English Lessons with

Father Ted
A course for intermediate students by David Nicholls

A new approach to learning English, this is a series of lessons based on the episodes of the hit
sitcom ‘Father Ted’. Lessons include grammar explanations, exercises, vocabulary tasks and
discussion questions. They are ideal for self-study and classroom use.
 How to use this ebook
This book was written in order to be used in English lessons with my online students. It proved
to be a popular and effective resource, and so I have decided to make it available in an e-book
format. It could be useful for two different types of readers. Firstly, teachers of English may find
it a fun and effective resource for their students. The majority of homework exercises that
English teachers give to their students are based on reading and writing skills. This course is an
attempt to provide at least a 50% bias towards listening practice. The second type of reader is the
independent student who enjoys ‘learning by doing’, and understands that fluency is obtainable
once one’s reactions are fast enough to respond to everyday speech. Such speech is found in TV
shows, and it would be a crime not to use it. I have included grammar and vocabulary exercises
in all of the lessons, as well as some comprehension and discussion questions. As a teacher I give
the lesson to the students as homework, and he or she watches the show in their free time and
retells me a summary of the plot during the next class. I encourage them to use the target
vocabulary and grammar forms during this retell, and we then discuss the questions. Other
teachers could do the same, or they may prefer to use the material in some other way. The
independent student could watch the shows, complete the answers, and then perhaps discuss the
show with a friend. I think the retelling part is essential in order to improve speaking skills and
learn the new vocabulary by heart.
 Father Ted – Series 1 Episode 5
And God created woman

Father Ted – Video Link

Comprehension:
1) Which author does Father ted like?
2) Why does Miss Clarke want to stay at Father Ted’s house?
3) What does Father Ted suggest that Miss Clarke does when she arrives?
4) Why was Dougal hiding?
5) How do they put Father Jack’s wheelchair into ‘automatic’?
6) Why doesn’t Mrs Doyle like Miss Clarke’s book?
7) Why has Miss Clarke had a rough year?
8) Which book do Father Ted and Miss Clarke discuss?
9) What must Father Ted do at 7 o clock?
10) Why mustn’t Jim ring the doctor?
11) Why are Dougal and the nuns already at Miss Clarke’s house?
12) What has Miss Clarke decided to do?

Grammar – FIRST CONDITIONAL

If + Present tense / will (won’t) (or MODAL) + infinitive

It’s quite easy to listen UNLESS you are deaf

If you talk to the doctor he might say that you are ill

N:B We can use modals instead of will/won’t. We can also use when, unless, as soon as,
before, after, in case instead of ‘if’.

Online practice

Video explanation
Quiz

Finish the sentences

1) If Father Ted falls in love with Miss Clarke

2) Unless Father Jack stops drinking
3) When Miss Clarke becomes a nun
4) If you fancy a cup of tea
5) If the mass finishes early
Vocabulary
Match the words with their meanings

serenity awful
delightful Peacefulness
dreadful Unable to hear
nuns Very unusual
deaf wonderful
A housewarming party Women who belong to a religious organization
An autograph peaceful
extraordinary A party you have to celebrate getting a new
house
calm The signature of someone famous

Match the expressions with their meanings

It suits me down to the ground Take s.o where they want to go (by car)
Give s.o a lift It really suits me
To be in a hurry To have too much of something
To have something coming out of To be in a rush
your ears

Use words from BOTH of the tables in the following sentences

1) Miss Clarke says that a life of ____ would ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____.
2) After Miss Clarke and Ted agree to meet at 7pm the ____ come and have tea with Father Ted.
3) Ted explains that the doctor is ____ and that’s why he can’t answer the phone.
4) Ted ____ ____ ____ ____ to finish Mass because he wants to see Miss Clarke.
5) A local guy gives Ted ____ ____.
6) Ted meets the ____ once again at Miss Clarke’s ____ ____.

Discussion questions:
Which modern novelist do you admire?
What do you think a life of a nun or priest would be like? Have you ever thought about
becoming one?
When was the last time you went to a house warming party?
Do you give anybody a lift each week? Does anybody give you regular lifts?
Would you prefer a calm and peaceful life, or a noisy and exciting life?

