English Language Informal Letter Comparison

Read the examples below. All were written in response to the following question:
Your brother is working abroad for a few months over the summer. Write a letter to him in which you tell him some family news and try to persuade him
to come home.
Task 1: Which one has the correct tone, format and content for an informal letter? Label each one to explain why it is or isn’t appropriate.

Task 2: Rewrite the weakest paragraph, changing it so it is more appropriate.

Example 1

Hey bro!

So, I’m finally writing to you! It feels so weird to have talk to you like this –
it’s so old-fashioned! So how’s it going? I can’t believe how long it’s been 
already! So much has happened since you left – you won’t believe it. 
First, Dad set fire to the kitchen the other day! Bonkers or what? It was

like there was a smoke machine in there! It was really smelly, grey and
disgusting! You’d have laughed your head off! 

Example 2 
To my brother, Tim, 
Its your sister, Kate Daniels. Im writing to you because I sed I would so 
heres the letter, bet youve been waiting ages. Its wierd talking to you like

this, its oldfashiond, cant you get internet instaled? So how are you, its
been a long time. A lot has happend here at home since you left. 

Dad burned the kitchin the other day, Burnt toast or something. I dunno 
wat he was doing but mum is mad.