HL Essay - Hamilton - Comments and marks

A: Knowledge, understanding and interpretation - 5 out of 5

The knowledge and understanding of the literary work run deep. What’s more, this
knowledge is relevant to the line of inquiry and topic of higher education. Clearly this
student has made extensive interpretations of this one, arguably small, motif in the
novel. The conclusion especially shows a deeper understanding of the literary work in
the context of the stock market crash of 1929 and the Great Depression and connects
these events to a lack of educated, middle-class citizens. The inclusion of quotations
from the primary source supports the argument that the wealthy class’ outlook on
education is hypocritical.

B: Analysis and evaluation - 5 out of 5

The candidate has not only analysed allusions to Oxford University, JP Morgan and
Maecenas, but the candidate has also evaluated their relevance to the argument of the
essay, that book smarts don’t matter in a corrupt world.

C: Coherence, focus and organisation - 5 out of 5

The essay is very coherent. Clear topic sentences outline the focus of the paragraphs.
The final sentence of each paragraph ties back nicely to the thesis statement.

D: Language - 5 out of 5
The student’s use of vocabulary, tone, syntax, style and terminology is convincingly
accurate, varied and effective.