuddled together on our honeymoon. “This can’t be how we
end.”
Max slides his arse onto the sofa next to me and takes my hand. “It’s
not, because us Carter’s, we get our happily ever after. We fucking deserve
them. You more than any of us fuckers. I can’t believe we get ours after
everything we went through, and you don’t.”
“He’s right, Lily,” Malik rumbles. “I’m not religious, though I’m also
not an atheist.”
“Why not just say you’re agnostic?” Max mutters.
Malik gives him a death glare, but his expression softens when he turns
back to me. “But if there is a higher being, I can’t see them being this cruel.
Not to you. And I know, I know, we aren’t guaranteed happiness, but, girl,
however it works, however it happens, whether it’s luck, God, or just life,
you’ve done everything to deserve a happy ending.”
“I’m scared. I’m so scared,” I choke out.
“I know you are. But we aren’t. We aren’t worried one little bit. Not
about Jaxon, not about the labour, and not about the ambulance turning up
before Max passes out from watching you give birth. We aren’t worried
about any of it. Does that help?”
The part about Max seems like a lie.
But it does help that they aren’t worried. Just a little.
“A little,” I reply softly.
“It’s going to be okay,” he promises.
Hayden steps into the room, sending me a sheepish smile. “Hey, is it
okay for me to come in?”
My gaze locks on the phone in her hand. “Did you get through to
him?”
She grimaces, shaking her head. “Paisley is on the line. She’s with her
mum and brothers. They’re trying to get a hold of one of them. Charlotte
and the others are calling around to see if anyone knows anything.”
She isn’t telling me something. “Please, tell me whatever it is you’re
hiding.” Her gaze goes briefly to Mum, a silent question going between
them. “Don’t do that. Please, Hayden, tell me.”
She lets out a sigh. “The dispatch talking to Drew has confirmed there
has been an accident. There’s, um, there are a few casualties with minor
injuries.”
“That’s good, that means Jaxon is okay,” I cheer, a relieved smile
tugging at my lips. “He’s okay, Mum. He’s okay. Just a little hurt.”
 Her fingers tighten around mine. “I don’t think that’s all Hayden has to
say,” Mum mutters.
I turn back to Hayden, seeing Mum is right. Her expression drops and
she can barely look at me. “What?” I whisper brokenly.
“Babe, she said there’s, um, there’s one deceased at the scene, but they
don’t have anything more than that.”
No.
No. It can’t be.
Reid said… Hayden said… But I didn’t want to believe.
I struggle as I get up off the sofa, ignoring Mum. “No,” I gasp.
“Lily,” Hayden calls, her voice broken.
“No!” I scream. “No!”
I push through my uncles and Maddox, heading for the front door.
“Lily, where are you going?” Dad calls.
I ignore him too, pulling open the front door. He slides in front of me,
blocking my path. “Move, Dad.”
“No, princess.”
I clutch my stomach, as I cry out. “Dad, move out of my way. I need to
find him. He has to be okay.”
I let them talk me into thinking Jaxon was okay.
They gave me hope.
“Honey, you are in labour. You need to lie down,” Dad warns.
“No, I need to go to my husband. I need you…I need you to…” A
scream tears from my throat as I drop forward. Dad catches me and I
squeeze his biceps with the sudden urge to bear down.
No.
Jaxon, come back to me.
“Lily, what’s going on?” Mum panics, pressing her hand on my
lower back.
“I—oh God, I think I need to push.”
There’s a thud behind me and I quickly glance back to find Max on
the floor, unconscious. Hayden glances down at him, rolling her eyes.
“Weak,” she mutters.
“Okay, we need to get you into the living room. The ambulance should
be here soon, and you don’t need to be going up and down those stairs in
your condition,” Mum orders. “Myles, go get the spare blanket out of the
boiler room. And a few towels.”
 “Mum,” I cry out, my knees buckling, but she’s there, helping me, Dad
on the other side. “I need to get to Jaxon.”
Mum wipes under her eyes, sniffling. “One thing at a time, princess.
First, let’s get you settled.”
“I can’t do this without him,” I cry out as I begin to shiver from the
cold. “Please, let me find him.”
She soothes my hair back and lifts my chin with her other hand. “Baby,
I know you are upset, I know you want to get to him, and if I was in your
position, I’d do anything to get to your father. But right now, we need to
deliver this baby. He or she isn’t waiting for anyone.”
“Listen to your mum,” Dad warns as he turns me, guiding me back into
the living room. “When Jaxon gets here, you want him to hear about all the
good parts he missed, not all of this.”
“You heard Hayden,” I point out.
“I did. I heard her loud and clear, and not once did she mention Jaxon.
It could be anyone. We won’t know until we get through to the others. Reid
is okay. You spoke to him, so you know he’s okay. It’s only a matter of
time before he calls his family and we’ll know what’s going on. Stay
positive, princess, and let’s get you laid down.”
Hope blossoms in my chest. “It’s Christmas. It’s when the magic
happens.”
Max groans. “Nothing magical about birth. It’s all fucking lies.”
“Max,” Mum hisses.
“It’s fucking true, which is why I’ll stay over here and not get in the
way.”
Myles drops the blanket on the floor, then drops pillows on one end of
the room so I’m facing the fireplace. “Privacy,” he informs me as Mum
helps me out of my coat before lowering me to the floor.
“If he’s okay, he’s going to miss it all. He kept worrying that he was
going to miss it,” I tell Mum, as my back arches off the floor, my entire
body tightening with a contraction.
“Get me a cold flannel,” Mum orders to someone behind us, and I lie
back, panting heavily. “Lily, we need to take off your tights. Are you
okay with that?”
I whimper. “Not until Jaxon is here. He can’t miss it.”
“Honey, I don’t want to scare you, but Jaxon might not make it in
time, or at all,” she explains, squeezing my hand.
 I shake my head from side to side, the pain in my heart unbearable. “I-I
can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can,” Dad orders. “And you can because you’re a Carter.”
“She’s legally a Hayes,” Hayden pipes in.
“Not helping,” Max snaps.
“Like you are a ton of help.”
“Please, princess, let your mum help,” Dad softly demands.
“I’m scared. I’m so scared and it hurts so much,” I choke out.
Suddenly, Faith is kneeling down beside me, clutching my
hand.
“You’ve got this, Lily. You are going to let Mum help. I’ll be here. I’m not
leaving you. None of us are leaving you.”
“B-but, but Jaxon.”
She drops her head to mine, closing her eyes, but I see the flash of
pain. “He’ll be here. He will. And when he is, he’s going to want to know
what he missed. And you will tell him.”
“She’s right. We’ve all got our birthing stories. Some were scary,
some were downright beautiful, but we’ve all got them. We all share
them,” Dad soothes.
“He’s right,” Malik calls out. “I mean, you should hear about Trent’s
birth. It went from bad to worse, and all because of Max, but then it got
better. So much better. So, it might seem bad now, but it will get better.”
“What happened?” I breathe out.
“Well…”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MALIK
Fucking Max.
All I wanted to do was go and get Harlow some more Creme Eggs
from the supermarket. That’s it. One simple task.
It didn’t take finesse, rocket science or even
skill. Until fucking Max.
Harlow has been craving Creme Eggs throughout the entire pregnancy.
However, only certain shops sell them now and they are getting harder and
harder to find. So, when Max ate the last two in her stash, she went ape shit.
Then went ballistic at me because I didn’t notice he had eaten them—
even though we were in the same room.
In my defence, my mind has been on nothing but my wife for weeks
now. This pregnancy has been nothing like her last pregnancy with the
twins. She’s weak more often, tired more often, and snappy more often.
Her hormones are so up and down I never know where I stand. I can’t do
right, no matter what I do. And I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that
she’s scared. The twins are nearly four, and with her university course and
working part-time, she’s been worried about how she’ll do it, forgetting she
isn’t alone. I guess this is something mothers go through, as do fathers,
since I’ve had the same hang-ups.
Those fears, however, have manifested, and all of her pregnancy
hormones along with them; heightening everything that is happening.
She’s never mean—she doesn’t know how to be. She’s just tired,
confused, and honestly, at this stage, fed up. She’s thirteen days overdue
and has her inducement booked in for three days’ time.
But my wife is suffering and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Her breakdowns are tearing me apart. The other day she started crying
because we had no pepper, so I ran out and quickly grabbed some from the
corner shop. The second I handed it over to her she burst into hysterics,
getting so worked up we had to put her up to bed so she could lie down.
And that is only one of her grateful outbursts.
Her blood pressure is low—extremely low—and I’m worried. I’m
concerned about my wife.
 And now I can’t even be with my wife because Max got me kicked out
of my own home for eating the only thing that has given her comfort.
To make matters worse, I had planned to go back and grovel with
boxes of Creme Eggs. I know how hard it’s been for her, especially with
her being overdue, and I just want to make it better.
However, that isn’t going to fucking plan.
Fucking Max.
Max got kicked out of his own house when he went to the triplets’
defence. He high-fived the little rugrats whilst Lake was trying to discipline
them. Lake has tried everything to get into a routine, to get some much-
needed R and R, but the triplets are hellions and have other plans for their
mum. So, she has been sending them to private day cares. And each one has
ended the same—with the owners calling for Lake to go get the triplets.
This is the last day care in our area and today, they got kicked out. And
from what Max said, they aren’t allowed back there under any
circumstances.
Max being Max, didn’t try to talk to his three infants, and instead
high- fived the little rugrats. Lake lost it and told Max to go to the shop to
get her some tampons and to take his time doing it—clearly needing a
break.
Which would have been fine had he not come to mine first, pissed my
wife off, and got us both kicked out of our homes.
If none of that happened, I wouldn’t be here right now. Because, even
at his age, even after the last incident, Max still couldn’t buy his own wife
tampons, and his reasons were because everything down under changes
after the birth of a child—whatever that means.
So, after picking up a box of each size, a multi pack, he then hid them
under his jacket, not wanting to get seen with them. And instead of
explaining any of that to the security guard who had been following us,
Max started yelling about how the shop was being discriminative. So, after
security spent twenty-minutes chasing him around the shop, the police
arrived, and we were both taken in so they could fill out an incident report.
Which is where we are now. A police station. When I should be at
home with my wife.
Max gives me a sideward glance as he drums his fingers against the
arm of his chair. “Bro, I said I’m sorry.”
I slam my fist against the table. “Max, you are always sorry. You’ve got
fucking triplets now. You are married, for fuck’s sake. When are you going
to grow up? I need to be in the police station like I need a knife to my gut. I
should be at home with Harlow.”
“Fuck, I said I’m sorry. It’s not like she won’t forgive you. She loves
me. I’ll have a word with her for you. I promise it will be the first thing I do
once we get out of here.”