Answers:
1) Oscar Wilde.
2) Because she has rented a house on the island but it’s not ready yet, and the builders suggested
that she stay at the parochial house.
3) He suggests having a shower.
4) He is shy and afraid of attractive women.
5) They hang a bottle of whisky in front of him so that he pushes the wheelchair himself.
6) Because there is too much swearing in the book.
7) Her husband left her.
8) Crime and Punishment.
9) He must say mass at church, but he should also meet Miss Clarke at her cottage.
10) Because the Doctor is has become (has gone) deaf.
11) For her house warming party.
12) She has decided to become a nun.

First conditional – suggested answers

1) If Father Ted falls in love with Miss Clarke, he will have to leave the priesthood
2) Unless Father Jack stops drinking, he may suffer a serious illness.
3) When Miss Clarke becomes a nun, she will have to change her habits.
4) If you fancy a cup of tea, Mrs Doyle will make you one.
5) If the mass finishes early, Ted will be at Miss Clarke’s on time.

Vocabulary

serenity Peacefulness
delightful wonderful
dreadful awful
nuns Women who belong to a religious organization
deaf Unable to hear
A house warming party A party you have to celebrate getting a new
house
An autograph The signature of someone famous
extraordinary Very unusual
calm peaceful

It suits me down to the ground It really suits me

Give s.o a lift Take s.o where they want to go (by car)
To be in a hurry To be in a rush
To have something coming out of To have too much of something
your ears

1) Serenity, would suit her down to the ground

2) nuns
3) deaf
4) is in a hurry
5) a lift
6) nuns, house warming party
 Father Ted – Series 2 Episode 8
Cigarettes, Alcohol and Rollerblading
video link

Comprehension:
1) Why does Father Ted put a cross in the garden?
2) What does Father Dick Byrne (Father Ted’s rival) claim he has given up for Lent?
3) What is more important than the sacrifice Jesus made for mankind, according to Father Ted?
4) How long do the boys manage to do without their favourite habits?
5) Who does Father Ted call to try and help them give up their habits?
6) What happens to Father Jack after giving up the alcohol?
7) What does Mrs Doyle think is a dirty, filthy thing?
8) What can’t Dougal remember?
9) What do the priests have for breakfast? What must they do after breakfast?
10) Why must they have a bath in ice in the garden?
11) What do Ted and Dougal discover about Sister Asumpta?
12) Where does Ted ask her to go in return for their silence concerning her addiction?

Grammar – PAST MODALS

must have 3rd FOR DEDUCTION

might/could have 3rd FOR DEDUCTION

can’t have 3rd FOR DEDUCTION

should(n’t) have 3rd FOR CRITICISM

I thought people might have been confused about where the parochial house was.

He must have cheated in the Scrabble competition

I should have known, I should have seen it!

Online Exercises
exercise 1
exercise 2

Vocabulary
Match the words with their meaning

Devotion to the lord 40 day period of fasting before Easter.

Lent Strong attachment to God
Parochial house Christian festival celebrating resurrection of
Christ
Easter Not under the influence of drink or drugs
Fags The priest’s home
Booze A woman who belongs to a religious order
Sins alcohol
Nuns vices
Sober cigarettes

Match the expressions with their meanings

I’m off Stop a bad habit

Give up I’m going

Make an effort Surrender to a bad habit

Make a sacrifice Try very hard
Make a vow Endure something difficult
Give in to temptation Stop a bad habit
Knock (the fags) on the head Make a promise to yourself

Use words from BOTH of the tables in the following sentences

1) For the period of ____ Ted decided to ____ ____ smoking and Rollerblading
2) Father Jack also made an ____ to knock ____ ____ ____ ____ ____
3) Dougal, on the other hand, decided that rollerblading was his worst ____
4) Giving all this up was very difficult and so they asked for a ____ to help them make their
____.
5) After one day all the priests ____ ____ ____ ____and continued their old bad habits.

Discussion questions:
What do people give up during Lent in Russia?
Have you ever given up any bad habits? Which ones? Was it easy? Did you have any special
method?
Have you ever made a vow during a festival (perhaps New Year) and kept it?
What sacrifices do you think Priests should make? For example, is it appropriate that they aren’t
allowed to marry? What about booze and fags?
What is your worst sin, in your opinion?

