VIRGINS

in
CRIME
by

DARE YEMI
VIRGINS IN CRIME
Copyright © 2020 OLUYEMI STEPHEN OLUWADAMILARE
Cover Design and Formatting:
Diwai GraFix — 08144023094 [WhatsApp]

All Rights Reserved:

No portion of this book maybe used in ANY FORM without
a written permission of the author.
 ABOUT THE BOOK
VIRGINS IN CRIME is a timely exposure, a beam
light that transmits life to the reality in the lives of many
people particularly— young adults. It aims to establish
that even in this hyper-sexualized world, purity is still
attainable and achievable with the help of God through
Christ Jesus. Virgins in Crime deeply reveals the
despicable acts that transpire in the dark alleys of the
heart of many youths who are staying true to their
virginity vows but still (secretly) indulge in sexual crimes.
It also provides very practical breakways.
Since this is not merely a physical struggle but a
spiritual battle, it is non-negotiable that your flesh will fail
but the essence of God will always remain valid. Some
powerful prayer points and declarations are included at
the end of the book to further help you.

NB:

• ALL Capitalisations in Scriptural References are mine. This is strictly for

emphasis sake and NOT for any form of alteration.

• ALL scriptures are taken from the The Amplified Bible Version except

otherwise indicated.
CO N T E N T S

Chapter ONE
VIRGINITY VS PURITY
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 11
Chapter TWO
INDECENCY
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 19
Chapter THREE
SEX-CHATTING
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 34
Chapter FOUR
EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 41
Chapter FIVE
ORAL SEX
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 56
Chapter SIX
MASTURBATION
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 61
Chapter SEVEN
PORNOGRAPHY
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 71
Chapter EIGHT
PURITY IS ACHIEVABLE
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 86
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
With a heart full of sincere praise. I accord every honor and glory

to God Almighty for the success of this book.

I want to say a big thank you to My parents, Pastor Samuel and

Abigail Oluyemi, my siblings and YPC Family.

Thanks for being a real support.

My sincere appreciation goes to Rev. Oluwafolakemi Borokini,

Founder, Vessels of Honor International. Thanks for all you do

Mummy. You are a mother.

I humbly honor Pst. ALAKA Olaniyi Isaac of Palatable Poison.

You're raising generations through nations Sir.

Thanks to Uncle Devon of Champions Tribe and the entire Tribe as

well. Oluwafunmilayo Ilori Victoria, widely known as Vicky Talks.

I call you VickyGlobal. You're a positive drive.

And YOU! Thanks for making the cycle complete.

I'm fulfilled, knowing that you would get really blessed reading

"Virgins In Crime".
 FOREWORD

Our generation is blessed to have such a great

wonderful general, a Sexual Purity Ambassador. According
to the scriptures, we are expected to flee youthful lusts
and abstain from every form of immoral acts.
In this book, Dare helps us understand what virginity
truely is, and the difference between virginity and purity—
how being 'virgins' doesn't doesn't mean you are 'pure'.
Steering clear of any form of sexual pleasure is what
Christ is expecting from us. Purity starts from the heart
and it consumes the whole of us if we are sincere with
God and ourselves.
It affects our mode of dressing. Someone who is
pure in heart would not want to dress nude, engage in
masturbation and any other sin that is against the body
and soul knowing fully well that God resides in the inside
of us.
We are God's temple remember!
Just know this: Purity is Attainable and Achievable.

— Pst. ALAKA Olaniyi Isaac

Convener, Palatable Poison
 DEDICATION

To

every young person

 PREFACE
Times have changed, we now have more voices,
outreaches, networks, platforms and foundations
amplifying the message of Virginity. Each campaigning
with the popular slogans such as:
#NoSUM — NoSexUntilMarriage; #ATM—Abstinence Till
Marriage; #VTM — Virginity Till Marriage; #ZipUp;
#CloseUp etc... and glory to God, many people, especially
young minds have been salvaged and have begun to lead
purposeful and godly lives.

BUT... there is a generation of youths who have

made up their minds to keep their virginity oaths until
they submit it as gifts on their honorable marriage bed
YET they desire to have a pastime to make up for their
"sacrifice". They seek alternatives, they bury themselves
in a host of unspeakable filthiness and dirty involvements
which is very contrary to the intent of God for them.

They want to eat their cakes and still have it at the

same time. This is not possible. You are either wise or
otherwise.
 This book aims to expose every young mind to the
needed understanding about purity and God's amazing
plans for us through a blameless singlehood and a fulfilled
marital life. It's all about connecting the dots and getting it
right, right now!
Blessed are your eyes and your mind as you read
this book — "Virgins in Crime".
 VIRGINITY VS PURITY

Let us define Virginity!

WHAT IS VIRGINITY?
First, you have to understand that the word SEX
does not merely mean physical intercourse by penetration!
SEX encompasses ALL sexual-related activities, thus,
EVERY sexual pleasure obtained outside marriage is sinful.
When it comes to attaining purity, it's crucial to
understand that it cannot be achieved by flesh. It is a
spiritual matter and not an issue that can be mildly
handled.
 The commonest definition of virginity is 'the state of
never having had 'sex'.
However, in the business of purity, total cleanliness
is the goal, as you are helped by God's Spirit to be
all-pleasing to Him as a sweet sacrifice. It's a journey that
cuts across all facets of your life. This includes how much
you are able to manage, guide and control your thoughts
and acts.
"Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from
impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a
man commits is one outside the body, but he who
commits sexual immorality sins against his own body".

1 Corinthians 6:18-19.

Matthew affirms Jesus' words in Matthew 5:28

"But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at a
woman with evil desire for her has already committed
adultery with her in his heart."
Considering the great risks around, to which young
people are exposed, it's an open secret that they are
fighting a course. A very big deal. A fierce battle. A battle
for the young.
 A life of purity is an alignment to follow the very way
that God has ordained from the beginning. This sort of
experience is a product of the twin factor — abstinence
and self-control and it is accompanied with the blessing of
a free conscience, dignity and honor to God. It allows you
to walk in all the beautiful plans that God has outlined for
your life.
Since you started out on the corridors of Earth, God
has called you to more than virginity. He calls you to a
place of purity and as you relate with people in your daily
living, from complimenting your friends to relating with
them and the manner in which you treat them. You must
place expensive priority on it as you examine your
intentions and motives.
Over the years, some strange evil fallacies have not
only being believed but also upheld. If an individual is void
of a proper understanding of these fallacies, they will only
keep wallowing in sin without the slightest feeling of guilt
nor remorse and they'll live in freedom with and in sin. I
will try to identify some:
1. Virginity is NOT Purity

Let me start by clarifying, just because you are a

virgin does not mean you are pure. Lack of clarification on
these two entities can make you feel safe and botherless
even while leading a life of sin although you're still
technically a virgin.

In our strivings for purity, virginity only comes in to

play a part in the whole process. Thinking that to wait for
sex is the definition of purity is a fallacy. You're shooting

yourself in the leg.

Purity is a beautiful design of God, but when you
reduce the whole essence of purity to the singular act of
abstaining from sex, it is not only invalid but also
dangerous. God desires that you be wholly clean.

Ephesians 5:4
"Let there be no filthiness..."
Purity does not border on what you do only but what
you do not do as well. Not just your actions but also your
inactions too, what you wear, and what you think about.
Virginity Says: Don't break the hymen.
Purity Says: NO! Abstain from immorality.

Virginity Says: I won't have sex.

Purity Says: NO! Kissing is unacceptable.

Virginity Says: I won't see nudes.

Purity Says: Don't even think about it.

Virginity Says: I won't allow you to touch my body.

Purity Says: NO! You cannot even see it.

Virginity Says: Just foreplay, No Sex.

Purity Says: NO! You cannot fondle any part of me.

Virginity says: Show me your manhood over the video call.

Purity says: NO! My body is God's Holy Temple.

Purity is many miles beyond the question of whether

you have had sex before or not. God is as interested in
your heart as He is to your body. As soon as you
understand this, the journey becomes easier.
 Purity is what you engage in once the door of your
room gets bolted from inside.
Purity is what you do when the light goes off to
make you alone in your room all by yourself. Purity is
what is contained in those files and folders on your mobile
gadgets secured with passwords and safe vaults which
only you can access. Purity is concerned with those web
sites and hideous pages you visit in incognito tabs that
leaves no traces or browsing history. Once you're done,
they are cleared never to be seen by no mortal— yet
clearly visible to the eternal God of all flesh.
Those things you can still do when you have no
single eye watching or a teeming crowd of people around
you. That one thing you're not ashamed to brag about,
what you can do even a million eyes is watching— that is
purity. Yes that is Purity.

