The Differences between Men and Women

Maturity:
Women mature much Iaster than men. Most 17-year-old Iemales can Iunction as adults.
Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies
aIter gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
Plants:
A woman asks a man Lo waLer her planLs whlle she ls on vacaLlon 1he man waLers Lhe
planLs 1he woman comes home flve days laLer Lo an aparLmenL full of dead planLs no
one knows why Lhls happens
$ocks:
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks. Women wear strange
socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictues oI clouds on them, and have a big
Iuzzy ball on the back.

Handwriting:
Men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented,
colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously
large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note Irom a woman.
Even when a girl dumping to someone, she'll put a smiley Iace at the end oI the note.
Bathrooms:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream,
razor, a bar oI Dial soap, and a towel Irom the Holiday Inn. The average number oI items
in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identiIy most oI these
items.


Magazines:

Men's magazines oIten Ieature pictures oI beautiIul ladies. Women's magazine also Ieature
pictures oI beautiIul ladies. This is because the Iemale body is a beautiIul work oI art,
while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light oI day.
roceries:
A woman makes a list oI things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these
things. A man waits till the only items leIt in his Iridge are halI a lemon and something
turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good.
oing out:
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman
says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she Iinds her
other earring, Iinishes putting on her makeup...
$hoes:
When preparing Ior work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into
Reebok sneakers. She wil carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag Irom Saks. When a
woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick
them oII because her Ieet are under her desk. A man will wear one pair oI shoes Ior the
entire day.
Cats:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Mirrors:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they
will check out their reIlections in any shiny surIace--mirrors, spoons, store windows,
toasters,etc.

arages:

Women use garages to park their cars and to store their lawnmowers. Men use garages Ior many
things. They hang license plates in garages, and they watch TV in garages, and they build useless
lopsided benches in garages.


The Telephone:
Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short
messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlIriend Ior two weeks, and upon
returning home, she will call the same Iriend and they will talk Ior three hours




Directions:
II a woman is out driving and she Iinds herselI in unIamiliar surroundings, she will stop
at a gas station and ask Ior directions. Men consider this to be a sign oI weakness. Men
will never stop and ask Ior directions. Men will drive in a circle Ior hours, all the while
saying things like,
"Looks like I've Iound a new way to get there".
Dressing up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage answer the
phone, read a book, get the mail.
A man will dress up Ior: weddings and Iunerals....
Cameras:
Men take photography very seriously. They'll use a lot oI art equipment, and build
darkrooms, and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. OI
course, women always end up taking better pictures.
Laundry:
Women do laundry every couple oI days. A man will wear every article oI clothing he
owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, beIore he will do
the laundry. When he is Iinally out oI clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out,
and take his mountain oI clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiIul
women at the Laundromat.

Cheerleaders during cricket match

Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, Iresh,. Male cheerleaders are always scary..

Toys:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age oI 11 or 12, they lose
interest. Men never grow out oI their obsession wih toys. As they older, their toys simply
become more expensive and impractical. Examples oI men's toys likes car phones,
graphic equalizers, small robots,video games, anything that blinks, beeps etc..