Predicted number of chapters: 20

Chapter 10: The turning point

 THE COSMOS

“There is something wrong with your head.”

“That’s kinda offensive, love.”

--
 ⁙

She was the moon.

She shined so brightly; it was impossible to not stare at her once seen. On dark days, I yearned
to look at her for some light, but she hid. I searched every corner, wandered around like a lost
boy because that’s who I was without her. Lost.

She hid. You wouldn’t be able to chance a glance at her in the broad daylight if she didn’t want
you to. Sometimes, she’ll come out. Just a peek.

She moved like the wind. She’s always there, you just don’t see her. She’ll whip past you so
fast; you’ll wonder what that was before forgetting about it. It’s just the wind anyways.

On days, she’ll be calm. Slowly weaving her way through crowds – unnoticed by most. A slight
brush of her arm against mine, a whiff of her scent, a subtle smile. She’ll act small, but she has
the power to destroy.

She held the universe in her eyes. Honey swirled in her shining brown orbs like galaxies,
stardust sprinkled inside them. You’re drawn to her like gravity, and once lured in you’ll never
let go. Even if you tried.

Believe me, I know.

 I

“Good morning, Elena!”

The brunette paused and looked at Nathan over her shoulder. Her lips tugged at the corners
as she cast a small smile, but her eyes held confusion.

Nathan wondered why. He had genuinely hoped she would someday be used to his presence.

“‘Morning.” she said with a nod, before moving along.

Nathan’s eyes widened. He feared he wouldn’t be able to catch her the rest of the day. Elena
tended to make herself unnoticeable at school. An iota of attention and she’ll be
uncomfortable. Which is why Nathan made sure she was never put in such a situation, but
also tried to make small talks with her.

“How are you today?” he asked, trying to catch a glimpse of her face through the curtains of
hair.

“I’m doing good,” she paused for a second or two, “How about you?”

“Me?” He asked dumbly. He had been so entranced with her voice he didn’t realise she was
continuing the flow of conversation today. God was with him. “Better now, actually. I’ve been
looking to talk with you.”

He sensed her posture going tense before he heard it in her voice. He cursed at himself inside
his head. To Elena, Nathan must’ve sounded like a clingy creep.

She cast her head down, further hiding her face. Nathan’s finger’s itched to brush away the
strands of her hair. “Shouldn’t you be in class right now?”

Oh god, she was shooing him way.

Nathan couldn’t help but let the disappointment show on his face as well as his body. His
shoulders slumped, and he forlornly dug his hands in his pockets. But her next words had him
halting in his steps.

“You have Literature with me right now, don’t you?” Elena seemed too cautious. Almost
hesitant. “Do you…maybe, want to walk together?”

Nathan’s heart jumped out of his chest. That’s what it felt like anyways. This was the first time
Elena was willingly spending more time with him. He believed he could frolic in the hallways
at this moment.

His eyes darted to how she fiddled with her fingers, scratching the side of her thumb.

“If you’re busy, I’ll just go by myself. It’s fine. I don’t want to force you.”

He realised he hadn’t answered yet, and found himself jumbling his sentences together, barely
coherent.

“No, no, no! I mean, uh, I’d love to go with you to class. Not in a creepy way, I just wouldn’t
mind going with you. To class. Yes, that’s where. Not anywhere else. Wait, that came out
wrong, I didn’t mean that.”
Thankfully, he cut himself off with a low groan, and ran a hand down his face, squeezing his
eyes shut. He didn’t want to see Elena looking at him like he was a madman. He was not a
madman, the girl’s presence just made him one.

Nathan wallowed in self-pity. He picked out every insult in his vocabulary and directed at
himself. Just what he needed. Humiliate himself in front of the one person that mattered. How
wonderful.

His ears perked up at the sound of a soft chuckle. He opened one eye to subtly glance at Elena,
only to have his breath catch in his throat.

Elena was pursing her lips, trying hard to stifle her laughter. Her head was faced away from
him. Nathan shook his head. She didn’t need to hide his smile from him, he would do
anything in the world to make her happy.

Though the prospect of having her laugh at him was not that appealing. But beggars can’t be
choosers – Nathan would take what he can get.

“You can laugh, you know,” he said in a teasing tone, cocking his head to the side. Your cheeks
flush like a rose when you do, and your eyes shine so bright. It’s fascinating.

Like always, he didn’t voice his thoughts.

Elena shook her head, refuting his suggestion and composed herself. She started walking
away, leaving Nathan starstruck behind.

Ten steps forward, she frowned at him. “You’re coming, aren’t you?”

Nathan adamantly nodded his head and rushed to her, chatting up as he walked all the way.
He took extra small steps and prayed that Elena wouldn’t notice.

They weren’t late by any means. Elena came super early to school for some reason which
Nathan didn’t care about. It only meant he would have more time with her. Even if he had to
wake up an hour earlier than necessary.

Now that he thought about it, he could never really stay away from her. On days she didn’t
show up to school, or he simply couldn’t talk to her because of their drastically different
schedules, he found himself sulking for most of the day.

Nathan sometimes questioned himself on why he acted so dramatic but found no answer.
What could he do, anyways? He was who he was.

That night, Nathan slept with a fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

***
 II

Nathan had just ditched a high-profile charity event gathering.

Not the most ideal of situations to be in, but the uptight behaviour of the people and the posh
façade he had to keep up was making it hard for him to stay in that hall.

Men wore ties that seemed to choke them at the necks and women wore dresses that hugged
their body to the point it seemed like second skin. Nathan was one of the men and his mother
and sister were part of the women.

It was an unspoken mandate – you must not breathe when in an important function.

But after some suffocating three hours, Nathan had just about had enough. He needed fresh
air, but even the open entryway behind the plaza was tainted with artificial essences. As if the
nauseating mix of expensive perfumes and deodorants inside wasn’t enough.

Nathan tugged at his collar, finding some relief and sighed. He wasn’t too far away from where
his family was, so in case they called him, he would be there in five minutes by walk.

He tilted his head up; the sky was entrancingly clear today – each star studded like a diamond.
A surge of loneliness surged through him, making him oddly feel off.

Nathan was never ‘alone’, but often, he felt lonely. He had friends, lots of them, but they – as
cruel as it sounds – seemed more like a distraction. A coping mechanism for Nathan to delude
himself to believe that he was not a pathetic, sad, angsty teen. Which he was not.

Nathan was stronger than that, and he had plenty of reasons to be happy.

He was born into a highly well-off family, loaded with riches and centuries of fortune. Sure, he
had an absentee father but his mother more than compensated for both parents’ positions. He
had an, albeit annoying, but a reliable sister who would (hopefully) never land him in serious
trouble.

His future was also secure. He would go to Ivy League, get a stable career and if all was lost, he
still had a stable backup to fall into. After all, he could always assist his sister – Delilah – in the
family business. It wasn’t the most favourable option to him, but not the worst either.

And in the end, he was still a kid. A stupid kid with a stupid crush on someone who would
never even bat an eye for him.

He had gotten used to that bitter fact. He wasn’t good enough for her anyways. Nathan could
hardly ever make her smile; how would he ever be able to cope with the enigma she was?

Sometimes, it was better to look from afar.

A rustling sound of the leaves caught his notice in the silence of the night. Nathan looked
around to pinpoint the source but ultimately failed. He wanted to shrug it off as just the wind
but found himself unable to do so.

