KISS TO DEFY

BLAIRWOOD UNIVERSITY #3

OceanofPDF.com
ANNA B. DOE

OceanofPDF.com
 Text copyright © 2021 Anna B. Doe
All Rights Reserved

Copyediting by Leanne Rabesa

Cover Design by Najla Qamber Designs
Cover photo by Regina Wamba of ReginaWamba.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s
imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual
events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Created with Vellum

OceanofPDF.com
 CONTENTS

Blurb
Author's note

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Epilogue

Playlist
Acknowledgments
Other books by Anna B. Doe
About the Author

OceanofPDF.com
 BLURB

They belong to two completely different worlds…

After dedicating her entire life to figure skating, Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki is

ready for a little bit of normal. And what’s more normal than attending
college?

Zane West has had a rough life, but he’s found his way out of Ashton
Heights and he isn’t about to lose it all when the demons of his past come
knocking at the door.

… that are about to collide on the ice.

Rei has one semester to show her father that she can have it all—a normal
life and making it to the Winter Games—but it’s not so easy when there is a
broody hockey player standing in her way. Once heated arguments turn into
sharing the rink and late-night kisses, neither of them will be able to resist
the pull.

Will they manage to defy the odds or was their love doomed from the very
beginning?

Kiss to Defy is a multicultural college sports romance, an interconnected

standalone in the Blairwood University series by Anna B. Doe.
OceanofPDF.com
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
– Confucius

OceanofPDF.com
 AUTHOR'S NOTE

Kiss To Defy is a multicultural sports romance about a hockey player and a

professional figure skater. For the sake of this story, and in accordance with
trademark laws, I've made some adjustments to fit better with my characters
and the story arc.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER ONE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“It has to be here somewhere…” I look left and right as I drive slowly
through the college campus, searching for my dorm. For a relatively small
university, Blairwood feels like a maze which would be so easy to get lost
in.
My head is bobbing to the tune of the newest Demi Lovato song as I
reach blindly for my coffee, the only thing that’s been keeping me awake
since I landed in Boston, only to pack my things and drive to Blairwood
straight after. But since my attention is on the road, instead of wrapping my
fingers around the cup, I somehow manage to bump it, spilling the contents
all over the console, myself and the floor.
“Shit.” I lean to the side to straighten the cup and salvage what little’s
left inside, but when I look up, I see a guy in front of me. He turns his head
toward me, our eyes meeting for a split second.
I suck in a breath and press the brake. My heart is beating a mile a
minute, the pounding echoing in my ears as the car comes to an abrupt halt,
making my body jolt forward.
Holy shit! I almost killed somebody.
My hands grip the steering wheel tightly as I try to force my breathing
to calm down and keep the panic at bay. My right hand is sticky from the
coffee, but I’m too stupefied to care.
I almost hit somebody. I think I’m going to be sick.
I lean forward, my forehead pressing against the steering wheel.
Get a grip, Rei. I inhale deeply, counting to three before I release the
breath slowly. I repeat the process two more times until the ringing in my
ears dies down. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I get out of the car.
“Hey, are yo—”
“Are you freaking insane?” The guy pushes from the hood of my car
and glares at me. He’s tall, well over six feet. Which means he’s more than
a foot taller than my five feet, his shadow falling over me.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
“Run me over?” he finishes before I can. He folds his hands across his
broad chest, an ink-covered bicep bulging beneath his black tee.
“Well, no.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t make a habit
of running people over.”
 His brows rise. “But you have a habit of texting and driving?”
He looks at my brand-new Mercedes, muttering something that sounds
pretty close to spoiled rich girl to himself, before he returns his attention to
me.
His green eyes, a complete contrast with his dark brown skin, take me in
from head to toe. They’re so bright they leave me breathless. I don’t think
I’ve ever seen such a light shade on a Black person before, but they fit him
so well. Like two bright gems illuminating the night sky.
He’s gorgeous. Or he would be, if only he wasn’t frowning at me. I can
feel my cheeks heat under his judging gaze.
“I wasn’t texting!” I protest, propping my hand on my hip. “I was
reaching for my coffee, but I spilled it, and while I tried to take care of the
mess, you just showed up out of nowhere.” I look out at the street. “I don’t
see a crosswalk anywhere near here either.”
I raise my brow at him in challenge. If he can be a dick about this, so
can I.
His eyes narrow slightly. “Didn’t they teach you to watch where you’re
driving?”
“Didn’t they teach you not to be a dick?” Deep breaths, Rei. “I tried
apologizing, but you didn’t even let me finish.”
“You could have killed me!”
“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before crossing the
road where there isn’t a crosswalk!”
“Well, maybe you should have actually watched the road instead of
acting like the road is your coffee shop.” He shakes his head. “Seriously,
just what we need, another rich girl thinking the world owes her shit.”
World owes me shit?
“What the hell is your problem?” I jab my finger into his chest. “I didn’t
hit you. I stopped to check if you were okay, not that you actually let me
finish before attacking me.”
“Whatever.” He lifts his hands in the air, taking a step back. “I don’t
have time for this shit.” He turns around and starts walking away. “Try not
to kill somebody else, Pixie.”
“Ugh!” I stomp my foot, staring daggers at his retreating back. The
asshole doesn’t even bother to look before crossing the road.
And then I’m at fault here?
 Turning on the balls of my feet, I storm back into the car. Seriously, if
this is the start of my year, maybe I should just turn around and get the hell
out of here while I still have a chance.
“You’re not turning around,” I mutter as I restart the car and carefully
continue on my way. “You wanted this for too long. No bright-eyed, dark-
skinned giant will stand in your way.”
I pay more attention this time around, but no other presumptuous man
mountain comes at me. Thank God. It takes me ten minutes and turning
around the block twice before I realize which dorm’s mine.
Just as I’m taking the turn to the parking lot, my phone rings, the first
beats of Taylor Swift’s newest song filling the inside of the car. I glance
quickly at the phone holder before pressing the button on my steering wheel
to answer the call.
“Hey, Daddy!”
“Hey Squirt, how’s it going? Did you get there?”
I chuckle lightly at the familiar nickname. “Just about to park.”
“You shouldn’t be talking while driving,” he reprimands me just as I see
one available spot and turn on my blinker, checking that nobody’s around
before parking the car in the open space.
“You’re the one who called me,” I remind him.
What’s with men telling me how to drive? Like, seriously.
I double-check that I’m properly parked before killing the engine. I grab
my phone, turn off the speaker, and bring it to my ear, unbuckling my
seatbelt. “Besides, I told you I’d call you once I got here. Also, I’m being
responsible and using the Bluetooth connection.”
Not once in my life have I texted while driving, I know better than that.
Dad sighs on the other side of the line, and I can imagine him removing
his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose as he so often does. “I just
worry about you, that’s all.”
“I know.” I rub the back of my neck, feeling the tension building in my
muscles. “Wait, isn’t it like the middle of the night over there?”
Dad works for a tech company, and he’s currently in Japan for business.
He couldn’t say no since he’s working on a project that’s a pretty big deal.
The only reason he couldn’t be here for my, albeit late, move-in day for
college.
“It is, but I had to get up early for a meeting with the main office on the
east coast.” I can hear some papers shuffling in the background. “But
enough about me. How is it over there?”
“Good. I actually didn’t get to see much since I just arrived. I only
stopped by the administrative office to get my student ID, the key to my
dorm room, and such. I talked with the lady in the admin office and she
helped me schedule my rink time for this semester. There shouldn’t be any
conflicts since the only people who use the rink are Blairwood’s hockey
team and a local amateur team,” I say as casually as possible, although I
don’t feel casual at all.
Dad wasn’t the happiest when I told him about my decision to apply to
college this year. He wanted me to concentrate on my career as a
professional skater, but I’ve done that for as long as I can remember.
I’ve been homeschooled for most of my life so I could keep up with the
rigorous, year-long skating season, and while I love skating, lately a part of
me has felt like I’ve been missing something too.
I wanted to figure it out.
Figure me out.
We’ve been discussing college for the better part of the last year. Dad
tried to reason with me, but when I set my mind on something, there isn’t
much anybody can do. He, better than most, knows that. He insists it’s
Mom’s stubbornness, but we both know it’s really his no-nonsense business
attitude that I inherited.
In the end, we’ve compromised. I’ve agreed to take only half of the
regular course load and have one semester to show him I can do both
college and skating. There is a lot riding on these next few months, and I’m
not about to screw it up.
You almost did, and you’ve barely even gotten to campus, a little voice
reminds me.
Well, that wasn’t all my fault. Besides, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt
him.
“That’s good. Did you talk to Alexei?”
“He should come later this week,” I confirm.
“Good.” In my mind I can see him nodding his head. “That’s good. I ho
—” A buzzing sound from the background interrupts him. Dad sighs. “I’m
sorry, honey, I’ve gotta take this. Work is calling. Talk soon?”
“Sure thing, Dad.” I open the door and get out. “Good luck on your
meeting.”
“Thanks. Talk soon, Rei.”
 We say our goodbyes and hang up. Sighing, I look around and give
myself a moment to take in the campus. The place is buzzing with activity
as the students mingle around, some catching up with their friends, some
carrying their bags and boxes.
Apparently, I’m not the only one who has yet to move in.
Walking around my red Mercedes—a gift from my dad for winning my
first senior national championship, back to back with doing it as a junior
skater the year before—I pop open the trunk and look at two big suitcases,
two duffle bags, a rolled-up mattress and a few boxes. All my life reduced
to the contents of my trunk.
“This will be so much fun,” I mutter to myself, pulling out one of the
suitcases and putting it on the ground. According to the info I got in the
admin office, I was assigned a room on the fourth floor in a building with
no elevators.
I turn around and face my dorm, my home for the foreseeable future. On
the outside, the building is made of red brick, with wide stone stairs leading
the way to the entrance.
“You can do this, Rei,” I say to myself, taking a deep breath in. My
fingers curl around the handle of my suitcase.
Pulling it to the building is the easy part; getting it up the stairs to the
doors? Not so much.
I should have probably texted my new roommates with more info, but
between the competition, getting home, packing and driving here, it’s been
a crazy few days.
I’m huffing and puffing so much, you’d think I’d never exercised a day
in my life, and I’ll probably suffer a heart attack, but the damn thing is so
heavy.
“Hold the door!” I yell as I catch a glimpse of two girls on top of the
stairs, ready to enter the building.
They turn at the sound of my voice, looking at me with interest.
“Need some help?” the redhead asks.
She’s tall, and not just in the way that almost everybody’s taller than my
five-foot height, but actually tall. She’s probably around five-ten. Her dark
auburn hair is pulled into a high ponytail, and she’s wearing one of those
off-the-shoulder t-shirts and a pair of cutoff jeans with flip-flops.
I narrow my eyes at her. “Hey, are you…”
 “Rei?” The two girls exchange a look, matching expressions on their
faces. “Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki?”
“That would be me. You must be Grace and Jade.”
“What are the odds?” the brunette chuckles.
Jade. The redhead is Grace.
Jade’s a few inches shorter than Grace. Her dark brown hair is falling
down her back, a heavy coat of black eyeliner surrounding her striking blue
eyes. She’s dressed in a pair of jeans so ripped, I’m surprised they’re still
hanging on to her narrow hips, and a tight black top.
When we got our room assignments, I emailed them and found them
online. We chatted a bit, and they seemed nice. I worried a little when I
found out they were already friends, but they seemed welcoming, which I
appreciated. The last thing I want is to feel like a third wheel this whole
year.
“Right?” My arm muscles burn from the weight of my suitcase,
reminding me I should either get on my way or put that fucker down and
take a break. The other option sounds more appealing by the second.
“Damn, this is heavy.”
I push over the last few steps, barely, and let the suitcase fall on the
ground. My hands ache as blood starts running through my numb fingers.
“Maybe you should have tried with a smaller suitcase?” Jade suggests
with a raised brow. I look down at the suitcase, and can see her point. The
thing is almost as big as me.
“I thought about it,” I admit, working my fingers to chase away the little
tingles running under my skin. “But then I realized that if I don’t get the big
one out of the way first, there is no way I’d ever get back down for it.
Living out of the car sure has its advantages, don’t you think?”
At that, they both burst into laughter, and I join them.
“That, my friend,” Jade points her finger at me, “is why you need to hire
backup.”
“Backup?”
Grace shoves her friend away lightly. “Not everybody has an older
brother in college who has a bunch of hunky football friends to carry their
stuff around, Jade.”
Jade pushes her friend right back. “I didn’t hear you complain. Besides,
it wasn’t a bunch, just a few of his closest friends, and they’re not all
football players.”
 I watch in fascination as the two of them interact. Although I’ve been
surrounded by girls my whole life, I don’t remember the last time when I
had a genuine friend. Probably when I was in kindergarten.
Figure skating is a highly competitive sport, and the higher you climb,
the more ruthless it becomes. There is a lot of bullying and some seriously
messed-up shit happening behind the scenes more often than not, so I
always try my best to keep my head down and concentrate on skating.
“Tomato, tomahto.” Grace rolls her eyes—they’re vivid green
surrounded by long dark lashes, the only trace of makeup on her face—and
turns her attention back to me. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?
We’d have waited for you and helped you out.”
“Sorry, it’s been a crazy few weeks.” I run my hand through my hair. “I
just got home from my competition last night, and as soon as I got up today,
I hopped in the car and drove here. I just got to campus a few minutes ago.”
I look down at my still sticky hand. “Damn, and now I’ll have to wash my
hair.”
Grace looks at my hand. “What happened?”
“Okay, so you won’t believe my luck, but I’m driving through campus,
trying to find the dorm, when I reach for my coffee and bump the cup over,
spilling it everywhere, and just as I’m trying to salvage the situation, this
guy runs into the road, and I almost hit him.”
Jade’s eyes bug out. “You’re joking.”
“I’m afraid not.”
“What the hell did you do?”
“I barely managed to stop. I’m panicking my ass off in the car, trying to
calm myself down to get out and check if he’s okay, and when I do, he rips
into me like it’s just my fault. Like fine, I didn’t pay enough attention, but
nobody made you run in front of the car!”
“What an asshole!”
I shake my head, remembering the whole thing. “Seriously, I just hope I
don’t have to see him again.”
Just then a group of girls comes out the door, so we have to move to let
them pass.
“I guess that’s the sign we should get moving, huh?” I wrap my fingers
around the handle of my suitcase just as Grace does the same.
“C’mon, let me get that one, and you guys can pick up the rest.”
I stop and look up at her. “Are you sure?”
 Grace chuckles. “I think I can handle it.”
Still unsure if I should take her up on her offer, I say, “That thing’s
really heavy.”
“I’ll manage it.”
Jade puts her hands on my shoulders and pushes me down the stairs.
“Let’s get the rest of your things and give Grace a head start. We’ll get you
settled in in no time, and then we can erase what happened from your
mind.”
I can one hundred percent agree on that.
“Are you two high school friends?” I ask as we descend the stairs and
cross the street to where I parked my car. I just peeked at their Instagram
profiles and saw some of the newest posts they made over the summer. In
almost all of them, they were together in New York.
“We can only wish! We actually only met this past summer through a
mutual friend.”
I unlock my car and open up the trunk before giving her a side glance.
“Seriously? You guys seem so close!”
Jade pulls out a suitcase and a backpack, so I grab my two duffles.
“We just kind of clicked, I guess?” Jade shrugs as she waits for me to
close the trunk and lock the door before we proceed back toward the dorm.
“My brother is dating her best friend.”
“Oh, that’s sweet.”
We climb the steps, this time faster, and enter the building. Jade waves
at the girl sitting at the front desk, but doesn’t bother to stop, instead leading
the way toward the staircase.
“Not if you have to spend months watching them suck face all the
time,” she says, but the affection for her brother and his girlfriend is clear in
her voice. “We ditched their asses and spent time together instead, and here
we are.”
I shake my head. “Seriously, what are the chances you’d both end up
here?”
“It was pure coincidence. But we did request to share a dorm room. It
just made sense, you know?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “It does.”
If I were them and knew somebody who was coming to college with
me, and we were getting along, I’d prefer to room with them; fewer chances
of things being weird.
 “We missed you this past week, though.” Jade glances at me. “Grace
wanted to finish setting up the room—that girl has OCD, I’m telling you—
but she didn’t want to pick something that you might not like.”
I’m not sure if she’s serious, or if she’s only trying to make me feel
more welcome, but either way it works.
“I’m fine with whatever, really. After staying in all those hotel rooms,
they all kind of blend together and you don’t really notice those kinds of
things any longer.”
“A lot of competitions this year?”
I told them a little about ice skating when we texted since I had to have
an explanation for not showing up to orientation week with the rest of the
freshmen.
“Yeah, figure skating season is long.” To put it mildly. “That’s why I’m
taking just a few classes. I’m trying to find a way to balance college and
being an athlete.”
Figure skating season lasts all year long. There are regional, state and
world championships, just to name the few most important ones, and the
ones that I’ve decided to concentrate on this year to prepare for Winter
Games qualifications.
“Girl, I don’t get why you’re taking any at all.” Jade shakes her head.
“Pro athlete and a student. The next time my brother complains, I’ll give
him shit for days.”
“You’re welcome, I guess?” I chuckle.
“For real. He’s always moa— Oh my God, you cheater!” Jade yells.
I look up and see we finally caught up to Grace on the final landing.
She’s casually chatting with a tall guy who’s carrying my suitcase up the
stairs.
Grace turns around, an innocent smile on her lips. “I didn’t realize there
were rules. Besides, I learned from the best.”
Jade grins at her. “That you did.”
Grace rolls her eyes at her friend before turning to me. Is girlmance a
thing? If it is, Jade and Grace are the definition of it, and I’m slightly—
okay, a lot—jealous. “Rei, this is Marcus, he’s on the third floor, but he was
nice enough to offer to carry your suitcase up.”
Marcus looks over his shoulder, his light eyes taking me in from head to
toe. “Well, hello there.”
 A grin flashes over his face, showing off his commercial-worthy smile.
He’s cute, I have to give him that. With golden brown hair, long lashes and
a killer smile, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a model or something. He’s a
few inches taller than Grace, and his shoulders are wide, body lean.
“Hey.” I smile back, it’s impossible not to. “Sorry for putting you to
work.”
“No problem, it’s always a pleasure to help a beautiful lady.” Marcus’s
grin widens and then he winks at me.
I know he’s teasing—well, at least I think he is—but my cheeks flush
regardless.
“Don’t flirt with our new friend, Marcus.” Grace pinches his side. “Just
ignore him, he’s a shameless flirt.”
“What? Why?” Marcus places his hand over his heart dramatically. “Is
that how you repay somebody for helping you?”
“You know why, we’ve gotten to know you quite well in the last few
days.”
Marcus shakes his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t,” Jade says, patting him on the shoulder.
We joke around as we climb the final few steps to the fourth floor. Even
though I’m in peak condition, I’m slightly winded from walking four flights
of stairs with two heavy duffles. Sweat coats my body, making my shirt
cling to my skin.
Puffing out a breath, I look at the doors, some open, some closed, my
eyes scanning the numbers on the hard wooden surface.
“This is us,” Grace says over her shoulder as she gets out her keys and
unlocks the door for us to enter. “Fourth and fifth floors are actually suites
with three bedrooms, a common area and bathroom.”
“It’s a sweeter deal than having one roommate and having to share a
community bathroom,” Jade adds from behind me.
I take in the space. It’s pretty basic, with two sofas, a little coffee table,
and an entertainment center. A plaid gray and white rug separates the living
room from a counter against the wall, a coffee machine on top of it.
Two sets of doors are on one side of the living space, two on the other.
“We claimed the rooms on this side, so that one’s yours. Hope that’s
okay.”
“Of course.” I smile at Grace and go to check out my room.
 Like the rest of the suite, it’s pretty basic. A bed is shoved against the
wall on one side of the room, desk and wardrobe on the other. The space is
tiny, so tiny my yoga mat will barely fit in between, but like Jade said, at
least I have my own space.
“You ladies need any more help?” Marcus asks as he puts my suitcase
down by the door.
I let the duffles drop to the floor. “Oh, no, there’re just a few—”
“Keys,” Jade interrupts me. She extends her hand and wiggles her
fingers in a gimme motion.
“What?”
“Keys.” Jade turns to her friends. “There’s a mattress and a few more
boxes in the car. We can bring them up while you settle in.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I protest. “I can grab it later.”
Grace shakes her head. “Nonsense, let us help you. It’ll be faster that
way.”
“Besides, we’ll probably put Marcus to work.” Jade winks at me. “He
can do all the heavy lifting.”
Marcus groans, but based on the smile on his face, he doesn’t mind it.
“You hear that? Apparently I’m going to do all the heavy lifting.”
“If you feel guilty about it, you can always treat us to beer later.”
“Fine.” I pull my key chain out of my pocket and take off the car key
before giving it to Jade. “Thanks, guys.”
“No thanks needed.” Grace gives me a pat on the shoulder as they turn
toward the door. “You start unpacking and later we’ll show you around.”
I watch them go back toward the staircase, talking like they’ve known
each other for years. The doors across the living room catch my attention.
This is just the first day, and while it didn’t start in the best way, I have
a feeling it’ll be a good year.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWO

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Look who finally decided to show up!” Marcus grins as soon as he spots
us trying to get through the crowd of people that have gathered at Moore’s.
The girls weren’t joking when they said almost everybody will be out
celebrating tonight. The place is packed, with almost no room to breathe.
As they told me, the sports bar is somewhat of a local student hangout
with dark bars, a mix of high top tables and big booths at the back, huge
screens on the walls above the bars playing any game that’s current, and
Blairwood memorabilia plastered on the walls.
“The roads were busy,” Jade comments as we slide next to the table
where Marcus is sitting with two other guys who give us appreciative looks.
“It’s insane tonight,” Marcus agrees, looking around the bar. “I guess
everybody wants one last beer to drink in complete peace.”
Marcus turns toward me with a grin, and I roll my eyes, but smile back.
“Real subtle. I guess that’s my cue…”
“Aww, don’t get mad, short stuff.” Marcus throws his arm around my
shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. “I can buy the first round.”
“Oh, no you don’t!” I shake my head. “I pay my own way, big guy.”
He laughs. “Noted. Let’s introduce you first and then I’ll flag down the
server. Guys,” Marcus turns us toward his friends, “you remember Jade and
Grace from orientation, and this little thing is their new roommate, Rei. Rei,
this is James and Franco.”
They both nod in my direction by way of greeting. James is almost as
tall as Marcus, only beefier. His skin is bronze, his dark hair cut short, and a
pair of metal frames is propped on his nose. Franco, on the other hand, is a
bit shorter and leaner. His skin is pale, a dusting of freckles covering the
bridge of his nose, and he has curly reddish-brown hair that looks like
lightning has just struck him.
“Nice to meet you.”
They return the greeting with a smile. Jade and Grace move closer to
the table. At least it’s a high top one, so we can just lean against it, because
finding an available chair is next to impossible.
They all start chatting instantly about something that happened during
orientation week, and I listen in, trying to follow.
 A server passes by us, and Marcus stops her and places another order.
She nods in understanding before getting lost in the crowd once again.
“How come we didn’t see you at orientation, Rei?”
At the sound of my name, my head snaps up, and I turn my attention to
the group.
“I had a competition that I had to attend, and it was during orientation
week.”
“What kind of competition?” James asks.
“Rei is a figure skater.” Jade turns to me. “Which makes me realize that
I’ve never watched figure skating, not live or on TV.”
“It’s definitely not as popular as some other sports here.”
“Guilty as charged. With Nixon playing football, it’s always been
football in our house.” As Jade says it, a dark shadow passes through her
eyes. It’s there just for a second, but then she blinks and it’s gone, making
me wonder if it was there in the first place. “We’ll have to change that.
When’s your next one?”
“A few weeks, it’s the qualification period for Nationals.”
Just then the server returns and places six beers on our table before
slipping away once again.
“Nationals as in…” Franco lets the words hang in the air as he grabs a
new beer bottle and takes a pull.
“U.S. Figure Skating Championships. I’m a senior skater.” I can feel
their gazes on me, so I grab a beer and take a small sip. This isn’t my first
encounter with alcohol, but since I rarely drink, because calories, I figure
it’s better to take it slow. “What about you guys? How do you all know each
other?”
“James is my roomie, and Franco and I are a part of the track team.”
I turn toward Marcus and do a double take. “Track team?” If I had to
guess, I’d have pegged him as a basketball player. Or maybe a swimmer.
Marcus laughs. “I actually did track and football in high school, but I
decided to stick with one, so I can concentrate on school. Pre-med ain’t
gonna be easy. What’s your major?”
“Physics.”
Marcus whistles softly. “Beautiful and smart.”
I tip my beer at him. “The girls were right, you’re a charmer.”
Marcus’s grin widens. “How can you tell?”
 We continue chatting for a while, and they tell me about all the things
that have happened during orientation week. Some I’m sad I missed, the
others? Not so much.
“Ugh!” Jade turns around and glares at somebody over her back. “I
swear if somebody shoves me one more time, I’m going to scream.”
“If you want, we can leave,” I offer, more than ready to get out of here.
We’ve been here for over two hours, and I already had an alarm ready to
wake me up tomorrow at five-twenty. I could use more than a few hours of
sleep.
“I don’t want to leave, it’s too early.”
“She just wants everybody else to take a hike,” Grace explains, playing
with her empty beer bottle.
“Exactly! I mean, I’m sure there are like ten different parties happening
all around campus at this exact moment. Do they all have to be here?”
Just then there is a commotion coming from the front of the bar. People
move as a group of guys enters. It seems like everybody knows them,
because people stop them at every step to talk to them.
They’re all extremely hot, tall and muscular, with wide shoulders and
killer smiles. What do they feed these boys here? It’s just insane.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met my fair share of attractive guys, but
figure skaters are just built differently. There’s no way you’d be able to
jump with all the muscles these dudes are spotting.
I start to lift my beer, but stop mid-movement when I see another guy
joining the group. He’s tall, at least couple of inches taller than the rest of
his friends. His broad shoulders stretch the material of a simple black shirt,
his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans. Dressed in all black, and with
his dark skin, he all but blends with the darkness; or he would if there
wasn’t something about him that demands attention.
One of his friends elbows him, his mouth moving as he says something,
followed by a laugh. The guy just shakes his head, a barely noticeable tilt
curling his full lips.
A hand pops in front of my face. “Earth to Rei.”
I shake my head to clear my mind. “Sorry, you were saying?”
“Where’s your head at?” Jade chuckles.
“Oh, nothing, just…” But before I can finish, she’s already looking over
her shoulder, searching for whatever stole my attention.
 And of course, that’s the moment the hot guy sweeps the space, his eyes
stopping on our table. Recognition lights his eyes as they land on us. Or
more particularly, on me.
“Not him,” I mutter, my lips pressing in a tight line.
Seriously, what are the odds? Out of all the people, of all the places, that
he and I end up in the same one?
“What?” Jade looks at me, a frown between her brows, before she turns
her attention to the group.
The guy looks at her, his expression softening as he tips his chin at Jade
in greeting.
“That’s him.”
Jade lifts her hand in a little wave, but stops at my words. “Him him?”
Grace looks up with interest. “The guy you ran over?”
“I didn’t run him over. He crossed the road where there’s no crosswalk.”
I turn my attention to Jade. “You know him?”
“Yeah—well, I don’t know him. Not that way, anyway. But I met him a
few times. He’s one of my brother’s roommates. His name’s Zane.”
Zane.
The name suits him. It matches those striking eyes of his, and his
broody attitude.
My eyes find him standing with his friends. They’re talking about
something, but his scowling glare is still directed firmly at me. A shiver
runs down my spine, but I lift my chin defiantly.
“Great. Just… great.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THREE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Yo, Zane, it’s your turn.” Spencer’s elbow connects with my gut, making
me snap my head toward him.
“What?”
“Your turn, dude. Where’s your head at?”
I take one last look at the table in the middle of the room, hoping to
catch a glimpse of the raven-haired girl. I’m not even sure why I try. She’s
so short she can easily get lost in the crowd, and more often than not she
does. But just then, the crowd parts and I see her standing next to the tall
dude, his arm thrown casually over her shoulder. He says something, and
she throws her head back and laughs.
Out of all the places, she has to be here tonight?
“Here,” I mutter, turning my attention to the balls on the table, quickly
assessing the situation before leaning down and taking my shot. I use more
force than necessary, making the white ball fly across the green table. It hits
the stripe I was going for and sends it flying into the opposite pocket.
“At least you’re not a shitty player.”
Standing upright, I glare at him. “When have I ever been a shitty
player?”
“Where do you want me to start?” Spencer’s grin widens. The asshole
loves to get on my nerves. You’d think it’s a hobby or some shit.
“Fuck off, Spence.”
“You two ladies planning to spend the night gossiping, or are we
playing?” Chris, our D-man, asks.
“You ask West.” Spencer lifts his hands in the air as he goes to our
table. “He’s the one with twisted panties.”
I’m not sure how we managed to get it since this place was full when
we got here. Then again, Moore always makes sure that his favorite athletes
have a table ready when they get to his place. Because where athletes go,
the rest will follow, even at Blairwood, which is known for both its sports
accomplishments and academic ones.
“That’s because you assholes irritate the hell out of me.” Still, I lean
down, quickly pocketing two other balls; I’m just about to do the same to
the third one when…
 “I think it has more to do with that sexy brunette he’s been checking out
all evening.” Vincent, our goalie, drums his fingers against the edge of the
table and I miss. Badly.
“I haven’t been checking out anybody.”
“And yet you missed when Vince mentioned her. Huh.” Chris shoves
me out of his way as he lines up his shot.
“I missed because Vince was shaking the table with his tapping.
Seriously, dude, you need to get your nerves in order.”
I go to our table and take a swig from my beer.
“Can’t, helps keep me centered.”
Spencer frowns. “How can it help keep you centered?”
Vince shrugs. “It does. I haven’t heard you complaining when you
assholes let your guard down and the opposing team comes flying at the
net, leaving me to save your asses.”
The guys get into a discussion about who’s to blame for our shitty
defense, but I barely listen to them because from this vantage point I can
look straight at her table.
I’m not sure who Jade Cole’s new friend is. She wasn’t there the day
Nixon asked us to help him move Jade and her friend into the dorm, but she
has to be a freshman.
Vince was wrong, though, she’s not a brunette. No, her hair is as black
as night. Raven hair. I still remember how it glistened in the sunlight earlier
when she stumbled out of the car. Some strands have slipped from her braid
and are curling around her face. Long, thick eyelashes surround her dark,
almond eyes. Her full dark red lips stand out against her smooth olive skin.
It was those lips that drew me to her in the first place. They stand out, a
complete contrast to her otherwise dark coloring.
A temptress.
That’s what she is. An exotic temptress with the most innocent pair of
big, brown eyes, and a sharp tongue that would make a lesser man cower.
Spencer elbows me in the gut. “So much for not checking anybody out.”
“I’m not checking her out.” I turn back and find my friends staring at
me. “More like trying to figure out if I can strangle her.”
The guys all turn toward me as one.
“Why the hell would you do that for?” Vince asks, frowning.
“Because the chick ran me over with her car earlier today.”
“What?”
 “You’re joking, right?”
I lift my brows, the beer bottle stopping halfway to my mouth. “Do I
look like I’m joking?”
I take a sip from my beer as we turn our attention back to the girl in
question.
Spencer looks toward where the girl’s standing. “She’s sexy.”
Like I need a reminder. She might be on the short side, but she has just
enough curves to fill a man’s hands.
“She’s barely out of middle school,” I mutter, more for my benefit than
for theirs. The little rich girl might irritate me, but there’s something about
her that draws my attention to her, whether or not I want it there. And I
most definitely don’t.
Vince looks over my shoulder. “Those lips don’t scream middle school
to me. But they’d sure look good wrapp—”
I glare at him, which has him shutting his mouth. Better, because the
other option would be me shutting him up with the cue.
“Who’s playing?” I ask, ready to change the subject.
Chris rolls his eyes. “You, asshole.”
Of course it’s me.
I pocket two more stripes, leaving only one and the eight ball. Chris
pockets one ball, misses the other, and leaves everything perfectly aligned
for Spencer to finish the game.
“That’s how you do it.” Spence raises his arms in victory. He turns
around and points at Vince and Chris. “You pay the next round, boys.”
They both groan.
“I want a rematch,” Chris demands like he always does. The dude loses
all the time, but insists he can do better. He can’t.
I put my cue back in the holder and shake my head. “Sorry, man, but
I’m out.”
“What? You can’t leave yet, we just got here!” Vince protests.
We’ve been here the last couple of hours, so we definitely didn’t just get
here, but I don’t bother correcting him.
“Sorry.” I shake my head. “Early morning.”
Spencer groans. “You are no fun, West. Are you sure you want to leave
these assholes unattended?”
“You’re one of those assholes, asshole,” I remind him. “Besides, it’s not
like I’m your mother.”
 “Could have fooled me.” He tries to cover his words with a cough, but I
hear them loud and clear.
I punch him in the arm. “Don’t be a little dick, Spence.”
“Hey,” he protests. “I’ll have you know my dick is big, no, huge. Thank
you very much.”
“I don’t care one way or the other.” From the corner of my eye, I spot a
couple of girls standing by the wall, looking toward us and giggling.
“Maybe you should find somebody who does.” Slapping him on the
shoulder, I turn around and lift my hand in a wave. “Later, boys.”
Yes, sir and bye, Coach follow me out as expected.
Some of my teammates called me Daddy West, but they learned pretty
fast that if they want to keep all their teeth, they shouldn’t call me that to
my face. Or anywhere I can hear them, for that matter.
I don’t hide the fact that I love my team and by extension, my
teammates. Hockey saved me when I was in a shitty place in my life, just a
punk from Ashton Heights with a chip on my shoulder the size of Mt.
Everest. So while yes, they’re assholes, they’re my assholes and I know
those guys will have my back on and off the ice. Next to my best friend,
Hayden, his grandmother, who we both call Grams, and our roommates, my
team is my only family and you take care of your family.
The music is louder in the main space, although the crowd isn’t as big
as it was when we just got here. People either moved on to some of the
house parties happening on campus, or went home so they can get up for
classes tomorrow.
Like the raven-haired girl.
Yes, I noticed when she left the bar with her friends. She caught me
staring and gave me one of those snotty, looking at you down her nose
looks before turning around and walking away.
Something I should be doing. I wasn’t lying when I said I have an early
morning. My schedule is packed this year. Between my classes, hockey and
an internship I landed with Dr. Snow, one of the best sports medicine
doctors on the East Coast, I’ll have my hands full.
I spot a few more people I know, either from classes or from the clinic.
Prescott, a football player on the Ravens team and a close friend of one of
my roommates, lifts his bottle in greeting and I nod once. A redheaded girl
plastered to his side lifts on her tiptoes to whisper something in his ear.
 Shaking my head, I continue on my way out. A rush of warm air hits me
as soon as I step out the door. I can’t wait for the summer to finally be over
and for fall, and winter to arrive.
A few smaller groups hang in the darkness in front of Moore’s, smoking
and drinking. Tucking my hands in my pockets, I descend the few steps and
start walking home.
Like everybody who comes to Blairwood University I spent the first
year in the dorm, but when at the beginning of sophomore year my best
friend told me one of his roommates bought a house off campus and they
had one room available, I couldn’t say no. It was a sweet deal, that’s for
sure. And since the guy, Maddox, doesn’t want us to pay rent, we divide the
utilities between the three of us and call it a day.
The road is quiet, a complete contrast to all the noises at the party. I’m
just crossing the road when I catch sight of a shadow from the corner of my
eye.
My body grows tense as my senses go on high alert. I don’t remember
the last time something like this has happened. It’s been five years since I
got out of the shitty life I grew up in, five years since I got a second chance
to make something out of myself. Something better. But I’ve grown too
comfortable in my skin. Still, the feeling of being watched is too familiar to
ever completely forget.
I turn around, scanning the darkness for… something.
Is somebody following me?
My heart thumps rapidly against my ribcage, my fingers flexing with
nerves.
I do another sweep, just to be sure, and I’m about to continue on my
way when I see it.
A shift in the shadows.
Somebody else probably wouldn’t have noticed it, but I’ve lived in the
darkness for way too long.
“Who’s there?”
Silence is my only answer, but I wait. My instincts have never been
wrong. Not about this. When you’re raised on the wrong side of town, they
are your only means of survival, so you sharpen them and learn to trust
them because your life depends on it.
I’m not sure how long I just stand there, barely breathing.
Then there it is again.
 A slight shift in the darkness accompanied by a rustling of clothes.
Quiet enough you might miss it if you don’t know what you’re looking for.
Somebody steps from the shadows and into the bright light of the street
lamp. My heart speeds up, the loud thump-thump-thump echoing in my
eardrums.
“Zane.”
It takes me a moment to register her voice. It’s a voice I haven’t heard in
five years, except in my nightmares. But when I do, it’s like a punch to my
gut.
She’s the last person I expected to see. Ever. But it’s her, all right. There
is no way I’d ever forget her face.
Her skin is a shade darker than mine, dark brown hair curling wildly
around her oval face. Her eyes are black, but from here I can’t decipher if
it’s her natural color or if her irises are so dilated because she’s high on
something. Probably the latter.
I don’t even think I’d remember the exact shade of her eyes, even if I
tried. Did I even know it? I must have; after all, I managed to survive long
enough to escape. There must have been something good before all the bad.
However, for as long as I can remember, they’ve been two bottomless wells
of darkness. And now the monsters have come back to play.
“What do you want?” I grit through clenched teeth. My voice is low and
calm, but inside I’m anything but.
Her lips tip into a smile. “Is that any way to greet your mother?”
“I have no mother.”
I haven’t had one in a long, long time. If ever.
“Some people would disagree.”
My hands clench tightly by my sides. “Some people would be wrong.”
“Right or wrong, you know it doesn’t matter to them.”
No, of course it doesn’t. Not to the crowd she hangs out with.
“What do you want?” I ask, although I already know the answer. There
is only one reason she’d ever reach out to me, and her next words confirm
it.
“I need help.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FOUR

OceanofPDF.com
REI
I tilt my head back, inhaling the fresh early-morning air. The sky is still
dark, the sun barely peeking over the horizon. Then again, it’s practically
the middle of the night for most people.
Not for me, though. I’ve grown up watching the first rays of sunshine
peek through the dark clouds. Although after last night, I wish I was still
snuggled in my bed.
It was close to midnight when we finally said our goodnights and I
climbed into my bed. Still, like so many times before, I woke up and got out
of bed at the first sound of my alarm, the knowledge that I’ll be in the rink
soon chasing away any lingering tiredness.
I throw my duffle bag over my shoulder and close the car door, locking
it as I cross the empty parking lot. There is a stillness in the air, the serenity
that only early risers know of. I relish it as long as I can because I know that
in a couple of hours the campus will wake up and this feeling will be long
gone.
The door to the rink is locked, so I peek through the little window,
bouncing on the balls of my feet. Raising my hand, I knock three times and
wait. Just when I’m about to repeat the motion, I see movement coming
from down the hallway.
The sound of footsteps echoing against the tiles intensifies as they move
closer, followed by the click of the key turning and then the door swings
open, bringing me face to face with an older gentleman. He stares at me for
a moment, confused, as if he can’t comprehend what somebody would be
doing here this early in the morning.
“Morning, I’m Rei,” I say cheerily and offer him a small smile, but
there is no recognition. “Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki? I guess you must be Mr.
Smith? I talked yesterday with the admin office and they scheduled me to
use the rink every morning to practice.”
“Oh, yeah. C’mon in.” He opens the door just wide enough for me to
pass through. “The locker room is that way.”
He throws his finger over his shoulder, indicating a hallway on the right.
“Sounds good, thank you.”
He just grumbles something under his breath as he goes on his way.
Oh-kay.
 So much for a warm welcome.
Maybe I should have brought coffee? Everybody should be able to be
bribed with a cup of coffee, right? Especially this early in the morning.
Sighing, I go in the direction which he indicated. My footsteps echo
against the tiles as I walk down the dimly lit hallway until I see the sign for
the women’s locker room. Since I’m already dressed in my workout attire, I
bypass it and go straight for the rink.
The icy air hits me as soon as I open the door. A chill runs down my
spine, nervousness and the excitement of being here swelling inside my
belly. I inhale deeply, letting the smell of ice fill my lungs.
Slowly, I walk through the tunnel until I’m standing by the boards
surrounding the rink, watching the shiny white surface that’s calling my
name.
No matter where I go, being in the rink feels like coming home. I’ve
spent so much time at rinks, sometimes they feel more like home than my
actual house.
Or maybe it’s the fact that I wore my first pair of skates before I could
even walk, following in my mother’s footsteps even before I could grasp
what it actually meant.
I was fascinated by it, fascinated by her. Mom could create magic when
she took to the ice. Since she died giving birth to me, I never got to hear her
laugh, or remember her smell, feel the warmth of her skin. What I had were
videos upon videos of her skating, from when she was just a girl, up until
retiring after she won her second gold medal at the Winter Games.
It’s the one thing I remember most vividly about her, the way she shined
when she skated.
Shaking my head to snap out of it, I walk around the arena until I spot
the entrance to the ice. I walk to the bench, letting the duffle slide off my
shoulder to the floor.
There is an open space, just enough for me to go through my warmup
routine. Jumping rope, jumping jacks, high knees, and finally some
stretching. The whole thing takes me about fifteen minutes, but it’s an
essential part I never skip.
Once done, I go back to the bench and unzip my bag. I pull out my
skates, letting my fingers glide over the smooth leather, my old friends and
my loyal companions.
 I toe off my sneakers and carefully slide my feet into the skates, tying
the laces with the efficiency that comes from years of practice. Once I’m
done, I grab my earbuds from the bag and connect them to my phone. I
scroll through my playlists until I find the one I like and press play.
If this was a regular practice, my coach would take care of the music
and together we’d decide on what I’d be working on, but since it’s just me
today, I keep it casual.
I stand up and walk toward the door leading to the rink. The ice is
smooth, the surface crystal clear, pure and intact. I carefully place one foot
inside the rink and then the other, pushing myself to glide over the ice.
Skating has always been as easy as breathing, something that’s a part of
me as much as my black hair or brown eyes.
It’s engraved into my soul.
I let the music lead me as I slowly make a few circles around the rink to
warm up, relaxing my muscles from all the tension that’s been
accumulating in the last few weeks.
For three minutes, that’s all I do.
Round and round, slowly gaining speed as I go, skating both forward
and backward.
As the song comes to a close, I stop in the middle of the rink, taking up
my pose. My right hand is pressed against my chest, the left one extended
in front of me, head slightly tilted to the left and bowed down as the first
notes of Swan Lake fill my earbuds.
It’s one of those pieces that I’ve skated to a thousand times before. It
was my mom’s favorite, so it became something that I listened to when I
wanted to feel close to her and somewhere along the way it became my
favorite too.
Just like her dreams have become mine.
But not this routine.
This is all me.
I’ve been working on it for years, taking it from the simple routine of a
little girl to one of the best, most complex routines I could master as a
senior skater. With each new element I’ve learned individually, one old,
simpler element would go out, replaced by a new one or turned into a
combination. Then I’d start all over again until I mastered it like that. Until
falling isn’t an option, and the sky is my only limit.
 Skating to Swan Lake always opens the same. There is a choreographic
sequence in place for a few seconds before I start a backward crossover
across the ice, before changing forward. It’s dance, but instead of point
shoes, I have toe picks.
Figure skating is a mix of athleticism, dance and acting. You’re not just
demonstrating your skills and elements, you’re telling a story. A story that
has to pull the audience in, make them watch it until the very last note still
hangs in the air. You have to make them feel.
When the main theme hits, I go into my first jump combination: triple
Axel, half loop, triple Salchow.
I’m nothing if not meticulous. Between my dad’s connections and my
mom’s legacy, I’ve gotten to work with the best coaches out there, and I’ve
never been afraid of working hard.
Not for something I love as much as skating.
But today, I’m finally ready to take it to the next level.
To see if I can even do it.
When you’re a pro athlete, you’re always doing that. Testing yourself.
Testing your strength. Testing your limits.
Most senior ladies can do triple jumps, while more and more men are
landing quadruple jumps. I’ve been working on my triple Axel, the hardest
of triple jumps, for years and landed it every single time in the last eight
months. Practice or competition, every single landing has been perfect.
But lately I’ve had this unnerving feeling that I want to do more.
Dig deeper.
Reach higher.
Why should guys get to have all the glory?
My breathing elevates, a sheer layer of sweat coating my skin and
making a few runaway strands of hair glue to my heated skin.
As the crescendo reaches its peak, I bite the inside of my cheek.
This is it.
Turning backward, I switch my weight to the back outside edge of my
right foot, preparing for the takeoff.
There is that familiar rush in my blood as I suck in a breath, leaping into
the air.
One.
Two.
Three.
 Fou—
I know the fall is coming before it happens. It’s that twisted feeling in
my gut. My stomach falls as I lose my balance and tumble down.
Hard and fast.
The ice is cold and hard under me and I know I’ll have a bruise from
my landing, but thankfully, the stab of pain coursing through my leg isn’t
there.
I inhale sharply, reminding myself I need to breathe. My heart is still
racing a mile a minute from the adrenaline flowing through my veins.
Breathe.
Slowly, I let out a breath, doing my best to calm my wild heart.
Just then a skate appears in my line of vision, followed by a hand.
Startled, I look up, and then up some more.
Skates, shin guards, muscled thighs… My gaze moves up over his
narrow waist and chest covered in a black jersey, until I finally reach his
eyes and come face to face with none other than him.
Zane.
He’s even more gorgeous in the light of the day than he was last night
standing in the shadows. It’s not fair. Such a handsome face shouldn’t
always be twisted in a scowl.
There is a frown between his brows, and his full lips move as he says
something.
He’s talking, I realize. To me.
I lift my hand, pressing the button on my earbud to silence the music.
“What?”
“Are you insane?” he growls. Just like the rest of him, his voice is low
and sexy, or it would be if he wasn’t clearly pissed off.
“Excuse me?” Ignoring his hand, I push up from the ice, brushing off
some of it from my leggings.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m practicing.” I cross my arms
over my chest and look up at him. I might be small, but I’m not cowering in
front of anybody. Especially not some guy with an attitude, no matter how
handsome he is. “You know, where you’re working on mastering a new
skill? In case you’re not familiar with the term.”
He mimics my moves, crossing his arms over his chest, which only
makes his biceps bulge. “I know what practicing is, what I don’t understand
is why you’re doing it during my slot on the ice?”
“Your slot?” He did not just say that. “Maybe you should check with the
admin office about that, because they sure aren’t aware of it, since they
booked me in this slot for the rest of the semester.”
His piercing green eyes narrow even further. “You can’t do that.”
I can’t do that?
Is this guy for real?
I move closer, so we’re standing skate to skate, and he has to look down
at me if he wants to continue this little tantrum of his.
I can feel the warmth radiating off of him. It’s not even strange that he
can stand in the middle of the rink in just a t-shirt if he’s emitting all this
heat.
Concentrate, Rei.
I jab my finger into his chest to make a point, but am met with a strong
wall of muscles.
“I already did.” I look down at my smart watch. “And based on that
schedule, I have a full hour on the ice left, so if you’ll excuse me and get off
my ice, I’d really appreciate it.”
I can see the fumes coming out of his ears. If I weren’t pissed because
of his shitty attitude, I’d find it funny.
“You can’t be serious.”
If he didn’t get on the ice with this attitude, I wouldn’t be. After all, it’s
not uncommon for more than one athlete to work on the ice at the same
time. Figure skaters rarely need the full surface of the ice for practicing, so
we could have shared, but…
“Oh, I am serious.” I skate backward, putting more distance between us.
I lift my hand up and wave dismissively.
He glares at me, his eyes flaring.
“We’ll see about that.”
With that, he turns around and stalks away, letting the door bang loudly
on his way out.
“I guess we will,” I murmur softly, a slight trill buzzing under my skin.
“Yo, Zane, sorry, I’m—”
A guy appears in the door to the rink, just as Zane pushes out and stalks
away. He looks after his friend, a confused look on his face. “Did I miss
something?”
“Except the fact that your friend’s a dick?”
 He turns to me, like he didn’t even realize I’m here. Then he does a
double-take, his eyes widening slightly. “You’re the girl from last night.”
I lift my brow at him. “Should I know you?”
“Now you do.” He gets out on the ice and skates closer, running his
hand through his already messy dark hair. I notice he’s also wearing the
same thing as Zane did. So they’re both hockey players. “Spencer. What’s
your name, Skater Girl?”
“Rei.”
Spencer flashes me a smile, matching dimples popping in his cheeks.
“So, tell me, Skater Girl, what did you do to piss off our boy?”
How are they even friends?
“Me? I was minding my business when your friend came in here and
started yelling at me.”
“Zane?” His brows shoot up. “Yelling?”
“Yeah, yelling.” Why is that so damn hard to believe? I don’t even
know the guy, and he’s yelled at me enough times to last me a lifetime. “He
seriously needs to cool off.” I check my watch. “And I seriously need to
continue my practice.”
“You’re staying?”
I skate backwards. “Of course. I’m a student here, and I’m a figure
skater. Where else should I practice?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FIVE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“What do you mean, you can’t change that?” I look at the blank face of the
clerk sitting behind the desk in the admin office.
The dude looks uncomfortable as fuck as he pushes his glasses up his
nose. His throat bobs and he looks to the side, avoiding my gaze.
“Like I said, the rink is already booked from six to eight in the morning,
all seven days of the week, up until…”
“The fucking end of the semester,” I finish, running my fingers through
my hair before letting my hand drop back down by my side. “Yeah, I heard
you the first time around.”
“Maybe if you asked Miss Mitchell-Nagasaki…”
“No, thanks.”
The last thing I want is to be anywhere near Miss Mitchell-Nagasaki.
Seeing her in the rink was like a kick to the balls. She was the last
person I expected to find there. I didn’t expect anybody, that’s why I went
in the first place. So I could get rid of all the pent-up tension and find peace
in the only place that ever offered me some. Yet there she was, clad in the
tightest pair of pants possible that showed off her toned legs and ass and
some kind of top that revealed her midsection.
Who even goes half naked into the ice rink, anyway?
Miss Mitchell-Nagasaki, apparently.
But it wasn’t only that that made me stare at her; no, it was the effortless
way she looked gliding over the ice. It was the joy on her face every time
she landed a jump or completed a spiral.
A freaking figure skater.
I’ve never seen anybody like her, and I couldn’t look away.
I don’t even know how long I just stood there, staring at her. It could
have been mere seconds or it could have been hours. Then she fell. I’m not
sure how or why. One moment she was rotating in the air, her entire body
defying gravity, and the next she was down on the ice.
The force with which her body landed was so strong it echoed in the
otherwise quiet rink. I felt it in my bones, and for a moment I couldn’t
breathe. Just thinking about it has my chest tightening all over again.
“Anything else I can help you with?” the guy asks, snapping me out of
my thoughts. I look down, for the first time noticing that I’ve been
subconsciously rubbing at my chest.
“No, thanks.”
Without another word, I turn around and walk out.
The sun hits me as soon as I exit the building, blinding me temporarily.
Looking down at my phone, I realize I spent way too much time dealing
with this shit, and now I’ll have to miss lunch if I want to make it to Dr.
Snow’s office on time. Talk about a shitty start to a new school year.
“Fucking great,” I mutter out loud and shove my phone back in my
pocket.
“Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?”
At the sound of a familiar voice, I turn around and find Nixon, one of
my roommates, walking toward me.
“It’s afternoon, you asshole,” I say, not bothering to slow down. If he
wants to chat, he better hurry.
“Would have never guessed.” Nixon rolls his eyes. He tips his chin
toward me. “So who managed to piss you off already?”
“Nobody.”
“Then what’s with the attitude? I’m used to your broody mug, but this
has somebody else’s name written all over it.”
“I just missed my lunch, that’s all, and now I’ll be late for the first day
at my internship if I don’t hurry the fuck up.”
“Oh, so Zany is hangry, is that it?”
I glare at him, completely unamused, which only makes him laugh
louder. And after all the shit that went down last spring, I can’t even be
angry at him for mocking me. The dude deserves a little break in his life. If
my misery gives it to him, so be it.
“Yeah, yeah. You better not go to the gym today, because you’ll regret
it.”
“Duly noted.” Nixon looks down at his phone. “How much time do you
have, anyway?”
I sigh. “Not enough to get to the cafeteria to grab something to eat.” The
damn thing is on the other side of campus, and with it being the lunch rush,
there is no way I can make it there and back in time.
“How about stopping at Cup It Up? Yas’s working.”
I give him a look. “You just want an excuse to see your girlfriend.”
His smile widens. “I didn’t realize I needed an excuse to see my
girlfriend.”
 His whole face changes when he talks about Yasmin. Kind of like a
lovesick puppy. I’ve noticed it with Hayden too. Two guys who were the
best at playing the field our first year in college are now tightly wrapped
around their girlfriends’ fingers. I shake my head. “You’re sappy as fuck,
Cole.”
Nix chuckles, but he doesn’t look the least bit offended. “We’ll see once
you find yourself a girlfriend. If anyone will take your grumpy ass, that is.”
“Fat chance of that happening.”
My friends might be settling down and loving it, but I don’t see myself
following in their footsteps. Not anytime soon, if ever.
I have two years left of college. Between classes, studying, hockey and
my internship, there won’t be any time left for me to breathe.
Then there is also the matter of her.
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Even those mightier than you have fallen.”
“Do you include yourself and Hayden in that category? Because bro, if I
remember it correctly, you fell faster than a house of cards.”
Nixon elbows me. “We’ll see, tough guy. So, Cup It Up?”
I look at the clock again. I have twenty minutes before I have to be at
the clinic that’s attached to the sports department. It’s not too far from the
coffee shop and bakery, but I’ll have to run to make it in time.
At least you won’t risk biting anybody’s head off…
“Sure, but I have to hurry.”

“I hope you read the syllabus.”

I nod my head. “I did.”
“Good.” Dr. Snow shuffles through some of the papers on her desk.
Only once she’s happy does she sit down. Placing her elbows on the desk,
she leans forward, twining her fingers together as her sharp eyes look at me
from the other side of her office’s desk. “Either way, I always make a point
to go over the details with students one on one so there aren’t any surprises
later on.”
Doctor Melissa Snow might be in her mid-fifties, but her sharp eyes
don’t miss a thing. Then again, she isn’t considered one of the best physical
therapists on this coast for nothing.
 She’s dressed in a black t-shirt and khakis with the Blairwood logo on
them. Her brown hair is pulled into a bun at the nape of her neck, not a hair
out of order. Wrinkles mar the corners of her blue eyes. The corner of her
mouth twitches for a moment, but she schools her features.
“All junior students have to take an internship during the course of the
semester to gain some practical hours and to see what you’ll be facing once
you graduate. Since I have my hands full working here in the clinics and
teaching classes, I’ve decided to only take on a few students that I’ve
worked with in the past and feel like they would be a good fit for this job.”
It isn’t a secret that Snow’s picky. She’s a hardass and doesn’t believe in
wasting time—ours or hers. She wants only the best of the best and she gets
it.
“And I’m really thankful I’m one of those students.”
“I don’t need your thanks, young man. I need you to work hard.” She
lifts her brow as if she expects me to contradict her.
“And that’s exactly what I’m planning to do.”
Dr. Snow observes me for a moment. I wonder what’s going through her
mind as her piercing eyes stare into mine across the desk. Not even the
glasses that are perched on her nose can help dull the intensity that
emanates from them.
“Good.” She nods. “I expect you to do ten hours a week in the clinic on
campus. You’ll be shadowing me for a while. I mostly work with injured
athletes to help get them back on the field. You’re not to work with them on
your own, but in between you’re more than welcome to help people in the
gym. There are a lot of different athletes at Blairwood at all times. I expect
you to observe them and then write an essay on a topic of your choosing.
You have until the midterm to come up and present me with a topic for your
essay. Once approved, I expect you to write a twenty-page essay on it by
the end of the semester.”
“It can be anything?” I ask, my mind already going through all the
topics I’d like to work on. I love sports and have loved them my entire life.
There’s just something about the mechanics of the human body and testing
its limits to the fullest that fascinates me.
An image of Pixie flashes before my eyes. The way her body defied
gravity as she rotated in the air on that last jump.
“Within reason. Sports medicine is a wide field with lots of different
subjects to choose from. Every human is unique, which means that they
react differently to the sport and all the mechanics of it, as you should be
well aware since you’re an athlete yourself, if I’m not mistaken?”
“You’re not, I’m on the hockey team.”
“Then you should understand this better than most. Take a few weeks to
see all the different problems athletes are facing and then come to me with a
topic you’d like to research in depth.”
Dr. Snow gets up and grabs the files, which she puts into a neat pile
before sitting down. “Let’s get down to business, Mr. West, shall we?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER SIX

OceanofPDF.com
REI
Jade lifts her head as I emerge from my room. She gives me a once-over
and quirks her brow. “What are you up to?”
She’s lying down on the couch, her feet propped on the coffee table,
laptop perched on her lap. The TV is on, Friends playing in the
background, but the volume is turned down low.
“I’m going out for a run. Wanna join?”
Jade makes a face. “Hard pass.”
“Suit yourself,” I chuckle. “What are you doing?”
“Just editing some photos, that’s all.”
“Can I see?”
Jade turns the laptop a little in my direction in silent invitation. I move
closer, leaning against the back of the couch so I can see the screen.
“Oh, those are stunning.” Jade scrolls through the photos. I recognize
some landmarks so I know they were taken in New York. There are some
with Grace, and whom I can only assume are her brother and his girlfriend
since I haven’t had a chance to meet them yet. “I saw this one on your
Instagram.”
It’s a black-and-white photo of Central Park with a woman sitting on the
bench looking into the distance, one lone tear sliding down her cheek. Just
like the first time I saw it, once again, it takes my breath away.
“Did you talk to her?” I ask, my gaze still locked on the screen.
“Actually, we did. She’s been doing a trip around the US. She was
supposed to be doing it with her boyfriend, but he was killed in
Afghanistan.”
“That sucks.”
“It does,” Jade agrees softly, her eyes fixed on the screen. “But that’s
life.”
It feels like there is a deeper meaning behind her words, but before I can
ask her what she meant, she blinks, and forces a smile out. “How long do
you plan to stay outside? Grace has a class for another hour. Want us to wait
for you to grab dinner together?”
I look down at my watch. “Sounds like a plan.”
We say our goodbyes and I leave the room. Just as I’m walking down
the hallway, I hear a door at the end open. A dark-haired girl turns around
and our eyes meet. I give her a smile as I jog lightly down the stairs and out
of the building.
My feet pound against the pavement in time with the music blasting in
my ears. Today I decided to forgo the gym and instead I put on my
sneakers.
While I’m not the biggest fan of running—and when I say not the
biggest fan, what I really mean is I hate it with my whole being—I figure a
little fresh air will do me good, and I’ll get to explore the campus,
something I still haven’t had a chance to fully do since arriving earlier this
week.
Since it’s early in the evening, the main courtyard is filled with students.
There is a big fountain just in the center of it, and some people are still
sitting out on the surrounding grass. More people are mingling around,
finishing their classes for the day, or maybe going to the cafeteria to grab
dinner or one of the places around campus to grab drinks with their friends.
Nobody pays me much attention as I jog by. I have no particular
destination in mind, just a road ahead of me and four miles that I need to
complete before I can call it a day.
I zigzag between the buildings, trying my best to keep my breathing in
check. You’d think between ice skating and gym time I’d have better
stamina, but running is in a completely different league.
At some point, I see a flash of orange in the distance, and when I move
closer, I realize it’s an athletic field.
A few people are already running, so I decide to join them.
I’m not even sure how long I’ve been at it when I see a shadow move
closer to me. I expect a runner to pass me by, but when he doesn’t, I look
over my shoulder. My heartbeat kicks up a notch, and I come face to face
with none other than Zane.
I stop in my tracks, my hand flying to turn off the music. “What are you
doing here?”
He tips his head to the side. “I could ask you the same question, Pixie.”
“Stop with that. It’s really irritating.” I glare at him. “Are you following
me?”
“What?” Zane takes a step back. He seems genuinely astonished by my
question.
“Are you following me?” I repeat, this time slower, propping my hand
on my hip. “Because I’m doing my damnedest to avoid you.”
 It was actually part of the reason I didn’t go to the gym today. Earlier
this week, I saw a glimpse of him in the gym. Or I think I did. It was just a
reflection in the mirror before he was gone. But I was really not in the
mood for another argument with him.
“Of course not.”
“So all of these run-ins are just a coincidence?”
I mean seriously, what are the chances of us getting in each other’s way
not once, not twice, but three times in a matter of days?
Somebody curses when they pass us by since we’re stopped in the
middle of the track, but I’m not planning to move until I get some answers.
“Trust me, babe, the last thing I have time to do is follow you around
campus.”
I grit my teeth. Seriously, I’m going to smack this guy.
“It’s Rei.” I jab my finger in his chest. “If you’re going to talk to me, at
least use my name, babe.”
Huffing, I start running once again. A quick glance at my wrist tells me
I have one more mile. My legs burn in protest, but I push through; that is,
until another pair of feet joins in time with mine.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I give Zane the side-eye.
“Hey, I’m just running here.” He lifts his hands defensively. “Besides, I
was here before you.”
His pace is steady, his breathing moderated. He looks like he’s taking an
easy stroll and not running. Then again, to his giant feet it must feel like a
stroll.
Still, it irritates me to no end that this is so easy for him.
“Oh, so the track is yours too?”
I move my eyes down his body, a huge mistake on my part. He’s
wearing an old tee that’s molded to his body, and a pair of basketball shorts
that hug his hips. There’s not a drop of sweat on his body.
While, at the same time, I’m a sweaty, breathless mess. How’s that fair?
“You said that, not me.” He keeps his eyes trained forward, but I can see
the corner of his mouth twitch. Amusement or irritation? With him, it’s
probably the latter.
“Can’t blame me for assuming after the other morning.”
I hope that will do the trick, but I’m wrong. After a few moments of us
running in silence side by side, he’s still there.
 “The track is wide open,” I point out. I’m not sure why it annoys me,
but it does. Why can’t he just let me be?
“I like to keep a steady pace.”
“Fine,” I grit and start running faster. Now I’m full-on sweating, and I
can feel the heat creeping up my cheeks.
Instead of falling behind me, Zane only picks up the pace.
Is he doing this on purpose? Because if he’s trying to get under my skin,
he’s succeeding.
To test the theory, I slow down, and surprise, surprise, he slows down
too, and when I pick up the speed so does he.
“Will you stop already?”
“I’m running.”
“No, what you are doing is trying to annoy me. If that’s your brilliant
idea for trying to get me out of here, it’s not going to work.”
“Get rid of you?”
“Yes, get rid of me. I’ve worked my ass off to get to Blairwood, and I’m
not letting an inconvenience like a grumpy giant hockey player chase me
away. Although I seriously don’t see what your problem with me is.”
His brows shoot up. “Besides the fact that you almost killed me with
your carelessness?”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Ugh.” Rei presses her lips in a tight line.
My gaze falls to her mouth. The movement would look unattractive on
some people, but not Pixie. It only helps to enhance the heart shape of her
upper lip and the natural lushness of her mouth. Her lips look soft, inviting,
kissable. As long as she doesn’t open them to speak, that is.
I’m sure if she weren’t running, she’d stomp her foot. This way, she just
glares at me and pushes herself harder. “You almost killed yourself with
your carelessness! Who the hell crosses the road without looking?”
“I don’t remember it that way.”
“Of course you don’t. You’re a man after all.”
I frown as she speeds up once again. “What the hell does that mean?”
I hurry to catch up with her. It isn’t hard. While Rei has pretty good
stamina, she’s already tired, while I’m barely halfway through my run.
I got to the track just ten minutes before her. It’s close to my house, so I
got into the habit of coming to run here a few times a week. Occasionally
one of my roommates would join me, but I actually prefer to run alone. But
then today, she showed up.
At first, I couldn’t believe I was seeing it right. But it was her, all right.
Miss Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki in all her Pixie glory.
She thinks I’ve been following her? Well, the feeling is mutual.
It feels like everywhere I turn, she’s there. I should have kept my
distance, but for some reason I couldn’t stay away.
She mutters something that sounds like, Okay, I’m done, before she
crashes down on the grass, panting. I slow down and come to a stop next to
her.
With the back of her hand, she wipes the sweat from her forehead. “You
did that on purpose.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, please.” She rolls her eyes. “I find it hard to believe that out of all
the people here you wanted to run with me. You just took the opportunity to
get back at me for chasing you off the ice the other day. Or are you trying to
run me to my death like you keep claiming I ran you over? Which is not
what happened.”
I scoff. “You didn’t chase me off, what you did is run me over.”
 Rei shakes her head, one dark strand slipping from behind her ear. “You
need to get your facts straight, Hockey Boy. Besides, you weren’t there
when I left the rink. Talk about the desperate need to skate.”
“I had classes.” I cross my arms over my chest. “That’s why I go to the
rink at the ass crack of dawn to begin with.”
“Ass crack of dawn, my ass.” Rei pushes off the ground and leans
against her elbow. “I’d already been in the rink for a good forty minutes
before you showed up. Might want to work on that early wake-up call.”
“So I’ve heard,” I grunt, remembering the conversation I had with the
clerk.
Rei looks at me for a moment, and then a knowing smile curls her lips.
“You went to the admin office, didn’t you?”
“Of course I did.” I run my hand through my hair in irritation. “I’ve
been skating in the mornings for the last two years.”
At this she laughs. Actually laughs. The sound is low and throaty.
Exotic, like everything else about Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki.
Rei stands up, brushing the dirt from her pants. She really is a little
thing, not even reaching my collarbone when at full height.
Done, she moves closer to me. I watch her every step, and that smile
that’s still playing on her lips.
She stops just in front of me and looks up through her eyelashes. She’s
not wearing any makeup, yet her eyelashes are long and dark, making her
eyes seem even bigger.
“You want to know a secret?” she whispers softly, so softly I have to
lean down to be able to hear her.
This close, I can feel the warmth of her skin. Her scent surrounds me. I
inhale sharply, unprepared to have her so close to me. Vanilla and
something else, something flowery, mixed with sweat, sun and fresh air.
One of her fingers touches my chest. It’s not a jab like before, more like
a soft caress of her finger that has me sucking in a shaky breath. “If you
were just a tad nicer, I would have given you half the rink.”
With that she walks around me before easing into a jog once more,
leaving me sitting there, my heart racing as I stare after her, trying to figure
out what just happened.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER SEVEN

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Why did I think it’d be a good idea to take this class?” Spencer groans as
we take two steps at a time. Classes have just ended so the hallways are full
of people trying to exit the building so they can go on with their day.
“Because you need it to graduate?”
“Don’t remind me. I can’t even just go for a passing grade because the
coach will bench my ass if I don’t keep my GPA up.”
“Then find a tutor or some shit.” I push the door open. “We can’t have
your ass riding the bench because you couldn’t get a decent grade in class,
Spence.”
Last year Spencer got behind on one of his classes, and he had to take a
break for a few weeks until he managed to lift his grade. The team was a
mess, and nobody cares for a repeat performance.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s not my problem you assholes can’t do anything
without me.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about us, I’m worried you’ll get rusty and some
hotshot freshman will take your spot.”
Spencer shoves me away. “Fuck you, asshole.”
“Hey.” I lift my arms in the air defensively. “I’m just telling the truth.
I’m not in the mood to learn some new kid’s quirks.”
Spencer and I have been playing on the same line since day one; we
worked our way from barely any skate time in our freshman year to the
second line last year, and with the graduation of some of the guys, probably
starting positions this year.
Spencer grows somber. “You’ve got that right. There are some pretty
good recruits this year.”
He’s right there. We’ve got a few pretty good freshmen on the team that
I’m interested to see in action. Plus, there’s that guy who just transferred
from Chicago.
“It’ll definitely make for an interesting year,” I agree, and look down at
my watch. I have a couple of hours until my next class. Just enough time to
stop for lunch and go to the library to do some work. “Hey, you wanna go
—” I lift my head and that’s when I see her.
Rei’s sleek black hair is pulled into a high ponytail that’s swaying with
every step she takes. For a small thing, she moves swiftly, with purpose. A
black duffle is tossed over her shoulder; she’s probably either coming from
practice or plans to go sometime later in the day.
I still wasn’t sure what to do with what happened the other day on the
athletic course.
If you were just a tad nicer, I would have given you half the rink.
I wasn’t sure what to make of her. Did she mean it as an invitation? Was
she calling for a truce? Or is she expecting an apology?
I follow her with my gaze, unable to look away. She calls out to
somebody, and a dude in a suit lifts his head. Rei walks over to him, a big
smile on her lips.
“Go where?” A hand appears in my line of vision. “Yo, Zane! You
listening?”
“What?” I ask, my eyes still glued to the couple behind Spencer’s back.
Who wears a freaking suit in the middle of a college campus? People
rarely bother changing out of their pajamas before heading to class, for
fuck’s sake.
The guy’s arms tighten around her, and he pulls her so close their bodies
are plastered together.
I press my lips in a tight line.
“Hey isn’t that—”
“C’mon, let’s go.”
“—the Skater Girl?” Spencer finishes, completely ignoring my warning
glare.
“The Skater Girl?”
“Yeah, the one from the rink.” Spencer grins. “You know, the one you
were checking out in Moore’s.”
“I haven’t been checking out anybody,” I grumble.
“Right, and I’ll be joining the monks.” Spencer looks over his shoulder,
just as Rei and the dude walk away. “Seriously, she’s hot.”
“And I’m seriously not interested.” I keep my eyes focused forward.
“You going to the cafeteria or what?”
Spencer rolls his eyes exaggeratedly. “Is the sky blue?”
“Not sure why I even bother asking.”
“Back to the topic.”
“Of you finding a tutor? Yes, Spence, I think it’s an amazing idea. As a
matter of fact, you should go to the tutor center right now.”
“No, asshole, of you and the chick.”
 “I told you, there’s nothing to talk about. Now can you drop it?”
“Hey, I’m just trying to help. Maybe if you get a good fuck you’d be
less of a dick.”
“I’m fine. I have too much on my plate as it is, no time for girls.” He
opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something, so I quickly add, “Any
kind of girls.”

