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PDF Billy Bramble and The Great Big Cook Off 2Nd Edition Sally Donovan Ebook Full Chapter
PDF Billy Bramble and The Great Big Cook Off 2Nd Edition Sally Donovan Ebook Full Chapter
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Billy
l e
Champion of the World, the Ba
Bra m b
thanks to my
World Record holder and it’s all
inger of Bad Luck.
invisible dog Gobber. He’s my Br
th
] is a nice boy wi
bl e is a fan ta stic book… [Billy in
Billy Bram battle with certa
im ag ina ry do g. Together they
an angry, m this
rn something fro
Sally Donovan
everyone can lea
feelings. I believe tu all y, in spite of
st th at th ro ug h persisting, even
book, not lea – Coby, 12
n achieve.
hardship, you ca
Illustrated
JKP by Kara McHale
www.jkp.com
Praise for Billy Bramble
‘An inspiring read which will encourage children to get cooking in order
to make delicious food and also gain confidence in their own abilities.’
– Jo Ingleby, BBC Cook of the Year 2015 and
Chef in Residence at Redcliffe Children’s Centre
‘The book shows even if you are different you can achieve.’
– Jordan, 14
‘Very nice writing. Next time try and use more adjectives.’
– Mrs Penfolder, English teacher
– JB
– Coby, 12
www.jkp.com
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form
(including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether
or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the
written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of
the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by
the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 6–10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS.
Applications for the copyright owner’s written permission to reproduce any part of this
publication should be addressed to the publisher.
Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both
a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.
BIG
COOK OFF
Sally Donovan
Illustrated by Kara McHale
ME
(BILLY BRAMBLE)
WITH FACEBOOK
CARTER (MY CHICKEN)
MR NUTTINGTON
FELICITY
FAIRBURN
LUCY
(M SISTER)
Y
RY
Y B UNG SIGNOR SALADINO
GR ) 1
HUN UR CAT (BEST CHEF EVER)
(O
MY NAME IS
BILLY BRAMBLE
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Billy Bramble and I should know because
I hear it fifty thousand million times a day.
Billy Bramble be quiet.
Billy Bramble sit down.
Billy Bramble sit still.
Billy Bramble FOCUS.
Billy Bramble STOP THAT RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
Slow down Billy Bramble.
Get on with it Billy Bramble.
WALK Billy Bramble.
STOP RUNNING Billy Bramble.
Put that down Billy Bramble.
That’s not nice Billy Bramble.
Stop swinging on your chair Billy Bramble.
2
Billy Bramble.
Billy Bramble.
BILLY BRAMBLE.
BILLY BRAMBLE.
BILLY BRAMBLE.
BILLY BRAMBLE IS MY NAME.
DON’T WEAR IT OUT.
Everyone. And I mean everyone, knows my name.
I am famous in a way. It’s partly because my name
is used a lot and partly because my last name isn’t
Smith or Evans or Fraser, it’s Bramble.
‘Bramble,’ people say, ‘what an unusual name.’
Or sometimes people say, ‘No, what’s your real
name?’ and I say, ‘That is my real name,’ and they
look at me as if I am trying to trick them.
I can confirm that Billy Bramble is my real
name, whatever ‘real’ means.
Sometimes when I write my name I draw
a bramble around it, like this.
Brambles are very interesting things. They
will grow anywhere. The bramble is a survivor.
I have a chicken called Facebook and a cat called
Hungry Bungry and a dog called Gobber, who only
I can see. Gobber is the bringer of bad luck, my bad
luck, and the main reason that I am very unlucky.
I am the King, the President and the Emperor of
Bad Lucksville. I am the Bad Luck Champion of
the World, the Gold Medal Winner of the Bad Luck
Olympics, the Guinness World
Record holder for the most bad
luck a boy can have. If there
was a competition called Bad
Luck Factor I’d win it. And it’s
all thanks to Gobber.
But more about him later.
4
I am nearly twelve, I am puny and I am not on
Facebook. I live with my mum and dad (who are the
reason I am not on Facebook) and my little sister
Lucy, who is almost as big as me. Lucy is totally
annoying because she is the good one and I am not.
Like I told you, I’m the King of Bad Luck.
My house is at the end of a dead end road called
a cul-de-sac. I like my house. It is number thirteen,
which is lucky for some. Thirteen is a prime number.
I am a prime number. I am eleven and I can’t be
divided by any number except myself and one. Soon
I will be twelve, which will be a whole different story.
My dad is interested in prime numbers and even watched
a whole programme on the television about them.
A whole programme.
QUESTION: HOW LAME IS THAT?
ANSWER: VERY.