I grit my teeth so hard I swear I hear one crack. “No, you won’t.” “Bro
—”
“Don’t,” I bite out, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Just don’t. I’ll
never understand why you do the things you do, so don’t try to explain.”
“Only Lake understands me, and even she’s in a mood with me right
now.”
“Can you blame her? You high-fived your kids for stealing every kid’s
lunch box and eating the contents.”
“Yeah, because they proved they can provide for themselves,” he
argues. “I’m a proud father.”
“And the care worker? How about what she went through?”
“Let’s not talk about that,” he mutters, dropping his elbow onto the
table as he leans in closer. “I want my kids to be free to do whatever
the fuck they want. Is that so wrong?”
“It is when their mum is at her wits end.”
His brows bunch together. “She’s at her wits end?”
I give him the side-eye. “Clue in, Max. She’s exhausted. The
triplets give her the run around twenty-four-seven.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I just want to give them what we
didn’t have.”
I give in, needing to know what he means—or try to understand what
he means. “What are you going on about?”
He locks his fingers behind his head, swinging back on the chair.
“I want them to feel safe enough to spill a drink on the floor, to eat the
last chocolate bar, to ruin their dad’s trainers or their mum’s shoes.”
“And to set their carer’s desk on fire?”
The front legs of his chair drop to the floor with a thud as he points a
finger at me, glaring. “That was an accident, and you know it.”
“Bro, they were screaming, ‘bigger’ and ‘pretty’ whilst clapping their
hands,” I mutter.
“Whatever.”
 “It still doesn’t excuse all of this,” I point out, gesturing to the
integration room.
He sags over the table. “Because parenting is hard. I’m stressed that
my wife is stressed. And when I’m stressed, I do stupid shit. Fucking sue
me.”
“Yeah, I got that,” I snap.
PC Lankan steps into the room, scratching the back of his head. The
female officer, PC Dylan, ducks her head, hiding her amusement. I guess
Max really made a first impression on her. PC Lankan has dealt with us a
few times before, which is why when he first arrived at the supermarket, he
tried to get back in his car and leave.
“Am I arrested?” Max demands. “Because I want this on record. I
wasn’t stealing them. Why would I? I’m a guy and I have no use for them.
And even if someone did try to steal sanitary products, it’s not like it’s the
end of the world. If someone is desperate enough to risk being caught
stealing them, then they need them and should be given them anyway. I
don’t—"
Lankan hooks his thumb into his belt. “You don’t have to explain.
Again,” he tells him. “One of the shift managers turned up as we were
getting you into the car. She explained you are a regular and a bit weird to
the security guy and that you meant no harm.”
“I’m not weird,” Max defends, turning to me. He jabs his thumb at the
officer. “He thinks I’m weird.”
I narrow my gaze. “You are weird,” I mutter.
“Anyway, they won’t be pressing charges and they have your stuff on
the side ready for you to pick up. Once you’ve paid,” PC Dylan explains.
“Like I’m going to take my hard-earned cash there again,” Max snaps,
pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Max, it’s the only supermarket you are allowed in,” I remind him. “Do
you really want to piss Lake off more?”
He huffs out a breath. “Then I guess I’ll go pay for it.”
“Thank God,” I mutter. “Now, can we go?”
Lankan lets out a relieved breath. “Yes, you are free to go.”
I push back and pick my phone up off the table. We were made to
turn it off once we got into the interview room. I switch it on, and
immediately, dozens of messages and missed calls come flooding in.
“Shit!”
“I’ll escort you out,” PC Dylan offers.
 “I’m telling you, it’s discrimination. My wife will be complaining to
the executives about this,” Max rants.
I tune him out, dialling Harlow’s number, listening to it ring out.
“Seriously, Max, you’re in here again?” PC Denmark retorts, a police
officer who we’ve become very acquainted with over the years.
I quickly flick my gaze in PC Denmark’s direction to see him staring
Max down with disappointment.
Max throws his hands up before slapping them down at his sides as he
looks to the heavens. “I went out for some goddamn tampons. That’s it.”
“Sheesh, calm down,” PC Demark orders, grimacing.
“Come on,” I fret, hearing the phone begin to ring once again.
“Malik,” Harlow screams down the line, and every fibre of my being
tenses, and I go on alert.
“Harlow,” I call out, hearing her heavy breaths. “Harlow, talk to me.”
“Everything okay?” PC Dylan asks.
I ignore her, focusing on Harlow. “Where are you? I’ve been calling
you for an hour.”
“Babe, what’s going on? Did you fall? What’s going on?”
“Where are you?” she bites out, and I hear Joan telling her to calm
down.
“I won’t calm down, Gran, not until he tells me what’s so important he
couldn’t answer the bloody phone when I call him.”
Fuck!
I look up, glaring at Max. “Sorry,” he mouths.
My shoulders slump as I answer. “I’m at the police station.”
I wince at her howl of pain. “Why a-are you at the police station?” she
bites out, and my stomach bottoms out at her tone.
“Shit!”
“Malik!” she cries.
“Max got us taken in,” I rush out as Max grimaces, taking a step back.
“Now, please, where are you?”
“I’m in fucking labour and you are at the police station?”
Shit!
My legs move into a run, and I push through the double doors, even as
the officer behind me yells something. Just as the cool breeze blows over
my face, something solid smashes into my abdomen, and before I can catch
myself, I go over the railing, landing with a thud on the grass below.
 What the fuck?
My phone lands beside me, and I can hear the tortured cry of my wife
as Joan tries to soothe her.
“Harlow,” I wheeze, lifting the phone to my ear. “I’m coming.”
“You’d bloody better be, and you tell Max that I am going to kill
him,”
she warns, rattling off the hospital address. “I swear, Malik, if you miss this
birth, I am going to kill you, because this is the last time I’m doing it. I
mean it this time.”
“I won’t, I promise,” I assure her, but the line is dead before I can
finish my sentence.
I glance up at Max as he stares down at me lying on the grass. “She’s in
labour, isn’t she?”
“Yes, you dick, and I might not make it,” I grit out, then jump to my
feet, wiping the dirt off my legs. I turn, walking right into a streetlamp. “For
fuck’s sake.”
“Language,” Max hisses.
I turn, ready to kill him, when the police officer steps between us.
“Where do you need to go?”
I rattle off the hospital address. “But my car is at the supermarket.”
“Um, why don’t I take you, so you make it there in one piece,” she
offers.
“Wise,” Max mutters.
I point my finger in his direction and he wisely takes a step back. “If I
miss the birth of my son, I am going to kill you.”
He points to the officer. “Dude, police officer, never admit to
anything.”
I glance down at her. “I’m going to kill him. Are you going to arrest
me?”
She turns her focus from Max to me, rolling her eyes. “If it wasn’t for
the fact my dad warned me about you two, I’d think you were being
serious. Now, let’s get you to your wife.”
I relax a little. “Thank you.”
“Your dad warned you about us?” Max asks, grinning wide.
“Your picture is in our staff room,” she mutters. “With a warning not to
feed you or engage in conversation.”
“Why? I’m a fucking hoot to talk to, and I find it really offensive that
they’ll target only me. And to starve me? That has to be a criminal offence
if you ask me.”
“Max, no one is asking, so shut up,” I warn.
“One of you will need to sit in the back,” she announces, her gaze
shooting from me to Max.
I scratch the back of my neck “Max can. He’s used to it.”
“Hey! No way. I want to press the siren button,” he pouts as we reach
her car.
She rolls her eyes and opens the backdoor for him. Muttering a curse,
he gets in and she slams the door behind him.
“Let’s get you to the hospital,” she demands.
“Thank you,” I tell her, truly meaning it.
Please forgive me, Harlow.

*** *** ***

I race down another cold sterile corridor, somehow having managed to

get turned around once again. This place is like a fucking maze. Harlow is
going to kill me if I don’t make it there in time.
And at this rate, I’m going to miss everything.
I spot a nurse’s station up ahead and pick up my pace, racing over to
the grey-haired nurse.
I place my palms down on the counter and lean in. “Hi, can you tell me
if I’m on the right floor? Is this the delivery ward?”
“It is,” she replies. “Are you looking for someone?”
“My wife. Her name is Harlow Carter.”
“Oh she’s—”
“Bro, she’s in there,” Max calls from down the hall. He grimaces as he
points to a door. “And I’d hurry. She’s pushing and it sounds like it hurts.”
“Thanks,” I tell the nurse before running off to meet Max.
“Wait, sir…”
I tune her out as I reach Max, and immediately hear a scream. “Fuck!”
“Go in there and tell her I’m sorry,” he tells me.
I barge inside at her cry, and my eyes bug out at what I walk into. Legs
in stirrups, chin to chest, a woman screams through her contraction.
“One more push,” the midwife orders.
The man at her side lifts his head and narrows his eyes on me. “Who
the fuck are you?”
 The midwife steps aside and I get full view of a head crowning.
From a woman who isn’t my wife.
Fuck!
“That’s not my wife,” I mutter, taking a step back, a little queasy.
A nurse quickly ushers me out of the room. And when the door slams
shut in my face, I begin to feel faint.
Max gulps. “Um, Mal, this lady says Harlow’s room is down the next
hall.”
I slowly turn to him and clench my hands into fists. “Dead. I swear,
after my baby is born, I’m going to kill you, Max. Kill you!”
He flinches. “It was an honest mistake. It sounded like Harlow.”
“Kill you,” I snap, shoving past him.
The nurse clears her throat. “Down that way. Third door on the right.
Her name will be on the board outside the room,” she explains.
I jog down the hall, my heart racing as I come to the door the nurse
pointed to. Her scream bounces off the walls, and even without her name on
the board, I know that scream. It’s Harlow.
I push open the door, and immediately, her head snaps up. “Get your
arse here, right now,” she demands.
I jog to her side, quickly giving Joan a chin lift. “I’m sorry. I’m so
fucking sorry.”
“Harlow, your baby is in distress. We need you to give us one big
push.”
“What’s wrong with our baby?” I demand, clutching Harlow’s hand.
“I can’t do this,” she cries, and I swear I hear my fingers crack as she
pushes through another contraction.
“You can,” I encourage.
Her eyes snap to me, and her glare is so lethal, I shiver. “Don’t you
dare speak to me. Not right now.”
I lean down, pressing my lips to her forehead. “Be mad at me later,” I
drawl quietly, before turning to the midwife. “What’s going on?”
The midwife shares a look with the other before answering. “Your
baby’s cord has gotten knotted around the neck. So, on the next push, you’ll
feel more pressure on your vagina, but I want you to keep pushing through
it. Can you do that?”
Harlow’s gaze locks on mine, and I push forward, squeezing her hand.
“You’ve got this. Everything is going to be okay.”
 Sweat drips down her face. “I can’t do this. It hurts. It hurts so much.
And you weren’t here.”
“I’m really sorry, babe, but you can yell at me later. Right now, I need
you to push. Can you do that?”
