Mark 1waln "lnnocenLs Abroad

lnnocenLs Abroad
1waln Mark 18331910

1hls verslon avallable from Lhe unlverslLy of vlrglnla Llbrary
hLLp//eLexLllbvlrglnlaedu/modeng/modeng0browsehLml
1996

reface

1PlS book ls a record of a pleasure Lrlp lf lL were a record of a solemn sclenLlflc expedlLlon lL
would have abouL lL LhaL gravlLy LhaL profundlLy and LhaL lmpresslve lncomprehenslblllLy whlch are
so proper Lo works of LhaL klnd and wlLhal so aLLracLlve ?eL noLwlLhsLandlng lL ls only a record of a
plcnlc lL has a purpose whlch ls Lo suggesL Lo Lhe reader how he would be llkely Lo see Lurope and
Lhe LasL lf he looked aL Lhem wlLh hls own eyes lnsLead of Lhe eyes of Lhose who Lraveled ln Lhose
counLrles before hlm l make small preLense of showlng anyone how he oughL Lo look aL ob[ecLs of
lnLeresL beyond Lhe sea oLher books do LhaL and Lherefore even lf l were compeLenL Lo do lL
Lhere ls no need

l offer no apologles for any deparLures from Lhe usual sLyle of LravelwrlLlng LhaL may be charged
agalnsL me for l Lhlnk l have seen wlLh lmparLlal eyes and l am sure l have wrlLLen aL leasL
honesLly wheLher wlsely or noL

ln Lhls volume l have used porLlons of leLLers whlch l wroLe for Lhe ually AlLa Callfornla of San
lranclsco Lhe proprleLors of LhaL [ournal havlng walved Lhelr rlghLs and glven me Lhe necessary
permlsslon l have also lnserLed porLlons of several leLLers wrlLLen for Lhe new ?ork 1rlbune and Lhe
new ?ork Perald

1PL Au1PC8
SAn l8AnClSCC
ChapLer 1
CPA1L8 l



19



lC8 monLhs Lhe greaL pleasure excurslon Lo Lurope and Lhe Poly Land was chaLLed abouL ln Lhe
newspapers everywhere ln Amerlca and dlscussed aL counLless flresldes lL was a novelLy ln Lhe way
of excurslons lLs llke had noL been LhoughL of before and lL compelled LhaL lnLeresL whlch
aLLracLlve novelLles always command lL was Lo be a plcnlc on a glganLlc scale 1he parLlclpanLs ln lL
lnsLead of frelghLlng an ungalnly sLeam ferryboaL wlLh youLh and beauLy and ples and doughnuLs
and paddllng up some obscure creek Lo dlsembark upon a grassy lawn and wear Lhemselves ouL wlLh
a long summer days laborlous frollcklng under Lhe lmpresslon LhaL lL was fun were Lo sall away ln a
greaL sLeamshlp wlLh flags flylng and cannon peallng and Lake a royal hollday beyond Lhe broad
ocean ln many a sLrange cllme and ln many a land renowned ln hlsLory! 1hey were Lo sall for monLhs
over Lhe breezy ALlanLlc and Lhe sunny MedlLerranean Lhey were Lo scamper abouL Lhe decks by
day fllllng Lhe shlp wlLh shouLs and laughLer or read novels and poeLry ln Lhe shade of Lhe
smokesLacks or waLch for Lhe [ellyflsh and Lhe nauLllus over Lhe slde and Lhe shark Lhe whale and
oLher sLrange monsLers of Lhe deep and aL nlghL Lhey were Lo dance ln Lhe open alr on Lhe upper
deck ln Lhe mldsL of a ballroom LhaL sLreLched from horlzon Lo horlzon and was domed by Lhe
bendlng heavens and llghLed by no meaner lamps Lhan Lhe sLars and Lhe magnlflcenL moondance
and promenade and smoke and slng and make love and search Lhe skles for consLellaLlons LhaL
never assoclaLe wlLh Lhe 8lg ulpper Lhey


20


were so Llred of and Lhey were Lo see Lhe shlps of LwenLy navles Lhe cusLoms and cosLumes of
LwenLy curlous peoples Lhe greaL clLles of half a world Lhey were Lo hobnob wlLh noblllLy and
hold frlendly converse wlLh klngs and prlnces grand moguls and Lhe anolnLed lords of mlghLy
emplres! lL was a brave concepLlon lL was Lhe offsprlng of a mosL lngenlous braln lL was well
adverLlsed buL lL hardly needed lL Lhe bold orlglnallLy Lhe exLraordlnary characLer Lhe seducLlve
naLure and Lhe vasLness of Lhe enLerprlse provoked commenL everywhere and adverLlsed lL ln every
household ln Lhe land Who could read Lhe program of Lhe excurslon wlLhouL longlng Lo make one of
Lhe parLy? l wlll lnserL lL here lL ls almosL as good as a map As a LexL for Lhls book noLhlng could be
beLLer


LxCu8SlCn 1C 1PL PCL? LAnu LC?1 1PL C8lMLA C8LLCL Anu ln1L8MLulA1L Cln1S Cl
ln1L8LS1
88CCkL?n lebruary 1sL 1867

1he underslgned wlll make an excurslon as above durlng Lhe comlng season and begs Lo submlL Lo
you Lhe followlng programme

A flrsLclass sLeamer Lo be under hls own command and capable of accommodaLlng aL leasL one
hundred and flfLy cabln passengers wlll be selecLed ln whlch wlll be Laken a selecL company
numberlng noL more Lhan LhreefourLhs of Lhe shlps capaclLy 1here ls good reason Lo belleve LhaL
Lhls company can be easlly made up ln Lhls lmmedlaLe vlclnlLy of muLual frlends and acqualnLances

1he sLeamer wlll be provlded wlLh every necessary comforL lncludlng llbrary and muslcal
lnsLrumenLs

An experlenced physlclan wlll be on board

Leavlng new ?ork abouL !une 1sL a mlddle and pleasanL rouLe wlll be Laken across Lhe ALlanLlc
and passlng Lhrough Lhe group of Azores SL Mlchael wlll be reached ln abouL Len days A day or Lwo
wlll be spenL here en[oylng Lhe frulL and wlld scenery of Lhese lslands and Lhe voyage conLlnued
and ClbralLar reached ln Lhree or four days

A day or Lwo wlll be spenL here ln looklng over Lhe wonderful subLerraneous forLlflcaLlons
permlsslon Lo vlslL Lhese gallerles belng readlly obLalned

lrom ClbralLar runnlng along Lhe coasLs of Spaln and lrance Marsellles wlll be reached ln Lhree
days Pere ample Llme wlll be glven noL only Lo look over Lhe clLy whlch was founded slx hundred
years before Lhe ChrlsLlan era and lLs arLlflclal porL Lhe flnesL of Lhe klnd ln Lhe MedlLerranean buL
Lo vlslL arls durlng Lhe CreaL LxhlblLlon and Lhe beauLlful clLy of Lyons lylng lnLermedlaLe from Lhe
helghLs of


21


whlch on a clear day MonL 8lanc and Lhe Alps can be dlsLlncLly seen assengers who may wlsh Lo
exLend Lhe Llme aL arls can do so and passlng down Lhrough SwlLzerland re[oln Lhe sLeamer aL
Cenoa


lrom Marsellles Lo Cenoa ls a run of one nlghL 1he excurslonlsLs wlll have an opporLunlLy Lo look
over Lhls Lhe magnlflcenL clLy of palaces and vlslL Lhe blrLhplace of Columbus Lwelve mlles off
over a beauLlful road bullL by napoleon l lrom Lhls polnL excurslons may be made Lo Mllan Lakes
Como and Magglore or Lo Mllan verona (famous for lLs exLraordlnary forLlflcaLlons) adua and
venlce Cr lf passengers deslre Lo vlslL arma (famous for Corregglos frescoes) and 8ologna Lhey
can by rall go on Lo llorence and re[oln Lhe sLeamer aL Leghorn Lhus spendlng abouL Lhree weeks
amld Lhe clLles mosL famous for arL ln lLaly

lrom Cenoa Lhe run Lo Leghorn wlll be made along Lhe coasL ln one nlghL and Llme approprlaLed
Lo Lhls polnL ln whlch Lo vlslL llorence lLs palaces and gallerles lsa lLs caLhedral and Leanlng
1ower and Lucca and lLs baLhs and 8oman amphlLheaLer llorence Lhe mosL remoLe belng dlsLanL
by rall abouL slxLy mlles

lrom Leghorn Lo naples (calllng aL ClvlLa vecchla Lo land any who may prefer Lo go Lo 8ome from
LhaL polnL) Lhe dlsLance wlll be made ln abouL LhlrLyslx hours Lhe rouLe wlll lay along Lhe coasL of
lLaly close by Caprera Llba and Corslca ArrangemenLs have been made Lo Lake on board aL
Leghorn a plloL for Caprera and lf pracLlcable a call wlll be made Lhere Lo vlslL Lhe home of
Carlbaldl

8ome by rall Perculaneum ompell vesuvlus verglls Lomb and posslbly Lhe rulns of aesLum
can be vlslLed as well as Lhe beauLlful surroundlngs of naples and lLs charmlng bay

1he nexL polnL of lnLeresL wlll be alermo Lhe mosL beauLlful clLy of Slclly whlch wlll be reached ln
one nlghL from naples A day wlll be spenL here and leavlng ln Lhe evenlng Lhe course wlll be Laken
Lowards ALhens

SklrLlng along Lhe norLh coasL of Slclly passlng Lhrough Lhe group of Aeollan lsles ln slghL of
SLromboll and vulcanla boLh acLlve volcanoes Lhrough Lhe SLralLs of Messlna wlLh Scylla on Lhe
one hand and Charybdls on Lhe oLher along Lhe easL coasL of Slclly and ln slghL of MounL LLna
along Lhe souLh coasL of lLaly Lhe wesL and souLh coasL of Creece ln slghL of anclenL CreLe up
ALhens Culf and lnLo Lhe lraeus ALhens wlll be reached ln Lwo and a half or Lhree days AfLer
Larrylng here awhlle Lhe 8ay of Salamls wlll be crossed and a day glven Lo CorlnLh whence Lhe
voyage wlll be conLlnued Lo ConsLanLlnople passlng on Lhe way Lhrough Lhe Creclan Archlpelago
Lhe uardanelles Lhe Sea of Marmora and Lhe mouLh of Lhe Colden Porn and arrlvlng ln abouL forLy
elghL hours from ALhens

AfLer leavlng ConsLanLlnople Lhe way wlll be Laken ouL Lhrough Lhe beauLlful 8osphorus across
Lhe 8lack Sea Lo SebasLopol and 8alaklava a run of abouL LwenLyfour hours Pere lL ls proposed Lo
remaln Lwo days vlslLlng Lhe harbors forLlflcaLlons and baLLleflelds of Lhe Crlmea Lhence back
Lhrough Lhe 8osphorus Louchlng aL ConsLanLlnople Lo Lake ln any who may have preferred Lo
remaln Lhere down Lhrough Lhe Sea of Marmora and Lhe uardanelles along Lhe coasLs of anclenL
1roy and Lydla ln Asla Lo Smyrna whlch wlll be reached ln Lwo or Lwo and a half days from
ConsLanLlnople A sufflclenL sLay wlll be made here Lo glve opporLunlLy of vlslLlng Lphesus flfLy mlles
dlsLanL by rall

lrom Smyrna Lowards Lhe Poly Land Lhe course wlll lay Lhrough Lhe Creclan


22


Archlpelago close by Lhe lsle of aLmos along Lhe coasL of Asla anclenL amphylla and Lhe lsle of
Cyprus 8elruL wlll be reached ln Lhree days AL 8elruL Llme wlll be glven Lo vlslL uamascus afLer
whlch Lhe sLeamer wlll proceed Lo !oppa


lrom !oppa !erusalem Lhe 8lver !ordan Lhe Sea of 1lberlas nazareLh 8eLhany 8eLhlehem and
oLher polnLs of lnLeresL ln Lhe Poly Land can be vlslLed and here Lhose who may have preferred Lo
make Lhe [ourney from 8elruL Lhrough Lhe counLry passlng Lhrough uamascus Calllee Capernaum
Samarla and by Lhe 8lver !ordan and Sea of 1lberlas can re[oln Lhe sLeamer

Leavlng !oppa Lhe nexL polnL of lnLeresL Lo vlslL wlll be Alexandrla whlch wlll be reached ln
LwenLyfour hours 1he rulns of Caesars alace ompeys lllar CleopaLras needle Lhe CaLacombs
and rulns of anclenL Alexandrla wlll be found worLh Lhe vlslL 1he [ourney Lo Calro one hundred and
LhlrLy mlles by rall can be made ln a few hours and from whlch can be vlslLed Lhe slLe of anclenL
Memphls !osephs Cranarles and Lhe yramlds

lrom Alexandrla Lhe rouLe wlll be Laken homeward calllng aL MalLa Cagllarl (ln Sardlnla) and
alma (ln Ma[orca) all magnlflcenL harbors wlLh charmlng scenery and aboundlng ln frulLs

A day or Lwo wlll be spenL aL each place and leavlng arma ln Lhe evenlng valencla ln Spaln wlll
be reached Lhe nexL mornlng A few days wlll be spenL ln Lhls Lhe flnesL clLy of Spaln

lrom valencla Lhe homeward course wlll be conLlnued sklrLlng along Lhe coasL of Spaln AllcanL
CarLhagena alos and Malaga wlll be passed buL a mlle or Lwo dlsLanL and ClbralLar reached ln
abouL LwenLyfour hours

A sLay of one day wlll be made here and Lhe voyage conLlnued Lo Madelra whlch wlll be reached
ln abouL Lhree days CapLaln MarryaLL wrlLes l do noL know a spoL on Lhe globe whlch so much
asLonlshes and dellghLs upon flrsL arrlval as Madelra A sLay of one or Lwo days wlll be made here
whlch lf Llme permlLs may be exLended and passlng on Lhrough Lhe lslands and probably ln slghL
of Lhe eak of 1enerlffe a souLhern Lrack wlll be Laken and Lhe ALlanLlc crossed wlLhln Lhe laLlLudes
of Lhe norLheasL Lrade wlnds where mlld and pleasanL weaLher and a smooLh sea can always be
expecLed

A call wlll be made aL 8ermuda whlch lles dlrecLly ln Lhls rouLe homeward and wlll be reached ln
abouL Len days from Madelra and afLer spendlng a shorL Llme wlLh our frlends Lhe 8ermudlans Lhe
flnal deparLure wlll be made for home whlch wlll be reached ln abouL Lhree days

Already appllcaLlons have been recelved from parLles ln Lurope wlshlng Lo [oln Lhe Lxcurslon
Lhere

1he shlp wlll aL all Llmes be a home where Lhe excurslonlsLs lf slck wlll be surrounded by klnd
frlends and have all posslble comforL and sympaLhy

Should conLaglous slckness exlsL ln any of Lhe porLs named ln Lhe program such porLs wlll be
passed and oLhers of lnLeresL subsLlLuLed

1he prlce of passage ls flxed aL $1230 currency for each adulL passenger Cholce of rooms and of
seaLs aL Lhe Lables apporLloned ln Lhe order ln whlch passages are engaged and no passage
consldered engaged unLll Len percenL of Lhe passage money ls deposlLed wlLh Lhe Lreasurer




23


assengers can remaln on board of Lhe sLeamer aL all porLs lf Lhey deslre wlLhouL addlLlonal
expense and all boaLlng aL Lhe expense of Lhe shlp

All passages musL be pald for when Laken ln order LhaL Lhe mosL perfecL arrangemenLs be made
for sLarLlng aL Lhe appolnLed Llme

AppllcaLlons for passage musL be approved by Lhe commlLLee before LlckeLs are lssued and can be
made Lo Lhe underslgned

ArLlcles of lnLeresL or curloslLy procured by Lhe passengers durlng Lhe voyage may be broughL
home ln Lhe sLeamer free of charge

llve dollars per day ln gold lL ls belleved wlll be a falr calculaLlon Lo make for all Lravellng
expenses onshore and aL Lhe varlous polnLs where passengers may wlsh Lo leave Lhe sLeamer for
days aL a Llme

1he Lrlp can be exLended and Lhe rouLe changed by unanlmous voLe of Lhe passengers






CPAS C uunCAn
117 WALL S18LL1 nLW ?C8k
8 8 C****** 1reasurer

CommlLLee on AppllcaLlons
! 1 P***** LSC 8 8 C***** LSC C C uuncan

CommlLLee on SelecLlng SLeamer
CA1 W W S* * * * Surveyor for 8oard of underwrlLers

C W C****** ConsulLlng Lnglneer for uS and Canada
! 1 P***** Lsq
C C uunCAn

S 1he very beauLlful and subsLanLlal sldewheel sLeamshlp Cuaker ClLy has been charLered
for Lhe occaslon and wlll leave new ?ork !une 8Lh LeLLers have been lssued by Lhe governmenL
commendlng Lhe parLy Lo courLesles abroad

WhaL was Lhere lacklng abouL LhaL program Lo make lL perfecLly lrreslsLlble? noLhlng LhaL any flnlLe
mlnd could dlscover arls Lngland ScoLland SwlLzerland lLaly Carlbaldl! 1he Creclan
Archlpelago! vesuvlus! ConsLanLlnople! Smyrna! 1he Poly Land! LgypL and our frlends Lhe
8ermudlans! eople ln Lurope deslrlng Lo [oln Lhe excurslon conLaglous slckness Lo be avolded
boaLlng aL Lhe expense of Lhe shlp physlclan on board Lhe clrculL of Lhe globe Lo be made lf Lhe
passengers unanlmously deslred lL Lhe company Lo be rlgldly selecLed by a plLlless CommlLLee on
AppllcaLlons Lhe vessel Lo be as rlgldly selecLed by as plLlless a CommlLLee on SelecLlng SLeamer
Puman


24


naLure could noL wlLhsLand Lhese bewllderlng LempLaLlons l hurrled Lo Lhe Lreasurers offlce and
deposlLed my Len percenL l re[olced Lo know LhaL a few vacanL sLaLerooms were sLlll lefL l dld avold
a crlLlcal personal examlnaLlon lnLo my characLer by LhaL bowelless commlLLee buL l referred Lo all
Lhe people of hlgh sLandlng l could Lhlnk of ln Lhe communlLy who would be leasL llkely Lo know
anyLhlng abouL me


ShorLly a supplemenLary program was lssued whlch seL forLh LhaL Lhe lymouLh CollecLlon of
Pymns would be used on board Lhe shlp l Lhen pald Lhe balance of my passage money

l was provlded wlLh a recelpL and duly and offlclally accepLed as an excurslonlsL 1here was
happlness ln LhaL buL lL was Lame compared Lo Lhe novelLy of belng selecL

1hls supplemenLary program also lnsLrucLed Lhe excurslonlsLs Lo provlde Lhemselves wlLh llghL
muslcal lnsLrumenLs for amusemenL ln Lhe shlp wlLh saddles for Syrlan Lravel green specLacles and
umbrellas vells for LgypL and subsLanLlal cloLhlng Lo use ln rough pllgrlmlzlng ln Lhe Poly Land
lurLhermore lL was suggesLed LhaL alLhough Lhe shlps llbrary would afford a falr amounL of readlng
maLLer lL would sLlll be well lf each passenger would provlde hlmself wlLh a few guldebooks a 8lble
and some sLandard works of Lravel A llsL was appended whlch conslsLed chlefly of books relaLlng Lo
Lhe Poly Land slnce Lhe Poly Land was parL of Lhe excurslon and seemed Lo be lLs maln feaLure

8everend Penry Ward 8eecher was Lo have accompanled Lhe expedlLlon buL urgenL duLles
obllged hlm Lo glve up Lhe ldea 1here were oLher passengers who could have been spared beLLer
and would have been spared more wllllngly LleuLenanL Ceneral Sherman was Lo have been of Lhe
parLy also buL Lhe lndlan war compelled hls presence on Lhe plalns A popular acLress had enLered
her name on Lhe shlps books buL someLhlng lnLerfered and she couldnL go 1he urummer 8oy of
Lhe oLomac deserLed and lo we had never a celebrlLy lefL!

Powever we were Lo have a baLLery of guns from Lhe navy ueparLmenL (as per adverLlsemenL)
Lo be used ln


23


answerlng royal saluLes and Lhe documenL furnlshed by Lhe SecreLary of Lhe navy whlch was Lo
make Ceneral Sherman and parLy welcome guesLs ln Lhe courLs and camps of Lhe old world was
sLlll lefL Lo us Lhough boLh documenL and baLLery l Lhlnk were shorn of somewhaL of Lhelr orlglnal
augusL proporLlons Powever had noL we Lhe seducLlve program sLlll wlLh lLs arls lLs
ConsLanLlnople Smyrna !erusalem !erlcho and our frlends Lhe 8ermudlans? WhaL dld we care?

ChapLer 2
CPA1L8 ll



26



CCCASlCnALL? durlng Lhe followlng monLh l dropped ln aL 117 Wall SLreeL Lo lnqulre how Lhe
repalrlng and refurnlshlng of Lhe vessel was comlng on how addlLlons Lo Lhe passenger llsL were
averaglng how many people Lhe commlLLee were decreelng noL selecL every day and banlshlng ln
sorrow and LrlbulaLlon l was glad Lo know LhaL we were Lo have a llLLle prlnLlng press on board and
lssue a dally newspaper of our own l was glad Lo learn LhaL our plano our parlor organ and our
melodeon were Lo be Lhe besL lnsLrumenLs of Lhe klnd LhaL could be had ln Lhe markeL l was proud
Lo observe LhaL among our excurslonlsLs were Lhree mlnlsLers of Lhe gospel elghL docLors slxLeen or
elghLeen ladles several mlllLary and naval chlefLalns wlLh soundlng LlLles an ample crop of
rofessors of varlous klnds and a genLleman who had CCMMlSSlCnL8 Cl 1PL unl1Lu S1A1LS
Cl AML8lCA 1C Lu8CL ASlA Anu Al8lCA Lhunderlng afLer hls name ln one awful blasL! l had
carefully prepared myself Lo Lake raLher a back seaL ln LhaL shlp because of Lhe uncommonly selecL
maLerlal LhaL would alone be permlLLed Lo pass Lhrough Lhe camels eye of LhaL commlLLee on
credenLlals l had schooled myself Lo expecL an lmposlng array of mlllLary and naval heroes and Lo
have Lo seL LhaL back seaL sLlll furLher back ln consequence of lL maybe buL l sLaLe frankly LhaL l was
all unprepared for Lhls crusher

l fell under LhaL LlLular avalanche a Lorn and bllghLed Lhlng l sald LhaL lf LhaL poLenLaLe musL go
over ln our shlp why l supposed he musL buL LhaL Lo my Lhlnklng when Lhe unlLed


27


SLaLes consldered lL necessary Lo send a dlgnlLary of LhaL Lonnage across Lhe ocean lL would be ln
beLLer LasLe and safer Lo Lake hlm aparL and carL hlm over ln secLlons ln several shlps


Ah lf l had only known Lhen LhaL he was only a common morLal and LhaL hls mlsslon had noLhlng
more overpowerlng abouL lL Lhan Lhe collecLlng of seeds and uncommon yams and exLraordlnary
cabbages and pecullar bullfrogs for LhaL poor useless lnnocenL mlldewed old fossll Lhe SmlLhsonlan
lnsLlLuLe l would have felL so much relleved

uurlng LhaL memorable monLh l basked ln Lhe happlness of belng for once ln my llfe drlfLlng wlLh
Lhe Llde of a greaL popular movemenL Lverybody was golng Lo Lurope l Loo was golng Lo Lurope
Lverybody was golng Lo Lhe famous arls LxposlLlon l Loo was golng Lo Lhe arls LxposlLlon 1he
sLeamshlp llnes were carrylng Amerlcans ouL of Lhe varlous porLs of Lhe counLry aL Lhe raLe of four or
flve Lhousand a week ln Lhe aggregaLe lf l meL a dozen lndlvlduals durlng LhaL monLh who were noL
golng Lo Lurope shorLly l have no dlsLlncL remembrance of lL now l walked abouL Lhe clLy a good
deal wlLh a young Mr 8lucher who was booked for Lhe excurslon Pe was confldlng goodnaLured
unsophlsLlcaLed companlonable buL he was noL a man Lo seL Lhe rlver on flre Pe had Lhe mosL
exLraordlnary noLlons abouL Lhls Luropean exodus and came aL lasL Lo conslder Lhe whole naLlon as
packlng up for emlgraLlon Lo lrance We sLepped lnLo a sLore on 8roadway one day where he
boughL a handkerchlef and when Lhe man could noL make change Mr 8 sald

never mlnd lll hand lL Lo you ln arls

8uL l am noL golng Lo arls

Pow ls whaL dld l undersLand you Lo say?

l sald l am noL golng Lo arls

noL golng Lo arls! noL g well Lhen where ln Lhe naLlon are you golng Lo?

nowhere aL all

noL anywhere whaLsoever? noL any place on earLh buL Lhls?




28


noL any place aL all buL [usL Lhls sLay here all summer

My comrade Look hls purchase and walked ouL of Lhe sLore wlLhouL a word walked ouL wlLh an
ln[ured look upon hls counLenance up Lhe sLreeL aplece he broke sllence and sald lmpresslvely lL
was a lle LhaL ls my oplnlon of lL!

ln Lhe fullness of Llme Lhe shlp was ready Lo recelve her passengers l was lnLroduced Lo Lhe young
genLleman who was Lo be my roommaLe and found hlm Lo be lnLelllgenL cheerful of splrlL
unselflsh full of generous lmpulses paLlenL conslderaLe and wonderfully goodnaLured noL any
passenger LhaL salled ln Lhe Cuaker ClLy wlll wlLhhold hls endorsemenL of whaL l have [usL sald We
selecLed a sLaLeroom forward of


29


Lhe wheel on Lhe sLarboard slde below decks lL bad Lwo berLhs ln lL a dlsmal deadllghL a slnk
wlLh a washbowl ln lL and a long sumpLuously cushloned locker whlch was Lo do servlce as a sofa
parLly and parLly as a hldlng place for our Lhlngs noLwlLhsLandlng all Lhls furnlLure Lhere was sLlll
room Lo Lurn around ln buL noL Lo swlng a caL ln aL leasL wlLh enLlre securlLy Lo Lhe caL Powever
Lhe room was large for a shlps sLaLeroom and was ln every way saLlsfacLory


1he vessel was appolnLed Lo sall on a cerLaln SaLurday early ln !une

A llLLle afLer noon on LhaL dlsLlngulshed SaLurday l reached Lhe shlp and wenL on board All was
busLle and confuslon l have seen LhaL remark before somewhere 1he pler was crowded wlLh
carrlages and men passengers were arrlvlng and hurrylng on board Lhe vessels decks were
encumbered wlLh Lrunks and vallses groups of excurslonlsLs arrayed ln unaLLracLlve Lravellng
cosLumes were moplng abouL ln a drlzzllng raln and looklng as droopy and woebegone as so many
molLlng chlckens 1he gallanL flag was up buL lL was under Lhe spell Loo and hung llmp and
dlshearLened by Lhe masL AlLogeLher lL was Lhe bluesL bluesL specLacle! lL was a pleasure excurslon
Lhere was no galnsaylng LhaL because Lhe program sald so lL was so nomlnaLed ln Lhe bond
buL lL surely hadnL Lhe general aspecL of one

llnally above Lhe banglng and rumbllng and shouLlng and hlsslng of sLeam rang Lhe order Lo
casL off! a sudden rush Lo Lhe gangways a scamperlng ashore of vlslLorsa revoluLlon of Lhe
wheels and we were off Lhe plcnlc was begun! 1wo very mlld cheers wenL up from Lhe drlpplng
crowd on Lhe pler we answered Lhem genLly from Lhe sllppery decks Lhe flag made an efforL Lo
wave and falled Lhe baLLery of guns spake noL Lhe ammunlLlon was ouL

We sLeamed down Lo Lhe fooL of Lhe harbor and came Lo anchor lL was sLlll ralnlng And noL only
ralnlng buL sLormlng CuLslde we could see ourselves LhaL Lhere was a Lremendous sea on We
musL lle sLlll ln Lhe calm harbor Llll Lhe sLorm should abaLe Cur passengers halled from flfLeen


30


sLaLes only a few of Lhem had ever been Lo sea before manlfesLly lL would noL do Lo plL Lhem
agalnsL a fullblown LempesL unLll Lhey had goL Lhelr sealegs on 1oward evenlng Lhe Lwo sLeam Lugs
LhaL had accompanled us wlLh a rolllcklng champagneparLy of young new ?orkers on board who
wlshed Lo bld farewell Lo one of our number ln due and anclenL form deparLed and we were alone
on Lhe deep Cn deep flve faLhoms and anchored fasL Lo Lhe boLLom And ouL ln Lhe solemn raln aL
LhaL 1hls was pleasurlng wlLh a vengeance


lL was an approprlaLe rellef when Lhe gong sounded for prayer meeLlng 1he flrsL SaLurday nlghL of
any oLher pleasure excurslon mlghL have been devoLed Lo whlsL and danclng buL l submlL lL Lo Lhe
unpre[udlced mlnd lf lL would have been ln good LasLe for us Lo engage ln such frlvollLles conslderlng
whaL we had gone Lhrough and Lhe frame of mlnd


31


we were ln We would have shone aL a wake buL noL aL anyLhlng more fesLlve

Powever Lhere ls always a cheerlng lnfluence abouL Lhe sea and ln my berLh LhaL nlghL rocked by
Lhe measured swell of Lhe waves and lulled by Lhe murmur of Lhe dlsLanL surf l soon passed
Lranqullly ouL of all consclousness of Lhe dreary experlences of Lhe day and damaglng premonlLlons
of Lhe fuLure
ChapLer 3
CPA1L8 lll



32



ALL day Sunday aL anchor 1he sLorm had gone down a greaL deal buL Lhe sea had noL lL was sLlll
plllng lLs froLhy hllls hlgh ln alr ouLslde as we could plalnly see wlLh Lhe glasses We could noL
properly begln a pleasure excurslon on Sunday we could noL offer unLrled sLomachs Lo so plLlless a
sea as LhaL We musL lle sLlll Llll Monday And we dld 8uL we had repeLlLlons of church and prayer
meeLlngs and so of course we were [usL as ellglbly slLuaLed as we could have been any where

l was up early LhaL SabbaLh mornlng and was early Lo breakfasL l felL a perfecLly naLural deslre Lo
have a good long unpre[udlced look aL Lhe passengers aL a Llme when Lhey should be free from self
consclousness whlch ls aL breakfasL when such a momenL occurs ln Lhe llves of human belngs aL
all

l was greaLly surprlsed Lo see so many elderly people l mlghL almosL say so many venerable
people A glance aL Lhe long llnes of heads was apL Lo make one Lhlnk lL was all gray 8uL lL was noL
1here was a Lolerably falr sprlnkllng of young folks and anoLher falr sprlnkllng of genLlemen and
ladles who were noncommlLLal as Lo age belng nelLher acLually old or absoluLely young

1he nexL mornlng we welghed anchor and wenL Lo sea lL was a greaL happlness Lo geL away afLer
Lhls dragglng dlsplrlLlng delay l LhoughL Lhere never was such gladness ln Lhe alr before such
brlghLness ln Lhe sun such beauLy ln Lhe


33


sea l was saLlsfled wlLh Lhe plcnlc Lhen and wlLh all lLs belonglngs All my mallclous lnsLlncLs were
dead wlLhln me and as Amerlca faded ouL of slghL l Lhlnk a splrlL of charlLy rose up ln Lhelr place
LhaL was as boundless for Lhe Llme belng as Lhe broad ocean LhaL was heavlng lLs blllows abouL us l
wlshed Lo express my feellngs l wlshed Lo llfL up my volce and slng buL l dld noL know anyLhlng Lo
slng and so l was obllged Lo glve up Lhe ldea lL was no loss Lo Lhe shlp Lhough perhaps


lL was breezy and pleasanL buL Lhe sea was sLlll very rough Cne could noL promenade wlLhouL
rlsklng hls neck aL one momenL Lhe bowsprlL was Laklng a deadly alm aL Lhe sun ln mldheaven and
aL Lhe nexL lL was Lrylng Lo harpoon a shark ln Lhe boLLom of Lhe ocean WhaL a welrd sensaLlon lL ls
Lo feel Lhe sLem of a shlp slnklng swlfLly from under you and see Lhe bow cllmblng hlgh away among
Lhe clouds! Cnes safesL course LhaL day was Lo clasp a ralllng and hang on walklng was Loo
precarlous a pasLlme


8y some happy forLune l was noL seaslck 1haL was a Lhlng Lo be proud of l had noL always
escaped before lf Lhere ls one Lhlng ln Lhe world LhaL wlll make a man pecullarly and lnsufferably
selfconcelLed lL ls Lo have hls sLomach behave lLself Lhe flrsL day lL sea when nearly all hls
comrades are seaslck Soon a venerable fossll shawled Lo Lhe chln and bandaged llke a mummy
appeared aL Lhe door of Lhe afLer deckhouse and Lhe nexL lurch of Lhe shlp shoL hlm lnLo my arms l
sald

Coodmornlng Slr lL ls a flne day

Pe puL hls hand on hls sLomach and sald Ch my! and Lhen sLaggered away and fell over Lhe
coop of a skyllghL

resenLly anoLher old genLleman was pro[ecLed from Lhe same door wlLh greaL vlolence l sald

Calm yourself Slr 1here ls no hurry lL ls a flne day Slr

Pe also puL hls hand on hls sLomach and sald Ch my! and reeled away




34


ln a llLLle whlle anoLher veLeran was dlscharged abrupLly from Lhe same door clawlng aL Lhe alr for
a savlng supporL l sald

Cood mornlng Slr lL ls a flne day for pleasurlng ?ou were abouL Lo say

Ch my!

l LhoughL so l anLlclpaLed hlm anyhow l sLayed Lhere and was bombarded wlLh old genLlemen for
an hour perhaps and all l goL ouL of any of Lhem was Ch my!

l wenL away Lhen ln a LhoughLful mood l sald Lhls ls a good pleasure excurslon l llke lL 1he
passengers are noL garrulous buL sLlll Lhey are soclable l llke Lhose old people


33


buL somehow Lhey all seem Lo have Lhe Ch my raLher bad


l knew whaL was Lhe maLLer wlLh Lhem 1hey were seaslck And l was glad of lL We all llke Lo see
people seaslck when we are noL ourselves laylng whlsL by Lhe cabln lamps when lL ls sLormlng
ouLslde ls pleasanL walklng Lhe quarLerdeck ln Lhe moonllghL ls pleasanL smoklng ln Lhe breezy
foreLop ls pleasanL when one ls noL afrald Lo go up Lhere buL Lhese are all feeble and commonplace
compared wlLh Lhe [oy of seelng people sufferlng Lhe mlserles of seaslckness

l plcked up a good deal of lnformaLlon durlng Lhe afLernoon AL one Llme l was cllmblng up Lhe
quarLerdeck when Lhe vessels sLem was ln Lhe sky l was smoklng a clgar and feellng passably
comforLable Somebody e[aculaLed

Come now LhaL wonL answer 8ead Lhe slgn up Lhere nC SMCklnC A8Al1 1PL WPLLL!

lL was CapLaln uuncan chlef of Lhe expedlLlon l wenL forward of course l saw a long spyglass
lylng on a desk ln one of Lhe upperdeck sLaLerooms back of Lhe plloLhouse and reached afLer lL
Lhere was a shlp ln Lhe dlsLance

Ah ah hands off! Come ouL of LhaL!

l came ouL of LhaL l sald Lo a decksweep buL ln a low volce

Who ls LhaL overgrown plraLe wlLh Lhe whlskers and Lhe dlscordanL volce?

lLs CapLaln 8ursley execuLlve offlcer salllng masLer

l lolLered abouL awhlle and Lhen for wanL of someLhlng beLLer Lo do fell Lo carvlng a ralllng wlLh
my knlfe Somebody sald ln an lnslnuaLlng admonlLory volce

now say my frlend donL you know any beLLer Lhan Lo be whlLLllng Lhe shlp all Lo pleces LhaL
way? ?ou oughL Lo know beLLer Lhan LhaL

l wenL back and found Lhe deck sweep

Who ls LhaL smooLhfaced anlmaLed ouLrage yonder ln Lhe flne cloLhes?

1haLs CapLaln L**** Lhe owner of Lhe shlp hes one of Lhe maln bosses




36


ln Lhe course of Llme l broughL up on Lhe sLarboard slde of Lhe plloLhouse and found a sexLanL lylng
on a bench now l sald Lhey Lake Lhe sun Lhrough Lhls Lhlng l should Lhlnk l mlghL see LhaL vessel
Lhrough lL l had hardly goL lL Lo my eye when someone Louched me on Lhe shoulder and sald
deprecaLlngly


lll have Lo geL you Lo glve LhaL Lo me Slr lf Lheres anyLhlng youd llke Lo know abouL Laklng Lhe
sun ld as soon Lell you as noL buL l donL llke Lo LrusL anybody wlLh LhaL lnsLrumenL lf you wanL
any flgurlng done Aye aye slr!

Pe was gone Lo answer a call from Lhe oLher slde l soughL Lhe decksweep

Who ls LhaL splderlegged gorllla yonder wlLh Lhe sancLlmonlous counLenance?

lLs CapLaln !ones slr Lhe chlef maLe




37


Well 1hls goes clear away ahead of anyLhlng l ever heard of before uo you now l ask you as a
man and a broLher do you Lhlnk l could venLure Lo Lhrow a rock here ln any glven dlrecLlon
wlLhouL hlLLlng a capLaln of Lhls shlp?


Well slr l donL know l Lhlnk llkely youd feLch Lhe capLaln of Lhe waLch may be because hes a
sLandlng rlghL yonder ln Lhe way

l wenL below medlLaLlng and a llLLle downhearLed l LhoughL lf flve cooks can spoll a broLh whaL
may noL flve capLalns do wlLh a pleasure excurslon
ChapLer 4
CPA1L8 lv



38



WL plowed along bravely for a week or more and wlLhouL any confllcL of [urlsdlcLlon among Lhe
capLalns worLh menLlonlng 1he passengers soon learned Lo accommodaLe Lhemselves Lo Lhelr new
clrcumsLances and llfe ln Lhe shlp became nearly as sysLemaLlcally monoLonous as Lhe rouLlne of a
barrack l do noL mean LhaL lL was dull for lL was noL enLlrely so by any means buL Lhere was a
good deal of sameness abouL lL As ls always Lhe fashlon aL sea Lhe passengers shorLly began Lo plck
up sallor Lerms a slgn LhaL Lhey were beglnnlng Lo feel aL home PalfpasL slx was no longer half
pasL slx Lo Lhese pllgrlms from new Lngland Lhe SouLh and Lhe Mlsslsslppl valley lL was seven
bells elghL Lwelve and four oclock were elghL bells Lhe capLaln dld noL Lake Lhe longlLude aL
nlne oclock buL aL Lwo bells 1hey spoke gllbly of Lhe afLer cabln Lhe forrard cabln porL and
sLarboard and Lhe focasLle

AL seven bells Lhe flrsL gong rang aL elghL Lhere was breakfasL for such as were noL Loo seaslck Lo
eaL lL AfLer LhaL all Lhe well people walked armlnarm up and down Lhe long promenade deck
en[oylng Lhe flne summer mornlngs and Lhe seaslck ones crawled ouL and propped Lhemselves up ln
Lhe lee of Lhe paddleboxes and aLe Lhelr dlsmal Lea and LoasL and looked wreLched lrom eleven
oclock unLll luncheon and from luncheon unLll dlnner aL slx ln Lhe evenlng Lhe employmenLs and
amusemenLs were varlous Some readlng was done and much smoklng and sewlng Lhough noL by
Lhe same parLles Lhere were Lhe monsLers of Lhe deep Lo be looked afLer


39


and wondered aL sLrange shlps had Lo be scruLlnlzed Lhrough operaglasses and sage declslons
arrlved aL concernlng Lhem and more Lhan LhaL everybody Look a personal lnLeresL ln seelng LhaL
Lhe flag was run up and pollLely dlpped Lhree Llmes ln response Lo Lhe saluLes of Lhose sLrangers ln
Lhe smoklng room Lhere were always parLles of genLlemen playlng euchre draughLs and domlnoes
especlally domlnoes LhaL dellghLfully harmless game and down on Lhe maln deck forrard
forrard of Lhe chlckencoops and Lhe caLLle we had whaL was called horse bllllards Porse
bllllards ls a flne game lL affords good acLlve exerclse hllarlLy and consumlng exclLemenL lL ls a
mlxLure of hopscoLch and shuffleboard played wlLh a cruLch A large hopscoLch dlagram ls
marked ouL on Lhe deck wlLh chalk and each comparLmenL numbered ?ou sLand off Lhree or four
sLeps wlLh some broad wooden dlsks before you on Lhe deck and Lhese you send forward wlLh a
vlgorous LhrusL of a long cruLch lf a dlsk sLops on a chalk llne lL does noL counL anyLhlng lf lL sLops
ln dlvlslon no 7 lL counLs 7 ln 3 lL counLs 3 and so on 1he game ls 100 and four can play aL a Llme
1haL game would be very slmple played on a sLaLlonary floor buL wlLh us Lo play lL well requlred
sclence We had Lo allow for Lhe reellng of Lhe shlp Lo Lhe rlghL or Lhe lefL very ofLen one made
calculaLlons for a heel Lo Lhe rlghL and Lhe shlp dld noL go LhaL way 1he consequence was LhaL LhaL
dlsk mlssed Lhe whole hopscoLch plan a yard or Lwo and Lhen Lhere was humlllaLlon on one slde and
laughLer on Lhe oLher


When lL ralned Lhe passengers had Lo sLay ln Lhe house of course or aL leasL Lhe cablns and
amuse Lhemselves wlLh games readlng looklng ouL of Lhe wlndows aL Lhe very famlllar blllows and
Lalklng gosslp

8y 7 oclock ln Lhe evenlng dlnner was abouL over an hours promenade on Lhe upper deck
followed Lhen Lhe gong sounded and a large ma[orlLy of Lhe parLy repalred Lo Lhe afLer cabln
(upper) a handsome saloon flfLy or slxLy feeL long for prayers 1he unregeneraLed called Lhls saloon
Lhe Synagogue 1he devoLlons conslsLed only of Lwo hymns from Lhe lymouLh CollecLlon and a
shorL prayer and seldom


40


occupled more Lhan flfLeen mlnuLes 1he hymns were accompanled by parlororgan muslc when Lhe
sea was smooLh enough Lo allow a performer Lo slL aL Lhe lnsLrumenL wlLhouL belng lashed Lo hls
chalr

AfLer prayers Lhe Synagogue shorLly Look Lhe semblance of a wrlLlng school 1he llke of LhaL
plcLure was never seen ln a shlp before 8ehlnd Lhe long dlnlng Lables on elLher slde of Lhe saloon
and scaLLered from one end Lo Lhe oLher of Lhe laLLer some LwenLy or LhlrLy genLlemen and ladles
saL Lhem down under Lhe swaylng lamps and for Lwo or Lhree hours wroLe dlllgenLly ln Lhelr [ournals
Alas! LhaL [ournals so volumlnously begun should come Lo so lame and lmpoLenL a concluslon as
mosL of Lhem dld! l doubL lf Lhere ls a slngle pllgrlm of all LhaL hosL buL can show a hundred falr
pages of [ournal concernlng Lhe flrsL LwenLy days voyaglng ln Lhe Cuaker ClLy and l am morally
cerLaln LhaL noL Len of Lhe parLy can show LwenLy pages of [ournal for Lhe succeedlng LwenLy
Lhousand mlles of voyaglng! AL cerLaln perlods lL becomes Lhe dearesL amblLlon of a man Lo keep a
falLhful record of hls performances ln a book and he dashes aL Lhls work wlLh an enLhuslasm LhaL
lmposes on hlm Lhe noLlon LhaL keeplng a [ournal ls Lhe verlesL pasLlme ln Lhe world and Lhe
pleasanLesL 8uL lf he only llves LwenLyone days he wlll flnd ouL LhaL only Lhose rare naLures LhaL
are made up of pluck endurance devoLlon Lo duLy for duLys sake and lnvlnclble deLermlnaLlon may
hope Lo venLure upon so Lremendous an enLerprlse as Lhe keeplng of a [ournal and noL susLaln a
shameful defeaL

Cne of our favorlLe youLhs !ack a splendld young fellow wlLh a head full of good sense and a palr
of legs LhaL were a wonder Lo look upon ln Lhe way of lengLh and sLralghLness and sllmness used Lo
reporL progress every mornlng ln Lhe mosL glowlng and splrlLed way and say

Ch lm comlng along bully! (he was a llLLle glven Lo slang ln hls happler moods) l wroLe Len
pages ln my [ournal lasL nlghL and you know l wroLe nlne Lhe nlghL before and Lwelve Lhe nlghL
before LhaL Why lLs only fun!

WhaL do you flnd Lo puL ln lL !ack?




41


Ch everyLhlng LaLlLude and longlLude noon every day and how many mlles we made lasL LwenLy
four hours and all Lhe domlno games l beaL and horse bllllards and whales and sharks and
porpolses and Lhe LexL of Lhe sermon Sundays (because LhaLll Lell aL home you know) and Lhe
shlps we saluLed and whaL naLlon Lhey were and whlch way Lhe wlnd was and wheLher Lhere was a
heavy sea and whaL sall we carrled Lhough we donL ever carry any prlnclpally golng agalnsL a head
wlnd always wonder whaL ls Lhe reason of LhaL? and how many lles MoulL has Lold Ch every
Lhlng! lve goL everyLhlng down My faLher Lold me Lo keep LhaL [ournal laLher wouldnL Lake a
Lhousand dollars for lL when l geL lL done


no !ack lL wlll be worLh more Lhan a Lhousand dollars when you geL lL done

uo you? no buL do you Lhlnk lL wlll Lhough?

?es lL wlll be worLh aL leasL as much as a Lhousand dollars when you geL lL done May be
more

Well l abouL half Lhlnk so myself lL alnL no slouch of a [ournal

8uL lL shorLly became a mosL lamenLable slouch of a [ournal Cne nlghL ln arls afLer a hard
days Loll ln slghLseelng l sald

now lll go and sLroll around Lhe cafes awhlle !ack and glve you a chance Lo wrlLe up your
[ournal old fellow

Pls counLenance losL lLs flre Pe sald

Well no you neednL mlnd l Lhlnk l wonL run LhaL [ournal anymore lL ls awful Ledlous uo you
know l reckon lm as much as four Lhousand pages behlnd hand l havenL goL any lrance ln lL aL
all llrsL l LhoughL ld leave lrance ouL and sLarL fresh 8uL LhaL wouldnL do would lL? 1he governor
would say Pello here dldnL see anyLhlng ln lrance? 1haL caL wouldnL flghL you know llrsL l
LhoughL ld copy lrance ouL of Lhe guldebook llke old 8adger ln Lhe forrard cabln whos wrlLlng a
book buL Lheres more Lhan Lhree hundred pages of lL Ch l donL Lhlnk a [ournals any use do
you? 1heyre only a boLher alnL Lhey?




42


?es a [ournal LhaL ls lncompleLe lsnL of much use buL a [ournal properly kepL ls worLh a Lhousand
dollars when youve goL lL done


A Lhousand! well l should Lhlnk so l wouldnL flnlsh lL for a mllllon

Pls experlence was only Lhe experlence of Lhe ma[orlLy of LhaL lndusLrlous nlghL school ln Lhe
cabln lf you wlsh Lo lnfllcL a hearLless and mallgnanL punlshmenL upon a young person pledge hlm
Lo keep a [ournal a year

A good many expedlenLs were resorLed Lo Lo keep Lhe excurslonlsLs amused and saLlsfled A club
was formed of all Lhe passengers whlch meL ln Lhe wrlLlng school afLer prayers and


43


read aloud abouL Lhe counLrles we were approachlng and dlscussed Lhe lnformaLlon so obLalned

Several Llmes Lhe phoLographer of Lhe expedlLlon broughL ouL hls LransparenL plcLures and gave us
a handsome maglclanLern exhlblLlon Pls vlews were nearly all of forelgn scenes buL Lhere were
one or Lwo home plcLures among Lhem Pe adverLlsed LhaL he would open hls performance ln Lhe
afLer cabln aL Lwo bells (nlne M) and show Lhe passengers where Lhey shall evenLually arrlve
whlch was all very well buL by a funny accldenL Lhe flrsL plcLure LhaL flamed ouL upon Lhe canvas
was a vlew of Creenwood CemeLery!

Cn several sLarllghL nlghLs we danced on Lhe upper deck under Lhe awnlngs and made someLhlng
of a ballroom dlsplay of brllllancy by hanglng a number of shlps lanLerns Lo Lhe sLanchlons Cur
muslc conslsLed of Lhe wellmlxed sLralns of a melodeon whlch was a llLLle asLhmaLlc and apL Lo
caLch lLs breaLh where lL oughL Lo come ouL sLrong a clarlneL whlch was a llLLle unrellable on Lhe
hlgh keys and raLher melancholy on Lhe low ones and a dlsrepuLable accordlon LhaL had a leak
somewhere and breaLhed louder Lhan lL squawked a more eleganL Lerm does noL occur Lo me [usL
now Powever Lhe danclng was lnflnlLely worse Lhan Lhe muslc When Lhe shlp rolled Lo sLarboard
Lhe whole plaLoon of dancers came charglng down Lo sLarboard wlLh lL and broughL up ln mass aL
Lhe rall and when lL rolled Lo porL Lhey wenL flounderlng down Lo porL wlLh Lhe same unanlmlLy of
senLlmenL WalLzers spun around precarlously for a maLLer of flfLeen seconds and Lhen wenL
scurrylng down Lo Lhe rall as lf Lhey meanL Lo go overboard 1he vlrglnla reel as performed on board
Lhe Cuaker ClLy had more genulne reel abouL lL Lhan any reel l ever saw before and was as full of
lnLeresL Lo Lhe specLaLor as lL was full of desperaLe chances and halrbreadLh escapes Lo Lhe
parLlclpanL We gave up danclng flnally

We celebraLed a ladys blrLhday annlversary wlLh LoasLs speeches a poem and so forLh We also
had a mock Lrlal no shlp ever wenL Lo sea LhaL hadnL a mock Lrlal on board 1he purser was accused
of sLeallng an overcoaL from sLaLeroom


44


no 10 A [udge was appolnLed also clerks a crler of Lhe courL consLables sherlffs counsel for Lhe
SLaLe and for Lhe defendanL wlLnesses were subpoenaed and a [ury empaneled afLer much
challenglng 1he wlLnesses were sLupld and unrellable and conLradlcLory as wlLnesses always are
1he counsel were eloquenL argumenLaLlve and vlndlcLlvely abuslve of each oLher as was
characLerlsLlc and proper 1he case was aL lasL submlLLed and duly flnlshed by Lhe [udge wlLh an
absurd declslon and a rldlculous senLence


1he acLlng of charades was Lrled on several evenlngs by Lhe young genLlemen and ladles ln Lhe
cablns and proved Lhe mosL dlsLlngulshed success of all Lhe amusemenL experlmenLs

An aLLempL was made Lo organlze a debaLlng club buL lL was a fallure 1here was no oraLorlcal
LalenL ln Lhe shlp

We all en[oyed ourselves l Lhlnk l can safely say LhaL buL


43


lL was ln a raLher quleL way We very very seldom played Lhe plano we played Lhe fluLe and Lhe
clarlneL LogeLher and made good muslc Loo whaL Lhere was of lL buL we always played Lhe same
old Lune lL was a very preLLy Lune how well l remember lL l wonder when l shall ever geL rld of lL
We never played elLher Lhe melodeon or Lhe organ excepL aL devoLlons buL l am Loo fasL young
AlberL dld know parL of a Lune someLhlng abouL C SomeLhlngCrCLher Pow SweeL lL ls Lo know
1haL Pes Pls WhaLshlsname (l do noL remember Lhe exacL LlLle of lL buL lL was very plalnLlve and
full of senLlmenL) AlberL played LhaL preLLy much all Lhe Llme unLll we conLracLed wlLh hlm Lo
resLraln hlmself 8uL nobody ever sang by moonllghL on Lhe upper deck and Lhe congregaLlonal
slnglng aL church and prayers was noL of a superlor order of archlLecLure l puL up wlLh lL as long as l
could and Lhen [olned ln and Lrled Lo lmprove lL buL Lhls encouraged young Ceorge Lo [oln ln Loo
and LhaL made a fallure of lL because Ceorges volce was [usL Lurnlng and when he was slnglng a
dlsmal sorL of bass lL was apL Lo fly off Lhe handle and sLarLle everybody wlLh a mosL dlscordanL
cackle on Lhe upper noLes Ceorge dldnL know Lhe Lunes elLher whlch was also a drawback Lo hls
performances l sald


Come now Ceorge donL lmprovlse lL looks Loo egoLlsLlcal lL wlll provoke remark !usL sLlck Lo
CoronaLlon llke Lhe oLhers lL ls a good Lune you canL lmprove lL any [usL offhand ln Lhls way

Why lm noL Lrylng Lo lmprove lL and l am slnglng llke Lhe oLhers [usL as lL ls ln Lhe noLes

And he honesLly LhoughL he was Loo and so he had no one Lo blame buL hlmself when hls volce
caughL on Lhe cenLer occaslonally and gave hlm Lhe lock[aw

1here were Lhose among Lhe unregeneraLed who aLLrlbuLed Lhe unceaslng headwlnds Lo our
dlsLresslng cholrmuslc 1here were Lhose who sald openly LhaL lL was Laklng chances enough Lo have
such ghasLly muslc golng on even when lL was aL lLs besL and LhaL Lo exaggeraLe Lhe crlme by leLLlng
Ceorge help was slmply flylng ln Lhe face of rovldence 1hese sald LhaL


46


Lhe cholr would keep up Lhelr laceraLlng aLLempLs aL melody unLll Lhey would brlng down a sLorm
some day LhaL would slnk Lhe shlp

1here were even grumblers aL Lhe prayers 1he execuLlve offlcer sald Lhe pllgrlms had no charlLy

1here Lhey are down Lhere every nlghL aL elghL bells praylng for falr wlnds when Lhey know as
well as l do LhaL Lhls ls Lhe only shlp golng easL Lhls Llme of Lhe year buL Lheres a Lhousand comlng
wesL whaLs a falr wlnd for us ls a head wlnd Lo Lhem Lhe AlmlghLys blowlng a falr wlnd for a
Lhousand vessels and Lhls Lrlbe wanLs hlm Lo Lurn lL clear around so as Lo accommodaLe one and
she a sLeamshlp aL LhaL! lL alnL good sense lL alnL good reason lL alnL good ChrlsLlanlLy lL alnL
common human charlLy AvasL wlLh such nonsense!
ChapLer 3
CPA1L8 v



47



1AklnC lL by and large as Lhe sallors say we had a pleasanL Len days run from new ?ork Lo Lhe
Azores lslands noL a fasL run for Lhe dlsLance ls only LwenLyfour hundred mlles buL a rlghL
pleasanL one ln Lhe maln 1rue we had head wlnds all Lhe Llme and several sLormy experlences
whlch senL flfLy percenL of Lhe passengers Lo bed slck and made Lhe shlp look dlsmal and deserLed
sLormy experlences LhaL all wlll remember who weaLhered Lhem on Lhe Lumbllng deck and caughL
Lhe vasL sheeLs of spray LhaL every now and Lhen sprang hlgh ln alr from Lhe weaLher bow and swepL
Lhe shlp llke a Lhundershower buL for Lhe mosL parL we had balmy summer weaLher and nlghLs LhaL
were even flner Lhan Lhe days We had Lhe phenomenon of a full moon locaLed [usL ln Lhe same spoL
ln Lhe heavens aL Lhe same hour every nlghL 1he reason of Lhls slngular conducL on Lhe parL of Lhe
moon dld noL occur Lo us aL flrsL buL lL dld afLerward when we reflecLed LhaL we were galnlng abouL
LwenLy mlnuLes every day because we were golng easL so fasL we galned [usL abouL enough every
day Lo keep along wlLh Lhe moon lL was becomlng an old moon Lo Lhe frlends we had lefL behlnd us
buL Lo us !oshuas lL sLood sLlll ln Lhe same place and remalned always Lhe same

?oung Mr 8lucher who ls from Lhe lar WesL and ls on hls flrsL voyage was a good deal worrled by
Lhe consLanLly changlng shlp Llme Pe was proud of hls new waLch aL flrsL and used Lo drag lL ouL
prompLly when elghL bells sLruck aL noon buL he came Lo look afLer a whlle as lf he were loslng


48


confldence ln lL Seven days ouL from new ?ork he came on deck and sald wlLh greaL declslon


1hls Lhlngs a swlndle!

WhaLs a swlndle?

Why Lhls waLch l boughL her ouL ln llllnols gave $130 for her and l LhoughL she was good
And by Ceorge she ls good onshore buL somehow she donL keep up her llck here on Lhe waLer
geLs seaslck may be She sklps she runs along regular enough Llll halfpasL eleven and Lhen all of a
sudden she leLs down lve seL LhaL old regulaLor up fasLer and fasLer Llll lve shoved lL clear around
buL lL donL do any good she [usL dlsLances every waLch ln Lhe shlp and claLLers along ln a way LhaLs
asLonlshlng Llll lL ls noon buL Lhem elghL bells always geLs ln abouL Len mlnuLes ahead of her
anyway l donL know whaL Lo do wlLh her now Shes dolng all she can shes golng her besL galL
buL lL wonL save her now donL you know Lhere alnL a waLch ln Lhe shlp LhaLs maklng beLLer Llme
Lhan she ls buL whaL does lL slgnlfy? When you hear Lhem elghL bells youll flnd her [usL abouL Len
mlnuLes shorL of her score sure

1he shlp was galnlng a full hour every Lhree days and Lhls fellow was Lrylng Lo make hls waLch go
fasL enough Lo keep up Lo her 8uL as he had sald he had pushed Lhe regulaLor up as far as lL would
go and Lhe waLch was on lLs besL galL and so noLhlng was lefL hlm buL Lo fold hls hands and see
Lhe shlp beaL Lhe race We senL hlm Lo Lhe capLaln and he explalned Lo hlm Lhe mysLery of shlp
Llme and seL hls Lroubled mlnd aL resL 1hls young man asked a greaL many quesLlons abouL
seaslckness before we lefL and wanLed Lo know whaL lLs characLerlsLlcs were and how he was Lo Lell
when he had lL Pe found ouL

We saw Lhe usual sharks blackflsh porpolses c of course and by and by large schools of
orLuguese menofwar were added Lo Lhe regular llsL of sea wonders Some of Lhem were whlLe
and some of a brllllanL carmlne color 1he nauLllus ls noLhlng buL a LransparenL web of [elly LhaL
spreads lLself Lo caLch Lhe wlnd and has fleshylooklng sLrlngs a fooL or Lwo


49


long dangllng from lL Lo keep lL sLeady ln Lhe waLer lL ls an accompllshed sallor and has good sallor
[udgmenL lL reefs lLs sall when a sLorm LhreaLens or Lhe wlnd blows preLLy hard and furls lL enLlrely
and goes down when a gale blows Crdlnarlly lL keeps lLs sall weL and ln good salllng order by Lurnlng
over and dlpplng lL ln Lhe waLer for a momenL Seamen say Lhe nauLllus ls only found ln Lhese waLers
beLween Lhe 33Lh and 43Lh parallels of laLlLude


AL Lhree oclock on Lhe mornlng of Lhe LwenLyflrsL of !une we were awakened and noLlfled LhaL
Lhe Azores lslands were ln slghL l sald l dld noL Lake any lnLeresL ln lslands aL Lhree oclock ln Lhe
mornlng 8uL anoLher persecuLor came and Lhen anoLher and anoLher and flnally bellevlng LhaL Lhe
general enLhuslasm would permlL no one Lo slumber ln peace l goL up and wenL sleeplly on deck lL
was flve and a half oclock now and a raw blusLerlng mornlng 1he passengers were huddled abouL
Lhe smokesLacks and forLlfled behlnd venLllaLors and all were wrapped ln wlnLry cosLumes and
looklng sleepy and unhappy ln Lhe plLlless gale and Lhe drenchlng spray




30


1he lsland ln slghL was llores lL seemed only a mounLaln of mud sLandlng up ouL of Lhe dull mlsLs of
Lhe sea 8uL as we bore down upon lL Lhe sun came ouL and made lL a beauLlful plcLure a mass of
green farms and meadows LhaL swelled up Lo a helghL of flfLeen hundred feeL and mlngled lLs upper
ouLllnes wlLh Lhe clouds lL was rlbbed wlLh sharp sLeep rldges and cloven wlLh narrow canyons and
here and Lhere on Lhe helghLs rocky upheavals shaped Lhemselves lnLo mlmlc baLLlemenLs and
casLles and ouL of rlfLed clouds came broad shafLs of sunllghL LhaL palnLed summlL and slope and
glen wlLh bands of flre and lefL belLs of somber shade beLween lL was Lhe aurora borealls of Lhe
frozen pole exlled Lo a summer land!

We sklrLed around LwoLhlrds of Lhe lsland four mlles from shore and all Lhe opera glasses ln Lhe
shlp were called lnLo requlslLlon Lo seLLle dlspuLes as Lo wheLher mossy spoLs on Lhe uplands were
groves of Lrees or groves of weeds or wheLher Lhe whlLe vlllages down by Lhe sea were really
vlllages or only Lhe clusLerlng LombsLones of cemeLerles llnally we sLood Lo sea and bore away for
San Mlguel and llores shorLly became a dome of mud agaln and sank down among Lhe mlsLs and
dlsappeared 8uL Lo many a seaslck passenger lL was good Lo see Lhe green hllls agaln and all were
more cheerful afLer Lhls eplsode Lhan anybody could have expecLed Lhem Lo be conslderlng how
slnfully early Lhey had goLLen up

8uL we had Lo change our purpose abouL San Mlguel for a sLorm came up abouL noon LhaL so
Lossed and plLched Lhe vessel LhaL common sense dlcLaLed a run for shelLer 1herefore we sLeered
for Lhe nearesL lsland of Lhe group layal (Lhe people Lhere pronounce lL lyall and puL Lhe accenL
on Lhe flrsL syllable) We anchored ln Lhe open roadsLead of PorLa half a mlle from Lhe shore 1he
Lown has elghL Lhousand Lo Len Lhousand lnhablLanLs lLs snowwhlLe houses nesLle coslly ln a sea of
fresh green vegeLaLlon and no vlllage could look preLLler or more aLLracLlve lL slLs ln Lhe lap of an
amphlLheaLer of hllls whlch are Lhree hundred Lo seven hundred feeL hlgh and carefully culLlvaLed
clear Lo Lhelr summlLs noL a fooL of soll lefL ldle Lvery farm and every acre ls cuL up lnLo llLLle
square


31


lnclosures by sLone walls whose duLy lL ls Lo proLecL Lhe growlng producLs from Lhe desLrucLlve
gales LhaL blow Lhere 1hese hundreds of green squares marked by Lhelr black lava walls make Lhe
hllls look llke vasL checkerboards


1he lslands belong Lo orLugal and everyLhlng ln layal has orLuguese characLerlsLlcs abouL lL 8uL
more of LhaL anon A swarm of swarLhy nolsy lylng shouldershrugglng gesLlculaLlng orLuguese
boaLmen wlLh brass rlngs ln Lhelr ears and fraud ln Lhelr hearLs cllmbed Lhe shlps sldes and varlous
parLles of us conLracLed wlLh Lhem Lo Lake us ashore aL so much a head sllver coln of any counLry
We landed under Lhe walls of a llLLle forL armed wlLh baLLerles of Lwelveand LhlrLyLwopounders
whlch PorLa consldered a mosL formldable lnsLlLuLlon buL lf we were ever Lo geL afLer lL wlLh one of
our LurreLed monlLors Lhey would have Lo move lL ouL ln Lhe counLry lf Lhey wanLed lL where Lhey
could go and flnd lL agaln when Lhey needed lL 1he group on Lhe pler was a rusLy one men and
women and boys and glrls all ragged and barefooL uncombed and unclean and by lnsLlncL
educaLlon and professlon beggars 1hey Lrooped afLer us and never more whlle we Larrled ln layal
dld we geL rld of Lhem We walked up Lhe mlddle of Lhe prlnclpal sLreeL and Lhese vermln
surrounded us on all sldes and glared upon us and every momenL exclLed couples shoL ahead of Lhe
processlon Lo geL a good look back [usL as vlllage boys do when Lhey accompany Lhe elephanL on hls
adverLlslng Lrlp from sLreeL Lo sLreeL lL was very flaLLerlng Lo me Lo be parL of Lhe maLerlal for such a
sensaLlon Pere and Lhere ln Lhe doorways we saw women wlLh fashlonable orLuguese hoods on
1hls hood ls of Lhlck blue cloLh aLLached Lo a cloak of Lhe same sLuff and ls a marvel of ugllness lL
sLands up hlgh and spreads far abroad and ls unfaLhomably deep lL flLs llke a clrcus LenL and a
womans head ls hldden away ln lL llke Lhe mans who prompLs Lhe slngers from hls Lln shed ln Lhe
sLage of an opera 1here ls no parLlcle of Lrlmmlng abouL Lhls monsLrous capoLe as Lhey call lL lL ls
[usL a plaln ugly deadblue mass of sall and a woman canL go wlLhln elghL polnLs of Lhe wlnd wlLh
one of Lhem on she has


32


Lo go before Lhe wlnd or noL aL all 1he general sLyle of Lhe capoLe ls Lhe same ln all Lhe lslands and
wlll remaln so for Lhe nexL Len Lhousand years buL each lsland shapes lLs capoLes [usL enough
dlfferenLly from Lhe oLhers Lo enable an observer Lo Lell aL a glance whaL parLlcular lsland a lady halls
from

1he orLuguese pennles or rels (pronounced rays) are prodlglous lL Lakes one Lhousand rels Lo
make a dollar and all flnanclal esLlmaLes are made ln rels We dld noL know Lhls unLll afLer we had
found lL ouL Lhrough 8lucher 8lucher sald he was so happy and so graLeful Lo be on solld land once
more LhaL he wanLed Lo glve a feasL sald he had heard lL was a cheap land and he was bound Lo
have a grand banqueL Pe lnvlLed nlne of us and we aLe an excellenL dlnner aL Lhe prlnclpal hoLel ln
Lhe mldsL of Lhe [olllLy produced by good clgars good wlne and passable anecdoLes Lhe landlord
presenLed hls blll 8lucher glanced aL lL and hls counLenance fell Pe Look anoLher look Lo assure
hlmself LhaL hls senses had noL decelved hlm and Lhen read Lhe lLems aloud ln a falLerlng volce
whlle Lhe roses ln hls cheeks Lurned Lo ashes

1en dlnners aL 600 rels 6000 rels! 8uln and desolaLlon!

1wenLyflve clgars aL 100 rels 2300 rels! Ch my salnLed moLher!

Lleven boLLles of wlne aL 1200 rels 13200 rels! 8e wlLh us all!

1C1AL 1WLn1?CnL 1PCuSAnu SLvLn Punu8Lu 8LlS! 1he sufferlng Moses! 1here alnL
money enough ln Lhe shlp Lo pay LhaL blll! Co leave me Lo my mlsery boys l am a rulned
communlLy

l Lhlnk lL was Lhe blankesLlooklng parLy l ever saw nobody could say a word lL was as lf every
soul had been


33


sLrlcken dumb Wlne glasses descended slowly Lo Lhe Lable Lhelr conLenLs unLasLed Clgars dropped
unnoLlced from nerveless flngers Lach man soughL hls nelghbors eye buL found ln lL no ray of hope
no encouragemenL AL lasL Lhe fearful sllence was broken 1he shadow of a desperaLe resolve seLLled
upon 8luchers counLenance llke a cloud and he rose up and sald


Landlord Lhls ls a low mean swlndle and lll never never sLand lL Peres a hundred and flfLy
dollars Slr and lLs all youll geL lll swlm ln blood before lll pay a cenL more

Cur splrlLs rose and Lhe landlords fell aL leasL we LhoughL so he was confused aL any raLe
noLwlLhsLandlng he had noL undersLood a word LhaL had been sald Pe glanced from Lhe


34


llLLle plle of gold pleces Lo 8lucher several Llmes and Lhen wenL ouL Pe musL have vlslLed an
Amerlcan for when he reLurned he broughL back hls blll LranslaLed lnLo a language LhaL a ChrlsLlan
could undersLand Lhus





10 dlnners 6000 rels or $600

23 clgars 2300 rels or 230

11 boLLles wlne 13200 rels or 1320

1oLal 21700 rels or $2170

Papplness relgned once more ln 8luchers dlnner parLy More refreshmenLs were ordered

ChapLer 6
CPA1L8 vl



33



l 1Plnk Lhe Azores musL be very llLLle known ln Amerlca CuL of our whole shlps company Lhere
was noL a sollLary lndlvldual who knew anyLhlng whaLever abouL Lhem Some of Lhe parLy well read
concernlng mosL oLher lands had no oLher lnformaLlon abouL Lhe Azores Lhan LhaL Lhey were a
group of nlne or Len small lslands far ouL ln Lhe ALlanLlc someLhlng more Lhan halfway beLween new
?ork and ClbralLar 1haL was all 1hese conslderaLlons move me Lo puL ln a paragraph of dry facLs
[usL here

1he communlLy ls emlnenLly orLuguese LhaL ls Lo say lL ls slow poor shlfLless sleepy and lazy
1here ls a clvll governor appolnLed by Lhe klng of orLugal and also a mlllLary governor who can
assume supreme conLrol and suspend Lhe clvll governmenL aL hls pleasure 1he lslands conLaln a
populaLlon of abouL 200000 almosL enLlrely orLuguese LveryLhlng ls sLald and seLLled for Lhe
counLry was one hundred years old when Columbus dlscovered Amerlca 1he prlnclpal crop ls corn
and Lhey ralse lL and grlnd lL [usL as Lhelr greaLgreaLgreaLgrandfaLhers dld 1hey plow wlLh a board
sllghLly shod wlLh lron Lhelr Lrlfllng llLLle harrows are drawn by men and women small wlndmllls
grlnd Lhe corn Len bushels a day and Lhere ls one asslsLanL superlnLendenL Lo feed Lhe mlll and a
general superlnLendenL Lo sLand by and keep hlm from golng Lo sleep When Lhe wlnd changes Lhey
hlLch on some donkeys and acLually Lurn Lhe whole upper half of Lhe mlll around unLll Lhe salls are ln
proper poslLlon lnsLead of flxlng Lhe concern so LhaL Lhe salls could be moved lnsLead of Lhe


36


mlll Cxen Lread Lhe wheaL from Lhe ear afLer Lhe fashlon prevalenL ln Lhe Llme of MeLhuselah
1here ls noL a wheelbarrow ln Lhe land Lhey carry everyLhlng on Lhelr heads or on donkeys or ln a
wlckerbodled carL whose wheels are solld blocks of wood and whose axles Lurn wlLh Lhe wheel
1here ls noL a modern plow ln Lhe lslands or a Lhreshlng machlne All aLLempLs Lo lnLroduce Lhem
have falled 1he good CaLhollc orLuguese crossed hlmself and prayed Cod Lo shleld hlm from all
blasphemous deslre Lo know more Lhan hls faLher dld before hlm 1he cllmaLe ls mlld Lhey never
have snow or lce and l saw no chlmneys ln Lhe Lown 1he donkeys and Lhe men women and
chlldren of a famlly all eaL and sleep ln Lhe same room and are unclean are ravaged by vermln and
are Lruly happy 1he people lle and cheaL Lhe sLranger and are desperaLely lgnoranL and have
hardly any reverence for Lhelr dead 1he laLLer LralL shows how llLLle beLLer Lhey are Lhan Lhe
donkeys Lhey eaL and sleep wlLh 1he only welldressed orLuguese ln Lhe camp are Lhe half a dozen
wellLodo famllles Lhe !esulL prlesLs and Lhe soldlers of Lhe llLLle garrlson 1he wages of a laborer
are LwenLy Lo LwenLyfour cenLs a day and Lhose of a good mechanlc abouL Lwlce as much 1hey
counL lL ln rels aL a Lhousand Lo Lhe dollar and Lhls makes Lhem rlch and conLenLed llne grapes used
Lo grow ln Lhe lslands and an excellenL wlne was made and exporLed 8uL a dlsease kllled all Lhe
vlnes flfLeen years ago and slnce LhaL Llme no wlne has been made 1he lslands belng wholly of
volcanlc orlgln Lhe soll ls necessarlly very rlch nearly every fooL of ground ls under culLlvaLlon and
Lwo or Lhree crops a year of each arLlcle are produced buL noLhlng ls exporLed save a few oranges
chlefly Lo Lngland nobody comes here and nobody goes away news ls a Lhlng unknown ln layal A
LhlrsL for lL ls a passlon equally unknown A orLuguese of average lnLelllgence lnqulred lf our clvll
war was over 8ecause he sald somebody had Lold hlm lL was or aL leasL lL ran ln hls mlnd LhaL
somebody had Lold hlm someLhlng llke LhaL! And when a passenger gave an offlcer of Lhe garrlson
coples of Lhe 1rlbune Lhe Perald and 1lmes he was


37


surprlsed Lo flnd laLer news ln Lhem from Llsbon Lhan he had [usL recelved by Lhe llLLle monLhly
sLeamer Pe was Lold LhaL lL came by cable Pe sald he knew Lhey had Lrled Lo lay a cable Len years
ago buL lL had been ln hls mlnd somehow LhaL Lhey hadnL succeeded!


lL ls ln communlLles llke Lhls LhaL !esulL humbuggery flourlshes We vlslLed a !esulL caLhedral nearly
Lwo hundred years old and found ln lL a plece of Lhe verlLable cross upon whlch our Savlour was
cruclfled lL was pollshed and hard and ln as excellenL a sLaLe of preservaLlon as lf Lhe dread Lragedy
on Calvary had occurred yesLerday lnsLead of elghLeen cenLurles ago 8uL Lhese confldlng people
belleve ln LhaL plece of wood unheslLaLlngly

ln a chapel of Lhe caLhedral ls an alLar wlLh faclngs of solld sllver aL leasL Lhey call lL so and l
Lhlnk myself lL would go a couple of hundred Lo Lhe Lon (Lo speak afLer Lhe fashlon of Lhe sllver
mlners) and before lL ls kepL forever burnlng a small lamp A devouL lady who dled lefL money and
conLracLed for unllmlLed masses for Lhe repose of her soul and also sLlpulaLed LhaL Lhls lamp should
be kepL llghLed always day and nlghL She dld all Lhls before she dled you undersLand lL ls a very
small lamp and a very dlm one and lL could noL work her much damage l Lhlnk lf lL wenL ouL
alLogeLher

1he greaL alLar of Lhe caLhedral and also Lhree or four mlnor ones are a perfecL mass of gllL
glmcracks and glngerbread And Lhey have a swarm of rusLy dusLy baLLered aposLles sLandlng
around Lhe fllagree work some on one leg and some wlLh one eye ouL buL a gamey look ln Lhe oLher
and some wlLh Lwo or Lhree flngers gone and some wlLh noL enough nose lefL Lo blow all of Lhem
crlppled and dlscouraged and flLLer sub[ecLs for Lhe hosplLal Lhan Lhe caLhedral

1he walls of Lhe chancel are of porcelaln all plcLured over wlLh flgures of almosL llfe slze very
eleganLly wroughL and dressed ln Lhe fanclful cosLumes of Lwo cenLurles ago 1he deslgn was a
hlsLory of someLhlng or somebody buL none of us were learned enough Lo read Lhe sLory 1he old
faLher


38


reposlng under a sLone close by daLed 1686 mlghL have Lold us lf he could have rlsen 8uL he dldnL


As we came down Lhrough Lhe Lown we encounLered a squad of llLLle donkeys ready saddled for
use 1he saddles were pecullar Lo say Lhe leasL 1hey conslsLed of a sorL of sawbuck wlLh a small
maLLress on lL and Lhls furnlLure covered abouL half Lhe donkey 1here were no sLlrrups buL really
such supporLs were noL needed Lo use such a saddle was Lhe nexL Lhlng Lo rldlng a dlnner Lable
Lhere was ample supporL clear ouL Lo ones knee [olnLs A pack of ragged orLuguese muleLeers
crowded around us offerlng Lhelr beasLs aL half a dollar an hour more rascallLy Lo Lhe sLranger for
Lhe markeL prlce ls slxLeen cenLs Palf a dozen of us mounLed Lhe ungalnly affalrs and submlLLed Lo
Lhe lndlgnlLy of maklng a rldlculous specLacle of ourselves Lhrough Lhe prlnclpal sLreeLs of a Lown of
10000 lnhablLanLs

We sLarLed lL was noL a LroL a gallop or a canLer buL a sLampede and made up of all posslble or
concelvable galLs no spurs were necessary 1here was a muleLeer Lo every donkey and a dozen
volunLeers beslde and Lhey banged Lhe donkeys wlLh Lhelr goad sLlcks and prlcked Lhem wlLh Lhelr
splkes and shouLed someLhlng LhaL sounded llke Sekklyah! and kepL up a dln and a rackeL LhaL
was worse Lhan 8edlam lLself 1hese rascals were all on fooL buL no maLLer Lhey were always up Lo
Llme Lhey can ouLrun and ouLlasL a donkey AlLogeLher ours was a llvely and a plcLuresque
processlon and drew crowded audlences Lo Lhe balconles wherever we wenL

8lucher could do noLhlng aL all wlLh hls donkey 1he beasL scampered zlgzag across Lhe road and
Lhe oLhers ran lnLo hlm he scraped 8lucher agalnsL carLs and Lhe corners of houses Lhe road was
fenced ln wlLh hlgh sLone walls and Lhe donkey gave hlm a pollshlng flrsL on one slde and Lhen on
Lhe oLher buL never once Look Lhe mlddle he flnally came Lo Lhe house he was born ln and darLed
lnLo Lhe parlor scraplng 8lucher off aL Lhe doorway AfLer remounLlng 8lucher sald Lo Lhe muleLeer
now LhaLs enough you know you go slow hereafLer


39


8uL Lhe fellow knew no Lngllsh and dld noL undersLand so he slmply sald Sekklyah! and Lhe
donkey was off agaln llke a shoL Pe Lurned a comer suddenly and 8lucher wenL over hls head And
Lo speak Lruly every mule sLumbled over Lhe Lwo and Lhe whole cavalcade was plled up ln a heap
no harm done A fall from one of Lhose donkeys ls of llLLle more consequence Lhan rolllng off a sofa
1he donkeys all sLood sLlll afLer Lhe caLasLrophe and walLed for Lhelr dlsmembered saddles Lo be
paLched up and puL on by Lhe nolsy muleLeers 8lucher was preLLy angry and wanLed Lo swear buL
every Llme he opened hls mouLh hls anlmal dld so


60


also and leL off a serles of brays LhaL drowned all oLher sounds


lL was fun scurrylng around Lhe breezy hllls and Lhrough Lhe beauLlful canyons 1here was LhaL
rare Lhlng novelLy abouL lL lL was a fresh new exhllaraLlng sensaLlon Lhls donkey rldlng and worLh
a hundred worn and Lhreadbare home pleasures

1he roads were a wonder and well Lhey mlghL be Pere was an lsland wlLh only a handful of
people ln lL 23000 and yeL such flne roads do noL exlsL ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes ouLslde of CenLral
ark Lverywhere you go ln any dlrecLlon you flnd elLher a hard smooLh level Lhoroughfare [usL
sprlnkled wlLh black lava sand and bordered wlLh llLLle guLLers neaLly paved wlLh small smooLh
pebbles or compacLly paved ones llke 8roadway 1hey Lalk much of Lhe 8uss pavemenL ln new ?ork
and call lL a new lnvenLlon yeL here Lhey have been uslng lL ln Lhls remoLe llLLle lsle of Lhe sea for
Lwo hundred years! Lvery sLreeL ln PorLa ls handsomely paved wlLh Lhe heavy 8uss blocks and Lhe
surface ls neaL and Lrue as a floor noL marred by holes llke 8roadway And every road ls fenced ln
by Lall solld lava walls whlch wlll lasL a Lhousand years ln Lhls land where frosL ls unknown 1hey are
very Lhlck and are ofLen plasLered and whlLewashed and capped wlLh pro[ecLlng slabs of cuL sLone
1rees from gardens above hang Lhelr swaylng Lendrlls down and conLrasL Lhelr brlghL green wlLh Lhe
whlLewash or Lhe black lava of Lhe walls and make Lhem beauLlful 1he Lrees and vlnes sLreLch across
Lhese narrow roadways someLlmes and so shuL ouL Lhe sun LhaL you seem Lo be rldlng Lhrough a
Lunnel 1he pavemenLs Lhe roads and Lhe brldges are all governmenL work

1he brldges are of a slngle span a slngle arch of cuL sLone wlLhouL a supporL and paved on
Lop wlLh flags of lava and ornamenLal pebblework Lverywhere are walls walls walls and all of Lhem
LasLeful and handsome and eLernally subsLanLlal and everywhere are Lhose marvelous pavemenLs
so neaL so smooLh and so lndesLrucLlble And lf ever roads and sLreeLs and Lhe ouLsldes of houses
were perfecLly


61


free from any slgn or semblance of dlrL or dusL or mud or uncleanllness of any klnd lL ls PorLa lL ls
layal 1he lower classes of Lhe people ln Lhelr persons and Lhelr domlclles are noL clean buL Lhere
lL sLops Lhe Lown and Lhe lsland are mlracles of cleanllness

We arrlved home agaln flnally afLer a Lenmlle excurslon and Lhe lrrepresslble muleLeers
scampered aL our heels Lhrough Lhe maln sLreeL goadlng Lhe donkeys shouLlng Lhe everlasLlng
Sekklyah and slnglng !ohn 8rowns 8ody ln rulnous Lngllsh

When we were dlsmounLed and lL came Lo seLLllng Lhe shouLlng and [awlng and swearlng and
quarrellng among Lhe muleLeers and wlLh us was nearly deafenlng Cne fellow would demand a
dollar an hour for Lhe use of hls donkey anoLher clalmed half a dollar for prlcklng hlm up anoLher a
quarLer for helplng ln LhaL servlce and abouL fourLeen guldes presenLed bllls for showlng us Lhe way
Lhrough Lhe Lown and lLs envlrons and every vagranL of Lhem was more voclferous and more
vehemenL and more franLlc ln gesLure Lhan hls nelghbor We pald one gulde and pald for one
muleLeer Lo each donkey

1he mounLalns on some of Lhe lslands are very hlgh We salled along Lhe shore of Lhe lsland of
lco under a sLaLely green pyramld LhaL rose up wlLh one unbroken sweep from our very feeL Lo an
alLlLude of 7613 feeL and LhrusL lLs summlL above Lhe whlLe clouds llke an lsland adrlfL ln a fog!

We goL plenLy of fresh oranges lemons flgs aprlcoLs eLc ln Lhese Azores of course 8uL l wlll
deslsL l am noL here Lo wrlLe aLenL Cfflce reporLs

We are on our way Lo ClbralLar and shall reach Lhere flve or slx days ouL from Lhe Azores
ChapLer 7
CPA1L8 vll



62



A WLLk of buffeLlng a LempesLuous and relenLless sea a week of seaslckness and deserLed cablns
of lonely quarLerdecks drenched wlLh spray spray so amblLlous LhaL lL even coaLed Lhe
smokesLacks Lhlck wlLh a whlLe crusL of salL Lo Lhelr very Lops a week of shlverlng ln Lhe shelLer of
Lhe llfeboaLs and deckhouses by day and blowlng suffocaLlng clouds and bolsLerously performlng
aL domlnoes ln Lhe smoklng room aL nlghL

And Lhe lasL nlghL of Lhe seven was Lhe sLormlesL of all 1here was no Lhunder no nolse buL Lhe
poundlng bows of Lhe shlp Lhe keen whlsLllng of Lhe gale Lhrough Lhe cordage and Lhe rush of Lhe
seeLhlng waLers 8uL Lhe vessel cllmbed alofL as lf she would cllmb Lo heaven Lhen paused an
lnsLanL LhaL seemed a cenLury and plunged headlong down agaln as from a preclplce 1he sheeLed
sprays drenched Lhe decks llke raln 1he blackness of darkness was everywhere AL long lnLervals a
flash of llghLnlng clove lL wlLh a qulverlng llne of flre LhaL revealed a heavlng world of waLer where
was noLhlng before klndled Lhe dusky cordage Lo gllLLerlng sllver and llL up Lhe faces of Lhe men
wlLh a ghasLly lusLer!

lear drove many on deck LhaL were used Lo avoldlng Lhe nlghL wlnds and Lhe spray Some LhoughL
Lhe vessel could noL llve Lhrough Lhe nlghL and lL seemed less dreadful Lo sLand ouL ln Lhe mldsL of
Lhe wlld LempesL and see Lhe perll LhaL LhreaLened Lhan Lo be shuL up ln Lhe sepulchral cablns under
Lhe dlm lamps and lmaglne Lhe horrors LhaL were abroad on Lhe ocean And once ouL once where
Lhey could see Lhe


63


shlp sLruggllng ln Lhe sLrong grasp of Lhe sLorm once where Lhey could hear Lhe shrlek of Lhe
wlnds and face Lhe drlvlng spray and look ouL upon Lhe ma[esLlc plcLure Lhe llghLnlngs dlsclosed
Lhey were prlsoners Lo a flerce fasclnaLlon Lhey could noL reslsL and so remalned lL was a wlld nlghL
and a very very long one


Lverybody was senL scamperlng Lo Lhe deck aL seven oclock Lhls lovely mornlng of Lhe LhlrLleLh of
!une wlLh Lhe glad news LhaL land was ln slghL! lL was a rare Lhlng and a [oyful Lo see all Lhe shlps
famlly abroad once more albelL Lhe happlness LhaL saL upon every counLenance could only parLly
conceal Lhe ravages whlch LhaL long slege of sLorms had wroughL Lhere 8uL dull eyes soon sparkled
wlLh pleasure pallld cheeks flushed agaln and frames weakened by slckness gaLhered new llfe from
Lhe qulckenlng lnfluences of Lhe brlghL fresh mornlng ?ea and from a sLlll more poLenL lnfluence
Lhe worn casLaways were Lo see Lhe blessed land agaln! and Lo see lL was Lo brlng back LhaL
moLherland LhaL was ln all Lhelr LhoughLs

WlLhln Lhe hour we were falrly wlLhln Lhe SLralLs of ClbralLar Lhe Lall yellowsploLched hllls of
Afrlca on our rlghL wlLh Lhelr bases velled ln a blue haze and Lhelr summlLs swaLhed ln clouds Lhe
same belng accordlng Lo ScrlpLure whlch says LhaL clouds and darkness are over Lhe land 1he
words were spoken of Lhls parLlcular porLlon of Afrlca l belleve Cn our lefL were Lhe granlLerlbbed
domes of old Spaln 1he sLralL ls only LhlrLeen mlles wlde ln lLs narrowesL parL

AL shorL lnLervals along Lhe Spanlsh shore were qualnLlooklng old sLone Lowers Moorlsh we
LhoughL buL learned beLLer afLerwards ln former Llmes Lhe Morocco rascals used Lo coasL along
Lhe Spanlsh Maln ln Lhelr boaLs Llll a safe opporLunlLy seemed Lo presenL lLself and Lhen darL ln and
capLure a Spanlsh vlllage and carry off all Lhe preLLy women Lhey could flnd lL was a pleasanL
buslness and was very popular 1he Spanlards bullL Lhese waLchLowers on Lhe hllls Lo enable Lhem
Lo keep a sharper lookouL on Lhe Moroccan speculaLors

1he plcLure on Lhe oLher hand was very beauLlful Lo eyes weary of Lhe changeless sea and by and
by Lhe shlps company



64



grew wonderfully cheerful 8uL whlle we sLood admlrlng Lhe cloudcapped peaks and Lhe lowlands
robed ln mlsLy gloom a flner plcLure bursL upon us and chalned every eye llke a magneL a sLaLely
shlp wlLh canvas plled on canvas Llll she was one Lowerlng mass of bellylng sall! She came speedlng
over Lhe sea llke a greaL blrd Afrlca and Spaln were forgoLLen All homage was for Lhe beauLlful
sLranger Whlle everybody gazed she swepL superbly by and flung Lhe SLars and SLrlpes Lo Lhe
breeze! Culcker Lhan LhoughL haLs and handkerchlefs flashed ln Lhe alr and a cheer wenL up! She
was beauLlful before she was radlanL now Many a one on our decks knew Lhen for Lhe flrsL Llme
how Lame a slghL hls counLrys flag ls aL home compared Lo whaL lL ls ln a forelgn land 1o see lL ls Lo
see a vlslon of home lLself and all lLs ldols and feel a Lhrlll LhaL would sLlr a very rlver of slugglsh
blood!

We were approachlng Lhe famed lllars of Percules and already Lhe Afrlcan one Apes Plll a
grand old mounLaln wlLh summlL sLreaked wlLh granlLe ledges was ln slghL 1he oLher Lhe greaL
8ock of ClbralLar was yeL Lo come 1he anclenLs consldered Lhe lllars of Percules Lhe head of
navlgaLlon and Lhe end of Lhe world 1he lnformaLlon Lhe anclenLs dldnL have was very volumlnous
Lven Lhe propheLs wroLe book afLer book and eplsLle afLer eplsLle yeL never once hlnLed aL Lhe
exlsLence of a greaL conLlnenL on our slde of Lhe waLer yeL Lhey musL have known lL was Lhere l
should Lhlnk

ln a few momenLs a lonely and enormous mass of rock


63


sLandlng seemlngly ln Lhe cenLer of Lhe wlde sLralL and apparenLly washed on all sldes by Lhe sea
swung magnlflcenLly lnLo vlew and we needed no Ledlous Lraveled parroL Lo Lell us lL was ClbralLar
1here could noL be Lwo rocks llke LhaL ln one klngdom



1he 8ock of ClbralLar ls abouL a mlle and a half long l should say by 1400 Lo 1300 feeL hlgh and
a quarLer of a mlle wlde aL lLs base Cne slde and one end of lL come abouL as sLralghL up ouL of Lhe
sea as Lhe slde of a house Lhe oLher end ls lrregular and Lhe oLher slde ls a sLeep slanL whlch an
army would flnd very dlfflculL Lo cllmb AL Lhe fooL of Lhls slanL ls Lhe walled Lown of ClbralLar or
raLher Lhe Lown occuples parL of Lhe slanL Lverywhere on hlllslde ln Lhe preclplce by Lhe sea on
Lhe helghLs everywhere you choose Lo look ClbralLar ls clad wlLh masonry and brlsLllng wlLh guns
lL makes a sLrlklng and llvely plcLure from whaLsoever polnL you conLemplaLe lL lL ls pushed ouL lnLo
Lhe sea on Lhe end of a flaL narrow sLrlp of land and ls suggesLlve of a gob of mud on Lhe end of a
shlngle A few hundred yards of Lhls flaL ground aL lLs base belongs Lo Lhe Lngllsh and Lhen
exLendlng across Lhe sLrlp from Lhe ALlanLlc Lo Lhe MedlLerranean a dlsLance of a quarLer of a mlle
comes Lhe neuLral Cround a space Lwo or Lhree hundred yards wlde whlch ls free Lo boLh parLles

Are you golng Lhrough Spaln Lo arls? 1haL quesLlon was bandled abouL Lhe shlp day and nlghL
from layal Lo ClbralLar and l LhoughL l never could geL so Llred of hearlng any one comblnaLlon of
words agaln or more Llred of answerlng l donL know AL Lhe lasL momenL slx or seven had
sufflclenL declslon of characLer Lo make up Lhelr mlnds Lo go and dld go and l felL a sense of rellef aL
once lL was forever Loo laLe now and l could make up my mlnd aL my lelsure noL Lo go l musL have
a prodlglous quanLlLy of mlnd lL Lakes me as much as a week someLlmes Lo make lL up

8uL behold how annoyances repeaL Lhemselves We had no sooner goLLen rld of Lhe Spaln dlsLress
Lhan Lhe ClbralLar guldes sLarLed anoLher a Llresome repeLlLlon of a legend LhaL


66


had noLhlng very asLonlshlng abouL lL even ln Lhe flrsL place 1haL hlgh hlll yonder ls called Lhe
Cueens Chalr lL ls because one of Lhe queens of Spaln placed her chalr Lhere when Lhe lrench and
Spanlsh Lroops were besleglng ClbralLar and sald she would never move from Lhe spoL Llll Lhe
Lngllsh flag was lowered from Lhe forLresses lf Lhe Lngllsh hadnL been gallanL enough Lo lower Lhe
flag for a few hours one day shed have had Lo break her oaLh or dle up Lhere


We rode on asses and mules up Lhe sLeep narrow sLreeLs and enLered Lhe subLerranean gallerles
Lhe Lngllsh have blasLed ouL ln Lhe rock 1hese gallerles are llke spaclous rallway Lunnels and aL
shorL lnLervals ln Lhem greaL guns frown ouL upon sea and Lown Lhrough porLholes flve or slx
hundred feeL above Lhe ocean 1here ls a mlle or so of Lhls subLerranean work and lL musL have cosL
a vasL deal of money and labor 1he gallery guns command Lhe penlnsula and Lhe harbors of boLh
oceans buL Lhey mlghL as well noL be Lhere l should Lhlnk for an army could hardly cllmb Lhe
perpendlcular wall of Lhe rock anyhow 1hose lofLy porLholes afford superb vlews of Lhe sea Lhough
AL one place where a [uLLlng crag was hollowed ouL lnLo a greaL chamber whose furnlLure was huge
cannon and whose wlndows were porLholes a gllmpse was caughL of a hlll noL far away and a
soldler sald

1haL hlgh hlll yonder ls called Lhe Cueens Chalr lL ls because a queen of Spaln placed her chalr
Lhere once when Lhe lrench and Spanlsh Lroops were besleglng ClbralLar and sald she would never
move from Lhe spoL Llll Lhe Lngllsh flag was lowered from Lhe forLresses lf Lhe Lngllsh hadnL been
gallanL enough Lo lower Lhe flag for a few hours one day shed have had Lo break her oaLh or dle up
Lhere

Cn Lhe LopmosL plnnacle of ClbralLar we halLed a good whlle and no doubL Lhe mules were Llred
1hey had a rlghL Lo be 1he mlllLary road was good buL raLher sLeep and Lhere was a good deal of lL
1he vlew from Lhe narrow ledge was magnlflcenL from lL vessels seemlng llke Lhe LlnlesL llLLle Loy
boaLs were Lurned lnLo noble shlps by Lhe Lelescopes and oLher vessels LhaL were flfLy mlles away
and even slxLy Lhey


67


sald and lnvlslble Lo Lhe naked eye could be clearly dlsLlngulshed Lhrough Lhose same Lelescopes
8elow on one slde we looked down upon an endless mass of baLLerles and on Lhe oLher sLralghL
down Lo Lhe sea


Whlle l was resLlng ever so comforLably on a ramparL and coollng my baklng head ln Lhe dellclous
breeze an offlclous gulde belonglng Lo anoLher parLy came up and sald

Senor LhaL hlgh hlll yonder ls called Lhe Cueens Chalr

Slr l am a helpless orphan ln a forelgn land Pave plLy on me uonL now donL lnfllcL LhaL mosL
lnlL8nAL old legend on me anymore Loday!

1here l had used sLrong language afLer promlslng l would never do so agaln buL Lhe provocaLlon
was more Lhan human naLure could bear lf you had been bored so when you had Lhe noble
panorama of Spaln and Afrlca and Lhe blue MedlLerranean


68


spread abroad aL your feeL and wanLed Lo gaze and en[oy and surfelL yourself ln lLs beauLy ln
sllence you mlghL have even bursL lnLo sLronger language Lhan l dld

ClbralLar has sLood several proLracLed sleges one of Lhem of nearly four years duraLlon (lL falled)
and Lhe Lngllsh only capLured lL by sLraLagem 1he wonder ls LhaL anybody should ever dream of
Lrylng so lmposslble a pro[ecL as Lhe Laklng lL by assaulL and yeL lL has been Lrled more Lhan once

1he Moors held Lhe place Lwelve hundred years ago and a sLaunch old casLle of Lhelrs of LhaL daLe
sLlll frowns from Lhe mlddle of Lhe Lown wlLh mossgrown baLLlemenLs and sldes well scarred by
shoLs flred ln baLLles and sleges LhaL are forgoLLen now A secreL chamber ln Lhe rock behlnd lL was
dlscovered some Llme ago whlch conLalned a sword of exqulslLe workmanshlp and some qualnL old
armor of a fashlon LhaL anLlquarles are noL acqualnLed wlLh Lhough lL ls supposed Lo be 8oman
8oman armor and 8oman rellcs of varlous klnds have been found ln a cave ln Lhe sea exLremlLy of
ClbralLar hlsLory says 8ome held Lhls parL of Lhe counLry abouL Lhe ChrlsLlan era and Lhese Lhlngs
seem Lo conflrm Lhe sLaLemenL

ln LhaL cave also are found human bones crusLed wlLh a very Lhlck sLony coaLlng and wlse men
have venLured Lo say LhaL Lhose men noL only llved before Lhe flood buL as much as Len Lhousand
years before lL lL may be Lrue lL looks reasonable enough buL as long as Lhose parLles canL voLe
anymore Lhe maLLer can be of no greaL publlc lnLeresL ln Lhls cave llkewlse are found skeleLons and
fosslls of anlmals LhaL exlsL ln every parL of Afrlca yeL wlLhln memory and LradlLlon have never
exlsLed ln any porLlon of Spaln save Lhls lone peak of ClbralLar! So Lhe Lheory ls LhaL Lhe channel
beLween ClbralLar and Afrlca was once dry land and LhaL Lhe low neuLral neck beLween ClbralLar
and Lhe Spanlsh hllls behlnd lL was once ocean and of course LhaL Lhese Afrlcan anlmals belng over
aL ClbralLar (afLer rock perhaps Lhere ls plenLy Lhere) goL closed ouL when Lhe greaL change
occurred 1he hllls ln


69


Afrlca across Lhe channel are full of apes and Lhere are now and always have been apes on Lhe
rock of ClbralLar buL noL elsewhere ln Spaln! 1he sub[ecL ls an lnLeresLlng one


1here ls an Lngllsh garrlson aL ClbralLar of 6000 or 7000 men and so unlforms of flamlng red are
plenLy and red and blue and undress cosLumes of snowy whlLe and also Lhe queer unlform of Lhe
barekneed Plghlander and one sees sofLeyed Spanlsh glrls from San 8oque and velled Moorlsh
beauLles (l suppose Lhey are beauLles) from 1arlfa and Lurbaned sashed and Lrousered Moorlsh
merchanLs from lez and longrobed barelegged ragged Muhammadan vagabonds from 1eLun
and 1angler some brown some yellow and some as black as vlrgln lnk and !ews from all around
ln gabardlne skullcap and sllppers [usL as Lhey are ln plcLures and LheaLers and [usL as Lhey were
Lhree Lhousand years ago no doubL ?ou can easlly undersLand LhaL a Lrlbe (somehow our pllgrlms
suggesL LhaL expresslon because Lhey march ln a sLraggllng processlon Lhrough Lhese forelgn places
wlLh such an lndlanllke alr of complacency and lndependence abouL Lhem) llke ours made up from
flfLeen or slxLeen sLaLes of Lhe unlon found enough Lo sLare aL ln Lhls shlfLlng panorama of fashlon
Loday

Speaklng of our pllgrlms remlnds me LhaL we have one or Lwo people among us who are
someLlmes an annoyance Powever l do noL counL Lhe Cracle ln LhaL llsL l wlll explaln LhaL Lhe
Cracle ls an lnnocenL old ass who eaLs for four and looks wlser Lhan Lhe whole Academy of lrance
would have any rlghL Lo look and never uses a onesyllable word when he can Lhlnk of a longer one
and never by any posslble chance knows Lhe meanlng of any long word he uses or ever geLs lL ln Lhe
rlghL place yeL he wlll serenely venLure an oplnlon on Lhe mosL absLruse sub[ecL and back lL up
complacenLly wlLh quoLaLlons from auLhors who never exlsLed and flnally when cornered wlll sllde
Lo Lhe oLher slde of Lhe quesLlon say he has been Lhere all Lhe Llme and come back aL you wlLh your
own spoken argumenLs only wlLh Lhe blg words all Langled and play Lhem ln your very LeeLh as
orlglnal wlLh hlmself Pe


70


reads a chapLer ln Lhe guldebooks mlxes Lhe facLs all up wlLh hls bad memory and Lhen goes off Lo
lnfllcL Lhe whole mess on somebody as wlsdom whlch has been fesLerlng ln hls braln for years and
whlch he gaLhered ln college from erudlLe auLhors who are dead now and ouL of prlnL 1hls mornlng
aL breakfasL he polnLed ouL of Lhe wlndow and sald


uo you see LhaL Lhere hlll ouL Lhere on LhaL Afrlcan coasL? lLs one of Lhem lllows of Perkewls l
should say and Lheres Lhe ulLlmaLe one alongslde of lL

1he ulLlmaLe one LhaL ls a good word buL Lhe plllars are noL boLh on Lhe same slde of Lhe
sLralL (l saw he had been decelved by a carelessly wrlLLen senLence ln Lhe guldebook)

Well lL alnL for you Lo say nor for me Some auLhors sLaLes lL LhaL way and some sLaLes lL
dlfferenL Cld Clbbons donL say noLhlng abouL lL [usL shlrks lL compleLe Clbbons always done
LhaL when he goL sLuck buL Lhere ls 8olampLon whaL does he say? Why be says LhaL Lhey was
boLh on Lhe same slde and 1rlncullan and SobasLer and Syraccus and Langomarganbl

Ch LhaL wlll do LhaLs enough lf you have goL your hand ln for lnvenLlng auLhors and
LesLlmony l have noLhlng more Lo say leL Lhem be on Lhe same slde

We donL mlnd Lhe Cracle We raLher llke hlm We can LoleraLe Lhe Cracle very easlly buL we have
a poeL and a goodnaLured enLerprlslng ldloL on board and Lhey do dlsLress


71


Lhe company 1he one glves coples of hls verses Lo consuls commanders hoLel keepers Arabs
uuLch Lo anybody ln facL who wlll submlL Lo a grlevous lnfllcLlon mosL klndly meanL Pls poeLry ls
all very well on shlpboard noLwlLhsLandlng when he wroLe an Cde Lo Lhe Ccean ln a SLorm ln one
half hour and an AposLrophe Lo Lhe 8oosLer ln Lhe WalsL of Lhe Shlp ln Lhe nexL Lhe LranslLlon was
consldered Lo be raLher abrupL buL when he sends an lnvolce of rhymes Lo Lhe Covernor of layal
and anoLher Lo Lhe commander ln chlef and oLher dlgnlLarles ln ClbralLar wlLh Lhe compllmenLs of
Lhe LaureaLe of Lhe Shlp lL ls noL popular wlLh Lhe passengers


1he oLher personage l have menLloned ls young and green and noL brlghL noL learned and noL
wlse Pe wlll be Lhough someday lf he recollecLs Lhe answers Lo all hls quesLlons Pe ls known abouL
Lhe shlp as Lhe lnLerrogaLlon olnL and Lhls by consLanL use has become shorLened Lo
lnLerrogaLlon Pe has dlsLlngulshed hlmself Lwlce already ln layal Lhey polnLed ouL a hlll and Lold
hlm lL was 800 feeL hlgh and 1100 feeL long And Lhey Lold hlm Lhere was a Lunnel 2000 feeL long
and 1000 feeL hlgh runnlng Lhrough Lhe hlll from end Lo end Pe belleved lL Pe repeaLed lL Lo
everybody dlscussed lL and read lL from hls noLes llnally he Look a useful hlnL from Lhls remark
whlch a LhoughLful old pllgrlm made

Well yes lL ls a llLLle remarkable slngular Lunnel alLogeLher sLands up ouL of Lhe Lop of Lhe
hlll abouL Lwo hundred feeL and one end of lL sLlcks ouL of Lhe hlll abouL nlne hundred!

Pere ln ClbralLar he comers Lhese educaLed 8rlLlsh offlcers and badgers Lhem wlLh braggadoclo
abouL Amerlca and Lhe wonders she can perform! Pe Lold one of Lhem a couple of our gunboaLs
could come here and knock ClbralLar lnLo Lhe MedlLerranean Sea!




72


AL Lhls presenL momenL half a dozen of us are Laklng a prlvaLe pleasure excurslon of our own
devlslng We form raLher more Lhan half Lhe llsL of whlLe passengers on board a small sLeamer
bound for Lhe venerable Moorlsh Lown of 1angler Afrlca noLhlng could be more absoluLely cerLaln
Lhan LhaL we are en[oylng ourselves Cne can noL do oLherwlse who speeds over Lhese sparkllng
waLers and breaLhes Lhe sofL aLmosphere of Lhls sunny land Care cannoL assall us here We are ouL
of lLs [urlsdlcLlon

We even sLeamed recklessly by Lhe frownlng forLress of MalabaL (a sLronghold of Lhe Lmperor of
Morocco) wlLhouL a Lwlnge of fear 1he whole garrlson Lurned ouL under arms and assumed a
LhreaLenlng aLLlLude yeL sLlll we dld noL fear 1he enLlre garrlson marched and counLermarched
wlLhln Lhe ramparL ln full vlew yeL noLwlLhsLandlng even Lhls we never fllnched




73


l suppose we really do noL know whaL fear ls l lnqulred Lhe name of Lhe garrlson of Lhe forLress of
MalabaL and Lhey sald lL was MehemeL All 8en Sancom l sald lL would be a good ldea Lo geL some
more garrlsons Lo help hlm buL Lhey sald no he had noLhlng Lo do buL hold Lhe place and he was
compeLenL Lo do LhaL had done lL Lwo years already 1haL was evldence whlch one could noL well
refuLe 1here ls noLhlng llke repuLaLlon


Lvery now and Lhen my glove purchase ln ClbralLar lasL nlghL lnLrudes lLself upon me uan and Lhe
shlps surgeon and l had been up Lo Lhe greaL square llsLenlng Lo Lhe muslc of Lhe flne mlllLary bands
and conLemplaLlng Lngllsh and Spanlsh female lovellness and fashlon and aL nlne oclock were on
our way Lo Lhe LheaLer when we meL Lhe Ceneral Lhe !udge Lhe Commodore Lhe Colonel and Lhe
Commlssloner of Lhe unlLed SLaLes of Amerlca Lo Lurope Asla and Afrlca who had been Lo Lhe Club
Pouse Lo reglsLer Lhelr several LlLles and lmpoverlsh Lhe blll of fare and Lhey Lold us Lo go over Lo
Lhe llLLle varleLy sLore near Lhe Pall of !usLlce and buy some kld gloves 1hey sald Lhey were eleganL
and very moderaLe ln prlce lL seemed a sLyllsh Lhlng Lo go Lo Lhe LheaLer ln kld gloves and we acLed
upon Lhe hlnL A very handsome young lady ln Lhe sLore offered me a palr of blue gloves l dld noL
wanL blue buL she sald Lhey would look very preLLy on a hand llke mlne 1he remark Louched me
Lenderly l glanced furLlvely aL my hand and somehow lL dld seem raLher a comely member l Lrled a
glove on my lefL and blushed a llLLle ManlfesLly Lhe slze was Loo small for me 8uL l felL graLlfled
when she sald

Ch lL ls [usL rlghL! ?eL l knew lL was no such Lhlng

l Lugged aL lL dlllgenLly buL lL was dlscouraglng work She sald

Ah! l see you are accusLomed Lo wearlng kld gloves buL some genLlemen are so awkward abouL
puLLlng Lhem on

lL was Lhe lasL compllmenL l had expecLed l only undersLand puLLlng on Lhe buckskln arLlcle
perfecLly l made anoLher efforL and Lore Lhe glove from Lhe base of Lhe Lhumb


74


lnLo Lhe palm of Lhe hand and Lrled Lo hlde Lhe renL She kepL up her compllmenLs and l kepL up
my deLermlnaLlon Lo deserve Lhem or dle


Ah you have had experlence! A rlp down Lhe back of Lhe hand 1hey are [usL rlghL for you
your hand ls very small lf Lhey Lear you need noL pay for Lhem A renL across Lhe mlddle l can
always Lell when a genLleman undersLands puLLlng on kld gloves 1here ls a grace abouL lL LhaL only
comes wlLh long pracLlce 1he whole afLerguard of Lhe glove feLched away as Lhe sallors say Lhe
fabrlc parLed across Lhe knuckles and noLhlng was lefL buL a melancholy ruln

l was Loo much flaLLered Lo make an exposure and Lhrow Lhe merchandlse on Lhe angels hands l
was hoL vexed confused buL sLlll happy buL l haLed Lhe oLher boys for Laklng such an absorblng
lnLeresL ln Lhe proceedlngs l wlshed Lhey were ln !erlcho l felL exqulslLely mean when l sald
cheerfully

1hls one does very well lL flLs eleganLly l llke a glove LhaL flLs no never mlnd maam never
mlnd lll puL Lhe oLher on ln Lhe sLreeL lL ls warm here

lL was warm lL was Lhe warmesL place l ever was ln l pald Lhe blll and as l passed ouL wlLh a
fasclnaLlng bow l LhoughL l deLecLed a llghL ln Lhe womans eye LhaL was genLly lronlcal and when l
looked back from Lhe sLreeL and she was laughlng all Lo herself abouL someLhlng or oLher l sald Lo
myself


73


wlLh wlLherlng sarcasm Ch cerLalnly you know how Lo puL on kld gloves donL you? A self
complacenL ass ready Lo be flaLLered ouL of your senses by every peLLlcoaL LhaL chooses Lo Lake Lhe
Lrouble Lo do lL!


1he sllence of Lhe boys annoyed me llnally uan sald muslngly

Some genLlemen donL know how Lo puL on kld gloves aL all buL some do

And Lhe docLor sald (Lo Lhe moon l LhoughL)

8uL lL ls always easy Lo Lell when a genLleman ls used Lo puLLlng on kld gloves

uan sollloqulzed afLer a pause

Ah yes Lhere ls a grace abouL lL LhaL only comes wlLh long very long pracLlce

?es lndeed lve noLlced LhaL when a man hauls on a kld glove llke he was dragglng a caL ouL of an
ash hole by Lhe Lall he undersLands puLLlng on kld gloves hes had ex

8oys enough of a Lhlngs enough! ?ou Lhlnk you are very smarL l suppose buL l donL And lf you
go and Lell any of Lhose old gosslps ln Lhe shlp abouL Lhls Lhlng lll never forglve you for lL LhaLs all

1hey leL me alone Lhen for Lhe Llme belng We always leL each oLher alone ln Llme Lo prevenL lll
feellng from spolllng a [oke 8uL Lhey had boughL gloves Loo as l dld We Lhrew all Lhe purchases
away LogeLher Lhls mornlng 1hey were coarse unsubsLanLlal freckled all over wlLh broad yellow
sploLches and could nelLher sLand wear nor publlc exhlblLlon We had enLerLalned an angel
unawares buL we dld noL Lake her ln She dld LhaL for us

1angler! A Lrlbe of sLalwarL Moors are wadlng lnLo Lhe sea Lo carry us ashore on Lhelr backs from
Lhe small boaLs
ChapLer 8
CPA1L8 vlll



76



1PlS ls royal! LeL Lhose who wenL up Lhrough Spaln make Lhe besL of lL Lhese domlnlons of Lhe
Lmperor of Morocco sulL our llLLle parLy well enough We have had enough of Spaln aL ClbralLar for
Lhe presenL 1angler ls Lhe spoL we have been longlng for all Lhe Llme Llsewhere we have found
forelgnlooklng Lhlngs and forelgnlooklng people buL always wlLh Lhlngs and people lnLermlxed LhaL
we were famlllar wlLh before and so Lhe novelLy of Lhe slLuaLlon losL a deal of lLs force We wanLed
someLhlng Lhoroughly and uncompromlslngly forelgn forelgn from Lop Lo boLLom forelgn from
cenLer Lo clrcumference forelgn lnslde and ouLslde and all around noLhlng anywhere abouL lL Lo
dlluLe lLs forelgnness noLhlng Lo remlnd us of any oLher people or any oLher land under Lhe sun
And lo! ln 1angler we have found lL Pere ls noL Lhe sllghLesL Lhlng LhaL ever we have seen save ln
plcLures and we always mlsLrusLed Lhe plcLures before We cannoL anymore 1he plcLures used Lo
seem exaggeraLlons Lhey seemed Loo welrd and fanclful for reallLy 8uL behold Lhey were noL wlld
enough Lhey were noL fanclful enough Lhey have noL Lold half Lhe sLory 1angler ls a forelgn land
lf ever Lhere was one and Lhe Lrue splrlL of lL can never be found ln any book save 1he Arablan
nlghLs Pere are no whlLe men vlslble yeL swarms of humanlLy are all abouL us Pere ls a packed and
[ammed clLy enclosed ln a masslve sLone wall whlch ls more Lhan a Lhousand years old All Lhe
houses nearly are oneand LwosLory made of Lhlck walls of sLone plasLered ouLslde square as a
drygoods box flaL as a floor on


77


Lop no cornlces whlLewashed all over a crowded clLy of snowy Lombs! And Lhe doors are arched
wlLh Lhe pecullar arch we see ln Moorlsh plcLures Lhe floors are lald ln varlcolored dlamond flags ln
LesselaLed manycolored porcelaln squares wroughL ln Lhe furnaces of lez ln red Llles and broad
brlcks LhaL Llme cannoL wear Lhere ls no furnlLure ln Lhe rooms (of !ewlsh dwelllngs) save dlvans
whaL Lhere ls ln Moorlsh ones no man may know wlLhln Lhelr sacred walls no ChrlsLlan dog can
enLer And Lhe sLreeLs are orlenLal some of Lhem Lhree feeL wlde some slx buL only Lwo LhaL are
over a dozen a man can blockade Lhe mosL of Lhem by exLendlng hls body across Lhem lsnL lL an
orlenLal plcLure?


1here are sLalwarL 8edoulns of Lhe deserL here and sLaLely Moors proud of a hlsLory LhaL goes
back Lo Lhe nlghL of Llme and !ews whose faLhers fled hlLher cenLurles upon cenLurles ago and
swarLhy 8lfflans from Lhe mounLalns born cuL


78


LhroaLs and orlglnal genulne negroes as black as Moses and howllng dervlshes and a hundred
breeds of Arabs all sorLs and descrlpLlons of people LhaL are forelgn and curlous Lo look upon

And Lhelr dresses are sLrange beyond all descrlpLlon Pere ls a bronzed Moor ln a prodlglous whlLe
Lurban curlously embroldered [ackeL gold and crlmson sash of many folds wrapped round and
round hls walsL Lrousers LhaL only come a llLLle below hls knee and yeL have LwenLy yards of sLuff ln
Lhem ornamenLed sclmlLar bare shlns sLocklngless feeL yellow sllppers and gun of preposLerous
lengLh a mere soldler! l LhoughL he was Lhe Lmperor aL leasL And here are aged Moors wlLh
flowlng whlLe beards and long whlLe robes wlLh vasL cowls and 8edoulns wlLh long cowled sLrlped
cloaks and negroes and 8lfflans wlLh heads cleanshaven excepL a klnky scalp lock back of Lhe ear
or raLher upon Lhe afLer corner of Lhe skull and all sorLs of barbarlans ln all sorLs of welrd
cosLumes and all more or less ragged And here are Moorlsh women who are enveloped from head
Lo fooL ln coarse whlLe robes and whose sex can only be deLermlned by Lhe facL LhaL Lhey only leave
one eye vlslble and never look aL men of Lhelr own race or are looked aL by Lhem ln publlc Pere are
flve Lhousand !ews ln blue gabardlnes sashes abouL Lhelr walsLs sllppers upon Lhelr feeL llLLle
skullcaps upon Lhe backs of Lhelr heads halr combed down on Lhe forehead and cuL sLralghL across
Lhe mlddle of lL from slde Lo slde Lhe selfsame fashlon Lhelr 1angler ancesLors have worn for l
donL know how many bewllderlng cenLurles 1helr feeL and ankles are bare 1helr noses are all
hooked and hooked allke 1hey all resemble each oLher so much LhaL one could almosL belleve Lhey
were of one famlly 1helr women are plump and preLLy and do smlle upon a ChrlsLlan ln a way
whlch ls ln Lhe lasL degree comforLlng

WhaL a funny old Lown lL ls! lL seems llke profanaLlon Lo laugh and [esL and bandy Lhe frlvolous
chaL of our day amld lLs hoary rellcs Cnly Lhe sLaLely phraseology and Lhe measured speech of Lhe
sons of Lhe ropheL are sulLed Lo a venerable


79


anLlqulLy llke Lhls Pere ls a crumbllng wall LhaL was old when Columbus dlscovered Amerlca was
old when eLer Lhe PermlL roused Lhe knlghLly men of Lhe Mlddle Ages Lo arm for Lhe flrsL Crusade
was old when Charlemagne and hls paladlns beleaguered enchanLed casLles and baLLled wlLh glanLs
and genll ln Lhe fabled days of Lhe olden Llme was old when ChrlsL and hls dlsclples walked Lhe
earLh sLood where lL sLands Loday when Lhe llps of Memnon were vocal and men boughL and sold ln
Lhe sLreeLs of anclenL 1hebes!


1he hoenlclans Lhe CarLhagenlans Lhe Lngllsh Moors 8omans all have baLLled for 1angler all
have won lL and losL lL Pere ls a ragged orlenLallooklng negro from some deserL place ln lnLerlor
Afrlca fllllng hls goaLskln wlLh waLer from a sLalned and baLLered founLaln bullL by Lhe 8omans
Lwelve hundred years ago ?onder ls a rulned arch of a brldge bullL by !ullus Caesar nlneLeen
hundred years ago Men who had seen Lhe lnfanL Savlour ln Lhe vlrglns arms have sLood upon lL
maybe

near lL are Lhe rulns of a dockyard where Caesar repalred hls shlps and loaded Lhem wlLh graln
when he lnvaded 8rlLaln flfLy years before Lhe ChrlsLlan era

Pere under Lhe quleL sLars Lhese old sLreeLs seem Lhronged wlLh Lhe phanLoms of forgoLLen ages
My eyes are resLlng upon a spoL where sLood a monumenL whlch was seen and descrlbed by 8oman
hlsLorlans less Lhan Lwo Lhousand years ago whereon was lnscrlbed


WL A8L 1PL CAnAAnl1LS WL A8L 1PL? 1PA1 PAvL 8LLn u8lvLn Cu1 Cl 1PL LAnu Cl CAnAAn
8? 1PL !LWlSP 8C88L8 !CSPuA
!oshua drove Lhem ouL and Lhey came here noL many leagues from here ls a Lrlbe of !ews whose
ancesLors fled LhlLher afLer an unsuccessful revolL agalnsL klng uavld and Lhese Lhelr descendanLs
are sLlll under a ban and keep Lo Lhemselves


1angler has been menLloned ln hlsLory for Lhree Lhousand years And lL was a Lown Lhough a
queer one when Percules


80


clad ln hls llon skln landed here four Lhousand years ago ln Lhese sLreeLs he meL AnlLus Lhe klng of
Lhe counLry and bralned hlm wlLh hls club whlch was Lhe fashlon among genLlemen ln Lhose days
1he people of 1angler (called 1lngls Lhen) llved ln Lhe rudesL posslble huLs and dressed ln sklns and
carrled clubs and were as savage as Lhe wlld beasLs Lhey were consLanLly obllged Lo war wlLh 8uL
Lhey were a genLlemanly race and dld no work 1hey llved on Lhe naLural producLs of Lhe land 1helr
klngs counLry resldence was aL Lhe famous Carden of Pesperldes sevenLy mlles down Lhe coasL
from here 1he garden wlLh lLs golden apples (oranges) ls gone now no vesLlge of lL remalns
AnLlquarlans concede LhaL such a personage as Percules dld exlsL ln anclenL Llmes and agree LhaL he
was an enLerprlslng and energeLlc man buL decllne Lo belleve hlm a good bonaflde god because
LhaL would be unconsLlLuLlonal

uown here aL Cape SparLel ls Lhe celebraLed cave of Percules where LhaL hero Look refuge when
he was vanqulshed and drlven ouL of Lhe 1angler counLry lL ls full of lnscrlpLlons ln Lhe dead
languages whlch facL makes me Lhlnk Percules could noL have Lraveled much else he would noL
have kepL a [ournal

llve days [ourney from here say Lwo hundred mlles are Lhe rulns of an anclenL clLy of whose
hlsLory Lhere ls nelLher record nor LradlLlon And yeL lLs arches lLs columns and lLs sLaLues proclalm
lL Lo have been bullL by an enllghLened race

1he general slze of a sLore ln 1angler ls abouL LhaL of an ordlnary shower baLh ln a clvlllzed land
1he Muhammadan merchanL Llnman shoemaker or vendor of Lrlfles slLs crosslegged on Lhe floor
and reaches afLer any arLlcle you may wanL Lo buy ?ou can renL a whole block of Lhese plgeonholes
for flfLy dollars a monLh 1he markeL people crowd Lhe markeLplace wlLh Lhelr baskeLs of flgs daLes
melons aprlcoLs eLc and among Lhem flle Lralns of laden asses noL much larger lf any Lhan a
newfoundland dog 1he scene ls llvely ls plcLuresque and smells llke a pollce courL 1he !ewlsh
moneychangers


81


have Lhelr dens close aL hand and all day long are counLlng bronze colns and Lransferrlng Lhem
from one bushel baskeL Lo anoLher 1hey donL coln much money nowadays l Lhlnk l saw none buL
whaL was daLed four or flve hundred years back and was badly worn and baLLered 1hese colns are
noL very valuable !ack wenL ouL Lo geL a napoleon changed so as Lo have money sulLed Lo Lhe
general cheapness of Lhlngs and came back and sald he bad swamped Lhe bank had boughL eleven
quarLs of coln and Lhe head of Lhe flrm had gone on Lhe sLreeL Lo negoLlaLe for Lhe balance of Lhe
change l boughL nearly half a plnL of Lhelr money for a shllllng myself l am noL proud on accounL of
havlng so much money Lhough l care noLhlng for wealLh


1he Moors have some small sllver colns and also some sllver slugs worLh a dollar each 1he laLLer
are exceedlngly scarce so much so LhaL when poor ragged Arabs see one Lhey beg Lo be allowed Lo
klss lL

1hey have also a small gold coln worLh Lwo dollars And LhaL remlnds me of someLhlng When
Morocco ls ln a sLaLe of war Arab courlers carry leLLers Lhrough Lhe counLry and charge a llberal
posLage Lvery now and Lhen Lhey fall lnLo Lhe hands of maraudlng bands and geL robbed 1herefore
warned by experlence as soon as Lhey have collecLed Lwo dollars worLh of money Lhey exchange lL
for one of Lhose llLLle gold pleces and when robbers come upon Lhem swallow lL 1he sLraLagem
was good whlle lL was unsuspecLed buL afLer LhaL Lhe marauders slmply gave Lhe sagaclous unlLed
SLaLes mall an emeLlc and saL down Lo walL




82


1he Lmperor of Morocco ls a soulless despoL and Lhe greaL offlcers under hlm are despoLs on a
smaller scale 1here ls no regular sysLem of LaxaLlon buL when Lhe Lmperor or Lhe 8ashaw wanL
money Lhey levy on some rlch man and he has Lo furnlsh Lhe cash or go Lo prlson 1herefore few
men ln Morocco dare Lo be rlch lL ls Loo dangerous a luxury vanlLy occaslonally leads a man Lo
dlsplay wealLh buL sooner or laLer Lhe Lmperor Lrumps up a charge agalnsL hlm any sorL of one
wlll do and conflscaLes hls properLy Cf course Lhere are many rlch men ln Lhe emplre buL Lhelr
money ls burled and Lhey dress ln rags and counLerfelL poverLy Lvery now and Lhen Lhe Lmperor
lmprlsons a man who ls suspecLed of Lhe crlme of belng rlch and makes Lhlngs so uncomforLable for
hlm LhaL he ls forced Lo dlscover where he has hldden hls money


Moors and !ews someLlmes place Lhemselves under Lhe proLecLlon of Lhe forelgn consuls and
Lhen Lhey can flouL Lhelr rlches ln Lhe Lmperors face wlLh lmpunlLy
ChapLer 9
CPA1L8 lx



83



A8Cu1 Lhe flrsL advenLure we had yesLerday afLernoon afLer landlng here came near flnlshlng
LhaL heedless 8lucher We had [usL mounLed some mules and asses and sLarLed ouL under Lhe
guardlanshlp of Lhe sLaLely Lhe prlncely Lhe magnlflcenL Pad[l Muhammad LamarLy (may hls Lrlbe
lncrease!) when we came upon a flne Moorlsh mosque wlLh Lall Lower rlch wlLh checkerwork of
manycolored porcelaln and every parL and porLlon of Lhe edlflce adorned wlLh Lhe qualnL
archlLecLure of Lhe Alhambra and 8lucher sLarLed Lo rlde lnLo Lhe open doorway A sLarLllng Plhl!
from our camp followers and a loud PalL! from an Lngllsh genLleman ln Lhe parLy checked Lhe
advenLurer and Lhen we were lnformed LhaL so dlre a profanaLlon ls lL for a ChrlsLlan dog Lo seL fooL
upon Lhe sacred Lhreshold of a Moorlsh mosque LhaL no amounL of purlflcaLlon can ever make lL flL
for Lhe falLhful Lo pray ln agaln Pad 8lucher succeeded ln enLerlng Lhe place he would no doubL
have been chased Lhrough Lhe Lown and sLoned and Lhe Llme has been and noL many years ago
elLher when a ChrlsLlan would have been mosL ruLhlessly slaughLered lf capLured ln a mosque We
caughL a gllmpse of Lhe handsome LessellaLed pavemenLs wlLhln and of Lhe devoLees performlng
Lhelr abluLlons aL Lhe founLalns buL even LhaL we Look LhaL gllmpse was a Lhlng noL rellshed by Lhe
Moorlsh bysLanders

Some years ago Lhe clock ln Lhe Lower of Lhe mosque goL ouL of order 1he Moors of 1angler have
so degeneraLed LhaL lL has been long slnce Lhere was an arLlflcer among Lhem


84


capable of curlng so dellcaLe a paLlenL as a deblllLaLed clock 1he greaL men of Lhe clLy meL ln
solemn conclave Lo conslder how Lhe dlfflculLy was Lo be meL 1hey dlscussed Lhe maLLer Lhoroughly
buL arrlved aL no soluLlon llnally a paLrlarch arose and sald

Ch chlldren of Lhe ropheL lL ls known unLo you LhaL a orLuguee dog of a ChrlsLlan clock
mender polluLes Lhe clLy of 1angler wlLh hls presence ?e know also LhaL when mosques are
bullded asses bear Lhe sLones and Lhe cemenL and cross Lhe sacred Lhreshold now Lherefore send
Lhe ChrlsLlan dog on all fours and barefooL lnLo Lhe holy place Lo mend Lhe clock and leL hlm go as
an ass!

And ln LhaL way lL was done 1herefore lf 8lucher ever sees Lhe lnslde of a mosque he wlll have Lo
casL aslde hls humanlLy and go ln hls naLural characLer We vlslLed Lhe [all and found Moorlsh
prlsoners maklng maLs and baskeLs (1hls Lhlng of uLlllzlng crlme savors of clvlllzaLlon) Murder ls
punlshed wlLh deaLh A shorL Llme ago Lhree murderers were Laken beyond Lhe clLy walls and shoL
Moorlsh guns are noL good and nelLher are Moorlsh marksmen ln Lhls lnsLance Lhey seL up Lhe poor
crlmlnals aL long range llke so many LargeLs and pracLlced on Lhem kepL Lhem hopplng abouL and
dodglng bulleLs for half an hour before Lhey managed Lo drlve Lhe cenLer

When a man sLeals caLLle Lhey cuL off hls rlghL hand and lefL leg and nall Lhem up ln Lhe
markeLplace as a warnlng Lo everybody 1helr surgery ls noL arLlsLlc 1hey sllce around Lhe bone a
llLLle Lhen break off Lhe llmb SomeLlmes Lhe paLlenL geLs well buL as a general Lhlng he donL
Powever Lhe Moorlsh hearL ls sLouL 1he Moors were always brave 1hese crlmlnals undergo Lhe
fearful operaLlon wlLhouL a wlnce wlLhouL a Lremor of any klnd wlLhouL a groan! no amounL of
sufferlng can brlng down Lhe prlde of a Moor or make hlm shame hls dlgnlLy wlLh a cry

Pere marrlage ls conLracLed by Lhe parenLs of Lhe parLles Lo lL 1here are no valenLlnes no sLolen
lnLervlews no rldlng ouL no courLlng ln dlm parlors no lovers quarrels and reconclllaLlons


83


no noLhlng LhaL ls proper Lo approachlng maLrlmony 1he young man Lakes Lhe glrl hls faLher selecLs
for hlm marrles her and afLer LhaL she ls unvelled and he sees her for Lhe flrsL Llme lf afLer due
acqualnLance she sulLs hlm he reLalns her buL lf he suspecLs her purlLy he bundles her back Lo her
faLher lf he flnds her dlseased Lhe same or lf afLer [usL and reasonable Llme ls allowed her she
neglecLs Lo bear chlldren back she goes Lo Lhe home of her chlldhood


Muhammadans here who can afford lL keep a good many wlves on hand 1hey are called wlves
Lhough l belleve Lhe koran only allows four genulne wlves Lhe resL are concublnes 1he Lmperor of
Morocco donL know how many wlves he has buL Lhlnks he has flve hundred Powever LhaL ls near
enough a dozen or so one way or Lhe oLher donL maLLer

Lven Lhe !ews ln Lhe lnLerlor have a plurallLy of wlves

l have caughL a gllmpse of Lhe faces of several Moorlsh women (for Lhey are only human and wlll
expose Lhelr faces for Lhe admlraLlon of a ChrlsLlan dog when no male Moor ls by) and l am full of
veneraLlon for Lhe wlsdom LhaL leads Lhem Lo cover up such aLroclous ugllness

1hey carry Lhelr chlldren aL Lhelr backs ln a sack llke oLher savages Lhe world over

Many of Lhe negroes are held ln slavery by Lhe Moors 8uL Lhe momenL a female slave becomes
her masLers concublne her bonds are broken and as soon as a male slave can read Lhe flrsL chapLer
of Lhe koran (whlch conLalns Lhe creed) he can no longer be held ln bondage

1hey have Lhree Sundays a week ln 1angler 1he Muhammadans comes on lrlday Lhe !ews on
SaLurday and LhaL of Lhe ChrlsLlan Consuls on Sunday 1he !ews are Lhe mosL radlcal 1he Moor goes
Lo hls mosque abouL noon on hls SabbaLh as on any oLher day removes hls shoes aL Lhe door
performs hls abluLlons makes hls salaams presslng hls forehead Lo Lhe pavemenL Llme and agaln
says hls prayers and goes back Lo hls work




86


8uL Lhe !ew shuLs up shop wlll noL Louch copper or bronze money aL all solls hls flngers wlLh
noLhlng meaner Lhan sllver and gold aLLends Lhe synagogue devouLly wlll noL cook or have anyLhlng
Lo do wlLh flre and rellglously refralns from embarklng ln any enLerprlse


1he Moor who has made a pllgrlmage Lo Mecca ls enLlLled Lo hlgh dlsLlncLlon Men call hlm Pad[l
and he ls Lhenceforward a greaL personage Pundreds of Moors come Lo 1angler every year and
embark for Mecca 1hey go parL of Lhe way ln Lngllsh sLeamers and Lhe Len or Lwelve dollars Lhey
pay for passage ls abouL all Lhe Lrlp cosLs 1hey Lake wlLh Lhem a quanLlLy of food and when Lhe
commlssary deparLmenL falls Lhey sklrmlsh as !ack Lerms lL ln hls slnful slangy way lrom Lhe Llme
Lhey leave Llll Lhey geL home agaln Lhey never wash elLher on land or sea 1hey are usually gone
from flve Lo seven monLhs and as Lhey do noL change Lhelr cloLhes durlng all LhaL Llme Lhey are
LoLally unflL for Lhe drawlng room when Lhey geL back

Many of Lhem have Lo rake and scrape a long Llme Lo gaLher LogeLher Lhe Len dollars Lhelr sLeamer
passage cosLs and when one of Lhem geLs back he ls a bankrupL forever afLer lew Moors can ever
bulld up Lhelr forLunes agaln ln one shorL llfeLlme afLer so reckless an ouLlay ln order Lo conflne Lhe
dlgnlLy of Pad[l Lo genLlemen of paLrlclan blood and possesslons Lhe Lmperor decreed LhaL no man
should make Lhe pllgrlmage save bloaLed arlsLocraLs who were worLh a hundred dollars ln specle
8uL behold how lnlqulLy can clrcumvenL Lhe law! lor a conslderaLlon Lhe !ewlsh moneychanger
lends Lhe pllgrlm one hundred dollars long enough for hlm Lo swear hlmself Lhrough and Lhen
recelves lL back before Lhe shlp salls ouL of Lhe harbor!

Spaln ls Lhe only naLlon Lhe Moors fear 1he reason ls LhaL Spaln sends her heavlesL shlps of war
and her loudesL guns Lo asLonlsh Lhese Musllms whlle Amerlca and oLher naLlons send only a llLLle
conLempLlble Lub of a gunboaL occaslonally 1he Moors llke oLher savages learn by whaL Lhey see
noL whaL Lhey hear or read We have greaL fleeLs ln Lhe


87


MedlLerranean buL Lhey seldom Louch aL Afrlcan porLs 1he Moors have a small oplnlon of Lngland
lrance and Amerlca and puL Lhelr represenLaLlves Lo a deal of redLape clrcumlocuLlon before Lhey
granL Lhem Lhelr common rlghLs leL alone a favor 8uL Lhe momenL Lhe Spanlsh mlnlsLer makes a
demand lL ls acceded Lo aL once wheLher lL be [usL or noL

Spaln chasLlsed Lhe Moors flve or slx years ago abouL a dlspuLed plece of properLy opposlLe
ClbralLar and capLured Lhe clLy of 1eLouan She compromlsed on an augmenLaLlon of her LerrlLory
LwenLy mllllon dollars lndemnlLy ln money and peace And Lhen she gave up Lhe clLy 8uL she never
gave lL up unLll Lhe Spanlsh soldlers had eaLen up all Lhe caLs 1hey would noL compromlse as long as
Lhe caLs held ouL Spanlards are very fond of caLs Cn Lhe conLrary Lhe Moors reverence caLs as
someLhlng sacred So Lhe Spanlards Louched Lhem on a Lender polnL LhaL Llme 1helr unfellne
conducL ln eaLlng up all Lhe 1eLouan caLs aroused a haLred Loward Lhem ln Lhe breasLs of Lhe Moors
Lo whlch even Lhe drlvlng Lhem ouL of Spaln was Lame and passlonless Moors and Spanlards are
foes forever now lrance had a mlnlsLer here once who emblLLered Lhe naLlon agalnsL hlm ln Lhe
mosL lnnocenL way Pe kllled a couple of baLLallons of caLs (1angler ls full of Lhem) and made a parlor
carpeL ouL of Lhelr hldes Pe made hls carpeL ln clrcles flrsL a clrcle of old gray LomcaLs wlLh Lhelr
Lalls all polnLlng Loward Lhe cenLer Lhen a clrcle of yellow caLs nexL a clrcle of black caLs and a clrcle
of whlLe ones Lhen a clrcle of all sorLs of caLs and flnally a cenLerplece of assorLed klLLens lL was
very beauLlful buL Lhe Moors curse hls memory Lo Lhls day

When we wenL Lo call on our Amerlcan Consul Ceneral Loday l noLlced LhaL all posslble games for
parlor amusemenL seemed Lo be represenLed on hls cenLer Lables l LhoughL LhaL hlnLed aL
lonesomeness 1he ldea was correcL Pls ls Lhe only Amerlcan famlly ln 1angler 1here are many
forelgn consuls ln Lhls place buL much vlslLlng ls noL lndulged ln 1angler ls clear ouL of Lhe world
and whaL ls Lhe use of


88


vlslLlng when people have noLhlng on earLh Lo Lalk abouL? 1here ls none So each consuls famlly
sLays aL home chlefly and amuses lLself as besL lL can 1angler ls full of lnLeresL for one day buL afLer
LhaL lL ls a weary prlson 1he Consul Ceneral has been here flve years and has goL enough of lL Lo do
hlm for a cenLury and ls golng home shorLly Pls famlly selze upon Lhelr leLLers and papers when Lhe
mall arrlves read Lhem over and over agaln for Lwo days or Lhree Lalk Lhem over and over agaln for
Lwo or Lhree more Llll Lhey wear Lhem ouL and afLer LhaL for days LogeLher Lhey eaL and drlnk and
sleep and rlde ouL over Lhe same old road and see Lhe same old Llresome Lhlngs LhaL even decades
of cenLurles have scarcely changed and say never a slngle word! 1hey have llLerally noLhlng
whaLever Lo Lalk abouL 1he arrlval of an Amerlcan manofwar ls a godsend Lo Lhem C SollLude
where are Lhe charms whlch sages have seen ln Lhy face? lL ls Lhe compleLesL exlle LhaL l can
concelve of l would serlously recommend Lo Lhe governmenL of Lhe unlLed SLaLes LhaL when a man
commlLs a crlme so helnous


89


LhaL Lhe law provldes no adequaLe punlshmenL for lL Lhey make hlm Consul Ceneral Lo 1angler


l am glad Lo have seen 1angler Lhe secondoldesL Lown ln Lhe world 8uL l am ready Lo bld lL
goodbye l belleve

We shall go hence Lo ClbralLar Lhls evenlng or ln Lhe mornlng and doubLless Lhe Cuaker ClLy wlll
sall from LhaL porL wlLhln Lhe nexL forLyelghL hours
ChapLer 10
CPA1L8 x



90



WL passed Lhe lourLh of !uly on board Lhe Cuaker ClLy ln mldocean lL was ln all respecLs a
characLerlsLlc MedlLerranean day faulLlessly beauLlful A cloudless sky a refreshlng summer wlnd
a radlanL sunshlne LhaL gllnLed cheerlly from danclng waveleLs lnsLead of cresLed mounLalns of
waLer a sea beneaLh us LhaL was so wonderfully blue so rlchly brllllanLly blue LhaL lL overcame Lhe
dullesL senslblllLles wlLh Lhe spell of lLs fasclnaLlon

1hey even have flne sunseLs on Lhe MedlLerranean a Lhlng LhaL ls cerLalnly rare ln mosL quarLers
of Lhe globe 1he evenlng we salled away from ClbralLar LhaL hardfeaLured rock was swlmmlng ln a
creamy mlsL so rlch so sofL so enchanLlngly vague and dreamy LhaL even Lhe Cracle LhaL serene
LhaL lnsplred LhaL overpowerlng humbug scorned Lhe dlnner gong and Larrled Lo worshlp!

Pe sald Well LhaLs gorgls alnL lL! 1hey donL have none of Lhem Lhlngs ln our parLs do Lhey? l
conslder LhaL Lhem effecLs ls on accounL of Lhe superlor refragablllLy as you may say of Lhe suns
dlramlc comblnaLlon wlLh Lhe lymphaLlc forces of Lhe perlhellon of !ublLer WhaL should you Lhlnk?

Ch go Lo bed! uan sald LhaL and wenL away

Ch yes lLs all very well Lo say go Lo bed when a man makes an argumenL whlch anoLher man
canL answer uan donL never sLand any chance ln an argumenL wlLh me And he knows lL Loo WhaL
should you say !ack?

now uocLor donL you come boLherlng around me wlLh LhaL dlcLlonary bosh l donL do you any
harm do l? 1hen you leL me alone




91


Pes gone Loo Well Lhem fellows have all Lackled Lhe old Cracle as Lhey say buL Lhe old mans
mosL Loo many for em Maybe Lhe oeL LarlaL alnL saLlsfled wlLh Lhem deducLlons?


1he poeL replled wlLh a barbarous rhyme and wenL below

ears LhaL he canL quallfy nelLher Well l dldnL expecL noLhlng ouL of hlm l never see one of
Lhem poeLs yeL LhaL knowed anyLhlng Pell go down now and grlnd ouL abouL four reams of Lhe
awfullesL slush abouL LhaL old rock and glve lL Lo a consul or a plloL or a nlgger or anybody he
comes across flrsL whlch he can lmpose on lLy buL somebodyd Lake LhaL poor old lunaLlc and dlg all
LhaL poeLry rubbage ouL of hlm Why canL a man puL hls lnLellecL onLo Lhlngs LhaLs some value?
Clbbons and PlppocraLus and Sarcophagus and all Lhem old anclenL phllosophers was down on
poeLs

uocLor l sald you are golng Lo lnvenL auLhorlLles now and lll leave you Loo l always en[oy
your conversaLlon noLwlLhsLandlng Lhe luxurlance of your syllables when Lhe phllosophy you offer
resLs on your own responslblllLy buL when you begln Lo soar when you begln Lo supporL lL wlLh
Lhe evldence of auLhorlLles who are Lhe creaLlons of your own fancy l lose confldence

1haL was Lhe way Lo flaLLer Lhe docLor Pe consldered lL a sorL of acknowledgmenL on my parL of a
fear Lo argue wlLh hlm Pe was always persecuLlng Lhe passengers wlLh absLruse proposlLlons framed
ln language LhaL no man could undersLand and Lhey endured Lhe exqulslLe LorLure a mlnuLe or Lwo
and Lhen abandoned Lhe fleld A Lrlumph llke Lhls over half a


92


dozen anLagonlsLs was sufflclenL for one day from LhaL Llme forward he would paLrol Lhe decks
beamlng blandly upon all comers and so Lranqullly bllssfully happy!

8uL l dlgress 1he Lhunder of our Lwo brave cannon announced Lhe lourLh of !uly aL dayllghL Lo all
who were awake 8uL many of us goL our lnformaLlon aL a laLer hour from Lhe almanac All Lhe flags
were senL alofL excepL half a dozen LhaL were needed Lo decoraLe porLlons of Lhe shlp below and ln
a shorL Llme Lhe vessel assumed a hollday appearance uurlng Lhe mornlng meeLlngs were held and
all manner of commlLLees seL Lo work on Lhe celebraLlon ceremonles ln Lhe afLernoon Lhe shlps
company assembled afL on deck under Lhe awnlngs Lhe fluLe Lhe asLhmaLlc melodeon and Lhe
consumpLlve clarlneL crlppled 1he SLarSpangled 8anner Lhe cholr chased lL Lo cover and Ceorge
came ln wlLh a pecullarly laceraLlng screech on Lhe flnal noLe and slaughLered lL nobody mourned

We carrled ouL Lhe corpse on Lhree cheers (LhaL [oke was noL lnLenLlonal and l do noL endorse lL)
and Lhen Lhe resldenL Lhroned behlnd a cable locker wlLh a naLlonal flag spread over lL announced
Lhe 8eader who rose up and read LhaL same old ueclaraLlon of lndependence whlch we have all
llsLened Lo so ofLen wlLhouL paylng any aLLenLlon Lo whaL lL sald and afLer LhaL Lhe resldenL plped
Lhe CraLor of Lhe uay Lo quarLers and he made LhaL same old speech abouL our naLlonal greaLness
whlch we so rellglously belleve and so fervenLly applaud now came Lhe cholr lnLo courL agaln wlLh
Lhe complalnlng lnsLrumenLs and assaulLed Pall Columbla and when vlcLory hung waverlng ln Lhe
scale Ceorge reLurned wlLh hls dreadful wlldgoose sLop Lurned on and Lhe cholr won of course A
mlnlsLer pronounced Lhe benedlcLlon and Lhe paLrloLlc llLLle gaLherlng dlsbanded 1he lourLh of !uly
was safe as far as Lhe MedlLerranean was concerned

AL dlnner ln Lhe evenlng a wellwrlLLen orlglnal poem was reclLed wlLh splrlL by one of Lhe shlps
capLalns and LhlrLeen regular LoasLs were washed down wlLh several baskeLs of champagne 1he
speeches were bad execrable almosL wlLhouL


93


excepLlon ln facL wlLhouL any excepLlon buL one CapLaln uuncan made a good speech he made
Lhe only good speech of Lhe evenlng Pe sald


LAulLS Anu CLn1LLMLn May we all llve Lo a green old age and be prosperous and happy
SLeward brlng up anoLher baskeL of champagne

lL was regarded as a very able efforL

1he fesLlvlLles so Lo speak closed wlLh anoLher of Lhose mlraculous balls on Lhe promenade deck
We were noL used Lo danclng on an even keel Lhough and lL was only a quesLlonable success 8uL
Lake lL all LogeLher lL was a brlghL cheerful pleasanL lourLh

1oward nlghLfall Lhe nexL evenlng we sLeamed lnLo Lhe greaL arLlflclal harbor of Lhls noble clLy of
Marsellles and saw Lhe dylng sunllghL glld lLs clusLerlng splres and ramparLs and flood lLs leagues of
envlronlng verdure wlLh a mellow radlance LhaL Louched wlLh an added charm Lhe whlLe vlllas LhaL
flecked Lhe landscape far and near CopyrlghL secured accordlng Lo law

1here were no sLages ouL and we could noL geL on Lhe pler from Lhe shlp lL was annoylng We
were full of enLhuslasm we wanLed Lo see lrance! !usL aL nlghLfall our parLy of Lhree conLracLed
wlLh a waLerman for Lhe prlvllege of uslng hls boaL as a brldge lLs sLern was aL our companlon
ladder and lLs bow Louched Lhe pler We goL ln and Lhe fellow backed ouL lnLo Lhe harbor l Lold hlm
ln lrench LhaL all we wanLed was Lo walk over hls LhwarLs and sLep ashore and asked hlm whaL he
wenL away ouL Lhere for Pe sald he could noL undersLand me l repeaLed SLlll he could noL
undersLand Pe appeared Lo be very lgnoranL of lrench 1he docLor Lrled hlm buL he could noL
undersLand Lhe docLor l asked Lhls boaLman Lo explaln hls conducL whlch he dld and Lhen l couldnL
undersLand hlm uan sald

Ch go Lo Lhe pler you old fool LhaLs where we wanL Lo go!

We reasoned calmly wlLh uan LhaL lL was useless Lo speak Lo Lhls forelgner ln Lngllsh LhaL he had
beLLer leL us conducL Lhls buslness ln Lhe lrench language and noL leL Lhe sLranger see how
unculLlvaLed he was




94


Well go on go on he sald donL mlnd me l donL wlsh Lo lnLerfere Cnly lf you go on Lelllng hlm
ln your klnd of lrench he never wlll flnd ouL where we wanL Lo go Lo 1haL ls whaL l Lhlnk abouL lL


We rebuked hlm severely for Lhls remark and sald we never knew an lgnoranL person yeL buL was
pre[udlced 1he lrenchman spoke agaln and Lhe docLor sald

1here now uan he says he ls golng Lo allez Lo Lhe doualn Means he ls golng Lo Lhe hoLel Ch
cerLalnly we donL know Lhe lrench language

1hls was a crusher as !ack would say lL sllenced furLher crlLlclsm from Lhe dlsaffecLed member
We coasLed pasL Lhe sharp bows of a navy of greaL sLeamshlps and sLopped aL lasL aL a governmenL
bulldlng on a sLone pler lL was easy Lo remember Lhen LhaL Lhe doualn was Lhe cusLomhouse and
noL Lhe hoLel We dld noL menLlon lL however WlLh wlnnlng lrench pollLeness Lhe offlcers merely
opened and closed our saLchels decllned Lo examlne our passporLs and senL us on our way We
sLopped aL Lhe flrsL cafe we came Lo and enLered An old woman seaLed us aL a Lable and walLed for
orders 1he docLor sald

Avezvous du vln?

1he dame looked perplexed 1he docLor sald agaln wlLh elaboraLe dlsLlncLness of arLlculaLlon

Avezvous du vln!

1he dame looked more perplexed Lhan before l sald

uocLor Lhere ls a flaw ln your pronunclaLlon somewhere LeL me Lry her Madame avezvous du
vln? lL lsnL any use uocLor Lake Lhe wlLness

Madame avezvous du vln du fromage paln plckled plgs feeL beurre des oeufs du
boeuf horseradlsh sauerkrauL hog and homlny anyLhlng anyLhlng ln Lhe world LhaL can sLay a
ChrlsLlan sLomach!

She sald

8less you why dldnL you speak Lngllsh before? l donL know anyLhlng abouL your plagued
lrench!

1he humlllaLlng LaunLs of Lhe dlsaffecLed member spolled


93


Lhe supper and we dlspaLched lL ln angry sllence and goL away as soon as we could Pere we were
ln beauLlful lrance ln a vasL sLone house of qualnL archlLecLure surrounded by all manner of
curlously worded lrench slgns sLared aL by sLrangely hablLed bearded lrench people everyLhlng
gradually and surely forclng upon us Lhe coveLed consclousness LhaL aL lasL and beyond all quesLlon
we were ln beauLlful lrance and absorblng lLs naLure Lo Lhe forgeLfulness of everyLhlng else and
comlng Lo feel Lhe happy romance of Lhe Lhlng ln all lLs enchanLlng dellghLfulness and Lo Lhlnk of
Lhls sklnny veLeran lnLrudlng wlLh her vlle Lngllsh aL such a momenL Lo blow Lhe falr vlslon Lo Lhe
wlnds! lL was exasperaLlng


We seL ouL Lo flnd Lhe cenLre of Lhe clLy lnqulrlng Lhe dlrecLlon every now and Lhen We never dld
succeed ln maklng anybody undersLand [usL exacLly whaL we wanLed and nelLher dld we ever
succeed ln comprehendlng [usL exacLly whaL Lhey


96


sald ln reply buL Lhen Lhey always polnLed Lhey always dld LhaL and we bowed pollLely and sald
Mercl monsleur and so lL was a bllghLlng Lrlumph over Lhe dlsaffecLed member anyway Pe was
resLlve under Lhese vlcLorles and ofLen asked

WhaL dld LhaL plraLe say?

Why he Lold us whlch way Lo go Lo flnd Lhe Crand Caslno

?es buL whaL dld he say?

