CALL ME FLORY

The action takes place somewhere in San Lorenzo Village. When the curtain rises, we see Florencia and Matilde, scaled in the sofa, in Matildes sala, talking. FLOR: Yes, Matilde, when you called up by phone to come, and see you, I came right away. MATIL: Thats nice of you, Mrs. De los Reyes. FLOR: I hope you dont mind, Matilde. My last name is Caracoles. My full name is really Florencia Aragon de Caracoles. But just call me Florencia. We must be good friends. Its quite an honor to know you, Matilde. MATIL: Oh,dont mention it. I was told by Marilou to get in touch with you she said youd surely help. FLOR:I still think its a great honor to know you,Matilde.After all,youre considered one of the best known society women in Manila.And youre so close to Malacaang,thet tell me. MATIL: It isnt true at all.I just help occasionally when the First Lady asks me to pitch in. FLOR: Youre so modest,Matilde.You dont mind If I call you Matilde? Since we are going to collaborate-er-work together,we might as well as call each other by our first names. MATIL: As you wish,Well,I called you becauseFLOR: Just call me Flory, or Floring. MATIL: Well, Flory, I called you because FLOR: Did you say Marilu called you up? Marilu de Legaspi? MATIL: Exactly. FLOR: Marilus husband owns that big department store on Buendia, doesnt he? MATIL: Yes, but I really called you up for FLOR: Well, maybe my husband bought the Legaspis rice fields in Pangasinan. It cost us one hundred thousand, but it was worth it. MATIL: Thats nice. FLOR: Well now, just how did you want me to collaborate-er help? MATIL: Its a benefit show we are holding up to collect funds for the Sapang Palay people. You know the place? FLOR: (With a gesture of disgust.) Uff, yes. Those squatters who were formerly in Intramuros. Thank God were evicted. Can you imagine? I used to hear Mass every day at the Cathedral. And whenever we passed in our Mercedes Benz 600 by those streets , I felt myself suffocating with the smells and sights of those horrible, uff, such disgusting people, squatters all. MATIL: It is not their fault, really. After the war thousands came from the provinces and didnt know where to settle

FLOR: Uff, dont talk to me about them. I couldnt hear Mass properly. I couldnt pray because of them. Once a little boy made a face at me. Can you imagine-he stuck out his tongue at me. But I forgave him, just as our Lord forgave His enemies. MATIL: This drive we are conducting FLOR: And another time a woman spat on my car it wasnt the Mercedes Benz this time just the Buick which is used to take the children to school and the maid to go to marketing- yes, a spat on my car. Uff, I had to hear two Masses that morning because I was so furious. Thats why I transferred to the Santuario de San Antonio in Forbes Park. Oh, beauty and quiet of the place. And such decent respectable people. There you see the Matias family, the Legazpis, the Urdanetas, the Zarates. You must hear Mass there too, Matilde. MATIL: I go to Ermita church. I was born there. FLOR: Uff, such a small church-no distinction at all. You know who sat beside me the other day in Church? Mrs. Consuelo Cartinage who is related to the Count Cartinage. The Count, they say, is related to Queen Isabella of Spain. I think I saw Mrs. Cartinage nod and smile at me. MATIL: Thats nice. FLOR: Ah yes, Its so nice meeting decent people. People who have money and prestige and class. Not that I am a snob.But it seems to me that we must learn to be aloof from the common hoi poloi. The bakya crowd, as they call it. Not that I am uncharitable. After all, I gave large sums to the church. And whenever I give a party.I never forget to send a dozen eggs to the nuns of Santa Clara. I have heard rumura that I might be given a Papal decoration. Now, I think you were saying something, Matilde? MATIL: Yes,we are raising money for the Sapang Palay people.And we are calling it the Sapang Palay Drive. FLOR:Much as I find those horrible people distasteful, I should like to help. How do you want me to collabo-ercooperate? MATIL: We are showing a movie with Elizabeth Taylor-not yet released to the public-and we are selling tickets. FLOR: Who are the committee? MATIL: Mrs.Consuelo de Cartinage is Chairman. FLOR: Ah? Really? MATIL: And theres Mrs.Urdaneta. FLOR: The wife of Senator Urdaneta? MATIL: Yes. And of course the First Lady is overall Chairman. FLOR: How much are the tickets? MATIL: At one hundred pesos. FLOR: Oh, thats nothing. Here, give me one. MATIL: We were thinking of making you a member of the committee. FLOR: I shall be delighted to serve such a noble cause. Those poor of Sapang Palay deserve all the help they can get. As our lord said, those of us who have much must share with the lesser one-or something like that any-how.