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“What are you doing again?” Grace asks.
I look down at the text message on my phone before returning my
attention to my friends. “I have to meet with my coach.”
“So no time for lunch?” Jade pouts.
“Sorry, rain check?”
Grace sighs. “Fine. How about movies tonight? That new romcom just
came out the other day.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Just then I spot Alex. “That’s him. I’ll see you
guys later?”
“Sure.”
I start to wave, but before I can move, Jade grabs my hand.
“Wait.” Jade tugs me to a stop. “That’s your coach?”
I look at Alexei and then back at her. “Yeah, that’s my coach.”
“Ummm… Why didn’t you tell us you have a hot coach?”
Alexei… hot? I frown at the idea. “Eww… he’s my coach.”
“Hot coach,” Jade repeats, still staring at Alexei. “When you said coach
I had an image of an old dude in my mind.”
I pull my hand out of her grasp and shake my head. “You’re crazy.”
“I’m just calling it like I see it.”
“I’ll say it again, you’re crazy.” With a chuckle and a wave, I turn my
back to them and cross the street, calling out over my shoulder, “I’ll see you
guys later.”
Compared to some people, I make a point to check if any cars are
coming my way before doing so.
“Look who finally decided to show up,” I tease loudly as I come closer
to the man standing by the Range Rover, typing on his phone.
He stands out like a fish out of water in his dark Armani suit and light
blue tie. His shoulder-length dark brown hair is pulled back in a little
ponytail at the nape of his neck.
He finishes typing before looking up, his crystal blue eyes landing on
mine. “And you’re late.”
I look down at my watch and then turn it around to show him. “Still two
minutes to go. Glad to see your grumpy ass hasn’t changed, Alexei.”
 Alexei Dmitriev has been my coach since the moment he retired from
professional figure skating five years ago. He was one of the best skaters of
his era, going to the Winter Games three times in his career and all three
times standing on the podium.
“I’m not grumpy,” he protests.
“You’re always grumpy.” I lift to the tips of my toes and give him a hug.
“But it’s good to see you.”
He returns my hug, his familiar arms wrapping around me tightly, and
giving me a squeeze before letting go.
“I just wish it was in different circumstances.”
“What’s wrong with here and now?” I ask, looking around.
He gives me an unamused glare. “You know what’s wrong.”
Just like my father, Alexei wasn’t the biggest fan of me coming to
college. His exact words were along the lines of “wasting all my potential,”
or something like that, anyway. I stopped listening after I realized he
wouldn’t stand by my side. On the other hand, I guess I should have
expected it. Alex never went to college, instead dedicating all his life to
figure skating, first as a skater and now as a coach.
“It’s a lovely campus, and I’m enjoying my classes so far. Not that you
bothered asking.” I hoist the strap of my duffle higher on my shoulder and
start walking.
“Oh, come on, Rei.” Alex follows after me. “I just don’t like the idea of
you spreading yourself too thin, that’s all.”
“I think by now I should know what I’m capable of.”
I hate when Dad and Alex treat me like a child. I know they’re doing it
because they care about me, but dammit, I’m not a five-year-old any longer.
“I didn’t say you’re not capable.”
“Not in so many words, no.”
Alex puts his hand on my shoulder and tugs me toward him. “Don’t be
like that, Rei.”
“Fine.” I tip my head toward the door of Cup It Up. A truce of sorts.
“How about coffee and then we can talk strategy?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Since it’s in between classes, there is a line when we enter the café. I
volunteer to grab us both a coffee and send Alex to get us a table while I
wait. Today there is a guy standing behind the counter. When it’s my turn, I
recite my order—plain black for Alex and skinny latte for me—and then
shift to the side while I wait for it to be done.
“So how is the training going?” Alex asks as I put his coffee in front of
him and take my seat across the table.
“Good.” I take a careful sip from my cup. “I’ve scheduled rink time for
every morning since that works best with my classes, and I make sure to go
to the gym either between classes or in the evenings.”
“And you’re sticking to it?”
“Have I ever not stuck to it?” I lift my brow at him in a silent challenge,
my lips pressing in a tight line.
I’ve been a skater my whole life. I’ve given up so many things just so I
could skate. I sacrificed time spent with my friends, school, prom,
everything really, just so I could do this one thing I love, and to have him
question my dedication to my dream hurts the most.
“Of course not.”
I wrap my hands around my cup and fix my gaze on his. I need him to
understand this, because I’m not sure we can make this work if he’s not
going to put in the effort.
“I won’t lie, Alex. It’s not going to be easy. I know that. I’ve known that
since I decided to apply for college. Hell, that’s why I’m only taking half
the workload! But it was the right choice. I really do love it here. I have
made friends that have nothing to do with skating, and I’m enjoying my
classes so far.” I put my hand over his. “I’m going to make this work.”
Somehow. Some way. There is no other option.
“I’m happy to hear that, but you yourself said your end goal is to go to
the Winter Games.”
I cross my hands on the table in front of me. “And that hasn’t changed.”
Going to the Winter Games has always been a dream of mine. It would
be the crown of my career and the highest accomplishment I could achieve.
Four years ago, I couldn’t even qualify since I wasn’t old enough, but this
year I could. This year I will.
Alex looks at me for a moment, his piercing blue eyes staring at me.
“Good.” He nods. “I want us to work on your long program. I was
thinking of maybe changing that first combo? Maybe trying triple Axel,
triple toe loop?”
“Hmmm…” Pulling my hand from his, I pick up my cup and take
another sip of my coffee, pretending to think, when in reality my palms are
slightly clammy. “How about we try something different?”
My voice is calm and steady. Like we’re discussing just another show.
When in reality it’s anything but.
“Like what?”
This is it.
The moment I’ve been waiting for, the moment I’ve been thinking
about, for the last few months while I gathered the courage to bring it up,
because I know all too well once I do Alexei will freak out.
“Like a quad.”
“Quad?” Alex’s head snaps up in surprise. “As in quadruple jump?”
“Yes, quadruple jump.”
Alexei pulls back, his eyes growing wide. “Are you insane?” he hisses.
“What I am is rational.” I lean forward. I know nobody here cares about
figure skating, but I don’t want this showcased to the world. “Listen to me,
more and more skaters do quads now.”
“Yes, more men do it nowadays, but women, it’s just…”
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest.
Talk about an understatement. While quadruple jumps have become a
must-have in men’s competitions on the international level, there are still
very few ladies in the world who have landed a quad jump.
“Women have started to do it too, and you know it.”
“Barely any. Do you remember Amy Herrera?” I nod my head and Alex
continues, “She was practicing quads, but the last I heard she ended up in
the hospital because she had fractured her ankle. The impact a quad jump
has on a human body is insane, Rei. The risk of you injuring yourself is too
high. If that were to happen now, with only months before the
qualifications…” He shakes his head, leaving the rest of the sentence
hanging between us.
He doesn’t need to finish it. We both know the risk, but every time I
step on that ice I could get injured. There is nothing certain, not when
you’re a high level athlete.
“Amy Herrera is five-foot-seven and in her early twenties. I’ve done my
research. The girls who managed to land them are younger girls. Smaller
girls.”
I wave my hand to showcase my body. Not even my dad’s genetics
could predominate over Mom’s Japanese ancestry. I haven’t grown half an
inch since I was twelve, probably, and I’ve always been small. Small boobs,
and no ass. Besides, I’m only eighteen.
I could do it. It wouldn’t be easy, I’m not foolish enough to believe that,
but I’ve never been afraid of hard work. I won’t start now.
Alexei runs his hand over his face. He’s exasperated, but I can see that
I’m wearing him down.
“We could try, maybe a quad toe loop or Salchow…”
“No.” I shake my head.
“No?” Alex’s brows furrow. “But didn’t you just say—”
“I know what I said.” I look down, my fingers curling around the cup. I
take a deep breath before rushing the rest out. “I want to do a quad. And I
want to do them all.”
“You want to do them all?” Alexei asks softly, as if he’s trying to grasp
what I’m saying. I look up, and this time he isn’t just surprised, he’s
completely pissed off. “Do you have a death wish?”
So much for that going well. Maybe I should have agreed to his
proposition. Start working on something simpler and let Alex get used to
the idea, show him I can actually do it, before voicing my intentions out
loud.
“I don’t have a death wish, what I am is ready. I’ve already been
practicing…”
“On your own?” Alexei’s voice rises once again. When it does, his
accent thickens, making his voice sound rougher.
I look around and sure enough a few people are already staring at us,
including the guy standing behind the counter.
“Keep your voice down.” I glare at him across the table.
“I can’t keep my voice down. Do you know how dangerous that is?”
“Everything we do is dangerous, Alexei.” I roll my eyes at him. “Every
time I step out on that ice, I’m preparing to defy the laws of gravity.
Besides, it’s not like I’ve never fallen before.”
“This is different and you know it. The force with which you land a
quad jump is seven times your body weight. Seven times.” He shakes his
head. “Out of all the stupid things you could have done…”
“I’m going to do it, Alex,” I interrupt him, not in the mood to listen to
more of his objections. “With or without your help.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Alex lifts his hand and pinches the bridge
of his nose. He sighs, letting his hand fall back down, his gaze fixing on me.
“I don’t want to see you get hurt, Rei.”
“Then show me.” I lean my elbows on the table. “Show me how to do
it.”
Alex is quiet for a moment. His lips are pressed in a tight line, so I
know he’s pissed at me.
“Fine.” He pushes away from the table and gets up. “You better get
some rest because we’ll start tomorrow. And we’re not working on the
Axel.”
I open my mouth, but the glare he gives me shuts me up.
“And that’s the end of the discussion.”
I watch him leave, and only when the door behind him closes do I let a
smile form on my lips. Whatever he might think, I won this round.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER EIGHT

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“I think this should do it.”
Once again, I check the new part I installed before turning on the water
to make sure that it’s running smoothly into the sink.
“I would have called the plumber, you know?”
Turning off the tap, I grab a towel and wipe my hands before joining
Grams at the table. She’s drinking her tea as she watches me work a cookie
jar open on the table. It’s been one of her rituals as long as I’ve known her.
“Why would you when I know how to fix it?”
There is no sense in spending the money she can save when she has not
one, but three guys in the family.
“I don’t want to bother you boys. I’m sure you have better things to
worry about than an old lady.”
“Hayden and Callie were here just last weekend,” I point out, looking at
the cookie jar. I already ate half a dozen and I still have to make it back to
campus, and pick up Hayden for our late afternoon workout with guys.
“And Kevin’s here too.”
“Kevin is always busy with one thing or another in the garage.” Grams
takes a sip of her tea. “The house is empty without you boys.”
“Seriously?” I lift my head, a cookie in my hand. If I have to puke later,
so be it. “I always thought you’d be relieved when we finally left. No more
fights and smelly socks.”
Grams nods absentmindedly, her soft pink hair bouncing lightly. “Well,
you sure were pretty hot-headed at times. Too similar for your own good.”
“That we were.”
Hayden moved here after his junior year, a little after Grams took me in
full-time. His mom had just left, his dad had gone to prison for fraud, and
he’d been expelled from some fancy school in California because he’d been
accused of cheating. He had a chip on his shoulder, but so did I.
We were two boys angry at the world, and it was easiest to take it out on
each other.
The first time I met Grams, I was seven years old. My mom had gone
MIA for a few days, something that, at the time, happened more often. I
was so hungry that I could barely see, and since there wasn’t anything in
our piece of shit apartment, I went out and tried to steal it. Grams caught
me, but instead of reporting it, she bought me some food and sent me on my
way.
After that I didn’t see her for a while, until I was ten, and I ran away
from home after Mom’s boyfriend at the time beat the shit out of me for
accidentally spilling his beer. I hid in the church basement, hoping nobody
would find me. Grams was helping there at the time and saw me hiding.
When I didn’t want to tell her what happened, she forced me to come home
with her, where she took care of me. Somehow my mom found me there
after a week or so. They fought, and after a while I agreed to go home with
her just to get her away from Grams. Even then I knew Mom’s moods and
that once she got something in her head, there was no swaying her. And
Grams didn’t deserve to deal with that shit.
After that I was in and out of Grams’s house for years until the day
Mom was busted with drugs and sent to jail.
And now she’s back.
“Sometimes I even wonder how you made it out of here in one piece.”
Grams’s soft voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Beats me.” I look around, antsy to change the subject. “What about
you, Grams? Anything new happening around here?”
Grams waves a hand. “Same old, same old. Nothing much changes
around here. I went to bingo yesterday. Can you believe that that hag Betty
cheated again?”
“Did she?” I chuckle.
The rivalry between Grams and Betty is epic. They’ve been at it since
they were just girls. At least that’s what she told us once Hayden asked
what their deal is. It was the town fair’s pie contest and the first time we
had front-row seats to one of their epic—at least that’s how people refer to
it—fights. For a moment, I actually believed they’d start punching each
other, but nobody seemed overly surprised. Whatever competition is going
on in this town, the two of them are there on the front line battling it out.
Grams shakes her head. “Seriously, does she really think we are all that
dumb and don’t see through her bullshit?”
“Did you end up beating her ass?”
Grams’s eyes twinkle with mischief. “Whatcha think?”
“Of course you did. I don’t even know why I bothered asking.”
I keep Grams company for another half an hour, listening to her stories
from bingo night as I finish two more cookies.
 “Don’t be a stranger,” Grams says as she kisses me goodbye.
“I won’t, in fact maybe I’ll be coming here more often.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “What’s with that?”
“I’m thinking of picking up some extra shifts at the garage.”
If it’s possible, her eyes narrow even further. “You just finished working
there. Besides, shouldn’t you be concentrating on studying and hockey?”
Dammit, I shouldn’t have said anything.
“Don’t worry, I have enough time for all of it.” I try to sound casual, but
I must not be convincing.
“Then what is it? Last year you weren’t working during the school year.
Is it money? Because you know I’ll…”
“No, it’s not the money. I just like feeling useful.”
Which is a stretch, but not completely untrue. I do like to feel useful,
but I wouldn’t need to do it if I hadn’t already given half of the money I
earned this summer to Mom. I might have a hockey scholarship, but it
doesn’t cover my room and board. And while Maddox never asks us for
money since he owns the house, I’m not going to have somebody else pay
my way. Fuck that. And asking Kevin if he could call me when he has some
extra stuff to do around the garage seems easier than going through the
whole process of finding a brand new job. Besides, all the decent jobs
around campus are probably already taken.
“Well, if you say so, but don’t you forget that school comes first, young
man.” Grams wiggles her finger at me in warning. “I’m planning to see you
and Hayden graduate next year.”
“As if I’d ever forget that. You know that once I get that diploma it’s all
for you.”
I never thought about college before moving in with Grams. It was her
and later on my hockey coach who convinced me I should go to college.
That I actually have a shot at making something out of my life. It was
because of the two of them I got a scholarship and a chance to get where I
am today, and I’m not about to let somebody take it away.
Not even my mother.
“Hey Grams…”
She turns to me, a smile on her lips. “What is it?”
I want to ask her about Candie. Did she know Mom got out? If so, why
didn’t she tell me? But I don’t want to dampen her happiness.
 I gave Candie the money she wanted and sent her on her way.
Hopefully, she won’t be coming back.
As if that ever worked.
“No, nothing.” I shake my head; I can’t put this on her. I already put her
through too much as it is. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
She wraps her arms around me for a moment before letting go. “Be
careful on that thing.”
“I’m always careful.”
With one last hug, I climb on my bike and put on the helmet. The garage
is just on the outskirts of town, on my way back to campus. I slow down,
and when I see the door is still open, I pull over.
I figured I’d call Kevin, but if he’s still here, I might as well do it now.
“Anybody here?” I ask as I enter. The smell of oil and gasoline hits me
in the face as I look around the quiet space. Two cars are pulled inside the
garage, a sedan and a Jeep, but there’s nobody in sight.
“Here,” yells a muffled voice. I walk around just to see Kevin slide
from underneath the Jeep. “Zane? What brings you here?”
He sits upright, taking a rag from the floor next to his tool kit to wipe
his dirty hands.
“I was just at Grams’s, so I figured I might stop by.” I look around.
“Seems quiet around here.”
Kevin owns the garage, he bought out the previous owner just around
the time I moved in with Grams. He has another full-time mechanic and a
part-time receptionist. Occasionally he takes on somebody else to help out
when things get busy. Ever since Grams took me in, I’ve worked with
Kevin through the summers, helping with whatever was needed.
“Tim had to take care of something.” He tilts his chin toward me. “How
can I help you?”
Kevin’s the least talkative person I know, which suits me just fine. He’s
never one to beat around the bush.
“I wanted to see if you could maybe call me if you need an extra set of
hands?”
Kevin stares at me, his face impassive. “I thought you’d be
concentrating on school during the year.”
That was the plan—that is, until Candie showed up. But since I gave her
some of the money I had saved, I’ll be running low on cash sooner or later,
so I figured I might as well get a job now.
 “Yeah, well, I figured it can’t hurt, right?” I shrug. My shoulders feel
tense. “So, will you give me a call?”
Kevin looks at me for a little while longer, but finally, he nods. “Sure
thing.” There is the sound of an engine coming from outside. He runs his
hand over his stubbled jaw. “That’s probably my next customer.”
“I’ll get out of your hair. Thanks, Kevin.”
He waves me off and goes to greet his next customer, so I get back on
my way.

Hayden lifts his head when he hears me enter through the garage door. Not
only do we each have our own room, but the house came with a garage that
easily fits two cars and my bike. It’s practically a mansion.
“Hey, how did it go?” he asks, returning his attention to the blender. He
adds a handful of nuts and some blueberries to spinach that’s already inside.
“How’s Grams?”
“Good, still fighting with Betty.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Those two will die fighting each other.”
“I’m surprised they haven’t already killed one another.” I put the bag on
the counter and start pulling out the contents. “Grams sent cookies and God
knows what else. Did you know the sink was dripping?”
“Is it? She didn’t say anything.” Hayden adds some ice to the blender
and turns it on.
Of course she didn’t.
“She doesn’t want to bother us,” I yell over the sound of the machine
working. “Her words, not mine. I took care of it, so it should be good. But
we’ll have to go there in a couple of weeks to mow the yard.”
Hayden turns off the blender and fills his glass. “We’ll figure it out.
Hey, is that Grams’s meatballs?”
I lift the container so I can look through the plastic. “I think so. And
lasagna.” I open the freezer and start putting the containers away.
“She shouldn’t work so much.”
“I guess she’s just bored? She said the house feels empty.”
“Two punks make a lot of noise, huh?”
 I close the freezer and turn around to glare at him. “Who are you calling
a punk?”
“Hey,” he protests. “I called us punks. Although I’d like to think we
grew out of it.”
“In your dreams. I’m going up to change and then we can go…”
I’m just at the door when Hayden stops me. “I actually wanted to ask
you something.”
“What’s up?” I turn around and lean against the doorframe.
Hayden looks down at the time displayed on the microwave before his
gaze darts over my shoulder to the hallway. When he finally turns to me, I
just lift my brow in a silent question.
“Callie should be home soon.”
Talk about a weird way of starting this conversation.
“And she shouldn’t hear this?”
Hayden runs his hand through his hair. “She’d have my balls for this.”
“What’s going on?”
I figured the two of them are solid. We spent the whole summer together
at Grams’s and they seemed fine to me, but maybe there’s something going
on there that I don’t know.
“You know she hasn’t been doing her PT since last semester?”
“I figured she’s working out at home.”
“A bit here and there, but you know how that goes.”
Yeah, I know. It’s hard to keep the regimen going when you don’t have
somebody to work with you and push you forward. Especially when we’re
talking about people with injuries like Callie’s.
“Okay, so? She was working with Snow last year, I’m sure if she goes
back…”
“That’s the thing, she doesn’t want to go back. She insists she’s okay,
but I can see that she’s in pain.”
“Maybe she should try something different? Take a yoga class? That
would help with stretching out her muscles.”
Hayden is shaking his head even before I finish.
“Could you work with her?”
“Me?!” The question comes out louder than intended, but I didn’t see it
coming.
“I know you’re not her biggest fan, but I seriously don’t know what to
do. Every time I bring it up, she says she’s okay, but I can see she’s
hurting.”
“And you seriously think I’m the best guy for the job?” I ask
skeptically.
Although I’m happy for Hayden, Callie and I never got along well.
There was a silent agreement of sorts between us to act amicably when we
were together because we both care about Hayden, but I still can’t overlook
shit she pulled on him back in high school.
“I think working with you will motivate her. Even if only so she can
prove you wrong.”
“Of course she’d like that.”
Hayden looks at me hopefully. “So, will you do it?”
Like I’d ever say no to him. Hayden is the family I chose for myself. He
and his grandmother took me in and gave me a home when I didn’t have
one. And although I know they’d both insist I don’t owe them anything, I
beg to differ.
“Fine, but if I strangle her, it’ll be your fault.” I turn around to go grab
my stuff when I remember. “Oh, and you’ll be the one to bring her to the
first session the next time I’m in the gym.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER NINE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“So what are you up to now?” Jade asks as we move through the mass of
people as we exit the cafeteria where we just had lunch.
“Coffee! I need to recharge.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from wincing out loud as
we descend the stairs. My whole body is aching from this morning’s
practice since I spent more time with my ass on the ice than actually
skating, but it’s all part of the process.
Jade checks her phone. “I could grab coffee before my next class. Cup It
Up?”
“You know it.”
Jade and Grace weren’t joking when they said the café slash bakery has
the best coffee on campus. And the place is so cozy you could sit there all
day without even realizing it.
“But seriously, is there a day when you don’t wake up at the crack of
dawn?”
“I wish. Am I too loud?”
Talk about embarrassing. I tried my best not to make much noise as I
was moving through the common area in the mornings, but I know all too
well how thin the walls separating the dorm rooms are. I can hear
practically every word and every sound coming from our next-door
neighbors.
“Nah, I was up last night until late, or early, depending on how you look
at it, and I heard you leave.”
“Early practices have always worked the best for me. Honestly, I’ll
probably be adding an afternoon session too.”
Two hours of ice time just won’t cut it. Not if I plan to add a quad to my
program by Nationals, which is in January. Barely four months away.
“An afternoon session?”
“Yeah, I used to do four hours on the ice and two in the gym, all seven
days a week.”
Jade visibly shudders. “I don’t envy you at all.”
“I didn’t think you would. How are your classes going?”
“Boring.” Jade rolls her eyes. “You’d think we go to college to learn
something new and expand our education, but so far it feels like all we’ve
been doing is recap what we’ve already learned.”
“I’m sure it has to get better at some point.”
“The photography classes are fun, gen-ed not so much. What about
you?”
I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Since I’m only taking three
classes this semester, I decided it should be all physics classes since that’s
my major. We’ll see what happens next, but so far I’m loving it.”
“Lucky you.”
We chat a bit more on our way to Cup It Up. The cafe is quiet when we
enter. The girl behind the counter lifts her head, a smile spreading over her
face.
“Hey, Yas,” Jade greets her with a smile.
“Hi, Jade. What’s up?”
“Just stopping by to grab some coffee before my next class.” Jade turns
to me and rolls her eyes. “Rei, this is Yasmin, my brother’s girlfriend. Yas,
Rei, my new roommate.”
“So nice to meet you, Rei.” Yasmin smiles brightly, her dark brown
ponytail swaying as she looks between us. “What can I get you girls?”
We place our order—a skinny latte for me, plain black for Jade—and
Yasmin gets down to business.
“How are you liking Blairwood so far?”
“I think I’d like it better if I didn’t have a bossy big brother hanging
over my shoulder all the time. You think you can try to do something about
that?”
Yasmin laughs. “There’s no way I’m getting in the middle of you two.”
She slides our drinks toward us.
“Bummer.” Jade sighs, placing a bill on the counter. “I better get going
since I don’t want to miss my class.” She looks at me. “You coming?”
I lift my cup in the air. “I’m going to finish this here before going to the
gym.”
“Have fun.” The bell jingles, and a group of girls enters. “I guess I’ll see
you guys later.”
Her completely unenthusiastic response makes me chuckle. I wave her
away and smile at Yasmin before I go to one of the free tables in the back.
There are a few students drinking coffees while they read or type away on
their laptops.
 I should probably do the same since I’m already here. Classes have
barely started, but I already have some problems to solve and reading to
catch up on. Instead, I pull out my phone and press play on the first video
that pops up in my gallery.
I let it play out, then I rewind the video and press play once more. My
eyes are fixed on the screen as I watch the video on repeat.
I skate in an arc, then press my toe pick into the ice as I take off into the
air. I count the rotations in my head, my teeth nibbling at my lower lip as I
watch myself fall time and again.
The agitation I felt in that moment returns in full force. My aching body
reminding me of my failure. It’s been a week since Alexei and I started
working on quads, you’d think I would have made at least a little progress
by now. To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement. I’m a two-
time national figure skating champion, silver world champion. Why can’t I
do it?
And this is the simplest freaking jump.
If I can’t do this, how am I ever even going to attempt the Axel?
“Yo, Skater Girl, what’s up?”
I pause the video and look up to find Zane and his hockey friend—
Steve? No, Spencer—standing in front of my table. My eyes stop on Zane’s
stony face for a heartbeat longer. I haven’t seen him since that day on the
athletic course except in passing, but it seemed he did his best to stay out of
my way.
It shouldn’t disappoint me, but a part of me was actually looking
forward to seeing him. Yes, he can be infuriating, but a part of me liked the
challenge.
“You don’t mind the company, do you?” Spencer asks, flashing me his
big grin. Not waiting for an answer, he slides into the chair opposite me.
“This place is packed.”
I turn my attention to Spencer, letting the full force of his charm hit me.
I mean, I know he’s cute. I saw it that day at the rink. Even without all the
hockey equipment, he’s still tall, a couple of inches shorter than Zane, but
of similar build. His dark hair is disheveled, a playful twinkle in his light
blue eyes. A complete contrast to Zane’s broody attitude.
Refusing to face the guy in question, I look around. And sure enough,
Spencer wasn’t lying. The place is full. I’ve been so intent on watching the
video that I didn’t even notice when it happened.
 “Not at all. I didn’t even realize how long I’ve been here.”
From the corner of my eye, I can see the other chair move. Zane’s eyes
are fixed on the side of my face as he sits down. His presence seems
overwhelming.
“What have you been doing?” Spencer asks.
“Oh, it’s not—”
Before I can finish, he moves closer, lightning fast, turns my phone
toward him, and presses play. The video resumes and I observe him as he
watches it. I’ve seen it so many times already, I know exactly what he’s
looking at.
Spencer flinches, his mouth falling open. “Holy shit, is that you?”
“Yes.” I leap across the table. My body protests the sudden movement,
reminding me it’s been bruised one too many times recently and sitting here
for the past—I check the time—forty minutes definitely didn’t help. Still, I
suck it up and grab the phone out of his hand. “Not that it’s any of your
business.” I give him a warning glare.
“That looks like it fucking hurt.” He points his finger in the general
direction of my phone and takes a big bite of his sandwich.
“Not any more or less than you being shoved into the boards, I’m sure.”
I lift my brow at him, taking my coffee that sits forgotten. It’s cold, but it’s
still caffeine.
“Sweetheart,” Spencer rasps. He leans closer, his blue eyes fixing on me
intently. This close I can see speckles of brown and gold scattered over his
irises. It’s what girls would describe as a smoldering gaze. I’m sure it’s
broken countless hearts, but I’m not just any girl. “I don’t get shoved into
the boards. I’m the one doing all the shoving.”
The arrogance of the man.
I roll my eyes, barely containing my laughter. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Mister
Perfect.”
“Just saying it like it is.” Spencer grins, flashing me his perfect teeth.
“And even if I got shoved, I’m six-foot-two, two hundred thirty pounds of a
guy and you’re…” Spence waves in my direction.
“And I’m what?” I lift my brow, challenging him to finish his sentence.
“Well…” There is a slight pause as I wait for him to dig himself out of
the hole he dug. With the tips of my fingers, I impatiently tap at the table.
Spencer rubs at the nape of his neck. “You know what I mean.”
“I’m not sure I do.”
 “Tiny.”
I kick him in the shin under the table. “I’m five feet tall, thank you very
much.”
“As I said, tiny.” Spencer looks at his friend expectedly. “Right Zane?”
“I’m not getting in the middle of this.” Zane’s gruff voice makes tingles
run down my spine.
I turn toward him slowly, reluctantly. I could feel his gaze boring into
the side of my head from the moment he sat down, his presence big and
looming. I tried to ignore him sitting there next to me, but my body was
aware of everything he did. Every move he made. Every soft inhale. His
gaze fixed on the side of my face.
Zane’s leaning back in the chair, his arms folded across his broad chest,
lips pressed in a tight line.
I lift my brow at him. Nothing to say?
He shakes his head. No way in hell.
The corner of my mouth tips upward, but I bite the inside of my cheek.
“Coward,” Spencer coughs, breaking me out of the spell. “But seriously,
that didn’t look right.”
Reluctantly, I turn my attention toward Spencer. “What? Are you an
expert in figure skating now?”
“Not even close, but I’m not blind. You looked a bit wonky there at the
end.”
“Thanks.” The sarcasm drips from my tone. It’s not even Spencer I’m
angry at, but me and my ineptitude. Sighing, I run my hand through my
hair. “The jump wasn’t fully rotated.”
“That happen a lot?”
“Does your puck miss the goal a lot?” I bite the inside of my cheek as
soon as the words are out. I’m not usually this bitchy, and Spencer doesn’t
deserve my attitude just because I’m angry at myself. “Sorry.” I pinch the
bridge of my nose. “I’m in a shitty mood since I’m working on something
new, and it hasn’t been going as expected.”
“I get it, trust me.” He tips his chin toward his friend. “Why don’t you
show it to Zane?”
“Zane?” I frown. Why would I show it to Zane, of all people?
“‘Cause he’s good with figuring shit like that out.”
“Spencer,” Zane says in a warning tone.
 “It’s fine.” I finish my coffee and get up. With a smile firmly plastered
on my face, I make a point to avoid Zane’s gaze. “I actually have to go.
Practice and all that.” I pick my bag off the floor. “I’ll see you guys later.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
My eyes dart toward the door leading to the rink, but it’s quiet per usual.
Concentrate Rei.
I’m not sure what I’ve been expecting, really. That Zane will show up?
Try to apologize for being an ass? Yeah right, fat chance of that happening.
Besides, what then? It’s not like I have time to mess around, not with a
competition just around the corner.
Shaking my head, I make an arc over the ice, skating backwards.
Sticking my toe pick, I lift myself in the air, crossing my arms over my
chest as I rotate.
One. Two. Three. Fo—
“Dammit,” I mutter when I land, wobbly, on the ice.
At least I haven’t ass-planted this time, so I guess there’s that. Gotta
love small victories.
“Where’s your head at, Rei?” Alexei yells at me from outside the rink.
He’s leaning against the board and watching me intently.
“I almost did it,” I protest. I’m getting there, I can feel it. The jump is
still under-rotated, but I’ve had more wobbly landings and fewer full-on
falls. It’s going to happen, sooner or later, I’m going to land it properly. I
just need to keep on practicing.
“You have to jump higher.”
“I’m jumping higher.”
“Not good enough.” Alexei shakes his head. “You need to put more
force when you take off from the ice. Let’s try it this way.”
He takes off his jacket before crouching down, disappearing out of my
line of sight. When he reappears, he’s holding onto a jumping harness.
Without missing a beat, Alexei joins me on the ice. “Come on. Suit up.”
I press my lips together as a smidge of irritation sweeps in, but I slide
my arms into the harness, clipping it into the place on my chest.
Alexei lifts his brow, his blue eyes watching me intently. “Ready?”
I nod, and together we start to skate. Alexie is in front of me, while I
skate backwards, gaining momentum until I leap into the air with his help.
It’s slightly easier since he’s helping me carry some of the weight, but not
enough to actually land the jump.
Together, we do it again, and again.
 Twenty tries later, I’m nowhere near landing the quad. It doesn’t matter
how hard I push off the ice or how high I jump; the results are the same. It’s
something else.
I bend forward, leaning my hands against my knees to rest for a
moment. I’m hot and my face, hell, my whole body, is all sweaty.
“That’s enough,” Alex says as we come to a stop near the player’s
bench.
“What?” I lift my head to look at him, and it’s good that I do because
just then he throws a towel at me. I grab it mid-air, my fingers curling
around the soft material. “Not yet. I can do it, I know I can, I just need…”
“That’s enough for today.” Alexei’s voice leaves no room for argument.
“Even if you land it, we won’t be including it in the program. And I need
you to concentrate on the program.”
Ugh, I hate it when he’s being so reasonable.
“Fine.” I wipe the sweat off my face and unclasp the harness. “We’ll do
the program.”
Under Alexei’s watchful eye, I go over both my long and short program
twice. There are some minor mistakes, but they have more to do with the
fact that I’m tired than the program itself.
“Okay, we’re done for today.”
“What?” I look at my smartwatch, and sure enough, we’ve been on the
ice for over two hours now. “Can’t I try the quad one more time?”
Alexei shakes his head. “We’re done, Rei. You promised,” he reminds
me. “I’m not risking you getting injured.”
“Fine.” I skate toward the exit where Alexei’s waiting for me. “You’re
no fun.”
I grab my guards, putting them over the blades, but before I can go to
grab my things, Alexei steps in my way. He places his hands on my
shoulders, forcing me to look at him. His blue eyes are lighter today. I’m
not sure if it’s the ice or this place in general, but they always seem lighter
when we’re in the rink.
“Did I ever bullshit you?”
“No,” I admit.
“I just want what’s best for you.” There’s a slight pause. “You know I
care about you?”
I sigh. “I know.”
 “I want to see you succeed, but in order to do that, I need you to listen
to me. Especially when it comes to quads.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated because I thought…” I shake
my head. “I don’t even know what.”
One corner of his mouth lifts. “That it’d be easy?”
“Not easy necessarily, but, yeah, easier than this.”
This makes Alex chuckle. “Well, if somebody can do it, it’s you.” His
hands give me a soft squeeze. “Take a day off tomorrow, recharge, we’ll
pick up the day after. I need your head clear for the upcoming competition.”
“Do I have to?” I pout. I hate days off. Like what the hell am I supposed
to be doing with all this free time all of a sudden?
“Yes, I need your head clear and mind focused.” Alex pulls his hands
away. “Want to grab something to eat?”
“Nah, I think I’ll go to the gym.” Alex gives me an unamused look. “To
stretch.”
Alex pulls back and points his finger at me in warning. “Remember
what I said.”
“Yeah, yeah, how could I forget?”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“C’mon, you can do it. Just a few more,” I coach, keeping my eyes on
Callie’s stance.
“W-what i-is a few m-more?” Callie grinds through clenched teeth. Her
cheeks are red with exertion, making the scar on the side of her face even
more prominent than usual; a few blond strands have slipped from her bun
and are sticking to her sweaty face.
“Two more.”
“God, I hate you.” With the back of her hand, she wipes her forehead.
“Who thought this would be a good idea?”
“Your boyfriend.”
“Well, I hate him too.”
“Then why did you agree to do this?”
“He was mumbling something about his best friend and girlfriend
bonding, then he bribed me with sex until I gave in.”
“Too much information, Callie,” I groan. The last thing I need is to talk
about my best friend’s sex life. It’s enough that I can hear them going at it
every night since they live in the room just next to mine. “Don’t stall.” I pat
her shoulder. “Two more and then you can go stretch.”
“I hate you,” she mutters half-heartedly, but does as I said, completing
her session.
“Was that so hard?” I lift my brow at her.
Callie glares at me, stumbling to her feet. “You find a perverse pleasure
in torturing people, don’t you? I mean, I shouldn’t even be surprised.”
Glaring at her, I grab the water bottle and hand it to her. That’s when I
see her.
It doesn’t matter that her back is to me, I’d recognize her anywhere.
Rei.
Her dark hair is pulled into a high ponytail that swings as she jumps
rope. Little buds are tucked in her ears, her gaze fixed on her reflection in
the mirror. It’s the same hard look she had when she left Cup It Up the other
day. The one she couldn’t hide, no matter how much she tried.
I take her in slowly, my heart speeding up. She’s dressed in another pair
of black leggings and a sports bra. The straps criss-cross over her shoulder
blades, patches of olive skin visible for everybody to see.
 For me to see.
Smooth. Silky. Tempting.
So damn tempting.
“Zane?” Callie calls, reminding me I’m not alone and I’m probably
gawking like a fool.
“Yeah?” My voice comes out raspy. I clear my throat, turning my
attention to her.
Callie just looks at me for a moment before turning around, her eyes
settling on Rei. “Who is that?”
“A girl.”
“You don’t say.” From the corner of my eye, I can see her roll her eyes.
“I’d never guess that on my own. Do you know her?”
“Not sure how that’s any of your business, Cals.” I turn around,
effectively shutting Rei out of my view.
“What? I’m just asking!”
“You’re meddling when you should be stretching. Or would you prefer
another series of exercises?”
Callie’s eyes narrow at me. “You can’t distract me, you know?”
“I’m not trying to distract you, I’m helping you work on your leg. You
should be grateful.”
“For you bossing me around?” She snorts. “Yeah, I think I’ll pass.”
I rub my hand over my face, otherwise I might really be tempted to
strangle the woman. Like I need this shit in my life. I knew this was a
fucking bad idea, but there is no way I’d ever say no to Hayden.
“On the other hand, maybe I should go stretch.” There is a slight pause.
“You know, in front of the mirror, so I can see my stance and all that.”
I watch her for a moment, letting the words settle in. Callie lifts her chin
slightly in the air.
She can’t be serious.
“Callie—”
Before I can get my hands on her, she’s already walking toward Rei.
I’m going to fucking kill her.
Taking one of the mats, she places it in front of the mirror a few feet
from where Rei is jumping. Callie looks over her shoulder and tips her
head, silently daring me to join her.
Clenching my fingers around the water bottle, I curse silently.
 “What do you think you’re doing?” I grit through my teeth as I come
within hearing distance.
“Stretching. You should try it too. You look a little bit tense there.”
Yup, I’m definitely going to strangle h—
“Zane?”
My back stiffens at the sound of her soft voice. I can feel her gaze at the
nape of my neck, prickles of awareness making goosebumps rise on my
skin.
Slowly, I turn around to face Rei, doing my best to keep my eyes on her
face. Her cheeks are pink, her chest rising and falling rapidly from the
cardio she’s been doing. Faint hairs curl around her head, and there is a
sheer layer of sweat on her face. Her neck. Her cleavage.
Cursing myself, I snap my attention to her. “Rei.” My voice comes out
gruff.
I can feel Callie’s curious gaze on us, but I give my best to ignore her.
You don’t really want to strangle your best friend’s girlfriend.
“I didn’t know you’d be here today.”
“I work here.”
“Oh.” Her brows furrow as if she’s trying to solve a puzzle.
“Actually, his shift is done.” Callie jumps to her feet, nudging me to the
side with her hip. “But he stayed to work with me since I just got out of
class. Anyway, I’m Callie.”
Rei’s brows rise, her gaze darting between Callie and me. “Rei. It’s nice
to meet you.” Her response seems genuine. I’ve seen people’s reactions
when meeting Callie for the first time before. The car accident she had in
high school left her with a slight limp and extensive damage on the left side
of her body, including her face. People are usually either appalled by her
appearance, doing everything they can to avoid her gaze, or they openly
pity her. Rei does neither. Instead, she smiles, accepting her hand for a
quick handshake.
“I didn’t realize you work here.” Rei shifts her attention to me.
Something flashes in her dark eyes, and she narrows them slightly.
“It’s part of my internship.”
“He’s studying sports medicine,” Callie adds.
“Is he?”
It’s a simple question, but to me it feels like there is much more hiding
behind those two words. Maybe because I know exactly what she’s thinking
about—our last conversation.
“Callie.”
“What?” She glares at me, but when I don’t answer, just glare right
back, she shakes her head. “I’d tell you he’s more fun usually, but I’d be
lying.”
“Thanks,” I comment dryly. “Shouldn’t you be stretching? I’d hate for
you to be all sore later. I might actually get one peaceful night of sleep.”
Callie’s cheeks turn beet red at the innuendo.
“Fine.” Callie grabs her mat. “I’m going to stretch, but you better not
come closer. You never know, I might slip and kick you in the balls by
accident. It was nice to meet you, Rei.” With that, she turns her back to me
and moves farther down until she finds an open space to finish stretching.
I shake my head. Talk about drama.
“That wasn’t nice.”
I look down at Rei. “She’ll live.” There is a slight pause as we watch
Callie get on the mat and into the first stretching pose. “She’s my best
friend’s girl,” I explain, although I’m not even sure why. “She just moved in
with us this semester. What’s not nice is having to listen to their headboard
bang against our joint wall more often than not late into the night.” I tip my
chin toward the rope. “How is training going?”
As soon as the question is out, I know I asked the wrong thing. Her
expression hardens, the invisible walls lifting around her.
“Good.” She looks down and starts wrapping the cord with quick,
efficient movements. “Although I’m not sure how that’s any of your
business.”
Fuck, I deserved that.
Two pissed women in a span of seconds. It’s gotta be some kind of
record.
I run my hand over my face. “Rei, I—” I start, but she’s not listening.
Instead, she drops the rope back into her bag and goes to the stack of
weights. Without missing a beat, she picks a set of dumbbells and stands in
front of the mirror a few feet away from me.
“About the other day…” I try again, but she just shakes her head.
“You don’t have to say anything.” Her gaze is fixed to her reflection as
she lowers into lunges.
“Then why are you angry?”
 “I’m not angry. I have a competition coming up this weekend, and I
need to work out. You mind?”
“Of course not.” There is a slight pause as I watch her work. She’s
relentless in what she does. Every movement is slow and precise. Drops of
sweat gather against her hairline, and her muscles start to quiver the more
repetitions she makes, but she doesn’t slow down. “Mind if I join you?”
Rei shakes her head no, so I pick my set of weights and join her on the
mat.
Together we work on a series of leg exercises, different types of lunges
and squats. And once she’s done with weights, she exchanges them for a
resistance band.
Putting my weights away, I grab my towel and wipe my face, watching
her work. She lifts her leg to the side, working her abductor muscles, all the
while keeping her back straight, her hands propped on her hips. After ten
reps, she shifts to the other side.
“You coming?” Callie asks, stopping by my side.
I turn around to find her knowing eyes on me. I’ve been so fixated on
Rei, I didn’t even hear her coming.
“I think I’ll stay a bit longer. Finish my workout.”
“Mm-hmm… workout.” I give her a warning look, at which she rolls
her eyes. “Well, Hayden’s done with his class, so I’m going to meet him for
dinner.”
“Sounds good.”
She leans in closer, dropping her voice. “For what it’s worth, she seems
like a nice girl.”
She is.
I look at Rei. She’s still going at it, her teeth sunk in her lower lip as she
does the reps.
She’s beautiful and smart, but also headstrong, determined, sassy… All
a guy could want in a girl, but nothing that a punk from the wrong side of
town could ever have.
Should ever dream of having.
Chuckling quietly, Callie gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Thanks for
doing this for me.”
“No worries, it’s part of the job.”
“Even when you want to strangle the person you’re working with?”
“Especially then.”
 “If you say so. I’ll see you later.”
I nod. “Later.”
Now Rei has switched to the mat, resistance band still in place as she
goes through more leg and glute exercises.
Not wanting to interrupt her routine, I grab the jump rope peeking from
her bag, deciding to wait her out.
I’m not even sure why I’m here. God knows my shift ended way before
Callie showed up, but I can’t leave just yet. Something about the whole
situation is rubbing me the wrong way.
It’s her reaction when she found out I work here.
It’s not that I don’t want to help her, I just don’t know how. Hockey?
Football? Basketball? Hell, even golf. I could do that, but figure skating?
It’s as much of a mystery to me as this girl.
Ten exercises later, Rei finally gets up and goes to her bag. She grabs a
towel and wipes it over her face, soaking up the sweat, then grabs her water
bottle and drinks half of it in one go.
It’s like she’s transfixed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody as
determined as Rei, and I’ve worked with my fair share of Division-I
athletes.
But maybe that’s it. The line that separates the good from the truly
great.
And Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki is truly great. I don’t have to understand
figure skating to know that.
Dropping her things in the bag, Rei crouches down and pulls out
something square from her bag.
Throwing the rope on the floor, I put my hand on her shoulder.
“You’ve done enough for today.”
She flinches under my touch and turns around to face me, her eyes
wide. It’s like she’s forgotten I’ve been here all this time.
“Just a li—”
“Enough. You’ll tire yourself out and you don’t need that before the
competition.”
Rei crosses her arms over her chest and tilts her head back to see me
better. “Are you my coach now?”
“No, but I know when I see somebody who’s overworking themselves.”
I look at the square thing she tucked under her arm. “What’s that thing,
anyway?”
 “This?” She pulls it out and shows it to me. “That’s a spinner.”
Rei places it on her open palm. The thing—spinner—has a black, raspy
surface. Some kind of mechanism connects two square boards in between.
“What do you use it for?”
Rei looks at me like I’m funny. “For spinning, obviously.”
“Obviously.”
She places the spinner on the floor. “You might want to move.”
I open my mouth to protest, but she stops me. “Just to show you.”
I take a few steps back so I don’t get in the way.
Rei places her foot on the spinner, her body slightly bent forward, arms
raised, and pushes away with the other foot. Her back foot rises in the air,
hands extended backward until her body is parallel to the ground and she’s
spinning.
I watch in fascination as Rei finds and holds her center, making at least
fifteen rotations before finally slowing down.
“See? Spinning.”
“Sweet.” I move closer, placing my leg on the spinner to test it out.
“Does it help?”
“So-so. It really depends on the spin. It’s good for practicing, but you
can’t recreate the whole entrance-spin-landing thing going on as you can on
the ice.”
“Nothing can replicate ice.”
Our gazes lock, a silent understanding passing between us. The corners
of her mouth rise in a small smile. We must look like fools, just standing
here staring at one another and grinning.
“I guess I should stretch and get out of here.” Rei tucks a runaway
strand behind her ear. “That was why I came here in the first place, anyway.
Alex will kill me if he finds out.”
“Your coach?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you listen to anybody?”
She shrugs, lifts her arms in the air and stretches them above her head.
“Does my body count?”
“You’re something else, you know that?”
I watch her as she lets her hands drop and turns toward her station. She
looks over her shoulder, that half-smile still tipping her lips. “I’ll take that
as a compliment.”
 With that, we each go back to work, going through our stretching
routines and finishing at almost the same time. I grab my things and wait
for Rei to put hers back in her duffle, pulling a hoodie over her head.
“Do you think you’re ready?” She looks up at me, confused by my
question. “For the competition, I mean.”
“Yeah.”
“So you figured out the issue you’ve been having?”
She walks toward the door, and I follow after her.
“Oh, that. No, still working on that quad.”
“Quad?”
“You really weren’t joking when you said you know nothing about
figure skating.” She chuckles. “Quad jump; a jump with four rotations.”
“How many can you do now?”
“Three and a half.”
“Where do you get that half?”
“It’s called an Axel. The jump has a forward takeoff, which gives it that
additional half rotation. The rest of the jumps in figure skating all have a
backward takeoff.”
“So it shouldn’t be that hard to do a quad.” I push the door open and let
Rei get out of the gym.
Cool night air hits us in the face as we get out in the night.
“You’d think that, right? But every jump is different and adding a
rotation to it takes a lot of practice.”
Rei looks down and starts digging through her duffle.
This is my chance.
I place my hand over hers, stopping her. She’s so small, my fingers
easily wrap around her forearm. “I’m sorry.”
She tilts her head back and looks at me. “For what?”
“Everything?” The answer comes out more like a question. A lame-ass
excuse for an apology and we both know that. But I’m not used to
apologizing.
“You’ll have to be more specific than that.”
Of course I will.
“I’m sorry for being an ass that first day and yelling at you.”
“Just that first day?” Rei quirks her brow at me.
“Will you let me finish?” I cross my arms over my chest.
Rei jabs her finger in my arm. “You don’t scare me, Hockey Boy.”
 I let my hands drop. “I don’t want to scare you, Pixie.”
That’s the least of my intentions. I’ve seen in the past how easily men
could intimidate women, and as I’ve grown, I’ve become more and more
aware of my height and strength. I saw what it could do to a woman or a
child, and I never wanted somebody to be intimidated by me.
“You don’t. I’m just pointing out that you like to argue with me.”
I scoff. “Like you’re any better.”
“What can I say? You bring out the worst in me.”
I’m not sure what she’s bringing out in me, but it’s something, all right.
“I should probably have paid more attention when crossing the road.
And the rink, well, I had a shitty night, and I was hoping to let off some
steam. I wasn’t really expecting to find anybody there.”
“Not really used to having girls on the ice?”
“I have nothing against girls on the ice.” Rei quirks her brow. “I don’t. I
just wasn’t expecting you.”
Rei stares at me with those dark eyes of hers.
“I wasn’t expecting you either, so I guess that makes us even.”
She places her palm over mine, her soft fingers grazing my skin. A
shiver runs up my arm.
“And about the other day.” I clear my throat. “It’s not that I didn’t want
to help, it’s just that I know shit about figure skating.”
“I’m starting to realize that.” She pulls her hand back, letting it fall
down by her side. It shouldn’t make a difference, but it does. “It’s not your
job. Besides, I’m going to figure it out. Eventually.”
Rei gives me a smile and returns her attention back to the bag.
“You walking home?”
She shakes her head. “I drove.”
Finally, she finds what she was after before I stopped her, and pulls out
a keychain. It’s one of those big plush balls that’s bigger than the key itself
and takes a shit ton of space. One press of the button, and a red Mercedes
beeps, lights flashing.
“That’s me.” She looks over her shoulder at me. “You need a ride?”
I shake my head no. “I’m good. My bike is over there.”
She looks at the lone bike parked further down the lot and then back at
me. “I didn’t take you for a bike guy.”
“What did you take me for?”
 “Hmm…” She observes me for a long moment, as if she’s expecting an
answer will appear on my forehead. “I’m not really sure.”
I guess that makes the two of us.
“I should go. I still have homework to finish, but maybe I’ll manage to
get some rest because my coach gave me a day off tomorrow.”
She goes to her car. I watch her walk away only to realize I don’t want
her to leave, not yet. “Are you telling me I can get my spot back?”
“I think you’re referring to my spot.” Rei turns around, but doesn’t stop
walking away. “I already told you what you have to do to get half the rink.”
“Maybe I don’t like sharing.”
“Not even if that’s the only way you can get what you want? The puck’s
on your side of the rink, Hockey Boy.”
With one last smile, she turns around and walks to her car.
I watch her open the door and toss her duffle inside.
“Hey, Pixie?” I call out once again.
Rei looks up, that little frown etched between her brows.
“What will you do tomorrow?”
What the hell are you doing, Zane?
“I told you, rest. Or try to, anyway.”
“Wanna go with me and do something fun?”
“As in together?” Rei asks, clearly confused.
“Sure, didn’t I just ask that?”
“Like the two of us?” She points at the space between us. “Together?”
“Pixie?”
“What? I’m just checking? I didn’t think you liked me.”
“Are you coming or not?”
“What would we be doing?”
“You’ll have to wait to find out.” I start to walk backward to my bike.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon at your dorm.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER ELEVEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Didn’t I say I’d pick you up at the dorm?”
I turn around on my skates and face Zane. He’s leaning against the door
to the rink, his brow raised as he looks at me.
“You weren’t coming, and I was bored.”
“Weren’t you supposed to be resting?”
“I am. I didn’t have my morning skate. Instead, I slept in and went out
to have breakfast with the girls. I even ate pancakes. How about that,
Coach?”
“Pancakes? Oh, the horror.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Didn’t we say you’d stop being a
dick?”
“Did we?”
“Yes, we did.”
“Well, I guess I’m a work in progress.” He taps his hand against the
Plexiglass. “Get your ass out of the rink, Pix. We’re late.”
“Well, if you’d given me the time you’d pick me up, that wouldn’t have
happened.” I get out of the rink. “How did you know where to find me,
anyway?”
“I stopped by your dorm. You know, where you were supposed to be
waiting for me?”
“Yeah, yeah. So where are we going?”
A half-smile spreads over his mouth. For a moment, I just stare at him.
He’s usually scowling at me, but with an actual smile, no matter how tiny it
might be, he looks… handsome and definitely more approachable.
“Change and you’ll see.”

“This is your idea of getting my mind off of skating?” I ask, looking at the
building in front of me while Zane stashes the helmets back in their place.
I definitely hadn’t thought about the logistics of coming to wherever
Zane was taking me. I guess I figured it would be something on campus,
but nope. His bike was parked in front of the rink, waiting for us when he
told me to hop on.
My thighs and arms still feel shaky from holding onto him tightly so I
wouldn’t fall. I might have screamed a time or two when Zane navigated
the bike between the passing cars. I’d be embarrassed if I wasn’t sure that
between the wind and the helmet the sound was muffled so he couldn’t hear
it. If he did, I’m sure I wouldn’t have heard the end of it.
“You won’t be skating.”
I tilt my head back to look at him. “But we’re at an ice rink,” I point out
the obvious.
“To watch a game.” Locking the compartment, Zane stashes the key in
his pocket and starts walking toward the entrance, and I hurry after him.
“Have you ever been? To a hockey game?”
“Can’t say I have.”
Zane stops in front of the door and turns toward me. “Are you serious
right now?”
“Umm…” I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Yeah?”
“But you skate.”
“Figure skate.” I walk past him and push the door so I can enter. “I
don’t have much time to watch hockey. Nor did my schedule at the rink
ever align with any hockey teams.”
“But you must have seen a game. At least on TV or something.”
“Again, I didn’t really have time. If I wasn’t practicing, on and off the
ice, I had to study. Homeschooling is all fun like that.”
“Unbelievable,” he mutters, shaking his head.
We pass by the front desk, and Zane nods at the guy who’s talking on
the phone. I’m not really sure where we are or whose game we’re about to
watch, but judging by the look on the guy’s face, he must know Zane.
Together we walk through the hallways toward the rink at the back.
“Why? I’m sure I’m not the only girl who has never seen a game. I’m
just not one of those who’ll pretend she has just to look better in your eyes.”
“And you think a girl looks better in my eyes if she pretends to like the
sport I play?”
“Isn’t it like that?” I quirk a brow at him. “Guys love it when girls
flatter them.” Placing my hand over my chest, I give him my most
flirtatious look. “Oh, babe, you were amazing out there tonight. That pass
was stellar. You were a real beast.”
 I wave my hand in front of my face, as if I’m cooling myself, but I can’t
help it, I burst into laughter.
Zane grips the handle of the door, but doesn’t open it. Instead, he looks
over his shoulder, serious eyes settling on me, but I can see a hint of
amusement in their depths. “I don’t need flattery. But if a girl starts talking
sports with me, she better know what she’s talking about.”
Then he pushes open the door, motioning for me to go through. “But
you, Miss Fancy Figure Skater, better prepare to be dazzled because you’re
about to watch one of the most beautiful sports ever played.”
“Ummm… I don’t know about that.”
I slip past him, the cool rink air hitting me in the face. I inhale deeply,
letting it fill my lungs. Even frustrated like I’ve been lately, entering the
rink is like coming home. It’s literally in my blood.
A big, warm hand lands on the back of my spine, pushing me forward.
“You’ll see.”
I suck in a breath as Zane leads me closer. His fingers barely brush my
spine, but I can feel his touch in every fiber of my body.
Hard rock is blasting through the speakers, but I can still hear the
familiar sound of skates cutting over the ice. We get all the way down to the
first row. I can’t help but notice that the rink is unusually quiet, with barely
anybody in the stands. Even my dad, who’s always been crazy busy with his
work, found time to come and visit at least once a week in the rink, while
some skater’s moms would be there all day long.
Maybe it’s different for hockey players?
I look out at the rink where the players are battling it out.
The game is fast-paced. I’ve always been a good skater, but looking at
them I don’t think I’d ever stand a chance.
Figure skating is about poise and perfection, the silent strength that
comes from mastering a harder technique as you improve. Higher jumps,
longer rotations, perfect landings. Speed plays a part, but it’s not as
important. Not as much as the art of skating, the creativity of the
movement, the ability to tell the story by only using your body.
Hockey, on the other hand, is all about speed and strength. The ability to
read your opponent and outmaneuver him before he can do the same to you.
Two guys in different jerseys fly past just in front of me, and one of
them pushes the other into the boards, making the whole thing rattle from
the impact. I jump back a little, surprised by the sheer force of it, and bump
into Zane. He places his hand on my waist, holding me steady.
My belly quivers at the touch, my skin feeling unusually warm.
“Is it always so violent?” I ask, watching the guy steal the puck and
send it flying to one of his teammates, who pushes his way through two of
the opposing players, before swinging back and sending the puck flying
toward the goal. It goes right between the goalie’s legs and into the net.
“Occasionally.”
The guy who scored lifts his hands up in victory as he does his
celebratory lap around the rink, his teammates joining in on the fun.
“Let’s play another one!”
The guy who scored the goal laughs. “Don’t be a sore loser, Darius.”
“You wanted to play with the big boys. Don’t go crying to your momma
when you lose.”
Darius shoves the guy away, scowling. “Ain’t nobody crying.”
Zane sighs, muttering something under his breath as Darius and his
friend continue with their argument.
“You know those guys?”
But before he can answer, one of the guys on the ice sees us.
“Yo, Zane! What’s up, bro?” He skates closer, removing his helmet. His
curly dark hair is sweaty and plastered to his scalp, a big smile on his face,
his teeth flashing against his dark skin.
“Nothing much.” Taking a step back, Zane goes to the door and the
guys exchange one of those weird guy handshakes that have way too many
moves for me to follow. “Just wanted to come here and see what you losers
were up to.”
“Losers? Hear that, guys?” He turns over his shoulder to look at the rest
of his friends, who have all moved closer. “West goes off to some fancy
college and suddenly he thinks he’s better than us.”
Zane chuckles. “Fancy college or not, I could wipe your ass on this ice
any day of the week, G.”
“Burn.”
Instead of being offended, the guy, G, just raises his brows. “Care to put
your money where your mouth is?”
G opens the door to the rink, but Zane shakes his head.
“Nah, man, not today. We’re here just for fun.”
“Hear that, boys? So much for any day of the week.”
 The guys laugh, and I can’t help but chuckle at their easy banter.
They’re a mixed bunch, both when it comes to their ages and ethnicities,
but they seem to get along well. How does Zane fit in, though?
Zane just shakes his head, but doesn’t seem to mind the ribbing one bit.
“I don’t have my stuff today, but you name time and place and I’ll
gladly do the rest.”
“We’ll see about that.” G looks over Zane’s shoulder, his chocolate eyes
landing on mine. He tips his chin toward me. “I see you brought company.
She your girl?”
The comment gets attention from what feels like every person in the
rink, making all the eyes turn to me.
“We’re friends.”
The younger guy, Darius, smirks. “Is that what you old dudes call it
these days? Friends?”
Zane smacks him on the head. “Don’t be a dickhead in front of the
ladies, D.”
Zane turns around and motions me closer. “Rei, these are the guys,
guys, this is Rei. We go to school together.”
I lift my hand and make an awkward wave. “Hey, sorry for barging in
like that.”
“It’s all good, honey. We love to have company.” G winks at me.
Zane looks down at me. “What he means is, they love to show off for
company.”
Darius slowly takes me in from head to toes. He’s younger than the rest
of them, probably still goes to high school. “The prettier the better. West,
you’ve been holding out on us, man. If I knew there was such fine as—”
Zane crosses his arms over his chest. “Watch your mouth, Darius.”
“What? I was just complimenting her.”
“Complimenting?” another guy asks, chuckling. “Kid, that kind of
complimenting will end with her knee in your crotch. If you’re lucky.”
A few of the guys nod their agreement.
G elbows Darius in the side. “So much to learn, little D.”
“I’m not little,” Darius protests just as G pulls his head into a head-lock.
“You look little to me.”
I watch as Darius struggles to get out of his friend’s hold. “Are they
usually like this?”
“Oh, they’re even worse.”
 It’s hard to imagine serious Zane joking around with his friends like
this, but somehow he seems more relaxed since he got here.
“So what brings you here, Zane?” G asks, letting Darius out of the
headlock.
Zane shrugs. “Just wanted to see how your ugly asses are doing. But I
see everything’s still the same. You’re still sloppy after you shift the stick
from left to right. Gotta work on that, Gage.”
“Fuck off, West.”
Zane lifts his hands in the air. “Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”
“I scored.”
“True, but the puck swayed a bit to the side there, almost bumping
against the goal post.”
The guys keep discussing the trajectory of the puck and Gage’s stick
handling technique, and I just stand back and watch them.
Zane looks… different somehow. Like he’s at home. And it’s not just
the rink, it’s this rink. These people.
Spencer said Zane’s knowledgeable when it comes to sports, and I can
now see exactly what he meant. He sees bodies as machines, and he’s able
to dissect every movement into pieces until he finds out what’s wrong and
how to make it work out.
Could he see it in me too? I know he said figure skating isn’t his thing,
but if he looked close enough, maybe he could pinpoint exactly where
something seemed off.
“You a hockey fan, Rei?” Darius asks suddenly, breaking me out of my
thoughts.
I look up, only to realize I’ve been so stuck in my head I haven’t noticed
the crowd dissipate a little. Some people have left the rink, while a smaller
group decided to go back to practicing.
“Can’t say I am. But I had fun today, so maybe I should change that in
the future.”
Darius’s mouth falls open. “You hanging out with chicks who know
nothing about hockey, West? What the hell, dude?”
By his reaction, you’d think I just confessed to killing somebody.
“I skate though,” I offer, hoping that earns me some extra points. Not
sure why I’d need them. They’re Zane’s friends. Not like I’m going to hang
out with them on the regular or anything.
 “Honey, ice skating a few times during the winter in rinks full of people
ain’t skating.”
His voice is loud enough to draw people’s attention back to us.
Somebody whistles, and there are some catcalls from the group.
He did not just say that.
I move closer so I’m standing right at the edge of the door. I’m not sure
if that’s a good thing, because although Darius isn’t as tall as Zane, he
certainly towers over me.
Still, I tilt my head back to look at him. “I bet I could beat you, honey,”
I say sweetly, batting my eyelashes.
“Beat me?”
“Ohh, that’s good,” someone shouts from the back.
“Rei.” Zane puts his hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off.
“Not now, Zane.”
“You want to skate against me?” Darius asks, sounding surprised.
“Sure, why not? Or are you afraid?”
Guys holler with laughter. There are hip bumps and slaps on the
shoulder.
Darius pushes them away, his dark eyes zeroing in on mine, a smile
spreading over his lips. “You’re on. We’ll have to find you skates, though.”
A bulky guy with a sandy beard looks at me. “Yeah, maybe in the kids’
section.”
“Don’t you worry about me. I think I can manage.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWELVE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“So what’s really up?” Gage steps out of the rink and pulls off his helmet,
tucking it under his arm.
“Nothing.” I shrug. “Just wanted to check in with you guys. How are
things around here?”
I can’t come as much as I’d like, but I still make a point of checking in
with my friends from time to time. I might have left Ashton Heights, but I
haven’t forgotten about where I come from. I haven’t forgotten about the
people who helped me get to where I am today.
“As usual. You know how it is around here.”
Yeah, I did know.
I tip my chin toward the ice where Darius just scored a goal. “Is he
staying out of trouble?”
We might not be brothers, but both Gage and I embraced Darius as one
of our own. He reminds me so much of me when I was younger, only better.
If only he makes it out of here in one piece.
“He’s trying to. Coach’s been keeping him busy. Pushing him hard.”
“He’s good,” I say absentmindedly, still watching them play. He’s
driven, and fast. A bit sloppy, but that can be ironed out with more practice.
“Almost as good as you were.” Gage turns to me with a serious face. “If
you tell him I told you that, I’ll deny it until my last breath.”
“I won’t tell him,” I chuckle. “How’re your folks?”
“Good. Mom’s been asking when you’ll get your ass over for dinner.”
Gage grins and bumps his shoulder with mine. “She never cooks that good
if you’re not around.”
“You’re just jealous because your mom loves me more than she does
you.”
For a while, Gage and I lived in the same building, but then when we hit
middle school, they moved to a house some thirty minutes away. Still, his
mom always made a point to invite me over. They didn’t have much, but
they always welcomed me with open arms.
“She was just hoping you and Shelby would hit it off. She’ll be so
disappointed when I tell her you’re taken.”
“How’s Shel?” I ask, ignoring his comment. His sister and I have never
been more than friends. She’s a cool girl, pretty, with ebony skin just like
her brother’s but a much nicer face. “How’s nursing school going?”
“She’s killing it, just a bit more and she’ll be done.”
“I’m so happy to hear that. She deserves the best.”
“That she does.” Gage nods. “But seriously dude, what’s with you and
Rei?”
I should have known I wouldn’t be able to avoid this question forever. I
open my mouth, unsure of what to say, when the door shuts behind us. We
turn around and find Rei coming toward us.
“Damn, that’s some seriously fine—”
I glare at Gage, daring him to finish the sentence. The asshole smirks at
me knowingly and whistles softly before turning his back to us.
You better, buddy.
Forcing myself to unclench my teeth, I turn around to Rei. “What
happened to taking it easy?”
She disappeared into the bathroom a few minutes ago, and now she’s
once again dressed in those black tights and a tight top, the duffle tossed
over her shoulder, skates in hand. Every single eye in the rink’s on her, but
it’s like she doesn’t notice it at all. Instead, she busies herself with slipping
her feet into her skates and tying the laces.
“This is easy.”
“You weren’t supposed to skate.”
Rei stands straight. Now with the additional inches the blades give her,
the top of her head reaches to just under my collarbone. She tilts her head
back, huffing, and crosses her arms over her chest. “I wasn’t supposed to
jump or think about my inability to land the quad right. Which is exactly
what I’m not going to do. Now, will you please move out of my way?” She
shoves her bag into my chest. “And hold this for me, ‘kay?”
She walks around me and out to the rink. Gage is standing by the door
and opens it for her. “Need help, princess?”
“Babe, honey, princess…” Rei ticks off each nickname with the tip of
her finger. “Anything else you boys want to call me? You know I have a
name, right?”
He laughs. “We’ll see soon enough.”
“I guess we will.”
Rei lifts her legs one by one, taking off the guards, and hands them to
me. Gage looks down at her skates for the first time, his brows furrowing.
He looks to me, then to Rei, who’s out on the ice. I shake my head, stashing
the guards in my back pocket before leaning over the railing so I have a
clear view of the rink.
“Some pretty fancy equipment she’s got there,” he mutters, so only I
can hear him.
“Shut up.”
“Only because Darius deserves it, and I think this will be fun to watch.”
I should have known this would happen. It’s like she’s drawn to the rink
on a deeper level. I tried convincing her to leave her duffle in the locker
room, but she didn’t even want to hear about it. Then again, those skates of
hers probably cost a fortune.
She wouldn’t stand a chance in rentals. I’d know since I’d worn my fair
share of shitty skates before getting the real deal, and the difference is
astonishing. Besides, figure skater’s skates are just differently made and
anybody with half a brain can see it.
The shooting game they were playing while waiting for Rei stops. She
shakes her hands and legs to warm up her muscles.
“What level of humiliation are we talking about here?” Gage asks, his
eyes on Rei.
Darius hands off his stick to one of the guys, and cracks his fingers.
“Just shut up and watch,” I grumble.
“How are we gonna do this?” Darius asks when Rei glides within
earshot. He’s already acting all smug. He wrote Rei off as an unworthy
opponent before she even stepped into the rink, which will cost him dearly.
Don’t get me wrong, Darius is a good skater, and I can really see potential
in him, but I’ve also seen Rei on the ice and she’s extraordinary.
Just like Gage said, it’ll be definitely fun to watch.
“Whoever gets the from one side of the rink to the other the fastest
wins?”
“Fine, but I’m not giving you a head start.”
Rei rolls her eyes. “I didn’t ask for one. Hell, we can skate forward and
then backward. The same distance.”
Darius narrows his eyes at her. Did he figure her out? Not many
recreational skaters know how to skate backward.
“Fine.” Darius shrugs. “Your funeral.”
Gage chuckles. “I’m going to film this shit.”
I don’t even bother commenting.
 All eyes are on Rei and Darius. They both skate to the one side of the
rink while the rest of the guys clear out of their way.
“You can still change your mind.” Darius offers.
Rei’s brows rise. “Who’s the scared one now?”
The muscle in his jaw ticks. I’m not sure if he’s pissed or amazed by
her. Probably a little bit of both. I know I am. “On three. One.”
“Two.”
“Three,” they say in unison, pushing off and skating across the ice.
Determination is written across Darius’s face as he pushes himself to the
max, Rei just slightly behind him. Her hair is fluttering behind her, her
cheeks pink from cold.
Skates swish over the ice, and before you can blink, their hands touch
the wall on this side of the rink in unison.
Guys whistle and murmur, but I can’t take my eyes off of her. Her chest
is rising with exertion, but Rei throws her head back and laughs.
“She almost smoked you, D!”
“Fuck off,” Darius yells back, but his eyes are glued to Rei.
“Back?” Rei asks, a smile playing at her lips. “Maybe I should be the
one to give you a head start.”
“Keep on dreaming, baby.”
Rei laughs as they turn face first to the Plexiglass. Her eyes catch mine,
and I can see the amusement playing in her brown irises.
Once again, they count to three before they both start skating.
“Fuck, she’s good.”
Gage isn’t wrong, she is good. Better than good, really. Then again, it
shouldn’t surprise me since I’ve seen her in her element. Even when she
isn’t at one hundred percent, she’s magnificent. It’s like she was born on
ice, so it’s not really surprising that this time it’s Rei who gets to the other
side a few seconds faster than Darius.
She squeals happily, raising her hands in the air. By her reaction, you’d
think she won some championship or something. Guys join in,
congratulating her on the win and at the same time ribbing Darius.
I wish I had my skates here so I could join them on the ice, but instead I
stay just where I am, watching from the sidelines.
“Who the hell are you?” Darius pants.
Rei extends her hand toward him for a handshake. “Rei Mitchell-
Nagasaki. Two-time U.S. figure skating champion.”
 Darius’s mouth falls open. “You’re fucking with me.”
She gives him an apologetic smile. “Afraid not.”
“You’ve been hustled, D!”
“You brought a figure skating champion here, Z?” Gage turns to me.
“What the hell, man?”
“Hey, it’s not my problem you guys come to your own conclusions.”
“You said you could skate!” Darius protests, still in a bit of daze.
“I think I just demonstrated that. But you’re not so shabby yourself,
hockey boy.”
With a smile, she skates away, doing one of her fancy jumps in the
process.
“This isn’t skating, this is…” Darius shakes his head, his eyes
narrowing at Rei. “I demand a rematch.”