Answers:
1) So that people know where the parochial house is.
2) He says he has given up cigarettes and that the other two priests he lives with have given up 3)
alcohol and skateboarding.
3) Beating Father Dick Byrne in the ‘giving things up’ competition.
4) 1 day
5) The nuns.
6) He finally becomes sober.
7) Sex.
8) He can’t remember Sister Asumpta, being hit by a car, winning £100, being arrested for
shoplifting, being rescued by helicopter, falling out of the helicopter into a zoo with tigers. He
only remembers that he was wearing a blue jumper.
9) Water – after breakfast they must have their daily punishment.
10) To purify themselves and prepare them for the ‘10 steps’.
11) She is addicted to chocolate.
12) He sends her to Father Dick Byrne’s house to get revenge.

Vocabulary

Devotion to the lord Strong attachment to God

Lent 40 day period of fasting before Easter.
Parochial house The priest’s home
Easter Christian festival celebrating resurrection of
Christ
Fags Cigarettes
Booze alcohol
Sins vices
Nuns Women who belong to a religious order
Sober Not under the influence of drink or drugs

I’m off I’m going

Give up Stop a bad habit

Make an effort Try very hard

Make a sacrifice Endure something difficult
Make a vow Make a promise to yourself
Give in to temptation Surrender to a bad habit
Knock (the fags) on the head Stop a bad habit

1) Lent, give up
2) An effort, booze on the head
3) Sin
4) Nun, sacrifices
5) Gave in to temptation
 Father Ted – Series 2 Episode 11
A Christmassy Ted
video link

Comprehension:
1) What is behind the door which Dougal opens on the calendar? What was his initial prediction
for the next door?
2) What does Father Jack think is behind tomorrow’s door on the calendar?
3) How does Father Ted’s friend make $50000 a year?
4) What does Ted love about being famous?
5) Why doesn’t Mrs Doyle want the ‘teamaster’?
6) Where does Dougal leave Father Jack?
7) Why does Rome decide to give Father Ted a ‘Golden Cleric’ award?
8) What kind of speech does Father Ted write for the awards ceremony?
9) Why do all the priests get bored and decide to leave Father Ted’s house?
10) What does Father Todd want from Father Ted?
11) What does Father Ted compare to tea out of a machine?

Character Adjectives:
Match the characters with their corresponding personality

DOUGAL / TED / MRS DOYLE / FATHER JACK /

1) Vain, ambitious, vengeful

2) Badly behaved, pig-ignorant, alcoholic,
3) Childish, idiotic, strange, naive
4) Generous, clumsy, hard-working

Grammar

PRESENT PERFECT FORMS

Signal words: recently, lately, for, since, yet, already, just, how long, ever, never,

PAST SIMPLE

Signal words: ago, last week, January the 9th, at 3:30pm, when

Present perfect continuous (NON stative verbs of duration)

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently

Present perfect simple

I haven’t won an award for ages

Past Simple
Father Ted rescued the priests when they were trapped in the lingerie section.

Video explanation

Quiz

Vocabulary
Match the two columns to make well known religious expressions from the episode

God Almighty! Celebration of the Eucharist (read in latin by

the priest)
To say mass To deliver a religious discourse to the
congregation
To give a sermon To discourse with God
To say your prayers Good Lord!
A protestant priest A Church service associated with the death of
someone
A funeral A priest from a Church which isn’t Roman
Catholic
God bless you The congregation
The priesthood May God bestow his divine will on you
The parishioners The clergy

Match the phrasal verbs with their meanings

To face facts To arrive

To be cut out for To take care of

To look after To wait impatiently for

To look forward to To be suited to something
To turn up To spend or waste time somewhere
To hang around To punish someone in revenge (to get even with
s.o)
To settle old scores To confront the truth

Use words from BOTH of the tables in the following sentences

1) I would like a nice quiet Christmas, with no unusual incidents or strange people ____ ____
2) OK – we have 8 priests ____ ____ the lingerie section. This doesn’t look good. It could be a
national scandal.
3) Your ____ listen to you when you are ____ ____ ____. (Dougal)
Oh no – I don’t mean them. I mean people I respect. (Ted)
4) Father Ted decided to ____ ____ ____ when he gave his speech.
5) Dougal was ____ ____ ____Christmas very much.
6) Father Ted ____ ____ his award very very carefully. He put it in a special presentation box.
7) Dougal offered to be the priest at the ____ because father Ted forgot all about it.
8) All the priests became very bored when the Christmas TV program turned out to be a priest in
Dublin who was ____ ____
9) Father Ted had to ____ ____ and accept that Mrs Doyle didn’t like the teamaster.

