Buffy: Heart of Darkness Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven
June 25, 2003 Sunnydale

Spike could hear a hissing noise as he stumbled to his feet, a sound like air escaping from a tire, only it grew progressively louder. He wasnt sure if he imagined it or not; still groggy from being slammed into Faiths car by the explosion, he strove to get his bearings. Is this bloody car gonna go up too? He leapt back away from the Falcon, tripping over Xanders unconscious form, and fell back on his rear end. He looked up to see a flaming arrow pass through the air where he had been standing, the hiss of its flight now a growl as the missile cut through the Falcons rear drivers side door, the haft and feathers still sticking out as the flame licked at the seats inside. Bloody hell, Spike growled. They set us up. Bastards. Faith sat up next to him, and the two regarded one another for a moment. Then Spike backhanded her, knocking her away from him. Faith rolled with the swat and ended up in a crouch; she stood. You wanna go for it, Spike? Me, Id love a good rumble right about now. Spike started to rise to his feet but remembered the arrow. Not with the cavalry shootin arrows in my back, no, he told her. But Id love to teach you a lesson another time, maybe. Faith danced in and kicked him, sending him to the asphalt. You afraid of me? Spike was on his feet in a flash, closing with Faith and grabbing her, spinning her around so her archer companion couldnt draw a bead on him. Im not afraid of any Slayer, he growled, punching her across the jaw. Least of all the fill-in variety. He slammed Faith in the stomach, knocking her back, and landed a high kick to her chin. She fell to the ground. Spike pounced upon her, falling atop the Slayer before an arrow could find its way home. He opened his mouth to bite her when Faith smashed the heel of her hand against the bottom of his jaw, snapping his mouth shut with great force. Spike issued a muffled grunt of pain, and Faith jabbed him between the legs with her knee. Spike rolled over, tossing Faith aside, and moved to go after her when he heard the slapping of rubber soles on concrete heading his way. The other Slayer, he knew, and he darted over, crouching low, to where Angelus lay on the pavement. He started to lift his sire over his shoulder when something hit him across the small of his back. He dropped Angelus and turned, enraged, to tear Faith a new one. Only it wasnt Faith facing him. Another woman, with long, dark hair like Faith, but slimmer of build, and taller. I dont know who you are, Spike grunted, but youre a dead woman. He grabbed her quicker than she could raise her stake and bit down through her shirt, puncturing her skin lower on the shoulder than normal, at the lowest part of the neck. The young woman screamed in horror and Spike began to suck her blood. Let her go! a male voice cried, closing fast. Spike dropped his victim to the pavement; she stared up at him glassy-eyed as blood flowed freely from her wound. I am so gonna kill you! Faith hissed, throwing herself at Spike. No youre not, Angelus countered, grabbing her leg and tripping her, Faith sprawled to the pavement, swearing, as Angelus rose to his feet. 256
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What, no Buffy in this ambush? he wondered, hunting features shifting into place. Its true, the human said, looking up at Angelus from where he tended to the wounded girl. You betcha, Pike, Angelus smiled. And Id love to stay and chat with you about it, but between Faith and Shelley, youve got us just a little outnumbered. So I think well just be going now. Like hell, Faith told him, coming at him. Youre not gettin away, you shit. She kicked him in the shoulder, but Angelus danced back, deflecting most of the blow. Id be happy to kill you, Faith, but as soon as Shelley gets a bead on us, Spikes dust. And Id rather not see that happen. You? Spike asked, his yellow eyes darting about for the unseen archer. The hiss of another arrow approached; Spike saw it too late, saw the dart heading straight for his heart. He turned at the last second, and the bolt slammed home in his shoulder, pinning the arm to his side. He looked at Angelus. That really hurts, he commented. Faith attacked Angelus. Kill him, Pike! Kill Spike! she called out as she charged. He anticipated her low kick and grabbed her leg, spinning her around into Pike. The two humans tumbled to the ground, and Angelus turned to Spike and yanked the arrow out. Spike bit off a cry of pain. Now lets get the hell away from here before she does that again, Angelus suggested, and the two of them took off at a sprint. Faith disengaged herself from Pike and stood up, beginning to run, but the vampires already had a long head start on her. She knew she could catch them, but she doubted even her ability to take out both Spike and Angelus. The dark Slayer stopped running and turned back to Pike, who had moved over once again to Rachels prone form. Call 911, he told Faith, applying pressure to the wound. I dont have a cell phone, she told him. Shelley approached them, her compound bow still in her left hand. I do, she said, whipping it off her belt and opening it up. Faith moved over to Xander and bent over him. You better be okay, she muttered. B is gonna kill me as it is.
*
You stupid bitch! Buffy growled, barely able to restrain herself from slapping Faith. What were you thinking? Buffy, Pike offered, but she shot him a murderous glance, and he closed his mouth. You werent thinking, Buffy hissed, glaring at Faith, her eyes lit with anger. You just did what you always do, just started attacking things without any plan, without any thought, just punch, kick, maim, and-- Buff, Xander interrupted. It was my idea. Faith gave Buffy a foul look but chose to keep her mouth shut. You? Buffy asked quietly. Xander? Why? He held up a hand. We were getting stuff from Giles place, like we agreed, but it took longer than we planned, because I started lookin at books and stuff that I thought might help us.
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By the time me and Faith were ready to leave, it was almost dark, and Faith saw Spikes car, so we knew him and Angel were gonna try something. He put his hands together, continuing, So we went back inside to try to think of a plan. Thats when Pike called. I tried calling over here, Pike explained to Buffy quickly, but the line was busy. After a couple of tries, I called Giles place on a whim. Xander picked up. Buffy frowned at Pike, nodding. I must have been on-line, researching something, Daisy piped up. Sorry. Its not your fault, Giles told her. Buffy and I were on the way back from taking her mother to the airport. The flight was a little delayed, which explains why we were late. But when I got the call from Pike, thats when I got the idea. Me and Faith could lay an ambush for Spike and Angel. Theyd be so busy licking their chops waiting to kill us that theyd never catch on we had Robin Hoodess hiding in the trees. Shelley, Buffy realized. At the hospital with Rachel, Pike put in. I should be there too. Look at it on the bright side, B. We wrecked their car. Now those two are on foot. Thatll make it easier to find them. Until they steal another car, Valeria observed. But one without windows painted black means they wont be taking any day trips. Xander looked at Buffy uncertainly. So it wasnt a total loss. Tell that to Rachel, Buffy snapped. Faith stood up and Buffy set her jaw, waiting for a confrontation. Shelley hit that car with a fire arrow, Faith told her. That thing blew up bad enough to knock us all on our asses. They must have been carrying some serious explosives with them. We probably saved Giles place and all his stuff, too. Which I thank you for, Giles told them. Buffy let out a long breath, trying to dispel her anger. Okay, even if you guys did screw up, it was a good idea, I admit it. But no more playing hero, okay? Next time we all go in together, as one big team, and we make sure we get the job done. The rest of them nodded their assent. Pike, you head on over to the hospital. Make sure Rachels okay and tell Shelley we might need that bow of hers again. He nodded, squeezing Buffy on the shoulder as he headed out. Ill call as soon as Im there, he assured her, exiting Daisys apartment. Buffy turned to her Watcher. Giles, you, Daisy, and Valeria get the spell ready. Were gonna do this tonight. She looked at Daisy. And no getting on line. Well need the phone line open. Right, Daisy answered sheepishly. That leaves, me, Xander and Faith to go after Spike and Angelus. Now, from what you guys said, Spikes already hurt. Hell heal fast but that should give us an edge. We find them, we all move in on Spike. Forget Angelus. We kill Spike. Then Xander, you call Daisy and have her throw the spell. Got it? Sounds good, Xander agreed. Buffy, Giles spoke up, I dont have to tell you to be careful. Then dont, she replied. Giles shook his head. Theyll be on their guard, and angry. Waiting for you.