“Your friends are cute.”

“I don’t think they’d appreciate being called that,” I comment, stashing
the helmet under my seat before turning to look at Rei.
“Okay, they’re manly and ravishing.” She bats her eyelashes. “Better?”
I shake my head at her. I’m still not quite sure what to make of her.
Inviting her to visit the guys during practice was totally unintentional. She
needed to take a break from skating before she worked herself to the bone
and I… Well, I just wasn’t ready to let go of her.
Besides, I figured if I showed her a part of my life, she’d go running in
the other direction. It was what she should have done, but just like every
time so far, Rei surprised me. Seeing her hanging with the guys that I know
from Ashton Heights did the exact opposite. Unlike me, she seemed like
she belonged. She didn’t mind their teasing and met them skate to skate
without blinking an eye. She might be barely five feet tall, but she’s five
feet of fire dancing on the ice.
“What?” Rei asks, smiling.
My fingers itch to reach forward and trace the line of her mouth. She
tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. It’s loose, falling down her back all
the way to her waist.
“Nothing. Did you have fun?”
 After her match with Darius, we stayed for a little while longer. I gave
them some tips from the sidelines, and all the while Rei was sitting on the
bleachers, watching us work.
“Yeah, thanks for taking me.”
“No problem. Although I still think you shouldn’t have skated.”
“That was the best part, really.” She looks at me. “It reminded me of
how fun skating could be. It’s easy to forget that when you’re on this level.
There are so many expectations, so much is on the line.”
Her throat bobs as she swallows. The darkness that was there earlier in
the gym, creeping in at the edges.
I couldn’t imagine what it was like for her, or any professional athlete
really. Unlike most of my teammates, I hadn’t started playing as soon as I
got out of diapers, but in high school, when my teacher, who was also a
hockey coach, forced me to join the team. It was all about releasing the
anger that had been building inside of me for years. Hockey was a release
for me, and I didn’t even think I’d get good enough to draw the attention of
hockey scouts. But when it happened, I knew if I wanted to make anything
out of myself, this was my one-way ticket out. A chance a kid with a
background like mine rarely gets. So I took it, but I never, not even for a
second, imagined myself going pro.
Rei, on the other hand, was born to skate. She’s been competing since
before she could walk, and I could see how that put a certain pressure on a
person.
Sports should be fun, but if it’s all about the competition, the fun factor
gets lost.
“So what’s the goal here? Are you training for something specific?”
Rei walks toward a bench and sits down, so I join her. She tucks one of
her legs underneath her, her eyes fixed on the people passing by.
“Games.”
“What?”
Does she mean...
She tilts her head to the side. “You asked me what I’m training for.
Games. It’s been my goal to participate in the Winter Games. Four years
ago, I was too young to qualify, so this is my chance.”
“You’re serious.”
“I won every other championship, on both junior and senior level. It
wasn’t always gold, but I was standing on that podium. This is the only one
left.” She shrugs. No pretentiousness. Not gloating or showing it in my
face. Just simple facts.
I lean back, the wood creaking beneath my weight. “So, the Games.”
“The Games,” she agrees softly. There’s a slight pause when neither of
us says a thing. “I watched my mom perform on that stage, and I promised
myself, one day I’ll stand on it again in her honor. But somewhere along the
way, it became more than just about her. Working on quads, that’s all me. I
want to get to that next level. I love the challenge no matter how crazy it
drives me sometimes.”
“So this next competition?”
“It’s just regionals. I need it to qualify for the U.S. Nationals, which will
lead me to Four Continents, and finally the World Championships. Then,
there’re qualifications for the Winter Games.”
“And here I thought us hockey players have a long season.”
“When does it start?”
“October, and if we manage to get to the playoffs, it could last all the
way to April.”
Rei turns toward me. “Do you love it? Hockey, I mean?”
“I do, but not the way you do figure skating. I don’t need it to breathe.
But I’m grateful for every chance I got thanks to playing it.”
Rei thinks about it for a moment before nodding. “That makes sense.
You seemed natural with the guys today. And with that friend of yours. Is
that where you see yourself? Helping athletes?”
“Yeah. I love figuring out how the human body works and finding the
best way to get it to the next level.”
“I wish I knew how to do that myself.” Rei bites into her lip, her eyes
getting a faraway look. I can imagine her going over her routine in her
mind, trying to figure out why the quad isn’t working.
My fingers tighten around the back of the bench.
I want to help her.
I want to lean forward and close the distance between us. Slide my
thumb between her brows and smooth that furrow etched in her skin.
See the smile on her face when she succeeds.
A soft ping has her snapping out of it. She pulls her phone out of her
pocket and checks her messages. “It’s the girls.” She types something back
quickly. “I guess I should go back. Thank you so much for inviting me
today. I really had fun.”
 “Well, I enjoyed seeing you wipe that smug smile from Darius’s face.”
“I kind of felt a little sorry for him.”
“Don’t, he’s too cocky for his own good sometimes.”
Rei gets to her feet and hoists the strap of her duffle higher on her
shoulder. “How do you know them?”
“We went to school together. Well, Darius and a few others still go there
and the rest of us come every now and then to play a game with the guys or
help with training.”
“I bet they love it. Darius seems like he really looks up to you.”
I rub at the back of my neck. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
“Oh please, you could see how he strives to have your approval.”
“Who? Darius?”
“Yes. He’s fast with his tongue, but he actually hangs on every word
you say.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
The door of the dorm opens, and a group of a few students comes out.
Rei sighs. “I should go inside. The girls are waiting for me to go grab
dinner.” She walks past me, giving my hand a passing squeeze. “Thanks,
Zane.”
“Anytime.”
Rei takes a tentative step forward. “I’ll see you soon?”
“Sure.”
With another nod, she goes toward the dorm. I stay standing on the
sidewalk until she’s safely inside. Only then do I hop on my bike. I don’t go
straight home. Instead I just drive, but no matter how fast or how far I drive,
I can’t get Rei’s face out of my mind.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTEEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
I take a deep breath when I finally stop on the fourth floor, the wheels of my
carry-on clattering as they touch the ground. Extending the handle, I hoist
the strap of my duffle higher on my shoulder and continue down the
hallway, greeting some girls in passing.
The competition was on Saturday and Sunday, with warmup on Friday,
so Alex and I took the early flight out. Dad had to miss this one too since he
was still in Japan dealing with whatever his company sent him to do, but he
is supposed to be back next week.
On my insistence, we checked out of the hotel today in the morning
before leaving for the rink, and had a flight back scheduled two-and-a-half
hours after the competition was done so I could make my classes on
Monday morning.
Late afternoons, especially during the weekend, are always super busy.
Doors are wide open with music playing loudly as girls get ready to go out,
or simply hang out with their friends.
I try our door and find it open. Two heads snap up when I enter, turning
toward me in unison. I pull my things inside, barely fitting through the
doorway with a suitcase on one side and my duffle on the other.
“Look who finally showed up. We were starting to believe we’re living
with a ghost.”
“Jade,” Grace chastises.
“What? I’m just saying.”
“Don’t worry, for a moment there I believed this was all a dream too,” I
joke softly, finally closing the door behind me. “So what’s up?” I turn
around, facing my friends. “What the hell did you do?!”
I hurry toward the couch where they’re sitting, and stare at Grace, who’s
hiding behind her palms. But there’s no hiding her hair. Her gorgeous,
auburn hair, that’s now cut to shoulder length.
“That bad?”
I sit on the coffee table and pull her hands away from her face.
“And bangs too? When did that happen?”
“Her reaction is even better than Yasmin’s!” Jade chuckles. “What do
you think? Should I switch professions?”
“You did this?”
 “Yup, and it turned out pretty good if I might say so myself.”
“Holy shit, it totally did. It looks gorgeous, but why the change?”
Grace shrugs, looking away. “I just needed a change, I guess.”
The silence falls over us and I can see her nibbling at her lower lip, her
gaze distant somehow. Sad.
I meet Jade’s eyes, but she just gives a small shake of her head.
Oh-kay… I wonder what that’s about.
“How did your competition go?” Jade asks, effectively changing the
subject.
“Good.” I get up and go to our mini fridge, pulling out a bottle of water
for myself. “You guys need anything?”
“We’re good,” Grace says. “Did you win?”
I close the fridge and go back to the couch, plopping my butt down.
“Of course she won.”
Grace looks at her friend. “How do you know?”
“I put an alert on her name, so I got the notification.” Jade turns her
phone to show it to Grace.
“You did what?” Grace’s loud shriek is an exact representation of my
own thoughts.
“Seriously?” I don’t think I ever had somebody put an alert on me. “I
don’t know what to think.”
On one hand, it’s sweet, on the other just a bit creepy.
“Hey, we have to know how to greet you once you get back here. Are
we celebrating? Do you need consoling?” She glares at my water bottle.
“Not exactly the clear liquid I had in mind, I have to admit. I think vodka is
a better solution regardless of the outcome, but that’s just me.”
I shake my head at her. “You know I don’t drink much.”
Jade pouts. “Party pooper.”
“Do you know how many calories alcohol has?”
“I don’t care to know. Why do people have to ruin everything by
mentioning calories?”
Jade’s right about that, but I don’t have the luxury of not worrying about
calories when even a small weight gain can mess with my practice and
chances of making it to the Winter Games.
“While I don’t mind other freshman experiences, I cannot gain the
freshman fifteen no matter how tempting.”
 “I don’t think anybody intentionally gains the freshman fifteen,” Grace
chimes in.
“I can attest to that. It just sort of happens.”
“You didn’t gain fifteen pounds!” I throw a pillow at Jade.
“Not yet. So what’s the plan?”
“I was actually planning to kick back and relax.”
Competition weekends are always exhausting. Between the travel, final
practice, and the competition itself, it takes a toll on the body.
“And what better way to do it than with a drink?” Jade asks, a big,
hopeful smile on her lips.
“Hmmm, give me something to eat?”
“Oh, yeah.” Jade checks her phone. “About that…”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
The blinking cursor mocks me from the screen, as does the blank page. Dr.
Snow has already rejected five topics I’ve come up with for my internship
essay. According to her, they’re all boring, and she knows I can do better.
At this point, I’m not sure I can agree with her.
My eyes fall down to the corner of my laptop, noticing the time. I’ve
seen Rei only in passing these past weeks, ever since we returned from the
community center. I might have thought she was ignoring me, but the
glimpses I got of her were usually in the rink, where she’s been working
relentlessly.
With the start of the hockey season just around the corner, the coach
wanted us to be in the rink as much as possible. Some players graduated last
year, and each season those first few months are the hardest; working on
new lines and getting the team to mesh together. But that also meant that I
got to see Rei just for a few moments here and there in between our
practices.
I wonder how her competition went.
I return my attention to the blank page.
Yeah, right. Not happening.
Minimizing the tab, I open my internet browser and search Rei’s name,
narrowing the results to just this past week. A YouTube video pops up first
in the search results, and I debate for only a moment before hitting play.
Since my speakers are long dead, I don’t even bother with turning on the
sound, but just watch as the video loads and, after a few long seconds, starts
to play.
The video was posted earlier today. Rei steps out on the ice. She’s in
one of those ultra-short dresses figure skaters usually wear, this one a pale
pink with crystals all over it.
Rei makes a circle around the rink before finally coming to a stop in the
middle. She takes her stance, her eyes closing for the briefest of seconds.
The music must kick in because her eyes snap open and she moves.
Transfixed, I watch as she glides over the ice. Every movement she
makes is effortless in the execution. Every jump, every spin, and every turn
more graceful than the last. Even without the music, there’s just something
about her that pulls you in, gripping all of your attention.
 When Rei’s on the ice, you’re unable to look away. It’s just her and the
pristine white surface.
Once she’s done, she’s back in the center, her chest rising and falling
rapidly, but the look on her face is one of pure joy. She bows to the
audience and skates her way to the exit, where her coach is waiting for her.
It’s the same guy I saw her with on campus the other day. The dude that was
wearing a suit in the middle of a college campus, his hair pulled back in a
low ponytail. She jumps out and straight into his arms. He pulls her closer,
and—
“What are you looking at?”
I turn around in my chair, quickly shutting the lid of my laptop in the
process. I cringe at the loud sound as the screen shuts in place. The thing is
older than Grams, barely working as it is. The last thing I need is to break it
when I have barely any money in my pocket to eat. I can only hope that
Kevin will call soon with a job for me.
“What the fuck, Hayden? Why are you sneaking up on me?”
“Dude, I knocked, but you didn’t hear me.”
Probably because I was too focused on what I was watching.
Hayden looks at the now closed laptop. “What were you watching?
Porn?”
“What?” I push back from the desk and glare at him. “Does it look like
I’ve been watching porn?”
“What the hell do I know?”
“No, asshat, I haven’t been watching porn.”
“Who’s watching porn?” Nixon’s head peeks over Hayden’s shoulder.
“Nobody,” I mutter at the same time Hayden says, “Zane.”
Nixon looks between the two of us. “Which one is it?”
Hayden opens his mouth, but I shut him up with a glare.
“You’re nosey as fuck, Watson. What do you want anyway?”
“Yasmin and Callie are done with dinner. You coming or what?”
I run my hand over my face. “Yeah, sure.”
“Seriously, dude, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody watches
it,” Nixon continues as we descended the stairs.
This again?
“I already told you, I wasn’t watching fucking porn.”
There’s a strangled sound, half laugh, half cough that makes me look
up, my eyes landing on… Rei?
OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FOURTEEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“This is just too much!” Kate says, shaking her head, her eyes fixed on the
big book on the table like she wants to throw it across the room.
When the girls told me we were going to Jade’s brother’s for dinner, I
expected a small gathering. But as it turns out, these guys don’t understand
the meaning of “small.” The house is full of people, a mix of football and
hockey players and their significant others. And while the guys were in the
living room playing video games and God only knows what, us girls
huddled in the dining room to help Kate, one of Yasmin’s friends, with her
wedding preparations.
“Seriously, I don’t know why I agreed to this in the first place. I should
have just run away with Emmett and done the deed. No flower
arrangements. No seating charts. Just him and me.”
“Do you really think you could just get hitched?” Yasmin asks, swirling
the contents of her glass.
Kate looks away guiltily and sighs. “No.”
“Between my mom and your aunt, I’m not sure who’d get their hands
on us first,” Kate’s fiancé chuckles. He leans down as he passes by, placing
his lips on top of her head. “Don’t stress about it, Kitty.”
“How can I not? Just before we got here, I got off a two-hour-long
phone call with your mom. I love the woman, but she changes her mind at
least once a week. I figured giving her free rein to set everything would be a
great idea since they’re there and we’re here and we want a summer
wedding, but she’s driving me nuts with her back and forth.”
Emmett crouches in front of Kate, his hand reaching up to cup her
cheek. “Do you want me to talk to her?”
Kate shakes her head. “No, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She’s
trying to make it all perfect, but what she doesn’t get is that it’ll be perfect
as long as you’re there.”
“Damn right it will be.” Emmett leans in and kisses Kate.
I look away, feeling like we’re intruding on a private moment. Jade
meets my gaze and rolls her eyes. “They’re so sappy.”
“They’re cute,” I protest.
“Emmett, you planning to sit there all day or play?” somebody calls
from the living room.
 Emmett groans, but pushes up. “Coming,” he yells but doesn’t make a
move to leave. “You okay, Kitty?”
Kate nods, her hand sliding down his arm until it falls by her side. “I’ll
be fine.”
“Go.” Callie pats Emmett on the shoulder. “We’ll help her make the
arrangements.”
“He doesn’t make things easier,” Kate says quietly as she watches him
join the guys in the living room.
“What do you mean?” Yasmin asks. She leans over the table and pulls
the book, a wedding planner of sorts, toward herself.
“He would give me anything, which doesn’t help with making the
decisions any easier.”
“Guys,” Callie says, and we all nod our agreement.
“Close your eyes,” Grace says quietly.
We all turn our heads toward her. She’s been unusually quiet, and I’ve
seen both Jade and Yasmin give her worried glances, but otherwise they let
her be. I wonder what that’s about, but don’t want to ask in front of a room
full of people.
“What?”
“Close your eyes,” Grace repeats, and this time Kate does as asked.
“When you think about your perfect day, what do you see?”
“Emmett and me.” A small crease appears between her brows.
“What else? Where are you?”
“His family’s ranch,” Kate answers instantly. “We’re on his family’s
ranch, in the backyard. Since it’s summer, we’d probably be able to set the
canopy over the tables outside in the yard. And twinkling lights. The entire
town would be there, because that’s just the way things are in Bluebonnet.”
Kate chuckles softly, but the frown has disappeared, a small smile curving
her lips.
“You see?” Grace places her hand over Kate’s clasped ones. “You know
what you want.”
“Still no idea what to do with the flowers, though. Or food. Or
photographer.”
“Jade’s a photographer,” Yasmin chimes in.
Kate turns her head toward Jade. “Really?”
“I’m no wedding photographer.”
 “She’s really good,” I say, and Jade glares at me. “What? I’m just telling
the truth.”
“I really think you want somebody more professional in the field.”
“How about we find some more ideas on Pinterest and then we can
come back to the question of a photographer?” Callie asks.

“Hey you.”
I look up just in time to see Zane lean against the counter next to me.
“Hey back.”
We stare at each other for a while, neither of us saying anything.
We haven’t had a chance to talk much since I got here. Well, our first
meeting not included.
“C’mon, say it. I know you want to.”
“Say what?” I blink, pretending not to know what he’s talking about.
But it’s pointless since his friends made it their mission to announce it to
everybody within earshot.
Zane’s eyes narrow. “I bet it’s eating at you from the inside out.”
“It is not,” I protest, but I can’t help but laugh. “You have to admit, it
was funny.”
“Do you see me laughing?”
I stand in front of him and tilt my head to the side in observation. His
forehead is creased, a furrow nestled deep between his brows.
“No, but then again, you never laugh.” I rise on the tips of my toes and
smooth my finger over his forehead. “Why is that?”
Zane’s mouth falls open. I’m not sure who’s more surprised by the
touch, him or me. It’s like suddenly all the air is sucked from the space
between us. He’s all that I can feel, all that I can smell. This close, it’s like
all begins and ends with Zane West. And now that I have broken this barrier
between us, I don’t want to move.
I slide my finger over his skin, feeling its warmth. His face softens, if
only slightly.
“I do laugh,” he protests, his voice rough. His Adam’s apple bobs as he
swallows.
“Not nearly enough,” I whisper softly.
 Zane clears his throat. “How was the competition?”
“Good.” Reluctantly, I pull back, tucking a strand of my hair behind my
ear.
“What was your score?”
“228.39.” My answer is automatic.
Zane blinks. “What?”
I look at his confused face and chuckle. “The total score was 228.39.”
“Where did they find that 0.39?”
“Right? Sometimes I don’t get it myself, and I’ve been in the sport for
ages. It’s just the combination of different elements and if the judges think
you executed them well enough.”
“But how do you know if you’re winning or not?”
“You don’t.” I shrug. “You get out on the ice, do your thing and let them
judge. I mean, obviously you know if you messed something up or not. If
you fall you lose points, but overall, you don’t know what your current
score is. They add some during your performance, but some are added or
deducted later on once you’re done since sometimes they need to go over
the tapes in case they’re not sure if something was done correctly.”
“Seems like a lot of hassle. In normal sports, if you score, you get
points. How can you know if you need to change something and make it
better by the end?”
“You don’t.” I lean against the counter. “But there is beauty in it too.
There’s no pressure of the scoreboard hanging over your head telling you
you’re failing. For those few minutes on the ice, you just get to do what you
love. There’s also the fact that each skater works on the same routine the
entire year, so technically, even if you did mess something up, you’ll work
on it before the next competition and you’ll get better by the end of the
season.”
Zane looks at me. “Did you win, though?”
“Yeah, I won.”
The corner of his mouth lifts. “Congrats.”
“Thanks.”
“So what’s next?”
“Back to figuring out quads.”
A frown returns to his face. “But you didn’t do it this weekend.”
I turn to him. “How would you—”
 “There you are! I was looking for you.” Jade shifts her attention from
me to Zane and back. “Am I interrupting something?”
“We were just talking,” I say quickly, pulling back to create some much-
needed distance between us.
“Mm-hmm… Talking.”
I glare at her in warning. “Did you need something?”
“Just checking on you. I wanted to confirm you didn’t run away the first
chance you got. By the way, thanks for throwing me to the wolves.”
“I just came to grab some water.” I lift the bottle that’s been sitting
forgotten on the counter. “And you’re welcome.”
Jade glares at the bottle like it offended her. “You and your water.”
“Hydration is important.”
“So is having fun.”
“Weddings are fun.”
“If you can eat, dance and get drunk. None of which you can do if
you’re the one responsible for commemorating the entire day.”
“For what’s it worth, I think you’d do an amazing job. But if you say
you’d rather not, I think Kate will understand.”
“I guess we’ll see.” Jade huffs. “You ready to go?”
I look toward Zane, his comment still ringing in my head, but it’s not
like I can ask him now, not with Jade’s watchful eyes on us. “Yeah, sure.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FIFTEEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Hey, are you okay?”
Grace’s head snaps up, blinking me into focus. “Yeah?”
She’s been sitting on the couch in the same spot for the past hour. I
know because I’ve been stealing glances at her this entire time while I’ve
been going through my stretching routine in my room.
“Isn’t it your studio time?”
“Oh, I’m not really feeling it, so I think I’m going to skip it today.”
“You’re not in the mood to dance? Now I definitely know something’s
wrong.” I sit next to her on the couch. “I know I’m not Jade, but you can
talk to me, you know?”
“What?” A confused frown appears on her face. “You think just because
Jade and I…”
“You’ve known each other longer, I wouldn’t blame you guys if you had
secrets of your own. But I just wanted you to know I’m here if you need
somebody to talk to.”
“I know, it’s just…” Grace takes a strand of her hair and starts playing
with it. “There’s just a lot going on, and I’m not ready to talk about it. With
anybody.”
“You’re not in trouble, are you?”
Grace lifts her head and gives me a small smile. “Nah, just some old
memories I can’t seem to run away from.”
Before I can ask what kinds of memories, although I already know she
won’t give me an answer, there is a soft click before the door swings open
and Jade enters.
“Great, you’re here.” Grace turns to me. “I changed my mind. I want to
dance after all.”

“She was not joking,” I yell in Jade’s ear over the loud music as we both
watch Grace dance, or more like grind, against a guy whose name I don’t
even remember.
Steve? Stefan? No, that’s not it. But I’m pretty sure it starts with S.
 When Grace said she changed her mind about dancing, this was not
what I had in mind, but she was determined to get us out of the dorm.
“No, she wasn’t. Not that I can blame her.” Jade’s face is serious as she
watches her best friend.
“Do you know what’s going on with her? She’s been awfully quiet for a
while now. I tried asking her today, but...” I shrug.
It’s hard seeing Grace so out of control like this. She’s usually the
levelheaded one in our group. The voice of reason.
Not tonight, though. She’s dressed in the shortest skirt I’ve ever seen
her wear, with red lipstick and dark liner, and is on her way to spending the
rest of her evening with her head over the toilet.
Jade nods her head. “I do, but it’s not my story to tell.”
“Rei!” Grace tumbles toward me. Her pupils are unusually wide,
completely swallowing her vibrant emerald irises. “Where’s your glass?”
“I already had one.”
I like going out and having fun, but I know my limit. As in, I have a low
one. So I usually have one drink for fun. No drunken, embarrassing
moments, no puking later, and I don’t have to spend half the next day
working out all the extra calories from my system.
“Well, this is a party, have another one!”
Grace’s fingers wrap around my wrist and she pulls me toward the
kitchen where the booze is.
“You know I don’t drink.”
“You’re no fun at all.” Grace pouts. “Guess I’ll just have to drink one
for you too.”
There’s a guy standing by the counter and filling his glass. Grace smiles
at him and asks him for three shots, which he gladly delivers.
“You sure you don’t want one?” Grace asks, handing one of the cups to
Jade.
“Positive.”
“More for me.” Grace shrugs and downs her shot of tequila. Her face
twists as the liquid slides down her throat, but it doesn’t stop her from
reaching for the second one and repeating the whole process. I’m not sure
how much she drank, I stopped counting after she got into double digits.
“Wanna go dance?”
Grace sways on the balls on her feet. She would have lost her balance
and fallen if it weren’t for Jade grabbing her upper arm and looping their
arms together.
“How about a little water first?”
“Tequila?”
“Wa-ter,” Jade says, making a point to enunciate each syllable. “It’ll do
you some good.”
“But it’s not fun.”
“Haven’t you had enough fun for one night?” Jade leads her toward a
chair in the corner.
“Hey, you mind if I go to the bathroom?”
“Nah, you go. I’ll stay here and watch out for her.”
“You sure?” I ask, eyeing Grace suspiciously. She might be sitting now,
but she might disappear before we blink.
“Yeah, go.”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Why are we here again?” I ask Spencer as we climb the steps of a red
brick house. All the lights are on, doors and windows open as loud music
flows out of the house and into the street.
“Because this is a party? A hockey party.”
“The season hasn’t even started.”
“Like we need a season to celebrate.” Spencer smirks as we move
through the people standing outside. He winks at two girls standing on the
front porch, red solo cups in their hands. “But if you need a reason, it’s
Xander’s welcome to the team party.”
“Welcome to the team party? Seriously? The dude’s been here for two
months now.”
“Better late than never. C’mon, West.” Spencer throws his arm over me.
“Tell me this isn’t what you need. You’ve been a broody asshole lately.
Chill.”
“How’s that something new?”
“Well, even more than usual.”
“There’s just a lot going on.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah… that’s why we’re here. So you can chill the fuck
out. Maybe find some girl to take home with you.”
“I don’t need a girl, what I need is a decent night of sleep.”
“Well, tonight you’re getting a girl.”
Spence crouches down in front of a keg in the kitchen and fills two cups
with beer, handing me one. “And beer.”
“Yeah well…”
My phone vibrates. Sighing, I pull it out and check the screen. A stream
of messages pops up on my screen, all from an unknown number. Gritting
my teeth, I dismiss them with a swipe of my thumb.
Just then my phone rings.
“You coming?”
I look up from my phone, my fingers clenching tightly around the
device.
“You go, I have to answer this.”
“Fine, I’m going to the game room.”
 I nod and watch him leave. The call dies, phone turning silent once
again. I rub my hand over my face.
There’s only one person who’d call from an unknown number.
As if my thoughts conjure it, the phone vibrates again.
“We’re not doing this again,” I say, not bothering with pleasantries. I
walk around the people and go straight for the stairs, taking two at a time.
“But…”
“We’re not doing this again, Candie. I gave you the money. You
promised to stay away.”
“Well, I need more.”
“I don’t fucking have more,” I hiss into the phone. I look around the
hallway and find a few girls standing in front of the bathroom door. They
look at me, but when they find my eyes on them, they quickly look away.
Dammit.
Walking down the hallway, I open a door and check inside. The room is
blissfully quiet, not that the same can be said for the one next door.
“Oh please, I’ve seen where you’re living now. College ain’t cheap,
boy. I’m not stupid.”
“There are these things called scholarships? Not that you’d know
anything about it.”
“Well, you’ve always been resourceful. Figure it out.”
“Fuck you, Candie. I’m not doing this shit again. Figure it out yourself.”
Before she can say anything else, I hang up the phone.
Fuckfuckfuck.
I should have known better than this. I should have sent her away when
she came the first time around, but I just wanted to get rid of her and
quickly. Because where Candie goes, trouble usually follows.
The phone starts to ring again, but I turn it off. I’ll deal with this…
preferably never, not that I’m that lucky.
Taking a deep breath, I pull the door open and walk into the hallway just
as the bathroom door opens and none other than Rei comes out. She’s
wiping her hands against the sides of her legs.
Startled, she jumps a little until she realizes it’s me. “Hey, you scared
me.”
“Sorry. What are you doing here?”
“Bathroom.” She points at the closed door behind her.
“I meant like here, here.”
 “Oh, Grace needed to get out so…” She shrugs, swaying on the balls of
her feet. “What about you?”
“It’s a team thing. I think.” I rub the back of my neck. “I had to answer
a phone call, so I didn’t get far.”
Rei chuckles. “You ran away?”
“I had to answer the phone.”
“I didn’t take this as your scene.”
“Hey, I used to party,” I say defensively. “Freshman year was wild.”
“What happened?”
“Too many things going on.”
Rei looks toward the stairs and sighs. “I guess I should go back down.”
“You could stay.”
I’m not sure which one of us is more surprised by my suggestion, Rei or
me.
“Or you could go back.” I shove my hands in my pockets, rocking on
the balls of my feet. “It’s up to you. It was just an idea.”
Her teeth scrape over her lower lip as she takes a moment to think. “I
could stay,” she says slowly, but then adds, “For a little while. Jade is
downstairs with Grace, who’s very drunk, and I don’t want to leave her
alone.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” she echoes. “So what are we going to do?”
I tip my head back. “Come.”
I turn around and start walking down the hallway.
“Come?” Rei calls after me. “Come where? Zane!”
I go back to the room which I just exited, stopping in the doorway.
“Here.”
“What…” Rei stops next to me and peeks inside. “Whose room is this?”
I look inside, trying to see the space through Rei’s eyes. The room is
dark, but neither of us bothers turning on the light. The bed is unmade, and
there’s a pile of clothes shoved in the corner of the room.
“One of the guys on the team. He won’t mind.”
Bypassing the open duffle on the floor, I go to the bed and kneel on the
mattress. Bracing my hand against the wall, I push open the window. It
takes a few tries, since the damn thing is stuck, but finally I manage to open
it.
 I look over my shoulder, only to find wide-eyed Rei staring at me.
“What?”
“N-nothing,” she stutters and looks away. I narrow my eyes, pretty sure
I saw her flush.
“You didn’t think…”
“Nope.”
“Oh-kay.” A corner of my mouth lifts. “You coming?”
Her head snaps toward me. “Coming where?”
“Here.” I climb on the bed and push one leg through the window.
There’s no way I can stay with her in a dark room, just the two of us, with
somebody having sex just on the other side of the wall. Loudly.
“Do you have a death wish?” Rei whisper-yells from the inside.
I lift my brows. “I didn’t think you were afraid of heights.”
“I’m not afraid of heights. What I am afraid of is breaking my neck.”
Shoving the other leg out, I turn to Rei and extend my hand. “There’s a
rooftop here.”
“Should that make me feel better?”
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Pix.”
Rei watches me for a heartbeat longer. Wordlessly, she moves closer,
and places her hand in mine. I pull her through the window and out into a
chilly New England night.
“It’s quiet here,” Rei notices, sitting down on the roof. “Do you usually
come out here during parties?”
I shrug and take a seat, leaning my back against the wall. “Sometimes.
If I need a moment to breathe. Think.”
“What’s on your mind?”
Too many things to count.
From the corner of my eye, I can see Rei shift to get a better look at me.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s just…” I run my hand through my hair. “A lot.”
“You said that already. Anything in specific?”
“I talked to my mentor today, and she shut down another two of my
project topics saying they’re boring and I could do better.”
“Damn, that’s harsh.”
“I think that puts us at eight? Or is it ten? Hell, I stopped counting.” I
turn to her. “But I’m seriously not in the mood to talk about that. How’s
practice going? I figured you’d be used to falling by now.”
 “I’m not always falling. You just always see me at the wrong time.”
“So you’re not falling any longer?”
“I wish,” she chuckles, the sound almost wistful. Rei tilts her head back,
looking up at the sky.
We’re in a dark little corner, away from the bright street lights, so the
stars are slightly more visible. Moonlight peeks through the clouds.
“Learning a new jump takes a lot of time and patience.” Rei turns
toward me. Light and shadows play a game on her features. Her hair looks
shinier, the lines of her face more defined. “And falling. Lots and lots of
falling.”
“Did you always want to do it?”
“Skate?” Rei pulls her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them
and leaning her chin on her knees. “Yes, since I was a baby. My mom was a
skater, so it was kind of a given.”
“Was?”
“She died giving birth to me.” Rei looks out at the sky. “She wanted a
family, so she gave up skating, and in the end, she didn’t even get a chance
to live that dream.”
“I’m so sorry, Rei.”
“I didn’t really know her.” She shrugs, turning her attention to me. “I
never really had time to meet her.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Yes, and no. Can you actually miss somebody you never knew? But
then there’s this other part of me that recognizes her on a deeper level. One
that transcends time. It’s like she left a part of her soul in me when she left
this planet.” Rei blinks, and the sadness that was there is gone. “Weird,
right?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not weird. It’s human. Is she the reason you
skate?”
“I skate because I love it. Because it makes me feel connected to her in
a way nothing else does. I never got a chance to see her skate, but I’ve seen
the videos and she was magnificent. She was one of the best skaters of her
generation, but more than anything, you could see how much she loved it.
At first I just wanted to understand it, understand her more, but then I
started to skate, and it all just clicked.”
There’s a sad smile as Rei looks out at the sky. It’s like she’s hoping
she’ll see something, a sign from her mother.
 “She’d be proud of you.”
Rei turns her head to the side, looking at me. “You think?”
Her big brown eyes are full of hope. Until this very moment, I didn’t
even realize how much skating means to her. Yes, she loves it, even a fool
could see it, but it’s also her only connection to a mother she never met.
“I know it,” I whisper.
A smile spreads over Rei’s lips. She bites into her lip, trying to hide it,
but it’s no use.
My eyes fall down to her mouth. The bow-shaped upper lip, the fullness
of her bottom one. Once again she put on that damn red lipstick.
A lock of hair falls in her face. I reach for it just as she does, our
fingertips touching. A jolt of awareness goes through my body at the
contact.
“Zane, I…”
Whatever she wanted to say gets lost in the cheers coming from
downstairs. We pull back from one another quickly.
Rei tucks the strand of her hair behind her ear, her gaze going toward
the source of the noise.
“Oh my God, is that… Grace?”
I look down at the crowd that has gathered on the terrace. “Seems like
it.”
“What the hell is she doing?”
“I think that would be a keg stand.”
Rei shakes her head. “I better go down and get her.”
Slowly, she scoots back to the window. “You coming?”
I shake my head. “I think I’ll stay here for a while.”
Something like disappointment flashes over her face. “I guess I’ll see
you later.”
“Later,” I whisper, but she’s already inside the window.
I lean back, letting my head hit the wall.
What the hell was I thinking?
I wasn’t, that’s the thing. I was sitting out under the stars with a pretty
girl, and all I wanted to do was lean down and kiss her.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER SIXTEEN

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Thanks for doing this, man,” Xander says low enough so only I can hear
him.
“It’s fine.” I wave him off. I was a little surprised when he came to me
after the morning gym session and asked if we could talk. We haven’t
interacted that much since Xander joined our team at the beginning of the
season. Then again, my head’s all over the place this year.
“Some of the guys told me they usually come to you if they need
somebody to work with since you’re the best.”
“Definitely not the best.”
Spencer’s head peeks between the two of us. “We just like to use him
for his talents and kinesiology knowledge.”
I connect my elbow with his gut, making him grunt. “I’ve always
known you’re just using me to make you look better on the ice, you
asshole.”
“Hey, at least I buy you beer.”
“Like that helps me forget about your annoying personality,” I scoff,
just as there’s a loud thud.
“Again!” somebody yells from down in the rink.
I stop in my tracks, my eyes instantly following the sound of the pissed-
off voice. Spencer bumps into me from the back, but I don’t move a muscle.
Rei is practicing down in the rink.
She pushes to her feet, brushing her hand against the side of her leg, her
jaw set tight as she starts skating once again.
It was her.
She fell, and the asshole coach is yelling at her?
But Rei doesn’t say anything, just skates around the rink. She switches
to a backward position before turning forward, assisting the jump with the
toe pick to launch into the air, as she crosses her arms over her chest to
speed up the rotation.
Just a few seconds, that’s how long she’s in the air, mere few seconds,
before she’s falling once again. Her leg twists under her as she crashes onto
the ice.
I grip the railing, my jaw tightening.
 “Easy now,” Spencer whispers in warning, his fingers wrapping around
my bicep and holding me in my place.
“What the—”
“You’re not even trying!” her coach yells, getting out on the ice to join
her.
Once again, Rei pushes to her feet. “I’m trying.”
“It doesn’t look like that from where I’m standing. You need to get
higher from the ice or you’ll never be able to land a quad. Watch.”
He goes through the same motions Rei just did, his leap off the ice
much higher than hers, probably a good fifteen inches if not more. He
rotates four times before landing back on the ice.
Somebody whistles softly behind me. I’m not sure if it’s Spencer or one
of the guys. It doesn’t even matter.
“Showy dick,” I mutter under my breath.
“That’s how you do it,” her coach continues, and I want to roll my eyes.
“Of course it is.”
Spencer chuckles. “You seriously can’t stand the guy.”
“When he’s acting like an asshole.”
“He’s her coach. I don’t remember you being so pissed off at our coach
when he’s pushing us hard.”
“There’s a difference between pushing somebody hard and acting like a
know-it-all dickhead. And her coach is definitely doing the latter.”
“Still, he’s her coach.” Spencer tightens his grip on my arm. “C’mon,
man. Let’s go change.”
I pull my arm out of his grip. “I can walk on my own, thank you very
much.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about your ability to walk, what I am worried
about though is your ability to jump on the ice and punch that dude in the
face.”
“I could probably do that too.”
Spencer sighs. “That’s what worries me.”

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Didn’t take you for an Imagine Dragons fan, Skater Girl.”
I let go of my skate as my spin slows down. When I look up, I find
Zane, Spencer and two more of his friends entering the rink.
“Why not?”
“Figure skating always seemed… tame.”
“Tame?” I quirk my brow at him. “Have you ever watched a show or
competition?”
“Can’t say I have, but I always imagined you skating to Beethoven or
some shit.”
“We don’t only skate to classical, although that’s still the most common
soundtrack, I’ll give you that. But I actually like something with a stronger
beat when I practice. Keeps me motivated.”
“Whatever it takes, right?” Spencer winks at me, giving me that big,
charming smile of his that you can’t help but return. It’s exactly what I need
after the shitshow of a practice I just finished with Alexei.
“Whatever it takes,” I agree. “What are you boys doing here?”
The question is silly since they’re all dressed in their full workout gear.
Skates and pads are on, sticks and helmets tucked under their arms.
“Practice before practice. Coach wants to put Xander here,” Zane tips
his chin in the direction of the guy with an actual beard and messy dark
hair, “on the first line so we figured we’d put some work in before the rest
of the team arrives. That is, if you don’t mind sharing the rink with the
boys?”
His green eyes are shining brighter somehow when he turns his
attention toward me. There’s a challenge in his voice that I’m ready to meet
with one of my own.
I lift one of my brows at him. “That depends, can you stick to your side
of the rink?”
“You know your rink time is over, right?”
“Is it now?” I don’t even bother looking at the clock. I know I’ve been
done for a while now, but I figured if nobody needs the rink, might as well
stay a little while longer.
“You know it is.”
“Have you been checking on me again, Hockey Boy?”
 Zane looks startled by my question, and it takes everything in me not to
laugh. Serves him right. The notion drove me crazy, but I couldn’t exactly
probe him in front of Jade the other day. Well, I probably could, but I didn’t
want to.
Stoic and broody Zane West actually took the time to check in on how
my competition went. And not just the score; he watched the video. It’s the
only way he could have known that I hadn’t done the quad.
It’s… sweet.
“I—”
I tilt my head to the side, waiting. My hand is propped on my hip,
fingers tapping to the rhythm of the new song playing through the speakers.
I open my mouth, ready to ask him for an explanation, but Spencer stops
me.
“What are you two whispering about?”
“Nothing,” Zane says quickly.
Spencer’s brows furrow at Zane, but he just shakes his head, turning his
attention to me. “Ever played hockey, Skater Girl?”
I glare at Zane, a silent reminder that this isn’t over before looking to
Spencer. “Not really my thing.”
“Oh, now you wound me.” He places his gloved hand over his chest.
I laugh at his dramatics. “You’ll live. I’ll get out of your hair. I’m
already done, anyway.”
I start to skate away, but Spencer’s words stop me. “You should try it.”
“Try what?”
“Playing hockey.”
I narrow my gaze at Spencer. He can’t be serious. “Like now?”
He shrugs. “No time like the present.”
“But I don’t have all the mountain man equipment. That hardly seems
fair.”
“Mountain man equipment?” Spencer chokes on a laugh.
“What?” I ask, feeling the flush raising up my neck. “All the padding
and stuffing.”
“Stuffing?” one of the guys, I’m not sure of his name, asks. “What are
we? Turkey?”
At that, everybody bursts into laughter. Me included.
“That’s a good one, rookie.” Spencer slaps the guy on the shoulder.
 “That’s not what I meant!” I protest, my cheeks burning. “You’re
twisting my words on purpose.”
“Oh, no, honey. You’re the one digging yourself a hole all on your
own.”
I go at Spencer, but he lifts his stick between us.
“Gimme that.”
I place both my hands on the stick and we push and pull for a little bit.
“I thought you wanted to show me how to play.”
“I did, but now I feel like if I let go, you’ll take my stick and smack me
over the head with it.”
“That’s definitely a possibility,” I mutter, still trying to get a hold of the
stick. “Are you letting it g—”
I pull hard just as Spencer lets go, making me stumble backward. Okay,
not stumble, I’d definitely have fallen if it weren’t for the hard body
standing right behind me. A firm hand wraps around my waist to steady me.
“You good?” Zane asks.
A shiver runs through my body. Zane’s leaning down, his warm breath
tickling the side of my face as he whispers in my ear.
I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to keep my cool since all eyes are
on us.
“Y-yeah.”
Spence shakes his head. “We need to put some muscles on you.”
“I have enough muscle as it is, thank you very much.” I lift the stick so I
can look at it better. It’s actually lighter than I expected, the bottom part
neatly wrapped with white tape, but probably too big for me. Okay,
definitely too big for me. “So how do you score with this thing?”
When silence is my only answer, I look up to see three pairs of eyes just
staring blankly at me.
“What?”
“You should probably change the hold.” Zane chuckles lightly,
reminding me he’s still standing right behind me. Not that I could actually
forget since his chest is still brushing against my back. His gloved hands
cover mine, rearranging my hold on the stick until he’s happy with the
result. “Like this.”
“N-now what?”
Is it just me or is my voice slightly breathy?
“Now you get into position…”
 Zane rearranges me to a side position, my right leg forward, left leg
slightly back, the stick in line with the back leg. He pulls our intertwined
hands back in an arch. I try to loosen my muscles and let him lead the
movements. “Now quickly, like you’re going to pull a trigger.”
He flicks our hands forward; the stick moving over the ice and hitting
an invisible puck.
“You try now.”
He pulls back, and I instantly miss his touch.
“So, like this?” I repeat the motion a few times, testing it out. It seems
fairly easy.
“Just like that.”
“Seems easy enough.”
“You know you have to add the puck to the mix? And you know,
actually skate?” Spencer chuckles. He pulls the little black circle out of his
pocket and tosses it in the air. “Wanna try?”
“Fine, let’s play.”
“Good.” He tosses the puck on the ice. “I’ll even give you a head start.
Let’s see what you’ve got.”
I don’t need to be told twice. Tightening my grip on the handle, I give
the puck a little push and skate toward the goal on the other side of the rink.
It’s definitely not as easy as it looks like when you watch on the
sidelines. I’m a good skater, a fantastic skater, but it seems like the puck has
a mind of its own. The damn stick doesn’t really help.
I’m not even halfway to the goal when I hear the familiar swishing
sound behind me, and sure enough, Spencer’s there, carrying another stick
in his big hands like it weighs nothing. He steals the puck that I pushed in
the wrong direction by accident and goes straight for the goal, pulling the
stick back—much more gracefully than I did standing, I have to admit—
and sending the puck flying straight into the net.
Guys cheer from behind us.
“That was so not fair!” I yell so they can hear me over the sound of the
music.
“I gave you a head start.”
“Still, I’m a total newbie at this.”
“Didn’t you say it’s easy enough?”
“It is, I just need to get the hang of it.” I let the stick touch the ice. “And
a smaller stick.”
 Zane skates to the net and pulls the puck out, pushing it right in front of
the goal, and a couple feet back. “Try here.”
“Seriously?”
“Try it,” he urges me.
I huff. “Fine.”
I skate toward the puck, taking the pose Zane showed me earlier.
Nibbling at my lower lip, I pull the stick back, trying out a few swings.
“Did somebody tell her this isn’t golf?” somebody asks. The question is
followed by a sharp inhale. I ignore the commotion, trying to concentrate
on what I’m doing instead.
I pull back one more time and swing the stick.
There’s a loud crack as my stick connects with the puck and it goes
straight into the net.
I turn around, my mouth open in surprise. “I did it.”
“You did it,” Zane agrees with a smile.
“I actually did it!” I jump in excitement, raising my arms in the air.
One of the guys whistles.
“Rei?”
I turn around at the sound of the familiar voice, the hockey stick still
raised in the air.
“Dad?” Letting my arms drop by my sides, I skate toward him. I drop
the stick to the ice before wrapping my arms around my father’s middle.
“What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?”
“Hey, Squirt.” He returns my hug, his strong arms wrapping around me,
his familiar scent—cologne, cigarettes, and plain Dad—surrounding me.
Until this very moment, I hadn’t even realized how much I’ve missed him.
“I just got home last night, so I figured I’d come to see my little girl. And
when you didn’t answer your phone, I knew I’d find you here.” His lips
brush against the top of my head before he pulls back. “The better question
is, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be practicing?”
I roll my eyes at him. “I just finished not that long ago.”
“So what were you doing?” He looks over my shoulder, his eyes
narrowing slightly.
“Just playing some hockey.”
The temptation to turn around and look at the guys is strong, but I push
it back, instead concentrating on my father.
I wonder how it must look to him. Me in the rink with four guys, alone.
 “Playing hockey?” he repeats slowly, as if he’s not sure he heard me
correctly.
“Yes, Dad. Hockey. As in a game that’s played on the ice.”
Those narrowed eyes turn to me. “Don’t sass me, Rei.”
“I’m just stating the facts.”
Dad folds his arms over his chest. “You can’t be playing around. You
know how easy it is to get injured…”
And here we go again.
“I know, I get it,” I interrupt him. The last thing I want is for him to get
into it with people watching the show. “I’m going to return the stick and get
out. Wait for me outside?” I plead, hoping he actually listens.
Dad once again looks over my shoulder. “Fine. I have to make a phone
call anyway. Don’t be too long.”
“Of course you do,” I mutter to myself, but he’s already walking out of
the rink so he can’t hear it.
Sighing, I crouch down and pick up the stick. I brace myself before
turning around and facing the guys. All four boys are standing by the goal.
The two guys I don’t know are a bit behind, trying to appear like they’re not
listening, but Zane and Spencer are just standing there, their arms crossed
over their wide chests as they stare at the door my father disappeared
through, matching scowls on their faces.
I skate closer and extend the stick toward Spencer. “Sorry for throwing
it like that.”
“Don’t sweat it. My baby has been through far worse.”
I shake my head as he slides his hand lovingly over the stick. If Dad
wasn’t just outside waiting for me, I’d have totally nagged him about it,
but… “I guess I better get going.”
“That your old man?” Spencer tips his chin toward the door.
From the corner of my eye, I see Zane’s mouth press in a tight line.
“Yup. I didn’t expect to see him here.” I tuck a strand of my hair behind
my ear. “I’ll see you guys later?”
Zane nods. “Sure.”
I give him a grateful smile and start to skate backward. “Good luck at
your practice. And thanks for teaching me.”
“Anytime.”
Turning my back to them, I hurry out of the rink. I quickly exchange my
skates for my shoes and grab my things.
 “Hockey, Rei?” Dad asks as soon as I get out of the rink.
“Do we really have to?” I ask, all the excitement at seeing Dad gone. “It
was just one game.”
“One game that could have cost you dearly.”
“Well, it didn’t. It was just a game.”
“Maybe this was a mistake. You said you’d take this seriously.
Concentrate on college and skating, but it seems…”
“I’m concentrating on both of those things. The Winter Games are still
the end goal.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose.
“I don’t want to fight, Dad.”
It feels like all we’ve been doing lately is fighting. Ever since I told him
my decision to enroll in college. And I hate it. Dad and I always had just
one another, so we’ve been really close, but now it feels like there’s this rift
between us, and I don’t know how to mend it. Can I even?
His face softens, making the ruthless businessman disappear, and the
dad I know and love is back. “I don’t want that either. I just get worried
about you, that’s all.”
“I’m fine. I’m not doing anything reckless. I know what’s on the line.”
“Okay.” He nods and wraps his arm around me. “Will you show your
old man around?”
I return his hug. “Sure thing, Dad.”

