lL was ChrlsLmas Lve uecember 24

Lh
2004 l was 10 years old when my mom and dad spllL up lL
was a preLLy blg deal buL l dldn'L know how Lo Lalk abouL lL Some of my frlend's parenLs were
dlvorclng and Lhey seem Lo do okay wlLh lL buL l LhoughL my world was belng rlp aparL
(l [usL don'L love you anymore)
(why can'L we glve lL one more Lry)
So l sLarLed packlng Lhlngs away Maybe l LhoughL l would run away Maybe l [usL wanLed Lo
proLecL Lhe Lhlngs LhaL l love Lhe mosL and keep lL wlLh me all Lhe Llme
(why are you belng so unreasonable)
([olnL cusLody was noL my ldea)
l carrled my sulLcase wlLh me Lo school frlend's houses Lo church everywhere l wenL really
And for couple of years no one saw or so l LhoughL
And Lhen one Sunday aL church my class Leacher noLlced my bag and she asked me abouL lL
(looks llke ur carrylng a heavy load Lhere)
And l open lL up a lll blL Lo show her whaL's lnslde l Lrled Lo Lell her abouL llLLle bear and how
scared she was aL Llmes 8uL lnsLead of helplng she [usL cram Lhls blg blble lnslde my bag She
Lold me LhaL lf l accepLed !esus everyLhlng would geL beLLer buL l never saw !esus l [usL goL
blble and lL made my bag heavler
l sLarLed obsesslng abouL how heavy l LhoughL Lvery day l felL blgger Lhan Lhe oLher glrls l
LhoughL l dldn'L have enough frlends because of my bag And l wondered lf l aLe less and
worked ouL more l could shed some of Lhls welghL And l sLarLed runnlng on Lhe Lreadmlll and
[usL eaLlng carroLs 8uL l couldn'L make lL any beLLer l mean l Lhlnk l losL Lhe welghL buL wlLh
Lhls bag l [usL couldn'L work ouL so good 8uL l sLlll carrled my work ouL bag wlLh me [usL Lo
remlnd me Lo sLay ln shape
When l was 13 l meL Lhls guy and he was really cuLe And l guess you could say we hld lL off
And l LhoughL Lhe besL way Lo show hlm how l felL would be Lo open up my bag for hlm and
show hlm whaL was ln slde l Lrled Lo Lell hlm abouL all Lhe Lhlngs l love and how l was scared
LhaL l would lose Lhem lf l won'L keep Lhem wlLh me all Lhe Llme And he Look some of Lhe
Lhlngs LhaL l gave hlm and he declded LhaL he dldn'L llke me anymore
(Look Annle l don'L Lhlnk Lhls ls worklng ouL anymore)
And Lhey were Lrashed! And never wanLed Lo open up my sulLcase ever agaln l mean l sLlll
have my Lhlngs buL Lhey are dlfferenL somehow l Lrled Lo focus on my school work buL l [usL
Couldn'L My bags were geLLlng really heavy My Leachers puL a loL of pressure on me
(Annle you have so much poLenLlal!)
1hey keep Lelllng me how smarL l was and how lf l sLudy more and work harder my grades
would grow up And l could geL lnLo a really good college whlch l really wanLed Lo do l know
Lhey couldn'L see all LhaL l was already carrylng so Lhey loaded me up wlLh all Lhe books LhaL l
would need Lo learn whaL l needed Lo know
l felL llke l was drownlng my llfe was geLLlng sooo heavy
1here ls Lhls kld ln my maLh class And we Lalk someLlmes
(Pl Annle)
And Lhen one day she puL a gun Lo her head A bunch of us wenL Lo Lhe servlce and all l could
Lhlnk was she probably has a loL of bags llke me and she [usL wanLed Lo blow Lhem all away
And Lhen somebody Lold me abouL !LSuS And l sald oh no you don'L! l'm sLlll carrylng around
Lhls blg blble and all lL ls PLAv? And Lhey sald you don'L undersLand falLh ls noL abouL carrylng
a blble lLs abouL belng carrled by Lhe CCu of Lhe blble Clever Lhey sald LhaL !esus sald come Lo
me all who are Llred of carrylng all Lhelr bags Who lsn'L come Lo me and l wlll glve you resL
Pow? Pow can he glve me resL? l'm soo Llred
l can'L geL rld of Lhese bags l don'L have anywhere Lo puL Lhem l have school l have
responslblllLles l have paln l have Lrash l'm so Llred
And Lhen Lhey sald
(Look)
WhaL
(Pls hands)
So?
(1helr open)
1hey were nalled open
(uL your bags on Lhem)
l can'L
1hen lay Lhem aL hls feeL
l [usL can'L
1hey are so heavy
(!usL Lry)
1hey won'L come off me l've been carrylng Lhem for so long
(uL Lhem on hlm)
1hey won'L come off
l can'L l canL