It didn’t feel like there was a threat, but a vaguely familiar adrenaline rush sneaked up his
body. Finding something mildly interesting on this boring day was just what he needed. And
like every teenager in horror movies, he mindlessly looked around the barren area which
screamed danger.
There was a chill in the air, the kind which would have you speeding up your pace as you
walked home at midnight. Nathan could make out the chirping of crickets in the distance, but
that wasn’t what caught his attention.

A thump. Nathan whirled in his place and jogged towards the sound, trying his hardest to not
make his footsteps audible. For all he knew, it could be a stray dog minding its own business.
In that case, at least he’d have company tonight.

Something told him it wasn’t a dog.

A hard thing struck his foot just as he was reaching the area. Nathan looked down and picked
the small substance up.

“A pebble,” he rolled his eyes and threw the rock away, “I got excited for a bloody pebble.”

A wince sounded from the place he aimed at. Nathan paled. He had just hit someone.
Accidentally, but still.

As inconspicuously as possible, he treaded the rest of the way and peered through the bushes
on the other side.

The first thing he saw was the rock he had thrown. It was right there, in his line of sight,
acting all innocent by lying on the ground when it had clearly hit someone. Possibly on the
head.

Guilty culprit. He thought and glared at it.

Next, he saw a boy. Not more than the age of six standing with a concerned furrow of his
eyebrows. In the dark, Nathan couldn’t make up much about him, the luminance of the
flickering streetlamp only casting a delicate glow over him.

By his stance and the downward curl of his lips, Nathan panicked. He sincerely hoped it wasn’t
the small boy he had accidentally thrown the rock at. His conscious would swallow him whole
if that was the case.

Nathan squinted his eyes and shifted in his place to get more comfortable, and to have a better
look. It was then he noticed there was someone else there next to the boy – someone older. By
the petite form of the person, he assumed it was a girl. The little guy was rubbing the girl’s
hair and muttering words Nathan couldn’t hear.

Nathan almost died of a panic attack when he realised who it was. And he almost had a mental
breakdown when he realised, he had, after all, hit the person.

His conscious was going to eat him raw, spit him out, and eat him again.

He didn’t realise when he stood up and stepped over the shrubs to stand behind them. The
boy noticed him, but the girl had her back to him.

“Elena?” He called out, and almost cursed when her wide chocolate eyes met his.

She stood up immediately, almost protectively in front of the boy. As if she was scared the
person in front of her would cause any harm. Nathan barely stopped himself from recoiling
back in shock but his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” he decided to say, when Elena made no move, “Are you hurt?”
Elena scanned him from head to toe. And her eyes hardened. Suddenly conscious in front of
her, he did a quick review of what he looked like.

It was past midnight and Nathan was in a white button-down shirt with black pants. His
sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his blazer was nowhere to be seen. He had left it with
his mother.

His once neatly styled mop of hair was now a mess and he restrained himself from
haphazardly setting it in front of her. There could’ve been dust and mud on his pants from the
time he tripped on a twig while coming out. He prayed it was not visible to her in the dark.

Elena didn’t reply to his question. Her one arm was stretched behind her, holding the small
boy close to her. A physical reassurance that he was still there, Nathan presumed.

The funny thing was that Nathan had just come out for a breath of fresh air – and here she
was.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, and Nathan inwardly bristled at her cold tone.

The Elena in school was reserved. She stayed out of crowds and kept to herself. She didn’t
engage in any discussion and could never be found amid a confrontation.

Right now, though, Nathan saw a completely different side of her.

Elena was not shy or scared. She was alert, vigilant and fierce. To the point that she deemed
Nathan as a threat. Granted - he had just hit her with a rock. Nathan decided he was going to
hate himself forever or hurting her.

He didn’t mind this Elena. Not at all. He only found her even more endearing. Each glimpse of
every layer that she had only drew him in further. And that’s what terrified him. But he was
way past the phase of backing out.

“There’s, uh, there’s this family thing going on over there,” He found himself saying, his thumb
pointing over his shoulder in the direction, “I just got bored and decided to come out when I
heard something.”

He took a step forward and stepped on that pebble. Nathan glared at it again because it had
dared to hurt Elena. The said girl’s gaze went to the same object. She pointed at it.

“You threw that, didn’t you?”

Nathan cast his head down in shame and stared at her guiltily from under his eyelashes. “I’m
really sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Elena stumbled a little, and Nathan observed that the little boy had tugged her arm, making
her lose balance. He tried to look at the boy, but Elena side stepped and glared at him. Nathan
gulped.

She was adorable.

“Ellie, I want to go home.” The little guy said. A car revved past behind them on the main road.
Nathan noticed they were standing on the sidewalk – alone.

Elena further hid the boy, a silent command for him to not speak. Nathan felt his excitement
at seeing her die a little. She obviously wasn’t appreciative of his presence.
Ouch.

“Your brother? Hey, bud.” Nathan waved, hoping to ease the hostile atmosphere. Elena’s eyes
narrowed; she didn’t reply, neither did the boy.

“If that’s all, we’ll be taking our leave now.” She didn’t reward him with a nod, much less a
smile. She hauled the next cab which came their way and ushered the kid in before shutting
the door shut. Nathan stared at the car as it drove away.

Elena looked guarded. Something felt wrong about the way she acted tonight; it was eating
away at Nathan. And instead of asking her how she was or if everything was okay, he had
further provoked her shielded walls.

He realised that he could only pollute the free, pure wind.

That night, Nathan hated himself a bit more.

***
 III

Elena had been kidnapped.

That was the only plausible explanation Nathan could come up with for her absence.

It had been seven whole days since he had seen her last. He’s questioned about her
whereabouts from a few people. Not many, because then his obvious infatuation with her
would’ve been the latest topic on the gossip wheel.

He didn’t mind if people knew about his crush – he would actually really like that. Nathan
only feared that the talks would make Elena uneasy.

That was the last thing he needed after his mess-up. Which he still needed to fix.

She probably thinks I’m a weirdo who stalks her at night.

His inquiries with his batchmates had ended up with nothing.

Today was the eighth day, and Nathan was on the brink of losing of his mind. He was
anxiously looking everywhere, hoping for a glimpse of her.

A hand slapped him on the back, and he lurched forward. “Dude, you’ve been standing like a
statue since the past ten minutes.”

Nathan looked to his side. Adrien, a guy he sat with on lunch was bedside him.

He raised an eyebrow, “You good?”.

Nathan only nodded in response and waved a hand in the air. “Perfectly fine. Did you need
something?”

Adrien stepped back slightly. Nathan realised he wasn’t being very conversational and tried to
not come off as indifferent when Adrien asked if he was sure he was ok.

He grinned painfully, and showed off all his teeth, “Look. I’m happy!”

His friend didn’t look all too convinced. “Right…anyways, I heard you’re looking for
something? Can I help?”

Something? Nathan furrowed his eyebrows, confused, and went through anything that he had
lost.

Oh, right. Elena. She wasn’t a thing though; she was way beyond anyone’s imagination.
Nathan sometimes struggled to believe someone as perfect as her was real.

Nathan pondered over Adrien’s question for a moment. Would it be okay if he asked another
person? Elena’s absence was only distracting him, and he could use a little more assistance.

He knew Adrien enough to know that he would probably forget about Nathan’s enquiry in a
day. And would shrug it off like it was nothing.