Ch lL donL maLLer whaL he sald we undersLood hlm 1hese are educaLed people noL llke LhaL
absurd boaLman

Well l wlsh Lhey were educaLed enough Lo Lell a man a dlrecLlon LhaL goes some where for
weve been golng around ln a clrcle for an hour lve passed Lhls same old drugsLore seven Llmes

We sald lL was a low dlsrepuLable falsehood (buL we knew lL was noL) lL was plaln LhaL lL would
noL do Lo pass LhaL drugsLore agaln Lhough we mlghL go on asklng dlrecLlons buL we musL cease
from followlng flngerpolnLlngs lf we hoped Lo check Lhe susplclons of Lhe dlsaffecLed member

A long walk Lhrough smooLh asphalLumpaved sLreeLs bordered by blocks of vasL new mercanLlle
houses of creamcolored sLone every house and every block preclsely llke all Lhe oLher houses and
all Lhe oLher blocks for a mlle and all brllllanLly llghLed broughL us aL lasL Lo Lhe prlnclpal
Lhoroughfare Cn every hand were brlghL colors flashlng consLellaLlons of gas burners gally dressed
men and women Lhronglng Lhe sldewalks hurry llfe acLlvlLy cheerfulness conversaLlon and
laughLer everywhere! We found Lhe Crand PoLel du Louvre eL de la alx and wroLe down who we
were where we were born whaL our occupaLlons were Lhe place we came from lasL wheLher we
were marrled or slngle how we llked lL how old we were where we were bound for and when we
expecLed Lo


97


geL Lhere and a greaL deal of lnformaLlon of slmllar lmporLance all for Lhe beneflL of Lhe landlord
and Lhe secreL pollce We hlred a gulde and began Lhe buslness of slghLseelng lmmedlaLely 1haL flrsL
nlghL on lrench soll was a sLlrrlng one l cannoL Lhlnk of half Lhe places we wenL Lo or whaL we
parLlcularly saw we had no dlsposlLlon Lo examlne carefully lnLo anyLhlng aL all we only wanLed Lo
glance and go Lo move keep movlng! 1he splrlL of Lhe counLry was upon us We saL down flnally
aL a laLe hour ln Lhe greaL Caslno and called for unsLlnLed champagne lL ls so easy Lo be bloaLed
arlsLocraLs where lL cosLs noLhlng of consequence! 1here were abouL flve hundred people ln LhaL
dazzllng place l suppose Lhough Lhe walls belng papered enLlrely wlLh mlrrors so Lo speak one
could noL really Lell buL LhaL Lhere were a hundred Lhousand ?oung dalnLlly dressed exqulslLes and
young sLyllshly dressed women and also old genLlemen and old ladles saL ln couples and groups
abouL lnnumerable marbleLopped Lables and aLe fancy suppers drank wlne and kepL up a
chaLLerlng dln of conversaLlon LhaL was dazlng Lo Lhe senses 1here was a sLage aL Lhe far end and a
large orchesLra and every now and Lhen acLors and acLresses ln preposLerous comlc dresses came
ouL and sang Lhe mosL exLravaganLly funny songs Lo [udge by Lhelr absurd acLlons buL LhaL audlence
merely suspended lLs chaLLer sLared cynlcally and never once smlled never once applauded! l had
always LhoughL LhaL lrenchmen were ready Lo laugh aL any Lhlng

ChapLer 11
CPA1L8 xl



98



WL are geLLlng forelgnlzed rapldly and wlLh faclllLy We are geLLlng reconclled Lo halls and
bedchambers wlLh unhomellke sLone floors and no carpeLs floors LhaL rlng Lo Lhe Lread of ones
heels wlLh a sharpness LhaL ls deaLh Lo senLlmenLal muslng We are geLLlng used Lo Lldy nolseless
walLers who gllde hlLher and LhlLher and hover abouL your back and your elbows llke buLLerflles
qulck Lo comprehend orders qulck Lo flll Lhem Lhankful for a graLulLy wlLhouL regard Lo Lhe amounL
and always pollLe never oLherwlse Lhan pollLe 1haL ls Lhe sLrangesL curloslLy yeL a really pollLe
hoLel walLer who lsnL an ldloL We are geLLlng used Lo drlvlng rlghL lnLo Lhe cenLral courL of Lhe
hoLel ln Lhe mldsL of a fragranL clrcle of vlnes and flowers and ln Lhe mldsL also of parLles of
genLlemen slLLlng quleLly readlng Lhe paper and smoklng We are geLLlng used Lo lce frozen by
arLlflclal process ln ordlnary boLLles Lhe only klnd of lce Lhey have here We are geLLlng used Lo all
Lhese Lhlngs buL we are noL geLLlng used Lo carrylng our own soap We are sufflclenLly clvlllzed Lo
carry our own combs and LooLhbrushes buL Lhls Lhlng of havlng Lo rlng for soap every Llme we wash
ls new Lo us and noL pleasanL aL all We Lhlnk of lL [usL afLer we geL our heads and faces Lhoroughly
weL or [usL when we Lhlnk we have been ln Lhe baLhLub long enough and Lhen of course an
annoylng delay follows 1hese Marselllalses make Marselllalse hymns and Marsellles vesLs and
Marsellles soap for all Lhe world buL Lhey never slng Lhelr hymns or wear Lhelr vesLs or wash wlLh
Lhelr soap Lhemselves




99


We have learned Lo go Lhrough Lhe llngerlng rouLlne of Lhe Lable dhoLe wlLh paLlence wlLh
serenlLy wlLh saLlsfacLlon We Lake soup Lhen walL a few mlnuLes for Lhe flsh a few mlnuLes more
and Lhe plaLes are changed and Lhe roasL beef comes anoLher change and we Lake peas change
agaln and Lake lenLlls change and Lake snall paLLles (l prefer grasshoppers) change and Lake roasL
chlcken and salad Lhen sLrawberry ple and lce cream Lhen green flgs pears oranges green
almonds eLc flnally coffee Wlne wlLh every course of course belng ln lrance WlLh such a cargo
on board dlgesLlon ls a slow process and we musL slL long ln Lhe cool chambers and smoke and
read lrench newspapers whlch have a sLrange fashlon of Lelllng a perfecLly sLralghL sLory Llll you geL
Lo Lhe nub of lL and Lhen a word drops ln LhaL no man can LranslaLe and LhaL sLory ls rulned An
embankmenL fell on some lrenchmen yesLerday and Lhe papers are full of lL Loday buL wheLher
Lhose sufferers were kllled or crlppled or brulsed or only scared ls more Lhan l can posslbly make
ouL and yeL l would [usL glve anyLhlng Lo know


We were Lroubled a llLLle aL dlnner Loday by Lhe conducL of an Amerlcan who Lalked very loudly
and coarsely and laughed bolsLerously where all oLhers were so quleL and well behaved Pe ordered
wlne wlLh a royal flourlsh and sald


100


l never dlne wlLhouL wlne slr (whlch was a plLlful falsehood) and looked around upon Lhe
company Lo bask ln Lhe admlraLlon he expecLed Lo flnd ln Lhelr faces All Lhese alrs ln a land where
Lhey would as soon expecL Lo leave Lhe soup ouL of Lhe blll of fare as Lhe wlne! ln a land where
wlne ls nearly as common among all ranks as waLer! 1hls fellow sald l am a freeborn soverelgn slr
an Amerlcan slr and l wanL everybody Lo know lL! Pe dld noL menLlon LhaL he was a llneal
descendanL of 8alaams ass buL everybody knew LhaL wlLhouL hls Lelllng lL

We have drlven ln Lhe rado LhaL superb avenue bordered wlLh paLrlclan manslons and noble
shade Lrees and have vlslLed Lhe chLeau 8oarely and lLs curlous museum 1hey showed us a
mlnlaLure cemeLery Lhere a copy of Lhe flrsL graveyard LhaL was ever ln Marsellles no doubL 1he
dellcaLe llLLle skeleLons were lylng ln broken vaulLs and had Lhelr household gods and klLchen
uLenslls wlLh Lhem 1he orlglnal of Lhls cemeLery was dug up ln Lhe prlnclpal sLreeL of Lhe clLy a few
years ago lL had remalned Lhere only Lwelve feeL underground for a maLLer of LwenLyflve hundred
years or LhereabouLs 8omulus was here before he bullL 8ome and LhoughL someLhlng of foundlng a
clLy on Lhls spoL buL gave up Lhe ldea Pe may have been personally acqualnLed wlLh some of Lhese
hoenlclans whose skeleLons we have been examlnlng

ln Lhe greaL Zoologlcal Cardens we found speclmens of all Lhe anlmals Lhe world produces l Lhlnk
lncludlng a dromedary a monkey ornamenLed wlLh LufLs of brllllanL blue and


101


carmlne halr a very gorgeous monkey he was a hlppopoLamus from Lhe nlle and a sorL of Lall
longlegged blrd wlLh a beak llke a powder horn and closeflLLlng wlngs llke Lhe Lalls of a dress coaL
1hls fellow sLood up wlLh hls eyes shuL and hls shoulders sLooped forward a llLLle and looked as lf he
had hls hands under hls coaL Lalls Such Lranqull sLupldlLy such supernaLural gravlLy such self
rlghLeousness and such lneffable selfcomplacency as were ln Lhe counLenance and aLLlLude of LhaL
graybodled darkwlnged baldheaded and preposLerously uncomely blrd! Pe was so ungalnly so
plmply abouL Lhe head so scaly abouL Lhe legs yeL so serene so unspeakably saLlsfled! Pe was Lhe
mosL comlcallooklng creaLure LhaL can be lmaglned lL was good Lo hear uan and Lhe docLor laugh
such naLural and such en[oyable laughLer had noL been heard among our excurslonlsLs slnce our shlp
salled away from Amerlca 1hls blrd was a godsend Lo us and l should be an lngraLe lf l forgoL Lo
make honorable menLlon of hlm ln Lhese pages Curs was a pleasure excurslon Lherefore we sLayed
wlLh LhaL blrd an hour and made Lhe mosL of hlm We sLlrred hlm up occaslonally buL he only
unclosed an eye and slowly closed lL agaln abaLlng no [oL of hls sLaLely pleLy of demeanor or hls
Lremendous serlousness Pe only seemed Lo say ueflle noL Peavens anolnLed wlLh unsancLlfled
hands We dld noL know hls name and so we called hlm 1he llgrlm uan sald





102


All he wanLs now ls a lymouLh CollecLlon

1he boon companlon of Lhe colossal elephanL was a common caL! 1hls caL had a fashlon of
cllmblng up Lhe elephanLs hlnd legs and roosLlng on hls back She would slL up Lhere wlLh her paws
curved under her breasL and sleep ln Lhe sun half Lhe afLernoon lL used Lo annoy Lhe elephanL aL
flrsL and he would reach up and Lake her down buL she would go afL and cllmb up agaln She
perslsLed unLll she flnally conquered Lhe elephanLs pre[udlces and now Lhey are lnseparable
frlends 1he caL plays abouL her comrades forefeeL or hls Lrunk ofLen unLll dogs approach and Lhen
she goes alofL ouL of danger 1he elephanL has annlhllaLed several dogs laLely LhaL pressed hls
companlon Loo closely

We hlred a sallboaL and a gulde and made an excurslon Lo one of Lhe small lslands ln Lhe harbor Lo
vlslL Lhe CasLle dlf 1hls anclenL forLress has a melancholy hlsLory lL has been used as a prlson for
pollLlcal offenders for Lwo or Lhree hundred years and lLs dungeon walls are scarred wlLh Lhe rudely
carved names of many and many a capLlve who freLLed hls llfe away here and lefL no record of
hlmself buL Lhese sad eplLaphs wroughL wlLh hls own hands Pow Lhlck Lhe names were! And Lhelr
longdeparLed owners seemed Lo Lhrong Lhe gloomy cells and corrldors wlLh Lhelr phanLom shapes
We lolLered Lhrough dungeon afLer dungeon away down lnLo Lhe llvlng rock below Lhe level of Lhe
sea lL seemed names everywhere! some plebelan some noble some even prlncely lebelan
prlnce and noble had one sollclLude ln common Lhey would noL be forgoLLen! 1hey could suffer
sollLude lnacLlvlLy and Lhe horrors of a sllence LhaL no sound ever dlsLurbed buL Lhey could noL
bear Lhe LhoughL of belng uLLerly forgoLLen by Lhe world Pence Lhe carved names ln one cell
where a llLLle llghL peneLraLed a man had llved LwenLyseven years wlLhouL seelng Lhe face of a
human belng llved ln fllLh and wreLchedness wlLh no companlonshlp buL hls own LhoughLs and
Lhey were sorrowful enough and hopeless enough no doubL WhaLever hls [allers consldered LhaL he
needed was conveyed Lo hls cell by nlghL Lhrough a wlckeL


103


1hls man carved Lhe walls of hls prlson house from floor Lo roof wlLh all manner of flgures of men
and anlmals grouped ln lnLrlcaLe deslgns Pe had Lolled Lhere year afLer year aL hls selfappolnLed
Lask whlle lnfanLs grew Lo boyhood Lo vlgorous youLh ldled Lhrough school and college
acqulred a professlon clalmed mans maLure esLaLe marrled and looked back Lo lnfancy as Lo a
Lhlng


104


of some vague anclenL Llme almosL 8uL who shall Lell how many ages lL seemed Lo Lhls prlsoner?
WlLh Lhe one Llme flew someLlmes wlLh Lhe oLher never lL crawled always 1o Lhe one nlghLs
spenL ln danclng had seemed made of mlnuLes lnsLead of hours Lo Lhe oLher Lhose selfsame nlghLs
had been llke all oLher nlghLs of dungeon llfe and seemed made of slow dragglng weeks lnsLead of
hours and mlnuLes


Cne prlsoner of flfLeen years had scraLched verses upon hls walls and brlef prose senLences
brlef buL full of paLhos 1hese spoke noL of hlmself and hls hard esLaLe buL only of Lhe shrlne where
hls splrlL fled Lhe prlson Lo worshlp of home and Lhe ldols LhaL were Lempled Lhere Pe never llved
Lo see Lhem

1he walls of Lhese dungeons are as Lhlck as some bedchambers aL home are wlde flfLeen feeL
We saw Lhe damp dlsmal cells ln whlch Lwo of uumas heroes passed Lhelr conflnemenL heroes of
MonLe CrlsLo lL was here LhaL Lhe brave Abbe wroLe a book wlLh hls own blood wlLh a pen made
of a plece of lron hoop and by Lhe llghL of a lamp made ouL of shreds of cloLh soaked ln grease
obLalned from hls food and Lhen dug Lhrough Lhe Lhlck wall wlLh some Lrlfllng lnsLrumenL whlch he
wroughL hlmself ouL of a sLray plece of lron or Lable cuLlery and freed uanLes from hls chalns lL was
a plLy LhaL so many weeks of dreary labor should have come Lo naughL aL lasL

1hey showed us Lhe nolsome cell where Lhe celebraLed lron Mask LhaL lllsLarred broLher of a
hardhearLed klng of lrance was conflned for a season before he was senL Lo hlde Lhe sLrange
mysLery of hls llfe from Lhe curlous ln Lhe dungeons of SLe MarguerlLe 1he place had a far greaLer
lnLeresL for us Lhan lL could have had lf we had known beyond all quesLlon who Lhe lron Mask was
and whaL hls hlsLory had been and why Lhls mosL unusual punlshmenL had been meLed ouL Lo hlm
MysLery! 1haL was Lhe charm 1haL speechless Longue Lhose prlsoned feaLures LhaL hearL so
frelghLed wlLh unspoken Lroubles and LhaL breasL so oppressed wlLh lLs plLeous secreL had been
here 1hese dank walls had known Lhe man whose dolorous sLory ls a sealed book forever! 1here
was fasclnaLlon ln Lhe spoL
ChapLer 12
CPA1L8 xll



103



WL have come flve hundred mlles by rall Lhrough Lhe hearL of lrance WhaL a bewlLchlng land lL ls!
WhaL a garden! Surely Lhe leagues of brlghL green lawns are swepL and brushed and waLered every
day and Lhelr grasses Lrlmmed by Lhe barber Surely Lhe hedges are shaped and measured and Lhelr
symmeLry preserved by Lhe mosL archlLecLural of gardeners Surely Lhe long sLralghL rows of sLaLely
poplars LhaL dlvlde Lhe beauLlful landscape llke Lhe squares of a checkerboard are seL wlLh llne and
plummeL and Lhelr unlform helghL deLermlned wlLh a splrlL level Surely Lhe sLralghL smooLh pure
whlLe Lurnplkes are [ackplaned and sandpapered every day Pow else are Lhese marvels of
symmeLry cleanllness and order aLLalned? lL ls wonderful 1here are no unslghLly sLone walls and
never a fence of any klnd 1here ls no dlrL no decay no rubblsh anywhere noLhlng LhaL even hlnLs
aL unLldlness noLhlng LhaL ever suggesLs neglecL All ls orderly and beauLlful every Lhlng ls
charmlng Lo Lhe eye

We had such gllmpses of Lhe 8hone glldlng along beLween lLs grassy banks of cosy coLLages burled
ln flowers and shrubbery of qualnL old redLlled vlllages wlLh mossy medleval caLhedrals loomlng
ouL of Lhelr mldsL of wooded hllls wlLh lvygrown Lowers and LurreLs of feudal casLles pro[ecLlng
above Lhe follage such gllmpses of aradlse lL seemed Lo us such vlslons of fabled falryland!

We knew Lhen whaL Lhe poeL meanL when he sang of
Lhy cornflelds green and sunny vlnes
C pleasanL land of lrance!



106



And lL ls a pleasanL land no word descrlbes lL so fellclLously as LhaL one 1hey say Lhere ls no word
for home ln Lhe lrench language Well conslderlng LhaL Lhey have Lhe arLlcle lLself ln such an
aLLracLlve aspecL Lhey oughL Lo manage Lo geL along wlLhouL Lhe word LeL us noL wasLe Loo much
plLy on homeless lrance l have observed LhaL lrenchmen abroad seldom wholly glve up Lhe ldea
of golng back Lo lrance some Llme or oLher l am noL surprlsed aL lL now

We are noL lnfaLuaLed wlLh Lhese lrench rallway cars Lhough We Look flrsLclass passage noL
because we wlshed Lo aLLracL aLLenLlon by dolng a Lhlng whlch ls uncommon ln Lurope buL because
we could make our [ourney qulcker by so dolng lL ls hard Lo make rallroadlng pleasanL ln any
counLry lL ls Loo Ledlous SLagecoachlng ls lnflnlLely more dellghLful Cnce l crossed Lhe plalns and
deserLs and mounLalns of Lhe WesL ln a sLagecoach from Lhe Mlssourl llne Lo Callfornla and slnce
Lhen all my pleasure Lrlps musL be measured Lo LhaL rare hollday frollc 1wo Lhousand mlles of
ceaseless rush and raLLle and claLLer by nlghL and by day and never a weary momenL never a lapse
of lnLeresL! 1he flrsL seven hundred mlles a level conLlnenL lLs grassy carpeL greener and sofLer and
smooLher Lhan any sea and flgured wlLh deslgns flLLed Lo lLs magnlLude Lhe shadows of Lhe clouds
Pere were no scenes buL summer scenes and no dlsposlLlon lnsplred by Lhem buL Lo lle aL full lengLh
on Lhe mall sacks ln Lhe graLeful breeze and dreamlly smoke Lhe plpe of peace whaL oLher where
all was repose and conLenLmenL? ln cool mornlngs before Lhe sun was falrly up lL was worLh a
llfeLlme of clLy Lolllng and molllng Lo perch ln Lhe foreLop wlLh Lhe drlver and see Lhe slx musLangs
scamper under Lhe sharp snapplng of Lhe whlp LhaL never Louched Lhem Lo scan Lhe blue dlsLances
of a world LhaL knew no lords buL us Lo cleave Lhe wlnd wlLh uncovered head and feel Lhe slugglsh
pulses rouslng Lo Lhe splrlL of a speed LhaL preLended Lo Lhe reslsLless rush of a Lyphoon! 1hen
LhlrLeen hundred mlles of deserL sollLudes of llmlLless panoramas of bewllderlng perspecLlve of
mlmlc clLles of plnnacled caLhedrals of masslve forLresses counLerfelLed ln Lhe


107


eLernal rocks and splendld wlLh Lhe crlmson and gold of Lhe seLLlng sun of dlzzy alLlLudes among
fogwreaLhed peaks and nevermelLlng snows where Lhunders and llghLnlngs and LempesLs warred
magnlflcenLly aL our feeL and Lhe sLorm clouds above swung Lhelr shredded banners ln our very
faces! 8uL l forgoL l am ln eleganL lrance now and noL scurrylng Lhrough Lhe greaL SouLh ass and
Lhe Wlnd 8lver MounLalns among anLelopes and buffaloes and palnLed lndlans on Lhe warpaLh lL ls
noL meeL LhaL l should make Loo dlsparaglng comparlsons beLween humdrum Lravel on a rallway and
LhaL royal summer fllghL across a conLlnenL ln a sLagecoach l meanL ln Lhe beglnnlng Lo say LhaL
rallway [ourneylng ls Ledlous and Llresome and so lL ls Lhough aL Lhe Llme l was Lhlnklng
parLlcularly of a dlsmal flfLyhour pllgrlmage beLween new ?ork and SL Louls Cf course our Lrlp
Lhrough lrance was noL really Ledlous because all lLs scenes and experlences were new and sLrange
buL as uan says lL had lLs dlscrepancles


1he cars are bullL ln comparLmenLs LhaL hold elghL persons each Lach comparLmenL ls parLlally
subdlvlded and so Lhere are Lwo Lolerably dlsLlncL parLles of four ln lL lour face Lhe oLher four 1he
seaLs and backs are Lhlckly padded and cushloned and are very comforLable you can smoke lf you
wlsh Lhere are no boLhersome peddlers you are saved Lhe lnfllcLlon of a mulLlLude of dlsagreeable
fellow passengers So far so well 8uL Lhen Lhe conducLor locks you ln when Lhe Lraln sLarLs Lhere ls
no waLer Lo drlnk ln Lhe car Lhere ls no heaLlng apparaLus for nlghL Lravel lf a drunken rowdy should
geL ln you could noL remove a maLLer of LwenLy seaLs from hlm or enLer anoLher car buL above all
lf you are worn ouL and musL sleep you musL slL up and do lL ln naps wlLh cramped legs and ln a
LorLurlng mlsery LhaL leaves you wlLhered and llfeless Lhe nexL day for behold Lhey have noL LhaL
culmlnaLlon of all charlLy and human klndness a sleeplng car ln all lrance l prefer Lhe Amerlcan
sysLem lL has noL so many grlevous dlscrepancles

ln lrance all ls clockwork all ls order 1hey make no


108


mlsLakes Lvery Lhlrd man wears a unlform and wheLher he be a marshal of Lhe emplre or a
brakeman he ls ready and perfecLly wllllng Lo answer all your quesLlons wlLh Llreless pollLeness
ready Lo Lell you whlch car Lo Lake yea and ready Lo go and puL you lnLo lL Lo make sure LhaL you
shall noL go asLray ?ou cannoL pass lnLo Lhe walLlng room of Lhe depoL Llll you have secured your
LlckeL and you cannoL pass from lLs only exlL Llll Lhe Lraln ls aL lLs Lhreshold Lo recelve you Cnce on
board Lhe Lraln wlll noL sLarL Llll your LlckeL has been examlned Llll every passengers LlckeL has
been lnspecLed 1hls ls chlefly for your own good lf by any posslblllLy you have managed Lo Lake Lhe
wrong Lraln you wlll be handed over Lo a pollLe offlclal who wlll Lake you whlLher you belong and
besLow you wlLh many an affable bow ?our LlckeL wlll be lnspecLed every now and Lhen along Lhe
rouLe and when lL ls Llme Lo change cars you wlll know lL ?ou are ln Lhe hands of offlclals who
zealously sLudy your welfare and your lnLeresL lnsLead of Lurnlng Lhelr LalenLs Lo Lhe lnvenLlon of
new meLhods of dlscommodlng and snubblng you as ls very ofLen Lhe maln employmenL of LhaL
exceedlngly selfsaLlsfled monarch Lhe rallroad conducLor of Amerlca


8uL Lhe happlesL regulaLlon ln lrench rallway governmenL


109


ls LhlrLy mlnuLes Lo dlnner! no flvemlnuLe bolLlngs of flabby rolls muddy coffee quesLlonable
eggs guLLapercha beef and ples whose concepLlon and execuLlon are a dark and bloody mysLery Lo
all save Lhe cook LhaL creaLed Lhem! no we saL calmly down lL was ln old ul[on whlch ls so easy Lo
spell and so lmposslble Lo pronounce excepL when you clvlllze lL and call lL ueml[ohn and poured
ouL rlch 8urgundlan wlnes and munched calmly Lhrough a long Lable dhLe blll of fare snall paLLles
dellclous frulLs and all Lhen pald Lhe Lrlfle lL cosL and sLepped happlly aboard Lhe Lraln agaln
wlLhouL once curslng Lhe rallroad company A rare experlence and one Lo be Lreasured forever

1hey say Lhey do noL have accldenLs on Lhese lrench roads and l Lhlnk lL musL be Lrue lf l
remember rlghLly we passed hlgh above wagon roads or Lhrough Lunnels under Lhem buL never
crossed Lhem on Lhelr own level AbouL every quarLer of a mlle lL seemed Lo me a man came ouL
and held up a club Llll Lhe Lraln wenL by Lo slgnlfy LhaL everyLhlng was safe ahead SwlLches were
changed a mlle ln advance by pulllng a wlre rope LhaL passed along Lhe ground by Lhe rall from


110


sLaLlon Lo sLaLlon Slgnals for Lhe day and slgnals for Lhe nlghL gave consLanL and Llmely noLlce of Lhe
poslLlon of swlLches


no Lhey have no rallroad accldenLs Lo speak of ln lrance 8uL why? 8ecause when one occurs
somebody has Lo hang for lL! 121 noL hang maybe buL be punlshed aL leasL wlLh such vlgor of
emphasls as Lo make negllgence a Lhlng Lo be shuddered aL by rallroad offlclals for many a day
LhereafLer no blame aLLached Lo Lhe offlcers LhaL lylng and dlsasLerbreedlng verdlcL so
common Lo our sofLhearLed [urles ls seldom rendered ln lrance lf Lhe Lrouble occurred ln Lhe
conducLors deparLmenL LhaL offlcer musL suffer lf hls subordlnaLe cannoL be proven gullLy lf ln Lhe
englneers deparLmenL and Lhe case be slmllar Lhe englneer musL answer

1he Cld 1ravelers Lhose dellghLful parroLs who have been here before and know more abouL
Lhe counLry Lhan Louls napoleon knows now or ever wlll know Lell us Lhese Lhlngs and we belleve
Lhem because Lhey are pleasanL Lhlngs Lo belleve and because Lhey are plauslble and savor of Lhe


111


rlgld sub[ecLlon Lo law and order whlch we behold abouL us everywhere

8uL we love Lhe Cld 1ravelers We love Lo hear Lhem praLe and drlvel and lle We can Lell Lhem Lhe
momenL we see Lhem 1hey always Lhrow ouL a few feelers Lhey never casL Lhemselves adrlfL Llll
Lhey have sounded every lndlvldual and know LhaL he has noL Lraveled 1hen Lhey open Lhelr LhroLLle
valves and how Lhey do brag and sneer and swell and soar and blaspheme Lhe sacred name of
1ruLh! 1helr cenLral ldea Lhelr grand alm ls Lo sub[ugaLe you keep you down make you feel
lnslgnlflcanL and humble ln Lhe blaze of Lhelr cosmopollLan glory! 1hey wlll noL leL you know
anyLhlng 1hey sneer aL your mosL lnoffenslve suggesLlons Lhey laugh unfeellngly aL your Lreasured
dreams of forelgn lands Lhey brand Lhe sLaLemenLs of your Lraveled aunLs and uncles as Lhe
sLupldesL absurdlLles Lhey derlde your mosL LrusLed auLhors and demollsh Lhe falr lmages Lhey have
seL up for your wllllng worshlp wlLh Lhe plLlless feroclLy of Lhe fanaLlc lconoclasL! 8uL sLlll l love Lhe
Cld 1ravelers l love Lhem for Lhelr wlLless plaLlLudes for Lhelr supernaLural ablllLy Lo bore for Lhelr
dellghLful aslnlne vanlLy for Lhelr luxurlanL ferLlllLy of lmaglnaLlon for Lhelr sLarLllng Lhelr brllllanL
Lhelr overwhelmlng mendaclLy!

8y Lyons and Lhe Saone (where we saw Lhe lady of Lyons and LhoughL llLLle of her comellness) by
vllla lranca 1onnere venerable Sens Melun lonLalnebleau and scores of oLher beauLlful clLles we
swepL always noLlng Lhe absence of hog


112


wallows broken fences cow loLs unpalnLed houses and mud and always noLlng as well Lhe
presence of cleanllness grace LasLe ln adornlng and beauLlfylng even Lo Lhe dlsposlLlon of a Lree or
Lhe Lurnlng of a hedge Lhe marvel of roads ln perfecL repalr vold of ruLs and gullLless of even an
lnequallLy of surface we bowled along hour afLer hour LhaL brllllanL summer day and as nlghLfall
approached we enLered a wllderness of odorous flowers and shrubbery sped Lhrough lL and Lhen
exclLed dellghLed and half persuaded LhaL we were only Lhe sporL of a beauLlful dream lo we
sLood ln magnlflcenL arls!


WhaL excellenL order Lhey kepL abouL LhaL vasL depoL! 1here was no franLlc crowdlng and [osLllng
no shouLlng and swearlng and no swaggerlng lnLruslon of servlces by rowdy hackmen 1hese laLLer
genLry sLood ouLslde sLood quleLly by Lhelr long llne of vehlcles and sald never a word A klnd of
hackman general seemed Lo have Lhe whole maLLer of LransporLaLlon ln hls hands Pe pollLely
recelved Lhe passengers and ushered Lhem Lo Lhe klnd of conveyance Lhey wanLed and Lold Lhe
drlver where Lo dellver Lhem 1here was no Lalklng back no dlssaLlsfacLlon abouL overcharglng no
grumbllng abouL anyLhlng ln a llLLle whlle we were speedlng Lhrough Lhe sLreeLs of arls and
dellghLfully recognlzlng cerLaln names and places wlLh whlch books had long ago made us famlllar lL
was llke meeLlng an old frlend when we read 8ue de 8lvoll on Lhe sLreeL corner we knew Lhe
genulne vasL palace of Lhe Louvre as well as we knew lLs plcLure when we passed by Lhe Column of
!uly we needed no one Lo Lell us whaL lL was or Lo remlnd us LhaL on lLs slLe once sLood Lhe grlm
8asLllle LhaL grave of human hopes and happlness LhaL dlsmal prlson house wlLhln whose dungeons
so many young faces puL on Lhe wrlnkles of age so many proud splrlLs grew humble so many brave
hearLs broke


We secured rooms aL Lhe hoLel or raLher we had Lhree beds puL lnLo one room so LhaL we mlghL
be LogeLher and Lhen we wenL ouL Lo a resLauranL [usL afLer lampllghLlng and aLe a comforLable
saLlsfacLory llngerlng dlnner lL was a pleasure Lo eaL where everyLhlng was so Lldy Lhe food so well
cooked


113


Lhe walLers so pollLe and Lhe comlng and deparLlng company so mousLached so frlsky so affable
so fearfully and wonderfully lrenchy! All Lhe surroundlngs were gay and enllvenlng 1wo hundred
people saL aL llLLle Lables on Lhe sldewalk slpplng wlne and coffee Lhe sLreeLs were Lhronged wlLh
llghL vehlcles and wlLh [oyous pleasureseekers Lhere was muslc ln Lhe alr llfe and acLlon all abouL
us and a conflagraLlon of gasllghL everywhere!


AfLer dlnner we felL llke seelng such arlslan speclalLles as we mlghL see wlLhouL dlsLresslng
exerLlon and so we saunLered Lhrough Lhe brllllanL sLreeLs and looked aL Lhe dalnLy Lrlfles ln varleLy
sLores and [ewelry shops Cccaslonally merely for Lhe pleasure of belng cruel we puL unoffendlng
lrenchmen on Lhe rack wlLh quesLlons framed ln Lhe lncomprehenslble [argon of Lhelr naLlve
language and whlle Lhey wrlLhed we lmpaled Lhem we peppered Lhem we scarlfled Lhem wlLh
Lhelr own vlle verbs and parLlclples

We noLlced LhaL ln Lhe [ewelry sLores Lhey had some of Lhe arLlcles marked gold and some
labeled lmlLaLlon We wondered aL Lhls exLravagance of honesLy and lnqulred lnLo Lhe maLLer We
were lnformed LhaL lnasmuch as mosL people are noL able Lo Lell false gold from Lhe genulne arLlcle
Lhe governmenL compels [ewelers Lo have Lhelr gold work assayed and sLamped offlclally accordlng
Lo lLs flneness and Lhelr lmlLaLlon work duly labeled wlLh Lhe slgn of lLs falslLy 1hey Lold us Lhe
[ewelers would noL dare Lo vlolaLe Lhls law and LhaL whaLever a sLranger boughL ln one of Lhelr
sLores mlghL be depended upon as belng sLrlcLly whaL lL was represenLed Lo be verlly a wonderful
land ls lrance!

1hen we hunLed for a barbershop lrom earllesL lnfancy lL had been a cherlshed amblLlon of mlne
Lo be shaved some day ln a palaLlal barbershop ln arls l wlshed Lo recllne aL full lengLh ln a
cushloned lnvalld chalr wlLh plcLures abouL me and sumpLuous furnlLure wlLh frescoed walls and
gllded arches above me and vlsLas of CorlnLhlan columns sLreLchlng far before me wlLh perfumes of
Araby Lo lnLoxlcaLe my senses and Lhe slumbrous drone of dlsLanL nolses Lo sooLhe me Lo


114


sleep AL Lhe end of an hour l would wake up regreLfully and flnd my face as smooLh and as sofL as
an lnfanLs ueparLlng l would llfL my hands above LhaL barbers head and say Peaven bless you
my son!

So we searched hlgh and low for a maLLer of Lwo hours buL never a barbershop could we see
We saw only wlgmaklng esLabllshmenLs wlLh shocks of dead and repulslve halr bound upon Lhe
heads of palnLed waxen brlgands who sLared ouL from glass boxes upon Lhe passerby wlLh Lhelr
sLony eyes and scared hlm wlLh Lhe ghosLly whlLe of Lhelr counLenances We shunned Lhese slgns for
a Llme buL flnally we concluded LhaL Lhe wlgmakers musL of necesslLy be Lhe barbers as well slnce
we could flnd no slngle leglLlmaLe represenLaLlve of Lhe fraLernlLy We enLered and asked and found
LhaL lL was even so

l sald l wanLed Lo be shaved 1he barber lnqulred where my room was l sald never mlnd where
my room was l wanLed Lo be shaved Lhere on Lhe spoL 1he docLor sald he would be shaved also
1hen Lhere was an exclLemenL among Lhose Lwo barbers! 1here was a wlld consulLaLlon and
afLerwards a hurrylng Lo and fro and a feverlsh gaLherlng up of razors from obscure places and a
ransacklng for soap nexL Lhey Look us lnLo a llLLle mean shabby back room Lhey goL Lwo ordlnary
slLLlngroom chalrs and placed us ln Lhem wlLh our coaLs on My old old dream of bllss vanlshed lnLo
Lhln alr!

l saL bolL uprlghL sllenL sad and solemn Cne of Lhe wlgmaklng vlllalns laLhered my face for Len
Lerrlble mlnuLes and flnlshed by plasLerlng a mass of suds lnLo my mouLh l expelled Lhe nasLy sLuff
wlLh a sLrong Lngllsh expleLlve and sald lorelgner beware! 1hen Lhls ouLlaw sLrapped hls razor on
hls booL hovered over me omlnously for slx fearful seconds and Lhen swooped down upon me llke
Lhe genlus of desLrucLlon 1he flrsL rake of hls razor loosened Lhe very hlde from my face and llfLed
me ouL of Lhe chalr l sLormed and raved and Lhe oLher boys en[oyed lL 1helr beards are noL sLrong
and Lhlck LeL us draw Lhe curLaln over Lhls harrowlng scene


113


Sufflce lL LhaL l submlLLed and wenL Lhrough wlLh Lhe cruel lnfllcLlon of a shave by a lrench barber
Lears of exqulslLe agony coursed down my cheeks now and Lhen buL l survlved 1hen Lhe lnclplenL
assassln held a basln of waLer under my chln and slopped lLs conLenLs over my face and lnLo my
bosom and down Lhe back of my neck wlLh a mean preLense of washlng away Lhe soap and blood
Pe drled my feaLures wlLh a Lowel and was golng Lo comb my halr buL l asked Lo be excused l sald
wlLh wlLherlng lrony LhaL lL was sufflclenL Lo be sklnned l decllned Lo be scalped


l wenL away from Lhere wlLh my handkerchlef abouL my face and never never never deslred Lo
dream of palaLlal arlslan barbershops anymore 1he LruLh ls as l belleve l have slnce found ouL
LhaL Lhey have no barber shops worLhy of Lhe name ln arls and no barbers elLher for LhaL
maLLer 1he lmposLor who does duLy as a barber brlngs hls pans and


116


napklns and lmplemenLs of LorLure Lo your resldence and dellberaLely sklns you ln your prlvaLe
aparLmenLs Ah l have suffered suffered suffered here ln arls buL never mlnd Lhe Llme ls
comlng when l shall have a dark and bloody revenge Someday a arlslan barber wlll come Lo my
room Lo skln me and from LhaL day forLh LhaL barber wlll never be heard of more

AL eleven oclock we allghLed upon a slgn whlch manlfesLly referred Lo bllllards !oy! We had played
bllllards ln Lhe Azores wlLh balls LhaL were noL round and on an anclenL Lable LhaL was very llLLle
smooLher Lhan a brlck pavemenL one of Lhose wreLched old Lhlngs wlLh dead cushlons and wlLh
paLches ln Lhe faded cloLh and lnvlslble obsLrucLlons LhaL made Lhe balls descrlbe Lhe mosL
asLonlshlng and unsuspecLed angles and perform feaLs ln Lhe way of unlookedfor and almosL
lmposslble scraLches LhaL were perfecLly bewllderlng We had played aL ClbralLar wlLh balls Lhe
slze of a walnuL on a Lable llke a publlc square and ln boLh lnsLances we achleved far more
aggravaLlon Lhan amusemenL We expecLed Lo fare beLLer here buL we were mlsLaken 1he cushlons
were a good deal hlgher Lhan Lhe balls and as Lhe balls had a fashlon of always sLopplng under Lhe
cushlons we accompllshed very llLLle ln Lhe way of caroms 1he cushlons were hard and unelasLlc
and Lhe cues were so crooked LhaL ln maklng a shoL you had Lo allow for Lhe curve or you would
lnfalllbly puL Lhe Lngllsh on Lhe wrong slde of Lhe hall uan was Lo mark whlle Lhe docLor and l
played AL Lhe end of an hour nelLher of us had made a counL and so uan was Llred of keeplng Lally
wlLh noLhlng Lo Lally and we were heaLed and angry and dlsgusLed We pald Lhe heavy blll abouL
slx cenLs and sald we would call around someLlme when we had a week Lo spend and flnlsh Lhe
game

We ad[ourned Lo one of Lhose preLLy cafes and Look supper and LesLed Lhe wlnes of Lhe counLry
as we had been lnsLrucLed Lo do and found Lhem harmless and unexclLlng 1hey mlghL have been
exclLlng however lf we had chosen Lo drlnk a sufflclency of Lhem



117



1o close our flrsL day ln arls cheerfully and pleasanLly we now soughL our grand room ln Lhe
Crand PoLel du Louvre and cllmbed lnLo our sumpLuous bed Lo read and smoke buL alas!


lL was plLlful
ln a whole clLyfull
Cas we had none


no gas Lo read by noLhlng buL dlsmal candles lL was a shame We Lrled Lo map ouL excurslons
for Lhe morrow we puzzled over lrench guldes Lo arls we Lalked dls[olnLedly ln a valn endeavor
Lo make head or Lall of Lhe wlld chaos of Lhe days slghLs and experlences we subslded Lo lndolenL
smoklng we gaped and yawned and sLreLched Lhen feebly wondered lf we were really and Lruly ln
renowned arls and drlfLed drowslly away lnLo LhaL vasL mysLerlous vold whlch men call sleep



121 1hey go on Lhe prlnclple LhaL lL ls beLLer LhaL one lnnocenL man should suffer Lhan flve hundred
noLe 122 page 117 8unnlng header reads CasLly Lxperlence looLnoLe !oke by Lhe uocLor
ChapLer 13
CPA1L8 xlll



118



1PL nexL mornlng we were up and dressed aL Len oclock We wenL Lo Lhe commlsslonalre of Lhe
hoLel l donL know whaL a commlsslonalre ls buL LhaL ls Lhe man we wenL Lo and Lold hlm we
wanLed a gulde Pe sald Lhe naLlonal LxposlLlon had drawn such mulLlLudes of Lngllshmen and
Amerlcans Lo arls LhaL lL would be nexL Lo lmposslble Lo flnd a good gulde unemployed Pe sald he
usually kepL a dozen or Lwo on hand buL he only had Lhree now Pe called Lhem Cne looked so llke
a very plraLe LhaL we leL hlm go aL once 1he nexL one spoke wlLh a slmperlng preclslon of
pronunclaLlon LhaL was lrrlLaLlng and sald

lf ze zhenLlemans wlll Lo me make ze grande honneur Lo me raLLaln ln hees serveece l shall show
Lo hlm every slng zaL ls magnlflque Lo look upon ln ze beauLlful arree l speaky ze Angleesh
palrfalLemaw

Pe would have done well Lo have sLopped Lhere because he had LhaL much by hearL and sald lL
rlghL off wlLhouL maklng a mlsLake 8uL hls selfcomplacency seduced hlm lnLo aLLempLlng a fllghL
lnLo reglons of unexplored Lngllsh and Lhe reckless experlmenL was hls ruln WlLhln Len seconds he
was so Langled up ln a maze of muLllaLed verbs and Lorn and bleedlng forms of speech LhaL no
human lngenulLy could ever have goLLen hlm ouL of lL wlLh credlL lL was plaln enough LhaL he could
noL speaky Lhe Lngllsh qulLe as palrfalLemaw as he had preLended he could

1he Lhlrd man capLured us Pe was plalnly dressed buL he had a noLlceable alr of neaLness abouL
hlm Pe wore a


119


hlgh sllk haL whlch was a llLLle old buL had been carefully brushed Pe wore secondhand kld gloves
ln good repalr and carrled a small raLLan cane wlLh a curved handle a female leg of lvory Pe
sLepped as genLly and as dalnLlly as a caL crosslng a muddy sLreeL and oh he was urbanlLy he was
quleL unobLruslve selfpossesslon he was deference lLself! Pe spoke sofLly and guardedly and when
he was abouL Lo make a sLaLemenL on hls sole responslblllLy or offer a suggesLlon he welghed lL by
drachms and scruples flrsL wlLh Lhe crook of hls llLLle sLlck placed medlLaLlvely Lo hls LeeLh Pls
openlng speech was perfecL lL was perfecL ln consLrucLlon ln phraseology ln grammar ln emphasls
ln pronunclaLlon everyLhlng Pe spoke llLLle and guardedly afLer LhaL We were charmed We were
more Lhan charmed we were over[oyed We hlred hlm aL once We never even asked hlm hls prlce
1hls man our lackey our servanL our unquesLlonlng slave Lhough he was was sLlll a genLleman
we could see LhaL whlle of Lhe oLher Lwo one was coarse and awkward and Lhe oLher was a born
plraLe We asked our man lrldays name Pe drew from hls pockeLbook a snowy llLLle card and
passed lL Lo us wlLh a profound bow





A 8lLLllnCL8
Culde Lo arls lrance Cermany
Spaln c c
Crande PoLel du Louvre



120



8lllflnger! Ch carry me home Lo dle!

1haL was an aslde from uan 1he aLroclous name graLed harshly on my ear Loo 1he mosL of us
can learn Lo forglve and even Lo llke a counLenance LhaL sLrlkes us unpleasanLly aL flrsL buL few of
us l fancy become reconclled Lo a [arrlng name so easlly l was almosL sorry we had hlred Lhls man
hls name was so unbearable Powever no maLLer We were lmpaLlenL Lo sLarL 8lllflnger sLepped Lo
Lhe door Lo call a carrlage and Lhen Lhe docLor sald

Well Lhe gulde goes wlLh Lhe barbershop wlLh Lhe bllllardLable wlLh Lhe gasless room and may
be wlLh many anoLher preLLy romance of arls l expecLed Lo have a gulde named Penrl de
MonLmorency or Armand de la CharLreuse or someLhlng LhaL would sound grand ln leLLers Lo Lhe
vlllagers aL home buL Lo Lhlnk of a lrenchman by Lhe name of 8lllflnger! Ch! 1hls ls absurd you
know 1hls wlll never do We canL say 8lllflnger lL ls nauseaLlng name hlm over agaln whaL had we
beLLer call hlm? Alexls du CaulalncourL?

Alphonse Penrl CusLave de PauLevllle l suggesLed

Call hlm lerguson sald uan

1haL was pracLlcal unromanLlc good sense WlLhouL debaLe we expunged 8lllflnger as 8lllflnger
and called hlm lerguson

1he carrlage an open barouche was ready lerguson mounLed beslde Lhe drlver and we
whlrled away Lo breakfasL As was proper Mr lerguson sLood by Lo LransmlL our orders and answer
quesLlons 8y and by he menLloned casually Lhe arLful advenLurer LhaL he would go and geL hls
breakfasL as soon as we had flnlshed ours Pe knew we could noL geL along wlLhouL hlm and LhaL we
would noL wanL Lo lolLer abouL and walL for hlm We asked hlm Lo slL down and eaL wlLh us Pe
begged wlLh many a bow Lo be excused lL was noL proper he sald he would slL aL anoLher Lable
We ordered hlm perempLorlly Lo slL down wlLh us

Pere endeLh Lhe flrsL lesson lL was a mlsLake

As long as we had LhaL fellow afLer LhaL he was always


121


hungry he was always LhlrsLy Pe came early he sLayed laLe he could noL pass a resLauranL he
looked wlLh a lecherous eye upon every wlneshop SuggesLlons Lo sLop excuses Lo eaL and Lo drlnk
were forever on hls llps We Lrled all we could Lo flll hlm so full LhaL he would have no room Lo spare
for a forLnlghL buL lL was a fallure Pe dld noL hold enough Lo smoLher Lhe cravlngs of hls
superhuman appeLlLe


Pe had anoLher dlscrepancy abouL hlm Pe was always wanLlng us Lo buy Lhlngs Cn Lhe
shallowesL preLenses he would lnvelgle us lnLo shlrL sLores booL sLores Lallor shops glove shops
anywhere under Lhe broad sweep of Lhe heavens LhaL Lhere seemed a chance of our buylng
anyLhlng Anyone could have guessed LhaL Lhe shopkeepers pald hlm a percenLage on Lhe sales buL
ln our blessed lnnocence we dldnL unLll Lhls feaLure of hls conducL grew unbearably promlnenL Cne
day uan happened Lo menLlon LhaL he LhoughL of buylng Lhree or four sllk dress paLLerns for
presenLs lergusons hungry eye was upon hlm ln an lnsLanL ln Lhe course of LwenLy mlnuLes Lhe
carrlage sLopped

WhaLs Lhls?

Zls ls ze flnesL sllk magazln ln arls ze mosL celebraLe

WhaL dld you come here for? We Lold you Lo Lake us Lo Lhe palace of Lhe Louvre

l suppose ze genLleman say he wlsh Lo buy some sllk

?ou are noL requlred Lo suppose Lhlngs for Lhe parLy lerguson We do noL wlsh Lo Lax your
energles Loo much We wlll bear some of Lhe burden and heaL of Lhe day ourselves We wlll
endeavor Lo do such supposlng as ls really necessary Lo be done urlve on So spake Lhe docLor

WlLhln flfLeen mlnuLes Lhe carrlage halLed agaln and before anoLher sllk sLore 1he docLor sald

Ah Lhe palace of Lhe Louvre beauLlful beauLlful edlflce! uoes Lhe Lmperor napoleon llve here
now lerguson?

Ah uocLor! ?ou do [esL zls ls noL ze palace we come Lhere dlrecLly 8uL slnce we pass rlghL by zls
sLore where ls such beauLlful sllk




122


Ah! l see l see l meanL Lo have Lold you LhaL we dld noL wlsh Lo purchase any sllks Loday buL ln
my absenLmlndedness l forgoL lL l also meanL Lo Lell you we wlshed Lo go dlrecLly Lo Lhe Louvre buL
l forgoL LhaL also Powever we wlll go Lhere now ardon my seemlng carelessness lerguson urlve
on


WlLhln Lhe half hour we sLopped agaln ln fronL of anoLher sllk sLore We were angry buL Lhe
docLor was always serene always smooLhvolced Pe sald

AL lasL! Pow lmposlng Lhe Louvre ls and yeL how small! Pow exqulslLely fashloned! Pow
charmlngly slLuaLed! venerable venerable plle

alrdon uocLor zls ls noL ze Louvre lL ls

WhaL ls lL?

l have ze ldea lL come Lo me ln a momenL zaL ze sllk ln zls magazln

lerguson how heedless l am l fully lnLended Lo Lell you


123


LhaL we dld noL wlsh Lo buy any sllks Loday and l also lnLended Lo Lell you LhaL we yearned Lo go
lmmedlaLely Lo Lhe palace of Lhe Louvre buL en[oylng Lhe happlness of seelng you devour four
breakfasLs Lhls mornlng has so fllled me wlLh pleasurable emoLlons LhaL l neglecL Lhe commonesL
lnLeresLs of Lhe Llme Powever we wlll proceed now Lo Lhe Louvre lerguson

8uL docLor (exclLedly) lL wlll Lake noL a mlnuLe noL buL one small mlnuLe! Ze genLleman
need noL Lo buy lf he noL wlsh Lo buL only look aL ze sllk look aL ze beauLlful fabrlc 1hen
pleadlngly Salr [usL only one leeLle momenL!

uan sald Confound Lhe ldloL! l donL wanL Lo see any sllks Loday and l wonL look aL Lhem urlve
on

And Lhe docLor We need no sllks now lerguson Cur hearLs yearn for Lhe Louvre LeL us [ourney
on leL us [ourney on

8uL docLor! lL ls only one momenL one leeLle momenL And ze Llme wlll be save enLlrely save!
8ecause zere ls noLhlng Lo see now lL ls Loo laLe lL wanL Len mlnuLe Lo four and ze Louvre close aL
four only one leeLle momenL uocLor!

1he Lreacherous mlscreanL! AfLer four breakfasLs and a gallon of champagne Lo serve us such a
scurvy Lrlck We goL no slghL of Lhe counLless Lreasures of arL ln Lhe Louvre gallerles LhaL day and
our only poor llLLle saLlsfacLlon was ln Lhe reflecLlon LhaL lerguson sold noL a sollLary sllk dress
paLLern

l am wrlLlng Lhls chapLer parLly for Lhe saLlsfacLlon of abuslng LhaL accompllshed knave 8lllflnger
and parLly Lo show whosoever shall read Lhls how Amerlcans fare aL Lhe hands of Lhe arls guldes
and whaL sorL of people arls guldes are lL need noL be supposed LhaL we were a sLuplder or an
easler prey Lhan our counLrymen generally are for we were noL 1he guldes decelve and defraud
every Amerlcan who goes Lo arls for Lhe flrsL Llme and sees lLs slghLs alone or ln company wlLh
oLhers as llLLle experlenced as hlmself l shall vlslL


124


arls agaln someday and Lhen leL Lhe guldes beware! l shall go ln my war palnL l shall carry my
Lomahawk along


l Lhlnk we have losL buL llLLle Llme ln arls We have gone Lo bed every nlghL Llred ouL Cf course
we vlslLed Lhe renowned lnLernaLlonal LxposlLlon All Lhe world dld LhaL We wenL Lhere on our Lhlrd
day ln arls and we sLayed Lhere nearly Lwo hours 1haL was our flrsL and lasL vlslL 1o Lell Lhe
LruLh we saw aL a glance LhaL one would have Lo spend weeks yea even monLhs ln LhaL
monsLrous esLabllshmenL Lo geL an lnLelllglble ldea of lL lL was a wonderful show buL Lhe movlng
masses of people of all naLlons we saw Lhere were a sLlll more wonderful show l dlscovered LhaL lf l
were Lo sLay Lhere a monLh l should sLlll flnd myself looklng aL Lhe people lnsLead of Lhe lnanlmaLe
ob[ecLs on exhlblLlon l goL a llLLle lnLeresLed ln some curlous old LapesLrles of Lhe LhlrLeenLh cenLury
buL a parLy of Arabs came by and Lhelr dusky faces and qualnL cosLumes called my aLLenLlon away aL
once l waLched a sllver swan whlch had a llvlng grace abouL hls movemenLs and a llvlng lnLelllgence
ln hls eyes waLched hlm swlmmlng abouL as comforLably and as unconcernedly as lf he had been
born ln a morass lnsLead of a [ewelers shop waLched hlm selze a sllver flsh from under Lhe waLer
and hold up hls head and go Lhrough all Lhe cusLomary and elaboraLe moLlons of swallowlng lL buL
Lhe momenL lL dlsappeared down hls LhroaL some LaLLooed SouLh Sea lslanders approached and l
ylelded Lo Lhelr aLLracLlons


123


resenLly l found a revolvlng plsLol several hundred years old whlch looked sLrangely llke a modern
ColL buL [usL Lhen l heard LhaL Lhe Lmpress of Lhe lrench was ln anoLher parL of Lhe bulldlng and
hasLened away Lo see whaL she mlghL look llke We heard marLlal muslc we saw an unusual
number of soldlers walklng hurrledly abouL Lhere was a general movemenL among Lhe people We
lnqulred whaL lL was all abouL and learned LhaL Lhe Lmperor of Lhe lrench and Lhe SulLan of 1urkey
were abouL Lo revlew LwenLyflve Lhousand Lroops aL Lhe Arc de lLLolle We lmmedlaLely deparLed l
had a greaLer anxleLy Lo see Lhese men Lhan l could have had Lo see LwenLy exposlLlons


We drove away and Look up a poslLlon ln an open space opposlLe Lhe Amerlcan mlnlsLers house A
speculaLor brldged a couple of barrels wlLh a board and we hlred sLandlng places on lL resenLly
Lhere was a sound of dlsLanL muslc ln anoLher mlnuLe a plllar of dusL came movlng slowly Loward us
a momenL more and Lhen wlLh colors flylng and a grand crash of mlllLary muslc a gallanL array of
cavalrymen emerged from Lhe dusL and came down Lhe sLreeL on a genLle LroL AfLer Lhem came a
long llne of arLlllery Lhen more cavalry ln splendld unlforms and Lhen Lhelr lmperlal ma[esLles
napoleon lll and Abdul Azlz 1he vasL concourse of people swung Lhelr haLs and shouLed Lhe
wlndows and houseLops ln Lhe wlde vlclnlLy bursL lnLo a snowsLorm of wavlng handkerchlefs and
Lhe wavers of Lhe same mlngled Lhelr cheers wlLh Lhose of Lhe masses below lL was a sLlrrlng
specLacle

8uL Lhe Lwo cenLral flgures clalmed all my aLLenLlon Was ever such a conLrasL seL up before a
mulLlLude Llll Lhen? napoleon ln mlllLary unlform a longbodled shorLlegged man flercely
mousLached old wrlnkled wlLh eyes half closed and such a deep crafLy schemlng expresslon
abouL Lhem! napoleon bowlng ever so genLly Lo Lhe loud plaudlLs and waLchlng everyLhlng and
everybody wlLh hls caL eyes from under hls depressed haL brlm as lf Lo dlscover any slgn LhaL Lhose
cheers were noL hearLfelL and cordlal


126



Abdul Azlz absoluLe lord of Lhe CLLoman emplre clad ln dark green Luropean cloLhes almosL
wlLhouL ornamenL or lnslgnla of rank a red 1urklsh fez on hls head a shorL sLouL dark man black
bearded blackeyed sLupld unprepossesslng a man whose whole appearance somehow
suggesLed LhaL lf he only had a cleaver ln hls hand and a whlLe apron on one would noL be aL all
surprlsed Lo hear hlm say A muLLon roasL Loday or wlll you have a nlce porLerhouse sLeak?

napoleon lll Lhe represenLaLlve of Lhe hlghesL modern clvlllzaLlon progress and reflnemenL
AbdulAzlz Lhe represenLaLlve of a people by naLure and Lralnlng fllLhy bruLlsh lgnoranL
unprogresslve supersLlLlous and a governmenL whose 1hree Craces are 1yranny 8apaclLy 8lood
Pere ln brllllanL arls under


127


Lhls ma[esLlc Arch of 1rlumph Lhe llrsL CenLury greeLs Lhe nlneLeenLh!


nACLLCn lll Lmperor of lrance! Surrounded by shouLlng Lhousands by mlllLary pomp by Lhe
splendors of hls caplLal clLy and companloned by klngs and prlnces Lhls ls Lhe man who was
sneered aL and revlled and called 8asLard yeL who was dreamlng of a crown and an emplre all Lhe
whlle who was drlven lnLo exlle buL carrled hls dreams wlLh hlm who assoclaLed wlLh Lhe
common herd ln Amerlca and ran fooL races for a wager buL sLlll saL upon a Lhrone ln fancy who
braved every danger Lo go Lo hls dylng moLher and grleved LhaL she could noL be spared Lo see hlm
casL aslde hls plebelan vesLmenLs for Lhe purple of royalLy who kepL hls falLhful waLch and walked
hls weary beaL a common pollceman of London buL dreamed Lhe whlle of a comlng nlghL when he
should Lread Lhe longdrawn corrldors of Lhe 1ullerles who made Lhe mlserable flasco of SLrasbourg
saw hls poor shabby eagle forgeLful of lLs lesson refuse Lo perch upon hls shoulder dellvered hls
carefully prepared senLenLlous bursL of eloquence upon unsympaLheLlc ears found hlmself a
prlsoner Lhe buLL of small wlLs a mark for Lhe plLlless rldlcule of all Lhe world yeL wenL on
dreamlng of coronaLlons and splendld pageanLs as before who lay a forgoLLen capLlve ln Lhe
dungeons of Pam and sLlll schemed and planned and pondered over fuLure glory and fuLure
power resldenL of lrance aL lasL! a coup deLaL and surrounded by applaudlng armles welcomed
by Lhe Lhunders of cannon he mounLs a Lhrone and waves before an asLounded world Lhe scepLre of
a mlghLy emplre! Who Lalks of Lhe marvels of flcLlon? Who speaks of Lhe wonders of romance? Who
praLes of Lhe Lame achlevemenLs of Aladdln and Lhe Magll of Arabla?

A8uuLAZlZ SulLan of 1urkey Lord of Lhe CLLoman Lmplre! 8orn Lo a Lhrone weak sLupld
lgnoranL almosL as hls meanesL slave chlef of a vasL royalLy yeL Lhe puppeL of hls remler and Lhe
obedlenL chlld of a Lyrannlcal moLher a man who slLs upon a Lhrone Lhe beck of whose flnger
moves


128


navles and armles who holds ln hls hands Lhe power of llfe and deaLh over mllllons yeL who
sleeps sleeps eaLs eaLs ldles wlLh hls elghL hundred concublnes and when he ls surfelLed wlLh
eaLlng and sleeplng and ldllng and would rouse up and Lake Lhe relns of governmenL and LhreaLen
Lo be a sulLan ls charmed from hls purpose by wary luad acha wlLh a preLLy plan for a new palace
or a new shlp charmed away wlLh a new Loy llke any oLher resLless chlld a man who sees hls
people robbed and oppressed by soulless LaxgaLherers buL speaks no word Lo save Lhem who
belleves ln gnomes and genll and Lhe wlld fables of 1he Arablan nlghLs buL has small regard for Lhe
mlghLy maglclans of Loday and ls nervous ln Lhe presence of Lhelr mysLerlous rallroads and
sLeamboaLs and Lelegraphs who would see undone ln LgypL all LhaL greaL MehemeL All achleved
and would prefer raLher Lo forgeL Lhan emulaLe hlm a man who found hls greaL emplre a bloL upon
Lhe earLh a degraded poverLysLrlcken mlserable lnfamous agglomeraLlon of lgnorance crlme
and bruLallLy and wlll ldle away Lhe alloLLed days of hls Lrlvlal llfe and Lhen pass Lo Lhe dusL and Lhe
worms and leave lL so!


napoleon has augmenLed Lhe commerclal prosperlLy of lrance ln Len years Lo such a degree LhaL
flgures can hardly compuLe lL Pe has rebullL arls and has parLly rebullL every clLy ln Lhe sLaLe Pe
condemns a whole sLreeL aL a Llme assesses Lhe damages pays Lhem and rebullds superbly 1hen
speculaLors buy up Lhe ground and sell buL Lhe orlglnal owner ls glven Lhe flrsL cholce by Lhe
governmenL aL a sLaLed prlce before Lhe speculaLor ls permlLLed Lo purchase 8uL above all Lhlngs he
has Laken Lhe sole conLrol of Lhe emplre of lrance lnLo hls hands and made lL a Lolerably free land
for people who wlll noL aLLempL Lo go Loo far ln meddllng wlLh governmenL affalrs no counLry offers
greaLer securlLy Lo llfe and properLy Lhan lrance and one has all Lhe freedom he wanLs buL no
llcense no llcense Lo lnLerfere wlLh anybody or make anyone uncomforLable

As for Lhe SulLan one could seL a Lrap any where and caLch a dozen abler men ln a nlghL


129



1he bands sLruck up and Lhe brllllanL advenLurer napoleon lll Lhe genlus of Lnergy erslsLence
LnLerprlse and Lhe feeble AbdulAzlz Lhe genlus of lgnorance 8lgoLry and lndolence prepared for
Lhe lorward March!

We saw Lhe splendld revlew we saw Lhe whlLemousLached old Crlmean soldler CanroberL
Marshal of lrance we saw well we saw every Lhlng and Lhen we wenL home saLlsfled
ChapLer 14
CPA1L8 xlv



130



WL wenL Lo see Lhe CaLhedral of noLre uame We had heard of lL before lL surprlses me
someLlmes Lo Lhlnk how much we do know and how lnLelllgenL we are We recognlzed Lhe brown
old CoLhlc plle ln a momenL lL was llke Lhe plcLures We sLood aL a llLLle dlsLance and changed from
one polnL of observaLlon Lo anoLher and gazed long aL lLs lofLy square Lowers and lLs rlch fronL
clusLered Lhlck wlLh sLony muLllaLed salnLs who had been looklng calmly down from Lhelr perches
for ages 1he aLrlarch of !erusalem sLood under Lhem ln Lhe old days of chlvalry and romance and
preached Lhe Lhlrd Crusade more Lhan slx hundred years ago and slnce LhaL day Lhey have sLood
Lhere and looked quleLly down upon Lhe mosL Lhrllllng scenes Lhe grandesL pageanLs Lhe mosL
exLraordlnary specLacles LhaL have grleved or dellghLed arls 1hese baLLered and brokennosed old
fellows saw many and many a cavalcade of mallclad knlghLs come marchlng home from Poly Land
Lhey heard Lhe bells above Lhem Loll Lhe slgnal for Lhe SL 8arLholomews Massacre and Lhey saw Lhe
slaughLer LhaL followed laLer Lhey saw Lhe 8elgn of 1error Lhe carnage of Lhe 8evoluLlon Lhe
overLhrow of a klng Lhe coronaLlon of Lwo napoleons Lhe chrlsLenlng of Lhe young prlnce LhaL lords
lL over a reglmenL of servanLs ln Lhe 1ullerles Loday and Lhey may posslbly conLlnue Lo sLand Lhere
unLll Lhey see Lhe napoleon dynasLy swepL away and Lhe banners of a greaL republlc floaLlng above
lLs rulns l wlsh Lhese old parLles could speak 1hey could Lell a Lale worLh Lhe llsLenlng Lo

1hey say LhaL a pagan Lemple sLood where noLre uame now


131


sLands ln Lhe old 8oman days elghLeen or LwenLy cenLurles ago remalns of lL are sLlll preserved ln
arls and LhaL a ChrlsLlan church Look lLs place abouL Au 300 anoLher Look Lhe place of LhaL ln Au
300 and LhaL Lhe foundaLlons of Lhe presenL caLhedral were lald abouL Au 1100 1he ground oughL
Lo be measurably sacred by Lhls Llme one would Lhlnk Cne porLlon of Lhls noble old edlflce ls
suggesLlve of Lhe qualnL fashlons of anclenL Llmes lL was bullL by !ean Sanseur uuke of 8urgundy
Lo seL hls consclence aL resL he had assasslnaLed Lhe uuke of Crleans Alas! 1hose good old Llmes
are gone when a murderer could wlpe Lhe sLaln from hls name and sooLhe hls Lroubles Lo sleep
slmply by geLLlng ouL hls brlcks and morLar and bulldlng an addlLlon Lo a church


1he porLals of Lhe greaL wesLern fronL are blsecLed by square plllars 1hey Look Lhe cenLral one
away ln 1832 on Lhe occaslon of Lhanksglvlngs for Lhe relnsLlLuLlon of Lhe presldenLlal power buL
preclous soon Lhey had occaslon Lo reconslder LhaL moLlon and puL lL back agaln! And Lhey dld

We lolLered Lhrough Lhe grand alsles for an hour or Lwo sLarlng up aL Lhe rlch sLalnedglass
wlndows embelllshed wlLh blue and yellow and crlmson salnLs and marLyrs and Lrylng Lo admlre Lhe
numberless greaL plcLures ln Lhe chapels and Lhen we were admlLLed Lo Lhe sacrlsLy and shown Lhe
magnlflcenL robes whlch Lhe ope wore when he crowned napoleon l a wagonload of solld gold
and sllver uLenslls used ln Lhe greaL publlc processlons and ceremonles of Lhe church some nalls of
Lhe Lrue cross a fragmenL of Lhe cross lLself a parL of Lhe crown of Lhorns We had already seen a
large plece of Lhe Lrue cross ln a church ln Lhe Azores buL no nalls 1hey showed us llkewlse Lhe
bloody robe whlch LhaL archblshop of arls wore who exposed hls sacred person and braved Lhe
wraLh of Lhe lnsurgenLs of 1848 Lo mounL Lhe barrlcades and hold alofL Lhe ollve branch of peace ln
Lhe hope of sLopplng Lhe slaughLer Pls noble efforL cosL hlm hls llfe Pe was shoL dead 1hey showed
us a casL of hls face Laken afLer deaLh Lhe bulleL LhaL kllled hlm and Lhe Lwo verLebrae ln whlch lL
lodged 1hese people have a somewhaL slngular


132


LasLe ln Lhe maLLer of rellcs lerguson Lold us LhaL Lhe sllver cross whlch Lhe good archblshop wore
aL hls glrdle was selzed and Lhrown lnLo Lhe Selne where lL lay embedded ln Lhe mud for flfLeen
years and Lhen an angel appeared Lo a prlesL and Lold hlm where Lo dlve for lL he dld dlve for lL and
goL lL and now lL ls Lhere on exhlblLlon aL noLre uame Lo be lnspecLed by anybody who feels an
lnLeresL ln lnanlmaLe ob[ecLs of mlraculous lnLervenLlon


nexL we wenL Lo vlslL Lhe Morgue LhaL horrlble recepLacle for Lhe dead who dle mysLerlously and
leave Lhe manner of Lhelr Laklng off a dlsmal secreL We sLood before a graLlng and looked Lhrough
lnLo a room whlch was hung all abouL wlLh Lhe cloLhlng of dead men coarse blouses waLersoaked
Lhe dellcaLe garmenLs of women and chlldren paLrlclan vesLmenLs


133


hacked and sLabbed and sLalned wlLh red a haL LhaL was crushed and bloody Cn a slanLlng sLone
lay a drowned man naked swollen purple clasplng Lhe fragmenL of a broken bush wlLh a grlp
whlch deaLh had so peLrlfled LhaL human sLrengLh could noL unloose lL muLe wlLness of Lhe lasL
despalrlng efforL Lo save Lhe llfe LhaL was doomed beyond all help A sLream of waLer Lrlckled
ceaselessly over Lhe hldeous face We knew LhaL Lhe body and Lhe cloLhlng were Lhere for
ldenLlflcaLlon by frlends buL sLlll we wondered lf anybody could love LhaL repulslve ob[ecL or grleve
for lLs loss We grew medlLaLlve and wondered lf some forLy years ago when Lhe moLher of LhaL
ghasLly Lhlng was dandllng lL upon her knee and klsslng lL and peLLlng lL and dlsplaylng lL wlLh
saLlsfled prlde Lo Lhe passersby a propheLlc vlslon of Lhls dread endlng ever fllLLed Lhrough her
braln l half feared LhaL Lhe moLher or Lhe wlfe or a broLher of Lhe dead man mlghL come whlle we
sLood Lhere buL noLhlng of Lhe klnd occurred Men and women came and some looked eagerly ln
and pressed Lhelr faces agalnsL Lhe bars oLhers glanced carelessly aL Lhe body and Lurned away wlLh
a dlsappolnLed look people l LhoughL who llve upon sLrong exclLemenLs and who aLLend Lhe
exhlblLlons of Lhe Morgue regularly [usL as oLher people go Lo see LheaLrlcal specLacles every nlghL
When one of Lhese looked ln and passed on l could noL help Lhlnklng

now Lhls donL afford you any saLlsfacLlon a parLy wlLh hls head shoL off ls whaL you need

Cne nlghL we wenL Lo Lhe celebraLed !ardln Mabllle buL only sLald a llLLle whlle We wanLed Lo see
some of Lhls klnd of arls llfe however and Lherefore Lhe nexL nlghL we wenL Lo a slmllar place of
enLerLalnmenL ln a greaL garden ln Lhe suburb of Asnleres We wenL Lo Lhe rallroad depoL Loward
evenlng and lerguson goL LlckeLs for a secondclass carrlage Such a perfecL [am of people l have noL
ofLen seen buL Lhere was no nolse no dlsorder no rowdylsm Some of Lhe women and young glrls
LhaL enLered Lhe Lraln we knew Lo be of Lhe demlmonde buL oLhers we were noL aL all sure abouL

1he glrls and women ln our carrlage behaved Lhemselves


134


modesLly and becomlngly all Lhe way ouL excepL LhaL Lhey smoked When we arrlved aL Lhe garden
ln Asnleres we pald a franc or Lwo admlsslon and enLered a place whlch had flower beds ln lL and
grass ploLs and long curvlng rows of ornamenLal shrubbery wlLh here and Lhere a secluded bower
convenlenL for eaLlng lce cream ln We moved along Lhe slnuous gravel walks wlLh Lhe greaL
concourse of glrls and young men and suddenly a domed and flllgreed whlLe Lemple sLarred over
and over and over agaln wlLh brllllanL gas [eLs bursL upon us llke a fallen sun nearby was a large
handsome house wlLh lLs ample fronL lllumlnaLed ln Lhe same way and above lLs roof floaLed Lhe
SLarSpangled 8anner of Amerlca


Well! l sald Pow ls Lhls? lL nearly Look my breaLh away

lerguson sald an Amerlcan a new ?orker kepL Lhe place and was carrylng on qulLe a sLlrrlng
opposlLlon Lo Lhe !ardln Mabllle

Crowds composed of boLh sexes and nearly all ages were frlsklng abouL Lhe garden or slLLlng ln Lhe
open alr ln fronL of Lhe flagsLaff and Lhe Lemple drlnklng wlne and coffee or smoklng 1he danclng
had noL begun yeL lerguson sald Lhere was Lo be an exhlblLlon 1he famous 8londln was golng Lo
perform on a LlghLrope ln anoLher parL of Lhe garden We wenL LhlLher Pere Lhe llghL was dlm and
Lhe masses of people were preLLy closely packed LogeLher And now l made a mlsLake whlch any
donkey mlghL make buL a senslble man never l commlLLed an error whlch l flnd myself repeaLlng
every day of my llfe SLandlng rlghL before a young lady l sald

uan [usL look aL Lhls glrl how beauLlful she ls!

l Lhank you more for Lhe evldenL slncerlLy of Lhe compllmenL slr Lhan for Lhe exLraordlnary
publlclLy you have glven Lo lL! 1hls ln good pure Lngllsh

We Look a walk buL my splrlLs were very very sadly dampened l dld noL feel rlghL comforLable for
some Llme afLerward Why wlll people be so sLupld as Lo suppose Lhemselves Lhe only forelgners
among a crowd of Len Lhousand persons?


133



8uL 8londln came ouL shorLly Pe appeared on a sLreLched cable far away above Lhe sea of Losslng
haLs and handkerchlefs and ln Lhe glare of Lhe hundreds of rockeLs LhaL whlzzed heavenward by hlm
he looked llke a wee lnsecL Pe balanced hls pole and walked Lhe lengLh of hls rope Lwo or Lhree
hundred feeL he came back and goL a man and carrled hlm across he reLurned Lo Lhe cenLer and
danced a [lg nexL he performed some gymnasLlc and balanclng feaLs Loo perllous Lo afford a
pleasanL specLacle and he flnlshed by fasLenlng Lo hls person a Lhousand 8oman candles CaLherlne
wheels serpenLs and rockeLs of all manner of brllllanL colors seLLlng Lhem on flre all aL once and
walklng and walLzlng across hls rope agaln ln a bllndlng blaze of glory LhaL llL up Lhe garden and Lhe
peoples faces llke a greaL conflagraLlon aL mldnlghL

1he dance had begun and we ad[ourned Lo Lhe Lemple WlLhln lL was a drlnklng saloon and all
around lL was a


136


broad clrcular plaLform for Lhe dancers l backed up agalnsL Lhe wall of Lhe Lemple and walLed
1wenLy seLs formed Lhe muslc sLruck up and Lhen l placed my hands before my face for very
shame 8uL l looked Lhrough my flngers 1hey were danclng Lhe renowned Cancan A handsome
glrl ln Lhe seL before me Lrlpped forward llghLly Lo meeL Lhe opposlLe genLleman Lrlpped back agaln
grasped her dresses vlgorously on boLh sldes wlLh her hands ralsed Lhem preLLy hlgh danced an
exLraordlnary [lg LhaL had more acLlvlLy and exposure abouL lL Lhan any [lg l ever saw before and
Lhen drawlng her cloLhes sLlll hlgher she advanced gally Lo Lhe cenLer and launched a vlclous klck
full aL her vlsavls LhaL musL lnfalllbly have removed hls nose lf he had been seven feeL hlgh lL was a
mercy he was only slx


1haL ls Lhe cancan 1he ldea of lL ls Lo dance as wlldly as nolslly as furlously as you can expose
yourself as much as posslble lf you are a woman and klck as hlgh as you can no maLLer whlch sex
you belong Lo 1here ls no word of exaggeraLlon ln Lhls Any of Lhe sLald respecLable aged people
who were Lhere LhaL nlghL can LesLlfy Lo Lhe LruLh of LhaL sLaLemenL 1here were a good many such
people presenL l suppose lrench morallLy ls noL of LhaL sLralghLlaced descrlpLlon whlch ls shocked
aL Lrlfles

l moved aslde and Look a general vlew of Lhe cancan ShouLs laughLer furlous muslc a
bewllderlng chaos of darLlng and lnLermlngllng forms sLormy [erklng and snaLchlng of gay dresses
bobblng beads flylng arms llghLnlng flashes of whlLesLocklnged


137


calves and dalnLy sllppers ln Lhe alr and Lhen a grand flnal rush rloL a Lerrlflc hubbub and a wlld
sLampede! Peavens! noLhlng llke lL has been seen on earLh slnce Lrembllng 1am CShanLer saw Lhe
devll and Lhe wlLches aL Lhelr orgles LhaL sLormy nlghL ln Alloways auld haunLed klrk

We vlslLed Lhe Louvre aL a Llme when we had no sllk purchases ln vlew and looked aL lLs mlles of
palnLlngs by Lhe old masLers Some of Lhem were beauLlful buL aL Lhe same Llme Lhey carrled such
evldences abouL Lhem of Lhe crlnglng splrlL of Lhose greaL men LhaL we found small pleasure ln
examlnlng Lhem 1helr nauseous adulaLlon of prlncely paLrons was more promlnenL Lo me and
chalned my aLLenLlon more surely Lhan Lhe charms of color and expresslon whlch are clalmed Lo be
ln Lhe plcLures CraLlLude for klndnesses ls well buL lL seems Lo me LhaL some of Lhose arLlsLs carrled
lL so far LhaL lL ceased Lo be graLlLude and became worshlp lf Lhere ls a plauslble excuse for Lhe
worshlp of men Lhen by all means leL us forglve 8ubens and hls breLhren

8uL l wlll drop Lhe sub[ecL lesL l say someLhlng abouL Lhe old masLers LhaL mlghL as well be lefL
unsald

Cf course we drove ln Lhe 8ols de 8oulogne LhaL llmlLless park wlLh lLs foresLs lLs lakes lLs
cascades and lLs broad avenues 1here were Lhousands upon Lhousands of vehlcles abroad and Lhe
scene was full of llfe and galeLy 1here were very common hacks wlLh faLher and moLher and all Lhe
chlldren ln Lhem consplcuous llLLle open carrlages wlLh celebraLed ladles of quesLlonable repuLaLlon
ln Lhem Lhere were uukes and uuchesses abroad wlLh gorgeous fooLmen perched behlnd and
equally gorgeous ouLrlders perched on each of Lhe slx horses Lhere were blue and sllver and green
and gold and plnk and black and all sorLs and descrlpLlons of sLunnlng and sLarLllng llverles ouL and
l almosL yearned Lo be a flunkey myself for Lhe sake of Lhe flne cloLhes

8uL presenLly Lhe Lmperor came along and he ouLshone Lhem all Pe was preceded by a
bodyguard of genLlemen on horseback ln showy unlforms hls carrlagehorses (Lhere appeared


138


Lo be somewhere ln Lhe remoLe nelghborhood of a Lhousand of Lhem) were besLrldden by gallanL
looklng fellows also ln sLyllsh unlforms and afLer Lhe carrlage followed anoLher deLachmenL of
bodyguards Lverybody goL ouL of Lhe way everybody bowed Lo Lhe Lmperor and hls frlend Lhe
SulLan and Lhey wenL by on a swlnglng LroL and dlsappeared


l wlll noL descrlbe Lhe 8ols de 8oulogne l can noL do lL lL ls slmply a beauLlful culLlvaLed endless
wonderful wllderness lL ls an enchanLlng place lL ls ln arls now one may say buL a crumbllng old
cross ln one porLlon of lL remlnds one LhaL lL was noL always so 1he cross marks Lhe spoL where a
celebraLed Lroubadour was waylald and murdered ln Lhe fourLeenLh cenLury lL was ln Lhls park LhaL
LhaL fellow wlLh an unpronounceable name made Lhe aLLempL upon Lhe 8usslan Czars llfe lasL sprlng
wlLh a plsLol 1he bulleL sLruck a Lree lerguson showed us Lhe place now ln Amerlca LhaL lnLeresLlng
Lree would be chopped down or forgoLLen wlLhln Lhe nexL flve years buL lL wlll be Lreasured here
1he guldes wlll polnL lL ouL Lo vlslLors for Lhe nexL elghL hundred years and when lL decays and falls
down Lhey wlll puL up anoLher Lhere and go on wlLh Lhe same old sLory [usL Lhe same
ChapLer 13
CPA1L8 xv



139



CnL of our pleasanLesL vlslLs was Lo ere la Chalse Lhe naLlonal burylngground of lrance Lhe
honored resLlngplace of some of her greaLesL and besL chlldren Lhe lasL home of scores of
lllusLrlous men and women who were born Lo no LlLles buL achleved fame by Lhelr own energy and
Lhelr own genlus lL ls a solemn clLy of wlndlng sLreeLs and of mlnlaLure marble Lemples and
manslons of Lhe dead gleamlng whlLe from ouL a wllderness of follage and fresh flowers noL every
clLy ls so well peopled as Lhls or has so ample an area wlLhln lLs walls lew palaces exlsL ln any clLy
LhaL are so exqulslLe ln deslgn so rlch ln arL so cosLly ln maLerlal so graceful so beauLlful

We had sLood ln Lhe anclenL church of SL uenls where Lhe marble efflgles of LhlrLy generaLlons of
klngs and queens lay sLreLched aL lengLh upon Lhe Lombs and Lhe sensaLlons lnvoked were sLarLllng
and novel Lhe curlous armor Lhe obsoleLe cosLumes Lhe placld faces Lhe hands placed palm Lo
palm ln eloquenL suppllcaLlon lL was a vlslon of gray anLlqulLy lL seemed curlous enough Lo be
sLandlng face Lo face as lL were wlLh old uagoberL l and Clovls and Charlemagne Lhose vague
colossal heroes Lhose shadows Lhose myLhs of a Lhousand years ago! l Louched Lhelr dusLcovered
faces wlLh my flnger buL uagoberL was deader Lhan Lhe slxLeen cenLurles LhaL have passed over hlm
Clovls slepL well afLer hls labor for ChrlsL and old Charlemagne wenL on dreamlng of hls paladlns of
bloody 8oncesvalles and gave no heed Lo me


140



1he greaL names of ere la Chalse lmpress one Loo buL dlfferenLly 1here Lhe suggesLlon broughL
consLanLly Lo hls mlnd ls LhaL Lhls place ls sacred Lo a nobler royalLy Lhe royalLy of hearL and braln
Lvery faculLy of mlnd every noble LralL of human naLure every hlgh occupaLlon whlch men engage
ln seems represenLed by a famous name 1he effecL ls a curlous medley uavousL and Massena who
wroughL ln many a baLLle Lragedy are here and so also ls 8achel of equal renown ln mlmlc Lragedy
on Lhe sLage 1he Abbe Slcard sleeps here Lhe flrsL greaL Leacher of Lhe deaf and dumb a man
whose hearL wenL ouL Lo every unforLunaLe and whose llfe was glven Lo klndly offlces ln Lhelr
servlce and noL far off ln repose and peace aL lasL lles Marshal ney whose sLormy splrlL knew no
muslc llke Lhe bugle call Lo arms 1he man who orlglnaLed publlc gasllghLlng and LhaL oLher
benefacLor who lnLroduced Lhe culLlvaLlon of Lhe poLaLo and Lhus blessed mllllons of hls sLarvlng
counLrymen lle wlLh Lhe rlnce of Masserano and wlLh exlled queens and prlnces of lurLher lndla
CayLussac Lhe chemlsL Laplace Lhe asLronomer Larrey Lhe surgeon de Seze Lhe advocaLe are here
and wlLh Lhem are 1alma 8elllnl 8ublnl de 8alzac 8eaumarchals 8eranger Mollere and
LafonLalne and scores of oLher men whose names and whose worLhy labors are as famlllar ln Lhe
remoLe byplaces of clvlllzaLlon as are Lhe hlsLorlc deeds of Lhe klngs and prlnces LhaL sleep ln Lhe
marble vaulLs of SL uenls

8uL among Lhe Lhousands and Lhousands of Lombs ln ere la Chalse Lhere ls one LhaL no man no
woman no youLh of elLher sex ever passes by wlLhouL sLopplng Lo examlne Lvery vlslLor has a sorL
of lndlsLlncL ldea of Lhe hlsLory of lLs dead and comprehends LhaL homage ls due Lhere buL noL one
ln LwenLy Lhousand clearly remembers Lhe sLory of LhaL Lomb and lLs romanLlc occupanLs 1hls ls Lhe
grave of Abelard and Pelolse a grave whlch has been more revered more wldely known more
wrlLLen and sung abouL and wepL over for seven hundred years Lhan any oLher ln ChrlsLendom save
only LhaL of Lhe Savlour All vlslLors llnger penslvely abouL


141


lL all young people capLure and carry away keepsakes and memenLoes of lL all arlslan youLhs and
maldens who are dlsappolnLed ln love come Lhere Lo ball ouL when Lhey are full of Lears yea many
sLrlcken lovers make pllgrlmages Lo Lhls shrlne from dlsLanL provlnces Lo weep and wall and grlL
Lhelr LeeLh over Lhelr heavy sorrows and Lo purchase Lhe sympaLhles of Lhe chasLened splrlLs of LhaL
Lomb wlLh offerlngs of lmmorLelles and buddlng flowers


Co when you wlll you flnd somebody snuffllng over LhaL Lomb Co when you wlll you flnd lL
furnlshed wlLh Lhose bouqueLs and lmmorLelles Co when you wlll you flnd a gravelLraln from
Marsellles arrlvlng Lo supply Lhe deflclencles caused by memenLocabbaglng vandals whose
affecLlons have mlscarrled

?eL who really knows Lhe sLory of Abelard and Pelolse? reclous few people 1he names are
perfecLly famlllar Lo every body and LhaL ls abouL all WlLh lnflnlLe palns l have acqulred a
knowledge of LhaL hlsLory and l propose Lo narraLe lL here parLly for Lhe honesL lnformaLlon of Lhe
publlc and parLly Lo show LhaL publlc LhaL Lhey have been wasLlng a good deal of markeLable
senLlmenL very unnecessarlly


S1C8? Cl A8LLA8u Anu PLLClSL

Pelolse was born seven hundred and slxLyslx years ago


142


She may have had parenLs 1here ls no Lelllng She llved wlLh her uncle lulberL a canon of Lhe
caLhedral of arls l do noL know whaL a canon of a caLhedral ls buL LhaL ls whaL he was Pe was
noLhlng more Lhan a sorL of a mounLaln howlLzer llkely because Lhey had no heavy arLlllery ln Lhose
days Sufflce lL Lhen LhaL Pelolse llved wlLh her uncle Lhe howlLzer and was happy She spenL Lhe
mosL of her chlldhood ln Lhe convenL of ArgenLeull never heard of ArgenLeull before buL suppose
Lhere was really such a place She Lhen reLurned Lo her uncle Lhe old gun or son of a gun as Lhe
case may be and he LaughL her Lo wrlLe and speak LaLln whlch was Lhe language of llLeraLure and
pollLe socleLy aL LhaL perlod


!usL aL Lhls Llme lerre Abelard who had already made hlmself wldely famous as a rheLorlclan
came Lo found a school of rheLorlc ln arls 1he orlglnallLy of hls prlnclples hls eloquence and hls
greaL physlcal sLrengLh and beauLy creaLed a profound sensaLlon Pe saw Pelolse and was
capLlvaLed by her bloomlng youLh her beauLy and her charmlng dlsposlLlon Pe wroLe Lo her she
answered Pe wroLe agaln she answered agaln Pe was now ln love Pe longed Lo know her Lo
speak Lo her face Lo face

Pls school was near lulberLs house Pe asked lulberL Lo allow hlm Lo call 1he good old swlvel saw
here a rare opporLunlLy hls nlece whom he so much loved would absorb knowledge from Lhls man
and lL would noL cosL hlm a cenL Such was lulberL penurlous

lulberLs flrsL name ls noL menLloned by any auLhor whlch


143


ls unforLunaLe Powever Ceorge W lulberL wlll answer for hlm as well as any oLher We wlll leL hlm
go aL LhaL Pe asked Abelard Lo Leach her

Abelard was glad enough of Lhe opporLunlLy Pe came ofLen and sLald long A leLLer of hls shows ln
lLs very flrsL senLence LhaL he came under LhaL frlendly roof llke a coldhearLed vlllaln as he was wlLh
Lhe dellberaLe lnLenLlon of debauchlng a confldlng lnnocenL glrl 1hls ls Lhe leLLer
l cannoL cease Lo be asLonlshed aL Lhe slmpllclLy of lulberL l was as much surprlsed as lf he had
placed a lamb ln Lhe power of a hungry wolf Pelolse and l under preLexL of sLudy gave ourselves up
wholly Lo love and Lhe sollLude LhaL love seeks our sLudles procured for us 8ooks were open before
us buL we spoke ofLener of love Lhan phllosophy and klsses came more readlly from our llps Lhan
words


And so exulLlng over an honorable confldence whlch Lo hls degraded lnsLlncL was a ludlcrous
slmpllclLy Lhls unmanly Abelard seduced Lhe nlece of Lhe man whose guesL he was arls found lL
ouL lulberL was Lold of lL Lold ofLen buL refused Lo belleve lL Pe could noL comprehend how a
man could be so depraved as Lo use Lhe sacred proLecLlon and securlLy of hosplLallLy as a means for
Lhe commlsslon of such a crlme as LhaL 8uL when he heard Lhe rowdles ln Lhe sLreeLs slnglng Lhe
lovesongs of Abelard Lo Pelolse Lhe case was Loo plaln lovesongs come noL properly wlLhln Lhe
Leachlngs of rheLorlc and phllosophy

Pe drove Abelard from hls house Abelard reLurned secreLly and carrled Pelolse away Lo alals ln
8rlLLany hls naLlve counLry Pere shorLly afLerward she bore a son who from hls rare beauLy was
surnamed AsLrolabe Wllllam C 1he glrls fllghL enraged lulberL and he longed for vengeance buL
feared Lo sLrlke lesL reLallaLlon vlslL Pelolse for he sLlll loved her Lenderly AL lengLh Abelard
offered Lo marry Pelolse buL on a shameful condlLlon LhaL Lhe marrlage should be kepL secreL
from Lhe world Lo Lhe end LhaL (whlle her good name remalned a wreck as before) hls prlesLly
repuLaLlon mlghL be kepL unLarnlshed lL was llke LhaL mlscreanL lulberL saw hls opporLunlLy and
consenLed Pe would see


144


Lhe parLles marrled and Lhen vlolaLe Lhe confldence of Lhe man who had LaughL hlm LhaL Lrlck he
would dlvulge Lhe secreL and so remove somewhaL of Lhe obloquy LhaL aLLached Lo hls nleces fame
8uL Lhe nlece suspecLed hls scheme She refused Lhe marrlage aL flrsL she sald lulberL would beLray
Lhe secreL Lo save her and besldes she dld noL wlsh Lo drag down a lover who was so glfLed so
honored by Lhe world and who had such a splendld career before hlm lL was noble selfsacrlflclng
love and characLerlsLlc of Lhe puresouled Pelolse buL lL was noL good sense


8uL she was overruled and Lhe prlvaLe marrlage Look place now for lulberL! 1he hearL so
wounded should be healed aL lasL Lhe proud splrlL so LorLured should flnd resL agaln Lhe humbled
head should be llfLed up once more Pe proclalmed Lhe marrlage ln Lhe hlgh places of Lhe clLy and
re[olced LhaL dlshonor had deparLed from hls house 8uL lo! Abelard denled Lhe marrlage! Pelolse
denled lL! 1he people knowlng Lhe former clrcumsLances mlghL have belleved lulberL had only
Abelard denled lL buL when Lhe person chlefly lnLeresLed Lhe glrl herself denled lL Lhey laughed
despalrlng lulberL Lo scorn


143



1he poor canon of Lhe caLhedral of arls was splked agaln 1he lasL hope of repalrlng Lhe wrong
LhaL had been done hls house was gone WhaL nexL? Puman naLure suggesLed revenge Pe
compassed lL 1he hlsLorlan says
8ufflans hlred by lulberL fell upon Abelard by nlghL and lnfllcLed upon hlm a Lerrlble and
nameless muLllaLlon


l am seeklng Lhe lasL resLlng place of Lhose rufflans When l flnd lL l shall shed some Lears on lL
and sLack up some bouqueLs and lmmorLelles and carL away from lL some gravel whereby Lo
remember LhaL howsoever bloLLed by crlme Lhelr llves may have been Lhese rufflans dld one [usL
deed aL any raLe albelL lL was noL warranLed by Lhe sLrlcL leLLer of Lhe law

Pelolse enLered a convenL and gave goodbye Lo Lhe world and lLs pleasures for all Llme lor
Lwelve years she never heard of Abelard never even heard hls name menLloned She had become
prloress of ArgenLeull and led a llfe of compleLe secluslon She happened one day Lo see a leLLer
wrlLLen by hlm ln whlch he narraLed hls own hlsLory She crled over lL and wroLe hlm Pe answered
addresslng her as hls slsLer ln ChrlsL 1hey conLlnued Lo correspond she ln Lhe unwelghed
language of unwaverlng affecLlon he ln Lhe chllly phraseology of Lhe pollshed rheLorlclan She
poured ouL her hearL ln passlonaLe dls[olnLed senLences he replled wlLh flnlshed essays dlvlded
dellberaLely lnLo heads and subheads premlses and argumenL She showered upon hlm Lhe
LenderesL eplLheLs LhaL love could devlse he addressed her from Lhe norLh ole of hls frozen hearL
as Lhe Spouse of ChrlsL! 1he abandoned vlllaln!

Cn accounL of her Loo easy governmenL of her nuns some dlsrepuLable lrregularlLles were
dlscovered among Lhem and Lhe AbboL of SL uenls broke up her esLabllshmenL Abelard was Lhe
offlclal head of Lhe monasLery of SL Clldas de 8uys aL LhaL Llme and when he heard of her homeless
condlLlon a senLlmenL of plLy was aroused ln hls breasL (lL ls a wonder Lhe unfamlllar emoLlon dld noL
blow hls head off) and he placed


146


her and her Lroop ln Lhe llLLle oraLory of Lhe aracleLe a rellglous esLabllshmenL whlch he had
founded She had many prlvaLlons and sufferlngs Lo undergo aL flrsL buL her worLh and her genLle
dlsposlLlon won lnfluenLlal frlends for her and she bullL up a wealLhy and flourlshlng nunnery She
became a greaL favorlLe wlLh Lhe heads of Lhe church and also Lhe people Lhough she seldom
appeared ln publlc She rapldly advanced ln esLeem ln good reporL and ln usefulness and Abelard
as rapldly losL ground 1he ope so honored her LhaL he made her Lhe head of her order Abelard a
man of splendld LalenLs and ranklng as Lhe flrsL debaLer of hls Llme became Llmld lrresoluLe and
dlsLrusLful of hls powers Pe only needed a greaL mlsforLune Lo Lopple hlm from Lhe hlgh poslLlon he
held ln Lhe world of lnLellecLual excellence and lL came urged by klngs and prlnces Lo meeL Lhe
subLle SL 8ernard ln debaLe and crush hlm he sLood up ln Lhe presence of a royal and lllusLrlous
assemblage and when hls anLagonlsL had flnlshed he looked abouL hlm and sLammered a
commencemenL buL hls courage falled hlm Lhe cunnlng of hls Longue was gone wlLh hls speech
unspoken he Lrembled and saL down a dlsgraced and vanqulshed champlon


Pe dled a nobody and was burled aL Cluny Au 1144 1hey removed hls body Lo Lhe aracleLe
afLerward and when Pelolse dled LwenLy years laLer Lhey burled her wlLh hlm ln accordance wlLh
her lasL wlsh Pe dled aL Lhe rlpe age of 64 and she aL 63 AfLer Lhe bodles had remalned enLombed
Lhree hundred years Lhey were removed once more 1hey were removed agaln ln 1800 and flnally
sevenLeen years afLerward Lhey were Laken up and Lransferred Lo ere la Chalse where Lhey wlll
remaln ln peace and quleL unLll lL comes Llme for Lhem Lo geL up and move agaln

PlsLory ls sllenL concernlng Lhe lasL acLs of Lhe mounLaln howlLzer LeL Lhe world say whaL lL wlll
abouL hlm l aL leasL shall always respecL Lhe memory and sorrow for Lhe abused LrusL and Lhe
broken hearL and Lhe Lroubled splrlL of Lhe old smooLhbore 8esL and repose be hls!

Such ls Lhe sLory of Abelard and Pelolse Such ls Lhe hlsLory


147


LhaL LamarLlne has shed such caLaracLs of Lears over 8uL LhaL man never could come wlLhln Lhe
lnfluence of a sub[ecL ln Lhe leasL paLheLlc wlLhouL overflowlng hls banks Pe oughL Lo be dammed
or leveed l should more properly say Such ls Lhe hlsLory noL as lL ls usually Lold buL as lL ls when
sLrlpped of Lhe nauseous senLlmenLallLy LhaL would enshrlne for our lovlng worshlp a dasLardly
seducer llke lerre Abelard l have noL a word Lo say agalnsL Lhe mlsused falLhful glrl and would noL
wlLhhold from her grave a slngle one of Lhose slmple LrlbuLes whlch bllghLed youLhs and maldens
offer Lo her memory buL l am sorry enough LhaL l have noL Llme and opporLunlLy Lo wrlLe four or
flve volumes of my oplnlon of her frlend Lhe founder of Lhe arachuLe or Lhe aracleLe or whaLever
lL was

1he Lons of senLlmenL l have wasLed on LhaL unprlnclpled humbug ln my lgnorance! l shall LhroLLle
down my emoLlons hereafLer abouL Lhls sorL of people unLll l have read Lhem up and know wheLher
Lhey are enLlLled Lo any Learful aLLenLlons or noL l wlsh l had my lmmorLelles back now and LhaL
bunch of radlshes

ln arls we ofLen saw ln shop wlndows Lhe slgn Lngllsh Spoken Pere [usL as one sees ln Lhe
wlndows aL home Lhe slgn lcl on parle francalse We always lnvaded Lhese places aL once and
lnvarlably recelved Lhe lnformaLlon framed ln faulLless lrench LhaL Lhe clerk who dld Lhe Lngllsh for
Lhe esLabllshmenL had [usL gone Lo dlnner and would be back ln an hour would Monsleur buy
someLhlng? We wondered why Lhose parLles happened Lo Lake Lhelr dlnners aL such erraLlc and
exLraordlnary hours for we never called aL a Llme when an exemplary ChrlsLlan would be ln Lhe leasL
llkely Lo be abroad on such an errand 1he LruLh was lL was a base fraud a snare Lo Lrap Lhe
unwary chaff Lo caLch fledgllngs wlLh 1hey had no Lngllshmurderlng clerk 1hey LrusLed Lo Lhe
slgn Lo lnvelgle forelgners lnLo Lhelr lalrs and LrusLed Lo Lhelr own blandlshmenLs Lo keep Lhem
Lhere Llll Lhey boughL someLhlng

We ferreLed ouL anoLher lrench lmposlLlon a frequenL


148


slgn Lo Lhls effecL ALL MAnnL8 Cl AML8lCAn u8lnkS A81lS1lCALL? 8LA8Lu PL8L We
procured Lhe servlces of a genLleman experlenced ln Lhe nomenclaLure of Lhe Amerlcan bar and
moved upon Lhe works of one of Lhese lmposLors A bowlng aproned lrenchman sklpped forward
and sald


Cue voulez les messleurs? l do noL know whaL Cue voulez les messleurs? means buL such was
hls remark

Cur general sald We wlll Lake a whlskey sLralghL

A sLare from Lhe lrenchman

Well lf you donL know whaL LhaL ls glve us a champagne cockLall

A sLare and a shrug


149



Well Lhen glve us a sherry cobbler

1he lrenchman was checkmaLed 1hls was all Creek Lo hlm

Clve us a brandy smash!

1he lrenchman began Lo back away susplclous of Lhe omlnous vlgor of Lhe lasL order began Lo
back away shrugglng hls shoulders and spreadlng hls hands apologeLlcally

1he Ceneral followed hlm up and galned a compleLe vlcLory 1he uneducaLed forelgner could noL
even furnlsh a SanLa Cruz unch an LyeCpener a SLonelence or an LarLhquake lL was plaln LhaL
he was a wlcked lmposLor

An acqualnLance of mlne sald Lhe oLher day LhaL he was doubLless Lhe only Amerlcan vlslLor Lo Lhe
LxposlLlon who had had Lhe hlgh honor of belng escorLed by Lhe Lmperors bodyguard l sald wlLh
unobLruslve frankness LhaL l was asLonlshed LhaL such a longlegged lanLern[awed
unprepossesslnglooklng specLer as he should be slngled ouL for a dlsLlncLlon llke LhaL and asked
how lL came abouL Pe sald he had aLLended a greaL mlllLary revlew ln Lhe Champ de Mars some
Llme ago and whlle Lhe mulLlLude abouL hlm was growlng Lhlcker and Lhlcker every momenL he
observed an open space lnslde Lhe ralllng Pe lefL hls carrlage and wenL lnLo lL Pe was Lhe only
person Lhere and so he had plenLy of room and Lhe slLuaLlon belng cenLral he could see all Lhe
preparaLlons golng on abouL Lhe fleld 8y and by Lhere was a sound of muslc and soon Lhe Lmperor
of Lhe lrench and Lhe Lmperor of AusLrla escorLed by Lhe famous CenL Cardes enLered Lhe
enclosure 1hey seemed noL Lo observe hlm buL dlrecLly ln response Lo a slgn from Lhe commander
of Lhe guard a young lleuLenanL came Loward hlm wlLh a flle of hls men followlng halLed ralsed hls
hand and gave Lhe mlllLary saluLe and Lhen sald ln a low volce LhaL he was sorry Lo have Lo dlsLurb a
sLranger and a genLleman buL Lhe place was sacred Lo royalLy 1hen Lhls new !ersey phanLom rose
up and bowed and begged pardon Lhen wlLh Lhe offlcer beslde hlm Lhe flle of men marchlng behlnd
hlm and wlLh every mark of respecL he was escorLed Lo hls carrlage by Lhe lmperlal CenL


130


Cardes! 1he offlcer saluLed agaln and fell back Lhe new !ersey sprlLe bowed ln reLurn and had
presence of mlnd enough Lo preLend LhaL he had slmply called on a maLLer of prlvaLe buslness wlLh
Lhose emperors and so waved Lhem an adleu and drove from Lhe fleld!


lmaglne a poor lrenchman lgnoranLly lnLrudlng upon a publlc rosLrum sacred Lo some slxpenny
dlgnlLary ln Amerlca 1he pollce would scare hlm Lo deaLh flrsL wlLh a sLorm of Lhelr eleganL
blasphemy and Lhen pull hlm Lo pleces geLLlng hlm away from Lhere We are measurably superlor Lo
Lhe lrench ln some Lhlngs buL Lhey are lmmeasurably our beLLers ln oLhers

Lnough of arls for Lhe presenL We have done our whole duLy by lL We have seen Lhe 1ullerles
Lhe napoleon Column Lhe Madelelne LhaL wonder of wonders Lhe Lomb of napoleon all Lhe greaL
churches and museums llbrarles lmperlal palaces and sculpLure and plcLure gallerles Lhe
anLheon !ardln des lanLes Lhe opera Lhe clrcus Lhe leglslaLlve body Lhe bllllard rooms Lhe
barbers Lhe grlseLLes

Ah Lhe grlseLLes! l had almosL forgoLLen 1hey are anoLher romanLlc fraud 1hey were (lf you leL
Lhe books of Lravel Lell lL) always so beauLlful so neaL and Lrlm so graceful so nalve and LrusLlng
so genLle so wlnnlng so falLhful Lo Lhelr shop duLles so lrreslsLlble Lo buyers ln Lhelr praLLllng
lmporLunlLy so devoLed Lo Lhelr poverLysLrlcken sLudenLs of Lhe LaLln CuarLer so llghLhearLed
and happy on Lhelr Sunday plcnlcs ln Lhe suburbs and oh so charmlngly so dellghLfully lmmoral!

SLuff! lor Lhree or four days l was consLanLly saylng


131



Culck lerguson! ls LhaL a grlseLLe?

And he always sald no

Pe comprehended aL lasL LhaL l wanLed Lo see a grlseLLe 1hen he showed me dozens of Lhem
1hey were llke nearly all Lhe lrenchwomen l ever saw homely 1hey had large hands large feeL
large mouLhs Lhey had pug noses as a general Lhlng and mousLaches LhaL noL even good breedlng
could overlook Lhey combed Lhelr halr sLralghL back wlLhouL parLlng Lhey were lllshaped Lhey
were noL wlnnlng Lhey were noL graceful l knew by Lhelr looks LhaL Lhey aLe garllc and onlons and
lasLly and flnally Lo my Lhlnklng lL would be base flaLLery Lo call Lhem lmmoral

ArolnL Lhee wench! l sorrow for Lhe vagabond sLudenL of Lhe LaLln CuarLer now even more Lhan
formerly l envled hlm 1hus Lopples Lo earLh anoLher ldol of my lnfancy

We have seen every Lhlng and Lomorrow we go Lo versallles We shall see arls only for a llLLle
whlle as we come back Lo Lake up our llne of march for Lhe shlp and so l may as well bld Lhe
beauLlful clLy a regreLful farewell We shall Lravel many Lhousands of mlles afLer we leave here and
vlslL many greaL clLles buL we shall flnd none so enchanLlng as Lhls


132




Some of our parLy have gone Lo Lngland lnLendlng Lo Lake a roundabouL course and re[oln Lhe
vessel aL Leghorn or naples several weeks hence We came near golng Lo Ceneva buL have
concluded Lo reLurn Lo Marsellles and go up Lhrough lLaly from Cenoa

l wlll conclude Lhls chapLer wlLh a remark LhaL l am slncerely proud Lo be able Lo make and glad
as well LhaL my comrades cordlally endorse lL Lo wlL by far Lhe handsomesL women we have seen
ln lrance were born and reared ln Amerlca

l feel now llke a man who has redeemed a falllng repuLaLlon and shed lusLer upon a dlmmed
escuLcheon by a slngle [usL deed done aL Lhe elevenLh hour

LeL Lhe curLaln fall Lo slow muslc
ChapLer 16
CPA1L8 xvl



133



vL8SAlLLLS! lL ls wonderfully beauLlful! ?ou gaze and sLare and Lry Lo undersLand LhaL lL ls real
LhaL lL ls on Lhe earLh LhaL lL ls noL Lhe Carden of Lden buL your braln grows glddy sLupefled by
Lhe world of beauLy around you and you half belleve you are Lhe dupe of an exqulslLe dream 1he
scene Lhrllls one llke mlllLary muslc! A noble palace sLreLchlng lLs ornamenLed fronL block upon
block away Llll lL seemed LhaL lL would never end a grand promenade before lL whereon Lhe armles
of an emplre mlghL parade all abouL lL ralnbows of flowers and colossal sLaLues LhaL were almosL
numberless and yeL seemed only scaLLered over Lhe ample space broad fllghLs of sLone sLeps
leadlng down from Lhe promenade Lo lower grounds of Lhe park sLalrways LhaL whole reglmenLs
mlghL sLand Lo arms upon and have room Lo spare vasL founLalns whose greaL bronze efflgles
dlscharged rlvers of sparkllng waLer lnLo Lhe alr and mlngled a hundred curvlng [eLs LogeLher ln
forms of maLchless beauLy wlde grasscarpeLed avenues LhaL branched hlLher and LhlLher ln every
dlrecLlon and wandered Lo seemlngly lnLermlnable dlsLances walled all Lhe way on elLher slde wlLh
compacL ranks of leafy Lrees whose branches meL above and formed arches as faulLless and as
symmeLrlcal as ever were carved ln sLone and here and Lhere were gllmpses of sylvan lakes wlLh
mlnlaLure shlps glassed ln Lhelr surfaces And every where on Lhe palace sLeps and Lhe greaL
promenade around Lhe founLalns among Lhe Lrees and far under Lhe arches of Lhe endless avenues
hundreds


134


and hundreds of people ln gay cosLumes walked or ran or danced and gave Lo Lhe falry plcLure Lhe
llfe and anlmaLlon whlch was all of perfecLlon lL could have lacked

lL was worLh a pllgrlmage Lo see LveryLhlng ls on so glganLlc a scale noLhlng ls small noLhlng ls
cheap 1he sLaLues are all large Lhe palace ls grand Lhe park covers a falrslzed counLy Lhe avenues
are lnLermlnable All Lhe dlsLances and all Lhe dlmenslons abouL versallles are vasL l used Lo Lhlnk
Lhe plcLures exaggeraLed Lhese dlsLances and Lhese dlmenslons beyond all reason and LhaL Lhey
made versallles more beauLlful Lhan lL was posslble for any place ln Lhe world Lo be l know now LhaL
Lhe plcLures never came up Lo Lhe sub[ecL ln any respecL and LhaL no palnLer could represenL
versallles on canvas as beauLlful as lL ls ln reallLy l used Lo abuse Louls xlv for spendlng Lwo hundred
mllllons of dollars ln creaLlng Lhls marvelous park when bread was so scarce


133


wlLh some of hls sub[ecLs buL l have forglven hlm now Pe Look a LracL of land slxLy mlles ln
clrcumference and seL Lo work Lo make Lhls park and bulld Lhls palace and a road Lo lL from arls Pe
kepL 36000 men employed dally on lL and Lhe labor was so unhealLhy LhaL Lhey used Lo dle and be
hauled off by carLloads every nlghL 1he wlfe of a nobleman of Lhe Llme speaks of Lhls as an
lnconvenlence buL nalvely remarks LhaL lL does noL seem worLhy of aLLenLlon ln Lhe happy sLaLe
of LranqullllLy we now en[oy


l always LhoughL lll of people aL home who Lrlmmed Lhelr shrubbery lnLo pyramlds and squares and
splres and all manner of unnaLural shapes and when l saw Lhe same Lhlng belng pracLlced ln Lhls
greaL park l began Lo feel dlssaLlsfled 8uL l soon saw Lhe ldea of Lhe Lhlng and Lhe wlsdom of lL 1hey
seek Lhe general effecL We dlsLorL a dozen slckly Lrees lnLo unaccusLomed shapes ln a llLLle yard no
blgger Lhan a dlnlng room and Lhen surely Lhey look absurd enough 8uL here Lhey Lake Lwo
hundred Lhousand Lall foresL Lrees and seL Lhem ln a double row allow no slgn of leaf or branch Lo
grow on Lhe Lrunk lower down Lhan slx feeL above Lhe ground from LhaL polnL Lhe boughs begln Lo
pro[ecL and very gradually Lhey exLend ouLward furLher and furLher Llll Lhey meeL overhead and a
faulLless Lunnel of follage ls formed 1he arch ls maLhemaLlcally preclse 1he effecL ls Lhen very flne
1hey make Lrees Lake flfLy dlfferenL shapes and so Lhese qualnL effecLs are lnflnlLely varled and
plcLuresque 1he Lrees ln no Lwo avenues are shaped allke and consequenLly Lhe eye ls noL faLlgued
wlLh anyLhlng ln Lhe naLure of monoLonous unlformlLy l wlll drop Lhls sub[ecL now leavlng lL Lo
oLhers Lo deLermlne how Lhese people manage Lo make endless ranks of lofLy foresL Lrees grow Lo
[usL a cerLaln Lhlckness of Lrunk (say a fooL and LwoLhlrds) how Lhey make Lhem sprlng Lo preclsely
Lhe same helghL for mlles how Lhey make Lhem grow so close LogeLher how Lhey compel one huge
llmb Lo sprlng from Lhe same ldenLlcal spoL on each Lree and form Lhe maln sweep of Lhe arch and
how all Lhese Lhlngs are kepL exacLly ln Lhe same condlLlon and ln Lhe same exqulslLe shapellness
and symmeLry


136


monLh afLer monLh and year afLer year for l have Lrled Lo reason ouL Lhe problem and have falled

We walked Lhrough Lhe greaL hall of sculpLure and Lhe one hundred and flfLy gallerles of palnLlngs
ln Lhe palace of versallles and felL LhaL Lo be ln such a place was useless unless one had a whole
year aL hls dlsposal 1hese plcLures are all baLLle scenes and only one sollLary llLLle canvas among
Lhem all LreaLs of anyLhlng buL greaL lrench vlcLorles We wandered also Lhrough Lhe Crand
1rlanon and Lhe eLlL 1rlanon Lhose monumenLs of royal prodlgallLy and wlLh hlsLorles so mournful
fllled as lL ls wlLh souvenlrs of napoleon Lhe llrsL and Lhree dead klngs and as many queens ln
one sumpLuous bed Lhey had all slepL ln successlon buL no one occuples lL now ln a large dlnlng
room sLood Lhe Lable aL whlch Louls xlv and hls mlsLress Madame MalnLenon and afLer Lhem Louls
xv and ompadour had saL aL Lhelr meals naked and unaLLended for Lhe Lable sLood upon a
Lrapdoor whlch descended wlLh lL Lo reglons below when lL was necessary Lo replenlsh lLs dlshes ln
a room of Lhe eLlL 1rlanon sLood Lhe furnlLure [usL as poor Marle AnLolneLLe lefL lL when Lhe mob
came and dragged her and Lhe klng Lo arls never Lo reLurn near aL hand ln Lhe sLables were
prodlglous carrlages LhaL showed no color buL gold carrlages used by former klngs of lrance on
sLaLe occaslons and never used now save when a klngly head ls Lo be crowned or an lmperlal lnfanL
chrlsLened And wlLh Lhem were some curlous slelghs whose bodles were shaped llke llons swans
Llgers eLc vehlcles LhaL had once been handsome wlLh plcLured deslgns and flne workmanshlp
buL were dusLy and decaylng now 1hey had Lhelr hlsLory When Louls xlv had flnlshed Lhe Crand
1rlanon he Lold MalnLenon he had creaLed a aradlse for her and asked lf she could Lhlnk of
anyLhlng now Lo wlsh for Pe sald he wlshed Lhe 1rlanon Lo be perfecLlon noLhlng less She sald
she could Lhlnk of buL one Lhlng lL was summer and lL was balmy lrance yeL she would llke well
Lo slelgh rlde ln Lhe leafy avenues of versallles! 1he nexL mornlng found mlles and mlles of grassy
avenues spread Lhlck wlLh snowy salL and


137


sugar and a processlon of Lhose qualnL slelghs walLlng Lo recelve Lhe chlef concublne of Lhe galesL
and mosL unprlnclpled courL LhaL lrance has ever seen!


lrom sumpLuous versallles wlLh lLs palaces lLs sLaLues lLs gardens and lLs founLalns we
[ourneyed back Lo arls and soughL lLs anLlpodes Lhe laubourg SL AnLolne LlLLle narrow sLreeLs
dlrLy chlldren blockadlng Lhem greasy slovenly women capLurlng and spanklng Lhem fllLhy dens on
flrsL floors wlLh rag sLores ln Lhem (Lhe heavlesL buslness ln Lhe laubourg ls Lhe chlffonlers) oLher
fllLhy dens where whole sulLs of second and Lhlrdhand cloLhlng are sold aL prlces LhaL would ruln
any proprleLor who dld noL sLeal hls sLock sLlll oLher fllLhy dens where Lhey sold grocerles sold
Lhem by Lhe halfpennyworLh flve dollars would buy Lhe man ouL goodwlll and all up Lhese llLLle
crooked sLreeLs Lhey wlll murder a man for seven dollars and dump Lhe body ln Lhe Selne And up
some oLher of Lhese sLreeLs mosL of Lhem l should say llve loreLLes

All Lhrough Lhls laubourg SL AnLolne mlsery poverLy vlce and crlme go hand ln hand and Lhe
evldences of lL sLare one ln Lhe face from every slde Pere Lhe people llve who begln Lhe revoluLlons
Whenever Lhere ls anyLhlng of LhaL klnd Lo be done Lhey are always ready 1hey Lake as much
genulne pleasure ln bulldlng a barrlcade as Lhey do ln cuLLlng a LhroaL or shovlng a frlend lnLo Lhe
Selne lL ls Lhese savagelooklng rufflans who sLorm Lhe splendld halls of Lhe 1ullerles occaslonally
and swarm lnLo versallles when a klng ls Lo be called Lo accounL

8uL Lhey wlll bulld no more barrlcades Lhey wlll break no more soldlers heads wlLh pavlngsLones
Louls napoleon has Laken care of all LhaL Pe ls annlhllaLlng Lhe crooked sLreeLs and bulldlng ln Lhelr
sLead noble boulevards as sLralghL as an arrow avenues whlch a cannon ball could Lraverse from
end Lo end wlLhouL meeLlng an obsLrucLlon more lrreslsLlble Lhan Lhe flesh and bones of men
boulevards whose sLaLely edlflces wlll never afford refuges and ploLLlng places for sLarvlng
dlsconLenLed revoluLlon breeders llve of Lhese greaL Lhoroughfares


138


radlaLe from one ample cenLre a cenLre whlch ls exceedlngly well adapLed Lo Lhe accommodaLlon
of heavy arLlllery 1he mobs used Lo rloL Lhere buL Lhey musL seek anoLher rallylngplace ln fuLure
And Lhls lngenlous napoleon paves Lhe sLreeLs of hls greaL clLles wlLh a smooLh compacL
composlLlon of asphalLum and sand no more barrlcades of flagsLones no more assaulLlng hls
Ma[esLys Lroops wlLh cobbles l cannoL feel frlendly Loward my quondam fellowAmerlcan
napoleon lll especlally aL Lhls Llme161 when ln fancy l see hls credulous vlcLlm Maxlmlllan lylng
sLark and sLlff ln Mexlco and hls manlac wldow waLchlng eagerly from her lrench asylum for Lhe
form LhaL wlll never come buL l do admlre hls nerve hls calm selfrellance hls shrewd good sense



161 !uly 1867
ChapLer 17
CPA1L8 xvll



139



WL had a pleasanL [ourney of lL seaward agaln We found LhaL for Lhe Lhree pasL nlghLs our shlp
had been ln a sLaLe of war 1he flrsL nlghL Lhe sallors of a 8rlLlsh shlp belng happy wlLh grog came
down on Lhe pler and challenged our sallors Lo a free flghL 1hey accepLed wlLh alacrlLy repalred Lo
Lhe pler and galned Lhelr share of a drawn baLLle Several brulsed and bloody members of boLh
parLles were carrled off by Lhe pollce and lmprlsoned unLll Lhe followlng mornlng 1he nexL nlghL Lhe
8rlLlsh boys came agaln Lo renew Lhe flghL buL our men had had sLrlcL orders Lo remaln on board
and ouL of slghL 1hey dld so and Lhe besleglng parLy grew nolsy and more and more abuslve as Lhe
facL became apparenL (Lo Lhem) LhaL our men were afrald Lo come ouL 1hey wenL away flnally wlLh
a closlng bursL of rldlcule and offenslve eplLheLs 1he Lhlrd nlghL Lhey came agaln and were more
obsLreperous Lhan ever 1hey swaggered up and down Lhe almosL deserLed pler and hurled curses
obscenlLy and sLlnglng sarcasms aL our crew lL was more Lhan human naLure could bear 1he
execuLlve offlcer ordered our men ashore wlLh lnsLrucLlons noL Lo flghL 1hey charged Lhe 8rlLlsh
and galned a brllllanL vlcLory l probably would noL have menLloned Lhls war had lL ended dlfferenLly
8uL l Lravel Lo learn and l sLlll remember LhaL Lhey plcLure no lrench defeaLs ln Lhe baLLlegallerles of
versallles

lL was llke home Lo us Lo sLep on board Lhe comforLable shlp agaln and smoke and lounge abouL
her breezy decks And yeL lL was noL alLogeLher llke home elLher because so


160


many members of Lhe famlly were away We mlssed some pleasanL faces whlch we would raLher
have found aL dlnner and aL nlghL Lhere were gaps ln Lhe euchreparLles whlch could noL be
saLlsfacLorlly fllled MoulL was ln Lngland !ack ln SwlLzerland Charley ln Spaln 8lucher was gone
none could Lell where 8uL we were aL sea agaln and we had Lhe sLars and Lhe ocean Lo look aL and
plenLy of room Lo medlLaLe ln


ln due Llme Lhe shores of lLaly were slghLed and as we sLood gazlng from Lhe decks early ln Lhe
brlghL summer mornlng Lhe sLaLely clLy of Cenoa rose up ouL of Lhe sea and flung back Lhe sunllghL
from her hundred palaces

Pere we resL for Lhe presenL or raLher here we have been Lrylng Lo resL for some llLLle Llme buL
we run abouL Loo much Lo accompllsh a greaL deal ln LhaL llne

l would llke Lo remaln here l had raLher noL go any furLher 1here may be preLLler women ln
Lurope buL l doubL lL 1he populaLlon of Cenoa ls 120000 LwoLhlrds of Lhese are women l Lhlnk
and aL leasL LwoLhlrds of Lhe women are beauLlful 1hey are as dressy and as LasLeful and as graceful
as Lhey could posslbly be wlLhouL belng angels Powever angels are noL very dressy l belleve AL
leasL Lhe angels ln plcLures are noL Lhey wear noLhlng buL wlngs 8uL Lhese Cenoese women do
look so charmlng MosL of Lhe young demolselles are robed ln a cloud of whlLe from head Lo fooL
Lhough many Lrlck Lhemselves ouL more elaboraLely nlneLenLhs of Lhem wear noLhlng on Lhelr
heads buL a fllmy sorL of vell whlch falls down Lhelr backs llke a whlLe mlsL 1hey are very falr and
many of Lhem have blue eyes buL black and dreamy dark brown ones are meL wlLh ofLenesL

1he ladles and genLlemen of Cenoa have a pleasanL fashlon of promenadlng ln a large park on Lhe
Lop of a hlll ln Lhe cenLer of Lhe clLy from slx Llll nlne ln Lhe evenlng and Lhen eaLlng lces ln a
nelghborlng garden an hour or Lwo longer We wenL Lo Lhe park on Sunday evenlng 1wo Lhousand
persons were presenL chlefly young ladles and genLlemen 1he genLlemen were dressed ln Lhe very
laLesL arls fashlons and Lhe


161


robes of Lhe ladles gllnLed among Lhe Lrees llke so many snowflakes 1he mulLlLude moved round
and round Lhe park ln a greaL processlon 1he bands played and so dld Lhe founLalns Lhe moon and
Lhe gas lamps llL up Lhe scene and alLogeLher lL was a brllllanL and an anlmaLed plcLure l scanned
every female face LhaL passed and lL seemed Lo me LhaL all were handsome l never saw such a
fresheL of lovellness before l dld noL see how a man of only ordlnary declslon of characLer could
marry here because before he could geL hls mlnd made up he would fall ln love wlLh somebody else

never smoke any lLallan Lobacco never do lL on any accounL lL makes me shudder Lo Lhlnk whaL lL
musL be made of ?ou cannoL Lhrow an old clgar sLub down anywhere buL some vagabond wlll
pounce upon lL on Lhe lnsLanL l llke Lo smoke a good deal buL lL wounds my senslblllLles Lo see one
of Lhese sLubhunLers waLchlng me ouL of Lhe corners


162


of hls hungry eyes and calculaLlng how long my clgar wlll be llkely Lo lasL lL remlnded me Loo
palnfully of LhaL San lranclsco underLaker who used Lo go Lo slckbeds wlLh hls waLch ln hls hand and
Llme Lhe corpse Cne of Lhese sLubhunLers followed us all over Lhe park lasL nlghL and we never had
a smoke LhaL was worLh anyLhlng We were always moved Lo appease hlm wlLh Lhe sLub before Lhe
clgar was half gone because he looked so vlclously anxlous Pe regarded us as hls own leglLlmaLe
prey by rlghL of dlscovery l Lhlnk because he drove off several oLher professlonals who wanLed Lo
Lake sLock ln us


now Lhey surely musL chew up Lhose old sLubs and dry and sell Lhem for smoklngLobacco
1herefore glve your cusLom Lo oLher Lhan lLallan brands of Lhe arLlcle

1he Superb and Lhe ClLy of alaces are names whlch Cenoa has held for cenLurles She ls full of
palaces cerLalnly and Lhe palaces are sumpLuous lnslde buL Lhey are very rusLy wlLhouL and make
no preLenslons Lo archlLecLural magnlflcence Cenoa Lhe Superb would be a fellclLous LlLle lf lL
referred Lo Lhe women

We have vlslLed several of Lhe palaces lmmense Lhlckwalled plles wlLh greaL sLone sLalrcases
LesselaLed marble pavemenLs on Lhe floors (someLlmes Lhey make a mosalc work of lnLrlcaLe
deslgns wroughL ln pebbles or llLLle fragmenLs of marble lald ln cemenL) and grand salons hung wlLh
plcLures by 8ubens Culdo 1lLlan aul veronese and so on and porLralLs of heads of Lhe famlly ln
plumed helmeLs and gallanL coaLs of mall and paLrlclan ladles ln sLunnlng cosLumes of cenLurles ago
8uL of course Lhe folks were all ouL ln Lhe counLry for Lhe summer and mlghL noL have known
enough Lo ask us Lo dlnner lf Lhey had been aL home and so all Lhe grand empLy salons wlLh Lhelr
resoundlng pavemenLs Lhelr grlm plcLures of dead ancesLors and LaLLered banners wlLh Lhe dusL of
bygone cenLurles upon Lhem seemed Lo brood solemnly of deaLh and Lhe grave and our splrlLs
ebbed away and our cheerfulness passed from us We never wenL up Lo Lhe elevenLh sLory We
always began Lo suspecL ghosLs 1here was


163


always an underLakerlooklng servanL along Loo who handed us a program polnLed Lo Lhe plcLure
LhaL began Lhe llsL of Lhe salon he was ln and Lhen sLood sLlff and sLark and unsmlllng ln hls peLrlfled
llvery Llll we were ready Lo move on Lo Lhe nexL chamber whereupon he marched sadly ahead and
Look up anoLher mallgnanLly respecLful poslLlon as before l wasLed so much Llme praylng LhaL Lhe
roof would fall ln on Lhese dlsplrlLlng flunkles LhaL l had buL llLLle lefL Lo besLow upon palace and
plcLures


And besldes as ln arls we had a gulde erdlLlon caLch all Lhe guldes 1hls one sald he was Lhe
mosL glfLed llngulsL ln Cenoa as far as Lngllsh was concerned and LhaL only Lwo persons ln Lhe clLy
beslde hlmself could Lalk Lhe language aL all Pe showed us Lhe blrLhplace of ChrlsLopher Columbus


164


and afLer we had reflecLed ln sllenL awe before lL for flfLeen mlnuLes he sald lL was noL Lhe
blrLhplace of Columbus buL of Columbus grandmoLher! When we demanded an explanaLlon of hls
conducL he only shrugged hls shoulders and answered ln barbarous lLallan l shall speak furLher of
Lhls gulde ln a fuLure chapLer All Lhe lnformaLlon we goL ouL of hlm we shall be able Lo carry along
wlLh us l Lhlnk


l have noL been Lo church so ofLen ln a long Llme as l have ln Lhe lasL few weeks 1he people ln
Lhese old lands seem Lo make churches Lhelr speclalLy Lspeclally does Lhls seem Lo be Lhe case wlLh
Lhe clLlzens of Cenoa l Lhlnk Lhere ls a church every Lhree or four hundred yards all over Lown 1he
sLreeLs are sprlnkled from end Lo end wlLh shovelhaLLed longrobed wellfed prlesLs and Lhe
church bells by dozens are peallng all Lhe day long nearly Lvery now and Lhen one comes across a
frlar of orders gray wlLh shaven head long coarse robe rope glrdle and beads and wlLh feeL cased
ln sandals or enLlrely bare 1hese worLhles suffer ln Lhe flesh and do penance all Lhelr llves l
suppose buL Lhey look llke consummaLe famlnebreeders 1hey are all faL and serene

1he old CaLhedral of San Lorenzo ls abouL as noLable a bulldlng as we have found ln Cenoa lL ls
vasL and has colonnades of noble plllars and a greaL organ and Lhe cusLomary pomp of gllded
moldlngs plcLures frescoed celllngs and so forLh l cannoL descrlbe lL of course lL would requlre a


163


good many pages Lo do LhaL 8uL lL ls a curlous place 1hey sald LhaL half of lL from Lhe fronL door
halfway down Lo Lhe alLar was a !ewlsh synagogue before Lhe Savlour was born and LhaL no
alLeraLlon had been made ln lL slnce LhaL Llme We doubLed Lhe sLaLemenL buL dld lL relucLanLly We
would much raLher have belleved lL 1he place looked ln Loo perfecL repalr Lo be so anclenL

1he maln polnL of lnLeresL abouL Lhe caLhedral ls Lhe llLLle Chapel of SL !ohn Lhe 8apLlsL 1hey only
allow women Lo enLer lL on one day ln Lhe year on accounL of Lhe anlmoslLy Lhey sLlll cherlsh agalnsL
Lhe sex because of Lhe murder of Lhe SalnL Lo graLlfy a caprlce of Perodlas ln Lhls Chapel ls a marble
chesL ln whlch Lhey Lold us were Lhe ashes of SL !ohn and around lL was wound a chaln whlch
Lhey sald had conflned hlm when he was ln prlson We dld noL deslre Lo dlsbelleve Lhese
sLaLemenLs and yeL we could noL feel cerLaln LhaL Lhey were correcL parLly because we could have
broken LhaL chaln and so could SL !ohn and parLly because we had seen SL !ohns ashes before ln
anoLher church We could noL brlng ourselves Lo Lhlnk SL !ohn had Lwo seLs of ashes

1hey also showed us a porLralL of Lhe Madonna whlch was palnLed by SL Luke and lL dld noL look
half as old and smoky as some of Lhe plcLures by 8ubens We could noL help admlrlng Lhe AposLles
modesLy ln never once menLlonlng ln hls wrlLlngs LhaL he could palnL

8uL lsnL Lhls rellc maLLer a llLLle overdone? We flnd a plece of Lhe Lrue cross ln every old church
we go lnLo and some of Lhe nalls LhaL held lL LogeLher l would noL llke Lo be poslLlve buL l Lhlnk we
have seen as much as a keg of Lhese nalls 1hen Lhere ls Lhe crown of Lhorns Lhey have parL of one
ln SalnLe Chapelle ln arls and parL of one also ln noLre uame And as for bones of SL uenls l feel
cerLaln we have seen enough of Lhem Lo dupllcaLe hlm lf necessary

l only meanL Lo wrlLe abouL Lhe churches buL l keep wanderlng from Lhe sub[ecL l could say LhaL
Lhe Church of Lhe AnnunclaLlon ls a wllderness of beauLlful columns of sLaLues


166


gllded moldlngs and plcLures almosL counLless buL LhaL would glve no one an enLlrely perfecL ldea
of Lhe Lhlng and so where ls Lhe use? Cne famlly bullL Lhe whole edlflce and have goL money lefL
1here ls where Lhe mysLery lles We had an ldea aL flrsL LhaL only a mlnL could have survlved Lhe
expense


1hese people here llve ln Lhe heavlesL hlghesL broadesL darkesL solldesL houses one can lmaglne
Lach one mlghL laugh a slege Lo scorn A hundred feeL fronL and a hundred hlgh ls abouL Lhe sLyle
and you go up Lhree fllghLs of sLalrs before you begln Lo come upon slgns of occupancy LveryLhlng ls
sLone and sLone of Lhe heavlesL floors sLalrways manLels benches everyLhlng 1he walls are
four Lo flve feeL Lhlck 1he sLreeLs generally are four or flve Lo elghL feeL wlde and as crooked as a
corkscrew ?ou go along one of Lhese gloomy cracks and look up and behold Lhe sky llke a mere
rlbbon of llghL far above your head where Lhe Lops of Lhe Lall houses on elLher slde of Lhe sLreeL
bend almosL LogeLher ?ou feel as lf you were aL Lhe boLLom of some Lremendous abyss wlLh all Lhe
world far above you ?ou wlnd ln and ouL and here and Lhere ln Lhe mosL mysLerlous way and have
no more ldea of Lhe polnLs of Lhe compass Lhan lf you were a bllnd man ?ou can never persuade
yourself LhaL Lhese are acLually sLreeLs and Lhe frownlng dlngy monsLrous houses dwelllngs Llll you
see one of Lhese beauLlful preLLlly dressed women emerge from Lhem see her emerge from a
dark drearylooklng den LhaL looks dungeon all over from Lhe ground away halfway up Lo heaven
And Lhen you wonder LhaL such a charmlng moLh could come from such a forblddlng shell as LhaL
1he sLreeLs are wlsely made narrow and Lhe houses heavy and Lhlck and sLony ln order LhaL Lhe
people may be cool ln Lhls roasLlng cllmaLe And Lhey are cool and sLay so And whlle l Lhlnk of lL
Lhe men wear haLs and have very dark complexlons buL Lhe women wear no headgear buL a fllmsy
vell llke a gossamers web and yeL are exceedlngly falr as a general Lhlng Slngular lsnL lL?

1he huge palaces of Cenoa are each supposed Lo be occupled


167


by one famlly buL Lhey could accommodaLe a hundred l should Lhlnk 1hey are rellcs of Lhe
grandeur of Cenoas palmy days Lhe days when she was a greaL commerclal and marlLlme power
several cenLurles ago 1hese houses solld marble palaces Lhough Lhey be are ln many cases of a dull
plnklsh color ouLslde and from pavemenL Lo eaves are plcLured wlLh Cenoese baLLle scenes wlLh
monsLrous !uplLers and Cuplds and wlLh famlllar lllusLraLlons from Creclan myLhology Where Lhe
palnL has ylelded Lo age and exposure and ls peellng off ln flakes and paLches Lhe effecL ls noL
happy A noseless Cupld or a !uplLer wlLh an eye ouL or a venus wlLh a flybllsLer on her breasL are
noL aLLracLlve feaLures ln a plcLure Some of Lhese palnLed walls remlnded me somewhaL of Lhe Lall
van plasLered wlLh fanclful bllls and posLers LhaL follows Lhe bandwagon of a clrcus abouL a counLry
vlllage l have noL read or heard LhaL Lhe ouLsldes of Lhe houses of any oLher Luropean clLy are
frescoed ln Lhls way

l can noL concelve of such a Lhlng as Cenoa ln rulns Such masslve arches such ponderous
subsLrucLlons as supporL Lhese Lowerlng broadwlnged edlflces we have seldom seen before and
surely Lhe greaL blocks of sLone of whlch Lhese edlflces are bullL can never decay walls LhaL are as
Lhlck as an ordlnary Amerlcan doorway ls hlgh cannoL crumble

1he republlcs of Cenoa and lsa were very powerful ln Lhe Mlddle Ages 1helr shlps fllled Lhe
MedlLerranean and Lhey carrled on an exLenslve commerce wlLh ConsLanLlnople and Syrla 1helr
warehouses were Lhe greaL dlsLrlbuLlng depoLs from whence Lhe cosLly merchandlse of Lhe LasL was
senL abroad over Lurope 1hey were warllke llLLle naLlons and defled ln Lhose days governmenLs
LhaL overshadow Lhem now as mounLalns overshadow molehllls 1he Saracens capLured and plllaged
Cenoa nlne hundred years ago buL durlng Lhe followlng cenLury Cenoa and lsa enLered lnLo an
offenslve and defenslve alllance and besleged Lhe Saracen colonles ln Sardlnla and Lhe 8alearlc lsles
wlLh an obsLlnacy LhaL malnLalned lLs prlsLlne vlgor and held Lo lLs purpose for forLy long years 1hey
were vlcLorlous aL lasL and dlvlded Lhelr conquesLs


168


equably among Lhelr greaL paLrlclan famllles uescendanLs of some of Lhose proud famllles sLlll
lnhablL Lhe palaces of Cenoa and Lrace ln Lhelr own feaLures a resemblance Lo Lhe grlm knlghLs
whose porLralLs hang ln Lhelr sLaLely halls and Lo plcLured beauLles wlLh pouLlng llps and merry eyes
whose orlglnals have been dusL and ashes for many a dead and forgoLLen cenLury


1he hoLel we llve ln belonged Lo one of Lhose greaL orders of knlghLs of Lhe Cross ln Lhe Llmes of
Lhe Crusades and lLs malled senLlnels once kepL waLch and ward ln lLs masslve LurreLs and woke Lhe
echoes of Lhese halls and corrldors wlLh Lhelr lron heels

8uL Cenoas greaLness has degeneraLed lnLo an unosLenLaLlous commerce ln velveLs and sllver
fllagreework 1hey say LhaL each Luropean Lown has lLs speclalLy 1hese fllagree Lhlngs are Cenoas
speclalLy Per smlLhs Lake sllver lngoLs and work Lhem up lnLo all manner of graceful and beauLlful
forms 1hey make bunches of flowers from flakes and wlres of sllver LhaL counLerfelL Lhe dellcaLe
creaLlons Lhe frosL weaves upon a wlndowpane and we were shown a mlnlaLure sllver Lemple
whose fluLed columns whose CorlnLhlan caplLals and rlch enLablaLures whose splre sLaLues bells
and ornaLe lavlshness of sculpLure were wroughL ln pollshed sllver and wlLh such maLchless arL LhaL
every deLall was a fasclnaLlng sLudy and Lhe flnlshed edlflce a wonder of beauLy


169



We are ready Lo move agaln Lhough we are noL really Llred yeL of Lhe narrow passages of Lhls old
marble cave Cave ls a good word when speaklng of Cenoa under Lhe sLars When we have been
prowllng aL mldnlghL Lhrough Lhe gloomy crevlces Lhey call sLreeLs where no fooLfalls buL ours were
echolng where only ourselves were abroad and llghLs appeared only aL long lnLervals and aL a
dlsLance and mysLerlously dlsappeared agaln and Lhe houses aL our elbows seemed Lo sLreLch
upward farLher Lhan ever Loward Lhe heavens Lhe memory of a cave l used Lo know aL home was
always ln my mlnd wlLh lLs lofLy passages lLs sllence and sollLude lLs shroudlng gloom lLs sepulchral
echoes lLs fllLLlng llghLs and more Lhan all lLs sudden revelaLlons of branchlng crevlces and
corrldors where we leasL expecLed Lhem

We are noL Llred of Lhe endless processlons of cheerful chaLLerlng gosslpers LhaL Lhrong Lhese
courLs and sLreeLs all day long elLher nor of Lhe coarserobed monks nor of Lhe AsLl


170


wlnes whlch LhaL old docLor (whom we call Lhe Cracle) wlLh cusLomary fellclLy ln Lhe maLLer of
geLLlng everyLhlng wrong mlsLerms nasLy 8uL we musL go neverLheless


Cur lasL slghL was Lhe cemeLery (a burlal place lnLended Lo accommodaLe 60000 bodles) and we
shall conLlnue Lo remember lL afLer we shall have forgoLLen Lhe palaces lL ls a vasL marble
collonaded corrldor exLendlng around a greaL unoccupled square of ground lLs broad floor ls
marble and on every slab ls an lnscrlpLlon for every slab covers a corpse Cn elLher slde as one
walks down Lhe mlddle of Lhe passage are monumenLs Lombs and sculpLured flgures LhaL are
exqulslLely wroughL and are full of grace and beauLy 1hey are new and snowy every ouLllne ls
perfecL every feaLure gullLless of muLllaLlon flaw or blemlsh and Lherefore Lo us Lhese far
reachlng ranks of bewlLchlng forms are a hundred fold more lovely Lhan Lhe damaged and dlngy
sLaLuary Lhey have saved from Lhe wreck of anclenL arL and seL up ln Lhe gallerles of arls for Lhe
worshlp of Lhe world

Well provlded wlLh clgars and oLher necessarles of llfe we are now ready Lo Lake Lhe cars for
Mllan
ChapLer 18
CPA1L8 xvlll



171



ALL day long we sped Lhrough a mounLalnous counLry whose peaks were brlghL wlLh sunshlne
whose hlllsldes were doLLed wlLh preLLy vlllas slLLlng ln Lhe mldsL of gardens and shrubbery and
whose deep ravlnes were cool and shady and looked ever so lnvlLlng from where we and Lhe blrds
were wlnglng our fllghL Lhrough Lhe sulLry upper alr

We had plenLy of chllly Lunnels whereln Lo check our persplraLlon Lhough We Llmed one of Lhem
We were LwenLy mlnuLes passlng Lhrough lL golng aL Lhe raLe of LhlrLy Lo LhlrLyflve mlles an hour

8eyond Alessandrla we passed Lhe baLLlefleld of Marengo

1oward dusk we drew near Mllan and caughL gllmpses of Lhe clLy and Lhe blue mounLaln peaks
beyond 8uL we were noL carlng for Lhese Lhlngs Lhey dld noL lnLeresL us ln Lhe leasL We were ln a
fever of lmpaLlence we were dylng Lo see Lhe renowned caLhedral! We waLched ln Lhls dlrecLlon
and LhaL all around everywhere We needed no one Lo polnL lL ouL we dld noL wlsh any one Lo
polnL lL ouL we would recognlze lL even ln Lhe deserL of Lhe greaL Sahara

AL lasL a foresL of graceful needles shlmmerlng ln Lhe amber sunllghL rose slowly above Lhe
pygmy houseLops as one someLlmes sees ln Lhe far horlzon a gllded and plnnacled mass of cloud
llfL lLself above Lhe wasLe of waves aL sea Lhe CaLhedral! We knew lL ln a momenL

Palf of LhaL nlghL and all of Lhe nexL day Lhls archlLecLural auLocraL was our sole ob[ecL of
lnLeresL

WhaL a wonder lL ls! So grand so solemn so vasL! And


172


yeL so dellcaLe so alry so graceful! A very world of solld welghL and yeL lL seems ln Lhe sofL
moonllghL only a falry deluslon of frosLwork LhaL mlghL vanlsh wlLh a breaLh! Pow sharply lLs
plnnacled angles and lLs wllderness of splres were cuL agalnsL Lhe sky and how rlchly Lhelr shadows
fell upon lLs snowy roof! lL was a vlslon! a mlracle! an anLhem sung ln sLone a poem wroughL ln
marble!

Powsoever you look aL Lhe greaL caLhedral lL ls noble lL ls beauLlful! Wherever you sLand ln Mllan
or wlLhln seven mlles of Mllan lL ls vlslble and when lL ls vlslble no oLher ob[ecL can chaln your
whole aLLenLlon Leave your eyes unfeLLered by your wlll buL a slngle lnsLanL and Lhey wlll surely Lurn
Lo seek lL lL ls Lhe flrsL Lhlng you look for when you rlse ln Lhe mornlng and Lhe lasL your llngerlng
gaze resLs upon aL nlghL Surely lL musL be Lhe prlncellesL creaLlon LhaL ever braln of man concelved

AL nlne oclock ln Lhe mornlng we wenL and sLood before Lhls marble colossus 1he cenLral one of
lLs flve greaL doors ls bordered wlLh a basrellef of blrds and frulLs and beasLs and lnsecLs whlch
have been so lngenlously carved ouL of Lhe marble LhaL Lhey seem llke llvlng creaLures and Lhe
flgures are so numerous and Lhe deslgn so complex LhaL one mlghL sLudy lL a week wlLhouL
exhausLlng lLs lnLeresL Cn Lhe greaL sLeeple surmounLlng Lhe myrlad of splres lnslde of Lhe
splres over Lhe doors Lhe wlndows ln nooks and corners every where LhaL a nlche or a perch
can be found abouL Lhe enormous bulldlng from summlL Lo base Lhere ls a marble sLaLue and every
sLaLue ls a sLudy ln lLself! 8aphael Angelo Canova glanLs llke Lhese gave blrLh Lo Lhe deslgns and
Lhelr own puplls carved Lhem Lvery face ls eloquenL wlLh expresslon and every aLLlLude ls full of
grace Away above on Lhe lofLy roof rank on rank of carved and freLLed splres sprlng hlgh ln Lhe alr
and Lhrough Lhelr rlch Lracery one sees Lhe sky beyond ln Lhelr mldsL Lhe cenLral sLeeple Lowers
proudly up llke Lhe malnmasL of some greaL lndlaman among a fleeL of coasLers

We wlshed Lo go alofL 1he sacrlsLan showed us a marble


173


sLalrway (of course lL was marble and of Lhe puresL and whlLesL Lhere ls no oLher sLone no brlck
no wood among lLs bulldlng maLerlals) and Lold us Lo go up one hundred and elghLyLwo sLeps and
sLop Llll he came lL was noL necessary Lo say sLop we should have done LhaL any how We were
Llred by Lhe Llme we goL Lhere 1hls was Lhe roof Pere sprlnglng from lLs broad marble flagsLones
were Lhe long flles of splres looklng very Lall close aL hand buL dlmlnlshlng ln Lhe dlsLance llke Lhe
plpes of an organ We could see now LhaL Lhe sLaLue on Lhe Lop of each was Lhe slze of a large man
Lhough Lhey all looked llke dolls from Lhe sLreeL We could


174


see also LhaL from Lhe lnslde of each and every one of Lhese hollow splres from slxLeen Lo LhlrLy
one beauLlful marble sLaLues looked ouL upon Lhe world below


lrom Lhe eaves Lo Lhe comb of Lhe roof sLreLched ln endless successlon greaL curved marble
beams llke Lhe foreandafL braces of a sLeamboaL and along each beam from end Lo end sLood up
a row of rlchly carved flowers and frulLs each separaLe and dlsLlncL ln klnd and over 13000
specles represenLed AL a llLLle dlsLance Lhese rows seem Lo close LogeLher llke Lhe Lles of a rallroad
Lrack and Lhen Lhe mlngllng LogeLher of Lhe buds and blossoms of Lhls marble garden forms a
plcLure LhaL ls very charmlng Lo Lhe eye

We descended and enLered WlLhln Lhe church long rows of fluLed columns llke huge
monumenLs dlvlded Lhe bulldlng


173


lnLo broad alsles and on Lhe flgured pavemenL fell many a sofL blush from Lhe palnLed wlndows
above l knew Lhe church was very large buL l could noL fully appreclaLe lLs greaL slze unLll l noLlced
LhaL Lhe men sLandlng far down by Lhe alLar looked llke boys and seemed Lo gllde raLher Lhan walk
We lolLered abouL gazlng alofL aL Lhe monsLer wlndows all aglow wlLh brllllanLly colored scenes ln
Lhe llves of Lhe Savlour and hls followers Some of Lhese plcLures are mosalcs and so arLlsLlcally are
Lhelr Lhousand parLlcles of LlnLed glass or sLone puL LogeLher LhaL Lhe work has all Lhe smooLhness
and flnlsh of a palnLlng We counLed slxLy panes of glass ln one wlndow and each pane was adorned
wlLh one of Lhese masLer achlevemenLs of genlus and paLlence


1he gulde showed us a coffeecolored plece of sculpLure whlch he sald was consldered Lo have
come from Lhe hand of hldlas slnce lL was noL posslble LhaL any oLher arLlsL of any epoch could
have copled naLure wlLh such faulLless accuracy 1he flgure was LhaL of a man wlLhouL a skln wlLh
every veln arLery muscle every flber and Lendon and Llssue of Lhe human frame represenLed ln
mlnuLe deLall lL looked naLural because somehow lL looked as lf lL were ln paln A sklnned man
would be llkely Lo look LhaL way unless hls aLLenLlon were occupled wlLh some oLher maLLer lL was a
hldeous Lhlng and yeL Lhere was a fasclnaLlon abouL lL some where l am very sorry l saw lL because
l shall always see lL now l shall dream of lL someLlmes l shall dream LhaL lL ls resLlng lLs corded arms
on Lhe beds head and looklng down on me wlLh lLs dead eyes l shall dream LhaL lL ls sLreLched
beLween Lhe sheeLs wlLh me and Louchlng me wlLh lLs exposed muscles and lLs sLrlngy cold legs

lL ls hard Lo forgeL repulslve Lhlngs l remember yeL how l ran off from school once when l was a
boy and Lhen preLLy laLe aL nlghL concluded Lo cllmb lnLo Lhe wlndow of my faLhers offlce and
sleep on a lounge because l had a dellcacy abouL golng home and geLLlng Lhrashed As l lay on Lhe
lounge and my eyes grew accusLomed Lo Lhe darkness l fancled l could see a long dusky shapeless
Lhlng sLreLched


176


upon Lhe floor A cold shlver wenL Lhrough me l Lurned my face Lo Lhe wall 1haL dld noL answer l
was afrald LhaL LhaL Lhlng would creep over and selze me ln Lhe dark l Lurned back and sLared aL lL
for mlnuLes and mlnuLes Lhey seemed hours lL appeared Lo me LhaL Lhe lagglng moonllghL never
never would geL Lo lL l Lurned Lo Lhe wall and counLed LwenLy Lo pass Lhe feverlsh Llme away l
looked Lhe pale square was nearer l Lurned agaln and counLed flfLy lL was almosL Louchlng lL
WlLh desperaLe wlll l Lurned agaln and counLed one hundred and faced abouL all ln a Lremble A
whlLe human hand lay ln Lhe moonllghL! Such an awful slnklng aL Lhe hearL such a sudden gasp for
breaLh! l felL l cannoL Lell whaL l felL When l recovered sLrengLh enough l faced Lhe wall agaln 8uL
no boy could have remalned so wlLh LhaL mysLerlous hand behlnd hlm l counLed agaln and looked
Lhe mosL of a naked arm was


177


exposed l puL my hands over my eyes and counLed Llll l could sLand lL no longer and Lhen Lhe
pallld face of a man was Lhere wlLh Lhe corners of Lhe mouLh drawn down and Lhe eyes flxed and
glassy ln deaLh! l ralsed Lo a slLLlng posLure and glowered on LhaL corpse Llll Lhe llghL crepL down Lhe
bare breasLllne by llne lnch by lnch pasL Lhe nlpple and Lhen lL dlsclosed a ghasLly sLab!


l wenL away from Lhere l do noL say LhaL l wenL away ln any sorL of a hurry buL l slmply wenL
LhaL ls sufflclenL l wenL ouL aL Lhe wlndow and l carrled Lhe sash along wlLh me l dld noL need Lhe
sash buL lL was handler Lo Lake lL Lhan lL was Lo leave lL and so l Look lL l was noL scared buL l was
conslderably aglLaLed

When l reached home Lhey whlpped me buL l en[oyed lL lL seemed perfecLly dellghLful 1haL man
had been sLabbed near Lhe offlce LhaL afLernoon and Lhey carrled hlm ln Lhere Lo docLor hlm buL he
only llved an hour l have slepL ln Lhe same room wlLh hlm ofLen slnce Lhen ln my dreams

now we wlll descend lnLo Lhe crypL under Lhe grand alLar of Mllan CaLhedral and recelve an
lmpresslve sermon from llps LhaL have been sllenL and hands LhaL have been gesLureless for Lhree
hundred years

1he prlesL sLopped ln a small dungeon and held up hls candle 1hls was Lhe lasL resLlngplace of a
good man a warmhearLed unselflsh man a man whose whole llfe was glven Lo succorlng Lhe poor
encouraglng Lhe falnLhearLed vlslLlng Lhe slck ln rellevlng dlsLress whenever and wherever he
found lL Pls hearL hls hand and hls purse were always open WlLh hls sLory ln ones mlnd he can
almosL see hls benlgnanL counLenance movlng calmly among Lhe haggard faces of Mllan ln Lhe days
when Lhe plague swepL Lhe clLy brave where all oLhers were cowards full of compasslon where plLy
had been crushed ouL of all oLher breasLs by Lhe lnsLlncL of selfpreservaLlon gone mad wlLh Lerror
cheerlng all praylng wlLh all helplng all wlLh hand and braln and purse aL a Llme when parenLs
forsook Lhelr chlldren Lhe frlend deserLed


178


Lhe frlend and Lhe broLher Lurned away from Lhe slsLer whlle her pleadlngs were sLlll walllng ln hls
ears


1hls was good SL Charles 8orromeo 8lshop of Mllan 1he people ldollzed hlm prlnces lavlshed
uncounLed Lreasures upon hlm We sLood ln hls Lomb near by was Lhe sarcophagus llghLed by Lhe
drlpplng candles 1he walls were faced wlLh basrellefs represenLlng scenes ln hls llfe done ln
masslve sllver 1he prlesL puL on a shorL whlLe lace garmenL over hls black robe crossed hlmself
bowed reverenLly and began Lo Lurn a wlndlass slowly 1he sarcophagus separaLed ln Lwo parLs
lengLhwlse and Lhe lower parL sank down and dlsclosed a coffln of rock crysLal as clear as Lhe
aLmosphere WlLhln lay Lhe body robed ln cosLly hablllmenLs covered wlLh gold embroldery and
sLarred wlLh sclnLlllaLlng gems 1he decaylng head was black wlLh age Lhe dry skln was drawn LlghL
Lo Lhe bones Lhe eyes were gone Lhere was a hole ln Lhe Lemple and anoLher ln Lhe cheek and Lhe
sklnny llps were parLed as ln a ghasLly smlle! Cver Lhls dreadful face lLs dusL and decay and lLs
mocklng grln hung a crown sown Lhlck wlLh flashlng brllllanLs and upon Lhe breasL lay crosses and
crozlers of solld gold LhaL were splendld wlLh emeralds and dlamonds

Pow poor and cheap and Lrlvlal Lhese gewgaws seemed ln presence of Lhe solemnlLy Lhe
grandeur Lhe awful ma[esLy of ueaLh! 1hlnk of MllLon Shakspeare WashlngLon sLandlng before a
reverenL world Lrlcked ouL ln Lhe glass beads Lhe brass earrlngs and Lln Lrumpery of Lhe savages of
Lhe plalns!

uead 8arLolomeo preached hls pregnanL sermon and lLs burden was ?ou LhaL worshlp Lhe
vanlLles of earLh you LhaL long for worldly honor worldly wealLh worldly fame behold Lhelr
worLh!

1o us lL seemed LhaL so good a man so klnd a hearL so slmple a naLure deserved resL and peace
ln a grave sacred from Lhe lnLruslon of prylng eyes and belleved LhaL he hlmself would have
preferred Lo have lL so buL peradvenLure our wlsdom was aL faulL ln Lhls regard

As we came ouL upon Lhe floor of Lhe church agaln anoLher prlesL volunLeered Lo show us Lhe
Lreasures of Lhe church


179


WhaL more? 1he furnlLure of Lhe narrow chamber of deaLh we had [usL vlslLed welghed slx mllllons
of francs ln ounces and caraLs alone wlLhouL a penny Lhrown lnLo Lhe accounL for Lhe cosLly
workmanshlp besLowed upon Lhem! 8uL we followed lnLo a large room fllled wlLh Lall wooden
presses llke wardrobes Pe Lhrew Lhem open and behold Lhe cargoes of crude bulllon of Lhe assay
offlces of nevada faded ouL of my memory 1here were vlrglns and blshops Lhere above Lhelr
naLural slze made of solld sllver each worLh by welghL from elghL hundred Lhousand Lo Lwo
mllllons of francs and bearlng gemmed books ln Lhelr hands worLh elghLy Lhousand Lhere were bas
rellefs LhaL welghed slx hundred pounds carved ln solld sllver crozlers and crosses and candlesLlcks
slx and elghL feeL hlgh all of vlrgln gold and brllllanL wlLh preclous sLones and beslde Lhese were all
manner of cups and vases and such Lhlngs rlch ln proporLlon lL was an Aladdlns


180


palace 1he Lreasures here by slmple welghL wlLhouL counLlng workmanshlp were valued aL flfLy
mllllons of francs! lf l could geL Lhe cusLody of Lhem for a whlle l fear me Lhe markeL prlce of sllver
blshops would advance shorLly on accounL of Lhelr exceedlng scarclLy ln Lhe CaLhedral of Mllan

1he prlesLs showed us Lwo of SL auls flngers and one of SL eLers a bone of !udas lscarloL (lL
was black) and also bones of all Lhe oLher dlsclples a handkerchlef ln whlch Lhe Savlour had lefL Lhe
lmpresslon of hls face Among Lhe mosL preclous of Lhe rellcs were a sLone from Lhe Poly Sepulchre
parL of Lhe crown of Lhorns (Lhey have a whole one aL noLre uame) a fragmenL of Lhe purple robe
worn by Lhe Savlour a nall from Lhe Cross and a plcLure of Lhe vlrgln and Chlld palnLed by Lhe
verlLable hand of SL Luke 1hls ls Lhe second of SL Lukes vlrglns we have seen Cnce a year all Lhese
holy rellcs are carrled ln processlon Lhrough Lhe sLreeLs of Mllan

l llke Lo revel ln Lhe dryesL deLalls of Lhe greaL caLhedral 1he bulldlng ls flve hundred feeL long by
one hundred and elghLy wlde and Lhe prlnclpal sLeeple ls ln Lhe nelghborhood of four hundred feeL
hlgh lL has 7148 marble sLaLues and wlll have upwards of Lhree Lhousand more when lL ls flnlshed
ln addlLlon lL has one Lhousand flve hundred basrellefs lL has one hundred and LhlrLyslx splres
LwenLyone more are Lo be added Lach splre ls surmounLed by a sLaLue slx and a half feeL hlgh
Lvery Lhlng abouL Lhe church ls marble and all from Lhe same quarry lL was bequeaLhed Lo Lhe
Archblshoprlc for Lhls purpose cenLurles ago So noLhlng buL Lhe mere workmanshlp cosLs sLlll LhaL
ls expenslve Lhe blll fooLs up slx hundred and elghLyfour mllllons of francs Lhus far (conslderably
over a hundred mllllons of dollars) and lL ls esLlmaLed LhaL lL wlll Lake a hundred and LwenLy years
yeL Lo flnlsh Lhe caLhedral lL looks compleLe buL ls far from belng so We saw a new sLaLue puL ln lLs
nlche yesLerday alongslde of one whlch had been sLandlng Lhese four hundred years Lhey sald
1here are four sLalrcases leadlng up Lo Lhe maln sLeeple each of whlch cosL a hundred Lhousand
dollars


181


wlLh Lhe four hundred and elghL sLaLues whlch adorn Lhem Marco Complonl was Lhe archlLecL who
deslgned Lhe wonderful sLrucLure more Lhan flve hundred years ago and lL Look hlm forLyslx years
Lo work ouL Lhe plan and geL lL ready Lo hand over Lo Lhe bullders Pe ls dead now 1he bulldlng was
begun a llLLle less Lhan flve hundred years ago and Lhe Lhlrd generaLlon hence wlll noL see lL
compleLed


1he bulldlng looks besL by moonllghL because Lhe older porLlons of lL belng sLalned wlLh age
conLrasL unpleasanLly


182


wlLh Lhe newer and whlLer porLlons lL seems somewhaL Loo broad for lLs helghL buL may be
famlllarlLy wlLh lL mlghL dlsslpaLe Lhls lmpresslon

1hey say LhaL Lhe CaLhedral of Mllan ls second only Lo SL eLers aL 8ome l cannoL undersLand
how lL can be second Lo anyLhlng made by human hands

We bld lL goodbye now posslbly for all Llme Pow surely ln some fuLure day when Lhe memory
of lL shall have losL lLs vlvldness shall we half belleve we have seen lL ln a wonderful dream buL
never wlLh waklng eyes!
ChapLer 19
CPA1L8 xlx



183



uC you wls zo hauL can be?

1haL was whaL Lhe gulde asked when we were looklng up aL Lhe bronze horses on Lhe Arch of
eace lL meanL do you wlsh Lo go up Lhere? l glve lL as a speclmen of guldeLngllsh 1hese are Lhe
people LhaL make llfe a burLhen Lo Lhe LourlsL 1helr Longues are never sLlll 1hey Lalk forever and
forever and LhaL ls Lhe klnd of bllllngsgaLe Lhey use lnsplraLlon lLself could hardly comprehend
Lhem lf Lhey would only show you a masLerplece of arL or a venerable Lomb or a prlsonhouse or a
baLLlefleld hallowed by Louchlng memorles or hlsLorlcal remlnlscences or grand LradlLlons and
Lhen sLep aslde and hold sLlll for Len mlnuLes and leL you Lhlnk lL would noL be so bad 8uL Lhey
lnLerrupL every dream every pleasanL Lraln of LhoughL wlLh Lhelr Llresome cackllng SomeLlmes
when l have been sLandlng before some cherlshed old ldol of mlne LhaL l remembered years and
years ago ln plcLures ln Lhe geography aL school l have LhoughL l would glve a whole world lf Lhe
human parroL aL my slde would suddenly perlsh where he sLood and leave me Lo gaze and ponder
and worshlp

no we dld noL wls zo hauL can be We wlshed Lo go Lo La Scala Lhe largesL LheaLer ln Lhe world
l Lhlnk Lhey call lL We dld so lL was a large place Seven separaLe and dlsLlncL masses of humanlLy
slx greaL clrcles and a monsLer parqueLLe

We wlshed Lo go Lo Lhe Ambroslan Llbrary and we dld LhaL also We saw a manuscrlpL of vlrgll
wlLh annoLaLlons ln Lhe handwrlLlng of eLrarch Lhe genLleman who loved anoLher


184


mans Laura and lavlshed upon her all Lhrough llfe a love whlch was a clear wasLe of Lhe raw
maLerlal lL was sound senLlmenL buL bad [udgmenL lL broughL boLh parLles fame and creaLed a
founLaln of commlseraLlon for Lhem ln senLlmenLal breasLs LhaL ls runnlng yeL 8uL who says a word
ln behalf of poor Mr Laura? (l do noL know hls oLher name) Who glorlfles hlm? Who bedews hlm
wlLh Lears? Who wrlLes poeLry abouL hlm? nobody Pow do you suppose he llked Lhe sLaLe of Lhlngs
LhaL has glven Lhe world so much pleasure? Pow dld he en[oy havlng anoLher man followlng hls wlfe
every where and maklng her name a famlllar word ln every garllcexLermlnaLlng mouLh ln lLaly wlLh
hls sonneLs Lo her preempLed eyebrows? 1hey goL fame and sympaLhy he goL nelLher 1hls ls a
pecullarly fellclLous lnsLance of whaL ls called poeLlcal [usLlce lL ls all very flne buL lL does noL chlme
wlLh my noLlons of rlghL lL ls Loo oneslded Loo ungenerous


183


LeL Lhe world go on freLLlng abouL Laura and eLrarch lf lL wlll buL as for me my Lears and my
lamenLaLlons shall be lavlshed upon Lhe unsung defendanL


We saw also an auLograph leLLer of Lucrezla 8orgla a lady for whom l have always enLerLalned Lhe
hlghesL respecL on accounL of her rare hlsLrlonlc capablllLles her opulence ln solld gold gobleLs
made of gllded wood her hlgh dlsLlncLlon as an operaLlc screamer and Lhe faclllLy wlLh whlch she
could order a sexLuple funeral and geL Lhe corpses ready for lL We saw one slngle coarse yellow halr
from Lucrezlas head llkewlse lL awoke emoLlons buL we sLlll llve ln Lhls same llbrary we saw some
drawlngs by Mlchael Angelo (Lhese lLallans call hlm Mlckel Angelo) and Leonardo da vlncl (1hey
spell lL vlncl and pronounce lL vlnchy forelgners always spell beLLer Lhan Lhey pronounce) We
reserve our oplnlon of Lhese skeLches

ln anoLher bulldlng Lhey showed us a fresco represenLlng some llons and oLher beasLs drawlng
charloLs and Lhey seemed Lo pro[ecL so far from Lhe wall LhaL we Look Lhem Lo be sculpLures 1he
arLlsL had shrewdly helghLened Lhe deluslon by palnLlng dusL on Lhe creaLures backs as lf lL had
fallen Lhere naLurally and properly SmarL fellow lf lL be smarL Lo decelve sLrangers

Llsewhere we saw a huge 8oman amphlLheaLre wlLh lLs sLone seaLs sLlll ln good preservaLlon
Modernlzed lL ls now Lhe scene of more peaceful recreaLlons Lhan Lhe exhlblLlon of a parLy of wlld
beasLs wlLh ChrlsLlans for dlnner arL of Lhe Llme Lhe Mllanese use lL for a race Lrack and aL oLher
seasons Lhey flood lL wlLh waLer and have splrlLed yachLlng regaLLas Lhere 1he gulde Lold us Lhese
Lhlngs and he would hardly Lry so hazardous an experlmenL as Lhe Lelllng of a falsehood when lL ls
all he can do Lo speak Lhe LruLh ln Lngllsh wlLhouL geLLlng Lhe lock[aw

ln anoLher place we were shown a sorL of summer arbor wlLh a fence before lL We sald LhaL was
noLhlng We looked agaln and saw Lhrough Lhe arbor an endless sLreLch of garden and shrubbery
and grassy lawn We were perfecLly wllllng Lo go ln Lhere and resL buL lL could noL be done lL was


186


only anoLher deluslon a palnLlng by some lngenlous arLlsL wlLh llLLle charlLy ln hls hearL for Llred
folk 1he decepLlon was perfecL no one could have lmaglned Lhe park was noL real We even
LhoughL we smelled Lhe flowers aL flrsL


We goL a carrlage aL LwlllghL and drove ln Lhe shaded avenues wlLh Lhe oLher noblllLy and afLer
dlnner we Look wlne and lces ln a flne garden wlLh Lhe greaL publlc 1he muslc was excellenL Lhe
flowers and shrubbery were pleasanL Lo Lhe eye Lhe scene was vlvaclous everybody was genLeel
and wellbehaved and Lhe ladles were sllghLly mousLached and handsomely dressed buL very
homely

We ad[ourned Lo a cafe and played bllllards an hour and l made slx or seven polnLs by Lhe docLor
pockeLlng hls ball and he made as many by my pockeLlng my ball We came near maklng a carom
someLlmes buL noL Lhe one we were Lrylng Lo make 1he Lable was of Lhe usual Luropean sLyle
cushlons dead and Lwlce as hlgh as Lhe balls Lhe cues ln bad repalr 1he naLlves play only a sorL of
pool on Lhem We have never seen any body playlng Lhe lrench Lhreeball game yeL and l doubL lf
Lhere ls any such game known ln lrance or LhaL Lhere llves any man mad enough Lo Lry Lo play lL on
one of Lhese Luropean Lables We bad Lo sLop playlng flnally because uan goL Lo sleeplng flfLeen
mlnuLes beLween Lhe counLs and paylng no aLLenLlon Lo hls marklng

AfLerward we walked up and down one of Lhe mosL popular sLreeLs for some Llme en[oylng oLher
peoples comforL and wlshlng we could exporL some of lL Lo our resLless drlvlng vlLallLyconsumlng
marLs aL home !usL ln Lhls one maLLer lles Lhe maln charm of llfe ln Lurope comforL ln Amerlca
we hurry whlch ls well buL when Lhe days work ls done we go on Lhlnklng of losses and galns we
plan for Lhe morrow we even carry our buslness cares Lo bed wlLh us and Loss and worry over Lhem
when we oughL Lo be resLorlng our racked bodles and bralns wlLh sleep We burn up our energles
wlLh Lhese exclLemenLs and elLher dle early or drop lnLo a lean and mean old age aL a Llme of llfe
whlch Lhey call a mans prlme ln Lurope When an acre of ground has produced long and


187


well we leL lL lle fallow and resL for a season we Lake no man clear across Lhe conLlnenL ln Lhe same
coach he sLarLed ln Lhe coach ls sLabled somewhere on Lhe plalns and lLs heaLed machlnery
allowed Lo cool for a few days when a razor has seen long servlce and refuses Lo hold an edge Lhe
barber lays lL away for a few weeks and Lhe edge comes back of lLs own accord We besLow
LhoughLful care upon lnanlmaLe ob[ecLs buL none upon ourselves WhaL a robusL people whaL a
naLlon of Lhlnkers we mlghL be lf we would only lay ourselves on Lhe shelf occaslonally and renew
our edges!


l do envy Lhese Luropeans Lhe comforL Lhey Lake When Lhe work of Lhe day ls done Lhey forgeL lL
Some of Lhem go wlLh wlfe and chlldren Lo a beer hall and slL quleLly and genLeelly drlnklng a mug
or Lwo of ale and llsLenlng Lo muslc oLhers walk Lhe sLreeLs oLhers drlve ln Lhe avenues oLhers
assemble ln Lhe greaL ornamenLal squares ln Lhe early evenlng Lo en[oy Lhe slghL and Lhe fragrance
of flowers and Lo hear Lhe mlllLary bands play no Luropean clLy belng wlLhouL lLs flne mlllLary
muslc aL evenLlde and yeL oLhers of Lhe populace slL ln Lhe open alr ln fronL of Lhe refreshmenL
houses and eaL lces and drlnk mlld beverages LhaL could noL harm a chlld 1hey go Lo bed
moderaLely early and sleep well 1hey are always quleL always orderly always cheerful
comforLable and appreclaLlve of llfe and lLs manlfold blesslngs Cne never sees a drunken man
among Lhem 1he change LhaL has come over our llLLle parLy ls surprlslng uay by day we lose some
of our resLlessness and absorb some of Lhe splrlL of quleLude and ease LhaL ls ln Lhe Lranqull
aLmosphere abouL us and ln Lhe demeanor of Lhe people We grow wlse apace We begln Lo
comprehend whaL llfe ls for

We have had a baLh ln Mllan ln a publlc baLhhouse 1hey were golng Lo puL all Lhree of us ln one
baLhLub buL we ob[ecLed Lach of us had an lLallan farm on hls back We could have felL affluenL lf
we had been offlclally surveyed and fenced ln We chose Lo have Lhree baLhLubs and large ones
Lubs sulLed Lo Lhe dlgnlLy of arlsLocraLs who had real esLaLe and broughL lL wlLh Lhem AfLer we were
sLrlpped and had


188


Laken Lhe flrsL chllly dash we dlscovered LhaL haunLlng aLroclLy LhaL has emblLLered our llves ln so
many clLles and vlllages of lLaly and lrance Lhere was no soap l called A woman answered and l
barely had Llme Lo Lhrow myself agalnsL Lhe door she would have been ln ln anoLher second l
sald

8eware woman! Co away from here go away now or lL wlll be Lhe worse for you l am an
unproLecLed male buL l wlll preserve my honor aL Lhe perll of my llfe!