“Alex?” I ask a little while later when a hostess leads Dad and me to our
table, only to find Alexei already sitting there.
Since I walked to the rink, Dad dropped me at the dorm, where he
waited for me to get ready while he finished some of his work. The girls
were there, and I contemplated asking them to join us, but it was football
night and I knew they wanted to support our team, so I decided to forgo the
buffer. I never contemplated I’d actually be blindsided.
Alexei jumps to his feet, a smile on his face. “Rei. Anthony,” he greets
us and pulls out a chair for me to sit down. Always the gentleman.
“I didn’t expect to see you here.” Talk about an understatement. Then
again, this isn’t the first time Dad invited Alex over. He’s done it often in
the past, but we’re not home, not any longer.
“I invited him.” Dad takes his seat and orders a double Jack. “I wanted
to see how things are going.”
And you couldn’t just ask me that? I bite the inside of my cheek to stop
the question from coming out. I love my dad, but most of the time he can be
so overbearing. But he’s here, and I don’t want to waste our time fighting.
Not after the confrontation we already had in the rink.
As if he can read my mind, Dad continues, “Today when I got here, I
found her playing hockey of all things in the rink.” He and Alex exchange a
look. “I thought you were here to practice figure skating, or did that
change?”
The hostess brings him his drink, and he takes a sip.
I can feel Alexei’s curious look on the side of my face, but I ignore it. “I
was done with a two-hour-long practice, and the guys said they’d teach me.
I don’t see what the harm is in that,” I say once more, the anger that I
pushed back earlier shimmering back to the surface.
“Apart from the fact that you could have gotten injured because of a
silly little game and put your chance to go to the Winter Games at risk?”
I clasp my hands tightly in my lap, so tightly that my nails are digging
into my skin. “They wouldn’t risk me getting hurt!”
“You can’t know that. Hockey is rough and unpredictable, and so are
those boys.” He turns his attention to Alexei. “I thought I pay you to train
with her.”
Alex straightens in his seat. “You do, and I am—”
“Then why weren’t you there with her?” Dad asks quietly.
That’s the thing about Anthony Mitchell. He doesn’t shout. Ever. His
voice just drops lower and lower, until the only thing left is cold steel.
“Because I stayed longer to work some more,” I say, done with being
ignored. “I’m not five anymore, Dad. I’ve been practicing on my own for
years now and I’ve been fine.”
His face softens, if only a little bit. “You shouldn’t be working out
alone.”
“Well, sometimes I just need some alone time. And being in the rink
helps me think.”
Dad looks at me for a moment. I expect another outburst or protest, but
instead a small, sad smile appears on his mouth. I know what he’ll say even
before the words come out, because only one person has ever had that effect
on him. “Just like your mother.”
And there it is, his kryptonite. Even though Mom’s been gone for close
to two decades, Dad hasn’t stopped loving her for a moment. There has
been nobody else after her for him.
“Can we put this to rest and talk about something else? Please?”
“Okay, tell me what’s new? How are classes going?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
I quickly switch my stick from one hand to the other, slipping between
imaginary opponents as I go straight for the goal. Pulling the stick back, I
slam it against the puck and send the rubber flying into the goal.
“Not too shabby.”
I turn around and find Rei sitting in the stands, her eyes fixed on me. I
wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. “How long have you been
here?”
“I just got here a little while ago. I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
I skate closer to her, and that’s what I notice what she’s wearing. The
simple black dress clings to her body like a second skin, hugging those
curves of hers. She’s wearing a black leather jacket over it, with a pair of
heels on her tiny feet.
“Were you planning to skate in that?” I tip my chin in her direction,
trying my best not to stare at her legs. How is it possible that she is so short,
yet it seems like her legs go on for miles? It’s probably those damn heels.
“Not really, but I have to admit, now that I’m here, I’m tempted to do
just that.”
I get off the ice and Rei hands me my skate guards. She scoots over on
the bench and I sit next to her. I’m still in full gear, so I take half the space.
I probably stink, too. After all, I’ve been here for the past three hours,
probably even longer at this point, but Rei doesn’t seem to mind.
Rei’s gaze is on the rink, a longing expression on her face. “I love being
here. Whenever I have to think, I find my way to the closest rink. It’s just so
peaceful. It calls to my soul.” She turns to me, a self-deprecating smile on
her lips. “You probably think I’m crazy.”
“No, I get it.” It’s the same for me. The rink has always been a safe
place for me, somewhere to come and just be. Here it doesn’t matter who
my parents are, or where I come from. I can just be me. It’s okay to let out
all the dark parts of me, encouraged even, at least to some point. “Shouldn’t
you be out there with your dad?”
“He left for home after dinner. He has a meeting early in the morning.”
“Where’s home?”
“Lately? Boston. It used to be Japan, though.”
“No shit?”
 “Shit.” A small smile curls her lips. “My parents met and got married
there, but when I was around five Dad got an offer to move back home and
he took it. Too many memories, I guess.”
I get it, I really do.
In the end, all of us are running from something. Her from the painful
memories. Me from the darkness of mine.
“You and your dad seemed close.”
“When he’s not being a jerk.” She tilts her head to the side. “I’m sorry
for earlier. He can be so overprotective sometimes.”
Overprotective? More like an asshole. Who reacts that way when
somebody takes a few minutes to play hockey? It’s not like she entered the
rink during an NHL game. She was just having fun for a few minutes at an
empty rink.
“How was dinner?”
“Besides the fact that it was an ambush? Good.”
“Ambush?”
“He invited my coach to join us. Wanted to hear about my progress.”
She shrugs, her gaze daring toward the rink once again.
He what?
“And he couldn’t have asked you?”
I’m not one to lecture anybody on normal family dynamics, far from it
really, but even to me that seems shady.
“He did.” Rei sighs. “Maybe I’m just being a bitch. Alexei is family;
has been since he started coaching me a few years back. I was just hoping
for some alone time with Dad so we could talk since I haven’t seen him for
a while.” There’s a low, self-deprecating chuckle. “He was not pleased
when I told him what we’re working on.”
“What you’re working on?” My brows furrow. “Oh, you mean, the
quads?”
“Yes, the quads.”
The way she says it, you’d think she’s talking about some kind of
disease.
“What? Isn’t he happy? Like, isn’t that the next thing you should be
learning?”
Since I already ran my mouth last weekend, I figure I might as well go
all in. But holy shit, I wasn’t prepared for what I found. Not only does Rei
have an insane following on social media, she has her own Wikipedia page
listing all her accomplishments, which are many.
Figure skating prodigy.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I knew she was good. That
there’s something about her that’s just different. You don’t have to know all
the ins and outs of figure skating to know that. It’s in the way she moves on
the ice.
But it’s not her stats that interest me. It’s the videos. There were many
of those too. She’s traveled all around the world to compete all her life.
Places which I could only dream of. I don’t even remember how many of
them I went over. But what I realized pretty quickly was that she could do
triple jumps. That she did them better than most people, actually. At least,
that’s what the commentators always said. So what’s the deal with quads?
“It’s just a risky move.”
Her quiet confession breaks me out of my thoughts. “How risky?”
Everything professional athletes do is risky to some extent, but there is a
difference between just a normal level of crazy shit they deal with on an
everyday basis and crazy-are-you-out-of-your-fucking-mind shit. Plus, there
are some sports that naturally require more risk than others.
Rei holds my gaze for a heartbeat, nibbling softly on her lower lip. My
eyes zero in on the movement, watching her teeth sink into the plump flesh,
my mouth going dry. She lets the lip pop, color rushing back to the tender
flesh. “So risky, that you can count on the fingers of one hand the number
of female skaters who have actually managed to land it.” The silence falls
over us as her words sink in. Before I can even attempt to say something,
anything, Rei jumps to her feet. “I changed my mind. I’m going to skate.”
“Rei…”
I’m not even sure what I want to say. Don’t do it? Don’t risk breaking
your neck? Ask her why the hell didn’t she say it before? Something. I have
to say something.
From the side, she pulls the now familiar duffle.
“Where did that come from?”
“Alexei left me at the dorm, so I drove here,” she explains. “I always
have a duffle ready for the rink in the trunk.”
Of course she does.
There is a low swish as Rei opens the zipper and pulls out her skates.
She slides out of those killer heels and takes a skate.
 “You can’t skate in that,” I protest, jumping to my feet.
“Why not?” Rei slides her feet into the boot, quickly tying the laces on
one leg, and then the other.
“Because you’re in a dress.”
Hello, Captain Obvious.
“So?” She runs her hands over the skirt of the dress, making it flow
around her thighs. “I wear less to some of my competitions.”
I know she’s right. It feels like I watched all the damn videos of her I
could find online, and some of those dresses, or are they costumes?—fuck
if I know—are skimpy as fuck. How is that legal, anyway?
“Besides, see?” She raises the hem of her dress up, revealing more of
her skin.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I yell, placing my hand over
my eyes. My heart is beating hard, so hard I can heart the loud thump-
thump-thump echoing in my ears.
Rei laughs, the sound ringing in the empty rink. At least one of us finds
this amusing. “I’m not flashing you, don’t worry.”
I wet my dry lips, trying to get the words out. “I’m not worried about
that.”
What I am worried about is that I won’t be able to unsee it.
Unsee her.
Even as things are now, I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m not sure
what it is about Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki that fascinates me. Is it her love for
skating? Her dedication? Her determination? Or just the pure joy that’s so
obvious when she’s out on the ice?
Her smile?
“Then why did you cover your eyes?” she whispers.
My throat bobs, but I let my hand fall down. Rei’s standing right in
front of me, skate to skate.
“You started raising your skirt!” I protest.
A guy can take only so much torture. And I’m not even one of the good
ones.
“Don’t worry,” she chuckles. “When you’re a figure skater, you learn
early on how to make sure you don’t flash your ass to the whole rink. See?”
Once again, she lifts the hem of her skirt upward. Not enough to show
too much, but enough for me to see something black covering her thighs
under the dress.
 What do girls call these things? Boxers? No, boy shorts.
My hands clench into fists by my sides, my whole body growing stiff.
Yup, definitely not helping.
“C’mon, Zane. Don’t be a party pooper.”
With that, she goes to the door. Taking off her skate guards, she puts
them on the railing as she steps onto the ice.
Her head falls back, all that lush raven hair skimming her lower back.
It’s the first time I’ve seen it unbound like that in the rink, and I can’t help
but wonder, how would it feel under my fingertips? Smooth and silky, or is
there a slight roughness to it?
I know it’s long enough to wrap it around my wrist. Pull her closer to
me and tug her head back. Put my mouth on hers and taste her lips.
Something I’ve been dying to do since the first moment I saw her.
I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Get your head out of the gutter,
man.
Rei does a circle around the rink. She’s slightly bent forward, her hands
placed on her tights as she warms up her muscles.
I move closer, leaning my elbows against the railing as I watch her
silently.
I’m not sure what to expect, really. I’ve never seen her work out like
this before, it was always just bits and pieces I caught in between. But this
time, it seems different somehow.
After a few minutes of warmup, almost out of nowhere, she does two
consecutive jumps. They’re over in just a few seconds, and I can’t help but
stare at her in awe. Watching her pull it off seems almost effortless.
It’s one thing to see it on video, and completely different in real life.
She does a few more of them, skating from one side of the rink to the
other. I’m not sure what they’re called. They’re all so similar, I’m not even
sure if I knew their names, I’d be able to recognize them correctly because
the differences are so small, they’re not perceivable to an untrained eye.
Once again, Rei leaps into the air. There’s something different this time
around, and when she’s up in the air, I know what it is.
She’s attempting it.
The quad.
My hands grip the railing as she rotates as if in slow motion, but there at
the end it’s like gravity is pulling her down. Her face hardens as she falls,
barely catching herself from hitting the ice.
 She gets back up before I can blink, determination written all over her
face, and I know she’ll go at it again.
Her earlier words ring in my mind.
So risky, that you can count on the fingers of one hand the number of
female skaters who have actually landed it.
If it’s really so dangerous, why is she doing it?
What if she gets hurt?
I want to go out there and demand that she stop this at once, but this
isn’t about me. It’s about her. Her dreams. Her body. Her choice.
And Rei doesn’t seem like a reckless person.
Sassy, definitely. Determined for sure. But not reckless.
If she’s doing it, she knows she’s ready.
So, I press my lips in a tight line as I watch her attempt the quad again.
And again.
Every time she falls down. Every time the line between her brows
grows deeper. Every time her lips press together harder. But every damn
time she gets right back up and attempts it again.
And I watch her. I push back my doubts and personal feelings and
actually watch her. The way her body moves across the ice. The way her
muscles flex as she jumps in the air and starts to rotate.
“Extend your take off.” I step onto the ice, my eyes fixed on her as my
mind replays her technique.
“What?” She turns to me, that furrow between her brows directed at me.
“Extend your takeoff,” I repeat. “Give yourself more time to gather the
speed needed to jump off the ice instead of trying to break it by forcing
more strength into the jumping part itself. And try to fix your hips. I have a
feeling they wobble a little when you’re doing that last rotation.”
Rei lifts her brow at me. “I thought you didn’t know anything about
figure skating.”
“I don’t, but I know the mechanics of the human body.”
I know your body. I’ve watched it move on the ice.
“Fine.” Rei nods after a moment of thought. “Let’s try this your way,
God knows mine isn’t working.”
I watch her as she takes a turn around the rink, building up more speed
as she goes. I know the jump is coming when she switches into a backward-
facing position, her toe pick striking the ice as she jumps in the air.
 My hands clench into fists by my sides as I watch her leap into the air,
just a tad higher, her body starting to rotate.
C’mon. C’mon. C’mon.
But mid-fourth rotation, she falls back down.
“Again. Longer takeoff.”
Rei looks over her shoulder, an amused smile tugging at the corner of
her mouth. “Careful, Zane, you’re starting to sound like my coach,” she
teases as she passes me by.
That smug asshole? Yeah, right. Fat chance of that ever happening.
It didn’t take me long to realize that if I was going to look up Rei, I
couldn’t avoid her coach. Alexei Dimitriev is always around her, either in
the rink, or waiting just outside while Rei does her thing on the ice. He’s a
Russian-American, two-time Winter Games medalist figure skater. One of
the most sought-out coaches, he only trains Rei, has been training her since
he retired from professional sports. He’s also the asshole that walks around
the campus in a suit.
“Yeah, I don’t think so.”
Rei’s soft laughter fills the rink. She glides over the white surface,
gaining speed. Forward-backward switch. Her toe pick strikes the ice, and
she’s up, her hands pulled in close to her chest as she rotates.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Then she’s back again, her leg extended backward.
Holy shit. She did it. She actually did it.
Rei’s wide eyes find mine across the ice. The excitement, wonder, and
disbelief all cross her face in succession.
“Did this just…”
“You fucking did it!” I yell, laughing.
A smile spreads over her lips slowly, like she’s still not fully trusting
herself this actually happened.
“You actually landed it.”
Rei screams in excitement and runs toward me. Before I can even grasp
what’s happening, she jumps into my arms, her hands around my neck, legs
wrapping around my waist.
 I stumble back from the impact, my hands reflexively going around her
waist to hold her tight.
“I did it,” Rei says softly, pulling back just slightly so she can look at
my face.
She’s beaming. There are no other words to describe it, really. She looks
at me, those big brown eyes of her watching me like I just hung the moon.
But it’s not me. It’s her.
It’s all her.
And I’m just the lucky bastard who got to witness her make it.
“You did.”
She shakes her head, her hair teasing my fingers. I was right. It’s
smooth and silky to the touch.
My hands tighten around her, feeling her soft flesh. She’s so small, I can
barely feel her weight in my arms.
“I did it.” Rei looks down, her eyes fixing on my mouth.
She’s so close I can feel her body heat. Her sweet scent surrounds me,
making my head spin. It’s some kind of flowery scent mixed with sweat,
and something that’s all Rei. Her tongue darts out, sliding over her lower
lip. Her gentle fingertips glide to the nape of my neck, making goosebumps
rise on my skin.
“Rei…”
“Mmmm?”
Without blinking, she lifts her gaze, her eyes meeting mine. They’re
darker somehow, her cheeks rosy from the exercise.
God, she looks beautiful.
So damn beautiful, it almost hurts to watch.
“I—” I reach forward, the tips of my fingers grazing over her cheek as I
slip a strand of hair behind her ear.
Rei sucks in a breath, her arms around me tightening.
A strangled sound comes from deep in my throat. She’s not playing fair,
and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to resist her. Not when she’s in my
arms. So close I just have to close the short distance between us. Just a few
inches of space. That would be all it took to claim that mouth of hers and
find out the way she tastes, the way she feels.
“Zane.” My name is a breathy whisper coming from her mouth.
Screw it.
 Sliding my fingers to the nape of her neck, I pull her down, closing the
distance between us. Our mouths clash together, sending a jolt through my
entire body.
This.
This is what I’ve been waiting for.
Sweetness and tartness wrapped into a package that’s Rei Mitchell-
Nagasaki.
Rei moans softly, her fingers sinking into my shoulders as I angle her
head for better access. My mouth slides over hers, enjoying the fullness of
her lips. God, she’s perfect. This is perfect.
I slide my tongue over her lower lips. Feeling her. Tasting her. Her
mouth parts, and I slide my tongue inside. Rei meets me halfway, her
tongue tangling with mine, and deepening the kiss.
“Hey, you!” My eyes fly open at the sound of the pissed-off voice. I pull
back, breaking the connection. Rei blinks her gaze into focus, a confused
frown on her face.
“W-what?”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, huh? The rink is closed!”
Rei’s eyes grow wide as she realizes we’re not alone. Carefully, I lower
her back onto the ice, turning around so my body is shielding Rei from
view.
“Hey, Garrett,” I yell back, clearing my throat. “It’s me.”
The older man narrows his eyes. “Zane?”
“Yeah, sorry. I lost track of time, but I’ll be out of your hair soon.”
“Okay, but you shouldn’t work so hard.”
“I like working hard.”
“I know.” He nods. “Well, don’t stay too long. And good luck on the
game.”
“Thanks, Garrett.”
The old man grunts something and turns around, slowly walking up the
stairs.
“Garrett?” Rei whispers, skating to my side.
“Garrett Smith?” I look down at her.
Her hair is messy from my fingers, her lips still raw from the kiss. It’s
so tempting to slide my hand under her chin, tilt her head back, and let my
finger trace the curve of her mouth.
Rei lifts her brow. “You’re on a first-name basis with the handyman?”
 “Sure. He takes care of the rink. If you use it often, you better be on
good terms with the guy.”
Rei looks at the door behind which Garrett disappeared, a scowl
between her brows. “He seemed so grumpy when I first got here. I don’t
think he likes me.”
“He’s just like that.”
“I’m sure if I were alone, he’d tell me to get lost.”
“No, he wouldn’t. Garrett is cool.”
“If you say so.”
Rei blinks, turning her attention to me. Her gaze fixes on my mouth,
color rising up her neck. She watches me for a moment, as if she can read
my mind. As if she can see my internal struggle and how hard I’m trying to
keep my hands to myself. As if she would rather I don’t. If she wants me to
kiss her again as much as I want to do it.
I clear my throat and Rei looks away. “What now?”
She runs her hand through her hair, looking anywhere but at me.
“C’mon, let’s get out of here before we piss Garrett off, so he can
close.”
Rei sighs. “I guess you’re right. I was hoping I’d get to try it a few more
times before I go.”
“Is that what you’d do?”
“Yup. I practice until falling isn’t an option.” She looks at me hopefully.
“One more?”
Rei starts to skate away, but I grab her hand and spin her around. Her
eyes grow wide as she crashes into my chest.
“Not today. You’ve practiced enough for now.”
“But—” she tries to protest, but I shake my head.
“Garrett aside, you go to bed with a victory.” I place my hands on her
shoulders. “You landed a quad, Rei. Enjoy it.”
Rei thinks about it for a moment, but finally nods. “I hate it when you
make sense.”
“It sucks to always be right,” I chuckle.
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
Together we leave the ice and change. I grab both our bags in one hand
and throw them over my shoulder.
“You know I can carry that on my own, right?”
 “Sure you can. C’mon, let’s get out before Garrett finds out we’re still
here.”
We walk down the dimly lit hallways toward the exit, Rei’s heels
clicking against the tiles. Garrett is in the foyer and he glares at us as we
pass by.
“Is he always that grumpy?” Rei whispers so only I can hear her. She
turns toward me as she pushes the door open.
“Yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that guy smile and this is my third
year here.”
“That makes me feel a bit better. I thought it was me.” Rei pulls her
hand out of her pocket, a key dangling from her fingers. She presses the
button and the car’s lights blink to life. “That’s me.”
She extends her hand toward the bag, but I pull it back. “I’ll walk you to
your car.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t protest any longer.
“Can I have my bag now or will you put it in my trunk for me?”
“Don’t be sassy with me.” But I go around to her trunk and place her
bag inside.
When I look up, I find Rei leaning against the side of the car, door wide
open. Once again, she’s biting that lip of hers.
Is she doing it on purpose? Can she see how it affects me, and she’s
trying to get a reaction out of me?
“Zane?”
I force myself to look away from her mouth. “Huh?”
“I asked, do you need a ride home?”
I shake my head no. “I’ve got my bike.”
Rei looks up at the sky. “You won’t be able to ride it much longer.”
“I’ll manage.”
“Well…” There’s a slight pause. “Thanks for working with me on that
quad.”
“You’re welcome. You were amazing.”
“Let’s hope it wasn’t a one-time deal.”
“Nothing about you is a one-time deal, Rei.” My fingers itch to touch
her, but I hold myself back. “Get some rest, you’ll do amazing tomorrow.”
 I pull back, but Rei’s hand grabs mine. “Why do you believe in me,
Zane?”
“Because I can see you.” I swipe my thumb over her wrist before softly
disentangling our hands. “Drive carefully, okay?”
Rei nods and slides into her seat. I pull back, watching her buckle in and
start the car. With one last wave of her hand, she’s gone, but I stay in my
spot, watching as her headlights disappear down the road.
“Get a grip, Zane.” I turn around and go to my bike. I pull out my
helmet and lift my head. “Fucking hell.” How long has she been here? What
did she see? “Seriously, Candie? This shit again?”
My hand falls down, helmet resting against my bike. My heart is still
beating rapidly against my ribcage.
I’m losing my edge and I don’t like it.
Not one bit.
I used to be much more observant, my senses polished to perfection. It
was one of the skills I most prided myself on. Even now, after five years
living in a normal house in the suburbs, I still sleep with one eye open.
Even the smallest of sounds can wake me up. But maybe I’ve been off the
streets for too long after all.
Candie’s quiet for a moment, just observing me with her dark eyes. Her
pupils are dilated once again. “Is that any way to greet your mother?”
I look around, but the parking lot is empty. Ignoring her question, I ask
one of my own. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here?”
She moves faster than I expect, getting into my face. Her fingers grab
my chin, nails digging into my skin. “Don’t you take that tone with me,
Zane.”
She might be smaller than me, and way skinnier, but Candie West isn’t
one to mess around with. This close, with only my bike between us, I can
smell her stale cigarette breath. The smell of smoke, dirt and sweat clings to
her like a well-known perfume from my childhood.
My hands clench in fists by my side, but I don’t try to fight her.
“I thought we had a deal,” I bite out, barely holding it together.
“Well, I need more money.”
Of course she does, is there any other reason she’d be around?
“And I told you the last time, I don’t have any money to give to you.”
“And yet, you somehow found a way to get it the last time.” Candie
looks down the road, a calculating look on her face. A look I’m too familiar
with. You can say many things about Candie, but one thing’s for sure, she
ain’t stupid. Not when she thinks about her own ass. “You sure keep
interestin’ company.”
Chills run down my spine. I grab her hand that’s holding me, and tug it
away. Her nails scrape my chin. Her wide irises fix on me as I pull her
closer. “Don’t you go near her, you hear me?”
Candie tsks. “Don’t want to introduce your mom to your rich friends,
Zaney?”
Not in this lifetime.
“I don’t want you anywhere near me.” I let go of her. The movement is
so sudden she stumbles back. “Seriously, go away and don’t come back.”
I reach for my helmet, but she places her hand over it. “You know how
to make that happen.”
“I told you already. I don’t have any money.”
What the hell does she think? Just because I’m going to some fancy-ass
university that I have money lying under my bed? Yeah, right.
“Well, find it.” She smiles, but there’s nothing warm or loving about the
gesture. “Or I’ll have to do it myself.”
I stare at her, my fingers gripping the helmet so tight my knuckles have
turned white. I grit my teeth, refusing to engage any longer, but her threat
hangs in the air between us.
“I’ll even be generous. You have a week.”
With that, she pulls back, returning to the shadows she’s so fond of. I
stand there, glaring at the darkness until I’m sure she’s gone. Then I turn
around and kick the first thing that’s in my way, which turns out to be a
garbage can.
“Fucking hell!”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“That was good, Rei,” Alexei calls out as I land another quad toe loop.
I skate toward him, reaching for my water bottle.
“You think?” I take a swig, emptying half the contents before gasping
for air.
“Still a bit wobbly there at the end, but it’s getting there. I was thinking
we could maybe try to incorporate it into the long program. See how it
works when we add all the components together. Test it out.”
I nod my head. “Sounds like a plan.”
Alex’s crystal blue eyes take me in slowly. He ditched the jacket earlier,
pushing the sleeves of his sweater all the way to his elbows. “How do you
feel?”
“Good.” I return his gaze head-on. His arms are crossed over his chest,
his muscles flexing.
“Nothing hurts?”
“I’m fine. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
Alex unfolds his arms, placing one hand on my shoulder and giving it a
soft squeeze. “I don’t want you to overwork yourself. Quads aren’t
something to joke around with.”
“I know, I know.” I put the bottle back in place. “I actually tried to stick
with jogging, and I think it helps.”
His brows raise, the corner of his mouth twitching in a smile. “You?
Jogging?”
I shove him away lightly. “Hey, I can jog.”
And it doesn’t have anything to do with a certain hockey player.
Nothing at all.
“Do you want to go over the long program now?” I ask eagerly. I’m
ready to give this a go. “Maybe exchange that first triple toe loop
combination for the quad?”
“Not today. Let me think about it, and we’ll pick up tomorrow.”
I look down at my wrist. “You’re letting me go all of two minutes
early?” I say in mock surprise.
“Don’t be a smartass, Rei.”
“Whatever you say, boss.”
 I leave the ice, grabbing my guards in the process, and put them on my
blades as I go to the bench. I pull my BWU hoodie over my top and start
untying my skates. I have forty minutes before my next class, just enough
time to make it to the dorm, take a quick shower and change.
“Hey, I was thinking…” Alexei starts, but the door opens with a loud
bang and we both lift our heads toward it.
A group of guys enters, all of them larger than life, dressed in skates and
pads, with sticks and helmets in their hands. They’re a loud bunch, joking
and trash-talking on their way to the rink.
Alex crosses his arms over his chest, a scowl on his face as he looks at
them. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the hockey team before the whole thing
with Dad, but now he dislikes them even more.
“Settle down, guys, and let’s get to work.” An older guy, clearly their
coach, comes from in between all of them.
I watch them, searching for Zane. It doesn’t take me long to find him.
He’s just a bit taller than everybody else in here.
As if he can feel my gaze, he looks up and our eyes lock. My heart
kicks up a notch, and I can feel my mouth turn dry.
Spencer, who’s next to him, sees me too. He lifts his hand in a wave,
flashing me that charming smile of his. “Skater Girl.”
“Spence.”
Alex stands before me, blocking my view of the guys. “You know these
guys?”
“We share a rink, of course I know some of them.” Besides, after Dad
told him about our hockey game, he already knew that.
“Rei, you shouldn’t be getting distracted.”
“I’m not getting distracted. I’m making friends. Maybe you should try
it.” I grab my bag off the floor and hoist it up. I look out at the rink where
the guys are warming up, my eyes searching for Zane. I find him just as he
turns around. Once again, our gazes meet. I start to lift my hand to wave,
but he looks away.
The first time could have been an accident, but this? This was clearly on
purpose.
“I did something stupid.” I throw myself on the couch opposite Jade and
bury my face in my hands.
There is a shift in the room and the couch next to me dips as Grace
takes her seat. “What happened?”
“Do we have to kick somebody’s ass?”
“How about mine?” I ask, letting my hands drop in my lap.
“What did you do?”
I bite my lower lip. Hard. Maybe that will stop me from screaming in
frustration. Or maybe that’s exhaustion talking because last night I didn’t
sleep a wink. My mind was too busy going over everything that happened. I
kept tossing and turning, willing my body to shut off, but I just couldn’t get
him out of my mind.
The way Zane’s body felt against mine, strong and hard. He was
holding me like I weighed nothing at all. His large hands enveloping my
waist and pulling me flush against his chest. Yes, there was padding
between us, but it only served to accentuate his broad shoulders and strong
build underneath all those layers.
“I kind of, sort of, jumped Zane.” I force the words out in a rush, feeling
my cheeks heat.
This is so bad.
“You did what?” Jade’s eyes bug out of her eye sockets. If the whole
situation didn’t feel weird, I’d find it funny.
“When?”
“How?”
The girls start throwing questions left and right, and I just sit there.
Seriously, what was I thinking? I wasn’t, that’s the problem. I was just
so damn happy. Happy I landed my first quad after weeks of failing. Happy
Zane was there to witness it with me. Happy to see the look of pride on his
face when he saw me do it.
Everything just felt so… right.
“Seriously? Zane? Isn’t there a rule somewhere about falling for my
brother’s best friends?” Grace pinches Jade on the side. “Ouch! What was
that for?”
“You’re supposed to be supportive now!” Grace admonishes her.
Jade sighs, exasperated. “Is he at least big?”
I feel my cheeks grow warmer, if possible. “What?”
 “Jade!” Grace chastises her, her cheeks bright red. At least I’m not the
only one blushing.
“What?” Jade laughs. “You said to be supportive.”
“How’s that supportive?”
“Every girl needs a big dick in her life.” Jade turns to me and wiggles
her brows. “So, how was it?”
“It wasn’t like that!”
“Bummer.” Jade seems genuinely sad. “So what happened then?”
Since they were out yesterday afternoon, I tell them about the dinner
with my Dad. “So Alexei leaves me here…”
Jade’s brows raise. “The hot coach?”
“Eww, can we please not?”
“What? The guy’s hot.”
“He’s my coach. Has been since I was like thirteen.”
“Then you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way he looks.”
I roll my eyes. This isn’t the first time somebody has told me Alexei is
hot. All the girls at my last rink were drooling over him half the time, but I
never looked at him that way. “He’s like a brother to me.”
“If you say so…”
“Anyway, I was feeling down because of the discussion we had, so I
headed to the rink, and he was there.”
“Zane?” Grace asks softly, and I just nod my head yes.
Jade shakes her head. “You two should move into that place.”
Grace glares at Jade pointedly before turning to me. “So what
happened?”
“We talked about… just stuff, I guess.” I shrug. It was more than just
stuff. With Zane, I feel like he actually understands me. The real me. To
him I’m not just roommate-Rei, or figure skater-Rei, to him I’m me. A
person created of all the small pieces that make me who I am. “At first I
didn’t plan to skate, but then I changed my mind. I actually flashed him.” I
chuckle at the memory of his stupefied face when I lifted my dress.
“You did what?” Grace shrieks loudly.
“It wasn’t like that. I always wear boy shorts under a skirt, just habit I
guess. But his reaction was so comical. So yeah, I got onto the ice and I just
skated for a bit. Then I started working on quads. And he just stood there,
watching.”
“The guy was probably checking out your ass.”
 I shake my head instantly. “That’s the thing, I don’t really think he’s
into me like that.”
I could only wish.
There are moments when I think I feel his eyes on me, but when I turn
around he’s either not watching or if by any chance he is, he’s scowling.
“How can he not be? It’s a great ass.”
“Thanks? It’s just, he was so focused.” My body shivers as I remember
the way his gaze felt fixed on me. How my body got all warm because I
knew, without a doubt, that all his attention was solely on me. “And then he
gave me a suggestion for skating. It took a few tries, but I did it. I actually
landed a quad toe loop.”
“Really?” Grace’s smile grows big. “That’s awesome, Rei!”
“Yay, we knew you could do it! But seriously, what I want to know is,
when does jumping him come into play?”
“Just after that. I was still high on adrenaline. I couldn’t believe it had
actually happened, and I turned around and there he was, looking at me
like… I don’t even know.” I shake my head. “So what did I do? I jumped at
him. Like full-on, jump his bones, make him stumble back as I wrap myself
all around him kind of jump.”
“Did he catch you at least?”
I remember the moment he caught me. His warm breath touching my
skin. His arms wrapping around me. And that split second when everything
felt like it fell into place.
“Oh, he caught me, all right. And then I kissed him. Straight on the
mouth.”
My teeth sink into my lower lip and I swear I can feel it tingle. If only
we hadn’t been interrupted.
“Damn.” Jade waves her hand in front of herself, as if she’s cooling off.
I couldn’t agree more.
“Did he kiss you back?” Grace asks, nibbling at her lower lip.
I nod my head. They squeal, and I bury my face in my hands, feeling a
rush of heat climb up my neck.
I still couldn’t believe I’d done it.
“What happened then?” Jade wiggles her brows. “Did he press you
against the boards and have his wicked way with you?”
“Jade! God no, we were interrupted actually.”
“What?” Jade’s eyes grow wide. “No! By who?”
 “Mr. Smith.” At their blank faces, I explain, “He keeps an eye on the
rink.”
“Damn, what did he say?”
“Just asked us to leave so he could close.” I shrug. “I really hope he
didn’t catch anything because that’d be mortifying. I have to see the guy
every day.”
“So, you guys did what? Left?”
“Yup, he walked me back to my car, and I came home.”
“No more kisses?”
“No more kisses.” I remember the whole point of this conversation,
which brings a frown back to my face. “And then today, when I saw him in
the rink as I was finishing with my practice, he ignored me.”
“What?”
“Maybe he was just trying to concentrate?” Grace suggests.
I shake my head even before she can finish. “He looked at me, and then
he looked away. Twice.”
“Are you sure you don’t want us to kick his ass?” Jade asks hopefully.
“Not really.”
What I want is to know what the hell happened in less than twenty-four
hours to make him ignore me like that. Was it the kiss? Or something else I
did? Maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe he didn’t feel this electric pull I did
when we were in the same room.
“Ugh, guys are so dumb.”
“Right?” I try to chuckle, but the sound dies down quickly. “Maybe it’s
better that way. We’ve finally found some middle ground, and I’d hate to
mess it up. There’s just so much riding on this year.”
“But wasn’t the whole idea behind applying to college so you can have
experiences like this? Just enjoy being young? Flirt with the boys? It
doesn’t have to be Zane.”
That was the thing, I’m not sure I want anybody else. I like Zane; I like
him a lot. Maybe a bit too much.
“You know what I think?” Jade jumps to her feet. “I think we need to
get you out of here.” She grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet. “C’mon,
Marcus said there’ll be a little get together in his room.”
“Do we have to?” I groan. For all my talk about wanting to experience
all the things normal college kids do, this shit’s tiring.
 “Yes! We’re going to Marcus’s, we’ll have a drink, and flirt with some
cute boys. And I don’t accept no for an answer.”
I look toward Grace, but Jade sees the exchange. Jade points her finger
at Grace. “That includes you, missy. No more moping around.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER NINETEEN

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Dude, where were you the whole day?” Hayden asks as soon as I get
inside the house.
“Work.”
Kevin messaged me earlier with a job, but in order to make it, I had to
sneak out of my class early so I could do it before practice started. I was
cutting it close, but I had an additional three hundred bucks in my pocket,
so it was worth it. Plus, I managed to avoid seeing Rei in the rink.
Not that it helped, since I couldn’t get her out of my head.
It’s for the best.
“I tried calling you, but you never picked up.”
“Just busy.” I tip my chin at him. “What’s up?”
“We’re going out, you wanna come?”
“Who’s we?” I go to the fridge, scanning the contents before grabbing
milk and drinking some straight from the carton.
“Callie, Nix, and Yasmin.”
“And be the fifth wheel? Yeah, no thanks.”
“Nobody will mind.”
“I’ll mind.” I return the carton to the fridge and close the door.
“Besides, I have homework to catch up on.”
“You okay?”
“Fine.” I rub the back of my neck, feeling my muscles tense up. “It’s
just a long day. Coach is riding our asses since we’re still not meshing well.
I need to work on my internship essay because Snow wants to see some
progress. Not sure what, since she shut down every topic I came up with,
but okay. Oh, and I’m like three chapters behind on my anatomy reading
so…”
“You need to slow down.”
“No, what I need is to get all that shit off my to-do list.”
And stop thinking about a certain raven-haired girl. How good she felt
in my arms and definitely how good her mouth tasted under mine.
I finish the sentence and save the document, leaning back in my chair. My
eyes burn from staring at the screen for the past couple of hours.
Since everybody is out, and the house is blissfully quiet, I decided a
change of scenery was in order, so I brought my things to the kitchen to
work. Which was a good call because I managed to get a good chunk of
work done.
Still, I have yet to figure out what to do with my essay for Snow. I
already came up with a dozen or so ideas I presented to her during our
sessions, but she shut them down before I could even finish telling her
about them.
You can do better, was her answer as she waved me off and we
continued working.
Why did it feel like I couldn’t?
I rub the bridge of my nose, my eyes darting toward the screen of my
phone. I’ve tucked it behind the laptop so it won’t be easy for me to see
when it lights up with a message or notification, and mostly the trick works.
My stomach grumbles, reminding me I haven’t eaten anything since
lunch. Sighing, I close the document and cross the kitchen. There are
different leftovers in the fridge, but I settle on Grams’s meatballs. Popping
the lid on the container open, I put it in the microwave and turn it on.
Leaning against the counter as I wait for my dinner to warm, my
attention goes back to my laptop.
Screw it.
I know Rei’s out of town for a competition again. Did she do it? Did she
actually attempt the quad? From the little that I saw of her in the rink, I
know she’s been practicing.
I remember our conversation from the rink.
“How risky?” I asked her after she told me adding another rotation to a
jump isn’t as easy as it would seem.
“So risky, that you can count on the fingers of one hand the number of
female skaters who have actually managed to land it.”
With the sound of the microwave in the background, I take my seat and
open the browser.
Quadruple jump.
I press enter and wait for the page to load, and when it finally does
videos are the first things to pop up. Some dude who landed five quads in a
competition. Five. A Russian girl landed her first quad in a competition.
Possibilities. Statistics. A hint at a quintuple jump.
Five freaking rotations.
My throat tightens and I can’t even imagine what it must be like for Rei
every single day. The amount of pressure there must be in order to perform.
I saw her practice that quad. I saw her fall time and time again.
The first page that pops up is Wikipedia. Not the most trustworthy
source, but it’s a start. I click on the page and wait for it to load just as the
microwave beeps.
Sighing, I get up and grab the plate out of the microwave, and when I sit
back down the page is open.
My eyes scan the page, reading over the information, which is
consistent with what Rei told me. She wasn’t joking when she said only a
handful of girls have landed the jump. The first official one was in 2002,
and then nothing for the next fifteen years, and the girl who landed that was
only a thirteen-year-old child.
They call it the “quad revolution.” But as with everything else, there
comes a certain amount of doubt.
Based on the article and conversations with some of the coaches, the
force of the quad jump is huge. Between the required height one has to
achieve, and the moment of inertia, once you finally land on the ice, you
land with a force seven times one’s body mass.
Seven times.
I remember Rei falling, and now it all looks so much more different.
That shit has to hurt like hell. She joked with Spencer about being shoved
into the boards when playing hockey, but you get shoved maybe a handful
of times. Besides, hockey players are taller and heavier than her, and we
have the protection of the “stuffing” as she called it, while she has nothing
at all to protect her from possible injuries.
Rei’s a small thing. Barely five feet tall and probably isn’t ninety-five
pounds soaking wet. Seven times that weight balanced on one foot. And
you have to practice it for weeks, if not months or years, in order to
succeed. And even then, there are no guarantees, because it only counts if
you’ve landed it in a competition and if it was a clear rotation.
Dinner completely forgotten in front of me, I keep reading through the
articles, and before I know it, I’ve pulled out a notebook and started jotting
down notes.
 This is it.
Snow wanted better, so I’ll give her that. Revolution and the price one
could pay in order to be a part of it.
I have almost two full pages of notes when my stomach grumbles once
again in protest. Sighing, I pull my plate closer and dig into my now cold
meal. I should probably heat it back up, but I’m too lazy to get up. Besides,
my mind is still going over all the things I’ve just read.
I tap my pen against the page of my notebook, my mind going back to
Rei. These days it’s like she’s the only thing I think about.
Did she actually do it?
Did she land it in the competition?
It was crazy to even think about it. After everything that has happened
with Candie, after she openly threatened Rei like that, I promised myself
that I would let her go. She didn’t need to be pulled into my shit like that.
Nobody did. Candie is my problem, and my problem alone. I should let this
idea go and find another topic to write about, but I want to write about this.
I want to tell Rei’s story, not because it’s Rei, but because I find it
fascinating. Find her fascinating. I’ve seen how hard she works. I’ve seen
her determination, her dedication, her joy.
Before I can give myself a chance to overthink it, I type Rei’s name into
the browser.
Just this once.
I tap my fingers against the counter as the site loads, and since I
narrowed the search, a video that’s been uploaded mere hours ago pops up
first. I click on it, and Rei’s face appears on the screen. The quality is shit
since it was recorded from a phone, but I don’t care.
I stare at Rei’s face, drinking her in. God, I missed her. I didn’t even
realize how much until this very moment. I missed her laugh and her sass. I
missed seeing her out on the ice.
I fix my gaze on the slightly blurry image on the screen. Rei skates
across the ice. It’s the same choreography as the last time. Still, I watch
every move she makes intently.
Something is different about her, though. Her face is more serious.
Determined. She looks like a warrior princess ready to enter a battle.
I know the exact moment she’s going to go for it. It’s the takeoff. It’s
longer, just like I suggested. I suck in a breath, bracing myself as Rei leaps
into the air. Her body rotates quickly and I silently count the rotations. But
just when she’s about to enter the final one, she loses her balance and falls
to the ice.
My hand clenches into a fist, but before I can blink, Rei pushes off the
ice and continues like nothing’s happened.
Dammit, she was so close.
“Hey, where is everybody?”
From the corner of my eye, I see Maddox enter the kitchen, one of his
enormous coffee mugs in his hand. He barely looks at me as he goes
straight for the coffee machine.
“Out on a date.”
I watch as Rei finishes her routine and does her little bow at the end.
She’s clearly disappointed, but is putting on a happy face—that is, until she
skates toward the exit where Alexei is waiting for her and goes straight into
his waiting arms.
My gut tightens as he pulls her into a hug, his lips brushing against the
top of her head.
What the hell does he think he’s doing?
He opens his mouth, but whatever he said is lost because the video cuts
off.
I keep staring at the black screen, my thoughts still wondering.
Is she okay? Did she hurt herself? And what kind of coach hugs and
kisses his star athlete?
“Zane?”
“Huh?” I look up and find Maddox surveying me. I almost forgot he
was there.
He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just…” I look around the kitchen, my fingers clenching and
unclenching. Is there something going on between the two of them? I can’t
get the image of his mouth pressed against her out of my head.
Just a few days ago, I was the one kissing her.
But you also made a choice to ignore her, a little voice reminds me.
Bile rises up my throat, leaving a bitter taste behind.
It was for her own good. Candie saw her with me. She knows what she
looks like, the car she drives. I can’t put her in the middle of it.
“Zane?” Maddox tries again.
It’s better this way.
 Just then a message pops up on the screen. It’s a group chat with my
teammates. They’re out at Moore’s.
I close my laptop and stack my books together before getting up. “You
up for a beer?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“What are you up to today?” Jade asks from the doorway of my room. I
save the document before turning my attention to her.
“I have to finish this homework. Catch up on some reading.”
I might have only taken a few classes this semester, but some days I feel
like I’m behind. And I have yet to come to the halfway point of my season.
“Boring. How about you finish this in the next—” she looks down at her
phone “—let’s say an hour?”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Why? What do you have planned now?”
The last time we went out, I left them alone for like thirty minutes, if
that, and Grace got so drunk she did a keg stand, and barely made it home
in time before she started to throw up. I was surprised she even made it that
long.
A smile spreads over her lips. “A little birdy told me there’s a hockey
game tonight.”
My heart thumps stronger in my chest at the mention of hockey.
Stupid, stupid heart.
“Didn’t you say just the other day that I should flirt with other boys?”
She nods. “Yeah, I did.”
“So, why the change of heart?”
“Oh, it’s not a change of heart.”
There’s a glint in her eyes that I’m not sure I really want to decipher, but
the other part of me can’t help but ask, “Then what is it?”
“Two can play this game, asshole.” She winks at me and turns away.
“An hour, Rei.”

“Is it the same when you compete?” Jade asks as we walk through the
crowd to get to our seats.
I sweep a glance around the rink, taking everything in. The crowd is
loud, but the music is even louder. There is this energy buzzing through the
arena, and you’d have to be deaf and blind not to feel it. It’s infectious.
 I can’t believe, for a little while there, I actually contemplated staying
home tonight. It’s not even about playing some game with Zane. I came to
Blairwood to have fun. And this is fun.
“Not even close.” I chuckle at the stupefied look on their faces. “What?
It’s a different sport. You’ll never hear this level of noise during a figure
skating competition. Figure skating is like a theatre play, only in the rink.
You let the performer pull you into the story they’re telling out there on the
ice. It’s about the music and movement, and just the effortless beauty of the
sport.”
“You really love it, don’t you?” Grace asks softly.
“Figure skating has been a part of me since before I was born. There’s
this photo of me in the hospital just after I was born in this tiny pair of baby
skates that were especially made for me. Figure skating isn’t just a part of
my legacy, it’s a part of me. It makes me the person who I am.”
“Well, you better prepare, because hockey is all about crashing into the
boards and people yelling.”
“I thought you were a football girl, Jade?”
“I am, but I know a thing or two about hockey too.” Jade looks around.
“Hey, there’s Marcus. Let’s go.”
Jade grabs Grace’s and my hands and pulls us through the crowd. Some
people are already seated, so we have to push our way through to our seats.
“What took you so long?” Marcus asks as we take our seats next to him.
Jade leans over Grace. “We were waiting on Rei.”
“You were not! You said an hour.”
“Because I felt if I said thirty, you definitely wouldn’t go.”
“Well, I—” I stop, unsure of what to say.
Jade’s right. I’d been debating on whether it’d be a good idea to come. I
could deal with hockey, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to face Zane. Not
after the brushoff I got the last time we were in the same room together.
“Well, it’s good you guys made it before the game started.”
We chat a bit longer, yelling over the noises of the crowd so we can hear
each other. But once the players get on the ice, it’s pointless.
If I thought the energy was wild before, it has nothing on it now. It’s
like people went nuts. The crowd roars their approval as the players take the
ice to warm up.
And I’m not immune to it either. My feet are bouncing nervously as I
watch the players. They’re wearing their full equipment, so it takes me a
while to recognize who’s who.
First, I notice Spencer. It’s easy since he’s basically a man-child craving
attention. So when I see a guy blowing kisses at a group of girls in the
stands, I know it’s him.
A guy comes from behind him, shoving him away.
Zane.
Before I can get a good glimpse of him, the guys leave the ice.
We have to wait for the rival team to warm up, and then it’s game time.
Jade wasn’t wrong. The moment the puck drops, it’s like all hell breaks
loose.
And although the little trip I took with Zane when he went to visit his
friends prepared me somewhat for what to expect, it definitely didn’t do the
game justice.
All the guys are wicked fast as they navigate the ice. And I do mean
wicked fast. I’m a pretty fast skater myself, but it’s one thing to cross from
one side of the rink to the other when you’re the only one on the ice, and
something completely different when there are eleven other guys in the rink
dressed in full hockey equipment.
They’re pushing and pulling at each other as they try to take control
over the ice. The puck slides over the ice effortlessly, switching from one
player to the next.
One of the Ravens players smashes a dude in the red jersey against the
boards. The plastic rattles from the impact, making me jump in my seat. But
it’s exactly what they needed, as the other Ravens get into full-on offense
mode, going straight for the goal.
One player shoots the puck to Zane, who smashes it straight into the net.
It’s the same move he showed me, only executed way faster and with more
grace.
The crowd gets to its feet, me included, cheering loudly as the siren
blasts, the red light over the goal flashing.
The Ravens are officially in the lead.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“A fucking hat trick?” Spencer slaps me over the head. “Way to make us all
look bad, dude.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I laugh, pushing him away.
“You weren’t shabby either.”
“Just two shots.”
“And an assist,” somebody calls out.
“Who the fuck cares?” Marco, our left wing, yells. “We fucking
smashed them.”
“Cheers to that!”
We lift our glasses in the air before drinking down the contents.
The empty pitchers are replaced with full ones. Like after every home
game, people gather around our table, stopping by to talk hockey, or simply
congratulate us.
“What a game.” Hayden slaps me on the shoulder as he and Callie join
us.
“Thanks, man.”
“See how it’s done, Hades?” Spencer smirks, tipping his beer in
Hayden’s direction. “You football pussies better step up your game, and
fast.”
The laughter at the jab spreads through the group, but Hayden just
shakes his head. Last weekend they lost their first game of the season by
one touchdown. Before that, the team has been on a winning streak for
weeks, and I knew how much this year means to Hayden since he’s
planning on entering the draft at the end of the season. It sucked royally, but
it was a tough game.
“Fuck off, Spencer,” Nixon mutters as he joins our group. “The only
pussy here’s in your pants.”
Spencer looks at the table next to ours where a group of girls has been
sitting and checking us out. “Not yet, but soon.” He lifts his glass in the air
in salute and winks at the group.
Shaking my head, I turn my attention to my roommates. “I didn’t realize
you guys were here.”
“We’re at the back with some of the guys from the team,” Hayden
explains.
 “Well, we were, but then somebody had to go and play big brother.”
Callie looks pointedly at Nixon.
“Hey, she had a beer in her hand!” Nixon protests.
Wait… Jade’s here?
“So?” Callie rolls her eyes at him. “So does every other person in this
place.”
“She’s my sister. My underage sister.”
“Again, your point being?”
“She shouldn’t be drinking.”
Callie scoffs. “Like you were any better. The girl’s just having some fun
with her friends.”
They continue their discussion, and I listen with half an ear, most of my
attention directed at the people in the bar. Especially a certain raven-haired
girl.
This is a bad idea.
I take a sip of my beer just as my phone buzzes. My hand clenches
around the glass. If I ever need a reminder of why this will never work out,
this is the one. I pull out my phone, noting the message.
“I have to take a leak,” I say to nobody in particular. Shoving my phone
back in my pocket, I get up and move through the throng of people toward
the back of the bar.
People call my name as I pass by, congratulating me on the first win of
the season. I nod at them in acknowledgment, but don’t stop to chat.
When the bar comes into view, once again I catch myself looking for
her.
Don’t be an idiot…
First I find Jade, who’s talking to the bartender. As if she can feel my
gaze, she looks up, her eyes meeting mine. She raises her eyebrow at me.
Jade’s here, so she should also… Rei throws her head back and laughs.
She’s with Grace, her other roommate, and those guys they were with that
first time I saw her. Her black hair is loose and wavy tonight. Like a fucking
temptress. And I’m not the only one who’s tempted. The tall dude she’s
with lifts his hand and throws it over her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug.
He opens his mouth, and I can imagine a dozen different lines he’s feeding
her.
My fingers clench into fists by my side.
Move on, dude. You’ve got shit to deal with.
 Forcing myself to turn around, I slide back into the dimly lit hallway.
Strangely enough, the place is empty; the entire space is significantly more
quiet than the bar. There’s a sign for bathrooms on the door to the left, while
the ones on the right are for employees only.
I move past them, going all the way to the end and the back exit. I test
the doorknob, but it’s locked, no key in sight.
I quickly glance over my shoulder to confirm I’m still alone, before
pulling a pin out of my pocket. God bless Callie, and her inability to clean
up all her shit after herself in the bathroom.
I quickly work the lock with the metal pin, the years spent fighting for
my survival and the next bite coming back like they’re nothing.
The lock gives in quickly, and I step outside, closing the door behind
me. The stale smell of garbage hits me at once, bringing out the memories
that I buried deep inside. I suck in a gulp of air, holding my breath to stop
myself from puking my dinner up.
This isn’t your life anymore, I remind myself. You left it behind.
“Still handy, I see.” My head snaps up, gaze fixing on Candie. “You can
get a guy out of the ghetto, but you can’t get the ghetto out of the guy.”
I grit my teeth. A dozen comebacks play on the tip of my tongue, but I
know fighting with her will only prolong this. “Do you want the money or
not?”
Her eyes flash, a greedy glint shining from their depths as her mouth
curls into a smile. “I thought you said you didn’t have it.”
Wordlessly, I pull a wad of cash out of my pocket. It’s the money I
earned from the last job I did for Kevin. It fucking sucks that I have to give
it to her, but I’m not risking her pulling some shit and getting my friends
dragged into this mess. Because that’s exactly what Candie is. One big
fucking mess.
I keep my face impassive, not giving her anything. “I’m not here to play
your mind games, Candie. Do you want it or not?”
Candie tries to reach for the cash, but I put it over my head. She
stumbles from the sudden movement and has to brace herself against my
chest in order not to fall. “What the hell?”
“This is the last time,” I say quietly, looking down at her glaring eyes.
I can’t keep doing shit like this. I want her out of my life. Gone, like
she’s been for the past five years.
 “Fine, give it to me.” She tries to reach for it once more, but I don’t
budge.
“I mean it, Candie. You take this and you get the hell out. I don’t want
to see you, I don’t want to hear from you. It’s done. After this, we are
done.”
“I said fucking fine!” She digs her nails into my shoulder, going for the
cash.
This time when she reaches for the money, I give it to her. She doesn’t
even bother counting the money, just stashes it in her bra. Classy, as always.
“You’re an asshole, just like your father.” She spits on the floor.
“Don’t care one fucking bit.” I shrug nonchalantly. “You got the money,
now get the hell away.”
Candie presses her mouth into a tight line and glares at me. She hates to
be the one shown the door, but I’m not leaving here until she does.
Something flashes in her eyes. It’s a look I haven’t seen in a long time,
one I hoped I never would.
“I wonder what you’d say if you knew the truth of who he is.” Candie
turns on the balls of her feet and starts walking away. “Later, Zane.”
I clench my teeth, not moving my gaze from her until she gets out of the
little alleyway. Rationally, I know she could come back and go to the main
entrance, but I hope this is enough to get rid of her. At least for a while,
because God knows, something’s telling me this isn’t the last I’ll see of
Candie no matter how much I want that to be the case.
I wonder what you’d say if you knew the truth of who he is.
Her words ring in the silent space, but I force them to the back of my
mind. She’s just trying to mess with my head. Playing games. That’s what
she’s a master at, because that’s the only way she thinks she can have
control over somebody.
Well fuck it, I’m done playing.
I turn around and head back inside. The hallway is still empty, so once
the door is closed, I lean against it and inhale deeply. I can still smell the
stink from the containers at the back. It’s overwhelming, bringing back
memories I worked so hard to bury.
You’re not that boy anymore.
“Dammit.” I run my hand through my hair roughly and let it fall down
by my side. There’s a loud bang when my fist connects to the door behind
me.
 “Zane?”
My eyes snap open, fixing on Rei. Light and shadows play on her face,
but they can’t hide the worried furrow between her brows as she looks at
me like I might snap at any moment.
“What are you doing here?” She extends her hand, like she wants to
touch me.
“You should go back to your friends, Rei.” The words come out harsher
than intended, making her flinch back.
It fucking hurts to see her flinch like that, but I can’t have her see me
like this. She shouldn’t be here at all.
She narrows her eyes at me. “I don’t want to go back to my friends.”
“Well, you should.”
Stay away from me, Pix. I’ll bring you no good.
“Or what?” she snaps. “You’re going to ignore me again?”
I sigh, feeling like the piece of shit I am, but it’s better this way. Rei
deserves better than a guy who just broke out of the bar to give his junkie
mother money for her next fix or whatever the hell she might need it for.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I whisper, looking away.
I can hear her soft footsteps and then her hand is brushing against my
jaw, coaxing me to turn to her. “A lot of things shouldn’t happen, but they
do.”
Her slender throat bobs as she swallows.
She’s talking about the kiss.
The kiss that’s been driving me insane, keeping me up long into the
night, and making me even grumpier than I usually am. All of it just
because I want something that I can’t have. Somebody I shouldn’t even dare
to want in the first place.
It’s not even just about the money. Rei is somebody. Her mother was a
freaking Winter Games medalist, and she’s destined to become one herself
sooner rather than later. I just know it. There’s legacy in that, honor. And
what does a boy from Ashton Heights know about that?
Nothing.
Fucking nothing.
“Is this about the other day?” she asks softly. “About the…”
“No.” I turn my head to the side, away from her gentle touch.
“Did I do something wrong?”
No.
 It’s me, all me.
“That’s not it.”
Rei’s hand falls down to her side, and she sighs exasperatedly. “Then
what is it? One moment we’re getting along, and the next you’re acting like
a dick again.”
“Maybe I’m not acting.” I turn to her, raising my brows. “Ever thought
of that? Maybe that’s just the way I am.”
She presses her lips in a tight line. “Bullshit.”
“How the fuck would you know?” I snap at her.
Why does she have to make this so hard? Harder than it already is?
Why can’t she just give up like so many have done before?
“I just do. That.” She waves her hand in my direction. “That’s not you.”
“Well, then you obviously don’t know shit about me.”
There’s the sound of heels clicking, and two girls appear from down the
hallway. From the corner of my eye I can see them give us curious glances
before they duck into the bathroom.
“Fine,” Rei says when we’re finally alone, “Be a dick if you want. Fuck
if I care.”
She turns her back to me and abruptly walks away. I watch her until
she’s safely out of the shadows and back in the bar.
Always watching from the shadows.
That’s the difference between us, Pixie. I’m always standing in the
shadows, toeing the line of good and bad. And you? You’re destined to
stand under the spotlight.
Once she’s out of sight, I tilt my head back, letting it bang against the
door. “Fucking hell.”
I inhale sharply, pinching the bridge of my nose.
It’s better this way. She’s better this way. Rei isn’t the kind of girl
who’ll ever look twice at a guy like me. Nor should she. She deserves better
than that.
Better than me.
Somebody like that smug, suit-wearing asshole she calls coach. Or like
that guy she hangs out with.
I stay in the back a little while longer, so long that the girls come out of
the bathroom. When they see me standing there, they quickly dash away.
Get your shit together, man.
 I push from the door and smooth my hand over my shirt. I have to get
back out there. I’ve already been gone long enough, and the last thing I
need is for somebody to start asking questions.
The light hits me when I reenter Moore’s, making me squirm. The place
is still full, and the music is blasting loudly, making my head hurt.
I should probably get the hell out of here and go home.
Better than spending the rest of the night with my gaze wandering,
hoping to catch even a glimpse of Rei. Because that’s all I can have, secret
glimpses of the gr—
You’ve gotta be fucking shitting me.
I stop in my tracks when I see them.
Rei and Spencer.
They’re standing by the bar, so close their bodies are brushing together.
Spencer says something to the guy manning the bar, and he hands him a
drink, which he gives to Rei, his come-hither smile working overtime.
My hands clench into fists by my sides as I stare at them. Somebody
bumps into me, but I don’t even bother turning around.
I’m going to fucking kill him.
Whatever he says has her laughing.
A dull ache rises in my chest.
She wasn’t smiling when she was with me.
It’s better this way. It’s—
Spencer reaches forward, his fingers playing with her hair.
Fuck better.
I quickly work my way between people until I’m at my friend’s side. I
place my hand on his shoulder and pull him back toward me. The fucker
has the audacity to look amused.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“He’s a fucking moron, you know that, right?” Spencer asks seriously,
handing me the drink.
I laugh, but the sound is weak. I don’t feel like laughing. I don’t feel
like being here at all, but Jade and Grace are dancing with Marcus and one
of his friends, and I didn’t want to leave them without saying goodbye.
Besides, why should I be the one to leave, anyway?
“He just makes me so angry sometimes.”
Spencer extends his hand, tugging at a strand of my hair playfully.
“He’ll come aro—”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Zane growls, turning
Spencer toward him and glaring down at him.
I suck in a sharp breath. I’ve seen a lot of sides of Zane, but never this
one. Zane is completely pissed, and honestly, he looks a little scary.
“We were just talking.” Spencer lifts his hands in the air. “Chill, man.”
“Seriously, Spence?”
I wrap my hand around Zane’s wrist. His muscles are tense under my
touch, but I don’t pull back. “Let him go, Zane.”
He doesn’t even bother to look at me, all his attention fixed on his
friend. “I don’t know about that.”
I look between the two of them. Spencer’s smiling like he’s amused
with the whole situation, and the more he keeps grinning, the deeper Zane’s
scowl becomes.
“Ugh!”
Infuriating men.
I slide under Zane’s arm and get between the two of them, jabbing my
finger at Zane. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
He looks down, shifting the full power of that angry glare at me. There’s
a tick in his jaw, but no words come out.
“You have no right, Zane. No fucking right. Not after brushing me away
just moments ago when I wanted to talk.”
“So what? You come on to my friend?”
I flinch back like he slapped me. In a way, he did.
Tears gather in my eyes, but I bite the inside of my cheek. Hard.
“Fuck. You.”
 Fuck all of this.
Ducking quickly from under his hand, I dash for the door. Spencer says
something, but between the loud music and the buzzing in my ears, I don’t
hear him.
I don’t care enough to hear him.
“Rei!” Zane calls after me, but I don’t stop or turn back to talk.
He had his fucking chance to talk. Twice. Now he can go to hell for all I
care.
I push through people, hoping to see the door.
I just need to get the hell out of here.
“Rei, wait.”
“Leave me alone,” I yell over my shoulder just when the door comes
into view. I hurry around a couple and push it open, stumbling outside.
The chilly night air hits me in the face, reminding me I left my jacket
inside.
“Rei!”
Strong hands wrap around my shoulders, tugging me back. My back
bumps into Zane’s hard chest as he envelops me from behind.
“Let me go,” I protest and dig my fingers into his wrists, trying to
disentangle from his embrace.
I need him to let me go.
“I’m sorry, Rei. I—”
I turn around in his arms and, placing my hands on his chest, I push to
create some much-needed distance between us. “I’m not playing games
with you, Zane. I’m no—”
Zane looks down at me. There’s anguish in his eyes that matches the
feeling in my chest.
“Fuck, Pix.”
He cradles my face, and I lean into his touch. It’s impossible not to. Not
when my body craves him this much.
He swears once again, and then his mouth is on mine.
I suck in a breath at the first touch of our lips. A sizzling energy
crackles in the space between us like it always does when we’re together. It
goes through him and into me as our lips mash together.
I want to punch him in the gut.
How dare he kiss me after acting like an asshole?
How dare he?
 But I don’t do it because I want this more.
I want him more, his insufferable, broody attitude and all.
I rise on the tips of my toes, wrapping my hands around his neck to
bring us closer together. My nails graze the skin at the nape of his neck as I
run my fingers into his coily hair, tugging at the soft strands.
Yes, I want this more.
Want him more.
The way he makes me feel is sheer madness.
My tongue slides into his mouth, deepening the kiss. Zane groans as his
tongue tangles with mine. His hands move to my ass and pull me closer to
him. He dips me back, his tongue swirling with mine. Sucking. Tasting.
I wrap my leg around his.
I need more. More of him. More of his mouth.
Closer. Faster. Harder.
There are catcalls and hollers in the background, but I ignore them. If
this is the only chance I get to kiss Zane West, I’m damn well going to
enjoy it to the fullest.
So I kiss him harder, letting one hand roam over his body. The column
of his neck, the slope of his shoulder, his firm chest. Every muscle in his
body is well defined, my body molding to his like a glove.
It shouldn’t work. We shouldn’t work. But somehow we do.
When he starts to pull back, I tighten my hold on the nape of his neck.
“Not yet.”
I’m not ready to let go just yet.
Zane lets out a shaky breath and leans down, pressing his forehead
against mine. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying,” I protest even as one tear slips down the side of my
face.
“You shouldn’t. Not because of a punk like me.”
I open my eyes and find him staring at me. “Is that how you see
yourself?”
Is that why you don’t want to be with me?
Zane cups my cheek, the tip of his finger gliding over my raw lower lip.
“You deserve better than me, Rei.”
“There’s nobody better.”
“The fuck there isn’t.”
 “Well, I don’t care about anybody else. I want you.” I place my hand
over his. “What are you going to do about it, Zane?”
He stares at me intently, and I can see the internal battle in him. I need
him to make a decision because I can’t keep going on like this. My mind is
already all over the place, and I can’t risk losing focus.
When he doesn’t say anything, I pull back.
And he lets me.
I shake my head, hoping the cold air will dry away the tears burning on
my eyelids. “Goodbye, Zane.”
I turn on the balls of my feet, but before I can take a step, Zane’s hand’s
on my wrist, and he’s pulling me back.
“Fuck this.”
He lifts me in the air, and my legs instinctively wrap around his waist as
his mouth crashes over mine. There’s nothing gentle about the way he
kisses me. Just pure desperation.
Just as abruptly as the kiss began, it also ends.
“One day you’ll realize what I’ve been telling you, but until then—”
Then his mouth is on mine once again, so I don’t get a chance to tell
him how utterly wrong he is.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
My grip on Rei’s hand tightens as her dorm comes into view. I don’t want to
let go of her, not now that I finally have her. Not when I don’t know how
much time I have. Because I know, deep down I know, I won’t be able to
keep her forever. That’s just not how my world works.
“You’re quiet,” Rei says softly as we cross the road.
Loud laughter comes from down the street, where a group of students is
probably returning to their dorm after a night out.
“Just thinking.”
When we get in front of her dorm, I pull her to a stop. Rei looks over
her shoulder, a confused smile on her lips. “What is it?”
I step closer, until our feet are touching, and I can feel her soft scent, the
warmth of her skin. My jacket is laid over her shoulder, keeping her warm,
since she forgot hers at Moore’s and I didn’t want to go back inside. Not
when I’m still not sure I won’t strangle Spencer.
I tip my chin toward the door. “You should go inside,” I say reluctantly.
We didn’t say much as I walked her back home. But now that we’re
here, I’m not ready to let go.
Rei watches me for a while, her teeth nibbling at her lower lip. I fix my
gaze on her mouth, remembering the way those lush lips felt under mine.
She lets her lip pop and tugs at our intertwined hands. “Come with me,”
she whispers softly.
It’s a bad idea.
We both know what will happen if I walk her inside and up to her room,
but Rei seems determined to make it happen. She cocks her brow in a silent
question. A challenge.
Seriously, at this point, what’s another bad idea?
This time when she tugs, I follow her up the steps. She slides her card,
and the door makes a buzzing sound as it unlocks, letting us inside.
The hallways are empty, not really strange for almost one in the
morning. People are either out partying or asleep in their beds.
The girl sitting at the front desk doesn’t even bother to lift her head at
the sound of the door opening. So much for security.
Rei pulls me up the stairs all the way to the fourth floor and down the
hallway until we stop at her door. She pulls a key out of her bag and puts it
in the lock. A soft click rings in the otherwise silent hallway, but she doesn’t
open the door yet.
I move closer, my body brushing against hers. I sneak my free arm
around her waist and put it on her flat stomach. “Are you sure about this?”
“I want you, Zane.” Rei turns around slowly, tilting her head back so
she can look at me. Her brown eyes seem darker in the dim light of the
hallway, a bright fire sizzling in their depths. She cups my cheek, rubbing
the stubble with her thumb. “I wanted you from the moment I met you.”
“You mean, you wanted to strangle me?” I try to joke, and it works
because Rei chuckles.
“Maybe, a little. But I also wanted you.”
“Not as much as I wanted you.”
Rei pulls me down for a kiss, her mouth brushing against mine.
In the back of my mind, I can hear the door open. Rei’s hand falls from
my cheek onto my chest, fingers digging into the material of my shirt.
I’m not sure if she pulls me inside, or if I push her, but the next thing I
know we’re in almost complete darkness. The door falls shut, and I’m
pressing Rei’s body against the hardwood, my hands sliding over the side of
her leg and under her thighs, lifting her so she’s propped up by the door.
She wraps her legs around my waist, a soft moan coming from her mouth as
her core brushes against my hard dick.
“You feel so good,” Rei murmurs as she pulls away. She peppers kisses
over my jaw and down the side of my neck.
“Not nearly as good as you.”
My hands slide over the side of her leg, feeling the strong muscles. I’ve
been with my fair share of girls, all of them beautiful in their own way, but
there’s something about Rei’s body that calls to me. It’s like every curve
and dip was made for my hands. She has an athlete’s body, with strong
muscles that were built with the purpose of doing the impossible.
My fingers skim up her waist, the tips of my fingers sliding under her
shirt. Her skin is smooth, and I can feel a shiver go through her at the
teasing touch.
I turn my face to the side, my mouth meeting hers. Our mouths touch,
tongues tangling together. She tastes sweet, like cherries and the most
tempting mistake.
“Which one’s your room?”
“The one on the right.”
 Tightening my hold on her, I walk us through the room. The jacket I
gave her earlier falls down to the floor, but neither of us bothers picking it
up. Later. It can all wait for later.
I bump into something, probably a couch, on my way to her room. A
sharp pain spreads through my leg, making me hiss.
“You should have put me down,” Rei protests, laughing softly.
“No way.”
Now that I’ve got my hands on her, I don’t want to let go.
“Fine by me,” she mutters, and then her mouth is back on me. Licking
and nibbling at my skin.
When did the dorms become so fucking big?
My cock throbs painfully as she works her wicked magic on me. I can
feel her heat even with the layers of clothes between us.
Thankfully, her door is open, and I can see the outline of the bed in the
left corner from the light peeking through the curtains.
Fucking finally.
“Off you go.”
I disentangle Rei gently from my body and toss her to the bed. She
bounces off the mattress, laughing softly. I place my leg on the edge of the
bed ready to join her, just as a soft light flickers on, blinding me.
I blink, taking a moment to adjust.
Rei’s propped on her elbows, her teeth sunken into her lower lip as she
watches me. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly, the silky material of her
shirt shifting with the movement.
“Better?” she asks shyly.
I take her in. The brightness in her dark, almond-shaped eyes. The rosy
flush in her cheeks. The smile curving her lip.
“Fuck yeah.”
I lean over her, one of my hands holding my weight, as I sink the other
into her hair spread over the pillow. The kiss starts slow, every swipe of my
mouth over hers deliberate, thoughtful.
I’ve been waiting for this, thinking about it, about Rei, for so long, I
want to enjoy every second I get.
I move from her mouth, placing small kisses over her chin and the side
of her neck. Rei tilts her head, and I can see the fast flutter of her heartbeat
in the column of her neck. I place my mouth against it, feeling her heartbeat
accelerate.
 Rei’s fingers sink into my hair as her head falls back. “This is what you
do to me.”
“Good.”
My hands slide down her side, slipping under her shirt. The silky
material is delicate, slipping through my fingers with even the smallest of
movements.
Rei’s eyes meet mine, and I slowly lift it up, revealing more of her skin.
She arches her back slightly off the mattress, helping me pull the shirt off of
her. A couple of seconds, that’s all it takes for the damn thing to slide off,
leaving her in only a dark bra.
“You’re beautiful.” I put my hands on her waist; she’s so tiny my
fingers touch without much effort. I skim my finger over the underside of
her tits. “So beautiful, but so small. Sometimes I worry that I’m going to
hurt you.”
“Hey.” Rei cups my face, her finger tracing my cheekbone. “I know
you’d never hurt me.”
There’s such conviction in her voice, such trust. She moves closer,
pressing her lips against mine.
“Your turn,” she whispers against my mouth. Her hands slide over my
back, tugging the hem of my shirt. Impatient, I help her pull it off and throw
it on the floor.
When I turn my attention back to her, Rei’s wide eyes are fixed on me
and for a moment, I forget how to breathe.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

