Your Life by Design Journal

A journal to help you build the best life possible

you can imagine and want for yourself

Hello and welcome!

I’m so happy you’re here.

I’ve created this journal having in mind what would help me getting closer to my own Life
By Design as I was starting out to make life changes, internal and external, a few years ago.

This journal can truly be the beginning of the best life possible you can imagine and want
for yourself. You deserve this life. This is something I believe for everyone.

Simply by being born in this world, you deserve to have a dream & you deserve to go
after it, no matter what your background is, your past experiences or your adversity.

By completing the prompts in this journal, you will:

❖ Get clear on what I call the INs of your life – anything and everything you want to keep, create
and nurture IN your life, including your dreams for the future
❖ Identify what I call the OUTs of your life – anything that doesn’t serve you anymore which you
either want to get rid of completely or have it less as part of your life. The OUTs are also the
boundaries you will decide to set in your existing relationships
❖ Understand how Your Inner Core can become your biggest ally in creating your future life – Our
Inner Core is what I call the part of ourselves that looks after our interests and wants the best for
us – our authentic, wild self before any conditioning and trauma took place that makes us feel
ashamed of who we are, not worthy or strong enough
❖ Commit to three actions that will bring you closer to Your Life by Design

Important note: As you’re trying to complete the prompts, you might experience some
discomfort. Remember that this is completely normal as you will be pushing yourself to get
out of your comfort zone. Please don’t allow the discomfort to stop you from going deeper
inside because this is where the gold usually is!

At the end of the journal, I’ve included a version of it where the prompts have been filled
out to help you see how these exercises work, in case you haven’t done anything similar
before. If you want, take a look before you start filling it in with your own dreams and
thoughts.

As the phrase itself notes, a Life by Design is no accident. It’s a result of cultivated self-
awareness, committed action and intentional work. But most of all, creating a Life by Design,
which embodies your true self, is evidence of self-love.

I hope we all love ourselves so hard that we go after what truly matters to us.

Let the journey begin!

Effie
The Ins
❖ What’s already in your life and you want more of?

❖ What isn’t there in your life yet, but you want to create it? In other words, what
are your dreams for the future that you absolutely want to go after, otherwise
you’ll regret it when you’re older?

❖ What existing relationships you want to nurture and grow? How will you do
that?

❖ What do you want to keep in your life but with a few adjustments?
The Outs
❖ What do you want to keep out of your life completely?

❖ What do you want less of in your life?

❖ What boundaries do you want to set in your relationships to make them

healthier?
Your inner core
❖ Who is my authentic self?

❖ Which of your personality traits can help you accomplish the Ins and Outs you’ve
written down in the above sections?

❖ Which parts of yourself might prevent you from accomplishing the Ins and Outs?

❖ How can you nourish these parts of yourself so they can support you, instead of
demotivating you, in your journey?
The promise
❖ What is one promise you want to give yourself which, if you keep, will bring you
closer to Your Life by Design ?

The excuse
❖ What excuse will you not accept from yourself if you don’t keep the above
promise?

The actions
❖ What three small actions will you take in the next two weeks that your future
self will thank you and will bring you closer to Your Life by Design ? The steps
can be teeny tiny! List them below and add a date and time when you will follow
through on each one. Once you decide on the date and time, put them in your
diary

Action Date & time

1.

2.

3.
The acknowledgment
❖ Which part(s) of you do you want to thank for motivating you to complete this
journal? Keep reminding yourself of this part every time you want to accomplish
or stay committed to something.

Well done on completing Your Life by Design journal!

It’s been a real honour you’ve trusted me with your dreams and
taken this journey with me.

If you want more of my stuff, visit my website here or follow my Instagram page
to join my community of #ShameBreakers where we expose the shame culture we
live in and help create one where everyone is and feels accepted.

Also, if anyone you love and care about would benefit from this journal, please
don’t forget to share this download link with them so they can get their own free
copy of Your Life by Design journal.

Love & grace

Effie
 Completed Example
The Ins
❖ What’s already in your life and you want more of?

I’m very grateful for what I have in my life right now, however I would like to change
my career and increase my income, so I can live with more freedom and be in a
position to travel more with my family.

❖ What isn’t there in your life yet, but you want to create it? In other words, what
are your dreams for the future that you absolutely want to go after, otherwise
you’ll regret it when you’re older?