Discussion questions:
What traditions and customs do you have at Christmas time? Do you open the doors on
calendars, or have a Christmas tree?
Would you like to be famous, like Father Ted? What would be the advantages and
disadvantages?
Dougal asks ‘it’s just 3 men pointing at a star – what has that got to do with Christmas?’. Can
you answer his question?
Do you think the priests in the Orthodox Church enjoy the various ceremonies which they are
required to attend?
Have you ever had to give a speech? What was the occasion? What did you say?
Have you ever had burglars? What happened? Did they manage to steal anything valuable?

Answers:
1) A shepherd. Ruud Gullit (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruud_Gullit) sitting on a shed.
2) A pair of women’s knickers.
3) Lap-dancing.
4) People actually listen to you.
5) She likes the ‘misery’ of making the tea herself.
6) In the children’s creche.
7) Because he got the 8 priests out of the lingerie section and prevented a national scandal.
8) He decides to get revenge on all the priests who have offended him and ‘settle old scores’. So
he speaks about them all and tells the audience why they are bad priests.
9) Because they are reading saying mass on the TV.
10) He wants the Golden Cleric award
11) He compares tea out of a machine to milk out of a bottle. The baby doesn’t want the milk
out of the bottle – he wants milk from his mother’s breast.

Character adjectives
1) Vain, ambitious, vengeful. TED
2) Badly behaved, pig-ignorant, alcoholic. FATHER JACK
3) Childish, idiotic, strange, naïve. DOUGAL
4) Generous, clumsy, hard-working. MRS DOYLE

Vocabulary

God Almighty! Good Lord!

To say mass Celebration of the Eucharist (read in latin by
the priest)
To give a sermon To deliver a religious discourse to the
congregation
To say your prayers To discourse with God
A protestant priest A non-catholic, Christian priest
A funeral A Church service associated with the death of
someone
God bless you May God bestow his divine will on you
The priesthood The clergy
The parishioners The congregation

To face facts To confront the truth

To be cut out for To be suited for something

To look after To take care of

To look forward to To wait impatiently for
To turn up To arrive
To hang around To spend or waste time somewhere
To settle old scores To punish someone in revenge (to get even with
s.o)

1) Turning up
2) Hanging around
3) Parishioners, giving a sermon
4) Settle old scores
5) Looking forward to
6) Looked after
7) Funeral
8) Saying mass
9) Face facts
 Father Ted – Series 3 Episode 1
Are you right there, Father Ted?
video link

Comprehension:
1) Why is Ted sent back to Craggy Island?
2) What does Father Fitzpatrick collect?
3) What is Ted surprised to see on the window?
4) Why can’t Mrs Doyle clean the house?
5) What happens when Ted does a Chinaman impression?
6) What is special about Priest’s socks?
7) What did the Greeks invent, according to the female Craggy Island resident?
8) How does Father Fitzpatrick die?
9) What does Father Ted decide to do to prove he’s not a racist?

Grammar – verb forms (conditionals, tenses, gerunds, infinitives)

1) How long ……..Father Jack ………. in there? (live)
2) I’m fed up with ……… in filth (live)
3) Ted, the Chinese ……….. (come)
4) That stuff from Habit Hat ………. today. (arrive)
5) Fascists go around ……… other people what to do (tell)
6) If I ……. tea there is a 70% chance I ……… (drink/die)
7) I need …… to the toilet first. (go)

Vocabulary
Match the collocations from the 2 columns

make A roof
satisfy A noise
Do An apology
keep Your curiosity
Fall off An impression (of s.o)
Owe someone Your balance
Make Insane (or mad/crazy)
Do The tea
Drive s.o The stairs
Fall down The washing up

Discussion questions:
 Are you allowed to claim for ‘expenses’ in your profession? What kinds of expenses are
allowed? In England, there was a scandal involving politicians and their expenses claims. Have
there been similar scandals in your country?
Ted suggests that Father Jack may be ‘Agoraphobic’. What does this mean? Do you have any
phobias? What is the best way to overcome your fears?
Do you know anyone who collects war memorabilia? Why do you suppose that Nazi
memorabilia is often more popular than allied memorabilia? Do you have any other collections?
Father Ted does a Chinaman impression. Can you do any impressions? Can I see them? 
Do you think it is racist to make fun of other nationalities?

