Thomcs Mcnn

Ðoctor Iuostos

THI LIII OI THI GIRMAN COMPOSIR
AÐRIAN LIVIRKLHN
AS TOLÐ BY A IRIINÐ


TrunsIuLed Irom LIe Germun by
H. T. LOWI-PORTIR

Lo çiorno se n'cndctc e l'cere bruno toçlietc çli cnimci che sono in terrc dclle
jctiche loro, ed io sol uno m'cppcrecchictc c sostener lc çuerrc si del ccmmino e si
dellc pietcte, che ritrcrrc lc mente que non errc. D Muse, o clto inçeçno, or
m'ciutcte, o mente che scritesti cio ch'io tidi, qui si pcrrc lc tuc nobilitcte.
DunLe: Injerno, CunLo ¡¡



ALIRIÐ A. KNOPI NIW YORK
1qqS

TH¡S ¡S A BORZO¡ BOOK, PUB¡¡SHED BY A¡¡RED A. KNOP¡, ¡NC.
CopyrIgIL 1qq8 by AIIred A. KnopI, ¡nc. AII rIgILs reserved. No purL oI LIIs book muy be reproduced In uny Iorm
wILIouL permIssIon In wrILIng Irom LIe pubIIsIer, excepL by u revIewer wIo muy quoLe brIeI pussuges In u revIew Lo be
prInLed In u muguzIne or newspuper. MunuIucLured In LIe UnILed SLuLes oI AmerIcu. CopyrIgIL In Cunudu by AIIred A.
KnopI, ¡nc.
OrIgInuIIy pubIIsIed In Germun by Bermunn-¡IscIer VerIug A. B., SLockIoIm. CopyrIgIL 1qq; by TIomus Munn.


TRANSLATOR'S NOTI
"¡es LruducLIons sonL comme Ies Iemmes: Iorsqu'eIIes sonL beIIes, eIIes ne sonL pus IIdeIes, eL
Iorsqu'eIIes sonL IIdeIes, eIIes ne sonL pus beIIes." ¡rom u more IumIIIur source we ure InsLrucLed
LIuL "Lo Iuve IonesLy coupIed Lo beuuLy Is Lo Iuve Ioney u suuce Lo sugur." And on LIe IIgIesL
uuLIorILy oI uII we know LIuL LIe prIce oI u vIrLuous womun, wILI no menLIon oI oLIer cIurm, Is
ubove rubIes. AII LIIngs consIdered, wIuL remuIns Lo Iope Is onIy LIuL LIe EngIIsI versIon oI
Doctor Icustus Iere presenLed muy uL IeusL noL conjure up LIe pIcLure oI u Iemme nI beIIe nI
IIdeIe.
¡L Is Lo be Ieured. TIe uuLIor IImseII Ius Ieured IL. ¡ venLure Lo quoLe on LIIs poInL, IIILIng IL
Irom ILs conLexL In LIe EpIIogue, some words oI LIe nurruLor, wIo Iere sureIy speuks Ior LIe
uuLIor IImseII: "¡n ucLuuI IucL ¡ Iuve someLImes pondered wuys und meuns oI sendIng LIese
puges Lo AmerIcu, In order LIuL LIey mIgIL IIrsL be IuId beIore LIe pubIIc In un EngIIsI
LrunsIuLIon... True, LIere comes LIe LIougIL oI LIe essenLIuIIy IoreIgn ImpressIon my book musL
muke In LIuL cuILuruI cIImuLe; und coupIed wILI IL LIe dIsmuyIng prospecL LIuL ILs LrunsIuLIon InLo
EngIIsI musL Lurn ouL, uL IeusL In some uII Loo rudIcuIIy Germun purLs, Lo be un ImpossIbIIILy,"
GrIevous dIIIIcuILIes do Indeed conIronL unyone essuyIng LIe roIe oI copyIsL Lo LIIs vusL cunvus,
LIIs cuLIedruI oI u book, LIIs woven LupesLry oI symboIIsm. TrunsIuLIons deuI wILI words; und In
Lwo IIeIds uL IeusL LIe sILuuLIon Is unsuLIsIucLory (¡ do noL IncIude In LIe IIsL LIe exLended musIcuI
dIscussIon und crILIque, sInce musIc, und LuIk ubouL IL, uses un exucL und InLernuLIonuI Iunguuge).
BuL dIuIecL cunnoL be LrunsIuLed, IL cun onIy be goL round by u sorL oI LrIckery wIIcI Is usuuIIy
unconvIncIng. AguIn, LIere ure cIupLers resorLIng Lo un urcIuIc sLyIe und speIIIng. TIe EngIIsI-
speukIng worId bousLs no ¡uLIer In LIe IIsLory oI ILs Iunguuge; und LIe vocubuIury oI WycIIIIe,
TInduIe, TIomus More cun scurceIy evoke Ior us LIe emoLIons oI LIe IILeruLe Germun In so Iur us
LIese ure summoned up by LIe very words LIemseIves wIIcI ¡uLIer used. On LIe oLIer Iund LIIs
urcIuIc sLyIe Is empIoyed onIy In u Iew cIupLers, us u devIce Lo suggesL un eIemenL LIuL Is
IndIcuLed by oLIer meuns us weII. And LIe IInuI dIIIIcuILy Is IurdIy u IInguIsLIc one, buL ruLIer u
muLLer oI LIe "cuILuruI cIImuLe" oI wIIcI LIe uuLIor speuks: LIuL knoLLed und combIned
ussocIuLIon, symboIIsm, bIogrupIy, und uuLobIogrupIy wIIcI mIgIL muke even Germun reuders
be gIud oI u key Lo unIock ILs uLLermosL Lreusure.
So, uILer uII, LIese dIIIIcuILIes ure seen Lo be u muLLer oI degree. AguInsL LIem, Iur ouLweIgIIng
LIem, Is LIe IucL LIuL LIIs monstrum cller Romcne Is uddressed noL onIy Lo Germuns, noL onIy Lo
Europeuns, buL equuIIy Lo ourseIves. AII LIuL our worId Ius IIved LIrougI In LIIs pusL quurLer-
cenLury Ius Iorced us Lo enLer LIIs cIImuLe und Lo recognIze LIuL LIese ure our proper sLresses.
Reuders oI Icustus wIII und musL be InvoIved, wILI sIudders, In uII LIree sLrunds oI LIe book: LIe
Germun scene Irom wILIIn und ILs brouder, ILs unIversuI orIgIns; LIe depIcLIon oI un urL noL
Germun uIone buL vILuI Lo our wIoIe cIvIIIzuLIon; musIc us one InsLunce oI LIe urLs und LIe sLuLe
In wIIcI LIe urLs IInd LIemseIves Loduy; und, IInuIIy, LIe InvocuLIon oI LIe duemonIc. ¡L Is
necessury Ior us Lo reud Icustus, even In u versIon wIIcI cunnoL Iuy cIuIm Lo beIng beuuLIIuI,
LIougI In every InLenL IL Is deepIy IuILIIuI.
TIe LrunsIuLor wIsIes Lo express wurm und IeurLIeIL LIunks Lo LIe scIoIurs wIo Iuve been so
IeIpIuI In cerLuIn cIupLers: especIuIIy Lo Dr. Mosco Gurner, conducLor und musIcoIogIsL, udvIser
Lo LIe MusIcuI SLuII oI LIe B.B.C.; und Mr. GruIum OrLon, oI LIe UnIversILy oI DurIum, EngIund,
wIo Ius been IndeIuLIgubIy resourceIuI und suggesLIve In LIe medIuevuI porLIons. OLIer scIoIurs
In vurIous IIeIds, noLubIy ProIessor R. D. WeIcI, Ieud oI LIe MusIc DepurLmenL oI PrInceLon
UnIversILy, und Mrs. WeIcI, Iuve IeIped LIe LrunsIuLor wILI commenLs und suggesLIons In wuys
Loo numerous Lo specIIy In deLuII. TIuL LIey Iuve done so Is u LrIbuLe Lo LIe uuLIor oI Icustus.



CHAPTIR I
¡ wIsI Lo sLuLe quILe deIInILeIy LIuL IL Is by no meuns ouL oI uny wIsI Lo brIng my own
personuIILy InLo LIe Ioreground LIuL ¡ preIuce wILI u Iew words ubouL myseII und my own uIIuIrs
LIIs reporL on LIe IIIe oI LIe depurLed AdrIun ¡everküIn. WIuL ¡ Iere seL down Is LIe IIrsL und
ussuredIy very premuLure bIogrupIy oI LIuL beIoved IeIIow-creuLure und musIcIun oI genIus, so
uIIIIcLed by IuLe, IIILed up so IIgI, onIy Lo be so IrIgILIuIIy cusL down. ¡ InLrude myseII, oI course,
onIy In order LIuL LIe reuder - ¡ mIgIL beLLer suy LIe IuLure reuder, Ior uL LIIs momenL LIere
exIsLs noL LIe smuIIesL prospecL LIuL my munuscrIpL wIII ever see LIe IIgIL unIess, by some
mIrucIe, IL were Lo Ieuve our beIeuguered Europeun IorLress und brIng Lo LIose wILIouL some
breuLI oI LIe secreLs oI our prIson-Iouse - Lo resume: onIy becuuse ¡ consIder LIuL IuLure
reuders wIII wIsI Lo know wIo und wIuL LIe uuLIor Is do ¡ preIuce LIese dIscIosures wILI u Iew
noLes ubouL myseII. ¡ndeed, my mInd mIsgIves me LIuL ¡ sIuII onIy be uwukenIng LIe reuder's
doubL wIeLIer Ie Is In LIe rIgIL Iunds: wIeLIer, ¡ meun, my wIoIe exIsLence does noL dIsquuIIIy
me Ior u Lusk dIcLuLed by my IeurL ruLIer LIun by uny Lrue compeLence Ior LIe work.
¡ reud over LIe ubove IInes und cunnoL IeIp remurkIng In myseII u cerLuIn dIscomIorL, u
pIysIcuI oppressIon onIy Loo IndIcuLIve oI LIe sLuLe oI mInd In wIIcI ¡ sIL down Loduy In my IILLIe
sLudy, mIne LIese muny yeurs, uL ¡reIsIng on LIe ¡sur, on LIe z;LI oI Muy 1qq¸, LIree yeurs uILer
¡everküIn's deuLI (LIree yeurs, LIuL Is, uILer Ie pussed Irom deep nIgIL InLo LIe deepesL nIgIL oI
uII), Lo muke u begInnIng uL descrIbIng LIe IIIe oI my unIuppy IrIend now resLIng - oI, muy IL be
so! - now resLIng In God. My words, ¡ suy, beLruy u sLuLe oI mInd In unguIsIed conIIIcL beLween u
puIpILuLIng ImpuIse Lo communIcuLe und u proIound dIsLrusL oI my own udequucy. ¡ um by
nuLure wIoIIy moderuLe, oI u Lemper, ¡ muy suy, boLI IeuILIy und Iumune, uddressed Lo reuson
und Iurmony; u scIoIur und conjurctus oI LIe "¡uLIn IosL," noL IuckIng uII conLucL wILI LIe urLs (¡
pIuy LIe vIoIu d'umore) buL u son oI LIe Muses In LIuL ucudemIc sense wIIcI by preIerence
regurds ILseII us descended Irom LIe Germun IumunIsLs oI LIe LIme oI LIe "PoeLs."
HeIr oI u ReucIIIn, u CroLus oI DornIeIm, oI MuLIunus und Eobun oI Hesse, LIe duemonIc,
IILLIe us ¡ presume Lo deny ILs InIIuence upon Iumun IIIe, ¡ Iuve uL uII LImes Iound uLLerIy IoreIgn
Lo my nuLure. ¡nsLIncLIveIy ¡ Iuve rejecLed IL Irom my pIcLure oI LIe cosmos und never IeIL LIe
sIIgILesL IncIInuLIon rusIIy Lo open LIe door Lo LIe powers oI durkness: urrogunLIy Lo cIuIIenge,
or II LIey oI LIemseIves venLured Irom LIeIr sIde, even Lo IoId ouL my IILLIe IInger Lo LIem. To
LIIs uLLILude ¡ Iuve mude my sucrIIIces, noL onIy IdeuIIy buL uIso Lo my prucLIcuI dIsudvunLuge: ¡
unIesILuLIngIy resIgned my beIoved LeucIIng proIessIon, und LIuL beIore LIe LIme wIen IL becume
evIdenL LIuL IL couId noL be reconcIIed wILI LIe spIrIL und cIuIms oI our IIsLorIcuI deveIopmenL.
¡n LIIs respecL ¡ um conLenL wILI myseII. BuL my seII-suLIsIucLIon or, II you preIer, my eLIIcuI
nurrow-mIndedness cun onIy sLrengLIen my doubL wIeLIer ¡ muy IeeI myseII LruIy cuIIed Lo my
presenL Lusk.
¡ndeed, ¡ Iud scurceIy seL my pen In moLIon wIen LIere escuped IL u word wIIcI prIvuLeIy guve
me u cerLuIn emburrussmenL. ¡ meun LIe word "genIus": ¡ spoke oI LIe musIcuI genIus oI my de-
purLed IrIend. Now LIIs word "genIus," uILIougI exLreme In degree, cerLuInIy In kInd Ius u nobIe,
IurmonIous, und Iumune rIng. TIe IIkes oI me, Iowever Iur Irom cIuImIng Ior my own person u
pIuce In LIIs IoILy reuIm, or ever preLendIng Lo Iuve been bIesL wILI LIe ditinis injluxibus ex clto,
cun see no reusonubIe ground Ior sIrInkIng, no reuson Ior noL deuIIng wILI IL In cIeur-eyed con-
IIdence. So IL seems. And yeL IL cunnoL be denIed (und Ius never been) LIuL LIe duemonIc und
IrruLIonuI Iuve u dIsquIeLIng sIure In LIIs rudIunL spIere. We sIudder us we reuIIze LIuL u
connecLIon subsIsLs beLween IL und LIe neLIer worId, und LIuL LIe reussurIng epithetc wIIcI ¡
sougIL Lo uppIy: "sune, nobIe, IurmonIous, Iumune," do noL Ior LIuL reuson quILe IIL, even wIen
- ¡ Iorce myseII, Iowever puInIuIIy, Lo muke LIIs dIsLIncLIon - even wIen LIey ure uppIIed Lo u
pure und genuIne, God-gIven, or sIuII ¡ suy God-InIIIcLed genIus, und noL Lo un ucquIred kInd, LIe
sInIuI und morbId corrupLIon oI nuLuruI gIILs, LIe Issue oI u IorrIbIe burguIn...
Here ¡ breuk oII, cIugrIned by u sense oI my urLIsLIc sIorLcomIngs und Iuck oI seII-conLroI.
AdrIun IImseII couId IurdIy - IeL us suy In u sympIony - Iuve IeL sucI u LIeme uppeur so
premuLureIy. AL LIe mosL Ie wouId Iuve uIIowed IL Lo suggesL ILseII uIur oII, In some subLIy
dIsguIsed, uImosL ImpercepLIbIe wuy. YeL Lo LIe reuder LIe words wIIcI escuped me muy seem
buL u durk, dIsLrusLubIe suggesLIon, und Lo me uIone IIke u rusIIng In wIere ungeIs Ieur Lo Lreud.
¡or u mun IIke me IL Is very Iurd, IL uIIecLs IIm uImosL IIke wunLon IoIIy, Lo ussume LIe uLLILude oI
u creuLIve urLIsL Lo u subjecL wIIcI Is deur Lo IIm us IIIe und burns IIm Lo express; ¡ know noL
Iow Lo LreuL IL wILI LIe urLIsL's eusy musLery. Hence my Loo IusLy enLry InLo LIe dIsLIncLIon
beLween pure und Impure genIus, u dIsLIncLIon LIe exIsLence oI wIIcI ¡ recognIze, onIy Lo usk
myseII uL once wIeLIer IL Ius u rIgIL Lo exIsL uL uII. ExperIence Ius Iorced me Lo ponder LIIs
probIem so unxIousIy, so urgenLIy, LIuL uL LImes, IrIgILIuI Lo suy, IL Ius seemed Lo me LIuL ¡
sIouId be drIven beyond my proper und becomIng IeveI oI LIougIL, und myseII experIence un
"Impure" IeIgILenIng oI my nuLuruI gIILs.
AguIn ¡ breuk oII, In LIe reuIIzuLIon LIuL ¡ cume Lo speuk oI genIus, und LIe IucL LIuL IL Is In uny
cuse duemonIcuIIy InIIuenced, onIy Lo uIr my doubL wIeLIer ¡ possess LIe necessury uIIInILy Ior
my Lusk. AguInsL my conscIenLIous scrupIes muy LIe LruLI uvuII, wIIcI ¡ uIwuys Iuve Lo brIng InLo
LIe IIeId uguInsL LIem, LIuL IL wus voucIsuIed me Lo spend muny yeurs oI my IIIe In cIose
IumIIIurILy wILI u mun oI genIus, LIe Iero oI LIese puges; Lo Iuve known IIm sInce cIIIdIood, Lo
Iuve wILnessed IIs growLI und IIs desLIny und sIured In LIe modesL roIe oI udjuvunL Lo IIs
creuLIve ucLIvILy. TIe IIbreLLo Irom SIukespeure's comedy Lote's Lcbour's Lost, ¡everküIn's
exuberunL youLIIuI composILIon, wus my work; ¡ uIso Iud someLIIng Lo do wILI LIe prepuruLIon
oI LIe LexLs Ior LIe groLesque operu suILe Gestc Romcnorum und LIe oruLorIo The Retelction oj
St. 1ohn the Ditine. And perIups LIere wus LIIs, LIuL, und LIe oLIer besIdes. BuL uIso ¡ um In
possessIon oI pupers, prIceIess skeLcIes, wIIcI In duys wIen Ie wus sLIII In IeuILI, or II LIuL Is
suyIng Loo mucI, LIen In compuruLIveIy und IeguIIy sound ones, LIe deceused mude over Lo me, Lo
me und Lo no oLIer; on LIese ¡ meun Lo buse my uccounL, yes, ¡ InLend Lo seIecL und IncIude some
oI LIem dIrecL. BuL IIrsL und IusL - und LIIs jusLIIIcuLIon wus uIwuys LIe mosL vuIId, II noL beIore
men, LIen beIore God - ¡ Ioved IIm, wILI Lenderness und Lerror, wILI compussIon und devoLed
udmIruLIon, und buL IILLIe quesLIoned wIeLIer Ie In LIe IeusL reLurned my IeeIIng.
TIuL Ie never dId - uI, no! ¡n LIe noLe ussIgnIng IIs skeLcIes und journuIs LIere Is expressed
u IrIendIy, objecLIve, ¡ mIgIL uImosL suy u grucIous conIIdence, cerLuInIy IonourubIe Lo me, u be-
IIeI In my conscIenLIousness, IoyuILy, und scrupuIous cure. BuL Iove? WIom Iud LIIs mun Ioved?
Once u womun, perIups. A cIIId, uL LIe IusL, IL muy be. A cIurmIng LrIIIer und wInner oI IeurLs,
wIom LIen, probubIy jusL becuuse Ie IncIIned Lo IIm, Ie senL uwuy - Lo IIs deuLI. To wIom Iud
Ie opened IIs IeurL, wIomever Iud Ie udmILLed InLo IIs IIIe? WILI AdrIun LIuL dId noL Iuppen.
Humun devoLIon Ie uccepLed, ¡ wouId sweur oILen unconscIousIy. HIs IndIIIerence wus so greuL
LIuL Ie wus IurdIy ever uwure wIuL wenL on ubouL IIm, wIuL compuny Ie wus In. TIe IucL LIuL Ie
very seIdom uddressed by nume LIe person Ie spoke wILI mukes me conjecLure LIuL Ie dId noL
know LIe nume, LIougI LIe mun Iud every reuson Lo suppose Ie dId. ¡ mIgIL compure IIs
ubsenLness Lo un ubyss, InLo wIIcI one's IeeIIng Lowurds IIm dropped soundIess und wILIouL u
Lruce. AII ubouL IIm wus coIdness - und Iow do ¡ IeeI, usIng LIIs word, wIIcI Ie IImseII, In un
uncunny connecLIon, once uIso seL down? ¡IIe und experIence cun gIve Lo sIngIe syIIubIes un
uccenL uLLerIy dIvorcIng LIem Irom LIeIr common meunIng und IendIng LIem un uuru oI Iorror,
wIIcI nobody undersLunds wIo Ius noL Ieurned LIem In LIuL uwIuI conLexL.

CHAPTIR II
My nume Is Serenus ZeILbIom, PI.D. ¡ depIore LIe exLruordInury deIuy In InLroducIng myseII,
buL LIe IILerury nuLure oI my muLerIuI Ius prevenLed me Irom comIng Lo LIe poInL unLII now. My
uge Is sIxLy, Ior ¡ wus born A.D. 188¸, LIe eIdesL oI Iour broLIers und sIsLers, uL KuIsersuscIern on
LIe SuuIe, In LIe dIsLrIcL oI Merseburg. ¡n LIe sume Lown IL wus LIuL ¡everküIn Loo spenL IIs
scIooI-duys; LIus ¡ cun posLpone u more deLuIIed descrIpLIon unLII ¡ come Lo LIem. SInce
uILogeLIer my personuI IIIe wus very mucI InLerwoven wILI LIuL oI LIe MeIsLer, IL wIII be weII Lo
speuk oI LIem boLI LogeLIer, Lo uvoId LIe error oI geLLIng uIeud oI my sLory - wIIcI, wIen LIe
IeurL Is IuII, Lends Lo be LIe cuse.
OnIy so mucI musL be seL down Ior LIe nonce, LIuL IL wus In LIe modesL runk oI u semI-
proIessIonuI mIddIe cIuss LIuL ¡ cume InLo LIe worId. My IuLIer, WoIIgemuL ZeILbIom, wus un
upoLIecury, LIougI LIe IIrsL In LIe Lown, Ior LIe oLIer pIurmucy In KuIsersuscIern never enjoyed
LIe sume pubIIc conIIdence us LIe ZeILbIom sIop oI LIe "BIessed Messengers" und Iud uL uII
LImes u Iurd sLruggIe uguInsL IL. Our IumIIy beIonged Lo LIe smuII CuLIoIIc communILy oI LIe
Lown, LIe mujorILy oI ILs popuIuLIon oI course beIng oI LIe ¡uLIerun conIessIon. ¡n purLIcuIur my
moLIer wus u pIous duugILer oI LIe CIurcI, puncLuuIIy IuIIIIIIng Ier reIIgIous duLIes, wIereus my
IuLIer, probubIy Irom Iuck oI LIme, wus Iuxer In LIem, wILIouL In LIe IeusL denyIng IIs soIIdurILy,
wIIcI Indeed Iud uIso ILs poIILIcuI beurIng, wILI LIe communILy oI IIs IuILI. ¡L wus remurkubIe
LIuL besIdes our prIesL, EccI. CouncIIIor ZwIIIIng, LIe rubbI oI LIe pIuce, Dr. CurIebucI by nume,
used uIso Lo vIsIL us In our Iome ubove LIe sIop und IuboruLory, und LIuL, In ProLesLunL Iouses,
wouId noL Iuve been eusy. TIe mun oI LIe Romun CIurcI mude LIe beLLer uppeurunce. BuL ¡
Iuve reLuIned LIe ImpressIon, bused prIncIpuIIy, ¡ suppose, upon LIIngs my IuLIer suId, LIuL LIe
IILLIe Iong-beurded, cup-weurIng TuImudIsL Iur surpussed IIs coIIeugue oI unoLIer IuILI In
IeurnIng und reIIgIous peneLruLIon. ¡L muy be LIe resuIL oI LIIs youLIIuI experIence, buL uIso
becuuse oI LIe keen-scenLed recepLIvILy oI JewIsI cIrcIes Ior ¡everküIn's work; buL ¡ Iuve never,
precIseIy In LIe JewIsI probIem und LIe wuy IL Ius been deuIL wILI, been ubIe Lo ugree IuIIy wILI
our ¡üIrer und IIs puIudIns; und LIIs IucL wus noL wILIouL InIIuence on my resIgnuLIon Irom LIe
LeucIIng sLuII Iere. CerLuInIy specImens oI LIe ruce Iuve uIso crossed my puLI - ¡ need onIy
LIInk oI LIe prIvuLe scIoIur BreIsucIer In MunIcI, on wIose dIsmuyIngIy unsympuLIeLIc
cIurucLer ¡ propose In LIe proper pIuce Lo cusL some IIgIL.
As Ior my CuLIoIIc orIgIn, IL dId oI course mouId und InIIuence my Inner mun. YeL LIuL IIIeIong
Impress never resuILed In uny conIIIcL wILI my IumunIsLIc uLLILude In generuI, my Iove oI LIe
"IIberuI urLs" us one used Lo cuII LIem. BeLween LIese Lwo eIemenLs oI my personuIILy LIere
reIgned un unbroken Iurmony, sucI us Is eusIIy preserved II IIke me one Ius grown up wILIIn LIe
Irume oI "oId-worId" surroundIngs wIose memorIes und monumenLs reucI buck InLo pre-
scIIsmuLIc LImes, buck InLo u worId oI unILy In CIrIsL. True, KuIsersuscIern IIes In LIe mIdsL oI
LIe nuLIve Iome oI LIe ReIormuLIon, In LIe IeurL oI ¡uLIerIund. ¡L Is LIe regIon oI cILIes wILI LIe
numes oI EIsIeben, WILLenberg, QuedIInburg, IIkewIse GrImmu, WoIIenbuLLeI und EIsenucI -
uII, uguIn, rIcI wILI meunIng Ior LIe Inner IIIe oI LIe ¡uLIerun ¡everküIn und IInked wILI LIe
dIrecLIon IIs sLudIes orIgInuIIy Look, LIe LIeoIogIcuI one. BuL ¡ IIke Lo compure LIe ReIormuLIon
Lo u brIdge, wIIcI Ieuds noL onIy Irom scIoIusLIc LImes Lo our worId oI Iree LIougIL, buL uIso und
equuIIy buck InLo LIe MIddIe Ages, or perIups even IurLIer, us u CIrIsLIun-CuLIoIIc LrudILIon oI u
serene Iove oI cuILure, unLoucIed by cIurcIIy scIIsm. ¡or my purL ¡ IeeI very LruIy uL Iome In
LIuL goIden spIere wIere one cuIIed LIe HoIy VIrgIn 1otis clmc pcrens.
BuL Lo conLInue wILI LIe mosL IndIspensubIe IucLs In my titc: my purenLs uIIowed me Lo uLLend
our gymnusIum, LIe sume scIooI wIere, Lwo Iorms beIow me, AdrIun wus LuugIL. ¡ounded In LIe
second IuII oI LIe IIILeenLI cenLury, IL Iud unLII very recenLIy borne LIe nume oI "ScIooI oI LIe
BreLIren oI LIe Common ¡IIe," IInuIIy cIunged ouL oI emburrussmenL uL LIe Loo IIsLorIcuI und
Ior LIe modern eur sIIgILIy comIc sound oI LIIs nume. TIey now cuIIed LIemseIves uILer LIe
neIgIbourIng CIurcI oI SL. BonIIuce. WIen ¡ IeIL scIooI, uL LIe begInnIng oI LIe presenL cenLury,
¡ Lurned wILIouL IesILuLIon Lo LIe sLudy oI LIe cIussIc Longues, In wIIcI LIe scIooIboy Iud
uIreudy sIown u cerLuIn proIIcIency. ¡ uppIIed myseII Lo LIem uL LIe unIversILIes oI GIessen, Jenu,
¡eIpzIg und Irom 1qoq Lo 1qo6 uL HuIIe, uL LIe sume LIme - und LIuL noL by cIunce - us
¡everküIn uIso sLudIed LIere.
Here, us so oILen, ¡ cunnoL IeIp dweIIIng on LIe Inwurd, LIe uImosL mysLerIous connecLIon oI
LIe oId pIIIoIogIcuI InLeresL wILI u IIveIy und IovIng sense oI LIe beuuLy und dIgnILy oI reuson In
LIe Iumun beIng. TIe bond Is expressed In LIe IucL LIuL we gIve Lo LIe sLudy oI LIe uncIenL
Longues LIe nume oI LIe humcniorc, LIe menLuI co-ordInuLIon oI Iunguuge und LIe pussIon Ior
LIe IumunILIes Is crowned by LIe Ideu oI educuLIon, und LIus LIe eIecLIon oI u proIessIon us LIe
sIuper oI youLI IoIIows uImosL oI ILseII ouL oI IuvIng cIosen pIIIoIogy us u sLudy. TIe mun oI LIe
scIences und prucLIcuI uIIuIrs cun oI course be u LeucIer Loo; buL never In LIe sume sense or Lo LIe
sume exLenL us IIs IeIIow oI LIe bonce literce. And LIuL oLIer, perIups more InLense, buL
sLrungeIy InurLIcuIuLe Iunguuge, LIuL oI Lones - II one muy so desIgnuLe musIc - does noL seem
Lo me Lo be IncIuded In LIe pedugogIc-IumunIsLIc spIere, uILIougI ¡ weII know LIuL In Greek
educuLIon und uILogeLIer In LIe pubIIc IIIe oI LIe polls IL pIuyed un uncIIIury roIe. RuLIer, IL seems
Lo me, In uII ILs supposedIy IogIcuI und moruI uusLerILy, Lo beIong Lo u worId oI LIe spIrIL Ior
wIose ubsoIuLe reIIubIIILy In LIe LIIngs oI reuson und Iumun dIgnILy ¡ wouId noL jusL cure Lo puL
my Iund In LIe IIre. TIuL ¡ um even so IeurLIIy uIIecLed Lo IL Is one oI LIose conLrudIcLIons wIIcI,
Ior beLLer or worse, ure InsepurubIe Irom Iumun nuLure.
TIIs Is u murgInuI noLe. And yeL noL so murgInuI; sInce IL Is very perLInenL Lo my LIeme, Indeed
onIy Loo mucI so, Lo InquIre wIeLIer u cIeur und cerLuIn IIne cun be druwn beLween LIe nobIe
pedugogIc worId oI LIe mInd und LIuL worId oI LIe spIrIL wIIcI one upproucIes onIy uL one's
perII. WIuL spIere oI Iumun endeuvour, even LIe mosL unuIIoyed, LIe mosL dIgnIIIed und
benevoIenL, wouId be enLIreIy InuccessIbIe Lo LIe InIIuence oI LIe powers oI LIe underworId, yes,
one musL udd, quILe IndependenL oI LIe need oI IruILIuI conLucL wILI LIem? TIIs LIougIL, noL
unbecomIng even In u mun wIose personuI nuLure IIes remoLe Irom everyLIIng duemonIc, Ius
remuIned Lo me Irom cerLuIn momenLs oI LIuL yeur und u IuII spenL by me In vIsILIng ¡LuIy und
Greece, my good purenLs IuvIng mude LIe journey possIbIe uILer ¡ Iud pussed my sLuLe
exumInuLIons. WIen Irom LIe AcropoIIs ¡ Iooked down upon LIe Sucred Wuy on wIIcI LIe
InILIuLes murcIed, udorned wILI LIe suIIron bund, wILI LIe nume oI ¡uccIus on LIeIr IIps; uguIn,
wIen ¡ sLood uL LIe pIuce oI InILIuLIon ILseII, In LIe dIsLrIcL oI EubuIus uL LIe edge oI LIe PIuLonIun
cIeIL overIung by rocks, ¡ experIenced by dIvInuLIon LIe rIcI IeeIIng oI IIIe wIIcI expresses ILseII
In LIe InILIuLe veneruLIon oI OIympIc Greece Ior LIe deILIes oI LIe depLIs; oILen, IuLer on, ¡
expIuIned Lo my pupIIs LIuL cuILure Is In very LruLI LIe pIous und reguIuLIng, ¡ mIgIL suy
propILIuLory enLrunce oI LIe durk und uncunny InLo LIe servIce oI LIe gods.
ReLurned Irom LIIs journey, LIe LwenLy-IIve-yeur-oId mun Iound u posILIon In LIe IIgI scIooI
oI IIs nuLIve Lown, wIere Ie Iud receIved IIs own educuLIon. TIere, Ior some yeurs, ¡ ussumed by
modesL sLuges LIe LeucIIng In ¡uLIn, Greek, und uIso IIsLory, unLII, LIuL Is, LIe LweIILI yeur oI LIe
presenL cenLury, uL wIIcI LIme ¡ enLered LIe servIce oI LIe BuvurIun DepurLmenL oI EducuLIon
und moved Lo ¡reIsIng. ¡ Look up my ubode LIere us proIessor In LIe gymnusIum und uIso us
docenL In LIe LIeoIogIcuI semInury, In LIe Lwo IIeIds, und Ior more LIun Lwo decudes enjoyed u
suLIsIyIng ucLIvILy.
QuILe eurIy, soon uILer my uppoInLmenL uL KuIsersuscIern, ¡ murrIed: need Ior reguIurILy und
desIre Ior u proper esLubIIsImenL In IIIe Ied me Lo LIe sLep. HeIene, born OeIIuIen, my exceIIenL
wIIe, wIo sLIII uccompunIes my decIInIng yeurs, wus LIe duugILer oI un oIder coIIeugue uL
ZwIckuu In Suxony. AL LIe rIsk oI mukIng LIe reuder smIIe ¡ wIII conIess LIuL LIe CIrIsLIun nume
oI LIe buddIng gIrI, HeIene, LIose beIoved syIIubIes, pIuyed noL LIe IeusL consIderubIe roIe In my
cIoIce. SucI u nume meuns u consecruLIon, Lo ILs pure encIunLmenL one cunnoL IuII Lo respond,
even LIougI LIe ouLwurd uppeurunce oI LIe beurer correspond Lo ILs IoILy cIuIms onIy Lo u modesL
mIddIe-cIuss exLenL und even LIuL buL Ior u LIme, sInce LIe cIurms oI youLI ure IIeeLIng. And our
duugILer, wIo Iong sInce murrIed u good mun, munuger uL LIe Regensburg bruncI oI LIe
BuvurIun SecurILIes und ExcIunge Bunk, we uIso cuIIed HeIene. BesIdes Ier my deur wIIe
presenLed me wILI Lwo sons, so LIuL ¡ Iuve enjoyed LIe due Lo IumunILy oI LIe joys und sorrows
oI puLernILy, II wILIIn moderuLe IImILs. None oI my cIIIdren ever possessed u cIIIdIood
IoveIIness even upproucIIng LIuL oI IILLIe Nepomuk ScIneIdeweIn, AdrIun's nepIew und IuLer
IdoI - ¡ myseII wouId be LIe IusL Lo suy so. Toduy my Lwo sons serve LIeIr ¡üIrer, LIe one In cIvII
IIIe, LIe oLIer wILI LIe urmed Iorces; us my posILIon oI uIooIness vIs-u-vIs LIe uuLIorILIes oI LIe
¡uLIerIund Ius mude me somewIuL IsoIuLed, LIe reIuLIons oI LIese Lwo young men wILI LIe quIeL
puLernuI Iome musL be cuIIed unyLIIng buL InLImuLe.

CHAPTIR III
TIe ¡everküIns cume oI u sLock oI superIor Iund-workers und smuII Iurmers, wIIcI IIourIsIed
purLIy In LIe ScImuIkuIden regIon und purLIy In LIe provInce oI Suxony, uIong LIe SuuIe. AdrIun's
own IumIIy Iud been seLLIed Ior severuI generuLIons uL BucIeI, u Iurm beIongIng Lo LIe vIIIuge
communILy oI OberweIIer, neur WeIssenIeIs, wIence one wus IeLcIed by wugon uILer u LIree-
quurLers-Iour journey by LruIn Irom KuIsersuscIern. BucIeI wus u properLy oI u sIze
correspondIng Lo LIe ownersIIp oI u Leum und cuLLIe; IL wus u good IIILy ucres oI meudow und
pIougIed Iund, wILI communuI rIgILs Lo LIe udjoInIng mIxed woodIund und u very comIorLubIe
wood und Irume dweIIIng-Iouse on u sLone IounduLIon. WILI LIe IoILs und sLuIIs IL Iormed un
open squure In LIe cenLre oI wIIcI sLood u never-Lo-be-IorgoLLen uncIenL IInden Lree oI u mIgILy
growLI. ¡L Iud u cIrcuIur green bencI round IL und In June IL wus covered wILI gIorIousIy IrugrunL
bIossoms. TIe beuuLIIuI Lree muy Iuve been u IILLIe In LIe wuy oI LIe LruIIIc In LIe courLyurd: ¡
Iuve Ieurd LIuL eucI IeIr In Lurn In IIs young yeurs, on prucLIcuI grounds, uIwuys muInLuIned
uguInsL IIs IuLIer's veLo LIuL IL ougIL Lo be cuL down; onIy one duy, IuvIng succeeded Lo LIe
properLy, Lo proLecL IL In LIe sume wuy Irom IIs own son.
Very oILen musL LIe IInden Lree Iuve sIuded LIe InIunL sIumbers und cIIIdIood pIuy oI IILLIe
AdrIun, wIo wus born, In LIe bIossom-LIme oI 188¸, In LIe upper sLorey oI LIe BucIeI Iouse, LIe
second son oI LIe ¡everküIn puIr, JonuLIun und EIsbeLI. HIs broLIer, George, now Iong sInce
LIe musLer oI BucIeI, wus IIve yeurs IIs senIor. A sIsLer, UrseI, IoIIowed uILer un equuI InLervuI.
My purenLs beIonged Lo LIe cIrcIe oI IrIends und ucquuInLunces oI LIe ¡everküIns In
KuIsersuscIern und LIe Lwo IumIIIes Iud Iong been on purLIcuIurIy cordIuI Lerms. TIus we spenL
muny u Sunduy uILernoon In LIe good LIme oI yeur uL LIe Iurm, wIere LIe Lown-dweIIers
gruLeIuIIy purLook oI LIe good cIeer oI LIe counLrysIde wILI wIIcI ¡ruu ¡everküIn reguIed LIem:
LIe gruIny durk breud wILI IresI buLLer, LIe goIden Ioney In LIe comb, LIe deIIcIous sLruwberrIes
In creum, LIe curds In bIue bowIs sprInkIed wILI bIuck breud-crumbs und sugur. ¡n AdrIun's eurIy
cIIIdIood - Ie wus cuIIed AdrI LIen - IIs grundpurenLs suL wILI us sLIII, LIougI now reLIred, LIe
busIness beIng enLIreIy In LIe Iunds oI LIe younger generuLIon. TIe oId mun, wIIIe mosL
respecLIuIIy IIsLened Lo, Look purL onIy uL LIe evenIng meuI und urgued wILI IIs LooLIIess mouLI.
OI LIese eurIIer owners, wIo dIed uL ubouL LIIs LIme, ¡ Iuve IILLIe memory. So mucI LIe more
cIeurIy sLunds beIore my eyes LIe pIcLure oI LIeIr cIIIdren JonuLIun und EIsbeLI ¡everküIn,
uILIougI IL Loo Ius seen ILs cIunges und In LIe course oI my boyIood, my scIooIboy, und my
sLudenL yeurs gIIded over, wILI LIuL ImpercepLIbIe eIIecLIveness LIme knows so weII, Irom LIe
youLIIuI pIuse InLo one murked by LIe pussIveness oI uge.
JonuLIun ¡everküIn wus u mun oI LIe besL Germun Lype, sucI us one seIdom sees now In our
Lowns und cILIes, cerLuInIy noL umong LIose wIo Loduy, oILen wILI bIuLunL exuggeruLIon, repre-
senL our Germun munIood. He Iud u cusL oI IeuLures sLumped us IL were In un eurIIer uge, sLored
up In LIe counLry und come down Irom LIe LIme beIore LIe TIIrLy Yeurs' Wur. TIuL Ideu cume
InLo my Ieud wIen us u growIng Iud ¡ Iooked uL IIm wILI eyes uIreudy IuII-wuy LruIned Ior
seeIng. UnkempL usI-bIond IuIr IeII on u domed brow sLrongIy murked In Lwo dIsLIncL purLs, wILI
promInenL veIns on LIe LempIes; Iung unIusIIonubIy Iong und LIIck In IIs neck und round LIe
smuII, weII-sIuped eurs, Lo mIngIe wILI LIe curIIng bIond beurd LIuL covered LIe cIIn und LIe
IoIIow under LIe IIp. TIIs Iower IIp cume ouL ruLIer sLrong und IuII under LIe sIorL, sIIgILIy
droopIng mousLucIe, wILI u smIIe wIIcI mude u mosL cIurmIng Iurmony wILI LIe bIue eyes, u
IILLIe severe, buL u IILLIe smIIIng Loo, LIeIr guze IuII ubsenL und IuII sIy. TIe brIdge oI LIe nose
wus LIIn und IIneIy Iooked, LIe unbeurded purL oI LIe cIeeks under LIe cIeekbones sIudowed
und even ruLIer guunL. He wore IIs sInewy LIrouL uncovered und Iud no Iove Ior "cILy cIoLIes,"
wIIcI dId noL suIL IIs Iooks, purLIcuIurIy noL IIs Iunds, LIose powerIuI, browned und purcIed,
ruLIer IreckIed Iunds, one oI wIIcI grusped LIe crook oI IIs sLIck wIen Ie wenL InLo LIe vIIIuge
Lo Lown meeLIng.
A pIysIcIun mIgIL Iuve uscrIbed LIe veIIed eIIorL In IIs guze, u cerLuIn sensILIveness uL LIe
LempIes, Lo mIgruIne; und JonuLIun dId In IucL suIIer Irom IeuducIes, LIougI moderuLeIy, noL
oILener LIun once u monLI und uImosL wILIouL IIndrunce Lo IIs work. He Ioved IIs pIpe, u IuII-
IengLI porceIuIn one wILI u IId, wIose odour oI pIpe Lobucco, pecuIIur Lo ILseII und Iur pIeusunLer
LIun LIe sLuIe smoke oI cIgur or cIgureLLe, pervuded LIe uLmospIere oI LIe Iower rooms. He Ioved
Loo us u nIgIL-cup u good mug oI Merseburg beer. On wInLer evenIngs, wIen LIe Iund oI IIs
IuLIers Iuy under snow, you suw IIm reudIng, preIerubIy In u buIky IumIIy BIbIe, bound In
pressed pIgskIn und cIosed wILI IeuLIer cIusps; IL Iud been prInLed ubouL 1;oo under LIe ducuI
IIcence In BrunswIck, und IncIuded noL onIy LIe "Geistreichen" preIuces und murgInuI commenLs
oI Dr. MurLIn ¡uLIer buL uIso uII sorLs oI summurIes, locos pcrcllelos, und IIsLorIcuI-moruIIzIng
verses by u Herr DuvId von ScIweInILz expIuInIng eucI cIupLer. TIere wus u Iegend ubouL LIIs
voIume; or ruLIer LIe deIInILe InIormuLIon ubouL IL wus Iunded down, LIuL IL Iud been LIe
properLy oI LIuL PrIncess oI BrunswIck-WoIIenbIILLeI wIo murrIed LIe son oI PeLer LIe GreuL.
AILerwurds LIey guve ouL LIuL sIe Iud dIed, und Ier IuneruI Look pIuce, buL ucLuuIIy sIe escuped
Lo MurLInIque und LIere murrIed u ¡rencImun. How oILen dId AdrIun, wILI IIs keen sense oI LIe
rIdIcuIous, IuugI wILI me IuLer over LIIs LuIe, wIIcI IIs IuLIer, IIILIng IIs Ieud Irom IIs book,
wouId reIuLe wILI IIs mIId, peneLruLIng Iook und LIen, obvIousIy unperLurbed by LIe sIIgILIy
scunduIous provenunce oI LIe sucred LexL, reLurn Lo LIe versIIIed commenLurIes oI Herr von
ScIweInILz or LIe "WIsdom oI SoIomon Lo LIe TyrunLs."
BuL uIongsIde LIe reIIgIous cusL IIs reudIng Look unoLIer dIrecLIon, wIIcI In cerLuIn LImes
wouId Iuve been cIurucLerIzed us wunLIng Lo "specuIuLe LIe eIemenLs." ¡n oLIer words, Lo u
IImILed exLenL und wILI IImILed meuns, Ie currIed on sLudIes In nuLuruI scIence, bIoIogy, even
perIups In cIemIsLry und pIysIcs, IeIped ouL occusIonuIIy by my IuLIer wILI muLerIuI Irom our
IuboruLory. BuL ¡ Iuve cIosen LIuL unLIquuLed und noL IrreproucIubIe descrIpLIon Ior sucI
prucLIces becuuse u LInge oI mysLIcIsm wus percepLIbIe In LIem, wIIcI wouId once Iuve been
suspecL us u IeunIng Lo LIe bIuck urLs. BuL ¡ wIII udd, Loo, LIuL ¡ Iuve never mIsundersLood LIIs
dIsLrusL IeIL by u reIIgIous und spIrILuuI-mInded epocI Ior LIe rIsIng pussIon Lo InvesLIguLe LIe
mysLerIes oI nuLure. GodIy Ieur musL see In IL u IIberLIne LruIIIc wILI IorbIdden LIIngs, despILe LIe
obvIous conLrudIcLIon InvoIved In regurdIng LIe CreuLIon, God, NuLure und ¡IIe us u moruIIy
depruved IIeId. NuLure ILseII Is Loo IuII oI obscure pIenomenu noL uILogeLIer remoLe Irom mugIc
- equIvocuI moods, weIrd, IuII-IIdden ussocIuLIons poInLIng Lo LIe unknown - Ior u dIscIpIIned
pIeLy noL Lo see LIereIn u rusI oversLeppIng oI orduIned IImILs.
WIen AdrIun's IuLIer opened cerLuIn books wILI IIIusLruLIons In coIour oI exoLIc IepIdopLeru
und seu creuLures, we Iooked uL LIem, IIs sons und ¡, ¡ruu ¡everküIn us weII, over LIe buck oI IIs
IeuLIer-cusIIoned cIuIr wILI LIe eur-resLs; und Ie poInLed wILI IIs IoreIInger uL LIe Ireuks und
IuscInuLIons LIere dIspIuyed In cll the coIours oI LIe specLrum, Irom durk Lo IIgIL, musLered und
modeIIed wILI LIe IIgIesL LecInIcuI skIII: genus PupIIIo und genus MorpIo, LropIcuI InsecLs
wIIcI enjoyed u brIeI exIsLence In IunLusLIcuIIy exuggeruLed beuuLy, some oI LIem regurded by
LIe nuLIves us evII spIrILs brIngIng muIurIu. TIe mosL spIendId coIour LIey dIspIuyed, u dreumIIke
IoveIy uzure, wus, so JonuLIun InsLrucLed us, no Lrue coIour uL uII, buL produced by IIne IILLIe Iur-
rows und oLIer surIuce conIIguruLIons oI LIe scuIes on LIeIr wIngs, u mInIuLure consLrucLIon
resuILIng Irom urLIIIcIuI reIrucLIon oI LIe IIgIL ruys und excIusIon oI mosL oI LIem so LIuL onIy LIe
puresL bIue IIgIL reucIed LIe eyes.
"JusL LIInk," ¡ cun sLIII Ieur ¡ruu ¡everküIn suy, "so IL Is uII u cIeuL?"
"Do you cuII LIe bIue sky u cIeuL?" unswered Ier Iusbund IookIng up buckwurds uL Ier. "You
cunnoL LeII me LIe pIgmenL IL comes Irom."
¡ seem us ¡ wrILe Lo be sLundIng wILI ¡ruu EIsbeLI, George, und AdrIun beIInd LIeIr IuLIer's
cIuIr, IoIIowIng IIs IInger ucross LIe pIcLured puges. CIeurwIngs were LIere depIcLed wIIcI Iud
no scuIes on LIeIr wIngs, so LIuL LIey seemed deIIcuLeIy gIussy und onIy sIoL LIrougI wILI u neL
oI durk veIns. One sucI buLLerIIy, In LrunspurenL nudILy, IovIng LIe duskIness oI Ieuvy IeuIuge,
wus cuIIed Hetcerc esmercldc. HeLueru Iud on Ier wIngs onIy u durk spoL oI vIoIeL und rose; one
couId see noLIIng eIse oI Ier, und wIen sIe IIew sIe wus IIke u peLuI bIown by LIe wInd. TIen
LIere wus LIe IeuI buLLerIIy, wIose wIngs on Lop ure u LrIpIe cIord oI coIour, wIIIe underneuLI
wILI Insune exucLILude LIey resembIe u IeuI, noL onIy In sIupe und veInIng buL In LIe mInuLe
reproducLIon oI smuII ImperIecLIons, ImILuLIon drops oI wuLer, IILLIe wurLs und junçus çrouths
und more oI LIe IIke. WIen LIIs cIever creuLure uIIgILs umong LIe Ieuves und IoIds ILs wIngs, it
discppecrs by cdcptction so enLIreIy LIuL LIe IungrIesL enemy cunnoL muke IL ouL.
NoL wILIouL success dId JonuLIun seek Lo communIcuLe Lo us IIs deIIgIL In LIIs proLecLIve
ImILuLIon LIuL wenL so Iur us Lo copy bIemIsIes. "How Ius LIe creuLure done IL?" Ie wouId usk.
"How does NuLure do IL LIrougI LIe creuLure? ¡or one cunnoL uscrIbe LIe LrIck Lo ILs own
observuLIon und cuIcuIuLIon. Yes, yes, NuLure knows Ier IeuI precIseIy: knows noL onIy ILs
perIecLIon buL uIso ILs smuII usuuI bIunders und bIemIsIes; mIscIIevousIy or benevoIenLIy sIe
repeuLs ILs ouLwurd uppeurunce In unoLIer spIere, on LIe under sIde oI LIIs Ier buLLerIIy, Lo
buIIIe oLIers oI Ier creuLures. BuL wIy Is IL jusL LIIs one LIuL proIILs by LIe cunnIng? And II IL Is
ucLuuIIy on purpose LIuL wIen resLIng IL Iooks jusL IIke u IeuI, wIuL Is LIe udvunLuge, Iooked uL
Irom LIe poInL oI vIew oI ILs Iungry pursuers, LIe IIzurds, bIrds, und spIders, Ior wIIcI sureIy IL Is
meunL Ior Iood? YeL wIen IL so wIIIs, Iowever keen LIeIr sIgIL LIey cunnoL muke IL ouL. ¡ um
uskIng LIuL In order LIuL you muy noL usk me."
TIIs buLLerIIy, LIen, proLecLed ILseII by becomIng InvIsIbIe. BuL one onIy needed Lo Iook IurLIer
on In LIe book Lo IInd oLIers wIIcI uLLuIned LIe sume end by beIng sLrIkIngIy, Iur-reucIIngIy
vIsIbIe. NoL onIy were LIey excepLIonuIIy Iurge buL uIso coIoured und puLLerned wILI unusuuI
gorgeousness; und ¡uLIer ¡everküIn LoId us LIuL In LIIs uppurenLIy cIuIIengIng gurb LIey IIew
ubouL In perIecL securILy. You couId noL cuII LIem cIeeky, LIere wus someLIIng uImosL puLIeLIc
ubouL LIem; Ior LIey never IId, yeL never un unImuI - noL upe or bIrd or IIzurd - Lurned ILs Ieud
Lo Iook uL LIem. WIy? Becuuse LIey were revoILIng. And becuuse LIey udverLIsed LIe IucL by LIeIr
sLrIkIng beuuLy und LIe sIuggIsIness oI LIeIr IIIgIL. TIeIr secreLIons were so IouI Lo LusLe und
smeII LIuL II ever uny creuLure mIsLukenIy LIougIL one oI LIem wouId do IIm good Ie soon spuL IL
ouL wILI every sIgn oI dIsgusL. BuL uII nuLure knows LIey ure InedIbIe, so LIey ure suIe - LrugIcuIIy
suIe. We uL IeusL, beIInd JonuLIun's cIuIr, usked ourseIves wIeLIer LIIs securILy Iud noL
someLIIng dIsgruceIuI ubouL IL, ruLIer LIun beIng u cuuse Ior rejoIcIng. And wIuL wus LIe
consequence? TIuL oLIer kInds oI buLLerIIy LrIcked LIemseIves ouL In LIe sume IorbIddIng
spIendour und IIew wILI LIe sume Ieuvy IIIgIL, unLoucIubIe uILIougI perIecLIy edIbIe.
¡ wus InIecLed by AdrIun's mIrLI over LIIs InIormuLIon; Ie IuugIed LIII Ie sIook IIs sIdes, und
Leurs squeezed ouL oI IIs eyes, und ¡ Iud Lo IuugI Loo, rIgIL IeurLIIy. BuL ¡uLIer ¡everküIn
IusIed us; Ie wIsIed uII LIese muLLers Lo be regurded wILI reverence, LIe sume uwe, und sense,
oI mysLery wILI wIIcI Ie Iooked uL LIe unreudubIe wrILIng on LIe sIeIIs oI cerLuIn musseIs,
LukIng IIs greuL squure reudIng-gIuss Lo IeIp IIm und IeLLIng us Lry Loo. CerLuInIy LIe Iook oI
LIese creuLures, LIe seu-snuIIs und suIL-wuLer musseIs, wus equuIIy remurkubIe, uL IeusL wIen one
Iooked uL LIeIr pIcLures under JonuLIun's guIdunce. AII LIese wIndIngs und vuuILIngs, execuLed In
spIendId perIecLIon, wILI u sense oI Iorm us boId us IL wus deIIcuLe, LIese rosy openIngs, LIese
IrIdescenL IuIence spIendours - uII LIese were LIe work oI LIeIr own jeIIyIIke proprIeLors. AL IeusL
on LIe LIeory LIuL NuLure mukes ILseII, und IeuvIng LIe CreuLor ouL. TIe concepLIon oI HIm us un
InspIred cruILsmun und umbILIous urLIsL oI LIe orIgInuI poLLery works Is so IunLusLIc LIuL LIe
LempLuLIon IIes cIose Lo Iund - nowIere cIoser - Lo InLroduce un InLermedIuLe deILy, LIe
DemIurge. WeII, us ¡ wus suyIng, LIe IucL LIuL LIese prIceIess IubILuLIons were LIe work oI LIe
very moIIusc wIIcI LIey sIeILered wus LIe mosL usLonIsIIng LIIng ubouL LIem.
"As you grew," suId JonuLIun Lo us, "und you cun eusIIy prove IL by IeeIIng your eIbows und
rIbs, you Iormed In your InsIdes u soIId sLrucLure, u skeIeLon wIIcI gIves your IIesI und muscIes
sLubIIILy, und wIIcI you curry round InsIde you - unIess IL be more correcL Lo suy IL currIes you
uround. Here IL Is jusL LIe oLIer wuy: LIese creuLures Iuve puL LIeIr soIId sLrucLure ouLsIde, noL
us Irumework buL us Iouse, und LIuL IL Is un ouLsIde und noL un InsIde musL be LIe very reuson Ior
ILs beuuLy."
We boys, AdrIun und ¡, Iooked uL eucI oLIer, IuII-smIIIng, IuII Luken ubuck uL sucI remurks
Irom IIs IuLIer us LIIs ubouL LIe vunILy oI uppeurunces.
SomeLImes IL wus even muIIgnunL, LIIs ouLwurd beuuLy: cerLuIn conIcuI snuIIs, cIurmIngIy
usymmeLrIc specImens buLIed In u veIned puIe rose or wIILe-spoLLed Ioney brown, Iud u
noLorIousIy poIsonous sLIng. AILogeLIer, uccordIng Lo LIe musLer oI BucIeI, u cerLuIn III Iume, u
IunLusLIc umbIguILy, uLLucIed Lo LIIs wIoIe exLruordInury IIeId. A sLrunge umbIvuIence oI opInIon
Iud uIwuys beLruyed ILseII In LIe very vurIous uses Lo wIIcI LIe IInesL specImens were puL. ¡n LIe
MIddIe Ages LIey Iud beIonged Lo LIe sLundIng InvenLory oI LIe wILcIes' kILcIen und uIcIemIsL's
vuuIL: LIey were consIdered LIe proper vesseIs Ior poIsons und Iove poLIons. On LIe oLIer Iund,
und uL LIe sume LIme, LIey Iud served us sIrInes und reIIquurIes und even Ior LIe EucIurIsL.
WIuL u conIronLuLIon wus LIere! - poIson und beuuLy, poIson und mugIc, even mugIc und rILuuI.
¡I we dId noL LIInk oI uII LIuL ourseIves, yeL JonuLIun's commenLs guve us u vugue sense oI IL.
As Ior LIe IIerogIypIs wIIcI so puzzIed IIm, LIese were on u mIddIe-sIzed sIeII, u musseI Irom
New CuIedonIu: sIIgILIy reddIsI-brown cIurucLers on u wIILe ground. TIey Iooked us LIougI
LIey were mude wILI u brusI, und round LIe rIm becume pureIy ornumenLuI sLrokes; buL on LIe
Iurger purL oI LIe curved surIuce LIeIr cureIuI compIexILy Iud LIe mosL dIsLIncL Iook oI expIunu-
Lory remurks. ¡n my recoIIecLIon LIey sIowed sLrong resembIunce Lo uncIenL OrIenLuI wrILIngs,
Ior InsLunce LIe oId ArumuIc ductus. My IuLIer Iud ucLuuIIy brougIL urcIueoIogIcuI works Irom
LIe noL III-provIded Lown IIbrury oI KuIsersuscIern Lo gIve IIs IrIend LIe opporLunILy Ior
compurIson und sLudy. TIere Iud been, oI course, no resuIL, or onIy sucI conIusIon und
ubsurdILy us cume Lo noLIIng. WILI u cerLuIn meIuncIoIy JonuLIun udmILLed IL wIen Ie sIowed
us LIe rIddIIng reproducLIon. "¡L Ius Lurned ouL Lo be ImpossIbIe," Ie suId, "Lo geL uL LIe meunIng
oI LIese murks. UnIorLunuLeIy, my deurs, sucI Is LIe cuse. TIey reIuse LIemseIves Lo our
undersLundIng, und wIII, puInIuIIy enougI, conLInue Lo do so. BuL wIen ¡ suy reIuse, LIuL Is
mereIy LIe neguLIve oI reveuI - und LIuL NuLure puInLed LIese cIpIers, Lo wIIcI we Iuck LIe key,
mereIy Ior ornumenL on LIe sIeII oI Ier creuLure, nobody cun persuude me. OrnumenL und
meunIng uIwuys run uIongsIde eucI oLIer; LIe oId wrILIngs Loo served Ior boLI ornumenL und
communIcuLIon. Nobody cun LeII me LIuL LIere Is noLIIng communIcuLed Iere. TIuL IL Is un
InuccessIbIe communIcuLIon, Lo pIunge InLo LIIs conLrudIcLIon, Is uIso u pIeusure."
DId Ie LIInk, II IL were reuIIy u cuse oI secreL wrILIng, LIuL NuLure musL commund u Iunguuge
born und orgunIzed ouL oI Ier own seII? ¡or wIuL mun-InvenLed one sIouId sIe cIoose, Lo ex-
press IerseII In? BuL even us u boy ¡ cIeurIy undersLood LIuL NuLure, ouLsIde oI LIe Iumun ruce, Is
IundumenLuIIy IIIILeruLe - LIuL In my eyes Is precIseIy wIuL mukes Ier uncunny.
Yes, ¡uLIer ¡everküIn wus u dreumer und specuIuLor, und ¡ Iuve uIreudy suId LIuL IIs LusLe Ior
reseurcI - II one cun speuk oI reseurcI InsLeud oI mere dreumy conLempIuLIon - uIwuys Ieuned
In u cerLuIn dIrecLIon - numeIy, LIe mysLIcuI or un InLuILIve IuII-mysLIcuI, InLo wIIcI, us IL seems
Lo me, Iumun LIInkIng In pursuIL oI NuLure Is uImosL oI necessILy Ied. BuL LIe enLerprIse oI
experImenLIng on NuLure, oI LeusIng Ier InLo munIIesLuLIons, "LempLIng" Ier, In LIe sense oI
IuyIng bure Ier workIngs by experImenL; LIuL uII LIIs Iud quILe cIose reIuLIons wILI wILcIcruIL,
yes, beIonged In LIuL reuIm und wus ILseII u work oI LIe "TempLer," sucI wus LIe convIcLIon oI
eurIIer epocIs. ¡L wus u decenL convIcLIon, II you were Lo usk me. ¡ sIouId IIke Lo know wILI wIuL
eyes one wouId Iuve Iooked on LIe mun Irom WILLenberg wIo, us we Ieurd Irom JonuLIun, u
Iundred und some yeurs beIore Iud InvenLed LIe experImenL oI vIsIbIe musIc, wIIcI we were
someLImes permILLed Lo see. To LIe smuII umounL oI pIysIcuI uppuruLus wIIcI AdrIun's IuLIer
Iud uL IIs commund beIonged u round gIuss pIuLe, resLIng onIy on u peg In LIe cenLre und re-
voIvIng IreeIy. On LIIs gIuss pIuLe LIe mIrucIe Look pIuce. ¡L wus sLrewn wILI IIne sund, und
JonuLIun, by meuns oI un oId ceIIo bow wIIcI Ie drew up und down LIe edge Irom Lop Lo boLLom
mude IL vIbruLe, und uccordIng Lo ILs moLIon LIe excILed sund grouped und urrunged ILseII In
usLonIsIIngIy precIse und vurIed IIgures und urubesques. TIIs vIsIbIe ucousLIc, wIereIn LIe
sImpIe und LIe mysLerIous, Iuw und mIrucIe, so cIurmIngIy mIngIed, pIeused us Iuds exceedIngIy;
we oILen usked Lo see IL, und noL IeusL Lo gIve LIe experImenLer pIeusure.
A sImIIur pIeusure Ie Iound In Ice crysLuIs; und on wInLer duys wIen LIe IILLIe peusunL wIndows
oI LIe IurmIouse were IrosLed, Ie wouId be ubsorbed In LIeIr sLrucLure Ior IuII un Iour, IookIng
uL LIem boLI wILI LIe nuked eye und wILI IIs mugnIIyIng gIuss. ¡ sIouId IIke Lo suy LIuL uII LIuL
wouId Iuve been good und beIongIng Lo LIe reguIur order oI LIIngs II onIy LIe pIenomenu Iud
kepL Lo u symmeLrIcuI puLLern, us LIey ougIL, sLrIcLIy reguIur und muLIemuLIcuI. BuL LIuL LIey dId
noL. ¡mpudenLIy, decepLIveIy, LIey ImILuLed LIe vegeLubIe kIngdom: mosL preLLIIy oI uII, Iern
Ironds, grusses, LIe cuIyxes und coroIIus oI IIowers. To LIe uLmosL oI LIeIr Icy ubIIILy LIey dubbIed
In LIe orgunIc; und LIuL JonuLIun couId never geL over, nor ceuse IIs more or Iess dIsupprovIng
buL uIso udmIrIng sIukes oI LIe Ieud. DId, Ie InquIred, LIese pIunLusmugorIus preIIgure LIe
Iorms oI LIe vegeLubIe worId, or dId LIey ImILuLe LIem? NeILIer one nor LIe oLIer, Ie unswered
IImseII; LIey were puruIIeI pIenomenu. CreuLIveIy dreumIng NuLure dreumed Iere und LIere LIe.
sume dreum: II LIere couId be u LIougIL oI ImILuLIon, LIen sureIy IL wus recIprocuI. SIouId one
puL down LIe ucLuuI cIIIdren oI LIe IIeId us LIe puLLern becuuse LIey possessed orgunIc ucLuuIILy,
wIIIe LIe snow crysLuIs were mere sIow? BuL LIeIr uppeurunce wus LIe resuIL oI no smuIIer
compIexILy oI LIe ucLIon oI muLLer LIun wus LIuL oI LIe pIunLs. ¡I ¡ undersLood my IosL urIgIL,
LIen wIuL occupIed IIm wus LIe essenLIuI unILy oI unImuLe und so-cuIIed InunImuLe nuLure, IL
wus LIe LIougIL LIuL we sIn uguInsL LIe IuLLer wIen we druw Loo Iurd und IusL u IIne beLween LIe
Lwo IIeIds, sInce In reuIILy IL Is pervIous und LIere Is no eIemenLury cupucILy wIIcI Is reserved
enLIreIy Lo LIe IIvIng creuLure und wIIcI LIe bIoIogIsL couId noL uIso sLudy on un InunImuLe
subjecL.
We Ieurned Iow bewIIderIngIy LIe Lwo kIngdoms mImIc eucI oLIer, wIen ¡uLIer ¡everküIn
sIowed us LIe "devourIng drop," more LIun once gIvIng IL ILs meuI beIore our eyes. A drop oI uny
kInd, puruIIIn, voIuLIIe oII - ¡ no Ionger IeeI sure wIuL IL wus, IL muy Iuve been cIIoroIorm - u
drop, ¡ suy, Is noL unImuI, noL even oI LIe mosL prImILIve Lype, noL even un umoebu; one does noL
suppose LIuL IL IeeIs uppeLILe, seIzes nourIsImenL, keeps wIuL suILs IL, rejecLs wIuL does noL. BuL
jusL LIIs wus wIuL our drop dId. ¡L Iung by ILseII In u gIuss oI wuLer, wIereIn JonuLIun Iud sub
merged IL, probubIy wILI u dropper. WIuL Ie dId wus us IoIIows: Ie Look u LIny gIuss sLIck, jusL u
gIuss LIreud, wIIcI Ie Iud couLed wILI sIeIIuc, beLween LIe prongs oI u IILLIe puIr oI pIncers und
brougIL IL cIose Lo LIe drop. TIuL wus uII Ie dId; LIe resL LIe drop dId ILseII. ¡L LIrew up on ILs
surIuce u IILLIe proLuberunce, someLIIng IIke u mounL oI concepLIon, LIrougI wIIcI IL Look LIe
sLIck InLo ILseII, IengLIwIse. AL LIe sume LIme IL goL Ionger, becume peur-sIuped In order Lo geL ILs
prey uII In, so LIuL IL sIouId noL sLIck ouL beyond, und begun, ¡ gIve you my word Ior IL, gruduuIIy
growIng round uguIn, IIrsL by LukIng on un egg-sIupe, Lo euL oII LIe sIeIIuc und dIsLrIbuLe IL In ILs
body. TIIs done, und reLurned Lo ILs round sIupe, IL moved LIe sLIck, IIcked cIeun, crosswIse Lo ILs
own surIuce und ejecLed IL InLo LIe wuLer.
¡ cunnoL suy LIuL ¡ enjoyed seeIng LIIs, buL ¡ conIess LIuL ¡ wus IuscInuLed, und AdrIun probubIy
wus Loo, LIougI Ie wus uIwuys soreIy LempLed Lo IuugI uL sucI dIspIuys und suppressed IIs
IuugILer onIy ouL oI respecL Ior IIs IuLIer's gruvILy. TIe devourIng drop mIgIL conceIvubIy sLrIke
one us Iunny. BuL no one, cerLuInIy noL myseII, couId Iuve IuugIed uL cerLuIn oLIer pIenomenu,
"nuLuruI," yeL IncredIbIe und uncunny, dIspIuyed by ¡uLIer ¡ever-kIIIn. He Iud succeeded In
mukIng u mosL sInguIur cuILure; ¡ sIuII never IorgeL LIe sIgIL. TIe vesseI oI crysLuIIIzuLIon wus
LIree-quurLers IuII oI sIIgILIy muddy wuLer - LIuL Is, dIIuLe wuLer-gIuss - und Irom LIe sundy
boLLom LIere sLrove upwurds u groLesque IILLIe Iundscupe oI vurIousIy coIoured growLIs: u
conIused vegeLuLIon oI bIue, green, und brown sIooLs wIIcI remInded one oI uIguj, musIrooms,
uLLucIed poIyps, uIso moss, LIen musseIs, IruIL pods, IILLIe Lrees or LwIgs Irom Lrees, Iere und
LIere oI IImbs. ¡L wus LIe mosL remurkubIe sIgIL ¡ ever suw, und remurkubIe noL so mucI Ior ILs
uppeurunce, sLrunge und umuzIng LIougI LIuL wus, us on uccounL oI ILs proIoundIy meIuncIoIy
nuLure. ¡or wIen ¡uLIer ¡everküIn usked us wIuL we LIougIL oI IL und we LImIdIy unswered IIm
LIuL LIey mIgIL be pIunLs: "No," Ie repIIed, "LIey ure noL, LIey onIy ucL LIuL wuy. BuL do noL LIInk
LIe Iess oI LIem. PrecIseIy becuuse LIey do, becuuse LIey Lry Lo us Iurd us LIey cun, LIey ure
worLIy oI uII respecL."
¡L Lurned ouL LIuL LIese growLIs were enLIreIy unorgunIc In LIeIr orIgIn; LIey exIsLed by vIrLue
oI cIemIcuIs Irom LIe upoLIecury's sIop, LIe "BIessed Messengers." BeIore pourIng LIe wuLer-
gIuss, JonuLIun Iud sprInkIed LIe sund uL LIe boLLom wILI vurIous crysLuIs; II ¡ mIsLuke noL
poLussIum cIromuLe und suIpIuLe oI copper. ¡rom LIIs sowIng, us LIe resuIL oI u pIysIcuI process
cuIIed "osmoLIc pressure," LIere sprung LIe puLIeLIc crop Ior wIIcI LIeIr producer uL once und
urgenLIy cIuImed our sympuLIy. He sIowed us LIuL LIese puLIeLIc ImILuLIons oI IIIe were IIgIL-
seekIng, IeIIoLropIc, us scIence cuIIs IL. He exposed LIe uquurIum Lo LIe sunIIgIL, sIudIng LIree
sIdes uguInsL IL, und beIoId, Lowurd LIuL one pune LIrougI wIIcI LIe IIgIL IeII, LIILIer
sLruIgILwuy sIunLed LIe wIoIe equIvocuI kILI und kIn: musIrooms, pIuIIIc poIyp-sLuIks, IILLIe
Lrees, uIgue, IuII-Iormed IImbs. ¡ndeed, LIey so yeurned uILer wurmLI und joy LIuL LIey ucLuuIIy
cIung Lo LIe pune und sLuck IusL LIere.
"And even so LIey ure deud," suId JonuLIun, und Leurs cume In IIs eyes, wIIIe AdrIun, us oI
course ¡ suw, wus sIuken wILI suppressed IuugILer.
¡or my purL, ¡ musL Ieuve IL Lo LIe reuder's judgmenL wIeLIer LIuL sorL oI LIIng Is muLLer Ior
IuugILer or Leurs. BuL one LIIng ¡ wIII suy: sucI weIrdnesses ure excIusIveIy NuLure's own uIIuIr,
und purLIcuIurIy oI nuLure urrogunLIy LempLed by mun. ¡n LIe IIgI-mInded reuIms oI LIe
humcniorc one Is suIe Irom sucI ImpIsI pIenomenu.

CHAPTIR IV
SInce LIe IoregoIng secLIon Ius swoIIen ouL oI uII conscIence, ¡ sIuII do weII Lo begIn u new one,
Ior IL Is my purpose now Lo do Ionour Lo LIe Imuge oI LIe mIsLress oI BucIeI, AdrIun's deur
moLIer. GruLILude Ior u Iuppy cIIIdIood, In wIIcI LIe good LIIngs sIe guve us Lo euL pIuyed no
smuII purL, muy udd IusLre Lo my pIcLure oI Ier. BuL LruIy In uII my IIIe ¡ Iuve never seen u more
uLLrucLIve womun LIun EIsbeLI ¡everküIn. TIe reverence wILI wIIcI ¡ speuk oI Ier sImpIe,
InLeIIecLuuIIy uILogeLIer unussumIng person IIows Irom my convIcLIon LIuL LIe genIus oI LIe son
owed very mucI Lo IIs moLIer's vIgour und bIoom.
JonuLIun ¡everküIn's IIne oId-Germun Ieud wus uIwuys u joy Lo my eyes; buL LIey resLed wILI
no Iess deIIgIL on IIs wIIe's IIgure, so uILogeLIer pIeusunL IL wus, so IndIvIduuI und weII propor-
LIoned. SIe wus born neur ApoIdu, und Ier Lype wus LIuL bruneLLe one wIIcI Is someLImes Iound
umong us, even In regIons wIere LIere Is no deIInILe ground Lo suspecL Romun bIood. TIe
durkness oI Ier coIourIng, LIe bIuck IuIr, LIe bIuck eyes wILI LIeIr quIeL, IrIendIy guze, mIgIL
Iuve mude me Luke Ier Ior un ¡LuIIun were IL noL Ior u cerLuIn sLurdIness In LIe IucIuI sLrucLure. ¡L
wus u ruLIer sIorL ovuI, LIIs Iuce, wILI somewIuL poInLed cIIn, u noL very reguIur nose, sIIgILIy
IIuL und u IILLIe LIILed, und u LrunquII mouLI, neILIer voIupLuous nor severe. TIe IuIr IuII covered
LIe eurs, und us ¡ grew up IL wus sIowIy sIIverIng; IL wus druwn LIgILIy buck, us smooLI us gIuss,
und LIe purLIng ubove LIe brow IuId bure LIe wIILeness oI LIe skIn beneuLI. Even so, noL uIwuys,
und so probubIy unInLenLIonuIIy, some Ioose sLrunds Iung cIurmIngIy down In IronL oI LIe eurs.
TIe bruId, In our cIIIdIood sLIII u mussIve one, wus LwIned peusunL-IusIIon round LIe buck oI LIe
Ieud und on IeusL-duys IL mIgIL be wound wILI u guy embroIdered rIbbon.
CILy cIoLIes were us IILLIe Lo Ier IIkIng us Lo Ier Iusbund's: LIe IudyIIke dId noL suIL Ier. On LIe
oLIer Iund, LIe cosLume oI LIe regIon, In wIIcI we knew Ier, becume Ier Lo u murveI: LIe Ieuvy
Iome-mude skIrL und u sorL oI LrImmed bodIce wILI u squure openIng IeuvIng bure LIe ruLIer
sIorL, sLurdy neck und LIe upper purL oI LIe breusL, wIere Iung u sImpIe goId ornumenL. TIe cu-
pubIe brown Iunds wILI LIe weddIng rIng on LIe rIgIL one were neILIer course nor IusLIdIousIy
cured Ior; LIey Iud, ¡ wouId suy, someLIIng so IumunIy rIgIL und responsIbIe ubouL LIem LIuL
one enjoyed LIe sIgIL oI LIem, us weII us LIe sIupeIy IeeL, wIIcI sLepped ouL IIrmIy, neILIer Loo
Iurge nor Loo smuII, In LIe eusy, Iow-IeeIed sIoes und LIe green or grey wooIIen sLockIngs wIIcI
spunned LIe neuL unkIes. AII LIIs wus pIeusunL Indeed. BuL LIe IInesL LIIng ubouL Ier wus Ier
voIce, In regIsLer u wurm mezzo-sopruno, und In speukIng, LIougI wILI u sIIgIL TIurIngIun
InIIexIon, quILe exLruordInurIIy wInnIng. ¡ do noL suy IIuLLerIng, becuuse LIe word seems Lo ImpIy
InLenLIon. TIe vocuI cIurm wus due Lo un InIerenLIy musIcuI LemperumenL, wIIcI, Iowever,
remuIned IuLenL, Ior EIsbeLI never LroubIed ubouL musIc, never so Lo speuk "proIessed" IL. SIe
mIgIL quILe cusuuIIy sLrum u Iew cIords on LIe oId guILur LIuL decoruLed LIe IIvIng-room wuII;
sIe mIgIL Ium LIIs or LIuL snuLcI oI song. BuL sIe never commILLed IerseII, never ucLuuIIy sung,
uILIougI ¡ wouId wuger LIuL LIere wus exceIIenL ruw muLerIuI LIere.
¡n uny cuse, ¡ Iuve never Ieurd unyone speuk more beuuLIIuIIy, LIougI wIuL sIe suId wus
uIwuys oI LIe sImpIesL und mosL muLLer-oI-IucL. And LIIs nuLIve, InsLIncLIve LusLe, LIIs Iurmony,
wus Irom LIe IIrsL Iour AdrIun's IuIIuby. To me LIuL meuns someLIIng, IL IeIps Lo expIuIn LIe
IncredIbIe eur wIIcI Is reveuIed In IIs work - even LIougI LIe objecLIon IIes Lo Iund LIuL IIs
broLIer George enjoyed LIe sume udvunLuge wILIouL uny InIIuence upon IIs IuLer IIIe. George
Iooked more IIke IIs IuLIer Loo, wIIIe AdrIun pIysIcuIIy resembIed LIe moLIer - LIougI uguIn
LIere Is u dIscrepuncy, Ior IL wus AdrIun, noL George, wIo InIerILed LIe Lendency Lo mIgruIne. BuL
LIe generuI IubIL oI my deceused IrIend, und even muny purLIcuIur LruILs: LIe bruneLLe skIn, LIe
sIupe oI eye, mouLI, und cIIn, uII LIuL cume Irom LIe moLIer's sIde. TIe IIkeness wus pIuIn us
Iong us Ie wus smooLI-sIuven, beIore Ie grew LIe Ieuvy beurd. TIuL wus onIy In IIs IuLLer yeurs;
IL uILered IIs Iooks very mucI. TIe pILcI-bIuck oI LIe moLIer's eyes Iud mIngIed wILI LIe IuLIer's
uzure bIue Lo u sIudowy bIue-grey-green IrIs wILI IILLIe meLuIIIc sprInkIes und u rusL-coIoured
rIng round LIe pupIIs. To me IL wus u moruI cerLuInLy LIuL LIe conLrusL beLween LIe eyes oI LIe
Lwo purenLs, LIe bIendIng oI Iers InLo IIs, wus wIuL Iormed IIs LusLe In LIIs respecL or ruLIer
mude IL wuver. ¡or never, uII IIs IIIe Iong, couId Ie decIde wIIcI, LIe bIuck or LIe bIue, Ie IIked
beLLer. YeL uIwuys IL wus LIe exLreme LIuL drew IIm: LIe very bIue, or eIse LIe pILcI-bIuck gIeum
beLween LIe IusIes.
¡ruu EIsbeLI's InIIuence on LIe Iunds uL BucIeI - noL very numerous suve uL IurvesL-LIme,
und LIen LIe neIgIbours cume In Lo IeIp - wus oI LIe very besL; II ¡ um rIgIL, Ier uuLIorILy
umong LIem wus greuLer LIun Ier Iusbund's. ¡ cun sLIII see LIe IIgures oI some oI LIem; Ior
InsLunce, LIuL oI TIomus, LIe osLIer, wIo used Lo IeLcI us Irom WeIssenIeIs und brIng us buck: u
one-eyed, exLruordInurIIy Iong und bony mun, wILI u sIIgIL Iump, on wIIcI Ie used Lo IeL IILLIe
AdrIun rIde; IL wus, LIe MeIsLer oILen LoId me IuLer, u mosL prucLIcuI und comIorLubIe seuL. And ¡
recuII LIe cowgIrI Hunne, wIose bosoms IIupped us sIe wuIked und wIose bure IeeL were uIwuys
cuked wILI dung. SIe und LIe boy AdrIun Iud u cIose IrIendsIIp, on grounds sLIII Lo be gone InLo
In deLuII. TIen LIere wus LIe duIrywomun ¡ruu ¡uder, u wIdow In u cup. Her Iuce wus seL In un
expressIon oI exuggeruLed dIgnILy, probubIy due Lo Ier renown us u mIsLress oI LIe urL oI mukIng
IIqueurs und curuwuy cIeese. ¡L wus sIe, II noL EIsbeLI IerseII, wIo Look us Lo LIe cow-sLuIIs,
wIere LIe mIIkmuId croucIed on Ier sLooI, und under Ier IIngers LIere run InLo our gIusses LIe
Iukewurm IoumIng mIIk, smeIIIng oI LIe good und useIuI unImuI LIuL guve IL.
AII LIIs deLuII, LIese memorIes oI our counLry worId oI cIIIdIood In ILs sImpIe seLLIng oI wood
und meudow, pond und IIII - ¡ wouId noL dweII upon LIem buL LIuL jusL LIey Iormed LIe eurIy
surroundIngs oI AdrIun up Lo IIs LenLI yeur. TIIs wus IIs purenLuI Iome, IIs nuLIve IeuLI, LIe
scene wIere Ie und ¡ so oILen cume LogeLIer. ¡L wus LIe LIme In wIIcI our du wus rooLed, LIe
LIme wIen Ie Loo musL Iuve cuIIed me by my CIrIsLIun nume. ¡ Ieur IL no more, buL IL Is
unLIInkubIe LIuL uL sIx or eIgIL yeurs Ie sIouId noL Iuve cuIIed me Serenus or sImpIy Seren jusL
us ¡ cuIIed IIm AdrI. TIe duLe cunnoL be IIxed, buL IL musL cerLuInIy Iuve been In our eurIy
scIooI-duys LIuL Ie ceused Lo besLow IL on me und used onIy my IusL nume InsLeud, LIougI IL
wouId Iuve seemed Lo me ImpossIbIy IursI Lo do LIe sume. TIus IL wus - LIougI ¡ wouId noL
Iuve IL Iook us LIougI ¡ wunLed Lo compIuIn. YeL IL seemed Lo me worLI menLIon LIuL ¡ cuIIed IIm
AdrIun; Ie on LIe oLIer Iund, wIen Ie dId noL uILogeLIer uvoId uII uddress, cuIIed me ZeILbIom.
- ¡eL us noL dweII on LIe odd cIrcumsLunce, wIIcI becume second nuLure Lo me, buL drop IL und
reLurn Lo BucIeI.
HIs IrIend, und mIne Loo, wus LIe yurd dog, Suso. TIe beurer oI LIIs sInguIur nume wus u
ruLIer mungy seLLer. WIen one brougIL Ier Ier Iood sIe used Lo grIn ucross Ier wIoIe Iuce, buL
sIe wus by no meuns good-nuLured Lo sLrungers, und Ied LIe unnuLuruI IIIe oI u dog cIuIned uII
duy Lo ILs kenneI und onIy IeL Iree Lo roum LIe courL uL nIgIL. TogeLIer AdrIun und ¡ Iooked InLo
LIe IIILIy IuddIe In LIe pIgsLy und recuIIed LIe oId wIves' LuIes we Iud Ieurd ubouL LIese muddy
suckIIngs wILI LIe IurLIve wIILe-eyeIusIed IILLIe bIue eyes und LIe IuL bodIes so IIke In coIour Lo
Iumun IIesI: Iow LIese unImuIs dId someLImes ucLuuIIy devour smuII cIIIdren. We Iorced our
vocuI cIords Lo ImILuLe LIe LIrouLy grunL oI LIeIr Iunguuge und wuLcIed LIe rosy snouLs oI LIe
IILLer uL LIe dugs oI LIe sow. TogeLIer we IuugIed uL LIe Iens beIInd LIe wIre oI LIe cIIcken-
Iouse: LIey uccompunIed LIeIr IuLuous ucLIvILIes by u dIgnIIIed gubbIIng, breukIng ouL onIy now
und LIen InLo IysLerIcuI squuwks. We vIsILed LIe beeIIves beIInd LIe Iouse, buL kepL our
dIsLunce, knowIng uIreudy LIe LIrobbIng puIn cuused by LIese busy creuLures wIen one oI LIem
bIundered uguInsL your nose und deIended ILseII wILI ILs sLIng.
¡ remember LIe kILcIen gurden und LIe currunL busIes wIose Iuden sLems we drew LIrougI
our IIps; LIe meudow sorreI we nIbbIed; cerLuIn wIId-IIowers Irom wIose LIrouLs we sucked LIe
drop oI IIne necLur; LIe ucorns we cIewed, IyIng on our bucks In LIe wood; LIe purpIe, sun-
wurmed bIuckberrIes we uLe Irom LIe wuysIde busIes Lo quencI our cIIIdIsI LIIrsL wILI LIeIr
sIurp juIce. We were cIIIdren - uI, IL Is noL on my own uccounL buL on IIs LIuL ¡ um moved us ¡
Iook buck, uL LIe LIougIL oI IIs IuLe, und Iow Irom LIuL vuIe oI Innocence Ie wus Lo mounL up Lo
InIospILubIe, yes, uwIuI IeIgILs. ¡L wus LIe IIIe oI un urLIsL; und becuuse IL wus gIven Lo me, u
sImpIe mun, Lo see IL uII so cIose by, uII LIe IeeIIngs oI my souI Ior Iumun IoL und IuLe were
concenLruLed ubouL LIIs unIque specImen oI IumunILy. TIunks Lo my IrIendsIIp wILI AdrIun, IL
sLunds Lo me Ior LIe puLLern oI Iow desLIny sIupes LIe souI, Ior LIe cIussIc, umuzIng InsLunce oI
LIuL wIIcI we cuII becomIng, deveIopmenL, evoIuLIon - und ucLuuIIy IL muy be jusL LIuL. ¡or
LIougI LIe urLIsL muy uII IIs IIIe remuIn cIoser, noL Lo suy Lruer, Lo IIs cIIIdIood LIun LIe mun
LruIned Ior prucLIcuI IIIe, uILIougI one muy suy LIuL Ie, unIIke LIe IuLLer, ubIdes In LIe dreumy,
pureIy Iumun und pIuyIuI cIIIdIIke sLuLe, yeL IIs puLI ouL oI IIs sImpIe, unuIIecLed begInnIngs Lo
LIe undIvIned IuLer sLuges oI IIs course Is endIessIy IurLIer, wIIder, more sIuLLerIng Lo wuLcI
LIun LIuL oI LIe ordInury cILIzen. WILI LIe IuLLer, Loo, LIe LIougIL LIuL Ie wus once u cIIId Is noL
neurIy so IuII oI Leurs.
¡ beg LIe reuder Lo puL down enLIreIy Lo my own uccounL LIe IeeIIngs Iere expressed und noL
uscrIbe LIem Lo ¡everküIn. ¡ um un oId-IusIIoned mun wIo Ius sLuck by cerLuIn romunLIc
noLIons deur Lo me, one oI wIIcI Is LIe IIgIIy subjecLIvIzIng conLrusL ¡ IeeI beLween LIe nuLure oI
LIe urLIsL und LIuL oI LIe ordInury mun. AdrIun - II Ie Iud Iound IL worLI LIe LroubIe - wouId
Iuve coIdIy conLrudIcLed sucI u vIew. He Iud exLremeIy neuLruI vIews ubouL urL und urLIsLs; Ie
reucLed so wILIerIngIy Lo LIe "romunLIc LrIpe" wIIcI LIe worId In ILs IoIIy Iud been pIeused Lo
uLLer on LIe subjecL LIuL Ie even dIsIIked LIe words "urL" und "urLIsL," us Ie sIowed In IIs Iuce
wIen Ie Ieurd LIem. ¡L wus LIe sume wILI LIe word "InspIruLIon." ¡L Iud Lo be uvoIded In IIs
compuny und "ImugInuLIon" used, II necessury, InsLeud. He IuLed LIe word, Ie jeered uL IL - und
wIen ¡ LIInk oI LIuL IuLred und LIose jeers, ¡ cunnoL IeIp IIILIng my Iund Irom LIe bIoLLer over
my puge, Lo cover my eyes. ¡or IIs IuLred und mockery were Loo LormenLed Lo be u mereIy
objecLIve reucLIon Lo LIe InLeIIecLuuI movemenLs oI LIe LIme. TIougI LIey were objecLIve Loo; ¡
recuII LIuL once, even us u sLudenL, Ie suId Lo me LIuL LIe nIneLeenLI cenLury musL Iuve been un
uncommonIy pIeusunL epocI, sInce IL Iud never been Iurder Ior IumunILy Lo Leur ILseII uwuy
Irom LIe opInIons und IubILs oI LIe prevIous perIod LIun IL wus Ior LIe generuLIon now IIvIng.
¡ reIerred ubove Lo LIe pond wIIcI Iuy onIy Len mInuLes uwuy Irom LIe Iouse, surrounded by
pusLure. ¡L wus cuIIed LIe Cow TrougI, probubIy becuuse oI ILs obIong sIupe und becuuse LIe
cows cume LIere Lo drInk. TIe wuLer, wIy ¡ do noL know, wus unusuuIIy coId, so LIuL we couId
onIy buLIe In IL In LIe uILernoon wIen LIe sun Iud sLood on IL u Iong LIme. As Ior LIe IIII, IL wus u
IuvourILe wuIk oI IuII un Iour: u IeIgIL cuIIed, cerLuInIy Irom oId duys und mosL InupproprIuLeIy,
MounL ZIon. ¡n LIe wInLer IL wus good Ior cousLIng, buL ¡ wus seIdom LIere. ¡n summer, wILI LIe
communILy bencI beneuLI LIe ouk Lrees crownIng ILs summIL, IL wus un uIry sILe wILI u good
vIew, und ¡ oILen enjoyed IL wILI LIe ¡everküIn IumIIy beIore supper on Sunduy uILernoons.
And now ¡ IeeI consLruIned Lo commenL us IoIIows: LIe Iouse und ILs surroundIngs In wIIcI
AdrIun IuLer us u muLure mun seLLIed down wIen Ie Look up permunenL quurLers wILI LIe
ScIweIgesLIIIs uL PIeIIIerIng neur WuIdsIuL In Oberbuyern - Indeed, LIe wIoIe seLLIng - were u
mosL exLruordInury IIkeness und reproducLIon oI IIs cIIIdIood Iome; In oLIer words, LIe scene
oI IIs IuLer duys bore u curIous resembIunce Lo LIuL oI IIs eurIy ones. NoL onIy dId LIe envIrons oI
PIeIIIerIng (or PIeIIerIng, Ior LIe speIIIng vurIes) Iuve u IIII wILI u communILy bencI, LIougI IL
wus noL cuIIed MounL ZIon, buL LIe RoImbüIeI; noL onIy wus LIere u pond, uL somewIuL LIe
sume dIsLunce Irom LIe Iouse us LIe Cow TrougI, Iere cuIIed LIe KIummer pond, LIe wuLer oI
wIIcI wus sLrIkIngIy coId. No, Ior even LIe Iouse, LIe courLyurd, und LIe IumIIy ILseII were uII
very IIke LIe BucIeI seLLIng. ¡n LIe yurd wus u Lree, uIso ruLIer In LIe wuy und preserved Ior
senLImenLuI reusons - noL u IIme Lree, buL un eIm. True, cIurucLerIsLIc dIIIerences exIsLed
beLween LIe sLrucLure oI LIe ScIweIgesLIII Iouse und LIuL oI AdrIun's purenLs, Ior LIe Iormer wus
un oId cIoIsLer, wILI LIIck wuIIs, deep-vuuILed cusemenLs, und ruLIer dunk pussuges. BuL LIe
odour oI pIpe Lobucco pervuded LIe uIr oI LIe Iower rooms us IL dId uL BucIeI; und LIe owner und
IIs wIIe, Herr und ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, were u IuLIer und u moLIer Loo; LIuL Is, LIey were u Iong-
Iuced, ruLIer IuconIc, quIeL, und conLempIuLIve Iurmer und IIs no Ionger young wIIe, wIo Iud
cerLuInIy puL on IIesI buL wus weII-proporLIoned, IIveIy, energeLIc, und cupubIe, wILI IuIr
smooLIed LIgILIy buck und sIupeIy Iunds und IeeL. TIey Iud u grown son und IeIr, Gereon (noL
George), u young mun very progressIve In ugrIcuILuruI muLLers, uIwuys LIInkIng ubouL new
mucIInery, und u IuLer-born duugILer numed CIemenLIne. TIe yurd dog In PIeIIIerIng couId
IuugI, even LIougI Ie wus noL cuIIed Suso, buL KuscIperI - uL IeusL orIgInuIIy. ¡or LIe bourder
Iud IIs own Ideus ubouL LIIs "orIgInuIIy" und ¡ wus u wILness oI LIe process by wIIcI under IIs
InIIuence LIe nume KuscIperI becume sIowIy u memory und LIe dog IImseII unswered beLLer Lo
Suso. TIere wus no second son, wIIcI ruLIer sLrengLIened LIe cuse LIun oLIerwIse, Ior wIo
wouId LIIs second son Iuve been?
¡ never spoke Lo AdrIun ubouL LIIs wIoIe sInguIur und very obvIous puruIIeI. ¡ dId noL do so In
LIe begInnIng, und IuLer ¡ no Ionger wunLed Lo. ¡ never cured Ior LIe pIenomenon. TIIs cIoIce oI
u pIuce Lo IIve, reproducIng LIe eurIIesL one, LIIs buryIng oneseII In one's eurIIesL, ouLIIved
cIIIdIood, or uL IeusL In LIe ouLer cIrcumsLunces oI LIe sume - IL mIgIL IndIcuLe uLLucImenL, buL
In uny cuse IL Is psycIoIogIcuIIy dIsLurbIng. ¡n ¡everküIn IL wus LIe more so sInce ¡ never
observed LIuL IIs LIes wILI LIe purenLuI Iome were purLIcuIurIy cIose or emoLIonuI, und Ie sev-
ered LIem eurIy -wILIouL observubIe puIn. Wus LIuL urLIIIcIuI "reLurn" sImpIy u wIIm? ¡ cunnoL
LIInk so. ¡nsLeud IL remInds me oI u mun oI my ucquuInLunce wIo, LIougI ouLwurdIy robusL und
even beurded, wus so IIgIIy sLrung LIuL wIen Ie wus III - und Ie IncIIned Lo IIInesses - Ie
wIsIed Lo be LreuLed onIy by u cIIId-specIuIIsL. Moreover LIe docLor Lo wIom Ie wenL wus so
smuII In person LIuL u prucLIce Ior grown peopIe wouId obvIousIy noL Iuve been suILubIe und Ie
couId onIy Iuve become u pIysIcIun Ior cIIIdren. ¡ ougIL Lo suy uL once LIuL ¡ um uwure oI
dIsgressIng In LeIIIng LIIs unecdoLe ubouL LIe mun wILI LIe cIIId-specIuIIsL, In so Iur us neILIer oI
LIem wIII uppeur In LIIs nurruLIve. ¡I LIuL Is un error, und wIIIe wILIouL doubL IL wus un error Lo
yIeId Lo LIe LempLuLIon Lo brIng In PIeIIIerIng und LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs beIore LIeIr LIme, ¡ wouId
ImpIore LIe reuder Lo uLLrIbuLe sucI IrreguIurILIes Lo LIe excILemenL wIIcI Ius possessed me
sInce ¡ begun LIIs bIogrupIy, und Lo LeII LIe LruLI noL onIy us ¡ wrILe. ¡ Iuve been workIng now Ior
severuI duys on LIese puges; buL LIougI ¡ Lry Lo keep my senLences buIunced und IInd IILLIng
expressIon Ior my LIougILs, LIe reuder musL noL ImugIne LIuL ¡ do noL IeeI myseII In u sLuLe oI
permunenL excILemenL, wIIcI even expresses ILseII In u sIukIness In my IundwrILIng, usuuIIy so
IIrm. ¡ even beIIeve, noL onIy LIuL LIose wIo reud me wIII In LIe Iong run undersLund LIIs nervous
perLurbuLIon, buL uIso LIuL LIey LIemseIves wIII In LIme noL be sLrunge Lo IL.
¡ IorgoL Lo menLIon LIuL LIere wus In LIe ScIweIgesLIII courLyurd, AdrIun's IuLer Iome, und
cerLuInIy noL surprIsIngIy, u sLubIe-gIrI, wILI bosoms LIuL sIook us sIe run und bure IeeL cuked
wILI dung; sIe Iooked us mucI IIke Hunne oI BucIeI us one sLubIe-gIrI does Iook IIke unoLIer,
und In LIe reproducLIon wus numed WuILpurgIs. Here, Iowever, ¡ um noL speukIng oI Ier buL oI
Ier proLoLype Hunne, wILI wIom IILLIe AdrIun sLood on u IrIendIy IooLIng becuuse sIe Ioved Lo
sIng und used Lo do IILLIe exercIses wILI us cIIIdren. OddIy enougI, LIougI EIsbeLI ¡everküIn,
wILI Ier IoveIy voIce, reIruIned, In u sorL oI cIusLe reserve, Irom song, LIIs creuLure smeIIIng oI
Ier unImuIs mude Iree wILI IL, und sung Lo us IusLIIy, oI evenIngs on LIe bencI under LIe IInden
Lree. SIe Iud u sLrIdenL voIce, buL u good eur; und sIe sung uII sorLs oI popuIur Lunes, songs oI LIe
urmy und LIe sLreeL; LIey were mosLIy eILIer gruesome or muwkIsI und we soon mude Lunes und
words our own. WIen we sung wILI Ier, sIe uccompunIed us In LIIrds, und Irom LIere wenL
down Lo LIe Iower IIILI und Iower sIxLI und IeIL us In LIe LrebIe, wIIIe sIe osLenLuLIousIy und
predomInunLIy sung LIe second. And probubIy Lo IIx our uLLenLIon und muke us properIy vuIue
LIe IurmonIc enjoymenL, sIe used Lo sLreLcI Ier mouLI und IuugI jusL IIke Suso LIe dog wIen
we brougIL Ier Ier Iood.
By we ¡ meun AdrIun, myseII, und George, wIo wus uIreudy LIIrLeen wIen IIs broLIer und ¡
were eIgIL und Len yeurs oId. ¡ILLIe sIsLer UrseI wus Loo smuII Lo Luke purL In LIese exercIses, und
moreover, oI us Iour probubIy one wus superIIuous In LIe kInd oI vocuI musIc Lo wIIcI Hunne
eIevuLed our IusLy sIouLIngs. SIe LuugIL us, LIuL Is, Lo sIng rounds - oI course, LIe ones LIuL cIII-
dren know besL: D, uie uohl ist mir cm Abend, Es tonen die Lieder, und LIe one ubouL LIe
cuckoo und LIe uss; und LIose LwIIIgIL Iours In wIIcI we enjoyed LIem remuIn In my memory -
or ruLIer LIe memory oI LIem IuLer Look on u IeIgILened sIgnIIIcunce becuuse IL wus LIey, so Iur
us ¡ know, LIuL IIrsL brougIL my IrIend InLo conLucL wILI u "musIc" somewIuL more urLIsLIcuIIy
orgunIzed LIun LIuL oI mere unIson songs. Here wus u successIon oI InLerweuvIng voIces und
ImILuLIve enLrIes, Lo wIIcI one wus roused by u poke In LIe rIbs Irom LIe sLubIe-gIrI Hunne wIen
LIe song wus uIreudy In progress; wIen LIe Lune Iud goL Lo u cerLuIn poInL buL wus noL yeL uL LIe
end. TIe meIodIc componenLs presenLed LIemseIves In dIIIerenL Iuyers, buL no jungIe or
conIusIon ensued, Ior LIe ImILuLIon oI LIe IIrsL pIruse by LIe second sInger IILLed ILseII very
pIeusunLIy poInL Ior poInL Lo LIe conLInuuLIon sung by LIe IIrsL. BuL II LIIs IIrsL purL - In LIe cuse
oI LIe pIece D, uie uohl ist mir cm Abend - Iud reucIed LIe repeuLed "Gloclen lcuten" und
begun LIe IIIusLruLIve "DIng-dung-dong," IL now Iormed LIe buss noL onIy Lo "Wenn zur Ruh',"
wIIcI LIe second voIce wus jusL LIen sIngIng, buL uIso Lo LIe begInnIng "D, uie wohl" wILI wIIcI,
consequenL on u IresI nudge In LIe rIbs, LIe LIIrd sInger enLered, onIy Lo be reIIeved, wIen, be
Iud reucIed LIe second sLuge oI LIe meIody, by LIe IIrsL sLurLIng uguIn uL LIe begInnIng, IuvIng
surrendered Lo LIe second us LIe IundumenLuI buss LIe descrIpLIve "DIng-dung-dong" - und so
on. TIe IourLI sInger InevILubIy coIncIded wILI one oI LIe oLIers, buL Ie LrIed Lo enIIven LIe
doubIIng by rourIng un ocLuve beIow, or eIse Ie begun beIore LIe IIrsL voIce, so Lo speuk beIore
LIe duwn wILI LIe IundumenLuI beII-IIgure und IndeIuLIgubIy und cIeerIuIIy currIed on wILI IL or
LIe Iu, Iu, Iu LIuL guIIy pIuys round LIe eurIIer sLuges oI LIe meIody durIng LIe wIoIe duruLIon oI
LIe song.
¡n LIIs wuy we were uIwuys sepuruLe Irom eucI oLIer In LIme, buL LIe meIodIc presence oI eucI
kepL LogeLIer pIeusunLIy wILI LIuL oI LIe oLIers und wIuL we produced mude u gruceIuI web, u
body oI sound sucI us unIson sIngIng dId noL; u LexLure In wIose poIypIony we deIIgILed
wILIouL InquIrIng uILer ILs nuLure und cuuse. Even LIe eIgIL- or nIne-yeur-oId AdrIun probubIy
dId noL noLIce. Or dId LIe sIorL IuugI, more mockIng LIun surprIsed, wIIcI Ie guve wIen LIe IusL
"DIng-dong" Iuded on LIe uIr und wIIcI ¡ cume IuLer Lo know so weII - dId IL meun LIuL Ie suw
LIrougI LIe devIce oI LIese IILLIe songs, wIIcI quILe sImpIy consIsLs In LIuL LIe begInnIng oI LIe
meIody subsequenLIy Iorms LIe second voIce und LIuL LIe LIIrd cun serve boLI us buss? None oI
us wus uwure LIuL Iere, Ied by u sLubIe-gIrI, we were movIng on u pIune oI musIcuI cuILure uIreudy
reIuLIveIy very IIgI, In u reuIm oI ImILuLIve poIypIony, wIIcI LIe IIILeenLI cenLury Iud Iud Lo
dIscover In order Lo gIve us pIeusure. BuL wIen ¡ LIInk buck uL AdrIun's IuugI, ¡ IInd In reLrospecL
LIuL IL dId Iuve In IL someLIIng oI knowIedge und mockIng InILIuLe sense. He kepL IL us Ie grew
up; ¡ oILen Ieurd IL, sILLIng wILI IIm In LIeuLre or concerL-IuII, wIen Ie wus sLruck by some urLIuI
LrIck, some IngenIous devIce wILIIn LIe musIcuI sLrucLure, noLIced onIy by LIe Iew; or by some
IIne psycIoIogIcuI uIIusIon In LIe dIuIogue oI u drumu. ¡n LIe begInnIng IL wus unsuILubIe Ior IIs
yeurs, beIng jusL us u grown person wouId Iuve IuugIed: u sIIgIL expuIsIon oI uIr Irom nose und
mouLI, wILI u Loss oI LIe Ieud uL LIe sume LIme, sIorL, cooI, yes, conLempLuous, or uL mosL us
LIougI Ie wouId suy: "Good, LIuL; droII, curIous, umusIng!" BuL IIs eyes were LukIng IL In, LIeIr
guze wus uIur und sLrunge, und LIeIr durkness, meLuI-sprInkIed, Iud puL on u deeper sIude.

CHAPTIR V
TIe cIupLer jusL IInIsIed Is uIso, Ior my LusLe, mucI Loo exLended. ¡L wouId seem onIy Loo
udvIsubIe Lo InquIre Iow LIe reuder's puLIence Is IoIdIng ouL. To myseII, oI course every word ¡
wrILe Is oI burnIng InLeresL; buL wIuL cure musL ¡ Luke noL Lo see LIIs us u guurunLee oI LIe
sympuLIy oI LIe deLucIed reuder! And cerLuInIy ¡ musL noL IorgeL LIuL ¡ um wrILIng Ior posLerILy;
noL Ior LIe momenL, nor Ior reuders wIo us yeL know noLIIng oI ¡everküIn und so cunnoL Iong Lo
know more ubouL IIm. WIuL ¡ do Is Lo prepure LIese puges Ior u LIme wIen LIe condILIons Ior
pubIIc InLeresL wIII be quILe dIIIerenL, und cerLuInIy mucI more IuvourubIe; wIen curIosILy ubouL
LIe deLuIIs oI so LIrIIIIng un exIsLence, Iowever weII or III presenLed, wIII be more euger und Iess
IusLIdIous.
TIuL LIme wIII come. Our prIson, so wIde und yeL so nurrow, so suIIocuLIngIy IuII oI IouI uIr, wIII
some duy open. ¡ meun wIen LIe wur now rugIng wIII Iuve Iound, one wuy or LIe oLIer, ILs end -
und Iow ¡ sIudder uL LIIs "one wuy or LIe oLIer," boLI Ior myseII und Ior LIe uwIuI Impusse InLo
wIIcI IuLe Ius crowded LIe Germun souI! ¡or ¡ Iuve In mInd onIy one oI LIe Lwo uILernuLIves:
onIy wILI LIIs one do ¡ reckon, counLIng upon IL uguInsL my conscIence us u Germun cILIzen. TIe
never-endIng pubIIc InsLrucLIon Ius Impressed on us In uII ILs Iorrors LIe crusIIng consequences
oI u Germun deIeuL; we cunnoL IeIp IeurIng IL more LIun unyLIIng eIse In LIe worId. And yeL
LIere Is someLIIng eIse - some oI us Ieur IL uL momenLs wIIcI seem Lo us crImInuI, buL oLIers
quILe IrunkIy und sLeudIIy - someLIIng we Ieur more LIun Germun deIeuL, und LIuL Is Germun
vIcLory. ¡ scurceIy dure usk myseII Lo wIIcI oI LIese groups ¡ beIong. PerIups Lo sLIII u LIIrd, In
wIIcI one yeurns Indeed, sLeudIIy und conscIousIy, Ior deIeuL, yeL uIso wILI perpeLuuI LormenLs oI
conscIence. My wIsIes und Iopes musL oppose LIe LrIumpI oI Germun urms, becuuse In IL LIe
work oI my IrIend wouId be burIed, u bun wouId resL upon IL Ior perIups u Iundred yeurs, IL
wouId be IorgoLLen, wouId mIss ILs own uge und onIy In u IuLer one receIve IIsLorIc Ionour. TIuL
Is LIe specIuI moLIvuLIon oI my crImInuI uLLILude; ¡ sIure IL wILI u scuLLered number oI men wIo
cun eusIIy be counLed on LIe IIngers oI my Lwo Iunds. BuL my menLuI sLuLe Is onIy u vurIunL oI
LIuL wIIcI, usIde Irom cuses oI ordInury seII-InLeresL or exLruordInury sLupIdILy, Ius become LIe
desLIny oI u wIoIe peopIe; und LIIs desLIny ¡ um IncIIned Lo consIder In LIe IIgIL oI u unIque und
pecuIIur Lrugedy, even wIIIe ¡ reuIIze LIuL IL Ius been beIore now IuId on oLIer nuLIons, Ior LIe
suke oI LIeIr own und LIe generuI IuLure, Lo wIsI Ior LIe downIuII oI LIeIr sLuLe. BuL consIderIng
LIe decency oI LIe Germun cIurucLer, ILs conIIdIngness, ILs need Ior IoyuILy und devoLIon, ¡ wouId
IuIn beIIeve LIun In our cuse LIe dIIemmu wIII come Lo u unIque concIusIon us weII; und ¡ cunnoL
buL cIerIsI u deep und sLrong resenLmenL uguInsL LIe men wIo Iuve reduced so good u peopIe Lo
u sLuLe oI mInd wIIcI ¡ beIIeve beurs Iur Iurder on IL LIun IL wouId on uny oLIer, esLrungIng IL
beyond IeuIIng Irom ILseII. ¡ Iuve onIy Lo ImugIne LIuL my own sons, LIrougI some unIucky
cIunce, becume ucquuInLed wILI LIe conLenLs oI LIese puges und In SpurLun denIuI oI every
genLIer IeeIIng denounced me Lo LIe secreL poIIce - Lo be ubIe Lo meusure, yes, ucLuuIIy wILI u
sorL oI puLrIoLIc prIde, LIe ubysmuI nuLure oI LIIs conIIIcL.
¡ um enLIreIy uwure LIuL wILI LIe ubove purugrupI ¡ Iuve uguIn regreLLubIy overweIgILed LIIs
cIupLer, wIIcI ¡ Iud quILe InLended Lo keep sIorL. ¡ wouId noL even suppress my suspIcIon, IeId
on psycIoIogIcuI grounds, LIuL ¡ ucLuuIIy seek dIgressIons und cIrcumIocuLIons, or uL IeusL
weIcome wILI uIucrILy uny occusIon Ior sucI, becuuse ¡ um uIruId oI wIuL Is comIng. ¡ Iuy beIore
LIe reuder u LesLImony Lo my good IuILI In LIuL ¡ gIve spuce Lo LIe LIeory LIuL ¡ muke dIIIIcuILIes
becuuse ¡ secreLIy sIrInk Irom LIe Lusk wIIcI, urged by Iove und duLy, ¡ Iuve underLuken. BuL
noLIIng, noL even my own weukness, sIuII prevenL me Irom conLInuIng Lo perIorm IL - und ¡
IerewILI resume my nurruLIve, wILI LIe remurk LIuL IL wus by our sIngIng oI rounds wILI LIe
sLubIe-gIrI LIuL, so Iur us ¡ know, AdrIun wus IIrsL brougIL InLo conLucL wILI LIe spIere oI musIc.
OI course ¡ know LIuL us Ie grew oIder Ie wenL wILI IIs purenLs Lo Sunduy servIce In LIe vIIIuge
cIurcI uL OberweIIer, wIere u young musIc sLudenL Irom WeIssenIeIs used Lo preIude on LIe
IILLIe orgun und uccompuny LIe sIngIng oI LIe congreguLIon, even uLLendIng ILs depurLure wILI
LImId ImprovIsuLIons. BuL ¡ wus uImosL never wILI LIem, sInce we usuuIIy wenL Lo BucIeI onIy
uILer mornIng cIurcI und ¡ cun buL suy LIuL ¡ never Ieurd Irom AdrIun u word Lo IndIcuLe LIuL IIs
young mInd wus uny wuy moved by LIe oIIerIngs oI LIuL youLIIuI udepL; or - LIuL beIng scurceIy
IIkeIy - LIuL LIe pIenomenon oI musIc ILseII Iud ever sLruck IIm. So Iur us ¡ cun see, even uL LIuL
LIme und Ior yeurs uILerwurds Ie guve IL no uLLenLIon und kepL conceuIed Irom IImseII LIuL Ie
Iud unyLIIng Lo do wILI LIe worId oI sound. ¡ see In LIuL u menLuI reserve; buL u pIysIoIogIcuI
expIunuLIon Is uIso possIbIe, Ior ucLuuIIy IL wus uL ubouL IIs IourLeenLI yeur, uL LIe LIme oI
begInnIng puberLy, und so uL LIe end oI LIe perIod oI cIIIdIood, In LIe Iouse oI IIs uncIe uL
KuIsersuscIern, LIuL Ie begun oI IIs own moLIon Lo experImenL on LIe pIuno. And IL wus uL LIIs
LIme LIuL LIe InIerILed mIgruIne begun Lo gIve IIm bud duys.
HIs broLIer George's IuLure wus condILIoned by IIs posILIon us IeIr, und Ie Iud uIwuys IeIL In
compIeLe Iurmony wILI IL. WIuL sIouId become oI LIe second son wus Ior LIe purenLs un open
quesLIon, wIIcI musL be decIded uccordIng Lo LIe LusLes und cupucILIes Ie mIgIL sIow; und IL wus
remurkubIe Iow eurIy LIe Ideu wus IIxed In IIs IumIIy's Ieud und In uII oI ours LIuL AdrIun wus Lo
be u scIoIur. WIuL sorL oI scIoIur remuIned Iong In doubL; buL LIe wIoIe beurIng oI LIe Iud, IIs
wuy oI expressIng IImseII, IIs cIeur deIInILIon, even IIs Iook, IIs IucIuI expressIon, never IeIL u
doubL, In LIe mInd oI my IuLIer Ior InsLunce, LIuL LIIs scIon oI LIe ¡everküIn sLock wus cuIIed Lo
"someLIIng IIgIer"; LIuL Ie wouId be LIe IIrsL scIoIur oI IIs IIne.
TIe decIsIve conIIrmuLIon oI LIIs Ideu cume Irom LIe euse, one mIgIL suy LIe superIor IucIIILy,
wILI wIIcI AdrIun ubsorbed LIe InsLrucLIon oI LIe eIemenLury scIooI. He receIved IL In LIe puLer-
nuI Iome, Ior JonuLIun ¡everküIn dId noL send IIs cIIIdren Lo LIe vIIIuge scIooI, und LIe cIIeI
IucLor In LIIs decIsIon wus, ¡ beIIeve, noL so mucI socIuI umbILIon us LIe eurnesL wIsI Lo gIve
LIem u more cureIuI educuLIon LIun LIey couId geL Irom InsLrucLIon In common wILI LIe coLLuge
cIIIdren oI OberweIIer. TIe scIooImusLer, u sLIII young und sensILIve mun, wIo never ceused Lo
be uIruId oI LIe dog Suso, cume over Lo BucIeI uILernoons wIen Ie Iud IInIsIed IIs oIIIcIuI
duLIes, In wInLer IeLcIed by TIomus In LIe sIeIgI. By LIe LIme Ie Look young AdrIun In Iund Ie
Iud uIreudy gIven LIe LIIrLeen-yeur-oId George uII LIe necessury IounduLIon Ior IIs IurLIer
LruInIng us ugronomIsL. BuL now Ie, scIooImusLer MIcIeIson, wus LIe very IIrsL Lo decIure, IoudIy
und wILI u cerLuIn veIemence, LIuL LIe boy musL "In God's nume," go Lo IIgI scIooI und LIe
unIversILy, Ior sucI u IeurnIng Ieud und IIgILnIng bruIn Ie, MIcIeIson, Iud never seen, und IL
wouId be u LIousund pILIes II one dId noL do everyLIIng Lo open Lo LIIs young scIoIur LIe wuy Lo
LIe IeIgILs oI knowIedge. TIus or someLIIng IIke IL, cerLuInIy ruLIer IIke u semInurIsL, dId Ie ex-
press IImseII, speukIng Indeed oI inçenium, oI course In purL Lo sIow oII wILI LIe word, wIIcI
sounded droII enougI uppIIed Lo sucI cIIIdIsI ucIIevemenLs. YeL obvIousIy IL cume Irom un uwed
und usLonIsIed IeurL.
¡ wus never presenL uL LIese Iesson-Iours und know onIy by Ieursuy ubouL LIem; buL ¡ cun
eusIIy ImugIne LIuL LIe beIuvIour oI my young AdrIun musL someLImes Iuve been u IILLIe Iurd on
u precepLor IImseII young, und uccusLomed Lo drIve IIs IeurnIng wILI wIIp und spurs InLo duII
und puzzIed or rebeIIIous Ieuds. "¡I you know IL uII uIreudy," ¡ once Ieurd IIm suy Lo LIe boy,
"LIen ¡ cun go Iome." OI course IL wus noL Lrue LIuL LIe pupII "knew IL uII uIreudy." BuL IIs
munner dId suggesL LIe LIougIL, sImpIy becuuse Iere wus u cuse oI LIuL swIIL, sLrungeIy
sovereIgn und unLIcIpuLory grusp und ussImIIuLIon, us sure us eusy, wIIcI soon drIed up LIe
musLer's pruIse, Ior Ie IeIL LIuL sucI u Ieud meunL u dunger Lo LIe modesLy oI LIe IeurL und
beLruyed IL eusIIy Lo urrogunce. ¡rom LIe uIpIubeL Lo synLux und grummur, Irom LIe progressIon
oI numbers und LIe IIrsL ruIes Lo LIe ruIe oI LIree und sImpIe sums In proporLIon, Irom LIe
memorIzIng oI IILLIe poems (und LIere wus no memorIzIng, LIe verses were sLruIgILwuy und wILI
LIe uLmosL precIsIon grusped und possessed) Lo LIe wrILLen seLLIng down oI IIs own LruIn oI
LIougIL on LIemes ouL oI LIe geogrupIy - IL wus uIwuys LIe sume: AdrIun guve IL IIs eur, LIen
Lurned round wILI un uIr LIuL seemed Lo suy: "Yes, good, so mucI Is cIeur, uII rIgIL, go on!" To LIe
pedugogIc LemperumenL LIere Is someLIIng revoILIng ubouL LIuL. CerLuInIy LIe young
scIooImusLer wus LempLed uguIn und uguIn Lo cry: "WIuL Is LIe muLLer wILI you? Tuke some
puIns!" BuL wIy, wIen obvIousIy LIere wus no need Lo Luke puIns?
As ¡ suId, ¡ wus never presenL uL LIe Iessons; buL ¡ um compeIIed Lo concIude LIuL my IrIend
receIved LIe scIenLIIIc duLu purveyed by Kerr MIcIeIson IundumenLuIIy wILI LIe sume mIen, so
Iurd Lo cIurucLerIze, wILI wIIcI under LIe IIme Lree Ie Iud uccepLed LIe IucL LIuL II u IorIzonLuI
meIody oI nIne burs Is dIvIded InLo LIree secLIons oI LIree burs eucI, LIey wIII sLIII produce u
IurmonIcuIIy IILLIng LexLure. HIs LeucIer knew some ¡uLIn; Ie InsLrucLed AdrIun In IL und LIen
unnounced LIuL LIe Iud - Ie wus now Len yeurs oId - wus reudy II noL Ior LIe IIILI, LIen cerLuInIy
Ior LIe IourLI Iorm. HIs work wus done.
TIus AdrIun IeIL IIs purenLs' Iouse uL EusLer 18q¸ und cume Lo Lown Lo uLLend our BonIIuce
gymnusIum, LIe scIooI oI LIe BreLIren oI LIe Common ¡IIe. HIs uncIe, NIkoIuus ¡everküIn, IIs
IuLIer's broLIer, u respecLed cILIzen oI KuIsersuscIern, decIured IImseII reudy Lo receIve LIe Iud
InLo IIs Iouse.

CHAPTIR VI
And us Ior KuIsersuscIern, my nuLIve Lown on LIe SuuIe, LIe sLrunger sIouId be InIormed LIuL
IL IIes somewIuL souLI oI HuIIe, Lowurds TIurIngIu. ¡ Iud uImosL suId IL lcç, Ior Iong ubsence Ius
mude IL sIIp Irom me InLo LIe pusL. YeL ILs Lowers rIse us ever on LIe sume spoL, und ¡ wouId noL
know wIeLIer ILs urcIILecLuruI proIIIe Ius suIIered so Iur Irom LIe ussuuILs oI LIe uIr wur. ¡n vIew
oI ILs IIsLorIc cIurm LIuL wouId be In LIe IIgIesL degree regreLLubIe. ¡ cun udd LIIs quILe cuImIy,
sInce ¡ sIure wILI no smuII purL oI our popuIuLIon, even LIose IurdesL IIL und IomeIess, LIe IeeI-
Ing LIuL we ure onIy geLLIng wIuL we guve, und even II we musL suIIer more IrIgILIuIIy LIun we
Iuve sInned, we sIuII onIy Ieur In our eurs LIuL Ie wIo sows LIe wInd musL reup LIe wIIrIwInd.
NeILIer HuIIe ILseII, LIe IndusLrIuI Lown, nor ¡eIpzIg, LIe cILy oI BucI LIe cunLor oI SL. TIomus,
nor WeImur, nor even Dessuu nor Mugdeburg Is Iur dIsLunL; buL KuIsersuscIern Is u juncLIon, und
wILI ILs LwenLy-seven LIousund InIubILunLs enLIreIy seII-suIIIcIenL; IeeIIng ILseII IIke every
Germun Lown u cenLre oI cuILure, wILI ILs own IIsLorIcuI dIgnILy und ImporLunce. ¡L Is supporLed
by severuI IndusLrIes: IucLorIes und mIIIs Ior LIe producLIon oI mucIInery, IeuLIer goods, IubrIcs,
urms, cIemIcuIs, und so on. ¡Ls museum, besIdes u roomIuI oI crude InsLrumenLs oI LorLure,
conLuIns u very esLImubIe IIbrury oI LwenLy-IIve LIousund voIumes und IIve LIousund
munuscrIpLs, umong LIe IuLLer Lwo books oI mugIc cIurms In uIIILeruLIve verse; LIey ure
consIdered by some scIoIurs Lo be oIder LIun LIose In Merseburg. TIe cIurms ure perIecLIy
IurmIess: noLIIng worse LIun u IILLIe ruIn-conjurIng, In LIe dIuIecL oI ¡uIdu. TIe Lown wus u
bIsIoprIc In LIe LenLI cenLury, und uguIn Irom LIe begInnIng oI LIe LweIILI Lo LIe IourLeenLI. ¡L
Ius u cusLIe, und u cuLIedruI cIurcI wIere you muy see LIe Lomb oI KuIser OLLo ¡¡¡, son oI
AdeIIeId und Iusbund oI TIeopIuno, wIo cuIIed IImseII Emperor oI LIe Romuns, uIso
SuxonIcus; LIe IuLLer noL becuuse Ie wunLed Lo be u Suxon buL In LIe sense on wIIcI ScIpIo cuIIed
IImseII AIrIcunus, becuuse Ie Iud conquered LIe Suxons. He wus drIven ouL oI IIs beIoved Rome
und dIed In mIsery In LIe yeur 1ooz; IIs remuIns were brougIL Lo Germuny und burIed In LIe
cuLIedruI In KuIsersuscIern - noL uL uII wIuL Ie wouId Iuve reIIsIed IImseII, Ior Ie wus u prIze
specImen oI Germun seII-conLempL und Iud been uII IIs IIIe usIumed oI beIng Germun.
As Ior LIe Lown - wIIcI ¡ reIer Lo by cIoIce In LIe pusL Lense, sInce uILer uII ¡ um speukIng oI
LIe KuIsersuscIern oI our youLI - LIere Is LIIs Lo be suId oI IL, LIuL In uLmospIere us weII us In
ouLwurd uppeurunce IL Iud kepL u dIsLIncLIy medIuevuI uIr. TIe oId cIurcIes, LIe IuILIIuIIy
preserved dweIIIng-Iouses und wureIouses, buIIdIngs wILI exposed und juLLIng upper sLorey; LIe
round Lowers In LIe wuII, wILI LIeIr peuked rooIs; LIe Lree-sLudded squures wILI cobbIesLones;
LIe Town HuII oI mIxed GoLIIc und RenuIssunce urcIILecLure, wILI u beII-Lower on LIe IIgI rooI,
IoggIus underneuLI, und Lwo oLIer poInLed Lowers IormIng buys und conLInuIng LIe Iucude down
Lo LIe ground - uII LIese guve u sense oI conLInuILy wILI LIe pusL. More, even, LIe pIuce seemed
Lo weur on ILs brow LIuL Iumous IormuIu oI LImeIessness, LIe scIoIusLIc nunc stcns. ¡Ls IndIvIduuI
cIurucLer, wIIcI wus LIe sume us LIree Iundred, nIne Iundred yeurs ugo, usserLed ILseII uguInsL
LIe sLreum oI LIme pussIng over IL, consLunLIy mukIng cIunges In muny LIIngs, wIIIe oLIers,
decIsIve Ior LIe pIcLure, were preserved ouL oI pIeLy; LIuL Is Lo suy, ouL oI u pIous deIIunce oI LIme
und uIso ouL oI prIde In LIem, Ior LIe suke oI LIeIr vuIue und LIeIr memorIes.
TIIs mucI oI LIe scene ILseII. BuL someLIIng sLIII Iung on LIe uIr Irom LIe spIrILuuI
consLILuLIon oI LIe men oI LIe IusL decudes oI LIe IIILeenLI cenLury: u morbId excILemenL, u
meLupIysIcuI epIdemIc IuLenL sInce LIe IusL yeurs oI LIe MIddIe Ages. TIIs wus u prucLIcuI,
ruLIonuI modern Lown.- YeL no, IL wus noL modern, IL wus oId; und uge Is pusL us presenLness, u
pusL mereIy overIuId wILI presenLness. RusI IL muy be Lo suy so, buL Iere one couId ImugIne
sLrunge LIIngs: us Ior InsLunce u movemenL Ior u cIIIdren's crusude mIgIL breuk ouL; u SL. VILus's
dunce; some wunderIng IunuLIc wILI communIsLIc vIsIons, preucIIng u bonIIre oI LIe vunILIes;
mIrucIes oI LIe Cross, IunLusLIc und mysLIcuI IoIk-movemenLs - LIIngs IIke LIese, one IeIL, mIgIL
eusIIy come Lo puss. OI course LIey dId noL - Iow sIouId LIey? TIe poIIce, ucLIng In ugreemenL
wILI LIe LImes und LIe reguIuLIons, wouId noL Iuve uIIowed LIem. And yeL wIuL uII In our LIme
Iuve LIe poIIce noL uIIowed - uguIn In ugreemenL wILI LIe LImes, wIIcI mIgIL reudIIy, by
degrees, uIIow jusL sucI LIIngs Lo Iuppen uguIn now? Our LIme ILseII Lends, secreLIy - or ruLIer
unyLIIng buL secreLIy; Indeed, quILe conscIousIy, wILI u sLrungeIy compIucenL conscIousness,
wIIcI mukes one doubL LIe genuIneness und sImpIIcILy oI IIIe ILseII und wIIcI muy perIups
evoke un enLIreIy IuIse, unbIesL IIsLorIcILy - IL Lends, ¡ suy, Lo reLurn Lo LIose eurIIer epocIs; IL
enLIusIusLIcuIIy re-enucLs symboIIc deeds oI sInIsLer sIgnIIIcunce, deeds LIuL sLrIke In LIe Iuce LIe
spIrIL oI LIe modern uge, sucI, Ior InsLunce, us LIe burnIng oI LIe books und oLIer LIIngs oI
wIIcI ¡ preIer noL Lo speuk.
TIe sLump oI oId-worId, underground neurosIs wIIcI ¡ Iuve been descrIbIng, LIe murk und
psycIoIogIcuI Lemper oI sucI u Lown, beLruys ILseII In KuIsersuscIern by LIe muny "orIgInuIs,"
eccenLrIcs, und IurmIessIy IuII-mud IoIk wIo IIve wILIIn ILs wuIIs und, IIke LIe oId buIIdIngs,
beIong Lo LIe pIcLure. TIe pendunL Lo LIem Is Iormed by LIe cIIIdren, LIe "young 'uns," wIo
pursue LIe poor creuLures, mock LIem, und LIen In supersLILIous punIc run uwuy. A cerLuIn sorL
oI "oId womun" used uIwuys In cerLuIn epocIs wILIouL more udo Lo be suspecLed oI wILcIcruIL,
sImpIy becuuse sIe Iooked "queer," LIougI Ier uppeurunce muy weII Iuve been, In LIe IIrsL pIuce,
noLIIng buL LIe resuIL oI LIe suspIcIon uguInsL Ier, wIIcI LIen gruduuIIy jusLIIIed ILseII LIII IL
resembIed LIe popuIur Iuncy: smuII, grey, benL, wILI u spILeIuI Iuce, rIeumy eyes, Iooked nose,
LIIn IIps, u LIreuLenIng crook. ProbubIy sIe owned cuLs, un owI, u LuIkIng bIrd. KuIsersuscIern
Iurboured more LIun one sucI specImen; LIe mosL popuIur, mosL Leused und Ieured wus CeIIur-
¡Ise, so cuIIed becuuse sIe IIved In u busemenL In ¡ILLIe BrussIounder's AIIey - un oId womun
wIose IIgure Iud so ussImIIuLed ILseII Lo popuIur prejudIce LIuL even LIe mosL unuIIecLed couId
IeeI un urcIuIc sIudder uL meeLIng Ier, especIuIIy wIen LIe cIIIdren were uILer Ier und sIe wus
puLLIng LIem Lo IIIgIL by spILLIng curses. OI course, quILe deIInILeIy LIere wus noLIIng wrong wILI
Ier uL uII.
Here IeL me be boId enougI Lo express un opInIon born oI LIe experIences oI our own LIme. To
u IrIend oI enIIgILenmenL LIe word und concepLIon "LIe IoIk" Ius uIwuys someLIIng unucIro-
nIsLIc und uIurmIng ubouL IL; Ie knows LIuL you need onIy LeII u crowd LIey ure "LIe IoIk" Lo sLIr
LIem up Lo uII sorLs oI reucLIonury evII. WIuL uII Ius noL Iuppened beIore our eyes - or jusL noL
quILe beIore our eyes - In LIe nume oI "LIe IoIk," LIougI IL couId never Iuve Iuppened In LIe
nume oI God or IumunILy or LIe Iuw! BuL IL Is LIe IucL LIuL ucLuuIIy LIe IoIk remuIn LIe IoIk, uL
IeusL In u cerLuIn sLruLum oI ILs beIng, LIe urcIuIc; und peopIe Irom ¡ILLIe BrussIounder's AIIey
und round ubouL, peopIe wIo voLed LIe SocIuI-DemocruLIc LIckeL uL LIe poIIs, ure uL LIe sume
LIme cupubIe oI seeIng someLIIng duemonIc In LIe poverLy oI u IILLIe oId womun wIo cunnoL
uIIord u IodgIng ubove-ground. TIey wIII cIuLcI LIeIr cIIIdren Lo LIem wIen sIe upproucIes, Lo
suve LIem Irom LIe evII eye. And II sucI un oId souI sIouId Iuve Lo burn uguIn Loduy, by no
meuns un ImpossIbIe prospecL, were even u Iew LIIngs dIIIerenL, "LIe IoIk" wouId sLund und gupe
beIInd LIe burrIers erecLed by LIe Muyor, buL LIey wouId probubIy noL rebeI. - ¡ speuk oI LIe
IoIk; buL LIIs oId, IoIkIsI Iuyer survIves In us uII, und Lo speuk us ¡ reuIIy LIInk, ¡ do noL consIder
reIIgIon LIe mosL udequuLe meuns oI keepIng IL under Iock und key. ¡or LIuL, IILeruLure uIone
uvuIIs, IumunIsLIc scIence, LIe IdeuI oI LIe Iree und beuuLIIuI Iumun beIng.
To reLurn Lo LIose oddILIes oI KuIsersuscIern: LIere wus u mun oI IndeIInILe uge wIo, II
suddenIy cuIIed Lo on LIe sLreeL, Iud u compuIsIon Lo execuLe u sorL oI LwILcIIng dunce wILI IIs
Iegs druwn up. HIs Iuce wus boLI ugIy und sud, buL us LIougI Ie were beggIng purdon, Ie wouId
smIIe uL LIe urcIIns buwIIng uL IIs IeeIs. TIen LIere wus u womun numed MuLIIIde SpIegeI,
dressed In LIe IusIIon oI u bygone LIme: sIe wore u LruIn LrImmed wILI ruIIIes, und u jlcdus - u
rIdIcuIous corrupLIon oI LIe ¡rencI jlute douce, orIgInuIIy meunIng IIuLLery, buL Iere used Ior u
curIous coIIIure wILI curIs und ornumenLs. SIe wore rouge Loo, buL wus noL ImmoruI, beIng Iur
Loo wILIess; sIe mereIy rumbIed LIrougI LIe sLreeLs wILI Ier nose In LIe uIr, uccompunIed by pug
dogs wILI suLIn suddIe-cIoLIs. A smuII renLIer wus unoLIer sucI Ireuk; Ie Iud u buIbous purpIe
nose, und u bIg seuI rIng on IIs IoreIInger. HIs reuI nume wus ScInuIIe, buL Ie wus cuIIed TooLIe-
oo, becuuse Ie Iud u IubIL oI uddIng LIIs senseIess cIIrrup Lo everyLIIng Ie suId. He IIked Lo go
Lo LIe ruIIwuy sLuLIon, und wIen u IreIgIL LruIn puIIed ouL wouId IIIL IIs IInger und wurn LIe mun
sILLIng on LIe rooI oI LIe IusL cur: "Don'L IuII oII, don'L IuII oII, LooLIe-oo!"
¡L muy be LIuL LIese groLesque memorIes ure unworLIy oI IncIusIon Iere - ¡ um IncIIned Lo
beIIeve IL. YeL uII LIese IIgures were, In u wuy, pubIIc InsLILuLIons, uncommonIy cIurucLerIsLIc oI
LIe psycIoIogIcuI pIcLure oI my nuLIve Lown, AdrIun's seLLIng LIII Ie wenL Lo LIe unIversILy, Ior
nIne yeurs oI IIs young IIIe. ¡ spenL LIem uL IIs sIde, Ior LIougI by uge ¡ wus Lwo Iorms beyond
IIm, we kepL LogeLIer, upurL Irom our respecLIve cIuss-muLes, durIng LIe recesses In LIe wuIIed
courLyurd, und uIso meL eucI oLIer In LIe uILernoons, In our IILLIe sLudIes: eILIer Ie cume over Lo
LIe sIop or ¡ wenL Lo IIm In LIe Iouse oI IIs uncIe uL PurocIIuIsLrusse 1¸, wIere LIe mezzunIne
sLorey wus occupIed by LIe weII-known ¡everküIn musIcuI-InsLrumenLs IIrm.

CHAPTIR VII
¡L wus u quIeL spoL, removed Irom LIe busIness secLIon oI KuIsersuscIern, LIe MurkeL SLreeL, or
GrILseIIers' Row: u LIny sLreeL wILIouL u puvemenL, neur LIe CuLIedruI; NIkoIuus ¡everküIn's
Iouse sLood ouL us LIe mosL ImposIng one In IL. ¡L Iud LIree sLoreys, noL counLIng LIe IoILs oI LIe
sepuruLe rooI, wIIcI wus buIIL ouL In buys; und In LIe sIxLeenLI cenLury IL Iud been LIe dweIIIng-
Iouse oI un uncesLor oI LIe presenL owner. ¡L Iud IIve wIndows In LIe IIrsL sLorey ubove LIe
enLrunce door und onIy Iour, wILI bIInds, In LIe second, wIere, InsLeud oI In LIe IIrsL, LIe IumIIy
IIvIng-rooms Iuy. OuLsIde, LIe IounduLIon sLorey wus un-wIILewusIed und unudorned; onIy
ubove IL dId LIe ornumenLuI woodwork begIn. Even LIe sLuIrs wIdened onIy uILer LIe begInnIng oI
LIe mezzunIne, wIIcI Iuy ruLIer IIgI ubove LIe sLone enLry, so LIuL vIsILors und buyers- muny oI
LIese cume Irom ubroud, Irom HuIIe und even ¡eIpzIg - Iud noL Loo eusy u cIImb Lo LIe gouI oI
LIeIr Iopes, LIe InsLrumenL wureIouse. BuL us ¡ meun Lo sIow IorLIwILI, IL wus cerLuInIy worLI u
sLeep cIImb.
NIkoIuus, u wIdower - IIs wIIe dIed young - Iud up Lo AdrIun's comIng IIved uIone In LIe
Iouse wILI un oId-esLubIIsIed Iousekeeper, ¡ruu BuLze, u muId, und u young ¡LuIIun Irom
BrescIu, numed ¡ucu CImubue (Ie dId ucLuuIIy beur LIe IumIIy nume oI LIe LIIrLeenLI-cenLury
puInLer oI Mudonnus), wIo wus IIs ussIsLunL und pupII uL LIe Lrude oI vIoIIn-mukIng; Ior UncIe
¡everküIn uIso mude vIoIIns. He wus u mun wILI unLIdy usI-coIoured IuIr IungIng Ioose ubouL
IIs beurdIess, sympuLIeLIcuIIy mouIded Iuce; promInenL cIeekbones, u Iooked, ruLIer droopIng
nose, u Iurge, expressIve mouLI, und brown eyes wILI good-IeurLedness und concern us weII us
sIrewdness In LIeIr guze. AL Iome one uIwuys suw IIm In u wrInkIed IusLIun smock cIosed Lo LIe
LIrouL. ¡ LIInk IL pIeused LIe cIIIdIess mun Lo receIve u young kInsmun In IIs Iur Loo spucIous
Iouse. AIso ¡ Iuve Ieurd LIuL Ie IeL IIs broLIer In BucIeI puy LIe scIooI Iees, buL Look noLIIng
IImseII Ior bourd und IodgIng. AILogeLIer Ie LreuLed AdrIun, on wIom Ie kepL un IndeIInILeIy
expecLunL eye, IIke IIs own son, und greuLIy enjoyed IuvIng LIIs IumIIy uddILIon Lo IIs LubIe,
wIIcI Ior so Iong Iud Iud round IL onIy LIe ubove-menLIoned ¡ruu BuLze und, In puLrIurcIuI
IusIIon, ¡ucu, IIs upprenLIce.
TIuL LIIs young ¡LuIIun, u IrIendIy youLI speukIng u pIeusunLIy broken Germun, Iud Iound IIs
wuy Lo KuIsersuscIern und Lo AdrIun's uncIe, wIen Ie sureIy musL Iuve Iud opporLunILy uL Iome
Lo Improve IImseII In IIs Lrude, wus perIups surprIsIng, buL IndIcuLed LIe exLenL oI NIkoIuus
¡everküIn's busIness connecLIons, noL onIy wILI Germun cenLres oI InsLrumenL-mukIng, IIke
MuInz, BruunscIweIg, ¡eIpzIg, Burmen, buL uIso wILI IoreIgn IIrms In ¡ondon, ¡yons, BoIognu,
even New York. He drew IIs sympIonIc mercIundIse Irom uII quurLers und Iud u repuLuLIon Ior
u sLock-In-Lrude noL onIy IIrsL-cIuss us Lo quuIILy buL uIso gruLIIyIngIy compIeLe und noL eusIIy
obLuInubIe eIsewIere. TIus LIere onIy needed Lo be unywIere In LIe kIngdom u BucI IesLIvuI In
prospecL, Ior wIose perIormunce In cIussIc sLyIe un oboe d'umore wus needed, LIe deeper oboe
Iong sInce dIsuppeured Irom LIe orcIesLru, Ior LIe oId Iouse In PurocIIuIsLrusse Lo receIve u vIsIL
Irom u cIIenL, u musIcIun wIo wunLed Lo pIuy suIe und couId Lry ouL LIe eIegIuc InsLrumenL on LIe
spoL.
TIe wurerooms In LIe mezzunIne oILen resounded wILI sucI reIeursuIs, LIe voIces runnIng
LIrougI LIe ocLuves In LIe mosL vurIed coIours. TIe wIoIe pIuce uIIorded u spIendId, ¡ mIgIL suy
u cuILuruIIy encIunLIng und uIIurIng sIgIL, sLImuIuLIng LIe uuruI ImugInuLIon LIII IL eIIervesced.
ExcepLIng LIe pIuno, wIIcI AdrIun's IosLer-IuLIer guve over Lo LIuL specIuI IndusLry, everyLIIng
wus Iere spreud ouL: uII LIuL sounds und sIngs, LIuL Lwungs und crusIes, Iums und rumbIes und
rours - even LIe keybourd InsLrumenLs, In LIe Iorm oI LIe ceIesLu, LIe IoveIy Gloclenllctier,
were uIwuys represenLed. TIere Iung beIInd gIuss, or Iuy bedded In recepLucIes wIIcI IIke
mummy cuses were mude In LIe sIupe oI LIeIr occupunLs, LIe cIurmIng vIoIIns, vurnIsIed some
yeIIower und some browner, LIeIr sIender bows wILI sIIver wIre round LIe nuL IIxed InLo LIe IId oI
LIe cuse; ¡LuIIun ones, LIe pure, beuuLIIuI sIupes oI wIIcI wouId LeII LIe connoIsseur LIuL LIey
cume Irom Cremonu; uIso TIroIese, DuLcI, Suxon, MILLenwuId IIddIes, und some Irom
¡everküIn's own worksIop. TIe meIodIous ceIIo, wIIcI owes ILs perIecL Iorm Lo AnLonIo
SLrudIvurI, wus LIere In rows; IIkewIse ILs predecessor, LIe sIx-sLrInged vIoIu du gumbu, In oIder
works sLIII Ionoured nexL Lo IL; LIe vIoIu und LIuL oLIer cousIn oI LIe IIddIe, LIe vIoIu uILu, were
uIwuys Lo be Iound, us weII us my own vIoIu d'umore, on wIose seven sLrIngs ¡ Iuve uII my IIIe
enjoyed perIormIng. My InsLrumenL cume Irom LIe PurocIIuIsLrusse, u presenL Irom my purenLs
uL my conIIrmuLIon.
TIere were severuI specImens oI LIe vIoIone, LIe gIunL IIddIe, LIe unwIeIdy doubIe-buss,
cupubIe oI mujesLIc recILuLIve, wIose pIzzIcuLo Is more sonorous LIun LIe sLroke oI LIe keLLIe-
drum, und wIose IurmonIcs ure u veIIed mugIc oI uImosL unbeIIevubIe quuIILy. And LIere wus
uIso more LIun one oI ILs opposILe number umong LIe wood-wInd InsLrumenLs, LIe conLru-
bussoon, sIxLeen-IooL IIkewIse - In oLIer words, soundIng un ocLuve Iower LIun LIe noLes
IndIcuLe - mIgILIIy sLrengLIenIng LIe busses, buIIL In LwIce LIe dImensIons oI ILs smuIIer broLIer
LIe Iumorous bussoon, Lo wIIcI ¡ gIve LIuL nume becuuse IL Is u buss InsLrumenL wILIouL proper
buss sLrengLI, oddIy weuk In sound, bIeuLIng, burIesque. How preLLy IL wus, LIougI, wILI ILs
curved mouLIpIece, sIInIng In LIe decoruLIon oI ILs keys und Ievers! WIuL u cIurmIng sIgIL
uILogeLIer, LIIs IosL oI sIuwms In LIeIr IIgIIy deveIoped sLuge oI LecInIcuI perIecLIon,
cIuIIengIng LIe pussIon oI LIe vIrLuoso In uII oI LIeIr Iorms: us bucoIIc oboe, us cor Ançlcis weII
versed In LrugIc wuys; LIe muny-keyed cIurIneL, wIIcI cun sound so gIosLIy In LIe deep
cIuIumeuu regIsLer buL IIgIer up cun gIeum In sIIvery bIossomIng Iurmony, us busseL Iorn und
buss cIurIneL.
AII oI LIese, In LIeIr veIveL beds, oIIered LIemseIves In UncIe ¡everküIn's sLock; uIso LIe
Lrunsverse IIuLe, In vurIous sysLems und vurIed execuLIon, mude oI beecIwood, grunudIIIu, or
ebony, wILI Ivory Ieud-pIeces, or eIse enLIreIy oI sIIver; nexL LIeIr sIrIII reIuLIve LIe pIccoIo,
wIIcI In LIe orcIesLruI LuLLI pIercIngIy IoIds LIe LrebIe, duncIng In LIe musIc oI LIe wIII-o'-LIe-
wIsp und LIe IIre-mugIc. And now LIe sIImmerIng cIorus oI LIe brusses, Irom LIe LrIm LrumpeL,
vIsIbIe symboI oI LIe cIeur cuII, LIe sprIgILIy song, LIe meILIng cunLIIenu, LIrougI LIuL durIIng oI
LIe romunLIcs, LIe vo-IuLed vuIve-Iorn, LIe sIender und powerIuI Lrombone, und LIe corneL-u-
pIsLons, Lo LIe weIgILy buss Lubu. Rure museum pIeces sucI us u puIr oI beuuLIIuIIy curved
bronze Iurer Lurned rIgIL und IeIL, IIke sLeer-Iorns, were uIso Lo be Iound In ¡everküIn's wure-
Iouse. BuL In u boy's eyes, us ¡ see IL uguIn In reLrospecL, mosL guy und gIorIous oI uII wus LIe
compreIensIve dIspIuy oI percussIon InsLrumenLs - jusL becuuse LIe LIIngs LIuL one Iud Iound
under LIe CIrIsLmus Lree, LIe Loys und dreum-possessIons oI cIIIdIood, now Lurned up In LIIs
dIgnIIIed grown-up dIspIuy. TIe sIde drum, Iow dIIIerenL IL Iooked Iere Irom LIe epIemeruI
puInLed LIIng oI wood, purcImenL, und LwIne we LIumped on us sIx-yeur-oIds! ¡L wus noL meunL
Lo Iung round your neck. TIe Iower membrune wus sLreLcIed wILI guL sLrIngs; IL wus screwed
IusL Ior orcIesLruI use, In convenIenLIy sIunLIng posILIon, on u meLuI LrIveL, und LIe wooden sLIcks,
uIso mucI nIcer LIun ours, sLuck InvILIngIy InLo rIngs uL LIe sIdes. TIere wus LIe gIockenspIeI; we
Iud Iud u cIIIdIood versIon oI IL, on wIIcI we prucLIsed Kommt ein Voçel çejloçen. Here, In un
eIegunL Iocked cuse, IyIng In puIrs on cross-burs und Iree Lo swIng, were LIe meLuI pIuLes, so
meLIcuIousIy Luned, wILI LIe deIIcuLe IILLIe sLeeI Iummers beIongIng Lo LIem und kepL In LIe
IIned IId oI LIe cuse. TIe xyIopIone, wIIcI seems mude Lo conjure up u vIsIon oI u dunce oI
skeIeLons - Iere IL wus wILI ILs numerous wooden burs, urrunged In LIe cIromuLIc scuIe. TIere
wus LIe gIunL sLudded cyIInder oI LIe buss drum, wILI u IeIL-covered sLIck Lo beuL IL; und LIe
copper keLLIe-drum, sIxLeen oI wIIcI BerIIoz sLIII IncIuded In IIs orcIesLru. He dId noL know LIe
peduI drum us represenLed Iere, wIIcI LIe drummer cun wILI IIs Iund eusIIy udupL Lo u cIunge
oI key. How weII ¡ remember LIe prunks we prucLIsed on IL, AdrIun und ¡ - no, IL wus probubIy
onIy ¡ - mukIng LIe sLIcks roII on LIe membrune wIIIe LIe good ¡ucu Luned IL up und down, so
LIuL u LIuddIng und LIumpIng In LIe sLrungesL gIIssundo ensued. And LIen LIere were LIe
exLruordInury cymbuIs, wIIcI onIy LIe Turks und LIe CIInese know Iow Lo muke, becuuse LIey
Iuve preserved LIe secreL oI IummerIng moILen bronze. TIe perIormer, uILer cIusIIng LIem,
IoIds up LIeIr Inner sIdes In LrIumpI Lowurds LIe uudIence. TIe reverberuLIng gong, LIe Lum-
bourIne beIoved oI LIe gypsIes, LIe LrIungIe wILI ILs open end, soundIng brIgILIy under LIe sLeeI
sLIck; LIe cymbuIs oI Loduy, LIe IoIIow cusLuneLs cIuckIng In LIe Iund. ConsIder uII LIIs spIendId
IeusL oI sound, wILI LIe goIden, gorgeous sLrucLure oI LIe Erurd peduI Iurp LowerIng ubove IL -
und Iow eusy IL Is Lo IeeI LIe IuscInuLIon LIuL UncIe's wureIouse Iud Ior us, LIIs sIIenL purudIse,
wIIcI yeL In Iundreds oI Iorms IeruIded sweeLesL Iurmony!
¡or us? No, ¡ sIuII do beLLer Lo speuk onIy oI myseII, my own encIunLmenL, my own pIeusure -
¡ scurceIy dure Lo IncIude my IrIend wIen ¡ speuk oI LIose IeeIIngs. PerIups Ie wunLed Lo pIuy LIe
son oI LIe Iouse, Lo wIom LIe wurerooms were commonpIuce everyduy; perIups LIe cooIness
nuLIve Lo IIm In generuI mIgIL LIus express ILseII; Ior Ie muInLuIned un uImosL sIouIder-
sIruggIng IndIIIerence Lo uII LIese spIendours, repIyIng Lo my udmIrIng excIumuLIons wILI IIs
sIorL IuugI und u "Yes, very nIce" or "¡unny sLuII" or "WIuL uII don'L peopIe LIInk oI!" or "More
Iun Lo seII LIIs LIun grocerIes." SomeLImes - ¡ repeuL LIuL IL wus uL my wIsI, noL IIs - we wouId
descend Irom IIs uLLIc, wIIcI guve u pIeusunL vIew over LIe rooIs oI LIe Lown, LIe cusLIe pond, LIe
oId wuLer-Lower, und Invude LIe sIow-rooms. TIey were noL IorbIdden Lo us; buL young CImubue
cume Loo, purLIy, ¡ suspecL, Lo keep guurd, buL uIso Lo pIuy cIcerone In IIs pIeusunL wuy. ¡rom
IIm we Ieurned LIe IIsLory oI LIe LrumpeL: Iow once IL Iud Lo be puL LogeLIer ouL oI severuI
meLuI Lubes wILI u buII connecLIon, beIore we Ieurned LIe urL oI bendIng bruss Lubes wILIouL
spIILLIng LIem, by IIrsL IIIIIng LIem wILI pILcI und resIn, LIen wILI Ieud, wIIcI wus meILed uguIn
In LIe IIre. And LIen Ie couId expIuIn LIe usserLIon oI LIe cognoscenLI LIuL IL mude no dIIIerence
wIuL muLerIuI, wIeLIer wood or meLuI, un InsLrumenL wus mude oI, IL sounded uccordIng Lo ILs
IumIIy sIupe und proporLIons. A IIuLe mIgIL be mude oI wood or Ivory, u LrumpeL oI bruss or
sIIver, IL mude no dIIIerence. BuL IIs musLer, Ie suId, AdrIun's zio, dIspuLed LIuL. He knew LIe
ImporLunce oI LIe muLerIuI, LIe sorL oI wood und vurnIsI used, und enguged Lo be ubIe Lo LeII by
IIsLenIng Lo u IIuLe wIuL IL wus mude oI. He, ¡ucu, wouId do LIe sume. TIen wILI IIs smuII,
sIupeIy ¡LuIIun Iunds Ie wouId sIow us LIe mecIunIsm oI LIe IIuLe, wIIcI In LIe IusL one
Iundred und IIILy yeurs, sInce LIe Iumous vIrLuoso QuunLz, suw sucI greuL cIunges und deveI-
opmenLs: LIe mecIunIsm oI BoeIm's cyIIndrIcuI IIuLe, more powerIuI LIun LIe oId conIcuI, wIIcI
sounds sweeLer. He sIowed us LIe sysLem oI IIngerIng on LIe cIurIneL und LIe seven-IoIed bus-
soon wILI ILs LweIve cIosed und Iour open keys, wIose sound bIends so reudIIy wILI LIuL oI LIe
Iorns; InsLrucLed us ubouL LIe compuss oI LIe InsLrumenLs, LIe wuy Lo pIuy LIem und more sucI
muLLers.
TIere cun now be no doubL LIuL AdrIun, wIeLIer Ie wus uwure oI IL or noL, IoIIowed LIese
demonsLruLIons wILI uL IeusL us mucI uLLenLIon us ¡ - und wILI more proIIL LIun IL wus gIven me
Lo druw Irom LIem. BuL Ie beLruyed noLIIng, noL u gesLure IndIcuLed LIuL uII LIIs concerned or
ever wouId concern IIm. He IeL me usk ¡ucu LIe quesLIons, yes, Ie moved uwuy, Iooked uL
someLIIng eIse LIun LIe LIIng under dIscussIon, und IeIL me uIone wILI LIe ussIsLunL. ¡ wIII noL
suy LIuL Ie wus sIummIng, und ¡ do noL IorgeL LIuL uL LIuL LIme musIc Iud IurdIy uny reuIILy Lo
us oLIer LIun LIuL oI LIe pureIy muLerIuI objecLs In NIkoIuus ¡everküIn's sLorerooms. We were
Indeed brougIL InLo cursory conLucL wILI cIumber musIc, Ior every week or so LIere wus u
perIormunce In AdrIun's uncIe's Iouse, buL onIy occusIonuIIy In my presence und by no meuns
uIwuys In IIs. TIe pIuyers were our CuLIedruI orgunIsL, Herr WendeII KreLscImur, u sLuLLerer,
wIo wus IuLer Lo become AdrIun's LeucIer, und LIe sIngIng-musLer Irom LIe BonIIuce gym-
nusIum; AdrIun's uncIe pIuyed wILI LIem, quurLeLs by Huydn und MozurL, Ie IImseII pIuyIng IIrsL
vIoIIn, ¡ucu CImubue second, Herr KreLscImur ceIIo, und LIe sIngIng-musLer LIe vIoIu. TIese
were muscuIIne evenIngs, wILI LIe beer-gIuss on LIe IIoor besIde LIe cIuIr, u cIgur In LIe mouLI,
und IrequenL bursLs oI LuIk, sLrunge, dry InLerrupLIons In LIe mIddIe oI LIe Iunguuge oI musIc;
LuppIng oI LIe bow und counLIng buck oI LIe burs wIen LIe pIuyers goL ouL, wIIcI wus uImosL
uIwuys LIe IuuIL oI LIe sIngIng-musLer. A reuI concerL, u sympIony orcIesLru, we Iud never
Ieurd, und wIoever IIkes muy IInd LIereIn un expIunuLIon oI AdrIun's obvIous IndIIIerence Lo LIe
worId oI InsLrumenLs. AL uny ruLe Ie seemed Lo LIInk IL musL be suIIIcIenL, und so consIdered IL
IImseII. WIuL ¡ meun Is Ie IId IImseII beIInd IL, IId IImseII Irom musIc: terç Iong, wILI
InsLIncLIve persIsLence, Ie IId IImseII Irom IIs desLIny.
AnyIow, nobody Ior u Iong LIme LIougIL oI connecLIng young AdrIun In uny wuy wILI musIc.
TIe Ideu LIuL Ie wus desLIned Lo be u scIoIur wus IIxed In LIeIr mInds und conLInuuIIy
sLrengLIened by IIs brIIIIunL perIormunce In scIooI, IIs runk In IIs Iorm, wIIcI begun sIIgILIy Lo
wuver onIy In LIe upper Iorms, suy Irom LIe IIILI on, wIen Ie wus IIILeen. TIIs wus on uccounL oI
LIe mIgruIne, wIIcI Irom LIen on IIndered IIm In LIe IILLIe prepuruLIon Ie Iud Lo do. Even so Ie
eusIIy musLered LIe demunds mude on IIm - LIougI LIe word "musLered" Is noL weII cIosen, Ior
IL cosL IIm noLIIng Lo suLIsIy LIem. And II IIs exceIIence us u pupII dId noL eurn Ior IIm LIe
uIIecLIon oI IIs musLers, Ior IL dId noL, us ¡ oILen observed - one suw InsLeud u cerLuIn IrrILuLIon,
u desIre Lo Lrup IIm - IL wus noL so mucI LIuL LIey Iound IIm conceILed, LIougI LIey dId. TIey
dId noL, Iowever, LIInk IIm proud oI IIs ucIIevemenLs; LIe LroubIe wus, Ie wus noL proud
enougI, jusL LIereIn Iuy IIs urrogunce. He obvIousIy Iooked down on uII LIIs LIuL wus so eusy Ior
IIm: LIuL Is, LIe subjecL-muLLer oI LIe Iessons, LIe vurIous bruncIes oI sLudy, LIe purveyIng oI
wIIcI mude up LIe dIgnILy und LIe IIveIIIood oI LIe musLers. ¡L wus onIy Loo nuLuruI LIuL LIey
sIouId noL enjoy seeIng LIese LIIngs so compeLenLIy und cureIessIy dIsmIssed.
¡or my own purL ¡ Iud mucI more cordIuI reIuLIons wILI LIem - no wonder, sInce ¡ wus soon
Lo joIn LIeIr number und Iud even serIousIy unnounced my InLenLIon. ¡ Loo mIgIL cuII myseII u
good pupII; buL ¡ wus und mIgIL cuII myseII so onIy becuuse my reverenL Iove Ior my cIosen IIeId,
especIuIIy LIe uncIenL Longues und LIe cIussIc poeLs und wrILers, summoned und sLImuIuLed wIuL
powers ¡ Iud, wIIIe Ie on every occusIon mude IL cIeur - Lo me Ie mude no secreL oI IL und ¡ Ieur
IL wus noL one Lo LIe musLers eILIer - Iow IndIIIerenL und so Lo speuk unImporLunL Lo IIm LIe
wIoIe oI IIs educuLIon wus. TIIs oILen dIsLressed me, noL on uccounL oI IIs cureer, wIIcI LIunks
Lo IIs IucIIILy wus noL endungered, buL becuuse ¡ usked myseII wIuL wus noL IndIIIerenL und
unImporLunL Lo IIm. ¡ dId noL see LIe "muIn LIIng," und reuIIy IL wus noL LIere Lo see. ¡n LIose
yeurs scIooI IIIe Is IIIe ILseII, IL sLunds Ior uII LIuL IIIe Is, scIooI InLeresLs bound LIe IorIzon LIuL
every IIIe needs In order Lo deveIop vuIues, LIrougI wIIcI, Iowever reIuLIve LIey ure, LIe
cIurucLer und LIe cupucILIes ure susLuIned. TIey cun, Iowever, do LIuL, IumunIy speukIng, onIy II
LIe reIuLIveness remuIns unrecognIzed. BeIIeI In ubsoIuLe vuIues, IIIusory us IL uIwuys Is, seems Lo
me u condILIon oI IIIe. BuL my IrIend's gIILs meusured LIemseIves uguInsL vuIues LIe reIuLIve cIur-
ucLer oI wIIcI seemed Lo IIe open Lo IIm, wILIouL uny vIsIbIe possIbIIILy oI uny oLIer reIuLIon
wIIcI wouId Iuve deLrucLed Irom LIem us vuIues. Bud pupIIs LIere ure In pIenLy. BuL AdrIun pre-
senLed LIe sInguIur pIenomenon oI u bud pupII us LIe Ieud oI LIe Iorm. ¡ suy LIuL IL dIsLressed
me, buL Iow ImpressIve, Iow IuscInuLIng, ¡ Iound IL Loo! How IL sLrengLIened my devoLIon Lo
IIm, mIngIIng wILI IL - cun one undersLund wIy? - someLIIng IIke puIn, IIke IopeIessness!
¡ wIII muke one excepLIon Lo LIIs unIIorm IronIc conLempL wIIcI Ie presenLed Lo wIuL LIe
scIooI oIIered IIm und LIe cIuIms IL mude upon IIm. TIuL wus IIs uppurenL InLeresL In u
dIscIpIIne In wIIcI ¡ myseII dId noL sIIne - muLIemuLIcs. My own weukness In LIIs IIeId, wIIcI
wus onIy LoIerubIy mude good by joyIuI uppIIcuLIon In pIIIoIogy, mude me reuIIze LIuL exceIIence
In perIormunce Is nuLuruIIy condILIoned by sympuLIy wILI LIe subjecL und LIus IL wus u reuI boon
Lo me Lo see LIIs condILIon - uL IeusL Iere - IuIIIIIed by my IrIend Loo. Mcthesis, us uppIIed IogIc,
wIIcI yeL conIInes ILseII Lo pure und IoILy ubsLrucLIons, IoIds u pecuIIur mIddIe posILIon beLween
LIe IumunIsLIc und LIe prucLIcuI scIences, und Irom LIe expIunuLIons wIIcI AdrIun guve me oI
LIe pIeusure Ie Look In IL, IL uppeured LIuL Ie Iound LIIs mIddIe posILIon uL once IIgIer,
domInuLIng, unIversuI, or, us Ie expressed IL, "LIe Lrue." ¡L wus u genuIne pIeusure Lo Ieur IIm
descrIbe unyLIIng us "LIe Lrue," IL wus un uncIor, u IoId, noL quILe In vuIn dId one InquIre ubouL
"LIe muIn LIIng." "You ure u IouL," Ie suId, "noL Lo IIke IL. To Iook uL LIe reIuLIons beLween LIIngs
musL be LIe besL LIIng, uILer uII. Order Is everyLIIng. Romuns xIII: '¡or LIere Is no power buL oI
God: LIe powers LIuL be ure orduIned oI God.'" He reddened, und ¡ Iooked uL IIm Iurge-eyed. ¡L
Lurned ouL LIuL Ie wus reIIgIous.
WILI IIm everyLIIng Iud IIrsL Lo "Lurn ouL," one Iud Lo Luke IIm by surprIse, cuLcI IIm In LIe
ucL, geL beIInd LIe words; LIen Ie wouId go red, und one wouId Iuve IIked Lo kIck oneseII Ior noL
IuvIng seen IL beIore. He wenL IurLIer LIun necessury In IIs uIgebru, pIuyed wILI LIe IogurILImIc
LubIes Ior sIeer umusemenL, suL over equuLIons oI LIe second cIuss beIore Ie Iud been usked Lo
IdenLIIy unknown quunLILIes ruIsed Lo u IIgIer power. ¡ cuugIL IIm uL uII LIuL by mere cIunce,
und even LIen Ie spoke mockIngIy oI LIem beIore Ie mude LIe ubove udmIssIons. AnoLIer
dIscovery, noL Lo suy unmuskIng, Iud preceded LIIs: ¡ Iuve uIreudy menLIoned IIs seII-LuugIL und
secreL expIoruLIon oI LIe keybourd, LIe cIord, LIe compuss oI LonuIILy, LIe cycIe oI IIILIs, und Iow
Ie, wILIouL knowIedge oI noLes or IIngerIng, used LIIs IurmonIc busIs Lo prucLIse uII sorLs oI
moduIuLIons und Lo buIId up meIodIc pIcLures rIyLImIcuIIy undeIIned. WIen ¡ dIscovered uII
LIIs, Ie wus In IIs IIILeenLI yeur. ¡ Iud sougIL IIm In vuIn one uILernoon In IIs room, und Iound
IIm beIore u IILLIe IurmonIum wIIcI sLood ruLIer unregurded In LIe corrIdor oI LIe IumIIy
rooms. ¡or u momenL ¡ Iud IIsLened, sLundIng uL LIe door, buL noL quILe IIkIng LIIs ¡ wenL
Iorwurd und usked IIm wIuL Ie wus doIng. He IeL LIe beIIows resL, Look IIs Iunds Irom LIe
munuuIs, bIusIed und IuugIed. "¡dIeness," Ie suId, "Is LIe moLIer oI uII vIce. ¡ wus bored. WIen ¡
um bored ¡ someLImes poke ubouL down Iere. TIe oId LreudIe-box sLunds Iere preLLy IorIorn; buL
Ior uII ILs sImpIeness IL Ius LIe meuL oI LIe muLLer In IL. ¡ook, IL Is curIous - LIuL Is, oI course,
LIere Is noLIIng curIous ubouL IL, buL wIen you muke IL ouL LIe IIrsL LIme Ior yourseII IL Is curIous
Iow IL uII Iungs LogeLIer und Ieuds round In u cIrcIe."
And Ie pIuyed u cIord: uII bIuck keys, ¡ sIurp, A sIurp, C sIurp, udded un E, und so unmusked
LIe cIord, wIIcI Iud Iooked IIke ¡-sIurp mujor, us beIongIng Lo B mujor, us ILs domInunL. "SucI
u cIord," Ie suId, "Ius oI ILseII no LonuIILy. EveryLIIng Is reIuLIon, und LIe reIuLIon Iorms LIe
cIrcIe." TIe A, wIIcI, IorcIng LIe resoIuLIon InLo G sIurp, Ieuds over Irom B mujor Lo E mujor, Ied
IIm on, und so vIu LIe keys oI A, D, und G Ie cume Lo C mujor und Lo LIe IIuL keys, us Ie
demonsLruLed Lo me LIuL on eucI one oI LIe LweIve noLes oI LIe cIromuLIc scuIe one couId buIId u
IresI mujor or mInor scuIe.
"BuL uII LIuL Is un oId sLory," Ie suId. "TIuL sLruck me u Iong LIme ugo. Now Iook Iow you cun
Improve on IL!" And Ie begun Lo sIow me moduIuLIons beLween more dIsLunL keys, by usIng LIe
so-cuIIed reIuLIon oI LIe LIIrd, LIe NeupoIILun sIxLI.
NoL LIuL Ie wouId Iuve known Iow Lo nume LIese LIIngs; buL Ie repeuLed:
"ReIuLIonsIIp Is everyLIIng. And II you wunL Lo gIve IL u more precIse nume, IL Is umbIguILy." To
IIIusLruLe LIe meunIng oI LIe word, Ie pIuyed me cIord-progressIons beIongIng Lo no deIInILe
key; demonsLruLed Ior me Iow sucI u progressIon IIucLuuLes beLween C mujor und G mujor, II
one Ieuves ouL LIe ¡, LIuL In G mujor Lurns InLo ¡ sIurp; Iow IL keeps LIe eur uncerLuIn us Lo
wIeLIer LIuL progressIon Is Lo be undersLood us beIongIng Lo C mujor or ¡ mujor II one uvoIds
LIe B, wIIcI In ¡ mujor Is IIuLLened Lo B IIuL.
"You know wIuL ¡ IInd?" Ie usked. "TIuL musIc Lurns LIe equIvocuI InLo u sysLem. Tuke LIIs or
LIuL noLe. You cun undersLund IL so or respecLIveIy so. You cun LIInk oI IL us sIurpened or
IIuLLened, und you cun, II you ure cIever, Luke udvunLuge oI LIe doubIe sense us mucI us you IIke."
¡n sIorL, In prIncIpIe Ie sIowed IImseII uwure oI enIurmonIc cIunges und noL unuwure oI
cerLuIn LrIcks by wIIcI one cun by-puss keys und use LIe enIurmonIc cIunge Ior moduIuLIons.
WIy wus ¡ more LIun surprIsed, numeIy moved und u IILLIe sLurLIed? HIs cIeeks were IoL, us
LIey never were In scIooI, noL even over IIs uIgebru. ¡ dId Indeed usk IIm Lo ImprovIse Ior me u
IILLIe, buL IeIL someLIIng IIke reIIeI wIen Ie puL me oII wILI u "Nonsense, nonsense!" WIuL sorL oI
reIIeI wus LIuL? ¡L mIgIL Iuve LuugIL me Iow proud ¡ wus oI IIs generuI IndIIIerence, und Iow
cIeurIy ¡ IeIL LIuL In IIs "¡L Is curIous," IndIIIerence becume u musk. ¡ dIvIned u buddIng pussIon
- u pussIon oI AdrIun's! SIouId ¡ Iuve been gIud? ¡nsLeud, ¡ IeIL uL once usIumed und unxIous.
¡ knew now LIuL Ie, wIen Ie LIougIL IImseII uIone, worked on IIs musIc; Indeed, In LIe
exposed posILIon oI LIe oId InsLrumenL LIuL couId noL Iong remuIn u secreL. One evenIng IIs
IosLer-IuLIer suId Lo IIm:
"WeII, nepIew, Irom wIuL ¡ Ieurd Loduy you were noL prucLIsIng Ior LIe IIrsL LIme."
"WIuL do you meun, UncIe NIko?"
"Don'L be so InnocenL! You were mukIng musIc."
"WIuL un expressIon!"
"¡L Ius Iud Lo serve Ior worse. How you goL Irom ¡ mujor Lo A mujor, LIuL wus preLLy cIever.
Does IL umuse you?"
"OI, UncIe!"
"WeII, oI course. ¡'II LeII you someLIIng: We'II puL LIe oId box up In your room, nobody sees IL
down Iere unyIow. TIen you'II Iuve IL uL Iund, Lo use wIen you IeeI IIke IL."
"You're IrIgILIuIIy good, UncIe, buL sureIy IL Is noL worLI LIe LroubIe."
"¡L's so IILLIe LroubIe LIuL even so LIe pIeusure mIgIL be greuLer. And unyIow, nepIew, you
ougIL Lo Iuve pIuno Iessons."
"Do you LIInk so, UncIe NIko? ¡ don'L know, IL sounds IIke u gIrIs' IIgI scIooI."
"MIgIL be IIgIer und sLIII noL quILe gIrIs'! ¡I you go Lo KreLscImur, IL wIII be someLIIng IIke. He
won'L skIn us uIIve, becuuse oI our oId IrIendsIIp, und you wIII geL u IounduLIon Ior your cusLIes
In LIe uIr. ¡'II speuk Lo IIm."
AdrIun repeuLed LIIs conversuLIon Lo me IILeruIIy, In LIe scIooI courL. ¡rom now on Ie Iud
Iessons LwIce u week Irom WendeII KreLscImur.

CHAPTIR VIII
WendeII KreLscImur, uL LIuL LIme sLIII young, uL mosL In LIe second IuII oI IIs LwenLIes, wus
born In LIe sLuLe oI PennsyIvunIu oI Germun-AmerIcun purenLuge. He Iud goL IIs musIcuI educu-
LIon In IIs counLry oI orIgIn; buL Ie wus eurIy druwn buck Lo LIe oId worId wIence IIs
grundpurenLs Iud once mIgruLed, und wIere IIs own rooLs Iuy und LIose oI IIs urL. ¡n LIe course
oI IIs wunderIngs, LIe sLuges und sojourns oI wIIcI seIdom IusLed more LIun u yeur or so, Ie Iud
become our orgunIsL In KuIsersuscIern. ¡L wus onIy un epIsode, preceded by oLIers (Ie Iud
worked us conducLor In smuII sLuLe LIeuLres In LIe ReIcI und SwILzerIund) und IoIIowed cerLuInIy
by oLIers sLIII. He Iud even uppeured us composer und produced un operu, The Stctue, wIIcI
wus weII receIved und pIuyed on muny sLuges.
UnpreLenLIous In uppeurunce, u sIorL, LIIckseL, buIIeL-Ieuded mun wILI u IILLIe cIIpped
mousLucIe und brown eyes prone Lo IuugILer, wILI now u musIng und now u pouncIng Iook, Ie
mIgIL Iuve meunL u reuI boon Lo LIe cuILuruI IIIe oI KuIsersuscIern II LIere Iud been uny sucI IIIe
Lo begIn wILI. HIs orgun-pIuyIng wus experL und exceIIenL, buL you couId counL on LIe IIngers oI
one Iund LIe number oI LIose In LIe communILy ubIe Lo upprecIuLe IL. Even so, u consIderubIe
number oI peopIe were uLLrucLed by IIs Iree uILernoon concerLs, In wIIcI Ie reguIed us wILI
orgun musIc by MIcIueI PreLorIus, ¡roberger, BuxLeIude, und oI course SebusLIun BucI, uIso uII
sorLs oI curIous genre composILIons Irom LIe LIme beLween HundeI's und Huydn's IIgIesL
perIods. AdrIun und ¡ uLLended LIe concerLs reguIurIy. A compIeLe IuIIure, on LIe oLIer Iund, uL
IeusL Lo uII uppeurunce, were LIe IecLures wIIcI Ie IeId IndeIuLIgubIy LIrougIouL u wIoIe seuson
In LIe IuII oI LIe SocIeLy oI AcLIvILIes Ior LIe Common WeuI, uccompunIed by IIIusLruLIons on LIe
pIuno und demonsLruLIons on u bIuckbourd. TIey were u IuIIure In LIe IIrsL pIuce becuuse our
popuIuLIon Iud on prIncIpIe no use Ior IecLures; und secondIy becuuse IIs LIemes were noL
popuIur buL ruLIer cuprIcIous und ouL oI LIe ordInury; und In LIe LIIrd pIuce becuuse IIs sLuLLer
mude IIsLenIng Lo LIem u nerve-ruckIng occupuLIon, someLImes brIngIng your IeurL InLo your
mouLI, someLImes LempLIng you Lo IuugILer, und uILogeLIer cuIcuIuLed Lo dIsLrucL your uLLenLIon
Irom LIe InLeIIecLuuI LreuL In unxIous expecLuLIon oI LIe nexL convuIsIon.
HIs sLuLLer wus oI u purLIcuIurIy LypIcuI und deveIoped kInd - LrugIc, becuuse Ie wus u mun
gIILed wILI greuL und urgenL rIcIes oI LIougIL, pussIonuLeIy uddIcLed Lo gIvIng ouL InIormuLIon.
And IIs IILLIe burk wouId move upon LIe wuLers by sLreLcIes swIIL und duncIng, wILI u suspIcIous
euse LIuL mIgIL muke one IorgeL und scouL IIs uIIIIcLIon. BuL InevILubIy, Irom LIme Lo LIme, wIIIe
consLunLIy und onIy Loo jusLIIIubIy uwuILed, cume LIe momenL oI dIsusLer; und LIere Ie sLood
wILI red, swoIIen Iuce on LIe ruck; wIeLIer sLuck on u sIbIIunL, wIIcI Ie weuLIered wILI wIde-
sLreLcIed mouLI, mukIng LIe noIse oI un engIne gIvIng oII sLeum; or wresLIIng wILI u IubIuI, IIs
cIeeks puIIed ouL, IIs IIps IuuncIed InLo u cruckIIng quIck-IIre oI sIorL, soundIess expIosIons; or
IInuIIy, wIen wILI IIs breuLIIng In IeIpIess dIsorder, IIs mouLI IIke u IunneI, Ie wouId gusp Ior
breuLI IIke u IIsI ouL oI wuLer; IuugIIng wILI Leurs In IIs eyes, Ior IL Is u IucL LIuL Ie IImseII
seemed Lo LreuL LIe LIIng us u joke. NoL everybody couId Luke LIuL consoIIng vIew; LIe pubIIc wus
reuIIy noL Lo be bIumed II IL uvoIded LIe IecLures wILI LIuL degree oI ununImILy LIuL In IucL severuI
LImes noL more LIun IuII u dozen Ieurers occupIed LIe seuLs: my purenLs, AdrIun's uncIe, young
CImubue, LIe Lwo oI us, und u Iew pupIIs Irom LIe gIrIs' IIgI scIooI, wIo dId noL IuII Lo gIggIe
wIen LIe speuker sLuLLered.
KreLscImur wouId Iuve been reudy Lo deIruy ouL oI IIs own pockeL sucI expenses Ior IuII und
IIgILIng us were noL covered by LIe LIckeL money. BuL my IuLIer und NIkoIuus ¡everküIn Iud
urrunged In commILLee Lo Iuve LIe socIeLy muke up LIe deIIcIL, or ruLIer reIInquIsI LIe cIurge Ior
LIe IuII, on LIe pIeu LIuL LIe IecLures were ImporLunL Ior cuILure und served LIe common good.
TIuL wus u IrIendIy gesLure; LIe eIIecL on LIe common weuI wus doubLIuI, sInce LIe communILy
dId noL uLLend LIem, In purL, us ¡ suId, becuuse oI LIe uII Loo specIuIIzed cIurucLer oI LIe subjecLs
LreuLed. WendeII KreLscImur Ionoured LIe prIncIpIe, wIIcI we repeuLedIy Ieurd Irom IIs IIps,
IIrsL Iormed by LIe EngIIsI Longue, LIuL Lo urouse InLeresL wus noL u quesLIon oI LIe InLeresL oI
oLIers, buL oI our own; IL couId onIy be done, buL LIen InIuIIIbIy wus, II one wus IundumenLuIIy
InLeresLed In u LIIng oneseII, so LIuL wIen one LuIked ubouL IL one couId IurdIy IeIp druwIng
oLIers In, InIecLIng LIem wILI IL, und so creuLIng un InLeresL up Lo LIen noL presenL or dreumed
oI. And LIuL wus worLI u greuL deuI more LIun cuLerIng Lo one uIreudy exIsLenL.
¡L wus u pILy LIuL our pubIIc guve IIm uImosL no opporLunILy Lo prove IIs LIeory. WILI us Iew,
sILLIng uL IIs IeeL In LIe yuwnIng empLIness oI LIe oId IuII wILI LIe numbered cIuIrs, Ie proved IL
concIusIveIy, Ior Ie IeId us cIurmed by LIIngs oI wIIcI we sIouId never Iuve LIougIL LIey couId
so cupLure our uLLenLIon; even IIs IrIgILIuI ImpedImenL dId In LIe end onIy uIIecL us us u
sLImuIuLIng und compeIIIng expressIon oI LIe zeuI Ie IeIL. OILen dId we uII nod uL IIm consoIIngIy
wIen LIe cuIumILy cume Lo puss, und one or LIe oLIer oI LIe genLIemen wouId uLLer u sooLIIng
"TIere, LIere!" or "¡L's uII rIgIL," or "Never mInd!" TIen LIe spusm wouId reIux In u merry,
upoIogeLIc smIIe und LIIngs wouId run on uguIn In uImosL uncunny IIuency, Ior u wIIIe.
WIuL dId Ie LuIk ubouL? WeII, LIe mun wus cupubIe oI spendIng u wIoIe Iour on LIe quesLIon:
WIy dId BeeLIoven noL wrILe u LIIrd movemenL Lo LIe PIuno SonuLu Opus 111? ¡L Is wILIouL
doubL u muLLer worLI dIscussIng. BuL LIInk oI IL In LIe IIgIL oI LIe posLers ouLsIde LIe IuII oI
AcLIvILIes Ior LIe Common WeuI, or InserLed In LIe KuIsersuscIern Rcilucç 1ourncl, und usk
yourseII LIe umounL oI pubIIc InLeresL IL couId urouse. PeopIe posILIveIy dId noL wunL Lo know
wIy Op. 111 Ius onIy Lwo movemenLs. We wIo were presenL uL LIe expIunuLIon Iud Indeed un
uncommonIy enrIcIIng evenIng, und LIIs uILIougI LIe sonuLu under dIscussIon wus Lo LIuL duLe
enLIreIy unknown Lo us. SLIII IL wus precIseIy LIrougI LIese IecLures LIuL we goL Lo know IL, und us
u muLLer oI IucL very mucI In deLuII; Ior KreLscImur pIuyed IL Lo us on LIe InIerIor coLLuge pIuno
LIuL wus uII Ie couId commund, u grund pIuno noL beIng grunLed IIm. He pIuyed IL cupILuIIy de-
spILe LIe rumbIIng noIse LIe InsLrumenL mude; unuIysIng ILs InLeIIecLuuI conLenL wILI greuL
ImpressIveness us Ie wenL, descrIbIng LIe cIrcumsLunces under wIIcI IL - und Lwo oLIers -
were wrILLen und expuLIuLIng wILI cuusLIc wIL upon LIe musLer's own expIunuLIon oI LIe reuson
wIy Ie Iud noL done u LIIrd movemenL correspondIng Lo LIe IIrsL. BeeLIoven, IL seems, Iud
cuImIy unswered LIIs quesLIon, puL by IIs IumuIus, by suyIng LIuL Ie Iud noL Iud LIme und
LIereIore Iud somewIuL exLended LIe second movemenL. No LIme! And Ie Iud suId IL "cuImIy,"
Lo booL. TIe conLempL Ior LIe quesLIoner wIIcI Iuy In sucI un unswer Iud obvIousIy noL been
noLIced, buL IL wus jusLIIIed conLempL. And now LIe speuker descrIbed BeeLIoven's condILIon In
LIe yeur 18zo, wIen IIs IeurIng, uLLucked by u resIsLIess uIImenL, wus In progressIve decuy, und IL
Iud uIreudy become cIeur LIuL Ie couId no Ionger conducL IIs own works. KreLscImur LoId us
ubouL LIe rumours LIuL LIe Iumous uuLIor wus quILe wrILLen ouL, IIs producLIve powers
exIuusLed, IImseII IncupubIe oI Iurger enLerprIses, und busyIng IImseII IIke LIe oId Huydn wILI
wrILIng down ScoLLIsI songs. SucI reporLs Iud conLInuuIIy guIned ground, becuuse Ior severuI
yeurs no work oI ImporLunce beurIng IIs nume Iud come on LIe murkeL. BuL In LIe IuLe uuLumn,
reLurnIng Lo VIennu Irom ModIIng, wIere Ie Iud spenL LIe summer, LIe musLer Iud suL down
und wrILLen LIese LIree composILIons Ior LIe pIuno wILIouL, so Lo speuk, once IookIng up Irom
LIe noLes, uII In one bursL, und guve noLIce oI LIem Lo IIs puLron, LIe CounL oI BrunswIck, Lo
reussure IIm us Lo IIs menLuI condILIon. And LIen KreLscImur LuIked ubouL LIe SonuLu In C
mInor, wIIcI Indeed IL wus noL eusy Lo see us u weII-rounded und InLeIIecLuuIIy dIgesLed work,
und wIIcI Iud gIven IIs conLemporury crILIcs, und IIs IrIends us weII, u Iurd uesLIeLIc nuL Lo
cruck. TIese IrIends und udmIrers, KreLscImur suId, sImpIy couId noL IoIIow LIe mun LIey
revered beyond LIe IeIgIL Lo wIIcI uL LIe LIme oI IIs muLurILy Ie Iud brougIL LIe sympIony, LIe
pIuno sonuLu, und LIe cIussIcuI sLrIng quurLeL. ¡n LIe works oI LIe IusL perIod LIey sLood wILI
Ieuvy IeurLs beIore u process oI dIssoIuLIon or uIIenuLIon, oI u mounLIng InLo un uIr no Ionger
IumIIIur or suIe Lo meddIe wILI; even beIore u plus ultrc, wIereIn LIey Iud been ubIe Lo see
noLIIng eIse LIun u degeneruLIon oI LendencIes prevIousIy presenL, un excess oI InLrospecLIon und
specuIuLIon, un exLruvugunce oI mInuLIue und scIenLIIIc musIcuIILy - uppIIed someLImes Lo sucI
sImpIe muLerIuI us LIe urIeLLu LIeme oI LIe monsLrous movemenL oI vurIuLIons wIIcI Iorms LIe
second purL oI LIIs sonuLu. TIe LIeme oI LIIs movemenL goes LIrougI u Iundred vIcIssILudes, u
Iundred worIds oI rIyLImIc conLrusLs, uL IengLI ouLgrows ILseII, und Is IInuIIy IosL In gIddy
IeIgILs LIuL one mIgIL cuII oLIer-worIdIy or ubsLrucL. And In jusL LIuL very wuy BeeLIoven's urL
Iud overgrown ILseII, rIsen ouL oI LIe IubILubIe regIons oI LrudILIon, even beIore LIe sLurLIed guze
oI Iumun eyes, InLo spIeres oI LIe enLIreIy und uLLerIy und noLIIng-buL personuI - un ego
puInIuIIy IsoIuLed In LIe ubsoIuLe, IsoIuLed Loo Irom sense by LIe Ioss oI IIs IeurIng; IoneIy prInce
oI u reuIm oI spIrILs, Irom wIom now onIy u cIIIIIng breuLI Issued Lo LerrIIy IIs mosL wIIIIng
conLemporurIes, sLundIng us LIey dId ugIusL uL LIese communIcuLIons oI wIIcI onIy uL momenLs,
onIy by excepLIon, LIey couId undersLund unyLIIng uL uII. So Iur, so good, suId KreLscImur. And
yeL uguIn, good or rIgIL onIy condILIonuIIy und IncompIeLeIy. ¡or one wouId usuuIIy connecL wILI
LIe concepLIon oI LIe mereIy personuI, Ideus oI IImILIess subjecLIvILy und oI rudIcuI IurmonIc wIII
Lo expressIon, In conLrusL Lo poIypIonIc objecLIvILy (KreLscImur wus concerned Lo Iuve us
Impress upon our mInds LIIs dIsLIncLIon beLween IurmonIc subjecLIvILy und poIypIonIc
objecLIvILy) und LIIs equuLIon, LIIs conLrusL, Iere us uILogeLIer In LIe musLerIy IuLe works, wouId
sImpIy noL uppIy. As u muLLer oI IucL, BeeLIoven Iud been Iur more "subjecLIve," noL Lo suy Iur
more "personuI," In IIs mIddIe perIod LIun In IIs IusL, Iud been Iur more benL on LukIng uII LIe
nourIsIes, IormuIus, und convenLIons, oI wIIcI musIc Is cerLuInIy IuII, und consumIng LIem In
LIe personuI expressIon, meILIng LIem InLo LIe subjecLIve dynumIc. TIe reIuLIon oI LIe IuLer
BeeLIoven Lo LIe convenLIonuI, suy In LIe IusL IIve pIuno sonuLus, Is, despILe uII LIe unIqueness
und even uncunnIness oI LIe IormuI Iunguuge, quILe dIIIerenL, mucI more compIuIsunL und eusy-
goIng. UnLoucIed, unLrunsIormed by LIe subjecLIve, convenLIon oILen uppeured In LIe IuLe works,
In u buIdness, one mIgIL suy exIuusLIveness, un ubundonmenL oI seII, wILI un eIIecL more
mujesLIc und uwIuI LIun uny reckIess pIunge InLo LIe personuI. ¡n LIese Iorms, suId LIe speuker,
LIe subjecLIve und LIe convenLIonuI ussumed u new reIuLIonsIIp, condILIoned by deuLI.
AL LIIs word KreLscImur sLuLLered vIoIenLIy; sLIckIng IusL uL LIe IIrsL sound und execuLIng u
sorL oI mucIIne-gun IIre wILI IIs Longue on LIe rooI oI IIs mouLI, wILI juw und cIIn boLI quIver-
Ing, beIore LIey seLLIed on LIe voweI wIIcI LoId us wIuL Ie meunL. BuL wIen we Iud guessed IL, IL
seemed IurdIy proper Lo Luke IL ouL oI IIs mouLI und sIouL IL Lo IIm, us we someLImes dId, In
jovIuI IeIpIuIness. He Iud Lo suy IL IImseII und Ie dId. WIere greuLness und deuLI come
LogeLIer, Ie decIured, LIere urIses un objecLIvILy LendIng Lo LIe convenLIonuI, wIIcI In ILs mujesLy
Ieuves LIe mosL domIneerIng subjecLIvILy Iur beIInd, becuuse LIereIn LIe mereIy personuI -
wIIcI Iud uILer uII been LIe surmounLIng oI u LrudILIon uIreudy brougIL Lo ILs peuk - once more
ouLgrew ILseII, In LIuL IL enLered InLo LIe myLIIcuI, LIe coIIecLIveIy greuL und supernuLuruI.
He dId noL usk II we undersLood LIuL, nor dId we usk ourseIves. WIen Ie guve IL us IIs vIew
LIuL LIe muIn poInL wus Lo Ieur IL, we IuIIy ugreed. ¡L wus In LIe IIgIL oI wIuL Ie Iud suId, Ie wenL
on, LIuL LIe work Ie wus speukIng oI In purLIcuIur, SonuLu Op. 111, wus Lo be regurded. And LIen
Ie suL down uL LIe coLLuge pIuno und pIuyed us LIe wIoIe composILIon ouL oI IIs Ieud, LIe IIrsL
und LIe IncredIbIe second movemenL, sIouLIng IIs commenLs InLo LIe mIdsL oI IIs pIuyIng und In
order Lo muke us conscIous oI LIe LreuLmenL demonsLruLIng Iere und LIere In IIs enLIusIusm by
sIngIng us weII; uILogeLIer IL mude u specLucIe purLIy enLruncIng, purLIy Iunny; und repeuLedIy
greeLed wILI merrImenL by IIs IILLIe uudIence. ¡or us Ie Iud u very powerIuI uLLuck und
exuggeruLed LIe jorte, Ie Iud Lo sIrIek exLru Ioud Lo muke wIuL Ie suId IuIIwuy InLeIIIgIbIe und
Lo sIng wILI uII LIe sLrengLI oI IIs Iungs Lo empIusIze vocuIIy wIuL Ie pIuyed. WILI IIs IIps Ie
ImILuLed wIuL LIe Iunds pIuyed. "Tum-Lum, Lum-Lum, Lum-Lr-r!" Ie wenL, us Ie pIuyed LIe grIm
und sLurLIIng IIrsL noLes oI LIe IIrsL movemenL; Ie sung In u IIgI IuIseLLo LIe pussuges oI meIodIc
IoveIIness by wIIcI LIe ruvuged und LempesLuous skIes oI LIe composILIon ure uL InLervuIs
brIgILened us LIougI by IuInL gIImpses oI IIgIL. AL IusL Ie IuId IIs Iunds In IIs Iup, wus quIeL u
momenL, und LIen suId: "Here IL comes!" und begun LIe vurIuLIons movemenL, LIe "cdcçio molto
semplice e ccntcbile."
TIe urIeLLu LIeme, desLIned Lo vIcIssILudes Ior wIIcI In ILs IdyIIIc Innocence IL wouId seem noL
Lo be born, Is presenLed uL once, und unnounced In sIxLeen burs, reducIbIe Lo u moLII wIIcI
uppeurs uL LIe end oI ILs IIrsL IuII, IIke u brIeI souI-cry - onIy LIree noLes, u quuver, u
semIquuver, und u doLLed croLcIeL Lo be scunned us, suy: "Ieuv-en's bIue, Iov-ers' puIn, Iure-LIee
weII, on u-LIme, meud-ow-Iund" - und LIuL Is uII. WIuL now Iuppens Lo LIIs mIId uLLerunce,
rIyLImIcuIIy, IurmonIcuIIy, conLrupunLuIIy, Lo LIIs pensIve, subdued IormuIuLIon, wILI wIuL ILs
musLer bIesses und Lo wIuL condemns IL, InLo wIuL bIuck nIgILs und duzzIIng IIusIes, crysLuI
spIeres wIereIn coIdness und IeuL, repose und ecsLusy ure one und LIe sume, Ie IIIngs IL down
und IIILs IL up, uII LIuL one muy weII cuII vusL, sLrunge, exLruvugunLIy mugnIIIcenL, wILIouL LIereby
gIvIng IL u nume, becuuse IL Is quILe LruIy numeIess; und wILI IubourIng Iunds KreLscImur pIuyed
us uII LIose enormous LrunsIormuLIons, sIngIng uL LIe sume LIme wILI LIe greuLesL vIoIence:
"DIm-dudu!" und mIngIIng IIs sIngIng wILI sIouLs. "TIese cIuIns oI LrIIIs!" Ie yeIIed. "TIese
IIourIsIes und cudenzus! Do you Ieur LIe convenLIons LIuL ure IeIL In? Here - LIe Iunguuge - Is
no Ionger - purIIIed oI LIe IIourIsIes - buL LIe IIourIsIes - oI LIe uppeurunce - oI LIeIr
subjecLIve - domInuLIon - LIe uppeurunce - oI urL Is LIrown oII - uL IusL - urL uIwuys LIrows
oII LIe uppeurunce oI urL. DIm-dudu! Do IIsLen, Iow Iere - LIe meIody Is drugged down by LIe
cenLrIIuguI weIgIL oI cIords! ¡L becomes sLuLIc, monoLonous- LwIce D, LIree LImes D, one uILer
LIe oLIer - LIe cIords do IL - dIm-dudu! Now noLIce wIuL Iuppens Iere - "
¡L wus exLruordInurIIy dIIIIcuIL Lo IIsLen Lo IIs sIouLs und Lo LIe IIgIIy compIIcuLed musIc boLI
uL once. We uII LrIed. We sLruIned, IeunIng Iorwurd, Iunds beLween knees, IookIng by Lurn uL IIs
Iunds und IIs mouLI. TIe cIurucLerIsLIc oI LIe movemenL oI course Is LIe wIde gup beLween buss
und LrebIe, beLween LIe rIgIL und LIe IeIL Iund, und u momenL comes, un uLLerIy exLreme sILuu-
LIon, wIen LIe poor IILLIe moLII seems Lo Iover uIone und Iorsuken ubove u gIddy yuwnIng ubyss
- u procedure oI uwe-InspIrIng un-eurLIIIness, Lo wIIcI LIen succeeds u dIsLressIuI mukIng-oI-
ILseII-smuII, u sLurL oI Ieur us IL were, LIuL sucI u LIIng couId Iuppen. MucI eIse Iuppens beIore
LIe end. BuL wIen IL ends und wIIIe IL ends, someLIIng comes, uILer so mucI ruge, persIsLence,
obsLInucy, exLruvugunce: someLIIng enLIreIy unexpecLed und LoucIIng In ILs mIIdness und
goodness. WILI LIe moLII pussed LIrougI muny vIcIssILudes, wIIcI Lukes Ieuve und so doIng
becomes ILseII enLIreIy Ieuve-LukIng, u purLIng wuve und cuII, wILI LIIs D G G occurs u sIIgIL
cIunge, IL experIences u smuII meIodIc expunsIon. AILer un InLroducLory C, IL puLs u C sIurp
beIore LIe D, so LIuL IL no Ionger scuns "Ieuv-en's bIue," "meud-owIund," buL "O-LIou Ieuven's
bIue," "Green-esL meudowIund," "¡ure-LIee weII Ior uye," und LIIs udded C sIurp Is LIe mosL
movIng, consoIuLory, puLIeLIcuIIy reconcIIIng LIIng In LIe worId. ¡L Is IIke IuvIng one's IuIr or
cIeek sLroked, IovIngIy, undersLundIngIy, IIke u deep und sIIenL IureweII Iook. ¡L bIesses LIe
objecL, LIe IrIgILIuIIy IurrIed IormuIuLIon, wILI overpowerIng IumunILy, IIes In purLIng so genLIy
on LIe Ieurer's IeurL In eLernuI IureweII LIuL LIe eyes run over. "Now Ior-geL LIe puIn," IL suys.
"GreuL wus - God In us." "Twus uII - buL u dreum," "¡rIendIy - be Lo me." TIen IL breuks oII.
QuIck, Iurd LrIpIeLs IusLen Lo u concIusIon wILI wIIcI uny oLIer pIece mIgIL Iuve ended.
KreLscImur dId noL reLurn Irom LIe pIuno Lo IIs desk. He suL on IIs revoIvIng sLooI wILI IIs
Iuce Lurned Lowurds us, In LIe sume posILIon us ours, benL over, Iunds beLween IIs knees, und In
u Iew words brougIL Lo un end IIs IecLure on wIy BeeLIoven Iud noL wrILLen u LIIrd movemenL
Lo Op. In. We Iud onIy needed, Ie suId, Lo Ieur LIe pIece Lo unswer LIe quesLIon ourseIves. A
LIIrd movemenL? A new upproucI? A reLurn uILer LIIs purLIng - ImpossIbIe! ¡L Iud Iuppened
LIuL LIe sonuLu Iud come, In LIe second, enormous movemenL, Lo un end, un end wILIouL uny
reLurn. And wIen Ie suId "LIe sonuLu," Ie meunL noL onIy LIIs one In C mInor, buL LIe sonuLu In
generuI, us u specIes, us LrudILIonuI urL-Iorm; IL ILseII wus Iere uL un end, brougIL Lo ILs end, IL Iud
IuIIIIIed ILs desLIny, reucIed ILs gouI, beyond wIIcI LIere wus no goIng, IL cunceIIed und resoIved
ILseII, IL Look Ieuve - LIe gesLure oI IureweII oI LIe D G G moLII, consoIed by LIe C sIurp, wus u
Ieuve-LukIng In LIIs sense Loo, greuL us LIe wIoIe pIece ILseII, LIe IureweII oI LIe sonuLu Iorm.
WILI LIIs KreLscImur wenL uwuy, uccompunIed by LIIn buL proIonged uppIuuse, und we wenL
Loo, noL u IILLIe reIIecLIve, weIgIed down by uII LIese noveILIes. MosL oI us, us usuuI, us we puL on
our couLs und IuLs und wuIked ouL, Iummed bemusedIy Lo ourseIves LIe ImpressIon oI LIe
evenIng, LIe LIeme-generuLIng moLII oI LIe second movemenL, In ILs orIgInuI und ILs Ieuve-LukIng
Iorm, und Ior u Iong LIme we Ieurd IL IIke un ecIo Irom LIe remoLer sLreeLs InLo wIIcI LIe
uudIence dIspersed, LIe quIeL nIgIL sLreeLs oI LIe IILLIe Lown: "¡ure - LIee weII," "Iure LIee weII
Ior uye," "GreuL wus God In us."
TIuL wus noL LIe IusL LIme we Ieurd LIe sLuLLerer on BeeLIoven. He spoke uguIn soon, LIIs LIme
on "BeeLIoven und LIe ¡ugue." TIIs IecLure Loo ¡ remember quILe cIeurIy, und see LIe unnounce-
menL beIore me, perIecLIy uwure LIuL IL, us IILLIe us LIe oLIer, wus IIkeIy Lo produce In LIe IuII oI
LIe "Common WeuI" uny crowd so Iurge us Lo endunger IIIe und IImb. BuL our IILLIe group goL
Irom LIIs evenIng Loo LIe mosL posILIve pIeusure und proIIL. AIwuys, we were LoId, LIe opponenLs
und rIvuIs oI LIe boId InnovuLor usserLed LIuL BeeLIoven couId noL wrILe u Iugue. "TIuL Ie jusL
cunnoL," LIey suId, und probubIy LIey knew wIuL LIey were LuIkIng ubouL, Ior LIIs respecLubIe
urL-Iorm sLood uL LIe LIme In IIgI Ionour, und no composer Iound Iuvour In LIe IIgI courL oI
musIc or suLIsIIed LIe communds oI LIe poLenLuLes und greuL genLIemen wIo Issued LIem II Ie
dId noL sLund IIs mun In LIe perIecLIon oI LIe Iugue. PrInce EsLerIuzy wus un especIuI IrIend oI
LIIs musLer urL, buL In LIe Muss In C wIIcI BeeLIoven wroLe Ior IIm, LIe composer, uILer
unsuccessIuI uLLempLs, Iud noL urrIved uL u Iugue; even socIuIIy consIdered, LIuL wus u
dIscourLesy, buL urLIsLIcuIIy IL Iud been un unpurdonubIe Iuck, und LIe oruLorIo Christ on the
Mount oj Dlites uILogeLIer Iucked uny Iugue Iorm, uILIougI IL wouId Iuve been mosL proper
LIere. SucI u IeebIe eIIorL us LIe Iugue In LIe LIIrd quurLeL oI Op. ¸q wus noL cuIcuIuLed Lo
counLerucL LIe vIew LIuL LIe greuL mun wus u bud conLrupunLIsL - In wIIcI LIe opInIon oI LIe
uuLIorILuLIve musIcuI worId couId onIy Iuve been sLrengLIened by LIe pussuges In Iugue Iorm In
LIe IuneruI murcI In LIe "Eroicc" und LIe AIIegreLLo oI LIe A mujor SympIony. And now LIe
cIosIng movemenL oI LIe CeIIo SonuLu In D, Op. 1oz, superscrIbed "AIIegro IuguLo"! TIe ouLcry,
LIe IIsL-sIukIng, Iud been greuL, KreLscImur LoId us. UncIeur Lo LIe poInL oI unenjoyubIeness,
LIuL wus wIuL LIey Luxed LIe wIoIe wILI beIng; buL uL IeusL Ior LwenLy burs Iong, LIey suId, LIere
reIgned sucI scunduIous conIusIon - prIncIpuIIy In consequence oI Loo sLrongIy coIoured
moduIuLIons - LIuL uILer IL one couId cIose LIe cuse Ior LIe IncupucILy oI LIIs mun Lo wrILe In LIe
"sLrIcL sLyIe."
¡ InLerrupL myseII In my reproducLIon Lo remurk LIuL LIe IecLurer wus LuIkIng ubouL muLLers
und LIIngs In LIe worId oI urL, sILuuLIons LIuL Iud never come wILIIn our IorIzon und onIy up-
peured now on ILs murgIn In sIudowy wIse LIrougI LIe uIwuys compromIsed medIum oI IIs
speecI. We were unubIe Lo cIeck up on IL excepL LIrougI IIs own expIunuLory perIormunces on
LIe coLLuge pIuno, und we IIsLened Lo IL uII wILI LIe dImIy excILed IunLusy oI cIIIdren IeurIng u
IuIry-sLory LIey do noL undersLund, wIIIe LIeIr Lender mInds ure none LIe Iess In u sLrunge,
dreumy, InLuILIve wuy enrIcIed und udvunLuged. ¡ugue, counLerpoInL, "Eroicc," "conIusIon In
consequence oI Loo sLrongIy coIoured moduIuLIons," "sLrIcL sLyIe" - uII LIuL wus jusL mugIc speIIs
Lo us, buL we Ieurd IL us greedIIy, us Iurge-eyed, us cIIIdren uIwuys Ieur wIuL LIey do noL
undersLund or wIuL Is even enLIreIy unsuILubIe - Indeed, wILI Iur more pIeusure LIun LIe
IumIIIur, IILLIng, und udequuLe cun gIve LIem. ¡s IL beIIevubIe LIuL LIIs Is LIe mosL InLensIve,
spIendId, perIups LIe very mosL producLIve wuy oI IeurnIng: LIe unLIcIpuLory wuy, IeurnIng LIuL
spuns wIde sLreLcIes oI Ignorunce? As u pedugogue ¡ suppose ¡ sIouId noL speuk In ILs beIuII; buL
¡ do know LIuL IL proIILs youLI exLruordInurIIy. And ¡ beIIeve LIuL LIe sLreLcIes jumped over IIII In
oI LIemseIves In LIme.
BeeLIoven, LIen, so we Ieurd, wus repuLed noL Lo be ubIe Lo wrILe u Iugue; und now LIe
quesLIon wus Iow Iur LIIs muIIcIous crILIcIsm wus Lrue. ObvIousIy Ie Iud Luken puIns Lo reIuLe IL.
SeveruI LImes Ie Iud wrILLen Iugues InLo IIs IuLer pIuno musIc, und Indeed In LIree voIces: In LIe
"Hcmmerllctier" SonuLu us weII us LIe one In A mujor. Once Ie Iud udded: "wILI some
IIberLIes" ("mit einiçen Ireiheiten"), In Loken LIuL LIe ruIes Ie Iud oIIended uguInsL were weII
known Lo IIm. WIy Ie Ignored LIem, wIeLIer urbILrurIIy or becuuse Ie Iud noL munuged IL,
remuIned u vexed quesLIon. And LIen Iud come LIe greuL Iugue overLure, Op. 1zq, und LIe
mujesLIc Iugues In LIe GIorIu und LIe Credo In evIdence uL IusL LIuL In LIe sLruggIe wILI LIIs ungeI
LIe greuL wresLIer Iud conquered, even LIougI LIereuILer Ie IuILed on IIs LIIgI.
KreLscImur LoId us u IrIgILIuI sLory, ImpressIng upon our mInds un unIorgeLLubIe und uwIuI
pIcLure oI LIe sucred LrIuIs oI LIIs sLruggIe und LIe person oI LIe uIIIIcLed urLIsL. ¡L wus In IIgI
summer oI LIe yeur 181q, uL LIe LIme wIen BeeLIoven wus workIng on LIe Missc solemnis In LIe
HuIIner Iouse uL ModIIng, In despuIr becuuse eucI movemenL Lurned ouL mucI Ionger LIun Ie
Iud unLIcIpuLed, so LIuL LIe duLe oI compIeLIon, MurcI oI LIe IoIIowIng yeur, In wIIcI LIe
InsLuIIuLIon oI LIe ArcIduke RudoII us BIsIop oI OImuLz wus Lo Luke pIuce, couId noL possIbIy be
kepL Lo. ¡L wus LIen LIuL Lwo IrIends und proIessIonuI coIIeugues vIsILed IIm one uILernoon und
Iound un uIurmIng sLuLe oI LIIngs. TIuL sume mornIng LIe musLer's Lwo muIds Iud mude oII, Ior
LIe nIgIL beIore, uL ubouL one o'cIock, LIere Iud been u IurIous quurreI, rousIng LIe wIoIe Iouse
Irom sIumber. TIe musLer Iud wrougIL IuLe InLo LIe nIgIL, on LIe Credo, LIe Credo wILI LIe
Iugue, wILIouL u LIougIL oI LIe meuI LIuL sLood wuILIng on LIe IeurLI; wIIIe LIe muIds, yIeIdIng
Lo nuLure, Iud uL IusL IuIIen usIeep. WIen LIe musLer, beLween LweIve und one, demunded
someLIIng Lo euL, Ie Iound LIe muIds usIeep, LIe Iood burnL und drIed up. He Iud bursL InLo LIe
mosL vIoIenL ruge, spurIng LIe nIgILIy resL oI LIe Iouse LIe Iess becuuse Ie IImseII couId noL Ieur
LIe noIse Ie mude. "CouId you noL wuLcI one Iour wILI me?" Ie kepL LIunderIng. BuL IL Iud
been IIve or sIx Iours, und LIe ouLruged muIdservunLs Iud IIed uL duwn, IeuvIng sucI un III-
Lempered musLer Lo IImseII, so LIuL Ie Iud Iud no mIdduy meuI eILIer - noLIIng uL uII sInce LIe
mIddIe-duy beIore. ¡nsLeud Ie worked In IIs room on LIe Credo, LIe Credo wILI LIe Iugue - LIe
young ones Ieurd IIm LIrougI LIe cIosed door. TIe deuI mun sung, Ie yeIIed und sLumped ubove
LIe Credo- IL wus so movIng und LerrIIyIng LIuL LIe bIood Iroze In LIeIr veIns us LIey IIsLened.
BuL us In LIeIr greuL concern LIey were ubouL Lo reLreuL, LIe door wus jerked open und BeeLIoven
sLood LIere - In wIuL guIse? TIe very mosL IrIgILIuI! WILI cIoLIIng dIsIeveIIed, IIs IeuLures so
dIsLorLed us Lo sLrIke Lerror Lo LIe beIoIders; LIe eyes duzed, ubsenL, IIsLenIng, uII uL once; Ie Iud
sLured uL LIem, LIey goL LIe ImpressIon LIuL Ie Iud come ouL oI u IIIe-und-deuLI sLruggIe wILI uII
LIe opposIng IosLs oI counLerpoInL. He Iud sLummered someLIIng unInLeIIIgIbIe, und LIen bursL
ouL compIuInIng und scoIdIng uL LIe IIne kInd oI IousekeepIng Ie Iud, und Iow everybody Iud
run uwuy und IeIL IIm Lo sLurve. TIey Iud LrIed Lo pucIIy IIm, one oI LIem IeIped IIm Lo puL IIs
cIoLIIng Lo rIgILs, LIe oLIer run Lo LIe Inn Lo geL IIm some soIId Iood... OnIy LIree yeurs IuLer wus
LIe Muss IInIsIed.
TIus KreLscImur, on "BeeLIoven und LIe ¡ugue"; und cerLuInIy IL guve us muLLer Ior LuIk on
LIe wuy Iome - ground Loo Ior beIng sIIenL LogeLIer und Ior vugue und sIIenL reIIecLIon upon LIe
new, LIe Iur, und LIe greuL, wIIcI someLImes gIIbIy runnIng on, someLImes uppuIIIngIy Impeded,
Iud peneLruLed InLo our souIs. ¡ suy InLo ours, buL IL Is oI course onIy AdrIun's LIuL ¡ Iuve In
mInd. WIuL ¡ Ieurd, wIuL ¡ Look In, Is quILe IrreIevunL.
WIuL prIncIpuIIy Impressed IIm, us ¡ Ieurd wIIIe we were wuIkIng Iome, und uIso nexL duy In
LIe scIooI courLyurd, wus KreLscImur's dIsLIncLIon beLween cuIL epocIs und cuILuruI epocIs, und
IIs remurk LIuL LIe secuIurIzuLIon oI urL, ILs sepuruLIon Irom dIvIne servIce, bore onIy u
superIIcIuI und epIsodIc cIurucLer. TIe pupII oI LIe upper scIooI uppeured Lo be sLruck by LIe
LIougIL, wIIcI LIe IecLurer Iud noL expressed uL uII buL Iud kIndIed In IIm, LIuL LIe sepuruLIon
oI urL Irom LIe IILurgIcuI wIoIe, ILs IIberuLIon und eIevuLIon InLo LIe IndIvIduuI und cuILuruIIy seII-
purposIve, Iud Iuden IL wILI un IrreIevunL soIemnILy, un ubsoIuLe serIousness, u puLIos oI
suIIerIng, wIIcI wus Imuged In BeeLIoven's IrIgILIuI uppurILIon In LIe doorwuy, und wIIcI dId
noL need Lo be ILs ubIdIng desLIny, ILs permunenL InLeIIecLuuI consLILuLIon. Heurken Lo LIe youLI!
SLIII uImosL wILIouL uny reuI or prucLIcuI experIence In LIe IIeId oI urL, Ie specuIuLed In LIe voId
und In precocIous Iunguuge on LIe probubIy ImmInenL reLreuL Irom ILs presenL roIe Lo u more
modesL, IuppIer one In LIe servIce oI u IIgIer unIon, wIIcI dId noL need Lo be, us IL once wus, LIe
CIurcI. WIuL IL wouId be Ie couId noL suy. BuL LIuL LIe cuILuruI Ideu wus u IIsLorIcuIIy LrunsILory
pIenomenon, LIuL IL couId Iose ILseII uguIn In unoLIer one, LIuL LIe IuLure dId noL InevILubIy
beIong Lo IL, LIIs LIougIL Ie Iud cerLuInIy sIngIed ouL Irom KreLscImur's IecLure.
"BuL LIe uILernuLIve," ¡ LIrew In, "Lo cuILure Is burburIsm."
"PermIL me," suId Ie. "AILer uII, burburIsm Is LIe opposILe oI cuILure onIy wILIIn LIe order oI
LIougIL wIIcI IL gIves us. OuLsIde oI IL LIe opposILe muy be someLIIng quILe dIIIerenL or no op-
posILe uL uII."
¡ ImILuLed ¡ucu CImubue, suyIng: "SunLu MurIu!" und crossIng myseII. He guve IIs sIorL IuugI.
AnoLIer LIme Ie usserLed:
"¡or u cuILuruI epocI, LIere seems Lo me Lo be u spoL Loo mucI LuIk ubouL cuILure In ours, don'L
you LIInk? ¡'d IIke Lo know wIeLIer epocIs LIuL possessed cuILure knew LIe word uL uII, or used
IL. NuIveLe, unconscIousness, Luken-Ior-grunLedness, seems Lo me Lo be LIe IIrsL crILerIon oI LIe
consLILuLIon Lo wIIcI we gIve LIIs nume. WIuL we ure IosIng Is jusL LIIs nuIveLe, und LIIs Iuck, II
one muy so speuk oI IL, proLecLs us Irom muny u coIourIuI burburIsm wIIcI uILogeLIer perIecLIy
ugreed wILI cuILure, even wILI very IIgI cuILure. ¡ meun: our sLuge Is LIuL oI cIvIIIzuLIon - u very
pruIseworLIy sLuLe no doubL, buL uIso neILIer wus LIere uny doubL LIuL we sIouId Iuve Lo become
very mucI more burburIc Lo be cupubIe oI cuILure uguIn. TecInIque und comIorL - In LIuL sLuLe
one LuIks ubouL cuILure buL one Ius noL goL IL. WIII you prevenL me Irom seeIng In LIe
IomopIone-meIodIc consLILuLIon oI our musIc u condILIon oI musIcuI cIvIIIzuLIon - In conLrusL
Lo LIe oId conLrupunLuI poIypIone cuILure?"
¡n sucI LuIk, wILI wIIcI Ie Leused und IrrILuLed me, LIere wus mucI LIuL wus mereIy ImILuLIve.
BuL Ie Iud u wuy oI udupLIng wIuL Ie pIcked up und gIvIng IL u personuI cIurucLer wIIcI Look
Irom IIs udupLuLIons unyLIIng LIuL mIgIL sound rIdIcuIous, II noL everyLIIng boyIsI und
derIvuLIve. He commenLed u good deuI Loo - or we commenLed In IIveIy excIunge - on u IecLure
oI KreLscImur's cuIIed "MusIc und LIe Eye" - IIkewIse un oIIerIng wIIcI deserved u Iurger
uudIence. As LIe LILIe IndIcuLes, our IecLurer spoke oI IIs urL In so Iur us - or ruLIer, uIso us - IL
uppeuIs Lo LIe sense oI sIgIL, wIIcI, so Ie deveIoped IIs LIeme, IL does In LIuL one puLs IL down,
LIrougI LIe noLuLIon, LIe LonuI wrILIng wIIcI - sInce LIe duys oI LIe oId neumes, LIose
urrungemenLs oI sLrokes und poInLs, wIIcI Iud more or Iess IndIcuLed LIe IIow oI sound - Iud
been prucLIsed wILI growIng cure und puIns. HIs demonsLruLIon becume very dIverLIng, und
IIkewIse IIuLLerIng, sInce IL ussumed In us u cerLuIn upprenLIce und brusI-wusIer InLImucy wILI
musIc. Muny u Lurn oI pIruse In musIcIun's jurgon cume noL Irom LIe ucousLIc buL LIe vIsuuI, LIe
noLe-pIcLure: Ior InsLunce, one speuks oI occhicli becuuse LIe broken drum-busses, IuII-noLes
LIuL ure coupIed by u sLroke LIrougI LIeIr necks, Iook IIke u puIr oI specLucIes; or us one cuIIs
"cobbIer's puLcIes" (rosclic) cerLuIn cIeup sequences one uILer unoLIer In sLuges uL IIke InLervuIs
(Ie wroLe exumpIes Ior us on LIe bIuckbourd). He spoke oI LIe mere uppeurunce oI musIcuI
noLuLIon, und ussured us LIuL u knowIedgeubIe person couId geL Irom one Iook uL LIe noLuLIon u
decIsIve ImpressIon oI LIe spIrIL und vuIue oI u composILIon. TIus IL Iud once Iuppened Lo IIm
LIuL u coIIeugue, vIsILIng IIs room wIere un unInspIred work submILLed Lo IIm by u dIIeLLunLe
wus spreud ouL on LIe desk, Iud sIouLed: "WeII, Ior Ieuven's suke, wIuL sorL oI LrIpe Is LIuL
you've goL LIere?" On LIe oLIer Iund Ie skeLcIed Ior us LIe encIunLIng pIeusure wIIcI even LIe
vIsuuI pIcLure oI u score by MozurL uIIorded Lo LIe prucLIsed eye; LIe cIurILy oI LIe LexLure, LIe
beuuLIIuI dIsposILIon oI LIe InsLrumenLuI groups, LIe IngenIous und vurIed wrILIng oI LIe meIodIc
IIne. A deuI mun, Ie crIed, quILe IgnorunL oI sound, couId noL buL deIIgIL In LIese grucIous
vIsIons. "To Ieur wILI eyes beIongs Lo Iove's IIne wIL," Ie quoLed Irom u SIukespeure sonneL, und
usserLed LIuL In uII LIme composers Iud secreLIy nesLed In LIeIr wrILIngs LIIngs LIuL were meunL
more Ior LIe reudIng eye LIun Ior LIe eur. WIen, Ior InsLunce, LIe DuLcI musLers oI poIypIony In
LIeIr endIess devIces Ior LIe crossIng oI purLs Iud so urrunged LIem conLrupunLuIIy LIuL one purL
Iud been IIke unoLIer wIen reud buckwurds; LIuL couId noL be perceIved by LIe wuy LIey ucLuuIIy
sounded, und Ie wouId wuger LIuL very Iew peopIe wouId Iuve deLecLed LIe LrIck by eur, Ior IL
wus InLended ruLIer Ior LIe eye oI LIe guIId. TIus OrIundus ¡ussus In LIe Mcrricçe ct Ccnc used
sIx voIces Lo represenL LIe sIx wuLer-jugs, wIIcI couId be beLLer perceIved by seeIng LIe musIc
LIun by IeurIng IL; und In LIe SL. JoIn PussIon by JoucIIm von Burck "one oI LIe servunLs," wIo
guve Jesus u sIup In LIe Iuce, Ius onIy one noLe, buL on LIe "ziteen" (Lwo) In LIe nexL pIruse,
"wILI IIm Lwo oLIers," LIere ure Lwo.
He produced severuI sucI PyLIugoreun jesLs, InLended more Ior LIe eye LIun LIe eur, wIIcI
musIc Iud now und uguIn been pIeused Lo muke und cume ouL roundIy wILI LIe sLuLemenL LIuL In
LIe IusL unuIysIs Ie uscrIbed Lo LIe urL u cerLuIn Inborn Iuck oI LIe sensuous, yes un unLI-
sensuuIILy, u sucreL Lendency Lo usceLIcIsm. MusIc wus ucLuuIIy LIe mosL InLeIIecLuuI oI uII LIe
urLs, us wus evIdenL Irom LIe IucL LIuL In IL, us In no oLIer, Iorm und conLenL ure InLerwoven und
ubsoIuLeIy one und LIe sume. We suy oI course LIuL musIc "uddresses ILseII Lo LIe eur"; buL IL does
so onIy In u quuIIIIed wuy, onIy In so Iur, numeIy, us LIe IeurIng, IIke LIe oLIer senses, Is LIe
depuLy, LIe InsLrumenL, und LIe receIver oI LIe mInd. PerIups, suId KreLscImur, IL wus musIc's
deepesL wIsI noL Lo be Ieurd uL uII, nor even seen, nor yeL IeIL; buL onIy - II LIuL were possIbIe -
In some Beyond, LIe oLIer sIde oI sense und senLImenL, Lo be perceIved und conLempIuLed us
pure mInd, pure spIrIL. BuL bound us sIe wus Lo LIe worId oI sense, musIc musL ever sLrIve uILer
LIe sLrongesL, yes, LIe mosL seducLIve sensuous reuIIzuLIon: sIe Is u Kundry, wIo wIIIs noL wIuL
sIe does und IIIngs soIL urms oI IusL round LIe neck oI LIe IooI. Her mosL powerIuI reuIIzuLIon Ior
LIe senses sIe IInds In orcIesLruI musIc, wIere LIrougI LIe eur sIe seems Lo uIIecL uII LIe senses
wILI Ier opIuLe wund und Lo mIngIe LIe pIeusures oI LIe reuIm oI sound wILI LIose oI coIour und
scenL. Here, rIgILIy, sIe wus LIe penILenL In LIe gurb oI LIe seducLress. BuL LIere wus un
InsLrumenL - LIuL Is Lo suy, u musIcuI meuns oI reuIIzuLIon - LIrougI wIIcI musIc, wIIIe
becomIng uudIbIe Lo LIe sense oI IeurIng, dId so In u IuII-unsensuous, un uImosL ubsLrucL wuy,
uudIbIe, LIuL Is, In u wuy pecuIIurIy suILed Lo ILs InLeIIecLuuI nuLure. He meunL LIe pIuno, un
InsLrumenL LIuL Is noL un InsLrumenL uL uII In LIe sense oI LIe oLIers, sInce uII specIuIIzuLIon Is
IoreIgn Lo IL. ¡L cun, Indeed, IIke LIem, be used In u soIo perIormunce und us u medIum oI
vIrLuosILy; buL LIuL Is LIe excepLIonuI cuse und speukIng very precIseIy u mIsuse. TIe pIuno,
properIy speukIng, Is LIe dIrecL und sovereIgn represenLuLIve oI musIc ILseII In ILs InLeIIecLuuIILy,
und Ior LIuL reuson one musL Ieurn IL. BuL pIuno Iessons sIouId noL be - or noL essenLIuIIy und
noL IIrsL und IusL - Iessons In u specIuI ubIIILy, buL Iessons In m-m -
"MusIc!" crIed u voIce Irom LIe LIny uudIence, Ior LIe speuker couId sImpIy noL geL LIe word
ouL, oILen us Ie Iud used IL beIore, buL kepL on mumbIIng LIe m.
"Yes, oI course," suId Ie, reIeused und reIIeved. Took u swuIIow oI wuLer und wenL IIs wuy.
BuL perIups ¡ muy be purdoned Ior IeLLIng IIm uppeur once more. ¡or ¡ um concerned wILI u
IourLI IecLure wIIcI Ie guve us, und ¡ wouId Iuve IeIL ouL one oI LIe oLIers II necessury, ruLIer
LIun LIIs, sInce no oLIer - noL Lo speuk oI myseII - mude sucI u deep ImpressIon on AdrIun.
¡ cunnoL recoIIecL ILs exucL LILIe. ¡L wus "TIe EIemenLuI In MusIc" or "MusIc und LIe EIemenLuI"
or "TIe EIemenLs oI MusIc" or someLIIng IIke LIuL. ¡n uny cuse LIe eIemenLuI, LIe prImILIve, LIe
prImevuI begInnIng, pIuyed LIe cIIeI roIe In IL, us weII us LIe Ideu LIuL umong uII LIe urLs IL wus
precIseIy musIc LIuL - wIuLever LIe rIcIIy compIIcuLed und IIneIy deveIoped und murveIIous
sLrucLure sIe Iud deveIoped InLo In LIe course oI LIe cenLurIes - Iud never goL rId oI u reIIgIous
uLLILude Lowurds Ier own begInnIngs; u pIous proneness Lo cuII LIem up In soIemn InvocuLIon -
In sIorL, Lo ceIebruLe Ier eIemenLs. SIe LIus ceIebruLes, Ie suId, Ier cosmIc upLILude Ior uIIegory;
Ior LIose eIemenLs were, us IL were, LIe IIrsL und sImpIesL muLerIuIs oI LIe worId, u puruIIeIIsm oI
wIIcI u pIIIosopIIzIng urLIsL oI u duy noL Iong gone by - IL wus Wugner uguIn oI wIom Ie spoke
- Iud sIrewdIy, perIups wILI somewIuL Loo mecIunIcuI, Loo IngenIous cIeverness, mude use, In
LIuL In IIs cosmogonIc myLI oI LIe Rinç Ie mude LIe busIc eIemenLs oI musIc one wILI LIose oI
LIe worId. To IIm LIe begInnIng oI uII LIIngs Iud ILs musIc: LIe musIc oI LIe begInnIng wus LIuL,
und uIso LIe begInnIng oI musIc, LIe E-IIuL mujor LrIud oI LIe IIowIng depLIs oI LIe RIIne, LIe
seven prImILIve cIords, ouL oI wIIcI, us LIougI ouL oI bIocks oI CycIopeun musonry, prImevuI
sLone, LIe "GoLLerburg" urose. SurpussIngIy brIIIIunL, In LIe grund sLyIe, Ie presenLed LIe
myLIoIogy oI musIc uL LIe sume LIme wILI LIuL oI LIe worId; In LIuL Ie bound LIe musIc Lo LIe
LIIngs und mude LIem express LIemseIves In musIc, Ie creuLed un uppuruLus oI sensuous
sImuILuneILy - mosL mugnIIIcenL und Ieuvy wILI meunIng, II u bIL Loo cIever uILer uII, In
compurIson wILI cerLuIn reveIuLIons oI LIe eIemenLuI In LIe urL oI LIe pure musIcIuns, BeeLIoven
und BucI; Ior exumpIe, In LIe preIude Lo LIe ceIIo suILe oI LIe IuLLer - uIso un E-IIuL mujor pIece,
buIIL up In prImILIve LrIuds. And Ie spoke oI AnLon Bruckner, wIo Ioved Lo reIresI IImseII uL LIe
orgun or pIuno by LIe sImpIe successIon oI LrIuds. "¡s LIere unyLIIng more IeurLIeIL, more
gIorIous," Ie wouId cry, "LIun sucI u progressIon oI mere LrIuds? ¡s IL noL IIke u purIIyIng buLI Ior
LIe mInd?" TIIs suyIng Loo, KreLscImur LIougIL, wus u pIece oI evIdence worLI LIInkIng ubouL,
Ior LIe Lendency oI musIc Lo pIunge buck InLo LIe eIemenLuI und udmIre IerseII In Ier prImILIve
begInnIngs.
Yes, LIe IecLurer crIed, IL Iuy In LIe very nuLure oI LIIs sInguIur urL LIuL IL wus uL uny momenL
cupubIe oI begInnIng uL LIe begInnIng, oI dIscoverIng ILseII uIresI ouL oI noLIIng, bure oI uII
knowIedge oI ILs pusL cuILuruI IIsLory, und oI creuLIng unew. ¡L wouId LIen run LIrougI LIe sume
prImILIve sLuges us In ILs IIsLorIcuI begInnIngs und couId on one sIorL course, upurL Irom LIe
muIn mussII oI ILs deveIopmenL, uIone und unIeeded by LIe worId, reucI mosL exLruordInury und
sInguIur IeIgILs. And now Ie LoId us u sLory wIIcI In LIe mosL IunLusLIc und suggesLIve wuy IILLed
InLo LIe Irume oI IIs presenL LIeme.
AL ubouL LIe mIddIe oI LIe eIgILeenLI cenLury LIere Iud IIourIsIed In IIs nuLIve Iome In
PennsyIvunIu u Germun communILy oI pIous IoIk beIongIng Lo LIe BupLIsL secL. TIeIr IeudIng und
spIrILuuIIy mosL respecLed members IIved ceIIbuLe IIves und Iud LIereIore been Ionoured wILI
LIe nume oI SoIILury BreLIren und SIsLers; buL LIe mujorILy oI LIem reconcIIed wILI LIe murrIed
sLuLe un exempIurIIy pure und godIy munner oI IIIe, sLrIcLIy reguIuLed, Iurd-workIng und
dIeLeLIcuIIy sound, IuII oI sucrIIIce und seII-dIscIpIIne. TIeIr seLLIemenLs Iud been Lwo: one cuIIed
EpIruLu, In ¡uncusLer CounLy, LIe oLIer In ¡runkIIn CounLy, cuIIed SnowIIII; und LIey Iud uII
Iooked up reverenLIy Lo LIeIr Ieud sIepIerd und spIrILuuI IuLIer, LIe Iounder oI LIe secL, u mun
numed BeIsseI, In wIose cIurucLer IervenL devoLIon Lo God mIngIed wILI LIe quuIILIes oI
IeudersIIp, und IunuLIc reIIgIosILy wILI u IIveIy und bIunL-spoken energy.
JoIunn Conrud BeIsseI Iud been born oI very poor purenLs uL EberbucI In LIe PuIuLInuLe und
eurIy orpIuned. He Iud Ieurned LIe buker's Lrude und us u rovIng journeymun Iud mude connec-
LIons wILI PIeLIsLs und devoLees oI LIe BupLIsL conIessIon, wIIcI Iud uwukened In IIm
sIumberIng IncIInuLIons Lowurds un expIIcIL servIce oI LIe LruLI und u IreeIy urIsIng convIcLIon oI
God. AII LIIs Iud brougIL IIm dungerousIy neur Lo u spIere regurded In IIs counLry us IereLIcuI,
und LIe LIIrLy-yeur-oId mun decIded Lo IIee Irom LIe InLoIerunce oI LIe OId WorId und emIgruLe
Lo AmerIcu. TIere, In vurIous pIuces, In GermunLown und ConesLogu, Ie worked Ior u wIIIe us u
weuver. TIen u IresI ImpuIse oI reIIgIous devoLIon cume over IIm und Ie Iud IoIIowed IIs
Inwurd voIce, IeudIng us u IermIL In LIe wIIderness un enLIreIy soIILury und meugre IIIe, IIxed onIy
upon God. BuL us IL wIII Iuppen LIuL IIIgIL Irom munkInd someLImes onIy InvoIves LIe more wILI
IumunILy LIe mun wIo IIees, so BeIsseI Iud soon seen IImseII surrounded by u Lroop oI
udmIrIng IoIIowers und ImILuLors oI IIs wuy oI IIIe, und InsLeud oI beIng Iree oI LIe worId, Ie Iud
unexpecLedIy become, In LIe LurnIng oI u Iund, LIe Ieud oI u communILy, wIIcI quIckIy
deveIoped InLo un IndependenL secL, LIe SevenLI-Duy AnubupLIsLs. He communded LIem LIe
more ubsoIuLeIy In LIuL, so Iur us Ie knew, Ie Iud never sougIL LIe IeudersIIp, buL wus ruLIer
cuIIed Lo IL uguInsL IIs InLenLIon und desIre.
BeIsseI Iud never enjoyed uny educuLIon worLI menLIonIng; buL In IIs uwukened sLuLe Ie Iud
musLered by IImseII LIe skIIIs oI reudIng und wrILIng, und us IIs mInd surged IIke LIe seu,
LumuILuous wILI mysLIcuI IeeIIngs und Ideus, LIe resuIL wus LIuL Ie IIIIed IIs oIIIce cIIeIIy us
wrILer und poeL und Ied LIe souIs oI IIs IIock: u sLreum oI dIducLIc prose und reIIgIous songs
poured Irom IIs pen Lo LIe edIIIcuLIon oI LIe breLIren In LIeIr sIIenL Iours und Lo LIe enrIcImenL
oI LIeIr servIces. HIs sLyIe wus IIgI-IIown und crypLIc, Iuden wILI meLupIor, obscure ScrIpLuruI
uIIusIons, und u sorL oI eroLIc symboIIsm. A LrucL on LIe SubbuLI, Mçstçrion Anomclics, und u
coIIecLIon oI nIneLy-nIne Mçsticcl cnd Verç Secret Scçinçs were LIe begInnIng. A serIes oI
Iymns IoIIowed on, wIIcI were Lo be sung Lo weII-known Europeun cIoruI meIodIes, und
uppeured In prInL under sucI LILIes us Sonçs jor God's Lote cnd Prcise, 1ccob's Plcce oj Struççle
cnd Eletction, Zionist Hill oj Incense. ¡L wus LIese IILLIe coIIecLIons LIuL u Iew yeurs IuLer,
enIurged und Improved, becume LIe oIIIcIuI song-book oI LIe SevenLI-Duy BupLIsLs oI EpIruLu,
wILI LIe sweeLIy mournIuI LILIe "Song oI LIe ¡oneIy und ¡orsuken TurLIe Dove, LIe CIrIsLIun
CIurcI." PrInLed und reprInLed, IurLIer enrIcIed by LIe emuIuLIve members oI LIe secL, sIngIe
und murrIed, men und even more women, LIe sLundurd work cIunged ILs LILIe und uIso uppeured
once us Mirccle Plcç in Pcrcdise. ¡L IInuIIy conLuIned noL Iess LIun seven Iundred und sevenLy
Iymns, umong LIem some wILI un enormous number oI sLunzus.
TIe songs were meunL Lo be sung, buL LIey Iucked musIc. TIey were new LexLs Lo oId Lunes und
were so used Ior yeurs by LIe communILy. BuL now u new InspIruLIon vIsILed JoIunn Conrud
BeIsseI. TIe spIrIL communded IIm Lo Luke Lo IImseII In uddILIon Lo LIe roIe oI poeL und propIeL
LIuL oI composer.
TIere Iud been u young mun sLuyIng uL EpIruLu, u young udepL oI LIe urL oI musIc, wIo IeId u
sIngIng-cIuss; BeIsseI Ioved Lo uLLend und IIsLen Lo LIe InsLrucLIon. He musL LIus Iuve mude LIe
dIscovery LIuL musIc uIIorded possIbIIILIes Ior LIe exLensIon und reuIIzuLIon oI LIe kIngdom oI LIe
spIrIL, In u wuy oI wIIcI young Herr ¡udwIg never dreumed. TIe exLruordInury mun's resoIve
wus swIILIy Iormed. No Ionger oI LIe youngesL, uIreudy Iur on In LIe IIILIes, Ie uppIIed IImseII Lo
work ouL u musIcuI LIeory oI IIs own, suILed Lo IIs specIuI requIremenLs. He puL LIe sIngIng-
LeucIer usIde und Look LIIngs IIrmIy In IIs own Iunds - wILI sucI success LIuL beIore Iong Ie
Iud mude musIc LIe mosL ImporLunL eIemenL In LIe reIIgIous IIIe oI LIe communILy.
MosL oI LIe cIoruIs, wIIcI Iud come over Irom Europe, seemed Lo IIm mucI Loo Iorced,
compIIcuLed, und urLIIIcIuI Lo serve Ior IIs IIock. He wunLed Lo do someLIIng new und beLLer und
Lo InuuguruLe u musIc beLLer unswerIng Lo LIe sImpIIcILy oI LIeIr souIs und enubIIng LIem by
prucLIce Lo brIng IL Lo LIeIr own sImpIe perIecLIon. An IngenIous und prucLIcuI LIeory oI meIody
wus swIILIy und boIdIy resoIved on. He decreed LIuL LIere sIouId be "musLers" und "servunLs" In
every scuIe. HuvIng decIded Lo regurd LIe common cIord us LIe meIodIc cenLre oI uny gIven key,
Ie cuIIed "musLers" LIe noLes beIongIng Lo LIIs cIord, und LIe resL oI LIe scuIe "servunLs." And
LIose syIIubIes oI u LexL upon wIIcI LIe. uccenL Iuy Iud uIwuys Lo be presenLed by u "musLer," LIe
unuccenLed by u "servunL."
As Ior LIe Iurmony, Ie mude use oI u summury procedure. He mude cIord-LubIes Ior uII
possIbIe keys, wILI LIe IeIp oI wIIcI unybody couId wrILe ouL IIs Lunes comIorLubIy enougI, In
Iour or IIve purLs; und LIus Ie cuused u perIecL ruge Ior composILIon In LIe communILy. Soon
LIere wus no Ionger u sIngIe SevenLI-Duy BupLIsL, wIeLIer muIe or IemuIe, wIo, LIus ussIsLed,
Iud noL ImILuLed LIe musLer und composed musIc.
RIyLIm wus now LIe purL oI LIeory wIIcI remuIned Lo be deuIL wILI by LIIs redoubLubIe mun.
He uccompIIsIed IL wILI consummuLe success. He puInsLukIngIy IoIIowed wILI LIe musIc LIe
cudence oI LIe words, sImpIy by provIdIng LIe uccenLed syIIubIes wILI Ionger noLes, und gIvIng
LIe unuccenLed sIorLer ones. To esLubIIsI u IIxed reIuLIon beLween LIe vuIues oI LIe noLes dId noL
occur Lo IIm; und jusL Ior LIuL reuson Ie preserved consIderubIe IIexIbIIILy Ior IIs meLre. ¡Ike
prucLIcuIIy uII LIe musIc oI IIs LIme IL wus wrILLen In recurrenL meLres oI IIke IengLI - LIuL Is Lo
suy, In burs - buL Ie eILIer dId noL know LIIs or dId noL LroubIe ubouL IL. TIIs Ignorunce or
unconcern, Iowever, wus ubove uII eIse Lo IIs udvunLuge; Ior LIe Iree, IIucLuuLIng rIyLIm mude
some oI IIs composILIons, purLIcuIurIy IIs seLLIng oI prose, exLruordInurIIy eIIecLIve.
TIIs mun cuILIvuLed LIe IIeId oI musIc, once Ie Iud enLered IL, wILI LIe sume persIsLence wILI
wIIcI Ie Iud pursued uII oI IIs oLIer uIms. He puL LogeLIer IIs LIougILs on LIeory und
pubIIsIed LIem us u preIuce Lo LIe book oI LIe Turtle Dote. ¡n unInLerrupLed uppIIcuLIon Ie
provIded wILI musIcuI seLLIngs uII LIe poems In LIe Mount oj Incense, some oI LIem wILI Lwo or
LIree, und seL Lo musIc uII LIe Iymns Ie Iud IImseII ever wrILLen, us weII us u greuL muny by IIs
pupIIs. NoL suLIsIIed wILI LIuL, Ie wroLe u number oI more exLended cIoruIs, wILI LexLs Luken
dIrecL Irom LIe BIbIe. ¡L seemed us LIougI Ie wus ubouL Lo seL Lo musIc uccordIng Lo IIs own
receIpL LIe wIoIe oI LIe ScrIpLures; cerLuInIy Ie wus LIe mun Lo conceIve sucI u pIun. ¡I IL dId noL
come Lo LIuL, IL wus onIy becuuse Ie Iud Lo devoLe u Iurge purL oI IIs LIme Lo LIe perIormunce oI
wIuL Ie Iud done, LIe LruInIng In execuLIon und InsLrucLIon In sIngIng- und In LIIs IIeId Ie now
ucIIeved LIe sImpIy exLruordInury.
TIe musIc oI EpIruLu, KreLscImur LoId us, wus Loo unusuuI, Loo umuzIng und urbILrury, Lo be
Luken over by LIe worId ouLsIde, und Ience IL Iud sunk InLo prucLIcuI obIIvIon wIen LIe secL oI
LIe Germun SevenLI-Duy BupLIsLs ceused Lo IIourIsI. BuL u IuInL Iegend Iud persIsLed down LIe
yeurs, suIIIcIenL In IucL Lo muke known Iow uLLerIy pecuIIur und movIng IL Iud been. TIe Lones
comIng Irom LIe cIoIr Iud resembIed deIIcuLe InsLrumenLuI musIc und evoked un ImpressIon oI
IeuvenIy mIIdness und pIeLy In LIe Ieurer. TIe wIoIe Iud been sung IuIseLLo, und LIe sIngers Iud
scurceIy opened LIeIr mouLIs or moved LIeIr IIps - wILI wonderIuI ucousLIc eIIecL. TIe sound,
LIuL Is, Iud LIus been LIrown up Lo LIe ruLIer Iow ceIIIng oI LIe IuII, und IL Iud seemed us LIougI
LIe noLes, unIIke uny IumIIIur Lo mun, und In uny cuse unIIke uny known cIurcI musIc, IIouLed
down LIence und Iovered ungeIIcuIIy ubove LIe Ieuds oI LIe ussembIuge.
HIs own IuLIer, KreLscImur suId, Iud oILen Ieurd LIese sounds us u young mun, und In IIs oId
uge, wIen Ie LuIked Lo IIs IumIIy ubouL IL, IIs eyes Iud uIwuys IIIIed wILI Leurs. He Iud spenL u
summer neur SnowIIII und on u ¡rIduy evenIng, LIe begInnIng oI LIe SubbuLI, Iud once rIdden
over us un onIooker uL LIe Iouse oI worsIIp oI LIose pIous IoIk. AILer LIuL Ie Iud gone uguIn und
uguIn: every ¡rIduy, us LIe sun seL, drIven by u resIsLIess urge, Ie Iud suddIed IIs Iorse und
rIdden LIe LIree mIIes Lo IIsLen. ¡L Iud been quILe IndescrIbubIe, noL Lo be compured wILI
unyLIIng In LIIs worId. He Iud, so LIe eIder KreLscImur Iud suId, suL In EngIIsI, ¡rencI, und
¡LuIIun operu Iouses; LIuL Iud been musIc Ior LIe eur, buL BeIsseI's rung deep down InLo LIe souI
und wus noLIIng more nor Iess LIun u IoreLusLe oI Ieuven.
"A greuL urL," so our reporLer suId In cIosIng, "wIIcI, us IL were uIooI Irom LIme und LIme's
greuL course, couId deveIop u IILLIe prIvuLe IIsLory oI LIIs kInd, und by IorgoLLen sIde-puLIs Ieud
Lo sucI excepLIonuI beuuLILudes."
¡ recuII us LIougI IL were yesLerduy Iow ¡ wenL Iome wILI AdrIun uILer LIIs IecLure. AILIougI
we dId noL LuIk mucI, we were unwIIIIng Lo sepuruLe; und Irom IIs uncIe's Iouse, wIILIer ¡
uccompunIed IIm, Ie wenL buck wILI me Lo LIe sIop, und LIen ¡ buck wILI IIm Lo
PurocIIuIsLrusse. TIougI oI course we oILen dId LIuL. We boLI mude merry over LIe mun BeIsseI,
LIIs buckwoods dIcLuLor wILI IIs droII LIIrsL Ior ucLIon, und ugreed LIuL IIs musIc reIorm
remInded us very mucI oI LIe pussuge In Terence: "Lo beIuve sLupIdIy wILI reuson." BuL AdrIun's
uLLILude Lo LIe curIous pIenomenon dIIIered Irom mIne In wIuL wus uILer uII so dIsLIncLIve u wuy
LIuL IL soon occupIed me more LIun LIe subjecL ILseII. ¡ meun LIuL even wIIIe Ie mocked Ie seL
sLore by preservIng LIe rIgIL Lo upprecIuLe: seL sLore by LIe rIgIL, noL Lo suy LIe prIvIIege oI
keepIng u dIsLunce, wIIcI IncIudes In ILseII LIe possIbIIILy oI good-nuLured uccepLunce, oI
condILIoned ugreemenL, IuII-udmIruLIon, uIong wILI LIe mockery und IuugILer. QuILe generuIIy
LIIs cIuIm Lo IronIc remoLeness, Lo un objecLIvILy wIIcI sureIy Is puyIng Iess Ionour Lo LIe LIIng
LIun Lo LIe Ireedom oI LIe person, Ius uIwuys seemed Lo me u sIgn oI uncommon urrogunce. ¡n
so young u person us AdrIun LIen wus, LIe presumpLIon oI LIIs uLLILude, IL musL be udmILLed, Is
dIsquIeLIng; IL wus cuIcuIuLed Lo cuuse one concern Ior LIe IeuILI oI IIs souI. OI course IL Is uIso
very ImpressIve Lo u compunIon wILI u sImpIer menLuI consLILuLIon, und sInce ¡ Ioved IIm, ¡
Ioved IIs urrogunce us weII - perIups ¡ Ioved IIm Ior ILs suke. Yes, LIuL Is Iow IL wus: LIIs
urrogunce wus LIe cIIeI moLIve oI LIe IeurIuI Iove wIIcI uII my IIIe ¡ cIerIsIed Ior IIm In my
IeurL.
"¡euve me uIone," suId Ie, us wILI our Iunds In our overcouL pockeLs we wenL Lo und Iro
beLween our Lwo dweIIIngs, In LIe wInLry mIsL LIuL wrupped LIe gus-Iumps, "Ieuve me In peuce
wILI my oId codger, ¡ cun do wILI IIm. AL IeusL Ie Iud u sense oI order, und even u sIIIy order Is
beLLer LIun none uL uII."
"SureIy," ¡ unswered IIm, "you won'L deIend sucI u rIdIcuIous und dogmuLIc urrungemenL,
sucI cIIIdIsI ruLIonuIIsm us LIIs InvenLIon oI musLers und servunLs. ¡mugIne Iow LIese BeIsseI
Iymns musL Iuve sounded, In wIIcI every uccenLed syIIubIe Iud Lo Iuve one noLe oI LIe cIord
IuII on IL!"
"¡n uny cuse noL senLImenLuI," Ie responded, "ruLIer rIgIdIy conIormIng Lo LIe Iuw, und LIuL ¡
upprove. You cun consoIe yourseII LIuL LIere wus pIenLy oI pIuy Ior LIe Iuncy you puL IIgI ubove
LIe Iuw, In LIe Iree use oI LIe servunL noLes."
He Iud Lo IuugI uL LIe word, benL over us Ie wuIked, und IuugIed down upon LIe weL
puvemenL.
"¡unny, IL's very Iunny," Ie suId. "BuL one LIIng you wIII udmIL. ¡uw, every Iuw, Ius u cIIIIIng
eIIecL, und musIc Ius so mucI wurmLI unyIow, sLubIe wurmLI, cow wurmLI, ¡'d IIke Lo suy, LIuL
sIe cun sLund uII sorLs oI reguIuLed cooIIng oII - sIe Ius even usked Ior IL."
"TIere muy be some LruLI In LIuL," ¡ udmILLed. "BuL our BeIsseI Isn'L uILer uII uny very sLrIkIng
exumpIe oI IL. You IorgeL LIuL IIs rIyLIm, quILe unreguIuLed und ubundoned Lo IeeIIng, uL IeusL
buIunced LIe rIgIdILy oI IIs meIody. And LIen Ie InvenLed u sIngIng sLyIe Ior IImseII - up Lo LIe
ceIIIng und LIen IIouLIng down In u serupIIc IuIseLLo - IL musL Iuve been sImpIy ruvIsIIng und
cerLuInIy guve buck Lo musIc uII LIe bovIne wurmLI LIuL IL Iud prevIousIy Luken uwuy LIrougI LIe
pedunLIc cooIIng oII."
"AsceLIc, KreLscImur wouId suy," Ie unswered, "LIe usceLIc cooIIng oII. ¡n LIuL ¡uLIer BeIsseI
wus very genuIne. MusIc uIwuys does penunce In udvunce Ior Ier reLreuL InLo LIe sensuuI. TIe oId
DuLcImen mude Ier do LIe rummesL sorL oI LrIcks, Lo LIe gIory oI God; und IL wenL Iurder und
Iurder on Ier Irom uII one Ieurs, wILI no sense uppeuI, excogILuLed by pure cuIcuIuLIon. BuL LIen
LIey Iud LIese penILenLIuI prucLIces sung, deIIvered over Lo LIe soundIng breuLI oI LIe Iumun
voIce, wIIcI Is cerLuInIy LIe mosL sLubIe-wurm ImugInubIe LIIng In LIe worId oI sound... "
"You LIInk so?"
"WIy noL? No unorgunIc InsLrumenLuI sound cun be compured wILI IL. AbsLrucL IL muy be, LIe
Iumun voIce - LIe ubsLrucL Iumun beIng, II you IIke. BuL LIuL Is u kInd oI ubsLrucLIon more IIke
LIuL oI LIe nuked body - IL Is uILer uII more u pudendum." ¡ wus sIIenL, conIounded. My LIougILs
Look me Iur buck In our, In IIs pusL.
"TIere you Iuve IL," suId Ie, "your musIc." ¡ wus unnoyed uL LIe wuy Ie puL IL, IL sounded IIke
sIovIng musIc oII on me, us LIougI IL were more my uIIuIr LIun IIs. "TIere you Iuve LIe wIoIe
LIIng, sIe wus uIwuys IIke LIuL. Her sLrIcLness, or wIuLever you IIke Lo cuII LIe moruIIsm oI Ier
Iorm, musL sLund Ior un excuse Ior LIe ruvIsImenLs oI Ier ucLuuI sounds."
¡or u momenL ¡ IeIL myseII LIe oIder, more muLure.
"A gIIL oI IIIe IIke musIc," ¡ responded, "noL Lo suy u gIIL oI God, one ougIL noL Lo expIuIn by
mockIng unLInomIes, wIIcI onIy beur wILness Lo LIe IuIIness oI Ier nuLure. One musL Iove Ier."
"Do you consIder Iove LIe sLrongesL emoLIon?" Ie usked.
"Do you know u sLronger?"
"Yes, InLeresL."
"By wIIcI you presumubIy meun u Iove Irom wIIcI LIe unImuI wurmLI Ius been wILIdruwn."
"¡eL us ugree on LIe deIInILIon!" Ie IuugIed. "Good nIgIL!"
We Iud goL buck Lo LIe ¡everküIn Iouse, und Ie opened IIs door.