I want to buy a house near the beach. This is a big dream of mine and something
I’ve wanted for my whole life. I want my new career to allow me more flexibility so
I can spend more time near the beach together with my loved ones.

❖ What existing relationships you want to nurture and grow? How will you do
that?

The relationship with my partner is very important to me. I want us to grow together
by having honest conversations and truly listen to each other. We’re having our
challenges as a couple, like everyone else, but I believe in us so much.

❖ What do you want to keep in your life but with a few adjustments?

I’m open to keep my existing job if I will be offered the flexibility and the
advancement opportunities I have discussed with my boss. If nothing changes, then
I will certainly look into other options.

The Outs
❖ What do you want to keep out of your life completely?

I want to keep people’s judgment and criticism out of my life. I know that often they
have good intentions, but I’m an adult and I can make my own decisions without
having to explain myself to others.

❖ What do you want less of in your life but not completely gone?

I’ve got a sweet tooth and I love chocolate, so I’m not planning to give it up
altogether. However, I want to have a bit less on a weekly basis so I will think about
how I can make this happen without depriving myself of that pleasure!
❖ What boundaries do you want to set in your relationships to make them
healthier?

My mum often makes comments about my weight when other people are present,
and her behaviour makes me feel hurt and uncomfortable. I’ve wanted to have a
conversation with her for a long time but have been postponing it. I’ve decided that
I will speak to her next time I see her, explain how I feel every time she talks about
my weight and will ask her to stop making those comments.

Your inner core

❖ Who is my authentic self?

I am a woman who boldly overcomes obstacles, and despite the fear, I am learning
to stand up for myself, speak my truth and go after what matters to me. I’m
intentionally building a life of truth and authenticity, as wearing a mask is too
exhausting and I’m not willing to do it anymore. I know this isn’t easy, as I’ve been
conditioned to please others first. But I also know it’s worthy and I’m ready to free
myself with courage.

❖ Which of your personality traits can help you accomplish the Ins and Outs you’ve
written down in the above sections?

My persistence is a trait that will certainly help me change my career and succeed
in it, if I decide to go for it. Also, my empathy will allow me to nurture the
relationships that are important to me, as I know people can really count on me.

❖ Which parts of yourself might prevent you from accomplishing the Ins and Outs?

Sometimes, I have the tendency to want to please others instead of listening to my

own needs. I don’t like tension and arguments, so setting boundaries is something
I find challenging. I feel this will push me when I have the conversation with my
mum about the comments she makes about my weight.

❖ How can you nourish these parts of yourself so they can support you in your
journey?

I think understanding why I want to please others so much is a good start. I can
journal on it. I haven’t done this before, but I’ve heard that journaling can help with
getting to know ourselves better so I’ll give it a try. It might give me some insight
on what parts of myself I need to work on healing.
The promise
❖ What is one small promise you want to give yourself which, if you keep, will
bring you closer to Your Life by Design ?

Being honest with myself over what I really want in this life and what I don’t really
want anymore. For a long time, I’ve lied to myself that I was happy, but I wasn’t
doing anything to change. I’ve expected things to change on their own, but life
doesn’t work that way. So being honest with myself and making small steps to
change what doesn’t serve me anymore are the main promises.

The excuse
❖ What excuse will you not accept from yourself if you don’t keep the above
promise?

I won’t accept the excuse that I don’t have time to look for a new job or to spend it
on the things that are important to me. If it matters to me, I’ll find time!

The actions
❖ What three small actions will you take in the next two weeks that will bring you
closer to Your Life by Design ? The steps can be teeny tiny! List them below and
add a date and time when you will follow through on each one. Once you decide
on the date and time, put them in your diary

Action Date & time

1. Request a meeting with my boss to Monday at 9am

discuss flexible working

2. Research new career options Saturday at 10am for 2x hours

3. Call my mum and invite her for Thursday at 4pm

coffee so we have an honest
conversation about the comments she
makes about my weight
The acknowledgment
❖ Which parts of you do you want to thank for motivating you to complete this
journal? Keep referring to this part every time you want to accomplish or stay
committed to something.

My determination to have a better life which I know I deserve. Also, my love for my
partner who I want to grow old with. She is one of the reasons I want to become
the best version of myself.