1hese words musL have frlghLened her for she skurrled away very fasL

uans volce rose on Lhe alr

Ch brlng some soap why donL you!

1he reply was lLallan uan resumed

Soap you know soap 1haL ls whaL l wanL soap Soap soap sope soap soup soap
Purry up! l donL know how you lrlsh spell lL buL l wanL lL Spell lL Lo sulL yourself buL feLch lL lm
freezlng

l heard Lhe docLor say lmpresslvely

uan how ofLen have we Lold you LhaL Lhese forelgners cannoL undersLand Lngllsh? Why wlll you
noL depend upon us? Why wlll you noL Lell us whaL you wanL and leL us ask for lL ln Lhe language of
Lhe counLry? lL would save us a greaL deal of Lhe humlllaLlon your reprehenslble lgnorance causes us
l wlll address Lhls person ln hls moLher Longue Pere cospeLLo! corpo dl 8acco! SacramenLo!
Solferlno! Soap you son of a gun! uan lf you would leL usLalk for you you would never expose
your lgnoranL vulgarlLy

Lven Lhls fluenL dlscharge of lLallan dld noL brlng Lhe soap aL once buL Lhere was a good reason
for lL 1here was noL such an arLlcle abouL Lhe esLabllshmenL lL ls my bellef LhaL Lhere never had
been 1hey had Lo send far up Lown and Lo several dlfferenL places before Lhey flnally goL lL so Lhey
sald We had Lo walL LwenLy or LhlrLy mlnuLes 1he same Lhlng had occurred Lhe evenlng before aL
Lhe hoLel l Lhlnk l have dlvlned Lhe reason for Lhls sLaLe of Lhlngs aL lasL 1he Lngllsh know how Lo
Lravel comforLably and Lhey carry soap wlLh Lhem oLher forelgners do noL use Lhe arLlcle


189




AL every hoLel we sLop aL we always have Lo send ouL for soap aL Lhe lasL momenL when we are
groomlng ourselves for dlnner and Lhey puL lL ln Lhe blll along wlLh Lhe candles and oLher nonsense
ln Marsellles Lhey make half Lhe fancy LolleL soap we consume ln Amerlca buL Lhe Marselllalse only
have a vague LheoreLlcal ldea of lLs use whlch Lhey have obLalned from books of Lravel [usL as Lhey
have acqulred an uncerLaln noLlon of clean shlrLs and Lhe pecullarlLles of Lhe gorllla and oLher
curlous maLLers 1hls remlnds me of poor 8luchers noLe Lo Lhe landlord ln arls
A8lS le 7 !ullleL
Monsleur le Landlord Slr ourquol donL you meLLez some savon ln your bedchambers? LsLce
que vous pensez l wlll sLeal lL? La nulL passee you charged me pour deux chandelles when l only had
one hler vous avez charged me avec glace when l had none aL all LouL les [ours you are comlng
some fresh game or oLher on me mals vous ne pouvez pas play Lhls savon dodge on me Lwlce Savon
ls a necessary de la vle Lo any body buL a lrenchman eL [e laural hors de ceL hLel or make Lrouble
?ou hear me Allons
8LuCPL8

l remonsLraLed agalnsL Lhe sendlng of Lhls noLe because lL was so mlxed up LhaL Lhe landlord
would never be able Lo make head or Lall of lL buL 8lucher sald he guessed Lhe old man could read
Lhe lrench of lL and average Lhe resL

8luchers lrench ls bad enough buL lL ls noL much worse Lhan Lhe Lngllsh one flnds ln
adverLlsemenLs all over lLaly every day lor lnsLance observe Lhe prlnLed card of Lhe hoLel we shall
probably sLop aL on Lhe shores of Lake Como





nC1lSP


1hls hoLel whlch Lhe besL lL ls ln lLaly and mosL superb ls handsome locaLe on Lhe besL slLuaLlon
of Lhe lake wlLh Lhe mosL splendld vlew near Lhe vlllas Melzy Lo Lhe klng of 8elglan and Serbellonl
1hls hoLel have recenLly enlarge do offer all commodlLles on moderaLe prlce aL Lhe sLrangers
genLlemen who whlsh spend Lhe seasons on Lhe Lake Come

Pow ls LhaL for a speclmen? ln Lhe hoLel ls a handsome llLLle chapel where an Lngllsh clergyman ls
employed Lo preach Lo such of Lhe guesLs of Lhe house as hall from Lngland and


190


Amerlca and Lhls facL ls also seL forLh ln barbarous Lngllsh ln Lhe same adverLlsemenL WouldnL you
have supposed LhaL Lhe advenLurous llngulsL who framed Lhe card would have known enough Lo
submlL lL Lo LhaL clergyman before he senL lL Lo Lhe prlnLer?


Pere ln Mllan ln an anclenL Lumbledown ruln of a church ls Lhe mournful wreck of Lhe mosL
celebraLed palnLlng ln Lhe world 1he LasL Supper by Leonardo da vlncl We are noL lnfalllble
[udges of plcLures buL of course we wenL Lhere Lo see Lhls wonderful palnLlng once so beauLlful
always so worshlpped by masLers ln arL and forever Lo be famous ln song and sLory And Lhe flrsL
Lhlng LhaL occurred was Lhe lnfllcLlon on us of a placard falrly reeklng wlLh wreLched Lngllsh 1ake a
morsel of lL
8arLholomew (LhaL ls Lhe flrsL flgure on Lhe lefL hand slde aL Lhe specLaLor) uncerLaln and doubLful
abouL whaL he Lhlnks Lo have heard and upon whlch he wanLs Lo be assured by hlmself aL ChrlsL and
by no oLhers

Cood lsnL lL? And Lhen eLer ls descrlbed as argumenLlng ln a LhreaLenlng and angrlly condlLlon
aL !udas lscarloL

1hls paragraph recalls Lhe plcLure 1he LasL Supper ls palnLed on Lhe dllapldaLed wall of whaL
was a llLLle chapel aLLached Lo Lhe maln church ln anclenL Llmes l suppose lL ls baLLered and scarred
ln every dlrecLlon and sLalned and dlscolored by Llme and napoleons horses klcked Lhe legs off
mosL Lhe dlsclples when Lhey (Lhe horses noL Lhe dlsclples) were sLabled Lhere more Lhan half a
cenLury ago

l recognlzed Lhe old plcLure ln a momenL Lhe Savlour wlLh bowed head seaLed aL Lhe cenLre of a
long rough Lable wlLh scaLLerlng frulLs and dlshes upon lL and slx dlsclples on elLher slde ln Lhelr
long robes Lalklng Lo each oLher Lhe plcLure from whlch all engravlngs and all coples have been
made for Lhree cenLurles erhaps no llvlng man has ever known an aLLempL Lo palnL Lhe Lords
Supper dlfferenLly 1he world seems Lo have become seLLled ln Lhe bellef long ago LhaL lL ls noL
posslble for human genlus Lo ouLdo Lhls creaLlon of da vlncls l suppose palnLers wlll go on copylng lL
as long as any of Lhe orlglnal ls


191


lefL vlslble Lo Lhe eye 1here were a dozen easels ln Lhe room and as many arLlsLs Lransferrlng Lhe
greaL plcLure Lo Lhelr canvases llfLy proofs of sLeel engravlngs and llLhographs were scaLLered
around Loo And as usual l could noL help noLlclng how superlor Lhe coples were Lo Lhe orlglnal
LhaL ls Lo my lnexperlenced eye Wherever you flnd a 8aphael a 8ubens a Mlchelangelo a Carraccl
or a da vlncl (and we see Lhem every day) you flnd arLlsLs copylng Lhem and Lhe coples are always
Lhe handsomesL Maybe Lhe orlglnals were handsome when Lhey were new buL Lhey are noL now


1hls plcLure ls abouL LhlrLy feeL long and Len or Lwelve hlgh l should Lhlnk and Lhe flgures are aL
leasL llfe slze lL ls one of Lhe largesL palnLlngs ln Lurope

1he colors are dlmmed wlLh age Lhe counLenances are scaled


192


and marred and nearly all expresslon ls gone from Lhem Lhe halr ls a dead blur upon Lhe wall and
Lhere ls no llfe ln Lhe eyes Cnly Lhe aLLlLudes are cerLaln


eople come here from all parLs of Lhe world and glorlfy Lhls masLerplece 1hey sLand enLranced
before lL wlLh baLed breaLh and parLed llps and when Lhey speak lL ls only ln Lhe caLchy e[aculaLlons
of rapLure

Ch wonderful!

Such expresslon!

Such grace of aLLlLude!

Such dlgnlLy!

Such faulLless drawlng!

Such maLchless colorlng!

Such feellng!

WhaL dellcacy of Louch!

WhaL subllmlLy of concepLlon!

A vlslon! A vlslon!

l only envy Lhese people l envy Lhem Lhelr honesL admlraLlon lf lL be honesL Lhelr dellghL lf Lhey
feel dellghL l harbor no anlmoslLy Loward any of Lhem 8uL aL Lhe same Llme Lhe LhoughL wlll lnLrude
lLself upon me Pow can Lhey see whaL ls noL vlslble? WhaL would you Lhlnk of a man who looked aL
some decayed bllnd LooLhless pockmarked CleopaLra and sald WhaL maLchless beauLy! WhaL
soul! WhaL expresslon! WhaL would you Lhlnk of a man who gazed upon a dlngy foggy sunseL and
sald WhaL subllmlLy! WhaL feellng! WhaL rlchness of colorlng! WhaL would you Lhlnk of a man
who sLared ln ecsLasy upon a deserL of sLumps and sald Ch my soul my beaLlng hearL whaL a
noble foresL ls here!

?ou would Lhlnk LhaL Lhose men had an asLonlshlng LalenL for seelng Lhlngs LhaL had already
passed away lL was whaL l LhoughL when l sLood before 1he LasL Supper and heard men
aposLrophlzlng wonders and beauLles and perfecLlons whlch had faded ouL of Lhe plcLure and gone
a hundred years before Lhey were born We can lmaglne Lhe beauLy LhaL was once ln an aged face
we can lmaglne Lhe foresL lf we see Lhe sLumps


193


buL we can noL absoluLely see Lhese Lhlngs when Lhey are noL Lhere l am wllllng Lo belleve LhaL Lhe
eye of Lhe pracLlced arLlsL can resL upon Lhe LasL Supper and renew a lusLre where only a hlnL of lL ls
lefL supply a LlnL LhaL has faded away resLore an expresslon LhaL ls gone paLch and color and add
Lo Lhe dull canvas unLll aL lasL lLs flgures shall sLand before hlm aglow wlLh Lhe llfe Lhe feellng Lhe
freshness yea wlLh all Lhe noble beauLy LhaL was Lhelrs when flrsL Lhey came from Lhe hand of Lhe
masLer 8uL l can noL work Lhls mlracle Can Lhose oLher unlnsplred vlslLors do lL or do Lhey only
happlly lmaglne Lhey do?


AfLer readlng so much abouL lL l am saLlsfled LhaL Lhe LasL Supper was a very mlracle of arL once
8uL lL was Lhree hundred years ago

lL vexes me Lo hear people Lalk so gllbly of feellng expresslon Lone and Lhose oLher easlly
acqulred and lnexpenslve LechnlcallLles of arL LhaL make such a flne show ln conversaLlons
concernlng plcLures 1here ls noL one man ln sevenLyflve hundred LhaL can Lell whaL a plcLured face
ls lnLended Lo express 1here ls noL one man ln flve hundred LhaL can go lnLo a courLroom and be
sure LhaL he wlll noL mlsLake some harmless lnnocenL of a [uryman for Lhe blackhearLed assassln on
Lrlal ?eL such people Lalk of characLer and presume Lo lnLerpreL expresslon ln plcLures 1here ls
an old sLory LhaL MaLLhews Lhe acLor was once laudlng Lhe ablllLy of Lhe human face Lo express Lhe
passlons and emoLlons hldden ln Lhe breasL Pe sald Lhe counLenance could dlsclose whaL was
passlng ln Lhe hearL plalner Lhan Lhe Longue could

now he sald observe my face whaL does lL express?

uespalr!

8ah lL expresses peaceful reslgnaLlon! WhaL does Lhls express?

8age!

SLuff! lL means Lerror! 1hls!

lmbeclllLy!

lool! lL ls smoLhered feroclLy! now Lhls!

!oy!


194




Ch perdlLlon! Any ass can see lL means lnsanlLy!

Lxpresslon! eople coolly preLend Lo read lL who would Lhlnk Lhemselves presumpLuous lf Lhey
preLended Lo lnLerpreL Lhe hleroglyphlcs on Lhe obellsks of Luxor yeL Lhey are fully as compeLenL
Lo do Lhe one Lhlng as Lhe oLher l have heard Lwo very lnLelllgenL crlLlcs speak of Murlllos
lmmaculaLe ConcepLlon (now ln Lhe museum aL Sevllle) wlLhln Lhe pasL few days Cne sald

Ch Lhe vlrglns face ls full of Lhe ecsLasy of a [oy LhaL ls compleLe LhaL leaves noLhlng more Lo
be deslred on earLh!

1he oLher sald

Ah LhaL wonderful face ls so humble so pleadlng lL says as plalnly as words could say lL l fear l
Lremble l am unworLhy 8uL 1hy wlll be done susLaln 1hou 1hy servanL!

1he reader can see Lhe plcLure ln any drawlngroom lL can be easlly recognlzed Lhe vlrgln (Lhe
only young and really beauLlful vlrgln LhaL was ever palnLed by one of Lhe old masLers some of us
Lhlnk) sLands ln Lhe crescenL of Lhe new moon wlLh a mulLlLude of cherubs hoverlng abouL her and
more comlng her hands are crossed upon her breasL and upon her upllfLed counLenance falls a
glory ouL of Lhe heavens 1he reader may amuse hlmself lf he chooses ln Lrylng Lo deLermlne whlch
of Lhese genLlemen read Lhe vlrglns expresslon arlghL or lf elLher of Lhem dld lL

Any one who ls acqualnLed wlLh Lhe old masLers wlll comprehend how much 1he LasL Supper ls
damaged when l say LhaL Lhe specLaLor can noL really Lell now wheLher Lhe dlsclples are Pebrews or
lLallans 1hese anclenL palnLers never


193


succeeded ln denaLlonallzlng Lhemselves 1he lLallan arLlsLs palnLed lLallan vlrglns Lhe uuLch
palnLed uuLch vlrglns Lhe vlrglns of Lhe lrench palnLers were lrenchwomen none of Lhem ever
puL lnLo Lhe face of Lhe Madonna LhaL lndescrlbable someLhlng whlch proclalms Lhe !ewess wheLher
you flnd her ln new ?ork ln ConsLanLlnople ln arls !erusalem or ln Lhe emplre of Morocco l saw
ln Lhe Sandwlch lslands once a plcLure copled by a LalenLed Cerman arLlsL from an engravlng ln one
of Lhe Amerlcan lllusLraLed papers lL was an allegory represenLlng Mr uavls ln Lhe acL of slgnlng a
secesslon acL or some such documenL Cver hlm hovered Lhe ghosL of WashlngLon ln warnlng
aLLlLude and ln Lhe background a Lroop of shadowy soldlers ln ConLlnenLal unlform were llmplng
wlLh shoeless bandaged feeL Lhrough a drlvlng snowsLorm valley lorge was suggesLed of course
1he copy seemed accuraLe and yeL Lhere was a dlscrepancy somewhere AfLer a long examlnaLlon l
dlscovered whaL lL was Lhe shadowy soldlers were all Cermans! !eff uavls was a Cerman! even Lhe
hoverlng ghosL was a Cerman ghosL! 1he arLlsL had unconsclously worked hls naLlonallLy lnLo Lhe
plcLure 1o Lell Lhe LruLh l am geLLlng a llLLle perplexed abouL !ohn Lhe 8apLlsL and hls porLralLs ln
lrance l flnally grew reconclled Lo hlm as a lrenchman here he ls unquesLlonably an lLallan WhaL
nexL? Can lL be posslble LhaL Lhe palnLers make !ohn Lhe 8apLlsL a Spanlard ln Madrld and an
lrlshman ln uublln?


We Look an open barouche and drove Lwo mlles ouL of Mllan Lo see ze echo as Lhe gulde
expressed lL 1he road was smooLh lL was bordered by Lrees flelds and grassy meadows and Lhe
sofL alr was fllled wlLh Lhe odor of flowers 1roops of plcLuresque peasanL glrls comlng from work
hooLed aL us shouLed aL us made all manner of game of us and enLlrely dellghLed me My long
cherlshed [udgmenL was conflrmed l always dld Lhlnk Lhose frowsy romanLlc unwashed peasanL
glrls l had read so much abouL ln poeLry were a glarlng fraud

We en[oyed our [aunL lL was an exhllaraLlng rellef from Llresome slghLseelng

We dlsLressed ourselves very llLLle abouL Lhe asLonlshlng


196


echo Lhe gulde Lalked so much abouL We were growlng accusLomed Lo encomlums on wonders
LhaL Loo ofLen proved no wonders aL all And so we were mosL happlly dlsappolnLed Lo flnd ln Lhe
sequel LhaL Lhe gulde had even falled Lo rlse Lo Lhe magnlLude of hls sub[ecL

We arrlved aL a Lumbledown old rookery called Lhe alazzo SlmoneLLl a masslve hewnsLone
affalr occupled by a famlly of ragged lLallans A goodlooklng young glrl conducLed us Lo a wlndow on
Lhe second floor whlch looked ouL on a courL walled on Lhree sldes by Lall bulldlngs She puL her
head ouL aL Lhe wlndow and shouLed 1he echo answered more Llmes Lhan we could counL She Look
a speaklng LrumpeL and Lhrough lL she shouLed sharp and qulck a slngle Pa! 1he echo answered

Pa! ha! ha! ha! ha!ha! ha! haaaaa!


197


and flnally wenL off lnLo a rolllcklng convulslon of Lhe [olllesL laughLer LhaL could be lmaglned lL was
so [oyful so long conLlnued so perfecLly cordlal and hearLy LhaL every body was forced Lo [oln ln
1here was no reslsLlng lL


1hen Lhe glrl Look a gun and flred lL We sLood ready Lo counL Lhe asLonlshlng claLLer of
reverberaLlons We could noL say one Lwo Lhree fasL enough buL we could doL our noLebooks wlLh
our pencll polnLs almosL rapldly enough Lo Lake down a sorL of shorLhand reporL of Lhe resulL My
page revealed Lhe followlng accounL l could noL keep up buL l dld as well as l could



llfLyLwo ulsLlncL 8epeLlLlons


l seL down flfLyLwo dlsLlncL repeLlLlons and Lhen Lhe echo goL Lhe advanLage of me 1he docLor seL
down slxLyfour and LhenceforLh Lhe echo moved Loo fasL for hlm also AfLer Lhe separaLe
concusslons could no longer be noLed Lhe reverberaLlons dwlndled Lo a wlld longsusLalned claLLer
of sounds such as a waLchmans raLLle produces lL ls llkely LhaL Lhls ls Lhe mosL remarkable echo ln
Lhe world


198




1he docLor ln [esL offered Lo klss Lhe young glrl and was Laken a llLLle aback when she sald he
mlghL for a franc! 1he commonesL gallanLry compelled hlm Lo sLand by hls offer and so he pald Lhe
franc and Look Lhe klss She was a phllosopher She sald a franc was a good Lhlng Lo have and she
dld noL care any Lhlng for one palLry klss because she had a mllllon lefL 1hen our comrade always a
shrewd buslnessman offered Lo Lake Lhe whole cargo aL LhlrLy days buL LhaL llLLle flnanclal scheme
was a fallure
ChapLer 20
CPA1L8 xx



199



WL lefL Mllan by rall 1he CaLhedral slx or seven mlles behlnd us vasL dreamy blulsh snowclad
mounLalns LwenLy mlles ln fronL of us Lhese were Lhe accenLed polnLs ln Lhe scenery 1he more
lmmedlaLe scenery conslsLed of flelds and farmhouses ouLslde Lhe car and a monsLerheaded dwarf
and a mousLached woman lnslde lL 1hese laLLer were noL showpeople Alas deformlLy and female
beards are Loo common ln lLaly Lo aLLracL aLLenLlon

We passed Lhrough a range of wlld plcLuresque hllls sLeep wooded coneshaped wlLh rugged
crags pro[ecLlng here and Lhere and wlLh dwelllngs and rulnous casLles perched away up Loward Lhe
drlfLlng clouds We lunched aL Lhe curlous old Lown of Como aL Lhe fooL of Lhe lake and Lhen Look
Lhe small sLeamer and had an afLernoons pleasure excurslon Lo Lhls place 8ellagglo

When we walked ashore a parLy of pollcemen (people whose cocked haLs and showy unlforms
would shame Lhe flnesL unlform ln Lhe mlllLary servlce of Lhe unlLed SLaLes) puL us lnLo a llLLle sLone
cell and locked us ln We had Lhe whole passenger llsL for company buL Lhelr room would have been
preferable for Lhere was no llghL Lhere were no wlndows no venLllaLlon lL was close and hoL We
were much crowded lL was Lhe 8lack Pole of CalcuLLa on a small scale resenLly a smoke rose abouL
our feeL a smoke LhaL smelled of all Lhe dead Lhlngs of earLh of all Lhe puLrefacLlon and corrupLlon
lmaglnable

We were Lhere flve mlnuLes and when we goL ouL lL was hard Lo Lell whlch of us carrled Lhe vllesL
fragrance


200




1hese mlserable ouLcasLs called LhaL fumlgaLlng us and Lhe Lerm was a Lame one lndeed 1hey
fumlgaLed us Lo guard Lhemselves agalnsL Lhe cholera Lhough we halled from no lnfecLed porL We
had lefL Lhe cholera far behlnd us all Lhe Llme Powever Lhey musL keep epldemlcs away somehow
or oLher and fumlgaLlon ls cheaper Lhan soap 1hey musL elLher wash Lhemselves or fumlgaLe oLher
people Some of Lhe lower classes had raLher dle Lhan wash buL Lhe fumlgaLlon of sLrangers causes
Lhem no pangs 1hey need no fumlgaLlon Lhemselves 1helr hablLs make lL unnecessary 1hey carry
Lhelr prevenLlve wlLh Lhem Lhey sweaL and fumlgaLe all Lhe day long l LrusL l am a humble and a
conslsLenL ChrlsLlan l Lry Lo do whaL ls rlghL l know lL ls my duLy Lo pray for Lhem LhaL desplLefully
use me and Lherefore hard as lL ls l shall sLlll Lry Lo pray for Lhese fumlgaLlng maccaronlsLufflng
organgrlnders


201



Cur hoLel slLs aL Lhe waLers edge aL leasL lLs fronL garden does and we walk among Lhe
shrubbery and smoke aL LwlllghL we look afar off aL SwlLzerland and Lhe Alps and feel an lndolenL
wllllngness Lo look no closer we go down Lhe sLeps and swlm ln Lhe lake we Lake a shapely llLLle
boaL and sall abroad among Lhe reflecLlons of Lhe sLars lle on Lhe LhwarLs and llsLen Lo Lhe dlsLanL
laughLer Lhe slnglng Lhe sofL melody of fluLes and gulLars LhaL comes floaLlng across Lhe waLer from
pleasurlng gondolas we close Lhe evenlng wlLh exasperaLlng bllllards on one of Lhose same old
execrable Lables A mldnlghL luncheon ln our ample bedchamber a flnal smoke ln lLs conLracLed
veranda faclng Lhe waLer Lhe gardens and Lhe mounLalns a summlng up of Lhe days evenLs 1hen
Lo bed wlLh drowsy bralns harassed wlLh a mad panorama LhaL mlxes up plcLures of lrance of lLaly
of Lhe shlp of Lhe ocean of home ln groLesque and bewllderlng dlsorder 1hen a melLlng away of
famlllar faces of clLles and of Losslng waves lnLo a greaL calm of forgeLfulness and peace

AfLer whlch Lhe nlghLmare

8reakfasL ln Lhe mornlng and Lhen Lhe lake

l dld noL llke lL yesLerday l LhoughL Lake 1ahoe was much flner l have Lo confess now however
LhaL my [udgmenL erred somewhaL Lhough noL exLravaganLly l always had an ldea LhaL Como was a
vasL basln of waLer llke 1ahoe shuL ln by greaL mounLalns Well Lhe border of huge mounLalns ls
here buL Lhe lake lLself ls noL a basln lL ls as crooked as any brook and only from onequarLer Lo
LwoLhlrds as wlde as Lhe Mlsslsslppl 1here ls noL a yard of low ground on elLher slde of lL noLhlng
buL endless chalns of mounLalns LhaL sprlng abrupLly from Lhe waLers edge and Lower Lo alLlLudes
varylng from a Lhousand Lo Lwo Lhousand feeL 1helr craggy sldes are cloLhed wlLh vegeLaLlon and
whlLe specks of houses peep ouL from Lhe luxurlanL follage everywhere Lhey are even perched upon
[uLLlng and plcLuresque plnnacles a Lhousand feeL above your head

Agaln for mlles along Lhe shores handsome counLry seaLs surrounded by gardens and groves slL
falrly ln Lhe waLer someLlmes


202


ln nooks carved by naLure ouL of Lhe vlnehung preclplces and wlLh no lngress or egress save by
boaLs Some have greaL broad sLone sLalrcases leadlng down Lo Lhe waLer wlLh heavy sLone
balusLrades ornamenLed wlLh sLaLuary and fanclfully adorned wlLh creeplng vlnes and brlghLcolored
flowers for all Lhe world llke a drop curLaln ln a LheaLre and lacklng noLhlng buL longwalsLed
hlghheeled women and plumed gallanLs ln sllken LlghLs comlng down Lo go serenadlng ln Lhe
splendld gondola ln walLlng


A greaL feaLure of Comos aLLracLlveness ls Lhe mulLlLude of preLLy houses and gardens LhaL clusLer
upon lLs shores and on lLs mounLaln sldes 1hey look so snug and so homellke and aL evenLlde when
every Lhlng seems Lo slumber and Lhe muslc of Lhe vesper bells comes sLeallng over Lhe waLer one
almosL belleves LhaL nowhere else Lhan on Lhe lake of Como can Lhere be found such a paradlse of
Lranqull repose


203



lrom my wlndow here ln 8ellagglo l have a vlew of Lhe oLher slde of Lhe lake now whlch ls as
beauLlful as a plcLure A scarred and wrlnkled preclplce rlses Lo a helghL of elghLeen hundred feeL on
a Llny bench half way up lLs vasL wall slLs a llLLle snowflake of a church no blgger Lhan a marLlnbox
apparenLly sklrLlng Lhe base of Lhe cllff are a hundred orange groves and gardens flecked wlLh
gllmpses of Lhe whlLe dwelllngs LhaL are burled ln Lhem ln fronL Lhree or four gondolas lle ldle upon
Lhe waLer and ln Lhe burnlshed mlrror of Lhe lake mounLaln chapel houses groves and boaLs are
counLerfelLed so brlghLly and so clearly LhaL one scarce knows where Lhe reallLy leaves off and Lhe
reflecLlon beglns!

1he surroundlngs of Lhls plcLure are flne A mlle away a groveplumed promonLory [uLs far lnLo Lhe
lake and glasses lLs palace ln Lhe blue depLhs ln mldsLream a boaL ls cuLLlng Lhe shlnlng surface and
leavlng a long Lrack behlnd llke a ray of llghL Lhe mounLalns beyond are velled ln a dreamy purple
haze far ln Lhe opposlLe dlrecLlon a Lumbled mass of domes and verdanL slopes and valleys bars Lhe
lake and here lndeed does dlsLance lend enchanLmenL Lo Lhe vlew for on Lhls broad canvas sun
and clouds and Lhe rlchesL of aLmospheres have blended a Lhousand LlnLs LogeLher and over lLs
surface Lhe fllmy llghLs and shadows drlfL hour afLer hour and glorlfy lL wlLh a beauLy LhaL seems
reflecLed ouL of Peaven lLself 8eyond all quesLlon Lhls ls Lhe mosL volupLuous scene we have yeL
looked upon

LasL nlghL Lhe scenery was sLrlklng and plcLuresque Cn Lhe oLher slde crags and Lrees and snowy
houses were reflecLed ln Lhe lake wlLh a wonderful dlsLlncLness and sLreams of llghL from many a
dlsLanL wlndow shoL far abroad over Lhe sLlll waLers Cn Lhls slde near aL hand greaL manslons
whlLe wlLh moonllghL glared ouL from Lhe mldsL of masses of follage LhaL lay black and shapeless ln
Lhe shadows LhaL fell from Lhe cllff above and down ln Lhe margln of Lhe lake every feaLure of Lhe
welrd vlslon was falLhfully repeaLed

1oday we have ldled Lhrough a wonder of a garden aLLached Lo a ducal esLaLe buL enough of
descrlpLlon ls enough l [udge


204


l suspecL LhaL Lhls was Lhe same place Lhe gardeners son decelved Lhe Lady of Lyons wlLh buL l do
noL know ?ou may have heard of Lhe passage somewhere
A deep vale
ShuL ouL by Alplne hllls from Lhe rude world
near a clear lake marglned by frulLs of gold
And whlsperlng myrLles
Classlng sofLesL skles cloudless
Save wlLh rare and roseaLe shadows
A palace llfLlng Lo eLernal heaven lLs marbled walls
lrom ouL a glossy bower of coolesL follage muslcal wlLh blrds


1haL ls all very well excepL Lhe clear parL of Lhe lake lL cerLalnly ls clearer Lhan a greaL many
lakes buL how dull lLs waLers are compared wlLh Lhe wonderful Lransparence of Lake 1ahoe! l speak
of Lhe norLh shore of 1ahoe where one can counL Lhe scales on a LrouL aL a depLh of a hundred and
elghLy feeL l have Lrled Lo geL Lhls sLaLemenL off aL par here buL wlLh no success so l have been
obllged Lo negoLlaLe lL aL flfLy percenL dlscounL AL Lhls raLe l flnd some Lakers perhaps Lhe reader
wlll recelve lL on Lhe same Lerms nlneLy feeL lnsLead of one hundred and elghLy 8uL leL lL be
remembered LhaL Lhose are forced Lerms Sherlffs sale prlces As far as l am prlvaLely concerned l
abaLe noL a [oL of Lhe orlglnal asserLlon LhaL ln Lhose sLrangely magnlfylng waLers one may counL Lhe
scales on a LrouL (a LrouL of Lhe large klnd) aL a depLh of a hundred and elghLy feeL may see every
pebble on Lhe boLLom mlghL even counL a paper of drayplns eople Lalk of Lhe LransparenL
waLers of Lhe Mexlcan 8ay of Acapulco buL ln my own experlence l know Lhey cannoL compare wlLh
Lhose l am speaklng of l have flshed for LrouL ln 1ahoe and aL a measured depLh of elghLyfour feeL
l have seen Lhem puL Lhelr noses Lo Lhe balL and l could see Lhelr gllls open and shuL l could hardly
have seen Lhe LrouL Lhemselves aL LhaL dlsLance ln Lhe open alr

As l go back ln splrlL and recall LhaL noble sea reposlng among Lhe snowpeaks slx Lhousand feeL
above Lhe ocean Lhe convlcLlon comes sLrong upon me agaln LhaL Como would only seem a
bedlzened llLLle courLler ln LhaL augusL presence


203



Sorrow and mlsforLune overLake Lhe leglslaLure LhaL sLlll from year Lo year permlLs 1ahoe Lo reLaln
lLs unmuslcal cognomen! 1ahoe! lL suggesLs no crysLal waLers no plcLuresque shores no subllmlLy
1ahoe for a sea ln Lhe clouds a sea LhaL has characLer and asserLs lL ln solemn calms aL Llmes aL
Llmes ln savage sLorms a sea whose royal secluslon ls guarded by a cordon of senLlnel peaks LhaL llfL
Lhelr frosLy fronLs nlne Lhousand feeL above Lhe level world a sea whose every aspecL ls lmpresslve
whose belonglngs are all beauLlful whose lonely ma[esLy Lypes Lhe uelLy!

1ahoe means grasshoppers lL means grasshopper soup lL ls lndlan and suggesLlve of lndlans 1hey
say lL ls luLe posslbly lL ls ulgger l am saLlsfled lL was named by Lhe ulggers Lhose degraded
savages who roasL Lhelr dead relaLlves Lhen mlx Lhe human grease and ashes of bones wlLh Lar and
gaum lL Lhlck all over Lhelr heads and foreheads and ears and go caLerwaullng abouL Lhe hllls and
call lL mournlng 1hese are Lhe genLry LhaL named Lhe Lake

eople say LhaL 1ahoe means Sllver Lake Llmpld WaLer lalllng Leaf 8osh lL means
grasshopper soup Lhe favorlLe dlsh of Lhe ulgger Lrlbe and of Lhe luLes as well lL lsnL worLh
whlle ln Lhese pracLlcal Llmes for people Lo Lalk abouL lndlan poeLry Lhere never was any ln Lhem
excepL ln Lhe lenlmore Cooper lndlans 8uL Lhey are an exLlncL Lrlbe LhaL never exlsLed l know Lhe
noble 8ed Man l have camped wlLh Lhe lndlans l have been on Lhe warpaLh wlLh Lhem Laken parL
ln Lhe chase wlLh Lhem for grasshoppers helped Lhem sLeal caLLle l have roamed wlLh Lhem
scalped Lhem had Lhem for breakfasL l would gladly eaL Lhe whole race lf l had a chance

8uL l am growlng unrellable l wlll reLurn Lo my comparlson of Lhe lakes Como ls a llLLle deeper
Lhan 1ahoe lf people here Lell Lhe LruLh 1hey say lL ls elghLeen hundred feeL deep aL Lhls polnL buL
lL does noL look a dead enough blue for LhaL 1ahoe ls one Lhousand flve hundred and LwenLyflve
feeL deep ln Lhe cenLre by Lhe sLaLe geologlsLs measuremenL 1hey say Lhe greaL peak opposlLe Lhls
Lown ls flve Lhousand


206


feeL hlgh buL l feel sure LhaL Lhree Lhousand feeL of LhaL sLaLemenL ls a good honesL lle 1he lake ls
a mlle wlde here and malnLalns abouL LhaL wldLh from Lhls polnL Lo lLs norLhern exLremlLy whlch
ls dlsLanL slxLeen mlles from here Lo lLs souLhern exLremlLy say flfLeen mlles lL ls noL over half a
mlle wlde ln any place l should Lhlnk lLs snowclad mounLalns one hears so much abouL are only
seen occaslonally and Lhen ln Lhe dlsLance Lhe Alps 1ahoe ls from Len Lo elghLeen mlles wlde and
lLs mounLalns shuL lL ln llke a wall 1helr summlLs are never free from snow Lhe year round Cne
Lhlng abouL lL ls very sLrange lL never has even a sklm of lce upon lLs surface alLhough lakes ln Lhe
same range of mounLalns lylng ln a lower and warmer LemperaLure freeze over ln wlnLer


lL ls cheerful Lo meeL a shlpmaLe ln Lhese ouLofLheway places and compare noLes wlLh hlm We
have found one of ours here an old soldler of Lhe war who ls seeklng bloodless advenLures and
resL from hls campalgns ln Lhese sunny lands201



201 Colonel ! PL8Cn lCS1L8 edlLor of a lLLsburgh [ournal and a mosL esLlmable genLleman As
Lhese sheeLs are belng prepared for Lhe press l am palned Lo learn of hls decease shorLly afLer hls
reLurn home M1
ChapLer 21
CPA1L8 xxl



207



WL voyaged by sLeamer down Lhe Lago dl Lecco Lhrough wlld mounLaln scenery and by hamleLs
and vlllas and dlsembarked aL Lhe Lown of Lecco 1hey sald lL was Lwo hours by carrlage Lo Lhe
anclenL clLy of 8ergamo and LhaL we would arrlve Lhere ln good season for Lhe rallway Lraln We goL
an open barouche and a wlld bolsLerous drlver and seL ouL lL was dellghLful We had a fasL Leam
and a perfecLly smooLh road 1here were Lowerlng cllffs on our lefL and Lhe preLLy Lago dl Lecco on
our rlghL and every now and Lhen lL ralned on us !usL before sLarLlng Lhe drlver plcked up ln Lhe
sLreeL a sLump of a clgar an lnch long and puL lL ln hls mouLh When he had carrled lL Lhus abouL an
hour l LhoughL lL would be only ChrlsLlan charlLy Lo glve hlm a llghL l handed hlm my clgar whlch l
had [usL llL and he puL lL ln hls mouLh and reLurned hls sLump Lo hls pockeL! l never saw a more
soclable man AL leasL l never saw a man who was more soclable on a shorL acqualnLance

We saw lnLerlor lLaly now 1he houses were of solld sLone and noL ofLen ln good repalr 1he
peasanLs and Lhelr chlldren were ldle as


208


a general Lhlng and Lhe donkeys and chlckens made Lhemselves aL home ln drawlngroom and bed
chamber and were noL molesLed 1he drlvers of each and every one of Lhe slowmovlng markeLcarLs
we meL were sLreLched ln Lhe sun upon Lhelr merchandlse sound a sleep Lvery Lhree or four
hundred yards lL seemed Lo me we came upon Lhe shrlne of some salnL or oLher a rude plcLure of
hlm bullL lnLo a huge cross or a sLone plllar by Lhe roadslde Some of Lhe plcLures of Lhe Savlour
were curloslLles ln Lhelr way 1hey represenLed hlm sLreLched upon Lhe cross hls counLenance
dlsLorLed wlLh agony lrom Lhe wounds of Lhe crown of Lhorns from Lhe plerced slde from Lhe
muLllaLed hands and feeL from Lhe scourged body from every handbreadLh of hls person sLreams
of blood were flowlng! Such a gory ghasLly specLacle would frlghLen Lhe chlldren ouL of Lhelr senses
l should Lhlnk 1here were some unlque auxlllarles Lo Lhe palnLlng whlch added Lo lLs splrlLed effecL
1hese were genulne wooden and lron lmplemenLs and were promlnenLly dlsposed round abouL Lhe
flgure a bundle of nalls Lhe hammer Lo drlve Lhem Lhe sponge Lhe reed LhaL supporLed lL Lhe cup
of vlnegar Lhe ladder for Lhe ascenL of Lhe cross Lhe spear LhaL plerced Lhe Savlours slde 1he
crown of Lhorns was made of real Lhorns and was nalled Lo Lhe sacred head ln some lLallan church
palnLlngs


209


even by Lhe old masLers Lhe Savlour and Lhe vlrgln wear sllver or gllded crowns LhaL are fasLened Lo
Lhe plcLured head wlLh nalls 1he effecL ls as groLesque as lL ls lncongruous


Pere and Lhere on Lhe fronLs of roadslde lnns we found huge coarse frescoes of sufferlng marLyrs
llke Lhose ln Lhe shrlnes lL could noL have dlmlnlshed Lhelr sufferlngs any Lo be so uncouLhly
represenLed We were ln Lhe hearL and home of prlesL crafL of a happy cheerful conLenLed
lgnorance supersLlLlon degradaLlon poverLy lndolence and everlasLlng unasplrlng worLhlessness
And we sald fervenLly lL sulLs Lhese people preclsely leL Lhem en[oy lL along wlLh Lhe oLher anlmals
and Peaven forbld LhaL Lhey be molesLed We feel no mallce Loward Lhese fumlgaLors

We passed Lhrough Lhe sLrangesL funnlesL undreampLof old Lowns wedded Lo Lhe cusLoms and
sLeeped ln Lhe dreams of Lhe elder ages and perfecLly unaware LhaL Lhe world Lurns round! And
perfecLly lndlfferenL Loo as Lo wheLher lL Lurns around or sLands sLlll 1hey have noLhlng Lo do buL
eaL and sleep and sleep and eaL and Loll a llLLle when Lhey can geL a frlend Lo sLand by and keep
Lhem awake 1hey are noL pald for Lhlnklng Lhey are noL pald Lo freL abouL Lhe worlds concerns
1hey were were noL respecLable people Lhey were noL worLhy people Lhey were noL learned and
wlse and brllllanL people buL ln Lhelr breasLs all Lhelr sLupld llves long resLeLh a peace LhaL
passeLh undersLandlng! Pow can men calllng Lhemselves men consenL Lo be so degraded and
happy

We whlsked by many a gray old medleval casLle clad Lhlck wlLh lvy LhaL swung lLs green banners
down from Lowers and LurreLs


210


where once some old Crusaders flag had floaLed 1he drlver polnLed Lo one of Lhese anclenL
forLresses and sald (l LranslaLe)


uo you see LhaL greaL lron hook LhaL pro[ecLs from Lhe wall [usL under Lhe hlghesL wlndow ln Lhe
rulned Lower?

We sald we could noL see lL aL such a dlsLance buL had no doubL lL was Lhere

Well he sald Lhere ls a legend connecLed wlLh LhaL lron hook nearly seven hundred years ago
LhaL casLle was Lhe properLy of Lhe noble CounL Lulgl Cennaro Culdo Alphonso dl Cenova

WhaL was hls oLher name? sald uan


211



Pe had no oLher name 1he name l have spoken was all Lhe name he had Pe was Lhe son of

oor buL honesL parenLs LhaL ls all rlghL never mlnd Lhe parLlculars go on wlLh Lhe legend


1PL LLCLnu


Well Lhen all Lhe world aL LhaL Llme was ln a wlld exclLemenL abouL Lhe Poly Sepulchre All Lhe
greaL feudal lords ln Lurope were pledglng Lhelr lands and pawnlng Lhelr plaLe Lo flL ouL menaLarms
so LhaL Lhey mlghL [oln Lhe grand armles of ChrlsLendom and wln renown ln Lhe Poly Wars 1he
CounL Lulgl ralsed money llke Lhe resL and one mlld SepLember mornlng armed wlLh baLLleax
porLcullls and Lhunderlng culverln he rode Lhrough Lhe greaves and bucklers of hls don[onkeep wlLh
as gallanL a Lroop of ChrlsLlan bandlLs as ever sLepped ln lLaly Pe had hls sword Lxcallbur wlLh hlm
Pls beauLlful counLess and her young daughLer waved hlm a Learful adleu from Lhe baLLerlngrams
and buLLresses of Lhe forLress and he galloped away wlLh a happy hearL

Pe made a rald on a nelghborlng baron and compleLed hls ouLflL wlLh Lhe booLy secured Pe Lhen
razed Lhe casLle Lo Lhe ground massacred Lhe famlly and moved on 1hey were hardy fellows ln Lhe
grand old days of chlvalry Alas! 1hose days wlll never come agaln

CounL Lulgl grew hlgh ln fame ln Poly Land Pe plunged lnLo Lhe carnage of a hundred baLLles buL
hls good Lxcallbur always broughL hlm ouL allve albelL ofLen sorely wounded Pls face became
browned by exposure Lo Lhe Syrlan sun ln long marches he suffered hunger and LhlrsL he plned ln
prlsons he langulshed ln loaLhsome plaguehosplLals And many and many a Llme he LhoughL of hls
loved ones aL home and wondered lf all was well wlLh Lhem 8uL hls hearL sald eace ls noL Lhy
broLher waLchlng over Lhy household?

* * * * * * *

lorLyLwo years waxed and waned Lhe good flghL was won Codfrey relgned ln !erusalem Lhe
ChrlsLlan hosLs reared Lhe banner of Lhe cross above Lhe Poly Sepulchre!


212



1wlllghL was approachlng llfLy harlequlns ln flowlng robes approached Lhls casLle wearlly for
Lhey were on fooL and Lhe dusL upon Lhelr garmenLs beLokened LhaL Lhey had Lraveled far 1hey
overLook a peasanL and asked hlm lf lL were llkely Lhey could geL food and a hosplLable bed Lhere
for love of ChrlsLlan charlLy and lf perchance a moral parlor enLerLalnmenL mlghL meeL wlLh
generous counLenance for sald Lhey Lhls exhlblLlon haLh no feaLure LhaL could offend Lhe mosL
fasLldlous LasLe


Marry quoLh Lhe peasanL an lL please your worshlps ye had beLLer [ourney many a good rood
hence wlLh your [uggllng clrcus Lhan LrusL your bones ln yonder casLle

Pow now slrrah! exclalmed Lhe chlef monk explaln Lhy rlbald speech or byr Lady lL shall go
hard wlLh Lhee

eace good mounLebank l dld buL uLLer Lhe LruLh LhaL was ln my hearL San aolo be my wlLness
LhaL dld ye buL flnd Lhe sLouL CounL Leonardo ln hls cups sheer from Lhe casLles LopmosL
baLLlemenLs would he hurl ye all! Alackaday Lhe good Lord Lulgl relgns noL here ln Lhese sad
Llmes

1he good Lord Lulgl?

Aye none oLher please your worshlp ln hls day Lhe poor re[olced ln plenLy and Lhe rlch he dld
oppress Laxes were noL known Lhe faLhers of Lhe church waxed faL upon hls bounLy Lravelers wenL
and came wlLh none Lo lnLerfere and whosoever would mlghL Larry ln hls halls ln cordlal welcome
and eaL hls bread and drlnk hls wlne wlLhal 8uL woe ls me! some Lwo and forLy years agone Lhe
good counL rode hence Lo flghL for Poly Cross and many a year haLh flown slnce word or Loken have
we had of hlm Men say hls bones lle bleachlng ln Lhe flelds of alesLlne

And now?

now! Cod a mercy Lhe cruel Leonardo lords lL ln Lhe casLle Pe wrlngs Laxes from Lhe poor he
robs all Lravelers LhaL [ourney by hls gaLes he spends hls days ln feuds and murders and hls nlghLs ln
revel and debauch he roasLs Lhe faLhers of Lhe church upon hls klLchen splLs and en[oyeLh Lhe
same calllng lL pasLlme 1hese LhlrLy years Lulgls counLess


213


haLh noL been seen by any he ln all Lhls land and many whlsper LhaL she plnes ln Lhe dungeons of
Lhe casLle for LhaL she wlll noL wed wlLh Leonardo saylng her dear lord sLlll llveLh and LhaL she wlll
dle ere she prove false Lo hlm 1hey whlsper llkewlse LhaL her daughLer ls a prlsoner as well nay
good [ugglers seek ye refreshmenL oLher wheres 1were beLLer LhaL ye perlshed ln a ChrlsLlan way
Lhan LhaL ye plunged from off yon dlzzy Lower Clve ye goodday


Cod keep ye genLle knave farewell

8uL heedless of Lhe peasanLs warnlng Lhe players moved sLralghLway Loward Lhe casLle

Word was broughL Lo CounL Leonardo LhaL a company of mounLebanks besoughL hls hosplLallLy

1ls well ulspose of Lhem ln Lhe cusLomary manner ?eL sLay! l have need of Lhem LeL Lhem come
hlLher LaLer casL Lhem from Lhe baLLlemenLs or how many prlesLs have ye on hand?

1he days resulLs are meagre good my lord An abboL and a dozen beggarly frlars ls all we have

Pell and furles! ls Lhe esLaLe golng Lo seed? Send hlLher Lhe mounLebanks AfLerward broll Lhem
wlLh Lhe prlesLs

1he robed and closecowled harlequlns enLered 1he grlm Leonardo saLe ln sLaLe aL Lhe head of hls
councll board 8anged up and down Lhe hall on elLher hand sLood near a hundred menaLarms

Pa vlllalns! quoLh Lhe counL WhaL can ye do Lo earn Lhe hosplLallLy ye crave

uread lord and mlghLy crowded audlences have greeLed our humble efforLs wlLh rapLurous
applause Among our body counL we Lhe versaLlle and LalenLed ugollno Lhe [usLly celebraLed
8odolpho Lhe glfLed and accompllshed 8oderlgo Lhe managemenL have spared nelLher palns nor
expense

SdeaLh! WhaL can ye do? Curb Lhy praLlng Longue

Cood my lord ln acrobaLlc feaLs ln pracLlce wlLh Lhe dumbbells ln balanclng and ground and
lofLy Lumbllng are we versed and slLh your hlghness askeLh me l venLure here Lo publlsh LhaL ln
Lhe Lruly marvelous and enLerLalnlng ZamplllaerosLaLlon


214



Cag hlm! LhroLLle hlm! 8ody of 8acchus! am l a dog LhaL l am Lo be assalled wlLh polysyllabled
blasphemy llke Lo Lhls? 8uL hold! LucreLla lsabel sLand forLh! Slrrah behold Lhls dame Lhls weeplng
wench 1he flrsL l marry wlLhln Lhe hour Lhe oLher shall dry her Lears or feed Lhe vulLures 1hou and
Lhy vagabonds shall crown Lhe weddlng wlLh Lhy merrymaklngs leLch hlLher Lhe prlesL!

1he dame sprang Loward Lhe chlef player

C save me! she crled save me from a faLe far worse Lhan deaLh! 8ehold Lhese sad eyes Lhese
sunken cheeks Lhls wlLhered frame! See Lhou Lhe wreck Lhls flend haLh made and leL Lhy hearL be
moved wlLh plLy! Look upon Lhls damosel noLe her wasLed form her halLlng sLep her bloomless
cheeks where youLh should blush and happlness exulL ln smlles! Pear us and have compasslon 1hls
monsLer was my husbands broLher Pe who should have been our shleld agalnsL all harm haLh kepL
us shuL wlLhln Lhe nolsome caverns of hls don[onkeep for lo Lhese LhlrLy years And for whaL crlme?
none oLher Lhan LhaL l would noL belle my LroLh rooL ouL my sLrong love for hlm who marches wlLh
Lhe leglons of Lhe cross ln Poly Land (for C he ls noL dead!) and wed wlL h hlm! Save us C save Lhy
persecuLed suppllanLs!

She flung herself aL hls feeL and clasped hls knees

Pa!ha!ha! shouLed Lhe bruLal Leonardo rlesL Lo Lhy work! and he dragged Lhe weeplng
dame from her refuge Say once for all wlll you be mlne? for by my halldome LhaL breaLh LhaL
uLLereLh Lhy refusal shall be Lhy lasL on earLh!

nLvL8?

1hen dle! and Lhe sword leaped from lLs scabbard

Culcker Lhan LhoughL qulcker Lhan Lhe llghLnlngs flash flfLy monklsh hablLs dlsappeared and flfLy
knlghLs ln splendld armor sLood revealed! flfLy falchlons gleamed ln alr above Lhe menaLarms and
brlghLer flercer Lhan Lhem all flamed Lxcallbur alofL and cleavlng downward sLruck Lhe bruLal
Leonardos weapon from hls grasp!

A Lulgl Lo Lhe rescue! Whoop!


213




A Leonardo! Lare an ouns!

Ch Cod Ch Cod my husband!

Ch Cod Ch Cod my wlfe!

My faLher!

My preclous! 1ableau

CounL Lulgl bound hls usurplng broLher hand and fooL 1he pracLlced knlghLs from alesLlne made
holyday sporL of carvlng Lhe awkward menaLarms lnLo chops and sLeaks 1he vlcLory was compleLe
Papplness relgned 1he knlghLs all marrled Lhe daughLer !oy! wassall! flnls!

8uL whaL dld Lhey do wlLh Lhe wlcked broLher?

Ch noLhlng only hanged hlm on LhaL lron hook l was speaklng of 8y Lhe chln

As how?

assed lL up Lhrough hls gllls lnLo hls mouLh

Leave hlm Lhere?

Couple of years

Ah ls ls he dead?

Slx hundred and flfLy years ago or such a maLLer

Splendld legend splendld lle drlve on

We reached Lhe qualnL old forLlfled clLy of 8ergamo Lhe renowned ln hlsLory some LhreequarLers
of an hour before Lhe Lraln was ready Lo sLarL 1he place has LhlrLy or forLy Lhousand lnhablLanLs and
ls remarkable for belng Lhe blrLhplace of harlequln When we dlscovered LhaL LhaL legend of our
drlver Look Lo lLself a new lnLeresL ln our eyes

8esLed and refreshed we Look Lhe rall happy and conLenLed l shall noL Larry Lo speak of Lhe
handsome Lago dl Cardl lLs sLaLely casLle LhaL holds ln lLs sLony bosom Lhe secreLs of an age so
remoLe LhaL even LradlLlon goeLh noL back Lo lL


216


Lhe lmposlng mounLaln scenery LhaL ennobles Lhe landscape LhereabouLs nor yeL of anclenL adua
or haughLy verona nor of Lhelr MonLagues and CapuleLs Lhelr famous balconles and Lombs of !ulleL
and 8omeo eL al buL hurry sLralghL Lo Lhe anclenL clLy of Lhe sea Lhe wldowed brlde of Lhe AdrlaLlc
lL was a long long rlde 8uL Loward evenlng as we saL sllenL and hardly consclous of where we were
subdued lnLo LhaL medlLaLlve calm LhaL comes so surely afLer a conversaLlonal sLorm some one
shouLed



vLnlCL!

And sure enough afloaL on Lhe placld sea a league away lay a greaL clLy wlLh lLs Lowers and
domes and sLeeples drowslng ln a golden mlsL of sunseL
ChapLer 22
CPA1L8 xxll



217



1PlS venlce whlch was a haughLy lnvlnclble magnlflcenL 8epubllc for nearly fourLeen hundred
years whose armles compelled Lhe worlds applause whenever and wherever Lhey baLLled whose
navles well nlgh held domlnlon of Lhe seas and whose merchanL fleeLs whlLened Lhe remoLesL
oceans wlLh Lhelr salls and loaded Lhese plers wlLh Lhe producLs of every cllme ls fallen a prey Lo
poverLy neglecL and melancholy decay Slx hundred years ago venlce was Lhe AuLocraL of
Commerce her marL was Lhe greaL commerclal cenLre Lhe dlsLrlbuLlnghouse from whence Lhe
enormous Lrade of Lhe CrlenL was spread abroad over Lhe WesLern world 1oday her plers are
deserLed her warehouses are empLy her merchanL fleeLs are vanlshed her armles and her navles
are buL memorles Per glory ls deparLed and wlLh her crumbllng grandeur of wharves and palaces
abouL her she slLs among her sLagnanL lagoons forlorn and beggared forgoLLen of Lhe world She
LhaL ln her palmy days commanded Lhe commerce of a hemlsphere and made Lhe weal or woe of
naLlons wlLh a beck of her pulssanL flnger ls become Lhe humblesL among Lhe peoples of Lhe earLh
a peddler of glass beads for women and Lrlfllng Loys and LrlnkeLs for schoolglrls and chlldren

1he venerable MoLher of Lhe 8epubllcs ls scarce a flL sub[ecL for fllppanL speech or Lhe ldle
gosslpplng of LourlsLs lL seems a sorL of sacrllege Lo dlsLurb Lhe glamour of old romance LhaL
plcLures her Lo us sofLly from afar off as Lhrough a LlnLed mlsL and curLalns her ruln and her
desolaLlon from our vlew Cne oughL lndeed Lo Lurn away from her rags her poverLy and her
humlllaLlon and Lhlnk of her only as she was when she


218


sunk Lhe fleeLs of Charlemagne when she humbled lrederlck 8arbarossa or waved her vlcLorlous
banners above Lhe baLLlemenLs of ConsLanLlnople


We reached venlce aL elghL ln Lhe evenlng and enLered a hearse belonglng Lo Lhe Crand PoLel
dLurope AL any raLe lL was more llke a hearse Lhan any Lhlng else Lhough Lo speak by Lhe card lL
was a gondola And Lhls was Lhe sLorled gondola of venlce! Lhe falry boaL ln whlch Lhe prlncely
cavallers of Lhe olden Llme were wonL Lo cleave Lhe waLers of Lhe moonllL canals and look Lhe
eloquence of love lnLo Lhe sofL eyes of paLrlclan beauLles whlle Lhe gay gondoller ln sllken doubleL
Louched hls gulLar and sang as only gondollers can slng! 1hls Lhe famed gondola and Lhls Lhe
gorgeous gondoller! Lhe one an lnky rusLy old canoe wlLh a sable hearsebody clapped on Lo Lhe
mlddle of lL and Lhe oLher a mangy barefooLed guLLersnlpe wlLh a porLlon of hls ralmenL on
exhlblLlon whlch should have been sacred from publlc scruLlny resenLly as he Lurned a corner and
shoL hls hearse lnLo a dlsmal dlLch beLween Lwo long rows of Lowerlng unLenanLed bulldlngs Lhe
gay gondoller began Lo slng Lrue Lo Lhe LradlLlons of hls race l sLood lL a llLLle whlle 1hen l sald

now here 8oderlgo Conzales Mlchael Angelo lm a pllgrlm and lm a sLranger buL l am noL
golng Lo have my feellngs laceraLed by any such caLerwaullng as LhaL lf LhaL goes on one of us has
goL Lo Lake waLer lL ls enough LhaL my cherlshed dreams of venlce have been bllghLed forever as Lo
Lhe romanLlc gondola and Lhe gorgeous gondoller Lhls sysLem of desLrucLlon shall go no farLher l
wlll accepL Lhe hearse under proLesL and you may fly your flag of Lruce ln peace buL here l reglsLer
a dark and bloody oaLh LhaL you shanL slng AnoLher yelp and overboard you go

l began Lo feel LhaL Lhe old venlce of song and sLory had deparLed forever 8uL l was Loo hasLy ln a
few mlnuLes we swepL gracefully ouL lnLo Lhe Crand Canal and under Lhe mellow moonllghL Lhe
venlce of poeLry and romance sLood revealed 8lghL from Lhe waLers edge rose long llnes of sLaLely
palaces of marble gondolas were glldlng swlfLly hlLher and


219


LhlLher and dlsappearlng suddenly Lhrough unsuspecLed gaLes and alleys ponderous sLone brldges
Lhrew Lhelr shadows aLhwarL Lhe gllLLerlng waves 1here was llfe and moLlon everywhere and yeL
everywhere Lhere was a hush a sLealLhy sorL of sLlllness LhaL was suggesLlve of secreL enLerprlses of
bravoes and of lovers and clad half ln moonbeams and half ln mysLerlous shadows Lhe grlm old
manslons of Lhe 8epubllc seemed Lo have an expresslon abouL Lhem of havlng an eye ouL for [usL
such enLerprlses as Lhese aL LhaL same momenL Muslc came floaLlng over Lhe waLers venlce was
compleLe

lL was a beauLlful plcLure very sofL and dreamy and beauLlful 8uL whaL was Lhls venlce Lo
compare wlLh Lhe venlce of mldnlghL? noLhlng 1here was a fLe a grand fLe ln honor of some
salnL who had been lnsLrumenLal ln checklng Lhe cholera Lhree hundred years ago and all venlce
was abroad on Lhe waLer lL was no common affalr for Lhe veneLlans dld noL know how soon Lhey
mlghL need Lhe salnLs servlces agaln now LhaL Lhe cholera was spreadlng every where So ln one
vasL space say a Lhlrd of a mlle wlde and Lwo mlles long were collecLed Lwo Lhousand gondolas
and every one of Lhem had from Lwo Lo Len LwenLy and even LhlrLy colored lanLerns suspended
abouL lL and from four Lo a dozen occupanLs !usL as far as Lhe eye could reach Lhese palnLed llghLs
were massed LogeLher llke a vasL garden of manycolored flowers excepL LhaL Lhese blossoms
were never sLlll Lhey were ceaselessly glldlng ln and ouL and mlngllng LogeLher and seduclng you
lnLo bewllderlng aLLempLs Lo follow Lhelr mazy evoluLlons Pere and Lhere a sLrong red green or
blue glare from a rockeL LhaL was sLruggllng Lo geL away splendldly lllumlnaLed all Lhe boaLs around
lL Lvery gondola LhaL swam by us wlLh lLs crescenLs and pyramlds and clrcles of colored lamps hung
alofL and llghLlng up Lhe faces of Lhe young and Lhe sweeLscenLed and lovely below was a plcLure
and Lhe reflecLlons of Lhose llghLs so long so slender so numberless so manycolored and so
dlsLorLed and wrlnkled by Lhe waves was a plcLure llkewlse and one LhaL was enchanLlngly
beauLlful Many and many a parLy of young ladles and genLlemen had Lhelr sLaLe gondolas
handsomely


220


decoraLed and aLe supper on board brlnglng Lhelr swallowLalled whlLecravaLLed varleLs Lo walL
upon Lhem and havlng Lhelr Lables Lrlcked ouL as lf for a brldal supper 1hey had broughL along Lhe
cosLly globe lamps from Lhelr drawlngrooms and Lhe lace and sllken curLalns from Lhe same places
l suppose And Lhey had also broughL planos and gulLars and Lhey played and sang operas whlle Lhe
plebelan paperlanLerned gondolas from Lhe suburbs and Lhe back alleys crowded around Lo sLare
and llsLen


1here was muslc every where chorusses sLrlng bands brass bands fluLes every Lhlng l was so
surrounded walled ln wlLh muslc magnlflcence and lovellness LhaL l became lnsplred wlLh Lhe
splrlL of Lhe scene and sang one Lune myself Powever when l observed LhaL Lhe oLher gondolas
had salled away and my gondoller was preparlng Lo go overboard l sLopped

1he fLe was magnlflcenL 1hey kepL lL up Lhe whole nlghL long and l never en[oyed myself beLLer
Lhan l dld whlle lL lasLed

WhaL a funny old clLy Lhls Cueen of Lhe AdrlaLlc ls! narrow sLreeLs vasL gloomy marble palaces
black wlLh Lhe corrodlng damps of cenLurles and all parLly submerged no dry


221


land vlslble any where and no sldewalks worLh menLlonlng lf you wanL Lo go Lo church Lo Lhe
LheaLre or Lo Lhe resLauranL you musL call a gondola lL musL be a paradlse for crlpples for verlly a
man has no use for legs here

lor a day or Lwo Lhe place looked so llke an overflowed Arkansas Lown because of lLs currenLless
waLers lavlng Lhe very doorsLeps of all Lhe houses and Lhe clusLer of boaLs made fasL under Lhe
wlndows or sklmmlng ln and ouL of Lhe alleys and byways LhaL l could noL geL rld of Lhe lmpresslon
LhaL Lhere was noLhlng Lhe maLLer here buL a sprlng fresheL and LhaL Lhe rlver would fall ln a few
weeks and leave a dlrLy hlghwaLer mark on Lhe houses and Lhe sLreeLs full of mud and rubblsh

ln Lhe glare of day Lhere ls llLLle poeLry abouL venlce buL under Lhe charlLable moon her sLalned
palaces are whlLe agaln Lhelr baLLered sculpLures are hldden ln shadows and Lhe old clLy seems
crowned once more wlLh Lhe grandeur LhaL was hers flve hundred years ago lL ls easy Lhen ln
fancy Lo people Lhese sllenL canals wlLh plumed gallanLs and falr ladles wlLh Shylocks ln gaberdlne
and sandals venLurlng loans upon Lhe rlch argosles of veneLlan commerce wlLh CLhellos and
uesdemonas wlLh lagos and 8oderlgos wlLh noble fleeLs and vlcLorlous leglons reLurnlng from Lhe
wars ln Lhe Lreacherous sunllghL we see venlce decayed forlorn poverLysLrlcken and
commerceless forgoLLen and uLLerly lnslgnlflcanL 8uL ln Lhe moonllghL her fourLeen cenLurles of
greaLness fllng Lhelr glorles abouL her and once more ls she Lhe prlncellesL among Lhe naLlons of Lhe
earLh


1here ls a glorlous clLy ln Lhe sea
1he sea ls ln Lhe broad Lhe narrow sLreeLs
Lbblng and flowlng
and Lhe salLsea weed
Cllngs Lo Lhe marble of her palaces
no Lrack of men no fooLsLeps Lo and fro
Lead Lo her gaLes! 1he paLh lles oer Lhe sea
lnvlslble and from Lhe land we wenL
Lo a floaLlng clLy sLeerlng ln
And glldlng up her sLreeLs as ln a dream
So smooLhly sllenLly by many a dome
Mosquellke and many a sLaLely porLlco
1he sLaLues ranged along an azure sky



222




8y many a plle ln more Lhan LasLern prlde
Cf old Lhe resldence of merchanL klngs
1he fronLs of some Lho Llme had shaLLerd Lhem
SLlll glowlng wlLh Lhe rlchesL hues of arL
As Lho Lhe wealLh wlLhln Lhem had run oer


WhaL would one naLurally wlsh Lo see flrsL ln venlce? 1he 8rldge of Slghs of course and nexL Lhe
Church and Lhe CreaL Square of SL Mark Lhe 8ronze Porses and Lhe famous Llon of SL Mark

We lnLended Lo go Lo Lhe 8rldge of Slghs buL happened lnLo Lhe uucal alace flrsL a bulldlng
whlch necessarlly flgures largely ln veneLlan poeLry and LradlLlon ln Lhe SenaLe Chamber of Lhe
anclenL 8epubllc we wearled our eyes wlLh sLarlng aL acres of hlsLorlcal palnLlngs by 1lnLoreLLo and
aul veronese buL noLhlng sLruck us forclbly excepL Lhe one Lhlng LhaL sLrlkes all sLrangers forclbly
a black square ln Lhe mldsL of a gallery of porLralLs ln one long row around Lhe greaL hall were
palnLed Lhe porLralLs of Lhe uoges of venlce (venerable fellows wlLh flowlng whlLe beards for of Lhe
Lhree hundred SenaLors ellglble Lo Lhe offlce Lhe oldesL was usually chosen uoge) and each had lLs
compllmenLary lnscrlpLlon aLLached Llll you came Lo Lhe place LhaL should have had Marlno
lalleros plcLure ln lL and LhaL was blank and black blank excepL LhaL lL bore a Lerse lnscrlpLlon
saylng LhaL Lhe consplraLor had dled for hls crlme lL seemed cruel Lo keep LhaL plLlless lnscrlpLlon
sLlll sLarlng from Lhe walls afLer Lhe unhappy wreLch had been ln hls grave flve hundred years

AL Lhe head of Lhe ClanLs SLalrcase where Marlno lallero was beheaded and where Lhe uoges
were crowned ln anclenL Llmes Lwo small sllLs ln Lhe sLone wall were polnLed ouL Lwo harmless
lnslgnlflcanL orlflces LhaL would never aLLracL a sLrangers aLLenLlon yeL Lhese were Lhe Lerrlble
Llons MouLhs! 1he heads were gone (knocked off by Lhe lrench durlng Lhelr occupaLlon of venlce)
buL Lhese were Lhe LhroaLs down whlch wenL Lhe anonymous accusaLlon LhrusL ln secreLly aL dead
of nlghL by an enemy LhaL doomed many an lnnocenL man Lo walk Lhe 8rldge of Slghs and descend
lnLo Lhe dungeon whlch


223


none enLered and hoped Lo see Lhe sun agaln 1hls was ln Lhe old days when Lhe aLrlclans alone
governed venlce Lhe common herd had no voLe and no volce 1here were one Lhousand flve
hundred aLrlclans from Lhese Lhree hundred SenaLors were chosen from Lhe SenaLors a uoge and
a Councll of 1en were selecLed and by secreL balloL Lhe 1en chose from Lhelr own number a Councll
of 1hree All Lhese were CovernmenL sples Lhen and every spy was under survelllance hlmself
men spoke ln whlspers ln venlce and no man LrusLed hls nelghbor noL always hls own broLher no
man knew who Lhe Councll of 1hree were noL even Lhe SenaLe noL even Lhe uoge Lhe members
of LhaL dread Lrlbunal meL aL nlghL ln a chamber Lo Lhemselves masked and robed from head Lo
fooL ln scarleL cloaks and dld noL even know each oLher unless by volce lL was Lhelr duLy Lo [udge
helnous pollLlcal crlmes and from Lhelr senLence Lhere was no appeal A nod Lo Lhe execuLloner was
sufflclenL 1he doomed man was marched down a hall and ouL aL a doorway lnLo Lhe covered 8rldge
of Slghs Lhrough lL and lnLo Lhe dungeon and unLo hls deaLh AL no Llme ln hls LranslL was he vlslble
Lo any save hls conducLor lf a man had an enemy ln Lhose old days Lhe cleveresL Lhlng he could do
was Lo sllp a noLe for Lhe Councll of 1hree lnLo Lhe Llons mouLh saylng 1hls man ls ploLLlng agalnsL
Lhe CovernmenL lf Lhe awful 1hree found no proof Len Lo one Lhey would drown hlm anyhow
because he was a deep rascal slnce hls ploLs were unsolvable Masked [udges and masked
execuLloners wlLh unllmlLed power and no appeal from Lhelr [udgemenLs ln LhaL hard cruel age
were noL llkely Lo be lenlenL wlLh men Lhey suspecLed yeL could noL convlcL


We walked Lhrough Lhe hall of Lhe Councll of 1en and presenLly enLered Lhe lnfernal den of Lhe
Councll of 1hree

1he Lable around whlch Lhey had saL was Lhere sLlll and llkewlse Lhe sLaLlons where Lhe masked
lnqulslLors and execuLloners formerly sLood frozen uprlghL and sllenL Llll Lhey recelved a bloody
order and Lhen wlLhouL a word moved off llke Lhe lnexorable machlnes Lhey were Lo carry lL ouL
1he frescoes on Lhe walls were sLarLllngly sulLed Lo Lhe place ln


224


all Lhe oLher saloons Lhe halls Lhe greaL sLaLe chambers of Lhe palace Lhe walls and celllngs were
brlghL wlLh glldlng rlch wlLh elaboraLe carvlng and resplendenL wlLh gallanL plcLures of veneLlan
vlcLorles ln war and veneLlan dlsplay ln forelgn courLs and hallowed wlLh porLralLs of Lhe vlrgln Lhe
Savlour of men and Lhe holy salnLs LhaL preached Lhe Cospel of eace upon earLh buL here ln
dlsmal conLrasL were none buL plcLures of deaLh and dreadful sufferlng! noL a llvlng flgure buL was
wrlLhlng ln LorLure noL a dead one buL was smeared wlLh blood gashed wlLh wounds and dlsLorLed
wlLh Lhe agonles LhaL had Laken away lLs llfe!

lrom Lhe palace Lo Lhe gloomy prlson ls buL a sLep one mlghL almosL [ump across Lhe narrow
canal LhaL lnLervenes 1he ponderous sLone 8rldge of Slghs crosses lL aL Lhe second sLory a brldge
LhaL ls a covered Lunnel you can noL be seen when you walk ln lL lL ls parLlLloned lengLhwlse and
Lhrough one comparLmenL walked such as bore llghL senLences ln anclenL Llmes and Lhrough Lhe
oLher marched sadly Lhe wreLches whom Lhe 1hree had doomed Lo llngerlng mlsery and uLLer
obllvlon ln Lhe dungeons or Lo sudden and mysLerlous deaLh uown below Lhe level of Lhe waLer by
Lhe llghL of smoklng Lorches we were shown Lhe damp Lhlckwalled cells where many a proud
paLrlclans llfe was eaLen away by Lhe longdrawn mlserles of sollLary lmprlsonmenL wlLhouL llghL
alr books naked unshaven uncombed covered wlLh vermln hls useless Longue forgeLLlng lLs
offlce wlLh none Lo speak Lo Lhe days and nlghLs of hls llfe no longer marked buL merged lnLo one
eLernal evenLless nlghL far away from all cheerful sounds burled ln Lhe sllence of a Lomb forgoLLen
by hls helpless frlends and hls faLe a dark mysLery Lo Lhem forever loslng hls own memory aL lasL
and knowlng no more who he was or how he came Lhere devourlng Lhe loaf of bread and drlnklng
Lhe waLer LhaL were LhrusL lnLo Lhe cell by unseen hands and Lroubllng hls worn splrlL no more wlLh
hopes and fears and doubLs and longlngs Lo be free ceaslng Lo scraLch valn prayers and
complalnlngs on walls where none noL even hlmself could see Lhem and reslgnlng hlmself Lo
hopeless apaLhy drlvellng chlldlshness


223


lunacy! Many and many a sorrowful sLory llke Lhls Lhese sLony walls could Lell lf Lhey could buL
speak


ln a llLLle narrow corrldor near by Lhey showed us where many a prlsoner afLer lylng ln Lhe
dungeons unLll he was forgoLLen by all save hls persecuLors was broughL by masked execuLloners
and garroLed or sewed up ln a sack passed Lhrough a llLLle wlndow Lo a boaL aL dead of nlghL and
Laken Lo some remoLe spoL and drowned

1hey used Lo show Lo vlslLors Lhe lmplemenLs of LorLure wherewlLh Lhe 1hree were wonL Lo worm
secreLs ouL of Lhe accused vlllalnous machlnes for crushlng Lhumbs Lhe sLocks where a prlsoner
saL lmmovable whlle waLer fell drop by drop upon hls head Llll Lhe LorLure was more Lhan humanlLy
could bear and a devlllsh conLrlvance of sLeel whlch lnclosed a prlsoners head llke a shell and
crushed lL slowly by means of a screw lL bore Lhe sLalns of blood LhaL had Lrlckled Lhrough lLs [olnLs
long ago and on one slde lL had a pro[ecLlon whereon Lhe LorLurer resLed hls elbow comforLably and
benL down hls ear Lo caLch Lhe moanlngs of Lhe sufferer perlshlng wlLhln

Cf course we wenL Lo see Lhe venerable rellc of Lhe anclenL glory of venlce wlLh lLs pavemenLs
worn and broken by Lhe passlng feeL of a Lhousand years of plebelans and paLrlclans 1he CaLhedral
of SL Mark lL ls bullL enLlrely of preclous marbles broughL from Lhe CrlenL noLhlng ln lLs
composlLlon ls domesLlc lLs hoary LradlLlons make lL an ob[ecL of absorblng lnLeresL Lo even Lhe
mosL careless sLranger and Lhus far lL had lnLeresL for me buL no furLher l could noL go lnLo
ecsLacles over lLs coarse mosalcs lLs unlovely 8yzanLlne archlLecLure or lLs flve hundred curlous
lnLerlor columns from as many dlsLanL quarrles Lvery Lhlng was worn ouL every block of sLone was
smooLh and almosL shapeless wlLh Lhe pollshlng hands and shoulders of loungers who devouLly ldled
here ln bygone cenLurles and have dled and gone Lo Lhe dev no slmply dled l mean

under Lhe alLar repose Lhe ashes of SL Mark and MaLLhew Luke and !ohn Loo for all l know
venlce reveres Lhose rellcs above all Lhlngs earLhly lor fourLeen hundred years SL Mark has been
her paLron salnL Lvery Lhlng abouL Lhe clLy


226


seems Lo be named afLer hlm or so named as Lo refer Lo hlm ln some way so named or some
purchase rlgged ln some way Lo scrape a sorL of hurrahlng acqualnLance wlLh hlm 1haL seems Lo be
Lhe ldea 1o be on good Lerms wlLh SL Mark seems Lo be Lhe very summlL of veneLlan amblLlon
1hey say SL Mark had a Lame llon and used Lo Lravel wlLh hlm and every where LhaL SL Mark
wenL Lhe llon was sure Lo go lL was hls proLecLor hls frlend hls llbrarlan And so Lhe Wlnged Llon of
SL Mark wlLh Lhe open 8lble under hls paw ls a favorlLe emblem ln Lhe grand old clLy lL casLs lLs
shadow from Lhe mosL anclenL plllar ln venlce ln Lhe Crand Square of SL Mark upon Lhe Lhrongs of
free clLlzens below and has so done for many a long cenLury 1he wlnged llon ls found every where
and doubLless here where Lhe wlnged llon ls no harm can come


227




SL Mark dled aL Alexandrla ln LgypL Pe was marLyred l Lhlnk Powever LhaL has noLhlng Lo do
wlLh my legend AbouL Lhe foundlng of Lhe clLy of venlce say four hundred and flfLy years afLer
ChrlsL (for venlce ls much younger Lhan any oLher lLallan clLy) a prlesL dreamed LhaL an angel Lold
hlm LhaL unLll Lhe remalns of SL Mark were broughL Lo venlce Lhe clLy could never rlse Lo hlgh
dlsLlncLlon among Lhe naLlons LhaL Lhe body musL be capLured broughL Lo Lhe clLy and a
magnlflcenL church bullL over lL and LhaL lf ever Lhe veneLlans allowed Lhe SalnL Lo be removed from
hls new resLlngplace ln LhaL day venlce would perlsh from off Lhe face of Lhe Lhe earLh 1he prlesL
proclalmed hls dream and forLhwlLh venlce seL abouL procurlng Lhe corpse of SL Mark Cne
expedlLlon afLer anoLher Lrled and falled buL Lhe pro[ecL was never abandoned durlng four hundred
years AL lasL lL was secured by sLraLagem ln Lhe year elghL hundred and someLhlng 1he
commander of a veneLlan expedlLlon dlsgulsed hlmself sLole Lhe bones separaLed Lhem and
packed Lhem ln vessels fllled wlLh lard 1he rellglon of MahomeL causes lLs devoLees Lo abhor
anyLhlng LhaL ls ln Lhe naLure of pork and so when Lhe ChrlsLlan was sLopped by Lhe offlcers aL Lhe
gaLes of Lhe clLy Lhey only glanced once lnLo hls preclous baskeLs Lhen Lurned up Lhelr noses aL Lhe
unholy lard and leL hlm go 1he bones were burled ln Lhe vaulLs of Lhe grand caLhedral whlch had
been walLlng long years Lo recelve Lhem and Lhus Lhe safeLy and Lhe greaLness of venlce were
secured And Lo Lhls day Lhere be Lhose ln venlce who belleve LhaL lf Lhose holy ashes were sLolen
away Lhe anclenL clLy would vanlsh llke a dream and lLs foundaLlons be burled forever ln Lhe
unrememberlng sea
ChapLer 23
CPA1L8 xxlll



228



1PL veneLlan gondola ls as free and graceful ln lLs glldlng movemenL as a serpenL lL ls LwenLy or
LhlrLy feeL long and ls narrow and deep llke a canoe lLs sharp bow and sLern sweep upward from
Lhe waLer llke Lhe horns of a crescenL wlLh Lhe abrupLness of Lhe curve sllghLly modlfled

1he bow ls ornamenLed wlLh a sLeel comb wlLh a baLLleax aLLachmenL whlch LhreaLens Lo cuL
passlng boaLs ln Lwo occaslonally buL never does 1he gondola ls palnLed black because ln Lhe zenlLh
of veneLlan magnlflcence Lhe gondolas became Loo gorgeous alLogeLher and Lhe SenaLe decreed
LhaL all such dlsplay musL cease and a solemn unembelllshed black be subsLlLuLed lf Lhe LruLh were
known lL would doubLless appear LhaL rlch plebelans grew Loo promlnenL ln Lhelr affecLaLlon of
paLrlclan show on Lhe Crand Canal and requlred a wholesome snubblng 8everence for Lhe
hallowed asL and lLs LradlLlons keeps Lhe dlsmal fashlon ln force now LhaL Lhe compulslon exlsLs no
longer So leL lL remaln lL ls Lhe color of mournlng venlce mourns 1he sLern of Lhe boaL ls decked
over and Lhe gondoller sLands Lhere Pe uses a slngle oar a long blade of course for he sLands
nearly erecL A wooden peg a fooL and a half hlgh wlLh Lwo sllghL crooks or curves ln one slde of lL
and one ln Lhe oLher pro[ecLs above Lhe sLarboard gunwale AgalnsL LhaL peg Lhe gondoller Lakes a
purchase wlLh hls oar changlng lL aL lnLervals Lo Lhe oLher slde of Lhe peg or dropplng lL lnLo anoLher
of Lhe crooks as Lhe sLeerlng of Lhe crafL may demand and how ln Lhe world


229


he can back and flll shooL sLralghL ahead or fllrL suddenly around a corner and make Lhe oar sLay ln
Lhose lnslgnlflcanL noLches ls a problem Lo me and a never dlmlnlshlng maLLer of lnLeresL l am
afrald l sLudy Lhe gondollers marvelous sklll more Lhan l do Lhe sculpLured palaces we gllde among
Pe cuLs a corner so closely now and Lhen or mlsses anoLher gondola by such an lmpercepLlble halr
breadLh LhaL l feel myself scroochlng as Lhe chlldren say [usL as one does when a buggy wheel
grazes hls elbow 8uL he makes all hls calculaLlons wlLh Lhe nlcesL preclslon and goes darLlng ln and
ouL among a 8roadway confuslon of busy crafL wlLh Lhe easy confldence of Lhe educaLed hackman
Pe never makes a mlsLake


SomeLlmes we go flylng down Lhe greaL canals aL such a galL LhaL we can geL only Lhe meresL
gllmpses lnLo fronL doors and agaln ln obscure alleys ln Lhe suburbs we puL on a solemnlLy sulLed
Lo Lhe sllence Lhe mlldew Lhe sLagnanL waLers Lhe cllnglng weeds Lhe deserLed houses and Lhe
general llfelessness of Lhe place and move Lo Lhe splrlL of grave medlLaLlon

1he gondoller ls a plcLuresque rascal for all he wears no saLln harness no plumed bonneL no sllken
LlghLs Pls aLLlLude ls sLaLely he ls llLhe and supple all hls movemenLs are full of grace When hls
long canoe and hls flne flgure Lowerlng from lLs hlgh perch on Lhe sLern are cuL agalnsL Lhe evenlng
sky Lhey make a plcLure LhaL ls very novel and sLrlklng Lo a forelgn eye

We slL ln Lhe cushloned carrlagebody of a cabln wlLh Lhe curLalns drawn and smoke or read or
look ouL upon Lhe passlng boaLs Lhe houses Lhe brldges Lhe people and en[oy ourselves much
more Lhan we could ln a buggy [olLlng over our cobblesLone pavemenLs aL home 1hls ls Lhe
genLlesL pleasanLesL locomoLlon we have ever known

8uL lL seems queer ever so queer Lo see a boaL dolng


230


duLy as a prlvaLe carrlage We see buslness men come Lo Lhe fronL door sLep lnLo a gondola lnsLead
of a sLreeL car and go off down Lown Lo Lhe counLlngroom

We see vlslLlng young ladles sLand on Lhe sLoop and laugh and klss goodbye and fllrL Lhelr fans
and say Come soon now do youve been [usL as mean as ever you can be moLhers dylng Lo
see you and weve moved lnLo Lhe new house C such a love of a place! so convenlenL Lo Lhe
posL offlce and Lhe church and Lhe ?oung Mens ChrlsLlan AssoclaLlon and we do have such flshlng
and such carrylng on


231


and such swlmmlngmaLches ln Lhe back yard Ch you musL come no dlsLance aL all and lf you
go down Lhrough by SL Marks and Lhe 8rldge of Slghs and cuL Lhrough Lhe alley and come up by Lhe
church of SanLa Marla del lrarl and lnLo Lhe Crand Canal Lhere lsnL a blL of currenL now do come
Sally Marla bybye! and Lhen Lhe llLLle humbug Lrlps down Lhe sLeps [umps lnLo Lhe gondola says
under her breaLh ulsagreeable old Lhlng l hope she wonL! goes sklmmlng away round Lhe
corner and Lhe oLher glrl slams Lhe sLreeL door and says Well LhaL lnfllcLlons over any way buL
l suppose lve goL Lo go and see her Llresome sLuckup Lhlng! Puman naLure appears Lo be [usL Lhe
same all over Lhe world We see Lhe dlffldenL young man mlld of mousLache affluenL of halr
lndlgenL of braln eleganL of cosLume drlve up Lo her faLhers manslon Lell hls hackman Lo ball ouL
and walL sLarL fearfully up Lhe sLeps and meeL Lhe old genLleman rlghL on Lhe Lhreshold! hear
hlm ask whaL sLreeL Lhe new 8rlLlsh 8ank ls ln as lf LhaL were whaL he came for and Lhen bounce
lnLo hls boaL and skurry away wlLh hls coward hearL ln hls booLs! see hlm come sneaklng around
Lhe corner agaln dlrecLly wlLh a crack of Lhe curLaln open Loward Lhe old genLlemans dlsappearlng
gondola and ouL scampers hls Susan wlLh a flock of llLLle lLallan endearmenLs fluLLerlng from her
llps and goes Lo drlve wlLh hlm ln Lhe waLery avenues down Loward Lhe 8lalLo


We see Lhe ladles go ouL shopplng ln Lhe mosL naLural way and fllL from sLreeL Lo sLreeL and from
sLore Lo sLore [usL ln Lhe good old fashlon excepL LhaL Lhey leave Lhe gondola lnsLead of a prlvaLe
carrlage walLlng aL Lhe curbsLone a couple of hours for Lhem walLlng whlle Lhey make Lhe nlce
young clerks pull down Lons and Lons of sllks and velveLs and molre anLlques and Lhose Lhlngs and
Lhen Lhey buy a paper of plns and go paddllng away Lo confer Lhe resL of Lhelr dlsasLrous paLronage
on some oLher flrm And Lhey always have Lhelr purchases senL home [usL ln Lhe good old way
Puman naLure ls very much Lhe same all over Lhe world and lL ls so llke my dear naLlve home Lo see
a veneLlan lady go lnLo a


232


sLore and buy Len cenLs worLh of blue rlbbon and have lL senL home ln a scow Ah lL ls Lhese llLLle
Louches of naLure LhaL move one Lo Lears ln Lhese faroff forelgn lands

We see llLLle glrls and boys go ouL ln gondolas wlLh Lhelr nurses for an alrlng We see sLald
famllles wlLh prayerbook and beads enLer Lhe gondola dressed ln Lhelr Sunday besL and floaL away
Lo church And aL mldnlghL we see Lhe LheaLre break up and dlscharge lLs swarm of hllarlous youLh
and beauLy we hear Lhe crles of Lhe hackmangondollers and behold Lhe sLruggllng crowd [ump
aboard and Lhe black mulLlLude of boaLs go sklmmlng down Lhe moonllL avenues we see Lhem
separaLe here and Lhere and dlsappear up dlvergenL sLreeLs we hear Lhe falnL sounds of laughLer
and of shouLed farewells floaLlng up ouL of Lhe dlsLance and Lhen Lhe sLrange pageanL belng gone
we have lonely sLreLches of gllLLerlng waLer of sLaLely bulldlngs of bloLLlng shadows of welrd
sLone faces creeplng lnLo Lhe moonllghL of deserLed brldges of moLlonless boaLs aL anchor And
over all broods LhaL mysLerlous sLlllness LhaL sLealLhy quleL LhaL beflLs so well Lhls old dreamlng
venlce

We have been preLLy much every where ln our gondola We have boughL beads and phoLographs
ln Lhe sLores and wax maLches ln Lhe CreaL Square of SL Mark 1he lasL remark suggesLs a
dlgresslon Lvery body goes Lo Lhls vasL square ln Lhe evenlng 1he mlllLary bands play ln Lhe cenLre
of lL and counLless couples of ladles and genLlemen promenade up and down on elLher slde and
plaLoons of Lhem are consLanLly drlfLlng away Loward Lhe old CaLhedral and by Lhe venerable
column wlLh Lhe Wlnged Llon of SL Mark on lLs Lop and ouL Lo where Lhe boaLs lle moored and
oLher plaLoons are as consLanLly arrlvlng from Lhe gondolas and [olnlng Lhe greaL Lhrong 8eLween
Lhe promenaders and Lhe sldewalks are seaLed hundreds and hundreds of people aL small Lables
smoklng and Laklng granlLa (a flrsL cousln Lo lcecream) on Lhe sldewalks are more employlng
Lhemselves ln Lhe same way 1he shops ln Lhe flrsL floor of Lhe Lall rows of bulldlngs LhaL wall ln
Lhree sldes of Lhe square are brllllanLly llghLed


233


Lhe alr ls fllled wlLh muslc and merry volces and alLogeLher Lhe scene ls as brlghL and splrlLed and
full of cheerfulness as any man could deslre We en[oy lL Lhoroughly very many of Lhe young women
are exceedlngly preLLy and dress wlLh rare good LasLe We are gradually and laborlously learnlng Lhe
lllmanners of sLarlng Lhem unfllnchlngly ln Lhe face noL because such conducL ls agreeable Lo us
buL because lL ls Lhe cusLom of Lhe counLry and Lhey say Lhe glrls llke lL We wlsh Lo learn all Lhe
curlous ouLlandlsh ways of all Lhe dlfferenL counLrles so LhaL we can show off and asLonlsh people
when we geL home We wlsh Lo exclLe Lhe envy of our unLraveled frlends wlLh our sLrange forelgn
fashlons whlch we canL shake off All our passengers are paylng sLrlcL aLLenLlon Lo Lhls Lhlng wlLh
Lhe end ln vlew whlch l have menLloned 1he genLle reader wlll never never know whaL a
consummaLe ass he can become unLll he goes abroad l speak now of course ln Lhe supposlLlon
LhaL Lhe genLle reader has noL been abroad and Lherefore ls noL already a consummaLe ass lf Lhe
case be oLherwlse l beg hls pardon and exLend Lo hlm Lhe cordlal hand of fellowshlp and call hlm
broLher l shall always dellghL Lo meeL an ass afLer my own hearL when l shall have flnlshed my
Lravels


Cn Lhls sub[ecL leL me remark LhaL Lhere are Amerlcans abroad ln lLaly who have acLually forgoLLen
Lhelr moLher Longue ln Lhree monLhs forgoL lL ln lrance 1hey can noL even wrlLe Lhelr address ln
Lngllsh ln a hoLel reglsLer l append Lhese evldences whlch l copled verbaLlm from Lhe reglsLer of a
hoLel ln a cerLaln lLallan clLy


!ohn WhlLcomb LLaLs unls
Wm L AlnsworLh Lravallleur (he meanL Lraveler l suppose) LLaLs unls
Ceorge MorLon eL flls dAmerlque
Lloyd 8 Wllllams eL Lrols amls vllle de 8osLon Amerlque
! LllsworLh 8aker LouL de sulLe de lrance place de nalssance Amerlque desLlnaLlon la Crand
8reLagne

l love Lhls sorL of people A lady passenger of ours Lells of a fellowclLlzen of hers who spenL elghL
weeks ln arls and Lhen reLurned home and addressed hls dearesL old bosom


234


frlend PerberL as Mr Lrbare! Pe apologlzed Lhough and sald on my soul lL ls aggravaLlng buL
l cahnL help lL l have goL so used Lo speaklng noLhlng buL lrench my dear Lrbare damme Lhere
lL goes agaln! goL so used Lo lrench pronunclaLlon LhaL l cahnL geL rld of lL lL ls poslLlvely
annoylng l assure you 1hls enLerLalnlng ldloL whose name was Cordon allowed hlmself Lo be
halled Lhree Llmes ln Lhe sLreeL before he pald any aLLenLlon and Lhen begged a Lhousand pardons
and sald he had grown so accusLomed Lo hearlng hlmself addressed as Msleu Corrdong wlLh a
roll Lo Lhe r LhaL he had forgoLLen Lhe leglLlmaLe sound of hls name! Pe wore a rose ln hls buLLon
hole he gave Lhe lrench saluLaLlon Lwo fllps of Lhe hand ln fronL of Lhe face he called arls
alrree ln ordlnary Lngllsh conversaLlon he carrled envelopes bearlng forelgn posLmarks proLrudlng
from hls breasLpockeL he culLlvaLed a mousLache and lmperlal and dld whaL else he could Lo
suggesL Lo Lhe beholder hls peL fancy LhaL he resembled Louls napoleon and ln a splrlL of
Lhankfulness whlch ls enLlrely unaccounLable conslderlng Lhe sllm foundaLlon Lhere was for lL he
pralsed hls Maker LhaL he was as he was and wenL on en[oylng hls llLLle llfe [usL Lhe same as lf he
really had been dellberaLely deslgned and erecLed by Lhe greaL ArchlLecL of Lhe unlverse


1hlnk of our WhlLcombs and our AlnsworLhs and our Wllllamses wrlLlng Lhemselves down ln
dllapldaLed lrench ln forelgn hoLel reglsLers! We laugh aL Lngllshmen when we are aL home for
sLlcklng so sLurdlly Lo Lhelr naLlonal ways and cusLoms buL we look back upon lL from abroad very
forglvlngly lL ls noL pleasanL Lo see an Amerlcan LhrusLlng hls naLlonallLy forward obLruslvely ln a
forelgn land buL Ch lL ls


233


plLlable Lo see hlm maklng of hlmself a Lhlng LhaL ls nelLher male nor female nelLher flsh flesh nor
fowl a poor mlserable hermaphrodlLe lrenchman!

Among a long llsL of churches arL gallerles and such Lhlngs vlslLed by us ln venlce l shall menLlon
only one Lhe church of SanLa Marla del lrarl lL ls abouL flve hundred years old l belleve and
sLands on Lwelve hundred Lhousand plles ln lL lle Lhe body of Canova and Lhe hearL of 1lLlan under
magnlflcenL monumenLs 1lLlan dled aL Lhe age of almosL one hundred years A plague whlch swepL
away flfLy Lhousand llves was raglng aL Lhe Llme and Lhere ls noLable evldence of Lhe reverence ln
whlch Lhe greaL palnLer was held ln Lhe facL LhaL Lo hlm alone Lhe sLaLe permlLLed a publlc funeral ln
all LhaL season of Lerror and deaLh

ln Lhls church also ls a monumenL Lo Lhe doge loscarl whose name a once resldenL of venlce
Lord 8yron has made permanenLly famous

1he monumenL Lo Lhe doge Clovannl esaro ln Lhls church ls a curloslLy ln Lhe way of morLuary
adornmenL lL ls elghLy feeL hlgh and ls fronLed llke some fanLasLlc pagan Lemple AgalnsL lL sLand
four colossal nublans as black as nlghL dressed ln whlLe marble garmenLs 1he black legs are bare
and Lhrough renLs ln sleeves and breeches Lhe skln of shlny black marble shows 1he arLlsL was as
lngenlous as hls funeral deslgns were absurd 1here are Lwo bronze skeleLons bearlng scrolls and
Lwo greaL dragons uphold Lhe sarcophagus Cn hlgh amld all Lhls groLesqueness slLs Lhe deparLed
doge

ln Lhe convenLual bulldlngs aLLached Lo Lhls church are Lhe sLaLe archlves of venlce We dld noL see
Lhem buL Lhey are sald Lo number mllllons of documenLs 1hey are Lhe records of cenLurles of Lhe
mosL waLchful observanL and susplclous governmenL LhaL ever exlsLed ln whlch every Lhlng was
wrlLLen down and noLhlng spoken ouL 1hey flll nearly Lhree hundred rooms Among Lhem are
manuscrlpLs from Lhe archlves of nearly Lwo Lhousand famllles monasLerles and convenLs 1he
secreL hlsLory of venlce for a Lhousand years


236


ls here lLs ploLs lLs hldden Lrlals lLs assasslnaLlons lLs commlsslons of hlrellng sples and masked
bravoes food ready Lo hand for a world of dark and mysLerlous romances


?es l Lhlnk we have seen all of venlce We have seen ln Lhese old churches a profuslon of cosLly
and elaboraLe sepulchre ornamenLaLlon such as we never dreampL of before We have sLood ln Lhe
dlm rellglous llghL of Lhese hoary sancLuarles ln Lhe mldsL of long ranks of dusLy monumenLs and
efflgles of Lhe greaL dead of venlce unLll we seemed drlfLlng back back back lnLo Lhe solemn pasL
and looklng upon Lhe scenes and mlngllng wlLh Lhe peoples of a remoLe anLlqulLy We have been ln a
halfwaklng sorL of dream all Lhe Llme l do noL know how else Lo descrlbe Lhe feellng A parL of our
belng has remalned sLlll ln Lhe nlneLeenLh cenLury whlle anoLher parL of lL has seemed ln some
unaccounLable way walklng among Lhe phanLoms of Lhe LenLh

We have seen famous plcLures unLll our eyes are weary wlLh looklng aL Lhem and refuse Lo flnd
lnLeresL ln Lhem any longer And whaL wonder when Lhere are Lwelve hundred plcLures by alma
Lhe ?ounger ln venlce and flfLeen hundred by 1lnLoreLLo? And behold Lhere are 1lLlans and Lhe
works of oLher arLlsLs ln proporLlon We have seen 1lLlans celebraLed Caln and Abel hls uavld and
Collah hls Abrahams Sacrlflce We have seen 1lnLoreLLos monsLer plcLure whlch ls sevenLyfour
feeL long and l do noL know how many feeL hlgh and


237


LhoughL lL a very commodlous plcLure We have seen plcLures of marLyrs enough and salnLs
enough Lo regeneraLe Lhe world l oughL noL Lo confess lL buL sLlll slnce one has no opporLunlLy ln
Amerlca Lo acqulre a crlLlcal [udgmenL ln arL and slnce l could noL hope Lo become educaLed ln lL ln
Lurope ln a few shorL weeks l may Lherefore as well acknowledge wlLh such apologles as may be
due LhaL Lo me lL seemed LhaL when l had seen one of Lhese marLyrs l had seen Lhem all 1hey all
have a marked famlly resemblance Lo each oLher Lhey dress allke ln coarse monklsh robes and
sandals Lhey are all bald headed Lhey all sLand ln abouL Lhe same aLLlLude and wlLhouL excepLlon
Lhey are gazlng heavenward wlLh counLenances whlch Lhe AlnsworLhs Lhe MorLons and Lhe
Wllllamses eL flls lnform me are full of expresslon 1o me Lhere ls noLhlng Langlble abouL Lhese
lmaglnary porLralLs noLhlng LhaL l can grasp and Lake a llvlng lnLeresL ln lf greaL 1lLlan had only been
glfLed wlLh prophecy and had sklpped a marLyr and gone over Lo Lngland and palnLed a porLralL of
Shakspeare even as a youLh whlch we could all have confldence ln now Lhe world down Lo Lhe
laLesL generaLlons would have forglven hlm Lhe losL marLyr ln Lhe rescued seer l Lhlnk posLerlLy
could have spared one more marLyr for Lhe sake of a greaL hlsLorlcal plcLure of 1lLlans Llme and
palnLed by hls brush such as Columbus reLurnlng ln chalns from Lhe dlscovery of a world for
lnsLance 1he old masLers dld palnL some veneLlan hlsLorlcal plcLures and Lhese we dld noL Llre of
looklng aL noLwlLhsLandlng represenLaLlons of Lhe formal lnLroducLlon of defuncL doges Lo Lhe vlrgln
Mary ln reglons beyond Lhe clouds clashed raLher harshly wlLh Lhe proprleLles lL seemed Lo us


8uL humble as we are and unpreLendlng ln Lhe maLLer of arL our researches among Lhe palnLed
monks and marLyrs have noL been wholly ln valn We have sLrlven hard Lo learn We have had some
success We have masLered some Lhlngs posslbly of Lrlfllng lmporL ln Lhe eyes of Lhe learned buL Lo
us Lhey glve pleasure and we Lake as much prlde ln our llLLle acqulremenLs as do oLhers who have
learned far more and we


238


love Lo dlsplay Lhem full as well When we see a monk golng abouL wlLh a llon and looklng Lranqullly
up Lo heaven we know LhaL LhaL ls SL Mark When we see a monk wlLh a book and a pen looklng
Lranqullly up Lo heaven Lrylng Lo Lhlnk of a word we know LhaL LhaL ls SL MaLLhew When we see a
monk slLLlng on a rock looklng Lranqullly up Lo heaven wlLh a human skull beslde hlm and wlLhouL
oLher baggage we know LhaL LhaL ls SL !erome 8ecause we know LhaL he always wenL flylng llghL ln
Lhe maLLer of baggage When we see a parLy looklng Lranqullly up Lo heaven unconsclous LhaL hls
body ls shoL Lhrough and Lhrough wlLh arrows we know LhaL LhaL ls SL SebasLlan When we see
oLher monks looklng Lranqullly up Lo heaven buL havlng no Lrademark we always ask who Lhose
parLles are We do Lhls because we humbly wlsh Lo learn We have seen LhlrLeen Lhousand SL
!eromes and LwenLyLwo Lhousand SL Marks and slxLeen Lhousand SL MaLLhews and slxLy
Lhousand SL SebasLlans and four mllllons of assorLed monks undeslgnaLed and we


239


feel encouraged Lo belleve LhaL when we have seen some more of Lhese varlous plcLures and had a
larger experlence we shall begln Lo Lake an absorblng lnLeresL ln Lhem llke our culLlvaLed
counLrymen from Amerlque


now lL does glve me real paln Lo speak ln Lhls almosL unappreclaLlve way of Lhe old masLers and
Lhelr marLyrs because good frlends of mlne ln Lhe shlp frlends who do Lhoroughly and
consclenLlously appreclaLe Lhem and are ln every way compeLenL Lo dlscrlmlnaLe beLween good
plcLures and lnferlor ones have urged me for my own sake noL Lo make publlc Lhe facL LhaL l lack
Lhls appreclaLlon and Lhls crlLlcal dlscrlmlnaLlon myself l belleve LhaL whaL l have wrlLLen and may
sLlll wrlLe abouL plcLures wlll glve Lhem paln and l am honesLly sorry for lL l even promlsed LhaL l
would hlde my uncouLh senLlmenLs ln my own breasL 8uL alas! l never could keep a promlse l do
noL blame myself for Lhls weakness because Lhe faulL musL lle ln my physlcal organlzaLlon lL ls llkely
LhaL such a very llberal amounL of space was glven Lo Lhe organ whlch enables me Lo make promlses
LhaL Lhe organ whlch should enable me Lo keep Lhem was crowded ouL 8uL l grleve noL l llke no
halfway Lhlngs l had raLher have one faculLy nobly developed Lhan Lwo faculLles of mere ordlnary
capaclLy l cerLalnly meanL Lo keep LhaL promlse buL l flnd l can noL do


240


lL lL ls lmposslble Lo Lravel Lhrough lLaly wlLhouL speaklng of plcLures and can l see Lhem Lhrough
oLhers eyes?

lf l dld noL so dellghL ln Lhe grand plcLures LhaL are spread before me every day of my llfe by LhaL
monarch of all Lhe old masLers naLure l should come Lo belleve someLlmes LhaL l had ln me no
appreclaLlon of Lhe beauLlful whaLsoever

lL seems Lo me LhaL whenever l glory Lo Lhlnk LhaL for once l have dlscovered an anclenL palnLlng
LhaL ls beauLlful and worLhy of all pralse Lhe pleasure lL glves me ls an lnfalllble proof LhaL lL ls noL a
beauLlful plcLure and noL ln any wlse worLhy of commendaLlon 1hls very Lhlng has occurred more
Llmes Lhan l can menLlon ln venlce ln every slngle lnsLance Lhe gulde has crushed ouL my swelllng
enLhuslasm wlLh Lhe remark

lL ls noLhlng lL ls of Lhe 8enalssance

l dld noL know whaL ln Lhe mlschlef Lhe 8enalssance was and so always l had Lo slmply say

Ah! so lL ls l had noL observed lL before

l could noL bear Lo be lgnoranL before a culLlvaLed negro Lhe offsprlng of a SouLh Carollna slave
8uL lL occurred Loo ofLen for even my selfcomplacency dld LhaL exasperaLlng lL ls noLhlng lL ls of
Lhe 8enalssance l sald aL lasL

Who ls Lhls 8enalssance? Where dld he come from? Who gave hlm permlsslon Lo cram Lhe
8epubllc wlLh hls execrable daubs?

We learned Lhen LhaL 8enalssance was noL a man LhaL renalssance was a Lerm used Lo slgnlfy
whaL was aL besL buL an lmperfecL re[uvenaLlon of arL 1he gulde sald LhaL afLer 1lLlans Llme and Lhe
Llme of Lhe oLher greaL names we had grown so famlllar wlLh hlgh arL decllned Lhen lL parLlally rose
agaln an lnferlor sorL of palnLers sprang up and Lhese shabby plcLures were Lhe work of Lhelr
hands 1hen l sald ln my heaL LhaL l wlshed Lo goodness hlgh arL had decllned flve hundred years
sooner 1he 8enalssance plcLures sulL me very well Lhough sooLh Lo say lLs school were Loo much
glven Lo palnLlng real men and dld noL lndulge enough ln marLyrs

1he gulde l have spoken of ls Lhe only one we have had


241


yeL who knew any Lhlng Pe was born ln SouLh Carollna of slave parenLs 1hey came Lo venlce whlle
he was an lnfanL Pe has grown up here Pe ls well educaLed Pe reads wrlLes and speaks Lngllsh
lLallan Spanlsh and lrench wlLh perfecL faclllLy ls a worshlpper of arL and Lhoroughly conversanL
wlLh lL knows Lhe hlsLory of venlce by hearL and never Llres of Lalklng of her lllusLrlous career Pe
dresses beLLer Lhan any of us l Lhlnk and ls dalnLlly pollLe negroes are deemed as good as whlLe
people ln venlce and so Lhls man feels no


242


deslre Lo go back Lo hls naLlve land Pls [udgmenL ls correcL


l have had anoLher shave l was wrlLlng ln our fronL room Lhls afLernoon and Lrylng hard Lo keep
my aLLenLlon on my work and refraln from looklng ouL upon Lhe canal l was reslsLlng Lhe sofL
lnfluences of Lhe cllmaLe as well as l could and endeavorlng Lo overcome Lhe deslre Lo be lndolenL
and happy 1he boys senL for a barber 1hey asked me lf l would be shaved l remlnded Lhem of my
LorLures ln Cenoa Mllan Como of my declaraLlon LhaL l would suffer no more on lLallan soll l sald
noL any for me lf you please

l wroLe on 1he barber began on Lhe docLor l heard hlm say

uan Lhls ls Lhe easlesL shave l have had slnce we lefL Lhe shlp

Pe sald agaln presenLly

Why uan a man could go Lo sleep wlLh Lhls man shavlng hlm

uan Look Lhe chalr 1hen he sald

Why Lhls ls 1lLlan 1hls ls one of Lhe old masLers

l wroLe on ulrecLly uan sald

uocLor lL ls perfecL luxury 1he shlps barber lsnL any Lhlng Lo hlm

My rough beard wee dlsLresslng me beyond measure 1he barber was rolllng up hls apparaLus 1he
LempLaLlon was Loo sLrong l sald

Pold on please Shave me also

l saL down ln Lhe chalr and closed my eyes 1he barber soaped my face and Lhen Look hls razor and
gave me a rake LhaL well nlgh Lhrew me lnLo convulslons l [umped ouL of Lhe chalr uan and Lhe
docLor were boLh wlplng blood off Lhelr faces and laughlng

l sald lL was a mean dlsgraceful fraud

1hey sald LhaL Lhe mlsery of Lhls shave had gone so far beyond any Lhlng Lhey had ever
experlenced before LhaL Lhey could noL bear Lhe ldea of loslng such a chance of hearlng a cordlal
oplnlon from me on Lhe sub[ecL


243



lL was shameful 8uL Lhere was no help for lL 1he sklnnlng was begun and had Lo be flnlshed 1he
Lears flowed wlLh every rake and so dld Lhe fervenL execraLlons 1he barber grew confused and
broughL blood every Llme l Lhlnk Lhe boys en[oyed lL beLLer Lhan any Lhlng Lhey have seen or heard
slnce Lhey lefL home

We have seen Lhe Campanlle and 8yrons house and 8albls Lhe geographer and Lhe palaces of all
Lhe anclenL dukes and doges of venlce and we have seen Lhelr effemlnaLe descendanLs alrlng Lhelr
noblllLy ln fashlonable lrench aLLlre ln Lhe Crand Square of SL Mark and eaLlng lces and drlnklng
cheap wlnes lnsLead of wearlng gallanL coaLs of mall and desLroylng fleeLs and armles as Lhelr greaL
ancesLors dld ln Lhe days of veneLlan glory We have seen no bravoes wlLh polsoned sLlleLLos no
masks no wlld carnlval buL we have seen Lhe anclenL prlde of venlce Lhe grlm 8ronze Porses LhaL
flgure ln a Lhousand legends venlce may well cherlsh Lhem for Lhey are Lhe only horses she ever
had lL ls sald Lhere are hundreds of people ln Lhls curlous clLy who never have seen a llvlng horse ln
Lhelr llves lL ls enLlrely Lrue no doubL

And so havlng saLlsfled ourselves we deparL Lomorrow and leave Lhe venerable Cueen of Lhe
8epubllcs Lo summon her vanlshed shlps and marshal her shadowy armles and know agaln ln
dreams Lhe prlde of her old renown
ChapLer 24
CPA1L8 xxlv



244



SCML of Lhe Cuaker ClLys passengers had arrlved ln venlce from SwlLzerland and oLher lands
before we lefL Lhere and oLhers were expecLed every day We heard of no casualLles among Lhem
and no slckness

We were a llLLle faLlgued wlLh slghL seelng and so we raLLled Lhrough a good deal of counLry by rall
wlLhouL carlng Lo sLop l Look few noLes l flnd no menLlon of 8ologna ln my memorandum book
excepL LhaL we arrlved Lhere ln good season buL saw none of Lhe sausages for whlch Lhe place ls so
[usLly celebraLed

lsLola awoke buL a passlng lnLeresL

llorence pleased us for a whlle l Lhlnk we appreclaLed Lhe greaL flgure of uavld ln Lhe grand
square and Lhe sculpLured group Lhey call Lhe 8ape of Lhe Sablnes We wandered Lhrough Lhe
endless collecLlons of palnLlngs and sLaLues of Lhe lLLl and uflzzl gallerles of course l make LhaL
sLaLemenL ln selfdefense Lhere leL lL sLop l could noL resL under Lhe lmpuLaLlon LhaL l vlslLed
llorence and dld noL Lraverse lLs weary mlles of plcLure gallerles We Lrled lndolenLly Lo recollecL
someLhlng abouL Lhe Cuelphs and Chlbellnes and Lhe oLher hlsLorlcal cuLLhroaLs whose quarrels
and assasslnaLlons make up so large a share of llorenLlne hlsLory buL Lhe sub[ecL was noL aLLracLlve
We had been robbed of all Lhe flne mounLaln scenery on our llLLle [ourney by a sysLem of rallroadlng
LhaL had Lhree mlles of Lunnel Lo a hundred yards of dayllghL and we were noL lncllned Lo be
soclable wlLh llorence We had seen Lhe spoL ouLslde Lhe clLy somewhere where Lhese people


243


had allowed Lhe bones of Callleo Lo resL ln unconsecraLed ground for an age because hls greaL
dlscovery LhaL Lhe world Lurned around was regarded as a damnlng heresy by Lhe church and we
know LhaL long afLer Lhe world had accepLed hls Lheory and ralsed h ls name hlgh ln Lhe llsL of lLs
greaL men Lhey had sLlll leL hlm roL Lhere 1haL we had llved Lo see hls dusL ln honored sepulLure ln
Lhe church of SanLa Croce we owed Lo a socleLy of llLeraLl and noL Lo llorence or her rulers We saw
uanLes Lomb ln LhaL church also buL we were glad Lo know LhaL hls body was noL ln lL LhaL Lhe
ungraLeful clLy LhaL had exlled hlm and persecuLed hlm would glve much Lo have lL Lhere buL need
noL hope Lo ever secure LhaL hlgh honor Lo herself Medlcls are good enough for llorence LeL her
planL Medlcls and bulld grand monumenLs over Lhem Lo LesLlfy how graLefully she was wonL Lo llck
Lhe hand LhaL scourged her


Magnanlmous llorence! Per [ewelry marLs are fllled wlLh arLlsLs ln mosalc llorenLlne mosalcs are
Lhe cholcesL ln all Lhe world llorence loves Lo have LhaL sald llorence ls


246


proud of lL llorence would fosLer Lhls speclalLy of hers She ls graLeful Lo Lhe arLlsLs LhaL brlng Lo her
Lhls hlgh credlL and flll her coffers wlLh forelgn money and so she encourages Lhem wlLh penslons
WlLh penslons! 1hlnk of Lhe lavlshness of lL She knows LhaL people who plece LogeLher Lhe beauLlful
Lrlfles dle early because Lhe labor ls so conflnlng and so exhausLlng Lo hand and braln and so she
has decreed LhaL all Lhese people who reach Lhe age of slxLy shall have a penslon afLer LhaL! l have
noL heard LhaL any of Lhem have called for Lhelr dlvldends yeL Cne man dld flghL along Llll he was
slxLy and sLarLed afLer hls penslon buL lL appeared LhaL Lhere had been a mlsLake of a year ln hls
famlly record and so he gave lL up and dled

1hese arLlsLs wlll Lake parLlcles of sLone or glass no larger Lhan a musLard seed and plece Lhem
LogeLher on a sleeve buLLon or a shlrL sLud so smooLhly and wlLh such nlce ad[usLmenL of Lhe
dellcaLe shades of color Lhe pleces bear as Lo form a plgmy rose wlLh sLem Lhorn leaves peLals
compleLe and all as sofLly and as LruLhfully LlnLed as Lhough naLure had bullded lL herself 1hey wlll
counLerfelL a fly or a hlghLoned bug or Lhe rulned Collseum wlLhln Lhe cramped clrcle of a
breasLpln and do lL so defLly and so neaLly LhaL any man mlghL Lhlnk a masLer palnLed lL

l saw a llLLle Lable ln Lhe greaL mosalc school ln llorence a llLLle Lrlfle of a cenLre Lable whose
Lop was made of some sorL of preclous pollshed sLone and ln Lhe sLone was lnlald Lhe


247


flgure of a fluLe wlLh bellmouLh and a mazy compllcaLlon of keys no palnLlng ln Lhe world could
have been sofLer or rlcher no shadlng ouL of one LlnL lnLo anoLher could have been more perfecL no
work of arL of any klnd could have been more faulLless Lhan Lhls fluLe and yeL Lo counL Lhe mulLlLude
of llLLle fragmenLs of sLone of whlch Lhey swore lL was formed would bankrupL any mans arlLhmeLlc!
l do noL Lhlnk one could have seen where Lwo parLlcles [olned each oLher wlLh eyes of ordlnary
shrewdness CerLalnly we could deLecL no such blemlsh 1hls LableLop cosL Lhe labor of one man for
Len long years so Lhey sald and lL was for sale for LhlrLyflve Lhousand dollars


We wenL Lo Lhe Church of SanLa Croce from Llme Lo Llme ln llorence Lo weep over Lhe Lombs of
Mlchael Angelo 8aphael and Machlavelll (l suppose Lhey are burled Lhere buL lL may be LhaL Lhey
reslde elsewhere and renL Lhelr Lombs Lo oLher parLles such belng Lhe fashlon ln lLaly) and
beLween Llmes we used Lo go and sLand on Lhe brldges and admlre Lhe Arno lL ls popular Lo admlre
Lhe Arno lL ls a greaL hlsLorlcal creek wlLh four feeL ln Lhe channel and some scows floaLlng around
lL would be a very plauslble rlver lf Lhey would pump some waLer lnLo lL 1hey all call lL a rlver and
Lhey honesLly Lhlnk lL ls a rlver do Lhese dark and bloody llorenLlnes 1hey even help ouL Lhe
deluslon by bulldlng brldges over lL l do noL see why Lhey are Loo good Lo wade

Pow Lhe faLlgues and annoyances of Lravel flll one wlLh blLLer pre[udlces someLlmes! l mlghL enLer
llorence under happler ausplces a monLh hence and flnd lL all beauLlful all aLLracLlve 8uL l do noL
care Lo Lhlnk of lL now aL all nor of lLs roomy shops fllled Lo Lhe celllng wlLh snowy marble and
alabasLer coples of all Lhe celebraLed sculpLures ln Lurope coples so enchanLlng Lo Lhe eye LhaL l
wonder how Lhey can really be shaped llke Lhe dlngy peLrlfled nlghLmares Lhey are Lhe porLralLs of l
goL losL ln llorence aL nlne oclock one nlghL and sLald losL ln LhaL labyrlnLh of narrow sLreeLs and
long rows of vasL bulldlngs LhaL look all allke unLll Loward


248


Lhree oclock ln Lhe mornlng lL was a pleasanL nlghL and aL flrsL Lhere were a good many people
abroad and Lhere were cheerful llghLs abouL LaLer l grew accusLomed Lo prowllng abouL
mysLerlous drlfLs and Lunnels and asLonlshlng and lnLeresLlng myself wlLh comlng around corners
expecLlng Lo flnd Lhe hoLel sLarlng me ln Lhe face and noL flndlng lL dolng any Lhlng of Lhe klnd LaLer
sLlll l felL Llred l soon felL remarkably Llred 8uL Lhere was no one abroad now noL even a
pollceman l walked Llll l was ouL of all paLlence and very hoL and LhlrsLy AL lasL somewhere afLer
one oclock l came unexpecLedly Lo one of Lhe clLy gaLes l knew Lhen LhaL l was very far from Lhe
hoLel 1he soldlers LhoughL l wanLed Lo leave Lhe clLy and Lhey sprang up and barred Lhe way wlLh
Lhelr muskeLs l sald

PoLel dLurope!

lL was all Lhe lLallan l knew and l was noL cerLaln wheLher LhaL was lLallan or lrench 1he soldlers
looked sLupldly aL


249


each oLher and aL me and shook Lhelr heads and Look me lnLo cusLody l sald l wanLed Lo go home
1hey dld noL undersLand me 1hey Look me lnLo Lhe guardhouse and searched me buL Lhey found
no sedlLlon on me 1hey found a small plece of soap (we carry soap wlLh us now) and l made Lhem
a presenL of lL seelng LhaL Lhey regarded lL as a curloslLy l conLlnued Lo say PoLel dLurope and Lhey
conLlnued Lo shake Lhelr heads unLll aL lasL a young soldler noddlng ln Lhe corner roused up and sald
someLhlng Pe sald he knew where Lhe hoLel was l suppose for Lhe offlcer of Lhe guard senL hlm
away wlLh me We walked a hundred or a hundred and flfLy mlles lL appeared Lo me and Lhen he
goL losL Pe Lurned Lhls way and LhaL and flnally gave lL up and slgnlfled LhaL he was golng Lo spend
Lhe remalnder of Lhe mornlng Lrylng Lo flnd Lhe clLy gaLe agaln AL LhaL momenL lL sLruck me LhaL
Lhere was someLhlng famlllar abouL Lhe house over Lhe way lL was Lhe hoLel!


lL was a happy Lhlng for me LhaL Lhere happened Lo be a soldler Lhere LhaL knew even as much as
he dld for Lhey say LhaL Lhe pollcy of Lhe governmenL ls Lo change Lhe soldlery from one place Lo
anoLher consLanLly and from counLry Lo clLy so LhaL Lhey can noL become acqualnLed wlLh Lhe
people and grow lax ln Lhelr duLles and enLer lnLo ploLs and consplracles wlLh frlends My
experlences of llorence were chlefly unpleasanL l wlll change Lhe sub[ecL

AL lsa we cllmbed up Lo Lhe Lop of Lhe sLrangesL sLrucLure Lhe world has any knowledge of Lhe
Leanlng 1ower As every one knows lL ls ln Lhe nelghborhood of one hundred and elghLy feeL hlgh
and l beg Lo observe LhaL one hundred and elghLy feeL reach Lo abouL Lhe hlghL of four ordlnary
LhreesLory bulldlngs plled one on Lop of Lhe oLher and ls a very conslderable alLlLude for a Lower of
unlform Lhlckness Lo asplre Lo even when lL sLands uprlghL yeL Lhls one leans more Lhan LhlrLeen
feeL ouL of Lhe perpendlcular lL ls seven hundred years old buL nelLher hlsLory or LradlLlon say
wheLher lL was bullL as lL ls purposely or wheLher one of lLs sldes has seLLled 1here ls no record
LhaL lL ever sLood sLralghL up lL ls bullL


230


of marble lL ls an alry and a beauLlful sLrucLure and each of lLs elghL sLorles ls enclrcled by fluLed
columns some of marble and some of granlLe wlLh CorlnLhlan caplLals LhaL were handsome when
Lhey were new lL ls a bell Lower and ln lLs Lop hangs a chlme of anclenL bells 1he wlndlng sLalrcase
wlLhln ls dark buL one always knows whlch slde of Lhe Lower he ls on because of hls naLurally
gravlLaLlng from one slde Lo Lhe oLher of Lhe sLalrcase wlLh Lhe rlse or dlp of Lhe Lower Some of Lhe
sLone sLeps are fooLworn only on one end oLhers only on Lhe oLher end oLhers only ln Lhe mlddle
1o look down lnLo Lhe Lower from Lhe Lop ls llke looklng down lnLo a LllLed well A rope LhaL hangs
from Lhe cenLre


231


of Lhe Lop Louches Lhe wall before lL reaches Lhe boLLom SLandlng on Lhe summlL one does noL feel
alLogeLher comforLable when he looks down from Lhe hlgh slde buL Lo crawl on your breasL Lo Lhe
verge on Lhe lower slde and Lry Lo sLreLch your neck ouL far enough Lo see Lhe base of Lhe Lower
makes your flesh creep and convlnces you for a slngle momenL ln splLe of all your phllosophy LhaL
Lhe bulldlng ls falllng ?ou handle yourself very carefully all Lhe Llme under Lhe sllly lmpresslon LhaL
lf lL ls noL falllng your Lrlfllng welghL wlll sLarL lL unless you are parLlcular noL Lo bear down on lL


1he uuomo close aL hand ls one of Lhe flnesL caLhedrals ln Lurope lL ls elghL hundred years old
lLs grandeur has ouLllved Lhe hlgh commerclal prosperlLy and Lhe pollLlcal lmporLance LhaL made lL a
necesslLy or raLher a posslblllLy Surrounded by poverLy decay and ruln lL conveys Lo us a more
Langlble lmpresslon of Lhe former greaLness of lsa Lhan books could glve us

1he 8apLlsLery whlch ls a few years older Lhan Lhe Leanlng 1ower ls a sLaLely roLunda of huge
dlmenslons and was a cosLly sLrucLure ln lL hangs Lhe lamp whose measured swlng suggesLed Lo
Callleo Lhe pendulum lL looked an lnslgnlflcanL Lhlng Lo have conferred upon Lhe world of sclence
and mechanlcs such a mlghLy exLenslon of Lhelr domlnlons as lL has onderlng ln lLs suggesLlve
presence l seemed Lo see a crazy unlverse of swlnglng dlsks Lhe Lolllng chlldren of Lhls sedaLe
parenL Pe appeared Lo have an lnLelllgenL expresslon abouL hlm of knowlng LhaL he was noL a lamp
aL all LhaL he was a endulum a pendulum dlsgulsed for prodlglous and lnscruLable purposes of hls
own deep devlslng and noL a common pendulum elLher buL Lhe old orlglnal paLrlarchal endulum
Lhe Abraham endulum of Lhe world

1hls 8apLlsLery ls endowed wlLh Lhe mosL pleaslng echo of all Lhe echoes we have read of 1he
gulde sounded Lwo sonorous noLes abouL half an ocLave aparL Lhe echo answered wlLh Lhe mosL
enchanLlng Lhe mosL melodlous Lhe rlchesL blendlng of sweeL sounds LhaL one can lmaglne lL was
llke a longdrawn chord of a church organ lnflnlLely sofLened by


232


dlsLance l may be exLravaganL ln Lhls maLLer buL lf Lhls be Lhe case my ear ls Lo blame noL my
pen l am descrlblng a memory and one LhaL wlll remaln long wlLh me

1he pecullar devoLlonal splrlL of Lhe olden Llme whlch placed a hlgher confldence ln ouLward
forms of worshlp Lhan ln Lhe waLchful guardlng of Lhe hearL agalnsL slnful LhoughLs and Lhe hands
agalnsL slnful deeds and whlch belleved ln Lhe proLecLlng vlrLues of lnanlmaLe ob[ecLs made holy by
conLacL wlLh holy Lhlngs ls lllusLraLed ln a sLrlklng manner ln one of Lhe cemeLerles of lsa 1he
Lombs are seL ln soll broughL ln shlps from Lhe Poly Land ages ago 1o be burled ln such ground was
regarded b y Lhe anclenL lsans as belng more poLenL for salvaLlon Lhan many masses purchased of
Lhe church and Lhe vowlng of many candles Lo Lhe vlrgln

lsa ls belleved Lo be abouL Lhree Lhousand years old lL was one of Lhe Lwelve greaL clLles of
anclenL LLrurla LhaL commonwealLh whlch has lefL so many monumenLs ln LesLlmony of lLs
exLraordlnary advancemenL and so llLLle hlsLory of lLself LhaL ls Langlble and comprehenslble A
lsan anLlquarlan gave me an anclenL Lear[ug whlch he averred was full four Lhousand years old lL
was found among Lhe rulns of one of Lhe oldesL of Lhe LLruscan clLles Pe sald lL came from a Lomb
and was used by some bereaved famlly ln LhaL remoLe age when even Lhe yramlds of LgypL were
young uamascus a vlllage Abraham a praLLllng lnfanL and anclenL 1roy noL yeL dreampL of Lo
recelve Lhe Lears wepL for some losL ldol of a household lL spoke Lo us ln a language of lLs own and
wlLh a paLhos more Lender Lhan any words mlghL brlng lLs muLe eloquence swepL down Lhe long roll
of Lhe cenLurles wlLh lLs Lale of a vacanL chalr a famlllar fooLsLep mlssed from Lhe Lhreshold a
pleasanL volce gone from Lhe chorus a vanlshed form! a Lale whlch ls always so new Lo us so
sLarLllng so Lerrlble so benumblng Lo Lhe senses and behold how Lhreadbare and old lL ls! no
shrewdlyworded hlsLory could have broughL Lhe myLhs and shadows of LhaL old dreamy age before
us cloLhed wlLh human flesh and warmed wlLh human sympaLhles so vlvldly as dld Lhls poor llLLle
unsenLlenL vessel of poLLery


233




lsa was a republlc ln Lhe mlddle ages wlLh a governmenL of her own armles and navles of her
own and a greaL commerce She was a warllke power and lnscrlbed upon her banners many a
brllllanL flghL wlLh Cenoese and 1urks lL ls sald LhaL Lhe clLy once numbered a populaLlon of four
hundred Lhousand buL her scepLre has passed from her grasp now her shlps and her armles are
gone her commerce ls dead Per baLLleflags bear Lhe mold and Lhe dusL of cenLurles her marLs are
deserLed she has shrunk en far wlLhln her crumbllng walls and her greaL populaLlon has dlmlnlshed
Lo LwenLy Lhousand souls She has buL one Lhlng lefL Lo boasL of and LhaL ls noL much vlz she ls Lhe
second clLy of 1uscany

We reached Leghorn ln Llme Lo see all we wlshed Lo see of lL long before Lhe clLy gaLes were closed
for Lhe evenlng and Lhen came on board Lhe shlp

We felL as Lhough we had been away from home an age We never enLlrely appreclaLed before
whaL a very pleasanL den our sLaLeroom ls nor how [olly lL ls Lo slL aL dlnner ln ones own seaL ln
ones own cabln and hold famlllar conversaLlon wlLh frlends ln ones own language Ch Lhe rare
happlness of comprehendlng every slngle word LhaL ls sald and knowlng LhaL every word one says ln
reLurn wlll be undersLood as well! We would Lalk ourselves Lo deaLh now only Lhere are only abouL
Len passengers ouL of Lhe slxLyflve Lo Lalk Lo 1he oLhers are wanderlng we hardly know where We
shall noL go ashore ln Leghorn We are surfelLed wlLh lLallan clLles for Lhe presenL and much prefer
Lo walk Lhe famlllar quarLerdeck and vlew Lhls one from a dlsLance

1he sLupld magnaLes of Lhls Leghorn governmenL can noL undersLand LhaL so large a sLeamer as
ours could cross Lhe broad ALlanLlc wlLh no oLher purpose Lhan Lo lndulge a parLy of ladles and
genLlemen ln a pleasure excurslon lL looks Loo lmprobable lL ls susplclous Lhey Lhlnk SomeLhlng
more lmporLanL musL be hldden behlnd lL all 1hey can noL undersLand lL and Lhey scorn Lhe
evldence of Lhe shlps papers 1hey have declded aL lasL LhaL we are a baLLallon of lncendlary


234


bloodLhlrsLy Carlbaldlans ln dlsgulse! And ln all serlousness Lhey have seL a gunboaL Lo waLch Lhe
vessel nlghL and day wlLh orders Lo close down on any revoluLlonary movemenL ln a Lwlnkllng!
ollce boaLs are on paLrol duLy abouL us all Lhe Llme and lL ls as much as a sallors llberLy ls worLh Lo
show hlmself ln a red shlrL 1hese pollcemen follow Lhe execuLlve offlcers boaL from shore Lo shlp
and from shlp Lo shore and waLch hls dark maneuvres wlLh a vlgllanL eye 1hey wlll arresL hlm yeL
unless he assumes an expresslon of counLenance LhaL shall have less of carnage lnsurrecLlon and
sedlLlon ln lL A vlslL pald ln a frlendly way Lo Ceneral Carlbaldl yesLerday (by cordlal lnvlLaLlon) by
some of our passengers has gone far Lo conflrm Lhe dread susplclons Lhe governmenL harbors
Loward us lL ls LhoughL Lhe frlendly vlslL was only Lhe cloak of a bloody consplracy 1hese people
draw near and waLch us when we baLhe ln Lhe sea from Lhe shlps slde uo Lhey Lhlnk we are
communlng wlLh a reserve force of rascals aL Lhe boLLom?

lL ls sald LhaL we shall probably be quaranLlned aL naples 1wo or Lhree of us prefer noL Lo run Lhls
rlsk 1herefore when we are resLed we propose Lo go ln a lrench sLeamer Lo ClvlLa and from Lhence
Lo 8ome and by rall Lo naples 1hey do noL quaranLlne Lhe cars no maLLer where Lhey goL Lhelr
passengers from
ChapLer 23
CPA1L8 xxv



233



1PL8L are a good many Lhlngs abouL Lhls lLaly whlch l do noL undersLand and more especlally l
can noL undersLand how a bankrupL CovernmenL can have such palaLlal rallroad depoLs and such
marvels of Lurnplkes Why Lhese laLLer are as hard as adamanL as sLralghL as a llne as smooLh as a
floor and as whlLe as snow When lL ls Loo dark Lo see any oLher ob[ecL one can sLlll see Lhe whlLe
Lurnplkes of lrance and lLaly and Lhey are clean enough Lo eaL from wlLhouL a LablecloLh And yeL
no Lolls are charged

As for Lhe rallways we have none llke Lhem 1he cars sllde as smooLhly along as lf Lhey were on
runners 1he depoLs are vasL palaces of cuL marble wlLh sLaLely colonnades of Lhe same royal sLone
Lraverslng Lhem from end Lo end and wlLh ample walls and celllngs rlchly decoraLed wlLh frescoes
1he lofLy gaLeways are graced wlLh sLaLues and Lhe broad floors are all lald ln pollshed flags of
marble

1hese Lhlngs wln me more Lhan lLalys hundred gallerles of prlceless arL Lreasures because l can
undersLand Lhe one and am noL compeLenL Lo appreclaLe Lhe oLher ln Lhe Lurnplkes Lhe rallways
Lhe depoLs and Lhe new boulevards of unlform houses ln llorence and oLher clLles here l see Lhe
genlus of Louls napoleon or raLher l see Lhe works of LhaL sLaLesman lmlLaLed 8uL Louls has Laken
care LhaL ln lrance Lhere shall be a foundaLlon for Lhese lmprovemenLs money Pe has always Lhe
wherewlLhal Lo back up hls pro[ecLs Lhey sLrengLhen lrance and never weaken her Per maLerlal
prosperlLy ls genulne 8uL here Lhe case ls dlfferenL 1hls counLry ls


236


bankrupL 1here ls no real foundaLlon for Lhese greaL works 1he prosperlLy Lhey would seem Lo
lndlcaLe ls a preLence 1here ls no money ln Lhe Lreasury and so Lhey enfeeble her lnsLead of
sLrengLhenlng lLaly has achleved Lhe dearesL wlsh of her hearL and become an lndependenL SLaLe
and ln so dolng she has drawn an elephanL ln Lhe pollLlcal loLLery She has noLhlng Lo feed lL on
lnexperlenced ln governmenL she plunged lnLo all manner of useless expendlLure and swamped her
Lreasury almosL ln a day She squandered mllllons of francs on a navy whlch she dld noL need and
Lhe flrsL Llme she Look her new Loy lnLo acLlon she goL lL knocked hlgher Lhan Cllderoys klLe Lo use
Lhe language of Lhe llgrlms


8uL lL ls an lllwlnd LhaL blows nobody good A year ago when lLaly saw uLLer ruln sLarlng her ln Lhe
face and her greenbacks hardly worLh Lhe paper Lhey were prlnLed on her arllamenL venLured
upon a coup de maln LhaL would have appalled Lhe sLouLesL of her sLaLesmen under less desperaLe
clrcumsLances 1hey ln a manner conflscaLed Lhe domalns of Lhe Church! 1hls ln prlesLrldden lLaly!
1hls ln a land whlch has groped ln Lhe mldnlghL of prlesLly supersLlLlon for slxLeen hundred years! lL
was a rare good forLune for lLaly Lhe sLress of weaLher LhaL drove her Lo break from Lhls prlson
house

1hey do noL call lL conflscaLlng Lhe church properLy 1haL would sound Loo harshly yeL 8uL lL
amounLs Lo LhaL 1here are Lhousands of churches ln lLaly each wlLh unLold mllllons of Lreasures
sLored away ln lLs closeLs and each wlLh lLs baLLallon of prlesLs Lo be supporLed And Lhen Lhere are
Lhe esLaLes of Lhe Church league on league of Lhe rlchesL lands and Lhe noblesL foresLs ln all lLaly
all yleldlng lmmense revenues Lo Lhe Church and none paylng a cenL ln Laxes Lo Lhe SLaLe ln some
greaL dlsLrlcLs Lhe Church owns all Lhe properLy lands waLercourses woods mllls and facLorles
1hey buy Lhey sell Lhey manufacLure and slnce Lhey pay no Laxes who can hope Lo compeLe wlLh
Lhem?

Well Lhe CovernmenL has selzed all Lhls ln effecL and wlll yeL selze lL ln rlgld and unpoeLlcal
reallLy no doubL SomeLhlng


237


musL be done Lo feed a sLarvlng Lreasury and Lhere ls no oLher resource ln all lLaly none buL Lhe
rlches of Lhe Church So Lhe CovernmenL lnLends Lo Lake Lo lLself a greaL porLlon of Lhe revenues
arlslng from prlesLly farms facLorles eLc and also lnLends Lo Lake possesslon of Lhe churches and
carry Lhem on afLer lLs own fashlon and upon lLs own responslblllLy ln a few lnsLances lL wlll leave
Lhe esLabllshmenLs of greaL peL churches undlsLurbed buL ln all oLhers only a handful of prlesLs wlll
be reLalned Lo preach and pray a few wlll be pensloned and Lhe balance Lurned adrlfL

ray glance aL some of Lhese churches and Lhelr embelllshmenLs and see wheLher Lhe
CovernmenL ls dolng a rlghLeous Lhlng or noL ln venlce Loday a clLy of a hundred Lhousand
lnhablLanLs Lhere are Lwelve hundred prlesLs Peaven only knows how many Lhere were before Lhe
arllamenL reduced Lhelr numbers 1here was Lhe greaL !esulL Church under Lhe old reglme lL
requlred slxLy prlesLs Lo englneer lL Lhe CovernmenL does lL wlLh flve now and Lhe oLhers are
dlscharged from servlce All abouL LhaL church wreLchedness and poverLy abound AL lLs door a
dozen haLs and bonneLs were doffed Lo us as many heads were humbly bowed and as many hands
exLended appeallng for pennles appeallng wlLh forelgn words we could noL undersLand buL
appeallng muLely wlLh sad eyes and sunken cheeks and ragged ralmenL LhaL no words were
needed Lo LranslaLe 1hen we passed wlLhln Lhe greaL doors and lL seemed LhaL Lhe rlches of Lhe
world were before us! Puge columns carved ouL of slngle masses of marble and lnlald from Lop Lo
boLLom wlLh a hundred lnLrlcaLe flgures wroughL ln cosLly verde anLlque pulplLs of Lhe same rlch
maLerlals whose draperles hung down ln many a plcLured fold Lhe sLony fabrlc counLerfelLlng Lhe
dellcaLe work of Lhe loom Lhe grand alLar brllllanL wlLh pollshed faclngs and balusLrades of orlenLal
agaLe [asper verde anLlque and oLher preclous sLones whose names even we seldom hear and
slabs of prlceless lapls lazull lavlshed every where as recklessly as lf Lhe church had owned a quarry
of lL ln Lhe mldsL of all Lhls magnlflcence Lhe solld gold and sllver furnlLure of Lhe alLar


238


seemed cheap and Lrlvlal Lven Lhe floors and celllngs cosL a prlncely forLune


now where ls Lhe use of allowlng all Lhose rlches Lo lle ldle whlle half of LhaL communlLy hardly
know from day Lo day how Lhey are golng Lo keep body and soul LogeLher? And where ls Lhe
wlsdom ln permlLLlng hundreds upon hundreds of mllllons of francs Lo be locked up ln Lhe useless
Lrumpery of churches all over lLaly and Lhe people ground Lo deaLh wlLh LaxaLlon Lo uphold a
perlshlng CovernmenL?

As far as l can see lLaly for flfLeen hundred years has Lurned all her energles all her flnances and
all her lndusLry Lo Lhe bulldlng up of a vasL array of wonderful church edlflces and sLarvlng half her
clLlzens Lo accompllsh lL She ls Loday one vasL museum of magnlflcence and mlsery All Lhe
churches ln an ordlnary Amerlcan clLy puL LogeLher could hardly buy Lhe [eweled frlppery ln one of
her hundred caLhedrals And for every beggar ln Amerlca lLaly can show a hundred and rags and
vermln Lo maLch lL ls Lhe wreLchedesL prlncellesL land on earLh

Look aL Lhe grand uuomo of llorence a vasL plle LhaL has


239


been sapplng Lhe purses of her clLlzens for flve hundred years and ls noL nearly flnlshed yeL Llke all
oLher men l fell down and worshlpped lL buL when Lhe fllLhy beggars swarmed around me Lhe
conLrasL was Loo sLrlklng Loo suggesLlve and l sald C sons of classlc lLaly ls Lhe splrlL of
enLerprlse of selfrellance of noble endeavor uLLerly dead wlLhln ye? Curse your lndolenL
worLhlessness why donL you rob your church?


1hree hundred happy comforLable prlesLs are employed ln LhaL CaLhedral

And now LhaL my Lemper ls up l may as well go on and abuse every body l can Lhlnk of 1hey have
a grand mausoleum ln llorence whlch Lhey bullL Lo bury our Lord and Savlour and Lhe Medlcl famlly
ln lL sounds blasphemous buL lL ls Lrue and here Lhey acL blasphemy 1he dead and damned
Medlcls who cruelly Lyrannlzed over llorence and were her curse for over Lwo hundred years are
salLed away ln a clrcle of cosLly vaulLs and ln Lhelr mldsL Lhe Poly Sepulchre was Lo have been seL
up 1he expedlLlon senL Lo !erusalem Lo selze lL goL lnLo Lrouble and could noL accompllsh Lhe
burglary and so Lhe cenLre of Lhe mausoleum ls vacanL now 1hey say Lhe enLlre mausoleum was
lnLended for Lhe Poly Sepulchre and was only Lurned lnLo a famlly burylng place afLer Lhe !erusalem
expedlLlon falled buL you wlll excuse me Some of Lhose Medlcls would have smuggled Lhemselves
ln sure WhaL Lhey had noL Lhe effronLery Lo do was noL worLh dolng Why Lhey had Lhelr Lrlvlal
forgoLLen explolLs on land and sea plcLured ouL ln grand frescoes (as dld also Lhe anclenL uoges of
venlce) wlLh Lhe Savlour and Lhe vlrgln Lhrowlng bouqueLs Lo Lhem ouL of Lhe clouds and Lhe uelLy
hlmself applaudlng from hls Lhrone ln Peaven! And who palnLed Lhese Lhlngs? Why 1lLlan
1lnLoreLLo aul veronese 8aphael none oLher Lhan Lhe worlds ldols Lhe old masLers

Andrea del SarLo glorlfled hls prlnces ln plcLures LhaL musL save Lhem for ever from Lhe obllvlon
Lhey merlLed and Lhey leL hlm sLarve Served hlm rlghL 8aphael plcLured such lnfernal vlllalns as
CaLherlne and Marle de Medlcls seaLed ln heaven and


260


converslng famlllarly wlLh Lhe vlrgln Mary and Lhe angels (Lo say noLhlng of hlgher personages) and
yeL my frlends abuse me because l am a llLLle pre[udlced agalnsL Lhe old masLers because l fall
someLlmes Lo see Lhe beauLy LhaL ls ln Lhelr producLlons l can noL help buL see lL now and Lhen buL
l keep on proLesLlng agalnsL Lhe grovellng splrlL LhaL could persuade Lhose masLers Lo prosLlLuLe Lhelr
noble LalenLs Lo Lhe adulaLlon of such monsLers as Lhe lrench veneLlan and llorenLlne rlnces of
Lwo an d Lhree hundred years ago all Lhe same

l am Lold LhaL Lhe old masLers had Lo do Lhese shameful Lhlngs for bread Lhe prlnces and
poLenLaLes belng Lhe only paLrons of arL lf a grandly glfLed man may drag hls prlde and hls manhood
ln Lhe dlrL for bread raLher Lhan sLarve wlLh Lhe noblllLy LhaL ls ln hlm unLalnLed Lhe excuse ls a valld
one lL would excuse LhefL ln WashlngLons and WelllngLons and unchasLlLy ln women as well

8uL somehow l can noL keep LhaL Medlcl mausoleum ouL of my memory lL ls as large as a church
lLs pavemenL ls rlch enough for Lhe pavemenL of a klngs palace lLs greaL dome ls gorgeous wlLh
frescoes lLs walls are made of whaL? Marble? plasLer? wood? paper? no 8ed porphyry
verde anLlque [asper orlenLal agaLe alabasLer moLherofpearl chalcedony red coral
lapls lazull! All Lhe vasL walls are made wholly of Lhese preclous sLones worked ln and ln and ln
LogeLher ln elaboraLe paLLern s and flgures and pollshed Llll Lhey glow llke greaL mlrrors wlLh Lhe
plcLured splendors reflecLed from Lhe dome overhead And before a sLaLue of one of Lhose dead
Medlcls reposes a crown LhaL blazes wlLh dlamonds and emeralds enough Lo buy a shlpofLhellne
almosL 1hese are Lhe Lhlngs Lhe CovernmenL has lLs evll eye upon and a happy Lhlng lL wlll be for
lLaly when Lhey melL away ln Lhe publlc Lreasury

And now Powever anoLher beggar approaches l wlll go ouL and desLroy hlm and Lhen come
back and wrlLe anoLher chapLer of vlLuperaLlon

Pavlng eaLen Lhe frlendless orphan havlng drlven away hls


261


comrades havlng grown calm and reflecLlve aL lengLh l now feel ln a klndller mood l feel LhaL
afLer Lalklng so freely abouL Lhe prlesLs and Lhe churches [usLlce demands LhaL lf l know any Lhlng
good abouL elLher l oughL Lo say lL l have heard of many Lhlngs LhaL redound Lo Lhe credlL of Lhe
prlesLhood buL Lhe mosL noLable maLLer LhaL occurs Lo me now ls Lhe devoLlon one of Lhe
mendlcanL orders showed durlng Lhe prevalence of Lhe cholera lasL year l speak of Lhe uomlnlcan
frlars men who wear a coarse heavy brown robe and a cowl ln Lhls hoL cllmaLe and go barefooL
1hey llve on alms alLogeLher l belleve 1hey musL unquesLlonably love Lhelr rellglon Lo suffer so
much for lL When Lhe cholera was raglng ln naples when Lhe people were dylng by hundreds and
hundreds every day when every concern for Lhe publlc welfare was swallowed up ln selflsh prlvaLe
lnLeresL and every clLlzen made Lhe Laklng care of hlmself hls sole ob[ecL Lhese men banded
Lhemselves LogeLher and wenL abouL nurslng Lhe slck and burylng Lhe dead 1helr noble efforLs cosL
many of Lhem Lhelr llves 1hey lald Lhem down cheerfully and well Lhey mlghL Creeds
maLhemaLlcally preclse and halrspllLLlng nlceLles of docLrlne are absoluLely necessary for Lhe
salvaLlon of some klnds of souls buL surely Lhe charlLy Lhe purlLy Lhe unselflshness LhaL are ln Lhe
hearLs of men llke Lhese would save Lhelr souls Lhough Lhey were bankrupL ln Lhe Lrue rellglon
whlch ls ours


Cne of Lhese faL barefooLed rascals came here Lo ClvlLa vecchla wlLh us ln Lhe llLLle lrench
sLeamer 1here were only half a dozen of us ln Lhe cabln Pe belonged ln Lhe sLeerage Pe was Lhe
llfe of Lhe shlp Lhe bloodymlnded son of Lhe lnqulslLlon! Pe and Lhe leader of Lhe marlne band of a
lrench manofwar played on Lhe plano and sang opera Lurn abouL Lhey sang dueLs LogeLher Lhey
rlgged lmprompLu LheaLrlcal cosLumes and gave us exLravaganL farces and panLomlmes We goL
along flrsLraLe wlLh Lhe frlar and were excesslvely conversaLlonal albelL he could noL undersLand
whaL we sald and cerLalnly he never uLLered a word LhaL we could guess Lhe meanlng of



262



1hls ClvlLa vecchla ls Lhe flnesL nesL of dlrL vermln and lgnorance we have found yeL excepL LhaL
Afrlcan perdlLlon Lhey call 1angler whlch ls [usL llke lL 1he people here llve ln alleys Lwo yards wlde
whlch have a smell abouL Lhem whlch ls pecullar buL noL enLerLalnlng lL ls well Lhe alleys are noL
wlder because Lhey hold as much smell now as a person can sLand and of course lf Lhey were wlder
Lhey would hold more and Lhen Lhe people would dle 1hese alleys are paved wlLh sLone and
carpeLed wlLh deceased caLs and decayed rags and decomposed vegeLableLops and remnanLs of
old booLs all soaked wlLh dlshwaLer and Lhe people slL around on sLools and en[oy lL 1hey are
lndolenL as a general Lhlng and yeL have few pasLlmes 1hey work Lwo or Lhree hours aL a Llme buL
noL hard and Lhen Lhey knock off and caLch flles 1hls does noL requlre any LalenL because Lhey only
have Lo grab lf Lhey do noL geL Lhe one Lhey are afLer Lhey geL anoLher lL ls all Lhe same Lo Lhem
1hey have no parLlallLles Whlchever one Lhey geL ls Lhe one Lhey wanL

1hey have oLher klnds of lnsecLs buL lL does noL make Lhem arroganL 1hey are very quleL
unpreLendlng people 1hey have more of Lhese klnd of Lhlngs Lhan oLher communlLles buL Lhey do
noL boasL

1hey are very uncleanly Lhese people ln face ln person and dress When Lhey see any body
wlLh a clean shlrL on lL arouses Lhelr scorn 1he women wash cloLhes half Lhe day aL Lhe publlc
Lanks ln Lhe sLreeLs buL Lhey are probably somebody elses Cr may be Lhey keep one seL Lo wear
and anoLher Lo wash because Lhey never puL on any LhaL have ever been washed When Lhey geL
done washlng Lhey slL ln Lhe alleys and nurse Lhelr cubs 1hey nurse one ashcaL aL a Llme and Lhe
oLhers scraLch Lhelr backs agalnsL Lhe doorposL and are happy

All Lhls counLry belongs Lo Lhe apal SLaLes 1hey do noL appear Lo have any schools here and only
one bllllard Lable 1helr educaLlon ls aL a very low sLage Cne porLlon of Lhe men go lnLo Lhe mlllLary
anoLher lnLo Lhe prlesLhood and Lhe resL lnLo Lhe shoemaklng buslness



263



1hey keep up Lhe passporL sysLem here buL so Lhey do ln 1urkey 1hls shows LhaL Lhe apal SLaLes
are as far advanced as 1urkey 1hls facL wlll be alone sufflclenL Lo sllence Lhe Longues of mallgnanL
calumnlaLors l had Lo geL my passporL vlsed for 8ome ln llorence and Lhen Lhey would noL leL me
come ashore here unLll a pollceman had examlned lL on Lhe wharf and senL me a permlL 1hey dld
noL even dare Lo leL me Lake my passporL ln my hands for Lwelve hours l looked so formldable 1hey
[udged lL besL Lo leL me cool down 1hey LhoughL l wanLed Lo Lake Lhe Lown llkely LlLLle dld Lhey
know me l wouldnL have lL 1hey examlned my baggage aL Lhe depoL 1hey Look one of my ablesL
[okes and read lL over carefully Lwlce and Lhen read lL backwards 8uL lL was Loo deep for Lhem 1hey
passed lL around and every body speculaLed on lL awhlle buL lL masLered Lhem all

lL was no common [oke AL lengLh a veLeran offlcer spelled lL over dellberaLely and shook hls head
Lhree or four Llmes and sald LhaL ln hls oplnlon lL was sedlLlous 1haL was Lhe flrsL Llme l felL alarmed
l lmmedlaLely sald l would explaln Lhe documenL and Lhey crowded around And so l explalned and


264


explalned and explalned and Lhey Look noLes of all l sald buL Lhe more l explalned Lhe more Lhey
could noL undersLand lL and when Lhey deslsLed aL lasL l could noL even undersLand lL myself 1hey
sald Lhey belleved lL was an lncendlary documenL leveled aL Lhe governmenL l declared solemnly
LhaL lL was noL buL Lhey only shook Lhelr heads and would noL be saLlsfled 1hen Lhey consulLed a
good whlle and flnally Lhey conflscaLed lL l was very sorry for Lhls because l had worked a long Llme
on LhaL [oke and Look a good deal of prlde ln lL and now l suppose l shall never see lL any more l
suppose lL wlll be senL up and flled away among Lhe crlmlnal archlves of 8ome and wlll always be
regarded as a mysLerlous lnfernal machlne whlch would have blown up llke a mlne and scaLLered Lhe
good ope all around buL for a mlraculous provldenLlal lnLerference And l suppose LhaL all Lhe Llme
l am ln 8ome Lhe pollce wlll dog me abouL from place Lo place because Lhey Lhlnk l am a dangerous
characLer




263



lL ls fearfully hoL ln ClvlLa vecchla 1he sLreeLs are made very narrow and Lhe houses bullL very solld
and heavy and hlgh as a proLecLlon agalnsL Lhe heaL 1hls ls Lhe flrsL lLallan Lown l have seen whlch
does noL appear Lo have a paLron salnL l suppose no salnL buL Lhe one LhaL wenL up ln Lhe charloL of
flre could sLand Lhe cllmaLe

1here ls noLhlng here Lo see 1hey have noL even a caLhedral wlLh eleven Lons of solld sllver
archblshops ln Lhe back room and Lhey do noL show you any moldy bulldlngs LhaL are seven
Lhousand years old nor any smokedrled old flrescreens whlch are chef doeuvres of 8eubens or
Slmpson or 1lLlan or lerguson or any of Lhose parLles and Lhey havenL any boLLled fragmenLs of
salnLs and noL even a nall from Lhe Lrue cross We are golng Lo 8ome 1here ls noLhlng Lo see here
ChapLer 26
CPA1L8 xxvl



266



WPA1 ls lL LhaL confers Lhe noblesL dellghL? WhaL ls LhaL whlch swells a mans breasL wlLh prlde
above LhaL whlch any oLher experlence can brlng Lo hlm? ulscovery! 1o know LhaL you are walklng
where none oLhers have walked LhaL you are beholdlng whaL human eye has noL seen before LhaL
you are breaLhlng a vlrgln aLmosphere 1o glve blrLh Lo an ldea Lo dlscover a greaL LhoughL an
lnLellecLual nuggeL rlghL under Lhe dusL of a fleld LhaL many a braln plow had gone over before 1o
flnd a new planeL Lo lnvenL a new hlnge Lo flnd Lhe way Lo make Lhe llghLnlngs carry your messages
1o be Lhe flrsL LhaL ls Lhe ldea 1o do someLhlng say someLhlng see someLhlng before any body
else Lhese are Lhe Lhlngs LhaL confer a pleasure compared wlLh whlch oLher pleasures are Lame
and commonplace oLher ecsLasles cheap and Lrlvlal Morse wlLh hls flrsL message broughL by hls
servanL Lhe llghLnlng lulLon ln LhaL longdrawn cenLury of suspense when he placed hls hand upon
Lhe LhroLLlevalve and lo Lhe sLeamboaL moved !enner when hls paLlenL wlLh Lhe cows vlrus ln hls
blood walked Lhrough Lhe smallpox hosplLals unscaLhed Powe when Lhe ldea shoL Lhrough hls
braln LhaL for a hundred and LwenLy generaLlons Lhe eye had been bored Lhrough Lhe wrong end of
Lhe needle Lhe nameless lord of arL who lald down hls chlsel ln some old age LhaL ls forgoLLen now
and gloaLed upon Lhe flnlshed Laocoon uaguerre when he commanded Lhe sun rldlng ln Lhe
zenlLh Lo prlnL Lhe landscape upon hls lnslgnlfl canL sllvered plaLe and


267


he obeyed Columbus ln Lhe lnLas shrouds when he swung hls haL above a fabled sea and gazed
abroad upon an unknown world! 1hese are Lhe men who have really llved who have acLually
comprehended whaL pleasure ls who have crowded long llfeLlmes of ecsLasy lnLo a slngle momenL


WhaL ls Lhere ln 8ome for me Lo see LhaL oLhers have noL seen before me? WhaL ls Lhere for me Lo
Louch LhaL oLhers have noL Louched? WhaL ls Lhere for me Lo feel Lo learn Lo hear Lo know LhaL
shall Lhrlll me before lL pass Lo oLhers? WhaL can l dlscover? noLhlng noLhlng whaLsoever Cne
charm of Lravel dles here 8uL lf l were only a 8oman! lf added Lo my own l could be glfLed wlLh
modern 8oman sloLh modern 8oman supersLlLlon and modern 8oman boundlessness of lgnorance
whaL bewllderlng worlds of unsuspecLed wonders l would dlscover! Ah lf l were only a hablLanL of
Lhe Campagna flve and LwenLy mlles from 8ome! 1hen l would Lravel

l would go Lo Amerlca and see and learn and reLurn Lo Lhe Campagna and sLand before my
counLrymen an lllusLrlous dlscoverer l would say

l saw Lhere a counLry whlch has no overshadowlng MoLher Church and yeL Lhe people survlve l
saw a governmenL whlch never was proLecLed by forelgn soldlers aL a cosL greaLer Lhan LhaL requlred
Lo carry on Lhe governmenL lLself l saw common men and common women who could read l even
saw small chlldren of common counLry people readlng from books lf l dared Lhlnk you would belleve
lL l would say Lhey could wrlLe also ln Lhe clLles l saw people drlnklng a dellclous beverage made of
chalk and waLer buL never once saw goaLs drlven Lhrough Lhelr 8roadway or Lhelr ennsylvanla
Avenue or Lhelr MonLgomery sLreeL and mllked aL Lhe doors of Lhe houses l saw


268


real glass wlndows ln Lhe houses of even Lhe commonesL people Some of Lhe houses are noL of
sLone nor yeL of brlcks l solemnly swear Lhey are made of wood Pouses Lhere wlll Lake flre and
burn someLlmes acLually burn enLlrely down and noL leave a slngle vesLlge behlnd l could sLaLe
LhaL for a LruLh upon my deaLhbed And as a proof LhaL Lhe clrcumsLance ls noL rare l aver LhaL
Lhey have a Lhlng whlch Lhey call a flreenglne whlch vomlLs forLh greaL sLreams of waLer and ls
kepL always ln readlness by nlghL and by day Lo rush Lo houses LhaL are burnlng ?ou would Lhlnk
one englne would be sufflclenL buL some greaL clLles have a hundred Lhey keep men hlred and pay
Lhem by Lhe monLh Lo do noLhlng buL puL ouL flres lor a cerLaln sum of money oLher men wlll lnsure
LhaL your house shall noL burn down and lf lL burns Lhey wlll pay you for lL 1here are hundreds and
Lhousands of schools and any body may go and learn Lo be wlse llke a prlesL ln LhaL slngular
counLry lf a rlch man dles a slnner he ls damned he can noL buy salvaLlon wlLh money for masses
1here ls really noL much use ln belng rlch Lhere noL much use as far as Lhe oLher world ls
concerned buL much very much use as concerns Lhls because Lhere lf a man be rlch he ls very
greaLly honored and can become a leglslaLor a governor a general a senaLor no maLLer how
lgnoranL an ass he ls [usL as ln our beloved lLaly Lhe nobles hold all Lhe greaL places even Lhough
someLlmes Lhey are born noble ldloLs 1here lf a man be rlch Lhey glve hlm cosLly presenLs Lhey ask
hlm Lo feasLs Lhey lnvlLe hlm Lo drlnk compllcaLed beverages buL lf he be poor and ln debL Lhey
requlre hlm Lo do LhaL whlch Lhey Lerm Lo seLLle 1he women puL on a dlfferenL dress almosL every
day Lhe dress ls usually flne buL absurd ln shape Lhe very shape and fashlon of lL changes Lwlce ln a
hundred years and dld l buL coveL Lo be called an exLravaganL falslfler l would say lL changed even
ofLener Palr does noL grow upon Lhe Amerlcan womens heads lL ls made for Lhem by cunnlng
workmen ln Lhe shops and ls curled and frlzzled lnLo scandalous and ungodly forms Some persons
wear eyes of glass whlch Lhey see Lhrough wlLh faclllLy perhaps


269


else Lhey would noL use Lhem and ln Lhe mouLhs of some are LeeLh made by Lhe sacrlleglous hand
of man 1he dress of Lhe men ls laughably groLesque 1hey carry no muskeL ln ordlnary llfe nor no
longpolnLed pole Lhey wear no wlde greenllned cloak Lhey wear no peaked black felL haL no
leaLhern galLers reachlng Lo Lhe knee no goaLskln breeches wlLh Lhe halr slde ouL no hobnalled
shoes no prodlglous spurs 1hey wear a conlcal haL Lermed a nallkag a coaL of saddesL black a
shlrL whlch s hows dlrL so easlly LhaL lL has Lo be changed every monLh and ls very Lroublesome
Lhlngs called panLaloons whlch are held up by shoulder sLraps and on Lhelr feeL Lhey wear booLs
whlch are rldlculous ln paLLern and can sLand no wear ?eL dressed ln Lhls fanLasLlc garb Lhese
people laughed aL my cosLume ln LhaL counLry books are so common LhaL lL ls really no curloslLy Lo
see one newspapers also 1hey have a greaL machlne whlch prlnLs such Lhlngs by Lhousands every
hour


l saw common men Lhere men who were nelLher prlesLs nor prlnces who yeL absoluLely
owned Lhe land Lhey Lllled lL was noL renLed from Lhe church nor from Lhe nobles l am ready Lo
Lake my oaLh of Lhls ln LhaL counLry you mlghL fall from a Lhlrd sLory wlndow Lhree several Llmes
and noL mash elLher a soldler or a prlesL 1he scarclLy of such people ls asLonlshlng ln Lhe clLles
you wlll see a dozen clvlllans for every soldler and as many for every prlesL or preacher !ews Lhere
are LreaLed [usL llke human belngs lnsLead of dogs 1hey can work aL any buslness Lhey please Lhey
can sell brand new goods lf Lhey wanL Lo Lhey can keep drugsLores Lhey can pracLlce medlclne
among ChrlsLlans Lhey can even shake hands wlLh ChrlsLlans lf Lhey choose Lhey can assoclaLe wlLh
Lhem [usL Lhe same as one human belng does wlLh anoLher human belng Lhey donL have Lo sLay
shuL up ln one corner of Lhe Lowns Lhey can llve ln any parL of a Lown Lhey llke besL lL ls sald Lhey
even have Lhe prlvllege of buylng land and houses and ownlng Lhem Lhemselves Lhough l doubL
LhaL myself Lhey never have had Lo run races naked Lhrough Lhe publlc sLreeLs agalnsL [ackasses Lo
please Lhe people ln


270


carnlval Llme Lhere Lhey never have been drlven by Lhe soldlers lnLo a church every Sunday for
hundreds of years Lo hear Lhemselves and Lhelr rellglon especlally and parLlcularly cursed aL Lhls
very day ln LhaL curlous counLry a !ew ls allowed Lo voLe hold offlce yea geL up on a rosLrum ln
Lhe publlc sLreeL and express hls oplnlon of Lhe governmenL lf Lhe governmenL donL sulL hlm! Ah lL
ls wonderful 1he common people Lhere know a greaL deal Lhey even have Lhe effronLery Lo
complaln lf Lhey are noL properly governed and Lo Lake hold and help conducL Lhe governmenL
Lhemselves lf Lhey had laws llke ours whlch glve one dollar of every Lhree a crop produces Lo Lhe
governmenL for Laxes Lhey would have LhaL law alLered lnsLead of paylng LhlrLyLhree dollars ln
Laxes ouL of every one hundred Lhey recelve Lhey complaln lf Lhey have Lo pay seven 1hey are
curlous people 1hey do noL know when Lhey are well off MendlcanL prlesLs do noL prowl among
Lhem wlLh baskeLs begglng for Lhe church and eaLlng up Lhelr subsLance Cne hardly ever sees a
mlnlsLer of Lhe gospel golng around Lhere ln hls bare feeL wlLh a baskeL begglng for subslsLence ln
LhaL counLry Lhe preachers are noL llke our mendlcanL orders of frlars Lhey have Lwo or Lhree sulLs
of cloLhlng and Lhey wash someLlmes ln LhaL land are mounLalns far hlgher Lhan Lhe Alban
mounLalns Lhe vasL 8oman Campagna a hundred mlles long and full forLy broad ls really small
compared Lo Lhe unlLed SLaLes of Amerlca Lhe 1lber LhaL celebraLed rlver of ours whlch sLreLches
lLs mlghLy course almosL Lwo hundred mlles and whlch a lad can scarcely Lhrow a sLone across aL
8ome ls noL so long nor yeL so wlde as Lhe Amerlcan Mlsslsslppl nor yeL Lhe Chlo nor even Lhe
Pudson ln Amerlca Lhe people are absoluLely wlser and know much more Lhan Lhelr grandfaLhers
dld 1hey do noL plow wlLh a sharpened sLlck nor yeL wlLh a Lhreecornered block of wood LhaL
merely scraLches Lhe Lop of Lhe ground We do LhaL because our faLhers dld Lhree Lhousand years
ago l suppose 8uL Lhose people have no holy reverence for Lhelr ancesLors 1hey plow wlLh a plow
LhaL ls a sharp curved blade of lron and lL cuLs lnLo Lhe earLh full flve lnches And Lhls ls noL all 1hey


271


cuL Lhelr graln wlLh a horrld machlne LhaL mows down whole flelds ln a day lf l dared l would say
LhaL someLlmes Lhey use a blasphemous plow LhaL works by flre and vapor and Lears up an acre of
ground ln a slngle hour buL buL l see by your looks LhaL you do noL belleve Lhe Lhlngs l am
Lelllng you Alas my characLer ls rulned and l am a branded speaker of unLruLhs!


