The following are a few of the main types of conflicts identified by Mann (1969) and Wilson &

Hanna (1990)
1. Approach – Approach Conflict
A condition where two alternative ideas or views or values are equally attractive and conflict
arises in trying to make a choice between the two.
The approach-approach conflict is when there's conflict within a person where he or she needs
to decide between two appealing goals. The conflict is typically resolved when there's
movement towards one of the goals. This makes it easier to make the final decision.
Examples at Home
Let's look at some approach-approach conflict examples of personal decisions that you may
need to make at home.
Example 1
Vacation - It's time to plan your family vacation for the year. Not shockingly, the kids are
leaning towards the Disney World vacation. You and your spouse are leaning towards a tropical
beach vacation in Hawaii. Each option has advantages and disadvantages. It's your job as a
parent to make the decision. This falls under approach-approach conflict because you have to
decide between two pretty appealing destinations.
You begin researching the Disney vacation and see all the fun things the whole family can
experience. This leads you to set up a schedule for the entire week. By the time you're ready to
move on to researching the beach vacation, you've already got your mind set on the Disney
vacation. The decision is made.
Example 2
Car - Your car is about to give out and you're ready to buy a new one. You've been researching
and have narrowed it down to two options. One has more trunk space. Another has a more
appealing design. Again, you have approach-approach conflict. You need to make a decision
between two cars that are both appealing but for different reasons.
Since you've already done the research, you decide to go drive the two cars. You get in the first
car, see all the features you've been reading about and can't help but fall in love. This is it. You
tell the salesman you'll take it.
Example 3
School-You are ready to enter the job force. However, you realize you're under-qualified and
really unsure of the career path you want for yourself. The two options you're looking at are
very different. One requires a four-year degree. The other requires a ten-month certificate
program. Once again, you are dealing with an approach-approach conflict: on one hand, you
have a really comprehensive program that you could finish in ten months and probably land
decent job. On the other hand, if you pursue the four-year degree, the time you commit could
pay dividends with a more ideal job.
How to overcome it?
 Clarify Your Values and Goals: Reflect on your personal values and long-term goals.
Understanding what is most important to you can help prioritize options in a way that
aligns with your overall life direction.
 Weigh the Pros and Cons: Make a detailed list of the advantages and disadvantages of
each option. This can help clarify the potential outcomes and make the decision-making
process more objective.
 Consider the Consequences: Think about the short-term and long-term consequences of
each choice. How does each option affect your future opportunities, personal growth, and
relationships?
 Seek Advice: Sometimes, talking to friends, family, or a mentor can provide new
perspectives. Others might see aspects of the situation that you haven't considered.
 Listen to Your Intuition: Sometimes, your gut feeling can guide you towards the right
choice. If one option feels more 'right' than the other, consider why that might be.
2. Avoidance –Avoidance Conflict
It is a condition in which the two alternative ideas or views available are equally unattractive
but a choice must be made one way or the other
you have to choose between the lesser of 2 evils. This can make decision-making difficult and
often leads to conflict avoidance or procrastination (with the hopes that a better outcome will
come about). Examples:
 Disliking a job and choosing between quitting and being unemployed or staying and
getting paid.
 Starting a diet and choosing between eating at a business meeting or being the only one
not eating.
 Voting for a candidate who values the environment or the people.
How to Deal with Conflict Avoidance
 View conflict positively.
Instead of thinking of conflict as a scary thing, think of it as a learning experience. As
psychologist Liana Georgoulis says, “By shifting your thinking towards thoughts that are more
positive, you will positively influence your emotions.” See conflict as an opportunity to learn
something new, share your feelings, and connect with someone.
 Practice saying “no.”
Help ease yourself into conflicts by saying “no” more often to little things. The more
boundaries you set, the easier it’ll be to express yourself during conflicts. This can look like
saying you can’t stay late at work or saying “no” to eating out with friends
 Try deep breathing techniques.
Learn to manage your anxiety and stress around conflicts by breathing deeply. When your
nerves start to rise, inhale for 5 counts, hold for 5, and then exhale for 5.
 Focus on the present moment.
When you feel stuck or overwhelmed, keep your mind on the here and now. What choice will
help you in the current moment?
. Approach – Avoidance Conflict.
The available idea or view has both attractive and unattractive aspect to it.
What Is Approach-Avoidance Conflict?
Every decision you make comes with some sort of conflict. There may be other appealing
options, advantages and disadvantages, or nothing positive about a given choice. In the
decision-making process, psychologists have discovered three types of conflict: approach-
approach, approach-avoidance, and avoidance-avoidance. In this lesson, we will discuss the
approach-avoidance conflict.
Approach-avoidance conflict occurs when an individual is faced with a decision to pursue or
avoid something that has advantages and disadvantages. This form of conflict involves only one
goal. The name comes from the advantages of the goal making the person want to approach the
goal and the disadvantages making him or her want to avoid it.
Finding the Equilibrium - Рівновага
This type of conflict is known to cause stress. People go back and forth trying to make a
decision. They are trying to find their equilibrium point where they are about to accept both the
advantages and disadvantages, no matter the final decision. As the person nears the goal they
feel a pull from the disadvantage side. This leads the person to avoid the goal. As the person
starts to pull away, they feel the pull from the advantage side to approach the goal. The person
eventually reaches their equilibrium point.
Some examples of an approach-avoidance conflict include deciding to accept a dream job that
pays less, or taking a long vacation while falling behind at work.

In this example, a person wants to enjoy getting married. This desire of his shows the approach
conflict. And he wants to run away from the responsibility of the family. This approach is
related to avoidance conflict. So, approach-avoidance conflict arises in such situations.

According to this example, a man wants to eat junk food. Because he likes junk food. But eating
junk food causes digestion problems. Positive and negative effects also arise in front of him.
And he starts to get confused.
Salary increases on promotion. And the post gets bigger. But with that comes more responsibility.
Due to all this, the possibility of conflict arises.

Man fights with bull in the game. It’s a very dangerous game. And a person gets a big prize for
winning. But life is also at risk. Trying to win the prize is an example of approach. And taking a
risk of life is an example of avoidance.
Here's an example to illustrate the concept:
**Choosing a new job with a higher salary but far from home**: Imagine you're offered a job
that pays significantly more than your current job. This new position represents the approach
aspect because it offers financial benefits and perhaps career advancement, which are positive
outcomes. However, the job is located in a city far from your family and friends, requiring you
to move and leave your current social support network. This aspect of the situation represents
the avoidance factor because it introduces significant negative consequences to your personal
life.
In this scenario, the conflict arises because accepting the job would simultaneously lead to
positive (higher salary, career opportunities) and negative outcomes (distance from loved ones,
potential loneliness), making the decision challenging. You're drawn to the job because of its
benefits (approach) but also repelled by the downsides (avoidance), leading to an internal
conflict about whether to accept the job offer.
To overcome approach-avoidance conflict, you can try the following strategies:
Identify the underlying reasons:
Break it down: Break the conflict into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on tackling one aspect
of the conflict at a time, rather than trying to resolve everything at once. This can make the
process feel less overwhelming and more achievable.
Explore alternatives: Consider different options and alternatives for addressing the conflict.
Multiple Approach Conflict
Even though the alternative ideas and views available are attractive, they are so many that
making a satisfactory choice among them becomes overwhelming and conflict inducing.