Emotions are something huh?

Let us see how you deal with them for your assignment shall we?

Pick only one option to do. Either option or two. Read the instructions for the option you choose
and please complete. As usual, send it to me at mjanis@bmcc.cuny.edu no later than Sunday
Thanks.

Option 1. Communicating Your Emotions

Communicating emotions is one of the most difficult of all communication tasks. Here are
some situations to practice on. Visualize yourself in each of the following situations and
respond as you think an effective communicator would respond. Just choose three to do, not all
five.
1. A colleague at work has revealed some of the things you did while you were in
college—many of which you would rather not have others on the job know about.
You told your colleague these things in confidence and now just about everyone on
the job knows. You’re angry and decide to confront your colleague.

First I would try to cool down before speaking to them so that I can speak to them calmly.
Then I would find somewhere private to talk to them. I would tell them: “I am disappointed
in you and your actions. You have betrayed my trust.” I would also ask them why on earth
would they share something like that despite me telling them not to do so. Then I would keep
a distance from them since they betrayed my trust.

2. A close friend comes to your apartment in deep depression, and tells you that her or
his spouse of 22 years has fallen in love with another person and wants a divorce.
Your friend is at a total loss as to what to do and comes to you for comfort and
guidance.

I would just let my friend vent to me and try to give her support. I would try to be empathetic
by saying: "I can only imagine how painful and overwhelming this must be for you. I'm here
for you, and we'll get through this together." If her deep depression persists, I might try
suggesting her counseling or therapy. If she starts asking me about what to do next, I would ask
her what are all the options that she has, and try to help lead her to the option that she feels is
best.
 3. A neighbor who has lived next door to you for the last ten years and who has had
many difficult financial times has just won the lottery worth several million
dollars. You meet in the hallway of your apartment house.

I would respond by congratulating them: “Congratulations on winning the lottery! That's

truly amazing news.” I might even ask them about how they feel about winning the lottery
and learn about their experience.

4. Your grandmother is dying and calls you to spend some time with her. She says she
knows she is dying and wants you to know how much she has always loved you
and that her only regret in dying is not being able to see you anymore.
5. Your friend posts on Facebook about the loss of her or his job due to downsizing.
You know your friend really needs the money and must be feeling devastated, and
you would like to offer emotional support.

Option 2. Expressing Negative Feelings

Here are three situations that would normally engender negative feelings. For each, indicate
how you would express your negative feelings and also preserve and even improve the
relationship you have with this other person. Just choose two do, not all three.

1. You have called your friend, Jane, the last four times but she never seems to call you.
You feel hurt and annoyed that Jane doesn’t take the initiative to call you. You decide
you have to tell her how you feel.

I would try to encourage Jane to call me more often as I like it when she does it sometimes: “I
really miss your voice and I would like it if you called me sometime.” I would probably tell
her: “I really value our friendship and feel hurt when you don’t initiate some contact.” I would
also ask her the best times she can talk and try to understand her situation as she might be
really busy during certain days and times.
 2. You and Viktor have made an appointment to go to breakfast at 9 o’clock, but Viktor
shows up at 10:30 with only a general and seemingly flimsy excuse. You have been
waiting since 9:00 and are angry that he doesn’t seem to care about the time you
wasted. Since you don’t want this to happen again, you decide to tell him how you
feel.

I would ask him: “I don’t understand why you would come an hour late. Can you give me a
clearer explanation of what exactly happened that caused the delay to our scheduled
appointment?” Then I would just listen and give him the opportunity to explain himself. I
would tell him that “I understand and value our time together, but please next time if
something comes up, feel free to shoot me a message.”

3. You’ve been dating Chris for about six weeks. Everything seemed to be going fine
until your birthday when Chris simply posted on your Facebook wall. You expected
something more. After all, you have been dating each other exclusively for six
weeks. You feel that this shows that Chris does not really place much importance on
the relationship and you want to get this feeling out into the open.