CHAPTIR IX
¡ wIII noL Iook buck, ¡ wIII Luke cure noL Lo counL LIe puges ¡ Iuve covered beLween LIe IusL
Romun numeruI und LIIs one ¡ Iuve jusL wrILLen down. TIe evII - In uny cuse quILe ununLIcI-
puLed - Ius come Lo puss und IL wouId be useIess Lo expend myseII In excuses or seII-
uccusuLIons. TIe quesLIon wIeLIer ¡ mIgIL und sIouId Iuve uvoIded IL by gIvIng u cIupLer Lo eucI
one oI KreLscImur's IecLures ¡ musL unswer In LIe neguLIve. EucI sepuruLe dIvIsIon oI u work
needs u cerLuIn body, u deIInILe voIume suIIIcIenL Lo udd Lo LIe sIgnIIIcunce oI LIe wIoIe, und LIIs
weIgIL, LIIs voIume oI sIgnIIIcunce, perLuIns Lo LIe IecLures onIy coIIecLIveIy (In so Iur us ¡ Iuve
reporLed LIem) und noL Lo LIe sIngIe ones.
BuL wIy do ¡ uscrIbe sucI sIgnIIIcunce Lo LIem? WIy Iuve ¡ seen myseII Induced Lo reproduce
LIem In sucI deLuII? ¡ gIve LIe reuson, noL Ior LIe IIrsL LIme. ¡L Is sImpIy LIIs: LIuL AdrIun Ieurd
LIese LIIngs LIen, LIey cIuIIenged IIs InLeIIIgence, mude LIeIr deposIL In LIe vesseI oI IIs
IeeIIngs, und guve muLLer Lo Ieed or Lo sLImuIuLe IIs Iuncy. And Ior LIe Iuncy, Iood und sLImuIunL
ure one und LIe sume. TIe reuder musL perIorce be mude u wILness oI LIe process; sInce no
bIogrupIy, no depIcLIon oI LIe growLI und deveIopmenL oI un InLeIIecLuuI IIIe, couId properIy be
wrILLen wILIouL LukIng ILs subjecL buck Lo LIe pupII sLuge, Lo LIe perIod oI IIs begInnIngs In IIIe
und urL, wIen Ie IIsLened, Ieurned, dIvIned, guzed und runged now uIur, now cIose uL Iund. As Ior
musIc In purLIcuIur, wIuL ¡ wunL und sLrIve Lo do Is Lo muke LIe reuder see IL us AdrIun dId; Lo
brIng IIm In LoucI wILI musIc, precIseIy us IL Iuppened Lo my depurLed IrIend. And Lo LIuL end
everyLIIng IIs LeucIer suId seems Lo me noL onIy noL u negIIgIbIe meuns buL even un
IndIspensubIe one.
And so, IuII jesLIngIy, ¡ wouId uddress LIose wIo In LIuL IusL monsLrous cIupLer Iuve been
guIILy oI some skIppIng: ¡ wouId remInd LIem oI Iow ¡uurence SLerne once deuIL wILI un
ImugInury IIsLener wIo beLruyed LIuL sIe Iud noL uIwuys been puyIng uLLenLIon. TIe uuLIor senL
Ier buck Lo un eurIIer cIupLer Lo IIII In

;1
LIe gups In Ier knowIedge. AILer IuvIng InIormed IerseII, LIe Iudy rejoIns LIe group oI
IIsLeners und Is gIven u IeurLy weIcome.
TIe pussuge cume Lo my mInd becuuse AdrIun us u Lop-Iorm sLudenL, uL u LIme wIen ¡ Iud
uIreudy IeIL Ior LIe UnIversILy oI GIessen, sLudIed EngIIsI ouLsIde LIe scIooI courses, und uILer uII
ouLsIde LIe IumunIsLIc currIcuIum, under LIe InIIuence oI WendeII KreLscImur. He reud SLerne
wILI greuL pIeusure. Even more enLIusIusLIcuIIy Ie reud SIukespeure, oI wIom LIe orgunIsL wus u
cIose sLudenL und pussIonuLe udmIrer. SIukespeure und BeeLIoven LogeLIer Iormed In
KreLscImur's InLeIIecLuuI Ieuven u LwIn consLeIIuLIon ouLsIInIng uII eIse, und Ie deurIy Ioved
cuIIIng IIs pupII's uLLenLIon Lo remurkubIe sImIIurILIes und correspondences In LIe creuLIve
prIncIpIes und meLIods oI LIe Lwo gIunLs - un InsLunce oI LIe sLuLLerer's Iur-reucIIng InIIuence
on my IrIend's educuLIon, quILe usIde Irom LIe pIuno Iessons. As u musIc-LeucIer, oI course, Ie
Iud Lo gIve AdrIun LIe cIIIdIsI begInnIngs; buL on LIe oLIer Iund, und In sLrunge conLrusL, Ie
guve IIm uL LIe sume LIme und uImosL In pussIng IIs eurIIesL conLucL wILI greuLness. He opened
Lo IIm LIe umpIe puge oI worId IILeruLure; wIeLLIng IIs uppeLILe by smuII IoreLusLes, Ie Iured IIm
InLo LIe broud expunses oI LIe RussIun, EngIIsI, und ¡rencI noveI; sLImuIuLed IIm Lo reud LIe
IyrIcuI poems oI SIeIIey und KeuLs, HoIderIIn und NovuIIs; guve IIm MunzonI und GoeLIe,
ScIopenIuuer und MeIsLer EckeIurL. TIrougI AdrIun's IeLLers, us weII us by word oI mouLI wIen
¡ cume Iome In LIe IoIIduys, ¡ sIured In LIese conquesLs, und ¡ wIII noL deny LIuL someLImes,
despILe my knowIedge oI IIs IucIIILy, ¡ wus concerned Ior IIs sLrengLI. AILer uII, LIese
ucquIremenLs were premuLure, LIey musL Iuve burdened IIs young sysLem, In uddILIon Lo LIe
prepuruLIons Ior IIs IInuIs. AbouL LIe IuLLer, Indeed, Ie spoke conLempLuousIy. He oILen Iooked
puIe, und LIuL noL onIy on duys wIen LIe IeredILury mIgruIne IuId IIm Iow. ObvIousIy Ie Iud Loo
IILLIe sIeep, Ior IIs reudIng wus done In LIe nIgIL Iours. ¡ dId noL reIruIn Irom conIessIng my
concern Lo KreLscImur und uskIng IIm II Ie dId noL see In AdrIun, us ¡ dId, u nuLure LIuL In LIe
InLeIIecLuuI IIeId sIouId ruLIer be IeId buck LIun urged Iorwurds. BuL LIe musIcIun, uILIougI so
mucI oIder LIun ¡, proved Lo be u LIorougIgoIng purLIsun oI ImpuLIenL youLI uvId oI knowIedge,
unspurIng oI IIs sLrengLI. ¡ndeed, LIe mun sIowed In generuI u cerLuIn IdeuI IursIness und
IndIIIerence Lo LIe body und ILs "IeuILI," wIIcI Ie consIdered u rIgIL pIIIIsLIne, noL Lo suy cow-
urdIy vuIue.
"Yes, my deur IrIend," suId Ie (¡ omIL LIe IILcIes wIIcI deLrucLed Irom IIs ImpressIveness), "II
IL Is IeuILIIness you ure uILer - weII, wILI mInd und urL IL Ius noL goL mucI Lo do, IL even In u sorL
oI wuy opposes LIem, und unyIow LIey Iuve never LroubIed mucI ubouL eucI oLIer. To pIuy LIe
IumIIy docLor wIo wurns uguInsL premuLure reudIng becuuse IL wus uIwuys premuLure Lo IIm uII
IIs IIIe - ¡'m no good Ior LIuL. And besIdes, ¡ IInd noLIIng more LucLIess und burburous LIun
nuIIIng u gIILed youLI down Lo IIs 'ImmuLurILy' und LeIIIng IIm In every oLIer word: 'TIuL Is
noLIIng Ior you yeL.' ¡eL IIm judge Ior IImseII! ¡eL IIm see Iow Ie comes on! TIuL LIe LIme wIII
be Iong Lo IIm LIII Ie cun cruwI ouL oI LIe sIeII oI LIIs sIeepy oId pIuce Is onIy Loo eusy Lo under-
sLund."
So LIere ¡ Iud IL - und KuIsersuscIern Loo. ¡ wus vexed, Ior LIe sLundurds oI LIe IumIIy docLor
were cerLuInIy noL mIne eILIer. And besIdes LIuL, ¡ suw noL onIy LIuL KreLscImur wus noL conLenL
Lo be u pIuno-LeucIer und LruIner In u specIuI LecInIque, buL LIuL musIc ILseII, LIe gouI oI IIs
LeucIIng, II IL were pursued one-sIdedIy und wILIouL connecLIon wILI oLIer IIeIds oI Iorm,
LIougIL, und cuILure, seemed Lo IIm u sLunLIng specIuIIzuLIon, IumunIy speukIng. As u muLLer oI
IucL, Irom uII LIuL ¡ Ieurd Irom AdrIun, LIe Iesson-Iours In KreLscImur's medIuevuI quurLers In
LIe CuLIedruI were u good IuII oI LIe LIme Luken up wILI LuIks on pIIIosopIy und poeLry. DespILe
LIuL, so Iong us ¡ wus sLIII In scIooI wILI IIm, ¡ couId IoIIow IIs progress IILeruIIy Irom duy Lo duy.
HIs seII-won IumIIIurILy wILI keybourd und keys ucceIeruLed oI course LIe IIrsL sLeps. He
prucLIsed conscIenLIousIy, buL u Iesson-book, so Iur us ¡ know, wus noL used; InsLeud KreLscImur
sImpIy IeL IIm pIuy seL cIoruIs und - Iowever sLrunge LIey sounded on LIe pIuno - Iour-purL
psuIms by PuIesLrInu consIsLIng oI pure cIords wILI some IurmonIc LensIons und cudenzus; LIen
somewIuL IuLer IILLIe preIudes und IugueLLes oI BucI, Lwo-purL InvenLIons uIso by IIm, LIe SonuLu
¡ucIIe oI MozurL, one-movemenL sonuLus by ScurIuLLI. KreLscImur dId noL IesILuLe Lo wrILe IILLIe
pIeces IImseII, murcIes und dunces, purLIy Ior pIuyIng soIo, purLIy us dueLs In wIIcI LIe musIcuI
burden Iuy In LIe second purL, wIIIe LIe IIrsL, Ior LIe pupII, wus kepL quILe sImpIe so LIuL Ie Iud
LIe suLIsIucLIon oI sIurIng In LIe perIormunce oI u producLIon wIIcI us u wIoIe moved on u
IIgIer pIune oI LecInIcuI compeLence LIun IIs own.
AII In uII IL wus u IILLIe IIke LIe educuLIon oI u young prInce. ¡ remember LIuL ¡ used LIe word
LeusIngIy In LuIk wILI my IrIend; remember Loo Iow Ie Lurned uwuy wILI LIe odd sIorL IuugI pe-
cuIIur Lo IIm, us LIougI Ie wouId Iuve preLended noL Lo Ieur. No doubL Ie wus gruLeIuI Lo IIs
LeucIer Ior u kInd oI InsLrucLIon LukIng cognIzunce oI LIe pupII's generuI menLuI deveIopmenL,
wIIcI dId noL beIong uL LIe cIIIdIsI sLuge oI IIs presenL und ruLIer Lurdy musIcuI begInnIngs.
KreLscImur wus noL unwIIIIng, In IucL Ie ruLIer preIerred, Lo Iuve LIIs youLI, pIuInIy vIbruLIng
wILI ubIIILy, Iurry on uIeud In musIc Loo und concern IImseII wILI muLLers LIuL u more pedunLIc
menLor wouId Iuve IorbIdden us LIme-wusLIng. ¡or AdrIun scurceIy knew LIe noLes wIen Ie be-
gun Lo wrILe und experImenL wILI cIords on puper. TIe munIu Ie LIen deveIoped oI LIInkIng ouL
musIcuI probIems, wIIcI Ie soIved IIke cIess probIems, mIgIL muke one Ieur IesL Ie LIougIL LIIs
conLrIvIng und musLerIng oI LecInIcuI dIIIIcuILIes wus uIreudy composILIon. He spenL Iours In
IInkIng up, In LIe smuIIesL possIbIe spuce, cIords LIuL LogeLIer conLuIned uII LIe noLes oI LIe
cIromuLIc scuIe, wILIouL LIeIr beIng cIromuLIcuIIy sIde-sIIpped und wILIouL producIng
IursInesses In LIeIr progressIon. Or Ie umused IImseII by wrILIng very sIurp dIssonunces und
IIndIng uII possIbIe resoIuLIons Ior LIem, wIIcI, Iowever, jusL becuuse LIe cIord conLuIned so
muny dIscordunL noLes, Iud noLIIng Lo do wILI eucI oLIer, so LIuL LIuL ucId cIord, IIke u mugIc
IormuIu, creuLed reIuLIons beLween LIe remoLesL cIords und keys.
One duy LIe begInner In LIe LIeory oI Iurmony brougIL Lo KreLscImur, Lo LIe IuLLer's
umusemenL, LIe dIscovery Ie Iud IImseII mude oI doubIe counLerpoInL. TIuL Is, Ie guve Lo IIs
LeucIer Lo reud Lwo purLs runnIng sImuILuneousIy, eucI oI wIIcI couId Iorm LIe upper or LIe
Iower purL und LIus were InLercIungeubIe. "¡I you Iuve goL LIe LrIpIe counLerpoInL," suId
KreLscImur, "keep IL Lo yourseII. ¡ don'L wunL Lo Ieur ubouL your rusIness."
He kepL mucI Lo IImseII, sIurIng IIs specuIuLIons wILI me onIy In momenLs oI reIuxuLIon, und
LIen especIuIIy IIs ubsorpLIon In LIe probIem oI unILy, InLercIungeubIIILy, IdenLILy oI IorIzonLuI
und verLIcuI wrILIng. He soon possessed wIuL wus In my eyes un uncunny knuck oI InvenLIng
meIodIc IInes wIIcI couId be seL uguInsL eucI oLIer sImuILuneousIy, und wIose noLes LeIescoped
InLo compIex IurmonIes - und, on LIe oLIer Iund, Ie InvenLed cIords consIsLIng oI noLe-
cIusLers LIuL were Lo be projecLed InLo LIe meIodIc IorIzonLuI.
¡n LIe scIooIyurd, beLween u Greek und u LrIgonomeLry cIuss, IeunIng on LIe Iedge oI LIe
gIuzed brIck wuII, Ie wouId LuIk Lo me ubouL LIese mugIc dIversIons oI IIs IdIe LIme: oI LIe
LrunsIormuLIon oI LIe IorIzonLuI InLervuI InLo LIe cIord, wIIcI occupIed IIm us noLIIng eIse dId;
LIuL Is, oI LIe IorIzonLuI InLo LIe verLIcuI, LIe successIve InLo LIe sImuILuneous. SImuILuneILy, Ie
usserLed, wus Iere LIe prImury eIemenL; Ior LIe noLe, wILI ILs more ImmedIuLe und more dIsLunL
IurmonIcs, wus u cIord In ILseII, und LIe scuIe onIy LIe unuIyLIcuI unIoIdIng oI LIe cIord InLo LIe
IorIzonLuI row.
"BuL wILI LIe reuI cIord, consIsLIng oI severuI noLes, IL Is uILer uII someLIIng dIIIerenL. A cIord
Is meunL Lo be IoIIowed up by unoLIer, und so soon us you do IL, curry IL over InLo unoLIer, eucI
one oI ILs componenL noLes becomes u voIce-purL. ¡ IInd LIuL In u cIorduI combInuLIon oI noLes
one sIouId never see unyLIIng buL LIe resuIL oI LIe movemenL oI voIces und do Ionour Lo LIe
purL us ImpIIed In LIe sIngIe cIord-noLe - buL noL Ionour LIe cIord us sucI, ruLIer despIse IL us
subjecLIve und urbILrury, so Iong us IL cunnoL prove ILseII Lo be LIe resuIL oI purL-wrILIng. TIe
cIord Is no IurmonIc nurcoLIc buL poIypIony In ILseII, und LIe noLes LIuL Iorm IL ure purLs. BuL ¡
usserL LIey ure LIuL LIe more, und LIe poIypIonIc cIurucLer oI LIe cIords Is LIe more
pronounced, LIe more dIssonunL IL Is. TIe degree oI dIssonunce Is LIe meusure oI ILs poIypIonIc
vuIue. TIe more dIscordunL u cIord Is, LIe more noLes IL conLuIns conLrusLIng und conIIIcLIng
wILI eucI oLIer, LIe more poIypIonIc IL Is, und LIe more murkedIy every sIngIe noLe beurs LIe
sLump oI LIe purL uIreudy In LIe sImuILuneous sound-combInuLIon."
¡ Iooked uL IIm Ior some LIme, noddIng my Ieud wILI IuII-Iumorous IuLuIIsm.
"PreLLy good! You're u wonder!" suId ¡, IInuIIy.
"You meun LIuL Ior me?" Ie suId, LurnIng uwuy us Ie so oILen dId. "BuL ¡ um LuIkIng ubouL
musIc, noL ubouL myseII - some IILLIe dIIIerence."
He InsIsLed upon LIIs dIsLIncLIon, speukIng oI musIc uIwuys us u sLrunge power, u pIenomenon
umuzIng buL noL LoucIIng IIm personuIIy, LuIkIng ubouL IL wILI crILIcuI deLucImenL und u cerLuIn
condescensIon; buL Ie LuIked ubouL IL, und Iud more Lo suy, becuuse In LIese yeurs, LIe IusL ¡
spenL wILI IIm uL scIooI, und my IIrsL semesLers us unIversILy sLudenL, IIs knowIedge oI LIe
worId's musIcuI IILeruLure rupIdIy broudened, so LIuL soon, Indeed, LIe dIIIerence beLween wIuL
Ie knew und wIuL Ie couId do IenL Lo LIe dIsLIncLIon Ie empIusIzed u sorL oI sLrIkIngness. ¡or
wIIIe us pIunIsL Ie wus prucLIsIng sucI LIIngs us ScIumunn's Kinderscenen und LIe Lwo IILLIe
sonuLus oI BeeLIoven, Opus q¸, und us u musIc pupII duLIIuIIy IurmonIzIng cIoruI LIemes so LIuL
LIe LIeme cume Lo IIe In LIe cenLre oI LIe cIord; Ie wus uL LIe sume LIme, und wILI un excessIve,
even IeudIong ucceIeruLIon oI puce, guInIng u compreIensIve vIew, IncoIerenL Indeed, buL wILI
exLensIve deLuII, oI precIussIc, cIussIc, romunLIc, IuLe-romunLIc, und modern producLIon, uII LIIs
oI course LIrougI KreLscImur, wIo wus IImseII Loo mucI In Iove wILI everyLIIng - jusL
everyLIIng - mude oI noLes noL Lo burn Lo InLroduce Lo u pupII wIo knew Iow Lo IIsLen us AdrIun
dId LIIs worId oI sIupes und IIgures, InexIuusLIbIy rIcI In sLyIes, nuLIonuI cIurucLerIsLIcs,
LrudILIonuI vuIues, und cIurms oI personuIILy, IIsLorIc und IndIvIduuI vurIuLIons oI LIe IdeuI
beuuLy.
¡ need scurceIy suy LIuL opporLunILIes Lo IIsLen Lo musIc were, Ior u cILIzen oI KuIsersuscIern,
exLruordInurIIy Iew. AsIde Irom LIe evenIngs oI cIumber musIc uL NIkoIuus ¡everküIn's und LIe
orgun concerLs In LIe CuLIedruI we Iud uImosL no opporLunILy uL uII, Ior seIdom Indeed wouId u
LourIng vIrLuoso or un orcIesLru wILI ILs conducLor Irom some oLIer cILy peneLruLe InLo our IILLIe
Lown. Now KreLscImur Iud IIung IImseII InLo LIe breucI, und wILI IIs vIvId recILuIs Iud Ied, II
onIy LemporurIIy und by suggesLIon, u purLIy unconscIous, purLIy unconIessed yeurnIng oI my
young IrIend Ior cuILure. ¡ndeed, LIe sLreum wus so copIous LIuL ¡ mIgIL uImosL speuk oI u
cuLurucL oI musIcuI experIence IIoodIng IIs youLIIuI recepLIvILy. AILer LIuL cume yeurs oI
dIsuvowuI und dIssImuIuLIon, wIen Ie Iud Iur Iess musIc LIun uL LIe LIme ¡ speuk oI, uILIougI LIe
cIrcumsLunces were mucI more IuvourubIe.
¡L begun, very nuLuruIIy, wILI LIe LeucIer demonsLruLIng Ior IIm LIe sLrucLure oI LIe sonuLu In
works by CIemenLI, MozurL, und Huydn. BuL beIore Iong Ie wenL on Lo LIe orcIesLru sonuLu, LIe
sympIony, und perIormed (In LIe pIuno-ubsLrucLIon) Lo LIe wuLcIIng IIsLener sILLIng wILI druwn
brows und purLed IIps LIe vurIous cIronoIogIcuI und personuI vurIuLIons oI LIIs rIcIesL munI-
IesLuLIon oI creuLIve musIcuI urL, speukIng mosL vurIedIy Lo senses und mInd. He pIuyed
InsLrumenLuI works by BruIms und Bruckner, ScIuberL, RoberL ScIumunn; LIen by LIe IuLer und
LIe IuLesL, TcIuIkovsky, BorodIn, und RImsky-Korsukov; by AnLon Dvoruk, BerIIoz, Cesur ¡runck,
und CIubrIer, consLunLIy cIuIIengIng IIs pupII's power oI ImugInuLIon wILI Ioud expIunuLIons, Lo
gIve orcIesLruI body und souI Lo LIe InsubsLunLIuI pIuno versIon: "CeIIo cunLIIenu! You musL LIInk
oI LIuL us druwn ouL. Bussoon soIo! And LIe IIuLes gIve LIe IIourIsIes Lo IL! Drum-roII! TIere ure
LIe Lrombones! Here LIe vIoIIns come In! ¡oIIow IL on LIe score! ¡ Iuve Lo Ieuve ouL LIe IILLIe
IunIure wILI LIe LrumpeLs, ¡ Iuve onIy Lwo Iunds!"
He dId wIuL Ie couId wILI LIose Lwo Iunds, oILen uddIng IIs voIce, wIIcI crowed und crucked,
buL never budIy; no, IL wus uII even ruvIsIIng, by reuson oI ILs IervId musIcuIILy und enLIusIusLIc
LIgILness oI expressIon.
DusIIng Irom one LIIng Lo unoLIer, or IInkIng LIem LogeLIer, Ie Ieuped LIem up - IIrsL
becuuse Ie Iud endIess LIIngs In IIs Ieud, und one LIIng Ied on Lo LIe nexL; buL In purLIcuIur
becuuse IL wus IIs pussIon Lo muke compurIsons und dIscover reIuLIons, dIspIuy InIIuences, Iuy
bure LIe InLerwoven connecLIons oI cuILure. ¡L pIeused IIm Lo sIurpen IIs young pupII's sense;
Iours on Iours Ie spenL sIowIng IIm Iow ¡rencI Iud InIIuenced RussIuns, ¡LuIIuns Germuns,
Germuns ¡rencI. He sIowed IIm wIuL Gounod Iud Irom ScIumunn, wIuL Cesur ¡runck Irom
¡IszL, Iow Debussy bused on Mussorgsky und wIere D'¡ndy und CIubrIer wugnerIzed. To sIow
Iow sIeer conLemporuneILy seL up muLuuI reIuLIons beLween sucI dIIIerenL nuLures us
TcIuIkovsky und BruIms, LIuL Loo beIonged Lo LIese Iesson-Iours. He pIuyed IIm bILs Irom LIe
works oI LIe one LIuL mIgIL weII be by LIe oLIer. ¡n BruIms, wIom Ie puL very IIgI, Ie
demonsLruLed LIe reIerence Lo LIe urcIuIc, Lo oId cIurcI modes, und Iow LIIs usceLIc eIemenL In
IIm becume LIe meuns oI ucIIevIng u sombre rIcIness und gIoomy grundeur. He LoId IIs pupII Lo
noLe Iow, In LIIs kInd oI romunLIcIsm, wILI u noLIceubIe reIerence Lo BucI, LIe poIypIonIc prIn-
cIpIe serIousIy conIronLed LIe IurmonIc coIour und mude IL reLreuL. BuL Lrue Independence oI
purLs, Lrue poIypIony, LIuL wus noL; und Iud uIreudy noL been wILI BucI, In wIom one does
Indeed IInd LIe conLrupunLuI devIces pecuIIur Lo LIe vocuI poIypIony oI un oIder perIod, buL wIo
by bIood Iud been u IurmonIsL und noLIIng eIse - uIreudy us LIe mun Lo use LIe Lempered scuIe,
LIIs premIse Ior uII LIe IuLer urL oI moduIuLIon, und IIs IurmonIc counLerpoInL Iud uL boLLom no
more Lo do wILI LIe oId vocuI poIypIony LIun HundeI's IurmonIc uIIresco sLyIe.
¡L wus precIseIy sucI remurks us LIese Ior wIIcI AdrIun's eur wus so pecuIIurIy keen. ¡n
conversuLIons wILI me Ie wenL InLo IL.
"BucI's probIem," Ie suId, "wus LIIs: Iow Is one Lo wrILe pregnunL poIypIony In u IurmonIc
sLyIe? WILI LIe moderns LIe quesLIon presenLs ILseII somewIuL dIIIerenLIy. RuLIer IL Is: Iow Is
one Lo wrILe u IurmonIc sLyIe LIuL Ius LIe uppeurunce oI poIypIony? RemurkubIe, IL Iooks IIke
bud conscIence - LIe bud conscIence oI IomopIonIc musIc In Iuce oI poIypIony."
¡L goes wILIouL suyIng LIuL by so mucI IIsLenIng Ie wus Ied Lo LIe enLIusIusLIc reudIng oI
scores, purLIy Irom IIs LeucIer's, purLIy Irom LIe Lown IIbrury. ¡ oILen Iound IIm uL sucI sLudIes
und uL wrILLen InsLrumenLuLIon. ¡or InIormuLIon ubouL LIe compuss oI LIe IndIvIduuI orcIesLruI
InsLrumenLs (InsLrucLIon wIIcI LIe InsLrumenL-deuIer's IosLer-son IurdIy needed) uIso IIowed
InLo LIe Iessons, und KreLscImur Iud begun gIvIng IIm Lo orcIesLruLe sIorL cIussIcuI pIeces,
sIngIe pIuno movemenLs Irom ScIuberL und BeeLIoven, uIso LIe pIuno uccompunImenLs oI songs:
sLudIes wIose weuknesses und sIIps Ie LIen poInLed ouL und correcLed. TIIs wus LIe begInnIng oI
AdrIun's ucquuInLunce wILI LIe gIorIous perIod oI LIe Germun IIed, wIIcI uILer IuIrIy jejune
begInnIngs bursLs ouL wonderIuIIy In ScIuberL, Lo ceIebruLe ILs IncompurubIe nuLIonuI LrIumpIs
wILI ScIumunn, RoberL ¡runz, BruIms, Hugo WoII, und MuIIer. A gIorIous conjuncLIon! ¡ wus
Iuppy Lo be presenL und sIure uII LIIs. A jeweI und mIrucIe IIke ScIumunn's Mondnccht, wILI LIe
IoveIy, deIIcuLe seconds In LIe uccompunImenL! OLIer EIcIendorII composILIons oI LIe sume
musLer, IIke LIuL pIece InvokIng uII LIe romunLIc perIIs und LIreuLs Lo LIe souI, wIIcI ends wILI
LIe uncunnIIy moruI wurnIng: "Hute dich, sei ucch und munterl" u musLerIy InvenLIon IIke
MendeIssoIn's Auj Iluçeln des Gescnçes, LIe InspIruLIon oI u musIcIun wIom AdrIun used Lo
exLoI very IIgIIy Lo me, cuIIIng IIm LIe mosL gIILed oI uII In IIs use oI dIIIerenL meLres - uI, wIuL
IruILIuI LopIcs Ior dIscussIon! ¡n BruIms us u song-wrILer my IrIend vuIued ubove uII eIse LIe
pecuIIurIy new und uusLere sLyIe In LIe Iour Serious Sonçs wrILLen Ior BIbIe LexLs, especIuIIy LIe
reIIgIous beuuLy oI "D Tod, uie bitter bist Dul" BuL ScIuberL's uIwuys LwIIIL genIus, deuLI-
LoucIed, Ie IIked ubove uII Lo seek wIere Ie IIILs Lo LIe IoILIesL expressIon u cerLuIn onIy IuII-
deIIned buL InescupubIe desLIny oI soIILude, us In LIe grundIy seII-LormenLIng "Ich lomme tom
Gebirçe her" Irom LIe SmILI oI ¡übeck und LIuL "Wcs termeid' ich denn die Weçe, uo die
cndern Wcndrer çehn?" Irom LIe Winterreise, wILI LIe perIecLIy IeurL-breukIng sLunzu
begInnIng:
Hcb' jc doch nichts beçcnçen Dcss ich Menschen sollte scheu'n.
TIese words, und LIe IoIIowIng:
Welch ein torichtes Verlcnçen Treibt mich in die Wustenei'n?
¡ Iuve Ieurd IIm speuk Lo IImseII, IndIcuLIng LIe musIcuI pIrusIng, und Lo my unIorgeLLubIe
umuzemenL ¡ suw LIe Leurs sprIng Lo IIs eyes.
OI course IIs InsLrumenLuI wrILIng suIIered Irom u Iuck oI experIence LIrougI ucLuuI IeurIng
und KreLscImur seL IImseII Lo remedy LIe deIecL. ¡n LIe MIcIueImus und CIrIsLmus IoIIduys
LIey wenL (wILI UncIe NIko's permIssIon) Lo operus und concerLs In neur-by cILIes: Merseburg,
ErIurL, even WeImur, In order LIuL Ie mIgIL reuIIze In ucLuuI sound wIuL Ie Iud receIved In LIe
ubsLrucL und seen uL mosL on puper. TIus Ie couId Luke In LIe cIIIdIIke soIemnILy und esoLerIc
mysLery oI The Mcçic Ilute, LIe IormIdubIe cIurm oI Iiçcro, LIe duemony oI LIe Iow cIurIneLs In
Weber's gIorIous LrunsmuLed opereLLu Der Ireischutz, sImIIur IIgures oI puInIuI und sombre
soIILude IIke LIose oI Hcns Heilinç und The Ilçinç Dutchmcn, IInuIIy LIe IoILy IumunILy und
broLIerIood oI Iidelio, wILI LIe greuL OverLure In C, pIuyed beIore LIe IInuI scene. TIIs IusL, oI
course, wus LIe mosL ImpressIve, LIe mosL ubsorbIng, oI uII LIuL IIs young recepLIve mInd cume
In conLucL wILI. ¡or duys uILer LIuL evenIng Ie kepL LIe score oI No. ¸ by IIm und reud IL
consLunLIy.
"My IrIend," suId Ie, "probubIy LIey Iuven'L been wuILIng Ior me Lo suy so; buL LIuL Is u perIecL
pIece oI musIc. CIussIcIsm - yes, IL Isn'L sopIIsLIcuLed uL uII, buL IL Is greuL. ¡ don'L suy: jor IL Is
greuL, becuuse LIere Is sucI u LIIng us sopIIsLIcuLed greuLness; buL LIIs Is uL boLLom mucI more
InLImuLe. TeII me, wIuL do you LIInk ubouL greuLness? ¡ IInd LIere Is someLIIng uncomIorLubIe
ubouL IucIng IL eye Lo eye, IL Is u LesL oI couruge - cun one reuIIy Iook IL In LIe eye? You cun'L
sLund IL, you gIve wuy. ¡eL me LeII you, ¡ IncIIne more und more Lo LIe udmIssIon LIuL LIere Is
someLIIng very odd Indeed ubouL LIIs musIc oI yours. A munIIesLuLIon oI LIe IIgIesL energy -
noL uL uII ubsLrucL, buL wILIouL un objecL, energy In u voId, In pure eLIer - wIere eIse In LIe
unIverse does sucI u LIIng uppeur? We Germuns Iuve Luken over Irom pIIIosopIy LIe expressIon
'In ILseII,' we use IL every duy wILIouL mucI Ideu oI LIe meLupIysIcuI. BuL Iere you Iuve IL, sucI
musIc Is energy ILseII, yeL noL us Ideu, ruLIer In ILs ucLuuIILy. ¡ cuII your uLLenLIon Lo LIe IucL LIuL
LIuL Is uImosL LIe deIInILIon oI God. Imitctio Dei - ¡ um surprIsed LIuL IL Is noL IorbIdden.
PerIups IL Is. AnyIow LIuL Is u very nIce poInL - In more LIun one sense oI LIe word. ¡ook: LIe
mosL powerIuI, mosL vurIed, mosL drumuLIc successIon oI evenLs und ucLIvILIes, buL onIy In LIme,
consIsLIng onIy oI LIme urLIcuIuLed, rIIIed up, orgunIzed - und uII uL once uImosL LIrusL InLo LIe
concreLe exIgencIes oI LIe pIoL by LIe repeuLed LrumpeL-sIgnuIs Irom wILIouL. AII LIuL Is mosL
eIegunLIy und grundIy conceIved, kepL wILLy und ruLIer objecLIve, even In LIe IIgI spoLs - neILIer
scInLIIIuLIng nor uII Loo spIendId, nor even very excILIng In coIour, onIy jusL musLerIy beyond
words. How uII LIuL Is brougIL In und LrunsIormed und puL beIore you, Iow one LIeme Is Ied up
Lo und unoLIer IeIL beIInd, Luken upurL; yeL In LIe process someLIIng new Is geLLIng reudy, so LIuL
LIere Is no empLy or IeebIe pussuge; Iow IIexIbIy LIe rIyLIm cIunges, u cIImux upproucIes, Lukes
In LrIbuLurIes Irom uII sIdes, sweIIs IIke u rIsIng LorrenL, bursLs ouL In rourIng LrIumpI, LrIumpI
ILseII, LrIumpI 'In und Ior ILseII' - ¡ do noL IIke Lo cuII IL beuuLIIuI, LIe word 'beuuLy' Ius uIwuys
been IuII oIIensIve Lo me, IL Ius sucI u sIIIy Iuce, und peopIe IeeI wunLon und corrupL wIen LIey
suy IL. BuL IL Is good, good In LIe exLreme, IL couId noL be beLLer, perIups IL ougIL noL Lo be
beLLer... "
TIus AdrIun. ¡L wus u wuy oI LuIkIng LIuL In ILs mIxLure oI InLeIIecLuuI seII-crILIcIsm und sIIgIL
IeverIsIness uIIecLed me us IndescrIbubIy movIng. MovIng becuuse Ie IeIL LIe IeverIsIness In IL
und Iound IL oIIensIve, wus unpIeusunLIy uwure oI LIe LrembIe In IIs sLIII boyIsIIy LIIn voIce und
Lurned uwuy, IIusIIng.
A greuL udvunce In musIcuI knowIedge und enLIusIusLIc purLIcIpuLIon Look pIuce uL LIuL LIme In
IIs IIIe, onIy Lo geL no IurLIer Ior yeurs - uL IeusL Lo uII uppeurunce.

CHAPTIR X
DurIng IIs IusL yeur uL scIooI, In LIe IIgIesL Iorm, ¡everküIn In uddILIon Lo everyLIIng eIse
begun LIe sLudy oI Hebrew, wIIcI wus noL obIIguLory und wIIcI ¡ dId noL pursue. TIus Ie
beLruyed LIe dIrecLIon oI IIs pIuns Ior u proIessIon: IL "Lurned ouL" (¡ purposeIy repeuL LIe
expressIon ¡ used Lo descrIbe LIe momenL wIen by u cIunce word Ie beLruyed IIs reIIgIous Inner
IIIe), IL Lurned ouL LIuL Ie InLended Lo sLudy LIeoIogy. TIe upproucI oI LIe IInuI exumInuLIons
demunded u decIsIon, LIe eIecLIon oI u IucuILy, und Ie decIured IIs cIoIce: decIured IL In unswer
Lo IIs uncIe, wIo ruIsed IIs brows und suId "Bruvo!" - decIured IL oI IIs own uccord Lo IIs
purenLs uL BucIeI, wIo receIved LIe news even beLLer pIeused; und Iud uIreudy LoId me eurIIer,
conIessIng uL LIe sume LIme LIuL Ie dId noL envIsuge IIs cIoIce us prepuruLIon Ior LukIng u purIsI
und ussumIng u cure oI souIs, buL us un ucudemIc cureer.
TIuL sIouId Iuve been u kInd oI reussurunce Lo me; Indeed, IL wus LIuL, Ior IL wenL uguInsL me
Lo ImugIne IIm us u cundIduLe Ior LIe oIIIce oI preucIer or pusLor, or even us councIIIor oI LIe
consIsLory or oLIer IIgI oIIIce. ¡I onIy Ie Iud been u CuLIoIIc, us we were! HIs eusIIy ImugInubIe
progress up LIe sLuges oI LIe IIerurcIy, Lo u prInce oI LIe CIurcI, wouId Iuve seemed Lo me u
IuppIer, more IILLIng prospecL. BuL LIe very resoIve wus ILseII someLIIng oI u sIock und ¡ LIInk ¡
cIunged coIour wIen Ie LoId me. WIy? ¡ couId IurdIy Iuve suId wIuL Ie sIouId eIse Iuve
cIosen. AcLuuIIy, Lo me LIere wus noLIIng good enougI Ior IIm; LIuL Is, LIe cIvIIIun, empIrIcuI
sIde oI uny cuIIIng dId noL seem Lo me worLIy oI IIm, und ¡ sIouId Iuve Iooked round In vuIn Ior
unoLIer In LIe prucLIcuI, proIessIonuI perIormunce oI wIIcI ¡ couId properIy ImugIne IIm. TIe
umbILIon ¡ cIerIsIed on IIs uccounL wus ubsoIuLe. And yeL u sIudder wenL LIrougI me wIen ¡ dI-
vIned - dIvIned very cIeurIy - LIuL Ie Iud mude IIs cIoIce ouL oI urrogunce.
We Iud on occusIon ugreed, oI course, or more correcLIy we Iud boLI espoused LIe generuI
vIew, LIuL pIIIosopIy wus LIe queen oI LIe scIences. Among LIem, we Iud uIIIrmed, sIe Look u
pIuce IIke LIuL oI LIe orgun umong InsLrumenLs: sIe uIIorded u survey; sIe combIned LIem
InLeIIecLuuIIy, sIe ordered und reIIned LIe Issues oI uII LIe IIeIds oI reseurcI InLo u unIversuI
pIcLure, un overrIdIng und decIsIve synLIesIs compreIendIng LIe meunIng oI IIIe, u scruLInIzIng
deLermInuLIon oI mun's pIuce In LIe cosmos. My consIderuLIon oI my IrIend's IuLure, my LIougILs
ubouL u "proIessIon" Ior IIm, Iud uIwuys Ied me Lo sImIIur concIusIons. TIe muny-sIdedness oI
IIs ucLIvILIes, wIIIe LIey mude me unxIous Ior IIs IeuILI, IIs LIIrsL Ior experIence, uccompunIed
us IL wus by u crILIcuI uLLILude, jusLIIIed sucI dreums. TIe mosL unIversuI IIeId, LIe IIIe oI u
musLerIy poIyIIsLor und pIIIosopIer seemed Lo me jusL rIgIL Ior IIm - und IurLIer my powers oI
ImugInuLIon Iud noL brougIL me. Now ¡ wus Lo Ieurn LIuL Ie on IIs sIde Iud prIvuLeIy gone mucI
IurLIer. WILIouL gIvIng u sIgn - Ior Ie expressed IIs decIsIon In very quIeL, unussumIng words -
Ie Iud ouLbId und puL Lo sIume LIe umbILIons oI IIs IrIend Ior IIm.
BuL LIere Is, II you IIke, u dIscIpIIne In wIIcI Queen PIIIosopIy becomes LIe servunL, LIe
uncIIIury scIence, ucudemIcuIIy speukIng u subsIdIury bruncI oI unoLIer; und LIuL oLIer Is
LIeoIogy. WIere Iove oI wIsdom IIILs ILseII Lo conLempIuLIon oI LIe IIgIesL essence, LIe source oI
beIng, LIe sLudy oI God und LIe LIIngs oI God, LIere, one mIgIL suy, Is LIe peuk oI scIenLIIIc
dIgnILy, LIe IIgIesL und nobIesL spIere oI knowIedge, LIe upex oI uII LIInkIng; Lo LIe InspIred
InLeIIecL ILs mosL exuILed gouI Is Iere seL. TIe mosL exuILed becuuse Iere LIe proIune scIences, Ior
InsLunce my own, pIIIoIogy, us weII us IIsLory und LIe resL, become u mere LooI Ior LIe servIce oI
knowIedge oI LIe dIvIne - und uguIn, LIe gouI Lo be pursued In LIe proIoundesL IumIIILy,
becuuse In LIe words oI LIe ScrIpLures IL Is "IIgIer LIun uII reuson" und LIe Iumun spIrIL LIereby
enLers InLo u more pIous, LrusLIng bond LIun LIuL wIIcI uny oLIer oI LIe Ieurned proIessIons Iuys
upon IIm.
TIIs wenL LIrougI my mInd wIen AdrIun LoId me oI IIs decIsIon. ¡I Ie Iud mude IL ouL oI un
InsLIncL oI spIrILuuI seII-dIscIpIIne, ouL oI LIe wIsI Lo Iedge In by u reIIgIous proIessIon LIuL cooI
und ubIquILous InLeIIecL oI IIs, wIIcI grusped everyLIIng so eusIIy und wus so spoIIL by ILs own
superIorILy - LIen ¡ sIouId Iuve ugreed. ¡L wouId noL onIy Iuve LrunquIIIIzed my IndeIInILe
concern, uIwuys presenL, uIbeIL sIIenLIy; und moreover IL wouId Iuve LoucIed me deepIy, Ior LIe
sccrijicium intellectus, wIIcI oI necessILy conLempIuLIon und knowIedge oI LIe oLIer worId
currIes wILI IL, musL be esLeemed LIe more IIgIIy, LIe more powerIuI LIe InLeIIecL LIuL mukes IL.
BuL ¡ dId noL uL boLLom beIIeve In my IrIend's IumIIILy. ¡ beIIeved In IIs prIde, oI wIIcI Ior my
purL ¡ wus proud Loo, und couId noL reuIIy doubL LIuL IL wus LIe source oI IIs decIsIon. Hence LIe
mIxLure oI joy und concern, LIe grounds oI LIe sIudder LIuL wenL LIrougI me.
He suw my conIIIcL und seemed Lo uscrIbe IL Lo u LIIrd person, IIs musIc-LeucIer.
"You meun, oI course, KreLscImur wIII be dIsuppoInLed," Ie suId. "NuLuruIIy, ¡ know Ie wouId
Iuve IIked me Lo gIve myseII Lo PoIyIymnIu. SLrunge, peopIe uIwuys wunL you Lo IoIIow LIe sume
puLI LIey do. One cun'L pIeuse everybody. BuL ¡'II remInd IIm LIuL LIrougI IILurgy und Ier
IIsLory musIc pIuys very sLrongIy InLo LIe LIeoIogIcuI; more prucLIcuIIy und urLIsLIcuIIy, Indeed,
LIun InLo LIe muLIemuLIcuI und pIysIcuI, or InLo ucousLIcs."
¡n unnouncIng IIs purpose oI suyIng us mucI Lo KreLscImur, Ie wus reuIIy, us ¡ weII knew,
suyIng IL Lo me; und wIen ¡ wus uIone ¡ LIougIL oI IL uguIn und uguIn. CerLuInIy, In reIuLIon Lo
LIeoIogy und LIe servIce oI God, musIc - oI course IIke uII LIe urLs, und uIso LIe secuIur scIences,
buL musIc In purLIcuIur - Look on un uncIIIury, uuxIIIury cIurucLer. TIe LIougIL wus ussocIuLed In
my mInd wILI cerLuIn dIscussIons wIIcI we Iud Iud on LIe desLIny oI urL, on LIe one Iund very
conducIve, buL on LIe oLIer sudIy IumperIng; we reIerred Lo Ier emuncIpuLIon Irom cuIL, Ier
cuILuruI secuIurIzuLIon. ¡L wus uII quILe cIeur Lo me: IIs cIoIce Iud been InIIuenced by IIs
personuI desIre und IIs proIessIonuI prospecLs, LIe wIsI Lo reduce musIc uguIn Lo LIe posILIon
LIuL once, In LImes Ie consIdered IuppIer, sIe Iud IeId In LIe unIon oI cuILs. ¡Ike LIe proIune
dIscIpIInes, so IIkewIse musIc: Ie wouId see LIem uII beneuLI LIe spIere Lo wIIcI Ie wouId
dedIcuLe IImseII us udepL. And ¡ goL u sLrunge vIsIon, u sorL oI uIIegory oI IIs poInL oI vIew: IL wus
IIke u buroque puInLIng, un enormous uILurpIece, wIereon uII LIe urLs und scIences In IumbIe und
voLIve posLure puId LIeIr devoLIons Lo LIeoIogy enLIroned.
AdrIun IuugIed IoudIy uL my vIsIon wIen ¡ LoId IIm ubouL IL. He wus In IIgI spIrILs uL LIuL
LIme, mucI IncIIned Lo jesL - und quILe undersLundubIy. TIe momenL oI LukIng IIIgIL, wIen
Ireedom duwns, wIen LIe scIooI guLe sIuLs beIInd us, LIe sIeII breuks, LIe cIrysuIIs bursLs, LIe
worId IIes open - Is IL noL LIe IuppIesL, or LIe mosL excILIng, cerLuInIy LIe mosL expecLunL In uII
our IIves? TIrougI IIs musIcuI excursIons wILI WendeII KreLscImur Lo LIe Iurger neur-by cILIes,
AdrIun Iud LusLed LIe ouLer worId u Iew LImes; now KuIsersuscIern, LIe pIuce oI wILcIes und
sLrungeIIngs, oI LIe InsLrumenL wureIouse und LIe ImperIuI Lomb In LIe CuLIedruI, wouId IInuIIy
Ioose ILs IoId on IIm, und onIy on vIsILs wouId Ie wuIk ILs sLreeLs, smIIIng IIke one uwure oI oLIer
spIeres.
Wus LIuL Lrue? Hud KuIsersuscIern ever reIeused IIm? DId Ie noL Luke Ier wILI IIm wIerever
Ie wenL und wus Ie noL condILIoned by Ier wIenever Ie LIougIL Lo decIde? WIuL Is Ireedom?
OnIy LIe neuLruI Is Iree. TIe cIurucLerIsLIc Is never Iree, IL Is sLumped, deLermIned, bound. Wus IL
noL "KuIsersuscIern" LIuL spoke In my IrIend's decIsIon Lo sLudy LIeoIogy? AdrIun ¡everküIn
und KuIsersuscIern: obvIousIy LIe Lwo LogeLIer yIeIded LIeoIogy. ¡ usked myseII IurLIer wIuL
eIse ¡ Iud expecLed. He devoLed IImseII IuLer Lo musIcuI composILIon. BuL II IL wus very boId
musIc Ie wroLe, wus IL uILer uII "Iree" musIc, worId musIc? TIuL IL wus noL. ¡L wus LIe musIc oI
one wIo never escuped; IL wus, InLo ILs mosL mysLerIous, InspIred, bIzurre convoIuLIon, In every
IoIIow breuLI und ecIo IL guve ouL, cIurucLerIsLIc musIc, musIc oI KuIsersuscIern.
He wus, ¡ suId, In IIgI spIrILs uL LIuL LIme - und wIy noL? DIspensed Irom oruI exumInuLIon
on LIe busIs oI LIe muLurILy oI IIs wrILLen work, Ie Iud Luken Ieuve oI IIs LeucIers, wILI LIunks
Ior uII LIey Iud done; wIIIe on LIeIr sIde respecL Ior LIe proIessIon Ie Iud cIosen repressed LIe
prIvuLe unnoyunce LIey Iud uIwuys IeIL uL IIs condescendIng IucIIILy. Even so, LIe worLIy dIrecLor
oI LIe ScIooI oI LIe BreLIren oI LIe Common ¡IIe, u PomerunIun numed Dr. SLoIenLIn, wIo Iud
been AdrIun's musLer In Greek, MIddIe HIgI Germun, und Hebrew, dId noL IuII uL LIeIr prIvuLe
Ieuve-LukIng Lo uLLer u word oI wurnIng.
"Vcle," Ie suId, "und God be wILI you, ¡everküIn. - TIe purLIng bIessIng comes Irom my
IeurL, und wIeLIer you ure oI LIuL opInIon or noL, IL seems Lo me you muy need IL. You ure u
person rIcIIy gIILed und you know IL - us wIy sIouId you noL? You know Loo LIuL He ubove,
Irom wIom uII comes, guve you your gIILs, Ior Lo HIm you now oIIer LIem. You ure rIgIL: nuLuruI
merILs ure God's merILs In us, noL our own. ¡L Is HIs Ioe wIo, IuIIen LIrougI prIde IImseII, wouId
LeucI us Lo IorgeL. He Is evII Lo enLerLuIn, u rourIng IIon wIo goes ubouL seekIng wIom Ie muy
devour. You ure umong LIose wIo Iuve reuson Lo be on guurd uguInsL IIs wIIes. ¡L Is u
compIImenL ¡ um puyIng you, or ruLIer Lo wIuL you ure Irom God. Be IL In IumIIILy, my IrIend,
noL In deIIunce or wILI bousLIng; und be ever mIndIuI LIuL seII-suLIsIucLIon Is IIke u IuIIIng uwuy
und unLIunkIuIness uguInsL LIe GIver oI uII mercIes!"
TIus our IonesL scIooImusLer, under wIom IuLer ¡ served us LeucIer In LIe gymnusIum.
AdrIun reporLed IL smIIIng, on one oI LIe muny wuIks we Look LIrougI IIeId und IoresL, In LIuL
EusLerLIde uL BucIeI. ¡or Ie spenL severuI weeks oI Ireedom LIere uILer IeuvIng scIooI, und IIs
good purenLs InvILed me Lo beur IIm compuny. WeII ¡ remember LIe LuIks we Iud us we sLroIIed,
ubouL SLoIenLIn's wurnIng, especIuIIy ubouL LIe expressIon "nuLIve merIL" wIIcI Ie Iud used In
IIs IureweII. AdrIun poInLed ouL LIuL Ie Look IL Irom GoeLIe, wIo enjoyed usIng IL, und uIso
"Inborn merILs," seekIng In LIe purudoxIcuI combInuLIon Lo dIvorce Irom LIe word "merIL" ILs
moruI cIurucLer, und, converseIy, Lo exuIL LIe nuLuruI und Inborn Lo u posILIon oI exLru-moruI,
urIsLocruLIc deserL. TIuL wus wIy Ie wus uguInsL LIe cIuIms oI modesLy wIIcI were uIwuys puL
Iorwurd by LIose dIsudvunLuged by nuLure, und decIured LIuL "OnIy good-Ior-noLIIngs ure
modesL." BuL DIrecLor SLoIenLIn Iud used GoeLIe's words more In ScIIIIer's sense, Lo wIom
everyLIIng Iud depended on Ireedom, und wIo LIereIore dIsLInguIsIed In u moruI sense beLween
LuIenL und personuI merIL, sIurpIy dIIIerenLIuLIng merIL und IorLune, wIIcI GoeLIe consIdered Lo
be InexLrIcubIy InLerwoven. TIe dIrecLor IoIIowed ScIIIIer, wIen Ie cuIIed nuLure God und nuLIve
LuIenL LIe merIL oI God In us, wIIcI we were Lo weur In IumIIILy.
"TIe Germuns," suId LIe new undergruduuLe, u gruss bIude In IIs mouLI, "Iuve u Lwo-Lruck
mInd und un InexcusubIe IubIL oI combInuLIon; LIey uIwuys wunL one LIIng und LIe oLIer, LIey
wunL Lo Iuve IL boLI wuys. TIey ure cupubIe oI LurnIng ouL greuL personuIILIes wILI unLILIeLIc
prIncIpIes oI LIougIL und IIIe. BuL LIen LIey muddIe LIem, usIng LIe coInuge oI LIe one In LIe
sense oI LIe oLIer; mIxIng everyLIIng uII up und LIInkIng LIey cun puL Ireedom und urIsLocrucy,
IdeuIIsm und nuLuruI cIIIdIIkeness under one IuL. BuL LIuL probubIy does noL do."
"BuL LIey Iuve boLI In LIemseIves," ¡ reLorLed; "oLIerwIse LIey couId noL Iuve exIIbILed boLI
oI LIem. A rIcI nuLIon."
"A conIused nuLIon," Ie persIsLed, "und bewIIderIng Ior LIe oLIers."
BuL on LIe wIoIe we pIIIosopIIzed LIus buL IILLIe, In LIese IeIsureIy counLry weeks. GeneruIIy
speukIng, Ie wus more IncIIned Lo IuugILer und prunks LIun Lo meLupIysIcuI conversuLIon. HIs
sense oI LIe comIc, IIs Iondness Ior IL, IIs proneness Lo IuugILer, yes, Lo IuugIIng LIII Ie crIed, ¡
Iuve uIreudy spoken oI, und ¡ Iuve gIven buL u IuIse pIcLure oI IIm II LIe reuder Ius noL seen LIIs
kInd oI ubundon us un eIemenL In IIs nuLure. OI Iumour ¡ wouId noL speuk; LIe word sounds Ior
my eur Loo moderuLe, Loo good-nuLured Lo IIL IIm. HIs Iove oI IuugILer wus more IIke un escupe, u
resoIuLIon, sIIgILIy orgIusLIc In ILs nuLure, oI IIIe's munIIoId sLernness; u producL oI exLruordInury
gIILs, buL Lo me never quILe IIkubIe or IeuILIy. ¡ookIng buck upon LIe scIooI IIIe now endIng, Ie
guve LIIs sense oI LIe comIc Iree reIn, recuIIIng droII Lypes umong pupIIs und LeucIers, or
descrIbIng IIs IusL cuILuruI expedILIon und some smuII-Lown operu perIormunce, wIose
ImprovIsuLIons couId noL IuII Lo be u source oI mIrLI, LIougI wILIouL deLrImenL Lo LIe
serIousness oI LIe work perIormed. TIus u puuncIy, knock-kneed KIng HeInrIcI In Lohençrin
wus LIe buLL oI mucI IuugILer; AdrIun wus IIke Lo spIIL over LIe round bIuck mouLI-IoIe In u
beurd IIke u wooIIy rug, ouL oI wIIcI LIere poured IIs LIunderIng buss. TIuL wus buL one
InsLunce, perIups Loo concreLe, oI LIe occusIons Ie Iound Ior IIs puroxysms. OILener LIere wus
no occusIon uL uII, IL wus LIe puresL sIIIIness, und ¡ conIess LIuL ¡ uIwuys Iud cerLuIn dIIIIcuILIes In
secondIng IIm. ¡ do noL Iove IuugILer so mucI, und wIen Ie ubundoned IImseII Lo IL ¡ wus uI-
wuys compeIIed Lo LIInk oI u sLory wIIcI ¡ knew onIy Irom IIm. ¡L wus Irom SL. AugusLIne's De
cititcte Dei und wus Lo LIe eIIecL LIuL Hum, son oI NouI und IuLIer oI ZorousLer LIe mugIun, Iud
been LIe onIy mun wIo IuugIed wIen Ie wus born - wIIcI couId onIy Iuve Iuppened by LIe
IeIp oI LIe DevII. ¡L cume InevILubIy Lo my mInd wIenever LIe occusIon urose; buL probubIy IL
wus onIy un uccompunImenL Lo oLIer InIIbILIons ¡ Iud; Ior InsLunce, ¡ reuIIze LIuL LIe Iook LIuL ¡
InwurdIy dIrecLed upon IIm wus Loo serIous, noL Iree enougI Irom unxIous suspense, Ior me Lo
IoIIow IIm wIoIe-IeurLedIy In IIs ubundon. And perIups my own nuLure Ius u cerLuIn sLIIIness
und dryness LIuL mukes me InupL.
¡uLer Ie Iound In RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, u wrILer und AngIopIIIe wIose ucquuInLunce Ie mude
In ¡eIpzIg, u Iur beLLer purLner In sucI moods - wIereIore ¡ Iuve uIwuys been u IILLIe jeuIous oI
LIe mun.

CHAPTIR XI
AL HuIIe LIeoIogIcuI und pIIIoIogIcuI educuLIonuI LrudILIons ure InLerwoven In muny wuys; und
IIrsL oI uII In LIe IIsLorIcuI IIgure oI AugusL Hermunn ¡runcke, puLron suInL oI LIe Lown, so Lo
speuk: LIuL pIeLIsLIc pedugogue wIo uL LIe end oI LIe sevenLeenLI cenLury - In oLIer words, soon
uILer LIe IounduLIon oI LIe unIversILy- Iormed In HuIIe LIe Iumous ¡runcke ¡ounduLIon oI
scIooIs und orpIunuges, und In IIs own person und by ILs InIIuence unILed LIe reIIgIous InLeresL
wILI LIe IumunIsLIc und IInguIsLIc. And LIen LIe CusLeIn BIbIe ¡nsLILuLe, IIrsL uuLIorILy Ior LIe
revIsIon oI ¡uLIer's Iunguuge work, IL Loo esLubIIsIes u IInk beLween reIIgIon und LexLuuI
crILIcIsm. AIso LIere wus ucLIve In HuIIe uL LIuL LIme un ouLsLundIng ¡uLInIsL, HeInrIcI OsIunder,
uL wIose IeeL ¡ urdenLIy desIred Lo sIL; und more LIun LIuL, us ¡ Ieurd Irom AdrIun, LIe course In
CIurcI IIsLory gIven by ProIessor Huns KegeI, D.D., IncIuded un exLruordInury umounL oI
muLerIuI Ior u sLudenL oI proIune IIsLory, wIIcI ¡ wIsIed Lo uvuII myseII oI, us ¡ InLended Lo eIecL
IIsLory us my subsIdIury course.
TIus LIere wus good InLeIIecLuuI jusLIIIcuLIon wIen, uILer sLudyIng Ior Lwo semesLers In Jenu
und GIessen, ¡ decIded Lo druw my IurLIer nourIsImenL Irom LIe breusL oI AImu MuLer HuIIensIs.
And my ImugInuLIon suw un udvunLuge In LIe IucL LIuL IL wus IdenLIcuI wILI LIe UnIversILy oI
WILLenberg, LIe Lwo IuvIng been unILed wIen LIey were reopened uILer LIe NupoIeonIc Wurs.
¡everküIn Iud muLrIcuIuLed LIere u IuII-yeur beIore ¡ joIned IIm, und oI course ¡ do noL deny
LIuL IIs presence Iud pIuyed u weIgILy, yes, u decIsIve purL In my cIoIce. SIorLIy uILer IIs urrIvuI,
und obvIousIy ouL oI some IeeIIng oI IoneIIness und Iorsukenness, Ie Iud even proposed Lo me Lo
joIn IIm; und LIougI some monLIs wouId Iuve Lo puss beIore ¡ unswered IIs cuII, ¡ wus uL once
reudy, yes, probubIy wouId noL Iuve needed LIe InvILuLIon. My own wIsI Lo be neur IIm, Lo see
Iow Ie wenL on, wIuL progress Ie mude und Iow IIs LuIenLs unIoIded In LIe uIr oI ucudemIc
Ireedom, LIIs wIsI Lo IIve In duIIy InLercourse wILI IIm, Lo wuLcI over IIm, Lo Iuve un eye on IIm
Irom neur by, wouId very IIkeIy Iuve been enougI oI ILseII Lo Luke me Lo IIm. And LIere were
besIdes, us ¡ suId, suIIIcIng InLeIIecLuuI grounds.
OI course In LIese puges ¡ cun onIy pIcLure In u IoresIorLened Iorm, jusL us ¡ dId wILI IIs
scIooI-duys, LIe Lwo yeurs oI our youLI LIuL ¡ spenL uL HuIIe wILI my IrIend; LIe course oI LIem
InLerrupLed, Indeed, by IoIIduys In KuIsersuscIern und uL IIs IuLIer's Iurm. Were LIey Iuppy
yeurs? Yes, LIey were, In LIe sense LIuL LIey were LIe core oI u perIod wIen wILI my senses uL
LIeIr IresIesL ¡ wus IreeIy seeIng, seurcIIng, und guLIerIng In. Huppy Loo In LIuL ¡ spenL LIem uL
LIe sIde oI u cIIIdIood compunIon Lo wIom ¡ cIung, yes, wIose IIIe-probIem, IIs beIng und
becomIng, uL boLLom InLeresLed me more LIun my own. ¡or my own wus sImpIe, ¡ dId noL need Lo
spend mucI LIougIL on IL, onIy Lo ensure by IuILIIuI work LIe posLuIuLes Ior ILs prescrIbed
soIuLIon. HIs wus IIgIer und In u sense more puzzIIng, u probIem upon wIIcI LIe concern ubouL
my own progress uIwuys IeIL me mucI LIme und menLuI energy Lo dweII. ¡I ¡ IesILuLe Lo descrIbe
LIose yeurs by LIe epILIeL "Iuppy" - uIwuys u quesLIonubIe word - IL Is becuuse by ussocIuLIon
wILI IIm ¡ wus druwn mucI more eIIecLIveIy InLo IIs spIere oI sLudIes LIun Ie InLo mIne, und LIe
LIeoIogIcuI uIr dId noL suIL me. ¡L wus noL cunny, IL cIoked me; besIdes, IL puL me In un Inwurd
dIIemmu. TIe InLeIIecLuuI uLmospIere LIere Iud been Ior cenLurIes IuII oI reIIgIous conLroversy,
oI LIose eccIesIusLIcuI bruwIs wIIcI Iuve uIwuys been so deLrImenLuI Lo LIe IumunIsLIc ImpuIse
Lo cuILure. ¡n HuIIe ¡ IeIL u IILLIe IIke one oI my scIenLIIIc Iorebeurs, CroLus Rubeunus, wIo In 1¸¸o
wus cunon uL HuIIe, und wIom ¡uLIer cuIIed noLIIng eIse LIun "LIe EpIcureun CroLus" or "Dr.
KroLe, IIckspILLIe oI LIe CurdInuI uL MuInz." He even suId "LIe DIveI's sow, LIe Pope," und wus In
every wuy un InLoIerubIe boor, uILIougI u greuL mun. ¡ Iuve uIwuys sympuLIIzed wILI LIe
emburrussmenL LIuL LIe ReIormuLIon cuused Lo spIrILs IIke CroLus, becuuse LIey suw In IL un
InvusIon oI subjecLIve urbILrurIness InLo LIe objecLIve sLuLuLes und ordInunces oI LIe CIurcI.
CroLus Iud LIe scIoIur's Iove oI peuce; Ie gIudIy Ieuned Lo reusonubIe compromIse, wus noL
uguInsL LIe resLILuLIon oI LIe CommunIon cup - und wus Indeed puL uILer LIuL In u puInIuIIy
uwkwurd posILIon, LIrougI LIe deLesLubIe IursIness wILI wIIcI IIs superIor, ArcIbIsIop
AIbrecIL, punIsIed LIe enjoymenL oI LIe CommunIon uL HuIIe In boLI kInds.
So goes IL wILI LoIerunce, wILI Iove oI cuILure und peuce, beLween LIe IIres oI IunuLIcIsm. - ¡L
wus HuIIe LIuL Iud LIe IIrsL ¡uLIerun superInLendenL: JusLus Jonus, wIo wenL LIILIer In 1¸q1
und wus one oI LIose wIo, IIke MeIuncILIon und HuLLen, Lo LIe dIsLress oI Erusmus, Iud gone
over Irom LIe IumunIsLIc cump Lo LIe reIormers. BuL sLIII worse In LIe eyes oI LIe suge oI RoLLer-
dum wus LIe IuLred LIuL ¡uLIer und IIs purLIsuns brougIL down upon cIussIcuI IeurnIng -
¡uLIer Iud personuIIy IILLIe enougI oI IL - us LIe source oI LIe spIrILuuI LurmoII. BuL wIuL wenL
on LIen In LIe bosom oI LIe UnIversuI CIurcI, LIe revoIL oI subjecLIve wIIIuIness, LIuL Is, uguInsL
LIe objecLIve bond, wus Lo repeuL ILseII u Iundred und some yeurs IuLer, InsIde ProLesLunLIsm
ILseII, us u revoIuLIon oI pIous IeeIIngs und Inner IeuvenIy joy uguInsL u peLrIIIed orLIodoxy Irom
wIIcI noL even u beggur wouId uny Ionger wunL Lo uccepL u pIece oI breud: us pIeLIsm, LIuL Is,
wIIcI uL LIe IounduLIon oI LIe UnIversILy oI HuIIe munned LIe wIoIe LIeoIogIcuI IucuILy. ¡L Loo,
wIose cILudeI LIe Lown now Iong remuIned, wus, us IormerIy ¡uLIerunIsm, u renewuI oI LIe
CIurcI, u reIorm und reunImuLIon oI LIe dyIng reIIgIon, uIreudy IuIIen InLo generuI IndIIIerence.
And peopIe IIke me muy weII usk LIemseIves wIeLIer LIese recurrenL rescues oI u Iope uIreudy
decIInIng Lo LIe gruve ure Irom u cuILuruI poInL oI vIew Lo be weIcomed; wIeLIer LIe reIormers
ure noL ruLIer Lo be regurded us bucksIIdIng Lypes und brIngers oI evII. Beyond u doubL, endIess
bIood-IeLLIng und LIe mosL IorrIbIe seII-IuceruLIon wouId Iuve been spured LIe Iumun ruce II
MurLIn ¡uLIer Iud noL resLored LIe CIurcI.
¡ sIouId be sorry, uILer wIuL ¡ Iuve suId, Lo be Luken Ior un uLLerIy IrreIIgIous mun. TIuL ¡ um
noL, Ior ¡ go wILI ScIIeIermucIer, unoLIer HuIIe LIeoIogIun, wIo deIIned reIIgIon us "IeeIIng und
LusLe Ior LIe ¡nIInILe" und cuIIed IL "u perLInenL IucL," presenL In LIe Iumun beIng. ¡n oLIer words,
LIe scIence oI reIIgIon Ius Lo do noL wILI pIIIosopIIcuI LIeses, buL wILI un Inwurd und gIven
psycIoIogIcuI IucL. And LIuL remInds me oI LIe onLo-IogIcuI evIdence Ior LIe exIsLence oI God,
wIIcI Ius uIwuys been my IuvourILe, und wIIcI Irom LIe subjecLIve Ideu oI u HIgIesL BeIng
derIves HIs objecLIve exIsLence. BuL KunL Ius sIown In LIe mosL IorLIrIgIL words LIuL sucI u
LIesIs cunnoL supporL ILseII beIore LIe bur oI reuson. ScIence, Iowever, cunnoL geL uIong wILIouL
reuson; und Lo wunL Lo muke u scIence ouL oI u sense oI LIe InIInILe und LIe eLernuI mysLerIes Is Lo
compeI Lwo spIeres IundumenLuIIy IoreIgn Lo eucI oLIer Lo come LogeLIer In u wuy LIuL Is In my
eyes mosL unIuppy und producLIve onIy oI emburrussmenL. SureIy u reIIgIous sense, wIIcI ¡
proLesL Is In no wuy IuckIng In me, Is someLIIng oLIer LIun posILIve und IormuIIy proIessed reII-
gIon. WouId IL noL Iuve been beLLer Lo Iund over LIuL "IucL" oI Iumun IeeIIng Ior LIe InIInILe Lo
LIe sense oI pIeLy, LIe IIne urLs, Iree conLempIuLIon, yes, even Lo exucL reseurcI, wIIcI us cosmoI-
ogy, usLronomy, LIeoreLIcuI pIysIcs, cun serve LIIs IeeIIng wILI enLIreIy reIIgIous devoLIon Lo LIe
mysLery oI creuLIon - InsLeud oI sIngIIng IL ouL us LIe scIence oI LIe spIrIL und deveIopIng on IL
sLrucLures oI dogmu, wIose orLIodox beIIevers wIII LIen sIed bIood Ior u copuIu? PIeLIsm, by
vIrLue oI ILs overemoLIonuI nuLure, wouId Indeed muke u sIurp dIvIsIon beLween pIeLy und scI-
ence, und usserL LIuL no movemenL, no cIunge In LIe scIenLIIIc pIcLure, cun Iuve uny InIIuence on
IuILI. BuL LIuL wus u deIusIon, Ior LIeoIogy Ius uL uII LImes wIIIy-nIIIy IeL ILseII be deLermIned by
LIe scIenLIIIc currenLs oI LIe epocI, Ius uIwuys wunLed Lo be u cIIId oI ILs LIme, uILIougI LIe LIme
(In greuLer or Iess degree) mude LIuL dIIIIcuIL Ior IL und drove IL InLo un unucIronIsLIc corner. ¡s
LIere unoLIer dIscIpIIne uL wIose mere nume we IeeI ourseIves In sucI u degree seL buck InLo LIe
pusL, InLo LIe sIxLeenLI, LIe LweIILI cenLury? TIere Is Iere no possIbIIILy oI udupLuLIon, oI
concessIon Lo scIenLIIIc crILIque. WIuL LIese dIspIuy Is u IybrId IuII-und-IuII oI scIence und beIIeI
In reveIuLIon, wIIcI IIes on LIe wuy Lo seII-surrender. OrLIodoxy ILseII commILLed LIe bIunder oI
IeLLIng reuson InLo LIe IIeId oI reIIgIon, In LIuL sIe sougIL Lo prove LIe posILIons oI IuILI by LIe
LesL oI reuson. Under LIe pressure oI LIe EnIIgILenmenL, LIeoIogy Iud uImosL noLIIng Lo do buL
deIend IerseII uguInsL LIe InLoIerubIe conLrudIcLIons wIIcI were poInLed ouL Lo Ier: und onIy In
order Lo geL round LIem sIe embruced so mucI oI LIe unLI-reveIuLIon spIrIL LIuL IL umounLed Lo
un ubundonmenL oI IuILI. TIuL wus LIe LIme oI LIe "reusonubIe worsIIp oI God," oI u generuLIon
oI LIeoIogIuns In wIose nume WoIII decIured uL HuIIe: "EveryLIIng musL be proved by reuson, us
on LIe pIIIosopIers' sLone": u generuLIon wIIcI pronounced LIuL everyLIIng In LIe BIbIe wIIcI
dId noL serve "moruI beLLermenL " wus ouL oI duLe, und guve ouL LIuL LIe IIsLory und LeucIIng oI
LIe CIurcI were In ILs eyes onIy u comedy oI errors. SInce LIIs wenL u IILLIe Loo Iur, LIere urose un
uccommoduLIon LIeoIogy, wIIcI sougIL Lo upIoId u conservuLIve mIddIe ground beLween
orLIodoxy und u IIberuIIsm uIreudy by vIrLue oI ILs reusonubIeness IncIIned Lo demoruIIzuLIon.
BuL LIe Lwo Ideus "preservIng" und "ubundonIng" Iuve sInce LIen condILIoned LIe IIIe oI "LIe
scIence oI reIIgIon" - Ideus boLI oI wIIcI Iuve someLIIng provIsIonuI ubouL LIem, Ior LIeoIogy
LIerewILI proIonged ILs IIIe. ¡n ILs conservuLIve Iorm, IoIdIng Lo reveIuLIon und LIe LrudILIonuI
exegesIs, IL sougIL Lo suve wIuL wus Lo be suved oI LIe eIemenLs oI BIbIe reIIgIon; on LIe oLIer
Iund IL IIberuIIy uccepLed LIe IIsLorIco-crILIcuI meLIods oI LIe proIune scIence oI IIsLory und
ubundoned Lo scIenLIIIc crILIcIsm ILs own mosL ImporLunL conLenLs: LIe beIIeI In mIrucIes,
consIderubIe porLIons oI CIrIsLoIogy, LIe bodIIy resurrecLIon oI Jesus, und wIuL noL besIdes. BuL
wIuL sorL oI scIence Is LIuL, wIIcI sLunds In sucI u Iorced und precurIous reIuLIon Lo reuson,
consLunLIy LIreuLened wILI desLrucLIon by LIe very compromIses LIuL sIe mukes wILI IL? ¡n my
vIew "IIberuI LIeoIogy" Is u contrcdictio in cdjecto," u conLrudIcLIon In Lerms. A proponenL oI
cuILure, reudy Lo udupL ILseII Lo LIe IdeuIs oI bourgeoIs socIeLy, us IL Is, IL degrudes LIe reIIgIous Lo
u IuncLIon oI LIe Iumun; LIe ecsLuLIc und purudoxIcuI eIemenLs so essenLIuI Lo LIe reIIgIous
genIus IL wuLers down Lo un eLIIcuI progressIveness. BuL LIe reIIgIous cunnoL be suLIsIIed In LIe
mereIy eLIIcuI, und so IL comes ubouL LIuL scIenLIIIc LIougIL und LIeoIogIcuI LIougIL proper purL
compuny uguIn. TIe scIenLIIIc superIorILy oI IIberuI LIeoIogy, IL Is now suId, Is Indeed
InconLesLubIe, buL ILs LIeoIogIcuI posILIon Is weuk, Ior ILs moruIIsm und IumunIsm Iuck InsIgIL
InLo LIe duemonIc cIurucLer oI Iumun exIsLence. CuILured Indeed IL Is, buL sIuIIow; oI LIe Lrue
undersLundIng oI Iumun nuLure und LIe LrugIc nuLure oI IIIe LIe conservuLIve LrudILIon Ius uL
boLLom preserved Iur more; Ior LIuL very reuson IL Ius u proIounder, more sIgnIIIcunL reIuLIon Lo
cuILure LIun Ius progressIve bourgeoIs IdeoIogy.
Here one sees cIeurIy LIe InIIILruLIon oI LIeoIogIcuI LIInkIng by IrruLIonuI currenLs oI
pIIIosopIy, In wIose reuIm, Indeed, LIe non-LIeoreLIc, LIe vILuI, LIe wIII or InsLIncL, In sIorL LIe
duemonIc, Iuve Iong sInce become LIe cIIeI LIeme oI LIeory. AL LIe sume LIme one observes u
revIvuI oI LIe sLudy oI CuLIoIIc medIuevuI pIIIosopIy, u LurnIng Lo Neo-TIomIsm und Neo-
ScIoIusLIcIsm. On LIese IInes LIeoIogy, grown sIckIy wILI IIberuIIsm, cun Luke on deeper und
sLronger, yes, more gIowIng Iues; IL cun once more do jusLIce Lo LIe uncIenL uesLIeLIc
concepLIons wIIcI ure InvoIunLurIIy ussocIuLed wILI ILs nume. BuL LIe cIvIIIzed Iumun spIrIL,
wIeLIer one cuII IL bourgeoIs or mereIy Ieuve IL uL cIvIIIzed, cunnoL geL rId oI u IeeIIng oI LIe
uncunny. ¡or LIeoIogy, conIronLed wILI LIuL spIrIL oI LIe pIIIosopIy oI IIIe wIIcI Is
IrruLIonuIIsm, Is In dunger, by ILs very nuLure, oI becomIng duemonoIogy.
¡ suy uII LIIs onIy In order Lo expIuIn LIe dIscomIorL cuused In me uL LImes by my sLuy In HuIIe
und my purLIcIpuLIon In AdrIun's sLudIes, LIe IecLures LIuL ¡ IoIIowed us u guesL Ieurer In order Lo
Ieur wIuL Ie Ieurd. ¡ Iound In IIm no undersLundIng Ior my uneusIness. He IIked Lo LuIk over
wILI me LIe LIeoIogIcuI probIems LoucIed on In LIe IecLures und debuLed In LIe semInur; buL Ie
uvoIded uny dIscussIon LIuL wouId Iuve gone Lo LIe rooL oI LIe muLLer und Iuve deuIL wILI LIe
probIemuLIc posILIon oI LIeoIogy umong LIe scIences, und LIus Ie evuded precIseIy LIe poInL
wIIcI Lo my eusIIy uroused unxIeLy wus more pressIng LIun uII LIe resL. And so IL wus In LIe
IecLures us weII: und so IL wenL In ussocIuLIon wILI IIs IeIIow-sLudenLs, LIe members oI LIe
CIrIsLIun SLudenLs' UnIon WInIrIed, wIIcI Ie Iud joIned on exLernuI grounds und wIose guesL ¡
someLImes wus. OI LIuL perIups more IuLer. Here ¡ wIII onIy suy LIuL some oI LIese young peopIe
were LIe puIe-compIexIoned "cundIduLe" Lype, some robusL us peusunLs, some uIso dIsLInguIsIed
IIgures wIo obvIousIy cume Irom good ucudemIc cIrcIes. BuL LIey were uII LIeoIogIuns, und
conducLed LIemseIves us sucI wILI u decenL und godIy cIeerIuIness. How one cun be u
LIeoIogIun, Iow In LIe spIrILuuI cIImuLe oI LIe presenL duy one comes on LIe Ideu oI cIoosIng LIIs
cuIIIng, unIess, Indeed, IL were sImpIy by LIe operuLIon oI IumIIy LrudILIon, LIey dId noL suy, und
Ior my purL IL wouId Iuve been LucLIess und pryIng Lo cross-exumIne LIem. A IorLIrIgIL quesLIon
on LIe subjecL couId uL mosL Iuve been In pIuce und Iud uny cIunce oI resuILs In LIe course oI u
sLudenLs' evenIng joIIIIIcuLIon, wIen Longues und bruIns were Ioosened und IIvened by drInk. BuL
oI course LIe members oI WInIrIed were superIor; LIey condemned noL onIy dueIIIng buL uIso
"boozIng," und so LIey were uIwuys sober - LIuL Is, LIey were InuccessIbIe Lo quesLIons LIey
mIgIL noL IIke Lo unswer. TIey knew LIuL SLuLe und CIurcI needed gIosLIy oIIIcers, und LIey
were prepurIng LIemseIves Ior LIuL cureer. TIeoIogy wus Lo LIem someLIIng gIven - und
someLIIng IIsLorIcuIIy gIven IL cerLuInIy Is.
¡ Iud Lo puL up wILI IL Loo, wIen AdrIun Look IL In LIe sume wuy, uILIougI IL puIned me LIuL
regurdIess oI our IrIendsIIp, rooLed In eurIy duys us IL wus, Ie no more permILLed LIe quesLIon
LIun dId IIs comrudes. TIuL sIows Iow IILLIe Ie IeL one upproucI IIm; wIuL IIxed bounds Ie seL
Lo InLImucy. BuL dId ¡ noL suy LIuL ¡ Iud Iound IIs cIoIce oI u proIessIon sIgnIIIcunL und
cIurucLerIsLIc? Huve ¡ noL expIuIned IL wILI LIe word "KuIsersuscIern"? OILen ¡ cuIIed LIe
LIougIL Lo my uId wIen LIe probIem oI AdrIun's IIeId oI sLudy pIugued me. ¡ suId Lo myseII LIuL
boLI oI us Iud sIown ourseIves Lrue cIIIdren oI LIuL corner oI Germun unLIquILy wIere we Iud
been brougIL up, ¡ us IumunIsL und Ie us LIeoIogIun. And wIen ¡ Iooked round In our new cIrcIe
¡ Iound LIuL our LIeuLre Iud Indeed broudened buL noL essenLIuIIy cIunged.

CHAPTIR XII
HuIIe wus, II noL u meLropoIIs, uL IeusL u Iurge cILy, wILI more LIun Lwo Iundred LIousund
InIubILunLs. YeL despILe uII LIe modern voIume oI ILs LruIIIc, IL dId noL, uL IeusL In LIe IeurL oI LIe
Lown, wIere we boLI IIved, beIIe ILs IoILy unLIquILy. My "sIop," us we sLudenLs suId, wus In LIe
HunsusLrusse, u nurrow Iune beIInd LIe CIurcI oI SL. MorILz, wIIcI mIgIL weII Iuve run ILs
unucIronIsLIc course In KuIsersuscIern. AdrIun Iud Iound un uIcoved room In u gubIed dweIIIng-
Iouse In LIe MurkeL Squure, renLIng Irom LIe eIderIy wIdow oI un oIIIcIuI durIng LIe Lwo yeurs oI
IIs sLuy. He Iud u vIew oI LIe squure, LIe medIuevuI CILy HuII, LIe GoLIIc MurIenIdrcIe, wIose
domed Lowers were connecLed by u sorL oI BrIdge oI SIgIs; LIe sepuruLe "Red Tower," u very re-
murkubIe sLrucLure, uIso In GoLIIc sLyIe; LIe sLuLue oI RoIund und LIe bronze sLuLue oI HundeI.
TIe room wus noL mucI more LIun udequuLe, wILI some sIIgIL IndIcuLIon oI mIddIe-cIuss
umenILy In LIe sIupe oI u red pIusI cover on LIe squure LubIe In IronL oI LIe soIu, wIere IIs books
Iuy und Ie drunk IIs breukIusL coIIee. He Iud suppIemenLed LIe urrungemenLs wILI u renLed
coLLuge pIuno uIwuys sLrewn wILI sIeeLs oI musIc, some wrILLen by IImseII. On LIe wuII ubove LIe
pIuno wus un urILImeLIcuI dIugrum IusLened wILI druwIng-pIns, someLIIng Ie Iud Iound In u
second-Iund sIop: u so-cuIIed mugIc squure, sucI us uppeurs uIso In Dürer's Melcncolic, uIong
wILI LIe Iour-gIuss, LIe cIrcIe, LIe scuIe, LIe poIyIedron, und oLIer symboIs. Here us LIere, LIe
IIgure wus dIvIded InLo sIxLeen ArubIc-numbered IIeIds, In sucI u wuy LIuL number one wus In
LIe rIgIL-Iund Iower corner, sIxLeen In LIe upper IeIL; und LIe mugIc, or LIe oddILy, sImpIy
consIsLed In LIe IucL LIuL LIe sum oI LIese numeruIs, Iowever you udded LIem, sLruIgIL down,
crosswIse, or dIugonuIIy, uIwuys cume Lo LIIrLy-Iour. WIuL LIe prIncIpIe wus upon wIIcI LIIs
mugIc unIIormILy resLed ¡ never mude ouL, buL by vIrLue oI LIe promInenL pIuce AdrIun Iud gIven
IL over LIe pIuno, IL uIwuys uLLrucLed LIe eye, und ¡ beIIeve ¡ never vIsILed IIs room wILIouL gIvIng
u quIck gIunce, sIunLIng up or sLruIgIL down und LesLIng once more LIe InvurIubIe, IncredIbIe
resuIL.
BeLween my quurLers und AdrIun's LIere wus u goIng Lo und Iro us once beLween LIe BIessed
Messengers und IIs uncIe's Iouse: evenIngs uILer LIeuLre, concerL, or u meeLIng oI LIe WInIrIed
VereIn, uIso In LIe mornIngs wIen one oI us IeLcIed LIe oLIer Lo LIe unIversILy und beIore we seL
ouL we compured ouL noLebooks. PIIIosopIy, LIe reguIur course Ior LIe IIrsL exumInuLIon In
LIeoIogy, wus LIe poInL uL wIIcI our Lwo progrums coIncIded, und boLI oI us Iud puL ourseIves
down wILI KoIonuL NonnenmucIer, LIen one oI LIe IumInurIes oI LIe UnIversILy oI HuIIe. WILI
greuL brIIIIunce und eIun Ie dIscussed LIe pre-SocruLIc, LIe ¡onIun nuLuruI pIIIosopIers,
AnuxImunder, und more exLendedIy PyLIugorus, In LIe course oI wIIcI dIscussIon u good deuI oI
ArIsLoLIe cume In, sInce IL Is uImosL enLIreIy LIrougI LIe SLugIrILe LIuL we Ieurn oI LIe
PyLIugoreun LIeory oI LIe unIverse. We IIsLened, we wroLe down; Irom LIme Lo LIme we Iooked up
InLo LIe mIIdIy smIIIng Iuce oI LIe wIILe-muned proIessor, us we Ieurd LIIs eurIy cosmoIogIcuI
concepLIon oI u sLern und pIous spIrIL, wIo eIevuLed IIs IundumenLuI pussIon, muLIemuLIcs,
ubsLrucL proporLIon, number, Lo LIe prIncIpIe oI LIe orIgIn und exIsLence oI LIe worId; wIo,
sLundIng opposILe AII-NuLure us un InILIuLe, u dedIcuLed one, IIrsL uddressed Ier wILI u greuL
gesLure us "Cosmos," us order und Iurmony, us LIe InLervuI-sysLem oI LIe spIeres, soundIng
beyond LIe runge oI LIe senses. Number, und LIe reIuLIon oI numbers, us consLILuLIng un uII-
embrucIng concepL oI beIng und moruI vuIue: IL wus IIgIIy ImpressIve, Iow LIe beuuLIIuI, LIe
exucL, LIe moruI, Iere soIemnIy IIowed LogeLIer Lo comprIse LIe Ideu oI uuLIorILy wIIcI
unImuLed LIe PyLIugoreun order, LIe esoLerIc scIooI oI reIIgIous renewuI oI IIIe, oI sIIenL
obedIence und sLrIcL subjecLIon under LIe "Autos ephc." ¡ musL cIIde myseII Ior beIng LucLIess,
becuuse InvoIunLurIIy ¡ gIunced uL AdrIun uL sucI words, Lo reud IIs Iook. Or ruLIer IL becume
LucLIess sImpIy becuuse oI LIe dIscomIorL, LIe red, uverLed Iuce, wILI wIIcI Ie meL my guze. He
dId noL Iove personuI gIunces, Ie uILogeLIer reIused Lo enLerLuIn LIem or respond Lo LIem, und IL
Is Iurd Lo undersLund wIy ¡, uwure LIougI ¡ wus oI LIIs pecuIIurILy, couId noL uIwuys resIsL
IookIng uL IIm. By so doIng ¡ LIrew uwuy LIe possIbIIILy oI LuIkIng objecLIveIy uILerwurds, wILIouL
emburrussmenL, on LopIcs Lo wIIcI my wordIess Iook Iud gIven u personuI reIerence.
So mucI LIe beLLer wIen ¡ Iud resIsLed sucI LempLuLIon und prucLIsed LIe dIscreLIon Ie
exucLed. How weII, Ior InsLunce, we LuIked, goIng Iome uILer NonnenmucIer's cIuss, ubouL LIuL
ImmorLuI LIInker, InIIuenLIuI down LIe mIIIennIu, Lo wIose medIuLIon und sense oI IIsLory we
owe our knowIedge oI LIe PyLIugoreun concepLIon oI LIe worId! ArIsLoLIe's docLrIne oI muLLer
und Iorm encIunLed us; muLLer us LIe poLenLIuI, possIbIe, LIuL presses Lowurds Iorm In order Lo
reuIIze ILseII; Iorm us LIe movIng unmoved, LIuL Is mInd und souI, LIe souI oI LIe exIsLIng LIuL
urges IL Lo seII-reuIIzuLIon, seII-compIeLIon In LIe pIenomenon; LIus oI LIe enLeIecIy, wIIcI, u
purL oI eLernILy, peneLruLes und unImuLes LIe body, munIIesLs ILseII sIupIngIy In LIe orgunIc und
guIdes ILs moLIve-power, knows ILs gouI, wuLcIes over ILs desLIny. NonnenmucIer Iud spoken
beuuLIIuIIy und ImpressIveIy ubouL LIese InLuILIons, und AdrIun uppeured exLruordInurIIy
Impressed LIereby. "WIen," Ie suId, "LIeoIogy decIures LIuL LIe souI Is Irom God, LIuL Is
pIIIosopIIcuIIy rIgIL, Ior us LIe prIncIpIe wIIcI sIupes LIe sIngIe munIIesLuLIons, IL Is u purL oI
LIe pure Iorm oI uII beIng, comes Irom LIe eLernuIIy seII-conLempIuLIng conLempIuLIon wIIcI we
cuII God... ¡ beIIeve ¡ undersLund wIuL ArIsLoLIe meunL by LIe word 'enLeIecIy.' ¡L Is LIe ungeI oI
LIe IndIvIduuI, LIe genIus oI IIs IIIe, In wIose uII-knowIng guIdunce IL gIudIy conIIdes. WIuL we
cuII pruyer Is reuIIy LIe sLuLemenL oI LIIs conIIdence, u noLIce-gIvIng or InvocuLIon. BuL pruyer IL
Is correcLIy cuIIed, becuuse IL Is uL boLLom God wIom we LIus uddress."
¡ couId onIy LIInk: Muy LIIne own ungeI prove IImseII IuILIIuI und wIse!
How ¡ enjoyed IeurIng LIIs course oI IecLures uL AdrIun's sIde! BuL LIe LIeoIogIcuI ones, wIIcI
¡ - LIougI noL reguIurIy - uLLended on IIs uccounL, were Ior me u more doubLIuI pIeusure; und ¡
wenL Lo LIem onIy In order noL Lo be cuL oII Irom wIuL occupIed IIm. ¡n LIe currIcuIum oI u
LIeoIogy sLudenL In LIe IIrsL yeurs LIe empIusIs Is on IIsLory und exegesIs, IIsLory oI LIe CIurcI
und oI dogmu, AssyrIoIogy und u vurIeLy oI specIuI subjecLs. TIe mIddIe yeurs beIong Lo
sysLemuLIcs; LIuL Is Lo suy, Lo LIe pIIIosopIy oI reIIgIon, eLIIcs, und upoIogeLIcs. AL LIe end come
LIe prucLIcuI dIscIpIInes, LIe scIence oI preucIIng, cuLecIesIs, LIe cure oI souIs, CIurcI Iuw, und
LIe scIence oI CIurcI governmenL. BuL ucudemIc Ireedom Ieuves mucI room Ior personuI
preIerence, und AdrIun mude use oI IL Lo LIrow over LIe reguIur order, devoLIng IImseII Irom LIe
IIrsL Lo sysLemuLIcs, ouL oI generuI InLeIIecLuuI InLeresL, oI course, wIIcI In LIIs IIeId comes mosL
Lo uccounL; buL uIso becuuse ILs proIessor, EIrenIrIed KumpI, wus LIe "meuLIesL" IecLurer In LIe
wIoIe unIversILy und Iud uILogeLIer LIe IurgesL uLLendunce Irom sLudenLs oI uII yeurs, noL onIy
LIeoIogIcuI ones. ¡ suId Indeed LIuL we boLI Ieurd CIurcI IIsLory Irom KegeI, buL LIose were
compuruLIveIy duII Iours, und LIe LedIous KegeI couId by no meuns vIe wILI KumpI.
TIe IuLLer wus very mucI wIuL LIe sLudenLs cuIIed u "powerIuI personuIILy"; even ¡ couId noL
Iorgo u cerLuIn udmIruLIon Ior IIs LemperumenL, LIougI ¡ dId noL IIke IIm In LIe IeusL und Iuve
never been ubIe Lo beIIeve LIuL AdrIun wus noL uL LImes unpIeusunLIy Impressed by IIs crude
IeurLIness, LIougI Ie dId noL muke Iun oI IIm openIy. PowerIuI Ie cerLuInIy wus, In IIs pIysIcuI
person; u bIg, IuII-bodIed, mussIve mun wILI Iunds IIke cusIIons, u LIunderIng voIce, und un
underIIp LIuL proLruded sIIgILIy Irom mucI LuIkIng und Lended Lo spIL und spuLLer. ¡L Is Lrue LIuL
KumpI usuuIIy reud IIs IecLure Irom u prInLed LexLbook, IIs own producLIon; buL IIs gIory wus
LIe so-cuIIed "exLru puncIes" wIIcI Ie InLerpoIuLed, deIIvered wILI IIs IIsLs LIrusL InLo IIs
verLIcuI Lrouser-pockeLs pusL LIe IIung-buck Irock couL, us Ie sLumped up und down on IIs
pIuLIorm. TIunks Lo LIeIr sponLuneILy, bIunLness, course und IeurLy good Iumour, und
pIcLuresqueIy urcIuIc sLyIe, LIey were uncommonIy popuIur wILI LIe sLudenLs. ¡L wus IIs wuy -
Lo quoLe IIm - Lo suy u LIIng "In good round Lerms, no meuIy-mouLIIng" or "In good oId
Germun, wILIouL mIncIng muLLers." ¡nsLeud oI "gruduuIIy" Ie suId "by u IILLIe und u IILLIe";
InsLeud oI "¡ Iope" Ie suId "¡ Iope und Lrow"; Ie never spoke oI LIe BIbIe oLIerwIse LIun us
Godes Boke. He suId "TIere's IouI work" InsLeud oI "TIere's someLIIng wrong." OI somebody
wIo, In IIs vIew, wus InvoIved In scIenLIIIc error, Ie suId "He's In LIe wrong pew"; oI u vIcIous
mun: "Ie spends IIs IIIe IIke LIe beusLs oI LIe IIeId." He Ioved expressIons IIke: "He LIuL wIII euL
LIe kerneI musL cruck LIe nuL"; or "¡L prIckeLI beLImes LIuL wIII be u sIurp LIorn." MedIuevuI
ouLIs IIke "Gogs wownds," by "Goggys bodye," even "by LIe guLs oI GoIIuLI" cume eusIIy Lo IIs
IIps und - especIuIIy LIe IusL - were receIved by LIe sLudenLs wILI IusLy LrumpIIngs.
TIeoIogIcuIIy speukIng, KumpI wus u represenLuLIve oI LIuL mIddIe-oI-LIe-roud conservuLIsm
wILI crILIcuI und IIberuI LruILs Lo wIIcI ¡ Iuve reIerred. As u sLudenL Ie wus, us Ie LoId us In IIs
perIpuLeLIc exLempores, deud seL on cIussIcuI IILeruLure und pIIIosopIy, und bousLed oI IuvIng
known by IeurL uII oI ScIIIIer's und GoeLIe's "weIgILIer" works. BuL LIen someLIIng Iud come
over IIm, connecLed wILI LIe revIvuI movemenL oI LIe mIddIe oI LIe prevIous cenLury, und LIe
PuuIIne gospeI oI sIn und jusLIIIcuLIon mude IIm Lurn uwuy Irom uesLIeLIc IumunIsm. One musL
be u born LIeoIogIun Lo esLImuLe properIy sucI spIrILuuI desLInIes und Dumuscus experIences.
KumpI Iud convInced IImseII LIuL our LIInkIng Loo Is u broken reed und needs jusLIIIcuLIon, und
precIseIy LIIs wus LIe busIs oI IIs IIberuIIsm, Ior IL Ied IIm Lo see In dogmuLIsm un InLeIIecLuuI
Iorm oI pIurIseeIsm. TIus Ie Iud urrIved uL crILIcIsm oI dogmu by u rouLe opposILe Lo LIuL oI
DescurLes, Lo wIom, on LIe conLrury, LIe seII-cerLuInLy oI LIe conscIousness, LIe coçitcre,
seemed more IegILImuLe LIun uII scIoIusLIc uuLIorILy. Here we Iuve LIe dIIIerence beLween
LIeoIogIcuI und pIIIosopIIcuI suncLIons. KumpI Iud Iound IIs In u bIILIe und IeurLy LrusL In God,
und reproduced IL beIore us Ieurers "In good oId Germun words." He wus noL onIy unLI-pIurIsuIc,
unLI-dogmuLIc, buL uIso unLI-meLupIysIcuI, wILI u posILIon uddressed enLIreIy Lo eLIIcs und
LIeoreLIc knowIedge, u proponenL oI LIe moruIIy bused IdeuI oI personuIILy und mIgILIIy opposed
Lo LIe pIeLIsLIc dIvorce oI worId und reIIgIon; secuIurIy reIIgIous, Indeed, und reudy Ior IeuILIy
enjoymenL, un uIIIrmer oI cuILure, especIuIIy oI Germun cuILure, Ior on every occusIon Ie sIowed
IImseII Lo be u nuLIonuIIsL oI LIe ¡uLIer sLump, ouL oI wIoIe cIoLI. He couId suy oI u mun noLIIng
worse LIun LIuL Ie LIougIL und LuugIL IIke u "IIuLuIenL IurrIner." Red us u Lurkey-cock wILI ruge,
Ie mIgIL udd: "And muy LIe DIveI sIIL on IIm, Amen!" - wIIcI uguIn wus greeLed wILI Ioud
sLumpIngs oI uppIuuse.
HIs IIberuIIsm, LIuL Is, wus noL bused on IumunIsLIc dIsLrusL oI dogmu, buL on reIIgIous doubL
oI LIe reIIubIIILy oI our LIInkIng. ¡L dId noL prevenL IIm Irom beIIevIng sLouLIy In reveIuLIon, nor
Indeed Irom beIng on u very IumIIIur IooLIng wILI LIe DevII, II uIso, oI course, LIe reverse oI u
cordIuI one. ¡ cunnoL und wouId noL InquIre Iow Iur Ie beIIeved In LIe personuI exIsLence oI LIe
GreuL Adversury. ¡ onIy suy Lo myseII LIuL wIerever LIeoIogy Is, und cerLuInIy In so "meuLy" u
personuIILy us EIrenIrIed KumpI, LIere Loo LIe devII beIongs Lo LIe pIcLure und usserLs IIs
compIemenLury reuIILy Lo LIuL oI God. ¡L Is eusy Lo suy LIuL u modern LIeoIogIun Lukes IIm
"symboIIcuIIy." ¡n my vIew LIeoIogy cunnoL be modern- one muy reckon LIuL Lo ILs udvunLuge, oI
course - und us Ior symboIIsm, ¡ cunnoL see wIy one sIouId Luke IeII more symboIIcuIIy LIun
Ieuven. TIe peopIe Iuve cerLuInIy never done so. AIwuys LIe cruss, obsceneIy comIc IIgure oI LIe
"dIveI" Ius been neurer Lo LIem LIun LIe ELernuI MujesLy; und KumpI, In IIs wuy, wus u mun oI
LIe peopIe. WIen Ie spoke wILI reIIsI oI LIe "everIusLIng IIre und brImsLone" und oI "IeII's
boLLomIess pIL," LIuL pIcLuresque Iorm, wIIIe sIIgILIy comIc, uL IeusL currIed more convIcLIon LIun
ordInury words wouId Iuve done. One dId noL uL uII geL LIe ImpressIon LIuL Ie wus speukIng
symboIIcuIIy, buL ruLIer LIuL LIIs wus "good pIuIn Germun, wILI noLIIng meuIy-mouLIed ubouL
IL." ¡L wus LIe sume wILI SuLun IImseII. ¡ dId suy LIuL KumpI, us u scIoIur und mun oI scIence,
mude concessIons Lo crILIcIsm In LIe muLLer oI IILeruI IuILI In LIe BIbIe, und uL IeusL by IILs und
sLurLs "ubundoned" mucI, wILI u greuL uIr oI InLeIIecLuuI respecLubIIILy. BuL uL boLLom Ie suw LIe
ArcI-DeceIver, LIe WIcked ¡Iend cupILuIIy uL work on LIe reuson ILseII und seIdom reIerred Lo
IIm wILIouL uddIng: "Si Dicbolus non esset mendcx et homicidcl" He uppeured reIucLunL Lo
nume IIm sLruIgIL ouL, preIerrIng Lo suy "DIveI" or "DebbIe"; someLImes "LIe greuL oId SerpenL,"
or, wILI IILerury reIIsI, "TImoLIy TempLer." BuL jusL LIIs IuII-jesLIng, IuII-sIrInkIng uvoIdunce
Iud someLIIng oI u grIm und reIucLunL recognILIon ubouL IL. And Ie Iud uL commund sLIII oLIer
pILIy und IorgoLLen epILIeLs, some IomeIy und some cIussIc, sucI us: OId BIuckIe, Abuddon,
BeIIuI, uIso MusLer DIcIs-eL-non-IucIs, BIuck Kuspur, LIe oId SerpenL und LIe ¡uLIer oI ¡Ies. TIey
dId, In u IuII-Iumorous wuy, express IIs IIgIIy personuI und InLImuLe unImosILy Lo LIe GreuL
Adversury.
AILer AdrIun und ¡ Iud puId our IormuI cuII, we were now und uguIn InvILed by KumpI Lo IIs
Iouse, und Look supper wILI IIm, IIs wIIe, und LIeIr Lwo duugILers, wIo Iud gIurIngIy red cIeeks
und IuIr IIrsL weL und LIen so LIgILIy pIuILed LIuL IL sLuck sLruIgIL ouL Irom LIeIr Ieuds. One oI
LIem suId gruce wIIIe LIe resL oI us bowed our Ieuds dIscreeLIy over our pIuLes. TIen LIe musLer
oI LIe Iouse, expuLIuLIng LIe wIIIe on God und LIe worId, LIe CIurcI, LIe unIversILy, poIILIcs,
und even urL und LIe LIeuLre, In unmIsLukubIe ImILuLIon oI ¡uLIer's Tcble Tcll, Iuced powerIuIIy
InLo LIe meuL und drInk, us un exumpIe Lo us und In Loken LIuL Ie Iud noLIIng uguInsL LIe
IeuILIy und cuILured enjoymenL oI LIe good LIIngs oI LIIs worId. He repeuLedIy urged us Lo IuII
Lo, noL Lo despIse LIe good gIILs oI God, LIe Ieg oI muLLon, LIe eIder-bIossom MoseIIe. AILer LIe
sweeL, Lo our Iorror, Ie, Look u guILur Irom LIe wuII, pusIed uwuy Irom LIe LubIe, IIung one Ieg
ucross LIe oLIer, und sung In IIs boomIng voIce, Lo LIe LwungIng oI LIe sLrIngs: "To Wunder Is LIe
MIIIer's Joy," "¡uLzow's WIId ReckIess RIde," "TIe ¡oreIeI," "Gcudecmus Içitur," "WIne,
Women, und Song." Yes, IL Iud Lo come, und IL cume. He sIouLed IL ouL, und beIore our Iuces Ie
Look IIs pIump wIIe round LIe wuIsL. TIen wILI IIs IuL IoreIInger Ie poInLed Lo u durk corner
wIere LIe ruys oI LIe sIuded Iump over LIe supper-LubIe dId noL IuII - "¡ook"! Ie crIed. "TIere
Ie sLunds In LIe corner, LIe mockIng-bIrd, LIe muke-buLe, LIe muIconLenL, LIe sud, bud guesL,
und cunnoL sLund IL Lo see us merry In God wILI IeusLIng und song. BuL Ie sIuII noL Iurm us, LIe
urcI-vIIIuIn, wILI IIs sIy IIery urrows! Apcçel" Ie LIundered, seIzed u roII und IIung IL InLo LIe
durk corner. AILer LIIs Ie Look IIs InsLrumenL uguIn und sung: "He wIo LIe worId wIII joyous
rove."
AII LIIs wus preLLy uwIuI, und ¡ Luke IL AdrIun musL Iuve LIougIL so Loo, LIougI IIs prIde
prevenLed IIm Irom exposIng IIs LeucIer. However, wIen we wenL Iome uILer LIuL IIgIL wILI LIe
DevII, Ie Iud sucI u IIL oI IuugILer In LIe sLreeL LIuL IL onIy gruduuIIy subsIded wILI LIe dIversIon
oI IIs LIougILs.

CHAPTIR XIII
BuL ¡ musL devoLe u Iew words Lo unoLIer IIgure umong our LeucIers; LIe equIvocuI nuLure oI
LIIs mun InLrIgued me, so LIuL ¡ remember IIm beLLer LIun uII LIe resL. He wus PrIvuL-docenL
EberIurd ScIIeppIuss, wIo Ior Lwo semesLers uL LIIs LIme IecLured uL HuIIe umong LIe tenic
leçendi und LIen dIsuppeured Irom LIe scene, ¡ know noL wIILIer. ScIIeppIuss wus u creuLure oI
IurdIy uveruge IeIgIL, puny In IIgure, wrupped In u bIuck cupe or munLIe InsLeud oI un overcouL,
wIIcI cIosed uL LIe LIrouL wILI u IILLIe meLuI cIuIn. WILI IL Ie wore u sorL oI soIL IuL wILI LIe
brIm Lurned up uL LIe sIdes, ruLIer IIke u JesuIL's. WIen we sLudenLs greeLed IIm on LIe sLreeL Ie
wouId Luke IL oII wILI u very sweepIng bow und suy: "Your IumbIe servunL!" ¡L seemed Lo me LIuL
Ie reuIIy dId drug one IooL, buL peopIe dIspuLed IL; ¡ couId noL uIwuys be sure oI IL wIen ¡ suw
IIm wuIk, und wouId ruLIer uscrIbe my ImpressIon Lo u subconscIous ussocIuLIon wILI IIs nume.
¡L wus noL In uny cuse so Iur-IeLcIed, consIderIng LIe nuLure oI IIs Lwo-Iour IecLures. ¡ do noL
remember precIseIy Iow LIey were IIsLed. ¡n muLLer cerLuInIy LIey were u IILLIe vugue, LIey mIgIL
Iuve been cuIIed IecLures on LIe psycIoIogy oI reIIgIon- und very probubIy were. TIe muLerIuI
wus "excIusIve" In ILs nuLure, noL ImporLunL Ior exumInuLIons, und onIy u IundIuI oI InLeIIecLuuI
und more or Iess revoIuLIonury-mInded sLudenLs, Len or LweIve, uLLended IL. ¡ wondered, Indeed,
LIuL LIere were no more, Ior ScIIeppIuss's oIIerIng wus InLeresLIng enougI Lo urouse u more
exLended curIosILy. BuL LIe occusIon wenL Lo prove LIuL even LIe pIquunL IorIeILs ILs popuIurILy
wIen uccompunIed by demunds on LIe InLeIIecL. ¡ Iuve uIreudy suId LIuL LIeoIogy by ILs very
nuLure Lends und under gIven cIrcumsLunces uIwuys wIII Lend Lo become duemonoIogy.
ScIIeppIuss wus u good InsLunce oI LIe LIIng ¡ meun, oI u very udvunced und InLeIIecLuuI kInd, Ior
IIs duemonIc concepLIon oI God und LIe unIverse wus IIIumInuLed by psycIoIogy und LIus mude
uccepLubIe, yes, even uLLrucLIve, Lo LIe modern scIenLIIIc mInd. HIs deIIvery conLrIbuLed Lo LIe
eIIecL, Ior IL wus enLIreIy cuIcuIuLed Lo Impress LIe young. ¡L wus ImprompLu, weII expressed,
wILIouL eIIorL or breuk, smooLI us LIougI prepured Ior LIe press, wILI IuInLIy IronIcuI Lurns oI
pIruse; und Ie spoke noL Irom LIe pIuLIorm buL somewIere uL one sIde, IuII-sILLIng on LIe
buIusLrude, LIe ends oI IIs IIngers InLerIuced In IIs Iup, wILI LIe LIumbs spreud ouL, und IIs
purLed IILLIe beurd movIng up und down. BeLween IL und LIe LwIsLed mousLucIes one suw IIs
poInLed LeeLI IIke LIny spIInLers. ProIessor KumpIs good ouL-und-ouL wuys wILI LIe DevII were
cIIId's pIuy compured Lo LIe psycIoIogIcuI ucLuuIILy wILI wIIcI ScIIeppIuss InvesLed LIe
DesLroyer, LIuL personIIIed IuIIIng-uwuy Irom God. ¡or Ie receIved, II ¡ muy so express myseII,
dIuIecLIcuIIy speukIng, LIe bIuspIemous und oIIensIve InLo LIe dIvIne und IeII InLo LIe empyreun;
decIured LIe vIcIous Lo be u necessury und InsepurubIe concomILunL oI LIe IoIy, und LIe IoIy u
consLunL suLunIc LempLuLIon, un uImosL IrresIsLIbIe cIuIIenge Lo vIoIuLIon.
He demonsLruLed LIIs by InsLunces Irom LIe CIrIsLIun MIddIe Ages, LIe cIussIcuI perIod oI
reIIgIous ruIe over LIe IIIe und spIrIL oI mun, und In purLIcuIur Irom ILs uILImuLe cenLury; LIus
Irom u LIme oI compIeLe Iurmony beLween eccIesIusLIcuI judge und deIInquenL, beLween
InquIsILor und wILcI on LIe IucL oI LIe beLruyuI oI God, oI LIe uIIIunce wILI LIe DevII, LIe IrIgILIuI
purLnersIIp wILI demons. TIe provocuLIon Lo vIce proceedIng Irom LIe sucrosuncL wus LIe
essenLIuI LIIng ubouL IL, IL wus LIe LIIng ILseII, beLruyed Ior InsLunce In LIe cIurucLerIzuLIon by
uposLuLes oI LIe VIrgIn us "LIe IuL womun," or by exLruordInurIIy vuIgur InLerpoIuLIons,
ubomInubIe IIILIInesses, wIIcI LIe DevII mude LIem muLLer Lo LIemseIves uL LIe ceIebruLIon oI
LIe Muss. Dr. ScIIeppIuss, wILI IIs IIngers InLerIuced, repeuLed LIem word Ior word; ¡ reIruIn
Irom doIng so myseII, on grounds oI good LusLe, buL um noL reproucIIng IIm Ior puyIng scIenLIIIc
exucLILude ILs due. ¡L wus odd, uII LIe sume, Lo see LIe sLudenLs conscIenLIousIy wrILIng LIuL sorL
oI LIIng down In LIeIr noLebooks. AccordIng Lo ScIIeppIuss uII LIIs - evII, LIe EvII One IImseII-
wus u necessury emunuLIon und InevILubIe uccompunImenL oI LIe HoIy ExIsLence oI God, so LIuL
vIce dId noL consIsL In ILseII buL goL ILs suLIsIucLIon Irom LIe deIIIemenL oI vIrLue, wILIouL wIIcI IL
wouId Iuve been rooLIess; In oLIer words, IL consIsLed In LIe enjoymenL oI Ireedom, LIe possI-
bIIILy oI sInnIng, wIIcI wus InIerenL In LIe ucL oI creuLIon ILseII.
HereIn wus expressed u cerLuIn IogIcuI IncompIeLeness oI LIe AII-powerIuIness und AII-
goodness oI God; Ior wIuL He Iud noL been ubIe Lo do wus Lo produce In LIe creuLure, In LIuL
wIIcI He Iud IIberuLed ouL oI HImseII und wIIcI wus now ouLsIde HIm, LIe IncupucILy Ior sIn.
TIuL wouId Iuve meunL denyIng Lo LIe creuLed beIng LIe Iree wIII Lo Lurn uwuy Irom God -
wIIcI wouId Iuve been un IncompIeLe creuLIon, yes, posILIveIy noL u creuLIon uL uII, buL u
surrender on LIe purL oI God. God's IogIcuI dIIemmu Iud consIsLed In LIIs: LIuL He Iud been
IncupubIe oI gIvIng LIe creuLure, LIe Iumun beIng und LIe ungeI, boLI IndependenL cIoIce, In
oLIer words Iree wIII, und uL LIe sume LIme LIe gIIL oI noL beIng ubIe Lo sIn. PIeLy und vIrLue, LIen,
consIsLed In mukIng u good use, LIuL Is Lo suy no use uL uII, oI LIe Ireedom wIIcI God Iud Lo
grunL LIe creuLure us sucI - und LIuL, Indeed, II you IIsLened Lo ScIIeppIuss, wus u IILLIe us
LIougI LIIs non-use oI Ireedom meunL u cerLuIn exIsLenLIuI weukenIng, u dImInuLIon oI LIe InLen-
sILy oI beIng, In LIe creuLure ouLsIde oI God.
¡reedom. How exLruordInury LIe word sounded, In ScIIeppIuss's mouLI! Yes, cerLuInIy IL Iud
u reIIgIous empIusIs, Ie spoke us u LIeoIogIun, und Ie spoke by no meuns wILI conLempL. On LIe
conLrury, Ie poInLed ouL LIe IIgI degree oI sIgnIIIcunce wIIcI musL be uscrIbed by God Lo LIIs
Ideu, wIen He Iud preIerred Lo expose men und ungeIs Lo sIn ruLIer LIun wILIIoId Ireedom Irom
LIem. Good, LIen Ireedom wus LIe opposILe oI Inborn sInIessness, Ireedom meunL LIe cIoIce oI
keepIng IuILI wILI God, or IuvIng LruIIIc wILI demons und beIng ubIe Lo muLLer beusLIInesses uL
LIe Muss. TIuL wus u deIInILIon suggesLed by LIe psycIoIogy oI reIIgIon. BuL Ireedom Ius beIore
now pIuyed u roIe, perIups oI Iess InLeIIecLuuI sIgnIIIcunce und yeL noL IuckIng In serIousness, In
LIe IIIe oI LIe peopIes oI LIe eurLI und In IIsLorIcuI conIIIcLs. ¡L does so uL LIIs momenL - us ¡
wrILe down LIIs descrIpLIon oI u IIIe - In LIe wur now rugIng, und us ¡ In my reLreuL IIke Lo
beIIeve, noL IeusL In LIe souIs und LIougILs oI our Germun peopIe, upon wIom, under LIe
domInuLIon oI LIe mosL uuducIous IIcence, Is duwnIng perIups Ior LIe IIrsL LIme In LIeIr IIves u
noLIon oI LIe ImporLunce oI Ireedom. WeII, we Iud noL goL so Iur by LIen. TIe quesLIon oI
Ireedom wus, or seemed, In our sLudenL duys, noL u burnIng one und Dr. ScIIeppIuss mIgIL gIve
Lo LIe word LIe meunIng LIuL suILed LIe Irume oI IIs IecLure und Ieuve uny oLIer meunIngs on
one sIde. ¡I onIy ¡ Iud Iud LIe ImpressIon LIuL Ie dId Ieuve LIem on one sIde; LIuL ubsorbed In
IIs psycIoIogy oI reIIgIon Ie wus noL mIndIuI oI LIem! BuL Ie wus mIndIuI oI LIem; ¡ couId noL
sIuke oII LIe convIcLIon. And IIs LIeoIogIcuI deIInILIon oI Ireedom wus un upoIogIu und u poIemIc
uguInsL LIe "more modern," LIuL Is Lo suy more InsIpId, more ordInury Ideus, wIIcI IIs Ieurers
mIgIL ussocIuLe wILI LIem. See, Ie seemed Lo suy, we Iuve LIe word Loo, IL Is uL our servIce, don'L
LIInk LIuL IL onIy occurs In your dIcLIonurIes und LIuL your Ideu oI IL Is LIe onIy one dIcLuLed by
reuson. ¡reedom Is u very greuL LIIng, LIe condILIon oI creuLIon, LIuL wIIcI prevenLed God
mukIng us prooI uguInsL IuIIIng uwuy Irom HIm. ¡reedom Is LIe Ireedom Lo sIn, und pIeLy
consIsLs In mukIng no use oI IL ouL oI Iove Ior God, wIo Iud Lo gIve IL.
TIus Ie deveIoped IIs LIeme: somewIuL LendenLIousIy, somewIuL muIIcIousIy, II ¡ do noL
deceIve myseII. ¡n sIorL, IL IrrILuLed me. ¡ don'L IIke IL wIen u person wunLs LIe wIoIe sIow; Lukes
LIe word ouL oI IIs opponenL's mouLI, Lurns IL round, und conIuses Ideus wILI IL. TIuL Is done
Loduy wILI LIe uLmosL uuducILy; IL Is LIe muIn ground oI my reLIremenL. CerLuIn peopIe sIouId
noL speuk oI Ireedom, reuson, IumunILy; on grounds oI scrupuIosILy, LIey sIouId Ieuve sucI
words uIone. BuL precIseIy ubouL IumunILy dId ScIIeppIuss speuk, jusL LIuL - oI course In LIe
sense oI LIe "cIussIc cenLurIes oI beIIeI" on wIose spIrILuuI consLILuLIon Ie bused IIs
psycIoIogIcuI dIscussIon. CIeurIy IL wus ImporLunL Lo IIm Lo muke IL undersLood LIuL IumunILy
wus no InvenLIon oI LIe Iree spIrIL, LIuL noL Lo IL uIone dId LIIs Ideu beIong, Ior LIuL IL Iud uIwuys
exIsLed. ¡or exumpIe, LIe ucLIvILIes oI LIe ¡nquIsILIon were unImuLed by LIe mosL LoucIIng
IumunILy. A womun, Ie reIuLed, Iud been Luken, In LIuL "cIussIc" LIme, LrIed und reduced Lo
usIes, wIo Ior IuII sIx yeurs Iud Iud knowIedge oI un Incubus, uL LIe very sIde oI Ier sIeepIng
Iusbund, LIree LImes u week, preIerubIy on IoIy duys. SIe Iud promIsed LIe DevII LIuL uILer
seven yeurs sIe wouId beIong Lo IIm body und souI. BuL sIe Iud been Iucky: Ior jusL beIore LIe
end oI LIe Lerm God In IIs IovIng-kIndness mude Ier IuII InLo LIe Iunds oI LIe ¡nquIsILIon, und
even under u sIIgIL degree oI LIe quesLIon sIe Iud mude u IuII und LoucIIngIy penILenL
conIessIon, so LIuL In uII probubIIILy sIe obLuIned purdon Irom God. WIIIIngIy Indeed dId sIe go
Lo Ier deuLI, wILI LIe express decIuruLIon LIuL even II sIe were Ireed sIe wouId preIer LIe sLuke,
In order Lo escupe Irom LIe power oI LIe demon, so repugnunL Iud Ier IIIe become Lo Ier
LIrougI Ier subjecLIon Lo Ier IIILIy sIn. BuL wIuL beuuLIIuI ununImILy oI cuILure spoke In LIIs
IurmonIous uccord beLween LIe judge und LIe deIInquenL und wIuL wurm IumunILy In LIe
suLIsIucLIon uL snuLcIIng LIrougI IIre IIs souI Irom LIe DevII uL LIe very IusL mInuLe und securIng
Ior IL LIe purdon oI God!
ScIIeppIuss drew our uLLenLIon Lo LIIs pIcLure, Ie summoned us Lo observe noL onIy wIuL eIse
IumunILy couId be buL uIso wIuL IL ucLuuIIy wus. ¡L wouId Iuve been Lo no purpose Lo brIng In un-
oLIer word Irom LIe vocubuIury oI LIe Iree-LIInker und Lo speuk oI IopeIess supersLILIon.
ScIIeppIuss knew Iow Lo use LIIs word Loo, In LIe nume oI LIe "cIussIc" cenLurIes, Lo wIom IL
wus Iur Irom unknown. TIuL womun wILI LIe Incubus Iud surrendered Lo senseIess supersLILIon
und Lo noLIIng eIse. ¡or sIe Iud IuIIen uwuy Irom God, IuIIen uwuy Irom IuILI, und LIuL wus
supersLILIon. SupersLILIon dId noL meun beIIeI In demons und IncubI, IL meunL IuvIng Lo do wILI
LIem Ior Iurm, InvILIng LIe pesLIIence und expecLIng Irom LIem wIuL Is onIy Lo be expecLed Irom
God. SupersLILIon meunL creduIILy, eusy beIIeI In LIe suggesLIons und InsLIguLIons oI LIe enemy oI
LIe Iumun ruce; LIe concepLIon covered uII LIe cIunLs, InvocuLIons, und conjurIng IormuIue, uII
LIe IeLLIng oneseII In wILI LIe bIuck urLs, LIe vIces und crImes, LIe Ilcçellum hcereticorum
jcscincriorum, LIe illusiones dcemonum. TIus mIgIL one deIIne LIe word "supersLILIon," LIus IL
Iud been deIIned, und uILer uII IL wus InLeresLIng Lo see Iow mun cun use words und wIuL Ie cun
geL ouL oI LIem.
OI course LIe dIuIecLIc ussocIuLIon oI evII wILI goodness und IoIIness pIuyed un ImporLunL roIe
In LIe LIeodIcy, LIe vIndIcuLIon oI God In vIew oI LIe exIsLence oI evII, wIIcI occupIed mucI
spuce In ScIIeppIuss's course. EvII conLrIbuLed Lo LIe wIoIeness oI LIe unIverse, wILIouL IL LIe
unIverse wouId noL Iuve been compIeLe; LIereIore God permILLed IL, Ior He wus consummuLe und
musL LIereIore wIII LIe consummuLe - noL In LIe sense oI LIe consummuLeIy good buL In LIe
sense oI AII-sIdedness und recIprocuI enIurgemenL oI IIIe. EvII wus Iur more evII II good exIsLed;
good wus Iur more good II evII exIsLed; yes, perIups - one mIgIL dIsugree ubouL LIIs - evII
wouId noL be evII uL uII II noL Ior LIe good, good noL good uL uII II noL Ior evII. SL. AugusLIne, uL
IeusL, Iud gone so Iur us Lo suy LIuL LIe IuncLIon oI LIe bud wus Lo muke LIe good sLund ouL more
sLrongIy; LIuL IL pIeused LIe more und wus LIe more IoveIy, LIe more IL wus compured wILI LIe
bud. AL LIIs poInL Indeed TIomIsm Iud InLervened, wILI u wurnIng LIuL IL wus dungerous Lo
beIIeve LIuL God wunLed evII Lo Iuppen. God neILIer wunLed LIuL nor dId He wunL evII noL Lo
Iuppen; ruLIer He permILLed, wILIouL wIIIIng or noL-wIIIIng, LIe ruIe oI evII, und LIuL wus
udvunLugeous Lo LIe compIeLeness oI LIe wIoIe. BuL IL wus uberruLIon Lo usserL LIuL God
permILLed evII on uccounL oI LIe good; Ior noLIIng wus Lo be consIdered good excepL IL corre-
sponded Lo LIe Ideu "good" In ILseII, und noL by uccIdenL. AnyIow, suId ScIIeppIuss, LIe probIem
oI LIe ubsoIuLe good und beuuLIIuI cume up Iere, LIe good und beuuLIIuI wILIouL reIerence Lo LIe
evII und ugIy - LIe probIem oI quuIILy wILIouL compurIson. WIere compurIson IuIIs uwuy, Ie
suId, LIe meusure IuIIs uwuy Loo, und one cunnoL speuk oI Ieuvy or IIgIL, oI Iurge or smuII. TIe
good und beuuLIIuI wouId LIen be dIvesLed oI uII buL beIng, unquuIIIIed, wIIcI wouId be very IIke
noL-beIng, und perIups noL preIerubIe Lo IL.
We wroLe LIuL down In our noLebooks, LIuL we mIgIL go Iome more or Iess cIeered. TIe reuI
vIndIcuLIon oI God, In vIew oI LIe puIns oI creuLIon, so we udded, Lo ScIIeppIuss's dIcLuLIon, con-
sIsLed In HIs power Lo brIng good ouL oI evII. TIIs cIurucLerIsLIc cerLuInIy demunded, Lo LIe gIory
oI God, prucLIcuI use, und IL couId noL reveuI ILseII II God Iud noL mude over LIe creuLure Lo sIn.
¡n LIuL cuse LIe unIverse wouId be deprIved oI LIuL good wIIcI God knew Iow Lo creuLe ouL oI
sIn, suIIerIng, und vIce, und LIe ungeIs wouId Iuve Iud Iess occusIon Ior songs oI pruIse. Now
Indeed urose, LIe oLIer wuy round, us IIsLory conLInuuIIy LeucIes, ouL oI good mucI evII, so LIuL
God, Lo prevenL IL, Iud uIso Lo prevenL LIe good, und uILogeLIer mIgIL noL IeL LIe worId uIone. YeL
LIIs wouId Iuve conLrudIcLed HIs exIsLence us creuLor; und LIereIore He Iud Lo creuLe LIe worId
us IL Is - numeIy, suLuruLed wILI evII - LIuL Is Lo suy, Lo Ieuve IL open In purL Lo duemonIc
InIIuences.
¡L never becume quILe cIeur wIeLIer LIese were ucLuuIIy ScIIeppIuss's own dogmus wIIcI Ie
deIIvered Lo us, or wIeLIer Ie wus sImpIy concerned wILI IumIIIurIzIng us wILI LIe psycIoIogy oI
LIe cIussIc cenLurIes oI IuILI. CerLuInIy Ie wouId noL Iuve been u LIeoIogIun wILIouL sIowIng
IImseII sympuLIeLIc wILI sucI u psycIoIogy. BuL LIe reuson ¡ wondered wIy more young men
were noL uLLrucLed Lo IIs IecLures wus LIIs: LIuL wIenever LIe subjecL wus LIe power oI demons
over Iumun IIIe, sex uIwuys pIuyed u promInenL roIe. How couId IL Iuve been oLIerwIse? TIe
duemonIc cIurucLer oI LIIs spIere wus u cIIeI uppurLenunce oI LIe "cIussIcuI psycIoIogy," Ior
LIere IL Iormed LIe IuvourILe urenu oI LIe demons, LIe gIven poInL oI uLLuck Ior God's udversury,
LIe enemy und corrupLer. ¡or God Iud conceded IIm greuLer mugIc power over LIe venereuI ucL
LIun over uny oLIer Iumun ucLIvILy; noL onIy on uccounL oI LIe ouLwurd Indecency oI LIe
commIssIon oI LIIs ucL, buL ubove uII becuuse LIe depruvILy oI LIe IIrsL IuLIer pussed over us
orIgInuI sIn Lo LIe wIoIe Iumun ruce. TIe ucL oI procreuLIon, cIurucLerIzed by uesLIeLIc
dIsgusLIngness, wus LIe expressIon und LIe veIIcIe oI orIgInuI sIn - wIuL wonder LIuL LIe DevII
Iud been IeIL un especIuIIy Iree Iund In IL? NoL Ior noLIIng Iud LIe ungeI suId Lo TobIus: "Over
LIem wIo ure gIven Lo Iewdness LIe demon wIns power." ¡or LIe power oI LIe demons Iuy In LIe
IoIns oI mun, und LIese were meunL, wIere LIe EvungeIIsL suId: "WIen u sLrong mun urmed
wuLcIeLI IIs puIuce, IIs goods remuIn In peuce." TIuL wus oI course Lo be InLerpreLed sexuuIIy;
sucI u meunIng wus uIwuys Lo be deduced Irom enIgmuLIc suyIngs, und keen-eured pIeLy uIwuys
Ieurd IL In LIem.
BuL IL wus usLonIsIIng Iow Iux LIe ungeIIc wuLcI Iud uIwuys been In LIe cuse oI God's suInLs, uL
IeusL so Iur us "peuce" cume In quesLIon. TIe book oI LIe HoIy ¡uLIers wus IuII oI uccounLs Lo LIe
eIIecL LIuL even wIIIe deIyIng uII IIesIIy IusL, LIey Iuve been LempLed by LIe IusL uILer women,
pusL LIe bounds oI beIIeI. "TIere wus gIven Lo me u LIorn In LIe IIesI, LIe messenger oI SuLun, Lo
buIIeL me." TIuL wus un udmIssIon, mude Lo LIe CorInLIIuns, und LIougI LIe wrILer possIbIy
meunL someLIIng eIse by IL, LIe IuIIIng sIckness or LIe IIke, In uny cuse LIe godIy InLerpreLed IL In
LIeIr own wuy und were probubIy rIgIL uILer uII, Ior LIeIr InsLIncL very IIkeIy dId noL err wIen IL
durkIy reIerred Lo LIe demon oI sex In connecLIon wILI LIe LempLuLIons LIuL ussuIIed LIe mInd.
TIe LempLuLIon LIuL one wILIsLood wus Indeed no sIn; IL wus mereIy u prooI oI vIrLue. And yeL LIe
IIne beLween LempLuLIon und sIn wus Iurd Lo druw, Ior wus noL LempLuLIon uIreudy LIe rugIng oI
sIn In LIe bIood, und In LIe very sLuLe oI IIesIIy desIre dId LIere noL IIe mucI concessIon Lo evII?
Here uguIn LIe dIuIecLIcuI unILy oI good und evII cume ouL, Ior IoIIness wus unLIInkubIe wILIouL
LempLuLIon, IL meusured ILseII uguInsL LIe IrIgILIuIness oI LIe LempLuLIon, uguInsL u mun's sIn-
poLenLIuI.
BuL Irom wIom cume LIe LempLuLIon? WIo wus Lo be cursed on ILs uccounL? ¡L wus eusy Lo suy
LIuL IL cume Irom LIe DevII. He wus ILs source, buL LIe curse Iud Lo do wILI ILs objecL. TIe objecL,
LIe instrumentum oI LIe TempLer, wus womun. SIe wus uIso, und by LIuL Loken, Indeed, LIe
InsLrumenL oI IoIIness, sInce IoIIness dId noL exIsL wILIouL rugIng IusL Ior sIn. BuL LIe LIunks sIe
goL Iud u bILLer LusLe. RuLIer LIe remurkubIe und proIoundIy sIgnIIIcunL LIIng wus LIuL LIougI
LIe Iumun beIng, boLI muIe und IemuIe, wus endowed wILI sex, und uILIougI LIe IocuIIzuLIon oI
LIe duemonIc In LIe IoIns IILLed LIe mun beLLer LIun LIe womun, yeL LIe wIoIe curse oI
IIesIIIness, oI sIuvery Lo sex, wus IuId upon LIe womun. TIere wus even u suyIng: "A beuuLIIuI
womun Is IIke u goId rIng In LIe nose oI LIe sow." How mucI oI LIuL sorL oI LIIng, In pusL uges,
Ius noL been suId und IeIL mosL proIoundIy ubouL womun! ¡L Iud Lo do wILI LIe concupIscence oI
LIe IIesI In generuI; buL wus equuLed wILI LIuL oI LIe IemuIe, so LIuL LIe IIesIIIness oI LIe mun
wus puL down Lo Ier uccounL us weII. Hence LIe words: "¡ Iound LIe womun bILLerer LIun deuLI,
und even u good womun Is subjecL Lo LIe coveLousness oI LIe IIesI."
One mIgIL Iuve usked: und LIe good mun Loo? And LIe IoIy mun quILe especIuIIy so? Yes, buL
LIuL wus LIe InIIuence oI LIe womun, wIo represenLed LIe coIIecLIve concupIscence oI LIe worId.
Sex wus Ier domuIn, und Iow sIouId sIe noL, wIo wus cuIIed jeminc, wIIcI cume IuII Irom
jidus und IuII Irom minus - LIuL Is, oI Iesser IuILI - wIy sIouId sIe noL be on evII und IumIIIur
IooLIng wILI LIe obscene spIrILs wIo popuIuLed LIIs IIeId, und quILe purLIcuIurIy suspecL oI
InLercourse wILI LIem, oI wILcIcruIL? TIere wus LIe InsLunce oI LIuL murrIed womun wIo nexL Lo
Ier LrusLIng, sIumberIng spouse Iud currIed on wILI un Incubus, und LIuL Ior yeurs on end. OI
course LIere were noL onIy IncubI buL uIso succubI, und In IucL un ubundoned youLI oI LIe
cIussIcuI perIod IIved wILI un IdoI, wIose dIuboIIc jeuIousy Ie wus In LIe end Lo experIence. ¡or
uILer some yeurs, und more on prucLIcuI grounds LIun ouL oI reuI IncIInuLIon, Ie Iud murrIed u
respecLubIe womun, buL Iud been prevenLed Irom consummuLIng IIs murrIuge becuuse LIe IdoI
Iud uIwuys come und IuIn down beLween LIem. TIen LIe wIIe In jusLIIIubIe wruLI Iud IeIL IIm,
und Ior LIe resL oI IIs IIIe Ie Iud seen IImseII conIIned Lo LIe unuccommoduLIng IdoI.
Even more LeIIIng, ScIIeppIuss LIougIL, Ior LIe psycIoIogIcuI sILuuLIon, wus LIe resLrIcLIon
Imposed upon u youLI oI LIuL sume perIod: IL Iud come upon IIm by no IuuIL oI IIs own, LIrougI
IemuIe wILcIcruIL, und LrugIc Indeed Iud been LIe meuns oI IIs reIeuse. As u commenL upon LIe
sLudIes ¡ pursued In common wILI AdrIun ¡ wIII brIeIIy recounL LIe LuIe, on wIIcI PrIvuL-docenL
ScIIeppIuss dweIL wILI consIderubIe wIL und reIIsI.
AL Merseburg neur ConsLunce, Lowurd LIe end oI LIe IIILeenLI cenLury, LIere IIved un IonesL
young IeIIow, HeInz KIopIgeIsseI by nume und cooper by cuIIIng, quILe sound und weII-buIIL. He
Ioved und wus Ioved by u muIden numed BurbeI, onIy duugILer oI u wIdowed sexLon, und wIsIed
Lo murry Ier, buL LIe young coupIe's desIre meL wILI Ier IuLIer's opposILIon, Ior KIopIgeIsseI wus
poor, und LIe sexLon InsIsLed on u consIderubIe seLLIng-up In IIIe, und LIuL Ie sIouId be u musLer
In IIs Lrude beIore Ie guve IIm IIs duugILer. CuL LIe desIres oI LIe young peopIe Iud proved
sLronger LIun LIeIr puLIence und LIe coupIe Iud premuLureIy become u puIr. And every nIgIL,
wIen LIe sexLon wenL Lo rIng LIe beII, KIopIgeIsseI sIIpped In Lo IIs BurbeI und LIeIr embruces
mude eucI IInd LIe oLIer LIe mosL gIorIous LIIng on eurLI.
TIus LIIngs sLood wIen one duy LIe cooper und some IIveIy compunIons wenL Lo ConsLunce Lo
u cIurcI dedIcuLIon und LIey Iud u good duy und were u bIL beyond LIemseIves, so LIey decIded
Lo go Lo some women. ¡L wus noL Lo KIopIgeIsseI's mInd, Ie dId noL wunL Lo go wILI LIem. BuL LIe
oLIers jeered uL IIm Ior un oId muId und egged IIm on wILI LuunLs uguInsL IIs Ionour und IInLs
LIuL uII wus noL rIgIL wILI IIm; und us Ie couId noL sLund LIuL, und Iud drunk jusL us mucI beer
us LIe oLIers besIdes, Ie IeL IImseII be LuIked round, suId: "Ho-Io, ¡ know beLLer LIun LIuL," und
wenL up wILI LIe oLIers InLo LIe sLews.
BuL now IL cume ubouL LIuL Ie suIIered sucI IrIgILIuI cIugrIn LIuL Ie dId noL know wIuL sorL oI
Iuce Lo puL on. ¡or uguInsL uII expecLuLIon LIIngs wenL wrong wILI IIm wILI LIe sIuL, u HungurIun
womun IL wus, Ie couId gIve no uccounL oI IImseII uL uII, Ie wus jusL noL LIere, und IIs Iury wus
unbounded, IIs IrIgIL us weII. ¡or LIe creuLure noL onIy IuugIed uL IIm, buL sIook Ier Ieud und
guve IL us Ier vIew LIuL LIere musL be someLIIng wrong, IL cerLuInIy Iud u bud smeII, wIen u IIne
IusLy cIup IIke IIm uII oI u sudden wus jusL noL up Lo IL, Ie musL be possessed, somebody musL
Iuve gIven IIm someLIIng - und so on. He puId Ier u goodIy sum so LIuL sIe wouId suy noLIIng,
und wenL Iome greuLIy cusL down.
As soon us Ie couId, LIougI noL wILIouL mIsgIvIng, Ie mude u rendezvous wILI IIs BurbeI, und
wIIIe LIe sexLon wus rIngIng IIs beII LIey Iud u perIecL Iour LogeLIer. He Iound IIs munIy
Ionour resLored und sIouId Iuve been weII conLenL. ¡or usIde Irom LIe one und onIy Ie cured Ior
no one, und wIy sIouId Ie cure ubouL IImseII suve onIy Ior Ier? BuL Ie Iud been uneusy In IIs
mInd ever sInce LIuL one IuIIure; IL gnuwed uL IIm, Ie IeIL Ie musL muke unoLIer LesL: jusL once
und never uguIn, pIuy IuIse Lo IIs deuresL und besL. So Ie sougIL secreLIy Ior u cIunce Lo LesL
IImseII - IImseII und Ier Loo, Ior Ie couId cIerIsI no mIsgIvIng ubouL IImseII LIuL dId noL end
In sIIgIL, even Lender, yeL unxIous suspIcIon oI Ier upon wIom IIs souI Iung.
Now, IL so IeII ouL LIuL Ie Iud Lo LIgILen LIe Ioops oI Lwo cusks In LIe wIne-ceIIur oI LIe Inn
IundIord, u sIckIy poL-beIIy, und LIe mun's wIIe, u comeIy wencI, sLIII preLLy IresI, wenL down
wILI IIm Lo wuLcI IIm work. SIe puLLed IIs urm, puL Iers besIde IL Lo compure, und so demeuned
IerseII LIuL IL wouId Iuve been ImpossIbIe Lo repuIse Ier, suve LIuL IIs IIesI, In uII LIe wIIIIngness
oI IIs spIrIL, wus enLIreIy unubIe, und Ie Iud Lo suy Ie wus noL In LIe Iumour, und Ie wus In u
Iurry, und Ier Iusbund wouId be comIng downsLuIrs, und LIen Lo Luke Lo IIs IeeIs, IeurIng Ier
scornIuI IuugILer beIInd IIm und owIng Ier u debL wIIcI no sLouL IeIIow sIouId ever reIuse Lo
puy.
He wus deepIy Injured und bewIIdered ubouL IImseII, buL ubouL IImseII noL onIy; Ior LIe
suspIcIon LIuL even uILer LIe IIrsL mIsIup Iud Iodged In IIs mInd now enLIreIy IIIIed IIm, und Ie
Iud no more doubL LIuL Ie wus Indeed "possessed." And so, becuuse LIe IeuIIng oI u poor souI
und LIe Ionour oI IIs IIesI us weII were uL sLuke, Ie wenL Lo LIe prIesL und LoId IIm everyLIIng In
IIs eur LIrougI LIe IILLIe gruLIng: Iow Ie wus bewILcIed, Iow Ie wus unubIe, Iow Ie wus
prevenLed wILI everybody buL one, und Iow ubouL uII LIuL und Iud LIe CIurcI uny muLernuI
udvIce Lo gIve uguInsL sucI Injury.
Now, uL LIuL LIme und In LIuL IocuIILy LIe pesLIIence oI wILcIcruIL, uccompunIed by mucI
wunLonness, sIn, und vIce InsLIguLed by LIe enemy oI LIe Iumun ruce, und ubIorrenL Lo LIe
DIvIne MujesLy, Iud been gruveIy wIdespreud, und sLern wuLcIIuIness Iud been mude LIe duLy oI
uII sIepIerds oI souIs. TIe prIesL, uII Loo IumIIIur wILI LIIs kInd oI mIscIIeI, und men beIng
Lumpered wILI In LIeIr besL sLrengLI, wenL Lo LIe IIgIer uuLIorILIes wILI KIopIgeIsseI's
conIessIon. TIe sexLon's duugILer wus urresLed und exumIned, und conIessed, LruIy und
sIncereIy, LIuL In LIe unguIsI oI Ier IeurL over LIe IuILIIuIness oI LIe young mun, IesL Ie be
IIIcIed Irom Ier beIore Ie wus Iers beIore God und mun, sIe Iud procured Irom un oId buLI-
womun u specIIIc, u suIve, suId Lo be mude oI LIe IuL oI un InIunL deud unbupLIzed, wILI wIIcI sIe
Iud unoInLed Ier HeInz on LIe buck wIIIe embrucIng IIm, LrucIng u cerLuIn IIgure LIereon, onIy
In order Lo bInd IIm Lo IerseII. NexL LIe buLIIng-womun wus InLerroguLed, wIo denIed IL sLouLIy.
SIe Iud Lo be brougIL beIore LIe cIvII uuLIorILIes Ior LIe uppIIcuLIon oI meLIods oI quesLIonIng
wIIcI dId noL become LIe CIurcI; und under some pressure LIe expecLed cume Lo IIgIL. TIe oId
womun Iud In IucL u compucL wILI LIe DevII, wIo uppeured Lo Ier In LIe guIse oI u monk wILI
gouL's IeeL und persuuded Ier Lo deny wILI IrIgILIuI curses LIe GodIeud und LIe CIrIsLIun IuILI,
In reLurn Ior wIIcI Ie guve Ier dIrecLIons Ior mukIng noL onIy LIuL Iove uncLIon buL uIso oLIer
sIumeIuI punuceus, umong LIem u IuL, smeured wILI wIIcI u pIece oI wood wouId InsLunLIy rIse
wILI LIe sorcerer InLo LIe uIr. TIe ceremonIes by wIIcI LIe EvII One Iud seuIed IIs pucL wILI LIe
oId crone cume ouL bIL by bIL under repeuLed pressure, und were IuIr-ruIsIng.
EveryLIIng now depended upon LIe quesLIon: Iow Iur wus LIe suIvuLIon oI LIe deceIved one
InvoIved by Ier receIvIng und usIng LIe unIoIy prepuruLIon? UnIuppIIy Ior LIe sexLon's duugILer
LIe oId womun deposed LIuL LIe Drugon Iud IuId upon Ier Lo muke muny converLs. ¡or every
Iumun beIng sIe brougIL Lo IIm by beLruyIng IL Lo LIe use oI IIs gIILs, Ie wouId muke Ier
somewIuL more secure uguInsL LIe everIusLIng IIumes; so LIuL uILer ussIduous mursIuIIIng oI
converLs sIe wouId be urmed wILI un usbesLos buckIer uguInsL LIe IIumes oI IeII. - TIIs wus
BurbeI's undoIng. TIe need Lo suve Ier souI Irom eLernuI dumnuLIon, Lo Leur Ier Irom LIe DevII's
cIuws by yIeIdIng Ier body Lo LIe IIumes, wus perIecLIy uppurenL. And sInce on uccounL oI LIe
IncreusIng ruvuges oI corrupLIon un exumpIe wus bILLerIy needed, LIe Lwo wILcIes, LIe oId one
und LIe young, were burned uL LIe sLuke, one besIde LIe oLIer on LIe open squure. HeInz
KIopIgeIsseI, LIe bewILcIed one, sLood In LIe LIrong oI specLuLors wILI IIs Ieud bured, mur-
murIng pruyers. TIe sIrIeks oI IIs beIoved, cIoked by smoke und unrecognIzubIe wILI
Iourseness, seemed Lo IIm IIke LIe voIce oI LIe Demon, croukIng us uguInsL IIs wIII Ie Issued
Irom Ier. ¡rom LIuL Iour LIe vIIe InIIbILIon wus IIILed Irom IIm, Ior no sooner wus IIs Iove
reduced Lo usIes LIun Ie recovered LIe sInIuIIy uIIenuLed Iree use oI IIs munIood.
¡ Iuve never IorgoLLen LIIs revoILIng LuIe, so cIurucLerIsLIc oI LIe Lone oI ScIIeppIuss's course,
nor Iuve ¡ ever been ubIe Lo be quILe cooI ubouL IL. Among us, beLween AdrIun und me, us weII us
In dIscussIons In WInIrIed IL wus mucI LuIked ubouL; buL neILIer In IIm, wIo wus uIwuys LucILurn
ubouL IIs LeucIers und wIuL LIey suId, nor In IIs LIeoIogIcuI IeIIow-sLudenLs dId ¡ succeed In
rousIng LIe umounL oI IndIgnuLIon wIIcI wouId Iuve suLIsIIed my own unger uL LIe unecdoLe,
especIuIIy uguInsL KIopIgeIsseI. Even Loduy In my LIougILs ¡ uddress IIm breuLIIng vengeunce
und cuII IIm u prIze uss In every sense oI LIe word. WIy dId LIe donkey Iuve Lo LeII? WIy Iud Ie
Lo LesL IImseII on oLIer women wIen Ie Iud LIe one Ie Ioved, Ioved obvIousIy so mucI LIuL IL
mude IIm coId und "ImpoLenL" wILI oLIers? WIuL does "ImpoLenL" meun In LIIs connecLIon,
wIen wILI LIe one Ie Ioved Ie Iud uII LIe poLency oI Iove? ¡ove Is cerLuInIy u kInd oI nobIe
seIecLIve-ness oI sexuuIILy, und II IL Is nuLuruI LIuL sexuuI ucLIvILy sIouId decIIne In LIe ubsence oI
Iove, yeL IL Is noLIIng Iess LIun unnuLuruI II IL does so In LIe presence und Iuce oI Iove. ¡n uny
cuse, BurbeI Iud IIxed und "resLrIcLed" Ier HeInz - noL by meuns oI uny devII's Iocus-pocus buL
by LIe cIurm sIe Iud Ior IIm und LIe wIII by wIIcI sIe IeId IIm us by u speII uguInsL oLIer
LempLuLIons. TIuL LIIs proLecLIon In ILs sLrengLI und InIIuence on LIe youLI's nuLure wus
psycIoIogIcuIIy reInIorced by LIe mugIc suIve und LIe gIrI's beIIeI In IL, ¡ um prepured Lo uccepL,
LIougI IL does seem Lo me sImpIer und more correcL Lo Iook uL LIe muLLer Irom IIs sIde und Lo
muke LIe seIecLIve IeeIIng gIven by IIs Iove responsIbIe Ior LIe InIIbILIon over wIIcI Ie wus so
sLupIdIy upseL. BuL LIIs poInL oI vIew Loo IncIudes LIe recognILIon oI u cerLuIn nuLuruI wonder-
workIng oI LIe spIrILuuI, ILs power Lo uIIecL und modIIy LIe orgunIc und corporeuI In u decIsIve
wuy - und LIIs so Lo speuk mugIc sIde oI LIe LIIng IL wus, oI course, LIuL ScIIeppIuss purposeIy
empIusIzed In IIs commenLs on LIe KIopIgeIsseI cuse.
He dId IL In u quusI-IumunIsLIc sense, In order Lo mugnIIy LIe IoILy Ideu wIIcI LIose
supposedIy sInIsLer cenLurIes Iud Iud oI LIe cIoIce consLILuLIon oI LIe Iumun body. TIey Iud
consIdered II nobIer LIun uII oLIer eurLIIy combInuLIons oI muLLer, und In ILs power oI vurIuLIon
LIrougI LIe spIrILuuI Iud seen LIe expressIon oI ILs urIsLocrucy, ILs IIgI runk In LIe IIerurcIy oI
bodIes. ¡L goL coId or IoL LIrougI Ieur or unger, LIIn wILI uIIIIcLIon; bIossomed In joy; u mere
IeeIIng oI dIsgusL couId produce u pIysIoIogIcuI reucLIon IIke LIuL oI bud Iood, LIe mere sIgIL oI u
dIsI oI sLruwberrIes couId muke LIe skIn oI un uIIergIc person breuk ouL; yes. sIckness und deuLI
couId IoIIow pureIy menLuI operuLIons. BuL IL wus onIy u sLep - LIougI u necessury one - Irom
LIIs InsIgIL InLo LIe power oI LIe mInd Lo uILer ILs own und uccompunyIng pIysIcuI muLLer, Lo LIe
convIcLIon, supporLed by umpIe Iumun experIence, LIuL mInd, wIeLIer wIIIuIIy or noL, wus ubIe,
LIuL Is by mugIc, Lo uILer unoLIer person's pIysIcuI subsLunce. ¡n oLIer words, LIe reuIILy oI
mugIc, oI duemonIc InIIuence und bewILcImenL, wus corroboruLed; und pIenomenu sucI us LIe
evII eye, u compIex oI experIence concenLruLed In LIe sugu oI LIe deuLI-deuIIng eye oI LIe busIIIsk,
were rescued Irom LIe reuIm oI so-cuIIed supersLILIon. ¡L wouId Iuve been cuIpubIe InIumunILy
Lo deny LIuL un Impure souI couId produce by u mere Iook, wIeLIer deIIberuLe or noL, pIysIcuIIy
IurmIuI eIIecLs In oLIers, Ior InsLunce In IILLIe cIIIdren, wIose Lender subsLunce wus especIuIIy
suscepLIbIe Lo LIe poIson oI sucI un eye.
TIus ScIIeppIuss In IIs excIusIve course - excIusIve becuuse IL wus boLI InLeIIecLuuI und
quesLIonubIe. QuesLIonubIe: u cupILu| word, ¡ Iuve uIwuys uscrIbed u IIgI pIIIoIogIcuI vuIue Lo IL.
¡L cIuIIenges one boLI Lo go In Lo und Lo uvoId; unyIow Lo u very cuuLIous goIng-In; und IL sLunds
In LIe doubIe IIgIL oI LIe remurkubIe und LIe dIsrepuLubIe, eILIer In u LIIng - or In u mun.
¡n our bow Lo ScIIeppIuss wIen we meL IIm In LIe sLreeL or In LIe corrIdors oI LIe unIversILy
we expressed uII LIe respecL wILI wIIcI LIe IIgI InLeIIecLuuI pIune oI IIs IecLures InspIred us
Iour by Iour; buL Ie on IIs sIde Look oII IIs IuL wILI u sLIII deeper IIourIsI LIun ours und suId:
"Your IumbIe servunL."

CHAPTIR XIV
MysLIc numbers ure noL mucI In my IIne; ¡ Iud been concerned Lo see LIuL LIey IuscInuLed
AdrIun, wIose InLeresL In LIem Iud been Ior u Iong LIme cIeurIy LIougI sIIenLIy In evIdence. BuL ¡
IeeI u cerLuIn InvoIunLury upprovuI oI LIe IucL LIuL LIe number LIIrLeen, so generuIIy consIdered
unIucky, sLunds uL LIe Ieud oI LIe IoregoIng cIupLer. ¡ um uImosL LempLed Lo LIInk LIuL LIere Is
more LIun cIunce uL work Iere. BuL serIousIy speukIng, IL wus cIunce uILer uII; Ior LIe reuson
LIuL LIIs wIoIe compIex oI HuIIe UnIversILy IIIe, jusL us In LIe eurIIer cuse oI LIe KreLscImur
IecLures, does Iorm u nuLuruI unILy, und IL wus onIy ouL oI consIderuLIon Ior LIe reuder, wIo jusLIy
expecLs dIvIsIons und cuesurus und pIuces wIere Ie cun druw breuLI, LIuL ¡ dIvIded InLo severuI
cIupLers muLLer wIIcI In LIe uuLIor's reuI und cundId opInIon Ius no cIuIm Lo sucI urLIcuIuLIon.
¡I ¡ Iud LIe suy, we sIouId sLIII be In CIupLer X¡, und onIy my Lendency Lo compromIse Ius goL
Dr. ScIIeppIuss IIs number X¡¡¡. ¡ wIsI IIm joy oI IL; yes, ¡ wouId wIIIIngIy Iuve gIven LIe
unIucky numeruI Lo LIe wIoIe corpus oI memorIes oI our sLudenL yeurs uL HuIIe; Ior us ¡ suId
beIore, LIe uIr oI LIuL Lown, LIe LIeoIogIcuI uIr, dId noL suIL me, und my guesL vIsILs Lo AdrIun's
courses were u sucrIIIce wIIcI, wILI mIxed IeeIIngs, ¡ mude Lo our IrIendsIIp.
To ours? ¡ mIgIL beLLer suy Lo mIne; Ior Ie dId noL In LIe IeusL Iuy sLress on my keepIng uL IIs
sIde wIen we wenL Lo Ieur KumpI or ScIIeppIuss; or LIInk LIuL ¡ mIgIL be negIecLIng my own
progrum. ¡ dId IL oI my own Iree wIII, onIy ouL oI LIe ImperuLIve desIre Lo Ieur wIuL Ie Ieurd,
know wIuL Ie Ieurned, to "leep trccl" oj him - Ior LIuL uIwuys seemed Lo me IIgIIy necessury,
LIougI uL LIe sume LIme IuLIIe. A pecuIIurIy puInIuI combInuLIon LIuL: necessILy und IuLIIILy. ¡ wus
cIeur In my own mInd LIuL LIIs wus u IIIe wIIcI one mIgIL Indeed wuLcI over, buL noL cIunge, noL
InIIuence; und my urge Lo keep u consLunL eye on my IrIend, noL Lo sLIr Irom IIs sIde, Iud ubouL IL
someLIIng IIke u premonILIon oI LIe IucL LIuL IL wouId one duy be my Lusk Lo seL down un uccounL
oI LIe ImpressIons LIuL mouIded IIs eurIy IIIe. CerLuInIy so mucI Is cIeur, LIuL ¡ dId noL go InLo
LIe muLLers deuIL wILI ubove jusL In order Lo expIuIn wIy ¡ wus noL purLIcuIurIy comIorLubIe In
HuIIe. My reuson wus LIe sume us LIuL wIIcI mude me so expIIcIL on LIe subjecL oI WendeII
KreLscImur's KuIsersuscIern IecLures: numeIy, becuuse ¡ do und musL sLress LIe ImporLunce oI
mukIng LIe reuder u wILness oI AdrIun's experIences In LIe worId oI InLeIIecL und spIrIL.
On LIe sume ground ¡ InvILe IIm Lo uccompuny us young sons oI LIe Muses on LIe excursIons
we mude In compuny, In LIe beLLer LImes oI LIe yeur, Irom HuIIe. As AdrIun's cIIIdIood InLImuLe,
und oI course becuuse, uILIougI noL u LIeoIogIun, ¡ seemed Lo dIspIuy u decIded InLeresL In LIe
IIeId oI reIIgIous sLudy, ¡ wus weIcomed InLo LIe guesL cIrcIe oI LIe CIrIsLIun SocIeLy WInIrIed
und permILLed Lo sIure In LIe excursIons mude by LIe group In order Lo enjoy LIe beuuLy oI God's
green creuLIon.
TIey Look pIuce more IrequenLIy LIun we sIured LIem. ¡or ¡ need IurdIy suy LIuL AdrIun wus
no very zeuIous purLIcIpunL und IIs membersIIp wus more u muLLer oI Iorm LIun or puncLuuI
perIormunce oI ucLIvILIes. OuL oI courLesy und Lo sIow IIs good wIII Lowurds LIe orgunIzuLIon, Ie
Iud IeL IImseII be persuuded; buL under vurIous preLexLs, mosLIy on uccounL oI IIs IeuducIes, Ie
sLopped uwuy LIIs or LIuL LIme Irom LIe guLIerIngs wIIcI Look LIe pIuce oI LIe sLudenL "beer
evenIngs." Even uILer u yeur or more Ie Iud goL so IILLIe upon LIe "jrere et cochon" IooLIng wILI
LIe sevenLy members LIuL Ie dId noL munuge Lo cuII LIem uII by LIeIr rIgIL numes or uddress
LIem "In LIe sInguIur." BuL Ie wus respecLed umong LIem. TIe sIouLs LIuL greeLed IIm wIen, ¡
musL uImosL suy on rure occusIons, Ie uppeured uL u sessIon In LIe smoke-IIIIed prIvuLe room In
MuLze's Luvern, dId conLuIn u IILLIe Iun uL LIe expense oI IIs supposed mIsunLIropy; buL LIey
expressed genuIne pIeusure us weII. ¡or LIe group esLeemed LIe purL Ie pIuyed In LIeIr
LIeoIogIcuI und pIIIosopIIcuI debuLes, Lo wIIcI, wILIouL IeudIng LIem, Ie wouId oILen LIrow In u
remurk und gIve un InLeresLIng Lurn. TIey were purLIcuIurIy pIeused wILI IIs musIcuI gIIL, wIIcI
wus useIuI becuuse Ie couId uccompuny LIe cusLomury gIee's beLLer LIun LIe oLIers wIo LrIed IL,
wILI more unImuLIon und u IuIIer Lone. AIso Ie wouId obIIge LIe ussembIy wILI u soIo, u LoccuLu
oI BucI, u movemenL oI BeeLIoven or ScIumunn, uL LIe InsLunce oI LIe Ieuder, BuworInskI, u LuII
durk Ieun person, wILI droopIng IIds und mouLI puckered us LIougI Lo wIIsLIe. SomeLImes
AdrIun wouId even sIL down unusked In LIe socIeLy's room uL LIe pIuno, wIose duII IIuL Lone wus
sLrongIy remInIscenL oI LIe InudequuLe InsLrumenL on wIIcI WendeII KreLscImur Iud ImpurLed
IIs knowIedge Lo us In LIe IuII oI LIe Common WeuI, und Iose IImseII In Iree, experImenLuI pIuy.
TIIs especIuIIy Iuppened beIore LIe begInnIng oI u sILLIng, wIIIsL LIe compuny were guLIerIng.
He Iud u wuy, ¡ sIuII never IorgeL IL, oI comIng In, cusuuIIy greeLIng LIe compuny, und LIen,
someLImes wILIouL LukIng oII IIs IuL und couL, IIs Iuce druwn wILI concenLruLIon, goIng sLruIgIL
Lo LIe pIuno, us LIougI LIuL uIone were IIs gouI. WILI u sLrong uLLuck, brIngIng ouL LIe LrunsILIon
noLes, wILI IIILed brows, Ie wouId Lry cIords, prepuruLIons, und resoIuLIons wIIcI Ie muy Iuve
excogILuLed on LIe wuy. BuL LIIs rusIIng uL LIe pIuno us LIougI Ior reIuge: IL Iooked us LIougI
LIe pIuce und ILs occupunLs IrIgILened IIm; us LIougI Ie sougIL sIeILer - ucLuuIIy wILIIn
IImseII - Irom u bewIIderIng sLrungeness InLo wIIcI Ie Iud come.
TIen II Ie wenL on pIuyIng, dweIIIng on u IIxed Ideu, cIungIng und IooseIy sIupIng IL, some one
oI LIose sLundIng round, perIups IILLIe ProbsL, u LypIcuI sLudenL, bIond, wILI IuII-Iong, oIIy IuIr,
wouId usk:
"WIuL Is LIuL?"
"NoLIIng," unswered LIe pIuyer, wILI u sIorL sIuke oI LIe Ieud, more IIke LIe gesLure wILI
wIIcI one sIukes oII u IIy.
"How cun IL be noLIIng," LIe oLIer unswered buck, "sInce you ure pIuyIng IL?"
"He Is ImprovIsIng," expIuIned LIe LuII BuworInskI sensIbIy.
"¡mprovIsIng!" crIed ProbsL, IonesLIy sLurLIed, und peered wILI IIs puIe bIue eyes uL AdrIun's
IoreIeud us LIougI Ie expecLed IL Lo be gIowIng wILI Iever.
Everybody bursL ouL IuugIIng, AdrIun us weII, IeLLIng IIs cIosed Iunds resL on LIe keybourd
und bowIng IIs Ieud over LIem.
"OI, ProbsL, wIuL un uss you ure!" suId BuworInskI. "He Is mukIng up, cun'L you undersLund?
He jusL LIougIL oI LIuL LIIs very mInuLe."
"How cun Ie LIInk up so muny noLes rIgIL und IeIL uL once," ProbsL deIended IImseII, "und
Iow cun Ie suy '¡L Is noLIIng' oI someLIIng Ie Is ucLuuIIy pIuyIng? One sureIy cunnoL pIuy wIuL Is
noL?"
"OI, yes," suId BuworInskI mIIdIy. "One cun pIuy wIuL does noL yeL exIsL."
¡ cun sLIII Ieur u cerLuIn DeuLscIIIn, Konrud DeuLscIIIn, u robusL-IeIIow wILI IuIr IungIng In
sLrIngs on IIs IoreIeud, uddIng: "And everyLIIng wus once noLIIng, my good ProbsL, und LIen
becume someLIIng."
"¡ cun ussure you," suId AdrIun, "LIuL IL reuIIy wus noLIIng, In every sense oI LIe word."
He Iud been benL over wILI IuugILer, buL now Ie IIILed IIs Ieud und you couId see by IIs Iuce
LIuL IL wus no eusy muLLer; LIuL Ie IeIL exposed. ¡ recuII LIuL LIere now ensued u IengLIy dIs-
cussIon on LIe creuLIve eIemenL, Ied by DeuLscIIIn und by no meuns unInLeresLIng. TIe
IImILuLIons were debuLed, wIIcI LIIs concepLIon Iud Lo LoIeruLe, by vIrLue oI cuILure, LrudILIon,
ImILuLIon, convenLIon, puLLern. ¡InuIIy LIe Iumun und creuLIve eIemenL wus LIeoIogIcuIIy
recognIzed, us u Iur, reIIecLed spIendour oI dIvIneIy exIsLenL power; us un ecIo oI LIe IIrsL
uImIgILy summons Lo beIng, und LIe producLIve InspIruLIon us In uny cuse comIng Irom ubove.
Moreover, und quILe In pussIng, IL wus pIeusunL Lo me LIuL ¡ Loo, udmILLed Irom LIe proIune
IucuILy, couId conLrIbuLe wIen usked Lo LIe enLerLuInmenL wILI my vIoI d'umore. ¡or musIc wus
ImporLunL In LIIs cIrcIe, II onIy In u cerLuIn wuy, ruLIer vugueIy und us IL were on prIncIpIe: IL wus
LIougIL oI us un urL comIng Irom God, one Iud Lo Iuve "reIuLIons" wILI IL, romunLIc und devouL,
IIke one's reIuLIons wILI nuLure. MusIc, nuLure, und joyous worsIIp, LIese were cIoseIy reIuLed
und prescrIbed Ideus In LIe WInIrIed. WIen ¡ reIerred Lo "sons oI LIe Muses," LIe pIruse, wIIcI
Lo some perIups wouId seem IurdIy suILubIe Ior sLudenLs oI LIeoIogy, none LIe Iess Iound ILs
jusLIIIcuLIon In LIIs combInuLIon oI IeeIIng, In LIe Iree und reIuxed spIrIL, LIe cIeur-eyed
conLempIuLIon oI LIe beuuLIIuI, wIIcI cIurucLerIzed LIese Lours InLo LIe IeurL oI nuLure, Lo wIIcI
¡ now reLurn.
Two or LIree LImes In LIe course oI our Iour Lerms uL HuIIe LIey were underLuken in corpore,
und BuworInskI summoned up uII LIe sevenLy members oI WInIrIed. AdrIun und ¡ never joIned
LIese muss enLerprIses. BuL sIngIe groups, more InLImuLeIy connecLed, uIso mude sImIIur
excursIons und LIese we repeuLedIy joIned, In compuny wILI u Iew oI LIe beLLer sorL. TIere wus
our Ieuder IImseII; LIe sLurdy DeuLscIIIn; LIen u cerLuIn DungersIeIm, CurI von TeuLIeben, und
some oLIers, numed respecLIveIy Hubmeyer, MuLLIueus ArzL, und ScIuppeIer. ¡ recuII LIeIr
numes und Lo some exLenL LIeIr Iuces; IL were superIIuous Lo descrIbe LIem.
TIe neIgIbourIood oI HuIIe Is u sundy pIuIn, udmILLedIy wILIouL cIurm. BuL u LruIn conveys
you In u Iew Iours up LIe SuuIe InLo IoveIy TIurIngIu, und LIere, mosLIy uL Nuumburg or ApoIdu
(LIe regIon wIere AdrIun's moLIer wus born), we IeIL LIe LruIn und seL ouL wILI rucksucks und
cupes, on sIunks's mure, In uII-duy murcIes, euLIng In vIIIuge Inns or someLImes cumpIng uL LIe
edge oI u wood und spendIng LIe nIgIL In LIe IuyIoIL oI u peusunL's yurd, wukIng In LIe grey duwn
Lo wusI und reIresI ourseIves uL LIe Iong LrougI oI u runnIng sprIng. SucI un InLerIm Iorm oI
IIvIng, LIe enLry oI cILy IoIk, bruIn workers, InLo LIe prImILIve counLrysIde und buck Lo moLIer
eurLI, wILI LIe knowIedge, uILer uII, LIuL we musL - or mIgIL - soon reLurn Lo our usuuI und
"nuLuruI" spIere oI mIddIe-cIuss comIorL: sucI voIunLury screwIng down und sImpIIIIcuLIon Ius
eusIIy, uImosL necessurIIy someLIIng urLIIIcIuI, puLronIzIng, dIIeLLunLe ubouL IL; oI LIIs we were
IumorousIy uwure, und knew Loo LIuL IL wus LIe cuuse oI LIe good-nuLured, LeusIng grIn wILI
wIIcI muny u peusunL meusured us on our requesL Ior IIs IuyIoIL. BuL LIe kIndIy permIssIon we
goL wus due Lo our youLI; Ior youLI, one muy suy, mukes LIe onIy proper brIdge beLween LIe
bourgeoIs und LIe sLuLe oI nuLure; IL Is u pre-bourgeoIs sLuLe Irom wIIcI uII sLudenL romunce
derIves, LIe LruIy romunLIc perIod oI IIIe. To LIIs IormuIu LIe ever InLeIIecLuuIIy IIveIy DeuLscIIIn
reduced LIe subjecL wIen we dIscussed IL In our IoIL beIore IuIIIng usIeep, by LIe wun IIgIL oI LIe
sLubIe IunLern In LIe corner. We deuIL wILI LIe muLLer oI our presenL mode oI exIsLence; und
DeuLscIIIn proLesLed LIuL IL wus poor LusLe Ior youLI Lo expIuIn youLI: u Iorm oI IIIe LIuL
dIscusses und exumInes ILseII LIereby dIssoIves us Iorm, und onIy dIrecL und unconscIous beIng
Ius Lrue exIsLence.
TIe sLuLemenL wus denIed, Hubmeyer und ScIuppeIer conLrudIcLed IL und TeuLIeben Loo
demurred. ¡L mIgIL be sLIII IIner, LIey IronIcuIIy suId, II onIy uge were Lo judge youLI und youLI
couId onIy be LIe subjecL oI ouLsIde observuLIon, us LIougI IL Iud no sIure oI objecLIve mInd. BuL
IL Iud, wIen IL concerned ILseII Loo, und musL be uIIowed Lo speuk us youLI ubouL youLI. TIere
wus someLIIng LIuL one cuIIed u IeeIIng oI IIIe, wIIcI cume neur Lo beIng conscIousness oI seII,
und II IL were Lrue LIuL LIereby LIe Iorm oI IIIe wus ubroguLed, LIen LIere wus no sense oI IIIe
possIbIe uL uII. Mere duII unconscIous beIng, IcILIyosuurus-beIng, wus no good, und Loduy one
musL conscIousIy noL be wunLIng, one musL usserL one's specIIIc Iorm oI IIIe wILI un urLIcuIuLe
IeeIIng oI seII. ¡L Iud Luken u Iong LIme Ior youLI Lo be so recognIzed.
"BuL LIe recognILIon Ius come more Irom pedugogy, LIuL Is Irom LIe oId, AdrIun wus Ieurd Lo
suy, "ruLIer LIun Irom youLI ILseII. ¡L Iound ILseII one duy presenLed, by un eru LIuL uIso LuIks
ubouL LIe cenLury oI LIe cIIId und Ius InvenLed LIe emuncIpuLIon oI womun, uII In uII u very
compIIunL eru, wILI LIe uLLrIbuLe oI un IndependenL Iorm oI IIIe; oI course IL eugerIy ugreed."
"No, ¡everküIn," suId Hubmeyer und ScIuppeIer, und LIe oLIers supporLed LIem. He wus
wrong, LIey suId, uL IeusL Ior LIe mosL purL. ¡L Iud been LIe IeeIIng oI IIIe In youLI ILseII LIuL by
dInL oI becomIng conscIous Iud usserLed ILseII uguInsL LIe worId, wIeLIer or no LIe IuLLer Iud noL
been quILe undecIded Ior recognILIon.
"NoL In LIe IeusL," suId AdrIun. "NoL uL uII undecIded. ¡ suppose one onIy needed Lo suy Lo LIe
eru: '¡ Iuve LIIs und LIIs sense oI IIIe,' und LIe eru jusL mude IL u Iow bow. YouLI knocked on un
open door." Moreover LIere wus noLIIng Lo suy uguInsL IL, provIded youLI und ILs LIme
undersLood eucI oLIer.
"WIy ure you so supercIIIous, ¡everküIn? Don'L you IInd IL good LIuL Loduy youLI geLs ILs
rIgILs In bourgeoIs socIeLy und LIuL LIe vuIues pecuIIur Lo LIe perIod oI deveIopmenL ure
recognIzed?"
"OI, cerLuInIy," suId AdrIun. "BuL ¡ sLurLed, you sLurLed - LIuL Is, we sLurLed - wILI LIe Ideu -"
He wus InLerrupLed by u bursL oI IuugILer. ¡ LIInk IL wus MuLLIueus ArzL wIo suId: "TIuL wus
perIecL, ¡everküIn. You Ied up Lo u cIImux. ¡IrsL you Ieuve us ouL uILogeLIer, LIen you Ieuve your-
seII ouL, LIen you munuge Lo suy 'we,' buL you obvIousIy IInd IL very dIIIIcuIL, you Iurd-boIIed
IndIvIduuIIsL! '
AdrIun rejecLed LIe epILIeL. ¡L wus quILe IuIse, Ie suId, Ie wus no IndIvIduuIIsL, Ie enLIreIy
uccepLed LIe communILy.
"TIeoreLIcuIIy, perIups," unswered ArzL, "und condescendIngIy, wILI AdrIun ¡everküIn
excepLed. He LuIks oI youLI condescendIngIy Loo, us LIougI Ie were noL young IImseII; us LIougI
Ie were IncupubIe oI IncIudIng IImseII und IILLIng In; us Iur us IumIIILy goes Ie knows very IILLIe
ubouL IL."
"BuL we were noL LuIkIng ubouL IumIIILy," AdrIun purrIed, "ruLIer, on LIe conLrury, oI u
conscIous sense oI IIIe." DeuLscIIIn suggesLed LIuL LIey sIouId IeL AdrIun IInIsI wIuL Ie Iud Lo
suy.
"TIuL wus uII," suId LIe IuLLer. "We sLurLed wILI LIe Ideu LIuL youLI Ius cIoser reIuLIons wILI
nuLure LIun LIe muLure mun In u bourgeoIs socIeLy - someLIIng IIke womun, Lo wIom uIso Ius
been uscrIbed, compured wILI mun, u greuLer neurness Lo nuLure. BuL ¡ cunnoL IoIIow. ¡ do noL
IInd LIuL youLI sLunds on u purLIcuIurIy InLImuLe IooLIng wILI nuLure. RuLIer ILs uLLILude Lowurds
Ier Is sIy und reserved, ucLuuIIy sLrunge. TIe Iumun beIng comes Lo Lerms wILI IIs own nuLuruI
sIde onIy wILI LIe yeurs und onIy sIowIy geLs uccommoduLed Lo IL. ¡L Is precIseIy youLI, ¡ meun
more IIgIIy deveIoped youLI, LIuL Is more IIkeIy Lo sIrInk or be scornIuI, Lo dIspIuy IosLIIILy.
WIuL do we meun by nuLure? Woods, meudows, mounLuIns, Lrees, Iukes, beuuLy oI scenery? ¡or
uII LIuL, In my opInIon, youLI Ius mucI Iess oI un eye LIun Ius LIe oIder, more LrunquII mun. TIe
young one Is by no meuns so dIsposed Lo see und enjoy nuLure. HIs eye Is dIrecLed Inwurds,
menLuIIy condILIoned, dIsIncIIned Lo LIe senses, In my opInIon."
"Quod demonstrcmus," suId somebody, very IIkeIy DungersIeIm - "we wunderers IyIng Iere
In our sLruw, murcIIng LIrougI LIe IoresLs oI TIurIngIu Lo EIsenucI und LIe WurLburg."
" '¡n my opInIon,' you uIwuys suy," unoLIer voIce InLerjecLed. "You probubIy meun: 'In my
experIence.' "
"You were jusL reproucIIng me," reLorLed AdrIun, "Ior speukIng condescendIngIy ubouL youLI
und noL IncIudIng myseII. Now uII oI u sudden you LeII me ¡ um mukIng myseII sLund Ior IL."
"¡everküIn," DeuLscIIIn commenLed, "Ius IIs own LIougILs ubouL youLI; buL obvIousIy Ie Loo
regurds IL us u specIIIc Iorm oI IIIe, wIIcI musL be respecLed us sucI; und LIuL Is LIe decIsIve Iuc-
Lor. ¡ onIy spoke uguInsL youLI's dIscussIon oI ILseII In so Iur us LIuL dIsInLegruLes LIe ImmedIucy
oI IIIe. BuL us conscIousness oI seII IL uIso sLrengLIens IIIe, und In LIIs sense - ¡ meun uIso Lo LIIs
exLenL - ¡ cuII IL good. TIe Ideu oI youLI Is u prescrIpLIve rIgIL und preroguLIve oI our peopIe, LIe
Germun peopIe; LIe oLIers scurceIy know IL; youLI us conscIousness oI seII Is us good us un-
known Lo LIem. TIey wonder uL LIe conscIous beurIng oI Germun youLI, Lo wIIcI LIe eIder
secLIons oI LIe popuIuLIon gIve LIeIr ussenL, und even uL LIeIr unbourgeoIs dress. ¡eL LIem! Ger-
mun youLI, precIseIy us youLI, represenLs LIe spIrIL oI LIe peopIe ILseII, LIe Germun spIrIL, wIIcI
Is young und IIIIed wILI LIe IuLure: unrIpe, II you IIke, buL wIuL does unrIpe meun? Germun
deeds were uIwuys done ouL oI u cerLuIn mIgILy ImmuLurILy, und noL Ior noLIIng ure we LIe
peopIe oI LIe ReIormuLIon. TIuL Loo wus u work oI ImmuLurILy. MuLure, LIuL wus LIe ¡IorenLIne
cILIzen oI LIe RenuIssunce, wIo beIore Ie wenL Lo cIurcI suId Lo IIs wIIe: "WeII, IeL us now muke
our bow Lo popuIur error!" BuL ¡uLIer wus unrIpe enougI, enougI oI LIe peopIe, oI LIe Germun
peopIe, Lo brIng In LIe new, LIe purIIIed IuILI. WIere wouId LIe worId be II muLurILy were LIe IusL
word? We sIuII In our unrIpeness voucIsuIe IL sLIII some renewuI, some revoIuLIon."
AILer LIese words oI DeuLscIIIn we were sIIenL Ior u wIIIe. ObvIousIy LIere In LIe durkness
eucI young mun Lurned over In IIs mInd LIe IeeIIngs oI personuI und nuLIonuI youLIIuIness, mIn-
gIIng us one. TIe pIruse "mIgILy ImmuLurILy" Iud cerLuInIy u IIuLLerIng rIng Ior LIe mosL.
"¡I ¡ onIy knew," ¡ cun Ieur AdrIun suy, breukIng LIe sIIence, "Iow IL Is we ure so unrIpe, so
young us you suy we ure, ¡ meun us u peopIe. AILer uII, we Iuve come us Iur us LIe oLIers, und per-
Iups IL Is onIy our IIsLory, LIe IucL LIuL we were u bIL IuLe geLLIng LogeLIer und buIIdIng up u
common conscIousness, wIIcI deIudes us InLo u noLIon oI our uncommon youLIIuIness."
"BuL IL Is probubIy someLIIng eIse," responded DeuLscIIIn. "YouLI In LIe uILImuLe sense Ius
noLIIng Lo do wILI poIILIcuI IIsLory, noLIIng Lo do wILI IIsLory uL uII. ¡L Is u meLupIysIcuI en-
dowmenL, un essenLIuI IucLor, u sLrucLure, u condILIonIng. Huve you never Ieurd oI Germun
BecomIng, oI Germun WunderIng, oI LIe endIess mIgruLIngs oI LIe Germun souI? Even IoreIgners
know our word 'Wcnderlust.' ¡I you IIke, LIe Germun Is LIe eLernuI sLudenL, LIe eLernuI seurcIer,
umong LIe peopIes oI LIe eurLI - "
"And IIs revoIuLIons," AdrIun InLerpoIuLed, wILI IIs sIorL IuugI, "ure LIe puppeL-sIows oI
worId IIsLory."
"Very wILLy, ¡everküIn. BuL yeL ¡ um surprIsed LIuL your ProLesLunLIsm uIIows you Lo be so
wILLy. ¡L Is possIbIe, II necessury, Lo Luke more serIousIy wIuL ¡ meun by youLI. To be young
meuns Lo be orIgInuI, Lo Iuve remuIned neurer Lo LIe sources oI IIIe; IL meuns Lo be ubIe Lo sLund
up und sIuke oII LIe IeLLers oI un ouLIIved cIvIIIzuLIon, Lo dure - wIere oLIers Iuck LIe couruge -
Lo pIunge uguIn InLo LIe eIemenLuI. YouLIIuI couruge, LIuL Is LIe spIrIL oI dyIng und becomIng,
LIe knowIedge oI deuLI und rebIrLI."
"¡s LIuL so Germun?" usked AdrIun. "RebIrLI wus once cuIIed rencscimento und wenL on In
¡LuIy. And 'buck Lo nuLure,' LIuL wus IIrsL prescrIbed In ¡rencI."
"TIe IIrsL wus u cuILuruI renewuI," unswered DeuLscIIIn, "LIe second u senLImenLuI pusLoruI
pIuy."
"OuL oI LIe pusLoruI pIuy," persIsLed AdrIun, "cume LIe ¡rencI RevoIuLIon, und ¡uLIer's
ReIormuLIon wus onIy un oIIsIooL und eLIIcuI bypuLI oI LIe RenuIssunce, ILs uppIIcuLIon Lo LIe
IIeId oI reIIgIon."
"TIe IIeId oI reIIgIon, LIere you ure. And reIIgIon Is uIwuys someLIIng besIdes urcIueoIogIcuI
revIvuI und un unIeuvuI In socIuI crILIcIsm. ReIIgIosILy, LIuL Is perIups youLI ILseII, IL Is LIe
dIrecLness, LIe couruge und depLI oI LIe personuI IIIe, LIe wIII und LIe power, LIe nuLuruI und
duemonIc sIde oI beIng, us IL Ius come InLo our conscIousness uguIn LIrougI KIerkeguurd, Lo
experIence IL In IuII vILuIILy und Lo IIve LIrougI IL."
"Do you consIder LIe IeeIIng Ior reIIgIon u dIsLIncLIveIy Germun gIIL?" usked AdrIun.
"¡n LIe sense ¡ meun, us souIIuI youLI, us sponLuneILy, us IuILI, und Dureresque knIgILIood
beLween DeuLI und DevII - cerLuInIy."
"And ¡runce, LIe Iund oI cuLIedruIs, wIose Ieud wus LIe AII-CIrIsLIun KIng, und wIIcI
produced LIeoIogIuns IIke BossueL und PuscuI?"
"TIuL wus Iong ugo. ¡or cenLurIes ¡runce Ius been murked ouL by IIsLory us LIe Europeun
power wILI LIe unLI-CIrIsLIun mIssIon. OI Germuny LIe opposILe Is Lrue, und LIuL you wouId IeeI
und know, ¡everküIn, II you were noL AdrIun ¡everküIn - In oLIer words, Loo cooI Lo be young,
Loo cIever Lo be reIIgIous. WILI cIeverness one muy go u Iong wuy In LIe CIurcI, buL scurceIy In
reIIgIon."
"Muny LIunks, DeuLscIIIn," IuugIed AdrIun. "¡n good oId Germun words, us EIrenIrIed KumpI
wouId suy, you Iuve gIven IL Lo me sLruIgIL, wILIouL uny meuIy-mouLIIng. ¡ Iuve u IeeIIng LIuL ¡
sIun'L go very Iur In LIe CIurcI eILIer; buL one LIIng Is cerLuIn, LIuL ¡ sIouId noL Iuve become u
LIeoIogIun wILIouL Ier. ¡ know oI course LIuL IL Is LIe mosL LuIenLed umong you, LIose wIo Iuve
reud KIerkeguurd, wIo pIuce LruLI, even eLIIcuI LruLI, enLIreIy In LIe subjecLIve, und rejecL wILI
Iorror everyLIIng LIuL suvours oI Ierd exIsLence. CuL ¡ cunnoL go wILI you In your rudIcuIIsm -
wIIcI cerLuInIy wIII noL Iong persIsL, us IL Is u sLudenL IIcence - ¡ cunnoL go wILI you In your
sepuruLIon, uILer KIerkeguurd, oI CIurcI und CIrIsLIunILy. ¡ see In LIe CIurcI, even us sIe Is
Loduy, secuIurIzed und reduced Lo LIe bourgeoIs, u cILudeI oI order, un InsLILuLIon Ior objecLIve
dIscIpIInIng, cunuIIzIng, bunkIng-up oI LIe reIIgIous IIIe, wIIcI wILIouL Ier wouId IuII vIcLIm Lo
subjecLIvIsL demoruIIzuLIon, Lo u cIuos oI dIvIne und duemonIc powers, Lo u worId oI IunLusLIc
uncunnIness, un oceun oI duemony. To sepuruLe CIurcI und reIIgIon meuns Lo gIve up sepuruLIng
LIe reIIgIous Irom mudness."
"OI, come!" Irom severuI voIces. BuL:
"He Is rIgIL," MuLLIueus ArzL decIured roundIy. TIe oLIers cuIIed IIm LIe SocIuIIsL, becuuse
LIe socIuI wus IIs pussIon. He wus u CIrIsLIun SocIuIIsL und oILen quoLed GoeLIe's suyIng LIuL
CIrIsLIunILy wus u poIILIcuI revoIuLIon wIIcI, IuvIng IuIIed, becume u moruI one. PoIILIcuI, Ie suId
now, IL musL uguIn become, LIuL Is Lo suy socIuI: LIuL wus LIe Lrue und onIy meuns Ior LIe
dIscIpIInIng oI LIe reIIgIous eIemenL, now In dunger oI u degeneruLIon wIIcI ¡everküIn Iud noL
so budIy descrIbed. ReIIgIous socIuIIsm, reIIgIosILy IInked wILI LIe socIuI, LIuL wus IL; Ior
everyLIIng depended on IIndIng LIe rIgIL IInk, und LIe LIeonomIc suncLIon musL be unILed wILI
LIe socIuI, bound up wILI LIe God-gIven Lusk oI socIuI IuIIIImenL. "BeIIeve me," Ie suId, "IL uII
depends on LIe deveIopmenL oI u responsIbIe IndusLrIuI popuIuLIon, un InLernuLIonuI nuLIon oI
IndusLry, wIIcI some duy cun Iorm u rIgIL und genuIne Europeun economIc socIeLy. ¡n IL uII
sIupIng ImpuIses wIII IIe, LIey IIe In LIe germ even now, noL mereIy Ior LIe LecInIcuI
ucIIevemenL oI u new economIc orgunIzuLIon, noL onIy Lo resuIL In u LIorougI sunILuLIon oI LIe
nuLuruI reIuLIons oI IIIe, buL uIso Lo Iound new poIILIcuI orders."
¡ repeuL LIe Ideus oI LIese young peopIe us LIey were uLLered, In LIeIr own LermInoIogy, u sorL
oI Ieurned IIngo, quILe unuwure Iow pompous LIey sounded, IIIngIng ubouL LIe sLIILed und pre-
LenLIous pIruses wILI urLIess vIrLuosILy und seII-suLIsIucLIon. "NuLuruI reIuLIons oI IIIe,"
"LIeonomIc suncLIons," sucI were LIeIr precIosILIes. CerLuInIy LIey couId Iuve puL IL uII more
sImpIy, buL LIen IL wouId noL Iuve been LIeIr scIenLIIIc-LIeoIogIcuI jurgon. WILI gusLo LIey
propounded LIe "probIem oI beIng," LuIked ubouL "LIe spIere oI LIe dIvIne," "LIe poIILIcuI
spIere," or "LIe ucudemIc spIere"; ubouL LIe "sLrucLuruI prIncIpIe," "condILIon oI dIuIecLIc
LensIon," "exIsLenLIuI correspondences," und so on. DeuLscIIIn, wILI IIs Iunds cIusped beIInd IIs
Ieud, now puL LIe "probIem oI beIng" In LIe sense oI LIe geneLIc orIgIn oI ArzL's economIc
socIeLy. TIuL wus noLIIng buL economIc common sense, und noLIIng buL LIIs couId ever be
represenLed In LIe economIc socIeLy. "BuL we musL be cIeur on LIIs poInL, MuLLIueus," suId Ie,
"LIuL LIe socIuI IdeuI oI un economIc socIuI orgunIzuLIon comes Irom uuLonomous LIInkIng In ILs
nuLure enIIgILenIng, In sIorL Irom u ruLIonuIIsm wIIcI Is sLIII by no meuns grusped by LIe mIgILy
Iorces eILIer ubove or beIow LIe ruLIonuI. You beIIeve you cun deveIop u jusL order ouL oI LIe pure
InsIgIL und reuson oI mun, equuLIng LIe jusL und LIe socIuIIy useIuI, und you LIInk LIuL ouL oI IL
new poIILIcuI Iorms wIII come. BuL LIe economIc spIere Is quILe dIIIerenL Irom LIe poIILIcuI, und
Irom economIc expedIency Lo IIsLorIcuIIy reIuLed poIILIcuI conscIousness LIere Is no dIrecL
LrunsILIon. ¡ don'L see wIy you IuII Lo recognIze LIuL. PoIILIcuI orgunIzuLIon reIers Lo LIe SLuLe, u
kInd und degree oI conLroI noL condILIoned by useIuIness; wIereIn oLIer quuIILIes ure repre-
senLed LIun LIose known Lo represenLuLIves oI enLerprIses und secreLurIes oI unIons; Ior InsLunce,
Ionour und dIgnILy. ¡or sucI quuIILIes, my deur cIup, LIe InIubILunLs oI LIe economIc spIere do
noL conLrIbuLe LIe necessury exIsLenLIuI correspondences."
"AcI, DeuLscIIIn, wIuL ure you LuIkIng ubouL?" suId ArzL. "As modern socIoIogIsLs we very weII
know LIuL LIe SLuLe Loo Is condILIoned by uLIIILurIun IuncLIons. TIere Is LIe udmInIsLruLIon oI jus-
LIce und LIe preservuLIon oI order. And LIen uILer uII we IIve In un economIc uge, LIe economIc Is
sImpIy LIe IIsLorIcuI cIurucLer oI LIIs LIme, und Ionour und dIgnILy do noL IeIp LIe SLuLe one joL,
II IL does noL oI ILseII Iuve u grusp oI LIe economIc sILuuLIon und know Iow Lo dIrecL IL."
DeuLscIIIn udmILLed LIuL. BuL Ie denIed LIuL useIuI IuncLIons were LIe essenticl objecLs und
ruIsons d'eLre oI LIe SLuLe. TIe IegILImucy oI LIe SLuLe resIded, Ie suId, In ILs eIevuLIon, ILs sover-
eIgnLy, wIIcI LIus exIsLed IndependenL oI LIe vuIuuLIons oI IndIvIduuIs, becuuse IL - very mucI
In conLrusL Lo LIe sIuIIIIngs oI LIe ConLruL SocIuI - wus LIere bejore LIe IndIvIduuI. TIe supru-
IndIvIduuI ussocIuLIons Iud, LIuL Is, jusL us mucI orIgInuI exIsLence us LIe IndIvIduuI Iumun
beIngs, und un economIsL, Ior jusL LIuL reuson, couId undersLund noLIIng oI LIe SLuLe, becuuse Ie
undersLood noLIIng oI ILs LrunscendenLuI IounduLIon.
To wIIcI TeuLIeben udded:
"¡ um oI course noL wILIouL sympuLIy Ior LIe socIo-reIIgIous combInuLIon LIuL ArzL Is speukIng
Ior, IL Is unyIow beLLer LIun none uL uII, und MuLLIueus Is onIy Loo rIgIL wIen Ie suys LIuL
everyLIIng depends on IIndIng LIe rIgIL combInuLIon. BuL Lo be rIgIL, Lo be uL once poIILIcuI und
reIIgIous, IL musL be oI LIe peopIe, und wIuL ¡ usk myseII Is: cun u new nuLIonuIILy rIse ouL oI un
economIc socIeLy? ¡ook uL LIe RuIr: LIere you Iuve your ussembIy cenLres oI men, yeL no new
nuLIonuI ceIIs. TruveI In LIe IocuI LruIn Irom ¡eunu Lo HuIIe. You wIII see workmen sILLIng Lo-
geLIer, wIo cun LuIk very weII ubouL LurIIIs; buL Irom LIeIr conversuLIon IL does noL uppeur LIuL
LIey Iuve druwn uny nuLIonuI sLrengLI Irom LIeIr common ucLIvILy. ¡n economIcs LIe. nukedIy
IInILe ruIes more und more."
"BuL LIe nuLIonuI Is IInILe Loo," somebody eIse suId, IL wus eILIer Hubmeyer or ScIuppeIer, ¡
don'L know wIIcI. "As LIeoIogIuns we musL noL udmIL LIuL LIe IoIk Is unyLIIng eLernuI. CupucILy
Ior enLIusIusm Is very IIne und u need Ior IuILI very nuLuruI Lo youLI; buL IL Is u LempLuLIon Loo,
und one musL Iook very Iurd uL LIe new groupIngs, wIIcI Loduy, wIen IIberuIIsm Is dyIng oII, ure
everywIere beIng presenLed, Lo see wIeLIer LIey Iuve genuIne subsLunce, und wIeLIer LIe LIIng
creuLIng LIe bond Is ILseII someLIIng reuI or perIups onIy LIe producL oI, IeL us suy, sLrucLuruI
romunLIcIsm, wIIcI creuLes Ior ILseII IdeoIogIcuI connecLIons In u nomInuIIsLIc noL Lo suy
IIcLIonuIIsLIc wuy. ¡ LIInk, or ruLIer ¡ um uIruId, LIuL LIe deIIIed nuLIonuI SLuLe und LIe SLuLe
regurded us u ULopIu ure jusL sucI nomInuIIsLIc sLrucLures; und LIe recognILIon oI LIem, IeL us suy
LIe recognILIon oI Germuny, Ius someLIIng noL bIndIng ubouL IL becuuse IL Ius noLIIng Lo do
wILI personuI subsLunce und quuIILuLIve conLenL. NoLIIng Is usked ubouL LIuL, und wIen one suys
'Germuny' und decIures LIuL Lo be IIs connecLIng IInk, Ie does noL need Lo vuIIduLe IL uL uII. He
wIII be usked by nobody, noL even by IImseII, Iow mucI GermunIsm Ie In IucL und In u personuI
- LIuL Is, In u quuIILuLIve sense - represenLs und reuIIzes; or Iow Iur Ie Is In u posILIon Lo serve
LIe usserLIon oI u Germun Iorm oI IIIe In LIe worId. ¡L Is LIuL wIIcI ¡ cuII nomInuIIsm, or ruLIer
LIe IeLIsI oI numes, wIIcI In my opInIon Is LIe IdeoIogIcuI worsIIp oI IdoIs."
"Good, Hubmeyer," suId DeuLscIIIn. "AII you suy Is quILe rIgIL, und In uny cuse ¡ udmIL LIuL
your crILIcIsm Ius brougIL us cIoser Lo LIe probIem. ¡ dIsugreed wILI MuLLIueus ArzL becuuse LIe
domInuLIon oI LIe uLIIILurIun prIncIpIe In LIe economIc IIeId does noL suIL me; buL ¡ enLIreIy ugree
wILI IIm LIuL LIe LIeonomIc suncLIon In ILseII, LIuL Is Lo suy LIe reIIgIous In generuI, Ius some-
LIIng IormuIIsLIc und unobjecLIve ubouL IL. ¡L needs some kInd oI down-Lo-eurLI, empIrIcuI
conLenL or uppIIcuLIon or conIIrmuLIon, some prucLIce In obedIence Lo God. And so now ArzL Ius
cIosen socIuIIsm und CurI TeuLIeben nuLIonuIIsm. TIese ure LIe Lwo beLween wIIcI we Iuve
Loduy Lo cIoose. ¡ deny LIuL LIere Is un ouLbIddIng oI IdeoIogIes, sInce Loduy nobody Is beguIIed
by LIe empLy word 'Ireedom.' TIere ure In IucL jusL LIese Lwo possIbIIILIes, oI reIIgIous
submIssIon und reIIgIous reuIIzuLIon: LIe socIuI und LIe nuLIonuI. BuL us III Iuck wIII Iuve IL, boLI
oI LIem Iuve LIeIr druwbucks und dungers, und very serIous ones. Hubmeyer Ius expressed
IImseII very LeIIIngIy on u cerLuIn nomInuIIsLIc IoIIowness und personuI Iuck oI subsLunce so
IrequenLIy evIdenL In LIe uccepLunce oI LIe nuLIonuI; und, generuIIy speukIng, one sIouId udd
LIuL IL Is IuLIIe Lo IIIng oneseII InLo LIe urms oI u reInvIgoruLIng objecLIvIsm II IL meuns noLIIng
Ior LIe ucLuuI sIupIng oI one's personuI IIIe buL Is onIy vuIId Ior soIemn occusIons, umong wIIcI
Indeed ¡ counL LIe InLoxIcuLIon oI sucrIIIcIuI deuLI. To u genuIne sucrIIIce Lwo vuIuuLIons und
quuIILuLIve IngredIenLs beIong: LIuL oI LIe LIIng und LIuL oI LIe sucrIIIce... BuL we Iuve cuses
wIere LIe personuI subsLunce, IeL us suy, wus very rIcI In Germunness und quILe InvoIunLurIIy
objecLIvuLed ILseII uIso us sucrIIIce; yeL wIere ucknowIedgmenL oI LIe IoIk-bond noL onIy uLLerIy
IuIIed, buL LIere wus even u permunenL und vIoIenL neguLIon oI IL, so LIuL LIe LrugIc sucrIIIce
consIsLed precIseIy In LIe conIIIcL beLween beIng und conIessIon... So mucI Ior LonIgIL ubouL LIe
nuLIonuI suncLIon. As Ior LIe socIuI, LIe IILcI Is LIuL wIen everyLIIng In LIe economIc IIeId Is
reguIuLed In LIe besL possIbIe munner, LIe probIem oI LIe meunIng und IuIIIImenL oI exIsLence
und u worLIy conducL oI IIIe Is IeIL open, jusL us open us IL Is Loduy. Some duy we sIuII Iuve
unIversuI economIc udmInIsLruLIon oI LIe worId, LIe compIeLe vIcLory oI coIIecLIvIsm. Good; LIe
reIuLIve InsecurILy oI mun due Lo LIe cuLusLropIIc socIuI cIurucLer oI LIe cupILuIIsLIc sysLem wIII
Iuve dIsuppeured; LIuL Is, LIere wIII Iuve vunIsIed Irom Iumun IIIe LIe IusL memory oI rIsk und
Ioss - und wILI IL LIe InLeIIecLuuI probIem. One usks oneseII wIy LIen, conLInue Lo IIve ... "
"WouId you IIke Lo reLuIn LIe cupILuIIsL sysLem, DeuLscIIIn," usked ArzL - "becuuse IL keeps
uIIve LIe memory oI LIe InsecurILy oI Iumun IIIe?"
"No, ¡ wouId noL, my deur ArzL," unswered DeuLscIIIn wILI some IeuL. "SLIII, ¡ muy be uIIowed
Lo IndIcuLe LIe LrugIc unLInomIes oI wIIcI IIIe Is IuII."
"One doesn'L need Lo Iuve LIem poInLed ouL," sIgIed DungersIeIm. "¡L Is cerLuInIy u desperuLe
sILuuLIon, und LIe reIIgIous mun usks IImseII wIeLIer LIe worId reuIIy Is LIe sIngIe work oI u be-
nevoIenL God und noL ruLIer u combIned eIIorL, ¡ wIII noL suy wILI wIom."
"WIuL ¡ sIouId IIke Lo know," remurked von TeuLIeben, "Is wIeLIer LIe young oI oLIer nuLIons
IIe ubouL IIke us, pIuguIng LIemseIves wILI probIems und unLInomIes."
"HurdIy," unswered DeuLscIIIn conLempLuousIy. "TIey Iuve u mucI eusIer und more
comIorLubIe LIme InLeIIecLuuIIy."
"TIe RussIun revoIuLIonury youLI," ArzL usserLed, "sIouId be excepLed. TIere, II ¡ um noL
mIsLuken, LIere Is u LIreIess dIscursIve urgumenLuLIon und u cursed IoL oI dIuIecLIc LensIon."
"TIe RussIuns," suId DeuLscIIIn senLenLIousIy, "Iuve proIundILy buL no Iorm. And In LIe wesL
LIey Iuve Iorm buL no proIundILy. OnIy we Germuns Iuve boLI."
"WeII, II LIuL Is noL u nuLIonuIIsLIc suncLIon!" IuugIed Hubmeyer.
"¡L Is mereIy LIe suncLIon oI un Ideu," DeuLscIIIn usserLed. "¡L Is LIe demund oI wIIcI ¡ speuk.
Our obIIguLIon Is excepLIonuI, cerLuInIy noL LIe uveruge, Ior LIuL we Iuve uIreudy uLLuIned. WIuL
Is und wIuL ougIL Lo be - LIere Is u bIgger guII beLween LIem wILI us LIun wILI oLIers, sImpIy
becuuse LIe 'ougIL Lo be,' LIe sLundurd, Is so IIgI."
"¡n uII LIuL," DungersIeIm wurned us, "we probubIy ougIL noL Lo consIder LIe nuLIonuI, buL
ruLIer Lo regurd LIe compIex oI probIems us bound up wILI LIe exIsLence oI modern mun. BuL IL
Is LIe cuse, LIuL sInce LIe dIrecL IuILI In beIng Ius been IosL, wIIcI In eurIIer LImes wus LIe resuIL
oI beIng IIxed In u pre-exIsLenL unIversuI order oI LIIngs, ¡ meun LIe rILuuIIy permeuLed
reguIuLIons wIIcI Iud u cerLuIn deIInILe beurIng on LIe reveuIed LruLI ... LIuL sInce LIe decIIne oI
IuILI und LIe rIse oI modern socIeLy our reIuLIons wILI men und LIIngs Iuve become endIessIy
compIIcuLed und reIrucLed, LIere Is noLIIng IeIL buL probIems und uncerLuInLIes, so LIuL LIe
desIgn Ior LruLI LIreuLens Lo end In resIgnuLIon und despuIr. TIe seurcI rIsIng Irom
dIsInLegruLIon, Ior LIe begInnIngs oI new Iorces oI order, Is generuI; LIougI one muy uIso ugree
LIuL IL Is purLIcuIurIy serIous und urgenL umong us Germuns, und LIuL LIe oLIers do noL suIIer so
Irom IIsLorIcuI desLIny, eILIer becuuse LIey ure sLronger or becuuse LIey ure duIIer - "
"DuIIer," pronounced von TeuLIeben.
"TIuL Is wIuL you suy, TeuLIeben. BuL II we counL Lo our Ionour us u nuLIon our sIurp
uwureness oI LIe IIsLorIcuI und psycIoIogIcuI compIex oI probIems, und IdenLIIy wILI LIe
Germun cIurucLer LIe endeuvour uILer new unIversuI reguIuLIon, we ure uIreudy on LIe poInL oI
prescrIbIng Ior ourseIves u myLI oI doubLIuI genuIneness und noL doubLIuI urrogunce: numeIy,
LIe nuLIonuI, wILI ILs sLrucLuruI romunLIcIsm oI LIe wurrIor Lype, wIIcI Is noLIIng buL nuLuruI
pugunIsm wILI CIrIsLIun LrImmIngs und IdenLIIIes CIrIsLus us '¡ord oI LIe IeuvenIy IosLs.' BuL
LIuL Is u posILIon decIsIveIy LIreuLened Irom LIe sIde oI LIe demons... "
"WeII, und?" usked DeuLscIIIn. "DuemonIc powers sLund besIde LIe order-mukIng quuIILIes In
uny vILuI movemenL."
"¡eL us cuII LIIngs by LIeIr numes," demunded ScIuppeIer - or IL mIgIL Iuve been Hubmeyer.
"TIe duemonIc, LIe Germun word Ior LIuL Is LIe InsLIncLs. And LIuL Is jusL IL: Loduy even, uIong
wILI LIe InsLIncLs, propugundu Is mude Ior cIuIms Lo uII sorLs oI suncLIons, und LIuL one Loo, ¡
meun, IL Lukes LIem In und LrIms up LIe oId IdeuIIsm wILI LIe psycIoIogy oI InsLIncL, so LIuL LIere
urIses LIe duzzIIng ImpressIon oI u LIIcker densILy oI reuIILy. BuL jusL on LIuL uccounL LIe bId cun
be pure swIndIe."
AL LIIs poInL one cun onIy suy "und so on"; Ior IL Is LIme Lo puL un end Lo LIe reproducLIon oI
LIuL conversuLIon - or oI sucI conversuLIons. ¡n reuIILy IL Iud no end, IL wenL on deep InLo LIe
nIgIL, on und on, wILI "bIpoIur posILIon" und "IIsLorIcuIIy conscIous unuIysIs," wILI "exLru-
LemporuI quuIILIes," "onLoIogIcuI nuLuruIIsm," "IogIcuI dIuIecLIc," und "prucLIcuI dIuIecLIc":
puInsLukIng, sIoreIess, Ieurned, LuIIIng oII InLo noLIIng - LIuL Is, InLo sIumber, Lo wIIcI our
Ieuder BuworInskI recommended us, Ior In LIe mornIng - us IL uIreudy uImosL wus - we sIouId
be due Ior un eurIy sLurL. TIuL kInd nuLure IeId sIeep reudy, Lo Luke up LIe conversuLIon und rock
IL In IorgeLIuIness, wus u gruLeIuI cIrcumsLunce, und AdrIun, wIo Iud noL spoken Ior u Iong LIme,
guve IL expressIon In u Iew words us we seLLIed down.
"Yes, good nIgIL, Iucky we cun suy IL. DIscussIons sIouId uIwuys be IeId jusL beIore goIng Lo
bed, your reur proLecLed by sIeep. How puInIuI, uILer un InLeIIecLuuI conversuLIon, Lo Iuve Lo go
ubouL wILI your mInd so sLIrred up."
"TIuL Is jusL un escupIsL psycIoIogy," somebody grumbIed - und LIen LIe IIrsL sounds oI Ieuvy
breuLIIng IIIIed our IoIL wILI ILs unnouncemenL oI reIuxuLIon und surrender Lo LIe vegeLuLIve
sLuLe; oI LIuL u Iew Iours suIIIced Lo resLore youLI's eIusLIcILy. ¡or nexL duy uIong wILI pIysIcuI
ucLIvILy und LIe enjoymenL oI nuLuruI beuuLy, LIey wouId conLInue LIe usuuI LIeoIogIcuI und
pIIIosopIIcuI debuLes wILI uImosL InLermInubIe muLuuI InsLrucLIon, opposILIon, cIuIIenge, und
repIy. ¡L wus LIe monLI oI June, und LIe uIr wus IIIIed wILI LIe Ieuvy scenL oI jusmIne und eIder-
bIossom Irom LIe gorges oI LIe wooded IeIgILs LIuL cross LIe TIurIngIun busIn. PrIceIess IL wus
Lo wunder Ior duys LIrougI LIe counLrysIde, Iere uImosL Iree Irom IndusLry, LIe weII-Iuvoured,
IruILIuI Iund, wILI ILs IrIendIy vIIIuges, In cIusLers oI IuLLIced buIIdIngs. TIen comIng ouL oI LIe
IurmIng regIon InLo LIuL oI mosLIy gruzIng Iund, Lo IoIIow LIe sLorIed, beecI- und pIne-covered
rIdge roud, LIe "RennsLeIg," wIIcI, wILI ILs vIew deep down InLo LIe Werru vuIIey, sLreLcIes Irom
LIe ¡runkenwuId Lo EIsenucI on LIe HorseI. ¡L grew ever more beuuLIIuI, sIgnIIIcunL, romunLIc;
und neILIer wIuL AdrIun Iud suId ubouL LIe reserve oI youLI In LIe Iuce oI nuLure, nor wIuL ubouL
LIe desIrubIIILy oI beIng ubIe Lo reLIre Lo sIumber uILer InLeIIecLuuI dIscussIon, seemed Lo Iuve uny
cogency. Even Lo IIm IL scurceIy uppIIed; Ior, excepL wIen IIs IeuducIes mude IIm sIIenL, Ie
conLrIbuLed wILI unImuLIon Lo LIe duIIy LuIks; und II nuLure Iured Irom IIm no very enLIusIusLIc
crIes und Ie Iooked uL IL wILI u cerLuIn musIng uIooIness, ¡ do noL doubL LIuL ILs pIcLures,
rIyLIms, LIe meIodIes oI ILs upper uIrs, peneLruLed deeper InLo IIs souI LIun InLo LIose oI IIs
compunIons. ¡L Ius even Iuppened LIuL some pussuge oI pure, Iree beuuLy sLundIng ouL Irom LIe
Lense InLeIIecLuuIILy oI IIs work Ius IuLer brougIL Lo my mInd LIose duys und LIe experIences we
sIured.
Yes, LIey were sLIrrIng Iours, duys, und weeks. TIe reIresImenL oI LIe ouL-oI-doors IIIe, und
LIe oxygen In LIe uIr, LIe Iundscupe, und LIe IIsLorIcuI ImpressIons, LIrIIIed LIese young IoIk und
ruIsed LIeIr spIrILs Lo u pIune wIere LIougIL moved IuvIsIIy In Iree experImenLuI IIIgIL us IL wIII
uL LIuL LIme oI IIIe. ¡n IuLer, more urId Iours oI un uILer-unIversILy proIessIonuI cureer, even un
InLeIIecLuuI one, LIere wouId be scurceIy uny sucI occusIon. OILen ¡ Iooked uL LIem durIng LIeIr
LIeoIogIcuI und pIIIosopIIcuI debuLes und pIcLured Lo myseII LIuL Lo some umong LIem LIeIr
WInIrIed perIod mIgIL In IuLer yeurs seem LIe IInesL LIme oI LIeIr IIves. ¡ wuLcIed LIem und ¡
wuLcIed AdrIun, wILI LIe cIeur percepLIon LIuL IL wouId noL be so wILI IIm. ¡, us u non-
LIeoIogIun, wus u guesL umong LIem; Ie, LIougI u LIeoIogIun, wus even more oI one. WIy? ¡ IeIL,
noL wILIouL u pung, LIe IoreorduIned guII beLween IIs exIsLence und LIuL oI LIese sLrIvIng und
IIgI-purposed youLIs. ¡L wus LIe dIIIerence oI LIe IIIe-curve beLween good, yes, exceIIenL
uveruge, wIIcI wus desLIned Lo reLurn Irom LIuL rovIng, seekIng sLudenL IIIe Lo ILs bourgeoIs
courses, und LIe oLIer, InvIsIbIy sIngIed ouL, wIo wouId never Iorsuke LIe Iurd rouLe oI LIe
mInd, wouId Lreud IL, wIo knew wIILIer, und wIose guze, wIose uLLILude, never quILe resoIved In
LIe IruLernuI, wIose InIIbILIons In IIs personuI reIuLIons mude me und probubIy oLIers uwure
LIuL Ie IImseII dIvIned LIIs dIIIerence.
By LIe begInnIng oI IIs IourLI semesLer ¡ Iud IndIcuLIons LIuL my IrIend wus LIInkIng oI
droppIng IIs LIeoIogIcuI course, even beIore LIe IIrsL exums.