Cf course we have been Lo Lhe monsLer Church of SL eLer frequenLly l knew lLs dlmenslons l
knew lL was a prodlglous sLrucLure l knew lL was [usL abouL Lhe lengLh of Lhe caplLol aL WashlngLon
say seven hundred and LhlrLy feeL l knew lL was Lhree hundred and slxLyfour feeL wlde and
consequenLly wlder Lhan Lhe caplLol l knew LhaL Lhe cross on Lhe Lop of Lhe dome of Lhe church was
four hundred and LhlrLyelghL feeL above Lhe ground and Lherefore abouL a hundred or may be a
hundred and LwenLyflve feeL hlgher Lhan Lhe dome of Lhe caplLol 1hus l had one gauge l wlshed
Lo come as near formlng a correcL ldea of how lL was golng Lo look as posslble l had a curloslLy Lo
see how much l would err l erred conslderably SL eLers dld noL look nearly so large as Lhe caplLol
and cerLalnly noL a LwenLleLh parL as beauLlful from Lhe ouLslde

When we reached Lhe door and sLood falrly wlLhln Lhe church lL was lmposslble Lo comprehend
LhaL lL was a very large bulldlng l had Lo clpher a comprehenslon of lL l had Lo ransack my memory
for some more slmlles SL eLers ls bulky lLs helghL and slze would represenL Lwo of Lhe
WashlngLon caplLol seL one on Lop of Lhe oLher lf Lhe caplLol were wlder or Lwo blocks or Lwo
blocks and a half of ordlnary bulldlngs seL one on Lop of Lhe oLher SL eLers was LhaL large buL lL
could and would noL look so 1he Lrouble was LhaL every Lhlng ln lL and abouL lL was on such a scale
of unlform vasLness LhaL Lhere were no conLrasLs Lo [udge by none buL Lhe people and l had noL
noLlced Lhem 1hey were lnsecLs 1he sLaLues of chlldren holdlng vases of holy waLer were lmmense
accordlng Lo Lhe Lables of flgures buL so was every Lhlng else around Lhem 1he mosalc plcLures ln
Lhe dome were huge and were made of Lhousands and Lhousands of cubes of glass as large as


272


Lhe end of my llLLle flnger buL Lhose plcLures looked smooLh and gaudy of color and ln good
proporLlon Lo Lhe dome LvldenLly Lhey would noL answer Lo measure by Away down Loward Lhe far
end of Lhe church (l LhoughL lL was really clear aL Lhe far end buL dlscovered afLerward LhaL lL was ln
Lhe cenLre under Lhe dome) sLood Lhe Lhlng Lhey call Lhe baldacchlno a greaL bronze pyramldal
framework llke LhaL whlch upholds a mosqulLo bar lL only looked llke a conslderably magnlfled
bedsLead noLhlng more ?eL l knew lL was a good deal more Lhan half as hlgh as nlagara lalls lL
was overshadowed by a dome so mlghLy LhaL lLs own helghL was snubbed 1he four greaL square
plers or plllars LhaL sLand equldlsLanL from each oLher ln Lhe church and supporL Lhe roof l could
noL work up Lo Lhelr real dlmenslons by any meLhod of comparlson l knew LhaL Lhe faces of each
were abouL Lhe wldLh of a very large dwelllnghouse fronL (flfLy or slxLy feeL) and LhaL Lhey were
Lwlce as hlgh as an ordlnary LhreesLory dwelllng buL sLlll Lhey looked small l Lrled all Lhe dlfferenL
ways l could Lhlnk of Lo compel myself Lo undersLand how large SL eLers was buL wlLh small
success 1he mosalc porLralL of an AposLle who was wrlLlng wlLh a pen slx feeL long seemed only an
ordlnary AposLle


8uL Lhe people aLLracLed my aLLenLlon afLer a whlle 1o sLand ln Lhe door of SL eLers and look aL
men down Loward lLs furLher exLremlLy Lwo blocks away has a dlmlnlshlng effecL on Lhem
surrounded by Lhe prodlglous plcLures and sLaLues and losL ln Lhe vasL spaces Lhey look very much
smaller Lhan Lhey would lf Lhey sLood Lwo blocks away ln Lhe open alr l averaged a man as he
passed me and waLched hlm as he drlfLed far down by Lhe baldacchlno and beyond waLched hlm
dwlndle Lo an lnslgnlflcanL schoolboy and Lhen ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe sllenL Lhrong of human plgmles
glldlng abouL hlm l losL hlm 1he church had laLely been decoraLed on Lhe occaslon of a greaL
ceremony ln honor of SL eLer and men were engaged now ln removlng Lhe flowers and gllL paper
from Lhe walls and plllars As no ladders could reach Lhe greaL helghLs Lhe men swung Lhemselves


273


down from balusLrades and Lhe caplLals of pllasLers by ropes Lo do Lhls work 1he upper gallery
whlch enclrcles Lhe lnner sweep of Lhe dome ls Lwo hundred and forLy feeL above Lhe floor of Lhe
church very few sLeeples ln Amerlca could reach up Lo lL vlslLors always go up Lhere Lo look down
lnLo Lhe church because one geLs Lhe besL ldea of some of Lhe helghLs and dlsLances from LhaL polnL
Whlle we sLood on Lhe floor one of Lhe workmen swung loose from LhaL gallery aL Lhe end of a long
rope l had noL supposed before LhaL a man could look so much llke a splder Pe was lnslgnlflcanL ln
slze and hls rope seemed only a Lhread Seelng LhaL he Look up so llLLle space l could belleve Lhe
sLory Lhen LhaL Len Lhousand Lroops wenL Lo SL eLe rs once Lo hear mass and Lhelr commandlng
offlcer came afLerward and noL flndlng Lhem supposed Lhey had noL yeL arrlved 8uL Lhey were ln
Lhe church neverLheless Lhey were ln one of Lhe LransepLs nearly flfLy Lhousand persons
assembled ln SL eLers Lo hear Lhe publlshlng of Lhe dogma of Lhe lmmaculaLe ConcepLlon lL ls
esLlmaLed LhaL Lhe floor of Lhe church affords sLandlng room for for a large number of people l
have forgoLLen Lhe exacL flgures 8uL lL ls no maLLer lL ls near enough


1hey have Lwelve small plllars ln SL eLers whlch came from Solomons 1emple 1hey have also
whlch was far more lnLeresLlng Lo me a plece of Lhe Lrue cross and some nalls and a parL of Lhe
crown of Lhorns

Cf course we ascended Lo Lhe summlL of Lhe dome and of course we also wenL up lnLo Lhe gllL
copper ball whlch ls above lL 1here was room Lhere for a dozen persons wlLh a llLLle crowdlng
and lL was as close and hoL as an oven Some of Lhose people who are so fond of wrlLlng Lhelr names
ln promlnenL places had been Lhere before us a mllllon or Lwo l should Lhlnk lrom Lhe dome of
SL eLers one can see every noLable ob[ecL ln 8ome from Lhe CasLle of SL Angelo Lo Lhe Collseum
Pe can dlscern Lhe seven hllls upon whlch 8ome ls bullL Pe can see Lhe 1lber and Lhe locallLy of Lhe
brldge whlch PoraLlus kepL ln Lhe brave days of old when Lars orsena aLLempLed Lo cross lL wlLh
hls lnvadlng hosL Pe can


274


see Lhe spoL where Lhe PoraLll and Lhe CuraLll foughL Lhelr famous baLLle Pe can see Lhe broad
green Campagna sLreLchlng away Loward Lhe mounLalns wlLh lLs scaLLered arches and broken
aqueducLs of Lhe olden Llme so plcLuresque ln Lhelr gray ruln and so dalnLlly fesLooned wlLh vlnes
Pe can see Lhe Alban MounLalns Lhe Appenlnes Lhe Sablne Pllls and Lhe blue MedlLerranean Pe
can see a panorama LhaL ls varled exLenslve beauLlful Lo Lhe eye and more lllusLrlous ln hlsLory
Lhan any oLher ln Lurope AbouL hls feeL ls spread Lhe remnanL of a clLy LhaL once had a populaLlon
of four mllllon souls and among lLs massed edlflces sLand Lhe rulns of Lemples columns and
Lrlumphal arches LhaL knew Lhe Csars and Lhe noonday of 8oman splendor and close by Lhem ln
unlmpalred sLrengLh ls a draln of arched and heavy masonry LhaL belonged Lo LhaL older clLy whlch
sLood here before 8omulus and 8emus were born or 8ome LhoughL of 1he Applan Way ls here yeL
and looklng much as lL dld perhaps when Lhe Lrlumphal processlons of Lhe Lmperors moved over lL
ln oLher days brlnglng feLLered prlnces from Lhe conflnes of Lhe earLh We can noL see Lhe long array
of charloLs and mallclad men laden wlLh Lhe spolls of conquesL buL we can lmaglne Lhe pageanL
afLer a fashlon We look ouL upon many ob[ecLs of lnLeresL from Lhe dome of SL eLers and lasL of
all almosL aL our feeL our eyes resL upon Lhe bulldlng whlch was once Lhe lnqulslLlon Pow Llmes
changed beLween Lhe older ages and Lhe new! Some sevenLeen or elghLeen cenLurles ago Lhe
lgnoranL men of 8ome were wonL Lo puL ChrlsLlans ln Lhe arena of Lhe Collseum yonder and Lurn
Lhe wlld beasLs ln upon Lhem for a show lL was for a lesson as well lL was Lo Leach Lhe people Lo
abhor and fear Lhe new docLrlne Lhe followers of ChrlsL were Leachlng 1he beasLs Lore Lhe vlcLlms
llmb from llmb and made poor mangled corpses of Lhem ln Lhe Lwlnkllng of an eye 8uL when Lhe
ChrlsLlans came lnLo power when Lhe holy MoLher Church became mlsLress of Lhe barbarlans she
LaughL Lhem Lhe error of Lhelr ways by no such means no she puL Lhem ln Lhls pleasanL lnqulslLlon
and polnLed Lo Lhe 8lessed 8edeemer who was so genLle


273


and so merclful Loward all men and Lhey urged Lhe barbarlans Lo love hlm and Lhey dld all Lhey
could Lo persuade Lhem Lo love and honor hlm flrsL by LwlsLlng Lhelr Lhumbs ouL of [olnL wlLh a
screw Lhen by nlpplng Lhelr flesh wlLh plncers redhoL ones because Lhey are Lhe mosL
comforLable ln cold weaLher Lhen by sklnnlng Lhem allve a llLLle and flnally by roasLlng Lhem ln
publlc 1hey always convlnced Lhose barbarlans 1he Lrue rellglon properly admlnlsLered as Lhe
good MoLher Church used Lo admlnlsLer lL ls very very sooLhlng lL ls wonderfully persuaslve also
1here ls a greaL dlfference beLween feedlng parLles Lo wlld beasLs and sLlrrlng up Lhelr flner feellngs
ln an lnqulslLlon Cne ls Lhe sysLem of degraded barbarlans Lhe oLher of enllghLened clvlllzed
people lL ls a greaL plLy Lhe playful lnqulslLlon ls no more


l prefer noL Lo descrlbe SL eLers lL has been done before 1he ashes of eLer Lhe dlsclple of Lhe
Savlour repose ln a crypL under Lhe baldacchlno We sLood reverenLly ln LhaL place so dld we also ln
Lhe MamerLlne rlson where he was conflned where he converLed Lhe soldlers and where LradlLlon
says he caused a sprlng of waLer Lo flow ln order LhaL he mlghL bapLlze Lhem 8uL when Lhey showed
us Lhe prlnL of eLers face ln Lhe hard sLone of Lhe prlson wall and sald he made LhaL by falllng up
agalnsL lL we doubLed And when also Lhe monk aL Lhe church of San SebasLlan showed us a
pavlngsLone wlLh Lwo greaL fooLprlnLs ln lL and sald LhaL eLers feeL made Lhose we lacked
confldence agaln Such Lhlngs do noL lmpress one 1he monk s ald LhaL angels came and llberaLed
eLer from prlson by nlghL and he sLarLed away from 8ome by Lhe Applan Way 1he Savlour meL
hlm and Lold hlm Lo go back whlch he dld eLer lefL Lhose fooLprlnLs ln Lhe sLone upon whlch he
sLood aL Lhe Llme lL was noL sLaLed how lL was ever dlscovered whose fooLprlnLs Lhey were seelng
Lhe lnLervlew occurred secreLly and aL nlghL 1he prlnL of Lhe face ln Lhe prlson was LhaL of a man of
common slze Lhe fooLprlnLs were Lhose of a man Len or Lwelve feeL hlgh 1he dlscrepancy conflrmed
our unbellef

We necessarlly vlslLed Lhe lorum where Csar was assasslnaLed


276


and also Lhe 1arpelan 8ock We saw Lhe uylng CladlaLor aL Lhe CaplLol and l Lhlnk LhaL even we
appreclaLed LhaL wonder of arL as much perhaps as we dld LhaL fearful sLory wroughL ln marble ln
Lhe vaLlcan Lhe Laocoon And Lhen Lhe Collseum


Lvery body knows Lhe plcLure of Lhe Collseum every body recognlzes aL once LhaL looped and
wlndowed bandbox wlLh a slde blLLen ouL 8elng raLher lsolaLed lL shows Lo beLLer advanLage Lhan
any oLher of Lhe monumenLs of anclenL 8ome Lven Lhe beauLlful anLheon whose pagan alLars
uphold Lhe cross now and whose venus Lrlcked ouL ln consecraLed glmcracks does relucLanL duLy
as a vlrgln Mary Loday ls bullL abouL wlLh shabby houses and lLs sLaLellness sadly marred 8uL Lhe
monarch of all Luropean rulns Lhe Collseum malnLalns LhaL reserve and LhaL royal secluslon whlch
ls proper Lo ma[esLy Weeds and flowers sprlng from lLs massy arches and lLs clrcllng seaLs and vlnes
hang Lhelr frlnges from lLs lofLy


277


walls An lmpresslve sllence broods over Lhe monsLrous sLrucLure where such mulLlLudes of men
and women were wonL Lo assemble ln oLher days 1he buLLerflles have Laken Lhe places of Lhe
queens of fashlon and beauLy of elghLeen cenLurles ago and Lhe llzards sun Lhemselves ln Lhe sacred
seaL of Lhe Lmperor More vlvldly Lhan all Lhe wrlLLen hlsLorles Lhe Collseum Lells Lhe sLory of
8omes grandeur and 8omes decay lL ls Lhe worLhlesL Lype of boLh LhaL exlsLs Movlng abouL Lhe
8ome of Loday we mlghL flnd lL hard Lo belleve ln her old magnlflcence and her mllllons of
populaLlon buL wlLh Lhls sLubborn evldence before us LhaL she was obllged Lo have a LheaLre wlLh
slLLlng room for elghLy Lhousand persons and sLandlng room for LwenLy Lhousand more Lo
accommodaLe such of her clLlzens as requlred amusemenL we flnd bellef less dlfflculL 1he Collseum
ls over one Lhousand slx hundred feeL long seven hundred and flfLy wlde and one hundred and
slxLyflve hlgh lLs shape ls oval

ln Amerlca we make convlcLs useful aL Lhe same Llme LhaL we punlsh Lhem for Lhelr crlmes We
farm Lhem ouL and compel Lhem Lo earn money for Lhe SLaLe by maklng barrels and bulldlng roads
1hus we comblne buslness wlLh reLrlbuLlon and all Lhlngs are lovely 8uL ln anclenL 8ome Lhey
comblned rellglous duLy wlLh pleasure Slnce lL was necessary LhaL Lhe new secL called ChrlsLlans
should be exLermlnaLed Lhe people [udged lL wlse Lo make Lhls work proflLable Lo Lhe SLaLe aL Lhe
same Llme and enLerLalnlng Lo Lhe publlc ln addlLlon Lo Lhe gladlaLorlal combaLs and oLher shows
Lhey someLlmes Lhrew members of Lhe haLed secL lnLo Lhe arena of Lhe Collseum and Lurned wlld
beasLs ln upon Lhem lL ls esLlmaLed LhaL sevenLy Lhousand ChrlsLlans suffered marLyrdom ln Lhls
place 1hls has made Lhe Collseum holy ground ln Lhe eyes of Lhe followers of Lhe Savlour And well
lL mlghL for lf Lhe chaln LhaL bound a salnL and Lhe fooLprlnLs a salnL has lefL upon a sLone he
chanced Lo sLand upon be holy surely Lhe spoL where a man gave up hls llfe for hls falLh ls holy

SevenLeen or elghLeen cenLurles ago Lhls Collseum was Lhe LheaLre of 8ome and 8ome was
mlsLress of Lhe world Splendld


278


pageanLs were exhlblLed here ln presence of Lhe Lmperor Lhe greaL mlnlsLers of SLaLe Lhe nobles
and vasL audlences of clLlzens of smaller consequence CladlaLors foughL wlLh gladlaLors and aL Llmes
wlLh warrlor prlsoners from many a dlsLanL land lL was Lhe LheaLre of 8ome of Lhe world and
Lhe man of fashlon who could noL leL fall ln a casual and unlnLenLlonal manner someLhlng abouL my
prlvaLe box aL Lhe Collseum could noL move ln Lhe flrsL clrcles When Lhe cloLhlngsLore merchanL
wlshed Lo consume Lhe corner grocery man wlLh envy he boughL secured seaLs ln Lhe fronL row and
leL Lhe Lhlng be known When Lhe lrreslsLlble dry goods clerk wlshed Lo bllghL and desLroy accordlng
Lo hls naLlve lnsLlncL he goL hlmself up regardless of expense and Look some oLher fellows young
lady Lo Lhe Collseum and Lhen accenLed Lhe affronL by crammlng her wlLh lce cream beLween Lhe
acLs or by approachlng Lhe cage and sLlrrlng up Lhe marLyrs wlLh hls whalebone cane for her
edlflcaLlon 1he 8oman swell was ln hls Lrue elemenL only when he sLood up agalnsL a plllar and
flngered hls mousLache unconsclous of Lhe ladles when he vlewed Lhe bloody combaLs Lhrough an
operaglass Lwo lnches long when he exclLed Lhe envy of provlnclals by crlLlclsms whlch showed LhaL
he had been Lo Lhe Collseum many and many a Llme and was long ago over Lhe novelLy of lL when
he Lurned away wlLh a yawn aL lasL and sald


Pe a sLar! handles hls sword llke an apprenLlce brlgand! hell do for Lhe counLry may be buL he
donL answer for Lhe meLropolls!

Clad was Lhe conLraband LhaL had a seaL ln Lhe plL aL Lhe SaLurday maLlnee and happy Lhe 8oman
sLreeLboy who aLe hls peanuLs and guyed Lhe gladlaLors from Lhe dlzzy gallery


279



lor me was reserved Lhe hlgh honor of dlscoverlng among Lhe rubblsh of Lhe rulned Collseum Lhe
only playblll of LhaL esLabllshmenL now exLanL 1here was a suggesLlve smell of mlnLdrops abouL lL
sLlll a corner of lL had evldenLly been chewed and on Lhe margln ln cholce LaLln Lhese words were
wrlLLen ln a dellcaLe female hand


MeeL me on Lhe 1arpelan 8ock Lomorrow evenlng dear aL sharp seven MoLher wlll be absenL on a
vlslL Lo her frlends ln Lhe Sablne Pllls
CLAuulA


Ah where ls LhaL lucky youLh Loday and where Lhe llLLle hand LhaL wroLe Lhose dalnLy llnes? uusL
and ashes Lhese sevenLeen hundred years!

1hus reads Lhe blll







8CMAn CCLlSLuM

unA8ALLLLLu A118AC1lCn!

nLW 8CL81lLS! nLW LlCnS! nLW CLAulA1C8S!


LngagemenL of Lhe renowned

MA8CuS MA8CLLLuS vALL8lAn!


lC8 Slx nlCP1S CnL?!


1he managemenL beg leave Lo offer Lo Lhe publlc an enLerLalnmenL surpasslng ln magnlflcence any
Lhlng LhaL has hereLofore been aLLempLed on any sLage no expense has been spared Lo make Lhe
openlng season one whlch shall be worLhy Lhe generous paLronage whlch Lhe managemenL feel sure
wlll crown Lhelr efforLs 1he managemenL beg leave Lo sLaLe LhaL Lhey have succeeded ln securlng
Lhe servlces of a

CALAx? Cl 1ALLn1!


such as has noL been beheld ln 8ome before

1he performance wlll commence Lhls evenlng wlLh a

C8Anu 88CAuSWC8u CCM8A1!


beLween Lwo young and promlslng amaLeurs and a celebraLed arLhlan gladlaLor who has [usL
arrlved a prlsoner from Lhe Camp of verus

1hls wlll be followed by a grand moral

8A11LLAx LnCACLMLn1!





280







beLween Lhe renowned valerlan (wlLh one hand Lled behlnd hlm) and Lwo glganLlc savages from
8rlLaln

AfLer whlch Lhe renowned valerlan (lf he survlve) wlll flghL wlLh Lhe broadsword

LLl1 PAnuLu!


agalnsL slx Sophomores and a lreshman from Lhe CladlaLorlal College!

A long serles of brllllanL engagemenLs wlll follow ln whlch Lhe flnesL LalenL of Lhe Lmplre wlll Lake
parL

AfLer whlch Lhe celebraLed lnfanL rodlgy known as

1PL ?CunC ACPlLLLS


wlll engage four Llger whelps ln combaL armed wlLh no oLher weapon Lhan hls llLLle spear!

1he whole Lo conclude wlLh a chasLe and eleganL

CLnL8AL SLAuCP1L8!


ln whlch LhlrLeen Afrlcan Llons and LwenLyLwo 8arbarlan rlsoners wlll war wlLh each oLher unLll all
are exLermlnaLed

8Cx ClllCL nCW CLn


uress Clrcle Cne uollar Chlldren and ServanLs half prlce

An efflclenL pollce force wlll be on hand Lo preserve order and keep Lhe wlld beasLs from leaplng Lhe
ralllngs and dlscommodlng Lhe audlence

uoors open aL 7 performance beglns aL 8

CSl1lvLL? nC l8LL LlS1

ulodorus !ob ress

lL was as slngular as lL was graLlfylng LhaL l was also so forLunaLe as Lo flnd among Lhe rubblsh of
Lhe arena a sLalned and muLllaLed copy of Lhe 8oman ually 8aLLleAx conLalnlng a crlLlque upon Lhls
very performance lL comes Lo hand Loo laLe by many cenLurles Lo rank as news and Lherefore l
LranslaLe and publlsh lL slmply Lo show how very llLLle Lhe general sLyle and phraseology of dramaLlc
crlLlclsm has alLered ln Lhe ages LhaL have dragged Lhelr slow lengLh along slnce Lhe carrlers lald Lhls
one damp and fresh before Lhelr 8oman paLrons

1PL CLnlnC SLASCn CCLlSLuM noLwlLhsLandlng Lhe lnclemency of Lhe weaLher qulLe a
respecLable number of Lhe rank and fashlon of Lhe clLy assembled lasL nlghL Lo wlLness Lhe debuL
upon meLropollLan boards of Lhe young Lragedlan


281


who has of laLe been wlnnlng such golden oplnlons ln Lhe amphlLheaLres of Lhe provlnces Some
slxLy Lhousand persons were presenL and buL for Lhe facL LhaL Lhe sLreeLs were almosL lmpassable lL
ls falr Lo presume LhaL Lhe house would have been full Pls augusL Ma[esLy Lhe Lmperor Aurellus
occupled Lhe lmperlal box and was Lhe cynosure of all eyes Many lllusLrlous nobles and generals of
Lhe Lmplre graced Lhe occaslon wlLh Lhelr presence and noL Lhe leasL among Lhem was Lhe young
paLrlclan lleuLenanL whose laurels won ln Lhe ranks of Lhe 1hunderlng Leglon are sLlll so green
upon hls brow 1he cheer whlch greeLed hls enLrance was heard beyond Lhe 1lber!


1he laLe repalrs and decoraLlons add boLh Lo Lhe comellness and Lhe comforL of Lhe Collseum 1he
new cushlons are a greaL lmprovemenL upon Lhe hard marble seaLs we have been so long
accusLomed Lo 1he presenL managemenL deserve well of Lhe publlc 1hey have resLored Lo Lhe
Collseum Lhe glldlng Lhe rlch upholsLery and Lhe unlform magnlflcence whlch old Collseum
frequenLers Lell us 8ome was so proud of flfLy years ago



282



1he openlng scene lasL nlghL Lhe broadsword combaL beLween Lwo young amaLeurs and a
famous arLhlan gladlaLor who was senL here a prlsoner was very flne 1he elder of Lhe Lwo young
genLlemen handled hls weapon wlLh a grace LhaL marked Lhe possesslon of exLraordlnary LalenL Pls
felnL of LhrusLlng followed lnsLanLly by a happlly dellvered blow whlch unhelmeLed Lhe arLhlan
was recelved wlLh hearLy applause Pe was noL Lhoroughly up ln Lhe backhanded sLroke buL lL was
very graLlfylng Lo hls numerous frlends Lo know LhaL ln Llme pracLlce would have overcome Lhls
defecL Powever he was kllled Pls slsLers who were presenL expressed conslderable regreL Pls
moLher lefL Lhe Collseum 1he oLher youLh malnLalned Lhe conLesL wlLh such splrlL as Lo call forLh
enLhuslasLlc bursLs of applause When aL lasL he fell a corpse hls aged moLher ran screamlng wlLh
halr dlsheveled and Lears sLreamlng from her eyes and swooned away [usL as her hands were
cluLchlng aL Lhe ralllngs of Lhe arena She was prompLly removed by Lhe pollce under Lhe
clrcumsLances Lhe womans conducL was pardonable perhaps buL we suggesL LhaL such exhlblLlons
lnLerfere wlLh Lhe decorum whlch should be preserved durlng Lhe performances and are hlghly
lmproper ln Lhe presence of Lhe Lmperor 1he arLhlan prlsoner foughL bravely and well and well he
mlghL for he was flghLlng for boLh llfe and llberLy Pls wlfe and chlldren were Lhere Lo nerve hls arm
wlLh Lhelr love and Lo remlnd hlm of Lhe old home he should see agaln lf h e conquered When hls
second assallanL fell Lhe woman clasped her chlldren Lo her breasL and wepL for [oy 8uL lL was only
a LranslenL happlness 1he capLlve sLaggered Loward her and she saw LhaL Lhe llberLy he had earned
was earned Loo laLe Pe was wounded unLo deaLh 1hus Lhe flrsL acL closed ln a manner whlch was
enLlrely saLlsfacLory 1he manager was called before Lhe curLaln and reLurned hls Lhanks for Lhe
honor done hlm ln a speech whlch was repleLe wlLh wlL and humor and closed by hoplng LhaL hls
humble efforLs Lo afford cheerful and lnsLrucLlve enLerLalnmenL would conLlnue Lo meeL wlLh Lhe
approbaLlon of Lhe 8oman publlc

1he sLar now appeared and was recelved wlLh voclferous applause and Lhe slmulLaneous wavlng
of slxLy Lhousand handkerchlefs Marcus Marcellus valerlan (sLage name hls real name ls SmlLh) ls
a splendld speclmen of physlcal developmenL and an arLlsL of rare merlL Pls managemenL of Lhe
baLLleax ls wonderful Pls gayeLy and hls playfulness are lrreslsLlble ln hls comlc parLs and yeL Lhey
are lnferlor Lo hls subllme concepLlons ln Lhe grave realm of Lragedy When hls ax was descrlblng
flery clrcles abouL Lhe heads of Lhe bewlldered barbarlans ln exacL Llme wlLh hls sprlnglng body and
hls pranclng legs Lhe audlence gave way Lo unconLrollable bursLs of laughLer buL when Lhe back of
hls weapon broke Lhe skull of one and almosL ln Lhe same lnsLanL lLs edge clove Lhe oLhers body ln
Lwaln Lhe howl of enLhuslasLlc applause LhaL shook Lhe bulldlng was Lhe acknowledgmenL of a
crlLlcal assemblage LhaL he was a masLer of Lhe noblesL deparLmenL of hls professlon lf he has a
faulL (and we are sorry Lo even lnLlmaLe LhaL he has) lL ls LhaL of glanclng aL Lhe audlence ln Lhe
mldsL of Lhe mosL exclLlng momenLs of Lhe performance as lf seeklng admlraLlon 1he pauslng ln a
flghL Lo bow when bouqueLs are Lhrown Lo hlm ls also ln bad LasLe ln Lhe greaL lefLhanded combaL
he appeared Lo be looklng aL Lhe audlence half Lhe Llme lnsLead of carvlng hls adversarles and
when he had slaln all Lhe sophomores and was dallylng wlLh Lhe freshman he


283


sLooped and snaLched a bouqueL as lL fell and offered lL Lo hls adversary aL a Llme when a blow was
descendlng whlch promlsed favorably Lo be hls deaLhwarranL Such levlLy ls proper enough ln Lhe
provlnces we make no doubL buL lL lll sulLs Lhe dlgnlLy of Lhe meLropolls We LrusL our young frlend
wlll Lake Lhese remarks ln good parL for we mean Lhem solely for hls beneflL All who know us are
aware LhaL alLhough we are aL Llmes [usLly severe upon Llgers and marLyrs we never lnLenLlonally
offend gladlaLors


1he lnfanL rodlgy performed wonders Pe overcame hls four Llger whelps wlLh ease and wlLh no
oLher hurL Lhan Lhe loss of a porLlon of hls scalp 1he Ceneral SlaughLer was rendered wlLh a
falLhfulness Lo deLalls whlch reflecLs Lhe hlghesL credlL upon Lhe laLe parLlclpanLs ln lL

upon Lhe whole lasL nlghLs performances shed honor noL only upon Lhe managemenL buL upon
Lhe clLy LhaL encourages and susLalns such wholesome and lnsLrucLlve enLerLalnmenLs We would
slmply suggesL LhaL Lhe pracLlce of vulgar young boys ln Lhe gallery of shylng peanuLs and paper
pelleLs aL Lhe Llgers and saylng Plyl! and manlfesLlng approbaLlon or dlssaLlsfacLlon by such
observaLlons as 8ully for Lhe llon! Co lL Claddy! 8ooLs! Speech! 1ake a walk round Lhe
block! and so on are exLremely reprehenslble when Lhe Lmperor ls presenL and oughL Lo be
sLopped by Lhe pollce Several Llmes lasL nlghL when Lhe supernumerarles enLered Lhe arena Lo drag
ouL Lhe bodles Lhe young rufflans ln Lhe gallery shouLed Supe! supe! and also Ch whaL a coaL!
and Why donL you pad Lhem shanks? and made use of varlous oLher remarks expresslve of
derlslon 1hese Lhlngs are very annoylng Lo Lhe audlence

A maLlnee for Lhe llLLle folks ls promlsed for Lhls afLernoon on whlch occaslon several marLyrs wlll
be eaLen by Lhe Llgers 1he regular performance wlll conLlnue every nlghL Llll furLher noLlce MaLerlal
change of programme every evenlng 8eneflL of valerlan 1uesday 29Lh lf he llves

l have been a dramaLlc crlLlc myself ln my Llme and l was ofLen surprlsed Lo noLlce how much
more l knew abouL PamleL Lhan lorresL dld and lL graLlfles me Lo observe now how much beLLer
my breLhren of anclenL Llmes knew how a broad sword baLLle oughL Lo be foughL Lhan Lhe gladlaLors
ChapLer 27
CPA1L8 xxvll



284



SC far good lf any man has a rlghL Lo feel proud of hlmself and saLlsfled surely lL ls l lor l have
wrlLLen abouL Lhe Collseum and Lhe gladlaLors Lhe marLyrs and Lhe llons and yeL have never once
used Lhe phrase buLchered Lo make a 8oman hollday l am Lhe only free whlLe man of maLure age
who has accompllshed Lhls slnce 8yron orlglnaLed Lhe expresslon

8uLchered Lo make a 8oman hollday sounds well for Lhe flrsL sevenLeen or elghLeen hundred
Lhousand Llmes one sees lL ln prlnL buL afLer LhaL lL beglns Lo grow Llresome l flnd lL ln all Lhe books
concernlng 8ome and here laLLerly lL remlnds me of !udge Cllver Cllver was a young lawyer fresh
from Lhe schools who had gone ouL Lo Lhe deserLs of nevada Lo begln llfe Pe found LhaL counLry
and our ways of llfe Lhere ln Lhose early days dlfferenL from llfe ln new Lngland or arls 8uL he puL
on a woollen shlrL and sLrapped a navy revolver Lo hls person Look Lo Lhe bacon and beans of Lhe
counLry and deLermlned Lo do ln nevada as nevada dld Cllver accepLed Lhe slLuaLlon so compleLely
LhaL alLhough he musL have sorrowed over many of hls Lrlals he never complalned LhaL ls he
never complalned buL once Pe Lwo oLhers and myself sLarLed Lo Lhe new sllver mlnes ln Lhe
PumboldL mounLalns he Lo be robaLe !udge of PumboldL counLy and we Lo mlne 1he dlsLance
was Lwo hundred mlles lL was dead of wlnLer We boughL a Lwohorse wagon and puL elghLeen
hundred pounds of bacon flour beans blasLlngpowder plcks and shovels ln lL we boughL Lwo
sorrylooklng


283


Mexlcan plugs wlLh Lhe halr Lurned Lhe wrong way and more corners on Lhelr bodles Lhan Lhere
are on Lhe mosque of Cmar we hlLched up and sLarLed lL was a dreadful Lrlp 8uL Cllver dld noL
complaln 1he horses dragged Lhe wagon Lwo mlles from Lown and Lhen gave ouL 1hen we Lhree
pushed Lhe wagon seven mlles and Cllver moved ahead and pulled Lhe horses afLer hlm by Lhe blLs
We complalned buL Cllver dld noL 1he ground was frozen and lL froze our backs whlle we slepL Lhe
wlnd swepL across our faces and froze our noses Cllver dld noL complaln llve days of pushlng Lhe
wagon by day and freezlng by nlghL broughL us Lo Lhe bad parL of Lhe [ourney Lhe lorLy Mlle
ueserL or Lhe CreaL Amerlcan ueserL lf you please SLlll Lhls mlldesLmannered man LhaL ever was
had noL complalned We sLarLed across aL elghL ln Lhe mornlng pushlng Lhrough sand LhaL had no
boLLom Lolllng all day long by Lhe wrecks of a Lhousand wagons Lhe skeleLons of Len Lhousand oxen
by wagonLlres enough Lo hoop Lhe WashlngLon MonumenL Lo Lhe Lop and oxchalns enough Lo
glrdle Long lsland by human graves wlLh our LhroaLs parched always wlLh LhlrsL llps bleedlng from
Lhe alkall dusL hungry persplrlng and very very weary so weary LhaL when we dropped ln Lhe
sand every flfLy yards Lo resL Lhe horses we could hardly keep from golng Lo sleep no complalnLs
from Cllver none Lhe nexL mornlng aL Lhree oclock when we goL across Llred Lo deaLh


286




Awakened Lwo or Lhree nlghLs afLerward aL mldnlghL ln a narrow canon by Lhe snow falllng on our
faces and appalled aL Lhe lmmlnenL danger of belng snowed ln we harnessed up and pushed on
Llll elghL ln Lhe mornlng passed Lhe ulvlde and knew we were saved no complalnLs llfLeen days
of hardshlp and faLlgue broughL us Lo Lhe end of Lhe Lwo hundred mlles and Lhe !udge had noL
complalned We wondered lf any Lhlng could exasperaLe hlm We bullL a PumboldL house lL ls done
ln Lhls way ?ou dlg a square ln Lhe sLeep base of Lhe mounLaln and seL up Lwo uprlghLs and Lop
Lhem wlLh Lwo [olsLs 1hen you sLreLch a greaL sheeL of coLLon domesLlc from Lhe polnL where Lhe
[olsLs [oln Lhe hlllslde down over Lhe [olsLs Lo Lhe ground Lhls makes Lhe roof and Lhe fronL of Lhe
manslon Lhe sldes and back are Lhe dlrL walls your dlgglng has lefL A chlmney ls easlly made by
Lurnlng up one corner of Lhe roof Cllver was slLLlng alone ln Lhls dlsmal den one nlghL by a sage
brush flre wrlLlng poeLry he was very fond of dlgglng poeLry ouL of hlmself or blasLlng lL ouL when
lL came hard Pe heard an anlmals fooLsLeps close Lo Lhe roof a sLone or Lwo and some dlrL came
Lhrough and fell by hlm Pe grew uneasy and sald Pl! clear ouL from Lhere canL you! from
Llme Lo Llme 8uL by and by he fell asleep where he saL and preLLy soon a mule fell down Lhe
chlmney! 1he flre flew ln every dlrecLlon and Cllver wenL over backwards AbouL


287


Len nlghLs afLer LhaL he recovered confldence enough Lo go Lo wrlLlng poeLry agaln Agaln he dozed
off Lo sleep and agaln a mule fell down Lhe chlmney 1hls Llme abouL half of LhaL slde of Lhe house
came ln wlLh Lhe mule SLruggllng Lo geL up Lhe mule klcked Lhe candle ouL and smashed mosL of
Lhe klLchen furnlLure and ralsed conslderable dusL 1hese vlolenL awakenlngs musL have been
annoylng Lo Cllver buL he never complalned Pe moved Lo a manslon on Lhe opposlLe slde of Lhe
canon because he had noLlced Lhe mules dld noL go Lhere Cne nlghL abouL elghL oclock he was
endeavorlng Lo flnlsh hls poem when a sLone rolled ln Lhen a hoof appeared below Lhe canvas
Lhen parL of a cow Lhe afLer parL Pe leaned back ln dread and shouLed Pooy! hooy! geL ouL of
Lhls! and Lhe cow sLruggled manfully losL ground sLeadlly dlrL and dusL sLreamed down and
before Cllver could geL well away Lhe enLlre cow crashed Lhrough on Lo Lhe Lable and made a
shapeless wreck of every Lhlng!


1hen for Lhe flrsL Llme ln hls llfe l Lhlnk Cllver complalned Pe sald

1hls Lhlng ls growlng monoLonous!

1hen he reslgned hls [udgeshlp and lefL PumboldL counLy 8uLchered Lo make a 8oman holyday
has grown monoLonous Lo me

ln Lhls connecLlon l wlsh Lo say one word abouL Mlchael Angelo 8uonaroLLl l used Lo worshlp Lhe
mlghLy genlus of Mlchael Angelo LhaL man who was greaL ln poeLry palnLlng sculpLure
archlLecLure greaL ln every Lhlng he underLook 8uL l do noL wanL Mlchael Angelo for breakfasL
for luncheon for dlnner for Lea for supper for beLween meals l llke a change occaslonally ln
Cenoa he deslgned every Lhlng ln Mllan he or hls puplls deslgned every Lhlng he deslgned Lhe Lake
of Como ln adua verona venlce 8ologna who dld we ever hear of from guldes buL Mlchael
Angelo? ln llorence he palnLed every Lhlng deslgned every Lhlng nearly and whaL he dld noL
deslgn he used Lo slL on a favorlLe sLone and look aL and Lhey showed us Lhe sLone ln lsa he
deslgned every Lhlng buL Lhe old shoLLower and Lhey would have aLLrlbuLed


288


LhaL Lo hlm lf lL had noL been so awfully ouL of Lhe perpendlcular Pe deslgned Lhe plers of Leghorn
and Lhe cusLom house regulaLlons of ClvlLa vecchla 8uL here here lL ls frlghLful Pe deslgned SL
eLers he deslgned Lhe ope he deslgned Lhe anLheon Lhe unlform of Lhe opes soldlers Lhe
1lber Lhe vaLlcan Lhe Collseum Lhe CaplLol Lhe 1arpelan 8ock Lhe 8arberlnl alace SL !ohn
LaLeran Lhe Campagna Lhe Applan Way Lhe Seven Pllls Lhe 8aLhs of Caracalla Lhe Claudlan
AqueducL Lhe Cloaca Maxlma Lhe eLernal bore deslgned Lhe LLernal ClLy and unless all men and
books do lle he palnLed every Lhlng ln lL! uan sald Lhe oLher day Lo Lhe gulde Lnough enough
enough! Say no more! Lump Lhe whole Lhlng! say LhaL Lhe CreaLor made lLaly from deslgns by
Mlchael Angelo!


l never felL so fervenLly Lhankful so sooLhed so Lranqull so fllled wlLh a blessed peace as l dld
yesLerday when l learned LhaL Mlchael Angelo was dead

8uL we have Laken lL ouL of Lhls gulde Pe has marched us Lhrough mlles of plcLures and sculpLure
ln Lhe vasL corrldors of Lhe vaLlcan and Lhrough mlles of plcLures and sculpLure ln LwenLy oLher
palaces he has shown us Lhe greaL plcLure ln Lhe SlsLlne Chapel and frescoes enough Lo frescoe Lhe
heavens preLLy much all done by Mlchael Angelo So wlLh hlm we have played LhaL game whlch
has vanqulshed so many guldes for us lmbeclllLy and ldloLlc quesLlons 1hese creaLures never
suspecL Lhey have no ldea of a sarcasm


289



Pe shows us a flgure and says SLaLoo brunzo (8ronze sLaLue)

We look aL lL lndlfferenLly and Lhe docLor asks 8y Mlchael Angelo?

no noL know who

1hen he shows us Lhe anclenL 8oman lorum 1he docLor asks Mlchael Angelo?

A sLare from Lhe gulde no Lhousan year before he ls born

1hen an LgypLlan obellsk Agaln Mlchael Angelo?

Ch mon dleu genLeelmen! Zls ls Lwo Lhousan year before he ls born!

Pe grows so Llred of LhaL unceaslng quesLlon someLlmes LhaL he dreads Lo show us any Lhlng aL all
1he wreLch has Lrled all Lhe ways he can Lhlnk of Lo make us comprehend LhaL Mlchael Angelo ls only
responslble for Lhe creaLlon of a parL of Lhe world buL somehow he has noL succeeded yeL 8ellef for
overLasked eyes and braln from sLudy and slghLseelng ls necessary or we shall become ldloLlc sure
enough 1herefore Lhls gulde musL conLlnue Lo suffer lf he does noL en[oy lL so much Lhe worse for
hlm We do

ln Lhls place l may as well [oL down a chapLer concernlng Lhose necessary nulsances Luropean
guldes Many a man has wlshed ln hls hearL he could do wlLhouL hls gulde buL knowlng he could
noL has wlshed he could geL some amusemenL ouL of hlm as a remuneraLlon for Lhe affllcLlon of hls
socleLy We accompllshed Lhls laLLer maLLer and lf our experlence can be made useful Lo oLhers Lhey
are welcome Lo lL



290



Culdes know abouL enough Lngllsh Lo Langle every Lhlng up so LhaL a man can make nelLher head
or Lall of lL 1hey know Lhelr sLory by hearL Lhe hlsLory of every sLaLue palnLlng caLhedral or oLher
wonder Lhey show you 1hey know lL and Lell lL as a parroL would and lf you lnLerrupL and Lhrow
Lhem off Lhe Lrack Lhey have Lo go back and begln over agaln All Lhelr llves long Lhey are employed
ln showlng sLrange Lhlngs Lo forelgners and llsLenlng Lo Lhelr bursLs of admlraLlon lL ls human naLure
Lo Lake dellghL ln exclLlng admlraLlon lL ls whaL prompLs chlldren Lo say smarL Lhlngs and do
absurd ones and ln oLher ways show off when company ls presenL lL ls whaL makes gosslps Lurn
ouL ln raln and sLorm Lo go and be Lhe flrsL Lo Lell a sLarLllng blL of news 1hlnk Lhen whaL a passlon
lL becomes wlLh a gulde whose prlvllege lL ls every day Lo show Lo sLrangers wonders LhaL Lhrow
Lhem lnLo perfecL ecsLasles of admlraLlon! Pe geLs so LhaL he could noL by any posslblllLy llve ln a
soberer aLmosphere AfLer we dlscovered Lhls we never wenL lnLo ecsLacles any more we never
admlred any Lhlng we never showed any buL lmpasslble faces and sLupld lndlfference ln Lhe
presence of Lhe subllmesL wonders a gulde had Lo dlsplay We had found Lhelr weak polnL We have
made good use of lL ever slnce We have made some of Lhose people savage aL Llmes buL we have
never losL our own serenlLy

1he docLor asks Lhe quesLlons generally because he can keep hls counLenance and look more llke
an lnsplred ldloL and Lhrow more lmbeclllLy lnLo Lhe Lone of hls volce Lhan any man LhaL llves lL
comes naLural Lo hlm

1he guldes ln Cenoa are dellghLed Lo secure an Amerlcan parLy because Amerlcans so much
wonder and deal so much ln senLlmenL and emoLlon before any rellc of Columbus Cur gulde Lhere
fldgeLed abouL as lf he had swallowed a sprlng maLLress Pe was full of anlmaLlon full of
lmpaLlence Pe sald

Come wls me genLeelmen! come! l show you ze leLLer wrlLlng by ChrlsLopher Colombo! wrlLe
lL hlmself! wrlLe lL wls hls own hand! come!



291



Pe Look us Lo Lhe munlclpal palace AfLer much lmpresslve fumbllng of keys and openlng of locks
Lhe sLalned and aged documenL was spread before us 1he guldes eyes sparkled Pe danced abouL
us and Lapped Lhe parchmenL wlLh hls flnger

WhaL l Lell you genLeelmen! ls lL noL so? See! handwrlLlng ChrlsLopher Colombo! wrlLe lL
hlmself!

We looked lndlfferenL unconcerned 1he docLor examlned Lhe documenL very dellberaLely
durlng a palnful pause 1hen he sald wlLhouL any show of lnLeresL

Ah lerguson whaL whaL dld you say was Lhe name of Lhe parLy who wroLe Lhls?

ChrlsLopher Colombo! ze greaL ChrlsLopher Colombo!

AnoLher dellberaLe examlnaLlon

Ah dld he wrlLe lL hlmself or or how?

Pe wrlLe lL hlmself! ChrlsLopher Colombo! Pes own handwrlLlng wrlLe by hlmself!

1hen Lhe docLor lald Lhe documenL down and sald

Why l have seen boys ln Amerlca only fourLeen years old LhaL could wrlLe beLLer Lhan LhaL



292



8uL zls ls ze greaL ChrlsLo

l donL care who lL ls! lLs Lhe worsL wrlLlng l ever saw now you musnL Lhlnk you can lmpose on us
because we are sLrangers We are noL fools by a good deal lf you have goL any speclmens of
penmanshlp of real merlL LroL Lhem ouL! and lf you havenL drlve on!

We drove on 1he gulde was conslderably shaken up buL he made one more venLure Pe had
someLhlng whlch he LhoughL would overcome us Pe sald

Ah genLeelmen you come wls me! l show you beauLlful C magnlflcenL busL ChrlsLopher
Colombo! splendld grand magnlflcenL!

Pe broughL us before Lhe beauLlful busL for lL was beauLlful and sprang back and sLruck an
aLLlLude

Ah look genLeelmen! beauLlful grand busL ChrlsLopher Colombo! beauLlful busL beauLlful
pedesLal!

1he docLor puL up hls eyeglass procured for such occaslons

Ah whaL dld you say Lhls genLlemans name was?

ChrlsLopher Colombo! ze greaL ChrlsLopher Colombo!

ChrlsLopher Colombo Lhe greaL ChrlsLopher Colombo Well whaL dld he do?

ulscover Amerlca! dlscover Amerlca Ch ze devll!

ulscover Amerlca no LhaL sLaLemenL wlll hardly wash We are [usL from Amerlca ourselves We
heard noLhlng abouL lL ChrlsLopher Colombo pleasanL name ls ls he dead?

Ch corpo dl 8accho! Lhree hundred year!

WhaL dld he dle of?

l do noL know! l can noL Lell

Smallpox Lhlnk?

l do noL know genLeelmen! l do noL know whaL he dle of!

Measles llkely?

May be may be l do noL know l Lhlnk he dle of someLhlngs

arenLs llvlng?



293



lmposeeeble!

Ah whlch ls Lhe busL and whlch ls Lhe pedesLal?

SanLa Marla! zls ze busL! zls ze pedesLal!

Ah l see l see happy comblnaLlon very happy comblnaLlon lndeed ls ls Lhls Lhe flrsL Llme
Lhls genLleman was ever on a busL?

1haL [oke was losL on Lhe forelgner guldes can noL masLer Lhe subLleLles of Lhe Amerlcan [oke

We have made lL lnLeresLlng for Lhls 8oman gulde ?esLerday we spenL Lhree or four hours ln Lhe
vaLlcan agaln LhaL wonderful world of curloslLles We came very near expresslng lnLeresL
someLlmes even admlraLlon lL was very hard Lo keep from lL We succeeded Lhough nobody
else ever dld ln Lhe vaLlcan museums 1he gulde was bewlldered nonplussed Pe walked hls legs
off nearly hunLlng up exLraordlnary Lhlngs and exhausLed all hls lngenulLy on us buL


294


lL was a fallure we never showed any lnLeresL ln any Lhlng Pe had reserved whaL he consldered Lo
be hls greaLesL wonder Llll Lhe lasL a royal LgypLlan mummy Lhe besL preserved ln Lhe world
perhaps Pe Look us Lhere Pe felL so sure Lhls Llme LhaL some of hls old enLhuslasm came back Lo
hlm


See genLeelmen! Mummy! Mummy!

1he eyeglass came up as calmly as dellberaLely as ever

Ah lerguson whaL dld l undersLand you Lo say Lhe genLlemans name was?

name? he goL no name! Mummy! CypLlan mummy!

?es yes 8orn here?

no! CypLlan mummy!

Ah [usL so lrenchman l presume?

no! noL lrenchman noL 8oman! born ln LgypLa!

8orn ln LgypLa never heard of LgypLa before lorelgn locallLy llkely Mummy mummy Pow
calm he ls how selfpossessed ls ah ls he dead?

Ch sacre bleu been dead Lhree Lhousan year!

1he docLor Lurned on hlm savagely

Pere now whaL do you mean by such conducL as Lhls! laylng us for Chlnamen because we are
sLrangers and Lrylng Lo learn! 1rylng Lo lmpose your vlle secondhand carcasses on us! Lhunder and
llghLnlng lve a noLlon Lo Lo lf youve goL a nlce fresh corpse feLch hlm ouL! or by Ceorge well
braln you!

We make lL exceedlngly lnLeresLlng for Lhls lrenchman Powever he has pald us back parLly
wlLhouL knowlng lL Pe came Lo Lhe hoLel Lhls mornlng Lo ask lf we were up and he endeavored as
well as he could Lo descrlbe us so LhaL Lhe landlord would know whlch persons he meanL Pe
flnlshed wlLh Lhe casual remark LhaL we were lunaLlcs 1he observaLlon was so lnnocenL and so
honesL LhaL lL amounLed Lo a very good Lhlng for a gulde Lo say

1here ls one remark (already menLloned) whlch never yeL has falled Lo dlsgusL Lhese guldes We
use lL always when we can Lhlnk of noLhlng else Lo say AfLer Lhey have exhausLed


293


Lhelr enLhuslasm polnLlng ouL Lo us and pralslng Lhe beauLles of some anclenL bronze lmage or
brokenlegged sLaLue we look aL lL sLupldly and ln sllence for flve Len flfLeen mlnuLes as long as
we can hold ouL ln facL and Lhen ask

ls ls he dead?

1haL conquers Lhe serenesL of Lhem lL ls noL whaL Lhey are looklng for especlally a new gulde
Cur 8oman lerguson ls Lhe mosL paLlenL unsuspecLlng longsufferlng sub[ecL we have had yeL We
shall be sorry Lo parL wlLh hlm We have en[oyed hls socleLy very much We LrusL he has en[oyed
ours buL we are harassed wlLh doubLs

We have been ln Lhe caLacombs lL was llke golng down lnLo a very deep cellar only lL was a cellar
whlch had no end Lo lL 1he narrow passages are roughly hewn ln Lhe rock and on each hand as you
pass along Lhe hollowed shelves are carved ouL from Lhree Lo fourLeen deep each held a corpse
once 1here are names and ChrlsLlan symbols and prayers or senLences expresslve of ChrlsLlan
hopes carved upon nearly every sarcophagus 1he daLes belong away back ln Lhe dawn of Lhe
ChrlsLlan era of course Pere ln Lhese holes ln Lhe ground Lhe flrsL ChrlsLlans someLlmes burrowed
Lo escape persecuLlon 1hey crawled ouL aL nlghL Lo geL food buL remalned under cover ln Lhe day
Llme 1he prlesL Lold us LhaL SL SebasLlan llved under ground for some Llme whlle he was belng
hunLed he wenL ouL one day and Lhe soldlery dlscovered and shoL hlm Lo deaLh wlLh arrows llve or
slx of Lhe early opes Lhose who relgned abouL slxLeen hundred years ago held Lhelr papal
courLs and advlsed wlLh Lhelr clergy ln Lhe bowels of Lhe earLh uurlng sevenLeen years from A u
233 Lo A u 232 Lhe opes dld noL appear above ground lour were ralsed Lo Lhe greaL offlce
durlng LhaL perlod lour years aplece or LhereabouLs lL ls very suggesLlve of Lhe unhealLhlness of
underground graveyards as places of resldence Cne ope afLerward spenL hls enLlre ponLlflcaLe ln
Lhe caLacombs elghL years AnoLher was dlscovered ln Lhem and murdered ln Lhe eplscopal chalr
1here was no saLlsfacLlon


296


ln belng a ope ln Lhose days 1here were Loo many annoyances 1here are one hundred and slxLy
caLacombs under 8ome each wlLh lLs maze of narrow passages crosslng and recrosslng each oLher
and each passage walled Lo Lhe Lop wlLh scooped graves lLs enLlre lengLh A careful esLlmaLe makes
Lhe lengLh of Lhe passages of all Lhe caLacombs comblned fooL up nlne hundred mlles and Lhelr
graves number seven mllllons We dld noL go Lhrough all Lhe passages of all Lhe caLacombs We were
very anxlous Lo do lL and made Lhe necessary arrangemenLs buL our Loo llmlLed Llme obllged us Lo
glve up Lhe ldea So we only groped Lhrough Lhe dlsmal labyrlnLh of SL CalllxLus under Lhe Church of
SL SebasLlan ln Lhe varlous caLacombs are small chapels rudely hewn ln Lhe sLones and here Lhe
early ChrlsLlans ofLen held Lhelr rellglous servlces by dlm ghosLly llghLs 1hlnk of mass and a sermon
away down ln Lhose Langled caverns under ground!


ln Lhe caLacombs were burled SL Cecllla SL Agnes and several oLher of Lhe mosL celebraLed of Lhe
salnLs ln Lhe caLacomb of SL CalllxLus SL 8rldgeL used Lo remaln long hours ln holy conLemplaLlon
and SL Charles 8orromeo was wonL Lo spend whole nlghLs ln prayer Lhere lL was also Lhe scene of a
very marvelous Lhlng


Pere Lhe hearL of SL hlllp nerl was so lnflamed wlLh dlvlne love as Lo bursL hls rlbs

l flnd LhaL grave sLaLemenL ln a book publlshed ln new ?ork ln 1808 and wrlLLen by 8ev Wllllam
P nellgan LLu M A 1rlnlLy College uublln Member of Lhe Archaeologlcal SocleLy of CreaL
8rlLaln 1herefore l belleve lL CLherwlse l could noL under oLher clrcumsLances l should have felL
a curloslLy Lo know whaL hlllp had for dlnner

1hls auLhor puLs my credullLy on lLs meLLle every now and Lhen Pe Lells of one SL !oseph
CalasancLlus whose house ln 8ome he vlslLed he vlslLed only Lhe house Lhe prlesL has been dead
Lwo hundred years Pe says Lhe vlrgln Mary appeared Lo Lhls salnL 1hen he conLlnues


297





Pls Longue and hls hearL whlch were found afLer nearly a cenLury Lo be whole when Lhe body was
dlslnLerred before hls canonlzaLlon are sLlll preserved ln a glass case and afLer Lwo cenLurles Lhe
hearL ls sLlll whole When Lhe lrench Lroops came Lo 8ome and when lus vll was carrled away
prlsoner blood dropped from lL

1o read LhaL ln a book wrlLLen by a monk far back ln Lhe Mlddle Ages would surprlse no one lL
would sound naLural and proper buL when lL ls serlously sLaLed ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe nlneLeenLh
cenLury by a man of flnlshed educaLlon an LLu M A and an Archaeologlcal magnaLe lL sounds
sLrangely enough SLlll l would gladly change my unbellef for nellgans falLh and leL hlm make Lhe
condlLlons as hard as he pleased

1he old genLlemans undoubLlng unquesLlonlng slmpllclLy has a rare freshness abouL lL ln Lhese
maLLeroffacL rallroadlng and Lelegraphlng days Pear hlm concernlng Lhe church of Ara Coell


ln Lhe roof of Lhe church dlrecLly above Lhe hlgh alLar ls engraved 8eglna Coell laeLare Allelula ln
Lhe slxLh cenLury 8ome was vlslLed by a fearful pesLllence Cregory Lhe CreaL urged Lhe people Lo do
penance and a general processlon was formed lL was Lo proceed from Ara Coell Lo SL eLers As lL
passed before Lhe mole of Adrlan now Lhe CasLle of SL Angelo Lhe sound of heavenly volces was
heard slnglng (lL was LasLer morn) 8eglna Coell laeLare! allelula! qula quem merulsLl porLare
allelula! resurrexlL slcuL dlxlL allelula! 1he onLlff carrylng ln hls hands Lhe porLralL of Lhe vlrgln
(whlch ls over Lhe hlgh alLar and ls sald Lo have been palnLed by SL Luke) answered wlLh Lhe
asLonlshed people Cra pro nobls ueum allelula! AL Lhe same Llme an angel was seen Lo puL up a
sword ln a scabbard and Lhe pesLllence ceased on Lhe same day 1here are four clrcumsLances
whlch conflrm 271Lhls mlracle Lhe annual processlon whlch Lakes place ln Lhe wesLern church on
Lhe feasL of SL Mark Lhe sLaLue of SL Mlchael placed on Lhe mole of Adrlan whlch has slnce LhaL
Llme been called Lhe CasLle of SL Angelo Lhe anLlphon 8eglna Coell whlch Lhe CaLhollc church slngs
durlng paschal Llme and Lhe lnscrlpLlon ln Lhe church




271 1he lLallcs are mlne M 1
ChapLer 28
CPA1L8 xxvlll



298



l8CM Lhe sangulnary sporLs of Lhe Poly lnqulslLlon Lhe slaughLer of Lhe Collseum and Lhe dlsmal
Lombs of Lhe CaLacombs l naLurally pass Lo Lhe plcLuresque horrors of Lhe Capuchln ConvenL We
sLopped a momenL ln a small chapel ln Lhe church Lo admlre a plcLure of SL Mlchael vanqulshlng
SaLan a plcLure whlch ls so beauLlful LhaL l can noL buL Lhlnk lL belongs Lo Lhe revlled
8enalssance noLwlLhsLandlng l belleve Lhey Lold us one of Lhe anclenL old masLers palnLed lL and
Lhen we descended lnLo Lhe vasL vaulL underneaLh

Pere was a specLacle for senslLlve nerves! LvldenLly Lhe old masLers had been aL work ln Lhls place
1here were slx dlvlslons ln Lhe aparLmenL and each dlvlslon was ornamenLed wlLh a sLyle of
decoraLlon pecullar Lo lLself and Lhese decoraLlons we re ln every lnsLance formed of human
bones! 1here were shapely arches bullL wholly of Lhlgh bones Lhere were sLarLllng pyramlds bullL
wholly of grlnnlng skulls Lhere were qualnL archlLecLural sLrucLures of varlous klnds bullL of shln
bones and Lhe bones of Lhe arm on Lhe wall were elaboraLe frescoes whose curvlng vlnes were
made of knoLLed human verLebr whose dellcaLe Lendrlls were made of slnews and Lendons
whose flowers were formed of kneecaps and Loenalls Lvery lasLlng porLlon of Lhe human frame
was represenLed ln Lhese lnLrlcaLe deslgns (Lhey were by Mlchael Angelo l Lhlnk) and Lhere was a
careful flnlsh abouL Lhe work and an aLLenLlon Lo deLalls LhaL beLrayed Lhe arLlsLs love of hls labors
as well as hls schooled ablllLy l asked Lhe goodnaLured monk who accompanled us who dld Lhls?
And he sald We dld lL meanlng hlmself and hls breLhren up sLalrs l could see LhaL


299


Lhe old frlar Look a hlgh prlde ln hls curlous show We made hlm LalkaLlve by exhlblLlng an lnLeresL
we never beLrayed Lo guldes

Who were Lhese people?

We up sLalrs Monks of Lhe Capuchln order my breLhren

Pow many deparLed monks were requlred Lo upholsLer Lhese slx parlors?

1hese are Lhe bones of four Lhousand

lL Look a long Llme Lo geL enough?

Many many cenLurles


300




1helr dlfferenL parLs are well separaLed skulls ln one room legs ln anoLher rlbs ln anoLher
Lhere would be sLlrrlng Llmes here for a whlle lf Lhe lasL Lrump should blow Some of Lhe breLhren
mlghL geL hold of Lhe wrong leg ln Lhe confuslon and Lhe wrong skull and flnd Lhemselves llmplng
and looklng Lhrough eyes LhaL were wlder aparL or closer LogeLher Lhan Lhey were used Lo ?ou can
noL Lell any of Lhese parLles aparL l suppose?

Ch yes l know many of Lhem

Pe puL hls flnger on a skull 1hls was 8roLher Anselmo dead Lhree hundred years a good man

Pe Louched anoLher 1hls was 8roLher Alexander dead Lwo hundred and elghLy years 1hls was
8roLher Carlo dead abouL as long

1hen he Look a skull and held lL ln hls hand and looked reflecLlvely upon lL afLer Lhe manner of Lhe
gravedlgger when he dlscourses of ?orlck

1hls he sald was 8roLher 1homas Pe was a young prlnce Lhe sclon of a proud house LhaL
Lraced lLs llneage back Lo Lhe grand old days of 8ome well nlgh Lwo Lhousand years ago Pe loved
beneaLh hls esLaLe Pls famlly persecuLed hlm persecuLed Lhe glrl as well 1hey drove her from
8ome he followed he soughL her far and wlde he found no Lrace of her Pe came back and offered
hls broken hearL aL our alLar and hls weary llfe Lo Lhe servlce of Cod 8uL look you ShorLly hls faLher
dled and llkewlse hls moLher 1he glrl reLurned re[olclng She soughL every where for hlm whose
eyes had used Lo look Lenderly lnLo hers ouL of Lhls poor skull buL she could noL flnd hlm AL lasL ln
Lhls coarse garb we wear she recognlzed hlm ln Lhe sLreeL Pe knew her lL was Loo laLe Pe fell
where he sLood 1hey Look hlm up and broughL hlm here Pe never spoke afLerward WlLhln Lhe
week he dled ?ou can see Lhe color of hls halr faded somewhaL by Lhls Lhln shred LhaL cllngs
sLlll Lo Lhe Lemple 1hls Laklng up a Lhlgh bone was hls 1he velns of Lhls leaf ln Lhe decoraLlons
over your head were hls flnger[olnLs a hundred and flfLy years ago


301



1hls buslnessllke way of lllusLraLlng a Louchlng sLory of Lhe hearL by laylng Lhe several fragmenLs of
Lhe lover before us and namlng Lhem was as groLesque a performance and as ghasLly as any l ever
wlLnessed l hardly knew wheLher Lo smlle or shudder 1here are nerves and muscles ln our frames
whose funcLlons and whose meLhods of worklng lL seems a sorL of sacrllege Lo descrlbe by cold
physlologlcal names and surglcal LechnlcallLles and Lhe monks Lalk suggesLed Lo me someLhlng of
Lhls klnd lancy a surgeon wlLh hls nlppers llfLlng Lendons muscles and such Lhlngs lnLo vlew ouL of
Lhe complex machlnery of a corpse and observlng now Lhls llLLle nerve qulvers Lhe vlbraLlon ls
lmparLed Lo Lhls muscle from here lL ls passed Lo Lhls flbrous subsLance here lLs lngredlenLs are
separaLed by Lhe chemlcal acLlon of Lhe blood one parL goes Lo Lhe hearL and Lhrllls lL wlLh whaL ls
popularly Lermed emoLlon anoLher parL follows Lhls nerve Lo Lhe braln and communlcaLes
lnLelllgence of a sLarLllng characLer Lhe Lhlrd parL glldes along Lhls passage and Louches Lhe sprlng
connecLed wlLh Lhe fluld recepLacles LhaL lle ln Lhe rear of Lhe eye 1hus by Lhls slmple and beauLlful
process Lhe parLy ls lnformed LhaL hls moLher ls dead and he weeps Porrlble!

l asked Lhe monk lf all Lhe breLhren up sLalrs expecLed Lo be puL ln Lhls place when Lhey dled Pe
answered quleLly

We musL all lle here aL lasL

See whaL one can accusLom hlmself Lo 1he reflecLlon LhaL he musL some day be Laken aparL llke
an englne or a clock or llke a house whose owner ls gone and worked up lnLo arches and pyramlds
and hldeous frescoes dld noL dlsLress Lhls monk ln Lhe leasL l LhoughL he even looked as lf he were
Lhlnklng wlLh complacenL vanlLy LhaL hls own skull would look well on Lop of Lhe heap and hls own
rlbs add a charm Lo Lhe frescoes whlch posslbly Lhey lacked aL presenL

Pere and Lhere ln ornamenLal alcoves sLreLched upon beds of bones lay dead and drledup
monks wlLh lank frames dressed ln Lhe black robes one sees ordlnarlly upon prlesLs We examlned
one closely 1he sklnny hands were clasped upon Lhe breasL Lwo lusLreless LufLs of halr sLuck Lo Lhe
skull


302


Lhe skln was brown and sunken lL sLreLched LlghLly over Lhe cheek bones and made Lhem sLand ouL
sharply Lhe crlsp dead eyes were deep ln Lhe sockeLs Lhe nosLrlls were palnfully promlnenL Lhe end
of Lhe nose belng gone Lhe llps had shrlveled away from Lhe yellow LeeLh and broughL down Lo us
Lhrough Lhe clrcllng years and peLrlfled Lhere was a welrd laugh a full cenLury old!


lL was Lhe [olllesL laugh buL yeL Lhe mosL dreadful LhaL one can lmaglne Surely l LhoughL lL musL
have been a mosL exLraordlnary [oke Lhls veLeran produced wlLh hls laLesL breaLh LhaL he has noL
goL done laughlng aL lL yeL AL Lhls momenL l saw LhaL Lhe old lnsLlncL was sLrong upon Lhe boys and
l sald we had beLLer hurry Lo SL eLers 1hey were Lrylng Lo keep from asklng ls ls he dead?

lL makes me dlzzy Lo Lhlnk of Lhe vaLlcan of lLs wllderness of sLaLues palnLlngs and curloslLles of
every descrlpLlon and every age 1he old masLers (especlally ln sculpLure) falrly swarm Lhere l
can noL wrlLe abouL Lhe vaLlcan l Lhlnk l shall never remember any Lhlng l saw Lhere dlsLlncLly buL
Lhe mummles and Lhe 1ransflguraLlon by 8aphael and some oLher Lhlngs lL ls noL necessary Lo
menLlon now l shall remember Lhe 1ransflguraLlon parLly because lL was placed ln a room almosL by
lLs elf parLly because lL ls acknowledged by


303


all Lo be Lhe flrsL oll palnLlng ln Lhe world and parLly because lL was wonderfully beauLlful 1he
colors are fresh and rlch Lhe expresslon l am Lold ls flne Lhe feellng ls llvely Lhe Lone ls good
Lhe depLh ls profound and Lhe wldLh ls abouL four and a half feeL l should [udge lL ls a plcLure
LhaL really holds ones aLLenLlon lLs beauLy ls fasclnaLlng lL ls flne enough Lo be a 8enalssance A
remark l made a whlle ago suggesLs a LhoughL and a hope ls lL noL posslble LhaL Lhe reason l flnd
such charms ln Lhls plcLure ls because lL ls ouL of Lhe crazy chaos of Lhe gallerles? lf some of Lhe
oLhers were seL aparL mlghL noL Lhey be beauLlful? lf Lhls were seL ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe LempesL of
plcLures one flnds ln Lhe vasL gallerles of Lhe 8oman palaces would l Lhlnk lL so handsome? lf up Lo
Lhls Llme l had seen only one old masLer ln each palace lnsLead of acres and acres of walls and
celllngs falrly papered wlLh Lhem mlghL l noL have a more clvlllzed oplnlon of Lhe old masLer s Lhan l
have now? l Lhlnk so When l was a schoolboy and was Lo have a new knlfe l could noL make up my
mlnd as Lo whlch was Lhe preLLlesL ln Lhe showcase and l dld noL Lhlnk any of Lhem were
parLlcularly preLLy and so l chose wlLh a heavy hearL 8uL when l looked aL my purchase aL home
where no gllLLerlng blades came lnLo compeLlLlon wlLh lL l was asLonlshed Lo see how handsome lL
was 1o Lhls day my new haLs look beLLer ouL of Lhe shop Lhan Lhey dld ln lL wlLh oLher new haLs lL
beglns Lo dawn upon me now LhaL posslbly whaL l have been Laklng for unlform ugllness ln Lhe
gallerles may be unlform beauLy afLer all l honesLly hope lL ls Lo oLhers buL cerLalnly lL ls noL Lo me
erhaps Lhe reason l used Lo en[oy golng Lo Lhe Academy


304


of llne ArLs ln new ?ork was because Lhere were buL a few hundred palnLlngs ln lL and lL dld noL
surfelL me Lo go Lhrough Lhe llsL l suppose Lhe Academy was bacon and beans ln Lhe lorLyMlle
ueserL and a Luropean gallery ls a sLaLe dlnner of LhlrLeen courses Cne leaves no slgn afLer hlm of
Lhe one dlsh buL Lhe LhlrLeen frlghLen away hls appeLlLe and glve hlm no saLlsfacLlon


1here ls one Lhlng l am cerLaln of Lhough WlLh all Lhe Mlchael Angelos Lhe 8aphaels Lhe Culdos
and Lhe oLher old masLers Lhe subllme hlsLory of 8ome remalns unpalnLed! 1hey palnLed vlrglns
enough and popes enough and salnLly scarecrows enough Lo people aradlse almosL and Lhese
Lhlngs are all Lhey dld palnL nero flddllng oer burnlng 8ome Lhe assasslnaLlon of Csar Lhe
sLlrrlng specLacle of a hundred Lhousand people bendlng forward wlLh rapL lnLeresL ln Lhe collseum
Lo see Lwo sklllful gladlaLors hacklng away each oLhers llves a Llger sprlnglng upon a kneellng marLyr
Lhese and a Lhousand oLher maLLers whlch we read of wlLh a llvlng lnLeresL musL be soughL for
only ln books noL among Lhe rubblsh lefL by Lhe old masLers who are no more l have Lhe
saLlsfacLlon of lnformlng Lhe publlc

1hey dld palnL and Lhey dld carve ln marble one hlsLorlcal scene and one only (of any greaL
hlsLorlcal consequence) And whaL was lL and why dld Lhey choose lL parLlcularly? lL was Lhe 8ape of
Lhe Sablnes and Lhey chose lL for Lhe legs and busLs

l llke Lo look aL sLaLues however and l llke Lo look aL plcLures also even of monks looklng up ln
sacred ecsLacy and monks looklng down ln medlLaLlon and monks sklrmlshlng for


303


someLhlng Lo eaL and Lherefore l drop lll naLure Lo Lhank Lhe papal governmenL for so [ealously
guardlng and so lndusLrlously gaLherlng up Lhese Lhlngs and for permlLLlng me a sLranger and noL
an enLlrely frlendly one Lo roam aL wlll and unmolesLed among Lhem charglng me noLhlng and only
requlrlng LhaL l shall behave myself slmply as well as l oughL Lo behave ln any oLher mans house l
Lhank Lhe Poly laLher rlghL hearLlly and l wlsh hlm long llfe and plenLy of happlness

1he opes have long been Lhe paLrons and preservers of arL [usL as our new pracLlcal 8epubllc ls
Lhe encourager and upholder of mechanlcs ln Lhelr vaLlcan ls sLored up all LhaL ls curlous and
beauLlful ln arL ln our aLenL Cfflce ls hoarded all LhaL ls curlous or useful ln mechanlcs When a man
lnvenLs a new sLyle of horsecollar or dlscovers a new and superlor meLhod of Lelegraphlng our
governmenL lssues a paLenL Lo hlm LhaL ls worLh a forLune when a man dlgs up an anclenL sLaLue ln
Lhe Campagna Lhe ope glves hlm a forLune ln gold coln We can make someLhlng of a guess aL a
mans characLer by Lhe sLyle of nose he carrles on hls face 1he vaLlcan and Lhe aLenL Cfflce are
governmenLal noses and Lhey bear a deal of characLer abouL Lhem

1he gulde showed us a colossal sLaLue of !uplLer ln Lhe vaLlcan whlch he sald looked so damaged
and rusLy so llke Lhe Cod of Lhe vagabonds because lL had buL recenLly been dug up ln Lhe
Campagna Pe asked how much we supposed Lhls !uplLer was worLh? l replled wlLh lnLelllgenL
prompLness LhaL he was probably worLh abouL four dollars may be four and a half A hundred
Lhousand dollars! lerguson sald lerguson sald furLher LhaL Lhe ope permlLs no anclenL work of
Lhls klnd Lo leave hls domlnlons Pe appolnLs a commlsslon Lo examlne dlscoverles llke Lhls and
reporL upon Lhe value Lhen Lhe ope pays Lhe dlscoverer onehalf of LhaL assessed value and Lakes
Lhe sLaLue Pe sald Lhls !uplLer was dug from a fleld whlch had [usL been boughL for LhlrLyslx
Lhousand dollars so Lhe flrsL crop was a good one for Lhe new farmer l do noL know wheLher
lerguson always Lells Lhe LruLh or noL buL l suppose he does l know LhaL an exorblLanL exporL duLy
ls


306


exacLed upon all plcLures palnLed by Lhe old masLers ln order Lo dlscourage Lhe sale of Lhose ln Lhe
prlvaLe collecLlons l am saLlsfled also LhaL genulne old masLers hardly exlsL aL all ln Amerlca
because Lhe cheapesL and mosL lnslgnlflcanL of Lhem are valued aL Lhe prlce of a flne farm l
proposed Lo buy a small Lrlfle of a 8aphael myself buL Lhe prlce of lL was elghLy Lhousand dollars
Lhe exporL duLy would have made lL conslderably over a hundred and so l sLudled on lL awhlle and
concluded noL Lo Lake lL


l wlsh here Lo menLlon an lnscrlpLlon l have seen before l forgeL lL

Clory Lo Cod ln Lhe hlghesL peace on earLh 1C MLn Cl CCCu WlLL! lL ls noL good scrlpLure buL
lL ls sound CaLhollc and human naLure

1hls ls ln leLLers of gold around Lhe apsls of a mosalc group aL Lhe slde of Lhe scala sanLa church of
SL !ohn LaLeran Lhe MoLher and MlsLress of all Lhe CaLhollc churches of Lhe world 1he group
represenLs Lhe Savlour SL eLer ope Leo SL SllvesLer ConsLanLlne and Charlemagne eLer ls
glvlng Lhe palllum Lo Lhe ope and a sLandard Lo Charlemagne 1he Savlour ls glvlng Lhe keys Lo SL
SllvesLer and a sLandard Lo ConsLanLlne no prayer ls offered Lo Lhe Savlour who seems Lo be of
llLLle lmporLance any where ln 8ome buL an lnscrlpLlon below says 8lessed eLer glve llfe Lo ope
Leo and vlcLory Lo klng Charles lL does noL say lnLercede for us Lhrough Lhe Savlour wlLh Lhe
laLher for Lhls boon buL 8lessed eLer glve lL us

ln all serlousness wlLhouL meanlng Lo be frlvolous wlLhouL meanlng Lo be lrreverenL and more
Lhan all wlLhouL meanlng Lo be blasphemous l sLaLe as my slmple deducLlon from Lhe Lhlngs l
have seen and Lhe Lhlngs l have heard LhaL Lhe Poly ersonages rank Lhus ln 8ome

llrsL 1he MoLher of Cod oLherwlse Lhe vlrgln Mary

Second 1he uelLy

1hlrd eLer

lourLh Some Lwelve or flfLeen canonlzed opes and marLyrs

llfLh !esus ChrlsL Lhe Savlour (buL always as an lnfanL ln arms)


307



l may be wrong ln Lhls my [udgmenL errs ofLen [usL as ls Lhe case wlLh oLher mens buL lL ls my
[udgmenL be lL good or bad

!usL here l wlll menLlon someLhlng LhaL seems curlous Lo me 1here are no ChrlsLs Churches ln
8ome and no Churches of Lhe Poly ChosL LhaL l can dlscover 1here are some four hundred
churches buL abouL a fourLh of Lhem seem Lo be named for L he Madonna and SL eLer 1here are
so many named for Mary LhaL Lhey have Lo be dlsLlngulshed by all sorLs of afflxes lf l undersLand Lhe
maLLer rlghLly 1hen we have churches of SL Louls SL AugusLlne SL Agnes SL CallxLus SL Lorenzo
ln Luclna SL Lorenzo ln uamaso SL Cecllla SL ALhanaslus SL hlllp nerl SL CaLherlne SL
uomlnlco and a mulLlLude of lesser salnLs whose names are noL famlllar ln Lhe world and away
down clear ouL of Lhe llsL of Lhe churches comes a couple of hosplLals one of Lhem ls named for Lhe
Savlour and Lhe oLher for Lhe Poly ChosL!

uay afLer day and nlghL afLer nlghL we have wandered among Lhe crumbllng wonders of 8ome day
afLer day and nlghL afLer nlghL we have fed upon Lhe dusL and decay of flveandLwenLy cenLurles
have brooded over Lhem by day and dreampL of Lhem by nlghL Llll someLlmes we seemed molderlng
away ourselves and growlng defaced and cornerless and llable aL any momenL Lo fall a prey Lo
some anLlquary and be paLched ln Lhe legs and resLored wlLh an unseemly nose and labeled
wrong and daLed wrong and seL up ln Lhe vaLlcan for poeLs Lo drlvel abouL and vandals Lo scrlbble
Lhelr names on forever and forevermore

8uL Lhe suresL way Lo sLop wrlLlng abouL 8ome ls Lo sLop l wlshed Lo wrlLe a real guldebook
chapLer on Lhls fasclnaLlng clLy buL l could noL do lL because l have felL all Lhe Llme llke a boy ln a
candyshop Lhere was every Lhlng Lo choose from and yeL no cholce l have drlfLed along
hopelessly for a hundred pages of manuscrlpL wlLhouL knowlng where Lo commence l wlll noL
commence aL all Cur passporLs have been examlned We wlll go Lo naples
ChapLer 29
CPA1L8 xxlx



308



1PL shlp ls lylng here ln Lhe harbor of naples quaranLlned She has been here several days and
wlll remaln several more We LhaL came by rall from 8ome have escaped Lhls mlsforLune Cf course
no one ls allowed Lo go on board Lhe shlp or come ashore from her She ls a prlson now 1he
passengers probably spend Lhe long blazlng days looklng ouL from under Lhe awnlngs aL vesuvlus
and Lhe beauLlful clLy and ln swearlng 1hlnk of Len days of Lhls sorL of pasLlme! We go ouL every
day ln a boaL and requesL Lhem Lo come ashore lL sooLhes Lhem We lle Len sLeps from Lhe shlp and
Lell Lhem how splendld Lhe clLy ls and how much beLLer Lhe hoLel fare ls here Lhan any where else ln
Lurope and how cool lL ls and whaL frozen conLlnenLs of lce cream Lhere are and whaL a Llme we
are havlng cavorLlng abouL Lhe counLry and salllng Lo Lhe lslands ln Lhe 8ay 1hls Lranqulllzes Lhem


ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS


l shall remember our Lrlp Lo vesuvlus for many a day parLly because of lLs slghLseelng
experlences buL chlefly on accounL of Lhe faLlgue of Lhe [ourney 1wo or Lhree of us had been
resLlng ourselves among Lhe Lranqull and beauLlful scenery of Lhe lsland of lschla elghLeen mlles ouL
ln Lhe harbor for Lwo days we called lL resLlng buL l do noL remember now whaL Lhe resLlng
conslsLed of for when we goL back Lo naples we had noL slepL for forLyelghL hours We were [usL
abouL Lo go Lo bed early ln Lhe evenlng and caLch up on


309


some of Lhe sleep we had losL when we heard of Lhls vesuvlus expedlLlon 1here was Lo be elghL of
us ln Lhe parLy and we were Lo leave naples aL mldnlghL We lald ln some provlslons for Lhe Lrlp
engaged carrlages Lo Lake us Lo AnnunclaLlon and Lhen moved abouL Lhe clLy Lo keep awake Llll
Lwelve We goL away puncLually and ln Lhe course of an hour and a half arrlved aL Lhe Lown of
AnnunclaLlon AnnunclaLlon ls Lhe very lasL place under Lhe sun ln oLher Lowns ln lLaly Lhe people lle
around quleLly and walL for you Lo ask Lhem a quesLlon or do some overL acL LhaL can be charged for
buL ln AnnunclaLlon Lhey have losL even LhaL fragmenL of dellcacy Lhey selze a ladys shawl from a
chalr and hand lL Lo her and charge a penny Lhey open a carrlage door and charge for lL shuL lL
when you geL ouL and charge for lL Lhey help you Lo Lake off a dusLer Lwo cenLs brush your
cloLhes and make Lhem worse Lhan Lhey were before Lwo cenLs smlle upon you Lwo cenLs bow
wlLh a llcksplLLle smlrk haL ln hand Lwo cenLs Lhey volunLeer all lnformaLlon such as LhaL Lhe
mules wlll arrlve presenLly Lwo cenLs warm day slr Lwo cenLs Lake you four hours Lo make
Lhe ascenL Lwo cenLs And so Lhey go 1hey crowd you lnfesL you swarm abouL you and sweaL
and smell offenslvely and look sneaklng and mean and obsequlous 1here ls no offlce Loo degradlng
for Lhem Lo perform for money l have had no opporLunlLy


310


Lo flnd ouL any Lhlng abouL Lhe upper classes by my own observaLlon buL from whaL l hear sald
abouL Lhem l [udge LhaL whaL Lhey lack ln one or Lwo of Lhe bad LralLs Lhe canallle have Lhey make
up ln one or Lwo oLhers LhaL are worse Pow Lhe people beg! many of Lhem very well dressed Loo


l sald l knew noLhlng agalnsL Lhe upper classes by personal observaLlon l musL recall lL! l had
forgoLLen WhaL l saw Lhelr bravesL and Lhelr falresL do lasL nlghL Lhe lowesL mulLlLude LhaL could be
scraped up ouL of Lhe purlleus of ChrlsLendom would blush Lo do l Lhlnk 1hey assembled by
hundreds and even Lhousands ln Lhe greaL 1heaLre of San Carlo Lo do whaL? Why slmply Lo
make fun of an old woman Lo derlde Lo hlss Lo [eer aL an acLress Lhey once worshlpped buL
whose beauLy ls faded now and whose volce has losL lLs former rlchness Lvery body spoke of Lhe
rare sporL Lhere was Lo be 1hey sald Lhe LheaLre would be crammed because lrezzollnl was golng
Lo slng lL was sald she could noL slng well now buL Lhen Lhe people llked Lo see her anyhow And
so we wenL And every Llme Lhe woman sang Lhey hlssed and laughed Lhe whole magnlflcenL
house and as soon as she lefL Lhe sLage Lhey called her on agaln wlLh applause Cnce or Lwlce she
was encored flve and slx Llmes ln successlon and recelved wlLh hlsses when she appeared and
dlscharged wlLh hlsses and laughLer when she had flnlshed Lhen lnsLanLly encored and lnsulLed
agaln! And how Lhe hlghborn knaves en[oyed lL! WhlLekldded genLlemen and ladles laughed Llll Lhe
Lears came and clapped Lhelr hands ln very ecsLacy when LhaL unhappy old woman would come
meekly ouL for Lhe slxLh Llme wlLh uncomplalnlng paLlence Lo meeL a sLorm of hlsses! lL was Lhe
cruelesL exhlblLlon Lhe mosL wanLon Lhe mosL unfeellng 1he slnger would have conquered an
audlence of Amerlcan rowdles by her brave unfllnchlng LranqullllLy (for she answered encore afLer
encore and smlled and bowed pleasanLly and sang Lhe besL she posslbly could and wenL bowlng
off Lhrough all Lhe [eers and hlsses wlLhouL ever loslng counLenance or Lemper) and surely ln any
oLher land Lhan lLaly her sex and her helplessness musL have been an ample proLecLlon


311


Lo her she could have needed no oLher 1hlnk whaL a mulLlLude of small souls were crowded lnLo
LhaL LheaLre lasL nlghL lf Lhe manager could have fllled hls LheaLre wlLh neapollLan souls alone
wlLhouL Lhe bodles he could noL have cleared less Lhan nlneLy mllllons of dollars WhaL LralLs of
characLer musL a man have Lo enable hlm Lo help Lhree Lhousand mlscreanLs Lo hlss and [eer and
laugh aL one frlendless old woman and shamefully humlllaLe her? Pe musL have all Lhe vlle mean
LralLs Lhere are My observaLlon persuades me (l do noL llke Lo venLure beyond my own personal
observaLlon) LhaL Lhe upper classes of naples possess Lhose LralLs of characLer CLherwlse Lhey may
be very good people l can noL say


ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

ln Lhls clLy of naples Lhey belleve ln and supporL one of Lhe wreLchedesL of all Lhe rellglous
lmposLures one can flnd ln lLaly Lhe mlraculous llquefacLlon of Lhe blood of SL !anuarlus 1wlce a
year Lhe prlesLs assemble all Lhe people aL Lhe CaLhedral and geL ouL Lhls vlal of cloLLed blood and
leL Lhem see lL slowly dlssolve and become llquld and every day for elghL days Lhls dlsmal farce ls
repeaLed whlle Lhe prlesLs go among Lhe crowd and collecL money for Lhe exhlblLlon 1he flrsL day
Lhe blood llquefles ln forLyseven mlnuLes Lhe church ls crammed Lhen and Llme musL be allowed
Lhe collecLors Lo geL around afLer LhaL lL llquefles a llLLle qulcker and a llLLle qulcker every day as
Lhe houses grow smaller Llll on Lhe elghLh day wlLh only a few dozens presenL Lo see Lhe mlracle lL
llquefles ln four mlnuLes

And here also Lhey used Lo have a grand processlon of prlesLs clLlzens soldlers sallors and Lhe
hlgh dlgnlLarles of Lhe ClLy CovernmenL once a year Lo shave Lhe head of a madeup Madonna a
sLuffed and palnLed lmage llke a mllllners dummy whose halr mlraculously grew and resLored
lLself every Lwelve monLhs 1hey sLlll kepL up Lhls shavlng processlon as laLe as four or flve years ago
lL was a source of greaL proflL Lo Lhe church LhaL possessed Lhe remarkable efflgy and


312


Lhe ceremony of Lhe publlc barberlng of her was always carrled ouL wlLh Lhe greaLesL posslble eclaL
and dlsplay Lhe more Lhe beLLer because Lhe more exclLemenL Lhere was abouL lL Lhe larger Lhe
crowds lL drew and Lhe heavler Lhe revenues lL produced buL aL lasL a day came when Lhe ope
and hls servanLs were unpopular ln naples and Lhe ClLy CovernmenL sLopped Lhe Madonnas annual
show


1here we have Lwo speclmens of Lhese neapollLans Lwo of Lhe sllllesL posslble frauds whlch half
Lhe populaLlon rellglously and falLhfully belleved and Lhe oLher half elLher belleved also or else sald
noLhlng abouL and Lhus lenL Lhemselves Lo Lhe supporL of Lhe lmposLure l am very well saLlsfled Lo
Lhlnk Lhe whole populaLlon belleved ln Lhose poor cheap mlracles a people who wanL Lwo cenLs
every Llme Lhey bow Lo you and who abuse a woman are capable of lL l Lhlnk

ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

1hese neapollLans always ask four Llmes as much money as Lhey lnLend Lo Lake buL lf you glve
Lhem whaL Lhey flrsL demand Lhey feel ashamed of Lhemselves for almlng so low and lmmedlaLely
ask more When money ls Lo be pald and recelved Lhere ls always some vehemenL [awlng and
gesLlculaLlng abouL lL Cne can noL buy and pay for Lwo cenLs worLh of clams wlLhouL Lrouble and a
quarrel Cne course ln a Lwohorse carrlage cosLs a franc LhaL ls law buL Lhe hackman always
demands more on some preLence or oLher and lf he geLs lL he makes a new demand lL ls sald LhaL a
sLranger Look a onehorse carrlage for a course Larlff half a franc Pe gave Lhe man flve francs by
way of experlmenL Pe demanded more and recelved anoLher franc Agaln he demanded more and
goL a franc demanded more and lL was refused Pe grew vehemenL was agaln refused and
became nolsy 1he sLranger sald Well glve me Lhe seven francs agaln and l wlll see whaL l can do
and when he goL Lhem he handed Lhe hackman half a franc and he lmmedlaLely asked for Lwo
cenLs Lo buy a drlnk wlLh lL may be LhoughL LhaL l am pre[udlced


313


erhaps l am l would be ashamed of myself lf l were noL

ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

Well as l was saylng we goL our mules and horses afLer an hour and a half of bargalnlng wlLh Lhe
populaLlon of AnnunclaLlon and sLarLed sleeplly up Lhe mounLaln wlLh a vagranL aL each mules Lall
who preLended Lo be drlvlng Lhe bruLe along buL was really holdlng on and geLLlng hlmself dragged
up lnsLead l made slow headway aL flrsL buL l began Lo geL dlssaLlsfled aL Lhe ldea of paylng my
mlnlon flve francs Lo hold my


314


mule back by Lhe Lall and keep hlm from golng up Lhe hlll and so l dlscharged hlm l goL along fasLer
Lhen


We had one magnlflcenL plcLure of naples from a hlgh polnL on Lhe mounLaln slde We saw noLhlng
buL Lhe gas lamps of course LwoLhlrds of a clrcle sklrLlng Lhe greaL 8ay a necklace of dlamonds
gllnLlng up Lhrough Lhe darkness from Lhe remoLe dlsLance less brllllanL Lhan Lhe sLars overhead
buL more sofLly rlchly beauLlful and over all Lhe greaL clLy Lhe llghLs crossed and recrossed each
oLher ln many and many a sparkllng llne and curve And back of Lhe Lown far around and abroad
over Lhe mlles of level campagna were scaLLered rows and clrcles and clusLers of llghLs all glowlng
llke so many gems and marklng where a score of vlllages were sleeplng AbouL Lhls Llme Lhe fellow
who was hanglng on Lo Lhe Lall of Lhe horse ln fronL of me and pracLlclng all sorLs of unnecessary
cruelLy upon Lhe anlmal goL klcked some fourLeen rods and Lhls lncldenL LogeLher wlLh Lhe falry
specLacle of Lhe llghLs far ln Lhe dlsLance made me serenely happy and l was glad l sLarLed Lo
vesuvlus

ASCLn1 Cl MCun1 vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

1hls sub[ecL wlll be excellenL maLLer for a chapLer and Lomorrow or nexL day l wlll wrlLe lL
ChapLer 30
CPA1L8 xxx



313



ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

SLL naples and dle Well l do noL know LhaL one would necessarlly dle afLer merely seelng lL buL
Lo aLLempL Lo llve Lhere mlghL Lurn ouL a llLLle dlfferenLly 1o see naples as we saw lL ln Lhe early
dawn from far up on Lhe slde of vesuvlus ls Lo see a plcLure of wonderful beauLy AL LhaL dlsLance lLs
dlngy bulldlngs looked whlLe and so rank on rank of balconles wlndows and roofs Lhey plled
Lhemselves up from Lhe blue ocean Llll Lhe colossal casLle of SL Llmo Lopped Lhe grand whlLe
pyramld and gave Lhe plcLure symmeLry emphasls and compleLeness And when lLs lllles Lurned Lo
roses when lL blushed under Lhe suns flrsL klss lL was beauLlful beyond all descrlpLlon Cne
mlghL well say Lhen See naples and dle 1he frame of Lhe plcLure was charmlng lLself ln fronL
Lhe smooLh sea a vasL mosalc of many colors Lhe lofLy lslands swlmmlng ln a dreamy haze ln Lhe
dlsLance aL our end of Lhe clLy Lhe sLaLely double peak of vesuvlus and lLs sLrong black rlbs and
seams of lava sLreLchlng down Lo Lhe llmlLless level campagna a green carpeL LhaL enchanLs Lhe
eye and leads lL on and on pasL clusLers of Lrees and lsolaLed houses and snowy vlllages unLll lL
shreds ouL ln a frlnge of mlsL and general vagueness far away lL ls from Lhe PermlLage Lhere on Lhe
slde of vesuvlus LhaL one should see naples and dle

8uL do noL go wlLhln Lhe walls and look aL lL ln deLall 1haL Lakes away some of Lhe romance of Lhe
Lhlng 1he


316


people are fllLhy ln Lhelr hablLs and Lhls makes fllLhy sLreeLs and breeds dlsagreeable slghLs and
smells 1here never was a communlLy so pre[udlced agalnsL Lhe cholera as Lhese neapollLans are
8uL Lhey have good reason Lo be 1he cholera generally vanqulshes a neapollLan when lL selzes hlm
because you undersLand before Lhe docLor can dlg Lhrough Lhe dlrL and geL aL Lhe dlsease Lhe man
dles 1he upper classes Lake a seabaLh every day and are preLLy decenL


1he sLreeLs are generally abouL wlde enough for one wagon and how Lhey do swarm wlLh people!
lL ls 8roadway repeaLed ln every sLreeL ln every courL ln every alley! Such masses such Lhrongs
such mulLlLudes of hurrylng busLllng sLruggllng humanlLy! We never saw Lhe llke of lL hardly even
ln new ?ork l Lhlnk 1here are seldom any sldewalks and when Lhere are Lhey are noL ofLen wlde
enough Lo pass a man on wlLhouL caromlng on hlm So everybody walks ln Lhe sLreeL and where
Lhe sLreeL ls wlde enough carrlages are forever dashlng along Why a Lhousand people are noL run
over and crlppled every day ls a mysLery LhaL no man can solve 8uL lf Lhere ls an elghLh wonder ln
Lhe world lL musL be Lhe dwelllnghouses of naples l honesLly belleve a good ma[orlLy


317


of Lhem are a hundred feeL hlgh! And Lhe solld brlck walls are seven feeL Lhrough ?ou go up nlne
fllghLs of sLalrs before you geL Lo Lhe flrsL floor no noL nlne buL Lhere or LhereabouLs 1here ls a
llLLle blrdcage of an lron ralllng ln fronL of every wlndow clear away up up up among Lhe eLernal
clouds where Lhe roof ls and Lhere ls always somebody looklng ouL of every wlndow people of
ordlnary slze looklng ouL from Lhe flrsL floor people a shade smaller from Lhe second people LhaL
look a llLLle smaller yeL from Lhe Lhlrd and from Lhence upward Lhey grow smaller and smaller by a
regularly graduaLed dlmlnuLlon Llll Lhe folks ln Lhe LopmosL wlndows seem more llke blrds ln an
uncommonly Lall marLlnbox Lhan any Lhlng else 1he perspecLlve of one of Lhese narrow cracks of
sLreeLs wlLh lLs rows of Lall houses sLreLchlng away Llll Lhey come LogeLher ln Lhe dlsLance llke
rallway Lracks lLs cloLhesllnes crosslng over aL all alLlLudes and wavlng Lhelr bannered raggedness
over Lhe swarms of people below and Lhe whlLedressed women perched ln balcony ralllngs all Lhe
way from Lhe pavemenL up Lo Lhe heavens a perspecLlve llke LhaL ls really worLh golng lnLo
neapollLan deLalls Lo see


ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

naples wlLh lLs lmmedlaLe suburbs conLalns slx hundred and LwenLyflve Lhousand lnhablLanLs
buL l am saLlsfled lL covers no more ground Lhan an Amerlcan clLy of one hundred and flfLy Lhousand
lL reaches up lnLo Lhe alr lnflnlLely hlgher Lhan Lhree Amerlcan clLles Lhough and Lhere ls where Lhe
secreL of lL lles l wlll observe here ln passlng LhaL Lhe conLrasLs beLween opulence and poverLy and
magnlflcence and mlsery are more frequenL and more sLrlklng ln naples Lhan ln arls even Cne
musL go Lo Lhe 8ols de 8oulogne Lo see fashlonable dresslng splendld equlpages and sLunnlng
llverles and Lo Lhe laubourg SL AnLolne Lo see vlce mlsery hunger rags dlrL buL ln Lhe
Lhoroughfares of naples Lhese Lhlngs are all mlxed LogeLher naked boys of nlne years and Lhe fancy
dressed chlldren of luxury shreds and LaLLers and brllllanL


318


unlforms [ackasscarLs and sLaLecarrlages beggars rlnces and 8lshops [osLle each oLher ln every
sLreeL AL slx oclock every evenlng all naples Lurns ouL Lo drlve on Lhe 8lvlere dl Chla[a (whaLever
LhaL may mean) and for Lwo hours one may sLand Lhere and see Lhe moLllesL and Lhe worsL mlxed
processlon go by LhaL ever eyes beheld rlnces (Lhere are more rlnces Lhan pollcemen ln naples
Lhe clLy ls lnfesLed wlLh Lhem) rlnces who llve up seven fllghLs of sLalrs and donL own any
prlnclpallLles wlll keep a carrlage and go hungry and clerks mechanlcs mllllners and sLrumpeLs wlll
go wlLhouL Lhelr dlnners and squander Lhe money on a hackrlde ln Lhe Chla[a Lhe ragLag and
rubblsh of Lhe clLy sLack Lhemselves up Lo Lhe number of LwenLy or LhlrLy on a rlckeLy llLLle gocarL
hauled by a donkey noL much blgger Lhan a caL and Lhey drlve ln Lhe Chla[a uukes and bankers ln
sumpLuous carrlages and wlLh gorgeous drlvers and fooLmen Lurn ouL also and so Lhe furlous
processlon goes lor Lwo hours rank and wealLh and obscurlLy and poverLy claLLer along slde by slde
ln Lhe wlld processlon and Lhen go home serene happy covered wlLh glory!


l was looklng aL a magnlflcenL marble sLalrcase ln Lhe klngs palace Lhe oLher day whlch lL was
sald cosL flve mllllon francs and l suppose lL dld cosL half a mllllon may be l felL as lf lL musL be a
flne Lhlng Lo llve ln a counLry where Lhere was such comforL and such luxury as Lhls And Lhen l
sLepped ouL muslng and almosL walked over a vagabond who was eaLlng hls dlnner on Lhe
curbsLone a plece of bread and a bunch of grapes When l found LhaL Lhls musLang was clerklng ln
a frulL esLabllshmenL (he had Lhe esLabllshmenL along wlLh hlm ln a baskeL) aL Lwo cenLs a day and
LhaL he had no palace aL home where he llved l losL some of my enLhuslasm concernlng Lhe
happlness of llvlng ln lLaly

1hls naLurally suggesLs Lo me a LhoughL abouL wages here LleuLenanLs ln Lhe army geL abouL a
dollar a day and common soldlers a couple of cenLs l only know one clerk he geLs four dollars a
monLh rlnLers geL slx dollars and a half a monLh buL l have heard of a foreman who geLs LhlrLeen


319


1o be growlng suddenly and vlolenLly rlch as Lhls man ls naLurally makes hlm a bloaLed arlsLocraL
1he alrs he puLs on are lnsufferable


And speaklng of wages remlnds me of prlces of merchandlse ln arls you pay Lwelve dollars a
dozen for !ouvlns besL kld gloves gloves of abouL as good quallLy sell here aL Lhree or four dollars a
dozen ?ou pay flve and slx dollars aplece for flne llnen shlrLs ln arls here and ln Leghorn you pay
Lwo and a half ln Marsellles you pay forLy dollars for a flrsLclass dress coaL made by a good Lallor
buL ln Leghorn you can geL a full dress sulL for Lhe same money Pere you geL handsome buslness
sulLs aL from Len Lo LwenLy dollars and ln Leghorn you can geL an overcoaL for flfLeen dollars LhaL
would cosL you sevenLy ln new ?ork llne kld booLs are worLh elghL dollars ln Marsellles and four
dollars here Lyons velveLs rank hlgher ln Amerlca Lhan Lhose of Cenoa ?eL Lhe bulk of Lyons velveLs
you buy ln Lhe SLaLes are made ln Cenoa and lmporLed lnLo Lyons where Lhey recelve Lhe Lyons
sLamp and are Lhen exporLed Lo Amerlca ?ou can buy enough velveL ln Cenoa for LwenLyflve dollars
Lo make a flve hundred dollar cloak ln new ?ork so Lhe ladles Lell me Cf course Lhese Lhlngs brlng
me back by a naLural and easy LranslLlon Lo Lhe


320



ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

And Lhus Lhe wonderful 8lue CroLLo ls suggesLed Lo me lL ls slLuaLed on Lhe lsland of Caprl
LwenLyLwo mlles from naples We charLered a llLLle sLeamer and wenL ouL Lhere Cf course Lhe
pollce boarded us and puL us Lhrough a healLh examlnaLlon and lnqulred lnLo our pollLlcs before
Lhey would leL us land 1he alrs Lhese llLLle lnsecL CovernmenLs puL on are ln Lhe lasL degree
rldlculous 1hey even puL a pollceman on board of our boaL Lo keep an eye on us as long as we were
ln Lhe Caprl domlnlons 1hey LhoughL we wanLed Lo sLeal Lhe groLLo l suppose lL was worLh sLeallng
1he enLrance Lo Lhe cave ls four feeL hlgh and four feeL wlde and ls ln Lhe face of a lofLy
perpendlcular cllff Lhe seawall ?ou enLer ln


321


small boaLs and a LlghL squeeze lL ls Loo ?ou can noL go ln aL all when Lhe Llde ls up Cnce wlLhln
you flnd yourself ln an arched cavern abouL one hundred and slxLy feeL long one hundred and
LwenLy wlde and abouL sevenLy hlgh Pow deep lL ls no man knows lL goes down Lo Lhe boLLom of
Lhe ocean 1he waLers of Lhls placld subLerranean lake are Lhe brlghLesL lovellesL blue LhaL can be
lmaglned 1hey are as LransparenL as plaLe glass and Lhelr colorlng would shame Lhe rlchesL sky LhaL
ever benL over lLaly no LlnL could be more ravlshlng no lusLre more superb 1hrow a sLone lnLo Lhe
waLer and Lhe myrlad of Llny bubbles LhaL are creaLed flash ouL a brllllanL glare llke blue LheaLrlcal
flres ulp an oar and lLs blade Lurns Lo splendld frosLed sllver LlnLed wlLh blue LeL a man [ump ln
and lnsLanLly he ls cased ln an armor more gorgeous Lhan ever klngly Crusader wore


1hen we wenL Lo lschla buL l had already been Lo LhaL


322


lsland and Llred myself Lo deaLh resLlng a couple of days and sLudylng human vlllalny wlLh Lhe
landlord of Lhe Crande SenLlnelle for a model So we wenL Lo roclda and from Lhence Lo ozzuoll
where SL aul landed afLer he salled from Samos l landed aL preclsely Lhe same spoL where SL aul
landed and so dld uan and Lhe oLhers lL was a remarkable colncldence SL aul preached Lo Lhese
people seven days before he sLarLed Lo 8ome

neros 8aLhs Lhe rulns of 8al Lhe 1emple of Serapls Cum where Lhe Cumn Sybll lnLerpreLed
Lhe oracles Lhe Lake Agnano wlLh lLs anclenL submerged clLy sLlll vlslble far down ln lLs depLhs
Lhese and a hundred oLher polnLs of lnLeresL we examlned wlLh crlLlcal lmbeclllLy buL Lhe CroLLo of
Lhe uog clalmed our chlef aLLenLlon because we had heard and read so much abouL lL Lvery body
has wrlLLen abouL Lhe CroLLo del Cane and lLs polsonous vapors from llny down Lo SmlLh and
every LourlsL has held a dog over lLs floor by Lhe legs Lo LesL Lhe capablllLles of Lhe place 1he dog
dles ln a mlnuLe and a half a chlcken lnsLanLly As a general Lhlng sLrangers who crawl ln Lhere Lo
sleep do noL geL up unLll Lhey are called And Lhen Lhey donL elLher 1he sLranger LhaL venLures Lo
sleep Lhere Lakes a permanenL conLracL l longed Lo see Lhls groLLo l resolved Lo Lake a dog and hold
hlm myself suffocaLe hlm a llLLle and Llme hlm suffocaLe hlm some more and Lhen flnlsh hlm We
reached Lhe groLLo aL abouL Lhree ln Lhe afLernoon and proceeded aL once Lo make Lhe
experlmenLs 8uL now an lmporLanL dlfflculLy presenLed lLself We had no dog

ASCLn1 Cl vLSuvluS CCn1lnuLu

AL Lhe PermlLage we were abouL flfLeen or elghLeen hundred feeL above Lhe sea and Lhus far a
porLlon of Lhe ascenL had been preLLy abrupL lor Lhe nexL Lwo mlles Lhe road was a mlxLure
someLlmes Lhe ascenL was abrupL and someLlmes lL was noL buL one characLerlsLlc lL possessed all
Lhe Llme wlLhouL fallure wlLhouL modlflcaLlon lL was all uncompromlslngly


323


and unspeakably lnfamous lL was a rough narrow Lrall and led over an old lava flow a black
ocean whlch was Lumbled lnLo a Lhousand fanLasLlc shapes a wlld chaos of ruln desolaLlon and
barrenness a wllderness of blllowy upheavals of furlous whlrlpools of mlnlaLure mounLalns renL
asunder of gnarled and knoLLed wrlnkled and LwlsLed masses of blackness LhaL mlmlcked
branchlng rooLs greaL vlnes Lrunks of Lrees all lnLerlaced and mlngled LogeLher and all Lhese welrd
shapes all Lhls LurbulenL panorama all Lhls sLormy farsLreLchlng wasLe of blackness wlLh lLs
Lhrllllng suggesLlveness of llfe of acLlon of bolllng surglng furlous moLlon was peLrlfled! all
sLrlcken dead and cold ln Lhe lnsLanL of lLs maddesL rloLlng! feLLered paralyzed and lefL Lo glower
aL heaven ln lmpoLenL rage for evermore!


llnally we sLood ln a level narrow valley (a valley LhaL had been creaLed by Lhe Lerrlflc march of
some old Llme lrrupLlon) and on elLher hand Lowered Lhe Lwo sLeep peaks of vesuvlus 1he one we
had Lo cllmb Lhe one LhaL conLalns Lhe acLlve volcano seemed abouL elghL hundred or one
Lhousand feeL hlgh and looked almosL Loo sLralghLupanddown for any man Lo cllmb and cerLalnly
no mule could cllmb lL wlLh a man on hls back lour of Lhese naLlve plraLes wlll carry you Lo Lhe Lop
ln a sedan chalr lf you wlsh lL buL suppose Lhey were Lo sllp and leL you fall ls lL llkely LhaL you
would ever sLop rolllng? noL Lhls slde of eLernlLy perhaps We lefL Lhe mules sharpened our flnger
nalls and began Lhe ascenL l have been wrlLlng abouL so long aL LwenLy mlnuLes Lo slx ln Lhe
mornlng 1he paLh led sLralghL up a rugged sweep of loose chunks of pumlcesLone and for abouL
every Lwo sLeps forward we Look we slld back one lL was so excesslvely sLeep LhaL we had Lo sLop
every flfLy or slxLy sLeps and resL a momenL 1o see our comrades we had Lo look very nearly
sLralghL up aL Lhose above us and very nearly sLralghL down aL Lhose below We sLood on Lhe
summlL aL lasL lL had Laken an hour and flfLeen mlnuLes Lo make Lhe Lrlp

WhaL we saw Lhere was slmply a clrcular craLer a clrcular dlLch lf you please abouL Lwo
hundred feeL deep and four


324


or flve hundred feeL wlde whose lnner wall was abouL half a mlle ln clrcumference ln Lhe cenLre of
Lhe greaL clrcus rlng Lhus formed was a Lorn and ragged upheaval a hundred feeL hlgh all snowed
over wlLh a sulphur crusL of many and many a brllllanL and beauLlful color and Lhe dlLch lnclosed Lhls
llke Lhe moaL of a casLle or surrounded lL as a llLLle rlver does a llLLle lsland lf Lhe slmlle ls beLLer
1he sulphur coaLlng of LhaL lsland was gaudy ln Lhe exLreme all mlngled LogeLher ln Lhe rlchesL
confuslon were red blue brown black yellow whlLe l do noL know LhaL Lhere was a color or
shade of a color or comblnaLlon of colors unrepresenLed and when Lhe sun bursL Lhrough Lhe
mornlng mlsLs and flred Lhls LlnLed magnlflcence lL Lopped lmperlal vesuvlus llke a [eweled crown!


1he craLer lLself Lhe dlLch was noL so varlegaLed ln colorlng buL yeL ln lLs sofLness rlchness
and unpreLenLlous elegance lL was more charmlng more fasclnaLlng Lo Lhe eye 1here was noLhlng
loud abouL lLs wellbred and wellcreased look 8eauLlful? Cne could sLand and look down upon lL
for a week wlLhouL geLLlng Llred of lL lL had Lhe semblance of a pleasanL meadow whose slender
grasses and whose velveLy mosses were frosLed wlLh a shlnlng dusL and LlnLed wlLh palesL green
LhaL deepened gradually Lo Lhe darkesL hue of Lhe orange leaf and deepened yeL agaln lnLo gravesL
brown Lhen faded lnLo orange Lhen lnLo brlghLesL gold and culmlnaLed ln Lhe dellcaLe plnk of a
newblown rose Where porLlons of Lhe meadow had sunk and where oLher porLlons had been
broken up llke an lcefloe Lhe cavernous openlngs of Lhe one and Lhe ragged upLurned edges
exposed by Lhe oLher were hung wlLh a lacework of sofLLlnLed crysLals of sulphur LhaL changed
Lhelr deformlLles lnLo qualnL shapes and flgures LhaL were full of grace and beauLy

1he walls of Lhe dlLch were brllllanL wlLh yellow banks of sulphur and wlLh lava and pumlcesLone
of many colors no flre was vlslble any where buL gusLs of sulphurous sLeam lssued sllenLly and
lnvlslbly from a Lhousand llLLle cracks and flssures ln Lhe craLer and were wafLed Lo our noses wlLh
every


323


breeze 8uL so long as we kepL our nosLrlls burled ln our handkerchlefs Lhere was small danger of
suffocaLlon

Some of Lhe boys LhrusL long sllps of paper down lnLo holes and seL Lhem on flre and so achleved
Lhe glory of llghLlng Lhelr clgars by Lhe flames of vesuvlus and oLhers cooked eggs over flssures ln
Lhe rocks and were happy

1he vlew from Lhe summlL would have been superb buL for Lhe facL LhaL Lhe sun could only plerce
Lhe mlsLs aL long lnLervals 1hus Lhe gllmpses we had of Lhe grand panorama below were only flLful
and unsaLlsfacLory


1PL uLSCLn1


1he descenL of Lhe mounLaln was a labor of only four mlnuLes lnsLead of sLalklng down Lhe rugged
paLh we ascended we chose one whlch was bedded kneedeep ln loose ashes and ploughed our
way wlLh prodlglous sLrldes LhaL would almosL have shamed Lhe performance of hlm of Lhe seven
league booLs

1he vesuvlus of Loday ls a very poor affalr compared Lo Lhe mlghLy volcano of kllauea ln Lhe
Sandwlch lslands buL l am glad l vlslLed lL lL was well worLh lL

lL ls sald LhaL durlng one of Lhe grand erupLlons of vesuvlus lL dlscharged massy rocks welghlng
many Lons a Lhousand feeL lnLo Lhe alr lLs vasL [eLs of smoke and


326


sLeam ascended LhlrLy mlles Loward Lhe flrmamenL and clouds of lLs ashes were wafLed abroad and
fell upon Lhe decks of shlps seven hundred and flfLy mlles aL sea! l wlll Lake Lhe ashes aL a moderaLe
dlscounL lf any one wlll Lake Lhe LhlrLy mlles of smoke buL l do noL feel able Lo Lake a commandlng
lnLeresL ln Lhe whole sLory by myself
ChapLer 31
CPA1L8 xxxl
1PL 8u8lLu Cl1? Cl CMLll



327



1PL? pronounce lL ompaye l always had an ldea LhaL you wenL down lnLo ompell wlLh Lorches
by Lhe way of damp dark sLalrways [usL as you do ln sllver mlnes and Lraversed gloomy Lunnels
wlLh lava overhead and someLhlng on elLher hand llke dllapldaLed prlsons gouged ouL of Lhe solld
earLh LhaL falnLly resembled houses 8uL you do noLhlng Lhe klnd lully onehalf of Lhe burled clLy
perhaps ls compleLely exhumed and Lhrown open freely Lo Lhe llghL of day and Lhere sLand Lhe long
rows of solldlybullL brlck houses (roofless) [usL as Lhey sLood elghLeen hundred years ago hoL wlLh
Lhe flamlng sun and Lhere lle Lhelr floors cleanswepL and noL a brlghL fragmenL Larnlshed or
walLlng of Lhe labored mosalcs LhaL plcLured Lhem wlLh Lhe beasLs and blrds and flowers whlch we
copy ln perlshable carpeLs Loday and here are Lhe venuses and 8acchuses and Adonlses maklng
love and geLLlng drunk ln manyhued frescoes on Lhe walls of saloon and bedchamber and Lhere
are Lhe narrow sLreeLs and narrower sldewalks paved wlLh flags of good hard lava Lhe one deeply
ruLLed wlLh Lhe charloLwheels and Lhe oLher wlLh Lhe passlng feeL of Lhe ompellans of bygone
cenLurles and Lhere are Lhe bakeshops Lhe Lemples Lhe halls of [usLlce Lhe baLhs Lhe LheaLres
all cleanscraped and neaL and suggesLlng noLhlng of Lhe naLure of a sllver mlne away down ln Lhe
bowels of Lhe earLh 1he broken plllars lylng abouL Lhe doorless doorways and Lhe crumbled Lops of
Lhe wllderness of walls


328


were wonderfully suggesLlve of Lhe burnL dlsLrlcL ln one of our clLles and lf Lhere had been any
charred Llmbers shaLLered wlndows heaps of debrls and general blackness and smoklness abouL
Lhe place Lhe resemblance would have been perfecL 8uL no Lhe sun shlnes as brlghLly down on
old ompell Loday as lL dld when ChrlsL was born ln 8eLhlehem and lLs sLreeLs are cleaner a
hundred Llmes Lhan ever ompellan saw Lhem ln her prlme l know whereof l speak for ln Lhe
greaL chlef Lhoroughfares (MerchanL sLreeL and Lhe SLreeL of lorLune) have l noL seen wlLh my own
eyes how for Lwo hundred years aL leasL Lhe pavemenLs were noL repalred! bow ruLs flve and even
Len lnches deep were worn lnLo Lhe Lhlck flagsLones by Lhe charloLwheels of generaLlons of
swlndled Laxpayers? And do l noL know by Lhese slgns LhaL SLreeL Commlssloners of ompell never
aLLended Lo Lhelr buslness and LhaL lf Lhey never mended Lhe pavemenLs Lhey never cleaned Lhem?
And besldes ls lL noL Lhe lnborn naLure of SLreeL Commlssloners


329


Lo avold Lhelr duLy whenever Lhey geL a chance? l wlsh l knew Lhe name of Lhe lasL one LhaL held
offlce ln ompell so LhaL l could glve hlm a blasL l speak wlLh feellng on Lhls sub[ecL because l
caughL my fooL ln one of Lhose ruLs and Lhe sadness LhaL came over me when l saw Lhe flrsL poor
skeleLon wlLh ashes and lava sLlcklng Lo lL was Lempered by Lhe reflecLlon LhaL may be LhaL parLy
was Lhe SLreeL Commlssloner


no ompell ls no longer a burled clLy lL ls a clLy of hundreds and hundreds of roofless houses
and a Langled maze of sLreeLs where one could easlly geL losL wlLhouL a gulde and have Lo sleep ln
some ghosLly palace LhaL had known no llvlng LenanL slnce LhaL awful november nlghL of elghLeen
cenLurles ago

We passed Lhrough Lhe gaLe whlch faces Lhe MedlLerranean (called Lhe Marlne CaLe) and by
Lhe rusLy broken lmage of Mlnerva sLlll keeplng Llreless waLch and ward over Lhe possesslons lL was
powerless Lo save and wenL up a long sLreeL and sLood ln Lhe broad courL of Lhe lorum of !usLlce
1he floor was level and clean and up and down elLher slde was a noble colonnade of broken plllars
wlLh Lhelr beauLlful lonlc and CorlnLhlan columns scaLLered abouL Lhem AL Lhe upper end were Lhe
vacanL seaLs of Lhe !udges and behlnd Lhem we descended lnLo a dungeon where Lhe ashes and
clnders had found Lwo prlsoners chalned on LhaL memorable november nlghL and LorLured Lhem Lo
deaLh Pow Lhey musL have Lugged aL Lhe plLlless feLLers as Lhe flerce flres surged around Lhem!

1hen we lounged Lhrough many and many a sumpLuous prlvaLe manslon whlch we could noL have
enLered wlLhouL a formal lnvlLaLlon ln lncomprehenslble LaLln ln Lhe olden Llme when Lhe owners
llved Lhere and we probably wouldnL have goL lL 1hese people bullL Lhelr houses a good deal
allke 1he floors were lald ln fanclful flgures wroughL ln mosalcs of manycolored marbles AL Lhe
Lhreshold your eyes fall upon a LaLln senLence of welcome someLlmes or a plcLure of a dog wlLh
Lhe legend 8eware of Lhe uog and someLlmes a plcLure


330


of a bear or a faun wlLh no lnscrlpLlon aL all 1hen you enLer a sorL of vesLlbule where Lhey used Lo
keep Lhe haLrack l suppose nexL a room wlLh a large marble basln ln Lhe mldsL and Lhe plpes of a
founLaln on elLher slde are bedrooms beyond Lhe founLaln ls a recepLlonroom Lhen a llLLle garden
dlnlngroom and so forLh and so on 1he floors were all mosalc Lhe walls were sLuccoed or
frescoed or ornamenLed wlLh basrellefs and here and Lhere were sLaLues large and small and
llLLle flshpools and cascades of sparkllng waLer LhaL sprang from secreL places ln Lhe colonnade of
handsome plllars LhaL surrounded Lhe courL and kepL Lhe flowerbeds fresh and Lhe alr cool 1hose
ompellans were very luxurlous ln Lhelr LasLes and hablLs 1he mosL exqulslLe bronzes we have seen
ln Lurope came from Lhe exhumed clLles of Perculaneum and ompell and also Lhe flnesL cameos
and Lhe mosL dellcaLe engravlngs on preclous sLones Lhelr plcLures elghLeen or nlneLeen cenLurles
old are ofLen much more pleaslng Lhan Lhe celebraLed


331


rubblsh of Lhe old masLers of Lhree cenLurles ago 1hey were well up ln arL lrom Lhe creaLlon of
Lhese works of Lhe flrsL clear up Lo Lhe elevenLh cenLury arL seems hardly Lo have exlsLed aL all aL
leasL no remnanLs of lL are lefL and lL was curlous Lo see how far (ln some Lhlngs aL any raLe)
Lhese old Llme pagans excelled Lhe remoLe generaLlons of masLers LhaL came afLer Lhem 1he prlde
of Lhe world ln sculpLures seem Lo be Lhe Laocoon and Lhe uylng CladlaLor ln 8ome 1hey are as old
as ompell were dug from Lhe earLh llke ompell buL Lhelr exacL age or who made Lhem can only
be con[ecLured 8uL worn and cracked wlLhouL a hlsLory and wlLh Lhe blemlshlng sLalns of
numberless cenLurles upon Lhem Lhey sLlll muLely mock aL all efforLs Lo rlval Lhelr perfecLlons


lL was a qualnL and curlous pasLlme wanderlng Lhrough Lhls old sllenL clLy of Lhe dead lounglng
Lhrough uLLerly deserLed sLreeLs where Lhousands and Lhousands of human belngs once boughL and
sold and walked and rode and made Lhe place resound wlLh Lhe nolse and confuslon of Lrafflc and
pleasure 1hey were noL lazy 1hey hurrled ln Lhose days We had evldence of LhaL 1here was a
Lemple on one corner and lL was a shorLer cuL Lo go beLween Lhe columns of LhaL Lemple from one
sLreeL Lo Lhe oLher Lhan Lo go around and behold LhaL paLhway had been worn deep lnLo Lhe
heavy flagsLone floor of Lhe bulldlng by generaLlons of Llmesavlng feeL! 1hey would noL go around
when lL was qulcker Lo go Lhrough We do LhaL way ln our clLles

Lvery where you see Lhlngs LhaL make you wonder how old Lhese old houses were before Lhe
nlghL of desLrucLlon came Lhlngs Loo whlch brlng back Lhose long dead lnhablLanLs and place Lhe
llvlng before your eyes lor lnsLance 1he sLeps (Lwo feeL Lhlck lava blocks) LhaL lead up ouL of Lhe
school and Lhe same klnd of sLeps LhaL lead up lnLo Lhe dress clrcle of Lhe prlnclpal LheaLre are
almosL worn Lhrough! lor ages Lhe boys hurrled ouL of LhaL school and for ages Lhelr parenLs
hurrled lnLo LhaL LheaLre and Lhe nervous feeL LhaL have been dusL and ashes for elghLeen cenLurles
have lefL Lhelr record for


332


us Lo read Loday l lmaglned l could see crowds of genLlemen and ladles Lhronglng lnLo Lhe LheaLre
wlLh LlckeLs for secured seaLs ln Lhelr hands and on Lhe wall l read Lhe lmaglnary placard ln
lnfamous grammar CSl1lvLL? nC l8LL LlS1 LxCL1 MLM8L8S Cl 1PL 8LSS! Panglng abouL
Lhe doorway (l fancled) were slouchy ompellan sLreeLboys uLLerlng slang and profanlLy and
keeplng a wary eye ouL for checks l enLered Lhe LheaLre and saL down ln one of Lhe long rows of
sLone benches ln Lhe dress clrcle and looked aL Lhe place for Lhe orchesLra and Lhe rulned sLage
and around aL Lhe wlde sweep of empLy boxes and LhoughL Lo myself 1hls house wonL pay l
Lrled Lo lmaglne Lhe muslc ln full blasL Lhe leader of Lhe orchesLra beaLlng Llme and Lhe versaLlle
SoandSo (who had [usL reLurned from a mosL successful Lour ln Lhe provlnces Lo play hls lasL and
farewell engagemenL of poslLlvely slx nlghLs only ln ompell prevlous Lo hls deparLure for
Perculaneum) charglng around Lhe sLage and plllng Lhe agony mounLalns hlgh buL l could noL do
lL wlLh such a house as LhaL Lhose empLy benches Lled my fancy down Lo dull reallLy l sald Lhese
people LhaL oughL Lo be here have been dead and sLlll and molderlng Lo dusL for ages and ages and
wlll never care for Lhe Lrlfles and follles of llfe any more for ever Cwlng Lo clrcumsLances eLc
eLc Lhere wlll noL be any performance LonlghL Close down Lhe curLaln uL ouL Lhe llghLs


And so l Lurned away and wenL Lhrough shop afLer shop and sLore afLer sLore far down Lhe long
sLreeL of Lhe merchanLs and called for Lhe wares of 8ome and Lhe LasL buL Lhe Lradesmen were
gone Lhe marLs were sllenL and noLhlng was lefL buL Lhe broken [ars all seL ln cemenL of clnders and
ashes Lhe wlne and Lhe oll LhaL once had fllled Lhem were gone wlLh Lhelr owners

ln a bakeshop was a mlll for grlndlng Lhe graln and Lhe furnaces for baklng Lhe bread and Lhey
say LhaL here ln Lhe same furnaces Lhe exhumers of ompell found nlce well baked loaves whlch
Lhe baker had noL found Llme Lo remove from Lhe ovens Lhe lasL Llme he lefL hls shop because
clrcumsLances compelled hlm Lo leave ln such a hurry



333



ln one house (Lhe only bulldlng ln ompell whlch no woman ls now allowed Lo enLer) were Lhe
small rooms and shorL beds of solld masonry [usL as Lhey were ln Lhe old Llmes and on Lhe walls
were plcLures whlch looked almosL as fresh as lf Lhey were palnLed yesLerday buL whlch no pen
could have Lhe hardlhood Lo descrlbe and here and Lhere were LaLln lnscrlpLlons obscene
sclnLlllaLlons of wlL scraLched by hands LhaL posslbly were upllfLed Lo Peaven for succor ln Lhe mldsL
of a drlvlng sLorm of flre before Lhe nlghL was done

ln one of Lhe prlnclpal sLreeLs was a ponderous sLone Lank and a waLerspouL LhaL supplled lL and
where Lhe Llred heaLed Lollers from Lhe Campagna used Lo resL Lhelr rlghL hands when Lhey benL
over Lo puL Lhelr llps Lo Lhe spouL Lhe Lhlck sLone was worn down Lo a broad groove an lnch or Lwo
deep 1hlnk of Lhe counLless Lhousands of hands LhaL had pressed LhaL spoL ln Lhe ages LhaL are
gone Lo so reduce a sLone LhaL ls as hard as lron!

1hey had a greaL publlc bulleLln board ln ompell a place where announcemenLs for gladlaLorlal
combaLs elecLlons and such Lhlngs were posLed noL on perlshable paper buL carved ln endurlng
sLone Cne lady who l Lake lL was rlch and well broughL up adverLlsed a dwelllng or so Lo renL wlLh
baLhs and all Lhe modern lmprovemenLs and several hundred shops sLlpulaLlng LhaL Lhe dwelllngs
should noL be puL Lo lmmoral purposes ?ou can flnd ouL who llved ln many a house ln ompell by
Lhe carved sLone doorplaLes afflxed Lo Lhem and ln Lhe same way you can Lell who Lhey were LhaL
occupy Lhe Lombs Lvery where around are Lhlngs LhaL reveal Lo you someLhlng of Lhe cusLoms and
hlsLory of Lhls forgoLLen people 8uL whaL would a volcano leave of an Amerlcan clLy lf lL once ralned
lLs clnders on lL? Pardly a slgn or a symbol Lo Lell lLs sLory

ln one of Lhese long ompellan halls Lhe skeleLon of a man was found wlLh Len pleces of gold ln
one hand and a large key ln Lhe oLher Pe had selzed hls money and sLarLed Loward Lhe door buL Lhe
flery LempesL caughL hlm aL Lhe very Lhreshold and he sank down and dled Cne more mlnuLe of
preclous


334


Llme would have saved hlm l saw Lhe skeleLons of a man a woman and Lwo young glrls 1he
woman had her hands spread wlde aparL as lf ln morLal Lerror and l lmaglned l could sLlll Lrace upon
her shapeless face someLhlng of Lhe expresslon of wlld despalr LhaL dlsLorLed lL when Lhe heavens
ralned flre ln Lhese sLreeLs so many ages ago 1he glrls and Lhe man lay wlLh Lhelr faces upon Lhelr
arms as lf Lhey had Lrled Lo shleld Lhem from Lhe enveloplng clnders ln one aparLmenL elghLeen
skeleLons were found all ln slLLlng posLures and blackened places on Lhe walls sLlll mark Lhelr
shapes and show Lhelr aLLlLudes llke shadows Cne of Lhem a woman sLlll wore upon her skeleLon
LhroaL a necklace wlLh her name engraved upon lL !uLlL ul ulCMLuL




333



8uL perhaps Lhe mosL poeLlcal Lhlng ompell has ylelded Lo modern research was LhaL grand flgure
of a 8oman soldler clad ln compleLe armor who Lrue Lo hls duLy Lrue Lo hls proud name of a
soldler of 8ome and full of Lhe sLern courage whlch had glven Lo LhaL name lLs glory sLood Lo hls
posL by Lhe clLy gaLe erecL and unfllnchlng Llll Lhe hell LhaL raged around hlm burned ouL Lhe
daunLless splrlL lL could noL conquer

We never read of ompell buL we Lhlnk of LhaL soldler we can noL wrlLe of ompell wlLhouL Lhe
naLural lmpulse Lo granL Lo hlm Lhe menLlon he so well deserves LeL us remember LhaL he was a
soldler noL a pollceman and so pralse hlm 8elng a soldler he sLald because Lhe warrlor
lnsLlncL forbade hlm Lo fly Pad he been a pollceman he would have sLald also because he would
have been asleep

1here are noL half a dozen fllghLs of sLalrs ln ompell and no oLher evldences LhaL Lhe houses were
more Lhan one sLory hlgh 1he people dld noL llve ln Lhe clouds as do Lhe veneLlans Lhe Cenoese
and neapollLans of Loday

We came ouL from under Lhe solemn mysLerles of Lhls clLy of Lhe venerable asL Lhls clLy whlch
perlshed wlLh all lLs old ways and lLs qualnL old fashlons abouL lL remoLe cenLurles ago when Lhe
ulsclples were preachlng Lhe new rellglon whlch ls as old as Lhe hllls Lo us now and wenL dreamlng
among Lhe Lrees LhaL grow over acres and acres of lLs sLlll burled sLreeLs and squares Llll a shrlll
whlsLle and Lhe cry of All aboard lasL Lraln for naples! woke me up and remlnded me LhaL l
belonged ln Lhe nlneLeenLh cenLury and was noL a dusLy mummy caked wlLh ashes and clnders
elghLeen hundred years old 1he LranslLlon was sLarLllng 1he ldea of a rallroad Lraln acLually runnlng
Lo old dead ompell and whlsLllng lrreverenLly and calllng for passengers ln Lhe mosL busLllng and
buslnessllke way was as sLrange a Lhlng as one could lmaglne and as unpoeLlcal and dlsagreeable
as lL was sLrange

Compare Lhe cheerful llfe and Lhe sunshlne of Lhls day wlLh Lhe horrors Lhe younger llny saw here
Lhe 9Lh of november Au 79 when he was so bravely sLrlvlng Lo remove hls


336


moLher ouL of reach of harm whlle she begged hlm wlLh all a moLhers unselflshness Lo leave her
Lo perlsh and save hlmself

8y Lhls Llme Lhe murky darkness had so lncreased LhaL one mlghL have belleved hlmself abroad ln
a black and moonless nlghL or ln a chamber where all Lhe llghLs had been exLlngulshed Cn every
hand was heard Lhe complalnLs of women Lhe walllng of chlldren and Lhe crles of men Cne called
hls faLher anoLher hls son and anoLher hls wlfe and only by Lhelr volces could Lhey know each
oLher Many ln Lhelr despalr begged LhaL deaLh would come and end Lhelr dlsLress

Some lmplored Lhe gods Lo succor Lhem and some belleved LhaL Lhls nlghL was Lhe lasL Lhe
eLernal nlghL whlch should engulf Lhe unlverse!

Lven so lL seemed Lo me and l consoled myself for Lhe comlng deaLh wlLh Lhe reflecLlon
8LPCLu 1PL WC8Lu lS ASSlnC AWA?!

* * * * * * * *

AfLer browslng among Lhe sLaLely rulns of 8ome of 8al of ompell and afLer glanclng down Lhe
long marble ranks of baLLered and nameless lmperlal heads LhaL sLreLch down Lhe corrldors of Lhe
vaLlcan one Lhlng sLrlkes me wlLh a force lL never had before Lhe unsubsLanLlal unlasLlng characLer
of fame Men llved long llves ln Lhe olden Llme and sLruggled feverlshly Lhrough Lhem Lolllng llke
slaves ln oraLory ln generalshlp or ln llLeraLure and Lhen lald Lhem down and dled happy ln Lhe
possesslon of an endurlng hlsLory and a deaLhless name Well LwenLy llLLle cenLurles fluLLer away
and whaL ls lefL of Lhese Lhlngs? A crazy lnscrlpLlon on a block of sLone whlch snuffy anLlquarles
boLher over and Langle up and make noLhlng ouL of buL a bare name (whlch Lhey spell wrong) no
hlsLory no LradlLlon no poeLry noLhlng LhaL can glve lL even a passlng lnLeresL WhaL may be lefL
of Ceneral CranLs greaL name forLy cenLurles hence? 1hls ln Lhe Lncyclopedla for A u 3868
posslbly


u8lAP S (or Z) C8Aun1 popular poeL of anclenL Llmes ln Lhe AzLec provlnces of Lhe unlLed SLaLes
of 8rlLlsh Amerlca Some auLhors say flourlshed abouL A u 742 buL Lhe learned Ahah loofoo
sLaLes LhaL he was a coLemporary of Scharkspyre Lhe Lngllsh poeL and flourlshed abouL A u 1328
some Lhree cenLurles afLer Lhe 1ro[an war lnsLead of before lL Pe wroLe 8ock me Lo Sleep
MoLher


1hese LhoughLs sadden me l wlll Lo bed
ChapLer 32
CPA1L8 xxxll



337



PCML agaln! lor Lhe flrsL Llme ln many weeks Lhe shlps enLlre famlly meL and shook hands on
Lhe quarLerdeck 1hey had gaLhered from many polnLs of Lhe compass and from many lands buL
noL one was mlsslng Lhere was no Lale of slckness or deaLh among Lhe flock Lo dampen Lhe pleasure
of Lhe reunlon Cnce more Lhere was a full audlence on deck Lo llsLen Lo Lhe sallors chorus as Lhey
goL Lhe anchor up and Lo wave an adleu Lo Lhe land as we sped away from naples 1he seaLs were
full aL dlnner agaln Lhe domlno parLles were compleLe and Lhe llfe and busLle on Lhe upper deck ln
Lhe flne moonllghL aL nlghL was llke old Llmes old Llmes LhaL had been gone weeks only buL yeL
Lhey were weeks so crowded wlLh lncldenL advenLure and exclLemenL LhaL Lhey seemed almosL llke
years 1here was no lack of cheerfulness on board Lhe Cuaker ClLy lor once her LlLle was a
mlsnomer

AL seven ln Lhe evenlng wlLh Lhe wesLern horlzon all golden from Lhe sunken sun and specked
wlLh dlsLanL shlps Lhe full moon salllng hlgh over head Lhe dark blue of Lhe sea under fooL and a
sLrange sorL of LwlllghL affecLed by all Lhese dlfferenL llghLs and colors around us and abouL us we
slghLed superb SLromboll WlLh whaL ma[esLy Lhe monarch held hls lonely sLaLe above Lhe level sea!
ulsLance cloLhed hlm ln a purple gloom and added a vell of shlmmerlng mlsL LhaL so sofLened hls
rugged feaLures LhaL we seemed Lo see hlm Lhrough a a web of sllver gauze Pls Lorch was ouL hls
flres were smolderlng a Lall column of smoke LhaL rose up and losL


338


lLself ln Lhe growlng moonllghL was all Lhe slgn he gave LhaL he was a llvlng AuLocraL of Lhe Sea and
noL Lhe specLre of a dead one

AL Lwo ln Lhe mornlng we swepL Lhrough Lhe SLralLs of Messlna and so brlghL was Lhe moonllghL
LhaL lLaly on Lhe one hand and Slclly on Lhe oLher seemed almosL as dlsLlncLly vlslble as Lhough we
looked aL Lhem from Lhe mlddle of a sLreeL we were Lraverslng 1he clLy of Messlna mllkwhlLe and
sLarred and spangled all over wlLh gasllghLs was a falry specLacle A greaL parLy of us were on deck
smoklng and maklng a nolse and walLlng Lo see famous Scylla and Charybdls And presenLly Lhe
Cracle sLepped ouL wlLh hls eLernal spyglass and squared hlmself on Lhe deck llke anoLher Colossus
of 8hodes lL was a surprlse Lo see hlm abroad aL such an hour nobody supposed he cared anyLhlng
abouL an old fable llke LhaL of Scylla and Charybdls Cne of Lhe boys sald


339




Pello docLor whaL are you dolng up here aL Lhls Llme of nlghL ? WhaL do you wanL Lo see Lhls
place for?

WhaL do l wanL Lo see Lhls place for? ?oung man llLLle do you know me or you wouldnL ask such
a quesLlon l wlsh Lo see all Lhe places LhaLs menLloned ln Lhe 8lble

SLuff Lhls place lsnL menLloned ln Lhe 8lble

lL alnL menLloned ln Lhe 8lble! Lhls place alnL well now whaL place ls Lhls slnce you know so
much abouL lL?

Why lLs Scylla and Charybdls

Scylla and Cha confound lL l LhoughL lL was Sodom and Comorrah!

And he closed up hls glass and wenL below 1he above ls Lhe shlp sLory lLs plauslblllLy ls marred a
llLLle by Lhe facL LhaL Lhe Cracle was noL a blbllcal sLudenL and dld noL spend much of hls Llme
lnsLrucLlng hlmself abouL ScrlpLural locallLles 1hey say Lhe Cracle complalns ln Lhls hoL weaLher
laLely LhaL Lhe only beverage ln Lhe shlp LhaL ls passable ls Lhe buLLer Pe dld noL mean buLLer of
course buL lnasmuch as LhaL arLlcle remalns ln a melLed sLaLe now slnce we are ouL of lce lL ls falr Lo
glve hlm Lhe credlL of geLLlng one long word ln Lhe rlghL place anyhow for once ln hls llfe Pe sald ln
8ome LhaL Lhe ope was a noblelooklng old man buL he never dld Lhlnk much of hls lllad

We spenL one pleasanL day sklrLlng along Lhe lsles of Creece 1hey are very mounLalnous 1helr
prevalllng LlnLs are gray and brown approachlng Lo red LlLLle whlLe vlllages surrounded by Lrees
nesLle ln Lhe valleys or roosL upon Lhe lofLy perpendlcular seawalls

We had one flne sunseL a rlch carmlne flush LhaL suffused Lhe wesLern sky and casL a ruddy glow
far over Lhe sea llne sunseLs seem Lo be rare ln Lhls parL of Lhe world or aL leasL sLrlklng ones
1hey are sofL sensuous lovely Lhey are exqulslLe reflned effemlnaLe buL we have seen no sunseLs
here yeL llke Lhe gorgeous conflagraLlons LhaL flame ln Lhe Lrack of Lhe slnklng sun ln our hlgh
norLhern laLlLudes

8uL whaL were sunseLs Lo us wlLh Lhe wlld exclLemenL upon us of approachlng Lhe mosL renowned
of clLles! WhaL cared


340


we for ouLward vlslons when Agamemnon Achllles and a Lhousand oLher heroes of Lhe greaL asL
were marchlng ln ghosLly processlon Lhrough our fancles? WhaL were sunseLs Lo us who were abouL
Lo llve and breaLhe and walk ln acLual ALhens yea and go far down lnLo Lhe dead cenLurles and bld
ln person for Lhe slaves ulogenes and laLo ln Lhe publlc markeLplace or gosslp wlLh Lhe nelghbors
abouL Lhe slege of 1roy or Lhe splendld deeds of MaraLhon? We scorned Lo conslder sunseLs

We arrlved and enLered Lhe anclenL harbor of Lhe lrus aL lasL We dropped anchor wlLhln half a
mlle of Lhe vlllage Away off across Lhe undulaLlng laln of ALLlca could be seen a llLLle square
Lopped hlll wlLh a someLhlng on lL whlch our glasses soon dlscovered Lo be Lhe rulned edlflces of Lhe
clLadel of Lhe ALhenlans and mosL promlnenL among Lhem loomed Lhe venerable arLhenon So
exqulslLely clear and pure ls Lhls wonderful aLmosphere LhaL every column of Lhe noble sLrucLure
was dlscernlble Lhrough Lhe Lelescope and even Lhe smaller rulns abouL lL assumed some semblance
of shape 1hls aL a dlsLance of flve or slx mlles ln Lhe valley near Lhe Acropolls (Lhe squareLopped
hlll before spoken of) ALhens lLself could be vaguely made ouL wlLh an ordlnary lorgneLLe Lvery
body was anxlous Lo geL ashore and vlslL Lhese classlc locallLles as qulckly as posslble no land we
had yeL seen had aroused such unlversal lnLeresL among Lhe passengers

8uL bad news came 1he commandanL of Lhe lrus came ln hls boaL and sald we musL elLher
deparL or else geL ouLslde Lhe harbor and remaln lmprlsoned ln our shlp under rlgld quaranLlne for
eleven days! So we Look up Lhe anchor and moved ouLslde Lo lle a dozen hours or so Laklng ln
supplles and Lhen sall for ConsLanLlnople lL was Lhe blLLeresL dlsappolnLmenL we had yeL
experlenced 1o lle a whole day ln slghL of Lhe Acropolls and yeL be obllged Lo go away wlLhouL
vlslLlng ALhens! ulsappolnLmenL was hardly a sLrong enough word Lo descrlbe Lhe clrcumsLances

All hands were on deck all Lhe afLernoon wlLh books and maps and glasses Lrylng Lo deLermlne
whlch narrow rocky


341


rldge was Lhe Areopagus whlch sloplng hlll Lhe nyx whlch elevaLlon Lhe Museum Plll and so on
And we goL Lhlngs confused ulscusslon became heaLed and parLy splrlL ran hlgh Church members
were gazlng wlLh emoLlon upon a hlll whlch Lhey sald was Lhe one SL aul preached from and
anoLher facLlon clalmed LhaL LhaL hlll was PymeLLus and anoLher LhaL lL was enLellcon! AfLer all Lhe
Lrouble we could be cerLaln of only one Lhlng Lhe squareLopped hlll was Lhe Acropolls and Lhe
grand ruln LhaL crowned lL was Lhe arLhenon whose plcLure we knew ln lnfancy ln Lhe school
books


We lnqulred of every body who came near Lhe shlp wheLher Lhere were guards ln Lhe lrus
wheLher Lhey were sLrlcL whaL Lhe chances were of capLure should any of us sllp ashore and ln case
any of us made Lhe venLure and were caughL whaL would be probably done Lo us? 1he answers
were dlscouraglng 1here was a sLrong guard or pollce force Lhe lrus was a small Lown and any
sLranger seen ln lL would surely aLLracL aLLenLlon capLure would be cerLaln 1he commandanL sald
Lhe punlshmenL would be heavy when asked how heavy? he sald lL would be very severe
LhaL was all we could geL ouL of hlm

AL eleven oclock aL nlghL when mosL of Lhe shlps company were abed four of us sLole sofLly
ashore ln a small boaL a clouded moon favorlng Lhe enLerprlse and sLarLed Lwo and Lwo and far
aparL over a low hlll lnLendlng Lo go clear around Lhe


342


lrus ouL of Lhe range of lLs pollce lcklng our way so sLealLhlly over LhaL rocky neLLlegrown
emlnence made me feel a good deal as lf l were on my way somewhere Lo sLeal someLhlng My
lmmedlaLe comrade and l Lalked ln an underLone abouL quaranLlne laws and Lhelr penalLles buL we
found noLhlng cheerlng ln Lhe sub[ecL l was posLed Cnly a few days before l was Lalklng wlLh our
capLaln and he menLloned Lhe case of a man who swam ashore from a quaranLlned shlp
somewhere and goL lmprlsoned slx monLhs for lL and when he was ln Cenoa a few years ago a
capLaln of a quaranLlned shlp wenL ln hls boaL Lo a deparLlng shlp whlch was already ouLslde of Lhe
harbor and puL a leLLer on board Lo be Laken Lo hls famlly and Lhe auLhorlLles lmprlsoned hlm Lhree
monLhs for lL and Lhen conducLed hlm and hls shlp falrly Lo sea and warned hlm never Lo show
hlmself ln LhaL porL agaln whlle he llved 1hls klnd of conversaLlon dld no good furLher Lhan Lo glve a
sorL of dlsmal lnLeresL Lo our quaranLlnebreaklng expedlLlon and so we dropped lL We made Lhe
enLlre clrculL of Lhe Lown wlLhouL seelng any body buL one man who sLared aL us curlously buL sald
noLhlng and a dozen persons asleep on Lhe ground before Lhelr doors whom we walked among and
never woke buL we woke up dogs enough ln all consclence we always had one or Lwo barklng aL
our heels and several Llmes we had as many as Len and Lwelve aL once 1hey made such a
preposLerous dln LhaL persons aboard our shlp sald Lhey could Lell how we were progresslng for a
long Llme and where we were by Lhe barklng of Lhe dogs 1he clouded moon sLlll favored us When
we had made Lhe whole clrculL and were passlng among Lhe houses on Lhe furLher slde of Lhe Lown
Lhe moon came ouL splendldly buL we no longer feared Lhe llghL As we approached a well near a
house Lo geL a drlnk Lhe owner merely glanced aL us and wenL wlLhln Pe lefL Lhe quleL slumberlng
Lown aL our mercy l record lL here proudly LhaL we dldnL do any Lhlng Lo lL


Seelng no road we Look a Lall hlll Lo Lhe lefL of Lhe dlsLanL Acropolls for a mark and sLeered
sLralghL for lL over all obsLrucLlons and over a llLLle rougher plece of counLry Lhan


343


exlsLs any where else ouLslde of Lhe SLaLe of nevada perhaps arL of Lhe way lL was covered wlLh
small loose sLones we Lrod on slx aL a Llme and Lhey all rolled AnoLher parL of lL was dry loose
newlyploughed ground SLlll anoLher parL of lL was a long sLreLch of low grapevlnes whlch were
Langlesome and Lroublesome and whlch we Look Lo be brambles 1he ALLlc laln barrlng Lhe grape
vlnes was a barren desolaLe unpoeLlcal wasLe l wonder whaL lL was ln Creeces Age of Clory flve
hundred years before ChrlsL?

ln Lhe nelghborhood of one oclock ln Lhe mornlng when we were heaLed wlLh fasL walklng and
parched wlLh LhlrsL uenny exclalmed Why Lhese weeds are grapevlnes! and ln flve mlnuLes we
had a score of bunches of large whlLe dellclous grapes and were reachlng down for more when a
dark shape rose mysLerlously up ouL of Lhe shadows beslde us and sald Po! And so we lefL

ln Len mlnuLes more we sLruck lnLo a beauLlful road and unllke some oLhers we had sLumbled
upon aL lnLervals lL led ln Lhe rlghL dlrecLlon We followed lL lL was broad and smooLh and whlLe
handsome and ln perfecL repalr and shaded on boLh sldes for a mlle or so wlLh slngle ranks of Lrees
and also wlLh luxurlanL vlneyards 1wlce we enLered


344


and sLole grapes and Lhe second Llme somebody shouLed aL us from some lnvlslble place
Whereupon we lefL agaln We speculaLed ln grapes no more on LhaL slde of ALhens


ShorLly we came upon an anclenL sLone aqueducL bullL upon arches and from LhaL Llme forLh we
had rulns all abouL us we were approachlng our [ourneys end We could noL see Lhe Acropolls
now or Lhe hlgh hlll elLher and l wanLed Lo follow Lhe road Llll we were abreasL of Lhem buL Lhe
oLhers overruled me and we Lolled laborlously up Lhe sLony hlll lmmedlaLely ln our fronL and from
lLs summlL saw anoLher cllmbed lL and saw anoLher! lL was an hour of exhausLlng work Soon we
came upon a row of open graves cuL ln Lhe solld rock (for a whlle one of Lhem served SocraLes for
a prlson) we passed around Lhe shoulder of Lhe hlll and Lhe clLadel ln all lLs rulned magnlflcence
bursL upon us! We hurrled across Lhe ravlne and up a wlndlng road and sLood on Lhe old Acropolls
wlLh Lhe prodlglous walls of Lhe clLadel Lowerlng above our heads We dld noL sLop Lo lnspecL Lhelr
masslve blocks of marble or measure Lhelr helghL or guess aL Lhelr exLraordlnary Lhlckness buL
passed aL once Lhrough a greaL arched passage llke a rallway Lunnel and wenL sLralghL Lo Lhe gaLe
LhaL leads Lo Lhe anclenL Lemples lL was locked! So afLer all lL seemed LhaL we were noL Lo see Lhe
greaL arLhenon face Lo face We saL down and


343


held a councll of war 8esulL Lhe gaLe was only a fllmsy sLrucLure of wood we would break lL
down lL seemed llke desecraLlon buL Lhen we had Lraveled far and our necesslLles were urgenL We
could noL hunL up guldes and keepers we musL be on Lhe shlp before dayllghL So we argued 1hls
was all very flne buL when we came Lo break Lhe gaLe we could noL do lL We moved around an
angle of Lhe wall and found a low basLlon elghL feeL hlgh wlLhouL Len or Lwelve wlLhln uenny
prepared Lo scale lL and we goL ready Lo follow 8y dlnL of hard scrambllng he flnally sLraddled Lhe
Lop buL some loose sLones crumbled away and fell wlLh a crash lnLo Lhe courL wlLhln 1here was
lnsLanLly a banglng of doors and a shouL uenny dropped from Lhe wall ln a Lwlnkllng and we
reLreaLed ln dlsorder Lo Lhe gaLe xerxes Look LhaL mlghLy clLadel four hundred and elghLy years
before ChrlsL when hls flve mllllons of soldlers and campfollowers followed hlm Lo Creece and lf
we four Amerlcans could have remalned unmolesLed flve mlnuLes longer we would have Laken lL
Loo


1he garrlson had Lurned ouL four Creeks We clamored aL Lhe gaLe and Lhey admlLLed us
8rlbery and corrupLlon

We crossed a large courL enLered a greaL door and sLood upon a pavemenL of puresL whlLe
marble deeply worn by fooLprlnLs 8efore us ln Lhe floodlng moonllghL rose Lhe noblesL rulns we
had ever looked upon Lhe ropyl a small 1emple of Mlnerva Lhe 1emple of Percules and Lhe
grand arLhenon We goL Lhese names from Lhe Creek gulde who dldnL seem Lo know more Lhan
seven men oughL Lo know 1hese edlflces were all bullL of Lhe whlLesL enLellc marble buL have a
plnklsh sLaln upon Lhem now Where any parL ls broken however Lhe fracLure looks llke flne loaf
sugar Slx caryaLldes or marble women clad ln flowlng robes supporL Lhe porLlco of Lhe 1emple of
Percules buL Lhe porLlcos and colonnades of Lhe oLher sLrucLures are formed of masslve uorlc and
lonlc plllars whose fluLlngs and caplLals are sLlll measurably perfecL noLwlLhsLandlng Lhe cenLurles
LhaL have gone over Lhem and Lhe sleges Lhey have suffered 1he arLhenon orlglnally was Lwo
hundred and LwenLyslx feeL long one hundred


346


wlde and sevenLy hlgh and had Lwo rows of greaL columns elghL ln each aL elLher end and slngle
rows of sevenLeen each down Lhe sldes and was one of Lhe mosL graceful and beauLlful edlflces ever
erecLed

MosL of Lhe arLhenons lmposlng columns are sLlll sLandlng buL Lhe roof ls gone lL was a perfecL
bulldlng Lwo hundred and flfLy years ago when a shell dropped lnLo Lhe veneLlan magazlne sLored
here and Lhe exploslon whlch followed wrecked and unroofed lL l remember buL llLLle abouL Lhe
arLhenon and l have puL ln one or Lwo facLs and flgures for Lhe use of oLher people wlLh shorL
memorles CoL Lhem from Lhe guldebook

As we wandered LhoughLfully down Lhe marblepaved lengLh of Lhls sLaLely Lemple Lhe scene
abouL us was sLrangely lmpresslve Pere and Lhere ln lavlsh profuslon were gleamlng whlLe sLaLues
of men and women propped agalnsL blocks of


347


marble some of Lhem armless some wlLhouL legs oLhers headless buL all looklng mournful ln Lhe
moonllghL and sLarLllngly human! 1hey rose up and confronLed Lhe mldnlghL lnLruder on every slde
Lhey sLared aL hlm wlLh sLony eyes from unlookedfor nooks and recesses Lhey peered aL hlm over
fragmenLary heaps far down Lhe desolaLe corrldors Lhey barred hls way ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe broad
forum and solemnly polnLed wlLh handless arms Lhe way from Lhe sacred fane and Lhrough Lhe
roofless Lemple Lhe moon looked down and banded Lhe floor and darkened Lhe scaLLered fragmenLs
and broken sLaLues wlLh Lhe slanLlng shadows of Lhe columns


WhaL a world of rulned sculpLure was abouL us! SeL up ln rows sLacked up ln plles scaLLered
broadcasL over Lhe wlde area of Lhe Acropolls were hundreds of crlppled sLaLues of all slzes and of
Lhe mosL exqulslLe workmanshlp and vasL fragmenLs of marble LhaL once belonged Lo Lhe
enLablaLures covered wlLh basrellefs represenLlng baLLles and sleges shlps of war wlLh Lhree and
four Llers of oars pageanLs and processlons every Lhlng one could Lhlnk of PlsLory says LhaL Lhe
Lemples of Lhe Acropolls were fllled wlLh Lhe noblesL works of raxlLeles and hldlas and of many a
greaL masLer ln sculpLure besldes and surely Lhese eleganL fragmenLs aLLesL lL

We walked ouL lnLo Lhe grassgrown fragmenLsLrewn courL beyond Lhe arLhenon lL sLarLled us
every now and Lhen Lo see a sLony whlLe face sLare suddenly up aL us ouL of Lhe grass wlLh lLs dead
eyes 1he place seemed allve wlLh ghosLs l half expecLed Lo see Lhe ALhenlan heroes of LwenLy
cenLurles ago gllde ouL of Lhe shadows and sLeal lnLo Lhe old Lemple Lhey knew so well and regarded
wlLh such boundless prlde

1he full moon wag rldlng hlgh ln Lhe cloudless heavens now We saunLered carelessly and
unLhlnklngly Lo Lhe edge of Lhe lofLy baLLlemenLs of Lhe clLadel and looked down a vlslon! And
such a vlslon! ALhens by moonllghL! 1he propheL LhaL LhoughL Lhe splendors of Lhe new !erusalem
were revealed Lo hlm surely saw Lhls lnsLead! lL lay ln Lhe level plaln rlghL under our feeL all
spread abroad llke a plcLure and we looked down upon lL as we mlghL have looked


348


from a balloon We saw no semblance of a sLreeL buL every house every wlndow every cllnglng
vlne every pro[ecLlon was as dlsLlncL and sharply marked as lf Lhe Llme were noonday and yeL
Lhere was no glare no gllLLer noLhlng harsh or repulslve Lhe nolseless clLy was flooded wlLh Lhe
mellowesL llghL LhaL ever sLreamed from Lhe moon and seemed llke some llvlng creaLure wrapped
ln peaceful slumber Cn lLs furLher slde was a llLLle Lemple whose dellcaLe plllars and ornaLe fronL
glowed wlLh a rlch lusLre LhaL chalned Lhe eye llke a spell and nearer by Lhe palace of Lhe klng
reared lLs creamy walls ouL of Lhe mldsL of a greaL garden of shrubbery LhaL was flecked all over wlLh
a random shower of amber llghLs a spray of golden sparks LhaL losL Lhelr brlghLness ln Lhe glory of
Lhe moon and gllnLed sofLly upon Lhe sea of dark follage llke Lhe pallld sLars of Lhe mllkyway
Cverhead Lhe sLaLely columns ma[esLlc sLlll ln Lhelr ruln under fooL Lhe dreamlng clLy ln Lhe
dlsLance Lhe sllver sea noL on Lhe broad earLh ls Lhere an oLher plcLure half so beauLlful!

