CHAPTER 5.

PRACTICE WITH WRITING EMAILS

Exercise 1. Circle the letter of the opener that illustrates a direct opening. Write an
appropriate subject line for each opening paragraph.
1. An e-mail requesting information about creating a Facebook presence:
a. We want to start our business fan page on Facebook, but we are not sure how to ensure visibility and
participation, and we worry about the privacy risks and data safety. We have many questions and would
like information about Facebook and social media in general.
b. Please answer the following questions about creating a business fan page on Facebook and protecting
our network from intrusions and malicious attacks.
Subject line:
2. An e-mail announcing a new day-care program:
a. Employees interested in enrolling their children in our new low-cost day-care program are invited to
an HR orientation on September 15.
b. For several years we have studied the possibility of offering a day-care option for those employees
who are parents. Until recently, our management team was unable to agree on the exact parameters of
this benefit, but now some of you will be able to take advantage of this option.
Subject line:
3. An e-mail message announcing an employee satisfaction survey:

a. We have noticed recently an increased turnover among our sales staff. We are concerned about this
troubling development and would like to study its causes. We have hired an outside consulting firm to
gauge the attitudes of our salespeople in confidential qualitative interviews.

b. The consulting firm Strelitz & Kaus Research Associates will soon conduct in-depth qualitative
interviews to explore the satisfaction among our sales staff and recommend strategies to stem the tide of
recent departures.

Subject line:

4. A memo announcing a new procedure:

a. It has come to our attention that some staff members write blogs, sometimes publicly addressing
sensitive company information. We respect the desire of employees to express themselves and would
like to continue allowing the practice, but we decided to provide binding rules to ensure the
company's and the bloggers' safety.
b. The following new policy for blog authors will help staff members to create posts that will maintain
the integrity of the company's sensitive information and keep the writers safe.
Subject line:
Exercise 2. Revise the following wordy paragraph into an introductory statement with a
concise list that has three bullet points. Could you use category headings for your
bullet points?
If you are a job candidate interviewing for a job, you should follow a few guidelines that most people
consider basic. You will be more successful if you do these things. One of the first things to do is get
ready. Before the interview, successful candidates research the target company. That is, they find out
about it. If you really want to be successful, you will prepare success stories. Wise candidates also clean
up any digital dirt that may be floating around the Internet. Those are a few of the things to do before the
interview. During the interview, the best candidates try to sound enthusiastic. They answer questions
clearly but with short, concise responses. They also are prepared to ask their own questions. After the
interview, when you can relax a bit, you should remember to send a thank-you note to the interviewer.
Another thing to do after the interview is contact references. One last thing to do, if you don't hear from
the interviewer within five days, is follow up with an inquiry.

Exercise 3. List at least 5 weaknesses of the following email.

Danika Benoit <dbenoit@bien.com>
From: Nathan Weintraub <nweintraub@bien.com>
Subject: Interns?
Hi, Danika,
You may remember that some time ago our management team here at Bien talked about an
internship program. The topic has come up again at this time, and I’m taking this opportunity to
ask you to please answer some questions about whether this is a good idea or not. As our
organization continues to expand, interns might make sense. But there are many points that
we need to discuss, and I’ve put together a few questions that I think we should cover at the
next management meeting. Please mark your calendar to meet on March 14 at 9 a.m. in the
morning
First, we really need to discuss whether an internship program is advantageous to us here at
Bien. In addition, what are the disadvantages? Next, what are some of the ramifications legally
of hosting an internship program here in our state? Another question that enters my mind is
whether we should pay interns. Do they receive college credit instead? I wonder if that serves
as satisfactory compensation. Finally, we need to discuss where this program would be
launched within Bien. What departments would pilot such a program?
I hope you will give careful thought to these questions and come prepared to discuss.
Nathan Weintraub
Manager, Human Resources | nweintraub@bien.com | Cell: 566.201.9033
Exercise 4. Write an e-mail or memo to Mr. Rollins including all the information he
needs. Make your message easy to scan and visually appealing.
Your boss, Pete Rollins, has scheduled three appointments to interview applicants for the position of
project manager. All of these appointments are for Thursday, August 22. However, he now must travel
to Miami that week. He asks you to reschedule these appointments for one week later. He also wants a
brief background summary for each candidate.
Although frustrated, you call each interviewee and are lucky to arrange these times. Diego Abrego, who
has been a project manager for nine years with Summit Enterprises, agrees to come at 10:30 a.m. Edna
Kerber, who is a systems analyst and a consultant to many companies, will come at 11:30 a.m. Maya
Oliva, who has an MA degree and six years of experience as a senior project coordinator at High Point
Industries, will come at 9:30 a.m. You are wondering whether Mr. Rollins forgot to include Kimberly
Yang, operations personnel officer, in these interviews. Ms. Yang usually is part of the selection
process.