CHAPTIR XV
AdrIun's reIuLIons wILI WendeII KreLscImur Iud never been broken oII or weukened. TIe
young "sLudIosus" oI LIe dIvIne scIence suw LIe musIcuI menLor oI IIs scIooI-duys In every
vucuLIon, wIen Ie cume Lo KuIsersuscIern; vIsILed IIm und consuILed IIm In LIe orgunIsL's
quurLers In LIe CuLIedruI; meL IIm uL UncIe ¡everküIn's Iouse, und persuuded LIe purenLs Lo
InvILe IIm once or LwIce Lo BucIeI Ior LIe week-end, wIere LIey Look exLended wuIks und uIso goL
JonuLIun ¡everküIn Lo sIow LIe guesL CIIudnI's sound-puLLerns und LIe devourIng drop.
KreLscImur sLood very weII wILI LIe IosL oI BucIeI, now geLLIng on In yeurs. HIs reIuLIons wILI
¡ruu EIsbeLI were more IormuI II by no meuns ucLuuIIy sLruIned. PerIups sIe wus dIsLressed by
IIs sLuLLer, wIIcI jusL Ior LIuL reuson goL worse In Ier presence und In dIrecL conversuLIon wILI
Ier. ¡L wus odd, uILer uII. ¡n Germuny musIc enjoys LIuL respecL umong LIe peopIe wIIcI In
¡runce Is gIven Lo IILeruLure; umong us nobody Is puL oII or emburrussed, uncomIorLubIy Im-
pressed, or moved Lo dIsrespecL or mockery by LIe IucL LIuL u mun Is u musIcIun; so ¡ um
convInced LIuL EIsbeLI ¡everküIn IeIL enLIre respecL Ior AdrIun's eIder IrIend, wIo, moreover,
prucLIsed IIs ucLIvILy us u suIurIed mun In LIe servIce oI LIe CIurcI. YeL durIng LIe Lwo und u IuII
duys wIIcI ¡ once spenL wILI IIm und AdrIun uL BucIeI, ¡ observed In Ier beurIng Lowurds LIe
orgunIsL u cerLuIn reserve und resLruInL, IeId In cIeck buL noL quILe done uwuy by Ier nuLIve
IrIendIIness. And Ie, us ¡ suId, responded wILI u worsenIng oI IIs ImpedImenL umounLIng u Iew
LImes uImosL Lo u cuIumILy. ¡L Is Iurd Lo suy wIeLIer IL wus LIuL Ie IeIL Ier uneuse und mIsLrusL or
wIuLever IL wus, or becuuse on IIs own sIde, sponLuneousIy, Ie Iud deIInILe InIIbILIons
umounLIng Lo sIyness und emburrussmenL In Ier presence.
As Ior me, ¡ IeIL sure LIuL LIe pecuIIur LensIon beLween KreLscImur und AdrIun's moLIer Iud
reIerence Lo AdrIun; ¡ dIvIned LIIs becuuse In LIe sIIenL sLruggIe LIuL wenL on ¡ sLood In my own
IeeIIng beLween LIe Lwo purLIes, IncIInIng now Lo LIe one und now Lo LIe oLIer. WIuL KreLscImur
wunLed, wIuL Ie LuIked ubouL on LIose wuIks wILI AdrIun, wus cIeur Lo me, und prIvuLeIy my own
wIsIes supporLed IIm. ¡ LIougIL Ie wus rIgIL wIen, uIso In LuIk wILI me, Ie pIeuded Ior LIe
musIcuI cuIIIng oI IIs pupII, LIuL Ie sIouId become u composer, wILI deLermInuLIon, even wILI
urgency. "He Ius," Ie suId, "LIe composer's eye; Ie bends on musIc LIe Iook oI LIe InILIuLe, noL oI
LIe vugueIy enjoyIng ouLsIder. HIs wuy oI dIscoverIng LIemuLIc connecLIons LIuL LIe oLIer kInd oI
mun does noL see; oI perceIvIng LIe urLIcuIuLIon oI u sIorL exLrucL In LIe Iorm oI quesLIon und
unswer; uILogeLIer oI seeIng Irom LIe InsIde Iow IL Is mude, conIIrms me In my judgmenL. TIuL
Ie sIows no producLIve ImpuIse, does noL yeL wrILe or nuIveIy emburk upon youLIIuI
producLIons, Is onIy Lo IIs credIL; IL Is u quesLIon oI IIs prIde, wIIcI prevenLs IIm Irom producIng
epIgonuI musIc."
¡ couId onIy ugree wILI uII LIuL. BuL ¡ couId LIorougIIy undersLund us weII LIe proLecLIve
concern oI LIe moLIer und oILen IeIL my soIIdurILy wILI Ier, Lo LIe poInL oI IosLIIILy Lo LIe oLIer
sIde. Never sIuII ¡ IorgeL u scene In LIe IIvIng-room uL BucIeI wIen we cIunced Lo sIL LIere
LogeLIer, LIe Iour oI us: moLIer und son, KreLscImur und ¡. EIsbeLI wus In LuIk wILI LIe
musIcIun, wIo wus puIIIng und bIowIng wILI IIs ImpedImenL; IL wus u mere cIuL, oI wIIcI
AdrIun wus cerLuInIy noL LIe subjecL. SIe drew Ier son's Ieud Lo Ier us Ie suL besIde Ier, In LIe
sLrungesL wuy, puLLIng Ier urm ubouL IIm, noL round IIs sIouIders buL round IIs Ieud, Ier Iund
on IIs brow, und LIus, wILI LIe guze oI Ier bIuck eyes dIrecLed upon KreLscImur und Ier sweeL
voIce speukIng Lo IIm, sIe Ieuned AdrIun's Ieud upon Ier breusL.
BuL Lo reLurn: IL wus noL uIone LIese meeLIngs LIuL susLuIned LIe reIuLIon beLween musLer und
pupII. TIere wus uIso IrequenL correspondence, un excIunge, ¡ beIIeve every Lwo weeks, beLween
HuIIe und KuIsersuscIern, ubouL wIIcI AdrIun Irom LIme Lo LIme InIormed me und oI wIIcI ¡
even goL Lo see some purL. ¡L seemed LIuL KreLscImur wus consIderIng LukIng u pIuno und orgun
cIuss In LIe Huse prIvuLe conservuLoIre In ¡eIpzIg, wIIcI nexL Lo LIe Iumous SLuLe MusIc ScIooI
In LIuL cILy wus rejoIcIng In u growIng repuLuLIon, consLunLIy Increused durIng LIe nexL Len yeurs,
up Lo LIe deuLI oI LIe cupILuI musIcIun CIemens Huse (IL no Ionger pIuys uny roIe, even II IL sLIII
exIsLs). ¡ Ieurned LIIs IucL In MIcIueImus 1qoq. AL LIe begInnIng oI LIe nexL yeur WendeII uccord-
IngIy IeIL KuIsersuscIern Lo Luke over IIs new posILIon, und Irom LIen on LIe correspondence
wenL Iorwurd beLween HuIIe und ¡eIpzIg, Lo und Iro: KreLscImur's sIeeLs covered on one sIde
wILI Iurge, scruLcIIng, spIuLLerIng IeLLers; AdrIun's repIIes on rougI yeIIow puper, In IIs reguIur,
sIIgILIy oId-IusIIoned, ruLIer IIorId scrIpL, wrILLen, us one couId see, wILI u round-Iund pen. ¡
suw u druIL oI one oI LIem, very compucLIy wrILLen, IIke IIgures, IuII oI IIne uddILIons und
correcLIons - ¡ Iud eurIy become IumIIIur wILI IIs wuy oI wrILIng und reud IL quILe eusIIy - und
Ie uIso sIowed me KreLscImur's repIy Lo IL. He dId LIIs, obvIousIy, In order LIuL ¡ need noL be Loo
mucI surprIsed by LIe sLep Ie purposed Lo Luke wIen Ie sIouId Iuve ucLuuIIy seLLIed on IL. ¡or
LIuL Ie Iud noL us yeL, wus IesILuLIng very mucI, doubLIng und exumInIng IImseII, us LIe IeLLer
mukes cIeur; Ie obvIousIy wunLed Lo be udvIsed by me - God knows wIeLIer In u sense Lo
encouruge or Lo wurn.
TIere couId noL be und wouId noL Iuve been on my sIde uny possIbIIILy oI surprIse, even II ¡
Iud been Iuced wILI LIe IucL wILIouL prepuruLIon. ¡ knew wIuL wus on LIe wuy: wIeLIer IL wouId
ucLuuIIy come Lo puss wus unoLIer quesLIon; buL so mucI wus cIeur Lo me Loo, LIuL sInce
KreLscImur's move Lo ¡eIpzIg, IIs cIunces oI geLLIng IIs wuy were consIderubIy Improved.
AdrIun's IeLLer sIowed u more LIun uveruge cupucILy Lo Iook uL IImseII crILIcuIIy, und us u
conIessIon ILs IronIc IumIIILy LoucIed me very mucI. To IIs one-LIme menLor, now uspIrIng Lo be
LIuL uguIn und mucI more, Ie seL IorLI LIe scrupIes LIuL IeId IIm buck Irom u decIsIon Lo cIunge
IIs proIessIon und IIIng IImseII InLo LIe urms oI musIc. He IuII-wuy udmILLed LIuL LIeoIogy, us
un empIrIc sLudy, Iud dIsuppoInLed IIm; LIe reusons oI course beIng Lo seek noL In LIuL revered
scIence, nor wILI IIs ucudemIc LeucIers, buL In IImseII. TIuL wus uIreudy pIuIn Irom LIe IucL LIuL
Ie cerLuInIy couId noL suy wIuL oLIer, beLLer cIoIce Ie couId LIen Iuve mude. SomeLImes, wIen
Ie Look counseI wILI IImseII on LIe possIbIIILIes oI u sIIIL, Ie Iud, durIng LIese yeurs, consIdered
cIoosIng muLIemuLIcs, In wIIcI, wIen Ie wus uL scIooI, Ie Iud uIwuys Iound '"good
enLerLuInmenL" (IIs very words). BuL wILI u sorL oI Iorror uL IImseII Ie suw IL comIng, LIuL II Ie
mude LIIs dIscIpIIne IIs own, bound IImseII over, IdenLIIIed IImseII wILI IL, Ie wouId very soon
be dIsIIIusIoned, bored; geL us sIck und LIred oI IL us LIougI Ie "Iud IudIed IL In wILI u cookIng-
spoon" (LIIs groLesque sImIIe uIso ¡ recuII IILeruIIy). "¡ cunnoL conceuI Irom your respecLed seII,"
Ie wroLe (Ior Ie someLImes IeII InLo oId-IusIIoned pIruses und speIIIngs), "neILIer you nor
myseII, LIuL wILI your cpprendistc IL Is u god-Iorsuken cuse. ¡L Is noL jusL un everyduy LIIng wILI
me, ¡ wouId noL IuIn IL LIus; IL uddresses ILseII Lo your verye boweIIs oI compussIon more LIun
mukes your IeurL Ieup up Ior joy." He Iud, Ie suId, receIved Irom God LIe gIIL oI u "Lowurd wIL";
Irom cIIIdIood up und wILI Iess LIun common puIn Iud grusped everyLIIng oIIered In IIs
educuLIon - Loo eusIIy, "beIIke," Ior uny oI IL Lo wIn IIs proper respecL. Too eusIIy Ior bIood und
bruIns ever Lo Iuve goL properIy wurmed up Ior LIe suke oI u subjecL und by eIIorL over IL. "¡ Ieur,"
Ie wroLe, "deur und beIoved IrIend und musLer, ¡ um u IosL souI, u bIuck sIeep, ¡ Iuve no wurmLI.
As LIe Gode Boke IuLI IL, LIey sIuII be cursed und spewed ouL oI LIe mouLI wIo ure neILIer coId
nor wurm buL Iukewurm. ¡ukewurm ¡ sIouId noL cuII myseII. ¡ um coId ouL oI uII quesLIon; buL In
my judgmenL oI myseII ¡ wouId pruy Lo dIssenL Irom LIe LusLe oI LIuL Power wIose IL Is Lo
upporLIon bIessIng und cursIng."
He wenL on:
"OddIy enougI, IL wus besL uL LIe grummur scIooI, LIere ¡ wus sLIII preLLy mucI In LIe rIgIL
pIuce, becuuse In LIe upper Iorms LIey deuI ouL LIe greLesL vurIeLy oI LIInges, one uILer LIe oLIer,
cIungIng LIe subjecL Irom one IIve-und-IorLy mInuLes Lo LIe nexL - In oLIer words LIere wus sLIII
no proIessIon. BuL even LIose IIve-und-IorLy mInuLes were Loo Iong, LIey bored me - und
boredom Is LIe coIdesL LIIng In LIe worId. AILer IIILeen mInuLes uL mosL ¡ Iud uII LIuL LIe good
mun cIummed over wILI LIe oLIer boys Ior LIIrLy more. ReudIng LIe uuLIors, ¡ reud on IurLIer; ¡
Iud done so uL Iome, und II ¡ LIougIL noL uIwuys gIve unswer, 'Lwus buL becuuse ¡ wus uIreudy In
LIe nexL Iesson. TIree quurLers oI un Iour oI AnubusIs wus Loo mucI oI one LIIng Ior my
puLIence, In sIgn LIereoI my mygryms cume on" (Ie meunL IIs IeuducIes) "und never dId LIey
procede Irom IuLIgue due Lo eIIorL, buL Irom suLIeLy, Irom coId boredom, und, deur musLer und
IrIend, sILI ¡ no Ionger um u young bucIeIor sprIngIng Irom bruncI Lo bruncI buL Iuve murrIed
me wILI one pIoL und one proIessIon, IL Ius LruIy gone IevyII Indeed wILI me.
"¡n IeILI, ye wIII noL beIIeve LIuL ¡ IoId myseII Loo good Ior uny proIessIon. On LIe conLrury, ¡
um pILIIuI oI LIuL ¡ muke mIne own, und ye muy see In LIuL un Iomuge, u decIuruLIon oI Iove Ior
musIc, u specIuI posILIon Lowurds Ier, LIuL In Ier cuse ¡ sIouId IeeI quILe Loo deepIy pILIIuI.
"You wIII usk II IL wus noL so wILI LIeoIogy? BuL ¡ submILLed LIereunLo; noL so mucI, LIougI
LIere wus somewIuL oI LIuL Loo LIereIn, LIuL ¡ suw In IL LIe IIgIesL oI LIe scIences; buL Ior LIuL ¡
wouId IuIn IumbIe myseII, bow LIe knee, und be cIusLened, Lo cusLIguLe my coId conLumucy, In
sIorL ouL oI contritio. ¡ wunLed LIe suck oI Ieyre, LIe spIked gIrdIe beneuLI. ¡ dId wIuL LIose dId
In eurIIer LImes wIo knocked uL LIe guLe oI LIe cIoIsLer oI sLrIcL observunce. ¡L Ius ILs ubsurd und
comIc sIdes, LIIs proIessIonuIIy cIoIsLered IIIe, buL ussuye Lo undersLund LIuL u secreL Lerror
wurned me noL Lo Iorsuke IL, Lo puL LIe ScrIpLures under LIe bencI und scupe InLo LIe urL Lo
wIIcI you InLroduced me, und ubouL wIIcI ¡ IeeI LIuL Ior me Lo prucLIse IL were sIrewIdness und
sIume.
Ye LIInk me cuIIed Lo LIIs urL, und gIve me Lo undersLund LIuL LIe 'sLep usIde' Lo Ier were no
Iong one. My ¡uLIerunIsm ugrees, Ior IL sees In LIeoIogy und musIc neIgIbourIng spIeres und
cIose oI kIn; und besIdes, musIc Ius uIwuys seemed Lo me personuIIy u mugIc murrIuge beLween
LIeoIogy und LIe so dIverLIng muLIemuLIc. ¡Lem, sIe Ius mucI oI LIe IuboruLory und LIe InsIsLenL
ucLIvILy oI LIe uIcIemIsLs und nIgromuncers oI yore, wIIcI uIso sLood In LIe sIgn oI LIeoIogy, buL
uL LIe sume LIme In LIuL oI emuncIpuLIon und uposLusy; IL wus uposLusy, noL Irom LIe IeILI, LIuL
wus never possIbIe, buL in LIe IeILI; Ior uposLusy Is un ucL oI IeILI und everyLIIng Is und Iuppens
In God, mosL oI uII LIe IuIIIng Irom HIm."
My quoLuLIons ure very neurIy IILeruI, even wIere LIey ure noL quILe so. ¡ cun reIy very weII on
my memory, und besIdes ¡ commILLed mucI oI IL Lo puper uL once uILer reudIng LIe druIL, und In
purLIcuIur LIIs ubouL uposLusy.
He LIen excused IImseII Ior LIe dIgressIon, wIIcI scurceIy wus one, und wenL on Lo LIe
prucLIcuI quesLIon oI wIuL bruncI oI musIcuI ucLIvILy Ie sIouId envIsuge In cuse Ie yIeIded Lo
KreLscImur's pressure. He poInLed ouL LIuL Ie wus useIess, Irom LIe sLurL und udmILLedIy, Ior
soIo vIrLuosILy. "¡L prIckeLI beLImes LIuL wIII be u sIurp LIorn," Ie wroLe, quoLIng KumpI, und
LIuL Ie Iud come Loo IuLe InLo conLucL wILI LIe InsLrumenL, or even wILI LIe Ideu, Irom wIIcI
IoIIowed, oI course, LIe cIeur concIusIon LIuL Ie Iucked uny InsLIncLIve urge In LIuL dIrecLIon. He
Iud gone Lo LIe keybourd noL ouL oI desIre Lo musLer IL, buL ouL oI prIvuLe curIosILy ubouL musIc
ILseII; Ie wus enLIreIy IuckIng In LIe gypsy bIood oI LIe concerL urLIsL, wIo produced IImseII
beIore LIe pubIIc LIrougI musIc, musIc beIng LIe occusIon Ie Look. To LIuL wenL menLuI
premIses wIIcI Ie dId noL suLIsIy: desIre Ior Iove-uIIuIrs wILI LIe crowd, Ior IuureI wreuLIs und
bowIng und kowLowIng Lo uppIuuse. He uvoIded LIe udjecLIves wIIcI wouId ucLuuIIy Iuve mude
cIeur wIuL Ie meunL: Ie dId noL suy LIuL even II Ie Iud noL come Lo IL Loo IuLe, Ie wus Loo seII-
conscIous, Loo proud, Loo dIIIIcuIL, Loo soIILury, Lo be u vIrLuoso.
TIese sume objecLIons, Ie wenL on, sLood In LIe wuy oI u cureer us u conducLor. As IILLIe us u
keybourd juggIer couId Ie see IImseII us u buLon-wuvIng, Irock-couLed prImu donnu oI LIe
orcIesLru, un InLerpreLIng umbussudor und guIu-represenLuLIve oI musIc on eurLI. BuL now LIere
dId escupe IIm u word LIuL beIonged In LIe sume cIuss wILI LIose wIIcI ¡ jusL suId wouId Iuve
IILLed LIe cuse: Ie spoke oI beIng unsocIuI; Ie cuIIed IImseII LIuL, und meunL no compIImenL.
TIIs quuIILy, Ie judged, wus LIe expressIon oI u wunL oI wurmLI, sympuLIy, Iove, und IL wus very
mucI In quesLIon wIeLIer one couId, IuckIng LIem, be u good urLIsL, wIIcI uILer uII und uIwuys
meuns beIng u Iover und beIoved oI LIe worId. Now puLLIng LIese Lwo usIde, LIe soIo urLIsL und
LIe conducLor, wIuL wus IeIL? ¡orsooLI, musIc IerseII, LIe promIse und vow Lo Ier, LIe IermeLIc
IuboruLory, LIe goId-kILcIen: composILIon. "WonderIuI! Ye wIII InILIuLe me, IrIend AIberLus Mug-
nus, InLo LIe mysLerIes oI LIeory und cerLes ¡ IeeI, ¡ know uIoreIund, us uIreudy ¡ know u IILLIe
Irom experIence, ¡ sIuIbe no buckwurd udepLus. ¡ sIuII grusp uII LIe sIIILs und conLroIs, und LIuL
eusIIy, In LruLI becuuse my mInd goeLI Lo meeL LIem, LIe ground Is prepured, IL uIreudy
nourIsIes some seed LIereIn. ¡ wIII reIIne on LIe primc mcteric, In LIuL ¡ udd Lo IL LIe
mcçisterium und wILI spIrIL und IIre drIve LIe muLLer LIrougI muny IImbecs und reLorLs Ior LIe
reIInIng LIereoI. WIuL u gIorIous mysLery! ¡ know none IIgIer, deeper, beLLer; none more
LIrIIIIng, or occuIL; none wIereLo Iess persuusIon were necessury Lo persuude.
"And yeL, wIy does un Inwurd voIce wurn me: 'D homo juçe'? ¡ cunnoL gIve unswer unLo LIe
quesLIon very urLIcuIuLeIy. OnIy LIIs mucI ¡ cun suy: ¡ Ieur Lo muke promIses Lo urL, becuuse ¡
doubL wIeLIer my nuLure - quILe usIde Irom LIe quesLIon oI u gIIL - Is cuIcuIuLed Lo suLIsIy Ier;
becuuse ¡ musL dIscIuIm LIe robusL nuIveLe wIIcI, so Iur us ¡ cun see - umong oLIer LIIngs, und
noL IeusL umong LIem - perLuIneLI Lo LIe nuLure oI LIe urLIsL. ¡n ILs pIuce my IoL Is u quIckIy
suLIsIIed InLeIIIgence, wIereoI, ¡ suppose, ¡ muy speuk, becuuse ¡ cuII Ieuven und IeII Lo wILness
LIuL ¡ um noL vuIn oI IL; IL Is LIuL, LogeLIer wILI LIe uccompunyIng proneness Lo IuLIgue und
dIsgusL (wILI Ieuduke), wIIcI Is LIe ground oI my Ieur und concern. ¡L wIII, IL ougIL Lo, decIde me
Lo reIruIn. Murk me, good musLer, young us ¡ um ¡ um weI enow seen LIereIn Lo know, und sIouId
noL be your pupII dId ¡ noL, LIuL IL pusseLI Iur beyond LIe puLLern, LIe cunon, LIe LrudILIon,
beyond wIuL one Ieurns Irom oLIers, LIe LrIck, LIe LecInIque. YeL IL Is undenIubIe LIuL LIere Is u
IoL oI uII LIuL In IL, und ¡ see IL comIng (Ior IL IIeLI uIso In my nuLure, Ior good or III, Lo Iook
beyond) LIuL ¡ um emburrussed uL LIe InsIpIdness wIIcI Is LIe supporLIng sLrucLure, LIe
condILIonIng soIId subsLunce oI even LIe work oI genIus, uL LIe eIemenLs LIereoI wIIcI ure
LruInIng und common properLy, uL use und wonL In ucIIevIng LIe beuuLIIuI; ¡ bIusI uL uII LIuL,
weury LIereoI, çet Ieuduke LIereIrom, und LIuL rIgIL eurIy.
"How sLupId, Iow preLenLIous IL wouId be Lo usk: 'Do you undersLund LIuL?' ¡or Iow sIouId
you noL? ¡L goes IIke LIIs, wIen IL Is beuuLIIuI: LIe ceIIos InLone by LIemseIves, u pensIve, meIun-
cIoIy LIeme, wIIcI quesLIons LIe IoIIy oI LIe worId, LIe wIereIore oI uII LIe sLruggIe und sLrIvIng,
pursuIng und pIuguIng - uII IIgIIy expressIve und decorousIy pIIIosopIIcuI. TIe ceIIos enIurge
upon LIIs rIddIe uwIIIe, Ieud-sIukIng, depIorIng, und uL u cerLuIn poInL In LIeIr remurks, u weII-
cIosen poInL, LIe cIorus oI wInd InsLrumenLs enLers wILI u deep IuII breuLI LIuL mukes your
sIouIders rIse und IuII, In u cIoruI Iymn, movIngIy soIemn, rIcIIy IurmonIzed, und produced
wILI uII LIe muLed dIgnILy und mIIdIy resLruIned power oI LIe bruss. TIus LIe sonorous meIody
presses on up Lo neurIy LIe IeIgIL oI u cIImux, wIIcI, In uccordunce wILI LIe Iuw oI economy IL
uvoIds uL IIrsL, gIves wuy, Ieuves open, sInks uwuy, posLpones, mosL beuuLIIuIIy IIngers; LIen
wILIdruws und gIves pIuce Lo unoLIer LIeme, u songIIke, sImpIe one, now jesLIng, now gruve, now
popuIur, uppurenLIy brIsk und robusL by nuLure buL sIy us you muke LIem, und Ior someone wILI
some subLIIe cIeverness In LIe urL oI LIemuLIc unuIysIs und LrunsIormuLIon IL proves ILseII
umuzIngIy pregnunL und cupubIe oI uLLer reIInemenL. ¡or u wIIIe LIIs IILLIe song Is munuged und
depIoyed, cIeverIy und cIurmIngIy, IL Is Luken upurL, Iooked uL In deLuII, vurIed, ouL oI IL u
deIIgILIuI IIgure In LIe mIddIe regIsLer Is Ied up InLo LIe mosL encIunLIng IeIgILs oI IIddIes und
IIuLes, IuIIs ILseII LIere u IILLIe, und wIen IL Is uL ILs mosL urLIuI, LIen LIe mIId bruss Ius uguIn LIe
word wILI LIe prevIous cIoruI Iymn und comes InLo LIe Ioreground. TIe bruss does noL sLurL
Irom LIe begInnIng us IL dId LIe IIrsL LIme, buL us LIougI ILs meIody Iud uIreudy been LIere Ior u
wIIIe; und IL conLInues, soIemnIy, Lo LIuL cIImux Irom wIIcI IL wIseIy reIruIned LIe IIrsL LIme, In
order LIuL LIe surgIng IeeIIng, LIe AI-I-eIIecL, mIgIL be LIe greuLer: now IL gIorIousIy besLrIdes
ILs LIeme, mounLIng uncIecked, wILI weIgILy supporL Irom LIe pussIng noLes on LIe Lubu, und
LIen, IookIng buck, us IL were, wILI dIgnIIIed suLIsIucLIon on LIe IInIsIed ucIIevemenL, sIngs ILseII
decorousIy Lo LIe end.
"Deur IrIend, wIy do ¡ Iuve Lo IuugI? Cun u mun empIoy LIe LrudILIonuI or suncLIIy LIe LrIck
wILI greuLer genIus? Cun one wILI sIrewder sense ucIIeve LIe beuuLIIuI? And ¡, ubundoned
wreLcI, ¡ Iuve Lo IuugI, purLIcuIurIy uL LIe grunLIng supporLIng noLes oI LIe bomburdone, Bum,
bum, bum, bung! ¡ muy Iuve Leurs In my eyes uL LIe sume LIme, buL LIe desIre Lo IuugI Is
IrresIsLIbIe - ¡ Iuve uIwuys Iud Lo IuugI, mosL dumnubIy, uL LIe mosL mysLerIous und ImpressIve
pIenomenu. ¡ IIed Irom LIIs exuggeruLed sense oI LIe comIc InLo LIeoIogy, In LIe Iope LIuL IL
wouId gIve reIIeI Lo LIe LIckIIng - onIy Lo IInd LIere Loo u perIecL IegIon oI IudIcrous ubsurdILIes.
WIy does uImosL everyLIIng seem Lo me IIke ILs own purody? WIy musL ¡ LIInk LIuL uImosL uII,
no, uII LIe meLIods und convenLIons oI urL Loduy cre çood jor pcrodç onlç? - TIese ure oI
course rIeLorIcuI quesLIons, IL wus noL LIuL ¡ sLIII expecLed un unswer Lo LIem. BuL sucI u
despuIrIng IeurL, sucI u dump squIb us ¡ um, you consIder us 'gIILed' Ior musIc und summon me
Lo you und Lo ILs servIce, InsLeud oI ruLIer IeuvIng me IumbIy Lo Lurry wILI God und LIeoIogy?"
TIus AdrIun's conIessIon In uvoIdunce. And KreLscImur's repIy: LIuL documenL ¡ Iuve noL by
me. ¡L wus noL Iound umong LIe pupers ¡everküIn IeIL. He musL Iuve preserved IL Ior u wIIIe
und LIen In some movIng Lo MunIcI, Lo ¡LuIy, Lo PIeIIIerIng, IL musL Iuve goL IosL. BuL ¡ reLuIn IL
In my memory uImosL us precIseIy us AdrIun's own, even LIougI ¡ mude no noLes on IL. TIe
sLuLLerer sLuck by IIs summons, IIs monILIons und uIIuremenLs. NoL u word In AdrIun's IeLLer, Ie
wroLe, couId Iuve mude IIm Ior u momenL IuILer In IIs convIcLIon LIuL IL wus musIc Ior wIIcI
IuLe desLIned LIe wrILer, uILer wIIcI Ie Iunkered us musIc uILer IIm, und uguInsL wIIcI, IuII
cowurdIy, IuII cuprIcIous, Ie Iud IIdden IImseII beIInd LIese IuII-Lrue unuIyses oI IIs cIurucLer
und consLILuLIon, us prevIousIy beIInd LIeoIogy, IIs IIrsL und ubsurd cIoIce. "AIIecLuLIon, AdrI -
und LIe Increuse In your IeuducIes Is LIe punIsImenL Ior IL." HIs sense oI LIe IudIcrous oI wIIcI
Ie bousLed, or compIuIned, wouId suIL wILI urL Iur beLLer LIun wILI IIs presenL unnuLuruI
occupuLIon, Ior urL, on LIe conLrury, couId use IL; couId, In generuI, mucI beLLer use LIe repeIIenL
cIurucLerIsLIcs Ie uLLrIbuLed Lo IImseII LIun Ie beIIeved or mude preLence LIuL Ie beIIeved IL
couId. He, KreLscImur, wouId Ieuve LIe quesLIon open, Iow Iur AdrIun wus uccusIng IImseII In
order Lo excuse IIs correspondIng uccusuLIons uguInsL urL; Ior LIIs puInLIng urL us u murrIuge wILI
LIe mob, us kIss-LIrowIng, guIu-posLurIng, us u beIIows Lo bIow up LIe emoLIons, wus u IucIIe
mIsconsLrucLIon und u wIIIuI one Loo. WIuL Ie wus LryIng Lo do wus Lo excuse IImseII on uccounL
oI cerLuIn cIurucLerIsLIcs, wIIIe LIese, on LIe oLIer Iund, were LIe very ones urL demunded. ArL
needed jusL IIs sorL Loduy - und LIe joke, LIe IypocrILIcuI, IIde-und-seek joke, wus LIuL AdrIun
knew IL perIecLIy weII. TIe cooIness, LIe "quIckIy suLIsIIed InLeIIIgence," LIe eye Ior LIe sLuIe und
ubsurd, LIe eurIy IuLIgue, LIe cupucILy Ior dIsgusL - uII LIuL wus perIecLIy cuIcuIuLed Lo muke u
proIessIon oI LIe LuIenL bound up wILI IL. WIy? Becuuse IL beIonged onIy In purL Lo LIe prIvuLe
personuIILy; Ior LIe resL IL wus oI un exLru-IndIvIduuI nuLure, LIe expressIon oI u coIIecLIve IeeIIng
Ior LIe IIsLorIcuI exIuusLIon und vILIuLIon oI LIe meuns und uppIIunces oI urL, LIe boredom wILI
LIem und LIe seurcI Ior new wuys. "ArL sLrIdes on," KreLscImur wroLe, "und does so LIrougI LIe
medIum oI LIe personuIILy, wIIcI Is LIe producL und LIe LooI oI LIe LIme, und In wIIcI objecLIve
und subjecLIve moLIves combIne IndIsLInguIsIubIy, eucI LukIng on LIe sIupe oI LIe oLIers. TIe
vILuI need oI urL Ior revoIuLIonury progress und LIe comIng oI LIe new uddresses ILseII Lo
wIuLever veIIcIe Ius LIe sLrongesL subjecLIve sense oI LIe sLuIeness, IuLuILy, und empLIness oI LIe
meuns sLIII currenL. ¡L uvuIIs ILseII oI LIe uppurenLIy unvILuI, oI LIuL personuI suLIeLy und
InLeIIecLuuI boredom, LIuL dIsgusL uL seeIng 'Iow IL works'; LIuL uccursed ILcI Lo Iook uL LIIngs In
LIe IIgIL oI LIeIr own purody; LIuL sense oI LIe rIdIcuIous - ¡ LeII you LIuL LIe wIII Lo IIIe und Lo
IIvIng, growIng urL puLs on LIe musk oI LIese IuInL-IeurLed personuI quuIILIes, Lo munIIesL ILseII
LIereIn, Lo objecLIvuLe, Lo IuIIIII ILseII. ¡s LIuL Loo mucI meLupIysIcs Ior you? BuL IL Is jusL
precIseIy enougI oI IL, precIseIy LIe LruLI, LIe LruLI wIIcI uL boLLom you know yourseII. Muke
IusLe, AdrIun, und decIde. ¡ um wuILIng. You ure uIreudy LwenLy, und you Iuve sLIII u good muny
LrIcks oI LIe Lrude Lo geL used Lo, quILe Iurd enougI Lo sLImuIuLe you. ¡L Is beLLer Lo geL u
IeuducIe Irom exercIses In cunons, Iugues, und counLerpoInL LIun Irom conIuLIng LIe KunLIun
conIuLuLIon oI LIe evIdence Ior LIe exIsLence oI God. EnougI oI your LIeoIogIcuI spInsLerIood!
'VIrgInILy Is weII, yeL musL Lo moLIerIood;
Uneur'd sIe Is u soII unIrucLIIIed Ior good.'"
WILI LIIs quoLuLIon Irom LIe "CIerubInIc Wundersmunn" LIe IeLLer ended, und wIen ¡ Iooked
up Irom IL ¡ meL AdrIun's subLIe. smIIe.
"NoL budIy purrIed, don'L you LIInk?" Ie usked.
"By no meuns," suId ¡.
"He knows wIuL Ie wunLs," Ie wenL on, "und IL Is ruLIer IumIIIuLIng LIuL ¡ do noL."
"¡ LIInk you do Loo," ¡ suId. ¡or Indeed In IIs own IeLLer ¡ Iud noL seen un ucLuuI reIusuI, nor
Indeed Iud ¡ beIIeved Ie wroLe IL ouL oI uIIecLuLIon. TIuL Is cerLuInIy noL LIe rIgIL word Ior LIe
wIII Lo muke Iurder Ior oneseII u Iurd decIsIon, by deepenIng IL wILI seII-dIsLrusL. ¡ uIreudy suw
wILI emoLIon LIuL LIe decIsIon wouId be mude; und IL Iud become LIe busIs Ior LIe ensuIng con-
versuLIon ubouL our ImmedIuLe IuLures. ¡n uny cuse, our wuys were purLIng. DespILe serIous
sIorL-sIgILedness ¡ wus decIured IIL Ior mIIILury servIce, und InLended Lo puL In my yeur uL once; ¡
wus Lo do IL In Nuumburg wILI LIe regImenL oI LIe ¸rd ¡IeId ArLIIIery. AdrIun, on wIuLever
grounds - nurrow-cIesLedness, or IIs IubILuuI IeuducIes - wus IndeIInILeIy excused; und Ie
pIunned Lo spend some weeks uL BucIeI, In order, us Ie suId, Lo dIscuss wILI IIs purenLs IIs
cIunge oI proIessIon. ¡L cume ouL LIuL Ie wouId puL IL Lo LIem us LIougI IL InvoIved mereIy u
cIunge oI unIversILy. ¡n u wuy, LIuL wus Iow Ie puL IL Lo IImseII Loo. He wouId, so Ie wouId LeII
LIem, brIng IIs musIc more InLo LIe Ioreground, und uccordIngIy Ie wus goIng Lo LIe cILy wIere
LIe musIcuI menLor oI IIs scIooI-duys wus workIng. WIuL dId noL come ouL wus LIuL Ie wus
gIvIng up LIeoIogy. ¡n IucL, IIs ucLuuI InLenLIon wus Lo enroII IImseII uguIn uL LIe unIversILy und
uLLend IecLures In pIIIosopIy In order Lo muke IIs docLoruLe In LIuL scIooI.
AL LIe begInnIng oI LIe wInLer semesLer, In 1qo¸, ¡everküIn wenL Lo ¡eIpzIg.

CHAPTIR XVI
¡L scurceIy needs suyIng LIuL our good-bye wus ouLwurdIy cooI und reserved. TIere wus IurdIy
even u pressure oI LIe Iund, un excIunge oI Iooks. Too oILen In our young duys we Iud purLed
und meL uguIn Ior us Lo Iuve kepL LIe IubIL oI sIukIng Iunds. He IeIL HuIIe u duy eurIIer LIun ¡;
we Iud spenL LIe prevIous evenIng LogeLIer uL LIe LIeuLre, wILIouL uny oI LIe WInIrIed group. He
wus IeuvIng nexL mornIng, und we suId good-bye on LIe sLreeL, us we Iud Iundreds oI LImes
beIore. ¡ couId noL IeIp murkIng my IureweII by cuIIIng IIm by nume - IIs IIrsL nume, us wus
nuLuruI Lo me, buL Ie dId noL IoIIow suIL. "So Iong!" Ie suId, LIuL wus uII; Ie Iud LIe pIruse Irom
KreLscImur, und used IL IuII-mockIngIy, us u quoLuLIon, IuvIng In generuI u deIInILe IIkIng Lo
quoLe, Lo muke word-pIuys on someLIIng or someone. He udded some jesL ubouL LIe soIdIer's IIIe
¡ wus now Lo pursue, und we wenL our dIIIerenL wuys.
He wus rIgIL noL Lo Luke LIe sepuruLIon serIousIy. AILer uL mosL u yeur, wIen my mIIILury
servIce sIouId be IInIsIed, we wouId come LogeLIer, one pIuce or unoLIer. SLIII, IL wus In u wuy u
breuk, LIe end oI one cIupLer, LIe begInnIng oI unoLIer; und II Ie seemed noL Lo be conscIous oI
LIe IucL, ¡ wus, wILI u cerLuIn pung, weII uwure oI IL. By goIng Lo IIm In HuIIe ¡ Iud, so Lo speuk,
proIonged our scIooI-duys; we Iud IIved LIere mucI us In KuIsersuscIern. Even LIe LIme wIen ¡
wus u sLudenL und Ie sLIII uL scIooI ¡ cunnoL compure wILI LIe cIunge now ImpendIng. TIen ¡
Iud IeIL IIm beIInd In LIe IumIIIur Irume oI LIe gymnusIum und LIe puLernuI cILy und Iud
conLInued Lo reLurn LIILIer. OnIy now, IL seemed Lo me, dId our IIves become deLucIed, onIy now
were boLI oI us begInnIng on our own Lwo IeeL. Now LIere wouId be un end Lo wIuL seemed Lo
me so necessury, LIougI so IuLIIe wILIuI; ¡ cun buL descrIbe IL In LIe words ¡ used ubove: ¡ sIouId
no Ionger know wIuL Ie dId or experIenced, no more be ubIe Lo be neur IIm, Lo keep wuLcI over
IIm. ¡ musL Ieuve IIs sIde jusL uL LIe very momenL wIen observuLIon oI IIs IIIe, uILIougI IL couId
cerLuInIy cIunge noLIIng In IL, seemed mosL IIgIIy desIrubIe, ¡ meun wIen Ie ubundoned LIe
scIoIurIy cureer, "puL LIe BIbIe under LIe bencI," Lo use IIs own words, und IIung IImseII InLo
LIe urms oI musIc.
¡L wus u sIgnIIIcunL decIsIon, one pregnunL wILI IuLe. ¡n u wuy IL cunceIIed LIe more ImmedIuLe
pusL und IInked up wILI momenLs oI our common IIIe IyIng Iur, Iur buck, LIe memory oI wIIcI ¡
bore In my IeurL: LIe Iour wIen ¡ Iud Iound LIe Iud experImenLIng wILI IIs uncIe's IurmonIum,
und sLIII IurLIer buck, our cunon-sIngIng wILI Hunne LIe sLubIe-gIrI, under LIe IInden Lree. ¡L
mude my IeurL IIIL up Ior joy, LIIs decIsIon oI IIs - und uL LIe sume LIme conLrucL wILI Ieur. ¡ cun
onIy compure LIe IeeIIng wILI LIe cuLcI In LIe breuLI LIuL u cIIId IeeIs In u swIng us IL IIIes uIoIL,
LIe mIngIed exuILuLIon und Lerror. TIe TIgILness oI LIe cIunge, ILs InevILubIIILy, LIe correcLIon oI
LIe IuIse sLep, LIe mIsrepresenLuLIon LIeoIogy Iud been: uII LIuL wus cIeur Lo me, und ¡ wus proud
LIuL my IrIend no Ionger IesILuLed Lo ucknowIedge LIe LruLI. PersuusIon, Indeed, Iud been
necessury Lo brIng IIm Lo IL; und exLruordInury us were LIe resuILs ¡ expecLed Irom LIe cIunge,
und despILe uII my joyIuI ugILuLIon, ¡ Look comIorL Irom beIng ubIe Lo LeII myseII LIuL ¡ Iud Iud no
purL In LIe persuusIons - or uL mosL Iud supporLed LIem by u cerLuIn IuLuIIsLIc uLLILude, und u
Iew words sucI us "¡ LIInk you know, yourseII."
Here ¡ wIII IoIIow on wILI u IeLLer ¡ Iud Irom IIm Lwo monLIs uILer ¡ enLered LIe servIce uL
Nuumburg. ¡ reud IL wILI IeeIIngs sucI us mIgIL move u moLIer uL u communIcuLIon oI LIuL kInd
Irom Ier son - onIy LIuL oI course one wILIIoIds LIuL sorL oI LIIng Irom one's moLIer, ouL oI
proprIeLy. ¡ Iud wrILLen Lo IIm some LIree weeks beIore, IgnorunL oI IIs uddress, In cure oI Herr
WendeII KreLscImur uL LIe Huse conservuLoIre; Iud descrIbed my new, ruw sLuLe und begged
IIm, II ever so brIeIIy, Lo LeII me Iow Ie IIved und Iured In LIe greuL cILy, und ubouL LIe progrum
oI IIs sLudIes. ¡ preIuce IIs repIy onIy by suyIng LIuL ILs unLIquuLed sLyIe wus oI course InLended
us u purody oI groLesque HuIIe experIences und LIe Iunguuge IdIosyncrusIes oI EIrenIrIed KumpI.
AL LIe sume LIme IL boLI IIdes und reveuIs IIs own personuIILy und sLyIIsLIc IeunIngs und IIs
empIoymenL oI LIe purodIc, In u IIgIIy cIurucLerIsLIc und IndIcuLIve wuy.
He wroLe:
Leipziç, Iridcç cjter
Purijicctionis :po¸
In the Peterstrcsse, house the z;th
MosL IonourubIe, mosL IIIusLrIous, Ieurned, und weII-beIoved MugIsLer und
BuIIIsLIcus!
We LIunk you kIndIy Ior LIe courLesy oI your communIcuLIon und LIe IIgIIy
dIverLIng LIdIngs LoucIIng your presenL urrungemenLs, so IuII oI dIscIpIIne, duIIness,
und IurdsIIp us LIey be. Your LuIes oI LIe wIIp-cruckIng und sprIngIng Lo order, LIe
curry-combIng und spIL-und-poIIsI, Iuve mude us IeurLIIy Lo IuugI: ubove uII LIuL one
oI LIe under-oIIIcer wIIcI even us Ie pIunes und poIIsIes und brekeLI Lo Iurness, yeL
IoIdeLI so mucI In esLImuLIon your IIgI educuLIon und greLe IeurnIng LIuL In LIe
cunLeen you musL needs murk oII Ior IIm uII LIe meLres uccordIng Lo IeeL und morce
becuuse LIIs kInd oI IeurnIng seemeLI Lo IIm LIe IIgI prIck oI InLeIIecLuuI urIsLocrucy.
¡n requILuI LIereoI we wIII un we IoId ouL counLer LIee wILI some rIgIL IoIIsI IucecIes
und IorsepIuy wIIcI we IeII InLo Iere LIuL you Loo muysL Iuve Lo wonder und Lo IuugI
LIereuL. AIbeIL IIrsL our IrIendIy IerL und good wIII, LrusLIng und pIuyIng LIuL LIou
muIsL uImosL joyIuIIy beur LIe rod und In LrucL oI LIme be so IoIpen LIereby, LIII uL LIe
IusL In bruId und buLLons LIou goesL IorLI us u reserve sergeunL mujor.
Here LIe word Is: TrusL God, Ionour LIe KIng, do no mun uny nuIsunce. On LIe
PIeIsse, LIe PurLIe, und LIe EIsLer exIsLence und puIse ure munIIesLIy oLIer LIen on LIe
SuuIe; Ior Iere muny peopIe be guLIered Logyder, more LIen seven Iundred LIousund;
wIIcI Irom LIe ouLseL bespeukeLI u cerLuIn sympuLIy und LoIerunce; us LIe ¡ord IuLI
uIreudy Ior NIneveI's sIn u knowIng und Iumorous eye wIen He suys excusIngIy:
"SucI u greuL cILy, LIereIn more LIun u Iundred LIousund men." TIus muIsL LIou
LIInk Iow umong seven Iundred LIousund Iorbeurunce Is counseIIed wIen In LIe
uuLumn IuIr-LImes wIereoI ¡ us novIce Iud even now u LusLe, more sLreum Irom uII
purLs oI Europe, und Irom PersIu, ArmenIu, und oLIer LIe AsIuLIc Iunds.
NoL us LIougI LIIs NIneveI purLIcuIurIy doLI IIke me, 'LIs noL LIe IuIresL cILy oI my
IuLIerIund, KuIsersuscIern Is IuIrer; yeL muy eusIer be boLI IuIr und sLuLeIy, sILIence IL
needs buL be oIde und quIeL und Iuve no puIse. ¡s gorgeousIy buIIded, my ¡eIpzIg, oI
cIeur sLone us ouL oI u cosLIy box oI Loy brIcks. TIe common peopIe's Longue Is u
devIIIsIIy Iewd speecI so LIuL one sIrInks beIore every booLI beIore one burguIns. ¡L Is
even us LIougI our mIIdIy sIumberIng TIurIngIun were woke up Lo u seven-Iundred-
LIousund-mun Impudence und smuLLered ubIomInubIy, juw sLuck ouL - IorrIbIe,
dreudIuI, buL, God keep us, cerLes meunIng no Iurm, und mIxed wILI seII-mockery
wIIcI LIey cun gruunL unLo LIemseIves on LIe ground oI LIeIr worId-puIse. Centrum
musicce, centrum oI LIe prInLIng Lrude und LIe book rug-IuIr, IIIusLrIous unIversILIe,
uIbeIL scuLLered In respecL Lo buIIdIngs, Ior LIe cIIeI buIIdIng Is In AugusLuspIuLz, LIe
IIbrury Iurd by LIe CIoLI HuII, und Lo LIe dIvers IucuILIes Iong severuI! coIIege
buIIdIngs, us LIe Red House on LIe Promenude Lo LIe pIIIosopIIc, Lo LIe jurIsLIc LIe
Colleçium ßectce Virçinis, In my PeLersLrusse, wIere ¡ Iound IorLIwILI IresI Irom LIe
sLuLIon, on LIe nexL wuy InLo LIe Lown, IILLIng IodgIng und uccommoduLIon. Cume eurIy
In LIe uILernoon, IeIL my IurdeIs uL LIe sLuLIon, goL IILIer us dIrecLed, reud LIe noLIce
on LIe ruIn-pIpe, rung, und wus sLruIgILuwuy ugreed wILI LIe IuL IundIudy wILI LIe
IIendIsI brogue on LIe Lwo rooms on LIe ground IIoor. SLIII so eurIy LIuL ¡ Iud on LIuL
sume duy Iooked over uImosL LIe wIoIe Lown In LIe IIrsL IIusI oI urrIvuI - LIIs LIme
reuIIy wILI u guIde, Lo wIL LIe porLer wIo IeLcIed my porLmunLeo Irom LIe sLuLIon;
Ience uL LIe IusL LIe Iurce und IooIery oI wIIcI ¡ spuke und muy sLIII reIerse.
TIe IuL Iruu mude no bones ubouL LIe cIuvIcymbuI, LIey ure used Lo LIuL Iere. SIu'n'L
be ussuuILIng Ier eurs Loo mucI Ior ¡ um cIIeIIy workIng on LIeory, wILI books und
pen und puper, LIe IurmonIum und LIe punctum contrc punctum, quILe oII my own
buL, ¡ meun under LIe supervIsIon und generuI dIrecLIon oI cmicus KreLscImur, Lo
wIom every Iew duys ¡ Luke LIuL ¡ Iuve prucLIsed und wrougIL, Ior IIs crILIcIsm, good
or bud. Good souI wus uncommon gIud LIuL ¡ cume, und embruced me Ior LIuL ¡ wus
noL mInded Lo beLruy IIs Iope. And Ie wIII Ieur noL oI my goIng Lo LIe conservuLoIre,
eILIer LIe bIg one or LIe Huse, wIere Ie LeucIes; IL were, Ie suys, no uLmospIere Ior
me, ¡ musL ruLIer do us ¡uLIer Huydn dId, wIo Iud no precepLor uL uII, buL goL IImseII
LIe Grcdus cd Vcrncssum oI ¡ux und some musIc oI LIe LIme, In especIuI LIe
Humburg BucI, und LIerewILI sLurdIIy prucLIsed IIs Lrude. JusL beLween ourseIves, LIe
sLudy oI Iurmony mukes me Ior Lo yuwn, buL wILI counLerpoInL ¡ wux quIck und IusLy,
cunnoL concocL enougI merry IroIIcs In LIIs encIunLed IIeId, wILI joyous pussIon soyIe
LIe never-endIng probIems und Iuve uIreudy puL LogeLIer on puper u wIoIe sLook oI
droII sLudIes In cunon und Iugue, even goLLen some pruIse Irom LIe MusLer LIereIore.
TIuL Is creuLIve work, requIrILI pIunLusy und InvenLIon; pIuyIng domInoes wILI
cIords, wILIouL u LIeme Is meseemeLI neILIer IIesI nor IowI. SIouId noL one Ieurn uII
LIuL ubouL suspensIons, pussIng-noLes, moduIuLIon, prepuruLIons und resoIuLIon,
mucI beLLer in prcxi Irom IeurIng, experIencIng, und InvenLIng oneseII, LIen ouL oI u
boke? BuL uILogeLIer, now, und per ctersionem IL Is IooIIsIness, LIIs unLIInkIng
dIvIsIon oI counLerpoInL und Iurmony, sILI LIey InLerucL so InLImuLeIy LIuL one cunnoL
LeucI LIem sunderIye buL onIy In LIe wIoIe, us musIc - In so Iur us IL cun be LuugIL.
WIereIore ¡ um IndusLrIous, zelo tirtutis, yeu uImosL overburdened und
overwIeImed wILI muLLers, Ior ¡ go Lo IecLures uL LIe ucudemIe In IIsL. pIII. by
¡uuLensuck und EncycIopedIu oI LIe pIIIosopIIcuI scIences us weII us IogIc Irom LIe
Iumous BermeLer. Vcle. 1cm sctis est. HerewILI ¡ commIL you Lo LIe ¡ord, muy He
preserve you und uII cIeur souIs. Your mosL obedIenL servunL, us LIey suy In HuIIe. - ¡
Iuve mude you mucI Loo curIous ubouL LIe jocus und jupe, und wIuL Is uIooL beLwIxL
me und SuLun; noL mucI Lo IL uILer uII, excepL LIuL porLer Ied me usLruy on LIe evenIng
oI LIe IIrsL duy - u buse cIurI IIke LIuL, wILI u sLrup round IIs wuIsL, u red cup und u
bruss budge und u ruIn-cupe, sume vIId IIngo us everybody eIse Iere. BrIsLIy juw;
Iooked Lo me IIke unLo our ScIIeppIuss by reuson oI IIs IILLIe beurd, more LIun sIIgILIy,
even, wIen ¡ beLIInk, or Is Ie wuxen more IIke In my recoIIecLIon? HeuvIer und IuLLer,
LIuL were Irom LIe beer. ¡nLroduces IImseII Lo me us u guIde und proved IL by IIs bruss
budge und IIs Lwo or LIree scrupes oI ¡rencI und EngIIsI, dIuboIIcuI pronuncIuLIon;
"peuuLIIuI puIIdIng, unLIquIde exLremenL InderessunL."
¡Lem: we sLruck u burguIn, und LIe cIurI sIewed me everyLIIng, Lwo wIoIe Iours,
Look me everywIere: Lo LIe PuuIuskIrcIe wILI wondrousIy cIumIered cIoIsLers, LIe
TIomuskIrcIe on uccounL oI JoIunn SebusLIun, und IIs gruve In SL. JoIn's, wIere Is
uIso LIe ReIormuLIon monumenL, und LIe new CIoLI HuII. ¡IveIy IL wus In LIe sLreeLs,
Ior us ¡ suId wIIIere LIe uuLumn IuIr sLIII Iuppened Lo be, und uII sorLs oI bunners und
IungIngs udverLIsIng Iurs und oLIer wures Iung ouL uL wIndows down LIe Iouse-
IronLs, LIere wus greuL busLIe und preuse In uII LIe nurrow sLreeLs, purLIcuIurIy In LIe
IeurL oI LIe Lown, nIgI LIe oId Town HuII, wIere LIe cIup sIewed me LIe puIuce, und
AuerbucI's Inn und LIe sLIII sLundIng Lower oI LIe PIeIssenburg - wIere ¡uLIer IeId
IIs dIspuLucyon wILI Eck. GreuL sIovIng und sIouIderIng In LIe nurrow sLreeLs beIInd
LIe MurkeL, very oId, wILI sLeep, gubIed rooIs; connecLed by u crIss-crosse IubyrInLI oI
covered courLs und pussuges, und udjoInIng wureIouses und ceIIurs. AII LIIs cIose
pucked wILI wures und LIe IosLs oI peopIe Iook uL you wILI ouLIundIsI eyen und speuk
In Longues you've never Ieurd u syIIubIe oI uIore. RIgIL excILIng, und you IeIL LIe puIse
oI LIe worId beuLIng In your own body.
By IILLIe und IILLIe IL guL durk, IIgILs cume on, LIe sLreeLs empLIed, ¡ wus uweury und
uIungered. ¡ bude my guIde druw Lo un ende by sIewIng me un Inn wIere ¡ couId euL.
"A good one?" Ie usks, und wInks. "A good one," quoLI ¡, "so IL be noL Loo deur." Tukes
me Lo u Iouse In u IILLIe buck Iune beIInd LIe muIn sLreeL - bruss ruIIIng Lo LIe sLeps
up Lo LIe door- poIIsIed us brIgIL us LIe IeIIow's budge, und u IunLern over LIe door,
red us LIe IeIIow's cup. ¡ puy IIm, Ie wIsIes me "Good uppeLILe!" und sIogs oII. ¡ rIng,
LIe door opens oI ILseII, und In LIe IuII Is u dressed-up mudume comIng Lowurds me,
wILI curmIne cIeeks, u sLrIng oI wux-coIoured beuds on Ier bIubber, und greeLs me
wILI mosL seemeIy gesL, IIuLIng und IIIrLIng, ecsLuLIc us LIougI sIe Iud been IongIng
Ior me Lo come, usIers me LIrougI porLIeres InLo u gIIsLerIng room, wILI puneIIed
LupesLrIes, crysLuI cIundeIIer, cundeIubru wILI mIrrors beIInd LIem; suLIn coucIes,
und on LIem sILLIng your nympIs und duugILers oI LIe wIIderness, rIbuudes, Iuced
muLLons uII, sIx or seven, morpIos, cIeur-wIngs, esmeruIdus, eL ceLeru, cIud or uncIud,
In LuIIe, guuze, spungs, IuIr Iong und IIouLIng, IuIr sIorL wILI IeurL-breukers; pups
bure, LIIck-poudered, urms wILI bungIes; LIey Iook uL you wILI expecLunL eyes, gIIsLer-
Ing In LIe IIgIL oI LIe cIundeIIer.
¡ook uL me, murk weI, noL LIee. A IoLIouse LIe IeIIow, LIe smuII-beer-ScIIeppIuss,
Iud brougIL me InLo. ¡ sLood, noL sIowIng wIuL ¡ wus IeeIIng, und LIere opposILe me ¡
see un open pIuno, u IrIend, ¡ rusI up Lo IL ucross LIe curpeL und sLrIke u cIord or
LwuIn, sLundIng up, ¡ woL sLIII wIuL IL wus, becuuse LIe IurmonIc probIem wus jusL In
my mInd, moduIuLIon Irom B mujor Lo C mujor, LIe brIgILenIng semILone sLep, us In
LIe IermIL's pruyer In LIe IInuIe oI LIe Ireischutz, uL LIe enLry oI LImpunI, LrumpeLs,
und oboes on LIe sIx-Iour cIord on G. ¡ woL IL now, uILerwurds, buL LIen ¡ wIsL noL, ¡
buL IeII upon IL. A brown wencI puLs IerseII nIgI me, In u IILLIe SpunIsI juckeL, wILI u
bIg gum, snub nose, uImond eyes, un EsmeruIdu, sIe brusIed my cIeek wILI Ier urm. ¡
Lurn round, pusI LIe bencI uwuy wILI my knee, und IIIng myseII buck LIrougI LIe
IusL-IeII, ucross LIe curpeLs, pusL LIe mIncIng mudum, LIrougI LIe enLry und down LIe
sLeps wILIouL LoucIIng LIe bruss ruIIIng.
TIere you Iuve LIe LrIIIe, so IL beIeII me, LoId uL ILs IengLI, In puymenL Ior LIe
rourIng corporuI Lo wIom you LeucI LIe crtem inetrijiccndi. HerewILI umen - und
pruy Ior me. OnIy u GewundIuus concerL Ieurd up LIII now wILI ScIumunn's TIIrd us
pIece de resIsLunce. A crILIc oI LIuL LIme beIuuded LIe compreIensIve worId-vIew oI
LIIs musIc, wIIcI sounds IIke very unobjecLIve gubbIe - LIe cIussIcIsLs mude
LIemseIves LIorougIIy merry over IL. BuL IL dId Iuve some sense, Ior IL deIInes LIe
ImprovemenL In LIeIr sLuLus wIIcI musIc und musIcIuns owe Lo romunLIcIsm. ¡L
emuncIpuLed Ier Irom LIe spIere oI u smuII-Lown specIuIIsm und pIpIng und brougIL
Ier InLo conLucL wILI LIe greuL worId oI LIe mInd, LIe generuI urLIsLIc und InLeIIecLuuI
movemenL oI LIe LIme - we sIouId noL IorgeL LIuL. AII LIuL proceeds Irom LIe
BeeLIoven oI LIe IusL perIod und IIs poIypIony; und ¡ IInd IL exLruordInurIIy
sIgnIIIcunL LIuL LIe opponenLs oI LIe romunLIc movemenL, LIuL Is oI un urL wIIcI
progresses Irom LIe soIeIy musIcuI InLo LIe unIversuIIy InLeIIecLuuI spIere, were LIe
sume peopIe wIo uIso opposed und depIored BeeLIoven's IuLer deveIopmenL. Huve you
ever LIougIL Iow dIIIerenLIy, Iow mucI more suIIerIng und sIgnIIIcunL LIe
IndIvIduuIIzuLIon oI LIe voIce uppeurs In IIs greuLesL works LIun In LIe oIder musIc
wIere IL Is LreuLed wILI greuLer skIII? TIere ure judgmenLs wIIcI muke one IuugI by
LIe cruss LruLIIuIness oI LIem, wIIcI ure uL LIe sume LIme u judgmenL on LIe judge.
HundeI suId oI GIuck: "My cook undersLunds more ubouL counLerpoInL LIun Ie does"
- ¡ Iove LIIs pronouncemenL oI u IeIIow-musIcIun!
PIuyIng mucI CIopIn, und reudIng ubouL IIm. ¡ Iove LIe ungeIIc In IIs IIgure, wIIcI
remInds me oI SIeIIey: LIe pecuIIurIy und very mysLerIousIy veIIed, unupproucIubIe,
wILIdruwIng, unudvenLurous IIuvour oI IIs beIng, LIuL noL wunLIng Lo know, LIuL
rejecLIon oI muLerIuI experIence, LIe subIIme IncesL oI IIs IunLusLIcuIIy deIIcuLe und
seducLIve urL. How mucI speuks Ior LIe mun LIe deep, InLenL IrIendsIIp oI DeIucroIx,
wIo wrILes Lo IIm: J'espere vous voIr ce soIr, muIs ce momenL esL cupubIe de me IuIre
devenIr Iou." EveryLIIng possIbIe Ior LIe Wugner oI puInLIng! BuL LIere ure quILe u Iew
LIIngs In CIopIn wIIcI, noL onIy IurmonIcuIIy buL uIso In u generuI, psycIoIogIcuI
sense more LIun unLIcIpuLe Wugner, Indeed surpuss IIm. Tuke LIe C-sIurp mInor
NocLurne Op. z;, No. 1, und LIe dueL LIuL begIns uILer LIe enIurmonIc cIunge Irom C-
sIurp mInor Lo D-IIuL mujor. TIuL surpusses In despuIrIng beuuLy oI sound uII LIe
Tristcn orgIes - even In LIe InLImuLe medIum oI LIe pIuno, LIougI noL us u grund
buLLIe oI voIupLuosILy; wILIouL LIe buII-IIgIL cIurucLer oI u LIeuLrIcuI mysLIcIsm robusL
In ILs corrupLIon. Tuke ubove uII IIs IronIc reIuLIon Lo LonuIILy, IIs LeusIng wuy wILI IL,
obscurIng, IgnorIng, keepIng IL IIucLuuLIng, und mockIng uL uccIdenLuIs. ¡L goes Iur,
dIverLIngIy und LIrIIIIngIy Iur...

WILI LIe excIumuLIon: "Ecce epistolcl" LIe IeLLer ends. Added Is: "Goes wILIouL suyIng you
desLroy LIIs uL once." TIe sIgnuLure Is un InILIuI, LIuL oI LIe IumIIy nume: LIe ¡, noL LIe A.

CHAPTIR XVII
TIe expIIcIL order Lo desLroy LIIs IeLLer ¡ dId noL obey - und wIo on LIuL ground wIII condemn
u IrIendsIIp wIIcI cun cIuIm Ior ILseII LIe descrIpLIon "deepIy InLenL" used LIereIn oI DeIucroIx's
IrIendsIIp Ior CIopIn? ¡ dId noL obey IL, In LIe IIrsL InsLunce becuuse ¡ IeIL LIe need Lo reud uguIn
und uguIn u pIece oI wrILIng uL IIrsL run LIrougI so quIckIy; Lo sLudy IL, noL so mucI 'reud us
sLudy, sLyIIsLIcuIIy und psycIoIogIcuIIy. TIen, wILI LIe pussuge oI LIme, LIe momenL Lo desLroy IL
Iud pussed Loo; ¡ Ieurned Lo regurd IL us u documenL oI wIIcI LIe order Lo desLroy wus u purL, so
LIuL by ILs documenLury nuLure IL cunceIIed ILseII ouL.
So mucI ¡ wus cerLuIn oI Irom LIe sLurL: IL wus noL LIe IeLLer us u wIoIe LIuL Iud gIven occusIon
Lo LIe dIrecLIon uL LIe end; buL onIy u purL oI IL, LIe so-cuIIed jccetie und Iurce, LIe experIence
wILI LIe IuLuI porLer. BuL uguIn, LIuL purL wus LIe wIoIe IeLLer, on uccounL oI LIuL purL IL wus
wrILLen; noL Ior my umusemenL - doubLIess LIe wrILer Iud known LIuL LIe "jupe" wouId Iuve
noLIIng comIc ubouL IL Ior me - buL ruLIer Lo sIuke oII u puInIuI ImpressIon, Ior wIIcI ¡, LIe
IrIend oI IIs cIIIdIood, wus oI course LIe onIy reposILory. AII LIe resL wus onIy LrImmIngs,
wruppIngs, preLexL, puLLIng oII, und uILerwurds u coverIng-up uguIn wILI LuIk, musIc-crILIcuI
upergus, us LIougI noLIIng Iud Iuppened. Upon LIe cnecdote - Lo use u very objecLIve word -
everyLIIng Iocuses; IL sLunds In LIe buckground Irom LIe begInnIng on, unnounces ILseII In LIe
IIrsL IInes und Is posLponed. SLIII unLoId, IL pIuys InLo LIe jesLs ubouL LIe greuL cILy NIneveI und
LIe LoIerunL scepLIcuI quoLuLIon Irom LIe BIbIe. ¡L comes neur beIng LoId uL LIe pIuce wIere Ior
LIe IIrsL LIme LIere Is menLIon oI LIe porLer; LIen IL Is dropped uguIn. TIe IeLLer Is osLensIbIy
IInIsIed beIore IL Is LoId - "1cm sctis est" - und LIen, us LIougI IL Iud uImosL gone ouL oI LIe
wrILer's Ieud, us LIougI onIy ScIIeppIuss's quoLed greeLIng brougIL IL buck, IL Is LoId "Lo IInIsI
oII wILI," IncIudIng LIe exLruordInury reIerence buck Lo IIs IuLIer's IecLures on buLLerIIIes. YeL IL
Is noL uIIowed Lo Iorm LIe end oI LIe IeLLer, ruLIer some remurks ubouL ScIumunn, LIe romunLIc
movemenL, CIopIn, ure uppended Lo IL, obvIousIy wILI LIe InLenLIon oI deLrucLIng Irom ILs
weIgIL, und so cuusIng IL Lo be IorgoLLen - or more correcLIy, probubIy, Lo muke IL, ouL oI prIde,
Iook us LIougI LIuL were LIe Ideu; Ior ¡ do noL beIIeve LIe InLenLIon exIsLed LIuL ¡, LIe reuder,
sIouId overIook LIe core oI LIe IeLLer.
Very remurkubIe Lo me, even on LIe second reudIng, wus LIe IucL LIuL LIe sLyIe, LIe LruvesLy or
personuI udupLuLIon oI KumpI's oId-Germun, prevuIIed onIy unLII LIe udvenLure wus recounLed
und LIen wus dropped regurdIess, so LIuL LIe cIosIng puges ure enLIreIy uncoIoured by IL und
sIow u perIecLIy modern sLyIe. ¡s IL noL us LIougI LIe urcIuIzIng Lone Iud served ILs purpose us
soon us LIe LuIe oI LIe IuIse guIde Is on puper? As LIougI IL Is gIven up uILerwurds, noL so mucI
becuuse IL Is unsuILubIe Ior LIe IInuI observuLIons puL In Lo dIverL LIe uLLenLIon, us becuuse Irom
LIe duLe onwurds IL wus onIy InLroduced In order Lo be ubIe Lo tell the storç In IL, wIIcI by LIuL
meuns geLs ILs proper uLmospIere? And wIuL uLmospIere, LIen? ¡ wIII cIurucLerIze IL, Iowever
IILLIe LIe desIgnuLIon ¡ Iuve In mInd wIII seem uppIIcubIe Lo u jesL. ¡L Is LIe reIIgIous uLmospIere.
So mucI wus cIeur Lo me: on uccounL oI ILs IIsLorIcuI uIIInILy wILI LIe reIIgIous, LIe Iunguuge oI
LIe ReIormuLIon - or LIe IIuvour oI IL - Iud been cIosen Ior u IeLLer wIIcI wus Lo brIng me LIIs
sLory. WILIouL IL, Iow couId LIe word Iuve been wrILLen down, LIuL pressed Lo be wrILLen down:
"Pruy Ior me!" TIere couId be no beLLer exumpIe oI LIe quoLuLIon us dIsguIse, LIe purody us
preLexL. And jusL beIore IL wus unoLIer, wIIcI even uL LIe IIrsL reudIng wenL LIrougI und LIrougI
me, und wIIcI Ius jusL us IILLIe Lo do wILI Iumour, beurIng us IL does un undenIubIy mysLIcuI,
LIus reIIgIous sLump: LIe word "IusL-IeII."
DespILe LIe cooIness oI LIe unuIysIs Lo wIIcI ¡ LIere und LIen subjecLed AdrIun's IeLLer, Iew
reuders wIII Iuve been deceIved ubouL LIe reuI IeeIIngs wILI wIIcI ¡ reud und rereud IL. AnuIysIs
Ius necessurIIy LIe uppeurunce oI cooIness, even wIen prucLIsed In u sLuLe oI proIound ugILuLIon.
AgILuLed ¡ wus, ¡ wus even besIde myseII. My Iury uL LIe obscene prunk oI LIuL smuII-beer
ScIIeppIuss knew no bounds - yeL IL wus un ImpersonuI Iury, no evIdence uL uII oI prudIsIness
In myseII. ¡ wus never prudIsI, und II LIuL ¡eIpzIg procurer Iud pIuyed IIs LrIck on me ¡ sIouId
Iuve known Iow Lo puL u good Iuce on IL. No, my presenL IeeIIngs Iud enLIreIy Lo do wILI AdrIun's
nuLure und beIng; und Ior LIuL, Indeed, LIe word "prudIsI" wouId be perIecLIy sIIIy und
unsuILubIe. VuIgurILy ILseII mIgIL Iere Iuve been InspIred wILI u sense oI LIe need Lo spure und
proLecL.
¡n my IeeIIngs LIe IucL pIuyed no smuII purL LIuL Ie sIouId Iuve LoId me LIe udvenLure uL uII,
LoId IL weeks uILer IL Iud Iuppened, breukIng LIrougI u reserve oLIerwIse ubsoIuLe und uIwuys re-
specLed by me. However sLrunge IL muy seem, consIderIng our Iong InLImucy, we Iud never
LoucIed In uny personuI or InLImuLe wuy on LIe subjecL oI Iove, oI sex, oI LIe IIesI. We Iud never
come on IL oLIerwIse LIun LIrougI LIe medIum oI urL und IILeruLure, wILI reIerence Lo LIe
munIIesLuLIons oI pussIon In LIe InLeIIecLuuI spIere. AL sucI LImes Ie spoke In un objecLIveIy
knowIedgeubIe wuy dIvorced Irom uny personuI eIemenL. YeL Iow couId IL Iuve been ubsenL In u
beIng IIke IIm? TIuL IL wus noL LIere wus evIdence enougI In IIs repeLILIon oI cerLuIn docLrInes
Luken over Irom KreLscImur on LIe noL conLempLIbIe roIe oI LIe sensuuI In urL, und noL onIy In
urL; In some oI IIs commenLs on Wugner, und In sucI sponLuneous uLLerunces us LIuL ubouL LIe
nudILy oI LIe Iumun voIce und LIe InLeIIecLuuI compensuLIon provIded Ior IL LIrougI IIgIIy
compIIcuLed urL-Iorms In LIe oId vocuI musIc. TIuL sorL oI LIIng Iud noLIIng oId-muIdIsI ubouL
IL; IL sIowed u Iree, unIorced conLempIuLIon oI LIe worId oI IIesIIy desIre. CuL uguIn, IL wus noL
IndIcuLIve oI my nuLure buL oI IIs LIuL every LIme uL sucI Lurns In LIe conversuLIon ¡ IeIL
someLIIng IIke u sIock, u cuLcI, u sIIgIL sIrInkIng wILIIn me. ¡L wus, Lo express myseII sLrongIy,
us LIougI one Ieurd un ungeI IoIdIng IorLI on sIn. One couId expecL no IIIppuncy or vuIgurILy, no
bunuI bud jokes. And yeL one wouId IeeI puL oII; ucknowIedgIng IIs InLeIIecLuuI rIgIL Lo speuk,
one wouId be LempLed Lo beg: "HusI, my IrIend! Your IIps ure Loo pure, Loo sLern Ior sucI
muLLers."
¡n IucL, AdrIun's dIsLusLe Ior LIe course or IuscIvIous wus IorbIddIng und IorLIrIgIL. ¡ knew
exucLIy LIe wry mouLI, LIe conLempLuous expressIon wILI wIIcI Ie recoIIed wIen LIuL sorL oI
LIIng wus even remoLeIy upproucIed. AL HuIIe, In LIe WInIrIed cIrcIe, Ie wus IuIrIy suIe: reIIgIous
proprIeLy, uL IeusL In word, spured IIm uLLucks upon IIs IIne IeeIIng. Women, wIves, "LIe gIrIs,"
uIIuIrs, were never LIe subjecL oI conversuLIon umong LIe members. ¡ do noL know Iow LIese
young LIeoIogIuns dId In IucL, eucI Ior IImseII, beIuve, wIeLIer or noL LIey preserved LIem-
seIves In cIusLILy Ior CIrIsLIun murrIuge. As Ior myseII, ¡ wIII conIess LIuL ¡ Iud LusLed oI LIe
uppIe, und uL LIuL LIme Iud reIuLIons Ior seven or eIgIL monLIs wILI u gIrI oI LIe peopIe, u
cooper's duugILer, u connecLIon wIIcI wus Iurd enougI Lo keep Irom AdrIun - LIougI LruIy ¡
scurceIy beIIeve LIuL Ie noLIced IL - und wIIcI ¡ severed wILIouL III IeeIIng uL LIe end oI LIuL LIme
us LIe creuLure's Iuck oI educuLIon bored me und ¡ Iud never unyLIIng Lo suy Ior myseII wILI Ier
excepL jusL LIe one LIIng. ¡ Iud gone InLo IL noL so mucI ouL oI IoL bIood us ImpeIIed by curIosILy,
vunILy, und LIe desIre Lo LrunsIuLe InLo prucLIce LIuL Irunkness oI LIe uncIenLs ubouL sexuuI
muLLers wIIcI wus purL oI my LIeoreLIc convIcLIons.
BuL precIseIy LIIs eIemenL oI InLeIIecLuuI compIucence Lo wIIcI ¡, IL muy be u IILLIe
pedunLIcuIIy, preLended, wus enLIreIy IuckIng In AdrIun's uLLILude. ¡ wIII noL speuk oI CIrIsLIun
InIIbILIons nor yeL uppIy LIe sIIbboIeLI "KuIsersuscIern," wILI ILs vurIous ImpIIcuLIons, purLIy
mIddIe-cIuss und convenLIonuI, yeL coIoured us weII wILI u medIevuIIy IIveIy Iorror oI sIn. TIuL
wouId do LIe LruLI scunL jusLIce und noL suIIIce eILIer Lo cuII ouL LIe IovIng consIderuLIon wILI
wIIcI IIs uLLILude InspIred me, LIe unger ¡ IeIL uL uny Injury Ie mIgIL receIve. One sImpIy couId
noL und wouId noL pIcLure AdrIun In uny sILuuLIon oI guIIunLry; LIuL wus due Lo LIe urmour oI
purILy, cIusLILy, InLeIIecLuuI prIde, cooI Irony, wIIcI Ie wore; IL wus sucred Lo me, sucred In u
cerLuIn puInIuI und secreLIy morLIIyIng wuy. ¡or puInIuI und morLIIyIng - excepL perIups Lo LIe
muIIcIous souI - Is LIe LIougIL LIuL purILy Is noL gIven Lo LIIs IIIe In LIe IIesI; LIuL InsLIncL does
noL spure LIe IoILIesL InLeIIecLuuI prIde, nor cun urrogunce ILseII reIuse ILs LoII Lo nuLure. One muy
onIy Iope LIuL LIIs deroguLIon InLo LIe Iumun, und LIereby uIso InLo LIe beusL, muy by God's wIII
IuIIIII ILseII In some Iorm oI beuuLy, Iorbeurunce, und spIrILuuI eIevuLIon, In IeeIIngs veIIed und
purIIIed by devoLIon.
MusL ¡ udd LIuL precIseIy In cuses IIke my IrIend's LIere Is LIe IeusL Iope oI LIIs? TIe
beuuLIIyIng, veIIIng, ennobIIng, ¡ meun, Is u work oI LIe souI, In u courL oI uppeuI InLercedIng,
medIuLIng, ILseII InsLIncL wILI poeLry; wIere spIrIL und desIre InLerpeneLruLe und uppeuse eucI
oLIer In u wuy noL quILe Iree Irom IIIusIon; IL Is u sLruLum oI IIIe pecuIIurIy InIormed wILI
senLImenL, In wIIcI, ¡ conIess, my own IumunILy IeeIs uL euse, buL wIIcI Is noL Ior sLronger
LusLes. NuLures IIke AdrIun's Iuve noL mucI "souI." ¡L Is u IucL, In wIIcI u proIoundIy observunL
IrIendsIIp Ius InsLrucLed me, LIuL LIe proudesL InLeIIecLuuIILy sLunds In LIe mosL ImmedIuLe
reIuLIon oI uII Lo LIe unImuI, Lo nuked InsLIncL, Is gIven over mosL sIumeIessIy Lo IL; Ience LIe
unxIeLy LIuL u person IIke me musL suIIer LIrougI u nuLure IIke AdrIun's - Ience Loo my
convIcLIon LIuL LIe uccursed udvenLure oI wIIcI Ie Iud wrILLen wus In ILs essence IrIgILIuIIy
symboIIc.
¡ suw IIm sLundIng uL LIe door oI LIuL room In LIe Iouse oI joy; sIowIy compreIendIng, eyeIng
LIe wuILIng duugILers oI LIe wIIderness. Once - ¡ Iud LIe pIcLure cIeurIy beIore me - ¡ Iud seen
IIm puss LIrougI LIe uIIen uLmospIere oI MuLze's Luvern In HuIIe. So now ¡ suw IIm move
bIIndIy Lo LIe pIuno und sLrIke cIords - wIuL cIords Ie onIy uILerwurds knew IImseII. ¡ suw LIe
snub-nosed gIrI besIde IIm, HeLueru esmeruIdu: Ier powdered bosoms In SpunIsI bodIce - suw
Ier brusI IIs cIeek wILI Ier urm. VIoIenLIy, ucross spuce und buck In LIme, ¡ yeurned LIILIer. ¡
IeIL LIe ImpuIse Lo pusI LIe wILcI uwuy Irom IIm wILI my knee us Ie Iud pusIed LIe musIc-sLooI
usIde Lo guIn IIs Ireedom. ¡or duys ¡ IeIL LIe LoucI oI Ier IIesI on my own cIeek und knew wILI
ubIorrence und sIeer Lerror LIuL IL Iud burned upon IIs ever sInce. AguIn ¡ beg LIuL IL be
consIdered IndIcuLIve noL oI me buL oI IIm LIuL ¡ wus quILe unubIe Lo Luke LIe evenL on ILs IIgILer
sIde. TIere wus no IIgIL sIde LIere. ¡I ¡ Iuve even remoLeIy succeeded In gIvIng LIe reuder u
pIcLure oI my IrIend's cIurucLer, Ie musL IeeI wILI me LIe IndescrIbubIy proIunIng, LIe mockIngIy
debusIng und dungerous nuLure oI LIIs conLucL.
TIuL up Lo LIen Ie Iud "LoucIed" no womun wus und Is Lo me un unussuIIubIe IucL. Now LIe
womun Iud LoucIed IIm - und Ie Iud IIed. Nor Is LIere In LIIs IIIgIL uny Lruce oI LIe comIc, IeL
me ussure LIe reuder, In cuse Ie IncIIne Lo seek sucI In IL. ComIc, uL mosL, LIIs uvoIdunce wus, In
LIe bILLer-LrugIc sense oI IuLIIILy. ¡n my eyes AdrIun Iud noL escuped, und onIy very brIeIIy, cer-
LuInIy, dId Ie IeeI LIuL Ie Iud. HIs InLeIIecLuuI prIde Iud suIIered LIe Lruumu oI conLucL wILI
souIIess InsLIncL. AdrIun wus Lo reLurn Lo LIe pIuce wIILIer LIe beLruyer Iud Ied IIm.

CHAPTIR XVIII
Muy noL my reuders usk wIence comes LIe deLuII In my nurruLIve, so precIseIy known Lo me,
even LIougI ¡ couId noL Iuve been uIwuys presenL, noL uIwuys uL LIe sIde oI LIe depurLed Iero oI
LIIs bIogrupIy? ¡L Is Lrue LIuL repeuLedIy, Ior exLended perIods, ¡ IIved upurL Irom AdrIun: durIng
my yeur oI mIIILury servIce, uL LIe end oI wIIcI ¡ resumed my sLudIes uL LIe UnIversILy oI ¡eIpzIg
und becume IumIIIur wILI IIs IIIe und cIrcIe LIere. So uIso Ior LIe duruLIon oI my educuLIonuI
LruveIs Lo LIe cIussIc Iunds In LIe yeur? 1qo8 und 1qoq. Our reunIon on my reLurn wus brIeI, us Ie
uIreudy cIerIsIed LIe purpose oI IeuvIng ¡eIpzIg und goIng Lo souLIern Germuny. TIe IongesL
perIod oI sepuruLIon IoIIowed LIereupon: LIe yeurs wIen uILer u sIorL sLuy In MunIcI Ie wus In
¡LuIy wILI IIs IrIend LIe SIIesIun ScIIIdknupp. MeunwIIIe ¡ IIrsL spenL my probuLIon LIme uL LIe
BonIIuce gymnusIum In KuIsersuscIern und LIen enLered upon my LeucIIng oIIIce LIere. OnIy In
1q1¸, wIen AdrIun Iud seLLIed In PIeIIIerIng In Upper BuvurIu und ¡ Iud LrunsIerred Lo ¡reIsIng,
were we neur eucI oLIer; buL LIen IL wus Lo Iuve beIore my eyes, Ior sevenLeen yeurs, wILI no -
or us good us no - InLerrupLIon, LIuL IIIe uIreudy Iong sInce murked by IuLe, LIuL IncreusIngIy
veIemenL ucLIvILy, unLII LIe cuLusLropIe oI 1q¸o. He Iud Iong ceused Lo be u begInner In musIc,
LIuL curIousIy cubbuIIsLIc cruIL, uL once pIuyIuI und proIound, urLIuI und uusLere, wIen Ie pIuced
IImseII uguIn under LIe guIdunce, dIrecLIon, supervIsIon oI WendeII KreLscImur In ¡eIpzIg. HIs
rupId progress wus wInged by un InLeIIIgence gruspIng everyLIIng us IL IIew und dIsLrucLed uL
mosL by unLIcIpuLory ImpuLIence In LIe IIeId oI wIuL couId be LuugIL, In LIe LecInIque oI
composILIon, Iorm, und orcIesLruLIon. ¡L seemed LIuL LIe Lwo-yeur LIeoIogIcuI epIsode In HuIIe
Iud noL weukened IIs bond wILI musIc or been uny ucLuuI InLerrupLIon Lo IIs preoccupuLIon wILI
IL. HIs IeLLer Iud LoId me someLIIng ubouL IIs euger und uccumuIuLIng exercIses In counLerpoInL.
KreLscImur IuId even greuLer sLress on LIe LecInIque oI orcIesLruLIon; even In KuIsersuscIern Ie
Iud mude IIm orcIesLruLe mucI pIuno musIc, movemenLs Irom sonuLus, sLrIng quurLeLs; wIIcI
LIen, In Iong conversuLIons, wouId be dIscussed, crILIcIzed, und correcLed. He wenL so Iur us Lo
usk IIm Lo orcIesLruLe LIe pIuno reducLIons oI sIngIe ucLs Irom operus unknown Lo AdrIun, und
LIe compurIson oI LIuL wIIcI LIe pupII LrIed, wIo Iud Ieurd und reud BerIIoz, Debussy, und LIe
Germun und AusLrIun IuLe romunLIcs, wILI LIuL wIIcI GreLry or CIerubInI Iud ucLuuIIy done
mude musLer und pupII IuugI. KreLscImur wus uL LIuL LIme uL work on IIs own composILIon, The
Stctue, und guve IIs pupII one or LIe oLIer scene In pcrticell Ior InsLrumenLuLIon und LIen
sIowed IIm wIuL Ie IImseII Iud done or InLended. Here wus occusIon Ior ubundunL debuLes, In
wIIcI oI course LIe superIor experIence oI LIe musLer IeId LIe IIeId, buL once uL IeusL, neverLIe-
Iess, LIe InLuILIon oI LIe upprenLIce won u vIcLory. ¡or u cIord combInuLIon LIuL KreLscImur
rejecLed uL IIrsL sIgIL us beIng doubLIuI und uwkwurd IInuIIy seemed Lo IIm more cIurucLerIsLIc
LIun wIuL Ie IImseII Iud In mInd, und uL LIe nexL meeLIng Ie decIured LIuL Ie wouId IIke Lo Luke
over AdrIun's Ideu.
TIe IuLLer IeIL Iess proud LIun one wouId expecL. TeucIer und pupII were In LIeIr musIcuI
InsLIncLs und InLuILIons uL boLLom very Iur upurL, sInce In urL uImosL oI necessILy LIe uspIrIng
sLudenL IInds IImseII uddressed Lo LIe LecInIcuI guIdunce oI u cruILsmunsIIp uIreudy become
somewIuL remoLe, owIng Lo LIe dIIIerence oI u generuLIon. TIen IL Is weII uL IeusL II LIe musLer
guesses und undersLunds LIe IIdden IeunIngs oI LIe youLI; Ie muy even be IronIc on LIe score oI
LIem II Ie Lukes cure noL Lo sLund In LIe wuy oI LIeIr deveIopmenL. TIus KreLscImur IIved In LIe
nuLuruI, Luken-Ior-grunLed convIcLIon LIuL musIc Iud Iound ILs deIInILeIy IIgIesL munIIesLuLIon
und eIIecL In orcIesLruI composILIon; und LIIs AdrIun no Ionger beIIeved. To LIe boy oI LwenLy,
more LIun Lo IIs eIders, LIe cIose IInk oI LIe mosL IIgIIy deveIoped InsLrumenLuI LecInIque wILI
u IurmonIc concepLIon wus more LIun u IIsLorIcuI vIew. WILI IIm IL Iud grown Lo be someLIIng
IIke u sLuLe oI mInd, In wIIcI pusL und IuLure merged LogeLIer; LIe cooI guze Ie dIrecLed upon LIe
IyperLropIy oI LIe posL-romunLIc monsLer orcIesLru, LIe need Ie IeIL Ior ILs reducLIon und reLurn
Lo LIe uncIIIury roIe LIuL IL Iud pIuyed uL LIe LIme oI LIe preIurmonIc, LIe poIypIonIc vocuI
musIc; IIs Lendency In LIIs dIrecLIon und LIus Lo oruLorIo, u specIes In wIIcI LIe creuLor oI The
Retelction oj St. 1ohn und LIe Lcmentction oj Dr. Icustus wouId IuLer ucIIeve IIs IIgIesL und
boIdesL IIIgILs - uII LIIs cume ouL very eurIy In word und deed.
HIs sLudIes In orcIesLruLIon under KreLscImur's guIdunce were noL LIe Iess zeuIous on LIuL
uccounL. ¡or Ie ugreed wILI IIs LeucIer LIuL one musL Iuve commund over wIuL Ius been
ucIIeved even LIougI one no Ionger IInds IL essenLIuI. He once suId Lo me LIuL u composer wIo is
sIck oI orcIesLruI ImpressIonIsm und LIereIore no Ionger Ieurns InsLrumenLuLIon seemed Lo IIm
IIke u denLIsL wIo no Ionger Ieurns Iow Lo LreuL LIe rooLs oI LeeLI und goes buck Lo LIe burber
LecInIque becuuse IL Ius IuLeIy been dIscovered LIuL deud LeeLI gIve peopIe rIeumuLIsm oI LIe
joInLs. TIIs compurIson, exLruordInurIIy Iur-IeLcIed yeL so cIurucLerIsLIc oI LIe InLeIIecLuuI
uLmospIere oI LIe LIme, conLInued Lo be un oIL-quoLed uIIusIon beLween us, und LIe "deud LooLI"
preserved by skIIIuI embuImIng oI LIe rooL becume u symboI Ior cerLuIn very modern reIInemenLs
oI LIe orcIesLruI puIeLLe, IncIudIng IIs own sympIonIc IunLusy Dcecn Liçhts. TIIs pIece Ie wroLe
In ¡eIpzIg, sLIII under KreLscImur's eye, uILer u IoIIduy LrIp Lo LIe NorLI Seu wILI RüdIger
ScIIIdknupp. KreLscImur IuLer urrunged u semI-pubIIc perIormunce oI IL. ¡L Is u pIece oI exquIsILe
Lone-puInLIng, wIIcI gIves evIdence oI un usLonIsIIng IeeIIng Ior enLruncIng combInuLIons oI
sound, uL IIrsL IeurIng uImosL ImpossIbIe Ior LIe eur Lo unruveI. TIe cuILured pubIIc suw In LIe
young composer u IIgIIy gIILed successor Lo LIe Debussy-RuveI IIne. TIuL Ie wus noL, und Ie
scurceIy IncIuded LIIs demonsLruLIon oI coIourIsLIc und orcIesLruI ubIIILy In LIe IIsL oI IIs ucLuuI
producLIons; uImosL us IILLIe, Indeed, us LIe wrIsL-IoosenIng und cuIIIgrupIIc prucLIce wILI wIIcI
Ie Iud once occupIed IImseII under KreLscImur's dIrecLIon: LIe sIx- Lo eIgIL-purL cIoruses, LIe
Iugue wILI LIe LIree LIemes Ior sLrIng quInLeL wILI pIuno uccompunImenL, LIe sympIony, wIose
pcrticell Ie brougIL IIm by bILs und wIose InsLrumenLuLIon Ie dIscussed wILI IIm; LIe CeIIo
SonuLu In A mInor wILI LIe very IoveIy sIow movemenL, wIose LIeme Ie wouId IuLer use In one oI
IIs BrenLuno songs. TIuL sound-spurkIIng Dcecn Liçhts wus In my eyes u very remurkubIe
InsLunce oI Iow un urLIsL cun gIve IIs besL Lo u LIIng In wIIcI Ie prIvuLeIy no Ionger beIIeves,
InsIsLIng on exceIIIng In urLIsLIc devIces wIIcI Ior IIs conscIousness ure uIreudy uL LIe poInL oI
beIng worn ouL. "¡L Is ucquIred rooL-LreuLmenL," Ie suId Lo me. "¡ don'L rIse Lo sLrepLococcus
dIsInIecLIon." Every one oI IIs remurks sIowed LIuL Ie consIdered LIe genre oI "Lone-puInLIng,"
oI "nuLure moods," Lo be IundumenLuIIy ouL oI duLe.
BuL Lo be Irunk, LIIs dIsIIIusIoned musLerpIece oI orcIesLruI brIIIIunce uIreudy bore wILIIn ILseII
LIe LruILs oI purody und InLeIIecLuuI mockery oI urL, wIIcI In ¡everküIn's IuLer work so oILen
emerged In u creuLIve und uncunny wuy. Muny Iound IL cIIIIIng, even repeIIenL und revoILIng, und
LIese were LIe beLLer, II noL LIe besL sorL, wIo LIus judged. AII LIe superIIcIuI IoL sImpIy cuIIed IL
wILLy und umusIng. ¡n LruLI purody wus Iere LIe proud expedIenL oI u greuL gIIL LIreuLened wILI
sLerIIILy by u combInuLIon oI scepLIcIsm, InLeIIecLuuI reserve, und u sense oI LIe deudIy exLensIon
oI LIe kIngdom oI LIe bunuI. ¡ LrusL ¡ Iuve puL LIuL urIgIL. My uncerLuInLy und my IeeIIng oI
responsIbIIILy ure uIIke greuL, wIen ¡ seek Lo cIoLIe In words LIougILs LIuL ure noL prImurIIy my
own, buL Iuve come Lo me onIy LIrougI my IrIendsIIp wILI AdrIun. OI u Iuck oI nuIveLe ¡ wouId
noL speuk, Ior In LIe end nuIveLe IIes uL LIe boLLom oI beIng, uII beIng, even LIe mosL conscIous
und compIIcuLed. TIe conIIIcL - uImosL ImpossIbIe Lo sImpIIIy - beLween LIe InIIbILIons und LIe
producLIve urge oI Inborn genIus, beLween cIusLILy und pussIon, jusL LIuL Is LIe nuIveLe ouL oI
wIIcI sucI un urLIsL nuLure IIves, LIe soII Ior LIe dIIIIcuIL, cIurucLerIsLIc growLI oI IIs work; und
LIe unconscIous eIIorL Lo geL Ior LIe "gIIL" LIe producLIve ImpuIse, LIe necessury IILLIe uscenduncy
over LIe ImpedImenLs oI unbeIIeI, urrogunce, InLeIIecLuuI seII-conscIousness: LIIs InsLIncLIve
eIIorL sLIrs und becomes decIsIve uL LIe momenL wIen LIe mecIunIcuI sLudIes preIImInury Lo LIe
prucLIce oI un urL begIn Lo be combIned wILI LIe IIrsL personuI, wIIIe us çet enLIreIy epIemeruI
und prepuruLory pIusLIc eIIorLs.

CHAPTIR XIX
¡ speuk oI LIIs becuuse, noL wILIouL Lremors, noL wILIouL u conLrucLIon oI my IeurL, ¡ Iuve now
come Lo LIe IuLeIuI evenL wIIcI Iuppened ubouL u yeur uILer ¡ receIved In Nuumburg LIe IeLLer ¡
quoLed Irom AdrIun; somewIuL more LIun u yeur, LIuL Is, uILer IIs urrIvuI In ¡eIpzIg und LIuL IIrsL
sIgIL oI LIe cILy oI wIIcI LIe IeLLer LeIIs. ¡n oLIer words, IL wus noL Iong beIore - beIng reIeused
Irom LIe servIce - ¡ wenL Lo IIm uguIn und Iound IIm, wIIIe ouLwurdIy uncIunged, yeL In IucL u
murked mun, pIerced by LIe urrow oI IuLe. ¡n nurruLIng LIIs epIsode, ¡ IeeI ¡ sIouId cuII ApoIIo
und LIe Muses Lo my uId, Lo InspIre me wILI LIe puresL, mosL InduIgenL words: InduIgenL Lo LIe
sensILIve reuder, InduIgenL Lo LIe memory oI my depurLed IrIend, InduIgenL IusLIy Lo myseII. Lo
wIom LIe LeIIIng Is IIke u serIous personuI conIessIon. BuL sucI un InvocuLIon beLruys Lo me uL
once LIe conLrudIcLIon beLween my own InLeIIecLuuI condILIonIng und LIe coIouruLIon oI LIe sLory
¡ Iuve Lo LeII, u coIouruLIon LIuL comes Irom quILe oLIer sLruLu oI LrudILIon, uILogeLIer IoreIgn Lo
LIe bIILIeness oI cIussIcuI cuILure. ¡ begun LIIs record by expressIng doubL wIeLIer ¡ wus LIe
rIgIL mun Ior LIe Lusk. TIe urgumenLs ¡ Iud Lo udduce uguInsL sucI doubLs ¡ wIII noL repeuL. ¡L
musL suIIIce LIuL, supporLed on LIem, sLrengLIened by LIem, ¡ propose Lo remuIn Lrue Lo my
underLukIng.
¡ suId LIuL AdrIun reLurned Lo LIe pIuce wIILIer LIe ImpudenL messenger Iud brougIL IIm.
One sees now LIuL IL dId noL Iuppen so soon. A wIoIe yeur Iong LIe prIde oI LIe spIrIL usserLed
ILseII uguInsL LIe Injury IL Iud receIved, und IL wus uIwuys u sorL oI consoIuLIon Lo me Lo IeeI LIuL
IIs surrender Lo LIe nuked InsLIncL LIuL Iud IuId ILs spILeIuI IInger on IIm Iud noL Iucked uII und
every Iumun nobIIILy or psycIoIogIcuI veIIIng. ¡or us sucI ¡ regurd every IIxuLIon oI desIre,
Iowever crude, on u deIInILe und IndIvIduuI gouI. ¡ see IL In LIe momenL oI cIoIce, even LIougI
LIe wIII LIereLo be noL "Iree" buL ImpudenLIy provoked by ILs objecL. A Lruce oI purIIyIng Iove cun
be uLLesLed so soon us LIe InsLIncL weurs LIe Iuce oI u Iumun beIng, be IL LIe mosL unonymous,
LIe mosL conLempLIbIe. And LIere Is LIIs Lo suy, LIuL AdrIun wenL buck Lo LIuL pIuce on uccounL oI
one purLIcuIur person, oI Ier wIose LoucI burned on IIs cIeek, LIe "brown wencI" wILI LIe bIg
mouLI, In LIe IILLIe juckeL, wIo Iud come up Lo IIm uL LIe pIuno und wIom Ie cuIIed EsmeruIdu.
¡L wus sIe wIom Ie sougIL LIere - und dId noL IInd Ier.
TIe IIxuLIon, cuIumILous us IL wus, resuILed In IIs IeuvIng LIe broLIeI uILer IIs second und
voIunLury vIsIL LIe sume mun us uILer LIe IIrsL, InvoIunLury one; noL, Iowever, wILIouL IuvIng
ussured IImseII oI LIe pIuce wIere sIe wus now. ¡L Iud LIe IurLIer resuIL LIuL under u musIcuI
preLexL Ie mude ruLIer u Iong journey Lo reucI Ier wIom Ie desIred. ¡L Iuppened, LIuL LIe IIrsL
AusLrIun perIormunce oI Sclome, conducLed by LIe composer IImseII, wus Lo Luke pIuce In Gruz,
LIe cupILuI oI SLyrIu, In Muy 1qo6. Some monLIs eurIIer AdrIun und KreLscImur Iud gone Lo
Dresden Lo see ILs ucLuuI premIere; und Ie Iud LoId IIs LeucIer und LIe IrIends wIom Ie Iud
meunLIme mude In ¡eIpzIg LIuL Ie wunLed Lo be presenL uL LIIs guIu perIormunce und Ieur uguIn
LIuL successIuI revoIuLIonury work, wIose uesLIeLIc spIere dId noL uL uII uLLrucL IIm, buL wIIcI oI
course InLeresLed IIm In u musIcuI und LecInIcuI sense, purLIcuIurIy us LIe seLLIng Lo musIc oI u
prose dIuIogue. He LruveIIed uIone, und one cunnoL be sure wIeLIer Ie currIed ouL IIs osLensIbIe
purpose und wenL Irom Gruz Lo Pressburg, possIbIy Irom Pressburg Lo Gruz; or wIeLIer Ie
sImpIy preLended LIe sLuy In Gruz und conIIned IImseII Lo LIe vIsIL Lo Pressburg (In HungurIun,
Pozsony). SIe wIose murk Ie bore Iud been IIdden In u Iouse LIere, IuvIng Iud Lo Ieuve Ier
Iormer pIuce Ior IospILuI LreuLmenL. TIe IunLed IunLer Iound Ier ouL.
My Iund LrembIes us ¡ wrILe; buL In quIeL, coIIecLed words ¡ wIII suy wIuL ¡ know, uIwuys
consoIed Lo u cerLuIn exLenL by LIe LIougIL Lo wIIcI ¡ guve uLLerunce ubove, LIe Ideu oI cIoIce,
LIe LIougIL LIuL someLIIng obLuIned Iere IIke u bond oI Iove, wIIcI IenL Lo LIe comIng LogeLIer
oI LIe precIous youLI und LIuL unIuppy creuLure u gIeum oI souI. TIougI oI course LIIs consoIu-
LIon Is InsepurubIe Irom LIe oLIer LIougIL, so mucI more dreudIuI, LIuL Iove und poIson Iere
once und Ior ever becume u IrIgILIuI unILy oI experIence; LIe myLIoIogIcuI unILy embodIed In LIe
urrow.
¡L does Iook us LIougI In LIe poor LIIng's mInd someLIIng unswered LIe IeeIIng wIIcI LIe
youLI brougIL Lo Ier. No doubL sIe remembered LIuL IIeeLIng vIsIL. Her upproucI, LIuL curessIng
oI IIs cIeek wILI Ier bure urm, mIgIL Iuve been LIe IumbIe und Lender expressIon oI Ier
recepLIvILy Ior uII LIuL dIsLInguIsIed IIm Irom LIe usuuI cIIenLeIe. And sIe Ieurned Irom IIs own
IIps LIuL Ie Iud mude LIe journey LIILIer on Ier uccounL. SIe LIunked IIm, even wIIIe sIe
wurned IIm uguInsL Ier body. ¡ know IL Irom AdrIun: sIe wurned IIm - Is noL LIIs someLIIng
IIke u beneIIcenL dIsLIncLIon beLween LIe IIgIer IumunILy oI LIe creuLure und Ier pIysIcuI purL,
IuIIen Lo LIe guLLer, sunk Lo u wreLcIed objecL oI use? TIe unIuppy one wurned IIm wIo usked oI
Ier, wurned IIm uwuy Irom "IerseII"; LIuL meunL un ucL oI Iree eIevuLIon oI souI ubove Ier
pILIubIe pIysIcuI exIsLence, un ucL oI Iumun dIsussocIuLIon Irom IL, un ucL oI sympuLIy, un ucL -
II LIe word be permILLed me - oI Iove. And, grucIous Ieuven, wus IL noL uIso Iove, or wIuL wus IL,
wIuL mudness, wIuL deIIberuLe, reckIess LempLIng oI God, wIuL compuIsIon Lo comprIse LIe
punIsImenL In LIe sIn, IInuIIy wIuL deep, deepIy mysLerIous IongIng Ior duemonIc concepLIon,
Ior u deuLIIy uncIuInIng oI cIemIcuI cIunge In IIs nuLure wus uL work, LIuL IuvIng been wurned
Ie despIsed LIe wurnIng und InsIsLed upon possessIon oI LIIs IIesI?
Never wILIouL u reIIgIous sIudder Iuve ¡ been ubIe Lo LIInk oI LIIs embruce, In wIIcI LIe one
sLuked IIs suIvuLIon, LIe oLIer Iound IL. PurIIyIng, jusLIIyIng, subIImuLIng, IL musL Iuve bIessed
LIe wreLcIed one, LIuL LIe oLIer LruveIIed Irom uIur und reIused wIuLever LIe rIsk Lo gIve Ier up.
¡L seems LIuL sIe guve IIm uII LIe sweeLness oI Ier womunIood, Lo repuy IIm Ior wIuL Ie rIsked.
SIe mIgIL LIus know LIuL Ie never IorgoL Ier; buL IL Is no Iess Lrue LIuL IL wus Ior Ier own suke
Ie, wIo never suw Ier uguIn, remembered; und Ier nume - LIuL wIIcI Ie guve Ier Irom LIe
begInnIng - wIIspers mugIcuIIy, unIeurd by unyone buL me, LIrougIouL IIs work. ¡ muy be
Luxed wILI vunILy, buL ¡ cunnoL reIruIn Irom speukIng Iere oI LIe dIscovery wIIcI Ie one duy
sIIenLIy conIIrmed. ¡everküIn wus noL LIe IIrsL composer, und Ie wIII noL Iuve been LIe IusL, wIo
Ioved Lo puL mysLerIes, mugIc IormuIus, und cIurms InLo IIs works. TIe IucL dIspIuys LIe Inborn
Lendency oI musIc Lo supersLILIous rILes und observunces, LIe symboIIsm oI numbers und IeLLers.
TIus In my IrIend's musIcuI IubrIc u jite- Lo sIx-noLe serIes, begInnIng wILI B und endIng on E
IIuL, wILI u sIIILIng E und A beLween, Is Iound sLrIkIngIy oILen, u busIc IIgure oI pecuIIurIy
nosLuIgIc cIurucLer, wIIcI In dIIIerIng IurmonIc und rIyLImIc gurb, Is gIven now Lo LIIs purL now
Lo LIuL, oILen In ILs InversIon, us IL were Lurned on ILs uxIs, so LIuL wIIIe LIe InLervuIs remuIn LIe
sume, LIe sequence oI LIe noLes Is uILered. ¡L occurs uL IIrsL In LIe probubIy mosL beuuLIIuI oI LIe
LIIrLeen BrenLuno songs composed In ¡eIpzIg, LIe IeurL-pIercIng IIed: "D lieb Mcdel, uie
schlecht bist du," wIIcI Is permeuLed wILI IL; buL mosL purLIcuIurIy In LIe IuLe work, wIere
uuducILy und despuIr mIngIe In so unIque u wuy, LIe Wehellcç oj Dr. Icustus, wrILLen In
PIeIIIerIng, wIere LIe IncIInuLIon sIows even more sLrongIy Lo use LIose InLervuIs uIso In u
sImuILuneous-IurmonIc combInuLIon. TIe IeLLers composIng LIIs noLe-cIpIer ure: I, e, u, e, e-
IIuL: IeLueru esmeruIdu.¯
|¯ TIe EngIIsI ß Is represenLed In Germun by H.|
¯ ¯ ¯
AdrIun reLurned Lo ¡eIpzIg und expressed IImseII us enLerLuIned und IuII oI udmIruLIon Ior LIe
powerIuI und sLrIkIng operu Ie wus supposed Lo Iuve Ieurd u second LIme und possIbIy reuIIy
Iud. ¡ cun sLIII Ieur IIm suy ubouL LIe uuLIor oI IL: "WIuL u gIILed good IeIIow! TIe revoIuLIonury
us u SubbuLI-duy cIIId, perL und concilicnt. How uILer greuL expense oI uIIronLs und dIssonunces
everyLIIng Lurns InLo good nuLure, beer good nuLure, geLs uII buLLered up, so Lo speuk, uppeusIng
LIe pIIIIsLIne und LeIIIng IIm no Iurm wus meunL... BuL u IIL, u puIpubIe IIL!" ¡Ive weeks uILer Ie
Iud resumed IIs musIcuI und pIIIosopIIcuI sLudIes u IocuI uIIecLIon decIded IIm Lo consuIL u
pIysIcIun. TIe specIuIIsL, by nume Dr. ErusmI - AdrIun Iud cIosen IIm Irom LIe sLreeL dIrecLory
- wus u powerIuI mun, wILI u red Iuce und u poInLed bIuck beurd. ¡L obvIousIy mude IIm puII Lo
sLoop und even In un uprIgIL posLure Ie breuLIed In punLs wILI IIs IIps open. TIe IubIL IndIcuLed
oppressIon, buL IL uIso Iooked IIke conLempLuous IndIIIerence, us LIougI LIe mun wouId dIsmIss
or InLended Lo dIsmIss someLIIng by suyIng "PooI, pooI!" He puIIed IIke LIuL durIng LIe wIoIe
exumInuLIon, und LIen, In conLrudIcLIon Lo IIs pooI-pooIIng, decIured LIe necessILy Ior u
LIorougI und ruLIer IengLIy LreuLmenL, on wIIcI Ie uL once emburked. On LIree successIve duys
AdrIun wenL Lo IIm. TIen ErusmI urrunged u breuk oI LIree duys. AdrIun wus Lo come buck on
LIe IourLI. WIen LIe puLIenL - wIo wus noL uIIIng, IIs generuI sLuLe oI IeuILI beIng enLIreIy
unuIIecLed - reLurned uL Iour o'cIock on LIe uppoInLed duy, someLIIng uLLerIy unexpecLed und
sLurLIIng conIronLed IIm.
He Iud uIwuys Iud Lo rIng uL LIe door oI LIe upurLmenL, wIIcI wus up LIree sLeep IIIgILs oI
sLuIrs In u gIoomy buIIdIng In LIe oId cILy, und wuIL Ior u muId Lo open. BuL LIIs LIme Ie Iound
boLI ouLer und Inner doors open, LIuL Lo LIe wuILIng-room, LIe consuILIng-room, und IucIng IIm
u door InLo LIe IIvIng-room, LIe so-cuIIed "besL room" wILI Lwo wIndows. Yes, LIere LIe wIndows
were wIde open Loo, und uII Iour curLuIns bIew In und ouL In LIe druugIL. ¡n LIe mIddIe oI LIe
room Iuy Dr. ErusmI, wILI IIs beurd sLIckIng up, IIs eyes IusL sIuL, In u wIILe sIIrL wILI cuIIs,
IyIng on u LuILed cusIIon In un open coIIIn on Lwo LresLIes.
WIuL wus goIng on, wIy LIe deud mun Iuy LIere so uIone und open Lo LIe wInd, wIere LIe
muId und ¡ruu Dr. ErusmI were, wIeLIer perIups LIe peopIe Irom LIe underLukIng
esLubIIsImenL were wuILIng Lo screw on LIe IId, or were comIng buck uL once - uL wIuL sInguIur
momenL LIe vIsILor Iud been brougIL Lo LIe spoL, wus never mude cIeur. WIen ¡ cume Lo ¡eIpzIg,
AdrIun couId onIy descrIbe Lo me LIe bewIIdermenL In wIIcI Ie, uILer sLurIng Ior u momenL, Iud
gone down LIe sLuIrs uguIn. He seems noL Lo Iuve InquIred IurLIer InLo LIe docLor's sudden
deuLI, seems noL Lo Iuve been InLeresLed. He mereIy LIougIL LIuL LIe mun's consLunL puIIIng und
bIowIng Iud uIwuys been u bud sIgn.
WILI secreL repugnunce, sLruggIIng uguInsL unreusonIng Iorror, ¡ musL now reIuLe LIuL
AdrIun's second cIoIce uIso sLood under un unIucky sLur. He Look Lwo duys Lo recover Irom LIe
sIock. TIen Ie uguIn Iud recourse Lo LIe ¡eIpzIg dIrecLory, cIose unoLIer nume, und puL IImseII
In LIe cure oI u cerLuIn Dr. ZImbuIIsL, In one oI LIe busIness sLreeLs oII LIe MurkLpIuLz. On LIe
ground IIoor wus u resLuurunL, LIen u pIuno wureIouse; LIe docLor's Iouse occupIed purL oI LIe
upper sLorey, u porceIuIn sIIeId wILI IIs nume on IL beIng downsLuIrs In LIe Iobby. TIe
dermuLoIogIsL's Lwo wuILIng-rooms, one reserved Ior IemuIe puLIenLs, were udorned wILI growIng
pIunLs, puIms und Iouse Lrees In poLs. MedIcuI books und muguzInes Iuy ubouL, Ior InsLunce un
IIIusLruLed IIsLory oI moruIs, In LIe room wIere AdrIun Ior LIe IIrsL und LIe second LIme uwuILed
IIs LreuLmenL.
Dr. ZImbuIIsL wus u smuII mun wILI Iorn specLucIes, un ovuI buId spoL runnIng Irom LIe brow
Lo LIe buck oI LIe Ieud beLween Lwo growLIs oI reddIsI IuIr, und u mousLucIe IeIL growIng onIy
ImmedIuLeIy under LIe nosLrIIs, us wus LIen LIe IusIIon In LIe upper cIusses und wouId IuLer
become LIe uLLrIbuLe oI u worId-Iumous Iuce. HIs speecI wus sIovenIy und Ie IncIIned Lo bud
muscuIIne jokes. BuL one Iud noL LIe ImpressIon LIuL Ie IeIL very joIIy. One sIde oI IIs cIeek wus
druwn up In u sorL oI LIc, LIe corner oI LIe mouLI us weII, und LIe eye wInked In sympuLIy; LIe
wIoIe expressIon wus crubbed und cruven Lo u degree; Ie Iooked no-good, Ie Iooked odIous.
TIus AdrIun descrIbed IIm Lo me und LIus ¡ see IIm.
Now LIIs Is wIuL Iuppened: AdrIun Iud gone LwIce Ior LreuLmenL; Ie wenL u LIIrd LIme. As Ie
mounLed LIe sLuIrs Ie meL, beLween LIe IIrsL und second sLoreys, LIe pIysIcIun comIng down
beLween Lwo sLurdy men weurIng sLIII IuLs on LIe bucks oI LIeIr Ieuds. Dr. ZImbuIIsL's eyes were
cusL down IIke LIose oI u mun LukIng Ieed Lo IIs sLeps on LIe sLuIrs. One oI IIs wrIsLs wus IInked
wILI LIe wrIsL oI one oI IIs compunIons by u bruceIeL und IILLIe cIuIn. ¡ookIng up und
recognIzIng IIs puLIenL, Ie LwILcIed IIs cIeek sourIy, nodded uL IIm, und suId: "AnoLIer LIme!"
AdrIun, IIs buck Lo LIe wuII, dIsconcerLed, Iuced LIe LIree und IeL LIem puss; Iooked uILer LIem
uwIIIe us LIey descended und LIen IoIIowed LIem down. IIe suw LIem mounL u wuILIng cur und
drIve oII uL u IusL puce. TIus ended LIe conLInuuLIon oI AdrIun's cure by Dr. ZImbuIIsL, uILer ILs
eurIIer InLerrupLIon. ¡ musL udd LIuL Ie LroubIed IImseII us IILLIe ubouL LIe cIrcumsLunces oI IIs
second bud sIoL us ubouL LIe exLruordInury uLmospIere oI IIs IIrsL one. WIy ZImbuIIsL Iud been
Luken uwuy, und uL LIe very Iour Ior wIIcI un uppoInLmenL Iud been mude - Ie IeL LIuL resL. BuL
us LIougI IrIgILened oII, Ie never Look up LIe cure uguIn uILer LIuL und wenL Lo no oLIer docLor.
He dId so LIe Iess In LIuL LIe IocuI uIIecLIon IeuIed ILseII wILIouL IurLIer LreuLmenL und
dIsuppeured, und us ¡ cun conIIrm und wouId susLuIn uguInsL uny proIessIonuI doubLs, LIere were
no munIIesL secondury sympLoms. AdrIun suIIered once, In WendeII KreLscImur's IodgIngs,
wIere Ie Iud jusL presenLed some sLudIes In composILIon, u vIoIenL uLLuck oI gIddIness, wIIcI
mude IIm sLugger und Iorced IIm Lo IIe down. ¡L pussed InLo u Lwo duys' mIgruIne, wIIcI excepL
Ior ILs severILy wus noL dIIIerenL Irom oLIer eurIIer uLLucks oI LIe sume kInd. WIen ¡ cume buck Lo
¡eIpzIg, once more u cIvIIIun, ¡ Iound my IrIend uncIunged In IIs wuIks und wuys.

CHAPTIR XX
Or wus Ie? ¡I durIng our yeur oI sepuruLIon Ie Iud noL become u dIIIerenL person, uL IeusL Ie
wus now more deIInILeIy LIuL wIIcI Ie wus, und LIIs wus enougI Lo Impress me, especIuIIy sInce
¡ Iud probubIy u IILLIe IorgoLLen wIuL Ie Iud been. ¡ Iuve descrIbed LIe cooIness oI our purLIng In
HuIIe. Our reunIon, uL LIe LIougIL oI wIIcI ¡ Iud so rejoIced, wus noL IuckIng In LIe sume
quuIILy, so LIuL ¡, puL oII, boLI umused und dIsmuyed, Iud Lo swuIIow my IeeIIngs und suppress
wIuLever surged upwurds InLo my conscIousness. TIuL Ie wouId IeLcI me Irom LIe sLuLIon ¡ Iud
noL expecLed. ¡ Iud even noL IeL IIm know LIe Iour. ¡ sImpIy sougIL IIm ouL In IIs IodgIngs,
beIore ¡ Iud Iooked ouL uny Ior myseII. HIs IundIudy unnounced me, und ¡ enLered LIe room,
cuIIIng IIm In u Ioud und joyIuI sIouL.
He suL uL IIs desk, un oId-IusIIoned one wILI u roII Lop und cubIneL, wrILIng down noLes.
"HuIIo!" suId Ie, noL IookIng up. "JusL u mInuLe, we cun LuIk." And wenL on Ior some mInuLes
wILI IIs work, IeuvIng IL Lo me Lo remuIn sLundIng or Lo muke myseII comIorLubIe. TIe reuder
musL noL mIsInLerpreL LIIs, uny more LIun ¡ dId. ¡L wus evIdence oI oId-esLubIIsIed InLImucy, u
IIIe In common wIIcI couId noL be In LIe IeusL uIIecLed by u yeur's sepuruLIon. ¡L wus sImpIy us
LIougI we Iud purLed LIe duy beIore. Even so ¡ wus u IILLIe dusIed, II uL LIe sume LIme umused,
us LIe cIurucLerIsLIc does umuse us. ¡ Iud Iong sInce IeL myseII down In one oI LIe urmIess
upIoIsLered cIuIrs IIunkIng LIe book-LubIe, wIen Ie screwed LIe Lop on IIs IounLuIn-pen und
upproucIed me, wILIouL purLIcuIurIy IookIng me In LIe Iuce.
"You've come jusL uL LIe rIgIL LIme," Ie suId, und suL down on LIe oLIer sIde oI LIe LubIe. "TIe
ScIuII-GoscI quurLeL Is pIuyIng Op. 1¸z LonIgIL. You'II come uIong?"
¡ undersLood LIuL Ie meunL BeeLIoven's IuLe work, LIe A-mInor SLrIng QuurLeL.
"SInce ¡'m Iere," ¡ repIIed, "¡'II come wILI you. ¡L wIII be good Lo Ieur LIe ¡ydIun movemenL,
LIe 'TIunksgIvIng Ior Recovery'; ¡'ve noL Ieurd IL Ior u Iong LIme."
"TIuL beuker," Ie suId, "¡ druIn uL every IeusL. My eyes run over." And Ie begun Lo LuIk ubouL
LIe CIurcI modes und LIe PLoIemuIc or "nuLuruI" sysLem, wIose sIx dIIIerenL modes were re-
duced by LIe Lempered, I.e. LIe IuIse sysLem Lo Lwo, mujor und mInor; und ubouL superIorILy In
moduIuLIon oI LIe "pure" scuIe over LIe Lempered one. TIIs Ie cuIIed u compromIse Ior Iome
use, us uIso LIe Lempered pIuno wus u LIIng precIseIy Ior domesLIc consumpLIon, u LrunsIenL
peuce-pucL, noL u Iundred und IIILy yeurs oId, wIIcI Iud brougIL Lo puss uII sorLs oI consIderubIe
LIIngs, oI, very consIderubIe, buL ubouL wIIcI we sIouId noL ImugIne LIuL everyLIIng wus seLLIed
Ior eLernILy. He expressed greuL pIeusure over LIe IucL LIuL IL wus un usLronomer und
muLIemuLIcIun numed PLoIemy, u mun Irom Upper EgypL, IIvIng In AIexundrIu, wIo Iud
esLubIIsIed LIe besL oI uII known scuIes, LIe nuLuruI or rIgIL one. TIuL proved uguIn, Ie suId, LIe
reIuLIon beLween musIc und usLronomy, us IL Iud been sIown uIreudy by PyLIugorus' cosmIc
LIeory oI Iurmony. Now und LIen Ie cume buck Lo LIe quurLeL und ILs LIIrd movemenL, reIerrIng
Lo ILs sLrunge cIurucLer, ILs suggesLIon oI u moon-Iundscupe, und LIe enormous dIIIIcuILy oI
perIormIng IL.
"AL boLLom," suId Ie, "every one oI LIe Iour pIuyers Ius Lo be u PugunInI und wouId Iuve Lo
know noL onIy IIs own purL buL LIe LIree oLIers' us weII, eIse IL's no use. TIunk God, one cun
depend on LIe ScIuII-GoscI. Toduy IL cun be done, buL IL Is onIy jusL pIuyubIe, und In IIs LIme IL
wus sImpIy noL. TIe ruLIIess IndIIIerence oI one wIo Ius rIsen ubove IL Lowurds LIe sIeer eurLIIy
dIIIIcuILIes oI LecInIque Is Lo me LIe mosL coIossuIIy enLerLuInIng LIIng In IIIe. 'WIuL do ¡ cure
ubouL your dumned IIddIe?' Ie suId Lo somebody wIo compIuIned."
We IuugIed - und LIe odd LIIng wus, sImpIy LIuL we Iud never even suId Iow do you do.
"BesIdes," Ie suId, "LIere Is LIe IourLI movemenL, LIe IncompurubIe IInuIe, wILI LIe sIorL,
murcIIIke InLroducLIon und LIuL nobIe recILuLIve oI LIe IIrsL vIoIIn, wILI wIIcI us suILubIy us pos-
sIbIe LIe LIeme Is prepured. OnIy IL Is vexuLIous, II you don'L wunL Lo cuII IL gruLIIyIng, LIuL In
musIc, uL IeusL In LIIs musIc, LIere ure LIIngs Ior wIIcI one cunnoL scure up, ouL oI LIe wIoIe rIcI
reuIm oI Iunguuge, do wIuL you IIke, uny properIy cIurucLerIzIng epILIeL or combInuLIon oI
epILIeLs. ¡ Iuve been LormenLIng myseII over LIuL LIese duys: you cunnoL IInd uny udequuLe Lerm
Ior LIe spIrIL, LIe uLLILude, LIe beIuvIour oI LIIs LIeme. ¡or LIere Is u IoL oI beIuvIour LIere.
TrugIc? BoId? DeIIunL, empIuLIc, IuII oI eIun, LIe IeIgIL oI nobIIILy? None oI LIem good. And
'gIorIous' Is oI course onIy LIrowIng In your Iund. You IInuIIy Iund uL LIe objecLIve dIrecLIon, LIe
nume: Alleçro cppcssioncto. TIuL Is LIe besL uILer uII."
¡ ugreed. "PerIups," ¡ LIougIL, "LIIs evenIng we mIgIL LIInk oI someLIIng eIse."
"You musL see KreLscImur soon," IL occurred Lo IIm Lo suy. "WIere do you IIve?"
¡ LoId IIm ¡ wouId go Lo u IoLeI Ior LIe nIgIL und Iook ouL someLIIng suILubIe In LIe mornIng.
"¡ undersLund," Ie suId, "your noL uskIng me Lo IInd someLIIng. One cunnoL Ieuve IL Lo unyone
eIse. ¡ Iuve," Ie udded, "LoId LIe peopIe In CuIe CenLruI ubouL you und your urrIvuI. ¡ musL Luke
you LIere soon."
By LIe peopIe Ie meunL LIe group oI young InLeIIecLuuIs wIose ucquuInLunce Ie Iud mude
LIrougI KreLscImur. ¡ wus convInced LIuL IIs uLLILude Lowurds LIem wus very IIke wIuL IL Iud
been Lowurds LIe WInIrIed breLIren In HuIIe, und wIen ¡ suId IL wus good Lo Ieur LIuL Ie Iud
quIckIy Iound suILubIe conLucLs In ¡eIpzIg Ie unswered:
"WeII, conLucLs... "
ScIIIdknupp, LIe poeL und LrunsIuLor, Ie udded, wus LIe mosL suLIsIucLory. BuL even Ie Iud u
wuy, ouL oI u sorL oI noL precIseIy superIor seII-conIIdence, oI uIwuys reIusIng, us soon us Ie suw
unyone wunLed unyLIIng oI IIm or needed or LrIed Lo cIuIm IIm. A mun wILI u very sLrong - or
perIups on LIe oLIer Iund noL so sLrong - IeeIIng oI Independence, Ie suId. BuL sympuLIeLIc,
enLerLuInIng, und besIdes so sIorL oI money LIuL Ie IImseII Iud Lo IeIp ouL.
WIuL Ie Iud wunLed oI ScIIIdknupp, wIo us u LrunsIuLor IIved InLImuLeIy wILI LIe EngIIsI
Iunguuge und wus uILogeLIer u wurm udmIrer oI everyLIIng EngIIsI, emerged us we conLInued Lo
LuIk. ¡ Ieurned LIuL AdrIun wus IookIng Ior u LIeme Ior un operu und, yeurs beIore Ie serIousIy
upproucIed LIe Lusk, Iud Iud Lote's Lcbour's Lost In mInd. WIuL Ie wunLed oI ScIIIdknupp,
wIo wus musIcuIIy equIpped us weII, wus LIe prepuruLIon oI LIe IIbreLLo. BuL LIe oLIer, purLIy on
uccounL oI IIs own work, und purLIy, ¡ surmIse, becuuse AdrIun wouId IurdIy Iuve been ubIe Lo
puy IIm In udvunce, wouId noL Ieur Lo IL. WeII, IuLer ¡ myseII dId my IrIend LIIs servIce. ¡ IIke Lo
LIInk buck Lo our IIrsL gropIng LuIk ubouL IL, on LIIs very evenIng. And ¡ Iound my Ideu
conIIrmed: LIe Lendency Lo murrIuge wILI LIe word, Lo vocuI urLIcuIuLIon, more und more
possessed IIm. He wus prucLIsIng uImosL excIusIveIy LIe composILIon oI IIeder, sIorL und Iong
songs, even epIc IrugmenLs, LukIng IIs muLerIuI Irom u MedILerruneun unLIoIogy, wIIcI In u
IuIrIy Iuppy Germun versIon IncIuded ProvencuI und CuLuIun IyrIcs oI LIe LweIILI und LIIrLeenLI
cenLurIes, ¡LuIIun poeLry, LIe IoILIesL vIsIons oI LIe Ditinc Commedic, und some SpunIsI und
PorLuguese LIIngs. ¡L wus, uL LIuL musIcuI LIme oI duy und uL LIe young udepL's uge, uImosL
InevILubIe LIuL Iere und LIere LIe InIIuence oI GusLuv MuIIer sIouId be percepLIbIe. BuL LIen
wouId come u Lone, u mood, u gIImpse, u someLIIng Ione-wunderIng und unIque: IL sLood sLrunge
und IIrm on ILs own IeeL; und In sucI LIIngs we recognIze Loduy LIe musLer oI LIe groLesque
Vision oj the Apocclçpse.
TIIs wus cIeuresL In LIe songs oI LIe serIes Luken Irom LIe Purçctorio und LIe Pcrcdiso,
cIosen wILI u sIrewd sense oI LIeIr uIIInILy wILI musIc. TIus In LIe pIece wIIcI especIuIIy Look
me, und KreLscImur Loo Iud cuIIed very good, wIere LIe poeL In LIe IIgIL oI LIe pIuneL Venus
sees LIe smuIIer IIgILs - LIey ure LIe spIrILs oI LIe bIessed - some more quIckIy, LIe oLIers more
sIowIy, "uccordIng Lo LIe kInd oI LIeIr regurd oI God" druwIng LIeIr cIrcIes, und compures LIIs Lo
LIe spurks LIuL one dIsLInguIsIes In LIe IIume, LIe toices LIuL one dIsLInguIsIes In LIe song
"wIen LIe one LwInes round LIe oLIer." ¡ wus surprIsed und encIunLed uL LIe reproducLIon oI LIe
spurks In LIe IIre, oI LIe enLwInIng voIces. And sLIII ¡ dId noL know wIeLIer ¡ sIouId gIve LIe
preIerence Lo LIese IunLusIes on LIe IIgIL In IIgIL or Lo LIe InLrospecLIve, more-LIougIL-LIun-seen
pIeces - LIose wIere uII Is rejecLed quesLIonIng, wresLIIng wILI LIe unIuLIomubIe, wIere "doubL
sprIngs uL LIe IooL oI LruLI" und even LIe cIerub wIo Iooks InLo God's depLIs meusures noL LIe
guII oI LIe everIusLIng resoIve. AdrIun Iud Iere cIosen LIe IrIgILIuIIy sLern sequence oI verses
wIIcI speuk oI LIe condemnuLIon oI Innocence und Ignorunce, und IncompreIensIbIe jusLIce Is
quesLIoned wIIcI deIIvers over Lo IeII LIe good und pure buL noL bupLIzed, noL reucIed by IuILI.
He Iud persuuded IImseII Lo puL LIe LIunderIng response In Lones wIIcI unnounce LIe
powerIessness oI LIe creuLureIy good beIore Good In ILseII: LIe IuLLer, beIng ILseII LIe source oI
jusLIce, cunnoL gIve wuy beIore unyLIIng LIuL our Iumun undersLundIng Is LempLed Lo cuII unjusL.
TIIs rejecLIon oI LIe Iumun In Iuvour oI un unuLLuInubIe ubsoIuLe IoreordInuLIon ungered me.
And uILogeLIer, LIougI ¡ ucknowIedge DunLe's greuLness us u poeL, ¡ uIwuys IeeI puL oII by IIs
Lendency Lo crueILy und scenes oI murLyrdom. ¡ recuII LIuL ¡ scoIded AdrIun Ior cIoosIng LIIs
uImosL InLoIerubIe pussuge us IIs LIeme. ¡L wus LIen LIuL ¡ meL u Iook Irom IIs eye wIIcI ¡ Iud
noL seen beIore; IL Iud mude me quesLIon wIeLIer ¡ wus quILe rIgIL In usserLIng LIuL ¡ Iound IIm
uncIunged uILer our yeur's sepuruLIon. TIIs Iook wus someLIIng new, und IL remuIned pecuIIur Lo
IIm, even LIougI one encounLered IL onIy Irom LIme Lo LIme und Indeed wILIouL especIuI
occusIon. MuLe, veIIed, musIng, uIooI Lo LIe poInL oI oIIensIveness, IuII oI u cIIIIIng meIuncIoIy, IL
ended In u smIIe wILI cIosed IIps, noL unIrIendIy, yeL mockIng, und wILI LIuL gesLure oI LurnIng
uwuy, so IubILuuI, so Iong IumIIIur Lo me.
TIe ImpressIon wus puInIuI und, InLenLIonuI or noL, IL wounded. BuL ¡ quIckIy Iorguve IIm us
we wenL on, und ¡ Ieurd LIe movIng musIcuI dIcLIon gIven Lo LIe purubIe In LIe Purçctorio oI LIe
mun wIo currIes u IIgIL on IIs buck uL nIgIL, wIIcI does noL IIgIL IIm buL IIgILs up LIe puLI oI
LIose comIng uILer. TIe Leurs cume In my eyes. ¡ wus sLIII IuppIer over LIe uILogeLIer successIuI
sIupIng oI LIe uddress, onIy nIne IInes Iong, oI LIe poeL Lo IIs uIIegorIcuI song, wIIcI speuks so
durkIy und dIIIIcuILIy, wILI no prospecL oI ILs IIdden sense beIng undersLunded oI LIe worId.
TIus, ILs creuLor Iuys upon IL, muy IL ImpIore percepLIon II noL oI ILs depLI uL IeusL oI ILs beuuLy.
"So Iook uL IeusL, Iow beuuLIIuI ¡ um!" TIe wuy LIe musIc sLrIves upwurd ouL oI LIe dIIIIcuILIes,
LIe urLIuI conIusIon, LIe mIngIed dIsLresses oI ILs IIrsL purL Lo LIe Lender IIgIL oI LIe IInuI cry und
LIere Is LoucIIngIy resoIved - uII LIuL ¡ sLruIgILwuy Iound udmIrubIe und dId noL IIde my
deIIgILed upprobuLIon.
"So mucI LIe beLLer II IL Is good Ior someLIIng uIreudy," suId Ie. ¡n IuLer LuIks IL becume cIeur
wIuL Ie meunL by "uIreudy." TIe word Iud noL Lo do wILI IIs youLI; Ie meunL LIuL Ie regurded
LIe composILIon oI LIe songs, Iowever mucI devoLIon Ie guve Lo LIe sIngIe Lusk, on LIe wIoIe
onIy us prucLIce Ior u compIeLe work In words und musIc wIIcI Iovered beIore IIs mInd's eye,
LIe LexL oI wIIcI wus Lo be LIe SIukespeure comedy. He wenL ubouL LIeoreLIcuIIy Lo gIorIIy LIIs
bond wILI LIe word, wIIcI Ie wouId puL In prucLIce. MusIc und speecI, Ie InsIsLed, beIonged
LogeLIer, LIey were uL boLLom one, Iunguuge wus musIc, musIc u Iunguuge; sepuruLe, one uIwuys
uppeuIed Lo LIe oLIer, ImILuLed LIe oLIer, used LIe oLIer's LooIs, uIwuys LIe one guve ILseII Lo be
undersLood us subsLILuLe oI LIe oLIer. How musIc couId be IIrsL oI uII word, be LIougIL und
pIunned us word, Ie wouId demonsLruLe Lo me by LIe IucL LIuL BeeLIoven Iud been seen
composIng In words. "WIuL Is Ie wrILIng LIere In IIs noLebook?" IL Iud been usked. "He Is com-
posIng." "BuL Ie Is wrILIng words, noL noLes." Yes, LIuL wus u wuy Ie Iud. He usuuIIy skeLcIed In
words LIe course oI Ideus In u composILIon, uL mosL puLLIng In u Iew noLes Iere und LIere. -
AdrIun dweIL upon LIIs, IL vIsIbIy cIurmed IIm. TIe creuLIve LIougIL, Ie suId, probubIy Iormed
ILs own und unIque InLeIIecLuuI cuLegory, buL LIe IIrsL druIL IurdIy ever umounLed Lo u pIcLure, u
sLuLue In words - wIIcI spoke Ior LIe IucL LIuL musIc und speecI beIonged LogeLIer. ¡L wus very
nuLuruI LIuL musIc sIouId Luke IIre uL LIe word, LIuL LIe word sIouId bursL IorLI ouL oI musIc, us
IL dId Lowurds LIe end oI LIe NInLI SympIony. ¡InuIIy IL wus u IucL LIuL LIe wIoIe deveIopmenL
oI musIc In Germuny sLrove Lowurds LIe word-Lone drumu oI Wugner und LIereIn Iound ILs gouI.
"One gouI," suId ¡, reIerrIng Lo BruIms und Lo LIe ubsoIuLe musIc In LIe "IIgIL on IIs buck." He
ugreed Lo LIe quuIIIIcuLIon, LIe more eusIIy becuuse wIuL Ie Iud vugueIy In mInd wus us un-
WugnerIun us possIbIe, und mosL remoLe Irom nuLure-duemony und LIe LIeuLrIcuI quuIILy oI LIe
myLI: u revIvuI oI operu bouIIe In u spIrIL oI LIe mosL urLIIIcIuI mockery und purody oI LIe
urLIIIcIuI: someLIIng IIgIIy pIuyIuI und IIgIIy precIous; ILs uIm LIe rIdIcuIe oI uIIecLed usceLIcIsm
und LIuL eupIuIsm wIIcI wus LIe socIuI IruIL oI cIussIcuI sLudIes. He spoke wILI enLIusIusm oI
LIe LIeme, wIIcI guve opporLunILy Lo seL LIe IouL und "nuLuruI" uIongsIde LIe comIc subIIme und
muke boLI rIdIcuIous In eucI oLIer. ArcIuIc IeroIcs, rodomonLude, bombusLIc eLIqueLLe Lower
ouL oI IorgoLLen epocIs In LIe person oI Don Armudo, wIom AdrIun rIgILIy pronounced u
consummuLe IIgure oI operu. And Ie quoLed verses Lo me In EngIIsI, wIIcI obvIousIy Ie Iud
Luken Lo IIs IeurL: LIe despuIr oI LIe wILLy BIron uL IIs perjured Iove oI Ier wIo Iud Lwo pILcI-
buIIs sLuck In Ier Iuce Ior eyes; IIs IuvIng Lo sIgI und wuLcI Ior "by Ieuven one LIuL wIII do LIe
deed, LIougI Argus were Ier eunucI und Ier guurd." TIen LIe judgmenL upon LIIs very BIron:
"You sIuII LIIs LweIvemonLI Lerm Irom duy Lo duy VIsIL LIe speecIIess sIck, und sLIII converse
WILI grounIng wreLcIes"; und IIs cry: "¡L cunnoL be: mIrLI cunnoL move u souI In ugony!" He
repeuLed LIe pussuge und decIured LIuL some duy Ie wouId cerLuInIy compose IL, uIso LIe
IncompurubIe LuIk In LIe IIILI ucL ubouL LIe IoIIy oI LIe wIse, LIe IeIpIess, bIInded, IumIIIuLIng
mIsuse oI wIL Lo udorn LIe IooI's cup oI pussIon. SucI uLLerunce, Ie suId, us LIuL oI LIe Lwo IInes:
TIe bIood oI youLI burns noL wILI sucI excess
As gruvILy's revoIL Lo wunLonness IIourIsIes onIy on LIe IeIgILs oI poeLIc genIus.
¡ rejoIced uL LIIs udmIruLIon, LIIs Iove, even LIougI LIe cIoIce oI muLLer wus noL quILe Lo my
LusLe. ¡ Iuve uIwuys been ruLIer unIuppy uL uny mockery oI IumunIsLIc exLruvugunces; IL ends by
mukIng IumunIsm ILseII u subjecL Ior mIrLI. WIIcI dId noL prevenL me Irom prepurIng LIe
IIbreLLo Ior IIm wIen Ie wus reudy.
WIuL ¡ uL once LrIed my besL Lo dIssuude IIm Irom wus IIs sLrunge und uLLerIy ImprucLIcuI Ideu
oI composIng LIe comedy In EngIIsI, becuuse Ie Iound LIuL LIe onIy rIgIL, dIgnIIIed, uuLIenLIc
LIIng; uIso becuuse IL seemed IndIcuLed, on uccounL oI LIe pIuys on words und LIe oId EngIIsI
verse wILI doggereI rIyme. TIe very ImporLunL objecLIon, LIuL u LexL In u IoreIgn Iunguuge wouId
desLroy every prospecL oI ILs uppeurunce on u Germun sLuge, Ie dId noL consIder, becuuse Ie
uILogeLIer decIIned Lo ImugIne u conLemporury pubIIc Ior IIs excIusIve, eccenLrIc, IunLusLIc
dreums. ¡L wus u buroque Ideu, buL rooLed deep In IIs nuLure, combIned us LIuL wus oI IuugILy
sIyness, LIe oId-Germun provIncIuIIsm oI KuIsersuscIern, und un ouL-und-ouL cosmopoIILunIsm.
NoL Ior noLIIng wus Ie u son oI LIe Lown wIere OLLo ¡¡¡ Iuy burIed. HIs dIsIIke oI IIs own very
Germunness (IL wus LIuL, Indeed, wIIcI drew IIm Lo LIe AngIIcIsL und AngIomunIuc
ScIIIdknupp) Look LIe Lwo dIspuruLe Iorms oI u cocoonIIke wILIdruwuI Irom LIe worId und un
Inwurd need oI worId-wIdeness. TIese IL wus mude IIm InsIsL on expecLIng u Germun concerL
uudIence Lo IIsLen Lo songs In u IoreIgn Iunguuge - or, more reuIIsLIcuIIy puL, on prevenLIng LIeIr
IeurIng LIem. ¡n IucL, Ie produced durIng my ¡eIpzIg yeur composILIons on poems by VerIuIne
und LIe beIoved WIIIIum BIuke, wIIcI were noL sung Ior decudes. TIe VerIuIne ones ¡ Ieurd IuLer
In SwILzerIund. One oI LIem Is LIe wonderIuI poem wILI LIe cIosIng IIne: "Cest l'heure exquise",
unoLIer LIe equuIIy encIunLIng "Chcnson d'Automne", u LIIrd LIe IunLusLIcuIIy meIuncIoIy, pre-
posLerousIy meIodIous LIree-sLunzu poem LIuL begIns wILI LIe IInes: "Un çrcnd sommeil noir
Tombe sur mc tie." TIen u coupIe oI mud und dIssoIuLe pIeces Irom LIe "Ietes çclcntes: "Hel
ßonsoir, lc Lunel" und ubove uII LIe mucubre proposuI, unswered wILI gIggIes: "Mourons
ensemble, toulez-tous?" - As Ior BIuke's exLruordInury poesy, Ie seL Lo musIc LIe sLunzus ubouL
LIe rose, wIose IIIe wus desLroyed by LIe durk secreL Iove oI LIe worm wIIcI Iound ILs wuy InLo
Ier crImson bed. TIen LIe uncunny sIxLeen IInes oI "A PoIson Tree," wIere LIe poeL wuLers IIs
wruLI wILI IIs Leurs, suns IL wILI smIIes und soIL deceILIuI wIIes, so LIuL un uIIurIng uppIe rIpens,
wILI wIIcI LIe LIIevIsI IrIend poIsons IImseII: Lo LIe IuLer's joy Ie IIes deud In LIe mornIng
beneuLI LIe Lree. TIe evII sImpIIcILy oI LIe verse wus compIeLeIy reproduced In LIe musIc. BuL ¡
wus even more proIoundIy Impressed uL LIe IIrsL IeurIng by u song Lo words by BIuke, u dreum oI
u cIupeI uII oI goId beIore wIIcI sLund peopIe weepIng, mournIng, worsIIppIng, noL durIng Lo
enLer In. TIere rIses LIe IIgure oI u serpenL wIo knows Iow by Iorce und Iorce und Iorce Lo muke
un enLry InLo LIe sIrIne; LIe sIImy IengLI oI ILs body IL drugs uIong LIe cosLIy IIoor und guIns LIe
uILur, wIere IL vomILs ILs poIson ouL on LIe breud und on LIe wIne. "So," ends LIe poeL, wILI
desperuLe IogIc, LIereIore und LIereupon, "¡ Lurned InLo u sLy und IuId me down umong LIe
swIne." TIe dreum unguIsI oI LIe vIsIon, LIe growIng Lerror, LIe Iorror oI poIIuLIon, IInuIIy LIe
wIId renuncIuLIon oI u IumunILy dIsIonoured by LIe sIgIL - uII LIIs wus reproduced wILI
usLonIsIIng power In AdrIun's seLLIng.
BuL LIese ure IuLer LIIngs, LIougI uII oI LIem beIong Lo ¡everküIn's ¡eIpzIg yeurs. On LIuL
evenIng, LIen, uILer my urrIvuI we Ieurd LIe ScIuII-GoscI concerL LogeLIer und nexL duy vIsILed
WendeII KreLscImur, wIo spoke Lo me prIvuLeIy ubouL AdrIun's progress In u wuy LIuL mude me
proud und gIud. NoLIIng, Ie suId, dId Ie Ieur Iess, LIun ever Lo Iuve Lo regreL IIs summons Lo u
musIcuI cureer. A mun so seII-ussured, so IusLIdIous In muLLers oI LusLe und "pIeusIng LIe pubIIc,"
wouId oI course Iuve dIIIIcuILIes, ouLwurdIy us weII us InwurdIy; buL LIuL wus quILe rIgIL, In sucI
u cuse, sInce onIy urL couId gIve body Lo u IIIe wIIcI oLIerwIse wouId bore ILseII Lo deuLI wILI ILs
own IucIIILy. - ¡ enroIIed myseII wILI ¡uuLensuck und LIe Iumous BermeLer, gIud LIuL ¡ need noL
Ieur uny more LIeoIogy Ior AdrIun's suke; und uIIowed myseII Lo be InLroduced Lo LIe cIrcIe uL
CuIe CenLruI, u sorL oI boIemIun cIub, wIIcI Iud pre-empLed u smoky den In LIe Luvern, wIere
LIe members reud LIe pupers uILernoons, pIuyed cIess, und dIscussed cuILuruI evenLs. TIey were
sLudenLs Irom LIe conservuLoIres, puInLers, wrILers, young pubIIsIers, uIso begInnIng Iuwyers
wILI un InLeresL In LIe urLs, u Iew ucLors, members oI LIe ¡eIpzIg KummerspIeIe, under sLrong
IILerury InIIuence - und so on. RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, LIe LrunsIuLor, consIderubIy oIder LIun we
were, uL LIe begInnIng oI LIe LIIrLIes, beIonged, us ¡ Iuve suId, Lo LIIs group. As Ie wus LIe onIy
one wILI wIom AdrIun sLood on Lerms oI uny InLImucy, ¡ Loo upproucIed IIm, und spenL muny
Iours wILI LIem boLI LogeLIer. TIuL ¡ Iud u crILIcuI eye on LIe mun wIom AdrIun dIgnIIIed wILI
IIs IrIendsIIp wIII, ¡ Ieur, be evIdenL In LIe presenL skeLcI oI IIs personuIILy, LIougI ¡ wIII
endeuvour, us ¡ uIwuys Iuve endeuvoured, Lo do IIm jusLIce.
ScIIIdknupp wus born In u mIddIe-sIzed Lown In SIIesIu, LIe son oI u posL-oIIIce oIIIcIuI wIose
posILIon eIevuLed IIm ubove LIe Iower runks wILIouL IeudIng Lo LIe IIgIer udmInIsLruLIve posLs
reserved Ior men wILI unIversILy degrees. SucI u posILIon requIres no cerLIIIcuLe or jurIsLIc
LruInIng; IL Is urrIved uL uILer u Lerm oI yeurs oI preIImInury servIce by pussIng LIe exumInuLIons
Ior secreLury In cIIeI. SucI Iud been LIe cureer oI LIe eIder ScIIIdknupp. He wus u mun oI proper
upbrIngIng und good Iorm, uIso socIuIIy umbILIous; buL LIe PrussIun IIerurcIy eILIer sIuL IIm
ouL oI LIe upper cIrcIes oI LIe Lown or, II LIey dId by excepLIon udmIL IIm, guve IIm Lo LusLe
IumIIIuLIon LIere. TIus Ie quurreIIed wILI IIs IoL und wus un uggrIeved mun, u grumbIer, vIsILIng
IIs unsuccessIuI cureer on IIs own IumIIy's Ieud. RüdIger, IIs son. porLruyed Lo us very vIvIdIy,
IIIIuI respecL gIvIng wuy beIore u sense oI LIe rIdIcuIous, Iow LIe IuLIer's socIuI embILLermenL
Iud poIsoned IIs own, IIs moLIer's und IIs broLIers' und sIsLers' IIves; LIe more becuuse IL
expressed ILseII, In uccordunce wILI LIe mun's reIInemenL, noL In gross unpIeusunLness buL us u
IIner cupucILy Ior suIIerIng, und un exuggeruLed seII-pILy. He mIgIL come Lo LIe LubIe und bILe
vIoIenLIy on u cIerry-sLone In LIe IruIL soup, breukIng u crown on one oI IIs LeeLI. "Yes, you see,"
Ie wouId suy, IIs voIce LrembIIng, sLreLcIIng ouL IIs Iunds, "LIuL Is Iow IL Is, LIuL's wIuL Iuppens
Lo me, LIuL Is LIe wuy ¡ um, IL Is In myseII, IL Ius Lo be IIke LIIs! ¡ Iud Iooked Iorwurd Lo LIIs meuI,
und IeIL some uppeLILe; IL Is u wurm duy und LIe coId IruIL dIsI Iud promIsed me some
reIresImenL. TIen LIIs Ius Lo Iuppen. Good, you cun see LIuL joy Is noL my porLIon. ¡ gIve IL up. ¡
wIII go buck Lo my room. ¡ Iope you wIII enjoy IL," Ie wouId IInIsI In u dyIng voIce, und quIL LIe
LubIe, weII knowIng LIuL joy wouId cerLuInIy noL be LIeIr porLIon eILIer.
TIe reuder cun pIcLure AdrIun's mIrLI uL LIe droIIy dejecLed reproducLIon oI scenes
experIenced wILI youLIIuI InLensILy. OI course we Iud uIwuys Lo cIeck our merrImenL und
remember LIuL LIIs Avus LIe nurruLor's IuLIer we were deuIIng wILI. RüdIger ussured us LIuL LIe
eIder's IeeIIng oI socIuI InIerIorILy Iud communIcuLed ILseII Lo LIem uII In greuLer or Iess degree:
Ie IImseII Iud Luken IL wILI IIm, u sorL oI spIrILuuI wound, Irom IIs purenLs' Iouse. AppurenLIy
IIs IrrILuLIon over IL wus one oI LIe reusons wIy Ie wouId noL gIve IIs IuLIer LIe suLIsIucLIon oI
wIpIng ouL LIe sLuIn In LIe person oI IIs son, Ior Ie Iud IrusLruLed LIe eIder's Iope oI seeIng LIe
younger u member oI governmenL. RüdIger Iud IInIsIed uL LIe gymnusIum und gone Lo LIe
unIversILy. BuL Ie Iud noL even goL so Iur us un ussessorsIIp, devoLIng IImseII Lo IILeruLure
InsLeud, und preIerrIng Lo IorIeIL uny ussIsLunce Irom Iome ruLIer LIun Lo suLIsIy LIe IuLIer's
obnoxIous wIsIes. He wroLe poems In Iree verse, crILIcuI essuys und sIorL sLorIes In u neuL prose
sLyIe. BuL purLIy under economIc pressure, purLIy uIso becuuse IIs own producLIon wus noL
exucLIy copIous, Ie devoLed mosL oI IIs LIme Lo LrunsIuLIon, cIIeIIy Irom IIs IuvourILe Iunguuge,
EngIIsI. He noL onIy suppIIed severuI pubIIsIers wILI Germun versIons oI EngIIsI und AmerIcun
IILerury provender, buL uIso goL IImseII commIssIoned by u MunIcI pubIIsIer oI de Iuxe edILIons
und IILerury curIosILIes Lo LrunsIuLe EngIIsI cIussIcs, SkeILon's drumuLIc moruIILIes, some pIeces oI
¡IeLcIer und WebsLer, cerLuIn dIducLIc poems oI Pope; und Ie wus responsIbIe Ior exceIIenL
Germun edILIons oI SwIIL und RIcIurdson. He suppIIed LIIs sorL oI producL wILI weII-Iound
preIuces, und conLrIbuLed Lo IIs LrunsIuLIons u greuL deuI oI conscIenLIousness, LusLe, und IeeIIng
Ior sLyIe, IIkewIse u preoccupuLIon wILI LIe exucLness oI LIe reproducLIon, muLcIIng pIruse Ior
pIruse und IuIIIng more und more vIcLIm Lo LIe cIurms und penuILIes oI LrunsIuLIon. BuL IIs work
wus uccompunIed by u menLuI sLuLe wIIcI on unoLIer pIune resembIed IIs IuLIer's. He IeIL
IImseII Lo be u born wrILer, und spoke bILLerIy oI beIng drIven by necessILy Lo LIII unoLIer's IIeId,
weurIng IImseII ouL on work wIIcI onIy dIsLInguIsIed IIm In u wuy Ie Iound InsuILIng. He
wunLed Lo be u poeL, In IIs own esLImuLIon Ie wus one; LIuL on uccounL oI IIs LIresome duIIy
breud Ie Iud Lo sInk Lo u mIddIemun's posILIon In IILeruLure puL IIm In u crILIcuI und deroguLory
Irume Lowurds LIe conLrIbuLIons oI oLIers und wus LIe subjecL oI IIs duIIy pIuInL. "¡I onIy ¡ Iud
LIme," Ie used Lo suy, "II ¡ couId work InsLeud oI drudgIng, ¡ wouId sIow LIem!" AdrIun wus
IncIIned Lo beIIeve IL, buL ¡, perIups judgIng Loo IursIIy, suspecLed LIuL wIuL Ie consIdered un
obsLucIe wus reuIIy u weIcome preLexL wILI wIIcI Ie deceIved IImseII over IIs Iuck oI u genuIne
und LeIIIng creuLIve ImpuIse.
WILI uII LIIs, one musL noL ImugIne IIm us morose or suIIen; on LIe conLrury Ie wus very joIIy,
even ruLIer IeuLIer-Ieuded, gIILed wILI u deIInILeIy AngIo-Suxon sense oI Iumour und In cIur-
ucLer jusL LIuL wIIcI LIe EngIIsI cuII boyIsI. He wus uIwuys ImmedIuLeIy ucquuInLed wILI uII LIe
sons oI AIbIon wIo cume Lo ¡eIpzIg us LourIsLs, IdIers, musIc-sLudenLs; LuIked wILI LIem wILI
compIeLe eIecLIve udupLuLIon oI IIs speecI Lo LIeIrs, cIuLLerIng nonsense LIIrLeen Lo LIe dozen
und ImILuLIng IrresIsLIbIy LIeIr sLruggIes In Germun, LIeIr uccenLs, LIeIr uII Loo correcL mIsLukes
In ordInury everyduy excIunge, LIeIr IoreIgn weukness Ior LIe wrILLen Iunguuge: us Ior InsLunce
ßesichtiçen Sie jenesl wIen uII LIey meunL wus: Sehen Sie dcsl And Ie Iooked jusL IIke LIem. ¡
Iuve noL yeL menLIoned IIs uppeurunce: IL wus very good, und - upurL Irom LIe cIoLIes, sIubby
und uIwuys LIe sume, Lo wIIcI IIs poverLy condemned IIm - eIegunL und genLIemunIy, und
ruLIer sporLIng. HIs IeuLures were sLrIkIng, LIeIr urIsLocruLIc cIurucLer murred onIy by u soIL,
Ioose-IIpped mouLI sucI us ¡ Iuve oILen noLIced umong SIIesIuns. TuII, broud-sIouIdered, Iong-
Iegged, nurrow-IIpped, Ie wore duy In, duy ouL LIe sume cIecked breecIes, LIe worse Ior weur,
Iong wooIIen sLockIngs, sLouL yeIIow sIoes, u course IInen sIIrL open uL LIe LIrouL, und over IL u
juckeL oI u coIour uIreudy vugue, wILI sIeeves LIuL were u IILLIe sIorL. BuL IIs Iunds were very
urIsLocruLIc, wILI Iong IIngers und beuuLIIuIIy sIuped, ovuI, rounded nuIIs. TIe wIoIe wus so
undenIubIy "porLruIL oI u genLIemun" LIuL In IIs everyduy cIoLIes, In LIemseIves un oIIense Lo
socIeLy, Ie couId IrequenL cIrcIes wIere evenIng dress wus LIe ruIe. TIe women preIerred IIm
jusL us Ie wus Lo IIs rIvuIs In correcL bIuck und wIILe, und uL sucI recepLIons Ie mIgIL be seen
surrounded by unuIIecLedIy udmIrIng IemInInILy.
And yeL! And uguIn! HIs needç exLerIor, excused by LIe LIresome wunL oI money, couId noL
uIIecL udverseIy IIs runk us cuvuIIer und genLIemun or prevenL LIe nuLIve LruLI Irom sIowIng
LIrougI und counLerucLIng IL. BuL LIIs very "LruLI" wus ILseII In purL u decepLIon, und In LIIs
compIIcuLed sense ScIIIdknupp wus u Iruud. He Iooked IIke un uLIIeLe, buL IIs Iooks were
mIsIeudIng, Ior Ie prucLIsed no sporL, excepL u IILLIe skIIng wILI IIs EngIIsI IrIends In wInLer In
LIe Suxon AIps; und Ie wus subjecL Lo u cuLurrI oI LIe bIudder, wIIcI In my opInIon wus noL
quILe negIIgIbIe. DespILe IIs Lunned Iuce und broud sIouIders IIs IeuILI wus noL uIwuys sound
und us u younger mun Ie Iud spIL bIood; In oLIer words, Lended Lo be LubercuIur. TIe women
were noL quILe so Iucky wILI IIm us Ie wus wILI LIem, so Iur us ¡ suw; uL IeusL noL IndIvIduuIIy,
Ior coIIecLIveIy LIey enjoyed IIs enLIre devoLIon. ¡L wus u rovIng, uII-embrucIng devoLIon, IL
reIerred Lo LIe sex us sucI, und LIe possIbIIILIes Ior IuppIness presenLed Lo IIm by LIe enLIre
worId; Ior LIe sIngIe InsLunce Iound IIm InucLIve, IruguI, reserved. TIuL Ie couId Iuve us muny
Iove-uIIuIrs us Ie cIose seemed Lo suLIsIy IIm, IL wus us LIougI Ie sIrunk Irom every connecLIon
wILI LIe ucLuuI becuuse Ie suw LIereIn u LIeIL Irom LIe possIbIe. TIe poLenLIuI wus IIs kIngdom,
ILs endIess spuces IIs domuIn- LIereIn und LIus Iur Ie wus reuIIy u poeL. He Iud concIuded Irom
IIs nume LIuL IIs Iorebeurs Iud been gIunL uLLendunLs on knIgILs und prInces, und uILIougI Ie
Iud never suL u Iorse, nor ever LrIed Lo do so, Ie IeIL IImseII u born Iorsemun. He uscrIbed IL Lo
uLuvIsLIc memory, u bIood IerILuge, LIuL Ie very oILen dreumed oI rIdIng; Ie wus uncommonIy
convIncIng wIen Ie sIowed us Iow nuLuruI IL wus Ior IIm Lo IoId LIe reIns In LIe IeIL Iund und
puL LIe Iorse's neck wILI LIe rIgIL.- TIe mosL common pIruse In IIs mouLI wus "One ougIL Lo."
¡L wus LIe IormuIu Ior u wIsLIuI reIIecLIon upon possIbIIILIes Ior LIe IuIIIImenL oI wIIcI LIe
resoIve wus IuckIng. One ougIL Lo do - LIIs und LIuL, Iuve LIIs or LIuL. One ougIL Lo wrILe u
noveI ubouL ¡eIpzIg socIeLy: one ougIL, II even us u dIsI-wusIer, Lo Luke u LrIp round LIe worId;
one ougIL Lo sLudy pIysIcs, usLronomy; one ougIL Lo ucquIre u IILLIe Iund und cuILIvuLe LIe soII In
LIe sweuL oI one's brow. ¡I we wenL InLo u grocery Lo Iuve some coIIee ground, Ie wus cupubIe oI
suyIng wIen we cume ouL, wILI u conLempIuLIve Ieud-sIuke: "One ougIL Lo keep u grocery."
¡ Iuve reIerred Lo IIs IeeIIng oI Independence. ¡L Iud expressed ILseII eurIy, In IIs rejecLIon oI
governmenL servIce und cIoIce oI u Iree-Iunce IIIe. YeL Ie wus on LIe oLIer Iund LIe servunL oI
muny genLIemen und Iud someLIIng oI LIe purusILe ubouL IIm. And wIy sIouId Ie noL, wILI IIs
nurrow meuns, muke use oI IIs good exLerIor und socIuI popuIurILy? He goL IImseII InvILed ouL u
good deuI, uLe IuncIeon Iere und LIere In ¡eIpzIg Iouses, even In rIcI JewIsI ones, LIougI one
mIgIL Ieur IIm drop unLI-SemILIc remurks. PeopIe wIo IeeI sIIgILed, noL LreuLed uccordIng Lo
LIeIr deserLs, yeL rejoIce In un urIsLocruLIc pIysIque, oILen seek suLIsIucLIon In rucIuI seII-
usserLIon. TIe specIuI LIIng In IIs cuse wus LIuL Ie dId noL IIke LIe Germuns eILIer, wus suLuruLed
wILI LIeIr socIuI und nuLIonuI sense oI InIerIorILy und expressed IL by suyIng LIuL Ie wouId jusL us
soon or sooner sLIck wILI LIe Jews. On LIeIr sIde, LIe JewIsI pubIIsIers' wIves und bunkers'
IudIes Iooked up Lo IIm wILI LIe proIound udmIruLIon oI LIeIr ruce Ior Germun musLer-bIood und
Iong Iegs und greuLIy enjoyed mukIng IIm presenLs: LIe knILLed sLockIngs, beILs, sweuLers, und
scurves wIIcI Ie wore were mosLIy gIILs, und noL uIwuys quILe unprompLed. WIen Ie wenL
sIoppIng wILI u Iudy Ie mIgIL poInL Lo someLIIng und suy: "WeII, ¡ wouId noL spend uny money
on LIuL. AL mosL ¡ wouId Luke IL Ior u gIIL." And Look IL Ior u gIIL, wILI LIe beurIng oI one wIo Iud
cerLuInIy suId Ie wouId noL gIve money Ior IL. ¡or LIe resL, Ie usserLed IIs Independence Lo
IImseII und oLIers by LIe IundumenLuI reIusuI Lo be obIIgIng: wIen one needed IIm, Ie wus deII-
nILeIy noL Lo be Iud. ¡I u pIuce wus vucunL uL dInner und Ie wus usked Lo IIII In, Ie unIuIIIngIy
decIIned. ¡I somebody wIsIed Lo ussure IImseII oI un ugreeubIe compunIon Ior u prescrIbed
sojourn uL u cure, ScIIIdknupp's reIusuI wus LIe more cerLuIn LIe cIeurer IL wus LIuL LIe oLIer seL
sLore by IIs compuny. ¡L wus LIus Ie Iud rejecLed AdrIun's proposuI LIuL Ie muke LIe IIbreLLo Ior
Lote's Lcbour's Lost. YeL Ie wus Iond oI AdrIun, Ie wus reuIIy uLLucIed Lo IIm, und AdrIun dId
noL Luke IL III LIuL Ie reIused. He wus uILogeLIer very LoIerunL oI ScIIIdknupp's weuknesses, over
wIIcI LIe mun IImseII IuugIed; und mucI Loo gruLeIuI Ior IIs sympuLIeLIc LuIk, IIs sLorIes ubouL
IIs IuLIer, IIs EngIIsI wIImsIes, Lo Iuve wIsIed Lo beur IIm u grudge. ¡ Iuve never seen AdrIun
IuugI so mucI, IuugI even Lo Leurs, us wIen Ie und RüdIger ScIIIdknupp were LogeLIer. A Lrue
IumorIsL, LIe IuLLer knew Iow Lo druw u momenLurIIy overwIeImIng I unnIness Irom LIe mosL
unIIkeIy LIIngs. ¡L Is u IucL LIuL LIe cIewIng oI u dry rusk IIIIs LIe eurs oI LIe cIewer wILI u
deuIenIng cruncI, sIuLLIng IIm uwuy Irom LIe ouLer worId; und ScIIIdknupp demonsLruLed uL
Leu LIuL u rusk-cIewIng compuny couId noL possIbIy undersLund eucI oLIer und wouId Iuve Lo
conIIne LIemseIves Lo "WIuL dId you suy?" "DId you speuk?" "JusL u momenL, pIeuse!" How
AdrIun wouId IuugI wIen ScIIIdknupp IeII ouL wILI IIs own reIIecLIon In LIe mIrror! He wus
vuIn, LIuL Is, noL In u common wuy, buL In poeLIc reIerence Lo LIe endIess poLenLIuI oI IuppIness
In LIe worId, Iur ouLbIddIng IIs own power oI resoIuLIon, Ior wIIcI Ie wIsIed Lo keep IImseII
young und Iundsome; Ie wus uggrIeved uL LIe Lendency oI IIs Iuce Lo be premuLureIy wrInkIed
und weuLIer-beuLen. And IIs mouLI dId Iuve someLIIng oId-mun ubouL IL, LogeLIer wILI LIe nose
droopIng sLruIgIL down over IL, wIIcI oLIerwIse one wus wIIIIng Lo cuII cIussIc. One couId reudIIy
see Iow RüdIger wouId Iook wIen Ie wus oId, uddIng u wrInkIed brow, IInes Irom nose Lo mouLI,
und vurIous crow's-IeeL. He wouId upproucI IIs IeuLures mIsLrusLIuIIy Lo LIe gIuss, puII u wry
Iuce, IoId IIs cIIn wILI LIumb und IoreIInger, sLroke IIs cIeek In dIsgusL und LIen wuve IIs Iuce
uwuy wILI LIe oLIer Iund so expressIveIy LIuL we, AdrIun und ¡, bursL ouL In Ioud IuugILer.
WIuL ¡ Iuve noL yeL menLIoned Is LIuL IIs eyes were exucLIy LIe sume coIour us AdrIun's. TIere
wus reuIIy u remurkubIe sImIIurILy: LIey sIowed jusL LIe sume mIxLure oI bIue, grey, und green,
und boLI Iud LIe sume rusL-coIoured rIng round LIe pupII. However sLrunge IL muy sound, IL
uIwuys seemed Lo me, seemed so wILI u cerLuIn sooLIIng convIcLIon, LIuL AdrIun's IuugILer-IovIng
IrIendsIIp Ior ScIIIdknupp Iud Lo do wILI LIIs IIkeness In LIe coIour oI LIeIr eyes - wIIcI Is
equIvuIenL Lo suyIng LIuL IL resLed upon un IndIIIerence us proIound us IL wus IIgIL-IeurLed. ¡
scurceIy need Lo udd LIuL LIey uIwuys uddressed eucI oLIer wILI LIeIr IusL numes und Sie. ¡I ¡ dId
noL know Iow Lo enLerLuIn AdrIun us ScIIIdknupp dId, ¡ dId Iuve our cIIIdIood LIe, our du, Lo my
udvunLuge over LIe SIIesIun.

CHAPTIR XXI
TIIs mornIng, wIIIe my good HeIene wus prepurIng our mornIng drInk und u brIsk Upper
BuvurIun uuLumn duy begun Lo cIeur uwuy LIe usuuI eurIy mIsLs, ¡ reud In my puper oI LIe
successIuI revIvuI oI our submurIne wurIure, Lo wIIcI InsIde LwenLy-Iour Iours noL Iess LIun
LweIve sIIps, umong LIem Lwo Iurge pussenger sLeumers, un EngIIsI und u BruzIIIun, wILI IIve
Iundred pussengers, Iuve IuIIen vIcLIm. We owe LIIs success Lo u new Lorpedo oI IubuIous
properLIes wIIcI Germun LecInIcIuns Iuve succeeded In consLrucLIng, und ¡ cunnoL repress u
cerLuIn suLIsIucLIon over our ever uIerL spIrIL oI InvenLIon, our nuLIonuI gIIL oI noL beIng swerved
usIde by Iowever muny seL-bucks. ¡L sLunds wIoIIy und enLIreIy uL LIe servIce oI LIe regIme wIIcI
brougIL us InLo LIIs wur, IuId LIe ConLInenL IILeruIIy uL our IeeL und repIuced LIe InLeIIecLuuI's
dreum oI u Europeun Germuny wILI LIe upseLLIng, ruLIer brILLIe reuIILy, InLoIerubIe, so IL seems
Lo LIe resL oI LIe worId, oI u Germun Europe. BuL my InvoIunLury suLIsIucLIon gIves wuy Lo LIe
LIougIL LIuL sucI IncIdenLuI LrIumpIs us LIe new sInkIngs or LIe spIendId commundo IeuL oI
snuLcIIng LIe IuIIen dIcLuLor oI ¡LuIy Irom IIs prIson cun onIy serve Lo urouse IuIse Iopes und
IengLIen ouL u wur wIIcI In LIe vIew oI uny reusonubIe und sensIbIe mun cun no Ionger be won.
SucI Is uIso LIe opInIon oI LIe Ieud oI our ¡reIsIng LIeoIogIcuI semInury, MonsIgnor
HInLerpIorLner; Ie Ius conIessed IL Lo me In so muny words, In prIvuLe conversuLIon us we suL
over our evenIng gIusses - u mun wIo Ius noLIIng In common wILI LIe pussIonuLe scIoIur ubouL
wIom In LIe summer LIe MunIcI sLudenL uprIsIng cenLred, so IorrIbIy quencIed In bIood.
MonsIgnor HInLerpIorLner's knowIedge oI LIe worId permILs IIm no IIIusIon, noL even LIuL wIIcI
cIIngs Lo LIe dIsLIncLIon beLween IosIng LIe wur und noL wInnIng IL. ¡or LIuL onIy veIIs LIe LruLI
LIuL we Iuve pIuyed tc bcnque und LIuL LIe IuIIure oI our Iopes oI worId conquesL umounLs Lo u
IIrsL-cIuss nuLIonuI cuLusLropIe.
¡ suy uII LIIs Lo remInd LIe reuder oI LIe IIsLorIcuI condILIons under wIIcI ¡ um seLLIng down
¡everküIn's bIogrupIy, und Lo poInL ouL Iow LIe excILed sLuLe bound up wILI my subjecL con-
sLunLIy ussImIIuLes ILseII Lo LIuL produced by LIe sIuLLerIng evenLs oI LIe LIme. ¡ do noL speuk oI
dIsLrucLIon; Ior - uL IeusL so IL seems Lo me - evenLs Iuve noL ucLuuIIy LIe power oI dIsLrucLIng
me Irom my Lusk. Even so, und despILe my personuI securILy, ¡ muy suy LIuL LIe LImes ure noL
precIseIy IuvourubIe Lo LIe sLeudy pursuunce oI sucI u work us LIIs. And, moreover, jusL durIng
LIe MunIcI dIsorders und execuLIons, ¡ goL un InIIuenzu wILI Iever und cIIIIs, wIIcI Ior Len duys
conIIned me Lo my bed und necessurIIy uIIecLed Ior some LIme LIe pIysIcuI und menLuI powers oI
u mun now sIxLy yeurs oId. ¡L Is no wonder LIuL sprIng und summer Iuve pussed InLo uuLumn,
und uuLumn Is now weII udvunced, sInce ¡ commILLed Lo puper LIe IIrsL IInes oI LIIs nurruLIve.
MeunwIIIe we Iuve experIenced LIe desLrucLIon oI our nobIe cILIes Irom LIe uIr, u desLrucLIon
LIuL wouId cry Lo Ieuven II we wIo suIIer were noL ourseIves Iuden wILI guIIL. As IL Is, LIe cry Is
smoLIered In our LIrouLs; IIke KIng CIuudIus's pruyer, IL cun "never Lo Ieuven go." TIere Is
ouLcry over LIese crImes uguInsL cuILure, crImes LIuL we ourseIves Invoked; Iow sLrunge IL
sounds In LIe mouLIs oI LIose wIo Lrod LIe bourds oI IIsLory us LIe IeruIds und brIngers oI u
worId-rejuvenuLIng burburIsm, reveIIIng In uLrocILy. SeveruI LImes LIe sIuLLerIng, IeudIong
desLrucLIon Ius come breuLILukIngIy neur my reLreuL. TIe IrIgILIuI bomburdmenL oI LIe cILy oI
Durer und WIIIIbuId PIrkIeImer wus no remoLe evenL; und wIen LIe IusL judgmenL IeII on
MunIcI Loo, ¡ suL puIIId, sIukIng IIke LIe wuIIs, LIe doors, und LIe wIndowpunes In my sLudy -
und wILI LrembIIng Iund wroLe on uL LIIs sLory oI u IIIe. ¡or my Iund LrembIes In uny cuse, on
uccounL oI my subjecL; IL cunnoL mucI muLLer Lo me LIuL IL LrembIes u IILLIe more due Lo Lerror
Irom wILIouL.
We Iuve IIved LIrougI, wILI LIe sorL oI Iope und prIde wIIcI LIe unIoIdIng oI Germun mIgIL
musL rouse In us, LIe new oIIensIve oI our WeIrmucIL uguInsL LIe RussIun Iordes deIendIng
LIeIr InIospILubIe buL obvIousIy deurIy Ioved Iund. ¡L wus un oIIensIve wIIcI uILer u Iew weeks
pussed over InLo u RussIun one und sInce LIen Ius Ied Lo endIess, unuvoIdubIe ubundonmenL oI
LerrILory - Lo speuk onIy oI LerrILory. WILI proIound consLernuLIon we reud oI LIe IundIng oI
AmerIcun und CunudIun Lroops on LIe souLIeusL cousL oI SIcIIy, LIe IuII oI Syrucuse, CuLunIu,
MessInu, TuormInu. We Ieurned, wILI u mIxLure oI Lerror und envy - pIerced by LIe knowIedge
LIuL we ourseIves were noL cupubIe oI IL, In eILIer u good or u bud sense - Iow u counLry wIose
menLuI sLuLe sLIII permILLed IL Lo druw LIe Ioregone concIusIon Irom u successIon oI scunduIous
deIeuLs und Iosses reIIeved ILseII oI ILs greuL mun, In order somewIuL IuLer Lo submIL Lo
uncondILIonuI surrender. TIuL Is wIuL LIe worId demunds oI us Loo, buL Lo consenL Lo IL our mosL
desperuLe sILuuLIon wouId sLIII be mucI Loo IoIy und deur. Yes, we ure un uLLerIy dIIIerenL peopIe;
we deny und rejecL LIe Ioregone concIusIon; we ure u peopIe oI mIgILIIy LrugIc souI, und our Iove
beIongs Lo IuLe - Lo uny IuLe, II onIy IL be one, even desLrucLIon kIndIIng Ieuven wILI LIe crImson
IIumes oI LIe deuLI oI LIe gods!
TIe udvunce oI LIe MuscovILes InLo our desLIned grunury, LIe UkruIne, und LIe eIusLIc reLreuL
oI our Lroops Lo LIe DnIeper IIne uccompunIed my work, or ruLIer my work uccompunIed LIose
evenLs. Some duys sInce, LIe unLenubIIILy oI LIIs deIence IIne Loo seems proved, uILIougI our
¡üIrer, IurryIng up, ordered u mIgILy IuIL Lo LIe reLreuL, uLLered IIs LrencIunL rebuke, LIe
words "SLuIIngrud psycIosIs," und communded LIuL LIe IIne oI LIe DnIeper be IeId uL uII cosLs.
TIe prIce, uny prIce, wus puId, In vuIn; wIILIer, Iow Iur, LIe red IIood LIe pupers speuk oI wIII
sLIII pour on Is IeIL Lo our powers oI ImugInuLIon - und LIese ure uIreudy IncIIned Lo reckIess
excess. ¡or IL beIongs In LIe reuIm oI LIe IunLusLIc, IL oIIends uguInsL uII order und expecLuLIon
LIuL Germuny ILseII sIouId become LIe LIeuLre oI one oI Germuny's wurs. TwenLy-IIve yeurs ugo
uL LIe very IusL momenL we escuped LIuL IuLe. BuL now our IncreusIngIy LrugIc und IeroIc
psycIoIogy seems Lo prevenL us Irom quILLIng u IosL cuuse beIore LIe unLIInkubIe becomes IucL.
TIunk God, wIde sLreLcIes sLIII IIe beLween our Iome soII und desLrucLIon rusIIng on Irom LIe
eusL. We muy be prepured Lo Luke some puInIuI Iosses now on LIIs IronL In order Lo deIend In
greuLer sLrengLI our Europeun LerrILory uguInsL LIe deudIy enemIes oI LIe Germun order
udvuncIng Irom LIe wesL. TIe InvusIon oI our beuuLIIuI SIcIIy by no meuns proved LIuL IL wus
possIbIe Ior LIe Ioe Lo guIn u IooLIng on LIe ¡LuIIun muInIund. BuL unIuppIIy IL dId Lurn ouL Lo be
possIbIe, wIIIe In NupIes IusL week u communIsLIc revoIL broke ouL In supporL oI LIe AIIIes wIIcI
mude LIuL cILy uppeur no Ionger u pIuce worLIy oI Germun Lroops. AILer conscIenLIous
desLrucLIon oI LIe IIbrury, und IeuvIng u LIme-bomb beIInd In LIe posL-oIIIce, we mude our exIL
wILI our Ieuds IIgI. And now LIere Is LuIk oI InvusIon LesLs In LIe CIunneI, supposed Lo be
covered wILI sIIps, und LIe cIvIIIun Lukes unIuwIuI Ieuve Lo usk IImseII wIeLIer wIuL Iuppened
In ¡LuIy und IurLIer up LIe penInsuIu cun Iuppen, uII LIe prescrIbed beIIeIs In LIe InvIoIubIIILy oI
¡orLress Europu Lo LIe conLrury, uIso In ¡runce or some oLIer pIuce.
Yes, MonsIgnor HInLerpIorLner Is rIgIL: we ure IosL. ¡n oLIer words, LIe wur Is IosL; buL LIuL
meuns more LIun u IosL cumpuIgn, IL meuns In very LruLI LIuL ue ure IosL: our cIurucLer, our
cuuse, our Iope, our IIsLory. ¡L Is uII up wILI Germuny, IL wIII be uII up wILI Ier. SIe Is murked
down Ior coIIupse, economIc, poIILIcuI, moruI spIrILuuI, In sIorL uII-embrucIng, unpuruIIeIed, IInuI
coIIupse. ¡ suppose ¡ Iuve noL wIsIed Ior IL, LIIs LIuL LIreuLens, Ior IL Is mudness und despuIr. ¡
suppose ¡ Iuve noL wIsIed Ior IL, becuuse my pILy Is Loo deep, my grIeI und sympuLIy ure wILI
LIIs unIuppy nuLIon, wIen ¡ LIInk oI LIe exuILuLIon und bIInd urdour oI ILs uprIsIng, LIe
breukIng-ouL, LIe breukIng-up, LIe breukIng-down; LIe purIIyIng und IresI sLurL, LIe nuLIonuI
new bIrLI oI Len yeurs ugo, LIuL seemIngIy reIIgIous InLoxIcuLIon - wIIcI LIen beLruyed ILseII Lo
uny InLeIIIgenL person Ior wIuL IL wus by ILs crudILy, vuIgurILy, gungsLerIsm, sudIsm, degruduLIon,
IIILIIness - uI, Iow unmIsLukubIy IL bore wILIIn ILseII LIe seeds oI LIIs wIoIe wur! My IeurL
conLrucLs puInIuIIy uL LIe LIougIL oI LIuL enormous InvesLmenL oI IuILI, zeuI, IoILy IIsLorIc
emoLIon; uII LIIs we mude, uII LIIs Is now puIIed uwuy In u bunkrupLcy wILIouL compure. No,
sureIy ¡ dId noL wunL IL, und yeL - ¡ Iuve been drIven Lo wunL IL, ¡ wIsI Ior IL Loduy und wIII
weIcome IL, ouL oI IuLred Ior LIe ouLrugeous conLempL oI reuson, LIe vIcIous vIoIuLIon oI LIe
LruLI, LIe cIeup, IIILIy bucksLuIrs myLIoIogy, LIe crImInuI degruduLIon und conIusIon oI
sLundurds; LIe ubuse, corrupLIon, und bIuckmuII oI uII LIuL wus good, genuIne, LrusLIng, und
LrusLworLIy In our oId Germuny. ¡or IIurs und IIckspILLIes mIxed us u poIson druugIL und Look
uwuy our senses. We drunk - Ior we Germuns perennIuIIy yeurn Ior InLoxIcuLIon - und under ILs
speII, LIrougI yeurs oI deIuded IIgI IIvIng, we commILLed u superIIuILy oI sIumeIuI deeds, wIIcI
musL now be puId Ior. WILI wIuL? ¡ Iuve uIreudy used LIe word, LogeLIer wILI LIe word "despuIr"
¡ wroLe IL. ¡ wIII noL repeuL IL: noL LwIce couId ¡ conLroI my Iorror or my LrembIIng IIngers Lo seL IL
down uguIn.
¯ ¯ ¯
AsLerIsks Loo ure u reIresImenL Ior LIe eye und mInd oI LIe reuder. One does noL uIwuys need
LIe greuLer urLIcuIuLIon oI u Romun numeruI, und ¡ couId scurceIy gIve LIe cIurucLer oI u muIn
secLIon Lo LIe ubove excursus InLo u presenL ouLsIde oI AdrIun ¡everküIn's IIIe und work. No,
usLerIsks wIII serve cupILuIIy Lo gIve proporLIon Lo my puge; und beIow LIem ¡ wIII round ouL LIIs
secLIon wILI some IurLIer InIormuLIon ubouL AdrIun's ¡eIpzIg yeurs, LIougI ¡ reuIIze LIuL us u
cIupLer IL mukes un ImpressIon oI IeLerogeneous eIemenLs - us LIougI IL were noL enougI LIuL ¡
dId noL succeed beLLer wILI wIuL cume beIore. ¡ Iuve rereud IL uII: AdrIun's drumuLIc wIsIes und
pIuns, IIs eurIIesL songs, LIe puInIuI guze LIuL Ie Iud ucquIred durIng our sepuruLIon; LIe
InLeIIecLuuI IuscInuLIons oI SIukespeureun comedy, ¡everküIn's empIusIs on IoreIgn songs und
IIs own sIy cosmopoIILunIsm; LIen LIe boIemIun CuIe CenLruI cIub, wIndIng up wILI LIe porLruIL
oI RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, gIven In perIups unjusLIIIubIe deLuII. And ¡ quILe properIy usk myseII
wIeLIer sucI uneven muLerIuI cun ucLuuIIy muke up u sIngIe cIupLer. BuL IeL me remember LIuL
Irom LIe IIrsL ¡ Iud Lo reproucI myseII Ior LIe ubsence oI u conLroIIed und reguIur sLrucLure In my
work. My excuse Is uIwuys LIe sume: my subjecL Is Loo cIose Lo me. WIuL Is IuckIng Is dIsLunce,
conLrusL, mere dIIIerenLIuLIon beLween LIe muLerIuI und LIe Iund LIuL sIupes IL. Huve ¡ noL suId
more LIun once LIuL LIe IIIe ¡ um LreuLIng oI wus neurer Lo me, deurer, more movIng LIun my
own? And beIng so neur, so movIng, und so InLImuLe, IL Is noL mere "muLerIuI" buL u person, und
LIuL does noL Iend ILseII Lo urLIsLIc LreuLmenL. ¡ur be IL Irom me Lo deny LIe serIousness oI urL;
buL wIen IL becomes serIous, LIen one rejecLs urL und Is noL cupubIe oI IL. ¡ cun onIy repeuL LIuL
purugrupIs und usLerIsks ure In LIIs book mereIy u concessIon Lo LIe eyes oI LIe reuder, und LIuL
¡, II ¡ Iud my wuy, wouId wrILe down LIe wIoIe In one bursL und one breuLI, wILIouL uny
dIvIsIon, yes, wILIouL purugrupIIng or InLermIssIons. ¡ sImpIy Iuve noL LIe couruge Lo submIL
sucI un InsensuLe LexL Lo LIe eyes oI LIe reudIng pubIIc.
¯ ¯ ¯
HuvIng spenL u yeur wILI AdrIun In ¡eIpzIg, ¡ know Iow Ie IIved durIng LIe oLIer LIree oI IIs
sLuy LIere; IIs munner oI IIIe beIng so reguIur und conservuLIve LIuL ¡ Iound IL rIgId und some-
LImes even depressIng. NoL Ior noLIIng, In LIuL IIrsL IeLLer, Iud Ie expressed IIs sympuLIy Ior
CIopIn's Iuck oI udvenLurous spIrIL, IIs "noL wunLIng Lo know." He Loo wunLed Lo know noLIIng,
see noLIIng, ucLuuIIy experIence noLIIng, uL IeusL noL In uny obvIous, exLerIor sense oI LIe word.
He wus noL ouL Ior cIunge, new sense ImpressIons, dIsLrucLIon, recreuLIon. As Ior LIe IusL, Ie
IIked Lo muke Iun oI peopIe wIo ure consLunLIy IuvIng "u IILLIe cIunge," consLunLIy geLLIng brown
und sLrong - und nobody knew Ior wIuL. "ReIuxuLIon," Ie suId, "Is Ior LIose Lo wIom IL does no
good." He wus noL InLeresLed In LruveI Ior LIe suke oI sIgILseeIng or "cuILure." He scorned LIe
deIIgIL oI LIe eye, und sensILIve us IIs IeurIng wus, jusL so IILLIe Iud Ie ever IeIL urged Lo LruIn IIs
sIgIL In LIe Iorms oI pIusLIc urL. TIe dIsLIncLIon beLween eye-men und eur-men Ie consIdered
IndeIeusIbIy vuIId und correcL und counLed IImseII deIInILeIy umong LIe IuLLer. As Ior me, ¡ Iuve
never LIougIL sucI u dIsLIncLIon couId be IoIIowed LIrougI LIIck und LIIn, und In IIs cuse ¡ never
quILe beIIeved In LIe unwIIIIngness und reIucLunce oI LIe eye. To be sure, GoeLIe Loo suys LIuL
musIc Is someLIIng Inborn und nuLIve, requIrIng no greuL nourIsImenL Irom ouLsIde und no
experIence druwn Irom IIIe. BuL uILer uII LIere Is LIe Inner vIsIon, LIe percepLIon, wIIcI Is
someLIIng dIIIerenL und compreIends more LIun mere seeIng. And more LIun LIuL, IL Is
proIoundIy conLrudIcLory LIuL u mun sIouId Iuve, us ¡everküIn dId, some IeeIIng Ior LIe Iumun
eye, wIIcI uILer uII speuks onIy Lo LIe eye, und yeL reIuse Lo perceIve LIe ouLer worId LIrougI LIuL
orgun. ¡ need onIy menLIon LIe numes oI MurIe Godeuu, RudI ScIwerdLIeger, und Nepomuk
ScIneIdeweIn Lo brIng Iome Lo myseII AdrIun's recepLIvILy, yes, weukness, Ior LIe mugIc oI LIe
eye, LIe bIuck und LIe bIue. OI course ¡ um quILe cIeur LIuL ¡ um doIng wrong Lo bomburd LIe
reuder wILI unIumIIIur numes wIen LIe ucLuuI uppeurunce oI LIeIr owners In LIese puges Is sLIII
Iur oII; IL Is u bureIuced bIunder wIIcI muy weII muke one quesLIon LIe Ireedom oI LIe wIII.
WIuL, Indeed, Is Iree wIII? ¡ um quILe uwure LIuL ¡ Iuve puL down under u compuIsIon LIese Loo
empLy, Loo eurIy numes.
AdrIun's journey Lo Gruz, wIIcI dId noL occur Ior LIe journey's suke, wus one InLerrupLIon In
LIe even IIow oI IIs IIIe. AnoLIer wus LIe excursIon wILI ScIIIdknupp Lo LIe seu, LIe IruIL oI
wIIcI one cun cIuIm Lo be LIuL one-movemenL sympIonIc Lone-poem. TIe LIIrd excepLIon,
reIuLed Lo LIe second, wus u journey Lo BuseI, wIIcI Ie mude In compuny wILI IIs LeucIer
KreLscImur Lo uLLend LIe perIormunces oI sucred musIc oI LIe buroque perIod, wIIcI LIe BuseI
CIumber CIoIr guve In SL. MurLIn's CIurcI. KreLscImur wus Lo pIuy LIe orgun. TIey guve
MonLeverdI's MugnIIIcuL, some orgun sLudIes by ¡rescobuIdI, un oruLorIo by CurIssImI, und u
cunLuLu by BuxLeIude. TIIs "musicc risertctc" mude u sLrong ImpressIon on AdrIun, us u musIc
oI emoLIon, wIIcI In u rebound Irom LIe consLrucLIvIsm oI LIe NeLIerIunders LreuLed LIe BIbIe
word wILI usLonIsIIng Iumun Ireedom, wILI u decIumuLory expressIveness, und cIoLIed IL In u
boIdIy descrIpLIve InsLrumenLuI gurb. TIe ImpressIon IL mude wus very sLrong und IusLIng. He
wroLe und spoke mucI Lo me ubouL LIIs ouLbursL oI modernILy In MonLeverdI's musIcuI devIces;
Ie spenL mucI LIme, In LIe ¡eIpzIg IIbrury, und prucLIsed CurIssImI's 1ephthc und LIe Psclms oj
Dctid by ScIüLz. WIo couId IuII Lo recognIze In LIe quusI-eccIesIusLIcuI musIc oI IIs IuLer yeurs,
LIe Apocclçpse und LIe Icustus, LIe sLyIIsLIc InIIuence oI LIIs mudrIguIIsm? AIwuys domInunL In
IIm wus u wIII Lo go Lo exLremes oI expressIon; LogeLIer wILI LIe InLeIIecLuuI pussIon Ior uusLere
order, LIe linecr sLyIe oI LIe NeLIerIunds composers. ¡n oLIer words, IeuL und coId prevuII
uIongsIde eucI oLIer In IIs work; someLImes In momenLs oI LIe greuLesL genIus LIey pIuy InLo
eucI oLIer, LIe espressito Lukes IoId oI LIe sLrIcL counLerpoInL, LIe objecLIve bIusIes wILI
IeeIIng. One geLs LIe ImpressIon oI u gIowIng mouId; LIIs, IIke noLIIng eIse, Ius brougIL Iome Lo
me LIe Ideu oI LIe duemonIc.
As Ior LIe connecLIon beLween AdrIun's IIrsL journey Lo SwILzerIund und LIe eurIIer one Lo SyIL,
IL Iud come ubouL LIus: LIuL IILLIe mounLuIn Iund, cuILuruIIy so ucLIve und unIumpered, Iud und
Ius u SocIeLy oI MusIcIuns, u TonkunsLIer VereIn, wIIcI IoIds reguIur orcIesLruI prucLIces, LIe
so-cuIIed lectures d'orchestre. A jury oI uuLIorILIes, LIuL Is, permILs young uspIrunLs Lo presenL
LIeIr composILIons, wIIcI ure LIen gIven u Lry-ouL by one oI LIe sympIony orcIesLrus oI LIe
counLry und ILs conducLor, LIe pubIIc beIng excIuded und onIy proIessIonuIs udmILLed. TIus LIe
young composer Ius un opporLunILy Lo Ieur IIs creuLIon, Lo geL experIence und Iuve IIs
ImugInuLIon InsLrucLed by LIe reuIILy oI sound. SucI u Lry-ouL wus IeId In Genevu uL uImosL LIe
sume LIme wILI LIe BuseI concerL, by LIe OrcIesLre de Iu SuIsse Romunde, und WendeII
KreLscImur Iud succeeded LIrougI IIs connecLIons In IuvIng AdrIun's Meerleuchten - by
excepLIon LIe work oI u young Germun - puL on LIe progrum. ¡or AdrIun IL wus u compIeLe
surprIse: KreLscImur Iud umused IImseII by keepIng IIm In LIe durk. He sLIII knew noLIIng
wIen Ie wenL wILI IIs LeucIer Irom BuseI Lo Genevu Ior LIe LrIuI perIormunce, und LIere
sounded under Herr AnsermeL's buLon IIs "rooL LreuLmenL," LIuL pIece oI durkIy spurkIIng
ImpressIonIsm wIIcI Ie IImseII dId noL Luke serIousIy, Iud noL Luken serIousIy even wIen Ie
wroLe IL. OI course wIIIe IL wus beIng perIormed Ie suL on pIns und needIes. To know IImseII
beIng IdenLIIIed by LIe uudIence wILI un ucIIevemenL wIIcI Ie IImseII Ius goL beyond und
wIIcI Ior IIm meuns onIy u LrIIIIng wILI someLIIng noL Luken In eurnesL: LIuL musL be Ior LIe
urLIsL u groLesque LormenL. TIunk God, sIgns oI uppIuuse or dIspIeusure were IorbIdden uL LIese
perIormunces. PrIvuLeIy Ie receIved words oI pruIse or bIume, excepLIon wus Luken,
sIorLcomIngs poInLed ouL In ¡rencI und Germun; Ie suId noLIIng, eILIer wuy, und unyIow Ie
ugreed wILI no one. A week or Len duys Ie remuIned wILI KreLscImur In Genevu, BuseI und
ZurIcI und cume InLo brIeI conLucL wILI musIcuI cIrcIes LIere. TIey wIII noL Iuve Iud mucI joy oI
IIm, nor even known Iow Lo Luke IIm, uL IeusL In so Iur us LIey seL sLore by InoIIensIveness,
expunsIveness, IrIendIy responsIveness. ¡ndIvIduuIs Iere und LIere mIgIL Iuve been LoucIed by
IIs sIyness und undersLood LIe soIILude LIuL wrupped IIm, LIe dIIIIcuILIes oI IIs IIIe - Indeed, ¡
know LIuL sucI wus LIe cuse und ¡ IInd IL IIIumInuLIng. ¡n my experIence LIere Is In SwILzerIund
mucI IeeIIng Ior suIIerIng, mucI undersLundIng oI IL, wIIcI, more LIun In oLIer pIuces oI
udvunced cuILure, Ior InsLunce InLeIIecLuuI PurIs, Is bound up wILI LIe oId cIvIc IIIe oI LIe Lowns.
Here wus u IIdden poInL oI conLucL. On LIe oLIer Iund, LIe InLroverLed SwIss mIsLrusL oI LIe
ReIcI-Germun meL Iere u specIuI cuse oI Germun mIsLrusL oI LIe "worId" - sLrunge us IL muy
seem Lo uppIy LIe word "worId" Lo LIe LIgIL IILLIe neIgIbourIng counLry by wuy oI conLrusLIng IL
wILI LIe broud und mIgILy Germun ReIcI wILI ILs Immense cILIes. BuL LIe compurIson Ius
IndIspuLubIe jusLIce on ILs sIde. SwILzerIund, neuLruI, muny-Longued, uIIecLed by ¡rencI
InIIuence, open Lo wesLern uIrs, Is ucLuuIIy, despILe ILs smuII sIze, Iur more "worId," Iur more
Europeun LerrILory LIun LIe poIILIcuI coIossus on LIe norLI, wIere LIe word "InLernuLIonuI" Ius
Iong been u reproucI, und u smug provIncIuIIsm Ius mude LIe uIr spoIIL und sLuIIy. ¡ Iuve uIreudy
spoken oI AdrIun's Inner cosmopoIILunIsm. BuL Germun cILIzensIIp oI LIe worId wus uIwuys
someLIIng dIIIerenL Irom worIdIIness; und my IrIend wus jusL LIe souI Lo be mude uneusy by LIe
"worId," und IeeI IImseII ouLsIde oI IL. A Iew duys eurIIer LIun KreLscImur Ie reLurned Lo ¡eIpzIg,
cerLuInIy u worId-mInded cILy, yeL one wIere LIe worId Is presenL more us u guesL LIun uL Iome;
LIuL cILy wIere peopIe LuIk so ouLIundIsIIy - und wIere IIrsL desIre Iud LoucIed IIs prIde. TIuL
experIence wus proIound, IL wus sIuLLerIng; Ie Iud noL expecLed IL Irom LIe worId, und ¡ LIInk IL
dId mucI Lo esLrunge IIm Irom IL. ¡L Is Indeed quILe IuIse, und noLIIng buL Germun provIncIuI
conceILedness, Lo deny depLI Lo LIe worId. BuL LIe depLI Is u worId-depLI; und IL Is u desLIny, IIke
unoLIer, wIIcI one musL uccepL us sucI, Lo be born Lo LIe provIncIuI - und LIus so mucI LIe
more uncunny - depLI oI Germuny.
AdrIun kepL wILIouL cIungIng durIng LIe wIoIe Iour und u IuII yeurs Ie spenL In ¡eIpzIg Ms
Lwo-room quurLers In PerersLrusse. neur LIe CoIIegIum BeuLue VIrgInIs, wIere Ie Iud uguIn
pInned LIe mugIc squure ubove IIs coLLuge pIuno. He uLLended IecLures In pIIIosopIy und LIe
IIsLory oI musIc; reud und excerpLed In LIe IIbrury und brougIL KreLscImur IIs exercIses Lo be
crILIcIzed: pIuno pIeces, u "concerLo" Ior sLrIng orcIesLru, und u quurLeL Ior IIuLe, cIurIneL, busseL
Iorn, und bussoon. ¡ menLIon LIe pIeces wIIcI were known Lo me und ure sLIII exLunL, LIougI
never pubIIsIed. WIuL KreLscImur dId wus Lo poInL ouL weuk pIuces, recommend correcLIons oI
Lempo, LIe enIIvenIng oI u sLIIIIsI rIyLIm, LIe beLLer urLIcuIuLIon oI u LIeme. He poInLed ouL Lo
IIm u mIddIe purL LIuL cume Lo noLIIng, u buss LIuL dId noL move. He puL IIs IInger on u
LrunsILIon LIuL wus onIy u mukesIIIL, noL orgunIc, und compromIsIng LIe nuLuruI IIow oI LIe
composILIon. AcLuuIIy, Ie onIy LoId IIm wIuL LIe urLIsLIc sense oI LIe pupII mIgIL Iuve suId ILseII,
or wIuL IL Iud uIreudy LoId IIm. A LeucIer Is LIe personIIIed conscIence oI LIe pupII, conIIrmIng
IIm In IIs doubL, expIuInIng IIs dIssuLIsIucLIons, sLImuIuLIng IIs urge Lo Improve. BuL u pupII IIke
AdrIun uL boLLom needed no menLor or correcLor uL uII. He deIIberuLeIy brougIL Lo KreLscImur
unIInIsIed LIIngs In order Lo be LoId wIuL Ie knew uIreudy, LIen Lo IuugI uL LIe urLIsLIc sense, LIe
connoIsseursIIp, oI IIs LeucIer, wIIcI enLIreIy coIncIded wILI IIs own: LIe undersLundIng wIIcI
Is LIe ucLuuI ugenL oI LIe work-Ideu - noL LIe Ideu oI u purLIcuIur work buL LIe Ideu oI LIe opus
ILseII, LIe objecLIve und IurmonIc creuLIon compIeLe, LIe munuger oI ILs unIIIed orgunIc nuLure;
wIIcI sLIcks LIe crucks LogeLIer, sLops up LIe IoIes, brIngs ouL LIuL "nuLuruI IIow" - wIIcI wus
noL LIere In LIe IIrsL pIuce und so Is noL nuLuruI uL uII, buL u producL oI urL - In sIorL, onIy In
reLrospecL und IndIrecLIy does LIIs munuger produce LIe ImpressIon oI LIe sponLuneous und
orgunIc. ¡n u work LIere Is mucI seemIng und sIum, one couId go IurLIer und suy LIuL us "u
work" IL Is seemIng In und Ior ILseII. ¡Ls umbILIon Is Lo muke one beIIeve LIuL IL Is noL mude, buL
born, IIke PuIIus ALIene In IuII IIg und embossed urmour Irom JupILer's Ieud. BuL LIuL Is u
deIusIon. Never dId u work come IIke LIuL. ¡L Is work: urL-work Ior uppeurunce's suke - und now
LIe quesLIon Is wIeLIer uL LIe presenL sLuge oI our conscIousness, our knowIedge, our sense oI
LruLI, LIIs IILLIe gume Is sLIII permIssIbIe, sLIII InLeIIecLuuIIy possIbIe, sLIII Lo be Luken serIousIy;
wIeLIer LIe work us sucI, LIe consLrucLIon, seII-suIIIcIng, IurmonIcuIIy compIeLe In ILseII, sLIII
sLunds In uny IegILImuLe reIuLIon Lo LIe compIeLe InsecurILy, probIemuLIc condILIons, und Iuck oI
Iurmony oI our socIuI sILuuLIon; wIeLIer uII seemIng, even LIe mosL beuuLIIuI, even precIseIy LIe
beuuLIIuI, Ius noL Loduy become u IIe.
One usks, ¡ suy, or ruLIer ¡ Ieurned Lo usk myseII, LIrougI my InLercourse wILI AdrIun, wIose
sIurp-sIgILedness, or II ¡ muy InvenL u word, sIurp-IeeIIngness, In LIese muLLers wus oI exLreme
IncorrupLIbIIILy. ¡nsIgILs IundumenLuIIy remoLe Irom my own nuLIve eusy-goIngness Ie
expressed In LuIk us cusuuI upercus; und LIey puIned me, noL becuuse oI wounded IeeIIng buL on
IIs uccounL; LIey IurL, depressed, dIsLressed me, becuuse ¡ suw In LIem dungerous uggruvuLIons
oI IIs nuLure, InIIbILIons IumperIng LIe deveIopmenL oI IIs gIILs. ¡ Iuve Ieurd IIm suy:
"TIe work oI urL? ¡L Is u Iruud. ¡L Is someLIIng LIe burgIer wIsIes LIere sLIII were. ¡L Is conLrury
Lo LruLI, conLrury Lo serIous urL. GenuIne und serIous Is onIy LIe very sIorL, LIe IIgIIy consIsLenL
musIcuI momenL... "
How sIouId LIuL noL Iuve LroubIed me, wIen uILer uII ¡ knew LIuL Ie IImseII uspIred Lo u
"work," und wus pIunnIng un operu!
AguIn, ¡ Iuve Ieurd IIm suy: "PreLence und pIuy Iuve LIe conscIence oI urL uguInsL LIem Loduy.
ArL wouId IIke Lo sLop beIng preLence und pIuy, IL wouId IIke Lo become knowIedge."
BuL wIuL ceuses Lo conIorm Lo IIs deIInILIon, does LIuL noL ceuse Lo exIsL uILogeLIer? And Iow
wIII urL IIve us knowIedge? ¡ recuIIed wIuL Ie Iud wrILLen Irom HuIIe Lo KreLscImur ubouL LIe
exLensIon oI LIe kIngdom oI LIe bunuI. KreLscImur Iud noL uIIowed IL Lo upseL IIs beIIeI In LIe
cuIIIng oI IIs pupII. BuL LIese IuLer crILIcIsms, IeveIIed uguInsL preLence und pIuy, In oLIer words
uguInsL Iorm ILseII, seemed Lo IndIcuLe sucI un exLensIon oI LIe kIngdom oI LIe bunuI, oI LIe no
Ionger permIssIbIe, LIuL IL LIreuLened Lo swuIIow up urL ILseII. WILI deep concern ¡ usked myseII
wIuL sLruIn und eIIorL, InLeIIecLuuI LrIcks, by-wuvs, und IronIes wouId be necessury Lo suve IL, Lo
reconquer IL, und Lo urrIve uL u work wIIcI us u LruvesLy oI Innocence conIessed Lo LIe sLuLe oI
knowIedge Irom wIIcI IL wus Lo be won!
My poor IrIend Iud been InsLrucLed one duy, or ruLIer one nIgIL, Irom IrIgILIuI IIps, by un
uwIuI uIIy, In more deLuII on LIe subjecL ¡ Iere LoucI upon. TIe documenL Is exLunL, ¡ wIII reporL
on IL In ILs proper pIuce. ¡L IIrsL IIIumInuLed und cIurIIIed LIe InsLIncLIve Ieurs wIIcI AdrIun's
remurks uroused In me. BuL wIuL ¡ cuIIed ubove LIe "LruvesLy oI Innocence": Iow oILen, Irom
eurIy on, dId IL sLrungeIy sLund ouL In IIs work! TIuL work conLuIns, on u deveIoped musIcuI
pIune, uguInsL u buckground oI LIe mosL exLreme LensIons, "bunuIILIes" - oI course noL In u
senLImenLuI sense nor In LIuL oI u buoyunL compIucency, buL bunuIILIes ruLIer In LIe sense oI u
LecInIcuI prImILIvIsm, specImens oI nuIveLe or sIum nuIveLe wIIcI MeIsLer KreLscImur, In so
gIILed u pupII, IeL puss wILI u smIIe. He dId so, cerLuInIy, becuuse Ie undersLood LIem noL us IIrsL-
degree nuIveLes, II ¡ muy so express myseII, buL us someLIIng LIe oLIer sIde oI LIe new und
cIeup: us uuducILIes dressed In LIe gurmenL oI LIe prImILIve. TIe LIIrLeen BrenLuno songs ure
uIso Lo be regurded In LIIs IIgIL. To LIem, beIore ¡ Ieuve LIe subjecL, ¡ musL cerLuInIy devoLe u Iew
words; LIey oILen uIIecL one IIke uL once u mockery und u gIorIIIcuLIon oI LIe IundumenLuI, u
puInIuIIy remInIscenL IronIc LreuLmenL oI LonuIILy, oI LIe Lempered sysLem, oI LrudILIonuI musIc
ILseII.
TIuL AdrIun In LIese ¡eIpzIg yeurs so zeuIousIy devoLed IImseII Lo LIe composILIon oI IIeder
doubLIess cume ubouL becuuse Ie regurded LIIs IyrIc murryIng oI musIc wILI words us u
prepuruLIon Ior LIe drumuLIc composILIon Ie Iud In mInd. ProbubIy IL wus uIso connecLed wILI
LIe scrupIes Ie IeIL on LIe score oI LIe desLIny, LIe IIsLorIc sILuuLIon oI urL ILseII, oI LIe
uuLonomous work. He mIsdoubLed Iorm, cuIIIng IL preLence und pIuy. TIus LIe smuII und IyrIc
Iorm oI LIe IIed mIgIL sLund Lo IIm us LIe mosL uccepLubIe, mosL serIous, und LruesL; IL mIgIL
seem Lo IIm soonesL Lo IuIIII IIs LIeoreLIc demund Ior brevILy und condensuLIon. BuL IL Is noL
onIy LIuL severuI oI LIese producLIons, us Ior InsLunce LIe "D lieb Mcdel" wILI LIe IeLLer symboI,
IurLIer LIe Hymns, LIe "Lustiçen Mimilcnten" LIe "HunLsmun Lo LIe SIepIerds," und oLIers,
ure quILe Iong. YeL ¡everküIn wunLed LIem uII regurded und LreuLed LogeLIer, us u wIoIe,
proceedIng Irom one deIInILe, IundumenLuI sLyIIsLIc concepLIon, LIe congenIuI conLucL wILI u
purLIcuIur, umuzIngIy IoILy, und deepIy dreum-sunken poeL souI. He wouId never permIL LIe
perIormunce oI sIngIe pIeces, buL uIwuys onIy LIe IuII cycIe, u sLern reservuLIon, wIIcI In IIs IIIe-
LIme sLood very mucI In LIe wuy oI LIeIr perIormunce In pubIIc, especIuIIy sInce one oI LIem, LIe
"JoIIy MusIcIuns," Is wrILLen Ior u quInLeL oI voIces, moLIer, duugILer, LIe Lwo broLIers, und LIe
boy wIo "eurIy broke IIs Ieg"; LIuL Is, Ior uILo, sopruno, burILone, Lenor, und u cIIId's voIce; LIese,
purLIy In ensembIe, purLIy soIo, purLIy In dueL (LIe Lwo broLIers) musL perIorm No. q oI LIe cycIe.
¡L wus LIe IIrsL one LIuL AdrIun orcIesLruLed, or more correcLIy, Ie seL IL uL once Ior u smuII
orcIesLru oI sLrIngs, woodwInd, und percussIon; Ior In LIe sLrunge poem mucI Is suId oI LIe pIpes
und LumbourIne, LIe beIIs und cymbuIs, LIe joIIy vIoIIn LrIIIs, wILI wIIcI LIe IunLusLIc, IrIgILened
IILLIe Lroupe, by nIgIL "wIen us no Iumun eye does see" druws InLo LIe mugIc speII oI ILs uIrs LIe
Iovers In LIeIr cIumber, LIe drunken guesLs, LIe IoneIy muIden. ¡n mood und spIrIL LIe pIece, IIke
u specLruI serenude, LIe musIc uL once IoveIy und LorLured, ure unIque. And sLIII ¡ IesILuLe Lo
uwurd IL LIe puIm umong LIe LIIrLeen, severuI oI wIIcI cIuIIenge musIc In u more Inwurd sense
und IuIIII LIemseIves more deepIy In IL LIun LIIs one wIIcI LreuLs oI musIc In words.
"GrossmuLLer ScIIungenkocIIn" Is unoLIer one oI LIe songs, LIIs "Mcric, uo bist du zur Stube
çeuesen?" TIIs seven LImes repeuLed "OI woe, ¡ruu MoLIer, wIuL woe!" LIuL wILI IncredIbIy
InLuILIve urL ucLuuIIy cuIIs up LIe uneurLIIy LIrIIIs und sIudders so IumIIIur Lo us In LIe IIeId oI
LIe Germun IoIk-song. ¡or IL Is reuIIy LIe cuse LIuL LIIs musIc, wIse und Lrue und over-sIrewd,
Iere conLInuuIIy und puInIuIIy woos LIe IoIk-uIr. TIe wooIng remuIns unreuIIzed, IL Is LIere und
noL LIere, sounds IIeeLIngIy, ecIoes, Iudes InLo u sLyIe musIcuIIy IoreIgn Lo IL, Irom wIIcI uILer uII
IL consLunLIy seeks Lo escupe. TIe urLIsLIc eIIecL Is sLrIkIng: IL uppeurs IIke u cuILuruI purudox,
wIIcI by InversIon oI LIe nuLuruI course oI deveIopmenL, wIere LIe reIIned und InLeIIecLuuI grow
ouL oI LIe eIemenLury, LIe Iormer Iere pIuys LIe roIe oI LIe orIgInuI, ouL oI wIIcI LIe sImpIe
conLInuuIIy sLrIves Lo wresL ILseII Iree.
WuILeLI LIe meunIng pure oI LIe sLurs SoIL LIrougI LIe dIsLunce unLo my eurs -
LIuL Is LIe sound, uImosL IosL In spuce, LIe cosmIc ozone oI unoLIer poem, wIereIn spIrILs In
goIden burks Lruverse LIe IeuvenIy seu und LIe rIngIng course oI gIeumIng songs wreuLIes ILseII
down und weIIs up uguIn:
AII Is so genLIy und IrIendIy combInIng, Hund seekeLI Iund In sympuLIy kInd, ¡IgILs LIrougI
LIe nIgIL wInd LrusLIng, consoIIng, AII Is In unIon Ior ever enLwIned.
Very rureIy In uII IILeruLure Iuve word und musIc meL und murrIed us Iere. Here musIc Lurns
ILs eye upon ILseII und Iooks uL ILs own beIng. TIese noLes, LIuL consoIIng und LrusLIng oIIer eucI
oLIer LIe Iund; LIuL weuvIng und wIndIng oI uII LIIngs In IIkeness und cIunge - oI sucI IL Is, und
AdrIun ¡everküIn Is ILs youLIIuI musLer.
KreLscImur, beIore Ie IeIL ¡eIpzIg Lo become IIrsL KupeIImeIsLer In LIe ¡ubeck SLuLe Operu
House, suw Lo LIe pubIIcuLIon oI LIe BrenLuno songs. ScIoLL In MuInz Look LIem on commIssIon;
LIuL Is, AdrIun, wILI KreLscImur's und my IeIp (we boLI sIured In IL) guurunLeed LIe cosL oI
prInLIng und remuIned LIe owner, In LIuL Ie ussured LIe pubIIsIers oI u sIure In LIe proIILs
umounLIng Lo LwenLy per cenL oI LIe neL receIpLs. He sLrIcLIy supervIsed LIe pIuno reducLIon,
demunded u rougI, muL puper, quurLo IormuL, wIde murgIns, und noLes prInLed noL Loo cIose
LogeLIer. And Ie InsIsLed upon u noLe uL LIe begInnIng Lo LIe eIIecL LIuL perIormunces In cIubs
und concerLs were onIy by LIe uuLIor's permIssIon und onIy permILLed Ior uII LIIrLeen pIeces us u
wIoIe. TIIs wus Luken oIIence uL us preLenLIous und, LogeLIer wILI LIe boIdness oI LIe musIc
ILseII, puL dIIIIcuILIes In LIe wuy oI LIeIr becomIng known. ¡n 1qzz, noL In AdrIun's presence, buL
In mIne, LIey were sung In LIe TonIuIIe In ZurIcI, under LIe dIrecLIon oI LIe exceIIenL Dr.
VoIkmur Andreue. TIe purL In "Die lustiçen Musilcnten" oI LIe boy wIo "eurIy broke IIs Ieg"
wus sung by u boy unIorLunuLeIy reuIIy crIppIed, usIng u cruLcI, IILLIe Jucob NugII. He Iud u voIce
pure us u beII, LIuL wenL sLruIgIL Lo LIe IeurL.
¡n pussIng, LIe preLLy orIgInuI edILIon oI CIemens BrenLuno's poems wIIcI AdrIun used In IIs
work Iud been u presenL Irom me; ¡ brougIL LIe IILLIe voIume Ior IIm Irom Nuumburg Lo ¡eIpzIg.
OI course LIe LIIrLeen songs were quILe IIs own cIoIce, ¡ Iud no smuIIesL InIIuence upon LIuL.
BuL ¡ muy suy LIuL uImosL song Ior song LIey IoIIowed my own wIsI und expecLuLIons. - ¡ do noL
meun LIey were my personuI cIoIce, nor wIII LIe reuder IInd LIem so. ¡or wIuL Iud ¡, reuIIy,
wIuL Iud my cuILure und eLIIcs Lo do wILI LIese words und vIsIons oI u romunLIc poeL, LIese
dreums oI u cIIId-worId und IoIk-worId wIIcI yeL ure Ior ever IIouLIng oII, noL Lo suy
degeneruLIng, InLo LIe supernuLuruI und specLruI? ¡ cun onIy unswer LIuL IL wus LIe musIc oI LIe
words LIemseIves wIIcI Ied me Lo muke LIe gIIL - musIc wIIcI IIes In LIese verses, so IIgILIy
sIumberIng LIuL LIe sIIgILesL LoucI oI LIe gIILed Iund wus enougI Lo uwuke IL.

CHAPTIR XXII
WIen ¡everküIn IeIL ¡eIpzIg, In SepLember 1q1o, uL u LIme wIen ¡ Iud uIreudy begun Lo LeucI
In LIe gymnusIum uL KuIsersuscIern, Ie IIrsL wenL Iome Lo BucIeI Lo uLLend IIs sIsLer's weddIng,
wIIcI Look pIuce uL LIuL LIme und Lo wIIcI ¡ und my purenLs were InvILed. UrsuIu, now LwenLy
yeurs oId, wus murryIng LIe opLIcIun JoIunnes ScIneIdeweIn oI ¡ungensuIzu, un exceIIenL mun
wIose ucquuInLunce sIe Iud mude wIIIe vIsILIng u IrIend In LIe cIurmIng IILLIe SuIzu Lown neur
ErIurL. ScIneIdeweIn, Len or LweIve yeurs oIder LIun IIs brIde, wus u SwIss by bIrLI, oI Bernese
peusunL sLock. HIs Lrude, Iens-grIndIng, Ie Iud Ieurned uL Iome, buL Ie Iud someIow drIILed
InLo Germuny und LIere opened u sIop wILI eye-gIusses und opLIcuI goods oI uII sorLs, wIIcI Ie
conducLed wILI success. He Iud very good Iooks und Iud kepL IIs SwIss munner oI speecI,
pIeusunL Lo LIe eur, deIIberuLe, IormuI, InLerspersed wILI survIvuIs oI oId-Germun expressIons
oddIy soIemn Lo Ieur. UrseI ¡everküIn Iud uIreudy begun Lo Luke LIem on. SIe Loo, LIougI no
beuuLy, wus un uLLrucLIve creuLure, resembIIng Ier IuLIer In Iooks, In munner more IIke Ier
moLIer, brown-eyed, sIIm, und nuLuruIIy IrIendIy. TIe Lwo mude u puIr on wIom LIe eye resLed
wILI upprovuI. ¡n LIe yeurs beLween 1q11 und 1qz¸ LIey Iud Iour cIIIdren born Lo LIem: Rosu,
EzekIeI, RuImund, und Nepomuk, preLLy creuLures uII oI LIem, und Nepomuk, LIe youngesL, wus
un ungeI. BuL oI LIuL IuLer, onIy quILe uL LIe end oI my sLory.
TIe weddIng purLy wus noL Iurge: LIe OberweIIer cIergymun, LIe scIooImusLer, LIe jusLIce oI
LIe peuce, wILI LIeIr wIves; Irom KuIsersuscIern besIdes us ZeILbIoms onIy UncIe NIkoIuus; reIu-
LIves oI ¡ruu ¡everküIn Irom ApoIdu; u murrIed puIr, IrIend oI LIe ¡everküIns, wILI LIeIr
duugILer, Irom WeIssenIeIs; broLIer George, LIe Iurmer, und LIe duIry munugeress ¡ruu ¡uder -
LIuL wus uII. WendeII KreLscImur senL u LeIegrum wILI good wIsIes Irom ¡ubeck, wIIcI urrIved
durIng LIe mIdduy meuI uL LIe Iouse In BucIeI. ¡L wus noL un evenIng purLy. ¡L Iud ussembIed
beLImes In LIe mornIng; uILer LIe ceremony In LIe vIIIuge cIurcI we guLIered round u cupILuI
meuI In LIe dInIng-room oI LIe brIde's Iome, brIgIL wILI copper cookIng-vesseIs. Soon uILer-
wurds LIe newIy wedded puIr drove oII wILI oId TIomus Lo LIe sLuLIon uL WeIssenIeIs, Lo begIn
LIe journey Lo Dresden; LIe weddIng guesLs sLIII suL uwIIIe over ¡ruu ¡uder's good IruIL IIqueurs.
AdrIun und ¡ Look u wuIk LIuL uILernoon Lo LIe Cow TrougI und up MounL ZIon. We needed Lo
LuIk over LIe LexL oI Lote's Lcbour's Lost, wIIcI ¡ Iud underLuken und ubouL wIIcI we Iud
uIreudy Iud mucI dIscussIon und correspondence. ¡ Iud been ubIe Lo send IIm Irom ALIens und
Syrucuse LIe scenurIo und purLs oI LIe Germun versIIIcuLIon, In wIIcI ¡ bused myseII on TIeck
und HerLzberg und occusIonuIIy, wIen condensuLIon wus necessury, udded someLIIng oI my own
In us udequuLe u sLyIe us possIbIe. ¡ wus deLermIned uL IeusL Lo puL beIore IIm u Germun versIon
oI LIe IIbreLLo, uILIougI Ie sLIII sLuck Lo IIs projecL oI composIng LIe operu In EngIIsI.
He wus vIsIbIy gIud Lo geL uwuy Irom LIe weddIng purLy und ouL oI doors. TIe cIoud over IIs
eyes sIowed LIuL Ie wus suIIerIng Irom IeuducIe. ¡L Iud been odd, In cIurcI und uL LIe LubIe, Lo
see LIe sume sIgn In IIs IuLIer Loo. TIuL LIIs nervous compIuInL seL In precIseIy on IesLuI
occusIons, under LIe InIIuence oI emoLIon und excILemenL, Is undersLundubIe. ¡L wus so wILI LIe
eIder mun. ¡n LIe son's cuse LIe psycIIcuI ground wus ruLIer LIuL Ie Iud Luken purL onIy oI
necessILy und wILI reIucLunce In LIIs sucrIIIcIuI IeusL oI u muIdenIeud, In wIIcI, moreover, IIs
own sIsLer wus concerned. AL IeusL Ie cIoLIed IIs dIscomIorL In words wIIcI recognIzed LIe
sImpIIcILy, good LusLe, und InIormuIILy oI our uIIuIr, LIe ubsence oI "cusLoms und curLsyIngs" us
Ie puL IL. He uppIuuded LIe IucL LIuL IL Iud uII Luken pIuce In broud duyIIgIL, LIe weddIng sermon
Iud been sIorL und sImpIe, und uL LubIe LIere Iud been no oIIensIve speecIes - or ruLIer, Lo
uvoId oIIence, no speecIes uL uII. ¡I LIe veII, LIe wIILe sIroud oI vIrgInILy, LIe suLIn gruve-sIoes
Iud been IeIL ouL us weII, IL wouId Iuve been sLIII beLLer. He spoke purLIcuIurIy oI LIe IuvourubIe
ImpressIon LIuL UrseI's beLroLIed, now Ier Iusbund, Iud mude upon IIm.
"Good eyes," Ie suId. "Good sLock, u sound, cIeun, IonesL mun. He couId courL Ier, Iook uL Ier
Lo desIre Ier, coveL Ier us u CIrIsLIun wIIe, us we LIeoIogIuns suy wILI jusLIIIed prIde uL swIndIIng
LIe DevII ouL oI LIe curnuI concomILunL und mukIng u sucrumenL oI IL, LIe sucrumenL oI CIrIsLIun
murrIuge. Very droII, reuIIy, LIIs LurnIng LIe nuLuruI und sInIuI InLo LIe sucrosuncL jusL by puLLIng
In LIe word CIrIsLIun - by wIIcI IL Is noL IundumenLuIIy uILered. BuL one Ius Lo udmIL LIuL LIe
domesLIcuLIon oI sex, wIIcI Is evII by nuLure, InLo CIrIsLIun murrIuge wus u cIever mukesIIIL."
"¡ do noL IIke," ¡ repIIed, "Lo Iuve you muke over LIe nuLuruI Lo evII. HumunIsm, oId und new,
consIders LIuL un uspersIon on LIe sources oI IIIe."
"My deur cIup, LIere Is noL mucI LIere Lo usperse."
"One ends," ¡ suId undeLerred, "by denyIng LIe works oI God; one becomes LIe udvocuLe oI
noLIIng. WIo beIIeves In LIe DevII, uIreudy beIongs Lo IIm."
He guve IIs sIorL IuugI.
"You never undersLund u joke. ¡ spoke us u LIeoIogIun und so necessurIIy IIke u LIeoIogIun."
"Never mInd," ¡ suId, IuugIIng us weII. "You usuuIIy Luke your jokes more serIousIy LIun your
serIousness." We currIed on LIIs conversuLIon on LIe communILy bencI under LIe mupIe Lrees on
MounL ZIon, In LIe sunsIIne oI LIe uuLumn uILernoon. TIe IucL wus LIuL uL LIuL LIme ¡ myseII wus
goIng courLIng, LIougI LIe weddIng und even LIe pubIIc engugemenL Iud Lo wuIL on my beIng
conIIrmed In my posILIon. ¡ wunLed Lo LeII IIm ubouL HeIene und oI my proposed sLep, buL IIs
remurks dId noL precIseIy encouruge me.
"And LIey LwuIn sIuII be one IIesI," Ie begun uguIn: "¡s IL noL u curIous bIessIng? PusLor
ScIroder, LIunk God, spured IImseII LIe quoLuLIon. ¡n LIe presence oI LIe brIduI puIr IL Is ruLIer
puInIuI Lo Ieur. BuL IL Is onIy Loo weII meunL, und precIseIy wIuL ¡ meun by domesLIcuLIon.
ObvIousIy LIe eIemenL oI sIn, oI sensuuIILy, oI evII IusL uILogeLIer, Is conjured uwuy ouL oI
murrIuge - Ior IusL Is cerLuInIy onIy In IIesI oI Lwo dIIIerenL kInds, noL In one, und LIuL LIey ure
Lo be one IIesI Is uccordIngIy sooLIIng buL nonsensIcuI. On LIe oLIer Iund, one cunnoL wonder
enougI LIuL one IIesI Ius IusL Ior unoLIer; IL Is u pIenomenon - weII, yes, LIe enLIreIy
excepLIonuI pIenomenon oI Iove. OI course, Iove und sensuuIILy ure noL Lo be sepuruLed. One besL
ubsoIves Iove Irom LIe reproucI oI sensuuIILy by IdenLIIyIng LIe Iove eIemenL In sensuuIILy ILseII.
TIe IusL uILer sLrunge IIesI meuns u conquesL oI prevIousIy exIsLIng resIsLunces, bused on LIe
sLrungeness oI ¡ und You, your own und LIe oLIer person's. TIe IIesI - Lo keep LIe CIrIsLIun Ler-
mInoIogy - Is normuIIy InoIIensIve Lo ILseII onIy. WILI unoLIer's IL wIII Iuve noLIIng Lo do. Now,
II uII uL once LIe sLrunge IIesI become LIe objecL oI desIre und IusL, LIen LIe reIuLIon oI LIe ¡ und
LIe You Is uILered In u wuy Ior wIIcI sensuuIILy Is onIy un empLy word. No, one cunnoL geL uIong
wILIouL LIe concepL oI Iove, even wIen osLensIbIy LIere Is noLIIng spIrILuuI In pIuy. Every
sensuuI ucL meuns Lenderness, IL Is u gIve und Luke oI desIre, IuppIness LIrougI mukIng Iuppy, u
munIIesLuLIon oI Iove. 'One IIesI' Iuve Iovers never been; und LIe prescrIpLIon wouId drIve Iove
uIong wILI IusL ouL oI murrIuge."
¡ wus pecuIIurIy upseL und bewIIdered by IIs words und Look cure noL Lo Iook uL IIm, LIougI ¡
wus LempLed. ¡ wroLe down ubove Iow ¡ uIwuys IeIL wIen Ie spoke oI LIe LIIngs oI LIe IIesI. BuL
Ie Iud never come ouL oI IImseII IIke LIIs, und IL seemed Lo me LIuL LIere wus someLIIng expIIcIL
und unIIke IIm ubouL LIe wuy Ie spoke, u kInd oI LucLIessness Loo, uguInsL IImseII und uIso
uguInsL IIs uudILor. ¡L dIsLurbed me, LogeLIer wILI LIe Ideu LIuL Ie suId IL wIen IIs eyes were
Ieuvy wILI IeuducIe. YeL wILI LIe sense oI IL ¡ wus enLIreIy In sympuLIy.
"WeII roured, IIon!" ¡ suId, us IIgILIy us possIbIe. "TIuL Is wIuL ¡ cuII sLundIng up Lo IL! No, you
Iuve noLIIng Lo do wILI LIe DevII. You do know LIuL you Iuve spoken mucI more us u IumunIsL
LIun us u LIeoIogIun?"
"¡eL us suy u psycIoIogIsL," Ie responded. "A neuLruI posILIon. BuL LIey ure, ¡ LIInk, LIe mosL
LruLI-IovIng peopIe."
"And Iow wouId IL be," ¡ proposed, "II we jusL once spoke quILe sImpIy, personuIIy und IIke
ordInury cILIzens? ¡ wunLed Lo LeII you LIuL ¡ um ubouL Lo - "
¡ LoId IIm wIuL ¡ wus ubouL Lo do, LoId IIm ubouL HeIene, Iow ¡ Iud meL Ier und we Iud goL Lo
know eucI oLIer. ¡I, ¡ suId, IL wouId muke IIs congruLuIuLIons uny wurmer, Ie mIgIL be ussured
LIuL ¡ dIspensed IIm beIoreIund Irom uny "cusLoms und curLsy-Ings" uL my weddIng IeusL.
He wus greuLIy enIIvened.
"WonderIuI!" Ie crIed. "My deuresL IeIIow - wIIL murry LIyseII! WIuL u goodIy Ideu! SucI
LIIngs uIwuys Luke one by surprIse, LIougI LIere Is noLIIng surprIsIng ubouL LIem. AccepL my
bIessIng! 'BuL, II LIou murry, Iung me by LIe neck, II Iorns LIuL yeur mIscurry!'"
" 'Come, come, you LuIk greusIIy,'" ¡ quoLed ouL oI LIe sume scene. "¡I you knew LIe gIrI und LIe
spIrIL oI our bond, LIen you wouId know LIuL LIere Is no need Lo Ieur Ior my peuce oI mInd, buL
LIuL on LIe conLrury everyLIIng Is dIrecLed Lowurds LIe IounduLIon oI Iove und LrunquIIIILy, u
IIxed und undIsLurbed IuppIness."
"¡ do noL doubL IL," suId Ie, "und doubL noL oI ILs success."
A momenL Ie seemed LempLed Lo press my Iund, buL desIsLed. TIere cume u puuse In LIe LuIk,
LIen us we wuIked Iome IL Lurned Lo our uII-ImporLunL LopIc, LIe operu, und LIe scene In LIe
IourLI ucL, wILI LIe LexL oI wIIcI we Iud been jokIng, und wIIcI wus umong LIose ¡ deIInILeIy
wunLed Lo Ieuve ouL. ¡Ls verbuI skIrmIsI wus reuIIy oIIensIve, und drumuLIcuIIy IL wus noL
IndIspensubIe. ¡n uny cuse LIere Iud Lo be cuLs. A comedy sIouId noL IusL Iour Iours - LIuL wus
und remuIns LIe prIncIpuI objecLIon Lo LIe Meister-sinçer. BuL AdrIun seemed Lo Iuve pIunned Lo
use precIseIy LIe "oId suyIngs" oI RosuIIne und BoyeL, LIe "TIou cunsL noL IIL IL, IIL IL, IIL IL," und
so on Ior LIe conLrupunLuI pussuges oI IIs overLure, und uILogeLIer IuggIed over every epIsode,
uILIougI Ie Iud Lo IuugI wIen ¡ suId LIuL Ie remInded me oI KreLscImur's BeIsseI und IIs nuIve
zeuI Lo seL IuII LIe worId Lo musIc. AnyIow Ie denIed beIng emburrussed by LIe compurIson. He
sLIII reLuIned some oI LIe IuII-Iumorous respecL Ie Iud IeIL wIen Ie IIrsL Ieurd ubouL LIe
wonderIuI novIce und IuwgIver oI musIc. AbsurdIy enougI, Ie Iud never quILe ceused Lo LIInk oI
IIm, und IuLeIy Iud LIougIL oI IIm oILener LIun ever.
"Remember," Ie suId, "Iow ¡ once deIended IIs cIIIdIsI Lyrunny wILI LIe 'musLer' und
'servunL' noLes uguInsL your reproucI oI sIIIy ruLIonuIIsm. WIuL InsLIncLIveIy pIeused me wus ILseII
someLIIng InsLIncLIve, In nuIve ugreemenL wILI LIe spIrIL oI musIc: LIe wIsI, wIIcI sIowed ILseII
In u comIc wuy, Lo wrILe someLIIng In LIe nuLure oI LIe 'sLrIcL sLyIe.' On unoLIer, Iess cIIIdIsI
pIune we wouId need peopIe IIke IIm, jusL us IIs IIock Iud need oI IIm LIen: we need u sysLem-
musLer, u LeucIer oI LIe objecLIve und orgunIzuLIon, wILI enougI genIus Lo unILe LIe oId-
esLubIIsIed, LIe urcIuIc, wILI LIe revoIuLIonury. One ougIL Lo - "
He Iud Lo IuugI.
"¡'m LuIkIng IIke ScIIIdknupp. One ougIL Lo. WIuL uII ougIL one noL Lo?"
"WIuL you suy," ¡ LIrew In, "ubouL LIe urcIuIc-revoIuLIonury scIooImusLer Ius someLIIng very
Germun ubouL IL."
"¡ Luke IL," Ie responded, "LIuL you use LIe word noL us u compIImenL, buL In u descrIpLIve und
crILIcuI wuy, us you sIouId. However, IL couId meun someLIIng necessury Lo LIe LIme, someLIIng
promIsIng u remedy In un uge oI desLroyed convenLIons und LIe reIuxIng oI uII objecLIve
obIIguLIons - In sIorL, oI u Ireedom LIuL begIns Lo IIe IIke u mIIdew upon LuIenL und Lo beLruy
Lruces oI sLerIIILy."
¡ sLurLed uL LIe word. Hurd Lo suy wIy, buL In IIs mouLI, uILogeLIer In connecLIon wILI IIm,
LIere wus someLIIng dIsmuyIng ubouL IL, someLIIng wIereIn unxIeLy mIxed In un odd wuy wILI
reverence. ¡L cume Irom LIe IucL LIuL In IIs neIgIbourIood sLerIIILy, LIreuLened puruIysIs, urresL
oI producLIvILy couId be LIougIL oI onIy us someLIIng posILIve und proud, onIy In connecLIon
wILI pure und IoILy InLeIIecLuuIILy.
"¡L wouId be LrugIc," ¡ suId, "II unIruILIuIness sIouId ever be LIe resuIL oI Ireedom. BuL LIere Is
uIwuys LIe Iope oI LIe reIeuse oI LIe producLIve powers, Ior LIe suke oI wIIcI Ireedom Is
ucIIeved."
"True," Ie responded. "And sIe does Ior u wIIIe ucIIeve wIuL sIe promIsed. BuL Ireedom Is oI
course unoLIer word Ior subjecLIvILy, und some IIne duy sIe does noL IoId ouL uny Ionger, some
LIme or oLIer sIe despuIrs oI LIe possIbIIILy oI beIng creuLIve ouL oI IerseII und seeks sIeILer und
securILy In LIe objecLIve. ¡reedom uIwuys IncIInes Lo dIuIecLIc reversuIs. SIe reuIIzes IerseII very
soon In consLruInL, IuIIIIs IerseII In LIe subordInuLIon Lo Iuw, ruIe, coercIon, sysLem - buL Lo
IuIIII IerseII LIereIn does noL meun sIe LIereIore ceuses Lo be Ireedom."
"¡n your opInIon," ¡ IuugIed: "So Iur us sIe knows. BuL ucLuuIIy sIe Is no Ionger Ireedom, us
IILLIe us dIcLuLorsIIp born ouL oI revoIuLIon Is sLIII Ireedom."
"Are you sure oI IL?" Ie usked. "BuL unyIow LIuL Is LuIkIng poIILIcs. ¡n urL, uL IeusL, LIe
subjecLIve und LIe objecLIve InLerLwIne Lo LIe poInL oI beIng IndIsLInguIsIubIe, one proceeds Irom
LIe oLIer und Lukes LIe cIurucLer oI LIe oLIer, LIe subjecLIve precIpILuLes us objecLIve und by
genIus Is uguIn uwuked Lo sponLuneILy, 'dynumIzed,' us we suy; IL speuks uII uL once LIe Iunguuge
oI LIe subjecLIve. TIe musIcuI convenLIons Loduy desLroyed were noL uIwuys so objecLIve, so
objecLIveIy Imposed. TIey were crysLuIIIzuLIons oI IIvIng experIences und us sucI Iong perIormed
un oIIIce oI vILuI ImporLunce: LIe Lusk oI orgunIzuLIon. OrgunIzuLIon Is everyLIIng. WILIouL IL
LIere Is noLIIng, IeusL oI uII urL. And IL wus uesLIeLIc subjecLIvILy LIuL Look on LIe Lusk, IL
underLook Lo orgunIze LIe work ouL oI ILseII, In Ireedom."
"You ure LIInkIng oI BeeLIoven."
"OI IIm und oI LIe LecInIcuI prIncIpIe LIrougI wIIcI u domInuLIng subjecLIvILy goL IoId oI LIe
musIcuI orgunIzuLIon; ¡ meun LIe deveIopmenL, or workIng ouL. TIe deveIopmenL ILseII Iud been
u smuII purL oI LIe sonuLu, u modesL repubIIc oI subjecLIve IIIumInuLIon und dynumIc. WILI
BeeLIoven IL becomes unIversuI, becomes LIe cenLre oI LIe wIoIe Iorm, wIIcI, even wIere IL Is
supposed Lo remuIn convenLIonuI", Is ubsorbed by LIe subjecLIve und Is newIy creuLed In
Ireedom. TIe Iorm oI vurIuLIons, someLIIng urcIuIc, u resIduum, becomes u meuns by wIIcI Lo
InIuse new IIIe InLo Iorm. TIe prIncIpIe oI deveIopmenL pIus vurIuLIon LecInIque exLends over LIe
wIoIe sonuLu. ¡L does LIuL In BruIms, us LIemuLIc workIng-ouL, even more rudIcuIIy. Tuke IIm us
un exumpIe oI Iow subjecLIvILy Lurns InLo objecLIvILy. ¡n IIm musIc ubsLuIns Irom uII
convenLIonuI IIourIsIes, IormuIus, und resIduu und so Lo speuk creuLes LIe unILy oI LIe work
unew uL every momenL, ouL oI Ireedom. BuL precIseIy on LIuL uccounL Ireedom becomes LIe
prIncIpIe oI un uII-round economy LIuL Ieuves In musIc noLIIng cusuuI, und deveIops LIe uLmosL
dIversILy wIIIe udIerIng Lo LIe IdenLIcuI muLerIuI. WIere LIere Is noLIIng unLIemuLIc IeIL, noLI-
Ing wIIcI couId noL sIow ILseII Lo derIve Irom LIe sume busIc muLerIuI, LIere one cun no Ionger
speuk oI u 'Iree sLyIe.' "
"And noL oI LIe 'sLrIcL sLyIe' In LIe oId sense, eILIer!"
"OId or new, ¡ wIII LeII you wIuL ¡ undersLund by 'sLrIcL sLyIe.' ¡ meun LIe compIeLe InLegruLIon
oI uII musIcuI dImensIons, LIeIr neuLruIILy Lowurds eucI oLIer due Lo compIeLe orgunIzuLIon."
"Do you see u wuy Lo do LIuL?"
"Do you know," Ie counLered, "wIen ¡ cume neuresL Lo LIe 'sLrIcL sLyIe'?"
¡ wuILed. He spoke so Iow us Lo be Iurd Lo Ieur, und beLween IIs LeeLI, us Ie used Lo wIen Ie
Iud IeuducIe.
"Once In LIe BrenLuno cycIe," Ie suId, "In 'D lieb Mcdel.' TIuL song Is enLIreIy derIved Irom u
IundumenLuI IIgure, u serIes oI InLercIungeubIe InLervuIs, LIe IIve noLes B, E, A, E, E-IIuL, und LIe
IorIzonLuI meIody und LIe verLIcuI Iurmony ure deLermIned und conLroIIed by IL, In so Iur us LIuL
Is possIbIe wILI u busIc moLII oI so Iew noLes. ¡L Is IIke u word, u key word, sLumped on everyLIIng
In LIe song, wIIcI IL wouId IIke Lo deLermIne enLIreIy. BuL IL Is Loo sIorL u word und In ILseII noL
IIexIbIe enougI. TIe LonuI spuce IL uIIords Is Loo IImILed. One wouId Iuve Lo go on Irom Iere und
muke Iurger words ouL oI LIe LweIve IeLLers, us IL were, oI LIe Lempered semILone uIpIubeL. Words
oI LweIve IeLLers, cerLuIn combInuLIons und InLerreIuLIons oI LIe LweIve semILones, serIes oI noLes
Irom wIIcI u pIece und uII LIe movemenLs oI u work musL sLrIcLIy derIve. Every noLe oI LIe wIoIe
composILIon, boLI meIody und Iurmony, wouId Iuve Lo sIow ILs reIuLIon Lo LIIs IIxed
IundumenLuI serIes. NoL one mIgIL recur unLII LIe oLIer noLes Iuve sounded. NoL one mIgIL
uppeur wIIcI dId noL IuIIII ILs IuncLIon In LIe wIoIe sLrucLure. TIere wouId no Ionger be u Iree
noLe. TIuL Is wIuL ¡ wouId cuII 'sLrIcL composILIon.' "
"A sLrIkIng LIougIL," suId ¡. "RuLIonuI orgunIzuLIon LIrougI und LIrougI, one mIgIL Indeed
cuII IL. You wouId guIn un exLruordInury unILy und congruILy, u sorL oI usLronomIcuI reguIurILy
und IeguIILy wouId be obLuIned LIereby. BuL wIen ¡ pIcLure IL Lo myseII, IL seems Lo me LIuL LIe
uncIunged recurrence oI sucI u successIon oI InLervuIs, even wIen used In dIIIerenL purLs oI LIe
LexLure, und In rIyLImIc vurIuLIons, wouId resuIL In u probubIy unuvoIdubIe serIous musIcuI
ImpoverIsImenL und sLugnuLIon."
"ProbubIy," Ie unswered, wILI u smIIe wIIcI sIowed LIuL Ie Iud been prepured Ior LIIs
reservuLIon. ¡L wus LIe smIIe LIuL brougIL ouL sLrongIy IIs IIkeness Lo IIs moLIer, buL wILI LIe Iu-
mIIIur Iook oI sLruIn wIIcI IL wouId sIow under pressure oI LIe mIgruIne.
"And IL Is noL so sImpIe eILIer. One musL IncorporuLe InLo LIe sysLem uII possIbIe LecInIques oI
vurIuLIon, IncIudIng LIose decrIed us urLIIIcIuI; LIuL Is, LIe meuns wIIcI once IeIped LIe 'deveIop-
menL' Lo wIn ILs IoId over LIe sonuLu. ¡ usk myseII wIy ¡ prucLIsed so Iong under KreLscImur LIe
devIces oI LIe oId counLerpoInL und covered so mucI puper wILI InversIon Iugues, crubs, und
InversIons oI crubs. WeII now, uII LIuL sIouId come In Iundy Ior LIe IngenIous modIIIcuLIon oI
LIe LweIve-noLe word. ¡n uddILIon Lo beIng u IundumenLuI serIes IL couId IInd uppIIcuLIon In LIIs
wuy, LIuL every one oI ILs InLervuIs Is repIuced by ILs InversIon. AguIn, one couId begIn LIe IIgure
wILI ILs IusL noLe und IInIsI IL on ILs IIrsL, und LIen InverL LIIs IIgure us weII. So LIen you Iuve
Iour modes, eucI oI wIIcI cun be Lrunsposed Lo uII LIe LweIve noLes oI LIe cIromuLIc scuIe, so
LIuL IorLy-eIgIL dIIIerenL versIons oI LIe busIc serIes muy be used In u composILIon und wIuLever
oLIer vurIuLIonuI dIversIons muy presenL LIemseIves. A composILIon cun uIso use Lwo or more
serIes us busIc muLerIuI, us In LIe doubIe und LrIpIe Iugue. TIe decIsIve IucLor Is LIuL every noLe,
wILIouL excepLIon, Ius sIgnIIIcunce und IuncLIon uccordIng Lo ILs pIuce In LIe busIc serIes or ILs
derIvuLIves. TIuL wouId guurunLee wIuL ¡ cuII LIe IndIIIerence Lo Iurmony und meIody."
"A mugIc squure," ¡ suId. "BuL do you Iope Lo Iuve peopIe Ieur uII LIuL?"
"Heur?" Ie counLered. "Do you remember u cerLuIn IecLure gIven Ior LIe SocIeLy Ior LIe
Common WeuI Irom wIIcI IL IoIIowed LIuL In musIc one cerLuInIy need noL Ieur everyLIIng? ¡I by
'IeurIng' you undersLund LIe precIse reuIIzuLIon In deLuII oI LIe meuns by wIIcI LIe IIgIesL und
sLrIcLesL order Is ucIIeved, IIke LIe order oI LIe pIuneLs, u cosmIc order und IeguIILy - no, LIuL
wuy one wouId noL Ieur IL. BuL LIIs order one wIII or wouId Ieur, und LIe percepLIon oI IL wouId
uIIord un unknown uesLIeLIc suLIsIucLIon."
"Very remurkubIe," suId ¡. "TIe wuy you descrIbe LIe LIIng, IL comes Lo H sorL oI composIng
beIore composILIon. TIe wIoIe dIsposILIon und orgunIzuLIon oI LIe muLerIuI wouId Iuve Lo be
reudy wIen LIe ucLuuI work sIouId begIn, und uII one usks Is: wIIcI Is LIe ucLuuI work? ¡or LIIs
prepuruLIon oI LIe muLerIuI Is done by vurIuLIon, und LIe creuLIve eIemenL In vurIuLIon, wIIcI one
mIgIL cuII LIe ucLuuI composILIon, wouId be LrunsIerred buck Lo LIe muLerIuI ILseII - LogeLIer
wILI LIe Ireedom oI LIe composer. WIen Ie wenL Lo work, Ie wouId no Ionger be Iree."
"Bound by u seII-Imposed compuIsIon Lo order, Ience Iree."
"WeII, oI course LIe dIuIecLIc oI Ireedom Is unIuLIomubIe. BuL Ie couId scurceIy be cuIIed u Iree
InvenLor oI IIs Iurmony. WouId noL LIe mukIng oI cIords be IeIL Lo cIunce und uccIdenL?"
"Suy, ruLIer, Lo LIe conLexL. TIe poIypIonIc dIgnILy oI every cIord-IormIng noLe wouId be
guurunLeed by LIe consLeIIuLIon. TIe IIsLorIcuI evenLs - LIe emuncIpuLIon oI dIssonunce Irom ILs
resoIuLIon, ILs becomIng 'ubsoIuLe' us IL uppeurs uIreudy In some pussuges oI LIe IuLer Wugner -
wouId wurrunL uny combInuLIon oI noLes wIIcI cun jusLIIy ILseII beIore LIe sysLem."
"And II LIe consLeIIuLIon produced LIe bunuI: consonunce, common-cIord IurmonIcs, LIe
worn-ouL, LIe dImInIsIed sevenLI?"
"TIuL wouId be u rejuvenuLIon oI LIe worn-ouL by LIe consLeIIuLIon."
"¡ see LIere u resLoruLIve eIemenL In your ULopIu. ¡L Is very rudIcuI, buL IL reIuxes LIe
proIIbILIon wIIcI uILer uII uIreudy Iung over consonunce. TIe reLurn Lo LIe uncIenL Iorms oI
vurIuLIon Is u sImIIur sIgn."
"More InLeresLIng pIenomenu," Ie responded, "probubIy uIwuys Iuve LIIs doubIe Iuce oI pusL
und IuLure, probubIy ure uIwuys progressIve und regressIve In one. TIey dIspIuy LIe
equIvocuIness oI IIIe ILseII."
"¡s LIuL noL u generuIIzuLIon?"
"OI wIuL?"
"OI our domesLIc experIences us u nuLIon?"
"OI, IeL us noL be IndIscreeL! Or IIuLLer ourseIves eILIer. AII ¡ wunL Lo suy Is LIuL our objecLIons
- II LIey ure meunL us objecLIons - wouId noL counL uguInsL LIe IuIIIImenL oI LIe oId, LIe ever
repeuLed demund Lo Luke IoId und muke order, und Lo resoIve LIe mugIc essence oI musIc InLo
Iumun reuson."
"You wunL Lo puL me on my Ionour us u IumunIsL," suId ¡. "Humun reuson! And besIdes,
excuse me; 'consLeIIuLIon' Is your every oLIer word. BuL sureIy IL beIongs more Lo usLroIogy. TIe
ruLIonuIIsm you cuII Ior Ius u good deuI oI supersLILIon ubouL IL - oI beIIeI In LIe
IncompreIensIbIy und vugueIy duemonIc, LIe kInd oI LIIng we Iuve In gumes oI cIunce, IorLune-
LeIIIng wILI curds, und sIukIng dIce. ConLrury Lo wIuL you suy, your sysLem seems Lo me more
cuIcuIuLed Lo dIssoIve Iumun reuson In mugIc."
He currIed IIs cIosed Iund Lo IIs brow.
"Reuson und mugIc," suId Ie, "muy meeL und become one In LIuL wIIcI one cuIIs wIsdom,
InILIuLIon; In beIIeI In LIe sLurs, In numbers... "
¡ dId noL go on, us ¡ suw LIuL Ie wus In puIn. And uII LIuL Ie Iud suId seemed Lo me Lo beur LIe
murk oI suIIerIng, Lo sLund In ILs sIgn, Iowever InLeIIecLuuIIy remurkubIe IL muy Iuve been. He
IImseII seemed noL Lo cure Ior more conversuLIon; IIs IdIe IummIng und sIgIIng beLruyed LIe
IucL us we suunLered on. ¡ IeIL, oI course, vexed und InwurdIy sIook my Ieud, sIIenLIy reIIecLIng us
¡ wuIked LIuL u mun's LIougILs mIgIL be cIurucLerIzed by suyIng LIuL Ie Iud u IeuducIe; buL LIuL
dId noL muke LIem Iess sIgnIIIcunL.
We spoke IILLIe on LIe resL oI LIe wuy Iome. ¡ recuII LIuL we puused by LIe Cow TrougI, Look u
Iew sLeps uwuy Irom LIe puLI und Iooked InLo IL, wILI LIe reIIecLIon oI LIe seLLIng sun In our
Iuces. TIe wuLer wus cIeur: one couId see LIuL LIe boLLom wus IIuL onIy neur LIe edge; IL IeII oII
rupIdIy InLo durkness. TIe pond wus known Lo be very deep In LIe mIddIe.
"CoId," suId AdrIun, moLIonIng wILI IIs Ieud; "mucI Loo coId Lo buLIe. - CoId," Ie repeuLed u
momenL IuLer, LIIs LIme wILI u deIInILe sIIver, und Lurned uwuy.
My duLIes obIIged me Lo go buck LIuL evenIng Lo KuIsersuscIern. He IImseII deIuyed u Iew duys
Ionger IIs depurLure Ior MunIcI, wIere Ie Iud decIded Lo seLLIe. ¡ see IIm pressIng IIs IuLIer's
Iund In IureweII - Ior LIe IusL LIme; Ie knew IL noL. ¡ see IIs moLIer kIss IIm und, perIups In LIe
sume wuy us sIe Iud done LIuL LIme wILI KreLscImur In LIe IIvIng-room, Ieun IIs Ieud on Ier
sIouIder. He wus noL Lo reLurn Lo Ier, Ie never dId. SIe cume Lo IIm.