I have an alright face but my nose turns up at
the end and for that reason I get called ‘ski slope’,
‘Pinocchio’ and other charming names like ‘trunky’.
My mum says that I am very handsome but I know
5
that’s what mums say to try to make you feel better.
It’s like when they praise things you’ve done that
aren’t all that good, like a rubbish drawing or a
wonky model.
QUESTION: HOW ANNOYING IS THAT?
ANSWER: VERY.
Me and Carter are best friends except when
we’re not which is sometimes. We’ve been best
friends since I started at primary school in Year 3.
Carter makes unexpected movements and noises,
some of them are rude noises. He can’t help it. He
has something called Tourettes, which I am very
interested in. I’ve watched all the documentaries
about Tourettes, which Mum lets me do as long as
I don’t repeat any of the rude words. I am mostly
quite successful at this.
Sometimes I think that Carter is luckier than me
because everyone knows he has Tourettes, which
means he doesn’t get blamed for it. If I swear at school
I get sent to the room with the drugs posters in and
then Mum gets a snotty green letter home, which she
6
tries to hide from me. She is not very successful at
hiding things from me. If there’s one thing I’m good
at it’s finding things. It’s one of my special talents.
The snotty green letter says something like this:
PARENTS. You must now tell your son off a lot and
Mr Oakplank
7
MY EPIC BAD LUCK
8
being lumbered with him. And for that reason I have
not told a single other person about him. I think it
is safer that way.
If my mum tells me off for coming home covered
in mud I say to her, ‘Mum, it’s not my fault, a dog
knocked me into the mud,’ because that is kind of
the truth. Gobber does knock me off my feet. A lot.
But she doesn’t believe me. She thinks I made up the
dog and got muddy on purpose. I don’t do very much
on purpose. Then my mum goes on and on but I can’t
hear her, because Gobber is barking in my ears.
9
opportunity to get me into trouble, barging
into my chair so it wobbles. Mrs Penfolder my
English teacher will turn around at that exact
moment.
10
I don’t even win ‘Best of the Worst Students’, like
Carter does, but then that’s not an award anyone
wants to win. It’s the award with ‘loser’ written all
over it. Teachers don’t think we’ve worked that one
out, but we have.
11
FACEBOOK
(THE CHICKEN)
12
We were allowed to choose names for our
chickens. I called my chicken Facebook because it
will be a daily reminder to everyone that I should be
allowed my basic human right of being on Facebook.
Mum and Dad were less annoyed with my choice of
name than I had hoped they would be but there is
still plenty of time to achieve maximum parental
annoyance. I will not be giving up my mission to
make them change their minds. Grandad Bramble,
though, he expressed great surprise and annoyance
at my chosen chicken name.
‘Facebook is not a proper name for a chicken,’ he
said. ‘I don’t know why you young people want to
live your lives on the internet.’ He said the word
‘internet’ like it tasted bad in his mouth. He does
not understand, in fact no one understands that my
whole life would be improved if I were allowed to
use Facebook.
He tried to get me to change Facebook’s name to
Raquel after an actress he liked who was in old films.
This amused him so much he laughed and laughed
13
and his glasses fell down his nose and it was in NO
WAY funny.
I will get my own back and win my campaign by
calling my chicken by her name as often and as
loudly as possible.
Facebook
Facebook
FACEBOOK
14
The chickens lay about three eggs every day
between them. Me and Lucy cannot be trusted to
collect the eggs together because Lucy is annoying
and so we have to take turns. I absolutely love to
collect the eggs and it is one of my favourite jobs. With
the eggs we make boiled eggs, fried eggs, omelettes,
quiches, big cakes, small cakes and meringues.
15
BASIC BISCUITS
110g soft butter or margarine plus some for greasing
50g sugar
175g plain flour
16
THINGS I LIKE DOING
17
after I’ve hung out with these friends I’ll Facebook
you and we can hook up,’ and they’d go, ‘What you
listenin’ to?’ and I’d say, ‘Oh, just some new sounds
on my iPod Touch,’ and they’d go, ‘Cool, catch you
later,’ and I’d go, ‘Sure.’
I like jokes.
MOOOOOSLI.
18
Here is a picture of a super car, which is super
manly and ice cool.
MANLY ROOF
MANLY
WINDOWS SUPER SHINY
BONNET
SUPER
MANLY
LIGHTS
19
MY BEDROOM
20
snapping at my ankles all day at school and then
when I got home I just couldn’t control him any more
and he just went all out of control and jumped and
barked and barked and barked and my cupboard got
knocked over and I can’t remember anything else.
Mum will bring the vacuum cleaner upstairs later
and we will clear up the mess together.