OceanofPDF.com
REI
Holy Moly.
I mean, I’m not sure why I’m even surprised. I knew Zane was built.
But I never imagined how built.
“You look…” I shake my head, trying to come up with something
coherent to say. But there’s nothing, only mush. So I close my mouth and
let myself drink him in. His wide shoulders, his defined muscles and narrow
waist, a very defined six-pack leading to…
A flush spreads over my cheek and I’m pretty sure I look like a tomato.
Sexy? I think not. But I can’t help myself. He’s freaking gorgeous. And all
mine.
I extend my hand, my fingers gliding over skin so hot it burns my
fingertips.
“I knew you had tattoos, but never realized there are so many.”
I trace the images engraved into his skin. They start on his shoulder and
go all the way down to his wrist, black ink barely noticeable on his dark
brown skin.
“They look stunning.”
“You like?”
I nod my head, my eyes still fixed on different images, trying to figure
out if there’s a pattern to them.
“Well, that’s just one part.”
Before I can ask what he means by it, he gets off the bed and turns his
back to me.
“Oh, my…”
A phoenix rising from the ashes, his wings spread wide, is covering his
back. I push myself off the mattress so I can move closer.
“Zane, that’s beautiful,” I whisper, too awestruck to say more.
The tattoo is magnificent and so fitting for the man standing before me.
He looks over his shoulder. “You seriously like it?”
“It’s perfect.”
I place a kiss in the middle of his back, just over his spine. He shivers at
the touch, goosebumps covering his skin.
“I didn’t take you for a girl who’s into ink,” he says, his voice rough.
“Well, you don’t know everything about me.”
 Zane turns around and cups my cheeks. “True.”
He leans down and kisses me deeply on the mouth.
I wrap my hands around his neck, holding him close. Zane sneaks one
hand behind my back, unclasping my bra. Our chests touch, naked skin on
naked skin.
My hands move down his torso and stomach to his belt. My hands
shake slightly as I unbuckle the clasp. Zane pushes his pants down,
removing his shoes and socks in the process.
He’s slightly breathless, standing tall, in his black boxer briefs that
barely contain his bulge.
My throat bobs as I just stare at him.
Zane chuckles. “My eyes are here, Pixie.”
My eyes snap up to find a teasing smile on his lips.
“I think you’re overdressed,” he murmurs, moving closer.
His hands grip my hips, and I can’t help but pull him in for a kiss. Zane
tucks his fingers under the edge of my skirt and pushes it down my legs
along with the tights I have on. I get them off my feet, tossing them on the
floor.
Wordlessly, I move back, pulling him with me. We fall on the mattress
and Zane’s weight presses into me, kicking the air out of my lungs.
“You’re so fucking beautiful it hurts to watch.”
“I have a boy’s body.”
It’s true. Not only am I short, but my boobs and ass are small. It’s great
for figure skating, but not when it comes to guys.
“Boy’s body?” Zane cups one of my breasts, his thumb slowly rubbing
over the tip. “Did you look at yourself in the mirror?”
“My boobs are small.”
“Your boobs are perfect.”
As if to show me, he lowers his head, his mouth latching onto my nipple
and sucking it into his mouth. My body jolts from the bed as the pleasure
ripples through me.
“Z-Zane.”
His name is a whimper coming from deep in my throat.
Zane flicks his tongue over erect flesh, his teeth grazing ever so slightly.
With his hand, he kneads my other boob.
“I need more.”
 “More?” His nose nuzzles the side of my neck, his hot breath touching
my skin. “Like this?”
His fingers disentangle from my flesh. I want to demand that he returns
to what he’s been doing, but then his fingers work their way all the way
down to my panties.
“You’re so freaking wet.”
Zane slides his fingers over my lace-clad mound, his finger dipping
slightly between my lips. My panties are soaked, clinging to my skin. He
shoves them to the side, skin on skin. His finger dips between my lips,
teasing my opening.
I spread my legs wider, giving him better access. My hands grip the
sheets as his finger slides inside me.
I exhale a shaky breath as he pushes one finger inside, making my core
clench. My head falls back, eyes closing. “Fuck, more.”
“So greedy,” Zane laughs, but the next time, there are two fingers. The
fit is tight. Almost too tight. The line of pleasure and pain thins as my body
adjusts to him. Which isn’t that hard since I want him so much it hurts. I
don’t think I’ve ever wanted anybody as much as I do Zane West.
“I need you inside me.”
If I don’t have him, I feel like I might burst.
Zane pulls his fingers out of me, leaving me empty. He lifts his hand to
his mouth, sucking on his fingers. Fingers that were just mere seconds ago
deep inside me.
“So sweet.”
“Zane…” I protest.
He slips his finger under the band of my thong and pulls it down my
legs. He fists the material, bringing it to his nose. His pupils dilate,
swallowing the bright green of his irises.
“Play with your pussy for me,” he says, his hushed voice sending
shivers through my body.
Biting into my lower lip, I do as instructed, sliding my hand down my
body all the way to my bare mound. I suck in a shaky breath as my fingers
graze over my hard nub.
“Just like that,” he coaxes. His rough, raspy voice makes me shiver.
Pushing his briefs down, he grabs his thick cock in his hand, giving it a
strong pump.
 My mouth waters at the sight of him, big and hard. My pussy clenches
just at the thought of him pushing inside me, filling the deepest part of me.
“Z-Zane.” His name falls off my lips in a stutter, my fingers working
harder on my clit as I watch him.
There is something erotic about this moment. Both of us touching
ourselves, our eyes fixed on the other. His arm muscles are taut as he works
his length in long, hard strokes.
“Are you wet enough for me?”
My cheeks heat at his question. His voice is quiet and rough, his eyes,
dark with passion, take me in.
Zane moves closer, getting between my legs.
I slide my fingers lower, coating them in my wetness before I pull them
out and glide them over my clit, putting more pressure on the little bud of
nerves.
A quiver shakes my body. I’m so close to the edge, I want to scream.
“Y-yes.”
Something flashes on his face, and before I can even think about it,
Zane’s fingers wrap around my wrist and pull my hand away. I groan my
protest, but Zane only chuckles lightly. He pulls my hand to his mouth and
sucks on my fingers.
A low moan escapes him as his tongue slides over my fingers, cleaning
every last drop.
My fingers pop, and he slides his tongue over his lips. “So fucking
sweet.”
“If you don’t stop teasing me, I’m going to scream.”
He leans down as if he’s going to kiss me, but I bite lightly into his
lower lip.
“As you say.”
“Do you have a condom?”
He lifts a little square package. I’m not sure where he pulled it from, but
I’m so grateful he did.
Zane places his knee on the mattress, making it dip. “Are you sure you
want to do this?”
My fingers tighten in his hair, and I pull him down for a hard kiss.
“I want to hear you say it.”
“Yes,” I breathe. “I want you, Zane. Now.”
 I spread my legs wider. He leans down, his body covering mine. I can
feel his cock nestle between my thighs, his hot, hard length pressing into
me.
Zane rocks his hips forward, sliding his cock between my lower lips,
coating himself in my wetness.
“Zane,” I pant in protest. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him
closer. I need to feel him inside me, but he doesn’t budge.
He shakes his head. “Not yet.”
Beads of sweat shine on his forehead, his biceps quivering by my side.
No, he takes his sweet time, prolonging my torment, and with every slide
the head of his cock rubs against my clit.
“Ugh, I swear if you don’t hurry I’ll scre—”
The last word turns into a moan as he slides into me, stretching me
slowly. My inner muscles burn, a mix of pain and pleasure, as I try to adjust
to his girth.
“Fuck,” he pants, his hot breath touching my skin. Zane presses his
forehead to mine. “You’re so tight.”
My fingers dig into his shoulders, head falling back. “Just don’t stop.”
“Not a chance.” He slowly pulls back, leaving just the tip, before sliding
back inside, deeper this time.
Our breathing quickens as he continues rocking inside of me. I clench
my thighs around him, meeting him for every thrust.
Our mouths mash together in a hungry kiss, a desperate need to have
more coursing through me as the pressure builds low in my belly.
Zane changes the angle, his hand sliding under my lower back and
lifting me even higher.
“Yes.” I run my fingers over the back of his head and into his hair. “Just
there.”
“Like this?”
He increases his tempo, his muscles tightening under my fingertips.
“Harder.”
Zane complies. At this new angle, with every thrust, he’s rubbing
against my clit, creating friction.
My pussy tightens around his length as the sweet, sweet pressure starts
to build.
“Z-Zane.”
 We share an open-mouthed kiss. It’s sloppy, our teeth grazing together,
our movements turning jerky as we chase our release.
My hand slides down his back, nails scratching his skin. I press my
hand against his ass. Zane thrusts even deeper into me, hitting a spot I
didn’t even know existed.
A wave of pure pleasure ripples through me. I burrow my head into the
crook of Zane’s neck, a loud moan ripping from my lungs as the release
washes over me.
Whatever control Zane was holding on to snaps. His thrusts become
harder, faster, deeper. And just when I think I’m done, another jolt of
pleasure rips through my body, and this time Zane joins me.
Zane’s body tenses over me, his hips rolling into me as he empties his
release.
Zane tries to move away, but I tighten my hold on him. “Not yet.”
“I’m crushing you.”
“I don’t care.” I slide my hand over the back of his head and down his
neck. A sheer layer of sweat covers his skin. “That was…”
Zane props himself on his forearm, his hand pushing a strand of my hair
that got in my face out of the way.
“Fucking amazing?”
“So humble,” I chuckle. “But yeah.”
“I should really take care of the condom.”
“Ugh, fine.”
Zane’s hand caresses my leg as he pulls back. The bed squeaks loudly
as Zane gets up and off it. I roll to my side, tucking my hand under my chin,
and watch his naked back—okay, his amazing ass too—as he walks out of
the room. It’s so firm, I bet you could bounce a quarter off it.
He peeks through the small gap in the door and checks out the room is
quiet before slipping out.
“It’s the room next door!” I yell after him, shaking my head.
Zane returns in record time. I pull back, not that there’s much space left
on the single mattress. He climbs into bed and pulls the blanket from the
bottom of the bed up. One of his hands sneaks under me, and he tugs me
closer. I place a small kiss on his torso before laying my head over his
chest, loving the way his naked skin feels pressed to mine.
“Are you okay?” Zane’s fingers play with my hair. “I didn’t…”
 Before he can finish, the door bursts open in the main area. Zane and I
look at each other, eyes wide.
“Rei? Are you here?” Jade calls out from the living room.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I chant, looking around for something to put on, but
there’s only a blanket and Zane.
“Rei?”
“I’m here,” I say weakly.
Zane’s panicked eyes meet mine. “Are you crazy?” he whisper-yells.
“What?”
What should I have done? If I don’t tell them I’m here, they’re going to
enter regardless, and since the door isn’t locked, they’ll walk right in on us.
“We were so worri—”
“I’m fine!” I say in a hurry just as the doorknob starts to turn. “You
don’t need to—”
“Jade!” Grace calls from the other room.
The doorknob stops, the door staying firmly shut.
Thank God.
“What? I’m just checking on her.” To me she says, “We heard about the
fight.”
“She’s fine,” Grace says softly in the other room.
“How can you know? I swear I’m going to punch Zane in the face when
I see him.”
The man in question winces, and I giggle. The whole situation is just
too absurd.
“I know because of this.”
There is a slight pause on the other side, and I wonder what is
happening behind the door, then, “Hey, Zane.”
Zane clears his throat. “Grace.”
Jade groans. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”
I burrow my head in Zane’s shoulder, giggling.
“This isn’t funny,” Zane hisses quietly.
“It is so.”
“It’s not. I wouldn’t put it past Jade to barge in here during the night and
kill me.”
“C’mon, Jade, let’s go to bed.”
I can hear soft footsteps near my door, and I can totally imagine Grace
walking over and grabbing Jade’s hand to get her away.
 “Fine.” Jade knocks once against the door. “But you’ve got some
explaining to do in the morning, missy.”
“Goodnight, guys,” Grace says.
“Night,” we call in unison and then their feet move across the space to
their rooms.
“Fucking finally,” Zane groans, letting his body relax against the
mattress.
I jab my finger into his chest. “They were just worried.”
“Doesn’t mean I want them to come in here and see my junk.”
“You’re covered. Besides, didn’t you just minutes ago walk around the
suite naked as the day you were born?”
“That’s different.”
“How so?”
“I knew they weren’t there.”
“They could have appeared at any moment.”
Zane wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls it to his mouth, placing
a kiss on the back of my hand. “And that’s why the next time we’re going to
do this in my place.”
“The next time?” I slide my leg over his and sit upright in his lap.
“Well.” His hands grip my hips as he pulls me closer, his mouth
brushing against mine. “Maybe the one after that.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“You could have stayed in bed,” Rei says as I walk her across the campus to
the rink.
With the back of my hand, I cover another yawn. I don’t want her to feel
bad and think she’s responsible for waking me, when it was me. I wanted to
stay over last night. I wanted to hold her, to reassure myself it’s not all just
another dream.
But seriously, how can she be so awake when it’s not even six in the
morning? I’m used to getting up early, but even I’m not this good at the
morning routine. Not after a night full of sex. No, I wanted to curl around
Rei and not let her leave the tiny-ass bed. Next time we’ll have to go to my
place. I forgot how small and cramped dorm beds are. I had to let my legs
hang off the foot of the bed, and Rei curled into my side, half her body
plastered to mine. That last part I didn’t mind one bit.
I lift our joined hands and press a kiss on her knuckles. “Not without
you.”
She wiggles her brows playfully. “You were just afraid Jade was going
to make good on her promise.”
I glare at her. “I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“She’s not that bad.”
“She’s Nixon’s sister, that’s enough.”
I slow my step and pull Rei back when we get close to the rink, turning
her in my arms.
She places her hand on my chest, those big brown eyes looking up at me
tenderly. “Is it silly that I don’t want to go inside?”
“No, it’s not. But you have to go. You have another competition soon,
right?”
Rei nods her head. “Next week.”
I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I want to see you smash it.
Did you make any progress on the quad?”
“I attempted it in my last competition, but didn’t land it. Still a work in
progress, I guess.” Rei sighs, a frown between her brows. “I got to this level
where I haven’t been learning anything new in a while, and I forgot how
hard it can be. I’m getting pretty solid at landing the toe loop, so I bugged
Alexei into working on a quad Salchow. The landing is still wobbly, but I’m
getting there.”
“Practice makes perfect.” I brush my thumb over her cheek. “You’ll get
there. I know you will.”
From the corner of my eye, I see a black BMW turn into the parking lot.
“If you come one day, I can show you.”
I shift my attention back to her. “Oh, a private show? I’d be down for
that.”
“More like motivation.”
The car door opens and closes, footsteps coming closer.
The nape of my neck prickles, but I refuse to turn around to
acknowledge the arrival of Rei’s coach. “You should probably go.”
She wraps her hands around my neck. “Just a minute.”
The corner of my mouth lifts, my hands going around her waist. “When
are you done?”
“Rei?” a thickly accented voice asks.
No matter how much I want to ignore him, he won’t let himself be
ignored. I look up and see her coach scowling at us.
No, not at us.
At me.
My whole body tenses, because I know that look. I’ve been seeing it
directed at me my entire life.
“Just a minute, Alex.” Rei glances over her shoulder, before returning
her attention to me. “Two hours. Why?”
I shake my head. “So like eight?”
“More like eight thirty. I usually go back to the dorm to take a shower.”
“How about I pick you up and we go for waffles?”
“Are you trying to kill me?” she groans.
“What?”
What’s wrong with waffles? Or is it me? Does she not—
“Do you know how many calories those have? Like a gazillion.”
“They don’t. Don’t tell me you think you’re fat?”
She’s so tiny I can circle her waist with one hand.
“Of course not. But my ankles will be forever grateful if I monitor my
diet. Which sucks, because I love a mean cheeseburger.”
“Everybody loves a mean cheeseburger. So, no waffles?” I ask, slightly
disappointed.
 “Only if you help me work off those calories later.” She lifts on her toes
and presses her mouth on mine. “What do you say?”
“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Sorry for being late,” I say as soon as I enter the rink. I’ve already
unzipped the bag on my way inside and pulled out my jump rope.
Alexei stops his pacing and turns to look at me, his face unreadable.
I shrug off the duffle next to the bench and move to an open space,
untying the rope quickly.
“A friend of yours?”
“I…” I’m not sure what to say. How to define us. Is there even a way to
define what Zane and I are? He hasn’t said anything about being exclusive,
but it’s not a one-night stand either since we’ll have breakfast later today.
My tongue darts out, sliding over my dry lips. “Yeah, something like that.”
Alex’s eyes narrow at me, but I ignore his disapproving glare and start
with my warmup.
For a while, neither of us says anything as I prepare to go out onto the
ice. Only once I’m done, skates on my feet, does Alexei put his hand on my
shoulder.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I look at the rink before turning to him. “Skating?”
“With that boy.”
I press my lips in a tight line, not appreciating his tone. “I don’t have
any idea what you’re talking about. And that boy is my friend.” I shrug his
hand off of me. “Now if you’re done being a dick, I’m going to skate.
Quads won’t start landing themselves.”

“And she escapes after everything that happened last night!” Jade crosses
her arms over her chest as she faces me down as soon as I get back to the
dorm.
“I didn’t escape,” I protest, shrugging off my duffle by the door. “I had
practice, you know that.”
“Tomato, tomahto.”
Grace comes from the other side, looping her hand through mine and
pulling me toward the couches. “Ignore her, she just didn’t have her
morning coffee yet.”
“Hey, I’m really pleasant in the mornings.”
Just then the coffee machine buzzes and the smell of freshly brewed
coffee fills the air. Jade turns around and grabs the cup, taking one long sip
as fast as she can.
“Like a grizzly bear who’s awoken from her winter sleep.”
Jade turns around and glares at us. “I’m nothing like that.”
Grace looks at me and rolls her eyes, mouthing, Not at all.
Grace pulls me to the couch, sitting down next to me. Jade takes the
other couch, a mug of steaming coffee in her hand. I look at it longingly.
“Now, what the hell happened last night?” Jade demands.
“Can’t I take a shower? I’m sure I stink.”
“We’ll survive.” Jade rolls her eyes. “What we won’t survive is the
suspense, so spill. How the hell did Zane get from fighting with you in
Moore’s to sleeping in your bed last night?”
My cheeks heat at her question. The memory of Zane’s hand roaming
over my body still alive in my mind.
“There’s nothing much to say.”
Grace pulls her legs onto the couch and close to her chest, wrapping her
arms around them. “The last we heard, you guys were in some epic fight.”
“Who told you that?”
“Spencer.”
“Of course.” I’m going to strangle him when I see him. “We had a
disagreement, but we resolved it.” I start to stand up. “Can I go take a
showe—”
“Sit down.” Jade jolts upward and pulls me back down. “We aren’t done
just yet. Resolved it how?”
Sighing, I lean back. Might as well get comfortable as I go over
everything that happened last night. Well, everything to a point. Because
some things are just meant for me and me alone.
“Can I shower now?” I ask once I’m finished talking. In detail, I might
add. “Zane’ll be here soon.”
Based on my smartwatch, he’ll be here sooner rather than later.
Grace’s eyes turn wide. “He’s coming here?”
“Does he have a death wish?” Jade asks over her shoulder as she takes
her cup back to the counter. “I still vote that he’s an asshole for acting that
way.”
 I nibble at my nail. I can see her point. I’m not naïve enough to believe
last night resolved anything, but it gave me hope that maybe Zane is finally
ready to open up to me. “I think he believes he’s not good enough.”
“What?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug, feeling uncomfortable even saying it. “It was
just something he said. The way he said it.”
“Do you think he’s not good enough?”
“What?” I turn to look at Jade. “Of course not! Zane’s amazing. You
know, when he’s not acting like a dick. I can talk to him for hours and he
just… gets me.” I look at my friends. “All of me.”
The silence stretches between us for a moment. Talking about this has
never been easy, and for some reason, it’s even harder with Jade and Grace.
They haven’t known me long. But my entire life has revolved around figure
skating. Dad, Alexei, they see me as a figure skater, but there’s more to me
than just that. To Jade and Grace I’m a friend and roommate and I’m so
thankful to have them pull me back to the real world when I get too sucked
up in skating, but Zane… Zane sees all parts of me. He sees the girl, the
friend, the skater. And he never makes me feel like I’m less for being any
one of them or for prioritizing one of them when necessary.
“Well, when you put it like that.”
I just hoped Zane would see it too. Because against my better judgment,
I have started to fall for the guy, and I can only hope he’ll be there to help
me defy gravity.
A soft knock at the door has us turning our heads.
“Great.” I get up and run my hand through my sweaty hair. “Zane’s here
and I still haven’t taken a shower.”
Jade gives me a little push. “Off you go, we’ll cover for you.”
I look over my shoulder at her. “You will?”
“Of course we will.”
She sounds too cheery for her own good. “Be nice.”
“I’m always nice. Seriously, go take a shower.” She sniffs the air around
me and makes a face. “You stink.”
“Fine.” I go toward the bathroom, but still turn around, which earns me
a shoo from her. Grace just laughs from her spot on the couch. “But
seriously, be nice."
 I’m just entering the bathroom when Jade opens the front door and I can
hear Zane’s muffled voice. “Is Rei here?”
“Bathroom. She just got home.”
“Okay.” There’s a slight pause. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, but first tell me what are your intentions with our friend?”
I peek through the bathroom door to see Jade leaning against the
doorway, arms crossed over her chest.
There’s another pause, but I can’t see Zane since he’s standing just out
of my sight. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“She’s our friend. That makes it our business.”
“Jade,” Grace says in warning. The couch squeaks as she gets up and
goes to Jade. She loops her hand through Jade’s and pulls her away from the
door. “At least let the guy inside before you grill him.”
“Thanks, Grace.”
I close my door as they enter, but press my ear against it to hear what
they’re saying.
“So what are you guys up to?” Grace asks. “Is this like a date?”
“It was supposed to be,” Zane mutters. “We’re going to the diner for
waffles.”
“Macy’s?” this comes from Jade.
“Just the one.”
“Damn, they have the best waffles in town.”
Zane sighs. “Well, you might as well come since everybody in my
house had the same reaction when I told them.”
Jade squeals loudly. “You’re the best.”
“If I’d only known waffles were the way to her heart.”
I bite into my lip to prevent the laugh from coming. Moving away, I pull
off my clothes and get into the shower. I guess I have a date this morning.
Even though it involves all of his friends and mine.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
I pull my phone out of my pocket as I get out of the auditorium with the rest
of the students who are still discussing the anatomy pop quiz we just had.
Me: Where’re you at?
Taking two steps at a time, I move through the groups of people until
I’m out the door. The day’s gloomy, the sky gray, and you can feel the smell
of snow in the air.
I zip my jacket all the way to my neck just as my phone buzzes in my
hand.
Rei: Studying.
Me: Which library?
The bubbles appear almost instantly.
Rei: *coffee cup emoji*
I chuckle, shaking my head. Of course she’s there.
Locking the phone, I shove it into the pocket of my jacket and cross the
road toward Cup It Up. The walk to the café takes me less than ten minutes.
Since there’s a bite in the air, everybody is rushing to get out of the cold
quickly.
“Look who’s here.”
“Hey, Yasmin,” I greet her as I come closer to the counter, rubbing my
hands together to warm up my frozen fingers. “I didn’t know you were
working today.”
“Just picking up a shift in between classes.” She finishes wiping the
counter before turning to me. “What’re you having?”
“Black.”
Yasmin rolls her eyes. “You guys and your black coffee.” Still, she goes
around to start preparing it. “Going to class?”
“I actually just finished one. I have some free time before I meet the
guys at the gym.”
“Nixon mentioned that,” Yasmin says, nodding. “Anything else?”
“Actually, I’ll need another one of whatever she’s having.” I point to the
corner where Rei’s sitting away from everybody, her eyes fixed on the
screen of her laptop, and although I can’t see it, I’m pretty sure her earbuds
are tucked in her ears.
 Yasmin’s brows shoot up, a knowing smile playing on her lips as she
goes on making Rei’s drink. She looks over her shoulder at me.
Sighing, I lean against the counter. “Just say whatever you have to say
already.”
“I don’t want to say anything.”
“I call bullshit.”
“Okay, fine.” She puts the lid on the drink and hands them both to me.
“It’s just nice to see you happy for a change.”
I hand her a bill which she takes, ringing in the order. Her words go
through my mind as I say goodbye to her and move between the tables
toward Rei.
She lifts her head when my shadow falls over her, the smile spreading
over her beautiful face when she sees me making something tug at my
chest. “You’re here.”
Maybe there was something to what Yasmin said.
“Why did you think I texted you?”
I put our cups of coffee on the table before shrugging out of my jacket
and sliding into the seat opposite hers.
“You didn’t have to.” Rei picks up the cup of coffee and brings it to her
face, inhaling deeply. Her eyes grow wide. “How did you know I switch?”
Switch? My brows furrow. “Switch what?”
“First I have coffee, but then I switch to tea.”
“Oh, I can’t take credit for that, it’s all Yasmin. I just told her to give me
whatever you’re having.”
Rei looks toward the counter. “She’s your roommate’s girlfriend, right?
The one dating Jade’s brother?”
“Yes, she’s dating Nixon.”
“She’s nice.” Rei leans her elbows on the table, placing her head on her
folded hands. “She usually works here when I come in between practices.
Once she joked we have the same shift in Cup It Up.”
Rei is rigorous when it comes to keeping to her schedule. But I guess
that’s to be expected. On the days she has classes, she practices four hours.
That’s on-ice only. She turns it into six hours on days she doesn’t have
classes, like today, and in between she’s usually here studying or watching
clips from the rink.
“That’s because you’re the only one who comes here to study.”
“I am not!” she protests.
 “No?” I laugh at her outraged expression. “How long have you been
here, anyway?”
She looks at the screen of her laptop. “Just a little over two hours. But
that guy over there’s been here since before I came.”
Slowly, I peek over my shoulder to check out who she’s talking about.
“That guy’s like seventy!”
“So?” She quirks her brow. “Are you trying to say that old people can’t
go to college?”
I shake my head at her. “You’re something else.”
“But you like it.”
Fuck, I do.
I lean forward, placing my mouth on hers. Her eyes grow wide for a
moment, like she’s surprised by the movement, but then they soften, her lips
turning lush as she returns the kiss.
“What are you working on?” I ask, taking a sip of my coffee.
“I just finished the essay for my intro to physics class.”
A group of people enter the café, chatting excitedly. “I seriously don’t
get how you can work here. It’s so noisy.”
“That’s why you bring your earbuds.”
“I think I still prefer the library.” I check the time, sighing regretfully. “I
should actually go there.”
“Why?”
“I want to use their computer to get some work on my internship essay
done.”
I just wanted a chance to see her because getting some time together is
practically impossible.
I wish I could stay, but my laptop is so freaking slow I can do barely
anything on it, and even when I do, I’m half expecting it to die mid-
sentence, so I obsessively click save just in case. The last thing I need on
top of all the other shit I’m dealing with is to lose some of my schoolwork I
spent hours working on.
“Use mine.” Rei shoves her Mac toward me.
“What?”
Unblinking, I stare at the shiny new computer.
“Use mine, I’m done with it for now anyway.”
I’m not sure how long I stare at it, but it has to be for a while because
Rei places her hand over mine, snapping my attention to her.
 “It’s not gonna bite you, you know?” she jokes, tucking a strand of her
hair behind her ear. “I mean, we can go to the library if you want, I’m fine
either way.”
“You seriously don’t mind?”
Rei takes her cup and moves it to the free table next to ours to make
more space to turn the laptop fully toward me.
“I have this to occupy me.”
She lifts a textbook in the air, but I barely pay any attention to it because
a photo on her screen captures my attention. It’s Rei, but it’s not. Her eyes
are slightly more narrow, her teeth a bit crooked as she smiles for the
camera, but that’s Rei’s smile.
“Is that your mother?”
A longing smile tugs at her lips. “Yeah, that was her last competition
before she retired.”
This time, it’s me who places my hand over hers, giving it a soft
squeeze. “You look a lot like her.”
Rei looks at the laptop; she can’t see the screen, but I don’t think it
really matters, some memories you just can’t escape.
“Thanks.” Rei blinks and looks up at me. “Did you end up picking your
topic for the internship?”
“Oh, I picked several, Snow just didn’t want to approve any of them.” I
insert my thumb drive into her computer and open it, clicking on the Word
file for the internship project.
“Which one did she end up approving?”
The title of the paper appears on the screen. I still haven’t told her the
topic, it actually surprised me Snow approved it, but she genuinely seemed
excited by the prospect so even if I thought it might be a bad idea, there was
no pulling out.
I look over the edge of the screen at Rei’s excited face.
“So, are you going to tell me or not?”
It’s now or never.
I turn the laptop around and show her the screen. She reads the title, a
little frown appearing between her brows.
“Skating Revolution: Quadruple jumps and the impact—” Rei looks up
at me. “But that’s about me.”
“Well, it’s about figure skating, not you exactly. Do you mind? If you
do, I’m pretty sure I could convince her to change the topic to something
else.”
“What? No. That’s not it. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I figured you
weren’t interested in figure skating.”
I place my hand over hers on the table. “I never said I wasn’t interested,
just that I don’t know anything.”
Rei looks back down at the screen. “I guess you can’t say that any
longer. Not with twenty pages of this essay written.”
“I guess I can’t. It was just an idea, but then I started reading and what I
found was fascinating. Do you know how amazing you are?”
One corner of her mouth lifts into a smile. “Will you let me read it after
you’re done?”
“If you want to.”
“I do.” She grazes her teeth over her lower lip. “I really do.”
I watch as she picks up her textbook and opens it to where she left off.
Sighing, I turn the laptop around and get to work.
Lately, I’ve tried to concentrate on my paper for Snow since my whole
grade depends on it, and I was already at a disadvantage because I was the
last one to have my topic approved. I’m not sure how long I’ve been at it
when Rei shifts in her seat, drawing my attention.
“Hey, Dad.”
I look up to see Rei smiling, her finger tucked between the pages of the
book, phone pressed to her ear.
“Just catching up on some college stuff.” She waits for him as he
speaks, but whatever it is has her rolling her eyes. “I have another practice
at four, the gym and then skating.”
I place my hand over her ankles. She looks up at me, a smile playing on
her lips as she listens to her dad. She extends her legs and props them on the
chair next to mine. I’m actually surprised she managed to reach that far to
begin with.
She chats with her dad a bit about skating, and I listen with one ear. My
finger slides under the edge of her pants, trailing the soft patch of exposed
skin.
Rei glares at me, but her body reacts to my touch, skin pebbling as my
thumb swipes over her ankle in slow circles.
“I have an exam on Wednesday morning, but I should be good to drive
down as soon as I’m done. I was even thinking of…” The words die on her
lips, her brows furrowing. “Oh.” It’s just one syllable, but I can hear her
disappointment. “No, that’s okay.” A pause, then she pulls her legs off the
chair to sit straight and I don’t bother to stop her. “I get it, seriously. This is
a big deal and you should do it. I know how important…” Another pause.
“Christmas? You promise? Okay, I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.”
Rei sighs, hangs up and places the phone on the table.
“What was that all about?” I ask softly.
Her head snaps up, like she completely forgot I’m here.
“My dad.” Rei grabs her bookmark and places it back in the book. “We
were supposed to see each other for Thanksgiving. We always visit his
sister, but he has to travel. He’s been working so hard to get this contract
and they want to meet him the day before Thanksgiving.”
“Can’t he meet you at your aunt’s after the meeting?”
Rei chuckles. “The meeting is in Japan.”
“Oh.” Of course it is. “So what are you going to do?”
She shrugs and picks her backpack up off the floor to slide her book
back inside. “See if Grace or Jade can take me in? Or I guess I could always
go to Alexei’s, not sure if he’ll travel to see his family.”
Fuck to the no.
There’s no way I want her to spend Thanksgiving break, all five days,
with her asshole of a coach.
“Or you could come with me.”
The words are out before I have time to think about them. Rei looks at
me, her bag completely forgotten.
“What?”
I clear my throat before repeating the words, this time slower. “You
could come with me.”
“Where?”
“To my place.”
“To meet your family?”
“Basically.” And here comes the weird part. “It’s going to be just
Hayden and Callie, Hayden’s grandma and uncle Kevin.”
“Oh.”
“They’re my family.” I gulp down, my mouth suddenly feeling too dry.
We never talked about my family. I never talk about my blood family,
period. Not with anybody. “Hayden’s grandmother took me in when I was
in high school when I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” I let the words sink
in before offering her an out. “But if you’d rather go with the girls, I’m su
—”
“I want to come with you.” She places her hand over mine to stop me
from finishing. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Sorry I’m late,” I say as I find the guys already working out in one corner
of the gym.
“Not cool, West. First you ask us to drag our asses to the gym, and then
you show up late?” Nixon shakes his head. “Not cool, man.”
“Don’t be an ass, Nix. The conversation with Snow ran longer than
expected.” I was working with her—well, technically, I was working and
she was observing since she had some injured athletes come to the gym
today, and once we were done, she wanted to talk about the essay. She
seemed happy with my progress, so there was that.
I turn to Hayden, who’s keeping a steady pace on the treadmill. “Hey,
did you try calling Grams?”
I want to talk to her and let her know she can expect another person to
join us for Thanksgiving. Not that she’ll mind either way. Grams loves
company.
“Not recently, but I think Callie talked to her the other day. I swear she’s
more excited about talking to my girlfriend then me.”
“Who can blame her? Callie’s the pretty one in your relationship.”
A towel flies and smacks Emmett in the back of the head.
“You checking my girl out, Santiago?”
Emmett smirks, pushing the bar over his head at a steady pace. “Yeah,
right. Like I need to check out your girl when I’ve got mine waiting for me
at home.”
“How is that going?” I ask, hopping on another treadmill to warm up.
After three years, Emmett finally convinced his girlfriend to move in
together. They actually live in an apartment complex not too far from our
place.
“Freaking amazing.” Emmett grins. “Kate worried it would be weird
with her sister and all. She was determined to set a good example for her,
but if two people who love each other isn’t a good example, then what the
fuck is, you know?”
“Kate has a sister?” Prescott asks from his spot on the mat.
This was the first time I heard it too. Then again, Emmett and Kate are a
world of their own.
“Yeah, Penny just started college this year part time. She wanted to give
herself time to adjust before switching to full time next year. It shouldn’t
mess up her graduation too much since she got quite a few college credits in
high school, you know?” Emmett shakes his head, a big smile on his face.
“That girl is wicked smart.”
“I’m still stuck on the fact that Kate has a sister.”
Emmett’s eyes narrow. “Kate is really protective of her, so back the fuck
off, Wentworth.”
By the sound of it, Kate isn’t the only one who’s protective of her little
sister. Not that it’s really surprising. Emmett’s so in love with Kate it’s
nauseating at times.
“No way, dude.” Prescott’s eyes bug out. “I’m not touching anybody’s
little sister with a ten-foot pole. Don’t need that shit in my life.”
Nixon slaps him over the head. “Every woman is somebody’s daughter
or little sister, Prescott.”
“As long as she’s not the daughter or sister of somebody on the team, I
don’t care.” Prescott glares at him, rubbing the back of his neck. “Not that
you’d know anything about it, would you?”
“Hey, I didn’t know Yasmin was the coach’s daughter before we got
together!”
“Like that would have stopped you.” Hayden rolls his eyes.
“Ma—” Nixon pretends to think about it, but quickly shakes his head.
“Yeah, not really.”
The guys burst into laughter.
“Are you ladies done with chatting or should we open a tea shop?” I
grumble, slowing down the treadmill.
Nixon and Prescott exchange a look. “And the tyrant is back.”
“Get your asses to work.”
For the next hour we concentrate on working out. Although we each
have a different regimen to follow, we stick together through most of it,
talking shit between groans and pants.
 No matter how much they like to bitch that I’m a tyrant when it comes
to working out, they always come to me when they need help with
something since I’ve been studying sports medicine and volunteering in the
clinic with Dr. Snow as my mentor.
Prescott’s knee has been bothering him again, so I help him adjust his
workout, concentrating on exercises to strengthen his quads and hamstrings,
followed by an intense stretching session.
“I’m done,” Nixon groans, falling back on the mat. “No more.”
“Dude, you’re turning into a real pussy. Seriously, if you keep at it,
nobody will take you on their team once you decide to go pro.”
“I still got one year to take it slow.” He throws a pointed look at Hayden
who’s still going strong, his muscles shaking as he lowers into a lunge, his
white knuckles gripping the bar on his shoulder. “Not everybody can say
that.”
“Fuck. Off,” Hayden grits as he straightens and then repeats the motion
with the other leg. He does two more reps before lowering the bar and
calling it quits.
I throw him a towel to wipe the sweat off his face.
Nobody was surprised when he said he’d enter the draft a year early.
He’s been working his ass off these last few years, especially since coming
to college. Besides, after the Ravens won the national championship last
year, it was the most logical choice. With all eyes pointed at the Ravens this
year to see if they manage to make history repeat itself, Hayden and the rest
of the juniors and seniors on the team will get their shot to show what
they’re made of and secure a spot on one of the best pro teams out there.
“I’m just saying, it’ll be a good trial run for the rest of us that are
holding on until next year.” Prescott nudges Nixon, wiggling his brows.
“What about you, Emmett? You thinking of entering the draft too?”
“Nah, man.” He jumps off the stationary bike, wiping his face with a
towel. “I love the game, but I don’t see myself going pro. Never have. What
I’m planning to do is get my girl home and marry the shit out of her.” He
pats his stomach. “Is anybody hungry? I’m starving. How about we go to
Moore’s and get something to eat?”
“I still can’t believe you proposed. Freaking proposed! You’re just
twenty-one.”
Emmett’s booming laugh has a few heads turning in our direction.
“Why is that so hard to believe? People marry younger and with way more
stupid reasons for the decision.”
“But you’re only twenty-one.” Prescott shakes his head. “Like, have you
ever been with somebody else?”
Emmett shakes his head no. “Never have, never will be.”
“You were never tempted?”
“Not everybody is a manwhore like you, Wentworth.”
“Like you’re one to talk, Nix. I remember you were right there next to
me before settling down.” Prescott turns his attention to Emmett, who’s
checking his phone. “Seriously, never?”
“Not even a little. Kate is my once in a lifetime. Besides, I’d have
married her when we were eighteen if she’d have had me.” He shrugs, like
it’s the most reasonable thing in the world. For him, I guess it is. “But I
knew she’d be scared shitless if I suggested it, so I decided to give her a bit
more time before sealing that shit for life.”
“That’s insane.”
Nixon claps Prescott on the shoulder. “Dude, when you know, you just
know.”
“Not you too, Nix. Seriously, what the hell is this shit? Is there some
kind of love virus that’s going around this campus? Santiago’s talking about
marriage like its nothing. You and Hayden barely get out because you’re
spending all your time with your girlfriends. Who’s next, Zane?”
“Oh, Zane already has a girl, all right.”
We all turn around at the sound of a new voice.
Prescott turns his accusatory glare at me. “Are you shitting me? You
too?”
“Thanks so much, Spencer.”
“Seriously, you too?”
I just shrug, not interested in talking about it. What happens between
Rei and me is our business, nobody else’s.
If she doesn’t change her mind, a voice at the back of my mind reminds
me.
“What is this shit?” Prescott takes us all in. “Who’s next?”
“Hey, I’m still single,” Spencer volunteers just as Hayden slaps Prescott
on the shoulder.
“You might be.”
“Hell to the no.” Prescott shakes his head. “Not happening, like ever.”
 Nixon laughs. “You say that now, but you just wait. Once the right girl
shows up, you won’t even care that you’re pussy-whipped.”
“I’d rather keep entertaining all the groupies.” Prescott says, tipping his
chin in the direction of two girls who’ve been working on their glutes for
the past thirty minutes not too far from our group. “With you two off the
market, somebody has to console them.”
Nixon looks disinterestedly at the girls before returning his attention to
Prescott. “You seem pretty heartbroken about it.”
“Well, somebody’s gotta do the hard work around here. Right,
Spencer?”
He checks out the girls. “Totally, dude.”
Emmett shoves his phone back in his pocket. “Are we finally going to
eat, or are you just going to stand here for the rest of the day? Contrary to
you assholes, I have a girl waiting for me at home.”
“I could eat,” Nixon agrees, and more agreements come through the
group.
“Great, now hustle. Time’s a wastin’.”
Hayden punches him in the arm. “I love it when you go all Texan on us,
big guy.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Take the turn here,” Zane says, pointing at the street at the end of the road.
I turn on the blinker, checking the rearview mirrors before doing as he
says. His warm hand is placed on my thigh, like it has been for the duration
of the ride to his grandmother’s. I suggested he drive, but he wouldn’t hear
of it, instead opting to sit beside me, with Hayden and Callie in the
backseat.
It just made more sense to take one car since we were all traveling on
the same day, and Hayden’s car is too small to fit all of us.
The guys have to get back by Friday, which works for me too. Back
home, I have a rink dad built me in our backyard. It’s not as big as the one
in arena, but it’s just big enough for me to practice on. There’ll be no
practicing for me the next couple of days while we’re here.
A part of me loves the idea of a little free time, the other part is already
going over all the ways I’ll be able to catch up on missed hours in the rink
once I get back to Blairwood, but I push that voice to the back of my mind.
It’s not as hard as I expected it would be.
A small cottage-style house comes into view in front of us. It’s painted
yellow, with a red front door and windows, and a little porch out front.
“Home sweet home,” Hayden says from the backseat. I look up and see
the reflection of him and Callie sitting cuddled together in the middle,
Hayden’s hand wrapped over Callie’s shoulder. He hasn’t let go of her since
the moment they sat down.
I park in front of the house and unbuckle my seatbelt, my hands clammy
with nerves.
To say I was surprised when Zane invited me to stay with him would be
an understatement. He doesn’t talk about his family at all, and I never
wanted to pry, figuring he’d tell me when he’s ready. But this isn’t any
family. This is the family who took Zane in. His chosen family.
The door opens and everybody gets out, so I follow suit.
“A friendly word of advice?” Callie whispers softly, so only I can hear
her. “Don’t even try to resist it.”
“What…”
Callie walks past me. I turn around, following her with my gaze,
completely confused by her words. Don’t try to resist it? Resist what?
 My heart starts to beat wildly as the panic sets in. A vice grip squeezes
my stomach and for a moment I wonder if I might actually throw up. I
never throw up. Not the first time I stood in the middle of the ice ready to
skate for the audience. Not before I attempted my first triple Axel in a
competition, not when I was waiting my turn as a senior skater at the World
Championships. That’s just not who I am.
But then again, skating has been in my blood since before I was born,
this has not.
When I look up, I see Zane and Hayden standing on the front porch with
a pink-haired woman. Hayden picks her up and hugs her, then puts the old
lady down on the ground, only for Zane to pick her up in his arms and lift
her for another hug.
“You boys are smothering me!” She slaps each of them playfully on the
shoulder once Zane puts her down before turning to Callie with arms wide
open. “Callie, my dear. It’s so good to see you.” She wraps her in her arms
for a tight hug.
“Hey, Grams. How have you been?”
“Good, good.” The woman pats her on the shoulder affectionately. “It’s
always better when I know you’re coming to see me.”
Grams pulls back, her eyes finally finding mine. “And who do we have
here?”
She’s short and plump, with a head full of fluffy cotton candy pink hair.
Her sharp green eyes don’t miss a thing when she observes me silently.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I climb the three steps and stand on
the porch. “I’m Rei, thanks so much for letting me crash your
Thanksgiving.”
“Nonsense.” She waves me off, and I don’t even get to extend my hand
before she pulls me in for a hug, patting my back. “It’s so nice to meet you,
honey. This house needs more females in it.”
A hand touches my back, and when I look around, I find Zane standing
behind me.
“Now who’s the one doing the smothering?”
“Oh, pish. I’m just being a good host. There’s a difference between the
two, young man, and you should know it.” Then more gently she adds, “I
knew you’d pick a good one.”
“Grams,” Zane groans, making us all laugh.
“What? I’m just calling it like I see it.”
 Zane pulls me into his side, and when I look up at him, I find his eyes
on me. “She’s amazing.”
I nibble at my lip as a warm feeling spreads through my belly.
“C’mon, let’s get you all inside.” Grams goes toward the door, opening
it wide for us.
“Did you bake those cookies of yours?” Hayden asks.
Grams huffs and rolls her eyes. “Who do you take me for, young man?”

“You brought me to a rink.” I look at the building that’s in front of us,

shaking my head before turning to Zane. “You brought me to a freaking
rink.”
After a late lunch and chatting with Grams—because that’s apparently
what everybody calls her—Zane told me to change and meet him
downstairs. Nobody seemed surprised, so I went along with it, not
suspecting a thing.
“I know how much you love your practice.”
“But I don’t have my skates.”
I didn’t bring them since I knew I wouldn’t be able to practice while
we’re here. It just made no sense to leave them in my trunk to take up
space.
Zane flashes me a smile. “Wrong.”
“What? How?”
He can’t be serious, can he? I know I pulled them out earlier when I got
back to the dorm after my midterm.
Zane walks around and pops open my trunk.
“I saw they weren’t in your trunk when we were putting our stuff inside,
so while you and Callie went to get coffee, I ran inside to grab the duffle
from your room.”
Zane pulls out my bag to show it to me.
I jump in the air, wrapping my arms around Zane’s neck. “Thank you
for doing this, I don’t know how you did it but… Thank you.”
I pull back, lifting on the tips of my toes to kiss him hard on the mouth.
Zane groans, pulling me closer with his free hand. I grip the base of his
neck, my fingers sliding into his soft hair as his tongue enters my mouth
and tangles with mine, turning the quick peck I had in my mind into a full-
on make-out session.
Breaking the kiss, I cup his cheek, loving the smooth feel of his skin
under my fingertips. “Do you know how amazing you are?”
He scratches the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. “I just called
my old coach, asked if we could crash.”
“Zane—”
“It’s nothing, really.” He places me gently on the ground and takes my
hand in his. “C’mon, let’s go inside. We only have an hour. I figured you
might show me some of those fancy moves of yours for my essay.”
“Sure, that’s perfect.”
He’s perfect.
And I think I’m more than halfway to being head over heels in love
with this man.

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“When you asked me if you could use the rink, I figured it was for you. I
guess I was wrong.”
I turn around at the familiar rough voice. Jumping to my feet from the
bleachers, I extend my hand. “Coach, it’s good seeing you.”
“Good to see you too, son.”
He shakes my hand, his other hand patting me on the shoulder. His grip
is as firm as it was when he took me on his team, when I barely knew how
to hold the stick or lace my skates.
“Thanks for letting us crash.”
“It’s not a problem.”
He turns toward the ice, and for a while we just watch Rei practice. She
performed her long program routine that she’s been practicing for the
Nationals in January, and now she’s switched back to working on jumps and
jump combinations from the program.
“She’s good,” Coach says finally, breaking the familiar quiet.
Elijah Brown is the most patient, level-headed person I know. While
some coaches are prone to screaming and yelling, Coach has always been
calm and collected, lending our team of misfits with his cool demeanor and
quiet strength. If he spoke, you listened. If he asked, you delivered. Not
because it was easy. Most often, it was quite the contrary, but you never
wanted to be the one to disappoint the man who believed you could do
something that at first seemed impossible. He was a role model most of us
didn’t have at home, an example of what you can achieve even if you’re a
black boy from Ashton Heights.
I shake my head. “She’s magnificent.”
And the longer I look at her, the more obvious it becomes. Rei radiates
when she’s on the ice. There’s this energy around her that’s unlike anything
I’ve ever seen before.
“A friend of yours?”
From the corner of my eye, I can see him fighting to keep the smile off
his face. I shake my head, smug bastard. “My girl.”
Just then Rei lands her quad toe loop, triple toe loop combo. I whistle
loudly, a smile spreading over my lips. “That was awesome, Pix.”
 She looks up, a smile on her lips as she does a little curtsy. Her eyes
grow wide when she sees my coach.
Smoothing her hair back, she skates toward us, and I hand her her skate
guards as she gets off the ice.
“You must be Zane’s coach.”
Coach looks between the two of us in amusement. “And you’re his
girlfriend, if I hear correctly.”
Rei blushes, as she always does. She smiles at me before turning to
Coach, extending her hand. “Yes, I’m Rei. Thanks so much for letting me
use the rink, it really means a lot.”
“The pleasure was all mine, young lady. We don’t get many figure
skaters around here.”
Rei’s gaze darts toward me. “But you have some pretty amazing hockey
players.”
“Coach works with both boys’ and girls’ teams.”
“Really? How do you deal with all of them at the same time?”
Coach chuckles. “Sometimes I wonder too.”
“C’mon,” I protest. “We weren’t that bad.”
The glimmer of amusement shines in his eyes. “No, you were worse.”
At that, Rei starts laughing too, and he winks at her playfully.
We talk for a little while longer about Rei’s skating and my hockey
before Coach excuses himself.
“Gotta finish some things in the office and get back home.” He gives me
a pat on my shoulder. “Don’t be a stranger, Zane.”
“No way. Thanks for letting us do this, Coach.”
“Don’t sweat it. The pleasure was mine.” He turns to Rei. “Looking
good out there, young lady. Good luck on your competition.”
“Thank you, it was so nice meeting you.”
With one last nod, Coach leaves for his office. Rei comes to me,
wrapping her arm around my waist. “He seems nice.”
“He was like a father to me. Taught me all I knew about hockey.”
“How old were you when you started playing?”
“Sixteen.”
Rei turns around and gapes at me. “Sixteen? And you got to play in
college?”
“What can I say? He’s a damn good coach, and I was one stubborn
student when I wanted to be.”
 Rei shakes her head, her big eyes looking at me in wonder. “What you
are is amazing, Zane West.”
I rub the back of my neck, uncomfortable. “I don’t know about that.”
As if she can feel it, she brushes her hand over my cheek. “Well, I do.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Are you sure Grams doesn’t need help?” I ask Callie.
She’s sitting on the couch next to me, her legs pulled underneath her, a
cup of coffee in her hand.
“Nah, I always offer, but she likes to cook too much. She’s obsessed
with feeding, well, everybody.” Callie chuckles and peeks toward the
kitchen, lowering her voice. “I think she just misses the guys. We’ll help
with cleaning later on.”
“She raised them?” I try to sound nonchalant, and not as if I’m snooping
for information, which is basically what I’m doing.
“Yes, and no.” Callie looks back to the kitchen, before scooting closer to
me. “They both moved in with her around the same time, when they were
sixteen.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, she took Zane in a little before Hayden came. I don’t really
know the full story about that, but he’s been living here ever since. Zane
and Hayden might have different parents and skin colors, but they’re
brothers in every way that matters.”
As if she called them, the back door opens and the guys enter, laughing
about something. Observing them like this, I can see exactly what Callie
meant when she said they were brothers in every way that mattered. Up
until this point, I usually saw Zane with his teammates at Blairwood, but
with Hayden he is different somehow. More relaxed. Free.
“Did you guys have fun?” Callie asks, smiling at them.
Hayden toes off his running shoes before coming toward us and placing
an upside-down kiss on Callie’s mouth. “Beat his ass. That’s always fun.”
“You didn’t beat my ass. What you did was freaking cheat, and even
with that you barely managed to outrun me, which speaks volumes since it’s
your job to run.”
Hayden points his finger at Zane. “Don’t forget about catching the ball.”
“You and your balls.” Callie rolls her eyes and pushes him away. “Go
and take a shower, you stink.”
Hayden doesn’t budge, instead nuzzling his face in the crook of her
neck. “How about you come and take a shower with me?”
“Hayden, stop,” Callie giggles, pushing him away.
 “Hayden, leave the girl alone and go take a shower. You too, Zane. I
expect you down in fifteen minutes to set the table,” Grams calls from the
kitchen, not even bothering to lift her gaze from whatever she’s doing.
“We could help,” I offer. It feels so weird just to sit here and do nothing.
If my obāchan saw me, she would be so disappointed.
“Don’t you worry about a thing, the boys will do it.”
“You hear that, Zane?” Hayden calls out. “That’s what it’s come to,
servants in our own house.”
“Servants?” Grams comes to the doorway, her hand propped against her
hip, a spatula in her other hand. “I think I taught you better than that, young
man. We have guests.”
“Guests? More like a guest. It’s been a year since Cals came here for the
first time. I hardly think she counts as a guest any longer.”
“Hey,” Callie yells, slapping Hayden over the head.
“What was that for?” Hayden protests, rubbing the back of his head.
“What am I? An unwanted guest?”
“You’re family.” Hayden cups her cheeks and kisses her square on the
mouth, not caring one bit that everybody’s watching. “I’m going up to take
a shower.”
Callie sighs happily, falling back down on the couch, a silly smile on
her face.
I wonder if I look like that when Zane kisses me.
Probably.
Okay, most likely.
When I lift my gaze, I find Zane watching me intently. I can feel
prickles of awareness going down my neck, making the baby hairs on the
nape of my neck rise.
“I think I’m going to take a shower too,” Zane finally says, his voice
rough.
I nod.
“I think that’s a great idea. A cold one.”
“Fuck off, Callie.”
“Make me.”
Zane rolls his eyes as he leaves the room.
Callie fans herself. “Did somebody turn on the heat or what?”
I chuckle. “Like you’re one to talk.”
OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Grams is smitten.”
I look up from the TV and find Grams talking to Rei and Callie in the
kitchen. I was surprised she even let them come so close, but I guess they
finally wore her down.
Although I tried to reassure her that this is Grams’s thing and that she
loves cooking for people, Rei didn’t like the idea of her doing all the work
and I kind of liked her even more for that.
“She’s happy to have a full house.”
Although it was definitely my selfishness, and okay, jealousy too, that
had me asking Rei to come in the first place, I’m now glad I did it. I love
seeing her in the rink, but I love seeing her be herself even more.
“That too.”
The girls come into the living room, each carrying a dish in their hands.
“You could have helped too, you know,” Grams says, a platter with
roasted turkey in her hands.
I jump to my feet and go to take it from her. “You should have said
something.”
Grams harrumphs. “I’m not as frail as I look.”
“You? Frail?” Hayden gets up and joins her in the kitchen. “In what
world would anybody think that?”
Grams slaps him over the head. “Don’t be sassy with me, Hayden.”
“You’ve got the wrong guy.”
Hayden helps Grams carry the rest of the food while I get the drinks,
before we all take our seats at the table.
As always, she’s prepared enough food to feed an army: roasted turkey,
mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and of course, her famous
pumpkin pie, just to name a few. We place it all on the table Hayden and I
set earlier until there’s no room left.
“Let’s pray first.” Grams extends her hands toward me and Hayden,
who each take one side.
“Aren’t we waiting for Kevin?” I ask, taking Rei’s hand in mine.
Hayden looks toward the opposite side of the table. “Right, where is
Kevin? Shouldn’t he be here by now?”
 Something passes over Grams’s face before she shakes her head. “He’s
otherwise occupied.”
Otherwise occupied? On Thanksgiving?
Before anybody can question it, Grams bows her head and starts
praying. I exchange a look with Hayden across the table. He looks almost as
surprised as I am, but shrugs.
The last time I saw Kevin was a few weeks ago, and he said nothing at
all. Then again, he isn’t one to talk much. In all the times I’ve been at
Grams’s he’s never been a fixture. Sometimes he’s here, but most often he’s
doing his own thing, only visiting his mother a few times a year, mostly for
holidays. I never understood it, Grams is the nicest person I know. How
could her own son not realize that?
Then again, maybe I’m biased.
“Amen,” Grams finishes, snapping me out of my own thoughts. “Dive
in, kids. I want to see all these plates cleared.”
“Well, I don’t know about cleared, but everything looks delicious.” Rei
picks up a small piece of turkey and puts it on her plate.
“Oh, please.” Grams waves her off. “This is nothing. There are two
more pies in the kitchen. Have you seen these boys eat? I swear, between
the two, they could eat a horse.”
“Hey, now,” Hayden protests, putting three slices of turkey on his
already overflowing plate. “I’m pretty sure I could eat a horse all by
myself.”
I lean down so I can whisper in Rei’s ear. “You realize that won’t work,
right?”
“What won’t?”
I tilt my chin toward her plate. “That.”
“Shh…” She looks at Grams, who’s concentrating on Hayden and
Callie, who’re bickering about something. “She’s not looking.”
“She sees everything.”
“Zane’s right, you know,” Grams interjects, confirming my statement.
“You’re like a little bird, you need to eat more.”
“Well, this little bird needs to fly.”
“You’re a skater like Zane, right?”
Rei and I exchange a look, grinning at the comparison. “Yeah,
something like that.”
 We continue chatting throughout dinner. Grams interrogates us all about
college and our classes. That woman is relentless about education. She
herself only finished high school and has been preaching about us getting a
higher education and getting a better life since the day we stepped foot into
her house.
Just when we’re cutting into the pie, the front door opens, followed by
heavy footsteps coming down the hallway, and Kevin appears in the
doorway.
He blinks, his eyes narrowing at the table and half-empty plates.
“You’ve already started.”
“Hello to you too, Kevin,” Grams says coolly. She takes Kevin in before
returning her attention to the pie in front of her, digging the knife in harder
than necessary. “Of course we started. You’re forty minutes late.”
Kevin looks around the room, like he’s seeing it for the very first time,
his gaze switching from Callie to Rei and back to Grams. “I didn’t realize
we’d have company.”
“Should that be an apology?” Grams places the piece of pie on the plate
and hands it to Rei before taking a towel to wipe her hands. “Because it
doesn’t sound like one.”
Grams crosses her arms over her chest, and they just stare at each other
for a while, an uncomfortable silence spreading through the room.
What the hell is going on here?
As long as I’ve known them, Grams and Kevin have never had a warm
relationship, but they’ve never been so openly hostile to one another either.
“What do you want me to say?” Kevin grits through clenched teeth. He
sways on his feet and has to reach for the doorframe to steady himself.
I narrow my eyes at him. What the hell… And then it hits me. He’s
drunk.
And not just tipsy, but can-barely-stand-on-his-own-two-feet drunk.
“What I want is for you to start taking things seriously. What I want is
that you go home and sleep this off. And then, if you feel like it, we can
talk.”
Hayden and I exchange a look across the table.
“C’mon, Kevin.” Hayden gets up and goes to his uncle. “Let’s get you
home. Did you drive here?”
“No, Bill drove me from the bar.”
 I turn to Rei, who’s watching all this silently. I hate even asking this of
her, but there’s just no other way. “Do you mind if we take your car? Grams
doesn’t have one…”
“Of course.” She grabs my hand and gives it a hard squeeze. “Let me
just go grab my keys.”

“What the hell was that?” Hayden asks as he shuts the car door behind him,
turning off the light in the cabin in the process.
I tilt my head back, letting it hit the leather headrest behind me. “The
hell if I know.”
“Did you notice something’s going on between them? They’re hardly
cozy, but…”
“Not really, but I just go to the garage to do my job, and when I’m there
Kevin usually stays in his office or works on something.”
At the beginning, just after I moved in with Grams, I thought he had
something against me. But then Hayden came, and I realized it’s not me, it’s
just the way he is with people.
“It’s just all so weird.”
“You think?” I shake my head. “What the hell, let’s just go home.”
I turn on the car, pulling out onto an empty road. Hayden plays with the
stereo as I carefully navigate the streets back home.
“This is one sweet ride.” Hayden slides his hand over the leather seat.
“Maybe I should get one of these when I go pro.”
“First you have to get drafted,” I mutter. “And can you stop fidgeting?”
“I’m not fidgeting, I’m enjoying my ride. What’s gotten up your ass?”
My fingers clench around the steering wheel. “Nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing.”
“I just want to get back home, that’s all.” I sigh. “Can you drop it?”
I can feel Hayden’s gaze on the side of my face, but I refuse to engage.
He already sees right through me as it is.
“Have you told her yet?” I ask him.
“Not yet.”
“You have to do it.”
“I know, and I will. I just figured I’ll prolong it for a little while longer.”
 “How long? Until she by accident turns on the TV during the draft?”
“I’ll tell her. Geez.” Hayden runs his fingers through his hair. “If you
didn’t want to talk about your aversion to borrowing expensive things from
people, you could have just said so.”
“I don’t have an aversion to borrowing shit.”
“Yeah, right, and I’m freaking Tom Brady.”
“I think you’re talking about Jerry Rice.”
“Whatever, dude.”
For the rest of the ride, neither of us says anything.
I pull up in front of the house, turning off the engine, and we both get
out and go into the house. The first floor is dark, the only light coming from
the living room along with a soft buzz of TV. When we get there, we find
Grams sitting in the recliner.
She turns her head toward us. “Did you get him in bed?”
Grams looks worn out, and… old.
I never imagined I’d use that word to describe Grams, but watching her
now, that’s exactly the way I see her. The lines around her eyes are harsher,
her skin more wrinkled, her green eyes watery and tired. To me she’s
always been bigger than life, but looking at her now, I’m faced with the
reality that she’s a seventy-eight-year-old woman.
“We did; put him on his side too, but if he didn’t throw up before now, I
don’t think he will.”
Grams’s eyes narrow at Hayden. “I won’t ask how you know that.”
Hayden chuckles. “You better not.” He looks around. “Where’re the
girls?”
“Outside, they wanted to light the fire pit.”
The couch squeaks as she gets to her feet. Last year we wanted to buy
her a new one, but she protested she’ll set it on fire if we do it. She loves
that old thing, squeaky springs and all.
“Bring them blankets, it’s cold outside. I’m going to bed.” She looks at
us, eyes narrowed. She points two fingers at her eyes and then ours. “And
no funny business.”
“Don’t worry, Grams.”
Her face turns serious. “I always worry when it comes to my boys.” She
forces out a smile. “Goodnight.”
We say our goodnights, both of us watching her slowly move out of the
room.
 “The whole thing with Kevin hit her hard.”
“Yeah, it did.”
Not knowing what else to say, I pick up two quilts from the couch and
hand one to Hayden. We move through the dimly lit room toward the back
door.
Rei tilts her head back at the sound of the door opening, a smile forming
on her face although her teeth are chattering from the cold. “You’re back.”
“Just got here.” I open the blanket. “Scoot over.”
Rei does as instructed, lifting her butt off the chair. I wrap the blanket
over my shoulder and sit down, pulling her into my lap and wrapping her in
my arms.
“You’re cold,” I whisper, brushing my lips against her icy cheek.
“It’s a nice night.”
“It is,” I agree.
The fire is burning brightly in the pit, casting a little warmth around it.
The moon is full, a few stars peeking through the dark clouds.
“It smells like snow.”
“You think?”
I shrug. “Last year it snowed. I think these two would like it.”
Hayden descends the stairs and goes straight for Callie, picking her up
in the air and twirling her around. The light wind carries their soft laughter
our way.
“They’re so in love,” Rei comments, laying her head on my chest.
Callie must protest because Hayden puts her down on the ground. They
walk through the yard, their gloved hands linked together.
“Yeah. They are.”
Even a blind person could see it. A part of me was skeptical at the
beginning, given their past together, but the more I’ve gotten to see them
together, the more I can see how crazy they are about one another.
“I was worried for him.”
Rei tilts her head back. “Why?”
“They knew each other from before.”
“Before?”
“From before Hayden moved here. Callie was part of the reason he had
to move, but he never actually got over her.”
“You were worried about him?” Rei traces the side of my face, with the
tips of her fingers running over the faint scar running just next to my
eyebrow.
“He’s family.”
“How did you get this?”
Her finger goes up and down the scar, and the memory flashes in my
mind.
Pissing one of mom’s boyfriends off.
The bottle flying at me.
And while I was quick enough to dodge it, one of the shattered pieces
hit me on the side of my head. It took five stitches, not that I actually got to
the ER. One of the neighbors in my building was a nurse practitioner, and
she patched me up.
I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. Her familiar sweet scent
reaches my nostrils and I inhale deeply, letting it overshadow the memories
of my past.
“Just an accident.”
“It’s snowing!” Callie squeals.
We look up and see her twirling around the yard.
I shake my head. “They’re so corny.”
“What?” Rei turns around in my arms so she’s straddling my lap. “You
don’t like dancing in the snow?”
I tighten my arms around her, nuzzling my nose in the crook of her
neck. “I’d rather hold you in my arms in front of the fireplace.”
Her skin prickles under my warm breath. Rei giggles and pushes me
away. “Where did the big tough hockey player disappear to? Not so brave
without all that stuffing, are you?”
“I’ll give you stuffing.”
Before she can make a move, I latch my mouth onto her neck, blowing
raspberries.
“Zane!” Rei squirms in my arms, trying to push me away, but I don’t
budge.
“What were you saying?”
“That you’re an amazing hockey player?”
“Damn right, I am.”
A smile spreads over my lips. I slide my hand to the back of her neck,
pulling her closer.
The kiss is slow. Just a gentle brush of my mouth over hers. Rei wraps
her arms around my shoulders, brushing her tongue over my lower lip.
 I groan at the tender touch. Her tongue dips inside, and she meets me
there, swiping and swirling together.
Rei shifts on my lap. My dick comes to life as I feel her warm center
rub against me.
“You’re killing me,” I whisper, my voice rough from all the sexual
tension. “Sleep with me tonight?”
“And piss off Grams? I think not.”
“You’re no fun, Pix.”
“Well, if I’m no fun…”
Rei starts to get up, but I stop her instantly. “I didn’t say you can leave.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Where are you?” Jade asks as soon as I answer the phone.
“Hello to you too,” I chuckle, tucking my scarf closer to my neck. “I’m
just exiting the rink. Why?”
“Well, you better hurry and get your ass to the dorm.”
“What’s the rush?”
“It’s girls’ night.” There’s a slight pause. “Please don’t tell me you
forgot.”
“Of course not,” I lie quickly.
I totally forgot.
Life has been hectic since Thanksgiving. Classes are slowly wrapping
up, with finals just around the corner. And soon it’ll be Christmas and
then… Nationals. Just thinking about it has a rush of excitement going
through my body.
Jade groans. “You totally did.”
“Maybe?” God, I feel so bad! She’s been trying to get us all to go out
together for weeks. How could I have forgotten? “Tell you what, I’ll be
there in a flash, I promise.”
“You better,” Jade grumbles. I can totally imagine her pouting on the
other end of the line.
We hang up and I hurry across campus, taking a shortcut toward the
dorm. Snow has been falling almost every day since we got back to
Blairwood, coloring the whole campus in white. It actually looks really
pretty, like a winter wonderland. Something you’d see in a movie or on a
postcard.
I take two steps at a time as I climb to the fourth floor. Since it’s Friday
evening, the hallways are buzzing with activity as people get ready for
different parties. When you go to a school up north you either have to
already have thick skin, or grow one really fast if you want to keep up with
everything. Thankfully, I’m used to the cold.
“I’m here, I’m here,” I say as I push the door open and enter the room,
already taking off my jacket and scarf.
“Finally!” Jade pokes her head out from her room, glaring at me with
her half-done makeup. “I still can’t believe you forgot!”
“It just slipped my mind.”
 “Jade’s been looking forward to this for weeks.” Grace exits the
bathroom, wrapped in a fluffy robe and her hair pulled back in a towel.
“Of course I was. Do you know how hard it’s to get everybody to go
out, huh? Chloe and I had to make a freaking schedule.”
“Well, I’m here and we’ll be out in no time.” I start toward my room to
grab something to wear. “Who’s all going, anyway?”
“Yasmin, Callie and Chloe. Their friends Alyssa and Kate should be
coming too. Plus the three of us. No boys allowed.”
I grab a pair of jeans, a silky shirt and some underwear.
“Nope, that won’t do.” Jade shakes her head as soon as she sees me. She
comes to me and grabs my clothes out of my hand. Placing her hand on my
shoulder, she turns me toward the bathroom and gives me a small push.
“You take a shower, and I’ll pick something for you to wear.”
I look over my shoulder at her and narrow my eyes at her. “Why don’t I
like the sound of this?”
“No idea, because my style is impeccable.”

