Using Positive Language -

Building relationships
B2.1

Negative Word → Positive Alternative

_ abandon → commit _ hurt → heal
_ abuse → cherish _ ignore → listen
_ afraid → courageous _ impatient → patient
_ aggravate → soothe _ impossible → possible
_ annoy → delight _ incompetent → capable
_ anxious → calm _ inconsiderate → thoughtful
_ argumentative → agreeable _ inconvenient → convenient
_ awkward → graceful _ indecisive → decisive
_ bad → good _ jealous → secure
_ blame → praise _ lazy → industrious
_ boring → interesting _ lie → tell the truth
_ break down → build up _ lonely → connected
_ can't → can _ lose → win
_ criticize → appreciate _ mean → kind
_ difficult → easy _ mistake → opportunity
_ disappoint → satisfy _ neglect → care for
_ dislike → like _ negative → positive
_ doubt → believe _ no → yes
_ dull → exciting _ not good enough → good enough
_ embarrassed → confident _ obsess → focus
_ enemy → friend _ offend → respect
_ fail → succeed _ old → experienced
_ fearful → brave _ omit → include
_ forget → remember _ pathetic → admirable
_ hate → love _ pessimistic → optimistic
_ hesitate → decide _ poor → wealthy
_ hopeless → hopeful _ problem → opportunity
_ refuse → accept _ stupid → intelligent
_ regret → appreciate _ tense → relaxed
_ reject → accept _ terrible → wonderful
_ resentful → grateful _ threaten → reassure
_ rude → polite _ troublesome → easy
_ sad → happy _ uncomfortable → comfortable
_ selfish → generous _ unhappy → happy
_ sick → healthy _ unkind → kind
_ slow → fast _ unreliable → reliable
_ useless → useful

Ways to show you are an active listener:

_ Pay attention to the speaker. This means making eye contact, nodding your head, and giving
verbal cues that you are listening, such as "uh-huh" and "I see."
_ Ask clarifying questions. If you are not sure what the speaker is saying, ask them to clarify.
This shows that you are paying attention and that you want to understand their message.
_ Summarize what the speaker has said. This will help you to ensure that you understand their
message correctly. It also shows that you are listening and that you are paying attention to the
details.
_ Be non-judgmental. Active listening is about listening to understand, not to judge. Avoid
interrupting the speaker, rolling your eyes, or making other judgmental facial expressions.
_ Provide feedback. After the speaker has finished talking, you can provide them with feedback
on how you understood their message. This shows that you were listening and that you care
about what they have to say.

Negative Statements – Positive Statements

_ The code is not working properly. → We are learning a lot about the code and how to make it
work.
_ The team is getting frustrated. → We are all motivated to finish the project and we are working
together to solve the problems.
_ We are never going to be able to finish it. → We have come this far and we are determined to
finish the project.
The sandwich method
The sandwich method is a communication technique used to give feedback that is both positive
and constructive. It is called the "sandwich method" because the negative feedback is
sandwiched between two positive comments. This helps to soften the blow of negative feedback
and makes it more likely to be received in a positive way. Here is an example of how the sandwich
method can be used:
_ Positive comment: "I really appreciate the way you stayed late to help me with that project. It
was a big help."
_ Negative comment: "However, I noticed that you missed a few deadlines on the project. I think
it would be helpful if you could start planning your time more carefully in the future."
_ Positive comment: "Overall, I was really happy with your work on the project. You did a great
job."

Tips for being positive to build relationships

_ Be mindful of your words. Choose words that are positive, encouraging, and supportive. Avoid
using words that are negative, critical, or judgmental.
_ Be specific. When you compliment someone, be specific about what you appreciate about them.
For example, instead of saying "You're great," you could say "I really appreciate your help with that
project. You were so organized and efficient."
_ Be genuine. People can tell when you're being genuine, so make sure your compliments are
sincere. If you're not genuine, people will see right through you and your compliments will have
no impact.