LLlqueLLe durlng Parl 8aya

1he flrsL day of Lhe monLh of Syawal ln Lhe lslamlc calendar marks Lhe flrsL day of Lhe Parl 8aya
AldllflLrl celebraLlons uurlng Parl 8aya musllms ln 8runel wlll open Lhe doors of Lhelr homes Lo
vlslLors for 'Cpen Pouse' where famlly and frlends come Lo vlslL Lo furLher sLrengLhen Lles of
broLherhood lndeed whlch ls an lmporLanL feaLure ln lslam and ls menLloned ln Lhe AlCur'an lL's a
[oyous Llme where mulLlculLural 8runel regardless of rellglon or race also [olns ln Lhe celebraLlons
by vlslLlng Lhe open houses of Lhelr Malay musllm nelghbours and frlends
lL's lmporLanL Lo observe proper eLlqueLLe durlng Lhe celebraLlons 1hough your Malay musllm hosL
wlll noL necessarlly commenL on Lhls observlng eLlqueLLe wlll help ease any soclal gaffes or awkward
momenLs durlng Parl 8aya
uurlng Parl 8aya Malay Musllms wlll LradlLlonally wear new cloLhlng lf posslble as parL of Lhe
celebraLlon as lL ls encouraged ln lslam as well as groomlng oneself for Lhe occaslon men looklng
Lhe parL by comblng and Lrlmmlng Lhelr halr wearlng Lhelr songkok and sln[ang properly and Lhe
ladles wlll wear Lhelr ba[u kurung or kebaya When vlslLlng a Malay musllm home aLLlre ls
lmporLanL Avold vlslLlng ln shorLs rlpped [eans sleeveless Lops or sklmpy dresses as anyLhlng LhaL ls
reveallng for boLh males and females ls Laboo and your hosL wlll vlew Lhls as a slgn of dlsrespecL
AlLhough your Malay hosL wlll probably noL commenL on your aLLlre lLs pollLe Lo dress modesLly [usL
llke how Lhe Malays are expecLed Lo dress
1hough Lhe ldea of Lhe open house ls LhaL anyone ls welcomed ln Lhls does noL necessarlly mean
LhaL guesLs should enLer Lhe home as Lhey please lL ls pollLe Lo knock on Lhe door Lo lnform Lhe hosL
of your arrlval or lf Lhe door ls open Lo aL leasL call ouL Lo allow Lhe hosL Lo recelve you Calllng ouL
Assalamualalkum" wlll be answered by Lhe reply of Wa'alalkum salam" whlch wlshes boLh Lhe
hosL and Lhe guesL eace be upon you"
8efore enLerlng guesLs wlll usually Lake off Lhelr shoes as a slgn of respecL Lo Lhe hosL and hls
home A Lyplcal Malay home ls a space shared by all and lLs noL unusual Lo flnd LhaL Lhe llvlng room
also becomes a dlnlng room or where Lhey conducL Lhelr prayers glven Lhe need As Lhese acLlvlLles
requlre a clean space one cannoL go wrong enLerlng elLher barefooL or wlLh socks on
1he musllm handshake ls known as salam whereby boLh parLles exLend Lhelr arms and clasp each
oLhers hand ln a brlef buL flrm grlp 1he man offers elLher one or boLh hands grasps hls frlends
hand and brlngs hls hands back Lo hls chesL Lo mean l greeL you from my hearL

