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Dangerous Lies Teenage Boys Believe

BJ FOSTER Sons ! " # $

On September 6, 1992, a moose hunter named Butch Killian came across an abandoned bus

in the middle of the Alaskan wild. Inside the bus, he found the unfortunate remains of

Christopher McCandless in a sleeping bag. He had starved to death. McCandless’ story was

chronicled in Jon Krakauer’s book Into the Wild and made even more famous by Sean Penn’s

2007 movie by the same title. McCandless romanticized living off the land in the Alaskan

frontier with limited resources. His death was the tragic result of being unprepared. Two

months before, he had killed a moose; however, he was unable to preserve the meat. He had

leaned on the expertise of hunters from South Dakota on preserving meat after a kill;

however, meat in South Dakota is preserved differently than in Alaska. In Alaska, meat must

be cut into thin strips while trying to preserve it in the Qeld. The information he based his life

on was wrong and it cost him.

Teenagers receive a lot of information to help guide their lives. Believing the wrong

information or lies has a signiQcant cost. We need to Qll them with the truth so they can make

choices that are life-giving. Here are dangerous lies teenage boys believe.

“My value is based on my achievements.”

They believe they are only as good as their last game, grade, compliment, and trophy. Those

that buy into this lie live with an anxiety every day. Fear of failure and aUrmation is the driving

force. When failure arrives, it deQnes them. They constantly compare themselves to others

and never feel good enough. The others all have the key to success that he does not have.

“Losing my virginity will make me a man.”

This is looked at as a rite of passage. When their peers begin to experience sex, they feel as

though they are left behind. It is as if their peers have become men and they are still a boy.

Sadly, for teenage boys, sex becomes viewed as a goal to be achieved like getting a driver

license or getting into college. The true design, context, and beauty of sex gets lost in a

manhood conquest. This lie leaves battered and bruised hearts in its wake.

Sadly, for teenage boys, sex becomes viewed as a goal to be

achieved like getting a driver license or getting into college.
CLICK TO TWEET

“I need to have it all together.”

They believe they should have all of the answers and not have any struggles. Be strong at all

times, conquer every challenge, and meet every requirement. When things get diUcult, man

up and take care of business. Anything less may deQne them as weak. This is an isolating

and stress-Qlled road that I’ve seen many teenage boys walk. They feel pressure from

teachers, coaches, and parents. What happens more often is they work harder at upholding

an image of strength and competency, rather than the actual thing. Maturity and growth end

up being stunted because they are projecting a face.

“The value of a man is in his net worth.”

Teenage boys don’t make a lot of money, but the teenage years are where this lie Qnds roots.

The people our culture deQnes as “successful” or “doing well” are always people that make a

lot of money. When they believe this lie, they will seek out vocations that earn a high wage,

rather than where their talents and passions lead. They potentially miss doing things that Qll

them with an enthusiasm which is truly rich. Another fallout is their attitude toward the poor

or even themselves when they earn a lower wage. Integrity gets thrown in the trash pretty

quickly when a boy believes his personal worth is found in the size of his bank account.

HUDDLE UP QUESTION

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “How do you tell whether or not something is true?”

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Shane Evenden
− ⚑
6 months ago

I have a 15yearold son that has been diagnosed with opposituonal defiance disorder. He has his issues and is going thru some tuff times growing up.
I am trying my best to be there for him but he wants to grow up on his terms. I recently found out that he met someone in an online gay chat forum.
he allowed someone to come to my home without me knowing and they engaged in sex i found out. I am traumatized and dont know what to do???
He told me he is bi sexual but how do i even know that he knows what he believes? Dont know what steps my wife and i should take? We are an
involved christian family that now is turned upside down???
△ ▽ Reply

Layla > Shane Evenden

− ⚑
6 months ago

He is not just your earthly son, he is your brother in Christ. Show him the scriptures on what God says about it. Many don't know exactly what the
Bible has to say. I think the most popular are in Leviticus, Romans, and 1 Corinthians, but there are more. Then pray the Holy Spirit would work in
him. Then love him. He's still your boy and God still loves him as much as His own Son! The enemy wants us to believe the lie that it's okay, but
the Bible is clear; it is detestable to God and those who practice it and do not repent will not inherit the Kingdom. You do have say so over who he
brings into your house though, no matter who or for what purpose.
△ ▽ Reply

Shane Evenden > Layla

− ⚑
6 months ago

Thank you Layla for your response. It means alot to know there are people who are out there if someone just needs and ear. I 100% agree with
praying for him without ceasing. I think ive given it to God and what will be will be. I still will try my vest to dirrct him in the right path but the rest
is up to him and God.
△ ▽ Reply

jamminjamy
− ⚑
a year ago

Thanks for the words of wisdom BJ!

△ ▽ Reply

BJ_Foster > jamminjamy

− ⚑
a year ago

Thanks Jamy! Hope you are well my friend.

△ ▽ Reply

Coach Andrew Tyler

− ⚑
a year ago

Thanks, good article

△ ▽ Reply

BJ_Foster > Coach Andrew Tyler

− ⚑
a year ago

Thanks Coach!
△ ▽ Reply

Jose Lydia Limardo

− ⚑
a year ago

Thank you for articulating what I have (inartfully) attmepted to explain to my kids as they go through this period. Our youngest is 7 and I will be sure to
refer to this to help drive a meaningful conversation. Great advice! Thanks again!
△ ▽ Reply

BJ_Foster > Jose Lydia Limardo

− ⚑
a year ago

Thanks Jose! Glad it helped. Prayed for you and your 7 year old this morning.
△ ▽ Reply

T. Ray Phillips
− ⚑
a year ago

great article to share with my son .. difficult to print however as I don't want to just send by email.. not sure what the settings are doing but every
variation cuts off some salient points... even when using the print icon on the app...
△ ▽ Reply

Kallin > T. Ray Phillips

− ⚑
a year ago

You should be able to highlight the text, then copy and paste in to another document that you can control the print properties in.
1△ ▽ Reply

BJ_Foster > T. Ray Phillips

− ⚑
a year ago

The printing issue has been resolved. Let me know if you have any more issues.
△ ▽ Reply

BJ_Foster > T. Ray Phillips

− ⚑
a year ago

Sorry sir. We will work to fix that problem. Glad you enjoyed the article!
△ ▽ Reply

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