“Did you really have to pick the shortest dress in my closet?” I ask Jade,
tugging the hem of the dress lower as I slide out of the Uber. Not that it
actually helps, since there isn’t much material to cover further than the
curve of my ass. Has this dress always been so short, or did my ass
suddenly get bigger?
“Why do you have it then?”
“I don’t remember it being this short!”
“It’s perfect, so stop fidgeting.” Jade grabs my hand in hers and loops
our arms together, then does the same for Grace. “Tonight we’re here to
have fun.”
“Don’t we usually have fun?” Grace asks.
“Not like this.”
Jade smiles at the bouncer as we show him our fake IDs. He barely
gives them a passing glance before letting us in. Loud music greets us as
soon as we enter the long, dimly lit hallway. I’m not sure what this place is,
just that we had to take an Uber to get here since it’s outside of university
property.
 Jade checks her phone. “They’re in the booth at the back of the club.”
“Sweet.”
At least I won’t have to stand all night long on five-inch heels in a
cramped room full of drunk people.
We don’t even bother talking as we navigate through the crowd of
people. The music is even louder in the main area, the bass making the
entire space vibrate as different colored lights illuminate the otherwise dark
room.
“There!” Grace yells, pointing in the direction of a booth.
I’m not sure how she spotted it. Not only is it in the back, but it’s also in
a private area. They got us a freaking VIP lounge.
Yasmin notices us and lifts her hand in a wave. The hostess lets us
through and we join the other girls at the booth.
“What took you so long?” The question comes from one of the two girls
I don’t know. She’s dressed in a short black dress with long sleeves and
pink high heels that match the pink strand in her otherwise dark hair.
“That might be my fault,” I admit sheepishly, taking my seat between
Callie and Kate. “I might have forgotten.”
“You’re not the only one.” Callie rubs at her covered arms. “I don’t get
why we had to dress in skimpy clothes to get out of the house when we
could have stayed in and been warm?”
Kate nods her head. “I’m so with you on that one.”
The girl with the pink strand covers her ears.
“What are you doing, Chloe?” Callie asks, laughing.
“I’m not listening.” Chloe pokes her tongue at us. “Nobody needs this
kind of negativity in their lives.”
My phone vibrates, so I pull it out.
Zane: What are you up to?
A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. I haven’t seen Zane the last few
days because the hockey team has been on the road. We talked as much as
our schedules would allow us, which wasn’t that much at all. I miss him,
and I was actually hoping to see him tonight, but apparently not.
Me: Girls’ night.
Me: You back?
His answer is almost instant.
Zane: Pulled up a couple of hours ago.
Zane: And what do you mean, girls’ night? Ditching me for chicks?
 Me: Chicks before dicks, buddy.
Zane: I’ll remember that.
I bite the side of my lip to prevent a chuckle from coming out.
Me: No need to—
Before I manage to finish my sentence, the phone is pulled out of my
hand.
“This is exactly what I’ve been saying.” Jade glares at me. “Girls’ night.
Boys not allowed.”
“Fine, I’ll put it away.” I extend my hand, waiting for her to give it
back.
Jade squints her eyes at me, but hands me back the phone. “I mean it,
Rei. Next time I’ll throw it into the toilet.” She takes in people sitting
around the table. “That goes for all of you.”
“Amen, girl.” Chloe throws her arm over Jade’s shoulder, a bottle of
tequila in her other hand. “Put the phones away, ladies, and let’s grab those
glasses.”
Callie looks at me. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?”
“Because you’ve been a sucky friend, and since you don’t go out any
more, your tolerance is basically zero?” Chloe quirks a brow at Callie.
“We still go to Moore’s.”
“Moore’s is a sports bar, that doesn’t count. The classiest thing you can
get there is an IPA or some shit like that.” A beautiful redhead slides
between Callie and Yasmin. She’s dressed in a stunning emerald dress that
compliments her red hair and kick-ass body perfectly.
“Not everybody is dating a—what was it again?—senator’s son?”
The redhead rolls her eyes. “Chad’s dad is a congressman.”
Yasmin waves her hand. “Basically the same thing, Alyssa.”
“How’s that working out anyway?” Callie asks, leaning forward.
“Good.” Alyssa slides her hand over her thighs, smoothing out her
dress. “Chad is nice, a perfect gentleman.”
“Drinks, girls.” Jade hands us the shot glasses filled with clear liquid.
Alyssa takes one and sniffs it tentatively before putting it back on the
table.
Callie frowns at her. “Since when don’t you drink tequila?”
“My stomach has been acting off.” Alyssa looks around the table until
she spots a bottle of water somebody left there and picks it up, unscrews the
lid and takes a sip.
 “Have you been to a doctor?”
Alyssa waves Yasmin off. “It’s probably just a bug.” Her eyes land on
me. “I’m not sure we’ve met.”
“I’m Rei. I’m rooming with Grace and Jade.”
“She’s also dating Zane,” Jade chimes in, handing me a glass. The edge
of the shot glass is covered in salt, so I grab a slice of lemon off the plate.
“No shit. Zane has a girlfriend?”
“Kind of?” I push a strand of my hair behind my ear, uncomfortable
with all the attention.
Callie elbows me in the ribs. “There’s no kind of. He invited her to join
us for Thanksgiving at Grams’s.”
“Because I had nowhere else to go!” I protest.
Alyssa’s brows shoot up.
“Mm-hmm…” Yasmin licks the edge of her shot glass. “I’ve seen them
stare at each other across the table in Cup It Up. They’re like the cutest
couple ever.”
Callie nods her head. “Seriously, the guy’s crazy about her.”
“Bottoms up, ladies,” Jade calls loudly and a course of cheers spreads
around the table.
I tip the glass back, downing the drink in one go. The tequila burns its
way down my throat. I bite into the lemon, the bitter and sour tastes mixing
on my tongue.
“Damn,” I mutter as soon as I can get some air in my lungs. “That’s
strong.”
“Buckle up, buttercup.” Chloe winks at me as she starts pouring more
drinks. “The night is still young.”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Dude, stop staring at your phone!” Spencer leans across the table as if he’s
going to grab it out of my hand, but I pull it back at the last moment.
“Fuck off, Spence.”
“Seriously, you guys are pathetic.” Prescott says, taking a swig from his
beer. “You four are so pussy-whipped, you barely take your eyes off your
phones, and this one—” he points at Maddox, who’s looking down at his
beer, barely even paying us any attention “—is like a cockroach. If you
don’t threaten him with an exterminator, he barely gets out.”
“Why should I? I can do everything I need from my room.” Maddox
shrugs, his eyes still fixed on the bottle.
“Can you find chicks to fuck in your room?” Spencer cocks his brow at
Maddox.
The dude blushes. Actually blushes.
“Why don’t you leave the poor guy alone?” Emmett intervenes. “If he
wants to stay in his room, he can. I know I’d rather be home with my
girlfriend.”
“Technically,” Maddox pushes his glasses up his nose, his pale cheeks
still red, “I could always call a hooker.”
Prescott chokes on his sip of beer, while everybody else gapes at him,
speechless.
“What? I’m not going to do it. I’m just pointing out I could have a girl
in my room without actually having to leave it first. Although there was that
one time last year when a girl snuck into my room, she thought it was
Nixon’s.”
“Seriously?” Nixon’s brows shoot up. “What did you do?”
“What I want to know is who was she?”
“No idea.” Maddox shrugs once again. “And nothing. We just stared at
one another for a while, and then she got up, dressed and left.”
“She was actually naked?” Prescott asks.
“Well, yeah.”
“And you let her leave?” Spencer raises his hands. “Why?”
“She was there for Nixon.”
“She was there for the dick, dude. You could have tapped that.”
 “I’m pretty sure she was there for Nixon’s dick.” Maddox takes a swig
of his beer. “When she realized she was in the wrong room, she squeaked,
grabbed her clothes and left.”
If it was any other guy this happened to, he wouldn’t dare say a word
about it, but not Maddox. That guy doesn’t care one bit about anything or
anybody. He’s just so lost in his own head, he doesn’t even realize that the
world keeps turning.
Spencer shakes his head. “You need to learn some moves, Maddox.
How else are you going to sweep ladies off their feet?”
Prescott smirks knowingly. “I think there’s only one chick he’s into.”
“Who?”
“Alyssa, who else?”
“Seriously?”
“Will you let it go?” I sigh, done with this conversation.
Emmett lifts his beer in salute. “You assholes are just jealous you don’t
have your own girl waiting for you at home.”
Spencer takes a sip of his beer, hiding his smile. “Technically, they’re
out, having the time of their lives, and you assholes are moping here
without them. So explain to me who’s the crazy one?”
Nixon narrows his eyes at him. “And how do you know that?”
“I just saw it on Alyssa’s Instagram.” Spencer waves his phone in front
of him.
“Give me that.”
Nixon grabs Spencer’s phone and taps a few times. “They’re at that
stupid club again.”
Hayden, who’s sitting next to him, peeks over his shoulder at the screen,
a scowl appearing between his brows at whatever’s happening on the
screen.
“You guys seriously need to chill out.” Emmett chuckles, shaking his
head.
“You’re not worried?” Nixon narrows his eyes at him. “Not even the
tiniest bit?”
“Why would I be?” Emmett shrugs. “I trust Kate.”
Prescott points his beer at Nixon. “What he trusts is that big-ass ring he
put on her finger will do its job and chase away all the assholes. Maybe you
should take a page out of his playbook, huh, Nix?”
 Nixon downs the rest of his drink and bangs it against the table. “I’m
going out to get them.” His eyes scan the table. “Who’s with me?”
Hayden opens his wallet and pulls out a few bills. “I’m down.”
Prescott sits straighter in his chair. “You two can’t be serious?”
“Maddox? Zane?”
I finish my drink and push my chair back. “Let’s go.”
“You too?” Prescott asks when Emmett and Maddox do the same.
“Guess it’s just you and me, bro.”
“Look on the bright side, we get to keep all the chicks to ourselves,”
Spencer replies.
They barely pay us any attention as we say our goodbyes and start
toward the exit.
“Does this feel like déjà vu, or is it just me?”
Nixon gives me the side-eye. “Oh, please, like you don’t want to go
there and grab your girl.”
My girl.
The words taste bittersweet on my tongue. Could it actually come true?
Could this thing going on between us work out? A part of me wants to
believe it, but the other part is still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Zane!” Rei’s face lights up when she sees me. She turns around and starts
toward me, but stumbles. I quicken my step and wrap my arms around her
before she falls face first. She throws her head back, her usually silky hair a
mess on her head. “What are you doing here? This is a girls’ night. You
shouldn’t be h-here.”
A light hiccup makes her stern voice seem like a joke.
“You’re drunk.”
She giggles. “Am n-not.”
“You totally are.” I smooth her hair out of her face. “How much did
they give you to drink?”
“Three shots of tequila.” I look up and find Alyssa watching us. “We
didn’t give her more after that since she was already pretty buzzed.” Alyssa
switches her attention to Maddox and smiles. “What are you doing here?
Did somebody threaten you to get you to come?”
 Maddox pushes his glasses up his nose. “We were already at Moore’s.”
“A bar and a club? All in one night?” Alyssa places her hand on
Maddox’s forehead. “I think we should take you to see a doctor along with
Rei.”
“I don’t need a d-doctor, and I’m n-not buzzed,” Rei pouts, glaring at
her friend. The glare soon turns to a squint. “Why’s there four of them?”
Pulling her closer, I burrow my head into her neck to hide my laughter.
“C’mon, Pixie. It’s time for you to go to bed.” I brush my lips against the
side of her head.
“How are you getting home?” I hear Maddox ask.
“Uber.”
There’s a slight pause. “Let’s go, I’ll go with you.”
Rei turns in my arms, almost slapping me in the face as she grabs my
face between her palms. “Only if you’ll stay with me.” Her gaze fixes on
my mouth. Rei nibbles at her lip, the tip of her finger sliding over mine. “I
missed you when you were gone.”
My traitorous heart starts beating faster at her words.
“I missed you too.”
Rei lifts on the tips of her toes and presses her mouth against mine. I
kiss her back, enjoying the feel of her soft lips under mine.
Somebody clears their throat behind me. Breaking apart, I turn around
and find Hayden with a buzzed Callie tucked under his arm.
“You going home?”
“Sure. Guys?” I look around for our friends.
“Nixon and Yas are taking Jade and Grace to their dorm first, Emmett
and Kate left with Maddox and Alyssa.”
I nod and look down. Rei’s head is pressed against my pec, her eyes
already half-closed. “Let’s get you to bed, Pixie,” I whisper, brushing my
lips against the top of her head.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY

OceanofPDF.com
REI
I shift on the bed, groaning softly. My head is throbbing painfully. A
consistent thump, thump, thump, like the beat of a drum. Only the drum is
inside my head, and somebody is pounding against it, making my stomach
turn.
I try to swallow, but my mouth feels like somebody poured sand down
my throat.
Me.
I poured sand down my throat.
Or better said, tequila.
My stomach shifts, so I press my hand against it, clenching my eyes
tighter.
You won’t puke. You won’t puke. You won’t puke.
If I say it enough times, maybe I can make it true?
I stay lying in bed for a few minutes until I feel like I can finally breathe
in without wanting to empty my stomach out in the same breath. Only then
do I slowly pry my eyes open.
A faint light is peeking through the curtains, and for the first time I
realize I’m not in the dorm but in Zane’s room. Blindly, I reach for my
phone to check the time. “Shit!”
I do a double take, but nope, it still reads the same: six-freaking-thirty.
Which means I’m freaking late.
I throw the covers to the side and jump out of the bed, almost losing my
balance in the process and falling on my ass.
“Shit, shit, shit.” I continue the chant as I look around the room in
panic, searching for my clothes.
Last night is hazy in my mind. I remember Jade calling me to come and
join her and the girls; I remember drinking, laughing, dancing. I was texting
with Zane at one point, and I’m pretty sure he’s the one who came for me,
but not exactly how that happened.
“Rei?” Zane murmurs from under the covers I just threw on him.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m late,” I cry out.
Just then I see my dress thrown over the chair and grab it, quickly
removing Zane’s shirt from it, and pull the dress on. I don’t know where my
bra is, but at this point I don’t care. I have to get to the rink, and I have to
get there fast.
Not like it’s going to help because Alex’s going to kill me.
I see notifications and messages on my phone, I just don’t have time to
check them since my mind is fixed on the time and the fact that I overslept
for the first time in my life.
There’s shuffling behind me, and Zane gets out of bed, reaching for his
sweats.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting dressed.” He quickly grabs his hoodie and pulls it on over his
bare chest. “C’mon, we’ll get you there in no time.”
“No, you should stay…”
Zane shakes his head. “I should have asked last night when we got
home. We’ll grab your things back at the dorm and get you to the rink.” He
cups my cheek. “I’m sorry, Rei. This is all—”
I kiss him to stop the words from coming out.
“It’s my fault.” The last thing I want is for him to feel guilty over my
foolishness. “I shouldn’t have drunk so much when I know I’m a
lightweight.”
Zane’s jaw is set in a hard line. “Doesn’t matter.” He exhales slowly, his
thumb swiping over my cheek. “It’s all going to be okay. C’mon.”

We’re quiet as Zane drives me across campus to my dorm, where I quickly

rush in to grab my duffle.
My entire body is tense as we travel the quiet streets on our way to the
rink. I’m not even sure what to expect. I’ve never been late in my life, and I
know Alexei isn’t one to tolerate tardiness. Add to it that he hated the idea
of me coming to Blairwood in the first place, and this has shitshow written
all over it.
The arena comes into view and Zane goes straight for the parking lot.
We took Hayden’s truck since Zane can’t drive his bike until the spring.
“Thanks for bringing me here.” I’ve already unbuckled my seatbelt
before he even pulled to a stop.
 “No problem.” He kills the engine and does the same. “Let’s get you
inside.”
A part of me hates the idea. I don’t know what I might be walking into.
What kind of reaction can I expect? But the other part of me is happy to
have Zane’s support.
Since there isn’t enough time, I don’t even bother protesting.
We get out and rush inside, our hurried footsteps echoing against the
tiles.
I push open the door, my breathing ragged as my eyes take in the empty
rink.
Shit, he already—
“I actually wanted to see if you were going to show up.”
Alexei stands up from his spot on the bench, his arms crossed over his
chest. His mouth is pressed in a tight line, eyes ice cold.
“Alex…”
“Don’t you Alex me!” he barks so loudly I flinch. I’ve never seen
Alexei so angry. Like ever. He gets pissed occasionally, even yells, but
nothing like this. “Fifty minutes, Rei. Fifty fucking minutes.”
“Don’t yell at her!” Zane barks right back as he stands next to me.
Alex slowly turns to Zane. “Who do you think you are to tell me how to
talk to her?”
“Her boyfriend.”
“Well, I’m her fucking coach, and she’s late for her practice,” Alex yells
so loudly the veins pop on his neck.
“I’m sorry, okay?” Hot tears burn my eyes. I feel small. So freaking
small right now. “It wasn’t my intention—”
“I told you this was going to be a bad idea. I told you! Do you even
realize what’s at stake here, Rei? Huh? Do you?”
“Stop treating her like a child! She’s late, so what? She’s been working
her ass off since the day she got here.”
“Of course you’d say that. I’m sure it’s all your fault anyway. I knew
she shouldn’t have come here. Shouldn’t have started messing with you.
We’re talking about going to the Games here. The Winter Games.” Alex
gives Zane a once-over. “Not like you’d know anything about that.”
“It’s not his fault, so don’t talk to him like that,” I yell right back. If he’s
going to yell at somebody, it damn well better be me. “Do you think I don’t
know what’s at stake? I fucking know, Alex. I’ve been doing everything in
my power to get there my whole life. And I’m fucking sorry for being late.
It was a mistake. My mistake, but it won’t happen again.”
There’s a tense silence as Alexei watches me for a moment. My
stomach rolls, but this time it has nothing to do with tequila and all with this
sinking feeling in my gut.
This is wrong.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Alex grits his teeth and tilts his chin toward the rink. “Change and get
on the ice.”
I look at Zane, giving him a small smile. His face is impassive as he
stares Alex down, a vein in his forehead ticking.
I give his hand a quick squeeze, hoping it conveys all I want to say, but
I can’t. Not right now. Not if I don’t want to stir the pot any more than I
already have.
“Call me when you’re done,” Zane murmurs. “I’ll come and pick you
up.”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
Rei disappears from my view, but I don’t move a muscle.
“You don’t fucking talk to her that way,” I say, my voice low. “Ever
again.”
My fingers are clenching into fists by my side. I want to punch this
smug asshole in the face. I saw the tears in Rei’s eyes. She tried to hide
them, but they were there.
“The way I talk to Rei is none of your concern.” The smug asshole takes
me in, assessing me, so I do the same.
He’s fit, but on the lean side, and a few inches shorter than me. Besides,
I’m so angry he wouldn’t stand a chance even if we were built the same
way.
“I knew you’d be trouble. I knew it and I told her to stay away, but did
she listen?” He shakes his head, the disgust clear on his face. “You’re not
good enough for her. You’ll never be able to understand her, what this all
means to her, not the way I do.”
Like I don’t know that. Like I don’t see how better she’s than me. How
much brighter her future is.
“I never said I am, but the difference between us is that I don’t treat her
like skating is the only thing that matters.”
I turn around, ready to get out of here.
“You’ll be her downfall,” he calls after me.
My back muscles stiffen, but I don’t turn back to acknowledge him.
Don’t stop walking.
“I wonder what she’ll think once she realizes you took away the only
thing that she wanted.”
Barely holding myself in check, I push open the door and get the hell
out.

“Where were you?” Hayden looks at me with a confused expression on his

face as I enter the kitchen through the garage door.
I rub my hand over my face, Asshole’s words still ringing in my mind.
 You’re not good enough for her.
“Rei overslept and was late for her practice, so I drove her,” I explain
absentmindedly.
You’ll be her downfall.
“Damn, that sucks. How angry was her coach?”
I blink, pushing back the thoughts swirling in my mind. “On a scale of
one to ten? Raging asshole.”
Hayden’s brows shoot up. “That bad?”
I grunt, going for the fridge and pulling a water bottle out.
“I’m sure it’s going to be okay. It’s just one practice. We’ve all been
there.”
I don’t think Rei has, but I don’t bother pointing that out.
Instead, I shake my arms, but it doesn’t help loosen my muscles. “I need
to blow off some steam.”
Hayden gives me a long, knowing look. “You know this isn’t your fault,
right?”
It’s not his fault, so don’t talk to him like that.
Everybody keeps saying it, but it is. It really is.
This isn’t the first time Rei slept over, I should have known she’d have
practice in the morning. I should have set the alarm. I should have woken
her up. I should have asked her before falling asleep.
I look away. “It feels that way.”
“Well, it’s not. Shit like this happens, it’s just one practice. It’s not a big
deal.”
Maybe, or maybe it could cost her her chance at the Winter Games. Cost
her her dream.
You’ll be her downfall.
“You coming or what?” I ask, squeezing the empty bottle before
throwing it in the trash.
“Running or gym?”
“Gym, I have a sudden need to punch somebody.”
“Fuck,” Hayden groans. “Fine, but you better not ruin my face because
Callie will end you.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
A light knock comes from the living room. I look up at the door, wondering
who it might be. Grace and Jade just left for the cafeteria and I asked them
to bring me back something to eat because I didn’t have it in me to get up
and do it on my own.
My whole body still aches from the practice Alexei put me through. I
fell so many times I lost count and I could barely leave the rink walking,
but I took everything he had to throw at me.
We went over the whole routine at least a dozen times and then came
the individual jumps and spins. Not once did I say a word, I just did it over
and over and over again. Until my muscles were shaking so badly, I could
barely stand on my blades. Until my breathing was so shallow, it came out
in ragged pants.
Seriously, how stupid could I have been?
The knock sounds again.
“Coming.”
I push off the bed, every bone in my body protesting the movement as I
take minuscule steps toward the door. I just get there when another knock
sounds.
“Where’s the—” I pull open the door and face a very familiar chest. My
head snaps up, heart kicking up a notch. “Zane?”
“Hey,” he whispers softly.
He’s leaning against the doorframe, his head bowed down.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
I raise my hand to cup his cheek. My side clenches tightly, pain
shooting through my body, but I bite the inside of my cheek, preventing a
groan from coming out.
“When I texted to see if you were done, you said you’re okay. And then
nothing.”
I slide my thumb over his face, enjoying the feel of the scruff on his
jaw. “Sorry, I was just tired.”
And I didn’t want Zane to see me like this. I could see he was pissed at
Alex this morning at the rink, and I didn’t want them to get into an even
bigger fight over me.
“You okay?”
 “Yeah, it’s just been a long day.” I move aside. “Wanna come in?”
Zane looks at the empty living room before stepping in. “Girls out?”
“They went to grab dinner.”
I slowly work my way to my bedroom, Zane following behind me. I
think I’m doing great, but just as I’m planning to sit down, I wince.
“What’s wrong with you?”
I curse myself inwardly. And I was doing so well. I keep my back to
him until I’m sure I’ve schooled my features completely. “I’m fine,
really…”
Zane turns me around, gently pushes my hand away, and lifts my shirt. I
close my eyes, waiting for him to explode, but he doesn’t. No, he’s deadly
quiet, which somehow makes this whole situation worse.
“What the fuck is this?” Zane asks gently.
“It’s just a bruise.” I pull my shirt out of his hand and let it slip down.
“Just a bruise?” he asks, running his hand over his face. “Just a
bruise?!”
“Yes, just a bruise. I fell at practice, it happens.”
“We’re not talking about a little bruise. You bruised your whole freaking
side.”
He’s right, of course. My whole hip, glute, thigh and half of my waist
are colored in different shades of purple and blue. I’ve been icing it since I
got home, but it won’t heal for weeks.
“How long?”
I blink, trying to concentrate on his question. And stopping him from
possibly hunting Alexei down. “How long what?”
“How long did he keep you there?”
“Zane—” I try to move closer, but he takes a step back, creating as
much distance as he can between us in this small space.
“How long, Rei?” he grits through his teeth as if it pains him to ask me.
I look away, unable to hold his stare. “Three hours.”
“Fuck.”
Zane turns his back to me, his hands gripping into fists so tightly his
knuckles have turned white.
“Zane…”
This time he can’t stop me, so I go to him. I wrap my hands around his
waist and place my head against the hard muscles of his back. Zane’s body
is tense under mine, but he doesn’t try to push me away.
 Maybe he needs this almost as much as I need it. Maybe he needs me
almost as much as I need him.
“I’m going to kill him. I swear, Rei…”
I tug his hand, forcing him to face me. My body screams at me from the
sudden movement, but I bite my cheek so hard I can feel the metallic taste
in my mouth. Blood. “You’ll do nothing.”
“Rei, don’t…”
“No.” I refuse to let him get into trouble because of me. “It was my own
damn fault for being late. It’s over now. I paid my dues. It’s done.”
“He had no right.”
“He’s my coach, Zane. And while this whole thing is fucked up, he was
right. Too much is on the line to mess it all up now because of a night out
and a few drinks, but that’s all on me. Not you. Not the girls. Me.”
Zane cups my cheeks and leans down, pressing his forehead against
mine. “If he actually cared about you, and not just the damn end goal, he’d
have let you leave early and rest. Not risk injuring you. You had no business
being out on the ice hung over.”
Zane’s right. I know he is. Alexei was angry at me, and I was too
stubborn to let him know the kind of pain I was in after that fall. I would
not crumble under his watchful stare. No way, no how. But he’s my coach.
Has been for years. He should have known something was wrong.
Zane shakes his head, as if clearing his thoughts. “Do you have an ice
pack?”
Of course he’d ask that. Because he’s good, kind and caring. “It’s
cooling in the fridge.”
Zane nods, his posture still tense as he leans down and kisses my
forehead. “Lie down.”
I do as he says, watching him slip out of my room. My body instantly
sighs in relief as I take the pressure off the bruised flesh.
Zane’s back in less than a minute, an ice pack in his hand. “I couldn’t
find a towel.”
“Chair.”
He turns around and spots it, grabbing it to wrap the ice pack in. I try to
sit up in the bed.
“What are you doing?” He frowns at me. “Turn on your side.”
“Only if you’ll lie down next to me.” There’s no way I’m risking him
dashing away, when I’ll take forever to get up if I lie down.
 “Side, Rei.” Zane glares at me, not in the least bit amused. Great, I
guess that makes both of us.
“Are you staying?”
“I’ll stay,” Zane sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Will you turn
on your side now, please?”
“Fine.” I do as he asked and scoot the shirt up. It’s one he left here when
he stayed over before. Long enough to cover me without actually putting
pressure on the injury.
The tick in his jaw appears once again when he sees the bruise, his jaw
hardening.
“It’s okay.” I take his hand in mine, hissing as the cold pack touches my
skin even through the layer of protection. I pat the open space next to me.
“Come.”
Zane watches me for a while, and for a moment I think he changed his
mind, that he’ll turn around and leave, but then he toes off his shoes and
gets on the bed, lying on his side to face me.
We just lie quietly for a while, looking at each other. There is a deep
line between his brows, and the need to reach out and smooth it is almost
overwhelming.
“Do you think I’m bringing you down?” he asks quietly. So quietly, at
first I think I’m imagining it.
“What?” I cover his hand with mine. “No! Of course not. Where did
you get that from?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Zane tries to turn to his back, but I hold him back.
“Of course it matters. Where is this coming from?” It just makes no
sense. Why would he think that? Why… “Did Alexei say something to
you?”
That’s the only explanation. Zane was there when I left to change.
Something must have happened while I was away.
“What did he say to you?”
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Zane won’t be the one to strangle Alexei
for his blabbing. Maybe I’ll do it myself.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does!” I try to push myself up. The ice pack falls down, the
sudden movement making me wince.
 “Can you keep still?” Zane grabs the pack and places it back on my hip.
“I hate to see you hurting.”
“Well, I hate knowing that you’d think something like that, even if only
for a moment.” I reach for him, my hand cupping his cheek. “You get me,
Zane. You get me like nobody else does. And it’s thanks to your help that I
got this far to begin with. Yeah, technically, Alexei is a better figure skater.
He knows the sport on a deeper level because he’s trained for it his whole
life, but his fear is holding me back. You’ve never, not once, held me back.
You make me believe I can do this. You make me believe I can fly.”
Zane takes my hand in his, bringing it to his lips. His mouth is warm,
his breath tickling my skin.
“That’s because you can fly. I’ve known it from the very first moment I
saw you out there on the ice. You’ll do great things, Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki,
and I’ll be honored to say I know you.”
Zane kisses the top of my head. My forehead. The corner of my eyes.
His mouth peppers kisses all over my face until it finally touches my lips.
The kiss is slow and gentle. The kind of kiss that reaches deep into your
soul and takes hold of it, a kiss that brands me in the deepest way possible.
We break apart, but don’t pull back. Our foreheads touch on my pillow.
“You should rest,” Zane whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of my
face.
My eyelids feel heavy. I took some pain relievers a little before Zane
came. I hate relying on pills to get through, but I couldn’t take the pain a
moment longer.
“Will you stay with me?”
Another brush of Zane’s lips against mine. “Yeah, I’ll stay with you.
Rest now.”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
The sound of footsteps breaks me out of sleep. I wasn’t planning to doze
off. I didn’t think I was capable of it, not with all the rage coursing through
me, but somehow having Rei in my arms helped calm me down in a way
nothing else ever could.
I look over my shoulder as a shadow fills the doorway. We didn’t bother
closing the door since we were alone before. Besides, not that we needed it
to be closed to sleep in the bed.
“How is she?” Jade asks, her eyes fixed on the sleeping Rei next to me.
“In pain.” I watch her face for a moment. The scowl is still deep
between her brows, her face unusually pale.
Pushing back the covers slowly, I slip out of the bed and tiptoe out,
pulling the door closed behind me. Grace looks up from the kitchenette
part. “Zane. Is she okay?”
I rub my hand over my face. “Sleeping.”
“Rei called us to come pick her up.” Jade crosses her arms over her
chest, her face hard. “She could barely get out of the rink on her own.”
Her admission hits me in the face. Rationally, I know she had to get
home somehow, but it should have been me. I should have gone and gotten
her.
“She didn’t want you to see her that way,” Grace says softly. “Didn’t
want to worry you.”
“More like she didn’t want you to get in trouble. Although if I saw her
asshole coach, I’d have punched him myself.”
“He left her there?”
What asshole does that? What coach does that?
“She came out alone, but there weren’t any cars in the parking lot.”
“Fucking asshole.” I look toward the door, tempted to get out of here,
find the douchebag and pound some sense into him.
Jade stops in front of me. “Don’t. He’s not worth it, and Rei will only be
upset if she wakes up and finds you left.”
“He crossed the fucking line.”
“He did, but he’s her coach. You have to let her deal with it in her own
way.”
 I take a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling,
forcing my body to relax.
She’s right. I know she is.
I repeat the motion and little by little, my body relaxes enough for me to
unclench my fingers.
“I’m going back to Rei.”
I turn on the balls of my feet and duck back into the dark bedroom. The
girls murmur something on the other side of the wall, but I tune them out,
my full attention on the girl lying in the small bed in front of me.
Quietly, so as not to wake her, I take off my shirt. Then I pull out my
phone to set up an alarm for Rei to wake up because I know despite all the
pain, she’ll get up tomorrow and go back to practice like nothing’s going
on. But when I unlock my phone, I see a message from an unknown
number.
Unknown: I need you.
I close the message, leaving it unanswered like many more before it.
I knew Candie would be back. The leeches always come back for more,
sucking until there isn’t anything else left to give. I shouldn’t have ever
given her the money to begin with, but at the time it seemed like the easiest
way out. Would it have made a difference if I hadn’t given her anything?
No way of knowing that now.
Checking that the alarm is set, I slowly slide back in between the covers
and join Rei. Almost as soon as my body touches the mattress, Rei shifts
closer. She sucks in a sharp breath, but otherwise doesn’t wake up. She
snuggles into me, and I carefully wrap my arm around her.
Taking a deep breath, I let her sweet scent fill my lungs and calm me. I
brush my lips against her forehead, and that’s how I drift to sleep.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
As soon as I push the door to the rink open, I hear the familiar swishing
sound of skates cutting over the ice. I descend the stairs, my eyes fixed on
the rink and the lone person in it.
After she didn’t answer my texts, I knew I’d find her here. These days
she barely leaves the rink.
I’m not sure if it’s the whole fiasco of her being late from a couple of
weeks ago that’s still haunting her or if it’s her usual determination and
perfectionism that’s making her spend hours on end in the rink.
The other day I heard my coach complain about having to think about
the schedule to be able to fit in some extra practices.
I don’t bother calling out, because I know she has earbuds tucked into
her ears, so instead I just watch her glide over the ice, moving to the melody
only she can hear.
I suck in a breath as I see Rei get into a takeoff position, my fingers
clenching into fists by my sides. No matter how many times I’ve seen her
do it, my heart stops every single time she attempts to execute it. Maybe it’s
the fact that I know how wrong it could all go, or maybe it’s just because
it’s Rei we’re talking about and I can’t have something happen to her.
She launches into the air and rotates. I count every spin in my head,
even though it barely lasts a split second. She lands back on the ice before I
can blink and goes straight into the second jump. Quadruple toe loop, triple
toe loop. It’s been one of the most consistent jumps she’s been doing lately.
And although she can do a few more quad jumps now, she doesn’t land
them nearly as often as she’d like or deems necessary to be able to include
them in her program.
I watch silently as Rei does the same combination three more times in
succession, landing them every single time, before she tries for a quad Lutz.
She doesn’t fall, but it’s not as flawless as the first one. There’s a small
stumble at the end that’s making the jump under-rotated.
I chuckle at myself. If any of my hockey buddies could hear me now,
they’d have a field day. A big, bulky guy from Ashton Heights dissecting
figure skating stance and jumps like a pro. But it’s not about figure skating,
it’s about her.
Rei.
 I’m reading her. Reading her moods, reading her movements. I want to
know everything there is to know about her and then some.
I get to the edge of the rink, leaning my forearms against the board
watching her attempt, and execute, two more Lutz jumps, before shifting
forward.
She can’t think…
I must make some noise because Rei turns around to face me. She
smiles when she sees me standing there, and that smile tugs at something
inside my chest.
“Spying on me?” she asks, her hand flying to her ear to turn off the
music.
“Didn’t you say you wanna go watch movies or something?”
Rei skates closer, her gaze dropping to her wrist.
“Shit, how is it this late already?”
“Maybe you’re growing senile?” I suggest as Rei skates across the rink
to stand in front of me.
“I lost track of time!” Rei puts her hand on my chest and shoves me
away, but I barely move an inch. She huffs in protest, which only has me
laughing. “I’m not senile.”
“If you say so, Pixie.”
“I do.”
Rei places her hands on the board and leans against it. “Hi.”
“Hey.” I reach forward, my fingers slipping a strand of her hair behind
her ear. Her hand goes to my neck, and she pulls me closer, her lips
brushing against mine.
“How was the football game?”
“It sucked.”
“What?” A frown appears on her face. “Why?”
I feel my mood darkening. “One of the guys got injured pretty badly.”
“What happened?”
Rei pushes the door to the ice open and gets down. I give her her skate
guards, which she puts on quickly. She laces her fingers through mine and
pulls me to the nearest bench.
“A guy tackled him to the ground, and I guess his knee got twisted in
the fall.” I turn to look at Rei, but my mind is still out there, rehashing the
entire scene.
 Rationally, we all know the risks. They’re drilled into us since the first
day we step onto a field as kids, and the warnings only grow more serious
the older we become, but nothing can prepare you for the harsh reality of
when something goes south and you actually get injured. I think that we as
athletes don’t actually believe it’ll happen. It’s this abstract thing that
happens to somebody else. You’re better than that, stronger than that, until
the moment it all catches up to you.
“It looks pretty fucked up. And if that fall wasn’t shitty enough, the guy
landed on top of him.” I shake my head, remembering how it all played out
on the field. It was still hard for me to wrap my mind around what
happened barely a couple of hours ago. One minute Prescott was running
across the field, the next he was down on the ground and he didn’t get up.
“He’ll be out for the season.”
If he plays again, a little voice reminds me.
Rei’s fingers tighten around mine. “How bad is it?”
My lips press in a tight line. “Bad.”
I don’t need to expand for her to understand it. She’s been an athlete all
her life. If anybody can comprehend the risks we all take every time we suit
up for practice or a game, it’s her. Her face turns grim, a silent
understanding passing between the two of us.
“I’m so sorry, Zane.”
I shrug. “I wasn’t the one who got hurt.”
“But he’s your friend.” Rei leans her head on my shoulder. “It sucks
when you have to watch another athlete get hurt. It’s a reminder of how
mortal and breakable we all really are.”
Ain’t that the truth.
We’re silent for a moment, her words hanging between us. I want to
reassure her that everything will be okay, but it’d be pointless. So instead, I
change the topic.
“You looked good out there. Still a little wonky on that Lutz, though.”
Rei pulls back, a tentative smile on her lips. “Look at you.” She jabs me
playfully in the chest. “Soon you’ll be a figure skating pro.”
I grab her hand and pull her closer. Rei sucks in a breath as she collides
with my chest. I wrap my free hand around her and pull her into my lap.
“If you tell anybody that, I’ll deny it,” I warn her playfully.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of what people will say?”
I puff out my chest. “Of course not.”
 “Maybe they’ll think you’ll switch teams.” She jabs me in the chest. “If
you do, I might be tempted to switch to pairs skating.”
“You never wanted to try it?” Rei shakes her head no. “Why?”
“It just never appealed to me. Besides, pairs skating is way harder than
it seems. The level of trust you need to have in your partner is insane, you
need to be completely in sync.”
A shiver runs through Rei, her skin pebbling under my touch. I rub my
hand along her thighs to warm her skin. She’s dressed in one of those tight
bodysuits that looks a lot like a bathing suit with something that should
represent a skirt over it. How she doesn’t get frostbite, I’ll never know.
“You’re cold.”
Sliding my hand under her thighs, I hold her tight as I get up and place
her down on the floor. I grab her duffle off the floor, find a hoodie inside
and hand it to her.
“C’mon, put that on. You don’t need to get cold.”
“So bossy,” she grumbles, but does as asked.
“Still wanna watch a movie?”
“Sure, but…” Her stomach rumbles loudly. “First you better feed me.”
I chuckle. “Sounds good to me.”

OceanofPDF.com
REI
The mood is somber when we get to Zane’s place. Everybody is huddled in
the kitchen, talking quietly. Hayden’s sitting at the table, Callie in his lap.
Yasmin’s stirring something on the stove, while Nixon leans against the
counter. They all lift their heads when we come inside, hand in hand.
“How is he?” Zane asks the guys.
“Fucked up,” Hayden grumbles. “Coach said he’s staying overnight and
will meet with the orthopedic surgeon in the morning to fix him.”
“Damn. How bad?”
Nixon shakes his head. “They didn’t want to say anything. Not until the
specialist looks at him.”
That in itself is answer enough. We all know it, but nobody says it out
loud. After a while the guys continue talking about the game, which the
Ravens won in the end, but they also paid a high price, losing one of their
key players.
Listening to them, I was more grateful than ever that I haven’t had any
big injuries in all my time as a figure skater.
Yasmin looks over her shoulder at me. “Where did you two come
from?”
“Zane just picked me up from the rink.”
“Do you live in that place?” Callie laughs softly.
“Funny, that’s exactly the way Jade always puts it. But with Nationals
coming just after the holidays, I need to get all the practice time I can.”
I’m determined to land a quad loop at Nationals, but to do that I need to
practice more. I’m still falling or under-rotating more times than I want to.
“Nationals sound important.”
“They are. It’s my chance to earn a ticket to some of the other
international competitions like Four Continents and the World
Championships.”
Winter Games.
“You guys hungry?” Yasmin asks, turning off the burner on the stove.
Just then my stomach rumbles. Loudly.
Everybody turns their heads toward me.
“What?” I press my hand over my stomach protectively, feeling a blush
rise up my neck. “Don’t look at me like that, I just finished a four-hour
workout.”
“Nobody said anything.” Hayden lifts his hands in the air.
“Then why were you staring at me like that?”
“You have a loud stomach, that’s all.”
“No, what I have is a hungry stomach. And somebody promised to feed
it.” I look pointedly at Zane.
“There’s food.” He points at the stove.
“You’re the worst.”
“C’mon, kids, no need to fight. There’s more than enough for
everybody.” Yasmin laughs. “You,” she points at Zane. “Go and grab
Maddox. He hasn’t left his room the last couple of days. And you.” She
turns around and tosses the towel she had over her shoulder at Nixon.
“Wipe and set the table.”
“Why do I always have to do all the hard work?” He pouts
exaggeratedly.
Yasmin moves closer to him, her fingers curving around the belt loops
of his pants. I look away, but there’s no unhearing the words, no matter how
softly whispered. “Want to eat? You better pay up.”
“I have a better way of paying you, babe.”

I stretch my hands overhead, urging my muscles to relax. After the dinner

we went up to Zane’s room and turned on Netflix. Zane wanted to watch
some TV show, but I won and we’re watching anime instead.
Zane slides his hands up my arms and onto my shoulders, giving them a
firm squeeze. My eyes fall shut as a soft moan parts my lips.
“Good?” Zane whispers, moving my hair away so he has better access.
“I didn’t even realize how tense I am.”
Zane keeps working on my back, kneading the muscles into submission
with his talented fingers. “You’re working too hard.”
I chuckle. “Like you’re one to talk.”
Just like figure skating, hockey season is also long. Zane has a mix of
home and away games, and I do my best to make it when I have a little free
time. I love seeing him in action. Not only is he a fast skater, but it’s also
fun to see Zane let go of the reins he keeps firmly in check once he’s out of
the rink. Out on the ice, he’s a force to be reckoned with and he has a mean
slapshot. He’s not the only one learning, that’s for sure.
“Are you done with your internship essay?”
Zane sent it to me last week to read before submitting it to his mentor. It
was seriously amazing. I suggested some tweaks here and there, but overall
it was fascinating seeing his viewpoint on the subject. I knew he was good
with athletes and that he helped some of his friends with training, but seeing
his ideas put on paper just made it seem more real.
Slowing down his movement, Zane presses his lips against the back of
my neck. “Just turned it in this morning.”
“Well, that’s great. I can’t believe first semester is almost over.”
“Right?” There’s a slight pause as he continues working my muscles.
“Did college turn out to be what you expected?”
I look over my shoulder, meeting his green eyes. I’m not sure if it’s the
dim light or what, but they seem darker now, more intense. I cup his cheek,
lowering my gaze to his full lips. “Even better.”
Our lips meet in a kiss. There’s nothing like kissing Zane. The hard
press of his mouth, the softness of his full lips as they work mine is unlike
anything I’ve ever experienced.
My hand goes to his neck, pulling him closer to me. He nibbles at my
lower lip, teasing and tasting. A soft moan parts my lips and his tongue
slides into my mouth, deepening the kiss.
Uncomfortable in this position, I pull back and shift so I’m straddling
his lap. My hands wind around Zane’s neck, fingers diving into his soft
curls. I tug his head back and latch my mouth onto his once again.
I run my hand down his chest, sliding it under the hem of Zane’s shirt.
My fingers trickle over his abs, outlining every little square on his stomach.
Zane pulls back, grabs his shirt and pulls it over his head in one swift
motion.
“Better?” He smirks at me.
“Much.”
I move closer, kissing the hollow of his shoulder, and over his
collarbone. I pepper kisses over every inch of his dark skin, loving the
contrast between the two of us.
Where I’m light, he’s dark. When I’m soft, he’s hard. But together, we
just fit perfectly.
“You’re so beautiful,” I say, coming back for another kiss.
 “Not as beautiful as you are. I want to taste you,” he growls against my
mouth.
I shake my head no. “You made me feel good before.” I shove against
his naked chest. “Let me return the favor.”
Zane holds my gaze as I move down his body. My hands slide down his
naked chest, all the way to his pants. With a flick of my fingers, I have the
button undone, and the zipper follows soon after.
My mouth waters in anticipation.
“Up.”
He lifts his hips, and I tug his pants and boxers down his muscled
thighs. His cock juts free, hard and ready.
I lick my lips, wrapping my hand around his hard length. I’ve wanted to
do this for a while, but somehow things always turned in the other direction.
I pump my hand over his hard dick, tightening my fingers around him.
“Rei, are you sure…”
“Shh…” I press my finger against his lips. “My turn.”
With that, I lower down and take him in my mouth.

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Shit.”
My head falls back as Rei’s lips wrap around my cock.
Holy motherfucker.
She flicks her tongue over the tip, tasting the bead of precum before she
takes more of me into her mouth. She works my length slowly, pulling back
only to return, taking more of my dick into her mouth with each bob of her
head.
I slide my hand into her hair, wrapping it around my wrist and pulling it
back so I can see her face.
“Fuck, Rei,” I hiss. “You’re killing me.”
She smiles wickedly, pleased with the compliment, before she gets back
to work. I lean against the headboard, settling back to enjoy the ride.
She’s taking me like a pro, her mouth and hand working in tandem. Rei
slides her tongue over the underside of my cock as she pulls back, until only
the tip is in her mouth, and then she sucks on it like a freaking lollipop
while her hand tightens around my base, giving it a slow pump with each
suck of her mouth.
“E-enough.” I tug gently at her hair, pulling her away from me. “I want
to come inside you.”
The little minx flicks her tongue over her lower lip. “My mouth is also
me.”
I lean down and crush my mouth against hers. “If you’re not careful,
I’m going to come right here, right now.” I take her in and shake my head.
“You have way too many clothes on.”
In one swift movement, I have her on her back. Rei sucks in a breath,
her eyes wide.
I slide my hand under her shirt and gently pull it up and over her head.
Her chest rises and falls rapidly. My fingers skim over the lace of her bra,
and under the back, effectively undoing the clasp of her bra and letting it
join her shirt.
“I love your clothes.”
“They’re just workout clothes.”
“Workout clothes that show off your toned legs, the curve of your ass,
and most importantly?” I slide my fingers under the waistband of her
leggings and pull them down in one go. “Are so easily removed.”
I give an appreciative stare to her naked body. Well, almost naked. She
still has on a matching lace thong. Just another perk of dating a figure skater
addicted to wearing leggings.
I cup her warm sex with my hand, my fingers sliding over the lacy
material. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me already.”
Rei grazes her teeth over her bottom lip, letting it pop. “I’m always wet
for you.”
My dick jumps happily at her words.
Slowly, I pull her panties down her hips. I cover her naked mound with
my hand, sliding my finger between her lower lips. Her pussy welcomes the
touch, opening up for me. My finger slips between her lips. Teasing.
Playing. I rub my thumb over her clit, making the little nub quiver under
my touch.
“Zane,” Rei breathes, arching her back off the mattress.
Chuckling, I push my finger inside her. Rei moans, her teeth sinking
into her lower lip to muffle the sound. Her fingers grab the comforter
underneath her, squeezing the material tightly. I speed up my movements,
adding another finger. Her walls grip me tightly, making my dick throb in
anticipation.
I want to be inside her so fucking bad it hurts.
“I don’t think I can wait much longer,” I warn her softly.
It’s all too much. She’s too much. It feels like I wanted her from the
very first moment, and now that I actually have her, I want to take
advantage of every single moment I have with her.
“Then don’t.”
She pushes my hand away and sits up. Pulling open the drawer of the
nightstand, she grabs a condom. I wrap my hand around my cock at the
very base, squeezing it tightly, and watch as she rips it open. Rei sits upright
and puts the condom on.
Once she’s done, I grab the back of her head and kiss her hard on the
mouth. “You’re so damn sexy.”
“You make me feel that way.”
With that, she pushes me and I let gravity pull me down onto the
mattress. She climbs onto me, her pussy hovering over my dick. Playfully,
she slides over it, coating my cock in her wetness.
 One hand wrapped around my dick, the other pressed against my
shoulder to steady herself, she looks me in the eyes. “Kiss me.”
So I do.
Our mouths meet, tongues tangling in a deep kiss that has us both
moaning loudly.
Or maybe it’s the fact that she slowly lowered herself over me until my
dick is inside her to the hilt.
I force my eyes open so I can look at her. Gently, I brush her hair away.
“So fucking tight.”
Rei slowly rolls her hips over mine, her tits bouncing with the
movement.
“Like this.” I grab her waist and help lift her up and then lead her back
down. She repeats the motion, this time rising higher and lowering faster.
Rei finds her rhythm, and I lean back for the ride. I let my hands rise
higher, cupping her tits in my hands, pinching her nipples and turning them
into two tight buds. I suck one of them into my mouth, letting my teeth
graze over the sensitive tip before pulling it deeper into my mouth, and then
repeat the same on the other.
Rei’s head falls back, her movements turning jerky.
“Z-Zane…” Rei pants, her fingers digging into my skin so hard it’ll
leave marks. “I need you deeper.”
“Deeper?” I pull out quickly and turn her around. “Grab the headboard.”
She does as I say, and I slip my knees between her legs, spreading them
wider before thrusting inside.
“Yes.”
Her pussy squeezes around my dick and I have to close my eyes and
remind myself to breathe. I slide my hand onto her belly and down between
her legs, circling my fingers around her clit.
“You feel so fucking perfect.”
I thrust my hips faster, making sure that each push is at just the right
angle so it hits the spot that has her moaning my name loudly.
“I-I’m c-coming,” Rei calls out, her pussy clenching around me so tight
I feel like it’ll suck me inside.
With her over the edge, I let go. My fingers grip her hips tighter, my
movements turn erratic as I chase my own release. I sink deeper with each
thrust, her walls clinging to me tightly. The pressure builds in the base of
my spine. I bury my head in her neck as I empty inside her, my vision
turning black.
Together, we fall down into a mass of tangled limbs.
Gently, I pull out of her and lie down on the bed, pulling her into my
body.
We’re both breathing hard as we come down from the high. Rei curls
into my side, her leg coming between mine.
“Did I hurt you?” I ask softly, brushing my lips over the top of her head.
“Nuh-uh,” she hums, shaking her head.
We lie in bed for a while in silence, my finger roaming over the silky
skin of her back. Just when I think she’s dozed off, Rei calls my name.
“Zane?”
“Hmmm?”
The tip of Rei’s finger slowly slides over my pecs, tracing a pattern
that’s only known to her.
“There is this thing…” She starts slowly, almost reluctantly.
I look down, but her gaze is fixed on my chest, following the trail she’s
creating on my skin.
“What thing?” I ask carefully, unsure of where she’s going with this.
Sighing, she pulls the sheet over her chest, sits up and rests her back
against the headboard.
“My family, we have this annual Christmas celebration at my house. I’d
like you to come.”
My throat goes dry at her words. Christmas? At her house?
“Rei, I…” My throat bobs as I swallow, trying to find the right words,
and answer, but coming up empty.
Rei places her hand over my mouth. “Think about it? I know it’s really
not your scene, but it’s a tradition my mom started and it would mean the
world to me if you were there.”
Dammit.
I know how much Rei’s mom means to her. How much she looks up to
her.
But going to some rich gala? And not just any rich gala, but one
organized by her father?
“Please?” She cups my cheek, her thumb swiping over my stubbled jaw.
“Say you’ll think about it. That’s the only thing I’m asking.”
How the hell can I say no to that?
How can I say no at all?

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Yo, let me borrow one of those fancy shirts of yours.”
Hayden looks up from the bed, where he’s typing something on his
laptop. “I thought you weren’t going to the Christmas ball.”
“I’m not.”
I go straight for his dresser and start poking around. I pull open the first
drawer and…
“Shit, I did not need to see that.”
Hayden comes from behind me, slapping the drawer with Callie’s
underwear shut.
“Serves you right for snooping around. What the hell do you need a
button-up for, anyway?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Rei’s family has this thing going on and
she invited me to come.”
Hayden turns around abruptly and gapes at me. You’d think I just
admitted to dropping out of college or something. “You’re going to Rei’s
house?”
“Didn’t I just say that?”
“To meet her parents?”
I shift my weight from one leg to the other. “No, to that Christmas party
she wants me to go to. But yeah, I guess her dad will be there too. Do you
have a shirt or do I need to go raid Nixon’s closet? I’d take Maddox’s but I
don’t think I’d be able to button the damn thing.”
“Let me get this straight.” Hayden leans against the wardrobe and
crosses his arms over his chest. “You’re going to Rei’s place for a family
thing. A holiday family thing.”
I grit my teeth. “Nixon’s closet it is.”
I turn around, but Hayden grabs my arm and pulls me back, laughing his
ass off. “Chill, I’m just fucking with you. Here…” He opens the wardrobe
and pulls a couple of hangers out. “You can even choose.”
“How generous of you.”
I look at the shirts, grabbing a regular white and a gray one. Those seem
like the safest choices. Besides, I have no idea what Rei’s going to wear, but
I’m not about to embarrass her.
 “Thanks.” I turn around to go to my room and finish packing, but
Hayden stops me.
“Zane?”
“Huh?” I look over my shoulder at him.
“She’s good for you, you know?”
I shrug, trying to play nonchalant. “We’re just having fun.”
“You’re going to this event with her for fun?”
“She’s a fun girl to be around.”
Hayden eyes me for a moment. “You deserve to be happy too, and if
Rei’s making…”
“It’s not like that between us. We’re not you and Callie. Can you
seriously see Rei with somebody like me long term?”
Hayden frowns. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
Except that I’m all wrong for her.
“I’ve gotta go finish packing.”

“Home sweet home,” Rei says happily as she presses the button on a remote
she pulled from the glove compartment of her car. The big steel fence
squeaks and starts to open to let us through.
“This is your place?” I know I’m probably gaping, but there isn’t
anything that can be done about it. This is where she lives?
If I thought coming with her would be a bad idea before, it has nothing
on this very moment.
The gravel road leads to the big, two-story mansion. The house and the
round driveway with a fountain in the middle of it are decorated in bright
Christmas lights and other decorations that I bet were done by
professionals.
Rei parks her car behind a shiny black BMW. And is that a Bentley in
front of it? It sure seems like it.
Holy shit.
I tug at the collar of my shirt, suddenly feeling like there isn’t enough
air in the car.
“Yes, Dad bought it shortly after we moved to the States.”
 Rei shrugs, her gaze turning distant for a moment. I place my hand over
hers, and she turns to me, offering me a small smile.
“C’mon, let’s go inside.”
The drive took longer than expected since it started to snow pretty
heavily halfway to Boston.
We get out of the car, the cold air hitting me in the face as soon as I
open the door. Rei meets me at the hood, and I slide my hand to the small of
her back.
“Who’s going to be here again?”
“Some of dad’s work associates and their families. Aunt Milly, that’s
my Dad’s sister, and her husband.”
Rei walks up the steps with me following behind her, although in reality
all I want to do is turn around, get back in that car, and get the hell out of
here.
Why did I agree to this again?
As soon as we get to the door, Rei presses the doorbell. Who the hell
presses the doorbell at their own home?
Rei turns around, the hem of her dark red dress peeking beneath her
long black coat, her smiling face looking up at me. “Don’t look so worried,
he’s going to love you.”
I’m not sure I share the sentiment. From what I remember of Rei’s
father that one time I got a chance to see him, he didn’t seem like the most
welcoming of guys, but what the hell do I know?
Even if I wanted to say something, I don’t get a chance. The door opens,
and a woman appears on the other side. She’s older, probably in her fifties,
dressed in a black knee-length skirt and white dress shirt.
The woman smiles as recognition sets in. “Miss Rei, it’s so good to have
you home! We worried you wouldn’t make it.”
Miss Rei.
“Hey, Suzanna.” Rei’s smile is immediate and genuine. She steps inside
and greets the woman with a quick hug. “The roads were a mess, so it took
a bit longer, but we made it.”
Rei looks over her shoulder at me, smiling brightly. “Suzanna, this is
Zane, my boyfriend. Zane, Suzanna. She’s been my caretaker since I was a
baby, and now she leads the household.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
The woman gives me a long, appreciative stare, and shakes my hand.
 “A boyfriend, huh? I thought you went to college to go to school.”
Rei looks at me, a mischievous shine in her brown irises. “Among other
things.” She turners back to Suzanna. “Where is everybody?”
“Music room.”
Rei nods and unbuttons her coat. I help her shrug out of it and then take
off my own.
“I’ll take that,” Suzanna says, sliding the coats over her arms.
“Thank you, Suzanna.” Rei links her hand with mine, intertwining our
fingers. “Come on, let’s get you introduced to everybody.”
Suzanna gives me an understanding smile as Rei pulls me down the
hallway. Her heels click against the marble floors as we pass by different
closed doors. The further down we go, the louder the sound of chatting and
soft music playing in the background is.
“This is a small thing, yeah?” I ask, my eyes warily fixed on the open
door at the end of the hallway. My Adam’s apple bobs as I swallow and
brush my sweaty palm against the side of my leg.
“Yeah.” Rei chuckles. “It’s going to be okay, really.”
We enter the room and almost collide with a woman.
“Rei, my goodness!” The woman takes a step back, pressing her hand
over her chest. “You surprised me.”
Rei tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Sorry, Aunt Milly.”
“That’s okay.” Rei’s aunt pulls her into a hug. “Did you just get here?”
Without waiting for an answer, she takes a step back and looks at Rei from
head to toe. “My goodness, you look even more gorgeous than the last time
I saw you! I could strangle Anthony for not bringing you for Thanksgiving.
That work of his will be the death of him.”
Rei laughs, probably used to her aunt’s antics. “It was an important deal,
but I missed you too. And yes, we arrived just a few minutes ago.” Rei
loops her hand through mine. “Aunt Milly, this is my boyfriend, Zane.
Zane, meet my aunt, Milly.”
Her aunt finally turns her attention to me. She’s a few inches taller than
Rei, her brown hair curled around her thin face, her eyes sharp as they take
me in, assessing everything. She moves her gaze from me to her niece and
back.
I shift uncomfortably, feeling as if all the eyes in the room have turned
toward us. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
 “It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man.” She offers me her hand; it’s
soft and delicate, and for a moment I wonder if maybe I should kiss the
back of it. I settle for a quick handshake, hoping she can’t feel how sweaty
my palm is before I let go.
“A boyfriend, huh?” Her aunt lifts her brow. “Does your dad know
about it?”
“Does your dad know about what?” a booming voice asks.
“Dad!” Rei lets go of my hand and goes to her dad, wrapping her arms
around his middle for a hug. He curls his arms around her, his eyes falling
shut for a moment as he just holds her.
Just like Suzanna, he’s in his late forties, maybe early fifties. I caught a
glimpse of Rei’s father that one time he came to the rink. His black hair is
peppered with gray and neatly cut. He’s wearing a business suit, dress shirt
and a tie that probably cost like half my tuition for a semester at Blairwood,
if not more.
He pulls back, caressing his daughter’s cheek. “How was the drive?”
“Long, but good.” Rei takes her father’s hand, still smiling at him. “I
want you to meet somebody.”
Rei looks over her shoulder, giving me an encouraging smile. Forcing
my feet to move, I join her by her side.
“Dad, this is Zane, my boyfriend. Zane, meet my dad, Anthony
Mitchell.”
Anthony Mitchell lifts his gaze, sharp blue eyes landing on me. He
takes me in, the gentle expression he had for his daughter only moments
earlier turning to stone. I know that reaction well. I’ve seen it a thousand
times before.
“I see,” is his only comment.
I clear my throat and extend my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”
He looks down at my hand for a moment, nodding once. “I have guests
to attend to. Rei, you should make a round too. People have been asking
about you.”
With that, he turns on his heels and goes back to his guests.
Rei looks at her father’s retreating back, before turning to me. “Zane,
I’m so sorry. I—”
I shake my head. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“He isn’t usually like this, I don’t know…”
 “Anthony can occasionally be an asshole,” her aunt says, grabbing a
flute from a passing server. “Thankfully, it doesn’t run in the family. He’ll
come around. How about we grab you some drinks? My husband is
somewhere around here. Come on.”

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Seriously, Rei? You brought him here?”
I turn around, my fingers clenching around the delicate champagne flute
in my hand. “He has a name, and it’s Zane,” I say through clenched teeth.
“He’s also my boyfriend, so don’t act like a douche.”
“He doesn’t belong here!” Alexei whisper-yells.
“I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” I turn on the balls of my
feet, ready to get out of there.
First dad and now Alexei too? What the hell is wrong with them? I’ve
never been more mortified in my life.
“Do I need to remind you of what he did?”
I turn around quickly and almost collide with Alexei. I jab my finger
into his chest. “I already—” I look around, noticing a few people watching
us. “Out.”
I push Alexei toward the door that leads to the back terrace. I expect
him to protest, but for once, he actually listens.
A shiver runs through my body as the icy December air hits me in the
face. I walk to the fence and lean against it, looking out toward the black
backyard. The snow is still falling heavily, covering every single surface,
but I can still see the outline of the rink. I was hoping to get Zane to skate
with me out there tomorrow.
Alexei puts his hand on my shoulder. “Rei…”
I turn around, shrugging his touch away. “I already told you Zane had
nothing to do with what happened that day, so leave it alone already.”
He presses his mouth in a tight line. “And yet you’ve never been more
distracted than when you started messing with that boy.”
My fingers clench by my side. “Call him boy one more time and I swear
to you, Alexei, I’m going to punch you in the face.”
“I’m just telling the truth.”
“What you’re doing is twisting the truth, so it fits your version of
reality. You never wanted me to go to Blairwood. You never wanted me to
have something other than skating. You thought I’d fail, and yet I’m still
crushing it out on the ice. I’ve been doing quads, for God’s sake!”
“So you think you’re what now? Invincible?”
 “No, what I think is that Blairwood made me better. Being there,
making friends, being with Zane, reminded me of how much fun skating
used to be.”
“Fun?” He practically spits the word out.
“Yes, fun. You should try it sometimes. Maybe you’d be less of an
asshole.”
“Fun doesn’t make champions, Rei. Hard work does.”
I lift my chin up a notch. “Well, I’ve been having fun, and working
hard. Guess that’s the magic combination. And I wouldn’t have that if I’d
never stepped foot on that campus.”
“Blairwood has nothing to do with what you’ve accomplished. Why
can’t you see that?”
Alex’s voice somehow seems louder in the otherwise silent surrounding.
He moves closer, so we’re standing chest to chest. I suck in a breath,
surprised by his outburst, his nearness.
“Alex…”
My heart thumps loudly in my chest, my stomach clenching tightly.
Why does he have to be like this?
“What’s going on here?”
I look up at the sound of my father’s voice. But it’s not him I see first.
My eyes meet Zane’s. He’s standing next to my father, face hard, eyes
unblinking.
“Zane.”
The sound of the music is now louder since the door’s been left wide
open behind them. I can’t believe I haven’t even heard it until now.
“You two do realize we can hear you inside?”
From the corner of my eye, I see Alex turn around slowly, running his
hand through his hair.
“I’m so sorry, Anthony. We were just talking about skating. You know
how we can get.”
I glare at him, ready to tell him off, but Dad’s faster.
“Well, can you not do it now? There’ll be more than enough time for
you two to quarrel over the winter break.” Dad turns to me. “Did you talk to
Mr. Richards? He has a new line especially made for figure skaters and he
said he’d love a future champion to represent it.”
Of course, back to business as usual.
I clench my teeth. “Not yet.”
 Dad looks at the Rolex on his wrist. “You should do it before he
leaves.”
What he means is I should do it now.
I sigh. “In a minute.”
He watches me for a few seconds, but when he sees I’m not budging, he
nods his head. “A minute. C’mon, Alexei. I want to introduce you to…”
I stop listening as the two of them head back inside, closing the door
behind themselves and leaving Zane and me standing alone outside.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
Rei and I just stare at one another, even after her dad and the asshat are back
inside. From the corner of my eye I could see him glaring at me as he was
walking away, but I wasn’t about to engage. Not with Rei and her father
there. And certainly not with a house full of guests inside. One of them
being her sponsor. Okay, more like a potential sponsor, but still. If I needed
any other reminder of how different her life is, this whole situation is it.
The house. The money. The people. Her father.
“I think it’s better if I leave.”
“What?” Rei’s eyes widen. “No.”
Her reaction is instant, genuine and nonnegotiable. But so is my resolve.
“I don’t think I’m really welcome here.” I rub my hand over my face.
“I’ll call an Uber to take me to the bus station or something to get back to
Grams’s place.”
Rei crosses her arms over her chest and marches toward me. She lifts
her chin stubbornly and jabs her finger in my chest. “You’re not taking the
bus.”
“Rei…”
“Zane.”
We just stare at one another for a few heartbeats. I want to hug her and
shake her for her stubbornness, but I don’t do either.
She sighs. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I can’t stay here.” I trace her cheek with the tips of my fingers. “Not
when I’m clearly not wanted. The last thing I want is to get you in trouble.”
Her dad doesn’t want me here, that much is obvious.
When I came out of the bathroom, I couldn’t find Rei and her aunt and
uncle were nowhere in sight. So I was walking round the room, trying my
best to blend in, as if that was even possible, and figured Rei would appear.
When I looked up, I saw Anthony Mitchell staring at me across the
room. He was talking with a group of men, all dressed in expensive suits
like him, but his attention was solely on me.
I don’t know what he was expecting, that I was going to steal
something?
At least her aunt and uncle are fun. Her aunt took us to the bar, where
we grabbed some drinks and chatted for a little while before Rei had to go
and make rounds. I figured I’d just stay in the background, but she wouldn’t
let me, instead she proudly introduced me to what felt like every single
person in the room.
“You’re not getting me in trouble. They’re the ones who are acting like
idiots.” Rei moves closer and wraps her arms around my middle. I pull her
in for a hug, sliding my hand up and down her back.
“Still, I think it would be best if I left.”
Rei takes my hand, letting out a sigh. “Fine, if you want to leave, we’re
going to leave.”
She starts toward the door, but I pull her to a stop before she can take
two steps. “You can’t leave.”
Rei tilts her head to the side. “Why not?”
“He’s your father.”
“He’s also acting like a douchebag, which I’m not the slightest bit
interested in supporting.”
“Maybe, but he’s your dad and you love him.”
I don’t want Rei to sacrifice anything for me. I remember that day when
he came to visit her at Blairwood. I could see how much he means to her,
and I wasn’t about to make her choose between the two of us.
“It’s two days before Christmas. You’ll regret it if you leave like this.” I
tug her toward me. “Besides, you have that rich guy to charm.”
“Ugh, Mr. Richards.”
I kiss the side of her head. “It’s a great opportunity for you. You have to
take it.”
“You could wait for me?” Rei suggests. “Hide with Suzanna in the
kitchen if you don’t want to be at the party while I talk to him really quick,
and we could leave together.”
I’m already shaking my head no, even before she finishes. Her throat
bobs as she swallows. I cup her cheek, and she leans into my touch. “I don’t
want you to leave.”
“Maybe it’s for the best.”
“It’s not. He’s an asshole.”
“An asshole you love.”
Rei sighs, closing her eyes. “At least take the car.”
“I can’t,” I answer instantly.
“Why not?”
 Because it’s not right. Because if somebody saw a black kid driving a
brand new Mercedes in this part of town, or anyplace really, I’d get in
trouble.
“I just can’t. Besides, how are you going to get back?”
“Alex will take me.”
My jaw clenches. The last thing I want is to push Rei even more toward
Alex than she already is. I can see the way he looks at her. She might not
realize it, but I do.
He likes her.
Even worse, her dad likes him for her.
Rei shuffles through her bag for a moment before she takes my hand,
unclenching my fingers and placing the key in my palm. “Please, Zane.
Please.”
I close my eyes, trying to resist her pull, but it’s useless. She could ask
me to take my clothes off and dance on the bridge, and I’d do it. I’d do
anything she asked of me.
“Fine.”
Rei throws her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “Thank you,” she
whispers softly.
Rei lifts on the tips of her toes, pressing her mouth against mine. I place
my hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer.
Our mouths brush together in a desperate need for closeness. I slide my
tongue over her lower lip, dipping it into her mouth and deepening the kiss.
It’s a hard kiss. A desperate kiss. A kiss in which I’m hoping to convey
everything that’s inside me, without saying a word out loud. But also, in a
way, it feels like goodbye.
There is a knock on the window.
We break apart and look toward it to find her dad standing there and
tapping on his wrist. Rei glares at him before turning her back to the
window.
“Text me when you get home, okay?”
I slide my thumb over her cheek, her swollen lower lip, my throat
tightening. I nod once and force myself to pull back. I take two steps before
turning around and I don’t look back again.
OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Well, that went well.”
I turn around slowly and just stare at my father. He must feel my gaze,
because he turns around to face me, his hazel eyes meeting mine.
“What?”
What?
“Seriously?” I lift my brow. “That’s all you’ve got to say?”
That went well?
No, it most certainly did not. But it’s not like he cares.
All he cares about is that I talked to Mr. Richards and that he seemed
happy, even mentioned meeting with us later this week, after Christmas, so
we could discuss the details about the deal he wants to offer me.
When he doesn’t answer quickly enough, I shake my head and start
climbing the stairs. “I’m going to bed. It’s late and I’m tired.”
“What did I say?” he calls after me, but I don’t bother turning back.
“You can be so dense sometimes, Anthony,” Aunt Milly sighs from
downstairs.
“What did I do?” Dad asks, sounding completely baffled by the
prospect.
“You chased away the boy she brought home for you to meet. The only
boy she’s ever brought home.”
“That? You can’t be— Ouch! What was that for?”
“For being an idiot. Sometimes I honestly wonder how we’re related.”
“I was busy, what should I have done? Left my guests to go hang out
with my daughter’s friend?”
“Boyfriend. He’s her boyfriend, Anthony.”
“He’s just a boy. She should be concentrating on skating.”
“She’s been concentrating on skating her whole life. If you just looked
at her today—”
Their voices grow more distant with every step I take. I open the door to
my room and softly shut it behind me, shutting them out.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
Rubbing my eyes, I kill the engine, but don’t rush to get out. My body is
stiff from everything that has happened today, add on top of it driving for
hours in the snow and all I want to do is crash. Now if only I could get out
of the car.
I grab my phone from the passenger seat. Ignoring all the notifications, I
go straight to my messages.
Me: I’m home.
The bubbles appear almost immediately.
Rei: How was the drive?
Me: Long.
Rei: I miss you.
Rei: Wish you could be here. The bed feels so empty.
I chuckle, imaging her curled on her side, her hand tucked under her
head.
Me: Like that would ever happen. I think your dad would kill me
before allowing me to sleep in your room.
Rei: What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. ;)
Me: I didn’t realize I’m talking to a rule breaker, Pix.
Rei: Good. I like to keep you on your toes.
Boy does she ever. Everything that crossed my mind when we first met
has turned out to be false.
Me: I miss you too.
The front door opens and a dark figure walks out of the house.
Me: I have to go, Hayden’s up.
Rei: Talk soon?
Me: Talk soon.
Me: Night.
Rei: Night :* :*
I open the door and push myself out of the car. Too tired to bother with
my things, I simply lock the door and turn to face Hayden.
“What’re you doing here?” Hayden’s leaning against the doorframe, his
hands crossed over his chest.
“Long story.” I tilt my chin at him. “The better question is, what’re you
doing up at this hour?”
 Although the roads weren’t as packed on the way back, the overall
conditions were still shitty, making it hard to drive.
Hayden shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep.”
I nod, climbing the stairs to the porch and sitting down on the bench by
the door. The house sits covered in darkness behind us, the only sound a
hoot of the wind in the distance.
“I told Grams,” Hayden sighs, sitting down next to me.
“How did she take it?”
“Grams wasn’t thrilled. She insisted I should finish college before
joining a professional team, have a backup plan in case things backfire.”
“Always logical.”
“That she is,” Hayden chuckles. “But the thing is, I feel it. I feel it in my
bones. This is my year, Zane. My chance, and if I don’t take it, I’ll regret it
for the rest of my life.”
I can see where he’s coming from. Declaring eligibility to play
professionally is a tricky business. You have to find the right moment,
weighing it between your physical and mental readiness to go to the next
level and the eyes that are on you. You have to get physically ready for that
next level of training professional sports requires without staying back too
long and risking possibly injuring yourself.
There are so many things to consider, so many rules you need to follow.
“Then go for it. Grams will come around eventually.” I turn to the side.
“You know I have your back, right?”
“I do, but do you know I have yours?” Hayden faces me. “What
happened, Zane?”
I sigh and lean against the bench. Might as well get it all out now. “The
whole thing was a mess. She lives in this huge-ass house with a freaking
fence around it. You need a remote to enter. Her dad hates me, but of course
he loves her douchebag of a coach.”
“So you… what? Just stood up and left?”
I run my hand over my face, the exhaustion finally catching up to me.
“Basically. I didn’t want to put her in an even tougher spot than she already
was.”
Hayden’s face darkens, something like disappointment flashing in his
eyes. “Did she ask you to leave?”
“What? No, of course not.” I can still feel Rei’s arms tighten around me,
refusing to let go. “She wanted to come with me.”
 “So what? She asked you to come, and you left her there?”
“She had some sponsor waiting for her. You know how it is, or will
soon enough anyway. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, it was an
excellent opportunity for her. I won’t stand in the way of her dream.”
I would never forgive myself if Rei didn’t get on the team because of
me. She deserves to be there, not because of who she is, but because she has
been working her ass off.
“That’s some messed up shit.”
“Tell me about it.”
For a while, we just sit out there in the silence, watching the snow fall.
Hayden yawns. “I guess I better go inside. I still have to wake up early
and put in a workout before Grams starts with all the craziness.” He pushes
to his feet, his hand falling to my shoulder. “She’ll be happy to have you
here.”
I nod my head.
“You coming inside?”
“I think I’ll stay here for a moment longer.”
Hayden rubs his hands together. “Don’t stay too long, it’s freezing
outside.”
“Don’t worry.” I look out toward the darkness. “I’m used to it.”