MosL Malays are aware of wesLern ways so a handshake has become accepLable 1he wesLern way
of shaklng hands ls qulLe slmllar Lo Lhe Malays alLhough Lhere are sllghL dlfferences as menLloned
above Cne Lhlng Lo bear ln mlnd ls LhaL Malay women do noL shake hands wlLh men ln accordance
wlLh lslamlc pracLlce ln Lhls lnsLance a smlle nod of acknowledgemenL and pollLe conversaLlon
beLween Lhe man and woman wlll sufflce As a subsLlLuLe men may also sllghLly nodlnsLead whlle
placlng Lhelr hand on Lhelr hearL ln greeLlng a woman Malay women can of course shake hands
wlLh oLher women 1hey commonly do so by grasplng Lhe hands of Lhe oLher woman wlLh boLh of
Lhelrs Cf course a smlle ls always a welcome accompanlmenL Cne wlll noLlce when LhaL younger
relaLlves of Lhe famlly wlll ofLen klss Lhe hands of Lhelr elders or Louch lL Lo Lhelr foreheads as a slgn
of respecL
AfLer belng seaLed by Lhe hosLs guesLs wlll usually be lnvlLed Lo parLake ln Lhe prepared buffeL lf
one has vlslLed many houses and wlshes Lo refraln from eaLlng excesslvely Lhe gesLure of '[angkau'
llLerally meanlng ln 8runelan Malay 'Lo Louch' ls allowed 1o refuse food one should [usL Louch Lhe
edge of Lhe Lray or Lhe plaLe wlLhouL necessarlly Louchlng Lhe food Lhls ls so LhaL one may noL crave
Lhe food laLer on 1o eaL even [usL a sllce of cake or [usL a blsculL wlll fulfll a Malay hosL's sense of
duLy Lo feed a guesL so overeaLlng as noL Lo offend your hosLs ls unnecessary
uurlng Lhe open houses guesLs are usually served wlLh a ralnbow selecLlon of sofL drlnks and
cordlals buL lf you're waLchlng your sugar lnLake lL's noL lmpollLe Lo ask for a glass of waLer lnsLead
When parLaklng ln food or drlnk always recelve or Lake wlLh your rlghL hand 1he lefL hand should
never be used Lo handle food under any clrcumsLances as lL ls consldered unclean
8uah Langan" or glfLs are unnecessary durlng Parl 8aya a guesL's presence ln Lhe home ls already
very much appreclaLed Some houses wlll offer Lhe LradlLlonal green packeLs" Lo chlldren whlch
should be recelved wlLh Lhe rlghL hand or boLh hands
As LhroughouL Lhe day a Malay home wlll recelve many guesLs lL ls besL noL Lo lolLer or oversLay
your welcome even Lhough Lhe hosL may lnslsL LhaL you sLay longer ln Malay socleLy lL ls Lhe helghL
of rudeness Lo make your guesL feel unwelcome so lf Lhere are more guesLs comlng Lhrough Lhe
door do excuse yourself pollLely
1hough open houses generally wlll recelve guesLs LhroughouL Lhe day lL's besL Lo avold prayer Llmes
Lo allow Lhe hosLs Llme Lo observe Lhe flve dally prayers
lollowlng Lhese guldellnes wlll make lL a happy Parl 8aya for everyone regardless lf you're a guesL
or a hosL 1o all our musllm readers SelamaL Parl 8aya AldllflLrl" and we hope everyone wlll be
safe whlle drlvlng around on Lhe roads durlng Lhls fesLlve season


1PL fronL door of Lhe home may be wlde open as lf welcomlng Lhe casual vlslLor Lo enLer however
Lhls ls noL necessarlly Lhe case 1he Malays have a warm and welcomlng aLLlLude Lhelr homes are
open Lo relaLlves and frlends and doors are ofLen lefL open as a slgn LhaL Lhe hosL or famlly ls home
buL a closed door means LhaL Lhe famlly ls away or noL recelvlng guesLs

1he slmple call of Assalamualalkum! brlngs Lhe hosL scurrylng Lo Lhe door respondlng wlLh Wa
alalkum assalaam upon belng lnvlLed ln Lhe hosL may allow forelgn guesLs Lo leave Lhelr shoes on
buL lL ls Lhe helghL of courLesy Lo Lake off your shoes before enLerlng A Lyplcal Malay home ls a
space shared by all and lLs noL unusual Lo flnd LhaL Lhe llvlng room also becomes a dlnlng room or
where Lhey conducL Lhelr prayers glven Lhe need As Lhese acLlvlLles requlre a clean space one
cannoL go wrong enLerlng elLher barefooL or wlLh socks on even lf Lhere ls a Lelllng hole ln your sock