2. Marriage Does NOT End Purity

Every believer, whether single OR married are called

into a life of purity. Yes, you read that right, subscription
to purity pack does not expire on your wedding night.
 As a matter of fact, marriage is the bedrock of purity.
The very singly designed institution for man.

See what this scripture says:

Hebrews 13:4
"Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy,
precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things.
And thus let THE MARRIAGE BED be undefiled (kept
undishonored); for God will judge and punish the
unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous".

Read that scripture twice. It talks about the

"marriage bed", not the "Virginity nor Singlehood Bed" this
time. This is a doubtless expression of the necessity of
purity for couples. It continues...
"...God shall punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual
vices]...." NOT only 'adultery now' but 'the unchaste, all
guilty of Sexual Vices'.

This further exposes the implication of defining

Purity as a matter of merely closing the laps. Many young
couples stop their purity pursuit one they tie the knot.
Why should the Marriage bed be kept Pure?
Since a couple is married already, why any need for
purity?
Now! Champion, it is of utmost importance that you
note that this part of Hebrews 13:4, "MARRIAGE BED" —
where many cheated wives refer to as "Matrimonial Bed"
— isn't merely warning against the sin of adultery. It's
amplifying the necessity of maintaining and sustaining the
life of purity they have both upheld from their singlehood.
How? By always staying faithful to themselves, totally
surrendering and bonding in an utmost sense of mutual
intimacy as well as utterly shunning all forms of selfish
means of deriving sexual pleasure without their partners
[Masturbation, Pornography, Emotional Attachment and
other related sins].

Principally, the "pure bed" signifies two pure people

in a pure marital affair. As you already know that sex is a
beautiful designed package— an architectural gift of God
to man in marriage. It's like a product that comes with a
manual.
 Everytime you use a gadget outside proper manual
instructions of the maker, your're heading for some
explosion. Everything in your relationship should
pronounce God and Godliness. It's in this that your purity
life is eetablished. As you continually see it this way, you
won't suspend your purital living after walking down the
aisle because Christ, the essence of Purity is ever present
in your marital union.

1 John 3:3
And everyone who has this hope [resting] on Him
cleanses (purifies) himself just as He is pure (chaste,
undefiled, guiltless).

All sorts of negative consequences are introduced

when sex happens outside of the context of marriage:
sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, unwanted pregnancy,
emotional damage, guilt, and the list goes on. As a means
of escape and a tool for replacement for actual sex — by
penetration.
They have accepted that yet don't want sex but they
seek alternatives...they are unwilling to hold on. Let's
consider some of these sexual-related crimes.
 INDECENT DRESSING

"How should I dress?"

This question has been over asked by many young

people who intend to walk according to God's will. There
is more to how you dress than the fashion or style after
which you're patterned and God's words are very clear
about indecent clothing, even though some scriptural
instructions are founded on principles.

I do not believe the primary aim of rape is indecency.

As a matter of fact, I don't believe there's any occasion,
excuse for rape or any circumstance to provide a
justification for forcefully having a carnal knowledge of
someone whether male or female. The abuse, insult, theft,
trauma and emotional depression that the dastard act of
rape imflicts on its victims.

No excuse is ever good enough...NOT EVEN INDECENCY!

Purity begins in the heart and the physical should be

a projection, an overflow of this godliness.
Yet, virgins and singles as well as married person's must
not replace decency with the delusion that God looks at
the heart only. God looks at the heart... doubtlessly but
He neither disregard the body either.

Psalm 100 :
"Know (perceive, recognize, and understand with
approval) that the Lord is God! It is He Who has made us,
not we ourselves [and we are His]! We are His people and
the sheep of His pasture."

The worldly setting has an entirely different standard

of decency, but many young Christians, instead of
steering clear of worldliness, will daringly try to get as
close as possible to looking like people in the world. When

you begin to look at the fashion of the world to dictate

your manners, you're moving out of God's plans.

To think that religions asides Christianity boldly

frown at indecent dressings, you can see there is so much
decay in a lot of so-called christians. As a believer, you do
not see buildings as structures as the church but your
body— God's Temple, where God Almighty lives.

Recall the wedding of the England Prince and the

remarkably incredible comportment displayed by the
"music stars who go naked on a normal day". If worldly
people can still have some measure of decency, why not
the children of God?

Why then do we have these rot among our youths?

Why then do we have this craze in our churches?

The confidence with which indecency is condoned in

our churches is despicable and if you as a Christian do not
look different in these wise, then you're for the world.
Young People ask...

Should a Christian woman wear shorts, mini-skirts,

low-cut blouses, tight skirts, or tight pants?

...and Men?

Do they need to be concerned about decency? Can

they go about with bare chests?

As a male reading this, if you'd be honest, you don't

think it affects you much. Right? I got you.

Well, you may not be wrong to think as such since

that's what seems to be prevalent. But I mustn't fail to tell
you that there is a need to establish the fact that God
does not have a dual rating to differently measure
decency for men and women.
However, matters of dressings points more to
females more because of their many peculiarities.
 It's needless for me to tell you how long and loose
your blouse and skirt should be or how tight or baggy
your shirts and trousers should be. This is a function of
your understanding of God's love and desire for you. He
commands all to wisdom in knowing and doing (wearing)
the right things.

Let's see some expositions about what God's words

says about nakedness.

A. Shamefulness

This pronounces God's interest concerning proper

dressing. Almost throughout the Bible, "nakedness" is
used to talk about emptiness, helplessness, contempt and
shameful punishment.

Nahum 3:5
"Behold, I am against you, says the Lord of hosts, and I
will lift up your skirts over your face, and I will let the
nations look on your nakedness [O Nineveh] and the
kingdoms on your shame."
 The only time 'nakedness is regarded in a beautiful
light is in respect to the private openness between a
legally married man and woman —husband and wife.
Thus, signifying mutual trust, confidence and ownership.

Genesis 2:25.

On the other hand, recall when Adam and Eve hid

themselves because....

"...they were naked" as a result of their sins.

The Lord made "long coats" for them:

Genesis 3:21
"For Adam also and for his wife the Lord God made long
coats (tunics) of skins and clothed them."

This can also mean man is stripped of 'honor' and

'security' when he allows sin in his tent... Until God helps
him.
 B. Semi-Nudity

Sometimes, semi-nudity is more provocative than

total nudity. Dresses that fail to cover you properly are out
for only one target:

"Mini-clothes are symbolic of those girls who want to

seduce a man..." - Mary Quant,London fashion designer
and inventor of the miniskirt.

Mary Quant, also in an exclusive interview:

When asked:
When are (miniskirts, mini-gowns, etc.) all leading?

Mary Quant replied with a single word: "Sex."

It is shameful to expose or draw attention to our

body especially our private parts. Steer clear from dresses
that make any part of your body exposed; show contours
of your body, your shape and display your curves. If it
doesn't cover you properly; it's wrong. Guys must also flee
from tight trousers that shamefully reveal the shape of
their manly muscled spikes.

See 1 Corinthians 12:23

"And those [parts] of the body which we consider rather
ignoble are [the very parts] which we invest with
additional honor, and our unseemly parts and those
unsuitable for exposure are treated with seemliness
(modesty and decorum)."

C. Fleshly Lusts

Provoking lust is clearly condemned in the scriptures.

Your mode of dressing can incite fleshly lusts in others.
This is an error in your purity pursuit.

While lust is not excusable on the man's part, if the

woman by her action or dressing has encouraged it, she
shares in the guilt! God's instructions also reproofs a
woman from looking at a man to lust after him as much as
it does a man.
Matthew 5:28
"But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at a
woman with evil desire for her has already committed
adultery with her in his heart."

Here, we must not fail to realize that there is a twin

responsibility:

a. The Man —
Guard his mind and eyes from impurity.

b. The Woman —
Help to forestall any chance for the lustful looks.

Let me also point out that there are some clothes

that COVER PROPERLY but are yet, highly seductive.
If your clothings are body-hugging or 'skin-tight' to show
your shape in detail, to cause discomfort and confusion, it
is outrightly indecent.
D. Decency works Purity

When the purity life of Christian cuts across

dressing, it's beyond the mere exposure of the body.
There is a principle and standard that God has install for
you to model after. He is interested in you and how all
you do bring honor and glory to His name.

1 Timothy 2:9, 10
"In like manner, that women adorn themselves
in modest apparel, with shamefastness and sobriety; not
with braided hair, and gold or pearls or costly raiment; but
(which becometh women professing godliness) through
good works."