OceanofPDF.com
REI
There’s a soft knock on the door, followed by, “Rei?”
I look up from my bed to see Dad standing in the doorway. He’s dressed
casually, in a pair of slacks and sweater. “You’re not coming down to eat?”
I turn my attention back to my laptop screen. I’ve been watching reruns
of Sailor Moon, one of my favorite ever animes, since I got here and I’m
currently on season two. Usagi is crying in the street after breaking up with
Mamoru. Her heartbreak fits my mood just fine.
“Not hungry.”
I expect him to leave the room, but instead he opens the door wider and
leans against the frame. We’ve been walking on eggshells around each other
for days, mostly keeping it amicable because of Aunt Milly and Uncle
Jonathan, but now that they’re gone, there’s no sense in pretending any
longer.
“Is this about that boy?”
“You’re just like Alexei.” I roll my eyes. “That boy has a name. It’s
Zane.”
Dad waves me off. “I know all about him and how you were late to
practice because of him.”
I grit my teeth, the sudden urge to punch Alex in the face growing
stronger by the second. Was he always like this and I just haven’t realized
it, or did this change happen recently?
“I was the one who was late. Because I went out with my girls the night
before, and I was the one who got drunk after a few shots. Notice
something there?”
Dad’s lips press in a disapproving line. “Besides the fact you were
drinking? Not only are you underage—”
“The hell with drinking!” I yell loudly, pushing off the bed. “It was me,
Dad. It was all me. My decisions. My choices. My mistake.” I place my
hand on the mattress, jabbing my finger with every sentence. “And I owned
up to it. But it was Zane who came to get me that night and made sure I got
home safe. It was Zane who drove me to practice when I realized I was late
and started to panic. And it was Zane who lay next to me when my whole
body was battered and bruised afterward because I’d overdone it. It was
Zane who realized I was hurting, Zane who worried I might have crossed
the line, not Alexei, who was too pissed at me to care. You didn’t even give
him a chance.” I shake my head, feeling the tears gather in my eyes. “Mom
would have been so disappointed in you, Dad.” I close my laptop, avoiding
his stare. “I know I am.”
Getting up, I grab my skates from the corner and head out. Dad doesn’t
even try to stop me.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Are you ever going to talk to me again?” Alexei asks as we enter
Blairwood.
With my eyes fixed out of the window, I’m watching the streets pass by.
The same thing I’ve spent the better part of this excruciatingly long drive
doing. I tucked the buds in my ears, but since I forgot to charge them, they
died on me halfway, so I’ve basically just pretended to be asleep for the rest
of the trip.
Apparently, Alexei knew that too.
“Not if I can avoid it.” My voice is raspy from lack of use, so I have to
clear my throat. I pull out my phone from the pocket of my hoodie.
Me: Almost here.
“And how do you think this coaching thing is going to work if we don’t
talk?”
“It worked out fine these last few days.” I look out the windshield,
narrowing my gaze so I can see through the snow falling. “Take a right
here.” I point at the street.
“That’s not the way to your dorm.”
I turn to him and raise my brow. I’m so over this. Why didn’t I take the
bus? Oh right, I wanted to, but neither Dad nor Alexei wanted to hear about
it. Dad was livid when he realized I lent Zane my car. Now I’m half
tempted to let him keep it.
“Fine.” I unbuckle my seatbelt. “You can leave me here, and I’ll walk
the rest of the way.”
Zane’s house isn’t that far, anyway.
Alex puts his hand over mine. “I’ll drive you. Just calm down.”
“I’m calm. It was your idea to drive me back to campus.”
“Because you let that b—” I glare at him, daring him to say it, but
Alexei thinks better of it. “You let him take your car.”
“I let him borrow my car so he could get home the night before
Christmas Eve, so he didn’t have to spend it in the company of people who
treat him like a nuisance.” I look out of the window, spotting Zane’s place.
“This is me.”
This time, I unbuckle the seatbelt and push open the door before he can
even register it. Just as I’m sliding out of the car, the front door opens, and
Zane appears on the front porch. He’s dressed in only a pair of gray sweats
and a black tee that stretches over his wide chest.
“I’ll see you in the rink later,” I throw over my shoulder before closing
the door.
Alex waits for me to pull my bags out of the trunk before driving away.
“Need help?”
I turn around and almost crash into Zane. His hands grip my hips,
steadying me.
“Hey.”
I smile for the first time today. Letting the bags drop to the ground, I
jump into Zane’s arms and kiss him. Zane catches me effortlessly, his arms
wrapping around me.
“I missed you,” I whisper as I pull back.
“I missed you too.”
“Did you have fun at home?”
Zane lets me slide down his body. He crouches down and picks up my
bags in one hand, while taking my hand with his free one.
“If you consider listening to lectures naming all the reasons why college
education is important and shouldn’t be taken for granted, or left
unfinished, sure. The food was good though.”
I turn around in the foyer and look at him. “Who’s dropping out of
college?”
A loud groan comes from behind me. I look over my shoulder and see
Hayden and Callie sitting in the living room and watching TV. “Nobody is
dropping out of college. I’m going to finish it through online classes. If I
even get drafted.”
A pillow flies through the air, but Hayden catches it just before it hits
him square in the face.
“Like hell there’s an if,” Nixon says. “You’re getting drafted, you
asshole. There’s no if about it.”
I look at Zane for some kind of explanation, but he just shrugs.
“You’re lucky I’m not superstitious. I’d strangle you all by now if I
was.”
“You? Not superstitious?” Callie looks over her shoulder at him. “Then
what the hell do you call wearing the same pairs of socks that you wore on
the day you guys won the championship last year every single game since?”
“Oh, so that’s what stinks in the locker room.”
 Hayden throws the pillow back at Nixon. “I wash them, you idiot.”
“Only because I threatened to throw them in the garbage if you didn’t
wash them.”
“Oh, now you’ve gone and done it.” Hayden tickles her and Callie
squirms in his arms, laughing and begging him to stop.
Zane leans down, his mouth pressing against my earlobe. “Want to get
out of here?”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
At first I think it’s the sound of an alarm that woke me, but I soon realize
that’s not it. Reaching up to the nightstand, I grab the still buzzing phone
and pick it up. “Yeah?”
“Z-Zane?”
“Darius?” I sit up in the bed, jolting Rei from her sleep. She winces
softly as she blinks her eyes open and looks at me with confusion.
“I didn’t know who else to call.” There’s a slight pause on the other end
of the line. “I need your help.”
My fingers grip my phone tighter as I hear him wince on the other side
of the line. “Text me the address and I’ll come and pick you up.”
Without waiting, I hang up and get out of the bed. I’ve been to the
community center a few times since that day I took Rei with me, but not as
much as I used to go in the past couple of years. I was actually there a few
days ago, played a game with the guys, gave them some pointers.
Everything seemed fine, normal.
Rei leans against her elbow, pushing her hair away from her face.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s Darius.” I grab my shirt from the chair and pull it on. “He’s in
some kind of trouble.”
Rei sits up and rubs at her eyes. “What kind of trouble?”
“Not sure.” I slide my feet into my shoes, struggling a bit to push them
since the laces are still tied. “He wouldn’t call if it wasn’t an emergency.”
“Okay, wait for me.” Rei pushes the covers away and starts to get up.
“What? You’re not going.”
Rei frowns. “Why not?”
“It’s late, and you have practice in the morning,” I reply automatically,
grateful for an excuse.
Rei rolls her eyes at me. “I’m awake already, and I’m not going to fall
back asleep, anyway.”
She pulls a pair of leggings out of her duffle and quickly slides them up
her legs. She puts on her bra, not even bothering to remove my shirt
beforehand, just slides it underneath it and clasps it.
“Ashton Heights isn’t a place you want to wander around.”
 Rei places her hands on her hips. “I won’t wander around. I’m going
with you. We’re going in, getting Darius and getting out, right?”
Stubborn woman.
Why does she have to be so rational? So kind?
I run my palm over my face. “Yeah, but…”
“No buts.” She comes to me and puts her hand over mine. “It’s two in
the morning and you just said he wouldn’t call if it weren’t important.
Besides, if you really think this place is so dangerous, you shouldn’t be
going there by yourself.”
“I’m familiar with Ashton Heights, I’ll be okay there.” I cup her cheek,
my finger sliding over her soft skin. “Please, go back to bed.”
I don’t want to fight with her. Not over this.
“How do you…”
“I grew up there.”
My words ring in the silent room. Rei’s mouth falls open in surprise.
“Before Grams took me in, I grew up in Ashton Heights, so I know
what I’m doing. Now, can you please go to bed? I’ll be back before you
know it.”
Those big brown eyes look at me with intensity. For a moment, I think
she’ll agree. For a moment, I hope I’ll manage to avoid this collision of past
and present, but I should have known better.
“Still, you shouldn’t be going on your own.” She grabs her phone from
the nightstand and turns to me. “So are we going or what?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Lock the door and don’t open it until I come back. If somebody bugs you,
you drive away. You hear me?” Zane’s gaze is hard, his tone serious as he
unbuckles his seatbelt.
What? He can’t be for real, can he?
“I’m not going to—” I start to protest, but his hard stare stops me.
“You drive away, Rei.” The words come out as a low growl. Zane’s jaw
is clenched tight, his voice hard.
I guess he can be for real, after all.
He’s been on edge ever since Darius called him. Ever since he admitted
this was the place he came from. The place he grew up in.
Did he think it mattered to me? Did he think I’d look at him differently
if I knew this?
Because this doesn’t change anything.
“Fine.”
Darius texted Zane the address just as we came out of the house and got
into Hayden’s truck. I wasn’t familiar with the address, but Zane wasn’t
surprised in the slightest.
Zane looks out at the darkness, his hand gripping the door handle so
tightly his knuckles turn white. “I’m going to grab Darius. It shouldn’t take
more than a few minutes.”
“Okay. I’ll be here.” Zane gives me a hard look, so I add quickly, “If
nobody comes around looking.”
Zane nods and opens the door, sliding out of his seat.
“Lock the door,” he mouths, and waits for me to do as he said before
turning away. His eyes scan the darkness before he joins the shadows.
A shiver runs through me, although the car is still on, and the heating is
turned to max. But it’s not the shitty heating that’s giving me the chills. It’s
this place. I don’t think I can even explain it.
This place is quiet, too quiet, and not in a let’s take a stroll and watch
the stars kind of way. There’s this unnatural stillness to it, as if at any
moment something bad will happen. The streets are dark and mostly empty,
but there are shadows clinging to every corner and I swear I can feel eyes
on me, even now.
This is the place Zane grew up in? The place Darius lives?
 It’s hard to imagine anybody living here, especially a little kid. What
must have their childhood been like, growing up?
I can’t even imagine it, but knowing this I can better understand some of
Zane’s reservations from before.
A movement from the corner of my eye catches my attention. I turn
around, searching the shadows. My heart is pounding in my chest, the wild
thump-thump-thump echoing in my eardrums.
You’re ridiculous, I chastise myself. It’s probably a cat or something.
Damn Zane and his warnings.
Shaking my head, I look out my window and almost scream.
“Holy shit, Zane!” I quickly unlock the door, my eyes falling to the guy
Zane’s supporting.
“Scoot over,” Zane says as soon as he pulls open the door.
The light flickers on, blinding me temporarily. I blink a couple of times
and do as he said. Zane helps Darius inside. He groans loudly when his
back touches the seat.
Vision clear, I finally get a chance to look at him. “What the hell
happened to you?”
“Hey, Skater Girl.” He smiles, his shut eye twitching from the
movement. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”
“Not as bad as it looks? Your whole face is one big bruise.”
I want to touch his face, wipe the blood that’s already dried in the corner
of his mouth, but I don’t know where to touch him that won’t cause him
pain. His lip is busted, one eye completely shut, while the other is half-
open. There’s a little gash on his right eyebrow, and that’s only what I can
see.
“Who did this to you?”
I look up at Zane, expecting an answer, but he closes the door and walks
around the hood of the truck. The light in the cabin doesn’t even have time
to die down before he opens the driver’s side door and gets in.
“Will somebody tell me what the hell happened?”
Darius nudges me with his elbow, which only makes him hiss. “C’mon,
don’t go crying on me now. I’ll have to beat your ass next time in the rink to
show you who’s the boss.”
“You think this is funny?”
He chuckles, but it soon turns into coughing. Darius presses his hand
against his ribs. “I would, if it didn’t hurt so much to laugh.”
 “Darius…”
“Calm down, Rei. We’ll get him to my place and have him patched up
in no time.”
“Patched up? We should go to—” Zane gives me a warning glare, and a
barely perceivable shake of his head. I press my lips together, but do as he
says.
I’m not sure what his deal is. We should go to the hospital so a real
professional can look at him because I’m pretty sure his ribs are at least
cracked if not broken. And then we should call the cops and have them find
whoever did this to Darius.
Instead, we go to Zane’s house. The drive there is quiet and I have to
admit that I breathe a sigh of relief when Zane drives us out of Ashton
Heights and back toward better-lit areas.
It’s almost three in the morning when Zane parks the car in front of the
house. We all get out, and Zane helps Darius walk inside.
I hurry up the steps and unlock the door for them, turning on the light
on my way to the living room, where Zane helps Darius sit on the couch.
I try my best not to flinch when I see Darius’s face in the bright light. If
I thought he looked bad before, it’s even worse now.
Inhaling deeply, I push my feelings to the side. “Do you have a first aid
kit?”
“It’s up in the bathroom. I’ll get it.”
Darius tries to sit upright on the couch. His breathing is ragged, sweat
coating his forehead.
I crouch down in front of him. “How bad is it? Really?”
“Not the worst I ever felt, but…” He shrugs.
I want to ask more questions, but don’t really think he’ll appreciate my
intrusion. “I’m going to go to the kitchen and grab a towel or something.
Can you get that shirt off? I want to check your ribs.”
“Getting me naked already? I don’t think Zane’ll like that.”
“Quit joking around.” I shake my head. “I’ll be back in a moment.”
I hurry toward the kitchen where I find a big plastic bowl which I fill
with hot water and, after digging through a few drawers, I find a fresh
towel. Just as I’m exiting the kitchen, Zane comes back downstairs.
“You should have waited for me.” He grabs the bowl out of my hand.
“I needed to do something.”
 In the living room Darius has just pulled off his shirt, tossing it on the
couch next to him. Zane places the bowl on the coffee table and I take a seat
next to Darius on the couch.
I dip the towel in the bowl, squeezing out the excess water before
placing it softly against the corner of Darius’s lip and wiping away the
blood. I repeat the process, cleaning off his face with slow, gentle
movements.
After a while, he asks, “You’re not going to ask what happened to me?”
“Are you going to tell me the truth?” I quirk my brow at him.
He seems to think about that for a moment, so I pick up the first aid kit
and shuffle through its contents until I find a butterfly bandage, which I
carefully place over the cut on his eyebrow.
“You should probably put some ice on that eye.” I look down at the
bruise on his side. “Probably that one too.”
“I’ll get it.” Zane gets up and exits the living room, leaving me alone
with Darius, who leans down against the couch.
“It was my stepdad,” he says after a moment of silence. “Got home late,
and drunk per usual. Then he got pissed because my baby sister started
crying. He wanted to beat something, so I gave him a reason for it to be
me.”
“Darius…”
Can a heart break for somebody you barely know? Because I think mine
just did.
Darius shakes his head, his hand falling over mine to give it a tight
squeeze.
“It’s okay.”
No, it’s definitely not.
How can it be fair that he lets somebody beat him so he can protect his
baby sister? In what world is that normal? But before I can say anything
else, Zane returns, so I keep my mouth shut as he checks and bandages
Darius’s chest. Darius’s face is twisted in pain as he does so, but he doesn’t
make a sound.
“Will you be okay sleeping here?” Zane asks once he’s done.
Darius leans against the couch, his breathing shallow and labored, his
eyes closed. “Sure thing, man. Thanks for letting me crash.”
Zane places his hand on Darius’s shoulder, giving him a soft squeeze.
“You know it.”
 Zane brings him a blanket and pillow from somewhere while I take the
bowl and all the other things back to the kitchen, which earns me a dirty
look from Zane.
Once settled, we say goodnight and climb upstairs to Zane’s room.
“Will he be okay?” I ask softly, not wanting to disturb anybody. I was
actually surprised we didn’t wake somebody up with all the noises we were
making.
“He’ll heal.”
I didn’t miss the fact that Zane avoided answering my question. Yes,
he’ll heal, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be okay.
“You grew up there,” I repeat his earlier confession, carefully watching
his reaction.
Even when he said it earlier, he didn’t elaborate. Zane rarely tells me
anything about himself from before he joined his chosen family. It’s like
that life for him didn’t even exist. Are the memories too painful for him to
deal with, and he just wants to forget? Or is there something else to the
whole situation? Something that he doesn’t want to share?
I gauge his reaction, waiting for… I’m not even sure what.
“I did.”
“Why don’t you talk about it?”
I want to know him, all sides of him, that made him the man he is. The
man I’m falling in love with. But Zane just shakes his head.
“Some things are better left in the past.” Zane takes my hand and pulls
me toward the bed. “C’mon, let’s get to sleep. You have to get up in like an
hour to get to practice.”
But we don’t fall asleep, instead we slide between the covers, Zane’s
arms wrapped around me, and when I turn around to face him, his lips
brush against mine.
The kiss starts slowly at first, but soon turns desperate, our hands
wander, and any thought of sleep is gone as we let go of the past and lose
ourselves in each other’s arms.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Hey, man.” Darius rasps his finger over my doorframe, drawing my
attention. “Thanks so much for letting me crash.”
“You sure you want to go?” I put my books in the backpack and pull the
zipper shut before giving him my full attention. “You can stay here for a
few more days. The guys won’t mind.”
Darius looks even worse today than he did last night. Not that that’s
unexpected. The ice helped a little with the swelling, but the bruises are
darker than before.
Even before I finish, Darius is already shaking his head no. “I have to
go back, check in on Mom and Tracy. Mom got home after shit went down
and I sent her to my room and told her to lock it behind her but…”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Darius shrugs, the motion making him wince. He covers his side with
his hand, and I really hope I was correct and the ribs are just cracked, not
broken. “Damn, I guess I have to call the coach and tell him I’ll be out for a
while, huh?”
The disappointment in his voice is clear. He loves that sport and is
freaking good at it too. The fact that it keeps him out of trouble, both on the
streets and from home, is just a bonus.
“You have to be careful, you know that? I know you worry about your
family but…”
Darius’s face turns grim. “I’m not letting him put a finger on Tracy, or
Mom for that matter.”
“Did you try talking to her? Tell her he’s going to get you all in
trouble?”
Darius’s dad died when he was just a few years old, and for the last
couple of years his mom has been dating this douchebag who’s been
beating her up. Well, at least the times when Darius didn’t step in.
“She doesn’t want to listen, Z.” Darius pounds his fist against the
doorway, clearly agitated by the whole situation. “I keep telling her to ditch
his ass and the three of us could go. I’d find a job. We’d find a way to make
it, but she never listens.”
I place my hand on his shoulder. “Keep trying.”
 He squints through his less bruised eye at me, the desperation clear in
his voice when he says, “I have to keep them safe.”
It hits me then that he’s just a seventeen-year-old guy taking on the
world to keep his family safe. At least I didn’t have anybody else to worry
about, but he has a responsibility no kid should ever have.
“You’re doing great. Just… try to remember you need to stay in one
piece in order to protect them, okay?”
Darius sniffs, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand and nods.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Want me to drive you back?”
I’d probably be late for my class, but I don’t like the idea of Darius
walking around looking like this all on his own.
“Do you have time?”
“Sure. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”
I grab my backpack and throw it over my shoulder before closing the
door to my room. We descend the stairs slowly. Darius is all stiff, but I
don’t hurry him along or offer to help him. He looks around the empty first
floor. “Where’s Rei?”
I put on my shoes and grab a jacket. “She had practice in the morning.”
After we had sex, we just stayed lying in the bed together until her
alarm went off. Although she protested, I took her to the rink. I didn’t like
her walking around campus alone before the sun came up.
The truck is parked in front of the house where I left it earlier. Hayden
and Nixon usually carpool together since they go to the gym and Callie had
an early class, so they took her to campus too.
We slide into the truck. I turn the key and the engine protests for a
moment, but finally starts.
“Bummer.” Darius turns to me. “She’s amazing, you got so lucky with
her.”
Don’t I know that.
“She’s amazing,” I agree, pulling out onto the road.
“I still can’t believe you let her come with you.”
“It’s not like I had a choice.”
Darius smirks. “Has you wrapped around her finger, doesn’t she?”
“More like she’s just stubborn.”
Too stubborn for her own good. Something that could one day get her in
trouble.
 “She’s bossy, I’ll give you that. But she seems like a nice girl.”
“She is.”
Too nice to be pulled into shit like this.

I bump my shoulder into Chris’s, stealing the puck from him. My heart is
pumping wildly and I can hear the echo of my heartbeat in my eardrums.
He curses as I skate around him, my hands gripping tightly onto the stick.
I look up, taking in the rink in one quick sweep of my eyes. Spencer is
open, so I send him the puck just as Chris pulls me back. I shove him into
the Plexiglass, turning around and catching up to the guys.
Xander has the puck, the D-man on his ass. He spots me and sends the
puck flying. It lands on the tip of my stick, leaving me and our backup
goalie, Mac. I pull the stick back and send the puck flying straight into the
net.
Coach blows the whistle. “Good game, guys. I want you to play like this
tomorrow night. Boston University won’t know what hit them.”
Coach dismisses us, making sure to give some individual tips as we
leave the ice, as he always does.
He claps me on the shoulder as I pass by. “Want to see that fire on the
ice tomorrow, West.”
I nod, exiting the rink. That won’t be hard, not given—
“Nice game, hotshot.”
I look up and see Rei leaning against the wall, a smile on her face. My
heart squeezes at the sight of her. She is so beautiful it hurts to look at her.
“What are you doing here?”
Rei pushes off the wall and starts walking toward me. “I might have
hurried to finish up in the gym so I could catch you on the ice.”
She stops right in front of me, the tips of her boots touching my skates,
and wraps her hands around my middle. “I wish I could come to more of
your games, you’re so good out there on the ice.”
“I’m all sweaty,” I protest, pulling the helmet off my head and letting it
fall by my side.
“So am I.” Rei grins. “No time for a shower, but I did get to see the last
five minutes on the ice, so I count that as a win.” She runs her finger over
my chest. “But if you want to, we could go back to my pla—”
“Yo, West!” I look up at the sound of my name, thankful for the
interruption. “You have time… Oh sorry, man, didn’t realize you were
occupied.”
I look over my shoulder at Xander, who’s still standing in the rink.
“What’s up?”
“Just wanted to see if you’d be up for going over that play a few more
times, but you’re busy. It’s cool.”
I look down at Rei, who’s already taking a step back. “Go.”
“You sure? It’ll be just a few minutes, I promise.”
“Yeah. I don’t mind watching you play a little longer.” She gives me a
little push in the chest and starts walking away. “Go kick some ass.”
I nod and walk away to join the guys.
A few more minutes.
In the end, it takes us twenty minutes and going over the play ten more
times before calling it quits. All the time, my eyes keep going to the
bleachers where Rei is sitting and watching us. No matter how much I try, I
can’t keep my eyes off her.
“Thanks for staying. I know you had other plans,” Xander says later in
the locker room.
I zip up my jacket and throw my duffle over my shoulder. “It’s not a
problem. Try to rest, you’re doing good out there, and the coach knows it.”
“Thanks.”
With another nod, I leave the locker room and walk outside.
Rei looks up from her phone when she hears the door squeak open. She
finishes typing something and shoves the phone in her pocket.
“All done?”
“All done,” I confirm, taking her duffle and adding it to mine. “You
walked here?”
She rolls her eyes. “The gym isn’t that far.”
I steer her toward the parking lot and pull the key out of my pocket.
“I’m here with Hayden’s truck. Had to take Darius back home earlier.”
Rei stops walking and turns toward me, her eyes wide. “You took him
back? Why would you do that?”
I continue walking, not wanting to see the look of betrayal on her face.
“He wanted to go back and I couldn’t exactly tie him to the couch.”
 Rei hurries after me. “Maybe you should have. What if something
happens to him? What if…”
I unlock the car and open the door, throwing our stuff inside, before
turning to face her. “Darius’s a big guy, Rei. He knows how to take care of
himself.”
“Oh, I’ve seen how he knows to take care of himself, all right.” Sarcasm
drips from her voice. Rei runs her hand through her hair and lets it fall by
her side with a loud smack.
What does she want me to say? Did I like it? No. Could I have changed
his mind? No. I didn’t even want to try because I knew what his answer
would be.
I knew his reasons.
Reasons Rei will never understand.
Reason I never want her to understand, and that’s the exact reason why I
should have left her alone in the first place.
We stare at each other for a while, neither of us saying anything.
“Let me get you home.”
For a moment I think she might say no, but instead she just nods and
climbs into the truck. I close the door after her and walk around to the
driver’s side.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out, only to see an unknown
number on the screen. I hang up and push it back inside.
The radio comes to life when I turn on the truck, the soft music the only
thing filling the silence between us as I drive through the quiet campus
streets to her dorm.
I glance toward the passenger side. Rei’s looking out the window, lost in
thought, so I let her.
It takes me a few minutes to get to the other side of campus and park the
truck. Without saying a word, I get out and Rei does the same, her bag in
her hand.
“I’m sorry about yelling at you earlier. I know it’s not your fault. I’m
just worried about him.”
Of course she’s worried. She has the kindest heart I’ve ever seen. She’d
probably pick up a homeless person off the street and invite them into her
house.
She chose me, for fuck’s sake.
Out of all the people, she chose me.
 But I can’t let her do that.
Alexei was right, I’m not good for her. And sooner or later, something
will happen, and she’ll be caught in the crossfire.
I should stop this. Before it’s too late, I should stop this.
I clench my fingers into fists, my palms sweaty. The inevitability of
what has to happen hanging over me.
“Zane?” Rei moves closer, her fingers slipping under my chin and
tilting my head up. Those warm, trusting brown eyes looking at me with
worry. “What’s wrong?”
Everything.
Everything’s wrong.
But instead of saying that, I clear my throat. “I think we should end
this.”
Rei blinks slowly, a frown appearing between her brows as she goes
over my words. “What are you talking about?”
“I think we should end this.” I point at the space between the two of us.
“Us.”
“What?” Rei takes a step back, her hand falling down by her side.
“Why?”
“Why?” I chuckle, but there’s no humor in the sound. “Can’t you see?
We come from two different worlds, Rei. I don’t belong to yours and I don’t
ever again want to see you this close to mine.”
“Is this about me going with you to get Darius? I don’t care where you
come from, Zane. I don’t care who your parents are or…”
“But I care!” I yell, stopping her mid-sentence. “Dammit, Rei. I care!
People around us care. They see us together and they wonder how the hell
did we end up together, what can those two have in common? And they’re
right.”
“I don’t care about other people. And they’re wrong, anyway. We have
so much in common.” Rei places her hand on my forearm, her nails digging
into my skin, but I welcome the bite of pain. “We both love our friends and
families. We’re both skaters. We’re both trying to show the world that there
is so much more to us than what meets the eye. But, even if that weren’t the
case, I love you, Zane. I’m in love with you. Isn’t that enough?”
The sadness in her voice kills me. I want to go to her, wrap my arms
around her and tell her it will all be all right, but it would be a lie. We’ve
been fooling ourselves into believing this could actually work. We were
never supposed to happen. The guy from the wrong side of the tracks
doesn’t suddenly get a girl who’s used to skating under the bright lights.
So instead of doing what every atom of my body screams for me to do, I
do the opposite.
“It’s not enough.” I shake my head, disentangling her fingers from my
skin. “You might think this isn’t for the best, but one day, you’ll realize I
was right.”
“Don’t you dare tell me how to feel!” Rei wraps her arms around her
middle. Protecting herself. From me.
My fingers clench into fists by my sides, lips pressing in a tight line.
How can she not see this is for the best?
No matter how much this is killing me from the inside out, I’m doing
this for her. Because I know what she’s capable of, and I don’t want to be a
reason that’ll drag her down.
It’s better this way, I try to remind myself. This pain in my chest, it’ll go
away. It’s better than the lifetime of people saying hurtful things to her, both
to her face and behind her back, because she chose the guy from Ashton
Heights instead of some preppy kid. Somebody like fucking Alexei.
“I should g—”
Rei shakes her head no, tears glistening in her eyes under the light of the
street lamp, as I take a step back.
“Why the fuck aren’t you answering your phone?!” Candie’s hissing
voice breaks through our little bubble.
Every muscle in my body tightens as warning bells ring in my head. I
turn around to find my agitated mother standing behind me, glaring at me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, looking around, but the parking lot is
otherwise empty.
“When I heard you’d come to Ashton Heights, I figured you came to
give me money!”
“I told you, I don’t have money,” I say through gritted teeth. How many
times do I have to say it in order to get it into her head?
“Zane?” Rei’s soft voice breaks through to me.
I turn around to find her watching me with confusion. “What’s going
on?” Her eyes shift from me to Candie. “Who’s that?”
Candie looks at Rei, calculation gleaming in her eyes. “You might not,
but your friend sure does.”
 Candie’s threat from a few months ago rings in my mind. She starts to
walk around me, but I grab her by the elbow and pull her back.
“Go inside, Rei,” I say, not moving my eyes from Candie.
“Not going to introduce your mom to your girlfriend?” Candie tsks as I
pull her away, creating some distance between the two of them. “I thought I
raised you better.”
“You didn’t raise me.”
Candie’s eyes narrow, but at least her attention is on me. “Of course not.
I just took care of you and fed you for the first sixteen ye—”
She sucks in a breath as I tighten my hold on her, twisting her hand
harder in a silent warning. “You didn’t do shit, let’s not pretend otherwise.”
“But that bitch who took you in did?” Candie spats.
“Leave Grams out of this.”
“Grams?” She chuckles, but there’s almost a lunatic tone to it. “How
cute. If it weren’t for that stupid bi—”
“Don’t talk about her like that.”
I never understood what Candie’s deal with Grams was. Why she hated
her as much as she did.
“And why not?” Candie gets in my face, jabbing the finger of her free
hand into my chest. “Do you think she cares? Do you think she loves you?
Don’t be an idiot, Zane. She didn’t take you in because of the kindness of
her heart.”
What the hell is she talking about?
Candie laughs when she sees the frown on my face. “What? Didn’t you
ever ask her why she did it? Never wondered why, out of all the little boys
out on the streets, she took you in? Oh, this is precious.” Candie’s laughter
turns maniacal to the point tears run down her face. She brushes them away,
her face turning serious, cunning, making my stomach twist uncomfortably.
Whatever she’s about to say, I won’t like it one bit. “Like the old bat wanted
to foster some Black kid from Ashton Heights. She did it to placate her
conscience so she can die in peace one day, knowing she did at least one
thing right for her grandson.”
I let go of her hand like it burned me.
Grandson?
Stumbling back, I shake my head. “You’re lying.”
“Am I?” Candie quirks a brow, a twisted smile curling her lips. “Go
ahead. Ask her. We’ll see what she tells you.”
 She can’t be serious. No, it can’t be. It’s just another game Candie likes
to play to get what she wants.
Grams would say something. If she knew, she would have said
something to me. She wo—
“Zane?”
I look down to find Rei’s hand on mine. I almost forgot she’s here.
“What’s going on?” She looks tentatively at Candie, a worried
expression crossing her face. Even after everything, she’s still worried
about me. “What is she talking about?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
Not going to introduce your mom to your girlfriend?
That’s his mother?
I look between the two of them, still not quite grasping what the hell
just happened.
I think we should end this.
Zane broke up with me, and then she showed up. His mother.
The woman’s cunning eyes meet mine, but there’s something jittery
hiding beneath the surface. Her curly black hair is wild, her dark eyes wide
as she looks over her shoulders like she expects somebody to show up.
“Zane?” I try again, my hand reaching for his face.
I concentrate on him, only him, waiting, hoping for something. Some
kind of answer. An explanation. A denial. Anything.
I think we should end this.
But there’s nothing.
His face is completely unreadable as he stares at me. His words are still
ringing in my mind as if a bucket of ice water was poured over me.
If only I could touch him, maybe all this will go away. Just like one
really bad dream.
There’s a slight curse from the woman standing next to Zane.
His mother.
Why wouldn’t he say something? I didn’t even realize she was in the
picture. That she’s been around asking him for money. What kind of mother
does that?
I try to listen in, but their voices are hushed; words fired rapidly at one
another like they’ve done this before. I think she mentions Grams. But what
about her?
“Hey, you!” a hard voice shouts. “Stop.”
Zane’s eyes go wide, a fear like I’ve never seen before reflecting in his
green irises. The woman dashes for the shadows before I can blink, and we
both look up to see two police officers coming our way, hands on their
guns.
Zane curses silently, taking a step in front of me. His whole body is
tense as he faces the police officer, his hands lifted in the air.
Why are his hands lifted in the air?
 “We’re just talking,” he says calmly, but I can hear a slight tremble in
his voice.
“You okay, miss?”
“I’m fine.” I slowly step next to Zane. They give me a quick glance
before turning their attention back to Zane, their faces hardening if only
slightly. The uneasy feeling in my stomach grows, making the bile rise in
my throat. “Is there a problem?”
The taller one nods. “Please take a step back, miss.”
“What?” I look from one cop to the other. “Why?”
Why are their guns still out? What the hell is going on here?
“Miss, take a step back.”
“I don’t…”
“Do as they say, Rei,” Zane says, his voice low. If I thought he was
emotionless before, it has nothing on the emptiness I can hear in his tone
now.
Swallowing, I do as asked. There is a commotion behind me, hushed
voices murmuring something, but I don’t dare turn around. Don’t dare to
move my eyes from Zane.
“Can somebody explain to me what’s going on? We were just
talking…”
One cop, the older one, nods to the second.
“Do you know that woman that was just here?” the older guy asks, his
eyes still on Zane as his colleague moves closer.
“No, I—”
“Turn around and place your hands on the wall,” the younger guy says.
My heart aches as Zane does as asked, his face a mask of stillness. “Is
that really necessary?”
“Yes. What were you talking about with that woman?”
“I don’t know. We,” I motion to Zane and me, “we were just talking,
and she showed up out of nowhere. What is going on?”
The last question comes out harsher than necessary. But if I don’t get an
answer soon, I’m going to scream.
The cops don’t pay me any attention. The younger one starts patting
Zane down and I can feel bile rise in my throat.
This isn’t right. He did nothing wrong.
Zane turns to me. “Rei, go inside.”
“I’m not leaving you!”
 “Rei…”
“What do we have here?” the cop asks, a smugness in his tone that
wasn’t there before.
I watch in horror as he pulls two bags of white powder out of Zane’s
pocket and lifts them in the air for closer inspection under the light.
“That’s not his,” I protest instantly.
“It came out of his pocket.”
“He’s not doing drugs!”
The cop chuckles. “That’s what they all say.”
I curl my fingers into fists, but Zane just shakes his head. I’ve never
seen him so resigned as he is in this moment.
The cop puts the handcuffs on him. Zane’s eyes fall shut as the
resounding click rings with finality, resignation oozing from every pore of
his being. My hand flies to my mouth as the cop harshly pulls at Zane’s
bound hands and starts leading him away.
Why is this happening? Why don’t they trust me?
“Where are you taking him?” I ask them.
“Rei?”
“What’s going on?”
Grace and Jade appear by my sides, matching worried expressions on
their faces, but I ignore them, going for the cop. “Where are you taking
him?” I ask once again.
“To the station. We want to ask him a few questions.”
“Can’t you do it here?” I insist. “This is all just a misunderstanding.”
A misunderstanding of epic proportions, but still.
I’m not sure what the older guy sees in me, but whatever it is, it makes
his face soften, if only a little bit. Still, he shakes his head. “I’m afraid not.”
“Take me with you then.” I place my hand on his to prevent him from
leaving. “I was here too. All of this is one big misunderstanding…”
He gently pulls his hand out of my grasp. “That isn’t how this works,
miss.”
A sob rips out of my throat as I watch the two police officers lead Zane
to the police cruiser that’s parked a little further down the road and shove
him into the back seat.
He doesn’t look my way, not even once. His gaze is fixed forward,
blank and lifeless.
What now? I wrap my arms around myself. What the hell should I do?
 I look around. It’s still relatively early, and some people are standing out
on the street looking at me. Waiting to figure out what’s happened so they
can go gossip about it to their friends.
“Dammit!” I stomp my foot so hard my phone falls out of my pocket.
“What is going on?” Jade asks, as they join me once again.
Grace crouches down and picks up my phone, wiping the snow from the
device before handing it to me. “We were just coming back from Moore’s
when we saw the commotion.” She looks at the spot where the police car
was just moments earlier. “What happened? Why did they take him?”
“I don’t know.” I run my fingers through my hair. “We were talking.
Zane…” My throat is suddenly too dry. I try to wet my lips, but it’s useless.
“Zane broke up with me.”
“What?!”
“Why?”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t even matter.” Nothing else matters except
getting him out of there. “Then this woman showed up, and they talked
about something for a while before the cops appeared.”
If somebody finds out he’s been in jail, if he gets a record, they’ll take
away his scholarship, hockey, everything… The game. He has a game
tomorrow that he needs to play.
“Do you know her?”
“No, I’ve never seen her before. But Zane knew her.”
I don’t elaborate. If Zane didn’t tell me about his mother, I doubt he told
anybody else or that he’d want them to know.
“What are we going to do?”
They continue talking, but I’m not listening. I look at the phone I’m still
clenching in my hand. My throat closes up, my breathing turns shallow, and
for a moment I wonder if I’ll faint.
I can’t do anything. I’m virtually powerless. They didn’t let me go with
him. They didn’t tell me where they’re taking him. There’s nothing I can do
to help.
But there is one person who can.
I unlock my phone; the photo of Zane and me at the rink stares back at
me, ripping what little’s left of my heart.
I love him. No matter what he said, or did. I love him.
For him, I’d do anything.
 I wipe the tear that slipped down my cheek with the back of my hand,
and call the familiar number.
The phone rings three times before he picks up.
“Rei?” he asks, the worry clear in his voice.
That’s when I finally break.
“I need your help, Daddy.”
We barely talked during the holidays, but he’s the only person who I
know can help me.
The question is, will he want to help Zane?

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
Like the old bat wanted to foster some Black kid from Ashton Heights,
Candie’s voice rings in my mind. She did it to placate her conscience so she
can die in peace one day, knowing she did at least one thing right for her
grandson.
The metal door closes with a bang, snapping me out of my thoughts, the
loud click echoing in the space as the key turns. My stomach clenches as the
walls around me start to close in, and for a moment, I think I might puke.
I blink, his face coming into focus. It’s the younger guy, the one that
was all too happy to pat me down and put handcuffs on me.
“Better get comfy, kid,” he says, the corner of his mouth lifted in a
smug grin.
“What about my phone call?”
I have a right to a phone call. Even though I’m not sure who I’d call.
Hayden? Yeah, right. Not after the bomb Candie just dropped on me. Does
he know too? Do they all know it except me? I shake my head. Later, I’ll
deal with this later. Some of my teammates? The last thing I need is for this
to get to the coach.
Yeah, like that’s possible.
“A phone call?” He looks around. “I don’t know, I asked you, and you
said you weren’t interested.”
The need to punch something is overwhelming, but I’m not going to
give them the satisfaction of losing my cool.
“That’s bullshit. Those drugs weren’t mine. You can test me, and you’ll
see I’m clean.”
He pretends to think about it, and finally shrugs. “Sorry, the lab’s not
working this late. Small town and all that.” He turns toward the door.
“Guess you’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning to see the judge.”
Fucking hell. Fucking Candie.
Only when he’s out of sight do I let my head drop. My hands curl
around the metal bars, gripping them tightly.
Out of all the fucking things she could do…
I should have known she’d pull crap like this, but I’ve been too
immersed in Rei to pay attention and now I’m completely screwed.
 Swallowing the yell, I push against the bars. Turning on the balls of my
feet, I take in the small, cramped space. There isn’t much to it. Just one low
bench against the wall, and that’s it.
Sighing, I sit down and lean my back against the wall.
Screwed.
I’m completely and totally screwed.
People were out there, so they saw the whole thing happen. Some kind
of story probably started circulating before the cruiser pulled away from the
street.
I’ll most likely lose my scholarship.
My spot on the hockey team.
Get kicked out of school.
Rei.
Rei was there, and she saw the whole thing play out. This. This was
exactly the kind of thing I was telling her about. Now she’ll know what
she’s really getting into by being with me. Why we’d never work out in the
long run. Why she should run hard and fast in the other direction.
My eyes fall shut, and I tilt my head back. It bangs against the wall
behind me.
And that’s the moment when the other issue that I put aside comes back
to the front of my mind.
She did it to placate her conscience so she can die in peace one day,
knowing she did at least one thing right for her grandson.
Was Candie really telling the truth? With her, you can never really
know. She likes to play games, but that doesn’t mean all she says is true. It’s
just her way of fucking with you to mess with your mind.
But what if it is true? What does it mean exactly?
I’m not sure how long I sit in the cell, my mind working overtime as I
try to put everything together, when I hear the sound of footsteps and
muffled voices approaching. The older guy returns, this time with a woman
dressed in a dark business suit. She waits as he unlocks the door to my cell.
“You’re free to go, kid.”
“What?” I look between the two of them. “How?”
Didn’t that asshole just say I’d have to wait for the judge in the
morning?
I stand up, my feet feeling wobbly, holding my weight.
 The woman extends her hand, and I take it. “My name is Julie Barret.
I’m here on behalf of Mr. Mitchell. I took a look at your case. Thankfully, I
have a friend in the college administration so I managed to—”
She continues talking, but I don’t hear half of her explanation.
Rei.
Rei did this for me. After everything that happened, everything that I
said, she did this for me.
“I don’t have the money to pay you,” I blurt out, not even sure if she
finished. But Ms. Barret doesn’t bat an eyelash.
“It’s already been taken care of. You’re free to go, Mr. West.”
I take a tentative step out of the cell, drying my sweaty palms against
the sides of my thighs.
“No charges?”
“No charges. As I explained, the Blairwood campus area is covered
relatively well by cameras. The ones across the street from where you were
standing captured the moment the drugs were put in your pocket. The
quality is not the best, but based on the general description of the physical
appearance, we managed to determine who’s who.”
I nod slowly, still trying to process everything that has happened.
“A piece of advice, Mr. West?”
I look up and find the lawyer surveying me. Her serious hazel eyes
compliment the bronze of her smooth skin. She’s young, probably fresh out
of college, but carries herself with confidence twice her age. “I’d stay clear
of Candie West.”
“She isn’t really happy at being ignored,” I say dryly, remembering all
the missed calls and messages over the last few months.
Mrs. Barret presses her lips together. “I didn’t think she was.”
“What did she do now?”
“Apart from breaking her parole?” She raises her brow. “She apparently
got mixed up with Frankie again.”
At the sound of the familiar name, I do a double take. Frankie was
Candie’s boyfriend before she ended up in jail. It was actually his fault she
started messing with selling drugs and ended up in prison in the first place.
Some things really never change.
“Know anything about him?”
“I’ve heard of him.”
 All Ashton Heights knows about Frankie, and if you have an ounce of
self-preservation you don’t want to get in his path.
“Then you see my point. I have to go take care of some paperwork, but
you’re good to go.”
“Thank you so much.”
She chuckles. “Thank me by not getting yourself in here again.”
“I’ll try my best.”
Together we walk down the hallway and back into the main room. The
snotty police officer from before gives me the side-eye, but doesn’t
comment further as I leave the police station.
Asshole.
As soon as I step out of the door, I inhale deeply, letting the fresh, icy
air enter my lungs. I let out a long sigh, but as soon as I look down, all the
relief washes away. “What are you doing here?”
Alexei Dmitriev pushes away from the wall, his arms crossed over his
chest. He’s clearly been waiting for me.
As if this day wasn’t enough of a shitshow.
“We have to talk.”
I descended the stairs. “No, we most definitely don’t.”
He’s the last person I want to talk to. Right now, or at all. But especially
right now, when we’re still in front of the police station. I still want to
punch him for getting that bruise, no matter how unintentionally, on Rei.
And that punch would probably lead me straight back into the dog’s cage.
I’m not sure Ms. Barret would like that much.
I start to walk around him, but he gets in my way.
“I said, back off.”
“Not until you listen to what I have to say.”
Shoving his hand away, I continue walking. “There’s nothing we have
to say to each other.”
“Stay away from Rei.”
His words stop me in my tracks. My hands clench into fists by my side.
It would be so freaking easy to turn around and shut him up with my fist.
“You’re not good enough for her.”
I scoff.
Like I don’t know that.
“And you think you are?” I spat, looking at him over my shoulder.
The dude doesn’t even blink. “That’s beside the point.”
 “Is it really?” I challenge.
He’s into her. I know it. He’s been into her probably as long as he’s
known her. Who can blame him? On paper, they’re a perfect match. A
power couple people would look up to.
He’s not right for her, every cell in my body screams at me.
He doesn’t know her. Not the way I do. He doesn’t know her secret
smiles. He doesn’t know her kisses, or the way she feels in my arms. He
doesn’t know the taste of her skin, or that happy little sigh she lets out every
time we touch.
“Yes,” Alexei grits through clenched teeth. “Rei doesn’t need shit like
this in her life. Not when she’s this close to Nationals. Not when in a few
months she’ll be competing in Worlds to get her chance to skate at the
Winter Games.”
I turn around and storm up to him until we’re standing toe to toe. “You
think I don’t know that? You don’t think I know she deserves far better than
some punk kid from Ashton Heights?
Alexei doesn’t even flinch. “Then let her go.”
This time, I shove him away. “I already have.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
Alexei didn’t even try to stop me, which worked out just fine. If he’d tried
to get in my way, I’m pretty sure I’d have punched him in the face.
Consequences be damned.
Since I didn’t have anything on me when the cops arrested me, I just
walk aimlessly back to campus, my mind working a hundred miles a
minute.
I’m not sure how long I walked, or even how I got here, but the next
thing I know, I’m in front of Rei’s dorm. The campus is quiet, which is
unusual.
My eyes dart toward the fourth floor. From here, I’m not sure which
window is hers. They’re just a mass of rectangles on the walls, some lights
turned on, some off.
Is she awake? Did somebody tell her I got out? Does she even want to
know? Or does she want nothing to do with me after what happened?
I shake my head. Not like it matters, we’re done. We were never
supposed to be in the first place.
I look away and go to the parking lot where the truck is still parked and
waiting for me. The key is still in the ignition, just like I left it, so I slide
inside, turning on the engine.
A passing glance at my phone tells me I have a dozen messages and
missed phone calls waiting for me, but I ignore them all.
I have to know the truth.
The drive to Grams’s is a blur. I’m not sure if it’s safe for me to drive in
the state I’m in right now, but the fuck if I care.
Grams.
Oh, the irony. In the beginning she was Mrs. Watson, but after some
time, especially after Hayden and I moved in, she told me to call her Grams.
After all, that’s what everybody calls her.
I never questioned it. Never asked her why.
Was it all just a coincidence?
Or was it all a lie?
The house is dark when I pull to a stop, but it doesn’t stop me. Killing
the engine, I get out of the car, walk up the steps and start pounding against
the door.
 After a minute the light turns on inside and I can hear the sound of
footsteps moving closer. There’s a slight pause before the door pulls open.
“Zane?” Grams asks, clearly confused. “Why in God’s name—”
“Is it true?” I ask, my breathing ragged.
She frowns, pulling the fluffy robe tighter around herself. “Is what
true?”
“Are you my grandmother?”
Her eyes go wide, mouth falling open. “H-how…”
I turn my back to her, digging my fingers into my hair. “Fucking hell.”
It’s true.
Candie wasn’t lying.
It’s fucking true.
She knew it. She fucking knew it all along.
“How long?” I grit through my clenched teeth, barely getting the words
out.
“S-since the first time.”
I turn around and glare at her. “Did you ever plan to tell me?”
“Zane, I—” She touches my arm, but I pull it away quickly.
“Did you ever plan to tell me? Yes or no?”
“I don’t know!” she cries out, wrapping her arms around herself. “I
wanted to, I really did, but it was never the right time.”
“Is there ever a right time to tell somebody his entire life has been a lot
of bullshit?”
“No, but this wasn’t just about me. I tried to protect you. I—”
“Don’t you dare pretend this was about me!” I point my finger at her.
“Don’t you dare.”
“I wanted to give him time. I thought he’d change, but…”
“Who?”
Who is my father?
“Kevin,” she whispers softly, her eyes falling shut. “It’s Kevin.”
For the second time today, I stumble back, the railing stopping me from
tumbling off the porch.
It’s Kevin. Kevin, who can barely look at me for five seconds straight.
Kevin, who took me under his wing. Kevin, who barely spoke a few words
to me. Kevin, who gave me a job when I needed it.
Kevin.
My father.
 Would I feel better or worse if I knew it was Hayden’s dad?
I guess I’ll never know.
“I tried my best to get my two boys on their feet, taught them how to be
good and honest… some days I still wonder where I went wrong.”
“You’re wasting your time if you’re trying to make me feel sorry for
you.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me. I’m trying to give you
some perspective.”
“Good, because I’m not sorry. You should have said something from the
beginning. I had a right to know.”
“I’m sorry, Zane. I did what I thought was right. For all of us.”
“Well, you thought wrong.”
I look up at the house that has become my home in the past few years. A
woman who I thought saved me. A woman I came to care for, a woman I
came to love for all the things she did for me.
Lie. Lie. Lie.
Each one falling more heavily on my chest until I can’t breathe
anymore.
“I have to get out of here,” I wheeze out.
She yells after me, but I don’t bother to stop and listen. Not anymore.