MATIL: Members of the committee are supposed to dispose of at least five tickets. FLOR: Ay, this is my chance to get acquainted with the Urdanetas of Forbes Park. Next time I hear Mass I shall approachMATIL: If you wish I could tell the First Lady to give a ringFLOR: (Excitedly)Oh, will you? Ill give you my private number in my bedroom. People used to call up and say all sorts of ugly thingsMATIL: What things? FLOR: Oh, It doesnt matter now. Who else in the committee? MATIL: Marla Cruz de la Dolorosa. FLOR: Uff, that woman. MATIL: You know her? FLOR: (Hesitating briefly) Well, slightly. She used to be in the buy-and-sell after Liberation. She dealt with Jewelry. Now she is very rich. She puts on such airs. She has only two cars. MATIL: That is usually one too many. FLORY: Oh, no! We have five, not including the two jeeps and the station wagon which are used to take my husband to Capipisa. MATIL: That barrio in Cavite? FLOR: (Embarrassed) Er,no, Matilde, not that barrio exactly-but another barrio nearby where my husband goes hunting. MATIL: And he uses two jeeps and a station wagon to go hunting? My husband also goes hunting in Batangas, but he takes only our car. FLOR:Er-no, not at all the jeeps at the same time. But you know how men are. But we were talking about cars. Yes, we have five, two Mercedes Benz, one Buick, one Impala, and one Continental-thats my sons. MATIL: We have only a 1960 Chevy. FLORY: And Mrs.de la Dolorosa actually goes to Tagalog films. MATIL: I go to Tagalog movies myself, when the film is interesting. FLOR:Uff, with those actors and actresses getting involved in such scandalous incidentsuff, never,no,never. MATIL: Have you seen a Tagalog movie? FLOR: Me? Oh, never in my life. Besides, my Tagalog is poor.I am from Pangasinan, you know. But I am taking French lessons, and I dont want my accent spoiled. MATIL: Now back to the Drive--FLOR: Who else in the committee? MATIL: Ding Tayabong from Bacolod?

FLOR: You mean the millionaire Tayabongs? MATIL: You know her? FLOR: Well, at a party I smiled at her andwell, she must be short-sighted or something MATIL: Could we all gather at your place next week? That is FLOR: Of course. My house is on Dewey Boulevard. It belonged formerly to the Delacampas family who were murdered during Liberation. I have a large living room. Or perhaps we could gather near the swimming pool. MATIL: That would be perfect for a meeting. FLOR: Do you think the First Lady would come? MATIL: Well, I could ask her to be present. FLOR: I should be extremely delighted if she could come. MATIL: I am not sure. I could try. FLOR: Please ask her to come and Ill buy all the tickets she wants. I have an official photographer and he could take my picture with the First Lady. She is such a sweet lady. Tell her Ill buy ten tickets and sell twenty to my friends If only shed attend. MATIL: I am sure shell be pleased. FLOR: But only on that condition. Ill buy as many tickets If she comes to my house. After all, my heart bleeds for those displaced people in Sapang Palay. I shall go there and visit them. I shall bring my photographer so I can send the picture to the papers, But I will not reveal my name. I shall wear a black vell covering my face and bring the tuyo and tapa and dilis. I could buy some stale bread from the bakeries and bring them too. MATIL: Dont you think they will welcome something more substantial than dilis and tuyo? After all, they eat that everyday, if at all. And stale bread is not exactly appetizing. FLOR: What can these people expect, good-for-nothing, lazy, dirty and uncivilized. I think they should be grateful I come to visit them. MATIL: I am sorry to contradict you, Flory, but Im afraid they might resent it. Poor people are sometimes proud, you know. FLOR: Thats the trouble with the poor people nowadays. They have no sense of gratitude. Why, before the war, people were appreciative you could give them two centavos and they would be so grateful theyd kiss your hands. MATIL: Do you always expect gratitude from them? Times have changed. The poor need to be meek. FLOR: Why not? After all, we have no duty to help them. If they were not so lazy MATIL: They may not be naturally lazy. Sometimes poor food and poverty force them to seem lazy. FLOR: Oh, well, lets not talk about them. It makes me feel uncomfortable. (Osang enters.) MATIL: Come in, Osang, did you bring towels? OSANG: Yes, seora. I finished embroidering them yesterday. MATIL: Let me see. (Looking at them.) How beautiful they turned out to be. (Flory stares at Osang, fascinated.)