All of a sudden, we hear the Rocky theme tune and turn to the door
where the sound is coming from, to see a hand holding a phone through the
gap.
“Max, fuck off,” I growl.
“But look at everything you did to get here. It seems fitting,” he whines
through the gap in the door. “The kid will be born a legend to this song. I
played it during the triplets’ birth.”
“I am going to kill you, Max Carter,” Harlow screams.
“I’ve been getting that a lot today,” he mutters, as Harlow’s hand
clenches around mine.
“Now, Harlow; we need you to push now, and we need you to use all
your strength,” the midwife demands, as her and two other women stand at
the end of the bed.
Harlow sits up, bearing down as she pushes, chin to her chest. I press
my forehead against the side of hers, squeezing her hand to give her some
extra strength. “Come on, baby, you’ve got this,” I encourage, my throat
tightening.
“Just a little more,” the midwife yells.
Harlow’s scream pierces the air moments before she collapses back in
exhaustion.
The nurses rush to aid the midwife settled between her legs, and I
watch as my son is taken from her and rushed over to the basinet on the far
side of the room, where a bunch of people start checking him over.
I can’t tear my eyes away, a lump forming in my throat.
It all happened too quickly, and now, now… I clench my eyes shut. I
should have been here.
“Why isn’t he crying?” Harlow pleads. “What’s going on? What’s
wrong?”
It’s my turn to clench my hand around hers.
My lips part, but no words form. I have no words. I don’t know how to
make this better.
I stagger back, my gaze locked on to them working on our baby. Our
tiny, tiny baby.
 “Malik, do something,” she pleads. I glance down at my wife, and I
know, without one single doubt, that I can’t give her what she wants.
The midwives and nurses are the only people who can help with this. If
I could, I would.
I’ve felt powerless in my life; with my dad, when Harlow was hurt, and
when the twins were born. But I never once felt it like this.
“Malik,” she cries.
“Harlow, I—” A tear slips down my cheek as I watch the midwife rub
my son’s back, and as my baby’s head flops side to side, I plead to
whoever is listening. “Please, please let him be okay. Please.”
“I want my baby,” Harlow cries.
“Let the midwife do her job,” the second midwife gently soothes.
“Sweetie,” Joan mutters, her voice breaking.
“Gran, what’s going on? What’s happening?” Harlow cries, her entire
chest shaking with sobs. “Why isn’t he crying?”
And like he heard her plea, our son begins to wail, and I watch his skin
slowly turns pink, his tiny legs kicking back and forth.
“Fucking hell,” I rasp.
“Fuck!” Max breathed, and I glance up to see him standing next to
Joan. I never even heard him enter the room.
The only reason I don’t kick him out is because his gaze isn’t on my
wife, it’s on our son.
“You are going to need stitches, Harlow, so we’ll get them set up soon
for you,” the midwife announces.
My breath stalls in my chest as a woman strolls over, our son bundled
in her arms. “Here you go, Mum, Dad; meet your son,” she declares
softly, slowly placing him into Harlow’s arms.
Harlow sucks in a breath as she gently moves the towel away from his
face so she can see him clearly. “He’s so beautiful.”
I press a kiss to her forehead as the same overwhelming love I got
when the twins were born, hits me in the gut. “He’s okay,” I rasp, fighting
to stay standing.
She tilts her head up. “We did it. We have another baby boy.”
I press my lips to hers, our tears mixing together. “Yeah, babe, you
really did.”
Max rubs the back of his neck. “Do you know what you are going to
call him?” Max asks, before clearing his throat. “Because I still say Max is
a strong name. Just saying.”
Harlow glances up to me, her lips twitching. “We have a name. Gran,
Max, we would like you to meet Trent Carter.”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful boy,” Joan murmurs, as she strokes her
granddaughter’s head.
I stare down at my son, feeling my chest tighten. We could have lost
him tonight, but we didn’t, and I have to believe there is someone looking
down on us.
We did it. Again.
All my life I dwelled on my past. I let it control me. Suffocate me.
Until Harlow walked into my life.
She gave me a new path to go down. She brought happiness and
laughter into my life. She gave me love.
A life.
A family.
And now, three beautiful children.
Staring down at her watching our son, I can’t help but think of how
far we’ve come, how far I’ve come. And it’s because of this woman in
front of me.
This strong, brave, beautiful woman.
She tilts her head up. “He’s really okay,” she chokes out.
My eyes burn as a press I kiss to her lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she rasps. “He’s okay, Malik. They said he’s okay
now.”
I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
Joan distracts Harlow, and it gives me the time to observe, to stare in
wonder. To stare at the miracle of life.
Our son.
Our family.
My wife.
It had been a rough start; but what is life without its ups and downs?
Although I wouldn’t wish what happened to me or my brothers on anyone, I
sometimes wonder if it happened to us for a reason. There’s no denying it
made each of us who we are; but maybe that’s who we needed to be to meet
our other half.
I never believed in romantic crap until I met Harlow, never thought I
was worthy of it—I still don’t sometimes. However, I’d go through it all
over again if it brought me to this moment, to this life, because I can’t think
of a better reward.
Today could have ended a lot differently; it went from bad to worse,
and I’m truly grateful it’s all worked out.
And I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of the strong, brave, and
beautiful women in our lives.
Harlow places our son into my arms, and I rock him gently side to side.
I glance down at her beaming smile—although tired and worn out, still
gorgeous. “I’ll make the same promise I made to you when the twins were
born: I’ll never fail them. I’ll never fail you. And I’ll be the best husband,
and the best father to you and our children.”
She lets out a contented sigh, her finger brushing over our son’s foot. “I
know, Malik. You’ve never broken your promise to me,” she praises, and
for a moment, we are lost in each other, in the moment, until her expression
tightens and her gaze narrows. “Now tell me why the heck you were at the
police station.”
“Shit!” Max hisses.
“Shit,” I groan, hoping she would have forgotten that part of the day.
From her tone, and from the sound of her fingers drumming
impatiently on her lap, and the way her eyes squint to narrow on me, she is
not going to make this easy on me.
Fucking Max.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Lily
Sweat and tears mingle together as my lower abdomen shrivels up in
pain. I cry out, dropping my head back onto the cushions behind me.
Everything hurts.
Yet it’s my heart that is slowly killing me.
I need my husband.
Malik’s story was meant to make me feel better. It hasn’t. If anything, a
growing panic has festered inside of me. He had Harlow, and Harlow had
him. I’ve not got that, and I might not have it again.
One deceased.
The words are playing over and over in my head, pulling me further
down into a sad dark pit of nothing.
Jaxon only wanted to help his brother. It was meant to be a quick trip
there, and a quick trip back. He’s supposed to be with me, and with our
family. We are meant to have our first Christmas dinner together, go to his
mum’s and eat dessert, and play board games. We are meant to spend the
night together, making the most of the time we have together until the baby
is born.
And now…
Now I’m not sure what our future holds.
This morning we were so blissfully happy, but now… now my heart is
tearing apart.
Faith’s grip tightens around my hand as she leans in, her tears falling
and splashing against my arm. “See, everything will be okay, Lily. It’s
going to be okay.”
I shake my head, sobbing uncontrollably. “W-will you try him again?”
“I will,” she promises, pulling her phone out.
“Can I just add, I was not crying,” Max defends. “My eyes were
watering from the smell of the hospital.”
“You were crying,” Malik snaps.
“No, I really wasn’t. And if I was—and I’m not saying I was—have
you ever thought that maybe it’s because I was traumatised.”
Mum grips my knees, and I blink up through my wet lashes at her.
“Honey, I need to get your tights off, okay?”
 As another contraction hits, and the pain of the contraction traps me in
my own head, I nod, letting her do it. I can’t keep putting off the inevitable.
“Grab another blanket,” Mum orders Faith. “You lot, turn around and
give us a moment of privacy.”
As Mum lowers my tights, Faith covers my bare legs, blocking anyone
else from seeing down there except Mum.
I glance up at Faith, who has the phone back at her ear. “Any answer?”
Her lips tip down. “No, Lily, but I’ll keep trying. Maybe he doesn’t
have signal, or his battery is low.”
“He took it off charge this morning,” I heave out, gripping the blanket
beneath me.
No one said it will hurt this much. My pain tolerance is low on a
normal day, but I have a feeling this is just as bad for those with a high pain
tolerance.
“Myles, any update on the ambulance?” Mum calls out, and there’s
something in her tone that has the hair on the back of my neck standing on
end.
“What’s wrong?” I whimper.
“Nothing,” she lies, not meeting my gaze.
Please let my baby be okay.
“Mum, please,” I plead, cutting off the blood supply in Faith’s hand
as I tremble in fear.
“There’s just a little bit of blood,” she tells me, remaining calm.
I try to sit up, and Faith aids me. I glance down at the small spot on the
blanket between my legs, and then see more on my tights and knickers in
the corner. Horror fills me, and I glance at Mum. “There’s something
wrong with my baby, isn’t there?” I stammer, beginning to feel faint.
My breathing picks up, and each breath becomes a struggle, each one
tightening my lungs.
“We need you to try and calm down,” she soothes, lightly stroking my
knees.
“Breathe, Lily,” Faith orders.
I struggle to take in a breath, to form a word, and black dots form
before my eyes. I feel someone kneel down beside me, and a warm hand
wrap around mine, pressing it against a hard chest. “Lily, feel my heart,
feel it beat, and take a breath,” Maddox softly demands. “Take a breath.”
My baby.
 Maddox’s heart races beneath my touch but begins to slow as I take in
a breath. “One more,” he soothes.
“I’m already failing,” I cry out, falling back as I bear down, a heavy
pressure in my vagina. “I knew this would happen.”
“You aren’t failing. Bleeding is normal,” Mum assures me.
“It’s not just the bleeding, it’s all of it,” I admit, my head flopping to
the side as I begin to feel weak. “I’m not going to be a good mum. I’m
going to be just like her.”
Mum kneels between my legs, and leans forward, cupping my cheeks.
“Sweet girl, you are nothing like that woman. All your uncles, and your
dad, have all had their say, and I know your bond with them is stronger—it
always has been. But it’s my turn, sweetie.” She uses one of the towels to
dab the sweat and tears away. “You might not share my DNA, but you are
my daughter in every way that counts and matters. You are a part of me,
blood or not. And I’m telling you straight, you are nothing like that woman.
You don’t have it in you. Because whereas you share her DNA, you don’t
have her heart. And Lily, your heart is pure.”
“You don’t understand,” I choke out.
“What don’t I understand?”
“He stops the nightmares. He stops my freak outs. And now he won’t
be there if I have another black out. He won’t be there for our baby, and I
won’t be able to protect him or her. This won’t be the first time I’ll fail
my baby, Mum. I’ll fail them every time I freak out, or black out.”
“You aren’t going to fail them.”
