Appendix 7: Apologies

Riding out the crisis often means apologizing. Just what constitutes an effective apology is a moving target, changing with social values and customs. But heres what seems to work at this moment. First, there cant be another transgression hidden in the apology. Im sorry you misunderstood what I said is a not-very-subtle accusation that the person youre apologizing to isnt very bright. A sincere apology also has to occur right on the heels of the offence. The longer you wait, the more you have to do to be forgiven. A sincere and fast apology should also show that youve learned a lesson. State the lesson and the changes youve made to your thinking, processes or staff to prevent another offence. Its always a good guess that people are not well informed on public issues and might not be familiar with the original offence. So dont dwell on the negative. Focus on the changes youve made and any positive statements you can make. Its also a good guess that people arent paying a great deal of attention to your apology. If you want them to get the message, repeat it. Then theres the dilemma of addressing the actual people youve offended, not just apologizing to everyone in general. When people are offended or outraged, they stop receiving messages. Eighty percent of anything you give offended people to hear or read will be filtered out or not understood. Heres where the magic number 4 comes into play. First of all, the apology needs to have four times the weight and temperature of the offence. How about the spouse who asks, How do I look in this? If the response is, Have you gained a little weight? theres some repair work to do, and it will take longer than the original six-word response.

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Four is also the number of empathetic statements you need to make to open up the eyelids of offended parties and raise their metaphorical earlids. Empathy doesnt cost you anything and does not necessarily imply responsibility or liability. How about these empathetic statements: I can see you are angry. Boy, Id be as angry as you if I were in your shoes. Im really sorry youre so upset. Id like to see what I can do to help. These are generic, and more specific empathetic statements will flow from real-life situations. After the four empathetic statements, offended parties might be willing to hear four statements about the remedies you propose. The number four is easy to rememberone message for each eye and ear. You need to brainstorm about the substantial remedies. What actions can you take? Your apology and remedies can go bad like rotting fruit on a grocery-store shelf. An apology delayed is an apology denied. Delay only compounds the offence. The competing advice is that theres no reason to alert the world to your transgressions if you dont have to and narrow room to manoeuvre makes crisis management an unforgiving art and science. Here are the classic elements in an effective apology:
l The apology must have four times the weight, temperature and

l You must list the lessons you have learned. l You must list the changes in policies and procedures to prevent

future occurrences.
l Look sorry, be sorry, say youre sorry.

Conclusion
Many of the sections and chapters of this book have conclusions. Many have discussion questions. There are many checklists to help readers take action. But a book needs a final conclusion. If there is an appropriate punctuation mark to this book, it is a comma or a dash, not a period. The craft and science of crisis management is on-going. It does not stop. The bar is always higher. Horizons recede. New goals are set. The crisis managers work is never doneespecially if there isnt a crisis to handle. Theres a great expression among some First Nations people and AboriginalsNow that weve shot the moose, whos going to drag it out of the woods? This is a metaphor for the fact that this book (or perhaps manual or guide) has discussed crisis management and related issues from many perspectives that seemed helpful. Now, the task is the readers drag the moose out of the woods by using the companion DVD and write the best crisis plan for your organization.

impact of the offence.

l The remedy must exceed the expectations of the offended. l You must make four empathetic statements to open up the eyes and

ears of the offended.

l You must make four substantial statements to try to convince the

aggrieved of your good intentions, the inadvertent nature of the offence or the appropriateness of the remedy.
l You must make eye contact with the offended, the reporter or the

camera lens as appropriate.

l You must recognize the impact of the offence.

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