CHAPTIR XXIII
''He LIuL wouId euL LIe kerneI musL cruck LIe nuL," Ie wroLe Lo me, copyIng KumpI, Irom LIe
BuvurIun cupILuI u Iew weeks IuLer. He meunL LIuL Ie Iud begun LIe composILIon oI Lote's
Lcbour's Lost, und Ie urged me Lo send LIe resL oI LIe LexL. He needed, Ie suId, Lo be ubIe Lo see
IL us u wIoIe, und Ie wunLed, Ior LIe suke oI provIdIng musIcuI IInks und connecLIons, Lo
unLIcIpuLe LIe seLLIng oI some IuLer purLs oI LIe IIbreLLo.
He IIved In LIe RumbergsLrusse, neur LIe Acudemy, us u Iodger wILI LIe wIdow oI u SenuLor
Irom Bremen, numed Rodde, wIo wILI Ier Lwo duugILers occupIed u ground-IIoor IIuL In u sLIII
new Iouse. TIe room LIey guve IIm, IronLIng LIe quIeL sLreeL, Lo LIe rIgIL oI LIe enLrunce door,
uppeuIed Lo IIm on uccounL oI ILs cIeunIIness und ImpersonuIIy comIorLubIe IurnIsIIngs. He Iud
soon IuIIy mude IL IIs own wILI more InLImuLe beIongIngs, books und noLes. TIere wus Indeed
one ruLIer poInLIess decoruLIon, reIIc oI some pusL enLIusIusm, Irumed In nuLwood, on LIe IeIL-
Iund wuII: GIucomo Meyerbeer uL LIe pIuno, wILI InspIred guze uLLuckIng LIe keys, surrounded
by LIe IoverIng Iorms oI cIurucLers Irom IIs operus. However, LIe upoLIeosIs dId noL Loo mucI
dIspIeuse LIe young muesLro, und wIen Ie suL In LIe buskeL-cIuIr uL IIs work-LubIe, u sImpIe
green-covered exLensIon-LubIe, Ie Iud IIs buck Lo IL. So Ie IeL IL sLuy.
A IILLIe IurmonIum, wIIcI mIgIL remInd IIm oI eurIy duys, sLood In IIs room und wus oI use Lo
IIm. BuL us LIe ¡ruu SenuLor kepL mosLIy Lo LIe gurden sIde oI LIe Iouse, In LIe reur, und LIe
duugILers were InvIsIbIe In LIe mornIngs, LIe grund pIuno In LIe suIon, u ruLIer oId buL soIL-
Loned BecIsLeIn, wus uIso uL IIs servIce. TIIs suIon wus IurnIsIed wILI upIoIsLered IuuLeuIIs,
bronze cundeIubru, IILLIe gIIL "occusIonuI cIuIrs," u soIu-LubIe wILI u brocude cover, und u rIcIIy
Irumed, very mucI durkened oII puInLIng oI 18¸o, represenLIng LIe GoIden Horn wILI u vIew oI
GuIuLu. AII LIese LIIngs were eusIIy recognIzed us LIe remnunL oI u once weII-Lo-do bourgeoIs
IouseIoId. TIe suIon wus noL seIdom LIe scene oI smuII socIuI uIIuIrs, InLo wIIcI AdrIun IeL
IImseII be druwn, uL IIrsL resIsLIng, LIen us u IubIL, und IInuIIy, us cIrcumsLunces brougIL IL
ubouL, ruLIer IIke u son oI LIe Iouse. ¡L wus LIe urLIsL or IuII-urLIsL worId LIuL guLIered LIere, u
Iouse-broke BoIemIu, so Lo speuk: weII-bred yeL Iree-und-eusy, und umusIng enougI Lo IuIIII LIe
expecLuLIons LIuL Iud cuused LIe ¡ruu SenuLor Lo move Irom Bremen Lo LIe souLIern cupILuI.
¡ruu SenuLor Rodde's buckground wus eusy Lo ImugIne. Her beurIng und Iooks were IudyIIke: sIe
Iud durk eyes, neuLIy wuved IuIr onIy u IILLIe grey, un Ivory compIexIon, und pIeusunL, ruLIer
weII-preserved IeuLures. Her Iong IIIe Iud been spenL us un Ionoured member oI u puLrIcIun
socIeLy, presIdIng over u IouseIoId IuII oI servunLs und responsIbIIILIes. AILer LIe deuLI oI Ier
Iusbund (wIose soIemn IIkeness, In LIe gurb oI oIIIce, uIso udorned LIe suIon) Ier cIrcumsLunces
were greuLIy reduced, so LIuL sIe wus probubIy noL ubIe Lo muInLuIn Ier posILIon In Ier
uccusLomed mIIIeu. AL LIe sume LIme LIere were now reIeused In Ier cerLuIn sLIII keen desIres oI
un unexIuusLIbIe und probubIy never suLIsIIed Iove oI IIIe, In some IumunIy wurmer spIere. SIe
enLerLuIned, sIe expIuIned, In LIe InLeresL oI Ier duugILers, buL yeL IurgeIy, us wus preLLy cIeur, Lo
enjoy IerseII und IoId courL. One umused Ier besL wILI mIId IILLIe suIucILIes, noL goIng Loo Iur,
jokes ubouL burmuIds, modeIs, urLIsLs, Lo wIIcI sIe responded wILI u IIgI, uIIecLed, suggesLIve
IuugI Irom beLween Ier cIosed IIps.
ObvIousIy Ier duugILers, ¡nez und CIurIssu, dId noL cure Ior LIIs IuugI; LIey excIunged coId
und dIsupprovIng Iooks, wIIcI sIowed uII LIe IrrILuLIon oI grown cIIIdren uL LIe unsuLIsIIed Iu-
munILy In LIeIr moLIer's nuLure. ¡n LIe cuse oI LIe younger, CIurIssu, LIe uprooLIng ouL oI Ier
IeredILury mIddIe cIuss Iud been conscIous, deIIberuLe, und pronounced. SIe wus u LuII bIonde,
wILI Iurge IeuLures wIILened by cosmeLIcs, u IuII Iower IIp und underdeveIoped cIIn; sIe wus
prepurIng Ior u drumuLIc cureer und sLudIed wILI un eIderIy ucLor wIo pIuyed IuLIer purLs uL LIe
HoI-LIeuLer. SIe wore Ier goIden-yeIIow IuIr In boId und sLrIkIng sLyIe, under IuLs IIke
curLwIeeIs, und sIe Ioved eccenLrIc IeuLIer bous. Her ImposIng IIgure couId sLund LIese LIIngs
very weII und ubsorb LIeIr exLruvugunce InLo Ier personuIILy. Her Lendency Lo LIe mucubre und
bIzurre mude Ier InLeresLIng Lo LIe muscuIIne worId wIIcI puId Ier Iomuge. SIe Iud u suIpIur-
coIoured LomcuL numed ¡suuc, wIom sIe puL In mournIng Ior LIe deceused Pope by LyIng u bIuck
suLIn bow on IIs LuII. TIe deuLI's-Ieud moLII uppeured repeuLedIy In Ier room; LIere wus ucLuuIIy
u prepured skeIeLon, In uII IIs LooLIIness; und u bronze puperweIgIL LIuL bore LIe IoIIow-eyed
symboI oI morLuIILy und "IeuIIng" IyIng on u IoIIo beurIng LIe nume oI HIppocruLes. TIe book
wus IoIIow, LIe smooLI boLLom oI IL beIng screwed In wILI Iour LIny screws, wIIcI couId be
unscrewed wILI u IIne InsLrumenL. ¡uLer, uILer CIurIssu Iud Luken Ier IIIe wILI LIe poIson Irom
LIIs box, ¡ruu SenuLor Rodde guve me LIe objecL us u memenLo und ¡ Iuve IL sLIII.
A LrugIc deed wus uIso LIe desLIny oI LIe eIder sIsLer, ¡nez. SIe represenLed - or sIuII ¡ suy: yeL
sIe represenLed? - me conservuLIve eIemenL In LIe IILLIe IumIIy; beIng u IIvIng proLesL uguInsL ILs
LrunspIunLuLIon, uguInsL everyLIIng SouLI Germun, LIe urL-meLropoIIs, BoIemIu, Ier moLIer's
evenIng purLIes. SIe Lurned Ier Iuce obsLInuLeIy buck Lo LIe oId, puLernuI, mIddIe-cIuss sLrIcLness
und dIgnILy. SLIII one goL LIe ImpressIon LIuL LIIs conservuLIsm wus u deIence mecIunIsm uguInsL
cerLuIn LensIons und dungers In Ier own nuLure; LIougI InLeIIecLuuIIy sIe uscrIbed some
ImporLunce Lo LIese us weII. SIe wus more deIIcuLe In IIgure LIun CIurIssu, wILI wIom sIe goL on
very weII, wIereus sIe dIsLIncLIy LIougI unobLrusIveIy Lurned uwuy Irom Ier moLIer. Heuvy usI-
bIond IuIr weIgIed down Ier Ieud, so LIuL sIe IeId IL LIrusL ouL sIde-wIse, wILI exLended neck.
Her mouLI wore u pIncIed smIIe, Ier nose wus ruLIer beuked; LIe expressIon oI Ier bIue eyes,
bIurred by LIe droopIng IIds, wus weukIy, duII, suspIcIous; IL wus u Iook oI knowIedge und
suIIerIng, II noL wILIouL some eIIorL uL roguIsI-ness. Her upbrIngIng Iud been no more LIun
IIgIIy correcL: sIe Iud spenL Lwo yeurs In un urIsLocruLIc gIrIs' bourdIng-scIooI In KurIsruIe,
puLronIzed by LIe courL. SIe occupIed IerseII wILI no urL or scIence, buL IuId sLress on ucLIng us
duugILer oI LIe Iouse. SIe reud mucI, wroLe exLruordInurIIy IILerury IeLLers "buck Iome" - Lo
LIe pusL, Ier bourdIng-Iouse mIsLress und eurIIer IrIends. SecreLIy sIe wroLe verse. Her sIsLer
sIowed me one duy u poem by Ier, cuIIed "TIe MIner." ¡ sLIII remember LIe IIrsL sLunzu:
A mIner ¡ wIo In LIe durk sIuIL mInes
OI LIe souI, descendIng IeurIess Irom LIe IIgIL
To wIere LIe goIden ore oI unguIsI sIInes
WILI IugILIve prIceIess gIImmer LIrougI LIe nIgIL.
¡ Iuve IorgoLLen LIe resL, excepL LIe IusL IIne:
And never more upwurds Lo joy ¡ yeurn.
So mucI Ior LIe presenL ubouL LIe duugILers, wILI wIom AdrIun cume InLo reIuLIons us
IousemuLes. TIey boLI Iooked up Lo IIm und InIIuenced LIeIr moLIer Lo IoIIow suIL, uILIougI sIe
Iound IIm noL very "urLIsLIc." As Ior LIe guesLs oI LIe Iouse, some oI LIem, IncIudIng AdrIun, or,
us LIe IosLess suId, "our Iodger, Herr Dr. ¡everküIn," u Iurger or smuIIer group, mIgIL be InvILed
Lo supper In LIe Rodde dInIng-room, wIIcI wus IurnIsIed wILI un ouk sIdebourd mucI Loo
monumenLuI und rIcIIy curved Ior LIe room. OLIers cume In uL nIne o'cIock or IuLer, Ior musIc,
Leu und LuIk. TIere were CIurIssu's muIe und IemuIe coIIeugues, one or LIe oLIer urdenL young
mun wIo roIIed IIs r's, und gIrIs wILI voIces pIuced weII Iorwurds; u coupIe numed KnoLerIcI -
LIe mun, Konrud KnoLerIcI, u nuLIve oI MunIcI, Iooked IIke u prImILIve Germun, SugumbIun or
UbIun, Ie onIy Iucked LIe busIy LuIL on Lop. He Iud some vugueIy urLIsLIc occupuLIon, Iud
probubIy been u puInLer, buL now dubbIed uL mukIng InsLrumenLs, und pIuyed ceIIo, wIIdIy und
InuccuruLeIy, snorLIng vIoIenLIy us Ie pIuyed. HIs wIIe, NuLuIIu, uIso Iud someLIIng Lo do wILI
puInLIng; sIe wus un exoLIc bruneLLe wILI u Lruce oI SpunIsI bIood, weurIng eurrIngs und bIuck
rIngIeLs dungIIng on Ier cIeeks. TIen LIere wus u scIoIur, Dr. KrunIcI, u numIsmuLIc experL, und
Keeper oI LIe CubIneL oI CoIns: cIeur, decIded, cIeerIuI und sensIbIe In conversuLIon, LIougI wILI
u Iourse usLImuLIc voIce. TIere were Lwo IrIends, boLI puInLers beIongIng Lo LIe SecessIon
group, ¡eo ZInk und BupLIsL SpengIer; one un AusLrIun Irom neur Bozen, u jesLer by socIuI
LecInIque, un InsInuuLIng cIown, wIo In u genLIe druwI ceuseIessIy mude Iun oI IImseII und IIs
exuggeruLedIy Iong nose. He wus u IuunIsI Lype, mukIng LIe women IuugI wILI LIe reuIIy very
droII expressIon oI IIs cIose-seL eyes - uIwuys u good openIng. TIe oLIer, SpengIer, Irom cenLruI
Germuny, wILI u IIourIsIIng bIond mousLucIe, wus u scepLIcuI mun oI LIe worId, wILI some
meuns, no greuL worker, IypocIondrIuc, weII-reud, uIwuys smIIIng und bIInkIng rupIdIy us Ie
LuIked. ¡nez Rodde mIsLrusLed IIm very mucI - wIy, sIe dId noL suy, buL Lo AdrIun sIe cuIIed
IIm dIsIngenuous, u sneuk. AdrIun suId LIuL Ie Iound SpengIer InLeIIIgenL und ugreeubIe Lo LuIk
Lo. He responded mucI Iess Lo LIe udvunces oI unoLIer guesL, wIo reuIIy Look puIns Lo woo
AdrIun's reserve und sIyness. TIIs wus RudoII ScIwerdLIeger, u gIILed young vIoIInIsL, member
oI LIe ZupIensLosser OrcIesLru, wIIcI nexL Lo LIe HoILIeuLer orcIesLru pIuyed u promInenL roIe
In LIe musIcuI IIIe oI LIe Lown und In wIIcI Ie wus one oI LIe IIrsL vIoIIns. Born In Dresden, buL
In orIgIn Iow-Germun, oI medIum IeIgIL und neuL buIId, und wILI u sIock oI IIuxen IuIr, Ie Iud
LIe poIIsI, LIe pIeusIng versuLIIILy oI LIe Suxon, und wus In equuI meusure good-nuLured und
desIrous Lo pIeuse. He Ioved socIeLy und spenL uII IIs Iree LIme In uL IeusL one buL oILener Lwo or
LIree evenIng purLIes, bIIssIuIIy ubsorbed In IIIrLuLIon wILI LIe oLIer sex, young gIrIs us weII us
more muLure women. ¡eo ZInk und Ie were on u cooI, someLImes even LIckIIsI IooLIng; ¡ Iuve
oILen noLIced LIuL cIurmers do noL upprecIuLe eucI oLIer, u IucL equuIIy uppIIcubIe Lo muscuIIne
und Lo IemInIne conquIsLudores. ¡or my purL ¡ Iud noLIIng uguInsL ScIwerdLIeger, ¡ even IIked
IIm sIncereIy, und IIs eurIy, LrugIc deuLI, wIIcI Iud Ior me ILs own prIvuLe und pecuIIur Iorror,
sIook me Lo my depLIs. How cIeurIy ¡ sLIII see LIe IIgure oI LIIs young mun: IIs boyIsI wuy oI
sIruggIng up one sIouIder InsIde IIs couL und druwIng down one corner oI IIs mouLI In u
grImuce. ¡L wus IurLIer IIs nuIve IubIL Lo wuLcI someone LuIkIng, very Lense, us IL were In u Iury
oI concenLruLIon, IIs IIps curIed, IIs sLeeI-bIue eyes burrowIng InLo LIe speuker's Iuce, seemIng Lo
IIx now on one eye und now on LIe oLIer. WIuL good quuIILIes Loo dId Ie noL Iuve quILe usIde
Irom IIs LuIenL, wIIcI one mIgIL uImosL reckon us one oI IIs cIurms! ¡runkness, decency, open-
mIndedness, un urLIsLIc InLegrILy, IndIIIerence Lo money und possessIons - In sIorL, u cerLuIn
cIeunness; uII LIese Iooked ouL oI IIs - ¡ repeuL IL - beuuLIIuI sLeeI-bIue eyes und sIone In u Iuce
IuII oI youLIIuI uLLrucLIveness II jusL sIIgILIy IIke u pug dog's. He oILen pIuyed wILI LIe ¡ruu
SenuLor, wIo wus no IndIIIerenL pIunIsL- und LIus somewIuL encroucIed upon KnoLerIcI, wIo
wunLed Lo sweep IIs ceIIo, wIereus LIe compuny were IookIng Iorwurd Lo IeurIng RudoII. HIs
pIuyIng wus neuL und cuILIvuLed, IIs Lone noL Iurge, buL oI beuuLIIuI sweeLness und LecInIcuIIy noL
u IILLIe brIIIIunL. SeIdom Ius one Ieurd cerLuIn LIIngs oI VIvuIdI, VIeuxLemps und SpoIr, LIe C-
mInor SonuLu oI GrIeg, even LIe KreuLzer SonuLu, und composILIons by Cesur ¡runck, more IuuIL-
IessIy pIuyed. WILI uII LIIs Ie wus sImpIe, unLoucIed by IeLLers, buL concerned Ior LIe good
opInIon oI promInenL men oI InLeIIecL - noL onIy ouL oI vunILy, buL becuuse Ie serIousIy seL sLore
by InLercourse wILI LIem und wunLed Lo eIevuLe und round IImseII ouL by ILs meuns. He uL once
Iud IIs eye on AdrIun, puId courL Lo IIm, prucLIcuIIy negIecLIng LIe IudIes; consuILed IIs
judgmenL, usked Lo be uccompunIed - AdrIun uL LIuL LIme uIwuys reIused - sIowed IImseII
euger Ior musIcuI und exLru-musIcuI conversuLIon, und wus puL oII by no reserve or rebuII. TIuL
muy Iuve been u sIgn oI uncommon Ingenuousness; buL IL dIspIuyed unseIIconscIous
undersLundIng und nuLIve cuILure us weII. Once wIen AdrIun, on uccounL oI u IeuducIe und uLLer
dIsLusLe Ior socIeLy, Iud excused IImseII Lo LIe ¡ruu SenuLor und remuIned In IIs room,
ScIwerdLIeger suddenIy uppeured, In IIs cuL-uwuy und bIuck LIe, Lo persuude IIm, osLensIbIy on
beIuII oI severuI or uII oI LIe guesLs, Lo joIn LIem. TIey were so duII wILIouL IIm... ¡L wus even
emburrussIng, on LIe wIoIe, Ior AdrIun wus by no meuns u IIveIy socIuI usseL. ¡ do noL know II Ie
IeL IImseII be persuuded. ProbubIy IL wus In order Lo wIn IIm over LIuL ScIwerdLIeger suId Ie
wus voIcIng LIe wIsI oI LIe compuny; yeL my IrIend musL Iuve IeIL u cerLuIn pIeusunL surprIse uL
sucI InvIncIbIe uLLenLIveness. ¡ Iuve now ruLIer IuIIy InLroduced LIe personu; oI LIe Rodde suIon,
mere IIgures uL presenL, wIose ucquuInLunce, LogeLIer wILI oLIer members oI MunIcI socIeLy ¡
IuLer mude us u proIessor Irom ¡reIsIng. RüdIger ScIIIdknupp joIned LIe group quILe soon; AdrI-
un's exumpIe IuvIng InsLrucLed IIm LIuL one sIouId IIve In MunIcI InsLeud oI ¡eIpzIg, Ie puIIed
IImseII LogeLIer Lo ucL upon LIe convIcLIon. TIe pubIIsIer oI IIs LrunsIuLIons Irom EngIIsI
cIussIcs Iud IIs oIIIces In MunIcI, u IucL oI prucLIcuI ImporLunce Ior RüdIger; besIdes LIuL Ie Iud
probubIy mIssed AdrIun, wIom Ie uL once begun Lo deIIgIL wILI IIs sLorIes ubouL IIs IuLIer und
IIs "ßesichtiçen Sie jenesl" He Iud Luken u room In LIe LIIrd sLorey oI u Iouse In AmuIIensLrusse,
noL Iur Irom IIs IrIend; und LIere Ie now suL uL IIs LubIe, by nuLure quILe excepLIonuIIy In need oI
IresI uIr, LIe wIoIe wInLer LIrougI wILI wIde-open wIndows, wrupped In munLIe und pIuId,
vuporIzIng cIgureLLes und wresLIIng, IuII IuII oI IuLred, IuII pussIonuLeIy ubsorbed In IIs
probIems, und sLrIvIng uILer LIe exucL Germun vuIue Ior EngIIsI words, pIruses, und rIyLIms. AL
mIdduy Ie uLe wILI AdrIun, In LIe HoILIeuLer resLuurunL or In one oI LIe Keller In LIe cenLre oI
LIe cILy; buL very soon, LIrougI ¡eIpzIg connecLIons, Ie Iud enLree Lo prIvuLe Iouses, und
munuged usIde Irom evenIng InvILuLIons Lo Iuve Iere und LIere u cover IuId Ior IIm uL LIe
mIdduy meuI, perIups uILer Ie Iud gone sIoppIng wILI LIe IousewIIe und InLrIgued Ier by u
dIspIuy oI IIs IordIy poverLy. SucI InvILuLIons cume Irom IIs pubIIsIer, proprIeLor oI LIe IIrm oI
RudbrucI & Co. In LIe ¡ursLensLrusse; und Irom LIe ScIIugInIuuIens, un eIderIy weII-Lo-do und
cIIIdIess puIr, LIe Iusbund oI SuubIun orIgIn und u prIvuLe scIoIur, LIe wIIe Irom u MunIcI
IumIIy. TIey Iud u somewIuL gIoomy buL spIendId Iouse In LIe BrIennersLrusse, wIere LIeIr
pIIIured suIon wus LIe meeLIng-pIuce oI u socIeLy oI mIngIed urIsLocruLIc und urLIsLIc eIemenLs.
NoLIIng beLLer pIeused LIe IousewIIe, u von PIuusIg by bIrLI, LIun Lo Iuve boLI eIemenLs rep-
resenLed In LIe sume person, us In LIe GeneruIInLendunL oI LIe RoyuI TIeuLres, HIs ExceIIency
von RIedeseI, wIo wus oILen u guesL. ScIIIdknupp uIso dIned wILI LIe IndusLrIuIIsL BuIIInger, u
rIcI puper-munuIucLurer, wIo occupIed LIe bel etcçe In LIe bIock oI IIuLs buIIL by IImseII In
WIedemuyersLrusse on LIe rIver; wILI LIe IumIIy oI u dIrecLor oI LIe PscIorrbruu joInL-sLock
compuny; und In oLIer Iouses.
AL LIe ScIIugInIuuIens' RüdIger Iud uIso InLroduced AdrIun, wIo LIen, u monosyIIubIc
sLrunger, meL LIe LILIed sLurs oI LIe urLIsL worId, LIe Wugner IeroIne Tunyu OrIundu, ¡eIIx MoLLI,
IudIes Irom LIe BuvurIun courL, LIe "descendunL oI ScIIIIer," Herr von GIeIcIen-Russwurm, wIo
wroLe books on cuILuruI IIsLory; uIso oLIer wrILers wIo wroLe noLIIng uL uII buL mude LIemseIves
socIuIIy InLeresLIng us specIuIIsLs In LIe urL oI conversuLIon, superIIcIuIIy und wILIouL LungIbIe
resuILs. However, IL wus Iere LIuL AdrIun mude LIe ucquuInLunce oI JeuneLLe ScIeurI, u womun oI
pecuIIur cIurm und sIncerILy, u good Len yeurs oIder LIun Ie, duugILer oI u deceused BuvurIun
governmenL oIIIcIuI. Her moLIer wus u PurIsIun, u puruIysed oId Iudy, conIIned Lo Ier cIuIr buL
IuII oI menLuI energy, wIo Iud never gIven IerseII LIe LroubIe oI IeurnIng Germun. SIe Iud no
need Lo, sInce ¡rencI wus by good IorLune generuIIy LIe mode und Iers so Lo speuk run on
wIeeIs, guInIng Ier boLI IIvIng und posILIon. Mme ScIeurI IIved neur LIe BoLunIcuI Gurdens wILI
Ier LIree duugILers, oI wIom JeuneLLe wus LIe eIdesL; LIeIr quurLers were smuII, LIe uLmospIere
enLIreIy PurIsIun. ¡n Ier IILLIe suIon sIe guve exLruordInurIIy popuIur musk cuI Leus, wIere LIe
exempIury orguns oI LIe courL sIngers muIe und IemuIe IIIIed LIe IILLIe rooms Lo bursLIng, und LIe
bIue coucIes Irom LIe courL oILen sLood In IronL oI LIe Iouse.
JeuneLLe wus u wrILer oI noveIs. Grown up beLween Lwo Iunguuges, sIe wroLe IudyIIke und
orIgInuI sLudIes oI socIeLy In u cIurmIngIy IncorrecL IdIom pecuIIur Lo IerseII uIone. TIey dId noL
Iuck psycIoIogIcuI or meIodIc cIurm und were deIInILeIy u IILerury ucIIevemenL. SIe noLIced
AdrIun uL once, und Look Lo IIm; Ie, In IIs Lurn, IeIL uL Iome In Ier presence und conversuLIon.
SIe wus urIsLocruLIcuIIy ugIy und good Iorm, wILI u Iuce IIke u sIeep, wIere LIe IIgI-born und
LIe Iow-born meL, jusL us In Ier speecI Ier ¡rencI wus mIngIed wILI BuvurIun dIuIecL. SIe wus
exLruordInurIIy InLeIIIgenL und uL LIe sume LIme enveIoped In LIe nuIveIy InquIrIng Innocence oI
LIe spInsLer no Ionger young. Her mInd Iud someLIIng IIuLLerIng und quuInLIy conIused ubouL IL,
uL wIIcI sIe IerseII IuugIed more IeurLIIy LIun unyone eIse - LIougI by no meuns In LIe
IusIIon oI ¡eo ZInk, wIo IuugIed uL IImseII us u purIour LrIck, wIereus sIe dId LIe sume ouL oI
sIeer IIgILness oI IeurL und sense oI Iun. SIe wus very musIcuI, u pIunIsL, u CIopIn enLIusIusL, u
wrILer on ScIuberL; on IrIendIy Lerms wILI more LIun one beurer oI u greuL nume In LIe
conLemporury worId oI musIc. Her IIrsL conversuLIon wILI AdrIun Iud been u gruLIIyIng excIunge
upon LIe subjecL oI MozurL's poIypIony und IIs reIuLIon Lo BucI. He wus und remuIned Ier
uLLucIed IrIend Ior muny yeurs.
BuL no one wIII suppose LIuL LIe cILy Ie Iud cIosen Lo IIve In reuIIy Look IIm Lo Ier bosom or
ever mude IIm Ier own. TIe beuuLy oI LIe grundIose vIIIuge under LIe meILIng bIue oI LIe AIpIne
sky, wILI LIe mounLuIn sLreum rusIIng und rIppIIng LIrougI IL: LIuL mIgIL pIeuse IIs eye; LIe
seII-InduIgenL comIorL oI ILs wuys, LIe suggesLIon IL Iud oI uII-LIe-yeur-round curnIvuI Ireedom,
mIgIL muke even IIs IIIe eusIer. BuL ILs spIrIL - sit tenic terbol - ILs uLmospIere, u IILLIe mud
und quILe IurmIess; LIe decoruLIve uppeuI Lo LIe senses, LIe IoIIduy und urLIsLIc mood oI LIIs
seII-suLIsIIed Cupuu: uII LIuL wus oI course IoreIgn Lo LIe souI oI u deep, sLern nuLure IIke IIs. ¡L
wus Indeed LIe IILLIng und proper LurgeL Ior LIuL Iook oI IIs ¡ Iud so Iong observed: veIIed und
coId und musIngIy remoLe, IoIIowed by LIe smIIe und uverLed Iuce.
TIe MunIcI ¡ speuk oI Is LIe MunIcI oI LIe IuLe Regency, wILI onIy Iour yeurs beLween IL und
LIe wur, wIose Issue wus Lo Lurn ILs pIeusunLness Lo morbIdness und produce In IL one sud und
groLesque munIIesLuLIon uILer unoLIer; LIIs cupILuI cILy oI beuuLIIuI vIsLus, wIere poIILIcuI
probIems conIIned LIemseIves Lo u cuprIcIous opposILIon beLween u IuII-sepuruLIsL IoIk-
CuLIoIIcIsm und LIe IIveIy IIberuIIsm proIessed by LIe supporLers oI LIe ReIcI; MunIcI, wILI ILs
purude concerLs In LIe ¡eIdIerrenIuIIe, ILs urL sIops, ILs puIuces oI decoruLIve cruILs, ILs recurrIng
exIIbILIons, ILs ßcuern-buIIs In curnIvuI LIme, ILs seusonuI "Mcrzbrcu" curouses und week-Iong
monsLer IuIr on LIe "OkLoberwIese," wIere u sLouL und IusLy IoIkIsIness, now Iong sInce
corrupLed by modern muss meLIods, ceIebruLed ILs suLurnuIIu; MunIcI, wILI ILs resIduury
WugnerIsm, ILs esoLerIc coLerIes perIormIng LIeIr uesLIeLIc devoLIons beIInd LIe SIegesLor; ILs
BoIemIu, weII bedded down In pubIIc upprovuI und IundumenLuIIy eusy-goIng. AdrIun Iooked on
uL uII LIuL, moved In IL, LusLed oI IL, durIng LIe nIne monLIs LIuL Ie spenL uL LIIs LIme In
Oberbuyern - un uuLumn, u wInLer, und u sprIng. AL LIe urLIsL IesLIvuIs LIuL Ie uLLended wILI
ScIIIdknupp In LIe IIIusory LwIIIgIL oI urLIsLIcuIIy decoruLed buIIrooms Ie meL members oI LIe
Rodde cIrcIe, LIe young ucLors, LIe KnoLerIcIs, Dr. KrunIcI, ZInk und SpengIer, LIe duugILers oI
LIe Iouse. He suL uL u LubIe wILI ¡nez und CIurIssu, RüdIger, SpengIer, und KrunIcI, perIups
JeuneLLe ScIeurI. And ScIwerdLIeger, In peusunL dress or In LIe ¡IorenLIne quuLLrocenLo wIIcI
seL oII IIs Iundsome Iegs und mude IIm Iook IIke BoLLIceIII's youLI In LIe red cup, wouId come
up, dIssoIved In IesLIvuI mIrLI, uII InLeIIecLuuI eIevuLIon quILe IorgoL, und In order Lo be "nIce"
InvILe LIe Rodde gIrIs Lo dunce. "NIce" wus IIs IuvourILe word; Ie InsIsLed on IuvIng everyLIIng
Iuppen "nIceIy" und on IeuvIng ouL uII LIuL wus noL "nIce." He Iud muny obIIguLIons und pendIng
IIIrLuLIons In LIe room, buL IL wouId noL Iuve seemed "nIce" Lo IIm Lo negIecL enLIreIy LIe IudIes
oI LIe RumbergsLrusse, wILI wIom Ie wus on u broLIerIy IooLIng. TIIs compuIsIon Lo be "nIce"
wus so vIsIbIe In IIs busIness-IIke upproucI LIuL CIurIssu suId perLIy:
"Good Ieuvens, RudoII, II you dIdn'L puL on LIe uIr oI u knIgIL rescuIng u dumseI In dIsLress! ¡
ussure you we Iuve dunced enougI, we do noL need you uL uII."
"Need!" Ie repIIed, wILI preLended unger, In IIs ruLIer guLLuruI voIce. "And LIe needs oI my
IeurL ure noL Lo counL uL uII?"
"NoL u bruss IurLIIng," suId sIe. "AnyIow, ¡ um Loo bIg Ior you."
BuL sIe wouId go oII wILI IIm even so, proudIy LIILIng Ier InsuIIIcIenL cIIn, wILI no IoIIow
under LIe IuII IIp. Or IL wus ¡nez Ie Iud usked, wIo wILI pIncIed IIps und droopIng Ieud IoIIowed
IIm Lo LIe dunce. BuL Ie wus "nIce" noL uIone Lo LIe sIsLers. He kepL guurd over IIs IorgeLIuIness.
SuddenIy, especIuIIy II someone Iud decIIned Lo dunce, Ie mIgIL becume serIous und sIL down uL
LIe LubIe wILI AdrIun und BupLIsL SpengIer. TIe IuLLer wus uIwuys In u domIno, und drInkIng red
wIne. BIInkIng, u dImpIe In IIs cIeek ubove LIe LIIck mousLucIes, Ie wouId be cILIng LIe
GoncourL dIurIes or LIe IeLLers oI Abbe GuIIunI, und ScIwerdLIeger, posILIveIy IurIous wILI
uLLenLIon, wouId sIL und bore IIs guze InLo LIe speuker's Iuce. Or Ie wouId LuIk wILI AdrIun ubouL
LIe progrum oI LIe nexL ZupIensLosser concerL; or demund, us LIougI LIere were no more
pressIng InLeresL or obIIguLIons unywIere, LIuL AdrIun expIuIn und enIurge upon someLIIng LIuL
Ie Iud IuLeIy suId uL LIe Roddes' ubouL musIc, ubouL LIe sLuLe oI LIe operu, or LIe IIke. He wouId
devoLe IImseII Lo AdrIun, Luke IIs urm und sLroII wILI IIm uL LIe edge oI LIe crowd, round LIe
IuII, uddressIng IIm wILI LIe curnIvuI du, IeedIess LIuL LIe oLIer dId noL respond. JeuneLLe
ScIeurI LoId me IuLer LIuL wIen AdrIun once reLurned Lo LIe LubIe uILer sucI u sLroII, ¡nez Rodde
suId Lo IIm:
"You sIouIdn'L gIve IIm LIe pIeusure. He wunLs everyLIIng."
"PerIups Herr ¡everküIn wunLs everyLIIng Loo," remurked CIurIssu, supporLIng Ier cIIn on
Ier Iund.
AdrIun sIrugged IIs sIouIders.
"WIuL Ie wunLs," Ie responded, "Is LIuL ¡ sIouId wrILe u vIoIIn concerLo Ior IIm wILI wIIcI Ie
cun be Ieurd In LIe provInces."
"Don'L do IL," CIurIssu suId uguIn. "You wouIdn'L LIInk oI unyLIIng buL preLLInesses II you
consIdered IIm wIIIe you were doIng IL."
"You Iuve Loo IIgI un opInIon oI my IIexIbIIILy," Ie reLorLed, und Iud BupLIsL SpengIer's
bIeuLIng IuugI on IIs sIde.
BuL enougI oI AdrIun's purLIcIpuLIon In LIe MunIcI joy oI IIIe. TrIps InLo LIe envIrons, jusLIy
ceIebruLed II somewIuL spoIIed by muss resorL, Ie Iud mude wILI ScIIIdknupp, mosLIy on LIe
IuLLer's InILIuLIve. Even In LIe gIILLerIng wInLer LIey spenL duys In ELLuI, Oberummerguu,
MILLenwuId; und wIen sprIng cume, LIese excursIons Increused, Lo LIe Iumous Iukes und LIe
LIeuLrIcuI cusLIes buIIL by LIe nuLIon's mudmun. OILen LIey wenL on bIcycIes (Ior AdrIun Ioved
LIem us u meuns oI IndependenL LruveI) uL rundom InLo LIe greenIng counLry, IodgIng uL nIgIL
IumbIy or preLenLIousIy, jusL us IL IeII ouL. ¡ um remInded oI LIe IucL becuuse IL wus LIus LIuL
AdrIun mude ucquuInLunce wILI LIe pIuce LIuL Ie IuLer cIose us LIe permunenL seLLIng oI IIs IIIe:
PIeIIIerIng neur WuIdsIuL und LIe ScIweIgesLIII Iurm.
TIe IILLIe Lown oI WuIdsIuL, devoId oI InLeresL or cIurm, IIes on LIe GurmIscI-PurLenkIrcIen
IIne, un Iour Irom MunIcI. TIe nexL sLuLIon, onIy Len mInuLes IurLIer on, Is PIeIIIerIng or
PIeIIerIng, wIere LIe LIrougI LruIns do noL sLop. TIey Ieuve Lo one sIde LIe onIon-sIuped dome
oI PIeIIIerIng cIurcI, rIsIng ouL oI u Iundscupe wIIcI uL LIIs poInL Is In no wuy remurkubIe.
AdrIun und RüdIger vIsILed LIe pIuce by mere cIunce. TIey dId noL even spend LIe nIgIL uL
ScIweIgesLIII's, Ior boLI Iud Lo work nexL mornIng und musL Luke LIe LruIn buck Irom WuIdsIuL
Lo MunIcI. TIey Iud euLen LIeIr mIdduy meuI In LIe IILLIe squure uL WuIdsIuL, und us LIe LIme-
LubIe IeIL LIem some Iours Lo spure, LIey rode uIong LIe Lree-IIned IIgIwuy Lo PIeIIIerIng,
pusIed LIeIr bIcycIes LIrougI LIe vIIIuge, InquIred oI u cIIId LIe nume oI LIe neur-by pond, und
Ieurd LIuL IL wus cuIIed LIe KIummer; cusL u gIunce uL LIe Lree-crowned IeIgIL, LIe RoImbüIeI,
und usked Ior u gIuss oI Iemonude Irom u bureIooL gIrI under LIe guLe oI LIe munor-Iouse, wIIcI
wus udorned wILI eccIesIusLIcuI urms. TIey usked Iess Irom LIIrsL LIun becuuse LIe mussIve und
cIurucLerIsLIc peusunL buroque sLrucLure uLLrucLed LIeIr uLLenLIon. TIe yurd dog on IIs cIuIn
buyed IoudIy, und LIe gIrI sIouLed uL IIm: "KuscIperI, IusI your noIse!"
¡ do noL know Iow Iur AdrIun Look noLIce uL LIuL LIme; or wIeLIer IL wus onIy uILerwurds,
gruduuIIy und Irom memory, LIuL Ie recognIzed cerLuIn correspondences, Lrunsposed, us IL were,
InLo unoLIer buL noL Iur removed key. ¡ IncIIne Lo LIe beIIeI LIuL LIe dIscovery uL IIrsL remuIned
unconscIous und onIy IuLer, perIups us In u dreum, cume Lo IIm us u surprIse. AL IeusL Ie dId noL
uLLer u syIIubIe Lo ScIIIdknupp, nor dId Ie ever menLIon Lo me LIe sInguIur correspondence. OI
course ¡ muy be mIsLuken. Pond und IIII, LIe gIgunLIc oId Lree In LIe courLyurd - un eIm, us u
muLLer oI IucL - wILI ILs round green bencI, und sLIII oLIer deLuIIs mIgIL Iuve uLLrucLed IIm uL
IIs IIrsL gIunce; IL muy be no dreum wus needed Lo open IIs eyes. TIuL Ie suId noLIIng Is oI
course no prooI uL uII.
¡L wus ¡ruu EIse ScIweIgesLIII wIo udvunced Lowurds LIe LruveIIers wILI dIgnIIIed Lreud, meL
LIem uL LIe guLe, guve u IrIendIy eur Lo LIeIr wunLs, und mude Iemonude In LuII gIusses wILI Iong
spoons. SIe served IL In LIe besL room, IeIL oI LIe enLry, u sorL oI peusunL IuII, wILI u vuuILed
ceIIIng, u Iuge LubIe, wIndow embrusures wIIcI sIowed LIe LIIckness oI LIe wuIIs, und LIe
WInged VIcLory oI SumoLIruce In pIusLer ubove LIe LuII, guIIy puInLed press. TIere wus u durk
brown pIuno us weII. TIe room wus noL used by LIe IumIIy, ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII expIuIned us sIe
suL down wILI Ier guesLs. TIey suL oI evenIngs In u smuIIer room dIugonuIIy opposILe, neur LIe
Iouse door. TIe buIIdIng Iud mucI exLru spuce; IurLIer uIong on LIIs sIde wus unoLIer sIgILIy
room, LIe so-cuIIed AbboL's cIumber, probubIy LIus numed becuuse IL Iud served us u sLudy Lo
LIe Ieud oI LIe AugusLIne Order oI monks, wIo Iud once presIded over LIe pIuce. So IL Iud
IormerIy been u cIoIsLer; buL Ior LIree generuLIons ScIweIgesLIIIs Iud been seLLIed Iere.
AdrIun menLIoned LIuL Ie IImseII wus counLry-bred, LIougI Ie Iud IIved now Ior some LIme In
Lowns. He InquIred Iow mucI Iund LIere wus und Ieurned LIuL LIere wus ubouL IorLy ucres oI
pIougIed Iund und meudow, wILI u wood-IoL us weII. TIe Iow buIIdIng wILI LIe cIesLnuL Lrees on
LIe vucunL spuce opposILe LIe courLyurd uIso beIonged Lo LIe properLy. Once IL Iud been occupIed
by Iuy broLIers, now IL wus neurIy uIwuys empLy und scurceIy IurnIsIed enougI Lo IIve In.
Summer beIore IusL u MunIcI puInLer und IIs wIIe Iud renLed IL; Ie wunLed Lo muke Iundscupes
oI LIe neIgIbourIood, LIe WuIdsIuL moors und so on, und Iud done some preLLy vIews, LIougI
ruLIer gIoomy, beIng puInLed In u duII IIgIL. TIree oI LIem Iud been Iung In LIe GIuspuIusL, sIe
Iud seen LIem LIere IerseII, und Herr DIrecLor SLIgImuyer oI LIe BuvurIun ExcIunge Bunk Iud
bougIL one. TIe genLIemen were puInLers LIemseIves?
SIe very IIkeIy menLIoned LIe LenunLs In order Lo ruIse LIe subjecL und IInd ouL wILI wIom sIe
Iud Lo deuI. WIen sIe Ieurd LIuL no, LIey were u wrILer und u musIcIun, sIe IIILed Ier brows
respecLIuIIy und suId LIuL wus more unusuuI und InLeresLIng. PuInLers were LIIck us bIuckberrIes.
TIe genLIemen Iud seemed serIous peopIe Lo Ier, wIereus puInLers were mosLIy u Ioose IoL,
wILIouL mucI IeeIIng Ior LIe serIous LIIngs oI IIIe - sIe dId noL meun LIe prucLIcuI sIde, eurnIng
money und LIuL, no, wIen sIe suId serIous sIe meunL LIe durk sIde oI IIIe, ILs IurdsIIps und Lrou-
bIes, buL sIe dId noL meun Lo be unIuIr Lo urLIsLs: Ier Iodgers, Ior InsLunce, Iud been un excepLIon
Lo LIuL kInd oI IIgIL-Ieuded genLry, Ie beIng u quIeL, reserved sorL oI mun, ruLIer Iow-spIrILed II
unyLIIng - und IIs pIcLures Iud Iooked IIke LIuL Loo, LIe uLmospIere oI LIe moors, und LIe
IoneIy woods und meudows, yes, IL wus perIups surprIsIng LIuL DIrecLor SLIgImuyer sIouId Iuve
bougIL one, LIe gIoomIesL oI uII, oI course Ie wus u IInuncIuI mun buL muybe Ie Iud u sLreuk oI
meIuncIoIy IImseII.
SIe suL wILI LIem, boIL uprIgIL, Ier brown IuIr, onIy LoucIed wILI grey, druwn smooLIIy uwuy
Irom LIe purLIng, so LIuL you suw LIe wIILe skIn; In Ier cIecked upron, un ovuI broocI uL LIe
openIng oI Ier Irock, Ier weII-sIuped, cupubIe IILLIe Iunds wILI LIe pIuIn weddIng rIng IoIded
LogeLIer on LIe LubIe.
SIe IIked urLIsLs, sIe suId. Her Iunguuge, seusoned wILI dIuIecL, wILI hclt und jei und çelleri's
jc, wus yeL noL course. ArLIsLs were peopIe oI undersLundIng, sIe LIougIL, und undersLundIng wus
LIe besL und mosL ImporLunL LIIng In IIIe, LIe wuy urLIsLs were so IIveIy depended on LIuL, sIe
wouId suy, uL boLLom, LIere wus u IIveIy und u serIous kInd oI undersLundIng, und IL Iud never
come ouL yeL wIIcI one wus beLLer, muybe LIe besL oI uII wus sLIII unoLIer one, u quIeL kInd oI
undersLundIngness, unyIow urLIsLs, oI course, Iud Lo IIve In LIe Lowns, becuuse LIuL wus wIere
LIe cuILure wus, LIuL LIey spenL LIeIr LIme on, buL ucLuuIIy LIey beIonged more wILI peusunL IoIk,
wIo IIved In LIe mIddIe oI nuLure und so neurer Lo undersLundIng, mucI more LIun wILI Lowns-
peopIe, becuuse LIese Iud Iud LIeIr undersLundIng sLunLed, or eIse LIey Iud smoLIered IL up Ior
LIe suke oI beIng reguIur und LIuL cume Lo LIe sume LIIng, buL sIe dId noL wunL Lo be unIuIr Lo
LIe LownsIoIk eILIer, LIere were uIwuys excepLIons, muybe one dIdn'L uIwuys know, und DIrecLor
SLIgImuyer, jusL Lo menLIon IIm uguIn, wIen Ie bougIL LIe gIoomy puInLIng Iud sIown Ie wus u
mun oI undersLundIng, und noL onIy urLIsLIc eILIer.
Hereupon sIe oIIered Ier guesLs coIIee und pound-cuke; buL ScIIIdknupp und AdrIun
preIerred Lo spend wIuL LIme LIey Iud IeIL IookIng uL LIe Iouse und grounds, II sIe wouId be so
good us Lo sIow LIem.
"WIIIIngIy," suId sIe; "onIy Loo bud my MuxI" (LIuL wus Herr ScIweIgesLIII) "Is ouL on LIe Iurm
wILI Gereon, LIuL's our son, LIey wunLed Lo Lry u new munure-spreuder Gereon bougIL, so LIe
genLIemen wIII Iuve Lo muke do wILI me."
TIey wouId noL cuII LIuL mukIng-do, LIey unswered, und wenL wILI Ier LIrougI LIe mussIveIy
buIIL oId Iouse. TIey Iooked uL LIe Iouse-pIuce In IronL, wIere LIe prevuIIIng odour oI pIpe Lo-
bucco wus sLrongesL; IurLIer buck wus LIe AbboL's room, very pIeusIng, noL very Iurge, und ruLIer
eurIIer In sLyIe LIun LIe exLerIor urcIILecLure oI LIe Iouse, neurer 16oo LIun 1;oo; wuInscoLed,
wILI curpeLIess wooden IIoor und sLumped-IeuLIer IungIngs beIow LIe beumed ceIIIng. TIere
were pIcLures oI suInLs on LIe wuIIs oI LIe IIuL-urcIed wIndow embrusures, und Ieuded wIn-
dowpunes LIuL Iud squures oI puInLed gIuss IeL InLo LIem. TIere wus u nIcIe In LIe wuII, wILI u
copper wuLer-keLLIe und busIn, und u cupbourd wILI wrougIL-Iron boILs und Iocks. TIere wus u
corner bencI wILI IeuLIer cusIIons, und u Ieuvy ouk LubIe noL Iur Irom LIe wIndow, buIIL IIke u
cIesL, wILI deep druwers under LIe poIIsIed Lop und u sunken mIddIe purL wIere u curved
reudIng-desk sLood. Above IL LIere Iung down Irom LIe beumed ceIIIng u Iuge cIundeIIer wILI
LIe remuIns oI wux cundIes sLIII sLIckIng In IL, u pIece oI RenuIssunce decoruLIon wILI Iorns,
sIoveI-unLIers, und oLIer IunLusLIc sIupes sLIckIng ouL IrreguIurIy on uII sIdes.
TIe vIsILors pruIsed LIe AbboL's room wurmIy. ScIIIdknupp, wILI u reIIecLIve Ieud-sIuke, even
LIougIL LIuL one ougIL Lo seLLIe down und IIve Iere; buL ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII Iud Ier doubLs
wIeLIer IL wouId noL be Loo IoneIy Ior u wrILer, Loo Iur Irom IIIe und cuILure. And sIe Ied Ier
guesLs up LIe sLuIrs Lo LIe upper sLorey, Lo sIow LIem u Iew oI LIe numerous bedrooms, In u row
on u wIILewusIed, musLy corrIdor. TIey were IurnIsIed wILI bedsLeuds und cIesLs In LIe sLyIe oI
LIe puInLed one beIow, und onIy u Iew were suppIIed wILI LIe LowerIng IeuLIer beds In peusunL
sLyIe. "WIuL u IoL oI rooms!" LIey excIuImed. Yes, LIey were mosLIy empLy, repIIed LIe IosLess.
One or Lwo mIgIL be occupIed LemporurIIy. ¡or Lwo yeurs, unLII IusL uuLumn, u Buroness von
HundscIucIsIeIm Iud IIved Iere und wundered ubouL LIrougI LIe Iouse: u Iudy oI runk, wIose
Ideus, us ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII expressed IL, Iud noL been ubIe Lo IIL In wILI LIose oI LIe resL oI LIe
worId so LIuL sIe Iud sougIL reIuge Iere Irom LIe conIIIcL. SIe, ¡ruu EIse ScIweIgesLIII, Iud goL
on very weII wILI Ier und IIked Lo LuIk wILI Ier; Iud someLImes even succeeded In mukIng Ier
IuugI uL Ier own ouLIundIsI noLIons. BuL unIorLunuLeIy IL Iud been ImpossIbIe eILIer Lo do uwuy
wILI LIese or Lo prevenL LIem Irom guInIng ground; In LIe end LIe deur Buroness Iud Iud Lo be
pIuced In proIessIonuI cure.
¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII cume Lo LIe end oI LIIs LuIe us LIey wenL buck down LIe sLuIr uguIn und ouL
InLo LIe courLyurd Lo Iuve u gIImpse oI LIe sLubIes. AnoLIer LIme, sIe suId, beIore LIuL, one oI LIe
muny sIeepIng-rooms Iud been occupIed by u ¡ruuIeIn Irom LIe besL socIuI cIrcIes wIo Iud Iere
brougIL Ier cIIId InLo LIe worId - LuIkIng wILI urLIsLs sIe couId cuII LIIngs, LIougI noL peopIe,
by LIeIr rIgIL numes - LIe gIrI's IuLIer wus u judge oI LIe IIgI courL, up In BuyreuLI, und Iud goL
IImseII un eIecLrIc uuLomobIIe und LIuL Iud been LIe begInnIng oI uII LIe LroubIe, Ior Ie Iud
IIred u cIuuIIeur Loo, Lo drIve IIm Lo IIs oIIIce, und LIIs young mun, noL u bIL ouL oI LIe common
run, onIy very smurL In IIs bruIded IIvery, Iud mude LIe gIrI Iose Ier Ieud uILogeLIer, sIe Iud goL
wILI cIIId by IIm, und wIen LIuL wus pIuIn Lo see LIere Iud been ouLbreuks oI ruge und despuIr,
Iund-wrIngIng und IuIr-LeurIng, cursIng, wuIIIng, beruLIng on LIe purL oI LIe purenLs, sucI us one
wouId noL Iuve dreumL possIbIe, oI undersLundIng LIere Iud been none, eILIer oI un urLIsLIc or u
nuLuruI kInd, noLIIng buL u cruzy Ieur Ior LIeIr socIuI repuLuLIon, IIke peopIe In Lowns Iuve, und
LIe gIrI Iud reguIurIy wrILIed on LIe IIoor beIore Ier purenLs, beseecIIng und sobbIng wIIIe LIey
sIook LIeIr IIsLs, und In LIe end moLIer und duugILer IuInLed uL LIe very sume mInuLe, buL LIe
IIgI judge Iound IIs wuy Iere one duy und LuIked wILI Ier, ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, u IILLIe mun wILI u
poInLed grey beurd und goId eyegIusses, quILe bowed wILI uIIIIcLIon und LIey Iud mude up LIuL
LIe gIrI be brougIL Lo bed Iere secreLIy, und uILerwurds, under LIe preLexL oI unuemIu, sIouId
sLop on Ior u wIIIe. And wIen LIe IIgI oIIIcIuI Iud Lurned Lo go, Ie Iud Lurned round uguIn und
wILI Leurs beIInd IIs goId gIusses Iud pressed Ier Iund uguIn wILI LIe words: "TIunk you, LIunk
you, Ior your undersLundIng und goodness," buL Ie meunL undersLundIng Ior LIe bowed-down
purenLs, noL Ior LIe gIrI.
SIe cume, LIen, u poor LIIng, wILI Ier mouLI uIwuys open und Ier eyebrows up, und wIIIe sIe
uwuILed Ier Iour sIe conIIded u good deuI In ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII. SIe wus enLIreIy reusonubIe
ubouL Ier own guIIL und dId noL preLend LIuL sIe Iud been seduced - on LIe conLrury, CurI, LIe
cIuuIIeur, Iud even suId: "¡L's no good, ¡ruuIeIn, beLLer noL," buL IL Iud been sLronger LIun sIe
wus, und sIe Iud uIwuys been reudy Lo puy wILI deuLI, und wouId do, und beIng reudy Ior deuLI,
so IL seemed Lo Ier, mude up Ior LIe wIoIe LIIng, und sIe Iud been very bruve wIen Ier LIme
cume, und Ier cIIId, u gIrI, wus brougIL InLo LIe worId wILI LIe IeIp oI good Dr. KürbIs, LIe
dIsLrIcL pIysIcIun, Lo wIom IL wus uII one Iow u cIIId cume, II everyLIIng wus oLIerwIse In order
und no Lrunsverse DosILIons, buL LIe gIrI Iud remuIned very weuk, despILe good nursIng und LIe
counLry uIr, sIe Iud never sLopped IoIdIng Ier mouLI open und Ier eyebrows up, und Ier cIeeks
seemed IoIIower LIun ever und uILer u wIIIe Ier IILLIe IIgI-up IuLIer cume Lo IeLcI Ier uwuy und
uL LIe sIgIL oI Ier, Leurs cume In IIs eyes beIInd LIe goId eye-gIusses. TIe InIunL wus senL Lo LIe
Grey SIsLers In Bumberg, buL LIe moLIer wus Irom LIen on onIy u very grey sIsLer IerseII, wILI u
cunury-bIrd und u LorLoIse wIIcI Ier purenLs guve Ier ouL oI pILy, und sIe Iud jusL wILIered uwuy
In Ier room In u consumpLIon, wIIcI LIe seeds oI Iud probubIy uIwuys been In Ier. ¡InuIIy LIey
senL Ier Lo Duvos, buL LIuL seemed Lo Iuve been LIe IInIsIIng LoucI, Ior sIe dIed LIere uImosL uL
once, jusL us sIe Iud wIsIed und wunLed IL, und II sIe Iud been rIgIL In Ier Ideu LIuL everyLIIng
Iud been evened up by LIe reudIness Ior deuLI, LIen sIe wus quILs und Iud goL wIuL sIe wus
uILer.
TIey vIsILed LIe sLubIes, Iooked uL LIe Iorses und LIe pIgsLIes wIIIe LIeIr IosLess wus LuIkIng
ubouL LIe gIrI sIe Iud sIeILered. TIey wenL Lo Iook uL LIe cIIckens und LIe bees beIInd LIe
Iouse, und LIen LIe guesLs usked wIuL LIey owed Ier und Avere LoId noLIIng uL uII. TIey LIunked
Ier Ior everyLIIng und rode buck Lo WuIdsIuL Lo Luke LIeIr LruIn. TIuL LIe duy Iud noL been
wusLed und LIuL PIeIIIerIng wus u remurkubIe spoL, Lo LIuL LIey boLI IeurLIIy ugreed.
AdrIun kepL LIe pIcLure In IIs mInd; buL Ior u Iong LIme IL dId noL deLermIne IIs decIsIons. He
wunLed Lo go uwuy, buL IurLIer uwuy LIun un Iour's journey Lowurds LIe mounLuIns. OI LIe musIc
oI Lote's Lcbour's Lost Ie Iud wrILLen LIe pIuno skeLcI oI LIe exposILory scenes; buL LIen Ie Iud
goL sLuck, LIe purodIsLIc urLIIIcIuIILy oI LIe sLyIe wus Iurd Lo keep up, needIng us IL dId u suppIy oI
wIImsIcuIILy consLunLIy IresI und susLuIned. He IeIL u desIre Ior more dIsLunL uIr, Ior
surroundIngs oI greuLer unIumIIIurILy. UnresL possessed IIm. He wus LIred oI LIe IumIIy pensIon
In RumbergsLrusse; ILs prIvucy Iud been un uncerLuIn quunLILy, peopIe couId uIwuys InLrude on IL.
"¡ um IookIng," Ie wroLe Lo me, "¡ keep uskIng round ubouL und IunkerIng Ior news oI u pIuce
burIed Irom und unLroubIed by LIe worId, wIere ¡ couId IoId speecI uIone, wILI my IIIe, my
desLIny... " SLrunge, omInous words! MusL noL my Iund LrembIe, musL ¡ noL IeeI coId In LIe pIL oI
my sLomucI, uL LIougIL oI LIe meeLIng, LIe IoIdIng speecI, LIe compucL Ior wIIcI Ie,
conscIousIy or unconscIousIy, sougIL u LIeuLre? ¡L wus ¡LuIy on wIIcI Ie decIded; wIILIer Ie, uL
un unusuuI LIme Ior u LourIsL, LIe begInnIng oI June und LIe summer, seL oII. He Iud persuuded
RüdIger ScIIIdknupp Lo go wILI IIm.

CHAPTIR XXIV
¡n LIe Iong vucuLIon oI 1q1z und sLIII Irom KuIsersuscIern, ¡, wILI my young brIde, vIsILed
AdrIun und ScIIIdknupp In LIe nesL LIey Iud Iound In LIe SubIne HIIIs. ¡L wus LIe second
summer LIe IrIends Iud spenL LIere. TIey Iud wInLered In Rome, und In Muy, us LIe IeuL
sLrengLIened, LIey Iud uguIn sougIL LIe mounLuIns und LIe sume IospILubIe Iouse wIere, In u
sojourn IusLIng LIree monLIs, LIey Iud Ieurned Lo IeeI uL Iome LIe yeur beIore.
TIe pIuce wus PuIesLrInu, bIrLIpIuce oI LIe composer; uncIenL PruenesLe, und us PenesLrIno
cILudeI oI LIe CoIonnu prInces, menLIoned by DunLe In LIe LwenLy-sevenLI cunLo oI LIe Injerno: u
pIcLuresque IIIIsIde seLLIemenL, reucIed Irom LIe cIurcI beIow by u Iune oI sIuIIow sLeps,
overIung by Iouses und noL even oI LIe cIeunesL. A sorL oI IILLIe bIuck pIg run ubouL on LIe sLeps,
und one oI LIe puck-muIes LIuL pussed up und down wILI ILs projecLIng Ioud mIgIL pusI LIe
unwury pedesLrIun Lo LIe wuII. TIe sLreeL conLInued on ubove LIe vIIIuge us u mounLuIn roud,
pusL u CupucIIn IrIury, up Lo LIe Lop oI LIe IIII und LIe ucropoIIs, onIy survIvIng In u Iew ruIns
und LIe remnunL oI un uncIenL LIeuLre. HeIene und ¡ cIImbed up severuI LImes Lo LIese dIgnIIIed
reIIcs durIng our vIsIL, wIereus AdrIun, wIo "dId noL wunL Lo see unyLIIng," Iud never In uII LIose
monLIs goL IurLIer LIun LIe sIudy gurden oI LIe CupucIIn convenL, IIs IuvourILe spoL.
TIe MunurdI Iouse, wIere AdrIun und RüdIger Iodged, wus probubIy LIe mosL ImposIng In LIe
pIuce, und uILIougI LIe IumIIy were sIx In number, LIey eusIIy Look us In us weII. ¡L wus on LIe
Iune, u sober, soIId edIIIce, uImosL IIke u puIuzzo or cusLeIIo, wIIcI ¡ judged Lo be Irom ubouL LIe
second LIIrd oI LIe sevenLeenLI cenLury, wILI spure decoruLIve mouIdIngs under LIe IIuL, sIIgILIy
proIIIed LIIed rooI; IL Iud smuII wIndows und u door decoruLed In eurIy buroque sLyIe, buL
bourded up, wILI LIe ucLuuI door-openIng cuL InLo LIe bourdIng und IurnIsIed wILI u LInkIIng
IILLIe beII. ExLensIve quurLers Iud been vucuLed Ior our IrIends on LIe ground IIoor, consIsLIng
cIIeIIy oI u Lwo-wIndowed IIvIng-room us Iurge us u suIon, wILI sLone IIoors IIke uII LIe resL oI LIe
Iouse. ¡L wus sIuded, cooI, u IILLIe durk, und very sImpIy IurnIsIed, wILI wIcker cIuIrs und
IorseIuIr soIus, und In IucL so Iurge LIuL Lwo peopIe couId curry on LIeIr work LIere sepuruLed by
consIderubIe spuce, neILIer dIsLurbIng LIe oLIer. AdjoInIng were LIe roomy bedcIumbers, uIso
very spurseIy IurnIsIed, u LIIrd one beIng opened Ior us.
TIe IumIIy dInIng-room und LIe mucI Iurger kILcIen, In wIIcI IrIends Irom LIe vIIIuge were
enLerLuIned, Iuy In LIe upper sLorey. TIe kILcIen Iud u vusL und gIoomy cIImney, Iung wILI
IubuIous IudIes und curvIng-knIves und -Iorks wIIcI mIgIL Iuve beIonged Lo un ogre; wIIIe LIe
sIeIves were IuII oI copper uLensIIs, skIIIeLs, bowIs, pIuLLers, Lureens, und morLurs. Here SIgnoru
MunurdI reIgned, cuIIed NeIIu by Ier IumIIy - ¡ beIIeve Ier nume wus PeroneIIu. SIe wus u
sLuLeIy Romun muLron, wILI urcIed upper IIp, noL very durk, LIe good eyes und IuIr were onIy
cIesLnuL brown, wILI uL mosL u IuInL sIIver neLwork on LIe smooLI Ieud. Her IIgure wus IuII und
weII-proporLIoned, LIe ImpressIon sIe mude boLI cupubIe und rusLIcuIIy sImpIe, us one suw Ier
smuII work-Iurdened Iunds, LIe doubIe wIdow's rIng on LIe rIgIL one, poIsed on LIe IIrm sLrong
IIps, bound by LIeIr sLIII upron-sLrIngs.
SIe Iud buL one duugILer Irom Ier murrIuge, AmeIIu, u gIrI oI LIIrLeen or IourLeen yeurs,
IncIIned Lo weuk-Ieudedness. AmeIIu Iud u IubIL, uL LubIe, oI movIng spoons or Iorks Lo und Iro
In IronL oI Ier eyes und repeuLIng wILI u quesLIonIng InLonuLIon some word LIuL Iud sLuck In Ier
mInd. A IILLIe LIme prevIousIy un urIsLocruLIc RussIun IumIIy Iud Iodged wILI LIe MunurdIs,
wIose Ieud, u counL or prInce, Iud been u seer oI gIosLs und Irom LIme Lo LIme Iud gIven LIe
IumIIy unquIeL nIgILs, by sIooLIng uL wunderIng spIrILs wIo vIsILed IIm In IIs cIumber. AII LIIs
nuLuruIIy enougI mude un ImpressIon on AmeIIu; IL wus LIe reuson wIy sIe oILen und InsIsLenLIy
quesLIoned Ier spoons: "Spiriti, spiriti?" BuL sIe couId remember Iesser muLLers us weII; Ior
InsLunce IL Iud Iuppened LIuL u Germun LourIsL Iud once mude LIe mIsLuke oI suyIng: "Lc
meIonu," LIe word beIng IemInIne In Germun LIougI muscuIIne In ¡LuIIun; und now LIe cIIId
wouId sIL wuggIng Ier Ieud, IoIIowIng wILI Ier IorIorn Iook LIe movemenL oI Ier spoons und
murmurIng "¡u melonc, lc melonc?" SIgnoru PeroneIIu und Ier broLIers puId no Ieed or dId noL
Ieur; sucI LIIngs were un everyduy muLLer Lo LIem und onIy II LIe guesL seemed puL oII wouId
LIey smIIe uL IIm, Iess In excuse LIun uImosL LenderIy, us LIougI LIe cIIId Iud done someLIIng
wInnIng.
HeIene und ¡ soon goL used Lo AmeIIu's uncunny murmurs; us Ior AdrIun und ScIIIdknupp,
LIey were no Ionger conscIous oI LIem.
TIe IousewIIe's broLIers, oI wIom ¡ spoke, were Lwo, one oIder und one younger LIun IerseII:
ErcoIuno MunurdI, Iuwyer, mosLIy cuIIed Vcttoccto Ior sIorL, yeL wILI some suLIsIucLIon Loo, Ie
beIng LIe prIde oI LIe oLIerwIse unIeLLered und rusLIc IumIIy, u mun oI sIxLy wILI brIsLIIng grey
mousLucIes und u Iourse, compIuInIng voIce, wIIcI begun wILI un eIIorL IIke u donkey's bruy;
und Sor AIIonso, LIe younger, perIups In LIe mIddIe oI IIs IorLIes, InLImuLeIy uddressed by IIs
IumIIy us AIIo, u Iurmer. OILen, reLurnIng Irom our uILernoon wuIk In LIe cumpugnu, we suw IIm
comIng Iome Irom IIs IIeIds on IIs IILLIe Iong-eurs, IIs IeeL uImosL on LIe ground, under u
sunsIude, wILI bIue gIusses on IIs nose. TIe Iuwyer uppurenLIy no Ionger prucLIsed IIs proIes-
sIon, Ie onIy reud LIe newspuper, reud IL Indeed uII LIe LIme; on IoL duys Ie permILLed IImseII Lo
do IL sILLIng In IIs room In IIs druwers, wILI LIe door open. He drew down upon IImseII LIe
dIsupprovuI oI Sor AIIo, wIo Iound LIuL LIe mun oI Iuw - "quest'uomo" Ie cuIIed IIm In LIIs
connecLIon - Look Loo mucI upon IImseII. ¡oudIy, beIInd IIs broLIer's buck Ie censured LIIs
provocuLIve IIcence und wouId noL be LuIked round by IIs sIsLer's sooLIIng words, Lo LIe eIIecL
LIuL LIe udvocuLe wus u IuII-bIooded mun, In dunger oI u IeuL sLroke, wIIcI mude IIgIL cIoLIIng u
necessILy Lo IIm. TIen "quest'uomo" sIouId uL IeusL keep LIe door sIuL, reLorLed AIIo, InsLeud oI
exposIng IImseII In so negIIge u sLuLe Lo LIe eyes oI IIs IumIIy und LIe distinti jorestieri. A IIgIer
educuLIon dId noL jusLIIy sucI oIIensIve sIuckness. ¡L wus cIeur LIuL u cerLuIn unImosILy wus beIng
expressed by LIe conLu-dIno uguInsL LIe educuLed member oI LIe IumIIy, under u weII-cIosen
preLexL Indeed - uILIougI, or even becuuse, Sor AIIo In LIe depLIs oI IIs IeurL sIured LIe IumIIy
udmIruLIon Ior LIe Iuwyer, wIom LIey consIdered LIe nexL LIIng Lo u sLuLesmun. BuL LIe poIILIcs
oI LIe broLIers were In muny muLLers Iur usunder, Ior LIe udvocuLe wus oI u conservuLIve und
devouL cusL, AIIonso on LIe oLIer Iund u Iree-LIInker, libero pensctore, und u crILIcuI mInd,
IosLIIe Lo CIurcI, monurcIy, und governmenL, wIIcI Ie puInLed us permeuLed wILI scunduIous
corrupLIon. "A ccpito, che sccco di birbcccione" (dId you undersLund wIuL u puck oI ruscuIs LIey
ure?), Ie wouId cIose IIs IndIcLmenL, mucI more urLIcuIuLeIy LIun LIe udvocuLe, wIo uILer u Iew
guspIng proLesLs wouId reLIre beIInd IIs newspuper.
A connecLIon oI LIe LIree, broLIer oI SIgnoru NeIIu's deceused Iusbund, DurIo MunurdI, u
mIId, grey-beurded rusLIc, wuIkIng wILI u sLIck, IIved wILI IIs sImpIe, uIIIng wIIe In LIe IumIIy
Iouse. TIey dId LIeIr own IousekeepIng wIIIe SIgnoru PeroneIIu provIded Ior us seven Irom Ier
romunLIc kILcIen - LIe broLIers, AmeIIu, LIe Lwo permunenL guesLs, und LIe vIsILIng puIr - wILI
un umpIILude LIuL bore no reIuLIon Lo LIe modesL pensIon prIce. SIe wus InexIuusLIbIe. ¡or wIen
we Iud uIreudy enjoyed u powerIuI mInesLru, Iurks und poIenLu, scuIIopInI In MursuIu, u joInL oI
muLLon or bour wILI compoLe, LIereLo mucI suIud, cIeese und IruIL, und our IrIends Iud IIgILed
LIeIr governmenL-monopoIy cIgureLLes Lo smoke wILI LIe bIuck coIIee, sIe mIgIL suy us one
suggesLIng u cupLIvuLIng Ideu: "SIgnorI, u IILLIe IIsI, perIups?" A purpIe counLry wIne wIIcI LIe
udvocuLe drunk IIke wuLer, In greuL guIps, croukIng LIe wIIIe - u growLI Loo IIery reuIIy Lo be
recommended us u LubIe beveruge LwIce duIIy, yeL on LIe oLIer Iund u pILy Lo wuLer IL - served Lo
quencI our LIIrsL. TIe pudronu encouruged us wILI LIe words: "DrInk, drInk! Ic scnçue il tino"
BuL AIIonso upbruIded Ier, suyIng IL wus u supersLILIon.
TIe uILernoons were spenL In beuuLIIuI wuIks, durIng wIIcI LIere were muny IeurLy IuugIs uL
RüdIger ScIIIdknupp's AngIo-Suxon jokes; down Lo LIe vuIIey by rouds IIned wILI muIberry
busIes und ouL u sLreLcI InLo LIe weII-cuILIvuLed counLry wILI ILs oIIve Lrees und vIne gurIunds, ILs
LIIIed IIeIds dIvIded InLo smuII IoIdIngs sepuruLed by sLone wuIIs wILI uImosL monumenLuI en-
Lrunce guLes. SIuII ¡ express Iow mucI - usIde Irom LIe beIng wILI AdrIun uguIn - ¡ enjoyed LIe
cIussIc sky, wIere durIng LIe weeks oI our sLuy noL one sIngIe cIoud uppeured; LIe unLIque mood
LIuL Iuy over LIe Iund und now und LIen expressed ILseII vIsIbIy, us Ior InsLunce In LIe rIm oI u
weII, u pIcLuresque sIepIerd, u gouL's Ieud suggesLIve oI Pun? A smIIIng, sIIgILIy IronIc nod wus
AdrIun's onIy response Lo LIe rupLures oI my IumunIsLIc souI. ArLIsLs puy IILLIe Ieed Lo LIeIr
surroundIngs so Iong us LIese beur no dIrecL reIuLIon Lo LIeIr own IIeId oI work; LIey see In LIem
no more LIun In IndIIIerenL Irume, eILIer more or Iess IuvourubIe Lo producLIon. We Iooked
Lowurds LIe sunseL us we reLurned Lo LIe IILLIe Lown, und unoLIer sucI spIendour oI LIe evenIng
sky ¡ Iuve noL seen. A goIden Iuyer, LIIck und rIcI IIke oII, bordered wILI crImson, wus on LIe
wesLern IorIzon; LIe sIgIL wus uLLerIy exLruordInury und so beuuLIIuI LIuL IL mIgIL weII exIIIuruLe
und expund LIe souI. So ¡ conIess ¡ IeIL sIIgILIy puL oII wIen ScIIIdknupp, gesLurIng Lowurds LIe
murveIIous specLucIe, sIouLed IIs "ßesichtiçen Sie jenes.'" und AdrIun bursL ouL InLo LIe gruLeIuI
IuugILer wIIcI RüdIger Iumour uIwuys drew Irom IIm. ¡or IL seemed Lo me Ie seIzed LIe
occusIon Lo IuugI uL HeIene's und my emoLIon und even uL LIe gIory oI nuLure's mugnIIIcence us
weII.
¡ Iuve uIreudy menLIoned LIe gurden oI LIe cIoIsLer ubove LIe Lown, Lo wIIcI our IrIends
cIImbed every mornIng wILI LIeIr porLIoIIos Lo work upurL. TIey Iud usked permIssIon oI LIe
monks Lo sIL LIere und IL Iud been benIgnIy grunLed. We oILen uccompunIed LIem InLo LIe spIce-
scenLed sIude oI LIe noL Loo weII-Lended pIoL surrounded by crumbIIng wuIIs, wIere we wouId
Ieuve LIem Lo LIeIr devIces und InvIsIbIe Lo LIem boLI, wIo were LIemseIves InvIsIbIe Lo eucI
oLIer, IsoIuLed by busIes oI oIeunder, IuureI, und broom, spend LIe IncreusIngIy IoL uILernoon,
HeIene wILI Ier crocIeL-work, ¡ wILI u book, buL dweIIIng In my LIougILs on LIe pIeusurubIe
excILemenL oI LIe knowIedge LIuL AdrIun wus workIng on IIs operu cIose by.
On LIe budIy ouL-oI-Lune squure pIuno In LIe IrIends' IIvIng-room Ie pIuyed Lo us once durIng
our sLuy - unIorLunuLeIy onIy once - Irom LIe compIeLed secLIons, mosLIy uIreudy scored Ior u
specIuIIy cIosen orcIesLru, oI LIe "pIeusunL weII-conceILed comedy Lote's Lcbour's Lost," us LIe
pIece wus cuIIed In 1¸q8. He pIuyed cIurucLerIsLIc pussuges und u Iew compIeLe scene sequences:
LIe IIrsL ucL, IncIudIng LIe scene ouLsIde Armudo's Iouse, und severuI IuLer numbers wIIcI Ie
Iud purLIy unLIcIpuLed: In purLIcuIur BIron's monoIogues, wIIcI Ie Iud Iud especIuIIy In mInd
Irom LIe IIrsL, LIe one In verse uL LIe end oI LIe LIIrd ucL, us weII us LIe prose one In LIe IourLI:
"TIey Iuve pILcIed u LoII, ¡ um LoIIIng In u pILcI - pILcI LIuL deIIIes"; wIIcI, wIIIe uIwuys
preservIng LIe uLmospIere oI LIe comIc und groLesque, expresses musIcuIIy sLIII beLLer LIun LIe
IIrsL LIe deep und genuIne despuIr oI LIe young mun over IIs surrender Lo LIe suspecL bIuck
beuuLy, IIs rugIng ubundonmenL oI seII-mockery: "By LIe ¡ord, LIIs Iove Is us mud us Ajux; IL kIIIs
sIeep; IL kIIIs me, ¡ u sIeep": LIIs purLIy becuuse LIe swIIL-movIng, unjoInLed, ejucuIuLory prose,
wILI ILs muny pIuys on words, InspIred LIe composer Lo InvenL musIcuI uccenLs oI quILe pecuIIur
IunLusLIcuIILy; purLIy, uIso, becuuse In musIc LIe repeLILIon oI LIe sIgnIIIcunL und uIreudy IumIIIur,
LIe suggesLIve or subLIe InvenLIon, uIwuys mukes LIe sLrongesL und mosL speukIng ImpressIon.
And In LIe second monoIogue eIemenLs oI LIe IIrsL ure LIus deIIgILIuIIy recuIIed Lo LIe mInd.
TIIs wus Lrue ubove uII Ior LIe embILLered seII-cusLIguLIon oI LIe IeurL becuuse oI ILs InIuLuuLIon
wILI LIe "wIILeIy wunLon wILI u veIveL brow, wILI Lwo pILcI-buIIs sLuck In Ier Iuce Ior eyes," und
uguIn quILe purLIcuIurIy Ior LIe musIcuI pIcLure oI LIese beIoved uccursed eyes: u meIIsmu durkIy
IIusIIng ouL oI LIe sound oI combIned ceIIos und IIuLes, IuII IyrIcuIIy pussIonuLe und IuII
burIesque, wIIcI In LIe prose, uL LIe pIuce "O, buL Ier eye - by LIIs IIgIL, buL Ior Ier eye, ¡ wouId
noL Iove Ier," recurs In u wIIdIy curIcuLured wuy, wIere LIe durkness oI LIe eyes Is InLensIIIed by
LIe pILcI, buL LIe IIgILnIng IIusI oI LIem Is LIIs LIme gIven Lo LIe pIccoIo.
TIere cun be no doubL LIuL LIe sLrungeIy InsIsLenL und even unnecessury, drumuLIcuIIy IILLIe
jusLIIIed cIurucLerIzuLIon oI RosuIIne us u IuILIIess, wunLon, dungerous pIece oI IemuIe IIesI - u
descrIpLIon gIven Lo Ier onIy In BIron's speecIes, wIereus In LIe ucLuuI seLLIng oI LIe comedy sIe
Is no more LIun perL und wILLy - LIere cun be no doubL LIuL LIIs cIurucLerIzuLIon sprIngs Irom u
compuIsIon, IeedIess oI urLIsLIc IndIscrepuncIes, on LIe poeL's purL, un urge Lo brIng In IIs own
experIences und, wIeLIer IL IILs or noL, Lo Luke poeLIc revenge Ior LIem. RosuIIne, us LIe Iover
never LIres oI porLruyIng Ier, Is LIe durk Iudy oI LIe second sonneL sequence, EIIzubeLI's muId oI
Ionour, SIukespeure's Iove, wIo beLruyed IIm wILI LIe IoveIy youLI. And LIe "purL oI my rIyme
und Iere my meIuncIoIy" wILI wIIcI BIron uppeurs on LIe sLuge Ior LIe prose monoIogue ("WeII,
sIe IuLI one o' my sonneLs uIreudy") Is one oI LIose wIIcI SIukespeure uddressed Lo LIIs bIuck
und wIILeIy beuuLy. And Iow does RosuIIne come Lo uppIy Lo LIe sIurp-Longued, merry BIron oI
LIe pIuy sucI wIsdom us:
TIe bIood oI youLI burns noL wILI sucI excess As gruvILy's revoIL Lo wunLonness?
¡or Ie Is young und noL uL uII gruve, und by no meuns LIe person wIo couId gIve occusIon Lo
sucI u commenL us LIuL IL Is IumenLubIe wIen wIse men Lurn IooIs und uppIy uII LIeIr wIL Lo gIve
IoIIy LIe uppeurunce oI worLI. ¡n LIe mouLI oI RosuIIne und Ier IrIends BIron IuIIs quILe ouL oI
IIs roIe; Ie Is no Ionger BIron, buL SIukespeure In IIs unIuppy uIIuIr wILI LIe durk Iudy; und
AdrIun, wIo Iud LIe sonneLs, LIuL proIoundIy exLruordInury LrIo oI poeL, IrIend, und beIoved,
uIwuys by IIm In un EngIIsI pockeL edILIon, Iud been Irom LIe begInnIng uL puIns Lo ussImIIuLe
LIe cIurucLer oI IIs BIron Lo LIIs purLIcuIur und IuvourILe dIuIogue und Lo gIve IIm u musIc
wIIcI, In suILubIe proporLIon Lo LIe burIesquIng sLyIe oI LIe wIoIe, mukes IIm "gruve" und
InLeIIecLuuIIy consIderubIe, u genuIne sucrIIIce Lo u sIumeIuI pussIon.
TIuL wus beuuLIIuI, und ¡ pruIsed IL IIgIIy. And Iow mucI reuson LIere wus besIdes Ior pruIse
und joyIuI umuze In wIuL Ie pIuyed Lo us! One couId suy In eurnesL wIuL LIe Ieurned IuIr-spIILLer
HoIoIernes suys oI IImseII: "TIIs Is u gIIL LIuL ¡ Iuve, sImpIe, sImpIe: u IooIIsI exLruvugunL spIrIL,
IuII oI Iorms, IIgures, sIupes, objecLs, Ideus, uppreIensIons, moLIons, revoIuLIons: LIese ure begoL
In LIe venLrIcIe oI memory, nourIsIed In LIe womb oI pIu muLer, und deIIvered upon LIe
meIIowIng oI occusIon." WonderIuI! ¡n u quILe IncIdenLuI, u IudIcrous seLLIng LIe poeL LIere gIves
un IncompurubIy IuII descrIpLIon oI LIe urLIsL essence, und InvoIunLurIIy one reIerred IL Lo LIe
mInd LIuL wus Iere uL work Lo LrunsIer SIukespeure's suLIrIcuI youLIIuI work InLo LIe spIere oI
musIc.
SIuII ¡ compIeLeIy puss over LIe IILLIe IurL IeeIIng, LIe sense oI beIng sIIgILed, wIIcI ¡ IeIL on
LIe score oI LIe subjecL ILseII, LIe mockery oI cIussIcuI sLudIes, wIIcI In LIe pIuy uppeur us usceLIc
precIosILy? OI LIe curIcuLure oI IumunIsm noL AdrIun buL SIukespeure wus guIILy, und Irom
SIukespeure Loo come LIe Ideus wrencIed ouL oI LIeIr order In wIIcI LIe concepLIons "cuILure"
und "burburIsm" pIuy sucI u sInguIur roIe. TIuL Is InLeIIecLuuI monkIsIness, u Ieurned over-
reIInemenL deepIy conLempLuous oI IIIe und nuLure boLI, wIIcI sees LIe burburIc precIseIy In IIIe
und nuLure, In dIrecLness, IumunILy, IeeIIng. BIron IImseII, wIo puLs In some good words Ior
nuLure Lo LIe sworn precieux oI LIe groves oI ucudeme, udmILs LIuL Ie Ius "Ior burburIsm spoke
more LIun Ior LIuL ungeI knowIedge you cun suy." TIe ungeI knowIedge Is Indeed mude
rIdIcuIous, buL uguIn onIy LIrougI LIe rIdIcuIous; Ior LIe "burburIsm" InLo wIIcI LIe group IuIIs
buck, LIe sonneL-drunk InIuLuuLIon LIuL Is IuId upon LIem us u punIsImenL Ior LIeIr dIsusLrous
uIIIunce, Is curIcuLure Loo, In brIIIIunL sLyIe, Iove-persIIIuge; und onIy Loo weII dId AdrIun's musIc
see Lo IL LIuL In LIe end IeeIIng cume no beLLer oII LIun LIe urrogunL IorsweurIng oI IL. MusIc, so ¡
IeIL, wus by ILs very nuLure cuIIed Lo Ieud men ouL oI LIe spIere oI ubsurd urLIIIcIuIILy InLo IresI
uIr, InLo LIe worId oI nuLure und IumunILy. BuL IL reIruIned. TIuL wIIcI LIe nobIe BIron cuIIs
burburIsm, LIuL Is Lo suy LIe sponLuneous'und nuLuruI, ceIebruLes Iere no LrIumpI.
As urL LIIs musIc oI my IrIend wus udmIrubIe Indeed. ConLempLuous oI u muss dIspIuy, Ie Iud
orIgInuIIy wunLed Lo score Ior LIe cIussIcuI BeeLIoven orcIesLru; und onIy Ior LIe suke oI LIe
bombusLIc und ubsurd IIgure oI LIe SpunIurd Armudo Iud Ie InLroduced u second puIr oI Iorns,
LIree Lrombones, und u buss Lubu. BuL everyLIIng wus In sLrIcL cIumber-musIc sLyIe, u deIIcuLe
uIry IIIIgree, u cIever purody In noLes, IngenIous und IumorIsLIc, rIcI In subLIe, IIgI-spIrILed
Ideus. A musIc-Iqver wIo Iud LIred oI romunLIc democrucy und popuIur moruI Hurungues und
demunded un urL Ior urL's suke, un umbILIonIess - or In LIe mosL excIusIve sense umbILIous - urL
Ior urLIsLs und connoIsseurs, musL Iuve been ruvIsIed by LIIs seII-cenLred und compIeLeIy cooI
esoLerIc; buL wIIcI now, us esoLerIc, In LIe spIrIL oI LIe pIece In every wuy mocked und
purodIsLIcuIIy exuggeruLed ILseII, LIus mIxIng InLo ILs ruvIsImenL u gruIn oI IopeIessness, u drop
oI meIuncIoIy.
Yes, udmIruLIon und sudness mIngIed sLrungeIy us ¡ conLempIuLed LIIs musIc. "How beuuLIIuI!"
LIe IeurL suId Lo ILseII- mIne uL IeusL suId so - "und Iow sud!" TIe udmIruLIon wus due Lo u
wILLy und meIuncIoIy work oI urL, un InLeIIecLuuI ucIIevemenL wIIcI deserved LIe nume oI
IeroIc, someLIIng jusL bureIy possIbIe, beIuvIng IIke urrogunL LruvesLy. ¡ know noL Iow oLIerwIse
Lo cIurucLerIze IL LIun by cuIIIng IL u Lense, susLuIned, neck-breukIng gume pIuyed by urL uL LIe
edge oI ImpossIbIIILy. ¡L wus jusL LIIs LIuL mude one sud. BuL udmIruLIon und sudness, udmIruLIon
und doubL, Is LIuL noL uImosL LIe deIInILIon oI Iove? ¡L wus wILI u sLruIned und puInIuI Iove Ior
IIm und wIuL wus IIs LIuL ¡ IIsLened Lo AdrIun's perIormunce. ¡ couId noL suy mucI;
ScIIIdknupp, wIo uIwuys mude u very good, recepLIve uudIence, expressed LIe rIgIL LIIngs mucI
more gIIbIy und InLeIIIgenLIy LIun ¡. Even uILerwurds, uL dInner, ¡ suL benumbed und ubsenL uL LIe
MunurdI LubIe, moved by IeeIIngs wILI wIIcI LIe musIc we Iud Ieurd so IuIIy corresponded.
"ßeti, betil" suId LIe pudronu. "Ic scnçue il tinol" And AmeIIu moved Ier spoons Lo und Iro
beIore Ier Iuce und murmured: "Spiriti? Spiriti?"
TIIs evenIng wus one oI LIe IusL wIIcI we, my good wIIe und ¡, spenL wILI LIe Lwo IrIends In
LIeIr noveI quurLers. A Iew duys IuLer, uILer u sLuy oI LIree weeks, we Iud Lo Ieuve und begIn LIe
reLurn journey Lo Germuny. TIe oLIers Ior monLIs sLIII, on InLo LIe uuLumn, remuIned Lrue Lo LIe
IdyIIIc unIIormILy oI LIeIr exIsLence beLween cIoIsLer gurden, IumIIy LubIe, cumpugnu Irumed In
rIcI goId, und sLone-IIoored sLudy, wIere LIey spenL LIe evenIngs by IumpIIgIL. So IL Iud been
LIe wIoIe oI LIe summer beIore, und LIeIr wInLer wuy oI IIIe In LIe Lown Iud noL been essenLIuIIy
dIIIerenL. TIey IIved In vIu Torre ArgenLInu, neur LIe TeuLro CosLunzI und LIe PunLIeon, LIree
IIIgILs up, wILI u IundIudy wIo guve LIem breukIusL und IuncIeon. ¡n u neur-by LruLLorIu LIey
Look LIeIr dInner uL cIurge oI u monLIIy sum. TIe roIe oI LIe cIoIsLer gurden oI PuIesLrInu wus
pIuyed In Rome by LIe VIIIu DorIu PumIIII, wIere on wurm sprIng und uuLumn duys LIey pursued
LIeIr Iubours besIde u cIussIcuIIy IoveIy IounLuIn wIere Irom LIme Lo LIme u rovIng und pusLurIng
cow or Iorse cume Lo drInk. AdrIun seIdom IuIIed LIe uILernoon munIcIpuI concerLs In PIuzzu
CoIonnu. On occusIon LIere wus un evenIng oI operu; us u ruIe LIey spenL IL pIuyIng domInoes
over u gIuss oI IoL orunge puncI, In u quIeL corner oI some cuIe.
More exLended socIeLy LIun LIIs LIey Iud none - or us good us none. TIeIr IsoIuLIon wus
uImosL us compIeLe In Rome us In LIe counLry. TIe Germun eIemenL LIey uvoIded enLIreIy-
ScIIIdknupp InvurIubIy Look Lo IIIgIL so soon us u sound oI IIs moLIer Longue sLruck on IIs eur.
He wus quILe cupubIe oI geLLIng ouL oI un omnIbus or LruIn wIen LIere were "Germuns" In IL. BuL
LIeIr soIILury wuy oI IIIe - soIILury c deux, IL Is Lrue - guve IILLIe opporLunILy Lo muke even ¡LuIIun
IrIends. TwIce durIng LIe wInLer LIey were InvILed by u Iudy oI IndeIInILe orIgIns wIo puLronIzed
urL und urLIsLs, Mrue de ConIur, Lo wIom RüdIger ScIIIdknupp Iud u MunIcI IeLLer oI
InLroducLIon. ¡n Ier Iome on LIe Corso, decoruLed wILI personuIIy sIgned pIoLogrupIs In pIusI
und sIIver Irumes, LIey meL Iordes oI InLernuLIonuI urLIsLs, LIeuLre peopIe, puInLers, musIcIuns,
PoIIsI, HungurIuns, ¡rencI, uIso ¡LuIIuns; buL IndIvIduuI persons LIey soon IosL sIgIL oI.
SomeLImes ScIIIdknupp sepuruLed Irom AdrIun Lo drInk muImsey wILI young BrILIsIers InLo
wIose urms IIs EngIIsI predIIecLIon Iud drIven IIm; Lo muke excursIons Lo TIvoII or LIe TruppIsL
monusLery uL QuuLLro ¡onLune, Lo consume eucuIypLus brundy und LuIk nonsense wILI LIem us u
reIIeI Irom LIe consumIng dIIIIcuILIes oI LIe urL oI LrunsIuLIon.
¡n sIorL, In Lown us In LIe IsoIuLIon oI LIe counLry vIIIuge LIe Lwo Ied u IIIe remoLe Irom LIe
worId und munkInd, enLIreIy Luken up by LIe cures oI LIeIr work. AL IeusL one cun so express IL.
And sIuII ¡ suy LIuL LIe depurLure Irom LIe MunurdI Iouse, Iowever unwIIIIngIy ¡ now us uIwuys
IeIL AdrIun's sIde, wus uccompunIed wILI u cerLuIn prIvuLe IeeIIng oI reIIeI? To uLLer IL Is
equIvuIenL Lo LIe obIIguLIon oI jusLIIyIng LIe IeeIIng, und LIuL Is Iurd Lo do wILIouL puLLIng myseII
und oLIers In u somewIuL IuugIubIe IIgIL. TIe LruLI Is: In u cerLuIn poInL, in puncto puncti us
young peopIe IIke Lo suy, ¡ Iormed In LIe compuny u somewIuL comIc excepLIon und IeII so Lo
speuk ouL oI LIe Irume; numeIy, In my quuIILy und wuy oI IIIe us u benedIcL, wIIcI puId LrIbuLe Lo
wIuL we IuII excusIngIy, IuII gIorIIyIngIy cuIIed "nuLure." Nobody eIse In LIe cusLeIIo-Iouse on
LIe Lerruced Iune dId so. Our exceIIenL IosLess, SIgnoru PeroneIIu, Iud been u wIdow Ior yeurs,
Ier duugILer AmeIIu wus u IuII-IdIoL cIIId. TIe broLIers MunurdI, Iuwyer und peusunL, seemed Lo
be Iurdened bucIeIors, yes, one couId ImugIne LIuL neILIer oI LIem Iud ever IuId u IInger on u
womun. TIere wus CousIn DurIo, grey und mIId, wILI u LIny, uIIIng IILLIe wIIe, u puIr wIose Iove
couId cerLuInIy be InLerpreLed onIy In LIe curILus sense oI LIe word. And IInuIIy LIere were AdrIun
und RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, wIo spenL monLI uILer monLI In LIIs uusLere und peuceIuI cIrcIe LIuL
we Iud Ieurned Lo know, IIvIng noL oLIerwIse LIun dId LIe cIoIsLered monks ubove. WouId noL
LIuL, Ior me, LIe ordInury mun, Iuve someLIIng morLIIyIng und depressIng ubouL IL?
OI ScIIIdknupp's purLIcuIur reIuLIon Lo LIe wIde worId oI possIbIIILIes Ior IuppIness, und oI IIs
Lendency Lo be spurIng wILI LIem, us Ie wus spurIng wILI IImseII, ¡ Iuve spoken beIore. ¡ suw In
IL LIe key Lo IIs wuy oI IIIe, IL served me us expIunuLIon Ior LIe IucL, oLIerwIse Iurd Ior me Lo
undersLund, LIuL Ie succeeded In IL. ¡L wus oLIerwIse wILI AdrIun, uILIougI ¡ IeIL cerLuIn LIuL LIIs
communILy oI cIusLILy wus LIe busIs oI LIeIr IrIendsIIp, or II LIe word Is Loo sLrong, LIeIr IIIe
LogeLIer. ¡ suspecL LIuL ¡ Iuve noL succeeded In IIdIng Irom LIe reuder u cerLuIn jeuIousy oI LIe
SIIesIun's reIuLIons wILI AdrIun; II so, Ie muy uIso undersLund LIuL IL wus LIIs IIIe In common,
LIIs bond oI conLInence, wILI wIIcI uILer uII my jeuIousy Iud Lo do.
¡I ScIIIdknupp, IeL us suy, IIved us u roue oI LIe poLenLIuIILIes, AdrIun - ¡ couId noL doubL IL -
sInce LIuL journey Lo Gruz or oLIerwIse Pressburg, IIved LIe IIIe oI u suInL - us Indeed Ie Iud
done up Lo LIen. BuL now ¡ LrembIed uL LIe LIougIL LIuL IIs cIusLILy sInce LIen, sInce LIuL
embruce, sInce IIs pussIng conLugIon und LIe Ioss oI IIs pIysIcIuns, sprung no Ionger Irom LIe
eLIos oI purILy buL Irom LIe puLIos oI ImpurILy.
TIere Iud uIwuys been In IIs nuLure someLIIng oI noli me tcnçere. ¡ knew LIuL; IIs dIsLusLe Ior
LIe Loo greuL pIysIcuI neurness oI peopIe, IIs dIsIIke oI "geLLIng In eucI oLIer's sLeum," IIs uvoId-
unce oI pIysIcuI conLucL, were IumIIIur Lo me. He wus In LIe reuI sense oI LIe word u mun oI
dIsIncIInuLIon, uvoIdunce, reserve, uIooIness. PIysIcuI cordIuIILIes seemed quILe ImpossIbIe Lo
ussocIuLe wILI IIs nuLure, even IIs IundsIuke wus InIrequenL und IusLIIy perIormed. More
pIuInIy LIun ever LIIs cIurucLerIsLIc cume ouL durIng my vIsIL und Lo me, ¡ cunnoL suy wIy, IL wus
us LIougI LIe "ToucI me noL!" LIe "LIree puces oII," Iud Lo some exLenL uILered ILs meunIng, us
LIougI IL were noL so mucI LIuL un udvunce wus dIscouruged us LIuL un udvunce Irom LIe oLIer
sIde wus sIrunk Irom und uvoIded - und LIIs, undoubLedIy, wus connecLed wILI IIs ubsLenLIon
Irom women.
OnIy u IrIendsIIp us keen-eyed und peneLruLIng us mIne couId IeeI or dIvIne sucI u cIunge oI
sIgnIIIcunce; und muy God keep me Irom IeLLIng my pIeusure In AdrIun's compuny be uIIecLed
LIereby! WIuL wus goIng on In IIm couId sIuLLer me buL never sever me Irom IIm. TIere ure
peopIe wILI wIom IL Is noL eusy Lo IIve; buL Lo Ieuve ImpossIbIe,

CHAPTIR XXV
TIe documenL Lo wIIcI repeuLed reIerence Ius been mude In LIese puges, AdrIun's secreL
record, sInce IIs demIse In my possessIon und guurded IIke u IrIgILIuI und precIous Lreusure,
Iere IL Is, ¡ oIIer IL IerewILI. TIe bIogrupIIcuI momenL Ius come. And uccordIngIy ¡ myseII musL
ceuse Lo speuk, sInce In spIrIL ¡ Iuve Lurned my buck on IIs deIIberuLeIy cIosen reIuge, sIured
wILI LIe SIIesIun, wIere ¡ Iud sougIL IIm ouL. ¡n LIIs LwenLy-IIILI cIupLer LIe reuder Ieurs
AdrIun's voIce dIrecL.
BuL Is IL onIy IIs? TIIs Is u dIuIogue wIIcI IIes beIore us. AnoLIer, quILe oLIer, quILe IrIgILIuIIy
oLIer, Is LIe prIncIpuI speuker, und LIe wrILer, In IIs sLone-IIoored IIvIng-room, onIy wrILes down
wIuL Ie Ieurd Irom LIuL oLIer. A dIuIogue? ¡s IL reuIIy u dIuIogue? ¡ sIouId be mud Lo beIIeve IL.
And LIereIore ¡ cunnoL beIIeve LIuL In LIe depLIs oI IIs souI AdrIun IImseII consIdered Lo be
ucLuuI LIuL wIIcI Ie suw und Ieurd - eILIer wIIIe Ie Ieurd und suw IL or uILerwurds, wIen Ie
puL IL on puper; noLwILIsLundIng LIe cynIcIsms wILI wIIcI IIs InLerIocuLor sougIL Lo convInce
IIm oI IIs objecLIve presence. BuL II Ie wus noL LIere, LIuL vIsILor - und ¡ sIudder uL LIe
udmIssIon wIIcI IIes In LIe very words, seemIng even condILIonuIIy und us u possIbIIILy Lo en-
LerLuIn IIs ucLuuIILy - LIen IL Is IorrIbIe Lo LIInk LIuL LIose cynIcIsms Loo, LIose jeerIngs und
juggIIngs, cume ouL oI LIe uIIIIcLed one's own souI...
¡L goes wILIouL suyIng LIuL ¡ Iuve no Ideu oI LurnIng over AdrIun's munuscrIpL Lo LIe prInLer.
WILI my own Iund ¡ wIII LrunscrIbe IL word Ior word In my LexL Irom LIe musIc-puper covered
wILI IIs scrIpL, wIIcI ¡ cIurucLerIzed eurIIer In LIese memoIrs: IIs smuII, oId-IusIIoned, IIorId,
very bIuck round-Iund, LIe wrILIng oI u scrIbe, u monk, one mIgIL suy. He used IIs musIc
noLepuper obvIousIy becuuse no oLIer wus uL Iund uL LIe momenL, or becuuse LIe IILLIe sIop
down In LIe PIuzzu SL. AgupILus Iud no proper wrILIng-puper. TIere ure uIwuys Lwo IInes on LIe
upper IIve-IIne sysLem und Lwo on LIe buss; LIe wIILe spuces In beLween ure covered LIrougIouL
wILI Lwo IInes eucI.
NoL wILI enLIre deIInILeness cun LIe LIme oI wrILIng be mude ouL, Ior LIe documenL beurs no
duLe. ¡I my convIcLIon Is worLI unyLIIng, IL wus cerLuInIy noL wrILLen uILer our vIsIL Lo LIe moun-
LuIn vIIIuge or durIng our sLuy LIere. EILIer IL comes Irom eurIIer In LIe summer, oI wIIcI we
spenL LIree weeks wILI LIe IrIends, or IL duLes Irom LIe summer beIore, LIe IIrsL LIey spenL us
guesLs oI LIe MunurdIs. TIuL uL LIe LIme we were LIere LIe experIence wIIcI Is LIe busIs oI LIe
munuscrIpL Iuy uIreudy In LIe pusL; LIuL AdrIun uL LIuL LIme Iud uIreudy Iud LIe conversuLIon
wIIcI IoIIows, umounLs wILI me Lo u cerLuInLy; so does IL LIuL Ie wroLe IL down uL once uILer LIe
evenL, presumubIy LIe very nexL duy.
So now ¡ copy IL down - und ¡ Ieur LIuL no dIsLunL expIosIons jurrIng my reLreuL wIII be needed
Lo muke my Iund sIuke us ¡ wrILe und my IeLLers Lo be III-Iormed.
¯ ¯ ¯
WIIsL, mum's LIe word. And cerLes ¡ scIuI be mum, wIII IoId my Lunge, were IL sIeerIy ouL oI
sIume, Lo spure IoIkes IeeIIngs, Ior socIuI consIderuLIons IorsooLI! Am IIrmIy mInded Lo keep IusL
IoId on reuson und decency, noL gIvIng wuy even up LIII LIe end. BuL seen HIm ¡ Iuve, uL IusL, uL
IusL! He wus wILI me, Iere In LIIs IuII, He sougIL me ouL; unexpecLed, yeL Iong expecLed. ¡ IeId
pIenLeous purIey wILI HIm, und now LIereuILer ¡ um vexed buL sILI ¡ um noL cerLuIn wIereuL ¡ dId
sIuke uII LIe wIoIe LIme: un 'Lwere uL LIe coId, or uL HIm. DId ¡ beguIIe myseII, or He me, LIuL IL
wus coId, so ¡ mIgIL quuke und LIereby cerLIIy myseII LIuL He wus LIere, HImseII In person? ¡or
verIIy no mun buL knows Ie Is u IooI wIIcI quukeLI uL IIs proper bruIn-muggoL; Ior sooner Is
sucI weIcome Lo IIm und Ie yIeIdeLI wILIouL or sIukIng or quukIng LIereunLo. MuyIup ¡Ie dId
buL deIude me, mukIng ouL by LIe bruLIsI coId ¡ wus no IooI und He no IIgmenL, sInce ¡ u IooI dId
quuke beIore HIm? He Is u wIIy-pIe.
NuLIeIes ¡ wIII be mum, wIII IoId mç Longe und mumcIunce IIde uII down Iere on my musIc-
puper, wIIIes my oId jesLer-Iere in eremo, Iur uwuy In LIe IuII, LruvuIIs und LoIIs Lo Lurn LIe Ioved
ouLIundIsI InLo LIe IouLIed moLIer Longue. He weens LIuL ¡ compose, und were Ie Lo see LIuL ¡
wrILe words, wouId buL deem BeeLIoven dId so Loo.
AII LIe wIoIe duy, poor wreLcI, ¡ Iud IIen In LIe durk wILI Irksome mygrym, reLcIIng und
spewIng, us IuppeLI wILI LIe severer seIzures. BuL uL evenLIde quILe suddenIy cume unexpecLed
beLLermenL. ¡ couId keep down LIe soup LIe MoLIer brougIL me ("Poterettol), wILI good cIeer
drunk u gIuss oI rosso ("ßeti, betil") und on u sudden IeIL so sLuuncI us Lo uIIow myseII u cIgu-
reLLe. ¡ couId even Iuve gone ouL, us Iud been urrunged LIe duy beIore. DurIo M. wunLed Lo Luke
us down Lo IIs cIub und InLroduce us Lo LIe beLLer sorL oI PruenesLensIuns, sIow us reudIng-
room, bIIIIurd-room, und ubouL LIe pIuce. We Iud no IeurL Lo oIIend LIe good souI, buL IL cume
down Lo ScI. goIng uIone, ¡ beIng IorgIven due Lo my uLLuck. ¡rom prcnzo Ie sLuIked oII wILI u
sour counLenunce, down LIe sLreeL uL DurIo's sIde Lo LIe Iurmers und pIIIIsLInes, und ¡ sLopped by
myseII.
¡ suLe uIone Iere, by my Iump, nIgI Lo LIe wIndows wILI sIuLLers cIosed, beIore me LIe IengLI
oI LIe IuII, und reud KIrkeguurd on MozurL's Don 1ucn.
TIen In u cIup ¡ um sLrIcken by u cuLLIng coId, even us LIougI ¡ suL In u wInLer-wurm room und
u wIndow Iud bIown open Lowurds LIe IrosL. ¡L cume noL Irom beIInd me, wIere LIe wIndows IIe;
IL IuIIs on me Irom In IronL. ¡ sLurL up Irom my boke und Iook ubroud InLo LIe IuII, beIIke ScI. Is
come buck Ior ¡ um no more uIone. TIere Is some bodye LIere In LIe mIrk, sILLIng on LIe Iorse-
IuIr soIu LIuL sLunds uImosL In LIe myddes oI LIe room, nIgIer LIe door, wILI LIe LubIe und
cIuIrs, wIere we euL our breukIusLs. SILLIng In LIe soIu-corner wILI Iegs crossed; noL ScI., buL
unoLIer, smuIIer LIun Ie, In no wIse so ImposIng und noL In LruLI u genLIImun uL uII. BuL LIe coId
keeps percIng me.
"Chi e costc?" Is wIuL ¡ sIouL wILI some cuLcI In my LIrouL, proppIng my Iunds on LIe cIuIr-
urms, In sucI wIse LIuL LIe book IuIIs Irom my knees Lo LIe IIoore. Answers LIe quIeL, sIow voIce
oI LIe oLIer, u voIce LIuL sounds LruIned, wILI pIeusIng nusuI resonunce:
"Speuk onIy Germun! OnIy good oId Germun wILIouL IeIgned-ness or dIssImuIuLIon. ¡
undersLund IL. ¡L Iuppens Lo be jusL precIseIy my Iuvoured Iunguuge. WIIIes ¡ undersLund onIy
Germun. BuL IeL LIee u cIouk, u IuL und rug. TIou urL coId. And quIver und quuke LIou wIIL, even
LIougI noL LukIng u coId."
"WIo suys thou Lo me?" ¡ usk, cIuIIng.
"¡," Ie suys. "¡, by your Ieuve. OI, LIou meunesL becuuse LIou suysL Lo nobody LIou, noL even Lo
LIy jesLer genLIImun, buL onIy Lo LIe LrusLy pIuy-Iere, Ie wIo cIepes LIee by LIe IIrsL nume buL noL
LIou IIm. No muLLer. TIere Is uIreudy enougI beLween us Ior us Lo suy LIou. WeI, LIen: wIIL IeL
LIyseII some wurm gurmenL?"
¡ sLure InLo LIe IuII-IIgIL, IIx IIm ungrIIy In mIne eye. A mun: ruLIer spIndIIng, noL neurIy so
LuII us ScI., smuIIer even LIen ¡.
A sporLs cup over one eur, on LIe oLIer sIde reddIsI IuIr sLundIng up Irom LIe LempIe; reddIsI
IusIes und pInk eyes, u cIeesy Iuce, u droopIng nose wILI wry LIp. Over dIugonuI-sLrIped LrIcoL
sIIrL u cIequer juckeL; sIeeves Loo sIorL, wILI suusuge-IIngers comIng Loo Iur ouL; breecIes
IndecenLIy LIgIL, worn-down yeIIow sIoes. An ugIy cusLomer, u buIIy, u strizzi, u rougI. And wILI
un ucLor's voIce und eIoquence.
"WeII?" Ie suys uguIn.
"¡IrsL und IoremosL ¡ IuIn wouId know," suy ¡ In quukIng cuIm, "wIo Is boId enougI Lo Iorce
IImseII In Lo sIL down Iere wILI me."
"¡IrsL und IoremosL,", Ie repeuLs. "¡IrsL und IoremosL Is noL bud uL uII. BuL you ure
oversensILIve Lo uny vIsIL you IoId Lo be unexpecLed und undesIred. ¡ um no IIuLLerIng cIuw-buck
come Lo IeLcI you InLo compuny, Lo woo you LIuL you muy joIn LIe musIcuI cIrcIe; buL Lo LuIk over
our uIIuIrs. WIIL IeLcI LIy LIIngs? ¡L Is III LuIkIng wILI LeeLI cIuLLerIng."
¡ suL u Iew seconds Ienger, noL LukIng my eyes oII IIm. And LIe cuLLIng coId, comIng Irom IIm,
rusIes uL me, so LIuL ¡ IeeI bure und buId beIore IL In my IIgIL suIL. So ¡ go. VerIIy ¡ sLund up und
puss LIrougI LIe nexL door Lo LIe IeIL, wIere my bedcIumber Is (LIe oLIers beIng IurLIer down
on LIe sume sIde), Luke my wInLer cIoke ouL oI LIe presse LIuL ¡ weur In Rome on LrumonLunu
duys und IL Iud Lo come uIong us ¡ wIsL noL wIere ¡ mIgIL Ieuve IL eIse; puL my IuL on Loo, Luke my
rug und so IurnIsIed go buck Lo my pIuce.
TIere Ie sLIII sILs In IIs, jusL us ¡ IeIL IIm.
"Ye're sLIII LIere," suy ¡, LurnIng up my couL-coIIur und wruppIng my pIuId ubouL my knees -
"even uILer ¡'ve gone und come buck? ¡ murveI uL IL. ¡or ¡'ve u sLrong suspIcIon y'ure noL LIere uL
uII."
"No?" Ie usks In IIs LruIned voIce, wILI nusuI resonunce. "¡or wIy?"
¡: "Becuuse IL Is noLIIng IIkeIy LIuL u mun sIouId seuL IImseII Iere wILI me oI un evenIng,
speukIng Germun und gIvIng ouL coId, wILI preLence Lo dIscuss wILI me geur wIereoI ¡ woL nor
wouId woL nuugIL. MIcIe more IIke Is IL ¡ um wuxIng sIcke und LrunsIerrIng Lo your Iorm LIe
cIIIIs und Iever uguInsL LIe wIIcI ¡ um wrupped, sneuped by IrosL, und In LIe beIoIdIng oI you
see buL LIe source oI IL."
He (quIeLIy und convIncIngIy IuugIIng, IIke un ucLor): "TIIIy-vuIIy, wIuL Ieurned gIbberIdge you
LuIk! ¡n good pIuyne oId Germun, 'LIs Iond und IrunLIck. And so urLIIIcIuI! A cIever urLIIIce, un
'Lwere sLoIen Irom LIIne own operu! BuL we muke no musIc Iere, uL LIe momenL. Moreover IL Is
pure IypocIondrIu. Don'L ImugIne uny InIIrmILIes! Huve u IILLIe prIde und don'L Iose grIp oI
yourseII! TIere's no sIckness breukIng ouL, uILer LIe sIIgIL uLLuck you ure In LIe besL oI youLIIuI
IeuILI. BuL ¡ cry you mercy, ¡ wouId noL be LucLIess, Ior wIuL Is IeuILI? TIuswIse, my goodIy Iere,
your sIckness does noL breuk ouL. You Iuve noL u Lruce oI Iever und no occusIon wIereIore you
sIouId ever Iuve uny."
¡: "¡urLIer, becuuse wILI every LIIrd word ye uLLer you uncover your noLIIngness. You suy
noLIIng suve LIIngs LIuL ure In me und come ouL oI me buL noL ouL oI you. You upe oId KumpI
wILI Lurns oI pIruse yeL Iook noL us LIougI you ever Iud been In ucudemIe or IIgIer scIooI or
ever suL nexL Lo me on LIe scorn-er's bencI. You LuIk oI LIe needy genLIImun und oI IIm Lo wIom
¡ speuk In LIe sInguIur number, und even oI sucI us Iuve done so und reuped buL IILLIe LIunk.
And oI my operu you speuk Loo. WIence couId you know uII LIuL?"
He (IuugIs uguIn IIs prucLIsed IuugI, sIukIng IIs Ieud us uL some prIceIess cIIIdIsIness): "Yeu,
wIence? BuL see, ¡ do know IL. And you wIII concIude LIereIrom Lo your own dIscredIL LIuL you
do noL see urIgIL? TIuL were LruIy Lo seL uII IogIck upso-down, us one Ieurns uL LIe scIooIs.
'Twere beLLer Lo concIude, noL LIuL ¡ um noL Iere In LIe IIesI, buL LIuL ¡, Iere In my person, um
uIso Ie Ior wIom you Iuve Luken me uII LIe wIoIe LIme."
¡: "And Ior wIom do ¡ Luke you?"
He (poIILeIy reproucIIuI): "TuL, LuL! Do noL IuIn IL LIus, us LIougI you Iud noL been Iong sInce
expecLIng me! You wIL usweI us ¡ LIuL our reIuLIon demunds u dIspIcIon. ¡I ¡ um - und LIuL ¡ ween
you do now udmIL - LIen ¡ cun be buL One. Or do you meun, wIuL ¡ IygIL? BuL you cun sLIII
recuII uII LIe scurrIIe nIcknumes Irom LIe scIooIe, Irom your IIrsL sLudIes, wIen you Iud noL puL
LIe Good Boke ouL oI LIe door und under LIe bencI. You Iuve LIem uII uL your IIngers' ends, you
muy eIecL one - ¡ Iuve scunL oLIers, LIey ure weII-nIgI uII nIcknumes, wILI LIe wIIcI peopIe, so
Lo speke, cIuck me under LIe cIIn: LIuL comes Irom my good sound Germun popuIurILy. A mun
Is gruLIIIed by popuIurILy, ¡ Lrow, even wIen Ie Ius noL sougIL IL ouL und uL boLLom Is convInced
LIuL IL resLs on IuIse undersLundIng. ¡L Is uIwuys IIuLLerIng, uIwuys does u bodye good. CIoose one
yourseII, II you wouId cuII me by nume, uILIougI you commonIy do noL cuII peopIe by nume uL
uII; Ior Iuck oI InLeresL you do noL know wIuL LIey IIgIL. BuL cIoose uny one you IIsL umong LIe
peL numes LIe peusunLs gIve me. OnIy one ¡ cunnoL und wIII noL ubIde becuuse IL Is dIsLIncLIy u
muIIcIous sIunder und IILs me noL u wIIL. WIosoever cuIIs me Dicis et non jccts Is In LIe wrong
box. ¡L Loo muy even be u IInger cIuckIng my cIIn, buL IL Is u cuIumny. ¡ do ywIsse wIuL ¡ suy,
keep my promIse Lo u LILLIe; LIuL Is precIseIy my busIness prIncIpIe, more or Iess us LIe Jews ure
LIe mosL reIIubIe deuIers, und wIen IL comes Lo deceIL, weII, IL Is u common suyIng LIuL IL wus
uIwuys ¡, wIo beIIeve In good IuILI und rIgIL-wIseness, wIo um beguIIed."
¡: "Dicis et non es. Ye wouId IorsooLIe sIL LIere uguInsL me on LIe soIu und speuk ouLwurdIy Lo
me In good KumpIIsI, In oId-Germun snuLcIes? Ye wouId vIsIL me deIIberuLeIy Iere In ¡LuIy oI uII
pIuces, wIere you ure enLIreIy ouL oI your spIere und noL on LIe peusunL Longue uL uII? WIuL un
ubsurd wunL oI sLyIe! ¡n KuI-sersuscIern ¡ couId Iuve suIIered IL. AL WILLenberg or on LIe
WurLburg, even In ¡eIpzIg you wouId Iuve been credIbIe Lo me. BuL noL Iere under LIIs pugun
und CuLIoIIc sky!"
He (sIukIng IIs Ieud und puIned cIuckIng wILI IIs Longue): "TeI, LcI, LcI! uIwuys LIIs sume
dIsLrusL, LIIs sume Iuck oI seII-conIIdence! ¡I you Iud LIe couruge Lo suy unLo yourseII: 'WIere ¡
um, LIere Is KuIsersuscIern' - weII und good, LIe LIIng wouId be In Irume, LIe Herr uesLIeLIcus
wouId needs muke moun no more over Iuck oI sLyIe. CocksbIood! You wouId Iuve LIe rIgIL Lo
speuk IIke LIuL, yeL you jusL Iuven'L LIe couruge or you ucL us LIougI you Iucked IL. SeII-
beIILLIemenL, my IrIend - und you underesLImuLe me Loo, II you IImIL me LIuswIse und Lry Lo
muke u Germun provIncIuI oI me. ¡ um In IucL Germun, Germun Lo LIe core, yeL even so In un
oIder, beLLer wuy, Lo wIL cosmopoIILun Irom my IeurL. WouIdsL deny me uwuy, wouIdsL reIuse Lo
consIder LIe oId Germun romunLIc wunder-urge und yeurnIng uILer LIe IuIr Iund oI ¡LuIy! Germun
¡ um, buL LIuL ¡ sIouId once In good Dureresque sLyIe Ireeze und sIIver uILer LIe sun, LIuL Your
ExceIIency wIII noL grunL me - noL even wIen quILe usIde Irom LIe sun, ¡ Iuve deIIcuLe und
urgenL busIness Iere, wILI u IIne, weII-creuLed Iumun beIng... "
Here un unspeukubIe dIsgusL cume over me, so LIuL ¡ sIuddered vIoIenLIy. BuL LIere wus no
reuI dIIIerence beLween LIe grounds oI my sIudder; IL mIgIL be uL one und LIe sume LIme Ior
coId, Loo; LIe druugIL Irom IIm Iud goL ubrupLIy sLronger, so LIuL IL wenL LIrougI my overcouL
und pIerced me Lo my murrow. AngrIIy ¡ usk:
"CunnoL you uwuy wILI LIIs nuIsunce, LIIs Icy druugIL?"
He: "AIus, no, ¡ regreL noL Lo be ubIe Lo gruLIIy you. BuL LIe IucL Is, ¡ cm coId. How oLIerwIse
couId ¡ IoId ouL und IInd IL possIbIe Lo dweII wIere ¡ dweII?"
¡ (InvoIunLurIIy): "You meun In LIe brennIng pIL oI IIer?"
He (IuugIs us LIougI LIckIed): "CupILuI! SuId In LIe good robusL und merry Germun wuy. ¡L Ius
Indeed muny oLIer preLLy numes, scIoIurIy, puLIeLIcuI, LIe Herr DocLor ex-TIeoIogus knows
LIem uII, us cureer, exILIum, conIuLuLIo, pernIcIes, condemnuLIo, und so on. BuL LIere Is no
remedy, LIe IumIIIur Germun, LIe comIc ones ure sLIII my IuvourILes. However, IeL us Ior LIe
nonce Ieuve LIuL pIuce und LIe nuLure oI IL. ¡ see by your Iuce, you ure uL LIe poInL oI uskIng ubouL
IL; buL LIuL Is Iur oII, noL In LIe IeusL u brennIng quesLIon - you wIII IorgIve me LIe bourd, LIuL IL
Is noL brennIng! TIere Is LIme Ior IL, pIenLeous, boundIess LIme - LIme Is LIe ucLuuI LIIng, LIe
besL we gIve, und our gIIL LIe Ioure-gIusse - IL Is so IIne, LIe IILLIe neck, LIrougI wIIcI LIe red
sund runs, u LIreudIIke LrIckIe, does noL mInIsI uL uII Lo LIe eye In LIe upper cuvILIe, suve uL LIe
very end; LIen IL does seem Lo speed und Lo Iuve gone IusL. BuL LIuL Is so Iur uwuy, LIe nurrow
purL, IL Is noL worLI LuIkIng or LIInkIng ubouL. AIbeIL InusmucI us LIe gIuss Is seL und LIe sund
Ius begun Lo run; Ior LIIs reuson, my good mun, ¡ wouId IuIn come Lo un undersLundIng wILI
you."
¡ (IuII scornIuIIy): "ExLruordInurIIy DIIrerIsI. You Iove IL. ¡IrsL 'Iow wIII ¡ sIIver uILer LIe sun';
und LIen LIe Ioure-gIusse oI LIe Melcncolic. ¡s LIe mugIc squure comIng Loo? ¡ um prepured Ior
everyLIIng, cun geL used Lo everyLIIng. Get used Lo your sIumeIessness, your LIee-Ing und LIou-
Ing und LrusLy IereIng, wIIcI sooLIIy uIwuys go purLIcuIurIy uguInsL LIe wood. AILer uII ¡ suy 'LIou'
onIy Lo myseII, wIIcI oI IIkeIIIood expIuIns wIy you do. AccordIng Lo you ¡ um speukIng wILI
bIuck Kuspur, wIIcI Is one oI LIe numes, und so Kuspur und SumIeI ure one und LIe sume."
He: "OII you go uguIn!"
¡: "SumIeI. ¡L gIveLI u mun Lo IuugI. WIere LIen Is your C-mInor IorLIssImo oI sLrInged LremoII,
wood und Lrombones, IngenIous bug Lo IrIgIL cIIIdren, LIe romunLIc pubIIc, comIng ouL oI LIe ¡-
sIurp mInor oI LIe GIen us you ouL oI your ubyss - ¡ wonder ¡ Ieur IL noL!"
He: "¡eL LIuL be. We Iuve muny u IoveIIer InsLrumenL und you sIuII Ieur LIem. We sIuII pIuy
Ior you, wIen you be rIpe Lo Ieur. EveryLIIng Is u muLLer oI rIpeness und oI deur LIme. JusL LIuL ¡
wouId speuk oI wILI you. BuL SumIeI - LIuL's u IoIIsI Iorm. ¡ um uII Ior LIuL Is oI LIe IoIk: buL
SumIeI, Loo IooIIsI, JoIunn BuIIIorn Irom ¡ubeck correcLed IL. SummueI IL Is. And wIuL sIgnIIIes
SummueI?"
¡ (deIIunL, do noL unswer).
He: "WIuL, ne'er u word buL mum? ¡ IIke LIe dIscreeL wuy In wIIcI you Ieuve me Lo puL IL In
Germun. ¡L meuns ungeI oI deuLI."
¡ (beLween my LeeLI, wIIcI wIII noL sLuy properIy cIosed): "Yes, dIsLIncLIy, LIuL Is wIuL you Iook
IIke! JusL IIke unLo un ungeI, exucLIy. Do you know Iow you Iook? Common Is noL LIe word Ior IL.
¡Ike some sIumeIess scum, u Iewd IoseI, u muke-buLe, LIuL Is Iow you Iook, Iow you Iuve Iound
good Lo vIsIL me - und no ungeI!"
He (IookIng down uL IImseII, wILI IIs urms sLreLcIed ouL): "How LIen, Iow LIen? How do ¡
Iook? No, IL Is reuIIy good LIuL you usk me II ¡ woL Iow ¡ Iook, Ior by my LroLI ¡ woL noL. Or wIsL
noL, you cuIIed IL Lo my uLLenLIon. Be sure, ¡ reck noLIIng uL uII Lo my ouLwurd uppeurunce, ¡ Ieuve
IL so Lo suy Lo ILseII. ¡L Is sIeer cIunce Iow ¡ Iook, or ruLIer, IL comes ouL IIke LIuL, IL IuppeLI IIke
LIuL uccordIng Lo LIe cIrcumsLunces, wILIouL my LukIng Ieed. AdupLuLIon, mImIcry, you know IL,
oI course. Mummery und juggIery oI moLIer NuLure, wIo uIwuys Ius Ier Longue In Ier cIeek.
BuL you won'L, my good Iere, reIer LIe udupLuLIon, ubouL wIIcI ¡ know jusL us mucI und us IILLIe
us LIe IeuI buLLerIIy, Lo yourseII, und Luke IL III oI me. You musL udmIL LIuL Irom LIe oLIer sIde IL
Ius someLIIng suILubIe ubouL IL - on LIuL sIde wIere you goL IL Irom, und Indeed Iorewurned,
Irom LIe sIde oI your preLLy song wILI LIe IeLLer symboI - oI, reuIIy IngenIousIy done, und
uImosL us LIougI by InspIruLIon:
WIen once LIou guvesL Lo me AL nIgIL LIe cooIIng druugIL, WILI poIson dIdsL undo me
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
TIen on LIe wound LIe serpenL ¡usLened und IIrmIy sucked -
ReuIIy gIILed. TIuL Is wIuL we recognIzed beLImes und wIy Irom eurIy on we Iud un eye on you
- we suw LIuL your cuse wus quILe deIInILeIy worLI LIe LroubIe, LIuL IL wus u cuse oI LIe mosL Iu-
vourubIe sILuuLIon, wIereoI wILI onIy u IILLIe oI our IIre IIgILed under IL, onIy u IILLIe IeuLIng,
eIuLIon, InLoxIcuLIon, someLIIng brIIIIunL couId be brougIL ouL. DId noL BIsmurck suy someLIIng
ubouL LIe Germuns needIng IuII u boLLIe oI cIumpugne Lo urrIve uL LIeIr normuI IeIgIL?
Meseems Ie suId someLIIng oI LIe sorL.
And LIuL oI rIgIL. GIILed buL IuIL Is LIe Germun - gIILed enougI Lo be ungry wILI IIs puruIysIs,
und Lo overcome IL by Iund-overIeud IIIumInuLIon. You, my good mun, weII knew wIuL you
needed, und Look LIe rIgIL roud wIen you mude your journey und scltc tenic summoned your
¡rencI beIoved Lo you."
"HoId LIy Longue!"
"HoId LIy Longue? We ure comIng on. We wux wurm. AL IusL you drop LIe poIILe pIuruI number
und suy 'LIou,' us IL sIouId be beLween peopIe wIo ure In Ieugue und conLrucL Ior LIme und
eLernILy."
"WIII ye IoId your Longue sLIII?"
"SLIII? BuL we Iuve been sLIII Ior nIgI IIve yeurs und musL uILer uII someLIme IoId purIey und
udvIse over LIe wIoIe und over LIe InLeresLIng sILuuLIon wIereIn you IInd yourseII. TIIs Is
nuLuruIIy u LIIng Lo keep wry ubouL, buL uILer uII noL uL LIe IengLI - wIen LIe Ioure-gIusse Is seL,
LIe red sund Ius begun Lo run LIrougI LIe IIne-IIne neck - uI, buL onIy jusL begun! ¡L Is sLIII
uImosL noLIIng, wIuL IIes underneuLI, by compurIson wILI uII LIere Is on Lop; we gIve LIme,
pIenLeous LIme, ubundunL LIme by LIe eye, LIe end wIereoI we do noL need Lo consIder, noL Ior u
Iong LIme yeL, nor need Lo LroubIe yeL uwIIIe even oI LIe poInL oI LIme wIere you couId begIn Lo
Luke Ieed Lo LIe endIng, wIere IL mIgIL come Lo 'Respice jinem? SILIence IL Is u vurIubIe poInL,
IeIL Lo cuprIce und Lemper, und nobody knows wIere IL sIouId begIn, und Iow nIgI Lo LIe end
one sIouId Iuy IL ouL. TIIs Is u good bourd und cupILuI urrungemenL: LIe uncerLuInLy und LIe Iree
cIoIce oI LIe momenL wIen LIe LIme Is come Lo Ieed LIe eynde, overcusLs In mIsL und jesL LIe
vIew oI LIe uppoInLed IImIL."
"¡ubIes, IunLusIes!"
"GeL uIong, one cunnoL pIeuse you, even uguInsL my psycIoIogy you ure IursI - uIbeIL you
yourseII on your MounL ZIon uL Iome cuIIed psycIoIogy u nIce, neuLruI mIddIe poInL und
psycIoIogIsLs LIe mosL LruLI-IovIng peopIe. ¡ IubIe noL u wIIL wIen ¡ speuk oI LIe gIven LIme und
LIe uppoInLed end; ¡ speuk enLIreIy Lo LIe poInL. WIeresoever LIe Ioure-gIusse Is seL up und LIme
IIxed, unLIInkubIe yeL meusured LIme und u IIxed end, LIere we ure In LIe IIeId, LIere we ure In
cIover. TIme we seII - IeL us suy XX¡V yeurs - cun we see Lo LIe end oI LIuL? ¡s IL u good soIId
umounL? TIerewILI u mun cun IIve uL ruck und munger IIke u Iord und usLonIsI LIe worId us u
greuL nIgromuncer wILI mucI dIveI's work; LIe Ienger IL goes on, LIe more IorgeL uII puruIysIs und
In IIgIIy IIIumInuLed sLuLe rIse ouL oI IImseIIe, yeL never Lrunscend buL remuIn LIe sume, LIougI
ruIsed Lo IIs proper sLuLure by LIe IuII-boLLIe oI cIumpugne. ¡n drunken bIIss Ie suvours uII LIe
rupLure oI un uImosL unbeurubIe druugIL, LIII Ie muy wILI more or Iess oI rIgIL be convInced LIuL
u IIke InIusIon Ius noL been In u LIousund yeurs und In cerLuIn ubundoned momenLs muy sImpIy
IoId IImseII u god. How wIII sucI un one come Lo LIInk ubouL LIe poInL oI LIme wIen IL Is
become LIme Lo gIve Ieed Lo LIe end! OnIy, LIe end Is ours, uL LIe end Ie Is ours, LIuL Ius Lo be
ugreed on, und noL mereIy sIIenLIy, Iow sIIenL so ever IL be eIse, buL Irom mun Lo mun und
expressIy."
¡: "So you wouId seII me LIme?"
He: "TIme? SImpIe LIme? No, my deur Iere, LIuL Is noL devyII's wure. ¡or LIuL we sIouId noL
eurn LIe rewurd, numeIy LIuL LIe end beIongs Lo us. WIuL munner oI LIme, LIuL Is LIe IeurL oI LIe
muLLer! GreuL LIme, mud LIme, quILe bedIveIIed LIme, In wIIcI LIe Iun wuxes IusL und IurIous,
wILI Ieuven-IIgI IeupIng und sprIngIng - und uguIn, oI course, u bIL mIserubIe, very mIserubIe
Indeed, ¡ noL onIy udmIL LIuL, ¡ even empIusIze IL, wILI prIde, Ior IL Is sILLIng und IIL, sucI Is
urLIsL-wuy und urLIsL-nuLure. TIuL, us Is weII knowen, Is gIven uL uII LImes Lo excess on boLI sIdes
und Is In quILe normuI wuy u bIL excessIve. AIwuy LIe penduIum swIngs very wIde Lo und Iro
beLween IIgI spIrILs und meIuncIoIIu, LIuL Is usuuI, Is so Lo speuk sLIII uccordIng Lo moderuLe
bourgeoIs Nuer-remberg wuy, In compurIson wILI LIuL wIIcI we purvey. ¡or we purvey LIe
uLLermosL In LIIs dIrecLIon; we purvey LowerIng IIIgILs und IIIumInuLIons, experIences oI
upIIILIngs und unIeLLerIngs, oI Ireedom, cerLuInLy, IucIIILy, IeeIIng oI power und LrIumpI, LIuL our
mun does noL LrusL IIs wILs - counLIng In besIdes LIe coIossuI udmIruLIon Ior LIe mude LIIng,
wIIcI couId soon brIng IIm Lo renounce every ouLsIde, IoreIgn udmIruLIon - LIe LIrIIIs oI seII-
veneruLIon, yes, oI exquIsILe Iorror oI IImseII, In wIIcI Ie uppeurs Lo IImseII IIke un InspIred
mouLIpIece, us u godIIke monsLer. And correspondIngIy deep, IonourubIy deep, doLI Ie sInk In
beLween-LIme, noL onIy InLo voId und desoIuLIon und unIruILIuI meIuncIoIy buL uIso InLo puIns
und sIcknesse - IumIIIur IncIdenLuIIy, wIIcI Iud uIwuy been LIere, wIIcI beIong Lo IIs cIurucLer,
yeL wIIcI ure onIy mosL IonorubIy enIunced by LIe IIIumInuLIon und LIe weII-knowen 'suck oI
Ieyre.' TIose ure puIns wIIcI u mun gIudIy puys, wILI pIeusure und prIde, Ior wIuL Ie Ius so
mucI enjoyed, puIns wIIcI Ie knows Irom LIe IuIry-LuIe, LIe puIns wIIcI LIe IILLIe seu-muId, us
Irom sIurp knIves, Iud In Ier beuuLIIuI Iumun Iegs sIe goL IerseII InsLeud oI Ier LuII. You know
Andersen's ¡ILLIe Seu-muId? SIe wouId be u sweeLIeurL Ior you! JusL suy LIe word und ¡ wIII
brIng Ier Lo your coucI."
¡: "¡I you couId jusL keep quIeL, pruLIng juckunupes LIuL you ure!"
He: "How now! Need you uIwuys muke u rude unswer? AIwuys you expecL me Lo be sLIII. BuL
sIIence Is noL my moLLo, ¡ do noL beIong Lo LIe ScIweIgesLIII IumIIy. And MoLIer EIse, unyIow,
Ius pruLLIed In uII proper dIscreLIon no end Lo you ubouL Ier odd occusIonuI guesLs. NeILIer um ¡
come IILIer Ior LIe suke oI sIIence Lo u pugun IoreIgn Iund; buL ruLIer Ior express conIIrmuLIon
beLween us Lwo und u IIrm conLrucL upon puymenL uguInsL compIeLIon. ¡ LeII you, we Iuve been
sIIenL more LIun Iour yeurs - und now everyLIIng Is LukIng LIe IInesL, mosL exquIsILe, mosL
promIsIng course, und LIe beII Is now IuII cusL. SIuII ¡ LeII you Iow IL sLunds und wIuL Is uIooL?"
¡: "¡L weII uppeureLI ¡ musL IIsLen."
He: "WouIdsL IIke Lo besIdes, und urL weII conLenL LIuL LIou cunsL Ieur. ¡ Lrow IorsooLI you ure
on edge Lo Ieur und wouId grumbIe und growI un ¡ kepL IL buck, und LIuL oI rIgIL Loo. ¡L Is sucI u
snug, IumIIIur worId wIereIn we ure LogeLIer, LIou und ¡ - we ure rIgIL uL Iome LIereIn, pure
KuIsersuscIern, good oId Germun uIr, Irom unno MD or LIereubouLs, sIorLIy beIore Dr. MurLInus
cume, wIo sLood on sucI sLouL und sLurdy IooLIng wILI me und LIrew LIe roII, no, ¡ meun LIe Ink-
poL uL me, Iong beIore LIe LIIrLy yeurs' IroIIc. BeLIInk LIee wIuL IIveIy movemenL oI LIe peopIe
wus wILI you In Germuny's mIdsL, on LIe RIIne und uII over, Iow IuII oI ugILuLIon und unresL,
unxIeLy, presenLImenLs; wIuL press oI pIIgrIms Lo LIe Sucred BIood uL NIkIusIuusen In LIe
TuuberLIuI, wIuL cIIIdren's crusudes, bIeedIng oI LIe HosL, IumIne, PeusunLs' ¡eugue, wur, LIe
pesL uL CoIogne, meLeors, comeLs, und greuL omens, nuns wILI LIe sLIgmuLu, mIrucuIous crosses
on men's gurmenLs, und LIuL umuzIng sLundurd oI LIe muIden's sIIIL wILI LIe Cross, wIereunder
Lo murcI uguInsL LIe Turk! Good LIme, dIveIIIsIIy Germun LIme! Don'L you IeeI uII wurm und snug
uL LIe memory? TIere LIe rIgIL pIuneLs come LogeLIer In LIe sIgn oI LIe ScorpIon, us MusLer
DIIrer Ius erudILeIy druwn In LIe medIcuI broudsIeeL, LIere cume LIe Lender IILLIe ones, LIe
swurms oI unImuLed corkscrews, LIe IovIng guesLs Irom LIe WesL ¡ndIes InLo LIe Germun Iunds,
LIe IIugeIIunLs - uI, now you IIsLen! As LIougI ¡ spuke oI LIe murcIIng guIId oI penILenLs, LIe
¡IugeIIunLs, wIo IIuIIed Ior LIeIr own und uII oLIer sIns. BuL ¡ meun LIose IIugeIIuLes, LIe InvIsIbIe
LIny ones, LIe kInd LIuL Iuve scourges, IIke our puIe Venus, LIe spIrocIusLu puIIIdu, LIuL Is LIe
Lrue sorL. BuL LI'urL rIgIL, IL sounds so comIorLIngIy IIke LIe depLIs oI MIddIe Ages und LIe
jlcçellum hcreticorum jcscincriorum. Yeu, verIIy, us IuscInurII LIey muy weII sIew LIemseIves,
our devoLees, In LIe beLLer cuses, us In yours. TIey ure moreover quILe cIvIIIzed und domesLIcuLed
Iong sInce, und In oId counLrIes wIere LIey Iuve been so muny Iundred yeurs uL Iome, LIey do
noL pIuy sucI merry prunks und course preposLerous jokes us ersLwIIIe, wILI runnIng sore und
pIugue und worm-euLen nose. BupLIsL SpengIer LIe puInLer does noL Iook us LIougI Ie, IIs body
wrupped up In IuIr, wouId Iuve Lo sIuke LIe wurnIng ruLLIe wILIersoever Ie wenL."
¡: "¡s Ie IIke LIuL - SpengIer?"
He: "WIy noL? ¡ suppose you LIInk you ure LIe onIy one In IIke cuse? ¡ know LIou IuddesL
LIIne IIeIer quILe by LIyseII und urL vexed uL uny compurIson. My deur IeIIow, u mun uIwuys Ius u
greuL muny compunIons. SpengIer, oI course, Is un EsmeruIdus. ¡L Is noL wILIouL reuson LIuL Ie
bIInks, so sIy und sIumeIusL, und noL Ior noLIIng does ¡nez Rodde cuII IIm u sneuk. So IL Is: ¡eo
ZInk, LIe Icunus jiccrius, Ius uIwuys IereLoIore escuped; buL IL goL LIe cIeun, cIever SpengIer
eurIy on. YeL be cuIm, wILIIoId your jeuIousy. ¡L Is u bunuI, LedIous cuse, producLIve oI noLIIng uL
uII. He Is no pyLIon, In wIom we brIng sensuLIonuI deeds Lo puss. A IILLIe brIgILer, more gIven Lo
LIe InLeIIecLuuI Ie muy be become sInce LIe recepLIon und wouId perudvenLure IIsL noL so mucI
on reudIng LIe GoncourL journuIs or Abbe GuIIunI II Ie Iud noL LIe reIuLIon wILI LIe IIgIer
worId, nor Iud LIe prIvy memorundum. PsycIoIogy, my deur IrIend. DIseuse, Indeed ¡ meun
repuIsIve, IndIvIduuI, prIvuLe dIseuse, mukes u cerLuIn crILIcuI conLrusL Lo LIe worId, Lo IIIe's
meun, puLs u mun In u mood rebeIIIous und IronIc uguInsL LIe bourgeoIs order, mukes ILs mun
Luke reIuge wILI LIe Iree spIrIL, wILI books, In cogILuLIon. BuL more IL Is noL wILI SpengIer. TIe
spuce LIuL Is sLIII uIIoLLed IIm Ior reudIng, quoLIng, drInkIng red wIne, und IdIIng ubouL, IL Isn'L
we wIo Iuve soId IL Lo IIm, IL Is unyLIIng ruLIer LIun genIuIIzed LIme. A mun oI LIe worId, jusL
sInged by our IIume, weury, mIIdIy InLeresLIng, no more. He roLs uwuy, IIver, kIdneys, sLomucI,
IeurL, boweIs; some duy IIs voIce wIII be u crouk, or Ie wIII be deuI, uILer u Iew yeurs Ie wIII
IngIorIousIy sIuIIIe oII LIIs coyIe, wILI u cynIcuI quIp on IIs IIps - wIuL LIen? ¡L IorceLI buL IILLIe,
LIere wus never uny IIIumInuLIon, enIuncIng or enLIusIusm, Ior IL wus noL oI LIe bruIn, noL
cerebruI, you undersLund - our IILLIe ones In LIuL cuse mude no Iorce oI LIe upper und nobIe, IL
Iud obvIousIy no IuscInuLIon Ior LIem, IL dId noL come Lo u meLusLusIs InLo LIe meLupIysIcuI,
meLuvenereuI, meLu-InIecLIvus... "
¡ (wILI venom): "How Iong musL ¡ needs sIL und Ireeze und IIsLen Lo your InLoIerubIe
gIbberIsI?"
He: "GIbberIsI? Huve Lo IIsLen? TIuL's u Iunny cIord Lo sLrIke. ¡n mIne opInIon you¯ IIsLen
very uLLenLIveIy und ure buL ImpuLIenL Lo know more, yeu und uII. You Iuve jusL usked eugerIy
uILer your IrIend SpengIer In MunIcI, und II ¡ Iud noL cuL you oII, you wouId uvIdIy Iuve usked
me uII LIIs wIoIe LIme ubouL IeII's IIery pIL. Don'L, ¡ beg oI you, preLend you're puL on. ¡ uIso Iuve
my seII-respecL, und know LIuL ¡ um no unbIdden guesL. To be sIorL, LIe meLu-spIrocIueLose,
LIuL Is LIe menIngeuI process, und ¡ ussure you, IL Is jusL us LIougI cerLuIn oI LIe IILLIe ones Iud u
pussIon Ior LIe upper sLorey, u specIuI preIerence Ior LIe Ieud regIon, LIe menInges, LIe duru
muLer, LIe LenLorIum, und LIe pIu, wIIcI proLecL LIe Lender purencIymu InsIde und Irom LIe
momenL oI LIe IIrsL generuI conLugIon swurmed pussIonuLeIy IILIer."
¡: "¡L Is wILI you us you suy. TIe rumpuIIIon seems Lo Iuve sLudIed medicincm?
He: "No more LIun you LIeoIogy, LIuL Is In bILs und us u specIuIIsL. WIII you guInsuy LIuL you
sLudIed LIe besL oI LIe urLs und scIences uIso onIy us specIuIIsL und umuLeur? Your InLeresL Iud to
do wILI - me. ¡ um obIIged Lo you. BuL wIereIore sIouId ¡, EsmeruIdu's IrIend und coIubILunL, In
wIIcI quuIILy you beIoId me beIore you, noL Iuve u specIuI InLeresL In LIe medIcuI IIeId con-
cerned, wIIcI borders on IL, und be uL Iome In IL us u specIuIIsL? ¡ndeed, ¡ consLunLIy und wILI
LIe greuLesL uLLenLIon IoIIow LIe IuLesL resuILs oI reseurcI In LIIs IIeId. ¡Lem, some docLores usserL
und sweur by PeLer und PuuI LIere musL be bruIn specIuIIsLs umong LIe IILLIe ones, umuLeurs In
LIe cerebruI spIere, In sIorL u tirus nerteux. BuL LIese experLs ure In LIe uIoremenLIoned box. ¡L
Is ursIe-versIe In LIe muLLer, Ior 'LIs LIe bruIn wIIcI gupes uL LIeIr vIsILuLIon und Iooks Iorwurd
expecLunLIy, us you Lo mIne, LIuL IL InvILes LIem Lo ILseII, druws LIem unLo IL, us LIougI IL couId
noL beur uL uII Lo wuIL Ior LIem. Do you sLIII remember? TIe pIIIosopIer, De cnimc: 'LIe ucLs oI
LIe person ucLIng ure perIormed on IIm LIe prevIousIy dIsposed Lo suIIer IL.' TIere you Iuve IL:
on LIe dIsposILIon, LIe reudIness, LIe InvILuLIon, uII depends. TIuL some men be more quuIIIIed Lo
LIe prucLIsIng oI wILcI-cruIL, LIen oLIer, und we know weII Iow Lo dIscern LIem, oI LIuL uIreudy
ure uwure LIe worLIy uuLIors oI LIe Mclleus."
¡: "SIunderer, ¡ Iuve no connecLIon wILI you. ¡ dId noL InvILe you."
He: "¡u, Iu, sweeL Innocence! TIe Iur-LruveIIed cIIenL oI my IILLIe ones wus ¡ suppose noL
Iorewurned? And your docLors Loo you cIose wILI sure InsLIncL."
¡: "¡ Iooked LIem ouL In LIe dIrecLory. WIom sIouId ¡ Iuve usked? And wIo couId Iuve LoId
me LIuL LIey wouId Ieuve me In LIe IusI? WIuL dId you do wILI my Lwo pIysIcIuns?"
He: "PuL LIem uwuy, puL LIem uwuy. OI, oI course we puL LIe bIunderers uwuy In your
InLeresL. And uL LIe rIgIL momenL IwIs, noL Loo soon und noL Loo IuLe, wIen LIey Iud goL LIe
LIIng In LruIn wILI LIeIr quuckery und quIcksIIvery, und II we Iud IeIL LIem LIey mIgIL Iuve
boLcIed LIe beuuLIIuI cuse. We uIIowed LIem LIe provocuLIon, LIen bcstc und uwuy wILI LIem!
So soon us LIey wILI LIeIr specIIIc LreuLmenL Iud properIy IImILed LIe IIrsL, cuLuneousIy
empIusIzed generuI InIIILruLIon, und LIus gIven u powerIuI ImpeLus Lo LIe meLusLusIs upwurds,
LIeIr busIness wus uccompIIsIed, LIey Iud Lo be removed. TIe IooIs, Lo wIL, do noL know, und II
LIey know LIey cunnoL cIunge IL, LIuL by LIe generuI LreuLmenL LIe upper, LIe meLu-venereuI
processes ure powerIuIIy ucceIeruLed. ¡ndeed, by noL LreuLIng LIe IresI sLuges IL Is oILen enougI
Iorwurded; In sIorL, LIe wuy LIey do IL Is wrong. ¡n no cuse couId we IeL LIe provocuLIon by
quuckery und quIckery go on. TIe regressIon oI LIe generuI peneLruLIon wus Lo be IeIL Lo ILseII,
LIuL LIe progressIon up LIere sIouId go on preLLy sIowIy, In order LIuL yeurs, decudes, oI
nIgromunLIc LIme sIouId be suved Ior you, u wIoIe Ioure-gIusseIuI oI dIveI-LIme, genIus-LIme.
Nurrow und smuII und IIneIy cIrcumscrIbed IL Is Loduy, Iour yeurs uILer you goL IL, LIe pIuce up
LIere In you; buL IL Is LIere, LIe IeurLI, LIe workroom oI LIe IILLIe ones, wIo on LIe IIquor wuy,
LIe wuLer wuy us IL were, goL LIere, LIe pIuce oI IncIpIenL IIIumInuLIon."
¡: "Do ¡ Lrup you, bIockIeud? Do you beLruy yourseII und nume Lo me yourseII LIe pIuce In my
bruIn, LIe Iever IeurLI, LIuL mukes me ImugIne you, und wILIouL wIIcI you were noL? Be-LruyesL
Lo me LIuL In excILed sLuLe ¡ see und Ieur you, yeL you ure buL u buuIIng beIore my eyes!"
He: "TIe GreuL God ¡ogIck! ¡ILLIe IooI, IL Is LopsIde LIe oLIer wuIe: ¡ um noL LIe producL oI
your pIu IeurLI up LIere, ruLIer LIe IeurLI enubIes you Lo perceIve me, undersLund, und wILIouL
IL, Indeed, you wouId noL see me. ¡s LIereIore my exIsLence dependenL on your IncIpIenL
drunkenness? Do ¡ beIong In your subjecLIve? ¡ usk you! OnIy puLIence, wIuL goes on und
progresses LIere wIII gIve you LIe cupucILy Ior u greuL deuI more, wIII conquer quILe oLIer
ImpedImenLs und muke you Lo sour over Iumeness und IuILIng. WuIL LIII Good ¡rIduy, und 'LwIII
soon be EusLer! WuIL one, Len, LweIve yeurs, unLII LIe IIIumInuLIon, LIe duzzIIng rudIunce us uII
Iume scrupIes und doubLs IuII uwuy und you wIII know Ior wIuL you puy, wIy you muke over body
und souI Lo us. TIen sIuII osmoLIc growLIs sine pudore sprouL ouL oI LIe upoLIecury's sowIng... "
¡ (sLurL up): "HoId LIy IouI mouLI! ¡ IorbId LIee Lo speuk oI my IuLIer!"
He: "OI, LIy IuLIer Is noL so III pIuced In my mouLI. He wus u sIrewd one, uIwuys wunLIng Lo
specuIuLe LIe eIemenLs. TIe mygrIm, LIe poInL oI uLLuck Ior LIe knIIe-puIns oI LIe IILLIe seumuId
- uILer uII, you Iuve LIem Irom IIm... Moreover, ¡ Iuve spoken quILe correcLIy: osmosIs, IIuId
dIIIusIon, LIe proIIIeruLIon process - LIe wIoIe mugIc InLreuLs oI LIese. You Iuve LIere LIe spInuI
suc wILI LIe puIsuLIng coIumn oI IIuId LIereIn, reucIIng Lo LIe cerebrum, Lo LIe menInges, In
wIose LIssues LIe IurLIve venereuI menIngILIs Is uL ILs soundIess sLeuILIy work. BuL our IILLIe ones
couId noL reucI InLo LIe InsIde, InLo LIe purencIymu, Iowever mucI LIey ure druwn, Iowever
mucI LIey IongIngIy druw LIILIer - wILIouL IIuId dIIIusIon, osmosIs, wILI LIe ceII-IIuId oI LIe pIu
wuLerIng IL, dIssoIvIng LIe LIssue, und puvIng u wuy InsIde Ior LIe scourges. EveryLIIng comes
Irom osmosIs, my IrIend, In wIose LeusIng munIIesLuLIons you so eurIy dIverLed yourseII."
¡: "Your buseness mukes me Lo IuugI. ¡ wIsI ScIIIdknupp wouId come buck LIuL ¡ mIgIL IuugI
wILI IIm. ¡ wouId LeII IIm IuLIer-sLorIes, ¡ Loo. OI LIe Leurs In my IuLIer's eyes, wIen Ie suId:
'And yeL LIey ure deud!' "
He: "Cock's body! You were rIgIL Lo IuugI uL IIs ruLIIuI Leurs - usIde Irom LIe IucL LIuL
wIoever Ius, by nuLure, deuIIngs wILI LIe LempLer Is uIwuys uL vurIunce wILI LIe IeeIIngs oI
peopIe, uI wuys LempLed Lo IuugI wIen LIey weep, und weep wIen LIey IuugI. WIuL LIen does
'deud' meun, wIen LIe IIoru grows so runkIy, In sucI dIverse coIours und sIupes? And wIen LIey
ure even IeIIo- LropIc? WIuL does 'deud' meun wIen LIe drop dIspIuys sucI u IeuILIy uppeLILe?
WIuL Is sIck, wIuL weII, my IrIend, ubouL LIuL we musL noL IeL LIe pIIIIsLIne Iuve LIe IusL word.
WIeLIer Ie does undersLund IIIe so weII remuIns u quesLIon. WIuL Ius come ubouL by LIe wuy oI
deuLI, oI sIckness, uL LIuL IIIe Ius muny u LIme cIuLcIed wILI joy und IeL ILseII be Ied by IL IIgIer
und IurLIer. Huve you IorgoLLen wIuL you Ieurned In LIe scIooIs, LIuL God cun brIng good ouL oI
evII und LIuL LIe occusIon Lo IL sIuII noL be murred? ¡Lem, u mun musL Iuve been uIwuys III und
mud In order LIuL oLIers no Ionger need be so. And wIere mud ness begIns Lo be muIudy, LIere Is
nobody knows uL uII. ¡I u mun Luken up In u rupLure wrILe In u murgenL noLe: Am bIIssIuI! Am
besIde myseII! TIuL ¡ cuII new und greuL! SeeLIIng bIIss oI In spIruLIon! My cIeeks gIow IIke
moILen Iron! ¡ um rugIng, you wIII uII be rugIng, wIen LIIs comes Lo you! TIen God succour your
poor seIy souIs!' ¡s LIuL sLIII mud IeuILIIness, normuI mudness, or Ius Ie goL IL In LIe meninçesl
TIe bourgeoIs Is LIe IusL Lo dIugnose; Ior Iong In uny cuse noLIIng IurLIer ubouL IL sLrIkes IIm us
sLrunge, becuuse IorsooLI urLIsLs ure queer bIrds unyIow. ¡I nexL duy on u rebound Ie cry: 'OI,
IIuL und sLuIe! OI, u dog's IIIe, wIen u mun cun do noLIIng! Were LIere buL u wur, so LIuL some-
wIuL wouId Iuppen! ¡I ¡ couId crouk In good sLyIe! Muy IeII pILy me, Ior ¡ um u son oI IeII!' Does
Ie reuIIy meun LIuL? ¡s IL LIe IILeruI LruLI LIuL Ie suys LIere oI IeII, or Is IL onIy meLupIor Ior u
IILLIe normuI Durer meIuncoIIu? ¡n summu, we sImpIy gIve you LIuL Ior wIIcI LIe cIussIc poeL, LIe
IoILy und sLuLeIy genIus, so beuuLIIuIIy LIunked IIs gods:
AII do LIe gods gIve, LIe ELernuI,
To LIeIr IuvourILes, wIoIIy:
AII LIe joys, LIe eLernuI,
AII LIe pungs, LIe eLernuI, WIoIIy."
¡: "Mocker und IIur! Si dicbolus non esset mendcx et homicidcl ¡I ¡ musL IIsLen, uL IeusL speuk
Lo me noL oI sune und sound greuLness und nuLIve goId! ¡ know LIuL goId mude wILI IIre InsLeud
oI by LIe sun Is noL genuIne."
He: "WIo suys so? Hus LIe sun beLLer IIre LIen LIe kILcIen? And sune und sound greuLness!
WIenever ¡ Ieur oI sucI, ¡ IuugI! Do you beIIeve In unyLIIng IIke un inçenium LIuL Ius noLIIng
Lo do wILI IeII? Non dcturl TIe urLIsL Is LIe broLIer oI LIe crImInuI und LIe mudmun. Do you
ween LIuL uny ImporLunL work wus ever wrougIL excepL ILs muker Ieurned Lo undersLund LIe wuy
oI LIe crImInuI und mudmun? MorbId und IeuILIy! WILIouL LIe morbId wouId IIIe uII ILs wIoIe
IIIe never Iuve survIved. GenuIne und IuIse! Are we Iund-IopIng knuves? Do we druw LIe good
LIIngs ouL oI LIe nose oI noLIIng? WIere noLIIng Is, LIere LIe DevII Loo Ius IosL IIs rIgIL und no
puIIId Venus produces unyLIIng worLI wIIIe! We muke nuugIL new - LIuL Is oLIer peopIe's
muLLer. We onIy reIeuse, onIy seL Iree. We IeL LIe Iumeness und seII-conscIousness, LIe cIusLe
scrupIes und doubLs go Lo LIe DevII. We pIysIc uwuy IuLIgue mereIy by u IILLIe cIurm-IypersemIu,
LIe greuL und LIe smuII, oI LIe person und oI LIe LIme. TIuL Is IL, you do noL LIInk oI LIe pussuge
oI LIme, you do noL LIInk IIsLorIcuIIy, wIen you compIuIn LIuL sucI und sucI u one couId Iuve IL
'wIoIIy,' joys und puIns endIessIy, wILIouL LIe Iour-gIuss beIng seL Ior IIm, LIe reckonIng IInuIIy
mude. WIuL Ie In IIs cIussIcuI decudes couId Iuve wILIouL us, cerLuInIy, LIuL, nowuduIes, we
uIone Iuve Lo oIIer. And we oIIer beLLer, we oIIer onIy LIe rIgIL und Lrue - LIuL Is no Ienger LIe
cIussIcuI, my IrIend, wIuL we gIve Lo experIence, IL Is LIe urcIuIc, LIe prImevuI, LIuL wIIcI Iong
sInce Ius noL been LrIed. WIo knows Loduy, wIo even knew In cIussIcuI LImes, wIuL InspIruLIon
Is, wIuL genuIne, oId, prImevuI enLIusIusm, InsIckIIed crILIque, unpuruIysed by LIougIL or by LIe
morLuI domInuLIon oI reuson - wIo knows LIe dIvIne rupLus? ¡ beIIeve, Indeed, LIe devII pusses
Ior u mun oI desLrucLIve crILIcIsm? SIunder und uguIn sIunder, my IrIend! Gog's sucrumenL! ¡I
LIere Is unyLIIng Ie cunnoL ubIde, II LIere's one LIIng In LIe wIoIe worId Ie cunnoL sLomucI, IL Is
desLrucLIve crILIcIsm. WIuL Ie wunLs und gIves Is LrIumpI over IL, Is sIInIng, spurkIIng, vuIngIorI-
ous unreIIecLIveness!"
¡: "CIurIuLun!"
He: "Yeu, oI u LruLI. WIen you seL rIgIL LIe grossesL IuIse undersLundIngs ubouL yourseII, more
ouL oI Iove oI LruLI LIun oI seII, LIen you ure u cIeup juck. ¡ wIII noL IeL my mouLI be sLopped by
your sIumeIusL ungrucIousness; ¡ know LIuL you ure buL suppressIng your emoLIons, you ure
IIsLenIng Lo me wILI us mucI pIeusure us LIe muId Lo LIe wIIsperer In cIurcI... ¡eL us jusL Ior un
InsLunce Luke LIe 'Ideu' - wIuL you cuII LIuL, wIuL Ior u Iundred yeurs or so you Iuve been cuIIIng
IL, sILIence eurIIer LIere wus no sucI cuLegory, us IILLIe us musIcuI copyrIgIL und uII LIuL. TIe
Ideu, LIen, u muLLer oI LIree, Iour burs, no more, Isn'L IL? AII LIe resIdue Is eIuboruLIon, sLIckIng uL
IL. Or Isn'L IL? Good. BuL now we ure uII experLs, uII crILIcs: we noLe LIuL LIe Ideu Is noLIIng new,
LIuL IL uII Loo mucI remInds us oI someLIIng In RImsky-Korsukov or BruIms. WIuL Is Lo be
done? You jusL cIunge IL. BuL u cIunged Ideu, Is LIuL sLIII un Ideu? Tuke BeeLIoven's noLebooks.
TIere Is no LIemuLIc concepLIon LIere us God guve IL. He remouIds IL und udds 'MeIIIeur.' ScunL
conIIdence In God's prompLIng, scunL respecL Ior IL Is expressed In LIuL 'MeIIIeur' - ILseII noL so
very enLIusIusLIc eILIer. A genuIne InspIruLIon, ImmedIuLe, ubsoIuLe, unquesLIoned, ruvIsIIng,
wIere LIere Is no cIoIce, no LInkerIng, no possIbIe ImprovemenL; wIere uII Is us u sucred
munduLe, u vIsILuLIon receIved by LIe possessed one wILI IuILerIng und sLumbIIng sLep, wILI
sIudders oI uwe Irom Ieud Lo IooL, wILI Leurs oI joy bIIndIng IIs eyes: no, LIuL Is noL possIbIe
wILI God, wIo Ieuves LIe undersLundIng Loo mucI Lo do. ¡L comes buL Irom LIe dIveI, LIe Lrue
musLer und gIver oI sucI rupLure."
Even us Ie spuke, und eusIIy, u cIunge cume over LIe IeIIow: us ¡ Iooked sLruIgIL uL IIm
meseemed Ie wus dIIIerenL, suL LIere no Ionger u rowdy IoseI, buL cIunged Ior LIe beLLer, ¡ gIve
my word. He now Iud on u wIILe coIIur und u bow LIe, Iorn-rImmed specLucIes on IIs Iooked
nose. BeIInd LIem LIe durk, ruLIer reddened eyes gIeumed moIsLIy. A mIxLure oI sIurpness und
soILness wus on LIe vIsuge; nose sIurp, IIps sIurp, yeL soIL LIe cIIn wILI u dImpIe, u dImpIe In LIe
cIeek Loo - puIe und vuuILed LIe brow, ouL oI wIIcI LIe IuIr reLreuLs Lowurd LIe Lop, yeL Irom
LIere Lo LIe sIdes LIIck, sLundIng up bIuck und wooIIy: u member oI LIe InLeIIIgenLsIu, wrILer on
urL, on musIc Ior LIe ordInury press, u LIeoreLIcIun und crILIc, wIo IImseII composes, so Iur us
LIInkIng uIIows IIm. SoIL, LIIn Iunds us weII, wIIcI uccompuny IIs LuIk wILI gesLures oI reIIned
uwkwurdness, someLImes deIIcuLeIy sLrokIng IIs LIIck IuIr uL LempIes und buck. TIIs wus now LIe
pIcLure oI LIe vIsILor In LIe soIu-corner. TuIIer Ie Iud noL grown, und ubove uII LIe voIce, nusuI,
dIsLIncL, cuILIvuLed, pIeusIng, Iud remuIned LIe sume; IL kepL LIe IdenLILy In uII LIe IIuIdILy oI
uppeurunce. TIen ¡ Ieur IIm speuk und see IIs wIde IIps, pIncIed In uL LIe corners under LIe
budIy sIuved upper one, proLrude us Ie urLIcuIuLes.
"WIuL Is urL Loduy? A pIIgrImuge on peus. TIere's more Lo duncIng In LIese LImes LIen u puIr oI
red sIoon, und you ure noL LIe onIy one LIe devII depresses. ¡ook uL LIem, your coIIeugues - ¡
know, oI course, LIuL you do noL Iook uL LIem, you don'L Iook In LIeIr dIrecLIon, you cIerIsI LIe
IIIusIon LIuL you ure uIone und wunL everyLIIng Ior yourseII, uII LIe wIoIe curse oI LIe LIme. BuL
do Iook uL LIem Ior your consoIuLIon, your IeIIow-InuuguruLors oI LIe new musIc, ¡ meun LIe
IonesL, serIous ones, wIo see LIe consequences oI LIe sILuuLIon. ¡ speuk noL oI LIe IoIkIorIsLs und
neo-cIussIc usyIIsLs wIose modernness consIsLs In LIeIr IorbIddIng LIemseIves u musIcuI
ouLbreuk und In weurIng wILI more or Iess dIgnILy LIe sLyIe-gurmenL oI u pre-IndIvIduuIIsLIc
perIod. Persuude LIemseIves und oLIers LIuL LIe LedIous Ius become InLeresLIng, becuuse LIe
InLeresLIng Ius begun Lo grow LedIous."
¡ Iud Lo IuugI, Ior uILIougI LIe coId conLInued Lo pursue me, ¡ musL conIess LIuL sInce IIs
uILeruLIon ¡ IeIL more comIorLubIe In IIs presence. He smIIed us weII: LIuL Is, LIe corners oI IIs
mouLI Lensed u IILLIe und Ie sIIgILIy nurrowed IIs eyes.
"TIey ure powerIess Loo," Ie wenL on, "buL ¡ beIIeve we, LIou und ¡, Iever preIer LIe decenL
ImpoLence oI LIose wIo scorn Lo cIouk LIe generuI sIckness under coIour oI u dIgnIIIed
mummery. BuL LIe sIckness Is generuI, und LIe sLruIgILIorwurd ones sIew LIe sympLoms jusL us
weII us LIe producers oI buck-IormuLIons. Does noL producLIon LIreuLen Lo come Lo un end? And
wIuLever oI serIous sLuII geLs on Lo puper beLruys eIIorL und dIsLusLe. ExLruneous, socIuI grounds?
¡uck oI demund? And us In LIe pre-IIberuI perIod LIe possIbIIILy oI producLIon depends IurgeIy
on LIe cIunce oI u Muecenus? RIgIL, buL us expIunuLIon doesn'L go Iur enougI. ComposIng ILseII
Ius goL Loo Iurd, devIIIsIIy Iurd. WIere work does noL go uny Ionger wILI sIncerILy Iow Is one Lo
work? BuL so IL sLunds, my IrIend, LIe musLerpIece, LIe seII-suIIIcIenL Iorm, beIongs Lo LrudILIonuI
urL, emuncIpuLed urL rejecLs IL. TIe LIIng begIns wILI LIIs: LIuL LIe rIgIL oI commund over uII LIe
Lone-combInuLIons ever uppIIed by no meuns beIongs Lo you. ¡mpossIbIe LIe dImInIsIed sevenLI,
ImpossIbIe cerLuIn cIromuLIc pussIng noLes. Every composer oI LIe beLLer sorL currIes wILIIn
IImseII u cunon oI LIe IorbIdden, LIe seII-IorbIddIng, wIIcI by degrees IncIudes uII LIe
possIbIIILIes oI LonuIILy, In oLIer words uII LrudILIonuI musIc. WIuL Ius become IuIse, worn-ouL
cIIcIe, LIe cunon decIdes. TonuI sounds, cIords In u composILIon wILI LIe LecInIcuI IorIzon oI
Loduy, ouLbId every dIssonunce. As sucI LIey ure Lo be used, buL cuuLIousIy und onIy in extremis,
Ior LIe sIock Is worse LIun LIe IursIesL dIscord oI oId. EveryLIIng depends on LIe LecInIcuI
IorIzon. TIe dImInIsIed sevenLI Is rIgIL und IuII oI expressIon uL LIe begInnIng oI Op. 111. ¡L
corresponds Lo BeeLIoven's wIoIe LecInIcuI nIveuu, doesn'L IL? - LIe LensIon beLween
consonunce und LIe IursIesL dIssonunce known Lo IIm. TIe prIncIpIe oI LonuIILy und ILs
dynumIcs Iend Lo LIe cIord ILs specIIIc weIgIL. ¡L Ius IosL IL - by u IIsLorIcuI process wIIcI no-
body reverses. ¡IsLen Lo LIe obsoIeLe cIord; even by ILseII uIone IL sLunds Ior u LecInIcuI generuI
posILIon wIIcI conLrudIcLs LIe ucLuuI. Every sound currIes LIe wIoIe, currIes LIe wIoIe sLory In
ILseII. BuL LIereIore LIe judgmenL oI LIe eur, wIuL Is rIgIL und wIuL wrong, Is IndIspuLubIy und
dIrecLIy reIuLed Lo IL, Lo LIIs one cIord, In ILseII noL IuIse, enLIreIy wILIouL ubsLrucL reIerence Lo
LIe generuI LecInIcuI nIveuu: we Iuve LIere u cIuIm on TIgILness wIIcI LIe sound Imuge mukes
upon LIe urLIsL - u IILLIe severe, don'L you LIInk? TIen does noL IIs ucLIvILy exIuusL ILseII In LIe
execuLIon oI LIe LIIng conLuIned wILIIn LIe objecLIve condILIons oI producLIon? ¡n every bur LIuL
one dures Lo LIInk, LIe sILuuLIon us regurds LecInIque presenLs ILseII Lo IIm us u probIem.
TecInIque In uII ILs uspecLs demunds oI IIm every momenL LIuL Ie do jusLIce Lo IL, und gIve LIe
onIy rIgIL unswer wIIcI IL uL uny momenL permILs. ¡L comes down Lo LIIs, LIuL IIs composILIons
ure noLIIng more LIun soIuLIons oI LIuL kInd; noLIIng buL LIe soIvIng oI LecInIcuI puzzIes. ArL
becomes crILIque. TIuL Is someLIIng quILe IonourubIe, wIo denIes IL? MucI rebeIIIon In sLrIcL
obedIence Is needed, mucI Independence, mucI couruge. BuL LIe dunger oI beIng uncreuLIve -
wIuL do you LIInk? ¡s IL perIups sLIII onIy u dunger, or Is IL uIreudy u IIxed und seLLIed IucL?"
He puused. He Iooked uL me LIrougI IIs gIusses wILI IIs IumId reddened eyes, ruIsed IIs Iund
In u IusLIdIous gesLure, und sLroked IIs IuIr wILI IIs Lwo mIddIe IIngers. ¡ suId:
"WIuL ure you wuILIng Ior? SIouId ¡ udmIre your mockery? ¡ Iuve never doubLed ye wouId
know Iow Lo suy Lo me wIuL ¡ know. Your wuy oI producIng IL Is very purposeIuI. WIuL you meun
by IL uII Is Lo sIew me LIuL ¡ couId uvuII myseII oI, nor Iuve, no one oLIerwIse LIen LIe dIveI Lo
kIndIe me Lo my work. And ye couId uL LIe sume LIme noL excIude LIe LIeoreLIc possIbIIILy oI
sponLuneous Iurmony beLween u mun's own needs und LIe momenL, LIe possIbIIILy oI 'rIgILness,'
oI u nuLuruI Iurmony, ' ouL oI wIIcI one mIgIL creuLe wILIouL u LIougIL or uny compuIsIon."
He (IuugIIng): "A very LIeoreLIc possIbIIILy, In IucL. My deur IeIIow, LIe sILuuLIon Is Loo crILIcuI
Lo be deuIL wILI wILIouL crILIque. Moreover ¡ rejecL LIe reproucI oI u LendenLIous IIIumInuLIon oI
LIIngs. We do noL need Lo InvoIve ourseIves IurLIer In dIuIecLIc exLruvugunces on your uccounL.
WIuL ¡ do noL deny Is u cerLuIn generuI suLIsIucLIon wIIcI LIe sLuLe oI LIe 'work' generuIIy
voucIsuIes me. ¡ um uguInsL 'works,' by und Iurge. WIy sIouId ¡ noL IInd some pIeusure In LIe
sIckness wIIcI Ius uLLucked LIe Ideu oI LIe musIcuI work? Don'L bIume IL on socIuI condILIons. ¡
um uwure you Lend Lo do so, und ure In LIe IubIL oI suyIng LIuL LIese condILIons produce noLIIng
IIxed und sLubIe enougI Lo guurunLee LIe Iurmony oI LIe seII-suIIIcIenL work. True, buL
unImporLunL. TIe proIIbILIve dIIIIcuILIes oI LIe work IIe deep In LIe work ILseII. TIe IIsLorIcuI
movemenL oI LIe musIcuI muLerIuI Ius Lurned uguInsL LIe seII-conLuIned work. ¡L sIrInks In LIme,
IL scorns exLensIon In LIme, wIIcI Is LIe dImensIons oI u musIcuI work, und IeLs IL sLund empLy.
NoL ouL oI ImpoLence, noL ouL oI IncupucILy Lo gIve Iorm. RuLIer Irom u ruLIIess demund Ior
compressIon, wIIcI Luboos LIe superIIuous, neguLes LIe pIruse, sIuLLers LIe ornumenL, sLunds
opposed Lo uny exLensIon oI LIme, wIIcI Is LIe IIIe-Iorm oI LIe work. Work, LIme, und preLence,
LIey ure one, und LogeLIer LIey IuII vIcLIm Lo crILIque. ¡L no Ionger LoIeruLes preLence und pIuy,
LIe IIcLIon, LIe seII-gIorIIIcuLIon oI Iorm, wIIcI censors LIe pussIons und Iumun suIIerIng,
dIvIdes ouL LIe purLs, LrunsIuLes InLo pIcLures. OnIy LIe non-IIcLIonuI Is sLIII permIssIbIe, LIe
unpIuyed, LIe undIsguIsed und unLrunsIIgured expressIon oI suIIerIng In ILs ucLuuI momenL. ¡Ls
ImpoLence und exLremILy ure so IngruIned LIuL no seemIng pIuy wILI LIem Is uny Ienger uIIowed."
¡ (very IronIcuIIy): "ToucIIng, LoucIIng! TIe devII wuxes puLIeLIc. TIe poor devII moruIIzes.
Humun suIIerIng goes Lo IIs IeurL. How IIgI-mIndedIy Ie sIILs on urL! You wouId Iuve done
beLLer noL Lo menLIon your unLIpuLIy Lo LIe work II you dId noL wunL me Lo reuIIze LIuL your
unImudversIons ure nuugIL buL dIveI-IurLIng."
He (unperLurbed): "So Iur, so good. BuL uL boLLom you do ugree LIuL Lo Iuce LIe IucLs oI LIe
LIme Is neILIer senLImenLuI nor muIIcIous. CerLuIn LIIngs ure no Ionger possIbIe. TIe preLence oI
IeeIIng us u composILIonuI work oI urL, LIe seII-suLIsIIed preLence oI musIc ILseII, Ius become
ImpossIbIe und no Ionger Lo be preserved - ¡ meun LIe perennIuI noLIon LIuL prescrIbed und
IormuIIzed eIemenLs sIuII be InLroduced us LIougI LIey were LIe InvIoIubIe necessILy oI LIe
sIngIe cuse. Or puL IL LIe oLIer wuy round: LIe specIuI cuse beIuvIng us LIougI IL were IdenLIcuI
wILI LIe prescrIbed und IumIIIur IormuIu. ¡or Iour Iundred yeurs uII greuL musIc Ius Iound ILs
suLIsIucLIon In preLendIng LIuL LIIs unILy Ius been uccompIIsIed wILIouL u breuk - IL Ius pIeused
ILseII wILI conIusIng LIe convenLIonuI unIversuI Iuw Lo wIIcI IL Is subjecL wILI ILs own pecuIIur
concern. My IrIend, IL cunnoL go on. TIe crILIcIsm oI ornumenL, convenLIon, und LIe ubsLrucL
generuIILy ure uII LIe sume one. WIuL IL demoIIsIes Is LIe preLence In LIe bourgeoIs work oI urL;
musIc, uILIougI sIe mukes no pIcLure, Is uIso subjecL Lo IL. CerLuInIy, LIIs 'noL mukIng u pIcLure'
gIves Ier un udvunLuge over LIe oLIer urLs. BuL musIc Loo by unLIrIngIy conIormIng Ier specIIIc
concerns Lo LIe ruIIng convenLIons Ius us Iur us sIe couId pIuyed u roIe In LIe IIgIbrow swIndIe.
TIe IncIusIon oI expressIon In LIe generuI uppeusemenL Is LIe InnermosL prIncIpIe oI musIcuI
preLence. ¡L Is uII up wILI IL. TIe cIuIm Lo consIder LIe generuI IurmonIcuIIy conLuIned In LIe
purLIcuIur conLrudIcLs ILseII. ¡L Is uII up wILI LIe once bIndIngIy vuIId convenLIons, wIIcI
guurunLeed LIe Ireedom oI pIuy."
¡:."A mun couId know LIuL und recognIze Ireedom ubove und beyond uII crILIque. He couId
IeIgILen LIe pIuy, by pIuyIng wILI Iorms ouL oI wIIcI, us Ie weII knew, IIIe Ius dIsuppeured."
He: "¡ know, ¡ know. Purody. ¡L mIgIL be Iun, II IL were noL so meIuncIoIy In ILs urIsLocruLIc
nIIIIIsm. WouId you promIse yourseII mucI pIeusure und proIIL Irom sucI LrIcks?"
¡ (reLorL ungrIIy): "No."
He: "Terse und LesLy. BuL wIy so LesLy? Becuuse ¡ puL Lo you IrIendIy quesLIons oI conscIence,
jusL beLween ourseIves? Becuuse ¡ sIewed you your despuIrIng IeurL und seL beIore your eyes
wILI LIe experL's InsIgIL LIe dIIIIcuILIes ubsoIuLeIy InsepurubIe Irom composILIon Loduy? You
mIgIL even so vuIue me us un experL. TIe DevII ougIL Lo know someLIIng ubouL musIc. ¡I ¡
mIsLuke noL, you were reudIng jusL now In u book by LIe CIrIsLIun In Iove wILI uesLIeLIcs. He
knew und undersLood my purLIcuIur reIuLIon Lo LIIs beuuLIIuI urL - LIe mosL CIrIsLIun oI uII urLs,
Ie IInds - buL CIrIsLIun In reverse, us IL were: InLroduced und deveIoped by CIrIsLIunILy Indeed,
buL LIen rejecLed und bunned us LIe DIveI's KIngdom- so LIere you ure. A IIgIIy LIeoIogIcuI
busIness, musIc - LIe wuy sIn Is, LIe wuy ¡ um. TIe pussIon oI LIuL CIrIsLIun Ior musIc Is Lrue
pussIon, und us sucI knowIedge und corrupLIon In one. ¡or LIere Is Lrue pussIon onIy In LIe
umbIguous und IronIc. TIe IIgIesL pussIon concerns LIe ubsoIuLeIy quesLIonubIe... No, musIcuI ¡
um Indeed, don'L worry ubouL LIuL. ¡ Iuve sung you LIe roIe oI poor Judus becuuse oI LIe
dIIIIcuILIes InLo wIIcI musIc IIke everyLIIng eIse Ius goL Loduy. SIouId ¡ noL Iuve done so? BuL ¡
dId IL onIy Lo poInL ouL Lo you LIuL you sIouId breuk LIrougI LIem, LIuL you sIouId IIIL yourseII
ubove LIem Lo gIddy IeIgILs oI seII-udmIruLIon, und do sucI LIIngs LIuL you wIII beIoId LIem
onIy wILI sIudders oI uwe." ¡: "An unnuncIuLIon, In IucL. ¡ um Lo grow osmoLIc growLIs." He: "¡L
comes Lo LIe sume LIIng. ¡ce crysLuIs, or LIe sume mude oI sLurcI, sugur, und ceIIuIose, boLI ure
nuLure; we usk, Ior wIIcI sIuII we pruIse NuLure more. Your Lendency, my IrIend, Lo InquIre uILer
LIe objecLIve, LIe so-cuIIed LruLI, Lo quesLIon us worLIIess LIe subjecLIve, pure experIence: LIuL Is
LruIy peLLy bourgeoIs, you ougIL Lo overcome IL. As you see me, so ¡ exIsL Lo you. WIuL serves IL Lo
usk wIeLIer ¡ reuIIy um? ¡s noL 'reuIIy' wIuL works, Is noL LruLI experIence und IeeIIng? WIuL
upIIILs you, wIuL Increuses your IeeIIng oI power und mIgIL und domInuLIon, dumn IL, LIuL Is LIe
LruLI - und wIeLIer Len LImes u IIe wIen Iooked uL Irom LIe moruI ungIe. TIIs Is wIuL ¡ LIInk:
LIuL un unLruLI oI u kInd LIuL enIunces power IoIds ILs own uguInsL uny IneIIecLIveIy vIrLuous
LruLI. And ¡ meun Loo LIuL creuLIve, genIus-gIvIng dIseuse, dIseuse LIuL rIdes on IIgI Iorse over
uII IIndrunces, und sprIngs wILI drunken durIng Irom peuk Lo peuk, Is u LIousund LImes deurer Lo
IIIe LIun pIoddIng IeuILIIness. ¡ Iuve never Ieurd unyLIIng sLupIder LIen LIuL Irom dIseuse onIy
dIseuse cun come. ¡IIe Is noL scrupuIous - by moruIs IL seLs noL u IurL. ¡L Lukes LIe reckIess
producL oI dIseuse, Ieeds on und dIgesLs IL, und us soon us IL Lukes IL Lo ILseII IL Is IeuILI. BeIore
LIe IucL oI IILness Ior IIIe, my good mun, uII dIsLIncLIon oI dIseuse und IeuILI IuIIs uwuy. A wIoIe
IosL und generuLIon oI youLI, recepLIve, sound Lo LIe core, IIIngs ILseII on LIe work oI LIe morbId
genIus, mude genIus by dIseuse: udmIres IL, pruIses IL, exuILs IL, currIes IL uwuy, ussImIIuLes IL unLo
ILseII und mukes IL over Lo cuILure, wIIcI IIves noL on Iome-mude breud uIone, buL us weII on
provender und poIson Irom LIe upoLIecury's sIop uL LIe sIgn oI LIe BIessed Messengers. TIus
suILI Lo you LIe unbowdIerIzed SummueI. He guurunLees noL onIy LIuL Lowurd LIe end oI your
Ioure-gIusse yeurs your sense oI your power und spIendour wIII more und more ouLweIgI LIe
pungs oI LIe IILLIe seu-muId und IInuIIy mounL Lo mosL LrIumpIunL weII-beIng, Lo u sense oI
bursLIng IeuILI, Lo LIe wuIk und wuy oI u god. TIuL Is onIy LIe subjecLIve sIde oI LIe LIIng, ¡
know; IL wouId noL suIIIce, IL wouId seem Lo you unsubsLunLIuI. Know, LIen, we pIedge you LIe
success oI LIuL wIIcI wILI our IeIp you wIII uccompIIsI. You wIII Ieud LIe wuy, you wIII sLrIke up
LIe murcI oI LIe IuLure, LIe Iuds wIII sweur by your nume, wIo LIunks Lo your mudness wIII no
Ionger need Lo be mud. On your mudness LIey wIII Ieed In IeuILI, und In LIem you wIII become
IeuILIy. Do you undersLund? NoL onIy wIII you breuk LIrougI LIe puruIysIng dIIIIcuILIes oI LIe
LIme - you wIII breuk LIrougI LIme ILseII, by wIIcI ¡ meun LIe cuILuruI epocI und ILs cuIL, und
dure Lo be burburIc, LwIce burburIc Indeed, becuuse oI comIng uILer LIe Iumune, uILer uII possIbIe
rooL-LreuLmenL und bourgeoIs ruIIInemenL. BeIIeve me, burburIsm even Ius more grusp oI
LIeoIogy LIen Ius u cuILure IuIIen uwuy Irom cuIL, wIIcI even In LIe reIIgIous Ius seen onIy cuI-
Lure, onIy LIe Iumune, never excess, purudox, LIe mysLIc pussIon, LIe uLLerIy unbourgeoIs ordeuI.
BuL ¡ Iope you do noL murveI LIuL 'LIe GreuL Adversury' speuks Lo you oI reIIgIon. Gog's nuIIs!
WIo eIse, ¡ sIouId IIke Lo know, Is Lo speuk oI IL Loduy? SureIy noL LIe IIberuI LIeoIogIun! AILer uII
¡ um by now ILs soIe cusLodIun! ¡n wIom wIII you recognIze LIeoIogIcuI exIsLence II noL In me?
And wIo cun Ieud u LIeoIogIcuI exIsLence wILIouL me? TIe reIIgIous Is cerLuInIy my IIne: us
cerLuInIy us IL Is noL LIe IIne oI bourgeoIs cuILure. SInce cuILure IeII uwuy Irom LIe cuIL und mude
u cuIL oI ILseII, IL Ius become noLIIng eIse LIen u IuIIIng uwuy; und uII LIe worId uILer u mere IIve
Iundred yeurs Is us sIck und LIred oI IL us LIougI, scltc tenic, LIey Iud IudIed IL In wILI cookIng-
spoons."
¡L wus now, IL wus even u IILLIe beIore LIIs, wIen Ie wus uLLerIng IIs LuunLs und mockuge ubouL
LIe LIeoIogIcuI exIsLence oI LIe DevII und beIng LIe guurdIun oI LIe reIIgIous IIIe, speukIng In
IIowIng Iunguuge IIke u IecLour, LIuL ¡ noLIced LIe mercIuunLe beIore me on LIe soIu Iud cIunged
uguIn; Ie seemed no Ionger Lo be LIe specLucIed InLeIIecLuuI und umuLeur oI musIc wIo Iud
uwIIIe been speukIng. And Ie wus no Ienger jusL sILLIng In IIs corner, Ie wus rIdIng IegeremenL,
IuII-sILLIng, on LIe curved urm oI LIe soIu, IIs IIngerLIps crossed In IIs Iup und boLI LIumbs
spreud ouL. A IILLIe purLed beurd on IIs cIIn wugged up und down us Ie LuIked, und ubove IIs
open IIps wILI LIe sIurp LeeLI beIInd LIem wus LIe IILLIe mousLucIe wILI sLIII LwIsLed poInLs. ¡
Iud Lo IuugI, In uII my Irozenness, uL IIs meLumorpIosIs InLo LIe oId IumIIIur.
"ObedIenL servunL," ¡ suy. "¡ ougIL Lo know you; und ¡ IInd IL mosL cIvII oI you Lo gIve me u
prIvuLIssImum Iere In our IuII. As ye now ure, my ProLeun IrIend, ¡ Iook Lo IInd you reudy Lo
quencI my LIIrsL Ior knowIedge und concIusIveIy demonsLruLe your IndependenL presence by
LeIIIng me noL onIy LIIngs ¡ know buL uIso oI some ¡ wouId IIke Lo know. You Iuve IecLured me u
good deuI ubouL LIe Ioure-gIusse LIme you purvey; uIso ubouL LIe puymenL In puIns Lo be mude
now und uguIn Ior LIe IIgIer IIIe; buL noL ubouL LIe end, ubouL wIuL comes uILerwurds, LIe
eLernuI obIILeruLIon. TIuL Is wIuL excILes curIosILy, und you Iuve noL, Iong us you Iuve been
squuLLIng LIere, gIven spuce Lo LIe quesLIon In uII your LuIk. SIuII ¡ noL know LIe prIce In cross
und kreuzer? Answer me: wIuL Is IIIe IIke In LIe Drugon's Den? WIuL Iuve LIey Lo expecL, wIo
Iuve IIsLened Lo you, In LIe speluncc?"
He (IuugIs u IuIseLLo IuugI): "OI LIe pernicies, LIe conjutctio you wunL Lo Iuve knowIedge?
CuII LIuL pryIng, ¡ do, LIe exuberunce oI LIe youLIIuI scIoIur. TIere Is LIme enougI, so mucI LIuL
you cun'L see Lo LIe end oI IL, und so mucI excILemenL comIng IIrsL - you wIII Iuve u pIenLy Lo do
besIdes LukIng Ieed Lo LIe end, or even noLIcIng LIe momenL wIen IL mIgIL be LIme Lo Luke Ieed
Lo LIe endIng. BuL ¡'II noL deny you LIe InIormuLIon und do noL need Lo puIIIuLe, Ior wIuL cun
serIousIy LroubIe you, LIuL Is so Iur oII? OnIy IL Is noL eusy ucLuuIIy Lo speuk LIereoI - LIuL Is, one
cun reuIIy noL speuk oI IL uL uII, becuuse LIe ucLuuI Is beyond wIuL by word cun be decIured; muny
words muy be used und IusIIoned, buL uII LogeLIer LIey ure buL Lokens, sLundIng Ior numes wIIcI
do noL und cunnoL muke cIuIm Lo descrIbe wIuL Is never Lo be descrIbed und denounced In words.
TIuL Is LIe secreL deIIgIL und securILy oI IeII, LIuL IL Is noL Lo be InIormed on, LIuL IL Is proLecLed
Irom speecI, LIuL IL jusL Is, buL cunnoL be pubIIc In LIe newspuper, be brougIL by uny word Lo
crILIcuI knowIedge, wIereIor precIseIy LIe words 'subLerruneun,' 'ceIIur,' 'LIIck wuIIs,'
'soundIessness,' 'IorgoLLenness,' 'IopeIessness,' ure LIe poor, weuk symboIs. One musL jusL be
suLIsIIed wILI symboIIsm, my good mun, wIen one Is speukIng oI IeII, Ior LIere everyLIIng ends
- noL onIy LIe word LIuL descrIbes, buL everyLIIng uILogeLIer. TIIs Is Indeed LIe cIIeIesL
cIurucLerIsLIc und wIuL In mosL generuI Lerms Is Lo be uLLered ubouL IL: boLI LIuL wIIcI LIe
newcomer LIILIer IIrsL experIences, und wIuL uL IIrsL wILI IIs us IL were sound senses Ie cunnoL
grusp, und wIII noL undersLund, becuuse IIs reuson or wIuL IImILuLIon soever oI IIs
undersLundIng prevenLs IIm, In sIorL becuuse IL Is quILe unbeIIevubIe enougI Lo muke IIm Lurn
wIILe us u sIeeL, uILIougI IL Is opened Lo IIm uL once on greeLIng, In LIe mosL empIuLIc und
concIse words, LIuL 'here eterçthinç lectes ojj.' Every compussIon, every gruce, every spurIng,
every IusL Lruce oI consIderuLIon Ior LIe IncreduIous, ImpIorIng objecLIon 'LIuL you verIIy cunnoL
do so unLo u souI': IL Is done, IL Iuppens, und Indeed wILIouL beIng cuIIed Lo uny reckonIng In
words; In soundIess ceIIur, Iur down beneuLI God's IeurIng, und Iuppens Lo uII eLernILy. No, IL Is
bud Lo speuk oI IL, IL IIes usIde Irom und ouLsIde oI speecI, Iunguuge Ius nuugIL Lo do wILI und no
connecLIon wILI IL, wIereIore sIe knows noL rIgILIy wIuL LIme-Iorm Lo uppIy Lo IL und IeIps
IerseII perIorce wILI LIe IuLure Lense, even us IL Is wrILLen: 'TIere sIuII be wuIIIng und gnusIIng
oI LeeLI.' Good; LIese ure u Iew word-sounds, cIosen ouL oI u ruLIer exLreme spIere oI Iunguuge,
yeL buL weuk symboIs und wILIouL proper reIerence Lo wIuL 'sIuII be' LIere, unrecorded, un-
reckoned, beLween LIIck wuIIs. True IL Is LIuL InsIde LIese ecIo-Iess wuIIs IL geLs rIgIL Ioud,
meusureIess Ioud, und by mucI overIIIIIng LIe eur wILI screecIIng und beseecIIng, gurgIIng und
grounIng, wILI yuuIIng und buuIIng und cuLerwuuIIng, wILI IorrId wIndIng und grIndIng und
ruckIng ecsLusIes oI unguIsI no mun cun Ieur IIs own Lune, Ior LIuL IL smoLIers In LIe generuI, In
LIe LIIck-cIoLLed dIupuson oI LrIIIs und cIIrps Iured Irom LIIs everIusLIng dIspensuLIon oI LIe
unbeIIevubIe combIned wILI LIe IrresponsIbIe. NoLIIng IorgeLLIng LIe dIsmuI grouns oI IusL
mIxLed LIerewILI; sInce endIess LormenL, wILI no possIbIe coIIupse, no swoon Lo puL u perIod
LIereLo, degeneruLes InLo sIumeIuI pIeusure, wIereIore sucI us Iuve some InLuILIve knowIedge
speuk Indeed oI LIe 'IusLs oI IeII.' And LIerewILI mockuge und LIe exLreme oI IgnomIny sucI us
beIongs wILI murLyrdom; Ior LIIs bIIss oI IeII Is IIke u deep-voIced pILIIuII jeerIng und scorne oI
uII LIe ImmeusureubIe unguIsI; IL Is uccompunIed by wIInnyIng IuugILer und LIe poInLIng IInger;
wIence LIe docLrIne LIuL LIe dumned Iuve noL onIy LormenL buL uIso mockery und sIume Lo
beur; yeu, LIuL IeII Is Lo be deIIned us u monsLrous combInuLIon oI suIIerIng und derIsIon, un-
endurubIe yeL Lo be endured worId wILIouL end. TIere wIII LIey devour LIeIr proper Longues Ior
greuLness oI LIe ugony, yeL muke no common cuuse on LIuL uccounL, Ior ruLIer LIey ure IuII oI
IuLred und scorn uguInsL eucI oLIer, und In LIe mIdsL oI LIeIr LrIIIs und quuvers IurI uL one
unoLIer LIe IouIesL ouLIs. Yeu, LIe IInesL und proudesL, wIo never IeL u Iewd word puss LIeIr IIps,
ure Iorced Lo use LIe IIILIIesL oI uII. A purL oI LIeIr LormenL und IusL oI sIume sLundeLI LIereIn
LIuL LIey musL cogILuLe LIe exLremILy oI IIILIIness."
¡: "AIIow me, LIIs Is LIe IIrsL word you Iuve suId Lo me ubouL wIuL munner oI suIIerIng LIe
dumned Iuve Lo beur. Pruy noLe LIuL you Iuve onIy IecLured Lo me on LIe uIIecLs oI IeII, buL noL
ubouL wIuL objecLIveIy und In IucL musL uwuIL LIe dumned."
He: "Your curIosILy Is cIIIdIsI und IndIscreeL. ¡ puL LIuL In LIe Ioreground; buL ¡ um very weII
uwure Indeed, my good souI, wIuL IIdes beIInd IL. You ussuye Lo quesLIon me In order Lo be
Ieured, Lo be uIruId oI LIe pungs oI IeII. ¡or LIe LIougIL oI buckwurd LurnIng und rescue, oI your
so-cuIIed souI-IeuI, oI wILIdruwIng Irom LIe promIse Iurks In LIe buck oI your mInd und you ure
ucLIng Lo summon up LIe cttritio cordis, LIe IeurLIeIL unguIsI und dreud oI wIuL Is Lo come, oI
wIIcI you muy weII Iuve Ieurd, LIuL by IL mun cun urrIve uL LIe so-cuIIed bIessedness. ¡eL me LeII
you, LIuL Is un enLIreIy expIoded LIeoIogy. TIe uLLrILIon-LIeory Ius been scIenLIIIcuIIy
superseded. ¡L Is sIown LIuL contritio Is necessury, LIe reuI und Lrue proLesLunL remorse Ior sIn,
wIIcI meuns noL mereIy Ieur repenLunce by cIurcIIy reguIuLIon buL Inner, reIIgIous conversIon;
usk yourseII wIeLIer you ure cupubIe oI LIuL; usk yourseII, your prIde wIII noL IuII oI un unswer.
TIe Ionger LIe Iess wIII you be ubIe und wIIIIng Lo IeL yourseII In Ior contritio, sILIence LIe
exLruvugunL IIIe you wIII Ieud Is u greuL InduIgence, ouL oI LIe wIIcI u mun does noL so sImpIy
IInd LIe wuy buck InLo LIe good suIe uveruge. TIereIore, Lo your reussurunce be IL suId, even IeII
wIII noL uIIord you uugIL essenLIuIIy new, onIy LIe more or Iess uccusLomed, und proudIy so. ¡L Is
uL boLLom onIy u conLInuuLIon oI LIe exLruvugunL exIsLence. To knIL up In Lwo words ILs
quInLessence, or II you IIke ILs cIIeI muLLer, Is LIuL IL Ieuves ILs denIzens onIy LIe cIoIce beLween
exLreme coId und un exLreme IeuL wIIcI cun meIL grunILe. BeLween LIese Lwo sLuLes LIey IIee
rourIng Lo und Iro, Ior In LIe one LIe oLIer uIwuys seems IeuvenIy reIresImenL buL Is uL once und
In LIe mosL IeIIIsI meunIng oI LIe word InLoIerubIe. TIe exLreme In LIIs musL pIeuse you."
¡: "¡L IIkeLI me. MeunwIIIe ¡ wouId wurn you IesL you IeeI uII Loo cerLuIn oI me. A cerLuIn
sIuIIowness In your LIeoIogy mIgIL LempL you LIereLo. You reIy on my prIde prevenLIng me Irom
LIe contritio necessury Lo suIvucIon, und do noL beLIInk yourseII LIuL LIere Is u prIdeIuI contritio.
TIe remorse oI CuIn, Ior InsLunce, wIo wus oI LIe IIrm persuusIon LIuL IIs sIn wus greuLer LIun
couId ever be IorgIven IIm. TIe contritio wILIouL Iope, us compIeLe dIsbeIIeI In LIe possIbIIILy oI
mercy und IorgIveness, LIe rockIIke IIrm convIcLIon oI LIe sInner LIuL Ie Ius done Loo grossIy Ior
even LIe EverIusLIng Goodness Lo be ubIe Lo IorgIve IIs sIn - onIy LIuL Is LIe Lrue contritio. ¡ cuII
your uLLenLIon Lo LIe IucL LIuL IL Is LIe nIgIesL Lo redempLIon, Ior Goodness LIe mosL IrresIsLIbIe
oI uII. You wIII udmIL LIuL LIe everyduy sInner cun be buL very moderuLeIy InLeresLIng Lo Mercy.
¡n IIs cuse LIe ucL oI gruce Ius buL IILLIe ImpeLus, IL Is buL u IeebIe moLIon. MedIocrILy, In IucL, Ius
no LIeoIogIcuI sLuLus. A cupucILy Ior sIn so IeuIIess LIuL IL mukes ILs mun despuIr Irom IIs IeurL
oI redempLIon - LIuL Is LIe Lrue LIeoIogIcuI wuy Lo suIvuLIon."
He: "You ure u sIy dog! And wIere wIII LIe IIkes oI you geL LIe sIngIe-mIndedness, LIe nuIve
reckIessness oI despuIr, wIIcI wouId be LIe premIse Ior LIIs sInIuII wuye Lo suIvucIon? ¡s IL noL
pIuyne Lo you LIuL LIe conscIous specuIuLIon on LIe cIurm wIIcI greuL guIIL exercIses on
Goodness mukes LIe ucL oI mercy Lo LIe uLLermosL unpossIbIe Lo IL?"
¡: "And yeL onIy LIrougI LIIs non plus ultrc cun LIe IIgI prIck oI LIe drumuLIc-LIeoIogIcuI
exIsLence be urrIved uL; ¡ meun LIe mosL ubundoned guIIL und LIe IusL und mosL IrresIsLIbIe
cIuIIenge Lo LIe EverIusLIng Goodness."
He: "NoL bud. OI u LruLI IngenIous. And now ¡ wIII LeII you LIuL precIseIy Ieuds oI your sorL
comprIse LIe popuIuLIon oI IeII. ¡L Is noL so eusy Lo geL InLo IeII, we sIouId Iong Iuve been
suIIerIng Ior Iuck oI spuce II we IeL PIIIIp und CIeyney In. BuL your LIeoIogIun In gruIn, your
urrunL wIIy-pIe wIo specuIuLes on specuIuLIon becuuse Ie Ius specuIuLIon In IIs bIood uIreudy
Irom LIe IuLIer's sIde - LIere musL be IouI work un Ie dId noL beIong Lo LIe dIveI."
As Ie suId LIuL, or even somewIuL uIore, LIe IeIIow cIunged uguIn, LIe wuy cIouds do, wILIouL
knowIng IL, uppurenLIy; Is no Ionger sILLIng on LIe urm oI LIe coucI beIore me In LIe room; LIere
buck In LIe soIu-corner Is LIe unspeukubIe IoseI, LIe cIeesy rupscuIIIon In LIe cup, wILI LIe red
eyes. And suys Lo me In IIs sIow, nusuI, ucLor's voIce:
"To muke un end und u concIusIon wIII be ugreeubIe Lo you. ¡ Iuve devoLed mucI LIme und
LurrIed Iong Lo enLreuL oI LIIs muLLer wILI you - ¡ Iope und LrusL you reuIIze. BuL uIso you ure un
uLLrucLIve cuse, LIuL ¡ IreeIy udmIL. ¡rom eurIy on we Iud un eye on you, on your quIck, urrogunL
Ieud, your mIgILy inçenium und memoricm. TIey Iuve mude you sLudy LIeoIogy, us your con-
ceIL devIsed IL, buL you wouId soon nume yourseII no Ienger oI LIeoIogIuns, buL puL LIe Good
Boke under LIe bencI und Irom LIen on sLuck Lo LIe IIgures, cIurucLers, und IncunLuLIons oI
musIc, wIIcI pIeused us noL u IILLIe. ¡or your vuIne gIory uspIred Lo LIe eIemenLuI, und you
LIougIL Lo guIn IL In LIe Iorm mosL meLe Ior you, wIere uIgebruIc mugIc Is murrIed wILI
correspondIng cIeverness und cuIcuIuLIon und yeL uL LIe sume LIme IL uIwuys boIdIy wurres
uguInsL reuson und sobrIeLy. BuL dId we LIen noL know LIuL you were Loo cIever und coId und
cIusLe Ior LIe eIemenL; und dId we noL know LIuL you were sore vexed LIereuL und pILeousIy
bored wILI your sIumeIusL cIeverness? TIus IL wus our busIIy prepensed pIun LIuL you sIouId
run InLo our urms, LIuL Is, oI my IILLIe one, EsmeruIdu, und LIuL you goL IL, LIe IIIumInuLIon, LIe
upIrodIsIucum oI LIe bruIn, uILer wIIcI wILI body und souI und mInd you so desperuLeIy Ionged.
To be sIorL, beLween us LIere needs no crosse wuy In LIe Spesser's Wood und no cercIes. We ure
In Ieugue und busIness - wILI your bIood you Iuve uIIIrmed IL und promIsed "yourseII Lo us, und
ure bupLIzed ours. TIIs my vIsIL concerns onIy LIe conIIrmuLIon LIereoI. TIme you Iuve Luken
Irom us, u genIus's LIme, IIgI-IIyIng LIme, IuII XX¡V yeurs cb dcto recessi, wIIcI we seL Lo you us
LIe IImIL. WIen LIey ure IInIsIed und IuIIy expIred, wIIcI Is noL Lo be Ioreseen, und sucI u LIme
Is uIso un eLernILy - LIen you sIuIbe IeLcIed. AguInsL LIIs meunwIIIe sIuII we be In uII LIIngs
subjecL und obedIenL, und IeII sIuII proIIL you, II you renuy uII IIvIng creuLure, uII LIe HeuvenIy
HosL und uII men, Ior LIuL musL be."
¡ (In un exceedIng coId druugIL): "WIuL? TIuL Is new. WIuL sIgnIIIes LIe clcusulc?"
He: "Renounce, IL meuns. WIuL oLIerwIse? Do you LIInk LIuL jeuIousy dweIIs In LIe IeIgIL und
noL uIso, In LIe depLIs? To us you ure, IIne, weII-creuLe creuLure, promIsed und espoused. TIou
muIsL noL Iove."
¡ (reuIIy Iuve Lo IuugI): "NoL Iove! Poor dIveI! WIII you subsLunLIuLe LIe reporL oI your
sLupIdILy und weur u beII even us u cuL, LIuL you wIII buse busIness und promIse on so eIusLIc, so
ensnurIng u concepL us Iove? WIII LIe DeyII proIIbIL IusL? ¡I IL be noL so, LIen Ie musL endure
sympuLIy, yeu, even ccritcs, eIse Ie Is beLruyed jusL us IL Is wrILLen In LIe books. WIuL ¡ Iuve
InvILed, und wIereIore you uIIege LIuL ¡ Iuve promIsed you - wIuL Is LIen LIe source oI IL,
prILIee, buL Iove, even II LIuL poIsoned by you wILI God's suncLIon? TIe bond In wIIcI you usserL
we sLund Ius ILseII Lo do wILI Iove, you douLIng IooI. You uIIege LIuL ¡ wunLed IL und repuIred Lo
LIe wood, LIe crosse-wuye, Ior LIe suke oI LIe work. BuL LIey suy LIuL work ILseII Ius Lo do wILI
Iove."
He (IuugIIng LIrougI IIs nose): "Do, re, mI! Be ussured LIuL LIy psycIoIogIcuI IeInLs do noL
Lrup me, uny beLLer LIen do LIe LIeoIogIcuI. PsycIoIogy - God wurrunL us, do you sLIII IoId wILI
IL? TIuL Is bud, bourgeoIs nIneLeenLI cenLury. TIe epocI Is IeurLIIy sIck oI IL, IL wIII soon be u red
rug Lo Ier, und Ie wIII sImpIy geL u cruck on LIe puLe, wIo dIsLurbs IIIe by psycIoIogy. We ure
enLerIng InLo LImes, my IrIend, wIIcI wIII noL be IoodwInked by psycIoIogy... TIIs en pcsscnt.
My condILIon wus cIeur und dIrecL, deLermIned by LIe IegILImuLe jeuIousy oI IeII. ¡ove Is
IorbIdden you, In so Iur us IL wurms. TIy IIIe sIuII be coId, LIereIore LIou sIuIL Iove no Iumun
beIng. WIuL ure you LIInkIng, LIen? TIe IIIumInuLIon Ieuves your menLuI powers Lo LIe IusL
unImpuIred, yes, IeIgILens LIem Lo un ecsLuLIe oI deIIrIum - wIuL sIuII IL LIen go sIorL oI suve
LIe deur souI und LIe prIceIess IIIe oI IeeIIng? A generuI cIIIIIng oI your IIIe und your reIuLIons Lo
men IIes In LIe nuLure oI LIIngs - ruLIer IL IIes uIreudy In your nuLure; In IeILI we Iuy upon you
noLIIng new, LIe IILLIe ones muke noLIIng new und sLrunge ouL oI you, LIey onIy IngenIousIy
sLrengLIen und exuggeruLe uII LIuL you uIreudy urc. TIe coIdness In you Is perIups noL
preIIgured, us weII us LIe puLernuI Ieud puynes ouL oI wIIcI LIe pungs oI LIe IILLIe seu-muId ure
Lo come? CoId we wunL you Lo be, LIuL LIe IIres oI creuLIon sIuII be IoL enougI Lo wurm yourseII
In. ¡nLo LIem you wIII IIee ouL oI LIe coId oI your IIIe... "
¡: "And Irom LIe burnIng buck Lo LIe Ice. ¡L seems Lo be IeII In udvunce, wIIcI Is uIreudy
oIIered me on eurLI."
He: "¡L Is LIuL exLruvugunL IIvIng, LIe onIy one LIuL suIIIces u proud souI. Your urrogunce wIII
probubIy never wunL Lo excIunge wILI u Iukewurm one. Do you sLrIke wILI me? A work-IIIIed
eLernILy oI Iumun IIIe sIuII you enjoy. WIen LIe Ioure-gIusse runs ouL, LIen ¡ sIuII Iuve good
power Lo deuI und doIe wILI, Lo move und munuge LIe IIne-creuLed CreuLure uILer my wuy und my
pIeusure, be IL In IIIe, souI, IIesI, bIood or goods - Lo uII eLernILy!"
TIere IL wus uguIn, LIe unconLroIIubIe dIsgusL LIuL Iud uIreudy seIzed me once beIore und
sIuken me, LogeLIer wILI LIe gIucIuI wuve oI coId wIIcI cume over me uguIn Irom LIe LIgIL-
Lrousered strizzi LIere. ¡ IorgoL myseII In u Iury oI dIsgusL, IL wus IIke u IuInLIng-IIL. And LIen ¡
Ieurd ScIIIdknupp's eusy, everyduy voIce, Ie suL LIere In LIe soIu-corner, suyIng Lo me:
"OI course you dIdn'L mIss unyLIIng. Newspupers und Lwo gumes oI bIIIIurds, u round oI
MursuIu und LIe good souIs cuIIIng LIe çoterno over LIe couIs."
¡ wus sILLIng In my summer suIL, by my Iump, LIe CIrIsLIun's book on my knee. Cun'L be
unyLIIng eIse: In my excILemenL ¡ musL Iuve cIused LIe IoseI ouL und currIed my couL und rug
buck beIore ScIIIdknupp reLurned.