From this scripture, you see that the basic essence

of clothings are not to bring the attention of people to you
but to ultimately glorify God in you.

So many people derive pleasure in getting noticed.

In a bid to achieve this, they decide to be excessive,
maybe just a bit but they end up dressing indecently.
 The same applies to the male youths as well. Some
male youths also aim to impress their female counterparts
and probably get to woo anyone that likes them.

Your appearance and actions should carry dignity

and self-worth laced with God's righteousness. You need
not flirt to find a good partner. Stop attempting to impress
the opposite sex and focus on God to help you at all times.

WHY BE ON GUARD?
God can see the inside of your heart. He sees how
you're caught up in your own lusts and how that lust
conceives sin in you and also affects others. You can
cause others to stumble by the way you dress and God
won't fail to hold you accountable. Outward sins are just
as bad as inward sins.

Heb 4:13
"No creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked
and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give
account”.
 So when a person wears clothes and their
nakedness is not properly covered, the person is not only
doing wrong but also working against God’s original
purpose; it is very sinful and debasing.

In Romans 12:1, the scriptures further enjoins us to

"...present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and
acceptable to God."

By implication, God is more delighted in the manner

in which you honor him with your body as well your heart
than who or what you claim to be. How you present your
body is more important to God than the sacrifice you
present. He won't accept anything less.

The deception of the devil is to lure many women

and even men to hell through worldly dressings—
particularly young people. It's not about how much you're

burning for God in zealous prayer and mission works.

 Now, this does not translate to dressing out of
fashion as to be weird or strange. Personally, I'm not a
fan of boredom. Wear something attractive (at least as
modestly as possible). You don't go around wearing
over-sized trousers or covering up yourself in multiple
wears like brown onions to 'look holy'. Take care of
yourself and look good. Be attractive for God. Yes! You
can be saintly presentable yet wth some sauce. Cause

people to envy salvation life through your dressing.

Overall, your clothings should be suitable for the

situation— Identify the appropriate farm clothes to work
on the garden, and nice outfits for formal and informal
outings, proper swimsuits for the pool or beach. As a
christian woman, you don't need a bikini to swim. There is
always a befitting clothing.

Regardless of the circumstance, time, place or

century you ever lived, what incites lust will always incite
lust. God's Standards never change. Dresses that expose
the body shouldn't be found on you. NO!.
NO! Not you,
God's chosen. God's masterpiece.
NO! Not you! God's battle axe, God's own weapon of WAR!

1 Corinthians 6:18
"Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very
sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom
you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your
own".

Recall that Rom. 12:1 says this too... You are not your
own!
You are meant to be a reference point for excellence
and purity to witnesses around you. Becoming the living
Scripture, fulfilling the dictates of the Lord Jesus Christ.
You become a representation of the Bible pages those
who never read them.

In prayer, consider whether your adornment in any

circumstance reflects your confession of godliness and
purity as expressed in God Himself — Hebrews 5:14.
 SEX-CHATTING

Sexting is a fussion of two words:

'Sex' and 'Text'. Simply put, it is Sex in Text'. It can

be defined as the act of sending sexy messages, sexually
explicit and obscene images—nudes (including videos) to
another person. It may be via mobile phone messaging or
social media chatting platforms.

It seems to be fun and exciting as a means of flirting.

Well, that's how poisons taste.
 The Bible extensively exalts sexual pleasure within
the confines of marriage. See Proverbs 5:18. But...
It maintains a clear stand on whstsoever sexual conduct
between unmarried persons.

DE-MYSTIFYING SEXTING

1. It's as Sinful as Physical Sex

Some people think sexting is harmless because it
isn't an actual physical sex. After all, there are only words
and some pictures involved. It’s not as if people are
actually committing adultery or fornication, right?

Now, it is very pertinent that it comes with the

pleasures of sexual arousals and fantasy experiences.
Matthew 5:28 says, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a
woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her
in his heart.”

This portion also applies to how women look at men,

and JESUS CLEARLY EQUATES LUST WITH ADULTERY

HERE.
Lust works the works of IMMORALITY.
Galatians 5:19 – 21 “The acts of the flesh are obvious:
sexual immorality, impurity and the likes. I warn you, as I
did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the
kingdom of God.”

2. It is not a Safer Sex.

They consider it safe because it doesn't involve the
risk of pregnancy, STDs e.t.c. but you have to understand
that the aim is not to get pregnant or contract some
infections —the aim is to PLEASE GOD though our bodies.

“Deaden . . . your body members that are upon the earth

as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite,
hurtful desire, and covetousness.” — Colossians 3:5.

3. Sexting is Self-Made Pornography

On a broader sense, it can be regarded as a form of
pornography. Sexting involves a self-manuacture and self
dissemination of PORNOGRAPHY.

This is what some experts have called Mental Adultery.

 It is necessary to understand that lust is an act of
the mind. From this scripture, we see that adultery can
take place regardless of whether physical bodies or just
words or pictures are involved.
As regards lust, your heart is the point of attention
to God. It doesn't matter to God whether it is physical sex
or sexting between people who are not married to each
other—it all falls in the border of sexual immoralities.

Colossians 3:5
"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual
immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and
covetousness, which is idolatry."
The dirty act of sexting provides a death-hole to
feed on all of these sexually immoral acts which you as
God's Beloved, are supposed to flee far from (1
Corinthians 6:18)—not toward.

Galatians 5:18-19 "But if you are guided (led) by the

[Holy] Spirit, you are not subject to the Law. Now the
doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious): they
are immorality, impurity, indecency..."
Ephesians 5:3, 4 —
“Let fornication and uncleanness of every sort or
greediness not even be mentioned among you, . . .
neither shameful conduct nor foolish talking nor obscene
jesting.”.

These above outlined biblical references do not only

issue stern warnings against “fornication” (sexual
relations outside of marriage) but also against such things
as “uncleanness” which stands as a broad term that refers
to every form of moral and sexual impurity and “sexual
appetite” — bizzarre and ungodly romantic passions that
will culminate in dishonoring God).

2 Timothy 2:1 —
“Do your utmost to present yourself approved to God, a
workman with nothing to be ashamed of.”
PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES OF SEXTING

1. Once you send a photo via cell phone, you no

longer own it, nor can you control how it might be
used—or how it will affect your reputation. It's been
electronically stored for retrieval by any Tom and Jack.

2. Sexting can also have a very negative impact

on your social and emotional living. You may get
harrassed, humiliated and bullied both online and
physically.

3. Sexting can expose you to sextortion. This

happens when someone (maybe your crime partner or a
third-party) threatens to leak nude images and other video
contents of you unless you give into their demands which
may involve physical sex gratifications or incessant
monetary ransoms.

On social media, we see, read and watch victims tell their

distasteful tales— EVERYDAY! Champion, why subject
yourself to such needless disdain and shameful contempt.
 Nude photos have been mass-forwarded by the
recipients to entertain their friends. Jilted boyfriends have
distributed nude photos as a way to get revenge.

Think about these...

Do I care about my self-worth?
Why should I betray the trust of parents and loved ones
have in me?
What happens to my reputation?

Finally, how does God feel when I debase myself below

His beautiful purpose?

2 Timothy 2:22 —
“Flee from the desires incidental to youth.”

Psalm 119:37 —
“Make my eyes pass on from seeing what is worthless.”

Ephesians 5:4 — "Let there be no filthiness (obscenity,

indecency) nor foolish and sinful (silly and corrupt) talk,
nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting or becoming; but
instead voice your thankfulness [to God]."
 EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT

One of the common but unpronounced problems

with a lot of singles is the nature of relationships they are
caught up in. The anxiety, the feeling of voidness and the
fear of loneliness that lingers in them for long and makes
them vulnerable.

Based on a recent personal study among a group of

youths, it was gathered that circa 77% prefer the opposite
sex as their Besties — (best friends) on basis of Maturity,
Sincerity, Loyalty, Exposure, Trust and other related
factors.
 Often times, as a young person, you may happen to
be more familiar with or attracted to the opposite sex. You
tend to feel more relaxed and find confidence in them.
However, enthusiastic and obsessive feelings can lead to
disturbing behavior in your everyday life.

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT?

For the nature of this book, let me define
attachment simply as a "strong emotional bond".

Emotional attachment can mean many things,

ranging from emotional affection to physical affixation.
As humans, we get attached to objects such as clothes,
personal materials like clothes, money, books, even cars
or houses and ultimately people. e.t.c.

Excessively, sometimes your emotional attachment

can be an addiction to someone— The opposite sex.