“Well, I’ve actually been looking for a…friend.” The word sounded foreign on his lips,
especially when he spoke about the brown-eyed girl.

Adrien grew even more puzzled. Before he could comment, Nathan hastily added.
“We have a physics assignment we need to work on, but she’s been absent the past couple of
days. Elena Woods?”

Adrien seemed to be concentrating very hard, until something clicked. Hope bloomed in
Nathan’s chest. Clueless Adrien would’ve been the last person he would’ve thought would help
him.

“Think I know who you’re talking about. The quiet, pretty girl from English Lit right?”

Nathan nodded eagerly, but then composed himself. He answered once again with one curt
movement of his head.

“Yes. That’s the one.”

“But we don’t have any physics projects scheduled this semester?”

Pursing his lips, a strained chuckle left Nathan’s mouth as he shook his head. He dismissed
Adrien’s point and urged him to just answer him. His patience was running thin, but he didn’t
want to ruin his chances of getting information from his source.

God, he sounded like he was doing something illegal.

Adrien replied, and walked away from him, his words fading into nothing the farther he got.
“No clue, Nate. Anyways, you better get to the cafeteria if you don’t want the leftovers. I heard
the chips are really good today.”

The chips could go to hell and burn.

Nathan was frustrated. He ran his hands through his hair and kicked the floor like a child
throwing a tantrum.

The guilt was eating him alive. He hadn’t meant to hurt Elena with the rock. He hadn’t meant
to invade her personal space by merely his presence. He hadn’t meant to make her feel as if
she needed to guard herself from him.

Nathan was supposed to flatter her, not make her hate him.

He felt like the worst person in the world. Even more so than usual.

“We have a project due?”

Nathan’s heart came to a still and started accelerating the next second. He didn’t realise hadn’t
really breathed until she came, and thus the long heavy sigh that escaped him.

He smiled softly, not caring if she found him weird. “You’re here.”

She grew conscious under his unwavering gaze, and like every other time, hid. Nathan wanted
her to look him in the eye the way she had that unforgiving night. He would any day prefer
her to look at him with apprehension than not look at him at all.

“I’m sorry I intruded your conversation. I couldn’t help but overhear.” She shifted in her place
and looked anywhere but at him, “Did I miss an assessment?”

Nathan shook his head. He wanted to take a step closer but held himself back. The last thing
he needed was to mess up once more.

She frowned, “But I thought you said…”.

“I lied.” he admitted and finally looked away from her in embarrassment.

“Why?”

God, he was hoping she wouldn’t ask that.

He found himself rambling. Again.

“You were nowhere to be seen. It had been a long time and I thought something might’ve
happened, so I got kind of, I mean, sort of worried. I asked a couple of people if they knew
where you were, but they had no clue.

“I thought something might’ve happened to you, so yeah. I assumed you wouldn’t want people
to make up stuff about you, so I just used an assignment as an excuse. A non-existent
assignment.”

The cream tiles on the walls looked especially fascinating today. Nathan couldn’t seem to stray
his gaze from the blotch of green paint on the side.

He waited for Elena to laugh at him, mock him and call him delusional. He waited for the
words which would eventually stab him in the heart to come out of her mouth. He knew what
was going to happen any moment now.

Elena would be repulsed by him, tell him to never approach her again. She might as well yell
at him for being so adamant on clinging to her when she – obviously – couldn’t even stand his
face.

Hey mom, I got a restraining order put against me. Nathan wondered how his mother would
react to that.

But when he heard no response, Nathan dared to sneak a glance at her. Like always, once he
saw her, he couldn’t look away.

The sight pleasantly surprised me. And that was an understatement. Nathan could happily die
right then and not regret it.

Elena was blushing. That’s right, Nathan Henderson – the lovestruck fool – had made Elena
red in the face.

He blinked, thinking he had finally lost his sanity and was hallucinating. But no, Elena was
right there, with her face turned away from him and her arm blocking half her face.

He could see her doe-like eyes, which were glistening and firmly trained onto nothing in the
distance.

Nathan had always thought about how fun it would be to tease someone like Elena. He had
often imagined her embarrassed face and pictured himself to be smugly smirking.

But right now, Nathan was worse than her. He turned ten times her shade of crimson and
covered his face with his hands. He prayed that Elena didn’t look at him at this moment. It
was all too overwhelming.

To any third person walking in the corridor, this scene would look extremely suspicious. A girl
and boy – both a flustered mess but neither speaking a word.
Nathan thought he had messed up even more. Making Elena flush was an exemplary bonus,
but he feared this would make things awkward. Very awkward.

He didn’t know how to proceed. Nathan didn’t break the silence, afraid that he would turn
into a stuttering goldfish. That wasn’t a particularly appealing image.

Fortunately for him, Elena spoke first.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice muffled by the skin of her arm.

Still red, Nathan nervously glanced at her time to time. She was looking at him!!

He shook his head, “You have nothing to thank me for.” He frowned.

“I lied to people and asked around about you. I tried to indulge myself in your business even
when you made it clear that was a sensitive topic. And the rock. I also was an indifferent
douchebag in front of your brother…I’m sorry for that.”

After a pause, he added. “I’m also sorry I brought all that up again.”

Elena had her hands behind her back, and she was shifting on her toes every now and then.

“It’s not your fault I choose to be scared. You have nothing to apologise for. But I am grateful
to you if that even matters. Thank you for caring. Even if it’s just a smudge.”

Nathan snapped his gaze to hers and saw a hint of emotion there. His knees almost buckled
under the sheer intensity of her eyes.

For the first time, he didn’t see covered up humour. He didn’t see indifference. He saw the
raw, unscathed part of Elena Woods.

She was in pain, but it was his heart that ached.

He wanted to yell at her. Tell her that it wasn’t ‘just a smudge’ that he cared about her. But
just like her, he was scared. Terrified.

That night, Nathan tried to unravel the universe and miserably failed.

***
 IV

There was absolutely no way Nathan was going to allow Elena to avoid him after yesterday.

“I thought we were cool again,” he grumbled to himself, and huffed. Elena had just rounded a
corner, not even glancing at him.

“Hey, Mr. Grumpy Pants.” Adrien swung an arm around Nathan’s shoulder. “What’s got you so
pissy this fine afternoon?”

“It’s snowing outside, you call this a fine afternoon?”

Adrien thought to himself for a moment, keeping pace with Nathan’s long strides. “Touché,
mate. Is the weather the cause of your distress?”

Nathan mumbled out a no. Adrien dramatically sighed beside him. “It’s chips again today.
Honestly, they’re going to ruin the snack if they make it every time. Variety matters, you
know. Don’t you agree?”

“Definitely,” Nathan reaffirmed, just to play along. His thoughts were already straying away
from goddamn chips.

Adrien droned on about how at least they were trying out different shapes.

Nathan perked up again when Adrien put a hand on his shoulder. “Yo, isn’t that…”

He followed Adrien’s line of sight and his eyes fell on Elena, standing in front of her locker and
organising her books.

“Look, I found your partner!” Adrien beamed and then did the unthinkable. “Hey, Woods!
Elena! Nathaniel wants to talk to you!”

Horrified, Nathan scrambled away from Adrien’s grasp and frantically looked at her. She, like
him was frozen in place, her eyes wide. Nathan repeatedly cursed.

This was not good. This was not good. This was not good.

He was going to kill himself. But first Adrien.