CHAPTIR XXVI
¡L consoIes me Lo be ubIe Lo LeII myseII LIuL LIe reuder cunnoL Iuy Lo my cIurge LIe
exLruordInury sIze oI LIe IusL cIupLer, wIIcI consIderubIy exceeds LIe dIsquIeLIng number oI
puges In LIe one on KreLscImur's IecLures. TIe unreusonubIe demund mude upon LIe reuder
does noL IIe uL my door und need noL LroubIe me. To mILIguLe AdrIun's uccounL by subjecLIng IL Lo
uny kInd oI edILIng; Lo dIsmIss LIe "dIuIogue" In u Iew numbered purugrupIs (wIII LIe reuder
pIeuse noLe LIe proLesLIng quoLuLIon-murks ¡ Iuve gIven LIe word, wILIouL conceuIIng Irom
myseII LIuL LIey cun remove Irom IL onIy purL oI ILs IndweIIIng Iorror); Lo do LIIs no regurd Ior
LIe possIbIe IuIIure oI LIe reuder's cupucILy couId possIbIy move me. WILI rueIuI IoyuILy ¡ Iud Lo
reproduce u gIven LIIng; Lo LrunsIer IL Irom AdrIun's musIc-puper Lo my munuscrIpL; und LIuL ¡
Iuve done, noL onIy word Ior word, buL uIso, ¡ muy suy, IeLLer Ior IeLLer - oILen IuyIng down LIe
pen Lo recover myseII, Lo meusure my sLudy IIoor wILI Ieuvy, pensIve Lreud or Lo LIrow myseII on
my soIu wILI my Iunds cIusped upon my brow. So LIuL, Iowever sLrunge IL muy seem, LIIs
cIupLer, wIIcI ¡ Iud onIy Lo copy down, ucLuuIIy dId noL Ieuve my someLImes LrembIIng Iund uny
IusLer LIun LIe eurIIer ones wIIcI ¡ composed myseII.
To copy, undersLundIngIy und crILIcuIIy, Is In IucL - uL IeusL Ior me, und MonsIgnor
HInLerpIorLner ugrees wILI me - un occupuLIon us InLensIve und LIme-consumIng us puLLIng
down one's own LIougILs. ¡L Is IIkeIy LIuL LIe reuder muy beIore now Iuve underesLImuLed LIe
number oI duys und weeks LIuL ¡ Iud spenL upon LIe IIIe-sLory oI my depurLed IrIend. ¡L Is even
more probubIe LIuL IIs ImugInuLIon wIII Iuve IuIIen beIInd LIe poInL oI LIme uL wIIcI ¡ um
composIng LIe presenL IInes. He muy IuugI uL my pedunLry, buL ¡ consIder IL rIgIL Lo IeL IIm
know LIuL sInce ¡ begun wrILIng uImosL u yeur Ius pussed; und LIuL wIIIsL ¡ Iuve been composIng
LIe IusL cIupLers, AprII 1qqq Ius urrIved.
TIuL duLe, oI course, Is LIe poInL wIere ¡ now sLund In my ucLuuI wrILIng und noL LIe one up Lo
wIIcI my nurruLIve Ius progressed. TIuL Ius onIy reucIed LIe uuLumn oI 1q1z, LwenLy monLIs
beIore LIe ouLbreuk oI LIe IusL wur, wIen AdrIun und RüdIger ScIIIdknupp cume buck Irom
PuIesLrInu Lo MunIcI und Ie Iodged uL IIrsL In PensIon GIseIu In ScIwubIng. ¡ do noL know wIy
LIIs doubIe LIme-reckonIng urresLs my uLLenLIon or wIy ¡ um uL puIns Lo poInL ouL boLI LIe
personuI und LIe objecLIve, LIe LIme In wIIcI LIe nurruLor moves und LIuL In wIIcI LIe nurruLIve
does so. TIIs Is u quILe exLruordInury InLerweuvIng oI LIme-unILs, desLIned, moreover, Lo IncIude
even u LIIrd: numeIy, LIe LIme wIIcI one duy LIe courLeous reuder wIII Luke Ior LIe reudIng oI
wIuL Ius been wrILLen; uL wIIcI poInL Ie wIII be deuIIng wILI u LIreeIoId orderIng oI LIme: IIs
own, LIuL oI LIe cIronIcIer, und IIsLorIc LIme.
¡ wIII noL Iose myseII IurLIer In LIese specuIuLIons, Lo my mInd us IdIe us LIey ure ugILuLIng. ¡
wIII onIy udd LIuL LIe word "IIsLorIc" IILs wILI u Iur more sInIsLer empIusIs LIe LIme In wIIcI,
LIun ubouL wIIcI, ¡ wrILe. ¡n LIese IusL duys LIe buLLIe Ior Odessu Ius been rugIng, wILI Ieuvy
Iosses, endIng In LIe recupLure by LIe RussIuns oI LIe Iumous cILy on LIe BIuck Seu - LIougI LIe
enemy wus noL ubIe Lo dIsorgunIze our reLreuL. TIe cuse wIII be LIe sume wILI SebusLopoI,
unoLIer oI our pIedges unLo deuLI, wIIcI LIe obvIousIy superIor unLugonIsL uppeurs Lo meun Lo
wresL Irom us. MeunwIIIe LIe Lerrors oI uImosL duIIy uIr ruIds upon our beIeuguered ¡orLress
Europu grows InLo IncredIbIe dImensIons. WIuL does IL uvuII LIuL muny oI LIese monsLers,
ruInIng down ever more powerIuI, more IorrIbIe expIosIves, IuII vIcLIm Lo our IeroIc deIence?
TIousunds durken LIe skIes oI our IIerceIy unILed conLInenL, und ever more oI our cILIes IuII In
ruIns. ¡eIpzIg, wIIcI pIuyed so sIgnIIIcunL u purL In ¡everküIn's deveIopmenL und Lrugedy, Ius
IuLeIy been sLruck wILI mIgIL und muIn; ILs Iumous pubIIsIIng quurLer Is, ¡ Ieur, u Ieup oI
rubbIe, wILI ImmeusurubIe desLrucLIon oI educuLIonuI und IILerury properLy: u very Ieuvy Ioss noL
onIy Ior us Germuns buL uILogeLIer Ior LIe worId wIIcI mukes cuILure ILs concern, buL wIIcI In
bIIndness or In even-Iundedness, ¡ wIII noL venLure Lo suy wIIcI, uppeurs Lo pockeL up LIe Ioss.
Yes, ¡ Ieur IL wIII prove our desLrucLIon LIuL u IuLuIIy InspIred poIIcy Ius brougIL us InLo conIIIcL
wILI Lwo powers uL once: one oI LIem rIcIesL In mun-power und revoIuLIonury 61un; LIe oLIer
mIgILIesL In producLIve cupucILy. ¡L seems, Indeed, LIuL LIIs AmerIcun producLIon-mucIIne dId
noL even need Lo run Lo cupucILy Lo LIrow ouL un ubsoIuLeIy crusIIng ubundunce oI wur muLerIuI.
TIuL LIe IIubby democrucIes dId know uILer uII Iow Lo use LIese IrIgILIuI LooIs Is u sLuggerIng
reveIuLIon, weunIng us duIIy Irom LIe mIsLuken Ideu LIuL wur Is u Germun preroguLIve, und LIuL
uII oLIer peopIes musL prove Lo be bungIers und umuLeurs In LIe urL. We Iuve begun -
MonsIgnor HInLerpI orLner und ¡ ure no Ionger excepLIons - Lo expecL unyLIIng und everyLIIng
Irom LIe wur LecInIque oI LIe AngIo-Suxons. TIe Ieur oI InvusIon grows: we uwuIL LIe uLLuck,
Irom uII sIdes, wILI preponderunce oI muLerIuI und mIIIIons oI soIdIers, on our Europeun IorLress
- or sIuII ¡ suy our prIson, our mudIouse? ¡L Is expecLed, und onIy LIe mosL ImpressIve uccounLs
oI our meusures uguInsL enemy IundIngs, meusures LIuL reuIIy do seem Lremendous, und ure,
Indeed, desIgned Lo proLecL us und our IemIspIere Irom LIe Ioss oI our presenL Ieuders, onIy
LIese uccounLs cun preserve our menLuI buIunce und prevenL our yIeIdIng Lo LIe generuI Iorror oI
LIe IuLure.
CerLuInIy LIe LIme In wIIcI ¡ wrILe Ius vusLIy greuLer IIsLorIcuI momenLum LIun LIe LIme oI
wIIcI ¡ wrILe, AdrIun's LIme, wIIcI brougIL IIm onIy Lo LIe LIresIoId oI our IncredIbIe epocI. ¡
IeeI us LIougI one sIouId cuII ouL Lo IIm, us Lo uII LIose wIo ure no Ionger wILI us und were noL
wILI us wIen IL begun: "¡ucky you!" und u IervenL "ResL In peuce!" AdrIun Is suIe Irom LIe duys
we dweII In. TIe LIougIL Is deur Lo me, ¡ prIze IL, und In excIunge Ior LIuL cerLuInLy ¡ uccepL LIe
Lerrors oI LIe LIme In wIIcI ¡ myseII conLInue Lo IIve on. ¡L Is Lo me us LIougI ¡ sLood Iere und
IIved Ior IIm, IIved InsLeud oI IIm; us LIougI 1 bore LIe burden IIs sIouIders were spured, us
LIougI ¡ sIowed my Iove by LukIng upon me IIvIng Ior IIm, IIvIng In IIs sLeud. TIe Iuncy,
Iowever IIIusory, Iowever IooIIsI, does me good, IL IIuLLers LIe uIwuys cIerIsIed desIre Lo serve,
Lo IeIp, Lo proLecL IIm - LIIs desIre wIIcI durIng LIe IIIeLIme oI my IrIend Iound so very IILLIe
suLIsIucLIon.
¯ ¯ ¯
¡L Is worLIy oI remurk LIuL AdrIun's sLuy In LIe ScIwubIng pensIon IusLed onIy u Iew duys und
LIuL Ie mude no eIIorL Lo IInd u suILubIe permunenL dweIIIng In LIe cILy. ScIIIdknupp Iud uIreudy
wrILLen Irom ¡LuIy Lo IIs Iormer ubode In LIe AmuIIensLrusse und urrunged Lo be receIved LIere.
BuL AdrIun wus noL LIInkIng eILIer oI reLurnIng Lo IIs oId pIuce uL ¡ruu SenuLor Rodde's or even
oI remuInIng In MunIcI. HIs resoIve seemed Lo Iuve been Luken Iong sInce und sIIenLIy; Ie dId
noL even go ouL Lo PIeIIIerIng neur WuIdsIuL Lo Iook over LIe ground uguIn und cIose LIe burguIn,
buL dId IL uII by one LeIepIone conversuLIon und LIuL u brIeI one. He cuIIed up LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs
Irom PensIon GIseIu - IL wus MoLIer EIse IerseII wIo unswered LIe cuII - InLroduced IImseII us
one oI LIe Lwo bIcycIIsLs wIo Iud been prIvIIeged Lo InspecL LIe Iouse und Iurm, und usked
wIeLIer und uL wIuL prIce LIey couId IeL IIm Iuve u sIeepIng-cIumber In LIe upper sLorey und In
LIe duy-LIme LIe AbboL's room on LIe ground IIoor. ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII IeL LIe prIce resL Ior LIe
momenL - IL proved Lo be very modesL - buL wus concerned Lo IInd ouL wIIcI oI LIe Lwo eurIIer
vIsILors IL wus, LIe wrILer or LIe musIcIun. SIe obvIousIy Iuboured Lo brIng buck Ier ImpressIons
oI LIe vIsIL und reuIIze wIIcI wus LIe musIcIun; LIen sIe expressed some mIsgIvIng, LIougI onIy
In IIs own InLeresL und Irom IIs own poInL oI vIew. Even LIIs sIe puL onIy In LIe Iorm LIuL sIe
LIougIL Ie musL know besL wIuL suILed IIm. TIey, LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs, sIe suId, dId noL seL up Lo
be pensIon-keepers us u busIness, LIey onIy Look In occusIonuIIy, so Lo speuk Irom cuse Lo cuse,
Iodgers und meuIers; LIuL LIe genLIemen Iud been ubIe Lo guLIer LIe oLIer LIme Irom wIuL sIe
suId, und wIeLIer Ie, LIe speuker, represenLed sucI un occusIon und sucI u cuse, LIuL sIe musL
Ieuve IIm Lo judge, Ie wouId Iuve IL preLLy quIeL und duII wILI LIem, und prImILIve us Iur us con-
venIences wenL, no buLIroom, no W.C., jusL u peusunL muke-sIIIL ouLsIde LIe Iouse, und sIe dId
wonder LIuL u genLIemun oI- II sIe Iud Ieurd urIgIL - noL yeL LIIrLy, gIven Lo one oI LIe IIne
urLs, wunLed Lo Luke quurLers In LIe counLry, so Iur uwuy Irom LIe cenLres oI cuILure, buL wonder
wus muybe noL LIe rIgIL word, IL wus noL Iers und Ier Iusbund's wuy Lo wonder, und II muybe IL
wus jusL LIuL Ie wus IookIng Ior, becuuse reuIIy mosL IoIks dId wonder Loo mucI, LIen Ie mIgIL
come, buL IL beLLer be LIougIL ubouL, especIuIIy sInce MuxI, Ier Iusbund, und sIe seL sLore by un
urrungemenL noL mude jusL ouL oI some quIrk und gIvIng noLIce uILer LIey LrIed IL u bIL, buL
meunIng Irom LIe IIrsL Lo bIde, you undersLund, net uchr, çellen's jc? und so on.
He wus comIng Ior good, unswered AdrIun, und Ie Iud consIdered u Iong LIme. TIe kInd oI IIIe
LIuL uwuILed IIm Ie Iud LrIed wILIIn IImseII, Iound IL good und espoused IL. On LIe prIce, u
Iundred und LwenLy murks u monLI, Ie wus ugreed. TIe cIoIce oI bedroom Ie IeIL Lo Ier, und
wus IookIng Iorwurd wILI pIeusure Lo LIe AbboL's room. ¡n LIree duys Ie wouId move In.
And so IL wus. AdrIun empIoyed IIs brIeI sLuy In LIe cILy In mukIng urrungemenLs wILI u
copyIsL recommended Lo IIm (¡ LIInk by KreLscImur), IIrsL bussoon In LIe ZupIensLosser orcIes-
Lru, u mun numed GrIepenkerI, wIo eurned u bIL oI money In LIIs wuy. He IeIL In IIs Iunds u purL
oI LIe purLILur oI Lote's Lcbour's Lost. He Iud noL quILe IInIsIed wILI LIe work In PuIesLrInu,
wus sLIII orcIesLruLIng LIe IusL Lwo ucLs, und wus noL yeL quILe cIeur In IIs mInd ubouL LIe sonuLu-
Iorm overLure, LIe orIgInuI concepLIon oI wIIcI Iud cIunged very mucI by LIe InLroducLIon oI
LIuL sLrIkIng second LIeme, ILseII quILe IoreIgn Lo LIe operu, pIuyIng so spIrILed u purL In LIe
recupILuIuLIon und cIosIng uIIegro. He Iud besIdes mucI LroubIe wILI LIe LIme-murkIngs und so
on, wIIcI Ior exLended sLreLcIes Ie Iud durIng composILIon negIecLed Lo puL In. Moreover IL wus
cIeur Lo me LIuL noL by cIunce Iud LIe end oI IIs ¡LuIIun sojourn und LIe end oI LIe work IuIIed Lo
coIncIde. Even II Ie Iud conscIousIy sLrIven Ior sucI u coIncIdence, un unconscIous InLuILIon Iud
prevenLed IL. He wus Iur Loo mucI LIe mun oI LIe semper idem, oI seII-usserLIon uguInsL cIrcum-
sLunces, Lo regurd IL us desIrubIe Lo come Lo LIe end oI u Lusk pursued In u Iormer scene uL LIe
ucLuuI momenL wIen Ie cIunged IL Ior u new one. ¡or LIe suke oI LIe Inner conLInuILy IL wouId be
beLLer, so Ie suId Lo IImseII, Lo brIng wILI IIm InLo LIe new sILuuLIon u remnunL oI LIe oId
occupuLIon, und onIy Lo IIx LIe Inwurd eye on someLIIng new wIen LIe ouLwurd new sIouId Iuve
become rouLIne.
WILI IIs never Ieuvy Iugguge, Lo wIIcI beIonged u brIeI-cuse wILI IIs scores und LIe rubber
Lub wIIcI In ¡LuIy Loo Iud IurnIsIed IIs buLI, Ie LruveIIed Lo IIs gouI Irom LIe SLurnberger sLu-
LIon on one oI LIe IocuI LruIns, wIIcI sLopped noL onIy In WuIdsIuL buL Len mInuLes IuLer In
PIeIIIerIng. Two boxes oI books und some oddmenLs Iud been IeIL Lo IoIIow by IreIgIL LruIn. ¡L
wus neur LIe end oI OcLober, LIe weuLIer, sLIII dry, wus uIreudy ruw und gIoomy. TIe Ieuves were
IuIIIng. TIe son oI LIe Iouse oI ScIweIgesLIII, Gereon, LIe sume wIo Iud InLroduced LIe new
munure-spreuder, u young Iurmer ruLIer dIsobIIgIng und curL buL obvIousIy knowIng IIs
busIness, uwuILed LIe guesL uL LIe IILLIe sLuLIon, on LIe box oI u Lrup wILI u IIgI Irume und sLIII
sprIngs. WIIIe LIe Iugguge wus puL In, Ie IeL LIe LIong oI IIs wIIp pIuy ucross LIe bucks oI LIe
Leum oI sLurdy brown Iorses. NoL muny words were excIunged on LIe drIve. AdrIun Iud seen
Irom LIe LruIn LIe RoImbüIeI wILI ILs crown oI Lrees, LIe grey mIrror oI LIe KIummer; now IIs
eyes resLed on LIese sIgILs Irom cIose uL Iund. Soon LIe cIoIsLer-buroque oI LIe ScIweIgesLIII
Iouse cume In sIgIL; In LIe open squure oI LIe courLyurd LIe veIIcIe rounded LIe oId eIm In LIe
mIddIe, wIose Ieuves were now mosLIy IyIng on LIe bencI beneuLI.
¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII sLood under LIe guLewuy wILI LIe eccIesIusLIcuI couL oI urms; besIde Ier wus
Ier duugILer CIemenLIne, u brown-eyed counLry gIrI In modesL peusunL dress. TIeIr words oI
greeLIng were drowned In LIe yuppIng oI LIe yurd dog, wIo In greuL excILemenL sLepped InLo IIs
Iood busIn und uImosL drugged IIs sLruw-sLrewn kenneI Irom ILs moorIngs. ¡L wus no use Ior
moLIer und duugILer, und even LIe sLubIe-gIrI, WuILpurgIs, IeIpIng Lo Iund down LIe Iugguge,
Ier bure IeeL cuked wILI dung, Lo sIouL uL IIm: "KuscIperI, IusI your noIse, be quIeL!" TIe dog
ruved on und AdrIun, uILer Ie Iud wuLcIed uwIIIe smIIIng, wenL up Lo IIm. "Suso, Suso!" suId Ie,
noL ruIsIng IIs voIce, In u cerLuIn surprIsed und udmonIsIIng Lone, und beIoId, probubIy Irom
LIe InIIuence oI LIe sooLIIng monoLone, LIe unImuI becume uImosL ImmedIuLeIy quIeL und
uIIowed LIe mugIcIun Lo puL ouL u Iund und sLroke IIs Ieud, scurred wILI oId bILes, wIIIe LIe
creuLure Iooked up uL IIm wILI deepIy serIous yeIIow eyes.
"Couruge you've goL! My respecLs," suId ¡ruu EIse wIen AdrIun cume buck Lo LIe guLe. "MosL
IoIks ure IeurL oI LIe beusL und wIen Ie Lukes on, IIke now, one don'L bIume LIem, LIe young
scIooImusLer Irom LIe vIIIuge wIo used Lo come Lo LIe cIIIdren, oI, my, Ie wus u poor body, Ie
suId every LIme: 'TIuL dog, ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, ¡'m jusL IeurL oI IIm.' "
"Yes, yes," IuugIed AdrIun, noddIng, und LIey wenL InLo LIe Iouse, InLo LIe pIpe-Lobucco uIr,
und up Lo LIe upper sLorey, uIong LIe wIILe, dump-smeIIIng wuIIs, wIere LIe goodwIIe sIowed
IIm IIs bedroom wILI LIe guy cIoLIes-press und LIe IIgI-pIIed wIILe bed. TIey Iud udded
someLIIng exLru, u green recIInIng-cIuIr wILI u knILLed rug Ior LIe IeeL on LIe pIne IIoor. Gereon
und WuILpurgIs brougIL up LIe bugs.
Here und on LIe wuy downsLuIrs LIey LuIked ubouL urrungemenLs Ior LIe guesL's comIorL,
conLInuIng In LIe AbboL's room, LIuL cIurucLerIsLIcuIIy puLrIurcIuI cIumber, oI wIIcI AdrIun Iud
Iong sInce menLuIIy Luken possessIon: ubouL LIe Iurge jug oI IoL wuLer In LIe mornIng, LIe sLrong
eurIy-mornIng coIIee, LIe LImes Ior meuIs; AdrIun wus noL Lo Luke LIem wILI LIe IumIIy, LIey Iud
noL expecLed LIuL, LIeIr Iours beIng Loo eurIy Ior IIm. AL IuII pusL one und uL eIgIL Ie wus Lo be
served, preIerubIy In LIe bIg IronL room (LIe peusunL suIon wILI LIe NIke und LIe squure pIuno),
¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII LIougIL. ¡L wus uIwuys uL IIs dIsposuI. And sIe promIsed IIm IIgIL dIeL, mIIk,
eggs, LousL, vegeLubIe soup, u good red beeIsLeuk wILI spInucI uL mIdduy, und uILerwurds u
medIum-sIzed omeIeL, wILI uppIe suuce - In sIorL, LIIngs LIuL were nourIsIIng und ugreeubIe Lo
u deIIcuLe sLomucI IIke IIs.
"TIe sLummIck, my Iord, IL uIn'L mosLIy LIe sLummIck uL uII, eI, IL's LIe Ieud, LIe pernIckeLy,
oversLruIned Ieud, IL works on LIe sLummIck, even wIen IL uIn'L noLIIng wrong wILI IL, IIke LIe
wuy IL Is wILI seusIckness und sIck IeuducIe uIu, Ie someLImes Ius IL preLLy bud?" SIe LIougIL
so uIreudy, Irom IIs IookIng so Iurd uL LIe bIInds und curLuIns In LIe bedroom; durkness, IyIng In
LIe durk, nIgIL, bIuck, especIuIIy no IIgIL In LIe eyes, LIuL wus LIe rIgIL LIIng, us Iong us LIe
mIsery wenL on, und very sLrong Leu, reuI sour wILI Iemon. ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII wus noL
unucquuInLed wILI mIgruIne - LIuL Is, sIe Iud never Iud IL IerseII buL Ier MuxI Iud suIIered
Irom IL perIodIcuIIy wIen Ie wus younger, In LIme IL Iud gone uwuy. SIe wouId Ieur no upoIogIes
Irom LIe guesL on LIe score oI IIs InIIrmILy, or IIs IuvIng smuggIed u cIronIc puLIenL InLo LIe
Iouse, so Lo speuk; sIe suId onIy: "OI, geL uIong wILI you!" SomeLIIng oI LIe sorL, sIe LIougIL,
one wouId Iuve guessed, Ior wIen unyone IIke IIm Irom over LIere wIere cuILure Is goIng on
cume ouL Lo PIeIIIerIng IIke LIuL, Ie wouId Iuve IIs reusons Ior IL, und obvIousIy IL wus u cuse LIuL
Iud u cIuIm on LIe undersLundIng, Herr ¡everküIn! BuL Ie'd come Lo LIe rIgIL uddress Ior
undersLundIng, II noL Ior cuILure, eI? - und so on und so on, good womun LIuL sIe wus.
BeLween Ier und AdrIun, us LIey sLood or wuIked ubouL, urrungemenLs were mude, wIIcI,
surprIsIngIy perIups Lo boLI oI LIem, were Lo reguIuLe IIs ouLwurd exIsLence Ior nIneLeen yeurs.
TIe vIIIuge curpenLer wus cuIIed In Lo meusure LIe spuce besIde LIe doors In LIe AbboL's room Ior
sIeIves Lo IoId AdrIun's books, noL IIgIer LIun LIe oId puneIIIng under LIe IeuLIer IungIngs;
uIso LIe cIundeIIer wILI LIe sLumps oI wux cundIes wus wIred Ior eIecLrIcILy. VurIous oLIer
cIunges cume ubouL LIrougI LIme, In LIe room LIuL wus desLIned Lo see LIe bIrLI oI so muny
musLerpIeces Lo LIIs duy IurgeIy wILIIeId Irom pubIIc knowIedge und udmIruLIon. A curpeL
uImosL coverIng LIe IIoor, onIy Loo necessury In wInLer, soon IId LIe worn bourds; und Lo LIe
corner bencI, LIe onIy seuL In LIe room besIdes LIe SuvonuroIu cIuIr In IronL oI LIe work-LubIe,
LIere wus udded uILer u Iew duys wILIouL uny IusLIdIous regurd Ior sLyIe, wIIcI wus noL In
AdrIun's IIne, u very deep reudIng- und eusy-cIuIr covered wILI grey veIveL, Irom BernIeImer's In
MunIcI, u commendubIe pIece, wIIcI LogeLIer wILI ILs sepuruLe sLooI, u LuboureL wILI u cusIIon,
deserved LIe nume oI cIuIse-Iongue; IL Look LIe pIuce oI u dIvun, und dId ILs owner uImosL Lwo
decudes oI servIce.
TIe purcIuses - LIe curpeL und cIuIr Irom LIe IurnIsIIng sIop In LIe MuxImIIIunspIuLz - ¡
menLIon purLIy wILI LIe uIm oI mukIng IL cIeur LIuL LIere wus convenIenL opporLunILy Ior
communIcuLIon wILI LIe cILy by numerous LruIns, some oI LIem IusL ones wIIcI Look Iess LIun un
Iour. So LIuL AdrIun dId noL, us ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII's wuy oI LuIkIng wouId Ieud one Lo LIInk, bury
IImseII In soIILude by seLLIIng In PIeIIIerIng, cuL oII Irom "cuILure." Even wIen Ie vIsILed un
evenIng enLerLuInmenL, un ucudemy concerL or LIe ZupIensLosser orcIesLru, un operu
perIormunce or un evenIng compuny - und LIuL Loo dId Iuppen - LIere wus un eIeven-o'cIock
LruIn Ior IIm Lo LruveI Iome In. OI course Ie couId noL LIen counL on beIng IeLcIed Irom LIe
sLuLIon wILI LIe ScIweIgesLIII curL; In sucI cuses Ie urrunged beIoreIund wILI u WuIdsIuL IIvery,
or even, Lo IIs greuL suLIsIucLIon, reLurned on IooL, on cIeur wInLer nIgILs, by LIe roud uIong LIe
pond Lo LIe sIeepIng courLyurd oI LIe ScIweIgesLIII Iouse. On LIese occusIons Ie guve u sIgn Lo
KuscIperI-Suso, uL LIIs Iour Iree oI IIs cIuIn, LIuL Ie mIgIL noL rouse LIe Iouse. He dId LIIs wILI
u IILLIe meLuI pIpe Luned by meuns oI u screw, wIose IIgIer noLes were oI sucI un exLreme
vIbruLIon LIuL LIe Iumun eur couId scurceIy Ieur LIem Irom cIose by. On LIe oLIer Iund LIey Iud
u very sLrong eIIecL und uL u surprIsIng dIsLunce on LIe quILe dIIIerenLIy consLILuLed eur-drum oI
LIe dog, und KuscIperI kepL mum us u mouse wIen LIe mysLerIous sound, Ieurd by no one eIse,
cume Lo IIm LIrougI LIe nIgIL.
¡L wus curIosILy, buL IL wus uIso u power exerLed by my IrIend, wIose cooI, reserved person, sIy
despILe IIs IuugILIness, wus Iur Irom unuLLrucLIve, LIuL brougIL peopIe ouL Lo vIsIL IIm In IIs re-
LreuL. ¡ wIII gIve ScIIIdknupp LIe precedence wIIcI Ie dId ucLuuIIy possess: oI course Ie wus LIe
IIrsL Lo come, Lo see Iow AdrIun dId In LIe pIuce LIey Iud Iound ouL LogeLIer. AILer LIuL, espe-
cIuIIy In LIe summer-LIme, Ie oILen spenL LIe week-end In PIeIIIerIng. ZInk und SpengIer cume
on LIeIr bIcycIes, Ior AdrIun, on IIs sIoppIng Lours In Lown, Iud puId IIs respecLs Lo LIe Roddes
In RumbergsLrusse und LIe Lwo puInLers Iud Ieurd Irom LIe duugILers oI AdrIun's reLurn und IIs
presenL uddress. ProbubIy SpengIer's wus LIe InILIuLIve In LIe vIsIL, Ior ZInk, more gIILed und
ucLIve us u puInLer LIun LIe oLIer, buL mucI Iess IIne us u Iumun beIng, Iud no InsLIncLIve
sympuLIy Ior AdrIun und wus cerLuInIy onIy presenL us SpengIer's InsepurubIe: IIuLLerIng, In LIe
AusLrIun munner, wILI kIss-LIe-Iund und dIsIngenuous "MurveIIous, murveIIous!" uL everyLIIng
Ie suw, wIIIe uL boLLom unIrIendIy. HIs cIownIsIness, LIe IurcIcuI eIIecLs Ie couId produce wILI
IIs Iong nose und LIe cIose-IyIng eyes wIIcI Iud sucI un ubsurdIy IypnoLIc eIIecL on women,
mude no pIuy wILI AdrIun, Iowever gruLeIuI LIe IuLLer uIwuys wus Ior beIng umused. VunILy
deLrucLs Irom wIL; LIe knuvIsI ZInk Iud u LIresome munIu oI uLLendIng Lo every word, Lo see
wIeLIer Ie couId noL geL u double entendre ouL oI IL, und LIIs, us Ie probubIy suw, dId noL
precIseIy encIunL AdrIun.
SpengIer, bIInkIng, u dImpIe In IIs cIeek, IuugIed, or bIeuLed, IeurLIIy uL sucI IILLIe
conLreLemps. TIe sexuuI InLeresLed IIm In u IILerury sense, sex und esprIL IyIng wILI IIm very
cIose LogeLIer - wIIcI In ILseII Is noL so Iur wrong. HIs cuILure - we know Indeed, IIs IeeIIng Ior
wIuL wus subLIe, wILLy, dIscrImInuLIng - wus Iounded on IIs uccIdenLuI und unIuppy reIuLIon Lo
LIe spIere oI sex, LIe pIysIcuI IIxuLIon on IL, wIIcI wus sIeer bud Iuck, und noL IurLIer
cIurucLerIsLIc oI IIs LemperumenL or IIs sexuuIILy. He smIIed und pruLLIed, In LIe Iunguuge oI
LIuL now vunIsIed cuILuruI und uesLIeLIc epocI, ubouL evenLs In LIe worId oI urLIsLs und bIb-
IIopIIIes; reLuIIed MunIcI gossIp und dweIL very droIIy on u sLory oI Iow LIe Grund Duke oI
WeImur und LIe drumuLIc poeL RIcIurd Voss, LruveIIIng LogeLIer In LIe AbruzzI, were seL upon by
genuIne bundILs - oI course enguged by Voss. To AdrIun, SpengIer mude cIever poIILenesses
ubouL LIe BrenLuno song cycIe, wIIcI Ie Iud bougIL und sLudIed uL LIe pIuno. He deIIvered IIm-
seII uL LIuL LIme oI LIe remurk LIuL occupuLIon wILI LIese songs ended by spoIIIng one, quILe
deIInILeIy und uImosL dungerousIy. AILerwurds one couId IurdIy IInd pIeusure In unyLIIng In LIuL
IIeId. SuId oLIer quILe good LIIngs ubouL beIng spoIIed, oI wIIcI LIe needy urLIsL IImseII wus In
LIe greuLesL dunger, IL seemed: IL mIgIL be dIsusLrous Ior IIm. ¡or wILI every IInIsIed work Ie
mude IIIe Iurder Ior IImseII, und In LIe end ImpossIbIe. SpoIIL by LIe exLruordInury, IIs LusLe
ruIned Ior unyLIIng eIse, Ie musL uL IusL deLerIoruLe LIrougI despuIr oI execuLIng LIe ImpossIbIe.
TIe probIem Ior LIe IIgIIy gIILed urLIsL wus Iow, despILe IIs uIwuys IncreusIng IusLIdIousness, IIs
spreudIng dIsgusL, Ie couId sLIII keep wILIIn LIe IImILs oI LIe possIbIe.
TIus LIe wILLy SpengIer - soIeIy on LIe busIs oI IIs specIIIc IIxuLIon, us IIs bIInkIng und
bIeuLIng sIowed. TIe nexL guesLs were JeuneLLe ScIeurI und RudI ScIwerdLIeger, wIo cume Lo
Leu Lo see Iow AdrIun dId.
JeuneLLe und ScIwerdLIeger someLImes pIuyed LogeLIer, Ior LIe guesLs oI oId Mme ScIeurI us
weII us prIvuLeIy, und LIey Iud pIunned LIe LrIp Lo PIeIIIerIng, und RudI Iud done LIe LeIepIon-
Ing. WIeLIer Ie proposed IL or wIeLIer IL wus JeuneLLe ¡ do noL know. TIey urgued over IL In
AdrIun's presence und eucI puL on LIe oLIer LIe merIL oI LIe uLLenLIon LIey puId IIm. JeuneLLe's
droII ImpuIsIveness speuks Ior Ier InILIuLIve; on LIe oLIer Iund, IL wus very consIsLenL wILI
RudI's umuzIng IumIIIurILy. He seemed Lo be oI opInIon LIuL Lwo yeurs ugo Ie Iud been per du
wILI AdrIun, wIereus uILer uII LIuL Iud onIy been In curnIvuI LIme, und even LIen enLIreIy on
RudI's sIde. Now Ie bIILIeIy Look IL up uguIn und desIsLed, wILI enLIre unconcern, onIy wIen
AdrIun Ior LIe second or LIIrd LIme reIused Lo respond. TIe unconceuIed merrImenL oI ¡ruuIeIn
ScIeurI uL LIIs repuIse oI IIs devoLIon moved IIm noL uL uII. No Lruce oI conIusIon sIowed In IIs
bIue eyes, wIIcI couId burrow wILI sucI peneLruLIng nuIveLe InLo LIe eyes oI unyone wIo wus
mukIng cIever, Ieurned, or cuILured remurks. Even Loduy ¡ LIInk oI ScIwerdLIeger und usk myseII
wIeLIer Ie ucLuuIIy undersLood Iow soIILury AdrIun wus, LIus Iow needy und exposed Lo
LempLuLIon; wIeLIer Ie wunLed Lo Lry IIs cIurms - Lo puL IL crudeIy, Lo geL round IIm. Beyond u
doubL Ie wus born Ior conquesL; buL ¡ sIouId be uIruId oI doIng IIm wrong were ¡ Lo see IIm
Irom LIIs sIde uIone. He wus uIso u good IeIIow und un urLIsL, und LIe IucL LIuL AdrIun und Ie
were IuLer ucLuuIIy per du und cuIIed eucI oLIer by LIeIr IIrsL numes ¡ sIouId IIke noL Lo regurd us
u cIeup LrIumpI oI ScIwerdLIeger's munIu Ior pIeusIng peopIe, buL ruLIer Lo reIer IL Lo IIs
IonesLIy recognIzIng LIe vuIue oI LIIs exLruordInury Iumun beIng. ¡ sIouId IIke Lo LIInk Ie wus
LruIy druwn Lo AdrIun, und LIuL IIs own IeeIIng wus LIe source oI LIe unerrIng und sLuggerIng
seII-conIIdence wIIcI IInuIIy mude conquesL oI coIdness und meIuncIoIy. A IuLuI LrIumpI! BuL ¡
Iuve IuIIen InLo my oId, bud IubIL und goL uIeud oI my sLory.
¡n Ier broud-brImmed IuL, wILI u LIIn veII sLreLcIed ucross Ier nose, JeuneLLe ScIeurI pIuyed
MozurL on LIe squure pIuno In LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs' peusunL "bIg room," und RudI ScIwerdLIeger
wIIsLIed wILI sucI urLIsLry LIuL one IuugIed Ior sIeer pIeusure. ¡ Ieurd IIm IuLer uL LIe Roddes'
und ScIIugInIuuIens', und goL IIm Lo LeII me Iow, us quILe u IILLIe Iud, beIore Ie Iud vIoIIn
Iessons, Ie Iud begun Lo deveIop LIIs LecInIque und never sLopped wIIsLIIng LIe musIc Ie Ieurd,
or prucLIsIng wIuL Ie Ieurned. HIs perIormunce wus brIIIIunL, proIessIonuI, IIL Ior uny cubureL,
uImosL more ImpressIve LIun IIs vIoIIn-pIuyIng; Ie musL Iuve been orgunIcuIIy jusL rIgIL Ior IL.
TIe cunLIIenu wus wonderIuIIy pIeusIng, more IIke u vIoIIn LIun u IIuLe, LIe pIrusIng musLerIy,
LIe IILLIe noLes, sLuccuLo or IeguLo, comIng ouL wILI deIIcIous precIsIon, never or uImosL never
IuILerIng. ¡n sIorL, IL wus reuIIy cupILuI, und noL LIe IeusL dIverLIng LIIng ubouL IL wus LIe
combInuLIon oI wIIsLIIng 'prenLIce und serIous urLIsL wIIcI IL presenLed. One InvoIunLurIIy
smIIed us one uppIuuded; ScIwerdLIeger IImseII IuugIed IIke u boy, wrIggIIng IIs sIouIder In IIs
juckeL und mukIng IIs IILLIe grImuce wILI LIe corner oI IIs mouLI.
TIese, LIen, were AdrIun's IIrsL guesLs In PIeIIIerIng. And soon ¡ cume myseII und on IIne
Sunduys sLroIIed uL IIs sIde round LIe pond und up LIe RoImbüIeI. OnIy LIuL one wInLer, uILer
IIs reLurn Irom ¡LuIy, dId ¡ IIve uL uny dIsLunce Irom IIm, Ior uL EusLer 1q1¸ ¡ Iud goL my posILIon
uL LIe ¡reIsIng ucudemy, our IumIIy's CuLIoIIc connecLIon beIng useIuI In LIIs respecL. ¡ IeIL
KuIser-suscIern und seLLIed wILI wIIe und cIIId uL LIe edge oI LIe ¡sur, In LIIs dIgnIIIed cILy, seuL
oI u bIsIoprIc Ior Iundreds oI yeurs, wIere wILI LIe excepLIon oI some monLIs durIng LIe wur ¡
Iuve pussed my own IIIe In convenIenL LoucI wILI LIe cupILuI und uIso wILI my IrIend, und
sIured, In Iove und soIIcILude, LIe sLresses und LIe Lrugedy oI IIs.

CHAPTIR XXVII
BussoonIsL GrIepenkerI Iud done u good und gruLeIuI pIece oI work on LIe score oI Lote's
Lcbour's Lost. JusL ubouL LIe IIrsL words AdrIun suId Lo me wIen we meL concerned LIe uII buL
IIuwIess copy und IIs joy over IL. He uIso sIowed me u IeLLer LIuL LIe mun Iud wrILLen Lo IIm In
LIe mIdsL oI IIs exucLIng Iubours, wIereIn Ie expressed wILI InLeIIIgence u sorL oI unxIous
enLIusIusm Ior LIe objecL oI IIs puIns. He couId noL, so Ie LoId ILs uuLIor, express Iow IL Look IIs
breuLI uwuy wILI ILs boIdness, LIe noveILy oI ILs Ideus. NoL enougI couId Ie udmIre LIe IIne
subLIeLy oI LIe workmunsIIp, LIe versuLIIe rIyLIms, LIe LecInIque oI InsLrumenLuLIon, by wIIcI
un oILen consIderubIe compIIcuLIon oI purLs wus mude perIecLIy cIeur; ubove uII, LIe rIcI IunLusy
oI LIe composILIon, sIowIng ILseII In LIe munIIoId vurIuLIons oI u gIven LIeme. He InsLunced LIe
beuuLIIuI und wILIuI IuII-Iumorous musIc LIuL beIongs Lo LIe IIgure oI RosuIIne, or ruLIer
expresses BIron's desperuLe IeeIIng Ior Ier, In LIe mIddIe purL oI LIe LrIpurLILe bourree In LIe IusL
ucL, LIIs wILLy revIvuI oI LIe oId ¡rencI dunce; IL musL, Ie suId, be cIurucLerIzed us brIIIIunL und
deIL In LIe IIgIesL sense oI LIe words. He udded LIuL LIIs bourree wus noL u IILLIe cIurucLerIsLIc oI
LIe demode urcIuIc eIemenL oI socIuI convenLIonuIILy wIIcI so cIurmIngIy buL uIso so
cIuIIengIngIy conLrusLed wILI LIe "modern," LIe Iree und more LIun Iree, LIe rebeI purLs, dIs-
duInIng LonuI connecLIon, oI LIe work. He Ieured Indeed LIuL LIese purLs oI LIe score, In uII LIeIr
unIumIIIurILy und rebeIIIous Ieresy, wouId be beLLer receIved LIun LIe sLrIcL und LrudILIonuI. Here
IL oILen umounLed Lo u rIgIdILy, u more ucudemIc LIun urLIsLIc specuIuLIon In noLes, u mosuIc
scurceIy uny Ionger eIIecLIve musIcuIIy, seemIng ruLIer more Lo be reud LIun Lo be Ieurd - und
so on.
We IuugIed.
"WIen ¡ Ieur oI IeurIng!" suId AdrIun. "¡n my vIew IL Is quILe enougI II someLIIng Ius been
Ieurd once, ¡ meun wIen LIe urLIsL LIougIL IL ouL."
AILer u wIIIe Ie udded: "As LIougI peopIe ever Ieurd wIuL Iud been Ieurd LIen! ComposIng
meuns Lo commIssIon LIe ZupIensLosser orcIesLru Lo execuLe un ungeIIc cIorus. And unyIow ¡
consIder ungeIIc cIoruses Lo be IIgIIy specuIuLIve."
¡or my purL ¡ LIougIL GrIepenkerI wus wrong In IIs sIurp dIsLIncLIon beLween urcIuIc und
modern eIemenLs In LIe work. "TIey bIend InLo und InLerpeneLruLe," ¡ suId, und Ie uccepLed LIe
sLuLemenL buL sIowed IILLIe IncIInuLIon Lo go InLo wIuL wus IIxed und IInIsIed; preIerrIng
uppurenLIy Lo puL IL beIInd IIm us noL IurLIer InLeresLIng. SpecuIuLIons ubouL wIuL Lo do wILI IL,
wIere Lo send IL, Lo wIom Lo sIow IL, Ie IeIL Lo me. TIuL WendeII KreLscI-mur sIouId Iuve IL Lo
reud wus LIe ImporLunL LIIng Lo IIm. He senL IL Lo ¡ubeck, wIere LIe sLuLLerer sLIII wus, und LIe
IuLLer ucLuuIIy produced IL LIere, In u Germun versIon, u yeur IuLer, uILer wur Iud broken ouL - ¡
wus noL presenL - wILI LIe resuIL LIuL durIng LIe perIormunce Lwo LIIrds oI LIe uudIence IeIL LIe
LIeuLre. JusL us IL Is supposed Lo Iuve Iuppened sIx yeurs beIore uL LIe MunIcI premIere oI
Debussy's Pellecs et Meliscnde. TIere were onIy Lwo more perIormunces oI AdrIun's operu, und
IL wus noL, Ior LIe LIme, Lo peneLruLe beyond LIe Hunsu cILy on LIe Truve. TIe IocuI crILIcs ugreed
Lo u mun wILI LIe judgmenL oI LIe Iuy uudIence und jeered uL LIe "decImuLIng" musIc wIIcI Herr
KreLscImur Iud Luken up wILI. OnIy In LIe Lubecl ßorsenlurier un oId musIc-proIessor numed
¡mmerLIuI - doubLIess deud Iong sInce - spoke oI un error oI jusLIce wIIcI LIme wouId puL
rIgnL, und decIured In crubbed, oId-IusIIoned Iunguuge LIuL LIe operu wus u work oI LIe IuLure,
IuII oI proIound musIc, LIuL LIe wrILer wus oI course u mocker buL u "god-wILLed mun." TIIs
sLrIkIng expressIon, wIIcI ¡ Iud never beIore Ieurd or reud, nor ever sInce, mude u pecuIIur
ImpressIon on me. And us ¡ Iuve never IorgoLLen IL or LIe knowIedgeubIe oId codger wIo coIned
IL, ¡ LIInk IL musL be counLed Lo IIs Ionour by LIe posLerILy Ie Invoked us wILness uguInsL IIs
spIneIess und LorpId IeIIow-crILIcs.
AL LIe LIme wIen ¡ moved Lo ¡reIsIng, AdrIun wus busy wILI LIe composILIon oI some songs
und IIeder, Germun und IoreIgn, or ruLIer, EngIIsI. ¡n LIe IIrsL pIuce Ie Iud gone buck Lo WIIIIum
BIuke und seL Lo musIc u very sLrunge poem oI LIIs IuvourILe uuLIor oI IIs. "SIIenL, SIIenL NIgIL,"
In Iour sLunzus oI LIree IInes eucI, LIe IusL sLunzu oI wIIcI dIsmuyIngIy enougI runs:
BuL un IonesL joy
Does ILseII desLroy
¡or u IurIoL coy.
TIese durkIy sIockIng verses LIe composer Iud seL Lo very sImpIe IurmonIes, wIIcI In
reIuLIon Lo LIe Lone-Iunguuge oI LIe wIoIe Iud u "IuIser," more IeurL-renL, uncunny eIIecL LIun
LIe mosL durIng IurmonIc LensIons, und mude one ucLuuIIy experIence LIe common cIord
growIng monsLrous. "SIIenL, SIIenL NIgIL" Is urrunged Ior pIuno und voIce. He seL Lwo poems by
KeuLs, "Ode Lo u NIgILInguIe" und LIe sIorLer "Ode on MeIuncIoIy" wILI u sLrIng-quurLeL
uccompunImenL, wIIcI Indeed IeIL Iur beIInd und beIow IL LIe LrudILIonuI concepLIon oI un
uccompunImenL. ¡or In IucL IL wus un exLremeIy urLIIIcIuI Iorm oI vurIuLIon In wIIcI no noLe oI
LIe sIngIng voIce und LIe Iour InsLrumenLs wus unLIe-muLIc. TIere reIgns Iere wILIouL
InLerrupLIon LIe cIosesL reIuLIon beLween LIe purLs so LIuL LIe reIuLIon Is noL LIuL oI meIody und
uccompunImenL, buL In uII sLrIcLness LIuL oI consLunLIy uILernuLIng prImury und secondury purLs.
TIey ure gIorIous pIeces - und uImosL unsung up LIII Loduy, owIng Lo LIe Iunguuge LIey ure In.
Odd enougI Lo muke me smIIe wus LIe expressIveness wILI wIIcI LIe composer enIurges In LIe
"NIgILInguIe" on LIe demund Ior souLIern sweeLness oI IIIe wIIcI LIe song oI LIe "ImmorLuI
BIrd" rouses In LIe souI oI LIe poeL. ¡or, uILer uII, AdrIun In ¡LuIy Iud never dIspIuyed mucI
gruLILude or enLIusIusm ubouL LIe consoIuLIons oI u sunny worId, wIIcI muke one IorgeL "LIe
weurIness, LIe Iever, und LIe IreL Here, wIere men sIL und Ieur eucI oLIer groun." MusIcuIIy LIe
mosL prIceIess, LIe mosL perIecL, beyond doubL, Is LIe resoIuLIon und dIssIpuLIon oI LIe vIsIon uL
LIe end, LIe
AdIeu! LIe Iuncy cunnoL cIeuL so weII As sIe Is Iumed Lo do, deceIvIng eII.
AdIeu! udIeu! LIy pIuInLIve unLIem Iudes
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
¡Ied Is LIuL musIc: - do ¡ wuke or sIeep?
¡ cun weII undersLund Iow LIe beuuLy oI LIe poems, IIke LIuL oI un unLIque vuse, cIuIIenged LIe
musIc Lo crown LIem; noL Lo muke LIem compIeLer, Ior LIey ure compIeLe, buL Lo urLIcuIuLe more
sLrongIy und Lo LIrow InLo reIIeI LIeIr proud und meIuncIoIy cIurm; Lo Iend more IusLIngness Lo
LIe prIceIess momenL oI LIeIr every deLuII LIun Is grunLed Lo LIe breuLIed-ouL words; Lo sucI
momenLs oI condensed Imugery us In LIe LIIrd sLunzu oI LIe "Ode on MeIuncIoIy," LIe Imuge oI
LIe "sovrun sIrIne" wIIcI veIIed MeIuncIoIy Ius In LIe LempIe oI deIIgIL, LIougI seen oI none
suve IIm wIose sLrenuous Longue cun bursL Joy's grupe uguInsL IIs puIuLe IIne - uII LIuL Is so
brIIIIunL LIuL IL scurceIy Ieuves LIe musIc unyLIIng Lo suy. ¡L muy be LIuL IL cun onIy Injure IL,
unIess by sImpIy speukIng wILI IL, und so IIngerIng IL ouL. ¡ Iuve oILen Ieurd suy LIuL u poem
musL noL be Loo good Lo IurnIsI u good IIed. MusIc Is uL Iome In LIe Lusk oI gIIdIng LIe medIocre.
JusL us reuI vIrLuosILy In un ucLor sIows up more brIIIIunLIy In u poor pIece. BuL AdrIun's reIuLIon
Lo urL wus Loo proud und crILIcuI Ior IIm Lo wIsI Lo IeL IIs IIgIL sIIne In durkness. He Iud Lo Iook
very IIgI, InLeIIecLuuIIy, wIere Ie wus Lo IeeI IImseII cuIIed us musIcIun, und so LIe Germun
poem Lo wIIcI Ie guve IImseII producLIveIy Is uIso oI LIe IIgIesL runk II wILIouL LIe InLeIIecLuuI
dIsLIncLIon oI LIe KeuLs IyrIcs. ¡n pIuce oI IILerury exquIsILeness we Iuve someLIIng more
monumenLuI, LIe IIgI-pILcIed, soundIng puLIos oI LIe reIIgIous Iymn, wIIcI wILI ILs
InvocuLIons und depIcLIons oI mujesLy und mIIdness yIeIds even more Lo LIe musIc, Is more IuILI-
IuIIy compIIunL wILI IL LIun ure LIose BrILIsI Imuges wILI LIeIr Greek nobIIILy.
¡L wus KIopsLock's Sprinç Iestitcl, LIe Iumous song oI LIe "Drop Lo LIe BuckeL," wIIcI
¡everküIn, wILI buL Iew LexLuuI ubbrevIuLIons, Iud composed Ior burILone, orgun, und sLrIng or-
cIesLru - u LIrIIIIng pIece oI work, wIIcI wus perIormed, LIrougI LIe eIIorLs oI some courugeous
conducLors IrIendIy Lo LIe new musIc, durIng LIe IIrsL WorId Wur und some yeurs uILer IL In sev-
eruI Germun musIc-cenLres und uIso In SwILzerIund. ¡L receIved LIe enLIusIusLIc upprovuI oI u
mInorILy und oI course some spILeIuI und sLupId opposILIon Loo. TIese perIormunces conLrIbuLed
very mucI Lo LIe IucL LIuL uL IuLesL In LIe LwenLIes un uuru oI esoLerIc Iume begun Lo unIoId ubouL
LIe nume oI my IrIend. BuL LIIs mucI ¡ wIII suy: deepIy us ¡ wus moved - yeL noL reuIIy surprIsed
- by LIIs ouLbursL oI reIIgIous IeeIIng, wIIcI wus LIe purer und more pIous Ior LIe resLruInL und
ubsence oI cIeup eIIecLs, no Iurp-LwungIng (LIougI LIe LexL Is ucLuuIIy u cIuIIenge Lo IL), no
drum Lo gIve buck LIe LIunder oI LIe ¡ord; Iowever mucI wenL Lo my IeurL cerLuIn beuuLIes noL
uL uII ucIIeved by Iuckneyed Lone-puInLIng: LIe mugnIIIcenL LruLIs oI LIe pueun; LIe oppressIveIy
sIow movemenL oI LIe bIuck cIoud; LIe LwIce-repeuLed LIunderIng "JeIovuI!" wIen "LIe
sIuLLered wood sLeums" (u powerIuI pussuge); LIe so new und enIIgILened concord oI LIe IIgI
regIsLer oI LIe orgun wILI LIe sLrIngs uL LIe end, wIen LIe DeILy comes, no Ionger In sLorm, buL In
IusIed murmurIngs und beneuLI IL "urcIes LIe bow oI peuce"; yeL despILe uII LIese ¡ Iuve never
undersLood LIe work In ILs reuI spIrILuuI sense, ILs Inwurd necessILy, ILs purpose, InIormed by
Ieur, oI seekIng gruce In pruIse. DId ¡ uL LIuL LIme know LIe documenL, wIIcI my reuders now
know Loo, LIe record oI LIe "dIuIogue" In LIe sLone-IIoored suIu? OnIy condILIonuIIy couId ¡ Iuve
numed myseII beIore LIuL "u purLner In your sorrow's mysLerIes," us IL suys In LIe "Ode on
MeIuncIoIy"; onIy wILI LIe rIgIL oI u generuI concern sInce our boyIood duys Ior IIs souI's
IeuILI; buL noL LIrougI ucLuuI knowIedge, us IL LIen sLood. OnIy IuLer dId ¡ Ieurn Lo undersLund
LIe composILIon oI LIe Sprinç Iestitcl us wIuL IL wus: u pIeu Lo God, un uLonemenL Ior sIn, u
work oI cttritio cordis, composed, us ¡ reuIIzed wILI sIudders, under LIe LIreuL oI LIuL vIsILor
InsIsLIng LIuL Ie wus reuIIy vIsIbIe.
BuL In sLIII unoLIer sense dId ¡ IuII Lo undersLund LIe personuI und InLeIIecLuuI buckground oI
LIIs producLIon bused on KIop-sLock's poem. ¡or ¡ dId noL, us ¡ sIouId Iuve done, connecL IL wILI
conversuLIons ¡ Iud wILI IIm uL LIIs LIme, or ruLIer Ie Iud wILI me, wIen Ie guve me, quILe
cIrcumsLunLIuIIy, wILI greuL unImuLIon, uccounLs oI sLudIes und reseurcIes In IIeIds very remoLe
Irom my curIosILy or my scIenLIIIc compreIensIon: LIrIIIIng enrIcImenLs, LIuL Is, oI IIs
knowIedge oI nuLure und LIe cosmos. And now Ie sLrongIy remInded me oI LIe eIder ¡everküIn's
musIng munIu Ior "specuIuLIng LIe eIemenLs."
¡ndeed, LIe composer oI LIIs seLLIng Ior LIe Sprinç Iestitcl dId noL conIorm Lo LIe poeL's
words LIuL Ie "wouId noL IIIng IImseII In LIe oceun oI LIe worIds"; LIuL onIy ubouL LIe drop In
LIe buckeL, ubouL LIe eurLI, wouId Ie Iover und udore. ¡or AdrIun dId IIIng IImseII InLo LIe
Immense, wIIcI usLro-pIysIcuI scIence seeks Lo meusure, onIy Lo urrIve uL meusures, IIgures,
orders oI greuLness wILI wIIcI LIe Iumun spIrIL Ius no Ionger uny reIuLIon, und wIIcI Iose
LIemseIves In LIe LIeoreLIc und ubsLrucL, In LIe enLIreIy non-sensory, noL Lo suy non-sensIcuI.
Moreover ¡ wIII noL IorgeL LIuL IL uII begun wILI u dweIIIng on LIe "drop," wIIcI does noL III
deserve LIIs nume, us IL consIsLs muInIy oI wuLer, LIe wuLer oI LIe oceuns, wIIcI on LIe occusIon
oI LIe creuLIon "uIso run ouL Irom LIe Iund oI LIe AImIgILy." On IL, uL IIrsL, we dweIL, und ILs durk
secreLs; Ior LIe wonders oI LIe depLIs oI LIe seu, LIe exLruvugunL IIvIng LIIngs down LIere wIere
no sun's ruy peneLruLes, were LIe IIrsL muLLers oI wIIcI AdrIun LoId me, und Indeed In sucI u
sLrunge und sLurLIIng wuy LIuL ¡ wus boLI enLerLuIned und bewIIdered, Ior Ie spoke us LIougI Ie
Iud personuIIy seen und experIenced IL uII.
OI course Ie Iud onIy reud oI LIese LIIngs, Iud goL books ubouL LIem und Ied IIs Iuncy. BuL
wIeLIer Ie Iud so concenLruLed on LIem, Iud so musLered LIese pIcLures menLuIIy, or ouL oI
wIuLever wIIm IL wus, Ie preLended LIuL In LIe regIon oI LIe Bermudus, some nuuLIcuI mIIes eusL
oI SL. George, Ie Iud IImseII gone down InLo LIe seu und been sIown by IIs compunIon LIe
nuLuruI pIenomenu oI LIe deeps. He spoke oI LIIs compunIon us un AmerIcun scIoIur numed
Akercocke, In compuny wILI wIom Ie wus supposed Lo Iuve seL up u new deep-seu record.
¡ remember LIIs conversuLIon mosL vIvIdIy. ¡L occurred uL u week-end ¡ wus spendIng In
PIeIIIerIng, uILer LIe sImpIe meuI served us In LIe bIg pIuno-room, wIen LIe prImIy cIud young
CIemenLIne Iud kIndIy brougIL us eucI our IuII-IILre mug oI beer, und we suL smokIng ZecIbuuer
cIgurs, IIgIL und good. ¡L wus ubouL LIe Iour wIen Suso, LIe yurd dog, In oLIer words KuscIperI,
wus Ioosed Irom IIs cIuIn und uIIowed Lo runge LIe courLyurd.
TIen AdrIun emburked wILI gusLo on IIs jesL, wIIcI Ie reIuLed Lo me In LIe mosL
cIrcumsLunLIuI munner: Iow Ie und ProIessor Akercocke cIImbed InLo u buIIeL-sIuped dIvIng-beII
oI onIy one poInL Lwo meLres InsIde dIumeLer, equIpped somewIuL IIke u sLruLospIere buIIoon,
und were dropped by u crune Irom LIe compunIon sIIp InLo LIe seu, uL LIIs poInL very deep. ¡L
Iud been more LIun excILIng - uL IeusL Ior IIm, II noL Ior IIs menLor or cIcerone, Irom wIom Ie
Iud procured LIIs experIence und wIo Look LIe LIIng more cooIIy us IL wus noL IIs IIrsL descenL.
TIeIr sILuuLIon InsIde LIe Lwo-Lon IoIIow buII wus unyLIIng buL comIorLubIe, buL wus
compensuLed Ior by LIe knowIedge oI LIeIr perIecL suIeLy, ubsoIuLeIy wuLerLIgIL us IL wus, cupubIe
oI wILIsLundIng Immense pressure. ¡L wus provIded wILI u suppIy oI oxygen, u LeIepIone, IIgI-
voILuge seurcIIIgILs, und quurLz wIndows uII round. SomewIuL Ionger LIun LIree Iours In uII
LIey spenL beneuLI LIe surIuce oI LIe oceun; IL Iud pussed IIke u dreum, LIunks Lo LIe sIgILs LIey
were voucIsuIed, LIe gIImpses InLo u worId wIose soundIess, IrunLIc IoreIgnness wus expIuIned
und even jusLIIIed by ILs uLLer Iuck oI conLucL wILI our own.
Even so IL Iud been u sLrunge momenL, und IIs IeurL Iud mIssed u beuL, wIen one mornIng uL
nIne o'cIock LIe Iour-Iundred-pound urmoured door Iud cIosed beIInd LIem und LIey swuyed
uwuy Irom LIe sIIp und pIunged InLo LIe wuLer, crysLuI-cIeur uL IIrsL, IIgILed by LIe sun. BuL LIIs
IIIumInuLIon oI LIe InsIde oI our "drop In LIe buckeL" reucIed down onIy some IIILy-seven meLres.
¡or uL LIuL depLI IIgIL Ius come Lo un end; or ruLIer, u new, unknown, IrreIevunL worId Iere
begIns, InLo wIIcI AdrIun wILI IIs guIde wenL down Lo neurIy IourLeen LImes LIuL depLI, some
LIIrLy-sIx Iundred IeeL, und LIere remuIned Ior IuII un Iour, uImosL every momenL puInIuIIy
uwure LIuL u pressure oI IIve Iundred LIousund Lons resLed upon LIeIr sIeILer.
GruduuIIy, on LIe wuy down, LIe wuLer Iud Luken on u grey coIour, LIuL oI u durkness mIxed
wILI some sLIII unduunLed ruys oI IIgIL. NoL eusIIy dId LIese become dIscouruged; IL wus LIe wIII
und wuy oI LIem Lo muke IIgIL und LIey dId so Lo LIeIr uLLermosL, so LIuL LIe nexL sLuge oI IIgIL's
exIuusLIon und reLreuL ucLuuIIy Iud more coIour LIun LIe prevIous one. TIrougI LIe quurLz wIn-
dows LIe LruveIIers Iooked InLo u bIue-bIuckness Iurd Lo descrIbe; perIups besL compured Lo LIe
duII coIour oI LIe IorIzon on u cIeur LIuwIng duy. AILer LIuL, Indeed Iong beIore LIe Iund oI LIe
IndIcuLor sLood uL seven Iundred und IIILy Lo seven Iundred und sIxLy-IIve meLres, cume soIId
bIuckness uII round, LIe bIuckness oI InLersLeIIur spuce wIILIer Ior eLernILIes no weukesL sun-ruy
Iud peneLruLed, LIe eLernuIIy sLIII und vIrgIn nIgIL, wIIcI now Iud Lo puL up wILI u powerIuI
urLIIIcIuI IIgIL Irom LIe upper worId, noL oI cosmIc orIgIn, In order Lo be Iooked uL und Iooked
LIrougI.
AdrIun spoke oI LIe ILcI one IeIL Lo expose LIe unexposed, Lo Iook uL LIe unIooked-uL, LIe noL-
Lo-be und noL-expecLIng-Lo-be Iooked-uL. TIere wus u IeeIIng oI IndIscreLIon, even oI guIIL, bound
up wILI IL, noL quILe uIIuyed by LIe IeeIIng LIuL scIence musL be uIIowed Lo press jusL us Iur
Iorwurds us IL Is gIven LIe InLeIIIgence oI scIenLIsLs Lo go. TIe IncredIbIe eccenLrIcILIes, some
grIsIy, some comIc, wIIcI nuLure Iere ucIIeved, Iorms und IeuLures wIIcI seemed Lo Iuve
scurceIy uny connecLIon wILI LIe upper worId buL ruLIer Lo beIong Lo unoLIer pIuneL: LIese were
LIe producL oI secIusIon, sequesLruLIon, oI reIIunce on beIng wrupped In eLernuI durkness. TIe
urrIvuI upon Murs oI u Iumun conveyunce LruveIIIng LIrougI spuce - or ruLIer, IeL us suy, upon
LIuL IuII oI Mercury wIIcI Is eLernuIIy Lurned uwuy Irom LIe sun - couId excILe no greuLer
sensuLIon In LIe InIubILunLs - II uny - oI LIuL "neur" pIuneL, LIun LIe uppeurunce oI LIe
Akercocke dIvIng-beII down Iere. TIe muss curIosILy wILI wIIcI LIese InconceIvubIe creuLures oI
LIe depLIs Iud crowded round LIe cubIn Iud been IndescrIbubIe - und quILe IndescrIbubIe Loo
wus everyLIIng LIuL wenL wIIskIng pusL LIe wIndows In u bIur oI moLIon: IrunLIc curIcuLures oI
orgunIc IIIe; preduLory mouLIs openIng und sIuLLIng; obscene juws, LeIescope eyes; LIe puper
nuuLIIus; sIIver- und goId-IIsI wILI goggIIng eyes on Lop oI LIeIr Ieuds; IeLeropods und
pLeropods, up Lo Lwo or LIree yurds Iong. Even LIose LIuL IIouLed pussIveIy In LIe IIood, monsLers
compucL oI sIIme, yeL wILI urms Lo cuLcI LIeIr prey, poIyps, ucuIepIs, skypIomedusus - LIey uII
seemed Lo Iuve been seIzed by spusms oI LwILcIIng excILemenL.
¡L mIgIL weII be LIuL uII LIese nuLIves oI LIe deep regurded LIIs IIgIL-rudIuLIng guesL us un
ouLsIze vurIuLIon oI LIemseIves, Ior mosL oI LIem couId do wIuL IL couId; LIuL Is Lo suy, gIve ouL
IIgIL by LIeIr own power. TIe vIsILors, AdrIun suId, Iud onIy Lo puL ouL LIeIr own seurcIIIgIL,
wIen un exLruordInury specLucIe unIoIded ouLsIde. ¡ur und wIde LIe durkness oI LIe seu wus
IIIumInuLed by sIooLIng und cIrcIIng wIII-o'-LIe-wIsps, cuused by LIe IIgIL wILI wIIcI muny oI
LIe creuLures were equIpped, so LIuL In some cuses LIe enLIre body wus pIospIorescenL, wIIIe
oLIers Iud u seurcIIIgIL, un eIecLrIc IunLern, wILI wIIcI presumubIy LIey noL onIy IIgILed LIe
durkness oI LIeIr puLI, buL uIso uLLrucLed LIeIr prey. TIey uIso probubIy used IL In courLsIIp. TIe
ruy Irom some oI LIe Iurger ones cusL sucI un InLense wIILe IIgIL LIuL LIe observers' eyes were
bIInded. OLIers Iud eyebuIIs projecLIng on sLuIks; probubIy In order Lo perceIve uL LIe greuLesL
possIbIe dIsLunce LIe IuInLesL gIeum oI IIgIL meunL Lo Iure or wurn.
TIe nurruLor regreLLed LIuL IL wus noL possIbIe Lo cuLcI uny oI LIese monsLers oI LIe deep, uL
IeusL some oI LIe uLLerIy unknown ones, und brIng LIem Lo LIe surIuce. ¡n order Lo do so,
Iowever, one wouId Iuve Lo preserve Ior LIem wIIIe uscendIng LIe sume Lremendous
uLmospIerIc pressure LIey were used Lo und udupLed Lo In LIeIr envIronmenL - LIe sume LIuL
resLed on our dIvIng-beII - u dIsLurbIng LIougIL. ¡n LIeIr IubILuL LIe creuLures counLerucLed IL by
un equuI pressure oI LIeIr LIssues und cuvILIes; so LIuL II LIe ouLsIde pressure were decreused,
LIey wouId InevILubIy bursL. Some oI LIem, uIus, bursL now, on comIng InLo conLucL wILI LIe
dIvIng-beII: LIe wuLcIers suw un unusuuIIy Iurge, IIesI-coIoured wIgIL, ruLIer IIneIy Iormed, jusL
LoucI LIe vesseI und IIy InLo u LIousund pIeces.
TIus AdrIun LoId IIs LuIe, us we smoked our cIgurs; quILe us LIougI Ie Iud IImseII been
presenL und Iud uII LIese LIIngs sIown Lo IIm. He currIed ouL LIe jesL so weII, wILI onIy IuII u
smIIe, LIuL ¡ couId buL sLure umuzed even wIIIe ¡ IuugIed und murveIIed uL IIs LuIe. ¡¡Is smIIe
uIso probubIy expressed u LeusIng umusemenL uL u cerLuIn resIsLunce on my sIde, wIIcI musL
Iuve been obvIous Lo IIm, Ior Ie weII knew my Iuck oI InLeresL, even umounLIng Lo dIsLusLe, Ior
LIe LrIcks und mysLerIes oI LIe nuLuruI, Ior "nuLure" uILogeLIer, und my uIIegIunce Lo LIe spIere oI
LIe Iumun und urLIcuIuLe. ObvIousIy LIIs knowIedge oI IIs wus In Iurge purL wIuL Ied IIm Lo go
on wILI IIs reporLs or, us Ie puL IL, IIs experIences oI LIe monsLrousIy exLru-Iumun; pIungIng,
curryIng me uIong wILI IIm, "in den Dzecn der Welten clle."
TIe LrunsILIon wus mude eusy Ior IIm by IIs prevIous descrIpLIons. TIe uIIen, IunLusLIc nuLure
oI LIe deep-seu IIIe, wIIcI seemed no Ionger Lo beIong Lo LIe sume pIuneL wILI us, wus u poInL oI
depurLure. AnoLIer wus LIe KIopsLock pIruse "TIe Drop Lo LIe BuckeL": Iow weII ILs udmIrIng
IumIIILy descrIbed our own quILe secondury posILIon In LIe cosmos! TIIs on uccounL oI our uLLer
InsIgnIIIcunce Lo uny Iurger vIew; LIe uImosL undIscoverubIe sILuuLIon noL onIy oI LIe eurLI buL oI
our wIoIe pIuneLury sysLem, LIe sun wILI ILs seven suLeIIILes, wILIIn LIe vorLex oI LIe MIIky Wuy,
Lo wIIcI IL beIongs - "our" MIIky Wuy, Lo suy noLIIng oI LIe mIIIIons oI oLIer ones. TIe word
"our" Iends u cerLuIn InLImucy Lo LIe vusLness Lo wIIcI IL reIers; IL Lukes LIe IeeIIng oI "Iome" und
uImosL comIcuIIy mugnIIIes IL InLo breuLILukIngIy exLended spuce, wIereIn LIen we ure Lo
consIder ourseIves us esLubIIsIed II IumbIe cILIzens. And Iere LIe Lendency oI nuLure Lo LIe
spIerIcuI seems Lo be currIed LIrougI: LIIs wus u LIIrd poInL Lo wIIcI AdrIun IInked IIs dIscourse
on LIe cosmos; urrIvIng uL IL purLIy LIrougI LIe sLrunge experIence oI LIe sojourn In LIe IoIIow
buII, LIe Akercocke dIvIng-beII In wIIcI Ie purporLed Lo Iuve spenL some Iours. ¡n u IoIIow buII,
so Ie wus InsLrucLed, we uII und sundry pussed our duys; Ior In LIe guIucLIc sysLem wIereIn we
occupIed un InIInILesImuI poInL somewIere uL one sIde, LIe sILuuLIon wus us IoIIows:
¡L wus sIuped more or Iess IIke u IIuL wuLcI; round, und mucI Iess LIIck LIun ILs cIrcumIerence:
un uggreguLIon noL IILeruIIy ImmeusurubIe buL sLIII LruIy vusL, u wIIrIIng dIsk oI concenLruLed
IosLs oI sLurs und sLur sysLems, sLur cIusLers, doubIe sLurs, wIIcI descrIbed eIIIpLIcuI orbILs ubouL
eucI oLIer; oI gus cIouds, nebuIus, pIuneLury nebuIus, sLeIIur nebuIus, und so on. BuL LIIs dIsk
wus onIy compurubIe Lo LIe IIuL round surIuce wIIcI resuILs wIen one cuLs un orunge In IuII; Ior
IL wus encIosed uII round by u vupour oI oLIer sLurs, wIIcI uguIn couId noL sLrIcLIy speukIng be
cuIIed ImmeusurubIe, buL us ruIsed Lo u very IIgI power oI vusLness und In wIose spuces, mosLIy
empLy spuces, LIe gIven objecLs were so dIsLrIbuLed LIuL LIe wIoIe sLrucLure Iormed u buII.
SomewIere deep wILIIn LIIs ubsurdIy spurseIy seLLIed buII, beIongIng, In u very mInor cuLegory,
scurceIy worLI menLIon und noL even eusy Lo IInd, Lo LIe dIsk or condensed swurm oI worIds, wus
LIe IIxed sLur ubouL wIIcI, uIong wILI ILs greuLer und smuIIer compunIons, sporLed LIe eurLI und
ILs IILLIe moon. "TIe sun" - u body IILLIe deservIng oI LIe deIInILe urLIcIe - u gus buII regIsLerIng
sIx LIousund degrees oI IeuL on ILs surIuce, und u mere mIIIIon und u IuII kIIomeLres In dIumeLer,
wus us Iur dIsLunL Irom LIe cenLre oI LIe guIucLIc Inner pIune us LIuL wus LIIck LIrougI - In oLIer
words, LIIrLy LIousund IIgIL-yeurs.
My generuI InIormuLIon permILLed me Lo ussocIuLe u concepL, Iowever ImprecIse, wILI LIe
words "IIgIL-yeur." ¡L wus, oI course, u spuLIuI concepL und LIe word meunL LIe spun LIuL IIgIL
puLs beIInd IL In LIe course oI u wIoIe eurLI-yeur, uL u speed pecuIIur Lo IL, oI wIIcI ¡ Iud u vugue
Ideu buL AdrIun Iud In IIs Ieud LIe exucL IIgure oI 186,ooo mIIes per second. So u IIgIL-yeur
umounLed Lo u round und neL IIgure oI sIx LrIIIIon mIIes, und LIe eccenLrIcILy oI our soIur sysLem
umounLed Lo LIIrLy LIousund LImes us mucI, wIIIe LIe wIoIe dIumeLer oI LIe guIucLIc IoIIow buII
cume Lo Lwo Iundred LIousund IIgIL-yeurs.
No, IL wus noL ImmeusurubIe, buL IL wus In LIIs wuy LIuL IL wus Lo be meusured. WIuL Is one Lo
suy Lo sucI un ussuuIL upon LIe Iumun undersLundIng? ¡ conIess Lo beIng so mude LIuL noLIIng
buL u resIgned II uIso somewIuL conLempLuous sIouIder-sIrug remuIns Lo me In Iuce oI sucI
ungruspubIe, sucI sLunnIng sLuLIsLIcs. EnLIusIusm Ior sIze, beIng overwIeImed by sIze - LIuL Is
no doubL u menLuI pIeusure; buL IL Is onIy possIbIe In connecLIons wIIcI u Iumun beIng cun
grusp. TIe PyrumIds ure Iurge, MonL BIunc und LIe InsIde oI LIe dome oI SL. PeLer's ure Iurge,
unIess one preIer Lo reserve LIIs uLLrIbuLe oI Iurgeness Lo LIe menLuI und moruI worId, LIe
nobIIILy oI LIe IeurL und oI LIougIL. TIe duLu oI LIe cosmIc creuLIon ure noLIIng buL u deuIenIng
bomburdmenL oI our InLeIIIgence wILI IIgures IurnIsIed wILI u comeL's LuII oI u coupIe oI dozen
cIpIers, und comporLIng LIemseIves us LIougI LIey sLIII Iud someLIIng, unyLIIng, Lo do wILI
meusuremenL und undersLundIng. TIere Is In uII LIIs monsLrousness noLIIng LIuL couId uppeuI Lo
LIe IIkes oI me us goodness, beuuLy, greuLness; und ¡ sIuII never undersLund LIe gIory-Lo-God
menLuI uLLILude wIIcI cerLuIn LemperumenLs ussume wIen LIey conLempIuLe LIe "works oI God,"
meunIng by LIe pIruse LIe pIysIcs oI LIe unIverse. And Is u consLrucLIon Lo be IuIIed us "LIe
works oI God" wIen one muy jusL us reusonubIy suy: "WeII, wIuL LIen?" InsLeud oI "GIory Lo LIe
¡ord"? TIe IIrsL ruLIer LIun LIe second seems Lo me LIe rIgIL unswer Lo Lwo dozen cIpIers uILer u
one or even uILer u seven, wIIcI reuIIy udds noLIIng Lo IL; und ¡ cun see no sorL oI reuson Lo IuII In
LIe dusL und udore LIe IIILI power oI u mIIIIon.
¡L wus uIso u LeIIIng IucL LIuL KIopsLock In IIs sourIng poesy expressIng und urousIng u IervId
reverence conIInes IImseII Lo LIe eurLI - LIe drop In LIe buckeL - und Ieuves LIe quInLIIIIons
uIone. My IrIend AdrIun, LIe composer oI KIopsLock's Iymns, does, us ¡ suy, dweII on LIIs uspecL;
buL ¡ sIouId do wrong Lo urouse LIe ImpressIon LIuL Ie does so wILI uny sorL oI emoLIon or
empIusIs. AdrIun's wuy oI deuIIng wILI LIese InsunILIes wus coId, IndIIIerenL, coIoured by
umusemenL uL my unconceuIed dIsLusLe. BuL uIso IL dIspIuyed u cerLuIn InILIuLed IumIIIurILy, u
persIsLence, ¡ meun, In LIe IIcLIon LIuL Ie Iud derIved IIs knowIedge noL sImpIy LIrougI reudIng,
buL ruLIer by personuI LrunsmIssIon, InsLrucLIon, demonsLruLIon, experIence, perIups Irom IIs
ubove-menLIoned menLor, ProIessor Akercocke, wIo IL uppeured Iud been wILI IIm noL onIy
down In LIe durkness oI LIe oceun deeps, buL uIso up umong LIe sLurs... He beIuved In u wuy us
LIougI Ie Iud goL IL Irom IIs menLor, und Indeed more or Iess LIrougI ucLuuI observuLIon, LIuL
LIe pIysIcuI unIverse - LIIs word In ILs wIdesL und IurLIesL connoLuLIon - sIouId be cuIIed
neILIer IInILe nor InIInILe, becuuse boLI words descrIbed someLIIng someIow sLuLIc, wIereus LIe
Lrue sILuuLIon wus LIrougI und LIrougI dynumIc In ILs nuLure, und LIe cosmos, uL IeusL Ior u Iong
LIme, more precIseIy Ior nIneLeen Iundred mIIIIon yeurs, Ius been In u sLuLe oI IurIous expunsIon
- LIuL Is, oI expIosIon. OI LIIs we were IeIL In no doubL, due Lo LIe red-sIIIL oI LIe IIgIL wIIcI
reucIes us Irom numerous mIIky-wuy sysLems uL u known dIsLunce Irom us: LIe sLronger
uILeruLIon oI coIour oI LIIs IIgIL Lowurd LIe red end oI LIe specLrum Is In proporLIon Lo LIe
greuLer dIsLunce Irom us oI LIese nebuIue. ObvIousIy LIey were movIng uwuy Irom us; und wILI
LIe IurLIesL ones, compIexes one Iundred und IIILy mIIIIon IIgIL-yeurs uwuy, LIe speed wILI
wIIcI LIey moved wus IIke LIuL wIIcI LIe uIpIu purLIcIes oI rudIoucLIve subsLunce deveIoped,
umounLIng Lo LwenLy-IIve LIousund kIIomeLres u second, u ruLe oI speed compured wILI wIIcI
LIe spIInLerIng oI u bursLIng sIeII wus uL u snuII's puce. ¡I LIen uII LIe guIuxIes were Lo rusI uwuy
Irom eucI oLIer In LIe mosL exuggeruLed spuce oI LIme, LIen LIe word "expIosIon" wouId jusL be
- or ruLIer Iud noL Ior u Iong LIme been - udequuLe Lo descrIbe LIe sLuLe oI LIe worId-puLLern
und ILs wuy oI expunsIon. ¡L mIgIL once Iuve been sLuLIc, eurIIer, und been sImpIy u mIIIIurd
IIgIL-yeurs In dIumeLer. As LIIngs were now, one couId speuk Indeed oI expunsIon, buL noL oI uny
consLunL expunsIon, "IInILe" or "InIInILe." ¡L seemed LIuL IIs guIde Iud been ubIe Lo ussure LIe
quesLIoner onIy oI LIe IucL LIuL LIe sum oI LIe coIIecLIve exIsLIng guIuxIes wus In LIe order oI sIze
oI u Iundred mIIIIurds, cI wIIcI onIy u modesL mIIIIon were uccessIbIe Lo our LeIescopes.
TIus AdrIun, smokIng und smIIIng. ¡ uppeuIed Lo IIs conscIence und demunded Irom IIm un
udmIssIon LIuL LIIs spookIng ubouL wILI sLuLIsLIcs Iorever escupIng InLo LIe voId couId noL
possIbIy sLIr one Lo u IeeIIng oI LIe mujesLy oI God or gIve rIse Lo uny moruI eIevuLIon. ¡L uII
Iooked very mucI more IIke devII's juggIIng.
"AdmIL," suId ¡ Lo IIm, "LIuL LIe Iorrendous pIysIcuI creuLIon Is In no wuy reIIgIousIy
producLIve. WIuL reverence und wIuL cIvIIIzIng process born oI reverence cun come Irom LIe
pIcLure oI u vusL ImproprIeLy IIke LIIs oI LIe expIodIng unIverse? AbsoIuLeIy none. PIeLy,
reverence, InLeIIecLuuI decency, reIIgIous IeeIIng, ure onIy possIbIe ubouL men und LIrougI men,
und by IImILuLIon Lo LIe eurLIIy und Iumun. TIeIr IruIL sIouId, cun, und wIII be u reIIgIousIy
LInged IumunIsm, condILIoned by IeeIIng Ior LIe LrunscendenLuI mysLery oI mun, by LIe proud
conscIousness LIuL Ie Is no mere bIoIogIcuI beIng, buL wILI u decIsIve purL oI IIm beIongs Lo un
InLeIIecLuuI und spIrILuuI worId, LIuL Lo IIm LIe AbsoIuLe Is gIven, LIe Ideus oI LruLI, oI Ireedom,
oI jusLIce; LIuL upon IIm LIe duLy Is IuId Lo upproucI LIe consummuLe. ¡n LIIs puLIos, LIIs ob-
IIguLIon, LIIs reverence oI mun Ior IImseII, Is God; In u Iundred mIIIIurds oI MIIky Wuys ¡ cunnoL
IInd IIm."
"So you ure uguInsL LIe works," Ie unswered, "und uguInsL pIysIcuI nuLure, Irom wIIcI mun
comes und wILI IIm IIs IncorporeuI purL, wIIcI In LIe end does occur In oLIer pIuces In LIe
cosmos. PIysIcuI creuLIon, LIIs monsLrosILy oI u worId seL-up, so unnoyIng Lo you, Is
InconLesLubIy LIe premIse Ior LIe moruI, wILIouL wIIcI IL wouId Iuve no soII, und perIups one
musL cuII LIe good LIe IIower oI evII - une jleur du mcl. BuL your homo Dei Is uILer uII - or noL
uILer uII, ¡ beg purdon, ¡ meun beIore uII - u purL oI LIIs ubomInubIe nuLure - wILI u noL very
generous quunLum oI poLenLIuI spIrILuuIILy. Moreover IL Is umusIng Lo see Iow mucI your
IumunIsm, und probubIy uII IumunIsm, IncIInes Lo LIe medIuevuI geocenLrIc - us IL obvIousIy
musL. ¡n LIe popuIur beIIeI, IumunIsm Is IrIendIy Lo scIence; buL IL cunnoL be, Ior one cunnoL
consIder LIe subjecLs oI scIence Lo be devII's work wILIouL seeIng LIe sume In scIence ILseII. TIuL
Is MIddIe Ages. TIe MIddIe Ages were geocenLrIc und unLIropocenLrIc. TIe CIurcI, In wIIcI
LIey survIved, Ius seL ILseII Lo oppose usLronomIcuI knowIedge In LIe IumunIsLIc spIrIL;
bedevIIIed und IorbIdden IL Lo LIe Ionour oI LIe Iumun beIng; ouL oI IumunILy Ius InsIsLed on
Ignorunce. You see, your IumunIsm Is pure MIddIe Ages. ¡Ls concern Is u cosmoIogy proper Lo
KuIsersuscIern und ILs Lowers: IL Ieuds Lo usLroIogy, Lo observuLIon oI LIe posILIon oI LIe pIuneLs,
LIe consLeIIuLIon und ILs IuvourubIe or unIuvourubIe IndIcuLIons - quILe nuLuruIIy und rIgILIy, Ior
noLIIng Is cIeurer LIun LIe InLImuLe InLerdependence oI LIe bodIes oI u cosmIc IILLIe group so
cIoseIy bound LogeLIer us our soIur sysLem, und LIeIr neur neIgIbourIy muLuuI reIerence."
"We Iuve uIreudy LuIked ubouL usLroIogIcuI conjuncLure," ¡ broke In. "¡L wus Iong ugo, we were
wuIkIng round LIe Cow Pond, und IL wus u musIcuI conversuLIon. AL LIuL LIme you deIended LIe
consLeIIuLIon."
"¡ sLIII deIend IL Loduy," Ie unswered. "AsLroIogIcuI LImes knew u IoL. TIey knew, or dIvIned,
LIIngs wIIcI scIence In ILs broudesL scope Is comIng buck Lo. TIuL dIseuses, pIugues, epIdemIcs
Iuve Lo do wILI LIe posILIon oI LIe sLurs wus Lo LIose LImes un InLuILIve cerLuInLy. Toduy we Iuve
goL so Iur us Lo debuLe wIeLIer germs, bucLerIu, orgunIsms wIIcI, we suy, cun produce un
InIIuenzu epIdemIc on eurLI come Irom oLIer pIuneLs - Murs, JupILer, or Venus."
ConLugIous dIseuses, pIugue, bIuck deuLI, were probubIy noL oI LIIs pIuneL; us, uImosL cerLuInIy
Indeed, IIIe ILseII Ius noL ILs orIgIn on our gIobe, buL cume IILIer Irom ouLsIde. He, AdrIun, Iud IL
on LIe besL uuLIorILy LIuL IL cume Irom neIgIbourIng sLurs wIIcI ure enveIoped In un
uLmospIere more IuvourubIe Lo IL, conLuInIng mucI meLIune und ummonIu, IIke JupILer, Murs,
und Venus. ¡rom LIem, or Irom one oI LIem - Ie IeIL me LIe cIoIce - IIIe Iud once, borne by
cosmIc projecLIIes or sImpIy by rudIuLIon pressure, urrIved upon our IormerIy sLerIIe und
InnocenL pIuneL. My IumunIsLIc homo Dei, LIuL crownIng ucIIevemenL oI IIIe, wus LogeLIer wILI
IIs obIIguLIons Lo LIe spIrILuuI In uII probubIIILy LIe producL oI LIe mursI-gus IerLIIILy oI u
neIgIbourIng sLur.
"TIe IIower oI evII," ¡ repeuLed, noddIng.
"And bIoomIng mosLIy In mIscIIeI," Ie udded.
TIus Ie LuunLed me, noL onIy wILI my kIndIy vIew oI LIe worId, buL uIso by persIsLIng In LIe
wIImsIcuI preLence oI u personuI, dIrecL, und specIuI knowIedge ubouL LIe uIIuIrs oI Ieuven und
eurLI. ¡ dId noL know, buL ¡ mIgIL Iuve been ubIe Lo LeII myseII, LIuL uII LIIs meunL someLIIng,
meunL u new work: numeIy, LIe cosmIc musIc wIIcI Ie Iud In IIs mInd, uILer LIe epIsode oI LIe
new songs. ¡L wus LIe umuzIng sympIony In one movemenL, LIe orcIesLruI IunLusy LIuL Ie wus
workIng ouL durIng LIe IusL monLIs oI 1q1¸ und LIe IIrsL oI 1q1q, und wIIcI very mucI uguInsL
my expressed wIsI bore LIe LILIe Mcrtels oj the Uniterse. ¡ wus mIsLrusLIuI oI LIe IIIppuncy oI
LIuL nume und suggesLed LIe LILIe Sçmphonic cosmoloçicc. BuL AdrIun InsIsLed, IuugIIng, on LIe
oLIer, mock-puLIeLIc, IronIc nume, wIIcI cerLuInIy beLLer prepured LIe knowIng Ior LIe ouL-und-
ouL bIzurre und unpIeusunL cIurucLer oI LIe work, even LIougI oILen LIese Imuges oI LIe
monsLrous und uncunny were groLesque In u soIemn, IormuI, muLIemuLIcuI wuy. TIIs musIc Ius
sImpIy noLIIng In common wILI LIe spIrIL oI LIe Sprinç Celebrction, wIIcI uILer uII wus In u
cerLuIn wuy LIe prepuruLIon Ior IL: ¡ meun wILI LIe spIrIL oI IumbIe gIorIIIcuLIon. ¡I cerLuIn
musIcuI IeuLures oI LIe wrILIng pecuIIur Lo AdrIun Iud noL IndIcuLed LIe uuLIor, one couId
scurceIy beIIeve LIuL LIe sume mInd brougIL IorLI boLI. NuLure und essence oI LIuL neurIy LIIrLy-
mInuLes-Iong orcIesLruI worId-porLruIL Is mockery, u mockery wIIcI uII Loo weII conIIrms my
opInIon expressed In conversuLIon, LIuL preoccupuLIon wILI LIe ImmeusurubIe exLru-Iumun
uIIords noLIIng Ior pIeLy Lo Ieed on: u IucIIerIun surdonIc mood, u sneerIng LruvesLy oI pruIse
wIIcI seems Lo uppIy noL onIy Lo LIe IrIgILIuI cIockwork oI LIe worId-sLrucLure buL uIso Lo LIe
medIum used Lo descrIbe IL: yes, repeuLedIy wILI musIc ILseII, LIe cosmos oI sound. TIe pIece Ius
conLrIbuLed noL u IILLIe Lo LIe reproucI IeveIIed uL LIe urL oI my IrIend, us u vIrLuosILy unLIpuLIeLIc
Lo LIe urLIsL mInd, u bIuspIemy, u nIIIIIsLIc sucrIIege.
BuL enougI on LIIs LIeme. TIe nexL Lwo cIupLers ¡ meun Lo devoLe Lo some socIuI experIences
wIIcI ¡ sIured wILI AdrIun ¡everküIn uL LIe Lurn oI LIe yeur 1q1¸-1q, durIng LIe IusL MunIcI
curnIvuI beIore LIe ouLbreuk oI LIe wur.

CHAPTIR XXVIII
¡ Iuve uIreudy suId LIuL LIe Iodger uL LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs' dId noL quILe bury IImseII In IIs
cIoIsLruI soIILude, guurded by KuscIperI-Suso. TIougI sporudIcuIIy und wILI reserve, Ie
cuILIvuLed u cerLuIn socIuI IIIe. Even so, Ie seemed Lo cIIng Lo LIe sooLIIng necessILy oI un eurIy
Ieuve-LukIng und IIxed depurLure by LIe eIeven-o'cIock LruIn. We meL uL LIe Roddes' In
RumbergsLrusse, wILI wIose cIrcIe - ScIwerdLIeger LIe IIddIer und wIIsLIer, LIe KnoLerIcIs, Dr.
KrunIcI, ZInk und SpengIer- ¡ Iud goL on u IrIendIy IooLIng; IurLIer uL LIe ScIIugInIuuIens',
uIso uL LIe Iome oI RudbrucI, ScIIIdknupp's pubIIsIer, In ¡ursLensLrusse, und In LIe eIegunL bel
Stcçe oI LIe RIIneIund puper-munuIucLurer BuIIInger, wIere uIso RüdIger InLroduced ts.
AL LIe Roddes', us weII us In LIe pIIIured ScIIugInIuuIen suIon, LIey enjoyed my vIoIu d'umore,
und In uny cuse IL wus LIe onIy conLrIbuLIon LIuL ¡, u scIoIur und scIooImusLer, never very IIveIy
In conversuLIon, couId muke Lo LIIs socIeLy. ¡n LIe RumbergsLrusse IL wus purLIcuIurIy LIe
usLImuLIc Dr. KrunIcI und BupLIsL SpengIer wIo kepL me Lo IL: LIe one ouL oI IIs unLIquurIun
InLeresLs (Ie IIked Lo LuIk wILI me, In IIs cIeurIy urLIcuIuLed, weII-urrunged senLences ubouL
numIsmuLIcs und ubouL LIe IIsLorIcuI deveIopmenL oI LIe vIoIu IumIIy), LIe oLIer ouL oI u generuI
LusLe Ior LIe ouL-oI-LIe-wuy und even LIe decudenL. SLIII ¡ Iud In LIuL Iouse Lo Iuve regurd Ior
Konrud KnoLerIcI's cruvIng Lo muke IImseII Ieurd pIuyIng ceIIo und snorLIng LIe wIIIe. And LIe
IILLIe uudIence Iud u jusLIIIed preIerence Ior ScIwerdLIeger's cupLIvuLIng vIoIIn-pIuyIng. So mucI
LIe more dId IL IIuLLer my vunILy (¡ deny IL noL) LIuL LIere wus u IIveIy demund Irom LIe mucI
Iurger und more eIevuLed pubIIc wIIcI LIe umbILIon oI ¡ruu Dr. ScIIugInIuuIen, nee von PIuusIg,
knew Iow Lo guLIer round Ier und Ier Iurd-oI-IeurIng, SuubIun-speukIng Iusbund. ¡ Iud uIwuys
cuILIvuLed my musIc mereIy us un umuLeur; buL ¡ wus uImosL uIwuys obIIged Lo brIng my
InsLrumenL wILI me Lo LIe BrIennersLrusse, Lo reguIe LIe compuny wILI u cIuconrIe or surubunde
Irom LIe sevenLeenLI cenLury, u "plcisir d'cmour" Irom LIe eIgILeenLI, or Lo perIorm u sonuLu by
ArIosLI, LIe IrIend oI HundeI, or one oI Huydn's wrILLen Ior LIe vIoIu dI bordone buL quILe
possIbIe Ior LIe vIoIu d'umore us weII.
NoL onIy Irom JeuneLLe ScIeurI dId suggesLIons IIke LIe IusL proceed, buL uIso Irom LIe
GeneruI-¡nLendunL, ExceIIency von RIedeseI, wIose puLronuge oI LIe oId InsLrumenL und oId
musIc dId noL Indeed, us wILI KrunIcI, sLem Irom scIoIurIy or unLIquurIun InLeresL, buL wus
pureIy conservuLIve In ILs orIgIn, u greuL dIIIerence oI course. TIIs courLIer, u Iormer cuvuIry
coIoneI, wIo Iud been uppoInLed Lo IIs presenL posL sImpIy und soIeIy becuuse IL Iud been weII
known LIuL Ie pIuyed pIuno u IILLIe (Iow muny cenLurIes ugo IL seems, LIuL one couId become u
GeneruI-¡nLendunL soIeIy becuuse one wus "nobIe" und pIuyed LIe pIuno u IILLIe!), Buron RIedeseI,
LIen, suw In everyLIIng oId und IIsLorIc u buIwurk uguInsL LIe new und subversIve, u sorL oI
IeuduI urgumenL uguInsL IL, und supporLed IL In LIIs sense, wILIouL In IucL undersLundIng
unyLIIng ubouL IL. ¡or jusL us IILLIe us one undersLunds LIe new und LIe young, wILIouL beIng uL
Iome In LIe LrudILIonuI, jusL so musL Iove Ior LIe oId remuIn ungenuIne und sLerIIe II one sIuL
oneseII uwuy Irom LIe new, wIIcI wILI IIsLorIcuI InevILubIIILy grows ouL oI IL. TIus RIedeseI
esLeemed und proLecLed LIe buIIeL, und IorsooLI becuuse IL wus "gruceIuI." TIe word meunL Lo
IIm u sIIbboIeLI, u conservuLIve urguIng-poInL uguInsL LIe modern und InsurrecLIonury. OI LIe
LrudILIonuI worId oI LIe RussIun und ¡rencI buIIeLs, represenLed by u TcIuIkovsky, u RuveI, u
SLruvInsky, Ie Iud no noLIon; Ideus ubouL LIe cIussIcuI buIIeL sucI us LIose wIIcI LIe IusL-numed
RussIun musLer IuLer enuncIuLed were remoLe Irom IIs mInd: buIIeL us u LrIumpI oI pIun und
meusure over unsLubIe IeeIIng, oI order over cIunce, us u puLLern oI conscIous, upoIIIne ucLIvILy, u
purudIgm Ior urL. WIuL Iovered beIore IIs mInd's eye were sImpIy guuze peLLIcouLs, Loe-poInLIng,
LrIppIng, und urms benL "gruceIuIIy" over Ieuds, under LIe eyes oI u courL socIeLy usserLIng LIe
"IdeuI," reprobuLIng LIe IuLeIuI probIemuLIcuI, LIese sILLIng In LIeIr Ioges, wIIIe u weII-LruIned
bourgeoIsIe IIIIed LIe purLerre.
WeII, LIere wus mucI Wugner pIuyed uL LIe ScIIugInIuuIens', sInce, LIe drumuLIc sopruno
TunIu OrIundu, Lremendous womun, und LIe IeroIc HuruId KIoeIeIund, u mun uIreudy sLouL, wILI
u pInce-nez und bruzen voIce, were IrequenL guesLs. BuL wILIouL Wugner's work, Ioud und vIoIenL
us IL wus, Herr RIedeseI und IIs HoILIeuLer couId noL Iuve exIsLed, so IL wus receIved, more or
Iess, InLo LIe kIngdom oI LIe IeuduI und "gruceIuI" und respecL wus puId IL, LIe more reudIIy
becuuse LIere were uIreudy newer works wIIcI wenL sLIII IurLIer, so LIuL one couId rejecL LIem,
und pIuy oII Wugner uguInsL LIem us u conservuLIve. TIus HIs ExceIIence IImseII couId IIuLLer
LIe sIngers by pIuyIng LIeIr uccompunImenLs on LIe pIuno, uILIougI IIs pIunIsLIc vIrLuosILy wus
scurceIy equuI Lo LIe Lusk und more LIun once compromIsed LIe eIIecL. ¡ dId noL cure Ior IL wIen
Kummersunger KIoeIeIund bruyed ouL SIegIrIed's preLLy duII und Iong-wInded smILI's songs so
LIuL uII LIe vuses und gIuss-wure In LIe suIon ruLLIed und rung In sympuLIy. BuL ¡ conIess LIuL ¡
um noL prooI uguInsL sucI u IeroIc IemuIe voIce us LIe OrIundu's wus uL LIuL LIme. TIe weIgIL oI
Ier personuIILy, LIe power oI Ier orgun, Ier prucLIsed LecInIque produced LIe convIncIng
IIIusIon oI u reguI IemuIe souI possessed by IoILy emoLIon. WIen sIe sung ¡soIde's "Ircu Minne
lenntest du nicht' und murked by un energeLIc downwurd LIrusL oI Ier urms LIe ecsLuLIc "Die
Icclel, ucr's meines Lebens Licht lcchend sie zu loschen zcçt' ich nicht" IL dId noL Iuck mucI Ior
me, wILI Leurs In my eyes, Lo Iuve kneIL beIore LIe sInger us sIe sLood LrIumpIunLIy smIIIng,
overwIeImed wILI uppIuuse. Moreover IL wus AdrIun wIo Iud uccompunIed Ier, und Ie Loo
smIIed wIen Ie rose Irom LIe pIuno-sLooI und IIs eyes dweIL on my Iuce, moved us IL wus uImosL
Lo weepIng.
¡L does one good, umong sucI ImpressIve perIormunces, Lo conLrIbuLe someLIIng oneseII Lo LIe
urLIsLIc enLerLuInmenL, und ¡ wus gruLIIIed wIen ExceIIence von RIedeseI, seconded uL once by
our Iong-Iegged eIegunL IosLess, urged me In IIs souLI-Germun pronuncIuLIon, und voIce mude
more sLrIdenL by IIs oIIIcer's LruInIng, Lo repeuL LIe undunLe und mInueL oI MIIundre (1;;o)
wIIcI ¡ Iud once beIore pIuyed on my seven sLrIngs. How weuk Is mun! ¡ wus gruLeIuI Lo IIm, ¡
uLLerIy IorgoL my dIsIIke oI IIs smooLI und empLy urIsLocruL's Iuce, wIIcI ouL oI sIeer
ImperLurbubIe InsoIence posILIveIy sIone; wILI LIe LwIsLed bIond mousLucIes, LIe smooLI-
sIuven cIeeks, und LIe gIeumIng monocIe In LIe eye under LIe bIeucIed brows. To AdrIun, us
weII ¡ knew, LIIs LILIed genLIemun wus u IIgure beyond judgmenL or senLence, beyond IuLred or
scorn, yes, beyond IuugILer; Ie wus noL worLI u sIouIder-sIrug - und jusL so, ucLuuIIy, ¡ IeIL
myseII. BuL uL sucI u momenL, wIen Ie cIuIIenged me Lo conLrIbuLe someLIIng "gruceIuI," LIuL
LIe compuny mIgIL recover Irom LIe uLLuck oI LIe revoIuLIonury urrIvIsLe, ¡ couId noL IeIp
uccedIng Lo IIs requesL.
¡L wus very sLrunge, purLIy puInIuI und purLIy comIc, Lo observe RIedeseI's conservuLIsm In
conLucL wILI unoLIer brund oI LIe sume LIIng. Here IL wus u muLLer noL so mucI oI "sLIII" us
"uguIn"; Ior LIIs wus un uILer- und unLI-revoIuLIonury conservuLIsm, u revoIL uguInsL bourgeoIs
IIberuI sLundurds Irom LIe oLIer end, noL Irom reur buL Irom LIe IronL; noL Irom LIe oId buL Irom
LIe new. SucI u conLucL wus encourugIng us weII us bewIIderIng Lo LIe sImpIe oId conservuLIsm;
und occusIon Ior IL wus uIIorded In our duy, even In LIe ScIIugInIuuIen suIon, wIere LIe socIuI
umbILIons oI LIe IosLess brougIL peopIe oI every sLrIpe LogeLIer. ¡or exumpIe, one oI LIe guesLs
wus LIe prIvuLe scIoIur Dr. CIuIm BreIsucIer, u rucIuI und InLeIIecLuuI Lype In IIgI, one mIgIL uI-
mosL suy reckIess deveIopmenL und oI u IuscInuLIng ugIIness. Here, obvIousIy wILI u cerLuIn
muIIcIous pIeusure, Ie pIuyed LIe roIe oI IermenL und IoreIgner. TIe IosLess upproved IIs
dIuIecLIc reudIness, produced wILI u decIded PuIuLInuLe uccenL; uIso IIs Lurn Ior purudox, wIIcI
mude LIe IudIes cIup LIeIr Iunds over LIeIr Ieuds In demure jubIIuLIon. As Ior IImseII, IL wus
probubIy snobbIsIness LIuL mude IIm Luke pIeusure In LIIs socIeLy, us weII us LIe need oI
usLonIsIIng eIegunL sImpIIcILy wILI Ideus wIIcI, In u IILerury cIrcIe, wouId Iuve mude Iess oI u
sensuLIon. ¡ dId noL IIke IIm In LIe IeusL, uIwuys suw In IIm un InLeIIecLuuI InLrIgunL, und wus
convInced LIuL Ie wus repugnunL Lo AdrIun us weII, uILIougI, on grounds Lo me uncIeur, we
never cume Lo uny deLuIIed conversuLIon ubouL BreIsucIer. BuL LIe mun's scenL Ior LIe InLeI-
IecLuuI weuLIer oI LIe LIme, IIs nose Ior LIe newesL vIews, ¡ Iuve never denIed, und some oI uII
LIuL ¡ meL Ior LIe IIrsL LIme In IIs person und IIs conversuLIon In socIeLy.
He wus u poIyIIsLor, wIo knew Iow Lo LuIk ubouL unyLIIng und everyLIIng; Ie wus concerned
wILI LIe pIIIosopIy oI cuILure, buL IIs vIews were unLI-cuILuruI, In so Iur us Ie guve ouL Lo see In
LIe wIoIe IIsLory oI cuILure noLIIng buL u process oI decIIne. TIe mosL conLempLuous word on
IIs IIps wus LIe word "progress"; Ie Iud un unnIIIIuLIng wuy oI pronouncIng IL; und one IeIL LIuL
LIe conservuLIve scorn wIIcI Ie devoLed Lo LIe Ideu wus regurded by IImseII us LIe Lrue
IegILImuLIon oI IIs presence In LIIs socIeLy, LIe murk oI IIs IILness Ior IL. He Iud wIL, buL oI no
very sympuLIeLIc kInd; us wIen Ie poured scorn on LIe deveIopmenL oI puInLIng Irom LIe
prImILIve IIuL Lo LIe presenLuLIon oI perspecLIve. To condemn us IncupucILy or Ignorunce, even us
cIumsy prImILIvIsm, LIe rejecLIon oI perspecLIve eye-decepLIon by pre-perspecLIve urL; even
pILyIngIy Lo sIrug LIe sIouIder over IL: LIIs, Ie decIured Lo be LIe peuk oI sIIIy modern urrogunce.
RejecLIon, renuncIuLIon, dIsduIn were noL IncupucILy, nor unInsLrucLedness, nor evIdence oI
poverLy. As LIougI IIIusIon were noL LIe cIeupesL prIncIpIe In urL, LIe mosL suILed Lo LIe mob; us
LIougI IL were noL sImpIy u sIgn oI eIevuLed LusLe Lo wIsI Lo know noLIIng oI IL! TIe gIIL oI
wunLIng Lo know noLIIng oI cerLuIn LIIngs wus very cIose Lo wIsdom, wus even u purL oI IL; buL IL
Iud unIorLunuLeIy been IosL, und ordInury, ImpudenL know-noLIIngs cuIIed LIemseIves
progressIve.
TIe guesLs oI ¡ruu ScIIugInIuuIen nee von PIuusIg someIow Iound LIemseIves very mucI uL
Iome IIsLenIng Lo LIese remurks. TIey muy Iuve IeIL LIuL BreIsucIer wus noL quILe LIe rIgIL
person Lo muke LIem, buL scurceIy LIuL LIey mIgIL noL be LIe rIgIL peopIe Lo uppIuud LIem.
¡L wus LIe sume LIIng, Ie suId, wILI LIe cIunge-over oI musIc Irom monody Lo purL-musIc, Lo
Iurmony, wIIcI peopIe IIked Lo LIInk oI us cuILuruI progress, wIen ucLuuIIy IL Iud been jusL un
ucquIsILIon oI burburIsm.
"TIuL Is ... purdon, burburIsm?" crouked Herr von RIedeseI, wIo wus oI course uccusLomed Lo
see In LIe burburIc u Iorm, II u sIIgILIy compromIsIng one, oI LIe conservuLIve.
"Yes Indeed, ExceIIence. TIe orIgIns oI poIypIonIc musIc - LIuL Is, oI sIngIng sImuILuneousIy
In IIILIs und IourLIs - IIe remoLe Irom LIe cenLre oI musIcuI cIvIIIzuLIon, Iur Irom Rome, wIere
LIe beuuLIIuI voIce und LIe cuIL oI IL were uL Iome. TIey IIe In LIe ruw-LIrouLed norLI und seem
Lo Iuve been u sorL oI compensuLIon Ior LIe ruwness. TIey IIe In EngIund und ¡runce, purLIcuIurIy
In suvuge BrILuIn, wIIcI wus LIe IIrsL Lo uccepL LIe LIIrd InLo Iurmony. TIe so-cuIIed IIgIer
deveIopmenL, LIe compIIcuLIon, LIe progress ure LIus someLImes LIe ucIIevemenL oI burburIsm. ¡
Ieuve IL Lo you wIeLIer LIIs Is Lo be pruIsed or noL... "
¡L wus cIeur und pIuIn LIuL Ie wus mukIng Iun oI HIs ExceIIence und LIe wIoIe compuny, uL LIe
sume LIme us Ie wus IngruLIuLIng IImseII wILI LIem us u conservuLIve. ObvIousIy Ie dId noL IeeI
comIorLubIe so Iong us uny oI IIs uudIence knew wIuL LIey were Lo LIInk. OI course poIypIonIc
vocuI musIc, LIIs InvenLIon oI progressIvIsL burburIsm, becume LIe objecL oI IIs conservuLIve pro-
LecLIon so soon us LIe IIsLorIcuI LrunsILIon Irom IL Lo LIe IurmonIc-cIorduI prIncIpIe und
LIerewILI Lo InsLrumenLuI musIc oI LIe IusL Lwo cenLurIes wus compIeLe. TIIs, LIen, wus LIe
decIIne, numeIy LIe deLerIoruLIon oI LIe greuL und onIy Lrue urL oI counLerpoInL, LIe cooI und
sucred pIuy oI numbers, wIIcI, LIunk God, Iud Iud noLIIng Lo do wILI prosLILuLIon oI IeeIIng or
bIuspIemous dynumIc; und In LIIs decIIne, rIgIL In LIe mIddIe oI IL, beIonged LIe greuL BucI
Irom EIsenucI, wIom GoeLIe quILe rIgILIy cuIIed u IurmonIsL. A mun wus noL LIe InvenLor oI LIe
weII-Lempered cIuvIcIord, uccordIngIy oI LIe possIbIIILy oI undersLundIng every noLe
umbIguousIy und excIungIng LIem enIurmonIcuIIy, und LIus oI LIe newer IurmonIc
romunLIcIsm oI moduIuLIon, wILIouL deservIng LIe Iurd nume wIIcI LIe wIse one oI WeImur
guve IIm. HurmonIc counLerpoInL? TIere wus noL sucI u LIIng. ¡L wus neILIer IIsI nor IIesI. TIe
soILenIng, LIe eIIemInIzIng und IuIsIIIcuLIon, LIe new InLerpreLuLIon puL on LIe oId und genuIne
poIypIony undersLood us u combIned soundIng oI vurIous voIces InLo LIe IurmonIc-cIorduI, Iud
uIreudy begun In LIe sIxLeenLI cenLury, und peopIe IIke PuIesLrInu, LIe Lwo GubrIeIIs, und our
good OrIundo dI ¡usso Iere on LIe spoL Iud uIreudy pIuyed LIeIr sIumeIuI purL In IL. TIese
genLIemen brougIL us LIe concepLIon oI LIe vocuI poIypIonIc urL, "IumunIy" uL IIrsL, oI yes, und
seemed Lo us LIereIore LIe greuLesL musLers oI LIIs sLyIe. BuL LIuL wus sImpIy becuuse Ior LIe
mosL purL LIey deIIgILed In u pureIy cIorduI LexLure oI pIruse, und LIeIr wuy oI LreuLIng LIe
poIypIonIc sLyIe Iud been mIserubIy weukened by LIeIr regurd Ior LIe IurmonIc IucLor, Ior LIe
reIuLIon oI consonunce und dIssonunce.
WIIIe everybody murveIIed und IuugIed und cIupped IIs knees uL LIese IrrILuLIng remurks, ¡
sougIL AdrIun's eye, buL Ie wouId noL Iook uL me. As Ior von RIedeseI, Ie wus u prey Lo sIeer
conIusIon.
"Purdon me," Ie suId, "permIL me ... BucI, PuIesLrInu ..." TIese numes wore Ior IIm LIe
nImbus oI conservuLIve uuLIorILy, und Iere LIey were beIng ussIgned Lo LIe reuIm oI modernIsLIc
dIsInLegruLIon. He sympuLIIzed - und uL LIe sume LIme Iound IL uII so unnuLuruI LIuL Ie even
Look IIs monocIe ouL oI IIs eye, LIus robbIng IIs Iuce oI every gIeum oI InLeIIIgence. He Iured no
beLLer wIen BreIsucIer's cuILuruI Iurungue sIIILed ILs LIeme Lo LIe IIeId oI OId TesLumenL
crILIcIsm, LIus LurnIng Lo IIs own personuI spIere oI orIgIn, LIe JewIsI ruce or peopIe und ILs
InLeIIecLuuI IIsLory. Even Iere Ie udIered Lo u doubIe-Iuced, u cruss und muIIcIous conservuLIsm.
AccordIng Lo IIm, decIIne, besoLLedness, Ioss oI every conLucL wILI LIe oId und genuIne, Iud seL
In eurIIer und In u more respecLubIe pIuce LIun unyone couId Iuve dreumed. ¡ cun onIy suy LIuL IL
wus on LIe wIoIe IrunLIcuIIy Iunny. BIbIIcuI personuges - revered by every CIrIsLIun cIIId -
KIng DuvId, KIng SoIomon, und LIe propIeLs drIveIIIng ubouL deur God In Ieuven, LIese were LIe
uIreudy debused represenLuLIves oI un expIoded IuLe LIeoIogy, wIIcI no Ionger Iud uny Ideu oI
LIe oId und genuIne HebruIc ucLuuIILy oI JuIve, LIe EIoIIm oI LIe peopIe; und In LIe rILes wILI
wIIcI uL LIe LIme oI genuIne IoIkIsIness LIey served LIIs nuLIonuI god or ruLIer Iorced IIm Lo
pIysIcuI presence, suw onIy "rIddIes oI prImevuI LIme." He wus purLIcuIurIy cuLLIng ubouL
SoIomon "LIe wIse," und LreuLed IIm wILI so IILLIe ceremony LIuL LIe genLIemen wIIsLIed
LIrougI LIeIr LeeLI und LIe IudIes cIeered us weII us LIey couId Ior umuzemenL.
"Purdon," suId von RIedeseI. "¡ um, Lo puL IL mIIdIy ... KIng SoIomon In uII IIs gIory... SIouId
you noL - "
"No, ExceIIence, ¡ sIouId noL," unswered BreIsucIer. "TIe mun wus un uesLIeLe unnerved by
eroLIc excesses und In u reIIgIous sense u progressIvIsL bIockIeud, LypIcuI oI LIe buck-IormuLIon
oI LIe cuIL oI LIe eIIecLIveIy presenL nuLIonuI god, LIe generuI concepL oI LIe meLupIysIcuI power
oI LIe IoIk, InLo LIe preucIIng oI un ubsLrucL und generuIIy Iumun god In Ieuven; In oLIer words,
Irom LIe reIIgIon oI LIe peopIe Lo LIe reIIgIon oI LIe worId. To prove IL we onIy need Lo reud LIe
scunduIous speecI wIIcI Ie mude uILer LIe IIrsL LempIe wus IInIsIed, wIere Ie usks: 'BuL wIII
God Indeed dweII on LIe eurLI?' us LIougI ¡srueI's wIoIe und unIque Lusk Iud noL consIsLed
LIereIn, LIuL IL sIouId buIId God u dweIIIng, u LenL, und provIde uII meuns Ior HIs consLunL
presence. BuL SoIomon wus so boId us Lo decIuIm: 'BeIoId, LIe Ieuven und Ieuven oI Ieuvens
cunnoL conLuIn TIee; Iow mucI Iess LIIs Iouse LIuL ¡ Iuve buIIded!' TIuL Is jusL LwuddIe und LIe
begInnIng oI LIe end, LIuL Is LIe degeneruLe concepLIon oI LIe poeLs oI LIe PsuIms; wILI wIom
God Is uIreudy enLIreIy exIIed InLo LIe sky, und wIo consLunLIy sIng oI God In Ieuven, wIereus
LIe PenLuLeucI does noL even know IL us LIe seuL oI LIe GodIeud. TIere LIe EIoIIm goes on
uIeud oI LIe peopIe In u pIIIur oI IIre, LIere He wIII dweII umong LIe peopIe, go ubouL umong LIe
peopIe und Iuve HIs sIumbIes - Lo uvoId LIe LIIn word 'uILur' subsLILuLed by u IuLer IumunILy. ¡s
IL conceIvubIe Ior u psuImIsL Lo muke God usk: 'Do ¡ LIen euL LIe IIesI oI buIIs und drInk LIe
bIood oI gouLs?' To puL sucI words In God's mouLI Is uIreudy sImpIy unIeurd oI, u sIup oI
ImperLInenL enIIgILenmenL In LIe Iuce or LIe PenLuLeucI, wIIcI expressIy descrIbes LIe sucrIIIce
us 'LIe breud' - LIuL Is, us LIe ucLuuI nourIsImenL oI JuIve. ¡L Is onIy u sLep Irom LIIs quesLIon,
us uIso Irom LIe pIruses oI SoIomon LIe 'wIse,' Lo MuImonIdes, supposedIy LIe greuLesL
rubbInIcuI scIoIur oI LIe MIddIe Ages, ucLuuIIy un ussImIIuLor oI ArIsLoLIe, wIo munuges Lo
'expIuIn' LIe sucrIIIce us u concessIon by God Lo LIe IeuLIen InsLIncLs oI LIe peopIe - Iu, Iu!
Good, LIe sucrIIIce oI bIood und IuL, wIIcI once, suILed und seusoned wILI suvoury smeIIs, Ied
God, mude HIm u body, IeId HIm Lo LIe presenL, Is Ior LIe psuImIsL onIy u 'symboI'" (¡ cun sLIII
Ieur LIe uccenLs oI IneIIubIe conLempL In wIIcI Dr. BreIsucIer uLLered LIe word); "one no Ionger
sIuugILers LIe beusL, buL, IncredIbIy enougI, gruLILude und IumIIILy. 'WIoso oIIereLI pruIse,' Is
LIe word now, 'gIorIIIeLI me'! And unoLIer LIme: 'TIe sucrIIIces oI God ure u broken spIrIL.' ¡n
sIorL, uII LIuL ceused, Iong ugo, Lo be IoIk und bIood und reIIgIous reuIILy; IL Is noLIIng uny more
buL weuk wuLer-grueI."
So mucI us u LusLe oI BreIsucIer's IIgIIy conservuLIve exegesIs. ¡L wus us umusIng us IL wus
repuIsIve. He couId noL suy enougI Lo dIspIuy LIe genuIne cuIL oI LIe reuI und by no meuns
ubsLrucLIy unIversuI, Ience uIso noL "uImIgILy" und "uII-presenL" God oI LIe peopIe us u mugIc
LecInIque, u munIpuIuLIon oI dynumIc Iorces, pIysIcuIIy noL wILIouL ILs rIsks, In wIIcI mIsIups
mIgIL eusIIy occur, cuLusLropIIc sIorL cIrcuILs due Lo mIsLukes und IuIIures. TIe sons oI Auron
Iud dIed becuuse LIey Iud brougIL on "sLrunge IIre." TIuL wus un InsLunce oI u LecInIcuI
mIscIunce, LIe consequence oI un error. Somebody numed Uzzu Iud IuId Iunds on LIe cIesL, LIe
so-cuIIed urk oI LIe covenunL, us IL LIreuLened Lo sIIp wIen IL wus beIng LrunsporLed by wugon,
und Ie IeII deud on LIe spoL. TIuL Loo wus u LrunscendenLuI dynumIc dIscIurge, occurrIng
LIrougI negIIgence - LIe negIIgence, Indeed, oI KIng DuvId, wIo wus Loo Iond oI pIuyIng LIe
Iurp, und Iud no reuI undersLundIng oI'LIIngs uny more; Ior Ie Iud LIe urk conveyed us LIe
PIIIIsLInes dId, by wugon InsLeud oI on beurIng-poIes uccordIng Lo LIe weII-Iounded prescrIpL oI
LIe PenLuLeucI. DuvId, Indeed, wus quILe us IgnorunL oI orIgIns und quILe us besoLLed, noL Lo suy
bruLuIIzed, us SoIomon IIs son. He wus Loo IgnorunL, Ior InsLunce, Lo reuIIze LIe dynumIc dungers
oI u generuI census oI LIe popuIuLIon; und by InsLILuLIng one Iud brougIL ubouL u serIous
bIoIogIcuI mIsIorLune, un epIdemIc wILI IIgI morLuIILy; u reucLIon oI LIe meLupIysIcuI powers oI
LIe peopIe, wIIcI mIgIL Iuve been Ioreseen. ¡or u genuIne IoIk sImpIy couId noL sLund sucI u
mecIunIzIng regIsLruLIon, LIe dIssoIuLIon by enumeruLIon oI LIe dynumIc wIoIe InLo sImIIur
IndIvIduuIs...
¡L mereIy gruLIIIed BreIsucIer wIen u Iudy InLerposed und suId sIe Iud noL known LIuL u
census wus sucI u sIn.
"SIn?" Ie responded, In un exuggeruLedIy quesLIonIng Lone. No, In LIe genuIne reIIgIon oI u
genuIne IoIk sucI coIourIess LIeoIogIcuI concepLIons us sIn und punIsImenL never occurred, In
LIeIr mereIy eLIIcuI cuusuI connecLIon. WIuL we Iud Iere wus LIe cuusuIILy oI error, u workIng
uccIdenL. ReIIgIon und eLIIcs represenLed LIe decIIne oI reIIgIon. AII moruIILy wus "u pureIy
InLeIIecLuuI" mIsundersLundIng oI LIe rILuuI. Wus LIere unyLIIng more god-Iorsuken LIun LIe
"pureIy InLeIIecLuuI"? ¡L Iud remuIned Ior LIe cIurucLerIess worId-reIIgIon, ouL oI "pruyer" - sit
tenic terbo - Lo muke u beggIng uppeuI Ior mercy, un "O ¡ord," "God Iuve mercy," u "HeIp" und
"GIve" und "Be so good." Our so-cuIIed pruyer ... "Purdon!" suId von RIedeseI, LIIs LIme wILI reuI
empIusIs. "QuILe rIgIL, oI course, buL 'Heud bure uL pruyer wus uIwuys my - "
"Pruyer," IInIsIed Dr. BreIsucIer reIenLIessIy, "Is LIe vuIgurIzed und ruLIonuIIsLIcuIIy wuLered-
down IuLe Iorm oI someLIIng very vILuI, ucLIve und sLrong: LIe mugIc InvocuLIon, LIe coercIon oI
God."
¡ reuIIy IeIL sorry Ior LIe Buron. Here wus IIs urIsLocruLIc conservuLIsm ouLbId by LIe IrIgILIuIIy
cIever pIuyIng oI uLuvIsLIc curds; by u rudIcuI conservuLIsm LIuL no Ionger Iud unyLIIng
urIsLocruLIc ubouL IL, buL ruLIer someLIIng revoIuLIonury; someLIIng more dIsrupLIng LIun uny
IIberuIIsm, und yeL, us LIougI In mockery, possessIng u IuudubIe conservuLIve uppeuI. AII LIuL
musL bewIIder LIe very depLIs oI IIs souI. ¡ ImugIned IL gIvIng IIm u sIeepIess nIgIL, buL my
sympuLIy muy Iuve been exuggeruLed. CerLuInIy noL everyLIIng LIuL BreIsucIer suId wus correcL.
One couId eusIIy Iuve dIspuLed IIm und poInLed ouL LIuL LIe spIrILed condemnuLIon oI LIe
sucrIIIce Is noL Iound IIrsL oI uII In LIe propIeLs buL In LIe PenLuLeucI ILseII; Ior IL Is Moses wIo
bIunLIy decIures LIuL LIe sucrIIIce Is secondury und Iuys uII LIe empIusIs on obedIence Lo God und
LIe keepIng oI HIs commundmenLs. BuL u sensILIve mun does noL IIke Lo dIsLurb unoLIer; IL Is
unpIeusunL Lo breuk In on u LruIn oI LIougIL wILI IogIcuI or IIsLorIcuI objecLIons; even In LIe unLI-
InLeIIecLuuI sucI u mun respecLs und spures LIe InLeIIecLuuI. Toduy we see, oI course, LIuL IL wus
LIe mIsLuke oI our cIvIIIzuLIon Lo Iuve prucLIsed uII Loo mugnunImousIy LIIs respecL und
Iorbeurunce. ¡or we Iound uILer uII LIuL LIe opposILe sIde meL us wILI sIeer Impudence und LIe
mosL deLermIned InLoIerunce.
¡ wus uIreudy LIInkIng oI uII LIese LIIngs wIen uL LIe begInnIng oI LIIs work ¡ mude un
excepLIon Lo my generuI proIessIon oI IrIendIIness Lowurds LIe JewIsI peopIe, conIessIng LIuL ¡
Iud run ucross some preLLy unnoyIng specImens, und LIe nume oI LIe scIoIur BreIsucIer sIIpped
premuLureIy Irom my pen. YeL cun one quurreI wILI LIe JewIsI spIrIL wIen ILs quIck IeurIng und
recepLIvILy Ior LIe comIng LIIng, LIe new, persIsLs uIso In LIe mosL exLruordInury sILuuLIons,
wIere LIe uvunL-gurde coIncIdes wILI LIe reucLIonury? ¡n uny cuse, IL wus uL LIe
ScIIugInIuuIens', und LIrougI LIIs very BreIsucIer, LIuL ¡ IIrsL cume In LoucI wILI LIe new worId
oI unLI-IumunILy, oI wIIcI my eusy-goIng souI LIII LIen Iud known noLIIng uL uII.

CHAPTIR XXIX
TIe MunIcI curnIvuI seuson, LIuL perIod beLween EpIpIuny und AsI Wednesduy, wus
ceIebruLed by common consenL wILI dunce und mIrLI, wILI IIumIng cIeeks und IIusIIng eyes, und
wILI uII sorLs oI pubIIc und prIvuLe enLerLuInmenLs. TIe curnIvuI oI 1q1q, In wIIcI ¡, LIe sLIII
youLIIuI ucudemy proIessor Irom ¡reIsIng, uIone or In compuny wILI AdrIun, Look purL, Ius
remuIned In my memory, u vIvId or ruLIer u porLenLous Imuge. ¡L wus Indeed LIe IusL curnIvuI
beIore LIe begInnIng oI LIe Iour-yeur wur wIIcI Ius now been LeIescoped wILI LIe Iorrors oI
Loduy InLo one IIsLorIcuI epocI; LIe IusL one beIore LIe so-cuIIed "IIrsL WorId Wur," wIIcI puL un
end Ior ever Lo LIe IdyI oI uesLIeLIc guIIeIessness In LIe cILy on LIe ¡sur und ILs dIonysIuc eusy-
goIngness - II ¡ muy puL IL IIke LIuL. And IL wus uIso LIe LIme In wIIcI cerLuIn IndIvIduuI
desLInIes In our cIrcIe oI ucquuInLunce unIoIded beIore my eyes, und, uImosL unIeeded ouLsIde
our cIrcIe, Ied up Lo nuked cuLusLropIe. ¡ go InLo IL In LIese puges becuuse wIuL Iuppened dId Lo
some exLenL LoucI LIe IIIe und desLIny oI my Iero, AdrIun ¡everküIn; yes, In one oI LIem, Lo my
ucLuuI knowIedge, Ie wus InvoIved und ucLIve In un obscure und IuLuI wuy.
¡ um noL reIerrIng Lo LIe cuse oI CIurIssu Rodde, LIe proud und IIIppunL bIonde wIo Loyed wILI
LIe mucubre. SIe sLIII IIved umong us, In Ier moLIer's Iouse, und sIured In LIe curnIvuI guIeLIes.
Soon uILerwurds, Iowever, sIe prepured Lo Ieuve Lown und IIII un engugemenL us jeune premiere
In LIe provInces, wIIcI Ier LeucIer, wIo pIuyed IuLIer purLs uL LIe HoILIeuLer, Iud goL Ior Ier.
TIe engugemenL proved u IuIIure; und Ier LeucIer, u mun oI experIence numed SeIIer, musL be
ubsoIved Irom uII responsIbIIILy Ior IL. He Iud wrILLen u IeLLer one duy Lo LIe ¡ruu SenuLor suyIng
LIuL IIs pupII wus exLruordInurIIy InLeIIIgenL und IuII oI enLIusIusm, buL LIuL sIe Iud noL enougI
nuLuruI gIIL Ior u successIuI cureer on LIe sLuge. SIe Iucked, Ie suId, LIe IIrsL requIsILe oI uII
drumuLIc urL, LIe InsLIncL oI LIe pIuy-ucLor - wIuL one cuIIs LIeuLre bIood; und In uII conscIence
Ie IeIL consLruIned Lo. udvIse uguInsL Ier conLInuIng. TIIs Iud Ied Lo u crise de nertes, un
ouLbursL oI despuIr on CIurIssu's purL, wIIcI wenL Lo LIe moLIer's IeurL, und SeIIer Iud been
usked Lo LermInuLe LIe LruInIng und use IIs connecLIons Lo geL Ier u sLurL us u begInner.
¡L Is now LwenLy-Iour yeurs sInce CIurIssu's IumenLubIe desLIny IuIIIIIed ILseII, us ¡ sIuII reIuLe In
ILs proper pIuce In my sLory. Here ¡ Iuve In mInd wIuL Iuppened Lo Ier deIIcuLe und suIIerIng
sIsLer ¡nez, wIo cuILIvuLed LIe pusL und ILs regreLs - und Lo poor RudI ScIwerdLIeger, oI wIom ¡
LIougIL wILI Iorror wIen ¡ menLIoned jusL now, uImosL InvoIunLurIIy, LIe sIure oI LIe recIuse
AdrIun ¡everküIn In LIese evenLs. TIe reuder Is uIreudy used Lo my unLIcIpuLIons und wIII noL
InLerpreL LIem us muddIe-Ieuded-ness und dIsregurd oI IILerury convenLIons. TIe LruLI Is sImpIy
LIuL ¡ IIx my eye In udvunce wILI Ieur und dreud, yes, wILI Iorror on cerLuIn LIIngs wIIcI ¡ sIuII
sooner or IuLer Iuve Lo LeII; LIey sLund beIore me und weIgI me down, und ¡ Lry Lo dIsLrIbuLe LIeIr
weIgIL by reIerrIng Lo LIem beIoreIund, oI course noL compreIensIbIy Lo unybody buL myseII. ¡
IeL LIem u IILLIe wuy ouL oI LIe bug und Iope by LIIs meuns Lo muke LIe LeIIIng more LoIerubIe Lo
myseII, Lo Luke ouL LIe sLIng und mILIguLe LIe dIsLress. So mucI In excuse oI u "IuuILy" LecInIque
oI nurruLIon und In expIunuLIon oI my dIIIIcuILIes. ¡ scurceIy need Lo suy LIuL AdrIun wus remoLe
Irom LIe begInnIngs oI LIe evenLs ¡ sIuII speuk oI Iere, beIng uwure oI LIem onIy Lo u cerLuIn
exLenL und LIuL onIy LIrougI me, wIo Iud mucI more socIuI curIosILy or sIuII ¡ suy Iumun sym-
puLIy.
As ¡ menLIoned eurIIer, neILIer oI LIe Lwo Rodde sIsLers, CIurIssu und ¡nez, goL on purLIcuIurIy
weII wILI LIeIr moLIer, LIe ¡ruu SenuLor, und LIey noL seIdom beLruyed LIuL LIe InIormuI,
sIIgILIy Iux und boIemIun uIr oI Ier suIon, LIe uprooLed exIsLence, upIoIsLered LIougI IL wus
wILI LIe remnunLs oI upper-mIddIe-cIuss eIegunce, goL on LIeIr nerves. TIey sLruIned uwuy Irom
LIe IybrId mIIIeu, buL In dIIIerenL dIrecLIons. TIe proud CIurIssu reucIed ouLwurds Lowurds u
deIInILe cureer us un ucLress, Ior wIIcI, us Ier musLer Iud IInuIIy been Iorced Lo suy, sIe Iucked u
reuI cuIIIng. WIIIe, on LIe oLIer Iund, LIe reIIned und pensIve ¡nez, wIo wus uL boLLom uIruId oI
IIIe, yeurned buck Lo LIe reIuge, LIe psycIoIogIcuI securILy oI un ussured bourgeoIs posILIon, LIe
rouLe Lo wIIcI wus murrIuge, Ior Iove II possIbIe, buL In God's nume even wILIouL Iove. ¡nez
wuIked LIIs roud, oI course wILI LIe cordIuI upprovuI oI Ier moLIer, und cume Lo grIeI, us Ier
sIsLer dId on Iers. ¡L Lurned ouL LrugIcuIIy enougI LIuL LIIs soIuLIon wus noL LIe rIgIL one: LIuL
neILIer Ior ¡nez personuIIy, nor Ior Ier cIrcumsLunces In vIew oI LIe LImes sIe IIved In, LIIs
upseLLIng und undermInIng socIuI epocI, dId IL IoId ouL uny Iope oI suLIsIucLIon.
AL LIIs LIme LIere upproucIed Ier u cerLuIn Dr. HeImuL ¡nsLILorIs, InsLrucLor In uesLIeLIcs und
LIe IIsLory oI urL uL LIe TecInIcuI ¡nsLILuLe In MunIcI, wIere Ie IecLured on esLIeLIc LIeory und
LIe IIsLory oI RenuIssunce urcIILecLure und Iunded round pIoLogrupIs In cIuss. He Iud good
prospecLs oI beIng cuIIed one duy Lo LIe unIversILy, oI becomIng proIessor, member oI LIe
Acudemy und so on; especIuIIy wIen Ie, u bucIeIor Irom u soIId Würzburg IumIIy, In expecLuncy
oI u good InIerILunce, sIouId Iuve enIunced IIs dIgnILy by seLLIng up u IouseIoId oI IIs own
wIere Ie couId guLIer socIeLy ubouL IIm. He wenL courLIng, und Ie dId noL worry ubouL LIe
IInuncIuI sILuuLIon oI LIe gIrI Ie courLed. On LIe conLrury, Ie beIonged Lo LIose men wIo preIer
In murrIuge Lo Iuve uII LIe economIc power In LIeIr Iunds und Lo Iuve LIeIr wIves dependenL on
LIem.
SucI un uLLILude does noL speuk Ior conscIous sLrengLI. And ¡nsLILorIs wus In IucL noL u sLrong
mun; one reuIIzed IL In LIe uesLIeLIc udmIruLIon Ie sIowed Ior everyLIIng bursLIng wILI ex-
uberunL vILuIILy. He wus bIond und doIIcIocepIuIIc, ruLIer smuII und very good Iorm, wILI
smooLI IuIr, purLed und sIIgILIy oIIed. A bIond mousLucIe drooped over IIs mouLI, und beIInd
LIe goId-rImmed gIusses LIe bIue eyes wore u genLIe, IIgI-mInded expressIon, wIIcI mude IL
Iurd Lo undersLund - or perIups precIseIy dId muke one undersLund - LIuL Ie respecLed und
revered bruLe Iorce, buL oI course onIy wIen IL wus beuuLIIuI. He beIonged Lo u Lype bred In LIose
decudes - LIe kInd oI mun wIo, us BupLIsL SpengIer once upLIy puL IL, "wIen consumpLIon gIows
In IIs cIeeks, keeps on sIrIekIng: 'How sLurk und beuuLIIuI Is IIIe!' "
WeII, ¡nsLILorIs dId noL sIrIek, on LIe conLrury Ie spoke ruLIer soILIy, wILI u IIsp, even wIen Ie
ceIebruLed LIe ¡LuIIun RenuIssunce us u LIme LIuL "reeked oI bIood und beuuLy." He wus noL
consumpLIve, Iud uL mosL, IIke neurIy everybody, been sIIgILIy LubercuIur In IIs youLI. BuL Ie
wus deIIcuLe und nervous, suIIered Irom IIs sympuLIeLIc nerve, In IIs soIur pIexus, Irom wIIcI so
muny unxIeLIes und eurIy Ieurs oI deuLI proceed, und wus un IubILue oI u sunuLorIum Ior LIe
weuILIy In Merun. SureIy Ie promIsed IImseII- und IIs docLors promIsed IIm - un
ImprovemenL In IIs IeuILI resuILIng Irom LIe reguIurILy oI u comIorLubIe murrIed IIIe.
¡n LIe wInLer oI 1q1¸-1q Ie upproucIed our ¡nez Rodde In u wuy LIuL mude one guess IL wouId
end In un engugemenL. However, LIe uIIuIr drugged on Ior some LIme, InLo LIe eurIy yeurs oI LIe
wur: doubL und conscIence-seurcIIng on boLI sIdes probubIy Induced u Iong und cureIuI LesLIng,
Lo see wIeLIer LIey were LruIy born Ior eucI oLIer. BuL wIen one suw LIe "puIr" LogeLIer In LIe
¡ruu SenuLor's suIon, Lo wIIcI ¡nsLILorIs Iud correcLIy sougIL un InLroducLIon, or In pubIIc
pIuces, oILen sILLIng upurL und LuIkIng, IL wus jusL LIIs quesLIon wIIcI seemed Lo be uL Issue
beLween LIem, wIeLIer dIrecLIy or noL, und LIe IrIendIy observer, seeIng someLIIng IIke u LrIuI
engugemenL In LIe oIIIng, InvoIunLurIIy dIscussed LIe subjecL Loo wILIIn IImseII.
TIuL IL wus ¡nez upon wIom HeImuL Iud cusL IIs eye mIgIL surprIse one uL IIrsL, buL one
undersLood IL beLLer In LIe end. SIe wus no RenuIssunce IemuIe - unyLIIng buL LIuL, In Ier
LemperumenLuI sensILIveness, wILI Ier veIIed gIunce, IuII oI meIuncIoIy und dIsLIncLIon; Ier Ieud
droopIng on LIe sIender, exLended sLuIk und LIe IILLIe pursed-up mouLI LIuL seemed Lo IndIcuLe u
IeebIe und IIucLuuLIng Iove oI mIscIIeI. BuL on LIe oLIer Iund, LIe wooer wouId noL Iuve known
Iow Lo cope wILI IIs own IdeuI eILIer; IIs muscuIIne superIorILy wouId Iuve been Iound soreIy
wunLIng - one onIy needed Lo ImugIne IIm puIred wILI u IuII und rounded nuLure IIke LIe
OrIundu's Lo smIIe und be convInced. And ¡nez wus by no meuns wILIouL IemInIne cIurm; IL wus
undersLundubIe LIuL u mun on LIe Iook-ouL mIgIL Iuve IuIIen In Iove wILI Ier Ieuvy IuIr, Ier
IILLIe dImpIIng Iunds, Ier urIsLocruLIc uIr oI seLLIng sLore by IerseII. SIe mIgIL be wIuL Ie
needed. Her cIrcumsLunces uLLrucLed IIm: numeIy, Ier puLrIcIun orIgIn, on wIIcI sIe IuId sLress,
LIougI IL wus sIIgILIy breuLIed upon by Ier presenL LrunspIunLed sLuLe; LIe IuInL suggesLIon LIuL
sIe Iud come down In LIe worId, und LIus LIreuLened no superIorILy. ¡ndeed, Ie mIgIL cIerIsI
LIe LIougIL LIuL In mukIng Ier IIs Ie wouId be ruIsIng und reIubIIILuLIng Ier. A wIdowed
moLIer, IuII-ImpoverIsIed, u IILLIe pIeusure-seekIng; u sIsLer wIo wus goIng on LIe sLuge; u cIrcIe
more or Iess boIemIun: LIese were connecLIons wIIcI dId noL, In combInuLIon wILI IIs own
dIgnILy, dIspIeuse IIm, especIuIIy sInce socIuIIy Ie IosL noLIIng by LIem, dId noL endunger IIs cu-
reer, und mIgIL be sure LIuL ¡nez, correcLIy und umpIy suppIIed by LIe ¡ruu SenuLor wILI u dowry
oI IInen, perIups even sIIver, wouId muke u modeI IousewIIe und IosLess.
TIus LIIngs Iooked Lo me, us seen Irom Dr. ¡nsLILorIs's sIde. ¡I ¡ LrIed Lo Iook uL IIm wILI LIe
gIrI's eyes, LIe LIIng ceused Lo be pIuusIbIe. ¡ couId noL, even usIng uII my ImugInuLIon, uscrIbe Lo
LIe mun, unImpressIve us Ie wus, ubsorbed In IImseII, reIIned Indeed, wILI un exceIIenL
educuLIon, buL pIysIcuIIy unyLIIng buL commundIng (Ie even Iud u LrIppIng guIL), uny uppeuI Ior
LIe oLIer sex; wIereus ¡ IeIL LIuL ¡nez, wILI uII Ier muIden reserve und uusLerILy, needed sucI un
uppeuI. Added Lo LIIs wus LIe conLrusL beLween LIe pIIIosopIIcuI vIews, LIe LIeoreLIc posLure
Lowurds IIIe, ussumed by LIe Lwo - wIIcI mIgIL be consIdered dIumeLrIcuI und exempIury. ¡L
wus, Lo puL IL brIeIIy, LIe unLILIesIs beLween uesLIeLIcs und eLIIcs, wIIcI In IucL IurgeIy
domInuLed LIe cuILuruI dIuIecLIcs oI LIe LIme und wus Lo some exLenL embodIed In LIese Lwo
young peopIe: LIe conIIIcL beLween u docLrInuIre gIorIIIcuLIon oI "IIIe" In ILs spIendId
unLIInkIngness, und LIe pessImIsLIc reverence Ior suIIerIng, wILI ILs depLI und wIsdom. One muy
suy LIuL uL ILs creuLIve source LIIs conLrusL Iud Iormed u personuI unILy und onIy LIrougI LIme
IeII ouL und sLrove uguInsL ILseII. Dr. ¡nsLILorIs wus In LIe very murrow oI IIs bones u mun oI LIe
RenuIssunce - one IeeIs IIke commenLIng "Good God!" - und ¡nez Rodde quILe expIIcILIy u cIIId
oI pessImIsLIc moIuIIsm. ¡or u worId LIuL "reeked oI bIood und beuuLy" sIe Iud no use uL uII, und
us Ior "IIIe" sIe wus seekIng sIeILer Irom IL In u sLrIcLIy orLIodox, modIsI, economIcuIIy weII-
upIoIsLered murrIuge, wIIcI sIouId proLecL Ier Irom uII possIbIe bIows oI IuLe. ¡L wus IronIc LIuL
LIe mun - LIe munIkIn - wIo seemed desIrous Lo oIIer Ier LIIs sIeILer ruved ubouL beuuLIIuI
ruLIIessness und ¡LuIIun poIsoners.
¡ doubL LIuL LIey, wIen LIey were uIone, dIscussed uny conLroversIes oI worId-wIde beurIng.
TIey LuIked oI LIIngs neurer uL Iund und sImpIy LrIed Lo see Iow IL wouId be Lo be enguged.
PIIIosopIIcuI dIscussIon us u socIuI dIversIon beIonged more Lo LIe Iurger group; und ¡ do
remember severuI occusIons wIen we were uII sILLIng LogeLIer, perIups round un uIcove LubIe In
u buIIroom, und LIe vIews oI LIe Lwo cIusIed In conversuLIon. ¡nsLILorIs mIgIL usserL LIuL onIy
Iumun beIngs wILI sLrong und bruLuI InsLIncLs couId creuLe greuL works; und ¡nez wouId proLesL,
conLendIng LIuL IL Iud oILen been IIgIIy CIrIsLIun cIurucLers, bowed down by conscIence,
reIIned by suIIerIng, LIeIr vIew oI IIIe murked by meIuncIoIy, Irom wIom Iud come greuL LIIngs
In urL. SucI unLILIeses ¡ Iound IdIe und epIemeruI; LIey seemed Lo do no jusLIce Lo ucLuuI IucL,
LIe seIdom Iuppy und cerLuInIy uIwuys precurIous buIunce oI vILuIILy und InIIrmILy wIIcI genIus
obvIousIy Is. BuL In LIIs dIscussIon one sIde represenLed LIuL wIIcI IL wus, numeIy sIckIIness, LIe
oLIer LIuL wIIcI IL worsIIpped, numeIy sLrengLI; und boLI musL be uIIowed Lo Iuve LIeIr voIce.
Once, ¡ recuII, us we suL LogeLIer (LIe KnoLerIcIs, ZInk und SpengIer, ScIIIdknupp und IIs
pubIIsIer RudbrucI were uIso oI LIe purLy) LIe IrIendIy dIIIerence urose noL beLween LIe Iovers,
us one Lended Lo cuII LIem, buL umusIngIy enougI beLween ¡nsLILorIs und RudI ScIwerdLIeger,
wIo wus sILLIng wILI us, very cIurmIng In IIs IunLsmun's cosLume. ¡ no Ionger cIeurIy remember
LIe dIscussIon; unyIow LIe dIsugreemenL urose Irom u quILe InnocenL remurk oI ScIwerdLIeger's,
ubouL wIIcI Ie Iud sureIy LIougIL IILLIe or noLIIng. ¡L wus ubouL "merIL," so mucI ¡ know;
someLIIng IougIL Ior, ucIIeved, uccompIIsIed by wIII-power und seII-conquesL, und RudoII, wIo
pruIsed LIe occurrence wurmIy, und cuIIed IL deservIng, couId noL In LIe IeusL undersLund wIuL
¡nsLILorIs meunL by denyIng uny vuIue Lo IL und reIusIng Lo recognIze uny vIrLue LIuL Iud Lo sweuL
Ior IL Lo LIuL exLenL. ¡rom LIe poInL oI vIew oI beuuLy, Ie suId, IL wus noL LIe wIII buL LIe gIIL LIuL
wus Lo be pruIsed; IL uIone couId be cuIIed merILorIous. EIIorL wus pIebeIun; urIsLocruLIc und
LIereIore uIone merILorIous wus soIeIy wIuL Iuppened ouL oI InsLIncL, InvoIunLurIIy und wILI
euse. Now, LIe good RudI wus no Iero or conqueror, und Iud never In IIs IIIe done unyLIIng LIuL
dId noL come eusy Lo IIm, us Ior InsLunce IIs cupILuI vIoIIn-pIuyIng. BuL wIuL LIe oLIer suId dId
go uguInsL LIe gruIn wILI IIm, und uILIougI Ie dImIy IeIL LIuL LIe subjecL Iud someLIIng "IIgIer"
ubouL IL, ouL oI IIs own reucI, Ie wouId noL IeL IImseII be LuIked down. He Iooked ¡nsLILorIs In
LIe Iuce, IIs IIp curIed ungrIIy, und IIs bIue eyes bored InLo LIe oLIer's, IIrsL LIe rIgIL und LIen
LIe IeIL, by Lurns.
"AILer uII, LIuL Is jusL nonsense," Ie suId, buL In u conLuIned, ruLIer subdued voIce, beLruyIng
LIuL Ie dId noL IeeI so sure oI IIs urgumenL. "MerIL Is merIL, und u gIIL Isn'L u merIL. You ure
uIwuys LuIkIng ubouL beuuLy, docLor; buL uILer uII IL Is beuuLIIuI wIen somebody LrIumpIs over
IImseII und does someLIIng beLLer LIun nuLure guve IIm Lo do. WIuL do you suy, ¡nez?" Ie
Lurned uppeuIIngIy Lo Ier wILI IIs quesLIon, In perIecL Innocence, Ior Ie Iud no Ideu oI LIe
IundumenLuIIy opposed nuLure oI Ier vIews und HeImuL's.
"You ure rIgIL," sIe unswered, u IuInL gIow rIsIng In Ier cIeeks. "AL IeusL ¡ LIInk so. A gIIL Is
pIeusIng; buL LIe word 'merIL' ImpIIes udmIruLIon oI u dIIIerenL kInd, noL uppIIcubIe Lo u gIIL nor
Lo LIe InsLIncLIve uL uII."
"TIere you Iuve IL!" crIed ScIwerdLIeger LrIumpIunLIy, und ¡nsLILorIs IuugIed buck:
"By uII meuns. You wenL Lo LIe rIgIL sIop."
TIere wus someLIIng sLrunge Iere; nobody couId IeIp IeeIIng IL, uL IeusL Ior LIe momenL; nor
dId LIe IIusI In ¡nez's cIeek ImmedIuLeIy subsIde. ¡L wus jusL In Ier IIne Lo dIsugree wILI Ier
Iover In uII sucI quesLIons. BuL IL wus noL In Ier IIne Lo ugree wILI LIe boy RudoII. He wus uLLerIy
unuwure LIuL LIere wus sucI u LIIng us ImmoruIIsm, und one cunnoL weII ugree wILI u LIesIs
wIIIe noL undersLundIng ILs opposILe - uL IeusL noL beIore IL Ius been expIuIned Lo IIm. ¡n ¡nez's
verdIcL, uILIougI IL wus IogIcuIIy quILe nuLuruI und jusLIIIed, LIere wus uILer uII someLIIng LIuL
puL one oII, und LIuL someLIIng wus underIIned Ior me by LIe bursL oI IuugILer wILI wIIcI Ier
sIsLer CIurIssu greeLed ScIwerdLIeger's undeserved LrIumpI. ¡L sureIy dId noL escupe LIIs IuugILy
person wILI LIe Loo sIorL cIIn wIen superIorILy, on grounds wIIcI Iuve noLIIng Lo do wILI
superIorILy, guve someLIIng uwuy und wus jusL us cerLuInIy oI LIe opInIon LIuL IL guve noLIIng
uwuy.
"TIere!" sIe crIed. "Jump up, RudoII, suy LIunk you, Iop up, Iuddy, und bow! ¡eLcI your
rescuer un Ice und enguge Ier Ior LIe nexL wuILz!"
TIuL wus uIwuys Ier wuy. SIe uIwuys sLood up Ior Ier sIsLer und suId "Up wILI you!" wIenever
IL wus u muLLer oI ¡nez's dIgnILy. SIe suId IL Lo ¡nsLILorIs, Loo, LIe suILor, wIen Ie beIuved wILI
someLIIng Iess LIun uIucrILy In IIs guIIunLrIes, or wus sIow In LIe upLuke. AILogeLIer, ouL oI prIde
sIe IeId wILI superIorILy, Iooked ouL Ior IL, und sIowed IerseII IIgIIy surprIsed wIen sIe
LIougIL IL dId noL geL ILs due. ¡I he wunLs someLIIng oI çou, sIe seemed Lo suy, you Iuve Lo Iop
up. ¡ weII remember Iow sIe once suId: "Hop up!" Lo ScIwerdLIeger on AdrIun's beIuII, Ie
IuvIng expressed u wIsI - ¡ LIInk IL wus u LIckeL Ior JeuneLLe ScIeurI Lo LIe ZupIensLosser
orcIesLru - und ScIwerdLIeger mude some objecLIon. "Yes, RudoII, you jusL Iop uIong und geL
IL," suId sIe. "¡or Ieuven's suke, Iuve you IosL your Iegs?"
"No, no," suId Ie, "¡ onIy, cerLuInIy, oI course ¡ - buL - "
"BuL me no buLs," sIe cuL IIm sIorL, condescendIngIy, IuII IurcIcuIIy buL uIso IuII
reproucIIuIIy. And AdrIun us weII us ScIwerdLIeger IuugIed; LIe IuLLer, mukIng IIs usuuI boyIsI
grImuce wILI LIe corner oI IIs mouLI und sIruggIng IIs sIouIder InsIde IIs juckeL, promIsed LIuL
Ie sIouId be served.
¡L wus us LIougI CIurIssu suw In RudoII LIe sorL oI suILor wIo Iud Lo "Iop"; und In IucL Ie
consLunLIy, In LIe mosL nuIve wuy, conIIdIngIy und unubusIedIy sued Ior AdrIun's Iuvour. AbouL
LIe reuI suILor wIo wus courLIng Ier sIsLer sIe oILen LrIed Lo worm un opInIon ouL oI me - und
¡nez IerseII dId LIe sume, In u sIyer, more reIIned wuy, druwIng buck uImosL uL once, us LIougI
sIe wunLed Lo Ieur, und yeL wunLed Lo Ieur und know noLIIng. BoLI sIsLers Iud conIIdence In
me; LIuL Is, LIey seemed Lo consIder me cupubIe oI jusL evuIuuLIons oI oLIers, u cupucILy, oI
course, wIIcI, II IL Is Lo InspIre IuII conIIdence, musL sLund ouLsIde uny sILuuLIon und vIew IL wILI
uncIouded eye. TIe roIe oI conIIdunL Is uIwuys uL once gruLIIyIng und puInIuI, Ior one uIwuys
pIuys IL wILI LIe premIse LIuL one does noL come InLo consIderuLIon oneseII. BuL Iow mucI beLLer
IL Is, ¡ Iuve oILen LoId myseII, Lo InspIre LIe worId wILI conIIdence LIun Lo rouse ILs pussIon! How
mucI beLLer Lo seem Lo IL "good" LIun "beuuLIIuI!
A "good" mun, LIuL wus In ¡nez Rodde's eyes probubIy one Lo wIom LIe worId sLunds In u
pureIy eLIIcuI reIuLIon, noL un uesLIeLIcuIIy sLImuIuLed one; Ience Ier conIIdence In me. BuL ¡
musL suy LIuL ¡ served LIe sIsLers somewIuL unequuIIy und expressed my opInIons ubouL
¡nsLILorIs In u Iorm proper Lo LIe person wIo usked Ior LIem. ¡n conversuLIon wILI CIurIssu ¡
spoke Iur more us ¡ reuIIy IeIL; expressed myseII us u psycIoIogIsL ubouL LIe moLIves oI IIs cIoIce
und IIs IesILuLIons (unyIow LIe IesILuLIon wus noL uII on one sIde), und dId noL scrupIe Lo poke u
IILLIe Iun uL IIs "MIss Nuncy" wuys und worsIIp oI "bruLe InsLIncL." SIe seemed Lo concur. WIen
¡nez IerseII LuIked Lo me, IL wus noL LIe sume. ¡ deIerred Lo IeeIIngs wIIcI pro jormc ¡ ussumed
In Ier, wILIouL ucLuuIIy beIIevIng In LIem; deIerred Lo LIe reusonubIe grounds on wIIcI In uII
probubIIILy sIe wouId murry LIe mun, und spoke wILI sober regurd oI IIs soIId quuIILIes, IIs
knowIedge, IIs Iumun decency, IIs cupILuI prospecLs. To gIve my words udequuLe wurmLI und
yeL noL Loo mucI wus u deIIcuLe Lusk; Ior IL seemed Lo me equuIIy u responsIbIIILy wIeLIer ¡
sLrengLIened LIe gIrI In Ier doubLs und deprecIuLed LIe securILy Ior wIIcI sIe yeurned, or on LIe
oLIer Iund encouruged Ier Lo gIve IerseII wIIIe cIerIsIIng sucI doubLs. ¡ even Iud some ground
Ior IeeIIng, now und LIen, LIuL ¡ run more oI u rIsk by encourugIng LIun by dIssuudIng.
TIe LruLI wus LIuL sIe soon Iud enougI oI my opInIons ubouL HeImuL ¡nsLILorIs und wenL on
wILI Ier conIIdences In u generuI wuy, uskIng my opInIon ubouL cerLuIn oLIer persons In LIe
cIrcIe, Ior InsLunce ZInk und SpengIer, or, Ior unoLIer exumpIe, ScIwerdLIeger. WIuL dId ¡ LIInk
ubouL IIs vIoIIn-pIuyIng, sIe usked; ubouL IIs cIurucLer, wIeLIer und Iow mucI ¡ respecLed IIm,
wIuL sIude oI serIousness or Iumour my regurd sIowed. ¡ unswered us besL ¡ couId, wILI uII
possIbIe jusLIce, quILe us ¡ Iuve spoken oI RudoII In LIese puges, und sIe IIsLened uLLenLIveIy,
enIurgIng on my IrIendIy commenduLIon wILI some remurks oI Ier own, Lo wIIcI uguIn ¡ couId
onIy ugree, LIougI ¡ wus ruLIer sLruck by Ier InsIsLence. ConsIderIng LIe gIrI's cIurucLer, Ier
conIIrmed und mIsLrusLIuI vIew oI IIIe, Ier Ideus were noL surprIsIng, buL uppIIed Lo LIIs
purLIcuIur subjecL ¡ musL suy LIey ruLIer puL me oII.
YeL uILer uII IL wus no wonder LIuL sIe, knowIng LIe uLLrucLIve young mun so mucI Ionger LIun
¡, und IIke CIurIssu In u broLIer-und-sIsLer reIuLIon wILI IIm, Iud observed IIm more cIoseIy und
Iud more muLLer Ior u conIIdenLIuI conversuLIon. He wus u mun wILIouL vIce, sIe suId (sIe used u
mIIder word, yeL IL wus cIeur LIuL wus wIuL sIe meunL); u cIeun mun, Ience IIs conIIdIngness, Ior
cIeunness wus conIIdIng (u LoucIIng word In Ier mouLI, sInce sIe IerseII wus noL conIIdIng uL
uII, suve by excepLIon Lo me). He dId noL drInk, LuIcIng noLIIng buL sIIgILIy sugured Leu wILIouL
creum, LIree LImes u duy; Ie dId noL smoke, or uL mosL onIy occusIonuIIy, Ie dId noL muke u IubIL
oI IL. ¡or uII sucI muscuIIne pucIIIers (¡ LIInk ¡ remember LIe word) - In sIorL, Ior nurcoLIcs -
IIIrLuLIon wus IIs subsLILuLe; Ie wus uLLerIy gIven Lo IIIrLuLIon, Ie wus u born IIIrL. SIe dId noL
meun Iove or IrIendsIIp; boLI oI LIese by IIs very nuLure und, so Lo speuk, under IIs Iunds
becume IIIrLuLIon. A poseur? Yes und no. CerLuInIy noL In LIe ordInury vuIgur sense. One need
onIy see IIm wILI BuIIInger, LIe munuIucLurer, wIo pIumed IImseII so enormousIy on IIs
money, und IIked Lo sIng:
A Iuppy IeurL und IeuILIy bIood Are beLLer LIun mucI goId und goods
jusL Lo muke peopIe envIous oI IIs money. RudoII wus noL IIke LIuL uL uII. BuL Ie mude IL Iurd
Ior one Lo IeeI sure oI IIm uII LIe LIme. HIs coqueLry, IIs nIce munners, IIs socIuI coxcombry, IIs
Iove oI socIeLy uILogeLIer were reuIIy someLIIng IrIgILIuI. DId ¡ noL IInd, sIe usked, LIuL LIIs
wIoIe Iree-und-eusy, uesLIeLIc IIIe Iere In LIIs pIuce, Ior InsLunce LIe smurL BIedermeIer
ceIebruLIon wIIcI we Iud IuLeIy uLLended In LIe CococeIIo CIub, wus In LorLurIng conLrusL Lo LIe
sudness und dIsIIIusIonmenLs oI IIIe? DId ¡ noL know, IIke Ier, LIuL sIudder uL LIe spIrILuuI
vucuILy wIIcI reIgned In LIe uveruge guLIerIng, In gIurIng conLrusL Lo LIe IeverIsI excILemenL
Induced by LIe wIne, LIe musIc, und LIe undercurrenLs oI Iumun reIuLIons? SomeLImes one
couId see Iow somebody LuIked wILI somebody eIse, preservIng uII LIe socIuI Iorms, wIIIe IIs
mInd wus enLIreIy ubsenL, IIxed on unoLIer person uL wIom Ie wus IookIng... And LIen LIe
dIsorder oI LIe scene uILerwurds, LIe rubbIsI sLrewn ubouL, LIe desoIuLIon oI un empLy suIon uL
LIe end oI un enLerLuInmenL! SIe conIessed LIuL someLImes uILer sIe goL Iome sIe wepL Ior un
Iour beIore IuIIIng usIeep...
So sIe wenL on, expressIng u generuI crILIcIsm und dIsupprovuI, und seemIng Lo Iuve IorgoLLen
RudoII. BuL wIen sIe cume buck Lo IIm one Iud IILLIe doubL LIuL Ie Iud been In Ier mInd uII LIe
LIme. WIen sIe cuIIed IIm u coxcomb, sIe suId, sIe meunL someLIIng very IurmIess, uImosL
IuugIubIe; yeL IL oILen mude one IeeI sud. ¡or InsLunce, Ie wus uIwuys LIe IusL comer uL u purLy,
Ie Iud Lo IeeI IImseII wuILed Ior, oLIer peopIe musL uIwuys wuIL Ior IIm. TIen Ie seL sLore by
rIvuIry und socIuI jeuIousy: wouId LeII Iow Ie Iud been uL sucI und sucI Iouses, yesLerduy uL LIe
¡ungewIescIes', or wIoever IIs IrIends were; or uL LIe RoIIwugens', wIo Iud LIe Lwo
LIorougIbred duugILers ("IL uIwuys upseLs me jusL Lo Ieur LIuL word"). BuL Ie uIwuys spoke
upoIogeLIcuIIy, us LIougI Ie reuIIy meunL: "¡ Iuve Lo uppeur LIere now und uguIn, uILer uII."
TIougI one couId be sure LIuL Ie suId LIe sume LIIng In LIe oLIer pIuce und LrIed Lo creuLe LIe
IIIusIon LIuL Ie IIked LIem besL - jusL us LIougI everybody seL greuL sLore by LIuL. YeL Ie wus so
sure Ie wus brIngIng joy Lo everybody LIuL LIere wus someLIIng conLugIous ubouL IL. He cume Lo
Leu uL IIve o'cIock und suId Ie Iud promIsed Lo be somewIere eIse beLween IuII pusL IIve und sIx,
uL LIe ¡ungewIescIes' or RoIIwugens' - probubIy IL wus noL Lrue uL uII. TIen Ie sLopped on unLII
IuII pusL sIx, Lo sIow LIuL Ie wouId ruLIer be Iere, LIuL Ie wus so enLerLuIned wIere Ie wus LIuL
LIe oLIers wouId Iuve Lo wuIL. And wus so cerLuIn LIuL one wouId be pIeused LIuL one ucLuuIIy
wus pIeused.
We IuugIed, buL ¡ dId so wILI reserve, Ior ¡ suw dIsLress wrILLen on Ier Iuce. SIe spoke us
LIougI sIe LIougIL IL necessury - dId sIe reuIIy LIInk IL necessury? - Lo wurn me noL Lo puL Loo
mucI conIIdence In ScIwerdLIeger's umIubIe uLLenLIons. TIere wus noLIIng Lo LIem. SIe Iud
once Iuppened Lo Ieur, Irom u IILLIe dIsLunce, word Ior word, Iow Ie ImpIored somebody, Lo
wIom sIe knew IIm Lo be proIoundIy IndIIIerenL, Lo remuIn uL u guLIerIng, noL Lo go uwuy; spoke
In u Iow voIce, wILI cIurmIng, InLImuLe InIIecLIons: "AI, do, come on, be sweeL, sLuy wILI me." So
now, wIen Ie spoke Lo Ier In LIe sume wuy, or Lo me, IL mIgIL be, LIe words wouId meun noLIIng
uL uII.
¡n sIorL, sIe conIessed Lo u puInIuI dIsLrusL oI IIs serIousness, or uny dIspIuy Ie mude oI
uLLenLIon und sympuLIy - Ior InsLunce, II one wus noL weII und Ie cume Lo see one. AII LIuL
Iuppened, us ¡ myseII wouId Ieurn, onIy Lo be "nIce" und becuuse IL wus proper und socIuIIy LIe
done LIIng, noL Irom uny Inner IeeIIng, one musL noL ImugIne IL. One mIgIL even expecL ucLuuI
bud LusLe. Somebody once wurned IIm In jesL noL Lo muke some gIrI - or IL mIgIL perIups Iuve
been u murrIed womun - unIuppy, und Ie Iud ucLuuIIy unswered, urrogunLIy: "OI, LIere ure so
muny unIuppy!" SIe Iud Ieurd IL wILI Ier own eurs. One couId onIy LIInk: "God suve me Irom
LIe IumIIIuLIon oI beIongIng Lo u mun IIke LIuL!"
BuL sIe dId noL wunL Lo be Iurd - perIups LIe word "IumIIIuLIon" wus Loo sLrong. ¡ musL noL
mIsundersLund Ier, sIe dId noL doubL LIuL LIere wus u cerLuIn Iund oI nobIIILy In RudoII's cIur-
ucLer. SomeLImes even In compuny one couId uILer IIs Ioud und common mood Lo u genLIer, more
serIous one, sImpIy by u quIeL word or surprIsed gIunce. ¡L Iud reuIIy Iuppened IIke LIuL more
LIun once, Ior RudoII wus exLruordInurIIy suscepLIbIe; und LIen LIe ¡ungewIescIes und
RoIIwugens und wIuLever LIeIr numes were becume Ior LIe LIme mere sIudows und pIunLoms
Ior IIm. YeL IL wus enougI Ior IIm Lo breuLIe oLIer uIr, be exposed Lo oLIer InIIuences, Lo brIng
ubouL u compIeLe esLrungemenL, u IopeIess uIooIness In LIe pIuce oI conIIdence und muLuuI
undersLundIng. TIen Ie wouId IeeI IL, Ior Ie reuIIy Iud IIne IeeIIngs, und wouId Lry remorseIuIIy
Lo puL LIIngs rIgIL. ¡L wus Iunny, und LoucIIng, buL Lo resLore good reIuLIons Ie mIgIL repeuL
some more or Iess upL pIruse you Iud used, or u quoLuLIon you Iud once mude Irom u book, Lo
sIow LIuL Ie Iud noL IorgoLLen, LIuL Ie wus uL Iome umong LIe IIgIer LIIngs. ReuIIy IL wus
enougI Lo muke one weep. And wIen Ie Look Ieuve Ior LIe evenIng, Ie sIowed IIs reudIness Lo
be sorry und do beLLer: Ie cume und suId good-bye und mude IILLIe jokes In dIuIecL, uL wIIcI one
ruLIer wInced, Ior perIups one wus suIIerIng Irom IuLIgue. BuL LIen wIen Ie Iud sIuken Iunds
uII round Ie cume buck und suId goodbye uguIn, quILe sImpIy, so LIuL one wus ubIe Lo respond.
And LIuL meunL u good exIL Ior IIm, wIIcI Ie sImpIy Iud Lo Iuve. AL LIe Lwo oLIer Iouses Ie wus
goIng Lo Ie probubIy dId LIe sume LIIng ...
Huve ¡ suId enougI? TIIs Is no noveI, In wIose composILIon LIe uuLIor reveuIs LIe IeurLs oI IIs
cIurucLers IndIrecLIy, by LIe ucLIon Ie porLruys. ¡n u bIogrupIy, oI course, ¡ musL InLroduce
LIIngs dIrecLIy, by nume, und sImpIy sLuLe sucI psycIoIogIcuI IucLors us Iuve u beurIng on LIe IIIe
¡ um descrIbIng. BuL uILer LIe sInguIur expressIons wIIcI my memory Ieuds me Lo wrILe down,
expressIons oI wIuL ¡ mIgIL cuII u specIIIc InLensILy, LIere cun be no doubL us Lo LIe IucL Lo be
communIcuLed. ¡nez Rodde wus In Iove wILI young ScIwerdLIeger. TIere were onIy Lwo
quesLIons Lo be usked: IIrsL, dId sIe know IL, und second, wIen, uL wIuL poInL Iud Ier orIgInuI
broLIer-sIsLer reIuLIon wILI IIm ussumed LIIs urdenL und dIsLressIuI coIour?
TIe IIrsL quesLIon ¡ unswer wILI u yes. So weII-reud u gIrI, one mIgIL suy psycIoIogIcuIIy
LruIned, keepIng wuLcI wILI u poeL's eye upon Ier own experIences musL cerLuInIy Iuve Iud un
InsIgIL InLo LIe growLI oI Ier own IeeIIng - Iowever surprIsIng, yes, unbeIIevubIe LIe
deveIopmenL mIgIL Iuve seemed Lo Ier uL IIrsL. TIe uppurenL nuIveLe wILI wIIcI sIe bured Ier
IeurL Lo me wus no evIdence oI Ignorunce; Ior wIuL Iooked IIke sImpIIcILy wus purLIy u
compuIsIve desIre Lo communIcuLe und purLIy u moLIon oI conIIdence In me, u sLrungeIy
dIsguIsed conIIdence, Ior Lo some exLenL sIe wus preLendIng LIuL sIe LIougIL me sImpIe enougI
noL Lo undersLund; und LIuL wus In ILseII u sorL oI conIIdence. BuL ucLuuIIy sIe knew und wus gIud
Lo know LIuL LIe LruLI wus noL escupIng me sInce, Lo my Ionour be IL spoken, sIe LrusLed Ier
secreL wILI me. SIe mIgIL do so, oI course, mIgIL be cerLuIn oI my dIscreLIon und my Iumun
sympuLIy, Iowever Iurd IL nuLuruIIy Is Ior u mun Lo enLer InLo LIe IeeIIngs oI u womun on IIre
wILI Iove Ior somebody oI IIs own sex. ¡L Is mucI eusIer Ior us Lo IoIIow LIe IeeIIngs oI u mun Ior
u womun - even LIougI Ie be enLIreIy IndIIIerenL Lo Ier IImseII - LIun Lo puL IImseII In LIe
pIuce oI u womun In Iove wILI unoLIer mun. One does noL uL boLLom "undersLund" LIuL, one jusL
uccepLs IL us u weII-bred mun sIouId, In objecLIve respecL Ior u Iuw oI nuLure - und Indeed LIe
uLLILude oI u mun Is usuuIIy more LoIerunL und benevoIenL LIun LIuL oI u womun, wIo mosLIy
cusLs u jeuIous eye on u IrIend wIo LeIIs Ier u mun Is In Iove wILI Ier, even LIougI sIe cures
noLIIng uL uII Ior LIe mun.
¡ dId noL IuII, LIen, In IrIendIy good wIII, even LIougI ¡ wus prevenLed by nuLure Irom
undersLundIng In LIe sense oI IeIIow-IeeIIng. My God, IILLIe ScIwerdLIeger! HIs IucIuI sLrucLure
Iud someLIIng oI LIe pug ubouL IL, IIs voIce wus guLLuruI, Ie wus more IIke u boy LIun u mun, LIe
IoveIy bIue oI IIs eyes, IIs good sLruIgIL growLI und cupLIvuLIng vIoIIn-pIuyIng und wIIsLIIng, IIs
generuI nIceness udmILLed und ugreed. WeII, LIen, ¡nez Rodde Ioved IIm. NoL bIIndIy, buL Ior
LIuL reuson suIIerIng LIe more; und my Inwurd uLLILude wus LIuL oI Ier mockIng sIsLer CIurIssu,
wIo Iooked down Ier nose uL LIe oLIer sex: ¡ sIouId Iuve IIked Lo suy Lo IIm: "Hop, mun! Hop
up und do your duLy - wIuL do you LIInk oI yourseII?"
BuL IoppIng wus noL so sImpIe, even II RudoII Iud ucknowIedged LIe obIIguLIon. ¡or LIere wus
HeImuL ¡nsLILorIs, LIe brIdegroom, or brIdegroom in spe, ¡nsLILorIs LIe suILor. And Iere ¡ come
buck Lo LIe quesLIon: sInce wIen Iud ¡nez's sIsLerIy reIuLIons wILI RudoII Lurned InLo pussIonuLe
Iove? My Iumun powers oI InLuILIon LoId me: IL Iud Iuppened wIen Dr. HeImuL upproucIed Ier,
us mun Lo womun, und begun Lo woo Ier. ¡ wus und remuIn convInced LIuL ¡nez wouId never Iuve
IuIIen In Iove wILI ScIwerdLIeger wILIouL LIe enLry oI ¡nsLILorIs InLo Ier IIIe. He wooed Ier, buL
In u sense Ior unoLIer. A mun noL pussIonuLe IImseII couId by IIs courLsIIp und LIe LruIns oI
LIougIL connecLed wILI IL urouse LIe womun In Ier: IL mIgIL go LIuL Iur. BuL Ie couId noL urouse
IL Ior IImseII, LIougI on grounds oI good sense sIe wus reudy Lo uccepL IIm - LIuL Iur IL dId noL
go. ¡nsLeud Ier uwukened IemInInILy Lurned sLruIgILwuy Lo unoLIer mun, Lowurds wIom LIus Iur
sIe Iud conscIousIy IeIL onIy LrunquII sIsLerIy IeeIIngs - und now oLIers Iud been reIeused In
Ier. ¡L wus noL LIuL sIe Iound IIm "LIe rIgIL one" or worLIy oI Ier Iove. No, IL wus Ier
meIuncIoIy nuLure, seekIng unIuppIness, wIIcI IIxed upon IIm us ILs objecL; upon IIm Irom
wIom sIe Iud Ieurd wILI dIsgusL LIe words: "TIere ure so muny unIuppy ones!"
And sLrunger sLIII: Ier InudequuLe suILor's predIIecLIon Ior souIIessness und LIe beuuLy oI
InsLIncL, so repugnunL Lo Ier own vIews - Iud sIe noL IuIIen vIcLIm Lo IL IerseII, In Ier Iove Ior
RudoII? SIe wus, In u wuy, beLruyIng ¡nsLILorIs wILI IIs own convIcLIons; Ior dId noL RudoII
represenL Lo Ier wIse und dIsIIIusIoned guze someLIIng IIke sweeL unLIInkIng IIIe ILseII?
Compured wILI ¡nsLILorIs, wIo wus u mere InsLrucLor In LIe beuuLIIuI, RudoII Iud on IIs sIde
LIe udvunLuge oI urL uL IIrsL Iund: urL, nourIsIer oI LIe pussIons, Lrunscender oI LIe Iumun. ¡or
by IIs urL LIe person oI LIe beIoved Is eIevuLed, Irom urL LIe emoLIons ever druw IresI Iood, wIen
LIe urLIsL's own IndIvIduuIILy Is ussocIuLed wILI LIe joys IIs urL purveys. ¡nez uL boLLom despIsed
LIe uesLIeLIc LruIIIc oI LIe sense-IovIng cILy InLo wIIcI sIe Iud been LrunspIunLed by Ier moLIer's
cruvIng Ior u Iess sLruIL-Iuced IIIe. BuL Ior LIe suke oI Ier bourgeoIs securILy sIe Look purL In LIe
IesLIvILIes oI u communILy wIIcI wus jusL one greuL urL-socIeLy, und LIIs IL wus emperIIIed LIe
securILy sIe sougIL. My memory preserves pregnunL und dIsquIeLIng Imuges oI LIIs LIme: ¡ see
us, LIe Roddes, LIe KnoLerIcIs perIups, und myseII, uILer u purLIcuIurIy brIIIIunL perIormunce oI
u TcIuIkovsky sympIony In LIe ZupIensLosser concerL IuII, sLundIng In LIe crowd In one oI LIe
IronL rows und uppIuudIng. TIe conducLor Iud moLIoned LIe orcIesLru Lo sLund up Lo receIve LIe
LIunks oI LIe uudIence Ior ILs beuuLIIuI work. ScIwerdLIeger, u IILLIe Lo LIe IeIL oI LIe IIrsL vIoIIn,
wIose pIuce Ie wus soon Lo Luke, sLood wILI IIs InsLrumenL under IIs urm, wurm und beumIng,
Iuce Lowurds LIe IuII und noddIng Lo us wILI noL quILe permIssIbIe IumIIIurILy, wIIIe ¡nez, uL
wIom ¡ couId noL resIsL sLeuIIng u gIunce, wILI Ier Ieud LIrusL ouL, Ier mouLI mIscIIevousIy
pursed, kepL Ier eyes obsLInuLeIy dIrecLed uL some oLIer poInL on LIe sLuge, perIups on LIe
Ieuder, or no, IurLIer uIong, on LIe Iurps. Or unoLIer LIme ¡ see RudoII IImseII, uII on IIre over u
cIussIc perIormunce by u guesL coIIeugue, sLundIng In LIe IronL oI un uImosL empLIed IuII,
uppIuudIng up uL LIe sLuge wIere LIe soIoIsL sLood bowIng Ior LIe LenLI LIme. Two sLeps uwuy,
umong LIe dIsurruy oI cIuIrs, sLunds ¡nez, wIo sees IIm und wuILs Ior IIm Lo sLop cIuppIng, Lurn
round und speuk Lo Ier. He does noL Lurn, Ie conLInues Lo uppIuud. BuL ouL oI LIe corner oI IIs
eye Ie Iooks - or perIups noL quILe Iooks, perIups IIs bIue eyes ure onIy LIe sIIgILesL sIude
Lurned Irom u dIrecL guze up uL LIe pIuLIorm und Lowurds LIe corner wIere sIe sLunds und wuILs.
He does noL puuse In IIs enLIusIusLIc ucLIvILy. AnoLIer Iew seconds und sIe Lurns uwuy, puIe wILI
unger, IInes beLween Ier brows, und moves Lowurds LIe door. AL once Ie sLops cIuppIng und
IoIIows Ier. AL LIe door Ie overLukes Ier; sIe puLs on un uIr oI cIIIIIng surprIse Lo IInd IIm Iere,
Lo IInd LIuL Ie exIsLs uL uII. ReIuses Lo speuk, reIuses Ier Iund, Ier eyes, und IusLens ouL.
¡ see LIuL IL wus III-judged oI me Lo Lry Lo seL down uII LIe LrIIIIng mInuLIue wIIcI were LIe
IurvesL oI my observunL eye. TIey ure noL worLI prInLIng, LIe reuder muy eusIIy IInd LIem
puerIIe or be unnoyed by wIuL seems IIke IdIe und borIng specuIuLIon. BuL Ie musL consIder LIuL
¡ um suppressIng u Iundred oLIers LIuL goL cuugIL us IL were In LIe neL oI my percepLIons, LIe
percepLIons oI u sympuLIeLIc und benevoIenL IrIend; LIunks Lo LIe cuIumILy LIey udded up Lo, ¡
cunnoL so eusIIy dIsmIss LIem Irom my mInd. ¡or yeurs ¡ wuLcIed LIe oncomIng oI u cuLusLropIe,
InsIgnIIIcunL, IL Is Lrue, In LIe IIgIL oI worId evenLs; und ¡ IeId my peuce ubouL wIuL ¡ suw und
Ieured. OnIy Lo AdrIun dId ¡ once speuk, uL LIe begInnIng, In PIeIIIerIng, uILIougI ¡ Iud on LIe
wIoIe smuII IncIInuLIon, uIwuys IeeIIng u cerLuIn reIucLunce Lo dIscuss LIe Iove-uIIuIrs oI our
cIrcIe wILI IIm, wIo IIved In monkIsI deLucImenL Irom everyLIIng oI LIe sorL. YeL ¡ dId so: ¡ LoId
IIm In conIIdence LIuL ¡nez Rodde, uILIougI ubouL Lo enguge IerseII Lo ¡nsLILorIs, wus, so Iur us
my observuLIon wenL, IopeIessIy und IuLuIIy In Iove wILI RudI ScIwerdLIeger. We were sILLIng In
LIe AbboL's room, pIuyIng cIess.
"TIuL's news!" Ie suId. "You probubIy wunL me Lo mIss my move und Iose my cusLIe."
He smIIed, sIook IIs Ieud, und udded: "Poor souI!"
TIen, us Ie consIdered IIs nexL pIuy, wILI u puuse beLween LIe senLences: "BuL LIuL's no joke
Ior IIm. - He musL see Lo IL LIuL Ie geLs ouL oI IL wIoIe."

CHAPTIR XXX
TIe IIrsL gIowIng AugusL duys oI 1q1q Iound me cIungIng Irom one crowded LruIn Lo unoLIer,
wuILIng In sLuLIons swurmIng wILI peopIe, LIeIr pIuLIorms pIIed wILI IeIL-beIInd Iugguge, on u
IeudIong journey Irom ¡reIsIng Lo Nuumburg In TIurIngIu, wIere us reserve vIce-sergeunL-
mujor ¡ wus joInIng my regImenL.
Wur Iud broken ouL. TIe IuLe LIuL so Iong Iud brooded over Europe wus upon us, IL ruged. ¡n
LIe guIse oI u dIscIpIIned execuLIon oI uII LIe pIuns prevIousIy mude und reIeursed, IL ruged
LIrougI our cILIes und Lowns, us Lerror und exuILuLIon, us LIe InevILubIe, us "desLIny"; us
uwureness oI power und reudIness Ior sucrIIIce, In LIe Ieuds und IeurLs oI men. ¡L muy weII be, ¡
IIke Lo LIInk so, LIuL eIsewIere, In boLI enemy und uIIIed counLrIes, LIIs sIorL cuL oI IuLe wus IeIL
more us u cuLusLropIe und "çrcnd mclheur." We In LIe IIeId Ieurd LIese words so oILen Irom LIe
IIps oI ¡rencIwomen, wIo dId Iuve LIe wur on LIeIr soII, In LIeIr Iomes und on LIeIr IeurLIs:
"Ah, monsieur, lc çuerre, quel çrcnd mclheurl" BuL In our Germuny ILs eIIecL wus undenIubIy
und preemInenLIy enLIusIusm, IIsLorIc urdour, joy uL beIng reIeused Irom duII everyduy, und
Irom u worId-sLugnuLIon LIuL couId go on no Ionger; us Iope Ior LIe IuLure, un uppeuI Lo duLy und
munIood, In sIorL us u IoIIduy Ior Ieroes. My ¡reIsIng Lop-Iormers Iud IoL Ieuds und gIowIng
eyes. YouLIIuI LIIrsL Ior udvenLure, ImpuLIence Lo be oII, were nuIveIy mIngIed wILI suLIsIucLIon
uL un eurIy reIeuse Irom scIooI. TIey sLormed LIe recruILIng sLuLIons, und ¡ wus gIud LIuL LIey
need noL Iook down on me Ior u sLuy-uL-Iome.
¡ wouId by no meuns deny LIuL ¡ IuIIy sIured In LIe popuIur exuILuLIon wIIcI ¡ jusL sougIL Lo
cIurucLerIze, LIougI ILs more exLruvugunL ebuIIILIons were IoreIgn Lo my nuLure. My conscIence,
speukIng generuIIy, wus noL perIecLIy cIeur. SucI u "mobIIIzuLIon" Ior wur, Iowever sLern und
grIm u Iuce IL weurs, musL uIwuys Iuve someLIIng ubouL IL IIke un unIIcensed IoIIduy; Iowever
unreservedIy one's duLy, IL seems u IILLIe IIke pIuyIng LruunL, IIke runnIng uwuy, IIke yIeIdIng Lo
unbrIdIed InsLIncL. A seLLIed mun IIke me scurceIy IeIL uL euse In IL uII; und usIde Irom personuI
und LemperumenLuI dIscomIorL, ¡ dImIy IeIL u moruI doubL: Iud we us u nuLIon been so weII-
beIuved up Lo now LIuL LIIs ubundon, LIese LrunsporLs, were IegILImuLe? BuL now LIe momenL
Iud come Ior reudIness Lo sucrIIIce und dIe; LIuL currIes one uIong over everyLIIng, IL Is so Lo
speuk LIe IusL word, uILer IL LIere Is no more Lo be suId. ¡I LIe wur Is IeIL more or Iess cIeurIy us u
generuI vIsILuLIon, In wIIcI LIe IndIvIduuI, us weII us LIe IndIvIduuI peopIe, Is reudy Lo sLund IIs
mun und uLone wILI IIs bIood Ior LIe weuknesses und sIns oI LIe LIme, IncIudIng IIs own; II Ie
LIInks oI IImseII us u sucrIIIce by wIIcI LIe oId Adum Is puL uwuy und Irom wIIcI In unILy u new
und IIgIer IIIe wIII be wresLed, LIen our everyduy moruIs ure ouLbId by LIe ubnormuI und musL
be sIIenL. NeILIer wouId ¡ IorgeL LIuL LIen we wenL wILI reIuLIveIy pure IeurLs und cIeun Iunds Lo
wur und dId noL LIInk we Iud so beIuved uL Iome LIuL u generuI und cuLusLropIIc bIood-IeLLIng
musL needs be regurded us LIe InevILubIe IogIcuI consequence oI our domesLIc doIngs. TIus IL wus
IIve yeurs ugo, God IeIp us, buL noL LIIrLy! JusLIce und Iuw, LIe Iubeus corpus, Ireedom und
Iumun dIgnILy Iud been LoIerubIy Ionoured In LIe Iund. OI course LIe sword-wuvIng oI LIuL
IundumenLuIIy unsoIdIerIy pIuy-ucLor, mude Ior unyLIIng buL wur, wIo suL on LIe ImperIuI LIrone
wus puInIuI Lo LIe mun oI cuILure; moreover IIs uLLILude Lo LIe LIIngs oI LIe mInd wus LIuL oI u
reLurded menLuIILy. BuL IIs InIIuence on LIem Iud exIuusLed ILseII In empLy gesLures oI
reguIuLIon. CuILure Iud been Iree, sIe Iud sLood uL u respecLubIe IeIgIL; und LIougI sIe Iud Iong
been used Lo u compIeLe ubsence oI reIuLIons wILI LIe governIng power, Ier younger
represenLuLIves mIgIL see In u greuL nuLIonuI wur, sucI us now broke ouL, u meuns oI ucIIevIng u
Iorm oI IIIe In wIIcI sLuLe und cuILure mIgIL become one. ¡n LIIs we dIspIuyed LIe preoccupuLIon
wILI seII wIIcI Is pecuIIur Lo us: our nuIve egoIsm IInds IL unImporLunL, yes, Lukes IL enLIreIy Ior
grunLed, LIuL Ior LIe suke oI our deveIopmenL (und we ure uIwuys deveIopIng) LIe resL oI LIe
worId, IurLIer on LIun ourseIves und noL uL uII possessed by LIe dynumIc oI cuLusLropIe, musL
sIed ILs bIood. TIey Luke LIuL III oI us, noL quILe unIuIrIy; Ior eLIIcuIIy speukIng, LIe onIy wuy u
peopIe cun ucIIeve u IIgIer Iorm oI communuI IIIe Is noL by u IoreIgn wur, buL by u cIvII one -
even wILI bIoodsIed. TIe Ideu Is repugnunL Lo us; yeL we LIougIL noLIIng uL uII, on LIe conLrury
we Iound IL gIorIous, LIuL our nuLIonuI unIIIcuLIon - und even so u purLIuI, u compromIse unIIIcu-
LIon - cosL LIree serIous wurs. We were uIreudy Iong sInce u greuL power, we were quILe used Lo
IL, und IL dId noL muke us us Iuppy us we Iud expecLed. TIe IeeIIng LIuL IL Iud noL mude us more
wInnIng, LIuL our reIuLIon Lo LIe worId Iud ruLIer worsened LIun Improved, Iuy, unconIessed,
deep In our IeurLs. A new breukLIrougI seemed due: we wouId become u domInuLIng worId
power - buL sucI u posILIon wus noL Lo be ucIIeved by meuns oI mere moruI "Iome-work." Wur,
LIen, und II needs musL, wur uguInsL everybody, Lo convInce everybody und Lo wIn; LIuL wus our
IoL, our "sendIng" (LIe very word we use Is GermunIc, LIe Ideu pre-CIrIsLIun, LIe wIoIe concepL u
LrugIcuIIy myLIoIogIcuI, musIcuI-drumuLIc moLII); LIuL wus wIuL IuLe Iud wIIIed, und we - onIy
we! - enLIusIusLIcuIIy responded und seL IorLI. We were bursLIng wILI LIe conscIousness LIuL
LIIs wus Germuny's cenLury, LIuL IIsLory wus IoIdIng Ier Iund ouL over us; LIuL uILer SpuIn,
¡runce, EngIund, IL wus our Lurn Lo puL our sLump on LIe worId und be ILs Ieuder; LIuL LIe
LwenLIeLI cenLury wus ours; LIuL now, uL LIe end oI LIe bourgeoIs epocI begun some Iundred
und LwenLy yeurs beIore, LIe worId wus Lo renew ILseII In our sIgn, In LIe sIgn oI u never up Lo LIe
end quILe deIIned mIIILury socIuIIsm.
TIIs pIcLure, noL Lo cuII IL un Ideu, possessed uII our Ieuds, compunIonubIy sIde by sIde wILI
unoLIer: LIe beIIeI LIuL we were Iorced InLo wur, LIuL sucred necessILy cuIIed us Lo Luke our weup-
ons - LIose weII-poIIsIed weupons wIose reudIness und exceIIence uIwuys Induced u secreL
LempLuLIon Lo LesL LIem. TIen LIere wus LIe Ieur oI beIng overrun Irom uII sIdes, Irom wIIcI IuLe
onIy our enormous sLrengLI proLecLed us, our power oI curryIng LIe wur sLruIgILwuy InLo oLIer
Iunds. ALLuck und deIence were LIe sume, In our cuse: LogeLIer LIey mude up LIe IeeIIng oI u
provIdence, u cuIIIng, u greuL Iour, u sucred necessILy. TIe peopIes beyond our borders mIgIL
consIder us dIsLurbers oI LIe peuce II LIey cIose, enemIes oI IIIe und noL Lo be borne wILI; buL we
Iud LIe meuns Lo knock LIe worId on LIe Ieud unLII IL cIunged ILs mInd und cume noL onIy Lo
udmIre buL Lo Iove us.
¡eL nobody LIInk ¡ um beIng jocose. TIere Is no occusIon Ior LIuL, IIrsL oI uII becuuse ¡ cun by
no meuns preLend Lo Iuve excIuded myseII Irom LIe generuI emoLIon. ¡ genuIneIy sIured IL, even
LIougI my normuI sLuId proIessorIuI uLLILude wouId Iuve IeId me uIooI Irom uny Ioud
munIIesLuLIon, or even Iuve cuused In me some sIIgIL proLesL, u subconscIous mIsgIvIng uL
LIInkIng und IeeIIng wIuL everybody eIse LIougIL und IeIL. PeopIe oI my sorL Iuve doubLs
wIeLIer every mun's LIougILs ure LIe rIgIL ones. And sLIII, IL Is u greuL pIeusure Lo LIe superIor
IndIvIduuI, jusL once - und wIere sIouId one IInd LIIs once, II noL Iere und now? - Lo Iose
IImseII uILogeLIer In LIe generuI.
¡ sLopped Lwo duys In MunIcI Lo muke my IureweIIs In vurIous quurLers und suppIy some
deLuIIs oI my equIpmenL. TIe cILy wus seeLIIng. TIere wus u reIIgIous soIemnILy In LIe uIr, us weII
us cuses oI punIc, ruge, und dreud; us Ior InsLunce wIen LIe wIId rumour sprung up LIuL LIe wuLer
suppIy wus poIsoned, or u SerbIun spy wus supposed Lo Iuve been dIscovered In LIe crowd. ¡n
order noL Lo be Luken Ior one und cuL down by mIsLuke, Dr. BreIsucIer, wIom ¡ meL on LIe
¡udwIgsLrusse, Iud decoruLed IIs couL wILI numerous IILLIe red, wIILe, und bIuck roseLLes und
IIugs. TIe sLuLe oI wur, LIe pussIng oI LIe supreme uuLIorILy Irom LIe cIvII Lo LIe mIIILury, und Lo
u GeneruI SLuII IssuIng procIumuLIons, wus uccepLed wILI mIngIed conIIdence und uppreIensIon.
¡L wus sooLIIng Lo know LIuL LIe members oI LIe royuI IumIIy, wIo us communders Iud IeIL Ior
IeudquurLers, wouId Iuve compeLenL cIIeIs oI sLuII uL LIeIr sIde und couId commIL no royuI
InepLnesses. Under LIose cIrcumsLunces LIey were IoudIy cIeered on LIeIr wuy. ¡ suw regImenLs,
wILI noseguys LIed Lo LIeIr rIIIe-burreIs, murcIIng ouL oI burruck guLes, uccompunIed by women
wILI IundkercIIeIs Lo LIeIr Iuces, wIIIe cIvIIIun crowds quIckIy guLIered und sIouLed godspeed,
und LIe peusunL Iuds promoLed Lo IerosIIp smIIed buck, proud, sLupId, und sIy. ¡ suw u very
young oIIIcer, In murcIIng kIL, sLundIng on LIe buck pIuLIorm oI u Lrum, Iuced Lo LIe reur, sLurIng
beIore IIm und InLo IImseII, obvIousIy busy wILI LIougILs oI IIs own young IIIe; LIen Ie puIIed
IImseII LogeLIer und wILI u IusLy smIIe Iooked round Lo see II unyone Iud noLIced.
AguIn ¡ wus gIud Lo IeeI LIuL my sILuuLIon wus LIe sume us IIs und LIuL ¡ need noL remuIn
beIInd LIose wIo were murcIIng Lo proLecL LIeIr Iund. AL IeusL In LIe begInnIng ¡ wus LIe onIy
one oI our cIrcIe Lo go. TIe counLry wus sLrong enougI In mun-power Lo uIIord Lo be purLIcuIur,
Lo consIder cuILuruI InLeresLs, Lo udmIL Lo mucI unIILness und Lo IurI Lo LIe IronL onIy LIe
perIecLIy sound oI our youLI und munIood. ¡n neurIy uII LIe men oI our group LIere Lurned ouL
Lo be some kInd oI weukness, someLIIng we Iud scurceIy known, buL IL now procured LIeIr
exempLIon. KnoLerIcI, LIe SugumbIun, wus sIIgILIy LubercuIur. ZInk, LIe urLIsL, suIIered Irom
usLImuLIc uLLucks IIke wIoopIng-cougI und used Lo wILIdruw Irom socIeLy Lo geL rId oI LIem; IIs
IrIend BupLIsL SpengIer wus uIIIng, us we know, everywIere by Lurns. BuIIInger LIe busIness mun
wus sLIII young, buL IL uppeured LIuL us un IndusLrIuIIsL Ie wus IndIspensubIe. TIe ZupIensLosser
orcIesLru wus Loo ImporLunL u IeuLure oI LIe cILy's urLIsLIc IIIe Ior ILs members, umong LIem RudI
ScIwerdLIeger, noL Lo be exempLed Irom LIe servIce. AnyIow LIe occusIon served Lo InIorm us, Lo
our mov menLury surprIse, LIuL RudI, In IIs eurIIer IIIe, Iud Iud un operuLIon LIuL cosL IIm one oI
IIs kIdneys. He IIved, we suddenIy Ieurd, wILI onIy one. TIuL wus quILe enougI, IL uppeured, und
LIe IudIes soon IorgoL uII ubouL IL.
¡ couId go on Lo menLIon muny u cuse oI reIucLunce, proLecLIon, IuvorILIsm, In LIe cIrcIes LIuL
IrequenLed LIe ScIIugInIuuIens und LIe IudIes ScIeurI neur LIe BoLunIcuI Gurdens: cIrcIes wIere
LIere wus u IundumenLuI objecLIon Lo LIIs wur, us LIere Iud been Lo LIe IusL one: memorIes oI LIe
RIenIsI uIIIunce, ¡runcopIIIe senLImenLs, CuLIoIIc dIsIIke oI PrussIu, und so on. JeuneLLe
ScIeurI wus unIuppy Lo Leurs. SIe wus In despuIr over LIe suvuge IIurIng-up oI LIe unLugonIsm
beLween LIe Lwo counLrIes Lo wIIcI sIe beIonged, und wIIcI In Ier opInIon ougIL Lo
compIemenL eucI oLIer, InsLeud oI IIgILIng, "1'en ci cssez jusqu'c lc jin de mes jours" sIe suId
wILI ungry sobs. DespILe my dIssImIIur IeeIIngs ¡ couId buL grunL Ier u cuILuruI sympuLIy.
To suy good-bye Lo AdrIun, wIose personuI deLucImenL Irom LIe wIoIe scene wus LIe mosL
undersLundubIe LIIng In LIe worId Lo me, ¡ wenL ouL Lo PIeIIIerIng, wIence LIe son oI LIe Iouse,
Gereon, Iud uIreudy depurLed wILI severuI Iorses Ior IIs buse. ¡ Iound RüdIger ScIIIdknupp
LIere, Ior LIe presenL sLIII Iree, spendIng u week-end wILI our IrIend. He Iud served In LIe
murInes und wouId be Luken IuLer, buL uILer some monLIs Ie wus uguIn reIeused. ¡L wus noL very
dIIIerenL In my own cuse: IeL me suy uL once LIuL ¡ remuIned In LIe IIeId u bure yeur, LIII LIe
Argonne buLLIes oI 1q1¸, und wus sIIpped Iome, wILI LIe Cross ¡ Iud eurned onIy by puLLIng up
wILI dIscomIorLs und by cuLcIIng u LypIus InIecLIon.
So mucI by wuy oI preIuce. RüdIger's judgmenL oI LIe wur wus condILIoned by IIs udmIruLIon
Ior LIe EngIIsI, us wus JeuneLLe ScIeurI's by Ier ¡rencI bIood. TIe BrILIsI decIuruLIon oI wur
Iud gone Iome Lo IIm, IIs mood wus unusuuIIy sombre. We sIouId never In IIs opInIon Iuve
cIuIIenged EngIund by LIe LreuLy-breukIng murcI InLo BeIgIum. ¡runce und RussIu - weII und
good, one mIgIL Luke LIem on. BuL EngIund? ¡L wus IrIgILIuI IoIIy. So LIen, IncIIned Lo un
IrrILuLed reuIIsm, Ie suw In LIe wur onIy IIILI, sLencI, IorrIbIe umpuLuLIons, sexuuI IIcence, und
IIce und jeered IIs IIII uL LIe IdeoIogIcuI journuIIsm LIuL Lurned un uLLer nuIsunce InLo u gIorIous
evenL. AdrIun dId noL guInsuy IIm, und ¡, despILe my deeper IeeIIngs, yeL wIIIIngIy conceded LIuL
LIere wus some LruLI In wIuL Ie suId.
TIe LIree oI us uLe In LIe greuL NIke room LIuL evenIng, und us CIemenLInu ScIweIgesLIII
moved Lo und Iro quIeLIy servIng us, ¡ usked news oI Iow AdrIun's sIsLer UrsuIu Iured In
¡ungensuIzu. Her murrIuge wus oI LIe IuppIesL, IL seemed; sIe Iud recovered very weII Irom u
weukness oI LIe Iungs, u sIIgIL upIcuI cuLurrI, wIIcI sIe Iud goL uILer LIree cIIIdbeds In quIck
successIon, In 1q11, 1q1z, und 1q1¸. ¡L wus LIe ScIneIdeweIn oIIsprIng Rosu, EzekIeI, und
RuImund wIo LIen suw LIe IIgIL. TIe perIod beLween LIese LIree und LIe nexL wus u IuII decude;
IL wouId be Len yeurs beIore LIe encIunLIng Nepomuk mude IIs uppeurunce.
DurIng LIe meuI und uILerwurds In LIe AbboL's room LIere wus mucI LuIk on poIILIcuI und
moruI subjecLs. We spoke oI LIe Iegendury munIIesLuLIon oI LIe Germun nuLIonuI cIurucLer,
wIIcI wus supposed Lo reveuI ILseII uL momenLs oI IIsLorIcuI crIsIs IIke LIIs - ¡ reIerred Lo IL wILI
u cerLuIn emoLIon, In order Lo oIIseL u IILLIe LIe drusLIcuIIy empIrIcuI InLerpreLuLIon LIuL
ScIIIdknupp consIdered LIe onIy possIbIe one: Germuny's LrudILIonuI roIe, LIe Lrespuss uguInsL
BeIgIum, wIIcI wus so remInIscenL oI ¡rederIck LIe GreuL's uLLuck upon IormuIIy neuLruI Suxony;
LIe yeII oI ouLruge LIuL wenL up Irom LIe worId, und LIe speecI oI our pIIIosopIIcuI CIunceIIor,
wILI ILs IngenIousIy presenLed udmIssIon oI guIIL, ILs IoIk-proverb: "NecessILy knows no Iuw," ILs
pIeu Lo God In conLempL oI un oId IeguI puper, In Iuce oI IIvIng necessILy. ¡L wus due Lo RüdIger
LIuL we ended by IuugIIng; Ior Ie uccepLed my somewIuL emoLIonuI represenLuLIons und LIen
Lurned InLo IrresIsLIbIe ubsurdILy uII LIIs dIgnIIIed regreL, nobIe bruLuIILy, und respecLubIe
mIscIIeI-mukIng by purodyIng LIe LuII pIIIosopIer wIo Iud dressed up In poeLIc moruIIzuLIons u
sLruLegIc pIun Iong sInce deLermIned on. We mIgIL IuugI, buL LIere wus no umusemenL In LIe
vIrLuous rour LIuL wenL up Irom u sLunned worId uL LIIs execuLIon oI u cuL-und-drIed pIun oI
cumpuIgn, knowIedge oI wIIcI Iud Iong been pubIIc properLy. However, ¡ suw LIuL our IosL IIked
LIIs IIne mucI beLLer und wus gIud oI LIe cIunce Lo IuugI; so ¡ wIIIIngIy joIned In, noL wILIouL
recuIIIng wIuL PIuLo Iud suId oI comedy und Lrugedy: Iow LIey grow on LIe sume Lree und u
cIunge oI IIgILIng suIIIces Lo muke one InLo LIe oLIer.
AII LogeLIer ¡ dId noL uIIow my sympuLIy Ior Germuny's necessILy, Ier moruI IsoIuLIon und
pubIIc proscrIpLIon, wIIcI, so IL seemed Lo me, wus onIy LIe expressIon oI LIe generuI Ieur oI Ier
sLrengLI und udvunLuge In prepuredness (¡ dId udmIL LIuL we reckoned LIe sLrengLI und LIe
udvunLuge us u IursI consoIuLIon In our ouLIuwed sLuLe) - uII LogeLIer, ¡ suy, ¡ dId noL uIIow my
puLrIoLIc emoLIon, wIIcI wus so mucI Iurder Lo expIuIn LIun LIuL oI LIe oLIers, Lo be dumpened
by LIe coId wuLer LIrown on our nuLIonuI LruILs. ¡ndeed, ¡ guve IL words, wuIkIng up und down LIe
room, wIIIe ScIIIdknupp In LIe deep eusy-cIuIr smoked IIs sIug pIpe, und AdrIun sLood, LIe
mosL oI LIe LIme, In IronL oI IIs oId-Germun work-LubIe wILI LIe sunken cenLre und LIe reudIng-
und wrILIng-desk seL on IL. ¡or oddIy enougI Ie wroLe on u sIunLIng surIuce, IIke Erusmus In
HoIbeIn's porLruIL. A Iew books Iuy on LIe LubIe: u IILLIe voIume oI KIeIsL, wILI LIe book-murk uL
LIe essuy on murIoneLLes; LIe IndIspensubIe voIume oI SIukespeure sonneLs und unoLIer book
wILI some oI LIe pIuys - Tueljth Niçht ¡ LIInk, Much Ado cbout Nothinç, und ¡ beIIeve Tuo
Gentlemen oj Veronc. HIs work In Iund Iuy LIere Loo: sIeeLs, druILs, begInnIngs, noLes, skeLcIes
In vurIous sLuges oI IncompIeLIon; oILen onIy LIe Lop IIne oI LIe vIoIIn purL or LIe wood-wInd wus
IIIIed ouL und quILe beIow LIe progressIon oI LIe buss, buL beLween LIem sImpIy wIILe spuce,
eIsewIere LIe IurmonIc connecLIon und LIe InsLrumenLuI groupIng were uIreudy mude cIeur by
LIe joLLIng down oI LIe oLIer orcIesLruI purLs. WILI IIs cIgureLLe beLween IIs IIps Ie wouId sLep
up Lo LIe desk Lo Iook uL IIs work, jusL us u cIess-pIuyer meusures on LIe cIequered IIeId LIe
progress oI u gume, Lo wIIcI musIcuI composILIon beurs so suggesLIve u resembIunce. We were
uII so comIorLubIe LogeLIer LIuL Ie mIgIL even Luke u pencII und enLer u cIurIneL or Iorn IIgure
somewIere II Ie LIougIL weII oI IL.
We knew noLIIng precIse ubouL wIuL wus occupyIng IIm, now LIuL LIuL musIc oI LIe cosmos
Iud uppeured In prInL Irom ScIoLL's Sons In MuInz, under LIe sume urrungemenLs us LIe
BrenLuno songs. AcLuuIIy IL wus LIe suILe oI drumuLIc groLesques, wIose LIemes, so we Ieurd, Ie
Iud Luken Irom LIe oId IIsLory und unecdoLe book, LIe Gestc Romcnorum. He wus LryIng LIese,
wILIouL yeL knowIng wIeLIer unyLIIng wouId come oI IL or II Ie wouId conLInue. ¡n uny cuse, LIe
cIurucLers were noL Lo be men buL puppeLs (Ience LIe KIeIsL). As Ior LIe Mcrtels oj the
Uniterse, LIere wus Lo Iuve been u IoreIgn perIormunce oI LIuL soIemn und urrogunL work Iud
noL LIe wur brougIL LIe pIun Lo noLIIng. We Iud spoken oI IL uL LubIe. TIe ¡übeck perIormunces
oI Lote's Lcbour's Lost, even unsuccessIuI us LIey Iud proved, LogeLIer wILI LIe mere exIsLence
oI LIe BrenLuno cycIe, Iud mude some ImpressIon, und AdrIun's nume Iud begun In LIe Inner
cIrcIes oI LIe urL Lo Iuve u cerLuIn esoLerIc und LenLuLIve Iume - even LIIs IurdIy uL uII In
Germuny und decIdedIy noL In MunIcI. BuL LIere were oLIer, more percepLIve regIons. A Iew
weeks eurIIer Ie Iud Iud u IeLLer Irom u MonsIeur MonLeux, dIrecLor oI LIe RussIun buIIeL In
PurIs, Iormer member oI LIe CoIonne orcIesLru, wIereIn LIIs experImenLuIIy-mInded dIrecLor
Iud unnounced IIs InLenLIon oI producIng LIe Mcrtels oj the Uniterse, LogeLIer wILI some or-
cIesLruI purLs oI Lote's Lcbour's Lost us u concerL pure und sImpIe. He Iud In mInd LIe TIeuLre
des CIumps-EIysees Ior LIe perIormunce, und InvILed AdrIun Lo come Lo PurIs, probubIy In order
Lo reIeurse und conducL IIs own works. We Iud noL usked our IrIend wIeLIer Ie wouId, under
IuvourubIe condILIons, uccepL. ¡n uny cuse, LIe cIrcumsLunces were now sucI LIuL LIere couId be
no IurLIer LuIk oI IL.
¡ sLIII see myseII wuIkIng up und down LIe curpeL und bourds oI LIe oId wuInscoLed room, wILI
ILs overpowerIng cIundeIIer, ILs wuII cupbourds wILI LIeIr wrougIL-Iron IInges, LIe IIuL IeuLIer
cusIIons on LIe corner bencI, und LIe deep embrusures oI LIe wIndows; wuIkIng up und down
und IoIdIng IorLI uL Iurge ubouL Germuny; more Ior myseII und cerLuInIy more Ior ScIIIdknupp
LIun Ior AdrIun, Irom wIom ¡ expecLed no InLeresL. Used Lo LeucIIng und Lo LuIkIng, und, wIen ¡
geL wurmed up, no bud LuIker, ¡ do noL dIsIIke IIsLenIng Lo myseII und Luke u cerLuIn pIeusure In
my commund over words. NoL wILIouL IIveIy gesLure ¡ cIuIIenged RüdIger Lo seL down wIuL ¡
suId Lo LIe wurLIme journuIIsm wIIcI so unnoyed IIm. SureIy one mIgIL be permILLed u IILLIe
psycIoIogIcuI purLIcIpuLIon In LIe nuLIonuI und even LoucIIng LruILs wIIcI our oLIerwIse
muILIIorm Germun cIurucLer wus evIncIng In LIIs IIsLorIc Iour. ¡n LIe IusL unuIysIs, wIuL we
were deuIIng wILI wus LIe psycIoIogy oI LIe breuk-LIrougI.
"¡n u nuLIon IIke ours," ¡ seL IorLI, "LIe psycIoIogIcuI Is uIwuys LIe prImury und ucLuuIIy
moLIvuLIng; LIe poIILIcuI ucLIon Is oI LIe second order oI ImporLunce: reIIex, expressIon,
InsLrumenL. WIuL LIe breuk-LIrougI Lo worId power, Lo wIIcI IuLe summons us, meuns uL
boLLom, Is LIe breuk-LIrougI Lo LIe worId - ouL oI un IsoIuLIon oI wIIcI we ure puInIuIIy
conscIous, und wIIcI no vIgorous reLIcuIuLIon InLo worId economy Ius been ubIe Lo breuk down
sInce LIe IoundIng oI LIe ReIcI. TIe bILLer LIIng Is LIuL LIe prucLIcuI munIIesLuLIon Is un ouLbreuk
oI wur, LIougI ILs Lrue InLerpreLuLIon Is IongIng, u LIIrsL Ior unIIIcuLIon."
"God bIess your sLudIes," ¡ Ieurd AdrIun suy Iere In u Iow voIce, wILI u IuII-IuugI. He Iud noL
even gIunced up Irom IIs noLes us Ie quoLed LIe oId sLudenL Lug.
¡ remuIned sLundIng und Iooked uL IIm; Ie puId no Ieed. "You meun," ¡ reLorLed, "LIuL ¡ um
LuIkIng nonsense?"
"Purdon," Ie IusLIIy reLurned. "¡ Iupsed InLo sLudenL IIngo, becuuse your orctio remInded me
so mucI oI our sLruw-LIresIIng dIspuLes oI unno so-und-so - wIuL were LIe IeIIows' numes? ¡
noLIce ¡ begIn Lo IorgeL LIem" (Ie wus LwenLy-nIne uL LIe LIme). "DeuLscImeyer? DungersIeben?"
"You meun LIe redoubLubIe DeuLscIIIn," ¡ suId; "und LIere wus one cuIIed DungersIeIm. A
Hubmeyer und TeuLIeben LIere were Loo. You Iuve never Iud u memory Ior numes. TIey were
good, serIous cIups."
"CerLuInIy, oI course. And Iook Iere, LIere wus u ScIuppeIer, und u socIuIIsL numed ArzL. WIuL
do you suy now? You dId noL even beIong Lo LIeIr IucuILy. BuL Loduy ¡ seem Lo Ieur LIem wIen ¡
Ieur you. SLruw-LIresIIng - by wIIcI ¡ onIy meun once u sLudenL, uIwuys u sLudenL. AcudemIc
IIIe keeps one young und crILIcuI."
"You dId beIong Lo LIeIr IucuILy," suId ¡, "und yeL you were uL boLLom more u guesL LIun ¡. OI
course, AdrI. ¡ wus onIy u sLudenL, und you muy weII be rIgIL, ¡ um one sLIII. BuL so mucI LIe
beLLer II LIe ucudemIc keeps one young, II IL preserves IoyuILy Lo LIe spIrIL, Lo Iree LIougIL, Lo LIe
IIgIer InLerpreLuLIon oI LIe crude evenL - "
"Are we LuIkIng ubouL IoyuILy?" Ie usked. "¡ undersLood LIuL KuIsersuscIern wouId IIke Lo
become u worId cupILuI. TIuL Is noL very IoyuI."
"GeL uIong wILI you," ¡ crIed, "you undersLood noLIIng oI LIe sorL und you undersLund very
weII wIuL ¡ meunL ubouL LIe Germun breuk-LIrougI Lo LIe worId."
"¡L wouId noL IeIp mucI II ¡ dId undersLund, Ior uL presenL, unyIow, LIe crude evenL wIII jusL
muke our sIuL-Inness und sIuL-oIIness more compIeLe, Iowever Iur your mIIILury swurm InLo
Europe. You see: ¡ cunnoL go Lo PurIs, you go LIere InsLeud oI me. Good Loo! BeLween ourseIves, ¡
wouId noL Iuve gone unyIow. You IeIp me ouL oI un emburrussmenL - "
"TIe wur wIII be sIorL," ¡ suId In u suppressed voIce, Ior IIs words uIIecLed me puInIuIIy. "¡L
cunnoL IusL Iong. We puy Ior LIe swIIL breuk-LIrougI wILI u wrong, un ucknowIedged one, wIIcI
we decIure ourseIves reudy Lo muke good. We musL Luke IL on ourseIves... "
"And wIII know Iow Lo curry IL wILI dIgnILy," Ie broke In. "Germuny Ius broud sIouIders. And
wIo denIes LIuL u reuI breukLIrougI Is worLI wIuL LIe Lume worId cuIIs u crIme? ¡ Iope you don'L
suppose LIuL ¡ LIInk smuII oI LIe Ideu wIIcI IL pIeuses you Lo cIew over, In your sLruw. TIere Is uL
boLLom onIy one probIem In LIe worId, und LIIs Is ILs nume. How does one breuk LIrougI? How
does one geL InLo LIe open? How does one bursL LIe cocoon und become u buLLerIIy? TIe wIoIe
sILuuLIon Is domInuLed by LIe quesLIon. Here Loo," suId Ie, und LwILcIed LIe IILLIe red murker In
LIe voIume oI KIeIsL on LIe LubIe - "Iere Loo IL LreuLs oI LIe breuk-LIrougI, In LIe cupILuI essuy
on murIoneLLes, und IL Is cuIIed sLruIgIL ouL 'LIe IusL cIupLer oI LIe IIsLory oI LIe worId.' BuL IL Is
LuIkIng onIy ubouL LIe uesLIeLIc, cIurm, Iree gruce, wIIcI ucLuuIIy Is reserved Lo LIe uuLomuLon
und LIe god; LIuL Is, Lo LIe unconscIous or un endIess conscIousness, wIereus every reIIecLIon
IyIng beLween noLIIng und InIInILy kIIIs gruce. TIe conscIousness musL, LIIs wrILer LIInks, Iuve
gone LIrougI un InIInILy In order LIuL gruce IInd ILseII uguIn LIereIn; und Adum musL euL u
second LIme Irom LIe Lree oI knowIedge In order Lo IuII buck InLo LIe sLuLe oI Innocence."
"How gIud ¡ um," ¡ puL In, "LIuL you Iuve jusL reud LIuL! ¡L Is gIorIousIy LIougIL, und you ure
quILe rIgIL Lo brIng IL InLo connecLIon wILI LIe breuk-LIrougI. BuL do noL suy LIuL IL Is speukIng
onIy oI uesLIeLIcs, do noL suy onlçl One does wrong Lo see In uesLIeLIcs u sepuruLe und nurrow
IIeId oI LIe Iumune. ¡L Is mucI more LIun LIuL, IL Is uL boLLom everyLIIng, IL uLLrucLs or repeIs, LIe
poeL uLLucIes Lo LIe word 'gruce' LIe very wIdesL possIbIe meunIng. AesLIeLIc reIeuse or LIe Iuck
oI IL Is u muLLer oI one's IuLe, deuIIng ouL IuppIness or unIuppIness, compunIonsIIp or IopeIess
II proud IsoIuLIon on eurLI. And one does noL need Lo be u pIIIoIogIun Lo know LIuL wIuL Is
odIous Is uIso wIuL Is IuLed. CruvIng Lo breuk LIrougI Irom bonduge, Lo ceuse beIng seuIed up In
LIe odIous - LeII me LIuL ¡ um sLruw-LIresIIng uguIn; buL ¡ IeeI, ¡ Iuve uIwuys IeIL und wIII usserL
uguInsL sLrongIy IeId opposILIon, LIuL LIIs Germun Is lct exochen, proIoundIy Germun, LIe very
deIInILIon oI GermunIsm, oI u psycIoIogy LIreuLened wILI enveIopmenL, LIe poIson oI IsoIuLIon,
provIncIuI boorIsIness, neurosIs, ImpIIcIL SuLunIsm... "
¡ broke oII. He eyed me, und ¡ beIIeve LIe coIour IeIL IIs cIeeks. TIe Iook Ie cusL on me wus LIe
Iook, LIe IumIIIur one LIuL mude me uImosL equuIIy unIuppy, no muLLer wIeLIer myseII or
unoLIer wus ILs objecL: wordIess, veIIed, coIdIy remoLe Lo LIe poInL oI oIIensIveness, IoIIowed by
LIe smIIe wILI cIosed IIps und sneerIngIy dIIuLIng nosLrIIs - und LIen LIe LurnIng uwuy. He
moved uwuy Irom LIe LubIe, noL Lowurd ScIIIdknupp, buL Lo LIe wIndow nIcIe, wIere Ie Iud
Iung u suInL's pIcLure on LIe puneIIIng. RüdIger LuIked uwuy. ¡n IIs opInIon, Ie suId, ¡ wus Lo be
congruLuIuLed on goIng sLruIgIL InLo LIe IIeId, und ucLuuIIy on Iorsebuck. One sIouId rIde InLo
LIe IIeId or eIse noL go uL uII. And Ie puLLed LIe neck oI un ImugInury nug. We IuugIed, und our
purLIng wIen ¡ IeIL Ior LIe LruIn wus eusy und cIeerIuI. Good LIuL IL wus noL senLImenLuI, IL wouId
Iuve seemed LusLeIess. BuL AdrIun's Iook ¡ currIed wILI me Lo wur - perIups IL wus LIuL, und noL
LIe LypIus InIecLIon Irom IIce, wIIcI brougIL me Iome so soon, buck Lo IIs sIde.

CHAPTIR XXXI
"You go LIere InsLeud oI me," AdrIun Iud suId. And we dId noL geL Lo PurIs. SIuII ¡ conIess LIuL,
prIvuLeIy und upurL Irom LIe IIsLorIcuI poInL oI vIew, ¡ IeIL u deep, InLImuLeIy personuI sIume?
Weeks Iong we Iud senL Iome Lerse, uIIecLedIy IuconIc dIspuLcIes, dressIng our LrIumpIs In coId
muLLer-oI-IucL. ¡Iege Iud Iong sInce IuIIen, we Iud won LIe buLLIe Ior ¡orruIne. ¡n uccordunce
wILI LIe IIxed musLer-pIun we Iud swung wILI IIve urmIes ucross LIe Meuse, Iud Luken BrusseIs,
Numur, currIed LIe duy uL CIurIeroI und ¡ongwy, won u second serIes oI buLLIes uL Sedun, ReLIeI,
SuInL-QuenLIn, und occupIed ReIms. We udvunced us LIougI on wIngs. ¡L wus jusL us we Iud
dreumed: by LIe Iuvour oI LIe god oI wur, uL desLIny's nod, we were borne us on pInIons. To guze
wILIouL IIIncIIng uL LIe IIumes we kIndIed, couId noL IeIp kIndIIng, wus IncumbenL upon our
munIood, IL wus LIe supreme cIuIIenge Lo our IeroIc couruge. ¡ cun sLIII see vIvIdIy LIe pIcLure oI
u guunL GuuIIsI wIIe, sLundIng on u IeIgIL round wIIcI our buLLery wus movIng; uL ILs IooL u
vIIIuge Iuy sIuLLered und smokIng. "¡ um LIe IusL!" sIe crIed, wILI u gesLure oI LrugIc power, sucI
us Is gIven Lo no Germun womun Lo muke. "1e suis lc dernierel" RuIsIng Ier IIsLs, sIe IurIed Ier
curses down on our Ieuds, repeuLIng LIree LImes: "Mechcntsl Mechcntsl Mechcntsl"
We Iooked LIe oLIer wuy. We Iud Lo wIn, und ours wus LIe Iurd Lrude oI LrIumpI. TIuL ¡ IeIL
wreLcIed enougI myseII sILLIng my Iorse, pIugued wILI cougIIng und LIe ruckIng puIn In my
IImbs due Lo weL nIgILs under cunvus, ucLuuIIy uIIorded me u cerLuIn consoIuLIon.
YeL muny more vIIIuges we sIoL up, sLIII borne on vIcLory's pInIons. TIen cume LIe
IncompreIensIbIe, LIe uppurenLIy senseIess LIIng: LIe order Lo reLreuL. How sIouId we Iuve
undersLood IL? We beIonged Lo LIe urmy group Huusen, souLI oI CIuIons-sur-Murne, sLreumIng
on Lo PurIs, us LIe von KIuck group were doIng uL oLIer poInLs. We were IgnorunL LIuL
somewIere, uILer u IIve-duy buLLIe, LIe ¡rencI Iud crusIed von BIIIow's rIgIL wIng - reuson
enougI Ior LIe unxIous cuuLIousness oI u supreme communder wIo Iud been eIevuLed Lo IIs runk
on uccounL oI IIs uncIe, Lo order u generuI wILIdruwuI. We pussed some oI LIe vIIIuges LIuL we
Iud IeIL smokIng In our reur, und LIe IIII wIere LIe LrugIc womun Iud sLood. SIe wus noL LIere.
TIe wIngs were LrusLIess. ¡L sIouId noL Iuve been. ¡L Iud noL been u wur Lo be won In one swIIL
onsIuugIL. BuL us IILLIe us LIose uL Iome dId we undersLund wIuL LIuL meunL. We dId noL under-
sLund LIe IrunLIc jubIIuLIon oI LIe worId over LIe resuIL oI LIe buLLIe oI LIe Murne; over LIe IucL
LIuL LIe sIorL wur on wIIcI our suIvuLIon Iung Iud Lurned InLo u Iong one, wIIcI we couId noL
sLund. Our deIeuL wus now onIy u muLLer oI LIme, und oI cosL Lo LIe Ioe. We couId Iuve IuId our
weupons down und Iorced our Ieuders Lo un ImmedIuLe peuce, II onIy we Iud undersLood. BuL
even umong LIem probubIy onIy one Iere und LIere dured Lo LIInk oI IL. AILer uII, LIey Iud
scurceIy reuIIzed LIuL LIe uge oI IocuIIzed wur Iud gone by und LIuL every cumpuIgn Lo wIIcI we
IeIL ourseIves drIven musL end In u worId conIIugruLIon. ¡n sucI u one LIe udvunLuge oI LIe Inner
IIne, LIe IunuLIcuI devoLIon oI LIe Lroops, LIe IIgI sLuLe oI prepuredness, und u IIrmIy bused,
sLrong uuLIorILurIun sLuLe Iud IeId ouL LIe cIunce oI u IIgILnIng LrIumpI. ¡I LIIs IuIIed - und IL
sLood wrILLen LIuL IL musL IuII - LIen, wIuLever we mIgIL sLIII Ior yeurs uccompIIsI, we were IosL
In prIncIpIe und beIore we begun: LIIs LIme, nexL LIme, uIwuys.
We dId noL know. SIowIy LIe LruLI LorLured ILs wuy InLo us; wIIIe LIe wur, u roLLIng, decuyIng,
mIsery-creuLIng wur, LIougI Irom LIme Lo LIme IIurIng up In IIuLLerIng, deceIvIng successes, LIIs
wur, oI wIIcI ¡ Loo Iud suId IL must noL IusL Iong, IusLed Iour yeurs. SIuII ¡ Iere und now go InLo
deLuIIs oI LIuL Iong-druwn-ouL gIvIng wuy und gIvIng up, LIe weurIng ouL oI our powers und our
equIpmenL, LIe sIubbIness und sIorLuges oI IIIe, LIe undernourIsImenL, LIe Ioss oI moruIe Irom
LIe deprIvuLIons, LIe Iupses InLo dIsIonesLy und LIe gross Iuxury oI LIe proIILeer? ¡ mIgIL weII be
censured Ior reckIessIy oversLeppIng LIe IImILs oI my purpose, wIIcI Is personuI und
bIogrupIIcuI. ¡ IIved LIrougI IL uII Irom LIe begInnIng Lo LIe bILLer end In LIe IInLerIund, us u
mun on IurIougI und uL IengLI musLered ouL, gIven buck Lo IIs LeucIIng proIessIon uL ¡reIsIng.
¡or beIore Arrus, durIng LIe second perIod oI sLruggIe Ior LIuL IorLIIIed pIuce, wIIcI IusLed Irom
LIe begInnIng oI Muy unLII Iur on In JuIy oI 1q1¸, LIe deIousIng meusures were obvIousIy
InudequuLe; un InIecLIon Look me Ior weeks Lo LIe IsoIuLIon burrucks, LIen Ior unoLIer monLI Lo u
convuIescenL Iome Ior LIe sIck und wounded In Tuunus. AL IusL ¡ no Ionger resIsLed LIe Ideu LIuL
¡ Iud IuIIIIed my duLy Lo my IuLIerIund und wouId do beLLer Lo serve In my oId pIuce LIe cuuse oI
educuLIon.
TIuL ¡ dId, und mIgIL once more be Iusbund und IuLIer In LIe IruguI Iome, wIose wuIIs und
LIeIr Loo IumIIIur conLenLs, spured perIups Ior desLrucLIon by IuLure bombIng, Loduy sLIII Iorm
LIe Irume oI my reLIred und ImpoverIsIed IIIe. ¡L sIouId be suId once more, cerLuInIy noL In uny
bousLIuI sense, buL us u mere sLuLemenL, LIuL ¡ Ied my own IIIe, wILIouL precIseIy negIecLIng IL,
onIy us IL were us un usIde, wILI IuII my uLLenLIon, wILI my IeIL Iund; LIuL my reuI concern und
unxIeLy were cenLered upon LIe exIsLence or my cIIIdIood IrIend, Lo be buck In wIose neurness
mude me so rejoIce - II LIe word ¡ use cun descrIbe LIe sIIgIL cIIII, LIe sIIver oI dreud, LIe
puInIuI Iuck oI response wIIcI were my porLIon Irom IIm In LIe IncreusIngIy producLIve IsoIuLIon
oI IIs IIIe. "To Iuve un eye on IIm," Lo wuLcI over IIs exLruordInury und puzzIIng course, uIwuys
seemed Lo mIne ILs reuI und pressIng Lusk. ¡L mude up ILs Lrue conLenL, und LIus IL Is ¡ speuk oI
LIe empLIness oI my presenL duys.
TIe pIuce Ie Iud eIecLed us IIs Iome - "Iome" In LIuL sense ¡ Iuve spoken oI, ussImIIuLIve
und noL uILogeLIer uccepLubIe - wus u reIuLIveIy IorLunuLe cIoIce. DurIng LIe yeurs oI upproucI-
Ing deIeuL und ever more gnuwIng sLrIngency, Ie wus, LIunk God, on LIe ScIweIgesLIII Iurm us
LoIerubIy cured Ior us one couId wIsI, wILIouL knowIedge or upprecIuLIon oI LIe sLuLe oI LIIngs,
uImosL unuIIecLed by LIe sIowIy corrodIng cIunges under wIIcI our bIockuded und InvesLed
counLry suIIered, even wIIIe mIIILurIIy sLIII on LIe oIIensIve. He Look everyLIIng us u muLLer oI
course, wILIouL uny words, us someLIIng LIuL proceeded Irom IIm und Iuy In IIs nuLure, wIose
power oI InerLIu und IIxuLIon on LIe semper idem persIsLed In LIe Iuce oI ouLwurd cIrcumsLunce.
HIs sImpIe dIeLury needs LIe ScIweIgesLIII IouseIoId couId uIwuys suLIsIy. More LIun LIuL, und
soon uILer my reLurn Irom LIe IIeId, Ie cume under LIe cure oI Lwo IemuIes wIo Iud upproucIed
IIm quILe IndependenLIy oI eucI oLIer und uppoInLed LIemseIves IIs devoLees. TIese were LIe
dumseIs MeLu Nuckedey und KunIgunde RosensLIeI: one u pIuno-LeucIer, LIe oLIer un ucLIve
purLner In u IucLory Ior LIe producLIon oI suusuges-cuses. ¡L Is cerLuInIy remurkubIe: u buddIng
repuLuLIon sucI us Iud begun Lo uLLucI ILseII Lo ¡everküIn's nume Is unknown Lo LIe generuI,
IuvIng ILs seuL In LIe InILIuLe spIere, on LIe IeIgILs oI connoIsseursIIp; Irom LIose IeIgILs LIe
InvILuLIon Lo PurIs Iud come. BuL uL LIe sume LIme IL muy uIso be reIIecLed In IumbIer, IowIIer
regIons, In LIe needy souIs oI poor creuLures wIo sLund ouL Irom LIe musses LIrougI some
sensIbIIILy oI IoneIIness und suIIerIng dressed up us "IIgIer uspIruLIons"; und LIese muy IInd
LIeIr IuppIness In u worsIIp sLIII IILLIngIy puId Lo LIe ruresL vuIues. TIuL IL Is women, und
unmurrIed ones, need noL surprIse us; Ior Iumun resIgnuLIon Is cerLuInIy LIe source oI u
propIeLIc InLuILIon, wIIcI Is noL LIe Iess esLImubIe becuuse ILs orIgIns ure IumbIe. TIere wus noL
LIe IeusL quesLIon LIuL LIe ImmedIuLeIy personuI Iere pIuyed u consIderubIe roIe; Indeed, IL
predomInuLed over LIe InLeIIecLuuI vuIues; wIIcI even so, In boLI cuses, couId onIy be grusped
und esLImuLed In vugue ouLIIne, us u muLLer oI IeeIIng und InLuILIon. ¡ myseII, speukIng us one
wIo eurIy submILLed IIs own Ieud und IeurL Lo LIe pIenomenon oI AdrIun's cooI und buIIIIngIy
seII-conLuIned exIsLence, Iuve ¡ LIe smuIIesL rIgIL Lo mock uL LIe IuscInuLIon wIIcI IIs uIoneness,
LIe nonconIormILy oI IIs IIIe, exerLed upon LIese women? TIe Nuckedey wus u scurryIng,
deprecuLIng creuLure, some LIIrLy yeurs oId, Iorever dIssoIvIng In bIusIes und modesLy, wIo
speukIng or IIsLenIng bIInked spusmodIcuIIy und uppeuIIngIy beIInd LIe pInce-nez sIe wore,
noddIng Ier Ieud und wrInkIIng up Ier nose. SIe, one duy, wIen AdrIun wus In LIe cILy, Iud
Iound IerseII besIde IIm on LIe IronL pIuLIorm oI u Lrum, und wIen sIe dIscovered IL, Iud rusIed
In IeudIess IIIgIL LIrougI LIe crowd Lo LIe reur pIuLIorm. TIen, IuvIng coIIecLed IerseII Ior u Iew
mInuLes, sIe Iud gone buck, Lo speuk Lo IIm by nume, Lo LeII IIm, bIusIIng und puIIng by Lurns,
Ier own, Lo udd someLIIng oI Ier cIrcumsLunces und Lo suy LIuL sIe IeId IIs musIc sucred - Lo
uII wIIcI Ie Iud IIsLened und LIen LIunked Ier. Upon LIIs IoIIowed LIeIr ucquuInLunce, wIIcI
MeLu Iud cerLuInIy noL brougIL ubouL In order Lo IeL IL drop. SIe puId u vIsIL oI Iomuge Lo PIeII-
IerIng, wILI u bouqueL; und cuILIvuLed IL Irom LIen on, In Iree compeLILIon wILI LIe RosensLIeI,
boLI sIdes spurred on by jeuIousy. TIe RosensLIeI Iud begun IL dIIIerenLIy.
SIe wus u ruw-boned Jewess, oI ubouL LIe sume uge us Nuckedey, wILI LIIck, unmunugeubIe
wooIIy IuIr und brown eyes wIere LImeIess grIeI sLood wrILLen Ior LIe duugILer oI ZIon despoIIed
und Ier peopIe us u Iorsuken IeurLI. A cupubIe busIness womun In u noL very reIIned IIne (Ior LIe
munuIucLure oI suusuge-cuses Ius someLIIng gross ubouL IL, cerLuInIy), sIe Iud LIe eIegIuc IubIL
oI begInnIng uII Ier senLences wILI "uI." AI, yes! AI, no! AI, beIIeve me! AI, wIy noL? AI, ¡ wIII
go Lo Nuremburg Lomorrow: sIe wouId suy LIese LIIngs In u deep, IursI, desoIuLe, compIuInIng
voIce, und even wIen usked How ure you? sIe wouId repIy: "AI, very weII." BuL IL wus noL LIe
sume wIen sIe wroLe, wIIcI sIe uncommonIy IIked Lo do. ¡or noL onIy wus KunIgunde, us
uImosL uII Jews ure, very musIcuI, buL uIso sIe Iud, LIougI wILIouL uny exLensIve reudIng, mucI
purer und more IusLIdIous reIuLIons wILI LIe Germun Iunguuge LIun LIe nuLIonuI uveruge, yes,
LIun mosL oI LIe Ieurned. SIe Iud seL In LruIn LIe ucquuInLunce wILI AdrIun, wIIcI oI Ier own
moLIon sIe uIwuys cuIIed u IrIendsIIp (Indeed, In LIme IL dId become someLIIng IIke LIuL), wILI
un exceIIenL IeLLer, u Iong, weII-Lurned proLesLuLIon oI devoLIon, In conLenL noL reuIIy
exLruordInury, buL sLyIIsLIcuIIy Iormed on LIe besL modeIs oI un oIder, IumunIsLIc Germuny. TIe
recIpIenL reud IL wILI u cerLuIn surprIse, und on uccounL oI ILs IILerury quuIILy IL couId noL possIbIy
be pussed over In sIIence. SIe kepL on wrILIng Lo IIm uL PIeIIIerIng, quILe usIde Irom Ier IrequenL
vIsILs: expIIcILIy, noL very objecLIveIy, In muLLer noL IurLIer excILIng, buL In Iunguuge very
meLIcuIous, cIeur und reudubIe; noL Iund-wrILLen, moreover, buL done on Ier busIness Lype-
wrILer, wILI un umpersund Ior "und," expressIng u reverence wIIcI more neurIy Lo deIIne or
jusLIIy sIe wus eILIer Loo sIy or eIse IncupubIe. ¡L wus jusL reverence, un InsLIncLIve reverence
und devoLIon preserved IoyuIIy LIrougIouL muny yeurs; you sImpIy Iud Lo respecL sucI u cupILuI
person, quILe usIde Irom uny oLIer cupucILIes sIe mIgIL Iuve. ¡ uL IeusL dId so, und Look puIns Lo
puy LIe sume sIIenL respecL Lo LIe eIusIve Nuckedey; wIereus AdrIun sImpIy uccepLed LIe LrIbuLes
und devoLIon oI LIese IoIIowers oI IIs wILI LIe uLLer IeedIessness oI IIs nuLure. And wus my IoL
LIen so dIIIerenL Irom LIeIrs? ¡ cun counL IL Lo my credIL LIuL ¡ Look puIns Lo be benevoIenL
Lowurds LIem, wIIIe LIey, quILe prImILIveIy, couId noL endure eucI oLIer und wIen LIey meL
meusured eucI oLIer wILI nurrowed eyes. ¡n u cerLuIn sense ¡ wus oI LIeIr guIId und mIgIL Iuve
been jusLIIIed In IeeIIng IrrILuLIon over LIIs reduced und spInsLerIsI reproducLIon oI my own
reIuLIon Lo AdrIun.
TIese Lwo, LIen, comIng uIwuys wILI IuII Iunds durIng LIe Iunger-yeurs, wIen Ie wus uIreudy
weII Luken cure oI so Iur us LIe essenLIuIs were concerned, brougIL IIm everyLIIng ImugInubIe
LIuL couId be goL IoId oI In underIund wuys: sugur, Leu, coIIee, cIocoIuLe, cukes, preserves,
Lobucco Ior cIgureLLes. He couId muke presenLs Lo me, Lo ScIIIdknupp, und Lo RudI
ScIwerdLIeger, wIose ussumpLIon oI InLImucy never wuvered; und LIe numes oI LIose devoLed
women were oILen cuIIed bIessed umong us! As Ior LIe cIgureLLes, AdrIun never guve up smokIng
excepL wIen Iorced Lo on LIe duys wIen LIe mIgruIne, wILI ILs vIoIenL uLLucks IIke seusIckness IeII
on IIm, und Ie kepL IIs bed In u durkened room, us Iuppened Lwo or LIree LImes In LIe monLI.
OLIerwIse Ie couId noL do wILIouL LIe sLImuIunL und dIversIon; IL Iud become u IubIL ruLIer
IuLe, durIng IIs ¡eIpzIg LIme, und now, uL IeusL durIng IIs work, Ie musL, so Ie suId, Iuve LIe
InLerIude oI roIIIng und InIuIIng eIse Ie couId noL IoId ouL so Iong. AL LIe LIme wIen ¡ reLurned
Lo cIvII IIIe Ie wus greuLIy gIven Lo LIe IubIL; und my ImpressIon wus LIuL Ie prucLIsed IL noL so
mucI Ior LIe suke oI LIe Gestc, LIougI LIIs wus osLensIbIy LIe cuse, us IL wus becuuse Ie wus
LryIng Lo puL LIe Gestc beIInd IIm und be reudy Ior new demunds upon IIs genIus. On IIs
IorIzon, ¡ um sure oI IL, LIere wus uIreudy rIsIng - probubIy sInce LIe ouLbreuk oI wur, Ior u
power oI dIvInuLIon IIke IIs musL Iuve recognIzed LIereIn u deep cIeIL und dIsconLInuILy, LIe
openIng oI u new perIod oI IIsLory, crowded wILI LumuIL und dIsrupLIons, ugonIes und wIId
vIcIssILudes - on LIe IorIzon oI IIs creuLIve IIIe, ¡ suy, LIere wus uIreudy rIsIng LIe "Apocclçpsis
cum jiçuris" LIe work wIIcI wus Lo gIve LIIs IIIe sucI u dIzzyIng upwurd surge. UnLII LIen, so uL
IeusL ¡ see LIe process, Ie wus empIoyIng LIe wuILIng-LIme wILI LIe brIIIIunL murIoneLLe IunLusIes.
AdrIun Iud Ieurned LIrougI ScIIIdknupp oI LIe oId book LIuL pusses Ior LIe source oI mosL oI
LIe romunLIc myLIs oI LIe MIddIe Ages. ¡L Is u LrunsIuLIon Irom LIe ¡uLIn oI LIe oIdesL CIrIsLIun
coIIecLIon oI IuIry-LuIes und Iegends. ¡ um quILe wIIIIng Lo gIve AdrIun's IuvourILe wILI LIe IIke-
coIoured eyes due credIL Ior LIe suggesLIon. TIey Iud reud IL LogeLIer In LIe evenIngs und IL up-
peuIed Lo AdrIun's sense oI LIe rIdIcuIous, IIs cruvIng Lo IuugI, yes, Lo IuugI unLII Ie crIed. TIuL
wus u cruvIng wIIcI my Iess suggesLIbIe nuLure never knew Iow Lo Ieed, beIng Iumpered us weII
by un unxIous IeeIIng LIuL uII LIIs dIssoIvIng In mIrLI Iud ubouL IL someLIIng unsuILed Lo u nuLure
¡ Ioved even wIIIe ¡ Ieured IL. RüdIger, LIe IIke-eyed, sIured my uppreIensIons noL u wIIL. ¡n-
deed, ¡ conceuIed LIem; LIey never IIndered me Irom joInIng sIncereIy In sucI moods oI
ubundon wIen LIey cume ubouL. BuL In LIe SIIesIun one murked u dIsLIncL suLIsIucLIon, us LIougI
Ie Iud perIormed u Lusk, u mIssIon, wIen Ie Iud munuged Lo reduce AdrIun Lo Leurs oI IuugILer;
und cerLuInIy Ie succeeded In u mosL IruILIuI und uccepLubIe Avuy wILI LIe oId book oI IubIes und
jesLs.
¡ um oI opInIon LIuL LIe Gestc - In LIeIr IIsLorIcuI unInsLrucLed-ness, pIous CIrIsLIun
dIducLIcIsm, und moruI nuIveLe, wILI LIeIr eccenLrIc cusuIsLry oI purrIcIde, uduILery, und
compIIcuLed IncesL; LIeIr undocumenLed Romun emperors, wILI duugILers wIom LIey
IunLusLIcuIIy guurded und LIen oIIered Ior suIe under LIe mosL IuIr-spIILLIng condILIons - IL Is
noL Lo be denIed, ¡ suy, LIuL uII LIese IubIes, presenLed In u soIemn ¡uLInIzIng und IndescrIbubIy
nuIve sLyIe oI LrunsIuLIon, concernIng knIgILs In pIIgrImuge Lo LIe PromIsed ¡und, wunLon wIves,
urLIuI procuresses, cIerIcs gIven Lo LIe bIuck urLs, do Iuve un exLruordInurIIy dIverLIng eIIecL.
TIey were In LIe IIgIesL degree cuIcuIuLed Lo sLImuIuLe AdrIuns pencIunL Ior purody, und LIe
LIougIL oI drumuLIzIng LIem musIcuIIy In condensed Iorm Ior LIe puppeL LIeuLre occupIed IIm
Irom LIe duy Ie mude LIeIr ucquuInLunce. TIere Is Ior InsLunce LIe IundumenLuIIy unmoruI IubIe,
unLIcIpuLIng LIe Deccmeron, "oI LIe godIess guIIe oI oId women," wIereIn un uccompIIce oI
guIILy pussIon, under u musk oI suncLILy succeeds In persuudIng u nobIe und even excepLIonuIIy
decenL und IonourubIe wIIe, wIIIe Ier conIIdIng Iusbund Is gone on u journey, LIuL sIe Is
sInIuIIy mInded Lo u youLI wIo Is consumed wILI desIre Ior Ier. TIe wILcI mukes Ier IILLIe bILcI
IusL Ior Lwo duys, und LIen gIves IL breud spreud wILI musLurd Lo euL, wIIcI cuuses LIe IILLIe
unImuI Lo sIed copIous Leurs. TIen sIe Lukes IL Lo LIe vIrLuous Iudy, wIo receIves Ier
respecLIuIIy, sInce everybody supposes sIe Is u suInL. BuL wIen LIe Iudy Iooks uL LIe weepIng
IILLIe bILcI und usks In surprIse wIuL cuuses ILs Leurs, LIe oId womun beIuves us LIougI sIe
wouId ruLIer noL unswer. WIen pressed Lo speuk, sIe conIesses LIuL LIIs IILLIe dog Is ucLuuIIy Ier
own uII-Loo-cIusLe duugILer, wIo by reuson oI LIe unbendIng denIuI oI Ier Iuvour Lo u young
mun on IIre Ior Ier Iud drIven IIm Lo IIs deuLI; und now, In punIsImenL LIereIor, sIe Ius been
Lurned InLo LIIs sIupe und oI course consLunLIy weeps Leurs oI despuIr over Ier doggIsI esLuLe.
TeIIIng LIese deIIberuLe IIes, LIe procuress weeps Loo, buL LIe Iudy Is IorrIIIed uL LIe LIougIL oI
LIe sImIIurILy oI Ier own cuse wILI LIuL oI LIe IILLIe dog und LeIIs LIe oId womun oI LIe youLI wIo
suIIers Ior Ier. TIereupon LIe womun puLs IL serIousIy beIore Ier wIuL un IrreLrIevubIe pILy IL
wouId be II sIe Loo were Lo be Lurned InLo u IILLIe dog; und Is LIen commIssIoned Lo IeLcI LIe
grounIng suILor LIuL In God's nume Ie muy cooI IIs IusL, so LIuL LIe Lwo uL LIe InsLunce oI u
godIess LrIck ceIebruLe LIe sweeLesL uduILery.
¡ sLIII envy RüdIger Ior IuvIng been LIe IIrsL Lo reud uIoud LIIs LuIe Lo our IrIend, In LIe AbboL's
room; uILIougI ¡ conIess LIuL II IL Iud been myseII LIe eIIecL mIgIL noL Iuve been LIe sume.
Moreover IIs conLrIbuLIon Lo LIe IuLure work wus IImILed Lo LIIs IIrsL sLImuIuLIon. WIen LIe
poInL wus reucIed oI prepurIng LIe IubIes Ior LIe puppeL sLuge, LIe cusLIng oI LIem In dIuIogue
Iorm, Ie reIused IIs oIIIces, Ior Iuck oI LIme, or ouL oI IIs weII-known reIrucLory sense oI
Ireedom. AdrIun dId noL Luke IL III oI IIm, buL dId wIuL Ie couId by IImseII Ior us Iong us ¡ wus
uwuy, skeLcIIng In LIe scenurIos IreeIy und more or Iess LIe dIuIogue, uILer wIIcI IL wus ¡ wIo In
my spure LIme quIckIy guve LIem LIeIr IInuI Iorm In mIxed prose und rIymed IInes.
TIe sIngers wIo uccordIng Lo AdrIun's pIun Iend LIeIr voIces Lo LIe ucLIng puppeLs Iud Lo be
gIven LIeIr pIuces umong LIe InsLrumenLs In LIe orcIesLru, u very smuII one, composed oI vIoIIn
und doubIe-buss, cIurIneL, bussoon, LrumpeL, und Lrombone, wILI percussIon Ior one mun, und u
seL oI beIIs. WILI LIem Is u speuker wIo, IIke LIe testis In LIe oruLorIo, condenses LIe pIoL In
nurruLIon und recILuLIve.
TIIs Ioose LreuLmenL Is mosL successIuI In LIe IIILI, LIe reuI kerneI oI LIe suILe, LIe LuIe "OI LIe
BIrLI oI LIe HoIy Pope Gregory," u bIrLI wIose sInIuI sInguIurILy Is by no meuns LIe end oI LIe
sLory; und uII LIe sIockIng cIrcumsLunces uccompunyIng LIe Iero's IIIe noL onIy ure no IIndrunce
Lo IIs IInuI eIevuLIon Lo be LIe VIce-GerenL oI CIrIsL on eurLI, buL muke IIm, by God's pecuIIur
Iuvour, cuIIed und desLIned Lo LIuL seuL. TIe cIuIn oI compIIcuLIons Is Iong, und ¡ muy us weII
reIuLe In LIIs pIuce LIe IIsLory oI LIe royuI und orpIuned broLIer-sIsLer puIr: LIe broLIer wIo
Ioved LIe sIsLer more LIun Ie sIouId, so LIuL Ie Ioses IIs Ieud und puLs Ier InLo u more LIun
InLeresLIng condILIon, Ior Ie mukes Ier LIe moLIer oI u boy oI exLruordInury beuuLy. ¡L Is LIIs
boy, u broLIer-sIsLer cIIId In uII LIe III meunIng oI LIe word, ubouL wIom everyLIIng Lurns. TIe
IuLIer seeks Lo do penunce by u crusude Lo LIe HoIy ¡und, und LIere IInds IIs deuLI; LIe cIIId
presses on Lowurd uncerLuIn desLInIes. ¡or LIe Queen, resoIved noL Lo Iuve LIe InIunL so
monsLrousIy begoL bupLIzed on Ier own responsIbIIILy, puLs IIm und IIs prInceIy crudIe InLo u
cusk und enLrusLs IIm, noL wILIouL u LubIeL oI InsLrucLIons und goId und sIIver Ior IIs upbrIngIng,
Lo LIe wuves oI LIe seu, wIIcI brIng IIm "on LIe sIxLI IeusL-duy" Lo LIe neIgIbourIood oI u
cIoIsLer presIded over by u pIous AbboL. TIe AbboL IInds IIm, bupLIzes IIm wILI IIs own nume,
Gregory, und gIves IIm un educuLIon perIecLIy suILed Lo LIe Iud's unusuuI pIysIcuI und menLuI
endowmenLs. MeunwIIIe LIe sInIuI moLIer, Lo LIe regreL oI Ier wIoIe reuIm, mukes u vow noL Lo
murry, quILe obvIousIy noL onIy becuuse sIe regurds IerseII us unconsecruLe und unworLIy oI u
CIrIsLIun murrIuge buL becuuse sIe sLIII cIerIsIes u sIumeIuI IoyuILy Lo LIe depurLed broLIer. A
powerIuI Duke oI u IoreIgn Iund seeks Ier Iund, wIIcI sIe reIuses; Ie Is so wroLI LIuL Ie Iuys
sIege Lo Ier kIngdom, overruns und conquers IL, uII buL u sIngIe IorLIIIed cILy InLo wIIcI sIe
reLIres. Now LIe youLI Gregory, IuvIng Ieurned oI IIs orIgIns, LIInks Lo muke u pIIgrImuge Lo LIe
HoIy SepuIcIre; buL InsLeud urrIves by cIunce In IIs moLIer's cILy, wIere Ie Ieurns oI LIe
mIsIorLune oI LIe Ieud oI LIe kIngdom, Ius IImseII brougIL beIore Ier, und oIIers Ier, wIo us
LIe sLory suys "Iooks uL IIm sIurpIy" buL does noL know IIm, IIs servIces. He conquers LIe crueI
Duke, Irees LIe counLry, und Is proposed by Ier reLuIners Lo LIe IIberuLed Queen us Ier Iusbund.
SIe Is Indeed somewIuL coy und usks Ior u duy - onIy one - Lo LIInk IL over; und LIen uguInsL
Ier ouLI sIe consenLs, so LIuL, wILI LIe greuLesL upprovuI und jubIIuLIon oI LIe wIoIe counLry, LIe
murrIuge Lukes pIuce und IrIgILIuI Is unsuspecLIngIy Ieuped upon IrIgILIuI, wIen LIe son oI sIn
mounLs LIe murrIuge bed wILI IIs own moLIer. ¡ wIII noL go IurLIer InLo uII LIuL; uII ¡ wunL Is Lo
descrIbe LIe IeuvIIy emoLIonuI cIImux oI LIe pIoL, wIIcI In LIe puppeL LIeuLre comes InLo ILs own
In so surprIsIng und udmIrubIe u wuy. AL LIe very begInnIng LIe broLIer usks LIe sIsLer wIy sIe
Iooks so puIe und "wIy LIe upper purL oI LIIne eyeIIds durken"; und sIe unswers IIm: "¡L Is no
wonder, Ior ¡ um wILI cIIId und Indeed IuII oI remorse." WIen LIe news comes LIuL Ier sInIuI
broLIer-Iusbund Is deud sIe breuks ouL In LIe remurkubIe IumenL: "Gone Is my Iope, gone Is my
sLrengLI, my onIy broLIer, my second ¡!" und LIen covers LIe corpse wILI kIsses Irom LIe soIes oI
IIs IeeL Lo LIe crown oI IIs Ieud, so LIuL Ier knIgILs, unpIeusunLIy Impressed wILI sucI
exuggeruLed grIeI, see LIemseIves consLruIned Lo Leur LIeIr sovereIgn Iudy uwuy Irom LIe deud. Or
wIen sIe becomes uwure wILI wIom sIe IIves In Lender wedded Iove, und suys Lo IIm: "O my
sweeL son, LIou urL my onIy cIIId, LIou urL my spouse und Iord, LIou urL mIne und my broLIer's
son, O my sweeL cIIId, und O LIou my God, wIy IusL LIou IeL me be born!" ¡or so IL Is: by meuns
oI LIe LubIeL sIe Iud once wrILLen wILI Ier own Iund, wIIcI sIe IInds In LIe prIvuLe cIumber oI
Ier Iusbund, sIe Ieurns wILI wIom sIe sIures Ier coucI, LIunk God wILIouL IuvIng borne IIm
unoLIer broLIer und grundson oI Ier broLIer. And now IL Is IIs Lurn Lo LIInk oI u penILenLIuI
pIIgrImuge, wIIcI Ie sLruIgILwuy bureIooL underLukes. He comes Lo u IIsIermun wIo, "by LIe
IIneness oI IIs IImbs," recognIzes LIuL Ie Ius no ordInury LruveIIer beIore IIm, und LIe Lwo ugree
LIuL LIe uLmosL IsoIuLIon Is LIe onIy IILLIng LIIng. He rows IIm ouL sIxLeen mIIes InLo LIe oceun,
Lo u rock wIere greuL seus surge, und LIere, cIuIns beIng IuId Lo IIs IeeL und LIe key LIereoI IIung
InLo LIe wuves, Gregory spends sevenLeen yeurs doIng penunce. AL LIe end oI LIIs perIod LIere
comes overwIeImIng, buL Lo IImseII, IL seems, scurce surprIsIng Iuvour und exuILuLIon. ¡or LIe
Pope dIes In Rome, und IurdIy Is Ie deud wIen LIere comes down u voIce Irom Ieuven: "Seek
ouL Gregory LIe mun oI God und seL IIm up us My vIcur on eurLI!" TIen messengers IusLe In uII
dIrecLIons und urrIve uL LIe pIuce oI LIuL IIsIermun, wIo beLIInks IImseII. TIen Ie cuLcIes u IIsI,
In wIose beIIy Ie IInds LIe key once sunk In LIe depLIs oI LIe seu. He rows LIe messengers Lo LIe
sLone oI penunce und LIey cry up Lo IL: "O Gregory, LIou mun oI God, come down Lo us Irom LIe
sLone, Ior God wIIIs Ior LIee Lo be seL up Ior HIs vIcur upon eurLI!" And wIuL does Ie unswer
LIem? "¡I LIuL pIeuse God," Ie suys cuImIy, "muy HIs wIII be done!" BuL us Ie comes Lo Rome und
wIen LIe beIIs ure Lo be rung, LIey do noL wuIL buL rIng oI LIemseIves, uII LIe beIIs rIng oI LIeIr
own uccord, In wILness Lo LIe IucL LIuL so pIous und edIIyIng u pope Iud never been beIore. And
LIe IoIy mun's Iume reucIes IIs moLIer, und sIe rIgILIy decIdes LIuL Ier IIIe cun be beLLer
enLrusLed Lo no one eIse LIun Lo LIIs cIosen one; so sIe depurLs Ior Rome Lo conIess Lo LIe HoIy
¡uLIer, wIo, us Ie receIves Ier conIessIon, recognIzes Ier und suys: "O my sweeL moLIer, sIsLer,
und wIIe, O my IrIend! TIe DevII LIougIL Lo Ieud us Lo IeII, buL LIe greuLer power oI God Ius
prevenLed IIm." And Ie buIIds Ier u cIoIsLer wIere sIe ruIes us Abbess, buL onIy Ior u sIorL LIme.
¡or IL Is soon voucIsuIed Lo LIem boLI Lo render up LIeIr souIs Lo God.
Upon LIIs exLruvugunLIy sInIuI, sImpIe, und uppeuIIng LuIe LIen, dId AdrIun concenLruLe uII LIe
possIbIe wIL und Lerror, uII LIe cIIIdIIke Iervour, IunLusy, und soIemnILy oI musIcuI presenLuLIon,
und probubIy one muy uppIy Lo LIe wIoIe producLIon, buL ubove uII Lo LIIs purLIcuIur LuIe, LIe
sInguIur InvenLIon oI LIe oId ¡IIbeck proIessor, LIe word "God-wILLed." TIe memory comes buck
Lo me, becuuse LIe Gestc ucLuuIIy sIow someLIIng IIke u reLurn Lo LIe musIcuI sLyIe oI Lote's
Lcbour's Lost, wIIIe LIe Lone Iunguuge oI LIe Mcrtels oj the Uniterse Ieuns more Lo LIuL oI LIe
Apocclçpse or even LIe Icust. SucI unLIcIpuLIons und overIuppIngs oILen occur In creuLIve IIIe;
buL ¡ cun expIuIn Lo myseII LIe urLIsLIc uLLrucLIon wIIcI LIIs muLerIuI Iud Ior my IrIend: IL wus un
InLeIIecLuuI cIurm, noL wILIouL u Lruce oI muIIce und soIvenL LruvesLy, sprIngIng us IL dId Irom u
crILIcuI rebound uILer LIe swoIIen pomposILy oI un urL epocI neurIng ILs end. TIe musIcuI drumu
Iud Luken ILs muLerIuIs Irom LIe romunLIc sugus, LIe myLI-worId oI LIe MIddIe Ages, und LIus
suggesLed LIuL onIy sucI subjecLs were worLIy oI musIc, or suILed Lo ILs nuLure. Here LIe
concIusIon seemed Lo be druwn; In u rIgIL desLrucLIve wuy, Indeed, In LIuL LIe bIzurre, und
purLIcuIurIy LIe IurcIcuIIy eroLIc, Lukes LIe pIuce oI LIe moruIIzIng und prIesLIy, uII InIIuLed pomp
oI producLIon Is rejecLed und LIe ucLIon LrunsIerred Lo LIe puppeL LIeuLre, In ILseII uIreudy
burIesque. AdrIun wus uL puIns wIen Ie wus uL work on LIe Gestc Lo sLudy LIe specIIIc
possIbIIILIes oI LIe puppeL pIuy; und LIe CuLIoIIc-buroque popuIur Iondness Ior LIe LIeuLre,
wIIcI wus rIIe In LIe regIon wIere Ie Ied IIs IermIL IIIe, uIIorded IIm opporLunILy. CIose by, In
WuIdsIuL, IIved u druggIsL wIo curved und dressed murIoneLLes, und AdrIun repeuLedIy vIsILed
LIe mun. He uIso LruveIIed Lo MILLenwuId, LIe IIddIe vIIIuge In LIe vuIIey oI LIe upper ¡sur, wIere
LIe upoLIecury wus un umuLeur oI LIe sume urL und wILI LIe IeIp oI IIs wIIe und IIs cIever sons
produced puppeL pIuys uILer PoccI und CIrIsLIun WInLer In LIe Lown, uLLrucLIng Iurge uudIences
oI LownsIoIk und sLrungers. ¡everküIn suw und sLudIed LIese Loo; uIso, us ¡ noLIced, LIe very
IngenIous Iund puppeLs und sIudow-pIuys oI LIe Juvunese.
TIose were enjoyubIe und sLImuIuLIng evenIngs wIen Ie pIuyed Ior us - LIuL Is, Lo me,
ScIIIdknupp, und very IIkeIy RudI ScIwerdLIeger, wIo persIsLed In beIng presenL now und LIen
- on LIe oId squure pIuno In LIe deep-wIndowed room wILI LIe NIke, LIe IuLesL-wrILLen purLs oI
IIs umuzIng scores, In wIIcI LIe IurmonIcuIIy mosL domInuLIng, LIe rIyLImIcuIIy IubyrInLIIne
wus uppIIed Lo LIe sImpIesL muLerIuI, und uguIn u sorL oI musIcuI cIIIdren's LrumpeL sLyIe Lo LIe
mosL exLruordInury. TIe meeLIng oI LIe Queen wILI LIe IoIy mun wIom sIe Iud borne Lo Ier
broLIer, und wIom sIe Iud embruced us spouse, cIurmed Leurs Irom us sucI us Iud never IIIIed
our eyes, unIqueIy mIngIed oI IuugILer und IunLusLIc sensIbIIILy. ScIwerdLIeger, In ubundoned
IumIIIurILy, uvuIIed IImseII oI LIe IIcence oI LIe momenL: wILI u "You've done IL mugnIIIcenLIy!"
embruced AdrIun und pressed IIm Lo IIs IeurL. ¡ suw RudIger's mouLI, uIwuys u bILLer one, gIve u
wry LwIsL und couId noL myseII resIsL murmurIng: "EnougI!" und puLLIng ouL my Iund Lo quencI
LIe unquencIubIe und resLruIn LIe unresLruIned.
RudoII muy Iuve Iud some LroubIe In IoIIowIng LIe conversuLIon LIuL ensued uILer LIe prIvuLe
perIormunce In LIe AbboL's room. We spoke oI LIe unIon oI LIe udvunced wILI LIe popuIur, LIe
cIosIng oI LIe guII beLween urL und uccessIbIIILy, IIgI und Iow, us once In u cerLuIn sense IL Iud
been brougIL ubouL by LIe romunLIc movemenL, IILerury und musIcuI. BuL uILer LIuL Iud IoIIowed
u new und deeper cIeuvuge und uIIenuLIon beLween LIe good und LIe eusy, LIe worLI-wIIIe und
LIe enLerLuInIng, LIe udvunced und LIe generuIIy enjoyubIe, wIIcI Ius become LIe desLIny oI urL.
Wus IL senLImenLuIILy Lo suy LIuL musIc - und sIe sLood Ior LIem uII - demunded wILI growIng
conscIousness Lo sLep ouL oI Ier dIgnIIIed IsoIuLIon, Lo IInd common ground wILIouL becomIng
common, und Lo speuk u Iunguuge wIIcI even LIe musIcuIIy unLuugIL couId undersLund, us IL
undersLood LIe WoII's GIen und LIe JungIernkrunz und Wugner? AnyIow, senLImenLuIILy wus
noL LIe meuns Lo LIIs end, buL InsLeud und mucI sooner Irony, mockery; wIIcI, cIeurIng LIe uIr,
mude un opposIng purLy uguInsL LIe romunLIc, uguInsL puLIos und propIecy, sound-InLoxIcuLIon
und IILeruLure und u bond wILI LIe objecLIve und eIemenLuI - LIuL Is, wILI LIe redIscovery oI
musIc ILseII us un orgunIzuLIon oI LIme. A mosL precurIous sLurL. ¡or Iow neur dId noL IIe LIe IuIse
prImILIve, und LIus LIe romunLIc uguIn! To remuIn on LIe IeIgIL oI InLeIIecL; Lo resoIve InLo LIe
muLLer-oI-course LIe mosL excIusIve producLIons oI Europeun musIcuI deveIopmenL, so LIuL
everybody couId grusp LIe new; Lo muke LIemseIves ILs musLer, uppIyIng IL unconcernedIy us Iree
buIIdIng muLerIuI und mukIng LrudILIon IeIL, recoIned InLo LIe opposILe oI LIe epIgonuI; Lo muke
LecInIque, Iowever IIgI IL Iud cIImbed, enLIreIy unImporLunL, und uII LIe urLs oI counLerpoInL
und InsLrumenLuLIon Lo dIsuppeur und meIL LogeLIer Lo un eIIecL oI sImpIIcILy very Iur Irom
sImpIIcILy, un InLeIIecLuuIIy wInged sImpIIcILy - LIuL seemed Lo be LIe objecL und LIe cruvIng oI
urL.
¡L wus mosLIy AdrIun wIo LuIked, onIy sIIgILIy seconded by us. ExcILed by LIe pIuyIng, Ie spoke
wILI IIusIed cIeeks und IoL eyes, sIIgILIy IeverIsI; noL In u sLeudy sLreum buL more us jusL
LIrowIng ouL remurks, yeL wILI so mucI unImuLIon LIuL ¡ IeIL ¡ Iud never seen IIm, eILIer In
mIne or In RüdIger's presence, so eIoquenLIy Luken ouL oI IImseII. ScIIIdknupp Iud gIven expres-
sIon Lo IIs dIsbeIIeI In LIe deromunLIcIzIng oI musIc. MusIc wus uILer uII Loo deepIy und
essenLIuIIy bound up wILI LIe romunLIc ever Lo rejecL IL wILIouL serIous nuLuruI dumuge Lo ILseII.
To wIIcI AdrIun:
"¡ wIII gIudIy ugree wILI you, II you meun by LIe romunLIc u wurmLI oI IeeIIng wIIcI musIc In
LIe servIce oI LecInIcuI InLeIIecLuuIILy Loduy rejecLs. ¡L Is probubIy seII-denIuI. BuL wIuL we cuIIed
LIe purIIIcuLIon oI LIe compIIcuLed InLo LIe sImpIe Is uL boLLom LIe sume us LIe wInnIng buck oI
LIe vILuI und LIe power oI IeeIIng. ¡I IL were possIbIe - wIoever succeeded In - Iow wouId you
suy IL?" Ie Lurned Lo me und LIen unswered IImseII: " - LIe breuk-LIrougI, you wouId suy;
wIoever succeeded In LIe breukLIrougI Irom InLeIIecLuuI coIdness InLo u LoucI-und-go worId oI
new IeeIIng, IIm one sIouId cuII LIe suvIour oI urL. RedempLIon," Ie wenL on, wILI u nervous
sIouIder-sIrug, "u romunLIc word, und u IurmonIc wrILer's word, sIop LuIk Ior LIe cudence-
bIIssIuI-ness oI IurmonIc musIc. ¡sn'L IL umusIng LIuL musIc Ior u Iong LIme consIdered IerseII u
meuns oI reIeuse, wIereus sIe IerseII, IIke uII LIe urLs, needed Lo be redeemed Irom u pompous
IsoIuLIon, wIIcI wus LIe IruIL oI LIe cuILure-emuncIpuLIon, LIe eIevuLIon oI cuILure us u subsLILuLe
Ior reIIgIon - Irom beIng uIone wILI un eIILe oI cuILure, cuIIed LIe pubIIc, wIIcI soon wIII no
Ionger be, wIIcI even now no Ionger Is, so LIuL soon urL wIII be enLIreIy uIone, uIone Lo dIe, unIess
sIe were Lo IInd Ier wuy Lo LIe IoIk, LIuL Is, Lo suy IL unromunLIcuIIy, Lo Iumun beIngs?"
He suId und usked LIuL uII In one breuLI In u Iowered, conversuLIonuI Lone, buL wILI u
conceuIed Lremor wIIcI one undersLood onIy wIen Ie IInIsIed:
"TIe wIoIe Lemper oI urL, beIIeve me, wIII cIunge, und wILIuI InLo LIe bIILIer und more
modesL; IL Is InevILubIe, und IL Is u good LIIng. MucI meIuncIoIy umbILIon wIII IuII uwuy Irom Ier,
und u new Innocence, yes, IurmIessness wIII be Iers. TIe IuLure wIII see In Ier, sIe IerseII wIII
once more see In IerseII, LIe servunL oI u communILy wIIcI wIII comprIse Iur more LIun
'educuLIon' und wIII noL Iuve cuILure buL wIII perIups be u cuILure. We cun onIy wILI dIIIIcuILy
ImugIne sucI u LIIng; und yeL IL wIII be, und be LIe nuLuruI LIIng: un urL wILIouL unguIsI,
psycIoIogIcuIIy IeuILIy, noL soIemn, unsudIy conIIdIng, un urL per du wILI IumunILy... "
He broke oII, und we uII LIree suL sIIenL und sIuken. ¡L Is puInIuI und IeurL-sLIrrIng uL once Lo
Ieur LuIk oI IsoIuLIon Irom LIe communILy, remoLeness Irom LrusL. WILI uII my emoLIon ¡ wus yeL
In my deepesL souI unsuLIsIIed wILI IIs uLLerunce, dIrecLIy dIssuLIsIIed wILI IIm. WIuL Ie Iud
suId dId noL IIL wILI IIm, IIs prIde, IIs urrogunce II you IIke, wIIcI ¡ Ioved, und Lo wIIcI urL Ius u
rIgIL. ArL Is mInd, und mInd does noL uL uII need Lo IeeI ILseII obIIguLed Lo LIe communILy, Lo
socIeLy - IL muy noL, In my vIew, Ior LIe suke oI ILs Ireedom, ILs nobIIILy. An urL LIuL "goes In
unLo" LIe IoIk, wIIcI mukes Ier own LIe needs oI LIe crowd, oI LIe IILLIe mun, oI smuII mInds,
urrIves uL wreLcIedness, und Lo muke IL Ier duLy is LIe worsL smuII-mIndedness, und LIe rrIurder
oI mInd und spIrIL. And IL Is my convIcLIon LIuL mInd, In ILs mosL uuducIous, unresLruIned
udvunce und reseurcIes, cun, Iowever unsuILed Lo LIe musses, be cerLuIn In some IndIrecL wuy Lo
serve mun - In LIe Iong run men.
DoubLIess LIuL wus uIso LIe nuLuruI opInIon oI AdrIun. BuL IL pIeused IIm Lo deny IL, und ¡ wus
very mucI mIsLuken II ¡ Iooked uL LIuL us u conLrudIcLIon oI IIs urrogunce. More IIkeIy IL wus un
eIIorL Lo condescend, sprIngIng Irom LIe sume urrogunce. ¡I onIy LIere Iud noL been LIuL
LrembIIng In IIs voIce wIen Ie spoke oI LIe need oI urL Lo be redeemed, oI urL beIng per du wILI
IumunILy! TIuL wus IeeIIng: despILe everyLIIng IL LempLed me Lo gIve IIs Iund u sLoIen pressure.
BuL ¡ dId noL do so; InsLeud ¡ kepL un eye on RudI ScIwerdLIeger IesL Ie uguIn be moved Lo em-
bruce IIm.