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Can you sit down? You’re making my head spin,” Jade asks from her place
on the couch.
“I can’t!” I say, pacing once again from one side of the room to the
other. “What if they don’t let him out?”
It’s been hours. Hours since I called my Dad and asked him for help. I
didn’t actually believe he’d do it, but I had to at least call and ask. He was
the only person I knew who could help me with something like that. If he
wouldn’t do it, I didn’t know who else to even ask. You know, short of
going to the station in town and demanding somebody tell me something.
But he surprised me. I’m not sure if it’s that last talk we had, or if he
knew I’d do something stupid if he didn’t, but he said he’d take care of it.
And if Dad’s one thing, that’s efficient.
Still, it’s been hours.
“I just want him to be okay.”
Sighing, I sit down on the couch next to Jade and Grace, who’re both
huddled under the blanket. Grace lifts the blanket, and I snuggle closer to
my two friends.
I told them a dozen times they should go to bed, but they didn’t even
want to hear it; instead they stayed up waiting with me for some kind of
news.
Jade pulls her knees to her chest. “I still think we should have called
Nixon and the guys.”
I shake my head no. “He wouldn’t have wanted it.”
I know it. I could see his embarrassment over the whole situation. Not
that he actually had to be embarrassed about anything. He did nothing
wrong.
“People are already talking,” Grace says softly, soothing my hair back.
“They’ll find out, eventually.”
“Fuck that. People can be such nosy assholes sometimes.”
“At least they won’t see him behind bars, so there’s that.”
Get inside, Rei.
Zane didn’t want me to see him like that. I knew he wouldn’t want his
friends to witness it either. There’s this helplessness that swallows you
whole when you’re in a situation like this. Something I hadn’t known and
hoped I’d never feel again either.
“Well, I want to see him to sma—”
My phone rings in my hand, and we all turn to it like it’s a bomb that’s
about to explode.
Jade gets up and comes to sit on my other side. “C’mon, answer it!”
So I do. “D-Dad?”
My voice trembles a little, my fingers gripping the phone tightly, like
it’s my lifeline.
He has to be okay.
“He’s out,” Dad says simply.
I let out a huge sigh of relief, and my body sags against the back of the
couch. I close my eyes to stop the tears from falling down.
He’s out.
I should be happy, not crying.
He’s safe.
He’s going to be safe.
The girls hug me tightly from both sides, and I let them. They’re the
only thing that’s been grounding me since the moment Zane was taken. The
only thing that kept me sane.
“Thank you, Dad,” I whisper.
He grunts something, and I chuckle softly. It’s so like him. He’s not one
to deal with emotional things. I’m not sure if he was always like that or if
it’s his defense mechanism since Mom died, but it’s just like him. Instead of
addressing my trembly voice, he goes straight to business. “The lawyer just
called me. She finished all the necessary paperwork. Zane’s free of all
charges, so he went home.”
“I told you he’s innocent.”
There wasn’t a sliver of doubt in my mind, not even for a moment. Not
when they pressed him against the wall. Not when they found the drugs.
He wouldn’t do it. Zane, my Zane, wouldn’t do it.
“Yeah, well.”
I shake my head. “He’s a good guy, Dad.”
“Good guys don’t get into trouble.”
“Like you never got in trouble yourself. Everybody needs a little help
sometimes. That’s what makes us human, didn’t you say that once?”
 Another grumble, followed by a sigh. Papers shuffle in the background.
“You should go to bed, it’s late, and you have practice in the morning.”
Instead of pressing him further, I let him change the subject.
“You still planning to make it to Nationals?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
I knew he wouldn’t, but things have seemed so delicate between us.
And I miss him.
I miss my dad.
He’s the only parent, the only family, I have left. And Zane was right—
no matter how much of an asshole he could be occasionally, I love him. I
love him because deep down I know in the end he’ll do what’s right for me
because he loves me too. “Okay.”
“Go to bed, Rei. He’s going to be okay.”
Is he? Is he, really?
“Goodnight, Dad.”
“Night, Squirt.”
Finishing the call, I let my hand fall in my lap, the conversation still
playing in my mind.
“He’s out?” Jade asks, leaning her head against mine.
“He’s out,” I confirm.
“What now?” Grace asks softly.
I shake my head softly. “I don’t have any idea.”
“Think it’s too early to beat his ass for what happened before this whole
fiasco?”
“I don’t want you to beat his ass, Jade. Not now or later.”
“Then what do you want?”
The only thing I can’t have, apparently.
“I just want Zane back.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
I let the door shut behind me with a bang, not caring in the least that it’s the
middle of the night and everybody is asleep.
Taking two steps at a time, I get to the second floor, go straight for the
end of the hallway, and try to open Hayden’s door, which is locked.
Fucking perfect.
So I start to knock.
“Open up, Hayden.”
There is rustling coming from the other side, and I can hear their faint
voices.
“Hayden, open the fuck up, or I’ll break down the door.”
“Hold on a minute, dammit.”
More rustling and swearing, but then he finally pads closer to the door
and turns the key.
My best friend’s head peeks through the crack in the door. “Where’s the
fire?”
“Did you know?” I ask instantly.
The question’s been bugging me all the way back from Gr—Fuck.—her
house.
She knew. Kevin knew. Did Hayden?
Was I the only fool who hasn’t realized this whole time?
“What?”
“Did you fucking know?” I ask, my hands gripping the doorframe so
tightly my knuckles turn white.
“Know what?” he repeats, clearly frustrated.
“You better not lie to me, or I swear…”
“Know fucking what, Zane?” Hayden yells back. “You’re making no
fucking sense, dude!”
“About Grams.”
“Grams?” Hayden rubs his face. “What about Grams? Is she okay? Is
—”
“That she’s my grandmother.”
“Of course she’s…”
“No.” I shake my head. “That she’s really my grandmother. As in my
blood relative.”
 I watch his face as he processes my words. His frown deepens as he
mulls it over. “But that would mean that…”
“Hayden?”
Callie’s sleepy voice comes from behind him. He turns around to his
girlfriend. Cradling her face, he leans down and kisses the top of her head.
“Go back to bed, Angel.”
Callie looks at me, and then at Hayden. I’m not sure what she sees, or
how much she heard since we weren’t that quiet, but she nods once and
goes back inside. Hayden watches her, and only once she’s settled, does he
turn back to me.
“I think this calls for whiskey.” He comes out of the room, pulling the
door closed behind him.
“I thought you didn’t drink.”
This year, since he decided to enter the draft at the end of college
season, Hayden’s been really watchful about his diet and exercise regimen.
He kept his drinking to a minimum. No partying, no fast food. I don’t think
I’ve seen him drinking even a beer more than twice.
“Well, some occasions don’t leave you with another option. And we’re
not talking about the shitty kind either.”
Together we go downstairs, only turning on the light above the stove.
Hayden pulls out a chair and places it next to the cupboards. We’re all tall
dudes, but we stashed our good stuff on the top shelf that even we can’t
reach without help. Less chance of somebody taking it during a party.
I grab two glasses just as Hayden comes down, a bottle in hand. He
unclasps it and pours us a generous amount.
“You’re not joking with that thing.”
“If I’m breaking my rules, might as well be in style.” He grabs his glass
and leans against the counter. “So… Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
I take my glass in hand, swirling the amber liquid.
The beginning.
Where’s the beginning, anyway?
I think about it for a moment, but finally settle on a simple, “Candie is
back.”
Hayden’s head snaps up. “Your mother? Wasn’t she in prison?”
“She was, but now she’s back. She’s been back for a while.”
Hayden and I never talked a lot about our parents. His dad’s in prison,
and so was my mom. We didn’t talk about them, talk about our pasts really.
It was a silent agreement between us that helped us move forward, live our
lives without the chains of our pasts holding us back. Or so we liked to
think.
“She told me that the reason Grams took me in was to ease her
conscience.”
“Wait, you actually talked to her?”
I down the whiskey in one go. The liquid slides down my throat, leaving
a burning taste behind.
“She’s been back for weeks, Hades. Months. She first came back around
in August. She needed some money, so I gave it to her to get rid of her, but
she kept coming back.”
Hayden curses. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Say what exactly?”
“I don’t know… Something.” His eyes narrow. “Wait, is that the reason
you kept taking shifts at Kevin’s even during the year? I knew something
was fishy about that. You never work during the year, always concentrating
on school and hockey.”
“I gave her what I had stashed on the side, so I took some shifts here
and there.”
“Fucking hell, Zane.” Hayden shakes his head. “So what? Why say
something about it now? After all these years?”
“I didn’t want to keep giving her the money.” I tell him what happened
earlier when I was taking Rei back to her dorm.
“They arrested you? Why didn’t you call us to come and get you?”
“The cop didn’t really give me a chance to call anybody.”
“Fucking assholes,” Hayden mutters, his fingers clenching around his
glass. “Do you think she’s telling the truth?”
“I know she is. I went to Gra—” Once again, I struggle with the word. I
take the bottle of whiskey, pulling straight out of it until my eyes burn with
tears. “I went to her house. She admitted it. She knew. From the very first
time she saw me. She knew. She knew who Candie was. She knew who I
was. She knew what happened to me. And yet she let Candie take me
back.”
At this point, I didn’t even know which part was the worst. The part
where she knew about the abuse and let it keep happening? The part where
she took me in without saying a damn thing even when I was old enough to
understand it; to what, exactly?
 What was the point? What was her end goal here?
“And here I thought my family couldn’t get more messed up.”
Hayden downs his own drink and takes the bottle from me to refill our
glasses.
“What now?”
“What do you mean?”
“What now?” He shrugs. “You talked to Grams. Are you going to talk to
Kevin too?”
Am I?
The thought never crossed my mind. Not once.
In all the years I’ve known him, we’ve never been close. But Grams and
I have been close. She’s been like a grandmother to me, and her betrayal is
something I don’t think I can forgive.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“Fair enough.”
We stand in silence, each one of us lost in our own thoughts. I swirl the
amber liquid, my head slightly spinning from all the alcohol.
“Did you notice how strange he’s been acting lately? Coming late for
Thanksgiving, then that fight with Grams. Do you think he knows?”
“That I’m his…” I can’t even bring myself to finish.
“No, that Candie is back.” He looks at me pointedly. “Maybe you’re not
the only one she’s been asking for money.”
I frown, thinking about it. “But why would she be asking him for
money?”
“No idea, it’s just a thought. How did the two of them even get mixed
up together in the first place?”
“No idea.” Candie never talked about my father, except an offhanded
jab here or there. I can’t see the two of them together, but they obviously
were at some point in the past.
“What are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to drink this whiskey, and hope that the next time I open my
eyes, this whole thing turns out to be just a dream.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Seriously? Are you even trying?” Alexei calls out at me from his spot on
the ice.
“I’m trying!” I protest, my fingers grazing over the ice as I push myself
into an upward position.
“It doesn’t look like that from my perspective. You landed more quads
two months ago when we barely started practicing.”
Irritated at his tone, I grit my teeth. I wish I could tell him where to
shove it, but he’s right, dammit. I’ve barely landed two quads today, and
those weren’t my best either. I’m pretty sure one was under-rotated.
I’m tired.
I’m heartbroken.
But I’m also worried.
I haven’t heard anything about Zane since Dad told me he’d been
released. I tried texting him, but haven’t heard back. So I went to sleep, or
at least tried to, but every time I closed my eyes, I’d remember the moment
when the cop put the cuffs on him and led him away, so I startled awake,
back at the beginning.
Clenching my fingers, I do another arc around the rink, picking up
speed before shifting backward and taking a leap. The cool air bites my skin
as I rotate, my body resisting the pull of gravity.
My blade touches the ice after four rotations, my entire body rattling
from the impact. It’s wobbly, but I landed it.
That shuts Alex up, at least for the moment.
I practice under his watchful eye for a while longer, trying out different
jumps and combinations that are part of the program.
By the time Alexei signals that practice is over, my head is throbbing,
my breathing hard, and my whole body aches from exertion.
I skate toward the player’s bench, where Alexei hands me a towel. I
take it, wiping my sweaty face, and reach for my water bottle.
“I still worry about the consistency.” Alex rubs his chin. “Maybe we
should switch it back to triples only.”
“No.” I shake my head. There is no way I’m going back. Not after all
the work I put in these last couple of months. Not after everything that I’ve
sacrificed. Everything that I’ve lost. “I’m doing the quads.”
 I was getting better at landing the quads, more consistent, even with my
quad combo, but I still didn’t land it every time. Then again, it’s barely been
two months since I started landing quad jumps. Maybe I was expecting too
much, too soon?
“Fine,” he mutters reluctantly. “We’ll concentrate on that for the rest of
the week. I want you practicing jumps and going over the routine this week.
Just don’t overdo it. We don’t want you to be too tired for Nationals, or to
get injured.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“I mean it, Rei, don’t get reckless.”
“I’m never reckless.”
Alex gives me an unamused look before checking his watch, just as
voices come from down the tunnel. “Stretch, grab a shake, get some rest,
and I’ll see you for our afternoon session.”
The hockey team comes out to the rink, chatting and laughing. I look at
them, my eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar face, but he’s nowhere in
sight.
“Rei?”
“Huh?” I turn around to a scowling Alex.
We’ve been talking during our practices, but even then the tension
between us is palpable. I’m still angry at him for pushing his nose into my
business and talking shit to Dad behind my back about Zane.
“Are you even listening to me?”
“Yes, I am.” I turn my attention to him, and count on my fingers.
“Stretch, no gym, no ice, grab a shake. Got it. Are you done now?”
He narrows his eyes at me, not amused in the slightest. Well, that makes
two of us.
“Yeah, we’re done.”
“Then I’ll see you later.”
I grab my bag from the bench and skate toward the door. Some of the
players have already come to the ice to warm up. They nod at me in
greeting as I pass by.
“Skater Girl, where’s the rush?”
My heart speeds up as I turn around. “Spencer.” I look behind him,
hoping to see…
Spencer shakes his head. “He’s not here.”
My heart freefalls when the realization sinks in.
 I turn my attention back to him, forcing out a small smile. “That
obvious?”
He chuckles, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me in
for a hug. “Just a little bit.” He looks at Alexei’s retreating back. “How is
that going?”
“Good.”
“Just good?”
I jab him in the side, although I’m not sure if he feels anything because
of all the padding. “He’s a good coach, you know.”
Spencer hums noncommittally.
“He is.” For all Alexei’s other faults, I never doubted that even for a
second.
“Maybe when he’s not being an asshole.”
“You just don’t like him because Zane doesn’t like him.”
He looks down at me, that familiar smirk on his face. “Gotta stick with
my boy.”
The whistle blows and somebody, probably one of the coaches, yells for
everybody to get on the ice.
“Go.” I duck from under his hand. “And good luck with your game.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you later, Skater Girl.”
“Later,” I agree, my eyes going back toward the ice.
The rink seems so small with all the players huddled out there, but none
of them are Zane.
Sighing, I get off the ice and quickly put on a hoodie and work on
exchanging my skates for boots. Packing my things, I put on my jacket and
toss the duffle over my shoulder.
One last time I let my gaze dart toward the ice, where the players are
already practicing in smaller groups.
He’s really not coming.
I go toward the tunnel, pulling out my phone. Grace doesn’t have a class
until later, maybe she’ll want to meet me for a shake and breakfast. I pull
out her contact and start typing the message when I bump into somebody.
A chill runs down my spine as I slowly lift my gaze until I meet a
familiar pair of green eyes.
“Zane.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“West, my office.”
The air in the locker room shifts as Coach leaves the room. While
before it was quiet, now you can hear a pin drop.
The guys avoid looking at me as I let my shoulder pads fall down to the
bench and pick my shirt back up, pulling it over my head.
I guess it was just a matter of time.
Spencer slaps me on the back as I pass by him. He’s the only one who’s
acting normal, despite everything that has happened.
Maybe I should have emptied my locker instead of putting on my
equipment. Why waste more time than necessary on it later? When Coach
kicks me off the team, it won’t be a surprise to anybody, anyway.
“Coach.” I enter the small office, stopping by the door.
“Sit down, West,” Coach grumbles, shuffling through some of the
papers on the mess that is his desk.
“I’d rather stand, sir.”
Coach looks up, his eyes narrowing on me. “Sit.”
I grit my teeth.
If he wants to play it like that, fine.
I pull out the metal chair and plop my ass down.
Coach leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.
Although he’s in his late fifties, he’s still tall and in decent shape. His gray
hair is cut close to his scalp, military style.
“Can you explain to me, West, why one of my best players ended up in
jail and why the fuck am I the last one to find out about it?” While his voice
is calm, there is an edge to it I’m familiar with. It’s the calmness that comes
right before he snaps.
“Hard to call when your hands are in cuffs, Coach.”
The vein on his forehead starts to throb. “Do you think this is a game,
West?”
“Do I look like I’m laughing?” Laughing is the farthest thing from my
mind. “What do you want me to say, Coach? Was I arrested? Yes, I was.”
Just the truth, no explanations. If he heard about the arrest, he heard
about the reason behind it too.
 “What the fuck for?” his voice booms. His clenched fist connects with
the desk and makes the things on top rattle from the impact.
“I thought you found out.”
“Do you really want to be suspended from the team?”
“I didn’t realize my opinion mattered all that much.”
Coach sighs and runs his hand over his face, rubbing at his temples.
“Did you do it?”
My entire body stiffens, my hand wrapping around the arm of the chair.
“The charges were dropped.”
“I know the damn charges were dropped. I’m asking you. Did you do
it?”
“No,” I grit. “I’m not using. Never have. And I’m definitely not selling.
I’ve seen what that shit can do to people. I didn’t get out of that hellhole to
get right back in one of my own making.”
Coach watches me for a moment, contemplating my answer.
This is it. No more hockey. No more skating. No more team. It’s done.
“Good.” He tips his chin toward the door. “Suit up.”
I push from the table, ready to leave, but then stop.
Wait, what?
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, suit up, West. You’re already late for practice.”
“You’re not throwing me off the team?”
“Why the hell would I do that?” His face clearly reflects his thoughts—
What the hell is wrong with you, you dumbass? “The charges were dropped.
You’re not using. If there isn’t anything else, I want you out there in the
rink now.”
“But I was in jail,” I point out, as if he forgot.
“You were detained because of a misunderstanding.” Coach grabs his
clipboard and stands up.
“That’s semantics. If it weren’t for that fancy lawyer, I’d still be there.”
“Do you want me to kick you off the team?” Coach crosses his arms
over his chest, the scowl on his face deepening. “Because I’m starting to get
tempted.”
“No, Coach.”
“Then get the hell out of my office, before I make you run the bleachers
in full equipment.”
I stand up abruptly, almost making the chair fall behind me on the floor.
 “I expect to see you on the ice in less than five minutes, West.”
“Yes, Coach.”
We leave his office, with him going toward the rink while I return to the
locker room.
I’m still on the team.
My heart is beating wildly as I process the news. I’m still on the team. I
expected Coach to tell me to pack my shit and get out of his rink, but he
didn’t.
I pull my shirt off as soon as I’m in the locker room. The space is quiet
since everybody is already in the rink. I change in record time, grabbing my
helmet and stick from the locker, and head for the door.
But as soon as I get out into the hallway, somebody crashes into me. I
look down.
Wide brown eyes.
Oval face.
Messy raven hair.
The smell of cherries and flowers.
“Zane.” My name comes out with a whoosh of air.
Rei takes a step back, pulling her hand away from me rapidly. Like just
touching me hurts.
It’s better that way.
“Spencer said you weren’t here.”
“I was talking to Coach.”
“Oh.”
Rei shifts her weight from one foot to the other, looking anywhere but at
me. The silence stretches for a long moment, sucking all the air between us.
“I’m glad to see you’re okay,” she whispers, breaking the silence. “I
tried to message you, but…”
Dammit. I didn’t even remember to check my phone. First my mind was
all over the place with everything that happened, everything I found out,
and then I got so drunk Hayden didn’t even bother taking me to my bed,
just left me on the couch until morning when he woke me up.
“Sorry.” I run my hand over my head. “A lot happened last night.”
“Yeah, that’s why I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She shifts her
weight from one foot to another. “Dad called me, so I knew you were out,
but still.” She looks up at me, her eyes drinking me in. “I needed to know
you were okay. I needed to see you with my own eyes.”
 “Rei, I…” My throat bobs as I swallow, unsure of what to say. I never
wanted her to worry about me. “I’m fine, thanks to you. You didn’t have to
call your dad to get me out.”
She chuckles, but there’s no humor in the sound. “The other option was
to storm the police station and get you out myself. Would that be better?”
Fuck no.
“No.” I shake my head. “No, I don’t want to see you anywhere near the
police or near…”
“You?” she finishes softly, her teeth sinking into her lower lip.
I want to shake her so badly, make her look at it from my perspective,
but I keep my hands to myself because I know if I touch her, even if only
for a split second, I won’t be able to let go.
“You don’t belong in my world.”
“Yeah, you said something like that.” Rei shakes her head softly. She
hoists her bag up and starts to walk around me.
“Rei…” I call out.
The word comes out faster than I can process what I’m saying. Panic
grips my gut, making it hard to breathe.
Rei stops, but doesn’t turn around.
This is it.
The last moment. She’ll walk away from me and never come back.
I’m not ready for it to be over.
Not ready for her to go away.
I shake my head, my gloved hands tightening around the hockey stick.
Let her go, man. It’s for the best.
Let. Her. Go.
“Good luck at Nationals.”
With that, I turn around and go to the rink.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“You should think about this a bit more,” Grace says for the umpteenth time
in the last hour. What she doesn’t realize is that it’s pointless. “Maybe…”
“What is going on here?” Jade asks as she leans against the doorframe,
her eyes taking in the mess that is my room. “I didn’t realize you needed
that much stuff for Nationals. Aren’t you going to be away for like five
days or something?”
“I don’t,” I say, taking another shirt from the hanger and throwing it into
the open suitcase on my bed.
“She’s leaving,” Grace explains.
“She’s…” There’s a slight pause. “You’re what?!”
“Leaving.” I toss another shirt in the already overflowing suitcase.
Maybe I should have actually made a point of organizing it all instead of
throwing things inside, but who cares. I just need to get this done and get
out of this place as soon as possible. “I’m leaving.”
“You can’t leave.”
“Well, I am.”
Grace sighs. “I already tried, but it’s pointless. She’s not listening.”
“That’s because I’m right, and you know it.” I shove the clothes that are
hanging from the edge of my suitcase inside and close it. “This whole thing
has been a huge mistake. I should have never come here in the first place.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Is it? Is it really?”
Jade crosses the room, hopping over random things scattered on my
floor, and pulls me in for a hug. “You’re just hurt. Have you seen him?”
I close my eyes tightly and take a shaky breath. “In the rink.”
“What happened? Did he say something?”
“Yeah.” I wipe my eyes before pulling away. “That we don’t belong
together.”
Before Jade can say anything, I turn around and go back to packing.
“What an idiot! Please tell me you didn’t believe him.”
“Everybody who saw you two together could see how crazy you guys
are about one another,” Grace says softly.
“Exactly!”
 “Well, apparently he doesn’t think that way.” I shrug, clenching my
hand around a hoodie. “And maybe he’s right. Maybe we don’t belong
together.” I shake my head. “I shouldn’t even be thinking about this. I
should be concentrating on Nationals. I should concentrate on landing that
quad jump and securing my spot in the Winter Games. But no, I’m here
crying over a guy to whom I’m not enough.” I turn toward them, tears
falling down my cheeks. “That’s what he said. I’m not enough. And I can’t
get those words out of my head. If I fail, it’ll be all my fault. So no, I should
have never come here. If I hadn’t, none of this would have happened.”
“Don’t say that.” Jade places her hands on my shoulders and gives me a
shake. “This experience wasn’t just about Zane. It was about you. It was
about finding yourself.”
“Then why do I feel like I’m even more lost than that first day I moved
in? No, I should have never come here. I should have stayed home and
concentrated all my attention on getting through this year. Getting through
qualifications and securing my spot on Team USA. But no, I had to go to
college. I had to have a normal life. What the hell is normal, anyway? If this
is what normal feels like, I want no part in it.”
Damn you, Zane.
Damn you for making me fall and not being there to catch me.
“He’s an idiot.” Jade wraps her arms around me tightly. “All guys are
idiots.”
Grace joins us on the other side. “And yet, we still love them.”
I sniffle softly.
You won’t cry.
I’ve cried enough tears to last me a lifetime. No more. If Zane doesn’t
want to be with me, he can suit himself.
I was fine without him before. I’ll be fine once again. Maybe not today,
or tomorrow, but someday soon, I’ll be okay.
“I’m never falling in love,” Jade whispers softly. “The only thing it
brings you is heartache.”
I scoff. “You say that like it’s a choice.”
Falling for Zane was inevitable. It was like a jump. You can take a leap
into the sky, but sooner or later gravity will pull you back onto the ice.
“Well, for me it’ll be a choice.”
Grace chuckles. “I’ll be excited to see how that’ll play out. Don’t mind
me when I tell you I told you so.”
 “You just wait and watch. I’ll show love who’s the boss. I’ve had too
much heartache, enough to last me a lifetime. I’m done with love. Done
with heartache. From now on, it’s just me and my girls. And on that note…”
She pries away my fingers, which are still wrapped around the hoodie, and
tosses it on the bed. “You know what you need?”
“To go home?”
I can’t stay here. Not when Zane is everywhere I turn. Not when I can
see him in every little corner. Not when he’s all I think about. Not when I
have a competition to get ready for.
“That’s the last thing you need.” She pulls me toward the door. “You
need to eat some ice cream and watch some really cheesy reality show,
that’s what you need.”
“I can’t eat ice cream.”
Jade shoves me into the couch and glares at me. “If I hear one more
negative comment coming from your mouth, I’m going to strangle you. Bad
reality and ice cream, the best medicine for a broken heart.”
But what about a broken soul?
Jade goes to the fridge and pulls three pints of Ben & Jerry’s out of the
freezer.
“Was that in there this whole time?” I ask, taking the spoon she offers
me.
“I’m not even going to comment on that.”
Grace joins us on the couch, taking her own pint. I tentatively scrape a
little bit off the top and put it in my mouth.
“Better?”
“A little,” I admit.
“See.” Jade smiles at me, sticking her own spoon into the ice cream.
“I’m always right.”
“I don’t know about always.” I pull the remote out of Jade’s hand before
she can turn on a reality show. “And we’re watching anime.”
“Are you for real?”
“It’s way more interesting than watching people act like drama queens
for no reason whatsoever.”
“Fine.”
For a while, we just sit there, eating ice cream and watching TV in
silence.
 “I can’t stay here, Jade,” I sigh finally. “It’s just too much. Seeing him
on campus or in the rink…”
Grace lets out a shaky breath, making me realize what I just said out
loud. “Grace, I’m so so—”
“It’s okay.” She shakes her head. “I know what you mean, I didn’t want
to stay here at first either. Funny, since I couldn’t wait to get out of New
York fast enough so I wouldn’t be haunted by the memories. If anybody
gets it, it’s me.”
Jade places her hand over mine on the couch. “Just don’t make any rash
decisions. Give it a few days. Hell, go to Nationals, and see how you feel
afterward. Yeah?”
“Yeah, fine.”
But deep down, I know it’s useless. I’ve already made up my mind.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jade Cole asks as she storms
into the living room.
The guys fall quiet instantly as she stops next to me, her hands propped
on her hips.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I turn my attention back to
the TV, gripping the controller more tightly in my hands.
But, of course, she doesn’t want to be ignored. Jade steps in front of the
television, effectively blocking it from our view. The guys groan as sounds
of slashing followed by a clear ‘game over’ fill the room.
“Rei.” She narrows her eyes at me. “I’m talking about Rei! You know,
the girl you dated not that long ago?”
“Jade, let it go,” Nixon warns her from the doorway. “It’s none of your
business.”
She turns her stormy eyes toward her brother. “She’s my friend, so I
make it my business.”
“Dude, what the fuck? I was winning!” Prescott protests, glaring at her.
He pounds his fist against the couch, making one of his crutches fall on the
floor.
“Oh, poor baby, I don’t know how you’re going to survive this.”
“Seriously, Cole, your sister is nosey as fuck.”
“Well, dude, you’re always free to leave. The door is wide open.” Jade
glares at him, her hands propped on her hips, before returning all the
attention of her icy stare directly at me. “I told her not to mess with you.”
“And you were right, she’s better off without me.”
“The hell she is!” Jade lets her hands fall down. They slap against her
sides. “She left, Zane.”
“I don’t know what…” The rest of the sentence dies on my lips. My
heart pummels down as her words register in my mind.
What?
Left?
She can’t leave. That’s not how this is supposed to happen.
“She left a fucking note on her bed and snuck out in the middle of the
night. I figured she just needed some time off, that she left for Boston early
to concentrate on Nationals, and then she’d come back, but then some guy
came yesterday and took the rest of her things. She’s gone.”
Jade stares at me. I’m not sure what she’s expecting me to say because I
can barely think, much less open my mouth. Her words echo in the room.
Rei left.
She left, and she’s not coming back.
She was supposed to stay. This was what she wanted. College. Friends.
Skating. She should have stayed and had it all. And I’d still get to see a
glimpse of her every now and then. Make sure that she’s okay, even if just
from afar.
“Right.” Jade shakes her head, the disappointment clear in her voice. “I
figured you’d want to know that. I guess I was wrong.”
With that, she turns on the balls of her feet and storms away just as fast
as she came in here. From the corner of my eye, I see Nixon go after her. I
hear them fighting in the hallway, but their voices are muffled so I can’t
hear what they’re talking about exactly. Or maybe it’s the echo of Jade’s
words that’s still ringing in my head.
Rei left.
“Dude, seriously?”
“You’re not going to do shit?”
I run my hand over my face. “What do you want me to do, Spencer?”
“Go after her, you asshole.” He punches me in the arm. “You’re in love
with her.”
I shake my head. “She’s better off without me.”
Rei doesn’t need me to drag her down, and that’s exactly what I’d be
doing; the last few days only confirmed that.
There’s no knowing where Candie went or if she’s coming back. When
she’s coming back. Because the truth of the matter is, she’ll be coming
back. She’s like a cockroach, goes into hiding for a while, but you can’t get
rid of her, not entirely.
Hayden slaps me over the head. “If we all thought that way, none of us
would have our girls.”
“Does Yas deserve somebody better?” Nixon leans against the doorway,
crossing his arms over his chest. I didn’t even hear him come back. “Hell
yeah. But there is no guy out there who gets her the way I do, and no guy
that could love her more.”
“It’s not the same, you’re not…”
 “What?” Hayden asks. “Black?”
I dig my fingers into my knees. “Among other things.”
Spencer gets off the couch and points a finger at me. “Rei doesn’t care
about that shit, and you know it.”
“People care.”
“Fuck people, Zane.” Spencer lifts his hands in the air. “Fuck people!
Do you really plan to give up the girl you like, no, the girl you’re in love
with, just because of some assholes who have too much free time to stick
their noses into other people’s shit?”
I push off the couch, done with people yelling at me and getting into my
face. “It’s not just that. It’s Candie, and the risk…”
“Rei isn’t one to shy away from a risk.” Spencer jabs his finger in my
chest and shakes his head. “We both know that. I never thought you were,
though.”
With that, he walks around me and leaves me standing. The room is
silent, all eyes turned on me, waiting for me to do something.
Only there is nothing.
Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
Rei left.
Maybe that’s for the best.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Carter just brought your things.”
I let go of my leg and slowly exit the spin to face my father. “Thanks for
doing this.”
“It wasn’t a problem.” Dad moves closer to the rink. He probably just
got home from work since he’s still dressed in the suit he had on this
morning. Even the tie is in place. Impeccable, as always.
I look around for the first time, realizing how late it is. The bright
reflector lights illuminate the ice so I can continue practicing. If Alexei
knew, he would have strangled me. He left hours ago, and I promised I
wouldn’t stay out too long. Now my fingers are frozen, little prickles
running just under my dry skin.
“Are you sure you want to do it?”
I take the towel that I draped over the fence of the rink and wipe my
face. “Yes, you were right. I should have stayed and concentrated on skating
instead.”
I start to pull back, but Dad places his hand over mine, stopping me.
“Just a few weeks ago you were telling me how much you loved it at
Blairwood—what changed?”
Zane’s emotionless face passes before my eyes.
It’s not enough.
“Everything,” I whisper, forcing back my emotions.
Skating, that’s what I have to concentrate on. Skating.
A frown appears on Dad’s face. “Did something happen? You know you
can talk to me Rei.”
I chuckle. “Sorry, Dad, but the last thing I want to talk to you about is
my love life. Or lack of it.”
“You don’t look like somebody who has love life problems.”
“What do you know about love life?” I snap. “You haven’t dated since
Mom died.”
My hand flies to cover my mouth, the regret washing over me as soon
as the words are out. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I turn around to apologize, but
am hit with the sad expression on my dad’s face.
“I don’t. But I know a broken heart when I see one.”
 This time there’s no stopping the tears. They come falling down in full
force.
“Shhh.” Dad pulls me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me. The
railing is digging into my hips, but I don’t care one bit. I burrow my head
into Dad’s chest, letting the familiar smell of him enter my nostrils. “What
happened really?”
“H-he broke up with me. Said it wasn’t enough. Said I-I w-wasn’t e-
enough.”
“I’m so sorry, baby.”
Dad smooths his hand down the back of my head in a soothing motion.
“I can’t be there. It’s all just too much. He’s everywhere. I see him on
campus. I see him at the rink. I just…” I shake my head.
I can’t do this.
Zane immersed himself in my life slowly, sneaking through the little
cracks until he filled every single one of them, and now that he’s gone I feel
empty once again.
“Even when I skate, he’s out there with me on the ice. I expect to turn
around and find him smiling at me, but he’s not there, and I…”
“Shhh… it’s going to be okay.”
Is it really?
I don’t voice my question out loud, but it hangs there between us,
nonetheless.
Dad runs his hand down my arms. “C’mon, let’s get you inside, you’re
freezing.”
I nod my agreement. He hands me my jacket when I get out of the rink
and wraps it around my shoulder.
“Thank you, Dad.”
“For what?”
“Having my back.”
He puts his arm around my shoulders. “I’ll always have your back,
Squirt.”

“Nice short program, Rei.” I turn around at the sound of Gabi McAllister’s
sugary sweet voice. She’s dressed in her red costume, her platinum hair
pulled back in a low bun, her makeup flawless.
“That triple Axel of yours looks better, too,” I say with a smile.
Her smile falls, eyes narrowing slightly. She lifts her nose in the air as
only she knows how. “Well, at least I landed it.”
“This time.”
“Enough now,” Alexei whispers in my ear in warning, his fingers
wrapping around my forearm as he pulls me away.
“See you tomorrow, Gabi.”
I don’t resist as Alexei pulls me away. Gabi McAllister and I have been
rivals ever since I’ve known her. We went to the same rink, until I switched
to Blairwood, that is, and we’ve always tried to outdo one another. If I
learned something new, you could bet that Gabi would be learning it shortly
after.
“What the hell was that?” Alex asks when we’re finally alone.
“Just Gabi being Gabi.”
“Do you really have to bite back?”
“I’m not letting her walk all over me.” I pull my arm out of his grasp.
“Besides, it’s not like this is anything new or unusual.”
Alexei shakes his head. “Let’s forget about Gabi for a moment. You
should have left the quads for tomorrow like we talked about, it’s not like
you can perform them in a short program, anyway. It messed with your
head and you fell on the first Axel. You should concentrate on that. Let your
performance on the ice speak for itself.”
I press my lips in a tight line. I don’t need Alexei to tell me all the
mistakes I made, although technically, I pay him to do just that. I’m well
aware what a screwup the short program was. I don’t remember the last
time I fell on an Axel, of all jumps. It’s one of my most favorite jumps. I
placed third overall after the short program, which isn’t the worst, but could
have been significantly better.
Now more than ever I have to deliver tomorrow.
But it’s like there is some kind of barrier in my mind that stops me from
landing them. Every time I attempt to do it, it’s like my body freezes. I
know the motions, God knows I repeated them enough times to create the
muscle memory for it, but I just can’t do it.
And now that the cat’s out of the bag, people are talking. I knew they
would. Just the fact that we included a quad jump in the lineup spoke
volumes. Not one senior female US skater has ever landed one in
competition.
I want to be the first.
I want it badly. And not just for me.
“You need to get your head in the game, Rei.” Alexei’s hands cup my
cheeks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I suck in a breath, turning my attention to Alexei. His bright blue eyes
are staring into mine intently.
The sensation feels foreign. It’s not the right hand touching me. It’s too
small, the skin too soft, the smell wrong.
Not Zane.
He was supposed to be here. Standing in the stands and cheering me on.
It was his choice, the little voice reminds me. He chose to leave.
But he was supposed to be here.
“Rei,” Alexei sighs. His finger slips under my chin, tilting my head up.
“You’ve worked hard, sacrificed too much to let it all slip between your
fingers, for some piece of shit…”
Shoving his hand away, I pull back forcefully. “Don’t you dare call him
that!”
“I’m just telling the truth. He ended up in jail for the possession of
drugs,” Alex hisses the last sentence and then looks around to confirm
nobody heard him. God forbid.
“He was innocent!”
Alex rolls his eyes. “That’s what they all say.”
God, I want to strangle him. “It’s the truth, and the attorney proved it.”
Apparently, the attorney found some footage from the cameras
surrounding the area that cleared the whole thing up. It clearly showed a
woman—Zane’s mother—come and shove the drugs into his pocket before
running away.
Looking back, it all makes sense. I remember how jittery she was, how
she looked over her shoulder as if waiting for somebody. She knew. She
knew cops had spotted her and they were following her, so she threw Zane
under the bus.
What kind of person—what kind of mother—does that?
“Besides, if it weren’t for Zane, I wouldn’t have come this far.”
“Of course you would have. You’re the one who worked hard for this.
Not him.”
 “But it was Zane who showed me how.”
Alexei pulls back like I slapped him. For a moment, I feel bad. He’s not
a bad coach, but he’s been holding back with me since we started to work
on quads.
“Alexei…” I start, but don’t get to finish because I hear somebody call
my name. Involuntarily, my heart speeds up.
Traitorous little thing.
“Rei!”
My head snaps up, eyes scanning the space for whoever called my
name.
“Rei!”
This time the sound is closer, coming from right behind… I turn around
and blink. “What are you guys doing here?”
My heart is beating rapidly in my chest, the corner of my mouth tipping
up in a half-smile as my eyes land on my friends.
“You didn’t think we’d miss a chance to see you in action, did you?”
Grace asks as she and Jade move closer, both of them throwing their arms at
me and pulling me into a group hug.
“We’re not letting you go without a fight, missy,” Jade adds, her hug so
tight it’s squishing the air out of my lungs.
“Jade,” Grace hisses in warning.
“You guys…”
I have no words. Seriously, no words. I’m not even sure if I want to cry
or laugh.
I missed them.
God, how I missed them.
I turned off my phone when I left Blairwood, needing these last days
before Nationals without distraction. Or so I kept telling myself. In reality, I
didn’t want to know if they’d noticed I was gone. Were they angry at me?
Disappointed? Or did they just move on with their lives as usual, like
nothing happened?
“By the way, you were amazing out there.”
“She fell,” Alex points out.
I sniff softly as we pull apart.
Jade glares at him. She never forgave him for going too hard that day
after we went out to the club and getting me hurt. “I don’t remember asking
you.”
 “He’s right, though.”
“Well, I don’t care. To me, you were the best out there by far.”
“Thanks. But seriously, what are you guys doing here?”
Grace rolls her eyes. “We came to cheer you on, obviously. You did
promise us we could come to a show.”
“Without the actual cheering. Can you believe some people gave me the
stink eye because I talked too loudly?” Jade pouts. “They’ve obviously
never been to a football game.”
I can’t help myself, I laugh. My first genuine laugh this whole week.
And it feels so good to let it out.
“Oh, Jade…”
“What? At least you’re laughing. Are you done for today?”
“For now. I want to go over tomorrow’s routine a few more times…”
“Great, let’s go grab something to eat. I’m starving.” Jade locks my
hand through hers, and pulls me toward the door, then as if she remembered
something she turns over her shoulder. “And you’re not invited.”
“I’m not in the mood,” Alexei comments dryly. “Rei, I’ll see you at
your house at four. I want to go over the long program a few more times.”
“Sounds good.” I nod my head and then let Jade and Grace pull me
away. “You don’t have to be so mean to him, you know. He’s just doing his
job.”
“I don’t remember when his job description started to include getting
you hurt.” Jade looks around. “So where’s something good to eat around
here?”
“First I have to change, but I’ll meet you guys outside in ten?”
“Fine, but you better not try to run away again ‘cause I’m watching
you.” Jade points at her eyes, and then to me.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Grace and Jade exchange a look. “That’s what she said last time.”
“This time I mean it.” Sighing, I go to them and wrap my arms around
them. “Thanks for coming today. I’m lucky to have you guys by my side.”
Grace laughs. “What are friends for?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“How long do you plan to sit and sulk in your room?”
I don’t even bother to look up at the sound of Hayden’s voice at my
door. “I’m not sulking.”
“Sure looks like you’re sulking.”
I glare at him. “Is there a point to this conversation?” Because I’m
seriously not in the mood for his bullshit.
“The guys are going to the gym, just wanted to see if you’re going.”
“Not in the mood for company.”
“Suit yourself.” He shrugs and pushes off the door.
I return my attention back to the laptop in front of me, the date in the
bottom corner screaming at me.
Nationals are this weekend. The short program part is over, and she fell
on her Axel. I didn’t even try to resist the urge to look at the video.
I had to see her.
It’s been days since the rink, days since I’ve last seen her.
Because you made her leave.
And now it’s a waiting game, two hours until the ladies’ long program
part of Nationals starts.
I run my hand over my face, digging fingers into my hair, sighing in
frustration. I should have left with Hayden, at least then I wouldn’t be here
pacing around the room just to kill time.
Maybe I should go and grab something to eat.
Yeah, that should do it. I push out of my chair and go downstairs. The
house is quiet, but when I enter the kitchen I find Maddox sitting at the
counter, his fingers typing against the keyboard so fast you’d think he’ll
forget something if he doesn’t get it all out now.
“Hey, what are you up to?”
The artificial light illuminates his face, and I can see the reflection of
the screen in his glasses staring back at me.
“Working on the game. The guys found some glitches the last time they
were playing, so I’ve been trying to fix them.”
“You know you can’t make that thing too difficult, right? Nobody wants
to play a game they keep losing at.”
 He hits a few more keys before lifting his head. His glasses slip down
his nose, and he pushes them back up.
“I know that. It was an actual glitch this time around.”
I open the fridge, looking at its contents. “You want something to eat?” I
ask, looking over my shoulder.
Maddox lifts his coffee cup and takes a sip. “I’m good.”
“You know that’s not actual food, right?”
“It is in my world.”
Closing the fridge, I open the freezer.
Bingo.
I pull out some frozen lasagna that Grams made, turn on the oven, and
shove the lasagna inside.
“You live in some fucked-up world, Mad.”
“Some people call me a genius.” Maddox tilts his head to the side and
gives me a long look.
I shift uncomfortably. “What?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his face. The
dude seriously needs a haircut. “Usually you’re not this chatty.”
“I’m just hungry.”
“And that makes you chatty?”
“No, but what it makes me is irritated,” I grumble. The last thing I want
to do is talk about my issues. My eyes dart toward the door that leads to the
basement. The lasagna won’t be done for at least another thirty minutes.
“You want to go down to the gym?”
“I was actually…” he starts, but shakes his head. “You know what?
Sure. Give me a few minutes to change?”
I’m not sure what he saw on my face, but whatever it is changed his
mind.
I nod my head, my gaze still on the laptop. Maddox leaves the kitchen
without another word, leaving me once again with my fucked-up thoughts.
And anger. All this irrational anger surging beneath my skin.
I’m the one who pushed her away because it’s all for her own damn
good.
Maddox comes back down in a couple of minutes, dressed in a pair of
shorts and a tee, his glasses exchanged for contacts.
 “Ready?” He runs his hand through his shaggy hair.
“Yup.”
Together we walk down the hallway and descend into the basement.
Maddox flicks the switch. It takes a few moments for the light to turn on
and illuminate the sparsely decorated space. Just a few mats, a treadmill and
a bench with weights by it are in the room. Oh, and a punching bag.
Without a word, Maddox goes to the wall and picks up one set of
gloves, throwing them at me, before taking the other one for himself.
You’d never think it when you see him at first, but Maddox is actually
pretty darn good at boxing and we usually spar together.
We work our gloves on in silence and transfer to mats, starting the
familiar dance. Neither Maddox nor I have ever been ones for unnecessary
chit-chat; I guess that’s why we always work so well together, although we
come from two completely different backgrounds.
I’m the one to land the first punch. Usually I’d wait it out, knowing that
patience will get me way further than recklessness, but today I want to be
reckless. I want, need, to let all this energy out before it drives me insane.
My fisted glove catches him in the side. Maddox staggers back, sucking
in a breath, but corrects himself quickly and goes straight for the
counterattack.
We move on the mats quickly. Boxing is like a dance in that regard. You
need quick feet, and an even better sense of your surroundings.
I lose myself in the familiarity of it.
I’m not sure how long we stay at it, but the sweat is dripping down my
forehead, clouding my vision, and both of us are breathing hard by the time
Maddox calls it quits.
“Okay, I’m done,” Maddox pants, wiping the sweat from his forehead
with his forearm.
He stumbles from the mat and starts removing his gloves. I fall down on
the floor, leaning against my hands, and let my head fall back.
Maddox moves across the room. “Is this about that girl?”
I look at him, frowning. “What girl?”
“That skater you date?”
My brows shoot up, but he just chuckles. “I know I might seem like I’m
stuck in my own head, because granted, most of the time I am, but I’m not
blind.”
“We broke up.”
 “She broke up with you?” Maddox opens the fridge and pulls out two
bottles of water. He tosses one to me.
“No, I broke up with her.”
“Then why’re you so upset?”
“I’m not upset, I’m just…”
Maddox leans against the wall and opens his bottle, waiting.
“Worried,” I finish. “I’m just worried.”
“Maybe you should call her.”
I shake my head before he even finishes. “She’s better off without me.”
“Says who?”
“Me.”
“Why?”
“What is this?” I run my fingers through my sweaty hair. “Twenty
questions?”
“Why did you break up with her, Zane?” Maddox asks again.
“Because she’s so out of my league, it’s not even funny. Because her
dad is some kind of CFO or some shit, and her mom was a famous figure
skater. She won a medal at the freaking Winter Games!”
“So what? You’re a hockey player, and you’re studying to be a doctor.
How’s that out of her league?”
“She comes from money, Mad.”
“So it is about the money, then? I mean, I have money and you don’t
mind hanging out with me. I think I’m offended.”
“It’s not just about the money. She comes from a family that means
something. She has a legacy to protect. Meanwhile, my mother is trying to
get as much money out of me as she can. When she couldn’t get more, she
slipped me her drugs and got me arrested and almost thrown out of college,
and on top of all that, I just found out my father never wanted me, and my
grandmother lied to me half my life.”
Done with the conversation, I push off the ground. I’m still slightly
irritated, and I have yet to eat my dinner, which I completely forgot about.
“Well, I still think you’re an idiot.”
I turn around to face Maddox. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Maddox starts to push the glasses up his nose, but
remembers he doesn’t have them, so he lets his hand fall back down.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Because I’m trying to do the right thing?”
 How is that being an idiot?
Maddox shakes his head. By the look on his face, you’d think he’s
talking to an unreasonable child. “Because you’re not letting her make her
own decision.”
“What decision is there to make? She’s so far out of my league, there’s
nothing to decide.”
Maddox watches me calmly, not in the slightest affected by my
outburst. “Then why don’t you let her make that choice?”
I turn around, running my fingers over my scalp.
He doesn’t get it. Of course, he wouldn’t. He’s the perfect guy. The guy
any girl would be lucky to have. The guy she could rely on and take home
to meet her parents.
The kind of guy I’ll never be.
“Like you’re one to talk about decisions. I don’t remember hearing you
give Alyssa a choice to make.”
Maddox presses his lips in a tight line.
Shit.
“Maddox, I’m—”
He shakes his head. “You don’t have to say anything.”
“Yes, I do. It was a shitty thing to say.”
“It was. There’s no choice to give to Alyssa. She’s my friend. My best
friend. And she’s in love with somebody else.”
“I’m sorry, Mad.”
He shrugs. “It is what it is. She doesn’t see me that way, never has.
Maybe if things were different, before…” He shakes his head. “Don’t sell
yourself short, Zane.”
“She deserves better.”
Pulling my gloves off, I return them to their place, ready to get out of
here.
“But what if she wants you?”
Maddox slaps me on the shoulder and starts walking away, but stops
after a few steps. “Zane?”
“Huh?”
I lift my head and before I can even register what’s happening, his fist
connects with the corner of my mouth. My head snaps back, and my hand
flies to cover my throbbing lip. “Fuck.”
“That’s for talking shit about Alyssa.”
 “Couldn’t you at least give me a warning?”
“You should have thought better before opening your mouth.” He
continues climbing up the stairs. “If I were you, I’d put some ice on that.”
“Thanks for that.”
My head is throbbing from the impact. I slide my tongue over my lower
lip. I can feel the bruised flesh pulse, and there is a slight coppery taste on
my tongue.
Great, just what I needed. Not only is it bruised, but it’s also busted.
Sighing, I climb the stairs to get some ice, just when the doorbell rings.
I listen, hoping Maddox will at least open the door after punching me in the
face, but no such luck.
The doorbell rings again, the irritating sound echoing around the house
and making my head pound even harder.
“I’m coming!” I wipe at the corner of my mouth. When I look down, I
find a red smear on the back of my hand. “What the fuck is the rush?” I pull
open the door expecting to find one of the guys on the other side, but it’s
somebody completely unexpected. “Mr. Mitchell?”
Rei’s father looks up from his phone and does a double take, his gaze
falling on my busted lip. “I’m not even going to ask.”
“Sir?” I ask, when in reality what I want to ask is what the fuck are you
doing here.
He pockets his phone, giving me his full attention. “The Nationals start
in just over an hour, and I promised my daughter I’d be there.”
What the fuck?
Like I needed a reminder of that. I’ve been staring at the clock all day
long, a knot in my stomach.
“I don’t understand,” I finally say.
“I’ve been made aware that I haven’t been…” There’s a slight pause, as
if he’s choosing his words carefully. “The most welcoming, when it comes
to our first introduction.”
“Any of our introductions,” I mutter dryly before I can think better of it.
“Excuse me?”
Screw this.
“Any of our introductions. That time you came to campus to visit Rei? I
was with her at the rink. She was excited to see you, but you didn’t seem so
excited to see her play a friendly game of hockey.”
 He looks at me for a moment, his eyes hard, lips pressed in a tight line.
For a moment I think I might have crossed a line, and he might punch me,
but instead he inhales deeply.
“I’m sorry for that. All of it. The thing is, Rei is my baby girl. She’s
been all I have in this life for her whole life, and sometimes, well, most of
the time really, it’s difficult for me to let go. I know she’s a young woman,
I’ve seen her grow up, but to me she’ll always be my baby. My only
connection to Sakura.” His voice wobbles a little at the name. “She’s so
much like her mother, it’s uncanny. And ever since I lost her, I promised
myself I’d do everything I can to protect our baby. Maybe, at times, I try
too hard to protect her.”
“I still don’t see how any of this is connected with me.”
Didn’t he just say he promised Rei he’d be there? She shouldn’t be
doing this alone. Not after everything she’s been through to get there. Not
after she’s been working so hard. Today is her day, her moment. He should
be there to witness it.
“I wanted to make sure I’m not the reason for your breakup.”
“Sir, this has nothing…”
“She loves you, you know,” he stops me before I can even finish. “Rei’s
in love with you, and I don’t want to be the one to stand in the way of her
happiness.”
“You can’t think I’m good enough for her. You helped me get out of
jail.”
His eyes harden. “I never said you’re good enough for her. No boy will
ever be good enough for my daughter. What I said is that Rei loves you, and
I trust her. I trust her instinct. I trust her heart.” He raises his brow. “Do
you?”
I shake my head. It feels like today everybody is determined to give me
love advice.
“My life is a mess, and I don’t want to pull her down with me.”
“Do you trust her heart?”
I close my eyes, my throat bobbing. “I do.”
“When I said Rei is like her mother, I didn’t just mean in appearance, or
her love for skating. It’s her soul. Just like Sakura, Rei sees good in people
she loves, and she’ll do anything she can to protect them.
“People told her she was crazy. Marrying an American,” he scoffs, a
faraway look in his eyes. “But we were in love, and that was the only thing
that mattered. I loved her—even after all these years, I still love her—and
for Sakura, that was enough. For her, I was enough.”
He blinks and clears his throat. “I’ll be in the car for the next ten
minutes. Not a second longer. If you want to come, this is your chance.”
He turns to walk away, but before he descends one step, he stops and
looks over his shoulder. “But if you don’t come, I don’t want to see you
near my daughter ever again. Puck is in your hand, Zane. What will it be?”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Is he here?” I ask Alexei as soon as I get off the ice after the warmup.
“Not yet.”
Alexei hands me my skate guards and jacket, which I put on
immediately.
“Dammit, he said he’d be here.”
Still, I take in the rink, hoping to find my father in the sea of unfamiliar
faces that are currently in the arena.
Jade and Grace are somewhere in the stands. They stayed the night at
my house since they wanted to stay for the long program part of the show
too. But no matter how much I love my friends, it’s not the same.
Zane’s not here.
Dad’s not here.
And I still haven’t landed one quad since leaving Blairwood.
My breathing turns ragged as the panic starts to set in. I need this
performance to be perfect in order to win, which means landing at least one
of the quads.
I don’t think I can do this.
Alexei puts his hands on my shoulders and gives me a little shake. “If
he said that, then he’ll be here. You need to get your head in the game and
stay warm.”
He pulls the wireless headphones off his neck and puts them on my
hand, pressing the button that automatically syncs to my playlist. It has one
song, the one I skate to for my long program, that plays on repeat.
Head in the game, he mouths and I nod.
Inhaling deeply, I hold the breath in my lungs for a few seconds before
letting it out.
I can do this.
I’ve stepped onto the ice a hundred times before. This is nothing new. I
can do this. I was born to do this.
With my back to the rink, I close my eyes and pull up the choreography
that I’ve been working on, letting the melody pull me in.
Four minutes.
Two hundred and forty seconds.
That’s all it’ll come down to.
And I’m planning to use every single one of them.

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“We won’t make it,” I pant as I run down the hallways of the arena, Mr.
Mitchell by my side the whole time. For a guy more used to wearing fancy
suits than jeans and sneakers, he knows how to keep a pace.
“We’ll make it.”
Loud applause spreads through the arena from behind the closed door. I
lift my pass in the air, but the guy standing at the door takes his sweet-ass
time opening it and letting us through.
The back is busy with skaters, coaches, and staff hurrying one way or
the other. Bypassing them all, we go straight for the tunnel and out into the
arena.
Mr. Mitchell must have known where she’d be because I see her as soon
as we enter. Rei’s there, standing at the door leading to the ice. Her back is
to me, her fingers gripping the railing tightly as she waits for her moment.
“Rei!” I call out, just as the announcer says, “Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki.”
She turns around, those big brown eyes wide as they land on mine. My
heart is pounding in my chest. The steady beat reminding me I’m alive, that
this is real.
She looks as gorgeous as ever in a purple, long-sleeved costume with
hundreds of little crystals glued to it.
We stare at one another, neither of us moving a muscle. It feels like an
eternity, but it can’t be more than a few seconds before Alexei touches her
shoulder and tells her something.
Time, fuck.
I run toward her and pull her into my arms. “You’re enough,” I whisper,
my lips brushing against her cheek as I inhale her sweet scent, letting it fill
my lungs. “Now go out there and show them how you defy gravity.”
I let go almost as abruptly as I grabbed her.
Rei lets out a shaky breath and takes a step back onto the rink. She turns
her back to us and skates straight for the middle.
Alexei steps in front of me, frowning at me. “Is this a game for you or
do you really want to destroy her career?”
“Alexei,” Mr. Mitchell says in a warning tone, his eyes glued to his
daughter.
“She hasn’t even started, and she’s lost points for time.”
 “It won’t matter.”
“How…”
The first beat of the song comes through the speakers, stopping Alexei
from whatever he wanted to say.
“She changed the song,” I whisper as Rei glides over the ice. I walk
around him so I can see her clearly.
He smirks, like he knows something I don’t. “She didn’t change it.
Figure skaters don’t just change anything. She’s been working on it for the
last month.”
C’mon, Pix. I grip my hands together. You can do this.
The way she moves is effortless, like she’s one with the blades and ice
under her feet. You can’t not look at her.
The choreography is slightly different from the one she used in her last
competition, but since I’ve learned all the elements by now, it’s not really
hard to follow. Since the tempo is much slower on this song, the first part is
more artistic, but as soon as the song picks up speed, she goes for it.
Rei leaps into the air, just as the chorus hits. I watch her body rotate in
the air, counting silently.
“Dammit,” Alexei mutters even before she lands. “It’s under-rotated.”
“You can’t know that,” I protest as Rei’s blade touches the ice and she
continues with her program.
He scoffs. “I’ve been in the sport for over thirty years, I know an under-
rotated jump when I see one.”
I shake my head, not in the mood to fight with him. “She’ll do it.”
“I really hope she will because otherwise we’re screwed.”
Rei goes into a spin, changing from a sit spin with an extended leg into
an upright one slowly. She’s like a tornado, spinning and picking up speed,
getting ready to unleash all the energy.
She comes out of the spin and continues dancing over the ice. There’re
a series of spirals and elegant footwork as she moves her way across the ice
at a fast pace.
I suck in a breath as Rei switches to moving backwards. And I’m not
sure if I’m the only one. The whole atmosphere changes in the rink as Rei
gets ready for her next jump. She’s going in an arc, her toe pick striking the
ice as she turns and jumps.
I grip the railing, unsure if my heart is speeding up or slowing down. It
could be either because the whole moment feels like it’s moving at a snail’s
pace.
C’mon. C’mon. C’mon.
My heart beats in time with each rotation she makes. Before I know it,
she’s back down, and applause spreads through the rink.
“She did it,” I say, watching her get into the second jump, and then the
third one, both of them triples, without missing a beat. “She freaking did it.”
“She did.”
The smile she has on her face is so big it could illuminate all this space
all on its own. I’m not even sure how she manages to finish with her
program, not after what she just did, but she does, and she lands another
quad-triple-triple combination, followed by one of those flying spins where
she holds onto the blade as she switches from the horizontal into a vertical
position.
The music finally dies down, and Rei lets go of her leg, and comes to a
stop.
The applause spreads through the arena, people getting on their feet.
Somebody even whistles, and when I look up I find Jade and Grace sitting
in the stands. She pulls her hands around herself, leaning forward as her
body shakes uncontrollably.
She did it.
She actually did it.
Rei straightens, her hand pressed against her chest, tears in her eyes as
she looks around like she still can’t believe what just happened.
I’m not sure I can either.
Rei Mitchell-Nagasaki, the first female US skater to land a quad jump in
a competition.
As if I needed more proof just of how extraordinary she is.
Her eyes meet mine across the ice. She holds my gaze, and the rest of
the rink, all the people and noises, fade into the background.
She wipes away the tears from her cheeks and does a few more bows
for the public before she skates toward the door and straight into my arms.
Not her father’s.
Not Alexei’s.
Mine.
I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her in the air. “You were
amazing out there, Rei. Absolutely amazing.”
 She burrows her head in the crook of my neck, her body trembling
slightly. “I still can’t believe I actually did it.”
“You did. And it was breathtaking.”
Rei pulls back and cups my cheeks. Her makeup is heavier than usual,
but it only accentuates the deep brown of her irises. “Did you mean it?” Her
tongue darts out, sliding over her lower lip. “What you said earlier… Did
you mean it?”
“You’re enough, Rei.” Sliding my hand to the nape of her neck, I pull
her down so our foreheads are touching. “You’ve always been enough. I’m
not sure if I’ll ever be good enough for you, but I know I’ll do my best to
try because I’m done fighting these feelings. I love you, Pixie.”
“I l-love you too.” A tear slides down her cheek and I swipe it away, not
letting it fall. I never want to see her cry because of me. “To me you were
always enough, Zane. I never cared about the color of your skin, or where
you come from. I know you, I know your heart, and for me that’s enough.”
Then she kisses me. Out there, in front of everybody, the new US
National champion kisses the boy from Ashton Heights.
She might have won the gold, but I got her, and no victory has ever
tasted sweeter.

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FIFTY

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“I’m going to be here in the morning too, you know?” Zane says,
chuckling.
“I know, but I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep, anyway. Too much
adrenaline.”
“Still?”
“Still.”
My body might be tired to the bone, but my mind is still going a mile a
minute. It hasn’t stopped since I saw Zane standing in the arena.
He actually came.
And okay, maybe a part of me was worried that when I wake up, I’ll
realize this whole thing was just a dream.
“I wanted to show you something.” I tug at his hand, pulling him toward
the terrace.
“Outside? You realize it’s ten in the evening, right?”
“Yes, I do.”
The competitions usually last all day long, with different groups having
to finish their programs, and then the exhibition part in which everybody
participates. And then, after all was said and done, Dad decided he wanted
to take us all to a restaurant to celebrate my victory. They all went up to bed
as soon as we got home, but I couldn’t bring myself to call it a night. Not
just yet.
“You’ll like this, I promise.”
I flick the switch and pull him outside just as the reflectors come to life.
“You have your very own rink?” Zane asks, his brows shooting up when
he sees it. “In your house?”
“Technically, it’s my backyard, but yeah. A birthday present, for my
tenth birthday.”
Zane looks at me. “You know kids usually get a bike or some game?”
“Well, I never learned how to ride a bike.”
“You’re joking.”
I chuckle. “I’m afraid not.”
I walk down the steps and toward the rink, Zane following after me.
“I was hoping we’d get to skate together here, but then you left early.”
When I get to the railing, I turn around to face him. “Why did you come
back today, Zane?”
He runs his hand over his face and joins me. “Because I realized what
an idiot I was for pushing you away.”
I cup his cheek, sliding my thumb over his bruised lower lip. “All on
your own?”
“I might have had some help,” he admits and pulls my hand back.
Turning it around, he presses his mouth against my palm in a gentle kiss. “I
have issues, Rei. A shit-ton of them.” Our hands fall down by our sides, but
he doesn’t let go. “I didn’t have an easy life growing up, and I’m not saying
that to make you feel bad, it’s just the way it was. I lived with my mom and
whoever her current boyfriend was. I never knew my father, and she was
never overly interested in me, leaving me to deal with things on my own
until she needed something from me. She ended up in prison when I was
sixteen, which is when I started living with Hayden’s family.”
“The woman from that night…”
Zane nods. “She’s my mother. She’s been back on and off since August.
Always asking for more money.”
“And you kept giving it to her?”
That would be so much like him, giving until there’s nothing else left of
him. Always putting other people first, even when they don’t deserve it.
Don’t deserve him.
“I stopped a while back, which just made her angrier. That night, when
we went to get Darius? Somebody probably saw me in Ashton Heights, and
it got back to her, so she came looking for me, but when I didn’t have
anything to give her, she went ballistic. I don’t know how much you heard
that night?”
“Bits and pieces.” The entire scene still seems so surreal to me, no
matter how many times I tried to go over it in my mind. “I honestly didn’t
know what to think. First you dropped the breakup on me, and then she
came out of nowhere…”
“We exchanged some words. She never liked G—” He swallows as if it
physically hurts him to say it. “Grams. I never knew why exactly. Well, it
turns out there was a reason for that.”
I tighten my grip on him. “What reason?”
Zane’s serious gaze meets mine, and for a while neither of us says
anything. Zane’s tongue flicks out, sliding over his lower lip. “Because
she’s my grandmother. My real grandmother.”
 “What?”
Zane chuckles, but there’s no amusement in his tone. “Welcome to my
fucked-up world.”
“But why would she do that? Why would she tell you after all these
years?”
It just makes no sense.
“Because she knew how much it would hurt me.”
He turns toward the rink. I step next to him, wrapping my hand around
his arm. “That’s seriously fucked up.”
“That’s Candie for you.” There’s a slight pause. “You’re not going to
ask who he is?”
I lean my head against his arm. “Only if you want to tell me.”
“It’s not like it’s a secret or anything. It’s Kevin.”
Kevin.
I mull over the name for a moment, trying to figure out why it sounds
familiar.
“Hayden’s uncle,” Zane adds.
I pull back and turn him to face me. “You’re joking.”
“I can only wish.”
“So you and Hayden are…”
“Cousins, yes.”
“Wow.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
Zane shrugs. “There’s nothing to say, really.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“Not yet. I talked to G-Grams.” He stumbles over the last word, and
shakes his head. “Is it weird that now that I know she’s actually my
grandmother, it feels weird calling her that? She knew, Rei. All these years
she knew I was her grandson, and she never said a word.”
“I’m so sorry, Zane.”
“No, I’m sorry.” Zane shakes his head. “I never wanted to pull you into
my mess, and that’s exactly what happened.”
“But that’s the thing, Zane. I don’t care about your mess. I’ll take it with
my hands wide open if it means I get to have you. You’re the first person
who made me feel like me. When I’m with you I’m not just one part of
myself, I’m all of them combined and more. You make me want to be more.
And when I say I want you, I mean it. I want all of you.” I place my hand
on his chest, right over his heart. “All the broken, dark pieces. I love every
single one of them. The little boy from Ashton Heights. The troubled teen
without a place in this world. A young man who found his way and is
building a bright future for himself. I want a loyal friend. I want the big,
protective guy. I want the guy who believes I can do anything I set my mind
to. I want you, Zane West. Every. Single. Part. Of. You.”
I tap his chest, enunciating each word. Tears glisten in my eyes. I blink,
and one of them falls.
“That’s good, because I was dead serious earlier. I love you, Rei. With
every broken, jaded part of me.” Zane wipes the tear away, but more start
falling down. “Don’t cry, Pix. Just don’t cry.”
A choked laugh comes out of my lungs. “I can’t stop.”
“Well, I can’t watch you cry.” He brushes his lips against my cheek, and
then the other, brushing the tears away with his kisses.
I wrap my arms around him and pull him down. “Kiss me, Zane.”
His lips brush against mine, soft at first, but with each swipe of his
mouth our kiss grows stronger, needier.
Finally, Zane pulls back, his breathing labored. He presses his forehead
against mine. “I mean it, Rei. I love you, and I’ll make sure to show it to
you every single day. For as long as you’ll have me.”
I skim my fingers over his cheekbone. “Then you’d better get ready, it’s
going to be a long ride.”

OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

OceanofPDF.com
REI
“Why does this feel like déjà vu?” Jade huffs as she carries a suitcase up the
stairs next to me.
“Because it is?” I offer, tightening my grip on the suitcase in my hand.
People give us curious looks as they pass by, but I ignore them all.
“I told you not to do anything rash.” Jade shakes her head. “Thankfully,
next year we can live off campus so we’re getting an apartment on the first
floor.”
“You know there’ll be people jumping over your head all day long then,
right?”
“Fine, in a building with an elevator. No people jumping on my head,
and I don’t have to carry things on my own.” She puts the suitcase down
when we get to our floor. “While we’re on carrying, why is your boyfriend
not helping? Shouldn’t he be groveling his way into your good graces? I
think moving you back into the dorm would be the perfect start.”
“He went home.” I place my own suitcase down and look up at her. “He
wanted to talk to Kevin.”

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE
“Why?”
Kevin lifts his head from under the hood of the car, barely glancing at
me before he returns his attention back to the engine. “Why what?”
“Why let her keep me when you clearly never wanted me?”
“Have you ever told her something and had her actually listen?” he
asks.
The question almost seems rhetorical. I’m not sure whether he expects
me to answer, so I say nothing.
Kevin keeps looking at the engine, checking different parts of it. I stand
there in silence, waiting, although I’m not even sure for what. He hasn’t
denied it. He really didn’t want me. If he did, he’d have done something,
said something in these last few years.
I don’t even know what I expected.
This was a mistake. I start to turn around just as Kevin talks.
“The thing is, even if I’d asked her not to take you in, she wouldn’t have
listened. Elizabeth Watson always did and will always do what Elizabeth
Watson thinks is best, regardless of how that affects people surrounding
her.”
“If she hadn’t taken me in, I would have ended up on the streets when
Candie got hauled to prison.”
“That’s why I didn’t say shit when she brought you in, no matter how
much I didn’t like it. She thought if you were close, maybe I’d get to know
you and change my mind. But the thing is, I wasn’t born to be a father. Not
twenty years ago, and not today. So if you’re here, hoping for a happy
family reunion, you’re wasting your time.”
“I’ve survived twenty years without a father,” I grit through clenched
teeth. “I can survive more.”
Kevin looks at me, the eyes that I’ve been looking at in the mirror every
day of my life staring right back at me. “Then why are you here?”
How did I not see it before? Now it all seems perfectly clear. It was
right there, in front of my very nose all this time, I was just too blind to
notice it.
“Because I want answers.” I’ve been thinking about it since that night I
got drunk with Hayden. The night I found out who my father is. “I want to
know who I am and where I come from so I can put my past to rest and
finally move on.”
I want that. Not just for me, and my peace of mind, but for Rei too. I
want that for us. For a future I hope we get.
Kevin thinks about it for a moment. He takes the dirty towel and wipes
his hands, nodding. “What do you want to know?”
“How did you meet Candie?”
“Party my first year of college. It was just before finals. The pressure
was high. The pressure was always high in my family. My brother was
always the perfect child. There were expectations and you were supposed to
meet them or else…” He waves his hand. “So I went to this party, tried to
blow off some steam, and she was there. Candie West. She was beautiful
and wild and everything my family would disapprove of, which made her
that much more attractive.
“It would be easy to say she was my downfall, but really, I started
falling way before I met her. Drinking way too much, experimenting with
drugs to take the edge off; it all just increased afterward. When I returned
home for break, I was already too far gone. I dropped out of college and I
had this huge fight with my family. I disappeared for a while. Afterward I
found out she tried to call me, tell me she was pregnant… She even stopped
by my house. Not sure how she found it, but Mom didn’t believe her, so she
sent her out on her way.”
“Where were you?”
“Around. Worked enough so I could buy booze and drugs, pay for a
shitty apartment in an even shittier part of town.” He shrugs. “Until I
needed more drugs than I could afford. I lost the place, got roughed up
when I couldn’t pay my increasing debt. I went back home to ask my
parents for help. They told me they’d do it, if I got cleaned up, so I agreed.
Even I wasn’t stupid enough to risk my neck. I had a shitty life, but I wasn’t
ready to die.”
“Did you get cleaned up?”
Kevin chuckles humorlessly. “Does an addict ever get cleaned up?
“Mom found out about you when I was in rehab for the second time.
She came to me, asking what I wanted to do, and I told her the truth—
nothing. I wanted to do nothing. If Candie was stupid enough to keep you,
she could also feed you.” He looks up at me, brows raised. “Had enough of
family history yet?”
 I look at him, the mocking tilt to his lips, an almost wild look in his
eyes. His pupils are slightly dilated. Just buzzed, not full-on drunk. Not yet,
anyway.
What the hell am I even doing here?
I shake my head and turn around to leave. I’m almost at the door when
he starts talking again.
“There was one time. I came to one of your games. I’m not even sure
why, but I wanted to see you play. I was tempted to tell you the truth, but I
changed my mind.”
“Why?”
“I realized you were doing good on your own, kid. It would be selfish of
me to destroy everything you’ve been working for. I’m a selfish man, but
even I have my limits.”
I nod my head. “I won’t be coming back.”
“I never expected you to.”
With that, I continue outside to the truck. Hayden offered to go with me,
but I had to do this on my own. I climb inside, and just watch the garage in
front of me for a while, then I turn the key and pull out, not once looking
back.

“Doesn’t the fact that you just won Nationals mean you can actually slow
down and rest for a moment?” I ask as I enter the rink.
When Rei didn’t pick up, I knew exactly where I’d find her, and as
always, I was right.
“No rest for the wicked. Not with how intense the next few months are
going to be.” She skates closer, stopping at the railing in front of me, a soft
smile on her lips. “How did it go?”
“I…” I look out to the rink before turning my attention to her. “Don’t
know. Is that weird?”
Rei cups my cheek, her fingers grazing over my skin softly. “It’s
normal. I love my mother even though I never met her, and I know she
loved me too, but if I got a chance to talk to her right now, I’m not sure I’d
know how to deal with it. What I’m saying is, there’s no right way, or a
perfect formula to deal with this situation.”
 “At least I know what happened.” I shrug. “There’s that.”
“Does it make you feel better? Knowing?”
“That my father never wanted me?”
Rei’s smile falls down. “I’m so sorry, Zane.”
“It’s okay. It makes cutting the ties easier, I guess. He said he was never
meant to be a father. And I’ve lived without one for so long I don’t know
how to have one even if he wanted to try.”
“Did you talk to her?”
I shake my head. “I thought about it, but… I’m not ready. Not yet.”
I don’t know if I can ever forgive Grams for what she’s done. Time will
tell I guess, but right now, I’m not ready. Not yet.
I tuck a runaway strand of hair behind Rei’s ear. “Hayden was at her
place recently, he told her I needed time.”
“She loves you, you know. She thought what she did was for the best.”
“I know, doesn’t make it an easier pill to swallow.” I let out a shaky
breath and pull back. “But enough about that. How about you share your
rink with me, Miss Mitchell-Nagasaki?”
I walk to the door and step onto the ice.
Rei smiles, skating backward. “Oh yeah? Are you planning to stick to
your side of the rink, Mr. West?”
I chase after her until I have her in my arms, her little body pressed
against mine. “I wasn’t planning on it.”
I take her hand in mine, our fingers intertwining.
“You’re interrupting my practice time.”
“Are you going to send me to the sin bin?” I lean down, brushing my
nose against the side of her neck. “I guess I better make that penalty worth
the punishment, huh?”
She turns to the side, our noses brushing together. Her eyes fall down to
my lips. “Yeah, you better.”
I capture her mouth with mine, slow and sensual. “I love you, Rei.”
She wraps her hand around my neck, her fingers dancing over my nape.
“I love you too. Every single part of you, Zane. Just the way you are.”

OceanofPDF.com
EPILOGUE

OceanofPDF.com
ZANE

Qualifications for the Winter Games

“Damn, I’m so sorry, Pixie.” I pull her in for a hug as soon as she gets off
the ice. “I know how much you wanted this.”
She’s been working on a quadruple Axel as much as Alexei would
allow her, which wasn’t as much as she would have liked, but still. After all
the research I’ve done on the mechanics of figure skating, I could
understand his reservations. That doesn’t mean we’re getting along. I’m
tolerating the guy because he’s the best out there, or at least that’s what Rei
keeps saying, and I believe in Rei.
If she thinks she can do this, I know it’s not a matter of if, but when.
Because sooner or later, she’ll land that quad Axel and write her name in
history.
Rei shrugs, pressing her cheek against my chest. “There are still the
Winter Games.”
“There are still the Winter Games,” I agree, rubbing my hand up and
down her back.
“Well, if they take me on the team.”
I cup her cheek and tilt her head back. “They’d be crazy not to take you
on. You’re the best out there.”
“One of the best. Those Russian girls are out of this world.”
“Even so, they could learn how to do a backflip and I’d still think
you’re the best.”
Rei laughs and jabs her finger in my chest playfully. “But then I’d also
be the winner since that’s not allowed.”
“Come on, Rei.” Alexei offers her a jacket. “They’re going to show
your final score.”
Rei sighs, but slips her hands in the sleeves and zips up the jacket.
“Duty calls.”
She rises on the tips of her toes—or in this case, skates—and presses
her mouth against mine. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” I whisper against her mouth. “Although you don’t need it.
You’ve already shown them what it means to defy gravity. And no matter
what happens today, I love you, Pixie.”
“I love you too.” She starts to pull away. “Zane?”
“Yeah?”
“Promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“If they call my name, you’ll go with me.”
The corner of my mouth lifts. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

Thank you so much for reading Kiss To Defy! I hope you enjoyed Rei and
Zane as much as I did. If you want to find out if Rei made it to the Winter
Games, make sure to download your free bonus epilogue here. Blairwood
University is coming back in fall of 2021 with Grace Shelton as main lead
in Kiss Before Midnight (a free prequel) and Kiss To Remember.

If you’re new to Blairwood University, you can read Emmett and Kate’s
story in Kiss Me First, Hayden and Callie’s in Kiss To Conquer or Nixon
and Yasmin’s in Kiss To Forget.
Or if you’re more of a hockey fan, I have a mature YA/NA hockey
series just for you. Enter the world of Greyford High and fine out how one
year can change it all.

Stay in touch with Anna! Join Anna’s reader’s group Anna’s Bookmantics
or subscribe to newsletter and be the first to know all the latest updates!

OceanofPDF.com
 PLAYLIST

Skylar Grey - Everything I Need

Idina Menzel - Defying Gravity
Carrie Underwood, Ludacris - The Champion
Mr. Probz - Nothing Really Matters
Maren Morris - Better Than We Found It
Avril Lavigne - Birdie
Shawn Mendes - Wonder
Imagine Dragons - Whatever It Takes
Kzle Wesley, Madilyn Paige - Whatever It Takes (cover)
Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)
Michael Schulte - Waking Up Without You
Patty Smyth, Don Henley - Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough
Christina Aguilera - Loyal Brave True
UNSECRET, Ruby Amanfu - Fearless
Angelina Jordan - Million Miles
Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess
UNSECRET, Sam Tinnesy, Ivory Layne - Perfect Love
Olivia Lane - You Got Me
Sia - Unstoppable
The Script, will.i.am - Hall of Fame

OceanofPDF.com
 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

What a ride! I knew even before I started that writing this story wouldn’t be
easy. And it turned out I was right. Both Rei and Zane were tough nuts to
crack. Not only is this book heavy on the sports factor with all the details
about figure skating, which looks pretty when you watch it from the
sidelines, but includes more than I could ever imagine, it also deals with the
sensitive topic of racism in the United States.
I won’t tell you I’m an expert on the subject. I’m as far from an expert
as I could be. Not only am I a white woman, I’m a white woman who lives
in a small, predominantly white country in central Europe. I could count on
the fingers of one hand the number of BIPOC I’ve encountered in my
country. That number would rise a little higher when it comes to my travels.
What I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty is that I never, not
once, viewed and judged people based on their skin color. I look at people’s
hearts, because to me that’s the only thing that matters. It pains me, it really
does, to watch the news and see the coverage on the US and everything
that’s happening there. In my mind and in my heart, I just can’t understand
how such things can happen in a country like the United States of America,
that was built on the dream of liberty and equality for all people.
But even that’s not the reason I chose to write this story. If you’ve read
me in the past, you already know it. I simply love diversity. I wrote about a
blind character in Kiss Me First, about learning disabilities in Rules, about
body image and eating disorders in Habits. I wrote about alcoholism and
substance abuse; I wrote about sexual assault; I wrote about a Croatian
character, which might not be diverse for me, but it is to a lot of my readers.
 I do that because I love to write real-life stories; I love to give voice to
the things I believe matter and should be addressed more in our everyday
life. I write them because I want everybody to get their happily ever after,
because everybody deserves it. And I can only hope that I do it in a way
that’s respectful and that people can connect to my characters and their
stories. Because that’s the only thing I want. And I hope I succeeded in
doing that with this book, too.
I want to give a special shout out to Korrie Noelle for giving authors a
safe space to talk about diversity and what it means to write diversely, for
embracing us and helping us bring our stories to life. It’s thanks to her, and
her amazing group that I found a sensitivity reader for Zane’s character.
Thank you, Mel Walker, for taking the time to read this story and
addressing some issues I overlooked in the first draft. Thank you for
working with me to make Zane’s character, but also the characters that
surround him, better.
As always, I want to thank my beautiful beta readers for working with
me. This process would be so much harder without their input and all the
plotting they help me with. To Melody, Carrie, Nina and Summer - I love
you, my friends!
To my wonderful street team members, and all the bloggers who helped
me promote this book, thank you so much.
And to you, my readers. Thank you for reading my books and loving
these characters as much as I do.

Until the next book,

Anna

OceanofPDF.com
OTHER BOOKS BY ANNA B. DOE

New York Knights

NA/adult sports romance
Lost & Found
Until
Forever
Greyford High
YA/NA sports romance
Lines
Habits
Rules
The Penalty Box
The Stand-In Boyfriend
Blairwood University
College sports romance
Kiss Me First
Kiss To Conquer
Kiss To Forget
Kiss To Defy
Kiss Before Midnight (coming fall 2021)
Kiss To Remember (coming fall 2021)
Standalone
YA modern fairytale retelling
Underwater
Box Set Editions
Greyford High (book #1 - #3)
The Anabel & William Duet

OceanofPDF.com
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Anna B. Doe is a young adult and new adult contemporary romance author. She writes real-life
romance that is equal parts sweet and sexy. She’s a coffee and chocolate addict. Like her characters,
she loves those two things dark, sweet and with little extra spice.
When she’s not working for a living or writing her newest book you can find her reading books or
binge-watching TV shows. Originally from Croatia, she is always planning her next trip because
wanderlust is in her blood.
She is currently working on various projects. Some more secret than others.

Find more about Anna on her website: www.annabdoe.com

Join Anna’s Reader’s Group Anna’s Bookmantics on Facebook.

OceanofPDF.com