It is very pertinent to know that extra care is needed

when you're relating with people. Especially the opposite
sex whom you're close to.
 They can be some beautiful lady or charming guy in
your class, your teammate: they can even be your mentee
or your mentor, your boss, colleagues or church members.

You just seem to be inseparable from them. You just

always want to cling to the like some magnet because you
find it interesting and more adventurous.

You may not be having any form of sexual relations

with the person but it's a form of an unhealthy addiction.

You already know that you cannot end up with that

person in terms of romantic relationship for you to get
owing to obvious physical reasons but you still feel
“hooked”. Funnily, you might also be well aware that that
it's impossible for you both to be together, knowing the
person isn't God's right design for you in terms of marital
matters. Yet, you cannot get the person “out” of your
mind.

Since they are not yours and CANNOT be yours, so

why preoccupy your mind with them?
 This happens because you both have certain
dealings that have brought you together. Even you may
not be able to explain how and when you became that
close.
A call to sexual purity is a call to free living. In purity
you love people as they are, for who they are and not for
the 'lustfull' version of them you see in your mind. Pure
love is a reflection of purity since this is what God
personifies and your life should be nothing short of a
perfect semblance of His.

You need to stop seeing every guy or girl around

you as a marriage material. Focus on the friendship, you
don't have to incite romantic fantasies on men or ladies
you meet. See and regard them as what and who they are
and love them for it.
Why flirt with her when you have no intention of
asking her out or ending up in marital union with him?
Why not simply enjoy their company on a platonic
relationship without you hunting for compliments? The
times of singlehood is a time of peril. A time of perilous
perils.
 It also happens with Spiritual Daddies, getting so
attached to their spiritual daughters in the name of
mentoring. Such daddies, though as shepherds may
eventually end up eating their daughters like wolves.

Look, as Apostle Arome Osayi says:

"If Jesus has NOT helped you. Please stay in 'SABO'....."

and don't attempt to cross over to Brazil. There is a time
and moment for every stage of your life. Stay in the
grooming room till you are ripe for manifestation. Eccl. 8

It's not a crime to mentor yourself and leave them until

you're fit to be a mentor.

Why smell what you won't eat? This only leads to

pains, regrets and prolonged depression. Whenever you
see her picture (s) you suddenly become hard and start
bulging. You get wet and a part of you moves whenever
you hear his name mentioned or see any of his belongings
around you even as ridiculous as his book, umbrella or
any material that belongs to him.
 Meanwhile, he is not your partner. In this sort of
situation, it is regarded that you 'dating' yourself
meanwhile the person in question does not even feel the
same as you are. This is nothing but self inflicted torment.

Stop passing time with people's emotions. Just as

you cannot sexually relate with the wrong person and
expect to go scot-free, your peace and mind is tampered
with once you are attached to someone who isn't yours.
Your mind cannot be stable when you long after what you
know that you cannot have.

I'll highlight some of the common behaviors and

patterns that prove that you may be developing a red-sign
attachment.

1. You feel that you cannot live without them

Once the person goes out of sight. You begin to

nurture a deathful scare.
If you feel a never-ending spiral of negative thoughts and
emotions (including suicidal thoughts) at the idea of being
without such individual you have an faulty emotional
attachment.

2. If your feelings depend on their presence and attention

You enjoy spending time with them, and you feel
heaven on earth when they’re around....but always lack
energy and do not feel good or worth anything once they
go out of sight.

3. You get obsessed over their every single move

Another sign is that you always obsessively want to
know their location and current online status. What are
they doing? Who are they walking with? What girl or boy
is getting close to them? Especially, now that technology
has improved well in the place of social media. It is very
easy to "monitor" or "stalk" them. Since it's pretty easier
now, you persistently "monitor" their activities on their
social media handles through status updates, posts, and
whether they’re online or not. You feel bad when they
appear offline and you keep waiting, staying all up till they
come online.
 Even, this irrational distrust isn't only burdensome,
it's also really strange because you are not even in any
relationship with them (at least not a romantic one). Yet,
you begin to get jealous to the extent of visibly showing it
in very trivial matters. You just don't want to see anyone
else around them.

4. You breed selfish feelings & thoughts

You often (maybe silently) make assertions such as:
“They wouldn’t be where they are today if it weren’t for
me.”

“They’re only like this because of me.”

“If I can't have them, nobody can.”

If you experience these flashing thoughts when you
see the person out conversing with friends or family
— without you — is a red flag that you’re unhealthily
attached to them.
 If you are having these scary, unfair thoughts
anytime you see the person outside around other people,
especially when you're not with them — This is Emotional
Attachment and one with a red alert at that. It's getting
out of hand already. It's high time you called a stop to
that — at once! Because at this point, you allow the
temptation of thinking that their lives should revolve
around you alone. Even couples do not do that.

NOTE: These signs mentioned above may not apply

wholly to you at once. But, if you have honestly tested
positive for any of these 4 signs. You need to have serious
rethink and effect timely changes.

EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT IS A TIME WASTER!

If you continue to hold on to attachments in any
relationship that you know cannot work, you are only,
personally setting yourself up for intentional heart attacks.

For Singles, your eyes of vision gets blurry. You're

beclouded by these mundane, vain feelings. This is NOT
love.
You get carried away by these hypnosis and illusive
thoughts.

It shields you from seeing what God wants for you

since you have put your feelings first.

The time you should be investing in your pursuing

purpose and getting it right is expended:

"long-staring at and admiring pictures"

"lewdly thinking about someone else's property"

"lusting after what you know you cannot have"

Now, pay attention....

Anything that anything that robs you of your time is a
dangerous thing. In fact it is able to affect you drastically
in life.
 •••
For the married, it happens when you have an Ex. It's
difficult to shut out their memories. Especially if you have
shared sexual bonds. A part of them will remain with you
for a long time as long as you intend keeping it. Yes, as
long as you INTEND keeping it.

If you're still attached to your one time lover. You are

inviting a collapse into your home. Definitely, your partner
won't delight in you having an outbound feeling for
another person. In such relationships, you will find it
difficult to get satisfied with whatever your marriage
partner. You tend to find fault with them. It affects you
emotionally and may even cause you health issues.
Some people go as far as chasing old shadows. They still
go back to rekindle dead fires of old relationships. You
may be playing with fire because sins lurks around the
corner.

See, you have to understand that people make mistakes.

Learn to forgive yourself. Have you wondered why even
sometimes, after God has forgiven you you still feel guilty?
 It's because you haven't accepted his forgiveness (even
though you're a Christian). Learn to forgive yourself.
Let go of the past and stop comparing your new found
Joy, Love, gift and God's blessed darling of a partner with
an old lover.

God knows best for your life.

•••

OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT

Ordinarily, getting endeared to something or

someone is not wrong. Albeit, there is a thick border
between a healthy attachment, and an unhealthy one.

If you know you seem to be developing some

unhealthy attachment to someone just like I've explained
earlier, you can both curtail and contain it by working in
the following:
1. Set up your boundaries:

When he starts to say:

"Can you drop the Sir, just call me Mike"

Or she begins to say:

"I'd prefer you call me Coco instead of Comfort"

You need no imported soothsayer to call you to check at

once (prolly a mild check though, some might be rarely
harmless). Define every relationship and bonding you're
making.
You can nip this in the bud by occasionally asking them:

"Who am I to you?"
"What's the purpose or nature of our relationship?"

Particularly, when you're getting closer depending

on the setting you find yourself. Maybe workmates,
class/coursemates, flatmates, online space, fellowship or
even the church setting.
 On another hand, some people go as far as
"assuming" that someone is romantically interested in
them. Avoid the use of endearing terms for them such as:
Darling, Baby, Sugar, Dear, Babe, Pie or personal
nicknames or calls them by their other names not known
to many. For instance, a girl is publicly known as Shade,
her other name is Abigael — if you're the only one who
calls her "Abby" her pet name — somehow, she is likely
to get attached to you the more.

Look, what you won't eat, don't try smelling it.

As harmless and almost insignificant as these may seem.
These things matter!

To avoid stories that touch, don't assume someone

is in love with you. Ask questions. Know what they want in
the relationship and be clear and cleared.

You end up hurting people or at least yourself.

You may end up becoming bland and uninterested in love
or relationships. I call this 'self-imposed heartbreaks'.
2. Focus on Healthy Attachments:
Think about and write out the reasons why you feel
this way — do you feel “incomplete” without them? Do
you feel afraid of losing your self-esteem or stability if you
ever lose that attachment? It may be helpful to discuss
these questions with a reliable level-headed coach.