ALLlre ls also lmporLanL when vlslLlng a Musllm home Avold vlslLlng ln shorLs sleeveless Lops or
sklmpy dresses as anyLhlng LhaL ls reveallng for boLh males and females ls Laboo 1hey vlew Lhls as a
slgn of dlsrespecL anLs for women are accepLable buL a long sklrL ls besL AlLhough your Malay
hosL wlll probably noL commenL on your aLLlre lLs pollLe Lo dress modesLly [usL llke how Lhe Malays
are expecLed Lo dress

1he LradlLlonal Malay handshake ls known as salam whereby boLh parLles exLend Lhelr arms and
clasp each oLhers hand ln a brlef buL flrm grlp 1he man offers elLher one or boLh hands grasps hls
frlends hand and brlngs hls hands back Lo hls chesL Lo mean l greeL you from my hearL

MosL Malays are aware of wesLern ways so Lhe handshake ls normal 1he wesLern way of shaklng
hands ls qulLe slmllar Lo Lhe Malays alLhough Lhere are sllghL dlfferences as menLloned above Cne
Lhlng Lo bear ln mlnd ls LhaL Malay women do noL shake hands wlLh men ln accordance wlLh lslamlc
pracLlce ln Lhls lnsLance a smlle nod of acknowledgemenL and pollLe conversaLlon beLween Lhe
man and woman wlll sufflce As a subsLlLuLe men may also bow lnsLead whlle placlng Lhelr hand on
Lhelr hearL ln greeLlng a woman Malay women can of course shake hands wlLh oLher women 1hey
commonly do so by grasplng Lhe hands of Lhe oLher woman wlLh boLh of Lhelrs Cf course a smlle ls
always a welcome accompanlmenL 1he young wlll ofLen klss Lhe hands of Lhelr elders as a slgn of
respecL and deference

8uah Langan (llLerally lrulL of Lhe Pand) means souvenlr or a glfL lLs always nlce Lo brlng a llLLle
souvenlr as a glfL for your Malay hosL lL can be a someLhlng slmple a bag of frulL chocolaLes or a
cake or [usL abouL anyLhlng halal

Lven lf Lhe vlslL ls shorL or fleeLlng a Malay hosL wlll sLlll lnslsL on lnvlLlng you ln for refreshmenLs
LlghL snacks and drlnks wlll be offered and noL Lo parLake ls lmpollLe a mere slp or a small blLe of
someLhlng wlll sufflce 1o refuse food one should [usL Louch Lhe edge of Lhe Lray or Lhe plaLe belng
served 1hls ls Lo [angkau so LhaL one may noL crave Lhe food laLer on lood should be Laken wlLh
your rlghL hand 1he lefL hand should never be used Lo handle food under any clrcumsLances as lL ls
consldered unclean

ln Lhe pasL hosLs were expecLed Lo offer sekapur slreh (a preparaLlon of beLel leaves sLored ln a
box Lo be eaLen wlLh a Lhln layer of slaked llme gambler and sllces of Lhe areca nuL) 1oday Lhls
cusLom ls only pracLlced by Lhose llvlng ln Lhe rural vlllages

unless youre asked Lo vlslL aL a cerLaln Llme lLs usually besL Lo avold Lhe evenlngs (especlally
beLween 700pm Lo 800pm) as mosL Malays belng Musllm perform Lhelr evenlng prayers durlng
LhaL perlod

lL ls also worLh noLlng oLher prayer Llmes durlng Lhe day 1hursday evenlngs are usually reserved for
rellglous acLlvlLles or Lhe famlly so lL ls also recommended Lo avold Lhls Llme