Answers:
1) There was a problem with his accounts for the year. He has tried to claim some expenses
which are not allowed.
2) War memorabilia.
3) A perfectly square bit of black dirt.
4) Because she fell off the roof and hurt her back.
5) The local Chinese people see him and get upset.
6) They are blacker than any other socks
7) Gayness.
8) He takes a cyanide pill instead of valium.
9) He organises a celebration of Ethnic Diversity

Grammar
1) has Father Jack been living
2) living
3) are coming
4) is arriving
5) telling
6) drink, will die
7) to go

Vocabulary

make The tea

satisfy Your curiosity
do An impression (of s.o)
keep Your balance
Fall off The roof
Owe someone An apology
Make A noise
Do The washing up
Drive s.o Insane (or mad/crazy)
Fall down The stairs
 Father Ted – Series 3 Episode 3
Speed 3
video link

Comprehension:
1) What kind of competition have Father Ted and Father Dougal been to?
2) Why is Ted covered in sick?
3) Why does Ted think that the babies looked strange?
4) Why does Mrs Doyle put a brick in the middle of the floor?
5) What happened to the last girlfriend of the milkman?
6) What does Father Ted accuse the milkman of?
7) What is Pat Mustard’s boss’ first reaction to the photos?
8) Why does Dougal become a Milkman?
9) What does Father Jack fall in love with?
10) What has Pat Mustard done to the Milk Float?
11) What idea does Father Ted come up with to save Dougal?
12) What does Dougal say in the very last scene?

Grammar – AUXILIARY VERBS

Mrs Doyle, did you put a brick in the middle of the floor?

I did.

1) Echo Question

A) I haven't been to China.

B) Haven't you? (same auxiliary used)

A) I like seafood.
B) Do you? (same auxiliary - present simple)

2) Question tag (used to check information)

You can't speak Japanese, can you? (negative is changed to positive)

He's never been to the UK, has he? (negative is changed to positive)
You are an Aries, aren't you? (positive is changed to negative)

3) Short answers

A) Does he go to this school?

B) Yes he does

4) To avoid repeating a verb or phrase

He likes seafood but no-one else does.
I wouldnt climb up that tree, but he probably would.

5) To add emphasis. Only with do/does/did

A) I thought you didnt like this nightclub?

B) No, I do like it, but tonight im not in the mood.

A) Now I know you didnt go to work

B) No, I did go to work and you can call my boss and check.

6) Agreeing and disagreeing with SO/NEITHER

A) I can't stand rap music.

B) Can't you? Neither can I. (or........Me neither)

A) He loves Opera.
B) Really? So do I. (or......Me too)

Exercises
Exercise 1

Exercise 2

Exercise 3

Vocabulary
Match the 2 columns

To shave To end the conversation

To be after s.o/s.t To do a job instead of s.o else
To be up to s.t To remove hair from the body
To fill in for s.o 1)Explode (bombs), 2) ring (alarms)
To hang up (the phone) Opposite of to slow down
To go off To do something suspicious or naughty
To speed up 1)To explode, 2) inflate (a balloon)
To blow up To want to find s.o/s.t
To come up with (idea, solution, To get off
plan)
To step off To have an (idea, solution, plan)
jealous Very beautiful
cynical scandalous
gorgeous envious
disgraceful Sceptical and mocking
Discussion questions:
How often do you think a man should shave? Is it important to shave before a big event?
Have you ever been to a beautiful baby competition?
Who is the most gorgeous person on TV in your opinion?
Would you describe yourself as a cynical person? Is being cynical positive or negative?
Have you ever seen the film Speed? What’s the plot? Did you like it?
Do you fill in for your colleagues sometimes? What kind of jobs do you have to do?
When driving, in what kind of situations should you slow down? And speed up?