3. Personal Satisfaction:
Since it's sometimes borne out of a feeling of low
self esteem, you are looking up to another person to make
you complete on certain bases. This way, you are
trampling on your own creative power, your abundant
richness and great feeling of freedon. This is why it
feels so difficult for you to let go.
Find ways to satisfy your needs productively. It is
hard to do but it is highly needed for you to avoid falling
into a chasm of pain and emptiness.

Prov 4:23 (CWR)

Above everything else, guard the affections of your heart;
the emotional attachments you make determine the
course of your life.
 ORAL SEX

What is ORAL SEX?

Oral sex is a act of stimulating a person's sexual
organs with the mouth. It involves the touching or licking
of a person's genitals with the mouth, lips or tongue.

This may also involve the physical act of sucking or

licking their penis (fellatio/blow job), vagina (cunnilingus),
or anus (anilingus).

Alongside oral sex, I like to classify the following

forms of sex as totally wrong and unacceptable—
fingering, handjobs, e.t.c.
Note:
For the nature of this book, I won't dwell much on this
Chapter because of verbal modesty and avoidance of
crude words. Also, the question of whether Oral Sex is
right for married people will not be answered in this book.

But for virgins / singles, Oral Sex is deathly

forbidden. So, still bordering on the aftermath of defining
purity as "virginity", a lot of youths think as long as their
hymens are intact, they are still okay. You're not okay, In
fact you're not fine at all.

These are stinking acts of sexual sins that the devil

has roped many into. There is no stance that justifies you
to get naked with someone who is not your marriage
partner?
Not to talk of even giving them oral sex????

If you are not in this shoe, DON'T DARE TO WEAR IT.

BUT

If you have been caught in already, the expositions in this

chapter can help you.
LIES ABOUT ORAL SEX

1. They say "Oral sex is not really sex"

Many people have oral sex instead of sexual
intercourse. They see it as an alternative to intercourse
since no 'penetration' is involved. This is an fatal lie as we
have understood from Chapter 1.

2. They say "Oral Sex is Safer"

Because there is no risk of getting pregnant through
oral sex... many 'oralists' term it as safer. However, you
can catch or pass on some sexually transmitted infections
(STIs) by having oral sex — both parties.

THE TRUTH
Than regular intercourse, oral sex is even deeper
and intense. Yes, as even married couples are not clear if
they should do it or not.
It is a stage of intimacy that may not even be proper
for married people. And so to think it can be an innocent

substitute for copulation so people can obey the letter of

the law outside marriage is an error.
 Like I already mentioned earlier, the question of
whether it is right or wrong for married people will not be
addressed in this book BUT for unmarried persons reading,
the following are reasons why you are on a lone journey
of death if you're trapped in the act of oral sex.

1. IT NEGATES GOD'S PLAN FOR SEXUAL UNION

Genesis 2:24
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother
and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they
shall become one flesh."
Every sexual relationship should seep from the
original desire of God in marriage.

2. IT IS STILL SEX
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
For this is the will of God, that you should be consecrated
(separated and set apart for pure and holy living): that
you should abstain and shrink from all sexual vice,
That each one of you should know how to possess
(control, manage) his own body in consecration (purity,
separated from things profane) and honor.
1 Corinthians 6:15,18-20
Do you not see and know that your bodies are members
of Christ? Am I therefore to take the parts of Christ and
make [them] parts of a prostitute? Never! Never!
Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from
impurity in thought, word, or deed]....he who commits
sexual immorality sins against his own body.

...that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the

Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received
[as a Gift] from God? You are not your own.

....You were bought with a price [purchased with a

preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor
God and bring glory to Him in your body.
Asides the undeniable and debateless simple truths
about oral sex that have been mentioned above, let me
highlight some of the medical complications involved.

Health Risks of Oral Sex

The most common STIs that can be passed on
through oral sex include: syphilis, herpes, gonorrhea e.t.c.
 MASTURBATION

What Is Masturbation?
Masturbation is the act of touching and rubbing your
sensitive body parts for sexual pleasure — body parts
such as the penis, clitoris, vulva and breasts.

Masturbation is the pleasure of sexual orgasm

produced by self-stimulation for arousal and excitement..

It should be noted that masturbation often starts as

self-aid act. Many youths consider it a way of meeting
their basic need for freedom and comfort.
 Understand that masturbation is not God’s ideal plan
for you. God having created you with sexual desires also
created them to be mutual and scriptures strongly
maintains sexual relations would be within marital union
ONLY to demonstrate that your sexuality is meant to be a
way to share the most intimate part of yourself with your
(future) partner.
With your eternal marital partner, you are allowed to
share your body in shameless intimacy. In this situation,
you experience peace, and find fulfilment.

1 Corinthians 7:4 — "For the wife does not have

[exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but
the husband;...likewise also the husband does not have
[exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the
wife". In that context, Paul was urging Christians to give
themselves sexually to their spouse, because they are in
essence, one flesh.
The scriptures constantly reminds us of the need for
self-control. Self-control is an act of obedience to our Holy
God and a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) an act
that requires restraint, thought, intentionality.
See also,
Proverbs 25:28 — “A person without self-control is like a
city with broken-down walls.

Lust is a sin.
One common cause of masturbation is lust and lust
happens to be intertwined with masturbation.

Jesus talks of lust Matthew 5:27-30 and lust has

been defined as a strong desire or craving, whether it be
good or bad. Lust is a desire without restraint and
essentially that is what is happening to masturbators.
masturbation.

Masturbation also involves:

• Lewd Thoughts
Masturbation mostly occurs when a person is
thinking sexual thoughts about someone who is not
his/her spouse. The "lust of the flesh" 1 John 2:16 is the
sin. Masturbation is simply the result of the sin.
• Sexual Fantasies
This happens by projecting exciting and sensual and
sexual fantasising scenes to play their way into your mind.
This may happen by imagination, by pictures, movies,
stories, or porno— these are taboos on your mental and
spiritual purity (Matthew 5:28).

1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 says, “It is God’s will that you

should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual
immorality; that each of you should learn to control your
own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in
passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”

If you struggle with masturbation, it is a proof that

you desperately need to call on God — You need to call
on God. You need Him. Whether you agree to it or not,
you need God! Call Him! You need him!

There is a vacuum in every human that NOTHING else

can fill except God. Not money, friends, NOTHING but
God.
That vacuum is at the center of every human heart. the
only thing that can help you get filled with satisfaction is a
beautiful relationship with God through Lord Jesus.

You need to consider masturbation the same as

viewing porn or dwelling on sexual fantasies.

Masturbation is often more about feeding on on

sexual things and promoting lustful thinking. Bible is
CLEAR that this is not God’s will for you.
Jesus calls this, "adultery of the heart."

Matthew 5:28 — "But I say, anyone who even looks at a

woman [or man] with lust has already committed adultery
with her in his heart".

Any time you are viewing, reading or thinking about

something sexual for the purpose of arousal (apart from a
married couple thinking sexually about one another), you
are promoting lustful thoughts. For many women, this is a
constant temptation. It’s difficult to get sexual thoughts
and images out of your mind.
 GOD'S PLAN
It is more effective to address masturbation as an
issue of spiritual maturity than an issue of whether right
and wrong. As you grow in your walk with God and as you
develop a fuller understanding of His design for sexuality,
masturbation will likely become less of an issue. God will
give you wisdom that goes beyond the means of
suppressing sexual desire. However, when all of your
focus is on controlling your sexual longings and feeling
shame because of the struggle, you may find yourself
stuck in a self-destructive pattern. More important than
the question, “Are you masturbating?,” I would want to
ask, “Are you moving towards God’s design for your
sexuality?”.

Masturbation woefully falls short of God’s ideal will

for you. It is a "Solo Sex" which is focuses on your needs,
yor gratification, and your pleasure, your feelings
forgetting what plans God holds for your in future...and
for married persons, an act of insincerity and
unfaithfulness to the detriment of your better half.
 Your sexuality was created to draw you into a deep
union. Without sexual relations, only few people would
ever go through the sacrifice required to commit their
lives to another person.

You have a sexual drive, hot sexual urges, rush,

gush, eruptions that God Himself has put it there in you.
God is aware of this. Truth is, your drive should not drive
you! Allow Jesus to drive your drive!

Don't take masturbation as an alternative for actual

sex. Every attempt to help yourself will birth error and you
will be offending God. It is not the solution and it deprived
you of your joy and peace both as a single or couple.