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Good, Buffy responded. Because Im ready for them both. Ive waited long enough to kill Spike. His life ends tonight, we get Angel back, and thats the end of this. Giles nodded, pleased and impressed by Buffys determination. I couldnt be more proud of her if she were my own daughter. Happy hunting, was all he said. Buffy grabbed one of the black canvas bags that Faith and Xander had loaded at Giles apartment and told them, Come on, lets go. Um, Buff? Xander questioned. She stared at him. That ones full of books. Might wanna try another bag. Buffy nodded, dropped the duffel bag, and grabbed another one. She arched an eyebrow at Xander, who nodded in response. Now, lets go, she announced. Well take Ozs van. Just big enough to carry a captive in. I thought we were gonna kill Spike, Faith ventured. We are, Buffy confirmed. But we have to have some way to get Angel back to L.A. once hes better.
*
So thats where they went, Angelus muttered, peering through the wide slat between two posts of a high wooden fence. The owner of the house had protested when the two strange gentlemen had entered his yard, but hed soon quieted down after theyd drained his blood. Angelus nodded to himself as Pike made his way down the steps to his van and headed off for parts unknown. Spike sat slumped against the fence, still grimacing. Christ, this hurts, he groaned. Feeding didnt help much. Didnt do much for my splitting headache, either., Angelus commiserated. But youll heal. I wont be all that good in a fight till I do, Spike groused. Angelus considered him a moment. Dont worry about it. Were not gonna do any heavy duty combat tonight if I can help it. Well thin their ranks a little bit and hide out during the day somewhere. By tomorrow night youll be in better shape. Might I suggest moving away from your old mansion? After tonight theyll be pissed enough to try looking there, Id bet. Spike fingered the puncture wound on his arm, scowling as he probed it. Leave it alone, Angelus told him. Itll never heal if you keep poking at it. He sighed, returning to his watch in the third floor apartment. I guess you have a point. Buffy is gonna be maddern hell at me. He chuckled at that thought. Shell probably hit the mansion just to be safe. Okay, where do you suggest? They tore down the old factory, Spike complained. I dunno... a nice mausoleum would do, maybe? He shrugged. Thats the first place theyd look, Angelus reminded him. Yeah, but theres a lot of them, Spike rejoined. Angelus shook his head. I dont know, Spike. Id really rather not be someplace with no room to maneuver and have Buffy and Faith kick the door down in the middle of a sunny day
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shooting holy water at us. He looked down at Spike, who continued to examine his wound. At you, anyway. Im bettin they still want me in one piece. Spike nodded in agreement. Not a pretty picture you paint. He rose to his feet, shifting his long coat so that it covered his injury. Alright, how about Buffys mums gallery? Its a public place, so we can get in, and it has the bonus that we get to kill Mrs. Slayer in the morning when she pops in for work. Angelus nodded, a smile creasing his demonic features. I like it, Spike. I like it a lot. Suddenly he tensed. Get ready, here they come. What, now? Spike queried. I thought this was supposed to be a reconnaissance trip, find out where they were hidin. It was, but it looks like theyve... Angelus trailed off as Xander climbed into an old blue van. Faith slid in the passengers door, leaving it open for Buffy. The blonde Slayer paused, looking around, and for a wild moment Angelus was sure her Slayer sense had detected them. And much as Id love it, we are not up for that fight just yet. But Buffy shrugged and entered the van. Angelus stood stock still as the old vehicle rumbled to life, and then watched with a smile as they drove away. So who have we got left? he asked Spike, who raised an eyebrow. Buffy, Faith, and Xander just took off, Angelus told him, and Pike before them. And you either killed Rachel or put her in the hospital -- She tasted foul, Spike commented. Like something was wrong with her blood or something. Shes fine, Angelus confirmed. Trust me, Id know. He shook his head. Anyway, that leaves Shelley, Giles, and our vampire girl with a soul, Valeria. Think we can take them? That lot, yes, Spike agreed. Even with this bloody gimpy arm of mine. He looked at Angelus. How dyou propose we get to them, that bein a private residence and all? Angelus infernal features split into an evil smile, devoid of any mirth. I think I know just the trick.
*
How you feelin? Pike asked, holding Shelleys hand, leaning over Rachel. The dark-haired woman smiled weakly. Just great, she answered faintly. Considering Spike freakin bit me. He didnt take too much blood, Shelly told Pike. Pike nodded and patted Rachel on the hand. Other than that, you look okay, he assured her. I look like shit, Pike, Rachel rejoined, her voice barely more than a whisper. I lost a pint of blood. I look like one of them. No you dont, Shelly told her. You look a little pale, but thats to be expected, Rachel. Youll be fine -- the doctor even said so. Rachel frowned up at them. So what are you guys gonna do? Were gonna stay here with you, Shelley answered. This is a public place. We have to make sure youre safe. You have to help Buffy get them, Rachel managed. Thats why we came. Forget about me. You have to help them get Angel back. We will, Pike agreed. Just as soon as were sure youre safe.
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Pike, Shelley spoke to him, her voice carrying a warning; but he kept his eyes on Rachel, who nodded drowsily in response and slipped off to sleep. Pike and Shelley moved away from the bed so as not to awaken her. Theyre going to call us if they need us, Pike informed her. Buffy, Faith, and Xander are out looking for them. Daisy and Giles and that vampire girl with the soul Willow told us about are setting up the spell. All they have to do is kill Spike, which the three of them can manage. I dont think theyll need us, but were here in case they do. Shelley bit her lip. I want to help them, but I dont like leaving Rachel alone. This is a public place, Pike. They can get to her. Pike gestured toward his backpack. We have enough stuff in there for a warding spell, he told Shelley. I can make the room vampire proof. It wouldnt take long. What if someone invites them in? Shelley wondered. Like who? Rachels not gonna. I dont know, Shelly admitted. Another patient, the nurse maybe, who knows? She clasped his hand. Its too dangerous. Pike closed his eyes a minute, deep in thought. Youre right, he assented after a pause. Okay, heres what we do. Ill throw the warding spell anyway. It couldnt hurt. Then if Buffy calls, you go, and Ill stay here. You cant hold off those two vampires by yourself, Shelley pointed out. Pike, theyre both kings. Theyll tear you apart. If they get in, Pike concurred. Which Im not gonna let happen, if I can help it. Between the warding spell, and this, he told her, opening the bag to show her a crossbow pistol, I should be able to convince them to stay away. I dont like this, Shelley spoke. Its too risky. Shell, Pike assured her, theyre probably not even gonna show here. Were not the targets tonight -- Buffy is. They probably think they took Rachel out of the game, and you and me along with her. Angel knows us, he knows how we think. He knows well be here guarding her. He wont waste his time on us -- hell go straight for Buffy if he can. Were not important enough to him. Shelley glared at Pike. Not that Im complaining about that, cause right now, Im pretty thankful thats the case. But it frees one of us up to help out Buffy. He took Shelleys hand. Me, Im not that much of a fighter. I can hold my own, but usually I need to cheat a little. You, Shell, you-- Dont even think of saying Im a match for a vampire, especially either one of them. Im good, Pike, but Im not that good. Yeah, he agreed, taking her other hand, but youre hell with that bow. That kind of sneaky edge might come in handy when they really need it. Shelley nodded. I guess so. I know so, Pike said, leaning in to kiss her. And you know it too.