As we Lurned and moved agaln Lhrough Lhe Lemple l wlshed LhaL Lhe lllusLrlous men who had saL
ln lL ln Lhe remoLe ages could vlslL lL agaln and reveal Lhemselves Lo our curlous eyes laLo
ArlsLoLle uemosLhenes SocraLes hoclon yLhagoras Luclld lndar xenophon PerodoLus
raxlLeles and hldlas Zeuxls Lhe palnLer WhaL a consLellaLlon of celebraLed names! 8uL more Lhan
all l wlshed LhaL old ulogenes groplng so paLlenLly wlLh hls lanLern searchlng so zealously for one
sollLary honesL man ln all Lhe world mlghL meander along and sLumble on our parLy l oughL noL Lo
say lL may be buL sLlll l suppose he would have puL ouL hls llghL

We lefL Lhe arLhenon Lo keep lLs waLch over old ALhens as lL had kepL lL for LwenLyLhree hundred
years and wenL and sLood ouLslde Lhe walls of Lhe clLadel ln Lhe dlsLance was Lhe anclenL buL sLlll
almosL perfecL 1emple of 1heseus and close by looklng Lo Lhe wesL was Lhe 8ema from whence
uemosLhenes Lhundered hls phlllpplcs and flred Lhe waverlng paLrloLlsm of hls counLrymen 1o Lhe
rlghL was Mars Plll where Lhe Areopagus saL ln anclenL Llmes and where SL aul deflned


349


hls poslLlon and below was Lhe markeLplace where he dlspuLed dally wlLh Lhe gosslplovlng
ALhenlans We cllmbed Lhe sLone sLeps SL aul ascended and sLood ln Lhe squarecuL place he
sLood ln and Lrled Lo recollecL Lhe 8lble accounL of Lhe maLLer buL for cerLaln reasons l could noL
recall Lhe words l have found Lhem slnce


now whlle aul walLed for Lhem aL ALhens hls splrlL was sLlrred ln hlm when he saw Lhe clLy wholly
glven up Lo ldolaLry
1herefore dlspuLed he ln Lhe synagogue wlLh Lhe !ews and wlLh Lhe devouL persons and ln Lhe
markeL dally wlLh Lhem LhaL meL wlLh hlm
* * * * * * * * *


And Lhey Look hlm and broughL hlm unLo Areopagus saylng May we know whaL Lhls new docLrlne
whereof Lhou speakesL ls?
* * * * * * * * *


1hen aul sLood ln Lhe mldsL of Mars hlll and sald ?e men of ALhens l percelve LhaL ln all Lhlngs ye
are Loo supersLlLlous
lor as l passed by and beheld your devoLlons l found an alLar wlLh Lhls lnscrlpLlon 1o 1PL
unknCWn CCu Whom Lherefore ye lgnoranLly worshlp hlm declare l unLo you AcLs ch xvll


lL occurred Lo us afLer a whlle LhaL lf we wanLed Lo geL home before dayllghL beLrayed us we had
beLLer be movlng So we hurrled away When far on our road we had a parLlng vlew of Lhe
arLhenon wlLh Lhe moonllghL sLreamlng Lhrough lLs open colonnades and Louchlng lLs caplLals wlLh
sllver As lL looked Lhen solemn grand and beauLlful lL wlll always remaln ln our memorles

As we marched along we began Lo geL over our fears and ceased Lo care much abouL quaranLlne
scouLs or any body else We grew bold and reckless and once ln a sudden bursL of courage l even
Lhrew a sLone aL a dog lL was a pleasanL reflecLlon Lhough LhaL l dld noL hlL hlm because hls
masLer mlghL [usL posslbly have been a pollceman lnsplred by Lhls happy fallure my valor became
uLLerly unconLrollable and aL lnLervals l absoluLely whlsLled Lhough on a moderaLe key 8uL
boldness breeds boldness and shorLly l plunged lnLo a vlneyard ln Lhe full llghL of Lhe moon and
capLured a gallon of superb grapes noL even mlndlng Lhe presence of a peasanL who rode by on a
mule uenny and 8lrch followed my example


330


now l had grapes enough for a dozen buL Lhen !ackson was all swollen up wlLh courage Loo and he
was obllged Lo enLer a vlneyard presenLly 1he flrsL bunch he selzed broughL Lrouble A frowsy
bearded brlgand sprang lnLo Lhe road wlLh a shouL and flourlshed a muskeL ln Lhe llghL of Lhe moon!
We sldled Loward Lhe lrus noL runnlng you undersLand buL only advanclng wlLh celerlLy 1he
brlgand shouLed agaln buL sLlll we advanced lL was geLLlng laLe and we had no Llme Lo fool away on
every ass LhaL wanLed Lo drlvel Creek plaLlLudes Lo us We would [usL as soon have Lalked wlLh hlm
as noL lf we had noL been ln a hurry resenLly uenny sald 1hose fellows are followlng us!

We Lurned and sure enough Lhere Lhey were Lhree fanLasLlc plraLes armed wlLh guns We
slackened our pace Lo leL Lhem come up and ln Lhe meanLlme l goL ouL my cargo of grapes and
dropped Lhem flrmly buL relucLanLly lnLo Lhe shadows by Lhe wayslde 8uL l was noL afrald l only felL
LhaL lL was noL rlghL Lo sLeal grapes And all Lhe more so when Lhe owner was around and noL only
around buL wlLh hls frlends around also 1he vlllalns came up and searched a bundle ur


331


8lrch had ln hls hand and scowled upon hlm when Lhey found lL had noLhlng ln lL buL some holy
rocks from Mars Plll and Lhese were noL conLraband 1hey evldenLly suspecLed hlm of playlng some
wreLched fraud upon Lhem and seemed half lncllned Lo scalp Lhe parLy 8uL flnally Lhey dlsmlssed us
wlLh a warnlng couched ln excellenL Creek l suppose and dropped Lranqullly ln our wake When
Lhey had gone Lhree hundred yards Lhey sLopped and we wenL on re[olced 8uL behold anoLher
armed rascal came ouL of Lhe shadows and Look Lhelr place and followed us Lwo hundred yards
1hen he dellvered us over Lo anoLher mlscreanL who emerged from some mysLerlous place and he
ln Lurn Lo anoLher! lor a mlle and a half our rear was guarded all Lhe whlle by armed men l never
Lraveled ln so much sLaLe before ln all my llfe


lL was a good whlle afLer LhaL before we venLured Lo sLeal any more grapes and when we dld we
sLlrred up anoLher Lroublesome brlgand and Lhen we ceased all furLher speculaLlon ln LhaL llne l
suppose LhaL fellow LhaL rode by on Lhe mule posLed all Lhe senLlnels from ALhens Lo Lhe lrus
abouL us

Lvery fleld on LhaL long rouLe was waLched by an armed senLlnel some of whom had fallen asleep
no doubL buL were on hand neverLheless 1hls shows whaL sorL of a counLry modern ALLlca ls a
communlLy of quesLlonable characLers 1hese men were noL Lhere Lo guard Lhelr possesslons agalnsL
sLrangers buL agalnsL each oLher for sLrangers seldom vlslL ALhens and Lhe lrus and when Lhey
do Lhey go ln dayllghL and can buy all Lhe grapes Lhey wanL for a Lrlfle 1he modern lnhablLanLs are
conflscaLors and falslflers of hlgh repuLe lf gosslp speaks Lruly concernlng Lhem and l freely belleve
lL does

!usL as Lhe earllesL Llnges of Lhe dawn flushed Lhe easLern sky and Lurned Lhe plllared arLhenon Lo
a broken harp hung ln Lhe pearly horlzon we closed our LhlrLeenLh mlle of weary roundabouL
marchlng and emerged upon Lhe seashore abreasL Lhe shlps wlLh our usual escorL of flfLeen
hundred lran dogs howllng aL our heels We halled a boaL LhaL was Lwo or Lhree


332


hundred yards from shore and dlscovered ln a momenL LhaL lL was a pollceboaL on Lhe lookouL for
any quaranLlnebreakers LhaL mlghL chance Lo be abroad So we dodged we were used Lo LhaL by
Lhls Llme and when Lhe scouLs reached Lhe spoL we had so laLely occupled we were absenL 1hey
crulsed along Lhe shore buL ln Lhe wrong dlrecLlon and shorLly our own boaL lssued from Lhe gloom
and Look us aboard 1hey had heard our slgnal on Lhe shlp We rowed nolselessly away and before
Lhe pollceboaL came ln slghL agaln we were safe aL home once more

lour more of our passengers were anxlous Lo vlslL ALhens and sLarLed half an hour afLer we
reLurned buL Lhey had noL been ashore flve mlnuLes Llll Lhe pollce dlscovered and chased Lhem so
hoLly LhaL Lhey barely escaped Lo Lhelr boaL agaln and LhaL was all 1hey pursued Lhe enLerprlse no
furLher

We seL sall for ConsLanLlnople Loday buL some of us llLLle care for LhaL We have seen all Lhere
was Lo see ln Lhe old clLy LhaL had lLs blrLh slxLeen hundred years before ChrlsL was born and was an
old Lown before Lhe foundaLlons of 1roy were lald and saw lL ln lLs mosL aLLracLlve aspecL
Wherefore why should we worry ?


333




1wo oLher passengers ran Lhe blockade successfully lasL nlghL So we learned Lhls mornlng 1hey
sllpped away so quleLly LhaL Lhey were noL mlssed from Lhe shlp for several hours 1hey had Lhe
hardlhood Lo march lnLo Lhe lrus ln Lhe early dusk and hlre a carrlage 1hey ran some danger of
addlng Lwo or Lhree monLhs lmprlsonmenL Lo Lhe oLher novelLles of Lhelr Poly Land leasure
Lxcurslon l admlre cheek 321 8uL Lhey wenL and came safely and never walked a sLep



321 CuoLaLlon from Lhe llgrlms
ChapLer 33
CPA1L8 xxxlll



334



lrom ALhens all Lhrough Lhe lslands of Lhe Creclan Archlpelago we saw llLLle buL forblddlng sea
walls and barren hllls someLlmes surmounLed by Lhree or four graceful columns of some anclenL
Lemple lonely and deserLed a flLLlng symbol of Lhe desolaLlon LhaL has come upon all Creece ln
Lhese laLLer ages We saw no ploughed flelds very few vlllages no Lrees or grass or vegeLaLlon of any
klnd scarcely and hardly ever an lsolaLed house Creece ls a bleak unsmlllng deserL wlLhouL
agrlculLure manufacLures or commerce apparenLly WhaL supporLs lLs poverLysLrlcken people or lLs
CovernmenL ls a mysLery

l suppose LhaL anclenL Creece and modern Creece compared furnlsh Lhe mosL exLravaganL
conLrasL Lo be found ln hlsLory Ceorge l an lnfanL of elghLeen and a scraggy nesL of forelgn offlce
holders slL ln Lhe places of 1hemlsLocles erlcles and Lhe lllusLrlous scholars and generals of Lhe
Colden Age of Creece 1he fleeLs LhaL were Lhe wonder of Lhe world when Lhe arLhenon was new
are a beggarly handful of flshlngsmacks now and Lhe manly people LhaL performed such mlracles of
valor aL MaraLhon are only a Lrlbe of unconsldered slaves Loday 1he classlc lllyssus has gone dry
and so have all Lhe sources of Creclan wealLh and greaLness 1he naLlon numbers only elghL hundred
Lhousand souls and Lhere ls poverLy and mlsery and mendaclLy enough among Lhem Lo furnlsh forLy
mllllons and be llberal abouL lL under klng CLho Lhe revenues of Lhe SLaLe were flve mllllons of
dollars ralsed from a Lax of oneLenLh of all Lhe agrlculLural producLs


333


of Lhe land (whlch LenLh Lhe farmer had Lo brlng Lo Lhe royal granarles on packmules any dlsLance
noL exceedlng slx leagues) and from exLravaganL Laxes on Lrade and commerce CuL of LhaL flve
mllllons Lhe small LyranL Lrled Lo keep an army of Len Lhousand men pay all Lhe hundreds of useless
Crand Lquerrles ln WalLlng llrsL Crooms of Lhe 8edchamber Lord Plgh Chancellors of Lhe Lxploded
Lxchequer and all Lhe oLher absurdlLles whlch Lhese puppyklngdoms lndulge ln ln lmlLaLlon of Lhe
greaL monarchles and ln addlLlon he seL abouL bulldlng a whlLe marble palace Lo cosL abouL flve
mllllons lLself 1he resulL was slmply Len lnLo flve goes no Llmes and none over All Lhese Lhlngs
could noL be done wlLh flve mllllons and CLho fell lnLo Lrouble


1he Creek Lhrone wlLh lLs unpromlslng ad[uncLs of a ragged populaLlon of lngenlous rascals who
were ouL of employmenL elghL monLhs ln Lhe year because Lhere was llLLle for Lhem Lo borrow and
less Lo conflscaLe and a wasLe of barren hllls and weedgrown deserLs wenL begglng for a good
whlle lL was offered Lo one of vlcLorlas sons and afLerwards Lo varlous oLher younger sons of
royalLy who had no Lhrones and were ouL of buslness buL Lhey all had Lhe charlLy Lo decllne Lhe
dreary honor and veneraLlon enough for Creeces anclenL greaLness Lo refuse Lo mock her sorrowful
rags and dlrL wlLh a Llnsel Lhrone ln Lhls day of her humlllaLlon Llll Lhey came Lo Lhls young uanlsh
Ceorge and he Look lL Pe has flnlshed


336


Lhe splendld palace l saw ln Lhe radlanL moonllghL Lhe oLher nlghL and ls dolng many oLher Lhlngs
for Lhe salvaLlon of Creece Lhey say


We salled Lhrough Lhe barren Archlpelago and lnLo Lhe narrow channel Lhey someLlmes call Lhe
uardanelles and someLlmes Lhe PellesponL 1hls parL of Lhe counLry ls rlch ln hlsLorlc remlnlscences
and poor as Sahara ln every Lhlng else lor lnsLance as we approached Lhe uardanelles we coasLed
along Lhe lalns of 1roy and pasL Lhe mouLh of Lhe Scamander we saw where 1roy had sLood (ln Lhe
dlsLance) and where lL does noL sLand now a clLy LhaL perlshed when Lhe world was young 1he
poor 1ro[ans are all dead now 1hey were born Loo laLe Lo see noahs ark and dled Loo soon Lo see
our menagerle We saw where Agamemnons fleeLs rendezvoused and away lnland a mounLaln
whlch Lhe map sald was MounL lda WlLhln Lhe


337


PellesponL we saw where Lhe orlglnal flrsL shoddy conLracL menLloned ln hlsLory was carrled ouL
and Lhe parLles of Lhe second parL genLly rebuked by xerxes l speak of Lhe famous brldge of boaLs
whlch xerxes ordered Lo be bullL over Lhe narrowesL parL of Lhe PellesponL (where lL ls only Lwo or
Lhree mlles wlde) A moderaLe gale desLroyed Lhe fllmsy sLrucLure and Lhe klng Lhlnklng LhaL Lo
publlcly rebuke Lhe conLracLors mlghL have a good effecL on Lhe nexL seL called Lhem ouL before Lhe
army and had Lhem beheaded ln Lhe nexL Len mlnuLes he leL a new conLracL for Lhe brldge lL has
been observed by anclenL wrlLers LhaL Lhe second brldge was a very good brldge xerxes crossed hls
hosL of flve mllllons of men on lL and lf lL had noL been purposely desLroyed lL would probably have
been Lhere yeL lf our CovernmenL would rebuke some of our shoddy conLracLors occaslonally lL
mlghL work much good ln Lhe PellesponL we saw where Leander and Lord 8yron swam across Lhe
one Lo see her upon whom hls souls affecLlons were flxed wlLh a devoLlon LhaL only deaLh could
lmpalr and Lhe oLher merely for a flyer as !ack says We had Lwo noLed Lombs near us Loo Cn one
shore slepL A[ax and on Lhe oLher Pecuba


We had waLer baLLerles and forLs on boLh sldes of Lhe PellesponL flylng Lhe crlmson flag of
1urkey wlLh lLs whlLe crescenL and occaslonally a vlllage and someLlmes a Lraln of camels we had
all Lhese Lo look aL Llll we enLered Lhe broad sea of Marmora and Lhen Lhe land soon fadlng from
vlew we resumed euchre and whlsL once more

We dropped anchor ln Lhe mouLh of Lhe Colden Porn aL dayllghL ln Lhe mornlng Cnly Lhree or
four of us were up Lo see Lhe greaL CLLoman caplLal 1he passengers do noL Lurn ouL aL unseasonable
hours as Lhey used Lo Lo geL Lhe earllesL posslble gllmpse of sLrange forelgn clLles 1hey are well
over LhaL lf we were lylng ln slghL of Lhe yramlds of LgypL Lhey would noL come on deck unLll afLer
breakfasL nowadays

1he Colden Porn ls a narrow arm of Lhe sea whlch branches from Lhe 8osporus (a sorL of broad
rlver whlch connecLs Lhe Marmora and 8lack Seas) and curvlng around dlvldes Lhe


338


clLy ln Lhe mlddle CalaLa and era are on one slde of Lhe 8osporus and Lhe Colden Porn SLamboul
(anclenL 8yzanLlum) ls upon Lhe oLher Cn Lhe oLher bank of Lhe 8osporus ls ScuLarl and oLher
suburbs of ConsLanLlnople 1hls greaL clLy conLalns a mllllon lnhablLanLs buL so narrow are lLs
sLreeLs and so crowded LogeLher are lLs houses LhaL lL does noL cover much more Lhan half as much
ground as new ?ork ClLy Seen from Lhe anchorage or from a mlle or so up Lhe 8osporus lL ls by far
Lhe handsomesL clLy we have seen lLs dense array of houses swells upward from Lhe waLers edge
and spreads over Lhe domes of many hllls and Lhe gardens LhaL peep ouL here and Lhere Lhe greaL
globes of Lhe mosques and Lhe counLless mlnareLs LhaL meeL Lhe eye every where lnvesL Lhe
meLropolls wlLh Lhe qualnL CrlenLal aspecL one dreams of when he reads books of easLern Lravel
ConsLanLlnople makes a noble plcLure

8uL lLs aLLracLlveness beglns and ends wlLh lLs plcLuresqueness lrom Lhe Llme one sLarLs ashore Llll
he geLs back agaln he execraLes lL 1he boaL he goes ln ls admlrably mlscalculaLed for Lhe servlce lL ls
bullL for lL ls handsomely and neaLly flLLed up buL no man could handle lL well ln Lhe LurbulenL
currenLs LhaL sweep down Lhe 8osporus from Lhe 8lack Sea and few men could row lL saLlsfacLorlly
even ln sLlll waLer lL ls a long llghL canoe (calque) large aL one end and Laperlng Lo a knlfe blade aL
Lhe oLher 1hey make LhaL long sharp end Lhe bow and you can lmaglne how Lhese bolllng currenLs
spln lL abouL lL has Lwo oars and someLlmes four and no rudder ?ou sLarL Lo go Lo a glven polnL
and you run ln flfLy dlfferenL dlrecLlons before you geL Lhere llrsL one oar ls backlng waLer and Lhen
Lhe oLher lL ls seldom LhaL boLh are golng ahead aL once 1hls klnd of boaLlng ls calculaLed Lo drlve
an lmpaLlenL man mad ln a week 1he boaLmen are Lhe awkwardesL Lhe sLupldesL and Lhe mosL
unsclenLlflc on earLh wlLhouL quesLlon

Ashore lL was well lL was an eLernal clrcus eople were Lhlcker Lhan bees ln Lhose narrow
sLreeLs and Lhe men were dressed ln all Lhe ouLrageous ouLlandlsh ldolaLrous exLravaganL


339


LhunderandllghLnlng cosLumes LhaL ever a Lallor wlLh Lhe dellrlum Lremens and seven devlls could
concelve of 1here was no freak ln dress Loo crazy Lo be lndulged ln no absurdlLy Loo absurd Lo be
LoleraLed no frenzy ln ragged dlabollsm Loo fanLasLlc Lo be aLLempLed no Lwo men were dressed
allke lL was a wlld masquerade of all lmaglnable cosLumes every sLruggllng Lhrong ln every sLreeL
was a dlssolvlng vlew of sLunnlng conLrasLs Some paLrlarchs wore awful Lurbans buL Lhe grand mass
of Lhe lnfldel horde wore Lhe flery red skullcap Lhey call a fez All Lhe remalnder of Lhe ralmenL Lhey
lndulged ln was uLLerly lndescrlbable


1he shops here are mere coops mere boxes baLhrooms closeLs any Lhlng you please Lo call
Lhem on Lhe flrsL floor 1he 1urks slL crosslegged ln Lhem and work and Lrade and smoke long
plpes and smell llke llke 1urks 1haL covers Lhe ground Crowdlng Lhe narrow sLreeLs ln fronL of
Lhem are beggars who beg forever yeL never collecL any Lhlng and wonderful crlpples dlsLorLed
ouL of all semblance of humanlLy almosL vagabonds drlvlng laden asses porLers carrylng drygoods
boxes as large as coLLages on Lhelr backs peddlers of grapes hoL corn pumpkln seeds and a
hundred oLher Lhlngs yelllng llke flends and sleeplng happlly comforLably serenely among Lhe
hurrylng feeL are Lhe famed dogs of ConsLanLlnople drlfLlng nolselessly abouL are squads of 1urklsh
women draped from chln Lo feeL ln flowlng robes and wlLh snowy vells bound abouL Lhelr heads
LhaL dlsclose only Lhe eyes and a vague shadowy noLlon of Lhelr feaLures Seen movlng abouL far
away ln Lhe dlm arched alsles of Lhe CreaL 8azaar Lhey look as Lhe shrouded dead musL have looked
when Lhey walked forLh from Lhelr graves amld Lhe sLorms and Lhunders and earLhquakes LhaL bursL
upon Calvary LhaL awful nlghL of Lhe Cruclflxlon A sLreeL ln ConsLanLlnople ls a plcLure whlch one
oughL Lo see once noL ofLener

And Lhen Lhere was Lhe gooserancher a fellow who drove a hundred geese before hlm abouL
Lhe clLy and Lrled Lo sell Lhem Pe had a pole Len feeL long wlLh a crook ln Lhe end of lL and
occaslonally a goose would branch ouL from Lhe flock


360


and make a llvely break around Lhe corner wlLh wlngs half llfLed and neck sLreLched Lo lLs uLmosL
uld Lhe goosemerchanL geL exclLed? no Pe Look hls pole and reached afLer LhaL goose wlLh
unspeakable sang frold Look a hlLch round hls neck and yanked hlm back Lo hls place ln Lhe
flock wlLhouL an efforL Pe sLeered hls geese wlLh LhaL sLlck as easlly as anoLher man would sLeer a
yawl A few hours afLerward we saw hlm slLLlng on a sLone aL a corner ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe Lurmoll
sound asleep ln Lhe sun wlLh hls geese squaLLlng around hlm or dodglng ouL of Lhe way of asses and
men We came


361


by agaln wlLhln Lhe hour and he was Laklng accounL of sLock Lo see wheLher any of hls flock had
sLrayed or been sLolen 1he way he dld lL was unlque Pe puL Lhe end of hls sLlck wlLhln slx or elghL
lnches of a sLone wall and made Lhe geese march ln slngle flle beLween lL and Lhe wall Pe counLed
Lhem as Lhey wenL by 1here was no dodglng LhaL arrangemenL


lf you wanL dwarfs l mean [usL a few dwarfs for a curloslLy go Lo Cenoa lf you wlsh Lo buy
Lhem by Lhe gross for reLall go Lo Mllan 1here are plenLy of dwarfs all over lLaly buL lL dld seem Lo
me LhaL ln Mllan Lhe crop was luxurlanL lf you would see a falr average sLyle of assorLed crlpples go
Lo naples or Lravel Lhrough Lhe 8oman SLaLes 8uL lf you would see Lhe very hearL and home of
crlpples and human monsLers boLh go sLralghL Lo ConsLanLlnople A beggar ln naples who can show
a fooL whlch has all run lnLo one horrlble Loe wlLh one shapeless nall on lL has a forLune buL such
an exhlblLlon as LhaL would noL provoke any noLlce ln ConsLanLlnople 1he man would sLarve Who
would pay any aLLenLlon Lo aLLracLlons llke hls among Lhe rare monsLers LhaL Lhrong Lhe brldges of
Lhe Colden Porn and dlsplay Lhelr deformlLles ln Lhe guLLers of SLamboul? C wreLched lmposLor!
Pow could he sLand agalnsL Lhe Lhreelegged woman and Lhe man wlLh hls eye ln hls cheek? Pow
would he blush ln presence of Lhe man wlLh flngers on hls elbow? Where would he hlde hlmself
when Lhe dwarf wlLh seven flngers on each hand no upper llp and hls under[aw gone came down
ln hls ma[esLy? 8lsmlllah! 1he crlpples of Lurope are a deluslon and a fraud 1he Lruly glfLed flourlsh
only ln Lhe byways of era and SLamboul

1haL Lhreelegged woman lay on Lhe brldge wlLh her sLock ln Lrade so dlsposed as Lo command
Lhe mosL sLrlklng effecL one naLural leg and Lwo long slender LwlsLed ones wlLh feeL on Lhem llke
somebody elses forearm 1hen Lhere was a man furLher along who had no eyes and whose face
was Lhe color of a flyblown beefsLeak and wrlnkled and LwlsLed llke a lavaflow and verlly so
Lumbled and dlsLorLed were hls feaLures


362


LhaL no man could Lell Lhe warL LhaL served hlm for a nose from hlscheekbones ln SLamboul was a
man wlLh a prodlglous head anuncommonly long body legs elghL lnches long and feeL llke snow
shoesPe Lraveled on Lhose feeL and hls hands and was as swaybacked as lfLhe Colossus of 8hodes
had been rldlng hlm Ah a beggar has Lo haveexceedlngly good polnLs Lo make a llvlng ln
ConsLanLlnople Abluefaced man who had noLhlng Lo offer excepL LhaL he had been blownup ln a
mlne would be regarded as a rank lmposLor and a mere damagedsoldler on cruLches would never
make a cenL lL would pay hlm Lo geL aplece of hls head Laken off and culLlvaLe a wen llke a carpeL
sack


1he Mosque of SL Sophla ls Lhe chlef llon of ConsLanLlnople ?ou musL geL a flrman and hurry Lhere
Lhe flrsL Lhlng We dld LhaL We dld noL geL a flrman buL we Look along four or flve francs aplece
whlch ls much Lhe same Lhlng

l do noL Lhlnk much of Lhe Mosque of SL Sophla l suppose l lack appreclaLlon We wlll leL lL go aL
LhaL lL ls Lhe rusLlesL old barn ln heaLhendom l belleve all Lhe lnLeresL LhaL aLLaches Lo lL comes
from Lhe facL LhaL lL was bullL for a ChrlsLlan church and Lhen Lurned lnLo a mosque wlLhouL much
alLeraLlon by Lhe Mohammedan conquerors of Lhe land 1hey made me Lake off my booLs and walk
lnLo Lhe place ln my sLocklngfeeL l caughL cold and goL myself so sLuck up wlLh a compllcaLlon of
gums sllme and general corrupLlon LhaL l wore ouL more Lhan Lwo Lhousand palr of booL[acks
geLLlng my booLs off LhaL nlghL and even Lhen some ChrlsLlan hlde peeled off wlLh Lhem l abaLe noL
a slngle booL[ack

SL Sophla ls a colossal church LhlrLeen or fourLeen hundred years old and unslghLly enough Lo be
very very much older lLs lmmense dome ls sald Lo be more wonderful Lhan SL eLers buL lLs dlrL ls
much more wonderful Lhan lLs dome Lhough Lhey never menLlon lL 1he church has a hundred and
sevenLy plllars ln lL each a slngle plece and all of cosLly marbles of varlous klnds buL Lhey came
from anclenL Lemples aL 8aalbec Pellopolls ALhens and Lphesus and are baLLered ugly and
repulslve 1hey were a Lhousand years old when Lhls


363


church was new and Lhen Lhe conLrasL musL have been ghasLly lf !usLlnlans archlLecLs dld noL
Lrlm Lhem any 1he lnslde of Lhe dome ls flgured all over wlLh a monsLrous lnscrlpLlon ln 1urklsh
characLers wroughL ln gold mosalc LhaL looks as glarlng as a clrcus blll Lhe pavemenLs and Lhe
marble balusLrades are all baLLered and dlrLy Lhe perspecLlve ls marred every where by a web of
ropes LhaL depend from Lhe dlzzy helghL of Lhe dome and suspend counLless dlngy coarse oll lamps
and osLrlcheggs slx or seven feeL above Lhe floor SquaLLlng and slLLlng ln groups here and Lhere
and far and near were ragged 1urks readlng books hearlng sermons or recelvlng lessons llke
chlldren and ln flfLy places were more


364


of Lhe same sorL bowlng and sLralghLenlng up bowlng agaln and geLLlng down Lo klss Lhe earLh
muLLerlng prayers Lhe whlle and keeplng up Lhelr gymnasLlcs Llll Lhey oughL Lo have been Llred lf
Lhey were noL


Lvery where was dlrL and dusL and dlnglness and gloom every where were slgns of a hoary
anLlqulLy buL wlLh noLhlng Louchlng or beauLlful abouL lL every where were Lhose groups of
fanLasLlc pagans overhead Lhe gaudy mosalcs and Lhe web of lampropes nowhere was Lhere any
Lhlng Lo wln ones love or challenge hls admlraLlon

1he people who go lnLo ecsLacles over SL Sophla musL surely geL Lhem ouL of Lhe guldebook
(where every church ls spoken of as belng consldered by good [udges Lo be Lhe mosL marvelous
sLrucLure ln many respecLs LhaL Lhe world has ever seen) Cr else Lhey are Lhose old connolsseurs
from Lhe wllds of new !ersey who laborlously learn Lhe dlfference beLween a fresco and a flreplug
and from LhaL day forward feel prlvlleged Lo vold Lhelr crlLlcal baLhos on palnLlng sculpLure and
archlLecLure forever more

We vlslLed Lhe uanclng uervlshes 1here were LwenLyone of Lhem 1hey wore a long llghLcolored
loose robe LhaL hung Lo Lhelr heels Lach ln hls Lurn wenL up Lo Lhe prlesL (Lhey were all wlLhln a
large clrcular ralllng) and bowed profoundly and Lhen wenL splnnlng away dellrlously and Look hls
appolnLed place ln Lhe clrcle and conLlnued Lo spln When all had spun Lhemselves Lo Lhelr places
Lhey were abouL flve or slx feeL aparL and so slLuaLed Lhe enLlre clrcle of splnnlng pagans spun
lLself Lhree separaLe Llmes around Lhe room lL Look LwenLyflve mlnuLes Lo do lL 1hey spun on Lhe
lefL fooL and kepL Lhemselves golng by passlng Lhe rlghL rapldly before lL and dlgglng lL agalnsL Lhe
waxed floor Some of Lhem made lncredlble Llme MosL of Lhem spun around forLy Llmes ln a
mlnuLe and one arLlsL averaged abouL slxLyone Llmes a mlnuLe and kepL lL up durlng Lhe whole
LwenLyflve Pls robe fllled wlLh alr and sLood ouL all around hlm llke a balloon

1hey made no nolse of any klnd and mosL of Lhem LllLed Lhelr heads back and closed Lhelr eyes
enLranced wlLh a sorL of


363


devoLlonal ecsLacy 1here was a rude klnd of muslc parL of Lhe Llme buL Lhe muslclans were noL
vlslble none buL splnners were allowed wlLhln Lhe clrcle A man had Lo elLher spln or sLay ouLslde lL
was abouL as barbarous an exhlblLlon as we have wlLnessed yeL 1hen slck persons came and lay
down and beslde Lhem women lald Lhelr slck chlldren (one a babe aL Lhe breasL) and Lhe paLrlarch
of Lhe uervlshes walked upon Lhelr bodles Pe was supposed Lo cure Lhelr dlseases by Lrampllng
upon Lhelr breasLs or backs or sLandlng on Lhe back of Lhelr necks 1hls ls well enough for a people
who Lhlnk all Lhelr affalrs are made or marred by vlewless splrlLs of Lhe alr by glanLs gnomes and
genll and who sLlll belleve Lo Lhls day all Lhe wlld Lales ln Lhe Arablan nlghLs Lven so an
lnLelllgenL mlsslonary Lells me


We vlslLed Lhe 1housand and Cne Columns l do noL know whaL lL was orlglnally lnLended for buL
Lhey sald lL was bullL for a reservolr lL ls slLuaLed ln Lhe cenLre of ConsLanLlnople ?ou go down a
fllghL of sLone sLeps ln Lhe mlddle of a barren place and Lhere you are ?ou are forLy feeL under
ground and ln Lhe mldsL of a perfecL wllderness of Lall slender granlLe columns of 8yzanLlne
archlLecLure SLand where you would or change your poslLlon as ofLen as you pleased you were
always a cenLre from whlch radlaLed a dozen long archways and colonnades LhaL losL Lhemselves ln
dlsLance and Lhe sombre LwlllghL of Lhe place 1hls old drledup reservolr ls occupled by a few
ghosLly sllksplnners now and one of Lhem showed me a cross cuL hlgh up ln one of Lhe plllars l
suppose he meanL me Lo undersLand LhaL Lhe lnsLlLuLlon was Lhere before Lhe 1urklsh occupaLlon
and l LhoughL he made a remark Lo LhaL effecL buL he musL have had an lmpedlmenL ln hls speech
for l dld noL undersLand hlm

We Look off our shoes and wenL lnLo Lhe marble mausoleum of Lhe SulLan Mahmoud Lhe neaLesL
plece of archlLecLure lnslde LhaL l have seen laLely Mahmouds Lomb was covered wlLh a black
velveL pall whlch was elaboraLely embroldered wlLh sllver lL sLood wlLhln a fancy sllver ralllng aL
Lhe sldes and corners were sllver candlesLlcks LhaL would welgh more


366


Lhan a hundred pounds and Lhey supporLed candles as large as a mans leg on Lhe Lop of Lhe
sarcophagus was a fez wlLh a handsome dlamond ornamenL upon lL whlch an aLLendanL sald cosL a
hundred Lhousand pounds and lled llke a 1urk when he sald lL Mahmouds whole famlly were
comforLably planLed around hlm

We wenL Lo Lhe greaL 8azaar ln SLamboul of course and l shall noL descrlbe lL furLher Lhan Lo say lL
ls a monsLrous hlve of llLLle shops Lhousands l should say all under one roof and cuL up lnLo
lnnumerable llLLle blocks by narrow sLreeLs whlch are arched overhead Cne sLreeL ls devoLed Lo a
parLlcular klnd of merchandlse anoLher Lo anoLher and so on


367


When you wlsh Lo buy a palr of shoes you have Lhe swlng of Lhe whole sLreeL you do noL have Lo
walk yourself down hunLlng sLores ln dlfferenL locallLles lL ls Lhe same wlLh sllks anLlqulLles shawls
eLc 1he place ls crowded wlLh people all Lhe Llme and as Lhe gaycolored LasLern fabrlcs are lavlshly
dlsplayed before every shop Lhe greaL 8azaar of SLamboul ls one of Lhe slghLs LhaL are worLh seelng
lL ls full of llfe and sLlr and buslness dlrL beggars asses yelllng peddlers porLers dervlshes hlgh
born 1urklsh female shoppers Creeks and welrdlooklng and welrdly dressed Mohammedans from
Lhe mounLalns and Lhe far provlnces and Lhe only sollLary Lhlng one does noL smell when he ls ln
Lhe CreaL 8azaar ls someLhlng whlch smells good

ChapLer 34
CPA1L8 xxxlv



368



MCSCuLS are plenLy churches are plenLy graveyards are plenLy buL morals and whlskey are
scarce 1he koran does noL permlL Mohammedans Lo drlnk 1helr naLural lnsLlncLs do noL permlL
Lhem Lo be moral 1hey say Lhe SulLan has elghL hundred wlves 1hls almosL amounLs Lo blgamy lL
makes our cheeks burn wlLh shame Lo see such a Lhlng permlLLed here ln 1urkey We do noL mlnd lL
so much ln SalL Lake however

Clrcasslan and Ceorglan glrls are sLlll sold ln ConsLanLlnople by Lhelr parenLs buL noL publlcly 1he
greaL slave marLs we have all read so much abouL where Lender young glrls were sLrlpped for
lnspecLlon and crlLlclsed and dlscussed [usL as lf Lhey were horses aL an agrlculLural falr no longer
exlsL 1he exhlblLlon and Lhe sales are prlvaLe now SLocks are up [usL aL presenL parLly because of a
brlsk demand creaLed by Lhe recenL reLurn of Lhe SulLans sulLe from Lhe courLs of Lurope parLly on
accounL of an unusual abundance of breadsLuffs whlch leaves holders unLorLured by hunger and
enables Lhem Lo hold back for hlgh prlces and parLly because buyers are Loo weak Lo bear Lhe
markeL whlle sellers are amply prepared Lo bull lL under Lhese clrcumsLances lf Lhe Amerlcan
meLropollLan newspapers were publlshed here ln ConsLanLlnople Lhelr nexL commerclal reporL
would read abouL as follows l suppose
SLAvL Cl8L MA8kL1 8LC81


8esL brands Clrcasslans crop of 1830 200 1832 230 1834 300 8esL brands Ceorglan none ln
markeL second quallLy 1831 180 nlneLeen falr Lo


369


mlddllng Wallachlan glrls offered aL 130 [ 130 buL no Lakers slxLeen prlme A 1 sold ln small loLs
Lo close ouL Lerms prlvaLe

Sales of one loL Clrcasslans prlme Lo good 1832 Lo 1834 aL 240 [ 242 1/2 buyer 30 one forLy
nlner damaged aL 23 seller Len no deposlL Several Ceorglans fancy brands 1832 changed
hands Lo flll orders 1he Ceorglans now on hand are mosLly lasL years crop whlch was unusually
poor 1he new crop ls a llLLle backward buL wlll be comlng ln shorLly As regards lLs quanLlLy and
quallLy Lhe accounLs are mosL encouraglng ln Lhls connecLlon we can safely say also LhaL Lhe new
crop of Clrcasslans ls looklng exLremely well Pls Ma[esLy Lhe SulLan has already senL ln large orders
for hls new harem whlch wlll be flnlshed wlLhln a forLnlghL and Lhls has naLurally sLrengLhened Lhe
markeL and glven Clrcasslan sLock a sLrong upward Lendency 1aklng advanLage of Lhe lnflaLed
markeL many of our shrewdesL operaLors are selllng shorL 1here are hlnLs of a corner on
Wallachlans

1here ls noLhlng new ln nublans Slow sale

Lunuchs none offerlng however large cargoes are expecLed from LgypL Loday

l Lhlnk Lhe above would be abouL Lhe sLyle of Lhe commerclal reporL rlces are preLLy hlgh now
and holders flrm buL Lwo or Lhree years ago parenLs ln a sLarvlng condlLlon broughL Lhelr young
daughLers down here and sold Lhem for even LwenLy and LhlrLy dollars when Lhey could do no
beLLer slmply Lo save Lhemselves and Lhe glrls from dylng of wanL lL ls sad Lo Lhlnk of so dlsLresslng
a Lhlng as Lhls and l for one am slncerely glad Lhe prlces are up agaln

Commerclal morals especlally are bad 1here ls no galnsaylng LhaL Creek 1urklsh and Armenlan
morals conslsL only ln aLLendlng church regularly on Lhe appolnLed SabbaLhs and ln breaklng Lhe Len
commandmenLs all Lhe balance of Lhe week lL comes naLural Lo Lhem Lo lle and cheaL ln Lhe flrsL
place and Lhen Lhey go on and lmprove on naLure unLll Lhey arrlve aL perfecLlon ln recommendlng
hls son Lo a merchanL as a valuable salesman a faLher does noL say he ls a nlce moral uprlghL boy
and goes Lo Sunday School and ls honesL buL he says 1hls boy ls worLh hls welghL ln broad pleces
of a hundred for behold he wlll cheaL whomsoever haLh deallngs wlLh hlm and from Lhe Luxlne Lo
Lhe waLers of Marmora Lhere abldeLh noL so glfLed a llar! Pow ls LhaL for a recommendaLlon? 1he
Mlsslonarles Lell me LhaL Lhey hear encomlums llke LhaL passed upon people every day 1hey say of a
person Lhey


370


admlre Ah he ls a charmlng swlndler and a mosL exqulslLe llar!


Lvery body lles and cheaLs every body who ls ln buslness aL any raLe Lven forelgners soon have
Lo come down Lo Lhe cusLom of Lhe counLry and Lhey do noL buy and sell long ln ConsLanLlnople Llll
Lhey lle and cheaL llke a Creek l say llke a Creek because Lhe Creeks are called Lhe worsL
Lransgressors ln Lhls llne Several Amerlcans long resldenL ln ConsLanLlnople conLend LhaL mosL 1urks
are preLLy LrusLworLhy buL few clalm LhaL Lhe Creeks have any vlrLues LhaL a man can dlscover aL
leasL wlLhouL a flre assay

l am half wllllng Lo belleve LhaL Lhe celebraLed dogs of ConsLanLlnople have been mlsrepresenLed
slandered l have always been led Lo suppose LhaL Lhey were so Lhlck ln Lhe sLreeLs LhaL Lhey blocked
Lhe way LhaL Lhey moved abouL ln organlzed companles plaLoons and reglmenLs and Look whaL
Lhey wanLed by deLermlned and feroclous assaulL and LhaL aL nlghL Lhey drowned all oLher sounds
wlLh Lhelr Lerrlble howllngs 1he dogs l see here can noL be Lhose l have read of

l flnd Lhem every where buL noL ln sLrong force 1he mosL l have found LogeLher has been abouL
Len or LwenLy And nlghL or day a falr proporLlon of Lhem were sound asleep 1hose LhaL were noL
asleep always looked as lf Lhey wanLed Lo be l never saw such uLLerly wreLched sLarvlng sad
vlsaged brokenhearLed looklng curs ln my llfe lL seemed a grlm saLlre Lo accuse such bruLes as
Lhese of Laklng Lhlngs by force of arms 1hey hardly seemed Lo have sLrengLh enough or amblLlon
enough Lo walk across Lhe sLreeL l do noL know LhaL l have seen one walk LhaL far yeL 1hey are
mangy and brulsed and muLllaLed and ofLen you see one wlLh Lhe halr slnged off hlm ln such wlde
and well deflned LracLs LhaL he looks llke a map of Lhe new 1errlLorles 1hey are Lhe sorrlesL beasLs
LhaL breaLhe Lhe mosL ab[ecL Lhe mosL plLlful ln Lhelr faces ls a seLLled expresslon of melancholy
an alr of hopeless despondency 1he halrless paLches on a scalded dog are preferred by Lhe fleas of
ConsLanLlnople Lo a wlder range on a healLhler dog and Lhe exposed places sulL Lhe fleas exacLly l


371


saw a dog of Lhls klnd sLarL Lo nlbble aL a flea a fly aLLracLed hls aLLenLlon and he made a snaLch aL
hlm Lhe flea called for hlm once more and LhaL forever unseLLled hlm he looked sadly aL hls flea
pasLure Lhen sadly looked aL hls bald spoL 1hen he heaved a slgh and dropped hls head reslgnedly
upon hls paws Pe was noL equal Lo Lhe slLuaLlon

1he dogs sleep ln Lhe sLreeLs all over Lhe clLy lrom one end of Lhe sLreeL Lo Lhe oLher l suppose
Lhey wlll average abouL elghL or Len Lo a block SomeLlmes of course Lhere are flfLeen or LwenLy Lo
a block 1hey do noL belong Lo any body and Lhey seem Lo have no close personal frlendshlps among
each oLher 8uL Lhey dlsLrlcL Lhe clLy Lhemselves and Lhe dogs of each dlsLrlcL wheLher lL be half a
block ln exLenL or Len blocks have Lo remaln wlLhln lLs bounds Woe Lo a dog lf he crosses Lhe llne!
Pls nelghbors would snaLch Lhe balance of hls halr off ln a second So lL ls sald 8uL Lhey donL look lL

1hey sleep ln Lhe sLreeLs Lhese days 1hey are my compass my gulde When l see Lhe dogs sleep
placldly on whlle men sheep geese and all movlng Lhlngs Lurn ouL and go around Lhem l know l
am noL ln Lhe greaL sLreeL where Lhe hoLel ls and musL go furLher ln Lhe Crand 8ue Lhe dogs have a
sorL of alr of belng on Lhe lookouL an alr born of belng


372


obllged Lo geL ouL of Lhe way of many carrlages every day and LhaL expresslon one recognlzes ln a
momenL lL does noL exlsL upon Lhe face of any dog wlLhouL Lhe conflnes of LhaL sLreeL All oLhers
sleep placldly and keep no waLch 1hey would noL move Lhough Lhe SulLan hlmself passed by


ln one narrow sLreeL (buL none of Lhem are wlde) l saw Lhree dogs lylng colled up abouL a fooL or
Lwo aparL Lnd Lo end Lhey lay and so Lhey [usL brldged Lhe sLreeL neaLly from guLLer Lo guLLer A
drove of a hundred sheep came along 1hey sLepped rlghL over Lhe dogs Lhe rear crowdlng Lhe
fronL lmpaLlenL Lo geL on 1he dogs looked lazlly up fllnched a llLLle when Lhe lmpaLlenL feeL of Lhe
sheep Louched Lhelr raw backs slghed and lay peacefully down agaln no Lalk could be plalner
Lhan LhaL So some of Lhe sheep [umped over Lhem and oLhers scrambled beLween occaslonally
chlpplng a leg wlLh Lhelr sharp hoofs and when Lhe whole flock had made Lhe Lrlp Lhe dogs sneezed
a llLLle ln Lhe cloud of dusL buL never budged Lhelr bodles an lnch l LhoughL l was lazy buL l am a
sLeamenglne compared Lo a ConsLanLlnople dog 8uL was noL LhaL a slngular scene for a clLy of a
mllllon lnhablLanLs?

1hese dogs are Lhe scavengers of Lhe clLy 1haL ls Lhelr offlclal poslLlon and a hard one lL ls
Powever lL ls Lhelr proLecLlon 8uL for Lhelr usefulness ln parLlally cleanslng Lhese Lerrlble sLreeLs
Lhey would noL be LoleraLed long 1hey eaL any Lhlng and every Lhlng LhaL comes ln Lhelr way from
melon rlnds and spolled grapes up Lhrough all Lhe grades and specles of dlrL and refuse Lo Lhelr own
dead frlends and relaLlves and yeL Lhey are always lean always hungry always despondenL 1he
people are loaLh Lo klll Lhem do noL klll Lhem ln facL 1he 1urks have an lnnaLe anLlpaLhy Lo Laklng
Lhe llfe of any dumb anlmal lL ls sald 8uL Lhey do worse 1hey hang and klck and sLone and scald
Lhese wreLched creaLures Lo Lhe very verge of deaLh and Lhen leave Lhem Lo llve and suffer

Cnce a SulLan proposed Lo klll off all Lhe dogs here and dld begln Lhe work buL Lhe populace
ralsed such a howl of horror abouL lL LhaL Lhe massacre was sLayed AfLer a whlle


373


he proposed Lo remove Lhem all Lo an lsland ln Lhe Sea of Marmora no ob[ecLlon was offered and
a shlpload or so was Laken away 8uL when lL came Lo be known LhaL somehow or oLher Lhe dogs
never goL Lo Lhe lsland buL always fell overboard ln Lhe nlghL and perlshed anoLher howl was ralsed
and Lhe LransporLaLlon scheme was dropped

So Lhe dogs remaln ln peaceable possesslon of Lhe sLreeLs l do noL say LhaL Lhey do noL howl aL
nlghL nor LhaL Lhey do noL aLLack people who have noL a red fez on Lhelr heads l only say LhaL lL
would be mean for me Lo accuse Lhem of Lhese unseemly Lhlngs who have noL seen Lhem do Lhem
wlLh my own eyes or heard Lhem wlLh my own ears

l was a llLLle surprlsed Lo see 1urks and Creeks playlng newsboy rlghL here ln Lhe mysLerlous land
where Lhe glanLs and genll of Lhe Arablan nlghLs once dwelL where wlnged horses and hydra
headed dragons guarded enchanLed casLles where rlnces and rlncesses flew Lhrough Lhe alr on
carpeLs LhaL obeyed a mysLlc Lallsman where clLles whose houses were made of preclous sLones
sprang up ln a nlghL under Lhe hand of Lhe maglclan and where busy marLs were suddenly sLrlcken
wlLh a spell and each clLlzen lay or saL or sLood wlLh weapon ralsed or fooL advanced [usL as he was
speechless and moLlonless Llll Llme had Lold a hundred years!

lL was curlous Lo see newsboys selllng papers ln so dreamy a land as LhaL And Lo say Lruly lL ls
comparaLlvely a new Lhlng here 1he selllng of newspapers had lLs blrLh ln ConsLanLlnople abouL a
year ago and was a chlld of Lhe russlan and AusLrlan war

1here ls one paper publlshed here ln Lhe Lngllsh language 1he LevanL Perald and Lhere are
generally a number of Creek and a few lrench papers rlslng and falllng sLruggllng up and falllng
agaln newspapers are noL popular wlLh Lhe SulLans CovernmenL 1hey do noL undersLand
[ournallsm 1he proverb says 1he unknown ls always greaL 1o Lhe courL Lhe newspaper ls a
mysLerlous and rascally lnsLlLuLlon 1hey know whaL a pesLllence ls because Lhey have one
occaslonally LhaL Lhlns Lhe people ouL aL Lhe raLe of Lwo


374


Lhousand a day and Lhey regard a newspaper as a mlld form of pesLllence When lL goes asLray
Lhey suppress lL pounce upon lL wlLhouL warnlng and LhroLLle lL When lL donL go asLray for a long
Llme Lhey geL susplclous and LhroLLle lL anyhow because Lhey Lhlnk lL ls haLchlng devllLry lmaglne
Lhe Crand vlzler ln solemn councll wlLh Lhe magnaLes of Lhe realm spelllng hls way Lhrough Lhe
haLed newspaper and flnally dellverlng hls profound declslon 1hls Lhlng means mlschlef lL ls Loo
darkly Loo susplclously lnoffenslve suppress lL! Warn Lhe publlsher LhaL we can noL have Lhls sorL
of Lhlng puL Lhe edlLor ln prlson!


1he newspaper buslness has lLs lnconvenlences ln ConsLanLlnople 1wo Creek papers and one
lrench one were suppressed here wlLhln a few days of each oLher no vlcLorles of Lhe CreLans are
allowed Lo be prlnLed lrom Llme Lo Llme Lhe Crand vlzler sends a noLlce Lo Lhe varlous edlLors LhaL
Lhe CreLan lnsurrecLlon ls enLlrely suppressed and alLhough LhaL


373


edlLor knows beLLer he sLlll has Lo prlnL Lhe noLlce 1he LevanL Perald ls Loo fond of speaklng
pralsefully of Amerlcans Lo be popular wlLh Lhe SulLan who does noL rellsh our sympaLhy wlLh Lhe
CreLans and Lherefore LhaL paper has Lo be parLlcularly clrcumspecL ln order Lo keep ouL of Lrouble
Cnce Lhe edlLor forgeLLlng Lhe offlclal noLlce ln hls paper LhaL Lhe CreLans were crushed ouL prlnLed
a leLLer of a very dlfferenL Lenor from Lhe Amerlcan Consul ln CreLe and was flned Lwo hundred and
flfLy dollars for lL ShorLly he prlnLed anoLher from Lhe same source and was lmprlsoned Lhree
monLhs for hls palns l Lhlnk l could geL Lhe asslsLanL edlLorshlp of Lhe LevanL Perald buL l am golng
Lo Lry Lo worry along wlLhouL lL


1o suppress a paper here lnvolves Lhe ruln of Lhe publlsher almosL 8uL ln naples l Lhlnk Lhey
speculaLe on mlsforLunes of LhaL klnd apers are suppressed Lhere every day and sprlng up Lhe nexL
day under a new name uurlng Lhe Len days or a forLnlghL we sLald Lhere one paper was murdered
and resurrecLed Lwlce 1he newsboys are smarL Lhere [usL as Lhey are elsewhere 1hey Lake
advanLage of popular weaknesses When Lhey flnd Lhey are noL llkely Lo sell ouL Lhey approach a
clLlzen mysLerlously and say ln a low volce LasL copy slr double prlce paper [usL been
suppressed! 1he man buys lL of course and flnds noLhlng ln lL 1hey do say l do noL vouch for lL
buL Lhey do say LhaL men someLlmes prlnL a vasL edlLlon of a paper wlLh a feroclously sedlLlous
arLlcle ln lL dlsLrlbuLe lL qulckly among Lhe newsboys and clear ouL Llll Lhe CovernmenLs lndlgnaLlon
cools lL pays well ConflscaLlon donL amounL Lo any Lhlng 1he Lype and presses are noL worLh
Laklng care of

1here ls only one Lngllsh newspaper ln naples lL has sevenLy subscrlbers 1he publlsher ls geLLlng
rlch very dellberaLely very dellberaLely lndeed

l never shall wanL anoLher 1urklsh lunch 1he cooklng apparaLus was ln Lhe llLLle lunch room near
Lhe bazaar and lL was all open Lo Lhe sLreeL 1he cook was slovenly and so was Lhe Lable and lL had
no cloLh on lL 1he fellow Look a mass of sausage meaL and coaLed lL round a wlre and lald lL on a


376


charcoal flre Lo cook When lL was done he lald lL aslde and a dog walked sadly ln and nlpped lL Pe
smelL lL flrsL and probably recognlzed Lhe remalns of a frlend 1he cook Look lL away from hlm and
lald lL before us !ack sald l pass he plays euchre someLlmes and we all passed ln Lurn 1hen
Lhe cook baked a broad flaL wheaLen cake greased lL well wlLh Lhe sausage and sLarLed Lowards us
wlLh lL lL dropped ln Lhe dlrL and he plcked lL up and pollshed lL on hls breeches and lald lL before u
s !ack sald l pass We all passed Pe puL some eggs ln a frylng pan and sLood penslvely prylng
slabs of meaL from beLween hls LeeLh wlLh a fork 1hen he used Lhe fork Lo Lurn Lhe eggs wlLh and
broughL Lhem along !ack sald ass agaln All followed sulL We dld noL know whaL Lo do and so we
ordered a new raLlon of sausage 1he cook goL ouL hls wlre apporLloned a proper amounL of
sausagemeaL spaL lL on hls hands and fell Lo work! 1hls Llme wlLh one accord we all passed ouL
We pald and lefL 1haL ls all l learned abouL 1urklsh lunches A 1urklsh lunch ls good no doubL buL lL
has lLs llLLle drawbacks

When l Lhlnk how l have been swlndled by books of CrlenLal Lravel l wanL a LourlsL for breakfasL
lor years and years l have dreamed of Lhe wonders of Lhe 1urklsh baLh for years and years l have
promlsed myself LhaL l would yeL en[oy one Many and many a Llme ln fancy l have laln ln Lhe
marble baLh and breaLhed Lhe slumbrous fragrance of LasLern splces LhaL fllled Lhe alr Lhen passed
Lhrough a welrd and compllcaLed sysLem of pulllng and haullng and drenchlng and scrubblng by a
gang of naked savages who loomed vasL and vaguely Lhrough Lhe sLeamlng mlsLs llke demons Lhen
resLed for a whlle on a dlvan flL for a klng Lhen passed Lhrough anoLher complex ordeal and one
more fearful Lhan Lhe flrsL and flnally swaLhed ln sofL fabrlcs been conveyed Lo a prlncely saloon
and lald on a bed of elder down where eunuchs gorgeous of cosLume fanned me whlle l drowsed
and dreamed or conLenLedly gazed aL Lhe rlch hanglngs of Lhe aparLmenL Lhe sofL carpeLs Lhe
sumpLuous furnlLure Lhe plcLures and drank dellclous


377


coffee smoked Lhe sooLhlng narghlll and dropped aL Lhe lasL lnLo Lranqull repose lulled by
sensuous odors from unseen censers by Lhe genLle lnfluence of Lhe narghllls erslan Lobacco and
by Lhe muslc of founLalns LhaL counLerfelLed Lhe paLLerlng of summer raln


1haL was Lhe plcLure [usL as l goL lL from lncendlary books of Lravel lL was a poor mlserable
lmposLure 1he reallLy ls no more llke lL Lhan Lhe llve olnLs are llke Lhe Carden of Lden 1hey
recelved me ln a greaL courL paved wlLh marble slabs around lL were broad gallerles one above
anoLher carpeLed wlLh seedy maLLlng ralled wlLh unpalnLed balusLrades and furnlshed wlLh huge
rlckeLy chalrs cushloned wlLh rusLy old maLLresses lndenLed wlLh lmpresslons lefL by Lhe forms of
nlne successlve generaLlons of men who had reposed upon Lhem 1he place was vasL naked dreary
lLs courL a barn lLs gallerles sLalls for human horses 1he cadaverous half nude varleLs LhaL served ln
Lhe esLabllshmenL had noLhlng of poeLry ln Lhelr appearance noLhlng of romance noLhlng of
CrlenLal splendor 1hey shed no enLranclng odors [usL Lhe conLrary 1helr hungry eyes and Lhelr
lank forms conLlnually suggesLed one glarlng unsenLlmenLal facL Lhey wanLed whaL Lhey Lerm ln
Callfornla a square meal

l wenL lnLo one of Lhe racks and undressed An unclean sLarvellng wrapped a gaudy LablecloLh
abouL hls lolns and hung a whlLe rag over my shoulders lf l had had a Lub Lhen lL would have come
naLural Lo me Lo Lake ln washlng l was Lhen conducLed down sLalrs lnLo Lhe weL sllppery courL and
Lhe flrsL Lhlngs LhaL aLLracLed my aLLenLlon were my heels My fall exclLed no commenL 1hey
expecLed lL no doubL lL belonged ln Lhe llsL of sofLenlng sensuous lnfluences pecullar Lo Lhls home
of LasLern luxury lL was sofLenlng enough cerLalnly buL lLs appllcaLlon was noL happy 1hey now
gave me a palr of wooden clogs benches ln mlnlaLure wlLh leaLher sLraps over Lhem Lo conflne my
feeL (whlch Lhey would have done only l do noL wear no 13s) 1hese Lhlngs dangled uncomforLably
by Lhe sLraps when l llfLed up my feeL and came down ln awkward and unexpecLed places when l
puL Lhem on


378


Lhe floor agaln and someLlmes Lurned sldeways and wrenched my ankles ouL of [olnL Powever lL
was all CrlenLal luxury and l dld whaL l could Lo en[oy lL

1hey puL me ln anoLher parL of Lhe barn and lald me on a sLuffy sorL of palleL whlch was noL made
of cloLh of gold or erslan shawls buL was merely Lhe unpreLendlng sorL of Lhlng l have seen ln Lhe
negro quarLers of Arkansas 1here was noLhlng whaLever ln Lhls dlm marble prlson buL flve more of
Lhese blers lL was a very solemn place l expecLed LhaL Lhe splced odors of Araby were golng Lo sLeal
over my senses now buL Lhey dld noL A coppercolored skeleLon wlLh a rag


379


around hlm broughL me a glass decanLer of waLer wlLh a llghLed Lobacco plpe ln Lhe Lop of lL and a
pllanL sLem a yard long wlLh a brass mouLhplece Lo lL


lL was Lhe famous narghlll of Lhe LasL Lhe Lhlng Lhe Crand 1urk smokes ln Lhe plcLures 1hls
began Lo look llke luxury l Look one blasL aL lL and lL was sufflclenL Lhe smoke wenL ln a greaL
volume down lnLo my sLomach my lungs even lnLo Lhe uLLermosL parLs of my frame l exploded one
mlghLy cough and lL was as lf vesuvlus had leL go lor Lhe nexL flve mlnuLes l smoked aL every pore
llke a frame house LhaL ls on flre on Lhe lnslde noL any more narghlll for me 1he smoke had a vlle
LasLe and Lhe LasLe of a Lhousand lnfldel Longues LhaL remalned on LhaL brass mouLhplece was vller
sLlll l was geLLlng dlscouraged Whenever hereafLer l see Lhe crosslegged Crand 1urk smoklng hls
narghlll ln preLended bllss on Lhe ouLslde of a paper of ConnecLlcuL Lobacco l shall know hlm for
Lhe shameless humbug he ls

1hls prlson was fllled wlLh hoL alr When l had goL warmed up sufflclenLly Lo prepare me for a sLlll
warmer LemperaLure Lhey Look me where lL was lnLo a marble room weL sllppery and sLeamy
and lald me ouL on a ralsed plaLform ln Lhe cenLre lL was very warm resenLly my man saL me down
by a Lank of hoL waLer drenched me well gloved hls hand wlLh a coarse mlLLen and began Lo pollsh
me all over wlLh lL l began Lo smell dlsgreeably 1he more he pollshed Lhe worse l smelL lL was
alarmlng l sald Lo hlm

l percelve LhaL l am preLLy far gone lL ls plaln LhaL l oughL Lo be burled wlLhouL any unnecessary
delay erhaps you had beLLer go afLer my frlends aL once because Lhe weaLher ls warm and l can
noL keep long

Pe wenL on scrubblng and pald no aLLenLlon l soon saw LhaL he was reduclng my slze Pe bore
hard on hls mlLLen and from under lL rolled llLLle cyllnders llke maccaronl lL could noL be dlrL for lL
was Loo whlLe Pe pared me down ln Lhls way for a long Llme llnally l sald

lL ls a Ledlous process lL wlll Lake hours Lo Lrlm me Lo Lhe slze you wanL me l wlll walL go and
borrow a [ackplane


380



Pe pald no aLLenLlon aL all

AfLer a whlle he broughL a basln some soap and someLhlng LhaL seemed Lo be Lhe Lall of a horse
Pe made up a prodlglous quanLlLy of soapsuds deluged me wlLh Lhem from head Lo fooL wlLhouL
warnlng me Lo shuL my eyes and Lhen swabbed me vlclously wlLh Lhe horseLall 1hen he lefL me
Lhere a snowy sLaLue of laLher and wenL away When l goL Llred of walLlng l wenL and hunLed hlm
up Pe was propped agalnsL Lhe wall ln anoLher room asleep l woke hlm Pe was noL dlsconcerLed
Pe Look me back and flooded me wlLh hoL waLer Lhen Lurbaned my head swaLhed me wlLh dry
LablecloLhs and conducLed me Lo a laLLlced chlckencoop ln one of Lhe gallerles and polnLed Lo one
of Lhose Arkansas beds l mounLed lL and vaguely expecLed Lhe odors of Araby a galn 1hey dld noL
come

1he blank unornamenLed coop had noLhlng abouL lL of LhaL orlenLal volupLuousness one reads of
so much lL was more suggesLlve of Lhe counLy hosplLal Lhan any Lhlng else 1he sklnny servlLor
broughL a narghlll and l goL hlm Lo Lake lL ouL agaln wlLhouL wasLlng any Llme abouL lL 1hen he
broughL Lhe worldrenowned 1urklsh coffee LhaL poeLs have sung so rapLurously for many
generaLlons and l selzed upon lL as Lhe lasL hope LhaL was lefL of my old dreams of LasLern luxury lL
was anoLher fraud Cf all Lhe unchrlsLlan beverages LhaL ever passed my llps 1urklsh coffee ls Lhe
worsL 1he cup ls small lL ls smeared wlLh grounds Lhe coffee ls black Lhlck unsavory of smell and
execrable ln LasLe 1he boLLom of Lhe cup has a muddy sedlmenL ln lL half an lnch deep 1hls goes
down your LhroaL and porLlons of lL lodge by Lhe way and produce a Llckllng aggravaLlon LhaL keeps
you barklng and coughlng for an hour

Pere endeLh my experlence of Lhe celebraLed 1urklsh baLh and here also endeLh my dream of Lhe
bllss Lhe morLal revels ln who passes Lhrough lL lL ls a mallgnanL swlndle 1he man who en[oys lL ls
quallfled Lo en[oy any Lhlng LhaL ls repulslve Lo slghL or sense and he LhaL can lnvesL lL wlLh a charm
of poeLry ls able Lo do Lhe same wlLh any Lhlng else ln Lhe world LhaL ls Ledlous and wreLched and
dlsmal and nasLy
ChapLer 33
CPA1L8 xxxv



381



WL lefL a dozen passengers ln ConsLanLlnople and salled Lhrough Lhe beauLlful 8osporus and far
up lnLo Lhe 8lack Sea We lefL Lhem ln Lhe cluLches of Lhe celebraLed 1urklsh gulde lA8AWA?
MCSLS who wlll seduce Lhem lnLo buylng a shlpload of oLLar of roses splendld 1urklsh vesLmenLs
and all manner of curlous Lhlngs Lhey can never have any use for Murrays lnvaluable guldebooks
have menLloned laraway Moses name and he ls a made man Pe re[olces dally ln Lhe facL LhaL he
ls a recognlzed celebrlLy Powever we can noL alLer our esLabllshed cusLoms Lo please Lhe whlms of
guldes we can noL show parLlallLles Lhls laLe ln Lhe day 1herefore lgnorlng Lhls fellows brllllanL
fame and lgnorlng Lhe fanclful name he Lakes such prlde ln we called hlm lerguson [usL as we had
done wlLh all oLher guldes lL has kepL hlm ln a sLaLe of smoLhered exasperaLlon all Lhe Llme ?eL we
meanL hlm no harm AfLer he has goLLen hlmself up regardless of expense ln showy baggy Lrowsers
yellow polnLed sllppers flery fez sllken [ackeL of blue volumlnous walsLsash of fancy erslan sLuff
fllled wlLh a baLLery of sllvermounLed horseplsLols and has sLrapped on hls Lerrlble sclmeLar he
conslders lL an unspeakable humlllaLlon Lo be called lerguson lL can noL be helped All guldes are
lergusons Lo us We can noL masLer Lhelr dreadful forelgn names

SebasLopol ls probably Lhe worsL baLLered Lown ln 8ussla or any where else 8uL we oughL Lo be
pleased wlLh lL neverLheless for we have been ln no counLry yeL where we have been so klndly
recelved and where we felL LhaL Lo be Amerlcans


382


was a sufflclenL vlse for our passporLs 1he momenL Lhe anchor was down Lhe Covernor of Lhe
Lown lmmedlaLely dlspaLched an offlcer on board Lo lnqulre lf he could be of any asslsLance Lo us
and Lo lnvlLe us Lo make ourselves aL home ln SebasLopol! lf you know 8ussla you know LhaL Lhls
was a wlld sLreLch of hosplLallLy 1hey are usually so susplclous of sLrangers LhaL Lhey worry Lhem
excesslvely wlLh Lhe delays and aggravaLlons lncldenL Lo a compllcaLed passporL sysLem Pad we
come from any oLher counLry we could noL have had permlsslon Lo enLer SebasLopol and leave agaln
under Lhree days buL as lL was we were aL llberLy Lo go and come when and where we pleased
Lvery body ln ConsLanLlnople warned us Lo be very careful abouL our passporLs see LhaL Lhey were
sLrlcLly en regle and never Lo mlslay Lhem for a momenL and Lhey Lold us of numerous lnsLances of
Lngllshmen and oLhers who were delayed days weeks and even monLhs ln SebasLopol on accounL
of Lrlfllng lnformallLles ln Lhelr passporLs and for whlch Lhey were noL Lo blame l had losL my
passporL and was Lravellng under my roommaLes who sLayed behlnd ln ConsLanLlnople Lo awalL
our reLurn 1o read Lhe descrlpLlon of hlm ln LhaL passporL and Lhen look aL me any man could see
LhaL l was no more llke hlm Lhan l am llke Percules So l wenL lnLo Lhe harbor of SebasLopol wlLh fear
and Lrembllng full of a vague horrlble apprehenslon LhaL l was golng Lo be found ouL and hanged
8uL all LhaL Llme my Lrue passporL


383


had been floaLlng gallanLly overhead and behold lL was only our flag 1hey never asked us for any
oLher


We have had a greaL many 8usslan and Lngllsh genLlemen and ladles on board Loday and Lhe
Llme has passed cheerfully away 1hey were all happysplrlLed people and l never heard our moLher
Longue sound so pleasanLly as lL dld when lL fell from Lhose Lngllsh llps ln Lhls faroff land l Lalked Lo
Lhe 8usslans a good deal [usL Lo be frlendly and Lhey Lalked Lo me from Lhe same moLlve l am sure
LhaL boLh en[oyed Lhe conversaLlon buL never a word of lL elLher of us undersLood l dld mosL of my
Lalklng Lo Lhose Lngllsh people Lhough and l am sorry we can noL carry some of Lhem along wlLh us

We have gone whlLhersoever we chose Loday and have meL wlLh noLhlng buL Lhe klndesL
aLLenLlons nobody lnqulred wheLher we had any passporLs or noL

Several of Lhe offlcers of Lhe CovernmenL have suggesLed LhaL we Lake Lhe shlp Lo a llLLle waLerlng
place LhlrLy mlles from here and pay Lhe Lmperor of 8ussla a vlslL Pe ls rusLlcaLlng Lhere 1hese
offlcers sald Lhey would Lake lL upon Lhemselves Lo lnsure us a cordlal recepLlon 1hey sald lf we
would go Lhey would noL only Lelegraph Lhe Lmperor buL send a speclal courler overland Lo
announce our comlng Cur Llme ls so shorL Lhough and more especlally our coal ls so nearly ouL
LhaL we [udged lL besL Lo forego Lhe rare pleasure of holdlng soclal lnLercourse wlLh an Lmperor

8ulned ompell ls ln good condlLlon compared Lo SebasLopol Pere you may look ln whaLsoever
dlrecLlon you please and your eye encounLers scarcely any Lhlng buL ruln ruln ruln! fragmenLs of
houses crumbled walls Lorn and ragged hllls devasLaLlon every where! lL ls as lf a mlghLy
earLhquake had spenL all lLs Lerrlble forces upon Lhls one llLLle spoL lor elghLeen long monLhs Lhe
sLorms of war beaL upon Lhe helpless Lown and lefL lL aL lasL Lhe saddesL wreck LhaL ever Lhe sun has
looked upon noL one sollLary house escaped unscaLhed noL one remalned hablLable even Such
uLLer and compleLe ruln one could hardly concelve of 1he houses had all been solld dressed sLone
sLrucLures mosL of Lhem were ploughed


384


Lhrough and Lhrough by cannon balls unroofed and sllced down from eaves Lo foundaLlon and
now a row of Lhem half a mlle long looks merely llke an endless processlon of baLLered chlmneys
no semblance of a house remalns ln such as Lhese Some of Lhe larger bulldlngs had corners knocked
off plllars cuL ln Lwo cornlces smashed holes drlven sLralghL Lhrough Lhe walls Many of Lhese holes
are as round and as cleanly cuL as lf Lhey had been made wlLh an auger CLhers are half plerced
Lhrough and Lhe clean lmpresslon ls Lhere ln Lhe rock as smooLh and as shapely as lf lL were done ln
puLLy Pere and Lhere a ball sLlll sLlcks ln a wall and from lL lron Lears Lrlckle down and dlscolor Lhe
sLone

1he baLLleflelds were preLLy close LogeLher 1he Malakoff Lower ls on a hlll whlch ls rlghL ln Lhe
edge of Lhe Lown 1he 8edan was wlLhln rlfleshoL of Lhe Malakoff lnkerman was a mlle away and
8alaklava removed buL an hours rlde 1he lrench Lrenches by whlch Lhey approached and lnvesLed
Lhe Malakoff were carrled so close under lLs sloplng sldes LhaL one mlghL have sLood by Lhe 8usslan
guns and Lossed a sLone lnLo Lhem 8epeaLedly durlng Lhree Lerrlble days Lhey swarmed up Lhe
llLLle Malakoff hlll and were beaLen back wlLh Lerrlble slaughLer llnally Lhey capLured Lhe place
and drove Lhe 8usslans ouL who Lhen Lrled Lo reLreaL lnLo Lhe Lown buL Lhe Lngllsh had Laken Lhe
8edan and shuL Lhem off wlLh a wall of flame Lhere was noLhlng for Lhem Lo do buL go back and
reLake Lhe Malakoff or dle under lLs guns 1hey dld go back Lhey Look Lhe Malakoff and reLook lL Lwo
or Lhree Llmes buL Lhelr desperaLe valor could noL avall and Lhey had Lo glve up aL lasL

1hese fearful flelds where such LempesLs of deaLh used Lo rage are peaceful enough now no
sound ls heard hardly a llvlng Lhlng moves abouL Lhem Lhey are lonely and sllenL Lhelr desolaLlon
ls compleLe

1here was noLhlng else Lo do and so every body wenL Lo hunLlng rellcs 1hey have sLocked Lhe shlp
wlLh Lhem 1hey broughL Lhem from Lhe Malakoff from Lhe 8edan lnkerman 8alaklava every
where 1hey have broughL cannon balls


383


broken ramrods fragmenLs of shell lron enough Lo frelghL a sloop Some have even broughL bones
broughL Lhem laborlously from greaL dlsLances and were grleved Lo hear Lhe surgeon pronounce
Lhem only bones of mules and oxen l knew 8lucher would noL lose an opporLunlLy llke Lhls Pe
broughL a sack full on board and was golng for anoLher l prevalled upon hlm noL Lo go Pe has
already Lurned hls sLaLeroom lnLo a museum of worLhless Lrumpery whlch he has gaLhered up ln
hls Lravels Pe ls labellng hls Lrophles now l plcked up one a whlle ago and found lL marked
lragmenL of a 8usslan Ceneral l carrled lL ouL Lo geL a beLLer llghL upon lL lL was noLhlng buL a
couple of LeeLh and parL of Lhe [awbone of a horse l sald wlLh some asperlLy


lragmenL of a 8usslan Ceneral! 1hls ls absurd Are you never golng Lo learn any sense?

Pe only sald Co slow Lhe old woman wonL know any dlfferenL Pls aunL

1hls person gaLhers memenLoes wlLh a perfecL recklessness nowadays mlxes Lhem all up
LogeLher and Lhen serenely labels Lhem wlLhouL any regard Lo LruLh proprleLy or even plauslblllLy l
have found hlm breaklng a sLone ln Lwo and labellng half of lL Chunk busLed from Lhe pulplL of
uemosLhenes and Lhe oLher half uarnlck from Lhe 1omb of Abelard and Pelolse l have known
hlm Lo gaLher up a handful of pebbles by Lhe roadslde and brlng Lhem on board shlp and label Lhem
as comlng from LwenLy celebraLed locallLles flve hundred mlles aparL l remonsLraLe agalnsL Lhese
ouLrages upon reason and LruLh of course buL lL does no good l geL Lhe same Lranqull
unanswerable reply every Llme

lL donL slgnlfy Lhe old woman wonL know any dlfferenL

Lver slnce we Lhree or four forLunaLe ones made Lhe mldnlghL Lrlp Lo ALhens lL has afforded hlm
genulne saLlsfacLlon Lo glve every body ln Lhe shlp a pebble from Lhe Marshlll where SL aul
preached Pe goL all Lhose pebbles on Lhe sea shore abreasL Lhe shlp buL professes Lo have
gaLhered Lhem


386


from one of our parLy Powever lL ls noL of any use for me Lo expose Lhe decepLlon lL affords hlm
pleasure and does no harm Lo any body Pe says he never expecLs Lo run ouL of memenLoes of SL
aul as long as he ls ln reach of a sandbank Well he ls no worse Lhan oLhers l noLlce LhaL all
Lravelers supply deflclencles ln Lhelr collecLlons ln Lhe same way l shall never have any confldence ln
such Lhlngs agaln whlle l llve
ChapLer 36
CPA1L8 xxxvl



387



WL have goL so far easL now a hundred and flfLyflve degrees of longlLude from San lranclsco
LhaL my waLch can noL keep Lhe hang of Lhe Llme any more lL has grown dlscouraged and
sLopped l Lhlnk lL dld a wlse Lhlng 1he dlfference ln Llme beLween SebasLopol and Lhe aclflc coasL
ls enormous When lL ls slx oclock ln Lhe mornlng here lL ls somewhere abouL week before lasL ln
Callfornla We are excusable for geLLlng a llLLle Langled as Lo Llme 1hese dlsLracLlons and dlsLresses
abouL Lhe Llme have worrled me so much LhaL l was afrald my mlnd was so much affecLed LhaL l
never would have any appreclaLlon of Llme agaln buL when l noLlced how handy l was yeL abouL
comprehendlng when lL was dlnnerLlme a blessed LranqullllLy seLLled down upon me and l am
LorLured wlLh doubLs and fears no more

Cdessa ls abouL LwenLy hours run from SebasLopol and ls Lhe mosL norLherly porL ln Lhe 8lack Sea
We came here Lo geL coal prlnclpally 1he clLy has a populaLlon of one hundred and LhlrLyLhree
Lhousand and ls growlng fasLer Lhan any oLher small clLy ouL of Amerlca lL ls a free porL and ls Lhe
greaL graln marL of Lhls parLlcular parL of Lhe world lLs roadsLead ls full of shlps Lnglneers are aL
work now Lurnlng Lhe open roadsLead lnLo a spaclous arLlflclal harbor lL ls Lo be almosL lnclosed by
masslve sLone plers one of whlch wlll exLend lnLo Lhe sea over Lhree Lhousand feeL ln a sLralghL llne

l have noL felL so much aL home for a long Llme as l dld when l ralsed Lhe hlll and sLood ln Cdessa
for Lhe flrsL Llme lL looked [usL llke an Amerlcan clLy flne broad sLreeLs and


388


sLralghL as well low houses (Lwo or Lhree sLorles) wlde neaL and free from any qualnLness of
archlLecLural ornamenLaLlon locusL Lrees borderlng Lhe sldewalks (Lhey call Lhem acaclas) a sLlrrlng
buslnesslook abouL Lhe sLreeLs and Lhe sLores fasL walkers a famlllar new look abouL Lhe houses
and every Lhlng yea and a drlvlng and smoLherlng cloud of dusL LhaL was so llke a message from our
own dear naLlve land LhaL we could hardly refraln from sheddlng a few graLeful Lears and
execraLlons ln Lhe old Llmehonored Amerlcan way Look up Lhe sLreeL or down Lhe sLreeL Lhls way
or LhaL way we saw only Amerlca! 1here was noL one Lhlng Lo remlnd us LhaL we were ln 8ussla We
walked for some llLLle dlsLance revellng ln Lhls home vlslon and Lhen we came upon a church and a
hackdrlver and presLo! Lhe llluslon vanlshed! 1he church had a slendersplred dome LhaL rounded
lnward aL lLs base and looked llke a Lurnlp Lurned upslde down and Lhe hackman seemed Lo be
dressed ln a long peLLlcoaL wlLh ouL any hoops 1hese Lhlngs were essenLlally forelgn and so were
Lhe carrlages buL every body knows abouL Lhese Lhlngs and Lhere ls no occaslon for my descrlblng
Lhem


We were only Lo sLay here a day and a nlghL and Lake ln coal we consulLed Lhe guldebooks and
were re[olced Lo know LhaL Lhere were no slghLs ln Cdessa Lo see and so we had one good
unLrammeled holyday on our hands wlLh noLhlng Lo do buL ldle abouL Lhe clLy and en[oy ourselves
We saunLered Lhrough Lhe markeLs and crlLlclsed Lhe fearful and wonderful cosLumes from Lhe back
counLry examlned Lhe populace as far as eyes could do lL and closed Lhe enLerLalnmenL wlLh an lce
cream debauch We do noL geL lcecream every where and so when we do we are apL Lo dlsslpaLe
Lo excess We never cared any Lhlng abouL lcecream aL home buL we look upon lL wlLh a sorL of
ldolaLry now LhaL lL ls so scarce ln Lhese redhoL cllmaLes of Lhe LasL

We only found Lwo pleces of sLaLuary and Lhls was anoLher blesslng Cne was a bronze lmage of
Lhe uuc de 8lchelleu grandnephew of Lhe splendld Cardlnal lL sLood ln a spaclous handsome
promenade overlooklng Lhe sea and from lLs base a


389


vasL fllghL of sLone sLeps led down Lo Lhe harbor Lwo hundred of Lhem flfLy feeL long and a wlde
landlng aL Lhe boLLom of every LwenLy lL ls a noble sLalrcase and from a dlsLance Lhe people Lolllng
up lL looked llke lnsecLs l menLlon Lhls sLaLue and Lhls sLalrway because Lhey have Lhelr sLory
8lchelleu founded Cdessa waLched over lL wlLh paLernal care labored wlLh a ferLlle braln and a
wlse undersLandlng for lLs besL lnLeresLs spenL hls forLune freely Lo Lhe same end endowed lL
wlLh a sound prosperlLy and one whlch wlll yeL make lL one of Lhe greaL clLles of Lhe Cld World
bullL Lhls noble sLalrway wlLh money from hls own prlvaLe purse and Well Lhe people for whom
he had done so much leL hlm walk down Lhese same sLeps one day unaLLended old poor wlLhouL
a second coaL Lo hls back and when years afLerwards he dled ln SebasLopol ln poverLy and neglecL
Lhey called a meeLlng subscrlbed llberally and lmmedlaLely erecLed Lhls LasLeful monumenL Lo hls
memory and named a greaL sLreeL afLer hlm lL remlnds me of whaL 8oberL 8urns moLher sald when
Lhey erecLed a sLaLely monumenL Lo hls memory Ah 8obble ye asked Lhem for bread and Lhey hae
glen ye a sLane

1he people of Cdessa have warmly recommended us Lo go and call on Lhe Lmperor as dld Lhe
SebasLopollans 1hey have Lelegraphed hls Ma[esLy and he has slgnlfled hls wllllngness Lo granL us
an audlence So we are geLLlng up Lhe anchors and preparlng Lo sall Lo hls waLerlngplace WhaL a
scraLchlng around Lhere wlll be now! whaL a holdlng of lmporLanL meeLlngs and appolnLlng of
solemn commlLLees! and whaL a furblshlng up of clawhammer coaLs and whlLe sllk neckLles! As
Lhls fearful ordeal we are abouL Lo pass Lhrough plcLures lLself Lo my fancy ln all lLs dread subllmlLy l
begln Lo feel my flerce deslre Lo converse wlLh a genulne Lmperor coollng down and passlng away
WhaL am l Lo do wlLh my hands? WhaL am l Lo do wlLh my feeL? WhaL ln Lhe world am l Lo do wlLh
myself?
ChapLer 37
CPA1L8 xxxvll



390



WL anchored here aL ?alLa 8ussla Lwo or Lhree days ago 1o me Lhe place was a vlslon of Lhe
Slerras 1he Lall gray mounLalns LhaL back lL Lhelr sldes brlsLllng wlLh plnes cloven wlLh ravlnes
here and Lhere a hoary rock Lowerlng lnLo vlew long sLralghL sLreaks sweeplng down from Lhe
summlL Lo Lhe sea marklng Lhe passage of some avalanche of former Llmes all Lhese were as llke
whaL one sees ln Lhe Slerras as lf Lhe one were a porLralL of Lhe oLher 1he llLLle vlllage of ?alLa
nesLles aL Lhe fooL of an amphlLheaLre whlch slopes backward and upward Lo Lhe wall of hllls and
looks as lf lL mlghL have sunk quleLly down Lo lLs presenL poslLlon from a hlgher elevaLlon 1hls
depresslon ls covered wlLh Lhe greaL parks and gardens of noblemen and Lhrough Lhe mass of green
follage Lhe brlghL colors of Lhelr palaces bud ouL here and Lhere llke flowers lL ls a beauLlful spoL

We had Lhe unlLed SLaLes Consul on board Lhe Cdessa Consul We assembled ln Lhe cabln and
commanded hlm Lo Lell us whaL we musL do Lo be saved and Lell us qulckly Pe made a speech 1he
flrsL Lhlng he sald fell llke a bllghL on every hopeful splrlL he had never seen a courL recepLlon
(1hree groans for Lhe Consul) 8uL he sald he had seen recepLlons aL Lhe CovernorCenerals ln
Cdessa and had ofLen llsLened Lo peoples experlences of recepLlons aL Lhe 8usslan and oLher
courLs and belleved he knew very well whaL sorL of ordeal we were abouL Lo essay (Pope budded
agaln) Pe sald we were many Lhe summerpalace was small a mere


391


manslon doubLless we should be recelved ln summer fashlon ln Lhe garden we would sLand ln a
row all Lhe genLlemen ln swallowLall coaLs whlLe klds and whlLe neckLles and Lhe ladles ln
llghLcolored sllks or someLhlng of LhaL klnd aL Lhe proper momenL 12 merldlan Lhe Lmperor
aLLended by hls sulLe arrayed ln splendld unlforms would appear and walk slowly along Lhe llne
bowlng Lo some and saylng Lwo or Lhree words Lo oLhers AL Lhe momenL hls Ma[esLy appeared a
unlversal dellghLed enLhuslasLlc smlle oughL Lo break ouL llke a rash among Lhe passengers a
smlle of love of graLlflcaLlon of admlraLlon and wlLh one accord Lhe parLy musL begln Lo bow
noL obsequlously buL respecLfully and wlLh dlgnlLy aL Lhe end of flfLeen mlnuLes Lhe Lmperor
would go ln Lhe house and we could run along home agaln We felL lmmensely relleved lL seemed
ln a manner easy 1here was noL a man ln Lhe parLy buL belleved LhaL wlLh a llLLle pracLlce he could
sLand ln a row especlally lf Lhere were oLhers along Lhere was noL a man buL belleved he could bow
wlLhouL Lrlpplng on hls coaL Lall and breaklng hls neck ln a word we came Lo belleve we were equal
Lo any lLem ln Lhe performance excepL LhaL compllcaLed smlle 1he Consul also sald we oughL Lo
drafL a llLLle address Lo Lhe Lmperor and presenL lL Lo one of hls aldesdecamp who would
forward lL Lo hlm aL Lhe proper Llme 1herefore flve genLlemen were appolnLed Lo prepare Lhe
documenL and Lhe flfLy oLhers wenL sadly smlllng abouL Lhe shlp pracLlclng uurlng Lhe nexL
Lwelve hours we had Lhe general appearance somehow of belng aL a funeral where every body
was sorry Lhe deaLh had occurred buL glad lL was over where every body was smlllng and yeL
brokenhearLed


A commlLLee wenL ashore Lo walL on hls Lxcellency Lhe CovernorCeneral and learn our faLe AL
Lhe end of Lhree hours of bodlng suspense Lhey came back and sald Lhe Lmperor would recelve us
aL noon Lhe nexL day would send carrlages for us would hear Lhe address ln person 1he Crand
uuke Mlchael had senL Lo lnvlLe us Lo hls palace also Any man could see LhaL Lhere was an lnLenLlon
here Lo show LhaL 8usslas


392


frlendshlp for Amerlca was so genulne as Lo render even her prlvaLe clLlzens ob[ecLs worLhy of
klndly aLLenLlons

AL Lhe appolnLed hour we drove ouL Lhree mlles and assembled ln Lhe handsome garden ln fronL
of Lhe Lmperors palace

We formed a clrcle under Lhe Lrees before Lhe door for Lhere was no one room ln Lhe house able
Lo accommodaLe our Lhree score persons comforLably and ln a few mlnuLes Lhe lmperlal famlly
came ouL bowlng and smlllng and sLood ln our mldsL A number of greaL dlgnlLarles of Lhe Lmplre ln
undress unlL forms came wlLh Lhem WlLh every bow hls Ma[esLy sald a word of welcome l copy
Lhese speeches 1here ls characLer ln Lhem 8usslan characLer whlch ls pollLeness lLself and Lhe
genulne arLlcle 1he lrench are pollLe buL lL ls ofLen mere ceremonlous pollLeness A 8usslan lmbues
hls pollLe Lhlngs wlLh a hearLlness boLh of phrase and expresslon LhaL compels


393


bellef ln Lhelr slncerlLy As l was saylng Lhe Czar puncLuaLed hls speeches wlLh bows


Cood mornlng l am glad Lo see you l am graLlfled l am dellghLed l am happy Lo recelve
you!

All Look off Lhelr haLs and Lhe Consul lnfllcLed Lhe address on hlm Pe bore lL wlLh unfllnchlng
forLlLude Lhen Look Lhe rusLylooklng documenL and handed lL Lo some greaL offlcer or oLher Lo
be flled away among Lhe archlves of 8ussla ln Lhe sLove Pe Lhanked us for Lhe address and sald
he was very much pleased Lo see us especlally as such frlendly relaLlons exlsLed beLween 8ussla and
Lhe unlLed SLaLes 1he Lmpress sald Lhe Amerlcans were favorlLes ln 8ussla and she hoped Lhe
8usslans were slmllarly regarded ln Amerlca 1hese were all Lhe speeches LhaL were made and l
recommend Lhem Lo parLles who presenL pollcemen wlLh gold waLches as models of brevlLy and
polnL AfLer Lhls Lhe Lmpress wenL and Lalked soclably (for an Lmpress) wlLh varlous ladles around
Lhe clrcle several genLlemen enLered lnLo a dls[olnLed general conversaLlon wlLh Lhe Lmperor Lhe
uukes and rlnces Admlrals and Malds of Ponor dropped lnLo freeandeasy chaL wlLh flrsL one
and Lhen anoLher of our parLy and whoever chose sLepped forward and spoke wlLh Lhe modesL llLLle
Crand uuchess Marle Lhe Czars daughLer She ls fourLeen years old llghLhalred blueeyed
unassumlng and preLLy Lvery body Lalks Lngllsh

1he Lmperor wore a cap frock coaL and panLaloons all of some klnd of plaln whlLe drllllng
coLLon or llnen and sporLed


394


no [ewelry or any lnslgnla whaLever of rank no cosLume could be less osLenLaLlous Pe ls very Lall
and spare and a deLermlnedlooklng man Lhough a very pleasanLlooklng one neverLheless lL ls
easy Lo see LhaL he ls klnd and affecLlonaLe 1here ls someLhlng very noble ln hls expresslon when hls
cap ls off 1here ls none of LhaL cunnlng ln hls eye LhaL all of us noLlced ln Louls napoleons

1he Lmpress and Lhe llLLle Crand uuchess wore slmple sulLs of foulard (or foulard sllk l donL know
whlch ls proper) wlLh a small blue spoL ln lL Lhe dresses were Lrlmmed wlLh blue boLh ladles wore
broad blue sashes abouL Lhelr walsLs llnen collars and clerlcal Lles of muslln lowcrowned
sLrawhaLs Lrlmmed wlLh blue velveL parasols and fleshcolored gloves 1he Crand uuchess had
no heels on her shoes l do noL know Lhls of my own knowledge buL one of our ladles Lold me so l
was noL looklng aL her shoes l was glad Lo observe LhaL she wore her own halr plalLed ln Lhlck
bralds agalnsL Lhe back of her head lnsLead of Lhe uncomely Lhlng Lhey call a waLerfall whlch ls
abouL as much llke a waLerfall as a canvascovered ham ls Llke a caLaracL 1aklng Lhe klnd
expresslon LhaL ls ln Lhe Lmperors face and Lhe genLleness LhaL ls ln hls young daughLers lnLo
conslderaLlon l wondered lf lL would noL Lax Lhe Czars flrmness Lo Lhe uLmosL Lo condemn a
suppllcaLlng wreLch Lo mlsery ln Lhe wasLes of Slberla lf she pleaded for hlm Lvery Llme Lhelr eyes
meL l saw more and more whaL a Lremendous power LhaL weak dlffldenL schoolglrl could wleld lf
she chose Lo do lL Many and many a Llme she mlghL rule Lhe AuLocraL of 8ussla whose llghLesL word
ls law Lo sevenLy mllllons of human belngs She was only a glrl and she looked llke a Lhousand oLhers
l have seen buL never a glrl provoked such a novel and pecullar lnLeresL ln me before A sLrange
new sensaLlon ls a rare Lhlng ln Lhls humdrum llfe and l had lL here 1here was noLhlng sLale or
worn ouL abouL Lhe LhoughLs and feellngs Lhe slLuaLlon and Lhe clrcumsLances creaLed lL seemed
sLrange sLranger Lhan l can Lell Lo Lhlnk LhaL Lhe cenLral flgure ln Lhe clusLer of men and women
chaLLlng here under Lhe Lrees llke Lhe mosL ordlnary lndlvldual


393


ln Lhe land was a man who could open hls llps and shlps would fly Lhrough Lhe waves locomoLlves
would speed over Lhe plalns courlers would hurry from vlllage Lo vlllage a hundred Lelegraphs
would flash Lhe word Lo Lhe four corners of an Lmplre LhaL sLreLches lLs vasL proporLlons over a
sevenLh parL of Lhe hablLable globe and a counLless mulLlLude of men would sprlng Lo do hls
blddlng l had a sorL of vague deslre Lo examlne hls hands and see lf Lhey were of flesh and blood
llke oLher mens Pere was a man who could do Lhls wonderful Lhlng and yeL lf l chose l could knock
hlm down 1he case was plaln buL lL seemed preposLerous neverLheless as preposLerous as Lrylng
Lo knock down a mounLaln or wlpe ouL a conLlnenL lf Lhls man spralned hls ankle a mllllon mlles of
Lelegraph would carry Lhe news over mounLalns valleys unlnhablLed deserLs under Lhe
Lrackless sea and Len Lhousand newspapers would praLe of lL lf he were grlevously lll all Lhe
naLlons would know lL before Lhe sun rose agaln lf he dropped llfeless where he sLood hls fall mlghL
shake Lhe Lhrones of half a world ! lf l could have sLolen hls coaL l would have done lL When l meeL
a man llke LhaL l wanL someLhlng Lo remember hlm by


As a general Lhlng we have been shown Lhrough palaces by some plushlegged fllagreed flunkey
or oLher who charged a franc for lL buL afLer Lalklng wlLh Lhe company half an hour Lhe Lmperor of
8ussla and hls famlly conducLed us all Lhrough Lhelr manslon Lhemselves 1hey made no charge
1hey seemed Lo Lake a real pleasure ln lL

We spenL half an hour ldllng Lhrough Lhe palace admlrlng Lhe cosy aparLmenLs and Lhe rlch buL
emlnenLly homellke appolnLmenLs of Lhe place and Lhen Lhe lmperlal famlly bade our parLy a klnd
goodbye and proceeded Lo counL Lhe spoons

An lnvlLaLlon was exLended Lo us Lo vlslL Lhe palace of Lhe eldesL son Lhe Crown rlnce of 8ussla
whlch was near aL hand 1he young man was absenL buL Lhe uukes and CounLesses and rlnces
wenL over Lhe premlses wlLh us as lelsurely as was Lhe case aL Lhe Lmperors and conversaLlon
conLlnued as llvely as ever



396



lL was a llLLle afLer one oclock now We drove Lo Lhe Crand uuke Mlchaels a mlle away ln
response Lo hls lnvlLaLlon prevlously glven

We arrlved ln LwenLy mlnuLes from Lhe Lmperors lL ls a lovely place 1he beauLlful palace nesLles
among Lhe grand old groves of Lhe park Lhe park slLs ln Lhe lap of Lhe plcLuresque crags and hllls
and boLh look ouL upon Lhe breezy ocean ln Lhe park are rusLlc seaLs here and Lhere ln secluded
nooks LhaL are dark wlLh shade Lhere are rlvuleLs of crysLal waLer Lhere are lakeleLs wlLh lnvlLlng
grassy banks Lhere are gllmpses of sparkllng cascades Lhrough openlngs ln Lhe wllderness of follage
Lhere are sLreams of clear waLer gushlng from mlmlc knoLs on Lhe Lrunks of foresL Lrees Lhere are
mlnlaLure marble Lemples perched upon gray old crags Lhere are alry lookouLs whence one may
gaze upon a broad expanse of landscape and ocean 1he palace ls modeled afLer Lhe cholcesL forms
of Creclan archlLecLure and lLs wlde colonnades surround a cenLral courL LhaL ls banked wlLh rare
flowers LhaL flll Lhe place wlLh Lhelr fragrance and ln Lhelr mldsL sprlngs a founLaln LhaL cools Lhe
summer alr and may posslbly breed mosqulLoes buL l do noL Lhlnk lL does

1he Crand uuke and hls uuchess came ouL and Lhe presenLaLlon ceremonles were as slmple as
Lhey had been aL Lhe Lmperors ln a few mlnuLes conversaLlon was under way as before 1he
Lmpress appeared ln Lhe verandah and Lhe llLLle Crand uuchess came ouL lnLo Lhe crowd 1hey had
beaLen us Lhere ln a few mlnuLes Lhe Lmperor came hlmself on horseback lL was very pleasanL
?ou can appreclaLe lL lf you have ever vlslLed royalLy and felL occaslonally LhaL posslbly you mlghL be
wearlng ouL your welcome Lhough as a general Lhlng l belleve royalLy ls noL scrupulous abouL
dlscharglng you when lL ls done wlLh you

1he Crand uuke ls Lhe Lhlrd broLher of Lhe Lmperor ls abouL LhlrLyseven years old perhaps and
ls Lhe prlncellesL flgure ln 8ussla Pe ls even Laller Lhan Lhe Czar as sLralghL as an lndlan and bears
hlmself llke one of Lhose gorgeous knlghLs we read abouL ln romances of Lhe Crusades Pe looks


397


llke a greaLhearLed fellow who would plLch an enemy lnLo Lhe rlver ln a momenL and Lhen [ump
ln and rlsk hls llfe flshlng hlm ouL agaln 1he sLorles Lhey Lell of hlm show hlm Lo be of a brave and
generous naLure Pe musL have been deslrous of provlng LhaL Amerlcans were welcome guesLs ln
Lhe lmperlal palaces of 8ussla because he rode all Lhe way Lo ?alLa and escorLed our processlon Lo
Lhe Lmperors hlmself and kepL hls alds scurrylng abouL clearlng Lhe road and offerlng asslsLance
wherever lL could be needed We were raLher famlllar wlLh hlm Lhen because we dld noL know who
he was We recognlzed hlm now and appreclaLed Lhe frlendly splrlL LhaL prompLed hlm Lo do us a
favor LhaL any oLher Crand uuke ln Lhe world would have doubLless decllned Lo do Pe had plenLy of
servlLors whom he could have senL buL he chose Lo aLLend Lo Lhe maLLer hlmself

1he Crand uuke was dressed ln Lhe handsome and showy unlform of a Cossack offlcer 1he Crand
uuchess had on a whlLe alpaca robe wlLh Lhe seams and gores Lrlmmed wlLh black barb lace and a
llLLle gray haL wlLh a feaLher of Lhe same color She ls young raLher preLLy modesL and unpreLendlng
and full of wlnnlng pollLeness

Cur parLy walked all Lhrough Lhe house and Lhen Lhe noblllLy escorLed Lhem all over Lhe grounds
and flnally broughL Lhem back Lo Lhe palace abouL halfpasL Lwo oclock Lo breakfasL 1hey called lL
breakfasL buL we would have called lL luncheon lL conslsLed of Lwo klnds of wlne Lea bread
cheese and cold meaLs and was served on Lhe cenLreLables ln Lhe recepLlon room and Lhe
verandahs anywhere LhaL was convenlenL Lhere was no ceremony lL was a sorL of plcnlc l had
heard before LhaL we were Lo breakfasL Lhere buL 8lucher sald he belleved 8akers boy had
suggesLed lL Lo hls lmperlal Plghness l Lhlnk noL Lhough lL would be llke hlm 8akers boy ls Lhe
famlnebreeder of Lhe shlp Pe ls always hungry 1hey say he goes abouL Lhe sLaLerooms when
Lhe passengers are ouL and eaLs up all Lhe soap And Lhey say he eaLs oakum 1hey say he wlll eaL
any Lhlng he can geL beLween meals buL he prefers oakum Pe does noL llke oakum for


398


dlnner buL he llkes lL for a lunch aL odd hours or any Lhlng LhaL way lL makes hlm very
dlsagreeable because lL makes hls breaLh bad and keeps hls LeeLh all sLuck up wlLh Lar 8akers boy
may have suggesLed Lhe breakfasL buL l hope he dld noL lL wenL off well anyhow 1he lllusLrlous
hosL moved abouL from place Lo place and helped Lo desLroy Lhe provlslons and keep Lhe
conversaLlon llvely and Lhe Crand uuchess Lalked wlLh Lhe verandah parLles and such as had
saLlsfled Lhelr appeLlLes and sLraggled ouL from Lhe recepLlon room


1he Crand uukes Lea was dellclous 1hey glve one a lemon Lo squeeze lnLo lL or lced mllk lf he
prefers lL 1he former ls besL 1hls Lea ls broughL overland from Chlna lL ln[ures Lhe arLlcle Lo
LransporL lL by sea

When lL was Llme Lo go we bade our dlsLlngulshed hosLs goodbye and Lhey reLlred happy and
conLenLed Lo Lhelr aparLmenLs Lo counL Lhelr spoons

We had spenL Lhe besL parL of half a day ln Lhe home of royalLy and had been as cheerful and
comforLable all Lhe Llme as we could have been ln Lhe shlp l would as soon have LhoughL of belng
cheerful ln Abrahams bosom as ln Lhe palace of an Lmperor l supposed LhaL Lmperors were Lerrlble
people l LhoughL Lhey never dld any Lhlng buL wear magnlflcenL crowns and red velveL
dresslnggowns wlLh dabs of wool sewed on Lhem ln spoLs and slL on Lhrones and scowl aL Lhe
flunkles and Lhe people ln Lhe parqueLLe and order uukes and uuchesses off Lo execuLlon l flnd
however LhaL when one ls so forLunaLe as Lo geL behlnd Lhe scenes and see Lhem aL home and ln
Lhe prlvacy of Lhelr flresldes Lhey are sLrangely llke common morLals 1hey are pleasanLer Lo look
upon Lhen Lhan Lhey are ln Lhelr LheaLrlcal aspecL lL seems Lo come as naLural Lo Lhem Lo dress and
acL llke oLher people as lL ls Lo puL a frlends cedar pencll ln your pockeL when you are done uslng lL
8uL l can never have any confldence ln Lhe Llnsel klngs of Lhe LheaLre afLer Lhls lL wlll be a greaL loss
l used Lo Lake such a Lhrllllng pleasure ln Lhem 8uL hereafLer l wlll Lurn me sadly away and say



399



1hls does noL answer Lhls lsnL Lhe sLyle of klng LhaL l am acqualnLed wlLh

When Lhey swagger around Lhe sLage ln [eweled crowns and splendld robes l shall feel bound Lo
observe LhaL all Lhe Lmperors LhaL ever l was personally acqualnLed wlLh wore Lhe commonesL sorL
of cloLhes and dld noL swagger And when Lhey come on Lhe sLage aLLended by a vasL bodyguard of
supes ln helmeLs and Lln breasLplaLes lL wlll be my duLy as well as my pleasure Lo lnform Lhe
lgnoranL LhaL no crowned head of my acqualnLance has a soldler any where abouL hls house or hls
person

osslbly lL may be LhoughL LhaL our parLy Larrled Loo long or dld oLher lmproper Lhlngs buL such
was noL Lhe case 1he company felL LhaL Lhey were occupylng an unusually responslble poslLlon
Lhey were represenLlng Lhe people of Amerlca noL Lhe CovernmenL and Lherefore Lhey were
careful Lo do Lhelr besL Lo perform Lhelr hlgh mlsslon wlLh credlL

Cn Lhe oLher hand Lhe lmperlal famllles no doubL consldered


400


LhaL ln enLerLalnlng us Lhey were more especlally enLerLalnlng Lhe people of Amerlca Lhan Lhey
could by showerlng aLLenLlons on a whole plaLoon of mlnlsLers plenlpoLenLlary and Lherefore Lhey
gave Lo Lhe evenL lLs fullesL slgnlflcance as an expresslon of good wlll and frlendly feellng Loward Lhe
enLlre counLry We Look Lhe klndnesses we recelved as aLLenLlons Lhus dlrecLed of course and noL
Lo ourselves as a parLy 1haL we felL a personal prlde ln belng recelved as Lhe represenLaLlves of a
naLlon we do noL deny LhaL we felL a naLlonal prlde ln Lhe warm cordlallLy of LhaL recepLlon can noL
be doubLed

Cur poeL has been rlgldly suppressed from Lhe Llme we leL go Lhe anchor When lL was announced
LhaL we were golng Lo vlslL Lhe Lmperor of 8ussla Lhe founLalns of hls greaL deep were broken up
and he ralned lneffable bosh for fourandLwenLy hours Cur orlglnal anxleLy as Lo whaL we were
golng Lo do wlLh ourselves was suddenly Lransformed lnLo anxleLy abouL whaL we were golng Lo do
wlLh our poeL 1he problem was solved aL lasL 1wo alLernaLlves were offered hlm he musL elLher
swear a dreadful oaLh LhaL he would noL lssue a llne of hls poeLry whlle he was ln Lhe Czars
domlnlons or else remaln under guard on board Lhe shlp unLll we were safe aL ConsLanLlnople agaln
Pe foughL Lhe dllemma long buL ylelded aL lasL lL was a greaL dellverance erhaps Lhe savage
reader would llke a speclmen of hls sLyle l do noL mean Lhls Lerm Lo be offenslve l only use lL
because Lhe genLle reader has been used so ofLen LhaL any change from lL can noL buL be
refreshlng


Save us and sancLlfy us and flnally Lhen
See good provlslons we en[oy whlle we [ourney Lo !erusalem
lor so man proposes whlch lL ls mosL Lrue
And Llme wlll walL for none nor for us Loo


1he sea has been unusually rough all day Powever we have had a llvely Llme of lL anyhow We
have had qulLe a run of vlslLors 1he CovernorCeneral came and we recelved hlm wlLh a saluLe of
nlne guns Pe broughL hls famlly wlLh hlm l observed LhaL carpeLs were spread from Lhe plerhead


401


Lo hls carrlage for hlm Lo walk on Lhough l have seen hlm walk Lhere wlLhouL any carpeL when he
was noL on buslness l LhoughL may be he had whaL Lhe accldenLal lnsurance people mlghL call an
exLrahazardous pollsh (pollcy [oke buL noL above medlocrlLy) on hls booLs and wlshed Lo
proLecL Lhem buL l examlned and could noL see LhaL Lhey were blacked any beLLer Lhan usual lL may
have been LhaL he had forgoLLen hls carpeL before buL he dld noL have lL wlLh hlm anyhow Pe was
an exceedlngly pleasanL old genLleman we all llked hlm especlally 8lucher When he wenL away
8lucher lnvlLed hlm Lo come agaln and feLch hls carpeL along

rlnce uolgoroukl and a Crand Admlral or Lwo whom we had seen yesLerday aL Lhe recepLlon
came on board also l was a llLLle dlsLanL wlLh Lhese parLles aL flrsL because when l have been
vlslLlng Lmperors l do noL llke Lo be Loo famlllar wlLh people l only know by repuLaLlon and whose
moral characLers and sLandlng ln socleLy l can noL be Lhoroughly acqualnLed wlLh l [udged lL besL Lo
be a llLLle offlsh aL flrsL l sald Lo myself rlnces and CounLs and Crand Admlrals are very well buL
Lhey are noL Lmperors and one can noL be Loo parLlcular abouL who he assoclaLes wlLh

8aron Wrangel came also Pe used Lo be 8usslan Ambassador aL WashlngLon l Lold hlm l had an
uncle who fell down a shafL and broke hlmself ln Lwo as much as a year before LhaL 1haL was a
falsehood buL Lhen l was noL golng Lo leL any man ecllpse me on surprlslng advenLures merely for
Lhe wanL of a llLLle lnvenLlon 1he 8aron ls a flne man and ls sald Lo sLand hlgh ln Lhe Lmperors
confldence and esLeem

8aron ungernSLernberg a bolsLerous wholesouled old nobleman came wlLh Lhe resL Pe ls a
man of progress and enLerprlse a represenLaLlve man of Lhe age Pe ls Lhe Chlef ulrecLor of Lhe
rallway sysLem of 8ussla a sorL of rallroad klng ln hls llne he ls maklng Lhlngs move along ln Lhls
counLry Pe has Lraveled exLenslvely ln Amerlca Pe says he has Lrled convlcL labor on hls rallroads
and wlLh perfecL success Pe says Lhe convlcL work well and are quleL and peaceable Pe observed
LhaL he employs nearly Len Lhousand of Lhem now


402


1hls appeared Lo be anoLher call on my resources l was equal Lo Lhe emergency l sald we had
elghLy Lhousand convlcLs employed on Lhe rallways ln Amerlca all of Lhem under senLence of deaLh
for murder ln Lhe flrsL degree 1haL closed hlm ouL


We had Ceneral 1odLleben (Lhe famous defender of SebasLopol durlng Lhe slege) and many
lnferlor army and also navy offlcers and a number of unofflclal 8usslan ladles and genLlemen
naLurally a champagne luncheon was ln order and was accompllshed wlLhouL loss of llfe 1oasLs
and [okes were dlscharged freely buL no speeches were made save one Lhanklng Lhe Lmperor and
Lhe Crand uuke Lhrough Lhe CovernorCeneral for our hosplLable recepLlon and one by Lhe
CovernorCeneral ln reply ln whlch he reLurned Lhe Lmperors Lhanks for Lhe speech eLc eLc
ChapLer 38
CPA1L8 xxxvlll



403



WL reLurned Lo ConsLanLlnople and afLer a day or Lwo spenL ln exhausLlng marches abouL Lhe clLy
and voyages up Lhe Colden Porn ln calques we sLeamed away agaln We passed Lhrough Lhe Sea of
Marmora and Lhe uardanelles and sLeered for a new land a new one Lo us aL leasL Asla We had
as yeL only acqulred a bowlng acqualnLance wlLh lL Lhrough pleasure excurslons Lo ScuLarl and Lhe
reglons round abouL

We passed beLween Lemnos and MyLllene and saw Lhem as we had seen Llba and Lhe 8alearlc
lsles mere bulky shapes wlLh Lhe sofLenlng mlsLs of dlsLance upon Lhem whales ln a fog as lL
were 1hen we held our course souLhward and began Lo read up celebraLed Smyrna

AL all hours of Lhe day and nlghL Lhe sallors ln Lhe forecasLle amused Lhemselves and aggravaLed us
by burlesqulng our vlslL Lo royalLy 1he openlng paragraph of our Address Lo Lhe Lmperor was
framed as follows

We are a handful of prlvaLe clLlzens of Amerlca Lravellng slmply for recreaLlon and
unosLenLaLlously as becomes our unofflclal sLaLe and Lherefore we have no excuse Lo Lender for
presenLlng ourselves before your Ma[esLy save Lhe deslre of offerlng our graLeful acknowledgmenLs
Lo Lhe lord of a realm whlch Lhrough good and Lhrough evll reporL has been Lhe sLeadfasL frlend of
Lhe land we love so well

1he Lhlrd cook crowned wlLh a resplendenL Lln basln and


404


wrapped royally ln a LablecloLh moLLled wlLh greasespoLs and coffee sLalns and bearlng a scepLre
LhaL looked sLrangely llke a belaylngpln walked upon a dllapldaLed carpeL and perched hlmself on
Lhe capsLan careless of Lhe flylng spray hls Larred and weaLherbeaLen Chamberlalns uukes and
Lord Plgh Admlrals surrounded hlm arrayed ln all Lhe pomp LhaL spare Larpaullns and remnanLs of
old salls could furnlsh 1hen Lhe vlslLlng waLch below Lransformed lnLo graceless ladles and
uncouLh pllgrlms by rude LravesLles upon waLerfalls hoopsklrLs whlLe kld gloves and swallowLall
coaLs moved solemnly up Lhe companlon way and bowlng low began a sysLem of compllcaLed and
exLraordlnary smlllng whlch few monarchs could look upon and llve 1hen Lhe mock consul a slush
plasLered decksweep drew ouL a solled fragmenL of paper and proceeded Lo read laborlously


1o Pls lmperlal Ma[esLy Alexander ll Lmperor of 8ussla

We are a handful of prlvaLe clLlzens of Amerlca Lravellng slmply for recreaLlon and
unosLenLaLlously as becomes our unofflclal sLaLe and Lherefore we have no excuse Lo Lender for
presenLlng ourselves before your Ma[esLy

1he Lmperor 1hen whaL Lhe devll dld you come for?

Save Lhe deslre of offerlng our graLeful acknowledgmenLs Lo Lhe lord of a realm whlch

1he Lmperor Ch d n Lhe Address! read lL Lo Lhe


403


pollce Chamberlaln Lake Lhese people over Lo my broLher Lhe Crand uukes and glve Lhem a
square meal Adleu! l am happy l am graLlfled l am dellghLed l am bored Adleu adleu vamos
Lhe ranch! 1he llrsL Croom of Lhe alace wlll proceed Lo counL Lhe porLable arLlcles of value
belonglng Lo Lhe premlses

1he farce Lhen closed Lo be repeaLed agaln wlLh every change of Lhe waLches and embelllshed
wlLh new and sLlll more exLravaganL lnvenLlons of pomp and conversaLlon

AL all Llmes of Lhe day and nlghL Lhe phraseology of LhaL Llresome address fell upon our ears Crlmy
sallors came down ouL of Lhe foreLop placldly announclng Lhemselves as a handful of prlvaLe
clLlzens of Amerlca Lravellng slmply for recreaLlon and unosLenLaLlously eLc Lhe coal passers
moved Lo Lhelr duLles ln Lhe profound depLhs of Lhe shlp explalnlng Lhe blackness of Lhelr faces and
Lhelr uncouLhness of dress wlLh Lhe remlnder LhaL Lhey were a handful of prlvaLe clLlzens Lravellng
slmply for recreaLlon eLc and when Lhe cry rang Lhrough Lhe vessel aL mldnlghL LlCP1 8LLLS!
LA88CA8u WA1CP 1u8n Cu1! Lhe larboard waLch came gaplng and sLreLchlng ouL of Lhelr den
wlLh Lhe everlasLlng formula Aye


406


aye slr! We are a handful of prlvaLe clLlzens of Amerlca Lravellng slmply for recreaLlon and
unosLenLaLlously as becomes our unofflclal sLaLe!


As l was a member of Lhe commlLLee and helped Lo frame Lhe Address Lhese sarcasms came
home Lo me l never heard a sallor proclalmlng hlmself as a handful of Amerlcan clLlzens Lravellng for
recreaLlon buL l wlshed he mlghL Lrlp and fall overboar d and so reduce hls handful by one
lndlvldual aL leasL l never was so Llred of any one phrase as Lhe sallors made me of Lhe openlng
senLence of Lhe Address Lo Lhe Lmperor of 8ussla

1hls seaporL of Smyrna our flrsL noLable acqualnLance ln Asla ls a closely packed clLy of one
hundred and LhlrLy Lhousand lnhablLanLs and llke ConsLanLlnople lL has no ouLsklrLs lL ls as closely
packed aL lLs ouLer edges as lL ls ln Lhe cenLre and Lhen Lhe hablLaLlons leave suddenly off and Lhe
plaln beyond seems houseless lL ls [usL llke any oLher CrlenLal clLy 1haL ls Lo say lLs Moslem houses
are heavy and dark and as comforLless as so many Lombs lLs sLreeLs are crooked rudely and
roughly paved and as narrow as an ordlnary sLalrcase Lhe sLreeLs unlformly carry a man Lo any
oLher place Lhan Lhe one he wanLs Lo go Lo and surprlse hlm by landlng hlm ln Lhe mosL unexpecLed
locallLles buslness ls chlefly carrled on ln greaL covered bazaars celled llke a honeycomb wlLh
lnnumerable shops no larger Lhan a common closeL and Lhe whole hlve cuL up lnLo a maze of alleys
abouL wlde enough Lo accommodaLe a laden camel and well calculaLed Lo confuse a sLranger and
evenLually lose hlm every where Lhere ls dlrL every where Lhere are fleas every where Lhere are
lean brokenhearLed dogs every alley ls Lhronged wlLh people wherever you look your eye resLs
upon a wlld masquerade of exLravaganL cosLumes Lhe workshops are all open Lo Lhe sLreeLs and
Lhe workmen vlslble all manner of sounds assall Lhe ear and over Lhem all rlngs ouL Lhe muezzlns
cry from some Lall mlnareL calllng Lhe falLhful vagabonds Lo prayer and superlor Lo Lhe call Lo
prayer Lhe nolses ln Lhe sLreeLs Lhe lnLeresL of Lhe cosLumes superlor Lo every Lhlng and clalmlng
Lhe bulk of aLLenLlon


407


flrsL lasL and all Lhe Llme ls a comblnaLlon of Mohammedan sLenches Lo whlch Lhe smell of even
a Chlnese quarLer would be as pleasanL as Lhe roasLlng odors of Lhe faLLed calf Lo Lhe nosLrlls of Lhe
reLurnlng rodlgal Such ls CrlenLal luxury such ls CrlenLal splendor! We read abouL lL all our days
buL we comprehend lL noL unLll we see lL Smyrna ls a very old clLy lLs name occurs several Llmes ln
Lhe 8lble one or Lwo of Lhe dlsclples of ChrlsL vlslLed lL and here was locaLed one of Lhe orlglnal
seven apocalypLlc churches spoken of ln 8evelaLlons 1hese churches were symbollzed ln Lhe
ScrlpLures as candlesLlcks and on cerLaln condlLlons Lhere was a sorL of lmplled promlse LhaL Smyrna
should be endowed wlLh a crown of llfe She was Lo be falLhful unLo deaLh Lhose were Lhe
Lerms She has noL kepL up her falLh sLralghL along buL Lhe pllgrlms LhaL wander hlLher conslder LhaL
she has come near enough Lo lL Lo save her and so Lhey polnL Lo Lhe facL LhaL Smyrna Loday wears
her crown of llfe and ls a greaL clLy wlLh a greaL commerce and full of energy whlle Lhe clLles
whereln were locaLed Lhe oLher slx churches and Lo whlch no crown of llfe was promlsed have
vanlshed from Lhe earLh So Smyrna really sLlll possesses her crown of llfe ln a buslness polnL of
vlew Per career for elghLeen cenLurles has been a chequered one and she has been under Lhe rule
of prlnces of many creeds yeL Lhere has been no season durlng all LhaL Llme as far as we know (and
durlng such seasons as she was lnhablLed aL all) LhaL she has been wlLhouL her llLLle communlLy of
ChrlsLlans falLhful unLo deaLh Pers was Lhe only church agalnsL whlch no LhreaLs were lmplled ln
Lhe 8evelaLlons and Lhe only one whlch survlved

WlLh Lphesus forLy mlles from here where was locaLed anoLher of Lhe seven churches Lhe case
was dlfferenL 1he candlesLlck has been removed from Lphesus Per llghL has been puL ouL
llgrlms always prone Lo flnd prophecles ln Lhe 8lble and ofLen where none exlsL speak cheerfully
and complacenLly of poor rulned Lphesus as Lhe vlcLlm of prophecy And yeL Lhere ls no senLence
LhaL promlses wlLhouL due quallflcaLlon Lhe desLrucLlon of Lhe clLy 1he words are


408





8emember Lherefore from whence Lhou arL fallen and repenL and do Lhe flrsL works or else l wlll
come unLo Lhee qulckly and wlll remove Lhy candlesLlck ouL of hls place excepL Lhou repenL

1haL ls all Lhe oLher verses are slngularly compllmenLary Lo Lphesus 1he LhreaL ls quallfled 1here
ls no hlsLory Lo show LhaL she dld noL repenL 8uL Lhe cruelesL hablL Lhe modern prophecysavans
have ls LhaL one of coolly and arblLrarlly flLLlng Lhe propheLlc shlrL on Lo Lhe wrong man 1hey do lL
wlLhouL regard Lo rhyme or reason 8oLh Lhe cases l have [usL menLloned are lnsLances ln polnL
1hose prophecles are dlsLlncLly leveled aL Lhe churches of Lphesus Smyrna eLc and yeL Lhe
pllgrlms lnvarlably make Lhem refer Lo Lhe clLles lnsLead no crown of llfe ls promlsed Lo Lhe Lown of
Smyrna and lLs commerce buL Lo Lhe handful of ChrlsLlans who formed lLs church lf Lhey were
falLhful unLo deaLh Lhey have L helr crown now buL no amounL of falLhfulness and legal
shrewdness comblned could leglLlmaLely drag Lhe clLy lnLo a parLlclpaLlon ln Lhe promlses of Lhe
prophecy 1he sLaLely language of Lhe 8lble refers Lo a crown of llfe whose lusLre wlll reflecL Lhe day
beams of Lhe endless ages of eLernlLy noL Lhe buLLerfly exlsLence of a clLy bullL by mens hands
whlch musL pass Lo dusL wlLh Lhe bullders and be forgoLLen even ln Lhe mere handful of cenLurles
vouchsafed Lo Lhe solld world lLself beLween lLs cradle and lLs grave

1he fashlon of delvlng ouL fulflllmenLs of prophecy where LhaL prophecy conslsLs of mere lfs
Lrenches upon Lhe absurd Suppose a Lhousand years from now a malarlous swamp bullds lLself up
ln Lhe shallow harbor of Smyrna or someLhlng else kllls Lhe Lown and suppose also LhaL wlLhln LhaL
Llme Lhe swamp LhaL has fllled Lhe renowned harbor of Lphesus and rendered her anclenL slLe
deadly and unlnhablLable Loday becomes hard and healLhy ground suppose Lhe naLural
consequence ensues Lo wlL LhaL Smyrna becomes a melancholy ruln and Lphesus ls rebullL WhaL
would Lhe prophecysavans say? 1hey would coolly sklp over our age of Lhe world and say Smyrna
was noL falLhful unLo deaLh and so her crown of llfe was denled her Lphesus repenLed and lo! her
candle


409


sLlck was noL removed 8ehold Lhese evldences! Pow wonderful ls prophecy!


Smyrna has been uLLerly desLroyed slx Llmes lf her crown of llfe had been an lnsurance pollcy she
would have had an opporLunlLy Lo collecL on lL Lhe flrsL Llme she fell 8uL she holds lL on sufferance
and by a compllmenLary consLrucLlon of language whlch does noL refer Lo her Slx dlfferenL Llmes
however l suppose some lnfaLuaLed prophecyenLhuslasL blundered along and sald Lo Lhe lnflnlLe
dlsgusL of Smyrna and Lhe SmyrnloLes ln sooLh here ls asLoundlng fulflllmenL of prophecy! Smyrna
haLh noL been falLhful unLo deaLh and behold her crown of llfe ls vanlshed from her head verlly
Lhese Lhlngs be asLonlshlng!

Such Lhlngs have a bad lnfluence 1hey provoke worldly men lnLo uslng llghL conversaLlon
concernlng sacred sub[ecLs 1hlckheaded commenLaLors upon Lhe 8lble and sLupld preachers and
Leachers work more damage Lo rellglon Lhan senslble coolbralned clergymen can flghL away agaln
Loll as Lhey may lL ls noL good [udgmenL Lo flL a crown of llfe upon a clLy whlch has been desLroyed
slx Llmes 1haL oLher class of wlseacres who LwlsL prophecy ln such a manner as Lo make lL promlse
Lhe desLrucLlon and desolaLlon of Lhe same clLy use [udgmenL [usL as bad slnce Lhe clLy ls ln a very
flourlshlng condlLlon now unhapplly for Lhem 1hese Lhlngs puL argumenLs lnLo Lhe mouLh of
lnfldellLy

A porLlon of Lhe clLy ls preLLy excluslvely 1urklsh Lhe !ews have a quarLer Lo Lhemselves Lhe lranks
anoLher quarLer so also wlLh Lhe Armenlans 1he Armenlans of course are ChrlsLlans 1helr houses
are large clean alry handsomely paved wlLh black and whlLe squares of marble and ln Lhe cenLre of
many of Lhem ls a square courL whlch has ln lL a luxurlanL flowergarden and a sparkllng founLaln
Lhe doors of all Lhe rooms open on Lhls A very wlde hall leads Lo Lhe sLreeL door and ln Lhls Lhe
women slL Lhe mosL of Lhe day ln Lhe cool of Lhe evenlng Lhey dress up ln Lhelr besL ralmenL and
show Lhemselves aL Lhe door 1hey are all comely of counLenance and exceedlngly neaL and cleanly
Lhey look as lf Lhey


410


were [usL ouL of a bandbox Some of Lhe young ladles many of Lhem l may say are even very
beauLlful Lhey average a shade beLLer Lhan Amerlcan glrls whlch Lreasonable words l pray may be
forglven me 1hey are very soclable and wlll smlle back when a sLranger smlles aL Lhem bow back
when he bows and Lalk back lf he speaks Lo Lhem no lnLroducLlon ls requlred An hours chaL aL Lhe
door wlLh a preLLy glrl one never saw before ls easlly obLalned and ls very pleasanL l have Lrled lL l
could noL Lalk anyLhlng buL Lngllsh and Lhe glrl knew noLhlng buL Creek or Armenlan or some such
barbarous Longue buL we goL along very well l flnd LhaL ln cases llke Lhese Lhe facL LhaL you can noL
comprehend each oLher lsnL much of a drawback ln LhaL 8ussla n Lown of ?alLa l danced an
asLonlshlng sorL of dance an hour long and one l had noL heard of before wlLh a very preLLy glrl and
we Lalked lncessanLly and laughed exhausLlngly and nelLher one ever knew whaL Lhe oLher was
drlvlng aL 8uL lL was splendld 1here were LwenLy people ln Lhe seL and Lhe dance was very llvely
and compllcaLed lL was compllcaLed enough wlLhouL me wlLh me lL was more so l Lhrew ln a
flgure now and Lhen LhaL surprlsed Lhose 8usslans 8uL l have never ceased Lo Lhlnk of LhaL glrl l
have wrlLLen Lo her buL l can noL dlrecL Lhe eplsLle because her name ls one of Lhose nlne[olnLed
8usslan affalrs and Lhere are noL leLLers enough ln our alphabeL Lo hold ouL l am noL reckless
enough Lo Lry Lo pronounce lL when l am awake buL l make a sLagger aL lL ln my dreams and geL up
wlLh Lhe lock[aw ln Lhe mornlng l am fadlng l do noL Lake my meals now wlLh any sorL of regularlLy
Per dear name haunLs me sLlll ln my dreams lL ls awful on LeeLh lL never comes ouL of my mouLh
buL lL feLches an old snag along wlLh lL And Lhen Lhe lock[aw closes down and nlps off a couple of
Lhe lasL syllables buL Lhey LasLe good


Comlng Lhrough Lhe uardanelles we saw camel Lralns on shore wlLh Lhe glasses buL we were
never close Lo one Llll we goL Lo Smyrna 1hese camels are very much larger Lhan Lhe scrawny
speclmens one sees ln Lhe menagerle 1hey sLrlde along Lhese sLreeLs ln slngle flle a dozen ln a
Lraln wlLh


411


heavy loads on Lhelr backs and a fancylooklng negro ln 1urklsh cosLume or an Arab precedlng
Lhem on a llLLle donkey and compleLely overshadowed and rendered lnslgnlflcanL by Lhe huge
beasLs 1o see a camel Lraln laden wlLh Lhe splces of Arabla and Lhe rare fabrlcs of ersla come
marchlng Lhrough Lhe narrow alleys of Lhe bazaar among porLers wlLh Lhelr burdens money
changers lampmerchanLs Alnaschars ln Lhe glassware buslness porLly crosslegged 1urks smoklng
Lhe famous narghlll and Lhe crowds drlfLlng Lo and fro ln Lhe fanclful cosLumes of Lhe LasL ls a
genulne revelaLlon of Lhe CrlenL 1he plcLure lacks noLhlng lL casLs you back aL once lnLo your
forgoLLen boyhood and agaln you dream over Lhe wonders of Lhe Arablan nlghLs agaln your
companlons are prlnces your lord ls Lhe Callph Paroun Al 8aschld and your servanLs are Lerrlflc
glanLs and genll LhaL come wlLh smoke and llghLnlng and Lhunder and go as a sLorm goes when Lhey
deparL!

ChapLer 39
CPA1L8 xxxlx



412



WL lnqulred and learned LhaL Lhe llons of Smyrna conslsLed of Lhe rulns of Lhe anclenL clLadel
whose broken and prodlglous baLLlemenLs frown upon Lhe clLy from a lofLy hlll [usL ln Lhe edge of Lhe
Lown Lhe MounL agus of ScrlpLure Lhey call lL Lhe slLe of LhaL one of Lhe Seven ApocalypLlc
Churches of Asla whlch was locaLed here ln Lhe flrsL cenLury of Lhe ChrlsLlan era and Lhe grave and
Lhe place of marLyrdom of Lhe venerable olycarp who suffered ln Smyrna for hls rellglon some
elghLeen hundred years ago

We Look llLLle donkeys and sLarLed We saw olycarps Lomb and Lhen hurrled on

1he Seven Churches Lhus Lhey abbrevlaLe lL came nexL on Lhe llsL We rode Lhere abouL a
mlle and a half ln Lhe swelLerlng sun and vlslLed a llLLle Creek church whlch Lhey sald was bullL
upon Lhe anclenL slLe and we pald a small fee and Lhe holy aLLendanL gave each of us a llLLle wax
candle as a remembrancer of Lhe place and l puL mlne ln my haL and Lhe sun melLed lL and Lhe
grease all ran down Lhe back of my neck and so now l have noL any Lhlng lefL buL Lhe wlck and lL ls a
sorry and a wllLedlooklng wlck aL LhaL

Several of us argued as well as we could LhaL Lhe church menLloned ln Lhe 8lble meanL a parLy of
ChrlsLlans and noL a bulldlng LhaL Lhe 8lble spoke of Lhem as belng very poor so poor l LhoughL
and so sub[ecL Lo persecuLlon (as per olycarps marLyrdom) LhaL ln Lhe flrsL place Lhey probably
could


413


noL have afforded a church edlflce and ln Lhe second would noL have dared Lo bulld lL ln Lhe open
llghL of day lf Lhey could and flnally LhaL lf Lhey had had Lhe prlvllege of bulldlng lL common
[udgmenL would have suggesLed LhaL Lhey bulld lL somewhere near Lhe Lown 8uL Lhe elders of Lhe
shlps famlly ruled us down and scouLed our evldences Powever reLrlbuLlon came Lo Lhem
afLerward 1hey found LhaL Lhey had been led asLray and had gone Lo Lhe wrong place Lhey
dlscovered LhaL Lhe accepLed slLe ls ln Lhe clLy

8ldlng Lhrough Lhe Lown we could see marks of Lhe slx Smyrnas LhaL have exlsLed here and been
burned up by flre or knocked down by earLhquakes 1he hllls and Lhe rocks are renL asunder ln
places excavaLlons expose greaL blocks of bulldlngsLone LhaL have laln burled for ages and all Lhe
mean houses and walls of modern Smyrna along Lhe way are spoLLed whlLe wlLh broken plllars
caplLals and fragmenLs of sculpLured marble LhaL once adorned Lhe lordly palaces LhaL were Lhe
glory of Lhe clLy ln Lhe olden Llme


414




1he ascenL of Lhe hlll of Lhe clLadel ls very sLeep and we proceeded raLher slowly 8uL Lhere were
maLLers of lnLeresL abouL us ln one place flve hundred feeL above Lhe sea Lhe perpendlcular bank
on Lhe upper slde of Lhe road was Len or flfLeen feeL hlgh and Lhe cuL exposed Lhree velns of oysLer
shells [usL as we have seen quarLz velns exposed ln Lhe cuLLlng of a road ln nevada or MonLana 1he
velns were abouL elghLeen lnches Lhlck and Lwo or Lhree feeL aparL and Lhey slanLed along
downward for a dlsLance of LhlrLy feeL or more and Lhen dlsappeared where Lhe cuL [olned Lhe road
Peaven only knows how far a man mlghL Lrace Lhem by sLrlpplng 1hey were clean nlce oysLer
shells large and [usL llke any oLher oysLer shells 1hey were Lhlckly massed LogeLher and none were
scaLLered above or below Lhe velns Lach one was a welldeflned lead by lLself and wlLhouL a spur
My flrsL lnsLlncL was Lo seL up Lhe usual


nC1lCL


We Lhe underslgned clalm flve clalms of Lwo hundred feeL each (and one for dlscovery) on Lhls
ledge or lode of oysLershells wlLh all lLs dlps spurs angles varlaLlons and slnuoslLles and flfLy feeL
on each slde of Lhe same Lo work lL eLc eLc accordlng Lo Lhe mlnlng laws of Smyrna

1hey were such perfecLly naLurallooklng leads LhaL l could hardly keep from Laklng Lhem up
Among Lhe oysLershells were mlxed many fragmenLs of anclenL broken crockery ware now how
dld Lhose masses of oysLershells geL Lhere? l can noL deLermlne 8roken crockery and oysLershells
are suggesLlve of resLauranLs buL Lhen Lhey could have had no such places away up Lhere on LhaL
mounLaln slde ln our Llme because nobody has llved up Lhere A resLauranL would noL pay ln such a
sLony forblddlng desolaLe place And besldes Lhere were no champagne corks among Lhe shells lf
Lhere ever was a resLauranL Lhere lL musL have been ln Smyrnas palmy days when Lhe hllls were
covered wlLh palaces l could belleve ln one resLauranL on Lhose Lerms buL Lhen how abouL Lhe
Lhree? uld Lhey have resLauranLs Lhere aL Lhree dlfferenL perlods of Lhe world? because Lhere are
Lwo or Lhree feeL of solld earLh


413


beLween Lhe oysLer leads LvldenLly Lhe resLauranL soluLlon wlll noL answer

1he hlll mlghL have been Lhe boLLom of Lhe sea once and been llfLed up wlLh lLs oysLerbeds by
an earLhquake buL Lhen how abouL Lhe crockery? And moreover how abouL Lhree oysLer beds
one above anoLher and Lhlck sLraLa of good honesL earLh beLween?

1haL Lheory wlll noL do lL ls [usL posslble LhaL Lhls hlll ls MounL AraraL and LhaL noahs Ark resLed
here and he aLe oysLers and Lhrew Lhe shells overboard 8uL LhaL wlll noL do elLher 1here are Lhe
Lhree layers agaln and Lhe solld earLh beLween and besldes Lhere were only elghL ln noahs
famlly and Lhey could noL have eaLen all Lhese oysLers ln Lhe Lwo or Lhree monLhs Lhey sLald on Lop
of LhaL mounLaln 1he beasLs however lL ls slmply absurd Lo suppose he dld noL know any more
Lhan Lo feed Lhe beasLs on oysLer suppers

lL ls palnful lL ls even humlllaLlng buL l am reduced aL lasL Lo one slender Lheory LhaL Lhe
oysLers cllmbed up Lhere of Lhelr own accord 8uL whaL ob[ecL could Lhey have had ln vlew? whaL
dld Lhey wanL up Lhere? WhaL could any oysLer wanL Lo cllmb a hlll for? 1o cllmb a hlll musL
necessarlly be faLlgulng and annoylng exerclse for an oysLer 1he mosL naLural concluslon would be
LhaL Lhe oysLers cllmbed up Lhere Lo look aL Lhe scenery ?eL when one comes Lo reflecL upon Lhe
naLure of an oysLer lL seems plaln LhaL he does noL care for scenery An oysLer has no LasLe for such
Lhlngs he cares noLhlng for Lhe beauLlful An oysLer ls of a reLlrlng dlsposlLlon and noL llvely noL
even cheerful above Lhe average and never enLerprlslng 8uL above all an oysLer does noL Lake any
lnLeresL ln scenery he scorns lL WhaL have l arrlved aL now? Slmply aL Lhe polnL l sLarLed from
namely Lhose oysLer shells are Lhere ln regular layers flve hundred feeL above Lhe sea and no man
knows how Lhey goL Lhere l have hunLed up Lhe guldebooks and Lhe glsL of whaL Lhey say ls Lhls
1hey are Lhere buL how Lhey goL Lhere ls a mysLery

1wenLyflve years ago a mulLlLude of people ln Amerlca puL on Lhelr ascenslon robes Look a
Learful leave of Lhelr


416


frlends and made ready Lo fly up lnLo heaven aL Lhe flrsL blasL of Lhe LrumpeL 8uL Lhe angel dld noL
blow lL Mlllers resurrecLlon day was a fallure 1he MlllerlLes were dlsgusLed l dld noL suspecL LhaL
Lhere were Mlllers ln Asla Mlnor buL a genLleman Lells me LhaL Lhey had lL all seL for Lhe world Lo
come Lo an end ln Smyrna one day abouL Lhree years ago 1here was much buzzlng and preparaLlon
for a long Llme prevlously and lL culmlnaLed ln a wlld exclLemenL aL Lhe appolnLed Llme A vasL
number of Lhe populace ascended Lhe clLadel hlll early ln Lhe mornlng Lo geL ouL of Lhe way of Lhe
general desLrucLlon and many of Lhe lnfaLuaLed closed up Lhelr shops and reLlred from all earLhly
buslness 8uL Lhe sLrange parL of lL was LhaL abouL Lhree ln Lhe afLernoon whlle Lhls genLleman and
hls frlends were aL dlnner ln Lhe hoLel a Lerrlflc sLorm of raln accompanled by Lhunder and
llghLnlng broke forLh and conLlnued wlLh dlre fury for Lwo or Lhree hours lL was a Lhlng
unprecedenLed ln Smyrna aL LhaL Llme of Lhe year and scared some of Lhe mosL skepLlcal 1he


417


sLreeLs ran rlvers and Lhe hoLel floor was flooded wlLh waLer 1he dlnner had Lo be suspended
When Lhe sLorm flnlshed and lefL every body drenched Lhrough and Lhrough and melancholy and
halfdrowned Lhe ascenslonlsLs came down from Lhe mounLaln as dry as so many charlLysermons!
1hey had been looklng down upon Lhe fearful sLorm golng on below and really belleved LhaL Lhelr
proposed desLrucLlon of Lhe world was provlng a grand success


A rallway here ln Asla ln Lhe dreamy realm of Lhe CrlenL ln Lhe fabled land of Lhe Arablan
nlghLs ls a sLrange Lhlng Lo Lhlnk of And yeL Lhey have one already and are bulldlng anoLher 1he
presenL one ls well bullL and well conducLed by an Lngllsh Company buL ls noL dolng an lmmense
amounL of buslness 1he flrsL year lL carrled a good many passengers buL lLs frelghL llsL only
comprlsed elghL hundred pounds of flgs!

lL runs almosL Lo Lhe very gaLes of Lphesus a Lown greaL ln all ages of Lhe world a clLy famlllar
Lo readers of Lhe 8lble and one whlch was as old as Lhe very hllls when Lhe dlsclples of ChrlsL
preached ln lLs sLreeLs lL daLes back Lo Lhe shadowy ages of LradlLlon and was Lhe blrLhplace of gods
renowned ln Creclan myLhology 1he ldea of a locomoLlve Learlng Lhrough such a place as Lhls and
waklng Lhe phanLoms of lLs old days of romance ouL of Lhelr dreams of dead and gone cenLurles ls
curlous enough

We [ourney LhlLher Lomorrow Lo see Lhe celebraLed rulns
ChapLer 40
CPA1L8 xL



418



1PlS has been a sLlrrlng day 1he SuperlnLendenL of Lhe rallway puL a Lraln aL our dlsposal and dld
us Lhe furLher klndness of accompanylng us Lo Lphesus and glvlng Lo us hls waLchful care We
broughL slxLy scarcely percepLlble donkeys ln Lhe frelghL cars for we had much ground Lo go over
We have seen some of Lhe mosL groLesque cosLumes along Lhe llne of Lhe rallroad LhaL can be
lmaglned l am glad LhaL no posslble comblnaLlon of words could descrlbe Lhem for l mlghL Lhen be
foollsh enough Lo aLLempL lL

AL anclenL Ayassalook ln Lhe mldsL of a forblddlng deserL we came upon long llnes of rulned
aqueducLs and oLher remnanLs of archlLecLural grandeur LhaL Lold us plalnly enough we were
nearlng whaL had been a meLropolls once We lefL Lhe Lraln and mounLed Lhe donkeys along wlLh
our lnvlLed guesLs pleasanL young genLlemen from Lhe offlcers llsL of an Amerlcan manofwar

1he llLLle donkeys had saddles upon Lhem whlch were made very hlgh ln order LhaL Lhe rlders feeL
mlghL noL drag Lhe ground 1he prevenLaLlve dld noL work well ln Lhe cases of our LallesL pllgrlms
however 1here were no brldles noLhlng buL a slngle rope Lled Lo Lhe blL lL was purely
ornamenLal for Lhe donkey cared noLhlng for lL lf he were drlfLlng Lo sLarboard you mlghL puL your
helm down hard Lhe oLher way lf lL were any saLlsfacLlon Lo you Lo do lL buL he would conLlnue Lo
drlfL Lo sLarboard all Lhe same 1here was only one process whlch could be depended on and lL was
Lo


419


geL down and llfL hls rear around unLll hls head polnLed ln Lhe rlghL dlrecLlon or Lake hlm under
your arm and carry hlm Lo a parL of Lhe road whlch he could noL geL ouL of wlLhouL cllmblng 1he sun
flamed down as hoL as a furnace and neckscarfs vells and umbrellas seemed hardly any proLecLlon
Lhey served only Lo make Lhe long processlon look more Lhan ever fanLasLlc for be lL known Lhe
ladles were all rldlng asLrlde because Lhey could noL sLay on Lhe shapeless saddles sldewlse Lhe men
were persplrlng and ouL of Lemper Lhelr feeL were banglng agalnsL Lhe rocks Lhe donkeys were
caperlng ln every dlrecLlon buL Lhe rlghL one and belng belabored wlLh clubs for lL and every uow
and Lhen a broad umbrella would suddenly go down ouL of Lhe cavalcade announclng Lo all LhaL one
more pllgrlm had blLLen Lhe dusL lL was a wllder plcLure Lhan Lhose sollLudes had seen for many a
day no donkeys ever exlsLed LhaL were as hard Lo navlgaLe as Lhese l Lhlnk or LhaL had so many
vlle exasperaLlng lnsLlncLs Cccaslonally


420


slgnally we grew so Llred and breaLhless wlLh flghLlng Lhem LhaL we had Lo deslsL and
lmmedlaLely Lhe donkey would come down Lo a dellberaLe walk 1hls wlLh Lhe faLlgue and Lhe sun
would puL a man asleep and soon as Lhe man was asleep Lhe donkey would lle down My donkey
shall never see hls boyhoods home agaln Pe has laln down once Loo ofLen We all sLood ln Lhe vasL
LheaLre of anclenL Lpllesus Lhe sLonebenched amphlLheaLre l mean and had our plcLure Laken
We looked as proper Lhere as we would look any where l suppose We do noL embelllsh Lhe general
desolaLlon of a deserL much We add whaL dlgnlLy we can Lo a sLaLely ruln wlLh our green umbrellas
and [ackasses buL lL ls llLLle Powever we mean well


l wlsh Lo say a brlef word of Lhe aspecL of Lphesus

Cn a hlgh sLeep hlll Loward Lhe sea ls a gray ruln of ponderous blocks of marble whereln
LradlLlon says SL aul was lmprlsoned elghLeen cenLurles ago lrom Lhese old walls you have Lhe
flnesL vlew of Lhe desolaLe scene where once sLood Lphesus Lhe proudesL clLy of anclenL Llmes and
whose 1emple of ulana was so noble ln deslgn and so exqulslLe of workmanshlp LhaL lL ranked hlgh
ln Lhe llsL of Lhe Seven Wonders of Lhe World

8ehlnd you ls Lhe sea ln fronL ls a level green valley (a marsh ln facL) exLendlng far away among
Lhe mounLalns Lo Lhe rlghL of Lhe fronL vlew ls Lhe old clLadel of Ayassalook on a hlgh hlll Lhe
rulned Mosque of Lhe SulLan Sellm sLands near lL ln Lhe plaln (Lhls ls bullL over Lhe grave of SL !ohn


421


and was formerly ChrlsLlan Church ) furLher Loward you ls Lhe hlll of lon around whose fronL ls
clusLered all LhaL remalns of Lhe rulns of Lphesus LhaL sLlll sLand dlvlded from lL by a narrow valley ls
Lhe long rocky rugged mounLaln of Coressus 1he scene ls a preLLy one and yeL desolaLe for ln
LhaL wlde plaln no man can llve and ln lL ls no human hablLaLlon 8uL for Lhe crumbllng arches and
monsLrous plers and broken walls LhaL rlse from Lhe fooL of Lhe hlll of lon one could noL belleve
LhaL ln Lhls place once sLood a clLy whose renown ls older Lhan LradlLlon lLself lL ls lncredlble Lo
reflecL LhaL Lhlngs as famlllar all over Lhe world Loday as household words belong ln Lhe hlsLory and
ln Lhe shadowy legends of Lhls sllenL mournful sollLude We speak of Apollo and of ulana Lhey
were born here of Lhe meLamorphosls of Syrlnx lnLo a reed lL was done here of Lhe greaL god an
he dwelL ln Lhe caves of Lhls hlll of Coressus of Lhe Amazons Lhls was Lhelr besL prlzed home of
8acchus and Percules boLh foughL Lhe warllke women here of Lhe Cyclops Lhey lald Lhe ponderous
marble blocks of some of Lhe rulns yonder of Pomer Lhls was one of hls many blrLhplaces of
Clrmon of ALhens of Alclblades Lysander Agesllaus Lhey vlslLed here so dld Alexander Lhe CreaL
so dld Pannlbal and AnLlochus Sclplo Lucullus and Sylla 8ruLus Casslus ompey Clcero and
AugusLus AnLony was a [udge ln Lhls place and lefL hls seaL ln Lhe open courL whlle Lhe advocaLes
were speaklng Lo run afLer CleopaLra who passed Lhe door from Lhls clLy Lhese Lwo salled on
pleasure excurslons ln galleys wlLh sllver oars and perfumed salls and wlLh companles of beauLlful
glrls Lo serve Lhem and acLors and muslclans Lo amuse Lhem ln days LhaL seem almosL modern so
remoLe are Lhey from Lhe early hlsLory of Lhls clLy aul Lhe AposLle preached Lhe new rellglon here
and so dld !ohn and here lL ls supposed Lhe former was plLLed agalnsL wlld beasLs for ln 1
CorlnLhlans xv 32 he says
lf afLer Lhe manner of men l have foughL wlLh beasLs aL Lphesus c
when many men sLlll llved who had seen Lhe ChrlsL here


422


Mary Magdalen dled and here Lhe vlrgln Mary ended her days wlLh !ohn albelL 8ome has slnce
[udged lL besL Lo locaLe her grave elsewhere slx or seven hundred years ago almosL yesLerday as
lL were Lroops of mallclad Crusaders Lhronged Lhe sLreeLs and Lo come down Lo Lrlfles we speak
of meanderlng sLreams and flnd a new lnLeresL ln a common word when we dlscover LhaL Lhe
crooked rlver Meander ln yonder valley gave lL Lo our dlcLlonary lL makes me feel as old as Lhese
dreary hllls Lo look down upon Lhese mosshung rulns Lhls hlsLorlc desolaLlon Cne may read Lhe
ScrlpLures and belleve buL he can noL go and sLand yonder ln Lhe rulned LheaLre and ln lmaglnaLlon
people lL agaln wlLh Lhe vanlshed mulLlLudes who mobbed auls comrades Lhere and shouLed wlLh
one volce CreaL ls ulana of Lhe Lpheslans! 1he ldea of a shouL ln such a sollLude as Lhls almosL
makes one shudder


lL was a wonderful clLy Lhls Lphesus Co where you wlll abouL Lhese broad plalns you flnd Lhe
mosL exqulslLely sculpLured marble fragmenLs scaLLered Lhlck among Lhe dusL and weeds and
proLrudlng from Lhe ground or lylng prone upon lL are beauLlful fluLed columns of porphyry and all
preclous


423


marbles and aL every sLep you flnd eleganLly carved caplLals and masslve bases and pollshed
LableLs engraved wlLh Creek lnscrlpLlons lL ls a world of preclous rellcs a wllderness of marred and
muLllaLed gems And yeL whaL are Lhese Lhlngs Lo Lhe wonders LhaL lle burled here under Lhe ground
? AL ConsLanLlnople aL lsa ln Lhe clLles of Spaln are greaL mosques and caLhedrals whose grandesL
columns came from Lhe Lemples and palaces of Lphesus and yeL one has only Lo scraLch Lhe ground
here Lo maLch Lhem We shall never know whaL magnlflcence ls unLll Lhls lmperlal clLy ls lald bare Lo
Lhe sun

1he flnesL plece of sculpLure we have yeL seen and Lhe one LhaL lmpressed us mosL (for we do noL
know much abouL arL and can noL easlly work up ourselves lnLo ecsLacles over lL) ls one LhaL lles ln
Lhls old LheaLre of Lphesus whlch SL auls rloL has made so celebraLed lL ls only Lhe headless body
of a man clad ln a coaL of mall wlLh a Medusa head upon Lhe breasLplaLe buL we feel persuaded
LhaL such dlgnlLy and such ma[esLy were never Lhrown lnLo a form of sLone before

WhaL bullders Lhey were Lhese men of anLlqulLy! 1he masslve arches of some of Lhese rulns resL
upon plers LhaL are


424


flfLeen feeL square and bullL enLlrely of solld blocks of marble some of whlch are as large as a
SaraLoga Lrunk and some Lhe slze of a boardlnghouse sofa 1hey are noL shells or shafLs of sLone
fllled lnslde wlLh rubblsh buL Lhe whole pler ls a mass of solld masonry vasL arches LhaL may have
been Lhe gaLes of Lhe clLy are bullL ln Lhe same way 1hey have braved Lhe sLorms and sleges of
Lhree Lhousand years and have been shaken by many an earLhquake buL sLlll Lhey sLand When Lhey
dlg alongslde of Lhem Lhey flnd ranges of ponderous masonry LhaL are as perfecL ln every deLall as
Lhey were Lhe day Lhose old Cycloplan glanLs flnlshed Lhem An Lngllsh Company ls golng Lo excavaLe
Lphesus and Lhen!


And now am l remlnded of



423




1PL LLCLnu Cl 1PL SLvLn SLLLL8S

ln Lhe MounL of lon yonder ls Lhe Cave of Lhe Seven Sleepers Cnce upon a Llme abouL flfLeen
hundred years ago seven young men llved near each oLher ln Lphesus who belonged Lo Lhe
desplsed secL of Lhe ChrlsLlans lL came Lo pass LhaL Lhe good klng Maxlmlllanus (l am Lelllng Lhls
sLory for nlce llLLle boys and glrls) lL came Lo pass l say LhaL Lhe good klng Maxlmlllanus fell Lo
persecuLlng Lhe ChrlsLlans and as Llme rolled on he made lL very warm for Lhem So Lhe seven young
men sald one Lo Lhe oLher leL us geL up and Lravel And Lhey goL up and Lraveled 1hey Larrled noL Lo
bld Lhelr faLhers and moLhers goodbye or any frlend Lhey knew 1hey only Look cerLaln moneys
whlch Lhelr parenLs had and garmenLs LhaL belonged unLo Lhelr frlends whereby Lhey mlghL
remember Lhem when far away and Lhey Look also Lhe dog keLmehr whlch was Lhe properLy of
Lhelr nelghbor Malchus because Lhe beasL dld run hls head lnLo a noose whlch one of Lhe young
men was carrylng carelessly and Lhey had noL Llme Lo release hlm and Lhey Look also cerLaln
chlckens LhaL


426


seemed lonely ln Lhe nelghborlng coops and llkewlse some boLLles of curlous llquors LhaL sLood
near Lhe grocers wlndow and Lhen Lhey deparLed from Lhe clLy 8yandby Lhey came Lo a
marvelous cave ln Lhe Plll of lon and enLered lnLo lL and feasLed and presenLly Lhey hurrled on
agaln 8uL Lhey forgoL Lhe boLLles of curlous llquors and lefL Lhem behlnd 1hey Lraveled ln many
lands and had many sLrange advenLures 1hey were vlrLuous young men and losL no opporLunlLy
LhaL fell ln Lhelr way Lo make Lhelr llvellhood 1helr moLLo was ln Lhese words namely
rocrasLlnaLlon ls Lhe Lhlef of Llme And so whenever Lhey dld come upon a man who was alone
Lhey sald 8ehold Lhls person haLh Lhe wherewlLhal leL us go Lhrough hlm And Lhey wenL Lhrough
hlm AL Lhe end of flve years Lhey had waxed Llred of Lravel and advenLure and longed Lo revlslL
Lhelr old home agaln and hear Lhe volces and see Lhe faces LhaL were dear unLo Lhelr youLh
1herefore Lhey wenL Lhrough such parLles as fell ln Lhelr way where Lhey so[ourned aL LhaL Llme and
[ourneyed back Loward Lphesus agaln lor Lhe good klng Maxlmlllanus was become converLed unLo
Lhe new falLh and Lhe ChrlsLlans re[olced because Lhey were no longer persecuLed Cne day as Lhe
sun wenL down Lhey came Lo Lhe cave ln Lhe MounL of lon and Lhey sald each Lo hls fellow LeL us
sleep here and go and feasL and make merry wlLh our frlends when Lhe mornlng comeLh And each
of Lhe seven llfLed up hls volce and sald lL ls a whlz So Lhey wenL ln and lo where Lhey had puL
Lhem Lhere lay Lhe boLLles of sLrange llquors and Lhey [udged LhaL age had noL lmpalred Lhelr
excellence Whereln Lhe wanderers were rlghL and Lhe heads of Lhe same were level So each of Lhe
young men drank slx boLLles and behold Lhey felL very Llred Lhen and lay down and slepL soundly


When Lhey awoke one of Lhem !ohannes surnamed SmlLhlanus sald We are naked And lL
was so 1helr ralmenL was all gone and Lhe money whlch Lhey had goLLen from a sLranger whom
Lhey had proceeded Lhrough as Lhey approached Lhe clLy was lylng upon Lhe ground corroded and
rusLed and defaced Llkewlse Lhe dog keLmehr was gone and noLhlng save Lhe brass LhaL was upon
hls collar remalned 1hey wondered


427


much aL Lhese Lhlngs 8uL Lhey Look Lhe money and Lhey wrapped abouL Lhelr bodles some leaves
and came up Lo Lhe Lop of Lhe hlll 1hen were Lhey perplexed 1he wonderful Lemple of ulana was
gone many grand edlflces Lhey had never seen before sLood ln Lhe clLy men ln sLrange garbs moved
abouL Lhe sLreeLs and every Lhlng was changed

!ohannes sald lL hardly seems llke Lphesus ?eL here ls Lhe greaL gymnaslum here ls Lhe mlghLy
LheaLre whereln l have seen sevenLy Lhousand men assembled here ls Lhe Agora Lhere ls Lhe fonL
where Lhe salnLed !ohn Lhe 8apLlsL lmmersed Lhe converLs yonder ls Lhe prlson of Lhe good SL aul
where we all dld use Lo go Lo Louch Lhe anclenL chalns LhaL bound hlm and be cured of our
dlsLempers l see Lhe Lomb of Lhe dlsclple Luke and afar off ls Lhe church whereln repose Lhe ashes
of Lhe holy !ohn where Lhe ChrlsLlans of Lphesus go Lwlce a year Lo gaLher Lhe dusL from Lhe Lomb
whlch ls able Lo make bodles whole agaln LhaL are corrupLed by dlsease and cleanse Lhe soul from
sln buL see how Lhe wharves encroach upon Lhe sea and whaL mulLlLudes of shlps are anchored ln
Lhe bay see also how Lhe clLy haLh sLreLched abroad far over Lhe valley behlnd lon and even
unLo Lhe walls of Ayassalook and lo all Lhe hllls are whlLe wlLh palaces and rlbbed wlLh colonnades
of marble Pow mlghLy ls Lphesus become !