When I’m older I’m going to have a widescreen
television and an X-Box in my bedroom. I absolutely
know that Gobber the dog won’t damage them, but
Mum wants to be sure they will not be knocked about
before I am allowed. She also wants me to be near
her a lot which I get very fed up with. She says that
I am like a flimsy tent on a windy day. I blow about
easily and for that reason she has to support me
through the storms. One day I hope I will be pegged
much more firmly into the ground and Gobber will
be old and feeble and will have given up trying to
bring the whole thing down.
When the whole thing comes down, when Gobber
has done his worst and scared me half to death I curl
21
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Fam. 2. Oculinidae.—Colonial forms, dendritic or encrusting, with
relatively large and rather prominent calices separated by
considerable stretches of compact coenosteum. The zooids bear a
crown of ten to forty-eight or more capitate tentacles.
The genera of Astraeidae that form colonies may be divided into two
groups: the Gemmantes and the Fissiparantes. In the group
Gemmantes asexual reproduction is effected by gemmation, and
each zooid of a colony is a distinct individual with two pairs of
directive mesenteries. Among the best known of recent corals
included in this group may be mentioned Galaxea. In this genus
there is a good deal more coenosteum between the calices than
there is in most of the Astraeidae. The calices are long and project
some distance above the coenosteum. The septa are exsert. In
Galaxea esperi examined by Fowler[416] there are twelve septa,
twelve pairs of mesenteries, and twenty-four tentacles, of which
twelve are very small and twelve rather larger. The colour is green or
brown. The genus is found in shallow water in the tropics of the old
world.
Fig. 176.—A single calyx of Pocillopora septata, showing Co, the columella; S, S,
the septa; Th, the theca wall. (After Gardiner.)
The free adult Fungias are derived from a fixed stock called the
trophozooid, from which the young Fungias are detached by
transverse fission (see p. 388). The thecal wall of the young Fungia
when detached from the trophozooid is perforated, but the pores
become largely filled up during the later growth of the coral.
The only genera occurring within the British area are Epizoanthus
(with six species), Parazoanthus (with four species), and Zoanthus
sulcatus.
There are six complete mesenteries in each zooid, but as they bear
no retractor muscles it is not certain that they represent the first six
protocnemes of other Zoantharia. In a great many species the zooids
are oval in shape, the longer diameter being parallel with the axis of
the branch. The mouth and stomodaeum are compressed and at
right angles to this diameter. It is usually assumed that the
mesenteries attached to the angles of the stomodaeum are the
directives, and that the remaining pair, which is axial in direction,
corresponds with the first pair of protocnemes. The axial pair of
mesenteries is frequently very well developed and alone bears the
gonads. When other mesenteries are formed they always arise in
bilateral pairs between the axial mesenteries and the directives. The
tentacles correspond with the intermesenteric chambers. In some
genera there is a constriction of the zooid between the pairs of the
tentacles on each side of the axial mesenteries and the directive
tentacles. This gives them the appearance of a division into three
zooids with two tentacles apiece, one with a mouth and two without a
mouth; and as the mouthless parts alone bear the gonads on the
single axial mesentery, they have been called the "gastrozooids" and
"gonozooids" respectively. This must not be regarded, however, as a
case of true dimorphism, as the cavities of the so-called gastrozooid
and gonozooids are continuous.
The Antipatharia are widely distributed in nearly all the great seas of
the world. Some species are found in shallow water in the tropics,
but most of them occur in depths of fifty to five hundred fathoms. The
genus Bathypathes is only found at enormous depths ranging from
1070 to 2900 fathoms. Specimens of Cirripathes spiralis,
Antipathella gracilis, and another species have recently been
obtained in deep water off the west coast of Ireland,[424] but these
are the only Antipatharia known to occur within the British area.
CHAPTER XV
CTENOPHORA
The Ctenophora are spherical, lobed, thimble-shaped, or band-like
animals, usually very transparent and gelatinous in structure. They
are exclusively marine, and are found floating at or near the surface
of the sea.
Although they are generally classified with the Coelenterata, they are
regarded by some authors as having closer affinities with the
Polyclad Turbellaria (cf. Vol. II. p. 7). They agree, however, with
neither of these divisions in their essential characters, and the only
way to indicate and emphasise their unique position is to place them
in a separate Phylum.
Fig. 180.—Hormiphora plumosa. Ab, position of the aboral sense-organ; Ct, rib
of ctenophoral plates; M, mouth; t, tentacle, with two kinds of pinnae. (After
Chun.)
The ova are very small when discharged and undergo complete
segmentation in the sea water. The development of the Cydippidea
is really direct, but there is a stage passed through in which the
tentacles are relatively very prominent and situated close to the
aboral pole, and this stage is very different in appearance from the