“I will,” I scream, my back arching off the blanket. “Mum!”
She spreads my thighs apart. “I think you need to push. Do you feel
like you need to push?”
“Yes. But I—oh God, Mum, it hurts so much.”
“Okay, you need to push,” she orders, before glancing at the others on
the other side of the room. “Myles, call that bloody ambulance and tell them
to get here now.”
“On it,” he confirms, and I hear the door click shut behind him.
“I need Jaxon,” I bawl. “Mum!”
Her fingers tense on my knees and she shuffles backwards. “Okay,
push, baby, push.”
I push down, and although the pain intensifies, it somehow lessens too.
Faith grips my hand as I relax a little, feeling more drained than I did
before.
“Get a cold flannel,” Mum orders, and I hear the door open and close
again.
I shake my head from side to side. “I can’t do this. I’m not strong
enough. It hurts too much.”
“You can do this,” Maddox orders, his warm hand shaking in mine.
“I need Jaxon. I need him,” I choke out. “Please, someone find him.”
“If the accident is to do with Jaxon, I’ll go find out what hospital they
were taken to, and go see what’s going on myself,” Malik offers.
“It’s too dangerous out there,” Mum tells him. “It’s getting thicker by
the minute.”
“I’ll be okay,” he tells her.
“Mum,” I cry, as the pressure below intensifies, becoming unbearable. I
try to do the breathing exercises I learned at class, but instinct tells me to
fight it, which only makes it worse.
The pressure in my lower back is slowly twisting the muscles harder
and harder with each contraction.
“Come on, Lily,” Mum soothes.
I close my eyes as the cramp begins to slowly wear off, and picture
Jaxon. I picture his smile as he opened the rest of his presents, the sparkle in
his green, emerald eyes when we were in bed, and the sound of his laugh
when I struggled to get into my tights.
As another cramp hits, the mirage is shattered, and the pain takes over.
My pelvis feels like it will shatter any moment, but I push, following my
body’s instinct to do so.
I collapse back once it’s over, delirious and weak.
“I can’t do this.”
“Yes, baby, you can,” Mum remarks, spreading my thighs further apart.
“No. I need Jaxon. I can’t do this without him,” I bawl. “It’s too much.
It’s all too much.”
“I’m going,” Malik declares.
“Wait,” Dad calls out, but I hear the door open and Malik
leave. I stare into Mum’s eyes, my lips quivering. “I’m so
scared.”
She takes a moment to gather herself, inhaling and exhaling. “I know,
sweetie. I know. But I’ve got you.”
“You always have. Because you are the best mum in the world,” I tell
her as Faith grips my hand.
 My insides feel like they are being pulled out when the next one hits. I
shove my chin to my chest, trying to find the strength to push. “Lily, come
on, you have to push harder,” Mum demands.
I shake my head side to side as a cool flannel hits my forehead. “I
can’t. I can’t do it.”
A commotion from outside echoes through the house, and I hear Dad
yell something. My mind blanks as I push down, squeezing Faith’s hand as
I do.
“Lily,” Mum murmurs, and I look up, seeing her face pale and her
shoulders sag. She falls back onto the heels of her feet, staring at something
behind me. “Thank you, Jesus.”
“Lily,” Jaxon calls, and the air gets trapped in my lungs at the sound of
his voice.
It’s like a dream.
Like a sweet lullaby.
Then he kneels down beside me, replacing the spot Maddox was just
occupying.
“Jesus Christ. I got here as quick as I could. Are you okay? How are
you doing?” he stresses, his hand running down my arm.
I stare up at him, lost for a moment, not quite believing he’s real. But I
can feel him, I can smell him, and he’s definitely in front of me.
“You aren’t gone. You’re here,” I stammer, seconds before I begin to
shake with relieved sobs. I take in the cut above his eye and the bruise
forming across his jaw, and my chest aches even harder. “I didn’t think I’d
see you again, Jaxon. Then my waters broke.” I take in a breath. “Our baby
is coming, and I thought I would have to do it alone. I can’t do this without
you. I need you. I love you so, so, so much.”
“Lily, take another breath,” he orders.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I wail as another contraction hits. Once it
ends, I lean up, needing to feel him, to hold him. “Are you okay?”
He’s really here.
“Lily, I need you to lie back down,” Mum orders as I grip his
shoulders.
As I go back, he follows, and I wrap my arms around him. I shove my
face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his spicy cologne.
He hasn’t left me.
 I hold him closer. “You’re here. You are really here. I thought you
were…” It becomes too much, and I can’t find the words.
He’s here.
He will get to see our son or daughter grow. He’ll get to rock them to
sleep. We’ll get to have our future.
“Fuck,” he rasps, pulling back a little to rest his forehead against mine.
“Angel, I told you I’d be back.”
“Reid said you were—that you…” I whimper, clenching as another
contraction hits me. “Then they said one person died. I thought I lost you. I
thought we lost you. I can’t do this without you. It—”
His cool lips press against mine, silencing me for a moment. “Angel,
I’m not leaving you,” he promises, before turning to Mum. “Why isn’t she
at the hospital?”
“Ambulance is on the way,” Mum explains.
“I’m so sorry. I told you to hurry and it’s my fault. It’s my fault,” I
choke out, still clinging to his hands as I ramble.
“It’s not, Lily. And that’s not important right now.”
“What happened? What—” A scream tears from my throat, and Jaxon
leans forward, running a hand along my jaw.
“Lily, push,” Mum demands.
I do, but the urge leaves, along with my energy. “Jaxon, it hurts.” I
tremble, taking his hand.
“You can do this, Lily.”
“I thought I lost you,” I choke out.
“What happened?” Faith asks.
“The other driver—a woman—had a heart attack and lost control her
car. I’m fine. The other people in her car are fine, but she wasn’t though,”
he explains. “Reid was meant to ring and tell Lily I was going to be running
a little late and would be a while longer.”
“That’s not what he fucking said,” Dad grits out.
Jaxon’s jaw clenches and I run my hand along his jaw. “I’ll be having
words with him later.”
“I tried calling you,” I tell him, my breath hitching.
“My phone got smashed. And then I was trying to help get the daughter
out of the car. She was trapped in the back, so I asked Reid to call you. I’m
sorry. So fucking sorry. We were around the corner when Wyatt’s phone
began to ring. Paisley called us.”
 I grip his hands tighter. “I love you, Jaxon. Please, don’t ever leave
me.”
“Never,” he declares.
“Push really hard on your next contraction, Lily,” Mum orders.
“I’m so tired,” I wail, as another hits. I squeeze Jaxon’s hand, Faith’s in
my other, and push. “I can’t. I can’t. It hurts so much.”
I fall back and gaze up at Jaxon, my eyelids drooping.
“You can do this, Lily,” Jaxon claims.
I can’t.
Every fibre of my being has been drained of energy. My legs feel like
jelly, and I can barely lift my arms.
“Grab her legs and pull her knees to her chest,” Mum orders.
With one hand on my head, and the other at my leg, Jaxon leans into
me. “You’ve got this, Angel.” I close my eyes as he presses a kiss to my
forehead, giving me some of his strength.
Faith lifts the other, and as the next contraction hits, Mum’s breath
hitches. “I can see the head, baby. I can see the head.”
I push, yet the burning between my legs become too much and wins the
fight. My head flops back against the pillows. I’m too weak to keep it up.
“Paramedics are here,” Max yells. “Oh my God, the paramedics are
here.”
“Push, Lily,” Mum urges.
“Push,” Jaxon repeats with the same urgency.
With strength I didn’t think I had left in me, I push, bearing down with
everything I have in me.
“That’s it. That’s it,” Mum praises. “Faith, get me a towel ready.”
The paramedics walk in as the contraction dies off. “Jaxon,” I
whimper. “What a beautiful way to spend Christmas,” the woman
announces
cheerfully.
Max snorts. “Yeah, seeing your niece in pain is real beautiful.”
Mum shuffles to the side, and I feel pressure down below as the
paramedic examines me. Everything becomes hazy, and I fight to stay
conscious.
“What’s your name?” she asks, glancing up at me.
“Lily,” I reply drowsily.
“Lily, on your next contraction, I’m going to need you to really push.
Your baby’s head has crowned. I want you to push into the back like you
would if you were on the toilet. You’ll know it when you feel it. And tuck
your chin into your neck.”
I nod, and as the next contraction hits, with Jaxon on one side, Faith on
the other, I lift up a little, bearing down like the paramedic ordered, chin to
the chest.
The pain is indescribable, the pressure intense. It feels like my insides
are torn apart, right before there’s a moment of relief. It feels like a gush
of water, but I know it’s not. I know it’s my baby.
And it’s confirmed when I hear the sweet melody of his or her cry.
Jaxon slowly lowers my leg to the floor, and I roll my head on the
pillow, catching the paramedic working on our baby before wrapping him
or her up.
My baby.
It feels surreal. I’ve carried the tiny human for so long. I’ve felt them
kick, punch, and wiggle around. Now they are here.
“Congratulations, Mum; you have a baby girl.”
Tears stream down my face as they pass her over to me and the first
thing I notice is her dark fluff of hair. I cradle her in my arms, staring down
at her beautiful face, taking in her cute button nose and bow lips. I sniffle as
I glance up at Jaxon, who’s hand has moved to stroke our daughter’s cheek
to soothe her crying. “We did it. We are a mum and dad.”
It’s just us two, locked in our own little world.
The love shining back at me warms my heart. He’s staring at me like I
saved the world, and like he’s rejoicing and grateful over the act. His eyes
are swimming with unshed tears, and for a moment, the intensity of the vibe
I’m getting off him, overwhelms me.
My breath catches as he leans down, our lips touching. “I love you so
fucking much, Lily.”
“I love you too,” I reply, exhausted. My gaze goes back to our
daughter, not wanting to take my eyes off her.
She’s perfect.
Absolutely beautiful.
And I know without any doubt that I’ll never fail her. Not as a mum,
not ever. Before, Jaxon held my heart, but now, this little lady shares it
too.
“She’s perfect,” I whisper, reaching for her hand. I press my lips to the
tip of each finger.
Perfect.
 “Yeah,” Jaxon rasps, pressing his lips against mine, before he slowly
presses a kiss to his daughter’s forhead.
Mum makes a noise in the back of her throat. “What is her name?”
I blink out of our moment and share a smile with Jaxon. He nods,
giving me permission before I face her. “Mum, meet Rose Hannah Hayes.”
Her brows raise in surprise. “Lily,” she murmurs softly.
I run my finger over my daughter’s cheek, keeping my voice low as I
reply, “Faith wants to use Grandma’s name for her first daughter, so I
thought I’d use your mum’s name for mine. If she were a boy, we were
going to use William.”
“I love it,” she gushes, her entire face lit up with happiness.
“I can’t believe I’m a mum,” I tremble. “She’s absolutely perfect.”