In the spur of the moment, he smacked Adrien upside his head and sheepishly glanced at
Elena. Adrien mumbled a small ‘ouch’.

A quick observation of the scene had him almost quaking with fear. There were a lot of people
in the hallway. And Adrien’s rather random outburst had gained the attention of quite a
number. Most of them were staring with perplexed gazes while some merely glanced away.

Nathan tried to gauge Elena’s reaction. Would she be angry? Of course. She had every right to
be furious. This must’ve been beyond embarrassing for someone like her. Someone who
preferred to keep to themselves rather than be put under spotlight.

And to think Nathan was going to stop her from avoiding him. He just always had to mess up,
didn’t he?

But Elena – like he always thought – was an enigma. She was the entire sky while Nathan was
just a mere speck of dust. While Nathan was busy panicking, Elena had quietly zipped her bag
and hitched it up her shoulder.
Nathan swallowed. Is she going to turn away and ignore everything that happened?

But Elena smiled. She smiled at him, in front of the dozen people around and waved.

Nathan’s body and mind stopped working. He could barely function, but somehow passed –
what he hoped – was a resemblance of a charming smile.

Yeah right. It looked like he was grimacing.

Nathan shoved his non-existent pride aside and jogged up to her, intent on hearing her voice.

“Hi,” He grinned, genuinely happy now.

“Hi.” She greeted back and closed her locker, turning to face him completely.

“I-” He cleared his throat when his voice came out scratchy. God, he was a mess. Elena looked
so beautiful today, not that she didn’t every day. But right now, her hair was up in a neat
ponytail, with wavy strands framing her face.

Wow. Was all Nathan could think.

“I thought I creeped you out.” Nathan’s heart soared when Elena laughed at his expense. He
could hear that sound every day.

“Why? Because I acted ominously yesterday? You should be the one weirded out, Nathan.”

Nathan stopped breathing.

She said his name!

All of a sudden, there was a constant loop in his mind. Elena’s soft voice uttering his name
seemed to be chanting over and over again. Nathan didn’t understand why it felt so
exhilarating – such a little thing. But he realised that to hear Elena talk to him directly while
personally referring to him was a different kind of rush.

He could just die.

Nathan also noticed that Elena was happier than usual today. She was up for a conversation.
Hell, her eyes were glistening with playfulness and childlike enthusiasm. Also, she was making
jokes with him.

“Ah,” Nathan began, and awkwardly scratched his neck. Why did she have to be so pretty? “It’s
going to take a lot more than that to creep me out, I guess.”

Her smile didn’t falter. “I can see that.”

“Oh, and um,” Nathan continued, not wanting to have her leave just yet. “I’m sorry about
Adrien. He really doesn’t have a filter on his mouth.”

Elena’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What? He did nothing wrong, though?”

Nathan mirrored her action. “You weren’t uncomfortable?”

She scrunched up her nose and blew out a breath. It fanned Nathan’s face like a breeze.
“Worst things have happened. It’s fine.”

“No, I’m-”
“Nathan,” she cut him off and effectively made the boy stand shock still. “Stop feeling sorry for
every little thing. All the world’s follies aren’t on your shoulders.”

He couldn’t think of an appropriate response to that. Elena had just told him something he
didn’t think he would ever hear. How often did one be told that they didn’t need to worry?
That they didn’t need to please everything that had a breath?

Nathan never had that luxury. And it wasn’t until that moment that he realised that he needed
that. He was missing something he didn’t know he was looking for.

So, he blurted the first thing that came to his mind.

“I really, really, really want to hold your hand right now.”

Elena’s eyes widened. So did Nathan’s. Elena opened her mouth to say something but then
closed it. There was an awkward silence in the air, in which neither of them knew what to do.

Part of Nathan was hoping that she would grant him his wish. Like an angel. Another smaller
part hoped that the ground would open and swallow him whole.

Elena spoke first. “Why?”

That was the worst thing she could’ve asked. Nathan was already on the brink of having a
panic attack.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke. “I didn’t mean that – I mean, I did but- god, please ignore me.” He
closed his eyes shut as if it would block Elena’s image out.

“Can we please just forget the last two minutes happened?”

He heard an unintelligible sound, followed by a cough after which Elena spoke.

“Yeah, sure.”

He could hear the laughter in her voice. Nathan thanked the gods she took this as a joke –
when it was anything but. For once in his life, he was blissfully glad for Elena’s obliviousness.

Nathan looked back at her. And just like he predicted, Elena was highly amused.

“Thanks.” He spoke shortly, just wanted that embarrassing moment to be over and done with.
“Would you like help with your books?” he asked, when he noticed the giant pile in her arms.

“Very kind of you to ask,” she said, clearly holding back from teasing him. Nathan narrowed
his eyes half-heartedly at her. She smiled cheekily. “But I’ll be alright. See you later.”

She’ll see him later? Nathan was on cloud nine.

“Definitely.”

That night, Nathan had the best dreams ever.

 V

Once again, Elena was in a world of her own.

The library was scented like caramel, but Nathan seemed to crave the vanilla that tickled his
senses whenever she was near. The large hall hadn’t been cleaned in quite a while, hence the
occasional sneezes he had to control to maintain the deafening silence.

They had literature today and the task was to find a story that made them feel emotions they
couldn’t ever phantom. A story that touched their heart and weaved through it. A story that
made their blood pump, their veins strain, and their soul scream.

Nathan tried to find a certain Wood’s tale but unfortunately came up barehanded.

A sigh escaped his lips. He snuggled further into the temporary comfort of his own arms as he
laid with his head down on one of the many tables in this place. How could someone be so
perfect and not realise it? If Nathan was anywhere close to all that the girl in front of him was,
he would show it off to the world and never stop boasting.

Then again, Elena’s personality was also one of the many things Nathan admired.

He remembered the first day he saw her. She was sitting at the very back seat during a joint
assembly of their batch. Nathan found her funny. She wore a leather jacket in summers and a
beanie which covered her face. So, he sat next to her.

Nathan had expected, like any normal person would, that the girl next to him would at least
look at the new arrival, if not make small talk. But Elena was too much immersed in the stray
fibres of her band t-shirt – fiddling and playing with them as if they were the most fascinating
thing in the world.

To Nathan, she was the most fascinating thing in the world at that moment. But he barely
knew her, so he didn’t pay much mind.

He remembered the first time he noticed her. When a huge food fight broke out in the
cafeteria (courtesy of Nathan being clumsy), she had sighed. Closed her eyes and pinched the
bridge of her nose before walking out of the warzone with spaghetti in her hair and sauce
dripping her books. Nathan had stared at her then too.

After that instance, she was everywhere. Every time in a crowd, the cascade of brown hair,
often accessorised with a pin or a band caught his eye. Even outside the school premises, there
were times when Nathan caught Elena lurking around idly.

There was one time where he wondered if she was stalking him. How ironic.

But no. Elena was just someone who didn’t catch your eye at first. But once she did, God
forbid, you won’t be able to look away. You can’t.

He didn’t remember when his curious interest turned into infatuation.

Maybe it was the time her bag fell in the middle of the corridors and Elena stared at it
defeatedly. She had hoisted it up by sticking her foot in the strap of the bag and lifting her leg,
and then she walked forward like nothing happened.
Maybe it was the time she was weaving her way through an unnecessarily crowded sidewalk
when she suddenly stopped and started running in the opposite direction. When she came
back, she had a full-grown dog on her back.