*
Well, scratch that, Buffy grumbled, staring out the window at the ruins of the old factory Spike once used as his hideout. They cant be in there. Xander glanced over at Buffy and back at Faith. Any other ideas? he asked quietly. Both Slayers had been on edge all evening -- Buffy was anxious to find Angel and Faith wanted
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to make up for letting Angelus slip through her hands earlier. Both of them remained mostly quiet, watching the surroundings with wide eyes and a sense they possessed but Xander didnt; theyd spotted a small group of vampires earlier and it hadnt been pretty. Pent-up anger and frustration had lent both women an edge they didnt normally employ, and the group of vampires hadnt even known what had hit them. But since then, nothing, and it was getting later than any of them were comfortable with. Where the hell are they? Faith growled. We tried the factory. Willys burned up in a fire. Theres still a ton of mausoleums they could be hidin out in, or -- Buffy turned to Xander. What about the mansion? Xander raised an eyebrow. You think he would? I think Angelus is just perverse enough to, Buffy remarked. Xander took the big blue van out of park and headed off out of the industrial area of town, not far from the docks, and turned north, staying near the water. The mansion had once been in the more prosperous part of town, but time and the development of the North Downs had rendered it merely a testament to where the old money of Sunnydale used to congregate. Now most of the larger houses stood vacant, perfect squatting places for the undead; and Angel had lived there for a few years when he had been in Sunnydale toward the end of Buffys time in high school. The three of them stayed quiet during the ride, preferring to confront their inner thoughts rather than one another. But at last Xander pulled the van up to the curb near the wide expanse of overgrown shrubs that dotted the outer boundary of the mansion, and the three of them exited the vehicle. Angel had liked the shrubs wild; theyd afforded him greatly desired privacy. Buffy soon found a gap in the underbrush and led the trio to the door of the mansion. This feels familiar, Faith mumbled as the peeked inside the darkened windows. Last time we were here together, you thought Angel had lost his soul, Buffy reminded her. I wish we were pretending now, Xander put in. Buffy nodded in agreement. I dont think anyones here. I dont feel anyone inside. Xander and Faith exchanged glances with her. Next move? Faith asked. Buffy drew a stake and turned to the door, sending it spinning off its hinges with a wellplaced kick. The three of them burst inside, stakes ready, but no one greeted them. For a moment Buffy thought it might be a trick, or a trap, that they had left the lights out to ambush her. But after a moment Faith said, Place is empty, B. Buffy frowned. Dammit. But they were here, Xander pointed out, gesturing to the trails their feet had made in the dust that had collected in this place. A few paper bags littered the floor near a dingy coffee table, and something still glistened where they had spilled it on the floor. Buffy worried that it might be blood, but Faith shook her head when she bent to inspect it. Some kinda oil, maybe, she announced. Something slick. Xander moved over to her and bent down, sticking his finger in the gelid spill and sniffing it. If I didnt know better, and I wouldnt if I hadnt been soldier-guy, Id think Spike and Angel were busy making home-made nitro-glycerin. Faith nodded, standing up. Thatd explain the car going up in a ball of fire. And knocking us on our asses, Xander added. Is there any left? Buffy wondered. Xander made a cursory search. Not unless theyre hiding it. They must have put it all in the car with them.
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Buffy nodded. Yay that they dont have any more of it, but what were they gonna do with this stuff? Blow up Giles place? Thats a good bet, Xander surmised. Kill a lotta people that way, Faith offered. In theory, anyway. And stop us from throwing that spell on Angel. Buffy slid her hands on her hips. First the magic store, then Giles place. That makes sense, I guess, if your main goal is stopping us with that spell. So whatll they do now? Go get more stuff? Thatd take too long without a car, Xander observed. By the time they got the stuff, got back here to mix it-- They could steal another car, Faith pointed out. Guys, Buffy said, the key thing here is the spell. They dont know about Daisy. They think Giles is gonna cast it, because Angel knows Willow left for L.A. So theyll be looking for him. Theyll never find him, Xander told her. Even if Angel does remember Daisy, he doesnt know where she lives, she said it herself. Faith shrugged. Unless he trailed us after the fight at Giles place. Buffy felt a chill go down her spine. Phone, she snapped. Xander moved to her and handed her the cell phone. Buffy impatiently typed in Daisys number, looking at Xander as the line continued to ring and ring without answer. Shit, she swore after the seventh ring. Lets go! Now! And she raced out through the open door, crashing through the bushes, Faith right behind her and Xander trailing the two of them. Get us back to Daisys now, Buffy told Xander as he fished the keys out of his pocket. She flipped open the phone once more as he unlocked the van and the three of them climbed in. Shelley? Buffy spoke into the phone as Xander started the van and took off, flooring the gas. We need you guys, now.
*
Daisy leapt up at the knock on the door. Who is it? she asked, brown eyes wide, glancing over her shoulder at Giles and Valeria as they finished lighting the protective circle of candles for the spell. Its Angel, the vampire rasped from the other side of the door. I have to speak to Valeria, now. Valeria rose to her feet, staring at the door. Angel? Be careful, Giles counseled her. It could be a ruse. Valeria? came the reply from outside, shaky, uncertain. Angel, she breathed, rushing to the door. She went for the handle, but Daisy wouldnt surrender it. Valeria, hes tryin to kill me, the old vampire told her. Spike. We had a fight and I injured him, but hes comin after me. You guys have to help me. He wants me dead. Valeria closed her eyes. Angel, just stay there. Dont move. Well come outside and help you. No we wont, Giles told her. This feels like a terrible trick. Were not leaving this place. They cant come in, so we should be safe in here.
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At least let me see him, Valeria begged. Its too dangerous, Giles warned her. He turned his attention to Daisy. If hes really out there alone, we could throw the spell and restore his soul. Daisy glanced at the circle awaiting her and closed her eyes. I dont know that I can perform the spell in a hurry. This may be our best chance, Giles told her. Try. She nodded, moving away from the door and taking her place at the center of the circle. She sat down cross-legged, palms facing upward, resting on her knees, her features gaining a look of rapt intensity as she stared at the orb of Thessalia. She leaned over and gazed at the sheet of paper that rested in front of her, the one with the words for the restoration spell that she had used to return Valerias soul. Nici mort, Daisy read. Nici al finitei, Te invoc, spirital trecerii. Reda trupuli ce separa omul de animal! Valeria! came the desperate cry from the other side of the door. Spikes here! Hes coming after me with a gun. Help me! No! Giles spoke, moving to the door, blocking it so that Valeria couldnt open it. In another minute, well open this door and drag him in here and wait for Buffy to return. But not yet -- not while he is Angelus. But hell die! Valeria argued. Outside, two shots sounded into the night, and a body slumped against the door. Daisy looked up, but Giles motioned for her to continue her chanting. She took a deep breath and continued reading, heartened by the glow that began to spread across the surface of the orb, flickering back and forth. Spike, the older vampire cried out on the other side of the door. No! Dont! Put that stake down. Spike! Valeria grabbed Giles roughly on the shoulder and thrust him aside; he tried to resist her with all his might, but he was no match for a frightened vampire. Valeria, dont! he managed to blurt out before she sent him to the floor. She grabbed the doorknob and wrenched the door open, snapping the chain-guard lock off its mount, only to see Angel on the ground, cowering, and Spike coming toward him, a jagged piece of wood raised high. Angel! Valeria gasped. Come in! Quick! The dark-haired vampire rolled inside the doorway; Spike started after him but was rebuffed by the invisible barrier. The pale-haired vampire staggered back, scowling. Ill get you! he snarled. Giles grabbed the huge cross that Payne had kept among her belongings and held it up. Get out, Angelus. Leave now! The dark vampire rose to his feet. Daisy had nearly finished her chant; the orb pulsated wildly with the magic coursing through it. His dark eyes widened slightly, and he pulled Valeria to him, kissing her. I owe you one, sweetie, he told her, thrusting her in Daisys direction. Valeria stumbled over the orb and fell on top of Daisy, knocking over several of the candles in the protective circle. The orb rolled off its pillow and ceased glowing at once. Giles moved toward Angelus. Out, unclean thing! Do not defile this place! Angelus shrugged. But she invited me in. Giles held the cross up at him, and Angelus staggered back. Why dont you come on in, Spike? he asked. Be happy to, mate, Spike agreed, grinning, his demonic features creasing horribly, his yellow eyes alive with mirth.