“You were right,” Jaxon suddenly announces, his voice low and close
to my ear. I glance up from our daughter, to him, our noses brushing against
his each other before he pulls back.
“Right about what?” I ask, my brows pinching together.
“About Christmas.”
Christmas?
That isn’t what I thought he was going to say.
“What about Christmas?
His pupils dilate as he replies, his voice low and hoarse. “It really is
magical.”
As I glance down at my daughter, a smile tugs at my lips.
Magical.
“Told you,” I rasp.
Today could have been a lot worse, and for a while there, my future
looked to be a lonely one. But now it’s filled with so much more.
With the snow fluttering in thick flakes outside the window, the
twinkling lights giving off a soft glow, and the smell of Christmas dinner
cooking in the oven, I couldn’t think of a better time to give birth.
And minus Jaxon getting in an accident, I couldn’t wish for a better
Christmas.
Or a better future.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jaxon
The snow finally stopped last night, and although there is snow on the
pavements, the main roads are clear and the side roads are slush, giving us a
safe passage home.
It’s the day after Boxing Day, two days after Lily gave birth to our
precious baby girl. It has been a surreal couple of days.
I went from going to get Reid, to being in an accident, to freezing my
balls off trying to get the woman out of the car while we waited for the
emergency services, to getting a call from my sister screaming at me. The
minute she told me Lily was in labour, I made Wyatt put his foot down. As
soon as we got close to Maverick’s, I jumped out of the van and ran the rest
of the way, knowing it would be quicker.
Then I spent two days with my wife, giving her time to recover, and
watching our daughter.
My wife is a fucking warrior. I walked into that room hearing the
words, ‘I can’t.’ What I don’t think she realised—or still realises—is she
was already doing it. And although I never want to see her in that kind of
pain again, there is nothing more beautiful than watching my wife give
birth. I couldn’t be prouder of her.
Right now, however, I’m worried about her.
I understand her need to be near our daughter. I couldn’t stop watching
Rose—nor holding her if Lily put her down for five minutes.
That’s not what’s concerning me. What’s worrying me is her behaviour.
Back at the hospital, whenever I tried to leave, she’d go as pale as a ghost
and begin to shake. When I did leave—only to use the bathroom—I came
back to her freaking out. The nurses had to grab a paper bag for her to
breathe into so she could get through the panic attack. It had been a bad
one, and for a moment, I got scared she would pass out.
Thank God we had a great doctor and amazing nurses at our side
because they gave Lily her own separate room and let me stay with her.
Otherwise, I dread to think what might have happened.
I’ve also found her watching me over the past few days with a lost look
in her gaze.
 Now, on our way home, I can’t let it go on for a moment longer. It’s
going to eat at her if she’s constantly worrying about me. And there is no
way I want her first few weeks with our daughter to be about me and her
fear of me leaving. Not that I’m going anywhere in the next couple of
weeks.
“Angel?”
She twists back around in her seat after checking on Rose, something
she knows she shouldn’t be doing since she had to have stiches when we
arrived at the hospital. It’s what caused the bleeding during the birth.
“Yeah?”
“How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. A little sore still,” she replies softly.
“I mean about everything else.”
“What do you mean?”
I quickly flick the blinker on and pull over to the side of the road, not
far from home. After placing the car into park, I turn to her. “You are
worried about me. I see it every time you look at me.”
Her gaze flicks to the cut above my eyebrow. “You were hurt.”
“I know, Angel, but I’m good now. You can stop worrying about me.”
She lowers her gaze. “I’ll always worry about you. You are my
husband. I love you.”
I reach over, cupping her jaw, waiting until her gaze meets mine to
reply. “That isn’t the same. It’s affected you. But you don’t need to worry
about me. It was an accident and it’s over. And I know what Reid put you
through was traumatic, but it’s good now. I’m good.”
She fiddles with her cardigan. “I got scared. I’m still scared. I really
thought I had lost you, Jaxon. I can’t live without you.”
“You don’t have to, but even if you did, you could, Lily. You could
because you have so much to live for.”
She doesn’t hide the anguish in her expression. “No, Jaxon, I couldn’t,
because I’ll be dead inside. Maybe one day I’d pull through it, definitely for
our daughter, but what we have, what we share, it can never be replaced.
You are it for me.”
Her words make me wish I had punched Reid harder.
My wife, so kind with her words, generous with her time, and loving
with her heart, is hurting. I want to fix it for her so badly, but I’m not sure I
know how.
 “Lily, you are it for me too, which is why you should know that
nothing will ever stop me from getting home to you. Ever. I love you. I
love our daughter. And our life is going to be beautiful. Your life will be
beautiful.” I press my lips to hers, savouring her taste. She’s breathless by
the time I pull away. “You can’t let your fear of me being hurt affect you.
You can’t be scared every time I leave the room. It’s not healthy. I want
you to be happy, to live carefree; not scared I won’t be coming back.”
She runs her hand up my arm, pressing it against the side of my neck.
“I will try, I promise. I just need time. Everything happened so quickly, and
I’m… I’m still processing.”
“I know,” I tell her, leaning in for another kiss. “Now that’s sorted, is
there something else you want to talk to me about? I’m not sure if it’s about
the accident or what, but sometimes I get the feeling you want to talk to me
about something.”
“Actually, um, there is,” she tells me, her voice hesitant, low.
I link our fingers together, giving her a gentle squeeze. “What is it,
Angel?”
“First, I’m going to need you to be really honest. I don’t want you to
say okay, if it’s not really okay, or say what you think I want to hear. I
just… I need you to be honest, okay?”
I tense a little, wondering what this is about. “Go on,” I demand softly.
“I need to know that if I were to stop working, will we be financially
stable? I have savings, but they won’t last forever,” she explains, glancing
down for a moment.
I hadn’t been expecting that. “You love your job, Angel; why wouldn’t
you want to work?”
She runs the palm of her hand down her thigh. “I want to be a mum. I
want to be at home and watch her grow. Maybe when she’s a little older or
at school, I can go back. But right now, I don’t want to be a working mum.
But I will if it’s something we need to do financially. I don’t want you to
carry the burden.”
I give her a reassuring squeeze. “I’ve got you both covered. We are
good. I promise,” I tell her, but a small smile reaches my lips. “But
why until Rose goes to school? What about our other children?”
She throws her head back, laughing. “I’ve just given birth and you are
already planning for our next baby.”
“Anything to keep you tied to me.”
 Her brows scrunch together. “I’m already tied to you. Our child, or
future children, won’t change that. You are it, remember?”
I grin before pressing my lips to hers. Her taste is as sweet as ever.
Fuck, my wife can kiss. The doctors said six to eight weeks until we
could be intimate again, but fuck, she’s killing me.
Her tongue flicks against mine, and I groan.
She pulls back, her lashes fluttering. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I rasp. “Now, it’s time to get my girls home.”
“I like the sound of that. It feels weird without Rose in my arms.”
I put the car into gear and pull away from the curb, chuckling. “You
are going to make bedtimes difficult if you don’t put her down.”
“Like you are any better,” she teases.
“She’s like her momma, so goddamn beautiful, so of course I don’t
want to let her go.”
“I understand my brother now more than ever. He didn’t like anyone
holding Sunday either. I thought it was because he didn’t trust anyone, but
he just didn’t want to let her go.”
“I think somewhere deep down it was because he didn’t trust anyone
with her. Apart from you. I’ve never seen him have an issue with you
having Sunday.”
We round the corner of our street, and whatever Lily is about to say
gets stuck in her throat as she inhales sharply. “What is going on?”
Up ahead, our family are congregated outside our house. Some are
holding balloons, some hold congratulation banners, and some hold gift
bags or flowers.
“I have no idea,” I admit, pulling onto the drive. “Wait there, I’ll help
you out.”
She’s waving at her mum and dad as I slide out of the car. “What are
you all doing here?” I ask, greeting my brothers.
“Wait for it,” Eli replies, jerking his head to the others.
I rush around the car, saying hello as I pass by the others. Maverick is
already opening the door for Lily. He helps her down and she takes a look
around at everyone. “What is going on? Why is everyone here?” she asks,
her entire face lighting up at the sight of them. “I thought you were all
coming tomorrow.”
“Merry Christmas,” is yelled from the crowd.
“And congratulations,” is followed.
 Her mum steps up beside her husband, wrapping her arm around his
waist. “We decided that since you missed Christmas Day, we would make it
up to you and bring Christmas to you.”
“So today, pretend it’s Christmas Day again,” Maddox teases.
Lily wraps her arm around me as she glances around at the others.
“This is, this is…” She bursts into tears, this time happy tears, as she clings
to me.
“Guys, the gesture is sweet and all, but she needs to go inside and rest,”
I explain, trying to remain respectful as I pull her closer.
Mum grins as she steps up beside the in-laws. “We have dinner
cooking. It’s nearly done. Me, Maverick, Teagan, Maddox, and Lily’s
siblings are going to be having dinner here with you two. The rest of them
will be split between your grandpa’s and Charlotte’s.”
“Mum,” I begin but she cuts me off, giving me the ‘mum stare.’
“Lily will be waited on hand and foot. She is not going to lift a finger.
And if she wants to go lie down and rest, then that’s what she will do. We
will pack up and go.”
“Lily, what would you like to do?” Teagan asks.
Lily lifts her head, wiping her red nose with the sleeve of her cardigan.
“I really did want to make it a great Christmas.”
“It’s already been the best Christmas of my life, Lily. You gave birth to
our daughter.”
Her hand presses against my chest, above my heart. “Please. It’s
family.”
I let out a breath. “Okay, but the first yawn and everyone is leaving,
and you are getting some rest.”
She beams wide at me. “Thank you.”
“Now, everyone, quickly give your congratulations, so I can get them
both inside.”
I pull open the back door and smile as I see Rose sleeping soundly in
her car seat, her pink hat lopsided. After tucking the blanket around her, I
unclip her seat, before lifting her out.
Everyone begins to gush, which I knew they would. I just wish they
would do it whilst we were inside, in the warmth.
“Right, come on everyone, give them some room,” Aiden yells.
“You’re just hungry,” Wyatt retorts.
“Yeah, so would you be if you knew how good it tasted,” he replies.
 “All of you will get a chance to come say hi,” Mum announces. “Now
come on, get moving.”
“Wait, before you go inside, there’s, um, can I talk to you, Lily?” Reid
asks.
Her expression drops to concern. “Reid, what happened to your face?
Jaxon said you weren’t in the accident,” she rushes out, and snorts from my
siblings filter through the air.
His gaze flicks to me, and he gulps. “I, um, I walked into a door.”
“Oh Reid. You need to be careful. It looks really painful.”
“Yeah, the door was made out of solid oak,” he replies, trying to sound
light. “So, um, can we talk?”
“Of course.”