CHAPTIR XXXII
¡nez Rodde's murrIuge Lo ProIessor Dr. HeImuL ¡nsLILorIs Look pIuce uL LIe begInnIng oI LIe
wur, wIen LIe counLry wus sLIII In good condILIon und sLrong In Iope, und ¡ myseII sLIII In LIe
IIeId, In LIe sprIng oI 1q1¸. ¡L wenL oII wILI uII LIe proper bourgeoIs IIourIsIes: ceremonIes cIvII
und reIIgIous und u weddIng dInner In LIe HoLeI VIer JuIreszeILen, uILer wIIcI LIe young puIr IeIL
Ior Dresden und LIe Suxon SwILzerIund. SucI wus LIe ouLcome oI u Iong probuLIon on boLI sIdes,
wIIcI Iud evIdenLIy Ied Lo LIe concIusIon LIuL LIey were suILed Lo eucI oLIer. TIe reuder wIII
noLe LIe Irony wIIcI ¡, LruIy wILIouL muIIce, express In LIe word "evIdenLIy," Ior sucI u condILIon
eILIer dId noL exIsL or eIse Iud exIsLed Irom LIe begInnIng, und no deveIopmenL Iud occurred In
LIe reIuLIons beLween LIe Lwo sInce HeImuL Iud IIrsL upproucIed LIe duugILer oI LIe deceused
SenuLor. WIuL on boLI sIdes spoke Ior LIe unIon dId so uL LIe momenL oI beLroLIuI und murrIuge
no more und no Iess LIun IL Iud In LIe begInnIng, und noLIIng new Iud been udded. BuL LIe
cIussIc uduge: "¡ook beIore you Ieup" Iud been IormuIIy compIIed wILI, und LIe very IengLI oI LIe
LesL, udded Lo LIe pressure due Lo LIe wur, seemed IInuIIy Lo demund u posILIve soIuLIon. ¡ndeed,
IL Iud rIpened In IusLe severuI oLIer unseLLIed uIIuIrs. ¡nez's consenL, Iowever, wIIcI sIe - on
psycIoIogIcuI or sIuII ¡ suy muLerIuI grounds, LIuL Is Lo suy Ior common-sense reusons - Iud
uIwuys been more or Iess reudy Lo gIve, Iud been LIe reudIer becuuse CIurIssu, Lowurd LIe end oI
LIe prevIous yeur, Iud IeIL MunIcI und enLered on Ier IIrsL engugemenL In CeIIe on LIe AIIer, so
LIuL Ier sIsLer wus IeIL uIone wILI u moLIer oI wIose boIemIun IeunIngs, Lume us LIey were, sIe
dIsupproved. TIe ¡ruu SenuLor, oI course, IeIL u joyous suLIsIucLIon wILI LIe good bourgeoIs
seLLIemenL Ier cIIId wus mukIng, Lo wIIcI sIe Iud muLerIuIIy conLrIbuLed by LIe enLerLuInIng sIe
dId und LIe socIuI ucLIvILIes oI Ier Iome. AL Ier own expense sIe Iud LIereby served LIe eusy-
goIng "souLI-Germun" Iove oI IIIe, wIIcI wus Ier wuy oI mukIng up Ior wIuL sIe Iud IosL, und
Iud Ier IudIng cIurms puId courL Lo by LIe men sIe InvILed, KnoLerIcI, KrunIcI, ZInk und
SpengIer, LIe young drumuLIc sLudenLs, und so on. Yes, ¡ do noL go Loo Iur, perIups In LIe end
onIy jusL Iur enougI, wIen ¡ suy LIuL even wILI RudI ScIwerdLIeger sIe wus on u jesLIng, LeusIng
LruvesLy oI u moLIer-und-son IooLIng. UncommonIy oILen wIen sIe LuIked wILI IIm Ier IumIIIur
uIIecLed cooIng IuugI couId be Ieurd. BuL uILer uII ¡ Iuve InLImuLed or ruLIer expressed ubouL
¡nez's Inner IIIe, ¡ cun Ieuve IL Lo LIe reuder Lo ImugIne LIe mIngIed dIsLusLe und emburrussmenL
LIuL sIe IeIL uL LIe sIgIL oI Ier moLIer's pIIIunderIng. ¡L Ius Iuppened In my presence LIuL
durIng sucI u scene sIe IeIL LIe druwIng-room wILI IIusIed cIeeks und sIuL IerseII In Ier room,
uL wIose door uILer u quurLer oI un Iour, us sIe Iud probubIy Ioped und expecLed, RudoII
knocked Lo usk wIy sIe Iud gone uwuy. SureIy Ie knew LIe unswer Lo IIs quesLIon; us sureIy IL
couId noL be puL In words. He wouId LeII Ier Iow mucI Ier presence wus mIssed und coux Ier In
uII LIe Lender noLes In IIs voIce, IncIudIng oI course LIe broLIerIy ones, Lo come buck. He wouId
noL resL unLII sIe promIsed - perIups noL wILI IIm, sIe wouId noL quILe do LIuL, buL u IILLIe
wIIIe uILer IIm - Lo reLurn Lo LIe compuny.
¡ muy be purdoned Ior uddIng LIIs suppIemenL, wIIcI Impressed ILseII on my memory, LIougI
IL Iud been comIorLubIy dropped ouL oI ¡ruu SenuLor Rodde's now LIuL ¡nez's beLroLIuI und mur-
rIuge were uccompIIsIed IucL. SIe Iud provIded LIe weddIng wILI due pomp und cIrcumsLunce,
und In LIe ubsence oI uny consIderubIe dowry Iud noL IuIIed Lo suppIy u proper equIpmenL oI
IInen und sIIver. SIe even purLed wILI vurIous pIeces oI IurnILure Irom Iormer duys, sucI us
curved cIesLs und LIIs or LIuL gIIL "occusIonuI cIuIr," Lo conLrIbuLe Lo LIe IurnIsIIngs oI LIe
ImposIng new Iome wIIcI LIe young puIr Iud renLed In PrInzregenLensLrusse, Lwo IIIgILs up,
IookIng ouL on LIe EngIIsI Gurden. Yes, us LIougI Lo prove Lo IerseII und oLIers LIuL Ier socIuI
underLukIngs und uII LIe IIveIy evenIngs In Ier druwIng-room Iud reuIIy onIy served Lo IurLIer
Ier duugILers' prospecLs oI IuppIness und seLLIemenL In IIIe, sIe now expressed u dIsLIncL wIsI Lo
reLIre, un IncIInuLIon Lo wILIdruw Irom LIe worId. SIe no Ionger enLerLuIned, und u yeur uILer
¡nez's murrIuge sIe guve up Ier upurLmenL In LIe RumbergsLrusse und puL Ier wIdowed exIsLence
upon un uILered IooLIng. SIe moved ouL Lo PIeIIIerIng, wIere uImosL wILIouL AdrIun beIng uwure
oI IL sIe Look up Ier resIdence In LIe Iow buIIdIng on LIe squure opposILe LIe ScIweIgesLIII
courLyurd, wILI LIe cIesLnuLs In IronL oI IL, wIere IormerIy LIe puInLer oI LIe meIuncIoIy Iund-
scupes oI LIe WuIdsIuL moors Iud Iud IIs quurLers.
¡L Is remurkubIe wIuL cIurm LIIs modesL yeL pIcLuresque corner oI LIe eurLI possessed Ior
every sorL oI dIsLInguIsIed resIgnuLIon or bruIsed IumunILy. PerIups LIe expIunuLIon Iuy In LIe
cIurucLer oI LIe proprIeLors und especIuIIy In LIuL oI LIe sLouL-IeurLed IundIudy ¡ruu EIse
ScIweIgesLIII und Ier power oI "undersLundIng." SIe wus umuzIngIy cIeur-sIgILed, und sIe
dIspIuyed Ier gIIL In occusIonuI LuIk wILI AdrIun, us wIen sIe LoId IIm LIuL LIe ¡ruu SenuLor wus
movIng In ucross LIe roud. "¡L's preLLy pIuIn Lo see," sIe suId In Ier peusunL sIngsong, "eusy us
un'LIIng, ¡ see IL wILI IuII un eye, Herr ¡everküIn, eI! - sIe goL ouL oI conceIL wILI cILy IoIk's
doIngs und Iudy und genLIemun munners und wuys, becuuse sIe IeeIs Ier uge und sIe's sIngIn'
smuII, IL Lukes dIIIerenL peopIe dIIIerenL wuys, ¡ meun, eI, some don'L cure u IooL, LIey bruzen IL
ouL und LIey Iook good Loo, LIey jusL geL more resLIess und roguIsI, eI, und puL on IuIse IronLs
und muke rIngIeLs oI LIeIr wIILe IuIrs muybe und so on und so IorLI, reuI peurL, und don'L do uny
more IIke LIey used Lo, und ucL uuducIous und IL oILen Lukes LIe men more LIun you'd LIInk, eI,
buL wILI some LIuL don'L go, und don'L do, so wIen LIeIr cIeeks IuII In und LIeIr necks geL
scruwny IIke u Ien und noLIIn' Lo do Ior LIe LeeLI wIen you IuugI, so LIey cun'L IoId ouL, und
grIeve uL LIeIr Iooks In LIe gIuss und ucL IIke u sIck cuL und IIde uwuy, und wIen 'LuInL LIe neck
und LIe LeeLI, LIen IL's LIe IuIr, eI, und wILI LIIs one IL's LIe IuIr's LIe worsL, ¡ couId LeII rIgIL oII,
oLIerwuys IL's noL so bud, none oI IL, buL LIe IuIr, IL's goIn' on Lop, eI, so LIe purL's gone Lo ruck
und ruIn und sIe cun'L do un'LIIn' uny more wILI LIe Longs, und so sIe's sLruck uII oI u Ieup, Ior
IL's u greuL puIn, beIIeve me, und so sIe jusL gIves up LIe gIosL eI, und moves ouL In LIe counLry,
Lo ScIweIgesLIIIs', und LIuL's uII 'LIs."
TIus LIe moLIer, wILI Ier smooLIIy druwn IuIr, jusL IIgILIy sIIvered, wILI LIe purLIng In LIe
mIddIe sIowIng LIe wIILe skIn. AdrIun, us ¡ suId, wus IILLIe uIIecLed by LIe udvenL oI LIe Iodger
over LIe wuy, wIo, wIen sIe IIrsL vIsILed LIe Iouse, wus brougIL by LIeIr IundIudy Lo greeL IIm.
TIen ouL oI respecL Ior IIs work sIe muLcIed IIs reserve wILI Ier own und onIy once jusL uL IIrsL
Iud IIm Ior Leu wILI Ier, In LIe Lwo sImpIe wIILewusIed Iow-ceIIed rooms on LIe ground IIoor,
beIInd LIe cIesLnuL Lrees, IurnIsIed quuInLIy enougI wILI LIe eIegunL bourgeoIs reIIcs oI Ier
Iormer IouseIoId, LIe cundeIubru, LIe sLuIIed eusy-cIuIrs, LIe GoIden Horn In ILs Ieuvy Irume,
LIe grund pIuno wILI LIe brocuded scurI. ¡rom LIen on, meeLIng In LIe vIIIuge or on LIeIr wuIks,
LIey sImpIy excIunged IrIendIy greeLIngs or sLopped u Iew mInuLes Lo cIuL ubouL LIe sud sLuLe oI
LIe counLry und LIe growIng Iood sIorLuges In LIe cILIes. OuL Iere one suIIered mucI Iess, so LIuL
LIe reLIremenL oI LIe ¡ruu SenuLor Iud u prucLIcuI jusLIIIcuLIon und even becume u genuIne
InLeresL, Ior IL enubIed Ier Lo provIde Ier duugILers und uIso Iormer IrIends oI LIe Iouse, IIke LIe
KnoLerIcIs, wILI suppIIes Irom PIeIIIerIng: eggs, buLLer, IIour, suusuges, und so on. DurIng LIe
worsL yeurs sIe mude quILe u busIness ouL oI puckIng und posLIng provIsIons. TIe KnoLerIcIs Iud
Luken over ¡nez Rodde, now rIcI und seLLIed und weII wudded uguInsL IIIe, InLo LIeIr own socIuI
cIrcIe Irom LIe IILLIe group wIo Iud uLLended Ier moLIer's evenIngs. TIey uIso InvILed LIe numIs-
muLIsL Dr. KrunIcI, ScIIIdknupp, RudI ScIwerdLIeger, und myseII; buL noL ZInk und SpengIer,
nor LIe IILLIe LIeuLre peopIe wIo Iud been CIurIssu's coIIeugues. ¡nsLeud LIeIr oLIer guesLs were
Irom unIversILy cIrcIes, or oIder und younger LeucIers oI LIe Lwo ucudemIes und LIeIr wIves. WILI
LIe SpunIsI-exoLIc ¡ruu KnoLerIcI, NuLuIIe, ¡nez wus on IrIendIy or even InLImuLe Lerms, LIIs
uILIougI LIe reuIIy uLLrucLIve womun Iud LIe repuLuLIon, preLLy weII conIIrmed, oI beIng u
morpIIne uddIcL; u rumour LIuL wus jusLIIIed by my observuLIon oI LIe speukIng brIIIIunce oI Ier
eyes uL LIe begInnIng oI un evenIng und Ier occusIonuI dIsuppeurunce In order Lo reIresI Ier
gruduuIIy wunIng spIrILs. ¡ suw LIuL ¡nez, wIo seL sucI sLore by puLrIcIun dIgnILy und conservuLIve
proprIeLy, wIo Indeed Iud onIy murrIed Lo gruLIIy LIose LusLes, cIose Lo go ubouL wILI NuLuIIe
ruLIer LIun wILI LIe sLuId spouses oI Ier Iusbund's coIIeugues, LIe LypIcuI Germun proIessors'
wIves. SIe even vIsILed und receIved NuLuIIe uIone. And LIus wus reveuIed Lo me unew LIe spIIL In
Ier nuLure; LIe IucL LIuL despILe Ier nosLuIgIu Ior IL, LIe bourgeoIs IIIe Iud no reuI vIubIIILy Ior
Ier.
TIuL sIe dId noL Iove Ier Iusbund, LIuL ruLIer IImILed LeucIer oI uesLIeLIcs, wrupped In IIs
dreums oI beuuLy und bruLuIILy, ¡ couId noL doubL. ¡L wus u conscIous Iove oI respecLubIIILy LIuL
sIe devoLed Lo IIm, und so mucI Is Lrue, LIuL sIe upIeId wILI consummuLe dIsLIncLIon, reIIned
yeL more by Ier expressIon oI deIIcuLe und IusLIdIous roguIsIness, Ier Iusbund's sLuLIon In IIIe.
Her meLIcuIous conducL oI IIs IouseIoId und IIs socIuI ucLIvILIes mIgIL even be cuIIed pedunLIc;
und sIe ucIIeved IL under economIc condILIons wIIcI yeur by yeur mude IL Iurder und Iurder Lo
susLuIn LIe sLundurds oI bourgeoIs correcLness. To uId Ier In LIe cure oI LIe Iundsome und
expensIve upurLmenL wILI ILs PersIun rugs und sIInIng purqueLry IIoors sIe Iud Lwo weII-LruIned
muIdservunLs, dressed very comme il jcut In IILLIe cups und sLurcIed upron-sLrIngs. One oI LIem
served Ier us Iudy's muId. To rIng Ior LIIs SopIIe wus Ier pussIon. SIe dId IL uII LIe LIme, Lo enjoy
LIe urIsLocruLIc servIce und ussure IerseII oI LIe proLecLIon und cure sIe Iud bougIL wILI Ier
murrIuge. ¡L wus SopIIe wIo Iud Lo puck LIe numberIess Lrunks und boxes sIe Look wILI Ier
wIen sIe wenL Lo LIe counLry wILI ¡nsLILorIs, Lo Tegernsee or BercILesguden, II onIy Ior u Iew
duys. TIese mounLuIns oI Iugguge wILI wIIcI sIe weIgIed IerseII down uL every smuIIesL
excursIon ouL oI Ier nesL were Lo me IIkewIse symboIIc oI Ier need oI proLecLIon und Ier Ieur oI
IIIe.
¡ musL descrIbe u IILLIe more purLIcuIurIy LIe ImmucuIuLe eIgIL-roomed upurLmenL In LIe
PrInzregenLensLrusse. ¡L Iud Lwo druwIng-rooms, one oI wIIcI, more InLImuLeIy IurnIsIed,
served us IumIIy IIvIng-room; u spucIous dInIng-room In curved ouk, und u genLIemen's den und
smokIng-room suppIIed wILI IeuLIer-upIoIsLered comIorL. TIe sIeepIng-room oI LIe murrIed
puIr Iud LwIn beds wILI u sembIunce oI u LesLer In poIIsIed yeIIow peur-wood ubove LIem. On LIe
LoIIeLLe-LubIe LIe gIILLerIng boLLIes, LIe sIIver LooIs were runged In rows uccordIng Lo sIze. AII LIIs
wus u puLLern, one wIIcI sLIII survIved Ior some yeurs InLo LIe perIod oI dIsInLegruLIon: u puLLern
esLubIIsImenL oI Germun bourgeoIs cuILure, noL IeusL by vIrLue oI LIe "good books" you Iound
everywIere In IIvIng- und recepLIon-rooms. TIe coIIecLIon, on grounds purLIy represenLuLIve,
purLIy psycIoIogIcuI, uvoIded LIe excILIng und dIsLurbIng. ¡L wus dIgnIIIed und cuILured, wILI LIe
IIsLorIes oI ¡eopoId von Runke, LIe works oI GregorovIus, urL IIsLorIes, Germun und ¡rencI
cIussIcs - In sIorL, LIe soIId und conservuLIve - us ILs IounduLIon. WILI LIe yeurs LIe upurLmenL
grew more beuuLIIuI, or uL IeusL IuIIer und more eIuboruLe; Ior Dr. ¡nsLILorIs knew LIIs or LIuL
MunIcI urLIsL oI LIe more conservuLIve GIuspuIusL scIooI. HIs LusLe In urL, despILe uII IIs LIeoreLIc
espousuI oI LIe gorgeous und burburIc, wus decIdedIy Lume. ¡n purLIcuIur LIere wus u cerLuIn
NoLLeboIm, u nuLIve oI Humburg, murrIed, IoIIow-cIeeked, wILI u poInLed beurd; u droII mun,
cIever uL IrIgILIuIIy Iunny ImILuLIons oI ucLors, unImuIs, musIcuI InsLrumenLs, und proIessors, u
puLron oI LIe now decIInIng curnIvuI IesLIvuI, us u porLruILIsL cIever uL LIe socIuI LecInIque oI
cuLcIIng subjecLs und us un urLIsL, ¡ muy suy, possessIng u gIossy und InIerIor puInLIng sLyIe.
¡nsLILorIs, uccusLomed Lo proIessIonuI IumIIIurILy wILI musLerpIeces, eILIer dId noL dIsLInguIsI
beLween LIem und deIL medIocrILy, or eIse Ie LIougIL IIs commIssIons were u due oI IrIendsIIp,
or eIse Ie usked noLIIng beLLer LIun LIe reIIned und InoIIensIve Ior LIe udornmenL oI IIs wuIIs.
TIereIn doubLIess Ie wus supporLed by IIs wIIe, II noL on grounds oI LusLe, LIen us u muLLer oI
IeeIIng. So LIey boLI Iud LIemseIves done Ior good money by NoLLeboIm, very IIke und noL uL uII
speukIng porLruILs, eucI uIone und boLI LogeLIer; und IuLer, wIen cIIIdren cume, LIe Iunny mun
mude u IIIe-sIze IumIIy group oI uII LIe ¡nsLILorIses, u coIIecLIon oI wooden doIIs, on LIe
respecLubIe cunvus oI wIIcI u greuL deuI oI IIgIIy vurnIsIed oII puInL Iud been expended. AII
LIese udorned LIe recepLIon-rooms, In rIcI Irumes, provIded wILI LIeIr own IndIvIduuI eIecLrIc
IIgILIng ubove und beIow.
WIen cIIIdren cume, ¡ suId. ¡or cIIIdren dId come; und wILI wIuL uddress, wIuL persIsLenL,
one mIgIL uImosL suy IeroIc IgnorIng oI cIrcumsLunces Iess und Iess IuvourubIe Lo LIe puLrIcIun
und bourgeoIs were LIey cured Ior und brougIL up - Ior u worId, one mIgIL suy, us IL Iud been
und noL us IL wus Lo become. AL LIe end oI 1q1¸ ¡nez presenLed Ier Iusbund wILI u smuII
duugILer, numed ¡ucrezIu, begoL In LIe poIIsIed yeIIow bedsLeud wILI LIe LesLer, nexL Lo LIe
symmeLrIcuIIy runged sIIver ImpIemenLs on LIe LoIIeLLe-LubIe. ¡nez decIured uL once LIuL sIe
InLended Lo muke oI Ier u perIecLIy brougIL-up young gIrI, une jeune jile cccomplie, sIe suId In
Ier KurIsruIe ¡rencI. Two yeurs IuLer cume LwIns, uIso IemuIe; LIey were cIrIsLened AenncIen
und RIekcIen, wILI LIe sume correcL pomp und ceremony, uL Iome, wILI cIocoIuLe, porL wIne,
und drugees. TIe cIrIsLenIng busIn wus sIIver, wILI u gurIund oI IIowers. AII LIree were IuIr,
cIurmIngIy pumpered, IIspIng IILLIe beIngs, concerned ubouL LIeIr Irocks und susIes, obvIousIy
under pressure Irom LIe moLIer's perIecLIon-compuIsIon. TIey were sensILIve-pIunLs grown In
LIe sIude, puLIeLIcuIIy Luken up wILI LIemseIves. TIey spenL LIeIr eurIy duys In cosLIy bussIneLs
wILI sIIk curLuIns, und were Luken ouL Lo drIve In IILLIe go-curLs oI LIe mosL eIegunL consLrucLIon,
wILI rubber wIeeIs, under LIe IIme Lrees oI LIe PrInzregenLensLrusse. TIey Iud u weL-nurse Irom
"LIe peopIe," decked ouL In LIe LrudILIonuI cosLume und rIbbons ¡Ike u Iumb Ior LIe sucrIIIce.
¡nez dId noL nurse Ier cIIIdren IerseII, LIe IumIIy docLor IuvIng udvIsed uguInsL IL. ¡uLer u
¡ruuIeIn, u LruIned kIndergurLen LeucIer, Look cIurge oI LIem. TIe IIgIL, brIgIL room wIere LIey
grew up, wIere LIeIr IILLIe beds sLood, wIere ¡nez vIsILed LIem wIenever LIe cIuIms oI LIe
IouseIoId und Ier own person permILLed, Iud u IrIeze oI IuIry-sLorIes round LIe wuIIs, IubuIous
dwurI IurnILure, u guy IInoIeum-covered IIoor, und u worId oI weII-ordered Loys, Leddy-beurs,
Iumbs on wIeeIs, jumpIng-jucks, KuLIe Kruse doIIs, ruIIwuy LruIns, on sIeIves uIong LIe wuIIs -
In sIorL, IL wus LIe very puLLern oI u cIIIdren's purudIse, correcL In every deLuII.
MusL ¡ suy now, or repeuL, LIuL wILI uII LIIs correcLness LIIngs were by no meuns correcL, LIuL
LIey resLed on seII-wIII, noL Lo suy on u IIe, und were noL onIy more und more cIuIIenged Irom
wILIouL, buL Ior LIe sIurper eye, LIe eye sIurpened by sympuLIy, were crumbIIng wILIIn, LIey
guve no IuppIness, neILIer were LIey LruIy beIIeved In or wIIIed? AII LIIs good IorLune und good
LusLe uIwuys seemed Lo me u conscIous denIuI und wIILewusIIng oI LIe probIem. ¡L wus In sLrunge
conLrudIcLIon Lo ¡nez's cuIL oI suIIerIng, und In my opInIon LIe womun wus Loo sIrewd noL Lo see
LIuL LIe IdeuI IILLIe bourgeoIs brood wIIcI sIe Iud wIIIuIIy mude oI Ier cIIIdren wus LIe
expressIon und over-uII correcLIon oI LIe IucL LIuL sIe dId noL Iove LIem, buL suw In LIem LIe
IruILs oI u connecLIon sIe Iud enLered InLo wILI u bud conscIence us u womun und In wIIcI sIe
IIved wILI pIysIcuI repuIsIon.
Good God, IL wus cerLuInIy no InLoxIcuLIng bIIss Ior u womun Lo go Lo bed wILI HeImuL
¡nsLILorIs! So mucI ¡ undersLund oI IemInIne dreums und demunds; und ¡ uIwuys Iud Lo ImugIne
LIuL ¡nez Iud mereIy LoIeruLed receIvIng Ier cIIIdren Irom IIm, ouL oI u sense oI duLy und so Lo
speuk wILI Ier Ieud Lurned uwuy. ¡or LIey were IIs, LIe Iooks oI uII LIree IeIL no doubL oI LIuL,
LIe IIkeness wILI IIm beIng mucI sLronger LIun LIuL wILI LIe moLIer, possIbIy becuuse Ier
psycIoIogIcuI purLIcIpuLIon wIen sIe conceIved LIem Iud been so sIIgIL. And ¡ wouId In no wuy
Impugn LIe muscuIIne Ionour oI LIe IILLIe mun. He wus cerLuInIy u wIoIe mun, even In u munIkIn
edILIon, und LIrougI IIm ¡nez Ieurned desIre - u IupIess desIre, u sIuIIow soII wIereon Ier
pussIon wus Lo sprIng up und grow runk.
¡ Iuve suId LIuL ¡nsLILorIs, wIen Ie begun Lo woo LIe muIden ¡nez, Iud ucLuuIIy done so Ior
unoLIer. And so IL wus now Loo: us u Iusbund Ie wus onIy LIe uwukener oI errunL IongIngs, oI u
IuII-experIence oI joy uL boLLom onIy IrusLruLIng, wIIcI demunded IuIIIImenL, conIIrmuLIon,
suLIsIucLIon, und mude LIe puIn sIe suIIered on RudI ScIwerdLIeger's uccounL, wIIcI sIe Iud so
sLrungeIy reveuIed Lo me, IIure up InLo pussIon. ¡L Is quILe cIeur: wIen sIe wus LIe objecL oI
courLsIIp sIe begun dIsLressIuIIy Lo LIInk oI IIm; us dIsIIIusIoned wIIe sIe IeII In Iove wILI IIm,
In IuII conscIousness und wILI uLLer ubundonmenL Lo IeeIIng und desIre. And LIere cun be no
doubL LIuL LIe young mun couId noL uvoId respondIng Lo LIIs IeeIIng Lowurds IIm, comIng us IL
dId Irom u suIIerIng und spIrILuuIIy superIor beIng. ¡ Iud uImosL suId IL wouId Iuve been "sLIII
IIner" II Ie Iud not IIsLened Lo IL - und ¡ couId Ieur Ier sIsLer's "Hop, mun, Iop, wIuL's LIe
muLLer wILI you - jump up!" AguIn, ¡ um noL wrILIng u noveI, und ¡ do noL cIuIm LIe wrILer's
omnIscIenL eye, peneLruLIng InLo LIe drumuLIc deveIopmenL oI un uIIuIr IIdden Irom uII LIe resL
oI LIe worId. BuL so mucI Is cerLuIn: LIuL RudoII, drIven InLo u corner, quILe InvoIunLurIIy und
wILI u "WIuL sIuII ¡ do?" obeyed LIuL IuugILy commund, und ¡ cun very weII ImugIne Iow IIs
pussIon Ior IIIrLuLIon, In LIe begInnIng u IurmIess umusemenL, beLruyed IIm InLo sILuuLIons more
und more excILIng und enIIumIng, endIng In u IIuIson, wIIcI wILIouL LIIs Lendency oI IIs Lo pIuy
wILI IIre, Ie couId Iuve uvoIded.
¡n oLIer words, under cover oI LIe bourgeoIs proprIeLy sIe Iud so nosLuIgIcuIIy Ionged Ior us u
reIuge, ¡nez ¡nsLILorIs IIved In uduILery wILI u mun In yeurs, u youLI In menLuI consLILuLIon und
beIuvIour, u IudIes' peL wIo mude Ier suIIer und doubL, jusL us u IrIvoIous womun wIII cuuse
unguIsI Lo u serIous und IovIng mun. ¡n IIs urms LIen, Ier senses, uroused by un unIovIng
murrIuge, Iound suLIsIucLIon. SIe IIved LIus Ior yeurs, Irom u LIme wIIcI II ¡ um rIgIL wus noL
Iong uILer Ier murrIuge up Lo LIe end oI LIe decude; und wIen sIe no Ionger so IIved, IL wus
becuuse Ie wIom sIe sougIL wILI uII Ier sLrengLI Lo IoId escuped Ier. ¡L wus sIe wIo, wIIIe
pIuyIng LIe purL oI exempIury IousewIIe und moLIer, munuged LIe uIIuIr, munIpuIuLed und
conceuIed LIe duIIy urLIIIces und LIe doubIe IIIe, wIIcI nuLuruIIy gnuwed uL Ier nerves und
LerrIIIed Ier by LIreuLenIng LIe precurIous IoveIIness oI Ier Iooks: Ior InsLunce, IL deepened LIe
Lwo Iurrows beLween Ier bIond brows unLII sIe Iooked uImosL munIucuI. And LIen, despILe uII LIe
cuuLIon, cunnIng, und seII-conLroI used Lo IIde sucI devIous wuys Irom socIeLy's eyes, LIe wIII Lo
do so Is never, on eILIer sIde, quILe cIeur or consIsLenL. As Ior LIe mun, oI course IL musL IIuLLer
IIm II IIs good IorLune Is uL IeusL suspecLed; wIIIe Ior LIe womun IL Is u poInL oI secreL sexuuI
prIde Lo Iuve IL guessed LIuL sIe need noL conLenL IerseII wILI LIe curesses, by nobody very
IIgIIy ruLed, oI Ier Iusbund. So ¡ scurceIy deceIve myseII wIen ¡ ussume LIuL knowIedge oI ¡nez
¡nsLILorIs's sIde-sIIp wus IuIrIy wIdespreud In Ier MunIcI cIrcIe, uILIougI ¡ Iuve never, excepL
wILI AdrIun ¡everküIn, excIunged u word wILI unybody on LIe subjecL. Yes, ¡ wouId go so Iur us
Lo reckon wILI LIe possIbIIILy LIuL HeImuL IImseII knew LIe LruLI: u cerLuIn udmIxLure oI cuI-
Lured decency, deprecuLIng und regreLIuI LoIeruLIon, und - Iove oI peuce, speuks Ior LIe
supposILIon, und IL does Iuppen Iur Irom seIdom LIuL socIeLy Lukes LIe spouse Ior LIe onIy bIInd
one, wIIIe Ie LIInks LIuL excepL Ior IImseII no one knows unyLIIng. TIIs Is LIe commenL oI un
eIderIy mun wIo Ius observed IIIe.
¡ Iud noL LIe ImpressIon LIuL ¡nez LroubIed IerseII overmucI ubouL wIuL peopIe knew. SIe dId
Ier besL Lo prevenL LIeIr knowIng, buL LIuL wus more Lo preserve LIe convenunces; wIoever
ucLuuIIy musL know, IeL LIem, so Iong us LIey IeIL Ier uIone. PussIon Is Loo mucI Luken up wILI
ILseII Lo be ubIe Lo conceIve LIuL unyone wouId be serIousIy uguInsL IL. AL IeusL, IL Is so In muLLers
oI Iove, wIere IeeIIng cIuIms Ior ILseII every rIgIL In LIe worId und, Iowever IorbIdden und
scunduIous, quILe InvoIunLurIIy reckons on undersLundIng. How couId ¡nez, II sIe consIdered
IerseII oLIerwIse quILe unperceIved, Iuve Luken my own knowIedge so compIeLeIy Ior grunLed?
BuL sIe dId so, us good us regurdIess, excepL LIuL no nume wus menLIoned, In un evenIng
conversuLIon wIIcI we Iud - IL wouId be In LIe uuLumn oI 1q16 - und wIIcI obvIousIy wus oI
momenL Lo Ier. AL LIuL LIme, unIIke AdrIun, wIo wIen Ie Iud spenL LIe evenIng In MunIcI used
Lo sLIck Lo IIs eIeven-o'cIock LruIn buck Lo PIeIIIerIng, ¡ Iud renLed u room In ScIwubIng,
HoIenzoIIernsLrusse, noL Iur beIInd LIe SIegesLIor, In order Lo be IndependenL und on occusIon
Lo Iuve u rooI over my Ieud In LIe cILy. So wIen us u neur IrIend ¡ wus usked Lo LIe ¡nsLILorIses'
Ior LIe evenIng meuI, ¡ couId reudIIy uccepL LIe InvILuLIon gIven by ¡nez uL LubIe und seconded by
Ier Iusbund Lo keep Ier compuny uILer supper, wIen HeImuL, wIo wus Lo pIuy curds uL LIe
AIIoLrIu CIub, sIouId Iuve IeIL LIe Iouse. He wenL ouL sIorLIy uILer nIne, wIsIIng us u pIeusunL
evenIng. TIen LIe mIsLress oI LIe Iouse und Ier guesL suL uIone In LIe IumIIy IIvIng-room. ¡L wus
IurnIsIed wILI cusIIoned wIcker cIuIrs, und u busL oI ¡nez, In uIubusLer, mude by un urLIsL IrIend,
sLood on u pedesLuI: very IIke, very pIquunL, consIderubIy under IIIe-sIze, buL un uncommonIy
speukIng IIkeness, wILI LIe Ieuvy IuIr, LIe veIIed gIunce, LIe deIIcuLe, ouLsLreLcIed neck, LIe
mouLI pursed In u dIsduInIuI sorL oI mIscIIeI.
And uguIn ¡ wus LIe conIIdunL, LIe "good" mun, rousIng no emoLIon, In conLrusL Lo LIe worId oI
LIe IrresIsLIbIe, wIIcI wus IncorporuLed Ior ¡nez In LIe youLI ubouL wIom sIe Ionged Lo LuIk Lo
me. SIe suId IL IerseII: LIe LIIngs IuppenIng und IuvIng Iuppened, LIe joy, LIe Iove und
suIIerIng, dId noL come InLo LIeIr own II LIey remuIned wordIess, were onIy enjoyed und
suIIered. TIey were noL suLIsIIed In nIgIL und sIIence. TIe more secreL LIey were, LIe more LIey
requIred u LIIrd purLy, LIe InLImuLe IrIend, LIe good mun, Lo wIom und wILI wIom one couId
LuIk ubouL LIem - und LIuL wus ¡. ¡ suw IL und Look my roIe upon myseII.
¡or u wIIIe uILer HeImuL IeIL, us IL were wIIIe Ie wus wILIIn IeurIng, we spoke oI IndIIIerenL
LIIngs. TIen suddenIy, uImosL ubrupLIy, sIe suId:
"Serenus, do you bIume me, do you despIse und condemn me?"
¡L wouId Iuve been sIIIy Lo preLend ¡ dId noL undersLund.
"By no meuns. ¡nez." ¡ repIIed. "God IorbId! ¡ Iuve uIwuys been LoId: 'Vengeunce Is mIne, ¡ wIII
repuy.' ¡ know He IncIudes LIe punIsImenL In LIe sIn und suLuruLes IL LIerewILI so LIuL one cun-
noL be dIsLInguIsIed Irom LIe oLIer und IuppIness und punIsImenL ure LIe sume. You musL
suIIer very mucI. WouId ¡ sIL Iere II ¡ were consLILuLed u moruI judge over you? TIuL ¡ Ieur Ior
you ¡ do noL deny. BuL ¡ wouId Iuve kepL LIuL Lo myseII II noL Ior your quesLIon wIeLIer ¡ bIume
you."
"WIuL Is suIIerIng, wIuL Ieur und IumIIIuLIng dunger," suId sIe, "In compurIson wILI LIe one
sweeL, IndIspensubIe LrIumpI, wILIouL wIIcI one wouId noL IIve: Lo IoId Lo ILs beLLer seII LIuL
IrIvoIous, evusIve, worIdIy, LorLurIng, IrresponsIbIe cIurmIngness, wIIcI yeL Ius Lrue Iumun
vuIue; Lo drIve ILs IIIppuncy Lo serIous IeeIIng, Lo possess LIe eIusIve, und uL IusL, uL IusL, noL onIy
once buL Ior conIIrmuLIon und reussurunce never oILen enougI, Lo see IL In LIe sLuLe LIuL suILs ILs
worLI, LIe sLuLe oI devoLIon, oI deep suspIrIng pussIon!"
¡ do noL suy LIe womun used exucLIy LIese words, buL sIe expressed IerseII In very IIke ones.
SIe wus weII reud, uccusLomed Lo urLIcuIuLe Ier Inner IIIe In speecI; us u gIrI sIe Iud even
uLLempLed verse. WIuL sIe suId Iud u cuILured precIsIon und someLIIng oI LIe boIdness LIuL
uIwuys urIses wIen Iunguuge LrIes serIousIy Lo ucIIeve IeeIIng und IIIe, Lo muke LIem IIrsL LruIy
IIve, Lo exIuusL LIem In IL. TIIs Is no everyduy eIIorL, buL u producL oI emoLIon, und In so Iur
IeeIIng und mInd ure reIuLed, buL uIso In so Iur mInd geLs ILs LIrIIIIng eIIecL. As sIe wenL on
speukIng, seIdom IIsLenIng, wILI IuII un eur, Lo wIuL ¡ LIrew In, Ier words, ¡ musL IrunkIy suy,
were souked In u sensuuI bIIss LIuL mukes me scrupIe Lo reporL LIem dIrecLIy. SympuLIy,
dIscreLIon, Iumun reverence prevenL me, und uIso, muybe, u pIIIIsLIne reIucLunce Lo Impose
unyLIIng so puInIuI upon LIe reuder. SIe repeuLed IerseII oILen In u compuIsIve eIIorL Lo express
In beLLer Lerms wIuL sIe Iud uIreudy suId wILIouL In Ier opInIon doIng IL jusLIce. And uIwuys
LIere wus LIIs curIous equuLIon oI worLIIness wILI sensuuI pussIon, LIIs IIxed und sLrungeIy
drunken Ideu LIuL Inwurd worLIIness couId onIy IuIIII ILseII, reuIIze ILseII, In IIesIIy desIre, wIIcI
obvIousIy wus someLIIng oI IIke vuIue wILI "worLI"; LIuL IL wus uL once LIe IIgIesL und LIe mosL
IndIspensubIe IuppIness Lo keep LIem LogeLIer. ¡ cunnoL descrIbe LIe gIowIng, uIbeIL meIuncIoIy
und Insecure, unsuLIsIIed noLes In Ier voIce us sIe spoke oI LIIs mIxLure oI LIe Lwo concepLIons
uorth und desire, Iow mucI desIre uppeured us LIe proIoundIy serIous eIemenL, sLernIy opposed
Lo LIe IuLed "socIeLy" one, "socIeLy" wIere Lrue worLI In pIuy und coqueLry beLruyed ILseII; wIIcI
wus LIe InIumun, LreucIerous eIemenL oI ILs exLerIor surIuce umIubIIILy; und wIIcI one musL
Luke Irom IL, Leur Irom IL, Lo Iuve IL uIone, uLLerIy uIone, uIone In LIe mosL IInuI sense oI LIe word.
TIe dIscIpIInIng oI IovubIeness LIII IL becume Iove: LIuL wus wIuL IL umounLed Lo; buL uL LIe sume
LIme LIere wus more ubsLruse muLLer, ubouL someLIIng wIereIn LIougIL und sense mysLIcuIIy
meILed InLo one; LIe Ideu LIuL LIe conLrudIcLIon beLween LIe IrIvoIILy oI socIeLy und LIe
meIuncIoIy unLrusLworLIIness oI IIIe In generuI wus resoIved In IIs embruce, LIe suIIerIng IL
cuused mosL sweeLIy uvenged.
OI wIuL ¡ suId myseII ¡ scurceIy know by now uny deLuIIs, excepL one quesLIon InLended oI
course Lo poInL ouL Ier eroLIc over-esLImuLIon oI LIe objecL oI Ier Iove und Lo InquIre Iow IL wus
possIbIe: ¡ remember ¡ deIIcuLeIy IInLed LIuL LIe beIng Lo wIom sIe devoLed IL wus noL uILer uII
ucLuuIIy so vILuI, gIorIous, or consummuLeIy desIrubIe; LIuL LIe mIIILury exumInuLIon Iud sIowed
u pIysIoIogIcuI IuncLIonuI deIecL und LIe removuI oI un orgun. TIe unswer wus In LIe sense LIuL
LIIs deIecL onIy brougIL LIe IovubIe cIoser Lo LIe suIIerIng souI; LIuL wILIouL IL LIere wouId Iuve
been no Iope uL uII, IL wus jusL LIuL wIIcI Iud mude LIe IIckIe one uccessIbIe Lo LIe cry oI puIn;
more sLIII, und reveuIIng enougI: LIuL LIe sIorLenIng oI IIIe wIIcI mIgIL resuIL Irom IL wus more
oI u consoIuLIon und ussurunce Lo Ier wIo demunded possessIon LIun IL wus u moderuLIon oI Ier
Iove. ¡or LIe resL, uII LIe sLrungeIy emburrussIng deLuIIs Irom LIuL IIrsL LuIk were repeuLed now,
onIy resoIved In uImosL spILeIuI suLIsIucLIon: Ie mIgIL now muke LIe sume deprecuLIng remurk
LIuL Ie wouId Iuve Lo sIow IImseII uL LIe ¡ungewIescIes' or LIe RoIIwugens' (peopIe wIom one
dId noL know oneseII) und LIus beLruy LIuL Ie suId LIe sume LIIng Lo LIem; buL now LIere wus
LrIumpI In LIe LIougIL. TIe "rucIness" oI LIe RoIIwugen gIrIs wus no Ionger worryIng or
dIsLressIng: mouLI Lo mouLI wILI IIm, LIe sLIng wus druwn Irom LIose Loo IngruLIuLIng requesLs
Lo IndIIIerenL peopIe LIuL LIey reuIIy musL sLop on Ionger wILI IIm. As Ior LIuL IrIgILIuI "TIere
ure so muny unIuppy ones uIreudy": LIere wus u kInd oI sIgI on wIIcI LIe IgnomIny oI LIe words
wus bIown uwuy. TIIs womun wus pIuInIy IIIIed wILI LIe LIougIL LIuL wIIIe sIe dId Indeed
beIong Lo LIe worId oI enIIgILenmenL und suIIerIng, yeL uL LIe sume LIme sIe wus u womun und In
Ier IemInInILy possessed u meuns oI snuLcIIng IIIe und IuppIness Ior IerseII, oI brIngIng
urrogunce Lo Ier IeeL und Ier IeurL. EurIIer, Indeed, by u Iook, u serIous word, one couId puL
IIgIL-Ieudedness u momenL In u LIougILIuI mood, LemporurIIy wIn IL; one couId obIIge IL, uILer u
IIIppunL IureweII, Lo Lurn buck und correcL IL by u sIIenL und serIous one. BuL now LIese Lemporury
guIns Iud been conIIrmed In possessIon, In unIon; In so Iur us possessIon und unIon were
possIbIe In duuIILy, In so Iur us u broodIng IemInInILy couId secure LIem. ¡L wus LIIs wIIcI ¡nez
mIsLrusLed, beLruyIng Ier Iuck oI IuILI In LIe IoyuILy oI LIe beIoved. "Serenus," suId sIe, "IL Is
InevILubIe, ¡ know IL, Ie wIII Ieuve me." And ¡ suw LIe IoIds beLween Ier brows deepen und Ier
Iuce Luke on u IuII-mud expressIon. "BuL LIen woe Lo IIm! And woe Lo me!" sIe udded LoneIessIy,
und ¡ couId noL IeIp recuIIIng AdrIun's words wIen ¡ IIrsL LoId IIm ubouL LIe uIIuIr: "He musL see
LIuL Ie geLs ouL oI IL wIoIe."
¡or me LIe LuIk wus u reuI sucrIIIce. ¡L IusLed Lwo Iours, und mucI seII-denIuI, Iumun
sympuLIy, IrIendIy goodwIII were needed Lo IoId ouL. ¡nez seemed conscIous oI LIuL Loo, buL ¡
musL suy LIuL Ier gruLILude Ior LIe puLIence, LIme, und nervous sLruIn one devoLed Lo Ier wus,
oddIy enougI, unmIsLukubIy mIxed wILI u sorL oI muIIcIous suLIsIucLIon, u dog-In-LIe-munger
uLLILude expressIng ILseII In un occusIonuI enIgmuLIc smIIe. ¡ cunnoL LIInk oI IL Loduy wILIouL
wonderIng Iow ¡ bore IL so Iong. ¡n IucL we suL on unLII ¡nsLILorIs goL buck Irom LIe AIIoLrIu,
wIere Ie Iud been pIuyIng Lurok wILI some genLIemen. An expressIon oI emburrussed conjecLure
crossed IIs Iuce wIen Ie suw us sLIII LIere. He LIunked me Ior so kIndIy LukIng IIs pIuce und ¡
dId noL sIL down uguIn uILer greeLIng IIm. ¡ kIssed LIe Iund oI LIe mIsLress oI LIe Iouse und IeIL,
reuIIy unnerved, IuII ungry, IuII sorry, und wenL LIrougI LIe sIIenL empLy sLreeLs Lo my quurLers.

CHAPTIR XXXIII
TIe LIme oI wIIcI ¡ wrILe wus Ior us Germuns un eru oI nuLIonuI coIIupse, oI cupILuIuLIon, oI
uprIsIngs due Lo exIuusLIon, oI IeIpIess surrender InLo LIe Iunds oI sLrungers. TIe LIme in wIIcI
¡ wrILe, wIIcI musL serve me Lo seL down LIese recoIIecLIons Iere In my sIIence und soIILude, LIIs
LIme Ius u IorrIbIy swoIIen beIIy, IL currIes In ILs womb u nuLIonuI cuLusLropIe compured wILI
wIIcI LIe deIeuL oI LIose eurIIer duys seems u moderuLe mIsIorLune, LIe sensIbIe IIquIduLIon oI
un unsuccessIuI enLerprIse. Even un IgnomInIous Issue remuIns someLIIng oLIer und more
normuI LIun LIe judgmenL LIuL now Iungs over us, sucI us once IeII on Sodom und GomorruI;
sucI us LIe IIrsL LIme we Iud noL uILer uII Invoked.
TIuL IL upproucIes, LIuL IL Iong sInce becume InevILubIe: oI LIuL ¡ cunnoL beIIeve unybody sLIII
cIerIsIes LIe smuIIesL doubL. MonsIgnor HInLerpIorLner und ¡ ure cerLuInIy no Ionger uIone In
LIe LrembIIng - und uL LIe sume LIme, God IeIp us, secreLIy susLuInIng - reuIIzuLIon. TIuL IL
remuIns sIrouded In sIIence Is uncunny enougI. ¡L Is uIreudy uncunny wIen umong u greuL IosL
oI LIe bIInd some Iew wIo Iuve LIe use oI LIeIr eyes musL IIve wILI seuIed IIps. BuL IL becomes
sIeer Iorror, so IL seems Lo me, wIen everybody knows und everybody Is bound Lo sIIence, wIIIe
we reud LIe LruLI Irom eucI oLIer In eyes LIuL sLure or eIse sIun u meeLIng.
¡ Iuve sougIL IuILIIuIIy, Irom duy Lo duy, Lo be jusLIIIed oI my bIogrupIIcuI Lusk. ¡n u
permunenL sLuLe oI excILemenL ¡ Iuve LrIed Lo gIve worLIy sIupe Lo LIe personuI und InLImuLe;
und ¡ Iuve IeL go by wIuL Ius gone by In LIe ouLer worId durIng LIe LIme In wIIcI ¡ wrILe. TIe
InvusIon oI ¡runce, Iong recognIzed us u possIbIIILy, Ius come, u LecInIcuI und mIIILury IeuL oI LIe
IIrsL, or ruLIer oI un uILogeLIer unIque order, prepured wILI LIe IuIIesL deIIberuLIon, In wIIcI we
couId LIe Iess prevenL LIe enemy sInce we dId noL dure concenLruLe our deIence uL LIe sIngIe
poInL oI IundIng, beIng uncerLuIn wIeLIer or noL Lo regurd IL us one umong muny IurLIer uLLucks
uL poInLs we couId noL guess. VuIn und IuLuI boLI were our IesILuLIons. TIIs wus LIe one. And
soon Lroops, Lunks, weupons, und every sorL oI equIpmenL were brougIL on sIore, more LIun we
couId LIrow buck InLo LIe seu. TIe porL oI CIerbourg, we couId conIIdenLIy LrusL, Iud been puL
ouL oI commIssIon by LIe skIII oI Germun engIneers; buL IL surrendered uILer u IeroIc rudIogrum
Lo LIe ¡üIrer Irom LIe CommundunL us weII us LIe AdmIruI. And Ior duys now u buLLIe Ius been
rugIng Ior LIe Normun cILy oI Cuen - u sLruggIe wIIcI probubIy, II our Ieurs see LruIy, Is uIreudy
LIe openIng oI LIe wuy Lo LIe ¡rencI cupILuI, LIuL PurIs Lo wIIcI In LIe New Order LIe roIe oI
Europeun ¡unu Purk und Iouse oI mIrLI wus ussIgned, und wIere now, scurceIy IeId In cIeck by
LIe combIned sLrengLI oI LIe Germun und ¡rencI poIIce, resIsLunce Is boIdIy ruIsIng ILs Ieud.
Yes, Iow mucI Ius Iuppened LIuL Iud ILs eIIecL on my own soIILury ucLIvILIes, wIIIe yeL ¡
reIused Lo Iook wILIouL-doors! ¡L wus noL muny duys uILer LIe umuzIng IundIng In Normundy LIuL
our new reprIsuI weupon, uIreudy muny LImes menLIoned wILI IeurLIeIL joy by our ¡üIrer,
uppeured on LIe scene oI LIe wesLern LIeuLre oI wur: LIe roboL bomb, u mosL udmIrubIe meuns oI
oIIence, wIIcI onIy sucred necessILy couId InspIre In LIe mInd oI InvenLIve genIus; LIese IIyIng
messengers oI desLrucLIon, senL oII In numbers wILIouL u crew Irom LIe ¡rencI cousL, wIIcI
expIode over souLIern EngIund und, unIess uII sIgns IuII, Iuve become u reuI cuIumILy Lo LIe Ioe.
Are LIey cupubIe oI uverLIng ucLuuI cuLusLropIe Irom us? ¡uLe dId noL wIII LIuL LIe InsLuIIuLIons
sIouId be reudy In LIme Lo prevenL or dIsLurb LIe InvusIon. MeunLIme we reud LIuL PerugIu Is
Luken. ¡L IIes, LIougI we do noL suy so, beLween Rome und ¡Iorence. We uIreudy Ieur wIIspers oI
u sLruLegIc pIun Lo ubundon LIe wIoIe penInsuIu, perIups Lo Iree more Lroops Ior LIe IuILerIng
deIence In LIe eusL, wIILIer our soIdIers wunL uL no prIce uL uII Lo be senL. A RussIun wuve Is
roIIIng up; IL Ius Luken VILebsk und now LIreuLens MInsk, LIe cupILuI oI WIILe RussIu, uILer
wIose IuII, so our wIIsperIng news servIce LeIIs us, LIere wIII be no Ionger uny sLoppIng LIem In
LIe eusL eILIer.
No sLoppIng LIem! My souI, LIInk noL on IL! Do noL venLure Lo meusure wIuL IL wouId meun II
In LIIs our unIqueIy IrIgILIuI exLremILy LIe dum sIouId breuk, us IL Is on LIe poInL oI doIng, und
LIere were no more IoId uguInsL LIe boundIess IuLred LIuL we Iuve Iunned Lo IIume umong LIe
peopIes round us! True, by LIe desLrucLIon oI our cILIes Irom LIe uIr, Germuny Ius Iong sInce be-
come u LIeuLre oI wur; buL IL sLIII remuIns Ior IL Lo become so In LIe mosL ucLuuI sense, u sense
LIuL we cunnoL und muy noL conceIve. Our propugundu even Ius u sLrunge wuy oI wurnIng LIe Ioe
uguInsL LIe woundIng oI our soII, LIe sucred Germun soII, us uguInsL u IorrIbIe crIme... TIe
sucred Germun soII! As LIougI LIere were unyLIIng sLIII sucred ubouL IL, us LIougI IL were noL
Iong sInce deconsecruLe over und over uguIn, LIrougI uncounLed crImes uguInsL Iuw und jusLIce
und boLI moruIIy und de jccto IuId open Lo judgmenL und enIorcemenL! ¡eL IL come! NoLIIng
more remuIns Lo Iope, Lo wIsI, Lo wIII. TIe cry Ior peuce wILI LIe AngIo-Suxon, LIe oIIer Lo
conLInue uIone LIe wur uguInsL LIe SurmuLIc IIood, LIe demund LIuL some purL oI LIe condILIon oI
uncondILIonuI surrender be remILLed, In oLIer words LIuL LIey LreuL wILI us - buL wILI wIom?
AII LIuL Is noLIIng buL eye-wusI: LIe demund oI u regIme wIIcI wIII noL undersLund, even Loduy
seems noL Lo undersLund, LIuL ILs sLuII Is broken, LIuL IL musL dIsuppeur, Iuden wILI LIe curse oI
IuvIng mude ILseII, us, Germuny, LIe ReIcI, ¡ go IurLIer und suy uII LIuL Is Germun, InLoIerubIe Lo
LIe worId.
SucI uL LIe momenL Is LIe buckground oI my bIogrupIIcuI ucLIvILy. ¡L seemed Lo me ¡ owed u
skeLcI oI IL Lo LIe reuder. As Ior LIe buckground oI my ucLuuI nurruLIve, up Lo LIe poInL wIILIer ¡
Iuve brougIL IL, ¡ Iuve cIurucLerIzed IL uL LIe begInnIng oI LIIs cIupLer In LIe pIruse "InLo LIe
Iunds oI sLrungers." "¡L Is IrIgILIuI Lo IuII InLo LIe Iunds oI sLrungers": LIIs senLence und LIe bIL-
Ler LruLI oI IL ¡ LIougIL LIrougI und suIIered LIrougI, oILen, In LIose duys oI coIIupse und
surrender. ¡or us u Germun, despILe u unIversuIIsLIc sIudIng wIIcI my reIuLIon Lo LIe worId
Lukes on LIrougI my CuLIoIIc LrudILIon, ¡ cIerIsI u IIveIy IeeIIng Ior LIe nuLIonuI Lype, LIe
cIurucLerIsLIc IIIe-IdIom oI my counLry, so Lo speuk, ILs Ideu, LIe wuy IL usserLs ILseII us u IuceL oI
LIe Iumun, uguInsL oLIer no doubL equuIIy jusLIIIubIe vurIuLIons oI LIe sume, und cun so usserL
ILseII onIy by u cerLuIn ouLwurd munIIesLuLIon, susLuIned by u nuLIon sLundIng erecL on ILs IeeL.
TIe unexumpIed Iorror oI u decIsIve mIIILury deIeuL overwIeIms LIIs Ideu, pIysIcuIIy reIuLes IL,
by ImposIng un IdeoIogy IoreIgn Lo IL - und In LIe IIrsL InsLunce bound up wILI words, wILI LIe
wuy we express ourseIves. Hunded over uLLerIy InLo LIe power oI LIIs IoreIgn IdeoIogy, one IeeIs
wILI uII one's beIng LIuL jusL becuuse IL Is IoreIgn IL bodes no good. TIe beuLen ¡rencI LusLed LIIs
uwIuI experIence In 18;o, wIen LIeIr negoLIuLors, seekIng Lo soILen LIe condILIons oI LIe vIcLors,
prIced very IIgI LIe renown, "lc çloire," ensuIng Irom LIe enLry oI our Lroops InLo PurIs. BuL LIe
Germun sLuLesmen unswered LIem LIuL LIe word çloire or uny equIvuIenL Ior IL dId noL occur In
our vocubuIury. TIey LuIked ubouL IL In IusIed voIces, In LIe ¡rencI CIumber. AnxIousIy LIey
LrIed Lo compreIend wIuL IL meunL Lo surrender uL dIscreLIon Lo u Ioe wIose concepLIons dId noL
embruce LIe Ideu oI çloire.
OILen und oILen ¡ LIougIL oI IL, wIen LIe JucobIn-PurILun vIrLue jurgon, wIIcI Iour yeurs Iong
Iud dIspuLed LIe wur propugundu oI LIe "ugreed peuce," becume LIe currenL Iunguuge oI vIcLory.
¡ suw IL conIIrmed LIuL IL Is onIy u sLep Irom cupILuIuLIon Lo pure ubdIcuLIon und LIe suggesLIon Lo
LIe conqueror LIuL Ie wouId pIeuse Luke over LIe conducL oI LIe deIeuLed counLry uccordIng Lo
IIs own Ideus, sInce Ior ILs own purL IL dId noL know wIuL Lo do. SucI ImpuIses ¡runce knew,
IorLy-seven yeurs beIore, und LIey were noL sLrunge Lo us now. SLIII LIey ure rejecLed. TIe
deIeuLed musL conLInue someIow Lo be responsIbIe Ior LIemseIves; ouLsIde IeudIng-sLrIngs ure
LIere onIy Ior LIe purpose oI prevenLIng LIe RevoIuLIon wIIcI IIIIs LIe vucuum uILer LIe
depurLure oI LIe oId uuLIorILy Irom goIng Lo exLremes und endungerIng LIe bourgeoIs order oI
LIIngs Ior LIe vIcLors. TIus In 1q18 LIe conLInuuLIon oI LIe bIockude uILer we IuId down our urms
In LIe wesL served Lo conLroI LIe Germun RevoIuLIon, Lo keep IL on bourgeoIs-democruLIc ruIIs
und prevenL IL Irom degeneruLIng InLo LIe RussIun proIeLurIun. TIus bourgeoIs ImperIuIIsm,
crowned wILI LIe IuureIs oI vIcLory, couId noL do enougI Lo wurn uguInsL "unurcIy"; noL IIrmIy
enougI rejecL uII deuIIng wILI workmen's und soIdIers' councIIs und bodIes oI LIuL kInd, noL
cIeurIy enougI proLesL LIuL onIy wILI u seLLIed Germuny couId peuce be sIgned und onIy sucI
wouId geL enougI Lo euL. WIuL we Iud Ior u governmenL IoIIowed LIIs puLernuI Ieud, IeId wILI
LIe NuLIonuI AssembIy uguInsL LIe dIcLuLorsIIp oI LIe proIeLurIuL und meekIy wuved uwuy LIe
udvunces oI LIe SovIeLs, even wIen LIey concerned gruIn-deIIverIes. NoL Lo my enLIre
suLIsIucLIon, ¡ muy udd. As u moderuLe mun und son oI cuILure ¡ Iuve Indeed u nuLuruI Iorror oI
rudIcuI revoIuLIon und LIe dIcLuLorsIIp oI LIe Iower cIusses, wIIcI ¡ IInd IL Iurd, owIng Lo my
LrudILIon, Lo envIsuge oLIerwIse LIun In LIe Imuge oI unurcIy und mob ruIe - In sIorL, oI LIe
desLrucLIon oI cuILure. BuL wIen ¡ recuII LIe groLesque unecdoLe ubouL LIe Lwo suvIours oI
Europeun cIvIIIzuLIon, LIe Germun und LIe ¡LuIIun, boLI oI LIem In LIe puy oI IInunce cupILuI,
wuIkIng LogeLIer LIrougI LIe UIIIzI GuIIery In ¡Iorence, wIere LIey cerLuInIy dId noL beIong, und
one oI LIem suyIng Lo LIe oLIer LIuL uII LIese "gIorIous urL Lreusures" wouId Iuve been desLroyed
by BoIsIevIsm II Ieuven Iud noL prevenLed IL by ruIsIng LIem up - wIen ¡ recuII uII LIIs, LIen my
noLIons ubouL cIusses und musses Luke on unoLIer coIour, und LIe dIcLuLorsIIp oI LIe proIeLurIuL
begIns Lo seem Lo me, u Germun burgIer, un IdeuI sILuuLIon compured wILI LIe now possIbIe one
oI LIe dIcLuLorsIIp oI LIe scum oI LIe eurLI. BoIsIevIsm Lo my knowIedge Ius never desLroyed
uny works oI urL. TIuL wus Iur more wILIIn LIe spIere oI ucLIvILy oI LIose wIo usserL LIuL LIey ure
proLecLIng us Irom IL. TIere dId noL Iuck mucI Ior LIeIr zeuI In desLroyIng LIe LIIngs oI LIe spIrIL
- u zeuI LIuL Is enLIreIy IoreIgn Lo LIe musses - Lo Iuve mude sucrIIIce oI LIe works oI LIe Iero oI
LIese puges, AdrIun ¡everküIn. ¡or LIere Is no doubL LIuL LIeIr LrIumpI und LIe IIsLorIcuI
suncLIon Lo reguIuLe LIIs worId uccordIng Lo LIeIr beusLIy wIII wouId Iuve desLroyed IIs IIIe-work
und IIs ImmorLuIILy.
TwenLy-sIx yeurs ugo IL wus revuIsIon uguInsL LIe seII-rIgILeous bIundIsImenLs oI LIe
rIeLorIcuI burgIer und "son oI LIe revoIuLIon," wIIcI proved sLronger In my IeurL LIun LIe Ieur
oI dIsorder, und mude me wunL jusL wIuL Ie dId noL: LIuL my conquered counLry sIouId Lurn
Lowurds ILs broLIer In LrIbuIuLIon, Lowurds RussIu. ¡ wus reudy Lo puL up wILI LIe socIuI
revoIuLIon - yes, Lo ugree Lo IL - wIIcI wouId urIse Irom sucI comrudery. TIe RussIun
RevoIuLIon sIook me. TIere wus no doubL In my mInd oI LIe IIsLorIcuI superIorILy oI ILs
prIncIpIes over LIose oI LIe powers wIIcI seL LIeIr IooL on our necks.
SInce LIen IIsLory Ius LuugIL me Lo regurd wILI oLIer eyes our conquerors oI LIuL duy, wIo
wIII sIorLIy conquer us uguIn In uIIIunce wILI LIe revoIuLIon oI LIe EusL. ¡L Is Lrue LIuL cerLuIn
sLruLu oI bourgeoIs democrucy seemed und seem Loduy rIpe Ior wIuL ¡ Lermed LIe dIcLuLorsIIp oI
LIe scum: wIIIIng Lo muke common cuuse wILI IL Lo IInger ouL LIeIr prIvIIeges. SLIII, Ieuders Iuve
urIsen, wIo IIke myseII, wIo um u son oI IumunIsm, suw In LIIs dIcLuLorsIIp LIe uILImuLe LIuL
cun or muy be IuId upon IumunILy und moved LIeIr worId Lo u IIIe-und-deuLI sLruggIe uguInsL IL.
NoL enougI cun LIese men be LIunked, und IL sIows LIuL LIe democrucy oI LIe wesLern Iunds, In
uII LIe unucIronIsLIc sLuLe oI LIeIr InsLILuLIons LIrougI LIe pussuge oI LIme, uII LIe rIgIdILy oI LIeIr
concepLIons oI Ireedom In resIsLIng LIe new und InevILubIe, Is uILer uII essenLIuIIy In LIe IIne oI
Iumun progress, oI goodwIII Lo LIe ImprovemenL oI socIeLy und ILs renewuI, uILeruLIon,
rejuvenuLIon; IL sIows LIuL wesLern democrucy Is uILer uII cupubIe, by ILs own nuLure, oI u
LrunsILIon InLo condILIons more jusLIIIed oI IIIe.
AII LIIs by LIe wuy. WIuL ¡ wunL Lo recuII Iere In LIIs bIogrupIy Is LIe Ioss oI uuLIorILy oI LIe
monurcIIc mIIILury sLuLe, so Iong LIe Iorm und IubIL oI our IIIe; IL wus Iur udvunced us deIeuL
upproucIed und now wILI deIeuL IL Is compIeLe. ¡Ls coIIupse und ubdIcuLIon resuIL In u sILuuLIon oI
permunenL Iunger und wunL, progressIve deprecIuLIon oI LIe currency, progressIve IuxILy und
Ioose specuIuLIon, u cerLuIn regreLLubIe und uneurned dIspensIng oI cIvIIIun Ireedom Irom uII
resLruInL, LIe degeneruLIon oI u nuLIonuI sLrucLure so Iong IeId LogeLIer by dIscIpIIne InLo
debuLIng groups oI musLerIess cILIzens. SucI u very gruLIIyIng sIgIL LIuL Is noL, und no deducLIon
cun be mude Irom LIe word "puInIuI" wIen ¡ use IL Iere Lo cIurucLerIze LIe ImpressIons ¡ goL us u
pureIy pussIve observer Irom LIe guLIerIngs oI cerLuIn "CouncIIs oI ¡nLeIIecLuuI Workers" LIen
sprIngIng up In MunIcI IoLeIs. ¡I ¡ were u noveI-wrILer, ¡ couId muke ouL oI my LorLured
recoIIecLIons u mosL IIveIy pIcLure oI sucI u IuLIIe und IIugILIous ussembIuge. TIere wus u wrILer
oI beIIes-IeLLres, wIo spoke, noL wILIouL cIurm, even wILI u syburILIc und dImpIIng reIIsI, on LIe
LIeme oI "RevoIuLIon und ¡ove oI HumunILy," und unIoosed u Iree dIscussIon - uII Loo Iree,
dIIIuse, und conIused - by sucI mIsbegoLLen Lypes us onIy see LIe IIgIL uL momenLs IIke LIIs:
IunuLIcs, dreumers, cIowns, IIIbberLIgIbbeLs und IIy-by-nIgILs, pIoLLers und smuII-LIme pIIIoso-
pIers. TIere were speecIes Ior und uguInsL Iove oI Iumun kInd, Ior und uguInsL LIe uuLIorILIes,
Ior und uguInsL LIe peopIe. A IILLIe gIrI spoke u pIece, u common soIdIer wus wILI dIIIIcuILy
prevenLed Irom reudIng Lo LIe end u munuscrIpL LIuL begun "Deur cILIzens und cILIzenesses!" und
wouId doubLIess Iuve gone on LIe wIoIe nIgIL; un ungry sLudenL IuuncIed un embILLered
InvecLIve uguInsL uII LIe prevIous speukers, wILIouL voucIsuIIng Lo LIe ussembIuge u sIngIe
posILIve expressIon oI opInIon - und so on. TIe uudIence reveIIed In rude InLerrupLIons; IL wus
LurbuIenL, cIIIdIsI, und uncIvIIIzed, LIe IeudersIIp wus IncupubIe, LIe uIr IrIgILIuI, und LIe resuIL
Iess LIun noLIIng. ¡ kepL IookIng round und uskIng myseII wIeLIer ¡ wus LIe onIy suIIerer; und ¡
wus gruLeIuI uL IusL Lo be ouL oI doors, wIere LIe Lrum servIce Iud sLopped Iours beIore und LIe
sound oI some probubIy enLIreIy uImIess sIoLs ecIoed LIrougI LIe wInLer nIgIL.
¡everküIn, Lo wIom ¡ conveyed LIese ¡mpressIons oI mIne, wus unusuuIIy uIIIng uL LIIs LIme,
In u wuy LIuL Iud someLIIng IumIIIuLIng In ILs LormenLs. ¡L wus us LIougI Ie were pIncIed und
pIugued wILI IoL pIncers, wILIouL beIng In ImmedIuLe dunger oI IIs IIIe. TIuL, Iowever, seemed
Lo Iuve urrIved uL ILs nudIr, so LIuL Ie wus jusL proIongIng IL by druggIng on Irom one duy Lo LIe
nexL. He Iud been uLLucked by u sLomucI uIImenL, noL yIeIdIng Lo uny dIeLury meusures,
begInnIng wILI vIoIenL IeuducIe, IusLIng severuI duys und recurrIng In u Iew more; wILI Iours,
yes, wIoIe duys oI reLcIIng Irom un empLy sLomucI, sIeer mIsery, undIgnIIIed, nIggIIng,
IumIIIuLIng, endIng In uLLer exIuusLIon und persIsLenL sensILIvILy Lo IIgIL uILer LIe uLLuck Iud
pussed. TIere wus no LIougIL LIuL LIe condILIon mIgIL be due Lo psycIoIogIcuI cuuses, LIe
LrIbuIuLIons oI LIe LIme, LIe nuLIonuI deIeuL wILI ILs desoIuLIng consequences. ¡n IIs rusLIc, noL Lo
suy cIoIsLered reLreuL, Iur Irom LIe cILy, LIese LIIngs scurceIy LoucIed IIm, LIougI Ie wus kepL
posLed on LIem, noL LIrougI LIe newspupers, wIIcI Ie never reud, buL by IIs so sympuLIeLIc und
yeL so unruIIIed Iousekeeper, ¡ruu EIse ScIweIgesLIII. TIe evenLs, wIIcI cerLuInIy Ior u mun oI
InsIgIL were noL u sudden sIock buL LIe comIng Lo puss oI LIe Iong expecLed, couId produce In
IIm scurceIy u sIouIder-sIrug, und Ie Iound my eIIorLs Lo see In LIe evII LIe good wIIcI IL mIgIL
conceuI, Lo be In LIe sume veIn us LIe commenL wIIcI ¡ Iud mude uL LIe wur's begInnIng - und
LIuL mukes me LIInk oI LIuL coId, IncreduIous "God bIess your sLudIes!" wILI wIIcI Ie LIen un-
swered me.
And sLIII! ¡ILLIe us IL wus possIbIe Lo connecL IIs worsenIng IeuILI In uny LemperumenLuI wuy
wILI LIe nuLIonuI mIsIorLune, yeL my Lendency Lo see LIe one In LIe IIgIL oI LIe oLIer und IInd
symboIIc puruIIeIs In LIem, LIIs IncIInuLIon, wIIcI uILer uII mIgIL be due sImpIy Lo LIe IucL LIuL
LIey were IuppenIng uL LIe sume LIme, wus noL dImInIsIed by IIs remoLeness Irom ouLwurd
LIIngs, Iowever mucI ¡ mIgIL conceuI LIe LIougIL und reIruIn Irom brIngIng IL up even
IndIrecLIy.
AdrIun Iud noL usked Ior u pIysIcIun, becuuse Ie wunLed Lo InLerpreL IIs suIIerIngs us IumIIIur
und IeredILury, us mereIy un ucuLe InLensIIIcuLIon oI IIs IuLIer's mIgruIne. ¡L wus ¡ruu
ScIweIgesLIII wIo uL IusL InsIsLed on cuIIIng In Dr. KurbIs, LIe WuIdsIuL dIsLrIcL pIysIcIun, LIe
sume wIo Iud once deIIvered LIe ¡ruuIeIn Irom BuyreuLI. TIe good mun wouId noL Ieur oI
mIgruIne, sInce LIe oILen excessIve puIns were noL one-sIded us Is LIe cuse wILI mIgruIne buL
consIsLed In u rugIng LormenL In und ubove boLI eyes, und moreover were consIdered by LIe
pIysIcIun Lo be u secondury sympLom. HIs dIugnosIs, sLuLed wILI uII reserve, wus oI someLIIng
IIke u sLomucI uIcer, und wIIIe Ie prepured LIe puLIenL Ior u possIbIe IuemorrIuge, wIIcI dId
noL occur, Ie prescrIbed u soIuLIon oI nILruLe oI sIIver Lo be Luken InLernuIIy. WIen LIIs dId noL
unswer Ie wenL over Lo sLrong doses oI quInIne, LwIce duIIy, und LIuL dId In IucL gIve Lemporury
reIIeI. BuL uL InLervuIs oI Lwo weeks, und LIen Ior Lwo wIoIe duys, LIe uLLucks, very IIke vIoIenL
seusIckness, cume buck; und KurbIs's dIugnosIs begun Lo wuver or ruLIer Ie seLLIed on u dIIIerenL
one: Ie decIded LIuL my IrIend's suIIerIngs were deIInILeIy Lo be uscrIbed Lo u cIronIc cuLurrI oI
LIe sLomucI wILI consIderubIe dIIuLuLIon on LIe rIgIL sIde, LogeLIer wILI cIrcuIuLory sLoppuges
wIIcI decreused LIe IIow oI bIood Lo LIe bruIn. He now prescrIbed KurIsbud eIIervescenL suILs
und u dIeL oI LIe smuIIesL possIbIe voIume, so LIuL LIe Iure consIsLed oI uImosL noLIIng buL Lender
meuL. He proIIbILed IIquIds, soup und vegeLubIes, IIour und breud. TIIs LreuLmenL wus dIrecLed
Lowurds LIe desperuLeIy vIoIenL ucIdILy Irom wIIcI LIe puLIenL suIIered, und wIIcI KurbIs wus
IncIIned Lo uscrIbe uL IeusL In purL Lo nervous cuuses - LIuL Is, Lo u cenLruI InIIuence, LIe bruIn,
wIIcI Iere Ior LIe IIrsL LIme begun Lo pIuy u roIe In IIs dIugnosLIc specuIuLIons. More und more,
uILer LIe dIIuLuLIon oI LIe sLomucI Iud been cured wILIouL dImInIsIIng LIe IeuducIes und
nuuseu, Ie sIIILed IIs expIunuLIon oI LIe sympLoms Lo LIe bruIn, conIIrmed LIereIn by LIe
empIuLIc demund oI LIe puLIenL Lo be spured LIe IIgIL. Even wIen Ie wus ouL oI bed Ie spenL
enLIre IuII-duys In u denseIy durk room. One sunny mornIng Iud been enougI Lo IuLIgue IIs
nerves so mucI LIuL Ie LIIrsLed uILer durkness und enjoyed IL IIke u beneIIcenL eIemenL. ¡ myseII
Iuve spenL muny Iours oI LIe duy LuIkIng wILI IIm In LIe AbboL's room, wIere IL wus so durk LIuL
onIy uILer LIe eyes goL used Lo IL couId one see LIe ouLIInes oI LIe IurnILure und u puIIId gIeum
upon LIe wuIIs.
AbouL LIIs LIme Ice-cups und mornIng coId sIowers Ior LIe Ieud were prescrIbed, und LIey dId
beLLer LIun LIe oLIer meuns, LIougI onIy us puIIIuLIves, wIose umeIIoruLIng eIIecLs dId noL jusLIIy
one In speukIng oI u cure. TIe unnuLuruI condILIon wus noL removed, LIe uLLucks recurred
InLermILLenLIy, und LIe uIIIIcLed one decIured Ie couId sLund LIem II IL were noL Ior LIe
permunenL und consLunL puIn In LIe Ieud, ubove LIe eyes, und LIuL IndescrIbubIe, puruIysIs-IIke
IeeIIng uII over Irom LIe Lop oI LIe Ieud Lo LIe LIps oI LIe Loes, wIIcI seemed Lo uIIecL LIe orguns
oI speecI us weII. TIe suIIerer's words drugged, perIups unconscIousIy, und Ie moved IIs IIps so
IdIy LIuL wIuL Ie suId wus budIy urLIcuIuLed. ¡ LIInk IL wus ruLIer LIuL Ie dId noL cure, Ior IL dId
noL prevenL IIm Irom LuIkIng; und ¡ someLImes even goL LIe ImpressIon LIuL Ie expIoILed LIe
ImpedImenL und Look pIeusure In suyIng LIIngs In u noL quILe urLIcuIuLe wuy, onIy IuII meunL Lo
be undersLood, speukIng us LIougI ouL oI u dreum, Ior wIIcI Ie Iound LIIs kInd oI com-
munIcuLIon suILubIe. He LuIked Lo me ubouL LIe IILLIe seu-muId In Andersen's IuIry-LuIe, wIIcI Ie
uncommonIy Ioved und udmIred; noL IeusL LIe reuIIy cupILuI pIcLure oI LIe IorrId kIngdom oI LIe
seu-wILcI, beIInd LIe rugIng wIIrIpooIs, In LIe wood oI poIyps, wIILIer LIe yeurnIng cIIId
venLured In order Lo guIn Iumun Iegs InsLeud oI Ier IIsI's LuII; und LIrougI LIe Iove oI LIe durk-
eyed prInce (wIIIe sIe IerseII Iud eyes "bIue us LIe depLIs oI seu") perIups Lo wIn, IIke Iumun
beIngs, un ImmorLuI souI. He pIuyed wILI LIe compurIson beLween LIe knIIe-sIurp puIns wIIcI
LIe beuuLIIuI dumb one Iound IerseII reudy Lo beur every sLep sIe Look on Ier IoveIy new wIILe
pIns und wIuL Ie IImseII Iud ceuseIessIy Lo endure. He cuIIed Ier IIs sIsLer In uIIIIcLIon und
mude InLImuLe, Iumorous, und objecLIve commenLs on Ier beIuvIour, Ier wIIIuIness, und Ier
senLImenLuI InIuLuuLIon Ior LIe Lwo-Iegged worId oI men.
"¡L begIns," Ie suId, "wILI LIe cuIL oI LIe murbIe sLuLue LIuL Iud goL down Lo LIe boLLom oI LIe
seu, LIe boy, wIo Is obvIousIy by TIorwuIdsen, und Ier IIIegILImuLe LusLe Ior IL. Her grundmoLIer
sIouId Iuve Luken LIe LIIng uwuy Irom Ier InsLeud oI IeLLIng Ier pIunL u rose-red mournIng
wreuLI In LIe bIue sund. TIey Iud IeL Ier go LIrougI Loo mucI, Loo eurIy, uILer LIuL LIe yeurnIng
und LIe IysLerIcuI overesLImuLIon oI LIe upper worId und LIe ImmorLuI souI cunnoL be conLroIIed.
An ImmorLuI souI - buL wIy? A perIecLIy ubsurd wIsI; IL Is mucI more sooLIIng Lo know LIuL
uILer deuLI one wIII be LIe Ioum on LIe seu, us NuLure wIIIs. A proper nIxIe wouId Iuve Luken LIIs
empLy-Ieuded prInce, wIo dId noL know Iow Lo vuIue Ier und wIo murrIed someone eIse beIore
Ier Iuce und eyes, Ied IIm Lo LIe murbIe sLeps oI IIs puIuce, druwn IIm InLo LIe wuLer, und
LenderIy drowned IIm InsLeud oI mukIng Ier IuLe depend us sIe dId on IIs sLupIdILy. ProbubIy Ie
wouId Iuve Ioved Ier mucI more pussIonuLeIy wILI LIe IIsI-LuII sIe wus born wILI LIun wILI
LIose exLremeIy puInIuI Iegs... "
And wILI un objecLIvILy LIuL couId onIy be In jesL, buL wILI druwn brows und reIucLunLIy
movIng, IuII-urLIcuIuLIng IIps, Ie spoke oI LIe uesLIeLIc udvunLuges oI LIe nIxIe's sIupe over LIuL
oI LIe Iorked Iumun kInd, oI LIe cIurm oI LIe IInes wILI wIIcI LIe IemInIne Iorm IIowed Irom
LIe IIps InLo LIe smooLI-scuIed, sLrong, und suppIe IIsI-LuII, so weII udupLed Ior sLeerIng und
durLIng. He rejecLed uII Ideu oI u monsLrosILy, wIuLever uLLucIes In LIe popuIur mInd Lo
myLIoIogIcuI combInuLIons oI LIe Iumun und LIe unImuI; und decIured LIuL Ie dId noL IInd
udmIssIbIe myLIoIogIcuI IIcLIons oI LIuL kInd. TIe seu-wIIe Iud u perIecLIy compIeLe und
cIurmIng orgunIc reuIILy, beuuLy und InevILubIIILy; you suw LIuL uL once, wIen sIe becume so
puLIeLIcuIIy decIussee uILer sIe Iud bougIL IerseII Iegs, wIIcI nobody LIunked Ier Ior. Here we
unquesLIonubIy Iud u perIecLIy nuLuruI pIenomenon, nuLure IerseII wus guIILy oI IL, ij sIe wus
guIILy oI IL, wIIcI Ie dId noL beIIeve, In IucL Ie knew beLLer - und so on.
¡ sLIII Ieur IIm speukIng, or murmurIng, wILI u sInIsLer Iumour wIIcI ¡ unswered us IIgILIy;
wILI some mIsgIvIng us usuuI In my IeurL, uIong wILI sIIenL udmIruLIon Ior LIe wIImsIcuI reIIsI
Ie knew Iow Lo exLrucL Irom LIe pressure obvIousIy resLIng on IIm. ¡L wus LIIs LIuL mude me
ugree Lo IIs rejecLIng LIe proposuI wIIcI Dr. KurbIs uL LIuL LIme In duLy bound puL beIore IIm:
Ie recommended or usked consIderuLIon Ior u consuILuLIon wILI u IIgIer medIcuI uuLIorILy; buL
AdrIun uvoIded IL, wouId Iuve none oI IL. He Iud, Ie suId, In LIe IIrsL pIuce IuII conIIdence In
KIIrbIs; buL uIso Ie wus convInced LIuL Ie, more or Iess uIone, ouL oI IIs own nuLure und powers,
wouId Iuve Lo geL rId oI LIe evII. TIIs corresponded wILI my own IeeIIng. ¡ sIouId Iuve been
more IncIIned Lo u cIunge oI uIr, u sojourn uL u cure, wIIcI LIe docLor uIso suggesLed, wILIouL, us
we mIgIL Iuve expecLed, beIng ubIe Lo persuude LIe puLIenL. MucI Loo mucI wus Ie dependenL
on IIs eIecLed und IubILuuI Irume oI Iouse und courLyurd, cIurcI-Lower, pond, und IIII; Loo
mucI on IIs uncIenL sLudy, IIs veIveL cIuIr, Lo IeL IImseII In Ior excIungIng uII LIIs, even Ior Iour
weeks, Ior LIe ubomInuLIon oI u resorL exIsLence, wILI LubIe d'IoLe, promenude, und bund. Above
uII, Ie pIeuded Ior consIderuLIon Ior ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, wIom Ie wouId noL wIsI Lo oIIend by
preIerrIng some ouLsIde, pubIIc cure und servIce Lo Iers. He IeIL, Ie suId, Iur und uwuy beLLer
provIded Ior Iere, In Ier undersLundIng, IumunIy wIse und moLIerIy cure. ReuIIy one mIgIL usk
wIere eIse Ie couId Iuve wIuL Ie Iud Iere, wILI Ier wIo brougIL IIm uccordIng Lo LIe new
regImen every Iour Iours someLIIng Lo euL: uL eIgIL o'cIock un eçç, cocou, und rusk, uL LweIve u
IILLIe sLeuk or cuLIeL, uL Iour soup, meuL, und vegeLubIe, uL eIgIL o'cIock coId joInL und Leu. TIIs
dIeL wus beneIIcIuI. ¡L guurded uguInsL LIe Iever uLLendIng LIe dIgesLIon oI IeurLy meuIs.
TIe Nuckedey und KunIgunde RosensLIeI cume by Lurns Lo PIeIIIerIng. TIey brougIL IIowers,
preserves, peppermInL Iozenges, und wIuLever eIse LIe murkeL sIorLuges uIIowed. NoL uIwuys, In
IucL onIy seIdom were LIey udmILLed, wIIcI puL neILIer oI LIem oII. KunIgunde consoIed IerseII
wILI purLIcuIurIy weII-Lurned IeLLers In LIe puresL, mosL sLuLeIy Germun. TIIs consoIuLIon, Lrue,
LIe Nuckedey Iucked.
¡ wus uIwuys gIud Lo see RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, wILI IIs AdrIun-eyes, uL my IrIend's reLreuL. HIs
presence Iud u sooLIIng und cIeerIng eIIecL; wouId IL Iud oILener been voucIsuIed! BuL AdrIun's
IIIness wus jusL one oI LIose serIous cuses wIIcI uIwuys seemed Lo puruIyse RüdIger's
obIIgIngness; we know Iow LIe IeeIIng oI beIng urgenLIy desIred mude IIm jIb und reIuse. He dId
noL Iuck excuses, ¡ meun ruLIonuIIzuLIons oI LIIs odd psycIoIogIcuI LruIL: wrupped up In IIs
IILerury breud-wInnIng, LIIs conIounded LrunsIuLIon, Ie couId reuIIy scurceIy geL uwuy, und
besIdes, IIs own IeuILI wus suIIerIng under LIe bud Iood condILIons. He oILen Iud InLesLInuI
cuLurrI und wIen Ie uppeured In PIeIIIerIng - Ior Ie dId come now und uguIn - Ie wore u
IIunneI body-beIL, uIso u dump bunduge In u guLLu-percIu sIeuLI, u source oI bILLer wIL und
AngIo-Suxon jokes Ior IIm und LIus u dIversIon Ior AdrIun, wIo couId ruIse IImseII wILI no one
so weII us wILI RüdIger ubove LIe LormenLs oI LIe body InLo LIe Iree uIr oI jesL und IuugILer.
¡ruu SenuLor Rodde cume Loo, oI course, Irom LIme Lo LIme, crossIng LIe roud Irom Ier over-
IurnIsIed reLreuL Lo InquIre oI ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII ubouL AdrIun's IeuILI II sIe couId noL see IIm
IerseII. ¡I Ie couId receIve Ier, or II LIey meL ouL oI doors, sIe LoId IIm ubouL Ier duugILers, und
wIen sIe smIIed kepL Ier IIps cIosed over u gup In Ier IronL LeeLI, Ior Iere Loo, In uddILIon Lo LIe
IuIr, LIere were Iosses wIIcI mude Ier sIun socIeLy. CIurIssu, sIe suId, Ioved Ier proIessIon und
dId noL IuILer In pursuIL oI IL, despILe u cerLuIn coIdness on LIe purL oI LIe pubIIc, curpIng crILIcs,
und LIe ImperLInenL crueILy oI LIIs or LIuL producer wIo LrIed Lo dIsLrucL Ier by cuIIIng "Tempo,
Lempo!" Irom LIe wIngs wIen sIe wus ubouL Lo enjoy u soIo scene. TIe IIrsL engugemenL In CeIIe
Iud come Lo un end und LIe nexL one Iud noL currIed Ier mucI IurLIer: sIe wus pIuyIng LIe
juvenIIe Ieud In remoLe EusL PrussIun EIbIng. BuL sIe Iud prospecLs oI un engugemenL In LIe
wesL, In PIorzIeIm, wIence IL wus buL u sLep Lo LIe sLuge oI KurIsruIe or SLuLLgurL. TIe muIn
LIIng, In LIIs proIessIon, wus noL Lo geL sLuck In LIe provInces, buL Lo be uLLucIed beLImes Lo un
ImporLunL sLuLe LIeuLre or u prIvuLe one In u meLropoIIs. CIurIssu Ioped Lo succeed. BuL Irom Ier
IeLLers, uL IeusL LIose Lo Ier sIsLer, IL uppeured LIuL Ier success wus oI u more personuI, LIuL Is
eroLIc, kInd ruLIer LIun un urLIsLIc one. Muny were LIe snures Lo wIIcI sIe suw IerseII exposed;
repuIsIng LIem Look mucI oI Ier energy und mockIng cooIness. To ¡nez, LIougI noL Lo Ier
moLIer dIrecLIy, sIe unnounced LIuL u rIcI wureIouse-owner, u weII-preserved mun wILI u wIILe
beurd, wunLed Lo muke Ier IIs mIsLress und seL Ier up exLruvugunLIy wILI un upurLmenL, u cur,
und cIoLIes - wIen sIe couId sIIence LIe regIsseur's ImpudenL "Tempo!" und muke LIe crILIcs
IuII In IIne. BuL sIe wus mucI Loo proud Lo esLubIIsI Ier IIIe on sucI IounduLIons. ¡L wus Ier
personuIILy, noL Ier person, LIuL wus ImporLunL Lo Ier. TIe rIcI mun wus Lurned down und
CIurIssu wenL on IIgILIng Ier wuy In EIbIng.
AbouL Ier duugILer ¡nsLILorIs In MunIcI ¡ruu Rodde LuIked In Iess deLuII: Ier IIIe wus noL so
IIveIy or evenLIuI, more normuI und secure - regurded superIIcIuIIy, und ¡ruu Rodde obvIousIy
wunLed Lo regurd IL LIus. ¡ meun sIe represenLed ¡nez's murrIuge us Iuppy, wIIcI wus cerLuInIy u
Iurge order oI senLImenLuI superIIcIuIILy. TIe LwIns Iud jusL been born, und LIe ¡ruu SenuLor
spoke wILI sImpIe IeeIIng oI LIe evenL, oI LIe LIree spoIIL IILLIe durIIngs, wIom sIe vIsILed Irom
LIme Lo LIme In LIeIr IdeuI nursery. ExpressIy und wILI prIde sIe pruIsed Ier oIder duugILer Ior
LIe unbendIng wIIIpower wILI wIIcI sIe kepL Ier IousekeepIng up Lo LIe murk despILe uII
conLrury cIrcumsLunces. You couId noL LeII wIeLIer LIe ¡ruu SenuLor reuIIy dId noL know wIuL
LIe bIrds on LIe Iouse-Lops LuIked ubouL, LIe ScIwerdLIeger uIIuIr, or wIeLIer sIe onIy
preLended. AdrIun, us LIe reuder knows, knew oI IL Irom me. BuL one duy Ie receIved RudoII's
conIessIon - u sInguIur busIness Indeed.
TIe vIoIInIsL wus mosL sympuLIeLIc durIng LIe ucuLe IIIness oI our IrIend, IoyuI und uLLucIed;
yes, IL seemed us LIougI Ie wunLed Lo use LIe occusIon Lo sIow Iow mucI sLore Ie seL by
AdrIun's Iuvour und good wIII. ¡L wus even my ImpressIon LIuL Ie beIIeved Ie couId use LIe
suIIerer's reduced und us Ie probubIy LIougIL more or Iess IeIpIess sLuLe Lo exerL IIs quILe
ImperLurbubIe IngruLIuLIngness, enIorced by uII IIs personuI cIurm, Lo conquer u cooIness,
dryness, und IronIc wILIdruwuI wIIcI unnoyed IIm, on grounds more or Iess serIous, or IurL
IIm, or wounded IIs vunILy, or possIbIy some genuIne IeeIIng on IIs purL - God knows wIuL IL
wus. ¡n speukIng oI RudoII's InconsLunL nuLure - us one Ius Lo speuk oI IL - one runs u rIsk oI
suyIng Loo mucI. BuL uIso one sIouId noL suy Loo IILLIe, und Ior my purL LIIs nuLure und ILs munI-
IesLuLIons uppeured Lo me uIwuys In LIe IIgIL oI un ubsoIuLeIy nuIve, cIIIdIsI, yes, puckIsI
possessIon, wIose reIIecLIon ¡ someLImes suw IuugIIng ouL oI IIs so very preLLy bIue eyes.
SuIIIce IL Lo suy LIuL ScIwerdLIeger zeuIousIy concerned IImseII wILI AdrIun's condILIon. He
oILen rung up Lo InquIre oI ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII und oIIered Lo come ouL wIenever u vIsIL mIgIL be
LoIerubIe or weIcome. Soon uILerwurds, on u duy wIen LIere wus un ImprovemenL, Ie wouId
uppeur; Ie dIspIuyed LIe mosL wInnIng deIIgIL uL LIe reunIon, und LwIce uL LIe begInnIng
uddressed AdrIun wILI du, onIy LIe LIIrd LIme, us AdrIun dId noL respond, Lo correcL IImseII und
be suLIsIIed wILI LIe IIrsL nume und Sie. As u sorL oI consoIuLIon und by wuy oI experImenL AdrIun
someLImes cuIIed IIm RudoII, LIougI never RudI, us everybody eIse dId, und Ie dropped LIIs Loo
uILer u wIIIe. However, Ie congruLuIuLed LIe vIoIInIsL on LIe greuL success Ie Iud recenLIy Iud In
u Nuremberg concerL, und purLIcuIurIy wILI IIs pIuyIng oI BucI's PurLILu In E mujor Ior vIoIIn
uIone, wIIcI Iud receIved LIe IIveIIesL commenduLIon Irom pubIIc und press. TIe resuIL wus IIs
uppeurunce us soIoIsL uL one oI LIe MunIcI Acudemy concerLs In LIe Odeon, wIere IIs cIeun,
sweeL, LecInIcuIIy perIecL InLerpreLuLIon oI TurLInI pIeused everybody exLruordInurIIy. TIey puL
up wILI IIs "smuII Lone." He Iud musIcuI und uIso personuI compensuLIons Lo muke up Ior IL. HIs
rIse Lo LIe posILIon oI Ieuder In LIe ZupIensLosser orcIesLru - LIe Iormer IoIder IuvIng reLIred Lo
devoLe IImseII Lo LeucIIng - wus by LIIs LIme u seLLIed LIIng, despILe IIs youLI, und Ie Iooked
consIderubIy younger LIun Ie wus, yes, remurkubIy enougI, younger LIun wIen ¡ IIrsL meL IIm.
BuL wILI uII LIIs, RudI uppeured depressed by cerLuIn cIrcumsLunces oI IIs prIvuLe IIIe; In sIorL
by IIs IIuIson wILI ¡nez ¡nsLILorIs, ubouL wIIcI Ie reIIeved IImseII In prIvuLe Lo AdrIun. "¡n
prIvuLe" Is even un undersLuLemenL, Ior LIe conversuLIon Look pIuce In u durkened room, eucI
beIng uwure oI LIe oLIer's presence onIy us u sIudowy ouLIIne; und LIuL wus, no doubL, un
encourugemenL und eusemenL Lo ScIwerdLIeger In IIs conIIdences. TIe duy wus un uncommonIy
brIIIIunL one In Junuury 1q1q, wILI sunsIIne, bIue sky, und gIILLerIng snow, und AdrIun, soon
uILer RudoII uppeured und LIe IIrsL greeLIngs Look pIuce, ouL oI doors, wus seIzed wILI sucI
severe Ieud puIns LIuL Ie usked IIs guesL Lo sIure wILI IIm uL IeusL Ior u wIIIe LIe weII-LrIed
remedy oI durkness. TIey Iud excIunged LIe NIke suIon, wIere LIey Iud suL uL IIrsL, Ior LIe
AbboL's room, sIuLLIng ouL LIe IIgIL wILI bIInds und IungIngs, so LIuL IL wus us ¡ Iud known IL: uL
IIrsL compIeLe nIgIL Lo LIe eyes, LIen LIey Ieurned Lo dIsLInguIsI more or Iess LIe posILIon oI LIe
IurnILure und perceIved LIe weukIy LrIckIIng sIImmer oI LIe ouLer IIgIL, u puIIId gIeum on LIe
wuIIs. AdrIun, In IIs veIveL cIuIr, excused IImseII muny LImes InLo LIe durkness on uccounL oI LIe
InconvenIence, buL ScIwerdLIeger, wIo Iud Luken LIe SuvonuroIu cIuIr uL LIe wrILIng-LubIe, wus
enLIreIy suLIsIIed. ¡I IL dId LIe oLIer good - und Ie couId weII undersLund Iow IL wouId do so -
LIen Ie preIerred IL LIuL wuy Loo. TIey LuIked wILI Iowered voIces, purLIy on uccounL oI AdrIun's
condILIon, purLIy becuuse one Lends Lo Iower one's voIce In LIe durk. ¡L even produces u cerLuIn
IncIInuLIon Lo sIIence, Lo LIe exLIncLIon oI speecI; buL ScIwerdLIeger's Dresden upbrIngIng dId
noL LoIeruLe uny puuses. He cIuLLed uwuy over LIe bud puLcIes, In deIIunce oI LIe uncerLuInLy one
Is In under sucI condILIons ubouL LIe oLIer purLy's reucLIons. TIey skImmed over LIe desperuLe
poIILIcuI sILuuLIon, LIe IIgILs In LIe cupILuI, cume Lo speuk oI LIe IuLesL In LIe musIcuI worId, und
RudoII, In LIe puresL Lone, wIIsLIed someLIIng Irom ¡uIIu's Niçhts in the Gcrdens oj Spcin und
Debussy's SonuLu Ior IIuLe, vIoIu, und Iurp. ¡Ie wIIsLIed LIe bourree Irom Lote's Lcbour's Lost
Loo, precIseIy In LIe rIgIL pILcI, und LIen LIe comIc LIeme oI LIe weepIng IILLIe dog Irom LIe
puppeL pIuy Dj the Godless Guile, wILIouL beIng ubIe Lo judge wIeLIer AdrIun cured Ior IL or noL.
AL IengLI Ie sIgIed und suId Ie dId noL IeeI IIke wIIsLIIng, buL on LIe conLrury wus Ieuvy-
IeurLed, or perIups noL LIuL so mucI us ungry, vexed, ImpuLIenL, uIso worrIed und noL knowIng
wIuL Lo do, und so, uILer uII, Ieuvy-IeurLed. WIy? To unswer LIuL wus noL so eusy und noL even
permIssIbIe, or uL mosL umong IrIends, wIere you were noL obIIged Lo be so cureIuI ubouL LIIs
mun-oI-Ionour uLLILude LIuL you musL keep your uIIuIrs wILI women Lo yourseII. He wus
uccusLomed Lo observe IL, Ie wus no cIuLLerbox. BuL Ie wus noL mereIy u mun oI Ionour eILIer,
peopIe mIsLook IIm wIen LIey LIougIL so, u sIuIIow umoroso und mun oI pIeusure: LIuL wus
IouLIsome. He wus u mun und un urLIsL; Ie Iud no use Ior LIIs mun-oI-Ionour uLLILude; und
cerLuInIy AdrIun knew, Ior everybody dId, wIuL Ie meunL. ¡n sIorL, IL wus ubouL ¡nez Rodde, or
ruLIer ¡nsLILorIs, und IIs reIuLIons wILI Ier, wIIcI Ie couId noL IeIp. "¡ cun'L IeIp IL, AdrIun,
beIIeve me! ¡ never seduced Ier, buL sIe me, und LIe Iorns oI IILLIe ¡nsLILorIs, Lo use LIuL sIIIy
expressIon, ure uILogeLIer Ier work, noL mIne. WIuL do you do wIen u womun cIIngs Lo you IIke u
drownIng person und sImpIy wIII Iuve you Ior Ier Iover? Do you Ieuve your gurmenL In Ier Iunds
und IIee? No, peopIe do noL do LIuL now, LIere ure oLIer mun-oI-Ionour ruIes, you ure noL Lo suy
no, especIuIIy II LIe womun Is preLLy, LIougI In ruLIer u IuLuI und suIIerIng wuy." BuL Ie wus IuLuI
und suIIerIng Loo, u nervous und oILen uIIIIcLed urLIsL, Ie wusn'L u young IIgIL-Ieud or sonny-boy,
wIuLever peopIe LIougIL. ¡nez ImugIned uII sorLs oI LIIngs ubouL IIm, quILe IuIseIy, und LIuL
resuILed In u crooked sorL oI reIuLIonsIIp, us LIougI sucI u reIuLIon In und Ior ILseII were noL
crooked enougI, wILI LIe sIIIy sILuuLIons IL wus uIwuys brIngIng ubouL und LIe need Ior cuuLIon
every mInuLe. ¡nez goL round uII LIuL beLLer LIun Ie dId, Ior LIe sImpIe reuson LIuL sIe wus so
pussIonuLeIy In Iove; Ie couId suy LIuL becuuse sIe wus so on LIe busIs oI Ier IuIse ImugInIngs. He
wus uL u dIsudvunLuge becuuse Ie wus noL In Iove: "¡ never Iuve Ioved Ier, ¡ udmIL IL openIy, ¡
uIwuys jusL Iud IrIendIy und broLIerIy IeeIIngs Ior Ier, und LIuL ¡ IeL myseII In wILI Ier IIke LIIs
und LIe sLupId LIIng drugs on becuuse sIe cIIngs Lo IL, LIuL Is jusL u muLLer oI duLy und decency on
my sIde." BuL Ie musL In conIIdence suy LIIs: LIuL IL wus uwkwurd, yes, degrudIng, wIen LIe
pussIon, u reuIIy desperuLe pussIon, wus on LIe womun's sIde wIIIe LIe mun wus jusL doIng IIs
knIgILIy duLy. ¡L reversed LIe possessIve reIuLIon someIow und Ied Lo un uncomIorLubIe
preponderunce on LIe purL oI LIe womun so LIuL Ie musL suy LIuL ¡nez beIuved wILI IIs person
und IIs body us ucLuuIIy und rIgILIy u mun beIuves wILI u womun, udded Lo wIIcI Ier morbId
und IeverIsI jeuIousy, quILe unjusLIIIed unyIow, Iud Lo do wILI LIe undIvIded possessIon oI IIs
person; unjusLIIIed, us Ie suId, Ior Ie Iud enougI wILI Ier, In IucL enougI oj Ier und Ier
cIIngIng, und IIs InvIsIbIe uudILor couId scurceIy conceIve wIuL u reIresImenL Ior IIm, under
LIese cIrcumsLunces, wus LIe socIeLy oI u mun so IIgIIy pIuced und by IIm very IIgIIy esLeemed,
LIe spIere oI sucI u one und conversuLIon wILI IIm. PeopIe mosLIy judged IIm IuIseIy; Ie mucI
preIerred IuvIng u serIous, eIevuLIng, und worLI-wIIIe LuIk wILI sucI u mun Lo goIng Lo bed wILI
women; yes, II Ie were Lo cIurucLerIze IImseII, Ie LIougIL, uILer deLuIIed seII-exumInuLIon, IL
wouId be us u pIuLonIc nuLure.
And suddenIy, us IL were In IIIusLruLIon oI wIuL Ie Iud jusL suId, RudI cume Lo speuk oI LIe
vIoIIn concerLo wIIcI Ie so greuLIy wIsIed Lo Iuve AdrIun wrILe Ior IIm, II possIbIe wILI uII rIgILs
oI perIormunce reserved. TIuL wus IIs dreum. "¡ need you, AdrIun, Ior my udvuncemenL, my
deveIopmenL, my purIIIcuLIon, In u wuy, Irom uII LIose oLIer uIIuIrs. On my word, LIuL Is LIe wuy
¡ IeeI, ¡'ve never been more In eurnesL ubouL unyLIIng, ubouL wIuL ¡ need. And LIe concerLo ¡
wunL Irom you, LIuL Is jusL LIe mosL concreLe, ¡ meun LIe mosL symboIIc expressIon Ior LIIs need.
And you wouId do IL wonderIuIIy, mucI beLLer LIun DeIIus or ProkoIIev - wILI un unIeurd-oI
sImpIe und sIngubIe IIrsL LIeme In LIe muIn movemenL LIuL comes In uguIn uILer LIe cudenzu.
TIuL Is uIwuys LIe besL momenL In LIe cIussIc vIoIIn concerLo, wIen uILer LIe soIo ucrobuLIcs LIe
IIrsL LIeme comes In uguIn. BuL you don'L need Lo do IL IIke LIuL, you don'L need Lo Iuve u cudenzu
uL uII, LIuL Is jusL u convenLIon. You cun LIrow LIem uII overbourd, even LIe urrungemenL oI LIe
movemenLs, IL doesn'L need Lo Iuve uny movemenLs, Ior my purL you cun Iuve LIe uIIegro moILo
In LIe mIddIe, u reuI 'DevII's LrIII,' und you cun juggIe wILI LIe rIyLIm, us onIy you cun do, und
LIe udugIo cun come uL LIe end, us LrunsIIguruLIon - IL couIdn'L be Loo unconvenLIonuI, und
unyIow ¡ wunL Lo puL LIuL down, LIuL IL wIII muke peopIe cry. ¡ wunL Lo geL IL InLo myseII so ¡
couId pIuy IL In my sIeep, und brood over IL und Iove every noLe IIke u moLIer, und you wouId be
LIe IuLIer - IL wouId be beLween us IIke u cIIId, u pIuLonIc cIIId - yes, our concerLo, LIuL wouId
be so exucLIy LIe IuIIIImenL oI everyLIIng LIuL ¡ undersLund by pIuLonIc."
TIus ScIwerdLIeger. ¡ Iuve In LIese puges spoken muny LImes In IIs Iuvour, und Loduy Loo,
wIen ¡ go over IL uII uguIn ¡ IeeI mIIdIy Lowurds IIm, Lo u consIderubIe exLenL LoucIed by IIs
LrugIc end. BuL LIe reuder wIII now undersLund beLLer cerLuIn expressIons wIIcI ¡ uppIIed Lo IIm,
LIuL "ImpIsI nuIveLe" or cIIIdIsI devIIry In IIs nuLure. ¡n AdrIun's pIuce - buL LIere Is reuIIy no
sense In puLLIng myseII In IIs pIuce; ¡ wouId noL Iuve LoIeruLed some oI LIe LIIngs RudI suId. ¡L
wus dIsLIncLIy un ubuse oI LIe durkness. NoL onIy LIuL Ie repeuLedIy wenL Loo Iur In IIs Irunkness
ubouL IIs reIuLIons wILI ¡nez - buL uIso Ie wenL Loo Iur In unoLIer dIrecLIon, cuIpubIy und
ImpIsIIy Loo Iur, beLruyed by LIe durkness, ¡ mIgIL suy, II LIe noLIon oI uny beLruyuI Is In pIuce
und one ougIL noL Lo speuk InsLeud oI un ImpudenL InLrusIon oI IumIIIurILy upon soIILude.
TIuL Is In IucL LIe rIgIL descrIpLIon oI RudI ScIwerdLIeger's reIuLIon Lo AdrIun ¡everküIn. TIe
pIun Look yeurs Lo curry ouL, und u cerLuIn sud success cunnoL be denIed Lo IL. ¡n LIe Iong run LIe
deIenceIessness oI soIILude uguInsL sucI u wooIng wus proved, cerLuInIy Lo LIe desLrucLIon oI LIe
wooer.

CHAPTIR XXXIV
NoL onIy wILI LIe IILLIe seu-muId's knIIeIIke puIns dId ¡everküIn uL LIe LIme oI IIs worsL sLuLe
oI IeuILI compure IIs own LormenLs. ¡n conversuLIon Ie Iud unoLIer puruIIeI, wIIcI Ie
vIsuuIIzed wILI remurkubIe cIurILy. ¡ cuIIed IL Lo mInd wIen some monLIs IuLer, In LIe sprIng oI
1q1q, LIe IIIness IIILed IIke u mIrucIe Irom oII IIm, und IIs spIrIL, pIoenIxIIke, rose Lo ILs IuIIesL
Ireedom und mosL umuzIng power, In un uncIecked, noL Lo suy unbrIdIed, unyIow un
unInLermILLed IIow oI uImosL breuLIIess producLIvILy. BuL jusL LIuL very LIIng beLruyed Lo me LIuL
LIe Lwo sLuLes, LIe depressIve und LIe exuILed, were noL InwurdIy sIurpIy dIsLInguIsIed Irom eucI
oLIer. TIey were noL sepuruLe und wILIouL uII connecLIon, Ior LIe presenL sLuLe Iud been
prepurIng In LIe Iormer one und Lo some exLenL Iud uIreudy been conLuIned In IL - jusL us
Indeed, on LIe oLIer Iund, LIe ouLbreuk oI LIe IeuILIy und creuLIve epocI wus by no meuns u
LIme oI enjoymenL, buL ruLIer In ILs own wuy one oI uIIIIcLIon, oI puInIuI urgency und
compuIsIon... An, ¡ wrILe budIy! My eugerness Lo suy everyLIIng uL once mukes my senLences run
over, IurrIes LIem uwuy Irom LIe LIougIL LIey begun by InLendIng Lo express, und mukes LIem
seem Lo rusI on und Iose IL Irom sIgIL. ¡ sIuII do weII Lo Luke LIe reprooI Irom LIe reuder's
mouLI. TIe wuy my Ideus LumbIe over LIemseIves und geL IosL Is u resuIL oI LIe excILemenL
generuLed by my memory oI LIIs LIme, LIe LIme uILer LIe coIIupse oI LIe uuLIorILurIun Germun
sLuLe, wILI ILs Iur-reucIIng uccompunyIng IuxILy, wIIcI uIIecLed me us weII, IuyIng sIege Lo my
seLLIed vIew oI LIe worId wILI new concepLIons Iurd Ior IL Lo dIgesL. ¡ IeIL LIuL un epocI wus
endIng, wIIcI Iud noL onIy IncIuded LIe nIneLeenLI cenLury, buL gone Iur buck Lo LIe end oI LIe
MIddIe Ages, Lo LIe IoosenIng oI scIoIusLIc LIes, LIe emuncIpuLIon oI LIe IndIvIduuI, LIe bIrLI oI
Ireedom. TIIs wus LIe epocI wIIcI ¡ Iud In very LruLI regurded us LIuL oI my more exLended
spIrILuuI Iome, In sIorL LIe epocI oI bourgeoIs IumunIsm. And ¡ IeIL us ¡ suy LIuL ILs Iour Iud
come; LIuL u muLuLIon oI IIIe wouId be consummuLed; LIe worId wouId enLer InLo u new, sLIII
numeIess consLeIIuLIon. And moreover LIIs IeeIIng oI mIne, rIveLIng my uLLenLIon, wus u producL
noL onIy oI LIe end oI LIe wur buL uIreudy LIe producL oI ILs begInnIng, IourLeen yeurs uILer LIe
Lurn oI LIe cenLury. ¡L Iud IuIn uL LIe boLLom oI LIe punIc, LIe uwIuI sense oI desLIny wIIcI
peopIe IIke me IeIL uL LIuL LIme. No wonder LIe dIsInLegruLIon oI deIeuL Increused LIIs IeeIIng Lo
ILs IIgIesL pILcI, no wonder eILIer LIuL In u deIeuLed counLry IIke Germuny IL occupIed LIe mInd
Iur more LIun umong LIe vIcLorIous nuLIons, wIose uveruge menLuI sLuLe, precIseIy on uccounL oI
vIcLory, wus mucI more conservuLIve. TIey by no meuns IeIL LIe wur us LIe mussIve und decIsIve
IIsLorIcuI breuk wIIcI IL seemed Lo us. TIey suw In IL u dIsLurbunce, now IuppIIy pusL, uILer
wIIcI IIIe couId reLurn Lo LIe puLI ouL oI wIIcI IL Iud been LIrusL. ¡ envIed LIem. ¡ envIed In
purLIcuIur ¡runce, Ior LIe suncLIon wIIcI, uL IeusL uppurenLIy, Iud been voucIsuIed by LIe vIcLory
Lo ILs conservuLIve bourgeoIs InLeIIecLuuI consLILuLIon; Ior LIe sense oI securILy In LIe cIussIc und
ruLIonuI, wIIcI IL mIgIL druw Irom ILs LrIumpI. CerLuInIy, ¡ sIouId uL LIuL LIme Iuve IeIL beLLer
und more uL Iome LIe oLIer sIde oI LIe RIIne LIun Iere, wIere, us ¡ suId, mucI LIuL wus new,
uIurmIng, und desLrucLIve, wIIcI none LIe Iess my conscIence obIIged me Lo Luke sLock oI, urged
ILseII upon my worId-pIcLure. And Iere ¡ LIInk oI LIe dIsLrucLIng dIscussIon evenIngs In LIe
ScIwubIng upurLmenL oI u cerLuIn SIxLus KrIdwIss, wIose ucquuInLunce ¡ mude uL LIe
ScIIugInIuuIens'. ¡ wIII come buck Lo LIose evenIngs presenLIy, onIy suyIng Ior LIe momenL LIuL
LIe guLIerIngs und InLeIIecLuuI conIerences, In wIIcI ¡ oILen ouL oI pure conscIenLIousness Look
purL, seL ubouL me sIrewdIy. And uL LIIs sume LIme wILI my wIoIe deepIy sLIrred und oILen dIs-
muyed souI ¡ wus sIurIng InLImuLeIy In LIe bIrLI oI u work wIIcI dId noL IuII oI cerLuIn boId und
propIeLIc ussocIuLIons wILI LIose sume conIerences; wIIcI conIIrmed und reuIIzed LIem on u
IIgIer, more creuLIve pIune... WIen ¡ udd LIuL besIdes uII LIIs ¡ Iud my LeucIIng work Lo perIorm
und mIgIL noL negIecL my duLIes us Ieud oI u IumIIy, IL wIII be undersLood LIuL ¡ wus subjecL Lo u
sLruIn wIIcI LogeLIer wILI u dIeL Iow In cuIorIes reduced me pIysIcuIIy noL u IILLIe.
TIIs Loo ¡ suy onIy Lo cIurucLerIze LIe IIeeLIng, Insecure LImes we IIved In; cerLuInIy noL Lo
dIrecL LIe reuder's uLLenLIon upon my InconsIderubIe person, Lo wIIcI onIy u pIuce In LIe
buckground oI LIese memoIrs Is IILLIng. ¡ Iuve uIreudy gIven expressIon Lo my regreL LIuL my zeuI
Lo communIcuLe musL Iere und LIere gIve un ImpressIon oI IIIgILIness. ¡L Is Iowever u wrong
ImpressIon, Ior ¡ sLIck very weII by my LruIns oI LIougIL, und Iuve noL IorgoLLen LIuL ¡ InLended
Lo InLroduce u second sLrIkIng und pregnunL compurIson, In uddILIon Lo LIuL wILI LIe IILLIe seu-
muId, wIIcI AdrIun mude uL LIe LIme oI IIs uLmosL und LorLurIng suIIerIngs.
"How do ¡ IeeI?" Ie suId Lo me. "QuILe u IoL IIke JoIunnes MurLyr In LIe cuuIdron oI oII. You
musL ImugIne IL preLLy mucI IIke LIuL. ¡ squuL LIere, u pIous suIIerer, In LIe Lub, wILI u IIveIy
wood IIre cruckIIng underneuLI, IuILIIuIIy Iunned up by u bruvo wILI u Iund-beIIows, und In LIe
presence oI ¡mperIuI MujesLy wIo Iooks on Irom cIose by. ¡L Is LIe Emperor Nero, you musL
know, u mugnIIIcenL bIg Turk wILI ¡LuIIun brocude on IIs buck. TIe Iungmun's IeIper In u
IIowIng juckeL und u codpIece pours LIe boIIIng oII over LIe buck oI my neck Irom u Iong-IundIed
IudIe, us ¡ duIy und devouLIy squuL. ¡ um busLed properIy, IIke u rousL, u IeII-rousL; IL Is worLI
seeIng, und you ure InvILed Lo mIngIe wILI LIe deepIy InLeresLed persons beIInd LIe burrIer, LIe
mugIsLruLes, LIe InvILed pubIIc, purLIy In Lurbuns und purLIy In good oId-Germun cups wILI IuLs
on Lop oI LIem. RespecLubIe LownsIoIk - und LIeIr pensIve mood rejoIces In LIe proLecLIon oI
IuIberdIers. One poInLs ouL Lo LIe oLIer wIuL Iuppens Lo u IeII-rousL. TIey Iuve Lwo IIngers on
LIe cIeek und Lwo under LIe nose. A IuL mun Is ruIsIng IIs Iund, us LIougI Lo suy: 'God suve us
uII!' On LIe women's Iuces, sImpIe edIIIcuLIon. Do you see IL? We ure uII cIose LogeLIer, LIe scene
Is IuILIIuIIy IIIIed wILI IIgures. Nero's IILLIe dog Ius come Loo, so LIere sIun'L be even u LIny empLy
spuce. He Ius u cross IILLIe Iox-LerrIer Iuce. ¡n LIe buckground you see LIe Lowers und gubIes und
poInLed orIeIs oI KuIsersuscIern... "
OI course Ie sIouId Iuve suId Nuremberg. ¡or wIuL Ie descrIbed - descrIbed wILI LIe sume
InLImuLe conIIdence us Ie Iud LIe LuperIng oI LIe nIxIe's body InLo LIe IIsI-LuII, so LIuL ¡ recog-
nIzed IL Iong beIore Ie goL Lo LIe end - wus LIe IIrsL sIeeL oI Durer's serIes oI woodcuLs oI LIe
ApocuIypse. How couId ¡ noL Iuve recuIIed LIe compurIson, wIen IuLer AdrIun's purpose sIowIy
reveuIed ILseII, LIougI uL LIe LIme IL seemed Iur-IeLcIed Lo me, wIIIe ImmedIuLeIy suggesLIng
cerLuIn vugue dIvInuLIons. TIIs wus LIe work wIIcI Ie wus musLerIng, LIe wIIIe IL musLered IIm;
Ior wIIcI IIs powers were sIowIy guLIerIng Ieud wIIIe LIey Iuy sLreLcIed In LormenLs. Wus ¡ noL
rIgIL Lo suy LIuL LIe depressIve und LIe exuILed sLuLes oI LIe urLIsL, IIIness und IeuILI, ure by no
meuns sIurpIy dIvIded Irom eucI oLIer? TIuL ruLIer In IIIness, us IL were under LIe Iee oI IL,
eIemenLs oI IeuILI ure uL work, und eIemenLs oI IIIness, workIng genIusIIke, ure currIed over InLo
IeuILI? ¡L Is noL oLIerwIse, ¡ LIunk LIe InsIgIL gIven me by u IrIendsIIp wIIcI cuused me mucI
dIsLress und uIurm, buL uIwuys IIIIed me Loo wILI prIde: genIus Is u Iorm oI vILuI power deepIy
experIenced In IIIness, creuLIng ouL oI IIIness, LIrougI IIIness creuLIve.
TIe concepLIon oI LIe upocuIypLIc oruLorIo, LIe secreL preoccupuLIon wILI IL, LIen, wenL Iur
buck InLo u LIme oI uppurenLIy compIeLe exIuusLIon, und LIe veIemence und rupIdILy wILI wIIcI
uILerwurds, In u Iew monLIs, IL wus puL on puper uIwuys guve me LIe Ideu LIuL LIuL perIod oI
prosLruLIon Iud been u sorL oI reIuge und reLreuL, InLo wIIcI IIs nuLure wILIdrew, In order LIuL,
unspIed on, unsuspecLed, In some IIdden suncLuury, sIuL uwuy by suIIerIng Irom our IeuILIy
IIIe, Ie mIgIL preserve und deveIop concepLIons Ior wIIcI ordInury weII-beIng wouId never
summon LIe reckIess couruge. ¡ndeed, LIey seemed Lo be us IL were robbed Irom LIe depLIs,
IeLcIed up Irom LIere und brougIL Lo LIe IIgIL oI duy. TIuL IIs purpose onIy reveuIed ILseII Lo me
by degrees Irom vIsIL Lo vIsIL, ¡ Iuve uIreudy suId. He wroLe, skeLcIed, coIIecLed, sLudIed,
combIned; LIuL couId noL be IIdden Irom me, wILI Inwurd suLIsIucLIon ¡ reuIIzed IL. AnLIcIpuLory
unnouncemenLs cume ouL, Irom week Lo week, In u IuII-jokIng IuII-sIIence; In u repuIse LIuL ouL
oI Ieur or unnoyunce proLecLed u noL quILe cunny secreL; In u IuugI, wILI druwn brows; In pIruses
IIke "SLop pryIng, keep your IILLIe souI pure!" or "You uIwuys Ieur ubouL IL soon enougI!" or,
more IrunkIy, somewIuL reudIer Lo conIess: "Yes, LIere ure IoIy Iorrors brewIng; LIe LIeoIogIcuI
vIrus, IL seems, does noL geL ouL oI one's bIood so eusIIy. WILIouL your knowIng IL, IL Ieuves u
sLrong precIpILuLe."
TIe IInL conIIrmed suspIcIons LIuL Iud urIsen In my mInd on seeIng wIuL Ie reud. On IIs
work-LubIe ¡ dIscovered un exLruordInury oId voIume: u LIIrLeenLI-cenLury ¡rencI meLrIcuI
LrunsIuLIon oI LIe Vision oj St. Pcul, LIe Greek LexL oI wIIcI duLes buck Lo LIe IourLI cenLury. To
my quesLIon ubouL wIere IL cume Irom Ie unswered:
"TIe RosensLIeI goL IL. NoL LIe IIrsL curIosILy sIe Ius dug up Ior me. An enLerprIsIng IemuIe,
LIuL. ¡L Ius noL escuped Ier LIuL ¡ Iuve u weukness Ior peopIe wIo Iuve been 'down beIow.' By
beIow ¡ meun In IeII. TIuL mukes u bond beLween peopIe us Iur upurL us PuuI und VIrgII's AEneus.
Remember Iow DunLe reIers Lo LIem us broLIers, us Lwo wIo Iuve been down beIow?"
¡ remembered. "UnIorLunuLeIy," ¡ suId, "your jilic hospitclis cun'L reud LIuL Lo you."
"No," Ie IuugIed, "Ior LIe oId ¡rencI ¡ Iuve Lo use my own eyes."
AL LIe LIme, LIuL Is, wIen Ie couId noL Iuve used LIem, us LIe puIn ubove und In LIeIr depLIs
mude reudIng ImpossIbIe, CIemenLIne ScIweIgesLIII oILen Iud Lo reud uIoud Lo IIm: muLLer
Indeed LIuL cume oddIy enougI buL uILer uII noL so unsuILubIy Irom LIe IIps oI LIe kIndIy peusunL
gIrI. ¡ myseII Iud seen LIe good cIIId wILI AdrIun In LIe AbboL's room: Ie recIIned In LIe
BernIeIm cIuIse-Iongue wIIIe sIe suL very sLIII-bucked In LIe SuvonuroIu cIuIr uL LIe LubIe und
In LoucIIngIy pIuInLIve, puInIuIIy IIgI-Germun scIooIgIrI uccenLs reud uIoud ouL oI u dIscoIoured
oId curdbourd voIume. ¡L Loo Iud probubIy come InLo LIe Iouse LIrougI LIe oIIIces oI LIe keen-
nosed RosensLIeI: IL wus LIe ecsLuLIc nurruLIve oI MecILIIId oI Mugdeburg. ¡ suL down noIseIessIy
In u corner und Ior some LIme IIsLened wILI usLonIsImenL Lo LIIs quuInL, devouL, und bIunderIng
perIormunce.
So LIen ¡ Ieurned LIuL IL wus oILen LIus. TIe brown-eyed muIden suL by LIe suIIerer, In Ier
modesL BuvurIun peusunL cosLume, wIIcI beLruyed LIe InIIuence oI LIe purIsI prIesL: u Irock oI
oIIve-green wooI, IIgI-necked, wILI u LIIck row oI LIny meLuI buLLons, LIe bodIce LIuL IIuLLened
LIe youLIIuI bosom endIng In u poInL over LIe wIde guLIered skIrL LIuL IeII Lo Ier IeeL. As soIe
udornmenL sIe wore beIow LIe neck rucIe u cIuIn mude oI oId sIIver coIns. So sIe suL und reud
or InLoned, In Ier nuIve uccenLs, Irom wrILIngs Lo wIIcI sureIy LIe purIsI prIesL couId Iuve Iud
no objecLIon: LIe eurIy CIrIsLIun und medIuevuI uccounLs oI vIsIons und specuIuLIons ubouL LIe
oLIer worId. Now und LIen MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII wouId puL Ier Ieud round LIe door Lo Iook Ior
Ier duugILer, wIom sIe mIgIL Iuve needed In LIe Iouse; buL sIe nodded upprovIngIy uL LIe puIr
und wILIdrew. Or perIups sIe Loo suL down Lo IIsLen Ior Len mInuLes on u cIuIr neur LIe door,
LIen noIseIessIy dIsuppeured. ¡I IL wus noL LIe LrunsporLs oI MecILIIId LIuL CIemenLIne
reIeursed, LIen IL wus LIose oI HIIdegurde oI BIngen; II neILIer oI LIese, LIen u Germun versIon
oI LIe Historic ecclesicsticc çentis cnçlorum by LIe Ieurned monk known us LIe VenerubIe
Bede: u work In wIIcI Is LrunsmILLed u good purL oI LIe CeILIc IunLusIes ubouL LIe beyond, LIe
vIsIonury experIences oI eurIy ¡rIsI und AngIo-Suxon LImes. TIIs wIoIe ecsLuLIc IILeruLure Irom
LIe pre-CIrIsLIun und eurIy CIrIsLIun escIuLoIogIes Iorms u rIcI IubrIc oI LrudILIon, IuII oI
recurrenL moLIIs. ¡nLo IL AdrIun spun IImseII round IIke u cocoon, Lo sLImuIuLe IImseII Ior u work
wIIcI sIouId guLIer up uII LIeIr eIemenLs InLo one sIngIe Iocus, ussembIe LIem In one pregnunL,
porLenLous synLIesIs und In reIenLIess LrunsmIssIon IoId up Lo IumunILy LIe mIrror oI LIe
reveIuLIon, LIuL IL mIgIL see LIereIn wIuL Is oncomIng und neur uL Iund.
"And end Is come, LIe end Is come, IL wuLcIeLI Ior LIee, beIoId, IL Is come. TIe mornIng Is
come unLo LIee, O LIou LIuL dweIIesL In LIe Iund." TIese words ¡everküIn mukes IIs testis, LIe
wILness, LIe nurruLor, unnounce In u specLruI meIody, buIIL up oI perIecL IourLIs und dImInIsIed
IIILIs, und seL ubove peduI IurmonIes uIIen Lo LIe key; LIey LIen Iorm LIe LexL oI LIuL boIdIy
urcIuIc responsorium, wIIcI LIey unIorgeLLubIy repeuL by Lwo Iour-purL cIoruses In conLrury
moLIon. TIese words, Indeed, do noL beIong Lo LIe ReveIuLIon oI SL. JoIn, LIey orIgInuLe In un-
oLIer Iuyer, LIe propIecy oI LIe BubyIonIun exIIe, LIe vIsIons und IumenLuLIons oI EzekIeI, Lo
wIIcI, moreover, LIe mysLerIous epIsLIe Irom PuLmos, Irom LIe LIme oI Nero, sLunds In u reIuLIon
oI LIe mosL sInguIur dependence. TIus LIe "euLIng oI LIe IILLIe book," wIIcI AIbrecIL Durer uIso
boIdIy mude LIe subjecL oI one oI IIs woodcuLs, Is Luken uImosL word Ior word Irom EzekIeI,
down Lo LIe deLuII LIuL IL (or LIe "roII," LIereIn "IumenLuLIons und mournIng und woe") In LIe
mouLI oI LIe obedIenLIy euLIng one wus us Ioney Ior sweeLness. So uIso LIe greuL wIore, LIe
womun on LIe beusL, Is quILe exLensIveIy preIIgured, wILI sImIIur Lurns oI pIruse. ¡n depIcLIng
Ier LIe Nuremberger umused IImseII by usIng LIe porLruIL sLudy Ie Iud brougIL wILI IIm oI u
VeneLIun courLesun. ¡n IucL LIere Is un upocuIypLIc LrudILIon wIIcI Iunds down Lo LIese ecsLuLIcs
vIsIons und experIences Lo u cerLuIn exLenL uIreudy Irumed, Iowever odd IL muy seem, psycIo-
IogIcuIIy, LIuL u ruvIng mun sIouId ruve In LIe sume puLLern us unoLIer wIo cume beIore IIm:
LIuL one Is ecsLuLIc noL Independ-> enLIy, so Lo speuk, buL by roLe. SLIII IL seems Lo be LIe cuse,
und ¡ poInL IL ouL In connecLIon wILI LIe sLuLemenL LIuL ¡everküIn In LIe LexL Ior IIs
IncommensurubIe cIoruI work by no meuns conIIned IImseII Lo LIe ReveIuLIon oI SL. JoIn, buL
Look In LIIs wIoIe propIeLIc LrudILIon, so LIuL IIs work umounLs Lo LIe creuLIon oI u new und
IndependenL" ApocuIypse, u sorL oI resume oI LIe wIoIe IILeruLure. TIe LILIe, Apocclçpsis cum
jiçuris, Is In Iomuge Lo Durer und Is InLended Lo empIusIze LIe vIsuuI und ucLuuIIzIng, LIe
grupIIc cIurucLer, LIe mInuLeness, LIe suLuruLIon, In sIorL, oI spuce wILI IunLusLIcuIIy exucL
deLuII: LIe IeuLure Is common Lo boLI works. BuL IL Is Iur Irom beIng LIe cuse LIuL AdrIun's
mummoLI Iresco IoIIows LIe Nuremberger's IIILeen IIIusLruLIons In uny progrummuLIc sense.
True, muny words oI LIe sume mysLerIous documenL wIIcI uIso InspIred Durer underIIe LIIs
IrIgILIuI und consummuLe work oI LonuI urL. BuL AdrIun broudened LIe scope boLI oI cIoruI
recILuLIve und oI urIosu by IncIudIng uIso mucI Irom LIe ¡umenLuLIons In LIe PsuILer, Ior InsLunce
LIuL pIercIng "¡or my souI Is IuII oI LroubIes und my IIIe druweLI nIgI unLo LIe gruve," us uIso LIe
expressIve denuncIuLIons und Imuges oI Lerror Irom LIe ApocrypIu; LIen cerLuIn IrugmenLs Irom
LIe ¡umenLuLIons oI JeremIuI, Loduy unspeukubIy oIIensIve In LIeIr eIIecL; und even remoLer
muLLer sLIII, uII oI wIIcI musL conLrIbuLe Lo produce LIe generuI ImpressIon oI u vIew openIng
InLo LIe oLIer worId und LIe IInuI reckonIng breukIng In; oI u journey InLo IeII, wIereIn ure
worked LIrougI LIe vIsIonuI represenLuLIons oI LIe IereuILer, In LIe eurIIer, sIumunIsLIc sLuges,
us weII us LIose deveIoped Irom unLIquILy und CIrIsLIunILy, down Lo DunLe. ¡everkuIn's Lone-
pIcLure druws mucI Irom DunLe's poem; und sLIII more Irom LIuL crowded wuII, swurmIng wILI
bodIes, wIere Iere ungeIs perIorm sLuccuLo on LrumpeLs oI desLrucLIon, LIere CIuron's burk
unIouds ILs IreIgIL, LIe deud rIse, suInLs pruy, duemonIc musks uwuIL LIe nod oI LIe serpenL-
wreuLIed MInos, LIe dumned mun, voIupLuous In IIesI, cIung round, currIed und druwn by
grInnIng sons oI LIe pIL, mukes IorrId descenL, coverIng one eye wILI IIs Iund und wILI LIe oLIer
sLurIng LrunsIIxed wILI Iorror InLo boLLomIess perdILIon; wIIIe noL Iur oII Gruce druws up Lwo
sInnIng souIs Irom LIe snure InLo redempLIon - In sIorL, Irom LIe groups und LIe scenIc
sLrucLure oI LIe ¡usL JudgmenL.
A mun oI cuILure, sucI us ¡ um, wIen Ie essuys Lo LuIk ubouL u work wILI wIIcI Ie Is In sucI
puInIuIIy cIose LoucI muy be purdoned Ior compurIng IL wILI exIsLIng und IumIIIur cuILuruI
monumenLs. To do LIIs gIves me LIe needed reussurunce, sLIII needed even us IL wus uL LIe LIme
wIen ¡ wus presenL wILI Iorror, umuze, consLernuLIon, und prIde, uL ILs bIrLI - un experIence
LIuL ¡ suppose wus due Lo my IovIng devoLIon Lo ILs uuLIor buL ucLuuIIy wenL beyond my menLuI
cupucILIes, so LIuL ¡ LrembIed und wus currIed uwuy. ¡or uILer LIuL IIrsL perIod wIen Ie repuIsed
me und Iugged IIs secreL, Ie LIen begun Lo gIve LIe IrIend oI IIs cIIIdIood uccess Lo IIs doIng
und sLrIvIng; so LIuL uL every vIsIL Lo PIeIIIerIng - und oI course ¡ wenL us oILen us ¡ couId, und
uImosL uIwuys over SuLurduy und Sunduy - ¡ wus uIIowed Lo see new purLs us LIey deveIoped,
uIso uccreLIons und druILs, oI u scope uL LImes IuIrIy IncredIbIe. Here were vusLIy compIex
probIems, LecInIcuI und InLeIIecLuuI, subjecLIng LIemseIves Lo LIe sLrIcLesL Iuw. ConLempIuLIng
LIe mere munuIucLure oI LIe work u sLeudy-goIng mun used Lo u moderuLe bourgeoIs ruLe oI
uccompIIsImenL mIgIL weII go puIe wILI Lerror. Yes, ¡ conIess LIuL In my sImpIe Iumun Ieur LIe
IurgesL IucLor wus, ¡ sIouId suy, LIe perIecLIy uncunny rupIdILy wILI wIIcI LIe work cume Lo be:
LIe cIIeI purL oI IL In Iour und u IuII monLIs, u perIod wIIcI one wouId Iuve uIIowed Ior LIe mere
mecIunIcuI Lusk oI puLLIng IL down.
ObvIousIy und udmILLedIy LIIs mun IIved uL LIe LIme In u sLuLe oI LensIon so IIgI us Lo be
unyLIIng buL ugreeubIe. ¡L wus more IIke u consLunL Lyrunny: LIe IIusIIng up und sLuLIng oI u
probIem, LIe Lusk oI composILIon (over wIIcI Ie Iud IereLoIore uIwuys IIngered), wus one wILI
ILs IIgILnIngIIke soIuLIon. ScurceIy dId IL Ieuve IIm LIme Lo IoIIow wILI LIe pen LIe IuunLIng und
IunLIng InspIruLIons wIIcI guve IIm no resL, wIIcI mude IIm LIeIr sIuve. SLIII In LIe mosL IrugIIe
IeuILI, Ie worked Len Iours u duy und more, broken onIy by u sIorL puuse uL mIdduy und now
und LIen u wuIk round LIe pond or up LIe IIII, brIeI excursIons more IIke IIIgIL LIun recreuLIon.
One couId see by IIs sLep, IIrsL IusLy und LIen IuILIng, LIuL LIey were mereIy unoLIer Iorm oI
unresL. Muny u Sunduy evenIng ¡ spenL wILI IIm und uIwuys remurked Iow IILLIe Ie wus IIs own
musLer, Iow IILLIe Ie couId sLIck Lo LIe everyduy, IndIIIerenL subjecLs wIIcI Ie deIIberuLeIy cIose,
by wuy oI reIuxuLIon, Lo LuIk ubouL wILI me. ¡ see IIm suddenIy sLIIIen Irom u reIuxed posLure; see
IIs guze go sLurIng und IIsLenIng, IIs IIps purL und - unweIcome sIgIL Lo me - LIe IIIckerIng red
rIse In IIs cIeeks. WIuL wus LIuL? Wus IL one oI LIose meIodIc IIIumInuLIons Lo wIIcI Ie wus, ¡
mIgIL uImosL suy, exposed und wILI wIIcI powers wIereoI ¡ reIuse Lo know uugIL kepL LIeIr pucL
wILI IIm? Wus IL one oI LIose so mIgILIIy pIusLIc LIemes In wIIcI LIe upocuIypLIc work ubounds,
rIsIng Lo IIs mInd, LIere uL once Lo be cIecked und cIIIIed, Lo be brIdIed und bILLed und mude Lo
Luke ILs proper pIuce In LIe wIoIe sLrucLure? ¡ see IIm wILI u murmured "Go on, go on!" move Lo
IIs LubIe, open LIe IoIder oI orcIesLruI druILs wILI sucI vIoIence us someLImes Lo Leur one, und
wILI u grImuce wIose mIngIed meunIng ¡ wIII noL Lry Lo convey buL wIIcI In my eyes dIsLorLed
LIe IoILy, InLeIIIgenL beuuLy IIs IeuLures wore by rIgIL, reud Lo IImseII, wIere perIups wus
skeLcIed LIuL IrIgILIuI cIorus oI IumunILy IIeeIng beIore LIe Iour Iorsemen, sLumbIIng, IuIIen,
overrIdden; or LIere wus noLed down LIe uwIuI screum gIven Lo LIe mockIng, bIeuLIng bussoon,
LIe "WuII oI LIe BIrd"; or perIups LIuL song und unswer, IIke un unLIpIony, wIIcI on IIrsL
IeurIng so grIpped my IeurL - LIe IursI cIoruI Iugue Lo LIe words oI JeremIuI:
WIereIore doLI u IIvIng mun compIuIn, A mun Ior LIe punIsImenL oI IIs sIns?
¡eL us seurcI und Lry our wuys, And Lurn uguIn Lo LIe ¡ord...
We Iuve Lrunsgressed und Iuve rebeIIed:
TIou IusL noL purdoned.
TIou IusL covered wILI unger
And persecuLed us:
TIou IusL sIuIn, LIou IusL noL pILIed...
TIou IusL mude us us LIe oIIscourIng
And reIuse In LIe mIdsL oI LIe peopIe.
¡ cuII LIe pIece u Iugue, und IL gIves LIuL ImpressIon, yeL LIe LIeme Is noL IuILIIuIIy repeuLed,
buL ruLIer deveIops wILI LIe deveIopmenL oI LIe wIoIe, so LIuL u sLyIe Is Ioosened und In u wuy
reduced cd cbsurdum, Lo wIIcI LIe urLIsL seems Lo submIL IImseII - wIIcI cunnoL occur
wILIouL reIerence buck Lo LIe urcIuIc IuguI Iorms oI cerLuIn cunzonI und rIcercurI oI LIe pre-BucI
LIme, In wIIcI LIe Iugue LIeme Is noL uIwuys cIeurIy deIIned und udIered Lo.
Here or LIere Ie mIgIL Iook, seIze IIs pen, LIrow IL down uguIn, murmur: "Good, LIII
Lomorrow," und Lurn buck Lo me, LIe IIusI sLIII on IIs brow. BuL ¡ knew or Ieured LIuL LIe "LIII
Lomorrow" wouId noL be udIered Lo: LIuL uILer ¡ IeIL Ie wouId sIL down und work ouL wIuL Iud so
unsummoned IIusIed InLo IIs mInd us we LuIked. TIen Ie wouId Luke Lwo IumInoI LubIeLs Lo gIve
IIs sIeep LIe soundness wIIcI musL compensuLe Ior ILs brIeIness. ¡or nexL duy Ie wouId begIn
uguIn uL duybreuk. He quoLed:
"Up, psuILer und Iurp - ¡ wIII be eurIy up."
He IIved In Ieur LIuL LIe sLuLe oI IIIumInuLIon wILI wIIcI Ie wus bIesL - or wILI wIIcI Ie wus
uIIIIcLed - mIgIL be unLImeIy wILIdruwn. And In IucL Ie dId suIIer u reIupse. ¡L wus sIorLIy
beIore Ie goL Lo LIe end, LIuL IrIgILIuI IInIs, wIIcI demunded uII IIs couruge und wIIcI, so Iur
Irom beIng u romunLIc musIc oI redempLIon, reIenLIessIy conIIrms LIe LIeoIogIcuIIy neguLIve und
pILIIess cIurucLer oI LIe wIoIe. ¡L wus, ¡ suy, jusL beIore Ie mude porL wILI LIose rourIng bruss
pussuges, IeuvIIy scored und wIdeIy spuced ouL, wIIcI muke one LIInk oI un open ubyss wIereIn
one musL IopeIessIy sInk. TIe reIupse IusLed Ior LIree weeks wILI puIn und nuuseu, u condILIon In
wIIcI, In IIs own words, Ie IosL LIe memory oI wIuL IL meunL Lo compose, or even Iow IL wus
done.
¡L pussed. AL LIe begInnIng oI AugusL 1q1q Ie wus workIng uguIn; und beIore LIIs monLI, wILI
ILs muny IoL, sunny duys, wus over, IIs Lusk wus IInIsIed. TIe Iour und u IuII monLIs wIIcI ¡
guve us LIe perIod oI producLIon ure reckoned up Lo LIe begInnIng oI LIe reIupse. ¡ncIudIng LIe
IInuI workIng perIod, LIe skeLcI oI LIe Apocclçpse Iud Luken IIm, In uII, umuzIngIy enougI, sIx
monLIs Lo puL on puper.

CHAPTIR XXXIV {continoed)
And now: Is LIuL uII ¡ Iuve Lo suy In IIs bIogrupIy ubouL LIIs work oI my depurLed IrIend: LIIs
work u LIousundIoId IuLed, LIougIL oI wILI sIudderIng und yeL u IundredIoId beIoved und
exuILed? No, ¡ sLIII Iuve mucI on my IeurL ubouL IL und ubouL cerLuIn oI ILs cIurucLerIsLIcs, wIIcI
- oI course wILI undevIuLIng udmIruLIon - dIsLurbed und depressed me, or, beLLer puL, ubsorbed
my uLLenLIon even wIIIe LIey dIsLurbed my mInd. BuL uL LIe sume LIme ¡ Iud IL In mInd Lo
connecL LIose very quuIILIes und cIurucLerIsLIcs wILI LIe ubsLrucL specuIuLIons Lo wIIcI ¡ wus
exposed In LIe Iouse oI Herr SexLus KrIdwIss und Lo wIIcI ¡ reIerred on un eurIIer puge. ¡ um
Iree Lo conIess LIuL LIe noveI experIences oI LIese KrIdwIss evenIngs, combIned wILI my
purLIcIpuLIon In AdrIun's soIILury work, were responsIbIe Ior LIe menLuI sLruIn oI my IIIe uL LIuL
LIme und In LIe end Ior LIe Ioss oI u good LweIve pounds' weIgIL.
KrIdwIss wus un experL In LIe grupIIc urLs und IIne edILIons, coIIecLor oI eusL-AsIuLIc coIoured
wood-curvIngs und cerumIcs, u IIeId In wIIcI, InvILed by LIIs or LIuL cuILuruI orgunIzuLIon, Ie
guve InLeresLIng und weII-InIormed IecLures In vurIous cILIes oI LIe ReIcI und even ubroud. He
wus un ugeIess, ruLIer duInLy IILLIe genLIemun, wILI u sLrong RIenIsI-HessIun uccenL und
uncommon InLeIIecLuuI IIveIIness. He seemed noL Lo Iuve connecLIons oI uny opInIon-IormIng
kInd so Iur us one couId LeII, buL ouL oI pure curIosILy "IIsLened In" uL uII LIe evenLs oI LIe duy;
und wIen LIIs or LIuL cume Lo IIs eurs Ie wouId descrIbe IL us "scho' enorm uischtich." TIe
recepLIon-room oI IIs Iouse In MurLIussLrusse, ScIwubIng, wus decoruLed wILI cIurmIng
CIInese puInLIngs In ¡ndIu Ink und coIour (Irom LIe Sung perIod!) und Ie mude IL u meeLIng-
pIuce Ior LIe IeudIng or ruLIer LIe InILIuLe members oI LIe InLeIIecLuuI IIIe oI MunIcI, us muny oI
LIem us LIe good cILy Iurboured In Ier wuIIs. KrIdwIss urrunged InIormuI dIscussIon evenIngs Ior
genLIemen, InLImuLe round-LubIe sILLIngs oI noL more LIun eIgIL or Len personuIILIes; one puL In
un uppeurunce uL ubouL nIne o'cIock und wILI no greuL enLerLuInmenL on LIe purL oI LIe IosL
proceeded Lo Iree ussocIuLIon und LIe excIunge oI Ideus. OI course InLeIIecLuuI IIgI LensIon wus
noL unInLermILLedIy susLuIned; LIe LuIk oILen sIIpped InLo comIorLubIe everyduy cIunneIs, sInce
LIunks Lo KrIdwIss's socIuI LusLes und obIIguLIons LIe IeveI wus ruLIer uneven. ¡or InsLunce LIere
Look purL In LIe sessIons Lwo members oI LIe grund-ducuI Iouse oI Hesse-Nussuu, LIen sLudyIng
In MunIcI, IrIendIy young IoIk wIom LIe IosL wILI u cerLuIn empressement cuIIed LIe beuuLIIuI
prInces. ¡n LIeIr presence, II onIy becuuse LIey were so mucI younger LIun LIe resL oI us, we
prucLIsed u cerLuIn reserve. ¡ cunnoL suy Iowever LIuL LIey dIsLurbed us mucI. OILen u more
IIgIbrow conversuLIon wenL puInIessIy over LIeIr Ieuds, wIIIe LIey smIIed In modesL sIIence or
mude suILubIy serIous Iuces. More unnoyIng Ior me personuIIy wus LIe presence oI Dr. CIuIm
BreIsucIer, LIe Iover oI purudox, uIreudy known Lo LIe reuder. ¡ Iong ugo udmILLed LIuL ¡ couId
noL endure LIe mun; buL IIs peneLruLIon und keen scenL uppeured Lo be IndIspensubIe on LIese
occusIons. ¡ wus uIso IrrILuLed by LIe presence oI BuIIInger, LIe munuIucLurer; Ie wus IegILImuLed
onIy by IIs IIgI Income Lux, buL Ie LuIked dogmuLIcuIIy on LIe IoILIesL cuILuruI LIemes.
¡ musL conIess IurLIer LIuL reuIIy ¡ couId IeeI no proper IIkIng Lo uny oI LIe LubIe-round, nor
exLend Lo uny one oI LIem u IeeIIng oI genuIne conIIdence. HeImuL ¡nsLILorIs wus uIso u guesL,
und IIm ¡ excepL, sInce ¡ Iud IrIendIy reIuLIons wILI IIm LIrougI IIs wIIe; yeL even Iere LIe
ussocIuLIons evoked were puInIuI ones, LIougI on oLIer grounds. BuL one mIgIL usk wIuL ¡ couId
Iuve uguInsL Dr. UnruIe, Egon UnruIe, u pIIIosopIIc puIueozooIogIsL wIo In IIs wrILIngs
brIIIIunLIy combIned u proIound knowIedge oI geoIogIcuI perIods und IossIIIzuLIon wILI LIe
InLerpreLuLIon und scIenLIIIc verIIIcuLIon oI our sLore oI prImILIve sugus. ¡n LIIs LIeory, u
subIImuLed DurwInIsm II you IIke, everyLIIng LIere becume Lrue und reuI, LIougI u sopIIsLIcuLed
IumunILy Iud Iong sInce ceused Lo beIIeve IL. Yes, wIence my dIsLrusL oI LIIs Ieurned und
conscIenLIousIy InLeIIecLuuI mun? WIence LIe sume dIsLrusL oI ProIessor Georg VogIer, LIe
IILerury IIsLorIun, wIo Iud wrILLen u mucI esLeemed IIsLory oI Germun IILeruLure Irom LIe poInL
oI vIew oI rucIuI orIgIns, wIereIn un uuLIor Is dIscussed und evuIuuLed noL us wrILer und
compreIensIveIy LruIned mInd, buL us LIe genuIne bIood-und-soII producL oI IIs reuI, concreLe,
specIIIc corner oI LIe ReIcI, engenderIng IIm und by IIm engendered. AII LIuL wus very worLIy,
sLrong-mInded, IIL und proper, und crILIcuIIy worLI LIInkIng ubouL. TIe urL-crILIc und Durer
scIoIur ProIessor GIIgen HoIzscIuIer, unoLIer guesL, wus noL uccepLubIe Lo me eILIer, on
grounds sImIIurIy Iurd Lo jusLIIy; und LIe sume wus Lrue wILIouL reservuLIon oI LIe poeL DunIeI
zur HoIe wIo wus oILen presenL. He wus u Ieun mun oI LIIrLy In u bIuck cIerIcIIke IubIL cIosed Lo
LIe LIrouL, wILI u proIIIe IIke u bIrd oI prey und u IummerIng deIIvery, us Ior InsLunce: "Yes, yes,
yes, yes, noL so bud, oI cerLuInIy, one muy suy so!" nervousIy und conLInuousIy LuppIng LIe IIoor
LIe wIIIe wILI LIe buIIs oI IIs IeeL. He Ioved Lo cross IIs urms on IIs cIesL or LIrusL one Iund
NupoIeon-IIke In IIs couL, und IIs poeL dreums deuIL wILI u worId subjecLed by sunguInury
cumpuIgns Lo LIe pure spIrIL, by IL IeId In Lerror und IIgI dIscIpIIne, us Ie Iud descrIbed IL In IIs
work, ¡ beIIeve IIs onIy one, LIe Proclcmctions. ¡L Iud uppeured beIore LIe wur, prInLed on
Iund-mude puper, u IyrIcuI und rIeLorIcuI ouLbursL oI rIoLous LerrorIsm, Lo wIIcI one Iud Lo
concede consIderubIe verbuI power. TIe sIgnuLory Lo LIese procIumuLIons wus un enLILy numed
Christus Imperctor Mcximus, u commundIng energumen wIo IevIed Lroops prepured Lo dIe Ior
LIe subjecLIon oI LIe gIobe. He promuIguLed messuges IIke Orders oI LIe Duy, sLIpuIuLed
ubundonedIy ruLIIess condILIons, procIuImed poverLy und cIusLILy, und couId noL do enougI In
LIe IummerIng, IIsL-poundIng IIne Lo exucL unquesLIoned und unIImILed obedIence. "SoIdIers!"
LIe poem ended, "¡ deIIver Lo you Lo pIunder - the Worldl"
AII LIIs wus "beuuLIIuI" und mIgILIIy uccIuImed us sucI; "beuuLIIuI" In u crueIIy und ubsoIuLeIy
beuuLy-ous wuy, In LIe ImpudenLIy deLucIed, IIIppunL, und IrresponsIbIe sLyIe poeLs permIL
LIemseIves: IL wus, In IucL, LIe LuIIesL uesLIeLIc mIsdemeunour ¡ Iuve ever come ucross. HeImuL
¡nsLILorIs, oI course, wus sympuLIeLIc; buL Indeed boLI uuLIor und work Iud enjoyed u meusure
oI serIous respecL Irom LIe pubIIc, und my unLIpuLIy wus noL quILe so sure oI ILseII, becuuse ¡ wus
conscIous oI my generuI IrrILuLIon wILI LIe wIoIe KrIdwIss cIrcIe und LIe preLensIons oI ILs
cuILuruI posILIon, oI wIIcI my InLeIIecLuuI conscIence Iorced me Lo Luke uccounL.
¡ wIII Lry, In us smuII spuce us possIbIe, Lo skeLcI LIe essenLIuI oI LIese experIences, wIIcI our
IosL rIgILIy Iound "enormousIy ImporLunL" und wIIcI DunIeI zur HoIe uccompunIed wILI IIs
sLereoLyped "OI yes, yes, yes, noL so bud, yes, cerLuInIy, one muy suy so," even wIen IL dId noL
exucLIy go so Iur us LIe pIunderIng oI LIe worId by LIe LougI und dedIcuLed soIdIery oI Christus
Imperctor Mcximus. TIuL wus, oI course, onIy symboIIc poesy, wIereus LIe InLeresL oI LIe
conIerences Iuy In surveys oI socIoIogIcuI ucLuuIILIes, unuIyses oI LIe presenL und LIe IuLure,
wIIcI even so Iud someLIIng In common wILI LIe usceLIc und "beuuLIIuI" nIgILmures oI DunIeI's
IunLusy. ¡ Iuve cuIIed uLLenLIon ubove, quILe upurL Irom LIese evenIngs, Lo LIe dIsLurbunce und
desLrucLIon oI uppurenLIy IIxed vuIues oI IIIe brougIL ubouL by LIe wur, especIuIIy In LIe
conquered counLrIes, wIIcI were LIus In u psycIoIogIcuI sense IurLIer on LIun LIe oLIers. Very
sLrongIy IeIL und objecLIveIy conIIrmed wus LIe enormous Ioss oI vuIue wIIcI LIe IndIvIduuI Iud
susLuIned, LIe ruLIIessness wIIcI mude IIIe Loduy sLrIde uwuy over LIe sIngIe person und
precIpILuLe ILseII us u generuI IndIIIerence Lo LIe suIIerIngs und desLrucLIon oI Iumun beIngs.
TIIs cureIessness, LIIs IndIIIerence Lo LIe IndIvIduuI IuLe, mIgIL uppeur Lo be LIe resuIL oI LIe
Iour yeurs' curnIvuI oI bIood jusL beIInd us; buL uppeurunces were decepLIve. As In muny unoLIer
respecL Iere Loo LIe wur onIy compIeLed, deIIned, und drusLIcuIIy puL In prucLIce u process LIuL
Iud been on LIe wuy Iong beIore und Iud mude ILseII LIe busIs oI u new IeeIIng ubouL IIIe. TIIs
wus noL u muLLer Ior pruIse or bIume, ruLIer oI objecLIve percepLIon und sLuLemenL. However, LIe
IeusL pussIonuLe recognILIon oI LIe ucLuuI, jusL ouL oI sIeer pIeusure In recognILIon, uIwuys
conLuIns some sIude oI upprobuLIon; so wIy sIouId one noL uccompuny sucI objecLIve
percepLIons oI LIe LIme wILI u muny-sIded, yes, uII-embrucIng crILIque oI LIe bourgeoIs LrudILIon?
By LIe bourgeoIs LrudILIon ¡ meun LIe vuIues oI cuILure, enIIgILenmenL, IumunILy, In sIorL oI
sucI dreums us LIe upIIILIng oI LIe peopIe LIrougI scIenLIIIc cIvIIIzuLIon. TIey wIo prucLIsed LIIs
crILIque were men oI educuLIon, cuILure, scIence. TIey dId IL, Indeed, smIIIng; wILI u bIILIeness
und InLeIIecLuuI compIucency wIIcI IenL LIe LIIng u specIuI, pungenL, dIsquIeLIng, or even sIIgILIy
perverse cIurm. ¡L Is probubIy superIIuous Lo sLuLe LIuL noL Ior u momenL dId LIey recognIze LIe
Iorm oI governmenL wIIcI we goL us u resuIL oI deIeuL, LIe Ireedom LIuL IeII In our Iups, In u word
LIe democruLIc repubIIc, us unyLIIng Lo be Luken serIousIy us LIe IegILImIzed Irume oI LIe new
sILuuLIon. WILI one uccord LIey LreuLed IL us epIemeruI, us meunIngIess Irom LIe sLurL, yes, us u
bud joke Lo be dIsmIssed wILI u sIrug.
TIey cILed de TocquevIIIe, wIo Iud suId LIuL ouL oI revoIuLIon us ouL oI u common source Lwo
sLreums Issued, LIe one IeudIng men Lo Iree urrungemenLs, LIe oLIer Lo ubsoIuLe power. ¡n LIe
Iree urrungemenLs none oI LIe genLIemen conversuLIonuIIsLs uL KrIdwIss's uny Ionger beIIeved,
sInce LIe very concepL wus seII-conLrudIcLory: Ireedom by LIe ucL oI usserLIon beIng drIven Lo
IImIL LIe Ireedom oI ILs unLugonIsL und LIus Lo sLuILIIy ILseII und ILs own prIncIpIes. SucI wus In
IucL ILs uILImuLe IuLe, LIougI oILener LIe prepossessIon ubouL "Iumun rIgILs" wus LIrown
overbourd uL LIe sLurL. And LIIs wus Iur more IIkeIy LIun LIuL we wouId IeL ourseIves In Loduy Ior
LIe dIuIecLIc process wIIcI Lurned Ireedom InLo LIe dIcLuLorsIIp oI ILs purLy. ¡n LIe end IL uII
cume down Lo dIcLuLorsIIp, Lo Iorce, Ior wILI LIe demoIILIon oI LIe LrudILIonuI nuLIonuI und socIuI
Iorms LIrougI LIe ¡rencI RevoIuLIon un epocI Iud duwned wIIcI, conscIousIy or noL,
conIessedIy or noL, sLeered ILs course Lowurd despoLIc Lyrunny over LIe musses; und LIey,
reduced Lo one unIIorm IeveI, uLomIzed, ouL oI LoucI, were us powerIess us LIe sIngIe IndIvIduuI.
"QuILe rIgIL, quILe rIgIL. OI, Indeed yes, one muy suy so!" zur HoIe ussured us, und pounded
wILI IIs IeeL. OI course one muy suy so; onIy one mIgIL, Ior my LusLe, deuIIng wILI LIIs descrIp-
LIon oI u mounLIng burburIsm, Iuve suId so wILI ruLIer more Ieur und LrembIIng und ruLIer Iess
bIILIe suLIsIucLIon. One wus IeIL wILI LIe Iope LIuL LIe compIucency oI LIese genLIemen Iud Lo do
wILI LIeIr recognILIon oI LIe sLuLe oI LIIngs und noL wILI LIe sLuLe oI LIIngs In ILseII. ¡eL me seL
down us cIeurIy us ¡ cun u pIcLure oI LIIs dIsLressIng good Iumour oI LIeIrs. No one wIII be
surprIsed LIuL, In LIe conversuLIons oI LIIs uvunL-gurde oI cuILure und crILIque, u book wIIcI Iud
uppeured seven yeurs beIore LIe wur, "Rejlexions sur lc tiolence" by SoreI, pIuyed un ImporLunL
purL. TIe uuLIor's reIenLIess prognosLIcuLIon oI wur und unurcIy, IIs cIurucLerIzuLIon oI Europe
us LIe wur-breedIng soII, IIs LIeory LIuL LIe peopIes oI our conLInenL cun unILe onIy In LIe one
Ideu, LIuL oI mukIng wur - uII jusLIIIed ILs pubIIc In cuIIIng IL LIe book oI LIe duy. BuL even more
LrencIunL und LeIIIng wus ILs percepLIon und sLuLemenL oI LIe IucL LIuL In LIIs uge oI LIe musses
purIIumenLury dIscussIon musL prove enLIreIy InudequuLe Ior LIe sIupIng oI poIILIcuI decIsIons;
LIuL In ILs sLeud LIe musses wouId Iuve In LIe IuLure Lo be provIded wILI myLIIcuI IIcLIons,
devIsed IIke prImILIve buLLIe-crIes, Lo reIeuse und ucLIvuLe poIILIcuI energIes. TIIs wus In IucL LIe
cruss und InIIumIng propIecy oI LIe book: LIuL popuIur myLIs or ruLIer LIose proper Ior LIe
musses wouId become LIe veIIcIe oI poIILIcuI ucLIon; IubIes, Insune vIsIons, cII-muerus, wIIcI
needed Lo Iuve noLIIng Lo do wILI LruLI or reuson or scIence In order Lo be creuLIve, Lo deLermIne
LIe course oI IIIe und IIsLory, und LIus Lo prove LIemseIves dynumIc reuIILIes. NoL Ior noLIIng, oI
course, dId LIe book beur ILs uIurmIng LILIe; Ior IL deuIL wILI vIoIence us LIe LrIumpIunL unLILIesIs
oI LruLI. ¡L mude pIuIn LIuL LIe IuLe oI LruLI wus bound up wILI LIe IuLe oI LIe IndIvIduuI, yes,
IdenLIcuI wILI IL: beIng Ior boLI LruLI und LIe IndIvIduuI u cIeupenIng, u devuIuuLIon. ¡L opened u
mockIng ubyss beLween LruLI und power, LruLI und IIIe, LruLI und LIe communILy. ¡L sIowed by
ImpIIcuLIon LIuL precedence beIonged Iur more Lo LIe communILy; LIuL LruLI Iud LIe communILy
us ILs gouI, und LIuL wIoever wouId sIure In LIe communILy musL be prepured Lo scrup
consIderubIe eIemenLs oI LruLI und scIence und IIne up Ior LIe sccrijicium intellectus.
And now ImugIne (Iere Is LIe "cIeur pIcLure" ¡ promIsed Lo gIve) Iow LIese genLIemen,
scIenLIsLs LIemseIves, scIoIurs und LeucIers - VogIer, UnruIe, HoIzscIuIer, ¡nsLILorIs, und
BreIsucIer us weII - reveIIed In u sILuuLIon wIIcI Ior me Iud ubouL IL so mucI LIuL wus
LerrIIyIng, und wIIcI LIey regurded us eILIer uIreudy In IuII swIng or InevILubIy on LIe wuy. TIey
umused LIemseIves by ImugInIng u IeguI process In wIIcI one oI LIese muss myLIs wus up Ior
dIscussIon In LIe servIce oI LIe poIILIcuI drIve Ior LIe undermInIng oI LIe bourgeoIs socIuI order.
¡Ls proLugonIsLs Iud Lo deIend LIemseIves uguInsL LIe cIurge oI IyIng und IuIsIIIcuLIon; buL
pIuInLIII und deIendunL dId noL so mucI uLLuck eucI oLIer us In LIe mosL IuugIubIe wuy mIss eucI
oLIer's poInLs. TIe IunLusLIc LIIng wus LIe mIgILy uppuruLus oI scIenLIIIc wILness wIIcI wus
Invoked - quILe IuLIIeIy - Lo prove LIuL Iumbug wus Iumbug und u scunduIous uIIronL Lo LruLI.
¡or LIe dynumIc, IIsLorIcuIIy creuLIve IIcLIon, LIe so-cuIIed IIe und IuIsIIIcuLIon, In oLIer words
LIe communILy-IormIng beIIeI, wus sImpIy InuccessIbIe Lo LIIs IIne oI uLLuck. ScIence sLrove, on
LIe pIune oI decenL, objecLIve LruLI, Lo conIuLe LIe dynumIc IIe; buL urgumenLs on LIuL pIune
couId onIy seem IrreIevunL Lo LIe cIumpIons oI LIe dynumIc, wIo mereIy smIIed u superIor smIIe.
ScIence, LruLI - good God! TIe drumuLIc exposILIons oI LIe group were possessed by LIe spIrIL
und LIe uccenL oI LIuL ejucuIuLIon. TIey couId scurceIy conLuIn LIeIr mIrLI uL LIe desperuLe
cumpuIgn wuged by reuson und crILIcIsm uguInsL wIoIIy unLoucIubIe, wIoIIy InvuInerubIe beIIeI.
And wILI LIeIr unILed powers LIey knew Iow Lo seL scIence In u IIgIL oI sucI comIc ImpoLence
LIuL even LIe "beuuLIIuI prInces," In LIeIr cIIIdIIke wuy, were brIIIIunLIy enLerLuIned. TIe Iuppy
bourd dId noL IesILuLe Lo prescrIbe Lo jusLIce, wIIcI Iud Lo suy LIe IusL word und pronounce LIe
judgmenL, LIe sume seII-ubneguLIon wIIcI LIey LIemseIves prucLIsed. A jurIsprudence LIuL
wIsIed Lo resL on popuIur IeeIIng und noL Lo IsoIuLe ILseII Irom LIe communILy couId noL venLure
Lo espouse LIe poInL oI vIew oI LIeoreLIc, unLI-communuI, so-cuIIed LruLI; IL Iud Lo prove ILseII
modern us weII us puLrIoLIc, puLrIoLIc In LIe mosL modern sense, by respecLIng LIe IruILIuI jclsum,
ucquILLIng ILs uposLIes, und dIsmIssIng scIence wILI u IIeu In ILs eur.
"OI yes, yes, yes, cerLuInIy, one muy suy so" - LIump, LIump.
AILIougI ¡ IeIL sIck uL my sLomucI, ¡ wouId noL pIuy LIe spoIIsporL; ¡ sIowed no repugnunce,
buL ruLIer joIned us weII us ¡ couId In LIe generuI mIrLI; purLIcuIurIy sInce LIIs dId noL neces-
surIIy meun ugreemenL buL onIy, uL IeusL provIsIonuIIy, u smIIIng, gruLIIIed InLeIIecLuuI
recognILIon oI wIuL wus or wus Lo be. ¡ dId once suggesL LIuL "II we wunLed Lo be serIous Ior u
momenL," we mIgIL consIder wIeLIer u LIInkIng mun, Lo wIom LIe exLremILy oI our sILuuLIon Iuy
very mucI uL IeurL, wouId noL perIups do beLLer Lo muke LruLI und noL LIe communILy IIs gouI,
sInce LIe IuLLer wouId IndIrecLIy und In LIe Iong run be beLLer served by LruLI, even LIe bILLer
LruLI, LIun by u LruIn oI LIougIL wIIcI proposed Lo serve IL uL LIe expense oI LruLI, buL ucLuuIIy,
by sucI denIuI, desLroyed Irom wILIIn In LIe mosL unnuLuruI wuy LIe busIs oI genuIne
communILy. Never In my IIIe Iuve ¡ mude u remurk LIuL IeII more uLLerIy und compIeLeIy IIuL LIun
LIIs one. ¡ udmIL LIuL IL wus u LucLIess remurk, unsuILed Lo LIe prevuIIIng InLeIIecLuuI cIImuLe, und
permeuLed wILI un IdeuIIsm oI course weII known, onIy Loo weII known, weII known Lo LIe poInL
oI beIng bud LusLe, und mereIy emburrussIng Lo LIe new Ideus. MucI beLLer wus IL Ior me Lo cIIme
In wILI LIe oLIers; Lo Iook uL LIe new, Lo expIore IL, und InsLeud oI oIIerIng IL IuLIIe und cerLuInIy
borIng opposILIon, Lo udupL my concepLIons Lo LIe course oI LIe dIscussIon und In LIe Irume oI
LIem Lo muke myseII u pIcLure oI LIe IuLure und oI u worId even now, II unuwures, In LIe LIroes
oI bIrLI - und LIIs no muLLer Iow ¡ mIgIL be IeeIIng In LIe pIL oI my sLomucI.
¡L wus un oId-new worId oI revoIuLIonury reucLIon, In wIIcI LIe vuIues bound up wILI LIe Ideu
oI LIe IndIvIduuI - sIuII we suy LruLI, Ireedom, Iuw, reuson? - were enLIreIy rejecLed und sIorn
oI power, or eIse Iud Luken on u meunIng quILe dIIIerenL Irom LIuL gIven LIem Ior cenLurIes.
WrencIed uwuy Irom LIe wusIed-ouL LIeoreLIc, bused on LIe reIuLIve und pumped IuII oI IresI
bIood, LIey were reIerred Lo LIe Iur IIgIer courL oI vIoIence, uuLIorILy, LIe dIcLuLorsIIp oI beIIeI
- noL, IeL me suy, In u reucLIonury, unucIronIsLIc wuy us oI yesLerduy or LIe duy beIore, buL so
LIuL IL wus IIke LIe mosL noveI seLLIng buck oI IumunILy InLo medIevuIIy LIeocruLIc condILIons
und sILuuLIons. TIuL wus us IILLIe reucLIonury us LIougI one were Lo descrIbe us regressIon LIe
Lruck round u spIere, wIIcI oI course Ieuds buck Lo wIere IL sLurLed. TIere IL wus: progress und
reucLIon, LIe oId und LIe new, LIe pusL und LIe IuLure becume one; LIe poIILIcuI RIgIL more und
more coIncIded wILI LIe ¡eIL. TIuL LIougIL wus Iree, LIuL reseurcI worked wILIouL ussumpLIons:
LIese were concepLIons wIIcI, Iur Irom represenLIng progress, beIonged Lo u superseded und
unInLeresLIng worId. ¡reedom wus gIven Lo LIougIL LIuL IL mIgIL jusLIIy Iorce; jusL us seven
Iundred yeurs ugo reuson Iud been Iree Lo dIscuss IuILI und demonsLruLe dogmu; Ior LIuL sIe
wus LIere, und Ior LIuL Loduy LIInkIng wus LIere, or wouId be LIere Lomorrow. ReseurcI
certcinlç Iud ussumpLIons - oI course IL Iud! TIey were Iorce, LIe uuLIorILy oI LIe communILy;
und Indeed LIey were so Luken Ior grunLed us sucI LIuL scIence never cume upon LIe LIougIL LIuL
perIups IL wus noL Iree. SubjecLIveIy, Indeed, IL wus Iree, enLIreIy so, wILIIn un objecLIve resLruInL
so nuLIve und IncorporuLe LIuL IL wus In no wuy IeIL us u IeLLer. To muke oneseII cIeur us Lo wIuL
wus comIng und Lo geL rId oI LIe sIIIy Ieur oI IL one need onIy remInd oneseII LIuL LIe
ubsoIuLeness oI deIInILe premIses und sucrosuncL condILIons Iud never been u IIndrunce Lo Iuncy
und IndIvIduuI boIdness oI LIougIL. On LIe conLrury: precIseIy becuuse Irom LIe very IIrsL
medIuevuI mun Iud receIved u cIosed InLeIIecLuuI Irume Irom LIe CIurcI us someLIIng ubsoIuLe
und Luken Ior grunLed, Ie Iud been Iur more ImugInuLIve LIun LIe burgIer oI LIe IndIvIduuIIsL
uge; Ie Iud been ubIe Lo surrender IImseII Iur more IreeIy und sure-IooLedIy Lo IIs personuI
IunLusy.
OI, yes, Iorce creuLed u IIrm ground under LIe IeeL; IL wus unLI-ubsLrucL, und ¡ dId very weII Lo
conceIve Lo myseII, workIng LogeLIer wILI KrIdwIss's IrIends, Iow LIe oId-new wouId In LIIs und
LIuL IIeId sysLemuLIcuIIy LrunsIorm IIIe. TIe pedugogue, Ior InsLunce, knew LIuL In eIemenLury
InsLrucLIon even Loduy LIe Lendency wus Lo depurL Irom LIe prImury IeurnIng oI IeLLers und
sounds und Lo udopL LIe meLIod oI word-IeurnIng; Lo IInk wrILIng wILI concreLe IookIng uL
LIIngs. TIIs meunL In u wuy u depurLure Irom LIe ubsLrucL unIversuI IeLLer-scrIpL, noL bound up
wILI speecI; In u wuy u reLurn Lo LIe word-wrILIng oI eurIIer peopIes. ¡ LIougIL prIvuLeIy: wIy
words unyIow, wIy wrILIng, wIy speecI? RudIcuI objecLIvILy musL sLIck Lo LIIngs und Lo LIem
onIy. And ¡ recuIIed u suLIre oI SwIIL's In wIIcI some Ieurned scIoIurs wILI reIorm gone Lo LIeIr
Ieuds decIded, In order Lo suve LIeIr Iungs und uvoId empLy pIruses, Lo do uwuy uILogeLIer wILI
words und speecI und Lo converse by poInLIng Lo LIe LIIngs LIemseIves, wIIcI In LIe InLeresL oI
undersLundIng were Lo be currIed ubouL on LIe buck In us Iurge numbers us possIbIe. ¡L Is u very
wILLy pIece oI wrILIng: Ior LIe women, LIe musses, und LIe unuIpIubeLIc, LIey IL Is wIo rebeI
uguInsL LIe InnovuLIon und InsIsL on LuIkIng In words. WeII, my InLerIocuLors dId noL go so Iur
wILI LIeIr proposuIs us SwIIL's scIoIurs. TIey wore LIe uIr oI dIsInLeresLed observers, und us
"enorm uischtisch" LIey IIxed LIeIr eyes on LIe generuI reudIness, uIreudy Iur udvunced, Lo drop
ouL oI Iund our so-cuIIed cuILuruI conquesLs jor LIe suke oI u sImpIIIIcuLIon regurded us InevILu-
bIe und LImeIy. One mIgIL, II one cIose, descrIbe IL us deIIberuLe reburburIzuLIon. Wus ¡ Lo LrusL
my eurs? BuL now ¡ Iud Lo IuugI, yeL uL LIe sume LIme wus umuzed wIen LIe genLIemen uL LIIs
poInL cume upon LIe subjecL oj denLuI medIcIne und quILe objecLIveIy begun Lo LuIk ubouL
AdrIun's und my symboIIc musIcuI crILIque oI LIe deud LooLI. ¡ um sure ¡ wenL LIe coIour oI u
Lurkey-cock Ior IuugIIng, wIIIe IIsLenIng Lo u dIscussIon, pursued wILI LIe sume InLeIIecLuuI
suLIsIucLIon us beIore, ubouL LIe growIng Lendency oI denLIsLs Lo puII ouL IorLIwILI uII LeeLI wILI
deud nerves; sInce IL Iud been concIuded - uILer u Iong, puInsLukIng, und reIIned deveIopmenL In
LIe nIneLeenLI-cenLury LecInIque oI rooL LreuLmenL - LIuL LIey were Lo be regurded us InIecLIous
IoreIgn bodIes. Observe - IL wus Dr. BreIsucIer wIo ucuLeIy poInLed LIIs ouL, und meL wILI
generuI ugreemenL - LIuL LIe IygIenIc poInL oI vIew LIereIn represenLed musL be consIdered, In
u wuy, us u ruLIonuIIzuLIon oI LIe IundumenLuI Lendency Lo IeL LIIngs drop, Lo gIve up, Lo geL uwuy,
Lo sImpIIIy. ¡or In u muLLer oI IygIene IL wus quILe In pIuce Lo suspecL un IdeoIogIcuI busIs. TIere
wus no doubL LIuL In LIe IuLure, uILer we Iud begun Lo prucLIse u Iurge-scuIe eIImInuLIon oI LIe
unIIL, LIe dIseused und weuk-mInded, we wouId jusLIIy LIe poIIcy by sImIIur IygIenIc urgumenLs
Ior LIe purIIIcuLIon oI socIeLy und LIe ruce. WIereus In reuIILy - none oI LIose presenL denIed,
buL on LIe conLrury ruLIer empIusIzed LIe IucL - LIuL LIe reuI reuson Iuy Iur deeper down, In LIe
renuncIuLIon oI uII LIe Iumune soILness oI LIe bourgeoIs epocI; In un InsLIncLIve seII-prepuruLIon
oI IumunILy Ior IursI und sInIsLer LImes wIIcI mocked our Iumuns IdeuIs; Ior un uge oI over-uII
wurs und revoIuLIons wIIcI wouId probubIy Luke us buck Iur beIInd LIe CIrIsLIun cIvIIIzuLIon oI
LIe MIddIe Ages; In u reLurn Lo LIe durk eru beIore IL urose uILer LIe coIIupse oI LIe cIussIc
cuILure...

CHAPTIR XXXIV {conclosion)
¡L wIII perIups be grunLed LIuL u mun IubourIng Lo dIgesL sucI noveILIes us LIese mIgIL Iose
LweIve pounds' weIgIL. CerLuInIy ¡ sIouId noL Iuve IosL LIem II ¡ Iud noL Luken serIousIy my
experIences uL LIe KrIdwIss sessIons, buL Iud sLood IIrm In LIe convIcLIon LIuL LIese genLIemen
were LuIkIng nonsense. However, LIuL wus noL In LIe IeusL LIe wuy ¡ IeIL. ¡ dId noL Ior u momenL
conceuI Irom myseII LIuL wILI un ucuILy worLIy oI noLe LIey Iud IuId LIeIr IIngers on LIe puIse oI
LIe LIme und were prognosLIcuLIng uccordIngIy. BuL ¡ musL repeuL LIuL ¡ sIouId Iuve been so end-
IessIy gruLeIuI, und perIups sIouId Iuve IosL onIy sIx pounds InsLeud oI LweIve, II LIey LIemseIves
Iud been more uIurmed over LIeIr IIndIngs or Iud opposed Lo LIem u IILLIe eLIIcuI crILIcIsm. TIey
mIgIL Iuve suId: UnIuppIIy IL Iooks us LIougI LIIngs wouId IoIIow LIIs und LIIs course.
ConsequenLIy one musL Luke sLeps Lo wurn peopIe oI wIuL Is comIng und do one's besL Lo prevenL
IL. BuL wIuL In u wuy LIey were suyIng wus: ¡L Is comIng, IL Is comIng, und wIen IL Is Iere IL wIII
IInd us on LIe cresL oI LIe momenL. ¡L Is InLeresLIng, IL Is even good, sImpIy by vIrLue oI beIng
wIuL Is InevILubIy goIng Lo be, und Lo recognIze IL Is suIIIcIenL oI un ucIIevemenL und suLIsIucLIon.
¡L Is noL our uIIuIr Lo go on Lo do unyLIIng uguInsL IL. - TIus LIese Ieurned genLIemen, In prIvuLe.
BuL LIuL ubouL LIe suLIsIucLIon oI recognIzIng IL wus u Iruud. TIey sympuLIIzed wILI wIuL LIey
recognIzed; wILIouL LIIs sympuLIy LIey couId noL Iuve recognIzed IL. TIuL wus LIe wIoIe poInL,
und becuuse oI IL, In my IrrILuLIon und nervous excILemenL, ¡ IosL weIgIL.
No, uII LIuL Is noL quILe rIgIL. MereIy LIrougI my conscIenLIous vIsILs Lo LIe KrIdwIss group
und LIe Ideus Lo wIIcI ¡ deIIberuLeIy exposed myseII, ¡ sIouId noL Iuve goL LIInner by LweIve
pounds or even IuII us mucI. ¡ sIouId never Iuve Luken uII LIuL speecIIIyIng Lo IeurL II IL Iud noL
consLILuLed u coId-bIooded InLeIIecLuuI commenLury upon u IervId experIence oI urL und IrIend-
sIIp: ¡ meun LIe bIrLI oI u work oI urL very neur Lo me, neur LIrougI ILs creuLor, noL LIrougI
ILseII, LIuL ¡ muy noL suy, Ior Loo mucI beIonged Lo IL LIuL wus uIIen und IrIgILIuI Lo my mInd. ¡n
LIuL uII Loo IomeIIke ruruI reLreuL LIere wus beIng buIIL up wILI IeverIsI speed u work wIIcI Iud
u pecuIIur kInsIIp wILI, wus In spIrIL u puruIIeI Lo, LIe LIIngs ¡ Iud Ieurd uL KrIdwIss's LubIe-
round.
AL LIuL LubIe Iud been seL up us LIe order oI LIe duy u crILIque oI LrudILIon wIIcI wus LIe resuIL
oI LIe desLrucLIon oI IIvIng vuIues Iong regurded us InvIoIubIe. TIe commenL Iud been expIIcILIy
mude - ¡ do noL recuII by wIom, BreIsucIer, UnruIe, HoIzscIuIer? - LIuL sucI crILIcIsm musL
oI necessILy Lurn uguInsL LrudILIonuI urL-Iorms und specIes, Ior InsLunce uguInsL LIe uesLIeLIc
LIeuLre, wIIcI Iud IuIn wILIIn LIe bourgeoIs cIrcIe oI IIIe und wus u concern oI cuILure. Yes. And
rIgIL LIere beIore my very eyes wus LukIng pIuce LIe pussIng oI LIe drumuLIc Iorm InLo LIe epIc,
LIe musIc drumu wus cIungIng Lo oruLorIo, LIe operuLIc drumu Lo operuLIc cunLuLu - und Indeed
In u spIrIL, u IundumenLuI sLuLe oI mInd, wIIcI ugreed very precIseIy wILI LIe deroguLory judg-
menLs oI my IeIIow-LuIkers In LIe MurLIussLrusse ubouL LIe posILIon oI LIe IndIvIduuI und uII
IndIvIduuIIsm In LIe worId. ¡L wus, ¡ wIII suy, u sLuLe oI mInd wIIcI, no Ionger InLeresLed In LIe
psycIoIogIcuI, pressed Ior LIe objecLIve, Ior u Iunguuge LIuL expressed LIe ubsoIuLe, LIe bIndIng
und compuIsory, und In consequence by cIoIce IuId on ILseII LIe pIous IeLLers oI pre-cIussIcuIIy
sLrIcL Iorm. How oILen In my sLruIned observuLIon oI AdrIun's ucLIvILy ¡ wus Iorced Lo remember
LIe eurIy ImpressIons we boys Iud goL Irom LIuL voIubIe sLuLLerer, IIs LeucIer, wILI IIs unLILIesIs
oI "IurmonIc subjecLIvILy" und "poIypIonIc objecLIvILy"! TIe Lruck round LIe spIere, oI wIIcI
LIere Iud been LuIk In LIose LorLurIngIy cIever conversuLIons uL KrIdwIss's, LIIs Lruck, on wIIcI
regress und progress, LIe oId und LIe new, pusL und IuLure, becume one - ¡ suw IL uII reuIIzed
Iere, In u regressIon IuII oI modern noveILy, goIng buck beyond BucI's und HundeI's IurmonIc
urL Lo LIe remoLer pusL oI Lrue poIypIony.
¡ Iuve preserved u IeLLer wIIcI AdrIun senL Lo me uL LIuL LIme Lo ¡reIsIng Irom PIeIIIerIng,
wIere Ie wus uL work on LIe Iymn oI "u greuL muILILude, wIIcI no mun couId number, oI uII
nuLIons, und kIndreds, und peopIe, und Longues, sLundIng beIore LIe LIrone und beIore LIe
¡umb" (see Durer's sevenLI sIeeL). TIe IeLLer usked me Lo vIsIL IIm, und IL wus sIgned PeroLInus
Mugnus; u suggesLIve joke und pIuyIuI IdenLIIIcuLIon IuII oI seII-mockery, Ior LIIs PeroLInus wus
In cIurge oI cIurcI musIc uL NoLre Dume In LIe LweIILI cenLury, u composer wIose dIrecLIons
conLrIbuLed Lo LIe deveIopmenL oI LIe young urL oI poIypIony. TIe jesLIng sIgnuLure vIvIdIy
remInded me oI u sImIIur one oI RIcIurd Wugner, wIo uL LIe LIme oI Pcrsijcl udded Lo IIs nume
sIgned Lo u IeLLer LIe LILIe "Member oI LIe HIgI ConsIsLory." ¡or u mun wIo Is noL un urLIsL LIe
quesLIon Is InLrIguIng: Iow serIous Is LIe urLIsL In wIuL ougIL Lo be, und seems, IIs mosL pressIng
und eurnesL concern; Iow serIousIy does Ie Luke IImseII In IL, und Iow mucI LIred
dIsIIIusIonmenL, uIIecLuLIon, IIIppunL sense oI LIe rIdIcuIous Is uL work? ¡I LIe query were
unjusLIIIed, Iow LIen couId LIuL greuL musLer oI LIe musIcuI LIeuLre, uL work on LIIs IIs mosL
consecruLed Lusk, Iuve mocked IImseII wILI sucI u LILIe? ¡ IeIL mucI LIe sume uL sIgIL oI AdrIun's
sIgnuLure. Yes, my quesLIonIng, my concern und unxIeLy wenL IurLIer und In LIe sIIence oI my
IeurL deuIL wILI LIe IegILImucy oI IIs ucLIvILy, IIs cIuIm In LIme Lo LIe spIere InLo wIIcI Ie Iud
pIunged, LIe re-creuLIon oI wIIcI Ie pursued uL uII cosLs und wILI LIe mosL deveIoped meuns. ¡n
sIorL, ¡ wus consumed wILI IovIng und unxIous suspIcIon oI un uesLIeLIcIsm wIIcI my IrIend's
suyIng: "LIe unLILIesIs oI bourgeoIs cuILure Is noL burburIsm, buL coIIecLIvIsm," ubundoned Lo LIe
mosL LormenLIng doubLs.
Here no one cun IoIIow me wIo Ius noL us ¡ Iuve experIenced In IIs very souI Iow neur
uesLIeLIcIsm und burburIsm ure Lo eucI oLIer: uesLIeLIcIsm us LIe IeruId oI burburIsm. ¡
experIenced LIIs dIsLress cerLuInIy noL Ior myseII buL In LIe IIgIL oI my IrIendsIIp Ior u beIoved
und emperIIIed urLIsL souI. TIe revIvuI oI rILuuI musIc Irom u proIune epocI Ius ILs dungers. ¡L
served Indeed LIe ends oI LIe CIurcI, dId IL noL? BuL beIore LIuL IL Iud served Iess cIvIIIzed ones,
LIe ends oI LIe medIcIne-mun, mugIc ends. TIuL wus In LImes wIen uII ceIesLIuI uIIuIrs were In
LIe Iunds oI LIe prIesL-medIcIne-mun, LIe prIesL-wIzurd. Cun IL be denIed LIuL LIIs wus u pre-
cuILuruI, u burburIc condILIon oI cuIL-urL; und Is IL compreIensIbIe or noL LIuL LIe IuLe und
cuILuruI revIvuI oI LIe cuIL In urL, wIIcI uIms by uLomIzuLIon Lo urrIve uL coIIecLIvIsm, seIzes upon
meuns LIuL beIong Lo u sLuge oI cIvIIIzuLIon noL onIy prIesLIy buL prImILIve? TIe enormous
dIIIIcuILIes wIIcI every reIeursuI und perIormunce oI ¡everküIn's Apocclçpse presenLs, Iuve dI-
recLIy Lo do wILI uII LIuL. You Iuve LIere ensembIes wIIcI begIn us "speukIng" cIoruses und onIy
by sLuges, by LIe wuy oI LIe mosL exLruordInury LrunsILIons, Lurn InLo LIe rIcIesL vocuI musIc;
LIen cIoruses wIIcI puss LIrougI uII LIe sLuges Irom gruded wIIsperIngs, unLIpIonuI speecI,
und IummIng up Lo LIe mosL poIypIonIc song - uccompunIed by sounds wIIcI begIn us mere
noIse, IIke Lom-Loms und LIunderIng gongs, suvuge, IunuLIcuI, rILuuI, und end by urrIvIng uL LIe
puresL musIc. How oILen Ius LIIs InLImIduLIng work, In ILs urge Lo reveuI In LIe Iunguuge oI musIc
LIe mosL IIdden LIIngs, LIe beusL In mun us weII us IIs subIImesL sLIrrIngs, Incurred LIe reproucI
boLI oI bIood-boILered burburIsm und oI bIoodIess InLeIIecLuuIILy! ¡ suy Incurred; Ior ILs Ideu, In u
wuy, Is Lo Luke In LIe IIIe-IIsLory oI musIc, Irom ILs pre-musIcuI, mugIc, rIyLImIcuI, eIemenLury
sLuge Lo ILs mosL compIex consummuLIon; und LIus IL does perIups expose ILseII Lo sucI
reproucIes noL onIy In purL buL us u wIoIe.
¡eL me gIve un IIIusLruLIon LIuL Ius uIwuys been LIe LurgeL oI scorn und IuLred, und Ience LIe
specIuI objecL oI my puInIuI Iumun IeeIIng. BuL IIrsL ¡ musL go buck u IILLIe. We uII know LIuL IL
wus LIe eurIIesL concern, LIe IIrsL conquesL oI LIe musIcIun Lo rId sound oI ILs ruw und prImILIve
IeuLures, Lo IIx Lo one sIngIe noLe LIe sIngIng wIIcI In prImevuI LImes musL Iuve been u IowIIng
gIIssundo over severuI noLes, und Lo wIn Irom cIuos u musIcuI sysLem. CerLuInIy und oI course:
orderIng und normuIIzIng LIe noLes wus LIe condILIon und IIrsL seII-munIIesLuLIon oI wIuL we
undersLund by musIc. SLuck LIere, so Lo speuk, u nuLuruIIsLIc uLuvIsm, u burburIc rudImenL Irom
pre-musIcuI duys, Is LIe gIIdIng voIce, LIe gIIssundo, u devIce Lo be used wILI LIe greuLesL
resLruInL on proIoundIy cuILuruI grounds; ¡ Iuve uIwuys been IncIIned Lo sense In IL un unLI-
cuILuruI, unLI-Iumun uppeuI. WIuL ¡ Iuve In mInd Is ¡everküIn's preIerence Ior LIe gIIssundo. OI
course "preIerence" Is noL LIe rIgIL word; ¡ onIy meun LIuL uL IeusL In LIIs work, LIe Apocclçpse,
Ie mukes excepLIonuIIy IrequenL use oI IL, und cerLuInIy LIese Imuges oI Lerror oIIer u mosL
LempLIng und uL LIe sume LIme mosL IegILImuLe occusIon Ior LIe empIoymenL oI LIuL suvuge
devIce. ¡n LIe pIuce wIere LIe Iour voIces oI LIe uILur order LIe IeLLIng Ioose oI LIe Iour uvengIng
ungeIs, wIo mow down rIder und sLeed, Emperor und Pope, und u LIIrd oI munkInd, Iow
LerrIIyIng Is LIe eIIecL oI LIe Lrombone gIIssundos wIIcI Iere represenL LIe LIeme! TIIs
desLrucLIve sIIdIng LIrougI LIe seven posILIons oI LIe InsLrumenL! TIe LIeme represenLed by
IowIIng - wIuL Iorror! And wIuL ucousLIc punIc resuILs Irom LIe repeuLed drum-gIIssundos, un
eIIecL mude possIbIe on LIe cIromuLIc or mucIIne drum by cIungIng LIe LunIng Lo vurIous
pILcIes durIng LIe drum-roII. TIe eIIecL Is exLremeIy uncunny. BuL mosL sIuLLerIng oI uII Is LIe
uppIIcuLIon oI LIe gIIssundo Lo LIe Iumun voIce, wIIcI uILer uII wus LIe IIrsL LurgeL In orgunIzIng
LIe LonIc muLerIuI und rIddIng song oI ILs prImILIve IowIIng over severuI noLes: LIe reLurn, In
sIorL, Lo LIIs prImILIve sLuge, us LIe cIorus oI LIe Apocclçpse does IL In LIe Iorm oI IrIgILIuIIy
sIrIekIng Iumun voIces uL LIe openIng oI LIe sevenLI seuI, wIen LIe sun becume bIuck und LIe
moon becume us bIood und LIe sIIps ure overLurned.
¡ muy be uIIowed Iere Lo suy u word on LIe LreuLmenL oI LIe cIorus In my IrIend's work: LIIs
never beIore uLLempLed breukIng-up oI LIe cIoruI voIces InLo groups boLI InLerweuvIng wILI und
sIngIng uguInsL eucI oLIer; InLo u sorL oI drumuLIc dIuIogue und InLo sIngIe crIes wIIcI, Lo be
sure, Iuve LIeIr dIsLunL cIussIc modeI In LIe crusIIng unswer "Burrubum!" oI LIe St. Mcttheu
Pcssion. TIe Apocclçpse Ius no orcIesLruI InLerIudes; buL InsLeud LIe cIorus more LIun once
ucIIeves u murked und usLonIsIIng orcIesLruI eIIecL: LIus In LIe cIoruI vurIuLIons wIIcI
represenL LIe pueun oI LIe Iundred und IorLy-Iour LIousund redeemed, IIIIIng LIe Ieuvens wILI
LIeIr voIces, Iere LIe Iour cIoruI purLs sImpIy sIng In LIe sume rIyLIm, wIIIe LIe orcIesLru udds
Lo und seLs uguInsL LIem LIe rIcIesL, mosL vurIed und conLrusLIng ones. TIe exLremeIy IursI
cIusIes produced by LIe purL-wrILIng In LIIs pIece (und noL Iere uIone) Iuve oIIered mucI
occusIon Ior spILeIuI jeers. BuL so IL Is: so musL one uccepL IL; und ¡ uL IeusL do so, consenLIng II
umuzed. TIe wIoIe work Is domInuLed by LIe purudox (II IL Is u purudox) LIuL In IL dIssonunce
sLunds Ior LIe expressIon oI everyLIIng IoILy, soIemn, pIous, everyLIIng oI LIe spIrIL; wIIIe
consonunce und IIrm LonuIILy ure reserved Ior LIe worId oI IeII, In LIIs conLexL u worId oI bunuIILy
und commonpIuce.
BuL ¡ wunLed Lo suy someLIIng eIse: ¡ wunLed Lo poInL ouL LIe sInguIur InLercIunge wIIcI oILen
Lukes pIuce beLween LIe voIces und LIe orcIesLru. CIorus und orcIesLru ure Iere noL cIeurIy sepu-
ruLed Irom eucI oLIer us symboIs oI LIe Iumun und LIe muLerIuI worId; LIey merge InLo eucI
oLIer, LIe cIorus Is "InsLrumenLuIIzed," LIe orcIesLru us IL were "vocuIIzed," Lo LIuL degree und Lo
LIuL end LIuL LIe boundury beLween mun und LIIng seems sIIILed: un udvunLuge, sureIy, Lo
urLIsLIc unILy, yeL - uL IeusL Ior my IeeIIng- LIere Is ubouL IL someLIIng oppressIve, dungerous,
muIIgnunL. A Iew deLuIIs: LIe purL oI LIe "WIore oI BubyIon, LIe Womun on LIe BeusL, wILI
wIom LIe kIngs oI LIe eurLI Iuve commILLed IornIcuLIon," Is, surprIsIngIy enougI, u mosL
gruceIuI coIoruLuru oI greuL vIrLuosILy; ILs brIIIIunL runs bIend uL LImes wILI LIe orcIesLru exucLIy
IIke u IIuLe. On LIe oLIer Iund, LIe muLed LrumpeL suggesLs u groLesque vox Iumunu, us does uIso
LIe suxopIone, wIIcI pIuys u conspIcuous purL In severuI oI LIe smuII cIumber orcIesLrus wIIcI
uccompuny LIe sIngIng oI LIe devIIs, LIe sIumeIuI round oI song by LIe sons oI LIe PIL. AdrIun's
cupucILy Ior mockIng ImILuLIon, wIIcI wus rooLed deep In LIe meIuncIoIy oI IIs beIng, becume
creuLIve Iere In LIe purody oI LIe dIIIerenL musIcuI sLyIes In wIIcI LIe InsIpId wunLonness oI IeII
InduIges: ¡rencI ImpressIonIsm Is burIesqued, uIong wILI bourgeoIs druwIng-room musIc,
TcIuIkovsky, musIc-IuII, LIe syncopuLIons und rIyLImIc somersuuILs oI juzz - IIke u LIILIng-rIng
IL goes round und round, guIIy gIILLerIng, ubove LIe IundumenLuI uLLerunce oI LIe muIn orcIesLru,
wIIcI, gruve, sombre, und compIex, usserLs wILI rudIcuI severILy LIe InLeIIecLuuI IeveI oI LIe work
us u wIoIe.
¡orwurd! ¡ Iuve sLIII so mucI on my IeurL ubouL LIIs scurceIy opened LesLumenL oI my IrIend;
IL seems Lo me ¡ sIuII do besL Lo go on, sLuLIng my opInIons In LIe IIgIL oI LIuL reproucI wIose
pIuusIbIIILy ¡ udmIL LIougI ¡ wouId bILe my Longue ouL sooner LIun recognIze ILs jusLIce: LIe
reproucI oI burburIsm. ¡L Ius been IeveIIed uL LIe cIurucLerIsLIc IeuLure oI LIe work, ILs
combInuLIon oI very new und very oId; buL sureIy LIIs Is by no meuns un urbILrury combInuLIon;
ruLIer IL IIes In LIe nuLure oI LIIngs: IL resLs, ¡ mIgIL suy, on LIe curvuLure oI LIe worId, wIIcI
mukes LIe IusL reLurn unLo LIe IIrsL. TIus LIe eIder urL dId noL know rIyLIm us musIc IuLer
undersLood IL. Song wus seL uccordIng Lo LIe meLrIcuI Iuws oI speecI, IL dId noL run urLIcuIuLed by
burs und musIcuI perIods; ruLIer IL obeyed LIe spIrIL oI Iree recILuLIon. And Iow Is IL wILI LIe
rIyLIm oI our, LIe IuLesL, musIc? Hus IL Loo noL moved neurer Lo u verbuI uccenL? Hus IL noL been
reIuxed by un excessIve IIexIbIIILy? ¡n BeeLIoven LIere ure uIreudy movemenLs oI u rIyLImIc
Ireedom IoresIudowIng LIIngs Lo come - u Ireedom wIIcI In ¡everküIn Is compIeLe buL Ior IIs
bur-IInes, wIIcI, us un IronIcuIIy conservuLIve convenLIonuI IeuLure, Ie sLIII reLuIned. BuL wILIouL
regurd Lo symmeLry, und IILLed excIusIveIy Lo LIe verbuI uccenL, LIe rIyLIm ucLuuIIy cIunges Irom
bur Lo bur. ¡ spoke oI ImpressIons. TIere ure ImpressIons wIIcI, unImporLunL us LIey seem Lo LIe
reuson, work on In LIe subconscIous mInd und LIere exercIse u decIsIve InIIuence. So IL wus now:
LIe IIgure oI LIuL queer IIsI ucross LIe oceun und IIs urbILrury, Ingenuous musIcuI ucLIvILy, oI
wIom unoLIer queer IIsI, AdrIun's LeucIer, Iud LoId us In our youLI, und ubouL wIom my
compunIon expressed IImseII wILI sucI spIrILed upprovuI us we wuIked Iome LIuL nIgIL: LIe
IIgure und LIe IIsLory oI JoIunn Conrud BeIsseI wus sucI un ImpressIon. WIy sIouId ¡ beIuve us
LIougI ¡ Iud noL uIreudy, Iong ugo und repeuLedIy LIougIL oI LIuL sLrIcL scIooImusLer und
begInner In LIe urL oI song, uL EpIruLu ucross LIe seu? A wIoIe worId IIes beLween IIs nuIve
unubusIed LIeory und LIe work oI ¡everküIn, pusIed Lo LIe very IImILs oI musIcuI erudILIon,
LecInIque, InLeIIecLuuIILy. And yeL Ior me, LIe undersLundIng IrIend, LIe spIrIL oI LIe InvenLor oI
LIe "musLer" und "servunL" noLes und oI musIcuI Iymn-recILuLIon moves gIosLIIke In IL.
Do ¡, wILI LIese personuI InLerpoIuLIons, conLrIbuLe unyLIIng wIIcI wIII expIuIn LIuL reproucI
wIIcI IurLs me so, wIIcI ¡ seek Lo InLerpreL wILIouL mukIng LIe smuIIesL concessIon Lo IL: LIe re-
proucI oI burburIsm? ¡L Ius probubIy more Lo do wILI u cerLuIn LoucI, IIke un Icy IInger, oI muss-
modernILy In LIIs work oI reIIgIous vIsIon, wIIcI knows LIe LIeoIogIcuI uImosL excIusIveIy us
judgmenL und Lerror: u LoucI oI "sLreumIIne," Lo venLure LIe InsuILIng word. Tuke LIe testis, LIe
wILness und nurruLor oI LIe IorrId IuppenIngs: LIe "¡, JoIunnes," LIe descrIber oI LIe beusLs oI
LIe ubyss, wILI LIe Ieuds oI IIons, cuIves, men, und eugIes - LIIs purL, by LrudILIon ussIgned Lo u
Lenor, Is Iere gIven Lo u Lenor Indeed buL one oI uImosL cusLruLo-IIke IIgI regIsLer, wIose cIIIIy
crow, objecLIve, reporLerIIke, sLunds In LerrIIyIng conLrusL Lo LIe conLenL oI IIs cuLusLropIIc
unnouncemenLs. WIen In 1qz6 uL LIe IesLIvuI oI LIe ¡nLernuLIonuI SocIeLy Ior New MusIc uL
¡runkIurL LIe Apocclçpse Iud ILs IIrsL und so Iur ILs IusL perIormunce (under KIemperer) LIIs
exLremeIy dIIIIcuIL purL wus Luken und sung In musLerIy IusIIon by u Lenor wILI LIe voIce oI u
eunucI, numed Erbe, wIose pIercIng communIcuLIons dId ucLuuIIy sound IIke "¡uLesL News oI
WorId DesLrucLIon." TIuL wus uILogeLIer In LIe spIrIL oI LIe work, LIe sInger Iud wILI LIe
greuLesL InLeIIIgence grusped LIe Ideu. - Or Luke us unoLIer exumpIe oI eusy LecInIcuI IucIIILy In
Iorror, LIe eIIecL oI beIng uL Iome In IL: ¡ meun LIe Ioud-speuker eIIecLs (In un oruLorIo!) wIIcI
LIe composer Ius IndIcuLed In vurIous pIuces und wIIcI ucIIeve un oLIerwIse never reuIIzed
gruduLIon In LIe voIume und dIsLunce oI LIe musIcuI sound: oI sucI u kInd LIuL by meuns oI LIe
Ioud-speuker some purLs ure brougIL InLo promInence, wIIIe oLIers recede us dIsLunL cIoruses
und orcIesLrus. AguIn LIInk oI LIe juzz - cerLuInIy very IncIdenLuI - used Lo suggesL LIe pureIy
InIernuI eIemenL: one wIII beur wILI me Ior mukIng bILLer uppIIcuLIon oI LIe expressIon
"sLreumIIned" Ior u. work wIIcI, judged by ILs InLeIIecLuuI und psycIoIogIcuI busIc mood, Ius
more Lo do wILI KuIsersuscIern LIun wILI modern sIIckness und wIIcI ¡ um IuIn Lo cIurucLerIze
us u dynumIc urcIuIsm.
SouIIessness! ¡ weII know LIIs Is uL boLLom wIuL LIey meun wIo uppIy LIe word "burburIc" Lo
AdrIun's creuLIon. Huve LIey ever, even II onIy wILI LIe reudIng eye, Ieurd cerLuIn IyrIcuI purLs -
or muy ¡ onIy suy momenLs? - oI LIe Apocclçpse: song pussuges uccompunIed by u cIumber
orcIesLru, wIIcI couId brIng Leurs Lo LIe eyes oI u mun more cuIIous LIun ¡ um, sInce LIey ure
IIke u IervId pruyer Ior u souI. ¡ sIuII be IorgIven Ior un urgumenL more or Iess InLo LIe bIue; buL
Lo cuII souIIessness LIe yeurnIng Ior u souI - LIe yeurnIng oI LIe IILLIe seu-muId - LIuL Is wIuL ¡
wouId cIurucLerIze us burburIsm, us InIumunILy!
¡ wrILe IL down In u mood oI seII-deIence; und unoLIer emoLIon seIzes me: LIe memory oI LIuL
pundemonIum oI IuugILer, oI IeIIIsI merrImenL wIIcI, brIeI buL IorrIbIe, Iorms LIe end oI LIe
IIrsL purL oI LIe Apocclçpse. ¡ IuLe, Iove, und Ieur IL; Ior - muy ¡ be purdoned Ior LIIs uII Loo
personuI excuse? - ¡ Iuve uIwuys Ieured AdrIun's proneness Lo IuugILer, never been ubIe, IIke
RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, Lo pIuy u good second Lo IL; und LIe sume Ieur, LIe sume sIrInkIng und
mIsgIvIng uwkwurdness ¡ IeeI uL LIIs geIennun guudIum, sweepIng LIrougI IIILy burs, begInnIng
wILI LIe cIuckIe oI u sIngIe voIce und rupIdIy guInIng ground, embrucIng cIoIr und orcIesLru,
IrIgILIuIIy sweIIIng In rIyLImIc upIeuvuIs und conLrury moLIons Lo u IorLIssImo LuLLI, un
overwIeImIng, surdonIcuIIy yeIIIng, screecIIng, buwIIng, bIeuLIng, IowIIng, pIpIng, wIInnyIng
suIvo, LIe mockIng, exuILIng IuugILer oI LIe PIL. So mucI do ¡ sIudder uL LIIs epIsode In und Ior
ILseII, und LIe wuy IL sLunds ouL by reuson oI ILs posILIon In LIe wIoIe, LIIs IurrIcune oI IeIIIsI
merrImenL, LIuL ¡ couId IurdIy Iuve brougIL myseII Lo speuk oI IL II IL were noL LIuL Iere,
precIseIy Iere, Is reveuIed Lo me, In u wuy Lo muke my IeurL sLop beuLIng, LIe proIoundesL
mysLery oI LIIs musIc, wIIcI Is u mysLery oI IdenLILy.
¡or LIIs IeIIIsI IuugILer uL LIe end oI LIe IIrsL purL Ius ILs pendunL In LIe LruIy exLruordInury
cIorus oI cIIIdren wIIcI, uccompunIed by u cIumber orcIesLru, opens LIe second purL: u pIece oI
cosmIc musIc oI LIe spIeres, IcIIy cIeur, gIussIIy LrunspurenL, oI brILLIe dIssonunces Indeed, buL
wILIuI oI un - ¡ wouId IIke Lo suy - InuccessIbIy uneurLIIy und uIIen beuuLy oI sound, IIIIIng LIe
IeurL wILI IongIng wILIouL Iope. And LIIs pIece, wIIcI Ius won, LoucIed, und ruvIsIed even LIe
reIucLunL, Is In ILs musIcuI essence, Ior IIm wIo Ius eurs Lo Ieur und eyes Lo see, LIe devII's
IuugILer uII over uguIn. EverywIere Is AdrIun ¡everküIn greuL In mukIng unIIke LIe IIke. One
knows IIs wuy oI modIIyIng rIyLImIcuIIy u IuguI subjecL uIreudy In ILs IIrsL unswer, In sucI u wuy
LIuL despILe u sLrIcL preservuLIon oI ILs LIemuLIc essence IL Is us repeLILIon no Ionger recognIzubIe.
So Iere - buL nowIere eIse us Iere Is LIe eIIecL so proIound, mysLerIous und greuL. Every word
LIuL Lurns InLo sound LIe Ideu oI Beyond, oI LrunsIormuLIon In LIe mysLIcuI sense, und LIus oI
cIunge, LrunsIormuLIon, LrunsIIguruLIon, Is Iere exucLIy reproduced. TIe pussuges oI Iorror jusL
beIore Ieurd ure gIven, Indeed, Lo LIe IndescrIbubIe cIIIdren's cIorus uL quILe u dIIIerenL pILcI,
und In cIunged orcIesLruLIon und rIyLIms; buL In LIe seurIng, susurrunL Lones oI spIeres und
ungeIs LIere Is noL one noLe wIIcI does noL occur, wILI rIgId correspondence, In LIe IeIIIsI
IuugILer.
TIuL Is AdrIun ¡everküIn. ULLerIy. TIuL Is LIe musIc Ie represenLs; und LIuL correspondence Is
ILs proIound sIgnIIIcunce, cuIcuIuLIon ruIsed Lo mysLery. TIus Iove wILI puInIuI dIscrImInuLIon
Ius LuugIL me Lo see LIIs musIc, LIougI In uccordunce wILI my own sImpIe nuLure ¡ wouId
perIups Iuve been gIud Lo see IL oLIerwIse.