Maybe it was the time he first saw her smile. When the teacher returned their assessments and
she had gotten a perfect A. It was nothing special – she got the same marks every time – but
Elena didn’t take anything for granted.

One year. It had been one year since Nathan first glimpsed at Elena and every day he was
mesmerised even more.

Right now, her novel lay open in her lap as she sat on the windowsill in the corner of the
library. Her hair was open again, but it didn’t hide her face. The book search was long
forgotten – for both Nathan and Elena. The latter was staring out into nothing, and the former
was staring at his everything.

“You’ve got a little bit of drool over there.”

Even Clueless Adrien knew about Nathan’s crush. How much more obvious could it be?
Nathan was fairly sure that Elena wasn’t – couldn’t be – completely ignorant of his feelings for
her.

Absentmindedly, Nathan wiped his mouth but frowned when there was nothing. He glared at
Adrien who laughed.

Adrien slid into the seat beside Nathan and put an arm over his shoulder. Much to Nathan’s
annoyance, Adrien seemed intent on not going away any time soon.

“Why don’t you just confess to her?”

Nathan stared at Adrien as if he was stupid.

“Are you stupid?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You definitely are I don’t even need to doubt it.”

Adrien faked hurt and put a hand over his heart. “Ouch, but ok. Do you stutter with that rude
mouth when talking to Elena?”

Nathan scowled. “I don’t stutter.”

“‘I-uhm, ah. Pleaseignoreme. Um.’” Adrien mocked him, earning a smack on his head.

He smiled smugly, while rubbing the hurt area, “You’re probably scared she’ll reject you.”

And that was it. The ugly truth. Nathan didn’t respond, and turned his head away, looking at
Elena again. She hadn’t moved an inch.

“I’m going to go talk to her.”

Nathan whipped his head towards Adrien, who was already making his way towards Elena.

“Wait, shit. No, Adrien – stop.” He whisper-yelled, completely furious because he could just
strangle Adrien now but that would grab Elena’s attention and stain his image.
Adrien’s ears seemed to have stopped working because he didn’t even pause. Nathan, from his
peripheral vision, saw Elena perk up. She always did that, he noticed. She somehow always
knew something before it transpired.

Nathan’s blood pumped furiously. He could almost feel the veins in his body throb. He was
nervous, terribly so, because he didn’t trust Adrien. Least of all around Elena.

They started to talk. And even in the quietness of the large hall, Nathan couldn’t make out a
word they said. With each syllable that passed from their mouths, Nathan’s heart died a little.

Why couldn’t he have the same guts as Adrien? How hard would it have been to just talk to
her?

Impossible. Nathan answered his own thoughts. It was impossible for him to have that
courage. And he hated that.

He cursed Adrien mentally. Why did he get to be so carefree while Nathan always had to walk
on needles? And why did he have such broad shoulders that blocked Nathan’s view of Elena?
And why did Adrien get to hear her voice for so long? Better yet, what was he still doing in
front of her?

Nathan decided he was going to hate Adrien from that moment on.

After eons, Adrien came back. Nathan let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

“What were you two talking about?” He asked urgently. Adrien smiled.

“Secrets.”

That night, Nathan cursed Adrien to the depths of hell.

 VI

Nathan Henderson had convinced Elena Woods to spend the Saturday with him.

That’s right.

Nathan was anxious, even more than how he usually was because Elena had agreed to
willingly spend time with him. Sure, it was under the pretence of tutoring his hopeless self,
but he’ll take what he can get. And Nathan achieved all this without doing anything illegal.

He was seated on one of the corner booths of a cosy café down the street, with his knees
shaking with trepidation. Nathan’s fingers drummed against the table as he waited for Elena
to arrive. He very much hoped she wouldn’t stand him up. Even if this wasn’t necessarily a
‘date’ it was the closest thing to it that he could get.

Also, he was half an hour early. Which is why the server who had noticed him wiling away his
time inside his car outside the café was eyeing him suspiciously. To him, Nathan would’ve
looked like a weirdo. Nathan stared right back at him. He didn’t bother him anymore.

Nathan looked pathetic with his glass of water in front of him. Out of the thirty-three items on
the menu, he had chosen water. Some days, he really hated his lame mind. Scratch that, he
always hated it.

He had almost fainted when Elena had nodded her head to his request.

“I’m slacking slightly in trigonometry and-”

“Sure. I could help you out.”

Bam. Shots fired.

And that’s how Nathan found himself absently scratching the wood off the table he sat at.
With water as his only companion. All the while, a pesky server glared at him inconspicuously.
He would make a rather poor spy; the guy had no secrecy skills. If Nathan were to ever make a
secret agency, he would definitely not hire him.

A slight breeze momentarily chilled the café as a wave of customers entered. The bell chimed,
signally their arrival. Nathan glanced over his shoulder, just a peek. He wasn’t particularly
hopeful about Elena coming along. Any moment now, he would receive a text. ‘Sorry, I have
much better things to do and places to be. Won’t be able to make it.’

No, Elena would never say that. But Nathan was in a particularly pessimistic mood on this
optimistic day. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

But there she was. Nathan sharply inhaled. Elena’s doe like eyes scanned the area before
landing on him. She passed a small smile in his direction, before coming closer.

“Hi,” she said, sliding into the area opposite him.

“Hey.” He breathed out, still slightly dazed.

Elena seemed to have noticed because the corner of her lips twitched up. Nathan’s eyes zeroed
in on the movement for a short second, but he shook his head. No.

Her eyebrows furrowed as her gaze landed on the table. With a tilt of her head, she addressed
him.
“Have you been here long? Didn’t you order something for yourself?”

He cleared his throat before answering. “No, I got here just a few minutes ago.” The server
coughed loudly. “I thought we could order together…to save time.”

Elena was perplexed. Clearly so but she didn’t question his nonsensical reasoning.

“What would you like to drink?” she asked him. Shoot, he was supposed to be asking her that.

Nathan’s mind went haywire. What drink should he order, that would impress her? Should he
just say ‘Coffee. Black.’ and look cool? But Nathan didn’t really like black coffee it tasted very
bitter to him. What drink makes Nathan look like the type of guy Elena would go out with?

Upon coming with no satisfying answer to his inner dilemma, Nathan decided he would just
order what he always does. His favourite.

“I’ll just have a hot chocolate.” With marshmallows. He silently added to himself.

He stared at Elena – like always – to gage her reaction. Nathan blinked when he was met with
her widely grinning form. Her eyes were lit up, shimmering at him and he was stunned.

“Really?” She said, almost bouncing on her seat. “I was going to have the same.”

Nathan blinked again. He didn’t know how to react to such a jovial Elena. She seemed so free,
it made him want to shield her from whatever that kept this side of her in the shadows.

Still, Nathan smiled back with equal fervour. “I’ll go place the order then. How do you like
your hot chocolate?”

“With marshmallows.” She immediately replied, followed by a thanks. Nathan internally

cheered. He was getting along with his crush. He had things in common with his crush. That’s
a good sign, right?

The movies said opposites attract, though. Nathan slightly paused in his walk to ponder for a
moment, but then shrugged. Oh well, nothing could ruin his ecstasy right now.

The server – whose name was written on his tag as Harry - gave him in a stink eye as he passed
him, a tray of croissants balanced on his arm. Nathan beamed at him.