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No! Giles gasped. Angelus grabbed a chair and swiped at Giles arm with it. Say goodnight, Rupert, he spat, snapping Giles elbow with the chair leg and forcing the Watcher to drop the enchanted cross. Angel, no! Valeria cried out, getting up. What are you doing? Angel revealed his hunting face. You really should have listened to Giles, he told her, snapping off one of the other legs of the chair. He was right. It was a trick. Damn you! Giles cursed him from the floor, holding his arm. Too late for that, Angelus smiled. Spike moved toward Giles, but Angelus stopped him. You take the witch, he advised Spike. Ruperts mine. I wont tell you anything, Giles assured him. Angelus shrugged. Doesnt make any difference. Angel, Valeria whispered, please, Angel, we can help you. We can give you your soul back. You and I, we could be together. Please, Angel, stop this. I beg you. He tilted his head. A tempting offer, he told her, smiling, but no. He raised the makeshift stake and stabbed her, driving the wood through her heart. Valeria burst into a cloud of dust. Your turn, Angelus told Giles. Youll have to kill me before I help you with anything, Giles spoke. Thats the idea, Spike tossed over his shoulder. Daisy began to weave a protective spell about her, but Spike reached in and slapped her hard across the face; stunned by the blow, she offered no resistance when he brushed her hair aside and bit her throat. You bastards, Giles growled. Buffy will kill you for this. Shes welcome to try, Angelus grinned as he closed in on Giles. Dear God, Giles murmured as the vampire sank his teeth deep into his flesh. Dear God, please, protect Buffy... Moments later Angelus dropped him to the ground, drained of blood. He wiped his mouth and turned to Spike. You ready? Spike nodded. I feel better already. Angelus bent over and picked up the orb of Thessalia. Wont be needing this, he remarked, dropping it from shoulder height, chuckling as the glass ball broke into a hundred shards on the floor. Then he picked up the sheet of paper with the Romany curse printed on it and crumpled it up, stuffing the ball into his pocket. The two vampires slipped out the door and into the night just as the phone began to ring.
*
Xander had barely stopped the van when Buffy vaulted out the passengers side door, racing up the stairs three at a time, fate-enhanced muscles propelling her against gravitys pull at an enviable rate. Xander killed the van and pulled the keys out of the ignition, following Buffy. Fate passed him on the way to the stairs and leapt up them the same as Buffy had, pulling a stake as she rounded the second story landing and racing after Buffy as the older Slayer reached Daisys doorway. Faiths legs churned as she flew up the last flight of stairs. But she stopped as she reached the top landing, brought to a halt as Buffy fell to her knees and cried out wordlessly,
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a howl of grief and loss and pain unlike anything Faith had ever heard. She shook her head. No, she said softly. We cant be too late. No. Xander pushed past her and rushed to Buffys side; but he stopped short as he saw past the open door to where Daisy lay, sprawled across the floor, her head lolled to one side, the wound on her neck clearly visible. Near her lay the shards of the orb, lifeless amber bits of glass now, and a few candles continued to sputter behind her. Oh, God, Xander moaned, sinking down next to Buffy, who lay doubled over, crying. Buff, well get another orb. Well get him back for you, I promise, well-- And then he looked up and say the lifeless body of Rupert Giles, eyes wide open, staring at nothing, the puncture wounds licked clean of any blood whatsoever. Xander closed his eyes, trying to fight back his tears, and slid an arm around Buffy. No, he managed to groan. Jesus, no... Faith came up behind them, dark eyes wide, and saw the carnage. The stake dropped from her hand, clattering on the wooden landing. G, she moaned, moving past Buffy and Xander and approaching Giles, kneeling down over his body. Gingerly she felt the puncture wounds; she jerked her hand back as if she had been stung and turned back to Buffy. He did this, she breathed, tears streaming down her face. Faith, Xander muttered, we know who did it. Buffy shook her head. No, she cried. No! This isnt happening. Oh, God, please let this not be happening! Xander clutched her to him, and for a long moment Buffy let herself cry into his chest. But she broke away from him and rose up slowly, stiffly, and staggered over to where Giles lay. She bent down and closed his eyes, letting her hand linger on his cheek a moment, noting how now, with his eyes closed, he looked merely asleep, and not dead. Tears fell freely down her face, dripping to her breast, as she leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. Faith stood up, moving back away from Giles, back out of the apartment and out onto the landing next to Xander. He glanced up at her, wiping away his tears, and noticed she wept too, sobbing, like Buffy. He looked back at Buffy, who still lingered over Giles. How am I gonna go on without you? she whispered, wet hazel eyes staring down at him. How can I even...? She broke off the question, sobbing aloud, and Xander went to her, holding her. She wrapped a hand around one of his and squeezed it; he put his other arm around her and she gripped that too, rocking back and forth as she cried, the anguish filling her up and taking possession of her, that this man who had given so much and devoted his life to her, and loved her, that he lay dead at her feet. Tears fell as Buffy blinked, landing on Giles cheek. I loved you too, she breathed, raggedly, as she began to sob again, her cries cutting through Xander, awash in his own grief. For a while they sat hunched there, drawing what comfort they could from one another, commingled in pain, their thoughts dwelling on Giles and all that he had done for them and wondering how they would carry on without him. After some time had passed, Xander straightened a little and caught his breath, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. Buffy, he croaked. She seemed not to hear him, still leaning over her Watcher. Buffy, he managed again. Her head barely twitched in response, the slightest of motions. Itll be dawn soon. We have to go. We have to-- No! she agonized, her voice breaking on the short syllable.
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Buffy, Xander said, his voice shaky. We have to take care of his body. And Daisys. And we have to find the son of a bitch and put a stake in him. Buffy began to sob again, a fresh bout of tears, moans and whimpers of pain issuing from her. Xander wrapped his arms around her, wishing he could for even a single moment lessen the ache inside her. They stayed bundled together like that a long while more, until Buffy finally caught her breath and managed to stop her tears for a moment. Lets get his body down to the van, she suggested unsteadily. I dont want the goddamn police touching him. Xander nodded, kissing her on the cheek. Ill get Faith to help us, he said. Slowly he disengaged himself from Buffy and rose up, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He turned to ask the dark Slayer for some assistance. Faith was gone.
*
Shes asleep, Xander announced, his voice low and ragged, closing the bedroom door silently behind him. Shelley nodded. And you have no idea where Faith went? Xander shook his head. Nope. Didnt even hear her head down the stairs. Which, I mean, I should have, you know, I... Pike put a hand on his shoulder. Easy, buddy, the older man said. You kinda had other things on your mind at the time. Xander nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. I dunno, I mean... what are we gonna do now? With Giles dead, that changes everything, you know? He was more than her Watcher. He was like her dad... He choked up, and Shelley went to him, holding him, steadying him. After a minute Xander snuffled loudly and backed away from her. Im okay, he managed. No youre not, Pike told him. This is hittin you pretty hard too. You dont have to be the man of steel here, Xander. Take a seat and just let it out. Xander nodded and exhaled, a heavy breath, and set his head in his hands. I have to keep it together, for her, he mumbled. Buffy needs me more than ever right now, and I just cant go off like Faith and do... He shrugged. Whatever shes doing. I just cant. I cant lose it. I gotta be here for her, so she can lose it. Pike sat next to him on the couch. What can we do to help? Rachels safe enough during the day. There arent any tunnels that connect with the hospital. No way for those guys to get at her. And unlike you, we got at least a little sleep last night. So were yours until sundown. Pike sighed. So, you name it. Anything. Xander nodded, considering their offer, snuffling again as the tears hit him. You could kill Angel, for starters. Shelley blinked. This isnt Angels doing, she spoke. That thing isnt him. Xander shook his head. We dont have an orb. We dont have any magic people left. Its just me and Buffy and we have to solve things our way now. Just me and her against the big bad out there. You have us, Shelley reminded him. Can either one of you guys throw spells? Xander croaked. Shelley shook her head. Easy ones, Pike admitted. Really simple stuff. Nothing complicated, and nothing like that restoration spell.