Prisoners of this demon — masturbation — are held

in cruel chains even till the forever union of marriage.
Such persons don't enjoy the serenity and beauty that
God has installed for them in marriage. It's a robber of
destinies and fortune. What this does is to steal, kill and
destroy completely. The bondage of Masturbation is
enough to keep you stranded in life for donkey years..
WHY STOP/SHUN MASTURBATION

• Contrary to popular opinion, masturbation can increase

sexual desire instead of helping relieve it.

• One of the greatest dangers of masturbation (along with

fantasy, hooking up, erotics and pornography) is the belief
that we can satisfy our sexual needs without pursuing
covenant love.

• It has been discovered that many young people

experience delay in marriage because they have learned
to “take care of” their own sexual desires by themselves.

OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

1. Believe it is a SIN!
There have been enough arguments and debates on
this....and at the end if it all, it's always determined that
even though the Bible doesn't clearly spell it out in big
letters but as we have agreed that masturbation is very
wrong as a result of all that has been explained from the
beginning of this chapter.
 So, you must believe you're offending God with this
sinful act and that you're ready to seek a lasting way out
to your drives and urges..

2. Identify Your Trigger!

Trigger is what "sets you off".
Like a loaded gun, trigger is what allows your sexual drive
to drive you. Most common triggers include nude pictures,
erotic novels or magazines, X-tapes or even loneliness.

Once you identify your trigger, avoid it totally or if

it's some material contents, get rid of it quickly.

(REMEMBER YOU MUST BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT THIS).

Don't condone your triggers at all, they are little foxes
patiently waiting to destroy you.

Matthew 5:2 — "If your right eye serves as a trap

toensnare you or is an occasion for you to stumble and
sin, pluck it out and throw it away. It is better that you
lose one of your members than that your whole body be
cast into hell (Gehenna).
3. Understand God's Good Pleasure
Your tommorow will be a beautiful one when you are
fulfilling God's graciousness and desire on your heart. See
how your sexuality is designed by God that you may seek
the good pleasure that broods from satisfying the His will.
Romans 12:21 — Do not let yourself be overcome by evil,
but overcome (master) evil with good.

4. Live Triumphantly
You become a new creature in Christ. Therefore,
look forward unto God and tell yourself through
affirmations — of course, your affirmations are
professions and confessions of the words of Christ and His
finished works.
This is a result of your absolute belief and total
reliance on God to help you walk through temptations.
You're are hereby commissioned by Christ as FREE! No
longer shall you be held bound. No longer shall you be
drowned in guilt, shame and despair. The righteousnesses
of God is expressed over you.

NO LONGER SHALL DEATH and HELL TRIUMPH!

YOU'RE A WINNER!
 PORNOGRAPHY

"A virgin caught up in sex-related activities is not a virgin"

What is Pornography?
There are many definitions of pornograph based
different relative perspectives, but I'll go with that of the
Webster Dictionary that describes pornography as:

"The depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing)

and materials (such as photograph) that depicts erotic
behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement"
 According to Webroot, an Internet security site,
there are about 300,000 pornography addicts in the
United States, and also, about 40 million Americans
regularly visit porn sites.

In 2015, reports have it that the average number of

searches for pornography every month was 135,000, and
in December 2014 and 2015 the rate of searches for
pornography (relative to other searches) was much higher
in Nigeria than in the United States.
In 2013, Nigeria was ranked 2nd globally for
Internet searches for gay pornography. Sadly, Nigeria has
the highest number of Internet pornography viewers of
any country in Africa.

Unlike few decades back when porno users were few

and hide in the dark to do it. It was seen as strange and
improper. Now, porn is everywhere! Very cheap and
affordable. Yeah, right.. Really accessible, as easily
affordable as you want to put on your data and open your
browser to access it on smartphones, mobile devices
through websites, and online photo-sharing services.
 Also, through common advertisements, fashion,
movies, music, and magazines, as well as on television
and video games. From accidentally stumbling on an
unfamiliar erotic webpage to clicking a pop-up news beat
or notifcation about a leaked sex tape of a university
lecturer. Before you finish feasting on that several other
list of death are waiting to be seen. This is how the chain
of pornography begins.

Statistics show that every Year: The global

pornography industry generates a scary income as huge

as $100 billion (U.S.).
Champion, are you not part of this multitudes??

You see, it is really pathetic that a lot of youths

whom God has been blessed with glorious destinies are
not only selling out their bodies but also their glories to
these satan-led industries.

May you not be one of them in Jesus, Name. If you

are, by the Power of God, it is my hope and prayer that as
you read on, you get delivered in Jesus' Name. Amen.
 Based on real life scenarios, it is noted that those
who view pornography have “abnormal and uncontrollable
sexual urges,” which may result in an addiction to sex. It
can also trigger rape since they are insatiable like a
maniac. Champion, this is not God's beautiful picture for
you.
When you are preoccupied with dangerously lethal
sexual contents, you are installing trouble to dictate the
direction you will go. Your purpose is at risk of truncation
and you'll be making a good reason for the enemy to have
a party.

Slaves of pornography are ladened with with

long-lasting, devastating effects such as deep feelings of
shame and guilt, low productivity in the workplace,
unhappy life, divorce (if married) and sometimes suicide.

Many virgins (people) know how to cover their paths.

They "clean up" before showing up in public...and act like
all's well. These are a set of hypocrite that are are
suffering from this chains but try to play smart by
pretending and acting up to the detriment ot themselves.
 Just like a Choir Leader who smokes and drinks
alcohol but walks through an air of perfume and throws in
some balls of scenting sweets to veil his bad breath. It's
only a cover up. God cannot be deceived. Men may not
know but your ways are ever before the unseen eyes that
sees all.

You're leading a dangerous journey if you're still

caught in this web whether as a virgin, single or even
married person. What drives your life? Who is driving your
life?
When you leave the driver's seat of your life and
allow God to be in charge, how can your life not make
perfect sense?

See what scriptures say:

Galatians 6:7 —
"Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not
allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or
mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His
precepts being set aside.....For whatever a man sows, that
and that only is what he will reap"
 3 LIES ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY
There has been a lot of false and wrong reasons for
which many people indulge in pornography.

LIE 1:– Helps to satisfy immediate sexual arousal.

Pornography is simply a bite from the main dish.
Remember God is aware of your body reactions and
feelings just like I've explained earlier on. It doesn't satisfy
your desire; rather, it awakens it like a sleeping lion to kill.

LIE 2:– Kills boredom

Pornography is not a means of recreation. Your time
of loneliness sould be your time of holiness. When you're
bored there are many things to do. Play a game, take a
walk, pray, study God's words, pray. It works!

LIE 3:– Pre-Marriage Life Sexual Tutorials

See, at this juncture, I want you to believe these are
lies, believe it, they are big fat lies. Remember, sex is
God's intention. But do we commit a sin in order to fulfill
God's intention and purpose?
Listen...

Since your future partner will be God's best gift to you,

you cannot afford to displease God and also dishonor
them as well by resorting to pornography. You don't have
to watch pornography to please your future partner.

The evils that this demon unleash on a lot of people,

particularly youths is very terrible. Pornography sponsors
depression, exhaustion and it can lead to damage of
relationships; it births negative sexual passions and
behavioral characters; promotes loathsome sexist
attitudes towards women.

Culminatingly, it is capable of destroying a

pleasurable sexual experience with a partner (in
marriage); it causes erectile dysfunction in more than
50% of men; loss of memory and concentration; it can
make you lose your friends, poor academic and work
performance.
These and many more are grave circumstances that
befall porn users.
 YOU CAN BREAK FREE FROM PORNOGRAPHY
If you really want to break free and quit
pornography, below are actions and measures you can put
in place; but first, you have to give yourself an assured
belief that you'd be free, not just for a while but a lasting
recovery. You need to believe this will work. Your personal
belief is a powerful propeller of change. Recent studies
have shown that people who believe they can change
have more success replacing their addictions and deeply
seated bad habits than those who do not.
Now, since this all stems from your mind, chances
are that they will be easier to tackle when your mind is
willing to believe that you can let go of yourself to the
wind of positive change. So, here we GO!

1. Acknowledge Your Problem

First, you must acknowledge and recognize that
what you are doing is wrong. Many who are caught in this
trap of addiction find ways to justify their problem in their
mind. Proverbs 28:13 – "He who covers his
transgressions will not prosper, but whoever confesses
and forsakes his sins will obtain mercy"
2. Don't Blame Others
It may be true that some people are part of your
problems but never attempt to blame others in this
situation. Avoid shifting blames like:

"The ladies appeared so seductive; Maybe if they hadn't

come around me; They lured me"

You remember how Adam blamed Eve and she in

turn blamed the serpent. Instead, you must begin to take
responsibility for your actions.

