Music Palace Crouch End, www.musicpalacelondon.com Tickets http://www.etickets.to/buy/?e=5039 Desperately seeking funny stuff to put in this fanzine.

(As you can tell) If you have: Column ideas, cartoons, jokes, interviews with famous comedians (burps accepted), reportage that obviously didnt happen (or it wouldnt be comedy, would it, or other suitable items, please wing them to..

A look at the comical happenings around the UKs counties.

Surrey Surrey gets full Stock Broker Belt Status but still cant find a stockbroker to hold up. Surrey Surrey removed the leaves from its county signs following a dispute with South West Trains that it had been jinxed by the wrong type of leaf and the trains didnt work between Petersfield and Clapham Junction. Shropshire HSBC has realised only islanders used their sponsored boats.

On the Rack With Deirdre Python:

Brought to you by..who cares? Dear Deirdre, Last night my husband came home early, asked me how do, cooked a meal for us both and didnt watch TV all evening. Is he having an affair? Deirdree replies, Dear Duckie, Yes, he is. But it must be with a professional. Is he seeing anyone? Sorry. I mean a shrink? Count your lucky stars Duckie. Dear Deirdre, Im Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells. When will things ever look up? Deirdre replies, Dear Duckie, Youre in Tunbridge Wells arent you? Throw a rubber duck down the well Duckie and itll look up at you. (As nothing else will). If you want the torture treatment to make the pain go away email our dierdrie D.Python@Duckie.com Welcome to the Kerby Grip Fanzine

DUNCAN DISORDERLY Has never been happier. Oh woe is me. Hey hey hey. Hey! Stop cutting my hedge or Ill cut my hedge fund. Oh, your in Crouch End, you wont know what a hedge fund is. Funny? Now Im talking about money I seem to have sobered up a bit. Champagne! Champagne give thehic!

Surrey Guildford discovers its Viking roots and realised they were never blond and so changes its name to Mouseyford. Avon Calling Cumbria Why us? Surrey: A small village called Dunsfold has built a huge scarecrow out of hay in protest at a dispute over farming laws and now is called the Wicker Man village. Jeremy Clarkson has left. roamingreporter@large.com

A letter from the editor, Hi lucky reader, Now youve got your greasy hands on a crisp copy of the second ever issue of Kerby Grip Fanzine. I give you explicit permission to wipe your bum on it when your bum on it when you have finished reading. Ill check you have read it all. As a very special treat to commiserate the time you To: finish reading, From: here is a box. Imagine its a Christmas present. Xxx Da Editor.

Page 2. Positions Vacant: Do you have patience? Become a Doctor. Do you know the difference between Longditude and Latitude? Do you like Solitude? You have a good attitude. Start your own business. Have you paid for one of our courses? Learned how to write a CV? No? Well, thats that then. Network with us Freedom of the Fringe FreedomOTFringe Freedom of the Fringe Our Website See You Next Thursday Come and find me if you want a job. www.beachbum.com/dream

The great Kerby Grip Caption competition. Below is a photograph. (adjust your spectacles if you cant see it is). If you can think of a caption for it, write it in (yes practically medieval isnt it?) and bring it along to a Thursday night at Torriano and win a prize.

Fringe Peaks - Episode 1

Opens on a picture of Torrianos pub, Kentish Town. Apparently this area is slightly down market and according to Camden residents doesnt exist. A cyclist pulls into view. He is probably a courier. Reveals himself as Dave Lock Up Your Goldfish Rego, of Dyslexia a tiny province of the Hungry Australian Empire. He is also a comedian. A people carrier then swings in and it looks as if it might be a tardis as a large guy steps out. This is NigeeBaby, the biggest comedian you will see this year if you can stand hearing his psychology joke. There is a camera crew arriving. Oh, no its Rufus Penzance. Wearing multiple caps. Right now it is his camera cap, then comedy cap, DJ cap and finally his night cap. Another comedian rolls into the frame. He is Bagel who provides the sounds at Torrianos while advising

Your caption: (max a Tweetsize 140 characters):

www.tntcomedy.com How to live with your sat nav From bitter experience of trying to tell taxi the way to my house, Ive realised that if I got a Sat Nav I would probably fall out with it on my first journey. Then it would be saying: OK, go the way you want to. Stop and turn round and go back the way you came.

Fringe Peaks continued. Drug dealers on their pudding bowl hair cuts. Oh. Mullet! Suddenly 100 men rush the street. All wanting to perform comedy? Is this the comedy cavalry? No. Actually Sarma Wolff has appeared and is rounding up people from the party upstairs to take to the comedy dungeon. All men? Sarma, whats going on?

Yes, there are females yet to arrive. Theres the brilliantly adequate Jane Deane and her jacket of coloured balloons. Yes, balloons, shes come straight from Windsor. The Crouch End Contingent makes its approach, spearheaded by Miss Marple on Acid Sophie Sweatman. In the next episode meet Fred the Unafraid Barber, Dean keep em in check Roberts, Alex, Tim and &