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Which we dont have any more, Xander pointed out. They took that with them, too. Giles must have kept a backup copy, Shelley remarked. He was too thorough not to have one. Xander shook his head. We dont have the time to look for it. Buffy and I wouldnt know what to look for, and... he trailed off, looking up at them. And hes gonna come finish the job tonight. He hurt us, and now hes gonna come back and kill us. Xander frowned. Or just me. The goal here is to hurt Buffy. He doesnt give a shit about me. Shelley crouched, taking Xanders hand. Thats not gonna happen. We wont let it. Xander, Pike and I are here. Well do everything we can to help you. Well fight alongside you and Buffy, we promise. Well do whatever it takes to keep everybody alive from here on out. No more deaths. No more pain. Xander closed his eyes, a tear sliding down one cheek. There is one thing you can do, he told them. Name it, Pike urged. Find Faith. Were gonna need her. And there is no way I am goin anywhere today. This is as far as I get from Buffy for the rest of my goddamn life. He wiped his noise, glancing at the bedroom door, and then he began to cry again. Xander, Pike spoke gently, go get some sleep. You need it, and you wont be any good to anyone if youre a zombie. Go get some rest and me and Shelley will hold down the fort. Xander glanced at them both. You sure? Positive, Shelley assured him. Xander nodded and rose haltingly, stiffly, telling them, Thanks. Then he headed off to the bedroom, quietly opening the door and shutting it again, joining Buffy on the bed. Shelley let out a long breath and ran a hand through her hair. What are we gonna do, Pike? Weve never had to deal with Angelus, only Angel. We dont know him like they do. Pike sighed. He killed Giles, Shell. Thats a big one. I dont know if they can forgive him that. You mean theyre gonna kill him? Shelley asked, her brow furrowing. I mean its completely up to them. Buffy makes the decision on this one, we back her up. Shes the one who was closest to him, shes the one who Angels after, shes the one who has to make that decision. I wouldnt even if we could. Shelley nodded, slipping into his arms and holding him tight. I hate this, she whispered to him. I hate that he turned evil, I hate that hes such a bloodthirsty killer, I hate that people have to die to make him happy. If we just couldve caught him last night, before anyone got hurt- I know, Pike agreed, rubbing her back. I know. Shelley rested her head on his shoulder. So what do we do now? He kissed her forehead. You go look for Faith. She regarded him. What are you going to do? Pike met her wide brown eyes. I believe in options, Shell. You know that. They wanna kill Angel, thats Buffys call. But she should have the choice in case she wants it. Shelley frowned, not understanding. Who gave him his soul back the first time? he wondered. She shook her head. Youre not!
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She finds out what happened, you think shes gonna be able to stay in L.A.? You think anything short of death is gonna keep her away from here? Shelley nodded. Youre right, youre right. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Come on, lets go. We both have a lot of driving to do. Pike scooped up Xanders car keys. Ill take Ozs van. You take ours. Ill call you when were on the road back down here. Be careful, she spoke, kissing him on the lips. You be careful, he replied. Youre the one wholl be dealing with a crazed Slayer.
*
Faith jerked awake, blinking in the sunlight, shielding her eyes from the warm afternoon rays streaming through the window. She glanced around for a moment, unsure of her surroundings, wondering how shed come to fall asleep on the floor of a musty old house, when it all came flooding back to her, what had happened last night, and where she was, and why she had torn the drapes off all the windows and ripped off all the shutters and broken down all the doors. She sat up in the middle of a wide pool of sunlight and shook out her hair, yawning. The mansion felt dead and empty in the daytime, and she stood up, stretching, glancing around. But nothing had been disturbed since she had drifted off earlier this morning. They didnt come home last night, she realized. Faith blinked a few more times and moved out of the glare of the sunshine, taking a seat in a chair with a white canvas tarp covering it. Okay, so you found a new hiding spot, she muttered, leaning back in the chair, surprised when the footrest popped up. She eased it back down, sitting on the edge of the seat. I get too comfortable, Ill sleep half the day. Or worse, till after dark. She scratched at her nose and looked around the place again. After a moment she stood up. Not here and not comin back because you know were on to you, Faith grumbled. God, I would so love to catch you assholes today, drag both your pale dead asses out into the sunlight and watch you burn up. You deserve a lot worse than that, but thats the worst I could do to you. Painful way to go. She stood up, her boots echoing as she walked across the floor, heading for the nearest door. She stopped as she reached the frame and turned to look back inside the mansion, her eyes taking in the huge, empty room. You tried to save me here once, Angel. You told me how killing would just eat me alive, how if I kept crossing that line Id disappear somewhere. And now you went and killed Giles. G was the one guy who believed in me. He was gonna be my Watcher. Finally someone was gonna put me at the center of their life. And you fucked that all up. You took him away, killed him, just so you could make Buffy cry. Just so you could hurt us. Didnt have the balls to come after us -- after me. You had to go for the weak guys, the ones who couldnt hurt you back, you bastard... Faith wiped the tear that had escaped her eye and took a long, deep breath. Now I got no one to train me, I got no place to go, no place to stay... She closed her eyes, shaking her head. The one thing I actually was gonna have goin for me in my life, and you fuckin take it away. And for what? They were gonna help you, you asshole. They were gonna make you whole again, like they helped me. But you hadda go and do this... She kicked at the door frame. I hate you for this, Angel. For what you did to me. For what you did to B, and Xander. She exhaled heavily and shook her head. You think Im gonna
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wait until they find another onea those globes and make you a good guy again? She snuffled. No fuckin way, Angel. No fuckin way. You die for this. You get dusted. Because Ill be damned if I give you your soul back and worry for the rest of my life if this is gonna happen again, wonder if I can trust you again. I already know I cant. She turned away from the mansion and walked outside, stuffing her hands in her pockets. Im gonna miss you, G. I know a lot of people who died, but none of them hurt like this since Ethan. I didnt think I even cared about you this much. But you were gonna train me, work with me, even after all the shit Ive done to you and B. That means something, you know? Means a lot. And Im not gonna let them off the hook for this. Ill get em for you. I swear it, I-Her musings were interrupted by the sound of a car horn. Faith looked up to see a slender blonde woman step out of a dingy van. At first she thought it was Buffy, but this woman was a little taller, with wavier hair. Faith! she called out. Faith folded her arms. Shelley, she replied. What are you doin here? Lookin for you, Shelley admitted. You found me, Faith spoke. Shelley set her hands on her hips. Buffy and Xander are worried about you. They asked me to look for you. Why? Faith wondered. Because they care about you, Shelley answered her. They want to know that youre okay. Faith shook her head. No, she told Shelley, Im not gonna be okay for a long fuckin time.
