Techniques toward Forgiveness

Myrah Mubbashir (0065)

Forgiveness therapy may help some individuals who have experienced harm at the hands of
someone else release anger, heal relationships, and work towards positive outcomes such as self-
healing, self-compassion, self-empowerment, and self-liberation.

Forgiveness therapy often focuses on helping an injured person let go of the past and learn to
move forward. Practicing and seeking forgiveness may not be about absolving those who hurt
you from their past actions. The purpose of this therapy instead typically focuses on helping you
heal from traumatic or harmful feelings.

It may feel unjust to work to forgive those who have wronged you but forgiving others can have
tangible benefits for your well-being. Research published in the journal Trauma, Violence, &
Abuse by Akhtar S and Barlow J. “Forgiveness Therapy for the Promotion of Mental Well-
Being” shows that forgiveness interventions can reduce depression, anger, hostility, and stress
while increasing positive emotions

2. Acknowledge your feelings

Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate precisely what is not
acceptable to you. Then tell the therapist about it. The therapist encourages the individual to
explore and express their emotions related to the hurt or betrayal. The person might say, "I feel
angry and betrayed because of what happened.”

1. Self-compassion

Use positive affirmations to counter negative self-talk. Remind yourself of your worth, strengths,
and the progress you are making in the forgiveness process. For example, "I am deserving of
forgiving and letting go, and I am working towards healing." Treat yourself with the same
kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Understand that everyone deserves
liberation, including yourself, and that it's a part of being human.

3. Making a pact with yourself/ claiming back power

Make a commitment to yourself to do what you must do in order to feel better. You need not
continue to suffer because of some difficult situation. Remind yourself that you deserve to feel
better and at peace. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else. No one even needs to know
about your decision. A therapist teaches the client about the concept of power and claiming
power over their lives.
4. Cognitive restructuring:

Get the right perspective on what’s going on. Recognize that your primary distress is coming
from your hurt feelings now, not what happened in the past. Challenge and reframe negative
thought patterns associated with the offense. Help individuals replace negative thoughts with
more positive and constructive ones.

Most people constantly wish for seeking revenge and think that only seeking revenge will bring
them peace when in reality it only ends up hurting themselves more.