Answers:
1) Beautiful baby competition.
2) Because Dougal got overexcited and he threw up (vomited).
3) They were very hairy
4) She got the idea from a magazine.
5) She died from exhaustion.
6) Being the father of the hairy babies
7) He offers him money for the photos.
8) To fill in for Pat Mustard because he has been sacked.
9) A brick
10) He has put a bomb on the milk float which will be activated when the speed goes above 4
mph. It will then go off when the speed goes back under 4 mph.
11) Putting a brick on the accelerator pedal.
12) ‘Those women were in the nip!’ He finally understands that the women on his milk round
were naked.

Vocabulary

To shave To remove hair from the body

To be after s.o/s.t To want to find s.o
To be up to s.t To do something naughty or suspicious
To fill in for s.o To do a job instead of s.o else
To hang up (the phone) To end a conversation
To go off 1)Explode (bombs), 2) ring (alarms)
To speed up Opposite of to slow down
To blow up 1)To explode, 2) inflate (a balloon
To come up with (idea, solution, To have an (idea, solution, plan)
plan)
To step off To get off
jealous envious
cynical Sceptical and mocking
gorgeous Very beautiful
disgraceful scandalous
 Father Ted – Series 3 Episode 5
Escape from Victory
video link

Comprehension:
1) Why does Father Ted think that their house is being bugged?
2) Why didn’t Dougal recognise anyone at his old school reunion?
3) What’s the name of Father Ted’s sleeping medicine?
4) How does Father Ted punish the 85 year-old footballer?
5) What new player does Father Dick Burne have on his team?
6) Why is Father Ted angry with Father Jack?
7) What has happened to Father Nick, Father Ted’s best player?
8) What was Father Ted’s forfeit last year, when he lost this football game?
9) What job does Ted give Dougal instead of physiotherapist?
10) What kind of book does Father Ted give Mrs Doyle?
11) How long has Jack been asleep? Why?
12) How does Ted deal with his completely ludicrous situation?
13) What kind of souvenir does Father Dick Burne want from the game?
14) What forfeit does Ted have to do after he is caught cheating?

Grammar – verb forms (conditionals, tenses, gerunds, infinitives, passive)

1) We ____ ____ ____ (bug)
2) – Anyway Dougal, you ____ ____about the old school reunion.
– Well, I ____ ____any of them, and all of them ____ ____Firemen. (say, not recognise,
become)
3) ____ ____ by Dick Burne, now that’s not very likely, is it? (bug)
4) I ____ ____ ____ trouble getting any sleep at all. (have)
5) It ____ ____ in most European countries so that means it’s very good. (ban)
6) This button tells you how long you ____ ____ ____ (bury)
7) With this humidity control Father Nick won’t start ____ until this time next year. (decay)
8) I ____ just ____ to Father Ned Fitz Morris. (speak)
9) Jack ____ ____ asleep for 14 days. (be)
10) He ____ the keeper the wrong way. (send)

Vocabulary

Match the 2 columns to make expressions from the episode

To be bugged To have a chance to play for Liverpool
To go mad To be in court in Liverpool
Put your heart into something To go crazy
Get your arse in gear Arrive or appear
To turn up Ridiculous
To have trials for Liverpool To have your telephone calls and conversations
recorded
To be on trial in Liverpool To be impossible
15 laps Become passionate about something
To be out of the question Get moving / become lively, active
Ludicrous 15 times round the circuit
A forfeit Watch something very closely
Keep an eye on To have no idea
To give s.t a go A penalty which is given to s.o
To get the hang of s.t To try something (new)
To give up To get used to s.t
To not have a clue To stop trying to succeed at something

Discussion questions:
How important is football to you? Which games do you watch on TV?
What tactics are used by your national football team?
How do football players usually cheat?
Which sports are most popular among elderly people in Russia?
Can you think of any famous occasions when someone cheated in a sports game?
What sports do you ‘put your heart into’?
What sports do you find difficult to get the hang of?
Have you ever been given a forfeit? What was it and why were you given it?