“Let me take Rose inside,” Maverick offers.
“Wait, we will come inside with you,” Lily rushes out, and I laugh.
“She doesn’t want to leave her,” I explain.
Maverick’s expression softens. “I get that.”
Reid holds up his hands. “It’s fine. I can talk another day.”
“It’s okay. You can come inside,” Lily tells him, and as Maverick helps
Lily into the house, I carry our daughter.
Once inside, I take a second to savour the moment. We are home, and
we are a family of three.
People spend their lives chasing their dreams, taking the next step in
life, or seeking something better. I’ve managed to find it all in one person.
Lily.
There isn’t a love greater than the one I share with her. There isn’t a
dream I wish to seek because she is my dream. And every step I now take in
life, I take it with my wife at my side.
I clear my throat and turn to the first person, who happens to be
Teagan. “Teagan, will you take Rose into the front room for us?”
“Of course,” she replies, taking the car seat off me.
When Lily goes to protest, I pull her against me. “She will be fine for a
few minutes. Let’s hear Reid out so he can go eat his food. He’s probably
starving.”
She relaxes against me. “Okay.”
I turn to my brother, who shifts nervously at the front door. “Say
whatever you need to say.”
 He nods, running a hand across the back of his neck. “Lily, I just want
to say I’m sorry. I should have started with ‘he’s fine’ but I didn’t, and for
that, and for the stress I put you through, I’m truly sorry.”
“Reid, you didn’t know your phone was going to die,” she replies
softly. “It’s okay now. Everything worked out in the end.”
“I know, but I truly am sorry. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t got drunk the
night before I would have been okay. And you wouldn’t have been stressed
and gone into labour.”
She bites her bottom lip, hesitant for a moment. “I think I had been in
labour before Jaxon left and I put it down as Braxton hicks.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask, only just hearing this
now. “I didn’t want you to worry. I wanted you to enjoy
Christmas.” “Angel,” I murmur.
She places her hand on my chest before turning her attention back to
Reid. “Thank you for apologising, but it’s really unnecessary. You weren’t
to know, and it couldn’t have been helped.”
“Thank you for feeling like that. It means a lot that you don’t blame
me. But still, I’m sorry.”
“Today is about celebrating, so why don’t you come inside and have a
drink and something to eat.”
He quickly turns to me, and I narrow my gaze on him. He takes a
breath. “I can’t. I have to be at grandad’s. He needs some help.”
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Angel, why don’t you go check on Rose. Reid will be okay,” I
promise her.
She nods and lets me go to pull Reid in for a hug. “Merry Christmas,
Reid.”
“Merry Christmas, Lily. And congratulations.”
“Thank you. Make sure you pop back so you can meet your niece.”
“Can’t wait,” he replies sincerely.
She leaves, and once I know she won’t hear, I turn on Reid. “Thank
you for apologising, but this doesn’t mean you’re forgiven.”
“I know. Fuck, do I know. I just needed her to know it wasn’t
intentional. I really am sorry, Jaxon. Truly.”
“I want to say I know and it’s okay, but I’m still pissed. And after
hearing everyone else’s take on the day, I can’t move past that anger. Not
yet anyway.”
 “I get it. I do. I’d be the same if it was reversed. But just so you know,
I’m kicking myself enough.”
“I do know that,” I admit.
“Congratulations, bro. I’ll be back round later. I think Mum has us
coming in twos, so Lily isn’t overwhelmed with guests.”
I lift my chin in understanding. “Thanks for coming and for
apologising.”
“Yeah.”
He leaves and I’m left to my own thoughts. I don’t want to be hard on
him, but I can’t help it. What he did was reckless and stupid. He not only
put himself at risk, but he also put me and Wyatt at risk. But what I can’t
forgive or forget any time soon is that he put Lily and our daughter at risk.
When Maverick filled me in on everything I missed once Lily was asleep,
my heart tore in two. She went through the wringer, and I wasn’t there for
her.
“He really is sorry,” Mum announces, startling me. I didn’t hear her
walk in.
“Yeah, but he needs to learn, Mum. What he did could have ended
badly.”
“I think this will be a wakeup call. I think you forget that people make
mistakes. You’ve always been head-strong and determined. You don’t
know what it’s like to make a mistake.”
“I make mistakes, Mum. I just don’t make stupid ones like Reid.”
“Because you had no other choice. And that’s my fault. You took too
much on far too young after we lost your father.”
“Mum—”
“No, I don’t need you to make me feel better. Just please, go easy on
him, Jaxon. He might act like he doesn’t give a shit about anything, but you
boys are everything to him. Lily is like a sister to him, and he cares for her a
great deal. So please, go easy.”
I give it some thought. “Alright, Mum, I’ll try. I just need some time.”
She leans up, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “That’s all I can ask for.”
“Thanks for everything, Mum. Maverick said you and Teagan got
everything finished in the nursery and made sure we had everything ready
for when we got back.”
“It’s my pleasure,” she croons, gazing into the living room where Lily
holds our daughter. “I’m so proud of you, son. And if your dad were here,
he’d say the same thing.”
“Mum,” I rasp.
“He would. You’re a good man. A great husband. And you’re going to
make a fantastic dad. I couldn’t be any prouder than I am right now, my
boy. You’ve done yourself proud.” She takes a breath, composing herself.
“Lily, she’s special, and I love her for you. What you are building will only
grow and I wish it for you, son. I wish you all the happiness in the world
because you deserve it.”
I pull her in for a side hug, kissing the top of her head. “Mum, I’m the
man you raised me to be. Thank you.”
She lightly smacks my arm. “Go be with your family. I’ll go and check
on the dinner.”
I watch her leave, letting her words sink in. I guess everyone is feeling
the emotions running high in the air.
Lily and I aren’t building a beautiful life, we already have that. What
we will have in our future is just a bonus. And I know, without a shadow of
a doubt, our future is going to be amazing.
It couldn’t be anything less, not with Lily at my side.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lily
Leaving Jaxon to talk to his brother, I begin to feel like I should have
said more. I know he’s mad at Reid. I know a lot of people are. But I meant
what I said. Reid had no clue he was going to be cut off or that I’d take it
the wrong way. They can’t blame him for that. It could have been anyone
on the other end of the call and I would have freaked out all the same.
Still, as I turn, Reid’s shoulders slump, and I want to go back over and
make it better. After all, they wouldn’t be so mad if I hadn’t reacted badly.
My heart still has that ache inside it whenever I think of ‘what if’.
However, Jaxon is right. I can’t keep going on like this; scared he’ll
leave and not come back. I’ll still worry; I always will. The man trying to
mess with his business hasn’t helped. He’s already tried to kill him—us—
by setting a house on fire. I’m scared of the lengths he will go to next.
Jaxon protects me from it, but I know it’s weighing on him. I know it’s
getting dangerous.
I guess Reid’s phone call and my reaction all festered from that.
It’s something I’ve been scared will happen for a while. That dreaded
phone call to tell me Jaxon is hurt, or worse… that he’s been killed.
“Get off your feet,” Dad lightly orders.
“I never got this treatment when Sunday was born,” Aiden mutters.
Dad pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s because you didn’t
give birth.”
“Parenting is parenting,” Aiden retorts.
Dad freezes. “Son, do not say that in front of a woman. Ever.
Especially one who has had a child,” he scolds.
Aiden grimaces. “Sorry.”
“Go help out in the kitchen,” Dad orders.
Mum places Rose in my arms, and I can’t seem to pull my gaze away
from her sleeping form.
There are pieces of my heart I didn’t know existed until the moment
she was born. I loved her before. I loved her with everything I had for nine
months, but the moment she was born, my world got bigger, my heart grew
fuller, and my life started down a new path—one I feared but am now
excited for.
 “She’s beautiful, Lily,” Mum declares softly.
And it hits me; how lucky I am to have such an incredible, kind, loving
family.
I nod, my eyes welling up with tears. No one told me my hormones
would be worse after giving birth, so the tears come at random.
“I love her so much. I’m scared to put her down. Sometimes it doesn’t
feel real,” I admit quietly, not wanting to disturb her sleeping.
“We felt the same with you lot. It passes quickly with boys though,”
Dad teases.
My gaze flicks to Jaxon, checking to see if he’s okay. He’s still in a
heated discussion with Reid. I bite my lip, turning back to Dad to reply. “I
don’t think this will ever pass.”
My heart is filled with so much love.
Mum wraps her arm around me. “It won’t. It expands and grows, but it
will never pass.”
“I feel silly,” I admit.
“What about?”
“For thinking I’ll ever be anything like her. For being scared I’ll make
a terrible mum. For all of it.”
Dad’s jaw tightens. “Lily—”
“It’s fine. I realise now how ridiculous it was to think like that. I let my
fears fester. I let her get into my head. She wasn’t a mother. She was just a
woman. A cruel, sadistic woman. And I know that now. I know it because
the moment I held Rose in my arms, I became a mother. I felt it. And I
know I’ll never let anything or anyone hurt her,” I explain, before turning to
Mum. “But it’s more than that. You showed me with words and with
actions what a mother’s love is. I just never knew how much you loved me
until I had Rose. Until I understood the meaning of a mother’s love. I love
you, Mum. I love you so much and I’m so grateful for everything.”
Mum leans forward, pride and love pouring from her. She presses her
hand to my cheek whilst kissing the other. “Loving you has always been
easy.”
I beam as I stare down at my daughter. “I’m still scared I’ll mess up.
But I’ll deal. Because she needs me to. And for her, I’ll be strong.”
Dad leans forward, placing his hand on my knee. “Lily, you’re always
going to wonder if you are doing things right, or if it’s wrong. You’ll always
fret about the small things. You’ll be scared every day. But that’s what it
means to be a parent, to care so much about someone else that you just
want to be the best you. For them. For you. For your family,” he explains,
smiling at me. “And you’ve never failed at anything. Parenting for you is
going to be a breeze. And if it’s not, you’ve got us and the rest of your
family who will step in and help.”
“And by that, he means, let us please, at least get once a week,
babysitting duty,” Mum adds, her tone light. “With Madison taking on more
responsibilities at the shop, I’m no longer needed there.”
“Maybe in a month or two. I’m, um, I’m not going back to work. Not
for a while. I want to be at home with Rose.”
“You aren’t going back to work?” Dad asks, a little stumped over it.
“I want to be a mum. I want to enjoy every road this journey will take
me down. I will go back eventually. Just not right now.”
Mum gives me a light squeeze. “It doesn’t change anything,
sweetheart. You and Jaxon will need a date night soon enough and we will
be here to babysit.”
I smile at her attempt to change the subject back. “Yeah, we will.
Thank you, Mum.”
Jaxon steps into the room, smiling as he glances down at me.
“You couldn’t help yourself, could you?”
I giggle. “Technically, Mum got her out, but nope, I couldn’t. I
just want to hold her forever.”