*
Xander woke up suddenly, sweat covering his brow. His dark eyes popped open, and he looked around the darkened room. Bad dream, he realized as the vampires that had chased him only moments ago vanished into his memory. He rolled over on one side to gaze at Buffy. She still slept soundly, mouth parted, snoring. Her eyes raced back and forth underneath closed lids, and Xander wondered what she saw. He considered waking her, especially if her dreams were anything like his had been; but Buffy occasionally had prophetic visions, and right at the moment they could use one, a sign, something to help them. With Giles dead and Angelus still on the loose... Xander wiped his forehead. Has it ever been this bad? Okay, I mean, its not the end of the world, literally, weve been there, almost, but... things are pretty bad. He could hear muffled voices from the living room, but he couldnt tell who. That was a good sign; that meant that Shelley probably had come back, and if she had, shed probably found Faith. Once again Xander moved to wake Buffy, but he stopped just short of shaking her shoulder. Instead he sat up, watching her sleep. Her eyes still flicked back and forth, but the rest of her remained peaceful, hair askew, breast rising and falling beneath the white tank top. Xander had always considered Buffy beautiful, from the first second he had laid eyes on her; but now after living with her for two years, he had seen her first thing in the morning, late at night when she was too exhausted to keep her eyes open, sick as a dog with the flu, and even hung over. Hed seen the very worst that Buffy could be, angry, mean, frustrated, worried, afraid ... and none of it mattered to him in the least. He knew as he watched her sleep that he would never love anyone again in his life the way he loved Buffy Summers. Id make you Buffy Harris if youd let me, he told her silently, brushing a strand of hair away from her cheek. She stirred but did not
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awaken. Can you believe I can even think that? he asked her wordlessly. Thats how much I love you. Id wear a monkey suit and let you smear cake all over my face. He leaned down and touched his lips lightly to her shoulder, savoring the warmth of her skin. And I dont care how long it would last, he continued, smiling as she issued a particularly loud snore. I mean, I know Id never leave you, Id never get tired of you, ever, it just couldnt happen. But youre the Slayer, and every time I see you could be the last time. I know that. I know the gig. And I dont care. I dont care that every demon, every vampire, every groovie ghoulie on the planet would be gunning for you. Because as long as I got to stand next to you, it would be okay. Id be cool with the whole Slayer bit, all of it. You know that, dont you? Hell, maybe I could even learn some stuff, try to be like your Watcher... He thought of Giles and felt the ache of loss well up inside him again. Shes gonna take a long time getting over him. Hell, Im gonna take a long time getting over him. He was like a dad for all of us, in a lotta ways. And now were on our own. He snuffled, trying not to cry again. Then Buffy took a long, shuddering breath, and her eyes opened. Giles... she murmured, rolling over to look at Xander. She reached down and took his hand. Please tell me that was all a dream, that hes still alive, she whispered. Xander shook his head. I wish I could, he told her softly. Buffy nodded, her eyes going wet. Could you do me a favor? she wondered. Xander nodded. Anything. Literally. Buffy gave him a little smile, but the rest of her face was clouded with pain. He felt a tear escape his eye and slip down his cheek, that he couldnt erase that pain inside her, no matter what he did, no matter how much he loved her. Only time could do that; and maybe not even time. Could you check on Giles... she gestured with her hand, but she started to cry before she got the rest of the question out. Xander held her, pressing her face to his chest as she continued to weep, wrapping himself around her, comforting her. She pressed her lips to his bare chest, kissing him through the tears. Can you check without me? she managed, sniffling. I dont think I could... Of course, he assured her, kissing her forehead. Of course. He held her close to him. Buffy sighed, blinking away her tears, wiping them on his flesh. Xander slid his arms away from her, moving to disengage from her so he could check on Giles corpse. They had worried that Angelus hadnt been satisfied with killing Giles and Daisy, that he would make them vampires. Theyd put the bodies in the storage area, just like Payne, one to a cell. Buffy had broken down more than once while Xander and Shelley had managed the task, and Xander had found it hard going, the most difficult thing hed ever had to do in a life filled with unpleasantries. But they simply couldnt take the chance that Angelus had been considerate enough just to kill them. Turning them into undead would certainly serve his purposes, and upset Buffy further. Where are you going? she mumbled, sad eyes looking up at him. I was gonna go check on... he trailed off, jerking a thumb toward the door. Not now, Buffy whispered, rolling him on his back and laying her head on his chest. I dont want you where I cant touch you right now. She sighed, closing her eyes. Xander slid an arm around her shoulders and craned his head to kiss her on the top of her head; but to his surprise Buffy tilted her head back and met his lips with hers, kissing him needily. He pulled back, a little surprised, and Buffy stared into his eyes. What? he wondered.
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She exhaled, frowning. Its just... I know, he told her, cradling her to him. I know, Buff. She slid over and kissed his chest. Everything has been so ugly the last couple of days. One horrible thing after another. She met his eyes. And now this. The worst thing that could happen, and I just dont know if I can-- Shhh, Xander urged her. It could have been worse. It was bad, Im with you, but it could have been worse. It could have been you. Buffy nodded. You really know how to cheer me up, she croaked, trying not to cry. Buffy, Im sure Giles would have given his life gladly if he thought it would save yours. Xander sighed. I know I would. Without thinking. Buffy raised up on her elbows, looking down at him. I love you for that, she told him, starting to cry again. He pulled her to his chest again, savoring the warmth of her slender body against his. After a long while she looked up at him. Xand? He nodded, meeting her gaze. If Im gonna make it through this -- sane, anyway -- its because of you. Buffy, he whispered, shaking his head. She kissed him, sliding her arms behind his head and pressing her tongue to his. I mean it, she breathed when they parted. I cant do this alone anymore. Not after this. Im gonna need you around more than ever. He nodded. Voice thick with emotion, he answered, Im not goin anywhere. Ever. She kissed him again. You better not, she told him, trying to smile. Buff, I-- She shook her head, pressing a finger to his lips. Show me, dont tell me. I could really use a little piece of beauty in my life right about now. Xander kissed her, suddenly hungry for her, running his hands down her back, caressing her. Buffy reached down and peeled off her tank top, dropping it over the side of the bed, and pressed herself to him, blocking out everything else in her world, in her life, and focusing entirely on the man who lay beneath her, whose heartbeat she could feel, who loved her without question and without limit.
*
We were just startin to worry about you guys, Faith remarked as Buffy and Xander emerged from the bedroom, holding hands. Faith had showered and changed into a dark buttondown long-sleeve shirt and black leather jeans. She sat barefoot in the windowsill, her hair still slightly damp. We needed to talk, Buffy muttered. Thanks for holding down the fort while we slept. Faiths dark eyes flicked from Xander to Buffy, and one corner of her mouth curled up in a grin; but she only offered, Gotcha covered, B. Shelley, Xander greeted her in an attempt to change the topic, whats goin on? Shelley looked up from her laptop. Pikes on his way here. With a little help. She looked at her watch. Matter of fact, he should be here shortly. Good, Buffy noted. Im gonna take a shower. Ill see you guys in a few. She turned to Xander, kissed him, and moved into the bathroom. Xander sat down on the couch, a little awkwardly, embarrassed that they knew that he and Buffy had been doing more than just talking.