Answers:
1) Because he thinks that Father Dick Burne wants to find out his tactics for the football match.
2) Because he went to a fire station by mistake – that’s why they were all firemen.
3) Dreamy sleepy nighty snoozey snooze
4) He makes him run 15 laps around the pitch.
5) An Italian priest.
6) Because he hasn’t turned up to training and he is one of their best players (poetry in motion)
7) He has died.
8) He had to photocopy his arse.
9) He asks him to keep an eye on the corner flags and make sure no-one steals them.
10) Understanding football – for women.
11) 14 days – he drank the sleeping medicine.
12) He puts Father Jack in a remote control wheelchair, and uses the pair of fake arms so that no-
one can see him controlling Father Jack.
13) A corner flag.
14) He has to kick Bishop Brenan up the arse

Grammar
1) are being bugged
2) were saying, didn’t recognise, had become
3) being bugged
4) have been having
5) is banned
6) have been buried
7) decaying
8) have just been speaking
9) has been
10) sent

To be bugged To have your telephone calls and conversations

recorded
To go mad To go crazy
Put your heart into something To become passionate about soomething
Get your arse in gear Get moving / become lively, active
To turn up Arrive or appear
To have trials for Liverpool To have a chance to play for Liverpool
To be on trial in Liverpool To be in court in Liverpool
15 laps 15 times round the circuit
To be out of the question To be impossible
Ludicrous Ridiculous
A forfeit A penalty which is given to s.o
Keep an eye on Watch something very closely
To give s.t a go To try something (new)
To get the hang of s.t To get used to s.t
To give up To stop trying to succeed at something
To not have a clue To have no idea
 Father Ted – Series 3 Episode 6
Kicking Bishop Brenan up the Arse
video link

Comprehension:
1) Why does Father Ted have to kick Bishop Brenan up the arse?
2) What kind of proof has Father Dick Burne insisted that Ted show him in order to confirm that
he has kicked the bishop?
3) Why is Bishop Brenan coming to visit Father Ted?
4) Who is Father Jessop?
5) What does Father Dougal call Bishop Brenan?
6) What is Dougal’s plan for kicking Bishop Brenan up the arse and getting away with it?
7) What does Father Jack to do Father Jessop?
8) How does Father Ted celebrate kicking Bishop Brenan up the arse?
9) How does Bishop Brenan find out that Father Ted really did kick him up the arse?

Grammar – verb forms (conditionals, tenses, gerunds, infinitives, passive)

1) Bishop Brenan ____ ____to visit us twice in the last 2 years. (come)
2) I’d say he’d ____ a good, hard kick up the arse. (love)
3) Father Dick Burne insisted on ____ a photo of Father Ted kicking Bishop Brenan up the arse.
(see)
4) Bishop Brenan ____ ____ tomorrow. (come)
5) I think it might be worth ____ one more look. (take)
6) I’ll tell you what must have ____ (happen)
7) Dougal didn’t want you to be disappointed, and so he must have ____ that himself (draw)
8) ____ you ____ your meal, your grace? (finish)
9) Do you deny ____ me up the arse? (kick)

Match the 2 columns to make expressions from the episode

How dare you To go

A vision To promise
An apparition To fall asleep
To swear To escape unpunished
To deny sleepy
To insist strange
To be off Nervous and irritable
To drop off Wondrous and supernatural
To get away with s.t An illusion or ghost
drowsy A visual premonition or prophecy
anxious To declare s.t untrue
odd How could you do such a thing
miraculous To demand

Discussion questions:
Can you think of any religious miracles which have happened in your country? Do you believe
they are true?
What kind of clothes do Bishops and the higher clergy wear in Russia?
How long does it take you to drop off, when you go to bed?
Have you ever had a vision?
Have you ever seen an apparition?
Under what conditions do you usually feel drowsy?
Where are you off to after the lesson?

Answers:
1) Because he lost the football game and must now do his forfeit.
2) He has insisted that Dougal take a photograph as proof.
3) Because Father Dick Burne (Ted’s rival) has told Bishop Brenan that a miraculous image of
4) Bishop Brenan has appeared in Father Ted’s parochial house (on the skirting board).
5) He is Bishop Brenan’s P.A and the most sarcastic priest in Ireland.
6) Len
7) Kick him up the arse and act like nothing has happened. He would never believe that Father
8) Ted would be brave enough to kick him up the arse.
9) He locks him in his underwear basket
10) He gets drunk.
11) He sees a big photo of him doing it.

Grammar – verb forms (conditionals, tenses, gerunds, infinitives, passive)

1) has come
2) love
3) seeing
4) is coming
5) taking
6) happened
7) drawn
8) Have you finished
9) kicking