3. Recognize That You Cannot Help Yourself

When it comes to matters as this, motivational
stunts don't work here. Your willpower is powerless here
and your ability becomes a disability. When a man
sidelines God in his pursuit of solutions, he will be
unavoidably embarrassed.
You remember how many times you have 'tried to
make up your mind' to discard those sin materials but you
end up downloading some fresh, hot, new set of videos
and erotic materials and once again, you're re-trapped.
 But, by admitting that you are finished without God's
help and owning up to the reality that you're in dire need
of God’s assistance in your weaknesses, you are granted
an open access to His supernatural intervention in your
life. You must learn to surrender your will and totality to
God’s will. Recognize that he alone can make you well
again. With this in place, you can be sure God can now
begin a glorious work in your life.

4. Get A Confidant
Having established that you cannot overcome this
yourself, you need to get a confidant. It may be a difficult
battle to fight if you depend on promises and curse-binds
because they don’t work....at least not for addiction to
pornography. Curse-binds are self-made oaths and
promises you make to stop yourself from some habits or
addictions. Good intentions don't do much either. Talk to a
trusted friend, mentor family member who can be a pillar
of strength. Talk Openly discuss the problem with them.
Also, make yourself accountable to a spiritual
authority, perhaps your pastor or mentor. Just be sure
they are a matured believer.
 In case you want to feel reluctant to do that....you
have to know this—
Secrets kill you by creating shame, fear and guilt. Go

ahead, talk about it, without negating the place and

power of trust in God. Everyone at one point or the other,
needs a reliable person to unburden their different
struggles to.

The scriptures say: James 5:16 — "Confess to one

another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps,
your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another,
that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of
mind and heart]....."

5. Study The Word Of God

James 1:21 –
[21]So get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant
outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle,
modest) spirit receive and WELCOME THE WORD WHICH
IMPLANTED AND ROOTED [IN YOUR HEARTS] CONTAINS
THE POWER TO SAVE YOUR SOULS.
6. You Must Destroy Every Pornography

Note the word 'destroy'. You must not just discard

them, destroy them. If you fail to destroy them totally
they wil destroy you and you will lose the beautiful picture
God has designed for you.

Take time to observe to note every hidden and

known pornographic content or materials in your
possession. Check for them also around you and destroy
them quickly — they may include musics, discs (tapes),
books, magazines, even clothes (some may carry sultry
inscriptions and images). Now, when you're getting rid of
these materials. Do it like you would do to a demon that
has oppressing you for long.

It's a very serious matter. Just so you know what

you're dealing with. Pornography is a ticking time bomb
that will ultimately destroy you and harm your family and
marriage.
7. You Must Learn To Flee Temptation
It is an act of self deception to think that you you're
strong enough. Anointing does not stop your libido and
sexual urges. Spirituality does not suppress your running
blood. It's expeditious to imbibe a high level of FLEEING.

See how King David fell into the trap of adultery and
murder because he couldn't run away from the temptation
of looking upon a naked bathing woman.

2 Samuel 11:2
"One evening David arose from his couch and was walking
on the roof of the king's house, when from there he saw a
woman bathing; and she was very lovely to behold."

You need to identify and avoid potential triggers.

• Do you get the urge to watch porn when you are
browsing the internet alone?
• Do you feel aroused when listening to some seclar
musics?
• What are those TV programs that makes you makes
your sleeping rods to rise?
• What books do you read that waters you like wet
gardens?

• What sort of magazines do you read that subtily

introduces you to porn?

Are you answering them already???

After finding these your weaknesses, don't just avoid

them, run away from them. Let the picture of FLEEING
JOSEPH flash through your mind this minute.

Don't play with temptation. Flee reom temptation.

The temptation to "Quickly" look at it "Just Once" since
"Noone" is watching. Know this, God's eyes is always fixed
on you!

See what scriptures say, – Proverbs 4:14,15

"Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not proceed
in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it. Turn
away from it and pass on."
8. Take Time-Outs
You have to give yourself time to work through the
process of recovery. Don't think too much about it. Free
your mind, the time out, relax and express your creativity
in doing some works. Overtime, God makes use of a
process, a medium of learning and building process in
making you what he wants —that can be very demanding.

You have to be in tune with God's desire.

9. Watch Your Growth

As eager as you are to get while in one day, it won't
happen like that. But, you're going to make a grahhh6dual
progress in your victory walk. You'll keep winning in bits
till you eventually win. You have to rejoice in your little
victories. It will begin to happen slowly at first but if you
persist, you will not only be free but you will be free
indeed— For Christ has set you free indeed. Your freedom
had been obtained through God's Mercy in the redeeming
blood of Jesus.
Romans 6 vs 8 — "And having been set free from sin, you
have become the servants of righteousness (of conformity
to the divine will in thought, purpose, and action)."
 PURITY IS ATTAINABLE

Purity is attainable!
Even in a perverted society and world as ours. It is
still a standard of God. Purity, both physically and mentally
allows us to walk in everything God has for us. In a
season of my life, I struggled with forces to become a
victor. Yet, as Apostle Paul says....not as if I've worn the
crown but God is faithful and will ever be. Glory to God.
Hallelujah!

It is true that if you talk to God, He will be your

anchor and you'll never be held bound by unwholesome
forces. All standards of God are achievable. Remember,
the scriptures say he won't test us beyond how we can
bear.
You have to totally shun and avoid anything that
causes you to walk out of God's intention. Less a life of
cleanliness and pursue purity.

Thinking about Purity as an ordinary matter is what

fuels the triviality with which many people handle it.

God delights in you, but He is displeased at your choice

of sin over His righteousness made available in His Son—
Jesus Christ. He tells you He is Able to help you. God
doesnt delight in the vulnerability of His children to the
enemy.

Purity Seeps from Your Heart

Your purity begins in your heart and the
manifestation of your purity is in your actions and
thoughts. A believer who is pure will not indulge in
immorality and sexual related crimes. Jesus explicitly
simplified this, here in Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that
anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart”.
 Purity is a battle for the strong! The strength and
power required is not yours, but is made yours by faith
and submissive trust in Christ Jesus.
By all means, disassociate yourself from corruptions
of your body and heart that can breed fatal errors.

2 Corinthians 10:5 —
"....refute arguments and theories and reasonings and
every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the
[true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and
purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ"

Having established these, we can now start a

journey to figuring out how to practically be pure in heart
both spiritually and physically. There is something you
must know. Voices that pronounce your imperfections and
make you vulnerable to their attacks are from nowhere
else but Hell. You need to first silence those many voices
screaming guilt, shame and reproach into your thinking.
Refute their authority, and refuse to acknowledge
their force over you, for they have none over you. Christ
has all powers on earth and in heaven. And that Jesus is
here to help you.
 These voices want to make you believe you are
helpless and cannot get help or solace in anyone. They
blindfold you to think you are forever enslaved.
Everything that lifts itself in pride to compete for
ownership of your heart with God is the Spirit of impurity.

These voices need be shut out that screams out

untrue words into your ears. They make you confess that
you can't be free, they lie to you, in your head that you
are theirs. Can you prove them wrong today?

It's an open insult to the cross for you to begin to

believe these lies. Lies of the Devil. Listen, you can be
free, you can attain purity.

Purity is a lifestyle requirement for believers, there

is no reserved few or strong people that are specially
chosen by God to be pure. As a dweller in Zion— God's
Holy Temple, you have access to purity! Seeing it in this
light makes you vulnerable to the mercy of God. Then,
you are able to trust him for Grace and Power....and He
will help you! Remember the open arms of the cross. You
can always make your burdens known to God. Centre your
life and living in obedience and let God settle your future.

Daily Sanctification

Taking the Purity decisiom is a life decision that

requiresdaily commitment.

It is impossible to rule out the place of the Holy

Spirit. God's Spirit quickens you and makes you senitive to
the presence of traps and temptations — But your spirit
cannot be sensitive to anything you have not made the
decision to start doing or quit as the case may be.

Consider Joseph, the 17year old boy who was sold

into slavery by his jealous brothers to an Egyptian Captain
and Chief Executioner — Potiphar.

On countless occasions, Potiphar’s wife tries to get

young, attractive Joseph to sleep with her......