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You sure Giles fixed up this place before he...? Faith trailed off. Id hate like hell to find out the hard way that Angel still has visitation rights. Xander nodded. He blessed our place too. Some kind of barrier that revoked any vampire wed ever invited in. Xander shook his head. It was one of the last things he did. Shelley shook her head. Dont start thinking like that. Not yet. What? Xander queried. Hes dead. Theres nothing I can do about that. I cant pretend it didnt happen. I wish I could. Im not saying you should, Shelley agreed. But we can grieve after weve settled all this, when everything is put back right again. Gs dead, Faith snapped, anger in her tone. Thingsll never be right again. Shes got a point, Xander concurred, his voice soft, sad. Shelley sighed, realizing that nothing she could say at that moment could lessen their loss. Faith, Xander spoke, get your shoes on. We have to do something for Buffy and I need your help. Faith raised an eyebrow. We have to check on Giles... She nodded, hopping up from the window and grabbing her boots, slipping them on. Lets go. Xander turned to Shelley. Well be back in a few minutes. Shelley offered, You want me to come with you? Nah, Xander told her. No need to drag everybody down. Faith and I can handle it. Shelley nodded. Ill be right here. Faith and Xander stepped outside into the sunlight of the early evening. Be dark soon, he observed. We have some time, Faith assured him. Gs place isnt all that far away. We can check on him and be back before it gets dark. Xander led her to the van and opened the door; they slid in and he started the vehicle, backing out quickly and heading out into what passed for rush hour traffic in Sunnydale. They stayed silent on the drive over; Xander found himself filled with dread, fearing that he and Faith would descend the stairs and find Giles alive, his face contorted into a demonic mask, his eyes yellow and full of hate. Briefly Xander gave a thought to Daisy, hoping that she had been spared as well. Not really Angels style, Xander mused, to give us a break on anything, but maybe he just didnt want to spend the time turning them. Faith, meanwhile, stared out the window as the town passed by. She had almost begun to accept that this place would become home for her, that she would settle in someplace, finally, and start to make it her own. Now she wasnt so sure. Could I really stay here after Gs death? Would it make any sense? She glanced over at Xander, noting the way the grief still hung on his face like a mask. Sooner or later B and I would be at it again, I bet. And without G to play referee, well just start hatin each other again. Maybe I better think about leavin as soon as we get Spike and Angel. Xander found a parking space on the far end of the visitors area; most of those spaces at the Capeside were occupied by tenants who had been forced to use them after last nights deafening explosion had left a sizable crater in the normal parking area. Police still had the area cordoned off, though no one was there at the moment. Xander and Faith stopped for a moment to gawk at the huge hole in the ground, and the twisted wreckage of the DeSoto and the several cars
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on either side. Xander noted wryly that Giles little silver Beetle had survived the blast without a scratch. They moved on, heading toward the storage area. Xander had taken Buffys key; they had a spare in case Angel or Oz needed to be housed and Giles was not around. Wont have to worry about that any more, Xander mused as he opened the door and followed Faith down the stairs. Oz can control his wolf side now, and I can guarantee that Angel wont be visiting us ever again. He noted as they reached the landing that Faith drew a stake from her belt; she tilted her head in the direction of the holding pens, and the two of them made their way toward where Giles and Daisy hopefully still lay serenely. Daisys body reposed peacefully, hands folded over her breast, just as they had left her. Her long hair covered the wound on her neck, and she appeared to be slumbering placidly on the floor. Xander glanced at Faith and nodded and gestured to Giles pen. Giles too rested on his back, in exactly the same position as he had when they had left him that morning. The blanket they had used to cover him when they had moved him in -- so as to avoid attention from his neighbors, some of whom might have noticed two people carrying a dead body -- sat folded on the floor nearby. Xander looked at the Englishmans body for a long moment, shaking his head. Well get him back for you, Giles, Xander whispered. I promise. Damn right we will, Faith growled. She looked at Xander. I still think we shoulda brought holy water or something, just to be sure. He shook his head. If they were vamps, they wouldnt be lying there napping. Theyd be up looking for blood. Newborns are really stupid. They dont have this kind of control. Still, Faith countered. If hes just dead, a little water wouldnt hurt him any. Xander shrugged. Yeah, I guess so. He met her gaze. We can always come back tomorrow and give it a try. Unless he wakes up when its dark and breaks outta there. Then wed feel pretty stupid. Xander sighed. Hes not goin anywhere. He built those pens so even Angel couldnt get out of them. Even if he is a vamp -- and I doubt it -- hell still be here in the morning. Well take care of him then, if we have to. Like I said, though, he isnt. New vamps, they just dont lay there like that. You were there with Buffy when Payne woke up. You know the score. Yeah, Faith admitted reluctantly. Cmon, Xander enjoined her, I dont wanna hang here any longer than I have to. Lets go. Faith cast one last look at Giles body. Thanks anyway, she told him silently. I appreciate everything you wanted to do for me. Then she joined Xander as he made his way up the stairs and outside.
*
The sun had just begun to set when Xander and Faith returned to Buffys apartment. Xander opened the door and stopped stock still in the entryway. Whats up? Faith asked from behind him, unable to see around him. Willow, Xander told her. Oz. Hey. Hey man, Oz greeted Xander. Willow moved to him wordlessly and hugged him; shed been crying, he could tell. You heard about Giles? Xander asked. Willows head bobbed up and down. Im sorry, she mumbled.
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Im sorry too. He broke off the embrace and moved inside so Faith could enter. So what are you guys doin here, besides just provin that misery loves company? Xander! Buffy snapped. He held up his hands. Im glad theyre here, he told her. Hey, Pike, he added, greeting Shelleys boyfriend, who sat next to her at the dining room table. But I dont see what theyre... Xander trailed off, turning to Pike. You didnt. I did, Pike countered. Willow was even able to scare up an orb of Thessalia. Kinda tough on short notice, she supplied. Im bettin he took me for extra, but we really didnt have time to argue. Faith moved past Xander into the center of the room. Has everybody gone fuckin crazy, or am I hearin what I think Im hearin? She set her hands on her hips. Faith, Buffy told her, not now. No, B, Faith argued, right now. Cause I cant believe what Im hearin here. You guys are gonna give Angel back his soul after what he did to Giles? To Daisy? And Valeria, Xander added quietly. Whose side are you on? Buffy asked him. I didnt know there were sides to be on, he responded. Buffy glared at him. You cant be serious, B. Youre gonna give this guy his soul back again and just wait for this to happen to someone else? What if next time its you? Xander? Willow? Pretty soon hell be runnin out of targets. Faith, Buffy growled, this is my call and Im making it. We need Angel. I hate what he is now -- more than you can even begin to imagine -- but we need him. If you want your little war against the vampires that Payne promised you, were gonna need his help. She met Faiths eyes. He knows them better than we do. He knows their strengths, their weaknesses, their -- Bullshit! Faith interrupted. I think you just cant stand the thought of killin your exboyfriend, so you make up all kinds of half-assed reasons to avoid puttin a stake through his heart. She took a step toward Buffy. But I dont have that problem, B. Cause I never fell in love with him. He never broke my heart like that. He just killed the only person who cared enough about me to be willing to train me. Hell, you didnt care about me. I coulda just wandered off outta your life for all you cared. She folded her arms. G was the only one who stuck out his neck for me. He was gonna train me. He was gonna be my Watcher. Buffy blinked. He was? And now thats all gone. And I cant get it back. But you know what? Ill be damned if I sit around waitin for Willow to throw some spell to make it all right again. You remember what happened to the last person who tried that? Shes layin in a storage locker with goddamn fang marks in her neck! Poor Daisy, Willow spoke. Oz slid an arm around her. Yeah, poor Daisy, Faith echoed. And next time it could be poor you. Or you, she asserted, pointing at Buffy. Thats why we dont give the ex-boyfriend-turned-demon bastard his soul back. Thats why we drive a stake in his ass and call the whole thing over. No, Buffy spat, we dont. You think Angels not gonna feel guilty over what he did? Hell, the shame will probably almost kill him. Do you know how hard and how long hell have to work to make up for this? Buffy found tears welling up in her eyes. Nobody misses Giles more than I do. No one. No ones hurting like I am, Faith. Not you, not anyone. But that is no reason to throw away another good life. We lost Giles, and Im sad and angry about it too. But
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that does not mean we have to kill Angel in revenge. We turn him back, we make him good, and we make him atone for it. Theres a reason the gypsies called having a soul a curse. Thatll be punishment enough, that he has to live with the guilt of knowing what he did. Faith scowled at Buffy. Thats not good enough. It has to be, Buffy told her. My minds made up. Faith raised an eyebrow. Oh yeah? Well, sos mine. Faith, dont, Willow pleaded. We all want revenge, but Buffys right, thats not the right way to handle this. What about you guys? Faith wondered, looking at Pike and Shelley. What do you say? Pike and I agreed to back Buffy, Shelley responded. We may have some misgivings, but were gonna play this her way. Faith nodded. She turned around. Xander? Xander looked away. How about it? she pressed him. He looked up at Faith. You know how I feel, Faith, he told her. But what I feel doesnt matter. Buffys the Slayer. Shes the one in charge. We do it her way. He looked at Buffy. Even if we dont completely agree with her, shes the chosen one. Buffy met his gaze. Thank you, she mouthed. That right? Faith queried. Well, guess what guys, news flash. Im the chosen one too. Fate chose me just like it chose B. And as the only Slayer in the room not thinking with her ass for a brain, I say we hunt those two twisted bastards down and kill em both. That way we dont ever have this problem again. No Spike, no Angelus, no worries. She stared at Buffy. Because, you know, B, as much as I want my little war, I dont want Angel on the other side. And you cant guarantee that hell stay on our side, can you? Faith, you go after him, and Ill-- Faith cut Buffy off. Youll what, B? Youll kill me? Break my arms? Put me in a coma again? Faith glared at her. Go ahead. She turned to leave. Dont you leave this room, Buffy hissed, her voice low and ugly. Faith stopped at the doorway, hand on the knob. She looked over her shoulder. You want me to stay? Youre gonna have to kill me. She wrenched the door open and bolted out into the night before any of them could move a muscle to stop her. Buffy started after her, Slayer reflexes kicking in before anyone elses; but Xander intercepted her, moving between her and the doorway. Xander, Buffy snapped, if you dont move right this second... He placed his hands on her shoulders. Buffy, let me go after her. You chase her and theres gonna be a fight, and we cant afford to have you two beating the crap out of each other right now. He glanced around at the others. She doesnt trust anyone else but me. Anyone else goes, shell just get more pissed off. He stared into Buffys eyes. But shell listen to me, because she thinks Im on her side. Are you? Buffy asked in a quiet voice. Xander shook his head. Not a soul in the world could turn me against you, Buff. Id die first. With great reluctance, Buffy nodded. Okay, go. Get her and bring her back. And hurry. He kissed her briefly, grabbed his keys, and ran out the door after Faith.