After telling the girl behind the counter his and Elena’s order, he made his way back to their
table. Nathan didn’t miss the slight bounce in his step as he walked. He was happy. This was
almost like a date. Almost.

She was wearing a beige knitted sweater, with a red scarf loosely woven around her neck.
Elena was looking out the window-wall when he neared her, playing a rhythm with her hands
on the table. She stopped when he sat in his chair and redirected her attention to him.

Nathan was over the moon.

“Drinks will be up shortly,” he mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

His mind had a hundred things he wanted to say to her but none of them would get him
anywhere. He wanted to tell her how pretty she looked and ask her if she had trouble
travelling in the snow. He wanted to hold her hand because he saw how she was not wearing
gloves. He wanted a lot of things, but sadly, all that he needed was her presence. And as long
as he got that, he was content. He didn’t deserve anything more anyways.
Elena nodded in acknowledgement and reached up to tighten her ponytail.

“Thank you,” he said, staring into her brown orbs. “For coming today.”.

She shook her head, “It’s nothing, really. I have to pay you back somehow.”

Nathan frowned, “For what?”.

A light scoff escaped Elena as she scanned his face to check if he was playing dumb. He wasn’t.
Nathan genuinely had no clue what he could’ve possibly have done that benefited Elena
except for being completely infatuated with her.

His heart stopped. She couldn’t know, could she? Was this a pity-party? Is this afternoon
going to end with Nathan sulking underneath his covers after Elena rejects him before he ever
confesses?

Nathan was having a mini panic attack.

“For tolerating me.” She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Nathan, I know
how offhanded I act sometimes. Not everyone sticks by – you did. I think that counts for
something.”

Nathan didn’t waste a second in replying. “That’s bullshit, Elena. I don’t ‘tolerate’ you. That
would imply I have a problem with you. I am around you because I choose to be.”

Elena smiled, “You just proved my point. Let me rephrase my sentence then,” She slightly
shuffled in her seat.

“Thank you for being a good person.”

Nathan couldn’t handle the intense look in her eyes. He had to look away. “I haven’t even
done anything.”

“Then thank you for being you.”

“Please stop.”

Elena giggled, and Nathan couldn’t fight the oncoming smile on his face. He couldn’t fight
anything with Elena around, he was a helpless lovesick idiot.

Elena said something while Nathan was busy being dazed. He focused his attention back on
her.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch what you said.”

Elena waved a hand at his apology, “I was asking when you want to begin the studying.” Oh
yeah, they were here to study. “Maths, right? Luckily, I’m through with this semester’s syllabus
so I can help you out.”

Nathan rolled his eyes, “You could ace every subject without even batting an eye, Elle.”

The nickname flew past his lips like it was meant to be spoken. Nathan tried to act cool, like it
didn’t bother him how easily he slipped up, like his mind wasn’t screaming at him and his
nervous system wasn’t a train wreck.

Elena’s cheeks flushed slightly, and she shook her head. “Do you have the textbook? We could
mark the topics right now and begin the questions next time.”
Next time?

Nathan had thought Elena would only make this a one-time thing and part ways after this
meet-up – never to see each other again. Needless to say, he was pleasantly surprised to have
another session with her coming up.

Elena seemed to have noticed his silence, because she quickly recovered and retraced her
steps.

“I’m sorry, did you mean to finish everything today? I didn’t bring any material because I
thought we would keep it light for the first time. The syllabus is quite vast, and to thoroughly
go over everything would mean at least –”

God, rambling seemed to be a habit common to the two of them.

“No, no. I was just wondering about when we’ll meet next.” He was not supposed to say that.

Nathan quickly fished out the textbook he had - thankfully – brought with him in his bag. She
took it from his hands when he passed it over – careful to not have any skin contact because
he would lose his mind. Elena didn’t notice his distress.

As she flipped through the pages, circling over topics with a pencil, and occasionally asking
Nathan if there was anything in particular he wanted to go through– Nathan found himself
once again entranced and enamoured.

One strand of hair seemed to keep bugging her. Nathan’s finger twitched, but he balled his
hands into fists. The pencil would make its way behind her ear and sometimes tapping on her
forehead. Elena’s fingers on her left hand would time-to-time flex when she couldn’t find
anything to do with them. Countless formulas that Nathan already knew by heart escaped her
lips as she revised them for him.

When they left, Nathan even tipped Harry, who in turn glared at him.

That night, Nathan couldn’t stop smiling.

***
 VII

If it had been up to Nathan, he would’ve arranged to meet Elena the next day itself. Hell, he
even gathered up the courage to ask her but unfortunately – she was busy. So, they were going
to meet up sometime during the next week.

Which brought Nathan to where he was – stuck in his house with nowhere to go and nothing
to do.

“Oi, lazy ass.” Delilah’s voice echoed in his empty room as she barged in. “You- what the hell,
how are you even comfortable like that?”

Nathan was upside down on his bed. His head lay on the soft material of his pillow while his
feet rested on the wall above his bed post.

“Live and let live.” He mumbled; his eyes fixated on the game he was playing. He had just
killed his fiftieth zombie. Score. Nathan grinned.

His phone was smacked out of his hand, and almost fell of the bed making Nathan sit up in
alarm.

“What the hell, Lilah, I was doing something.”

Delilah rolled her eyes. “You were doing jackshit. Now, listen to me.”

Nathan cursed underneath his breath about there being no privacy in this house and no sense
of space. Shifting so that he could face his sister with the most annoyed look, he reluctantly
listened.

She threw a piece of paper at him, which unceremoniously landed on the floor. Delilah didn’t
bother picking it up.

“That’s the grocery list. Go fetch.”

Nathan glared at her, “I’m not a dog.”

“Hush, Natasha. Here’s the money.”

Without getting off the bed, but rather halfway dangling off it, Nathan looked at the list and
immediately scowled.

“This is not grocery; these are all your products. Go buy them yourself.”

Delilah, who was watching him carefully, raised one eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Do you
have a problem with buying ‘girl-things’? Is this how I brought you up, baby brother?”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Do not bring the moral compass into this. You know I don’t
think like that.”

Exasperated, she threw her hands in the air. “Fine, whatever. It’s not like all of my daily
lifestyle routines depend on the little things that my own blood relative can’t even get for me.”

Nathan scooted back to his place – legs on wall, head on pillow – and got back his phone. “Not
going to work. Kindly get out of my room.” A cushion was thrown at his face. He snickered.

“Well, then. Guess I’ll just tell Mom how you ran off yesterday without a word and didn’t come
back for 2 hours and forty-eight minutes.”
Nathan looked up at her for a second, she was standing on the side of the bed now. “Don’t you
have a boyfriend to smooch with? Get a life, Lilah.”

She smacked on his head, and he let out a slight wince. “Shut up, Natasha. Where were you
anyways?”

He switched weapons – sword to a rifle and started shooting across the street. “Why do you
care?”

“I will confiscate your phone in ten seconds if you don’t answer me.”

Nathan scoffed, “I’m seventeen, Lilah, not seven.”

“Ten.” Nathan didn’t move. The boss zombie was going to come in any moment now.

“Nine.” His moves slightly faltered.

“Eight.” She wouldn’t take away his game, would she?

“Seven.” No, that would be too juvenile.

“Six.” His fingers had stopped working. He was losing health – and the will to live.

“Five.” He eyed Lilah from the corner of her eye. It didn’t look like she was kidding.