He takes a seat on the other side of me, just as Max and Lake step
through. Lake immediately rushes over, bending down to see Rose.
“Oh, Lily, she is beautiful.”
“Would you like to hold her?” I ask.
She nods and gently takes Rose from my arms. My heart stops for a
moment, but I remember she’s okay, that she’s with Lake. And if
anyone can survive raising triplets, one baby will be a breeze.
“God, I forgot how small they are,” she murmurs.
Max scrunches his nose up. “Don’t go getting any ideas. I gave you
three. That’s enough, woman.” He leans over to get a peek, and I smile as
his expression softens. “She is cute. The boys were ugly babies.”
“Max, no they weren’t.”
He looks to his wife like she has two heads. “Babe, Landon had an egg
head for weeks and Liam’s face looked wrinkly and old.”
“What about Hayden?” Jaxon asks, grinning.
 “Most beautiful baby in the world. Except for this one of course.”
“I can’t believe you said that about our boys. You held them after
I
gave birth and said they were beautiful,” Lake argues, keeping her voice
low.
“I lied.”
Lake goes red in the face. “You lied?”
“They had blood and all sorts of shit on them. And you were a mess. I
went on auto pilot and said the first thing that came to me. But come on,
you have to admit, it was cringy.”
“Max, do not speak to me.” I try not to laugh as she hands me back my
daughter. “Lily, congratulations. I’ll pop in again soon. Alone.”
“Thank you for coming.”
She nods. “You’ve got presents upstairs. We didn’t want to overwhelm
you, so we dropped all of the Christmas and baby presents upstairs.”
I love my family. “Thank you.”
She walks out, but as she reaches the door, she stops, turning and
jabbing her finger in her husband’s direction. “Do not follow me.”
He drops down into the armchair, huffing. “I’m not wrong.”
“Max, quit while you’re ahead,” Dad mutters, causing me and Mum to
laugh.
Max expression changes, and I know the incident that just happened
has been completely erased from his mind.
He slaps his hand down on the arm of the chair. “Bro, are you trying
to outdo everyone by having the most of everything? First with your kids,
and now with the grandkids. Faith will be next, old man.”
Dad arches an eyebrow. “How do you know Hayden won’t be
next?” I laugh at Max’s expression. His jaw drops, and his eyes
bulge. “My
Hayden is waiting for the right guy.”
“She’s with Clayton,” I remind him. “And they love each other very
much.”
“Yeah, and he’s alright for a suit, but he steals her food, and she hates
it. She wants to wait for the right guy, for marriage, so I’m good on that
front.”
“You gave her permission to have kids,” Mum points out.
“I didn’t mean to say it. It was in the heat of the moment. Sheesh, why
does everyone keeping bringing up old shit?”
 “Well, I don’t care. I love my grandchildren and wouldn’t change
them for the world,” Dad tells him.
“Don’t, Dad; Jaxon is already planning for the next one,” I
tease. He glares at Jaxon. “She’s just given birth.”
Jaxon chuckles. “She said the same thing. I’m happy to enjoy the three
of us for a while, but I’m not going to lie, I want more kids.”
“Me too,” I agree, running my finger down Rose’s cheek. I
couldn’t picture my life not being a mum now. She’s the centre of my
world. My everything.
And Jaxon gave this to me. He gave me love. A life. He gave me a
family.
Faith steps into the room, smiling. “Are you up for two new guests?”
Faith has been at the hospital with me. Neither her or Mum left my
side, and I’ll be forever grateful they were there for me during the birth and
after.
“Who is up next?” Jaxon asks.
“Star and Miah want to come in and say hi.”
I nod vigorously. “Please, send them in. I want them to meet Rose.”
She nods and leaves to go let them in. “Mum, thank you so much for
setting this up for us. It means the world to me.”
“It wasn’t just me. Liza and everyone else helped too.”
When Star heads through, she doesn’t barrel into the room screaming.
If anything, she’s tiptoeing, and being cautious, her hand clasped around
Miah’s.
“Come meet Rose,” I encourage softly.
Mum moves out of the way. “Take a seat, Miah. I’m going to help out
in the kitchen.”
He reluctantly takes a seat next to me as I hold out Rose for Star to see.
“She’s so tiny,” she murmurs in awe.
“She is.”
“And she was born on Christmas Day?”
“Yeah, she was. She made a proper little entrance.”
“Lily?” she calls but stops herself from whatever she’s about to ask.
“What do you want to ask, sweetie?”
“Do you think she will want to play with me when she’s older?”
I smile at the kind-hearted girl in front of me. “Star, she’s going to want
to be your best friend when she’s older. I have no doubts about it.”
 “You really think so?”
“Oh, I know so,” I assure her.
“I can’t wait to tell all my friends,” she admits quietly, her gaze still
filled with wonder.
“Bet this has made you rethink my Christmas present now, huh, Miah?”
Max goads.
Miah snorts. “Pretty sure if I told your school what you are giving out
for Christmas presents, you wouldn’t be so cocky about it.”
“Language,” I lightly scold.
“Sorry, Lily.”
“Boy thinks he’s a man,” Max retorts.
“Stop baiting him,” Maverick warns.
“Alright, alright. I’m going to see what’s going on in the kitchen.”
“Do you want to hold her?” I ask Miah.
Horror fills his expression, and he shuffles back on the sofa, moving
away from me. “God no. I’ll break her.”
“You won’t break her. Come on, say hello.”
“Do I have to?”
“No, I’ll never force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” I assure
him.
He watches me for a moment before groaning, sitting up straighter.
“Okay.”
“Can I hold her after?” Star asks, not taking her gaze off my daughter.
I tap her button nose. “Of course you can. Let your brother hold her
first.”
“Support her head over the crease of your elbow,” Jaxon warns, as I
gently place her in Miah’s arms.
“He’s got it, Jaxon,” I tell him.
“God, she’s so tiny. Aren’t you afraid you’ll hurt her?” Miah asks,
gazing down at Rose.
He doesn’t know what his question means to me. Or how fundamental
my answer is. “No, Miah; no, I’m not afraid I’ll ever hurt her.”
He gazes down at her, his expression soft, and whether he realises it or
not, a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
“I guess she’s okay—for a baby.”
“Dinner’s ready,” Mum yells. “Come to the table.”
 I smile, gently taking her from him. “Quickly jump up so Star can have
a hold. Are you staying for dinner?”
“No. We are actually off out, which is why Blanche hasn’t come in.
She said she will pop in when you’ve not got so many visitors. Personally, I
think Hayden scared her away.”
Jaxon quickly runs over how to hold Rose to Star as I reply to Miah.
“She is more than welcome here,” I tell him.
Star takes in a breath, her entire body tense as she holds Rose. “I love
her so much.”
My heart melts at her words. “She loves you too.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m her mummy.”
“Come on, squirt, time to go. We can come visit another day,” Miah
tells her.
“But—”
“It’s fine. You go on out. You can come back anytime you want to,” I
assure her.
“You promise?”
Tucking Rose to my chest, I smile. “I promise.”
She slides off the sofa, jumping to her feet. Once down, she leans over,
pressing a kiss to Rose’s head. “Look after her while I’m gone.”
I chuckle at her order. “I will.”
As they leave, Jaxon takes Rose from me. “I’ll put her in her Moses
basket while we eat.”
“But—”
“Angel, you haven’t eaten since yesterday. You need to eat. We don’t
know what the night will bring or how tired we will be tomorrow.”
I sigh, dropping my hands to my side. “Okay.”
“You okay to walk or are you too sore?”
“I’ll be okay,” I promise as we make our way into the kitchen.
I gasp when I see the large table set up how Mum sets hers at
Christmas. Lights are pinned wall to wall around the room, and Christmas
songs are playing softly in the background.
But there are also ‘It’s a girl’ banners with a few pink balloons
scattered around.
“Merry Christmas and congratulations on the birth of your daughter,”
they cheer as we step into the room.
 “Guys,” I murmur, dropping my head against Jaxon’s shoulder.
This is just…
Phenomenal.
Jaxon pulls out the chair for me, before gently laying Rose down in the
Moses basket between us.
The food is bursting over the table, the smell divine and tantalising.
They’ve put so much effort into everything. There are personalised name
plaques, personalised crackers, and red, pink, and gold confetti, mixing the
two celebrations together.
I tune out the chatter around the table and face my husband, my heart
bursting with joy.
This is what he promised me.
And this is what he gave me.
He feels my gaze on him and turns to me, his expression soft and filled
with love. “You okay?”
“Just thinking that maybe Christmas isn’t the only time magic
happens.”
He smirks, leaning in, our daughter sleeping between us. His lips brush
against mine. “No, the magic starts with you. Always with you.”
He is wrong.
It’s our love.
“Merry Christmas, honey,” I rasp, and before he can reply, I press my
lips to his, kissing him with all my love, all my heart, and all my mind.
Our future is unknown; but our love is not.
And together, we don’t need Christmas to make it magical.
We just need each other.
Always and forever.
BONUS CHAPTER
FAITH
He’s being mysterious, which I’m not sure is a good sign. Beau has
always been so honest and upfront.
Yet, whatever this surprise is, he has been tight-lipped about it. I have
no clue what it is other than it needed me to dress up but keep casual.
Maybe he’s taking you out for dinner.
However, that doesn’t explain Buster and Roxy being here. Restaurants
don’t exactly take too kindly to dogs being brought inside. And it’s not like
we could leave them in the flat. We are still waiting for the papers to be
signed on the new property. Heck, I still haven’t seen the new property.
Borrington Fields are huge and go on for miles, with dozens of landowners.
I fell in love with a property down there, but the owner will never sell.
He pulls over onto the side of the road, and a smile lights up his face.
“Is this where you kill me and dump my body?” I joke.
That knowing smirk is back. God, he is killing me.
“No, this is where I blindfold you.”
He pulls out a silk, black sleep mask. “What? Why?”
He pauses with it over my head. “Trust me?”
My shoulders slump because I do. “With my life.”
“Then let’s put this on, and no peeking,” he warns.
I let him slide it over my eyes, blanketing me in darkness.
What kind of surprise involves an eye mask?
“Can’t you give me a little hint?” I ask as he pulls off.
“Nope. All will be revealed in a minute. We are nearly there.”
Nearly there?
I should have taken note of my surroundings. I hadn’t because the
nerves started to kick in and all I could think about was where he was
taking me.
Around fifteen minutes later, the sound suddenly changes as the car
moves off the smooth tarmac and onto a gravelly road. I try to hear
something, anything other than the tyres to clue me in to where we are.
Nothing.
“Don’t take the mask off,” he tells me as the car comes slowly to a
stop. “I’ll help you out, okay?”
 I grin. “Beau, what is going on? Where are we?”
I hear the smile in his voice. “You’ll see.”
