The New Misadventures Of Huck Finn & Tom Sawyer:

A Merry Huck Christmas

Lacy Maran & Kevin Michael

Based on characters created by Mark Twain

Copyright 2010 by Lacy Maran & Kevin Michael

Smashwords Edition

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 Every family has a Christmas tradition. For some, it's
putting up enough lights for their house to be seen from
space. For others, it's trying to make it through the night
without their alcoholic Uncle tackling the tree. For Huck
Finn and his adopted Aunt Polly, it's finding out what
grease fire Tom Sawyer has set this year.
Tom has always been a trouble maker, but ever since his
relationship with Becky Thatcher fizzled, he's gone buck
wild. Now Tom is rudderless, wreaking havoc on both the St.
Petersburg singles and employment scene. I mean this is a
guy who got fired at the DMV and brought a pet psychic home
as a date for Thanksgiving last year.
Huck meanwhile has found himself more civilized, having
fallen in love while carving out a nice niche as a Redneck
Realtor. But Huck is holding on to a secret he's not quite
ready to share and is more than happy to yield Tom the
spotlight. And although Tom and Huck are best friends,
Huck's girlfriend and her straight-laced ways have
definitely come between them.
Something is different about this Christmas though. Tom
shows up stag. With no psychic, fan fare, or even hint of
alcohol on his breath. But he's hiding something, and Aunt
Polly isn't about to wait for the presents to be unwrapped
to find out what it is.
"You want to move back in?" Aunt Polly asks, hysterical.
Tom had barely made it into the entryway before Aunt
Polly assaulted him with questions. But boy does she not
like the answers.
"It's only temporary," Tom argues. "Just until I get
back on my feet."
"But I thought you were making enough selling doo-
hickeys at the mall to make rent," Polly continues,
referring to Tom's job selling cell phone accessories at a
mall kiosk.
"Yeah, that job wasn't a good fit for me."
"How do you get fired at a mall kiosk?" Polly asks,
exasperated.
"Look, I have a good lead for this job selling knives,"
Tom insists.
"Where did I go wrong?"
"Oh no no. Not killing knives. Steak knives. Kitchen
knives. That sort of thing. It's better than working at a
mall. I get to make my own hours."
"So what, you think you can move back in here with your
pet psychic girlfriend and sells knives for a living?"
 "Pet psychic?" Tom mutters to himself, having slept with
so many women he can't keep track of them all. "Oh no. She
predicted no future between us."
"You know, I ran into Becky Thatcher's Mom at the super
market. Why couldn't you two kids make it work?"
"I told you not to ever bring her up again Aunt Polly."
"Oh, who am I kidding? Becky dates business men, not
knife salesman."
"Hey, why don't we go open presents?" Tom suggests,
changing the subject.
"Not so fast buster. Why do you want to come back here?
Why not just stay with Huck for a while?"
"Because he's moving to California."
Aunt Polly's jaw drops.
"Wait, he didn't tell you?" Tom asks.
Huck then comes out of the living room. "Alright, the
tree is all lit up." He sees Tom. "What, you didn't bring
the hypnotist this time?" Huck asks, thinking back on Tom's
latest relationship grease fire.
But Aunt Polly has other thoughts on her mind. "Since
when are you moving to California?"
Huck shoots a glare to Tom, who grimaces. "Uh...hey, who
wants a drink?"
But Aunt Polly won't be side-tracked. "I thought the big
news you had to tell me was you and Nicole are having a
kid?"
"Oh God no. Where'd you get that idea?"
"Your girlfriend."
"Oh." Huck looks befuddled.
"So what does California have that we don't?"
"He's going to be a Realtor To The Stars," Tom mocks.
"Great. So I have one kid moving back in and another kid
moving a thousand miles away. Any more good news or can I
have a heart attack now?"
Every family has their Christmas traditions. For some
it's caroling up and down the block. For others it's
opening presents Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day.
For Tom and Huck, it's watching their Aunt Polly drinking
herself into a stupor bemoaning how things have gone
terribly wrong. But at least when she wakes up in the
morning, she'll have a brand new set of steak knives.