“Four.” She actually looked pretty scary.

“Two.” Nathan’s legs slipped from the wall, making him jostle up, “You didn’t say three!”

Delilah’s eyes narrowed at him. Nathan gulped and put his phone aside.

“I’ll talk. Stop counting.”

Delilah grinned. Satan, Nathan thought, and shifted in his place. His sister merrily sat beside
him, ready for the ‘tea’, as she said.

“Spill.” There was the metaphor. Nathan never really understood why anyone would want tea
to spill and cause a mess. He also didn’t understand the connection between gossip and a dr-

“Natasha, start talking or I won’t even count this time.”

“I was at the café.” He said, indifferent. Delilah waited for more. When Nathan didn’t
enunciate further, she threateningly reached her hand out to his phone.

“With Elena.” God, he wanted the bed to swallow him up.

Delilah’s eyes sparkled and she let out an ear shattering squeal. Nathan quickly covered his
ears and cursed.

“Aw, that is so cute. Look at you all blushing!”

“I am not blushing-”

“I can’t believe my wittle brother is finally making a move. How was the date? Did you two
hold hands? Was she fed up with you or actually happy? What did you talk about?”

Nathan’s face felt ablaze. He had an unhappy frown on his face as he twiddled with his fingers.
“I am not discussing my love life with you, Lilah.”
“You don’t have anyone else to discuss it with. Who will you vent to, Nathan? That guy who
came with a box of pineapple on pizza last week?” She was talking about Adrien.

“Maybe,” Nathan mumbled, just for spite.

Delilah’s jaw dropped. “My god, look at you! You have a best friend and a girlfriend. I can’t
wait to see pigs flying in the sky.”

“Adrien’s not my best friend.” He said, feeling the need to catch hold of what little sense of self
he had left, “And Elena’s not my girlfriend.” Unfortunately.

Delilah waved a dismissive hand. “Semantics, semantics. Now tell me,” She was really into this,
it was creepy. “How was it?”

Nathan’s eyes softened and a small smile crept on his face. “Perfect. It was…perfect.”

Delilah almost swooned. She loved to hear about Nathan and all that happened in his life – no
matter how minimalistic the subject may be. She also loved to talk to Nathan about her life. It
was their way of bonding. And as much as Nathan portrayed how annoyed he felt, deep down
he was grateful to have her.

“I can’t – this is too adorable for my heart. God, Natasha, how did you even ask her out?”

He refrained back from cringing at the nickname. If Elena and Delilah were to ever meet – he
hoped they don’t – Nathan would have to set some ground rules for his sister.

Nathan looked away from her prying eyes, “It wasn’t a date, she was tutoring me.”

Delilah’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? Didn’t you top half your classes just last week? You
boasted Mom’s ear off for two whole days, I remember.”

Nathan glared at the last sentence but looked away just as quick “Mathematics is tough, you
know? So many formulae, concepts, theories-”

“You lied to spend time with her, oh my god.”

Nathan pursed his lips and scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly.

Delilah sighed, “When will you finally ask her out?”

Never.

Nathan shrugged. “When the time is right.”

That night, Nathan didn’t sleep because Delilah wouldn’t let him.
 VIII

Elena was humming a song underneath her breath, and it was wonderful.

They never got to meet up for the second time, because Elena was tied up with some work and
the times she were free, Nathan was preoccupied. It was an unfortunate turn of events, but
Nathan didn’t mind because he still got to talk to her often. And he didn’t need the tuitions
anyways. But he didn’t tell that Elena because she was hell-bent on ‘making it up’ to him and
Nathan was all the more willing.

This was two weeks ago, and they had only gotten closer.

Exhibit A is right now. Nathan and Elena had come around to that stage when they sat at the
same table in the cafeteria. The group of people that he sat with before didn’t seem to care
much, considering how they just shrugged when Nathan went away.

Adrien, however, was now sitting with them. Everyday.

Nathan got used to it. After the first week, at least, wherein he wanted to strangle Adrien.
Elena, on the other hand, was elated. And how could Nathan refute that?

Elena’s shifted in her seat from time to time, in tune with the melody she hummed. It was
strangely familiar to Nathan, but he was much too entranced with the way she would do a
mini dance while eating her burger.

“Stop being a Nathan, Nathan. It’s rude to stare during meals.” Adrien admonished him,
pursing his lips to conceal the obvious grin.

Nathan scowled at him. “I was not staring.” Lie.

“Hush, my boy. I know I am all too beautiful to not gawk at.”

“I will stab you.”

“Kinky.” Adrien winked and Nathan flipped him off.

Adrien very subtly dragged his chair closer to Nathan’s. So inconspicuously that the group
from two tables over, turned to look at the screeching noise. Elena momentarily looked up
before going back to her food.

“Do you know Maya?”

Nathan squinted his eyes slightly and tried to remember. “I don’t think I do.”

Adrien grinned. “Aw. She fancies you, you know.”

Nathan’s eyes comically widened, and his eyebrows raised.

“M-me?” he sputtered, but Adrien nodded, stifling his laughter.

Nathan was quite shocked, but he shook his head adamantly. “There is no way.”

“He’s not lying.” Said a voice he least expected to hear. His eyes almost bugged out of their
sockets, and Nathan could only gape.

“You too, Elena?!”

Elena dusted her hands on her jeans, ridding them of any leftover crumbs. She regarded him
with an impassive look.

“It’s true. I’m surprised you don’t know of it, almost everyone does.”

Nathan searched her face for anything – a slight crack, a hint of emotion. He found none, and
his heart hurt a little. He had hoped she would care.

Someone challenged Adrien to eat a bucket-worth of chips. He made his exit from their table
known with a small pat on Nathan’s back.

“That’s nice to hear but I…didn’t notice.” He mumbled, quite dejected now. Elena didn’t care
that someone else is interested in Nathan romantically. Why would she?

His self-wallowing was cut off by a scoff. Nathan raised an eyebrow at her.

She lifted one shoulder, “Nothing, it’s just that – that’s such a y thing to say. I’m not even
surprised.”

What the flying fuck.

She misunderstood his flabbergasted look as confusion and added on.

“I don’t mean it with any offence, but you are the least observant person I know. It’s almost
predictable that you wouldn’t ‘notice’ someone who gawks at you all day and always greets
you in the hallways.”

On any other occasion, Nathan would probably be jumping right now. Elena just admitted
having always seen him, after all. Sort of.

But right now, all he could focus on was how she just called him ignorant to his surroundings.

Which was the biggest joke of the century. Nathan was the most observant person in the
goddamn world – but only when it came to Elena.

He could list the two shades of Elena’s hair in detail – in the dark and underneath the glow of
the sun. He could also tell her that she picked at her fingernails when she was restless, a habit
he had picked on during their time together. Elena liked burgers, sure, but without the
tomatoes and with extra cheese. Always extra cheese.

Not to mention the hypocrisy of the situation. Nathan was so open about his feelings; he was
sure even the school next to theirs knew about his crush.

Instead of being descriptive and defending himself, Nathan smiled and rested his chin on the
palm of his hand, staring at her.

“How silly of me, isn’t it?”

Elena blinked and leaned back in her seat. Clearly, that was the last thing she expected him to
say.

Something shifted in her eyes – a spark of determination made itself visible. Elena sat up
straighter.

“You should see Maya, she is very pretty.”