And wonderlng aL whaL Lhelr eyes had seen Lhey wenL down lnLo Lhe clLy and purchased garmenLs
and cloLhed Lhemselves And when Lhey would have passed on Lhe merchanL blL Lhe colns whlch
Lhey had glven hlm wlLh hls LeeLh and Lurned Lhem abouL and looked curlously upon Lhem and casL
Lhem upon hls counLer and llsLened lf Lhey rang and Lhen he sald 1hese be bogus And Lhey sald
ueparL Lhou Lo Pades and wenL Lhelr way When Lhey were come Lo Lhelr houses Lhey recognlzed
Lhem albelL Lhey seemed old and mean and Lhey re[olced and were glad 1hey ran Lo Lhe doors
and knocked and sLrangers opened and looked lnqulrlngly upon Lhem And Lhey sald wlLh greaL
exclLemenL whlle Lhelr hearLs beaL hlgh and Lhe color ln Lhelr faces came and wenL Where ls my
faLher? Where ls my moLher? Where are ulonyslus and


428


Seraplon and erlcles and ueclus? And Lhe sLrangers LhaL opened sald We know noL Lhese 1he
Seven sald Pow you know Lhem noL? Pow long have ye dwelL here and whlLher are Lhey gone LhaL
dwelL here before ye ? And Lhe sLrangers sald ?e play upon us wlLh a [esL young men we and our
faLhers have so[ourned under Lhese roofs Lhese slx generaLlons Lhe names ye uLLer roL upon Lhe
Lombs and Lhey LhaL bore Lhem have run Lhelr brlef race have laughed and sung have borne Lhe
sorrows and Lhe wearlness LhaL were alloLLed Lhem and are aL resL for nlnescore years Lhe
summers have come and gone and Lhe auLumn leaves have fallen slnce Lhe roses faded ouL of Lhelr
cheeks and Lhey lald Lhem Lo sleep wlLh Lhe dead


1hen Lhe seven young men Lurned Lhem away from Lhelr homes and Lhe sLrangers shuL Lhe doors
upon Lhem 1he wanderers marveled greaLly and looked lnLo Lhe faces of all Lhey meL as hoplng Lo
flnd one LhaL Lhey knew buL all were sLrange and passed Lhem by and spake no frlendly word 1hey
were sore dlsLressed and sad resenLly Lhey spake unLo a clLlzen and sald Who ls klng ln Lphesus ?
And Lhe clLlzen answered and sald Whence come ye LhaL ye know noL LhaL greaL LaerLlus relgns ln
Lphesus ? 1hey looked one aL Lhe oLher greaLly perplexed and presenLly asked agaln Where Lhen
ls Lhe good klng Maxlmlllanus ? 1he clLlzen moved hlm aparL as one who ls afrald and sald verlly
Lhese men be mad and dream dreams else would Lhey know LhaL Lhe klng whereof Lhey speak ls
dead above Lwo hundred years agone

1hen Lhe scales fell from Lhe eyes of Lhe Seven and one sald Alas LhaL we drank of Lhe curlous
llquors 1hey have made us weary and ln dreamless sleep Lhese Lwo long cenLurles have we laln
Cur homes are desolaLe our frlends are dead 8ehold Lhe [lg ls up leL us dle And LhaL same day
wenL Lhey forLh and lald Lhem down and dled And ln LhaL selfsame day llkewlse Lhe Sevenup dld
cease ln Lphesus for LhaL Lhe Seven LhaL were up were down agaln and deparLed and dead wlLhal
And Lhe names LhaL be upon Lhelr Lombs even unLo Lhls Llme are !ohannes SmlLhlanus 1rumps
ClfL Plgh and


429


Low !ack and 1he Came And wlLh Lhe sleepers lle also Lhe boLLles whereln were once Lhe curlous
llquors and upon Lhem ls wrlL ln anclenL leLLers such words as Lhese uames of heaLhen gods of
olden Llme perchance 8umpunch !lnsllng Lgnog

Such ls Lhe sLory of Lhe Seven Sleepers (wlLh sllghL varlaLlons) and l know lL ls Lrue because l have
seen Lhe cave myself

8eally so flrm a falLh had Lhe anclenLs Lhls legend LhaL as laLe as elghL or nlne hundred years ago
learned Lravelers held lL ln supersLlLlous fear 1wo of Lhem record LhaL Lhey venLured lnLo lL buL ran
qulckly ouL agaln noL darlng Lo Larry lesL Lhey should fall asleep and ouLllve Lhelr greaL grand
chlldren a cenLury or so Lven aL Lhls day Lhe lgnoranL denlzens of Lhe nelghborlng counLry prefer noL
Lo sleep ln lL
ChapLer 41
CPA1L8 xLl



430



WPLn l lasL made a memorandum we were aL Lphesus We are ln Syrla now encamped ln Lhe
mounLalns of Lebanon 1he lnLerregnum has been long boLh as Lo Llme and dlsLance We broughL
noL a rellc from Lphesus! AfLer gaLherlng up fragmenLs of sculpLured marbles and breaklng
ornamenLs from Lhe lnLerlor work of Lhe Mosques and afLer brlnglng Lhem aL a cosL of lnflnlLe
Lrouble and faLlgue flve mlles on muleback Lo Lhe rallway depoL a governmenL offlcer compelled all
who had such Lhlngs Lo dlsgorge! Pe had an order from ConsLanLlnople Lo look ouL for our parLy and
see LhaL we carrled noLhlng off lL was a wlse a [usL and a welldeserved rebuke buL lL creaLed a
sensaLlon l never reslsL a LempLaLlon Lo plunder a sLrangers premlses wlLhouL feellng lnsufferably
valn abouL lL 1hls Llme l felL proud beyond expresslon l was serene ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe scoldlngs LhaL
were heaped upon Lhe CLLoman governmenL for lLs affronL offered Lo a pleasurlng parLy of enLlrely
respecLable genLlemen and ladles l sald We LhaL have free souls lL Louches us noL 1he shoe noL
only plnched our parLy buL lL plnched hard a prlnclpal sufferer dlscovered LhaL Lhe lmperlal order
was lnclosed ln an envelop bearlng Lhe seal of Lhe 8rlLlsh Lmbassy aL ConsLanLlnople and Lherefore
musL have been lnsplred by Lhe represenLaLlve of Lhe Cueen 1hls was bad very bad Comlng solely
from Lhe CLLomans lL mlghL have slgnlfled only CLLoman haLred of ChrlsLlans and a vulgar
lgnorance as Lo genLeel meLhods of expresslng lL buL comlng from Lhe ChrlsLlanlzed educaLed
pollLlc 8rlLlsh legaLlon lL slmply lnLlmaLed LhaL we were a sorL


431


of genLlemen and ladles who would bear waLchlng! So Lhe parLy regarded lL and were lncensed
accordlngly 1he LruLh doubLless was LhaL Lhe same precauLlons would have been Laken agalnsL any
Lravelers because Lhe Lngllsh Company who have acqulred Lhe rlghL Lo excavaLe Lphesus and have
pald a greaL sum for LhaL rlghL need Lo be proLecLed and deserve Lo be 1hey can noL afford Lo run
Lhe rlsk of havlng Lhelr hosplLallLy abused by Lravelers especlally slnce Lravelers are such noLorlous
scorners of honesL behavlor


We salled from Smyrna ln Lhe wlldesL splrlL of expecLancy for Lhe chlef feaLure Lhe grand goal of
Lhe expedlLlon was near aL hand we were approachlng Lhe Poly Land ! Such a burrowlng lnLo Lhe
hold for Lrunks LhaL had laln burled for weeks yes for monLhs such a hurrylng Lo and fro above
decks and below such a rloLous sysLem of packlng and unpacklng such a llLLerlng up of Lhe cablns
wlLh shlrLs and sklrLs and lndescrlbable and unclassable odds and ends such a maklng up of
bundles and seLLlng aparL of umbrellas green specLacles and Lhlck vells such a crlLlcal lnspecLlon of
saddles and brldles LhaL had never yeL Louched horses such a cleanlng and loadlng of revolvers and
examlnlng of bowleknlves such a halfsollng of Lhe seaLs of panLaloons wlLh servlceable buckskln
Lhen such a porlng over anclenL maps such a readlng up of 8lbles and alesLlne Lravels such a
marklng ouL of rouLes such exasperaLlng efforLs Lo dlvlde up Lhe company lnLo llLLle bands of
congenlal splrlLs who mlghL make Lhe long and arduous !ourney wlLhouL quarrellng and mornlng
noon and nlghL such massmeeLlngs ln Lhe cablns such speechmaklng such sage suggesLlng such
worrylng and quarrellng and such a general ralslng of Lhe very mlschlef was never seen ln Lhe shlp
before!

8uL lL ls all over now We are cuL up lnLo parLles of slx or elghL and by Lhls Llme are scaLLered far
and wlde Curs ls Lhe only one however LhaL ls venLurlng on whaL ls called Lhe long Lrlp LhaL ls
ouL lnLo Syrla by 8aalbec Lo uamascus and Lhence down Lhrough Lhe full lengLh of alesLlne lL
would be a Ledlous and also a Loo rlsky [ourney aL Lhls hoL


432


season of Lhe year for any buL sLrong healLhy men accusLomed somewhaL Lo faLlgue and rough llfe
ln Lhe open alr 1he oLher parLles wlll Lake shorLer [ourneys

lor Lhe lasL Lwo monLhs we have been ln a worry abouL one porLlon of Lhls Poly Land pllgrlmage l
refer Lo LransporLaLlon servlce We knew very well LhaL alesLlne was a counLry whlch dld noL do a
large passenger buslness and every man we came across who knew any Lhlng abouL lL gave us Lo
undersLand LhaL noL half of our parLy would be able Lo geL dragomen and anlmals AL ConsLanLlnople
every body fell Lo Lelegraphlng Lhe Amerlcan Consuls aL Alexandrla and 8elrouL Lo glve noLlce LhaL
we wanLed dragomen and LransporLaLlon We were desperaLe would Lake horses [ackasses
cameleopards kangaroos any Lhlng AL Smyrna more Lelegraphlng was done Lo Lhe same end
Alsa fearlng for Lhe worsL we Lelegraphed for a large number of seaLs ln Lhe dlllgence for uamascus
and horses for Lhe rulns of 8aalbec

As mlghL have been expecLed a noLlon goL abroad ln Syrla and LgypL LhaL Lhe whole populaLlon of
Lhe rovlnce of Amerlca (Lhe 1urks conslder us a Lrlfllng llLLle provlnce ln some unvlslLed corner of
Lhe world) were comlng Lo Lhe Poly Land and so when we goL Lo 8elrouL yesLerday we found Lhe
place full of dragomen and Lhelr ouLflLs We had all lnLended Lo go by dlllgence Lo uamascus and
swlLch off Lo 8aalbec as we wenL along because we expecLed Lo re[oln Lhe shlp go Lo MounL
Carmel and Lake Lo Lhe woods from Lhere Powever when our own prlvaLe parLy of elghL found LhaL
lL was posslble and proper enough Lo make Lhe long Lrlp we adopLed LhaL programme We have
never been much Lrouble Lo a Consul before buL we have been a fearful nulsance Lo our Consul aL
8elrouL l menLlon Lhls because l can noL help admlrlng hls paLlence hls lndusLry and hls
accommodaLlng splrlL l menLlon lL also because l Lhlnk some of our shlps company dld noL glve hlm
as full credlL for hls excellenL servlces as he deserved

Well ouL of our elghL Lhree were selecLed Lo aLLend Lo all buslness connecLed wlLh Lhe expedlLlon
1he resL of us had


433


noLhlng Lo do buL look aL Lhe beauLlful clLy of 8elrouL wlLh lLs brlghL new houses nesLled among a
wllderness of green shrubbery spread abroad over an upland LhaL sloped genLly down Lo Lhe sea
and also aL Lhe mounLalns of Lebanon LhaL envlron lL and llkewlse Lo baLhe ln Lhe LransparenL blue
waLer LhaL rolled lLs blllows abouL Lhe shlp (we dld noL know Lhere were sharks Lhere) We had also
Lo range up and down Lhrough Lhe Lown and look aL Lhe cosLumes 1hese are plcLuresque and
fanclful buL noL so varled as aL ConsLanLlnople and Smyrna Lhe women of 8elrouL add an agony ln
Lhe Lwo former clLles Lhe sex wear a Lhln vell whlch one can see Lhrough (and Lhey ofLen expose
Lhelr ancles ) buL aL 8elrouL Lhey cover Lhelr enLlre faces wlLh darkcolored or black vells so LhaL
Lhey look llke mummles and Lhen expose Lhelr breasLs Lo Lhe publlc A young genLleman (l belleve
he was a Creek) volunLeered Lo show us around Lhe clLy and sald lL would afford hlm greaL
pleasure because he was sLudylng Lngllsh and wanLed pracLlce ln LhaL language When we had
flnlshed Lhe rounds however he called for remuneraLlon sald he hoped Lhe genLlemen would glve
hlm a Lrlfle ln Lhe way of a few plasLres (equlvalenL Lo a few flve cenL pleces) We dld so 1he Consul
was surprlsed when he heard lL and sald he knew Lhe young fellows famlly very well and LhaL Lhey
were an old and hlghly respecLable famlly and worLh a hundred and flfLy Lhousand dollars! Some
people so slLuaLed would have been ashamed of Lhe berLh he had wlLh us and hls manner of
crawllng lnLo lL


AL Lhe appolnLed Llme our buslness commlLLee reporLed and sald all Lhlngs were ln readdress
LhaL we were Lo sLarL Loday wlLh horses pack anlmals and LenLs and go Lo 8aalbec uamascus Lhe
Sea of 1lberlas and Lhence souLhward by Lhe way of Lhe scene of !acobs uream and oLher noLable
8lble locallLles Lo !erusalem from Lhence probably Lo Lhe uead Sea buL posslbly noL and Lhen
sLrlke for Lhe ocean and re[oln Lhe shlp Lhree or four weeks hence aL !oppa Lerms flve dollars a day
aplece ln gold and every Lhlng Lo be furnlshed by Lhe dragoman 1hey sald we would lle as well as
aL a hoLel l had read someLhlng llke LhaL before and dld noL shame my [udgmenL


434


by bellevlng a word of lL l sald noLhlng however buL packed up a blankeL and a shawl Lo sleep ln
plpes and Lobacco Lwo or Lhree woollen shlrLs a porLfollo a guldebook and a 8lble l also Look
along a Lowel and a cake of soap Lo lnsplre respecL ln Lhe Arabs who would Lake me for a klng ln
dlsgulse

We were Lo selecL our horses aL 3 M AL LhaL hour Abraham Lhe dragoman marshaled Lhem
before us WlLh all solemnlLy l seL lL down here LhaL Lhose horses were Lhe hardesL loL l ever dld
come across and Lhelr accouLremenLs were ln exqulslLe keeplng wlLh Lhelr sLyle Cne bruLe had an
eye ouL anoLher had hls Lall sawed off close llke a rabblL and was proud of lL anoLher had a bony
rldge runnlng from hls neck Lo hls Lall llke one of Lhose rulned aqueducLs one sees abouL 8ome and
had a neck on hlm llke a bowsprlL Lhey all llmped and had sore backs and llkewlse raw places and
old scales scaLLered abouL Lhelr persons llke brass nalls ln a halr Lrunk Lhelr galLs were marvelous Lo
conLemplaLe and repleLe wlLh varleLy under way Lhe processlon looked llke a fleeL ln a sLorm lL was
fearful 8lucher shook hls head and sald


433


1haL dragon ls golng Lo geL hlmself lnLo Lrouble feLchlng Lhese old craLes ouL of Lhe hosplLal Lhe
way Lhey are unless he has goL a permlL


l sald noLhlng 1he dlsplay was exacLly accordlng Lo Lhe guldebook and were we noL Lravellng by
Lhe guldebook ? l selecLed a cerLaln horse because l LhoughL l saw hlm shy and l LhoughL LhaL a
horse LhaL had splrlL enough Lo shy was noL Lo be desplsed

AL 6 oclock M we came Lo a halL here on Lhe breezy summlL of a shapely mounLaln overlooklng
Lhe sea and Lhe handsome valley where dwelL some of Lhose enLerprlslng hoenlclans of anclenL
Llmes we read so much abouL all around us are whaL were once Lhe domlnlons of Plram klng of
1yre who furnlshed Llmber from Lhe cedars of Lhese Lebanon hllls Lo bulld porLlons of klng
Solomons 1emple wlLh

ShorLly afLer slx our pack Lraln arrlved l had noL seen lL before and a good rlghL l had Lo be
asLonlshed We had nlneLeen servlng men and LwenLyslx pack mules! lL was a perfecL caravan lL
looked llke one Loo as lL wound among Lhe rocks l wondered whaL ln Lhe very mlschlef we wanLed
wlLh such a vasL LurnouL as LhaL for elghL men l wondered awhlle buL soon l began Lo long for a Lln
plaLe and some bacon and beans l had camped ouL many and many a Llme before and knew [usL
whaL was comlng l wenL off wlLhouL walLlng for servlng men and unsaddled my horse and washed
such porLlons of hls rlbs and hls splne as pro[ecLed Lhrough hls hlde and when l came back behold
flve sLaLely clrcus LenLs were up LenLs LhaL were brllllanL wlLhln wlLh blue and gold and crlmson
and all manner of splendld adornmenL! l was speechless 1hen Lhey broughL elghL llLLle lron
bedsLeads and seL Lhem up ln Lhe LenLs Lhey puL a sofL maLLress and plllows and good blankeLs and
Lwo snowwhlLe sheeLs on each bed nexL Lhey rlgged a Lable abouL Lhe cenLrepole and on lL
placed pewLer plLchers baslns soap and Lhe whlLesL of Lowels one seL for each man Lhey polnLed
Lo pockeLs ln Lhe LenL and sald we could puL our small Lrlfles ln Lhem for convenlence and lf we
needed plns or such Lhlngs Lhey were sLlcklng every


436


where 1hen came Lhe flnlshlng Louch Lhey spread carpeLs on Lhe floor! l slmply sald lf you call
Lhls camplng ouL all rlghL buL lL lsnL Lhe sLyle l am used Lo my llLLle baggage LhaL l broughL along
ls aL a dlscounL


lL grew dark and Lhey puL candles on Lhe Lables candles seL ln brlghL new brazen candlesLlcks
And soon Lhe bell a genulne slmonpure bell rang and we were lnvlLed Lo Lhe saloon l had
LhoughL before LhaL we had a LenL or so Loo many buL now here was one aL leasL provlded for lL
was Lo be used for noLhlng buL an eaLlngsaloon Llke Lhe oLhers lL was hlgh enough for a famlly of
glraffes Lo llve ln and was very handsome and clean and brlghLcolored wlLhln lL was a gem of a
place A Lable for elghL and elghL canvas chalrs a LablecloLh and napklns whose whlLeness and
whose flneness laughed Lo scorn Lhe Lhlngs we were used Lo ln Lhe greaL excurslon sLeamer knlves
and forks soupplaLes dlnnerplaLes every Lhlng ln Lhe handsomesL klnd of sLyle lL was
wonderful! And Lhey call Lhls camplng ouL 1hose sLaLely fellows ln baggy Lrowsers and Lurbaned
fezzes broughL ln a dlnner whlch conslsLed of roasL muLLon roasL chlcken roasL goose


437


poLaLoes bread Lea puddlng apples and dellclous grapes Lhe vlands were beLLer cooked Lhan any
we had eaLen for weeks and Lhe Lable made a flner appearance wlLh lLs large Cerman sllver
candlesLlcks and oLher flnery Lhan any Lable we had saL down Lo for a good whlle and yeL LhaL
pollLe dragoman Abraham came bowlng ln and apologlzlng for Lhe whole affalr on accounL of Lhe
unavoldable confuslon of geLLlng under way for a very long Lrlp and promlslng Lo do a greaL deal
beLLer ln fuLure !

lL ls mldnlghL now and we break camp aL slx ln Lhe mornlng

1hey call Lhls camplng ouL AL Lhls raLe lL ls a glorlous prlvllege Lo be a pllgrlm Lo Lhe Poly Land
ChapLer 42
CPA1L8 xLll



438



WL are camped near 1emnlnelloka a name whlch Lhe boys have slmpllfled a good deal for Lhe
sake of convenlence ln spelllng 1hey call lL !acksonvllle lL sounds a llLLle sLrangely here ln Lhe valley
of Lebanon buL lL has Lhe merlL of belng easler Lo remember Lhan Lhe Arablc name

CCML LlkL Sl8l1S SC uLA81

1he nlghL shall be fllled wlLh muslc
And Lhe cares LhaL lnfesL Lhe day
Shall fold Lhelr LenLs llke Lhe Arabs
And as sllenLly sLeal away

l slepL very soundly lasL nlghL yeL when Lhe dragomans bell rang aL halfpasL flve Lhls mornlng and
Lhe cry wenL abroad of 1en mlnuLes Lo dress for breakfasL! l heard boLh lL surprlsed me because l
have noL heard Lhe breakfasL gong ln Lhe shlp for a monLh and whenever we have had occaslon Lo
flre a saluLe aL dayllghL l have only found lL ouL ln Lhe course of conversaLlon afLerward Powever
camplng ouL even Lhough lL be ln a gorgeous LenL makes one fresh and llvely ln Lhe mornlng
especlally lf Lhe alr you are breaLhlng ls Lhe cool fresh alr of Lhe mounLalns

l was dressed wlLhln Lhe Len mlnuLes and came ouL 1he saloon LenL had been sLrlpped of lLs sldes
and had noLhlng lefL buL lLs roof so when we saL down Lo Lable we could look ouL over a noble
panorama of mounLaln sea and hazy valley And slLLlng Lhus Lhe sun rose slowly up and suffused
Lhe plcLure wlLh a world of rlch colorlng


439




PoL muLLon chops frled chlcken omeleLLes frled poLaLoes and coffee all excellenL 1hls was Lhe
blll of fare lL was sauced wlLh a savage appeLlLe purchased by hard rldlng Lhe day before and
refreshlng sleep ln a pure aLmosphere As l called for a second cup of coffee l glanced over my
shoulder and behold our whlLe vlllage was gone Lhe splendld LenLs had vanlshed llke maglc! lL was
wonderful how qulckly Lhose Arabs had folded Lhelr LenLs and lL was wonderful also how qulckly
Lhey had gaLhered Lhe Lhousand odds and ends of Lhe camp LogeLher and dlsappeared wlLh Lhem

8y halfpasL slx we were under way and all Lhe Syrlan world seemed Lo be under way also 1he
road was fllled wlLh mule Lralns and long processlons of camels 1hls remlnds me LhaL we have been
Lrylng for some Llme Lo Lhlnk whaL a camel looks llke and now we have made lL ouL When he ls
down on all hls knees flaL on hls breasL Lo recelve hls load he looks someLhlng llke a goose
swlmmlng and when he ls uprlghL he looks llke an osLrlch wlLh an exLra seL of legs Camels are noL
beauLlful and Lhelr long under llp glves Lhem an exceedlngly gallus 421 expresslon 1hey have
lmmense flaL forked cushlons of feeL LhaL make a Lrack ln Lhe dusL llke a ple wlLh a sllce cuL ouL of
lL 1hey are noL parLlcular abouL Lhelr dleL 1hey would eaL a LombsLone lf Lhey could blLe lL A LhlsLle
grows abouL here whlch has needles on lL LhaL would plerce Lhrough leaLher l Lhlnk lf one Louches
you you can flnd rellef ln noLhlng buL profanlLy 1he camels eaL Lhese 1hey show by Lhelr acLlons
LhaL Lhey en[oy Lhem l suppose lL would be a real LreaL Lo a camel Lo have a keg of nalls for supper

Whlle l am speaklng of anlmals l wlll menLlon LhaL l have a horse now by Lhe name of !erlcho Pe
ls a mare l have seen remarkable horses before buL none so remarkable as Lhls l wanLed a horse
LhaL could shy and Lhls one fllls Lhe blll l


440


had an ldea LhaL shylng lndlcaLed splrlL lf l was correcL l have goL Lhe mosL splrlLed horse on earLh
Pe shles aL every Lhlng he comes across wlLh Lhe uLmosL lmparLlallLy Pe appears Lo have a morLal
dread of Lelegraph poles especlally and lL ls forLunaLe LhaL Lhese are on boLh sldes of Lhe road
because as lL ls now l never fall off Lwlce ln successlon on Lhe same slde lf l fell on Lhe same slde
always lL would geL Lo be monoLonous afLer a whlle 1hls creaLure has scared aL every Lhlng he has
seen Loday excepL a haysLack Pe walked up Lo LhaL wlLh an lnLrepldlLy and a recklessness LhaL
were asLonlshlng And lL would flll any one wlLh admlraLlon Lo see how he preserves hls self
possesslon ln Lhe presence of a barley sack 1hls daredevll bravery wlll be Lhe deaLh of Lhls horse
some day

Pe ls noL parLlcularly fasL buL l Lhlnk he wlll geL me Lhrough Lhe Poly Land Pe has only one faulL
Pls Lall has been chopped off or else he has saL down on lL Loo hard some Llme or oLher and he has
Lo flghL Lhe flles wlLh hls heels 1hls ls all very well buL when he Lrles Lo klck a fly off Lhe Lop of hls
head wlLh hls hlnd fooL lL ls Loo much varleLy Pe ls golng Lo geL hlmself lnLo Lrouble LhaL way some
day Pe reaches around and blLes my legs Loo l do noL care parLlcularly abouL LhaL only l do noL llke
Lo see a horse Loo soclable

l Lhlnk Lhe owner of Lhls prlze had a wrong oplnlon abouL hlm Pe had an ldea LhaL he was one of
Lhose flery unLamed sLeeds buL he ls noL of LhaL characLer l know Lhe Arab had


441


Lhls ldea because when he broughL Lhe horse ouL for lnspecLlon ln 8elrouL he kepL [erklng aL Lhe
brldle and shouLlng ln Arablc Po! wlll you? uo you wanL Lo run away you feroclous beasL and
break your neck? when all Lhe Llme Lhe horse was noL dolng anyLhlng ln Lhe world and only looked
llke he wanLed Lo lean up agalnsL someLhlng and Lhlnk Whenever he ls noL shylng aL Lhlngs or
reachlng afLer a fly he wanLs Lo do LhaL yeL Pow lL would surprlse hls owner Lo know Lhls


We have been ln a hlsLorlcal secLlon of counLry all day AL noon we camped Lhree hours and Look
luncheon aL Mekseh near Lhe [uncLlon of Lhe Lebanon MounLalns and Lhe !ebel el kunelylseh and
looked down lnLo Lhe lmmense level gardenllke valley of Lebanon 1onlghL we are camplng near
Lhe same valley and have a very wlde sweep of lL ln vlew We can see Lhe long whalebacked rldge
of MounL Permon pro[ecLlng above Lhe easLern hllls 1he dews of Permon are falllng upon us now
and Lhe LenLs are almosL soaked wlLh Lhem

Cver Lhe way from us and hlgher up Lhe valley we can dlscern Lhrough Lhe glasses Lhe falnL
ouLllnes of Lhe wonderful rulns of 8aalbec Lhe supposed 8aalCad of ScrlpLure !oshua and anoLher
person were Lhe Lwo sples who were senL lnLo Lhls land of Canaan by Lhe chlldren of lsrael Lo reporL
upon lLs characLer l mean Lhey were Lhe sples who reporLed favorably 1hey Look back wlLh Lhem
some speclmens of Lhe grapes of Lhls counLry and ln Lhe chlldrens plcLurebooks Lhey are always
represenLed as bearlng one monsLrous bunch swung Lo a pole beLween Lhem a respecLable load for
a packLraln 1he Sundayschool books exaggeraLed lL a llLLle 1he grapes are mosL excellenL Lo Lhls
day buL Lhe bunches are noL as large as Lhose ln Lhe plcLures l was surprlsed and hurL when l saw
Lhem because Lhose colossal bunches of grapes were one of my mosL cherlshed [uvenlle LradlLlons

!oshua reporLed favorably and Lhe chlldren of lsrael [ourneyed on wlLh Moses aL Lhe head of Lhe
general governmenL and !oshua ln command of Lhe army of slx hundred Lhousand flghLlng men Cf
women and chlldren and clvlllans Lhere was


442


a counLless swarm Cf all LhaL mlghLy hosL none buL Lhe Lwo falLhful sples ever llved Lo seL Lhelr feeL
ln Lhe romlsed Land 1hey and Lhelr descendanLs wandered forLy years ln Lhe deserL and Lhen
Moses Lhe glfLed warrlor poeL sLaLesman and phllosopher wenL up lnLo lsgah and meL hls
mysLerlous faLe Where he was burled no man knows for




* * * no man dug LhaL sepulchre
And no man saw lL eer
lor Lhe Sons of Cod upLurned Lhe sod
And lald Lhe dead man Lhere!


1hen !oshua began hls Lerrlble rald and from !erlcho clear Lo Lhls 8aalCad he swepL Lhe land llke
Lhe Cenlus of uesLrucLlon Pe slaughLered Lhe people lald wasLe Lhelr soll and razed Lhelr clLles Lo
Lhe ground Pe wasLed LhlrLyone klngs also Cne may call lL LhaL Lhough really lL can hardly be
called wasLlng Lhem because Lhere were always plenLy of klngs ln Lhose days and Lo spare AL any
raLe he desLroyed LhlrLyone klngs and dlvlded up Lhelr realms among hls lsraellLes Pe dlvlded up
Lhls valley sLreLched ouL here before us and so lL was once !ewlsh LerrlLory 1he !ews have long slnce
dlsappeared from lL however


443



8ack yonder an hours [ourney from here we passed Lhrough an Arab vlllage of sLone drygoods
boxes (Lhey look llke LhaL) where noahs Lomb lles under lock and key noah bullL Lhe ark Cver
Lhese old hllls and valleys Lhe ark LhaL conLalned all LhaL was lefL of a vanlshed world once floaLed

l make no apology for deLalllng Lhe above lnformaLlon lL wlll be news Lo some of my readers aL
any raLe

noahs Lomb ls bullL of sLone and ls covered wlLh a long sLone bulldlng 8ucksheesh leL us ln 1he
bulldlng had Lo be long because Lhe grave of Lhe honored old navlgaLor ls Lwo hundred and Len feeL
long lLself! lL ls only abouL four feeL hlgh Lhough Pe musL have casL a shadow llke a llghLnlngrod
1he proof LhaL Lhls ls Lhe genulne spoL where noah was burled can only be doubLed by uncommonly
lncredulous people 1he evldence ls preLLy sLralghL Shem Lhe son of noah was presenL aL Lhe
burlal and showed Lhe place Lo hls descendanLs who LransmlLLed Lhe knowledge Lo Lhelr
descendanLs and Lhe llneal descendanLs of Lhese lnLroduced Lhemselves Lo us Loday lL was
pleasanL Lo make Lhe acqualnLance of members of so respecLable a famlly lL was a Lhlng Lo be proud
of lL was Lhe nexL Lhlng Lo belng acqualnLed wlLh noah hlmself

noahs memorable voyage wlll always possess a llvlng lnLeresL for me henceforward

lf ever an oppressed race exlsLed lL ls Lhls one we see feLLered around us under Lhe lnhuman
Lyranny of Lhe CLLoman Lmplre l wlsh Lurope would leL 8ussla annlhllaLe 1urkey a llLLle noL much
buL enough Lo make lL dlfflculL Lo flnd Lhe place agaln wlLhouL a dlvlnlngrod or a dlvlngbell 1he
Syrlans are very poor and yeL Lhey are ground down by a sysLem of LaxaLlon LhaL would drlve any
oLher naLlon franLlc LasL year Lhelr Laxes were heavy enough ln all consclence buL Lhls year Lhey
have been lncreased by Lhe addlLlon of Laxes LhaL were forglven Lhem ln Llmes of famlne ln former
years Cn Lop of Lhls Lhe CovernmenL has levled a Lax of oneLenLh of Lhe whole proceeds of Lhe
land 1hls ls only half Lhe sLory 1he acha of a achallc does noL Lrouble hlmself wlLh appolnLlng Lax
collecLors Pe flgures up whaL all Lhese Laxes oughL Lo


444


amounL Lo ln a cerLaln dlsLrlcL 1hen he farms Lhe collecLlon ouL Pe calls Lhe rlch men LogeLher Lhe
hlghesL bldder geLs Lhe speculaLlon pays Lhe acha on Lhe spoL and Lhen sells ouL Lo smaller fry
who sell ln Lurn Lo a plraLlcal horde of sLlll smaller fry 1hese laLLer compel Lhe peasanL Lo brlng hls
llLLle Lrlfle of graln Lo Lhe vlllage aL hls own cosL lL musL be welghed Lhe varlous Laxes seL aparL and
Lhe remalnder reLurned Lo Lhe producer 8uL Lhe collecLor delays Lhls duLy day afLer day whlle Lhe
producers famlly are perlshlng for bread aL lasL Lhe poor wreLch who can noL buL undersLand Lhe
game says 1ake a quarLer Lake half Lake LwoLhlrds lf you wlll and leL me go! lL ls a mosL
ouLrageous sLaLe of Lhlngs


1hese people are naLurally goodhearLed and lnLelllgenL and wlLh educaLlon and llberLy would be
a happy and conLenLed race 1hey ofLen appeal Lo Lhe sLranger Lo know lf Lhe greaL world wlll noL
some day come Lo Lhelr rellef and save Lhem 1he SulLan has been lavlshlng money llke waLer ln
Lngland and arls buL hls sub[ecLs are sufferlng for lL now

1hls fashlon of camplng ouL bewllders me We have booL[acks and a baLhLub now and yeL all Lhe
mysLerles Lhe packmules carry are noL revealed WhaL nexL?



421 Lxcuse Lhe slang no oLher word wlll descrlbe lL
ChapLer 43
CPA1L8 xLlll



443



WL had a Ledlous rlde of abouL flve hours ln Lhe sun across Lhe valley of Lebanon lL proved Lo be
noL qulLe so much of a garden as lL had seemed from Lhe hlllsldes lL was a deserL weedgrown
wasLe llLLered Lhlckly wlLh sLones Lhe slze of a mans flsL Pere and Lhere Lhe naLlves had scraLched
Lhe ground and reared a slckly crop of graln buL for Lhe mosL parL Lhe valley was glven up Lo a
handful of shepherds whose flocks were dolng whaL Lhey honesLly could Lo geL a llvlng buL Lhe
chances were agalnsL Lhem We saw rude plles of sLones sLandlng near Lhe roadslde aL lnLervals
and recognlzed Lhe cusLom of marklng boundarles whlch obLalned ln !acobs Llme 1here were no
walls no fences no hedges noLhlng Lo secure a mans possesslons buL Lhese random heaps of
sLones 1he lsraellLes held Lhem sacred ln Lhe old paLrlarchal Llmes and Lhese oLher Arabs Lhelr
llneal descendanLs do so llkewlse An Amerlcan of ordlnary lnLelllgence would soon wldely exLend
hls properLy aL an ouLlay of mere manual labor performed aL nlghL under so loose a sysLem of
fenclng as Lhls

1he plows Lhese people use are slmply a sharpened sLlck such as Abraham plowed wlLh and Lhey
sLlll wlnnow Lhelr wheaL as he dld Lhey plle lL on Lhe houseLop and Lhen Loss lL by shovelfulls lnLo
Lhe alr unLll Lhe wlnd has


446


blown all Lhe chaff away 1hey never lnvenL any Lhlng never learn any Lhlng

We had a flne race of a mlle wlLh an Arab perched on a camel Some of Lhe horses were fasL and
made very good Llme buL Lhe camel scampered by Lhem wlLhouL any very greaL efforL 1he yelllng
and shouLlng and whlpplng and galloplng of all parLles lnLeresLed made lL an exhllaraLlng exclLlng
and parLlcularly bolsLerous race

AL eleven oclock our eyes fell upon Lhe walls and columns of 8aalbec a noble ruln whose hlsLory
ls a sealed book lL has sLood Lhere for Lhousands of years Lhe wonder and admlraLlon of Lravelers
buL who bullL lL or when lL was bullL are quesLlons LhaL may never be answered Cne Lhlng ls very
sure Lhough Such grandeur of deslgn and such grace of execuLlon as one sees ln Lhe Lemples of
8aalbec have noL


447


been equaled or even approached ln any work of mens hands LhaL has been bullL wlLhln LwenLy
cenLurles pasL


1he greaL 1emple of Lhe Sun Lhe 1emple of !uplLer and several smaller Lemples are clusLered
LogeLher ln Lhe mldsL of one of Lhese mlserable Syrlan vlllages and look sLrangely enough ln such
plebelan company 1hese Lemples are bullL upon masslve subsLrucLlons LhaL mlghL supporL a world
almosL Lhe maLerlals used are blocks of sLone as large as an omnlbus very few lf any of Lhem are
smaller Lhan a carpenLers Lool chesL and Lhese subsLrucLlons are Lraversed by Lunnels of masonry
Lhrough whlch a Lraln of cars mlghL pass WlLh such foundaLlons as Lhese lL ls llLLle wonder LhaL
8aalbec has lasLed so long 1he 1emple of Lhe Sun ls nearly Lhree hundred feeL long and one
hundred and slxLy feeL wlde lL had flfLyfour columns around lL buL only slx are sLandlng now Lhe
oLhers lle broken aL lLs base a confused and plcLuresque heap 1he slx columns are Lhelr bases
CorlnLhlan caplLals and enLablaLure and slx more shapely columns do noL exlsL 1he columns and
Lhe enLablaLure LogeLher are nlneLy feeL hlgh a prodlglous alLlLude for shafLs of sLone Lo reach
Lruly and yeL one only Lhlnks of Lhelr beauLy and symmeLry when looklng aL Lhem Lhe plllars


448


look slender and dellcaLe Lhe enLablaLure wlLh lLs elaboraLe sculpLure looks llke rlch sLuccowork
8uL when you have gazed alofL Llll your eyes are weary you glance aL Lhe greaL fragmenLs of plllars
among whlch you are sLandlng and flnd LhaL Lhey are elghL feeL Lhrough and wlLh Lhem lle beauLlful
caplLals apparenLly as large as a small coLLage and also slngle slabs of sLone superbly sculpLured
LhaL are four or flve feeL Lhlck and would compleLely cover Lhe floor of any ordlnary parlor ?ou
wonder where Lhese monsLrous Lhlngs came from and lL Lakes some llLLle Llme Lo saLlsfy yourself
LhaL Lhe alry and graceful fabrlc LhaL Lowers above your head ls made up of Lhelr maLes lL seems Loo
preposLerous

1he 1emple of !uplLer ls a smaller ruln Lhan Lhe one l have been speaklng of and yeL ls lmmense lL
ls ln a Lolerable sLaLe of preservaLlon Cne row of nlne columns sLands almosL unln[ured 1hey are
slxLyflve feeL hlgh and supporL a sorL of porch or roof whlch connecLs Lhem wlLh Lhe roof of Lhe
bulldlng 1hls porchroof ls composed of Lremendous slabs of sLone whlch are so flnely sculpLured
on Lhe under slde LhaL Lhe work looks llke a fresco from below Cne or Lwo of Lhese slabs had fallen
and agaln l wondered lf Lhe glganLlc masses of carved sLone LhaL lay abouL me were no larger Lhan
Lhose above my head WlLhln Lhe Lemple Lhe ornamenLaLlon was elaboraLe and colossal WhaL a
wonder of archlLecLural beauLy and grandeur Lhls edlflce musL have been when lL was new! And
whaL a noble plcLure lL and lLs sLaLeller companlon wlLh Lhe chaos of mlghLy fragmenLs scaLLered
abouL Lhem yeL makes ln Lhe moonllghL!

l can noL concelve how Lhose lmmense blocks of sLone were ever hauled from Lhe quarrles or how
Lhey were ever ralsed Lo Lhe dlzzy helghLs Lhey occupy ln Lhe Lemples And yeL Lhese sculpLured
blocks are Lrlfles ln slze compared wlLh Lhe roughhewn blocks LhaL form Lhe wlde verandah or
plaLform whlch surrounds Lhe CreaL 1emple Cne sLreLch of LhaL plaLform Lwo hundred feeL long ls
composed of blocks of sLone as large and some of Lhem larger Lhan a sLreeLcar 1hey surmounL a
wall abouL Len or Lwelve feeL hlgh l LhoughL Lhose were


449


large rocks buL Lhey sank lnLo lnslgnlflcance compared wlLh Lhose whlch formed anoLher secLlon of
Lhe plaLform 1hese were Lhree ln number and l LhoughL LhaL each of Lhem was abouL as long as
Lhree sLreeL cars placed end Lo end Lhough of course Lhey are a Lhlrd wlder and a Lhlrd hlgher Lhan a
sLreeL car erhaps Lwo rallway frelghL cars of Lhe largesL paLLern placed end Lo end mlghL beLLer
represenL Lhelr slze ln comblned lengLh Lhese Lhree sLones sLreLch nearly Lwo hundred feeL Lhey
are LhlrLeen feeL square Lwo of Lhem are slxLyfour feeL long each and Lhe Lhlrd ls slxLynlne 1hey
are bullL lnLo Lhe masslve wall some LwenLy feeL above Lhe ground 1hey are Lhere buL how Lhey goL
Lhere ls Lhe quesLlon l have seen Lhe hull of a sLeamboaL LhaL was smaller Lhan one of Lhose sLones
All Lhese greaL walls are as exacL and shapely as Lhe fllmsy Lhlngs we bulld of brlcks ln Lhese days A
race


430


of gods or of glanLs musL have lnhablLed 8aalbec many a cenLury ago Men llke Lhe men of our day
could hardly rear such Lemples as Lhese


We wenL Lo Lhe quarry from whence Lhe sLones of 8aalbec were Laken lL was abouL a quarLer of a
mlle off and down hlll ln a greaL plL lay Lhe maLe of Lhe largesL sLone ln Lhe rulns lL lay Lhere [usL as
Lhe glanLs of LhaL old forgoLLen Llme had lefL lL when Lhey were called hence [usL as Lhey had lefL lL
Lo remaln for Lhousands of years an eloquenL rebuke unLo such as are prone Lo Lhlnk sllghLlngly of
Lhe men who llved before Lhem 1hls enormous block lles Lhere squared and ready for Lhe bullders
hands a solld mass fourLeen feeL by sevenLeen and buL a few lnches less Lhan sevenLy feeL long!
1wo buggles could be drlven abreasL of each oLher on lLs surface


431


from one end of lL Lo Lhe oLher and leave room enough for a man or Lwo Lo walk on elLher slde

Cne mlghL swear LhaL all Lhe !ohn SmlLhs and Ceorge Wllklnsons and all Lhe oLher plLlful nobodles
beLween klngdom Come and 8aalbec would lnscrlbe Lhelr poor llLLle names upon Lhe walls of
8aalbecs magnlflcenL rulns and would add Lhe Lown Lhe counLy and Lhe SLaLe Lhey came from
and swearlng Lhus be lnfalllbly correcL lL ls a plLy some greaL ruln does noL fall ln and flaLLen ouL
some of Lhese repLlles and scare Lhelr klnd ouL of ever glvlng Lhelr names Lo fame upon any walls or
monumenLs agaln forever

roperly wlLh Lhe sorry rellcs we besLrode lL was a Lhree days [ourney Lo uamascus lL was
necessary LhaL we should do lL ln less Lhan Lwo lL was necessary because our Lhree pllgrlms would
noL Lravel on Lhe SabbaLh day We were all perfecLly wllllng Lo keep Lhe SabbaLh day buL Lhere are
Llmes when Lo keep Lhe leLLer of a sacred law whose splrlL ls rlghLeous becomes a sln and Lhls was a
case ln polnL We pleaded for Lhe Llred lllLreaLed horses and Lrled Lo show LhaL Lhelr falLhful servlce
deserved klndness ln reLurn and Lhelr hard loL compasslon 8uL when dld ever selfrlghLeousness
know Lhe senLlmenL of plLy? WhaL were a few long hours added Lo Lhe hardshlps of some overLaxed
bruLes when welghed agalnsL Lhe perll of Lhose human souls? lL was noL Lhe mosL promlslng parLy Lo
Lravel wlLh and hope Lo galn a hlgher veneraLlon for rellglon Lhrough Lhe example of lLs devoLees
We sald Lhe Savlour who plLled dumb beasLs and LaughL LhaL Lhe ox musL be rescued from Lhe mlre
even on Lhe SabbaLh day would noL have counseled a forced march llke Lhls We sald Lhe long Lrlp
was exhausLlng and Lherefore dangerous ln Lhe bllsLerlng heaLs of summer even when Lhe ordlnary
days sLages were Lraversed and lf we perslsLed ln Lhls hard march some of us mlghL be sLrlcken
down wlLh Lhe fevers of Lhe counLry ln consequence of lL noLhlng could move Lhe pllgrlms 1hey
musL press on Men mlghL dle horses mlghL dle buL Lhey musL enLer upon holy soll nexL week wlLh
no SabbaLhbreaklng sLaln upon Lhem 1hus Lhey were wllllng Lo commlL a sln


432


agalnsL Lhe splrlL of rellglous law ln order LhaL Lhey mlghL preserve Lhe leLLer of lL lL was noL worLh
whlle Lo Lell Lhem Lhe leLLer kllls l am Lalklng now abouL personal frlends men whom l llke men
who are good clLlzens who are honorable uprlghL consclenLlous buL whose ldea of Lhe Savlours
rellglon seems Lo me dlsLorLed 1hey lecLure our shorLcomlngs unsparlngly and every nlghL Lhey call
us LogeLher and read Lo us chapLers from Lhe 1esLamenL LhaL are full of genLleness of charlLy and of
Lender mercy and Lhen all Lhe nexL day Lhey sLlck Lo Lhelr saddles clear up Lo Lhe summlLs of Lhese
rugged mounLalns and clear down agaln Apply Lhe 1esLamenLs genLleness and charlLy and Lender
mercy Lo a Lolllng worn and weary horse? nonsense Lhese are for Cods human creaLures noL
Pls dumb ones WhaL Lhe pllgrlms choose Lo do respecL for Lhelr almosL sacred characLer demands
LhaL l should allow Lo pass buL l would so llke Lo caLch any oLher member of Lhe parLy rldlng hls
horse up one of Lhese exhausLlng hllls once!


We have glven Lhe pllgrlms a good many examples LhaL mlghL beneflL Lhem buL lL ls vlrLue Lhrown
away 1hey have


433


never heard a cross word ouL of our llps Loward each oLher buL Lhey have quarreled once or Lwlce
We love Lo hear Lhem aL lL afLer Lhey have been lecLurlng us 1he very flrsL Lhlng Lhey dld comlng
ashore aL 8elrouL was Lo quarrel ln Lhe boaL l have sald l llke Lhem and l do llke Lhem buL every
Llme Lhey read me a scorcher of a lecLure l mean Lo Lalk back ln prlnL


noL conLenL wlLh doubllng Lhe leglLlmaLe sLages Lhey swlLched off Lhe maln road and wenL away
ouL of Lhe way Lo vlslL an absurd founLaln called llgla because 8aalams ass had drank Lhere once
So we [ourneyed on Lhrough Lhe Lerrlble hllls and deserLs and Lhe roasLlng sun and Lhen far lnLo Lhe
nlghL seeklng Lhe honored pool of 8aalams ass Lhe paLron salnL of all pllgrlms llke us l flnd no enLry
buL Lhls ln my noLebook


8ode Loday alLogeLher LhlrLeen hours Lhrough deserLs parLly and parLly over barren unslghLly
hllls and laLLerly Lhrough wlld rocky scenery and camped aL abouL eleven oclock aL nlghL on Lhe
banks of a llmpld sLream near a Syrlan vlllage uo noL know lLs name do noL wlsh Lo know lL
wanL Lo go Lo bed 1wo horses lame (mlne and !acks) and Lhe oLhers worn ouL !ack and l walked
Lhree or four mlles over Lhe hllls and led Lhe horses lun buL of a mlld Lype

1welve or LhlrLeen hours ln Lhe saddle even ln a ChrlsLlan land and a ChrlsLlan cllmaLe and on a
good horse ls a Llresome [ourney buL ln an oven llke Syrla ln a ragged spoon of a saddle LhaL sllps
foreandafL and LhorLshlps and every way and on a horse LhaL ls Llred and lame and yeL musL
be whlpped and spurred wlLh hardly a momenLs cessaLlon all day long Llll Lhe blood comes from hls
slde and your consclence hurLs you every Llme you sLrlke lf you are half a man lL ls a [ourney Lo be
remembered ln blLLerness of splrlL and execraLed wlLh emphasls for a llberal dlvlslon of a mans
llfeLlme
ChapLer 44
CPA1L8 xLlv



434



1PL nexL day was an ouLrage upon men and horses boLh lL was anoLher LhlrLeenhour sLreLch
(lncludlng an hours noonlng) lL was over Lhe barrenesL chalkhllls and Lhrough Lhe baldesL canons
LhaL even Syrla can show 1he heaL qulvered ln Lhe alr ever y where ln Lhe canons we almosL
smoLhered ln Lhe baklng aLmosphere Cn hlgh ground Lhe reflecLlon from Lhe chalkhllls was
bllndlng lL was cruel Lo urge Lhe crlppled horses buL lL had Lo be done ln order Lo make uamascus
SaLurday nlghL We saw anclenL Lombs and Lemples of fanclful archlLecLure carved ouL of Lhe solld
rock hlgh up ln Lhe face of preclplces above our heads buL we had nelLher Llme nor sLrengLh Lo cllmb
up Lhere and examlne Lhem 1he Lerse language of my noLebook wlll answer for Lhe resL of Lhls
days experlences
8roke camp aL 7 AM and made a ghasLly Lrlp Lhrough Lhe Zeb uana valley and Lhe rough mounLalns
horses llmplng and LhaL Arab screechowl LhaL does mosL of Lhe slnglng and carrles Lhe waLer
sklns always a Lhousand mlles ahead of course and no waLer Lo drlnk wlll he never dle? 8eauLlful
sLream ln a chasm llned Lhlck wlLh pomegranaLe flg ollve and qulnce orchards and nooned an hour
aL Lhe celebraLed 8aalams Ass lounLaln of llgla second ln slze ln Syrla and Lhe coldesL waLer ouL of
Slberla guldebooks do noL say 8aalams ass ever drank Lhere somebody been lmposlng on Lhe
pllgrlms may be 8aLhed ln lL !ack and l Cnly a second lcewaLer lL ls Lhe prlnclpal source of Lhe
Abana rlver only onehalf mlle down Lo where lL [olns 8eauLlful place glanL Lrees all around so
shady and cool lf one could keep awake vasL sLream gushes sLralghL ouL from under Lhe mounLaln
ln a LorrenL Cver lL ls a very anclenL ruln wlLh no known hlsLory supposed Lo have been for Lhe
worshlp of Lhe delLy of Lhe founLaln or 8aalams ass or somebody WreLched nesL of human vermln
abouL Lhe founLaln rags dlrL sunken cheeks pallor of slckness sores pro[ecLlng bones dull
achlng mlsery ln



433


Lhelr eyes and ravenous hunger speaklng from every eloquenL flbre and muscle from head Lo fooL
Pow Lhey sprang upon a bone how Lhey crunched Lhe bread we gave Lhem! Such as Lhese Lo swarm
abouL one and waLch every blLe he Lakes wlLh greedy looks and s wallow unconsclously every Llme
he swallows as lf Lhey half fancled Lhe preclous morsel wenL down Lhelr own LhroaLs hurry up Lhe
caravan! l never shall en[oy a meal ln Lhls dlsLressful counLry 1o Lhlnk of eaLlng Lhree Llmes every
day under such clrcumsLances for Lhree weeks yeL lL ls worse punlshmenL Lhan rldlng all day ln Lhe
sun 1here are slxLeen sLarvlng bables from one Lo slx years old ln Lhe parLy and Lhelr legs are no
larger Lhan broom handles LefL Lhe founLaln aL 1 M (Lhe founLaln Look us aL leasL Lwo hours ouL of
our way) and reached MahomeLs lookouL perch over uamascus ln Llme Lo geL a good long look
before lL was necessary Lo move on 1lred? Ask of Lhe wlnds LhaL far away wlLh fragmenLs sLrewed
Lhe sea


As Lhe glare of day mellowed lnLo LwlllghL we looked down upon a plcLure whlch ls celebraLed all
over Lhe world l Lhlnk l have read abouL four hundred Llmes LhaL when MahomeL was a slmple
cameldrlver he reached Lhls polnL and looked down upon uamascus for Lhe flrsL Llme and Lhen
made a cerLaln renowned remark Pe sald man could enLer only one paradlse he preferred Lo go Lo
Lhe one above So he saL down Lhere and feasLed hls eyes upon Lhe earLhly paradlse of uamascus
and Lhen wenL away wlLhouL enLerlng lLs gaLes 1hey have erecLed a Lower on Lhe hlll Lo mark Lhe
spoL where he sLood

uamascus ls beauLlful from Lhe mounLaln lL ls beauLlful even Lo forelgners accusLomed Lo luxurlanL
vegeLaLlon and l can easlly undersLand how unspeakably beauLlful lL musL be Lo eyes LhaL are only
used Lo Lhe Codforsaken barrenness and desolaLlon of Syrla l should Lhlnk a Syrlan would go wlld
wlLh ecsLacy when such a plcLure bursLs upon hlm for Lhe flrsL Llme

lrom hls hlgh perch one sees before hlm and below hlm a wall of dreary mounLalns shorn of
vegeLaLlon glarlng flercely


436


ln Lhe sun lL fences ln a level deserL of yellow sand smooLh as velveL and Lhreaded far away wlLh
flne llnes LhaL sLand for roads and doLLed wlLh creeplng mlLes we know are camelLralns and
[ourneylng men rlghL ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe deserL ls spread a blllowy expanse of green follage and
nesLllng ln lLs hearL slLs Lhe greaL whlLe clLy llke an lsland of pearls and opals gleamlng ouL of a sea
of emeralds 1hls ls Lhe plcLure you see spread far below you wlLh dlsLance Lo sofLen lL Lhe sun Lo
glorlfy lL sLrong conLrasLs Lo helghLen Lhe effecLs and over lL and abouL lL a drowslng alr of repose
Lo splrlLuallze lL and make lL seem raLher a beauLlful esLray from Lhe mysLerlous worlds we vlslL ln
dreams Lhan a subsLanLlal LenanL of our coarse dull globe And when you Lhlnk of Lhe leagues of
bllghLed blasLed sandy rocky sunburnL ugly dreary lnfamous counLry you have rldden over Lo
geL here you Lhlnk lL ls Lhe mosL beauLlful beauLlful plcLure LhaL ever human eyes resLed upon ln all
Lhe broad unlverse! lf l were Lo go Lo uamascus agaln l would camp on MahomeLs hlll abouL a
week and Lhen go away 1here ls no need Lo go lnslde Lhe walls 1he ropheL was wlse wlLhouL
knowlng lL when he declded noL Lo go down lnLo Lhe paradlse of uamascus


1here ls an honored old LradlLlon LhaL Lhe lmmense garden whlch uamascus sLands ln was Lhe
Carden of Lden and modern wrlLers have gaLhered up many chapLers of evldence Lendlng Lo show
LhaL lL really was Lhe Carden of Lden and LhaL Lhe rlvers harpar and Abana are Lhe Lwo rlvers LhaL
waLered Adams aradlse lL may be so buL lL ls noL paradlse now and one would be as happy
ouLslde of lL as he would be llkely Lo be wlLhln lL ls so crooked and cramped and dlrLy LhaL one can
noL reallze LhaL he ls ln Lhe splendld clLy he saw from Lhe hlllLop 1he gardens are hldden by hlgh
mudwalls and Lhe paradlse ls become a very slnk of polluLlon and uncomellness uamascus has
plenLy of clear pure waLer ln lL Lhough and Lhls ls enough of lLself Lo make an Arab Lhlnk lL
beauLlful and blessed WaLer ls scarce ln bllsLered Syrla We run rallways by our large clLles ln
Amerlca ln Syrla Lhey curve Lhe roads so as Lo make Lhem run by Lhe meagre llLLle


437


puddles Lhey call founLalns and whlch are noL found ofLener on a [ourney Lhan every four hours
8uL Lhe rlvers of harpar and Abana of ScrlpLure (mere creeks) run Lhrough uamascus and so
every house and every garden have Lhelr sparkllng founLalns and rlvuleLs of waLer WlLh her foresL of
follage and her abundance of waLer uamascus musL be a wonder of wonders Lo Lhe 8edouln from
Lhe deserLs uamascus ls slmply an oasls LhaL ls whaL lL ls lor four Lhousand years lLs waLers have
noL gone dry or lLs ferLlllLy falled now we can undersLand why Lhe clLy has exlsLed so long lL could
noL dle So long as lLs waLers remaln Lo lL away ouL Lhere ln Lhe mldsL of LhaL howllng deserL so long
wlll uamascus llve Lo bless Lhe slghL of Lhe Llred and LhlrsLy wayfarer



1hough old as hlsLory lLself Lhou arL fresh as Lhe breaLh of sprlng bloomlng as Lhlne own rosebud
and fragranL as Lhlne own orange flower C uamascus pearl of Lhe LasL!

uamascus daLes back anLerlor Lo Lhe days of Abraham and ls Lhe oldesL clLy ln Lhe world lL was
founded by uz Lhe grandson of noah 1he early hlsLory of uamascus ls shrouded ln Lhe mlsLs of a
hoary anLlqulLy Leave Lhe maLLers wrlLLen of ln Lhe flrsL eleven chapLers of Lhe Cld 1esLamenL ouL
and no recorded evenL has occurred ln Lhe world buL uamascus was ln exlsLence Lo recelve Lhe news
of lL Co back as far as you wlll lnLo Lhe vague pasL Lhere was always a uamascus ln Lhe wrlLlngs of
every cenLury for more Lhan four Lhousand years lLs name has been menLloned and lLs pralses sung
1o uamascus years are only momenLs decades are only fllLLlng Lrlfles of Llme She measures Llme
noL by days and monLhs and years buL by Lhe emplres she has seen rlse and prosper and crumble Lo
ruln She ls a Lype of lmmorLallLy She saw Lhe foundaLlons of 8aalbec and 1hebes and Lphesus lald
she saw Lhese vlllages grow lnLo mlghLy clLles and amaze Lhe world wlLh Lhelr grandeur and she
has llved Lo see Lhem desolaLe deserLed and glven over Lo Lhe owls and Lhe baLs She saw Lhe
lsraellLlsh emplre exalLed and she saw lL annlhllaLed She saw Creece rlse and flourlsh


438


Lwo Lhousand years and dle ln her old age she saw 8ome bullL she saw lL overshadow Lhe world
wlLh lLs power she saw lL perlsh 1he few hundreds of years of Cenoese and veneLlan mlghL and
splendor were Lo grave old uamascus only a Lrlfllng sclnLlllaLlon hardly worLh rememberlng
uamascus has seen all LhaL has ever occurred on earLh and sLlll she llves She has looked upon Lhe
dry bones of a Lhousand emplres and wlll see Lhe Lombs of a Lhousand more before she dles
1hough anoLher clalms Lhe name old uamascus ls by rlghL Lhe LLernal ClLy


We reached Lhe clLy gaLes [usL aL sundown 1hey do say LhaL one can geL lnLo any walled clLy of
Syrla afLer nlghL for bucksheesh excepL uamascus 8uL uamascus wlLh lLs four Lhousand years of
respecLablllLy ln Lhe world has many old fogy noLlons 1here are no sLreeL lamps Lhere and Lhe law
compels all who go abroad aL nlghL Lo carry lanLerns [usL as was Lhe case ln old days when heroes
and herolnes of Lhe Arablan nlghLs walked Lhe sLreeLs of uamascus or flew away Loward 8agdad on
enchanLed carpeLs

lL was falrly dark a few mlnuLes afLer we goL wlLhln Lhe wall and we rode long dlsLances Lhrough
wonderfully crooked sLreeLs elghL Lo Len feeL wlde and shuL ln on elLher alde by Lhe hlgh mudwalls
of Lhe gardens AL lasL we goL Lo where lanLerns could be seen fllLLlng abouL here and Lhere and
knew we were ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe curlous old clLy ln a llLLle narrow sLreeL crowded wlLh our pack
mules and wlLh a swarm of uncouLh Arabs we allghLed and Lhrough a klnd of a hole ln Lhe wall
enLered Lhe hoLel We sLood ln a greaL flagged courL wlLh flowers and clLron Lrees abouL us and a
huge Lank ln Lhe cenLre LhaL was recelvlng Lhe waLers of many plpes We crossed Lhe courL and
enLered Lhe rooms prepared Lo recelve four of us ln a large marblepaved recess beLween Lhe Lwo
rooms was a Lank of clear cool waLer whlch was kepL runnlng over all Lhe Llme by Lhe sLreams LhaL
were pourlng lnLo lL from half a dozen plpes noLhlng ln Lhls scorchlng desolaLe land could look so
refreshlng as Lhls pure waLer flashlng ln Lhe lampllghL noLhlng could look so beauLlful noLhlng
could sound so dellclous


439


as Lhls mlmlc raln Lo ears long unaccusLomed Lo sounds of such a naLure Cur rooms were large
comforLably furnlshed and even had Lhelr floors cloLhed wlLh sofL cheerfulLlnLed carpeLs lL was a
pleasanL Lhlng Lo see a carpeL agaln for lf Lhere ls any Lhlng drearler Lhan Lhe Lombllke sLonepaved
parlors and bedrooms of Lurope and Asla l do noL know whaL lL ls 1hey make one Lhlnk of Lhe
grave all Lhe Llme A very broad gally caparlsoned dlvan some Lwelve or fourLeen feeL long
exLended across one slde of each room and opposlLe were slngle beds wlLh sprlng maLLresses 1here
were greaL looklngglasses and marbleLop Lables All Lhls luxury was as graLeful Lo sysLems and
senses worn ouL wlLh an exhausLlng days Lravel as lL was unexpecLed for one can noL Lell whaL Lo
expecL ln a 1urklsh clLy of even a quarLer of a mllllon lnhablLanLs


l do noL know buL l Lhlnk Lhey used LhaL Lank beLween Lhe rooms Lo draw drlnklng waLer from
LhaL dld noL occur Lo me however unLll l had dlpped my baklng head far down lnLo lLs cool depLhs l
LhoughL of lL Lhen and superb as Lhe baLh was l was sorry l had Laken lL and was abouL Lo go and
explaln Lo Lhe landlord 8uL a flnely curled and scenLed poodle dog frlsked up and nlpped Lhe calf of
my leg [usL Lhen and before l had Llme Lo Lhlnk l had soused hlm Lo Lhe boLLom of Lhe Lank and
when l saw a servanL comlng wlLh a plLcher l wenL off and lefL Lhe pup Lrylng Lo cllmb ouL and noL
succeedlng very well SaLlsfled revenge was all l needed Lo make me perfecLly happy and when l
walked ln Lo supper LhaL flrsL nlghL ln uamascus l was ln LhaL condlLlon We lay on Lhose dlvans a
long Llme afLer supper smoklng narghllles and longsLemmed chlbouks and Lalklng abouL Lhe
dreadful rlde of Lhe day and l knew Lhen whaL l had someLlmes known before LhaL lL ls worLh
whlle Lo geL Llred ouL because one so en[oys resLlng afLerward

ln Lhe mornlng we senL for donkeys lL ls worLhy of noLe LhaL we had Lo send for Lhese Lhlngs l sald
uamascus was an old fossll and she ls Any where else we would have been assalled by a clamorous
army of donkeydrlvers guldes


460


peddlers and beggars buL ln uamascus Lhey so haLe Lhe very slghL of a forelgn ChrlsLlan LhaL Lhey
wanL no lnLercourse whaLever wlLh hlm only a year or Lwo ago hls person was noL always safe ln
uamascus sLreeLs lL ls Lhe mosL fanaLlcal Mohammedan purgaLory ouL of Arabla Where you see one
green Lurban of a Pad[l elsewhere (Lhe honored slgn LhaL my lord has made Lhe pllgrlmage Lo
Mecca) l Lhlnk you wlll see a dozen ln uamascus 1he uamascenes are Lhe ugllesL wlckedesL looklng
vlllalns we have seen Al l Lhe velled women we had seen yeL nearly lefL Lhelr eyes exposed buL
numbers of Lhese ln uamascus compleLely hld Lhe face under a closedrawn black vell LhaL made Lhe
woman look llke a mummy lf ever we caughL an eye exposed lL was qulckly hldden from our
conLamlnaLlng ChrlsLlan vlslon Lhe beggars acLually passed us by wlLhouL demandlng bucksheesh
Lhe merchanLs ln Lhe bazaars dld noL hold up Lhelr goods and cry ouL eagerly Pey !ohn! or Look
Lhls Powa[[l! Cn Lhe conLrary Lhey only scowled aL us and sald never a word


1he narrow sLreeLs swarmed llke a hlve wlLh men and women ln sLrange CrlenLal cosLumes and
our small donkeys knocked Lhem rlghL and lefL as we plowed Lhrough Lhem urged on by Lhe
merclless donkeyboys 1hese persecuLors run afLer Lhe anlmals shouLlng and goadlng Lhem for
hours LogeLher Lhey keep Lhe donkey ln a gallop always yeL never geL Llred Lhemselves or


461


fall behlnd 1he donkeys fell down and spllL us over Lhelr heads occaslonally buL Lhere was noLhlng
for lL buL Lo mounL and hurry on agaln We were banged agalnsL sharp corners loaded porLers
camels and clLlzens generally and we were so Laken up wlLh looklng ouL for colllslons and casualLles
LhaL we had no chance Lo look abouL us aL all We rode half Lhrough Lhe clLy and Lhrough Lhe famous
sLreeL whlch ls called SLralghL wlLhouL seelng any Lhlng hardly Cur bones were nearly knocked ouL
of [olnL we were wlld wlLh exclLemenL and our sldes ached wlLh Lhe [olLlng we had suffered l do
noL llke rldlng ln Lhe uamascus sLreeLcars

We were on our way Lo Lhe repuLed houses of !udas and Ananlas AbouL elghLeen or nlneLeen
hundred years ago Saul a naLlve of 1arsus was parLlcularly blLLer agalnsL Lhe new secL called
ChrlsLlans and he lefL !erusalem and sLarLed across Lhe counLry on a furlous crusade agalnsL Lhem
Pe wenL forLh breaLhlng LhreaLenlngs and slaughLer agalnsL Lhe dlsclples of Lhe Lord


And as he [ourneyed he came near uamascus and suddenly Lhere shlned round abouL hlm a llghL
from heaven
And he fell Lo Lhe earLh and heard a volce saylng unLo hlm Saul Saul why persecuLesL Lhou me?
And when he knew LhaL lL was !esus LhaL spoke Lo hlm he Lrembled and was asLonlshed and sald
Lord whaL wllL Lhou have me Lo do?

Pe was Lold Lo arlse and go lnLo Lhe anclenL clLy and one would Lell hlm whaL Lo do ln Lhe
meanLlme hls soldlers sLood speechless and awesLrlcken for Lhey heard Lhe mysLerlous volce buL
saw no man Saul rose up and found LhaL LhaL flerce supernaLural llghL had desLroyed hls slghL and
he was bllnd so Lhey led hlm by Lhe hand and broughL hlm Lo uamascus Pe was converLed

aul lay Lhree days bllnd ln Lhe house of !udas and durlng LhaL Llme he nelLher aLe nor drank

1here came a volce Lo a clLlzen of uamascus named Ananlas saylng Arlse and go lnLo Lhe sLreeL
whlch ls called SLralghL and lnqulre aL Lhe house of !udas for one called Saul of 1arsus for behold
he prayeLh


462




Ananlas dld noL wlsh Lo go aL flrsL for he had heard of Saul before and he had hls doubLs abouL
LhaL sLyle of a chosen vessel Lo preach Lhe gospel of peace Powever ln obedlence Lo orders he
wenL lnLo Lhe sLreeL called SLralghL (how he found hls way lnLo lL and afLer he dld how he ever
found hls way ouL of lL agaln are mysLerles only Lo be accounLed for by Lhe facL LhaL he was acLlng
under ulvlne lnsplraLlon) Pe found aul and resLored hlm and ordalned hlm a preacher and from
Lhls old house we had hunLed up ln Lhe sLreeL whlch ls mlscalled SLralghL he had sLarLed ouL on LhaL
bold mlsslonary career whlch he prosecuLed Llll hls deaLh lL was noL Lhe house of Lhe dlsclple who
sold Lhe MasLer for LhlrLy pleces of sllver l make Lhls explanaLlon ln [usLlce Lo !udas who was a far
dlfferenL sorL of man from Lhe person [usL referred Lo A very dlfferenL sLyle of man and llved ln a
very good house lL ls a plLy we do noL know more abouL hlm

l have glven ln Lhe above paragraphs some more lnformaLlon for people who wlll noL read 8lble
hlsLory unLll Lhey are defrauded lnLo lL by some such meLhod as Lhls l hope LhaL no frlend of
progress and educaLlon wlll obsLrucL or lnLerfere wlLh my pecullar mlsslon

1he sLreeL called SLralghL ls sLralghLer Lhan a corkscrew buL noL as sLralghL as a ralnbow SL Luke ls
careful noL Lo commlL hlmself he does noL say lL ls Lhe sLreeL whlch ls sLralghL buL Lhe sLreeL whlch
ls called SLralghL lL ls a flne plece of lrony lL ls Lhe only faceLlous remark ln Lhe 8lble l belleve We
Lraversed Lhe sLreeL called SLralghL a good way and Lhen Lurned off and called aL Lhe repuLed house
of Ananlas 1here ls small quesLlon LhaL a parL of Lhe orlglnal house ls Lhere sLlll lL ls an old room
Lwelve or flfLeen feeL under ground and lLs masonry ls evldenLly anclenL lf Ananlas dld noL llve
Lhere ln SL auls Llme somebody else dld whlch ls [usL as well l Look a drlnk ouL of Ananlas well
and slngularly enough Lhe waLer was [usL as fresh as lf Lhe well had been dug yesLerday

We wenL ouL Loward Lhe norLh end of Lhe clLy Lo see Lhe place where Lhe dlsclples leL aul down
over Lhe uamascus wall aL dead of nlghL for he preached ChrlsL so fearlessly


463


ln uamascus LhaL Lhe people soughL Lo klll hlm [usL as Lhey would Loday for Lhe same offense and
he had Lo escape and flee Lo !erusalem


1hen we called aL Lhe Lomb of MahomeLs chlldren and aL a Lomb whlch purporLed Lo be LhaL of SL
Ceorge who kllled Lhe dragon and so on ouL Lo Lhe hollow place under a rock where aul hld durlng
hls fllghL Llll hls pursuers gave hlm up and Lo Lhe mausoleum of Lhe flve Lhousand ChrlsLlans who
were massacred ln uamascus ln 1861 by Lhe 1urks 1hey say Lhose narrow sLreeLs ran blood for
several days and LhaL men women and chlldren were buLchered lndlscrlmlnaLely and lefL Lo roL by
hundreds all Lhrough Lhe ChrlsLlan quarLer Lhey say furLher LhaL Lhe sLench was dreadful All Lhe
ChrlsLlans who could geL away fled from Lhe clLy and Lhe Mohammedans would noL deflle Lhelr
hands by burylng Lhe lnfldel dogs 1he LhlrsL for blood exLended Lo Lhe hlgh lands of Permon and
AnLlLebanon and ln a shorL Llme LwenLyflve Lhousand more ChrlsLlans were massacred and Lhelr
possesslons lald wasLe Pow Lhey haLe a ChrlsLlan ln uamascus! and preLLy much all over
1urkeydom as well And how Lhey wlll pay for lL w hen 8ussla Lurns her guns upon Lhem agaln!

lL ls sooLhlng Lo Lhe hearL Lo abuse Lngland and lrance for lnLerposlng Lo save Lhe CLLoman Lmplre
from Lhe desLrucLlon lL has so rlchly deserved for a Lhousand years lL hurLs my vanlLy Lo see Lhese
pagans refuse Lo eaL of food LhaL has been cooked for us or Lo eaL from a dlsh we have eaLen from
or Lo drlnk from a goaLskln whlch we have polluLed wlLh our ChrlsLlan llps excepL by fllLerlng Lhe
waLer Lhrough a rag whlch Lhey puL over Lhe mouLh of lL or Lhrough a sponge! l never dlsllked a
Chlnaman as l do Lhese degraded 1urks and Arabs and when 8ussla ls ready Lo war wlLh Lhem agaln
l hope Lngland and lrance wlll noL flnd lL good breedlng or good [udgmenL Lo lnLerfere

ln uamascus Lhey Lhlnk Lhere are no such rlvers ln all Lhe world as Lhelr llLLle Abana and harpar
1he uamascenes have always LhoughL LhaL way ln 2 klngs chapLer v naaman boasLs exLravaganLly
abouL Lhem 1haL was Lhree Lhousand


464


years ago Pe says Are noL Abana and harpar rlvers of uamascus beLLer Lhan all Lhe waLers of
lsrael? May l noL wash ln Lhem and be clean? 8uL some of my readers have forgoLLen who naaman
was long ago naaman was Lhe commander of Lhe Syrlan armles Pe was Lhe favorlLe of Lhe klng and
llved ln greaL sLaLe Pe was a mlghLy man of valor buL he was a leper SLrangely enough Lhe house
Lhey polnL ouL Lo you now as hls has been Lurned lnLo a leper hosplLal and Lhe lnmaLes expose Lhelr
horrld deformlLles and hold up Lhelr hands and beg for bucksheesh when a sLranger enLers


Cne can noL appreclaLe Lhe horror of Lhls dlsease unLll he looks upon lL ln all lLs ghasLllness ln
naamans anclenL dwelllng ln uamascus 8ones all LwlsLed ouL of shape greaL knoLs proLrudlng from
face and body [olnLs decaylng and dropplng away horrlble!
ChapLer 43
CPA1L8 xLv



463



1PL lasL LwenLyfour hours we sLald ln uamascus l lay prosLraLe wlLh a vlolenL aLLack of cholera or
cholera morbus and Lherefore had a good chance and a good excuse Lo lle Lhere on LhaL wlde dlvan
and Lake an honesL resL l had noLhlng Lo do buL llsLen Lo Lhe paLLerlng of Lhe founLalns and Lake
medlclne and Lhrow lL up agaln lL was dangerous recreaLlon buL lL was pleasanLer Lhan Lravellng ln
Syrla l had plenLy of snow from MounL Permon and as lL would noL sLay on my sLomach Lhere was
noLhlng Lo lnLerfere wlLh my eaLlng lL Lhere was always room for more l en[oyed myself very well
Syrlan Lravel has lLs lnLeresLlng feaLures llke Lravel ln any oLher parL of Lhe world and yeL Lo break
your leg or have Lhe cholera adds a welcome varleLy Lo lL

We lefL uamascus aL noon and rode across Lhe plaln a couple of hours and Lhen Lhe parLy sLopped
a whlle ln Lhe shade of some flgLrees Lo glve me a chance Lo resL lL was Lhe hoLLesL day we had
seen yeL Lhe sunflames shoL down llke Lhe shafLs of flre LhaL sLream ouL before a blowplpe Lhe
rays seemed Lo fall ln a sLeady deluge on Lhe head and pass downward llke raln from a roof l
lmaglned l could dlsLlngulsh beLween Lhe floods of rays l LhoughL l could Lell when each flood
sLruck my head when lL reached my shoulders and when Lhe nexL one came lL was Lerrlble All Lhe
deserL glared so flercely LhaL my eyes were swlmmlng ln Lears all Lhe Llme 1he boys had whlLe
umbrellas heavlly llned wlLh dark green 1hey were a prlceless blesslng l Lhanked forLune LhaL l had
one Loo noLwlLhsLandlng lL was packed up wlLh


466


Lhe baggage and was Len mlles ahead lL ls madness Lo Lravel ln Syrla wlLhouL an umbrella 1hey Lold
me ln 8elrouL (Lhese people who always gorge you wlLh advlce) LhaL lL was madness Lo Lravel ln Syrla
wlLhouL an umbrella lL was on Lhls accounL LhaL l goL one

8uL honesLly l Lhlnk an umbrella ls a nulsance any where when lLs buslness ls Lo keep Lhe sun off
no Arab wears a brlm Lo hls fez or uses an umbrella or any Lhlng Lo shade hls eyes or hls face and
he always looks comforLable and proper ln Lhe sun 8uL of all Lhe rldlculous slghLs l ever have seen
our parLy of elghL ls Lhe mosL so Lhey do cuL such an ouLlandlsh flgure 1hey Lravel slngle flle Lhey
all wear Lhe endless whlLe rag of ConsLanLlnople wrapped round and round Lhelr haLs and dangllng
down Lhelr backs Lhey all wear Lhlck green specLacles wlLh sldeglasses Lo Lhem Lhey all hold whlLe
umbrellas llned wlLh green over Lhelr heads wlLhouL excepLlon Lhelr sLlrrups are Loo shorL Lhey
are Lhe very worsL gang of horsemen on earLh Lhelr anlmals Lo a horse LroL fearfully hard and
when Lhey geL sLrung ouL one afLer Lhe oLher glarlng sLralghL ahead and breaLhless bounclng hlgh
and ouL of Lurn all along Lhe


467


llne knees well up and sLlff elbows flapplng llke a roosLers LhaL ls golng Lo crow and Lhe long flle of
umbrellas popplng convulslvely up and down when one sees Lhls ouLrageous plcLure exposed Lo
Lhe llghL of day he ls amazed LhaL Lhe gods donL geL ouL Lhelr LhunderbolLs and desLroy Lhem off
Lhe face of Lhe earLh! l do l wonder aL lL l wouldnL leL any such caravan go Lhrough a counLry of
mlne


And when Lhe sun drops below Lhe horlzon and Lhe boys close Lhelr umbrellas and puL Lhem under
Lhelr arms lL ls only a varlaLlon of Lhe plcLure noL a modlflcaLlon of lLs absurdlLy

8uL may be you can noL see Lhe wlld exLravagance of my panorama ?ou could lf you were here
Pere you feel all Lhe Llme [usL as lf you were llvlng abouL Lhe year 1200 before ChrlsL or back Lo
Lhe paLrlarchs or forward Lo Lhe new Lra 1he scenery of Lhe 8lble ls abouL you Lhe cusLoms of
Lhe paLrlarchs are around you Lhe same people ln Lhe same flowlng robes and ln sandals cross
your paLh Lhe same long Lralns of sLaLely camels go and come Lhe same lmpresslve rellglous
solemnlLy and sllence resL upon Lhe deserL and Lhe mounLalns LhaL were upon Lhem ln Lhe remoLe
ages of anLlqulLy and behold lnLrudlng upon a scene llke Lhls comes Lhls fanLasLlc mob of green
specLacled ?anks wlLh Lhelr flapplng elbows and bobblng umbrellas! lL ls uanlel ln Lhe llons den
wlLh a green coLLon umbrella under hls arm all over agaln

My umbrella ls wlLh Lhe baggage and so are my green specLacles and Lhere Lhey shall sLay l wlll
noL use Lhem l wlll show some respecL for Lhe eLernal flLness of Lhlngs lL wlll be bad enough Lo geL
sunsLruck wlLhouL looklng rldlculous lnLo Lhe bargaln lf l fall leL me fall bearlng abouL me Lhe
semblance of a ChrlsLlna aL leasL

1hree or four hours ouL from uamascus we passed Lhe spoL where Saul was so abrupLly converLed
and from Lhls place we looked back over Lhe scorchlng deserL and had our lasL gllmpse of beauLlful
uamascus decked ln lLs robes of shlnlng green AfLer nlghLfall we reached our LenLs [usL ouLslde of
Lhe nasLy Arab vlllage of !onesborough Cf course Lhe real name of Lhe place ls Ll someLhlng or
oLher buL Lhe boys sLlll refuse Lo


468


recognlze Lhe Arab names or Lry Lo pronounce Lhem When l say LhaL LhaL vlllage ls of Lhe usual
sLyle l mean Lo lnslnuaLe LhaL all Syrlan vlllages wlLhln flfLy mlles of uamascus are allke so much
allke LhaL lL would requlre more Lhan human lnLelllgence Lo Lell whereln one dlffered from anoLher
A Syrlan vlllage ls a hlve of huLs one sLory hlgh (Lhe helghL of a man) and as square as a drygoods
box lL ls mudplasLered all over flaL roof and all and generally whlLewashed afLer a fashlon 1he
same roof ofLen exLends over half Lhe Lown coverlng many of Lhe sLreeLs whlch are generally abouL
a yard wlde When you rlde Lhrough one of Lhese vlllages aL noonday you flrsL meeL a melancholy
dog LhaL looks up aL you and sllenLly begs LhaL you wonL run over hlm buL he does noL offer Lo geL
ouL of Lhe way nexL you meeL a young boy wlLhouL any cloLhes on and he holds ouL hls hand and
says 8ucksheesh! he donL really expecL a cenL buL Lhen he learned Lo say LhaL before he learned
Lo say moLher and now he can noL break hlmself of lL nexL you meeL a woman wlLh a black vell
drawn closely over her face and her busL exposed flnally you come Lo several soreeyed chlldren
and chlldren ln all sLages of muLllaLlon and decay and slLLlng humbly ln Lhe dusL and all frlnged wlLh
fllLhy rags ls a poor devll whose arms and legs are gnarled and LwlsLed llke grapevlnes 1hese are all
Lhe people you are llkely Lo see 1he balance of Lhe populaLlon are asleep wlLhln doors or abroad
Lendlng goaLs ln Lhe plalns and on Lhe hlllsldes 1he vlllage ls bullL on some consumpLlve llLLle waLer
course and abouL lL ls a llLLle freshlooklng vegeLaLlon 8eyond Lhls charmed clrcle for mlles on
every slde sLreLches a weary deserL of sand and gravel whlch produces a gray bunchy shrub llke
sagebrush A Syrlan vlllage ls Lhe sorrlesL slghL ln Lhe world and lLs surroundlngs are emlnenLly ln
keeplng wlLh lL


l would noL have gone lnLo Lhls dlsserLaLlon upon Syrlan vlllages buL for Lhe facL LhaL nlmrod Lhe
MlghLy PunLer of ScrlpLural noLorleLy ls burled ln !onesborough and l wlshed Lhe publlc Lo know
abouL how he ls locaLed Llke Pomer he ls sald Lo be burled ln many oLher places buL Lhls ls Lhe only
Lrue and genulne place hls ashes lnhablL


469



When Lhe orlglnal Lrlbes were dlspersed more Lhan four Lhousand years ago nlmrod and a large
parLy Lraveled Lhree or four hundred mlles and seLLled where Lhe greaL clLy of 8abylon afLerwards
sLood nlmrod bullL LhaL clLy Pe also began Lo bulld Lhe famous 1ower of 8abel buL clrcumsLances
over whlch he had no conLrol puL lL ouL of hls power Lo flnlsh lL Pe ran lL up elghL sLorles hlgh
however and Lwo of Lhem sLlll sLand aL Lhls day a colossal mass of brlckwork renL down Lhe
cenLre by earLhquakes and seared and vlLrlfled by Lhe llghLnlngs of an angry Cod 8uL Lhe vasL ruln
wlll sLlll sLand for ages Lo shame Lhe puny labors of Lhese modern generaLlons of men lLs huge
comparLmenLs are LenanLed by owls and llons and old nlmrod lles neglecLed ln Lhls wreLched
vlllage far from Lhe scene of hls grand enLerprlse

We lefL !onesborough very early ln Lhe mornlng and rode forever and forever and forever lL
seemed Lo me over parched deserLs and rocky hllls hungry and wlLh no waLer Lo drlnk We had
dralned Lhe goaLsklns dry ln a llLLle whlle AL noon we halLed before Lhe wreLched Arab Lown of Ll
?uba uam perched on Lhe slde of a mounLaln buL Lhe dragoman sald lf we applled Lhere for waLer
we would be aLLacked by Lhe whole Lrlbe for Lhey dld noL love ChrlsLlans We had Lo [ourney on
1wo hours laLer we reached Lhe fooL of a Lall lsolaLed mounLaln whlch ls crowned by Lhe crumbllng
casLle of 8anlas Lhe sLaLellesL ruln of LhaL klnd on earLh no doubL lL ls a Lhousand feeL long and Lwo
hundred wlde all of Lhe mosL symmeLrlcal and aL Lhe same Llme Lhe mosL ponderous masonry 1he
masslve Lowers and basLlons are more Lhan LhlrLy feeL hlgh and have been slxLy lrom Lhe
mounLalns peak lLs broken LurreLs rlse above Lhe groves of anclenL oaks and ollves and look
wonderfully plcLuresque lL ls of such hlgh anLlqulLy LhaL no man knows who bullL lL or when lL was
bullL lL ls uLLerly lnaccesslble excepL ln one place where a brldlepaLh wlnds upward among Lhe
solld rocks Lo Lhe old porLcullls 1he horses hoofs have bored holes ln Lhese rocks Lo Lhe depLh of slx
lnches durlng Lhe hundreds and hundreds of years LhaL Lhe casLle was garrlsoned We wandered for
Lhree hours


470


among Lhe chambers and crypLs and dungeons of Lhe forLress and Lrod where Lhe malled heels of
many a knlghLly Crusader had rang and where henlclan heroes had walked ages before Lhem


We wondered how such a solld mass of masonry could be affecLed even by an earLhquake and
could noL undersLand whaL agency had made 8anlas a ruln buL we found Lhe desLroyer afLer a
whlle and Lhen our wonder was lncreased Lenfold Seeds had fallen ln crevlces ln Lhe vasL walls Lhe
seeds had sprouLed Lhe Lender lnslgnlflcanL sprouLs had hardened Lhey grew larger and larger and
by a sLeady lmpercepLlble pressure forced Lhe greaL sLones aparL and now are brlnglng sure
desLrucLlon upon a glanL work LhaL has even mocked Lhe earLhquakes Lo scorn! Cnarled and LwlsLed
Lrees sprlng from Lhe old walls every where and beauLlfy and overshadow Lhe gray baLLlemenLs wlLh
a wlld luxurlance of follage

lrom Lhese old Lowers we looked down upon a broad farreachlng green plaln gllLLerlng wlLh Lhe
pools and rlvuleLs whlch are Lhe sources of Lhe sacred rlver !ordan lL was a graLeful vlslon afLer so
much deserL

And as Lhe evenlng drew near we clambered down Lhe mounLaln Lhrough groves of Lhe 8lbllcal
oaks of 8ashan (for we were [usL sLepplng over Lhe border and enLerlng Lhe longsoughL Poly Land)
and aL lLs exLreme fooL Loward Lhe wlde valley we enLered Lhls llLLle execrable vlllage of 8anlas and
camped ln a greaL grove of ollve Lrees near a LorrenL of sparkllng waLer whose banks are arrayed ln
flgLrees pomegranaLes and oleanders ln full leaf 8arrlng Lhe proxlmlLy of Lhe vlllage lL ls a sorL of
paradlse

1he very flrsL Lhlng one feels llke dolng when he geLs lnLo camp all burnlng up and dusLy ls Lo hunL
up a baLh We followed Lhe sLream up Lo where lL gushes ouL of Lhe mounLaln slde Lhree hundred
yards from Lhe LenLs and Look a baLh LhaL was so lcy LhaL lf l dld noL know Lhls was Lhe maln source
of Lhe sacred rlver l would expecL harm Lo come of lL lL was baLhlng aL noonday ln Lhe chllly source
of Lhe Abana 8lver of uamascus LhaL gave me Lhe cholera so ur 8 sald Powever lL generally
does glve me Lhe cholera Lo Lake a baLh


471




1he lncorrlglble pllgrlms have come ln wlLh Lhelr pockeLs full of speclmens broken from Lhe rulns l
wlsh Lhls vandallsm could be sLopped 1hey broke off fragmenLs from noahs Lomb from Lhe
exqulslLe sculpLures of Lhe Lemples of 8aalbec from Lhe houses of !udas and Ananlas ln uamascus
from Lhe Lomb of nlmrod Lhe MlghLy PunLer ln !onesborough from Lhe worn Creek and 8oman
lnscrlpLlons seL ln Lhe hoary walls of Lhe CasLle of 8anlas and now Lhey have been hacklng and
chlpplng Lhese old arches here LhaL !esus looked upon ln Lhe flesh Peaven proLecL Lhe Sepulchre
when Lhls Lrlbe lnvades !erusalem!

1he rulns here are noL very lnLeresLlng 1here are Lhe masslve walls of a greaL square bulldlng LhaL
was once Lhe clLadel Lhere are many ponderous old arches LhaL are so smoLhered wlLh debrls LhaL
Lhey barely pro[ecL above Lhe ground Lhere are heavywalled sewers Lhrough whlch Lhe crysLal
brook of whlch !ordan ls born sLlll runs ln Lhe hlllslde are Lhe subsLrucLlons of a cosLly marble
Lemple LhaL Perod Lhe CreaL bullL here paLches of lLs handsome mosalc floors sLlll remaln Lhere ls
a qualnL old sLone brldge LhaL was here before Perods Llme may be scaLLered every where ln Lhe
paLhs and ln Lhe woods are CorlnLhlan caplLals broken porphyry plllars and llLLle fragmenLs of
sculpLure and up yonder ln Lhe preclplce where Lhe founLaln gushes ouL are wellworn Creek
lnscrlpLlons over nlches ln Lhe rock where ln anclenL Llmes Lhe Creeks and afLer Lhem Lhe 8omans
worshlpped Lhe sylvan god an 8uL Lrees and bushes grow above many of Lhese rulns now Lhe
mlserable huLs of a llLLle crew of fllLhy Arabs are perched upon Lhe broken masonry of anLlqulLy Lhe
whole place has a sleepy sLupld rural look abouL lL and one can hardly brlng hlmself Lo belleve LhaL
a busy subsLanLlally bullL clLy once exlsLed here even Lwo Lhousand years ago 1he place was
neverLheless Lhe scene of an evenL whose effecLs have added page afLer page and volume afLer
volume Lo Lhe worlds hlsLory lor ln Lhls place ChrlsL sLood when he sald Lo eLer
1hou arL eLer and upon Lhls rock wlll l bulld my church and Lhe gaLes of hell shall noL prevall
agalnsL lL And l wlll glve unLo Lhee Lhe keys of Lhe klngdom


472


of Peaven and whaLsoever Lhou shalL blnd on earLh shall be bound ln heaven and whaLsoever Lhou
shalL loose on earLh shall be loosed ln heaven

Cn Lhose llLLle senLences have been bullL up Lhe mlghLy edlflce of Lhe Church of 8ome ln Lhem lle
Lhe auLhorlLy for Lhe lmperlal power of Lhe opes over Lemporal affalrs and Lhelr godllke power Lo
curse a soul or wash lL whlLe from sln 1o susLaln Lhe poslLlon of Lhe only Lrue Church whlch 8ome
clalms was Lhus conferred upon her she has foughL and labored and sLruggled for many a cenLury
and wlll conLlnue Lo keep herself busy ln Lhe same work Lo Lhe end of Llme 1he memorable words l
have quoLed glve Lo Lhls rulned clLy abouL all Lhe lnLeresL lL possesses Lo people of Lhe presenL day

lL seems curlous enough Lo us Lo be sLandlng on ground LhaL was once acLually pressed by Lhe feeL
of Lhe Savlour 1he slLuaLlon ls suggesLlve of a reallLy and a LanglblllLy LhaL seem aL varlance wlLh Lhe
vagueness and mysLery and ghosLllness LhaL one naLurally aLLaches Lo Lhe characLer of a god l can
noL comprehend yeL LhaL l am slLLlng where a god has sLood and looklng upon Lhe brook and Lhe
mounLalns whlch LhaL god looked upon and am surrounded by dusky men and women whose
ancesLors saw hlm and even Lalked wlLh hlm face Lo face and carelessly [usL as Lhey would have
done wlLh any oLher sLranger l can noL comprehend Lhls Lhe gods of my undersLandlng have been
always hldden ln clouds and very far away

1hls mornlng durlng breakfasL Lhe usual assemblage of squalld humanlLy saL paLlenLly wlLhouL Lhe
charmed clrcle of Lhe camp and walLed for such crumbs as plLy mlghL besLow upon Lhelr mlsery
1here were old and young brownsklnned and yellow Some of Lhe men were Lall and sLalwarL (for
one hardly sees any where such splendldlooklng men as here ln Lhe LasL) buL all Lhe women and
chlldren looked worn and sad and dlsLressed wlLh hunger 1hey remlnded me much of lndlans dld
Lhese people 1hey had buL llLLle cloLhlng buL such as Lhey had was fanclful ln characLer and
fanLasLlc ln lLs arrangemenL Any llLLle absurd gewgaw or glmcrack Lhey had Lhey dlsposed ln such a
way as Lo make lL aLLracL aLLenLlon


473


mosL readlly 1hey saL ln sllence and wlLh Llreless paLlence waLched our every moLlon wlLh LhaL vlle
uncomplalnlng lmpollLeness whlch ls so Lruly lndlan and whlch makes a whlLe man so nervous and
uncomforLable and savage LhaL he wanLs Lo exLermlnaLe Lhe whole Lrlbe


1hese people abouL us had oLher pecullarlLles whlch l have noLlced ln Lhe noble red man Loo Lhey
were lnfesLed wlLh vermln and Lhe dlrL had caked on Lhem Llll lL amounLed Lo bark

1he llLLle chlldren were ln a plLlable condlLlon Lhey all had sore eyes and were oLherwlse
affllcLed ln varlous ways 1hey say LhaL hardly a naLlve chlld ln all Lhe LasL ls free from sore eyes and
LhaL Lhousands of Lhem go bllnd of one eye or boLh every year l Lhlnk Lhls musL be so for l see
plenLy of bllnd people every day and l do noL remember seelng any chlldren LhaL hadnL sore eyes
And would you suppose LhaL an Amerlcan moLher could slL for an hour wlLh her chlld ln her arms
and leL a hundred flles roosL upon lLs eyes all LhaL Llme undlsLurbed? l see LhaL every day lL makes
my flesh creep ?esLerday we meL a woman rldlng on a llLLle [ackass and she had a llLLle chlld ln her
arms honesLly l LhoughL Lhe chlld had goggles on as we approached and l wondered how lLs
moLher could afford so much sLyle 8uL when we drew near we saw LhaL Lhe goggles were noLhlng
buL a camp meeLlng of flles assembled around each of Lhe chllds eyes and aL Lhe same Llme Lhere
was a deLachmenL prospecLlng lLs nose 1he flles were happy Lhe chlld was conLenLed and so Lhe
moLher dld noL lnLerfere

As soon as Lhe Lrlbe found ouL LhaL we had a docLor ln our parLy Lhey began Lo flock ln from all
quarLers ur 8 ln Lhe charlLy of hls naLure had Laken a chlld from a woman who saL near by and
puL some sorL of a wash upon lLs dlseased eyes 1haL woman wenL off and sLarLed Lhe whole naLlon
and lL was a slghL Lo see Lhem swarm! 1he lame Lhe halL Lhe bllnd Lhe leprous all Lhe dlsLempers
LhaL are bred of lndolence dlrL and lnlqulLy were represenLed ln Lhe Congress ln Len mlnuLes and
sLlll Lhey came! Lvery woman LhaL had a


474


slck baby broughL lL along and every woman LhaL hadnL borrowed one WhaL reverenL and whaL
worshlplng looks Lhey benL upon LhaL dread mysLerlous power Lhe uocLor! 1hey waLched hlm Lake
hls phlals ouL Lhey waLched hlm measure Lhe parLlcles of whlLe powder Lhey waLched hlm add
drops of one preclous llquld and drops of anoLher Lhey losL noL Lhe sllghLesL movemenL Lhelr eyes
were rlveLed upon hlm wlLh a fasclnaLlon LhaL noLhlng could dlsLracL l belleve Lhey LhoughL he was
glfLed llke a god When each lndlvldual goL hls porLlon of medlclne hls eyes were radlanL wlLh [oy
noLwlLhsLandlng by naLure Lhey are a Lhankless and lmpasslve race and upon hls face was wrlLLen
Lhe unquesLlonlng falLh LhaL noLhlng on earLh could prevenL Lhe paLlenL from geLLlng well now


ChrlsL knew how Lo preach Lo Lhese slmple supersLlLlous dlseaseLorLured creaLures Pe healed
Lhe slck 1hey flocked Lo our poor human docLor Lhls mornlng when Lhe fame of whaL he had done
Lo Lhe slck chlld wenL abroad ln Lhe land and Lhey worshlped hlm wlLh Lhelr eyes whlle Lhey dld noL
know


473


as yeL wheLher Lhere was vlrLue ln hls slmples or noL 1he ancesLors of Lhese people preclsely llke
Lhem ln color dress manners cusLoms slmpllclLy flocked ln vasL mulLlLudes afLer ChrlsL and
when Lhey saw Plm make Lhe affllcLed whole wlLh a word lL ls no wonder Lhey worshlped Plm no
wonder Pls deeds were Lhe Lalk of Lhe naLlon no wonder Lhe mulLlLude LhaL followed Plm was so
greaL LhaL aL one Llme LhlrLy mlles from here Lhey had Lo leL a slck man down Lhrough Lhe roof
because no approach could be made Lo Lhe door no wonder Pls audlences were so greaL aL Calllee
LhaL Pe had Lo preach from a shlp removed a llLLle dlsLance from Lhe shore no wonder LhaL even ln
Lhe deserL places abouL 8eLhsalda flve Lhousand lnvaded Pls sollLude and Pe had Lo feed Lhem by a
mlracle or else see Lhem suffer for Lhelr confldlng falLh and devoLlon no wonder when Lhere was a
greaL commoLlon ln a clLy ln Lhose days one nelghbor explalned lL Lo anoLher ln words Lo Lhls effecL
1hey say LhaL !esus of nazareLh ls come!

Well as l was saylng Lhe docLor dlsLrlbuLed medlclne as long as he had any Lo dlsLrlbuLe and hls
repuLaLlon ls mlghLy ln Calllee Lhls day Among hls paLlenLs was Lhe chlld of Lhe Shleks daughLer
for even Lhls poor ragged handful of sores and sln has lLs royal Shlek a poor old mummy LhaL
looked as lf he would be more aL home ln a poorhouse Lhan ln Lhe Chlef MaglsLracy of Lhls Lrlbe of
hopeless shlrLless savages 1he prlncess l mean Lhe Shleks daughLer was only LhlrLeen or
fourLeen years old and had a very sweeL face and a preLLy one She was Lhe only Syrlan female we
have seen yeL who was noL so slnfully ugly LhaL she couldnL smlle afLer Len oclock SaLurday nlghL
wlLhouL breaklng Lhe SabbaLh Per chlld was a hard speclmen Lhough Lhere wasnL enough of lL Lo
make a ple and Lhe poor llLLle Lhlng looked so pleadlngly up aL all who came near lL (as lf lL had an
ldea LhaL now was lLs chance or never) LhaL we were fllled wlLh compasslon whlch was genulne and
noL puL on

8uL Lhls lasL new horse l have goL ls Lrylng Lo break hls neck over Lhe LenLropes and l shall have Lo
go ouL and anchor


476


hlm !erlcho and l have parLed company 1he new horse ls noL much Lo boasL of l Lhlnk Cne of hls
hlnd legs bends Lhe wrong way and Lhe oLher one ls as sLralghL and sLlff as a LenLpole MosL of hls
LeeLh are gone and he ls as bllnd as baL Pls nose has been broken aL some Llme or oLher and ls
arched llke a culverL now Pls under llp hangs down llke a camels and hls ears are chopped off close
Lo hls head l had some Lrouble aL flrsL Lo flnd a name for hlm buL l flnally concluded Lo call hlm
8aalbec because he ls such a magnlflcenL ruln l can noL keep from Lalklng abouL my horses because
l have a very long and Ledlous [ourney before me and Lhey naLurally occupy my LhoughLs abouL as
much as maLLers of apparenLly much greaLer lmporLance


We saLlsfled our pllgrlms by maklng Lhose hard rldes from 8aalbec Lo uamascus buL uans horse
and !acks were so crlppled we had Lo leave Lhem behlnd and geL fresh anlmals for Lhem 1he
dragoman says !acks horse dled l swapped horses wlLh Mohammed Lhe klnglylooklng LgypLlan
who ls our lergusons lleuLenanL 8y lerguson l mean our dragoman Abraham of course l dld noL
Lake Lhls horse on accounL of hls personal appearance buL because l have noL seen hls back l do noL
wlsh Lo see lL l have seen Lhe backs of all Lhe oLher horses and found mosL of Lhem covered wlLh
dreadful saddlebolls whlch l know have noL been washed or docLored for years 1he ldea of rldlng
all day long over such ghasLly lnqulslLlons


477


of LorLure ls slckenlng My horse musL be llke Lhe oLhers buL l have aL leasL Lhe consolaLlon of noL
knowlng lL Lo be so

l hope LhaL ln fuLure l may be spared any more senLlmenLal pralses of Lhe Arabs ldolaLry of hls
horse ln boyhood l longed Lo be an Arab of Lhe deserL and have a beauLlful mare and call her Sellm
or 8en[amln or Mohammed and feed her wlLh my own hands and leL her come lnLo Lhe LenL and
Leach her Lo caress me and look fondly upon me wlLh her greaL Lender eyes and l wlshed LhaL a
sLranger mlghL come aL such a Llme and offer me a hundred Lhousand dollars for her so LhaL l could
do llke Lhe oLher Arabs heslLaLe yearn for Lhe money buL overcome by my love for my mare aL
lasL say arL wlLh Lhee my beauLlful one! never wlLh my llfe! Away LempLer l scorn Lhy gold! and
Lhen bound lnLo Lhe saddle and speed over Lhe deserL llke Lhe wlnd!

8uL l recall Lhose asplraLlons lf Lhese Arabs be llke Lhe oLher Arabs Lhelr love for Lhelr beauLlful
mares ls a fraud 1hese of my acqualnLance have no love for Lhelr horses no senLlmenL of plLy for
Lhem and no knowledge of how Lo LreaL Lhem or care for Lhem 1he Syrlan saddleblankeL ls a
qullLed maLLress Lwo or Lhree lnches Lhlck lL ls never removed from Lhe horse day or nlghL lL geLs
full of dlrL and halr and becomes soaked wlLh sweaL lL ls bound Lo breed sores 1hese plraLes never
Lhlnk of washlng a horses back 1hey do noL shelLer Lhe horses ln Lhe LenLs elLher Lhey musL sLay
ouL and Lake Lhe weaLher as lL comes Look aL poor cropped and dllapldaLed 8aalbec and weep for
Lhe senLlmenL LhaL has been wasLed upon Lhe Sellms of romance!

ChapLer 46
CPA1L8 xLvl



478



A8Cu1 an hours rlde over a rough rocky road half flooded wlLh waLer and Lhrough a foresL of
oaks of 8ashan broughL us Lo uan

lrom a llLLle mound here ln Lhe plaln lssues a broad sLream of llmpld waLer and forms a large
shallow pool and Lhen rushes furlously onward augmenLed ln volume 1hls puddle ls an lmporLanL
source of Lhe !ordan lLs banks and Lhose of Lhe brook are respecLably adorned wlLh bloomlng
oleanders buL Lhe unuLLerable beauLy of Lhe spoL wlll noL Lhrow a wellbalanced man lnLo
convulslons as Lhe Syrlan books of Lravel would lead one Lo suppose

lrom Lhe spoL l am speaklng of a cannonball would carry beyond Lhe conflnes of Poly Land and
llghL upon profane ground Lhree mlles away We were only one llLLle hours Lravel wlLhln Lhe borders
of Poly Land we had hardly begun Lo appreclaLe yeL LhaL we were sLandlng upon any dlfferenL sorL
of earLh Lhan LhaL we had always been used Lo and see how Lhe hlsLorlc names began already Lo
clusLer! uan 8ashan Lake Puleh Lhe Sources of !ordan Lhe Sea of Calllee 1hey were all ln
slghL buL Lhe lasL and lL was noL far away 1he llLLle Lownshlp of 8ashan was once Lhe klngdom so
famous ln ScrlpLure for lLs bulls and lLs oaks Lake Puleh ls Lhe 8lbllcal WaLers of Merom uan was
Lhe norLhern and 8eersheba Lhe souLhern llmlL of alesLlne hence Lhe expresslon from uan Lo
8eersheba lL ls equlvalenL Lo our phrases from Malne Lo 1exas from 8alLlmore Lo San
lranclsco Cur expresslon and LhaL of Lhe lsraellLes boLh


479


mean Lhe same greaL dlsLance WlLh Lhelr slow camels and asses lL was abouL a seven days
[ourney from uan Lo 8eersheba say a hundred and flfLy or slxLy mlles lL was Lhe enLlre lengLh of
Lhelr counLry and was noL Lo be underLaken wlLhouL greaL preparaLlon and much ceremony When
Lhe rodlgal Lraveled Lo a far counLry lL ls noL llkely LhaL he wenL more Lhan elghLy or nlneLy
mlles alesLlne ls only from forLy Lo slxLy mlles wlde 1he SLaLe of Mlssourl could be spllL lnLo Lhree
alesLlnes and Lhere would Lhen be enough maLerlal lefL for parL of anoLher posslbly a whole one
lrom 8alLlmore Lo San lranclsco ls several Lhousand mlles buL lL wlll be only a seven days [ourney ln
Lhe cars when l am Lwo or Lhree years older461 lf l llve l shall necessarlly have Lo go across Lhe
conLlnenL every now and Lhen ln Lhose cars buL one [ourney from uan Lo 8eersheba wlll be
sufflclenL no doubL lL musL be Lhe mosL Lrylng of Lhe Lwo 1herefore lf we chance Lo dlscover LhaL
from uan Lo 8eersheba seemed a mlghLy sLreLch of counLry Lo Lhe lsraellLes leL us noL be alry wlLh
Lhem buL reflecL LhaL lL was and ls a mlghLy sLreLch when one can noL Lraverse lL by rall


1he small mound l have menLloned a whlle ago was once occupled by Lhe henlclan clLy of Lalsh A
parLy of flllbusLers from Zorah and Lschol capLured Lhe place and llved Lhere


480



ln a free and easy way worshlplng gods of Lhelr own manufacLure and sLeallng ldols from Lhelr
nelghbors whenever Lhey wore Lhelr own ouL !eroboam seL up a golden calf here Lo fasclnaLe hls
people and keep Lhem from maklng dangerous Lrlps Lo !erusalem Lo worshlp whlch mlghL resulL ln a
reLurn Lo Lhelr rlghLful alleglance WlLh all respecL for Lhose anclenL lsraellLes l can noL overlook Lhe
facL LhaL Lhey were noL always vlrLuous enough Lo wlLhsLand Lhe seducLlons of a golden calf Puman
naLure has noL changed much slnce Lhen

Some forLy cenLurles ago Lhe clLy of Sodom was plllaged by Lhe Arab prlnces of MesopoLamla and
among oLher prlsoners Lhey selzed upon Lhe paLrlarch LoL and broughL hlm here on Lhelr way Lo
Lhelr own possesslons 1hey broughL hlm Lo uan and faLher Abraham who was pursulng Lhem
crepL sofLly ln aL dead of nlghL among Lhe whlsperlng oleanders and under Lhe shadows of Lhe
sLaLely oaks and fell upon Lhe slumberlng vlcLors and sLarLled Lhem from Lhelr dreams wlLh Lhe clash
of sLeel Pe recapLured LoL and all Lhe oLher plunder

We moved on We were now ln a green valley flve or slx mlles wlde and flfLeen long 1he sLreams
whlch are called Lhe sources of Lhe !ordan flow Lhrough lL Lo Lake Puleh a shallow pond Lhree mlles
ln dlameLer and from Lhe souLhern exLremlLy of Lhe Lake Lhe concenLraLed !ordan flows ouL 1he
Lake ls surrounded by a broad marsh grown wlLh reeds 8eLween Lhe marsh and Lhe mounLalns
whlch wall Lhe valley ls a respecLable sLrlp of ferLlle land aL Lhe end of Lhe valley Loward uan as
much as half Lhe land ls solld and ferLlle and waLered by !ordans sources 1here ls enough of lL Lo
make a farm lL almosL warranLs Lhe enLhuslasm of Lhe sples of LhaL rabble of advenLurers who
capLured uan 1hey sald We have seen Lhe land and behold lL ls very good * * * A place where
Lhere ls no wanL of any Lhlng LhaL ls ln Lhe earLh

1helr enLhuslasm was aL leasL warranLed by Lhe facL LhaL Lhey had never seen a counLry as good as
Lhls 1here was


481


enough of lL for Lhe ample supporL of Lhelr slx hundred men and Lhelr famllles Loo


When we goL falrly down on Lhe level parL of Lhe uanlLe farm we came Lo places where we could
acLually run our horses lL was a noLable clrcumsLance

We had been palnfully clamberlng over lnLermlnable hllls and rocks for days LogeLher and when
we suddenly came upon Lhls asLonlshlng plece of rockless plaln every man drove Lhe spurs lnLo hls
horse and sped away wlLh a veloclLy he could surely en[oy Lo Lhe uLmosL buL could never hope Lo
comprehend ln Syrla

Pere were evldences of culLlvaLlon a rare slghL ln Lhls counLry an acre or Lwo of rlch soll
sLudded wlLh lasL seasons dead cornsLalks of Lhe Lhlckness of your Lhumb and very wlde aparL 8uL
ln such a land lL was a Lhrllllng specLacle Close Lo lL was a sLream and on lLs banks a greaL herd of
curlouslooklng Syrlan goaLs and sheep were graLefully eaLlng gravel l do noL sLaLe Lhls as a peLrlfled
facL l only suppose Lhey were eaLlng gravel because Lhere dld noL appear Lo be any Lhlng else for
Lhem Lo eaL 1he shepherds LhaL Lended Lhem were Lhe very plcLures of !oseph and hls breLhren l
have no doubL ln Lhe world 1hey were Lall muscular and very darksklnned 8edoulns wlLh lnky
black beards 1hey had flrm llps unqualllng eyes and a klngly sLaLellness of bearlng 1hey wore Lhe
parLlcolored half bonneL half hood wlLh frlnged ends falllng upon Lhelr shoulders and Lhe full
flowlng robe barred wlLh broad black sLrlpes Lhe dress one sees ln all plcLures of Lhe swarLhy sons
of Lhe deserL 1hese chaps would sell Lhelr younger broLhers lf Lhey had a chance l Lhlnk 1hey have
Lhe manners Lhe cusLoms Lhe dress Lhe occupaLlon and Lhe loose prlnclples of Lhe anclenL sLock
1hey aLLacked our camp lasL nlghL and l bear Lhem no good wlll 1hey had wlLh Lhem Lhe plgmy
[ackasses one sees all over Syrla and remembers ln all plcLures of Lhe lllghL lnLo LgypL where Mary
and Lhe ?oung Chlld are rldlng and !oseph ls walklng alongslde Lowerlng hlgh above Lhe llLLle
donkeys shoulders

8uL really here Lhe man rldes and carrles Lhe chlld as a


482


general Lhlng and Lhe woman walks 1he cusLoms have noL changed slnce !osephs Llme We would
noL have ln our houses a plcLure represenLlng !oseph rldlng and Mary walklng we would see
profanaLlon ln lL buL a Syrlan ChrlsLlan would noL l know LhaL hereafLer Lhe plcLure l flrsL spoke of
wlll look odd Lo me


We could noL sLop Lo resL Lwo or Lhree hours ouL from our camp of course albelL Lhe brook was
beslde us So we wenL on an hour longer We saw waLer Lhen buL nowhere ln all Lhe wasLe around
was Lhere a fooL of shade and we were scorchlng Lo deaLh Llke unLo Lhe shadow of a greaL rock ln
a weary land noLhlng ln Lhe 8lble ls more beauLlful Lhan LhaL and surely Lhere ls no place we have
wandered Lo LhaL ls able Lo glve lL such Louchlng expresslon as Lhls bllsLerlng naked Lreeless land

Pere you do noL sLop [usL when you please buL when you can We found waLer buL no shade We
Lraveled on and found a Lree aL lasL buL no waLer We resLed and lunched and came on Lo Lhls
place Aln Mellahah (Lhe boys call lL 8aldwlnsvllle) lL was a very shorL days run buL Lhe dragoman
does noL wanL Lo go furLher and has lnvenLed a plauslble lle abouL Lhe counLry beyond Lhls belng
lnfesLed by feroclous Arabs who would make sleeplng ln Lhelr mldsL a dangerous pasLlme Well
Lhey oughL Lo be dangerous 1hey carry a rusLy old weaLherbeaLen fllnLlock gun wlLh a barrel LhaL
ls longer Lhan Lhemselves lL has no slghLs on lL lL wlll noL carry farLher Lhan a brlckbaL and ls noL
half so cerLaln And Lhe greaL sash Lhey wear ln many a fold around Lhelr walsLs has Lwo or Lhree
absurd old horseplsLols ln lL LhaL are rusLy


483


from eLernal dlsuse weapons LhaL would hang flre [usL abouL long enough for you Lo walk ouL of
range and Lhen bursL and blow Lhe Arabs head off Lxceedlngly dangerous Lhese sons of Lhe deserL
are

lL used Lo make my blood run cold Lo read Wm C Crlmes halrbreadLh escapes from 8edoulns buL
l Lhlnk l could read Lhem now wlLhouL a Lremor Pe never sald he was aLLacked by 8edoulns l
belleve or was ever LreaLed unclvllly buL Lhen ln abouL every oLher chapLer he dlscovered Lhem
approachlng any how and he had a bloodcurdllng fashlon of worklng up Lhe perll and of
wonderlng how hls relaLlons far away would feel could Lhey see Lhelr poor wanderlng boy wlLh hls
weary feeL and hls dlm eyes ln such fearful danger and of Lhlnklng for Lhe lasL Llme of Lhe old
homesLead and Lhe dear old church and Lhe cow and Lhose Lhlngs and of flnally sLralghLenlng hls
form Lo lLs uLmosL helghL ln Lhe saddle drawlng hls LrusLy revolver and Lhen dashlng Lhe spurs lnLo
Mohammed and sweeplng down upon Lhe feroclous enemy deLermlned Lo sell hls llfe as dearly as
posslble 1rue Lhe 8edoulns never dld any Lhlng Lo hlm when he arrlved and never had any lnLenLlon
of dolng any Lhlng Lo hlm ln Lhe flrsL place and wondered


484


whaL ln Lhe mlschlef he was maklng all LhaL Lodo abouL buL sLlll l could noL dlvesL myself of Lhe
ldea somehow LhaL a frlghLful perll had been escaped Lhrough LhaL mans daredevll bravery and so
l never could read abouL Wm C Crlmes 8edoulns and sleep comforLably afLerward 8uL l belleve
Lhe 8edoulns Lo be a fraud now l have seen Lhe monsLer and l can ouLrun hlm l shall never be
afrald of hls darlng Lo sLand behlnd hls own gun and dlscharge lL


AbouL flfLeen hundred years before ChrlsL Lhls campground of ours by Lhe WaLers of Merom was
Lhe scene of one of !oshuas exLermlnaLlng baLLles !abln klng of Pazor (up yonder above uan)
called all Lhe shelks abouL hlm LogeLher wlLh Lhelr hosLs Lo make ready for lsraels Lerrlble Ceneral
who was approachlng


And when all Lhese klngs were meL LogeLher Lhey came and plLched LogeLher by Lhe WaLers of
Merom Lo flghL agalnsL lsrael
And Lhey wenL ouL Lhey and all Lhelr hosLs wlLh Lhem much people even as Lhe sand LhaL ls upon
Lhe seashore for mulLlLude eLc

8uL !oshua fell upon Lhem and uLLerly desLroyed Lhem rooL and branch 1haL was hls usual pollcy
ln war Pe never lefL any chance for newspaper conLroversles abouL who won Lhe baLLle Pe made
Lhls valley so quleL now a reeklng slaughLerpen

Somewhere ln Lhls parL of Lhe counLry l do noL know exacLly where lsrael foughL anoLher
bloody baLLle a hundred years laLer ueborah Lhe propheLess Lold 8arak Lo Lake Len Lhousand men
and sally forLh agalnsL anoLher klng !abln who had been dolng someLhlng 8arak came down from
MounL 1abor LwenLy or LwenLyflve mlles from here and gave baLLle Lo !ablns forces who were ln
command of Slsera 8arak won Lhe flghL and whlle he was maklng Lhe vlcLory compleLe by Lhe usual
meLhod of exLermlnaLlng Lhe remnanL of Lhe defeaLed hosL Slsera fled away on fooL and when he
was nearly exhausLed by faLlgue and LhlrsL one !ael a woman he seems Lo have been acqualnLed
wlLh lnvlLed hlm Lo come lnLo her LenL and resL hlmself 1he weary soldler acceded readlly enough


483


and !ael puL hlm Lo bed Pe sald he was very LhlrsLy and asked hls generous preserver Lo geL hlm a
cup of waLer She broughL hlm some mllk and he drank of lL graLefully and lay down agaln Lo forgeL
ln pleasanL dreams hls losL baLLle and hls humbled prlde resenLly when he was asleep she came
sofLly ln wlLh a hammer and drove a hldeous LenLpen down Lhrough hls braln!

lor he was fasL asleep and weary So he dled Such ls Lhe Louchlng language of Lhe 8lble 1he
Song of ueborah and 8arak pralses !ael for Lhe memorable servlce she had rendered ln an exulLanL
sLraln


8lessed above women shall !ael Lhe wlfe of Peber Lhe kenlLe be blessed shall she be above women
ln Lhe LenL
Pe asked for waLer and she gave hlm mllk she broughL forLh buLLer ln a lordly dlsh
She puL her hand Lo Lhe nall and her rlghL hand Lo Lhe workmans hammer and wlLh Lhe hammer
she smoLe Slsera she smoLe off hls head when she had plerced and sLrlcken Lhrough hls Lemples
AL her feeL he bowed he fell he lay down aL her feeL he bowed he fell where he bowed Lhere he
fell down dead

SLlrrlng scenes llke Lhese occur ln Lhls valley no more 1here ls noL a sollLary vlllage LhroughouL lLs
whole exLenL noL for LhlrLy mlles ln elLher dlrecLlon 1here are Lwo or Lhree small clusLers of
8edouln LenLs buL noL a slngle permanenL hablLaLlon Cne may rlde Len mlles hereabouLs and noL
see Len human belngs

1o Lhls reglon one of Lhe prophecles ls applled


l wlll brlng Lhe land lnLo desolaLlon and your enemles whlch dwell Lhereln shall be asLonlshed aL lL
And l wlll scaLLer you among Lhe heaLhen and l wlll draw ouL a sword afLer you and your land shall
be desolaLe and your clLles wasLe

no man can sLand here by deserLed Aln Mellahah and say Lhe prophecy has noL been fulfllled

ln a verse from Lhe 8lble whlch l have quoLed above occurs Lhe phrase all Lhese klngs lL
aLLracLed my aLLenLlon ln a momenL because lL carrles Lo my mlnd such a vasLly dlfferenL


486


slgnlflcance from whaL lL always dld aL home l can see easlly enough LhaL lf l wlsh Lo proflL by Lhls
Lour and come Lo a correcL undersLandlng of Lhe maLLers of lnLeresL connecLed wlLh lL l musL
sLudlously and falLhfully unlearn a greaL many Lhlngs l have somehow absorbed concernlng
alesLlne l musL begln a sysLem of reducLlon Llke my grapes whlch Lhe sples bore ouL of Lhe
romlsed Land l have goL every Lhlng ln alesLlne on Loo large a scale Some of my ldeas were wlld
enough 1he word alesLlne always broughL Lo my mlnd a vague suggesLlon of a counLry as large as
Lhe unlLed SLaLes l do noL know why buL such was Lhe case l suppose lL was because l could noL
concelve of a small counLry havlng so large a hlsLory l Lhlnk l was a llLLle surprlsed Lo flnd LhaL Lhe
grand SulLan of 1urkey was a man of only ordlnary slze l musL Lry Lo reduce my ldeas of alesLlne Lo
a more reasonable shape Cne geLs large lmpresslons ln boyhood someLlmes whlch he has Lo flghL
agalnsL all hls llfe All Lhese klngs When l used Lo read LhaL ln Sunday School lL suggesLed Lo me
Lhe several klngs of such counLrles as Lngland lrance Spaln Cermany 8ussla eLc arrayed ln
splendld robes ablaze wlLh [ewels marchlng ln grave processlon wlLh scepLres of gold ln Lhelr hands
and flashlng crowns upon Lhelr heads 8uL here ln Aln Mellahah afLer comlng Lhrough Syrla and
afLer glvlng serlous sLudy Lo Lhe characLer and cusLoms of Lhe counLry Lhe phrase all Lhese klngs
loses lLs grandeur lL suggesLs only a parcel of peLLy chlefs lllclad and lllcondlLloned savages much
llke our lndlans who llved ln full slghL of each oLher and whose klngdoms were large when Lhey
were flve mlles square and conLalned Lwo Lhousand souls 1he comblned monarchles of Lhe LhlrLy
klngs desLroyed by !oshua on one of hls famous campalgns only covered an area abouL equal Lo
four of our counLles of ordlnary slze 1he poor old shelk we saw aL Cesarea hlllppl wlLh hls ragged
band of a hundred followers would have been called a klng ln Lhose anclenL Llmes


lL ls seven ln Lhe mornlng and as we are ln Lhe counLry Lhe grass oughL Lo be sparkllng wlLh dew
Lhe flowers enrlchlng


487


Lhe alr wlLh Lhelr fragrance and Lhe blrds slnglng ln Lhe Lrees 8uL alas Lhere ls no dew here nor
flowers nor blrds nor Lrees 1here ls a plaln and an unshaded lake and beyond Lhem some barren
mounLalns 1he LenLs are Lumbllng Lhe Arabs are quarrellng llke dogs and caLs as usual Lhe
campground ls sLrewn wlLh packages and bundles Lhe labor of packlng Lhem upon Lhe backs of Lhe
mules ls progresslng wlLh greaL acLlvlLy Lhe horses are saddled Lhe umbrellas are ouL and ln Len
mlnuLes we shall mounL and Lhe long processlon wlll move agaln 1he whlLe clLy of Lhe Mellahah
resurrecLed for a momenL ouL of Lhe dead cenLurles wlll have dlsappeared agaln and lefL no slgn



461 1he rallroad has been compleLed slnce Lhe above was wrlLLen
ChapLer 47
CPA1L8 xLvll



488



WL Lraversed some mlles of desolaLe counLry whose soll ls rlch enough buL ls glven over wholly Lo
weeds a sllenL mournful expanse whereln we saw only Lhree persons Arabs wlLh noLhlng on
buL a long coarse shlrL llke Lhe Lowllnen shlrLs whlch used Lo form Lhe only summer garmenL of
llLLle negro boys on SouLhern planLaLlons Shepherds Lhey were and Lhey charmed Lhelr flocks wlLh
Lhe LradlLlonal shepherds plpe a reed lnsLrumenL LhaL made muslc as exqulslLely lnfernal as Lhese
same Arabs creaLe when Lhey slng

ln Lhelr plpes llngered no echo of Lhe wonderful muslc Lhe shepherd forefaLhers heard ln Lhe lalns
of 8eLhlehem whaL Llme Lhe angels sang eace on earLh good wlll Lo men

arL of Lhe ground we came over was noL ground aL all buL rocks creamcolored rocks worn
smooLh as lf by waLer wlLh seldom an edge or a corner on Lhem buL scooped ouL honeycombed
bored ouL wlLh eyeholes and Lhus wroughL lnLo all manner of qualnL shapes among whlch Lhe
uncouLh lmlLaLlon of skulls was frequenL Cver Lhls parL of Lhe rouLe were occaslonal remalns of an
old 8oman road llke Lhe Applan Way whose pavlngsLones sLlll clung Lo Lhelr places wlLh 8oman
LenaclLy

Cray llzards Lhose helrs of ruln of sepulchres and desolaLlon gllded ln and ouL among Lhe rocks or
lay sLlll and sunned Lhemselves Where prosperlLy has relgned and fallen where glory has flamed
and gone ouL where beauLy has dwelL and passed away where gladness was and sorrow ls where
Lhe pomp of llfe has been and sllence and deaLh brood ln lLs hlgh


489


places Lhere Lhls repLlle makes hls home and mocks aL human vanlLy Pls coaL ls Lhe color of ashes
and ashes are Lhe symbol of hopes LhaL have perlshed of asplraLlons LhaL came Lo noughL of loves
LhaL are burled lf he could speak he would say 8ulld Lemples l wlll lord lL ln Lhelr rulns bulld
palaces l wlll lnhablL Lhem erecL emplres l wlll lnherlL Lhem bury your beauLlful l wlll waLch Lhe
worms aL Lhelr work and you who sLand here and morallze over me l wlll crawl over your corpse aL
Lhe lasL


A few anLs were ln Lhls deserL place buL merely Lo spend Lhe summer 1hey broughL Lhelr
provlslons from Aln Mellahah eleven mlles

!ack ls noL very well Loday lL ls easy Lo see buL boy as he ls he ls Loo much of a man Lo speak of lL
Pe exposed hlmself Lo Lhe sun Loo much yesLerday buL slnce lL came of hls earnesL deslre Lo learn
and Lo make Lhls [ourney as useful as Lhe opporLunlLles wlll allow no one seeks Lo dlscourage hlm by
faulLflndlng We mlssed hlm an hour from Lhe camp and Lhen found hlm some dlsLance away by
Lhe edge of a brook


490


and wlLh no umbrella Lo proLecL hlm from Lhe flerce sun lf he had been used Lo golng wlLhouL hls
umbrella lL would have been well enough of course buL he was noL Pe was [usL ln Lhe acL of
Lhrowlng a clod aL a mudLurLle whlch was sunnlng lLself on a small log ln Lhe brook We sald

uonL do LhaL !ack WhaL do you wanL Lo harm hlm for? WhaL has he done?

Well Lhen l wonL klll hlm buL l oughL Lo because he ls a fraud

We asked hlm why buL he sald lL was no maLLer We asked hlm why once or Lwlce as we walked
back Lo Lhe camp buL he sLlll sald lL was no maLLer 8uL laLe aL nlghL when he was slLLlng ln a
LhoughLful mood on Lhe bed we asked hlm agaln and he sald

Well lL donL maLLer l donL mlnd lL now buL l dld noL llke lL Loday you know because l donL Lell
any Lhlng LhaL lsnL so and l donL Lhlnk Lhe Colonel oughL Lo elLher 8uL he dld he Lold us aL prayers
ln Lhe llgrlms LenL lasL nlghL and he seemed as lf he was readlng lL ouL of Lhe 8lble Loo abouL Lhls
counLry flowlng wlLh mllk and honey and abouL Lhe volce of Lhe LurLle belng heard ln Lhe land l
LhoughL LhaL was drawlng lL a llLLle sLrong abouL Lhe LurLles any how buL l asked Mr Church lf lL
was so and he sald lL was and whaL Mr Church Lells me l belleve 8uL l saL Lhere and waLched LhaL
LurLle nearly an hour Loday and l almosL burned up ln Lhe sun buL l never heard hlm slng l belleve l
sweaLed a double handful of sweaL l know l dld because lL goL ln my eyes and lL was runnlng
down over my nose all Lhe Llme and


491


you know my panLs are LlghLer Lhan any body elses arls foollshness and Lhe buckskln seaL of
Lhem goL weL wlLh sweaL and Lhen goL dry agaln and began Lo draw up and plnch and Lear loose lL
was awful buL l never heard hlm slng llnally l sald 1hls ls a fraud LhaL ls whaL lL ls lL ls a fraud
and lf l had had any sense l mlghL have known a cursed mudLurLle couldnL slng And Lhen l sald l
donL wlsh Lo be hard on Lhls fellow and l wlll [usL glve hlm Len mlnuLes Lo commence Len mlnuLes
and Lhen lf he donL down goes hls bulldlng 8uL he dldnL commence you know l had sLald Lhere all
LhaL Llme Lhlnklng may be he mlghL preLLy soon because he kepL on ralslng hls head up and leLLlng
lL down and drawlng Lhe skln over hls eyes for a mlnuLe and Lhen openlng Lhem ouL agaln as lf he
was Lrylng Lo sLudy up someLhlng Lo slng buL [usL as Lhe Len mlnuLes were up and l was all beaL ouL
and bllsLered he lald hls blamed head down on a knoL and wenL fasL asleep


lL was a llLLle hard afLer you had walLed so long

l should Lhlnk so l sald Well lf you wonL slng


492


you shanL sleep any way and lf you fellows had leL me alone l would have made hlm shln ouL of
Calllee qulcker Lhan any LurLle ever dld yeL 8uL lL lsnL any maLLer now leL lL go 1he skln ls all off
Lhe back of my neck

AbouL Len ln Lhe mornlng we halLed aL !osephs lL 1hls ls a rulned khan of Lhe Mlddle Ages ln one
of whose slde courLs ls a greaL walled and arched plL wlLh waLer ln lL and Lhls plL one LradlLlon says
ls Lhe one !osephs breLhren casL hlm lnLo A more auLhenLlc LradlLlon alded by Lhe geography of Lhe
counLry places Lhe plL ln uoLhan some Lwo days [ourney from here Powever slnce Lhere are many
who belleve ln Lhls presenL plL as Lhe Lrue one lL has lLs lnLeresL

lL ls hard Lo make a cholce of Lhe mosL beauLlful passage ln a book whlch ls so gemmed wlLh
beauLlful passages as Lhe 8lble buL lL ls cerLaln LhaL noL many Lhlngs wlLhln lLs llds may Lake rank
above Lhe exqulslLe sLory of !oseph Who LaughL Lhose anclenL wrlLers Lhelr slmpllclLy of language
Lhelr fellclLy of expresslon Lhelr paLhos and above all Lhelr faculLy of slnklng Lhemselves enLlrely
ouL of slghL of Lhe reader and maklng Lhe narraLlve sLand ouL alone and seem Lo Lell lLself?
Shakspeare ls always presenL when one reads hls book Macaulay ls presenL when we follow Lhe
march of hls sLaLely senLences buL Lhe Cld 1esLamenL wrlLers are hldden from vlew

lf Lhe plL l have been speaklng of ls Lhe rlghL one a scene Lransplred Lhere long ages ago whlch ls
famlllar Lo us all ln plcLures 1he sons of !acob had been pasLurlng Lhelr flocks near Lhere 1helr
faLher grew uneasy aL Lhelr long absence and senL !oseph hls favorlLe Lo see lf any Lhlng had gone
wrong wlLh Lhem Pe Lraveled slx or seven days [ourney he was only sevenLeen years old and boy
llke he Lolled Lhrough LhaL long sLreLch of Lhe vllesL rocklesL dusLlesL counLry ln Asla arrayed ln Lhe
prlde of hls hearL hls beauLlful clawhammer coaL of many colors !oseph was Lhe favorlLe and LhaL
was one crlme ln Lhe eyes of hls breLhren he had dreamed dreams and lnLerpreLed Lhem Lo
foreshadow hls elevaLlon far above all hls famlly ln Lhe far fuLure and LhaL was anoLher he was
dressed well and had doubLless dlsplayed Lhe


493


harmless vanlLy of youLh ln keeplng Lhe facL promlnenLly before hls broLhers 1hese were crlmes hls
elders freLLed over among Lhemselves and proposed Lo punlsh when Lhe opporLunlLy should offer
When Lhey saw hlm comlng up from Lhe Sea of Calllee Lhey recognlzed hlm and were glad 1hey
sald Lo here ls Lhls dreamer leL us klll hlm 8uL 8euben pleaded for hls llfe and Lhey spared lL
8uL Lhey selzed Lhe boy and sLrlpped Lhe haLed coaL from hls back and pushed hlm lnLo Lhe plL 1hey
lnLended Lo leL hlm dle Lhere buL 8euben lnLended Lo llberaLe hlm secreLly Powever whlle 8euben
was away for a llLLle whlle Lhe breLhren sold !oseph Lo some lshmaellLlsh merchanLs who were
[ourneylng Lowards LgypL Such ls Lhe hlsLory of Lhe plL And Lhe selfsame plL ls Lhere ln LhaL place
even Lo Lhls day and Lhere lL wlll remaln unLll Lhe nexL deLachmenL of lmagebreakers and Lomb
desecraLers arrlves from Lhe Cuaker ClLy excurslon and Lhey wlll lnfalllbly dlg lL up and carry lL away
wlLh Lhem lor behold ln Lhem ls no reverence for Lhe solemn monumenLs of Lhe pasL and
whlLhersoever Lhey go Lhey desLroy and spare noL


!oseph became rlch dlsLlngulshed powerful as Lhe 8lble expresses lL lord over all Lhe land of
LgypL !oseph was Lhe real klng Lhe sLrengLh Lhe braln of Lhe monarchy Lhough haraoh held Lhe
LlLle !oseph ls one of Lhe Lruly greaL men of Lhe Cld 1esLamenL And he was Lhe noblesL and Lhe
manllesL save Lsau Why shall we noL say a good word for Lhe prlncely 8edouln? 1he only crlme LhaL
can be broughL agalnsL hlm ls LhaL he was unforLunaLe Why musL every body pralse !osephs greaL
hearLed generoslLy Lo hls cruel breLhren wlLhouL sLlnL of fervenL language and fllng only a relucLanL
bone of pralse Lo Lsau for hls sLlll subllmer generoslLy Lo Lhe broLher who had wronged hlm? !acob
Look advanLage of Lsaus consumlng hunger Lo rob hlm of hls blrLhrlghL and Lhe greaL honor and
conslderaLlon LhaL belonged Lo Lhe poslLlon by Lreachery and falsehood he robbed hlm of hls
faLhers blesslng he made of hlm a sLranger ln hls home and a wanderer ?eL afLer LwenLy years had
passed away and !acob meL Lsau


494


and fell aL hls feeL quaklng wlLh fear and begglng plLeously Lo be spared Lhe punlshmenL he knew he
deserved whaL dld LhaL magnlflcenL savage do? Pe fell upon hls neck and embraced hlm! When
!acob who was lncapable of comprehendlng noblllLy of characLer sLlll doubLlng sLlll fearlng
lnslsLed upon flndlng grace wlLh my lord by Lhe brlbe of a presenL of caLLle whaL dld Lhe gorgeous
son of Lhe deserL say?

nay l have enough my broLher keep LhaL Lhou hasL unLo Lhyself!

Lsau found !acob rlch beloved by wlves and chlldren and Lravellng ln sLaLe wlLh servanLs herds of
caLLle and Lralns of camels buL he hlmself was sLlll Lhe uncourLed ouLcasL Lhls broLher had made
hlm AfLer LhlrLeen years of romanLlc mysLery Lhe breLhren who had wronged !oseph came
sLrangers ln a sLrange land hungry and humble Lo buy a llLLle food and belng summoned Lo a
palace charged wlLh crlme Lhey beheld ln lLs owner Lhelr wronged broLher Lhey were Lrembllng
beggars he Lhe lord of a mlghLy emplre ! WhaL !oseph LhaL ever llved would have Lhrown away
such a chance Lo show off? Who sLands flrsL ouLcasL Lsau forglvlng !acob ln prosperlLy or !oseph
on a klngs Lhrone forglvlng Lhe ragged Lremblers whose happy rascallLy placed hlm Lhere?

!usL before we came Lo !osephs lL we had ralsed a hlll and Lhere a few mlles before us wlLh
noL a Lree or a shrub Lo lnLerrupL Lhe vlew lay a vlslon whlch mllllons of worshlpers ln Lhe far lands
of Lhe earLh would glve half Lhelr possesslons Lo see Lhe sacred Sea of Calllee!

1herefore we Larrled only a shorL Llme aL Lhe plL We resLed Lhe horses and ourselves and felL for a
few mlnuLes Lhe blessed shade of Lhe anclenL bulldlngs We were ouL of waLer buL Lhe Lwo or Lhree
scowllng Arabs wlLh Lhelr long guns who were ldllng abouL Lhe place sald Lhey had none and LhaL
Lhere was none ln Lhe vlclnlLy 1hey knew Lhere was a llLLle bracklsh waLer ln Lhe plL buL Lhey
veneraLed a place made sacred by Lhelr ancesLors lmprlsonmenL Loo much Lo be wllllng Lo see
ChrlsLlan dogs drlnk from lL 8uL lerguson Lled rags and handkerchlefs LogeLher Llll he made a rope
long enough Lo


493


lower a vessel Lo Lhe boLLom and we drank and Lhen rode on and ln a shorL Llme we dlsmounLed
on Lhose shores whlch Lhe feeL of Lhe Savlour have made holy ground


AL noon we Look a swlm ln Lhe Sea of Calllee a blessed prlvllege ln Lhls roasLlng cllmaLe and
Lhen lunched under a neglecLed old flgLree aL Lhe founLaln Lhey call AlneL1ln a hundred yards
from rulned Capernaum Lvery rlvuleL LhaL gurgles ouL of Lhe rocks and sands of Lhls parL of Lhe
world ls dubbed wlLh Lhe LlLle of founLaln and people famlllar wlLh Lhe Pudson Lhe greaL lakes
and Lhe Mlsslsslppl fall lnLo LransporLs of admlraLlon over Lhem and exhausL Lhelr powers of
composlLlon ln wrlLlng Lhelr pralses lf all Lhe poeLry and nonsense LhaL have been dlscharged upon
Lhe founLalns and Lhe bland scenery of Lhls reglon were collecLed ln a book lL would make a mosL
valuable volume Lo burn

uurlng luncheon Lhe pllgrlm enLhuslasLs of our parLy who had been so llghLhearLed and so happy
ever slnce Lhey Louched holy ground LhaL Lhey dld llLLle buL muLLer lncoherenL rhapsodles could
scarcely eaL so anxlous were Lhey Lo Lake shlpplng and sall ln very person


496


upon Lhe waLers LhaL had borne Lhe vessels of Lhe AposLles 1helr anxleLy grew and Lhelr exclLemenL
augmenLed wlLh every fleeLlng momenL unLll my fears were aroused and l began Lo have mlsglvlngs
LhaL ln Lhelr presenL condlLlon Lhey mlghL break recklessly loose from all conslderaLlons of prudence
and buy a whole fleeL of shlps Lo sall ln lnsLead of hlrlng a slngle one for an hour as quleL folk are
wonL Lo do l Lrembled Lo Lhlnk of Lhe rulned purses Lhls days performances mlghL resulL ln l could
noL help reflecLlng bodlngly upon Lhe lnLemperaLe zeal wlLh whlch mlddleaged men are apL Lo
surfelL Lhemselves upon a seducLlve folly whlch Lhey have LasLed for Lhe flrsL Llme And yeL l dld noL
feel LhaL l had a rlghL Lo be surprlsed aL Lhe sLaLe of Lhlngs whlch was glvlng me so much concern
1hese men had been LaughL from lnfancy Lo revere almosL Lo worshlp Lhe holy places whereon
Lhelr happy eyes were resLlng now lor many and many a year Lhls very plcLure had vlslLed Lhelr
LhoughLs by day and floaLed Lhrough Lhelr dreams by nlghL 1o sLand before lL ln Lhe flesh Lo see lL
as Lhey saw lL now Lo sall upon Lhe hallowed sea and klss Lhe holy soll LhaL compassed lL abouL
Lhese were asplraLlons Lhey had cherlshed whlle a generaLlon dragged lLs lagglng seasons by and lefL
lLs furrows ln Lhelr faces and lLs frosLs upon Lhelr halr 1o look upon Lhls plcLure and sall upon Lhls
sea Lhey had forsaken home and lLs ldols and [ourneyed Lhousands and Lhousands of mlles ln
wearlness and LrlbulaLlon WhaL wonder LhaL Lhe sordld llghLs of workday prudence should pale
before Lhe glory of a hope llke Lhelrs ln Lhe full splendor of lLs frulLlon? LeL Lhem squander mllllons! l
sald who speaks of money aL a Llme llke Lhls?

ln Lhls frame of mlnd l followed as fasL as l could Lhe eager fooLsLeps of Lhe pllgrlms and sLood
upon Lhe shore of Lhe lake and swelled wlLh haL and volce Lhe franLlc hall Lhey senL afLer Lhe shlp
LhaL was speedlng by lL was a success 1he Lollers of Lhe sea ran ln and beached Lhelr barque !oy saL
upon every counLenance

Pow much? ask hlm how much lerguson! how much Lo Lake us all elghL of us and you Lo
8eLhsalda yonder


497


and Lo Lhe mouLh of !ordan and Lo Lhe place where Lhe swlne ran down lnLo Lhe sea qulck! and
we wanL Lo coasL around every where every where! all day long! l could sall a year ln Lhese
waLers! and Lell hlm well sLop aL Magdala and flnlsh aL 1lberlas! ask hlm how much? any Lhlng
any Lhlng whaLever! Lell hlm we donL care whaL Lhe expense ls! l sald Lo myself l knew how lL
would be


lerguson (lnLerpreLlng) Pe says Lwo napoleons elghL dollars

Cne or Lwo counLenances fell 1hen a pause

1oo much! well glve hlm one!

l never shall know how lL was l shudder yeL when l Lhlnk how Lhe place ls glven Lo mlracles buL
ln a slngle lnsLanL of Llme as lL seemed Lo me LhaL shlp was LwenLy paces from Lhe shore and
speedlng away llke a frlghLened Lhlng! LlghL cresLfallen creaLures sLood upon Lhe shore and C Lo
Lhlnk of lL! Lhls Lhls afLer all LhaL overmasLerlng ecsLacy! Ch shameful shameful endlng afLer
such unseemly boasLlng! lL was


498


Loo much llke Po! leL me aL hlm! followed by a prudenL 1wo of you hold hlm one can hold me!

lnsLanLly Lhere was walllng and gnashlng of LeeLh ln Lhe camp1he Lwo napoleons were offered
more lf necessary andpllgrlms and dragoman shouLed Lhemselves hoarse wlLh pleadlngs Lo
LhereLreaLlng boaLmen Lo come back 8uL Lhey salled serenely away andpald no furLher heed Lo
pllgrlms who had dreamed all Lhelr llves ofsome day sklmmlng over Lhe sacred waLers of Calllee and
llsLenlng LolLs hallowed sLory ln Lhe whlsperlngs of lLs waves and had [ourneyedcounLless leagues Lo
do lL and and Lhen concluded LhaL Lhe farewas Loo hlgh lmperLlnenL Mohammedan Arabs Lo
Lhlnk such Lhlngs ofgenLlemen of anoLher falLh!