OSANG: I wanted to bring them earlier, but you know how far Sapang Palay is. MATIL: Of course, Osang. I was not in a hurry. OSANG: (Scanning Florys face.) I may be mistaken but arent you Enchang? MATIL: You are mistaken, Osang. This is Mrs. Aragon de Caracoles. OSANG: (Looking more carefully.) I am not mistaken, seora. Enchang! (Flory pretends not to hear.) I am Osang. MATIL: No, Osang. This is Mrs. De Caracoles. OSANG: I cannot be mistaken. She is Enchang Aragon. MATIL: I said shes Mrs. Florencia OSANG: Of course! Florencia Caracoles, but we used to call her Enchang. We were neighbours in Intramuros. FLOR: (Raising her face haughtily.) I beg your pardon? OSANG: Naku, beg your pardon pa raw. FLOR: You must be mistaking me for somebody else. OSANG: No, I am not. You used to live near the Cathedral, remember? You came there soon after Liberation and borrowed some of my cardboard to cover your windows. Then you married that Caracoles who made money with the Japs. He sold scrap iron, remember? They used to call him Juan Demonio, remember? FLOR: I dont remember any of that silly nonsense. OSANG: Of course after you married, you moved away and the last I heard was that you were living on Dewey Boulevard. MATIL: Osang, dont you think you must be mistaking her for another person who looks like her? OSANG: No, seora. I am sure. Of course, if Enchang does not wish to recognize me, I am sorry. FLOR: Matilde, I must run along. I have an appointment with the beauty parlor. Send me any number of tickets and I shall send you a check. Good-by. (She exits. Matilde stares at Osang. MATIL: Is it true, Osang are you sure you are not inventing all of this? OSANG: Why should I, seora? I was telling the truth. MATIL: Did you say her husband collaborated with the Japs? OSANG: I dony know if you can call it collaboration, but he sold scrap iron which he used to gather, according to the neghbors, from the camps burned by the Ameicans. MATIL: No wonder she used to collaborate so often. And you say she used to live in Intramuros? OSANG: Yes, just beside the Cathedral. She stayed there six months, then she married Juan Demonio, I mean, Mr. Caracoles. MATIL: By the way, I have some bedsheets. I want you to embroider them too. OSANG: You want me to finish them in one week?

MATIL: No hurry, Osang. Heres the money for the towels. (She gives her money.) OSANG: Thank you, seora. I am sorry I hope I was not rude. You see, I thought Enchang would recognize me. MATIL: (Laughing briefly.) dont mention this to anyone. OSANG: (Giggling.) I wont. (She exits. Matilde goes to the phone and dials.) MATIL: Marilu? Florencia Aragon de Caracoles was here a while ago. . . Did I convince her? What do you mean some? I am going to sell her fifty-hear it well-fifty tickets. . . Why? Well, I cant tell you over the phone, but shall we call it a mild form of blackmail, for lack of a better word? . . . What? Yes a bit of blackmail. If she refuses, all I have to do is whisper the name Demonio in her ear, and she wont be able to say no. . . I know it is sneaky and all that, but she had it coming to her, for being so pretentious. . . Ill call you again. (She hangs up, smiling.)

CALL ME FLORY
BY: WILFRIDO MA. GUERRERO