A whisk of a cool breeze swirls around the car as he pushes open the
door. It shuts moments later, and I hear his boots crunching down on gravel
as he rounds the car.
My heart begins to race, and my stomach feels like it’s in a blender.
The door clicks open, and I let in a sharp intake of breath.
I’m not sure why I’m so nervous, why my heart feels like it will beat
out of my chest.
He reaches for my hand, linking our fingers together. “Breathe. I’m not
going to kill you,” he teases. “This is a good surprise.”
I let out a breath. “Sorry, I’m just nervous. It’s hard not to be when I
don’t know what’s going on.”
“All will be revealed in a few moments,” he assures me. I step out of
the car, smelling nothing but earth. He lets out an ear-piercing whistle.
“Boys, come on.”
I hear the locks on the car lock before he takes my arm, guiding me
forward. The ground beneath me is uneven, giving nothing away as to
where we are.
He steps up behind me, bending until his breath is at my ear. “Now you
can pull the mask off.”
I hesitate for a moment, a little nervous as to what this is about.
Slowly, I lift up the silk eye mask until it’s off. The minute I lay my
eyes on a house I know far too well, I become puzzled.
It’s a house on a farm I’ve been wanting to purchase for a while, and
although it started off out of my price range, I saved enough for the deposit.
However, the owner refused any offer I made.
On the stone stairs leading up to the front door are lit lanterns, and rose
petals are scattered over each step.
“Beau, I-I don’t understand; why are we here?”
He takes me by the hips, slowly moving around until he’s in front of
me. The house behind is still my main focus, but when he puts pressure at
my hips, I pull my attention to him. “Not long ago you told me this place
was your dream.”
“Yes, I’ve wanted it for nearly two years now,” I remind him, having
already told him about this place. Which is why I’m confused as to why we
are here. “I want to start my own animal shelter and this land is perfect. It’s
beautiful.”
He smiles. “I know. I also found the owner.”
“You did?” I ask, stumped. I have been begging the estate agents to let
me meet with him for years, but they would never divulge his information. I
thought maybe if I could get him to listen to me, he wouldn’t be so hesitant
to sell to me.
“I did. I also spoke to him. He and his wife owned this property for
years before she passed away and he became sick. His parents owned it
before them and so on and so on. The reason he hasn’t accepted your offer
is because he has wanted it to go to a couple, one who will eventually start
a family. He wants children to grow up in it, and since he never got to have
any children, he never got to pass it down.”
My heart aches for the man. “Oh no. No wonder he’s been so hesitant
to sell it.”
He tucks me against his chest. “I told him about you. I told him your
story. I told him about your crazy family and how we met. I told him about
how much I love you and how much you love animals.”
I melt against him. “You did?”
“Yeah, but before I tell you the rest, I want you to take a look around.
What would you envision if this was yours?”
I already know what I want. I’ve been dreaming of this house, of this
land, for so many years. I’ve worked countless hours to save for this place,
praying no one would snatch it before I got enough money together.
I point to where the old barn used to be. “Well, for starters, that is
where I will put the dog kennels. Over there is where I will eventually put
an emergency practice. I’m hoping eventually I can get a vet who is trained
in farm animals to work here. I’ll be keeping the work shed at the side of
the house. And over by that tree, I would have a swing.”
“What about the house?”
“It needs work, but I wouldn’t want to change much of it, but this is
pointless, Beau. He will never sell. He’s made it clear on multiple
occasions,” I explain softly. “And let’s not forget, you’ve bought us a
house, one close to here.”
He links his fingers through mine and pulls me towards the house, not
saying a word, just wearing that smirk I’m beginning to find infuriating.
 We walk up the steps to the front door, and he pushes it open like he
owns the place. I tug on his arm, stopping him before he gets us arrested.
Maybe. He is a police officer so he might get us out of it. “Beau, we
can’t just go inside.”
“I have the key,” he tells me, shocking me.
He pulls me into the foyer and immediately takes the first left, like he
knows exactly where he’s going.
I suck in a breath at the picnic blanket set up in the middle of the
empty room. A basket of food with a vase filled with red roses are in the
centre and scattered around them are lit lanterns like the ones outside.
The rest of the room is bare. There is no wallpaper, no light fixtures, or
even carpet. It’s the bare bones of the house, which is what made me fall in
love with it to begin with. I could imagine everything without having
someone’s furniture in front of me to distract me.
This place is more beautiful than I remembered.
“I don’t understand; what is this?” I ask, and as I turn, Beau kneels
down on one knee. My heart hammers in my chest, and my eyes well up
with tears. My voice cracks. “Beau.”
“Since the day I met you, you captivated me. I fell so hard, so quick, it
scared me. I was scared I was going to push you away by wanting it all.
And I want it all with you,” he tells me, taking my hand. I sniffle as he
continues. “When I told the owner how much I love you, how much you
have dreamt of this house, and the future you have envisioned here, he
asked me why we weren’t married. And the words ‘It’s too soon’ never
even crossed my mind. All I could think was: why aren’t we?
“I love you, Faith. I love you with everything that is me. And if you
say no today, I will ask you tomorrow. And I’ll ask you every day until you
say yes. I’ll ask you on the days you are mad at me, on the days you are
sad, and on the days you are happy. But I’m hoping today, you’ll say yes.
I’m hoping you’ll say yes because our love is like no other. I’m hoping
you’ll say yes, so I get to love you for the rest of my life. And I’m hoping
you’ll say yes because I don’t want to spend my life without you as mine in
every way possible.”
Beau slides his hand into his back pocket, pulling out a ring. “Will you,
Faith Carter, do me the honour of becoming my wife?”
I can’t breathe.
 I drop to my knees, collapsing into his arms as the world around us
stops.
I don’t even need to think of my answer. I already know it.
“Yes, Beau. Yes, I’ll marry you,” I choke out.
His lips press against my neck, peppering kisses until he reaches my
mouth. The kiss is hot, frenzied, and butterflies erupt in my stomach.
He pulls back, his eyes glazed over as he looks down, sliding the
diamond cut ring on my finger.
“It’s beautiful,” I gush.
“So are you,” he rasps, kissing me once more.
“Without breaking the moment,” I begin, still holding onto him. “What
does that have to do with the house?”
He grins. “Because he said even if we never got married, or even if we
didn’t have kids, someone who loved his woman as much as I love you,
should get to give her what she wants. He’s given it to us at a cheaper price.
He has no use for money with no more living family. But this… this is what
he wanted for the place.”
“No,” I murmur, completely stumped. His grin spreads into a smile.
“This is the house you bought?”
“Yes. And it’s too late to back out. All the checks and what-have-you
got finalised and completed today, so the estate agents called me this
morning to let me know we could come down this afternoon to sign the
deeds. It’s been killing me not being able to tell you this is the property. I
wanted it to be a surprise. You happy?”
I throw myself at him, as I try to keep it together. He drops back onto
the picnic blanket and the dogs go nuts, barking at us. Buster licks the side
of my face as I lift my head to look down at Beau. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby.”
“We’re getting married,” I declare, still shocked this is happening. I
never expected a thing.
“We’re getting married,” he agrees.
“And this is what you want?”
“I meant it when I said I want it all with you. This is just the beginning.
We have our whole lives ahead of us.”
“Beau,” I rasp. “I can’t believe you did all of this for me.”
“I’ll do anything for you, baby.”
“I love you so much,” I choke out, leaning down to kiss him.
 His hands grip my arse cheeks, grinding me down on his erection.
I have a fiancé.
My heart is bursting with joy.
Pulling back, Beau lifts a hand to cup my cheek. “There’s just one
favour I need.”
I smile so wide I feel like my face will crack. “Anything.”
“Can you tell your uncle Max after the wedding?”
Shit!
I have to tell my family.
“And your dad,” he continues.
I laugh at his dreaded expression. “They are going to be happy because
I’m happy. But I want to tell Lily first. Is that okay?”
“Anything you want,” he tells me.
“I love you,” I tell him, staring down at his handsome face.
“I love you too,” he declares, rolling until I’m beneath him, and
breathless.
I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. He came into my
life when my faith in humanity had dwindled. He gave me back that faith.
He gave me back the light I needed in a world full of darkness. He
protected me. Saved me. But he also made me laugh. Images of us watching
One Tree Hill flicker through my mind. Him tickling me on the sofa. Him
cooking me breakfast. Our first time together. Our first ‘I love you’.
It’s Beau.
It will always be Beau.
And I can’t wait for what else our future has in store for us.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This book is for my readers, for those who keep purchasing book after
book, and for those who love these characters as much as I do.
When I started Malik so many moons ago, I never expected this series
to become so big, or so long. However, bringing you a new book with
each character hasn’t been hard. They are so easy to write.
And I hope you love Lily’s novel as much as I do. Her novel was
always going to be a Christmas special. Always. Her love for the holiday is
just too special for it not to be. And I couldn’t picture a better way to get
what I wanted than with her pregnancy. Having the short stories—some of
which I wrote, years ago now—rewritten and put into this book, has
honestly been the best decision I made.
You asked, and I gave, and I hope those flashback scenes were
everything you hoped they would be.
This isn’t the end for Lily and Jaxon. They will still be in the Hayes
series, and the Next Generation novels.
What comes next? Who knows? I have so many works in progress that
I’m excited about. It’s going to be hard to choose. But please join my
readers group, Lisa’s Luscious Readers, for more updates on what’s next.
If you enjoyed Lily, please, please leave a review on the appropriate
platform. Reviews help authors, and I love hearing from you.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Thank you for letting me continue my dream.
And for those who need to hear this: Your happily ever after is coming.

I’d also like to give a massive shout out to those who have helped
make this book complete. Stephanie, for once again editing. I don’t know
what I’d do without you. To Michelle, for beta reading and letting me run
over things with her. And to Cassy Roop, for the amazing cover. And
finally, to those who gave me the inspiration to write this.
You people are amazing, and I couldn’t do this without any of you.

And last, and most importantly, I want to thank my amazing mum. No

matter what, she has made Christmas a special time and place for me and
my siblings. And now, as a mother myself, she gives that magic to my kids.
Without her, Christmas wouldn’t be the same.
I don’t think she’ll ever realise just how truly special she is. It’s not
about gifts, or even about the dinner she slaves away cooking all day. It’s
her. She has made room at the Christmas table so people aren’t alone on
Christmas Day. She’s made them feel welcome and a part of the family.
She brings the meaning to home. She brings the meaning to a family
Christmas.
Growing up, I saw her struggle, and fight through it. I’ve seen her sad
yet keep a smile on her face. I’ve seen her tears when she thinks no one is
looking. And I’ve seen her be there for everyone around her even when she
needed someone to be there for her.
She’s never made me feel anything but loved.
She’s my hero.
My biggest supporter.
And I’m proud to call her my mum.
I love you. Thank you for being you.