Well Lhere was noLhlng Lo do buL [usL submlL and forego Lhe prlvllege of voyaglng on CenessareL
afLer comlng half around Lhe globe Lo LasLe LhaL pleasure 1here was a Llme when Lhe Savlour LaughL
here LhaL boaLs were plenLy among Lhe flshermen of Lhe coasLs buL boaLs and flshermen boLh are
gone now and old !osephus had a fleeL of menofwar ln Lhese waLers elghLeen cenLurles ago a
hundred and LhlrLy bold canoes buL Lhey also have passed away and lefL no slgn 1hey baLLle here
no more by sea and Lhe commerclal marlne of Calllee numbers only Lwo small shlps [usL of a
paLLern wlLh Lhe llLLle sklffs Lhe dlsclples knew Cne was losL Lo us for good Lhe oLher was mlles
away and far ouL of hall So we mounLed Lhe horses and rode grlmly on Loward Magdala canLerlng
along ln Lhe edge of Lhe waLer for wanL of Lhe means of passlng over lL

Pow Lhe pllgrlms abused each oLher! Lach sald lL was Lhe oLhers faulL and each ln Lurn denled lL
no word was spoken by Lhe slnners even Lhe mlldesL sarcasm mlghL have been dangerous aL such
a Llme Slnners LhaL have been kepL down and had examples held up Lo Lhem and suffered frequenL
lecLures and been so puL upon ln a moral way and ln Lhe maLLer of golng slow and belng serlous and
boLLllng up slang and so crowded ln regard Lo Lhe maLLer of belng proper and always and forever
behavlng LhaL Lhelr llves have become a burden


499


Lo Lhem would noL lag behlnd pllgrlms aL such a Llme as Lhls and wlnk furLlvely and be [oyful and
commlL oLher such crlmes because lL would noL occur Lo Lhem Lo do lL CLherwlse Lhey would 8uL
Lhey dld do lL Lhough and lL dld Lhem a world of good Lo hear Lhe pllgrlms abuse each oLher Loo
We Look an unworLhy saLlsfacLlon ln seelng Lhem fall ouL now and Lhen because lL showed LhaL
Lhey were only poor human people llke us afLer all


So we all rode down Lo Magdala whlle Lhe gnashlng of LeeLh waxed and waned by Lurns and harsh
words Lroubled Lhe holy calm of Calllee

LesL any man Lhlnk l mean Lo be lllnaLured when l Lalk abouL our pllgrlms as l have been Lalklng l
wlsh Lo say ln all slncerlLy LhaL l do noL l would noL llsLen Lo lecLures from men l dld noL llke and
could noL respecL and none of Lhese can say l ever Look Lhelr lecLures unklndly or was resLlve under
Lhe lnfllcLlon or falled Lo Lry Lo proflL by whaL Lhey sald Lo me 1hey are beLLer men Lhan l am l can
say LhaL honesLly Lhey are good frlends of mlne Loo and besldes lf Lhey dld noL wlsh Lo be sLlrred
up occaslonally ln prlnL why ln Lhe mlschlef dld Lhey Lravel wlLh me? 1hey knew me 1hey knew my
llberal way LhaL l llke Lo glve and Lake when lL ls for me Lo glve and oLher people Lo Lake When
one of Lhem LhreaLened Lo leave me ln uamascus when l had Lhe cholera he had no real ldea of
dolng lL l know hls passlonaLe naLure and Lhe good lmpulses LhaL underlle lL And dld l noL
overhear Church anoLher pllgrlm say he dld noL care who wenL or who sLald he would sLand by me
Llll l walked ouL of uamascus on my own feeL or was carrled ouL ln a coffln lf lL was a year? And do l
noL lnclude Church every Llme l abuse Lhe pllgrlms and would l be llkely Lo speak lllnaLuredly of
hlm ? l wlsh Lo sLlr Lhem up and make Lhem healLhy LhaL ls all

We had lefL Capernaum behlnd us lL was only a shapeless ruln lL bore no semblance Lo a Lown
and had noLhlng abouL lL Lo suggesL LhaL lL had ever been a Lown 8uL all desolaLe and unpeopled as
lL was lL was lllusLrlous ground lrom lL


300


sprang LhaL Lree of ChrlsLlanlLy whose broad arms overshadow so many dlsLanL lands Loday AfLer
ChrlsL was LempLed of Lhe devll ln Lhe deserL he came here and began hls Leachlngs and durlng Lhe
Lhree or four years he llved afLerward Lhls place was hls home almosL alLogeLher Pe began Lo heal
Lhe slck and hls fame soon spread so wldely LhaL sufferers came from Syrla and beyond !ordan and
even from !erusalem several days [ourney away Lo be cured of Lhelr dlseases Pere he healed Lhe
cenLurlons servanL and eLers moLherlnlaw and mulLlLudes of Lhe lame and Lhe bllnd and persons
possessed of devlls and here also he ralsed !alruss daughLer from Lhe dead Pe wenL lnLo a shlp
wlLh hls dlsclples and when Lhey roused hlm from sleep ln Lhe mldsL of a sLorm he quleLed Lhe
wlnds and lulled Lhe Lroubled sea Lo resL wlLh hls volce Pe passed over Lo Lhe oLher slde a few mlles
away and relleved Lwo men of devlls whlch passed lnLo some swlne AfLer hls reLurn he called
MaLLhew from Lhe recelpL of cusLoms performed some cures and creaLed scandal by eaLlng wlLh
publlcans and slnners 1hen he wenL heallng and Leachlng Lhrough Calllee and even [ourneyed Lo
1yre and Sldon Pe chose Lhe Lwelve dlsclples and senL Lhem abroad Lo preach Lhe new gospel Pe
worked mlracles ln 8eLhsalda and Chorazln vlllages Lwo or Lhree mlles from Capernaum lL was
near one of Lhem LhaL Lhe mlraculous drafL of flshes ls supposed Lo have been Laken and lL was ln
Lhe deserL places near Lhe oLher LhaL he fed Lhe Lhousands by Lhe mlracles of Lhe loaves and flshes
Pe cursed Lhem boLh and Capernaum also for noL repenLlng afLer all Lhe greaL works he had done
ln Lhelr mldsL and prophesled agalnsL Lhem 1hey are all ln rulns now whlch ls graLlfylng Lo Lhe
pllgrlms for as usual Lhey flL Lhe eLernal words of gods Lo Lhe evanescenL Lhlngs of Lhls earLh
ChrlsL lL ls more probable referred Lo Lhe people noL Lhelr shabby vlllages of wlgwams he sald lL
would be sad for Lhem aL Lhe day of [udgmenL and whaL buslness have mudhovels aL Lhe uay of
!udgmenL? lL would noL affecL Lhe prophecy ln Lhe leasL lL would nelLher prove lL or dlsprove lL lf
Lhese Lowns were splendld clLles now lnsLead of Lhe almosL


301


vanlshed rulns Lhey are ChrlsL vlslLed Magdala whlch ls near by Capernaum and he also vlslLed
Cesarea hlllppl Pe wenL up Lo hls old home aL nazareLh and saw hls broLhers !oses and !udas and
!ames and Slmon Lhose persons who belng own broLhers Lo !esus ChrlsL one would expecL Lo
hear menLloned someLlmes yeL who ever saw Lhelr names ln a newspaper or heard Lhem from a
pulplL? Who ever lnqulres whaL manner of youLhs Lhey were and wheLher Lhey slepL wlLh !esus
played wlLh hlm and romped abouL hlm quarreled wlLh hlm concernlng Loys and Lrlfles sLruck hlm
ln anger noL suspecLlng whaL he was? Who ever wonders whaL Lhey LhoughL when Lhey saw hlm
come back Lo nazareLh a celebrlLy and looked long aL hls unfamlllar face Lo make sure and Lhen
sald lL ls !esus? Who wonders whaL passed ln Lhelr mlnds when Lhey saw Lhls broLher (who was
only a broLher Lo Lhem however much he mlghL be Lo oLhers a mysLerlous sLranger who was a god
and had sLood face Lo face wlLh Cod above Lhe clouds) dolng sLrange mlracles wlLh crowds of
asLonlshed people for wlLnesses? Who wonders lf Lhe broLhers of !esus asked hlm Lo come home
wlLh Lhem and sald hls moLher and hls slsLers were grleved aL hls long absence and would be wlld
wlLh dellghL Lo see hls face agaln ? Who ever glves a LhoughL Lo Lhe slsLers of !esus aL all ? yeL he
had slsLers and memorles of Lhem musL have sLolen lnLo hls mlnd ofLen when he was lllLreaLed
among sLrangers when he was homeless and sald he had noL where Lo lay hls head when all
deserLed hlm even eLer and he sLood alone among hls enemles


ChrlsL dld few mlracles ln nazareLh and sLald buL a llLLle whlle 1he people sald 1hls Lhe Son of
Cod! Why hls faLher ls noLhlng buL a carpenLer We know Lhe famlly We see Lhem every day Are
noL hls broLhers named so and so and hls slsLers so and so and ls noL hls moLher Lhe person Lhey
call Mary ? 1hls ls absurd Pe dld noL curse hls home buL he shook lLs dusL from hls feeL and wenL
away

Capernaum lles close Lo Lhe edge of Lhe llLLle sea ln a small plaln some flve mlles long and a mlle or
Lwo wlde whlch ls mlldly adorned wlLh oleanders whlch look all Lhe beLLer conLrasLed


302


wlLh Lhe bald hllls and Lhe howllng deserLs whlch surround Lhem buL Lhey are noL as dellrlously
beauLlful as Lhe books palnL Lhem lf one be calm and resoluLe he can look upon Lhelr comellness
and llve


Cne of Lhe mosL asLonlshlng Lhlngs LhaL have yeL fallen under our observaLlon ls Lhe exceedlngly
small porLlon of Lhe earLh from whlch sprang Lhe now flourlshlng planL of ChrlsLlanlLy 1he longesL
[ourney our Savlour ever performed was from here Lo !erusalem abouL one hundred Lo one
hundred and LwenLy mlles 1he nexL longesL was from here Lo Sldon say abouL slxLy or sevenLy
mlles lnsLead of belng wlde aparL as Amerlcan appreclaLlon of dlsLances would naLurally suggesL
Lhe places made mosL parLlcularly celebraLed by Lhe presence of ChrlsL are nearly all rlghL here ln full
vlew and wlLhln cannonshoL of Capernaum Leavlng ouL Lwo or Lhree shorL [ourneys of Lhe Savlour
he spenL hls llfe preached hls gospel and performed hls mlracles wlLhln a compass no larger Lhan an
ordlnary counLy ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes lL ls as much as l can do Lo comprehend Lhls sLupefylng facL
Pow lL wears a man ouL Lo have Lo read up a hundred pages of hlsLory every Lwo or Lhree mlles for
verlly Lhe celebraLed locallLles of alesLlne occur LhaL close LogeLher Pow wearlly how
bewllderlngly Lhey swarm abouL your paLh!

ln due Llme we reached Lhe anclenL vlllage of Magdala
ChapLer 48
CPA1L8 xLvlll



303



MACuALA ls noL a beauLlful place lL ls Lhoroughly Syrlan and LhaL ls Lo say LhaL lL ls Lhoroughly
ugly and cramped squalld uncomforLable and fllLhy [usL Lhe sLyle of clLles LhaL have adorned Lhe
counLry slnce Adams Llme as all wrlLers have labored hard Lo prove and have succeeded 1he
sLreeLs of Magdala are any where from Lhree Lo slx feeL wlde and reeklng wlLh uncleanllness 1he
houses are from flve Lo seven feeL hlgh and all bullL upon one arblLrary plan Lhe ungraceful form
of a drygoods box 1he sldes are daubed wlLh a smooLh whlLe plasLer and LasLefully frescoed alofL
and alow wlLh dlsks of cameldung placed Lhere Lo dry 1hls glves Lhe edlflce Lhe romanLlc
appearance of havlng been rlddled wlLh cannonballs and lmparLs Lo lL a very warllke aspecL When
Lhe arLlsL has arranged hls maLerlals wlLh an eye Lo [usL proporLlon Lhe small and Lhe large flakes ln
alLernaLe rows and separaLed by carefullyconsldered lnLervals l know of noLhlng more cheerful Lo
look upon Lhan a splrlLed Syrlan fresco 1he flaL plasLered roof ls garnlshed by plcLuresque sLacks of
fresco maLerlals whlch havlng become Lhoroughly drled and cured are placed Lhere where lL wlll be
convenlenL lL ls used for fuel 1here ls no Llmber of any consequence ln alesLlne none aL all Lo
wasLe upon flres and nelLher are Lhere any mlnes of coal lf my descrlpLlon has been lnLelllglble
you wlll percelve now LhaL a square flaLroofed hovel neaLly frescoed wlLh lLs wallLops gallanLly
basLloned and LurreLed wlLh drled camelrefuse glves Lo a landscape a feaLure LhaL ls exceedlngly
fesLlve and plcLuresque especlally lf one ls


304


careful Lo remember Lo sLlck ln a caL wherever abouL Lhe premlses Lhere ls room for a caL Lo slL
1here are no wlndows Lo a Syrlan huL and no chlmneys When l used Lo read LhaL Lhey leL a bed
rldden man down Lhrough Lhe roof of a house ln Capernaum Lo geL hlm lnLo Lhe presence of Lhe
Savlour l generally had a LhreesLory brlck ln my mlnd and marveled LhaL Lhey dld noL break hls
neck wlLh Lhe sLrange experlmenL l percelve now however LhaL Lhey mlghL have Laken hlm by Lhe
heels and Lhrown hlm clear over Lhe house wlLhouL dlscommodlng hlm very much alesLlne ls noL
changed any slnce Lhose days ln manners cusLoms archlLecLure or people

As we rode lnLo Magdala noL a soul was vlslble 8uL Lhe rlng of Lhe horses hoofs roused Lhe sLupld
populaLlon and Lhey all came Lrooplng ouL old men and old women boys and glrls Lhe bllnd Lhe
crazy and Lhe crlppled all ln ragged solled and scanLy ralmenL and all ab[ecL beggars by naLure
lnsLlncL and educaLlon Pow Lhe vermlnLorLured vagabonds dld swarm! Pow Lhey showed Lhelr
scars and sores and plLeously polnLed Lo Lhelr malmed and crooked llmbs and begged wlLh Lhelr
pleadlng eyes for charlLy! We had lnvoked a splrlL we could noL lay 1hey hung Lo Lhe horsess Lalls
clung Lo Lhelr manes and Lhe sLlrrups closed ln on every alde ln scorn of dangerous hoofs and ouL
of Lhelr lnfldel LhroaLs wlLh one accord bursL an agonlzlng and mosL lnfernal chorus Powa[[l


303


bucksheesh! howa[[l bucksheesh! howa[[l bucksheesh! bucksheesh! bucksheesh! l never was ln a
sLorm llke LhaL before


As we pald Lhe bucksheesh ouL Lo soreeyed chlldren and brown buxom glrls wlLh repulslvely
LaLLooed llps and chlns we flled Lhrough Lhe Lown and by many an exqulslLe fresco Llll we came Lo a
bramblelnfesLed lnclosure and a 8omanlooklng ruln whlch had been Lhe verlLable dwelllng of SL
Mary Magdalene Lhe frlend and follower of !esus 1he gulde belleved lL and so dld l l could noL well
do oLherwlse wlLh Lhe house rlghL Lhere before my eyes as plaln as day 1he pllgrlms Look down
porLlons of Lhe fronL wall for speclmens as ls Lhelr honored cusLom and Lhen we deparLed

We are camped ln Lhls place now [usL wlLhln Lhe clLy walls of 1lberlas We wenL lnLo Lhe Lown
before nlghLfall and looked aL lLs people we cared noLhlng abouL lLs houses lLs people are besL
examlned aL a dlsLance 1hey are parLlcularly uncomely !ews Arabs and negroes Squalor and
poverLy are Lhe prlde of 1lberlas 1he young women wear Lhelr dower sLrung upon a sLrong wlre LhaL
curves downward from Lhe Lop of Lhe head Lo Lhe [aw 1urklsh sllver colns whlch Lhey have raked
LogeLher or lnherlLed MosL of Lhese maldens were noL wealLhy buL some few had been very klndly
dealL wlLh by forLune l saw helresses Lhere worLh ln Lhelr own rlghL worLh well l suppose l mlghL
venLure Lo say as much as nlne dollars and a half 8uL such cases are rare When you come across
one of Lhese she naLurally puLs on alrs She wlll noL ask for bucksheesh She wlll noL even permlL of
undue famlllarlLy She assumes a crushlng dlgnlLy and goes on serenely pracLlclng wlLh her flneLooLh
comb and quoLlng poeLry [usL Lhe same as lf you were noL presenL aL all Some people can noL sLand
prosperlLy

1hey say LhaL Lhe longnosed lanky dyspepLlclooklng bodysnaLchers wlLh Lhe lndescrlbable haLs
on and a long curl dangllng down ln fronL of each ear are Lhe old famlllar selfrlghLeous harlsees
we read of ln Lhe ScrlpLures verlly Lhey look lL !udglng merely by Lhelr general sLyle and wlLhouL


306


oLher evldence one mlghL easlly suspecL LhaL selfrlghLeousness was Lhelr speclalLy

lrom varlous auLhorlLles l have culled lnformaLlon concernlng 1lberlas lL was bullL by Perod
AnLlpas Lhe murderer of !ohn Lhe 8apLlsL and named afLer Lhe Lmperor 1lberlus lL ls belleved LhaL
lL sLands upon Lhe slLe of whaL musL have been ages ago a clLy of conslderable archlLecLural
preLenslons [udglng by Lhe flne porphyry plllars LhaL are scaLLered Lhrough 1lberlas and down Lhe
lake shore souLhward 1hese were fluLed once and yeL alLhough Lhe sLone ls abouL as hard as lron
Lhe fluLlngs are almosL worn away 1hese plllars are small and doubLless Lhe edlflces Lhey adorned
were dlsLlngulshed more for elegance Lhan grandeur 1hls modern Lown 1lberlas ls only
menLloned ln Lhe new 1esLamenL never ln Lhe Cld

1he Sanhedrlm meL here lasL and for Lhree hundred years


307


1lberlas was Lhe meLropolls of Lhe !ews ln alesLlne lL ls one of Lhe four holy clLles of Lhe lsraellLes
and ls Lo Lhem whaL Mecca ls Lo Lhe Mohammedan and !erusalem Lo Lhe ChrlsLlan lL has been Lhe
abldlng place of many learned and famous !ewlsh rabblns 1hey lle burled here and near Lhem lle
also LwenLyflve Lhousand of Lhelr falLh who Lraveled far Lo be near Lhem whlle Lhey llved and lle
wlLh Lhem when Lhey dled 1he greaL 8abbl 8en lsrael spenL Lhree years here ln Lhe early parL of Lhe
Lhlrd cenLury Pe ls dead now


1he celebraLed Sea of Calllee ls noL so large a sea as Lake 1ahoe481 by a good deal lL ls [usL
abouL LwoLhlrds as large And when we come Lo speak of beauLy Lhls sea ls no more Lo be
compared Lo 1ahoe Lhan a merldlan of longlLude ls Lo a ralnbow 1he dlm waLers of Lhls pool can noL
suggesL Lhe llmpld brllllancy of 1ahoe Lhese low shaven yellow hlllocks of rocks and sand so devold
of perspecLlve can noL suggesL Lhe grand peaks LhaL compass 1ahoe llke a wall and whose rlbbed
and chasmed fronLs are clad wlLh sLaLely plnes LhaL seem Lo grow small and smaller as Lhey cllmb Llll
one mlghL fancy Lhem reduced Lo weeds and shrubs far upward where Lhey [oln Lhe everlasLlng
snows Sllence and sollLude brood over 1ahoe and sllence and sollLude brood also over Lhls lake of
CenessareL 8uL Lhe sollLude of Lhe one ls as cheerful and fasclnaLlng as Lhe sollLude of Lhe oLher ls
dlsmal and repellanL

ln Lhe early mornlng one waLches Lhe sllenL baLLle of dawn and darkness upon Lhe waLers of 1ahoe
wlLh a placld lnLeresL buL when Lhe shadows sulk away and one by one Lhe hldden beauLles of Lhe
shore unfold Lhemselves ln Lhe full splendor of noon when Lhe sLlll surface ls belLed llke a ralnbow
wlLh broad bars of blue and green and whlLe half Lhe dlsLance from clrcumference Lo cenLre when
ln Lhe lazy summer afLernoon he lles ln a boaL far ouL Lo where Lhe dead blue of Lhe deep waLer
beglns and smokes Lhe plpe of peace and ldly wlnks aL Lhe


308


dlsLanL crags and paLches of snow from under hls capbrlm when Lhe boaL drlfLs shoreward Lo Lhe
whlLe waLer and he lolls over Lhe gunwale and gazes by Lhe hour down Lhrough Lhe crysLal depLhs
and noLes Lhe colors of Lhe pebbles and revlews Lhe flnny armles glldlng ln processlon a hundred
feeL below when aL nlghL he sees moon and sLars mounLaln rldges feaLhered wlLh plnes [uLLlng
whlLe capes bold promonLorles grand sweeps of rugged scenery Lopped wlLh bald gllmmerlng
peaks all magnlflcenLly plcLured ln Lhe pollshed mlrror of Lhe lake ln rlchesL sofLesL deLall Lhe
Lranqull lnLeresL LhaL was born wlLh Lhe mornlng deepens and deepens by sure degrees Llll lL
culmlnaLes aL lasL ln reslsLless fasclnaLlon!

lL ls sollLude for blrds and squlrrels on Lhe shore and flshes ln Lhe waLer are all Lhe creaLures LhaL
are near Lo make lL oLherwlse buL lL ls noL Lhe sorL of sollLude Lo make one dreary Come Lo Calllee
for LhaL lf Lhese unpeopled deserLs Lhese rusLy mounds of barrenness LhaL never never never do
shake Lhe glare from Lhelr harsh ouLllnes and fade and falnL lnLo vague perspecLlve LhaL melancholy
ruln of Capernaum Lhls sLupld vlllage of 1lberlas slumberlng under lLs slx funereal plumes of palms
yonder desolaLe decllvlLy where Lhe swlne of Lhe mlracle ran down lnLo Lhe sea and doubLless
LhoughL lL was beLLer Lo swallow a devll or Lwo and geL drowned lnLo Lhe bargaln Lhan have Lo llve
longer ln such a place Lhls cloudless bllsLerlng sky Lhls solemn sallless LlnLless lake reposlng
wlLhln lLs rlm of yellow hllls and low sLeep banks and looklng [usL as expresslonless and unpoeLlcal
(when we leave lLs subllme hlsLory ouL of Lhe quesLlon) as any meLropollLan reservolr ln
ChrlsLendom lf Lhese Lhlngs are noL food for rock me Lo sleep moLher none exlsL l Lhlnk

8uL l should noL offer Lhe evldence for Lhe prosecuLlon and leave Lhe defense unheard Wm C
Crlmes deposes as follows


We had Laken shlp Lo go over Lo Lhe oLher slde 1he sea was noL more Lhan slx mlles wlde Cf Lhe
beauLy of Lhe scene however l can noL say enough nor can l lmaglne where Lhose Lravelers carrled
Lhelr eyes who have descrlbed Lhe scenery of Lhe lake as Lame or unlnLeresLlng 1he flrsL greaL
characLerlsLlc of lL ls




309




Lhe deep basln ln whlch lL lles 1hls ls from Lhree Lo four hundred feeL deep on all sldes excepL aL Lhe
lower end and Lhe sharp slope of Lhe banks whlch are all of Lhe rlchesL green ls broken and
dlverslfled by Lhe wdys and waLercourses whlch work Lhelr way down Lhrough Lhe sldes of Lhe
basln formlng dark chasms or llghL sunny valleys near 1lberlas Lhese banks are rocky and anclenL
sepulchres open ln Lhem wlLh Lhelr doors Loward Lhe waLer 1hey selecLed grand spoLs as dld Lhe
LgypLlans of old for burlal places as lf Lhey deslgned LhaL when Lhe volce of Cod should reach Lhe
sleepers Lhey should walk forLh and open Lhelr eyes on scenes of glorlous beauLy Cn Lhe easL Lhe
wlld and desolaLe mounLalns conLrasL flnely wlLh Lhe deep blue lake and Loward Lhe norLh subllme
and ma[esLlc Permon looks down on Lhe sea llfLlng hls whlLe crown Lo heaven wlLh Lhe prlde of a
hlll LhaL has seen Lhe deparLlng fooLsLeps of a hundred generaLlons Cn Lhe norLheasL shore of Lhe
sea was a slngle Lree and Lhls ls Lhe only Lree of any slze vlslble from Lhe waLer of Lhe lake excepL a
few lonely palms ln Lhe clLy of 1lberlas and by lLs sollLary poslLlon aLLracLs more aLLenLlon Lhan
would a foresL 1he whole appearance of Lhe scene ls preclsely whaL we would expecL and deslre Lhe
scenery of CenessareL Lo be grand beauLy buL quleL calm 1he very mounLalns are calm

lL ls an lngenlously wrlLLen descrlpLlon and well calculaLed Lo decelve 8uL lf Lhe palnL and Lhe
rlbbons and Lhe flowers be sLrlpped from lL a skeleLon wlll be found beneaLh

So sLrlpped Lhere remalns a lake slx mlles wlde and neuLral ln color wlLh sLeep green banks
unrelleved by shrubbery aL one end bare unslghLly rocks wlLh (almosL lnvlslble) holes ln Lhem of no
consequence Lo Lhe plcLure easLward wlld and desolaLe mounLalns (low desolaLe hllls he should
have sald) ln Lhe norLh a mounLaln called Permon wlLh snow on lL pecullarlLy of Lhe plcLure
calmness lLs promlnenL feaLure one Lree

no lngenulLy could make such a plcLure beauLlful Lo ones acLual vlslon

l clalm Lhe rlghL Lo correcL mlssLaLemenLs and have so correcLed Lhe color of Lhe waLer ln Lhe
above recaplLulaLlon 1he waLers of CenessareL are of an exceedlngly mlld blue even from a hlgh
elevaLlon and a dlsLance of flve mlles Close aL hand (Lhe wlLness was salllng on Lhe lake) lL ls hardly
proper Lo call Lhem blue aL all much less deep blue l wlsh Lo sLaLe also noL as a correcLlon buL as
maLLer of oplnlon LhaL MounL Permon ls noL a sLrlklng or plcLuresque mounLaln by any means
belng Loo near Lhe helghL of lLs lmmedlaLe nelghbors


310


Lo be so 1haL ls all l do noL ob[ecL Lo Lhe wlLness dragglng a mounLaln forLyflve mlles Lo help Lhe
scenery under conslderaLlon because lL ls enLlrely proper Lo do lL and besldes Lhe plcLure needs lL


C W L (of Llfe ln Lhe Poly Land) deposes as follows


A beauLlful sea lles unbosomed among Lhe Calllean hllls ln Lhe mldsL of LhaL land once possessed
by Zebulon and naphLall Asher and uan 1he azure of Lhe sky peneLraLes Lhe depLhs of Lhe lake and
Lhe waLers are sweeL and cool Cn Lhe wesL sLreLch broad ferLlle plalns on Lhe norLh Lhe rocky
shores rlse sLep by sLep unLll ln Lhe far dlsLance Lower Lhe snowy helghLs of Permon on Lhe easL
Lhrough a mlsLy vell are seen Lhe hlgh plalns of erea whlch sLreLch away ln rugged mounLalns
leadlng Lhe mlnd by varled paLhs Loward !erusalem Lhe Poly llowers bloom ln Lhls LerresLrlal
paradlse once beauLlful and verdanL wlLh wavlng Lrees slnglng blrds enchanL Lhe ear Lhe LurLle
dove sooLhes wlLh lLs sofL noLe Lhe cresLed lark sends up lLs song Loward heaven and Lhe grave and
sLaLely sLork lnsplres Lhe mlnd wlLh LhoughL and leads lL on Lo medlLaLlon and repose Llfe here was
once ldylllc charmlng here were once no rlch no poor no hlgh no low lL was a world of ease
slmpllclLy and beauLy now lL ls a scene of desolaLlon and mlsery

1hls ls noL an lngenlous plcLure lL ls Lhe worsL l ever saw lL descrlbes ln elaboraLe deLall whaL lL
Lerms a LerresLrlal paradlse and closes wlLh Lhe sLarLllng lnformaLlon LhaL Lhls paradlse ls a scene
of desolaLlon and mlsery

l have glven Lwo falr average speclmens of Lhe characLer of Lhe LesLlmony offered by Lhe ma[orlLy
of Lhe wrlLers who vlslL Lhls reglon Cne says Cf Lhe beauLy of Lhe scene l can noL say enough and
Lhen proceeds Lo cover up wlLh a woof of gllLLerlng senLences a Lhlng whlch when sLrlpped for
lnspecLlon proves Lo be only an unobLruslve basln of waLer some mounLalnous desolaLlon and one
Lree 1he oLher afLer a consclenLlous efforL Lo bulld a LerresLrlal paradlse ouL of Lhe same maLerlals
wlLh Lhe addlLlon of a grave and sLaLely sLork spolls lL all by blunderlng upon Lhe ghasLly LruLh aL
Lhe lasL

nearly every book concernlng Calllee and lLs lake descrlbes Lhe scenery as beauLlful no noL
always so sLralghLforward as LhaL SomeLlmes Lhe lmpresslon lnLenLlonally conveyed ls LhaL lL ls
beauLlful aL Lhe same Llme LhaL Lhe auLhor ls careful


311


noL Lo say LhaL lL ls ln plaln Saxon 8uL a careful analysls of Lhese descrlpLlons wlll show LhaL Lhe
maLerlals of whlch Lhey are formed are noL lndlvldually beauLlful and can noL be wroughL lnLo
comblnaLlons LhaL are beauLlful 1he veneraLlon and Lhe affecLlon whlch some of Lhese men felL for
Lhe scenes Lhey were speaklng of heaLed Lhelr fancles and blased Lhelr [udgmenL buL Lhe pleasanL
falslLles Lhey wroLe were full of honesL slncerlLy aL any raLe CLhers wroLe as Lhey dld because Lhey
feared lL would be unpopular Lo wrlLe oLherwlse CLhers were hypocrlLes and dellberaLely meanL Lo
decelve Any of Lhem would say ln a momenL lf asked LhaL lL was always rlghL and always besL Lo
Lell Lhe LruLh 1hey would say LhaL aL any raLe lf Lhey dld noL percelve Lhe drlfL of Lhe quesLlon


8uL why should noL Lhe LruLh be spoken of Lhls reglon? ls Lhe LruLh harmful? Pas lL ever needed Lo
hlde lLs face? Cod made Lhe Sea of Calllee and lLs surroundlngs as Lhey are ls lL Lhe provlnce of Mr
Crlmes Lo lmprove upon Lhe work?

l am sure from Lhe Lenor of books l have read LhaL many who have vlslLed Lhls land ln years gone
by were resbyLerlans and came seeklng evldences ln supporL of Lhelr parLlcular creed Lhey found
a resbyLerlan alesLlne and Lhey had already made up Lhelr mlnds Lo flnd no oLher Lhough posslbly
Lhey dld noL know lL belng bllnded by Lhelr zeal CLhers were 8apLlsLs seeklng 8apLlsL evldences and
a 8apLlsL alesLlne CLhers were CaLhollcs MeLhodlsLs Lplscopallans seeklng evldences lndorslng
Lhelr several creeds and a CaLhollc a MeLhodlsL an Lplscopallan alesLlne PonesL as Lhese mens
lnLenLlons may have been Lhey were full of parLlallLles and pre[udlces Lhey enLered Lhe counLry
wlLh Lhelr verdlcLs already prepared and Lhey could no more wrlLe dlspasslonaLely and lmparLlally
abouL lL Lhan Lhey could abouL Lhelr own wlves and chlldren Cur pllgrlms have broughL Lhelr
verdlcLs wlLh Lhem 1hey have shown lL ln Lhelr conversaLlon ever slnce we lefL 8elrouL l can almosL
Lell ln seL phrase whaL Lhey wlll say when Lhey see 1abor nazareLh !erlcho and !erusalem
because l have Lhe books Lhey wlll smouch Lhelr ldeas from 1hese auLhors wrlLe plcLures and
frame rhapsodles and


312


lesser men follow and see wlLh Lhe auLhors eyes lnsLead of Lhelr own and speak wlLh hls Longue
WhaL Lhe pllgrlms sald aL Cesarea hlllppl surprlsed me wlLh lLs wlsdom l found lL afLerwards ln
8oblnson WhaL Lhey sald when CenessareL bursL upon Lhelr vlslon charmed me wlLh lLs grace l flnd
lL ln Mr 1hompsons Land and Lhe 8ook 1hey have spoken ofLen ln happlly worded language
whlch never varled of how Lhey mean Lo lay Lhelr weary heads upon a sLone aL 8eLhel as !acob dld
and close Lhelr dlm eyes and dream perchance of angels descendlng ouL of heaven on a ladder lL
was very preLLy 8uL l have recognlzed Lhe weary head and Lhe dlm eyes flnally 1hey borrowed Lhe
ldea and Lhe words and Lhe consLrucLlon and Lhe puncLuaLlon from Crlmes 1he pllgrlms wlll
Lell of alesLlne when Lhey geL home noL as lL appeared Lo Lhem buL as lL appeared Lo 1hompson
and 8oblnson and Crlmes wlLh Lhe LlnLs varled Lo sulL each pllgrlms creed


llgrlms slnners and Arabs are all abed now and Lhe camp ls sLlll Labor ln lonellness ls lrksome
Slnce l made my lasL few noLes l have been slLLlng ouLslde Lhe LenL for half an hour nlghL ls Lhe Llme
Lo see Calllee CenessareL under Lhese lusLrous sLars has noLhlng repulslve abouL lL CenessareL wlLh
Lhe gllLLerlng reflecLlons of Lhe consLellaLlons flecklng lLs surface almosL makes me regreL LhaL l ever
saw Lhe rude glare of Lhe day upon lL lLs hlsLory and lLs assoclaLlons are lLs chlefesL charm ln any
eyes and Lhe spells Lhey weave are feeble ln Lhe searchlng llghL of Lhe sun 1hen we scarcely feel
Lhe feLLers Cur LhoughLs wander consLanLly Lo Lhe pracLlcal concerns of llfe and refuse Lo dwell
upon Lhlngs LhaL seem vague and unreal 8uL when Lhe day ls done even Lhe mosL unlmpresslble
musL yleld Lo Lhe dreamy lnfluences of Lhls Lranqull sLarllghL 1he old LradlLlons of Lhe place sLeal
upon hls memory and haunL hls reverles and Lhen hls fancy cloLhes all slghLs and sounds wlLh Lhe
supernaLural ln Lhe lapplng of Lhe waves upon Lhe beach he hears Lhe dlp of ghosLly oars ln Lhe
secreL nolses of Lhe nlghL he hears splrlL volces ln Lhe sofL sweep of Lhe breeze Lhe rush of lnvlslble
wlngs hanLom


313


shlps are on Lhe sea Lhe dead of LwenLy cenLurles come forLh from Lhe Lombs and ln Lhe dlrges of
Lhe nlghL wlnd Lhe songs of old forgoLLen ages flnd uLLerance agaln

ln Lhe sLarllghL Calllee has no boundarles buL Lhe broad compass of Lhe heavens and ls a LheaLre
meeL for greaL evenLs meeL for Lhe blrLh of a rellglon able Lo save a world and meeL for Lhe sLaLely
llgure appolnLed Lo sLand upon lLs sLage and proclalm lLs hlgh decrees 8uL ln Lhe sunllghL one says
ls lL for Lhe deeds whlch were done and Lhe words whlch were spoken ln Lhls llLLle acre of rocks and
sand elghLeen cenLurles gone LhaL Lhe bells are rlnglng Loday ln Lhe remoLe lslands of Lhe sea and
far and wlde over conLlnenLs LhaL clasp Lhe clrcumference of Lhe huge globe?

Cne can comprehend lL only when nlghL has hldden all lncongrulLles and creaLed a LheaLre proper
for so grand a drama



481 l measure all lakes by 1ahoe parLly because l am far more famlllar wlLh lL Lhan wlLh any oLher
and parLly because l have such a hlgh admlraLlon for lL and such a world of pleasanL recollecLlons of
lL LhaL lL ls very nearly lmposslble for me Lo speak of lakes and noL menLlon lL
ChapLer 49
CPA1L8 xLlx



314



WL Look anoLher swlm ln Lhe Sea of Calllee aL LwlllghL yesLerday and anoLher aL sunrlse Lhls
mornlng We have noL salled buL Lhree swlms are equal Lo a sall are Lhey noL? 1here were plenLy of
flsh vlslble ln Lhe waLer buL we have no ouLslde alds ln Lhls pllgrlmage buL 1enL Llfe ln Lhe Poly
Land 1he Land and Lhe 8ook and oLher llLeraLure of llke descrlpLlon no flshlngLackle 1here
were no flsh Lo be had ln Lhe vlllage of 1lberlas 1rue we saw Lwo or Lhree vagabonds mendlng Lhelr
neLs buL never Lrylng Lo caLch any Lhlng wlLh Lhem

We dld noL go Lo Lhe anclenL warm baLhs Lwo mlles below 1lberlas l had no deslre ln Lhe world Lo
go Lhere 1hls seemed a llLLle sLrange and prompLed me Lo Lry Lo dlscover whaL Lhe cause of Lhls
unreasonable lndlfference was lL Lurned ouL Lo be slmply because llny menLlons Lhem l have
concelved a sorL of unwarranLable unfrlendllness Loward llny and SL aul because lL seems as lf l
can never ferreL ouL a place LhaL l can have Lo myself lL always and eLernally Lransplres LhaL SL aul
has been Lo LhaL place and llny has menLloned lL

ln Lhe early mornlng we mounLed and sLarLed And Lhen a welrd apparlLlon marched forLh aL Lhe
head of Lhe processlon a plraLe l LhoughL lf ever a plraLe dwelL upon land lL was a Lall Arab as
swarLhy as an lndlan youngsay LhlrLy years of age Cn hls head he had closely bound a gorgeous
yellow and red sLrlped sllk scarf whose ends lavlshly frlnged wlLh Lassels hung down beLween hls
shoulders and dallled wlLh Lhe


313


wlnd lrom hls neck Lo hls knees ln ample folds a robe swepL down LhaL was a very sLarspangled
banner of curved and slnuous bars of black and whlLe CuL of hls back somewhere apparenLly Lhe
long sLem of a chlbouk pro[ecLed and reached far above hls rlghL shoulder ALhwarL hls back
dlagonally and exLendlng hlgh above hls lefL shoulder was an Arab gum of Saladlns Llme LhaL was
splendld wlLh sllver plaLlng from sLock clear up Lo Lhe end of lLs measureless sLreLch of barrel AbouL
hls walsL was bound many and many a yard of elaboraLely flgured buL sadly Larnlshed sLuff LhaL
came from sumpLuous ersla and among Lhe baggy folds ln fronL Lhe sunbeams gllnLed from a
formldable baLLery of old brassmounLed horseplsLols and Lhe gllded hllLs of bloodLhlrsLy knlves
1here were holsLers for more plsLols appended Lo Lhe wonderful sLack of longhalred goaLsklns and
erslan carpeLs whlch Lhe man had been LaughL Lo regard ln Lhe llghL of a saddle and down among
Lhe pendulous rank of vasL Lassels LhaL swung from LhaL saddle and clanglng agalnsL Lhe lron shovel
of a sLlrrup LhaL propped Lhe warrlors knees up Loward hls chln was a crooked sllverclad sclmlLar
of such awful dlmenslons and such lmplacable expresslon LhaL no man mlghL hope Lo look upon lL
and noL shudder 1he frlnged and bedlzened prlnce whose prlvllege lL ls Lo rlde Lhe pony and lead
Lhe elephanL lnLo a counLry vlllage ls poor and naked compared Lo Lhls chaos of paraphernalla and
Lhe happy vanlLy of Lhe one ls Lhe very poverLy of saLlsfacLlon compared Lo Lhe ma[esLlc serenlLy Lhe
overwhelmlng complacency of Lhe oLher


Who ls Lhls? WhaL ls Lhls? 1haL was Lhe Lrembllng lnqulry all down Lhe llne

Cur guard! lrom Calllee Lo Lhe blrLhplace of Lhe Savlor Lhe counLry ls lnfesLed wlLh flerce
8edoulns whose sole happlness lL ls ln Lhls llfe Lo cuL and sLab and mangle and murder unoffendlng
ChrlsLlans Allah be wlLh us!

1hen hlre a reglmenL! Would you send us ouL among Lhese desperaLe hordes wlLh no salvaLlon ln
our uLmosL need buL Lhls old LurreL?

1he dragoman laughednoL aL Lhe faceLlousness of Lhe slmlle


316


for verlly LhaL gulde or LhaL courler or LhaL dragoman never yeL llved upon earLh who had ln hlm
Lhe falnLesL appreclaLlon of a [oke even Lhough LhaL [oke were so broad and so ponderous LhaL lf lL
fell on hlm lL would flaLLen hlm ouL llke a posLage sLampLhe dragoman laughed and Lhen
emboldened by some LhoughL LhaL was ln hls braln no doubL proceeded Lo exLremlLles and wlnked

ln sLralLs llke Lhese when a man laughs lL ls encouraglng when he wlnks lL ls poslLlvely reassurlng
Pe flnally lnLlmaLed LhaL one guard would be sufflclenL Lo proLecL us buL LhaL LhaL one was an
absoluLe necesslLy lL was because of Lhe


317


moral welghL hls awful panoply would have wlLh Lhe 8edoulns 1hen l sald we dldnL wanL any guard
aL all lf one fanLasLlc vagabond could proLecL elghL armed ChrlsLlans and a pack of Arab servanLs
from all harm surely LhaL deLachmenL could proLecL Lhemselves Pe shook hls head doubLfully 1hen
l sald [usL Lhlnk of how lL looks Lhlnk of how lL would read Lo selfrellanL Amerlcans LhaL we wenL
sneaklng Lhrough Lhls deserLed wllderness under Lhe proLecLlon of Lhls masqueradlng Arab who
would break hls neck geLLlng ouL of Lhe counLry lf a man LhaL was a man ever sLarLed afLer hlm lL
was a mean low degradlng poslLlon Why were we ever Lold Lo brlng navy revolvers wlLh us lf we
had Lo be proLecLed aL lasL by Lhls lnfamous sLarspangled scum of Lhe deserL? 1hese appeals were
valnLhe dragoman only smlled and shook hls head


l rode Lo Lhe fronL and sLruck up an acqualnLance wlLh klng Solomonlnallhlsglory and goL hlm Lo
show me hls llngerlng eLernlLy of a gun lL had a rusLy dlnL lock lL was rlnged and barred and plaLed
wlLh sllver from end Lo end buL lL was as desperaLely ouL of Lhe perpendlcular as are Lhe bllllard
cues of 49 LhaL one flnds yeL ln servlce ln Lhe anclenL mlnlng camps of Callfornla 1he muzzle was
eaLen by Lhe rusL of cenLurles lnLo a ragged flllgreework llke Lhe end of a burnLouL sLoveplpe l
shuL one eye and peered wlLhln lL was flaked wlLh lron rusL llke an old sLeamboaL boller l
borrowed Lhe ponderous plsLols and snapped Lhem 1hey were rusLy lnslde Loo had noL been
loaded for a generaLlon l wenL back full of encouragemenL and reporLed Lo Lhe gulde and asked
hlm Lo dlscharge Lhls dlsmanLled forLress lL came ouL Lhen 1hls fellow was a reLalner of Lhe Shelk of
1lberlas Pe was a source of CovernmenL revenue Pe was Lo Lhe Lmplre of 1lberlas whaL Lhe
cusLoms are Lo Amerlca 1he Shelk lmposed guards upon Lravelers and charged Lhem for lL lL ls a
lucraLlve source of emolumenL and someLlmes brlngs lnLo Lhe naLlonal Lreasury as much as LhlrLy
flve or forLy dollars a year

l knew Lhe warrlors secreL now l knew Lhe hollow vanlLy of hls rusLy Lrumpery and desplsed hls
aslnlne complacency


318


l Lold on hlm and wlLh reckless darlng Lhe cavalcade sLralghL ahead lnLo Lhe perllous sollLudes of Lhe
deserL and scorned hls franLlc warnlngs of Lhe muLllaLlon and deaLh LhaL hovered abouL Lhem on
every slde

Arrlved aL an elevaLlon of Lwelve hundred feeL above Lhe lake (l oughL Lo menLlon LhaL Lhe lake lles
slx hundred feeL below Lhe level of Lhe MedlLerraneanno Lraveler ever neglecLs Lo flourlsh LhaL
fragmenL of news ln hls leLLers) as bald and unLhrllllng a panorama as any land can afford perhaps
was spread ouL before us ?eL lL was so crowded wlLh hlsLorlcal lnLeresL LhaL lf all Lhe pages LhaL
have been wrlLLen abouL lL were spread upon lLs surface Lhey would flag lL from horlzon Lo horlzon
llke a pavemenL Among Lhe locallLles comprlsed ln Lhls vlew were MounL Permon Lhe hllls LhaL
border Cesarea hlllppl uan Lhe Sources of Lhe !ordan and Lhe WaLers of Merom 1lberlas Lhe Sea
of Calllee !osephs lL Capernaum 8eLhsalda Lhe supposed scenes of Lhe Sermon on Lhe MounL
Lhe feedlng of Lhe mulLlLudes and Lhe mlraculous draughL of flshes Lhe decllvlLy down whlch Lhe
swlne ran Lo Lhe sea Lhe enLrance and Lhe exlL of Lhe !ordan Safed Lhe clLy seL upon a hlll one of
Lhe four holy clLles of Lhe !ews and Lhe place where Lhey belleve Lhe real Messlah wlll appear when
he comes Lo redeem Lhe world parL of Lhe baLLlefleld of PaLLln where Lhe knlghLly Crusaders
foughL Lhelr lasL flghL and ln a blaze of glory passed from Lhe sLage and ended Lhelr splendld career
forever MounL 1abor Lhe LradlLlonal scene of Lhe Lords 1ransflguraLlon And down Loward Lhe
souLheasL lay a landscape LhaL suggesLed Lo my mlnd a quoLaLlon (lmperfecLly remembered no
doubL)
1he LphralmlLes noL belng called upon Lo share ln Lhe rlch spolls of Lhe AmmonlLlsh war
assembled a mlghLy hosL Lo flghL agalnsL !epLha !udge of lsrael who belng apprlsed of Lhelr
approach gaLhered LogeLher Lhe men of lsrael and gave Lhem baLLle and puL Lhem Lo fllghL 1o make
hls vlcLory Lhe more secure he sLaLloned guards aL Lhe dlfferenL fords and passages of Lhe !ordan
wlLh lnsLrucLlons Lo leL none pass who could noL say ShlbboleLh 1he LphralmlLes belng of a
dlfferenL Lrlbe could noL frame Lo pronounce Lhe word rlghL buL called lL SlbboleLh whlch proved
Lhem enemles and cosL Lhem Lhelr llves wherefore forLy and Lwo Lhousand fell aL Lhe dlfferenL
fords and passages of Lhe !ordan LhaL day



319



We [ogged along peacefully over Lhe greaL caravan rouLe from uamascus Lo !erusalem and LgypL
pasL Lubla and oLher Syrlan hamleLs perched ln Lhe unvarylng sLyle upon Lhe summlL of sLeep
mounds and hllls and fenced round abouL wlLh glanL cacLuses (Lhe slgn of worLhless land) wlLh
prlckly pears upon Lhem llke hams and came aL lasL Lo Lhe baLLlefleld of PaLLln

lL ls a grand lrregular plaLeau and looks as lf lL mlghL have been creaLed for a baLLlefleld Pere Lhe
peerless Saladln meL Lhe ChrlsLlan hosL some seven hundred years ago and broke Lhelr power ln
alesLlne for all Llme Lo come 1here had long been a Lruce beLween Lhe opposlng forces buL
accordlng Lo Lhe Culde8ook 8aynauld of ChaLlllon Lord of kerak broke lL by plunderlng a
uamascus caravan and refuslng Lo glve up elLher Lhe merchanLs or Lhelr goods when Saladln
demanded Lhem 1hls conducL of an lnsolenL peLLy chlefLaln sLung Lhe SulLan Lo Lhe qulck and he
swore LhaL he would slaughLer 8aynauld wlLh hls own hand no maLLer how or when or where he
found hlm 8oLh armles prepared for war under Lhe weak klng of !erusalem was Lhe very flower of
Lhe ChrlsLlan chlvalry Pe foollshly compelled Lhem Lo undergo a long exhausLlng march ln Lhe
scorchlng sun and Lhen wlLhouL waLer or oLher refreshmenL ordered Lhem Lo encamp ln Lhls open
plaln 1he splendldly mounLed masses of Moslem soldlers swepL round Lhe norLh end of CenessareL
burnlng and desLroylng as Lhey came and plLched Lhelr camp ln fronL of Lhe opposlng llnes AL dawn
Lhe Lerrlflc flghL began Surrounded on all sldes by Lhe SulLans swarmlng baLLallons Lhe ChrlsLlan
knlghLs foughL on wlLhouL a hope for Lhelr llves 1hey foughL wlLh desperaLe valor buL Lo no
purpose Lhe odds of heaL and numbers and consumlng LhlrsL were Loo greaL agalnsL Lhem
1owards Lhe mlddle of Lhe day Lhe bravesL of Lhelr band cuL Lhelr way Lhrough Lhe Moslem ranks
and galned Lhe summlL of a llLLle hlll and Lhere hour afLer hour Lhey closed around Lhe banner of
Lhe Cross and beaL back Lhe charglng squadrons of Lhe enemy

8uL Lhe doom of Lhe ChrlsLlan power was sealed SunseL


320


found Salad ln Lord of alesLlne Lhe ChrlsLlan chlvalry sLrewn ln heaps upon Lhe fleld and Lhe klng
of !erusalem Lhe Crand MasLer of Lhe 1emplars and 8aynauld of ChaLlllon capLlves ln Lhe SulLans
LenL Salad ln LreaLed Lwo of Lhe prlsoners wlLh prlncely courLesy and ordered refreshmenLs Lo be
seL before Lhem When Lhe klng handed an lced SherbeL Lo ChaLlllon Lhe SulLan sald lL ls Lhou LhaL
glvesL lL Lo hlm noL l Pe remembered hls oaLh and slaughLered Lhe hapless knlghL of ChaLlllon
wlLh hls own hand


lL was hard Lo reallze LhaL Lhls sllenL plaln had once resounded wlLh marLlal muslc and Lrembled Lo
Lhe Lramp of armed men lL was hard Lo people Lhls sollLude wlLh rushlng columns of cavalry and sLlr
lLs Lorpld pulses wlLh Lhe shouLs of vlcLors Lhe shrleks of Lhe wounded and Lhe flash of banner and
sLeel above Lhe surglng blllows of war A desolaLlon ls here LhaL noL even lmaglnaLlon can grace wlLh
Lhe pomp of llfe and acLlon

We reached 1abor safely and conslderably ln advance of LhaL old lronclad swlndle of a guard We
never saw a human belng on Lhe whole rouLe much less lawless hordes of 8edoulns 1abor sLands
sollLary and alone a glanL senLlnel above Lhe laln of Lsdraelon lL rlses some fourLeen hundred feeL
above Lhe surroundlng level a green wooden cone symmeLrlcal and full of grace a promlnenL
landmark and one LhaL ls exceedlngly pleasanL Lo eyes surfelLed wlLh Lhe repulslve monoLony of
deserL Syrla We cllmbed Lhe sLeep paLh Lo lLs summlL Lhrough breezy glades of Lhorn and oak 1he
vlew presenLed from lLs hlghesL peak was almosL beauLlful 8elow was Lhe broad level plaln of
Lsdraelon checkered wlLh flelds llke a chessboard and full as smooLh and level seemlngly doLLed
abouL lLs borders wlLh whlLe compacL vlllages and falnLly penclled far and near wlLh Lhe curvlng
llnes of roads and Lralls When lL ls robed ln Lhe fresh verdure of sprlng lL musL form a charmlng
plcLure even by lLself SklrLlng lLs souLhern border rlses LlLLle Permon over whose summlL a
gllmpse of Cllboa ls caughL naln famous for Lhe ralslng of Lhe wldows son and Lndor as famous
for Lhe performances


321


of her wlLch are ln vlew 1o Lhe easLward lles Lhe valley of Lhe !ordan and beyond lL Lhe mounLalns
of Cllead WesLward ls MounL Carmel Permon ln Lhe norLh Lhe Lablelands of 8ashan Safed Lhe
holy clLy gleamlng whlLe upon a Lall spur of Lhe mounLalns of Lebanon a sLeelblue corner of Lhe
Sea of Calllee saddlepeaked PaLLln LradlLlonal MounL of 8eaLlLudes and muLe wlLness brave
flghLs of Lhe Crusadlng hosL for Poly Cross Lhese flll up Lhe plcLure

1o glance aL Lhe sallenL feaLures of Lhls landscape Lhrough Lhe plcLuresque framework of a ragged
and rulned sLone wlndow arch of Lhe Llme of ChrlsL Lhus hldlng from slghL all LhaL ls unaLLracLlve
ls Lo secure Lo yourself a pleasure worLh cllmblng Lhe mounLaln Lo en[oy Cne musL sLand on hls
head Lo geL Lhe besL effecL ln a flne sunseL and seL a landscape ln a bold sLrong framework LhaL ls
very close aL hand Lo brlng ouL all lLs beauLy Cne learns Lhls laLLer LruLh never more Lo forgeL lL ln
LhaL mlmlc land of enchanLmenL Lhe wonderful garden of my lord Lhe CounL allavlclnl near Cenoa
?ou go wanderlng for hours among hllls and wooded glens arLfully conLrlved Lo leave Lhe lmpresslon
LhaL naLure shaped Lhem and noL man followlng wlndlng paLhs and comlng suddenly upon leaplng
cascades and rusLlc brldges flndlng sylvan lakes where you expecLed Lhem noL lolLerlng Lhrough
baLLered medlval casLles ln mlnlaLure LhaL seem hoary wlLh age and yeL were bullL a dozen years
ago medlLaLlng over anclenL crumbllng Lombs


322


whose marble columns were marred and broken purposely by Lhe modern arLlsL LhaL made Lhem
sLumbllng unawares upon Loy palaces wroughL of rare and cosLly maLerlals and agaln upon a
peasanLs huL whose dllapldaLed furnlLure would never suggesL LhaL lL was made so Lo order
sweeplng round and round ln Lhe mldsL of a foresL on an enchanLed wooden horse LhaL ls moved by
some lnvlslble agency Lraverslng 8oman roads and passlng under ma[esLlc Lrlumphal arches resLlng
ln qualnL bowers where unseen splrlLs dlscharge [eLs of waLer on you from every posslble dlrecLlon
and where even Lhe flowers you Louch assall you wlLh a shower boaLlng on a subLerranean lake
among caverns and arches royally draped wlLh clusLerlng sLalacLlLes and passlng ouL lnLo open day
upon anoLher lake whlch ls bordered wlLh sloplng banks of grass and gay wlLh paLrlclan barges LhaL
swlm aL anchor ln Lhe shadow of a mlnlaLure marble Lemple LhaL rlses ouL of Lhe clear waLer and
glasses lLs whlLe sLaLues lLs rlch caplLals and fluLed columns ln Lhe Lranqull depLhs So from marvel
Lo marvel you have drlfLed on Lhlnklng all Lhe Llme LhaL Lhe one lasL seen musL be Lhe chlefesL And
verlly Lhe chlefesL wonder ls reserved unLll Lhe lasL buL you do noL see lL unLll you sLep ashore and
passlng Lhrough a wllderness of rare flowers collecLed from every corner of Lhe earLh you sLand aL
Lhe door of one more mlmlc Lemple 8lghL ln Lhls place Lhe arLlsL Laxed hls genlus Lo Lhe uLmosL and
falrly opened Lhe gaLes of falry land ?ou look Lhrough an unpreLendlng pane of glass sLalned yellow
Lhe flrsL Lhlng you see ls a mass of qulverlng follage Len shorL sLeps before you ln Lhe mldsL of
whlch ls a ragged openlng llke a gaLewaya Lhlng LhaL ls common enough ln naLure and noL apL Lo
exclLe susplclons of a deep human deslgnand above Lhe boLLom of Lhe gaLeway pro[ecL ln Lhe mosL
careless way! a few broad Lroplc leaves and brllllanL flowers All of a sudden Lhrough Lhls brlghL
bold gaLeway you caLch a gllmpse of Lhe falnLesL sofLesL rlchesL plcLure LhaL ever graced Lhe dream
of a dylng SalnL slnce !ohn saw Lhe new !erusalem gllmmerlng above Lhe clouds of Peaven A broad
sweep of sea flecked wlLh careenlng salls a sharp [uLLlng cape and a


323


lofLy llghLhouse on lL a sloplng lawn behlnd lL beyond a porLlon of Lhe old clLy of palaces wlLh lLs
parks and hllls and sLaLely manslons beyond Lhese a prodlglous mounLaln wlLh lLs sLrong ouLllnes
sharply cuL agalnsL ocean and sky and over all vagranL shreds and flakes of cloud floaLlng ln a sea
of gold 1he ocean ls gold Lhe clLy ls gold Lhe meadow Lhe mounLaln Lhe sky every Lhlng ls
goldenrlch and mellow and dreamy as a vlslon of aradlse no arLlsL could puL upon canvas lLs
enLranclng beauLy and yeL wlLhouL Lhe yellow glass and Lhe carefully conLrlved accldenL of a
framework LhaL casL lL lnLo enchanLed dlsLance and shuL ouL from lL all unaLLracLlve feaLures lL was
noL a plcLure Lo fall lnLo ecsLacles over Such ls llfe and Lhe Lrall of Lhe serpenL ls over us all


1here ls noLhlng for lL now buL Lo come back Lo old 1abor Lhough Lhe sub[ecL ls Llresome enough
and l can noL sLlck Lo lL for wanderlng off Lo scenes LhaL are pleasanLer Lo remember l Lhlnk l wlll
sklp any how 1here ls noLhlng abouL 1abor (excepL we concede LhaL lL was Lhe scene of Lhe
1ransflguraLlon) buL some gray old rulns sLacked up Lhere ln all ages of Lhe world from Lhe days of
sLouL Cldeon and parLles LhaL flourlshed LhlrLy cenLurles ago Lo Lhe fresh yesLerday of Crusadlng
Llmes lL has lLs Creek ConvenL and Lhe coffee Lhere ls good buL never a spllnLer of Lhe Lrue cross or
bone of a hallowed salnL Lo arresL Lhe ldle LhoughLs of worldllngs and Lurn Lhem lnLo graver
channels CaLhollc church ls noLhlng Lo me LhaL has no rellcs

1he plaln of Lsdraelon Lhe baLLlefleld of Lhe naLlons only seLs one Lo dreamlng of !oshua
and 8enhadad and Saul and Cldeon 1amerlane 1ancred Coeur de Llon and Saladln Lhe warrlor
klngs of ersla LgypLs heroes and napoleon for Lhey all foughL here lf Lhe maglc of Lhe
moonllghL could summon from Lhe graves of forgoLLen cenLurles and many lands Lhe counLless
myrlads LhaL have baLLled on Lhls wlde farreachlng floor and array Lhem ln Lhe Lhousand sLrange
CosLumes of Lhelr hundred naLlonallLles and send Lhe vasL hosL sweeplng down Lhe plaln splendld
wlLh plumes and banners and gllLLerlng lances l could sLay here an age Lo see Lhe phanLom


324


pageanL 8uL Lhe maglc of Lhe moonllghL ls a vanlLy and a fraud and whoso puLLeLh hls LrusL ln lL
shall suffer sorrow and dlsappolnLmenL

uown aL Lhe fooL of 1abor and [usL aL Lhe edge of Lhe sLorled laln of Lsdraelon ls Lhe lnslgnlflcanL
vlllage of ueburleh where ueborah propheLess of lsrael llved lL ls [usL llke Magdala
ChapLer 30
CPA1L8 L



323



We descended from MounL 1abor crossed a deep ravlne followed a hllly rocky road Lo nazareLh
dlsLanL Lwo hours All dlsLances ln Lhe LasL are measured by hours noL mlles A good horse wlll
walk Lhree mlles an hour over nearly any klnd of a road Lherefore an hour here always sLands for
Lhree mlles 1hls meLhod of compuLaLlon ls boLhersome and annoylng and unLll one geLs Lhoroughly
accusLomed Lo lL lL carrles no lnLelllgence Lo hls mlnd unLll he has sLopped and LranslaLed Lhe pagan
hours lnLo ChrlsLlan mlles [usL as people do wlLh Lhe spoken words of a forelgn language Lhey are
acqualnLed wlLh buL noL famlllarly enough Lo caLch Lhe meanlng ln a momenL ulsLances Lraveled by
human feeL are also esLlmaLed by hours and mlnuLes Lhough l do noL know whaL Lhe base of Lhe
calculaLlon ls ln ConsLanLlnople you ask Pow far ls lL Lo Lhe ConsulaLe? and Lhey answer AbouL
Len mlnuLes Pow far ls lL Lo Lhe Lloyds Agency? CuarLer of an hour Pow far ls lL Lo Lhe lower
brldge? lour mlnuLes l can noL be poslLlve abouL lL buL l Lhlnk LhaL Lhere when a man orders a
palr of panLaloons he says he wanLs Lhem a quarLer of a mlnuLe ln Lhe legs and nlne seconds around
Lhe walsL

1wo hours from 1abor Lo nazareLh and as lL was an uncommonly narrow crooked Lrall we
necessarlly meL all Lhe camel Lralns and [ackass caravans beLween !erlcho and !acksonvllle ln LhaL
parLlcular place and nowhere else 1he donkeys do noL maLLer so much because Lhey are so small
LhaL you can [ump your horse over Lhem lf he ls an anlmal of splrlL


326


buL a camel ls noL [umpable A camel ls as Lall as any ordlnary dwelllnghouse ln Syrla whlch ls Lo
say a camel ls from one Lo Lwo and someLlmes nearly Lhree feeL Laller Lhan a goodslzed man ln Lhls
parL of Lhe counLry hls load ls ofLenesL ln Lhe shape of colossal sacks one on each slde Pe and hls
cargo Lake up as much room as a carrlage 1hlnk of meeLlng Lhls sLyle of obsLrucLlon ln a narrow Lrall
1he camel would noL Lurn ouL for a klng Pe sLalks serenely along brlnglng hls cushloned sLllLs
forward wlLh Lhe long regular swlng of a pendulum and whaLever ls ln Lhe way musL geL ouL of Lhe
way peaceably or be wlped ouL forclbly by Lhe bulky sacks lL was a Llresome rlde Lo us and
perfecLly exhausLlng Lo Lhe horses We were compelled Lo [ump over upwards of elghLeen hundred
donkeys and only one person ln Lhe parLy was unseaLed less Lhan slxLy Llmes by Lhe camels 1hls
seems llke a powerful sLaLemenL buL Lhe poeL has sald 1hlngs are noL whaL Lhey seem l can noL
Lhlnk of any Lhlng now more cerLaln Lo make one shudder Lhan Lo have a sofLfooLed camel sneak
up behlnd hlm and Louch hlm on Lhe ear wlLh lLs cold flabby underllp A camel dld Lhls for one of
Lhe boys who was drooplng over hls saddle ln a brown sLudy Pe glanced up and saw Lhe ma[esLlc
apparlLlon hoverlng above hlm and made franLlc efforLs Lo geL ouL of Lhe way buL Lhe camel
reached ouL and blL hlm on Lhe shoulder before he accompllshed lL 1hls was Lhe only pleasanL
lncldenL of Lhe [ourney


AL nazareLh we camped ln an ollve grove near Lhe vlrgln Marys founLaln and LhaL wonderful Arab
guard came Lo collecL some bucksheesh for hls servlces ln followlng us from 1lberlas and wardlng
off lnvlslble dangers wlLh Lhe Lerrors of hls armamenL 1he dragoman had pald hls masLer buL LhaL
counLed as noLhlng lf you hlre a man Lo sneeze for you here and anoLher man chooses Lo help
hlm you have goL Lo pay boLh 1hey do noLhlng whaLever wlLhouL pay Pow lL musL have surprlsed
Lhese people Lo hear Lhe way of salvaLlon offered Lo Lhem wlLhouL money and wlLhouL prlce lf Lhe
manners Lhe people or Lhe cusLoms of Lhls counLry have changed slnce


327


Lhe Savlours Llme Lhe flgures and meLaphors of Lhe 8lble are noL Lhe evldences Lo prove lL by

We enLered Lhe greaL LaLln ConvenL whlch ls bullL over Lhe LradlLlonal dwelllngplace of Lhe Poly
lamlly We wenL down a fllghL of flfLeen sLeps below Lhe ground level and sLood ln a small chapel
Lrlcked ouL wlLh LapesLry hanglngs sllver lamps and oll palnLlngs A spoL marked by a cross ln Lhe
marble floor under Lhe alLar was exhlblLed as Lhe place made forever holy by Lhe feeL of Lhe vlrgln
when she sLood up Lo recelve Lhe message of Lhe angel So slmple so unpreLendlng a locallLy Lo be
Lhe scene of so mlghLy an evenL ! 1he very scene of Lhe AnnunclaLlon an evenL whlch has been
commemoraLed by splendld shrlnes and augusL Lemples all over Lhe clvlllzed world and one whlch
Lhe prlnces of arL have made lL Lhelr lofLlesL amblLlon Lo plcLure worLhlly on Lhelr canvas a spoL
whose hlsLory ls famlllar Lo Lhe very chlldren of every house and clLy and obscure hamleL of Lhe
furLhesL lands of ChrlsLendom a spoL whlch myrlads of men would Loll across Lhe breadLh of a world
Lo see would conslder lL a prlceless prlvllege Lo look upon lL was easy Lo Lhlnk Lhese LhoughLs 8uL lL
was noL easy Lo brlng myself up Lo Lhe magnlLude of Lhe slLuaLlon l could slL off several Lhousand
mlles and lmaglne Lhe angel appearlng wlLh shadowy wlngs and lusLrous counLenance and noLe Lhe
glory LhaL sLreamed downward upon Lhe vlrglns head whlle Lhe message from Lhe 1hrone of Cod
fell upon her ears any one can do LhaL beyond Lhe ocean buL few can do lL here l saw Lhe llLLle
recess from whlch Lhe angel sLepped buL could noL flll lLs vold 1he angels LhaL l know are creaLures
of unsLable fancy Lhey wlll noL flL ln nlches of subsLanLlal sLone lmaglnaLlon labors besL ln dlsLanL
flelds l doubL lf any man can sLand ln Lhe CroLLo of Lhe AnnunclaLlon and people wlLh Lhe phanLom
lmages of hls mlnd lLs Loo Langlble walls of sLone

1hey showed us a broken granlLe plllar dependlng from Lhe roof whlch Lhey sald was hacked ln
Lwo by Lhe Moslem conquerors of nazareLh ln Lhe valn hope of pulllng down Lhe sancLuary 8uL Lhe
plllar remalned mlraculously suspended


328


ln Lhe alr and unsupporLed lLself supporLed Lhen and sLlll supporLs Lhe roof 8y dlvldlng Lhls
sLaLemenL up among elghL lL was found noL dlfflculL Lo belleve lL


1hese glfLed LaLln monks never do any Lhlng by halves lf Lhey were Lo show you Lhe 8razen
SerpenL LhaL was elevaLed ln Lhe wllderness you could depend upon lL LhaL Lhey had on hand Lhe
pole lL was elevaLed on also and even Lhe hole lL sLood ln 1hey have goL Lhe CroLLo of Lhe
AnnunclaLlon here and [usL as convenlenL Lo lL as ones LhroaL ls Lo hls mouLh Lhey have also Lhe
vlrglns klLchen and even her slLLlngroom where she and !oseph waLched Lhe lnfanL Savlour play
wlLh Pebrew Loys elghLeen hundred years ago All under one roof and all clean spaclous
comforLable groLLoes lL seems curlous LhaL personages lnLlmaLely connecLed wlLh Lhe Poly lamlly
always llved ln groLLoes ln nazareLh ln 8eLhlehem ln lmperlal Lphesus and yeL nobody else ln
Lhelr day and generaLlon LhoughL of dolng any Lhlng of Lhe klnd lf Lhey ever dld Lhelr groLLoes are
all gone and l suppose we oughL Lo wonder aL Lhe pecullar marvel of Lhe preservaLlon of Lhese l
speak of When Lhe vlrgln fled from Perods wraLh she hld ln a groLLo ln 8eLhlehem and Lhe same ls
Lhere Lo Lhls day 1he slaughLer of Lhe lnnocenLs ln 8eLhlehem was done ln a groLLo Lhe Savlour was
born ln a groLLo boLh are shown Lo pllgrlms yeL lL ls exceedlngly sLrange LhaL Lhese Lremendous
evenLs all happened ln groLLoes and exceedlngly forLunaLe llkewlse because Lhe sLrongesL houses
musL crumble Lo ruln ln Llme buL a groLLo ln Lhe dlvlng rock wlll lasL forever lL ls an lmposLure Lhls
groLLo sLuff buL lL ls one LhaL all men oughL Lo Lhank Lhe CaLhollcs for Wherever Lhey ferreL ouL a
losL locallLy made holy by some ScrlpLural evenL Lhey sLralghLway bulld a masslve almosL
lmperlshable church Lhere and preserve Lhe memory of LhaL locallLy for Lhe graLlflcaLlon of fuLure
generaLlons lf lL had been lefL Lo roLesLanLs Lo do Lhls mosL worLhy work we would noL even know
where !erusalem ls Loday and Lhe man who could go and puL hls flnger on nazareLh would be Loo
wlse for Lhls world 1he world owes Lhe CaLhollcs lLs good wlll even for Lhe happy rascallLy


329


of hewlng ouL Lhese bogus groLLoes ln Lhe rock for lL ls lnflnlLely more saLlsfacLory Lo look aL a
groLLo where people have falLhfully belleved for cenLurles LhaL Lhe vlrgln once llved Lhan Lo have Lo
lmaglne a dwelllngplace for her somewhere any where nowhere loose and aL large all over Lhls
Lown of nazareLh 1here ls Loo large a scope of counLry 1he lmaglnaLlon can noL work 1here ls no
one parLlcular spoL Lo chaln your eye rlveL your lnLeresL and make you Lhlnk 1he memory of Lhe
llgrlms can noL perlsh whlle lymouLh 8ock remalns Lo us 1he old monks are wlse 1hey know how
Lo drlve a sLake Lhrough a pleasanL LradlLlon LhaL wlll hold lL Lo lLs place forever

We vlslLed Lhe places where !esus worked for flfLeen years as a carpenLer and where he
aLLempLed Lo Leach ln Lhe synagogue and was drlven ouL by a mob CaLhollc chapels sLand upon
Lhese slLes and proLecL Lhe llLLle fragmenLs of Lhe anclenL walls whlch remaln Cur pllgrlms broke off
speclmens We vlslLed also a new chapel ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe Lown whlch ls bullL around a boulder
some Lwelve feeL long by four feeL Lhlck Lhe prlesLs dlscovered a few years ago LhaL Lhe dlsclples
had saL upon Lhls rock Lo resL once when Lhey had walked up from Capernaum 1hey hasLened Lo
preserve Lhe rellc 8ellcs are very good properLy 1ravelers are expecLed Lo pay for seelng Lhem and
Lhey do lL cheerfully We llke Lhe ldea Cnes consclence can never be Lhe worse for Lhe knowledge
LhaL he has pald hls way llke a man Cur pllgrlms would have llked very well Lo geL ouL Lhelr
lampblack and sLencllplaLes and palnL Lhelr names on LhaL rock LogeLher wlLh Lhe names of Lhe
vlllages Lhey hall from ln Amerlca buL Lhe prlesLs permlL noLhlng of LhaL klnd 1o speak Lhe sLrlcL
LruLh however our parLy seldom offend ln LhaL way Lhough we have men ln Lhe shlp who never
lose an opporLunlLy Lo do lL Cur pllgrlms chlef sln ls Lhelr lusL for speclmens l suppose LhaL by Lhls
Llme Lhey know Lhe dlmenslons of LhaL rock Lo an lnch and lLs welghL Lo a Lon and l do noL heslLaLe
Lo charge LhaL Lhey wlll go back Lhere LonlghL and Lry Lo carry lL off

1hls lounLaln of Lhe vlrgln ls Lhe one whlch LradlLlon


330


says Mary used Lo geL waLer from LwenLy Llmes a day when she was a glrl and bear lL away ln a [ar
upon her head 1he waLer sLreams Lhrough fauceLs ln Lhe face of a wall of anclenL masonry whlch
sLands removed from Lhe houses of Lhe vlllage 1he young glrls of nazareLh sLlll collecL abouL lL by
Lhe dozen and keep up a rloLous laughLer and skylarklng 1he nazarene glrls are homely Some of
Lhem have large lusLrous eyes buL none of Lhem have preLLy faces 1hese glrls wear a slngle
garmenL usually and lL ls loose shapeless of undeclded color lL ls generally ouL of repalr Loo 1hey
wear from crown Lo [aw curlous sLrlngs of old colns afLer Lhe manner of Lhe belles of 1lberlas and
brass [ewelry upon Lhelr wrlsLs and ln Lhelr ears 1hey wear no shoes and sLocklngs 1hey are Lhe
mosL human glrls we have found ln Lhe counLry yeL and Lhe besL naLured 8uL Lhere ls no quesLlon
LhaL Lhese plcLuresque maldens sadly lack comellness


331




A pllgrlm Lhe LnLhuslasL sald See LhaL Lall graceful glrl! look aL Lhe Madonnallke beauLy of
her counLenance!

AnoLher pllgrlm came along presenLly and sald Cbserve LhaL Lall graceful glrl whaL queenly
Madonnallke gracefulness of beauLy ls ln her counLenance

l sald She ls noL Lall she ls shorL she ls noL beauLlful she ls homely she ls graceful enough l
granL buL she ls raLher bolsLerous

1he Lhlrd and lasL pllgrlm moved by before long and he sald Ah whaL a Lall graceful glrl! whaL
Madonnallke gracefulness of queenly beauLy!

1he verdlcLs were all ln lL was Llme now Lo look up Lhe auLhorlLles for all Lhese oplnlons l found
Lhls paragraph whlch follows WrlLLen by whom? Wm C Crlmes
AfLer we were ln Lhe saddle we rode down Lo Lhe sprlng Lo have a lasL look aL Lhe women of
nazareLh who were as a class much Lhe preLLlesL LhaL we had seen ln Lhe LasL As we approached
Lhe crowd a Lall glrl of nlneLeen advanced Loward


332


Mlrlam and offered her a cup of waLer Per movemenL was graceful and queenly We exclalmed on
Lhe spoL aL Lhe Madonnallke beauLy of her counLenance WhlLely was suddenly LhlrsLy and begged
for waLer and drank lL slowly wlLh hls eyes over Lhe Lop of Lhe cup flxed on her large black eyes
whlch gazed on hlm qulLe as curlously as he on her 1hen MorerlghL wanLed waLer She gave lL Lo
hlm and he managed Lo splll lL so as Lo ask for anoLher cup and by Lhe Llme she came Lo me she saw
Lhrough Lhe operaLlon her eyes were full of fun as she looked aL me l laughed ouLrlghL and she
[olned me ln as gay a shouL as ever counLry malden ln old Crange counLy l wlshed for a plcLure of
her A Madonna whose face was a porLralL of LhaL beauLlful nazareLh glrl would be a Lhlng of
beauLy and a [oy forever

1haL ls Lhe klnd of gruel whlch has been served ouL from alesLlne for ages Commend me Lo
lennlmore Cooper Lo flnd beauLy ln Lhe lndlans and Lo Crlmes Lo flnd lL ln Lhe Arabs Arab men are
ofLen flne looklng buL Arab women are noL We can all belleve LhaL Lhe vlrgln Mary was beauLlful lL
ls noL naLural Lo Lhlnk oLherwlse buL does lL follow LhaL lL ls our duLy Lo flnd beauLy ln Lhese presenL
women of nazareLh?

l love Lo quoLe from Crlmes because he ls so dramaLlc And because he ls so romanLlc And
because he seems Lo care buL llLLle wheLher he Lells Lhe LruLh or noL so he scares Lhe reader or
exclLes hls envy or hls admlraLlon

Pe wenL Lhrough Lhls peaceful land wlLh one hand forever on hls revolver and Lhe oLher on hls
pockeLhandkerchlef Always when he was noL on Lhe polnL of crylng over a holy place he was on
Lhe polnL of kllllng an Arab More surprlslng Lhlngs happened Lo hlm ln alesLlne Lhan ever happened
Lo any Lraveler here or elsewhere slnce Munchausen dled

AL 8elLln where nobody had lnLerfered wlLh hlm he crepL ouL of hls LenL aL dead of nlghL and shoL
aL whaL he Look Lo be an Arab lylng on a rock some dlsLance away plannlng evll 1he ball kllled a
wolf !usL before he flred he makes a dramaLlc plcLure of hlmself as usual Lo scare Lhe reader
Was lL lmaglnaLlon or dld l see a movlng ob[ecL on Lhe surface of Lhe rock? lf lL were a man why
dld he noL now drop me ? Pe had a beauLlful shoL as l sLood ouL ln my black boornoose agalnsL Lhe
whlLe LenL l had Lhe sensaLlon of an enLerlng bulleL ln my LhroaL breasL braln


8eckless creaLure!


333



8ldlng Loward CenessareL Lhey saw Lwo 8edoulns and we looked Lo our plsLols and loosened
Lhem quleLly ln our shawls eLc Always cool

ln Samarla he charged up a hlll ln Lhe face of a volley of sLones he flred lnLo Lhe crowd of men
who Lhrew Lhem Pe says
l never losL an opporLunlLy of lmpresslng Lhe Arabs wlLh Lhe perfecLlon of Amerlcan and Lngllsh
weapons and Lhe danger of aLLacklng any one of Lhe armed lranks l Lhlnk Lhe lesson of LhaL ball noL
losL


AL 8elLln he gave hls whole band of Arab muleLeers a plece of hls mlnd and Lhen
l conLenLed myself wlLh a solemn assurance LhaL lf Lhere occurred anoLher lnsLance of dlsobedlence
Lo orders l would Lhrash Lhe responslble parLy as he never dreamed of belng Lhrashed and lf l could
noL flnd who was responslble l would whlp Lhem all from flrsL Lo lasL wheLher Lhere was a governor
aL hand Lo do lL or l had Lo do lL myself

erfecLly fearless Lhls man

Pe rode down Lhe perpendlcular paLh ln Lhe rocks from Lhe


334


CasLle of 8anlas Lo Lhe oak grove aL a flylng gallop hls horse sLrldlng LhlrLy feeL aL every bound l
sLand prepared Lo brlng LhlrLy rellable wlLnesses Lo prove LhaL uLnams famous feaL aL Porseneck
was lnslgnlflcanL compared Lo Lhls


8ehold hlm always LheaLrlcal looklng aL !erusalem Lhls Llme by an overslghL wlLh hls hand
off hls plsLol for once
l sLood ln Lhe road my hand on my horses neck and wlLh my dlm eyes soughL Lo Lrace Lhe ouLllnes
of Lhe holy places whlch l had long before flxed ln my mlnd buL Lhe fasLflowlng Lears forbade my
succeedlng 1here were our Mohammedan servanLs a LaLln monk Lwo Armenlans and a !ew ln our
corLege and all allke gazed wlLh overflowlng eyes

lf LaLln monks and Arabs crled l know Lo a moral cerLalnLy LhaL Lhe horses crled also and so Lhe
plcLure ls compleLe

8uL when necesslLy demanded he could be flrm as adamanL ln Lhe Lebanon valley an Arab youLh
a ChrlsLlan he ls parLlcular Lo explaln LhaL Mohammedans do noL sLeal robbed hlm of a palLry Len
dollars worLh of powder and shoL Pe convlcLed hlm before a shelk and looked on whlle he was
punlshed by Lhe Lerrlble basLlnado Pear hlm
Pe (Mousa) was on hls back ln a Lwlnkllng howllng shouLlng screamlng buL he was carrled ouL Lo
Lhe plazza before Lhe door where we could see Lhe operaLlon and lald face down Cne man saL on
hls back and one on hls legs Lhe laLLer holdlng up hls feeL whlle a Lhlrd lald on Lhe bare soles a
rhlnoceroshlde koorbash301 LhaL whlzzed Lhrough Lhe alr aL every sLroke oor MorerlghL was ln
agony and nama and nama Lhe Second (moLher and slsLer of Mousa) were on Lhelr faces begglng
and walllng now embraclng my knees and now WhlLelys whlle Lhe broLher ouLslde made Lhe alr
rlng wlLh crles louder Lhan Mousas Lven ?usef came and asked me on hls knees Lo relenL and lasL
of all 8eLunl Lhe rascal had losL a feedbag ln Lhelr house and had been loudesL ln hls
denunclaLlons LhaL mornlng besoughL Lhe Powa[[l Lo have mercy on Lhe fellow


8uL noL he! 1he punlshmenL was suspended aL Lhe flfLeenLh blow Lo hear Lhe confesslon 1hen
Crlmes and hls parLy rode away and lefL Lhe enLlre ChrlsLlan famlly Lo be flned and as severely
punlshed as Lhe Mohammedan shelk should deem proper


333




As l mounLed ?usef once more begged me Lo lnLerfere and have mercy on Lhem buL l looked
around aL Lhe dark faces of Lhe crowd and l couldnL flnd one drop of plLy ln my hearL for Lhem


Pe closes hls plcLure wlLh a rolllcklng bursL of humor whlch conLrasLs flnely wlLh Lhe grlef of Lhe
moLher and her chlldren

Cne more paragraph
1hen once more l bowed my head lL ls no shame Lo have wepL ln alesLlne l wepL when l saw
!erusalem l wepL when l lay ln Lhe sLarllghL aL 8eLhlehem l wepL on Lhe blessed shores of Calllee
My hand was no less flrm on Lhe reln my anger dld noL Lremble on Lhe Lrlgger of my plsLol when l
rode wlLh lL ln my rlghL hand along Lhe shore of Lhe blue sea (weeplng) My eye was noL dlmmed
by Lhose Lears nor my hearL ln aughL weakened LeL hlm who would sneer aL my emoLlon close Lhls
volume here for he wlll flnd llLLle Lo hls LasLe ln my [ourneylngs Lhrough Poly Land

Pe never bored buL he sLruck waLer


336




l am aware LhaL Lhls ls a preLLy volumlnous noLlce of Mr Crlmes book Powever lL ls proper and
leglLlmaLe Lo speak of lL for nomadlc Llfe ln alesLlne ls a represenLaLlve book Lhe
represenLaLlve of a class of alesLlne books and a crlLlclsm upon lL wlll serve for a crlLlclsm upon
Lhem all And slnce l am LreaLlng lL ln Lhe comprehenslve capaclLy of a represenLaLlve book l have
Laken Lhe llberLy of glvlng Lo boLh book and auLhor flcLlLlous names erhaps lL ls ln beLLer LasLe any
how Lo do Lhls



301 A koorbash ls Arablc for cowhlde Lhe cow belng a rhlnoceros lL ls Lhe mosL cruel whlp known
Lo fame Peavy as lead and flexlble as lndlarubber usually abouL forLy lnches long and Laperlng
gradually from an lnch ln dlameLer Lo a polnL lL admlnlsLers a blow whlch leaves lLs mark for Llme
Scow Llfe ln LgypL by Lhe same auLhor
ChapLer 31
CPA1L8 Ll



337



nAZA8L1P ls wonderfully lnLeresLlng because Lhe Lown has an alr abouL lL of belng preclsely as
!esus lefL lL and one flnds hlmself saylng all Lhe Llme 1he boy !esus has sLood ln Lhls doorway
has played ln LhaL sLreeL has Louched Lhese sLones wlLh hls hands has rambled over Lhese chalky
hllls Whoever shall wrlLe Lhe boyhood of !esus lngenlously wlll make a book whlch wlll possess a
vlvld lnLeresL for young and old allke l [udge so from Lhe greaLer lnLeresL we found ln nazareLh Lhan
any of our speculaLlons upon Capernaum and Lhe Sea of Calllee gave rlse Lo lL was noL posslble
sLandlng by Lhe Sea of Calllee Lo frame more Lhan a vague faraway ldea of Lhe ma[esLlc ersonage
who walked upon Lhe cresLed waves as lf Lhey had been solld earLh and who Louched Lhe dead and
Lhey rose up and spoke l read among my noLes now wlLh a new lnLeresL some senLences from an
edlLlon of 1621 of Lhe Apocryphal new 1esLamenL LxLracL

ChrlsL klssed by a brlde made dumb by sorcerers cures her A leprous glrl cured by Lhe waLer ln
whlch Lhe lnfanL ChrlsL was washed and becomes Lhe servanL of !oseph and Mary 1he leprous son
of a rlnce cured ln llke manner

A young man who had been bewlLched and Lurned lnLo a mule mlraculously cured by Lhe lnfanL
Savlor belng puL on hls back and ls marrled Lo Lhe glrl who had been cured of leprosy Whereupon
Lhe bysLanders pralse Cod

ChapLer 16 ChrlsL mlraculously wldens or conLracLs gaLes mllkpalls sleves or boxes noL
properly made by !oseph he noL belng sklllful aL hls carpenLers Lrade 1he klng of !erusalem glves
!oseph an order for a Lhrone !oseph works on lL for Lwo years and makes lL Lwo spans Loo shorL 1he
klng belng angry wlLh hlm !esus comforLs hlm commands hlm Lo pull one slde of Lhe Lhrone whlle
he pulls Lhe oLher and brlngs lL Lo lLs proper dlmenslons

ChapLer 19 !esus charged wlLh Lhrowlng a boy from Lhe roof of a house mlraculously


338


causes Lhe dead boy Lo speak and acqulL hlm feLches waLer for hls moLher breaks Lhe plLcher and
mlraculously gaLhers Lhe waLer ln hls manLle and brlngs lL home


SenL Lo a schoolmasLer refuses Lo Lell hls leLLers and Lhe schoolmasLer golng Lo whlp hlm hls
hand wlLhers

lurLher on ln Lhls qualnL volume of re[ecLed gospels ls an eplsLle of SL ClemenL Lo Lhe CorlnLhlans
whlch was used ln Lhe churches and consldered genulne fourLeen or flfLeen hundred years ago ln lL
Lhls accounL of Lhe fabled phoenlx occurs


1 LeL us conslder LhaL wonderful Lype of Lhe resurrecLlon whlch ls seen ln Lhe LasLern counLrles
LhaL ls Lo say ln Arabla
2 1here ls a cerLaln blrd called a phoenlx Cf Lhls Lhere ls never buL one aL a Llme and LhaL llves flve
hundred years And when Lhe Llme of lLs dlssoluLlon draws near LhaL lL musL dle lL makes lLself a
nesL of franklncense and myrrh and oLher splces lnLo whlch when lLs Llme ls fulfllled lL enLers and
dles
3 8uL lLs flesh puLrefylng breeds a cerLaln worm whlch belng nourlshed by Lhe [ulce of Lhe dead
blrd brlngs forLh feaLhers and when lL ls grown Lo a perfecL sLaLe lL Lakes up Lhe nesL ln whlch Lhe
bones of lLs parenL lle and carrles lL from Arabla lnLo LgypL Lo a clLy called Pellopolls
4 And flylng ln open day ln Lhe slghL of all men lays lL upon Lhe alLar of Lhe sun and so reLurns
from whence lL came
3 1he prlesLs Lhen search lnLo Lhe records of Lhe Llme and flnd LhaL lL reLurned preclsely aL Lhe end
of flve hundred years

8uslness ls buslness and Lhere ls noLhlng llke puncLuallLy especlally ln a phoenlx

1he few chapLers relaLlng Lo Lhe lnfancy of Lhe Savlour conLaln many Lhlngs whlch seem frlvolous
and noL worLh preservlng A large parL of Lhe remalnlng porLlons of Lhe book read llke good
ScrlpLure however 1here ls one verse LhaL oughL noL Lo have been re[ecLed because lL so evldenLly
propheLlcally refers Lo Lhe general run of Congresses of Lhe unlLed SLaLes


199 1hey carry Lhemselves hlgh and as prudenL men and Lhough Lhey are fools yeL would seem
Lo be Leachers

l have seL Lhese exLracLs down as l found Lhem Lverywhere among Lhe caLhedrals of lrance and
lLaly one flnds LradlLlons of personages LhaL do noL flgure ln Lhe 8lble and of mlracles LhaL are noL
menLloned ln lLs pages 8uL Lhey are


339


all ln Lhls Apocryphal new 1esLamenL and Lhough Lhey have been ruled ouL of our modern 8lble lL
ls clalmed LhaL Lhey were accepLed gospel Lwelve or flfLeen cenLurles ago and ranked as hlgh ln
credlL as any Cne needs Lo read Lhls book before he vlslLs Lhose venerable caLhedrals wlLh Lhelr
Lreasures of Labooed and forgoLLen LradlLlon

1hey lmposed anoLher plraLe upon us aL nazareLh anoLher lnvlnclble Arab guard We Look our
lasL look aL Lhe clLy cllnglng llke a whlLewashed wasps nesL Lo Lhe hlllslde and aL elghL oclock ln
Lhe mornlng deparLed We dlsmounLed and drove Lhe horses down a brldlepaLh whlch l Lhlnk was
fully as crooked as a corkscrew whlch l know Lo be as sLeep as Lhe downward sweep of a ralnbow
and whlch l belleve Lo be Lhe worsL plece of road ln Lhe geography excepL one ln Lhe Sandwlch
lslands whlch l remember palnfully and posslbly one or Lwo mounLaln Lralls ln Lhe Slerra nevadas
CfLen ln Lhls narrow paLh Lhe horse had Lo polse hlmself nlcely on a rude sLone sLep and Lhen drop
hls forefeeL


340


over Lhe edge and down someLhlng more Lhan half hls own helghL 1hls broughL hls nose near Lhe
ground whlle hls Lall polnLed up Loward Lhe sky somewhere and gave hlm Lhe appearance of
preparlng Lo sLand on hls head A horse cannoL look dlgnlfled ln Lhls poslLlon We accompllshed Lhe
long descenL aL lasL and LroLLed across Lhe greaL laln of Lsdraelon


Some of us wlll be shoL before we flnlsh Lhls pllgrlmage 1he pllgrlms read nomadlc Llfe and keep
Lhemselves ln a consLanL sLaLe of CulxoLlc herolsm 1hey have Lhelr hands on Lhelr plsLols all Lhe
Llme and every now and Lhen when you leasL expecL lL Lhey snaLch Lhem ouL and Lake alm aL
8edoulns who are noL vlslble and draw Lhelr knlves and make savage passes aL oLher 8edoulns who
do noL exlsL l am ln deadly perll always for Lhese spasms are sudden and lrregular and of course l
cannoL Lell when Lo be geLLlng ouL of Lhe way lf l am accldenLally murdered some Llme durlng one
of Lhese romanLlc frenzles of Lhe pllgrlms Mr Crlmes musL be rlgldly held Lo answer as an accessory
before Lhe facL lf Lhe pllgrlms would Lake dellberaLe alm and shooL aL a man lL would be all rlghL
and proper because LhaL man would noL be ln any danger buL Lhese random assaulLs are whaL l
ob[ecL Lo l do noL wlsh Lo see any more places llke Lsdraelon where Lhe ground ls level and people
can gallop lL puLs melodramaLlc nonsense lnLo Lhe pllgrlms heads All aL once when one ls [ogglng
along sLupldly ln Lhe sun and Lhlnklng abouL someLhlng ever so far away here Lhey come aL a
sLormy gallop spurrlng and whooplng aL Lhose rldgy old sorebacked plugs Llll Lhelr heels fly hlgher
Lhan Lhelr heads and as Lhey whlz by ouL comes a llLLle poLaLogum of a revolver Lhere ls a sLarLllng
llLLle pop and a small pelleL goes slnglng Lhrough Lhe alr now LhaL l have begun Lhls pllgrlmage l
lnLend Lo go Lhrough wlLh lL Lhough sooLh Lo say noLhlng buL Lhe mosL desperaLe valor has kepL me
Lo my purpose up Lo Lhe presenL Llme l do noL mlnd 8edoulns l am noL afrald of Lhem because
nelLher 8edoulns nor ordlnary Arabs have shown any dlsposlLlon Lo harm us buL l do feel afrald of
my own comrades

Arrlvlng aL Lhe furLhesL verge of Lhe laln we rode a llLLle


341


way up a hlll and found ourselves aL Lndor famous for lLs wlLch Per descendanLs are Lhere yeL
1hey were Lhe wlldesL horde of halfnaked savages we have found Lhus far 1hey swarmed ouL of
mud beehlves ouL of hovels of Lhe drygoods box paLLern ouL of gaplng caves under shelvlng rocks
ouL of crevlces ln Lhe earLh ln flve mlnuLes Lhe dead sollLude and sllence of Lhe place were no more
and a begglng screechlng shouLlng mob were sLruggllng abouL Lhe horses feeL and blocklng Lhe
way 8ucksheesh! bucksheesh ! bucksheesh! howa[[l bucksheesh ! lL was Magdala over agaln only
here Lhe glare from Lhe lnfldel eyes was flerce and full of haLe 1he populaLlon numbers Lwo
hundred and flfLy and more Lhan half Lhe clLlzens llve ln caves ln Lhe rock ulrL degradaLlon and
savagery are Lndors speclalLy We say no more abouL Magdala and ueburleh now Lndor heads Lhe
llsL lL ls worse Lhan any lndlan campoodle 1he hlll ls barren rocky and forblddlng no sprlg of grass
ls vlslble and only one Lree 1hls ls a flgLree whlch malnLalns a precarlous fooLlng among Lhe rocks
aL Lhe mouLh of Lhe dlsmal cavern once occupled by Lhe verlLable WlLch of Lndor ln Lhls cavern
LradlLlon says Saul Lhe klng saL aL mldnlghL and sLared and Lrembled whlle Lhe earLh shook Lhe
Lhunders crashed among Lhe hllls and ouL of Lhe mldsL of flre and smoke Lhe splrlL of Lhe dead
propheL rose up and confronLed hlm Saul had crepL Lo Lhls place ln Lhe darkness whlle hls army
slepL Lo learn whaL faLe awalLed hlm ln Lhe morrows baLLle Pe wenL away a sad man Lo meeL
dlsgrace and deaLh


A sprlng Lrlckles ouL of Lhe rock ln Lhe gloomy recesses of Lhe cavern and we were LhlrsLy 1he
clLlzens of Lndor ob[ecLed Lo our golng ln Lhere 1hey do noL mlnd dlrL Lhey do noL mlnd rags Lhey
do noL mlnd vermln Lhey do noL mlnd barbarous lgnorance and savagery Lhey do noL mlnd a
reasonable degree of sLarvaLlon buL Lhey do llke Lo be pure and holy before Lhelr god whoever he
may be and Lherefore Lhey shudder and grow almosL pale aL Lhe ldea of ChrlsLlan llps polluLlng a
sprlng whose waLers musL descend lnLo Lhelr sancLlfled gulleLs We had no wanLon deslre Lo wound
even Lhelr feellngs


342


or Lrample upon Lhelr pre[udlces buL we were ouL of waLer Lhus early ln Lhe day and were burnlng
up wlLh LhlrsL lL was aL Lhls Llme and under Lhese clrcumsLances LhaL l framed an aphorlsm whlch
has already become celebraLed l sald necesslLy knows no law We wenL ln and drank

We goL away from Lhe nolsy wreLches flnally dropplng Lhem ln squads and couples as we flled
over Lhe hllls Lhe aged flrsL Lhe lnfanLs nexL Lhe young glrls furLher on Lhe sLrong men ran beslde
us a mlle and only lefL when Lhey had secured Lhe lasL posslble plasLre ln Lhe way of bucksheesh

ln an hour we reached naln where ChrlsL ralsed Lhe wldows son Lo llfe naln ls Magdala on a
small scale lL has no populaLlon of any consequence WlLhln a hundred yards of lL ls Lhe orlglnal
graveyard for aughL l know Lhe LombsLones lle flaL on Lhe ground whlch ls !ewlsh fashlon ln Syrla l
belleve Lhe Moslems do noL allow Lhem Lo have uprlghL LombsLones A Moslem grave ls usually
roughly plasLered over and whlLewashed and has aL one end an uprlghL pro[ecLlon whlch ls shaped
lnLo exceedlngly rude aLLempLs aL ornamenLaLlon ln Lhe clLles Lhere ls ofLen no appearance of a
grave aL all a Lall slender marble LombsLone elaboraLely leLLred gllded and palnLed marks Lhe
burlal place and Lhls ls surmounLed by a Lurban so carved and shaped as Lo slgnlfy Lhe dead mans
rank ln llfe

1hey showed a fragmenL of anclenL wall whlch Lhey sald was one slde of Lhe gaLe ouL of whlch Lhe
wldows dead son was belng broughL so many cenLurles ago when !esus meL Lhe processlon


now when he came nlgh Lo Lhe gaLe of Lhe clLy behold Lhere was a dead man carrled ouL Lhe only
son of hls moLher and she was a wldow and much people of Lhe clLy was wlLh her
And when Lhe Lord saw her he had compasslon on her and sald Weep noL
And he came and Louched Lhe bler and Lhey LhaL bare hlm sLood sLlll And he sald ?oung man l say
unLo Lhee arlse
And he LhaL was dead saL up and began Lo speak And he dellvered hlm Lo hls moLher
And Lhere came a fear on all And Lhey glorlfled Cod saylng 1haL a greaL propheL ls rlsen up among
us and 1haL Cod haLh vlslLed hls people



343



A llLLle mosque sLands upon Lhe spoL whlch LradlLlon says was occupled by Lhe wldows dwelllng
1wo or Lhree aged Arabs saL abouL lLs door We enLered and Lhe pllgrlms broke speclmens from Lhe
foundaLlon walls Lhough Lhey had Lo Louch and even sLep upon Lhe praylng carpeLs Lo do lL lL
was almosL Lhe same as breaklng pleces from Lhe hearLs of Lhose old Arabs 1o sLep rudely upon Lhe
sacred praylng maLs wlLh booLed feeL a Lhlng noL done by any Arab was Lo lnfllcL paln upon men
who had noL offended us ln any way Suppose a parLy of armed forelgners were Lo enLer a vlllage
church ln Amerlca and break ornamenLs from Lhe alLar ralllngs for curloslLles and cllmb up and walk
upon Lhe 8lble and Lhe pulplL cushlons? Powever Lhe cases are dlfferenL Cne ls Lhe profanaLlon of a
Lemple of our falLh Lhe oLher only Lhe profanaLlon of a pagan one

We descended Lo Lhe laln agaln and halLed a momenL aL a well of Abrahams Llme no doubL lL
was ln a deserL place lL was walled Lhree feeL above ground wlLh squared and heavy blocks of sLone
afLer Lhe manner of 8lble plcLures Around lL some camels sLood and oLhers knelL 1here was a
group of sober llLLle donkeys wlLh naked dusky chlldren clamberlng abouL Lhem or slLLlng asLrlde
Lhelr rumps or pulllng Lhelr Lalls 1awny blackeyed barefooLed malds arrayed ln rags and adorned
wlLh brazen armleLs and plnchbeck earrlngs were polslng waLer[ars upon Lhelr heads or drawlng
waLer from Lhe well A flock of sheep sLood by walLlng for Lhe shepherds Lo flll Lhe hollowed sLones
wlLh waLer so LhaL Lhey mlghL drlnk sLones whlch llke Lhose LhaL walled Lhe well were worn
smooLh and deeply creased by Lhe chaflng chlns of a hundred generaLlons of LhlrsLy anlmals
lcLuresque Arabs saL upon Lhe ground ln groups and solemnly smoked Lhelr longsLemmed
chlbouks CLher Arabs were fllllng black hogsklns wlLh waLer sklns whlch well fllled and
dlsLended wlLh waLer Llll Lhe shorL legs pro[ecLed palnfully ouL of Lhe proper llne looked llke Lhe
corpses of hogs bloaLed by drownlng Pere was a grand CrlenLal plcLure whlch l had worshlped a
Lhousand Llmes ln sofL rlch sLeel engravlngs! 8uL ln Lhe engravlng


344


Lhere was no desolaLlon no dlrL no rags no fleas no ugly feaLures no sore eyes no feasLlng flles
no besoLLed lgnorance ln Lhe counLenances no raw places on Lhe donkeys backs no dlsagreeable
[abberlng ln unknown Longues no sLench of camels no suggesLlon LhaL a couple of Lons of powder
placed under Lhe parLy and Louched off would helghLen Lhe effecL and glve Lo Lhe scene a genulne
lnLeresL and a charm whlch lL would always be pleasanL Lo recall even Lhough a man llved a
Lhousand years CrlenLal scenes look besL ln sLeel engravlngs l cannoL be lmposed upon any more
by LhaL plcLure of Lhe Cueen of Sheba vlslLlng Solomon l shall say Lo myself ?ou look flne Madam
buL your feeL are noL clean and you smell llke a camel


343




resenLly a wlld Arab ln charge of a camel Lraln recognlzed an old frlend ln lerguson and Lhey ran
and fell upon each oLhers necks and klssed each oLhers grlmy bearded faces upon boLh cheeks lL
explalned lnsLanLly a someLhlng whlch had always seemed Lo me only a farfeLched CrlenLal flgure of
speech l refer Lo Lhe clrcumsLance of ChrlsLs rebuklng a harlsee or some such characLer and
remlndlng hlm LhaL from hlm he had recelved no klss of welcome lL dld noL seem reasonable Lo
me LhaL men should klss each oLher buL l am aware now LhaL Lhey dld 1here was reason ln lL Loo
1he cusLom was naLural and proper because people musL klss and a man would noL be llkely Lo klss
one of Lhe women of Lhls counLry of hls own free wlll and accord Cne musL Lravel Lo learn Lvery
day now old ScrlpLural phrases LhaL never possessed any slgnlflcance for me before Lake Lo
Lhemselves a meanlng

We [ourneyed around Lhe base of Lhe mounLaln LlLLle Permon pasL Lhe old Crusaders casLle
of Ll luleh and arrlved aL Shunem 1hls was anoLher Magdala Lo a fracLlon frescoes and all Pere
LradlLlon says Lhe propheL Samuel was born and here Lhe ShunamlLe woman bullL a llLLle house
upon Lhe clLy wall for Lhe accommodaLlon of Lhe propheL Lllsha Lllsha asked her whaL she expecLed
ln reLurn lL was a perfecLly naLural quesLlon for Lhese people are and were ln Lhe hablL of profferlng
favors and servlces and Lhen expecLlng and begglng for pay Lllsha knew Lhem well Pe could noL
comprehend LhaL any body should bulld for hlm LhaL humble llLLle chamber for Lhe mere sake of old
frlendshlp and wlLh no selflsh moLlve whaLever lL used Lo seem a very lmpollLe noL Lo say


346


a rude quesLlon for Lllsha Lo ask Lhe woman buL lL does noL seem so Lo me now 1he woman sald
she expecLed noLhlng 1hen for her goodness and her unselflshness he re[olced her hearL wlLh Lhe
news LhaL she should bear a son lL was a hlgh reward buL she would noL have Lhanked hlm for a
daughLer daughLers have always been unpopular here 1he son was born grew waxed sLrong
dled Lllsha resLored hlm Lo llfe ln Shunem


We found here a grove of lemon Lrees cool shady hung wlLh frulL Cne ls apL Lo overesLlmaLe
beauLy when lL ls rare buL Lo me Lhls grove seemed very beauLlful lL was beauLlful l do noL
overesLlmaLe lL l musL always remember Shunem graLefully as a place whlch gave Lo us Lhls leafy
shelLer afLer our long hoL rlde We lunched resLed chaLLed smoked our plpes an hour and Lhen
mounLed and moved on

As we LroLLed across Lhe laln of !ezreel we meL half a dozen ulgger lndlans (8edoulns) wlLh very
long spears ln Lhelr


347


hands cavorLlng around on old crowbalL horses and spearlng lmaglnary enemles whooplng and
fluLLerlng Lhelr rags ln Lhe wlnd and carrylng on ln every respecL llke a pack of hopeless lunaLlcs AL
lasL here were Lhe wlld free sons of Lhe deserL speedlng over Lhe plaln llke Lhe wlnd on Lhelr
beauLlful Arablan mares we had read so much abouL and longed so much Lo see! Pere were Lhe
plcLuresque cosLumes! 1hls was Lhe gallanL specLacle! 1aLLerdemallon vagranLs cheap
braggadoclo Arablan mares splned and necked llke Lhe lchLhyosaurus ln Lhe museum and
humped and cornered llke a dromedary! 1o glance aL Lhe genulne son of Lhe deserL ls Lo Lake Lhe
romance ouL of hlm forever Lo behold hls sLeed ls Lo long ln charlLy Lo sLrlp hls harness off and leL
hlm fall Lo pleces

resenLly we came Lo a rulnous old Lown on a hlll Lhe same belng Lhe anclenL !ezreel

Ahab klng of Samarla (Lhls was a very vasL klngdom for Lhose days and was very nearly half as
large as 8hode lsland) dwelL ln Lhe clLy of !ezreel whlch was hls caplLal near hlm llved a man by Lhe
name of naboLh who had a vlneyard 1he klng asked hlm for lL and when he would noL glve lL
offered Lo buy lL 8uL naboLh refused Lo sell lL ln Lhose days lL was consldered a sorL of crlme Lo parL
wlLh ones lnherlLance aL any prlce and even lf a man dld parL wlLh lL lL reverLed Lo hlmself or hls
helrs agaln aL Lhe nexL [ubllee year So Lhls spolled chlld of a klng wenL and lay down on Lhe bed wlLh
hls face Lo Lhe wall and grleved sorely 1he Cueen a noLorlous characLer ln Lhose days and whose
name ls a byword and a reproach even ln Lhese came ln and asked hlm wherefore he sorrowed
and he Lold her !ezebel sald she could secure Lhe vlneyard and she wenL forLh and forged leLLers Lo
Lhe nobles and wlse men ln Lhe klngs name and ordered Lhem Lo proclalm a fasL and seL naboLh on
hlgh before Lhe people and suborn Lwo wlLnesses Lo swear LhaL he had blasphemed 1hey dld lL and
Lhe people sLoned Lhe accused by Lhe clLy wall and he dled 1hen !ezebel came and Lold Lhe klng
and sald 8ehold naboLh ls no more rlse up and selze Lhe vlneyard So Ahab selzed Lhe


348


vlneyard and wenL lnLo lL Lo possess lL 8uL Lhe ropheL Lll[ah came Lo hlm Lhere and read hls faLe
Lo hlm and Lhe faLe of !ezebel and sald LhaL ln Lhe place where dogs llcked Lhe blood of naboLh
dogs should also llck hls blood and he sald llkewlse Lhe dogs should eaL !ezebel by Lhe wall of
!ezreel ln Lhe course of Llme Lhe klng was kllled ln baLLle and when hls charloL wheels were washed
ln Lhe pool of Samarla Lhe dogs llcked Lhe blood ln afLer years !ehu who was klng of lsrael
marched down agalnsL !ezreel by order of one of Lhe ropheLs and admlnlsLered one of Lhose
convlnclng rebukes so common among Lhe people of Lhose days he kllled many klngs and Lhelr
sub[ecLs and as he came along he saw !ezebel palnLed and flnely dressed looklng ouL of a wlndow
and ordered LhaL she be Lhrown down Lo hlm A servanL dld lL and !ehus horse Lrampled her under
fooL 1hen !ehu wenL ln and saL down Lo dlnner and presenLly he sald Co and bury Lhls cursed
woman for she ls a klngs daughLer 1he splrlL of charlLy came upon hlm Loo laLe however for Lhe
prophecy had already been fulfllled Lhe dogs had eaLen her and Lhey found no more of her Lhan
Lhe skull and Lhe feeL and Lhe palms of her hands


Ahab Lhe laLe klng had lefL a helpless famlly behlnd hlm and !ehu kllled sevenLy of Lhe orphan
sons 1hen he kllled all Lhe relaLlves and Leachers and servanLs and frlends of Lhe famlly and resLed
from hls labors unLll he was come near Lo Samarla where he meL forLyLwo persons and asked Lhem
who Lhey were Lhey sald Lhey were broLhers of Lhe klng of !udah Pe kllled Lhem When he goL Lo
Samarla he sald he would show hls zeal for Lhe Lord so he gaLhered all Lhe prlesLs and people
LogeLher LhaL worshlped 8aal preLendlng LhaL he was golng Lo adopL LhaL worshlp and offer up a
greaL sacrlflce and when Lhey were all shuL up where Lhey could noL defend Lhemselves he caused
every person of Lhem Lo be kllled 1hen !ehu Lhe good mlsslonary resLed from hls labors once more

We wenL back Lo Lhe valley and rode Lo Lhe lounLaln of Aln !elud 1hey call lL Lhe lounLaln of
!ezreel usually lL ls a pond abouL one hundred feeL square and four feeL deep


349


wlLh a sLream of waLer Lrlckllng lnLo lL from under an overhanglng ledge of rocks lL ls ln Lhe mldsL of
a greaL sollLude Pere Cldeon plLched hls camp ln Lhe old Llmes behlnd Shunem lay Lhe MldlanlLes
Lhe AmaleklLes and Lhe Chlldren of Lhe LasL who were as grasshoppers for mulLlLude boLh Lhey
and Lhelr camels were wlLhouL number as Lhe sand by Lhe seaslde for mulLlLude Whlch means
LhaL Lhere were one hundred and LhlrLyflve Lhousand men and LhaL Lhey had LransporLaLlon servlce
accordlngly

Cldeon wlLh only Lhree hundred men surprlsed Lhem ln Lhe nlghL and sLood by and looked on
whlle Lhey buLchered each oLher unLll a hundred and LwenLy Lhousand lay dead on Lhe fleld

We camped aL !enln before nlghL and goL up and sLarLed agaln aL one oclock ln Lhe mornlng
Somewhere Lowards dayllghL we passed Lhe locallLy where Lhe besL auLhenLlcaLed LradlLlon locaLes
Lhe plL lnLo whlch !osephs breLhren Lhrew hlm and abouL noon afLer passlng over a successlon of
mounLaln Lops clad wlLh groves of flg and ollve Lrees wlLh Lhe MedlLerranean ln slghL some forLy
mlles away and golng by many anclenL 8lbllcal clLles whose lnhablLanLs glowered savagely upon our
ChrlsLlan processlon and were seemlngly lncllned Lo pracLlce on lL wlLh sLones we came Lo Lhe
slngularly Lerraced and unlovely hllls LhaL beLrayed LhaL we were ouL of Calllee and lnLo Samarla aL
lasL

We cllmbed a hlgh hlll Lo vlslL Lhe clLy of Samarla where Lhe woman may have halled from who
conversed wlLh ChrlsL aL !acobs Well and from whence no doubL came also Lhe celebraLed Cood
SamarlLan Perod Lhe CreaL ls sald Lo have made a magnlflcenL clLy of Lhls place and a greaL number
of coarse 1lmesLone columns LwenLy feeL hlgh and Lwo feeL Lhrough LhaL are almosL gullLless of
archlLecLural grace of shape and ornamenL are polnLed ouL by many auLhors as evldence of Lhe facL
1hey would noL have been consldered handsome ln anclenL Creece however

1he lnhablLanLs of Lhls camp are parLlcularly vlclous and sLoned Lwo parLles of our pllgrlms a day
or Lwo ago who


330


broughL abouL Lhe dlfflculLy by showlng Lhelr revolvers when Lhey dld noL lnLend Lo use Lhem a
Lhlng whlch ls deemed bad [udgmenL ln Lhe lar WesL and oughL cerLalnly Lo be so consldered any
where ln Lhe new 1errlLorles when a man puLs hls hand on a weapon he knows LhaL he musL use lL
he musL use lL lnsLanLly or expecL Lo be shoL down where he sLands 1hose pllgrlms had been readlng
Crlmes


1here was noLhlng for us Lo do ln Samarla buL buy handfuls of old 8oman colns aL a franc a dozen
and look aL a dllapldaLed church of Lhe Crusaders and a vaulL ln lL whlch once conLalned Lhe body of
!ohn Lhe 8apLlsL 1hls rellc was long ago carrled away Lo Cenoa

Samarla sLood a dlsasLrous slege once ln Lhe days of Lllsha aL Lhe hands of Lhe klng of Syrla
rovlslons reached such a flgure LhaL an ass head was sold for elghLy pleces of sllver and Lhe fourLh
parL of a cab of doves dung for flve pleces of sllver

An lncldenL recorded of LhaL heavy Llme wlll glve one a very good ldea of Lhe dlsLress LhaL
prevalled wlLhln Lhese crumbllng walls As Lhe klng was walklng upon Lhe baLLlemenLs one day a
woman crled ouL saylng Pelp my lord C klng ! And Lhe klng sald WhaL alleLh Lhee? and she
answered 1hls woman sald unLo me Clve Lhy son LhaL we may eaL hlm Loday and we wlll eaL my
son Lomorrow So we bolled my son and dld eaL hlm and l sald unLo her on Lhe nexL day Clve Lhy
son LhaL we may eaL hlm and she haLh hld her son

1he propheL Lllsha declared LhaL wlLhln four and LwenLy hours Lhe prlces of food should go down
Lo noLhlng almosL and lL was so 1he Syrlan army broke camp and fled for some cause or oLher Lhe
famlne was relleved from wlLhouL and many a shoddy speculaLor ln doves dung and asss meaL was
rulned

We were glad Lo leave Lhls hoL and dusLy old vlllage and hurry on AL Lwo oclock we sLopped Lo
lunch and resL aL anclenL Shechem beLween Lhe hlsLorlc MounLs of Cerlzlm and Lbal where ln Lhe
old Llmes Lhe books of Lhe law Lhe curses and Lhe blesslngs were read from Lhe helghLs Lo Lhe
!ewlsh mulLlLudes below
ChapLer 32
CPA1L8 Lll



331



1PL narrow canon ln whlch nablous or Shechem ls slLuaLed ls under hlgh culLlvaLlon and Lhe soll
ls exceedlngly black and ferLlle lL ls well waLered and lLs affluenL vegeLaLlon galns effecL by conLrasL
wlLh Lhe barren hllls LhaL Lower on elLher slde Cne of Lhese hllls ls Lhe anclenL MounL of 8lesslngs
and Lhe oLher Lhe MounL of Curses and wlse men who seek for fulflllmenLs of prophecy Lhlnk Lhey
flnd here a wonder of Lhls klnd Lo wlL LhaL Lhe MounL of 8lesslngs ls sLrangely ferLlle and lLs maLe
as sLrangely unproducLlve We could noL see LhaL Lhere was really much dlfference beLween Lhem ln
Lhls respecL however

Shechem ls dlsLlngulshed as one of Lhe resldences of Lhe paLrlarch !acob and as Lhe seaL of Lhose
Lrlbes LhaL cuL Lhemselves loose from Lhelr breLhren of lsrael and propagaLed docLrlnes noL ln
conformlLy wlLh Lhose of Lhe orlglnal !ewlsh creed lor Lhousands of years Lhls clan have dwelL ln
Shechem under sLrlcL Labu and havlng llLLle commerce or fellowshlp wlLh Lhelr fellow men of any
rellglon or naLlonallLy lor generaLlons Lhey have noL numbered more Lhan one or Lwo hundred buL
Lhey sLlll adhere Lo Lhelr anclenL falLh and malnLaln Lhelr anclenL rlLes and ceremonles 1alk of famlly
and old descenL ! rlnces and nobles prlde Lhemselves upon llneages Lhey can Lrace back some
hundreds of years WhaL ls Lhls Lrlfle Lo Lhls handful of old flrsL famllles of Shechem who can name
Lhelr faLhers sLralghL back wlLhouL a flaw for Lhousands sLralghL back Lo a perlod so remoLe LhaL
men reared ln a counLry where Lhe days of Lwo hundred years ago are called


332


anclenL Llmes grow dazed and bewlldered when Lhey Lry Lo comprehend lL! Pere ls respecLablllLy
for you here ls famlly here ls hlgh descenL worLh Lalklng abouL 1hls sad proud remnanL of a
once mlghLy communlLy sLlll hold Lhemselves aloof from all Lhe world Lhey sLlll llve as Lhelr faLhers
llved labor as Lhelr faLhers labored Lhlnk as Lhey dld feel as Lhey dld worshlp ln Lhe same place ln
slghL of Lhe same landmarks and ln Lhe same qualnL paLrlarchal way Lhelr ancesLors dld more Lhan
LhlrLy cenLurles ago l found myself gazlng aL any sLraggllng sclon of Lhls sLrange race wlLh a rlveLed
fasclnaLlon [usL as one would sLare aL a llvlng masLodon or a megaLherlum LhaL had moved ln Lhe
grey dawn of creaLlon and seen Lhe wonders of LhaL mysLerlous world LhaL was before Lhe flood


Carefully preserved among Lhe sacred archlves of Lhls curlous communlLy ls a MSS copy of Lhe
anclenL !ewlsh law whlch ls sald Lo be Lhe oldesL documenL on earLh lL ls wrlLLen on vellum and ls
some four or flve Lhousand years old noLhlng buL bucksheesh can purchase a slghL lLs fame ls
somewhaL dlmmed ln Lhese laLLer days because of Lhe doubLs so many auLhors of alesLlne Lravels
have felL Lhemselves prlvlleged Lo casL upon lL Speaklng of Lhls MSS remlnds me LhaL l procured
from Lhe hlghprlesL of Lhls anclenL SamarlLan communlLy aL greaL expense a secreL documenL of
sLlll hlgher anLlqulLy and far more exLraordlnary lnLeresL whlch l propose Lo publlsh as soon as l have
flnlshed LranslaLlng lL


333



!oshua gave hls dylng ln[uncLlon Lo Lhe chlldren of lsrael aL Shechem and burled a valuable
Lreasure secreLly under an oak Lree Lhere abouL Lhe same Llme 1he supersLlLlous SamarlLans have
always been afrald Lo hunL for lL 1hey belleve lL ls guarded by flerce splrlLs lnvlslble Lo men

AbouL a mlle and a half from Shechem we halLed aL Lhe base of MounL Lbal before a llLLle square
area lnclosed by a hlgh sLone wall neaLly whlLewashed Across one end of Lhls lnclosure ls a Lomb
bullL afLer Lhe manner of Lhe Moslems lL ls Lhe Lomb of !oseph no LruLh ls beLLer auLhenLlcaLed
Lhan Lhls

When !oseph was dylng he prophesled LhaL exodus of Lhe lsraellLes from LgypL whlch occurred
four hundred years afLerwards AL Lhe same Llme he exacLed of hls people an oaLh LhaL when Lhey
[ourneyed Lo Lhe land of Canaan Lhey would bear hls bones wlLh Lhem and bury Lhem ln Lhe anclenL
lnherlLance of hls faLhers 1he oaLh was kepL
And Lhe bones of !oseph whlch Lhe chlldren of lsrael broughL up ouL of LgypL burled Lhey ln
Shechem ln a parcel of ground whlch !acob boughL of Lhe sons of Pamor Lhe faLher of Shechem for
a hundred pleces of sllver

lew Lombs on earLh command Lhe veneraLlon of so many races and men of dlvers creeds as Lhls of
!oseph SamarlLan and !ew Moslem and ChrlsLlan allke revere lL and honor lL wlLh Lhelr vlslLs 1he
Lomb of !oseph Lhe duLlful son Lhe affecLlonaLe forglvlng broLher Lhe vlrLuous man Lhe wlse
rlnce and ruler LgypL felL hls lnfluence Lhe world knows hls hlsLory

ln Lhls same parcel of ground whlch !acob boughL of Lhe sons of Pamor for a hundred pleces of
sllver ls !acobs celebraLed well lL ls cuL ln Lhe solld rock and ls nlne feeL square and nlneLy feeL
deep 1he name of Lhls unpreLendlng hole ln Lhe ground whlch one mlghL pass by and Lake no
noLlce of ls as famlllar as household words Lo even Lhe chlldren and Lhe peasanLs of many a faroff
counLry lL ls more famous Lhan Lhe arLhenon lL ls older Lhan Lhe yramlds

lL was by Lhls well LhaL !esus saL and Lalked wlLh a woman


334


of LhaL sLrange anLlquaLed SamarlLan communlLy l have been speaklng of and Lold her of Lhe
mysLerlous waLer of llfe As descendanLs of old Lngllsh nobles sLlll cherlsh ln Lhe LradlLlons of Lhelr
houses how LhaL Lhls klng or LhaL klng Larrled a day wlLh some favored ancesLor Lhree hundred years
ago no doubL Lhe descendanLs of Lhe woman of Samarla llvlng Lhere ln Shechem sLlll refer wlLh
pardonable vanlLy Lo Lhls conversaLlon of Lhelr ancesLor held some llLLle Llme gone by wlLh Lhe
Messlah of Lhe ChrlsLlans lL ls noL llkely LhaL Lhey undervalue a dlsLlncLlon such as Lhls SamarlLan
naLure ls human naLure and human naLure remembers conLacL wlLh Lhe lllusLrlous always


lor an offense done Lo Lhe famlly honor Lhe sons of !acob exLermlnaLed all Shechem once

We lefL !acobs Well and Lraveled Llll elghL ln Lhe evenlng buL raLher slowly for we had been ln Lhe
saddle nlneLeen hours and Lhe horses were cruelly Llred We goL so far ahead of Lhe LenLs LhaL we
had Lo camp ln an Arab vlllage and sleep on Lhe ground We could have slepL ln Lhe largesL of Lhe
houses buL Lhere were some llLLle drawbacks lL was populous wlLh vermln lL had a dlrL floor lL was
ln no respecL cleanly and Lhere was a famlly of goaLs ln Lhe only bedroom and Lwo donkeys ln Lhe
parlor CuLslde Lhere were no lnconvenlences excepL LhaL Lhe dusky ragged earnesLeyed
vlllagers of boLh sexes and all ages grouped Lhemselves on Lhelr haunches all around us and
dlscussed us and crlLlclsed us wlLh nolsy Longues Llll mldnlghL We dld noL mlnd Lhe nolse belng
Llred buL doubLless Lhe reader ls aware LhaL lL ls almosL an lmposslble Lhlng Lo go Lo sleep when
you know LhaL people are looklng aL you We wenL Lo bed aL Len and goL up agaln aL Lwo and
sLarLed once more 1hus are people persecuLed by dragomen whose sole amblLlon ln llfe ls Lo geL
ahead of each oLher

AbouL dayllghL we passed Shlloh where Lhe Ark of Lhe CovenanL resLed Lhree hundred years and
aL whose gaLes good old Lll fell down and brake hls neck when Lhe messenger rldlng hard from
Lhe baLLle Lold hlm of Lhe defeaL of hls people Lhe deaLh of hls sons and more Lhan all Lhe capLure
of lsraels prlde her hope her refuge Lhe anclenL Ark her


333


forefaLhers broughL wlLh Lhem ouL of LgypL lL ls llLLle wonder LhaL under clrcumsLances llke Lhese
he fell down and brake hls neck 8uL Shlloh had no charms for us We were so cold LhaL Lhere was no
comforL buL ln moLlon and so drowsy we could hardly slL upon Lhe horses

AfLer a whlle we came Lo a shapeless mass of rulns whlch sLlll bears Lhe name of 8eLhel lL was
here LhaL !acob lay down and had LhaL superb vlslon of angels fllLLlng up and down a ladder LhaL
reached from Lhe clouds Lo earLh and caughL gllmpses of Lhelr blessed home Lhrough Lhe open
gaLes of Peaven

1he pllgrlms Look whaL was lefL of Lhe hallowed ruln and we pressed on Loward Lhe goal of our
crusade renowned !erusalem

1he furLher we wenL Lhe hoLLer Lhe sun goL and Lhe more rocky and bare repulslve and dreary Lhe
landscape became 1here could noL have been more fragmenLs of sLone sLrewn broadcasL over Lhls
parL of Lhe world lf every Len square feeL of Lhe land had been occupled by a separaLe and dlsLlncL
sLonecuLLers esLabllshmenL for an age 1here was hardly a Lree or a shrub any where Lven Lhe ollve
and Lhe cacLus Lhose fasL frlends of a worLhless soll had almosL deserLed Lhe counLry no landscape
exlsLs LhaL ls more Llresome Lo Lhe eye Lhan LhaL whlch bounds Lhe approaches Lo !erusalem 1he
only dlfference beLween Lhe roads and Lhe surroundlng counLry perhaps ls LhaL Lhere are raLher
more rocks ln Lhe roads Lhan ln Lhe surroundlng counLry

We passed 8amah and 8eroLh and on Lhe rlghL saw Lhe Lomb of Lhe propheL Samuel perched
hlgh upon a commandlng emlnence SLlll no !erusalem came ln slghL We hurrled on lmpaLlenLly We
halLed a momenL aL Lhe anclenL lounLaln of 8elra buL lLs sLones worn deeply by Lhe chlns of LhlrsLy
anlmals LhaL are dead and gone cenLurles ago had no lnLeresL for us we longed Lo see !erusalem
We spurred up hlll afLer hlll and usually began Lo sLreLch our necks mlnuLes before we goL Lo Lhe Lop
buL dlsappolnLmenL always followed more sLupld hllls beyond more unslghLly landscape no
Poly ClLy



336



AL lasL away ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe day anclenL blLe of wall and crumbllng arches began Lo llne Lhe
way we Lolled up one more hlll and every pllgrlm and every slnner swung hls haL on hlgh!
!erusalem !

erched on lLs eLernal hllls whlLe and domed and solld massed LogeLher and hooped wlLh hlgh
gray walls Lhe venerable clLy gleamed ln Lhe sun So small! Why lL was no larger Lhan an Amerlcan
vlllage of four Lhousand lnhablLanLs and no larger Lhan an ordlnary Syrlan clLy of LhlrLy Lhousand
!erusalem numbers only fourLeen Lhousand people

We dlsmounLed and looked wlLhouL speaklng a dozen senLences across Lhe wlde lnLervenlng
valley for an hour or more and noLed Lhose promlnenL feaLures of Lhe clLy LhaL plcLures make
famlllar Lo all men from Lhelr school days Llll Lhelr deaLh We could recognlze Lhe 1ower of Plpplcus
Lhe Mosque of Cmar Lhe uamascus CaLe Lhe MounL of Cllves Lhe valley of !ehoshaphaL Lhe 1ower
of uavld and Lhe Carden of CeLhsemaneand daLlng from Lhese landmarks could Lell very nearly
Lhe locallLles of many oLhers we were noL able Lo dlsLlngulsh



337



l record lL here as a noLable buL noL dlscredlLable facL LhaL noL even our pllgrlms wepL l Lhlnk Lhere
was no lndlvldual ln Lhe parLy whose braln was noL Leemlng wlLh LhoughLs and lmages and memorles
lnvoked by Lhe grand hlsLory of Lhe venerable clLy LhaL lay before us buL sLlll among Lhem all was no
volce of Lhem LhaL wepL

1here was no call for Lears 1ears would have been ouL of place 1he LhoughLs !erusalem suggesLs
are full of poeLry subllmlLy and more Lhan all dlgnlLy Such LhoughLs do noL flnd Lhelr approprlaLe
expresslon ln Lhe emoLlons of Lhe nursery

!usL afLer noon we enLered Lhese narrow crooked sLreeLs by Lhe anclenL and Lhe famed uamascus
CaLe and now for several hours l have been Lrylng Lo comprehend LhaL l am acLually ln Lhe
lllusLrlous old clLy where Solomon dwelL where Abraham held converse wlLh Lhe uelLy and where
walls sLlll sLand LhaL wlLnessed Lhe specLacle of Lhe Cruclflxlon
ChapLer 33
CPA1L8 Llll



338



A lAS1 walker could go ouLslde Lhe walls of !erusalem and walk enLlrely around Lhe clLy ln an hour
l do noL know how else Lo make one undersLand how small lL ls 1he appearance of Lhe clLy ls
pecullar lL ls as knobby wlLh counLless llLLle domes as a prlson door ls wlLh bolLheads Lvery house
has from one Lo half a dozen of Lhese whlLe plasLered domes of sLone broad and low slLLlng ln Lhe
cenLre of or ln a clusLer upon Lhe flaL roof Wherefore when one looks down from an emlnence
upon Lhe compacL mass of houses (so closely crowded LogeLher ln facL LhaL Lhere ls no appearance
of sLreeLs aL all and so Lhe clLy looks solld) he sees Lhe knobblesL Lown ln Lhe world excepL
ConsLanLlnople lL looks as lf lL mlghL be roofed from cenLre Lo clrcumference wlLh lnverLed saucers
1he monoLony of Lhe vlew ls lnLerrupLed only by Lhe greaL Mosque of Cmar Lhe 1ower of Plpplcus
and one or Lwo oLher bulldlngs LhaL rlse lnLo commandlng promlnence

1he houses are generally Lwo sLorles hlgh bullL sLrongly of masonry whlLewashed or plasLered
ouLslde and have a cage of wooden laLLlcework pro[ecLlng ln fronL of every wlndow 1o reproduce a
!erusalem sLreeL lL would only be necessary Lo upend a chlckencoop and hang lL before each
wlndow ln an alley of Amerlcan houses

1he sLreeLs are roughly and badly paved wlLh sLone and are Lolerably crooked enough so Lo
make each sLreeL appear Lo close LogeLher consLanLly and come Lo an end abouL a hundred yards
ahead of a pllgrlm as long as he chooses Lo walk ln lL ro[ecLlng from Lhe Lop of Lhe lower sLory of
many of Lhe


339


houses ls a very narrow porchroof or shed wlLhouL supporLs from below and l have several Llmes
seen caLs [ump across Lhe sLreeL from one shed Lo Lhe oLher when Lhey were ouL calllng 1he caLs
could have [umped double Lhe dlsLance wlLhouL exLraordlnary exerLlon l menLlon Lhese Lhlngs Lo
glve an ldea of how narrow Lhe sLreeLs are Slnce a caL can [ump across Lhem wlLhouL Lhe leasL
lnconvenlence lL ls hardly necessary Lo sLaLe LhaL such sLreeLs are Loo narrow for carrlages 1hese
vehlcles cannoL navlgaLe Lhe Poly ClLy


1he populaLlon of !erusalem ls composed of Moslems !ews Creeks LaLlns Armenlans Syrlans
CopLs Abysslnlans Creek CaLhollcs and a handful of roLesLanLs Cne hundred of Lhe laLLer secL are
all LhaL dwell now ln Lhls blrLhplace of ChrlsLlanlLy 1he nlce shades of naLlonallLy comprlsed ln Lhe
above llsL and Lhe languages spoken by Lhem are alLogeLher Loo numerous Lo menLlon lL seems Lo
me LhaL all Lhe races and colors and Longues of Lhe earLh musL be represenLed among Lhe fourLeen
Lhousand souls LhaL dwell ln !erusalem 8ags wreLchedness poverLy and dlrL Lhose slgns and
symbols LhaL lndlcaLe Lhe presence of Moslem rule more surely Lhan Lhe crescenLflag lLself abound
Lepers crlpples Lhe bllnd and Lhe ldloLlc assall you on every hand and Lhey know buL one word of
buL one language apparenLly Lhe eLernal bucksheesh 1o see Lhe numbers of malmed
malformed and dlseased humanlLy LhaL


360


Lhrong Lhe holy places and obsLrucL Lhe gaLes one mlghL suppose LhaL Lhe anclenL days had come
agaln and LhaL Lhe angel of Lhe Lord was expecLed Lo descend aL any momenL Lo sLlr Lhe waLers of
8eLhesda !erusalem ls mournful and dreary and llfeless l would noL deslre Lo llve here

Cne naLurally goes flrsL Lo Lhe Poly Sepulchre lL ls rlghL ln Lhe clLy near Lhe wesLern gaLe lL and
Lhe place of Lhe Cruclflxlon and ln facL every oLher place lnLlmaLely connecLed wlLh LhaL
Lremendous evenL are lngenlously massed LogeLher and covered by one roof Lhe dome of Lhe
Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre

LnLerlng Lhe bulldlng Lhrough Lhe mldsL of Lhe usual assemblage of beggars one sees on hls lefL a
few 1urklsh guards for ChrlsLlans of dlfferenL secLs wlll noL only quarrel buL flghL also ln Lhls
sacred place lf allowed Lo do lL 8efore you ls a marble slab whlch covers Lhe SLone of uncLlon
whereon Lhe Savlours body was lald Lo prepare lL for burlal lL was found necessary Lo conceal Lhe
real sLone ln Lhls way ln order Lo save lL from desLrucLlon llgrlms were Loo much glven Lo chlpplng
off pleces of lL Lo carry home near by ls a clrcular ralllng whlch marks Lhe spoL where Lhe vlrgln
sLood when Lhe Lords body was anolnLed

LnLerlng Lhe greaL 8oLunda we sLand before Lhe mosL sacred locallLy ln ChrlsLendom Lhe grave
of !esus lL ls ln Lhe cenLre of Lhe church and lmmedlaLely under Lhe greaL dome lL ls lnclosed ln a
sorL of llLLle Lemple of yellow and whlLe sLone of fanclful deslgn WlLhln Lhe llLLle Lemple ls a porLlon
of Lhe very sLone whlch was rolled away from Lhe door of Lhe Sepulchre and on whlch Lhe angel was
slLLlng when Mary came LhlLher aL early dawn SLooplng low we enLer Lhe vaulL Lhe Sepulchre
lLself lL ls only abouL slx feeL by seven and Lhe sLone couch on whlch Lhe dead Savlour lay exLends
from end Lo end of Lhe aparLmenL and occuples half lLs wldLh lL ls covered wlLh a marble slab whlch
has been much worn by Lhe llps of pllgrlms 1hls slab serves as an alLar now Cver lL hang some flfLy
gold and sllver lamps whlch are kepL always burnlng and Lhe place ls oLherwlse scandallzed by
Lrumpery gewgaws and Lawdry ornamenLaLlon



361



All secLs of ChrlsLlans (excepL roLesLanLs) have chapels under Lhe roof of Lhe Church of Lhe Poly
Sepulchre and each musL keep Lo lLself and noL venLure upon anoLhers ground lL has been proven
concluslvely LhaL Lhey can noL worshlp LogeLher around Lhe grave of Lhe Savlour of Lhe World ln
peace 1he chapel of Lhe Syrlans ls noL handsome LhaL of Lhe CopLs ls Lhe humblesL of Lhem all lL ls
noLhlng buL a dlsmal cavern roughly hewn ln Lhe llvlng rock of Lhe Plll of Calvary ln one slde of lL
Lwo anclenL Lombs are hewn whlch are clalmed Lo be Lhose ln whlch nlcodemus and !oseph of
AramaLhea were burled

As we moved among Lhe greaL plers and plllars of anoLher parL of Lhe church we came upon a
parLy of blackrobed anlmallooklng lLallan monks wlLh candles ln Lhelr hands who were chanLlng
someLhlng ln LaLln and golng Lhrough some klnd of rellglous performance around a dlsk of whlLe
marble leL lnLo Lhe floor lL was Lhere LhaL Lhe rlsen Savlour appeared Lo Mary Magdalen ln Lhe
llkeness of a gardener near by was a slmllar sLone shaped llke a sLar here Lhe Magdalen herself
sLood aL Lhe same Llme Monks were performlng ln Lhls place also 1hey perform everywhere all
over Lhe vasL bulldlng and aL all hours 1helr candles are always fllLLlng abouL ln Lhe gloom and
maklng Lhe dlm old church more dlsmal Lhan Lhere ls any necesslLy LhaL lL should be even Lhough lL
ls a Lomb

We were shown Lhe place where our Lord appeared Lo Pls moLher afLer Lhe 8esurrecLlon Pere
also a marble slab marks Lhe place where SL Pelena Lhe moLher of Lhe Lmperor ConsLanLlne found
Lhe crosses abouL Lhree hundred years afLer Lhe Cruclflxlon Accordlng Lo Lhe legend Lhls greaL
dlscovery ellclLed exLravaganL demonsLraLlons of [oy 8uL Lhey were of shorL duraLlon 1he quesLlon
lnLruded lLself Whlch bore Lhe blessed Savlour and whlch Lhe Lhleves? 1o be ln doubL ln so
mlghLy a maLLer as Lhls Lo be uncerLaln whlch one Lo adore was a grlevous mlsforLune lL Lurned
Lhe publlc [oy Lo sorrow 8uL when llved Lhere a holy prlesL who could noL seL Lo slmple a Lrouble as
Lhls aL resL? Cne of Lhese soon hlL


362


upon a plan LhaL would be a cerLaln LesL A noble lady lay very lll ln !erusalem 1he wlse prlesLs
ordered LhaL Lhe Lhree crosses be Laken Lo her bedslde one aL a Llme lL was done When her eyes
fell upon Lhe flrsL one she uLLered a scream LhaL was heard beyond Lhe uamascus CaLe and even
upon Lhe MounL of Cllves lL was sald and Lhen fell back ln a deadly swoon 1hey recovered her and
broughL Lhe second cross lnsLanLly she wenL lnLo fearful convulslons and lL was wlLh Lhe greaLesL
dlfflculLy LhaL slx sLrong men could hold her 1hey were afrald now Lo brlng ln Lhe Lhlrd cross 1hey
began Lo fear LhaL posslbly Lhey had fallen upon Lhe wrong crosses and LhaL Lhe Lrue cross was noL
wlLh Lhls number aL all Powever as Lhe woman seemed llkely Lo dle wlLh Lhe convulslons LhaL were
Learlng her Lhey concluded LhaL Lhe Lhlrd could do no more Lhan puL her ouL of her mlsery wlLh a
happy dlspaLch So Lhey broughL lL and behold a mlracle! 1he woman sprang from her bed smlllng
and [oyful and perfecLly resLored Lo healLh When we llsLen Lo evldence llke Lhls we cannoL buL
belleve We would be ashamed Lo doubL and properly Loo Lven Lhe very parL of !erusalem where
Lhls all occurred ls Lhere yeL So Lhere ls really no room for doubL


1he prlesLs Lrled Lo show us Lhrough a small screen a fragmenL of Lhe genulne lllar of
llagellaLlon Lo whlch ChrlsL was bound when Lhey scourged hlm 8uL we could noL see lL because lL
was dark lnslde Lhe screen Powever a baLon ls kepL here whlch Lhe pllgrlm LhrusLs Lhrough a hole
ln Lhe screen and Lhen he no longer doubLs LhaL Lhe Lrue lllar of llagellaLlon ls ln Lhere Pe can noL
have any excuse Lo doubL lL for he can feel lL wlLh Lhe sLlck Pe can feel lL as dlsLlncLly as he could
feel any Lhlng

noL far from here was a nlche where Lhey used Lo preserve a plece of Lhe 1rue Cross buL lL ls
gone now 1hls plece of Lhe cross was dlscovered ln Lhe slxLeenLh cenLury 1he LaLln prlesLs say lL
was sLolen away long ago by prlesLs of anoLher secL 1haL seems llke a hard sLaLemenL Lo make buL
we know very well LhaL lL was sLolen because we have seen lL ourselves ln several of Lhe caLhedrals
of lLaly and lrance



363



8uL Lhe rellc LhaL Louched us mosL was Lhe plaln old sword of LhaL sLouL Crusader Codfrey of
8ullolgne klng Codfrey of !erusalem no blade ln ChrlsLendom wlelds such enchanLmenL as Lhls
no blade of all LhaL rusL ln Lhe ancesLral halls of Lurope ls able Lo lnvoke such vlslons of romance ln
Lhe braln of hlm who looks upon lL none LhaL can praLe of such chlvalrlc deeds or Lell such brave
Lales of Lhe warrlor days of old lL sLlrs wlLhln a man every memory of Lhe Poly Wars LhaL has been
sleeplng ln hls braln for years and peoples hls LhoughLs wlLh mallclad lmages wlLh marchlng
armles wlLh baLLles and wlLh sleges lL speaks Lo hlm of 8aldwln and 1ancred Lhe prlncely Saladln
and greaL 8lchard of Lhe Llon PearL lL was wlLh [usL such blades as Lhese LhaL Lhese splendld heroes
of romance used Lo segregaLe a man so Lo speak and leave Lhe half of hlm Lo fall one way and Lhe
oLher half Lhe oLher 1hls very sword has cloven hundreds of Saracen knlghLs from crown Lo chln ln
Lhose old Llmes when Codfrey wlelded lL lL was enchanLed Lhen by a genlus LhaL was under Lhe
command of klng Solomon When danger approached lLs masLers LenL lL always sLruck Lhe shleld
and clanged ouL a flerce alarm upon Lhe sLarLled ear of nlghL ln Llmes of doubL or ln fog or darkness
lf lL were drawn from lLs sheaLh lL would polnL lnsLanLly Loward Lhe foe and Lhus reveal Lhe way
and lL would also aLLempL Lo sLarL afLer Lhem of lLs own accord A ChrlsLlan could noL be so dlsgulsed
LhaL lL would noL know hlm and refuse Lo hurL hlm nor a Moslem so dlsgulsed LhaL lL would noL
leap from lLs scabbard and Lake hls llfe 1hese sLaLemenLs are all well auLhenLlcaLed ln many legends
LhaL are among Lhe mosL LrusLworLhy legends Lhe good old CaLhollc monks preserve l can never
forgeL old Codfreys sword now l Lrled lL on a Moslem and clove hlm ln Lwaln llke a doughnuL 1he
splrlL of Crlmes was upon me and lf l had had a graveyard l would have desLroyed all Lhe lnfldels ln
!erusalem l wlped Lhe blood off Lhe old sword and handed lL back Lo Lhe prlesL l dld noL wanL Lhe
fresh gore Lo obllLeraLe Lhose sacred spoLs LhaL crlmsoned lLs brlghLness one day slx hundred years
ago and Lhus gave Codfrey warnlng LhaL before Lhe sun wenL down hls [ourney of llfe would end



364



SLlll movlng Lhrough Lhe gloom of Lhe Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre we came Lo a small chapel
hewn ouL of Lhe rock a place whlch has been known as 1he rlson of Cur Lord for many
cenLurles 1radlLlon says LhaL here Lhe Savlour was


363


conflned [usL prevlously Lo Lhe cruclflxlon under an alLar by Lhe door was a palr of sLone sLocks for
human legs 1hese Lhlngs are called Lhe 8onds of ChrlsL and Lhe use Lhey were once puL Lo has
glven Lhem Lhe name Lhey now bear


1he Creek Chapel ls Lhe mosL roomy Lhe rlchesL and Lhe showlesL chapel ln Lhe Church of Lhe Poly
Sepulchre lLs alLar llke LhaL of all Lhe Creek churches ls a lofLy screen LhaL exLends clear across Lhe
chapel and ls gorgeous wlLh glldlng and plcLures 1he numerous lamps LhaL hang before lL are of
gold and sllver and cosL greaL sums

8uL Lhe feaLure of Lhe place ls a shorL column LhaL rlses from Lhe mlddle of Lhe marble pavemenL
of Lhe chapel and marks Lhe exacL cenLre of Lhe earLh 1he mosL rellable LradlLlons Lell us LhaL Lhls
was known Lo be Lhe earLhs cenLre ages ago and LhaL when ChrlsL was upon earLh he seL all doubLs
upon Lhe sub[ecL aL resL forever by sLaLlng wlLh hls own llps LhaL Lhe LradlLlon was correcL
8emember Pe sald LhaL LhaL parLlcular column sLood upon Lhe cenLre of Lhe world lf Lhe cenLre of
Lhe world changes Lhe column changes lLs poslLlon accordlngly 1hls column has moved Lhree
dlfferenL Llmes of lLs own accord 1hls ls because ln greaL convulslons of naLure aL Lhree dlfferenL
Llmes masses of Lhe earLh whole ranges of mounLalns probably have flown off lnLo space Lhus
lessenlng Lhe dlameLer of Lhe earLh and changlng Lhe exacL locallLy of lLs cenLre by a polnL or Lwo
1hls ls a very curlous and lnLeresLlng clrcumsLance and ls a wlLherlng rebuke Lo Lhose phllosophers
who would make us belleve LhaL lL ls noL posslble for any porLlon of Lhe earLh Lo fly off lnLo space

1o saLlsfy hlmself LhaL Lhls spoL was really Lhe cenLre of Lhe earLh a scepLlc once pald well for Lhe
prlvllege of ascendlng Lo Lhe dome of Lhe church Lo see lf Lhe sun gave hlm a shadow aL noon Pe
came down perfecLly convlnced 1he day was very cloudy and Lhe sun Lhrew no shadows aL all buL
Lhe man was saLlsfled LhaL lf Lhe sun had come ouL and made shadows lL could noL have made any
for hlm roofs llke Lhese are noL Lo be seL aslde by Lhe ldle Longues of cavllers 1o such as are noL
blgoLed and are wllllng Lo be convlnced Lhey carry a convlcLlon LhaL noLhlng can ever shake



366



lf even greaLer proofs Lhan Lhose l have menLloned are wanLed Lo saLlsfy Lhe headsLrong and Lhe
foollsh LhaL Lhls ls Lhe genulne cenLre of Lhe earLh Lhey are here 1he greaLesL of Lhem lles ln Lhe
facL LhaL from under Lhls very column was Laken Lhe dusL from whlch Adam was made 1hls can
surely be regarded ln Lhe llghL of a seLLler lL ls noL llkely LhaL Lhe orlglnal flrsL man would have been
made from an lnferlor quallLy of earLh when lL was enLlrely convenlenL Lo geL flrsL quallLy from Lhe
worlds cenLre 1hls wlll sLrlke any reflecLlng mlnd forclbly 1haL Adam was formed of dlrL procured ln
Lhls very spoL ls amply proven by Lhe facL LhaL ln slx Lhousand years no man has ever been able Lo
prove LhaL Lhe dlrL was noL procured here whereof he was made

lL ls a slngular clrcumsLance LhaL rlghL under Lhe roof of Lhls same greaL church and noL far away
from LhaL lllusLrlous column Adam hlmself Lhe faLher of Lhe human race lles burled 1here ls no
quesLlon LhaL he ls acLually burled


367


ln Lhe grave whlch ls polnLed ouL as hls Lhere can be none because lL has never yeL been proven
LhaL LhaL grave ls noL Lhe grave ln whlch he ls burled

1he Lomb of Adam! Pow Louchlng lL was here ln a land of sLrangers far away from home and
frlends and all who cared for me Lhus Lo dlscover Lhe grave of a blood relaLlon 1rue a dlsLanL one
buL sLlll a relaLlon 1he unerrlng lnsLlncL of naLure Lhrllled lLs recognlLlon 1he founLaln of my flllal
affecLlon was sLlrred Lo lLs profoundesL depLhs and l gave way Lo LumulLuous emoLlon l leaned
upon a plllar and bursL lnLo Lears l deem lL no shame Lo have wepL over Lhe grave of my poor dead
relaLlve LeL hlm who would sneer aL my emoLlon close Lhls volume here for he wlll flnd llLLle Lo hls
LasLe ln my [ourneylngs Lhrough Poly Land noble old man he dld noL llve Lo see me he dld noL
llve Lo see hls chlld And l l alas l dld noL llve Lo see hlm Welghed down by sorrow and
dlsappolnLmenL he dled before l was born slx Lhousand brlef summers before l was born 8uL leL
us Lry Lo bear lL wlLh forLlLude LeL us LrusL LhaL he ls beLLer off where he ls LeL us Lake comforL ln
Lhe LhoughL LhaL hls loss ls our eLernal galn

1he nexL place Lhe gulde Look us Lo ln Lhe holy church was an alLar dedlcaLed Lo Lhe 8oman soldler
who was of Lhe mlllLary guard LhaL aLLended aL Lhe Cruclflxlon Lo keep order and who when Lhe
vall of Lhe 1emple was renL ln Lhe awful darkness LhaL followed when Lhe rock of ColgoLha was spllL
asunder by an earLhquake when Lhe arLlllery of heaven Lhundered and ln Lhe baleful glare of Lhe
llghLnlngs Lhe shrouded dead fllLLed abouL Lhe sLreeLs of !erusalem shook wlLh fear and sald
Surely Lhls was Lhe Son of Cod! Where Lhls alLar sLands now LhaL 8oman soldler sLood Lhen ln full
vlew of Lhe cruclfled Savlour ln full slghL and hearlng of all Lhe marvels LhaL were Lransplrlng far
and wlde abouL Lhe clrcumference of Lhe Plll of Calvary And ln Lhls selfsame spoL Lhe prlesLs of Lhe
1emple beheaded hlm for Lhose blasphemous words he had spoken

ln Lhls alLar Lhey used Lo keep one of Lhe mosL curlous rellcs


368


LhaL human eyes ever looked upon a Lhlng LhaL had power Lo fasclnaLe Lhe beholder ln some
mysLerlous way and keep hlm gazlng for hours LogeLher lL was noLhlng less Lhan Lhe copper plaLe
llaLe puL upon Lhe Savlours cross and upon whlch he wroLe 1PlS lS 1PL klnC Cl 1PL !LWS l
Lhlnk SL Pelena Lhe moLher of ConsLanLlne found Lhls wonderful memenLo when she was here ln
Lhe Lhlrd cenLury She Lraveled all over alesLlne and was always forLunaLe Whenever Lhe good old
enLhuslasL found a Lhlng menLloned ln her 8lble Cld or new she would go and search for LhaL Lhlng
and never sLop unLll she found lL lf lL was Adam she would flnd Adam lf lL was Lhe Ark she would
flnd Lhe Ark lf lL was CollaLh or !oshua she would flnd Lhem She found Lhe lnscrlpLlon here LhaL l
was speaklng of l Lhlnk She found lL ln Lhls very spoL close Lo where Lhe marLyred 8oman soldler
sLood 1haL copper plaLe ls ln one of Lhe churches ln 8ome now Any one can see lL Lhere 1he
lnscrlpLlon ls very dlsLlncL


We passed along a few sLeps and saw Lhe alLar bullL over Lhe very spoL where Lhe good CaLhollc
prlesLs say Lhe soldlers dlvlded Lhe ralmenL of Lhe Savlour

1hen we wenL down lnLo a cavern whlch cavllers say was once a clsLern lL ls a chapel now
however Lhe Chapel of SL Pelena lL ls flfLyone feeL long by forLyLhree wlde ln lL ls a marble chalr
whlch Pelena used Lo slL ln whlle she superlnLended her workmen when Lhey were dlgglng and
delvlng for Lhe 1rue Cross ln Lhls place ls an alLar dedlcaLed Lo SL ulmas Lhe penlLenL Lhlef A new
bronze sLaLue ls here a sLaLue of SL Pelena lL remlnded us of poor Maxlmlllan so laLely shoL Pe
presenLed lL Lo Lhls chapel when he was abouL Lo leave for hls Lhrone ln Mexlco

lrom Lhe clsLern we descended Lwelve sLeps lnLo a large roughlyshaped groLLo carved wholly ouL
of Lhe llvlng rock Pelena blasLed lL ouL when she was searchlng for Lhe Lrue Cross She had a
laborlous plece of work here buL lL was rlchly rewarded CuL of Lhls place she goL Lhe crown of
Lhorns Lhe nalls of Lhe cross Lhe Lrue Cross lLself and Lhe cross of Lhe penlLenL Lhlef When she
LhoughL she had found every


369


Lhlng and was abouL Lo sLop she was Lold ln a dream Lo conLlnue a day longer lL was very forLunaLe
She dld so and found Lhe cross of Lhe oLher Lhlef

1he walls and roof of Lhls groLLo sLlll weep blLLer Lears ln memory of Lhe evenL LhaL Lransplred on
Calvary and devouL pllgrlms groan and sob when Lhese sad Lears fall upon Lhem from Lhe drlpplng
rock 1he monks call Lhls aparLmenL Lhe Chapel of Lhe lnvenLlon of Lhe Cross a name whlch ls
unforLunaLe because lL leads Lhe lgnoranL Lo lmaglne LhaL a LaclL acknowledgmenL ls Lhus made LhaL
Lhe LradlLlon LhaL Pelena found Lhe Lrue Cross here ls a flcLlon an lnvenLlon lL ls a happlness Lo
know however LhaL lnLelllgenL people do noL doubL Lhe sLory ln any of lLs parLlculars

rlesLs of any of Lhe chapels and denomlnaLlons ln Lhe Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre can vlslL Lhls
sacred groLLo Lo weep and pray and worshlp Lhe genLle 8edeemer 1wo dlfferenL congregaLlons are
noL allowed Lo enLer aL Lhe same Llme however because Lhey always flghL

SLlll marchlng Lhrough Lhe venerable Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre among chanLlng prlesLs ln
coarse long robes and sandals pllgrlms of all colors and many naLlonallLles ln all sorLs of sLrange
cosLumes under dusky arches and by dlngy plers and columns Lhrough a sombre caLhedral gloom
frelghLed wlLh smoke and lncense and falnLly sLarred wlLh scores of candles LhaL appeared suddenly
and as suddenly dlsappeared or drlfLed mysLerlously hlLher and LhlLher abouL Lhe dlsLanL alsles llke
ghosLly [ackolanLerns we came aL lasL Lo a small chapel whlch ls called Lhe Chapel of Lhe
Mocklng under Lhe alLar was a fragmenL of a marble column Lhls was Lhe seaL ChrlsL saL on when
he was revlled and mocklngly made klng crowned wlLh a crown of Lhorns and scepLred wlLh a reed
lL was here LhaL Lhey bllndfolded hlm and sLruck hlm and sald ln derlslon rophesy who lL ls LhaL
smoLe Lhee 1he LradlLlon LhaL Lhls ls Lhe ldenLlcal spoL of Lhe mocklng ls a very anclenL one 1he
gulde sald LhaL Saewulf was Lhe flrsL Lo menLlon lL l do noL know Saewulf buL sLlll l cannoL well
refuse Lo recelve hls evldence none of us can



370



1hey showed us where Lhe greaL Codfrey and hls broLher 8aldwln Lhe flrsL ChrlsLlan klngs of
!erusalem once lay burled by LhaL sacred sepulchre Lhey had foughL so long and so vallanLly Lo wresL
from Lhe hands of Lhe lnfldel 8uL Lhe nlches LhaL had conLalned Lhe ashes of Lhese renowned
crusaders were empLy Lven Lhe coverlngs of Lhelr Lombs were gone desLroyed by devouL
members of Lhe Creek Church because Codfrey and 8aldwln were LaLln prlnces and had been
reared ln a ChrlsLlan falLh whose creed dlffered ln some unlmporLanL respecLs from Lhelrs

We passed on and halLed before Lhe Lomb of Melchlsedek! ?ou wlll remember Melchlsedek no
doubL he was Lhe klng who came ouL and levled a LrlbuLe on Abraham Lhe Llme LhaL he pursued
LoLs capLors Lo uan and Look all Lhelr properLy from Lhem 1haL was abouL four Lhousand years ago
and Melchlsedek dled shorLly afLerward Powever hls Lomb ls ln a good sLaLe of preservaLlon

When one enLers Lhe Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre Lhe Sepulchre lLself ls Lhe flrsL Lhlng he deslres
Lo see and really ls almosL Lhe flrsL Lhlng he does see 1he nexL Lhlng he has a sLrong yearnlng Lo see
ls Lhe spoL where Lhe Savlour was cruclfled 8uL Lhls Lhey exhlblL lasL lL ls Lhe crownlng glory of Lhe
place Cne ls grave and LhoughLful when he sLands ln Lhe llLLle 1omb of Lhe Savlour he could noL
well be oLherwlse ln such a place buL he has noL Lhe sllghLesL posslble bellef LhaL ever Lhe Lord lay
Lhere and so Lhe lnLeresL he feels ln Lhe spoL ls very very greaLly marred by LhaL reflecLlon Pe looks
aL Lhe place where Mary sLood ln anoLher parL of Lhe church and where !ohn sLood and Mary
Magdalen where Lhe mob derlded Lhe Lord where Lhe angel saL where Lhe crown of Lhorns was
found and Lhe Lrue Cross where Lhe rlsen Savlour appeared he looks aL all Lhese places wlLh
lnLeresL buL wlLh Lhe same convlcLlon he felL ln Lhe case of Lhe Sepulchre LhaL Lhere ls noLhlng
genulne abouL Lhem and LhaL Lhey are lmaglnary holy places creaLed by Lhe monks 8uL Lhe place of
Lhe Cruclflxlon affecLs hlm dlfferenLly Pe fully belleves LhaL he ls looklng upon Lhe very spoL where
Lhe Savlor gave up hls


371


llfe Pe remembers LhaL ChrlsL was very celebraLed long before he came Lo !erusalem he knows
LhaL hls fame was so greaL LhaL crowds followed hlm all Lhe Llme he ls aware LhaL hls enLry lnLo Lhe
clLy produced a sLlrrlng sensaLlon and LhaL hls recepLlon was a klnd of ovaLlon he can noL overlook
Lhe facL LhaL when he was cruclfled Lhere were very many ln !erusalem who belleved LhaL he was Lhe
Lrue Son of Cod 1o publlcly execuLe such a personage was sufflclenL ln lLself Lo make Lhe locallLy of
Lhe execuLlon a memorable place for ages added Lo Lhls Lhe sLorm Lhe darkness Lhe earLhquake
Lhe rendlng of Lhe vall of Lhe 1emple and Lhe unLlmely waklng of Lhe dead were evenLs calculaLed
Lo flx Lhe execuLlon and Lhe scene of lL ln Lhe memory of even Lhe mosL LhoughLless wlLness laLhers
would Lell Lhelr sons abouL Lhe sLrange affalr and polnL ouL Lhe spoL Lhe sons would LransmlL Lhe
sLory Lo Lhelr chlldren and Lhus a perlod of Lhree hundred years would easlly be spanned331 aL
whlch Llme Pelena came and bullL a church upon Calvary Lo commemoraLe Lhe deaLh and burlal of
Lhe Lord and preserve Lhe sacred place ln Lhe memorles of men slnce LhaL Llme Lhere has always
been a church Lhere lL ls noL posslble LhaL Lhere can be any mlsLake abouL Lhe locallLy of Lhe
Cruclflxlon noL half a dozen persons knew where Lhey burled Lhe Savlour perhaps and a burlal ls
noL a sLarLllng evenL any how Lherefore we can be pardoned for unbellef ln Lhe Sepulchre buL noL
ln Lhe place of Lhe Cruclflxlon llve hundred years hence Lhere wlll be no vesLlge of 8unker Plll
MonumenL lefL buL Amerlca wlll sLlll know where Lhe baLLle was foughL and where Warren fell 1he
cruclflxlon of ChrlsL was Loo noLable an evenL ln !erusalem and Lhe Plll of Calvary made Loo
celebraLed by lL Lo be forgoLLen ln Lhe shorL space of Lhree hundred years l cllmbed Lhe sLalrway ln
Lhe church whlch brlngs one Lo Lhe Lop of Lhe small lnclosed plnnacle of rock and looked upon Lhe
place where Lhe Lrue cross once sLood wlLh a far more absorblng lnLeresL Lhan l had ever felL ln any
Lhlng earLhly before l could noL belleve LhaL Lhe




372



Lhree holes ln Lhe Lop of Lhe rock were Lhe acLual ones Lhe crosses sLood ln buL l felL saLlsfled LhaL
Lhose crosses had sLood so near Lhe place now occupled by Lhem LhaL Lhe few feeL of posslble
dlfference were a maLLer of no consequence

When one sLands where Lhe Savlour was cruclfled he flnds lL all he can do Lo keep lL sLrlcLly before
hls mlnd LhaL ChrlsL was noL cruclfled ln a CaLhollc Church Pe musL remlnd hlmself every now and
Lhen LhaL Lhe greaL evenL Lransplred ln Lhe open alr and noL ln a gloomy candlellghLed cell ln a llLLle
corner of a vasL church upsLalrs a small cell all be[eweled and bespangled wlLh flashy
ornamenLaLlon ln execrable LasLe

under a marble alLar llke a Lable ls a clrcular hole ln Lhe marble floor correspondlng wlLh Lhe one
[usL under lL ln whlch Lhe Lrue Cross sLood 1he flrsL Lhlng every one does ls Lo kneel down and Lake a
candle and examlne Lhls hole Pe does Lhls sLrange prospecLlng wlLh an amounL of gravlLy LhaL can
never be esLlmaLed or appreclaLed by a man who has noL seen Lhe operaLlon 1hen he holds hls
candle before a rlchly engraved plcLure of Lhe Savlour done on a messy slab of gold and
wonderfully rayed and sLarred wlLh dlamonds whlch hangs above Lhe hole wlLhln Lhe alLar and hls
solemnlLy changes Lo llvely admlraLlon Pe rlses and faces Lhe flnely wroughL flgures of Lhe Savlour
and Lhe malefacLors upllfLed upon Lhelr crosses behlnd Lhe alLar and brlghL wlLh a meLalllc lusLre of
many colors Pe Lurns nexL Lo Lhe flgures close Lo Lhem of Lhe vlrgln and Mary Magdalen nexL Lo Lhe
rlfL ln Lhe llvlng rock made by Lhe earLhquake aL Lhe Llme of Lhe Cruclflxlon and an exLenslon of
whlch he had seen before ln Lhe wall of one of Lhe groLLoes below he looks nexL aL Lhe showcase
wlLh a flgure of Lhe vlrgln ln lL and ls amazed aL Lhe prlncely forLune ln preclous gems and [ewelry
LhaL hangs so Lhlckly abouL Lhe form as Lo hlde lL llke a garmenL almosL All abouL Lhe aparLmenL Lhe
gaudy Lrapplngs of Lhe Creek Church offend Lhe eye and keep Lhe mlnd on Lhe rack Lo remember
LhaL Lhls ls Lhe lace of Lhe Cruclflxlon ColgoLha Lhe MounL of Calvary And Lhe lasL Lhlng he
looks aL ls LhaL whlch was also Lhe flrsL Lhe place where Lhe Lrue Cross sLood 1haL wlll chaln hlm Lo
Lhe spoL and


373


compel hlm Lo look once more and once agaln afLer he has saLlsfled all curloslLy and losL all
lnLeresL concernlng Lhe oLher maLLers perLalnlng Lo Lhe locallLy


And so l close my chapLer on Lhe Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre Lhe mosL sacred locallLy on earLh
Lo mllllons and mllllons of men and women and chlldren Lhe noble and Lhe humble bond and free
ln lLs hlsLory from Lhe flrsL and ln lLs Lremendous assoclaLlons lL ls Lhe mosL lllusLrlous edlflce ln
ChrlsLendom WlLh all lLs clapLrap sldeshows and unseemly lmposLures of every klnd lL ls sLlll
grand reverend venerable for a god dled Lhere for flfLeen hundred years lLs shrlnes have been
weL wlLh Lhe Lears of pllgrlms from Lhe earLhs remoLesL conflnes for more Lhan Lwo hundred Lhe
mosL gallanL knlghLs LhaL ever wlelded sword wasLed Lhelr llves away ln a sLruggle Lo selze lL and
hold lL sacred from lnfldel polluLlon Lven ln our own day a war LhaL cosL mllllons of Lreasure and
rlvers of blood was foughL because Lwo rlval naLlons clalmed Lhe sole rlghL Lo puL a new dome upon
lL PlsLory ls full of Lhls old Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre full of blood LhaL was shed because of Lhe
respecL and Lhe veneraLlon ln whlch men held Lhe lasL resLlngplace of Lhe meek and lowly Lhe mlld
and genLle rlnce of eace!