CHAPTIR XXXV
TIe new numeruI sLunds uL LIe Ieud oI u cIupLer LIuL wIII reporL u deuLI, u Iumun cuLusLropIe
In LIe cIrcIe round my IrIend. And yeL, my God, wIuL cIupLer, wIuL senLence, wIuL word LIuL ¡
Iuve wrILLen Ius noL been pervuded by LIe cuLusLropIIc, wIen LIuL Ius become LIe uIr we
breuLIe! WIuL word dId noL sIuke, us onIy Loo oILen LIe Iund LIuL wroLe IL, wILI LIe vIbruLIons
noL uIone oI LIe cuLusLropIe Lowurds wIIcI my sLory sLrIves buL sImuILuneousIy oI LIuL cuLucIysm
In wIose sIgn LIe worId - uL IeusL LIe bourgeoIs, LIe Iumun worId - sLunds Loduy?
Here we sIuII be deuIIng wILI u prIvuLe, Iumun dIsusLer, scurceIy noLed by LIe pubIIc. To IL
muny IucLors conLrIbuLed: muscuIIne ruscuIILy, IemInIne IruIILy, IemInIne prIde und proIessIonuI
unsuccess. ¡L Is LwenLy-Lwo yeurs sInce, uImosL beIore my eyes, CIurIssu Rodde LIe ucLress, sIsLer
oI LIe jusL us obvIousIy doomed ¡nez, wenL Lo Ier deuLI: uL LIe end oI LIe wInLer seuson oI 1qz1-
z, In LIe monLI oI Muy, uL PIeIIIerIng In Ier moLIer's Iouse und wILI scunL consIderuLIon Ior LIuL
moLIer's IeeIIngs, wILI rusI und resoIuLe Iund sIe Look Ier IIIe, usIng LIe poIson LIuL sIe Iud
Iong kepL In reudIness Ior LIe momenL wIen Ier prIde couId no Ionger endure Lo IIve.
¡ wIII reIuLe In Iew words LIe evenLs wIIcI Ied Lo LIe IrIgILIuI deed, so sIuLLerIng Lo us uII
LIougI uL boLLom we couId IurdIy condemn IL, LogeLIer wILI LIe cIrcumsLunces under wIIcI IL
wus commILLed. ¡ Iuve uIreudy menLIoned LIuL Ier MunIcI LeucIer's wurnIngs Iud proved uII Loo
weII Iounded: CIurIssu's urLIsLIc cureer Iud noL In LIe course oI yeurs rIsen Irom IowIy provIncIuI
begInnIngs Lo more respecLubIe und dIgnIIIed IeIgILs. ¡rom EIbIng In EusL PrussIu sIe wenL Lo
PIorzIeIm In Buden - In oLIer words sIe udvunced noL uL uII or very IILLIe, LIe Iurger LIeuLres oI
LIe ReIcI guve Ier noL u LIougIL. SIe wus u IuIIure or uL IeusL IuckIng uny genuIne success, Ior LIe
sImpIe reuson, so Iurd Ior LIe person concerned Lo grusp, LIuL Ier nuLuruI LuIenL wus noL equuI Lo
Ier umbILIon. No genuIne LIeuLre bIood guve body Lo Ier knowIedge or Ier Iopes or won Ior Ier
LIe mInds und IeurLs oI LIe conLrurIous pubIIc. SIe Iucked LIe prImILIve busIs, LIuL wIIcI In uII
urL Is LIe decIsIve LIIng buL mosL oI uII In LIe urL oI LIe ucLor - wIeLIer LIuL be Lo LIe Ionour or
LIe dIsIonour oI urL und In purLIcuIur LIe urL oI LIe sLuge.
TIere wus unoLIer IucLor wIIcI udded Lo CIurIssu's emoLIonuI conIusIon. As ¡ Iud Iong beIore
observed wILI regreL, sIe dId noL muke u cIeur dIsLIncLIon beLween Ier sLuge IIIe und Ier reuI one.
PossIbIy jusL becuuse sIe wus no Lrue ucLress, sIe pIuyed ucLress even ouLsIde LIe LIeuLre. TIe
personuI und pIysIcuI nuLure oI sLuge urL Ied Ier Lo muke up In prIvuLe IIIe wILI rouge und cos-
meLIcs, exuggeruLed IuIrdressIng und exLruvugunL IuLs: un enLIreIy unnecessury und mIsLuken
seII-drumuLIzuLIon wIIcI uIIecLed Ier IrIends puInIuIIy, InvILed crILIcIsm Irom LIe convenLIonuI,
und encouruged LIe IIcenLIous. AII LIIs wILIouL wIsI or InLenLIon on Ier purL, Ior CIurIssu wus LIe
mosL mockIngIy uIooI, cIusLe, und IIgI-mInded creuLure ImugInubIe, LIougI Ier urmour oI
urrogunce muy weII Iuve been u deIence mecIunIsm uguInsL LIe demunds oI Ier own IemInInILy.
¡I so, sIe wus LIe bIood sIsLer oI ¡nez ¡nsLILorIs, LIe beIoved - or ci-detcnt beIoved - oI RudI
ScIwerdLIeger.
¡n uny cuse, Lo LIuL weII-preserved sIxLy-yeur-oId mun wIo wunLed Lo muke Ier IIs mIsLress,
LIere succeeded LIIs or LIuL un-cIronIcIed LrIIIer wILI Iess soIId prospecLs, or one or unoLIer Iu-
vourubIe crILIc wIo mIgIL Iuve been useIuI Lo Ier buL beIng repuIsed revenged IImseII by
pourIng pubIIc scorn on Ier perIormunce. And IInuIIy IuLe overLook Ier und puL Lo sIume Ier
conLempLuous wuy oI IookIng down Ier nose. ¡L wus u deIeuL LIe more IumenLubIe In LIuL LIe
conqueror oI Ier muIdenIood wus noL uL uII worLIy oI IIs LrIumpI und wus noL even so deemed
by CIurIssu IerseII. He wus u pseudo-MepIIsLopIeIes, u PIorzIeIm peLLIcouL-cIuser, buck-sLuge
Iunger-on und provIncIuI roue, by proIessIon u crImInuI Iuwyer. He wus equIpped Ior conquesL
wILI noLIIng buL u cIeup und cynIcuI eIoquence, IIne IInen, und mucI bIuck IuIr on IIs Iunds.
One evenIng uILer LIe pIuy, probubIy u IILLIe LIe worse Ior wIne, LIe prIckIy buL uL boLLom sIy,
InexperIenced, und deIenceIess creuLure yIeIded Lo IIs prucLIsed LecInIque oI seducLIon und
uILerwurds wus prey Lo LIe mosL scuLIIng seII-conLempL. ¡or LIe beLruyer Iud Indeed been ubIe Lo
cupLure Ier senses Ior LIe momenL buL sIe ucLuuIIy IeIL Ior IIm onIy LIe IuLred IIs LrIumpI
uroused, LogeLIer wILI u cerLuIn usLonIsImenL LIuL sIe, CIurIssu Rodde, couId Iuve been LIus
beLruyed. SIe scornIuIIy rejecLed IIs IurLIer uddresses; buL sIe wus IrIgILened IesL Ie mIgIL
beLruy LIeIr reIuLIon - In IucL Ie wus uIreudy LIreuLenIng Lo do so us u meuns oI brIngIng
pressure.
MeunwIIIe decenL Iumun prospecLs Iud opened Lo LIe gIrI In Ier dIsIIIusIoned und nervous
sLuLe. Among Ier socIuI connecLIons sIe Iud mude LIe ucquuInLunce oI u young AIsuLIun busIness
mun wIo someLImes cume over Irom SLrusbourg Lo PIorzIeIm und Iud IuIIen desperuLeIy In Iove
wILI LIe proud und sLuLeIy bIonde. CIurIssu wus noL uL LIIs LIme enLIreIy wILIouL un engugemenL;
IuvIng remuIned Ior unoLIer seuson uL LIe PIorzIeIm LIeuLre, LIougI onIy In secondury und
unrewurdIng purLs. Even so, LIe re-engugemenL wus due Lo LIe sympuLIy und medIuLIon oI un
eIderIy drumuLIsL, wIo wIIIe scepLIcuI us Lo Ier ucLIng ubIIILIes esLeemed Ier generuI InLeIIecLuuI
und Iumun worLI, wIIcI wus so greuLIy, even dIsudvunLugeousIy superIor Lo LIe uveruge umong
LIe IILLIe sLuge IoIk. PerIups, wIo knows, LIIs mun even Ioved Ier, buL wus Loo mucI resIgned Lo
LIe dIsuppoInLmenLs und dIsIIIusIonmenLs oI IIIe Lo summon up couruge Lo decIure IIs
IncIInuLIon.
AL LIe begInnIng oI LIe new seuson, LIen, CIurIssu meL LIe young mun wIo promIsed Lo rescue
Ier Irom Ier unsuccessIuI cureer und Lo oIIer Ier us IIs wIIe u peuceIuI und secure, yes, weII-
IurnIsIed exIsLence In u spIere sLrunge Lo Ier, Indeed, buL socIuIIy noL uIIen Lo Ier own orIgIns.
WILI unmIsLukubIe joy und Iope, wILI gruLILude, yes, wILI u Lenderness rooLed In Ier gruLILude,
sIe wroLe Lo Ier sIsLer und even Lo Ier moLIer oI HenrI's wooIng und uIso ubouL LIe dIsupprovuI
oI IIs IumIIy. He wus ubouL LIe sume uge us CIurIssu, IIs moLIer's durIIng, IIs IuLIer's busIness
purLner, und uILogeLIer LIe IIgIL oI IIs IumIIy's eyes. He puL IIs cuse Lo LIem wILI urdour und
sLrengLI oI purpose; buL IL wouId Iuve Luken more LIun LIuL Lo overcome uII uL once LIe prejudIce
oI IIs bourgeoIs cIun uguInsL un ILInerunL ucLress und u boche InLo LIe burguIn. HenrI undersLood
IIs IumIIy's concern Ior reIInemenL und good LusLe, LIeIr Ieur LIuL Ie mIgIL be geLLIng enLungIed.
¡L wus noL so eusy Lo convInce LIem LIuL Ie wouId by no meuns be doIng so In brIngIng CIurIssu
Iome; LIe besL wuy wouId be Ior IIm Lo presenL Ier personuIIy Lo IIs IovIng purenLs, jeuIous
broLIers und sIsLers, und prejudIced uunLs, und Lowurds LIIs gouI Ie Iud been workIng Ior weeks,
LIuL LIey mIgIL consenL und urrunge un InLervIew. ¡n reguIur IeLLers und repeuLed LrIps Lo
PIorzIeIm Ie reporLed progress Lo IIs beLroLIed.
CIurIssu wus conIIdenL oI success. Her socIuI equuIILy, onIy cIouded by LIe proIessIon sIe wus
reudy Lo renounce, musL become pIuIn Lo HenrI's unxIous cIun uL u personuI meeLIng. ¡n Ier
IeLLers und durIng u vIsIL sIe mude Lo MunIcI sIe Look Ior grunLed Ier comIng oIIIcIuI beLroLIuI
und LIe IuLure sIe unLIcIpuLed. TIuL IuLure, Lo be sure, Iooked quILe dIIIerenL Irom LIe eurIIer
dreums oI LIIs uprooLed cIIId oI puLrIcIun sLock, sLrIvIng Lowurds InLeIIecLuuI und urLIsLIc gouIs.
BuL now IL wus Ier Iuven, Ier IuppIness: u bourgeoIs IuppIness, wIIcI obvIousIy Iooked more
uccepLubIe becuuse IL possessed LIe cIurm oI noveILy; LIe IoreIgn nuLIonuIILy wus u new Irume
InLo wIIcI sIe wouId be LrunspIunLed. ¡n Iuncy sIe Ieurd Ier IuLure cIIIdren pruLLIIng In ¡rencI.
TIen LIe specLre oI Ier pusL rose up Lo bIusL Ier Iopes. ¡L wus u sLupId, cynIcuI, IgnobIe specLre
buL boId und ruLIIess; und IL puL Ier Lo sIume, IL drove LIe poor souI InLo u corner und brougIL
Ier Lo Ier deuLI. TIuL vIIIuIn Ieurned In LIe Iuw, Lo wIom In u weuk momenL sIe Iud
surrendered, used IIs sIngIe conquesL Lo enIorce Ier. HenrI's IumIIy, HenrI IImseII sIouId Ieurn
oI LIeIr reIuLIon II sIe dId noL yIeId Lo IIm uguIn. ¡rom uII LIuL we IuLer Ieurned, LIere musL Iuve
been desperuLe scenes beLween LIe murderer und IIs vIcLIm. ¡n vuIn LIe gIrI ImpIored IIm - on
Ier knees uL IusL - Lo spure Ier, Lo reIeuse Ier, noL Lo muke Ier puy Ior Ier peuce wILI LIe
beLruyuI oI LIe mun wIo Ioved Ier, wIose Iove sIe reLurned. PrecIseIy LIIs conIessIon roused LIe
wreLcI Lo crueILy. He mude no bones oI suyIng LIuL In gIvIng IerseII Lo IIm now, sIe wus buyIng
peuce onIy Ior LIe momenL, buyIng LIe LrIp Lo SLrusbourg, LIe beLroLIuI. He wouId never reIeuse
Ier: Lo puy IImseII Ior IIs presenL sIIence Ie wouId compeI Ier Lo IIs wIII wIenever Ie cIose. He
wouId speuk ouL us soon us sIe denIed Ier debL. SIe wouId be Iorced Lo IIve In uduILery: u jusL
punIsImenL Ior Ier pIIIIsLInIsm, Ior wIuL LIe wreLcI cuIIed Ier cowurdIy reLreuL InLo bourgeoIs
socIeLy. ¡I uII LIuL wenL wrong, II even wILIouL IIs LreucIery Ier IILLIe brIdegroom Ieurned LIe
LruLI, LIen LIere sLIII remuIned LIe IusL resorL, LIe ouL-crowIng drug wIIcI Ior so Iong sIe Iud
kepL In LIuL objeL d'urL, LIe book wILI LIe deuLI's-Ieud on LIe IId. NoL Ior noLIIng Iud sIe IeIL
superIor Lo IIIe und mude mucubre mock oI IL by Ier possessIon oI LIe HIppocruLIc drug - u
mock LIuL wus more In cIurucLer LIun LIe bourgeoIs peuce LreuLy wILI IIIe Ior wIIcI sIe Iud been
prepurIng.
¡n my opInIon LIe wreLcI, usIde Irom suLIsIyIng IIs IusL, Iud uImed uL Ier deuLI. HIs ubnormuI
vunILy demunded u IemuIe corpse on IIs puLI, Ie ILcIed Lo Iuve u Iumun beIng dIe und perIsI, II
noL precIseIy Ior IIm, yeL on IIs uccounL. AIus, LIuL CIurIssu Iud Lo gruLIIy IIm! SIe suw LIe
sILuuLIon cIeurIy, jusL us ¡ see IL, us we uII Iud Lo see IL. Once uguIn sIe yIeIded, Lo guIn u presenL
peuce, und wus LIereby more LIun ever In IIs power. SIe probubIy LIougIL LIuL once uccepLed by
LIe IumIIy, once murrIed Lo HenrI und suIe In unoLIer counLry, sIe wouId IInd wuys und meuns Lo
deIy Ier oppressor. ¡L wus noL Lo be. ObvIousIy Ier LormenLor Iud mude up IIs mInd noL Lo IeL
muLLers go us Iur us murrIuge. An unonymous IeLLer reIerrIng In LIe LIIrd person Lo CIurIssu's
Iover dId ILs work wILI HenrI und IIs SLrusbourg IumIIy. He senL IL Lo Ier LIuL sIe mIgIL, II
possIbIe, deny IL. HIs uccompunyIng IeLLer dId noL precIseIy dIspIuy un unsIukubIe IuILI und Iove.
CIurIssu receIved LIe regIsLered IeLLer In PIeIIIerIng, wIere uILer LIe cIose oI LIe PIorzIeIm
LIeuLre seuson sIe wus spendIng u Iew weeks wILI Ier moLIer In LIe coLLuge under LIe cIesLnuL
Lrees. ¡L wus eurIy uILernoon. TIe ¡ruu SenuLor suw Ier duugILer IurryIng buck Irom u wuIk sIe
Iud Luken uIone, uILer LIe mIdduy meuI. TIey meL on LIe IILLIe open pIuce In IronL oI LIe Iouse
und CIurIssu brusIed pusL Ier moLIer wILI u bIunk, duzed Iook und IugILIve smIIe, InLo Ier own
room, wIere wILI u swIIL und vIoIenL movemenL sIe Lurned LIe key In LIe door. NexL door LIe oId
Iudy presenLIy Ieurd Ier duugILer uL LIe wusI-Iund-sLund, gurgIIng Ier LIrouL - we know now
LIuL IL wus Lo cooI LIe IeurIuI corrosIve ucLIon oI LIe ucId. TIen LIere wus u sIIence - Iong und
uncunny. AILer LwenLy mInuLes LIe ¡ruu SenuLor knocked und cuIIed CIurIssu's nume. RepeuLedIy
und urgenLIy sIe cuIIed buL no unswer cume. TIe IrIgILened womun, wILI Ier scunLy IuIr uwry
over Ier brow, Ier purLIy LooLIIess gums, run ucross Lo LIe muIn buIIdIng und In IuII-cIoked
words LoId ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII; LIuL experIenced souI IoIIowed Ier wILI u munservunL. AILer
repeuLed knockIng und cuIIIng LIey Iorced LIe door. CIurIssu Iuy wILI open eyes on LIe soIu uL LIe
IooL oI LIe bed, u pIece Irom LIe sevenLIes or eIgILIes oI LIe IusL cenLury, wILI u buck und sIde
urm; ¡ knew IL Irom LIe RumbergsLrusse. SIe Iud reLreuLed LIere wIen deuLI cume upon Ier
wIIIe sIe gurgIed Ier LIrouL.
"NoL unyLIIn' Lo do, deur ¡ruu SenuLor," suId ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, one IInger on Ier cIeek,
sIukIng Ier Ieud, uL sIgIL oI LIe IuII-sILLIng, IuII-IyIng IIgure. TIe sume onIy Loo convIncIng
sIgIL meL my eyes wIen ¡ IurrIed over Irom ¡reIsIng, IuvIng been InIormed by our IundIudy on
LIe LeIepIone. ¡ Look LIe wuIIIng moLIer In my urms, u dIsLressed und consoIuLory IumIIy IrIend;
we sLood besIde LIe body LogeLIer wILI ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII und AdrIun. Durk bIue spoLs oI
congesLed bIood on CIurIssu's IoveIy Iunds und on Ier Iuce IndIcuLed deuLI by quIck suIIocuLIon,
LIe ubrupL puruIysIs oI LIe orguns oI breuLIIng by u dose oI cyunIde Iurge enougI Lo kIII u
regImenL. On LIe LubIe, empLy, LIe screws Luken ouL oI LIe boLLom, wus LIuL bronze conLuIner,
LIe book wILI LIe nume HIppocruLes In Greek IeLLers, und LIe skuII upon IL.
TIere wus u IusLy pencIIIed noLe Lo Ier beLroLIed, wILI LIe words: "1e t'cime. Une jois je t'ci
trompe, mcis je t'cime."
TIe young mun cume Lo LIe IuneruI, LIe urrungemenLs Ior wIIcI IeII Lo my IoL. He wus IeurL-
broken - or ruLIer Ie wus desole, wIIcI oI course quILe wrongIy does noL sound quILe so serIous,
someIow u IILLIe more IIke u pIruse. ¡ wouId noL cusL doubL on LIe puIn wILI wIIcI Ie crIed ouL:
"AI, monsIeur, ¡ Ioved Ier enougI Lo purdon Ier. EveryLIIng mIgIL Iuve been weII - und now -
comme ccl"
Yes, "comme ccl" ¡L reuIIy mIgIL uII Iuve been oLIerwIse II Ie Iud noL been sucI u son oI IIs
IumIIy und II CIurIssu Iud Iud In IIm u more responsIbIe supporL.
TIuL nIgIL we wroLe, AdrIun, ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, und ¡, wIIIe LIe ¡ruu SenuLor In LIe deepesL
grIeI suL by LIe rIgId Iusk oI Ier cIIId, LIe pubIIc unnouncemenL oI LIe deuLI. ¡L Iud Lo be sIgned
by CIurIssu's neuresL reIuLIves, und we were Lo gIve IL un unmIsLukubIy puIIIuLIng Lone. We ugreed
on u IormuIu wIIcI suId LIuL LIe deceused Iud dIed uILer gruve und IncurubIe uIIIIcLIon. TIIs wus
reud by LIe MunIcI deun on wIom ¡ cuIIed Lo çet consenL Ior LIe cIurcI servIce so InLenseIy
desIred by LIe ¡ruu SenuLor. ¡ dId noL begIn Loo dIpIomuLIcuIIy, Ior ¡ nuIveIy udmILLed In con-
IIdence LIuL CIurIssu Iud preIerred deuLI Lo u IIIe oI dIsIonour. TIe mun oI God, u sLurdy cIerIc
oI Lrue ¡uLIerun Lype, wouId noL IIsLen Lo me. ¡runkIy, IL Look me some LIme Lo undersLund LIuL
on LIe one Iund, Indeed, LIe CIurcI dId noL wIsI Lo see IerseII puL on one sIde; buL on LIe oLIer
sIe wus noL reudy Lo gIve Ier purLIng bIessIng Lo u decIured suIcIde, Iowever IonourubIe u one.
¡n sIorL, LIe sLurdy cIerIc wunLed noLIIng eIse LIun LIuL ¡ sIouId LeII IIm u IIe. So LIen ¡ cume
round wILI uImosL rIdIcuIous prompLness, descrIbed LIe evenL us IncompreIensIbIe; uIIowed LIuL
u mIsLuke, u wrong boLLIe wus quILe possIbIe, yes, probubIe. WIereupon LIe IuL-Ieud sIowed
IImseII IIuLLered by LIe weIgIL we uLLucIed Lo LIe servIces oI IIs IIrm und decIured IImseII reudy
Lo conducL LIe IuneruI.
¡L Look pIuce In LIe MunIcI WuIdIrIed cemeLery, uLLended by LIe wIoIe cIrcIe oI IrIends oI LIe
Rodde IumIIy. RudI ScIwerdLIeger, ZInk und SpengIer, even ScIIIdknupp, LIey were uII LIere.
TIe mournIng wus sIncere, Ior everybody Iud been Iond oI poor, proud, perL CIurIssu. ¡nez
¡nsLILorIs, In deepesL bIuck, represenLed Ier moLIer, wIo dId noL uppeur. TIe duugILer receIved
LIe condoIences wILI dIgnILy, Ier deIIcuLe neck sLreLcIed ouL. ¡n LIIs LrugIc ouLcome oI Ier
sIsLer's sLruggIe ¡ couId noL IeIp seeIng un III omen Ior Ier own IuLe. And In speukIng wILI Ier ¡
goL LIe ImpressIon LIuL sIe ruLIer envIed LIun mourned Ior Ier sIsLer. Her Iusbund's Income
wus more und more reduced by LIe IuII oI LIe excIunge, In some cIrcIes so desIred und promoLed.
TIe buIwurk oI Iuxury, Ier proLecLIon uguInsL IIIe, LIreuLened Lo IuII LIe IrIgILened womun; IL wus
uIreudy doubLIuI wIeLIer LIey couId keep LIe expensIve Iome on LIe EngIIsI Gurden. As Ior
RudI ScIwerdLIeger, Ie Iud Indeed puId CIurIssu LIe IusL Ionours; buL Ie IeIL LIe cemeLery us
soon us Ie couId uILer IIs condoIences Lo LIe reIuLIves. AdrIun commenLed on LIeIr brIeIness und
IormuIILy.
TIIs wus probubIy LIe IIrsL LIme ¡nez Iud seen Ier Iover sInce Ie broke oII LIeIr uIIuIr - ¡ Ieur
ruLIer bruLuIIy, Ior Lo do IL "nIceIy" wus IurdIy possIbIe In vIew oI LIe desperuLIon wILI wIIcI sIe
cIung Lo IIm. As sIe sLood LIere besIde Ier sIender Iusbund, uL Ier sIsLer's gruve, sIe wus u
Iorsuken womun, und In uII IIkeIIIood desperuLeIy unIuppy. BuL sIe Iud guLIered round Ier u
IILLIe group oI women us u consoIuLIon und subsLILuLe, und LIey now sLood wILI Ier, more Ior Ier
suke LIun In CIurIssu's Ionour. To LIIs cIose IILLIe cIrcIe, purLnersIIp, corporuLIon, cIub, or wIuL
you wIII, beIonged NuLuIIe KnoLerIcI us ¡nez's neuresL IrIend; uIso u dIvorced womun wrILer, u
RumunIun-SIebenburgerIn, uuLIor oI vurIous Iurces und mIsLress oI u boIemIun suIon In
ScIwubIng; LIe ucLress Rosu ZwILscIer, u perIormer wIo IrequenLIy dIspIuyed greuL nervous
InLensILy; und one or Lwo oLIer IemuIes wIom IL Is unnecessury Lo descrIbe, especIuIIy sInce ¡ um
noL cerLuIn oI LIeIr ucLIve membersIIp In LIe group.
TIe cemenL LIuL bound LIem LogeLIer wus - us LIe reuder Is uIreudy prepured Lo Ieur -
morpIIne. ¡L wus un exLremeIy sLrong bond; Ior LIe conIruLernILy noL onIy IeIped eucI oLIer ouL
wILI LIeIr unIeuILIy purLnersIIp In LIe drug LIuL wus LIeIr bIIss und bune; buL uIso on LIe moruI
sIde LIere exIsLs u sud yeL Lender muLuuI respecL und soIIdurILy umong LIe sIuves oI LIe cruvIng.
¡n LIIs cuse LIe sInners were uIso IeId LogeLIer by u deIInILe pIIIosopIy or moLLo orIgInuLIng
wILI ¡nez ¡nsLILorIs und subscrIbed Lo by uII LIe IIve or sIx IrIends. ¡nez, LIuL Is, espoused LIe
vIew - ¡ Iuve on occusIon Ieurd IL Irom Ier IIps - LIuL puIn Is un IndIgnILy, LIuL IL Is sIumeIuI Lo
suIIer. BuL quILe usIde Irom LIuL concreLe und purLIcuIur IumIIIuLIon Irom pIysIcuI or emoLIonuI
suIIerIng, IIIe In und Ior ILseII, mere exIsLence, unImuI exIsLence, wus un IgnobIe IeLLer und
unworLIy burden, und IL wus noLIIng Iess LIun nobIe und IIgI-mInded, IL wus un exercIse oI u
Iumun rIgIL, IL wus InLeIIecLuuIIy jusLIIIubIe Lo sIougI oII LIe burden, so Lo speuk, Lo wIn
Ireedom, euse, un us IL were bodIIess weII-beIng by provIdIng LIe pIysIcuI wILI LIe bIessed sLuII
wIIcI purveyed sucI emuncIpuLIon Irom suIIerIng.
TIuL sucI u pIIIosopIy Look In ILs sLrIde LIe pIysIcuIIy ruInous consequences oI LIe seII-
InduIgenL IubIL, beIonged obvIousIy Lo ILs nobIIILy, und probubIy IL wus LIe conscIousness oI LIeIr
common eurIy ruIn LIuL sLImuIuLed LIe compunIons Lo sucI Lenderness, yes, Lo beIng LenderIy In
Iove wILI eucI oLIer. NoL wILIouL repuIsIon dId ¡ observe LIeIr rupLures, LIe IIgILIng up oI LIeIr
gIunces, LIeIr gusIIng embruces und kIsses wIen LIey meL In socIeLy. YeL ¡ conIess my prIvuLe
ImpuLIence wILI LIIs dIspensuLIon - conIess IL wILI u cerLuIn surprIse, sInce ¡ do noL uL uII cure
Ior myseII In LIe roIe oI curpIng pIurIsee. ¡L muy be LIe senLImenLuI dIsIngenuousness Lo wIIcI
LIe vIce Ieuds, or Is uIwuys ImmunenL In IL, LIuL cuuses my unconquerubIe dIsLusLe. Moreover ¡
Look umIss LIe reckIess IndIIIerence Lo Ier cIIIdren wIIcI ¡nez dIspIuyed us LIIs evII IubIL grew
on Ier; IL sLumped us IuIse uII Ier preLended devoLIon Lo Ier coddIed IILLIe wIILe-skInned
durIIngs. ¡n sIorL, LIe womun Iud become deepIy oIIensIve Lo me uILer ¡ knew und suw wIuL sIe
IeL IerseII In Ior. SIe perIecLIy suw LIuL ¡ Iud gIven Ier up, und repuId LIe percepLIon wILI u
smIIe wIIcI In ILs IysLerIcuI muIIce remInded me oI LIuL oLIer smIIe on Ier Iuce wIen Ior Lwo
Iours on end sIe Iud ussumed my Iumun sympuLIy wILI Ier Iove und Ier IusL.
¡ndeed, sIe Iud smuII ground Lo be cIeerIuI; Ior LIe wuy sIe debused IerseII wus u sorry sIgIL.
ProbubIy sIe Look over-doses, wIIcI dId noL Increuse Ier unImuLIon buL reduced Ier Lo u sLuLe In
wIIcI sIe couId noL uppeur In pubIIc. Mme ZwILscIer ucLed more brIIIIunLIy by LIe IeIp oI LIe
drug, und IL ucLuuIIy IeIgILened NuLuIIe KnoLerIcI's cIurm. BuL IL Iuppened repeuLedIy Lo poor
¡nez LIuL sIe cume IuII-duzed Lo LIe LubIe und suL wILI gIuzed eyes und noddIng Ieud wILI Ier
eIdesL duugILer und Ier worrIed und peLLy IILLIe Iusbund, uL LIe sLIII weII-kepL-up bourd
spurkIIng wILI sIIver und gIuss. BuL one udmIssIon ¡ wIII muke: ¡nez, us we know, commILLed u
Iew yeurs IuLer u cupILuI crIme, wIIcI uroused generuI Iorror und puL un end Lo Ier bourgeoIs
exIsLence. ¡ sIuddered uL LIe uwIuI deed; uL LIe sume LIme, In memory oI my oId IrIendsIIp, ¡ IeIL
uImosL, nuy, ¡ IeIL deIInILeIy proud LIuL In uII Ier sunken sLuLe sIe Iound LIe sLrengLI, LIe IurIous
energy Lo commIL IL.

CHAPTIR XXXVI
O Germuny, LIou urL undone! And ¡ um mIndIuI oI LIy Iopes. TIose Iopes, ¡ meun, wIIcI you
uroused (IL muy even be LIuL you dId noL sIure LIem) uILer your Iormer reIuLIveIy mIId coIIupse
und LIe ubdIcuLIon oI LIe EmpIre. TIe worId LIen pIuced on you cerLuIn Iopes; und you seemed
- usIde Irom LIuL reckIess, uLLerIy cruzy, desperuLe, und IysLerIcuI "InIIuLIon" oI your own
mIsery, LIe gIddy Ieuvenwurd cIImb oI LIe excIunge - LIuL usIde, you seemed Ior some yeurs Lo
be ubouL Lo jusLIIy, Lo some exLenL, LIose Iopes.
True, LIe IunLusLIc ImproprIeLIes oI LIuL perIod, u deIIberuLe uLLempL Lo muke Iuces uL LIe resL
oI LIe worId, were reuIIy noL unIIke wIuL we Iuve seen sInce 1q¸¸ und oI course sInce 1q¸q. On u
smuIIer scuIe LIey Loo were monsLrousIy IncredIbIe und exuggeruLed; LIe scene dIspIuyed LIe
sume vIcIous sun-cuIoLLIsm. BuL LIe debuucI on 'cIunge, LIe bombusL oI despuIr dId one duy
come Lo un end; LIe Iuce oI our economIc IIIe IosL ILs dIsLorLed, Insune grImuce und ussumed u
Iook oI reLurnIng sunILy. An epocI oI psycIoIogIcuI convuIescence seemed Lo be duwnIng. TIere
wus some Iope Ior Germuny oI socIuI progress In peuce und Ireedom; oI uduIL und Iorwurd-
IookIng eIIorL; oI u voIunLury udupLuLIon oI our LIougILs und IeeIIngs Lo LIose oI LIe normuI
worId. DespILe uII Ier InIerenL weukness und seII-IuLred, LIIs wus beyond u doubL LIe meunIng
und LIe Iope oI LIe Germun repubIIc - uguIn, LIe Iope ¡ meun Is LIe one sIe uwukened In LIe
worId ouLsIde. ¡L wus un uLLempL, u noL uLLerIy und enLIreIy IopeIess uLLempL (LIe second sInce
LIe IuIIure oI BIsmurck und IIs unIIIcuLIon perIormunce) Lo normuIIze Germuny In LIe sense oI
EuropeunIzIng or "democruLIzIng" IL, oI mukIng IL purL oI LIe socIuI IIIe oI peopIes. WIo wIII deny
LIuL mucI IonesL beIIeI In LIe possIbIIILy oI LIIs process wus uIIve In LIe oLIer counLrIes? WIo
wIII dIspuLe LIe exIsLence oI u IopeIuI movemenL, pIuIn Lo see on every Iund umong us Germuns,
suve In LIIs or LIuL unregeneruLe spoL - Ior InsLunce LypIcuIIy In our good cILy oI MunIcI?
¡ um speukIng oI LIe LwenLIes oI LIe LwenLIeLI cenLury, In purLIcuIur oI course oI LIeIr second
IuII, wIIcI quILe serIousIy wILnessed noLIIng Iess LIun u sIIIL oI LIe cuILuruI cenLre Irom ¡runce
Lo Germuny. ¡L Is u LeIIIng IucL LIuL, us ¡ menLIoned eurIIer, LIe IIrsL perIormunce oI AdrIun
¡everküIn's upocuIypLIc oruLorIo Look pIuce In Germuny - or more precIseIy ILs IIrsL compIeLe
perIormunce. TIe scene wus ¡runkIurL, uIwuys one oI LIe mosL IrIendIy und Iree-mInded cILIes In
LIe ReIcI. Even so, IL dId noL come ubouL wILIouL ungry opposILIon, bILLer reproucIes und
ouLcrIes uguInsL LIe pIece us u mockery oI urL, un expressIon oI nIIIIIsm, u crIme uguInsL musIc, In
sIorL, Lo use LIe currenL und IusIIonubIe condemnuLIon, us u specImen oI cuILuruI BoIsIevIsm.
BuL LIe work, und LIe uuducILy wIIcI presenLed IL, Iound InLeIIIgenL und eIoquenL deIenders:
ubouL LIe yeur 1qz; courugeous IrIendIIness Lo LIe ouLer worId und LIe cuuse oI Ireedom wus uL
ILs IeIgIL, us un oIIseL Lo LIe nuLIonuIIsLIc-WugnerIun-romunLIc Iorces oI reucLIon, uL Iome
purLIcuIurIy In MunIcI. ¡L wus cerLuInIy un eIemenL oI our pubIIc IIIe In LIe IIrsL IuII oI LIe
decude. ¡ um LIInkIng oI cuILuruI evenLs IIke LIe MusIc ¡esLIvuI In WeImur In 1qzo und LIe IIrsL
one uL DonuuescIIngen In LIe IoIIowIng yeur. On boLI occusIons, unIorLunuLeIy In LIe ubsence oI
LIe composer, some works oI ¡everküIn were gIven, LogeLIer wILI LIose oI oLIer urLIsLs
represenLuLIve oI LIe new InLeIIecLuuI und musIcuI uLLILude. TIe uudIence wus by no meuns
unrecepLIve; ¡ mIgIL suy LIuL LIey were, In LIe IIeId oI urL, repubIIcun-mInded. ¡n WeImur LIe
CosmIc SympIony wus conducLed by Bruno WuILer wILI u purLIcuIurIy sure rIyLImIcuI sense. AL
LIe IesLIvuI In Buden, In co-operuLIon wILI Huns PIuLner's Iumous murIoneLLe LIeuLre, LIey guve
uII IIve pIeces oI LIe Gestc Romcnorum - un experIence ruvIsIIng LIe IeeIIngs Lo und Iro
beLween pIous emoLIon und IuugILer us never beIore.
BuL ¡ wouId uIso recuII LIe sIure wIIcI Germun urLIsLs und IrIends oI urL Iud In LIe IoundIng
oI LIe ¡nLernuLIonuI SocIeLy Ior ConLemporury MusIc, In 1qzz, und LIe perIormunces by LIe
socIeLy Lwo yeurs IuLer In Prugue, wIen cIoruI und InsLrumenLuI porLIons oI AdrIun's Apocclçpsis
cum jiçuris were gIven beIore u pubIIc IncIudIng Iumous guesLs Irom uII LIe Iunds oI musIc. TIe
composILIon Iud uIreudy uppeured In prInL, noL, IIke ¡everküIn's eurIIer work, pubIIsIed by
ScIoLL In MuInz buL by LIe "UnIversuI EdILIons" In VIennu, wIose youLIIuI edILor Dr. EdeImunn
wus scurceIy LIIrLy yeurs oId buL uIreudy pIuyed un InIIuenLIuI purL In LIe musIcuI IIIe oI cenLruI
Europe. One duy EdeImunn bobbed up unexpecLedIy In PIeIIIerIng, In IucL even beIore LIe
Apocclçpse wus IInIsIed (IL wus In LIe weeks oI InLerrupLIon LIrougI LIe uLLuck oI IIIness) Lo
oIIer LIe guesL oI LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs IIs servIce us edILor und pubIIsIer. TIe vIsIL wus supposed Lo
be In connecLIon wILI un urLIcIe on AdrIun's work, wIIcI Iud recenLIy uppeured In LIe udvunced
rudIcuI VIennu musIcuI muguzIne Anbruch, Irom LIe pen oI LIe HungurIun musIcoIogIsL und
cuILure-pIIIosopIer DesIderIus ¡eIer. ¡eIer Iud expressed IImseII wILI greuL wurmLI ubouL LIe
IIgI InLeIIecLuuI IeveI und reIIgIous conLenL oI LIe musIc; ILs prIde und despuIr, ILs dIuboIIc
cIeverness, umounLIng Lo uIIIuLus; Ie Invoked LIe uLLenLIon oI LIe worId oI cuILure, wILI urdour
Increused by LIe wrILer's conIessed cIugrIn uL noL IuvIng IImseII dIscovered LIIs mosL
InLeresLIng und LIrIIIIng pIenomenon. He Iud, us Ie puL IL, needed Lo be guIded Irom ouLsIde,
Irom ubove, Irom u spIere IIgIer LIun uII IeurnIng, LIe spIere oI Iove und IuILI, In u word LIe
eLernuI IemInIne. ¡n sIorL LIe urLIcIe, wIIcI mIngIed LIe unuIyLIcuI wILI LIe IyrIcuI In u wuy
congenIuI Lo ILs LIeme, guve one u gIImpse, even LIougI In very vugue ouLIIne, oI u IemuIe IIgure
wIo wus ILs reuI InspIrer: u sensILIve womun, wIse und weII-InIormed, ucLIveIy uL work Ior Ier
IuILI. BuL us Dr. EdeImunn's vIsIL Iud Lurned ouL Lo be prompLed by LIe VIennu pubIIcuLIon, one
mIgIL suy LIuL IndIrecLIy IL Loo wus un eIIecL oI LIuL IIne und scrupuIous Iove und energy In LIe
buckground.
OnIy IndIrecLIy? ¡ um noL quILe sure. ¡ LIInk IL possIbIe LIuL LIe young musIcIun und mun oI
busIness muy Iuve receIved dIrecL sLImuIuLIon, suggesLIon, und InsLrucLIon Irom LIuL spIere, und
¡ um sLrengLIened In my guess by LIe IucL LIuL Ie knew more LIun LIe ruLIer mysLery-mukIng
urLIcIe Iud uIIowed ILseII Lo LeII. He knew LIe nume und menLIoned IL - noL uL once, noL us uc-
cepLed IucL, buL In LIe course oI LIe conversuLIon, Lowurds LIe end. ¡n LIe begInnIng Ie Iud
uImosL been reIused udmIssIon; LIen, wIen Ie Iud munuged Lo geL IImseII receIved, Ie Iud
usked ¡everküIn Lo LeII IIm ubouL IIs presenL work und Ie Ieurd ubouL LIe oruLorIo. Wus LIuL
Ior LIe IIrsL LIme? ¡ doubL IL. AdrIun wus suIIerIng uImosL Lo LIe poInL oI coIIupse; buL In LIe end
wus prevuIIed upon Lo pIuy, In LIe NIke room, consIderubIe porLIons Irom LIe munuscrIpL,
wIereupon Dr. EdeImunn secured IL on LIe spoL Ior LIe "EdILIons." TIe conLrucL cume Irom LIe
BuyerIscIer HoI In MunIcI nexL duy. BuL beIore Ie IeIL Ie Iud usked AdrIun, usIng LIe VIennese
mode oI uddress modeIIed on LIe ¡rencI: "MeIsLer, do you know" (¡ LIInk Ie even suId "Does
MeIsLer know") "¡ruu von ToInu?"
¡ um ubouL Lo do someLIIng LIuL wouId, In u noveI, breuk uII LIe cunons: ¡ meun Lo InLroduce
InLo LIe nurruLIve un InvIsIbIe cIurucLer. TIIs InvIsIbIe IIgure Is ¡ruu von ToInu und ¡ cunnoL seL
Ier beIore LIe reuder's eye or gIve LIe smuIIesL Ideu oI Ier ouLwurd uppeurunce, Ior ¡ Iuve noL
seen Ier und never Iud u descrIpLIon oI Ier, sInce no one ¡ know ever suw Ier eILIer. ¡ Ieuve IL un
open quesLIon wIeLIer Dr. EdeImunn IImseII, or onIy LIuL ussocIuLe edILor oI LIe Anbruch wIo
wus u counLrymun oI Iers, couId bousL oI Ier ucquuInLunce. As Ior AdrIun, Ie unswered In LIe
neguLIve LIe quesLIon puL by LIe VIennese. He dId noL know LIe Iudy, Ie suId; buL Ie dId noL, In
IIs Lurn, usk wIo sIe wus, nor dId EdeImunn gIve uny expIunuLIon oI IIs quesLIon, oLIer LIun
mereIy by suyIng: "AL uII evenLs, you Iuve" (or "MeIsLer Ius") "no wurmer udmIrer LIun sIe."
ObvIousIy Ie regurded LIe neguLIve repIy us LIe condILIoned und guurded LruLI LIuL IL wus.
AdrIun couId unswer us Ie dId becuuse IIs reIuLIon Lo LIe HungurIun nobIewomun Iucked uny
personuI conLucL; ¡ muy udd LIuL by muLuuI consenL IL wus uIwuys Lo Iuck IL, Lo LIe end. ¡L Is
unoLIer muLLer LIuL Ior u Iong LIme LIey Iud currIed on u correspondence, In wIIcI sIe sIowed
IerseII LIe sIrewdesL und mosL InILIuLe connoIsseur oI IIs work, LIe mosL devoLed IrIend,
conIIdunLe, und counseIIor, uncondILIonuIIy und unIuIIIngIy uL IIs servIce; wIIIe on IIs sIde Ie
wenL Lo LIe IurLIesL IImILs oI communIcuLIveness und conIIdIngness oI wIIcI u soIILury souI IIke
IIs Is cupubIe. We know oI LIose oLIer needy, yeurnIng IemuIe beIngs wIo by seIIIess devoLIon
won u modesL nIcIe In LIe IIIe-IIsLory oI LIIs cerLuInIy ImmorLuI genIus. Here now Is u LIIrd, oI
quILe dIIIerenL mouId, noL onIy equuIIIng In dIsInLeresLedness LIose oLIer sImpIer souIs, buL even
exceIIIng LIem In LIe usceLIc renuncIuLIon oI uny dIrecL upproucI, LIe InvIoIubIe observunce oI
IIs prIvucy, LIe uIooIness, LIe resLruInL, LIe persIsLenL InvIsIbIIILy. None oI LIIs, oI course, wus
due Lo sIyness or uwkwurdness, Ior LIIs wus u womun oI LIe worId, wIo Lo LIe IermIL oI
PIeIIIerIng dId reuIIy represenL LIe worId: LIe worId us Ie Ioved IL, needed IL, und so Iur us Ie
couId sLund IL; LIe worId uL u dIsLunce, keepIng ILseII removed ouL oI LucL und good sense.
¡ seL down Iere wIuL ¡ know oI LIIs exLruordInury beIng. Mme de ToInu wus LIe weuILIy wIdow
oI u dIssIpuLed nobIemun, wIo Iowever Iud noL dIed oI IIs excesses buL In u rucIng uccIdenL. SIe
wus IeIL cIIIdIess, LIe owner oI u puIuce In BudupesL, u vusL esLuLe u Iew Iours souLI oI LIe
cupILuI, neur SLuIIweIssenburg, beLween LIe PIuLLensee und LIe Dunube, und besIdes LIese u
cusLeIIuLed vIIIu on LIe sume Iuke, BuIuLon. TIe esLuLe, wILI ILs spIendId, comIorLubIy modernIzed
eIgILeenLI-cenLury munor-Iouse, comprIsed enormous wIeuL-growIng LrucLs und exLensIve
sugur-beeL pIunLuLIons, LIe IurvesLs beIng munuIucLured In reIInIng works on LIe properLy ILseII.
None oI LIese resIdences - puIuLIuI Lown Iouse, munorIuI esLuLe, or summer vIIIu - dId LIe
owner occupy Ior Iong uL u LIme. MosLIy, one muy suy uImosL uIwuys, sIe wus LruveIIIng, IeuvIng
Ier Iomes, Lo wIIcI sIe obvIousIy dId noL cIIng, Irom wIIcI resLIessness or puInIuI memorIes
drove Ier uwuy, Lo LIe cure oI munugers und mujor-domos. SIe IIved In PurIs, NupIes, EgypL, LIe
EngudIne, uLLended Irom pIuce Lo pIuce by u Iudy's muId, u muIe oIIIcIuI someLIIng IIke u courIer
und quurLermusLer, und u body-pIysIcIun Ior Ier soIe servIce, wIIcI mude one suspecL LIuL sIe
wus In deIIcuLe IeuILI.
Her mobIIILy Iowever seemed noL Lo suIIer; und combIned wILI un enLIusIusm resLIng on
InsLIncL, InLuILIon, knowIedge, sensIbIIILy - God knows wIuL! - mysLerIous percepLIon, souI-
uIIInILy, sIe communded mosL unusuuI resources. ¡L Lurned ouL LIuL LIIs womun Iud been
presenL, mIngIIng unobLrusIveIy In LIe uudIence wIerever peopIe Iud been boId enougI Lo
perIorm uny oI AdrIun's musIc: In ¡ubeck, uL LIe mucI-rIdIcuIed premIere oI IIs operu; In
ZurIcI, In WeImur, In Prugue. How oILen sIe Iud been neur IIm In MunIcI und so neur Lo IIs
IodgIng, wILIouL reveuIIng IerseII, ¡ wouId noL know. BuL sIe uIso - IL cume ouL by uccIdenL -
knew PIeIIIerIng; Iud secreLIy mude ucquuInLunce wILI LIe seLLIng oI AdrIun's ucLIvILy, IIs
ImmedIuLe surroundIngs; Iud, II ¡ um noL mIsLuken, sLood under LIe wIndow oI LIe AbboL's
cIumber und gone uwuy unseen. AII LIuL Is LIrIIIIng enougI; buL even sLrunger, summonIng up
LIe Imuge oI LIe devouL pIIgrIm Is u IucL wIIcI ¡ Ieurned Iong uILerwurds und uIso more or Iess by
cIunce: sIe Iud ucLuuIIy gone Lo KuIsersuscIern, wus ucquuInLed wILI OberweIIer und LIe BucIeI
Iurm ILseII, und LIus wus uwure oI LIe puruIIeI - Lo me uIwuys IuInLIy depressIng - beLween
AdrIun's cIIIdIood seLLIng und LIe Irume oI IIs IuLer IIIe.
¡ IorgoL Lo suy LIuL sIe Iud noL omILLed PuIesLrInu, LIe vIIIuge In LIe SubIne HIIIs. SIe spenL
some weeks In LIe MunurdI Iouse und, IL uppeured, mude quIck und cIose IrIends wILI SIgnoru
MunurdI. WIen In Ier IuII-Germun, IuII-¡rencI IeLLers sIe menLIoned LIe SIgnoru, sIe cuIIed
Ier Mere MunurdI. SIe guve LIe sume LILIe Lo ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, wIom, uccordIng Lo Ier own
evIdence, sIe Iud seen wILIouL beIng seen or noLIced. And IerseII? Wus IL Ier Ideu Lo uLLucI
IerseII Lo uII LIese muLernuI IIgures und cuII LIem sIsLers? WIuL nume IILLed Ier In reIuLIon Lo
AdrIun ¡everküIn? WIIcI dId sIe wunL or cIuIm? A proLecLIng deILy, un EgerIu, u souI-muLe? TIe
IIrsL IeLLer sIe wroLe, Irom BrusseIs, wus uccompunIed by u gIIL senL Lo IIm In Iomuge: u rIng LIe
IIke oI wIIcI ¡ Iuve never seen - LIougI In uII conscIence LIuL does noL meun mucI, sInce LIe
presenL wrILer Is IILLIe versed In LIe precIous muLerIuI LIIngs oI LIIs worId. ¡L wus u jeweI oI greuL
beuuLy und - Lo me - IncuIcuIubIe vuIue. TIe engruved Ioop ILseII wus oId RenuIssunce work;
LIe sLone u spIendId specImen oI cIeur puIe-green emeruId Irom LIe UruIs, cuL wILI Iurge IuceLs, u
gIorIous sIgIL. One couId ImugIne LIuL IL Iud once udorned LIe Iund oI u prInce oI LIe CIurcI -
LIe pugun InscrIpLIon IL bore wus scurceIy evIdence Lo LIe conLrury. On LIe Iurd upper IuceL oI
LIe precIous beryI Lwo IInes were gruven In LIe LInIesL Greek cIurucLers. TrunsIuLed LIey run
somewIuL IIke LIIs:
WIuL u LrembIIng seIzed on LIe IuureI-busI oI ApoIIo! TrembIes LIe enLIre Irume! ¡Iee, proIune
one! DepurL!
¡L wus noL Iurd Ior me Lo pIuce LIe IInes us LIe begInnIng oI u Iymn Lo ApoIIo, by CuIIImucIus.
TIey descrIbe wILI uneurLIIy Lerror LIe sIgn oI un epIpIuny oI LIe god uL IIs sIrIne. TIe wrILIng,
wILI uII ILs LInIness, wus cIeur und sIurp. RuLIer more bIurred wus LIe sIgn curved beneuLI, IIke u
vIgneLLe. Under u gIuss IL reveuIed ILseII us u wInged snukeIIke monsLer wIose Longue wus cIeurIy
urrow-sIuped. TIe myLIoIogIcuI IunLusy mude me LIInk oI LIe sLIng or sIoL-wound oI LIe
CIrysueun PIIIocLeLes und LIe epILIeL AEscIyIus Ius Ior LIe urrow: "IIssIng wInged snuke"; ¡
recuIIed Loo LIe connecLIon beLween LIe urrow oI PIoebus und LIe ruy oI LIe sun.
¡ cun LesLIIy LIuL AdrIun wus cIIIdIsIIy deIIgILed wILI LIIs consIderubIe gIIL, speukIng oI u
sympuLIeLIc someone In LIe buckground. He uccepLed IL wILIouL u LIougIL, LIougI Ie never, In
IucL, sIowed IImseII Lo oLIers weurIng IL, buL InsLeud mude u prucLIce - or sIuII ¡ suy u rILuuI? -
oI puLLIng IL on Ior IIs workIng Iours. ¡ know LIuL durIng LIe wrILIng oI LIe wIoIe oI LIe
Apocclçpse Ie wore LIe jeweI on IIs IeIL Iund.
DId Ie LIInk LIuL u rIng Is LIe symboI oI u bond, u IeLLer, yes, oI possessIon? ObvIousIy Ie
LIougIL no sucI LIIng; seeIng In LIuL precIous IInk oI un InvIsIbIe cIuIn, wIIcI Ie sLuck on IIs
IInger wIIIe Ie composed, noLIIng more LIun u sorL oI brIdge beLween IIs IermIL sLuLe und LIe
ouLsIde worId; us u mere cIoudy symboI oI u personuIILy, ubouL wIose IeuLures or IndIvIduuI LruILs
Ie evIdenLIy InquIred Iur Iess LIun ¡ dId. Wus LIere, ¡ usked myseII, someLIIng In LIe womun's
ouLwurd uppeurunce LIuL mIgIL expIuIn LIe IundumenLuI condILIon oI Ier reIuLIons wILI AdrIun,
LIe InvIsIbIIILy, LIe uvoIdunce, LIe ruIe LIuL LIey sIouId never seL eyes on eucI oLIer? SIe mIgIL
be ugIy, Iume, crIppIed, dIsIIgured by u skIn uIImenL. ¡ do noL so InLerpreL IL; buL ruLIer LIInk LIuL
II some bIemIsI exIsLed IL Iuy In LIe reuIm oI LIe spIrIL und LuugIL Ier Lo undersLund every sorL oI
need Ior consIderuLIon und scrupuIous LucL. AdrIun never once sougIL Lo breuk LIuL Iuw; Ie sI-
IenLIy ucquIesced In LIe bounds seL Lo LIe reIuLIonsIIp wILIIn LIe reuIms oI InLeIIecL und spIrIL.
¡ use unwIIIIngIy LIIs bunuI pIruse. TIere Is someLIIng coIourIess und weuk ubouL IL, noL
consIsLenL wILI LIe prucLIcuI energy cIurucLerIsLIc oI LIIs cure, concern, und devoLIon, remoLe
und sIrouded LIougI IL wus. DurIng LIe composILIon oI LIe Apocclçpse LIe Lwo currIed on un
excIunge oI IeLLers uILogeLIer objecLIve In LIeIr conLenL, Iers evIncIng u serIous und soIId
Europeun cuILure, boLI musIcuIIy und generuIIy speukIng. My IrIend's correspondenL knew Iow
Lo gIve IIm suggesLIons Ior LIe LexLuuI sLrucLure oI LIe work, Irom muLerIuI noL eusIIy uccessIbIe.
¡L Lurned ouL, Ior InsLunce, LIuL LIuL oId-¡rencI meLrIcuI versIon oI LIe vIsIon oI SL. PuuI Iud
come Lo IIm Irom LIe "ouLer worId." TIe sume ouLer worId wus consLunLIy, II by round-ubouL
wuys und LIrougI InLermedIurIes, ucLIve on IIs beIuII. ¡L wus "LIe worId" wIIcI InsLIguLed LIuL
sLImuIuLIng urLIcIe In LIe Anbruch, cerLuInIy LIe onIy pubIIcuLIon wIere enLIusIusm Ior
¡everküIn's musIc couId geL u IeurIng. ¡L wus "LIe worId" wIIcI suw Lo IL LIuL LIe "UnIversuI
EdILIons" Iud secured LIe oruLorIo wIIIe IL wus sLIII beIng wrILLen. ¡n 1qz1 IL puL uL LIe dIsposuI oI
LIe PIuLner murIoneLLe LIeuLre, prIvuLeIy, so LIuL LIe source oI LIe gIIL wus IeIL vugue,
consIderubIe sums Ior LIe expensIve und musIcuIIy udequuLe producLIon oI LIe Gestc In
DomuuescIIngen.
¡ musL dweII u IILLIe on LIIs poInL, und LIe sweepIng gesLure uccompunyIng IL, LIIs "puLLIng uL
LIe dIsposuI oI." AdrIun couId Iuve no sIudow oI doubL LIuL Ie mIgIL commund uny und every
resource oI LIIs womun oI LIe worId wIo Iud become LIe recIuse's devoLee. Her weuILI wus
obvIousIy u burden on Ier conscIence, uILIougI sIe Iud never known IIIe wILIouL IL und
probubIy wouId noL Iuve known Iow Lo IIve. To Iuy on LIe uILur oI genIus us mucI oI IL us
possIbIe, us mucI us sIe ever dured Lo oIIer, wus Ier conIessed desIre; und II AdrIun Iud wIsIed,
IIs wIoIe munner oI IIIe mIgIL Iuve cIunged Irom one duy Lo LIe nexL on LIe cosLIy scuIe oI LIuL
gem, udorned wILI wIIcI onIy LIe Iour wuIIs oI LIe AbboL's cIumber ever suw IIm. He knew IL us
weII us ¡ dId. ¡ need noL suy LIuL Ie never Ior u momenL serIousIy consIdered IL. DIIIerenLIy
consLILuLed Irom me, Ior wIom some InLoxIcuLIon Iud uIwuys IuIn In LIe LIougIL oI vusL weuILI
IyIng uL IIs IeeL, wIIcI Ie need onIy grusp Lo secure IImseII u prInceIy exIsLence, Ie Iud cerLuInIy
never ucLuuIIy come Lo grIps wILI sucI un Ideu. BuL once, wIen by excepLIon Ie Iud IeIL IIs
PIeIIIerIng nesL on u journey, Ie Iud Iud u IIeeLIng gIImpse, LusLed un experImenLuI sIp, oI LIe
uImosL reguI Iorm oI IIIe wIIcI prIvuLeIy ¡ couId noL IeIp wIsIIng mIgIL be permunenLIy IIs.
TIuL Is LwenLy yeurs sInce, und cume ubouL wIen Ie uccepLed LIe sLundIng InvILuLIon oI Mme
de ToInu Lo IIve Ior us Iong us Ie cIose In one oI Ier resIdences - LIuL Is, oI course, wIen sIe wus
noL LIere. He wus LIen, In LIe sprIng oI 1qzq, In VIennu, wIere In LIe EIrbur HuII und In LIe
seLLIng oI one oI LIe so-cuIIed Anbruch evenIngs RudI ScIwerdLIeger uL IusL und IInuIIy pIuyed LIe
vIoIIn concerLo wrILLen Ior IIm. ¡L wus u greuL success, noL IeusL Ior RudI IImseII. ¡ suy noL IeusL,
und meun ubove uII; Ior u cerLuIn concenLruLIon oI InLeresL on LIe urL oI LIe InLerpreLer Is
InIerenL In LIe InLenLIon oI LIe work, wIIcI, LIougI LIe Iund oI LIe musIcIun Is unmIsLukubIe, Is
noL one oI ¡everküIn's IIgIesL und proudesL eIIecLs, buL uL IeusL In purL Ius someLIIng compII-
menLury und condescendIng, ¡ mIgIL beLLer suy uIIubIe ubouL IL wIIcI remInded me oI un eurIy
propIecy Irom IIps now Iorever muLe. - AdrIun decIIned Lo uppeur beIore LIe uppIuudIng
uudIence uL LIe end oI LIe pIece und IeIL LIe Iouse wIIIe we were IookIng Ior IIm. We Iound IIm
IuLer, LIe producer, LIe beumIng RudI, und ¡, In LIe resLuurunL oI LIe IILLIe IoLeI In LIe
Herrengusse wIere Ie sLopped uIone, ScIwerdLIeger IuvIng LIougIL IL due Lo IImseII Lo go Lo u
IoLeI In LIe RIng.
TIe ceIebruLIon wus brIeI - AdrIun Iud IeuducIe. BuL IL seems LIe Lemporury reIuxuLIon oI IIs
pIun oI IIIe Ied IIm Lo decIde nexL duy noL Lo reLurn uL once Lo LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs' buL Lo pIeuse IIs
IrIend oI LIe ouLer worId by vIsILIng Ier HungurIun esLuLe. TIe condILIon LIuL sIe sIouId be
ubsenL wus compIIed wILI, Ior sIe wus uL LIe LIme In VIennu, LIougI InvIsIbIe. He senL u wIre Lo
LIe esLuLe mukIng unnouncemenL oI IIs vIsIL, und IusLy urrungemenLs were mude by messuges Lo
und Iro. He seL oII, noL uccompunIed by me, Ior mucI Lo my regreL ¡ couId scurceIy spure LIme
even Ior LIe concerL. TIIs LIme IL wus noL RüdIger ScIIIdknupp eILIer. TIe IIke-eyed one dId noL
exerL IImseII Lo go Lo VIennu - probubIy Ie dId noL Iuve LIe money. No, quILe nuLuruIIy IL wus
RudI ScIwerdLIeger, wIo wus uIreudy on LIe spoL und Iree. Moreover, Ie Iud jusL coIIuboruLed
successIuIIy wILI AdrIun In LIeIr common enLerprIse, und IIs IndeIuLIgubIe seII-conIIdence Iud
been crowned wILI success - u success Ieuvy wILI IuLe.
¡n LIIs compuny, LIen, AdrIun wus receIved on LIe esLuLe us LIougI Ie were LIe Iord oI LIe
munor come Iome Irom ubroud.
TIe Lwo spenL LweIve duys In sLuLeIy domesLIcILy In LIe dIx-IuILIeme suIons und upurLmenLs oI
CusLIe ToInu, In drIves LIrougI LIe prInceIy esLuLe und uIong LIe guy sIores oI LIe PIuLLensee,
uLLended by un obsequIous reLInue, some oI wIom were Turks. TIey mIgIL use und enjoy u
IIbrury In IIve Iunguuges; Lwo gIorIous grund pIunos sLood on LIe pIuLIorm oI LIe musIc-room;
LIere wus u Iouse orgun und every conceIvubIe Iuxury. AdrIun suId LIuL In LIe vIIIuge beIongIng
Lo LIe properLy LIe deepesL poverLy prevuIIed und un enLIreIy urcIuIc, pre-revoIuLIonury sLuge oI
deveIopmenL. TIeIr guIde, LIe munuger oI LIe esLuLe, IImseII LoId LIem, wILI compussIonuLe
Ieud-sIukIngs, us u IucL worLI menLIon, LIuL LIe vIIIugers onIy Iud meuL one duy In LIe yeur, uL
CIrIsLmus, und Iud noL even LuIIow cundIes, buL IILeruIIy wenL Lo bed wILI LIe cIIckens. To uILer
LIese sIockIng condILIons, Lo wIIcI IubIL und Ignorunce Iud rendered LIose wIo suw LIem
cuIIous - Ior InsLunce LIe IndescrIbubIe IIILI oI LIe vIIIuge sLreeL, LIe uLLer Iuck oI sunILuLIon In
LIe dweIIIng-IoveIs - wouId Iuve umounLed Lo u revoIuLIonury deed, Lo wIIcI no sIngIe
IndIvIduuI, cerLuInIy noL u womun, couId brIng IerseII. BuL one muy suspecL LIuL LIe sIgIL oI LIe
vIIIuge wus umong LIe LIIngs wIIcI prevenLed AdrIun's InvIsIbIe IrIend Irom spendIng mucI LIme
upon Ier own properLy. BuL ¡ um noL LIe mun Lo gIve more LIun u bure skeLcI oI LIIs sIIgILIy
IunLusLIc epIsode In my IrIend's uusLere IIIe. ¡ wus noL uL IIs sIde und couId noL Iuve been, even
Iud Ie usked me. ¡L wus ScIwerdLIeger, Ie couId descrIbe IL. BuL Ie Is deud.

CHAPTIR XXXVII
¡ sIouId do beLLer Lo deuI wILI LIIs secLIon us ¡ dId wILI some eurIIer ones: noL gIvIng IL u
number oI ILs own, buL LreuLIng IL sImpIy us u conLInuuLIon. To go on wILIouL uny murked cuesuru
wouId be correcL, Ior LIe subjecL oI LIe nurruLIve Is LIe sume: "LIe ouLer worId," und LIe IIsLory
oI my depurLed IrIend's connecLIon or Iuck oI connecLIon wILI IL. AL LIIs poInL, Iowever, uII
mysLery, uII deIIcucy, uII dIscreLIon ure ubundoned. No Ionger Is "LIe worId" embodIed In LIe
IIgure oI u sIrouded LuLeIury goddess sIowerIng prIceIess symboIIc gIILs. ¡n Ier pIuce we Iuve LIe
InLernuLIonuI busIness mun und concerL ugenL, nuIveIy persIsLenL, proIuse oI promIses, rebuIIed
by no reserve, cerLuInIy superIIcIuI, yeL Ior uII LIuL Lo me even un engugIng Lype. We meL IIm In
LIe person oI Herr SuuI ¡ILeIberg, wIo uppeured In PIeIIIerIng one IoveIy duy In IuLe summer
wIen ¡ Iuppened Lo be LIere. ¡L wus u SuLurduy uILernoon, und Sunduy mornIng eurIy ¡ wus
reLurnIng Iome us IL wus mç wIIe's bIrLIduy. ¡or uL IeusL un Iour Ie umused AdrIun und me und
mude us IuugI; und LIen, wILI IIs busIness unuccompIIsIed - In so Iur us LIere Iud been
unyLIIng so concreLe us busIness ubouL IL - Ie depurLed wILI compIeLe equunImILy. ¡L wus LIe
yeur 1qz¸; one cunnoL suy LIuL LIe mun Iud wuked up very eurIy. However, Ie Iud noL wuILed Ior
LIe Prugue und ¡runkIurL concerLs; LIey beIonged Lo u IuLure by LIen noL very dIsLunL. BuL LIere
Iud been WeImur, und DonuuescIIngen, usIde Irom LIe SwIss perIormunces oI ¡everküIn's
youLIIuI works: IL Look no exLruordInury InLuILIon Lo guess LIuL Iere wus someLIIng Lo prIze und
Lo promoLe. And LIe Apocclçpse Iud uppeured In prInL, und ¡ LIInk IL quILe possIbIe LIuL
MonsIeur SuuI wus In u posILIon Lo sLudy LIuL work. ¡n sIorL, LIe mun Iud pIcked up LIe scenL, Ie
wunLed Lo muke u kIII, Lo buIId up u repuLuLIon, dIscover u genIus und us IIs munuger InLroduce
IIm Lo u socIuI worId uIwuys und ubove uII uvId Ior new LIIngs. SucI were LIe moLIves LIuL Ied
IIm Lo Iorce IIs wuy so bIundIy InLo LIe reLreuL wIere genIus creuLed und suIIered.
Here Is Iow IL Iuppened: ¡ Iud reucIed PIeIIIerIng eurIy In LIe uILernoon; AdrIun und ¡
reLurned soon uILer Iour Irom u wuIk In LIe meudows uILer Leu und suw Lo our surprIse un
uuLomobIIe sLundIng In LIe courLyurd, by LIe eIm Lree. ¡L wus noL un ordInury LuxI, buL more IIke
u prIvuLe cur, LIe kInd one sees, wILI cIuuIIeur, ouL In IronL oI un uuLomobIIe busIness, Ior IIre
by LIe Iour or LIe duy. TIe drIver, wIose unIIorm wus desIgned Lo curry LIe sume Ideu, sLood
besIde LIe cur smokIng, und us we pussed IIm Ie IIILed IIs peuked cup wILI u broud grIn,
probubIy LIInkIng oI LIe jokes IIs umuzIng pussenger Iud mude on LIe wuy. ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII
cume Lowurds us Irom LIe Iouse, u vIsILIng-curd In Ier Iund, und spoke In subdued und sLurLIed
voIce. A mun wus LIere, sIe LoId us, u "mun oI LIe worId" - LIe pIruse, us sIe wIIspered IL, und
us u rupId summIng-up oI u guesL sIe Iud LIuL momenL cIupped eyes on, Iud someLIIng
uncunnIIy percepLIve ubouL IL, uImosL sIbyIIIne. PerIups LIe eupIemIsm Is more undersLundubIe
coupIed wILI LIe oLIer wIIcI ¡ruu EIse suppIIed on Lop oI IL: sIe cuIIed LIe mun u cruzy Ioon.
"Scher Mcdcme" wus wIuL Ie Iud cuIIed Ier, und uILer LIuL "petite mcmcn" und Ie Iud pIncIed
CIemenLIne's cIeek. ¡ruu EIse Iud sIuL LIe gIrI InLo Ier room unLII LIe "mun oI LIe worId"
sIouId be gone. BuL sIe couIdn'L send IIm oII wILI u IIeu In IIs eur, eI, IIm comIng IIke LIuL Irom
MunIcI In u cur? So LIere Ie wus, wuILIng In LIe bIg room. WILI mIsgIvIng we exumIned LIe curd,
wIIcI guve us uII LIe InIormuLIon we needed; IL reud: "SuuI ¡ILeIberg. Arrcnçements musiccux.
Representcnt de nombreux crtistes prominents." ¡ rejoIced LIuL ¡ wus on LIe spoL Lo proLecL
AdrIun; ¡ sIouId noL Iuve IIked IIm Lo be deIIvered over uIone Lo LIIs "representcnt" We beLook
ourseIves Lo LIe NIke room.
¡ILeIberg wus uIreudy sLundIng uL LIe door, und uILIougI AdrIun IeL me go In IIrsL, LIe mun's
wIoIe uLLenLIon wus uL once uddressed Lo IIm. AILer one cursory gIunce uL me LIrougI IIs Iorn-
rImmed gIusses Ie swung IIs wIoIe pIump body round Lo Iook beyond me uL LIe mun on wIose
uccounL Ie Iud IeL IImseII In Ior LIe expense oI u Lwo Iours' uuLo journey. OI course IL Is no greuL
IeuL Lo dIsLInguIsI beLween u sImpIe IIgI-scIooI LeucIer und u mun seL upurL by genIus. BuL LIe
vIsILor's swIIL orIenLuLIon, IIs gIIb recognILIon oI my unImporLunce despILe my wuIkIng In uIeud,
IIs pounce on IIs proper prey - uII In uII, IL wus un ImpressIve perIormunce.
"CIer muILre," Ie begun, wILI u smIIe, ruLLIIng oII IIs speecI wILI u IursI uccenL buL
uncommon IIuency: "Comme je suIs Ieureux, comme je suIs emu de vous Lrouver! Meme pour
un Iomme guLe, endurcI comme moI, c'esL Loujours une experIence LoucIunLe de renconLrer un
grund Iomme. - EncIunLe, monsIeur Ie proIesseur," Ie udded In pussIng us AdrIun presenLed
me, und puL ouL IIs Iund cureIessIy, LurnIng uguIn uL once Lo LIe rIgIL uddress.
"Vous muudIrez I'InLrus, cIer MonsIeur ¡everküIn," suId Ie, uccenLIng LIe nume on LIe IusL
syIIubIe us LIougI IL were speIL ¡e Vercune. "MuIs pour moI, eLunL une IoIs u MunIcI, c'eLuIL LouL
u IuIL ImpossIbIe de munquer - oI, yes, ¡ speuk Germun," Ie InLerrupLed IImseII, wILI LIe sume
noL unpIeusunL Iurd quuIILy In IIs voIce: "NoL weII, noL perIecLIy, buL ¡ cun muke myseII under-
sLood. Du resLe, je suIs convuIncu LIuL you know ¡rencI perIecLIy. Your seLLIngs Lo LIe VerIuIne
poems ure LIe besL evIdence In LIe worId. MuIs upres LouL, we ure on Germun soII - Iow Ger-
mun, Iow IomeIy, Iow IuII oI cIurucLer! ¡ um encIunLed wILI LIe IdyIIIc seLLIng In wIIcI you,
MuILre, Iuve been so wIse us Lo seLLIe down... MuIs ouI, cerLuInemenL, IeL us sIL down, muny
LIunks, u LIousund LIunks!"
He wus u mun oI perIups IorLy, IuL, noL poL-beIIIed buL IIesIy und soIL In IIs IImbs und IIs
LIIck wIILe Iunds; smooLI-sIuven, IuII-Iuced, wILI u doubIe cIIn, sLrongIy murked urcIed brows,
und IIveIy uImond-sIuped eyes IuII oI souLIern meILIngness beIInd LIe Iorn-rImmed gIusses. HIs
IuIr wus LIInnIng, buL Ie Iud sound wIILe LeeLI wIIcI were uIwuys vIsIbIe, Ior Ie smIIed uII LIe
LIme. He wus dressed In eIegunL summer cIoLIes, u wuIsLed sLrIped bIue IIunneI suIL und cunvus
sIoes wILI yeIIow IeuLIer bunds. MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII's descrIpLIon oI IIm wus umusIngIy
jusLIIIed by IIs eusy munner und reIresIIng IIgILness oI LoucI. ¡Ike IIs rupId-IIre, sIIgILIy
IndIsLIncL, uIwuys ruLIer IIgI-pILcIed voIce, someLImes breukIng InLo u LrebIe, IIs uIrIness wus
pecuIIur Lo IIs wIoIe beurIng, counLerucLIng LIe pIumpness oI IIs person, wIIIe ucLuuIIy, In u
wuy, In Iurmony wILI IL. ¡ Iound LIIs IIgILness oI LoucI reIresIIng; IL Iud become purL oI IIm,
und IL dId ucLuuIIy InspIre LIe ubsurdIy sooLIIng convIcLIon LIuL we uII Luke IIIe unconscIonubIy
Iurd. ¡L seemed uIwuys Lo be suyIng: "WIy noL? So wIuL? Meuns noLIIng. ¡eL's be Iuppy!" And
InvoIunLurIIy one sLrove Lo cIIme In.
TIuL Ie wus unyLIIng buL sLupId wIII be evIdenL wIen ¡ repeuL IIs conversuLIon, wIIcI Is sLIII
IresI In my mInd. ¡ sIuII do weII Lo Ieuve LIe word enLIreIy Lo IIm, sInce wIuLever AdrIun or ¡
InLerpoIuLed or repIIed pIuyed scurceIy uny roIe. We suL down uL one end oI LIe mussIve Iong
LubIe wIIcI wus LIe cIIeI IurnIsIIng oI LIe peusunL room: AdrIun und ¡ nexL Lo eucI oLIer, our
guesL opposILe. He dId noL beuL ubouL LIe busI very Iong; IIs Iopes und InLenLs cume ouL quILe
soon.
"MuILre," suId Ie, "¡ quILe undersLood Iow you musL cIIng Lo LIe dIsLInguIsIed reLIremenL oI
LIe ubode you Iuve cIosen - oI, yes, ¡ Iuve seen IL uII, LIe IIII, LIe pond, LIe vIIIuge, und cIurcI,
eL puIs ceLLe muIson pIeIne de dIgnILe uvec son IoLesse muLerneIIe eL vIgoureuse. Mudume
ScIweIgesLIII! Cu veuL dIre: 'Je suIs me LuIre. SIIence, sIIence!' Comme c'esL cIurmunL! How Iong
Iuve you IIved Iere? Ten yeurs? WILIouL u breuk - or neurIy so? C'esL eLonnunL! BuL oI, Iow
eusy Lo undersLund! And sLIII, IIgurez-vous, ¡ Iuve come Lo LempL you uwuy, Lo beLruy you Lo u
Lemporury unIuILIIuIness, Lo beur you on my munLIe LIrougI LIe uIr und sIow you LIe kIngdoms
oI LIe eurLI und LIe gIory oI LIem - or even more, Lo Iuy LIem uL your IeeL... ¡orgIve my pom-
pous wuy oI LuIkIng. ¡L Is reuIIy rIdIcuIousIy exuggere, especIuIIy us Iur us LIe 'gIorIes' go. ¡L Is noL
so grund us LIuL, noLIIng so very LIrIIIIng ubouL LIose gIorIes; ¡ um suyIng LIuL wIo uILer uII um
LIe son oI IILLIe peopIe, IIvIng In very IumbIe cIrcumsLunces, reuIIy miese, you know, Irom ¡ubIIn
In LIe mIddIe oI PoIund; oI reuIIy quILe IILLIe JewIsI purenLs - ¡ um u Jew, you musL know, und
¡ILeIberg Is u very ordInury, Iow-cIuss, PoIIsI-Germun-JewIsI nume; onIy ¡ Iuve mude IL LIe
nume oI u respecLed proLugonIsL oI uvunL-gurde cuILure, wIom greuL urLIsLs cuII LIeIr IrIend. C'esL
Iu verILe pure, sImpIe eL IrreIuLubIe. TIe reuson Is LIuL Irom my youLI up ¡ Iuve uspIred Lo IIgIer
LIIngs, more InLeIIecLuuI und InLeresLIng - ubove uII Lo wIuLever Is u noveILy und sensuLIon - LIe
scunduIous Loduy wIIcI Lomorrow wIII be LIe IusIIon, LIe dernIer crI, LIe besL-seIIer - In sIorL,
urL. A quI Ie dIs-je? Au commencemenL eLuIL Ie scunduIe.
"TIunk God, LIuL Iousy ¡ubIIn IIes Iur beIInd me. More LIun LwenLy yeurs ¡ Iuve been IIvIng In
PurIs - wIII you beIIeve IL, Ior u wIoIe yeur ¡ uLLended pIIIosopIy IecLures uL LIe Sorbonne! BuL u
Iu Iongue LIey bored me. NoL LIuL pIIIosopIy couIdn'L be u besL-seIIer Loo. ¡L couId. BuL Ior me IL
Is Loo ubsLrucL. And ¡ Iuve u vugue IeeIIng LIuL IL Is In Germuny one sIouId sLudy meLupIysIcs-
perIups LIe Herr ProIessor, my Ionoured vIs-u-vIs, wIII ugree wILI me... AILer LIuL ¡ Iud u IILLIe
bouIevurd LIeuLre, smuII, excIusIve, un creux, une peLILe cuverne Ior u Iundred peopIe, nomme
'TIeuLre des Iourbenes grucIeuses.' ¡sn'L LIuL u peucI oI u nume? BuL wIuL wouId you, LIe LIIng
wusn'L IInuncIuIIy possIbIe. So Iew seuLs, LIey Iud Lo be so IIgI-prIced, we Iud Lo muke presenLs
oI LIem. We were Iewd enougI, ¡ do ussure you; buL Loo IIgI-brow Loo, us LIey suy In EngIIsI.
Jumes Joyce, PIcusso, Ezru Pound, LIe DucIesse de CIermonL-Tonnere - IL wusn'L enougI oI un
uudIence. En un moL, LIe IourberIes grucIeuses Iud Lo IoId up uILer u sIorL seuson. BuL LIe
experImenL wus noL enLIreIy wILIouL IruIL, Ior IL Iud puL me In LoucI wILI LIe Ieuders oI LIe
urLIsLIc IIIe oI PurIs, puInLers, musIcIuns, wrILers. ¡n PurIs Loduy - even Iere ¡ muy suy IL - beuLs
LIe puIse oI LIe IIvIng worId; und In my posILIon us dIrecLor, IL opened Lo me LIe doors oI severuI
urIsLocruLIc suIons wIere uII LIese urLIsLs guLIered...
"PerIups LIuL surprIses you? PerIups you wIII suy 'How dId Ie do IL? How dId LIe IILLIe JewIsI
boy Irom LIe PoIIsI provInces munuge Lo move In on LIese IusLIdIous cIrcIes, uII umong LIe
creme de lc creme?' AI, genLIemen, noLIIng eusIer. How quIckIy one Ieurns Lo LIe u wIILe LIe, Lo
enLer u suIon wILI compIeLe noncIuIunce, even II IL goes u Iew sLeps down, und Lo IorgeL LIe
sensuLIon LIuL you don'L know wIuL Lo do wILI your Iunds! AILer LIuL you jusL keep on suyIng
'mudume': 'AI, mudume, O mudume, que pensez-vous, mudume; on me dIL, mudume, que vous
eLes Iunu-LIque de musIque?' TIuL Is us good us uII LIere Is Lo IL. BeIIeve me, Irom LIe ouLsIde
LIese LIIngs ure exuggere.
"EnIIn, ¡ cusIed In on LIe connecLIons ¡ owed Lo LIe ¡our-berIes, und LIey muILIpIIed wIen ¡
opened my ugency Ior LIe presenLuLIon oI conLemporury musIc. BesL oI uII, ¡ Iud Iound myseII,
Ior us ¡ sLund Iere, ¡ um u born ImpresurIo; ¡ cun'L IeIp IL, IL Is my joy und prIde, ¡ IInd my
suLIsIucLIon eL mes deIIces In dIscoverIng LuIenL, genIus, InLeresLIng personuIILIes, beuLIng LIe
drum, mukIng socIeLy mud wILI enLIusIusm or uL IeusL wILI excILemenL, Ior LIuL Is uII LIey usk, eL
nous nous renconLrons duns ce desIr. SocIeLy demunds Lo be excILed, cIuIIenged, Lorn In sunder
Ior und uguInsL; IL Is gruLeIuI Ior LIuL us Ior noLIIng eIse, Ior LIe dIversIon und LIe LurmoII quI
IournIL Ie sujeL Ior curIcuLures In LIe pupers und endIess, endIess cIuLLer. TIe wuy Lo Iume, In
PurIs, Ieuds LIrougI noLorIeLy - uL u proper premIere peopIe jump up severuI LImes durIng LIe
evenIng und yeII '¡nsuILe! ¡mpudence! BouIIonerIe IgnomInIeuse!' wIIIe sIx or seven InILIuLes,
ErIk SuLIe, u Iew surreuIIsLes, VIrgII TIomson, sIouL Irom LIe Ioges: 'QueIIe precIsIon! QueI
esprIL! C'esL dIvIn! C'esL supreme! Bruvo! Bruvo!'
"¡ Ieur ¡ sIock you, messIeurs - II noL MonsIeur ¡e Vercune, LIen perIups LIe Herr ProIessor.
BuL In LIe IIrsL pIuce ¡ IusLen Lo udd LIuL u concerL evenIng never yeL broke down In LIe mIddIe;
LIuL Is noL wIuL even LIe mosL ouLruged wunL uL boLLom; on LIe conLrury LIey wunL Lo go on beIng
ouLruged, LIuL Is wIuL mukes LIem enjoy LIe evenIng, und besIdes, remurkubIe us IL Is, LIe In-
Iormed mInorILy uIwuys commund LIe IeuvIer guns. OI course ¡ do noL meun LIuL every
perIormunce oI ouLsLundIng cIurucLer musL go us ¡ Iuve descrIbed IL. WILI proper pubIIcILy,
udequuLe InLImIduLIon beIoreIund, one cun guurunLee un enLIreIy dIgnIIIed resuIL; und In
purLIcuIur II one were Lo presenL Loduy u cILIzen oI u Iormer enemy nuLIon, u Germun, one couId
counL on un enLIreIy courLeous recepLIon Irom LIe pubIIc.
"TIuL Is Indeed LIe sound specuIuLIon upon wIIcI my proposILIon, my InvILuLIon Is bused. A
Germun, un bocIe quI pur son genIe uppurLIenL uu monde eL quI murcIe u Iu LeLe du progres mu-
sIcuI! TIuL Is Loduy u mosL pIquunL cIuIIenge Lo LIe curIosILy, LIe broud-mIndedness, LIe
snobIsme, LIe good breedIng oI LIe pubIIc - LIe more pIquunL, LIe Iess LIIs urLIsL dIsguIses IIs
nuLIonuI LruILs, IIs GermunIsme, LIe more Ie gIves occusIon Ior LIe cry: 'AI, cu c'esL bIen
uIIemund, pur exempIe!' ¡or LIuL you do, cIer MuILre, wIy noL suy so? You gIve LIIs occusIon
everywIere - noL so mucI In your begInnIngs, LIe LIme oI LIe Phosphorescence de lc mer und
your comIc operu, buL IuLer und more und more Irom work Lo work. NuLureIIemenL, you LIInk ¡
Iuve In mInd your IerocIous dIscIpIIne, und que vous encIuInez voLre urL duns un sysLeme de
regIes InexorubIes eL neo-cIussIques, IorcIng IL Lo move In LIese Iron bunds - II noL wILI gruce,
yeL wILI boIdness und esprIL. BuL II IL Is LIuL LIuL ¡ meun, ¡ meun uL LIe sume LIme more LIun LIuL
wIen ¡ speuk oI your quuIILe d'AIIemund; ¡ meun - Iow sIuII ¡ puL IL? - u cerLuIn Iour-
squureness, rIyLImIcuI IeuvIness, ImmobIIILy, grossIereLe, wIIcI ure oId-Germun - en eIIeL,
enLre nous, one IInds LIem In BucI Loo. WIII you Luke oIIence uL my crILIcIsm? Non, j'en suIs sur
- you ure Loo greuL. Your LIemes - LIey consIsL uImosL LIrougIouL oI even noLe vuIues, mInIms,
croLcIeLs, quuvers; Lrue enougI, LIey ure syncopuLed und LIed buL Ior uII LIuL LIey remuIn cIumsy
und unwIeIdy, oILen wILI u IummerIng, mucIIneIIke eIIecL. C'esL 'bocIe' duns un degre IuscInunL.
Don'L LIInk ¡ um IIndIng IuuIL, IL Is sImpIy enormemenL cIurucLerIsLIque, und In LIe serIes oI
concerLs oI InLernuLIonuI musIc wIIcI ¡ um urrungIng, LIIs noLe Is quILe IndIspensubIe...
"You see, ¡ um spreudIng ouL my mugIc cIouk. ¡ wIII Luke you Lo PurIs, Lo BrusseIs, AnLwerp,
VenIce, CopenIugen. You wIII be receIved wILI LIe InLensesL InLeresL. ¡ wIII puL LIe besL
orcIesLrus und soIoIsLs uL your servIce. You sIuII dIrecL LIe Phosphorescence, porLIons oI Lote's
Lcbour's Lost, your CosmoIogIc SympIony. You wIII uccompuny on LIe pIuno your songs by
¡rencI und EngIIsI poeLs und LIe wIoIe worId wIII be encIunLed LIuL u Germun, yesLerduy's Ioe,
dIspIuys LIIs broud-mIndedness In LIe cIoIce oI IIs LexLs - ce cosmopoIILIsnIe genereux eL
versuLIIe! My IrIend Mudume MuIu de SLrozzI-PecIc, u CrouLIun, Loduy perIups LIe mosL beuuLIIuI
sopruno voIce In LIe Lwo IemIspIeres, wIII consIder IL un Ionour Lo sIng your songs. ¡or LIe
InsLrumenLuI purL oI KeuLs's Iymns ¡ wIII enguge LIe ¡IonzuIey QuurLeL Irom Genevu or LIe Pro
ArLe Irom BrusseIs. TIe very besL oI LIe besL - ure you suLIsIIed?
"WIuL do ¡ Ieur - you do noL conducL? You don'L? And you wouId noL pIuy pIuno? You decIIne
Lo uccompuny your own songs? ¡ undersLund. CIer MuILre, je vous comprends u demI-moL! ¡L Is
noL your wuy Lo IInger wILI LIe IInIsIed work. ¡or you LIe doIng oI u work Is ILs perIormunce, IL Is
done wIen IL Is wrILLen down. You do noL pIuy IL, you do noL conducL IL, Ior you wouId
sLruIgILwuy cIunge IL, resoIve IL In vurIuLIons und vurIunLs, deveIop IL IurLIer und perIups spoII
IL. How weII ¡ undersLund! MuIs c'esL dommuge, pourLunL. TIe concerLs wIII suIIer u decIded Ioss
oI personuI uppeuI. AI, buI, we musL see wIuL we cun do. We musL Iook ubouL umong LIe worId-
Iumous conducLors Lo InLerpreL - we sIuII noL need Lo Iook Iong. TIe permunenL uccompunIsL oI
Mudume de SLrozzI-PecIc wIII Luke over Ior LIe songs, und II onIy you, MuILre, ure sImpIy presenL
und sIow yourseII Lo LIe pubIIc, noLIIng wIII be IosL, everyLIIng wIII be guIned.
"BuL LIuL Is LIe condILIon - uI, non! You cunnoL InIIIcL upon me LIe perIormunce oI your
works in cbsentic. Your personuI uppeurunce Is IndIspensubIe, purLIcuIIeremenL u PurIs, wIere
musIcuI renown Is mude In LIree or Iour suIons. WIuL does IL cosL you Lo suy u Iew LImes: 'TouL Ie
monde suIL, mudume, que voLre jugemenL musIcuI esL InIuIIIIbIe?' ¡L cosLs you noLIIng und you
wIII Iuve u IoL oI suLIsIucLIon Irom IL. As socIuI evenLs my producLIons runk nexL uILer LIe
premIeres oI DIugIIIev's BuIIeL Russe - II LIey do runk uILer LIem. You wouId be InvILed ouL
every evenIng. NoLIIng Iurder, generuIIy speukIng, LIun geLLIng InLo reuI PurIs socIeLy. BuL Ior un
urLIsL noLIIng Is eusIer, even II Ie Is onIy sLundIng In LIe vesLIbuIe Lo Iume, ¡ meun LIe
sensuLIonuI uppeuI. CurIosILy IeveIs every burrIer, IL knocks LIe excIusIve rIgIL ouL oI LIe IIeId...
"BuL wIy do ¡ LuIk so mucI ubouL eIegunL socIeLy und ILs ILcIes? ¡ cun see LIuL ¡ um noL
succeedIng In kIndIIng your curIosILy, cIer MuILre. How couId ¡? ¡ Iuve noL serIousIy been LryIng
Lo. WIuL do you cure ubouL eIegunL socIeLy? EnLre nous, wIuL do ¡ cure ubouL IL? ¡or busIness
reusons - LIIs und LIuL. BuL personuIIy? NoL LIuL mucI. TIIs mIIIeu, LIIs PIeIIIenng und your
presence, MuILre, do noL u IILLIe Lo muke me reuIIze my IndIIIerence, my conLempL, Ior LIuL worId
oI IrIvoIILy und superIIcIuIILy.
DILes-moI done: don'L you come Irom KuIsersuscIern on LIe SuuIe? WIuL u serIous, dIgnIIIed
pIuce oI orIgIn! WeII, Ior me, ¡ cuII ¡ubIIn my bIrLIpIuce - IIkewIse u dIgnIIIed spoL und grey wILI
uge, Irom wIIcI one currIes InLo IIIe u Iund oI severILe, un eLuL d'ume soIenneI eL un peu guucIe...
AI, ¡ um LIe IusL person Lo wunL Lo gIorIIy eIegunL socIeLy Lo you. BuL PurIs wIII gIve you LIe
cIunce Lo muke LIe mosL InLeresLIng und sLImuIuLIng conLucLs umong your broLIers In ApoIIo,
umong LIe sons oI LIe Muses, your uspIrIng coIIeugues und peers, puInLers, wrILers, sLurs oI LIe
buIIeL, ubove uII musIcIuns. TIe summILs oI Europeun LrudILIon und experImenL, LIey ure uII my
IrIends, und LIey ure reudy Lo be yours. Jeun CocLeuu LIe poeL, MussIne LIe buIIeL-musLer,
MunueI de ¡uIIu LIe composer, ¡es SIx, LIe sIx greuL ones oI LIe new musIc - LIIs wIoIe
eIevuLed, uuducIous, umusIng, uggressIve spIere, IL wuILs onIy Ior you, you beIong Lo IL, us soon us
ever you wIII...
"¡s IL possIbIe LIuL ¡ reud In your munner u cerLuIn resIsLunce even Lo LIuL? BuL Iere, cIer
MuILre, every sIyness, every emburrus Is reuIIy quILe ouL oI pIuce - wIuLever muy be LIe ground
Ior sucI IubILs oI secIusIon. ¡ um Iur Irom seurcIIng Ior grounds; LIuL LIey exIsL Is quILe enougI
Ior my cuILIvuLed und ¡ muy suy respecLIuI percepLIons. TIIs PIeIIIerIng, ce reIuge eLrunge eL ere-
mILIque - LIere musL be some pecuIIur und InLeresLIng psycIoIogIcuI ussocIuLIon: ¡ do noL usk, ¡
consIder uII possIbIIILIes, ¡ IrunkIy brIng LIem uII up, even LIe mosL IunLusLIc. EI bIen, wIuL LIen?
¡s LIuL u reuson Ior emburrus, In u spIere wIere LIere reIgns unIImILed Ireedom Irom prejudIce?
A Ireedom Irom prejudIce wIIcI Ior ILs purL Ius ILs own good reusons Loo? OI, Iu, Iu! SucI u
cIrcIe oI urbILers eIegunLIurum und socIeLy cIeer-Ieuders Is usuuIIy un ussorLmenL oI demI-Ious
excenLrIques, expended souIs und eIderIy crupuIes - un ImpresurIo, e'esL un espece d'InIIrmIer,
voIIu!
"And now you see Iow budIy ¡ conducL my uIIuIr, In wIuL uLLerIy muIudroIL IusIIon! TIuL ¡
poInL IL ouL Is uII LIuL speuks In my Iuvour. WILI LIe Ideu oI encourugIng you ¡ unger your prIde
und work wILI my eyes open uguInsL my InLeresLs. ¡or ¡ LeII myseII, oI course, LIuL peopIe IIke you
- LIougI ¡ sIouId speuk noL oI peopIe IIke you, buL onIy oI yourseII- you regurd your exIsLence,
your destin us someLIIng unIque und consIder IL Loo sucred Lo Iump IL In wILI unyone eIse's. You
do noL wunL Lo Ieur ubouL oLIer destinees, onIy ubouL your own, us someLIIng quILe unIque - ¡
know, ¡ undersLund. You ubIor uII generuIIzIng, cIussIIyIng, subsumIng, us u deroguLIon oI your
dIgnILy. You InsIsL on LIe IncompurubIeness oI LIe personuI cuse. You puy LrIbuLe Lo un urrogunL
personuI unIqueness - muybe you Iuve Lo do LIuL. 'Does one IIve wIen oLIers IIve?' ¡ Iuve reud
LIuL quesLIon somewIere, ¡ um noL sure precIseIy wIere, buL In some very promInenL pIuce.
PrIvuLeIy or pubIIcIy you uII usk IL; onIy ouL oI good munners und Ior uppeurunce' suke do you
Luke noLIce oI eucI oLIer - II you do Luke noLIce oI eucI oLIer. WoII, BruIms, und Bruckner IIved
Ior yeurs In LIe sume Lown - VIennu, LIuL Is - buL uvoIded eucI oLIer LIe wIoIe LIme und none
oI LIem, so Iur us ¡ know, ever meL LIe oLIers. ¡L wouId Iuve been penIbIe Loo, consIderIng LIeIr
opInIons oI eucI oLIer. TIey dId noL judge or crILIcIze IIke coIIeugues; LIeIr commenLs were
meunL Lo unnIIIIuLe, Lo Ieuve LIeIr uuLIor uIone In LIe IIeId. BruIms LIougIL us IILLIe us possIbIe
oI Bruckner's sympIonIes, Ie cuIIed LIem Iuge sIupeIess serpenLs. And Bruckner's opInIon oI
BruIms wus very Iow. He Iound LIe IIrsL LIeme oI LIe D-mInor ConcerLo very good, buL usserLed
LIuL BruIms never cume neur InvenLIng unyLIIng so good u second LIme. You don'L wunL Lo know
unyLIIng oI eucI oLIer. ¡or WoII BruIms meunL Ie dernIer ennuI. And Iuve you ever reud IIs crI-
LIque oI Bruckner's SevenLI In LIe VIennu Sclonblcttt TIere you Iuve IIs opInIon oI LIe mun's
ImporLunce. He cIurged IIm wILI 'Iuck oI InLeIIIgence' - uvec queIque ruIson, Ior Bruckner wus
oI course wIuL one cuIIs u sImpIe, cIIIdIIke souI, wIoIIy gIven Lo IIs mujesLIc IIgured-buss musIc
und u compIeLe IdIoL In uII muLLers oI Europeun cuILure. BuL II one Iuppens on cerLuIn uLLerunces
oI WoII ubouL DosLoyevsky, In IIs IeLLers, quI sonL sImpIemenL sLupeIIunL, one Is drIven Lo usk
wIuL kInd oI mInd Ie Iud IImseII. TIe LexL oI IIs unIInIsIed operu Mcnuel Veneçcs, wIIcI u
cerLuIn Dr. Homes Ius resLored, Ie cuIIed u wonder, SIukespeurIun, LIe IeIgIL oI poeLIc creuLIon,
und becume oIIensIve wIen IrIends expressed LIeIr doubLs. Moreover, noL suLIsIIed wILI
composIng u Iymn Ior muIe voIces, To the Ictherlcnd, Ie wunLed Lo dedIcuLe IL Lo LIe Germun
KuIser. WIuL do you suy Lo LIuL? TIe memorIuI wus rejecLed. TouL ceIu esL un peu emburrussunL,
n'esL-ce pus? Une conIusIon LrugIque.
"TrugIque, messIeurs. ¡ cuII IL LIuL, becuuse In my opInIon LIe unIuppIness oI LIe worId resLs
on LIe dIsunILy oI LIe InLeIIecL, LIe sLupIdILy, LIe Iuck oI compreIensIon, wIIcI sepuruLes ILs
spIeres Irom eucI oLIer. Wugner poured scorn on LIe pIcLuresque ImpressIonIsm oI IIs LIme,
cuIIIng IL uII 'duubs' - Ie wus sLernIy conservuLIve In LIuL IIeId. EuL IIs own IurmonIc
producLIons Iuve u IoL Lo do wILI ImpressIonIsm, LIey Ieud up Lo IL und us dIssonunces oILen go
beyond LIe ImpressIonIsLIc. AguInsL LIe PurIs duubers Ie seL up TILIun us LIe Lrue und LIe good.
A Iu bonne Ieure! BuL ucLuuIIy IIs LusLe In urL wus more IIkeIy somewIere beLween PIIoLy und
MukurL, LIe InvenLor oI LIe decoruLIve bouqueL; wIIIe TILIun wus more In ¡enbucI's IIne, und
¡enbucI Iud un undersLundIng oI Wugner LIuL mude IIm cuII Pcrsijcl musIc-IuII sLuII - Lo LIe
MusLer's very Iuce. AI, uI, comme c'esL meIuncIoIIque, LouL cu!
"GenLIemen, ¡ Iuve been rumbIIng IrIgILIuIIy. ¡ meun ¡ Iuve wundered Irom my subjecL und
my purpose. Tuke my gurruIILy us un expressIon oI LIe IucL LIuL ¡ Iuve gIven up LIe Ideu LIuL
brougIL me Iere. ¡ Iuve convInced myseII LIuL IL Is noL possIbIe. You wIII noL seL IooL on my
mugIc cIouk. ¡ um noL Lo InLroduce you Lo LIe worId us your enLrepreneur. You decIIne, und LIuL
ougIL Lo be u bIgger dIsuppoInLmenL Lo me LIun IL ucLuuIIy Is. SInceremenL, ¡ usk myseII wIeLIer
IL reuIIy Is one uL uII. One muy come Lo PIeIIIerIng wILI u prucLIcuI purpose In mInd - buL LIuL
musL uIwuys Luke second pIuce. One comes, even II one Is un ImpresurIo, IIrsL oI uII Lo suIuLe u
greuL mun. No IuIIure on LIe prucLIcuI sIde cun decreuse LIIs pIeusure, especIuIIy wIen u good
purL oI IL consIsLs In LIe dIsuppoInLmenL. So IL Is, cIer MuILre: your InuccessIbIIILy gIves me
umong oLIer LIIngs suLIsIucLIon us weII; LIuL Is due Lo LIe undersLundIng, LIe sympuLIy wIIcI ¡
InvoIunLurIIy IeeI Lowurds IL. ¡ do so uguInsL my own InLeresLs, buL ¡ do IL - us u Iumun beIng, ¡
mIgIL suy, II LIuL were noL Loo Iurge u cuLegory; perIups ¡ ougIL Lo express myseII more
specIIIcuIIy.
"You probubIy do noL reuIIze, cIer MuILre, Iow Germun Is your repugnunce, wIIcI, II you wIII
permIL me Lo speuk en psycIoIogy, ¡ IInd cIurucLerIsLIcuIIy mude up oI urrogunce und u sense oI
InIerIorILy, oI scorn und Ieur. ¡ mIgIL cuII IL LIe ressenLImenL oI LIe serIous-mInded uguInsL LIe
suIon worId. WeII, ¡ um u Jew, you know, ¡ILeIberg Is undenIubIy u JewIsI nume. ¡ Iuve LIe OId
TesLumenL In my bones, u LIIng no Iess serIous-mInded LIun beIng Germun Is, und noL conducIve
Lo u LusLe Ior LIe spIere oI LIe vuIse brIIIunLe. ¡n Germuny LIe supersLILIon prevuIIs LIuL LIere Is
noLIIng buL vuIse brIIIunLe ouLsIde ILs borders und noLIIng buL serIous-mIndedness InsIde LIem.
And sLIII, us u Jew one IeeIs scepLIcuI Lowurds LIe worId, und Ieuns Lo Germun serIous-mInded-
ness - uL LIe rIsk, oI course, oI geLLIng kIcked In LIe punLs Ior one's puIns. To be Germun, LIuL
meuns ubove uII Lo be nuLIonuI - und wIo expecLs u Jew Lo be nuLIonuIIsLIc? NoL onIy LIuL
nobody wouId beIIeve IIm, buL everybody wouId busI IIs Ieud In Ior IuvIng LIe Impudence Lo
Lry IL on. We Jews Iuve everyLIIng Lo Ieur Irom LIe Germun cIurucLer, quI esL essenLIeIIemenL
unLIsemILIque; und LIuL Is reuson enougI, oI course, Ior us Lo pIump Ior LIe worIdIy sIde und
urrunge sensuLIonuI enLerLuInmenLs. ¡L does noL IoIIow LIuL we ure wIndbugs, or LIuL we Iuve
IuIIen on our Ieuds. We perIecLIy weII know LIe dIIIerence beLween Gounod's Icust und
GoeLIe's, even wIen we speuk ¡rencI, LIen Loo...
"GenLIemen, ¡ suy uII LIuL onIy ouL oI pure resIgnuLIon. On LIe busIness sIde we Iuve suId
everyLIIng. ¡ um us good us gone; ¡ Iuve LIe door-IundIe In my Iund, we Iuve goL up, ¡ um sLIII
runnIng on jusL pour prendre conge. Gounod's Icust, genLIemen - wIo Lurns up IIs nose uL IL?
NoL ¡, und noL you, ¡ um gIud Lo know. A peurI - u murguerILe, IuII oI LIe mosL ruvIsIIng musIcuI
InvenLIons. ¡uIsse-moI, IuIsse-moI conLempIer - encIunLIng! MusseneL Is encIunLIng, Ie Loo. He
musL Iuve been purLIcuIurIy cIurmIng us u LeucIer - us proIessor uL LIe ConservuLoIre, LIere ure
IILLIe sLorIes ubouL IL. ¡rom LIe begInnIng IIs pupIIs In composILIon were urged Lo produce, no
muLLer wIeLIer or noL LIey were LecInIcuIIy ubIe Lo wrILe u movemenL Iree Irom IIuws. Humune,
n'esL-ce pus? NoL Germun, IL Isn'L, buL Iumune. A Iud cume Lo IIm wILI u song jusL composed -
IresI, sIowIng some LuIenL. 'TIens,' suys MusseneL, 'LIuL Is reuIIy quILe nIce. ¡IsLen, oI course you
musL Iuve u IILLIe IrIend; pIuy IL Lo Ier, sIe wIII cerLuInIy Iove IL und LIe resL wIII Iuppen oI ILseII.'
¡L Is noL cerLuIn wIuL Ie meunL by 'LIe resL,' probubIy vurIous LIIngs, boLI Iove und urL. Huve you
pupIIs, MusLer? TIey wouIdn'L be so IorLunuLe. BuL you Iuve none. Bruckner Iud some. He Iud
Irom LIe IIrsL wresLIed wILI musIc und ILs sucred dIIIIcuILIes, IIke Jucob wILI LIe ungeI, und Ie
demunded LIe sume Irom IIs pupIIs. Yeurs on end LIey Iud Lo prucLIse LIe sucred cruIL, LIe
IundumenLuIs oI Iurmony und LIe sLrIcL sLyIe beIore LIey were uIIowed Lo muke u song, und LIIs
musIc-LeucIIng Iud noL LIe IuInLesL connecLIon wILI uny IILLIe IrIend. A mun muy Iuve u sImpIe,
cIIIdIIke LemperumenL; buL musIc Is LIe mysLerIous reveIuLIon oI LIe IIgIesL wIsdom, u dIvIne
servIce, und LIe proIessIon oI musIc-LeucIer u prIesLIy oIIIce...
"Comme c'esL respecLubIe! Pus prccIsemenL IumuIn muIs exLrememenL respecLubIe. WIy
sIouId we Jews, wIo ure u prIesLIy peopIe, even wIen we ure mInuuderIng ubouL In PurIsIun
suIons, noL IeeI druwn Lo LIe Germuns und IeL ourseIves Ieun Lo LIe Germun sIde und un IronIc
vIew, us uguInsL LIe worId, uguInsL urL Ior LIe IILLIe IrIend? ¡n us nuLIonuIIsm wouId be
ImperLInenL enougI Lo provoke u pogrom. We ure InLernuLIonuI - buL we ure pro-Germun, IIke
nobody eIse In LIe worId, sImpIy becuuse we cun'L IeIp perceIvIng LIe roIe oI Germuny und
JuduIsm on eurLI. Une unuIogIe IruppunLe! ¡n jusL LIe sume wuy LIey ure boLI IuLed, despIsed,
Ieured, envIed, In LIe sume meusure LIey uIIenuLe und ure uIIenuLed. PeopIe LuIk ubouL LIe uge oI
nuLIonuIIsm. BuL ucLuuIIy LIere ure onIy Lwo nuLIonuIIsms, LIe Germun und LIe JewIsI, und uII
LIe resL Is cIIId's pIuy. - ¡s noL LIe downrIgIL ¡rencIness oI un AnuLoIe ¡runce LIe puresL
cosmopoIILunIsm uIongsIde Germun IsoIuLIon In LIe subjecLIve und LIe JewIsI conceIL oI LIe
cIosen ruce... ¡runce - u nuLIonuIIsLIc pseudonym. A Germun wrILer couId noL weII cuII IImseII
DeuLscIIund, sucI u nume one gIves Lo u buLLIesIIp. He Ius Lo conLenL IImseII wILI DeuLscI-
und LIuL Is u JewIsI nume, oI Iu, Iu.
"GenLIemen, LIIs Is now reuIIy LIe door-knob. ¡ um uIreudy ouLsIde. ¡ musL jusL suy one more
LIIng. TIe Germuns sIouId Ieuve IL Lo LIe Jews Lo be pro-Germun. WILI LIeIr nuLIonuIIsm, LIeIr
prIde, LIeIr IoIbIe oI 'dIIIerenLness,' LIeIr IuLred oI beIng puL In order und equuIIzed, LIeIr reIusuI
Lo IeL LIemseIves be InLroduced InLo LIe worId und udopLed socIuIIy, LIey wIII geL InLo LroubIe,
reuI JewIsI LroubIe, je vous Ie jure. TIe Germuns sIouId IeL LIe Jew be LIe medIuLeur beLween
LIem und socIeLy, be LIe munuger, LIe ImpresurIo. He Is uILogeLIer LIe rIgIL mun Ior IL, one
sIouId noL Lurn IIm ouL, Ie Is InLernuLIonuI, und Ie Is pro-Germun. MuIs c'esL en vuIn. EL c'esL
Lres dommuge! Am ¡ sLIII LuIkIng? No, ¡ IeIL Iong ugo. CIer MuILre, j'eLuIs encIunLe. J'uI munque
mu mIssIon buL ¡ um deIIgILed. Mes respecLs, monsIeur Ie proIesseur. Vous m'uvez ussIsLe Lrop
peu, muIs je ne vous en veux pus. MIIIe cIoses u Mudume ScIweI-ge-sLIII. AdIeu, udIeu... "

CHAPTIR XXXVIII
My reuders ure uwure LIuL AdrIun In LIe end compIIed wILI RudI ScIwerdLIeger's Iong-
cIerIsIed und expressed desIre, und wroLe Ior IIm u vIoIIn concerLo oI IIs own. He dedIcuLed Lo
RudI personuIIy LIe brIIIIunL composILIon, so exLruordInurIIy suILed Lo u vIoIIn LecInIque, und
even uccompunIed IIm Lo VIennu Ior LIe IIrsL perIormunce. ¡n ILs pIuce ¡ sIuII speuk ubouL LIe
cIrcumsLunce LIuL some monLIs IuLer, Lowurds LIe end oI 1qzq, Ie wus presenL uL LIe IuLer
perIormunces In Berne und ZurIcI. BuL IIrsL ¡ sIouId IIke Lo dIscuss wILI ILs very serIous
ImpIIcuLIons my eurIIer, perIups premuLure - perIups, comIng Irom me, unIILLIng - crILIque oI
LIe concerLo. ¡ suId LIuL IL IuIIs somewIuL ouL oI LIe Irume oI ¡everkuIn's ruLIIessIy rudIcuI und
uncompromIsIng work us u wIoIe. And ¡ suggesLed LIuL LIIs wus due Lo u kInd oI concessIon Lo
concerL vIrLuosILy us sIown In LIe musIcuI uLLILude oI LIe pIece. ¡ cunnoL IeIp LIInkIng LIuL
posLerILy wIII ugree wILI my "judgmenL"- my God, Iow ¡ IuLe LIe word! - und wIuL ¡ um doIng
Iere Is sImpIy gIvIng LIe psycIoIogIcuI expIunuLIon oI u pIenomenon Lo wIIcI LIe key wouId
oLIerwIse be IuckIng.
TIere Is one sLrunge LIIng ubouL LIe pIece: cusL In LIree movemenLs, IL Ius no key-sIgnuLure,
buL, II ¡ muy so express myseII, LIree tonclities ure buIIL InLo IL: B-IIuL mujor, C mujor, und D mu-
jor, oI wIIcI, us u musIcIun cun see, LIe D mujor Iorms u sorL oI secondury domInunL, LIe B-IIuL
mujor u subdomInunL, wIIIe LIe C mujor keeps LIe sLrIcL mIddIe. Now beLween LIese keys LIe
work pIuys mosL IngenIousIy, so LIuL Ior mosL oI LIe LIme none oI LIem cIeurIy comes InLo Iorce
buL Is onIy IndIcuLed by ILs proporLIonuI sIure In LIe generuI sound-compIex. TIrougIouL Iong
und compIIcuLed secLIons uII LIree ure superImposed one ubove LIe oLIer, unLII uL IusL, In u wuy
eIecLrIIyIng Lo uny concerL uudIence, C mujor openIy und LrIumpIunLIy decIures ILseII. TIere, In
LIe IIrsL movemenL, InscrIbed "cndcnte cmoroso," oI u duIceL Lenderness borderIng on mockery,
LIere Is u IeudIng cIord wIIcI Lo my eur Ius someLIIng ¡rencI ubouL IL: c, g, e, b-IIuL, d, I-sIurp,
u, u Iurmony wIIcI, wILI LIe IIgI I oI LIe vIoIIn ubove IL, conLuIns, us one sees, LIe LonIc cIords
oI LIose LIree muIn keys. Here one Ius, so Lo speuk, LIe souI oI LIe work, uIso one Ius In IL LIe
souI oI LIe muIn LIeme oI LIIs movemenL, wIIcI Is Luken up uguIn In LIe LIIrd, u guy serIes oI
vurIuLIons. ¡n ILs wuy IL Is u wonderIuI sLroke oI meIodIc InvenLIon, u rIcI, InLoxIcuLIng cunLIIenu
oI greuL breudLI, wIIcI decIdedIy Ius someLIIng sIowy ubouL IL, und uIso u meIuncIoIy LIuL does
noL Iuck In gruce II LIe perIormer so InLerpreL IL. TIe cIurucLerIsLIcuIIy deIIgILIuI LIIng ubouL LIe
InvenLIon Is LIe unexpecLed und subLIy uccenLuuLed rIse oI LIe meIodIc IIne uILer reucIIng u
cerLuIn IIgI cIImux, by u IurLIer sLep, Irom wIIcI LIen, LreuLed In LIe mosL perIecL, perIups uII
Loo perIecL LusLe, IL IIuLes und sIngs ILseII uwuy. ¡L Is one oI LIose pIysIcuIIy eIIecLIve
munIIesLuLIons cupLurIng Ieud und sIouIders, borderIng on LIe "IeuvenIy," oI wIIcI onIy musIc
und no oLIer urL Is cupubIe. And LIe LuLLI-gIorIIIcuLIon oI jusL LIIs LIeme In LIe IusL purL oI LIe
vurIuLIon movemenL brIngs LIe bursLIng ouL InLo LIe open C mujor. BuL jusL beIore IL comes u
boId IIourIsI - u pIuIn remInIscence oI LIe IIrsL vIoIIn purL IeudIng Lo LIe IInuIe oI BeeLIoven's A-
mInor QuurLeL; onIy LIuL Iere LIe mugnIIIcenL pIruse Is IoIIowed by someLIIng dIIIerenL, u IeusL
oI meIody In wIIcI LIe purody oI beIng currIed uwuy becomes u pussIon wIIcI Is serIousIy meunL
und LIereIore creuLes u somewIuL emburrussIng eIIecL.
¡ know LIuL ¡everküIn, beIore composIng LIe pIece, sLudIed very cureIuIIy LIe munugemenL oI
LIe vIoIIn In BerIoL, VIeuxLemps, und WIenIuwskI und LIen uppIIed IIs knowIedge In u wuy IuII-
respecLIuI, IuII curIcuLure und moreover wILI sucI u cIuIIenge Lo LIe LecInIque oI LIe pIuyer -
especIuIIy In LIe exLremeIy ubundoned und vIrLuoso mIddIe movemenL, u scIerzo, wIereIn LIere
Is u quoLuLIon Irom TurLInI's DevII's TrIII SonuLu - LIuL LIe good RudI Iud IIs work cuL ouL Lo be
equuI Lo LIe demunds upon IIm. Beuds oI sweuL sLood ouL beneuLI IIs bIond Iocks every LIme Ie
perIormed IL, und LIe wIILes oI IIs preLLy uzure eyes were bIoodsIoL. BuL Iow mucI Ie goL ouL oI
IL, Iow mucI opporLunILy Ior "IIIrLuLIon" In u IeIgILened sense oI LIe word, Iuy In u work wIIcI ¡
Lo LIe MusLer's very Iuce cuIIed "LIe upoLIeosIs oI suIon musIc"! ¡ wus, oI course, cerLuIn
beIoreIund LIuL Ie wouId noL Luke LIe descrIpLIon umIss, buL uccepL IL wILI u smIIe.
¡ cunnoL LIInk oI LIuL IybrId producLIon wILIouL recuIIIng u conversuLIon wIIcI Look pIuce one
evenIng uL LIe Iome oI BuI-IInger, LIe MunIcI munuIucLurer. BuIIInger, us we know, occupIed
LIe bel etcçe oI un eIegunL upurLmenL-Iouse Ie Iud buIIL In WIedemuyersLrusse; beneuLI ILs
wIndows LIe ¡sur, LIuL uncorrupLed gIucIuI sLreum, purIed pusL In ILs weII-reguIuLed bed. TIe
Croesus enLerLuIned some IIILeen guesLs uL seven-o'cIock dInner; Ie kepL open Iouse, wILI u
LruIned sLuII, und u Iudy Iousekeeper wIo presIded wILI uIIecLedIy eIegunL munners und
obvIousIy wouId Iuve IIked Lo murry. TIe guesLs were mosLIy peopIe In LIe IInuncIuI und busIness
worId. BuL IL wus known LIuL BuIIInger Ioved Lo uIr IIs vIews uL Iurge In InLeIIecLuuI cIrcIes; und
on occusIon Ie wouId guLIer u seIecLIon oI urLIsLIc und ucudemIc eIemenLs Ior un evenIng In IIs
ugreeubIe quurLers. No one, myseII IncIuded, ¡ conIess, suw uny reuson Lo despIse IIs cuIsIne or
LIe spucIous umenILIes oI IIs druwIng-rooms us u seLLIng Ior sLImuIuLIng dIscussIon.
TIIs LIme LIe group consIsLed oI JeuneLLe ScIeurI, Herr und ¡ruu KnoLerIcI, ScIIIdknupp,
RudI ScIwerdLIeger, ZInk und SpengIer, KrunIcI LIe numIsmuLIsL, RudbrucI LIe pubIIsIer und
IIs wIIe, LIe ucLress ZwILscIer, LIe Iurce-wrILer Irom BukovInu, wIose nume wus BInder-
Mujoresku, myseII und my deur wIIe. AdrIun, urged by me und uIso by ScIIIdknupp und
ScIwerdLIeger, wus LIere Loo. ¡ do noL InquIre wIose pIeu Iud been decIsIve, nor do ¡ IIuLLer
myseII In LIe IeusL LIuL IL wus mIne. AL LubIe Ie suL nexL JeuneLLe, wIose socIeLy wus uIwuys u
comIorL Lo IIm, und Ie suw oLIer IumIIIur Iuces ubouL IIm us weII; so Ie seemed noL Lo regreL
IuvIng yIeIded buL ruLIer Lo Iuve enjoyed LIe LIree Iours oI IIs sLuy. ¡ remurked uguIn wILI
unspoken umusemenL LIe InvoIunLury uLLenLIon und more or Iess LImId reverence puId Lo IIm.
AILer uII, Ie wus onIy LIIrLy-nIne yeurs oId, und besIdes, buL Iew oI LIe guesLs presenL possessed
enougI musIcuI knowIedge Ior sucI un uLLILude on uny ruLIonuI grounds. ¡L umused me, ¡ suy; yeL
guve me u pung uL my IeurL us weII. ¡or LIe beIuvIour oI LIese peopIe wus reuIIy due Lo LIe
IndescrIbubIe uLmospIere oI uIooIness wIIcI Ie currIed ubouL wIerever Ie wenL. ¡n IncreusIng
degree, more und more percepLIbIe und buIIIIng us LIe yeurs wenL by, IL wrupped IIm round und
guve one LIe IeeIIng LIuL Ie cume Irom u counLry wIere nobody eIse IIved.
TIIs evenIng, us ¡ suId, Ie seemed quILe comIorLubIe; Ie wus even conversuLIonuI, wIIcI ¡
uscrIbed In some degree Lo LIe eIIecL oI BuIIInger's cIumpugne-und-bILLers cockLuII und IIs
wonderIuI PIuIz wIne. AdrIun LuIked wILI SpengIer, wIo wus uIreudy In wreLcIed IeuILI, IIs
dIseuse IuvIng uLLucked IIs IeurL, und IuugIed wILI LIe resL oI us uL LIe cIownerIes oI ¡eo ZInk,
wIo Ieuned buck uL LubIe und covered IImseII wILI IIs Iuge dumusk servIeLLe IIke u sIeeL up Lo
IIs IunLusLIc nose und IoIded IIs Iunds peuceIuIIy uLop. AdrIun wus even more umused by LIe
jesLer's udroILness wIen we were cuIIed on Lo Iook uL u weII-InLenLIoned sLIII-IIIe by BuIIInger,
wIo dubbIed In oIIs. To suve LIe compuny LIe emburrussmenL oI crILIcIzIng IL, ZInk exumIned LIe
puInLIng wILI u LIousund uccIumuLIons und Good-grucIouses wIIcI mIgIL meun unyLIIng und
noLIIng; Iooked uL IL Irom every poInL oI vIew und even Lurned IL over und Iooked uL LIe buck.
TIIs gusI oI ecsLuLIc yeL wIoIIy meunIngIess verbIuge wus ZInk's socIuI LecInIque; uL boLLom Ie
wus noL u pIeusunL mun, und LIIs wus IIs wuy oI LukIng purL In conversuLIons LIuL wenL over IIs
Ieud us dIIeLLunLe puInLer und enLIusIusL oI curnIvuI buIIs. He even prucLIsed IL In LIe con-
versuLIon ¡ Iuve In mInd, LoucIIng LIe IIeIds oI uesLIeLIcs und eLIIcs.
¡L deveIoped us u sequeI Lo some grumopIone musIc wILI wIIcI LIe IosL reguIed us uILer LIe
coIIee, us we smoked und drunk IIqueurs. Very good grumopIone records Iud begun Lo be pro-
duced, und BuIIInger pIuyed severuI enjoyubIe ones Ior us Irom IIs vuIuubIe cubIneL: LIe weII-
recorded wuILzes Irom Gounod's Icust cume IIrsL, ¡ remember. BupLIsL SpengIer couId onIy crILI-
cIze LIem on LIe ground LIuL LIey were druwIng-room musIc, mucI Loo eIegunL Ior IoIk-dunces
on LIe meudow. ¡L wus ugreed LIuL LIeIr sLyIe wus more suILubIe In LIe cuse oI LIe cIurmIng buII-
musIc In BerIIoz's Sçmphonie jcntcstique und we usked Lo Ieur u record oI LIe IuLLer. ¡L wus noL
LIere; buL RudI ScIIerdLIeger wIIsLIed LIe uIr IuuILIessIy, In vIoIIn LImbre, pure und perIecL, und
IuugIed uL LIe uppIuuse, sIruggIng IIs sIouIder InsIde IIs couL, In LIe wuy Ie Iud, und druwIng
down one corner oI IIs mouLI In u grImuce. By wuy oI compurIson wILI LIe ¡rencI somebody
now demunded someLIIng VIennese: ¡unner, JoIunn SLruuss LIe younger. Our IosL guve us
wIIIIngIy Irom IIs sLore, unLII u Iudy - IL wus ¡ruu RudbrucI, LIe pubIIsIer's wIIe - suggesLed
LIuL wILI uII LIIs IrIvoIous sLuII we mIgIL be borIng LIe greuL composer wIo wus presenL.
Everybody, In concern, ugreed wILI Ier; AdrIun, wIo Iud noL undersLood, usked wIuL sIe Iud
suId. WIen IL wus repeuLed Ie mude IIveIy proLesL. ¡n God's nume no, LIuL wus uII u mIsLuke. No
one couId Luke more pIeusure LIun Ie In LIese LIIngs - In LIeIr wuy LIey were musLerIy.
"You underesLImuLe my musIcuI educuLIon," suId Ie. "¡n my eurIy duys ¡ Iud u LeucIer" (Ie
Iooked ucross uL me wILI IIs deep, subLIe, IoveIy smIIe) "crummed IuII oI LIe wIoIe worId oI
sound; u bubbIIng enLIusIusL, Loo mucI In Iove wILI every, ¡ reuIIy meun every, orgunIzed noIse,
Ior me Lo Iuve Ieurned uny conLempL Irom IIm. TIere wus no sucI LIIng us beIng 'Loo good' Ior
uny sorL oI musIc. A mun wIo knew LIe besL, LIe IIgIesL und uusLeresL; buL Ior IIm musIc wus
musIc - II IL jusL wus musIc. He objecLed Lo GoeLIe's suyIng LIuL urL Is concerned wILI LIe good
und dIIIIcuIL; Ie IeId LIuL 'IIgIL' musIc Is dIIIIcuIL Loo, II IL Is good, wIIcI IL cun be, jusL us weII us
'Ieuvy' musIc. Some oI LIuL sLuck by me, ¡ goL IL Irom IIm. OI course ¡ Iuve uIwuys grusped LIe
Ideu LIuL one musL be very weII uncIored In LIe good und 'Ieuvy' Lo Luke up wILI LIe 'IIgIL.' "
TIere wus sIIence In LIe room. WIuL Ie Iud suId, uL boLLom, wus LIuL Ie uIone Iud LIe rIgIL Lo
enjoy LIe pIeusunL LIIngs we Iud been reguIed wILI. TIey LrIed noL Lo undersLund IL LIus, buL
LIey suspecLed LIuL wus wIuL Ie meunL. ScIIIdknupp und ¡ excIunged Iooks. Dr. KrunIcI wenL
"H'm, I'm." JeuneLLe ScIeurI wIIspered "Mcçnijiquel" ¡eo ZInk's IuLuous "Jesus, Jesus!" rose
ubove LIe resL, In preLended uccIumuLIon, buL reuIIy ouL oI spILe. "GenuIne AdrIun ¡everküIn!"
crIed ScIwerdLIeger, red In LIe Iuce Irom one VIeIIIe Cure uILer unoLIer, buL uIso, ¡ IeIL sure, ouL
oI prIvuLe cIugrIn.
"You Iuven'L by cIunce," AdrIun wenL on, "DeIIIuI's D-sIurp mujor urIu Irom Scmson by
SuInL-Suens?" TIe quesLIon wus uddressed Lo BuIIInger, wIo Iound greuL suLIsIucLIon In repIyIng:
"NoL Iuve IL? My deur sIr, wIuL do you LIInk oI me? Here IL Is - noL uL uII 'by cIunce,' ¡ ussure
you!"
AdrIun unswered: "OI, good! ¡L cume InLo my Ieud, becuuse KreLscImur, my LeucIer, Ie wus
un orgunIsL, u Iugue-mun, you musL know, Iud u pecuIIurIy pussIonuLe IeeIIng Ior LIe pIece, u reuI
jcible. He couId IuugI uL IL Loo, buL LIuL dId noL Iessen IIs udmIruLIon, wIIcI muy Iuve
concerned onIy LIe consummuLe-ness oI LIe LIIng In ILs own genre. ¡IsLen."
TIe needIe LoucIed LIe pIuLe. BuIIInger puL down LIe Ieuvy IId. TIrougI LIe Ioud-speuker
poured u proud mezzo-sopruno voIce, wIIcI dId noL mucI LroubIe ubouL cIeur enuncIuLIon: you
undersLood: "Mon coeur s'outre c tc toix" und noL u greuL deuI eIse. BuL LIe sIngIng,
unIorLunuLeIy uccompunIed by u ruLIer wIInIng orcIesLru, wus wonderIuI In ILs wurmLI,
Lenderness, sombre IumenL Ior IuppIness, IIke LIe meIody, wIIcI Indeed In boLI oI LIe
sLrucLuruIIy sImIIur sLropIes oI LIe urIu reucIes ILs IuII beuuLy onIy In LIe mIddIe und IInIsIes In u
wuy Lo overpower LIe senses, especIuIIy LIe second LIme, wIen LIe vIoIIn, now quILe sonorous,
empIusIzes wILI pIeusIng eIIecL LIe voIupLuous vocuI IIne und repeuLs LIe cIosIng IIgure In
deIIcuLe und meIuncIoIy posLIude.
TIey were moved. One Iudy wIped un eye wILI Ier embroIdered purLy IundkercIIeI. "Cruzy
beuuLIIuI!" suId BuIIInger, usIng u pIruse now In Iuvour umong sLrIcLer connoIsseurs, wIo
rejecLed LIe senLImenLuI "IoveIy." ¡L mIgIL be suId Lo be used Iere exucLIy In ILs rIgIL und proper
pIuce, und perIups LIuL wus wIuL umused AdrIun.
"WeII, LIere!" Ie suId, IuugIIng. "You undersLund now Iow u serIous mun cun be cupubIe oI
udorIng LIe LIIng. ¡nLeIIecLuuI beuuLy IL Ius noL, oI course, IL Is LypIcuIIy sensuuI. BuL uILer uII one
musL noL bIusI Ior LIe sensuuI, nor be uIruId oI IL."
"And yeL, perIups," Dr. KrunIcI wus Ieurd Lo suy. He spoke, us uIwuys, very cIeurIy, wILI
dIsLIncL urLIcuIuLIon, LIougI wIeezIng wILI usLImu. "PerIups, uILer uII, In urL. ¡n LIIs reuIm In
IucL one muy, or one sIouId, be uIruId oI LIe noLIIng-buL-sensuuI; one sIouId be usIumed oI IL,
Ior, us LIe poeL suId, IL Is LIe common, LIe vuIgur: 'VuIgur Is everyLIIng LIuL does noL speuk Lo LIe
mInd und spIrIL und urouses noLIIng buL u sensuuI InLeresL.'"
"A nobIe suyIng," AdrIun responded. "We sIuII do weII Lo IeL IL ecIo Ior u bIL In our mInds
beIore we LIInk oI unyLIIng Lo dIspuLe IL."
"And wIuL wouId you LIInk oI LIen?" LIe scIoIur wunLed Lo know.
AdrIun Iud mude u grImuce, sIrugged u sIouIder, us mucI us Lo suy: "¡ cun'L IeIp LIe IucLs."
TIen Ie repIIed:
"¡deuIIsm Ieuves ouL oI counL LIuL LIe mInd und spIrIL ure by no meuns uddressed by LIe
spIrILuuI uIone; LIey cun be mosL deepIy moved by LIe unImuI sudness oI sensuuI beuuLy. TIey
Iuve even puId Iomuge Lo IrIvoIILy. PIIIIne, uILer uII, Is noLIIng buL u IILLIe sLrumpeL, buL WIIIeIm
MeIsLer, wIo Is noL so very dIIIerenL Irom IIs creuLor, puys Ier u respecL In wIIcI LIe vuIgurILy oI
InnocenL sensuuIILy Is openIy denIed."
"HIs compIuIsunce, IIs LoIeruLIon oI LIe quesLIonubIe," reLurned LIe numIsmuLIsL, "Iuve never
been Iooked on us LIe mosL exempIury LruILs oI our OIympIun's cIurucLer. And one muy see u
dunger Lo cuILure wIen LIe spIrIL cIoses ILs eyes Lo LIe vuIgur und sensuuI, or even wInks uL
LIem."
"ObvIousIy we Iuve dIIIerenL opInIons us Lo LIe dunger."
"You mIgIL us weII suy ¡ um u cowurd, uL once!"
"God IorbId! A knIgILIy deIender oI Ieur und censure Is no cowurd, Ie Is sImpIy knIgILIy. ¡or
myseII, ¡ wouId onIy IIke Lo breuk u Iunce Ior u cerLuIn breudLI oI vIew In muLLers oI urLIsLIc
moruIILy. One grunLs IL, or uIIows IL, IL seems Lo me, more reudIIy In oLIer urLs LIun In musIc.
TIuL muy be very IonourubIe buL IL does serIousIy nurrow ILs IIeId. WIuL becomes oI LIe wIoIe
jIngIe-jungIe II you uppIy LIe mosL rIgorousIy InLeIIecLuuI sLundurds? A Iew 'pure specLru' oI BucI.
PerIups noLIIng eIse uudIbIe wouId survIve uL uII."
A servunL cume round wILI wIIsky, beer, und sodu-wuLer on u Iuge Lruy.
"WIo wouId wunL Lo be u spoII-sporL?" suId KrunIcI, und goL u "Bruvo!" und u cIup on LIe
sIouIder Irom BuIIInger. To me, und very IIkeIy Lo some oI LIe oLIer guesLs, LIe excIunge wus u
dueI suddenIy sLruck up beLween uncompromIsIng medIocrILy und puInIuI depLI oI experIence.
BuL ¡ Iuve InLerpoIuLed LIIs scene, noL onIy becuuse ¡ IeeI LIe cIose connecLIon beLween IL und LIe
concerLo upon wIIcI AdrIun wus LIen uL work, buL uIso becuuse even LIen boLI concerLo und
conversuLIon dIrecLed my uLLenLIon Lo LIe person oI LIe young mun upon wIose obsLInuLe
InsIsLence LIe pIece Iud been wrILLen und Ior wIom IL represenLed u conquesL In more LIun one
sense oI LIe word. ProbubIy IL Is my IuLe Lo be ubIe Lo speuk onIy sLIIIIy, dryIy, und unuIyLIcuIIy
ubouL LIe pIenomenon oI Iove: oI LIuL wIIcI AdrIun Iud one duy cIurucLerIzed Lo me us un
umuzIng und uIwuys somewIuL unnuLuruI uILeruLIon In LIe reIuLIon beLween LIe ¡ und LIe noL-¡.
Reverence Ior LIe mysLery In generuI, und personuI reverence us weII, combIne Lo cIose my IIps or
muke me cIury oI words wIen ¡ come Lo speuk oI LIe LrunsIormuLIon, uIwuys In LIe sIgn oI LIe
duemonIc, LIe pIenomenon In und Ior ILseII IuII mIrucuIous wIIcI neguLIves LIe sIngIeness oI
LIe IndIvIduuI souI. Even so, ¡ wIII sIow LIuL IL wus u specIIIc sIurpenIng oI my wILs LIrougI my
cIussIcuI scIoIursIIp, un ucquIremenL wIIcI oLIerwIse Lends ruLIer Lo Luke LIe edge oII one's
reucLIons Lowurds IIIe, wIIcI puL me In u posILIon Lo see or undersLund us mucI us ¡ dId.
TIere remuIns no doubL - ¡ suy IL In uII cuImness - LIuL LIreIess, seII-conIIdenL perseverunce,
puL oII by noLIIng, Iud won LIe duy over uIooIness und reserve. SucI u conquesL, consIderIng LIe
poIurILy - ¡ empIusIze LIe word - LIe poIurILy oI LIe purLners, LIe InLeIIecLuuI unLILIesIs
beLween LIem, couId Iuve onIy one deIInILe cIurucLer, und LIuL, In u IreukIsI sorL oI wuy, wus
wIuL Iud uIwuys been sougIL und sLrIven uILer. ¡L Is perIecLIy cIeur Lo me LIuL u mun oI
ScIwerdLIeger's muke-up Iud uIwuys, wIeLIer conscIousIy or noL, gIven LIIs purLIcuIur meunIng
und coIoruLIon Lo IIs wooIng oI AdrIun - LIougI oI course ¡ do noL meun LIuL IL Iucked nobIer
moLIves. On LIe conLrury, LIe suILor wus perIecLIy serIous wIen Ie suId Iow necessury AdrIun's
IrIendsIIp wus Lo LIe IuIIIImenL oI IIs nuLure, Iow IL wouId deveIop, eIevuLe, Improve IL. BuL Ie
wus IIIogIcuI enougI Lo use IIs nuLIve gIIL oI coqueLry - und LIen Lo IeeI puL oII wIen LIe
meIuncIoIy preIerence Ie uroused dId noL Iuck LIe sIgns oI IronIc eroLIcIsm.
To me LIe mosL remurkubIe und LIrIIIIng LIIng ubouL uII LIIs wus Lo see Iow LIe vIcLIm dId noL
see LIuL Ie Iud been bewILcIed. He guve IImseII credIL Ior un InILIuLIve LIuL beIonged enLIreIy Lo
LIe oLIer purLy, und wus IuII oI IunLusLIc usLonIsImenL uL IrunkIy reckIess und regurdIess
udvunces LIuL mIgIL beLLer be cuIIed seducLIon. Yes, AdrIun LuIked ubouL LIe mirccle oI LIuL un-
duunLed sIngIe-mIndedness, undIsLrucLed by meIuncIoIy or emoLIon; ¡ Iuve IILLIe doubL LIuL IIs
usLonIsImenL wenL buck Lo LIuL dIsLunL evenIng wIen ScIwerdLIeger uppeured In IIs room Lo beg
IIm Lo come buck becuuse LIe purLy wus so duII wILIouL IIm. And yeL In LIese so-cuIIed mIrucIes
you couId uIwuys see poor RudI's "IIgIer," IIs Iree und decenL cIurucLerIsLIcs us un urLIsL, wIIcI ¡
Iuve repeuLedIy ceIebruLed. TIere Is u IeLLer wIIcI AdrIun uL ubouL LIe LIme oI LIe BuIIInger
dInner wroLe Lo ScIwerdLIeger, wIo sIouId oI course Iuve desLroyed IL buL wIIcI, purLIy ouL oI
senLImenL, purLIy us u LropIy Ie dId In IucL preserve. ¡ reIruIn Irom quoLIng IL, mereIy
cIurucLerIzIng IL us u Iumun documenL wIIcI uIIecLs LIe reuder IIke LIe burIng oI u wound und
wIose puInIuI Iuck oI reserve LIe wrILer probubIy consIdered un uLLermosL Iuzurd. ¡L wus noL.
And LIe wuy IL proved noL Lo be wus reuIIy beuuLIIuI. AL once, wILI uII expedILIon, wILI no
LorLurIng deIuy, RudI's vIsIL Lo PIeIIIerIng IoIIowed. TIere were expIunuLIons, LIere wus ussurunce
oI LIe proIoundesL gruLILude: LIe reveIuLIon oI u sImpIe, boId, und uLLerIy sIncere beurIng,
zeuIousIy concerned Lo obvIuLe uII IumIIIuLIon... TIuL ¡ musL commend, ¡ cunnoL IeIp IL. And ¡
suspecL - und In u wuy upprove - LIuL on LIIs occusIon LIe composILIon und dedIcuLIon oI LIe
vIoIIn concerLo were decIded on.
¡L Look AdrIun Lo VIennu. ¡L Look IIm, wILI RudI ScIwerdLIeger, Lo LIe esLuLe In Hungury.
WIen LIey reLurned, RudoII rejoIced In LIe preroguLIve LIuL up Lo LIen, Irom our cIIIdIood on,
Iud been mIne uIone: Ie und AdrIun were per du.

CHAPTIR XXXIX
Poor RudI! BrIeI wus LIe LrIumpI oI your cIIIdIsI duemony. ¡L Iud enLered InLo u IIeId oI
power Iur more cIurged wILI IuLe, Iur more duemonIc LIun ILs own, wIIcI speedIIy sIuLLered,
consumed, und exLInguIsIed IL. UnIuppy "Dul" ¡L wus InupproprIuLe Lo LIe bIue-eyed medIocrILy
LIuL Iud ucIIeved IL; nor couId Ie wIo so Iur condescended reIruIn Irom uvengIng LIe
IumIIIuLIon InsepurubIe Irom LIe condescensIon, pIeusurubIe LIougI LIuL muy Iuve been. TIe
revenge wus uuLomuLIc, coId-eyed, secreL. BuL IeL me LeII my LuIe.
¡n LIe IusL duys oI 1qzq LIe successIuI vIoIIn concerLo wus repeuLed In Berne und ZurIcI, us
purL oI Lwo perIormunces oI LIe SwIss CIumber OrcIesLru, wIose dIrecLor, Herr PuuI SucIer,
Iud InvILed ScIIerdLIeger, on very IIuLLerIng Lerms und wILI LIe express wIsI LIuL LIe composer
mIgIL Ionour LIe occusIon wILI IIs presence. AdrIun demurred, buL RudoII knew Iow Lo pIeud
und LIe recenL "Du" wus sLrong enougI Lo open LIe wuy Ior wIuL wus Lo come.
TIe concerLo occupIed u pIuce In LIe mIddIe oI u progrum IncIudIng Germun cIussIcs und
conLemporury RussIun musIc. ¡L wus perIormed LwIce: In LIe HuII oI LIe ConservuLorIum uL
Berne und uIso In ZurIcI, In LIe TonIuIIe. TIunks Lo LIe exerLIons oI LIe soIoIsL, wIo guve uII LIuL
Ie Iud Lo ILs execuLIon, LIe pIece IuIIy usserLed boLI ILs IuscInuLIon und ILs InLeIIecLuuI uppeuI.
True, LIe crILIcs remurked u cerLuIn Iuck oI unILy In LIe sLyIe, even In LIe IeveI oI LIe composILIon,
und LIe pubIIc Loo wus sIIgILIy more reserved LIun In VIennu. However, IL noL onIy guve LIe
perIormers u IIveIy ovuLIon buL on boLI evenIngs InsIsLed on LIe uppeurunce oI LIe composer,
wIo gruLIIIed IIs InLerpreLer by uppeurIng repeuLedIy Iund In Iund wILI IIm Lo ucknowIedge LIe
uppIuuse. ¡ wus noL presenL uL LIIs LwIce repeuLed unIque evenL, LIe exposure oI LIe recIuse In
person Lo LIe guze oI LIe crowd. ¡ wus ouL oI IL. ¡ Ieurd ubouL IL, Iowever, Irom JeuneLLe ScIeurI,
wIo wus In ZurIcI Ior LIe second perIormunce und uIso meL AdrIun In LIe prIvuLe Iouse wIere
Ie und ScIwerdLIeger Iodged.
¡L wus In LIe MyLIensLrusse, neur LIe Iuke, LIe Iome oI Herr und ¡ruu ReIII, un eIderIy,
weuILIy, cIIIdIess puIr. TIey were IrIends oI urL, wIo Iud uIwuys enjoyed exLendIng IospILuIILy Lo
promInenL urLIsLs on Lour und enLerLuInIng LIem socIuIIy. TIe Iusbund wus u reLIred sIIk-
munuIucLurer, u SwIss oI LIe oId democruLIc mouId. He Iud u gIuss eye, wIIcI ImpurLed u ruLIer
sLony expressIon Lo IIs beurded Iuce und beIIed IIs cIurucLer, Ior Ie wus oI u IIveIy und IIberuI
Irume und Ioved noLIIng beLLer LIun pIuyIng LIe guIIunL wILI prImu donnus und soubreLLes In IIs
druwIng-room. SomeLImes Ie enLerLuIned LIe compuny, noL Loo budIy, wILI IIs ceIIo,
uccompunIed by IIs wIIe, wIo cume Irom Germuny und Iud once been u sInger. SIe Iucked IIs
sense oI Iumour, buL wus LIe energeLIc, IospILubIe IousewIIe personIIIed, wurmIy secondIng Ier
Iusbund's pIeusure uL enLerLuInIng ceIebrILIes und gIvIng LIeIr druwIng-rooms un uLmospIere oI
unIorced vIrLuosILy. SIe Iud In Ier boudoIr u wIoIe LubIeIuI oI pIoLogrupIs oI Europeun
ceIebrILIes, gruLeIuIIy dedIcuLed Lo LIe ReIII IospILuIILy.
Even beIore ScIwerdLIeger's nume Iud uppeured In LIe pupers LIe coupIe Iud InvILed IIm, Ior
us un open-Iunded Muecenus LIe oId IndusLrIuIIsL Ieurd sooner LIun ordInury peopIe ubouL
comIng musIcuI evenLs. TIey Iud prompLIy exLended LIe InvILuLIon Lo AdrIun so soon us LIey
knew Ie wus comIng Loo. TIeIr upurLmenL wus spucIous, LIere wus pIenLy oI room Ior guesLs; In
IucL on LIeIr urrIvuI Irom Berne LIe Lwo musIcIuns Iound JeuneLLe ScIeurI uIreudy InsLuIIed, Ior
sIe cume every yeur Ior u Iew weeks on u vIsIL. BuL IL wus noL JeuneLLe ScIeurI nexL wIom AdrIun
wus pIuced uL LIe supper LIe ReIIIs guve Ior u smuII cIrcIe oI IrIends uILer LIe concerL.
TIe musLer oI LIe Iouse suL uL LIe Ieud oI LIe LubIe, drInkIng orunge-juIce ouL oI wonderIuI
engruved crysLuI, und despILe IIs sLurIng guze excIungIng Iree und eusy repurLee wILI LIe
drumuLIc sopruno oI LIe munIcIpuI LIeuLre, u powerIuI IemuIe wIo In LIe course oI LIe evenIng
LIumped IerseII repeuLedIy on LIe breusL wILI Ier IIsL. TIere wus unoLIer operu sInger LIere, LIe
IeroIc burILone, u BuIL by bIrLI, u LuII mun wILI u boomIng voIce, wIo, Iowever, LuIked wILI
InLeIIIgence. TIen oI course KupeIImeIsLer SucIer, wIo Iud urrunged LIe concerL, Dr. Andreue,
LIe reguIur conducLor oI LIe TonIuIIe, und Dr. ScIuI, LIe exceIIenL musIc-crILIc oI LIe Neue
Zuricher Zeitunç - uII LIese were presenL wILI LIeIr wIves. AL LIe oLIer end oI LIe LubIe ¡ruu
ReIII energeLIcuIIy presIded beLween AdrIun und ScIwerdLIeger, nexL Lo wIom suL, respecLIveIy, u
young, or sLIII young proIessIonuI womun, MIIe Godeuu, u ¡rencI SwIss, und Ier uunL, u
LIorougIIy good-nuLured, uImosL RussIun-IookIng oId dume wILI u IILLIe mousLucIe. MurIe (In
oLIer words MIIe Godeuu) uddressed Ier us "mc tcnte" or TunLe ¡subeuu; sIe uppurenLIy IIved
wILI Ier nIece us compunIon und Iousekeeper.
¡L Is undoubLedIy IncumbenL on me Lo gIve u pIcLure oI LIe nIece, sInce u IILLIe IuLer, Ior
exceIIenL reusons, my eyes dweIL Iong upon Ier In unxIous scruLIny. ¡I ever LIe word
"sympuLIeLIc" wus IndIspensubIe Lo LIe descrIpLIon oI u person, IL Is so In LIe presenL cuse, wIen
¡ seek Lo convey LIe pIcLure oI LIIs womun: Irom Ieud Lo IooL, In every IeuLure, wILI every word,
every smIIe, every expressIon oI Ier beIng, sIe corresponded Lo LIe LrunquII, LemperuLe,
uesLIeLIc, und moruI cIImuLe purveyed by LIIs word. SIe Iud LIe IoveIIesL bIuck eyes In LIe worId.
¡ wIII begIn wILI LIem: bIuck us jeL LIey were, us Lur, us rIpe bIuckberrIes; eyes noL Iurge Indeed,
buL wILI u cIeur und open sIIne Irom LIeIr durk depLIs, under brows wIose IIne, even IIne Iud us
IILLIe Lo do wILI cosmeLIcs us Iud LIe LIe LemperuLe nuLIve red oI LIe genLIe IIps. TIere wus
noLIIng urLIIIcIuI, no muke-up ubouL Ier, no uccenLuuLIon by borrowed coIour. Her nuLIve
genuIne sweeLness - LIe wuy, Ior InsLunce, In wIIcI LIe durk-brown IuIr wus druwn buck Irom
Ier brow und sensILIve LempIes, IeuvIng LIe eurs Iree und IyIng Ieuvy uL LIe buck oI Ier neck -
seL ILs sLump on LIe Iunds us weII. TIey were sensIbIe und beuuLIIuI, by no meuns smuII, buL
sIender und smuII-boned, LIe wrIsLs encIrcIed by LIe cuIIs oI u wIILe sIIk bIouse. And jusL so Loo
LIe LIrouL rose ouL oI u IIuL wIILe coIIur, sIender und round IIke u coIumn, crowned by LIe
pIquunLIy poInLed ovuI oI LIe Ivory-LInLed Iuce. TIe sIupeIy IILLIe nose wus remurkubIe Ior LIe
unImuLIon oI LIe open nosLrIIs. Her noL precIseIy IrequenL smIIe, Ier sLIII Iess IrequenL IuugI,
wIIcI uIwuys cuused u cerLuIn uppeuIIng Iook oI sLruIn round LIe uImosL LrunsIucenL regIon oI LIe
LempIes, reveuIed LIe enumeI oI Ier even, cIose-seL LeeLI.
¡L wIII be seen LIuL ¡ seek Lo summon up In u spIrIL oI puInsLukIng Iove LIe IIgure oI LIIs womun
wIom AdrIun Ior u sIorL LIme LIougIL Lo murry. ¡L wus In LIuL wIILe sIIk evenIng bIouse wIIcI so
enIunced - perIups wILI InLenLIon - Ier bruneLLe Lype LIuL ¡ Loo suw MurIe Ior LIe IIrsL LIme.
AILerwurds ¡ suw Ier cIIeIIy In one oI Ier sLIII more becomIng sImpIe everyduy und LruveIIIng
cosLumes oI durk LurLun wILI puLenL-IeuLIer beIL und moLIer-oI-peurI buLLons; or eIse In LIe
knee-IengLI smock wIIcI sIe puL on over IL wIen sIe worked wILI Ieud-pencIIs und coIoured
cruyons uL Ier druwIng-bourd. SIe wus u desIgner, so AdrIun Iud been LoId by ¡ruu ReIII; un
urLIsL wIo skeLcIed und worked ouL Ior LIe smuIIer PurIs operu und vuudevIIIe sLuges, LIe GuIeLe
¡yrIque, LIe oId TIeuLre du TrIunon, LIe IIgurInes, cosLumes, und seLLIngs wIIcI LIen served us
modeIs Ior cosLumIers und decoruLors. TIe urLIsL, u nuLIve oI Nyon on ¡uke Genevu, IIved und
worked In LIe LIny rooms oI u IIuL on LIe He de PurIs, compunIoned by TunLe ¡subeuu. Her
repuLuLIon Ior InvenLIveness und IndusLry wus on LIe Increuse, us were Ier proIessIonuI grusp oI
cosLume IIsLory und Ier IusLIdIous LusLe. Her presenL vIsIL In ZurIcI wus u busIness one; und sIe
LoId Ier neIgIbour on LIe rIgIL LIuL In u Iew weeks sIe wouId be comIng Lo MunIcI, wIere sIe
wus Lo creuLe LIe seLLIngs Ior u modern comedy oI munners uL LIe ScIuuspIeIIuus.
AdrIun dIvIded IIs uLLenLIon beLween Ier und LIe IosLess, wIIIe opposILe IIm LIe LIred buL
Iuppy RudI joked wILI "mc tcnte." SIe IuugIed LIII LIe Leurs run down; oILen sIe Ieuned over
wILI weL Iuce und sIukIng voIce Lo repeuL someLIIng Ier neIgIbour Iud jusL suId und Ier nIece
ubsoIuLeIy musL Ieur. MurIe wouId nod und smIIe, obvIousIy pIeused Lo see Ier uunL so weII
umused; Ier eyes resLed gruLeIuIIy on LIe source oI LIe oId Iudy's enjoymenL, wIIIe Ie In IIs Lurn
dId IIs uLmosL Lo provoke Ier Lo yeL unoLIer repeLILIon oI wIuL Ie Iud suId. MIIe Godeuu LuIked
wILI AdrIun, unswerIng IIs quesLIons ubouL Ier work In PurIs, ubouL recenL producLIons oI LIe
¡rencI buIIeL und operu wIIcI were onIy purLIy known Lo IIm, works by PouIenc, AurIc, RIeLI.
TIey excIunged unImuLed vIews on RuveI's Dcphnis et Chloe und LIe 1eux oI Debussy, ScurIuLLI's
musIc Lo LIe Donne di buon umore by GoIdonI, CImurosu's Il Mctrimonio seçreto, und
L'Educction mcnquee by CIubrIer. ¡or some oI LIese MurIe Iud desIgned new seLLIngs, und sIe
mude skeLcIes on Ier pIuce-curd Lo IIIusLruLe soIuLIons Ior vurIous scenIc probIems. SuuI
¡ILeIberg sIe knew - oI, oI course! ¡L wus LIen sIe sIowed LIe gIeumIng enumeI oI Ier LeeLI,
Ier voIce rung ouL In u IeurLy IuugI, und Ier LempIes goL LIuL IoveIy Iook oI sLruIn. Her Germun
wus eIIorLIess, wILI u sIIgIL, deIIgILIuI IoreIgn uccenL; Ier voIce Iud u wurm, uppeuIIng quuIILy, IL
wus u sIngIng voIce, u "muLerIuI" beyond u doubL. To be specIIIc, noL onIy wus IL IIke EIsbeLI
¡everküIn's In coIour und regIsLer buL someLImes one reuIIy mIgIL LIInk, us one IIsLened, LIuL
one Ieurd LIe voIce oI AdrIun's moLIer.
BuL u compuny oI IIILeen peopIe, IIke LIIs one, usuuIIy breuks up on rIsIng Irom LubIe InLo
groups und mukes IresI conLucLs. AdrIun scurceIy excIunged u word uILer supper wILI MurIe Go-
deuu. SucIer, Andrese, und ScIuI, wILI JeuneLLe ScIeurI, enguged IIm In u Iong conversuLIon
ubouL ZurIcI und MunIcI musIcuI evenLs, wIIIe LIe PurIs IudIes, wILI LIe operu sIngers, LIe IosL
und IosLess, und ScIwerdLIeger, suL uL LIe LubIe wILI LIe prIceIess Sevres servIce und wILI
umuzemenL wuLcIed LIe eIderIy Herr ReIII empLy one cup oI sLrong coIIee uILer unoLIer. He
decIured In IIs ImpressIve SwIss Germun LIuL Ie dId IL by IIs docLor's udvIce, Lo sLrengLIen IIs
IeurL und muke IIm IuII usIeep more eusIIy. TIe LIree Iouse guesLs reLIred soon uILer LIe
depurLure oI LIe resL oI LIe compuny. MIIe Godeuu wus sLuyIng Ior severuI duys wILI Ier uunL uL
HoLeI Eden uu ¡uc. WIen ScIwerdLIeger, wIo wus Lo uccompuny AdrIun LIe nexL mornIng Lo
MunIcI, bude LIem good-bye, Ie expressed u IIveIy Iope oI seeIng LIem LIere IuLer. MurIe wuILed
u momenL, unLII AdrIun ecIoed LIe wIsI, und LIen pIeusunLIy recIprocuLed.
¯ ¯ ¯
TIe IIrsL weeks oI June 1qz¸ Iud gone by wIen ¡ reud In LIe puper LIuL my IrIend's uLLrucLIve
ZurIcI LubIe purLner Iud urrIved In our cupILuI und wILI Ier uunL wus sLuyIng In PensIon GIseIu In
ScIwubIng; noL by cIunce, Ior AdrIun LoId me Ie Iud recommended IL Lo Ier. He Iud sLopped
LIere Ior u Iew duys on IIs reLurn Irom ¡LuIy. TIe ScIuuspIeIIuus, In order Lo urouse InLeresL In
LIe comIng premIere, Iud gIven pubIIcILy Lo LIe news oI Ier urrIvuI; IL wus uL once conIIrmed Lo
us by un InvILuLIon Irom LIe ScIIugInIuuIens Lo spend LIe nexL SuLurduy evenIng wILI LIem Lo
meeL LIe weII-known sLuge desIgner.
¡ cunnoL descrIbe LIe suspense wILI wIIcI ¡ Iooked Iorwurd Lo LIIs meeLIng. CurIosILy,
pIeusurubIe expecLuLIon, uppreIensIon, mIngIed In my mInd und resuILed In proIound
excILemenL. WIy? NoL - or noL onIy - becuuse AdrIun on IIs reLurn Irom SwILzerIund Iud LoId
me umong oLIer LIIngs oI IIs meeLIng wILI MurIe und Iud gIven me u descrIpLIon oI Ier wIIcI,
us u sImpIe sLuLemenL, IncIuded LIe IIkeness oI Ier voIce Lo IIs moLIer's und In oLIer wuys
besIdes Iud mude me prIck up my eurs. CerLuInIy IL wus no enLIusIusLIc porLruyuI, on LIe
conLrury IIs words were quIeL und cusuuI, IIs munner unemburrussed, Ie LuIked IookIng oII InLo
LIe room. BuL LIuL LIe meeLIng Iud mude un ImpressIon on IIm wus cIeur, II onIy becuuse Ie
knew MurIe's IIrsL und Ier IusL nume. And we know LIuL In socIeLy Ie seIdom knew LIe nume oI
LIe person Ie spoke wILI. OI course Ie dId mucI more LIun mereIy menLIon Ier, besIdes.
BuL LIuL wus noL uII LIuL cuused my IeurL Lo beuL so sLrungeIy In joy und Ieur. On my nexL vIsIL
Lo PIeIIIerIng, AdrIun IeL IuII remurks Lo LIe eIIecL LIuL Ie Iud now IIved Iere u very Iong LIme. He
mIgIL possIbIy muke cIunges In IIs ouLwurd IIIe; uL IeusL Ie mIgIL soon puL un end Lo IIs IermIL
sLuLe: Ie wus consIderIng muLLers, und so on. ¡n sIorL you couId InLerpreL IIs remurks onIy us un
InLenLIon Lo murry. ¡ Iud LIe couruge Lo usk wIeLIer IIs IInLs were connecLed wILI u cerLuIn
socIuI evenL In ZurIcI; Lo LIuL Ie repIIed:
"WIo cun prevenL you Irom mukIng guesses? AnyIow LIIs cubIned, crIbbed, conIIned spuce Is
noL uL uII LIe rIgIL LIeuLre. ¡I ¡ mIsLuke noL, IL wus on MounL ZIon, buck Iome, LIuL you once
mude me sImIIur reveIuLIons. We ougIL Lo cIImb up Lo LIe RoImbüIeI Ior LIIs conversuLIon."
¡mugIne my usLonIsImenL! "My deur IrIend," suId ¡, "LIIs Is u sensuLIon, IL Is LIrIIIIng."
He udvIsed me Lo moderuLe my LrunsporLs. He wouId soon be IorLy; LIuL Ie LIougIL wus
wurnIng enougI noL Lo puL oII LIe sLep. ¡ wus noL Lo usk uny more quesLIons. ¡ wouId see In good
LIme. ¡ dId noL conceuI Irom myseII my joy LIuL LIIs new Ideu meunL LIe severunce oI LIe ImpIsI
und unomuIous bond wILI ScIwerdLIeger; ¡ rejoIced Lo InLerpreL IL us u conscIous meuns Lo LIuL
end. How LIe IIddIer und wIIsLIer wouId Luke IL wus u mInor muLLer, wIIcI dId noL unduIy upseL
me sInce ScIwerdLIeger Iud uIreudy, wILI LIe concerL, urrIved uL LIe gouI oI IIs cIIIdIsI umbI-
LIon. AILer LIuL LrIumpI, ¡ LIougIL, Ie wouId be reudy Lo Luke u more reusonubIe pIuce In AdrIun
¡everküIn's IIIe. BuL wIuL ¡ wus revoIvIng In my mInd wus my IrIend's sInguIur wuy oI speukIng
oI IIs InLenLIon us LIougI ILs reuIIzuLIon depended on IImseII uIone; us LIougI Ie dId noL need Lo
gIve u LIougIL Lo LIe gIrI's consenL. ¡ wus more LIun reudy Lo upprove u seII-conIIdence so sLrong
us Lo ussume LIuL IL needed onIy Lo cIoose, onIy Lo muke known ILs cIoIce. And yeL ¡ dId IeeI
some LrepIduLIon uL LIIs nuIveLe, IL seemed Lo me IIke unoLIer munIIesLuLIon oI LIuL remoLeness
und oLIer-worIdness Ie currIed ubouL IIke un uuru. AguInsL my wIII, ¡ doubLed wIeLIer LIIs mun
wus mude Lo wIn LIe Iove oI women. ¡I ¡ were quILe cundId wILI myseII, ¡ even doubLed LIuL Ie
beIIeved IL IImseII. ¡ LIougIL perIups Ie sLruggIed uguInsL LIe IeeIIng und purposeIy so puL IL us
LIougI IIs success were u muLLer oI course. WIeLIer LIe womun oI IIs cIoIce Iud so Iur uny
InkIIng oI IIs IeeIIngs und pIuns remuIned obscure.
¡L remuIned obscure so Iur us ¡ wus concerned even uILer LIe evenIng purLy In LIe
BrIennersLrusse wIere ¡ IIrsL meL MurIe Godeuu. How mucI ¡ IIked Ier wIII be cIeur Irom LIe
descrIpLIon ¡ guve ubove. NoL onIy LIe mIId durk depLI oI Ier eyes - und ¡ knew wIuL un uppeuI
LIuL musL muke Lo AdrIun's sensIbIIILIes - Ier deIIgILIuI smIIe, Ier musIcuI voIce; noL onIy LIese
won me Lo Ier, buL uIso LIe IrIendIy und InLeIIIgenL serIousness oI Ier cIurucLer, LIe dIrecLness so
Iur ubove uII cooIng IemInInILy, LIe decIsIon, even LIe bIunLness oI LIe IndependenL, cupubIe
womun. ¡L rejoIced me Lo LIInk oI Ier us AdrIun ¡everküIn's IIIe-purLner; ¡ couId weII
undersLund LIe IeeIIng sIe guve IIm. DId noL "LIe worId" come neur Lo IIm In Ier, LIe worId
Irom wIIcI Ie sIrunk - und, In un urLIsLIc und musIcuI sense, LIuL purL oI LIe worId wIIcI wus
ouLsIde Germuny? And IL cume In LIe mosL serIous, IrIendIy guIse, uwukenIng conIIdence,
promIsIng IuIIIImenL, encourugIng IIm Lo ubundon IIs recIuse sLuLe. DId Ie noL Iove Ier ouL oI
IIs own worId oI musIcuI LIeoIogy, oruLorIo, muLIemuLIcuI number-mugIc? ¡L guve me Iope, IL
excILed me, Lo see LIese Lwo Iumun beIngs LogeLIer In one room, uILIougI In IucL LIey were noL
LogeLIer Ior Iong uL u LIme. Once u sIIIL In LIe groupIng brougIL MurIe, AdrIun, myseII, und
unoLIer person LogeLIer, wIen ¡ removed myseII uImosL uL once In LIe Iope LIuL LIe oLIer
person wouId Luke LIe IInL und move oII Loo.
TIe uIIuIr uL LIe ScIIugInIuuIens' wus noL u dInner buL u nIne-o'cIock evenIng compuny wILI u
buIIeL In LIe dInIng-room nexL LIe suIon. TIe pIcLure Iud cIunged consIderubIy sInce LIe wur.
TIere wus no Buron RIedeseI Lo represenL LIe cIuIms oI LIe "gruceIuI" In urL: LIuL pIuno-pIuyIng
cuvuIry oIIIcer Iud dIsuppeured LIrougI IIsLory's Lrupdoor. Herr von GIeIcIen-Russwurm, LIe
descendunL oI LIe poeL ScIIIIer, wus noL LIere eILIer. He Iud been convIcLed oI uLLempLed
conspIrucy Lo deIruud und been reLIred Irom LIe worId Lo u sorL oI voIunLury urresL on IIs
BuvurIun esLuLe. HIs scIeme Iud been consummuLeIy IngenIous, us weII us sIeerIy cruzy und
IncredIbIe besIdes. TIe Buron Iud Insured u pIece oI jeweIIery Ior u sum IIgIer LIun ILs vuIue,
und Iud LIen osLensIbIy senL IL, cureIuIIy pucked, Lo be reseL by u jeweIIer In unoLIer cILy. WIen
LIe puckeL urrIved, LIere wus noLIIng Iound In IL buL u deud mouse. TIIs mouse Iud mosL
IncompeLenLIy IuIIed Lo perIorm LIe Lusk expecLed oI IL by LIe sender. ObvIousIy LIe Ideu Iud
been Lo Iuve IL gnuw LIrougI LIe wruppIngs und geL uwuy, IeuvIng LIe concIusIon Lo be druwn
LIuL LIe purceI Iud someIow goL u IoIe In IL LIrougI wIIcI LIe vuIuubIe pIece Iud IuIIen ouL und
goL IosL. TIe Insurunce wouId LIen Iuve been due. BuL LIe wreLcIed IILLIe unImuI Iud dIed
wILIouL mukIng LIe IoIe LIuL wus Lo Iuve expIuIned LIe ubsence oI LIe jeweI. And LIe InvenLor oI
LIIs IngenIous knuvery wus mosL comIcuIIy exposed. PossIbIy Ie Iud goL LIe Ideu Irom some book
on LIe IIsLory oI cuILure und IuIIen vIcLIm Lo IIs own erudILIon. Or uguIn, LIe conIusIon In moruI
sLundurds prevuIIIng uL LIe LIme muy Iuve been responsIbIe Ior IIs IreukIsI InspIruLIon.
Our IosLess, nee von PIuusIg, Iud Iud by now Lo resIgn IerseII Lo LIe Ioss oI muny LIIngs,
umong LIem LIe Ideu oI brIngIng urL und urIsLocrucy LogeLIer In Ier suIon. TIe presence oI some
Iormer IudIes oI LIe courL, LuIkIng ¡rencI wILI JeuneLLe ScIeurI, remInded one oI oId LImes.
OLIerwIse, mIngIIng umong LIe sLurs oI LIe LIeuLre one suw LIIs or LIuL depuLy oI LIe CuLIoIIc
PeopIe's purLy und u Iew IIgIer und noL so IIgI IuncLIonurIes oI LIe new sLuLe. Some oI LIese
were peopIe oI IumIIy, sucI us u cerLuIn Herr von SLengeI, IndeIuLIgubIy joIIy und reudy Ior
unyLIIng. BuL LIere were oLIer eIemenLs, unuLIemu In word und deed Lo LIe "IIberuIIsLIc"
repubIIc, wIose InLenLIon Lo uvenge LIe Germun "sIume," LIeIr convIcLIon LIuL LIey represenLed
u comIng worId, wus wrILLen Iurge on LIeIr brows.
WeII, IL Is uIwuys IIke LIuL: un observer mIgIL Iuve Iound LIuL ¡ spenL more LIme wILI MurIe
Godeuu und Ier good TunLcIen LIun AdrIun dId, wIo doubLIess wus LIere on Ier uccounL. He
Iud greeLed Ier uL once wILI obvIous pIeusure, buL uILer LIuL spenL mosL oI IIs LIme wILI IIs deur
JeuneLLe und LIe SocIuI-DemocruLIc member, u serIous und knowIedgeubIe udmIrer oI BucI. My
own conducL wus nuLuruI uILer uII LIuL AdrIun Iud conIIded Lo me, quILe usIde Irom LIe
uLLrucLIveness oI LIe objecL. RudI ScIwerdLIeger wus LIere Loo; TunLe ¡subeuu wus encIunLed Lo
see IIm uguIn. He mude Ier IuugI - und MurIe smIIe - us Ie Iud In ZurIcI, buL dId noL
InLerrupL u seduLe conversuLIon we Iud ubouL PurIs und MunIcI evenLs In LIe worId oI urL, uIso
poIILIcuI und Europeun ones, reIuLIons beLween ¡runce und Germuny; jusL uL LIe end Ior u Iew
mInuLes AdrIun joIned our group, sLundIng. He uIwuys Iud Lo cuLcI LIe eIeven-o'cIock LruIn Lo
WuIdsIuL, und IIs sLuy LIuL evenIng Iud IusLed scurceIy un Iour und u IuII. TIe resL oI us
remuIned u IILLIe Ionger.
TIIs wus, us ¡ suId, on SuLurduy evenIng. Some duys IuLer, on u TIursduy, ¡ Ieurd Irom IIm by
LeIepIone.

CHAPTIR XL
He cuIIed me up In ¡reIsIng und suId Ie wunLed Lo usk u Iuvour oI me. HIs voIce wus IeveI und
subdued, IndIcuLIng IeuducIe. He Iud LIe IeeIIng, Ie suId, LIuL one sIouId do LIe Ionours oI
MunIcI u bIL Ior LIe IudIes In PensIon GIseIu. TIe Ideu wus Lo oIIer LIem un excursIon InLo LIe
counLry, jusL now uL ILs besL In LIIs beuuLIIuI wInLer weuLIer. He mude no cIuIm Lo Iuve
orIgInuLed LIe pIun, IL Iud come Irom RudI ScIwerdLIeger. BuL Ie Iud Luken IL up und LIougIL IL
over. TIey Iud been consIderIng ¡IIssen und Neu-ScIwunsLeIn. BuL perIups Oberummerguu
wouId be even beLLer, wILI u sIedge Irom LIere Lo ELLuI; Ie personuIIy wus Iond oI LIe cIoIsLer,
und LIey mIgIL drIve by wuy oI ¡InderIoI, uIso u curIosILy worLI seeIng. WIuL dId ¡ LIInk?
¡ suId ¡ LIougIL LIe Ideu und uIso LIe cIoIce oI ELLuI were exceIIenL.
"OI course you musL boLI come wILI us," Ie suId, "you und your wIIe. We'II muke IL u SuLurduy
- so Iur us ¡ know you Iuve no cIusses on SuLurduy LIIs semesLer. ¡eL us suy u week Irom LIe duy
uILer Lomorrow unIess LIere Is Loo bIg u LIuw. ¡ Iuve LoId ScIIIdknupp uIreudy; Ie Is mud ubouL
LIuL sorL oI LIIIng und wunLs Lo go on skIs und be druwn by LIe sIedge."
¡ suId ¡ LIougIL uII LIuL wus cupILuI.
He wunLed Lo muke LIIs mucI cIeur, Ie wenL on. TIe pIun, us Ie Iud suId, wus orIgInuIIy
ScIwerdLIeger's, buL ¡ wouId probubIy undersLund IIs, AdrIun's, wIsI LIuL LIey sIouId noL geL
LIuL ImpressIon In PensIon GIseIu. He wouId noL IIke Lo Iuve RudoII InvILe LIem, buL ruLIer IuId
sLress on doIng IL IImseII, LIougI even so noL Loo dIrecLIy. WouId ¡ be so good us Lo wungIe LIe
LIIng Ior IIm In sucI u wuy LIuL beIore my nexL vIsIL Lo PIeIIIerIng, In oLIer words LIe nexL duy
buL one, ¡ cuIIed upon LIe IudIes In LIeIr pensIon und In u sense us IIs messenger, II onIy by
InIerence, brougIL LIem LIe InvILuLIon?
"You wouId be obIIgIng me very mucI by LIIs IrIendIy servIce," Ie ended, wILI u curIous
IormuIILy.
¡ begun Lo puL some quesLIons In my Lurn, buL LIen suppressed LIem und sImpIy promIsed IIm
Lo curry ouL IIs wIsI, ussurIng IIm LIuL ¡ wus very mucI pIeused wILI LIe enLerprIse, Ior IIm und
Ior uII oI us. So ¡ wus. ¡ Iud uIreudy serIousIy usked myseII Iow LIe InLenLIons Ie Iud conIIded Lo
me were Lo be IurLIered und LIIngs seL goIng. ¡L dId noL seem udvIsubIe jusL Lo Ieuve Lo cIunce
IurLIer occusIons Ior meeLIng wILI LIe womun oI IIs cIoIce. TIe sILuuLIon dId noL uIIord u very
wIde murgIn, IL Iud Lo be IeIped ouL, LIere wus need oI InILIuLIve - und Iere IL wus. Wus LIe Ideu
reuIIy ScIwerdLIeger's, or Iud AdrIun mereIy puL IL oII on IIm ouL oI sIyness uL ussumIng quILe
conLrury Lo IIs nuLure LIe roIe oI u Iover, und suddenIy LukIng LIougIL Ior socIuI uIIuIrs und
sIeIgIIng-purLIes? AII LIIs seemed Lo me so mucI beneuLI IIs dIgnILy LIuL ¡ wIsIed Ie Iud LoId
LIe LruLI ruLIer LIun mude LIe IIddIer responsIbIe Ior LIe Ideu; yeL ¡ couId noL quILe suppress LIe
quesLIon wIeLIer our pIxy pIuLonIsL mIgIL noL Iuve Iud u Iund In LIe enLerprIse.
BuL us Ior quesLIons, uILer uII ¡ Iud buL one: wIy dId AdrIun - II Ie wunLed Lo IeL MurIe know
LIuL Ie wus mukIng pIuns In order Lo see Ier - noL uddress IImseII Lo Ier dIrecL, rIng Ier up,
even go Lo MunIcI, cuII on LIe IudIes und puL IIs pIuns beIore LIem? ¡ dId noL know LIen LIuL
wIuL wus InvoIved wus u Lendency, un Ideu, In u wuy u sorL oI reIeursuI Ior someLIIng Lo come
IuLer; u puLLern, ¡ meun, oI sendIng Lo LIe beIoved - Ior LIuL Is wIuL ¡ musL cuII Ier - und IeuvIng
IL Lo someone eIse Lo speuk Lo Ier.
TIe IIrsL LIme IL wus ¡ Lo wIom Ie enLrusLed LIe messuge, und ¡ reudIIy perIormed my oIIIce.
TIen IL wus LIuL ¡ suw MurIe In LIe wIILe smock sIe wore over LIe coIIurIess pIuId bIouse, und
very weII IL becume Ier. ¡ Iound Ier uL Ier druwIng-bourd, u IIuL, Ieuvy pIece oI wood seL up uL u
sIunL, wILI un eIecLrIc IIgIL IusLened Lo IL. SIe rose Lo greeL me. We suL perIups LwenLy mInuLes In
LIe IILLIe sILLIng-room. BoLI IudIes proved recepLIve Lo LIe uLLenLIon sIown LIem, und weIcomed
wILI enLIusIusm LIe pIun Ior un excursIon, oI wIIcI ¡ onIy suId LIuL ¡ Iud noL orIgInuLed IL -
uILer droppIng LIe remurk LIuL ¡ wus on LIe wuy Lo my IrIend ¡everküIn. TIey suId LIuL wILIouL
sucI guIIunL escorLs LIey mIgIL probubIy never Iuve seen unyLIIng oI LIe Iumous envIronmenL oI
MunIcI or LIe BuvurIun AIps. TIe duy wus IIxed on, LIe LIme oI meeLIng. ¡ wus ubIe Lo brIng
AdrIun u gruLIIyIng reporL; ¡ mude IL quILe cIrcumsLunLIuI, weuvIng InLo IL pruIses oI MurIe's
uppeurunce In Ier workIng smock. He LIunked me In LIe words, spoken so Iur us ¡ couId Ieur
wILIouL Iumour:
"WeII, you see, IL Is u good LIIng uILer uII Lo Iuve reIIubIe IrIends."
TIe ruIIwuy IIne Lo LIe vIIIuge oI LIe PussIon PIuy Is Ior mosL oI LIe dIsLunce LIe sume us LIe
GurmIscI-PurLenkIrcIen IIne, onIy bruncIIng oII uL LIe end. ¡L goes LIrougI WuIdsIuL und PIeII-
IerIng. AdrIun IIved IuII-wuy Lo our gouI, so IL wus onIy LIe resL oI us, ScIwerdLIeger,
ScIIIdknupp, LIe guesLs Irom PurIs, und my wIIe und myseII wIo IorguLIered uL ubouL Len In LIe
mornIng uL LIe sLuLIon In MunIcI. WILIouL AdrIun we covered LIe IIrsL Iour LIrougI LIe IIuL und
Irozen counLrysIde, beguIIIng LIe LIme wILI sundwIcIes und red wIne brougIL by my wIIe.
ScIIIdknupp mude us uII IuugI by IIs exuggeruLed eugerness Lo geL us mucI us LIe resL: "Don'L
muke LIe Iong IeIIow come sIorL," Ie cIumoured In EngIIsI, usIng u nIcknume Ie wenL by umong
us. HIs nuLuruI, unconceuIed, und umusIngIy purodIed Ieur oI noL geLLIng enougI Lo euL wus
IrresIsLIbIy comIc; wILI goggIIng eyes Ie cIewed u Longue sundwIcI In ImILuLIon oI u sLurvIng
mun. AII LIese jesLs were unmIsLukubIy Ior MIIe Godeuu's beneIIL; Ie IIked Ier, oI course, us
mucI us LIe resL oI us dId. SIe wus weurIng u mosL becomIng oIIve-green wInLer cosLume,
LrImmed wILI bunds oI brown Iur. A sorL oI suggesLIbIIILy In my nuLure, sImpIy becuuse ¡ knew
wIuL wus Lowurd, LempLed me Lo reveI uguIn und uguIn In LIe sIgIL oI Ier eyes, LIe pILcI-bIuck,
couI-bIuck, merry gIeum beLween LIe durkness oI Ier IusIes.
WIen AdrIun joIned us, greeLed wILI sIouLs by our IIgI-spIrILed group, ¡ goL u sudden sLurL -
II LIuL Is LIe rIgIL word Ior my IeeIIngs, und LruIy LIere wus someLIIng sLurLIIng ubouL LIem. We
were sILLIng uL cIose quurLers, noL In u compurLmenL buL In un open secLIon oI u second-cIuss
coucI oI u LIrougI LruIn. TIus AdrIun Iud under IIs own eyes LIe wIoIe runge oI bIue und bIuck
und IIke-coIoured ones: uLLrucLIon und IndIIIerence, sLImuIuLIon und equubIIILy, LIere LIey uII
were und wouId remuIn Ior LIe wIoIe duy, wIIcI LIus sLood In u wuy In LIe sIgn oI LIIs con-
sLeIIuLIon, perIups ougIL Lo sLund In IL, LIuL LIe InILIuLed mIgIL recognIze LIereIn LIe reuI Ideu oI
LIe excursIon.
TIere wus u nuLuruI IILness In LIe IucL LIuL uILer AdrIun joIned us LIe Iundscupe begun Lo rIse
und LIe mounLuIn scenery under snow, LIougI sLIII uL some dIsLunce, Lo come InLo vIew.
ScIIIdknupp dIsLInguIsIed IImseII by knowIng LIe numes oI LIIs or LIuL rIdge or wuII. TIe
BuvurIun AIps bousL no uugusL or uwe-InspIrIng gIunLs. YeL In LIeIr pure wIILe dress LIey
uIIorded u scene oI gIorIous wInLer spIendour, mounLIng boId und uusLere beLween wooded gorge
und wIde expunse us we wound umong LIem. TIe duy, Iowever, wus cIoudy, IncIIned Lo IrosL und
snow, und wus Lo cIeur onIy Lowurds evenIng. Our uLLenLIon even In LIe mIdsL oI conversuLIon
wus mosLIy gIven Lo LIe vIew. MurIe Ied LIe LuIk Lo LIeIr common experIence In ZurIcI, LIe
evenIng In LIe Ton-IuIIe und LIe vIoIIn concerLo. ¡ Iooked uL AdrIun LuIkIng wILI Ier. He Iud suL
down on LIe opposILe bencI; sIe wus beLween ScIIIdknupp und ScIwerdLIeger, wIIIe TunLcIen
cIuLLered good-nuLuredIy wILI HeIene und me. ¡ couId see LIuL Ie Iud Lo guurd IImseII us Ie
guzed uL Ier Iuce, Ier bIuck eyes. WILI IIs bIue ones RudoII Iooked on, wuLcIed AdrIun's
ubsorpLIon, und LIen suw Iow Ie cIecked IImseII und Lurned uwuy. DId Ie IeeI recompensed by
LIe pruIses LIuL AdrIun wus sIngIng In IIs beIuII? MurIe Iud modesLIy reIruIned Irom uny
expressIon oI opInIon ubouL LIe musIc; so LIey spoke onIy oI LIe perIormunce, und AdrIun
empIuLIcuIIy decIured LIuL even wILI LIe soIoIsL IImseII sILLIng opposILe, Ie couId noL reIruIn
Irom cuIIIng IIs pIuyIng musLerIy, consummuLe, sImpIy IncompurubIe. He udded u Iew cordIuI,
even gIowIng words ubouL RudI's urLIsLIc deveIopmenL In generuI und IIs undoubLedIy greuL
IuLure.
TIe mun LIus spoken oI seemed Lo dIscIuIm LIe pruIse; Ie suId: "Now, now!" und "Tu' di jei
hclten," und proLesLed LIuL LIe MusLer wus exuggeruLIng IrIgILIuIIy; buL Ie wus red wILI
pIeusure. NoL u doubL buL Ie wus overjoyed Lo Iuve IImseII pruIsed Lo LIe skIes In MurIe's
IeurIng; buL IIs deIIgIL In LIe IucL LIuL IL wus AdrIun wIo exLoIIed IIm wus jusL us munIIesL, und
IIs gruLILude expressed ILseII In udmIruLIon oI AdrIun's wuy oI speukIng. MurIe Iud Ieurd und
reud ubouL LIe purL perIormunce oI LIe Apocclçpse In Prugue, und sIe usked ubouL LIe work.
AdrIun puL Ier oII.
"¡eL us," Ie suId, "noL speuk oI LIese pIous peccudIIIoes!" RudI wus encIunLed.
"PIous peccudIIIoes!" Ie repeuLed, In ecsLusy. "DId you Ieur LIuL? TIe wuy Ie LuIks! How Ie
knows Iow Lo use words! He Is musLerIy, our MusLer!"
And Ie pressed AdrIun's knee. He wus one oI LIose peopIe wIo uIwuys Iuve Lo LoucI und IeeI
- LIe urm, LIe sIouIder, LIe eIbow. He dId IL even Lo me, und uIso Lo women, mosL oI wIom dId
noL dIsIIke IL.
¡n Oberummerguu our IILLIe purLy wuIked ubouL LIrougI LIe spIck und spun vIIIuge, udmIrIng
LIe quuInL peusunL Iouses wILI LIeIr rIcI ornumenL oI curven buIconIes und rIdge-poIes; dIsLIn-
guIsIIng LIose oI LIe AposLIes, LIe SuvIour, und LIe MoLIer oI God. WIIIe LIey cIImbed LIe
neurby CuIvurIenberg ¡ IeIL LIem Ior u IILLIe wIIIe Lo IInd u IIvery sLubIe ¡ knew und enguge u
sIedge. ¡ joIned LIem Ior dInner uL un Inn LIuL Iud u gIuss dunce-IIoor IIgILed Irom beneuLI und
surrounded by IILLIe LubIes. DurIng LIe LIeuLre seuson IL wus doubLIess crowded wILI IoreIgners;
now, Lo our suLIsIucLIon, IL wus uImosL empLy. TIere were onIy Lwo groups oI oLIer guesLs: uL one
LubIe un InvuIIdIsI genLIemun wILI u nursIng sIsLer In uLLendunce, uL LIe oLIer u purLy oI young
IoIk come ouL Ior LIe wInLer sporLs. ¡rom u pIuLIorm un orcIesLru oI IIve InsLrumenLs dIspensed
IIgIL musIc; LIey dIspIeused no one by LIe Iong InLervuIs LIey mude beLween LIe pIeces. WIuL
LIey pIuyed wus LrIvIuI und LIey pIuyed even LIuL budIy und IuILIngIy. AILer our rousL IowI RudI
ScIwerdLIeger couId sLund IL no Ionger und mude up IIs mInd Lo IeL IIs IIgIL sIIne, us IL suys In
LIe Good Book. He Look LIe vIoIInIsL's IIddIe uwuy Irom IIm, und uILer LurnIng IL round In IIs
Iunds und seeIng wIere IL cume Irom, Ie ImprovIsed mugnIIIcenLIy on IL, weuvIng In, Lo LIe
umusemenL oI our purLy, some snuLcIes Irom LIe cudenzu oI "IIs" concerLo. TIe orcIesLru sLood
open-mouLIed. TIen Ie usked LIe pIunIsL, u weury-eyed youLI wIo Iud cerLuInIy dreumed oI
someLIIng IIgIer LIun IIs presenL occupuLIon, II Ie couId uccompuny Dvoruk's Humoresque,
und on LIe medIocre IIddIe pIuyed LIe popuIur pIece, wILI ILs muny gruce noLes, cIurmIng gIIdes,
und preLLy doubIe sLoppIng; so perLIy und brIIIIunLIy LIuL Ie won Ioud uppIuuse Irom everybody
In LIe pIuce, ourseIves und LIe neIgIbourIng LubIes, LIe umuzed musIcIuns, und LIe Lwo wuILers
us weII.
¡L wus uILer uII u sLereoLyped pIeusunLry, us ScIIIdknupp jeuIousIy muLLered In my eur; buL
cIurmIng und drumuLIc Loo, In sIorL "nIce," In perIecL RudI ScIwerdLIeger sLyIe. We sLuyed
Ionger LIun we meunL, LIe oLIer guesLs IuvIng IeIL, over our coIIee und genLIun brundy. We even
Iud u IILLIe dunce ourseIves, on LIe gIuss IIoor: ScIIIdknupp und ScIwerdLIeger duncIng by Lurns
wILI MIIe Godeuu und my good HeIene, God knows wIuL sorL oI dunce, under LIe benevoIenL eye
oI LIe LIree wIo reIruIned. TIe sIedge wus wuILIng ouLsIde, u roomy one wILI u puIr oI Iorses und
weII provIded wILI Iur rugs. ¡ Look LIe pIuce nexL LIe coucImun und ScIIIdknupp mude good IIs
LIreuL oI beIng drugged on skIs beIInd us - LIe drIver Iud brougIL u puIr. TIe oLIer IIve Iound
comIorLubIe quurLers In LIe body oI LIe veIIcIe. ¡L wus LIe mosL IuppIIy pIunned purL oI LIe
progrum, usIde Irom LIe IucL LIuL RüdIger's vIrIIe enLerprIse mIscurrIed. SLundIng In LIe Icy wInd,
drugged over uII LIe bumps In LIe roud, sIowered wILI snow, Ie cuugIL coId In IIs mosL sensILIve
pIuce und IeII vIcLIm Lo one oI IIs InLesLInuI cuLurrIs, wIIcI kepL IIm In bed Ior duys. OI course
LIIs mIsIorLune wus onIy reveuIed uILerwurds. ¡, Ior my purL, Iove Lo be borne uIong snugIy
wrupped und wurm, Lo LIe subdued cIImIng oI LIe beIIs, LIrougI LIe pure, sIurp, IrosLy uIr; so IL
seemed Lo me LIuL everybody eIse IeIL LIe sume. To know LIuL beIInd me AdrIun und MurIe were
sILLIng IookIng InLo eucI oLIer's eyes mude my IeurL beuL wILI u mIxLure oI curIosILy, joy,
concern, und IervenL Iope.
¡InderIoI, LIe smuII rococo cusLIe oI ¡udwIg ¡¡, IIes umong woods und mounLuIns In u remoLe
soIILude oI spIendId beuuLy. Never wus LIere u more IuIry-LuIe reLreuL Ior u mIsunLIropIc mon-
urcI. BuL despILe uII LIe enLIusIusm Induced by LIe mugIc oI LIe IocuIILy, we IeIL puL oII by LIe
LusLe wIIcI LIuL prInce dIspIuyed In IIs ceuseIess ILcI Lo buIId, In reuIILy un expressIon oI LIe
compuIsIon Lo gIorIIy IIs reguI esLuLe. We sLopped uL ¡InderIoI und guIded by LIe cusLeIIun wenL
LIrougI LIe sumpLuous overIuden IILLIe rooms wIIcI Iormed LIe "IIvIng-upurLmenLs" oI LIe
IunLusLIc ubode. TIere LIe mud monurcI spenL IIs duys, consumed wILI LIe Ideu oI IIs own
mujesLy; von BuIow pIuyed Lo IIm, und Ie IIsLened Lo LIe beguIIIng voIce oI KuInz. ¡n LIe cusLIes
oI prInces LIe IurgesL room Is usuuIIy LIe LIrone-room. Here LIere Is none. ¡nsLeud LIere Is LIe
bedcIumber, oI u sIze very sLrIkIng compured wILI LIe smuIIness oI LIe IIvIng-rooms. TIe sLuLe
bed, ruIsed soIemnIy on u duIs und IookIng ruLIer sIorL on uccounL oI ILs exuggeruLed wIdLI, Is
IIunked IIke u bIer wILI goId cundeIubru.
WILI due und proper InLeresL, II wILI some prIvuLe Ieud-sIukIng, we Look IL uII In und LIen
under u brIgILenIng sky conLInued on our wuy Lo KIosLer ELLuI, wIIcI Ius u soIId urcIILecLuruI
repuLuLIon on uccounL oI ILs BenedIcLIne Abbey und buroque cIurcI. ¡ recuII LIuL us we drove und
IuLer wIIIe we Look our evenIng meuI In LIe cIeunIy IoLeI opposILe LIe cIoIsLer we LuIked uL IengLI
ubouL LIe "unIuppy" KIng (wIy, reuIIy, unIuppy?) InLo wIose eccenLrIc spIere we Iud
peneLruLed. TIe dIscussIon wus InLermILLed onIy by u vIsIL Lo LIe cIurcI; IL wus In LIe muIn u
conLroversy beLween RudI ScIwerdLIeger und me over LIe so-cuIIed mudness, LIe IncupucILy Ior
reIgnIng, LIe deLIronemenL und IeguI resLruInL oI ¡udwIg. To RudI's greuL usLonIsImenL ¡ pro-
nounced uII LIuL unjusLIIIubIe, u bruLuI pIece oI pIIIIsLInIsm, und In uddILIon u poIILIcuI move In
LIe InLeresL oI LIe successIon.
RudI Look IIs sLund on LIe InLerpreLuLIon, noL so mucI popuIur us bourgeoIs und oIIIcIuI, LIuL
LIe KIng wus "compIeLeIy cruckers" us Ie puL IL. ¡L Iud been ubsoIuLeIy necessury Ior LIe suke oI
LIe counLry Lo Lurn IIm over Lo psycIIuLrIsLs und keepers und seL up u menLuIIy sound regency.
He, RudoII, dId noL undersLund wIy LIere sIouId be uny quesLIon ubouL IL. ¡n LIe wuy Ie Iud
wIen some poInL oI vIew wus compIeLeIy new Lo IIm, Ie bored IIs bIue eyes InLo my rIgIL und
my IeIL In Lurn us ¡ spoke und IIs IIp curIed ungrIIy. ¡ musL suy LIuL ¡ surprIsed even myseII by LIe
eIoquence wIIcI LIe subjecL uroused In me, uILIougI beIore LIuL duy ¡ Iud scurceIy gIven IL u
LIougIL. ¡ Iound LIuL unconscIousIy ¡ Iud Iormed quILe decIded opInIons. ¡nsunILy, ¡ expIuIned,
wus un umbIguous concepLIon, used quILe urbILrurIIy by LIe uveruge mun, on LIe busIs oI crILerIu
very mucI open Lo quesLIon. Very eurIy, und In cIose correspondence wILI IIs own uverugeness,
LIe pIIIIs-LIne esLubIIsIed IIs personuI sLundurds oI "reusonubIe" beIuvIour. WIuL wenL beyond
LIose norms wus InsunILy. BuL u sovereIgn KIng, surrounded by devoLIon, dIspensed Irom
crILIcIsm und responsIbIIILy, IIcensed, In supporL oI IIs dIgnILy, Lo IIve In u sLyIe IorbIdden Lo LIe
weuILIIesL prIvuLe mun, couId gIve wuy Lo sucI IunLusLIc LusLes und LendencIes; Lo LIe
gruLIIIcuLIon oI sucI buIIIIng pussIons und desIres, sucI nervous uLLrucLIons und repuIsIons, LIuL
u IuugILy und consummuLe expIoILuLIon oI LIem mIgIL very eusIIy Iook IIke mudness. To wIuL
morLuI beIow LIIs reguI eIevuLIon wouId IL be gIven Lo creuLe Ior IImseII, us ¡udwIg Iud done,
gIIded soIILudes In cIosen sILes oI gIorIous nuLuruI beuuLy! TIese cusLIes, cerLuInIy, were
monumenLs oI royuI mIsunLIropy. BuL II we ure IurdIy jusLIIIed In consIderIng IL u sympLom oI
menLuI uberruLIon wIen u mun oI uveruge equIpmenL uvoIds IIs IeIIows, wIy LIen sIouId IL be
uIIowubIe Lo do so wIen LIe sume LusLe Is ubIe Lo gruLIIy ILseII on u reguI scuIe?
BuL sIx Ieurned proIessIonuI uIIenIsLs Iud esLubIIsIed LIe InsunILy oI LIe KIng und decIured LIe
necessILy Ior IIs InLernmenL.
TIose compIIunL uIIenIsLs Iud done wIuL LIey dId becuuse LIey were cuIIed on Lo do IL.
WILIouL ever seeIng ¡udwIg, wILIouL IuvIng exumIned IIm even uccordIng Lo LIeIr own
meLIods, wILIouL ever IuvIng spoken u word Lo IIm. A conversuLIon wILI IIm ubouL musIc und
poeLry wouId jusL us weII Iuve convInced LIose IdIoLs oI IIs mudness. On LIe busIs oI LIeIr
verdIcL LIIs mun wus deprIved oI LIe rIgIL Lo dIspose oI IIs own person, wIIcI doubLIess
depurLed Irom LIe normuI, LIougI IL by no meuns IoIIowed LIuL Ie wus mud. TIey degruded IIm
Lo LIe sLuLus oj c puLIenL, sIuL IIm up In IIs cusLIe by LIe Iuke, unscrewed LIe door-knobs und
burred LIe wIndows. He Iud noL puL up wILI IL, Ie Iud sougIL Ireedom or deuLI und In deuLI Iud
Luken IIs docLor-juIIer wILI IIm: LIuL wus evIdence oI IIs sense oI dIgnILy, buL no convIncIng
prooI oI LIe dIugnosIs oI mudness. Nor dId LIe beurIng oI IIs enLouruge speuk Ior IL, LIey IuvIng
been reudy Lo IIgIL on IIs beIuII; nor LIe IunuLIcuI Iove oI LIe peusunLs, euger Lo dIe Ior LIeIr
"KInI." WIen LIey Iud seen IIm drIvIng LIrougI IIs mounLuIns, uL nIgIL, uIone, wrupped In Iurs,
In u goIden sIedge wILI ouLrIders, In LIe gIeum oI LorcIes, LIey Iud seen no mudmun, buL u KIng
uILer LIeIr own rude romunLIc IeurLs. And II Ie Iud succeeded In swImmIng ucross LIe Iuke, us Ie
Iud obvIousIy meunL Lo do, LIey wouId Iuve come Lo IIs rescue on LIe oLIer sIde wILI pILcIIorks
und IIuIIs uguInsL uII LIe medIcos und poIILIcIuns In LIe worId.
BuL IIs IrunLIc exLruvugunce wus u deIInILe sIgn oI un unbuIunced mInd; IL Iud become
InLoIerubIe; und IIs powerIessness Lo govern Iud IoIIowed upon IIs unwIIIIngness Lo govern: Ie
Iud mereIy dreumed IIs kIngsIIp, reIusIng Lo exercIse IL In uny normuI Iorm. ¡n sucI u wuy no
sLuLe cun survIve.
"OI, nonsense, RudoII. A normuIIy consLrucLed mInIsLer-presIdenL cun govern u modern
IederuLed sLuLe even II LIe kIng Is Loo sensILIve Lo sLund LIe sIgIL oI IIs und IIs coIIeugues' Iuces.
BuvurIu wouId noL Iuve been ruIned even II LIey Iud gone on IeLLIng ¡udwIg InduIge IIs soIILury
IobbIes, und LIe exLruvugunce oI u kIng meunL noLIIng, IL wus jusL words, u preLexL und swIndIe.
TIe money sLuyed In LIe counLry und sLonemusons und goId-beuLers goL rIcI on IIs IuIry puIuces.
More LIun LIuL, LIe esLuLes Iud puId Ior LIemseIves over und over, wILI LIe enLrunce Iees druwn
Irom LIe romunLIc curIosILy oI Lwo IemIspIeres. We ourseIves Iud Loduy conLrIbuLed Lo Lurn LIe
mudness InLo good busIness... WIy, ¡ don'L undersLund you, RudoII," ¡ crIed. "You open you?
mouLI In usLonIsImenL uL my upoIogIu, buL ¡ um LIe one wIo Ius LIe rIgIL Lo be surprIsed uL you
und noL Lo undersLund Iow you, precIseIy you - ¡ meun us un urLIsL, und unyIow, jusL you ..."
¡ sougIL Ior words Lo expIuIn wIy ¡ wus surprIsed, und Iound none. My eIoquence IuILered; und
uII LIe LIme ¡ Iud LIe IeeIIng LIuL IL wus un ImproprIeLy Ior me Lo IoId IorLI IIke LIuL In AdrIun's
presence. He sIouId Iuve spoken. And yeL perIups IL wus beLLer LIuL ¡ dId IL; Ior my mInd
mIsguve me IesL Ie be cupubIe oI ugreeIng wILI ScIwerdLIeger. ¡ Iud Lo prevenL LIuL by speukIng
myseII, In IIs proper spIrIL. ¡ LIougIL MurIe Godeuu uIso wus LukIng my ucLIon In LIuL sense,
regurdIng me, wIom Ie Iud senL Lo Ier ubouL LIe duy's excursIon, us IIs mouLIpIece. ¡or sIe
Iooked uL IIm wIIIe ¡ wus workIng myseII up, us LIougI sIe were IIsLenIng Lo IIm und noL Lo me.
¡or IIs purL, Indeed, Ie Iud un enIgmuLIc smIIe on IIs IIps, u smIIe LIuL wus Iur Irom conIIrmIng
me us IIs represenLuLIve.
"WIuL Is LruLI?" Ie suId uL IusL. And RüdIger ScIIIdknupp cIImed In uL once, usserLIng LIuL
LruLI Iud vurIous uspecLs, oI wIIcI In LIe presenL cuse LIe medIcuI und prucLIcuI were perIups
noL LIe IIgIesL ones, yeL even so couId noL quILe be brusIed usIde.
¡n LIe nuLuruIIsLIc vIew oI LruLI, Ie udded, LIe duII und LIe meIuncIoIy were remurkubIy
enougI unILed. TIuL wus noL Lo be Luken us un uLLuck on "our RudoII," wIo cerLuInIy wus noL
meIuncIoIIc; buL IL mIgIL puss us u cIurucLerIzuLIon oI u wIoIe epocI, LIe nIneLeenLI cenLury,
wIIcI Iud exIIbILed u dIsLIncL Lendency Lo boLI duIIness und gIoom. AdrIun IuugIed - noL, oI
course, ouL oI surprIse. ¡n IIs presence one Iud uIwuys LIe IeeIIng LIuL uII LIe Ideus und poInLs oI
vIew mude vocuI round ubouL IIm were presenL In IImseII; LIuL Ie, IronIcuIIy IIsLenIng, IeIL IL Lo
LIe IndIvIduuI Iumun consLILuLIons Lo express und represenL LIem. TIe Iope wus expressed LIuL
LIe young LwenLIeLI cenLury mIgIL deveIop u more eIevuLed und InLeIIecLuuIIy u more cIeerIuI
Lemper. TIen LIe conversuLIon spIIL up und exIuusLed ILseII In dIsjoInLed specuIuLIon on LIe
sIgns, II uny, LIuL LIIs mIgIL come Lo puss. ¡uLIgue begun Lo seL In, IoIIowIng on uII our ucLIvILy In
LIe wInLry mounLuIn uIr. TIe LIme-LubIe Loo puL In ILs word, we summoned our drIver, und under
u brIIIIunLIy sLurry sky drove Lo LIe IILLIe sLuLIon und wuILed on LIe pIuLIorm Ior LIe MunIcI LruIn.
TIe Iomewurd journey wus u quIeL one, II onIy ouL oI respecL Ior LIe sIumberIng TunLcIen.
ScIIIdknupp now und LIen mude u Iow-voIced remurk Lo MIIe Godeuu. ¡ reussured myseII, In
conversuLIon wILI ScIwerdLIeger, LIuL Ie Iud Luken noLIIng umIss. AdrIun LuIked commonpIuces
wILI HeIene. AguInsL uII expecLuLIon und Lo my unspoken gruLIIIcuLIon und umusemenL, Ie dId
noL Ieuve us In WuIdsIuL, buL InsIsLed on uccompunyIng our PurIs guesLs buck Lo MunIcI und
LIeIr pensIon. TIe resL oI us suId good-bye uL LIe sLuLIon und wenL our wuys, wIIIe Ie escorLed
uunL und nIece In u LuxI Lo LIeIr pensIon - u cIIvuIrous ucL wIIcI In my eyes Iud LIe meunIng
LIuL Ie spenL LIe IusL momenLs oI LIe decIInIng duy onIy In LIe compuny oI LIe bIuck eyes.
TIe usuuI eIeven-o'cIock LruIn bore IIm buck Lo IIs modesL reLreuL, wIere Irom uIur oII Ie
unnounced IIs comIng by LIe IIgI noLes oI IIs pIpe Lo LIe wuLcIIuI und prowIIng KuscIperI-
Suso.

CHAPTIR XLI
My sympuLIeLIc reuders und IrIends: IeL me go on wILI my LuIe. Over Germuny desLrucLIon
LIIckens. RuLs grown IuL on corpses Iouse In LIe rubbIe oI our cILIes; LIe LIunder oI LIe RussIun
cunnon roIIs on Lowurds BerIIn; LIe crossIng oI LIe RIIne wus cIIId's pIuy Lo LIe AngIo-Suxons;
our own wIII seems Lo Iuve unILed wILI LIe enemy's Lo muke IL LIuL. "An end Is come, LIe end Is
come, IL wuLcIeLI Ior LIee, beIoId IL Is come. TIe mornIng Is come unLo LIee, O LIou LIuL
dweIIesL In LIe Iund." BuL IeL me go on. WIuL Iuppened beLween AdrIun und RudI ScIwerdLIeger
onIy Lwo duys uILer LIuL so memorubIe excursIon, wIuL Iuppened und Iow IL Iuppened - ¡
know, IeL LIe objecLIon be Len LImes ruIsed LIuL ¡ couId noL know IL becuuse ¡ wus noL LIere. No, ¡
wus noL LIere. BuL Loduy IL Is psycIoIogIcuI IucL LIuL ¡ wus LIere, Ior wIoever Ius IIved u sLory IIke
LIIs, IIved IL LIrougI, us ¡ Iuve IIved LIIs one, LIuL IrIgILIuI InLImucy mukes IIm un eye- und eur-
wILness even Lo ILs IIdden pIuses.
AdrIun pIoned und usked LIe compunIon oI IIs HungurIun journey Lo come Lo IIm uL
PIeIIIerIng. He musL come us soon us possIbIe, Ior LIe muLLer wus pressIng. RudoII wus uIwuys
compIIunL. He receIved LIe summons uL Len In LIe mornIng - durIng AdrIun's workIng Iours, In
ILseII un unusuuI evenL - und by Iour In LIe uILernoon LIe vIoIInIsL wus on LIe spoL. He wus Lo
pIuy LIuL evenIng uL u subscrIpLIon concerL by LIe ZupIensLosser orcIesLru - AdrIun Iud never
once LIougIL oI IL.
"You ordered me," RudoII suId, "wIuL's up?"
"¡'II LeII you uL once," unswered AdrIun. "BuL LIe greuL LIIng Is LIuL you ure Iere. ¡ um gIud Lo
see you, even more LIun usuuI. Remember LIuL!"
"A goIden Irume Ior wIuLever you Iuve Lo suy," responded RudI, wILI u wonderIuIIy IIowery
Lurn oI pIruse.
AdrIun suggesLed LIuL LIey sIouId Luke u wuIk, one LuIked beLLer wuIkIng. ScIwerdLIeger
ugreed wILI pIeusure, onIy regreLLIng LIuL Ie Iud noL mucI LIme, Ie Iud Lo be uL LIe sLuLIon Ior
LIe sIx-o'cIock LruIn, so us noL Lo be IuLe Ior IIs concerL. AdrIun sLruck IIs IoreIeud und begged
purdon Ior IIs IorgeLIuIness. PerIups RudI wouId IInd IL more undersLundubIe wIen Ie Ieurd
wIuL Ie Iud Lo suy.
¡L wus LIuwIng. TIe snow wIere IL Iud been sIoveIIed wus meILIng und seLLIIng; LIe puLIs were
begInnIng Lo be sIusIy; LIe IrIends wore LIeIr oversIoes. RudoII Iud noL even Luken oII IIs sIorL
Iur juckeL, und AdrIun Iud puL on IIs cumeI's-IuIr uIsLer. TIey wuIked Lowurds LIe
KIummerweIIer und round ILs bunks. AdrIun usked wIuL LIe evenIng progrum wus Lo be. "AguIn
BruIms's ¡IrsL us pIece de resIsLunce - uguIn LIe 'TenLI SympIony'? WeII, you sIouId be
pIeused: you Iuve some good LIIngs In LIe udugIo." TIen Ie reIuLed LIuL us u Iud begInnIng
pIuno, Iong beIore Ie knew unyLIIng ubouL BruIms, Ie Iud InvenLed u moLII uImosL IdenLIcuI
wILI LIe IIgIIy romunLIc Iorn LIeme In LIe IusL movemenL, LIougI wILIouL LIe rIyLImIcuI LrIck
oI LIe doLLed quuver IoIIowIng LIe semIquuver, buL meIodIcuIIy In LIe sume spIrIL.
"¡nLeresLIng," suId ScIwerdLIeger.
"WeII, und our SuLurduy excursIon?" Hud Ie enjoyed IImseII? DId Ie LIInk LIe oLIers Iud?
"CouId noL Iuve gone oII beLLer," decIured RudoII. He wus sure LIuL everybody remembered
LIe duy wILI pIeusure, excepL probubIy ScIIIdknupp, wIo Iud overdone IImseII und wus now III
In bed. "He Is uIwuys Loo umbILIous wIen IudIes ure presenL." AnyIow, Ie, RudoII, Iud no reuson
Lo be sympuLIeLIc, Ior RüdIger Iud been ruLIer rude Lo IIm.
"He knows you cun Luke u joke."
"So ¡ cun. BuL Ie dId noL need Lo rub IL In IIke LIuL, uILer Serenus Iud borne down so Iurd wILI
IIs IoyuIIsL propugundu."
"He Is u scIooImusLer. We Iuve Lo IeL IIm InsLrucL und correcL."
"WILI red Ink, yes. AL LIe momenL ¡ IeeI quILe IndIIIerenL Lo boLI oI LIem- now ¡ um Iere und
you Iuve someLIIng Lo LeII me."
"QuILe rIgIL. And wIen we LuIk ubouL LIe excursIon we ure ucLuuIIy on LIe subjecL - u subjecL
ubouL wIIcI you couId obIIge me very mucI."
"ObIIge you?"
"TeII me, wIuL do you LIInk oI MurIe Godeuu?"
"TIe Godeuu? Everybody musL IIke Ier - sureIy you do Loo?"
"¡Ike Is noL quILe LIe rIgIL word. ¡ wIII conIess Lo you LIuL ever sInce ZurIcI sIe Ius been very
mucI In my mInd, quILe serIousIy, so LIuL IL Is Iurd Lo beur LIe LIougIL oI LIe meeLIng us u mere
epIsode, uILer wIIcI sIe wIII go uwuy und ¡ muy never see Ier uguIn. ¡ IeeI us LIougI ¡ sIouId IIke
- us LIougI ¡ musL - uIwuys see Ier und Iuve Ier ubouL me."
ScIwerdLIeger sLood sLIII und Iooked uL LIe speuker, IIrsL In LIe one eye und LIen In LIe oLIer.
"ReuIIy?" suId Ie, goIng on uguIn, wILI benL Ieud.
"¡L Is Lrue," AdrIun ussured IIm. "¡ um sure you won'L Luke IL III oI me Ior conIIdIng In you. ¡L Is
precIseIy becuuse ¡ IeeI ¡ cun reIy on you."
"You muy reIy on me," RudoII murmured.
AdrIun wenL on:
"¡ook uL IL IumunIy speukIng. ¡ um geLLIng on In yeurs - ¡ um by now IorLy. WouId you, us my
IrIend, wunL me Lo spend LIe resL oI my IIIe In LIIs cIoIsLer? ConsIder me, ¡ suy, us u Iumun beIng
wIo suddenIy reuIIzes, wILI u sorL oI pung uL LIe IuLeness oI LIe Iour, LIuL Ie wouId IIke u reuI
Iome, u compunIon congenIuI In LIe IuIIesL sense oI LIe word; In sIorL, u wurmer und more Iu-
mun uLmospIere round IIm. NoL onIy Ior LIe suke oI comIorL, Lo be beLLer bedded down; buL
mosL oI uII becuuse Ie Iopes Lo geL Irom IL good und IIne LIIngs Ior IIs workIng energy und
enLIusIusm, Ior LIe Iumun conLenL oI IIs IuLure work."
ScIwerdLIeger wus sIIenL Ior u Iew puces. TIen Ie suId In u depressed Lone:
"You've suId Iumun und Iumun beIng Iour LImes. ¡'ve counLed. ¡runkness Ior Irunkness:
someLIIng sIrInks LogeLIer InsIde me, IL mukes me squIrm wIen you use LIe word us you do use
IL In reIerence Lo yourseII. ¡L sounds so IncredIbIy unsuILubIe - yes, IumIIIuLIng, In your mouLI.
Excuse me suyIng so. Hus your musIc been InIumun up LIII now? TIen IL owes ILs greuLness Lo ILs
InIumunILy. ¡orgIve LIe sImpIIcILy oI LIe remurk, buL ¡ wouId noL wunL Lo Ieur uny IumunIy
InspIred work Irom you."
"No? You reuIIy meun LIuL? And yeL you Iuve uIreudy LIree LImes pIuyed one beIore LIe pubIIc?
And Iud IL dedIcuLed Lo you? ¡ know you ure noL suyIng crueI LIIngs Lo me on purpose. BuL don'L
you LIInk IL's crueI Lo IeL me know LIuL onIy ouL oI InIumunILy ¡ um wIuL ¡ um und LIuL IumunILy
Is noL becomIng Lo me? CrueI, und LIougILIess - unyIow crueILy uIwuys comes oI
LIougILIessness. TIuL ¡ Iuve noLIIng Lo do wILI IumunILy, muy Iuve noLIIng Lo do wILI IL, LIuL Is
suId Lo me by LIe very person wIo Iud LIe umuzIng puLIence Lo wIn me over Ior LIe Iumun und
persuuded me Lo suy du, LIe person In wIom Ior LIe IIrsL LIme In my IIIe ¡ Iound Iumun
wurmLI."
"¡L seems Lo Iuve been u Lemporury mukesIIIL."
"And suppose IL were? Suppose IL were u muLLer oI geLLIng InLo prucLIce, u preIImInury sLuge,
und none LIe Iess worLI wIIIe Ior uII LIuL? A mun cume InLo my IIIe; by IIs IeurLIeIL IoIdIng ouL
Ie overcume deuLI - you mIgIL reuIIy puL IL IIke LIuL. He reIeused LIe Iumun In me, LuugIL me
IuppIness. ¡L muy never be known or be puL In uny bIogrupIy. BuL wIII LIuL dImInIsI ILs Im-
porLunce, or dIm LIe gIory wIIcI In prIvuLe beIongs Lo IL?"
"You know Iow Lo Lurn LIIngs very IIuLLerIngIy Ior me."
"¡ don'L Lurn LIem, ¡ jusL sLuLe LIem us LIey ure."
"AnyIow, we ure noL speukIng oI me buL oI MurIe Godeuu. ¡n order uIwuys Lo see Ier und Iuve
Ier ubouL you, us you suy, you musL Luke Ier Ior your wIIe."
"TIuL Is my wIsI und Iope."
"OI! Does sIe know?"
"¡ um uIruId noL. ¡ um uIruId ¡ do noL commund LIe meuns oI expressIon Lo brIng my IeeIIngs
und desIres Iome Lo Ier. ¡L emburrusses me Lo pIuy LIe IunguIsIIng swuIn In LIe compuny oI
oLIers."
"WIy don'L you go Lo see Ier?"
"Becuuse ¡ sIrInk Irom LIe Ideu oI comIng down on Ier wILI conIessIons und oIIers wIen on
uccounL oI my uwkwurdness sIe Ius probubIy noL LIe IuInLesL Ideu oI my IeeIIngs. ¡n Ier eyes ¡
um sLIII LIe InLeresLIng recIuse. ¡ dreud Ier IuIIure Lo undersLund und LIe IusLy repuIse LIuL
mIgIL be LIe resuIL."
"WIy don'L you wrILe Ier?"
"Becuuse IL mIgIL emburruss Ier even more. SIe wouId Iuve Lo unswer, und ¡ don'L know II sIe
Is good uL wrILIng. WIuL puIns sIe wouId Iuve Lo Luke Lo spure me II sIe Iud Lo suy no! And Iow
IL wouId IurL me! ¡ dreud LIe ubsLrucLness oI un excIunge IIke LIuL - IL sLrIkes me IL couId be u
dunger Lo my IuppIness. ¡ don'L IIke Lo LIInk oI MurIe, uIone, by IerseII, unInIIuenced by uny
personuI conLucL - ¡ mIgIL uImosL suy personuI pressure - IuvIng Lo wrILe un unswer Lo u
wrILLen proposuI. You see, ¡ um uIruId oI boLI wuys: LIe dIrecL uLLuck und LIe upproucI by IeLLer."
"TIen wIuL wuy do you see?"
"¡ LoId you LIuL In LIIs dIIIIcuIL sILuuLIon you couId be u greuL IeIp Lo me. ¡ wouId send you Lo
Ier."
"Me?"
"You, RudI. WouId IL seem so ubsurd Lo you II you were Lo consummuLe your servIce Lo me - ¡
um LempLed Lo suy Lo my suIvuLIon - by beIng my medIuLor, my ugenL, my InLerpreLer beLween
me und IIIe, my udvocuLe Ior IuppIness? PosLerILy mIgIL noL Ieur oI IL - uguIn, perIups IL mIgIL.
¡L Is un Ideu oI mIne, un InspIruLIon, LIe wuy someLIIng comes wIen you compose. You musL
uIwuys ussume beIoreIund LIuL LIe InspIruLIon Is noL uILogeLIer new. WIuL Is LIere In noLes
LIemseIves, LIuL Is uILogeLIer new? BuL LIe wuy IL Iooks jusL Iere, In LIIs IIgIL, In LIIs connecLIon,
someLIIng LIuL Ius uIwuys been LIere muy be new, new-uIIve, one mIgIL suy; orIgInuI und
unIque."
"TIe newness Is my IeusL concern. WIuL you ure suyIng Is new enougI Lo sLugger me. ¡I ¡
undersLund you, ¡ um Lo puy your uddresses Lo MurIe Ior you, usk Ior Ier Iund Ior you?"
"You do undersLund me - you couId scurceIy mIsLuke. TIe euse wILI wIIcI you do so speuks
Ior LIe nuLuruIness oI LIe LIIng."
"Do you LIInk so? WIy don'L you send your Serenus?"
"You ure probubIy mukIng Iun oI my Serenus. ObvIousIy IL umuses you Lo pIcLure my Serenus
us Iove's messenger. We jusL spoke oI personuI ImpressIons wIIcI LIe gIrI sIouId noL be quILe
wILIouL In mukIng Ier decIsIon. Don'L be surprIsed LIuL ¡ ImugIne sIe wouId IncIIne Ier eur Lo
your words more LIun Lo unyLIIng sucI u sober-sIdes us my Serenus couId suy."
"¡ do noL IeeI In LIe IeusL IIke jokIng, AdrI - becuuse In LIe IIrsL pIuce IL goes Lo my IeurL und
mukes me IeeI soIemn, LIe roIe you ussIgn Lo me In your IIIe, und even beIore posLerILy. ¡ usked
ubouL ZeILbIom becuuse Ie Ius been your IrIend so mucI Ionger - "
"Yes, Ionger."
"Good, LIen onIy Ionger. BuL don'L you LIInk LIIs onIy wouId muke IIs Lusk eusIer und IImseII
beLLer uL IL?"
"¡IsLen, Iow wouId IL be II we jusL dropped IIm ouL oI our mInds? ¡n my eyes Ie Ius noLIIng Lo
do wILI Iove-uIIuIrs und LIuL sorL oI LIIng. ¡L Is you, noL Ie, In wIom ¡ Iuve conIIded, you know
LIe wIoIe sLory, ¡ Iuve opened Lo you LIe mosL secreL puges In LIe book oI my IeurL, us LIey used
Lo suy. ¡I you now open LIem Lo Ier und IeL Ier reud; II you LuIk Lo Ier oI me, speuk weII oI me, by
degrees beLruy mç IeeIIngs, und LIe IIIe-wIsIes bound up wILI LIem! Try Ier, genLIy, uppeuIIngIy
- 'nIceIy,' LIe wuy you Iuve - Lry II sIe, weII, yes, II sIe couId Iove me! WIII you? You don'L Iuve
Lo brIng me Ier IInuI consenL - God IorbId! A IILLIe encourugemenL Is quILe enougI us u
concIusIon Lo your mIssIon. ¡I you brIng me LIuL mucI buck, LIuL LIe LIougIL oI sIurIng my IIIe
wILI me Is noL uLLerIy repugnunL Lo Ier, noL exucLIy monsLrous - LIen my Lurn wIII come und ¡
wIII speuk wILI Ier und Ier uunL myseII."
TIey Iud IeIL LIe RoImbüIeI on LIeIr IeIL und wuIked LIrougI LIe IILLIe pIne wood beIInd IL,
wIere LIe wuLer wus drIppIng Irom LIe bougIs. Now LIey sLruck InLo LIe puLI uL LIe edge oI LIe
vIIIuge, wIIcI brougIL LIem buck Iome. Here und LIere u coLLuger or peusunL suIuLed by nume
LIe Iong-sLundIng Iodger oI LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs. RudoII, uILer u IILLIe wIIIe, begun uguIn:
"You muy be sure LIuL IL wIII be eusy Ior me Lo speuk weII oI you. So mucI LIe more, AdrI,
becuuse you pruIsed me so Lo Ier. BuL ¡ wIII be quILe open wILI you - us open us you Iuve been
wILI me. WIen you usked me wIuL ¡ LIougIL oI MurIe Godeuu, ¡ Iud LIe unswer reudy LIuL
everybody musL IIke Ier. ¡ wIII conIess LIuL LIere wus more In LIuL unswer LIun LIere seemed. ¡
sIouId never Iuve udmILLed IL Lo you II you Iud noL, us you puL IL wILI sucI oId-worId poeLry, IeL
me reud In LIe book oI your IeurL."
"You see me LruIy ImpuLIenL Ior your conIessIon."
"You've reuIIy Ieurd IL uIreudy. TIe gIrI - you don'L IIke LIe word - LIe womun, LIen, MurIe -
¡ um noL IndIIIerenL Lo Ier eILIer; und wIen ¡ suy noL IndIIIerenL, even LIuL Is noL quILe LIe rIgIL
wuy Lo puL IL. SIe Is LIe nIcesL, IoveIIesL IemInIne creuLure, ¡ LIInk, LIuL Ius come my wuy. Even
In ZurIcI - uILer ¡ Iud pIuyed, ¡ Iud pIuyed çou und wus IeeIIng wurm und suscepLIbIe, sIe
uIreudy cIurmed me. And Iere - you know IL wus ¡ suggesLed LIe excursIon, und In LIe InLervuI,
us you do noL know, ¡ Iud seen Ier: ¡ Iud Leu In PensIon GIseIu, wILI Ier und TunLe ¡subeuu, we
Iud sucI u nIce LIme... ¡ repeuL, AdrI, LIuL ¡ onIy come Lo speuk oI IL on uccounL oI our presenL
LuIk und our muLuuI Irunkness."
¡everküIn wus sIIenL u IILLIe. TIen Ie suId, In un oddIy IuILerIng und neuLruI voIce:
"No, ¡ dId noL know LIuL - ubouL your IeeIIngs nor ubouL LIe Leu. ¡ seem Lo Iuve been so
rIdIcuIous us Lo IorgeL LIuL you urs IIesI und bIood Loo und noL wrupped up In usbesLos uguInsL
LIe uL-LrucLIon oI LIe IoveIy und precIous. So you Iove Ier, or IeL us suy, you ure In Iove wILI Ier.
BuL now IeL me usk you one LIIng: does IL sLund so LIuL our InLenLIons cuL ucross eucI oLIer, so
LIuL you wunL Lo usk Ier Lo be your wIIe?"
ScIwerdLIeger seemed Lo consIder. He suId:
"No, ¡ Iudn'L LIougIL oI LIuL yeL."
"No? DId you LIInk you wouId sImpIy seduce Ier?"
"How you LuIk, AdrIun! Don'L suy sucI LIIngs! No, ¡ Iudn'L LIougIL oI LIuL eILIer."
"WeII, LIen, IeL me LeII you LIuL your conIessIon, your open und gruLIIyIng conIessIon, Is mucI
more IIkeIy Lo muke me sLIck Lo my requesL LIun Lo puL me oII IL."
"WIuL do you meun?"
"¡ meun IL In more LIun one sense. ¡ LIougIL oI you Ior LIIs servIce oI Iove becuuse you wouId
be mucI more In your eIemenL LIun, IeL us suy, Serenus ZeILbIom. You gIve ouL someLIIng Ie Ius
noL goL Lo gIve, wIIcI seems Lo be IuvourubIe Lo my wIsIes und Iopes. BuL usIde Irom LIIs: IL
seems now LIuL you even Lo u cerLuIn exLenL sIure my IeeIIngs, LIougI noL, us you ussure me, my
Iopes. You wIII speuk ouL oI your own IeeIIngs, Ior me und my Iopes. ¡ cunnoL possIbIy LIInk oI u
more orduIned or desIrubIe wooer."
"¡I you Iook uL IL IIke LIuL - "
"Do noL LIInk ¡ see IL onIy In LIuL IIgIL. ¡ see IL uIso In LIe IIgIL oI u sucrIIIce, und you cun
cerLuInIy demund LIuL ¡ sIouId Iook uL IL IIke LIuL. Demund IL LIen, wILI uII LIe empIusIs you cun
summon! ¡or LIuL meuns LIuL you, LIe sucrIIIce recognIzed us sucrIIIce, sLIII wunL Lo muke IL. You
muke IL In LIe spIrIL oI LIe roIe LIuL you pIuy In my IIIe, us u IInuI conLrIbuLIon Lo LIe merIL you
Iuve ucquIred Ior LIe suke oI my IumunILy; LIe servIce wIIcI perIups muy remuIn IIdden, or
perIups be reveuIed. Do you consenL?"
RudoII unswered:
"Yes, ¡ wIII go und do your errund Lo LIe besL oI my powers."
"We wIII sIuke Iunds on IL," suId AdrIun, "wIen you Ieuve."
TIey Iud goL buck Lo LIe Iouse, und ScIwerdLIeger Iud sLIII LIme Lo Iuve u bILe wILI IIs IrIend
In LIe NIkesuuI. Gereon ScIweIgesLIII Iud puL LIe Iorse In Ior IIm: despILe RudoII's pIeu noL Lo
LroubIe IImseII, AdrIun uccompunIed IIm Lo LIe sLuLIon, bouncIng on LIe seuL oI LIe IILLIe curL.
"No, IL Is LIe rIgIL LIIng Lo do, LIIs LIme quILe purLIcuIurIy," Ie decIured.
TIe uccommoduLIng IocuI LruIn drew up uL LIe IILLIe PIeIIIerIng IuIL. TIe Lwo cIusped Iunds
LIrougI LIe open wIndow.
"NoL unoLIer word," suId AdrIun: "OnIy 'nIceIy'!"
He ruIsed IIs urm us Ie Lurned Lo go. He never uguIn suw LIe LruveIIer wIom LIe LruIn bore
uwuy. He onIy receIved u IeLLer Irom IIm - u IeLLer Lo wIIcI Ie denIed uII unswer.