Her probing gaze accompanied by her random statement had Nathan furrowing his eyebrows.
His lips set into a frown.

“I am sure she is attractive to many people.”

Elena’s eyes narrowed. “She is also very, very sweet. I have sat beside her in lab quite a few
times and she had the best personality ever.”

Nathan was thoroughly confused by now. “Well, every person has a hint of benevolence inside
them.”

“She has many friends, almost everyone likes her in this school.”

He took a bite of his sandwich. “That’s good for her.” Before Elena could say something
further, Nathan cut her off. “Why are you telling me all this?”

Elena looked quite helpless now. Why? Nathan didn’t know. But he would try to indulge her
somehow.

“I’m just trying to make you see that there are people who want to be with you. And that you
don’t need to take pity on my lonely self and sit with me just because you are a good human.”

“I don’t take pity on you.” Nathan immediately replied. He began filling Elena’s glass with
water to which she glared at him. A sheepish smile made its way onto his face.

“I sit with you because I am one of the people who want to be with you.” Elena huffed and
looked away from him sullenly. Nathan continued. “Though, it would be a different situation if
you don’t want to be with me.”

She whipped her head back towards him and glared harder. Nathan fought back a laugh at her
irritated face.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Nathan.”

“Hey, I’m only pointing out what you insinuated.”

“I did not!”

Nathan grinned wide. “Did too. But no worries. You should know I am tough to get rid of.”

Elena scoffed and rolled her eyes. She dusted her hands on her jeans and got up, picking up
the tray. She glared at him, and Nathan smiled at her.

“Believe me, I know.”

***

“Hi, Nathan!”

Nathan looked over his shoulder, confusion dancing in his eyes. Elena, who was walking
beside him, paused too.

He nodded once in greeting at the newcomer, before turning back to Elena, who stared
blankly at him.

Eyebrows furrowed; he wondered if he had done something wrong.

Elena jerked her head to the right, urging him with his eyes. Nathan looked to where she was
gesturing, only to see that the person hadn’t left.

Oh.

He turned fully this time, taking his time to regard the girl before him. She seemed familiar to
him, though he couldn’t exactly pinpoint who she was.

“Hey,” He passed a smile towards her.

“Hi.” She said again, a little breathless this time. Maybe she had jogged her way here, but what
could possibly be so urgent?

Nathan chanced a look at Elena, who had tugged her hood upwards and was shifting from her
toe to heel, her hands in her pockets. He had almost forgotten she wasn’t comfortable with
strangers.

When the girl didn’t elaborate further, but instead seemed like she was waiting for him to say
something, Nathan let his puzzlement mask his face. It seemed to do the trick because she
cleared her throat.

“Hi, well, I’m Maya Collins? We have Chemistry together.”

Nathan raised an eyebrow. Was she the same Maya-?

“Um, I was wondering if you had the assignment given in class today? I might’ve zoned out a
bit and forgot to copy it.”

Nah, Nathan thought, can’t be the same Maya. No one has the guts to approach someone they
like so easily.

Nathan hummed, pondering deeply in his mind, before shaking his head. “Sorry, I didn’t make
notes today.” He was busy staring at his newfound bench partner who happened to be
standing beside him right at that moment.

That’s right. They were not only cafeteria partners but even bench mates. Nathan called that
progress and its realisation had him fighting back the urge to grin.

“Oh,” Maya blinked a bit, before leaning back. Nathan hadn’t noticed how close she was
before. “No issues, do you want me to forward it to you in case I get it?”

That would actually be helpful.

Before Nathan could nod and say yes, his attention was completely diverted from the grey eyes
before. A tug on his sweatshirt had his breathing faltering and his heart trying to jump out of
his throat.

It was just a split-second contact – one tug and she had let go of him – but it was enough to
have Nathan completely turn on his heel.

“Literature is all the way over the other building,” Elena murmured, her brown eyes peeking at
him from under the hood, “Don’t want to be late, I’ll see you later.”

Nathan could barely fathom what had transpired in the past fifteen seconds. Didn’t Elena see
the effect she had on him? How could she just completely turn his mind into mush and walk
away like that?
Who does that?

A clearing of throat had him shaking his head to get rid of his dazed thoughts. He looked at
Maya, whose expression suddenly looked quite sullen.

“I think I’ll manage,” he said, smiling at her, “Thanks for the offer though.”

Maya’s pale cheeks turned slightly crimson, and Nathan blamed the cold. “Of course,
anytime.” She replied before swiftly turning on her heel and walking away.

Nathan was now alone in the corridors. He had half the mind to jog and catch up to Elena but
knew it was a futile feat. For someone one head shorter than him, she walked quite fast.

His sleeve seemed to be burning a hold through his skin, right where Elena had touched it. He
couldn’t quite believe how such a simple action had him on his knees for her. It only
depressed him further when he realised that she didn’t feel an iota of what he did for her.

Sure, Nathan had progressed from the annoying acquaintance position to that of a friend, but
it didn’t stop him from wishing for more.

The breath that escaped his lips turned into clouds of fog in the winter air. Hands in pockets,
Nathan whistled a tune and walked the opposite way of where Elena had gone.

That night, Nathan slept dreamlessly.

 IX

Nathan prided himself on his ability to excel in whatever he did.

“Jack of all trades,” his mother would always gush.

“Master of one.” His sister would comment (she was obviously jealous).

That one thing Delilah accepted Nathan was good at was music – his choice of future career
and his passion since the age of five when he was gifted the toy piano with thirty-six keys.

There was something he has never gotten the hang of, though. A measly little weakness of his
which infuriated him to no end and had him cursing the same day every year to hell and back.

Sports.

“Oomph-!” Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, and a vein threatened to pop out and
kill the perpetrator of his annoyance. The basketball which had hit him in the stomach rolled
away innocently.

Adrien had his back on Nathan. Justifiably so, because of the way his shoulders shook, Nathan
was sure he would waste no time punching the laughter right out of him.

He loathed the Annual Decathlon with every fibre of his being.

“Aye, Henderson!” Jordan called out, his chest heaving with breaths. Nathan rolled his
shoulders while looking at the blonde. “Can’t you at least try to not look like a fucking wimp?”

Asshole.

“No can do, Captain.” He smiled, “Not everyone can ooze charm as you do while sweaty and
lethargic.”

That was a lie. Jordan reeked of boys’ locker room stench and was drowning in cheap cologne
pathetically trying to mask it.

He didn’t seem to notice the intent behind Nathan’s smile and instead jogged over to him with
a big grin.

A hand came down on Nathan’s back. Hard. “Aw man, thanks! I appreciate it.” Nathan
grimaced when he leant even closer to his ear. “Between us, I could let you in on a few ways to
get the girls. If you catch my drift.”

The asshole dared to wink.

Holding in his breath, Nathan only nodded and passed another smile. He thanked the gods
and cursed the universe when Coach blew the whistle for another 500m lap around the
ground. The former, because Stinky Jordan finally went away, and the latter because this
meant Nathan would have to run. Again.

It wasn’t like he didn’t try it all to be somewhat decent at anything sports. It’s just that he
couldn’t. No matter how much he had hustled in his middle school years to get on the track
team (or the basketball team. Or the handball team. Or the table tennis team. Or the-), he
would always miserably fail to do so.

It was, as Delilah would say, simply not his cup of tea.

Fifteen minutes later, Nathan was lying face up on the benches contemplating death by a
marathon.