The Melon King – Vikram Seth

Characters
Narrator Two workmen
King Mason
Queen Architect
Two Sergeants Hangman
Three Courtiers Wiseman
One Counsellor Clown
Narrator: Peace, liberty and justice are the keys to establish an ideal and happy
state. Today's democracy is just an extension of the monarchal system of rule,
where the King’s word was divine and whatever he uttered was law.
Once upon a time there lived a just and placid King called IDIRISHA. Just as he
was, his state was supposed to be highly as ideal as one would ever want to
settle in his kingdom. But were his subjects wise? Did they select the right
successor? Let’s sit back and watch mindfully.
Scene 1
Location: King’s Court
Courtiers stand at the arrival of the King and Queen.
Sergeant 1: The righteous and the gentle King IDIRISHA with his beloved
Queen arrive in the court. All Attention!
Courtiers: Hail to thee, the epitome of Justice and Placidity! Hail to thee, the
King!
King: Be seated and pay proper attention to your king. As I am known to be
popular for my just and placid demeanor, I feel it as my moral responsibility to
look over the welfare of my subjects and interact with them daily.
Courtiers: Hail to thee! Hail to thee!
King: Listen to your king
Courtier 1: The Kingdom owes a lot to you my lord! Here speaks the majesty!
King: I proclaim that an ARCH has to be made extending to the main
thoroughfare
Queen: But king… why do you want this ARCH to be built?
King: Oh my queen, so that I can view my subjects clearly from there and give
them spiritual lessons, … Attendant!
Sergeant 2: Yes sir.
King: This order must be followed immediately without fail
Sergeant 2: As you say sir
Scene 2
Narrator: After a span of six months a beautiful and splendid arch was
constructed with the help of the architect and his talented team
Courtier 1: What a marvelous creation! now it's easy for our king to moving
around and look into people's grievances
Queen: King, the Builder must be rewarded
King: Of course they would be…
Courtiers: Long live the king… Long live the king…
Queen: Attendant
Sergeant 1: Yes, majesty
Queen: We would like to celebrate its completion
Sergeant 1: Your wish is my command…
Scene 3
Dance by Courtiers, Builders and Architect.
Any music for 1:30 minutes
King and Queen seated on the Throne.

Scene 4
King: Now, I shall address my subjects from this marvelous Arch. (Moving to
the arch) (Gets hit by the arch)
Queen: Oh God! The king is hurt… The curse follows the fate of the maker…
Get him medical aid…
King: No, I do not need any medical aid. I just want the immediate hanging of
the person who made this arch. Where the hell are those damn workmen? Bring
them before me.
Queen: The guards have already been sent to call those workmen.
King: I want the culprit to be hanged.
Queen: Surely… Hanging will follow your just enquiry, my King!
Scene 5
Courtiers on the seat. Enquiry begins.
Sergeant 1: Here are the workmen my lord!
Workmen: Your majesty!
King: So… are you those wretches, who made that arch?
Workman 1: We are innocents… We have not done anything…
Queen: Innocents! How?
Workman 2: My lady… We did as it was directed by the Chief Builder.
King: Ah! then bring the chief builder to me
Sergeant 1: Here's the chief builder my lord
Chief Builder: Your majesty!
King: Ah what do you have to say for yourself
Chief Builder: My lord, … it's not at all my fault. The Mason is to be blamed
who did not take care of the size of the bricks
King: Ah! get that mason, … I want his hanging…
Sergeant2: Here is the mason my lord
Mason: Your majesty
King: Ah… speak in your Defense…
Mason: It's not my deed. I'm the poor fellow who follows architect. The
architect needs to be blamed
King: ah… ah… ah… Where’s that architect? Summon him to my court
Sergeant 1: Here's the architect, my lord…
King: Say for yourself… Say something…
Architect: My lord… you have forgotten that it was all due to that last-minute
changes you made in the planning… so it is not at all my fault… My lord…
King: Damn it… Neither the workers nor the Builder… neither the Mason nor
the architects… ah… this is all beyond my understanding… I need the advice of
the counselors
Counsellor: Yes, my lord…
King: What do you suggest on this matter?
Counsellor: I think the arch should be hanged… as it banged your head
Queen: But how can we hang the arch, which touched the royal head. Isn’t it the
insult of the Royal Crown?
King: Bring someone to me who can give the right advice.
Courtier 3: My lord, there is an old wise man who can give the right advice
King: Attendant bring that wise man respectfully to my court
Sergeant 1: Yes, majesty…
Scene 6
Sergeant 1: To the wise man - this way, sir
Wise Man: See according to the Royal Decree somebody must be hanged.
People are growing restless as they want some hanging… Prepare a noose and
whoever fits into that noose must be hanged to prove the King is just and placid.
King: Well said, wise man! … Attendant… Go and get the noose…
Sergeant 2: As you say, sir.
King: Wise man… please be a part of our court. Bless you King… bless you
Hangman: your majesty
King: proceed
Sergeants 1 and 2 dragging one by one to the noose from the workmen to the
architect.
Workman 1: please let me go brother… pardon me…
Hangman: too short
Workman: Thank God
Workman 2: okay… please have mercy… I am innocent… please let me go…
no I don't want to die…
Hangman: lucky fellow
Workman 2: Thank God
Mason: Have mercy… please… please… leave me
Hangman: just saved
Courtier 4: The people want a hanging… the hanging must be done….
Courtiers together: We want hanging… we want hanging
Narrator: Each person in the kingdom was tried… but nobody fitted the noose
and then came the turn of the king himself…
King: I can do anything for my subjects… Now, I shall try the noose as I am the
only one left…
Queen: No king… you can't do this… you can't leave me alone…
King: No, I have to do this… This is my duty…
Queen: I… I… I can't be at this site
Courtiers Together: Long live the king… Long live the king…
Hangman: It fits the majesty… Farewell, my queen… farewell courtiers…
farewell this kingdom… ah… (The King is hanged) Black out
Scene 7
Courtier 4: Now the problem is… who will be our next king?
Wiseman: Listen to me… listen to me… According to the Royal custom, the
first person who passes by the city gate, will appoint the king
Sergeant 1: Sir, this fool passed through the city gate just now.
Wiseman: Leave him here…
(To the clown) Son, the crown has been deprived of a king. Who shall be
crowned our next king
Clown: melon…
Courtiers: melon?
Wiseman: The throne needs an heir. … Who shall be our next heir?
Clown: melon…
Courtiers: melon?
Wiseman: The city needs someone to rule over them. … Who shall be our next
ruler?
Clown: melon… melon yo… yo… melon
Courtiers: Melon… How?
Wiseman: Oh! this is the Royal custom… I have to crown this melon as our
new king
Courtiers: Long live the melon king… Long live the melon king…
Clown: melon… yo… yo… melon… yo… melon yo…
(Wiseman crowns the Melon on the Throne)
Narrator: Thereafter the city was named as the melon City. The story is a witty
jab at powerful people. It has mocked the notion that it makes no difference to
people, who their ruler is. The righteous and gentle ruler allows people to live in
peace and liberates their minds. Wise Citizenship implies choosing the Right
Ruler.
~The End~