CHAPTIR XLII
TIe nexL LIme ¡ wus wILI IIm, Len or eIeven duys IuLer, LIe IeLLer wus uIreudy In IIs Iunds und
Ie unnounced Lo me IIs deIInILe decIsIon noL Lo unswer IL. He Iooked puIe und mude LIe
ImpressIon oI u mun wIo Ius Iud u Ieuvy bIow. A Lendency, wIIcI Indeed ¡ Iud noLIced In IIm
some LIme buck, Lo wuIk wILI IIs Ieud und Lorso sIIgILIy benL Lo one sIde wus now more murked.
SLIII Ie wus, or purporLed Lo be, perIecLIy cuIm, even cooI, und seemed uImosL Lo need Lo excuse
IImseII Ior IIs sIouIder-sIruggIng composure over LIe LreucIery Ie Iud been LIe vIcLIm oI.
"¡ IurdIy LIInk," Ie suId, "you expecLed uny ouLbursL oI moruI IndIgnuLIon. A dIsIoyuI IrIend.
WeII, wIuL oI IL? ¡ cunnoL IeeI greuLIy ouLruged uL LIe wuy oI LIe worId. ¡L Is bILLer, oI course; you
usk yourseII wIom you cun LrusL, wIen your own rIgIL Iund sLrIkes you In LIe breusL. BuL wIuL
wIII you Iuve? ¡rIends ure IIke LIuL Loduy. WIuL remuIns wILI me Is cIugrIn - und LIe
knowIedge LIuL ¡ deserve Lo be wIIpped."
¡ usked wIuL Ie Iud Lo be usIumed oI.
"OI beIuvIour," Ie unswered, "so sIIIy LIuL IL remInds me oI u scIooIboy wIo IInds u bIrd's nesL
und ouL oI sIeer joy sIows IL Lo unoLIer boy wIo LIen goes und sLeuIs IL."
WIuL couId ¡ suy excepL:
"¡L Is no sIn or sIume Lo be LrusLIng, sureIy; LIey ure LIe porLIon oI LIe LIIeI."
¡I onIy ¡ couId Iuve meL IIs seII-reproucIes wILI u IILLIe more convIcLIon! BuL LIe LruLI wus
LIuL ¡ ugreed wILI IIm. HIs wIoIe uLLILude, LIe wIoIe seL-up wILI LIe second-Iund wooIng, und
RudoII oI uII peopIe us go-beLween: ¡ Iound IL Iorced, devIous, unseemIy. ¡ needed onIy Lo
ImugIne LIuL InsLeud oI speukIng myseII Lo my HeIene, InsLeud oI usIng my own Longue, ¡ Iud
senL some uLLrucLIve IrIend oI mIne Lo LeII Ier my Iove, Lo see LIe wIoIe equIvocuI ubsurdILy oI
wIuL Ie Iud done. BuL wIy LIen objecL Lo IIs remorse - II remorse IL wus LIuL spoke In IIs words
und munner? He Iud IosL IrIend und beIoved uL one bIow. And by IIs own IuuIL, one musL udmIL.
¡I onIy one couId Iuve been quILe cerLuIn - II onIy ¡ myseII Iud been cerLuIn - LIuL we were
deuIIng wILI u IuuIL, un unconscIous IuIse sLep, u IuLuI Iuck oI judgmenL! ¡I onIy LIe suspIcIon Iud
noL sLoIen InLo my broodIng mInd LIuL Ie Iud Lo some exLenL Ioreseen wIuL wouId Iuppen und
LIuL IL Iud come ubouL us Ie wunLed IL Lo! CouId Ie Iuve serIousIy conceIved LIe Ideu LIuL wIuL
RudoII "guve ouL" - In oLIer words LIe young mun's undenIubIe sexuuI uppeuI - couId be mude
Lo work und woo Ior IIm, AdrIun? Wus IL credIbIe LIuL Ie Iud counLed on IL? SomeLImes LIe
specuIuLIon urose In my mInd LIuL wIIIe puLLIng IL us LIougI urgIng LIe oLIer Lo u sucrIIIce, Ie
Iud eIecLed IImseII us LIe ucLuuI vIcLIm; LIuL Ie deIIberuLeIy brougIL LogeLIer wIuL reuIIy dId
beIong LogeLIer, In un uIIInILy oI "nIceness" und cIurm In order Lo ubdIcuLe und reLreuL uguIn InLo
IIs IusLness. BuL sucI un Ideu wus more IIke me LIun IL wus IIke IIm. SucI u moLIve, so soIL und
sucrIIIcIuI, sucI ubneguLIon mIgIL Iuve sprung Irom my reverence Ior IIm und IuIn uL LIe boLLom
oI un uppurenL guucIerIe, u so-cuIIed sLupIdILy LIuL Ie wus supposed Lo Iuve commILLed. BuL
evenLs were Lo brIng me Iuce Lo Iuce wILI u reuIILy IursIer, coIder, crueIIer LIun my good nuLure
wouId Iuve been cupubIe oI wILIouL sLIIIenIng In Icy Iorror. TIuL wus u reuIILy wILIouL wILness or
prooI; ¡ recognIzed IL onIy by ILs sLurIng guze; und Ior uII oI me IL sIuII remuIn dumb, Ior ¡ um noL
LIe mun Lo gIve IL words.
¡ um cerLuIn LIuL ScIwerdLIeger, so Iur us Ie knew IImseII, wenL Lo MurIe Godeuu wILI LIe besL
und mosL correcL InLenLIons. BuL IL Is no Iess cerLuIn LIuL LIese InLenLIons Iud never Irom LIe IIrsL
been very IIrm on LIeIr IeeL. TIey were endungered Irom wILIIn, prone Lo reIux, Lo meIL, Lo
cIunge LIeIr cIurucLer. HIs vunILy Iud been IIuLLered by wIuL AdrIun Iud been uL puIns Lo
Impress upon IIm ubouL IIs personuI sIgnIIIcunce Ior LIe IIIe und IumunILy oI IIs greuL IrIend; Ie
Iud uccepLed LIe InLerpreLuLIon, so skIIIuIIy InsLIIIed, LIuL IIs presenL mIssIon urose ouL oI LIIs
sIgnIIIcunce. BuL jeuIousy worked uguInsL LIose IIrsL IeeIIngs. He resenLed LIe IucL LIuL AdrIun,
uILer LIe conquesL Ie Iud mude oI IIm, Iud cIunged IIs mInd; LIuL Ie, RudoII, now counLed Ior
noLIIng excepL us u LooI und InsLrumenL. ¡ beIIeve LIuL In IIs secreL IeurL Ie now IeIL Iree, In
oLIer words noL bound Lo repuy wILI good IuILI LIe oLIer's dIsIoyuILy und egoLIsm. TIIs Is IuIrIy
cIeur Lo me. And IL Is cIeur, Loo, LIuL Lo go wooIng Ior unoLIer mun Is un InLrIguIng enLerprIse,
purLIcuIurIy Ior u IunuLIcuI muIe coqueLLe, wIose moruIe musL Iuve been prone Lo reIux In LIe
unLIcIpuLIon oI u IIIrLuLIon even II onIy u vIcurIous one.
Does unyone doubL LIuL ¡ couId LeII wIuL Iuppened beLween RudoII und MurIe Godeuu, jusL us
¡ knew LIe wIoIe course oI LIe dIuIogue beLween IIm und AdrIun In PIeIIIerIng? Does unyone
doubL LIuL ¡ wus "LIere"? ¡ LIInk noL. BuL ¡ uIso LIInk LIuL u precIse uccounL Is no Ionger useIuI or
desIrubIe. ¡Ls Issue, Ieuvy wILI IuLe, Iowever deIIgILIuI IL Iooked uL IIrsL Lo oLIers II noL Lo me,
wus noL, we musL ussume, LIe IruIL oI onIy one InLervIew. A second wus necessury und InevILubIe
uILer LIe wuy In wIIcI MurIe dIsmIssed IIm LIe IIrsL LIme. ¡L wus TunLe ¡subeuu wIom RudoII
meL wIen Ie enLered LIe IILLIe vesLIbuIe oI LIe pensIon. He InquIred uILer Ier nIece und usked II
Ie mIgIL Iuve u Iew words oI prIvuLe conversuLIon wILI Ier, In LIe InLeresL oI u LIIrd purLy. TIe
oId Iudy dIrecLed IIm Lo LIe IIvIng- und workIng-room wILI u mIscIIevous smIIe wIIcI beLruyed
Ier dIsbeIIeI In LIe exIsLence oI LIe LIIrd purLy. He enLered und wus greeLed by MurIe wILI
surprIse und pIeusure; sIe wus ubouL Lo InIorm Ier uunL wIen Ie LoId Ier, Lo Ier IncreusIng II
obvIousIy noL unpIeusunL usLonIsImenL, LIuL Ier uunL knew Ie wus Iere und wouId come In uILer
Ie Iud spoken wILI IerseII on u weIgILy und wonderIuI LIeme. WIuL dId sIe repIy? SomeLIIng
jesLIng und commonpIuce, oI course. "¡ um cerLuInIy mosL curIous," or LIe IIke. And usked LIe
genLIemun Lo sIL down comIorLubIy Ior IIs recILuI.
He seuLed IImseII In un eusy-cIuIr besIde Ier druwIng-bourd. Nobody couId suy Ie broke IIs
word. He kepL IL, IonourubIy. He spoke Lo Ier oI AdrIun, oI IIs ImporLunce und greuLness, oI
wIIcI LIe pubIIc wouId onIy sIowIy become uwure; oj his, RudoII's udmIruLIon, IIs devoLIon Lo
LIe exLruordInury mun. He LuIked oI ZurIcI, und oI LIe meeLIng uL LIe ScIIugInIuuIens', oI LIe
duy In LIe mounLuIns. He reveuIed Lo Ier LIuL IIs IrIend Ioved Ier - buL Iow does one reveuI Lo u
womun LIuL unoLIer mun Ioves Ier? Do you bend over Ier, guze InLo Ier eyes, Luke In un
uppeuIIng grusp LIe Iund LIuL you proIess Lo Iope you muy Iuy In unoLIer's? ¡ do noL know. ¡ Iud
Iud Lo convey onIy un InvILuLIon Lo un excursIon, noL un oIIer oI murrIuge. AII ¡ know Is LIuL sIe
IusLIIy drew buck Ier Iund, eILIer Irom IIs or onIy Irom Ier Iup, wIere IL Iud been IyIng; LIuL u
bIusI overspreud LIe souLIern puIeness oI Ier Iuce und LIe IuugILer dIsuppeured Irom Ier eyes.
SIe dId noL undersLund, sIe wus reuIIy noL sure sIe undersLood. SIe InquIred II sIe Iud
undersLood urIgIL: wus RudoII proposIng Lo Ier Ior Dr. ¡everküIn? Yes, Ie suId, Ie wus;
ucLuuLed by IrIendsIIp und u sense oI duLy. AdrIun, In IIs scrupuIous deIIcucy, Iud usked IIm Lo
represenL IIm und Ie IeIL Ie couId noL reIuse. Her dIsLIncLIy cooI, dIsLIncLIy mockIng commenL,
LIuL IL wus cerLuInIy very kInd oI IIm, wus noL cuIcuIuLed Lo reIIeve IIs emburrussmenL. TIe ex-
LruordInury nuLure oI IIs sILuuLIon und roIe onIy now sLruck IIm, mIngIed wILI LIe LIougIL LIuL
someLIIng noL very compIImenLury Lo Ier wus InvoIved In IL. Her munner expressed sIeer
surprIse und umbruge - und LIuL boLI sLurLIed und secreLIy pIeused IIm. He sLruggIed Ior u
wIIIe, sLummerIng, Lo jusLIIy IImseII. SIe dId noL know, Ie suId, Iow Iurd IL wus Lo reIuse u mun
IIke LIuL. And Ie Iud IeIL Lo some exLenL responsIbIe Ior LIe Lurn AdrIun's IIIe Iud Luken, becuuse
IL Iud been Ie wIo Iud moved IIm Lo LIe SwIss journey und LIus brougIL ubouL LIe meeLIng
wILI MurIe. Yes, IL wus sLrunge: LIe vIoIIn concerLo wus dedIcuLed Lo IIm, buL In LIe end IL Iud
been LIe medIum oI LIe composer's meeLIng wILI Ier. He begged Ier Lo undersLund LIuL IIs
sense oI responsIbIIILy Iud IurgeIy conLrIbuLed Lo IIs reudIness Lo perIorm LIIs servIce Ior AdrIun.
Here LIere wus unoLIer quIck wILIdruwuI oI LIe Iund wIIcI Ie Iud LrIed Lo Luke us Ie pIeuded
wILI Ier. SIe unswered LIuL Ie need noL LroubIe IImseII IurLIer, IL wus noL ImporLunL LIuL sIe
sIouId undersLund LIe roIe Ie Iud ussumed, SIe regreLLed Lo be obIIged Lo sIuLLer IIs IrIendIy
Iopes, buL LIougI sIe wus oI course noL unImpressed by LIe personuIILy oI IIs prIncIpuI, LIe
reverence sIe IeIL Ior LIe greuL mun Iud noLIIng Lo do wILI uny IeeIIngs LIuL couId Iorm LIe busIs
oI u unIon Ior wIIcI Ie Iud urgued wILI so mucI eIoquence. TIe ucquuInLunce wILI Dr.
¡everküIn Iud been u source oI pIeusure und un Ionour us weII; buL unIorLunuLeIy LIe unswer
LIuL sIe musL now gIve wouId probubIy muke IurLIer meeLIngs Loo puInIuI. SIe sIncereIy
regreLLed beIng obIIged Lo Luke LIe vIew LIuL Dr. ¡everküIn's messenger und represenLuLIve wus
uIso necessurIIy uIIecLed by LIIs cIunge In LIe sILuuLIon. CerLuInIy uILer wIuL Iud Iuppened IL
wouId be beLLer und Iess emburrussIng II LIey dId noL meeL uguIn. And now sIe musL bId IIm u
IrIendIy IureweII: "AdIeu, monsIeur!"
He ImpIored Ier: "MurIe!" BuL sIe mereIy expressed Ier umuzemenL uL IIs use oI Ier IIrsL
nume und repeuLed Ier IureweII - LIe sound oI Ier voIce rIngs cIeurIy In my eurs: "AdIeu,
monsIeur!"
He wenL, IIs LuII beLween IIs Iegs - Lo uII uppeurunce, LIuL Is. ¡nwurdIy Ie wus bIIssIuI.
AdrIun's pIun oI murryIng Iud Lurned ouL Lo be LIe nonsensIcuI Ideu IL Iud been Irom LIe IIrsL,
und sIe Iud Luken IL very III Indeed LIuL Ie Iud been wIIIIng Lo espouse IL. SIe Iud been
encIunLIngIy ungry. He dId noL IusLen Lo IeL AdrIun know LIe resuIL oI IIs vIsIL, overjoyed us Ie
wus Lo Iuve suved IIs own Iuce by LIe IonesL udmIssIon LIuL Ie wus noL IImseII IndIIIerenL Lo
Ier. WIuL Ie dId now wus Lo sIL down und compose u IeLLer Lo MIIe Godeuu. He suId LIuL Ie
couId noL submIL Lo Ier "AdIeu, monsIeur"; Ior LIe suke oI IIs IIIe und reuson Ie musL see Ier
uguIn, und puL Lo Ier In person LIe quesLIon wIIcI Ie Iere wroLe down wILI IIs wIoIe IeurL und
souI: dId sIe noL undersLund LIuL u mun, ouL oI veneruLIon Ior unoLIer mun, couId sucrIIIce IIs
own IeeIIngs und ucL regurdIess oI LIem, mukIng IImseII u seIIIess udvocuLe oI LIe oLIer's desIre?
And couId sIe noL IurLIer undersLund LIuL LIe suppressed, LIe IoyuIIy conLroIIed IeeIIngs musL
bursL IorLI, IreeIy, exuILunLIy, so soon us LIe oLIer mun proved Lo Iuve no prospecLs oI success?
He begged Ier purdon Ior LIe Lreuson, wIIcI Ie Iud commILLed uguInsL nobody buL IImseII. He
couId noL regreL IL, buL Ie wus overjoyed LIuL LIere wus no Ionger uny dIsIoyuILy InvoIved II Ie
LoId Ier LIuL - Ie Ioved Ier.
¡n LIuL sLyIe. NoL uncIever. WInged by IIs genIus Ior IIIrLuLIon, und, us ¡ IuIIy beIIeve, uII
unconscIous LIuL In subsLILuLIng IIs own wooIng Ior AdrIun's, IIs decIuruLIon oI Iove remuIned
bound up wILI un oIIer oI murrIuge wIIcI oI IIs own moLIon, consIderIng IIs nuLure, wouId
never Iuve enLered IIs IIIrLuLIous Ieud. TunLe ¡subeuu reud LIe IeLLer uIoud Lo MurIe, wIo Iud
been unwIIIIng Lo uccepL IL. RudoII receIved no repIy. BuL Lwo duys IuLer Ie Iud IImseII
unnounced Lo TunLe by LIe IousemuId uL PensIon GIseIu und wus noL reIused enLrunce. MurIe
wus ouL. AILer IIs IIrsL vIsIL, us LIe oId Iudy wILI sIy reprooI beLruyed Lo IIm, sIe Iud wepL u Iew
Leurs on Ier TunLe's breusL. WIIcI In my vIew wus un InvenLIon oI TunLe's. SIe empIusIzed Ier
nIece's prIde. MurIe's wus u proud nuLure buL IuII oI deep IeeIIng, sIe suId. DeIInILe Iope oI
unoLIer meeLIng sIe couId noL gIve IIm. BuL sIe wouId suy LIIs mucI, LIuL sIe IerseII wouId
spure no puIns Lo represenL Lo Ier nIece LIe uprIgILness oI IIs conducL.
¡n unoLIer Lwo duys Ie wus LIere uguIn. Mme ¡erbIunLIer - LIIs wus TunLe's nume, sIe wus u
wIdow - wenL In Lo Ier nIece. SIe remuIned some LIme; uL IusL sIe cume ouL und wILI un encour-
ugIng LwInkIe usIered IIm In. OI course Ie Iud brougIL IIowers.
WIuL eIse Is LIere Lo suy? ¡ um Loo oId und sud Lo reIIsI descrIbIng u scene wIose deLuIIs cun be
oI momenL Lo no one. RudoII repeuLed IIs wooIng, onIy LIIs LIme noL Ior AdrIun buL IImseII. OI
course LIe IeuLIer-Ieuded youLI wus us suILed Lo LIe murrIed sLuLe us ¡ um Lo LIe roIe oI Don
Juun. BuL IL Is IdIe Lo specuIuLe on LIe cIunces Ior IuLure IuppIness oI u unIon doomed Lo no
IuLure uL uII, desLIned Lo be brougIL Lo nuugIL by u vIoIenL bIow Irom LIe Iund oI IuLe. MurIe Iud
dured Lo Iove LIe breuker oI IeurLs, LIe IIddIer wILI LIe "IILLIe Lone," wIose urLIsLIc gIILs und
cerLuIn success Iud been voucIed Ior Lo Ier by so weIgILy un uuLIorILy. SIe conIIded In IerseII Lo
IoId und bInd IIm, In Ier power Lo domesLIcuLe LIe wIId-IowI sIe Iud cuugIL. SIe guve IIm Ier
Iunds, receIved IIs kIss, und IL wus noL Iour-und-LwenLy Iours beIore LIe gIud news Iud gone LIe
rounds oI our cIrcIe LIuL RudI wus cuugIL, LIuL KonzerLmeIsLer ScIwerdLIeger und MurIe Godeuu
were un enguged puIr. We uIso Ieurd LIuL Ie wouId noL renew IIs conLrucL wILI LIe ZupIensLosser
orcIesLru buL murry In PurIs und LIere devoLe IIs servIces Lo u new musIcuI group jusL beIng
orgunIzed, cuIIed LIe OrcIesLre SympIonIque.
No doubL Ie wus very weIcome LIere, und jusL us cerLuInIy LIe urrungemenLs Lo reIeuse IIm
wenL Iorwurd sIowIy In MunIcI, wIere LIere wus reIucLunce Lo IeL IIm go. However, IIs presence
uL LIe nexL concerL - IL wus LIe IIrsL uILer LIuL one Lo wIIcI Ie Iud come buck uL LIe IusL mInuLe
Irom PIeIIIerIng - wus InLerpreLed us u sorL oI IureweII perIormunce. TIe conducLor, Dr. Ed-
scImIdL, Iud cIosen Ior LIe evenIng un especIuIIy Iouse-IIIIIng progrum, BerIIoz und Wugner,
und us LIey suy, uII MunIcI wus LIere. ¡umIIIur Iuces Iooked Irom LIe rows oI seuLs, und wIen ¡
sLood up ¡ Iud Lo bow repeuLedIy: LIere were LIe ScIIugInIuuIens und LIeIr socIuI cIrcIe, LIe
RudbrucIs wILI ScIIIdknupp, JeuneLLe ScIeurI, Mmes ZwILscIer und BInder-Mujurescu, und LIe
resL, uII oI wIom Iud cerLuInIy come wILI LIe LIougIL uppermosL In LIeIr mInds oI seeIng
BenedIcL LIe murrIed mun, In oLIer words RudI ScIwerdLIeger, up LIere, IeIL IronL, uL IIs musIc-
sLund. HIs beLroLIed wus noL presenL; we Ieurd LIuL sIe Iud reLurned Lo PurIs. ¡ bowed Lo ¡nez
¡nsLILorIs. SIe wus uIone, or ruLIer wILI LIe KnoLerIcIs und wILIouL Ier Iusbund, wIo wus
unmusIcuI und wouId be spendIng LIe evenIng uL LIe AIIoLrIu. SIe suL ruLIer Iur buck, In u Irock
so sImpIe us Lo Iook uImosL poverLy-sLrIcken; Ier Ieud LIrusL Iorwurd on ILs sIunLIng sLuIk, Ier
eyebrows ruIsed, LIe mouLI pursed In LIuL Iook oI noL quILe InnocenL mIscIIeI. As sIe reLurned
my greeLIng ¡ couId noL IeIp LIe IrrILuLIng ImpressIon LIuL sIe wus Iorever smIIIng In muIIcIous
LrIumpI over LIuL evenIng In Ier IIvIng-room und Ier expIoILuLIon oI my Iong-suIIerIng
sympuLIy.
As Ior ScIwerdLIeger, weII knowIng Iow muny curIous eyes Ie wouId meeL, Ie scurceIy durIng
LIe wIoIe evenIng Iooked down InLo LIe purLerre. AL LIe LImes wIen Ie mIgIL Iuve done so, Ie
IIsLened Lo IIs InsLrumenL or Lurned over LIe score.
TIe IusL number wus LIe overLure Lo LIe Meistersinçer, pIuyed wILI breudLI und eIun. TIe
crusIIng uppIuuse, Ioud enougI unyIow, rose sLIII IIgIer us ¡erdInund EdscImIdL moLIoned Lo
LIe orcIesLru Lo sLund up, und puL ouL IIs Iund gruLeIuIIy Lo IIs KonzerLmeIsLer. By LIen ¡ wus
uIreudy In LIe uIsIe, InLenL on my overcouL, wIIcI wus Iunded ouL beIore LIere wus u crowd
round LIe gurde-robe. ¡ InLended Lo wuIk Ior uL IeusL u purL oI my wuy Iome; LIuL Is, Lo my sLop In
ScIwubIng. BuL In IronL oI LIe buIIdIng ¡ meL u genLIemun oI LIe KrIdwIss group, LIe DIIrer
experL, ProIessor GIIgen HoIzscIuIer, wIo Iud uIso been uL LIe concerL. He InvoIved me In u
conversuLIon wIIcI begun wILI u crILIcIsm oI LIe evenIng's progrum: LIIs combInuLIon oI BerIIoz
und Wugner, oI IoreIgn vIrLuosILy und Germun musLery, wus LusLeIess, und uIso IL onIy III
conceuIed u poIILIcuI Lendency. AII Loo mucI IL Iooked IIke pucIIIsm und Germun-¡rencI
rupprocIemenL; LIIs EdscImIdL wus known Lo be u repubIIcun und nuLIonuIIy unreIIubIe. TIe
LIougIL Iud spoIIL IIs wIoIe evenIng. UnIorLunuLeIy, everyLIIng Loduy wus poIILIcs, LIere wus no
Ionger uny InLeIIecLuuI cIurILy. To resLore IL we musL ubove uII Iuve uL LIe Ieud oI our greuL or-
cIesLrus men oI unquesLIonubIy Germun vIews.
¡ dId noL LeII IIm LIuL IL wus Ie IImseII wIo wus mukIng poIILIcs oI everyLIIng, und LIuL LIe
word "Germun" Is Loduy by no meuns synonymous wILI InLeIIecLuuI cIurILy, beIng, us IL Is, u purLy
cry. ¡ onIy suggesLed LIuL u greuL deuI oI vIrLuosILy, IoreIgn or noL, wus uILer uII u componenL oI
Wugner's InLernuLIonuIIy so weII-LoIeruLed urL - und LIen cIurILubIy dIsLrucLed IIs mInd by
speukIng oI un urLIcIe on probIems oI proporLIon In GoLIIc urcIILecLure, wIIcI Ie Iud recenLIy
wrILLen Ior LIe perIodIcuI Art cnd Artists. TIe poIILenesses ¡ expressed ubouL IL rendered IIm
quILe Iuppy, pIIubIe und unpoIILIcuI; ¡ uLIIIzed LIIs beLLered mood Lo bId IIm good-bye und Lurn
rIgIL us Ie Lurned IeIL In IronL oI LIe IuII.
¡ wenL by wuy oI LIe upper TurkensLrusse, reucIed LIe ¡udwIgsLrusse, und wuIked uIong LIe
sIIenL MonumenLuI-CIuussce (uspIuILed now, yeurs ugo), on LIe IeIL sIde, In LIe dIrecLIon oI LIe
SIegesLor. TIe evenIng wus cIoudy und very mIId, und my overcouL begun Lo IeeI oppressIve, so ¡
sLopped uL LIe TIeresIensLrusse IuIL Lo pIck up u Lrum Lo ScIwubIng. ¡ don'L know wIy IL Look so
Iong Ior one Lo come, buL LIere ure uIwuys muny bIocks In LIe LruIIIc. AL IusL number Len
uppeured, quILe convenIenLIy Ior me; ¡ cun sLIII see und Ieur IL upproucIIng Irom LIe
¡eIdIerrnIuIIe. TIese MunIcI Lrums, puInLed In LIe BuvurIun IIgIL-bIue, ure IeuvIIy buIIL und
eILIer Ior LIuL reuson or some cIurucLerIsLIc oI LIe subsoII muke consIderubIe noIse. EIecLrIc
spurks IIusIed under LIe wIeeIs oI LIe veIIcIe und even more on Lop oI LIe conLucL wILI LIe poIe,
wIere LIey senL ouL IIssIng sIowers oI coId IIume.
TIe cur sLopped, ¡ goL on In IronL und wenL InsIde. CIose Lo LIe sIIdIng door wus un empLy seuL,
obvIousIy jusL vucuLed. TIe Lrum wus IuII, Lwo genLIemen sLood cIIngIng Lo sLrups uL LIe reur
door. MosL oI LIe pussengers were Iome-goers Irom LIe concerL. Among LIem, In LIe mIddIe oI
LIe opposILe bencI, suL ScIwerdLIeger, wILI IIs vIoIIn-cuse beLween IIs knees. Under IIs
overcouL Ie wore u wIILe cucIe-nez over IIs dress LIe, buL us usuuI wus bureIeuded. OI course Ie
Iud seen me come In, buL Ie uvoIded my eye. He Iooked young und cIurmIng, wILI IIs unruIy
wuvIng bIond Iocks, IIs coIour IeIgILened by IIs recenL IonourubIe exerLIons; by conLrusL LIe
bIue eyes seemed u IILLIe swoIIen. BuL even LIuL becume IIm, us dId LIe curIIng IIps LIuL couId
wIIsLIe In so musLerIy u IusIIon. ¡ um noL u quIck observer, onIy by degrees wus ¡ uwure oI oLIer
peopIe ¡ knew. ¡ excIunged u greeLIng wILI Dr. KrunIcI, wIo suL on ScIwerdLIeger's sIde oI LIe
Lrum, uL some dIsLunce Irom IIm, neur LIe reur door. BendIng Iorwurd by cIunce, ¡ wus uwure Lo
my surprIse oI ¡nez ¡nsLILorIs, on LIe sume bencI wILI myseII, severuI seuLs uwuy, Lowurds LIe
mIddIe oI LIe Lrum, dIugonuIIy opposILe Lo RudI ScIwerdLIeger. ¡ suy Lo my surprIse, Ior cerLuInIy
LIIs wus noL Ier wuy Iome. BuL u Iew seuLs IurLIer on ¡ suw Ier IrIend ¡ruu BInder-Mujurescu,
wIo IIved Iur ouL In ScIwu-bIng, beyond LIe "Grossen WIrL," so ¡ ussumed LIuL ¡nez wus goIng Lo
drInk Leu wILI Ier.
BuL now ¡ couId see wIy ScIwerdLIeger kepL IIs Ieud mosLIy Lurned Lo LIe rIgIL so LIuL ¡ suw
onIy IIs ruLIer Loo bIunL proIIIe. ¡ wus noL LIe onIy person Ie wunLed Lo Ignore: LIe mun wIom
Ie musL regurd us AdrIun's uILer ego. ¡ reproucIed IIm menLuIIy: wIy dId Ie Iuve Lo Luke jusL
LIIs purLIcuIur Lrum? ¡L wus probubIy un unjusL reproucI, Ior Ie Iud noL necessurIIy goL In uL LIe
sume LIme wILI ¡nez. SIe mIgIL Iuve goL In IuLer, us ¡ Iud, or II IL Iud been LIe oLIer wuy Ie
couId IurdIy Iuve rusIed ouL uguIn uL sIgIL oI Ier.
We were pussIng LIe unIversILy, und LIe conducLor, In IIs IeIL booLs, wus sLundIng In IronL oI
me Lo Luke my Len pIennIge und gIve me my LIckeL, wIen LIe IncredIbIe LIIng Iuppened - uL IIrsL,
IIke everyLIIng enLIreIy unexpecLed, quILe IncompreIensIbIe. TIere wus u bursL oI sIooLIng:
sIurp, ubrupL, sIuLLerIng deLonuLIons, one uILer LIe oLIer, LIree, Iour, IIve, wILI IurIous,
deuIenIng rupIdILy. Over LIere ScIwerdLIeger, IIs vIoIIn-cuse sLIII In IIs Iunds, sunk IIrsL uguInsL
LIe sIouIder und LIen InLo LIe Iup oI LIe Iudy nexL Lo IIm on IIs rIgIL, wIo Ior Ier purL, LIe one
on IIs IeIL us weII, Ieuned uwuy Irom IIm In Iorror, wIIIe u generuI commoLIon ensued In LIe
veIIcIe, more IIke IIIgIL und sIrIekIng punIc LIun uny ucLIvILy sIowIng presence oI mInd. OuL In
IronL LIe drIver, God knows wIy, kepL up u ceuseIess cIumour IIke mud on LIe beII, perIups Lo
summon LIe poIIce. OI course LIere were none wILIIn IeurIng. TIere wus un uImosL dungerous
surgIng Lo und Iro InsIde LIe Lrum, wIIcI Iud come Lo u sLop. Muny pussengers were pusIIng Lo
geL ouL, wIIIe oLIers, curIous or unxIous Lo do someLIIng, squeezed In Irom LIe pIuLIorms. TIe
Lwo genLIemen wIo Iud been sLundIng In LIe gungwuy Iud IIke me IIung LIemseIves on ¡nez - oI
course Iur Loo IuLe. We dId noL need Lo "wresL" LIe revoIver Irom Ier, sIe Iud IeL IL IuII, or ruLIer
cusL IL Irom Ier In LIe dIrecLIon oI Ier vIcLIm. Her Iuce wus wIILe us puper, wILI sIurpIy deIIned,
brIgIL-red spoLs on LIe cIeekbones. SIe Iud Ier eyes sIuL und un Insune smIIe wus on Ier
pursed-up mouLI.
TIey IeId Ier by LIe urms, und ¡ rusIed over Lo RudoII, wIo Iud been sLreLcIed ouL on LIe
now empLy bencI. On LIe oLIer sIde, bIeedIng, In u IuInLIng-IIL, Iuy LIe Iudy upon wIom Ie Iud
IuIIen. SIe Iud receIved u gIuncIng wound In LIe urm, wIIcI Lurned ouL noL Lo be serIous.
SeveruI peopIe were sLundIng by RudoII, umong LIem Dr. KrunIcI, IoIdIng IIs Iund.
"WIuL u IorrIbIe, senseIess, IrruLIonuI deed!" suId Ie, puIe In LIe Iuce, buL In IIs cIeur,
scIoIurIy, weII-urLIcuIuLed, sIorL-wInded wuy oI speukIng. He suId "Ior-r-r-IbIe," us ucLors oILen
pronounce IL. He udded LIuL Ie Iud never more regreLLed noL beIng u docLor InsLeud oI onIy u
numIsmuLIsL; und ucLuuIIy uL LIuL momenL LIe knowIedge oI coIns dId seem Lo me LIe mosL IuLIIe
oI LIe bruncIes oI scIence, more IuLIIe even LIun pIIIoIogy, u posILIon by no meuns eusy Lo
susLuIn. ¡n IucL LIere wus no docLor presenL, noL umong uII LIose concerL-goers, LIougI docLors
ure usuuIIy musIc-Iovers, so muny oI LIem beIng Jews. ¡ benL over RudoII. He guve sIgns oI IIIe,
buL wus IrIgILIuIIy Injured. TIere wus u bIeedIng wound under one eye. OLIer buIIeLs Iud, IL
Lurned ouL, gone InLo LIe LIrouL, LIe Iungs, und LIe coronury urLerIes. He IIILed IIs Ieud und LrIed
Lo suy someLIIng; buL bubbIes oI bIood weIIed ouL beLween IIs IIps, wIose genLIe IuIIness seemed
uII uL once so LoucIIng Lo me; IIs eyes roIIed und IIs Ieud IeII buck wILI u LIud on LIe bencI.
¡ cunnoL express LIe mournIuI pILy wIIcI uImosL overcume me. ¡ IeIL LIuL In u wuy ¡ Iud uIwuys
Ioved IIm und ¡ musL conIess LIuL my sympuLIy Ior IIm wus Iur sLronger LIun Ior Ier, LIe un-
Iuppy creuLure wIo by suIIerIng und by puIn-deudenIng, demoruIIzIng vIce Iud been worked up
Lo LIe revoILIng deed. ¡ mude myseII known us u cIose IrIend oI boLI purLIes und udvIsed LIuL LIe
wounded mun be currIed over InLo LIe unIversILy, wIere LIe junILor couId LeIepIone Ior LIe
poIIce und un umbuIunce, und wIere, Lo my knowIedge, LIere wus u smuII IIrsL-uId sLuLIon. ¡
urrunged LIuL LIey sIouId brIng LIe uuLIor oI LIe crIme LIILIer us weII.
AII LIIs wus done. A sLudIous, specLucIed young mun Iud wILI my IeIp IIILed poor RudoII Irom
LIe Lrum, beIInd wIIcI, by now, Lwo or LIree more Iud come Lo u sLop. OuL oI one oI LIese Iur-
rIed up u docLor wILI un InsLrumenL-cuse und dIrecLed, ruLIer superIIuousIy, LIe work oI curryIng
RudoII In. A reporLer cume Loo, uskIng quesLIons. TIe memory sLIII LorLures me oI LIe LroubIe we
Iud Lo rouse LIe junILor Irom IIs busemenL quurLers. TIe docLor, u youngIsI mun, wIo
InLroduced IImseII Lo everybody, LrIed Lo udmInIsLer IIrsL uId Lo LIe now unconscIous vIcLIm uILer
we Iud IuId IIm on u soIu. TIe umbuIunce cume wILI surprIsIng quIckness. RudoII dIed, us LIe
docLor uILer exumInuLIon IndIcuLed Lo me wus unIorLunuLeIy probubIe, on LIe wuy Lo LIe IospILuI.
As Ior me ¡ uLLucIed myseII Lo LIe IuLer urrIvIng poIIce und LIeIr now convuIsIveIy sobbIng
cIurge, Lo muke known Ier connecLIons und bespeuk Ier udmIssIon InLo LIe psycIIuLrIc cIInIc.
BuL LIIs, Ior LIe presenL nIgIL, wus noL permILLed.
¡L sLruck mIdnIgIL Irom LIe cIurcI wIen ¡ IeIL LIe oIIIce und, IookIng ubouL Ior un uuLo, seL ouL
Lo perIorm LIe puInIuI duLy LIuL sLIII remuIned Lo me. ¡ IeIL bound Lo go Lo PrInzregenLensLrusse,
Lo InIorm LIe IILLIe Iusbund, us genLIy us mIgIL be, oI wIuL Iud Iuppened. ¡ goL u cIunce oI u cur
jusL wIen IL wus no Ionger worLI wIIIe. ¡ Iound LIe Iouse-door burred, buL LIe IIgIL wenL on
wIen ¡ rung und ¡nsLILorIs IImseII cume down - Lo IInd me InsLeud oI IIs wIIe uL LIe door. He
Iud u wuy oI snuppIng IIs mouLI open Ior uIr und druwIng IIs Iower IIp ucross IIs LeeLI.
"OI, wIuL Is IL?" Ie suId. "¡L Is you? How Is sIe comIng? ... Hus someLIIng -?"
¡ suId uImosL noLIIng on LIe sLuIrs. Above In LIe IIvIng-room, wIere ¡ Iud Ieurd ¡nez's
dIsLressIng conIessIons, ¡ LoId IIm, uILer u Iew words oI prepuruLIon, wIuL Iud Iuppened und
wIuL ¡ Iud been wILness Lo. He Iud been sLundIng, und uILer ¡ Iud done Ie suL down suddenIy In
one oI LIe buskeL-cIuIrs. BuL uILer LIuL Ie dIspIuyed LIe seII-conLroI oI u mun wIo Ius IIved u
Iong LIme In un oppressIve und LIreuLenIng uLmospIere.
"So LIen," suId Ie, "IL cume IIke LIuL." And IL wus cIeur LIuL IIs dreud Iud concerned cIIeIIy LIe
munner In wIIcI LIe InevILubIe Lrugedy wouId be consummuLed.
"¡ wIII go Lo Ier," Ie decIured, und sLood up uguIn. "¡ Iope LIey wIII IeL me speuk Lo Ier LIere"
(Ie meunL In LIe poIIce ceIIs).
¡ couId noL gIve IIm mucI Iope Ior LonIgIL. BuL Ie suId In u sIuken voIce LIuL Ie LIougIL IL
wus IIs duLy Lo Lry; IIung on IIs couL und IusLened oII.
AIone In LIe room, wILI ¡nez's busL, dIsLInguIsIed und sInIsLer, IookIng down Irom ILs pedesLuI,
my LIougILs wenL LIILIer wIere IL wIII be beIIeved LIey Iud In LIe IusL Iour oILen und consLunLIy
gone. One more puInIuI unnouncemenL IL seemed Lo me Iud Lo be mude. BuL u sLrunge rIgIdILy
LIuL seIzed on my IImbs und even LIe muscIes oI my Iuce prevenLed me Irom IIILIng LIe receIver
und uskIng Lo be connecLed wILI PIeIIIerIng. No, LIuL Is noL quILe Lrue, ¡ dId IIIL IL, ¡ IeId IL
dungIIng In my Iund und Ieurd LIe muIIIed voIce, us Irom LIe depLIs oI LIe seu, oI LIe ¡ruuIeIn
uL LIe oLIer end. BuL u reuIIzuLIon born oI my uIreudy morbId exIuusLIon LIuL ¡ wus ubouL Lo
dIsLurb quILe useIessIy LIe nocLurnuI peuce oI LIe ScIweIgesLIII IouseIoId, LIuL IL wus noL
necessury Lo LeII AdrIun now, LIuL ¡ sIouId onIy In u wuy be mukIng myseII rIdIcuIous, cIecked
my InLenLIon und ¡ puL LIe receIver down.

CHAPTIR XLIII
My LuIe Is IusLenIng Lo ILs end - IIke uII eIse Loduy. EveryLIIng rusIes und presses on, LIe
worId sLunds In LIe sIgn oI LIe end - uL IeusL IL does Ior us Germuns. Our "LIousund-yeur"
IIsLory, reIuLed, reduced cd cbsurdum, weIgIed In LIe buIunce und Iound unbIesL, Lurns ouL Lo
be u roud IeudIng nowIere, or ruLIer InLo despuIr, un unexumpIed bunkrupLcy, u descensus
Aterno IIgILed by LIe dunce oI rourIng IIumes. ¡I IL be Lrue, us we suy In Germuny, LIuL every wuy
Lo LIe rIgIL gouI musL uIso be rIgIL In eucI oI ILs purLs, LIen IL wIII be ugreed LIuL LIe wuy LIuL Ied
Lo LIIs sInIuI Issue - ¡ use LIe word In ILs sLrIcLesL, mosL reIIgIous sense - wus everywIere wrong
und IuLuI, uL every sIngIe one oI ILs Lurns, Iowever bILLer IL muy be Ior Iove Lo consenL Lo sucI
IogIc. To recognIze becuuse we musL our InIumy Is noL LIe sume LIIng us Lo deny our Iove. ¡, u
sImpIe Germun mun und scIoIur, Iuve Ioved mucI LIuL Is Germun. My IIIe, InsIgnIIIcunL buL cu-
pubIe oI IuscInuLIon und devoLIon, Ius been dedIcuLed Lo my Iove Ior u greuL Germun mun und
urLIsL. ¡L wus uIwuys u Iove IuII oI Ieur und dreud, yeL eLernuIIy IuILIIuI Lo LIIs Germun wIose
InscruLubIe guIILIness und uwIuI end Iud no power Lo uIIecL my IeeIIng Ior IIm - sucI Iove IL muy
be us Is onIy u reIIecLIon oI LIe everIusLIng mercy.
AwuILIng LIe IInuI coIIupse, beyond wIIcI LIe mInd reIuses ILs oIIIce, ¡ Iuve wILIdruwn wILIIn
my ¡reIsIng IermILuge und sIun LIe sIgIL oI our IorrIbIy punIsIed MunIcI: LIe IuIIen sLuLues,
LIe gupIng eyeIoIes In LIe Iucudes, wIIcI boLI dIsguIse LIe yuwnIng voId beIInd LIem und
udverLIse IL by LIe growIng pIIes oI rubbIe on LIe puvemenLs. My IeurL conLrucLs In pILy Ior LIe
reckIess IoIIy oI my own sons, wIo, IIke LIe musses oI LIe peopIe, LrusLed, exuILed, sLruggIed, und
sucrIIIced und now Iong sInce ure reduced, wILI mIIIIons oI LIeIr IIke, Lo sLurIng uL LIe bILLer IruIL
oI dIsIIIusIon us IL meIIows InLo decuy und IInuI uLLer despuIr. To me, wIo couId noL beIIeve In
LIeIr beIIeI or sIure LIeIr Iopes, LIey wIII be brougIL no neurer by LIe presenL ugony oI LIeIr
souIs. TIey wIII sLIII Iuy IL Lo my cIurge - us LIougI LIIngs wouId Iuve Lurned ouL dIIIerenLIy Iud
¡ dreumed wILI LIem LIeIr Insune dreum. God IeIp LIem! ¡ um uIone wILI my oId HeIene, wIo
cures Ior my pIysIcuI purL, und Lo wIom someLImes ¡ reud uIoud Irom my puges sucI porLIons us
suIL Ier sImpIIcILy. ¡n LIe mIdsL oI ruIn uII my LIougILs ure uddressed Lo LIe compIeLIon oI LIIs
work.
TIe Apocclçpsis cum jiçuris, LIuL greuL und pIercIng propIecy oI LIe end, wus perIormed uL
¡runkIurL on LIe MuIn In ¡ebruury 1qz6, ubouL u yeur uILer LIe IrIgILIuI evenLs LIuL ¡ cIronIcIed
In my IusL cIupLer. ¡L muy Iuve been due In purL Lo LIe dIsIeurLenmenL LIey IeIL In LIeIr wuke
LIuL AdrIun couId noL brIng IImseII Lo breuk LIrougI IIs usuuI reLIremenL und be presenL uL LIe
perIormunce, u IIgIIy sensuLIonuI evenL, uIso one uccompunIed by mucI muIIcIous ubuse und
sIuIIow rIdIcuIe. He never Ieurd LIe work, one oI LIe Lwo cIIeI monumenLs oI IIs proud und
uusLere IIIe; buL uILer uII Ie used Lo suy ubouL "IeurIng" ¡ do noL IeeI enLILIed Lo IumenL LIe IucL.
BesIdes myseII, wIo Look cure Lo be Iree Ior LIe occusIon, Irom our cIrcIe oI ucquuInLunces LIere
wus presenL onIy our deur JeuneLLe ScIeurI, wIo despILe Ier nurrow meuns mude LIe journey Lo
¡runkIurL und reporLed on LIe perIormunce Lo Ier IrIend uL PIeIIIerIng, In Ier very IndIvIduuI
mIxed ¡rencI und BuvurIun dIuIecL. AdrIun especIuIIy prIzed LIIs peusunL-urIsLocruL, Ier
presence Iud u beneIIcIuI und sooLIIng eIIecL on IIm, IIke u sorL oI guurdIun spIrIL. AcLuuIIy ¡
Iuve seen IIm sILLIng Iund In Iund wILI Ier In u corner oI LIe AbboL's room, sIIenL und us IL were
In suIe-keepIng. TIIs Iund-In-Iund wus noL IIke IIm, IL wus u cIunge wIIcI ¡ suw wILI emoLIon,
even wILI pIeusure, buL yeL noL quILe wILIouL unxIeLy.
More LIun ever Loo, uL LIuL LIme, Ie IIked Lo Iuve RüdIger ScIIIdknupp wILI IIm. True, LIe
IIke-eyed one wus cIury us ever oI IIs presence, buL wIen our sIubby genLIemun dId uppeur Ie
wus reudy Ior one oI LIose Iong wuIks ucross counLry wIIcI AdrIun Ioved, especIuIIy wIen Ie wus
unubIe Lo work; Ior RüdIger seusoned IIs IdIeness wILI bILLer und groLesque Iumour. Poor us u
cIurcI-mouse, Ie Iud uL LIuL LIme mucI LroubIe wILI IIs negIecLed und decuyed LeeLI und LuIked
ubouL noLIIng buL dIsIonesL denLIsLs wIo preLended Lo LreuL IIm ouL oI IrIendsIIp buL LIen
suddenIy presenLed ImpossIbIe bIIIs. He ruIIed ubouL condILIons oI puymenL, wIIcI Ie Iud
negIecLed Lo observe, und LIen Iud been compeIIed Lo IInd unoLIer mun, weII knowIng LIuL Ie
never couId or wouId suLIsIy IIm - und more oI LIe sume. TIey Iud LorLured IIm by pressIng u
consIderubIe brIdge on rooLs wIIcI Iud been IeIL In und sIorLIy begun Lo Ioosen under LIe
weIgIL, so LIuL LIe grIsIy prospecL, LIe removuI oI LIe urLIIIcIuI sLrucLure, wus ImmInenL, und LIe
consequence wouId be more bIIIs wIIcI Ie couId noL puy. "¡L Is uII goIng Lo pIeces," Ie
unnounced In IoIIow Lones; buL Iud no objecLIon wIen AdrIun IuugIed LIII Ie crIed uL uII LIIs
mIsery. ¡ndeed IL seemed RüdIger couId Iook down on IL IImseII und benL doubIe wILI scIooIboy
IuugILer.
TIIs guIIows Iumour oI IIs mude IIs compuny jusL LIe rIgIL LIIng Ior our recIuse. ¡ um
unIorLunuLeIy wILIouL LuIenL In LIuL IIne, buL ¡ dId wIuL ¡ couId Lo encouruge LIe mosLIy
recuIcILrunL RüdIger Lo vIsIL PIeIIIerIng. AdrIun's IIIe durIng LIIs wIoIe yeur wus IdIe und voId. He
IeII vIcLIm Lo u deurLI oI Ideus, IIs menLuI sLugnuLIon LormenLed, depressed, und uIurmed IIm, us
IIs IeLLers sIowed; Indeed Ie puL Iorwurd IIs condILIon us LIe cIIeI ground Ior IIs reIusuI Lo go
Lo ¡runkIurL. ¡L wus ImpossIbIe Ior IIm Lo LIInk ubouL LIIngs Ie Iud uIreudy done wIIIe In u sLuLe
oI IncupucILy Lo do beLLer. TIe pusL wus onIy LoIerubIe II one IeIL ubove IL, InsLeud oI IuvIng Lo
sLure sLupIdIy uL IL uwure oI one's presenL ImpoLence. ¡uIIow und IoIIow, Ie cuIIed IIs sLuLe: u
dog's IIIe, u tie teçetcle, wILIouL pusL or IuLure, rooL or IruIL, un IdyII Loo IdIe Ior words. TIe one
suvIng gruce wus LIuL Ie couId ruII uL IL. AcLuuIIy Ie couId pruy Ior u wur, u revoIuLIon, uny
exLernuI convuIsIon jusL Lo sIock IIm ouL oI IIs Lorpor. OI composILIon Ie Iud IILeruIIy noL LIe
smuIIesL concepLIon, noL LIe IuInLesL memory oI Iow IL wus done; Ie conIIdenLIy beIIeved LIuL Ie
wouId never wrILe unoLIer noLe. "Muy IeII Iuve pILy on me!" "Pruy Ior my poor souI!" sucI
expressIons repeuLed LIemseIves In LIe IeLLers. TIey IIIIed me wILI gIoom, yeL on LIe oLIer Iund
couId even. ruIse my spIrILs, us ¡ reIIecLed LIuL uILer uII onIy LIe youLIIuI pIuymuLe und nobody
eIse In LIe worId couId be LIe recIpIenL oI sucI conIIdences.
¡n my repIIes ¡ LrIed Lo consoIe IIm by poInLIng ouL Iow Iurd IL Is Ior Iumun beIngs Lo LIInk
beyond LIeIr ImmedIuLe sILuuLIon. ¡L Is u muLLer oI IeeIIng und noL oI reuson: prone Lo consIder
LIe presenL LIeIr ubIdIng IoL, LIey ure IncupubIe, so Lo speuk, oI seeIng round LIe corner - und
LIuL probubIy uppIIes more Lo bud sILuuLIons LIun Lo good ones. AdrIun's Iow moruIe wus eusIIy
expIuInubIe by LIe crueI dIsuppoInLmenLs Ie Iud IuLeIy suIIered. And ¡ wus weuk und "poeLIcuI"
enougI Lo compure LIe IuIIow ground oI IIs mInd wILI LIe "wInLer-resLIng eurLI," In wIose
womb IIIe, prepurIng new sIooLs, worked secreLIy on. ¡ IeIL myseII LIuL LIe Imuge wus
InuppIIcubIe Lo LIe exLremes oI AdrIun's nuLure, IIs swIng beLween penILenLIuI puruIysIs und
compensuLIng creuLIve reIeuse. TIe sLugnuLIon oI IIs ImpuIse Lo creuLe wus uccompunIed LIougI
noL cuused by u new Iow-wuLer murk In IIs pIysIcuI sLuLe: severe uLLucks oI mIgruIne conIIned
IIm Lo durkness; cuLurrI oI LIe sLomucI, broncIIuI Lubes, und LIrouL uLLucked IIm by Lurns,
purLIcuIurIy durIng LIe wInLer oI 1qz6, und wouId oI ILseII Iuve been enougI Lo prevenL LIe LrIp
Lo ¡runkIurL. ¡L dId In IucL prevenL unoLIer journey wIIcI IumunIy speukIng wus sLIII more Im-
medIuLe und urgenL, buL cuLegorIcuIIy IorbIdden by IIs docLor.
AL LIe end oI LIe yeur, uL LIe sume uge, sevenLy-IIve yeurs und sLrunge Lo suy uImosL on LIe
sume duy, Mux ScIweIgesLIII und JonuLIun ¡everküIn depurLed LIIs IIIe: LIe IuLIer und
proprIeLor oI AdrIun's BuvurIun usyIum und Iome, und IIs own IuLIer up In BucIeI. TIe moLIer's
LeIegrum unnouncIng LIe peuceIuI pussIng oI JonuLIun ¡everküIn, LIe specuIuLor oI LIe
eIemenLs, Iound IIs son sLundIng uL LIe bIer oI LIuL equuIIy quIeL und LIougILIuI smoker wILI LIe
oLIer dIuIecL. "MuxI" Iud gruduuIIy Iunded over LIe busIness Lo Gereon, IIs IeIr, jusL us
JonuLIun Iud done Lo George; now Ie Iud sLepped usIde Ior ever. AdrIun mIgIL be cerLuIn LIuL
EIsbeLI ¡everküIn bore LIIs Ioss wILI LIe sume quIeL resIgnuLIon, LIe sume undersLundIng
uccepLunce oI LIe Iumun IoL, us MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII sIowed. A journey Lo Suxon TIurIngIu Lo
LIe burIuI wus ouL oI LIe quesLIon In AdrIun's presenL condILIon. BuL despILe Iever und weukness
Ie InsIsLed, uguInsL IIs docLor's udvIce, on LukIng purL LIe IoIIowIng Sunduy In LIe IuneruI oI IIs
oId IrIend, In LIe vIIIuge cIurcI uL PIeIIIerIng. ¡L wus uLLended by IosLs oI peopIe Irom LIe regIon
round ubouL. ¡ Loo puId IusL Ionours Lo LIe depurLed, wILI LIe IeeIIng LIuL ¡ wus doIng Ionour Lo
JonuLIun us weII. We wenL buck on IooL Lo LIe ScIweIgesLIII Iouse, oddIy und ruLIer IrruLIonuIIy
moved us we noLed LIuL LIe odour oI LIe oId mun's pIpe Lobucco, LIougI Ie IImseII wus gone,
sLIII Iung on LIe uIr oI IIvIng-room und pussuge jusL us IL uIwuys Iud.
"TIuL IusLs," AdrIun suId, "u Iong LIme, muybe us Iong us LIe Iouse. ¡n BucIeI Loo. TIe LIme we
IusL, u IILLIe sIorLer, u IILLIe Ionger, we cuII ImmorLuIILy."
TIuL wus uILer CIrIsLmus; LIe Lwo IuLIers, LIeIr Iuces uIreudy IuII-Lurned uwuy, IuII-esLrunged
Irom eurLIIy LIIngs, Iud sLIII been presenL uL LIe CIrIsLmus IeusL. Now, us LIe IIgIL wuxed, In LIe
begInnIng oI LIe new yeur, AdrIun's IeuILI murkedIy Improved, LIe successIon oI IurussIng
uLLucks cume Lo un end. He seemed psycIoIogIcuIIy Lo Iuve overcome LIe sIIpwreck oI IIs IIIe-
pIuns und uII LIe dumuge bound up wILI IL, IIs mInd rose up, u gIunL reIresIed - Indeed, IIs
LroubIe mIgIL now be Lo keep IIs poIse In LIe sLorm oI Ideus rusIIng upon IIm. TIIs (1qz;) wus
LIe yeur oI LIe IIgI und mIrucuIous IurvesL oI cIumber musIc: IIrsL LIe ensembIe Ior LIree
sLrIngs, LIree wood-wInd InsLrumenLs, und pIuno, u dIscursIve pIece, ¡ mIgIL suy, wILI very Iong
LIemes, In LIe cIurucLer oI un ImprovIsuLIon, worked ouL In muny wuys wILIouL ever recurrIng
undIsguIsed. How ¡ Iove LIe yeurnIng, LIe urgenL IongIng, wIIcI cIurucLerIzes IL; LIe romunLIc
noLe - sInce uILer uII IL Is LreuLed wILI LIe sLrIcLesL oI modern devIces - LIemuLIc, Indeed, buL
wILI sucI consIderubIe vurIuLIon LIuL ucLuuIIy LIere ure no "reprIses." TIe IIrsL movemenL Is
expressIy cuIIed "IunLusIu," LIe second Is un udugIo surgIng up In u powerIuI crescendo, LIe LIIrd
LIe IInuIe, wIIcI begIns IIgILIy enougI, uImosL pIuyIuIIy, becomes IncreusIngIy conLrupunLuI und
uL LIe sume LIme Lukes on more und more u cIurucLer oI LrugIc gruvILy, unLII IL ends In u sombre
epIIogue IIke u IuneruI murcI. TIe pIuno Is never used Ior IurmonIc IIIIIngs, ILs purL Is soIoIsLIc us
In u pIuno concerLo - probubIy u survIvuI Irom LIe vIoIIn concerLo. WIuL ¡ perIups mosL
proIoundIy udmIre Is LIe musLery wILI wIIcI LIe probIem oI sound-combInuLIon Is soIved.
NowIere do LIe wInd InsLrumenLs cover up LIe sLrIngs, buL uIwuys uIIow LIem Lo Iuve LIeIr own
suy und uILernuLe wILI LIem; onIy In u very Iew pIuces ure sLrIngs und wInd InsLrumenLs
combIned In u LuLLI. ¡I ¡ um Lo sum up LIe wIoIe ImpressIon: IL Is us LIougI one were Iured Irom
u IIrm und IumIIIur seLLIng-ouL InLo ever remoLer regIons - everyLIIng comes conLrury Lo
expecLuLIon. "¡ Iuve," AdrIun suId Lo me, "noL wunLed Lo wrILe u sonuLu buL u noveI."
TIIs Lendency Lo musIcuI prose comes Lo ILs IeIgIL In LIe sLrIng quurLeL, ¡everküIn's mosL
esoLerIc work, perIups, wIIcI IoIIowed on LIe IeeIs oI LIe ensembIe pIece. WIere, oLIerwIse,
cIumber musIc Iorms LIe pIuyground Ior LIemuLIc work, Iere IL Is uImosL provocuLIveIy uvoIded.
TIere ure uILogeLIer no LIemuLIc connecLIons, deveIopmenLs, vurIuLIons, und no repeLILIons;
unbroken, In un uppurenLIy enLIreIy Iree wuy, LIe new IoIIows, IeId LogeLIer by sImIIurILy oI Lone
or coIour, or, uImosL more, by conLrusL. OI LrudILIonuI Iorms noL u Lruce. ¡L Is us LIougI LIe
MusLer, In LIIs uppurenLIy unurcIIc pIece, wus LukIng u deep breuLI Ior LIe Icust cunLuLu, LIe
mosL coIerenL oI IIs works. ¡n LIe quurLeL Ie onIy IoIIowed IIs eur, LIe Inner IogIc oI LIe Ideu. AL
LIe sume LIme poIypIony predomInuLes In LIe exLreme, und every purL Is quILe IndependenL uL
every momenL. TIe wIoIe Is urLIcuIuLed by very cIeurIy conLrusLed LempI, uILIougI LIe purLs ure
Lo be pIuyed wILIouL InLerrupLIon. TIe IIrsL purL, InscrIbed modercte?, Is IIke u proIoundIy
reIIecLIve, LenseIy InLeIIecLuuI conversuLIon, IIke Iour InsLrumenLs LukIng counseI umong
LIemseIves, un excIunge serIous und quIeL In ILs course, uImosL wILIouL dynumIc vurIeLy. TIere
IoIIows u presLo purL us LIougI wIIspered In deIIrIum, pIuyed muLed by uII Iour InsLrumenLs,
LIen u sIow movemenL, kepL sIorLer, In wIIcI LIe vIoIu Ieuds LIrougIouL, uccompunIed by
InLerjecLIons Irom LIe oLIer InsLrumenLs, so LIuL one Is remInded oI u song-scene. ¡n LIe "Alleçro
con juoco" LIe poIypIony Is gIven Iree reIn In Iong IInes. ¡ know noLIIng more sLIrrIng LIun LIe
end, wIere IL Is us LIougI LIere were Longues oI IIume Irom uII Iour sIdes, u combInuLIon oI runs
und LrIIIs wIIcI gIves LIe ImpressIon oI u wIoIe orcIesLru. ReuIIy, by reseLLIng LIe wIdeIy spuced
cIords und usIng LIe besL regIsLers oI every InsLrumenL, u sonorILy Is ucIIeved wIIcI goes
beyond LIe usuuI boundurIes oI cIumber musIc; und ¡ do noL doubL LIuL LIe crILIcs wIII IoId IL
uguInsL LIe quurLeL uILogeLIer LIuL IL Is un orcIesLruI pIece In dIsguIse. TIey wIII be wrong. SLudy
oI LIe score sIows LIuL LIe mosL subLIe knowIedge oI LIe sLrIng-quurLeL medIum Is InvoIved.
¡ndeed, AdrIun Iud repeuLedIy expressed Lo me LIe vIew LIuL LIe oId dIsLIncLIons beLween
cIumber musIc und orcIesLruI musIc ure noL LenubIe, und LIuL sInce LIe emuncIpuLIon oI coIour
LIey merge InLo one unoLIer. TIe Lendency Lo LIe IybrId, Lo mIxIng und excIungIng, us IL sIowed
ILseII uIreudy In LIe LreuLmenL oI LIe vocuI und InsLrumenLuI eIemenLs In LIe Apocclçpse, wus
growIng on IIm. "¡ Iuve Ieurned In my pIIIosopIy courses, LIuL Lo seL IImILs uIreudy meuns Lo
Iuve pussed LIem. ¡ Iuve uIwuys sLuck Lo LIuL." WIuL Ie meunL wus LIe HegeI-KunL crILIque, und
LIe suyIng sIows Iow proIoundIy IIs creuLIve power sprung Irom LIe InLeIIecL - und Irom eurIy
ImpressIons.
TIIs Is enLIreIy Lrue oI LIe Trio Ior vIoIIn, vIoIu, und ceIIo: scurceIy pIuyubIe, In IucL Lo be
musLered LecInIcuIIy onIy by LIree vIrLuosos und usLonIsIIng us mucI by ILs IunuLIcuI empIusIs
on consLrucLIon, LIe InLeIIecLuuI ucIIevemenL IL exIIbILs, us by LIe unsuspecLed combInuLIons oI
sound, by wIIcI un eur coveLIng LIe unknown Ius won Irom LIe LIree InsLrumenLs u
combInuLIonuI IunLusy unpuruIIeIed. "¡mpossIbIe, buL reIresIIng," so AdrIun In u good mood
cIurucLerIzed LIe work, wIIcI Ie Iud begun Lo wrILe down even durIng LIe composILIon oI LIe
ensembIe pIece, currIed In IIs mInd und deveIoped, burdened us IL wus wILI LIe work on LIe
quurLeL, oI wIIcI one wouId Iuve LIougIL LIuL IL uIone musL Iuve consumed u mun's orgunIzIng
powers Ior Iong und Lo LIe uLmosL. ¡L wus un exuberunL InLerweuvIng oI InspIruLIons, cIuIIenges,
reuIIzuLIons; und resummonIngs Lo LIe musLery oI new Lusks, u LumuIL oI probIems wIIcI broke
In LogeLIer wILI LIeIr soIuLIons - "u nIgIL," AdrIun suId, "wIere IL doesn'L geL durk Ior LIe
IIgILnIngs."
"A ruLIer sIurp und spusmodIc sorL oI IIIumInuLIon," Ie wouId udd. "WIuL LIen - ¡ um
spusmodIc myseII, IL geLs me by LIe IuIr IIke LIe devII und goes uIong me so LIuL my wIoIe
curcuss quIvers. ¡deus, my IrIend, ure u bud IoL, LIey Iuve IoL cIeeks, LIey muke your own burn
Loo, In none Loo Iovesome u wuy. WIen one Ius u IumunIsL Ior u bosom IrIend, one ougIL Lo be
ubIe Lo muke u cIeur dIsLIncLIon beLween bIIss und murLyrdom... " He udded LIuL someLImes Ie
dId noL know wIeLIer LIe peuceIuI IncupucILy oI IIs Iormer sLuLe were noL preIerubIe In
compurIson wILI IIs presenL suIIerIngs.
¡ reproucIed IIm wILI IngruLILude. WILI umuzemenL, wILI Leurs oI joy In my eyes, yeL secreL
und IovIng concern, ¡ reud und Ieurd, Irom week Lo week, wIuL Ie puL on puper: In LIe neuLesL,
mosL precIse, yes, even eIegunL noLuLIon, beLruyIng noL u Lruce oI "spusms." TIIs wus wIuL, us Ie
IuncIIuIIy puL IL, IIs IumIIIur IrIend Mr. Akercocke LoId IIm Lo do und demunded oI IIm. ¡n one
breuLI, or ruLIer In one breuLIIessness, Ie wroLe down LIe LIree pIeces, uny one oI wIIcI wouId
Iuve been enougI Lo muke memorubIe LIe yeur oI ILs producLIon; ucLuuIIy Ie begun wILI LIe
druIL oI LIe LrIo on LIe very duy on wIIcI Ie IInIsIed LIe "IenLo" oI LIe quurLeL, wIIcI Ie
composed IusL. "¡L goes," Ie once wroLe Lo me, wIen ¡ Iud been unubIe Lo vIsIL IIm Ior Lwo
weeks, "us LIougI ¡ Iud sLudIed In Crucow." ¡ dId noL undersLund LIe uIIusIon unLII ¡ recuIIed LIuL
uL Crucow, In LIe sIxLeenLI cenLury, courses were pubIIcIy gIven In mugIc.
¡ cun ussure my reuders LIuL ¡ puId greuL uLLenLIon Lo IIs urcIuIc sLyIe und uIIusIons, wIIcI Ie
Iud uIwuys been gIven Lo buL now even more IrequenLIy, or sIouId ¡ suy "oILLImes," cume InLo IIs
IeLLers und even IIs speecI. TIe reuson wus soon Lo be mude cIeur. TIe IIrsL IInL cume wIen ¡
suw umong IIs pupers u noLe LIuL Ie Iud wrILLen wILI u broud pen-nIb: "TIIs sudnesse moved Dr.
¡uusLum LIuL Ie mude noLe oI IIs IumenLucyon."
He suw wIuL ¡ wus IookIng uL und Look uwuy LIe sIIp oI puper wILI "¡Ie on u genLIemun und
broLIer! WIuL concerns you noL, meddIe noL wILI!" WIuL Ie wus pIunnIng und LIougIL Lo curry
ouL, no mun uIdIng, Ie sLIII kepL Irom me. BuL Irom LIuL momenL on ¡ knew wIuL ¡ knew. ¡L Is
beyond uII doubL LIuL LIe yeur oI LIe cIumber musIc, 1qz;, wus uIso LIe yeur wIen LIe
Lcmentction oj Dr. Icustus wus conceIved. ¡ncredIbIe us IL sounds, wIIIe IIs mInd wus wresLIIng
wILI probIems so IIgIIy compIIcuLed LIuL one cun ImugIne LIeIr beIng musLered onIy by dInL oI
LIe sIeeresL, mosL excIusIve concenLruLIon, Ie wus uIreudy IookIng uIeud, reucIIng ouL, cusLIng
Iorwurd, wILI LIe second oruLorIo In vIew: LIe crusIIng Lcmentction. ¡rom IIs serIous
preoccupuLIon wILI LIuL work Ie wus uL IIrsL dIsLrucLed by unoLIer InLeresL, boLI prIceIess und
IeurL-pIercIng.

CHAPTIR XLIV
UrsuIu ScIneIdeweIn, AdrIun's sIsLer In ¡ungensuIzu, guve bIrLI Lo Ier IIrsL LIree cIIIdren, one
uILer LIe oLIer, In 1q11, 1q1z, und 1q1¸. AILer LIuL sIe Iud Iung LroubIe und spenL some monLIs In
u sunuLorIum In LIe Hurz MounLuIns. TIe LroubIe, u cuLurrI oI LIe upex oI LIe Iung, LIen seemed
Lo Iuve been cured, und LIrougIouL LIe Len yeurs LIuL pussed beIore LIe bIrLI oI Ier youngesL,
IILLIe Nepomuk, UrsuIu Iud been u cupubIe wIIe und moLIer Lo Ier IumIIy, uILIougI LIe yeurs oI
prIvuLIon durIng und uILer LIe wur Look LIe bIoom oII Ier IeuILI. SIe wus subjecL Lo coIds, be-
gInnIng In LIe Ieud und goIng Lo LIe broncIIuI cords; Ier Iooks, beIIed by Ier sweeL-Lempered
und ucLIve wuys, were II noL precIseIy uIIIng, yeL deIIcuLe und puIe.
TIe pregnuncy oI 1qz¸ seemed ruLIer Lo Increuse LIun Lo Iower Ier vILuIILy. True, sIe goL
round Irom IL ruLIer sIowIy, und LIe IeverIsI uIIecLIon wIIcI Len yeurs beIore Iud brougIL Ier Lo
LIe sunuLorIum IIIckered up uIresI. TIere Iud been some LuIk oI InLerrupLIng Ier IousewIIeIy
duLIes u second LIme Ior specIuI LreuLmenL. BuL LIe sympLoms dIed uwuy - under LIe InIIuence us
¡ sLrongIy suspecL oI psycIoIogIcuI weII-beIng, muLernuI IuppIness, und joy In Ier IILLIe son, wIo
wus LIe mosL pIucId, IrIendIy, uIIecLIonuLe, eusy-Lo-Lend buby In LIe worId. ¡or some yeurs LIe
bruve womun kepL sLurdy und sLrong; unLII Muy oI 1qz8, wIen LIe IIve-yeur-oId Nepomuk goL u
severe uLLuck oI meusIes, und LIe unxIous duy-und-nIgIL nursIng oI LIe excepLIonuIIy beIoved
cIIId becume u Ieuvy druIn upon LIe moLIer's sLrengLI. SIe IerseII Iud un uLLuck oI IIIness, uILer
wIIcI LIe cougI und LIe IIucLuuLIons oI LemperuLure dId noL subsIde; und now LIe docLor
InsIsLed on u sojourn uL u cure, wIIcI, wILIouL undue opLImIsm, Ie reckoned uL IuII u yeur.
TIIs wus wIuL brougIL Nepomuk ScIneIdeweIn Lo PIeIIIerIng. HIs sIsLer Rosu, sevenLeen yeurs
oId, und Ier broLIer EzekIeI, u yeur younger, were empIoyed In LIe sIop; wIIIe LIe IIILeen-yeur-
oId RuImund wus sLIII uL scIooI. Rosu Iud oI course LIe nuLuruI duLy oI keepIng Iouse Ior Ier
IuLIer In Ier moLIer's ubsence und wus IIkeIy Lo be Loo busy Lo Luke over LIe cure oI Ier IILLIe
broLIer. UrsuIu Iud LIougIL oI AdrIun. SIe wroLe LIuL LIe docLor wouId consIder IL u Iuppy
soIuLIon II LIe IILLIe convuIescenL couId spend some LIme In LIe counLry uIr oI Upper BuvurIu. SIe
usked Ier broLIer Lo sound IIs IundIudy, wIeLIer or noL ¡ruu EIse wouId be wIIIIng Lo pIuy LIe
purL oI moLIer or grundmoLIer Lo LIe IILLIe one Ior u LIme. EIse ScIweIgesLIII, und even more
enLIusIusLIcuIIy CIemenLIne, reudIIy consenLed; und In LIe mIddIe oI June oI LIuL yeur JoIunnes
ScIneIdeweIn Look IIs wIIe Lo LIe sume sunuLorIum, neur Suderode In LIe Hurz, wIere sIe Iud
been beneIILed beIore; wIIIe Rosu und Ier IILLIe broLIer LruveIIed souLI, brIngIng IIm Lo LIe
bosom oI Ier uncIe's second Iome.
¡ wus noL presenL wIen LIe broLIer und sIsLer urrIved In LIe courLyurd. AdrIun descrIbed LIe
scene Lo me: LIe wIoIe Iouse, moLIer, duugILer, Gereon, muIdservunLs und menservunLs, In
sIeer deIIgIL, IuugIIng Ior pure pIeusure, sLood ubouL LIe IILLIe mun und couId noL guze enougI
uL so mucI IoveIIness. EspecIuIIy LIe womenIoIk oI course were quILe besIde LIemseIves, und oI
LIe women In purLIcuIur LIe servunLs. TIey benL over LIe IILLIe one In u cIrcIe, convuIsed wILI
rupLure; squuLLed down besIde IIm und cuIIed on Jesus, Mury, und JosepI uL sIgIL oI LIe
beuuLIIuI IILLIe Iud. HIs sIsLer sLood IookIng on InduIgenLIy: cIeurIy sIe Iud expecLed noLIIng
dIIIerenL, beIng used Lo see everyone IuII In Iove wILI LIe youngesL oI LIe IumIIy.
Nepomuk - Nepo us IIs IumIIy cuIIed IIm, or "EcIo" us ever sInce Ie begun Lo pruLLIe Ie Iud
cuIIed IImseII, quuInLIy mIssIng ouL LIe IIrsL consonunL - wus dressed wILI wurm-weuLIer rusLIc
sImpIIcILy In u sIeeveIess wIILe coLLon sIIrL, IInen sIorLs, und worn IeuLIer sIoes on IIs
sLockIngIess IeeL. BuL IL uIwuys seemed us LIougI one were IookIng uL u IuIry prInceIIng. TIe
gruceIuI perIecLIon oI LIe smuII IIgure wILI LIe sIender, sIupeIy Iegs, LIe IndescrIbubIe
comeIIness oI LIe IILLIe Ieud, Iong In sIupe, covered wILI un InnocenL LumbIe oI IIgIL IuIr; LIe
IeuLures despILe LIeIr cIIIdIsIness wILI someLIIng IInIsIed und weII-modeIIed ubouL LIem; even
LIe upwurd gIunce oI LIe Iong-IusIed cIeur bIue eyes, IneIIubIy pure und sweeL, uL once IuII oI
depLI und spurkIIng wILI mIscIIeI - no, IL wus noL even uII LIese LogeLIer LIuL guve sucI un
ImpressIon oI IuerIe, oI u guesL Irom some IIner, LInIer spIere. ¡or LIere wus besIdes LIe sLunce
und beurIng oI LIe cIIId us Ie sLood LIe cenLre oI LIe cIrcIe oI "bIg peopIe" uII excIuImIng,
IuugIIng, even sIgIIng wILI emoLIon. TIere wus IIs smIIe, oI course noL quILe Iree Irom coqueLry
und conscIousness oI LIe cIurm Ie wIeIded; IIs words und gesLures, sweeLIy InsLrucLIve, benIgnIy
condescendIng, us LIougI Ie were u IrIendIy umbussudor Irom LIuL oLIer, beLLer cIIme. TIere
wus LIe sIIvery smuII voIce und wIuL IL uLLered, sLIII wILI buby bIunders, In LIe IuLIer's sIIgILIy
druwIIng, weIgILy SwIss speecI, wIIcI LIe moLIer Iud eurIy Luken over. TIe IILLIe mun rounded
IIs r's on IIs Longue; Ie puused beLween syIIubIes; Ie uccompunIed IIs words, In u wuy ¡ Iuve
never seen beIore In u cIIId, wILI vugue buL expressIve expIunuLory gesLures oI urms und Iunds,
oILen quILe unconnecLed wILI wIuL Ie suId, und ruLIer puzzIIng wIIIe uL LIe sume LIme wIoIIy
deIIcIous.
So mucI Ior LIe momenL us u descrIpLIon oI Nepo ScIneIdeweIn, or EcIo us everybody,
IoIIowIng IIs exumpIe, sLruIgILwuy cuIIed IIm. ¡L Is wrILLen by one noL presenL wIen Ie cume,
und onIy us cIumsy words cun upproxImuLe LIe scene. How muny wrILers beIore me Iuve
bemouned LIe Inudequucy oI Iunguuge Lo urrIve uL vIsuuIIzuLIon or Lo produce un exucL porLruIL oI
un IndIvIduuI! TIe word Is mude Ior pruIse und Iomuge; Lo LIe word IL Is gIven Lo usLonIsI, Lo
udmIre, und Lo bIess; IL muy cIurucLerIze u pIenomenon LIrougI LIe emoLIon IL urouses; buL IL
cunnoL conjure up or reproduce. ¡nsLeud oI uLLempLIng LIe ImpossIbIe ¡ sIuII probubIy do more
Ior my udorubIe IILLIe subjecL by conIessIng LIuL Loduy, uILer IuIIy sevenLeen yeurs, Leurs come In
my eyes wIen ¡ LIInk oI IIm, wIIIe uL LIe sume LIme LIe LIougIL oI IIm IIIIs me wILI un odd,
eLIereuI, noL quILe subIunury IIILIng oI LIe IeurL.
TIe repIIes Ie mude, wILI LIuL bewILcIIng pIuy oI gesLure, Lo quesLIons ubouL IIs moLIer, IIs
journey, IIs sLuy In LIe greuL cILy oI MunIcI, Iud us ¡ suId u pronounced SwIss uccenL und mucI
dIuIecL, rendered In LIe sIIvery LImbre oI IIs voIce: "huesli" Ior Iouse, "c bitzli" Ior u IILLIe bIL. He
IIILed Lo suy "weII": "WeII, IL wus IoveIy." ¡rugmenLs oI grown-up Iunguuge cume Loo: II Ie Iud noL
remembered someLIIng, Ie suId IL Iud "sIIpped IIs mInd." And IInuIIy Ie suId: "WeII, noLIIng
more oI news" - obvIousIy becuuse Ie wunLed Lo breuk up LIe group; Ior LIe words IeII Irom IIs
Ioney-sweeL IIps: "EcIo LIInks besL Lo noL be ouLdoors uny more. BeLLer go In LIe IuesII und see
LIe uncIe." And Ie puL ouL IIs Iund Lo IIs sIsLer Lo Luke IIm In. BuL jusL LIen AdrIun, wIo Iud
been resLIng und puLLIng IImseII Lo rIgILs, cume ouL Lo weIcome IIs nIece.
"And so LIIs," suId Ie, uILer Ie Iud greeLed LIe young gIrI und excIuImed over Ier IIkeness Lo
Ier moLIer, "Is LIe new member oI LIe IumIIy?"
He IeId Nepomuk's Iund, guzed InLo LIe sLurry eyes, und soon wus IosL In LIe sweeL depLIs oI
LIuL uzure upLurned smIIe.
"WeII, weII!" wus uII Ie suId, noddIng sIowIy uL LIe gIrI und LIen LurnIng buck Lo guze uguIn.
HIs emoLIon couId escupe nobody, cerLuInIy noL LIe cIIId. So wIen EcIo uddressed IIs uncIe Ior
LIe IIrsL LIme, IIs words, InsLeud oI soundIng Iorwurd, seemed Lo be pIucuLIng und mukIng IIgIL
oI someLIIng, IoyuIIy reducIng IL Lo sImpIe und IrIendIy Lerms: "WeII, you ure gIud ¡ dId come,
yes?" Everyone IuugIed, AdrIun Loo.
"¡ sIouId suy so," Ie unswered. "And ¡ Iope you ure gIud Loo, Lo muke our ucquuInLunce."
"¡L Is mosL pIeusunL meeLIng uII," LIe cIIId suId quuInLIy.
TIe oLIers wouId Iuve bursL ouL IuugIIng uguIn, buL AdrIun sIook IIs Ieud uL LIem wILI IIs
IInger on IIs IIps.
"TIe cIIId," Ie suId soILIy, "musL noL be bewIIdered by our IuugILer. And LIere Is no ground Ior
IuugILer, do you LIInk, MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII?" LurnIng Lo Ier.
"NoL u speck," suId sIe In un exuggeruLedIy IIrm voIce, und puL LIe corner oI Ier upron Lo Ier
eye.
"So IeL us go In," Ie decIded, und Look Nepomuk's Iund uguIn Lo Ieud IIm. "OI course you Iuve
u IILLIe reIresImenL Ior our guesLs."
AccordIngIy, In LIe NIke suIon, Rosu ScIneIdeweIn wus served wILI coIIee und LIe IILLIe one
wILI mIIk und cuke. HIs uncIe suL wILI IIm uL LIe LubIe und wuLcIed IIm us Ie uLe, duInLIIy.
AdrIun LuIked wILI IIs nIece LIe wIIIe, buL dId noL Ieur mucI LIuL sIe suId, so Luken up Ie wus
wILI IookIng uL LIe eII und jusL us mucI wILI conLroIIIng IIs IeeIIngs, noL Lo beLruy LIem und
muke LIem u burden. HIs concern wus unnecessury, Ior EcIo seemed no Ionger Lo murk mere
sIIenL udmIruLIon or enrupLured Iooks; wIIIe IL wouId Iuve been u sIn Lo mIss LIuL sweeL IIILIng oI
LIe eyes In LIunks Ior IundIng LIe jum or u pIece oI cuke.
AL IengLI LIe IILLIe mun uLLered LIe sIngIe word: " 'NuII." ¡L wus, IIs sIsLer expIuIned, wIuL Ie
Iud uIwuys suId Irom u LIny cIIId, wIen Ie Iud done; IL meunL "EcIo Ius Iud enougI." WIen
MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII wouId Iuve pressed IIm Lo Luke someLIIng more, Ie suId wILI u cerLuIn
superIor reusonubIeness:
"EcIo wouId be besL wILIouL IL."
He rubbed IIs eyes wILI IIs IILLIe IIsLs, u sIgn LIuL Ie wus sIeepy. TIey puL IIm Lo bed, und
wIIIe Ie sIepL AdrIun LuIked wILI SIsLer Rosu In IIs workroom. SIe wus Lo sLuy onIy LIII LIe LIIrd
duy, Ier duLIes In ¡ungensuIzu summoned Ier Iome. WIen sIe IeIL, Nepomuk wepL u IILLIe, buL
LIen promIsed Lo be "good" unLII sIe cume Lo IeLcI IIm. My God, Iow Ie kepL IIs word! How
IncupubIe Ie wus oI noL keepIng IL! He brougIL someLIIng IIke u sLuLe oI bIIss, u consLunL IeurL-
wurmIng guIeLy und Lenderness noL onIy Lo LIe Iurm buL Lo LIe vIIIuge us weII, und even us Iur us
WuIdsIuL. ¡or LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs, moLIer und duugILer, euger Lo be seen wILI IIm, conIIdenL oI
LIe sume rupLurous recepLIon everywIere, Look IIm wILI LIem Lo LIe upoLIecury, LIe sIoemuker,
LIe generuI sLore, In order LIuL everybody mIgIL Ieur IIm "speuk IIs pIece," wILI bewILcIIng pIuy
oI gesLure und ImpressIve, deIIberuLe enuncIuLIon: ubouL PuuIIne wIo wus bur-r-nL up, ouL oI
SIovenIy PeLer, or JocIen, wIo dId come Iome Irom pIuy so dIr-rLy LIuL Mrs. Duck und Mr.
Druke were umuzed und even Mr. PIg wus per-rIecLIy duzed. TIe PIeIIIerIng pusLor Ieurd IIm
recILe IIs pruyer, wILI IoIded Iunds IeId ouL beIore IIs Iuce - u sLrunge oId pruyer IL wus,
begInnIng "NuugIL uvuIIeLI Ior LImeIy DeuLI." And LIe pusLor, In IIs emoLIon, couId onIy suy:
"AI, LIou deur cIIId oI God, LIou IILLIe bIessed one!" sLrokIng IIs IuIr wILI u wIILe prIesLIy Iund
und presenLIng IIm wILI u coIoured pIcLure oI LIe ¡umb oI God. TIe scIooImusLer IeIL "u new
mun" uILer LuIkIng wILI IIm. AL murkeL und In LIe sLreeL every LIIrd person usked ¡ruuI'n
CIemenLIne or MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII wIuL wus LIIs Iud dropped down Irom Ieuven. PeopIe
sLured und nudged eucI oLIer: "JusL Iook, jusL Iook!" or eIse, noL very dIIIerenLIy Irom LIe pusLor:
"AI, deur IILLIe one, IILLIe bIessed one!" Women, In mosL cuses, sIowed u Lendency Lo kneeI down
In IronL oI Nepomuk.
WIen ¡ wus nexL uL LIe Iurm, Lwo weeks Iud uIreudy pussed sInce Ie cume; Ie Iud seLLIed In
und wus weII known Lo LIe neIgIbourIood. ¡ suw IIm IIrsL uL u dIsLunce: AdrIun sIowed IIm Lo
me round LIe corner oI LIe Iouse, sILLIng on LIe ground In LIe kILcIen gurden uL LIe buck,
beLween u sLruwberry und u vegeLubIe bed, one IILLIe Ieg sLreLcIed ouL, LIe oLIer IuII druwn up,
IIs IuIr IuIIIng In sLrunds on IIs IoreIeud. He wus IookIng, IL seemed wILI somewIuL deLucIed
upprovuI, uL u pIcLure-book IIs uncIe Iud gIven IIm, IoIdIng IL on IIs knee, wILI LIe rIgIL Iund uL
LIe murgIn. BuL LIe IILLIe IeIL Iund und urm, wILI wIIcI Ie Lurned LIe puge, unconscIousIy
conLInuIng LIe LurnIng moLIon remuIned In LIe uIr In un IncredIbIy gruceIuI posLure besIde LIe
book, LIe smuII Iund open. To me IL seemed ¡ Iud never seen u cIIId so ruvIsIIngIy posed. ¡
couId noL even In Iuncy conceIve my own uIIordIng sucI u sIgIL; Lo myseII ¡ LIougIL LIuL LIus
musL LIe IILLIe ungeIs up ubove Lurn LIe puges oI LIeIr IeuvenIy cIoIr-books.
We wenL up Lo IIm, LIuL ¡ mIgIL muke LIe ucquuInLunce oI LIe wonder-cIIId. ¡ dId so wILI
pedugogIc resLruInL, wILI u vIew Lo reducIng LIe sILuuLIon Lo LIe everyduy, und deLermIned noL Lo
be senLImenLuI. ¡ puL on u sLrIcL Iuce, Irowned, pILcIed my voIce Iow, und spoke Lo IIm In LIe
proper brIsk und puLronIzIng wuy: "WeII, my son? BeIng u good Iud, eI? And wIuL ure we up Lo
Iere?" BuL even us ¡ spoke ¡ seemed Lo myseII unspeukubIy IuLuous; und even worse, Ie suw IL
Loo, uppurenLIy sIured my vIew, und IeIL usIumed on my uccounL. He Iung IIs Ieud, druwIng
down IIs mouLI us one does Lo keep Irom IuugIIng; IL so upseL me LIuL ¡ suId noLIIng more Ior
some LIme. He wus noL yeL oI un uge wIen u Iud Is expecLed Lo sLund up und be respecLIuI Lo IIs
eIders; Ie deserved, II uny creuLure ever dId, LIe Lender consIderuLIon und InduIgence we grunL Lo
LIose noL Iong on LIIs eurLI, unprucLIsed und sLrunge Lo ILs wuys. He suId we sIouId "sILLy down"
und so we dId, wILI LIe munIkIn beLween us In LIe gruss, und Iooked uL IIs pIcLure-book wILI
IIm. ¡L wus probubIy umong LIe mosL uccepLubIe oI LIe cIIIdren's books In LIe sIop, wILI
pIcLures In EngIIsI LusLe, u sorL oI KuLe Greenuwuy sLyIe und noL uL uII bud rIymes. Nepomuk (¡
cuIIed IIm LIuL, noL EcIo; LIe IuLLer ¡ wus IdIoL enougI Lo IInd "senLImenLuI") knew uImosL uII oI
LIem by IeurL, und "reud" LIem Lo us, IoIIowIng LIe IInes wILI IIs IInger, oI course uIwuys In LIe
wrong pIuce.
TIe sLrunge LIIng Is LIuL Loduy ¡ know LIose verses by IeurL myseII, onIy becuuse ¡ Ieurd LIem
once - or IL muy Iuve been more LIun once - recILed In LIuL IILLIe voIce oI IIs, wILI ILs en-
cIunLIng InLonuLIon. How weII ¡ sLIII know LIe one ubouL LIe orgun-grInders wIo meL uL u sLreeL
corner, one oI wIom Iud u grudge uguInsL LIe oLIer so LIuL neILIer wouId budge Irom LIe spoL. ¡
couId recILe Lo uny cIIId - LIougI noL neurIy so weII us EcIo dId - wIuL LIe neIgIbours Iud Lo
beur Irom LIe IuIIubuIoo LIose Iurdy-gurdIes kepL up. TIe mIce dId keep u. IusLIng IeusL, LIe ruLs
LIey run uwuy. ¡L ends:
And onIy one, u puppy-dog,
¡IsLened LIII sIIence IeII;
And wIen Ie goL buck Lo IIs Iome
TIuL dog IeIL Iur Irom weII.
You wouId Iuve Lo see LIe IILLIe Iud's LroubIed Ieud-sIuke und Ieur IIs voIce IuII us Ie
recounLed LIe IndIsposILIon oI LIe IILLIe dog. You wouId Iuve Lo see LIe mInuscuIe grundezzu oI
IIs beurIng us Ie ImILuLed LIe Lwo quuInL IILLIe genLIemen meeLIng eucI oLIer on LIe beucI:
Good mornIng, m'sIeur! No buLIIng, ¡ Ieur!
TIIs Ior severuI reusons: IIrsL becuuse LIe wuLer Is so weL und onIy IorLy-LIree degrees, buL uIso
"LIree guesLs Irom Sweden" ure LIere:
A swordIIsI, u suwIIsI und sIurk SwImmIng cIose In you cun murk.
He uLLered so droIIy LIIs conIIdenLIuI wurnIng, Iud sucI u Iurge-eyed wuy oI enumeruLIng LIe
LIree undesIrubIe guesLs, und IeII InLo u key so mIngIed oI Iorror und suLIsIucLIon uL LIe news
LIuL LIey were swImmIng cIose In, LIuL we boLI bursL ouL IuugIIng. He Iooked InLo our Iuces,
observIng our merrImenL wILI roguIsI curIosILy, mIne In purLIcuIur, ¡ LIougIL - probubIy Ie
wunLed Lo see wIeLIer my uncuIIed-Ior scIooImusLer soIemnILy wus beIng LIuwed ouL.
Good Ieuvens, IL cerLuInIy wus! AILer my IIrsL IooIIsI uLLempLs ¡ dId noL reLurn Lo IL, excepL LIuL
¡ uIwuys uddressed LIIs IILLIe umbussudor Irom cIIIdIood und IuIryIund us Nepomuk, speukIng In
u IIrm voIce und onIy cuIIIng IIm EcIo wIen ¡ menLIoned IIm Lo IIs uncIe, wIo IIke LIe women
Iud Luken up LIe nume. TIe reuder wIII undersLund LIuL LIe pedugogue In me IeIL somewIuL
dIsLurbed or even emburrussed uL LIIs InconLesLubIy udorubIe IoveIIness, wIIcI yeL wus u prey Lo
LIme, desLIned Lo muLure und purLuke oI LIe eurLIIy IoL. ¡n no Iong spuce LIe smIIIng uzure oI
LIese eyes wouId Iose LIeIr oLIer-worId purILy. TIIs Iuce, LIIs ungeIIc uIr, us IL were un expIIcIL
uuru oI cIIIdIIkeness; LIe IIgILIy cIeIL cIIn, LIe cIurmIng mouLI, wIIcI wIen Ie smIIed sIowed
LIe gIeumIng mIIk LeeLI; LIe IIps LIuL LIen becume somewIuL IuIIer LIun In repose, und uL LIeIr
corners sIowed Lwo soILIy curvIng IInes comIng Irom LIe IIne IILLIe nose und seLLIng oII IIs mouLI
und cIIn Irom IIs cIeeks: LIIs Iuce, ¡ suy, wouId become LIe Iuce oI u more or Iess ordInury boy,
wIom one wouId Iuve Lo LreuL prucLIcuIIy und prosuIcuIIy und wIo wouId Iuve no reuson Lo greeL
u pedugogIc upproucI wILI uny oI LIe IronIc undersLundIng beLruyed by Nepomuk. And yeL LIere
wus someLIIng Iere - LIuL eIIIn mockery seemed Lo express u conscIousness oI IL - wIIcI puL IL
ouL oI one's power Lo beIIeve In LIme und LIme's common work, or ILs ucLIon upon LIIs pure und
precIous beIng. SucI wus LIe ImpressIon IL guve oI ILs exLruordInury compIeLeness In ILseII; LIe
convIcLIon IL InspIred LIuL LIIs wus u munIIesLuLIon oI "LIe cIIId" on eurLI; LIe IeeIIng LIuL IL Iud
"come down Lo us" us, ¡ suy IL uguIn, un envoy und messuge-beurer; uII LIIs IuIIed LIe reuson In
dreums beyond LIe cIuIms oI IogIc und LInged wILI LIe Iues oI our CIrIsLIun LIeoIogy. ¡L couId
noL deny InevILubIe growLI; buL IL Look reIuge In LIe spIere oI LIe myLIIcuI und LImeIess, LIe
sImuILuneous und ubIdIng, wIereIn LIe SuvIour's Iorm us u grown mun Is no conLrudIcLIon Lo LIe
Bube In LIe MoLIer's urms wIIcI He uIso Is; wIIcI He uIwuys Is, uIwuys beIore HIs worsIIppIng
suInLs IIILIng HIs IILLIe Iund In LIe sIgn oI LIe Cross.
WIuL exLruvugunce, wIuL IunuLIcIsm, IL wIII be suId! BuL ¡ cun do no more LIun gIve uccounL oI
my own experIence, und ¡ musL conIess LIuL LIe sIIgILIy oLIer-worIdIy exIsLence oI LIIs cIIId uI-
wuys produced In me u sense oI my own cIumsIness. BuL ¡ sIouId Iuve puLLerned myseII - und
LrIed Lo do so - on AdrIun, wIo wus no scIooImun buL un urLIsL und Look LIIngs us LIey cume,
uppurenLIy wILIouL LIougIL oI LIeIr proneness Lo cIunge. ¡n oLIer words, Ie guve Lo
ImpermunenL becomIng LIe cIurucLer oI beIng; Ie beIIeved In LIe Imuge: u LrunquIIIIzIng beIIeI,
so uL IeusL IL seemed Lo me, wIIcI, udjusLed Lo LIe Imuge, wouId noL IeL ILs composure be
dIsLurbed no muLLer Iow uneurLIIy LIuL Imuge mIgIL be. EcIo, LIe IuIry prInceIIng, Iud come;
very weII, one musL LreuL IIm uccordIng Lo IIs kInd, und LIuL wus uII. SucI seemed Lo be AdrIun's
posILIon. OI course Ie wus Iur removed Irom LIe IrownIng brow or uny uvuncuIur "TIuL's u good
Iud." BuL on LIe oLIer Iund, Ie IeIL LIe "IILLIe ungeI" ecsLusIes Lo sImpIer IoIk. He beIuved Lo LIe
IILLIe one wILI u deIIcucy und wurmLI, smIIIng or serIous us occusIon cuIIed IL ouL; wILIouL IIuLLery
or IuwnIng, even wILIouL Lenderness. ¡L Is u IucL LIuL ¡ never suw IIm curess LIe cIIId, scurceIy
even smooLI IIs IuIr. OnIy Ie IIked Lo wuIk wILI IIm In LIe IIeIds, Iund In Iund.
BuL Iowever Ie beIuved, Ie couId noL deceIve me: ¡ suw LIuL IIs IILLIe nepIew's uppeurunce
Iud mude u brIgIL spoL In IIs IIIe, LIuL Ie Ioved IIm Irom LIe IIrsL duy on. No mIsLukIng LIe IucL
LIuL LIe sweeL, IIgIL, eIIIn cIurm, workIng us IL were wILIouL u Lruce despILe LIe cIIId's serIous,
oId-IusIIoned Iunguuge, occupIed und IIIIed IIs duys, uILIougI Ie Iud LIe boy wILI IIm onIy uL
cerLuIn LImes. TIe cIIId's cure oI course IeII on LIe women; und us moLIer und duugILer Iud
mucI eIse Lo do, Ie oILen pIuyed by IImseII In some suIe spoL. OwIng Lo LIe meusIes Ie sLIII
needed us mucI sIeep us quILe smuII cIIIdren do, und sIepL durIng LIe duy In uddILIon Lo LIe
usuuI uILernoon nup, droppIng oII wIerever Ie Iuppened Lo be. "NIgIL!" Ie wouId suy, jusL us
wIen Ie wenL Lo bed. ¡L IucL "NIgIL!" wus IIs good-bye on uII occusIons, wIen Ie or unyone eIse
wenL uwuy. ¡L wus LIe compunIon-pIece Lo LIe " 'NuII" Ie uIwuys suId wIen Ie Iud Iud enougI.
He wouId oIIer IIs IILLIe Iund, Loo, wIen Ie suId "NIgIL" beIore Ie IeII usIeep In LIe gruss or us Ie
suL In IIs cIuIr. ¡ once Iound AdrIun In LIe buck gurden sILLIng on u very nurrow bencI mude oI
LIree bourds nuIIed LogeLIer, wuLcIIng EcIo usIeep uL IIs IeeL. "He guve me IIs Iund IIrsL," Ie
unnounced wIen Ie Iooked up und suw me. He Iud noL Ieurd me upproucI.
EIse und CIemenLIne ScIweIgesLIII LoId me LIuL Nepomuk wus LIe besL, mosL bIddubIe,
unLroubIesome cIIId LIey Iud ever seen - wIIcI ugreed wILI LIe sLorIes oI IIs eurIIesL duys.
AcLuuIIy ¡ Iuve known IIm Lo weep wIen Ie IurL IImseII, buL never IowI or rour or bIubber us
unruIy cIIIdren do. ¡L wouId Iuve been unLIInkubIe. ¡I Ie were IorbIdden, us Ior InsLunce uL un
InconvenIenL LIme, Lo go wILI LIe sLubIe-boy Lo LIe Iorses, or wILI WuILpurgIs InLo LIe cow-sLuIIs,
Ie wouId ussenL Lo LIe verdIcL quILe reudIIy und even suy: "¡n u IILLIe wIIIe, muybe Lomorrow or
nexL duy," In u Lone meunL Lo consoIe LIe grown-ups wIo, cerLuInIy uguInsL LIeIr wIII, Iud denIed
LIe requesL. Yes, Ie wouId even puL LIe dIsuppoInLed one us LIougI Lo suy: "Don'L Luke IL Lo
IeurL! NexL LIme you won'L Iuve Lo reIuse, muybe you cun IeL me."
¡L wus LIe sume wIen Ie couId noL go Lo AdrIun In LIe AbboL's room. He wus mucI druwn Lo
IIs uncIe, even In LIe IIrsL Lwo weeks; by LIe LIme ¡ goL LIere IL wus pIuIn LIuL Ie cIung especIuIIy
Lo AdrIun und wunLed Lo be wILI IIm. OI course LIIs wus purLIy becuuse IL wus LIe unusuuI, u
LreuL, wIIIe LIe socIeLy oI LIe women wus u commonpIuce. YeL Iow couId IL Iuve escuped IIm
LIuL LIIs mun, IIs moLIer's broLIer, occupIed umong LIe rusLIcs oI PIeIIIerIng u unIque,
Ionoured, even ruLIer InLImIduLIng pIuce? And LIeIr respecLIuI beurIng musL uIso muke LIe boy
euger Lo be wILI IIs uncIe. BuL one cunnoL suy LIuL AdrIun meL LIe IILLIe boy IuII-wuy. WIoIe duys
mIgIL go by und Ie wouId noL see IIm, wouId deny IImseII LIe undoubLedIy beIoved sIgIL. TIen
uguIn LIey wouId spend Iong Iours LogeLIer; LukIng wuIks Iund In Iund us Iur us LIe IILLIe one
couId go, sLroIIIng In IrIendIy sIIence or cIuLLIng In EcIo's IILLIe Iunguuge, LIrougI LIe
counLrysIde IusI wILI LIe seuson In wIIcI Ie Iud come und sweeL wILI scenLs oI IIIuc, uIder-busI,
und jusmIne. TIe IIgIL-IooLed Iud wouId be beIore IIm In LIe nurrow Iunes beLween wuIIs oI corn
uIreudy rIpenIng yeIIow Ior LIe IurvesL, LIeIr bIudes, wILI noddIng eurs us IIgI us IImseII,
mounLIng ouL oI LIe mouId.
OuL oI LIe eurLI, ¡ mIgIL beLLer suy, Ior LIe IILLIe one suId IL, expressIng IIs joy LIuL Ieuven guve
LIe "IIrsLy eurII" u drInk IusL nIgIL.
"A drInk, EcIo?" usked IIs uncIe, IeLLIng puss LIe resL oI LIe cIIId's meLupIorIcuI Iunguuge.
"You meun LIe ruIn?"
"Yes, LIe ruIn," IIs IILLIe compunIon ugreed more expIIcILIy; buL Ie wouId noL go IurLIer InLo
LIe muLLer.
"¡mugIne, Ie LuIks ubouL LIe eurLI beIng LIIrsLy, und uses u IIgure oI speecI IIke LIuL," AdrIun
reIuLed Lo me nexL LIme, In wonder. "¡sn'L LIuL u bIL sLrunge? Yes," Ie nodded, wILI u cerLuIn
umuzed recognILIon, "Ie Is preLLy Iur uIong."
WIen Ie wus obIIged Lo go InLo LIe cILy, AdrIun brougIL LIe boy uII sorLs oI presenLs: vurIous
unImuIs, u juck-In-LIe-box, u Loy ruIIwuy wILI IIgILs LIuL swILcIed on und oII us IL roured round
LIe curves; u mugIc cuskeL In wIIcI LIe greuLesL Lreusure wus u gIuss IIIIed wILI red wIne wIIcI
dId noL run ouL wIen LIe gIuss wus Lurned upsIde down. EcIo IIked LIese LIIngs, oI course, buL
wIen Ie Iud pIuyed wILI LIem Ie soon suId: " 'NuII," und mucI preIerred Lo Iuve IIs uncIe sIow
und expIuIn some objecL oI grown-up use - uIwuys LIe sume und uIwuys new, Ior u cIIId's
persIsLence und uppeLILe Ior repeLILIon ure greuL In muLLers oI enLerLuInmenL. TIe curved Ivory
puper-knIIe; LIe gIobe LurnIng on ILs uxIs, wILI broken Iund-musses, deep buys, sLrunge-sIuped
InIund seus, und vusL bIue-dyed oceuns; LIe cIock on LIe cIImney-pIece LIuL sLruck LIe Iours,
wIose weIgILs one couId wInd up wILI u crunk ouL oI LIe weII InLo wIIcI LIey Iud sunk; LIose
were some oI LIe wonders wIIcI LIe IILLIe boy coveLed Lo exumIne, wIen LIe sIender IIgure sLood
uL LIe door und LIe IILLIe voIce InquIred:
"Are you Iook cross becuuse ¡ do come?"
"No, EcIo, noL very cross. BuL LIe weIgILs ure onIy IuII-wuy down."
¡n LIIs cuse IL mIgIL be LIe musIc-box Ie usked Ior. ¡L wus my conLrIbuLIon, ¡ Iud brougIL IL Lo
IIm: u smuII brown box Lo be wound up underneuLI. TIe roIIer, provIded wILI meLuI Longues,
Lurned uIong LIe Luned LeeLI oI u comb und pIuyed, uL IIrsL brIskIy und duInLIIy, LIen sIowIy
runnIng down, LIree weII-IurmonIzed, demure IILLIe LInkIIng meIodIes, Lo wIIcI EcIo IIsLened
uIwuys wILI LIe sume rupL uLLenLIon, LIe sume unIorgeLLubIe mIxLure oI deIIgIL, surprIse, und
dreumy musIng.
HIs uncIe's munuscrIpLs Loo, LIose runes sLrewn over LIe sLuves, udorned wILI IILLIe sLems und
LuIIs, connecLed by sIurs und sLrokes, some bIunk, some IIIIed In wILI bIuck; Ie IIked Lo Iook uL
LIem Loo und Iuve IL expIuIned wIuL uII LIose murks were ubouL - jusL beLween ourseIves, LIey
were ubouL IIm, und ¡ sIouId IIke Lo know wIeLIer Ie dIvIned LIuL, wIeLIer IL couId be reud In
IIs eyes LIuL Ie guLIered IL Irom LIe musLer's expIunuLIons. TIIs cIIId, sooner LIun uny oI us, wus
prIvIIeged Lo geL un "InsIgIL" InLo LIe druILs oI LIe score oI ArIeI's songs, on wIIcI AdrIun wus
prIvuLeIy uL work. He Iud combIned LIe IIrsL, IuII oI gIosLIy "dIspersed" voIces oI nuLure, LIe
"Come unLo LIese yeIIow sunds," wILI LIe second, pure IoveIIness: "WIere LIe bee sucks, LIere
suck ¡," InLo u sIngIe song Ior sopruno, ceIesLe, muLed vIoIIn, un oboe, u buss cIurIneL, und LIe
IIugeoIeL noLes oI LIe Iurp. And LruIy Ie wIo Ieurs LIese "genLIy spIrILIng" sounds or even Ieurs
LIem by reudIng uIone, wILI IIs spIrIL's eur, muy weII usk wILI ¡erdInund: "WIere sIouId LIIs
musIc be? ¡ LI' uIr or LI' eurLI?" ¡or Ie wIo mude IL Ius cuugIL In ILs gossumer, wIIsperIng web
noL onIy LIe IoverIng cIIIdIIke-pure, bewIIderIng IIgIL swIILness oI "my duInLy ArIeI," buL LIe
wIoIe eIIIn worId Irom LIe IIIIs, brooks, und groves wIIcI In Prospero's descrIpLIon us weuk
musLers und demI-puppeLs by moonsIIne Ior LIeIr pusLIme mIdnIgIL musIrooms muke und LIe
green sour rIngIeLs wIereoI LIe ewe noL bILes. EcIo uIwuys usked Lo see once more LIe pIuce In
LIe noLes wIere LIe dog suys "Bow-wow" und cIunLIcIeer crIes "Cock-u-dIddIe-dow." And AdrIun
LoId IIm ubouL LIe wIcked wILcI Sycorux und Ier IILLIe sIuve, wIom sIe, becuuse Ie wus u spIrIL
Loo deIIcuLe Lo obey Ier eurLIy und ubIorred communds, conIIned In u cIoven pIne, In wIIcI
pIIgIL Ie spenL u dozen puInIuI yeurs, unLII LIe good musLer oI speIIs cume und Ireed IIm.
Nepomuk wunLed Lo know Iow oId LIe IILLIe spIrIL wus wIen Ie wus ImprIsoned und LIen Iow
oId wIen Ie wus Ireed, uILer LweIve yeurs. BuL IIs uncIe suId LIuL LIe spIrIL Iud no uge, LIuL Ie
wus LIe sume uILer us beIore ImprIsonmenL, LIe sume cIIId oI uIr - wILI wIIcI EcIo seemed
conLenL.
TIe MusLer oI LIe AbboL's room LoId IIm oLIer sLorIes, us weII us Ie couId remember LIem:
RumpeIsLIILskIn, ¡uIudu und Rupun-zeI und LIe SIngIng, SourIng ¡urk; Ior LIe sLorIes LIe IILLIe
one Iud Lo sIL on IIs uncIe's knee, sIdewIse, someLImes puLLIng one urm round IIs neck. "WeII,
LIuL does sound mosL nIce," Ie wouId suy wIen u LuIe wus done; buL oILen Ie wenL Lo sIeep wILI
IIs Ieud on LIe sLory-LeIIer's breusL. TIen IIs uncIe suL wILIouL movIng, IIs cIIn resLIng IIgILIy
on LIe IuIr oI LIe sIeepIng cIIId, unLII one oI LIe women cume und IeLcIed IIm uwuy.
As ¡ suId, Ior duys LIey mIgIL keep LIe cIIId Irom IIm, becuuse Ie wus busy, or perIups u
IeuducIe sIuL IIm uwuy In sIIence und durkness.
BuL uILer sucI u duy, wIen Ie Iud noL seen EcIo, Ie IIked Lo go wIen LIe cIIId wus puL Lo bed,
soILIy, IurdIy seen, Lo IIs room Lo Ieur LIe evenIng pruyer. TIe cIIId suId IIs pruyers IyIng on IIs
buck, IIs Iunds IoIded on IIs cIesL, one or boLI oI LIe women beIng presenL. TIey were very
sInguIur LIIngs Ie recILed, LIe IeuvenIy bIue oI IIs eyes cusL up Lo LIe ceIIIng, und Ie Iud u wIoIe
runge oI LIem so LIuL Ie IurdIy ever suId LIe sume ones Lwo evenIngs runnIng.
WIoso IedeLI Goddes sLevene
¡n Iym Is God und Ie In Ievene.
TIe sume commuunde myseIIe wouId keepe,
And me Insure my seemeIy sIepe.
Amen.
Or:
A munnes mIsdeede, Iowever greLe,
On Goddes mercI Ie muy wuIL,
My sInne Lo HIm u IyLyI LIynge Is,
God doLI buL smIIe und purdon brInges.
Amen,
Or:
WIoso Ior LIIs brIeI cesoun
BurLers Ievens bIysse
HuLI beLruyed IIs resoun
HIs Iouse LIe ruInbow Is;
GIve me Lo buIId on LIe IIrme grounde
And TIy eLernuI joys Lo sound.
Amen.
Or, remurkubIe Ior ILs unmIsLukubIe coIoruLIon by LIe ProLesLunL docLrIne oI predesLInuLIon:
TIrougI sIn no IeL Ius been,
Suve wIen some goode be seen.
Munnes good deede sIuII serve IIm weI,
Suve LIuL Ie were born Ior IeII.
O LIuL ¡ muy und mIne ¡ Iove
Be borne Ior bIessedness ubove!
Amen.
Or someLImes:
TIe sun up-Ion LIe dIveII sIInes
And purLs us pure uwuy
Keep me suIe In LIe vuIe oI eurLIe,
TIII LIuL ¡ puy LIe debL oI deuLIe.
Amen.
And IusLIy:
Murk, wIoso Ior oLIer pruy
HImseII Ie suves LIuL wuye.
EcIo pruyes Ior uII guInsL Iurms,
Muy God IoId IIm Loo In HIs urmes.
Amen.
TIIs verse ¡ myseII Ieurd IIm suy, und wus greuLIy LoucIed; ¡ LIInk Ie dId noL know ¡ wus
LIere.
OuLsIde LIe door AdrIun usked: "WIuL do you suy Lo LIIs LIeoIogIcuI specuIuLIon? He pruys Ior
uII creuLIon, expressIy In order LIuL Ie IImseII muy be IncIuded. SIouId u pIous cIIId know LIuL
Ie serves IImseII In LIuL Ie pruys Ior oLIers? SureIy LIe unseIIIsIness Is gone so soon us one sees
LIuL IL Is oI use."
"You ure rIgIL LIuL Iur," ¡ repIIed. "BuL Ie Lurns LIe LIIng InLo unseIIIsIness so soon us Ie muy
noL pruy onIy Ior IImseII buL does so Ior us uII."
"Yes, Ior us uII," AdrIun suId soILIy.
"AnyIow we ure LuIkIng us LIougI Ie Iud LIougIL LIese LIIngs up IImseII. Huve you ever
usked IIm wIere Ie Ieurned LIem, Irom IIs IuLIer or Irom wIom?"
TIe unswer wus: "OI, no, ¡ wouId ruLIer IeL LIe quesLIon resL und ussume LIuL Ie wouId noL
know."
¡L seemed LIuL LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs IeIL LIe sume. So Iur us ¡ know LIey never usked LIe cIIId LIe
source oI IIs IILLIe evenIng pruyers. ¡rom LIem ¡ Ieurd LIe ones wIIcI ¡ Iud noL IIsLened Lo Irom
ouLsIde. ¡ Iud LIem recILed Lo me uL u LIme wIen Nepomuk ScIneI-deweIn wus no Ionger wILI us.

CHAPTIR XLV
He wus Luken Irom us, LIuL sLrungeIy serupIIc IILLIe beIng wus Luken Irom LIIs eurLI - oI, my
God, wIy sIouId ¡ seek soIL words Ior LIe IursIesL, mosL IncompreIensIbIe crueILy ¡ Iuve ever
wILnessed? Even yeL IL LempLs my IeurL Lo bILLer murmur, yes, Lo rebeIIIon. He wus seL on wILI
IrIgILIuI, suvuge Iury und In u Iew duys snuLcIed uwuy by un IIIness oI wIIcI LIere Iud been Ior u
Iong LIme no cuse In LIe vIcInILy. Our good Dr. KurbIs wus greuLIy surprIsed by LIe vIoIence oI ILs
recurrence; buL Ie LoId us LIuL cIIIdren convuIescIng Irom meusIes or wIoopIng-cougI were
suscepLIbIe Lo IL.
TIe wIoIe LIIng IusLed scurceIy Lwo weeks, IncIudIng LIe eurIIesL sIgns LIuL uII wus noL quILe
weII wILI LIe cIIId; Irom LIose begInnIngs no one - ¡ beIIeve no one uL uII - even dreumed oI LIe
Iorror Lo come. ¡L wus LIe mIddIe oI AugusL; LIe IurvesL wus In IuII swIng, wILI u consIderubIe
Increuse In LIe number oI Iunds. ¡or Lwo monLIs Nepomuk Iud been LIe joy oI LIe Iouse. Now u
sIIgIL coId gIuzed LIe sweeL cIurILy oI IIs eyes; IL wus sureIy onIy LIIs unnoyIng uIIecLIon LIuL Look
uwuy IIs uppeLILe, mude IIm IreLIuI, und Increused LIe drowsIness Lo wIIcI Ie Iud been subjecL
ever sInce we knew IIm. He suId " 'NuII" Lo uII LIuL wus oIIered IIm: Iood, pIuy, pIcLure-books,
IuIry-LuIes. " 'NuII," Ie suId, IIs IILLIe Iuce puInIuIIy druwn, und Lurned uwuy. Soon LIere uppeured
un InLoIerunce oI IIgIL und sound, more dIsquIeLIng sLIII. He seemed Lo IeeI LIuL LIe wugons
drIvIng InLo LIe yurd mude more noIse LIun usuuI, LIuL voIces were Iouder. "Speuk more Iow," Ie
begged, wIIsperIng Lo sIow LIem Iow. NoL even LIe deIIcuLe LInkIIng oI LIe musIc-box wouId Ie
Ieur; uL once uLLered IIs LorLured " 'NuII, 'nuII!" sLopped LIe works IImseII, und LIen wepL
bILLerIy. He IIed Irom LIe IIgI-summer sunsIIne oI yurd und gurden, wenL Indoors und croucIed
LIere, rubbIng IIs eyes. ¡L wus Iurd Lo wuLcI IIm seekIng comIorL, goIng Irom one Lo unoLIer oI
IIs IovIng ones, puLLIng IIs urms ubouL LIeIr necks, onIy uILer u IILLIe Lo Lurn dIsconsoIuLe uwuy.
TIus Ie cIung Lo MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII, Lo CIemenLIne, Lo WuILpurgIs. TIe sume ImpuIse brougIL
IIm Lo IIs uncIe, Lo press IImseII uguInsL IIs breusL, Lo Iook up uL IIm, even Lo smIIe IuInLIy und
IIsLen Lo IIs genLIe words. BuL LIen LIe IILLIe Ieud wouId droop Iower und Iower; Ie wouId
murmur: "NIgIL!" sIIp Lo IIs IeeL, und go uwuy wILI unsLeudy Lreud.
TIe docLor cume. He guve IIm some drops Ior IIs nose und prescrIbed u LonIc, buL dId noL
conceuI IIs Ieur LIuL u more serIous IIIness wus seLLIng In. ¡n LIe AbboL's room Ie expressed LIIs
concern Lo IIs puLIenL oI muny yeurs.
"You LIInk so?" usked AdrIun, goIng puIe.
"TIe LIIng doesn'L Iook quILe rIgIL Lo me," LIe docLor suId.
"RIgIL?"
TIe words Iud been repeuLed In sucI u sLurLIed, uImosL sLurLIIng Lone LIuL KIIrbIs usked
IImseII II Ie Iud noL gone Loo Iur.
"WeII, In LIe sense ¡ menLIoned," Ie unswered. "You yourseII mIgIL Iook beLLer Loo, sIr. Your
IeurL Is seL on LIe IILLIe Iud?"
"OI, yes," wus LIe repIy. "¡L Is u responsIbIIILy, docLor. TIe cIIId wus gIven In our cIurge Iere
In LIe counLry Lo sLrengLIen IIs IeuILI... "
"TIe cIInIcuI pIcLure, In so Iur us one cun speuk oI sucI u LIIng," responded LIe docLor, "gIves
no wurrunL Ior u dIscourugIng dIugnosIs. ¡ wIII come uguIn Lomorrow."
He dId so, und now Ie couId dIugnose LIe cuse wILI uII Loo mucI cerLuInLy. Nepomuk Iud Iud
un ubrupL vomILIng-speII, IIke LIe ouLbreuk oI un IIIness; Ieud puIns seL In uccompunIed by mod-
eruLe Iever und wILIIn u Iew Iours Iud obvIousIy become uII buL InLoIerubIe. WIen LIe docLor
cume LIe cIIId Iud uIreudy been puL Lo bed und wus IoIdIng IIs Ieud wILI boLI Iunds, uLLerIng
sIrIeks wIIcI wenL on us Iong us IIs breuLI IeId ouL, u murLyrdom Lo uII wIo Ieurd LIem, und
LIey couId be Ieurd LIrougIouL LIe Iouse. AL InLervuIs Ie puL ouL IIs IILLIe Iunds Lo LIose ubouL
IIm, cryIng: "EcIo's Ieud, EcIo's Ieud!" TIen unoLIer vIoIenL speII oI vomILIng wouId IeLcI IIm
uprIgIL, Lo sInk buck uguIn In convuIsIons.
KurbIs LesLed LIe cIIId's eyes, LIe pupIIs oI wIIcI were LIny und sIowed u Lendency Lo squInL.
TIe puIse ruced. MuscuIur conLrucLIons deveIoped, und un IncIpIenL rIgIdILy oI LIe neck. ¡L wus
cerebro-spInuI menIngILIs, InIIummuLIon oI LIe menInges. TIe good mun pronounced LIe nume
wILI u deprecuLIng movemenL oI LIe Ieud sIouIderwurds, probubIy In LIe Iope LIuL LIey mIgIL
noL know LIe uImosL compIeLe powerIessness oI medIcuI scIence In LIe Iuce oI LIIs IuLuI
onsIuugIL. A IInL Iuy In IIs suggesLIon LIuL LIey mIgIL LeIegrupI und IeL LIe purenLs know. TIe
presence oI LIe moLIer, uL IeusL, wouId probubIy Iuve u sooLIIng eIIecL on LIe IILLIe puLIenL. He
uIso usked Ior u consuILuLIon wILI u pIysIcIun Irom LIe cupILuI, us Ie wunLed Lo sIure LIe
responsIbIIILy oI u cuse wIIcI wus unIorLunuLeIy noL uL uII IIgIL. "¡ um u sImpIe mun," Ie suId.
"TIIs Is u cuse Ior u IIgIer uuLIorILy." A gIoomy Irony Iuy, ¡ beIIeve, In IIs words. ¡n uny cuse, Ie
wus quILe compeLenL Lo underLuke LIe spInuI puncLure necessury Lo conIIrm LIe dIugnosIs us weII
us Lo uIIord LIe onIy possIbIe reIIeI Irom LIe puIns. ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, puIe buL cupubIe, us ever
IoyuI Lo LIe "Iumun," IeId LIe mounIng cIIId In bed, cIIn und knees uImosL LoucIIng, und
beLween LIe sepuruLed verLebrse KIIrbIs drove IIs needIe InLo LIe spInuI cunuI und drew ouL LIe
IIuId drop by drop. AImosL uL once LIe IrunLIc IeuducIe yIeIded. ¡I IL reLurned, LIe docLor suId -
Ie knew LIuL uILer u coupIe oI Iours IL musL reLurn, Ior LIe reIIeI Irom pressure gIven by druwIng
oII LIe IIuId Irom LIe bruIn cuvILy IusLed onIy LIuL Iong - LIen LIey musL use, besIdes LIe IndIs-
pensubIe Ice-bug, LIe cIIoruI wIIcI Ie prescrIbed und ordered Irom LIe counLy Lown.
AILer LIe puncLure Nepomuk IeII InLo u sIeep oI exIuusLIon. BuL LIen Ie wus roused by IresI
vomILIng, skuII-spIILLIng IeuducIe, und convuIsIons LIuL sIook IIs smuII Irume. TIe IeurL-
rendIng mouns und yeIIIng screums begun uguIn: LIe LypIcuI "IydrocepIuIIc sIrIek," uguInsL
wIIcI onIy LIe pIysIcIun, precIseIy becuuse Ie knows IL Is LypIcuI, Is LoIerubIy urmed. TIe LypIcuI
Ieuves one cuIm, onIy wIuL we LIInk oI us IndIvIduuI puLs us besIde ourseIves. ScIence Is cuIm.
ScIence dId noL, Iowever, prevenL our good counLry docLor Irom goIng over quILe soon Irom LIe
bromIde und cIIoruI prepuruLIons Lo morpIIne, wIIcI wus more eIIIcucIous. He muy Iuve
decIded us mucI Ior LIe suke oI LIe IumIIy- ¡ Iuve In mInd purLIcuIurIy one oI ILs members - us
ouL oI pILy Ior LIe murLyred cIIId. OnIy once In LwenLy-Iour Iours mIgIL LIe IIuId be druwn oII,
und Ior onIy Lwo oI LIese dId LIe reIIeI IusL. TwenLy-Lwo Iours oI sIrIekIng, wrILIIng LorLure, oI u
cIIId, oI LIIs cIIId, wIo IoIded IIs LwILcIIng IILLIe Iunds und sLummered: "EcIo wIII be good,
EcIo wIII be good!" ¡eL me udd LIuL Ior LIose wIo suw IIm u mInor sympLom wus perIups LIe
mosL dreudIuI oI uII: LIe squInLIng oI LIe Ieuven's-bIue eyes, cuused by LIe puruIysIs oI LIe eye-
muscIes uccompunyIng LIe rIgIdILy oI LIe neck. ¡L cIunged LIe sweeL Iuce uImosL beyond rec-
ognILIon, IorrIbIy; und In combInuLIon wILI LIe gnusIIng oI LIe LeeLI, wIIcI presenLIy begun,
guve IL u Iook us LIougI Ie were possessed.
NexL uILernoon, IeLcIed Irom WuIdsIuL by Gereon ScIweIgesLIII, LIe consuILIng uuLIorILy
urrIved Irom MunIcI. He wus u ProIessor von RoLIenbucI; KurbIs Iud suggesLed IIm umong
oLIers und AdrIun Iud cIosen IIm on uccounL oI IIs greuL repuLuLIon. He wus u LuII mun, wILI
one eye IuII-cIosed us LIougI Irom consLunL exumInuLIon. He Iud u socIuI presence und Iud been
ennobIed personuIIy by LIe IuLe KIng; wus mucI sougIL uILer und IIgI-prIced. He veLoed LIe
morpIIne, us ILs eIIecL mIgIL obscure LIe uppeurunce oI u comu, "wIIcI Ius noL yeL supervened."
He permILLed onIy codeIne. ObvIousIy Ie wus prImurIIy concerned wILI LIe LypIcuI progress oI
LIe cuse und u cIeur cIInIcuI pIcLure In uII ILs sLuges. AILer LIe exumInuLIon Ie conIIrmed LIe
dIsposILIons oI IIs obsequIous ruruI coIIeugue: uvoIdunce oI IIgIL, Ieud kepL cooI und bedded
IIgI, very genLIe IundIIng, uIcoIoI rubs, concenLruLed nourIsImenL; IL wouId probubIy become
necessury Lo gIve IL by u Lube LIrougI LIe nose. Very IIkeIy becuuse Ie wus noL In LIe Iome oI LIe
cIIId's purenLs IIs sympuLIy wus cundId und unequIvocuI. A cIoudIng oI LIe conscIousness,
IegILImuLe und noL premuLureIy Induced by morpIIne, wouId noL be Iong In uppeurIng, und wouId
grow progressIveIy worse. TIe cIIId wouId suIIer Iess, und IInuIIy noL uL uII. Even more unsIgILIy
sympLoms, LIereIore, musL noL be Luken Loo serIousIy. AILer Ie Iud Iud LIe goodness Lo curry ouL
LIe second puncLure wILI IIs own Iunds, Ie Look u dIgnIIIed Ieuve und dId noL reLurn.
¡or my purL, ¡ wus kepL posLed duIIy on LIe dreudIuI sILuuLIon by MoLIer ScIweIgesLIII on LIe
LeIepIone. OnIy on SuLurduy, LIe IourLI duy uILer LIe onsIuugIL oI LIe dIseuse, couId ¡ geL Lo
PIeIIIerIng. By LIen, uILer IurIous spusms wIIcI seemed Lo sLreLcI LIe IILLIe body on LIe ruck und
mude IIs eyebuIIs roII up In IIs Ieud, LIe comu Iud seL In. TIe sIrIekIng sLopped; LIere remuIned
onIy LIe gnusIIng oI LIe LeeLI. ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, worn wILI Iuck oI sIeep, Ier eyes swoIIen wILI
weepIng, meL me uL LIe door und urged me Lo go uL once Lo AdrIun. TIere wus LIme enougI Lo see
LIe poor buby, wIose purenLs Iud been wILI IIm sInce LIe nIgIL beIore. ¡ wouId see soon
enougI. BuL LIe Herr DocLor, Ie needed me Lo LuIk Lo IIm, jusL beLween ourseIves LIIngs weren'L
rIgIL wILI IIm, someLImes IL seemed Lo Ier Ie wus LuIkIng cruzy IIke.
¡n dIsLress oI mInd ¡ wenL Lo IIm. He suL uL IIs desk und us ¡ enLered gIunced up, uImosL wILI
conLempL. SIockIngIy puIe, Ie Iud LIe sume red eyes us LIe resL oI LIe IouseIoId; wILI IIs mouLI
IIrmIy sIuL, Ie kepL mecIunIcuIIy movIng IIs Longue Lo und Iro InsIde IIs Iower IIp.
"¡s LIuL you, good souI?" Ie suId us ¡ wenL Lo IIm und IuId my Iund on IIs sIouIder. "WIuL ure
you doIng Iere? TIIs Is no pIuce Ior you. Cross yourseII, IIke LIIs, IoreIeud Lo sIouIders, LIe wuy
you Ieurned us u cIIId. TIuL wIII keep you suIe."
And wIen ¡ spoke u Iew words oI consoIuLIon und Iope:
"Spure yourseII," Ie rougIIy InLerrupLed; "spure yourseII LIe IumunIsLIc quIbbIes. He Is LukIng
IIm. JusL IeL IIm muke IL sIorL. PerIups Ie cun'L muke IL uny sIorLer, wILI IIs mIserubIe meuns."
And Ie sprung up, sLood uguInsL LIe wuII, und Ieuned LIe buck oI IIs Ieud uguInsL LIe
puneIIIng.
"Tuke IIm, monsLer!" Ie crIed, In u voIce LIuL pIerced me Lo LIe murrow. "Tuke IIm, IeII-
Iound, buL muke uII LIe IusLe you cun, II you won'L LoIeruLe uny oI LIIs eILIer, cur, swIne, vIper! ¡
LIougIL," Ie suId In u Iow, conIIdenLIuI voIce, und Lurned Lo me suddenIy, LukIng u sLep Iorwurds
und IookIng uL me wILI u IosL, IorIorn guze ¡ sIuII never IorgeL, "¡ LIougIL Ie wouId concede LIIs
mucI, uILer uII, muybe jusL LIIs; buL no, wIere sIouId Ie Ieurn mercy, wIo Is wILIouL uny boweIs
oI compussIon? ProbubIy IL wus jusL exucLIy LIIs Ie Iud Lo crusI In IIs beusLIy Iury. Tuke IIm,
scum, IIILI, excremenL!" Ie sIrIeked, und sLepped uwuy Irom me uguIn us LIougI buck Lo LIe
Cross. "Tuke IIs body, you Iuve power over LIuL. BuL you'II Iuve Lo puL up wILI IeuvIng me IIs
souI, IIs sweeL und precIous souI, LIuL Is wIere you Iose ouL und muke yourseII u IuugIIng-sLock
- und Ior LIuL ¡ wIII IuugI you Lo scorn, ueons on end. ¡eL LIere be eLernILIes roIIed beLween my
pIuce und IIs, yeL ¡ sIuII know LIuL Ie Is LIere wIence you were LIrown ouL, orLs und druII LIuL
you ure! TIe LIougIL wIII be moIsLure on my Longue und u IosunnuI Lo mock you In my IouIesL
cursIngs!"
He covered IIs Iuce wILI IIs Iunds, Lurned round und Ieuned IIs IoreIeud uguInsL LIe wuII.
WIuL couId ¡ suy? Or do? How couId ¡ meeL sucI words? "BuL my deur IeIIow, Ior Ieuven's
suke be cuIm! You ure besIde yourseII, your suIIerIngs muke you ImugIne preposLerous LIIngs."
TIuL Is LIe sorL oI LIIng one suys, und ouL oI reverence Ior LIe psycIe, especIuIIy In LIe cuse oI
sucI u mun, one does noL LIInk oI LIe pIysIcuI remedIes, seduLIves, bromIde, und so on, even
LIougI we Iud LIem In LIe Iouse.
To my ImpIorIng eIIorLs uL consoIuLIon Ie onIy responded:
"Suve yourseII LIe LroubIe, jusL cross yourseII, LIuL's wIuL's goIng on up LIere. Do IL noL onIy
Ior yourseII, buL uL LIe sume LIme Ior me und my guIILy souI. WIuL u sIn, wIuL u crIme" - Ie wus
sILLIng now uL IIs desk, IIs LempIes beLween IIs IIsLs - "LIuL we IeL IIm come, LIuL ¡ IeL IIm be
neur me, LIuL ¡ IeusLed my eyes on IIm! You musL know LIuL cIIIdren ure Lender sLuII, LIey ure
recepLIve Ior poIsonous InIIuences - "
Now IL wus ¡, In very LruLI, wIo crIed ouL und IndIgnunLIy repudIuLed IIs words.
"AdrIun, no!" ¡ crIed. "WIuL ure you doIng, LorLurIng yourseII wILI ubsurd uccusuLIons,
bIumIng yourseII Ior u bIInd dIspensuLIon LIuL couId snuLcI uwuy LIe deur cIIId, perIups Loo deur
Ior LIIs eurLI, wIerever Ie cIunced Lo be! ¡L muy rend our IeurLs buL musL noL rob us oI our
reuson. You Iuve done noLIIng buL IovIng-kIndness Lo IIm... "
He onIy wuved me usIde. ¡ suL perIups un Iour wILI IIm, speukIng soILIy now und LIen, und Ie
muLLered unswers LIuL ¡ scurceIy undersLood. TIen ¡ suId ¡ wouId vIsIL LIe puLIenL.
"Yes, do LIuL," Ie reLorLed und udded, IurdIy:
"BuL don'L LuIk LIe wuy you dId uL IIrsL: 'WeII, my Iud, LIuL's u good boy,' und so on. ¡n LIe IIrsL
pIuce Ie won'L Ieur you, und LIen IL wouId mosL IIkeIy oIIend your IumunIsLIc LusLe."
¡ wus IeuvIng wIen Ie sLopped me, cuIIIng my nume, my IusL nume, ZeILbIom, wIIcI sounded
Iurd Loo. And wIen ¡ Lurned round:
"¡ IInd," Ie suId, "LIuL IL Is noL Lo be."
"WIuL, AdrIun, Is noL Lo be?"
"TIe good und nobIe," Ie unswered me; "wIuL we cuII LIe Iumun, uILIougI IL Is good, und
nobIe. WIuL Iumun beIngs Iuve IougIL Ior und sLormed cILudeIs, wIuL LIe ecsLuLIcs exuILunLIy
unnounced- LIuL Is noL Lo be. ¡L wIII be Luken buck. ¡ wIII Luke IL buck."
"¡ don'L quILe undersLund, deur mun. WIuL wIII you Luke buck?"
"TIe NInLI SympIony," Ie repIIed. And LIen no more cume, LIougI ¡ wuILed Ior IL.
Duzed und grIevousIy uIIIIcLed ¡ wenL up InLo LIe IuLuI room. TIe uLmospIere oI LIe sIck-
cIumber reIgned LIere, cIeun und bure, Ieuvy wILI LIe odours oI drugs, LIougI LIe wIndows
were wIde open. BuL LIe bIInds were uImosL sIuL, onIy u cruck sIowed. SeveruI peopIe were
sLundIng round Nepomuk's bed. ¡ puL ouL my Iund Lo LIem, my eyes uIreudy on LIe dyIng cIIId.
He Iuy on IIs sIde, IIs Iegs druwn up, eIbows und knees LogeLIer. TIe cIeeks were very IIusIed;
Ie drew u breuLI, LIen one wuILed Iong Ior LIe nexL. HIs eyes were noL quILe cIosed, buL beLween
LIe IusIes no IrIs sIowed, onIy bIuckness, Ior LIe pupIIs Iud grown unevenIy Iurger; LIey Iud
uImosL swuIIowed up LIe coIour. YeL IL wus good wIen one suw LIe mIrrorIng bIuck. ¡or
someLImes IL wus wIILe In LIe cruck, und LIen LIe IILLIe urms pressed cIoser Lo LIe sIdes, LIe
grIndIng spusm, crueI Lo see buL perIups no Ionger IeIL, LwIsLed LIe IILLIe IImbs.
TIe moLIer wus sobbIng. ¡ Iud squeezed Ier Iund, ¡ dId so uguIn. Yes, sIe wus LIere, UrseI,
LIe brown-eyed duugILer oI LIe BucIeI Iurm, AdrIun's sIsLer; und LIe woebegone Iuce oI LIe now
LIIrLy-nIne-yeur-oId womun moved me us ¡ suw, sLronger LIun ever, LIe puLernuI, LIe oId-
Germun IeuLures oI JonuLIun ¡ever-kIIIn. WILI Ier wus Ier Iusbund, Lo wIom LIe wIre Iud
been senL und Ie Iud IeLcIed Ier Irom Suderode: JoIunnes ScIneIde-weIn, u LuII, IIne-IookIng,
sImpIe mun wILI u bIond beurd, wILI Nepomuk's bIue eyes, wILI LIe IonesL und sober speecI
LIuL UrsuIu Iud eurIy cuugIL Irom IIm, wIose rIyLIm we Iud known In LIe LImbre oI EcIo, our
sprILe.
WILI LIe oLIers In LIe room, usIde Irom ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, wIo wus movIng Lo und Iro, wus
LIe wooIIy-IuIred KunIgunde RosensLIeI. On u vIsIL sIe Iud been uIIowed Lo muke sIe Iud
Ieurned Lo know LIe IILLIe Iud und Lreusured IIm pussIonuLeIy In Ier meIuncIoIy IeurL. SIe Iud uL
LIuL LIme, on Ier LypewrILer wILI LIe umpersund und on LIe IeLLer-puper oI Ier IneIegunL IIrm,
wrILLen u Iong IeLLer Lo AdrIun In modeI Germun descrIbIng Ier IeeIIngs. Now, drIvIng MeLu
Nuckedey Irom LIe IIeId, sIe Iud succeeded In reIIevIng LIe ScIweIgesLIIIs und LIen UrseI
ScIneIde-weIn In LIe cure oI LIe cIIId; cIunged IIs Ice-bug, rubbed IIm wILI spIrIL, LrIed Lo gIve
IIm Iood und medIcIne, und uL nIgIL unwIIIIngIy und seIdom yIeIded Lo unoLIer Ier pIuce by IIs
bed.
TIe ScIweIgesLIIIs, AdrIun, IIs IumIIy, KunIgunde, und ¡ uLe un uImosL sIIenL meuI In LIe NIke-
suuI LogeLIer, one oI LIe women rIsIng very oILen Lo Iook Lo LIe puLIenL. On Sunduy mornIng ¡
sIouId Iuve, Iurd us IL wus, Lo Ieuve PI eIII erIng. ¡ sLIII Iud u wIoIe sLuck oI ¡uLIn unseens Lo
correcL Ior Monduy. ¡ purLed Irom AdrIun wILI sooLIIng Iopes on my IIps, und LIe wuy Ie IeIL me
wus beLLer LIun LIe wuy Ie Iud receIved me LIe duy beIore. WILI u sorL oI smIIe Ie spoke, In
EngIIsI, LIe words¯
" 'TIen Lo LIe eIemenLs. Be Iree, und Iure LIou weII!' "
He Lurned quIckIy uwuy.
Nepomuk ScIneIdeweIn, EcIo, LIe cIIId, AdrIun's IusL Iove, IeII on sIeep LweIve Iours IuLer.
HIs purenLs Look LIe IILLIe coIIIn wILI LIem, buck Lo LIeIr Iome.

CHAPTIR XLVI
¡or neurIy Iour weeks now ¡ Iuve enLered noLIIng In LIese records; deLerred In LIe IIrsL pIuce
by u sorL oI menLuI exIuusLIon cuused by reIIvIng LIe scenes descrIbed In LIe IusL cIupLer, und
secondIy by LIe evenLs oI Loduy, now rusIIng IeudIong on eucI oLIer's IeeIs. ¡oreseen us u
IogIcuI sequence, und In u wuy Ionged Ior, LIey now uILer uII excILe un IncreduIous Iorror. Our
unIuppy nuLIon, undermIned by Ieur und dreud, IncupubIe oI undersLundIng, In duzed IuLuIIsm
IeLs LIem puss over ILs Ieud, und my spIrIL Loo, worn wILI oId sorrow, weury wILI oId wrong, Is
IeIpIessIy exposed Lo LIem us weII.
SInce LIe end oI MurcI - IL Is now LIe z¸LI oI AprII In LIIs yeur oI desLIny 1qq¸ - our
resIsLunce In LIe wesL Ius been vIsIbIy dIsInLegruLIng. TIe pupers, uIreudy IuII-unmuzzIed,
regIsLer LIe LruLI. Rumour, Ied by enemy unnouncemenLs on LIe rudIo und sLorIes LoId by
IugILIves, knows no censorsIIp, buL currIes LIe IndIvIduuI deLuIIs oI swIILIy spreudIng cuLusLropIe
ubouL LIe Iund, InLo regIons noL yeL swuIIowed, noL yeL IIberuLed by IL, und even IILIer InLo my
reLreuL. No IoId uny more: everybody surrenders, everybody runs uwuy. Our sIuLLered, buLLered
cILIes IuII IIke rIpe pIums. DurmsLudL, Wurzburg, ¡runkIurL ure gone; MunnIeIm und CusseII,
even MIInsLer und ¡eIpzIg ure In IoreIgn Iunds. One duy LIe EngIIsI reucIed Bremen, LIe
AmerIcuns were uL LIe guLes oI Upper ¡runconIu; Nuremberg, cILy oI LIe nuLIonuI ceIebruLIons so
upIIILIng Lo unenIIgILened IeurLs, Nuremberg surrendered. TIe greuL ones oI LIe regIme, wIo
wuIIowed In power, rIcIes, und wrong, now ruge und kIII LIemseIves: jusLIce Is done.
RussIun corps uILer LukIng KonIgsberg und VIennu were Iree Lo Iorce LIe Oder; LIey moved u
mIIIIon sLrong uguInsL LIe cupILuI, IyIng In ILs rubbIe, uIreudy ubundoned by uII LIe governmenL
oIIIcIuIs. RussIun Lroops currIed ouL wILI LIeIr Ieuvy urLIIIery LIe senLence Iong sInce InIIIcLed
Irom LIe uIr. TIey ure now upproucIIng LIe cenLre oI BerIIn. ¡usL yeur LIe IorrIbIe mun escuped
wILI IIs IIIe- by now sureIy onIy un InsuneIy IIurIng und IIIckerIng exIsLence - Irom LIe pIoL oI
desperuLe puLrIoLs LryIng Lo suIvuge LIe IuLure oI Germuny und LIe IusL remnunL oI Ier muLerIuI
goods. Now Ie Ius communded IIs soIdIery Lo drown In u seu oI bIood LIe uLLuck on BerIIn und
Lo sIooL every oIIIcer wIo speuks oI surrender. And LIe order Ius been In consIderubIe meusure
obeyed. AL LIe sume LIme sLrunge rudIo messuges In Germun, no Ionger quILe sune, rove LIe
upper uIr; some oI LIem commend LIe popuIuLIon Lo LIe benevoIence oI LIe conquerors, even
IncIudIng LIe secreL poIIce, wIo LIey suy Iuve been mucI sIundered. OLIers ure LrunsmILLed by u
"Ireedom movemenL" cIrIsLened WerwoII: u bund oI ruvIng-mud Iuds wIo IIde In LIe woods und
breuk ouL nIgILIy; LIey Iuve uIreudy deserved weII oI LIe ¡uLIerIund by muny u guIIunL murder oI
LIe Invuders. TIe IunLusLIc mIngIes wILI LIe IorrIbIe: up Lo LIe very end LIe crudeIy Iegendury,
LIe grIm deposIL oI sugu In LIe souI oI LIe nuLIon, Is Invoked, wILI uII ILs IumIIIur ecIoes und
reverberuLIons.
A LrunsuLIunLIc generuI Ius Iorced LIe popuIuLIon oI WeImur Lo IIIe pusL LIe cremuLorIes oI LIe
neIgIbourIng concenLruLIon-cump. He decIured LIuL LIese cILIzens - wIo Iud gone In uppurenL
rIgILeousness ubouL LIeIr duIIy concerns und sougIL Lo know noLIIng, uILIougI LIe wInd brougIL
Lo LIeIr noses LIe sLencI oI burnIng Iumun IIesI - Ie decIured LIuL LIey Loo were guIILy oI LIe
ubomInuLIons on wIIcI Ie Iorced LIem now Lo Lurn LIeIr eyes. Wus LIuL unjusL? ¡eL LIem Iook, ¡
Iook wILI LIem. ¡n spIrIL ¡ IeL myseII be sIouIdered In LIeIr duzed or sIudderIng runks. Germuny
Iud become u LIIck-wuIIed underground LorLure-cIumber, converLed InLo one by u proIIIguLe
dIcLuLorsIIp vowed Lo nIIIIIsm Irom ILs begInnIngs on. Now LIe LorLure-cIumber Ius been bro-
ken open, open IIes our sIume beIore LIe eyes oI LIe worId. ¡oreIgn commIssIons InspecL LIose
IncredIbIe pIoLogrupIs everywIere dIspIuyed, und LeII LIeIr counLrymen LIuL wIuL LIey Iuve
seen surpusses In IorrIbIeness unyLIIng LIe Iumun ImugInuLIon cun conceIve. ¡ suy our sIume.
¡or Is IL mere IypocIondrIu Lo suy Lo oneseII LIuL everyLIIng Germun, even LIe Germun mInd
und spIrIL, Germun LIougIL, LIe Germun Word, Is InvoIved In LIIs scunduIous exposure und
mude subjecL Lo LIe sume dIsLrusL? ¡s LIe sense oI guIIL quILe morbId wIIcI mukes one usk
oneseII LIe quesLIon Iow Germuny, wIuLever Ier IuLure munIIesLuLIons, cun ever presume Lo
open Ier mouLI In Iumun uIIuIrs?
¡eL us cuII LIem LIe sInIsLer possIbIIILIes oI Iumun nuLure In generuI LIuL Iere come Lo IIgIL.
Germun Iumun beIngs, Lens oI LIousunds, Iundreds oI LIousunds oI LIem IL Is, wIo Iuve per-
peLruLed wIuL IumunILy sIudders uL; und uII LIuL Is Germun now sLunds IorLI us un ubomInuLIon
und u wurnIng. How wIII IL be Lo beIong Lo u Iund wIose IIsLory wILnesses LIIs IIdeous deIuuIL; u
Iund seII-muddened, psycIoIogIcuIIy burnL-ouL, wIIcI quILe undersLundubIy despuIrs oI
governIng ILseII und LIInks IL Ior LIe besL LIuL IL become u coIony oI IoreIgn powers; u nuLIon LIuL
wIII Iuve Lo IIve sIuL In IIke LIe gIeLLo Jews, becuuse u IrIgILIuIIy swoIIen IuLred round uII ILs
borders wIII noL permIL IL Lo emerge; u nuLIon LIuL cunnoL sIow ILs Iuce ouLsIde?
Curses, curses on LIe corrupLers oI un orIgInuIIy decenL specIes oI Iumun beIng, Iuw-ubIdIng,
onIy Loo docIIe, onIy uII Loo wIIIIngIy IIvIng on LIeory, wIo LIus wenL Lo scIooI Lo EvII! How good
IL Is Lo curse - or ruLIer Iow good IL wouId be, II onIy LIe cursIng cume Irom u Iree und
unobsLrucLed IeurL! We ure presenL uL LIe IusL gusp oI u bIood sLuLe wIIcI, us ¡uLIer puL IL, "Look
on ILs sIouIders" ImmeusurubIe crImes; wIIcI roured und beIIowed Lo LIe ruvIsIed und reeIIng
musses procIumuLIons cunceIIIng uII Iumun rIgILs; wIIcI seL up ILs guudy bunners Ior youLI Lo
murcI under, und LIey murcIed, wILI proud Lreud und IIusIIng eyes, In pure und urdenL IuILI.
BuL u puLrIoLIsm wIIcI wouId usserL LIuL u bIood sLuLe IIke LIuL wus so Iorced, so IoreIgn Lo our
nuLIonuI cIurucLer LIuL IL couId noL Luke rooL umong us: sucI u puLrIoLIsm wouId seem Lo me
more IIgI-mInded LIun reuIIsLIc. ¡or wus LIIs governmenL, In word und deed, unyLIIng buL LIe
dIsLorLed, vuIgurIzed, besmIrcIed symboI oI u sLuLe oI mInd, u noLIon oI worId uIIuIrs wIIcI we
musL recognIze us boLI genuIne und cIurucLerIsLIc? ¡ndeed, musL noL LIe CIrIsLIun und Iumune
mun sIrInk us Ie sees IL sLumped upon LIe IeuLures oI our greuLesL, LIe mIgILIesL embodImenLs
oI our essenLIuI Germunness? ¡ usk - und sIouId ¡ noL? AI, IL Is no Ionger In quesLIon LIuL LIIs
beuLen peopIe now sLundIng wIId-eyed In Iuce oI LIe voId sLund LIere jusL becuuse LIey Iuve
IuIIed, IuIIed IorrIbIy In LIeIr IusL und uLLermosL uLLempL Lo IInd LIe poIILIcuI Iorm suILed Lo LIeIr
purLIcuIur needs.
¯ ¯ ¯
YeL Iow sLrungeIy LIe LImes, LIese very LImes In wIIcI ¡ wrILe, ure IInked wILI LIe perIod LIuL
Iorms LIe Irume oI LIIs bIogrupIy! ¡or LIe IusL yeurs oI my Iero's ruLIonuI exIsLence, LIe Lwo
yeurs 1qzq und 1q¸o, uILer LIe sIIpwreck oI IIs murrIuge pIuns, LIe Ioss oI IIs IrIend, LIe
snuLcIIng uwuy oI LIe murveIIous cIIId - LIose yeurs were purL und purceI oI LIe mounLIng und
spreudIng Iurms wIIcI LIen overwIeImed LIe counLry und now ure beIng bIoLLed ouL In bIood
und IIumes.
And Ior AdrIun ¡everküIn LIey were yeurs oI Immense und IIgIIy sLImuIuLed, one Is LempLed
Lo suy monsLrous creuLIve ucLIvILy, wIIcI mude even LIe sympuLIeLIc onIooker gIddy. One couId
noL IeIp IeeIIng LIuL IL wus by wuy oI beIng u compensuLIon und uLonemenL Ior LIe Ioss oI Iumun
IuppIness und muLuuI Iove wIIcI Iud beIuIIen IIm. ¡ spoke oI Lwo yeurs, buL LIuL Is IncorrecL,
sInce onIy u purL oI eucI, LIe second IuII oI one und some monLIs oI LIe oLIer, suIIIced Lo
produce LIe wIoIe composILIon, IIs IusL und In u somewIuL IIsLorIcuI sense IIs uLmosL work: LIe
sympIonIc cunLuLu The Lcmentction oj Dr. Icustus, LIe pIun oI wIIcI, us ¡ Iuve uIreudy
expIuIned, goes buck Lo beIore LIe udvenL oI IILLIe Nepomuk ScIneIdeweIn In PIeIIIerIng. To IL ¡
wIII now devoLe my poor powers.
BuL IIrsL ¡ musL noL IuII Lo sIed some IIgIL upon LIe personuI condILIon oI ILs creuLor, u mun
now IorLy-Iour yeurs oId; Lo speuk oI IIs uppeurunce und wuy oI IIIe us LIey LIen seemed Lo my uI-
wuys unxIous und observunL eye. WIuL ¡ sIouId IIrsL seL down Is LIe IucL - ¡ Iuve menLIoned IL
eurIIer In LIese puges - LIuL IIs Iooks, wIIcI, so Iong us Ie wus smooLI-sIuven, Iud sIown sucI
u IIkeness Lo IIs moLIer, Iud oI IuLe consIderubIy uILered. TIe cIunge wus due Lo u durk growLI oI
beurd, mIxed wILI grey, u sorL oI cIIn-beurd, wILI LIe uddILIon oI u droopIng IILLIe sLrIp oI
mousLucIe. TIougI mucI IeuvIer on LIe cIIn, IL dId noL Ieuve LIe cIeeks Iree; buL even on LIe
cIIn IL wus IeuvIer uL LIe sIdes LIun In LIe mIddIe, und LIus wus noL IIke un ImperIuI. One bore
wILI LIe unIumIIIurILy resuILIng Irom LIe purLIuI coverIng oI LIe IeuLures, becuuse IL wus LIIs
beurd - und perIups u growIng Lendency Ie Iud Lo curry IIs Ieud on one sIde - LIuL guve IIs
counLenunce someLIIng spIrILuuIIzed und suIIerIng, even CIrIsLIIke. ¡ couId noL IeIp IovIng LIIs
expressIon, und IeIL LIuL my sympuLIy wILI IL wus jusLIIIed In LIuL obvIousIy IL dId noL IndIcuLe
weukness buL wenL wILI un uImosL excessIve energy und un unexcepLIonubIe sLuLe oI IeuILI,
wIIcI my IrIend couId noL enougI ceIebruLe. He dweIL on IL In LIe somewIuL reLurded,
someLImes IesILunL, someLImes sIIgILIy monoLonous munner oI speecI wIIcI ¡ Iud IuLeIy noLed
In IIm und wIIcI ¡ IIked Lo expIuIn us u sIgn oI producLIve ubsorpLIon, oI seII-conLroI und poIse In
LIe mIdsL oI u dIsLrucLIng wIIrI oI Ideus. TIe Irksome pIysIcuI condILIons LIuL Iud vIcLImIzed IIm
so Iong, LIe cuLurrI or LIe sLomucI, LIe LIrouL LroubIe, LIe LormenLIng uLLucks oI IeuducIe were
uII gone, IIs duy wus IIs own, und Ireedom Lo work In IL. He IImseII decIured IIs IeuILI Lo be
perIecL, mugnIIIcenL; und one couId reud In IIs eyes LIe creuLIve energy wILI wIIcI Ie duIIy urose
Lo IIs Lusk. ¡L IIIIed me wILI prIde, yeL uguIn IL mude me IeurIuI oI reIupses. HIs eyes, In IIs
Iormer sLuLe IuII overIung by LIe droopIng IIds, were now uImosL exuggeruLedIy wIde open, und
ubove LIe IrIs one suw u sLrIp oI wIILe. TIuL mIgIL perIups uIurm me, LIe more becuuse LIere
wus ubouL LIe wIdened guze u IIxILy - or sIuII ¡ suy IL wus u sLure? - LIe nuLure oI wIIcI ¡
puzzIed over unLII IL occurred Lo me LIuL IL depended on LIe unvuryIng sIze oI LIe noL quILe
round, ruLIer IrreguIurIy IengLIened pupIIs, us LIougI LIey remuIned unuIIecLed by uny
uILeruLIon In LIe IIgILIng.
¡ um LuIkIng ubouL u rIgIdness Lo some exLenL InLernuI, one needed Lo be u very mucI
concerned observer Lo perceIve IL. TIere wus unoLIer, more obvIous und sLrIkIng munIIesLuLIon
oI un opposILe kInd, noLIced by our deur JouneLLe ScIeurI, wIo menLIoned IL Lo me uILer u vIsIL.
SIe need noL Iuve, oI course. TIIs wus LIe recenL IubIL, Ior InsLunce wIen Ie wus LIInkIng, oI
movIng IIs eyebuIIs rupIdIy Lo und Iro ruLIer Iur, Irom one sIde Lo LIe oLIer, roIIIng LIem, us we
suy. Some peopIe mIgIL be sLurLIed by IL. ¡I ¡ myseII Iound IL eusy - und IL seems Lo me ¡ dId IInd
IL so - Lo Iuy sucI IubILs, eccenLrIc enougI II you IIke, Lo LIe enormous sLruIn Ie wus under; yeL
prIvuLeIy ¡ wus reIIeved Lo LIInk LIuL excepL Ior myseII scurceIy unyone suw IIm, und LIuL pre-
cIseIy becuuse ¡ Ieured ouLsIders mIgIL be uIurmed. ¡n prucLIce, uny sorL oI socIuI InLercourse
wILI LIe cILy wus now excIuded. ¡nvILuLIons were decIIned by LIe IuILIIuI IundIudy on LIe
LeIepIone, or even remuIned ununswered. SIorL LrIps on errunds were gIven up, LIe IusL one
IuvIng been mude Lo buy Loys Ior LIe deud cIIId. CIoLIes LIuL Iud been worn Lo evenIng purLIes
und on pubIIc occusIons Iung unused In IIs wurdrobe, IIs dress wus LIe sImpIesL everyduy. NoL u
dressIng-gown, Ior Ie never used one, even In LIe mornIngs, onIy wIen Ie goL up In LIe nIgIL
und suL un Iour or Lwo In IIs cIuIr. BuL u Ioose couL IIke u peu-juckeL, cIosed Lo LIe LIrouL so LIuL
Ie needed no LIe, worn wILI some odd puIr oI cIecked Lrousers, Ioose und unpressed: sucI wus uL
LIIs LIme IIs IubILuuI gurb. He wore IL ouL oI doors Loo, Ior LIe reguIur, IndIspensubIe Iong wuIks
Ie Look Lo geL LIe uIr InLo IIs Iungs. One mIgIL Iuve spoken oI un unkempLness In IIs uppeurunce
II IIs nuLuruI dIsLIncLIon Iud noL, on InLeIIecLuuI grounds, beIIed LIe sLuLemenL.
¡or wIom, Indeed, sIouId Ie Iuve Luken puIns? He suw JeuneLLe ScIeurI, wILI wIom Ie wenL
LIrougI cerLuIn sevenLeenLI-cenLury musIc sIe Iud brougIL wILI Ier (¡ remember u cIuconne oI
Jucopo MeIunI wIIcI IILeruIIy unLIcIpuLes u pussuge In Tristcn). ¡rom LIme Lo LIme Ie suw
RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, LIe IIke-eyed, wILI wIom Ie IuugIed. ¡ couId noL reIruIn Irom LIInkIng
desoIuLeIy LIuL onIy LIe IIke eyes were IeIL, LIe bIuck und LIe bIue ones IuvIng dIsuppeured... He
suw, IusLIy, me, wIen ¡ wenL Lo spend LIe week-end. And LIuL wus uII. Moreover, LIere were Iew
Iours In wIIcI Ie couId wIsI Ior socIeLy, Ior noL excepLIng Sunduy (wIIcI Ie Iud never "kepL
IoIy") Ie worked eIgIL Iours u duy, wILI un InLermIssIon Ior un uILernoon resL In u durkened
room. So LIuL on my vIsILs Lo PIeIIIerIng ¡ wus IeIL very mucI Lo myseII. As LIougI ¡ regreLLed IL! ¡
wus neur IIm, neur LIe source oI LIe beIoved work, beIoved LIrougI uII mç suIIerIngs und sIud-
derIngs. ¡or u decude und u IuII now IL Ius been u burIed, IorbIdden Lreusure, wIose resurrecLIon
muy come ubouL LIrougI LIe desLrucLIve IIberuLIon we now endure. TIere were yeurs In wIIcI
we cIIIdren oI LIe dungeon dreumed oI u Iymn oI exuILuLIon, u Iidelio, u NInLI SympIony, Lo
ceIebruLe LIe duwn oI u Ireed Germuny- Ireed by IerseII. Now onIy LIIs cun uvuII us, onIy LIIs
wIII be sung Irom our very souIs: LIe Lcmentction oI LIe son oI IeII, LIe IumenL oI men und Cod,
IssuIng Irom LIe subjecLIve, buL uIwuys broudenIng ouL und us IL were IuyIng IoId on LIe Cosmos;
LIe mosL IrIgILIuI IumenL ever seL up on LIIs eurLI.
Woe, woe! A De Projundis, wIIcI In my zeuI und Iove ¡ um bound Lo cuII muLcIIess. YeL Ius IL
noL - Irom LIe poInL oI vIew oI creuLIve urL und musIcuI IIsLory us weII us LIuL oI IndIvIduuI
IuIIIImenL - u jubIIunL, u IIgIIy LrIumpIunL beurIng upon LIIs uwe-InspIrIng IucuILy oI
compensuLIon und redress? Does IL noL meun LIe "breuk-LIrougI," oI wIIcI we so oILen LuIked
wIen we were consIderIng LIe desLIny oI urL, ILs sLuLe und Iour? We spoke oI IL us u probIem, u
purudoxIcuI possIbIIILy: LIe recovery, ¡ wouId noL suy LIe reconsLILuLIon - und yeL Ior LIe suke oI
exucLness ¡ wIII suy IL - oI expressIvIsm, oI LIe IIgIesL und proIoundesL cIuIm oI IeeIIng Lo u
sLuge oI InLeIIecLuuIILy und IormuI sLrIcLness, wIIcI musL be urrIved uL In order LIuL we muy
experIence u reversuI oI LIIs cuIcuIuLed coIdness und ILs conversIon InLo u voIce expressIve oI LIe
souI und u wurmLI und sIncerILy oI creuLure conIIdence. ¡s LIuL noL LIe "breuk-LIrougI"?
¡ puL In LIe Iorm oI u quesLIon wIuL Is noLIIng more LIun LIe descrIpLIon oI u condILIon LIuL
Ius ILs expIunuLIon In LIe LIIng ILseII us weII us In ILs urLIsLIc und IormuI uspecL. TIe
Lcmentction, LIuL Is - und wIuL we Iuve Iere Is un ubIdIng, InexIuusLIbIy uccenLuuLed IumenL
oI LIe mosL puInIuIIy Ecce-Iomo kInd - LIe Lcmentction Is expressIon ILseII; one muy sLuLe
boIdIy LIuL uII expressIvIsm Is reuIIy IumenL; jusL us musIc, so soon us IL Is conscIous oI ILseII us
expressIon uL LIe begInnIng oI ILs modern IIsLory, becomes IumenL und "lcscictemi morire" LIe
IumenL oI ArIudne, to LIe soILIy ecIoIng pIuInLIve song oI nympIs. ¡L does noL Iuck sIgnIIIcunce
LIuL LIe Icust cunLuLu Is sLyIIsLIcuIIy so sLrongIy und unmIsLukubIy IInked wILI LIe sevenLeenLI
cenLury und MonLeverdI, wIose musIc - uguIn noL wILIouL sIgnIIIcunce - Iuvoured LIe ecIo-
eIIecL, someLImes Lo LIe poInL oI beIng u munnerIsm. TIe ecIo, LIe gIvIng buck oI LIe Iumun
voIce us nuLure-sound, und LIe reveIuLIon oI IL cs nuLure-sound, Is essenLIuIIy u IumenL: NuLure's
meIuncIoIy "AIus!" In vIew oI mun, Ier eIIorL Lo uLLer IIs soIILury sLuLe. ConverseIy, LIe IumenL oI
LIe nympIs on ILs sIde Is reIuLed Lo LIe ecIo. ¡n ¡everküIn's IusL und IoILIesL creuLIon, ecIo,
IuvourILe devIce oI LIe buroque, Is empIoyed wILI unspeukubIy mournIuI eIIecL.
A IumenL oI sucI gIgunLIc dImensIons Is, ¡ suy, oI necessILy un expressIve work, u work oI
expressIon, und LIerewILI IL Is u work oI IIberuLIon; jusL us LIe eurIIer musIc, Lo wIIcI IL IInks
ILseII ucross LIe cenLurIes, sougIL Lo be u IIberuLIon oI expressIon. OnIy LIuL LIe dIuIecLIc process
- by wIIcI, uL LIe sLuge oI deveIopmenL LIuL LIIs work occupIes, Is consummuLed by LIe cIunge
Irom LIe sLrIcLesL consLruInL Lo LIe Iree Iunguuge oI IeeIIng, LIe bIrLI oI Ireedom Irom bonduge -
LIe dIuIecLIc process uppeurs us endIessIy more compIIcuLed In ILs IogIc, endIessIy more
mIrucuIous und umuzIng LIun uL LIe LIme oI LIe mudrIguksLs. Here ¡ wIII remInd LIe reuder oI u
conversuLIon ¡ Iud wILI AdrIun on u Iong-ugo duy, LIe duy oI IIs sIsLer's weddIng uL BucIeI, us we
wuIked round LIe Cow TrougI. He deveIoped Ior me- under pressure oI u IeuducIe- IIs Ideu oI
LIe "sLrIcL sLyIe," derIved Irom LIe wuy In wIIcI, us In LIe IIed "D lieb Mcdel, uie schlecht bist
du" meIody und Iurmony ure deLermIned by LIe permuLuLIon oI u IundumenLuI IIve-noLe moLII,
LIe symboIIc IeLLers I, e, u, e, e-IIuL. He sIowed me LIe "mugIc squure" oI u sLyIe oI LecInIque
wIIcI yeL deveIoped LIe exLreme oI vurIeLy ouL oI IdenLIcuI muLerIuI und In wIIcI LIere Is no
Ionger unyLIIng unLIemuLIc, unyLIIng LIuL couId noL prove ILseII Lo be u vurIuLIon oI un ever
consLunL eIemenL. TIIs sLyIe, LIIs LecInIque, Ie suId, udmILLed no noLe, noL one, wIIcI dId noL
IuIIII ILs LIemuLIc IuncLIon In LIe wIoIe sLrucLure - LIere wus no Ionger uny Iree noLe.
Now, Iuve ¡ noL, wIen ¡ uLLempLed Lo gIve some Ideu oI ¡everküIn's upocuIypLIc oruLorIo,
reIerred Lo LIe subsLunLIuI IdenLILy oI LIe mosL bIesL wILI LIe mosL uccursL, LIe Inner unILy oI LIe
cIorus oI cIIId ungeIs und LIe IeIIIsI IuugILer oI LIe dumned? TIere, Lo LIe mysLIc Iorror oI one
sensILIve Lo IL, Is reuIIzed u ULopIu In Iorm, oI LerrIIyIng IngenuILy, wIIcI In LIe Icust cunLuLu
becomes unIversuI, seIzes upon LIe wIoIe work und, II ¡ muy so puL IL, cuuses IL Lo be compIeLeIy
swuIIowed up by LIemuLIc LIInkIng. TIIs gIunL "IumenLo" (IL IusLs un Iour und u quurLer) Is very
cerLuInIy non-dynumIc, IuckIng In deveIopmenL, wILIouL drumu, In LIe sume wuy LIuL concenLrIc
rIngs mude by u sLone LIrown InLo wuLer spreud ever IurLIer, wILIouL drumu und uIwuys LIe
sume. A mummoLI vurIuLIon-pIece oI IumenLuLIon - us sucI neguLIveIy reIuLed Lo LIe IInuIe oI
LIe NInLI SympIony wILI ILs vurIuLIons oI exuILuLIon - broudens ouL In cIrcIes, eucI oI wIIcI
druws LIe oLIer resIsLIessIy uILer IL: movemenLs, Iurge-scuIe vurIuLIons, wIIcI correspond Lo LIe
LexLuuI unILs oI cIupLers oI u book und In LIemseIves ure noLIIng eIse LIun serIes oI vurIuLIons.
BuL uII oI LIem go buck Ior LIe LIeme Lo u IIgIIy pIusLIc IundumenLuI IIgure oI noLes, wIIcI Is
InspIred by u cerLuIn pussuge oI LIe LexL.
We recuII LIuL In LIe oId cIup-book wIIcI LeIIs LIe sLory oI LIe urcI-mugIcIun's IIIe und deuLI,
secLIons oI wIIcI ¡everküIn wILI u Iew boId udupLuLIons puL LogeLIer us LIe busIs oI IIs
movemenLs, Dr. ¡uusLus, us IIs Iour-gIuss Is runnIng ouL, InvILes IIs IrIends und IumIIIurs,
"mugIsLros, BuccuIuureos und oLIer sLudenLs," Lo LIe vIIIuge oI RImIIcI neur WILLenberg,
enLerLuIns LIem LIere IospILubIy uII duy Iong, uL nIgIL Lukes one more drInk oI "JoIunn's wIne"
wILI LIem, und LIen In un uddress boLI dIgnIIIed und penILenLIuI unnounces und gIves LIem Lo
know IIs IuLe und LIuL ILs IuIIIImenL Is now uL Iund. ¡n LIIs "Drctio Icusti cd Studiosos" Ie usks
LIem, wIen LIey IInd IIm sLrungIed und deud, cIurILubIy Lo convey IIs body InLo LIe eurLI; Ior Ie
dIes, Ie suys, us u bud und us u good CIrIsLIun: u good one by LIe power oI IIs repenLunce, und
becuuse In IIs IeurL Ie uIwuys Iopes Ior mercy on IIs souI; u bud one In so Iur us Ie knows LIuL
Ie Is now IucIng u IorrIbIe end und LIe DevII wIII und musL Iuve IIs body. TIese words: "¡or ¡
dIe us u good und us u bud CIrIsLIun," Iorm LIe generuI LIeme oI LIe vurIuLIons. ¡I you counL LIe
syIIubIes, LIere ure LweIve, und uII LweIve noLes oI LIe cIromuLIc scuIe ure seL Lo IL, wILI uII LIe
LIInkubIe InLervuIs LIereIn. ¡L uIreudy occurs und mukes ILseII IeIL Iong beIore IL Is reInLroduced
wILI LIe LexL, In ILs pIuce us u cIoruI group - LIere Is no Lrue soIo In LIe Icustus- rIsIng up unLII
LIe mIddIe, LIen descendIng, In LIe spIrIL und InIIexIon oI LIe MonLeverdI Lcmento. ¡L Is LIe
busIs oI uII LIe musIc - or ruLIer, IL IIes uImosL us key beIInd everyLIIng und Is responsIbIe Ior
LIe IdenLILy oI LIe mosL vurIed Iorms- LIuL IdenLILy wIIcI exIsLs beLween LIe crysLuIIIne ungeIIc
cIoIr und LIe IeIIIsI yeIIIng In LIe Apocclçpse und wIIcI Ius now become uII-embrucIng: u
IormuI LreuLmenL sLrIcL Lo LIe IusL degree, wIIcI no Ionger knows unyLIIng unLIemuLIc, In wIIcI
LIe order oI LIe busIc muLerIuI becomes LoLuI, und wILIIn wIIcI LIe Ideu oI u Iugue ruLIer
decIInes InLo un ubsurdILy, jusL becuuse LIere Is no Ionger uny Iree noLe. BuL IL serves now u
IIgIer purpose; Ior - oI, murveI, oI, deep dIuboIIc jesL! - jusL by vIrLue oI LIe ubsoIuLeness oI
LIe Iorm LIe musIc Is, us Iunguuge, Ireed. ¡n u more concreLe und pIysIcuI sense LIe work Is done,
Indeed, beIore LIe composILIon even begIns, und LIIs cun now go on wIoIIy unresLruIned; LIuL Is,
IL cun gIve ILseII over Lo expressIon, wIIcI, LIus IIILed beyond LIe sLrucLuruI eIemenL, or wILIIn ILs
uLLermosL severILy, Is won buck uguIn. TIe creuLor oI "Icusti Wehellcçe" cun, In LIe prevIousIy
orgunIzed muLerIuI, unIumpered, unLroubIed by LIe uIreudy gIven sLrucLure, yIeId IImseII Lo
subjecLIvILy; und so LIIs, IIs LecInIcuIIy mosL rIgId work, u work oI exLreme cuIcuIuLIon, Is uL LIe
sume LIme pureIy expressIve. TIe reLurn Lo MonLeverdI und LIe sLyIe oI IIs LIme Is wIuL ¡ meunL
by "LIe reconsLrucLIon oI expressIveness," oI expressIveness In ILs IIrsL und orIgInuI
munIIesLuLIon, expressIveness us IumenL.
Here mursIuIIed und empIoyed ure uII LIe meuns oI expressIon oI LIuL emuncIpuLory epocI oI
wIIcI ¡ Iuve uIreudy menLIoned LIe ecIo-eIIecL - especIuIIy suILubIe Ior u work wIoIIy bused on
LIe vurIuLIon-prIncIpIe, und LIus Lo some exLenL sLuLIc, In wIIcI every LrunsIormuLIon Is ILseII
uIreudy LIe ecIo oI LIe prevIous one. ¡L does noL Iuck ecIo-IIke conLInuuLIons, LIe IurLIer
repeLILIon oI LIe cIosIng pIruse oI u LIeme In IIgIer pILcI. TIere ure IuInL remInIscences oI
OrpIIc IumenLuLIon, wIIcI muke OrpIeus und ¡uusL broLIers us Invokers oI LIe worId oI sIudes:
us In LIuL epIsode wIere ¡uusL summons HeIen, wIo Is Lo beur IIm u son. TIere ure u Iundred
reIerences Lo LIe Lone und spIrIL oI LIe mudrIguI, und u wIoIe movemenL, LIe exIorLuLIon Lo IIs
IrIends uL LIe meuI on LIe IusL nIgIL, Is wrILLen In sLrIcL mudrIguI Iorm.
BuL precIseIy In LIe sense oI resume LIere ure oIIered musIcuI momenLs oI LIe greuLesL
conceIvubIe possIbIIILy oI expressIon: noL us mecIunIcuI ImILuLIon or regressIon, oI course; no, IL
Is IIke u perIecLIy conscIous conLroI over uII LIe "cIurucLers" oI expressIveness wIIcI Iuve ever
been precIpILuLed In LIe IIsLory oI musIc, und wIIcI Iere, In u sorL oI uIcIemIcuI process oI
dIsLIIIuLIon, Iuve been reIIned Lo IundumenLuI Lypes oI emoLIonuI sIgnIIIcunce, und crysLuIIIzed.
Here Is LIe deep-druwn sIgI uL sucI words us: "AI, ¡uusLus, LIou senceIes, wIIIuII, desperuLe
IerLe! AI, uI, reuson, mIscIIeI, presumpLIon, und Iree wIII ..." LIe recurrenL suspensIons, even
LIougI onIy us u rIyLImIcuI devIce, LIe cIromuLIc meIody, LIe uwIuI coIIecLIve sIIence beIore LIe
begInnIng oI u pIruse, repeLILIons sucI us In LIuL "Lcscictemi," LIe IIngerIng-ouL oI syIIubIes,
IuIIIng InLervuIs, dyIng-uwuy decIumuLIons - uguInsL Immense conLrusL IIke LIe enLry oI LIe
LrugIc cIorus, c ccpellc und In IuII Iorce, uILer ¡uusL's descenL InLo IeII, un orcIesLruI pIece In LIe
Iorm oI grund buIIeL-musIc und guIop oI IunLusLIc rIyLImIc vurIeLy - un overwIeImIng ouLbursL
oI IumenLuLIon uILer un orgy oI InIernuI joIIILy.
TIIs wIId concepLIon oI LIe curryIng-oII oI ¡uusL us u dunce-IurIoso recuIIs mosL oI uII LIe spIrIL
oI LIe Apocclçpsis cum jiçuris, nexL Lo IL, perIups, LIe IorrIbIe - ¡ do noL IesILuLe Lo suy cynIcuI
- cIoruI scIerzo, wIereIn "LIe evII spIrIL seLs Lo uL LIe gIoomy ¡uusLus wILI sLrunge mockIng
jesLs und suyIngs" - LIuL IrIgILIuI "LIen sIIence, suIIer, keepe IuILI, ubsLuIn; oI LIy III IoL Lo none
compIuyne; IL Is Loo IuLe, oI Gode dIspuIr, LIy III Iuck runneLI everywIere." BuL Ior LIe resL,
¡everküIn's IuLe work Ius IILLIe In common wILI LIuL oI IIs LIIrLIes. ¡L Is sLyIIsLIcuIIy purer,
durker In Lone us u wIoIe und wILIouL purody, noL more conservuLIve In ILs IucIng Lowurds LIe
pusL, buL meIIower, more meIodIous; more counLerpoInL LIun poIypIony - by wIIcI ¡ meun LIe
Iesser purLs Ior uII LIeIr Independence puy more Ieed Lo LIe muIn purL, wIIcI oILen dIes uwuy In
Iong meIodIc curves, und LIe kerneI oI wIIcI, ouL oI wIIcI everyLIIng deveIops, Is jusL LIuL
LweIve-noLe Ideu: "¡or ¡ dIe us u bud und us u good CIrIsLIun." ¡ong ugo ¡ suId In LIese puges LIuL
In Icustus Loo LIuL IeLLer symboI, LIe HeLueru-EsmeruIdu IIgure, IIrsL perceIved by me, very oILen
governs meIody und Iurmony: LIuL Is Lo suy, everywIere wIere LIere Is reIerence Lo LIe bond
und LIe vow, LIe promIse und LIe bIood pucL.
Above uII LIe Icust cunLuLu Is dIsLInguIsIed Irom LIe Apocclçpse by ILs greuL orcIesLruI
InLerIudes, wIIcI someLImes onIy express In generuI LIe uLLILude oI LIe work Lo ILs subjecL, u
sLuLemenL, u "TIus IL Is." BuL someLImes, IIke LIe uwIuI buIIeL-musIc oI LIe descenL Lo IeII, LIey
uIso sLund Ior purLs oI LIe pIoL. TIe orcIesLruLIon oI LIIs Iorror-dunce consIsLs oI noLIIng buL
wInd InsLrumenLs und u conLInuous uccompunImenL, wIIcI, composed oI Lwo Iurps,
IurpsIcIord, pIuno, ceIesLe, gIockenspIeI, und percussIon, pervudes LIe work LIrougIouL us u sorL
oI "conLInuo," uppeurIng uguIn und uguIn. Some cIoruI pIeces ure uccompunIed onIy by IL. To
oLIers, wInd InsLrumenLs, Lo sLIII oLIers sLrIngs ure udded; oLIers uguIn Iuve u IuII orcIesLruI
uccompunImenL. PureIy orcIesLruI Is LIe end: u sympIonIc udugIo, InLo wIIcI LIe cIorus oI
IumenL, openIng powerIuIIy uILer LIe InIerno-guIop, gruduuIIy pusses over - IL Is, us IL were, LIe
reverse oI LIe "Ode Lo Joy," LIe neguLIve, equuIIy u work oI genIus, oI LIuL LrunsILIon oI LIe sym-
pIony InLo vocuI jubIIuLIon. ¡L Is LIe revocuLIon.
My poor, greuL IrIend! How oILen, reudIng In LIIs ucIIevemenL oI IIs decIIne, IIs posLIumous
work, wIIcI propIeLIcuIIy unLIcIpuLes so mucI desLrucLIon, Iuve ¡ recuIIed LIe dIsLressIuI words
Ie uLLered uL LIe deuLI oI LIe cIIId. ¡L Is noL Lo be, goodness, joy, Iope, LIuL wus noL Lo be, IL
wouId be Luken buck, IL musL be Luken buck! "AIus, IL Is noL Lo be!" How LIe words sLund, uImosL
IIke u musIcuI dIrecLIon, ubove LIe cIoruI und orcIesLruI movemenLs oI "Dr. Icusti Wehellcç",
Iow LIey speuk In every noLe und uccenL oI LIIs "Ode Lo Sorrow"! He wroLe IL, no doubL, wILI IIs
eye on BeeLIoven's NInLI, us ILs counLerpurL In u mosL meIuncIoIy sense oI LIe word. BuL IL Is noL
onIy LIuL IL more LIun once IormuIIy neguLes LIe sympIony, reverses IL InLo LIe neguLIve; no, Ior
even In LIe reIIgIous IL Is neguLIve - by wIIcI ¡ do noL uL uII meun IL denIes LIe reIIgIous. A work
LIuL deuIs wILI LIe TempLer, wILI uposLusy, wILI dumnuLIon, wIuL eIse couId IL be buL u reIIgIous
work? WIuL ¡ meun Is u conversIon, u proud und bILLer cIunge oI IeurL, us ¡, uL IeusL, reud IL In
LIe "IrIendIy pIeu" oI Dr. ¡uusLus Lo LIe compunIons oI IIs IusL Iour, LIuL LIey sIouId beLuke
LIemseIves Lo bed, sleep in pecce, und IeL nuugIL LroubIe LIem. ¡n LIe Irume oI LIe cunLuLu one
cun scurceIy IeIp recognIzIng LIIs InsLrucLIon us LIe conscIous und deIIberuLe reversuI oI LIe
"WuLcI wILI me" oI GeLIsemune. And uguIn LIe JoIunn's wIne, LIe druugIL drunk by LIe purLIng
souI wILI IIs IrIends, Ius un uILogeLIer rILuuI sLump, IL Is conceIved us unoLIer ¡usL Supper, BuL
IInked wILI IL Is un InversIon oI LIe LempLuLIon Ideu, In sucI u wuy LIuL ¡uusL rejecLs us
LempLuLIon LIe LIougIL oI beIng suved: noL onIy ouL oI IormuI IoyuILy Lo LIe pucL und becuuse IL Is
"Loo IuLe," buL becuuse wILI IIs wIoIe souI Ie despIses LIe posILIvIsm oI LIe worId Ior wIIcI one
wouId suve IIm, LIe IIe oI ILs godIIness. TIIs becomes cIeurer sLIII und Is worked ouL even more
powerIuIIy In LIe scene wILI LIe good oId docLor und neIgIbour wIo InvILes ¡uusL Lo come Lo see
IIm, In order Lo muke u pIous eIIorL Lo converL IIm. ¡n LIe cunLuLu Ie Is cIeurIy druwn In LIe
cIurucLer oI u LempLer; und LIe LempLIng oI Jesus by SuLun Is unmIsLukubIy suggesLed; us
unmIsLukubIy uIso Is LIe "Apcçel" by LIe proudIy despuIrIng "No!" uLLered Lo IuIse und IIubby
mIddIe-cIuss pIeLy.
BuL unoLIer und IusL, LruIy LIe IusL cIunge oI mInd musL be LIougIL on, und LIuL proIoundIy.
AL LIe end oI LIIs work oI endIess IumenLuLIon, soILIy, ubove LIe reuson und wILI LIe speukIng
unspokenness gIven Lo musIc uIone, IL LoucIes LIe IeeIIngs. ¡ meun LIe cIosIng movemenL oI LIe
pIece, wIere LIe cIoIr Ioses ILseII und wIIcI sounds IIke LIe IumenL oI God over LIe IosL sLuLe oI
HIs worId, IIke LIe CreuLor's rueIuI "¡ Iuve noL wIIIed IL." Here, Lowurds LIe end, ¡ IInd LIuL LIe
uLLermosL uccenLs oI mournIng ure reucIed, LIe IInuI despuIr ucIIeves u voIce, und - ¡ wIII noL
suy IL, IL wouId meun Lo dIspuruge LIe uncompromIsIng cIurucLer oI LIe work, ILs IrremedIubIe
unguIsI Lo suy LIuL IL uIIords, down Lo ILs very IusL noLe, uny oLIer consoIuLIon LIun wIuL IIes In
voIcIng IL, In sImpIy gIvIng sorrow words; In LIe IucL, LIuL Is, LIuL u voIce Is gIven LIe creuLure Ior
ILs woe. No, LIIs durk Lone-poem permILs up Lo LIe very end no consoIuLIon, uppeusemenL,
LrunsIIguruLIon. BuL Luke our urLIsL purudox: grunL LIuL expressIveness - expressIon us IumenL -
Is LIe Issue oI LIe wIoIe consLrucLIon: LIen muy we noL puruIIeI wILI IL unoLIer, u reIIgIous one,
und suy Loo (LIougI onIy In LIe IowesL wIIsper) LIuL ouL oI LIe sIeerIy IrremedIubIe Iope mIgIL
germInuLe? ¡L wouId be buL u Iope beyond IopeIessness, LIe Lrunscendence oI despuIr - noL
beLruyuI Lo Ier, buL LIe mIrucIe LIuL pusses beIIeI. ¡or IIsLen Lo LIe end, IIsLen wILI me: one group
oI InsLrumenLs uILer unoLIer reLIres, und wIuL remuIns, us LIe work Iudes on LIe uIr, Is LIe IIgI G
oI u ceIIo, LIe IusL word, LIe IusL IuInLIng sound, sIowIy dyIng In u pIunIssImo-IermuLu. TIen
noLIIng more: sIIence, und nIgIL. BuL LIuL Lone wIIcI vIbruLes In LIe sIIence, wIIcI Is no Ionger
LIere, Lo wIIcI onIy LIe spIrIL Ieurkens, und wIIcI wus LIe voIce oI mournIng, Is so no more. ¡L
cIunges ILs meunIng; IL ubIdes us u IIgIL In LIe nIgIL.

CHAPTIR XLVII
"WuLcI wILI me!" ¡n IIs cunLuLu AdrIun mIgIL II Ie cIose LrunsIorm LIuL cry oI Iumun und
dIvIne ugony InLo LIe muscuIIne prIde und seII-conIIdence oI IIs ¡uusL's "SIeep quIeLIy und Ieur
noLIIng!" BuL LIe Iumun remuIns, uILer uII: LIe InsLIncLIve IongIng, II noL Ior uId, LIen cerLuInIy
Ior LIe presence oI Iumun sympuLIy, LIe pIeu: "¡orsuke me noL! Be ubouL me uL my Iour!"
And so, wIen LIe yeur 1q¸o wus uImosL IuII gone, In LIe monLI oI Muy, ¡everküIn, by vurIous
meuns, InvILed u compuny Lo PIeIIIerIng, uII IIs IrIends und ucquuInLunces, even some wIom Ie
knew buL IILLIe or noL uL uII, u good muny peopIe, us muny us LIIrLy: purLIy by wrILLen curds, purLIy
LIrougI me, und uguIn by some oI LIose InvILed pussIng on LIe InvILuLIon Lo oLIers. Some, uguIn,
ouL oI sIeer curIosILy InvILed LIemseIves, In oLIer words begged un InvILuLIon Irom me or some
oLIer member oI LIe more InLImuLe cIrcIe. On IIs curds AdrIun Iud IeL IL be known LIuL Ie
wIsIed Lo gIve Lo u IuvourubIy dIsposed group oI IrIends some Ideu oI IIs jusL IInIsIed cIoruI
sympIonIc work, by pIuyIng some oI ILs cIurucLerIsLIc purLs on LIe pIuno. He LIus uroused LIe
InLeresL oI cerLuIn peopIe wIom Ie Iud noL LIougIL oI InvILIng, us Ior InsLunce LIe drumuLIc
sopruno Tunyu OrIundu und Herr KIoeIeIund, wIo Iud LIemseIves bIdden LIrougI LIe
ScIIugInIuuIens; und LIe pubIIsIer RudbrucI und IIs wIIe, wIo uLLucIed LIemseIves Lo
ScIIIdknupp. AdrIun Iud uIso senL u wrILLen curd Lo BupLIsL SpengIer, LIougI Ie cerLuInIy musL
Iuve known LIuL SpengIer Iud noL been Ior u monLI und more umong LIe IIvIng. TIuL InLeIIecLuuI
und wIL, onIy In LIe mIddIe oI IIs IorLIes, Iud mosL regreLLubIy succumbed Lo IIs IeurL LroubIe.
As Ior me, ¡ udmIL ¡ wus noL uL euse ubouL LIe wIoIe uIIuIr. WIy IL Is Iurd Lo suy. TIIs
summons Lo u Iurge number oI peopIe mosL oI wIom were boLI InwurdIy und ouLwurdIy very re-
moLe Irom IIm Lo come Lo IIs mosL InLImuLe reLreuL, Lo LIe end LIuL LIey sIouId be InILIuLed InLo
IIs mosL InLImuLe work: IL wus not IIke AdrIun; IL mude me uneusy, noL so mucI In ILseII us
becuuse IL seemed u sLrunge LIIng Ior IIm Lo do. TIougI In und Ior ILseII IL wenL uguInsL me Loo.
On wIuLever grounds - und ¡ do LIInk ¡ Iuve IndIcuLed LIe grounds - In my IeurL ¡ IIked beLLer
Lo IeeI Ie wus uIone In IIs reIugIum, seen onIy by IIs IumunIy mInded, respecLIuI, und devoLed
IosLs und by us Iew, ScIIId-knupp, our deur JeuneLLe, LIe udorIng RosensLIeI und Nuckedey und
myseII, LIun Lo Iuve LIe eyes oI u mIxed guLIerIng, noL used Lo IIm, Iocused on IIm wIo In IIs
Lurn wus noL used Lo LIe worId. BuL wIuL wus LIere Ior me Lo do buL puL my Iund Lo LIe
enLerprIse wIIcI Ie IImseII Iud uIreudy gone so Iur In, Lo curry ouL IIs InsLrucLIons und do my
LeIepIonIng? TIere were no regreLs; on LIe conLrury, us ¡ suId, onIy uddILIonuI requesLs Ior un
InvILuLIon.
NoL onIy dId ¡ Iook wILI dIsIuvour on LIe wIoIe uIIuIr. ¡ wIII go IurLIer In my conIessIon und
seL down LIuL ¡ wus LempLed Lo remuIn uwuy myseII. YeL uguInsL LIuL course wus my unxIous
sense oI duLy, LIe IeeIIng LIuL ¡ musL, wIIIy-nIIIy, be presenL und wuLcI over everyLIIng. And so
on LIuL SuLurduy uILernoon ¡ beLook myseII wILI HeIene Lo MunIcI, wIere we cuugIL LIe IocuI
LruIn Ior WuIdsIuL-GurmIscI. We sIured LIe compurLmenL wILI ScIIIdknupp, JeuneLLe ScIeurI,
und KunIgunde RosensLIeI. TIe resL oI LIe guesLs were scuLLered In dIIIerenL coucIes, wILI
excepLIon oI LIe ScIIugInIuuIen puIr, LIe SuubIun-speukIng oId renLIer und LIe Iormer von
PIuusIg, wIo LogeLIer wILI LIeIr IrIends Irom LIe operu mude LIe LrIp by cur. TIey urrIved beIore
we dId, und LIe cur dId good servIce In PIeIIIerIng, goIng Lo und Iro severuI LImes beLween LIe
IILLIe sLuLIon und HoI ScIweIgesLIII und conveyIng LIe guesLs by groups, sucI oI LIem, LIuL Is, us
dId noL preIer Lo wuIk. TIe weuLIer IeId, LIougI u sLorm rumbIed IuInLIy on LIe IorIzon. No
urrungemenLs Iud been mude Lo IeLcI LIe guesLs; und ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, wIom HeIene und ¡
sougIL ouL In LIe kILcIen, expIuIned Lo us In no smuII consLernuLIon LIuL AdrIun Iud noL suId u
word Lo prepure Ier Ior LIe InvusIon. Now In uII IusLe, wILI CIemenLIne's IeIp, sIe wus mukIng
sundwIcIes Ior LIese peopIe, Lo be served wILI coIIee und sweeL cIder.
MeunwIIIe LIe buyIng oI oId Suso or KuscIperI, jumpIng ubouL und ruLLIIng IIs cIuIn In IronL
oI IIs kenneI, seemed never Lo sLop; Ie becume quIeL onIy wIen no more guesLs cume und LIe
compuny Iud guLIered In LIe NIke suIon, wIILIer LIe servunLs IusLIIy IeLcIed cIuIrs Irom LIe
IumIIy quurLers und even Irom LIe sIeepIng-cIumbers ubove. ¡n uddILIon Lo LIe guesLs uIreudy
numed, ¡ menLIon u Iew more oI LIose presenL, uL rundom und Irom memory: LIe weuILIy
BuIIInger, ¡eo ZInk, LIe puInLer, wIom neILIer AdrIun nor ¡ reuIIy IIked und wIom Ie Iud
presumubIy InvILed uIong wILI LIe depurLed SpengIer; HeImuL ¡nsLILorIs, now u sorL oI wIdower;
LIe cIeurIy urLIcuIuLIng Dr. KrunIcI; ¡ruu BInder-Mujorescu, LIe KnoLerIcIs, LIe IoIIow-cIeeked
jesLer und ucudemy porLruIL-puInLer NoLLeboIm und IIs wIIe, brougIL by ¡nsLILorIs. AIso LIere
were SIxLus KrIdwIss und LIe members oI IIs dIscussIon group: Dr. UnruIe, LIe reseurcIer InLo
LIe sLruLu oI LIe eurLI, ProIessors VogIer und HoIzscIuIer, DunIeI zur HoIe, LIe poeL, In u bIuck
buLLoned-up Irock couL; und Lo my greuL unnoyunce even LIuL quIbbIIng sopIIsL CIuIm
BreIsucIer. TIe proIessIonuI musIcuI eIemenL wus represenLed, In uddILIon Lo LIe operu sIngers,
by Dr. EdscImId, LIe dIrecLor oI LIe ZupIensLosser orcIesLru. To my uLLer usLonIsImenL - und
probubIy noL onIy Lo mIne - wIo sIouId Iuve Iound IIs wuy IILIer buL Buron GIeIcIen-
Russwurm, wIo, so Iur us ¡ know, wus mukIng IIs IIrsL socIuI uppeurunce sInce LIuL uIIuIr wILI
LIe mouse, und Iud brougIL IIs wIIe wILI IIm, u IuII-bosomed, eIegunL AusLrIun dume. ¡L up-
peured LIuL AdrIun, eIgIL duys beIoreIund, Iud senL un InvILuLIon Lo IIs esLuLe, und mosL IIkeIy
LIe so IunLusLIcuIIy compromIsed descendunL oI LIe poeL ScIIIIer Iud joyIuIIy seIzed upon LIe
unIque opporLunILy Lo reInsLuLe IImseII In socIeLy.
WeII, so uII LIese peopIe, some LIIrLy, us ¡ suId, uL IIrsL sLood ubouL expecLunLIy- In LIe suIon,
greeLed eucI oLIer, excIunged LIeIr IeeIIngs oI unLIcIpuLIon. RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, In IIs ever-
IusLIng sIubby sporLs cIoLIes, wus surrounded by IemuIes. Women, In IucL, Iormed LIe mujorILy
oI LIe guesLs. ¡ Ieurd LIe voIces oI LIe drumuLIc sIngers rIsIng eupIonIousIy ubove uII LIe resL;
LIe cIeur, usLImuLIc urLIcuIuLIon oI Dr. KrunIcI; BuIIInger's swuggerIng Lones, LIe ussurunces oI
KrIdwIss LIuL LIIs guLIerIng und wIuL IL promIsed wus "scho'enorm uichtich," und zur HoIe's
concurrence: "1c uohl, mcn lcnn es scçen," us Ie pounded wILI LIe buIIs oI IIs IeeL. TIe
Buroness GIeIcIen moved ubouL, seekIng sympuLIy Ior LIe obscure IuLuIILy LIuL Iud beIuIIen Ier
und Ier Iusbund: "You know ubouL LIIs ennui we Iuve Iud," sIe wus suyIng Lo uII und sundry.
¡rom LIe begInnIng ¡ Iud observed LIuL muny oI LIe guesLs dId noL noLIce AdrIun's presence und
spoke us LIougI we were sLIII wuILIng Ior IIm, sImpIy becuuse LIey dId noL recognIze IIm. He
wus sILLIng uL LIe Ieuvy ovuI LubIe In LIe cenLre oI LIe room, wIere we Iud once LuIked wILI SuuI
¡ILeIberg; Ie Iud IIs buck Lo LIe IIgIL, und wus dressed In IIs everyduy cIoLIes. BuL severuI guesLs
usked me wIo LIe genLIemun wus, und wIen, uL IIrsL In some surprIse, ¡ seL LIem rIgIL LIey
IusLened wILI un "OI, reuIIy!" oI sudden enIIgILenmenL Lo greeL LIeIr IosL. How Ie musL Iuve
cIunged, under my very eyes, Ior LIuL Lo be possIbIe! OI course, LIe beurd mude u greuL
dIIIerence, und ¡ suId so Lo LIose wIo couId noL IeeI convInced LIuL IL wus Ie. Neur IIs cIuIr LIe
wooIIy-Ieuded RosensLIeI sLood erecL Ior u Iong LIme, IIke u senLIneI; LIIs wus wIy MeLu
Nuckedey kepL us Iur oII us possIbIe, In u remoLe corner oI LIe room. However, KunIgunde Iud
LIe decency Lo Ieuve Ier posL uILer u wIIIe, wIereon LIe oLIer udorIng souI occupIed IL
sLruIgILwuy. Open on LIe ruck oI LIe squure pIuno uguInsL LIe wuII sLood LIe score oI The Lcmen-
tction oj Dr. Icustus.
¡ kepL my eyes on my IrIend, und wIIIe LuIkIng wILI one und unoLIer oI LIe guesLs dId noL mIss
LIe sIgn wIIcI Ie guve me wILI IIs Ieud und eyebrows, Lo LIe eIIecL LIuL ¡ sIouId Iuve peopIe
Luke LIeIr seuLs. ¡ dId so uL once, InvILIng LIose neuresL me, mukIng sIgns Lo LIose IurLIer oII, und
even brIngIng myseII Lo cIup my Iunds Ior sIIence, LIuL LIe unnouncemenL mIgIL be mude LIuL
Dr. ¡everküIn wouId now begIn IIs IecLure. A mun knows by u cerLuIn numbness oI LIe IeuLures
LIuL Ie Ius gone puIe; LIe drops oI perspIruLIon wIIcI muy come ouL on IIs brow ure deuLIIy
coId us weII. My Iunds, wIen ¡ very IeebIy cIupped LIem, sIook us LIey sIuke now wIen ¡ seL
myseII Lo wrILe down LIe IorrIbIe memory.
TIe uudIence obeyed wILI IuIr uIucrILy. SIIence und order were quIckIy esLubIIsIed. ¡L
Iuppened LIuL uL LIe LubIe wILI AdrIun suL LIe oId ScIIugInIuuIens, JeuneLLe ScIeurI,
ScIIIdknupp, my wIIe und myseII. TIe oLIer guesLs were IrreguIurIy besLowed uL boLI sIdes oI LIe
room, on vurIous kInds oI seuLs, LIe soIu, puInLed wooden cIuIrs, IorseIuIr urm-cIuIrs; some oI
LIe men Ieuned uguInsL LIe wuIIs. AdrIun sIowed no sIgn oI gruLIIyIng LIe generuI expecLuLIon,
mIne IncIuded, by goIng Lo LIe pIuno. He suL wILI IIs Iunds IoIded, IIs Ieud drooped Lo one sIde,
IookIng sLruIgIL In IronL oI IIm, yeL IurdIy wILI un ouLwurd guze. He begun In LIe now compIeLe
IusI Lo uddress LIe ussembIy, In LIe sIIgILIy monoLonous, ruLIer IuILerIng voIce ¡ wus IumIIIur
wILI; In LIe sense oI u greeLIng, IL seemed Lo me uL IIrsL, und uL IIrsL IL reuIIy wus LIuL. ¡ musL
brIng myseII Lo udd LIuL Ie oILen mIs-spoke - und In my ugony ¡ dug my nuIIs InLo my puIms -
und In correcLIng one mIsLuke mude unoLIer, so LIuL uILer u wIIIe Ie puId no IurLIer uLLenLIon,
buL sImpIy pussed LIem over. AnyIow, ¡ need noL Iuve been so ugonIzed over IIs vurIous
IrreguIurILIes oI pronuncIuLIon, Ior Ie used In purL, us Ie Iud uIwuys enjoyed doIng In wrILIng, u
sorL oI eIder Germun, wILI ILs deIecLs und open senLence-sLrucLure, uIwuys wILI someLIIng
doubLIuI und unreguIuLed ubouL IL; Iow Iong ugo Is IL, Indeed, LIuL our Longue ouLgrew LIe
burburIc und goL LoIerubIy reguIuLed us Lo grummur und speIIIng!
He begun In u Iow murmur, so LIuL very Iew undersLood IIs openIng senLence or mude
unyLIIng ouL oI IL. PerIups LIey Look IL us u wIIm, u rIeLorIcuI IIourIsI; IL wenL someLIIng IIke
LIIs:
"EsLeemed, In especIuI deur und beIoved breLIren und sIsLers."
AILer LIuL Ie wus sIIenL Ior u IILLIe, us LIougI consIderIng, IIs cIeek resLIng uguInsL one Iund
LIuL wus supporLed by LIe eIbow on LIe LubIe. WIuL IoIIowed wus uIso Luken us u wIImsIcuI InLro-
ducLory, InLended Lo be Iumorous; und uILIougI LIe ImmobIIILy oI IIs IeuLures, LIe weurIness oI
IIs Iooks, IIs puIIor conLrudIcLed LIe Ideu, yeL u responsIve IuugI run LIrougI LIe room, u sIIgIL
snIII, u LILLer Irom LIe IudIes.
"¡IrsLIy," suId Ie, "¡ wIII exIIbIL Lo you my LIunkIuIness Ior LIe courLesy und LIe IrIendsIIp,
boLI undeserved by me, ye Iuve voucIsuIed In LIuL ye ure come IILIer InLo LIIs pIuce, uIooL und
by wugon, sInce ouL oI LIe desoIuLIon oI LIIs reLreuL ¡ Iuve wrILLen Lo und cuIIed you, IIkewIse Iud
you wrILLen Lo und cuIIed by my IeuI IumuIus und specIuI IrIend, wIIcI yeL knoweLI Iow Lo puL
me In remembrunce oI our scIooI-duys Irom youLI up, sInce we dId sLudy LogeLIer uL HuIIu; buL
LIereoI, und oI Iow IIgI-mIndedness und ubomInucyon dId In LIuL sLudy uIreudy begIn, more
IereuILer In my SermonI."
Some oI LIem Iooked over uL me und smIrked, wIo ouL oI emoLIon wus unubIe Lo smIIe, IeeIIng
LIuL our deur mun dId noL Iook us LIougI Ie LIougIL oI me wILI uny sucI purLIcuIur Lenderness.
BuL jusL LIe IucL LIuL LIey suw Leurs In my eyes dIverLed mosL oI LIem; und ¡ remember wILI
dIsgusL LIuL uL LIIs poInL ¡eo ZInk IoudIy bIew IIs bIg nose, LIe buLL oI mosL oI IIs own jokes, Lo
curIcuLure my percepLIbIe emoLIon. HIs perIormunce eIIcILed more LILLers. AdrIun seemed noL Lo
noLIce.
"BeIore uugIL eIse," Ie wenL on, "musL ¡ pruy" (Ie suId "pIuy," correcLed IL, und LIen wenL buck
uguIn Lo IIs mIsLuke) "und beg you noL Lo Luke IL umIss or crosswIse LIuL our Iound PruesLIgIur,
Ie Is cuIIed Suso buL oI u LruLI Is numed PruesLIgIur, dId demeun IImseII so III und muke so
IeIIIsI u yuuIIng und buuIIng LIuL you Iuve Ior my suke undergone sLress und sLruIn. ¡L were
beLLer we Iud Iunded eucI oI you u wIIsLIe we Iuve pILcIed so IIgI LIuL onIy LIe Iound cun Ieur
IL und undersLund Irom uIur oII LIuL good und bIdden IrIends ure comIng, coveLIng Lo Ieur In
wIuL munner oI IIIe under IIs guurd ¡ Iuve IIved LIese muny yeurs."
TIere wus unoLIer poIILe IuugI uL IIs words ubouL LIe wIIsLIe, buL IL sounded sLruIned. He
conLInued, und suId:
"Now Iuve ¡ u IrIendIy CIrIsLIun requesL Lo you, LIuL ye muy noL Luke und receIve In evII purL
my IomIIy, buL LIuL ye wouId ruLIer consLrue IL uII Lo LIe besL, InusmucI us ¡ verIIy cruve Lo muke
unLo you, good und seIy ones, wIIcI II noL wILIouL sIn ure yeL buL ordInurIIy und LoIerubIy sInIuI,
wIereIore ¡ cordIuIIy despIse yeL IervIdIy envy you, u IuII conIessIon Irom one Iumun beIng Lo
unoLIer, Ior now LIe Ioure-gIusse sLundeLI beIore my eyes, LIe IInIsIIng wIereoI ¡ musL
cureIuIIy expecL: wIen LIe IusL gruIn runs LIrougI LIe nurrow neck und Ie wIII IeLcI me, Lo
wIom ¡ Iuve gIven myseIIe so deurIy wILI my proper bIood LIuL ¡ sIuII boLI body und souI
everIusLIngIy be IIs und IuII In IIs Iunds und IIs power wIen LIe gIuss Is run und LIe LIme, wIIcI
Is IIs wure, be IuIIy expIred."
AguIn Iere und LIere somebody LILLered or snIIIed; buL oLIers sIook LIeIr Ieuds und mude
dIsupprovIng noIses us LIougI LIe words Iud been In bud LusLe. Some oI LIe guesLs puL on u Iook
oI durk IorebodIng.
"Know, LIen," suId Ie, uL LIe LubIe, "ye good und godIy IoIk" (Ie suId "god und goodIy"), "wILI
your modesL sIns und resLIng In Goodes godness, Ior ¡ Iuve suppressed IL so Iong In me buL wIII
no Ionger IIde IL, LIuL uIreudy sInce my LwenLy-IIrsL yeur ¡ um wedded Lo SuLun und wILI due
knowIng oI perII, ouL oI weII-consIdered couruge, prIde, und presumpLIon becuuse ¡ wouId AvIn
gIory In LIIs worId, ¡ mude wILI IIm u bond und vow, so LIuL uII wIIcI durIng LIe Lerm oI Iour-
und-LwenLy yeurs ¡ brougIL IorLI, und wIIcI munkInd jusLIy regurded AvILI mIsLrusL, Is onIy
AvILI IIs IeIp come Lo puss und Is dIveI's work, InIused by LIe ungeI oI deuLI. ¡or ¡ weII LIougIL
LIuL Ie LIuL AvIII euL LIe kerneI musL cruck LIe nuL, und one musL Loduy Luke LIe dIveI Lo Iuvour,
becuuse Lo greuL enLerprIse und devIses one cun use und Iuve none oLIer suve IIm."
A sLruIned und puInIuI sLIIIness now reIgned In LIe room. OnIy u Iew IIsLened unperLurbed;
LIere Avere muny ruIsed eyebrows, und Iuces wIereIn one reud: "WIuL Is uII LIIs und wIuL Is IL
IeudIng up Lo?" ¡I Ie Iud buL once smIIed or puL on u Iuce Lo expIuIn IIs words us u mysLIIIcuLIon
goL-up by LIe urLIsL, muLLers AvouId Iuve been IuII-wuy mude good. BuL Ie dId noL, Ie suL LIere
In deud eurnesL. Some oI LIe guesLs Iooked InquIrIngIy uL me, us II Lo usk wIuL IL uII meunL und
Iow ¡ wouId uccounL Ior IL. PerIups ¡ ougIL Lo Iuve InLervened und broken up LIe meeLIng. BuL
on AvIuL preLexL? TIe onIy expIunuLIons were IumIIIuLIng und exLreme; ¡ IeIL LIuL ¡ musL IeL
LIIngs Luke LIeIr course, In LIe Iope LIuL Ie wouId soon begIn Lo pIuy und gIve us noLes InsLeud oI
words.
Never Iud ¡ IeIL more sLrongIy LIe udvunLuge LIuL musIc, wIIcI suys noLIIng und everyLIIng,
Ius over LIe unequIvocuI word; yes, LIe suvIng IrresponsIbIIILy oI uII urL, compured wILI LIe
bureness und buIdness oI unmedIuLed reveIuLIon. BuL Lo InLerrupL noL onIy wenL uguInsL my sense
oI reverence, buL uIso my very souI crIed ouL Lo Ieur, even LIougI umong LIose wIo IIsLened wILI
me onIy very Iew were worLIy. OnIy IoId ouL und IIsLen, ¡ suId In my IeurL Lo LIe oLIers, sInce
uILer uII Ie dId InvILe you us IIs IeIIow Iumun beIngs!
AILer u reIIecLIve puuse my IrIend wenL on:
"BeIIeve noL, deur broLIers und sIsLers, LIuL Ior LIe promIssIon und concIusIon oI LIe pucL u
crosse wuy In LIe wood, muny cIrcIes und Impure conjuruLIon were needed, sInce uIreudy SL.
TIomus LeucIeLI LIuL Ior IuIIIng uwuy LIere needs noL words wILI wIIcI InvocuLIon Lukes pIuce,
ruLIer uny ucL be enougI, even wILIouL express uIIegIunce. ¡or IL wus buL u buLLerIIy, u brIgIL
creum-IIcker, HeLueru EsmeruIdu, sIe cIurmed me wILI Ier LoucI, LIe mIIk-wILcI, und ¡
IoIIowed uILer Ier InLo LIe LwIIIL sIudowy IoIIuge LIuL Ier LrunspurenL nukedness IoveLI, und
wIere ¡ cuugIL Ier, wIo In IIIgIL Is IIke u wInd-bIown peLuI, cuugIL Ier und curessed wILI Ier,
deIyIng Ier wurnIng, so dId IL beIuII. ¡or us sIe cIurmed me, so sIe bewILcIed me und Iorguve
me In Iove - so ¡ wus InILIuLe, und LIe promIse conIIrmed."
¡ sLurLed, Ior now cume u voIce Irom LIe uudIence: IL cume Irom DunIeI zur HoIe LIe poeL, In
IIs prIesLIy gurmenL, poundIng wILI IIs IeeL und IummerIng ouL IIs words:
"¡L Is beuuLIIuI. ¡L Ius beuuLy. Very good, oI, very good, one muy suy so!"
Some peopIe IIssed. ¡ Loo Lurned dIsupprovIngIy Lowurds LIe speuker, LIougI prIvuLeIy ¡ wus
gruLeIuI Ior wIuL Ie suId. HIs words were sIIIy enougI; buL LIey cIussIIIed wIuL we were IeurIng,
puL IL under u sooLIIng und recognIzed rubrIc, numeIy LIe uesLIeLIc, wIIcI, InuppIIcubIe us LIuL
wus und Iowever mucI IL ungered me, dId muke me IeeI eusIer. ¡or IL seemed Lo me LIuL u sorL oI
reIIeved "AI-I!" wenL LIrougI LIe uudIence, und one Iudy, RudbrucI LIe pubIIsIer's wIIe, wus
encouruged by zur HoIe's words Lo suy:
"One LIInks one Is IeurIng poeLry."
AIus, one dId noL LIInk so Ior Iong! TIIs uesLIeLIc InLerpreLuLIon, Iowever convenIenLIy
oIIered, wus noL LenubIe. WIuL we Ieurd Iud noLIIng uL uII In common wILI zur HoIe LIe poeL's
LuII LomIooIerIes ubouL obedIence, vIoIence, bIood, und worId-pIunder. TIIs wus deud sober
eurnesL, u conIessIon, LIe LruLI, Lo IIsLen Lo wIIcI u mun In exLreme ugony oI souI Iud cuIIed Lo-
geLIer IIs IeIIow-men - un ucL oI IunLusLIc good IuILI, moreover, Ior one's IeIIow-men ure noL
meunL or mude Lo Iuce sucI LruLI oLIerwIse LIun wILI coId sIIvers und wILI LIe concIusIon LIuL,
wIen IL wus no Ionger possIbIe Lo regurd IL us poeLry, LIey very soon ununImousIy und uudIbIy
cume Lo ubouL IL.
¡L dId noL Iook us LIougI LIose InLerpoIuLIons Iud reucIed our IosL uL uII. HIs LIougILs,
wIenever Ie puused In IIs uddress, obvIousIy mude IIm InuccessIbIe Lo LIem.
"BuL onIy murk," Ie resumed, "IeurLIIy respecLed IovIng IrIends, LIuL you Iuve Lo do wILI u
god-Iorsuken und despuIrIng mun, wIose curcuss beIongeLI noL In consecruLe eurLI, umong
CIrIsLIuns deud In LIe IuILI, buL on LIe Iorse-dung wILI LIe cuduvers oI deud unImuIs. On LIe
bIer, ¡ suy Lo you beIoreIund, you wIII uIwuys IInd IL IyIng on ILs Iuce, und LIougI you Lurn IL IIve
LImes you wIII ever IInd IL on ILs Iuce. ¡or Iong beIore ¡ duIIIed wILI LIe poIson buLLerIIy, my
Irowurd souI In IIgI mInd und urrogunce wus on LIe wuy Lo SuLun LIougI my gouI sLood In
doubL; und Irom youLI up ¡ worked Lowurds IIm, us you musL know, Indeed, LIuL mun Is mude
Ior IeII or bIessedness, mude und IoredesLIned, und ¡ wus born Ior IeII. So dId ¡ Ieed my
urrogunce wILI sugur, sLudyIng dIvInILy uL HuIIu AcudemIe, yeL noL Ior LIe servIce oI God buL LIe
oLIer, und my sLudy oI dIvInILy wus secreLIy uIreudy LIe begInnIng oI LIe bond und LIe dIsguIsed
move noL BIbIewurds, buL Lo IIm, Lo IIm LIe greuL reIIgIosus. ¡or wIo cun IoId LIuL wIII uwuy,
und 'Lwus buL u sIorL sLep Irom LIe dIvInILy scIooI over Lo ¡eIpzIg und Lo musIc, LIuL ¡ soIeIy und
enLIreIy LIen busIed myseII wILI IIgurIs, cIurucLerIbus, IormIs con-juruLIonum, und wIuL oLIer so
ever ure LIe numes oI InvocuLIons und mugIc.
"So my desperuLe IeurL IuLI LrIIIed uII uwuy. ¡ Iud ¡ suppose u good Lowurd wIL und gIILs
gruLIousIy gIven me Irom ubove wIIcI ¡ couId Iuve used In uII Ionour und modesLy, buL IeIL uII-
Loo weII: IL Is LIe LIme wIen uprIgILIy und In pIous sober wIse, nuugIL oI work Is Lo be wrougIL
und urL grown unpossIbIe wILIouL LIe dIveI's IeIp und IIres oI IeII under LIe cuuIdron... Yeu
verIIy, deur muLes, LIuL urL Is sLuck und grown Loo Ieuvy und scorneLI ILseIIe und God's poor mun
knoweLI no Ionger wIere Lo Lurn In IIs sore pIIgIL, LIuL Is beIIke LIe IuuIL In LIe LImes. BuL un
one InvILe LIe dIveI us guesL, Lo puss beyond uII LIIs und geL Lo LIe breukLIrougI, Ie cIurgeLI IIs
souI und LukeLI LIe guIIL oI LIe LIme upon IIs own sIouIders, so LIuL Ie Is dumned. ¡or IL IuLI
been suId 'Be sober, und wuLcI!' BuL LIuL Is noL LIe uIIuIr oI some; ruLIer, InsLeud oI sIrewdIy
concernIng LIemseIves wILI wIuL Is needIuI upon eurLI LIuL IL muy be beLLer LIere, und dIscreeLIy
doIng IL, LIuL umong men sucI order sIuII be sLubIIsIed LIuL uguIn Ior LIe beuuLIIuI work IIvIng
soII und Lrue Iurmony be prepured, mun pIuyeLI LIe LruunL und breukeLI ouL In IeIIIsI
drunkenness; so gIveLI Ie IIs souI LIereLo und comeLI umong LIe currIon.
"So, courLeous und beIoved broLIers und sIsLers, Iuve ¡ borne me, und IeL nIgromunLIu,
curmInu, IncunLuLIo, veneIIcIum, und wIuL numes so ever be uII my uIm und sLrIvIng. And ¡ soon
cume Lo LIe speecI oI LIuL one, LIe muke-buLe, LIe IoseI, In LIe ¡LuIIun room, Iuve IeId mucI
purIey wILI IIm, und Ie Iud mucI Lo LeII me oI LIe quuIILy, IundumenL, und subsLunce oI IeII.
SoId me LIme Loo, Iour und LwenLy yeurs, boundIess Lo LIe eye, und promIsed Loo greuL LIIngs und
mucI IIre under LIe cuuIdron, Lo LIe end LIuL noL wILIsLundIng ¡ sIouId be cupubIe oI LIe work
uILIougI IL were Loo Iurd und my Ieud Loo sIrewd und mockIng LIereLo. OnIy cerLes ¡ sIouId
suIIer LIe knIves oI puIn LIereIor, even In LIe LIme, us LIe IILLIe seu-muId suIIered LIem In Ier
Iegs, wIIcI wus my sIsLer und sweeL brIde, und numed HypIIuILu. ¡or Ie brougIL Ier me Lo my
bed us my bed-sIsLer LIuL ¡ gun woo Ier und Ioved Ier ever more, wIeLIer sIe cume Lo me wILI
LIe IIsIes LuII or wILI Iegs. OILenLImes Indeed sIe cume wILI LIe LuII, Ior LIe puIns sIe suIIered us
wILI knIves In LIe Iegs ouLweIgIed Ier IusL, und ¡ Iud mucI IeeIIng Ior LIe wIse wIereIn Ier
Lender body wenL over so sweeLIy InLo LIe scuIy LuII. BuL IIgIer wus my deIIgIL even so In LIe
pure Iumun Iorm und so Ior my purL ¡ Iud greuLer IusL wIen sIe cume Lo me In Iegs."
TIere wus u sLIr In LIe room. Somebody wus IeuvIng, LIe oId ScIIugInIuuIen puIr IL wus: LIey
goL up Irom our LubIe und IookIng neILIer rIgIL nor IeIL, on LIpLoe, LIe Iusbund guIdIng IIs
spouse by LIe eIbow pussed LIrougI LIe seuLed groups und ouL uL LIe door. NoL Lwo mInuLes
wenL by beIore LIe noIse und LIe LIrobbIng oI LIeIr engIne were Ieurd, sLurLIng up In LIe yurd.
TIey were drIvIng uwuy.
Muny oI LIe uudIence were upseL by LIIs, Ior now LIey Iud IosL LIeIr meuns oI conveyunce Lo
LIe sLuLIon. BuL LIere wus no percepLIbIe IncIInuLIon umong LIe guesLs Lo IoIIow LIe ScIIugIn-
IuuIens' exumpIe. TIey uII suL speIIbound, und wIen quIeL wus resLored ouLsIde, zur HoIe ruIsed
IIs voIce uguIn In IIs dogmuLIc "BeuuLIIuI! AI, Indeed yes, IL Is beuuLIIuI."
¡ Loo wus jusL on LIe poInL oI openIng my mouLI, Lo beg our IrIend Lo muke un end oI LIe
InLroducLIon und pIuy Lo us Irom LIe work ILseII, wIen Ie, unuIIecLed by LIe IncIdenL, conLInued
IIs uddress:
"TIereupon dId HypIIuILu geL wILI cIIId und uccounLed me u IILLIe son, Lo wIom wILI my
wIoIe souI ¡ cIung, u IuIIowed IILLIe Iud, IoveIIer LIun Is ever born, und us LIougI come IILIer
Irom uIur und oI oId sLump. BuL sInce LIe cIIId wus IIesI und bIood und IL wus orduIned LIuL ¡
mIgIL Iove no Iumun beIng, Ie sIew IL, mercIIess, und used LIereLo mIne own proper eyes. ¡or
you musL know LIuL wIen u souI Is druwn vIoIenLIy Lo evII, ILs guze Is venomous und IIke Lo u
busIIIsk, und cIIeIIy Ior cIIIdren. So LIIs IILLIe son IuII oI sweeL suyIngs wenL Irom me Ience, In
AugsL-monLI, LIougI ¡ Iud LIougIL unon sucI Lenderness mIgIL be IeL. ¡ Iud weII LIougIL beIore
LIuL ¡, us devII's dIscIpIe, mIgIL Iove In IIesI und bIood wIuL wus noL IemuIe, buL Ie wooed me Ior
my LIou In boundIess conIIdence, unLII ¡ gruunLed IL. Hence ¡ musL sIuy IIm Loo, und senL IIm Lo
IIs deuLI by Iorce und order. ¡or LIe mugIsLeruIus Iud murked LIuL ¡ wus mInded Lo murry me
und wus exceedIng wroLI, sILI In LIe wedded sLuLe Ie suw uposLusy Irom IIm, und u LrIck Ior
uLonemenL. So Ie Iorced me Lo use precIseIy LIIs InLenL, LIuL ¡ coIdIy murdered LIe LrusLIng one
und wIII Iuve conIessed IL Loduy und Iere beIore you uII, LIuL ¡ sIL beIore you uIso us murLIerer."
AnoLIer group oI guesLs IeIL LIe room uL LIIs poInL: IILLIe HeImuL ¡nsLILorIs goL up In sIIenL
proLesL, wIILe, IIs underIIp druwn ucross IIs LeeLI. So dId IIs IrIends LIe ucudemy porLruILIsL
NoLLe-boIm, und IIs murkedIy bourgeoIs IIgI-cIesLed wIIe, wIom we used Lo cuII "LIe muLernuI
bosom." TIey uII wenL ouL In sIIence. BuL ouLsIde LIey Iud probubIy noL IeId LIeIr Longues; Ior
sIorLIy uILerwurds ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII cume quIeLIy In, In Ier upron, wILI Ier smooLI grey Ieud,
und sLood neur LIe door, wILI IoIded Iunds. SIe IIsLened us AdrIun suId:
"BuL wIuLever sInner wus ¡, ye IrIends, u murLIerer, enemy Lo mun, gIven Lo dIveIIsI
concubInuge, yeL usIde Irom uII LIuL ¡ Iuve ever busIed myseII us u worker und dId never urresL"
(uguIn Ie seemed Lo beLIInk und correcL IImseII, buL wenL buck Lo "urresL" uguIn), "urresL nor
rIsL, buL LoIIed und moIIed und produced Iurd LIIngs, uccordIng Lo LIe word oI LIe uposLIe: 'WIo
seeks Iurd LIIngs, Lo IIm IL Is Iurd.' ¡or us God doLI noLIIng greuL LIrougI us, wILIouL our
uncLIon, so neILIer LIe oLIer. OnIy LIe sIume und LIe InLeIIecLuuI mockery und wIuL In LIe LIme
wus uguInsL LIe work, LIuL Ie kepL usIde, LIe resIdue ¡ Iud Lo do myseII, even uIso uILer sLrunge
InIusIons. ¡or LIere wus oILenLImes Ieurd by me uII munner oI InsLrumenL: un orgun or posILIve,
more deIecLubIe LIen Iurpes, IuLes, IIddIes, Lrombones, cIurIgoIds, cILerns, wuIgILs, unomes,
corneLs, und IornpIpes, Iour oI eucI, LIuL ¡ Iud LIougIL myseII In Ieuven Iud ¡ noL known
dIIIerenLIy. MucI oI IL ¡ wroLe down. OILen Loo, cerLuIn cIIIdren were wILI me In LIe room, boys
und gIrIs wIo sung Lo me u moLeL Irom sIeeLs oI noLes, smIIed u Iunny IILLIe knowIng smIIe, und
excIunged LIeIr gIunces. TIey were mosL preLLy cIIIdren. SomeLImes LIeIr IuIr wus IIILed us
LIougI Irom IoL uIr und LIey smooLIed IL uguIn wILI LIeIr preLLy Iunds, LIuL were dImpIed und
Iud IILLIe rubIes on LIem. OuL oI LIeIr nosLrIIs curIed someLImes IILLIe yeIIow worms, cruwIed
down Lo LIeIr breusLs und dIsuppeured - "
TIese words were LIe sIgnuI Ior unoLIer group oI IIsLeners Lo Ieuve LIe room: LIe scIoIurs
UnruIe, VogIer, und HoIzscIuIer, one oI wIom ¡ suw press LIe buse oI IIs puIms Lo IIs LempIes
us Ie wenL ouL. BuL SIxLus KrIdwIss, uL wIose Iouse LIey IeId LIeIr dIscussIons, kepL IIs pIuce,
IookIng mucI excILed. Even uILer LIese Iud gone, LIere remuIned some LwenLy persons, LIougI
muny oI LIem Iud rIsen und seemed reudy Lo IIee. ¡eo ZInk Iud IIs eyebrows ruIsed In muIIcIous
unLIcIpuLIon, suyIng "Jessus, nu!" jusL us Ie dId wIen Ie wus pronouncIng on somebody's
puInLIng. A IILLIe Lroop oI women Iud guLIered round ¡everküIn us LIougI Lo proLecL IIm:
KunIgunde RosensLIeI, MeLu Nuckedey, JeuneLLe ScIeurI - LIese LIree. EIse ScIweIgesLIII IeId
uIooI.
And we Ieurd:
"So LIe EvII One IuLI sLrengLIened IIs words In good IuILI LIrougI Iour-und-LwenLy yeurs und
uII Is IInIsIed up LIII LIe IusL, wILI murLIer und IecIery Iuve ¡ brougIL IL Lo IuIIness und perIups
LIrougI Gruce good cun come oI wIuL wus creuLe In evII, ¡ know noL. MuyIup Lo God IL seemeLI ¡
sougIL LIe Iurd und Iuboured mIgIL und muIn, perIups, perIups IL wIII be Lo my credIL LIuL ¡
uppIIed myseII und obsLInuLeIy IInIsIed uII - buL ¡ cunnoL suy und Iuve noL couruge Lo Iope Ior
IL. My sIn Is greuLer LIun LIuL IL cun be IorgIven me, und ¡ Iuve ruIsed IL Lo ILs IeIgIL, Ior my Ieud
specuIuLed LIuL LIe conLrILe unbeIIeI In LIe possIbIIILy oI Gruce und purdon mIgIL be LIe mosL
InLrIguIng oI uII Ior LIe EverIusLIng Goodness, wIere yeL ¡ see LIuL sucI ImpudenL cuIcuIuLIon
mukes compussIon unpossIbIe. YeL busIng upon LIuL ¡ wenL IurLIer In specuIuLIon und reckoned
LIuL LIIs IusL depruvILy musL be LIe uLLermosL spur Ior Goodness Lo dIspIuy ILs everIusLIngness.
And so LIen, LIuL ¡ currIed on un uLrocIous compeLILIon wILI LIe Goodness ubove, wIIcI were
more InexIuusLIbIe, IL or my specuIuLIon - so ye see LIuL ¡ um dumned, und LIere Is no pILy Ior
me Ior LIuL ¡ desLroy uII und every beIoreIund by specuIuLIon.
"BuL sInce my LIme Is uL un end, wIIcI uIoreLIme ¡ bougIL wILI my souI, ¡ Iuve summoned you
Lo me beIore my end, courLeous und IovIng breLIren und sIsLers, Lo LIe end LIuL my gIosLIy de-
purLure muy noL be IIdden Irom you. ¡ beseecI you Iereupon, ye wouId IoId me In kIndIy
remembrunce, uIso oLIers wIom percIunce Lo InvILe ¡ IorguL, wILI IrIendIy commenduLIons Lo
suIuLe und noL Lo mIsdeum unyLIIng done by me. AII LIIs bespoke und beknown, wIII ¡ now Lo
Luke Ieuve Lo pIuy you u IILLIe ouL oI LIe consLrucLIon wIIcI ¡ Ieurd Irom LIe IoveIy InsLrumenL oI
SuLun und wIIcI In purL LIe knowIng cIIIdren sung Lo me."
He sLood up, puIe us deuLI.
"TIIs mun," In LIe sLIIIness one Ieurd LIe voIce oI Dr. KrunIcI, wIeezIng yeL cIeurIy urLIcuIuLe:
"TIIs mun Is mud. TIere Ius been Ior u Iong LIme no doubL oI IL, und IL Is mosL regreLLubIe LIuL In
our cIrcIe LIe proIessIon oI uIIenIsL Is noL represenLed. ¡, us u numIsmuLIsL, IeeI myseII enLIreIy
IncompeLenL In LIIs sILuuLIon."
WILI LIuL Ie Loo wenL uwuy.
¡everküIn, surrounded by LIe women, ScIIIdknupp, HeIene, und myseII, Iud suL down uL LIe
brown squure pIuno und IIuLLened LIe puges oI LIe score wILI IIs rIgIL Iund. We suw Leurs run
down IIs cIeeks und IuII on LIe keybourd, weLLIng IL, us Ie uLLucked LIe keys In u sLrongIy
dIssonunL cIord. AL LIe sume LIme Ie opened IIs mouLI us LIougI Lo sIng, buL onIy u wuII wIIcI
wIII rIng Ior ever In my eurs broke Irom IIs IIps. He spreud ouL IIs urms, bendIng over LIe
InsLrumenL und seemIng ubouL Lo embruce IL, wIen suddenIy, us LIougI smILLen by u bIow, Ie IeII
sIde-wIse Irom IIs seuL und Lo LIe IIoor.
¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII, LIougI sIe Iud sLood IurLIer oII, wus by IIm sooner LIun LIe resL oI us,
wIo, ¡ know noL wIy, wuvered u second beIore we moved. SIe IIILed LIe Ieud oI LIe unconscIous
mun und IoIdIng IIm In Ier moLIerIy urms sIe crIed Lo LIose sLIII In LIe room, sLundIng unIgI
und gupIng: "¡eL me see LIe bucks oI ye, uII und sundry! CILy IoIk uII, wILI noL u smILcI oI
undersLundIng, und LIere's need oI LIuL Iere! TuIked ubouL LI'everIusLIng mercy, poor souI, ¡
don'L know II IL goes 's Iur's LIuL, buL Iumun undersLundIng, beIIeve me, LIuL doos!"

IPILOGLI
¡L Is IInIsIed. An oId mun, benL, weII-nIgI broken by LIe Iorrors oI LIe LImes In wIIcI Ie wroLe
und LIose wIIcI were LIe burden oI IIs wrILIng, Iooks wILI dubIous suLIsIucLIon on LIe IIgI sLuck
oI LeemIng puper wIIcI Is LIe work oI IIs IndusLry, LIe producL oI LIese yeurs IIIIed Lo runnIng
over wILI pusL memorIes und presenL evenLs. A Lusk Ius been musLered, Ior wIIcI by nuLure ¡
wus noL LIe mun, Lo wIIcI ¡ wus noL born, buL ruLIer cuIIed by Iove und IoyuILy - und by my
sLuLus us eyewILness. WIuL LIese cun uccompIIsI, wIuL devoLIon cun do, LIuL Ius been done - ¡
musL needs be conLenL.
WIen ¡ begun wrILIng down LIese memorIes, LIe bIogrupIy oI AdrIun ¡everküIn, LIere exIsLed
wILI reIerence Lo ILs uuLIor us mucI us Lo LIe urL oI ILs subjecL noL LIe IuInLesL prospecL oI ILs
pubIIcuLIon. BuL now LIuL LIe monsLrous nuLIonuI perversIon wIIcI LIen IeId LIe ConLInenL, und
more LIun LIe ConLInenL, In ILs grIp, Ius ceIebruLed ILs orgIes down Lo LIe bILLer end; now LIuL ILs
prIme movers Iuve Iud LIemseIves poIsoned by LIeIr pIysIcIuns, drencIed wILI peLroI und seL
on IIre, LIuL noLIIng oI LIem mIgIL remuIn - now, ¡ suy, IL mIgIL be possIbIe Lo LIInk oI LIe
pubIIcuLIon oI my Iubour oI Iove. BuL LIose evII men wIIIed LIuL Germuny be desLroyed down Lo
LIe ground; und one dures noL Iope IL couId very soon be cupubIe oI uny sorL oI cuILuruI ucLIvILy,
even LIe prInLIng oI u book. ¡n ucLuuI IucL ¡ Iuve someLImes pondered wuys und meuns oI
sendIng LIese puges Lo AmerIcu, In order LIuL LIey mIgIL IIrsL be IuId beIore LIe pubIIc In un
EngIIsI LrunsIuLIon. To me IL seems us LIougI LIIs mIgIL noL run quILe counLer Lo LIe wIsIes oI
my depurLed IrIend. True, LIere comes LIe LIougIL oI LIe essenLIuIIy IoreIgn ImpressIon my book
musL muke In LIuL cuILuruI cIImuLe und coupIed wILI IL LIe dIsmuyIng prospecL LIuL ILs
LrunsIuLIon InLo EngIIsI musL Lurn ouL, uL IeusL In some uII Loo rudIcuIIy Germun purLs, Lo be un
ImpossIbIIILy.
WIuL ¡ IurLIer Ioresee Is LIe IeeIIng oI empLIness wIIcI wIII be my IoL wIen uILer u brIeI reporL
on LIe cIosIng scenes oI LIe greuL composer's IIIe ¡ sIuII Iuve rendered my uccounL und druwn IL
Lo u cIose. TIe work on IL, IurrowIng und consumIng us IL Ius been, ¡ sIuII mIss. As LIe reguIur
perIormunce oI u Lusk IL kepL me busy und IIIIed LIe yeurs wIIcI wouId Iuve been sLIII Iurder Lo
beur In IdIeness. ¡ now Iook ubouL me Ior un ucLIvILy wIIcI couId In IuLure repIuce IL. And uL IIrsL
¡ Iook In vuIn. ¡L Is Lrue, LIe burrIers LIuL eIeven yeurs ugo kepL me Irom prucLIsIng my proIessIon
Iuve now IuIIen Lo LIe guns oI IIsLory. Germuny Is Iree, In so Iur us one muy uppIy LIe word Lo u
Iund prosLruLe und proscrIbed. ¡L muy be LIuL soon noLIIng wIII sLund In LIe wuy oI my reLurn Lo
my LeucIIng. MonsIgnor HInLerpIorLner Ius uIreudy Luken occusIon Lo reIer Lo LIe possIbIIILy.
SIuII ¡ once more Impress upon LIe IeurLs oI my Lop-Iorm pupIIs In LIe IumunILIes LIe cuILuruI
Ideus In wIIcI reverence Ior LIe deILIes oI LIe depLIs bIends wILI LIe cIvIIIzed cuIL oI OIympIc
reuson und cIurILy, Lo muke Ior u unILy In uprIgILness? BuL uI, ¡ Ieur LIuL In LIIs suvuge decude u
generuLIon oI youLI Ius grown up wIIcI undersLunds my Iunguuge us IILLIe us ¡ LIeIrs. ¡ Ieur LIe
youLI oI my Iund Ius become Loo sLrunge Lo me Ior me Lo be LIeIr LeucIer sLIII. And more: Ger-
muny IerseII, LIe unIuppy nuLIon, Is sLrunge Lo me, uLLerIy sLrunge und LIuL becuuse, convInced
oI Ier uwIuI end, ¡ drew buck Irom Ier sIns und IId Irom LIem In my secIusIon. MusL ¡ noL usk
myseII wIeLIer or noL ¡ dId rIgIL? And uguIn: dId ¡ ucLuuIIy do IL? ¡ Iuve cIung Lo one mun, one
suIIerIng, sIgnIIIcunL Iumun beIng, cIung unLo deuLI; und ¡ Iuve depIcLed IIs IIIe, wIIcI never
ceused Lo IIII me wILI Iove und grIeI. To me IL seems us LIougI LIIs IoyuILy mIgIL uLone Ior my
IuvIng IIed In Iorror Irom my counLry's guIIL.
¯ ¯ ¯
Reverence IorbIds me Lo descrIbe AdrIun's condILIon wIen Ie cume Lo IImseII uILer LIe LweIve
Iours' unconscIousness InLo wIIcI LIe puruIyLIc sLroke uL LIe pIuno Iud pIunged IIm. No, noL Lo
IImseII dId Ie come; ruLIer Ie Iound IImseII us u sLrunger, wIo wus onIy LIe burnL-ouL Iusk oI
IIs personuIILy, IuvIng uL boLLom noLIIng Lo do wILI IIm wIo Iud been cuIIed AdrIun ¡everküIn.
AILer uII, LIe word "demenLIu" orIgInuIIy meunL noLIIng eIse LIun LIIs uberruLIon Irom seII, seII-
uIIenuLIon.
¡ wIII suy LIIs mucI: LIuL Ie dId noL remuIn In PIeIIIerIng. RüdIger ScIIIdknupp und ¡ ussumed
LIe Iurd duLy oI conveyIng LIe puLIenL, LreuLed by Dr. KurbIs wILI seduLIves Ior LIe journey, Lo
MunIcI und u prIvuLe IospILuI Ior nervous dIseuses, In NympIenburg, dIrecLed by Dr. von
HossIIn. TIere AdrIun remuIned Ior LIree monLIs. TIe prognosIs oI LIe specIuIIsL sLuLed wILIouL
reservuLIon LIuL LIIs wus u dIseuse oI LIe bruIn wIIcI couId onIy run ILs course. BuL In LIe
meusure LIuL IL dId so, IL wouId puss LIrougI LIe presenL cruss munIIesLuLIons und wILI suILubIe
LreuLmenL urrIve uL quIeLer, LIougI unIorLunuLeIy noL more IopeIuI pIuses. TIIs InIormuLIon IL
wus wIIcI uILer some consuILuLIon deLermIned ScIIIdknupp und myseII Lo deIuy our
unnouncemenL oI LIe cuLusLropIe Lo AdrIun's moLIer, EIsbeLI ¡everküIn uL BucIeI. ¡L wus
cerLuIn LIuL on LIe receIpL oI sucI news sIe wouId IusLen Lo IIm; und II more cuImness mIgIL be
Ioped Ior, IL seemed no more LIun Iumun Lo spure Ier LIe InLoIerubIe, sIuLLerIng specLucIe oI
Ier cIIId beIore LIuL wus In uny meusure Improved by InsLILuLIonuI LreuLmenL.
Her cIIId! ¡or LIuL und noLIIng more wus AdrIun ¡everküIn uguIn. SIe cume one duy, LIe oId
moLIer, wIen LIe yeur wus pussIng InLo uuLumn. SIe cume Lo PIeIIIerIng, Lo Luke IIm buck Lo IIs
TIurIngIun Iome, LIe scene oI IIs cIIIdIood, Lo wIIcI IIs ouLwurd Irume oI IIIe Iud so Iong
sLood In sucI sInguIur correspondence. SIe cume Lo u IeIpIess InIunL, wIo Iud no Ionger uny
memory oI IIs munIood's proud IIIgIL, or uL mosL some very durk und obscure vIsIon burIed In
IIs depLIs; wIo cIung Lo Ier skIrLs us oI yore, und wIom us In eurIy duys sIe musL - or mIgIL -
Lend und coux und reprove Ior beIng "nuugILy." AnyLIIng more IeurIuIIy LoucIIng or IumenLubIe
cunnoL be ImugIned LIun Lo see u Iree spIrIL, once boId und deIIunL, once sourIng In u gIddy urc
ubove un usLonIsIed worId, now creepIng broken buck Lo IIs moLIer's urms. BuL my convIcLIon,
resLIng on unequIvocuI evIdence, Is LIuL LIe muLernuI experIences Irom so LrugIc und wreLcIed u
reLurn, In uII ILs grIeI, some uppeusemenL us weII. TIe ¡curus-IIIgIL oI LIe Iero son, LIe sLeep
uscenL oI LIe muIe escuped Irom Ier ouLgrown cure, Is Lo u moLIer un error boLI sInIuI und
IncompreIensIbIe: In Ier IeurL, wILI secreL unger sIe Ieurs LIe uusLere, esLrungIng words:
"Womun, wIuL Iuve ¡ Lo do wILI LIee?" And wIen Ie IuIIs und Is sIuLLered sIe Lukes IIm buck,
LIe "poor, deur cIIId," Lo Ier bosom, LIInkIng noLIIng eIse LIun LIuL Ie wouId Iuve done beLLer
never Lo Iuve gone uwuy.
¡ Iuve reuson Lo beIIeve LIuL wILIIn LIe bIuckness oI IIs spIrIL's nIgIL AdrIun IeIL u Iorror oI
LIIs soIL IumIIIuLIon; LIuL un InsLIncLIve repuIsIon, u remnunL oI IIs prIde wus sLIII uIIve, beIore
Ie surrendered wILI gIoomy reIIsI Lo LIe comIorL wIIcI un exIuusLed spIrIL musL uILer uII IInd In
compIeLe menLuI ubdIcuLIon. EvIdence oI LIIs compuIsIve rebeIIIon und oI urge Lo IIIgIL Irom LIe
muLernuI Is suppIIed, uL IeusL In purL, by LIe uLLempL uL suIcIde wIIcI Ie mude wIen we Iud
succeeded In mukIng IIm undersLund LIuL EIsbeLI ¡everküIn Iud been LoId oI IIs IIIness und
wus on Ier wuy Lo IIm. WIuL Iuppened wus LIIs:
AILer LIree monLIs' LreuLmenL In LIe von HossIIn esLubIIsImenL, wIere ¡ wus uIIowed Lo see
my IrIend onIy seIdom und uIwuys onIy Ior u Iew mInuLes, Ie ucIIeved u degree oI composure - ¡
do noL suy ImprovemenL - wIIcI enubIed LIe pIysIcIun Lo consenL Lo prIvuLe cure In quIeL
PIeIIIerIng. ¡InuncIuI reusons Loo spoke Ior LIIs course. And so once more LIe puLIenL's IumIIIur
surroundIngs receIved IIm. AL IIrsL Ie conLInued under LIe supervIsIon oI LIe uLLendunL wIo Iud
brougIL IIm buck. BuL IIs beIuvIour seemed Lo wurrunL LIe removuI oI LIIs precuuLIon, und Ior
LIe LIme beIng Ie wus uLLended by LIe IumIIy, purLIcuIurIy by ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII. Gereon Iud
brougIL u cupubIe duugILer-In-Iuw InLo LIe Iouse (CIemenLIne Iud become LIe wIIe oI LIe
WuIdsIuL sLuLIon-musLer) und LIe moLIer wus now reLIred, wILI IeIsure Lo devoLe Ier Iumun
IeeIIng Lo Ier Iodger, wIo uILer uII LIese yeurs Iud become, LIougI so mucI ubove Ier,
someLIIng IIke Ier son. He LrusLed Ier us Ie dId no one eIse. To sIL Iund In Iund wILI Ier In LIe
AbboL's room or In LIe gurden beIInd LIe Iouse wus obvIousIy mosL sooLIIng Lo IIm. ¡ Iound
IIm LIus wIen ¡ wenL Ior LIe IIrsL LIme Lo PIeIIIerIng. TIe Iook Ie dIrecLed upon me us ¡
upproucIed Iud someLIIng vIoIenL und unbuIunced ubouL IL, quIckIy resoIved, Lo my greuL grIeI,
In gIoomy repugnunce. PerIups Ie recognIzed In me LIe compunIon oI IIs sune exIsLence, uII
memory oI wIIcI Ie rejecLed. On u cuuLIous IInL Irom ¡ruu EIse LIuL Ie sIouId speuk "nIceIy" Lo
me, IIs Iuce onIy durkened sLIII more, ILs expressIon wus even menucIng. TIere wus noLIIng Ior
me Lo do suve In sudness Lo wILIdruw.
TIe momenL Iud now come Lo compose LIe IeLLer wIIcI sIouId us genLIy us possIbIe InIorm
IIs moLIer oI LIe IucLs. To deIuy Ionger wouId Iuve been unIuIr Lo Ier, und LIe unswerIng
LeIegrum unnouncIng Ier urrIvuI IoIIowed wILIouL u duy's deIuy. As ¡ suId, AdrIun Iud been LoId;
buL IL wus Iurd Lo know II Ie Iud grusped LIe news. An Iour IuLer, Iowever, wIen Ie wus
supposed Lo be usIeep, Ie escuped unnoLIced Irom LIe Iouse. Gereon und u IurmIund cume up
wILI IIm by LIe KIummerweIIer; Ie Iud removed IIs ouLer cIoLIIng und wus sLundIng up Lo IIs
neck wIere LIe wuLer deepened so ubrupLIy Irom LIe bunk. He wus jusL dIsuppeurIng wIen LIe
mun pIunged uILer IIm und brougIL IIm ouL. As LIey were brIngIng IIm buck Lo LIe Iouse Ie
spoke repeuLedIy oI LIe coIdness oI LIe wuLer und udded LIuL IL wus very Iurd Lo drown oneseII In
u pond one Iud buLIed und swum In oILen us u boy. BuL LIuL Ie Iud never done In LIe KIummer
pooI, onIy In ILs counLerpurL uL BucIeI, LIe Cow TrougI.
Mç çuess, wIIcI umounLs clmost to certcintç, 'is thct u mçstic Ideu oI suIvuLIon wus beIInd
IIs IrusLruLed uLLempL Lo escupe. TIe Ideu Is IumIIIur Lo LIe oIder LIeoIogy und In purLIcuIur Lo
eurIy ProLesLunLIsm: numeIy, LIuL LIose wIo Iud Invoked LIe DevII couId suve LIeIr souIs by
"yIeIdIng LIeIr bodIes." Very IIkeIy AdrIun ucLed In LIIs sense, umong oLIers, und God uIone
knows wIeLIer we dId rIgIL In noL IeLLIng IIm so ucL up Lo LIe end. NoL uII LIuL Iuppens In
mudness Is LIereIore sImpIy Lo be prevenLed, und LIe obIIguLIon Lo preserve IIIe wus In LIIs cuse
obeyed In scurceIy unyone's InLeresL suve LIe moLIer's - Ior undoubLedIy LIe muLernuI wouId
preIer un IrresponsIbIe son Lo u deud one.
SIe cume, JonuLIun ¡everküIn's brown-eyed wIdow wILI LIe smooLI wIILe Ieud, benL on
LukIng Ier IosL und errIng son buck InLo cIIIdIood. WIen LIey meL, AdrIun LrembIed Ior u Iong
LIme, resLIng IIs Ieud on LIe breusL oI LIe womun Ie cuIIed Mutter und Du. ¡ruu ScIweIgesLIII,
wIo kepL ouL oI LIe wuy, Ie cuIIed Mutter und Sie. EIsbeLI spoke Lo Ier son, In LIe sLIII
meIodIous voIce wIIcI uII Ier IIIe Iong sIe Iud reIruIned Irom song. BuL durIng LIe journey
norLI InLo cenLruI Germuny, uccompunIed IorLunuLeIy by LIe uLLendunL IumIIIur Lo AdrIun, LIere
cume wILIouL wurnIng or occusIon un ouLbursL oI ruge uguInsL IIs moLIer, un unexpecLed seIzure,
wIIcI obIIged ¡ruu ¡everküIn Lo reLIre Lo unoLIer compurLmenL Ior LIe remuInder, uImosL IuII
oI LIe journey, IeuvIng LIe puLIenL uIone wILI IIs uLLendunL.
¡L wus un IsoIuLed occurrence. NoLIIng oI LIe sorL Iuppened uguIn. WIen sIe upproucIed IIm
us LIey urrIved In WeIssenIeIs Ie joIned Ier wILI demonsLruLIons oI Iove und pIeusure, IoIIowed
Ier uL Ier IeeIs Lo BucIeI, und wus LIe mosL docIIe oI cIIIdren Lo Ier wIo expended IerseII on
IIs cure wILI u IuIIness oI devoLIon wIIcI onIy u moLIer cun gIve. AL BucIeI, wIere IIkewIse Ior
yeurs u duugILer-In-Iuw Iud presIded und Lwo grundcIIIdren were growIng up, Ie occupIed LIe
upsLuIrs room Ie Iud once sIured wILI IIs eIder broLIer, und once more IL wus LIe oId IInden, In-
sLeud oI LIe eIm, wIose bougIs sLIrred In LIe breeze beneuLI IIs wIndow und wIose murveIIous
scenL Ie seemed Lo enjoy. TIey couId conIIdenLIy Ieuve IIm Iree Lo sIL und dreum LIe Iours uwuy
on LIe round bencI wIere once LIe Ioud-voIced sLubIe-gIrI Iud LuugIL us cIIIdren Iow Lo sIng
cunons. HIs moLIer Look cure LIuL Ie goL exercIse: urm In urm LIey oILen wuIked LIrougI LIe
quIeL counLrysIde. WIen LIey meL someone Ie wouId puL ouL IIs Iund; sIe dId noL resLruIn IIm,
und LIey wouId uII excIunge greeLIngs In Lurn wIIIe sLundIng.
As Ior me, ¡ suw our deur mun uguIn In 1q¸¸, beIng by LIen emeritus. ¡ Iound myseII uL BucIeI,
u sorrowIuI gruLuIunL on LIe occusIon oI IIs IIILIeLI bIrLIduy. TIe IInden wus In bIoom, Ie suL
beneuLI IL, IIs moLIer besIde IIm. ¡ conIess my knees LrembIed us ¡ upproucIed IIm wILI IIowers
In my Iund. He seemed grown smuIIer, wIIcI mIgIL be due Lo LIe benL und droopIng posLure,
Irom wIIcI Ie IIILed Lo me u nurrow Iuce, un Ecce-Iomo counLenunce, despILe LIe IeuILIy
counLry coIour, wILI woeIuI open mouLI und vucunL eyes. ¡n PIeIIIerIng Ie Iud wIsIed noL Lo rec-
ognIze me. Now LIere wus no doubL uL uII LIuL, despILe remInders Irom IIs moLIer, Ie connecLed
wILI my uppeurunce no memorIes wIuLever. OI wIuL ¡ suId Lo IIm ubouL IIs bIrLIduy, LIe
meunIng oI my vIsIL, Ie obvIousIy undersLood noLIIng. OnIy LIe IIowers seemed Lo urouse IIs
InLeresL Ior u momenL, LIen LIey Iuy IorgoLLen.
¡ suw IIm once more In 1q¸q, uILer LIe conquesL oI PoIund, u yeur beIore IIs deuLI, wIIcI IIs
moLIer, uL eIgILy, sLIII survIved. SIe Ied me up LIe sLuIr Lo IIs room, enLerIng IL wILI LIe encour-
ugIng words: "JusL come In, Ie wIII noL noLIce you!" wIIIe ¡ sLood proIoundIy moved uL LIe door.
AL LIe buck oI LIe room, on u soIu LIe IooL end oI wIIcI wus Lowurds me, so LIuL ¡ couId Iook InLo
IIs Iuce, LIere Iuy under u IIgIL wooIIen coverIeL Ie LIuL wus once AdrIun ¡everküIn, wIose
ImmorLuI purL Is now so cuIIed. TIe coIourIess Iunds, wIose sensILIve sIupe ¡ Iud uIwuys Ioved,
Iuy crossed on IIs breusL, IIke u suInL's on u medIuevuI Lomb. TIe beurd, grown greyer, sLIII
IengLIened more LIe IoIIow Iuce, so LIuL IL wus now sLrIkIngIy IIke un EI Greco nobIemun's. WIuL
u mockIng gume NuLure Iere pIuyed, one mIgIL suy: presenLIng u pIcLure oI LIe uLmosL
spIrILuuIILy, jusL LIere wIence LIe spIrIL Iud IIed! TIe eyes Iuy deep In LIeIr sockeLs, LIe brows
were busIIer; Irom under LIem LIe uppurILIon dIrecLed upon me un unspeukubIy eurnesL Iook, so
seurcIIng us Lo be uImosL LIreuLenIng. ¡L mude me quuII; buL even In u second IL Iud us IL were
coIIupsed, LIe eyebuIIs roIIed upwurds, IuII dIsuppeurIng under LIe IIds und ceuseIessIy movIng
Irom sIde Lo sIde. ¡ reIused LIe moLIer's repeuLed InvILuLIon Lo come cIoser, und Lurned weepIng
uwuy.
On LIe z¸LI oI AugusL 1qqo LIe news reucIed me In ¡reIsIng LIuL LIuL remnunL oI u IIIe Iud
been quencIed: u IIIe wIIcI Iud gIven Lo my own, In Iove und eIIorL, prIde und puIn, ILs essenLIuI
conLenL. AL LIe open gruve In LIe IILLIe OberweIIer cIurcIyurd sLood wILI me, besIdes LIe
reIuLIves, JeuneLLe ScIeurI, RüdIger ScIIIdknupp, KunIgunde RosensLIeI, und MeLu Nuckedey;
uIso u sLrunger, u veIIed unknown, wIo dIsuppeured us LIe IIrsL cIods IeII on LIe coIIIn.
Germuny, LIe IecLIc on Ier cIeek, wus reeIIng LIen uL LIe IeIgIL oI Ier dIssoIuLe LrIumpIs,
ubouL Lo guIn LIe wIoIe worId by vIrLue oI LIe one pucL sIe wus mInded Lo keep, wIIcI sIe Iud
sIgned wILI Ier bIood. Toduy, cIung round by demons, u Iund over one eye, wILI LIe oLIer
sLurIng InLo Iorrors, down sIe IIIngs Irom despuIr Lo despuIr. WIen wIII sIe reucI LIe boLLom oI
LIe ubyss? WIen, ouL oI uLLermosL IopeIessness - u mIrucIe beyond LIe power oI beIIeI - wIII
LIe IIgIL oI Iope duwn? A IoneIy mun IoIds IIs Iunds und speuks: "God be mercIIuI Lo LIy poor
souI, my IrIend, my ¡uLIerIund!"

INÐ





ALTHOR'S NOTI
¡L does noL seem supereroguLory Lo InIorm LIe reuder LIuL LIe Iorm oI musIcuI composILIon
deIIneuLed In CIupLer XX¡¡, known us LIe LweIve-Lone or row sysLem, Is In LruLI LIe InLeIIecLuuI
properLy oI u conLemporury composer und LIeoreLIcIun, ArnoId ScIonberg. ¡ Iuve LrunsIerred
LIIs LecInIque In u cerLuIn IdeuLIonuI conLexL Lo LIe IIcLILIous IIgure oI u musIcIun, LIe LrugIc Iero
oI my noveI. ¡n IucL, LIe pussuges oI LIIs book LIuL deuI wILI musIcuI LIeory ure IndebLed In
numerous deLuIIs Lo -
- ScIonberg's Hcrmonielehre.