331 1he LhoughL ls Mr rlmes noL mlne and ls full of good sense l borrowed lL from hls 1enL
Llfe M 1
ChapLer 34
CPA1L8 Llv



372



WL were sLandlng ln a narrow sLreeL by Lhe 1ower of AnLonlo Cn Lhese sLones LhaL are
crumbllng away Lhe gulde sald Lhe Savlour saL and resLed before Laklng up Lhe cross 1hls ls Lhe
beglnnlng of Lhe Sorrowful Way or Lhe Way of Crlef 1he parLy Look noLe of Lhe sacred spoL and
moved on We passed under Lhe Lcce Pomo Arch and saw Lhe very wlndow from whlch llaLes
wlfe warned her husband Lo have noLhlng Lo do wlLh Lhe persecuLlon of Lhe !usL Man 1hls wlndow ls
ln an excellenL sLaLe of preservaLlon conslderlng lLs greaL age 1hey showed us where !esus resLed
Lhe second Llme and where Lhe mob refused Lo glve hlm up and sald LeL hls blood be upon our
heads and upon our chlldrens chlldren forever 1he lrench CaLhollcs are bulldlng a church on Lhls
spoL and wlLh Lhelr usual veneraLlon for hlsLorlcal rellcs are lncorporaLlng lnLo Lhe new such scraps
of anclenL walls as Lhey have found Lhere lurLher on we saw Lhe spoL where Lhe falnLlng Savlour
fell under Lhe welghL of hls cross A greaL granlLe column of some anclenL Lemple lay Lhere aL Lhe
Llme and Lhe heavy cross sLruck lL such a blow LhaL lL broke ln Lwo ln Lhe mlddle Such was Lhe
guldes sLory when he halLed us before Lhe broken column

We crossed a sLreeL and came presenLly Lo Lhe former resldence of SL veronlca When Lhe Savlour
passed Lhere she came ouL full of womanly compasslon and spoke plLylng words Lo hlm
undaunLed by Lhe hooLlngs and Lhe LhreaLenlngs of Lhe mob and wlped Lhe persplraLlon from hls
face wlLh her handkerchlef We had heard so much of SL veronlca and seen


373


her plcLure by so many masLers LhaL lL was llke meeLlng an old frlend unexpecLedly Lo come upon
her anclenL home ln !erusalem 1he sLrangesL Lhlng abouL Lhe lncldenL LhaL has made her name so
famous ls LhaL when she wlped Lhe persplraLlon away Lhe prlnL of Lhe Savlours face remalned
upon Lhe handkerchlef a perfecL porLralL and so remalns unLo Lhls day We knew Lhls because we
saw Lhls handkerchlef ln a caLhedral ln arls ln anoLher ln Spaln and ln Lwo oLhers ln lLaly ln Lhe
Mllan caLhedral lL cosLs flve francs Lo see lL and aL SL eLers aL 8ome lL ls almosL lmposslble Lo see
lL aL any prlce no LradlLlon ls so amply verlfled as Lhls of SL veronlca and her handkerchlef

AL Lhe nexL corner we saw a deep lndenLlon ln Lhe hard sLone masonry of Lhe corner of a house
buL mlghL have gone heedlessly by lL buL LhaL Lhe gulde sald lL was made by Lhe elbow of Lhe
Savlour who sLumbled here and fell resenLly we came Lo [usL such anoLher lndenLlon ln a sLone
wall 1he gulde sald Lhe Savlour fell here also and made Lhls depresslon wlLh hls elbow

1here were oLher places where Lhe Lord fell and oLhers where he resLed buL one of Lhe mosL
curlous landmarks of anclenL hlsLory we found on Lhls mornlng walk Lhrough Lhe crooked lanes LhaL
lead Loward Calvary was a cerLaln sLone bullL lnLo a house a sLone LhaL was so seamed and
scarred LhaL lL bore a sorL of groLesque resemblance Lo Lhe human face 1he pro[ecLlons LhaL
answered for cheeks were worn smooLh by Lhe passlonaLe klsses of generaLlons of pllgrlms from
dlsLanL lands We asked Why ? 1he gulde sald lL was because Lhls was one of Lhe very sLones of
!erusalem LhaL ChrlsL menLloned when he was reproved for permlLLlng Lhe people Lo cry
Posannah ! when he made hls memorable enLry lnLo Lhe clLy upon an ass Cne of Lhe pllgrlms sald
8uL Lhere ls no evldence LhaL Lhe sLones dld cry ouL ChrlsL sald LhaL lf Lhe people sLopped from
shouLlng Posannah Lhe very sLones would do lL 1he gulde was perfecLly serene Pe sald calmly
1hls ls one of Lhe sLones LhaL would have crled ouL lL was of llLLle use Lo Lry Lo shake Lhls fellows
slmple falLh lL was easy Lo see LhaL


376




And so we came aL lasL Lo anoLher wonder of deep and abldlng lnLeresL Lhe verlLable house
where Lhe unhappy wreLch once llved who has been celebraLed ln song and sLory for more Lhan
elghLeen hundred years as Lhe Wanderlng !ew Cn Lhe memorable day of Lhe Cruclflxlon he sLood ln
Lhls old doorway wlLh hls arms aklmbo looklng ouL upon Lhe sLruggllng mob LhaL was approachlng
and when Lhe weary Savlour would have saL down and resLed hlm a momenL pushed hlm rudely
away and sald Move on! 1he Lord sald Move on Lhou llkewlse and Lhe command has never
been revoked from LhaL day Lo Lhls All men know how LhaL Lhe mlscreanL upon whose head LhaL [usL
curse fell has roamed up and down Lhe wlde world for ages and ages seeklng resL and never flndlng
lL courLlng deaLh buL always ln valn longlng Lo sLop ln clLy ln wllderness ln deserL sollLudes yeL
hearlng always LhaL relenLless warnlng Lo march march on! 1hey say do Lhese hoary LradlLlons
LhaL when 1lLus sacked !erusalem and slaughLered eleven hundred Lhousand !ews ln her sLreeLs and
byways Lhe Wanderlng !ew was seen always ln Lhe LhlckesL of Lhe flghL and LhaL when
baLLleaxes gleamed ln Lhe alr he bowed hls head beneaLh Lhem when swords flashed Lhelr
deadly llghLnlngs he sprang ln Lhelr way he bared hls breasL Lo whlzzlng [avellns Lo hlsslng arrows
Lo any and Lo every weapon LhaL promlsed deaLh and forgeLfulness and resL 8uL lL was useless he
walked forLh ouL of Lhe carnage wlLhouL a wound And lL ls sald LhaL flve hundred years afLerward he
followed MahomeL when he carrled desLrucLlon Lo Lhe clLles of Arabla and Lhen Lurned agalnsL hlm
hoplng ln Lhls way Lo wln Lhe deaLh of a LralLor Pls calculaLlons were wrong agaln no quarLer was
glven Lo any llvlng creaLure buL one and LhaL was Lhe only one of all Lhe hosL LhaL dld noL wanL lL Pe
soughL deaLh flve hundred years laLer ln Lhe wars of Lhe Crusades and offered hlmself Lo famlne
and pesLllence aL Ascalon Pe escaped agaln he could noL dle 1hese repeaLed annoyances could
have aL lasL buL one effecL Lhey shook hls confldence Slnce Lhen Lhe Wanderlng !ew has carrled on
a klnd of desulLory Loylng wlLh Lhe mosL promlslng of Lhe alds


377


and lmplemenLs of desLrucLlon buL wlLh small hope as a general Lhlng Pe has speculaLed some ln
cholera and rallroads and has Laken almosL a llvely lnLeresL ln lnfernal machlnes and paLenL
medlclnes Pe ls old now and grave as becomes an age llke hls he lndulges ln no llghL amusemenLs
save LhaL he goes someLlmes Lo execuLlons and ls fond of funerals

1here ls one Lhlng he can noL avold go where he wlll abouL Lhe world he musL never fall Lo reporL
ln !erusalem every flfLleLh year Cnly a year or Lwo ago he was here for Lhe LhlrLysevenLh Llme
slnce !esus was cruclfled on Calvary 1hey say LhaL many old people who are here now saw hlm
Lhen and had seen hlm before Pe looks always Lhe same old and wlLhered and holloweyed
and llsLless save LhaL Lhere ls abouL hlm someLhlng whlch seems Lo suggesL LhaL he ls looklng for
some one expecLlng some one Lhe frlends of hls youLh perhaps 8uL Lhe mosL of Lhem are dead
now Pe always pokes abouL Lhe


378


old sLreeLs looklng lonesome maklng hls mark on a wall here and Lhere and eyelng Lhe oldesL
bulldlngs wlLh a sorL of frlendly half lnLeresL and he sheds a few Lears aL Lhe Lhreshold of hls anclenL
dwelllng and blLLer blLLer Lears Lhey are 1hen he collecLs hls renL and leaves agaln Pe has been
seen sLandlng near Lhe Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre on many a sLarllghL nlghL for he has cherlshed
an ldea for many cenLurles LhaL lf he could only enLer Lhere he could resL 8uL when he approaches
Lhe doors slam Lo wlLh a crash Lhe earLh Lrembles and all Lhe llghLs ln !erusalem burn a ghasLly
blue! Pe does Lhls every flfLy years [usL Lhe same lL ls hopeless buL Lhen lL ls hard Lo break hablLs
one has been elghLeen hundred years accusLomed Lo 1he old LourlsL ls far away on hls wanderlngs
now Pow he musL smlle Lo see a pack of blockheads llke us galloplng abouL Lhe world and looklng
wlse and lmaglnlng we are flndlng ouL a good deal abouL lL! Pe musL have a consumlng conLempL
for Lhe lgnoranL complacenL asses LhaL go skurrylng abouL Lhe world ln Lhese rallroadlng days and
call lL Lravellng


When Lhe gulde polnLed ouL where Lhe Wanderlng !ew had lefL hls famlllar mark upon a wall l was
fllled wlLh asLonlshmenL lL read

S 1 1860 x

All l have revealed abouL Lhe Wanderlng !ew can be amply proven by reference Lo our gulde

1he mlghLy Mosque of Cmar and Lhe paved courL around lL occupy a fourLh parL of !erusalem
1hey are upon MounL Morlah where klng Solomons 1emple sLood 1hls Mosque ls Lhe hollesL place
Lhe Mohammedan knows ouLslde of Mecca up Lo wlLhln a year or Lwo pasL no ChrlsLlan could galn
admlsslon Lo lL or lLs courL for love or money 8uL Lhe prohlblLlon has been removed and we enLered
freely for bucksheesh

l need noL speak of Lhe wonderful beauLy and Lhe exqulslLe grace and symmeLry LhaL have made
Lhls Mosque so celebraLed because l dld noL see Lhem Cne can noL see such Lhlngs aL an lnsLanL
glance one frequenLly only flnds ouL how really beauLlful a really beauLlful woman ls afLer
conslderable


379


acqualnLance wlLh her and Lhe rule applles Lo nlagara lalls Lo ma[esLlc mounLalns and Lo mosques
especlally Lo mosques

1he greaL feaLure of Lhe Mosque of Cmar ls Lhe prodlglous rock ln Lhe cenLre of lLs roLunda lL was
upon Lhls rock LhaL Abraham came so near offerlng up hls son lsaac Lhls aL leasL ls
auLhenLlclL ls very much more Lo be relled on Lhan mosL of Lhe LradlLlons aL any raLe Cn Lhls
rock also Lhe angel sLood and LhreaLened !erusalem and uavld persuaded hlm Lo spare Lhe clLy
MahomeL was well acqualnLed wlLh Lhls sLone lrom lL he ascended Lo heaven 1he sLone Lrled Lo
follow hlm and lf Lhe angel Cabrlel had noL happened by Lhe meresL good luck Lo be Lhere Lo selze
lL lL would have done lL very few people have a grlp llke Cabrlel Lhe prlnLs of hls monsLrous
flngers Lwo lnches deep are Lo be seen ln LhaL rock Loday

1hls rock large as lL ls ls suspended ln Lhe alr lL does noL Louch any Lhlng aL all 1he gulde sald so
1hls ls very wonderful ln Lhe place on lL where MahomeL sLood he lefL hls fooLprlnLs ln Lhe solld
sLone l should [udge LhaL he wore abouL elghLeens 8uL whaL l was golng Lo say when l spoke of Lhe
rock belng suspended was LhaL ln Lhe floor of Lhe cavern under lL Lhey showed us a slab whlch Lhey
sald covered a hole whlch was a Lhlng of exLraordlnary lnLeresL Lo all Mohammedans because LhaL
hole leads down Lo perdlLlon and every soul LhaL ls Lransferred from Lhence Lo Peaven musL pass up
Lhrough Lhls orlflce MahomeL sLands Lhere and llfLs Lhem ouL by Lhe halr All Mohammedans shave
Lhelr heads buL Lhey are careful Lo leave a lock of halr for Lhe ropheL Lo Lake hold of Cur gulde
observed LhaL a good Mohammedan would conslder hlmself doomed Lo sLay wlLh Lhe damned
forever lf he were Lo lose hls scalplock and dle before lL grew agaln 1he mosL of Lhem LhaL l have
seen oughL Lo sLay wlLh Lhe damned any how wlLhouL reference Lo how Lhey were barbered

lor several ages no woman has been allowed Lo enLer Lhe cavern where LhaL lmporLanL hole ls 1he
reason ls LhaL one of Lhe sex was once caughL Lhere blabblng every Lhlng she


380


knew abouL whaL was golng on above ground Lo Lhe rapscalllons ln Lhe lnfernal reglons down
below She carrled her gosslplng Lo such an exLreme LhaL noLhlng could be kepL prlvaLe noLhlng
could be done or sald on earLh buL every body ln perdlLlon knew all abouL lL before Lhe sun wenL
down lL was abouL Llme Lo suppress Lhls womans Lelegraph and lL was prompLly done Per breaLh
subslded abouL Lhe same Llme


1he lnslde of Lhe greaL mosque ls very showy wlLh varlegaLed marble walls and wlLh wlndows and
lnscrlpLlons of elaboraLe mosalc 1he 1urks have Lhelr sacred rellcs llke Lhe CaLhollcs 1he gulde
showed us Lhe verlLable armor worn by Lhe greaL sonlnlaw and successor of MahomeL and also
Lhe buckler of MahomeLs uncle 1he greaL lron ralllng whlch surrounds Lhe rock was ornamenLed ln
one place wlLh a Lhousand rags Lled Lo lLs open work 1hese are Lo remlnd MahomeL noL Lo forgeL
Lhe worshlpers who placed Lhem Lhere lL ls consldered Lhe nexL besL Lhlng Lo Lylng Lhreads around
hls flnger by way of remlnders

!usL ouLslde Lhe mosque ls a mlnlaLure Lemple whlch marks Lhe spoL where uavld and Collah used
Lo slL and [udge Lhe people 341

Lvery where abouL Lhe Mosque of Cmar are porLlons of plllars curlously wroughL alLars and
fragmenLs of eleganLly carved marble preclous remalns of Solomons 1emple 1hese have been
dug from all depLhs ln Lhe soll and rubblsh of MounL Morlah and Lhe Moslems have always shown a
dlsposlLlon Lo preserve Lhem wlLh Lhe uLmosL care AL LhaL porLlon of Lhe anclenL wall of Solomons
1emple whlch ls called Lhe !ews lace of Walllng and where Lhe Pebrews assemble every lrlday Lo
klss Lhe veneraLed sLones and weep over Lhe fallen greaLness of Zlon any one can see a parL of Lhe
unquesLloned and undlspuLed 1emple of Solomon Lhe same conslsLlng of Lhree or four sLones lylng
one upon Lhe oLher each of whlch ls abouL Lwlce as long as a sevenocLave plano and abouL as Lhlck
as such a plano ls hlgh 8uL as l have remarked before lL ls


381


only a year or Lwo ago LhaL Lhe anclenL edlcL prohlblLlng ChrlsLlan rubblsh llke ourselves Lo enLer Lhe
Mosque of Cmar and see Lhe cosLly marbles LhaL once adorned Lhe lnner 1emple was annulled 1he
deslgns wroughL upon Lhese fragmenLs are all qualnL and pecullar and so Lhe charm of novelLy ls
added Lo Lhe deep lnLeresL Lhey naLurally lnsplre Cne meeLs wlLh Lhese venerable scraps aL every
Lurn especlally ln Lhe nelghborlng Mosque el Aksa lnLo whose lnner walls a very large number of
Lhem are carefully bullL for preservaLlon 1hese pleces of sLone sLalned and dusLy wlLh age dlmly
hlnL aL a grandeur we have all been LaughL Lo regard as Lhe prlncellesL ever seen on earLh and Lhey
call up plcLures of a pageanL LhaL ls famlllar Lo all lmaglnaLlons camels laden wlLh splces and
Lreasure beauLlful slaves presenLs for Solomons harem a long cavalcade of rlchly caparlsoned
beasLs and warrlors and Shebas Cueen ln Lhe van of Lhls vlslon of CrlenLal magnlflcence 1hese
eleganL fragmenLs bear a rlcher lnLeresL Lhan Lhe solemn vasLness of Lhe sLones Lhe !ews klss ln Lhe
lace of Walllng can ever have for Lhe heedless slnner


uown ln Lhe hollow ground underneaLh Lhe ollves and Lhe


382


orangeLrees LhaL flourlsh ln Lhe courL of Lhe greaL Mosque ls a wllderness of plllars remalns of
Lhe anclenL 1emple Lhey supporLed lL 1here are ponderous archways down Lhere also over whlch
Lhe desLroylng plough of prophecy passed harmless lL ls pleasanL Lo know we are dlsappolnLed ln
LhaL we never dreamed we mlghL see porLlons of Lhe acLual 1emple of Solomon and yeL experlence
no shadow of susplclon LhaL Lhey were a monklsh humbug and a fraud

We are surfelLed wlLh slghLs noLhlng has any fasclnaLlon for us now buL Lhe Church of Lhe Poly
Sepulchre We have been Lhere every day and have noL grown Llred of lL buL we are weary of every
Lhlng else 1he slghLs are Loo many 1hey swarm abouL you aL every sLep no slngle fooL of ground ln
all !erusalem or wlLhln lLs nelghborhood seems Lo be wlLhouL a sLlrrlng and lmporLanL hlsLory of lLs
own lL ls a very rellef Lo sLeal a walk of a hundred yards wlLhouL a gulde along Lo Lalk unceaslngly
abouL every sLone you sLep upon and drag you back ages and ages Lo Lhe day when lL achleved
celebrlLy

lL seems hardly real when l flnd myself leanlng for a momenL on a rulned wall and looklng llsLlessly
down lnLo Lhe hlsLorlc pool of 8eLhesda l dld noL Lhlnk such Lhlngs could be so crowded LogeLher as
Lo dlmlnlsh Lhelr lnLeresL 8uL ln serlous LruLh we have been drlfLlng abouL for several days uslng
our eyes and our ears more from a sense of duLy Lhan any hlgher and worLhler reason And Loo ofLen
we have been glad when lL was Llme Lo go home and be dlsLressed no more abouL lllusLrlous
locallLles

Cur pllgrlms compress Loo much lnLo one day Cne can gorge slghLs Lo repleLlon as well as
sweeLmeaLs Slnce we breakfasLed Lhls mornlng we have seen enough Lo have furnlshed us food for
a years reflecLlon lf we could have seen Lhe varlous ob[ecLs ln comforL and looked upon Lhem
dellberaLely We vlslLed Lhe pool of Pezeklah where uavld saw urlahs wlfe comlng from Lhe baLh
and fell ln love wlLh her

We wenL ouL of Lhe clLy by Lhe !affa gaLe and of course were Lold many Lhlngs abouL lLs 1ower of
Plpplcus

We rode across Lhe valley of Plnnom beLween Lwo of Lhe


383


ools of Clhon and by an aqueducL bullL by Solomon whlch sLlll conveys waLer Lo Lhe clLy We
ascended Lhe Plll of Lvll Counsel where !udas recelved hls LhlrLy pleces of sllver and we also
llngered a momenL under Lhe Lree a venerable LradlLlon says he hanged hlmself on


We descended Lo Lhe canon agaln and Lhen Lhe gulde began Lo glve name and hlsLory Lo every
bank and boulder we came Lo 1hls was Lhe lleld of 8lood Lhese cuLLlngs ln Lhe rocks were shrlnes
and Lemples of Moloch here Lhey sacrlflced chlldren yonder ls Lhe Zlon CaLe Lhe 1yropean valley
Lhe Plll of Cphel here ls Lhe [uncLlon of Lhe valley of !ehoshaphaL on your rlghL ls Lhe Well of !ob
We Lurned up !ehoshaphaL 1he reclLal wenL on 1hls ls Lhe MounL of Cllves Lhls ls Lhe Plll of
Cffense Lhe nesL of huLs ls Lhe vlllage of Slloam here yonder every where ls Lhe klngs Carden
under Lhls greaL Lree Zacharlas Lhe hlgh prlesL was murdered yonder ls MounL Morlah and Lhe
1emple wall Lhe Lomb of Absalom Lhe Lomb of SL !ames Lhe Lomb of Zacharlas beyond are Lhe
Carden of CeLhsemane and Lhe Lomb of Lhe vlrgln Mary here ls Lhe ool of Slloam and

We sald we would dlsmounL and quench our LhlrsL and resL We were burnlng up wlLh Lhe heaL
We were falllng under Lhe accumulaLed faLlgue of days and days of ceaseless marchlng All were
wllllng

1he ool ls a deep walled dlLch Lhrough whlch a clear sLream of waLer runs LhaL comes from
under !erusalem somewhere and passlng Lhrough Lhe lounLaln of Lhe vlrgln or belng supplled from
lL reaches Lhls place by way of a Lunnel of heavy masonry 1he famous pool looked exacLly as lL
looked ln Solomons Llme no doubL and Lhe same dusky CrlenLal women came down ln Lhelr old
CrlenLal way and carrled off [ars of Lhe waLer on Lhelr heads [usL as Lhey dld Lhree Lhousand years
ago and [usL as Lhey wlll do flfLy Lhousand years hence lf any of Lhem are sLlll lefL on earLh

We wenL away from Lhere and sLopped aL Lhe lounLaln of Lhe vlrgln 8uL Lhe waLer was noL good
and Lhere was no comforL or peace any where on accounL of Lhe reglmenL of boys


384


and glrls and beggars LhaL persecuLed us all Lhe Llme for bucksheesh 1he gulde wanLed us Lo glve
Lhem some money and we dld lL buL when he wenL on Lo say LhaL Lhey were sLarvlng Lo deaLh we
could noL buL feel LhaL we had done a greaL sln ln Lhrowlng obsLacles ln Lhe way of such a deslrable
consummaLlon and so we Lrled Lo collecL lL back buL lL could noL be done


We enLered Lhe Carden of CeLhsemane and we vlslLed Lhe 1omb of Lhe vlrgln boLh of whlch we
had seen before lL ls noL meeL LhaL l should speak of Lhem now A more flLLlng Llme wlll come

l can noL speak now of Lhe MounL of Cllves or lLs vlew of !erusalem Lhe uead Sea and Lhe
mounLalns of Moab nor of Lhe uamascus CaLe or Lhe Lree LhaL was planLed by klng Codfrey of
!erusalem Cne oughL Lo feel pleasanLly when he Lalks of Lhese Lhlngs l can noL say any Lhlng abouL
Lhe sLone column LhaL pro[ecLs over !ehoshaphaL from Lhe 1emple wall llke a cannon excepL LhaL
Lhe Moslems belleve MahomeL wlll slL asLrlde of lL when he comes Lo [udge Lhe world lL ls a plLy he
could noL [udge lL from some roosL of hls own ln Mecca wlLhouL Lrespasslng on our holy ground
Close by ls Lhe Colden CaLe ln Lhe 1emple wall a gaLe LhaL was an eleganL plece of sculpLure ln Lhe
Llme of Lhe 1emple and ls even so yeL lrom lL ln anclenL Llmes Lhe !ewlsh Plgh rlesL Lurned loose
Lhe scapegoaL and leL hlm flee Lo Lhe wllderness and bear away hls LwelvemonLh load of Lhe slns
of Lhe people lf Lhey were Lo Lurn one loose now he would noL geL as far as Lhe Carden of
CeLhsemane Llll Lhese mlserable vagabonds here would gobble hlm up 342 slns and all 1hey
wouldnL care MuLLonchops and sln ls good enough llvlng for Lhem 1he Moslems waLch Lhe
Colden CaLe wlLh a [ealous eye and an anxlous one for Lhey have an honored LradlLlon LhaL when lL
falls lslamlsm wlll fall and wlLh lL Lhe CLLoman Lmplre lL dld noL grleve me any Lo noLlce LhaL Lhe old
gaLe was geLLlng a llLLle shaky

We are aL home agaln We are exhausLed 1he sun has roasLed us almosL



383



We have full comforL ln one reflecLlon however Cur experlences ln Lurope have LaughL us LhaL ln
Llme Lhls faLlgue wlll be forgoLLen Lhe heaL wlll be forgoLLen Lhe LhlrsL Lhe Llresome volublllLy of
Lhe gulde Lhe persecuLlons of Lhe beggars and Lhen all LhaL wlll be lefL wlll be pleasanL memorles
of !erusalem memorles we shall call up wlLh always lncreaslng lnLeresL as Lhe years go by memorles
whlch some day wlll become all beauLlful when Lhe lasL annoyance LhaL lncumbers Lhem shall have
faded ouL of our mlnds never agaln Lo reLurn Schoolboy days are no happler Lhan Lhe days of
afLer llfe buL we look back upon Lhem regreLfully because we have forgoLLen our punlshmenLs aL
school and how we grleved when our marbles were losL and our klLes desLroyed because we have
forgoLLen all Lhe sorrows and prlvaLlons of LhaL canonlzed epoch and remember only lLs orchard
robberles lLs wooden sword pageanLs and lLs flshlng holydays We are saLlsfled We can walL Cur
reward wlll come 1o us !erusalem and Lodays experlences wlll be an enchanLed memory a year
hence memory whlch money could noL buy from us



341 A pllgrlm lnforms me LhaL lL was noL uavld and Collah buL uavld and Saul l sLlck Lo my own
sLaLemenL Lhe gulde Lold me and he oughL Lo know

342 lavorlLe pllgrlm expresslon
ChapLer 33
CPA1L8 Lv



386



WL casL up Lhe accounL lL fooLed up preLLy falrly 1here was noLhlng more aL !erusalem Lo be seen
excepL Lhe LradlLlonal houses of ulves and Lazarus of Lhe parable Lhe 1ombs of Lhe klngs and Lhose
of Lhe !udges Lhe spoL where Lhey sLoned one of Lhe dlsclples Lo deaLh and beheaded anoLher Lhe
room and Lhe Lable made celebraLed by Lhe LasL Supper Lhe flgLree LhaL !esus wlLhered a number
of hlsLorlcal places abouL CeLhsemane and Lhe MounL of Cllves and flfLeen or LwenLy oLhers ln
dlfferenL porLlons of Lhe clLy lLself

We were approachlng Lhe end Puman naLure asserLed lLself now Cverwork and consequenL
exhausLlon began Lo have Lhelr naLural effecL 1hey began Lo masLer Lhe energles and dull Lhe ardor
of Lhe parLy erfecLly secure now agalnsL falllng Lo accompllsh any deLall of Lhe pllgrlmage Lhey felL
llke drawlng ln advance upon Lhe hollday soon Lo be placed Lo Lhelr credlL 1hey grew a llLLle lazy
1hey were laLe Lo breakfasL and saL long aL dlnner 1hlrLy or forLy pllgrlms had arrlved from Lhe shlp
by Lhe shorL rouLes and much swapplng of gosslp had Lo be lndulged ln And ln hoL afLernoons Lhey
showed a sLrong dlsposlLlon Lo lle on Lhe cool dlvans ln Lhe hoLel and smoke and Lalk abouL pleasanL
experlences of a monLh or so gone by for even Lhus early do eplsodes of Lravel whlch were
someLlmes annoylng someLlmes exasperaLlng and full as ofLen of no consequence aL all when Lhey
Lransplred begln Lo rlse above Lhe dead level of monoLonous remlnlscences and become shapely
landmarks ln ones memory 1he fog


387


whlsLle smoLhered among a mllllon of Lrlfllng sounds ls noL noLlced a block away ln Lhe clLy buL
Lhe sallor hears lL far aL sea whlLher none of Lhose Lhousands of Lrlfllng sounds can reach When one
ls ln 8ome all Lhe domes are allke buL when he has gone away Lwelve mlles Lhe clLy fades uLLerly
from slghL and leaves SL eLers swelllng above Lhe level plaln llke an anchored balloon When one ls
Lravellng ln Lurope Lhe dally lncldenLs seem all allke buL when he has placed Lhem all Lwo monLhs
and Lwo Lhousand mlles behlnd hlm Lhose LhaL were worLhy of belng remembered are promlnenL
and Lhose LhaL were really lnslgnlflcanL have vanlshed 1hls dlsposlLlon Lo smoke and ldle and Lalk
was noL well lL was plaln LhaL lL musL noL be allowed Lo galn ground A dlverslon musL be Lrled or
demorallzaLlon would ensue 1he !ordan !erlcho and Lhe uead Sea were suggesLed 1he remalnder
of !erusalem musL be lefL unvlslLed for a llLLle whlle 1he [ourney was approved aL once new llfe
sLlrred ln every pulse ln Lhe saddle abroad on Lhe plalns sleeplng ln beds bounded only by Lhe
horlzon fancy was aL work wlLh Lhese Lhlngs ln a momenL lL was palnful Lo noLe how readlly Lhese
Lownbred men had Laken Lo Lhe free llfe of Lhe camp and Lhe deserL 1he nomadlc lnsLlncL ls a
human lnsLlncL lL was born wlLh Adam and LransmlLLed Lhrough Lhe paLrlarchs and afLer LhlrLy
cenLurles of sLeady efforL clvlllzaLlon has noL educaLed lL enLlrely ouL of us yeL lL has a charm whlch
once LasLed a man wlll yearn Lo LasLe agaln 1he nomadlc lnsLlncL can noL be educaLed ouL of an
lndlan aL all

1he !ordan [ourney belng approved our dragoman was noLlfled

AL nlne ln Lhe mornlng Lhe caravan was before Lhe hoLel door and we were aL breakfasL 1here was
a commoLlon abouL Lhe place 8umors of war and bloodshed were flylng every where 1he lawless
8edoulns ln Lhe valley of Lhe !ordan and Lhe deserLs down by Lhe uead Sea were up ln arms and
were golng Lo desLroy all comers 1hey had had a baLLle wlLh a Lroop of 1urklsh cavalry and defeaLed
Lhem several men kllled 1hey had shuL up Lhe lnhablLanLs of a vlllage and a


388


1urklsh garrlson ln an old forL near !erlcho and were besleglng Lhem 1hey had marched upon a
camp of our excurslonlsLs by Lhe !ordan and Lhe pllgrlms only saved Lhelr llves by sLeallng away and
flylng Lo !erusalem under whlp and spur ln Lhe darkness of Lhe nlghL AnoLher of our parLles had
been flred on from an ambush and Lhen aLLacked ln Lhe open day ShoLs were flred on boLh sldes
lorLunaLely Lhere was no bloodshed We spoke wlLh Lhe very pllgrlm who had flred one of Lhe shoLs
and learned from hls own llps how ln Lhls lmmlnenL deadly perll only Lhe cool courage of Lhe
pllgrlms Lhelr sLrengLh of numbers and lmposlng dlsplay of war maLerlal had saved Lhem from uLLer
desLrucLlon lL was reporLed LhaL Lhe Consul had requesLed LhaL no more of our pllgrlms should go Lo
Lhe !ordan whlle Lhls sLaLe of Lhlngs lasLed and furLher LhaL he was unwllllng LhaL any more should
go aL leasL wlLhouL an unusually sLrong mlllLary guard Pere was Lrouble 8uL wlLh Lhe horses aL Lhe
door and every body aware of whaL Lhey were Lhere for whaL would you have done? Acknowledged
LhaL you were afrald and backed shamefully ouL? Pardly lL would noL be human naLure where
Lhere were so many women ?ou would have done as we dld sald you were noL afrald of a mllllon
8edoulns and made your wlll and proposed quleLly Lo yourself Lo Lake up an unosLenLaLlous
poslLlon ln Lhe rear of Lhe processlon


l Lhlnk we musL all have deLermlned upon Lhe same llne of LacLlcs for lL dld seem as lf we never
would geL Lo !erlcho l had a noLorlously slow horse buL somehow l could noL keep hlm ln Lhe rear
Lo save my neck Pe was forever Lurnlng up ln Lhe lead ln such cases l Lrembled a llLLle and goL
down Lo flx my saddle 8uL lL was noL of any use 1he oLhers all goL down Lo flx Lhelr saddles Loo l
never saw such a Llme wlLh saddles lL was Lhe flrsL Llme any of Lhem had goL ouL of order ln Lhree
weeks and now Lhey had all broken down aL once l Lrled walklng for exerclse l had noL had
enough ln !erusalem searchlng for holy places 8uL lL was a fallure 1he whole mob were sufferlng for
exerclse and lL was noL flfLeen


389


mlnuLes Llll Lhey were all on fooL and l had Lhe lead agaln lL was very dlscouraglng

1hls was all afLer we goL beyond 8eLhany We sLopped aL Lhe vlllage of 8eLhany an hour ouL from
!erusalem 1hey showed us Lhe Lomb of Lazarus l had raLher llve ln lL Lhan ln any house ln Lhe Lown
And Lhey showed us also a large lounLaln of Lazarus and ln Lhe cenLre of Lhe vlllage Lhe anclenL
dwelllng of Lazarus Lazarus appears Lo have been a man of properLy 1he legends of Lhe Sunday
Schools do hlm greaL ln[usLlce Lhey glve one Lhe lmpresslon LhaL he was poor lL ls because Lhey geL
hlm confused wlLh LhaL Lazarus who had no merlL buL hls vlrLue and vlrLue never has been as
respecLable as money 1he house of Lazarus ls a LhreesLory edlflce of sLone masonry buL Lhe
accumulaLed rubblsh of ages has burled all of lL buL Lhe upper sLory We Look candles and descended
Lo Lhe dlsmal cellllke chambers where !esus saL aL meaL wlLh MarLha and Mary and conversed wlLh
Lhem abouL Lhelr broLher We could noL buL look upon Lhese old dlngy aparLmenLs wlLh a more Lhan
common lnLeresL



390



We had had a gllmpse from a mounLaln Lop of Lhe uead Sea lylng llke a blue shleld ln Lhe plaln of
Lhe !ordan and now we were marchlng down a close flamlng rugged desolaLe deflle where no
llvlng creaLure could en[oy llfe excepL perhaps a salamander lL was such a dreary repulslve
horrlble sollLude! lL was Lhe wllderness where !ohn preached wlLh camels halr abouL hls lolns
ralmenL enough buL he never could have goL hls locusLs and wlld honey here We were moplng
along down Lhrough Lhls dreadful place every man ln Lhe rear Cur guards Lwo gorgeous young
Arab shelks wlLh cargoes of swords guns plsLols and daggers on board were loaflng ahead

8edoulns!

Lvery man shrunk up and dlsappeared ln hls cloLhes llke a mudLurLle My flrsL lmpulse was Lo
dash forward and desLroy Lhe 8edoulns My second was Lo dash Lo Lhe rear Lo see lf Lhere were any
comlng ln LhaL dlrecLlon l acLed on Lhe laLLer lmpulse So dld all Lhe oLhers lf any 8edoulns had
approached us Lhen from LhaL polnL of Lhe compass Lhey would have pald dearly for Lhelr
rashness We all remarked LhaL afLerwards 1here would have been scenes of rloL and


391


bloodshed Lhere LhaL no pen could descrlbe l know LhaL because each man Lold whaL he would
have done lndlvldually and such a medley of sLrange and unheardof lnvenLlons of cruelLy you
could noL concelve of Cne man sald he had calmly made up hls mlnd Lo perlsh where he sLood lf
need be buL never yleld an lnch he was golng Lo walL wlLh deadly paLlence Llll he could counL Lhe
sLrlpes upon Lhe flrsL 8edoulns [ackeL and Lhen counL Lhem and leL hlm have lL AnoLher was golng
Lo slL sLlll Llll Lhe flrsL lance reached wlLhln an lnch of hls breasL and Lhen dodge lL and selze lL l
forbear Lo Lell whaL he was golng Lo do Lo LhaL 8edouln LhaL owned lL lL makes my blood run cold Lo
Lhlnk of lL AnoLher was golng Lo scalp such 8edoulns as fell Lo hls share and Lake hls baldheaded
sons of Lhe deserL home wlLh hlm allve for Lrophles 8uL Lhe wlldeyed pllgrlm rhapsodlsL was sllenL
Pls orbs gleamed wlLh a deadly llghL buL hls llps moved noL AnxleLy grew and he was quesLloned lf
he had goL a 8edouln whaL would he have done wlLh hlm shoL hlm? Pe smlled a smlle of grlm
conLempL and shook hls head Would he have sLabbed hlm? AnoLher shake Would he have
quarLered hlm flayed hlm? More shakes Ch! horror whaL would he have done?


LaL hlm!

Such was Lhe awful senLence LhaL Lhundered from hls llps WhaL was grammar Lo a desperado llke
LhaL ? l was glad ln my hearL LhaL l had been spared Lhese scenes of mallgnanL carnage no 8edoulns
aLLacked our Lerrlble rear And none aLLacked Lhe fronL 1he newcomers were only a relnforcemenL
of cadaverous Arabs ln shlrLs and bare legs senL far ahead of us Lo brandlsh rusLy guns and shouL
and brag and carry on llke lunaLlcs and Lhus scare away all bands of maraudlng 8edoulns LhaL mlghL
lurk abouL our paLh WhaL a shame lL ls LhaL armed whlLe ChrlsLlans musL Lravel under guard of
vermln llke Lhls as a proLecLlon agalnsL Lhe prowllng vagabonds of Lhe deserL Lhose sangulnary
ouLlaws who are always golng Lo do someLhlng desperaLe buL never do lL l may as well menLlon
here LhaL on our whole Lrlp we saw no


392


8edoulns and had no more use for an Arab guard Lhan we could have had for paLenL leaLher booLs
and whlLe kld gloves 1he 8edoulns LhaL aLLacked Lhe oLher parLles of pllgrlms so flercely were
provlded for Lhe occaslon by Lhe Arab guards of Lhose parLles and shlpped from !erusalem for
Lemporary servlce as 8edoulns 1hey meL LogeLher ln full vlew of Lhe pllgrlms afLer Lhe baLLle and
Look lunch dlvlded Lhe bucksheesh exLorLed ln Lhe season of danger and Lhen accompanled Lhe
cavalcade home Lo Lhe clLy! 1he nulsance of an Arab guard ls one whlch ls creaLed by Lhe Shelks and
Lhe 8edoulns LogeLher for muLual proflL lL ls sald and no doubL Lhere ls a good deal of LruLh ln lL


We vlslLed Lhe founLaln Lhe propheL Lllsha sweeLened (lL ls sweeL yeL) where he remalned some
Llme and was fed by Lhe ravens

AnclenL !erlcho ls noL very plcLuresque as a ruln When !oshua marched around lL seven Llmes
some Lhree Lhousand years ago and blew lL down wlLh hls LrumpeL he dld Lhe work so well and so
compleLely LhaL he hardly lefL enough of Lhe clLy Lo casL a shadow 1he curse pronounced agalnsL Lhe
rebulldlng of lL has never been removed Cne klng holdlng Lhe curse ln llghL esLlmaLlon made Lhe
aLLempL buL was sLrlcken sorely for hls presumpLlon lLs slLe wlll always remaln unoccupled and yeL
lL ls one of Lhe very besL locaLlons for a Lown we have seen ln all alesLlne

AL Lwo ln Lhe mornlng Lhey rouLed us ouL of bed anoLher plece of unwarranLed cruelLy anoLher
sLupld efforL of our dragoman Lo geL ahead of a rlval lL was noL Lwo hours Lo Lhe !ordan Powever
we were dressed and under way before any one LhoughL of looklng Lo see whaL Llme lL was and so
we drowsed on Lhrough Lhe chlll nlghL alr and dreamed of camp flres warm beds and oLher
comforLable Lhlngs

1here was no conversaLlon eople do noL Lalk when Lhey are cold and wreLched and sleepy We
nodded ln Lhe saddle aL Llmes and woke up wlLh a sLarL Lo flnd LhaL Lhe processlon had dlsappeared
ln Lhe gloom 1hen Lhere was energy and aLLenLlon Lo buslness unLll lLs dusky ouLllnes came ln slghL


393


agaln Cccaslonally Lhe order was passed ln a low volce down Lhe llne Close up close up!
8edoulns lurk here every where! WhaL an exqulslLe shudder lL senL shlverlng along ones splne!

We reached Lhe famous rlver before four oclock and Lhe nlghL was so black LhaL we could have
rldden lnLo lL wlLhouL seelng lL Some of us were ln an unhappy frame of mlnd We walLed and
walLed for dayllghL buL lL dld noL come llnally we wenL away ln Lhe dark and slepL an hour on Lhe
ground ln Lhe bushes and caughL cold lL was a cosLly nap on LhaL accounL buL oLherwlse lL was a
paylng lnvesLmenL because lL broughL unconsclousness of Lhe dreary mlnuLes and puL us ln a
somewhaL flLLer mood for a flrsL gllmpse of Lhe sacred rlver

WlLh Lhe flrsL susplclon of dawn every pllgrlm Look off hls cloLhes and waded lnLo Lhe dark LorrenL
slnglng


Cn !ordans sLormy banks l sLand
And casL a wlsLful eye
1o Canaans falr and happy land
Where my possesslons lle

8uL Lhey dld noL slng long 1he waLer was so fearfully cold LhaL Lhey were obllged Lo sLop slnglng
and scamper ouL agaln 1hen Lhey sLood on Lhe bank shlverlng and so chagrlned and so grleved LhaL
Lhey merlLed hollesL compasslon 8ecause anoLher dream anoLher cherlshed hope had falled 1hey
had promlsed Lhemselves all along LhaL Lhey would cross Lhe !ordan where Lhe lsraellLes crossed lL
when Lhey enLered Canaan from Lhelr long pllgrlmage ln Lhe deserL 1hey would cross where Lhe
Lwelve sLones were placed ln memory of LhaL greaL evenL Whlle Lhey dld lL Lhey would plcLure Lo
Lhemselves LhaL vasL army of pllgrlms marchlng Lhrough Lhe cloven waLers bearlng Lhe hallowed ark
of Lhe covenanL and shouLlng hosannahs and slnglng songs of Lhanksglvlng and pralse Lach had
promlsed hlmself LhaL he would be Lhe flrsL Lo cross 1hey were aL Lhe goal of Lhelr hopes aL lasL buL
Lhe currenL was Loo swlfL Lhe waLer was Loo cold!



394



lL was Lhen LhaL !ack dld Lhem a servlce WlLh LhaL engaglng recklessness of consequences whlch ls
naLural Lo youLh and so proper and so seemly as well he wenL and led Lhe way across Lhe !ordan
and all was happlness agaln Lvery lndlvldual waded over Lhen and sLood upon Lhe furLher bank
1he waLer was noL qulLe breasL deep any where lf lL had been more we could hardly have
accompllshed Lhe feaL for Lhe sLrong currenL would have swepL us down Lhe sLream and we would
have been exhausLed and drowned before reachlng a place where we could make a landlng 1he
maln ob[ecL compassed Lhe drooplng mlserable parLy saL down Lo walL for Lhe sun agaln for all
wanLed Lo see Lhe waLer as well as feel lL 8uL lL was Loo cold a pasLlme Some cans were fllled from
Lhe holy rlver some canes cuL from lLs banks and Lhen we mounLed and rode relucLanLly away Lo
keep from freezlng Lo deaLh So we saw Lhe !ordan very dlmly 1he LhlckeLs of bushes LhaL bordered
lLs banks Lhrew Lhelr shadows across lLs shallow LurbulenL waLers (sLormy Lhe hymn makes Lhem
whlch ls raLher a compllmenLary sLreLch of fancy) and we could noL [udge of Lhe wldLh of Lhe sLream
by Lhe eye We knew by our wadlng experlence however LhaL many sLreeLs ln Amerlca are double
as wlde as Lhe !ordan

uayllghL came soon afLer we goL under way and ln Lhe course of an hour or Lwo we reached Lhe
uead Sea noLhlng grows ln Lhe flaL burnlng deserL around lL buL weeds and Lhe uead Sea apple Lhe
poeLs say ls beauLlful Lo Lhe eye buL crumbles Lo ashes and dusL when you break lL Such as we
found were noL handsome buL Lhey were blLLer Lo Lhe LasLe 1hey ylelded no dusL lL was because
Lhey were noL rlpe perhaps



393



1he deserL and Lhe barren hllls gleam palnfully ln Lhe sun around Lhe uead Sea and Lhere ls no
pleasanL Lhlng or llvlng creaLure upon lL or abouL lLs borders Lo cheer Lhe eye lL ls a scorchlng arld
repulslve sollLude A sllence broods over Lhe scene LhaL ls depresslng Lo Lhe splrlLs lL makes one
Lhlnk of funerals and deaLh

1he uead Sea ls small lLs waLers are very clear and lL has a pebbly boLLom and ls shallow for some
dlsLance ouL from Lhe shores lL ylelds quanLlLles of asphalLum fragmenLs of lL lle all abouL lLs banks
Lhls sLuff glves Lhe place someLhlng of an unpleasanL smell

All our readlng had LaughL us Lo expecL LhaL Lhe flrsL plunge lnLo Lhe uead Sea would be aLLended
wlLh dlsLresslng resulLs our bodles would feel as lf Lhey were suddenly plerced by mllllons of red
hoL needles Lhe dreadful smarLlng would conLlnue for hours we mlghL even look Lo be bllsLered
from head Lo fooL and suffer mlserably for many days We were dlsappolnLed Cur elghL sprang ln aL
Lhe same Llme LhaL anoLher parLy of pllgrlms dld and nobody screamed once none of Lhem ever dld
complaln of any Lhlng more Lhan a sllghL prlcklng sensaLlon ln places where Lhelr skln was abraded
and Lhen only for a shorL Llme My face smarLed for a couple of hours buL lL was parLly because l goL
lL badly sunburned whlle l was baLhlng and sLald ln so long LhaL lL became plasLered over wlLh salL

no Lhe waLer dld noL bllsLer us lL dld noL cover us wlLh a sllmy ooze and confer upon us an
aLroclous fragrance lL was noL very sllmy and l could noL dlscover LhaL we smelL really any worse
Lhan we have always smelL slnce we have been ln alesLlne lL was only a dlfferenL klnd of smell buL
noL consplcuous on LhaL accounL because we have a greaL deal of varleLy ln LhaL respecL We dldnL
smell Lhere on Lhe !ordan Lhe same as we do ln !erusalem and we donL smell ln !erusalem [usL as
we dld ln nazareLh or 1lberlas or Cesarea hlllppl or any of Lhose oLher rulnous anclenL Lowns ln
Calllee no we change all Lhe Llme and generally for Lhe worse We do our own washlng



396



lL was a funny baLh We could noL slnk Cne could sLreLch hlmself aL full lengLh on hls back wlLh hls
arms on hls breasL and all of hls body above a llne drawn from Lhe corner of hls [aw pasL Lhe mlddle
of hls slde Lhe mlddle of hls leg and Lhrough hls ancle bone would remaln ouL of waLer Pe could llfL
hls head clear ouL lf he chose no poslLlon can be reLalned long you lose your balance and whlrl
over flrsL on your back and Lhen on your face and so on ?ou can lle comforLably on your back wlLh
your head ouL and your legs ouL from your knees down by sLeadylng yourself wlLh your hands ?ou
can slL wlLh your knees drawn up Lo your chln and your arms clasped around Lhem buL you are
bound Lo Lurn over presenLly because you are Lopheavy ln LhaL poslLlon ?ou can sLand up sLralghL
ln waLer LhaL ls over your head and from Lhe mlddle of your breasL upward you wlll noL be weL 8uL
you can noL remaln so 1he waLer wlll soon floaL your feeL Lo Lhe surface ?ou can noL swlm on your
back and make any progress of any consequence because your feeL sLlck away above Lhe surface
and Lhere ls noLhlng Lo propel yourself wlLh buL your heels lf you swlm on your face you klck up Lhe
waLer llke a sLernwheel boaL ?ou make no headway A horse ls so Lopheavy LhaL he can nelLher
swlm nor sLand up ln Lhe uead Sea Pe Lurns over on hls slde aL once Some of us baLhed for more
Lhan an hour and Lhen came ouL coaLed wlLh salL Llll we shone llke lclcles We scrubbed lL off wlLh a
coarse Lowel and rode off wlLh a splendld brandnew smell Lhough lL was one whlch was noL any
more dlsagreeable Lhan Lhose we have been for several weeks en[oylng lL was Lhe varlegaLed
vlllalny and novelLy of lL LhaL charmed us SalL crysLals gllLLer ln Lhe sun abouL Lhe shores of Lhe lake
ln places Lhey coaL Lhe ground llke a brllllanL crusL of lce

When l was a boy l somehow goL Lhe lmpresslon LhaL Lhe rlver !ordan was four Lhousand mlles
long and LhlrLyflve mlles wlde lL ls only nlneLy mlles long and so crooked LhaL a man does noL know
whlch slde of lL he ls on half Lhe Llme ln golng nlneLy mlles lL does noL geL over more Lhan flfLy mlles
of ground lL ls noL any wlder Lhan 8roadway ln new ?ork


397


1here ls Lhe Sea of Calllee and Lhls uead Sea nelLher of Lhem LwenLy mlles long or LhlrLeen wlde
And yeL when l was ln Sunday School l LhoughL Lhey were slxLy Lhousand mlles ln dlameLer


1ravel and experlence mar Lhe grandesL plcLures and rob us of Lhe mosL cherlshed LradlLlons of our
boyhood Well leL Lhem go l have already seen Lhe Lmplre of klng Solomon dlmlnlsh Lo Lhe slze of
Lhe SLaLe of ennsylvanla l suppose l can bear Lhe reducLlon of Lhe seas and Lhe rlver

We looked every where as we passed along buL never saw graln or crysLal of LoLs wlfe lL was a
greaL dlsappolnLmenL lor many and many a year we had known her sad sLory and Laken LhaL
lnLeresL ln her whlch mlsforLune always lnsplres 8uL she was gone Per plcLuresque form no longer
looms above Lhe deserL of Lhe uead Sea Lo remlnd Lhe LourlsL of Lhe doom LhaL fell upon Lhe losL
clLles

l can noL descrlbe Lhe hldeous afLernoons rlde from Lhe uead Sea Lo Mars Saba lL oppresses me
yeL Lo Lhlnk of lL 1he sun so pelLed us LhaL Lhe Lears ran down our cheeks once or Lwlce 1he
ghasLly Lreeless grassless breaLhless canons smoLhered us as lf we had been ln an oven 1he sun
had poslLlve welghL Lo lL l Lhlnk noL a man could slL erecL under lL All drooped low ln Lhe saddles
!ohn preached ln Lhls Wllderness! lL musL have been exhausLlng work WhaL a very heaven Lhe
messy Lowers and ramparLs of vasL Mars Saba looked Lo us when we caughL a flrsL gllmpse of Lhem!

We sLald aL Lhls greaL convenL all nlghL guesLs of Lhe hosplLable prlesLs Mars Saba perched upon
a crag a human nesL sLock hlgh up agalnsL a perpendlcular mounLaln wall ls a world of grand
masonry LhaL rlses Lerrace upon Lerrace away above your head llke Lhe Lerraced and reLreaLlng
colonnades one sees ln fanclful plcLures of 8elshazzars leasL and Lhe palaces of Lhe anclenL
haraohs no oLher human dwelllng ls near lL was founded many ages ago by a holy recluse who
llved aL flrsL ln a cave ln Lhe rock a cave whlch ls lnclosed ln Lhe convenL walls now and was
reverenLly shown Lo us by Lhe prlesLs 1hls recluse by hls rlgorous LorLurlng of hls flesh


398


hls dleL of bread and waLer hls uLLer wlLhdrawal from all socleLy and from Lhe vanlLles of Lhe world
and hls consLanL prayer and salnLly conLemplaLlon of a skull lnsplred an emulaLlon LhaL broughL
abouL hlm many dlsclples 1he preclplce on Lhe opposlLe slde of Lhe canyon ls well perforaLed wlLh
Lhe small holes Lhey dug ln Lhe rock Lo llve ln 1he presenL occupanLs of Mars Saba abouL sevenLy ln
number are all hermlLs 1hey wear a coarse robe an ugly brlmless sLoveplpe of a haL and go
wlLhouL shoes 1hey eaL noLhlng whaLever buL bread and salL Lhey drlnk noLhlng buL waLer As long
as Lhey llve Lhey can never go ouLslde Lhe walls or look upon a woman for no woman ls permlLLed
Lo enLer Mars Saba upon any preLexL whaLsoever


Some of Lhose men have been shuL up Lhere for LhlrLy years ln all LhaL dreary Llme Lhey have noL
heard Lhe laughLer of a chlld or Lhe blessed volce of a woman Lhey have seen no human Lears no
human smlles Lhey have known no human [oys no wholesome human sorrows ln Lhelr hearLs are
no memorles of Lhe pasL ln Lhelr bralns no dreams of Lhe fuLure All LhaL ls lovable beauLlful
worLhy Lhey have puL far away from Lhem agalnsL all Lhlngs LhaL are pleasanL Lo look upon and all
sounds LhaL are muslc Lo Lhe ear Lhey have barred Lhelr masslve doors and reared Lhelr relenLless
walls of sLone forever 1hey have banlshed Lhe Lender grace of llfe and lefL only Lhe sapped and
sklnny mockery 1helr llps are llps LhaL never klss and never slng Lhelr hearLs are hearLs LhaL never
haLe and never love Lhelr breasLs are breasLs LhaL never swell wlLh Lhe senLlmenL l have a counLry
and a flag 1hey are dead men who walk

l seL down Lhese flrsL LhoughLs because Lhey are naLural noL because Lhey are [usL or because lL ls
rlghL Lo seL Lhem down lL ls easy for bookmakers Lo say l LhoughL so and so as l looked upon such
and such a scene when Lhe LruLh ls Lhey LhoughL all Lhose flne Lhlngs afLerwards Cnes flrsL
LhoughL ls noL llkely Lo be sLrlcLly accuraLe yeL lL ls no crlme Lo Lhlnk lL and none Lo wrlLe lL down
sub[ecL Lo modlflcaLlon by laLer experlence 1hese hermlLs are dead men ln several


399


respecLs buL noL ln all and lL ls noL proper LhaL Lhlnklng lll of Lhem aL flrsL l should go on dolng so
or speaklng lll of Lhem l should relLeraLe Lhe words and sLlck Lo Lhem no Lhey LreaLed us Loo klndly
for LhaL 1here ls someLhlng human abouL Lhem somewhere 1hey knew we were forelgners and
roLesLanLs and noL llkely Lo feel admlraLlon or much frlendllness Loward Lhem 8uL Lhelr large
charlLy was above conslderlng such Lhlngs 1hey slmply saw ln us men who were hungry and LhlrsLy
and Llred and LhaL was sufflclenL 1hey opened Lhelr doors and gave us welcome 1hey asked no
quesLlons and Lhey made no selfrlghLeous dlsplay of Lhelr hosplplLallLy 1hey flshed for no
compllmenLs 1hey moved quleLly abouL seLLlng Lhe Lable for us maklng Lhe beds and brlnglng
waLer Lo wash ln and pald no heed when we sald lL was wrong for Lhem Lo do LhaL when we had
men whose buslness lL was Lo perform such offlces We fared mosL comforLably and saL laLe aL
dlnner We walked all over Lhe bulldlng wlLh Lhe hermlLs afLerward and Lhen saL on Lhe lofLy
baLLlemenLs and smoked whlle we en[oyed Lhe cool alr Lhe wlld scenery and Lhe sunseL Cne or Lwo
chose cosy bedrooms Lo sleep ln buL Lhe nomadlc lnsLlncL prompLed Lhe resL Lo sleep on Lhe broad
dlvan LhaL exLended around Lhe greaL hall because lL seemed llke sleeplng ouL of doors and so was
more cheery and lnvlLlng lL was a royal resL we had


When we goL up Lo breakfasL ln Lhe mornlng we were new men lor all Lhls hosplLallLy no sLrlcL
charge was made We could glve someLhlng lf we chose we need glve noLhlng lf we were poor or lf
we were sLlngy 1he pauper and Lhe mlser are as free as any ln Lhe CaLhollc ConvenLs of alesLlne l
have been educaLed Lo enmlLy Loward every Lhlng LhaL ls CaLhollc and someLlmes ln consequence
of Lhls l flnd lL much easler Lo dlscover CaLhollc faulLs Lhan CaLhollc merlLs 8uL Lhere ls one Lhlng l
feel no dlsposlLlon Lo overlook and no dlsposlLlon Lo forgeL and LhaL ls Lhe honesL graLlLude l and
all pllgrlms owe Lo Lhe ConvenL laLhers ln alesLlne 1helr doors are always open and Lhere ls
always a welcome for any worLhy man who comes wheLher he comes ln rags or clad ln


600


purple 1he CaLhollc ConvenLs are a prlceless blesslng Lo Lhe poor A pllgrlm wlLhouL money
wheLher he be a roLesLanL or a CaLhollc can Lravel Lhe lengLh and breadLh of alesLlne and ln Lhe
mldsL of her deserL wasLes flnd wholesome food and a clean bed every nlghL ln Lhese bulldlngs
llgrlms ln beLLer clrcumsLances are ofLen sLrlcken down by Lhe sun and Lhe fevers of Lhe counLry
and Lhen Lhelr savlng refuge ls Lhe ConvenL WlLhouL Lhese hosplLable reLreaLs Lravel ln alesLlne
would be a pleasure whlch none buL Lhe sLrongesL men could dare Lo underLake Cur parLy pllgrlms
and all wlll always be ready and always wllllng Lo Louch glasses and drlnk healLh prosperlLy and
long llfe Lo Lhe ConvenL laLhers of alesLlne

So resLed and refreshed we fell lnLo llne and flled away over Lhe barren mounLalns of !udea and
along rocky rldges and Lhrough sLerlle gorges where eLernal sllence and sollLude relgned Lven Lhe
scaLLerlng groups of armed shepherds we meL Lhe afLernoon before Lendlng Lhelr flocks of long
halred goaLs were wanLlng here We saw buL Lwo llvlng creaLures 1hey were gazelles of sofLeyed
noLorleLy 1hey looked llke very young klds buL Lhey annlhllaLed dlsLance llke an express Lraln l have
noL seen anlmals LhaL moved fasLer unless l mlghL say lL of Lhe anLelopes of our own greaL plalns

AL nlne or Len ln Lhe mornlng we reached Lhe laln of Lhe Shepherds and sLood ln a walled garden
of ollves where Lhe shepherds were waLchlng Lhelr flocks by nlghL elghLeen cenLurles ago when Lhe
mulLlLude of angels broughL Lhem Lhe Lldlngs LhaL Lhe Savlour was born A quarLer of a mlle away
was 8eLhlehem of !udea and Lhe pllgrlms Look some of Lhe sLone wall and hurrled on

1he laln of Lhe Shepherds ls a deserL paved wlLh loose sLones vold of vegeLaLlon glarlng ln Lhe
flerce sun Cnly Lhe muslc of Lhe angels lL knew once could charm lLs shrubs and flowers Lo llfe agaln
and resLore lLs vanlshed beauLy no less poLenL enchanLmenL could avall Lo work Lhls mlracle

ln Lhe huge Church of Lhe naLlvlLy ln 8eLhlehem bullL flfLeen hundred years ago by Lhe lnveLeraLe
SL Pelena Lhey Look us below ground and lnLo a groLLo cuL ln Lhe llvlng rock 1hls was


601


Lhe manger where ChrlsL was born A sllver sLar seL ln Lhe floor bears a LaLln lnscrlpLlon Lo LhaL
effecL lL ls pollshed wlLh Lhe klsses of many generaLlons of worshlplng pllgrlms 1he groLLo was
Lrlcked ouL ln Lhe usual LasLeless sLyle observable ln all Lhe holy places of alesLlne As ln Lhe Church
of Lhe Poly Sepulchre envy and uncharlLableness were apparenL here 1he prlesLs and Lhe members
of Lhe Creek and LaLln churches can noL come by Lhe same corrldor Lo kneel ln Lhe sacred blrLhplace
of Lhe 8edeemer buL are compelled Lo approach and reLlre by dlfferenL avenues lesL Lhey quarrel
and flghL on Lhls hollesL ground on earLh


l have no medlLaLlons suggesLed by Lhls spoL where Lhe very flrsL Merry ChrlsLmas! was
uLLered ln all Lhe world and from whence Lhe frlend of my chlldhood SanLa Claus deparLed on hls
flrsL [ourney Lo gladden and conLlnue Lo gladden roarlng flresldes on wlnLry mornlngs ln many a
dlsLanL land forever and forever l Louch wlLh reverenL flnger Lhe acLual spoL where Lhe lnfanL !esus
lay buL l Lhlnk noLhlng

?ou can noL Lhlnk ln Lhls place any more Lhan you can ln any oLher ln alesLlne LhaL would be llkely
Lo lnsplre reflecLlon 8eggars crlpples and monks compass you abouL and make you Lhlnk only of
bucksheesh when you would raLher Lhlnk of someLhlng more ln keeplng wlLh Lhe characLer of Lhe
spoL

l was glad Lo geL away and glad when we had walked Lhrough Lhe groLLoes where Luseblus wroLe
and !erome fasLed and !oseph prepared for Lhe fllghL lnLo LgypL and Lhe dozen oLher dlsLlngulshed
groLLoes and knew we were done 1he Church of Lhe naLlvlLy ls almosL as well packed wlLh
exceedlng holy places as Lhe Church of Lhe Poly Sepulchre lLself 1hey even have ln lL a groLLo
whereln LwenLy Lhousand chlldren were slaughLered by Perod when he was seeklng Lhe llfe of Lhe
lnfanL Savlour

We wenL Lo Lhe Mllk CroLLo of course a cavern where Mary hld herself for a whlle before Lhe
fllghL lnLo LgypL lLs walls were black before she enLered buL ln suckllng Lhe Chlld a drop of her mllk
fell upon Lhe floor and lnsLanLly changed Lhe darkness of Lhe walls Lo lLs own snowy hue We Look


602


many llLLle fragmenLs of sLone from here because lL ls well known ln all Lhe LasL LhaL a barren
woman haLh need only Lo Louch her llps Lo one of Lhese and her falllng wlll deparL from her We Look
many speclmens Lo Lhe end LhaL we mlghL confer happlness upon cerLaln households LhaL we woL
of

We goL away from 8eLhlehem and lLs Lroops of beggars and rellcpeddlers ln Lhe afLernoon and
afLer spendlng some llLLle Llme aL 8achels Lomb hurrled Lo !erusalem as fasL as posslble l never was
so glad Lo geL home agaln before l never have en[oyed resL as l have en[oyed lL durlng Lhese lasL few
hours 1he [ourney Lo Lhe uead Sea Lhe !ordan and 8eLhlehem was shorL buL lL was an exhausLlng
one Such roasLlng heaL such oppresslve sollLude and such dlsmal desolaLlon can noL surely exlsL
elsewhere on earLh And such faLlgue!

1he commonesL sagaclLy warns me LhaL l oughL Lo Lell Lhe cusLomary pleasanL lle and say l Lore
myself relucLanLly away from every noLed place ln alesLlne Lvery body Lells LhaL buL wlLh as llLLle
osLenLaLlon as l may l doubL Lhe word of every he who Lells lL l could Lake a dreadful oaLh LhaL l
have never heard any one of our forLy pllgrlms say any Lhlng of Lhe sorL and Lhey are as worLhy and
as slncerely devouL as any LhaL come here 1hey wlll say lL when Lhey geL home fasL enough buL
why should Lhey noL? 1hey do noL wlsh Lo array Lhemselves agalnsL all Lhe LamarLlnes and Crlmeses
ln Lhe world lL does noL sLand Lo reason LhaL men are relucLanL Lo leave places where Lhe very llfe ls
almosL badgered ouL of Lhem by lmporLunaLe swarms of beggars and peddlers who hang ln sLrlngs Lo
ones sleeves and coaLLalls and shrlek and shouL ln hls ears and horrlfy hls vlslon wlLh Lhe ghasLly
sores and malformaLlons Lhey exhlblL Cne ls glad Lo geL away l have heard shameless people say
Lhey were glad Lo geL away from Ladles lesLlvals where Lhey were lmporLuned Lo buy by bevles of
lovely young ladles 1ransform Lhose hourls lnLo dusky hags and ragged savages and replace Lhelr
rounded forms wlLh shrunken and knoLLed dlsLorLlons Lhelr sofL hands wlLh scarred and hldeous
deformlLles and Lhe persuaslve muslc of Lhelr volces wlLh Lhe dlscordanL dln of a haLed language
and Lhen


603


see how much llngerlng relucLance Lo leave could be musLered no lL ls Lhe neaL Lhlng Lo say you
were relucLanL and Lhen append Lhe profound LhoughLs LhaL sLruggled for uLLerance ln your
braln buL lL ls Lhe Lrue Lhlng Lo say you were noL relucLanL and found lL lmposslble Lo Lhlnk aL all
Lhough ln good sooLh lL ls noL respecLable Lo say lL and noL poeLlcal elLher


We do noL Lhlnk ln Lhe holy places we Lhlnk ln bed afLerwards when Lhe glare and Lhe nolse and
Lhe confuslon are gone and ln fancy we revlslL alone Lhe solemn monumenLs of Lhe pasL and
summon Lhe phanLom pageanLs of an age LhaL has passed away
ChapLer 36
CPA1L8 Lvl



604



WL vlslLed all Lhe holy places abouL !erusalem whlch we had lefL unvlslLed when we [ourneyed Lo
Lhe !ordan and Lhen abouL Lhree oclock one afLernoon we fell lnLo processlon and marched ouL aL
Lhe sLaLely uamascus gaLe and Lhe walls of !erusalem shuL us ouL forever We paused on Lhe
summlL of a dlsLanL hlll and Look a flnal look and made a flnal farewell Lo Lhe venerable clLy whlch
had been such a good home Lo us

lor abouL four hours we Lraveled down hlll consLanLly We followed a narrow brldlepaLh whlch
Lraversed Lhe beds of Lhe mounLaln gorges and when we could we goL ouL of Lhe way of Lhe long
Lralns of laden camels and asses and when we could noL we suffered Lhe mlsery of belng mashed up
agalnsL perpendlcular walls of rock and havlng our legs brulsed by Lhe passlng frelghL !ack was
caughL Lwo or Lhree Llmes and uan and MoulL as ofLen Cne horse had a heavy fall on Lhe sllppery
rocks and Lhe oLhers had narrow escapes Powever Lhls was as good a road as we had found ln
alesLlne and posslbly even Lhe besL and so Lhere was noL much grumbllng

SomeLlmes ln Lhe glens we came upon luxurlanL orchards of flgs aprlcoLs pomegranaLes and
such Lhlngs buL ofLener Lhe scenery was rugged mounLalnous verdureless and forblddlng Pere and
Lhere Lowers were perched hlgh up on accllvlLles whlch seemed almosL lnaccesslble 1hls fashlon ls
as old as alesLlne lLself and was adopLed ln anclenL Llmes for securlLy agalnsL enemles

We crossed Lhe brook whlch furnlshed uavld Lhe sLone LhaL


603


kllled Collah and no doubL we looked upon Lhe very ground whereon LhaL noLed baLLle was foughL
We passed by a plcLuresque old goLhlc ruln whose sLone pavemenLs had rung Lo Lhe armed heels of
many a valorous Crusader and we rode Lhrough a plece of counLry whlch we were Lold once knew
Samson as a clLlzen


We sLald all nlghL wlLh Lhe good monks aL Lhe convenL of 8amleh and ln Lhe mornlng goL up and
galloped Lhe horses a good parL of Lhe dlsLance from Lhere Lo !affa or !oppa for Lhe plaln was as
level as a floor and free from sLones and besldes Lhls was our lasL march ln Poly Land 1hese Lwo or
Lhree hours flnlshed we and Lhe Llred horses could have resL and sleep as long as we wanLed lL 1hls
was Lhe plaln of whlch !oshua spoke when he sald Sun sLand Lhou sLlll on Clbeon and Lhou moon
ln Lhe valley of A[alon As we drew near Lo !affa Lhe boys spurred up Lhe horses and lndulged ln Lhe
exclLemenL of an acLual race an experlence we had hardly had slnce we raced on donkeys ln Lhe
Azores lslands

We came flnally Lo Lhe noble grove of orangeLrees ln whlch Lhe CrlenLal clLy of !affa lles burled
we passed Lhrough Lhe walls and rode agaln down narrow sLreeLs and among swarms of anlmaLed
rags and saw oLher slghLs and had oLher experlences we had long been famlllar wlLh We
dlsmounLed for Lhe lasL Llme and ouL ln Lhe offlng rldlng aL anchor we saw Lhe shlp! l puL an
exclamaLlon polnL Lhere because we felL one when we saw Lhe vessel 1he long pllgrlmage was
ended and somehow we seemed Lo feel glad of lL

lor descrlpLlon of !affa see unlversal CazeLLeer Slmon Lhe 1anner formerly llved here We wenL
Lo hls house All Lhe pllgrlms vlslL Slmon Lhe 1anners house eLer saw Lhe vlslon of Lhe beasLs leL
down ln a sheeL when he lay upon Lhe roof of Slmon Lhe 1anners house lL was from !affa LhaL !onah
salled when he was Lold Lo go and prophesy agalnsL nlneveh and no doubL lL was noL far from Lhe
Lown LhaL Lhe whale Lhrew hlm up when he dlscovered LhaL he had no LlckeL !onah was dlsobedlenL
and of a faulLflndlng complalnlng dlsposlLlon and deserves Lo be llghLly spoken of almosL 1he


606


Llmbers used ln Lhe consLrucLlon of Solomons 1emple were floaLed Lo !affa ln rafLs and Lhe narrow
openlng ln Lhe reef Lhrough whlch Lhey passed Lo Lhe shore ls noL an lnch wlder or a shade less
dangerous Lo navlgaLe Lhan lL was Lhen Such ls Lhe sleepy naLure of Lhe populaLlon alesLlnes only
good seaporL has now and always had !affa has a hlsLory and a sLlrrlng one lL wlll noL be dlscovered
any where ln Lhls book lf Lhe reader wlll call aL Lhe clrculaLlng llbrary and menLlon my name he wlll
be furnlshed wlLh books whlch wlll afford hlm Lhe fullesL lnformaLlon concernlng !affa

So ends Lhe pllgrlmage We oughL Lo be glad LhaL we dld noL make lL for Lhe purpose of feasLlng
our eyes upon fasclnaLlng aspecLs of naLure for we should have been dlsappolnLed aL leasL aL Lhls
season of Lhe year A wrlLer ln Llfe ln Lhe Poly Land observes


MonoLonous and unlnvlLlng as much of Lhe Poly Land wlll appear Lo persons accusLomed Lo Lhe
almosL consLanL verdure of flowers ample sLreams and varled surface of our own counLry we musL
remember LhaL lLs aspecL Lo Lhe lsraellLes afLer Lhe weary march of forLy years Lhrough Lhe deserL
musL have been very dlfferenL


Whlch all of us wlll freely granL 8uL lL Lruly ls monoLonous and unlnvlLlng and Lhere ls no
sufflclenL reason for descrlblng lL as belng oLherwlse

Cf all Lhe lands Lhere are for dlsmal scenery l Lhlnk alesLlne musL be Lhe prlnce 1he hllls are
barren Lhey are dull of color Lhey are unplcLuresque ln shape 1he valleys are unslghLly deserLs
frlnged wlLh a feeble vegeLaLlon LhaL has an expresslon abouL lL of belng sorrowful and despondenL
1he uead Sea and Lhe Sea of Calllee sleep ln Lhe mldsL of a vasL sLreLch of hlll and plaln whereln Lhe
eye resLs upon no pleasanL LlnL no sLrlklng ob[ecL no sofL plcLure dreamlng ln a purple haze or
moLLled wlLh Lhe shadows of Lhe clouds Lvery ouLllne ls harsh every feaLure ls dlsLlncL Lhere ls no
perspecLlve dlsLance works no enchanLmenL here lL ls a hopeless dreary hearLbroken land

Small shreds and paLches of lL musL be very beauLlful ln Lhe full flush of sprlng however and all Lhe
more beauLlful by


607


conLrasL wlLh Lhe farreachlng desolaLlon LhaL surrounds Lhem on every slde l would llke much Lo
see Lhe frlnges of Lhe !ordan ln sprlngLlme and Shechem Lsdraelon A[alon and Lhe borders of
Calllee buL even Lhen Lhese spoLs would seem mere Loy gardens seL aL wlde lnLervals ln Lhe wasLe
of a llmlLless desolaLlon

alesLlne slLs ln sackcloLh and ashes Cver lL broods Lhe spell of a curse LhaL has wlLhered lLs flelds
and feLLered lLs energles Where Sodom and Comorrah reared Lhelr domes and Lowers LhaL solemn
sea now floods Lhe plaln ln whose blLLer waLers no llvlng Lhlng exlsLs over whose waveless surface
Lhe bllsLerlng alr hangs moLlonless and dead abouL whose borders noLhlng grows buL weeds and
scaLLerlng LufLs of cane and LhaL Lreacherous frulL LhaL promlses refreshmenL Lo parchlng llps buL
Lurns Lo ashes aL Lhe Louch nazareLh ls forlorn abouL LhaL ford of !ordan where Lhe hosLs of lsrael
enLered Lhe romlsed Land wlLh songs of re[olclng one flnds only a squalld camp of fanLasLlc
8edoulns of Lhe deserL !erlcho Lhe accursed lles a molderlng ruln Loday even as !oshuas mlracle
lefL lL more Lhan Lhree Lhousand years ago 8eLhlehem and 8eLhany ln Lhelr poverLy and Lhelr
humlllaLlon have noLhlng abouL Lhem now Lo remlnd one LhaL Lhey once knew Lhe hlgh honor of Lhe
Savlours presence Lhe hallowed spoL where Lhe shepherds waLched Lhelr flocks by nlghL and where
Lhe angels sang eace on earLh good wlll Lo men ls unLenanLed by any llvlng creaLure and
unblessed by any feaLure LhaL ls pleasanL Lo Lhe eye 8enowned !erusalem lLself Lhe sLaLellesL name
ln hlsLory has losL all lLs anclenL grandeur and ls become a pauper vlllage Lhe rlches of Solomon are
no longer Lhere Lo compel Lhe admlraLlon of vlslLlng CrlenLal queens Lhe wonderful Lemple whlch
was Lhe prlde and Lhe glory of lsrael ls gone and Lhe CLLoman crescenL ls llfLed above Lhe spoL
where on LhaL mosL memorable day ln Lhe annals of Lhe world Lhey reared Lhe Poly Cross 1he
noLed Sea of Calllee where 8oman fleeLs once rode aL anchor and Lhe dlsclples of Lhe Savlour salled
ln Lhelr shlps was long ago deserLed by Lhe devoLees of war and commerce and lLs borders are a
sllenL wllderness Capernaum


608


ls a shapeless ruln Magdala ls Lhe home of beggared Arabs 8eLhsalda and Chorazln have vanlshed
from Lhe earLh and Lhe deserL places round abouL Lhem where Lhousands of men once llsLened Lo
Lhe Savlours volce and aLe Lhe mlraculous bread sleep ln Lhe hush of a sollLude LhaL ls lnhablLed
only by blrds of prey and skulklng foxes


alesLlne ls desolaLe and unlovely And why should lL be oLherwlse? Can Lhe curse of Lhe uelLy
beauLlfy a land?

alesLlne ls no more of Lhls workday world lL ls sacred Lo poeLry and LradlLlon lL ls dreamland
ChapLer 37
CPA1L8 Lvll



609



l1 was worLh a klngdom Lo be aL sea agaln lL was a rellef Lo drop all anxleLy whaLsoever all
quesLlons as Lo where we should go how long we should sLay wheLher lL were worLh whlle Lo go or
noL all anxleLles abouL Lhe condlLlon of Lhe horses all such quesLlons as Shall we ever geL Lo
waLer? Shall we ever lunch? lerguson how many more mllllon mlles have we goL Lo creep under
Lhls awful sun before we camp? lL was a rellef Lo casL all Lhese LorLurlng llLLle anxleLles far away
ropes of sLeel Lhey were and every one wlLh a separaLe and dlsLlncL sLraln on lL and feel Lhe
Lemporary conLenLmenL LhaL ls born of Lhe banlshmenL of all care and responslblllLy We dld noL
look aL Lhe compass we dld noL care now where Lhe shlp wenL Lo so LhaL she wenL ouL of slghL of
land as qulckly as posslble When l Lravel agaln l wlsh Lo go ln a pleasure shlp no amounL of money
could have purchased for us ln a sLrange vessel and among unfamlllar faces Lhe perfecL saLlsfacLlon
and Lhe sense of belng aL home agaln whlch we experlenced when we sLepped on board Lhe
Cuaker ClLy our own shlp afLer Lhls wearlsome pllgrlmage lL ls a someLhlng we have felL
always when we reLurned Lo her and a someLhlng we had no deslre Lo sell

We Look off our blue woollen shlrLs our spurs and heavy booLs our sangulnary revolvers and our
bucksklnseaLed panLaloons and goL shaved and came ouL ln ChrlsLlan cosLume once more All buL
!ack who changed all oLher arLlcles of hls dress buL clung Lo hls Lravellng panLaloons 1hey sLlll
preserved Lhelr ample buckskln seaL lnLacL and so hls shorL pea [ackeL and hls long Lhln legs asslsLed
Lo make hlm a plcLuresque


610


ob[ecL whenever he sLood on Lhe forecasLle looklng abroad upon Lhe ocean over Lhe bows AL such
Llmes hls faLhers lasL ln[uncLlon suggesLed lLself Lo me Pe sald

!ack my boy you are abouL Lo go among a brllllanL company of genLlemen and ladles who are
reflned and culLlvaLed and Lhoroughly accompllshed ln Lhe manners and cusLoms of good socleLy
LlsLen Lo Lhelr conversaLlon sLudy Lhelr hablLs of llfe and learn 8e pollLe and obllglng Lo all and
conslderaLe Lowards every ones oplnlons falllngs and pre[udlces Command Lhe [usL respecL of all
your fellowvoyagers even Lhough you fall Lo wln Lhelr frlendly regard And !ack donL you ever
dare whlle you llve appear ln publlc on Lhose decks ln falr weaLher ln a cosLume unbecomlng your
moLhers drawlngroom!

lL would have been worLh any prlce lf Lhe faLher of Lhls hopeful youLh could have sLepped on
board some Llme and seen hlm sLandlng hlgh on Lhe forecasLle pea [ackeL Lasseled red fez
buckskln paLch and all placldly conLemplaLlng Lhe ocean a rare specLacle for any bodys drawlng
room

AfLer a pleasanL voyage and a good resL we drew near Lo LgypL and ouL of Lhe mellowesL of
sunseLs we saw Lhe domes and mlnareLs of Alexandrla rlse lnLo vlew As soon as Lhe anchor was
down !ack and l goL a boaL and wenL ashore lL was nlghL by Lhls Llme and Lhe oLher passengers
were conLenL Lo remaln aL home


611


and vlslL anclenL LgypL afLer breakfasL lL was Lhe way Lhey dld aL ConsLanLlnople 1hey Look a llvely
lnLeresL ln new counLrles buL Lhelr schoolboy lmpaLlence had worn off and Lhey had learned LhaL lL
was wlsdom Lo Lake Lhlngs easy and go along comforLably Lhese old counLrles do noL go away ln
Lhe nlghL Lhey sLay Llll afLer breakfasL


When we reached Lhe pler we found an army of LgypLlan boys wlLh donkeys no larger Lhan
Lhemselves walLlng for passengers for donkeys are Lhe omnlbuses of LgypL We preferred Lo walk
buL we could noL have our own way 1he boys crowded abouL us clamored around us and slewed
Lhelr donkeys exacLly across our paLh no maLLer whlch way we Lurned 1hey were goodnaLured
rascals and so were Lhe donkeys We mounLed and Lhe boys ran behlnd us and kepL Lhe donkeys ln
a furlous gallop as ls Lhe fashlon aL uamascus l belleve l would raLher rlde a donkey Lhan any beasL
ln Lhe world Pe goes brlskly he puLs on no alrs he ls doclle Lhough


612


oplnlonaLed SaLan hlmself could noL scare hlm and he ls convenlenL very convenlenL When you
are Llred rldlng you can resL your feeL on Lhe ground and leL hlm gallop from under you

We found Lhe hoLel and secured rooms and were happy Lo know LhaL Lhe rlnce of Wales had
sLopped Lhere once 1hey had lL every where on slgns no oLher prlnces had sLopped Lhere slnce Llll
!ack and l came We wenL abroad Lhrough Lhe Lown Lhen and found lL a clLy of huge commerclal
bulldlngs and broad handsome sLreeLs brllllanL wlLh gasllghL 8y nlghL lL was a sorL of remlnlscence
of arls 8uL flnally !ack found an lcecream saloon and LhaL closed lnvesLlgaLlons for LhaL evenlng
1he weaLher was very hoL lL had been many a day slnce !ack had seen lcecream and so lL was
useless Lo Lalk of leavlng Lhe saloon Llll lL shuL up

ln Lhe mornlng Lhe losL Lrlbes of Amerlca came ashore and lnfesLed Lhe hoLels and Look possesslon
of all Lhe donkeys and oLher open barouches LhaL offered 1hey wenL ln plcLuresque processlon Lo
Lhe Amerlcan Consuls Lo Lhe greaL gardens Lo CleopaLras needles Lo ompeys lllar Lo Lhe palace
of Lhe vlceroy of LgypL Lo Lhe nlle Lo Lhe superb groves of daLepalms Cne of our mosL lnveLeraLe
rellchunLers had hls hammer wlLh hlm and Lrled Lo break a fragmenL off Lhe uprlghL needle and
could noL do lL he Lrled Lhe prosLraLe one and falled he borrowed a heavy sledge hammer from a
mason and Lrled agaln Pe Lrled ompeys lllar and Lhls baffled hlm ScaLLered all abouL Lhe mlghLy
monollLh were sphlnxes of noble counLenance carved ouL of LgypLlan granlLe as


613


hard as blue sLeel and whose shapely feaLures Lhe wear of flve Lhousand years had falled Lo mark or
mar 1he rellchunLer baLLered aL Lhese perslsLenLly and sweaLed profusely over hls work Pe mlghL
as well have aLLempLed Lo deface Lhe moon 1hey regarded hlm serenely wlLh Lhe sLaLely smlle Lhey
had worn so long and whlch seemed Lo say eck away poor lnsecL we were noL made Lo fear
such as you ln Lenscore dragglng ages we have seen more of your klnd Lhan Lhere are sands aL your
feeL have Lhey lefL a blemlsh upon us?


8uL l am forgeLLlng Lhe !affa ColonlsLs AL !affa we had Laken on board some forLy members of a
very celebraLed communlLy 1hey were male and female bables young boys and young glrls young
marrled people and some who had passed a shade beyond Lhe prlme of llfe l refer Lo Lhe Adams
!affa Colony CLhers had deserLed before We lefL ln !affa Mr Adams hls wlfe and flfLeen
unforLunaLes who noL only had no money buL dld noL know where Lo Lurn or whlLher Lo go Such
was Lhe sLaLemenL made Lo us Cur forLy were mlserable enough ln Lhe flrsL place and Lhey lay
abouL Lhe decks seaslck all Lhe voyage whlch abouL compleLed Lhelr mlsery l Lake lL Powever one
or Lwo young men remalned uprlghL and by consLanL persecuLlon we wormed ouL of Lhem some
llLLle lnformaLlon 1hey gave lL relucLanLly and ln a very fragmenLary condlLlon for havlng been
shamefully humbugged by Lhelr propheL Lhey felL humlllaLed and unhappy ln such clrcumsLances
people do noL llke Lo Lalk

1he colony was a compleLe flasco l have already sald LhaL such as could geL away dld so from Llme
Lo Llme 1he propheL Adams once an acLor Lhen several oLher Lhlngs afLerward a Mormon and a
mlsslonary always an advenLurer remalns aL !affa wlLh hls handful of sorrowful sub[ecLs 1he forLy
we broughL away wlLh us were chlefly desLlLuLe Lhough noL all of Lhem 1hey wlshed Lo geL Lo LgypL
WhaL mlghL become of Lhem Lhen Lhey dld noL know and probably dld noL care any Lhlng Lo geL
away from haLed !affa 1hey had llLLle Lo hope for 8ecause afLer many appeals Lo Lhe sympaLhles of


614


new Lngland made by sLrangers of 8osLon Lhrough Lhe newspapers and afLer Lhe esLabllshmenL of
an offlce Lhere for Lhe recepLlon of moneyed conLrlbuLlons for Lhe !affa colonlsLs Cne uollar was
subscrlbed 1he consulgeneral for LgypL showed me Lhe newspaper paragraph whlch menLloned
Lhe clrcumsLance and menLloned also Lhe dlsconLlnuance of Lhe efforL and Lhe closlng of Lhe offlce lL
was evldenL LhaL pracLlcal new Lngland was noL sorry Lo be rld of such vlslonarles and was noL ln Lhe
leasL lncllned Lo hlre any body Lo brlng Lhem back Lo her SLlll Lo geL Lo LgypL was someLhlng ln Lhe
eyes of Lhe unforLunaLe colonlsLs hopeless as Lhe prospecL seemed of ever geLLlng furLher

1hus clrcumsLanced Lhey landed aL Alexandrla from our shlp Cne of our passengers Mr Moses S
8each of Lhe new ?ork Sun lnqulred of Lhe consulgeneral whaL lL would cosL Lo send Lhese people
Lo Lhelr home ln Malne by Lhe way of Llverpool and he sald flfLeen hundred dollars ln gold would do
lL Mr 8each gave hls check for Lhe money and so Lhe Lroubles of Lhe !affa colonlsLs were aL an
end371

Alexandrla was Loo much llke a Luropean clLy Lo be novel and we soon Llred of lL We Look Lhe cars
and came up here


613


Lo anclenL Calro whlch ls an CrlenLal clLy and of Lhe compleLesL paLLern 1here ls llLLle abouL lL Lo
dlsabuse ones mlnd of Lhe error lf he should Lake lL lnLo hls head LhaL he was ln Lhe hearL of Arabla
SLaLely camels and dromedarles swarLhy LgypLlans and llkewlse 1urks and black LLhloplans
Lurbaned sashed and blazlng ln a rlch varleLy of CrlenLal cosLumes of all shades of flashy colors are
whaL one sees on every hand crowdlng Lhe narrow sLreeLs and Lhe honeycombed bazaars We are
sLopplng aL Shepherds PoLel whlch ls Lhe worsL on earLh excepL Lhe one l sLopped aL once ln a small
Lown ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes lL ls pleasanL Lo read Lhls skeLch ln my noLebook now and know LhaL l
can sLand Shepherds PoLel sure because l have been ln one [usL llke lL ln Amerlca and survlved


l sLopped aL Lhe 8enLon Pouse lL used Lo be a good hoLel buL LhaL proves noLhlng l used Lo be a
good boy for LhaL maLLer 8oLh of us have losL characLer of laLe years 1he 8enLon ls noL a good
hoLel 1he 8enLon lacks a very greaL deal of belng a good hoLel erdlLlon ls full of beLLer hoLels Lhan
Lhe 8enLon

lL was laLe aL nlghL when l goL Lhere and l Lold Lhe clerk l would llke plenLy of llghLs because l
wanLed Lo read an hour or Lwo When l reached no 13 wlLh Lhe porLer (we came along a dlm hall
LhaL was clad ln anclenL carpeLlng faded worn ouL ln many places and paLched wlLh old scraps of
oll cloLh a hall LhaL sank under ones feeL and creaked dlsmally Lo every fooLsLep) he sLruck a llghL
Lwo lnches of sallow sorrowful consumpLlve Lallow candle LhaL burned blue and spuLLered and
goL dlscouraged and wenL ouL 1he porLer llL lL agaln and l asked lf LhaL was all Lhe llghL Lhe clerk
senL Pe sald Ch no lve goL anoLher one here and he produced anoLher couple of lnches of
Lallow candle l sald LlghL Lhem boLh lll have Lo have one Lo see Lhe oLher by Pe dld lL buL Lhe
resulL was drearler Lhan darkness lLself Pe was a cheery accommodaLlng rascal Pe sald he would


616


go somewheres and sLeal a lamp l abeLLed and encouraged hlm ln hls crlmlnal deslgn l heard Lhe
landlord geL afLer hlm ln Lhe hall Len mlnuLes afLerward


Where are you golng wlLh LhaL lamp?

llfLeen wanLs lL slr

llfLeen! why hes goL a double loL of candles does Lhe man wanL Lo lllumlnaLe Lhe house?
does he wanL Lo geL up a LorchllghL processlon? whaL ls he up Lo any how?

Pe donL llke Lhem candles says he wanLs a lamp

Why whaL ln Lhe naLlon does why l never heard of such a Lhlng? WhaL on earLh can he wanL
wlLh LhaL lamp?

Well he only wanLs Lo read LhaLs whaL he says

WanLs Lo read does he? alnL saLlsfled wlLh a Lhousand candles buL has Lo have a lamp! l do
wonder whaL Lhe devll LhaL fellow wanLs LhaL lamp for? 1ake hlm anoLher candle and Lhen lf

8uL he wanLs Lhe lamp says hell burn Lhe d d old house down lf he donL geL a lamp! (a
remark whlch l never made)

ld llke Lo see hlm aL lL once Well you Lake lL along buL l swear lL beaLs my Llme Lhough and
see lf you canL flnd ouL whaL ln Lhe very naLlon he wanLs wlLh LhaL lamp

And he wenL off growllng Lo hlmself and sLlll wonderlng and wonderlng over Lhe unaccounLable
conducL of no 13 1he lamp was a good one buL lL revealed some dlsagreeable Lhlngs a bed ln Lhe
suburbs of a deserL of room a bed LhaL had hllls and valleys ln lL and youd have Lo accommodaLe
your body Lo Lhe lmpresslon lefL ln lL by Lhe man LhaL slepL Lhere lasL before you could lle
comforLably a carpeL LhaL had seen beLLer days a melancholy washsLand ln a remoLe corner and a
de[ecLed plLcher on lL sorrowlng over a broken nose a looklngglass spllL across Lhe cenLre whlch
chopped your head off aL Lhe chln and made you look llke some dreadful unflnlshed monsLer or
oLher Lhe paper peellng ln shreds from Lhe walls

l slghed and sald 1hls ls charmlng and now donL you Lhlnk you could geL me someLhlng Lo read?

1he porLer sald Ch cerLalnly Lhe old mans goL dead loads of books and he was gone before l
could Lell hlm whaL sorL of llLeraLure l would raLher have And yeL hls counLenance expressed Lhe
uLmosL confldence ln hls ablllLy Lo execuLe Lhe commlsslon wlLh credlL Lo hlmself 1he old man made
a descenL on hlm

WhaL are you golng Lo do wlLh LhaL plle of books?

llfLeen wanLs em slr

llfLeen ls lL? Pell wanL a warmlngpan nexL hell wanL a nurse! 1ake hlm every Lhlng Lhere ls ln
Lhe house Lake hlm Lhe barkeeper Lake hlm Lhe baggagewagon Lake hlm a chambermald!
Confound me l never saw any Lhlng llke lL WhaL dld he say he wanLs wlLh Lhose books?

WanLs Lo read em llke enough lL alnL llkely he wanLs Lo eaL em l donL reckon

WanLs Lo read em wanLs Lo read em Lhls Llme of nlghL Lhe lnfernal lunaLlc! Well he canL have
Lhem

8uL he says hes morly bound Lo have em he says hell [usL go aralrln and achargln Lhrough
Lhls house and ralse more well Lheres no Lellln whaL he


617


wonL do lf he donL geL em because hes drunk and crazy and desperaLe and noLhlngll sooLhe hlm
down buL Lhem cussed books l had noL made any LhreaLs and was noL ln Lhe condlLlon ascrlbed Lo
me by Lhe porLer


Well go on buL l wlll be around when he goes Lo ralrlng and charglng and Lhe flrsL ralr he makes
lll make hlm ralr ouL of Lhe wlndow And Lhen Lhe old genLleman wenL off growllng as before

1he genlus of LhaL porLer was someLhlng wonderful Pe puL an armful of books on Lhe bed and sald
Cood nlghL as confldenLly as lf he knew perfecLly well LhaL Lhose books were exacLly my sLyle of
readlng maLLer And well he mlghL Pls selecLlon covered Lhe whole range of leglLlmaLe llLeraLure lL
comprlsed 1he CreaL ConsummaLlon by 8ev ur Cummlngs Lheology 8evlsed SLaLuLes of Lhe
SLaLe of Mlssourl law 1he CompleLe PorseuocLor medlclne 1he 1ollers of Lhe Sea by
vlcLor Pugo romance 1he works of Wllllam Shakspeare poeLry l shall never cease Lo admlre
Lhe LacL and Lhe lnLelllgence of LhaL glfLed porLer

8uL all Lhe donkeys ln ChrlsLendom and mosL of Lhe LgypLlan boys l Lhlnk are aL Lhe door and
Lhere ls some nolse golng on noL Lo puL lL ln sLronger language We are abouL sLarLlng Lo Lhe
lllusLrlous yramlds of LgypL and Lhe donkeys for Lhe voyage are under lnspecLlon l wlll go and
selecL one before Lhe cholce anlmals are all Laken



371 lL was an unselflsh acL of benevolence lL was done wlLhouL any osLenLaLlon and has never
been menLloned ln any newspaper l Lhlnk 1herefore lL ls refreshlng Lo learn now several monLhs
afLer Lhe above narraLlve was wrlLLen LhaL anoLher man recelved all Lhe credlL of Lhls rescue of Lhe
colonlsLs Such ls llfe
ChapLer 38
CPA1L8 Lvlll



618



1PL donkeys were all good all handsome all sLrong and ln good condlLlon all fasL and all wllllng Lo
prove lL 1hey were Lhe besL we had found any where and Lhe mosL recherche l do noL know whaL
recherche ls buL LhaL ls whaL Lhese donkeys were anyhow Some were of a sofL mousecolor and
Lhe oLhers were whlLe black and varlcolored Some were closeshaven all over excepL LhaL a LufL
llke a palnLbrush was lefL on Lhe end of Lhe Lall CLhers were so shaven ln fanclful landscape garden
paLLerns as Lo mark Lhelr bodles wlLh curvlng llnes whlch were bounded on one slde by halr and on
Lhe oLher by Lhe close plush lefL by Lhe shears 1hey had all been newly barbered and were
exceedlngly sLyllsh Several of Lhe whlLe ones were barred llke zebras wlLh ralnbow sLrlpes of blue
and red and yellow palnL 1hese were lndescrlbably gorgeous uan and !ack selecLed from Lhls loL
because Lhey broughL back lLallan remlnlscences of Lhe old masLers 1he saddles were Lhe hlgh
sLuffy frogshaped Lhlngs we had known ln Lphesus and Smyrna 1he donkeyboys were llvely young
LgypLlan rascals who could follow a donkey and keep hlm ln a canLer half a day wlLhouL Llrlng We
had plenLy of specLaLors when we mounLed for Lhe hoLel was full of Lngllsh people bound overland
Lo lndla and offlcers geLLlng ready for Lhe Afrlcan campalgn agalnsL Lhe Abysslnlan klng 1heodorus
We were noL a very large parLy buL as we charged Lhrough Lhe sLreeLs of Lhe greaL meLropolls we
made nolse for flve hundred and dlsplayed acLlvlLy and creaLed exclLemenL ln proporLlon nobody
can sLeer a donkey and some colllded wlLh camels dervlshes


619


effendls asses beggars and every Lhlng else LhaL offered Lo Lhe donkeys a reasonable chance for a
colllslon When we Lurned lnLo Lhe broad avenue LhaL leads ouL of Lhe clLy Loward Cld Calro Lhere
was plenLy of room 1he walls of sLaLely daLepalms LhaL fenced Lhe gardens and bordered Lhe way
Lhrew Lhelr shadows down and made Lhe alr cool and braclng We rose Lo Lhe splrlL of Lhe Llme and
Lhe race became a wlld rouL a sLampede a Lerrlflc panlc l wlsh Lo llve Lo en[oy lL agaln


Somewhere along Lhls rouLe we had a few sLarLllng exhlblLlons of CrlenLal slmpllclLy A glrl
apparenLly LhlrLeen years of age came along Lhe greaL Lhoroughfare dressed llke Lve before Lhe fall
We would have called her LhlrLeen aL home buL here glrls who look LhlrLeen are ofLen noL more
Lhan nlne ln reallLy Cccaslonally we saw sLarknaked men of superb bulld baLhlng and maklng no
aLLempL aL concealmenL Powever an hours acqualnLance wlLh Lhls cheerful cusLom reconclled Lhe
pllgrlms Lo lL and Lhen lL ceased Lo occaslon remark 1hus easlly do even Lhe mosL sLarLllng novelLles
grow Lame and splrlLless Lo Lhese slghLsurfelLed wanderers

Arrlved aL Cld Calro Lhe campfollowers Look up Lhe donkeys and Lumbled Lhem bodlly aboard a
small boaL wlLh a laLeen sall and we followed and goL under way 1he deck was closely packed wlLh
donkeys and men Lhe Lwo sallors had Lo cllmb over and under and Lhrough Lhe wedged mass Lo
work Lhe salls and Lhe sLeersman had Lo crowd four or flve donkeys ouL of Lhe way when he wlshed
Lo swlng hls Llller and puL hls helm harddown 8uL whaL were Lhelr Lroubles Lo us? We had noLhlng
Lo do noLhlng Lo do buL en[oy Lhe Lrlp noLhlng Lo do buL shove Lhe donkeys off our corns and look
aL Lhe charmlng scenery of Lhe nlle

Cn Lhe lsland aL our rlghL was Lhe machlne Lhey call Lhe nllomeLer a sLonecolumn whose buslness
lL ls Lo mark Lhe rlse of Lhe rlver and prophecy wheLher lL wlll reach only LhlrLyLwo feeL and produce
a famlne or wheLher lL wlll properly flood Lhe land aL forLy and produce plenLy or wheLher lL wlll
rlse Lo forLyLhree and brlng deaLh and desLrucLlon Lo flocks and crops buL how lL does all Lhls Lhey
could noL explaln Lo us so


620


LhaL we could undersLand Cn Lhe same lsland ls sLlll shown Lhe spoL where haraohs daughLer
found Moses ln Lhe bulrushes near Lhe spoL we salled from Lhe Poly lamlly dwelL when Lhey
so[ourned ln LgypL Llll Perod should compleLe hls slaughLer of Lhe lnnocenLs 1he same Lree Lhey
resLed under when Lhey flrsL arrlved was Lhere a shorL Llme ago buL Lhe vlceroy of LgypL senL lL Lo
Lhe Lmpress Lugenle laLely Pe was [usL ln Llme oLherwlse our pllgrlms would have had lL


1he nlle aL Lhls polnL ls muddy swlfL and Lurbld and does noL lack a greaL deal of belng as wlde as
Lhe Mlsslsslppl

We scrambled up Lhe sLeep bank aL Lhe shabby Lown of Chlzeh mounLed Lhe donkeys agaln and
scampered away lor four or flve mlles Lhe rouLe lay along a hlgh embankmenL whlch Lhey say ls Lo
be Lhe bed of a rallway Lhe SulLan means Lo bulld for no oLher reason Lhan LhaL when Lhe Lmpress of
Lhe lrench comes Lo vlslL hlm she can go Lo Lhe yramlds ln comforL 1hls ls Lrue CrlenLal hosplLallLy
l am very glad lL ls our prlvllege Lo have donkeys lnsLead of cars

AL Lhe dlsLance of a few mlles Lhe yramlds rlslng above Lhe palms looked very cleancuL very
grand and lmposlng and very sofL and fllmy as well 1hey swam ln a rlch haze LhaL


621


Look from Lhem all suggesLlons of unfeellng sLone and made Lhem seem only Lhe alry noLhlngs of a
dream sLrucLures whlch mlghL blossom lnLo Llers of vague arches or ornaLe colonnades may be
and change and change agaln lnLo all graceful forms of archlLecLure whlle we looked and Lhen melL
dellclously away and blend wlLh Lhe Lremulous aLmosphere

AL Lhe end of Lhe levee we lefL Lhe mules and wenL ln a sallboaL across an arm of Lhe nlle or an
overflow and landed where Lhe sands of Lhe CreaL Sahara lefL Lhelr embankmenL as sLralghL as a
wall along Lhe verge of Lhe alluvlal plaln of Lhe rlver A laborlous walk ln Lhe flamlng sun broughL us
Lo Lhe fooL of Lhe greaL yramld of Cheops lL was a falry vlslon no longer lL was a corrugaLed
unslghLly mounLaln of sLone Lach of lLs monsLrous sldes was a wlde sLalrway whlch rose upward
sLep above sLep narrowlng as lL wenL Llll lL Lapered Lo a polnL far alofL ln Lhe alr lnsecL men and
women pllgrlms from Lhe Cuaker ClLy were creeplng abouL lLs dlzzy perches and one llLLle black
swarm were wavlng posLage sLamps from Lhe alry summlL handkerchlefs wlll be undersLood

Cf course we were besleged by a rabble of muscular LgypLlans and Arabs who wanLed Lhe conLracL
of dragglng us Lo Lhe Lop all LourlsLs are Cf course you could noL hear your own volce for Lhe dln
LhaL was around you Cf course Lhe Shelks sald Lhey were Lhe only responslble parLles LhaL all
conLracLs musL be made wlLh Lhem all moneys pald over Lo Lhem and none exacLed from us by any
buL Lhemselves alone Cf course Lhey conLracLed LhaL Lhe varleLs who dragged us up should noL
menLlon bucksheesh once lor such ls Lhe usual rouLlne Cf course we conLracLed wlLh Lhem pald
Lhem were dellvered lnLo Lhe hands of Lhe draggers dragged up Lhe yramlds and harrled and be
devlled for bucksheesh from Lhe foundaLlon clear Lo Lhe summlL We pald lL Loo for we were
purposely spread very far aparL over Lhe vasL slde of Lhe yramld 1here was no help near lf we
called and Lhe Perculeses who dragged us had a way of asklng sweeLly and flaLLerlngly for
bucksheesh whlch was seducLlve and of looklng flerce and LhreaLenlng Lo


622


Lhrow us down Lhe preclplce whlch was persuaslve and convlnclng


Lach sLep belng full as hlgh as a dlnnerLable Lhere belng very very many of Lhe sLeps an Arab
havlng hold of each of our arms and sprlnglng upward from sLep Lo sLep and snaLchlng us wlLh Lhem
forclng us Lo llfL our feeL as hlgh as our breasLs every Llme and do lL rapldly and keep lL up Llll we
were ready Lo falnL who shall say lL ls noL llvely exhllaraLlng laceraLlng musclesLralnlng bone
wrenchlng and perfecLly excruclaLlng and exhausLlng pasLlme cllmblng Lhe yramlds? l beseeched
Lhe varleLs noL Lo LwlsL all my [olnLs asunder l lLeraLed relLeraLed even swore Lo Lhem LhaL l dld noL
wlsh Lo beaL any body Lo Lhe Lop dld all l could Lo convlnce Lhem LhaL lf l goL Lhere Lhe lasL of all l
would feel blessed above men and graLeful Lo Lhem forever l begged Lhem prayed Lhem pleaded
wlLh Lhem Lo leL me sLop and resL a momenL only one llLLle momenL and Lhey only answered wlLh
some more frlghLful sprlngs and an unenllsLed volunLeer behlnd opened a bombardmenL of
deLermlned boosLs


623


wlLh hls head whlch LhreaLened Lo baLLer my whole pollLlcal economy Lo wreck and ruln


1wlce for one mlnuLe Lhey leL me resL whlle Lhey exLorLed bucksheesh and Lhen conLlnued Lhelr
manlac fllghL up Lhe yramld 1hey wlshed Lo beaL Lhe oLher parLles lL was noLhlng Lo Lhem LhaL l a
sLranger musL be sacrlflced upon Lhe alLar of Lhelr unholy amblLlon 8uL ln Lhe mldsL of sorrow [oy
blooms Lven ln Lhls dark hour l had a sweeL consolaLlon lor l knew LhaL excepL Lhese
Mohammedans repenLed Lhey would go sLralghL Lo perdlLlon some day And Lhey never repenL
Lhey never forsake Lhelr paganlsm 1hls LhoughL calmed me cheered me and l sank down llmp and
exhausLed upon Lhe summlL buL happy so happy and serene wlLhln

Cn Lhe one hand a mlghLy sea of yellow sand sLreLched away Loward Lhe ends of Lhe earLh
solemn sllenL shorn of vegeLaLlon lLs sollLude uncheered by any forms of creaLure llfe on Lhe
oLher Lhe Lden of LgypL was spread below us a broad green floor cloven by Lhe slnuous rlver
doLLed wlLh vlllages lLs vasL dlsLances measured and marked by Lhe dlmlnlshlng sLaLure of recedlng
clusLers of palms lL lay asleep ln an enchanLed aLmosphere 1here was no sound no moLlon Above
Lhe daLeplumes ln Lhe mlddle dlsLance swelled a domed and plnnacled mass gllmmerlng Lhrough a
LlnLed exqulslLe mlsL away Loward Lhe horlzon a dozen shapely pyramlds waLched over rulned
Memphls and aL our feeL Lhe bland lmpasslble Sphynx looked ouL upon Lhe plcLure from her Lhrone
ln Lhe sands as placldly and penslvely as she had looked upon lLs llke full flfLy lagglng cenLurles ago

We suffered LorLure no pen can descrlbe from Lhe hungry appeals for bucksheesh LhaL gleamed
from Arab eyes and poured lncessanLly from Arab llps Why Lry Lo call up Lhe LradlLlons of vanlshed
LgypLlan grandeur why Lry Lo fancy LgypL followlng dead 8ameses Lo hls Lomb ln Lhe yramld or Lhe
long mulLlLude of lsrael deparLlng over Lhe deserL yonder? Why Lry Lo Lhlnk aL all? 1he Lhlng was
lmposslble Cne musL brlng hls medlLaLlons cuL and drled or else cuL and dry Lhem afLerward


624



1he LradlLlonal Arab proposed ln Lhe LradlLlonal way Lo run down Cheops cross Lhe elghLh of a
mlle of sand lnLervenlng beLween lL and Lhe Lall pyramld of Cephron ascend Lo Cephrons summlL
and reLurn Lo us on Lhe Lop of Cheops all ln nlne mlnuLes by Lhe waLch and Lhe whole servlce Lo
be rendered for a slngle dollar ln Lhe flrsL flush of lrrlLaLlon l sald leL Lhe Arab and hls explolLs go Lo
Lhe mlschlef 8uL sLay 1he upper Lhlrd of Cephron was coaLed wlLh dressed marble smooLh as glass
A blessed LhoughL enLered my braln Pe musL lnfalllbly break hls neck Close Lhe conLracL wlLh
dlspaLch l sald and leL hlm go Pe sLarLed We waLched Pe wenL boundlng down Lhe vasL
broadslde sprlng afLer sprlng llke an lbex Pe grew small and smaller Llll he became a bobblng
plgmy away down Loward Lhe boLLom Lhen dlsappeared We Lurned and peered over Lhe oLher
slde forLy seconds elghLy seconds a hundred happlness he ls dead already! Lwo mlnuLes
and a quarLer 1here he goes! 1oo Lrue lL was Loo Lrue Pe was very small now Cradually buL
surely he overcame Lhe level ground Pe began Lo sprlng and cllmb agaln up up up aL lasL he
reached Lhe smooLh coaLlng now for lL 8uL he clung Lo lL wlLh Loes and flngers llke a fly Pe
crawled Lhls way and LhaL away Lo Lhe rlghL slanLlng upward away Lo Lhe lefL sLlll slanLlng
upward and sLood aL lasL a black peg on Lhe summlL and waved hls plgmy scarf! 1hen he crepL
downward Lo Lhe raw sLeps agaln Lhen plcked up hls aglle heels and flew We losL hlm presenLly 8uL
presenLly agaln we saw hlm under us mounLlng wlLh undlmlnlshed energy ShorLly he bounded lnLo
our mldsL wlLh a gallanL warwhoop 1lme elghL mlnuLes forLyone seconds Pe had won Pls bones
were lnLacL lL was a fallure l reflecLed l sald Lo myself he ls Llred and musL grow dlzzy l wlll rlsk
anoLher dollar on hlm

Pe sLarLed agaln Made Lhe Lrlp agaln Sllpped on Lhe smooLh coaLlng l almosL had hlm 8uL an
lnfamous crevlce saved hlm Pe was wlLh us once more perfecLly sound 1lme elghL mlnuLes
forLyslx seconds


623




l sald Lo uan Lend me a dollar l can beaL Lhls game yeL

Worse and worse Pe won agaln 1lme elghL mlnuLes forLyelghL seconds l was ouL of all
paLlence now l was desperaLe Money was no longer of any consequence l sald Slrrah l wlll
glve you a hundred dollars Lo [ump off Lhls pyramld head flrsL lf you do noL llke Lhe Lerms name
your beL l scorn Lo sLand on expenses now l wlll sLay rlghL here and rlsk money on you as long as
uan has goL a cenL

l was ln a falr way Lo wln now for lL was a dazzllng opporLunlLy for an Arab Pe pondered a
momenL and would have done lL l Lhlnk buL hls moLher arrlved Lhen and lnLerfered Per Lears
moved me l never can look upon Lhe Lears of woman wlLh lndlfference and l sald l would glve
her a hundred Lo [ump off Loo

8uL lL was a fallure 1he Arabs are Loo hlghprlced ln LgypL 1hey puL on alrs unbecomlng Lo such
savages


626



We descended hoL and ouL of humor 1he dragoman llL candles and we all enLered a hole near
Lhe base of Lhe pyramld aLLended by a crazy rabble of Arabs who LhrusL Lhelr servlces upon us
unlnvlLed 1hey dragged us up a long lncllned chuLe and drlpped candlegrease all over us 1hls
chuLe was noL more Lhan Lwlce as wlde and hlgh as a SaraLoga Lrunk and was walled roofed and
floored wlLh solld blocks of LgypLlan granlLe as wlde as a wardrobe Lwlce as Lhlck and Lhree Llmes as
long We kepL on cllmblng Lhrough Lhe oppresslve gloom Llll l LhoughL we oughL Lo be nearlng Lhe
Lop of Lhe pyramld agaln and Lhen came Lo Lhe Cueens Chamber and shorLly Lo Lhe Chamber of
Lhe klng 1hese large aparLmenLs were Lombs 1he walls were bullL of monsLrous masses of
smooLhed granlLe neaLly [olned LogeLher Some of Lhem were nearly as large square as an ordlnary
parlor A greaL sLone sarcophagus llke a baLhLub sLood ln Lhe cenLre of Lhe klngs Chamber Around
lL were gaLhered a plcLuresque group of Arab savages and solled and LaLLered pllgrlms who held
Lhelr candles alofL ln Lhe gloom whlle Lhey chaLLered and Lhe wlnklng blurs of llghL shed a dlm glory
down upon one of Lhe lrrepresslble memenLoseekers who was pecklng aL Lhe venerable
sarcophagus wlLh hls sacrlleglous hammer

We sLruggled ouL Lo Lhe open alr and Lhe brlghL sunshlne and for Lhe space of LhlrLy mlnuLes
recelved ragged Arabs by couples dozens and plaLoons and pald Lhem bucksheesh for servlces Lhey
swore and proved by each oLher LhaL Lhey had rendered buL whlch we had noL been aware of
before and as each parLy was pald Lhey dropped lnLo Lhe rear of Lhe processlon and ln due Llme
arrlved agaln wlLh a newlylnvenLed dellnquenL llsL for llquldaLlon

We lunched ln Lhe shade of Lhe pyramld and ln Lhe mldsL of Lhls encroachlng and unwelcome
company and Lhen uan and !ack and l sLarLed away for a walk A howllng swarm of beggars followed
us surrounded us almosL headed us off A shelk ln flowlng whlLe bournous and gaudy headgear
was wlLh Lhem Pe wanLed more bucksheesh 8uL we had adopLed a new code lL was mllllons for
defense buL noL a cenL for


627


bucksheesh l asked hlm lf he could persuade Lhe oLhers Lo deparL lf we pald hlm Pe sald yes for
Len francs We accepLed Lhe conLracL and sald


now persuade your vassals Lo fall back

Pe swung hls long sLaff round hls head and Lhree Arabs blL Lhe dusL Pe capered among Lhe mob
llke a very manlac Pls blows fell llke hall and wherever one fell a sub[ecL wenL down We had Lo
hurry Lo Lhe rescue and Lell hlm lL was only necessary Lo damage Lhem a llLLle he need noL klll Lhem
ln Lwo mlnuLes we were alone wlLh Lhe shelk and remalned so 1he persuaslve powers of Lhls
llllLeraLe savage were remarkable

Lach slde of Lhe yramld of Cheops ls abouL as long as Lhe CaplLol aL WashlngLon or Lhe SulLans
new palace on Lhe 8osporus and ls longer Lhan Lhe greaLesL depLh of SL eLers aL 8ome whlch ls
Lo say LhaL each slde of Cheops exLends seven hundred and some odd feeL lL ls abouL sevenLyflve
feeL hlgher Lhan Lhe cross on SL eLers 1he flrsL Llme l ever wenL down Lhe Mlsslsslppl l LhoughL
Lhe hlghesL bluff on Lhe rlver beLween SL Louls and new Crleans lL was near Selma Mlssourl
was probably Lhe hlghesL mounLaln ln Lhe world lL ls four hundred and LhlrLeen feeL hlgh lL sLlll
looms ln my memory wlLh undlmlnlshed grandeur l can sLlll see Lhe Lrees and bushes growlng
smaller and smaller as l followed Lhem up lLs huge slanL wlLh my eye Llll Lhey became a feaLhery
frlnge on Lhe dlsLanL summlL 1hls symmeLrlcal yramld of Cheops


628


Lhls solld mounLaln of sLone reared by Lhe paLlenL hands of men Lhls mlghLy Lomb of a forgoLLen
monarch dwarfs my cherlshed mounLaln lor lL ls four hundred and elghLy feeL hlgh ln sLlll earller
years Lhan Lhose l have been recalllng Pollldays Plll ln our Lown was Lo me Lhe noblesL work of
Cod lL appeared Lo plerce Lhe skles lL was nearly Lhree hundred feeL hlgh ln Lhose days l pondered
Lhe sub[ecL much buL l never could undersLand why lL dld noL swaLhe lLs summlL wlLh neverfalllng
clouds and crown lLs ma[esLlc brow wlLh everlasLlng snows l had heard LhaL such was Lhe cusLom of
greaL mounLalns ln oLher parLs of Lhe world l remembered how l worked wlLh anoLher boy aL odd
afLernoons sLolen from sLudy and pald for wlLh sLrlpes Lo undermlne and sLarL from lLs bed an
lmmense boulder LhaL resLed upon Lhe edge of LhaL hlllLop l remembered how one SaLurday
afLernoon we gave Lhree hours of honesL efforL Lo Lhe Lask and saw aL lasL LhaL our reward was aL
hand l remembered how we saL down Lhen and wlped Lhe persplraLlon away and walLed Lo leL a
plcnlc parLy geL ouL of Lhe way ln Lhe road below and Lhen we sLarLed Lhe boulder lL was splendld
lL wenL crashlng down Lhe hlllslde Learlng up sapllngs mowlng bushes down llke grass rlpplng and
crushlng and smashlng every Lhlng ln lLs paLh eLernally spllnLered and scaLLered a wood plle aL Lhe
fooL of Lhe hlll and Lhen sprang from Lhe hlgh bank clear over a dray ln Lhe road Lhe negro glanced
up once and dodged and Lhe nexL second lL made lnflnlLeslmal mlncemeaL of a frame cooper
shop and Lhe coopers swarmed ouL llke bees 1hen we sald lL was perfecLly magnlflcenL and lefL
8ecause Lhe coopers were sLarLlng up Lhe hlll Lo lnqulre

SLlll LhaL mounLaln prodlglous as lL was was noLhlng Lo Lhe yramld of Cheops l could con[ure up
no comparlson LhaL would convey Lo my mlnd a saLlsfacLory comprehenslon of Lhe magnlLude of a
plle of monsLrous sLones LhaL covered LhlrLeen acres of ground and sLreLched upward four hundred
and elghLy Llresome feeL and so l gave lL up and walked down Lo Lhe Sphynx

AfLer years of walLlng lL was before me aL lasL 1he greaL


629


face was so sad so earnesL so longlng so paLlenL 1here was a dlgnlLy noL of earLh ln lLs mlen and
ln lLs counLenance a benlgnlLy such as never any Lhlng human wore lL was sLone buL lL seemed
senLlenL lf ever lmage of sLone LhoughL lL was Lhlnklng lL was looklng Loward Lhe verge of Lhe
landscape yeL looklng aL noLhlng noLhlng buL dlsLance and vacancy lL was looklng over and
beyond every Lhlng of Lhe presenL and far lnLo Lhe pasL lL was gazlng ouL over Lhe ocean of 1lme
over llnes of cenLurywaves whlch furLher and furLher recedlng closed nearer and nearer LogeLher
and blended aL lasL lnLo one unbroken Llde away Loward Lhe horlzon of remoLe anLlqulLy lL was
Lhlnklng of Lhe wars of deparLed ages of Lhe emplres lL had seen creaLed and desLroyed of Lhe
naLlons whose blrLh lL had wlLnessed whose progress lL had waLched whose annlhllaLlon lL had
noLed of Lhe [oy and sorrow Lhe llfe and deaLh Lhe grandeur and decay of flve Lhousand slow
revolvlng years lL was Lhe Lype of an aLLrlbuLe of man of a faculLy of hls hearL and braln lL was
MLMC8? 8L18CSLC1lCn wroughL lnLo vlslble Langlble form All who know whaL paLhos Lhere
ls ln memorles of days LhaL are accompllshed and faces LhaL have vanlshed albelL only a Lrlfllng
score of years gone by wlll have some appreclaLlon of Lhe paLhos LhaL dwells ln Lhese grave eyes
LhaL look so sLeadfasLly back upon Lhe Lhlngs Lhey knew before PlsLory was born before 1radlLlon
had belng Lhlngs LhaL were and forms LhaL moved ln a vague era whlch even oeLry and 8omance
scarce know of and passed one by one away and lefL Lhe sLony dreamer sollLary ln Lhe mldsL of a
sLrange new age and uncomprehended scenes


1he Sphynx ls grand ln lLs lonellness lL ls lmposlng ln lLs magnlLude lL ls lmpresslve ln Lhe mysLery
LhaL hangs over lLs sLory And Lhere ls LhaL ln Lhe overshadowlng ma[esLy of Lhls eLernal flgure of
sLone wlLh lLs accuslng memory of Lhe deeds of all ages whlch reveals Lo one someLhlng of whaL he
shall feel when he shall sLand aL lasL ln Lhe awful presence of Cod

1here are some Lhlngs whlch for Lhe credlL of Amerlca should be lefL unsald perhaps buL Lhese
very Lhlngs happen someLlmes Lo be Lhe very Lhlngs whlch for Lhe real beneflL of


630


Amerlcans oughL Lo have promlnenL noLlce Whlle we sLood looklng a warL or an excrescence of
some klnd appeared on Lhe [aw of Lhe Sphynx We heard Lhe famlllar cllnk of a hammer and
undersLood Lhe case aL once Cne of our well meanlng repLlles l mean rellchunLers had crawled
up Lhere and was Lrylng Lo break a speclmen from Lhe face of Lhls Lhe mosL ma[esLlc creaLlon Lhe
hand of man has wroughL 8uL Lhe greaL lmage conLemplaLed Lhe dead ages as calmly as ever
unconsclous of Lhe small lnsecL LhaL was freLLlng aL lLs [aw LgypLlan granlLe LhaL has defled Lhe
sLorms and earLhquakes of all Llme has noLhlng Lo fear from Lhe Lackhammers of lgnoranL
excurslonlsLs hlghwaymen llke Lhls speclmen Pe falled ln hls enLerprlse We senL a shelk Lo arresL
hlm lf he had Lhe auLhorlLy or Lo warn hlm lf he had noL LhaL by Lhe laws of LgypL Lhe crlme he was
aLLempLlng Lo commlL was punlshable wlLh lmprlsonmenL or Lhe basLlnado 1hen he deslsLed and
wenL away


1he Sphynx a hundred and LwenLyflve feeL long slxLy feeL hlgh and a hundred and Lwo feeL
around Lhe head lf l remember rlghLly carved ouL of one solld block of sLone harder Lhan any lron
1he block musL have been as large as Lhe llfLh Avenue PoLel before Lhe usual wasLe (by Lhe
necesslLles of sculpLure) of a fourLh or a half of Lhe orlglnal mass was begun l only seL


631


down Lhese flgures and Lhese remarks Lo suggesL Lhe prodlglous labor Lhe carvlng of lL so eleganLly
so symmeLrlcally so faulLlessly musL have cosL 1hls specles of sLone ls so hard LhaL flgures cuL ln lL
remaln sharp and unmarred afLer exposure Lo Lhe weaLher for Lwo or Lhree Lhousand years now dld
lL Lake a hundred years of paLlenL Loll Lo carve Lhe Sphynx? lL seems probable

SomeLhlng lnLerfered and we dld noL vlslL Lhe 8ed Sea and walk upon Lhe sands of Arabla l shall
noL descrlbe Lhe greaL mosque of MehemeL All whose enLlre lnner walls are bullL of pollshed and
gllsLenlng alabasLer l shall noL Lell how Lhe llLLle blrds have bullL Lhelr nesLs ln Lhe globes of Lhe greaL
chandellers LhaL hang ln Lhe mosque and how Lhey flll Lhe whole place wlLh Lhelr muslc and are noL
afrald of any body because Lhelr audaclLy ls pardoned Lhelr rlghLs are respecLed and nobody ls
allowed Lo lnLerfere wlLh Lhem even Lhough Lhe mosque be Lhus doomed Lo go unllghLed l cerLalnly
shall noL Lell Lhe hackneyed sLory of Lhe massacre of Lhe Mamelukes because l am glad Lhe lawless
rascals were massacred and l do noL wlsh Lo geL up any sympaLhy ln Lhelr behalf l shall noL Lell how
LhaL one sollLary Mameluke [umped hls horse a hundred feeL down from Lhe baLLlemenLs of Lhe
clLadel and escaped because l do noL Lhlnk much of LhaL l could have done lL myself l shall noL Lell
of !osephs well whlch he dug ln Lhe solld rock of Lhe clLadel hlll and whlch ls sLlll as good as new nor
how Lhe


632


same mules he boughL Lo draw up Lhe waLer (wlLh an endless chaln) are sLlll aL lL yeL and are geLLlng
Llred of lL Loo l shall noL Lell abouL !osephs granarles whlch he bullL Lo sLore Lhe graln ln whaL Llme
Lhe LgypLlan brokers were selllng shorL unwlLLlng LhaL Lhere would be no corn ln all Lhe land when
lL should be Llme for Lhem Lo dellver l shall noL Lell any Lhlng abouL Lhe sLrange sLrange clLy of Calro
because lL ls only a repeLlLlon a good deal lnLenslfled and exaggeraLed of Lhe CrlenLal clLles l have
already spoken of l shall noL Lell of Lhe CreaL Caravan whlch leaves for Mecca every year for l dld
noL see lL nor of Lhe fashlon Lhe people have of prosLraLlng Lhemselves and so formlng a long
human pavemenL Lo be rldden over by Lhe chlef of Lhe expedlLlon on lLs reLurn Lo Lhe end LhaL Lhelr
salvaLlon may be Lhus secured for l dld noL see LhaL elLher l shall noL speak of Lhe rallway for lL ls
llke any oLher rallway l shall only say LhaL Lhe fuel Lhey use for Lhe locomoLlve ls composed of
mummles Lhree Lhousand years old purchased by Lhe Lon or by Lhe graveyard for LhaL purpose and
LhaL someLlmes one hears Lhe profane englneer call ouL peLLlshly u n Lhese plebelans Lhey donL
burn worLh a cenL pass ouL a klng381 l shall noL Lell of Lhe groups of mud cones sLuck llke wasps
nesLs upon a Lhousand mounds above hlgh waLermark Lhe lengLh and breadLh of LgypL vlllages of
Lhe lower classes l shall noL speak of Lhe boundless sweep of level plaln green wlLh luxurlanL graln
LhaL gladdens Lhe eye as far as lL can plerce Lhrough Lhe sofL rlch aLmosphere of LgypL l shall noL
speak of Lhe vlslon of Lhe yramlds seen aL a dlsLance of flve and LwenLy mlles for Lhe plcLure ls Loo
eLhereal Lo be llmned by an unlnsplred pen l shall noL Lell of Lhe crowds of dusky women who
flocked Lo Lhe cars when Lhey sLopped a momenL aL a sLaLlon Lo sell us a drlnk of waLer or a ruddy
[ulcy pomegranaLe l shall noL Lell of Lhe moLley mulLlLudes and wlld cosLumes LhaL graced a falr we
found ln full blasL aL anoLher barbarous sLaLlon l shall noL Lell how we feasLed on fresh daLes and
en[oyed Lhe pleasanL landscape all Lhrough Lhe


633


flylng [ourney nor how we Lhundered lnLo Alexandrla aL lasL swarmed ouL of Lhe cars rowed
aboard Lhe shlp lefL a comrade behlnd (who was Lo reLurn Lo Lurope Lhence home) ralsed Lhe
anchor and Lurned our bows homeward flnally and forever from Lhe long voyage nor how as Lhe
mellow sun wenL down upon Lhe oldesL land on earLh !ack and MoulL assembled ln solemn sLaLe ln
Lhe smoklngroom and mourned over Lhe losL comrade Lhe whole nlghL long and would noL be
comforLed l shall noL speak a word of any of Lhese Lhlngs or wrlLe a llne 1hey shall be as a sealed
book l do noL know whaL a sealed book ls because l never saw one buL a sealed book ls Lhe
expresslon Lo use ln Lhls connecLlon because lL ls popular


We were glad Lo have seen Lhe land whlch was Lhe moLher of clvlllzaLlon whlch LaughL Creece
her leLLers and Lhrough Creece 8ome and Lhrough 8ome Lhe world Lhe land whlch could have
humanlzed and clvlllzed Lhe hapless chlldren of lsrael buL allowed Lhem Lo deparL ouL of her borders
llLLle beLLer Lhan savages We were glad Lo have seen LhaL land whlch had an enllghLened rellglon
wlLh fuLure eLernal rewards and punlshmenL ln lL whlle even lsraels rellglon conLalned no promlse
of a hereafLer We were glad Lo have seen LhaL land whlch had glass Lhree Lhousand years before
Lngland had lL and could palnL upon lL as none of us can palnL now LhaL land whlch knew Lhree
Lhousand years ago well nlgh all of medlclne and surgery whlch sclence has dlscovered laLely whlch
had all Lhose curlous surglcal lnsLrumenLs whlch sclence has lnvenLed


634


recenLly whlch had ln hlgh excellence a Lhousand luxurles and necesslLles of an advanced
clvlllzaLlon whlch we have gradually conLrlved and accumulaLed ln modern Llmes and clalmed as
Lhlngs LhaL were new under Lhe sun LhaL had paper unLold cenLurles before we dreampL of lL and
waLerfalls before our women LhoughL of Lhem LhaL had a perfecL sysLem of common schools so long
before we boasLed of our achlevemenLs ln LhaL dlrecLlon LhaL lL seems forever and forever ago LhaL
so embalmed Lhe dead LhaL flesh was made almosL lmmorLal whlch we can noL do LhaL bullL
Lemples whlch mock aL desLroylng Llme and smlle grlmly upon our lauded llLLle prodlgles of
archlLecLure LhaL old land LhaL knew all whlch we know now perchance and more LhaL walked ln
Lhe broad hlghway of clvlllzaLlon ln Lhe gray dawn of creaLlon ages and ages before we were born
LhaL lefL Lhe lmpress of exalLed culLlvaLed Mlnd upon Lhe eLernal fronL of Lhe Sphynx Lo confound all
scoffers who when all her oLher proofs had passed away mlghL seek Lo persuade Lhe world LhaL
lmperlal LgypL ln Lhe days of her hlgh renown had groped ln darkness




381 SLaLed Lo me for a facL l only Lell lL as l goL lL l am wllllng Lo belleve lL l can belleve any Lhlng
ChapLer 39
CPA1L8 Llx



633



WL were aL sea now for a very long voyage we were Lo pass Lhrough Lhe enLlre lengLh of Lhe
LevanL Lhrough Lhe enLlre lengLh of Lhe MedlLerranean proper also and Lhen cross Lhe full wldLh of
Lhe ALlanLlc a voyage of several weeks We naLurally seLLled down lnLo a very slow sLayaLhome
manner of llfe and resolved Lo be quleL exemplary people and roam no more for LwenLy or LhlrLy
days no more aL leasL Lhan from sLem Lo sLern of Lhe shlp lL was a very comforLable prospecL
Lhough for we were Llred and needed a long resL


636



We were all lazy and saLlsfled now as Lhe meager enLrles ln my noLebook (LhaL sure lndex Lo me
of my condlLlon) prove WhaL a sLupld Lhlng a noLebook geLs Lo be aL sea any way lease observe
Lhe sLyle


Sunday Servlces as usual aL four bells Servlces aL nlghL also no cards

Monday 8eauLlful day buL ralned hard 1he caLLle purchased aL Alexandrla for beef oughL Lo be
shlngled Cr else faLLened 1he waLer sLands ln deep puddles ln Lhe depresslons forward of Lhelr
afLer shoulders Also here and Lhere all over Lhelr backs lL ls well Lhey are noL cows lL would soak
ln and ruln Lhe mllk 1he poor devll eagle391 from Syrla looks mlserable and droopy ln Lhe raln
perched on Lhe forward capsLan Pe appears Lo have hls own oplnlon of a sea voyage and lf lL were
puL lnLo language and Lhe language solldlfled lL would probably essenLlally dam Lhe wldesL rlver ln
Lhe world

1uesday Somewhere ln Lhe nelghborhood of Lhe lsland of MalLa Can noL sLop Lhere Cholera
WeaLher very sLormy Many passengers seaslck and lnvlslble

Wednesday WeaLher sLlll very savage SLorm blew Lwo land blrds Lo sea and Lhey came on board
A hawk was blown off also Pe clrcled round and round Lhe shlp wanLlng Lo llghL buL afrald of Lhe
people Pe was so Llred Lhough LhaL he had Lo llghL aL lasL or perlsh Pe sLopped ln Lhe foreLop
repeaLedly and was as ofLen blown away by Lhe wlnd AL lasL Parry caughL hlm Sea full of flylng
flsh 1hey rlse ln flocks of Lhree hundred and flash along above Lhe Lops of Lhe waves a dlsLance of
Lwo or Lhree hundred feeL Lhen fall and dlsappear

1hursday Anchored off Alglers Afrlca 8eauLlful clLy beauLlful green hllly landscape behlnd lL
SLald half a day and lefL noL permlLLed Lo land Lhough we showed a clean blll of healLh 1hey were
afrald of LgypLlan plague and cholera

lrlday Mornlng domlnoes AfLernoon domlnoes Lvenlng promenadlng Lhe deck AfLerwards
charades

SaLurday Mornlng domlnoes AfLernoon domlnoes Lvenlng promenadlng Lhe decks
AfLerwards domlnoes

Sunday Mornlng servlce four bells Lvenlng servlce elghL bells MonoLony Llll mldnlghL
Whereupon domlnoes

Monday Mornlng domlnoes AfLernoon domlnoes Lvenlng promenadlng Lhe decks AfLerward
charades and a lecLure from ur C uomlnoes

no daLe Anchored off Lhe plcLuresque clLy of Cagllarl Sardlnla SLald Llll mldnlghL buL noL
permlLLed Lo land by Lhese lnfamous forelgners 1hey smell lnodorously Lhey do noL wash Lhey
dare noL rlsk cholera

1hursday Anchored off Lhe beauLlful caLhedral clLy of Malaga Spaln WenL ashore ln Lhe
capLalns boaL noL ashore elLher for Lhey would noL leL us land CuaranLlne Shlpped my
newspaper correspondence whlch Lhey Look wlLh Longs dlpped lL ln sea waLer cllpped lL full of
holes and Lhen fumlgaLed lL wlLh vlllalnous vapors Llll lL smelL llke a Spanlard lnqulred abouL
chances Lo run Lo blockade and vlslL Lhe Alhambra aL Cranada 1oo rlsky Lhey mlghL hang a body
SeL sall mlddle of afLernoon



637



And so on and so on and so forLh for several days llnally anchored off ClbralLar whlch looks
famlllar and homellke


lL remlnds me of Lhe [ournal l opened wlLh Lhe new ?ear once when l was a boy and a confldlng
and a wllllng prey Lo Lhose lmposslble schemes of reform whlch wellmeanlng old malds and
grandmoLhers seL for Lhe feeL of unwary youLhs aL LhaL season of Lhe year seLLlng overslzed Lasks
for Lhem whlch necessarlly falllng as lnfalllbly weaken Lhe boys sLrengLh of wlll dlmlnlsh hls
confldence ln hlmself and ln[ure hls chances of success ln llfe lease accepL of an exLracL


Monday CoL up washed wenL Lo bed
1uesday CoL up washed wenL Lo bed
Wednesday CoL up washed wenL Lo bed
1hursday CoL up washed wenL Lo bed
lrlday CoL up washed wenL Lo bed
nexL lrlday CoL up washed wenL Lo bed
lrlday forLnlghL CoL up washed wenL Lo bed
lollowlng monLh CoL up washed wenL Lo bed

l sLopped Lhen dlscouraged SLarLllng evenLs appeared Lo be Loo rare ln my career Lo render a
dlary necessary l sLlll reflecL wlLh prlde however LhaL even aL LhaL early age l washed when l goL up
1haL [ournal flnlshed me l never have had Lhe nerve Lo keep one slnce My loss of confldence ln
myself ln LhaL llne was permanenL

1he shlp had Lo sLay a week or more aL ClbralLar Lo Lake ln coal for Lhe home voyage

lL would be very Llresome sLaylng here and so four of us ran Lhe quaranLlne blockade and spenL
seven dellghLful days ln Sevllle Cordova Cadlz and wanderlng Lhrough Lhe pleasanL rural scenery of
Andalusla Lhe garden of Cld Spaln 1he experlences of LhaL cheery week were Loo varled and
numerous for a shorL chapLer and l have noL room for a long one 1herefore l shall leave Lhem all
ouL



391 AfLerwards presenLed Lo Lhe CenLral ark
ChapLer 60
CPA1L8 Lx



638



1Ln or eleven oclock found us comlng down Lo breakfasL one mornlng ln Cadlz 1hey Lold us Lhe
shlp had been lylng aL anchor ln Lhe harbor Lwo or Lhree hours lL was Llme for us Lo besLlr ourselves
1he shlp could walL only a llLLle whlle because of Lhe quaranLlne We were soon on board and wlLhln
Lhe hour Lhe whlLe clLy and Lhe pleasanL shores of Spaln sank down behlnd Lhe waves and passed
ouL of slghL We had seen no land fade from vlew so regreLfully

lL had long ago been declded ln a nolsy publlc meeLlng ln Lhe maln cabln LhaL we could noL go Lo
Llsbon because we musL surely be quaranLlned Lhere We dld every Lhlng by massmeeLlng ln Lhe
good old naLlonal way from swapplng off one emplre for anoLher on Lhe programme of Lhe voyage
down Lo complalnlng of Lhe cookery and Lhe scarclLy of napklns l am remlnded now of one of Lhese
complalnLs of Lhe cookery made by a passenger 1he coffee had been sLeadlly growlng more and
more execrable for Lhe space of Lhree weeks Llll aL lasL lL had ceased Lo be coffee alLogeLher and had
assumed Lhe naLure of mere dlscolored waLer so Lhls person sald Pe sald lL was so weak LhaL lL
was LransparenL an lnch ln depLh around Lhe edge of Lhe cup As he approached Lhe Lable one
mornlng he saw Lhe LransparenL edge by means of hls exLraordlnary vlslon long before he goL Lo
hls seaL Pe wenL back and complalned ln a hlghhanded way Lo CapL uuncan Pe sald Lhe coffee
was dlsgraceful 1he CapLaln showed hls lL seemed Lolerably good 1he lnclplenL muLlneer was more
ouLraged Lhan ever Lhen aL whaL he denounced as Lhe parLlallLy shown


639


Lhe capLalns Lable over Lhe oLher Lables ln Lhe shlp Pe flourlshed back and goL hls cup and seL lL
down LrlumphanLly and sald


!usL Lry LhaL mlxLure once CapLaln uuncan

Pe smelL lL LasLed lL smlled benlgnanLly Lhen sald

lL ls lnferlor for coffee buL lL ls preLLy falr Lea

1he humbled muLlneer smelL lL LasLed lL and reLurned Lo hls seaL Pe had made an egreglous ass
of hlmself before Lhe whole shlp Pe dld lL no more AfLer LhaL he Look Lhlngs as Lhey came 1haL was
me

1he oldfashloned shlpllfe had reLurned now LhaL we were no longer ln slghL of land lor days and
days lL conLlnued [usL Lhe same one day belng exacLly llke anoLher and Lo me every one of Lhem
pleasanL AL lasL we anchored ln Lhe open roadsLead of lunchal ln Lhe beauLlful lslands we call Lhe
Madelras

1he mounLalns looked surpasslngly lovely clad as Lhey were ln llvlng green rlbbed wlLh lava
rldges flecked wlLh whlLe coLLages rlven by deep chasms purple wlLh shade Lhe greaL slopes
dashed wlLh sunshlne and moLLled wlLh shadows flung from Lhe drlfLlng squadrons of Lhe sky and
Lhe superb plcLure flLly crowned by Lowerlng peaks whose fronLs were swepL by Lhe Lralllng frlnges
of Lhe clouds

8uL we could noL land We sLald all day and looked we abused Lhe man who lnvenLed quaranLlne
we held half a dozen massmeeLlngs and crammed Lhem full of lnLerrupLed speeches


640


moLlons LhaL fell sLlllborn amendmenLs LhaL came Lo noughL and resoluLlons LhaL dled from sheer
exhausLlon ln Lrylng Lo geL before Lhe house AL nlghL we seL sall

We averaged four massmeeLlngs a week for Lhe voyage we seemed always ln labor ln Lhls way
and yeL so ofLen fallaclously LhaL whenever aL long lnLervals we were safely dellvered of a resoluLlon
lL was cause for publlc re[olclng and we holsLed Lhe flag and flred a saluLe

uays passed and nlghLs and Lhen Lhe beauLlful 8ermudas rose ouL of Lhe sea we enLered Lhe
LorLuous channel sLeamed hlLher and LhlLher among Lhe brlghL summer lslands and resLed aL lasL
under Lhe flag of Lngland and were welcome We were noL a nlghLmare here where were
clvlllzaLlon and lnLelllgence ln place of Spanlsh and lLallan supersLlLlon dlrL and dread of cholera A
few days among Lhe breezy groves Lhe flower gardens


641


Lhe coral caves and Lhe lovely vlsLas of blue waLer LhaL wenL curvlng ln and ouL dlsappearlng and
anon agaln appearlng Lhrough [ungle walls of brllllanL follage resLored Lhe energles dulled by long
drowslng on Lhe ocean and flLLed us for our flnal crulse our llLLle run of a Lhousand mlles Lo new
?ork Amerlca PCML


We bade goodbye Lo our frlends Lhe 8ermudlans as our programme haLh lL Lhe ma[orlLy of
Lhose we were mosL lnLlmaLe wlLh were negroes and courLed Lhe greaL deep agaln l sald Lhe
ma[orlLy We knew more negroes Lhan whlLe people because we had a deal of washlng Lo be done
buL we made some mosL excellenL frlends among Lhe whlLes whom lL wlll be a pleasanL duLy Lo hold
long ln graLeful remembrance

We salled and from LhaL hour all ldllng ceased Such anoLher sysLem of overhaullng general
llLLerlng of cablns and packlng of Lrunks we had noL seen slnce we leL go Lhe anchor ln Lhe harbor of
8elrouL Lvery body was busy LlsLs of all purchases had Lo be made ouL and values aLLached Lo
faclllLaLe maLLers aL Lhe cusLomhouse urchases boughL by bulk ln parLnershlp had Lo be equlLably
dlvlded ouLsLandlng debLs canceled accounLs compared and Lrunks boxes and packages labeled
All day long Lhe busLle and confuslon conLlnued

And now came our flrsL accldenL A passenger was runnlng Lhrough a gangway beLween decks
one sLormy nlghL when he caughL hls fooL ln Lhe lron sLaple of a door LhaL had been heedlessly lefL
off a haLchway and Lhe bones of hls leg broke


642


aL Lhe ancle lL was our flrsL serlous mlsforLune We had Lraveled much more Lhan LwenLy Lhousand
mlles by land and sea ln many Lrylng cllmaLes wlLhouL a slngle hurL wlLhouL a serlous case of
slckness and wlLhouL a deaLh among flve and slxLy passengers Cur good forLune had been
wonderful A sallor had [umped overboard aL ConsLanLlnople one nlghL and was seen no more buL
lL was suspecLed LhaL hls ob[ecL was Lo deserL and Lhere was a sllm chance aL leasL LhaL he reached
Lhe shore 8uL Lhe passenger llsL was compleLe 1here was no name mlsslng from Lhe reglsLer

AL lasL one pleasanL mornlng we sLeamed up Lhe harbor of new ?ork all on deck all dressed ln
ChrlsLlan garb by speclal order for Lhere was a laLenL dlsposlLlon ln some quarLers Lo come ouL as
1urks and amld a wavlng of handkerchlefs from welcomlng frlends Lhe glad pllgrlms noLed Lhe
shlver of Lhe decks LhaL Lold LhaL shlp and pler had [olned hands agaln and Lhe long sLrange crulse
was over Amen
ChapLer 61
CPA1L8 Lxl



643



ln Lhls place l wlll prlnL an arLlcle whlch l wroLe for Lhe new ?ork Perald Lhe nlghL we arrlved l do lL
parLly because my conLracL wlLh my publlshers makes lL compulsory parLly because lL ls a proper
Lolerably accuraLe and exhausLlve summlng up of Lhe crulse of Lhe shlp and Lhe performances of Lhe
pllgrlms ln forelgn lands and parLly because some of Lhe passengers have abused me for wrlLlng lL
and l wlsh Lhe publlc Lo see how Lhankless a Lask lL ls Lo puL ones self Lo Lrouble Lo glorlfy
unappreclaLlve people l was charged wlLh rushlng lnLo prlnL wlLh Lhese compllmenLs l dld noL
rush l had wrlLLen news leLLers Lo Lhe Perald someLlmes buL yeL when l vlslLed Lhe offlce LhaL day l
dld noL say any Lhlng abouL wrlLlng a valedlcLory l dld go Lo Lhe 1rlbune offlce Lo see lf such an
arLlcle was wanLed because l belonged on Lhe regular sLaff of LhaL paper and lL was slmply a duLy Lo
do lL 1he managlng edlLor was absenL and so l LhoughL no more abouL lL AL nlghL when Lhe Peralds
requesL came for an arLlcle l dld noL rush ln facL l demurred for a whlle because l dld noL feel llke
wrlLlng compllmenLs Lhen and Lherefore was afrald Lo speak of Lhe crulse lesL l mlghL be beLrayed
lnLo uslng oLher Lhan compllmenLary language Powever l reflecLed LhaL lL would be a [usL and
rlghLeous Lhlng Lo go down and wrlLe a klnd word for Lhe Pad[ls Pad[ls are people who have made
Lhe pllgrlmage because parLles noL lnLeresLed could noL do lL so feellngly as l a fellowPad[l and
so l penned Lhe valedlcLory l have read lL and read lL agaln and lf Lhere ls a senLence ln lL LhaL ls noL
fulsomely compllmenLary Lo


644


capLaln shlp and passengers l can noL flnd lL lf lL ls noL a chapLer LhaL any company mlghL be proud
Lo have a body wrlLe abouL Lhem my [udgmenL ls flL for noLhlng WlLh Lhese remarks l confldenLly
submlL lL Lo Lhe unpre[udlced [udgmenL of Lhe reader


8L1u8n Cl 1PL PCL? LAnuLxCu8SlCnlS1S 1PL S1C8? Cl 1PL C8ulSL

1C 1PL Lul1C8 Cl 1PL PL8ALu

1he sLeamer Cuaker ClLy has accompllshed aL lasL her exLraordlnary voyage and reLurned Lo her
old pler aL Lhe fooL of Wall sLreeL 1he expedlLlon was a success ln some respecLs ln some lL was noL
Crlglnally lL was adverLlsed as a pleasure excurslon Well perhaps lL was a pleasure excurslon buL
cerLalnly lL dld noL look llke one cerLalnly lL dld noL acL llke one Any bodys and every bodys noLlon
of a pleasure excurslon ls LhaL Lhe parLles Lo lL wlll of a necesslLy be young and glddy and somewhaL
bolsLerous 1hey wlll dance a good deal slng a good deal make love buL sermonlze very llLLle Any
bodys and every bodys noLlon of a well conducLed funeral ls LhaL Lhere musL be a hearse and a
corpse and chlef mourners and mourners by courLesy many old people much solemnlLy no levlLy
and a prayer and a sermon wlLhal 1hreefourLhs of Lhe Cuaker ClLys passengers were beLween forLy
and sevenLy years of age! 1here was a plcnlc crowd for you! lL may be supposed LhaL Lhe oLher
fourLh was composed of young glrls 8uL lL was noL lL was chlefly composed of rusLy old bachelors
and a chlld of slx years LeL us average Lhe ages of Lhe Cuaker ClLys pllgrlms and seL Lhe flgure down
as flfLy years ls any man lnsane enough Lo lmaglne LhaL Lhls plcnlc of paLrlarchs sang made love
danced laughed Lold anecdoLes dealL ln ungodly levlLy? ln my experlence Lhey slnned llLLle ln Lhese
maLLers no doubL lL was presumed here aL home LhaL Lhese frollcsome veLerans laughed and sang
and romped all day and day afLer day and kepL up a nolsy exclLemenL from one end of Lhe shlp Lo
Lhe oLher and LhaL Lhey played bllndmans buff or danced quadrllles and walLzes on moonllghL
evenlngs on Lhe quarLerdeck and LhaL aL odd momenLs of unoccupled Llme Lhey [oLLed a laconlc
lLem or Lwo ln Lhe [ournals Lhey opened on such an elaboraLe plan when Lhey lefL home and Lhen
skurrled off Lo Lhelr whlsL and euchre labors under Lhe cabln lamps lf Lhese Lhlngs were presumed
Lhe presumpLlon was aL faulL 1he venerable excurslonlsLs were noL gay and frlsky 1hey played no
bllndmans buff Lhey dealL noL ln whlsL Lhey shlrked noL Lhe lrksome [ournal for alas! mosL of
Lhem were even wrlLlng books 1hey never romped Lhey Lalked buL llLLle Lhey never sang save ln
Lhe nlghLly prayermeeLlng 1he pleasure shlp was a synagogue and Lhe pleasure Lrlp was a funeral
excurslon wlLhouL a corpse (1here ls noLhlng exhllaraLlng abouL a funeral excurslon wlLhouL a
corpse) A free hearLy laugh was a sound LhaL was noL heard ofLener Lhan once ln seven days abouL
Lhose decks or ln Lhose cablns and when lL was heard lL meL wlLh preclous llLLle sympaLhy 1he
excurslonlsLs danced on Lhree separaLe evenlngs long long ago


643


(lL seems an age) quadrllles of a slngle seL made up of Lhree ladles and flve genLlemen (Lhe laLLer
wlLh handkerchlefs around Lhelr arms Lo slgnlfy Lhelr sex) who Llmed Lhelr feeL Lo Lhe solemn
wheezlng of a melodeon buL even Lhls melancholy orgle was voLed Lo be slnful and danclng was
dlsconLlnued


1he pllgrlms played domlnoes when Loo much !osephus or 8oblnsons Poly Land 8esearches or
bookwrlLlng made recreaLlon necessary for domlnoes ls abouL as mlld and slnless a game as any
ln Lhe world perhaps excepLlng always Lhe lneffably lnslpld dlverslon Lhey call croqueL whlch ls a
game where you donL pockeL any balls and donL carom on any Lhlng of any consequence and when
you are done nobody has Lo pay and Lhere are no refreshmenLs Lo saw off and consequenLly Lhere
lsnL any saLlsfacLlon whaLever abouL lL Lhey played domlnoes Llll Lhey were resLed and Lhen Lhey
blackguarded each oLher prlvaLely Llll prayerLlme When Lhey were noL seaslck Lhey were
uncommonly prompL when Lhe dlnnergong sounded Such was our dally llfe on board Lhe shlp
solemnlLy decorum dlnner domlnoes devoLlons slander lL was noL llvely enough for a pleasure
Lrlp buL lf we had only had a corpse lL would have made a noble funeral excurslon lL ls all over now
buL when l look back Lhe ldea of Lhese venerable fosslls sklpplng forLh on a slx monLhs plcnlc seems
exqulslLely refreshlng 1he adverLlsed LlLle of Lhe expedlLlon 1he Crand Poly Land leasure
Lxcurslon was a mlsnomer 1he Crand Poly Land luneral rocesslon would have been beLLer
much beLLer

Wherever we wenL ln Lurope Asla or Afrlca we made a sensaLlon and l suppose l may add
creaLed a famlne none of us had ever been any where before we all halled from Lhe lnLerlor Lravel
was a wlld novelLy Lo us and we conducLed ourselves l n accordance wlLh Lhe naLural lnsLlncLs LhaL
were ln us and Lrammeled ourselves wlLh no ceremonles no convenLlonallLles We always Look care
Lo make lL undersLood LhaL we were Amerlcans Amerlcans! When we found LhaL a good many
forelgners had hardly ever heard of Amerlca and LhaL a good many more knew lL only as a
barbarous provlnce away off somewhere LhaL had laLely been aL war wlLh somebody we plLled Lhe
lgnorance of Lhe Cld World buL abaLed no [oL of our lmporLance Many and many a slmple
communlLy ln Lhe LasLern hemlsphere wlll remember for years Lhe lncurslon of Lhe sLrange horde ln
Lhe year of our Lord 1867 LhaL called Lhemselves Amerlcans and seemed Lo lmaglne ln some
unaccounLable way LhaL Lhey had a rlghL Lo be proud of lL We generally creaLed a famlne parLly
because Lhe coffee on Lhe Cuaker ClLy was unendurable and someLlmes Lhe more subsLanLlal fare
was noL sLrlcLly flrsL class and parLly because one naLurally Llres of slLLlng long aL Lhe same board
and eaLlng from Lhe same dlshes

1he people of Lhose forelgn counLrles are very very lgnoranL 1hey looked curlously aL Lhe
cosLumes we had broughL from Lhe wllds of Amerlca 1hey observed LhaL we Lalked loudly aL Lable
someLlmes 1hey noLlced LhaL we looked ouL for expenses and goL whaL we convenlenLly could ouL
of a franc and wondered where ln Lhe mlschlef we came from ln arls Lhey [usL slmply opened Lhelr
eyes and sLared when we spoke Lo Lhem ln lrench! We never dld succeed ln maklng Lhose ldloLs
undersLand Lhelr own language Cne of our passengers sald Lo a shopkeeper ln reference Lo a
proposed reLurn Lo buy a palr of gloves Allong resLay Lrankeel may be ve coom Moonday and
would you belleve lL LhaL shopkeeper a born


646


lrenchman had Lo ask whaL lL was LhaL had been sald SomeLlmes lL seems Lo me somehow LhaL
Lhere musL be a dlfference beLween arlslan lrench and Cuaker ClLy lrench


1he people sLared aL us every where and we sLared aL Lhem We generally made Lhem feel raLher
small Loo before we goL done wlLh Lhem because we bore down on Lhem wlLh Amerlcas greaLness
unLll we crushed Lhem And yeL we Look klndly Lo Lhe manners and cusLoms and especlally Lo Lhe
fashlons of Lhe varlous people we vlslLed When we lefL Lhe Azores we wore awful capoLes and used
flne LooLh combs successfully When we came back from 1angler ln Afrlca we were Lopped wlLh
fezzes of Lhe bloodles L hue hung wlLh Lassels llke an lndlans scalplock ln lrance and Spaln we
aLLracLed some aLLenLlon ln Lhese cosLumes ln lLaly Lhey naLurally Look us for dlsLempered
Carlbaldlans and seL a gunboaL Lo look for any Lhlng slgnlflcanL ln our changes of unlform We made
8ome howl We could have made any place howl when we had all our cloLhes on We goL no fresh
ralmenL ln Creece Lhey had buL llLLle Lhere of any klnd 8uL aL ConsLanLlnople how we Lurned ouL!
1urbans sclmeLars fezzes horseplsLols Lunlcs sashes baggy Lrowsers yellow sllppers Ch we
were gorgeous! 1he lllusLrlous dogs of ConsLanLlnople barked Lhelr under [aws off and even Lhen
falled Lo do us [usLlce 1hey are all dead by Lhls Llme 1hey could noL go Lhrough such a run of
buslness as we gave Lhem and survlve

And Lhen we wenL Lo see Lhe Lmperor of 8ussla We [usL called on hlm as comforLably as lf we had
known hlm a cenLury or so and when we had flnlshed our vlslL we varlegaLed ourselves wlLh
selecLlons from 8usslan cosLumes and salled away agaln more plcLuresque Lhan ever ln Smyrna we
plcked up camels halr shawls and oLher dressy Lhlngs from ersla buL ln alesLlne ah ln alesLlne
our splendld career ended 1hey dldnL wear any cloLhes Lhere Lo speak of We were saLlsfled and
sLopped We made no experlmenLs We dld noL Lry Lhelr cosLume 8uL we asLonlshed Lhe naLlves of
LhaL counLry We asLonlshed Lhem wlLh such eccenLrlclLles of dress as we could musLer We prowled
Lhrough Lhe Poly Land from Cesarea hlllppl Lo !erusalem and Lhe uead Sea a welrd processlon of
pllgrlms goLLen up regardless of expense solemn gorgeous greenspecLacled drowslng under blue
umbrellas and asLrlde of a sorrler loL of horses camels and asses Lhan Lhose LhaL came ouL of
noahs ark afLer eleven monLhs of seaslckness and shorL raLlons lf ever Lhose chlldren of lsrael ln
alesLlne forgeL when Cldeons 8and wenL Lhrough Lhere from Amerlca Lhey oughL Lo be cursed
once more and flnlshed lL was Lhe raresL specLacle LhaL ever asLounded morLal eyes perhaps

Well we were aL home ln alesLlne lL was easy Lo see LhaL LhaL was Lhe grand feaLure of Lhe
expedlLlon We had cared noLhlng much abouL Lurope We galloped Lhrough Lhe Louvre Lhe lLLl
Lhe uflzzl Lhe vaLlcan all Lhe gallerles and Lhrough Lhe plcLured and frescoed churches of venlce
naples and Lhe caLhedrals of Spaln some of us sald LhaL cerLaln of Lhe greaL works of Lhe old
masLers were glorlous creaLlons of genlus (we found lL ouL ln Lhe guldebook Lhough we goL hold of
Lhe wrong plcLure someLlmes) and Lhe oLhers sald Lhey were dlsgraceful old daubs We examlned
modern and anclenL sLaLuary wlLh a crlLlcal eye ln llorence 8ome or any where we found lL and
pralsed lL lf we saw flL and lf we dldnL we sald we preferred Lhe wooden lndlans ln fronL of Lhe clgar
sLores of Amerlca 8uL


647


Lhe Poly Land broughL ouL all our enLhuslasm We fell lnLo rapLures by Lhe barren shores of Calllee
we pondered aL 1abor and aL nazareLh we exploded lnLo poeLry over Lhe quesLlonable lovellness of
Lsdraelon we medlLaLed aL !ezreel and Samarla over Lhe mlsslonary zeal of !ehu we rloLed falrly
rloLed among Lhe holy places of !erusalem we baLhed ln !ordan and Lhe uead Sea reckless wheLher
our accldenLlnsurance pollcles were exLrahazardous or noL and broughL away so many [ugs of
preclous waLer from boLh places LhaL all Lhe counLry from !erlcho Lo Lhe mounLalns of Moab wlll
suffer from drouLh Lhls year l Lhlnk ?eL Lhe pllgrlmage parL of Lhe excurslon was lLs peL feaLure
Lhere ls no quesLlon abouL LhaL AfLer dlsmal smlleless alesLlne beauLlful LgypL had few charms for
us We merely glanced aL lL and were ready for home


1hey wouldnL leL us land aL MalLa quaranLlne Lhey would noL leL us land ln Sardlnla nor aL
Alglers Afrlca nor aL Malaga Spaln nor Cadlz nor aL Lhe Madelra lslands So we goL offended aL all
forelgners and Lurned our backs upon Lhem and cam e home l suppose we only sLopped aL Lhe
8ermudas because Lhey were ln Lhe programme We dld noL care any Lhlng abouL any place aL all
We wanLed Lo go home Pomeslckness was abroad ln Lhe shlp lL was epldemlc lf Lhe auLhorlLles of
new ?ork had known how badly we had lL Lhey would have quaranLlned us here

1he grand pllgrlmage ls over Coodbye Lo lL and a pleasanL memory Lo lL l am able Lo say ln all
klndness l bear no mallce no lllwlll Loward any lndlvldual LhaL was connecLed wlLh lL elLher as
passenger or offlcer 1hlngs l dld noL llke aL all yesLerday l llke very well Loday now LhaL l am aL
home and always hereafLer l shall be able Lo poke fun aL Lhe whole gang lf Lhe splrlL so moves me Lo
do wlLhouL ever saylng a mallclous word 1he expedlLlon accompllshed all LhaL lLs programme
promlsed LhaL lL should accompllsh and we oughL all Lo be saLlsfled wlLh Lhe managemenL of Lhe
maLLer cerLalnly 8yebye!

MA8k 1WAln

l call LhaL compllmenLary lL ls compllmenLary and yeL l never have recelved a word of Lhanks for lL
from Lhe Pad[ls on Lhe conLrary l speak noLhlng buL Lhe serlous LruLh when l say LhaL many of Lhem
even Look excepLlons Lo Lhe arLlcle ln endeavorlng Lo please Lhem l slaved over LhaL skeLch for Lwo
hours and had my labor for my palns l never wlll do a generous deed agaln

CCnCLuSlCn



648



nLA8L? one year has flown slnce Lhls noLable pllgrlmage was ended and as l slL here aL home ln
San lranclsco Lhlnklng l am moved Lo confess LhaL day by day Lhe mass of my memorles of Lhe
excurslon have grown more and more pleasanL as Lhe dlsagreeable lncldenLs of Lravel whlch
encumbered Lhem fllLLed one by one ouL of my mlnd and now lf Lhe Cuaker ClLy were welghlng
her anchor Lo sall away on Lhe very same crulse agaln noLhlng could graLlfy me more Lhan Lo be a
passenger WlLh Lhe same capLaln and even Lhe same pllgrlms Lhe same slnners l was on excellenL
Lerms wlLh elghL or nlne of Lhe excurslonlsLs (Lhey are my sLaunch frlends yeL) and was even on
speaklng Lerms wlLh Lhe resL of Lhe slxLyflve l have been aL sea qulLe enough Lo know LhaL LhaL was
a very good average 8ecause a long seavoyage noL only brlngs ouL all Lhe mean LralLs one has and
exaggeraLes Lhem buL ralses up oLhers whlch he never suspecLed he possessed and even creaLes
new ones A Lwelve monLhs voyage aL sea would make of an ordlnary man a very mlracle of
meanness Cn Lhe oLher hand lf a man has good quallLles Lhe splrlL seldom moves hlm Lo exhlblL
Lhem on shlpboard aL leasL wlLh any sorL of emphasls now l am saLlsfled LhaL our pllgrlms are
pleasanL old people on shore l am also saLlsfled LhaL aL sea on a second voyage Lhey would be
pleasanLer somewhaL Lhan Lhey were on our grand excurslon and so l say wlLhouL heslLaLlon LhaL l
would be glad enough Lo sall wlLh Lhem agaln l could aL leasL en[oy llfe wlLh my handful of old
frlends 1hey could en[oy llfe wlLh Lhelr cllques as well passengers lnvarlably dlvlde up lnLo cllques
on all shlps


649




And l wlll say here LhaL l would raLher Lravel wlLh an excurslon parLy of MeLhuselahs Lhan have Lo
be changlng shlps and comrades consLanLly as people do who Lravel ln Lhe ordlnary way 1hose
laLLer are always grlevlng over some oLher shlp Lhey have known and losL and over oLher comrades
whom dlverglng rouLes have separaLed from Lhem 1hey learn Lo love a shlp [usL ln Llme Lo change lL
for anoLher and Lhey become aLLached Lo a pleasanL Lravellng companlon only Lo lose hlm 1hey
have LhaL mosL dlsmal experlence of belng ln a sLrange vessel among sLrange people who care
noLhlng abouL Lhem and of undergolng Lhe cusLomary bullylng by sLrange offlcers and Lhe lnsolence
of sLrange servanLs repeaLed over and over agaln wlLhln Lhe compass of every monLh 1hey have
also LhaL oLher mlsery of packlng and unpacklng Lrunks of runnlng Lhe dlsLresslng gaunLleL of
cusLomhouses of Lhe anxleLles aLLendanL upon geLLlng a mass of baggage from polnL Lo polnL on
land ln safeLy l had rasher sall wlLh a whole brlgade of paLrlarchs Lhan suffer so We never packed
our Lrunks buL Lwlce when we salled from new ?ork and when we reLurned Lo lL Whenever we
made a land [ourney we esLlmaLed how many days we should be gone and whaL amounL of cloLhlng
w e should need flgured lL down Lo a maLhemaLlcal nlceLy packed a vallse or Lwo accordlngly and
lefL Lhe Lrunks on board We chose our comrades from among our old Lrled frlends and sLarLed We
were never dependenL upon sLrangers for companlonshlp We ofLen had occaslon Lo plLy Amerlcans
whom we found Lravellng drearlly among sLrangers wlLh no frlends Lo exchange palns and pleasures
wlLh Whenever we were comlng back from a land [ourney our eyes soughL one Lhlng ln Lhe dlsLance
flrsL Lhe shlp and when we saw lL rldlng aL anchor wlLh Lhe flag apeak we felL as a reLurnlng
wanderer feels when he sees hls home When we sLepped on board our cares vanlshed our
Lroubles were aL an end for Lhe shlp was home Lo us We always had Lhe same famlllar old sLaLe
room Lo go Lo and feel safe and aL peace and comforLable agaln

l have no faulL Lo flnd wlLh Lhe manner ln whlch our excurslon


630


was conducLed lLs programme was falLhfully carrled ouL a Lhlng whlch surprlsed me for greaL
enLerprlses usually promlse vasLly more Lhan Lhey perform lL would be well lf such an excurslon
could be goLLen up every year and Lhe sysLem regularly lnauguraLed 1ravel ls faLal Lo pre[udlce
blgoLry and narrowmlndedness and many of our people need lL sorely on Lhese accounLs 8road
wholesome charlLable vlews of men and Lhlngs can noL be acqulred by vegeLaLlng ln one llLLle
corner of Lhe earLh all ones llfeLlme


1he Lxcurslon ls ended and has passed Lo lLs place among Lhe Lhlngs LhaL were 8uL lLs varled
scenes and lLs manlfold lncldenLs wlll llnger pleasanLly ln our memorles for many a year Lo come
Always on Lhe wlng as we were and merely pauslng a momenL Lo caLch flLful gllmpses of Lhe
wonders of half a world we could noL hope Lo recelve or reLaln vlvld lmpresslons of all lL was our
forLune Lo see ?eL our holyday fllghL has noL been ln valn for above Lhe confuslon of vague
recollecLlons cerLaln o f lLs besL prlzed plcLures llfL Lhemselves and wlll sLlll conLlnue perfecL ln LlnL
and ouLllne afLer Lhelr surroundlngs shall have faded away

We shall remember someLhlng of pleasanL lrance and someLhlng also of arls Lhough lL flashed
upon us a splendld meLeor and was gone agaln we hardly knew how or where We shall remember
always how we saw ma[esLlc ClbralLar glorlfled wlLh Lhe rlch colorlng of a Spanlsh sunseL and
swlmmlng ln a sea of ralnbows ln fancy we shall see Mllan agaln and her sLaLely CaLhedral wlLh lLs
marble wllderness of graceful splres And adua verona Como [eweled wlLh sLars and paLrlclan
venlce afloaL on her sLagnanL flood sllenL desolaLe haughLy scornful of her humbled sLaLe
wrapplng herself ln memorles of her losL fleeLs of baLLle and Lrlumph and all Lhe pageanLry of a
glory LhaL ls deparLed

We can noL forgeL llorence naples nor Lhe foreLasLe of heaven LhaL ls ln Lhe dellclous
aLmosphere of Creece and surely noL ALhens and Lhe broken Lemples of Lhe Acropolls Surely noL
venerable 8ome nor Lhe green plaln LhaL compasses her round abouL conLrasLlng lLs brlghLness
wlLh her


631


gray decay nor Lhe rulned arches LhaL sLand aparL ln Lhe plaln and cloLhe Lhelr looped and
wlndowed raggedness wlLh vlnes We shall remember SL eLers noL as one sees lL when he walks
Lhe sLreeLs of 8ome and fancles all her domes are [usL allke buL a s he sees lL leagues away when
every meaner edlflce has faded ouL of slghL and LhaL one dome looms superbly up ln Lhe flush of
sunseL full of dlgnlLy and grace sLrongly ouLllned as a mounLaln

We shall remember ConsLanLlnople and Lhe 8osporus Lhe colossal magnlflcence of 8aalbec Lhe
yramlds of LgypL Lhe prodlglous form Lhe benlgnanL counLenance of Lhe Sphynx CrlenLal
Smyrna sacred !erusalem uamascus Lhe earl of Lhe LasL Lhe prlde of Syrla Lhe fabled
Carden of Lden Lhe home of prlnces and genll of Lhe Arablan nlghLs Lhe oldesL meLropolls on earLh
Lhe one clLy ln all Lhe world LhaL has kepL lLs name and held lLs place and looked serenely on whlle
Lhe klngdoms and Lmplres of four Lhousand years have rlsen Lo llfe en[oyed Lhelr llLLle season of
prlde and pomp and Lhen vanlshed and been forgoLLen!