Genesis 39:8,10
"...But he refused and said to his master's wife, See here,
with me in the house my master has concern about
nothing; he has put all that he has in my care.
He is not greater in this house than I am; nor has he kept
anything from me except you, for you are his wife. HOW
THEN CAN I DO THIS GREAT EVIL AND SIN AGAINST
GOD? She spoke to Joseph DAY AFTER DAY, BUT HE DID
NOT LISTEN TO HER, to lie with her or to be with her."

In her last attempt, Joseph stood his ground

resistively telling her he cannot commit such a wickedness
against God.
I personally maintain that young Joseph did not start
the decision to uphold his purity the moment Potiphar’s
wife fastened her lustful eyes on him. Joseph has always
being committed to a life of purity long before meeting
Potiphar’s wife.

What is seen in the Chapter 39 is just a

re-affirmation of the person he had always been. This is
important to make sure Potiphar's wife never gets her way
to seduce him.
 It is of utmost importance that you decide to abide
with God’s standard of purity before you find yourself in
tight corners of temptations.

WHY PURSUE PURITY?

1. You See Life More Beautifully.

Purity helps to shape a more beautiful perspective

about life in you and especially about your partner ( if you
are in a relationship).

Beyond the many victories over these many risks:

STD’s, unplanned pregnancies, having lucid dreams, and
emotional attachment, failure. Leading a life of purity
builds an amazing mentality in you. You're able to
appreciate life the more.

You find expression in God's beautiful creation and

because you are not led by the desires of the flesh and
lust after their body, you are able to reflect on the
relationship better. It allows you to communicate more
effectively and without banking on your body as a means
of solving issues. This strengthens your sense of maturity.

2. Purity Is A Crucial Tool For Purpose Fulfilment.

To be pure you need not only do good but actually

be good. Now, if you still doubt if you can be truly dead to
your flesh... then that’s because Christ is not yet alive in
you. It is impossible to be pure when you lack True
Salvation in Christ Jesus.

Recall how in (Judges Chapters 13-16), Samson

—God's Nazarite lost out in the battle of purpose because
he failed to exercise over his sexual cravings. Anyone who
is controlled by their sexual urges will not be able to listen
to Godly counsel. This happens because they have
allowed the enemy to break into their life to steal their
surrender and submission to Christ....and now, they are
slaves of the flesh.

THE WAY
Having mentioned a lot. I'm glad to tell you THERE
IS A WAY OUT! One of my personal quotes says:
"This life is a jungle where many people struggle; but few
do not, for they have the map— Jesus"
In the multitudes of voices and suggestions, Christ
Jesus remains not just the best way but THE ONLY WAY.
John 14:6
"Jesus said to him, I am the Way and the Truth and the
Life; no one comes to the Father except by (through) Me."

His death provides a 'total freedom' from the painful

pangs of sin. In His birth, you have salvation; in His life
you have redemption and in His resurrection, you have
restoration. He died your death that death might lose its
hold on you. That Hell may be swallowed up in victory.
The sinless man became the sin that the sinFULL may
become sinless — You are God's! Sanctified and Purified.

The following are trusted steps to help you live purely

amidst a world of impurities.

Step 1: Repent
It isn't enough to merely confess in speech or tears
that you have repented from your old ways. Your actions
after your confession should reflect your repentance.

Perhaps, you're stll tied to your from your sin partners.

Take the bold step of letting them go. If they won't leave,
Quite understandably, they won't agree at first. This is
where your hardness will be tested. Don't allow them to
manipulate or blackmail you with your past actions.

Acts 17:30
[30]Such [former] ages of ignorance God, it is true,
ignored and allowed to pass unnoticed; but now He
charges all people everywhere to repent (to change their
minds for the better and heartily to amend their ways,
with abhorrence of their past sins),

2 Corinthians 5:17
[17]Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the
Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether);
the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed
away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!
Both scriptures prove that God is still faithful and ready
not only to forgive you but also give you a wonderful and
amazing pure life in Himself.

Step 2: Request
Each time you attempt to help yourself by yourself,
you are hurting yourself. You can be assured of failure
every time you attempt to please God by your own power.
Request the help of the Holy Spirit.

In a world as deeply sexualized as this, the only way to

stay blameless is to seek the help of the Holy Spirit.
No believer is above sexual temptation. The
understanding of God's word that you know is what will
helove you to make a difference. So make your request to
stay pure to God.

Step 3: Resolve
There is a need for you to find friends who would
serve as props for your spiritual stabiliy. Not a company of
people that will stir or influence you to compromise your
decisions for worldliness.
 Have and keep a circle of helpful and suportive
friends. Friends who will keep you accountable. Friends
that won't feed you with toxic contents.
Resolve in your heart to stay pure at all costs. If this
means hurting your old ungoldy relationships and
Hangouts, then so be it.

Step 4: Don't Give In

After swallowing all these truth pills, pressures will
not only rise but also abound from friends, colleagues,
family, environment and your circle.

Each of them will try to make you feel like you will
be old and awkward, boring or archaic because you have
chosey to uphold the standard of God in purity, but rejoice
greatly in this.

YES! See what scriptures say in:

Matthew 5:11-12
"Blessed (happy, to be envied, and spiritually
prosperous–with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor
and salvation, regardless of your outward conditions) are
you when people revile you and persecute you and say all
kinds of evil things against you falsely on My account."
"Be glad and supremely joyful, for your reward in heaven
is great (strong and intense), for in this same way people
persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Singleness isn't the same as aloneness!

Your time of loneliness should be your time of Holiness!
You are not alone. God is with you.
This war is not a lone war...there are many others
like you who out there as well and they are fighting well.
They are yielding to God. Can you join the Train?

There is a vacuum in every human that NOTHING else

can fill except God. Not money, friends, NOTHING but
God.

What do you want?

To spend eternity with loving savior— Jesus in heaven
OR
in the Devil's eternal death-hole?
...and He comes in upon you like a thief in the night, to
meet you in one of your escapades. You never know the
hour in which your God shall appear and reprimand you
for all you do, don't do and think about — When he holds
you accountable for your life.

Revelation 22:15
"Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually
immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who
loves and practices falsehood"

Now is the time to utterly die TO YOUR FLESH and

become ALIVE in CHRIST JESUS.

Let us Pray!
Lord Jesus, I thank you for my life. Thank you for loving
me, thank you for dying for me. I confess my weakness,
immorality and impurity. God have mercy upon me. Help
me in my moments of struggles and help me always. I
accept you as my personal Savior. I confess you as the
Only Son of God. Write my name in the book of life.
Thank you for saving me. Amen.
Prayer Points!
• I activate my victory power in Jesus Name.

• Over every oppressive wills, I emfore my sonship authority in

Christ Jesus.

• By the blood of the lamb, God break all my chains.

• Oh God, give me your peace in Purity by the Holy Spirit.

• Evil forces keeping me in chain, be destroyed with the chains.

• Every bond that I'm entangled in, Jesus break them in pieces.

• Demonic powers affecting my life and bent on destroying me,

you'll never have your way in Jesus' Name.

• Jesus, take my life, my soul, my heart. Take my all for yourself.

• Lord Jesus, make me a Carrier of your Gospel.

• I will never misrepresent you God.

Declaration!
• Jesus, I confess you're my help, help my infirmities.

• The Grace and Peace of God rests upon me.

• I will not miss the Eternity Train in Jesus Name.

God Bless You For Reading Through. Begin to live in victory.

SHALOM!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

STEPHEN Oluyemi
Oluwadamilare popularly
known by his pen name—
Dare Yemi is a Poet, Writer,
Networker, Graphics
Designer, Teens Coach,
Radical Transformational Leader, Sexual Purity Crusader
and a Street and Digital Evangelist.
Founder of Young People Connect w/Dare Yemi— a
Network that aims at young minds who grow up knowing
knowing God and focus on making the difference with
core values that include Purity, Chasitity, Purpose,
Leadership.
He is the convener of #DVI —Dare Yemi Valentine
Initiative; a non-profit platform targeted at educating,
informing and sensitizing thousands of children,
teenagers, young adults and singles as well...on the
lurking dangers of the Feb. 14 Annual Valentine's Day
Celebration.
 Dare is passionate about the overall wellness of
young minds especially that they do not miss it in the
areas of purpose and destiny. As a Digital and Street
Preacher, he recognises the scary fact that a man's life is
utterly bankrupt without Christ and he's willing to help
many know more about God's love and will for their lives.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

For Counselling / Prayer Sessions OR any other reasons:

Contact OLUYEMI STEPHEN OLUWADAMILARE on the following inlets:

Email: dareyemi0630@gmail.com

Facebook: Oluyemi Dare Stephen

Instagram: @dareyemink

WhatsApp:+2348144023094

Text/Call: +2349041158760