ojoarz024, 11:40 (1) Facebook itis a generally well written motivational letter but there are a couple of problems. There is too much use of passive voice and that is not considered good, And there are too many paragraphs. 3 paragraphs are more than enough one talking about your background one what you wanna do in future and why this uni etc. and formatting for that quote is also kinda weird just merge that with the text normally. ‘One other problem is chronological... You should mention things in the order they happened like you mentioned your job before your subjects interests it should be the other way around. Also make it alittle bit more personal like instead of just saying | am interested in project management because of this subject mention a project you did and what aspects of that project in that subject got you interested in this field etc. if you can't find an appropriate example that you actually did just make it up nips facebook conv ?paipy=08ea weojoarz024, 11:40 (1) Facebook nips facebook conv ?paipy=08ea 22