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*
Faith noted with some enthusiasm that the sun had gone down. She walked along the main drag, downtown Sunnydale, watching people move past her on the way to restaurants, clubs, the movies, all of them with someplace to go. Normal life, eddying all around her as she glanced briefly at windows, barely seeing anything. She hardly noticed the occasional appraising looks she garnered from young men passing her by; Faith was far too absorbed with her own inner turmoil to notice that she was being checked out. She stopped on a corner, mostly because a crowd stood in front of her, waiting for the light to change. She glanced around, not really seeing any faces, and moved with the pack as it surged across the street, glad for once to blend in, to not call attention to herself as she tried to sort out what she was thinking, what she was feeling. Faith, a voice called behind her. She spun around, moving into a defensive stance, when she saw Xander standing on the curb shed just stepped off. I shoulda known it was you, she snapped. Bs gonna get jealous if you keep chasin after me. Xander grinned. Buffy has nothing to worry about on that score, he assured her. I just wanna talk. Faith frowned. What if Im not really in the mood for a discussion? Then at least get out of the street before the light changes. Faith glanced up and saw the traffic light the opposite way turn to yellow. She hopped back to the curb to stand next to Xander, staring up at him. Well? Come to give me the speech? He frowned. What speech? Faith shrugged. I dunno. Pick one. The were all on the same team speech, the why dont you think about this some more? speech, the trust Buffy, please, speech. She smirked at him. Take your pick. He shook his head. Im not here to give you any speech, Faith. I cant change your mind. Only you can do that. Im just askin you not to do something stupid like go running off alone at night while Angel and Spike are out here looking for you. Us. Faith folded her arms. Actually, I was kinda hopin Id run into them, she admitted. Be nice to let off some steam in the right direction. Careful what you wish for, Faith, a voice purred. You just might get it. Faith spun, dark eyes wide, to see Angelus and Spike standing not ten feet from her, evil grins playing on their features. Oh, shit, Xander blurted. Run home, little pansy man, Spike told him. We can take it from here. Faith leapt up and kicked Spike in the jaw, spinning him backward into a street sign. She landed and turned to face Angel, fists clenched, eyes blazing. Come on, you son of a bitch. Its your turn to feel some pain. Angelus smiled, his hunting face slipping over his handsome features, and spoke, Kind of a public place for this kinda thing, dont you think? Faith threw a punch at him; he dodged it. You know someplace better, name it. Just so long as I get to throw down with you. Youd better call in the cavalry, Spike told her, lashing out at her; Faith blocked his blow. Even you cant stand up to the two of us, girlie. His demonic face revealed itself. And
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speaking of payback, I seem to remember that you staked my Dru. He grabbed her shoulders and tossed her across the hood of a parked car. Faith rolled out into the traffic, coming to her feet just in time to avoid getting clipped by a huge old Buick. Xander flipped open the cell phone he usually stashed in the glove compartment and dialed the apartment. As soon as Buffy picked up, he told her, Tell Will the spells a go, now, and get your ass downtown, pronto. Corner of Main and Wilkins. We found em. Before she could reply, he slapped the phone shut and searched around for a weapon. Lookin for somethin like this? Spike growled, tearing a Club -- and a steering wheel - off a convertible and swinging it at Xander. The young man barely stepped out of the way, and Spike came at him again, the metal Club smashing through a wide pane glass window and setting off a store alarm. Xander ducked and rolled away from a shower of glass. Angelus followed Faith out into the street; they sparred briefly, evenly matched, before he grabbed her again and tossed her to the other side of the street. Faith rolled over the hood of a BMW, setting off the anti-theft alarm, and came to her feet. Angelus was already on her, leaping over the car, hands outstretched. She ducked beneath his leap and propelled him into the wall of a store, turning around to face him. Though he hit the concrete hard, Angelus got right back up, a leer on his features. This as much fun as you thought it would be, Faith? Because Im tellin you, I like a good workout. Giles, he didnt put up much of a fight. He just begged a little. Fuck you! Faith snarled, kicking at his midsection. He danced back out of her reach and aimed a solid punch at her. Faith ducked his blow and swung a nasty uppercut, hitting him in the ribs and knocking him back against the wall. Angelus moved to escape her, but she hit him twice, three times, as hard as she could before he slipped out of her grasp. Before she could follow up, he backhanded her across the face. Thats more like it, baby, Angelus goaded her. Show me all that rage, Faith. Show me all that anger. Let me know how much you hate me. Shut up, you bastard, she hissed, charging him. Xander, meanwhile, had taken to the middle of the street, sprinting between the thankfully slow moving traffic in an effort to avoid Spike and reach the van, where he had some weapons stashed. He knew he was no match for the vampire king, and Xander harbored no illusions about his being able to bring down Spike on his own. He darted to his left, narrowly missing an oncoming Toyota, whose owner beeped and yelled at him, and grabbed the handle on the door of his van. Why did I have to lock it? he wondered, reaching in his pocket for the keys. Oh, I dont think so, Spike told him, emerging from the other side of the van. Let you get inside there, where theres all sorts of sharp wooden things you can stick me with? He threw a vicious right hook; Xander fell flat on the pavement, the keys spinning away from his grasp. Lets see you play hero now, boy. Faith landed hard; Angelus had tossed her over a fence, and she rolled with the impact, coming to a crouch. Faster than she would have thought possible, he leapt over the chain link and came after her. Angelus landed lightly on his feet, smiling as she rose to face him. Gettin tired, Faith? Bit off more than you can chew? He advanced slowly. I think I can take care of one vampire, she shot back. He spread his arms. Really? Because right now, I gotta tell you, I am not impressed. She spun around, a side-kick aimed at his midsection; he caught her foot and spun it, attempting to break her leg. But Faith twisted her whole body with his move, bringing her other booted foot around and kicking him across the face. He staggered back as she fell to the ground, but she flipped up quickly. Before he could come at her Faith slammed him in the stomach,
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hitting him again before grabbing his shoulders and throwing him through the fence. The chain link buckled and gave way, and Angelus rolled over, momentarily trapped in a wiry cage. Faith grabbed a piece of wood from the bottom of a pallet and tore it free; she snapped it over her knee and gripped it in one hand as Angelus struggled with the fence. Now I got you, you son of a bitch, she growled. Angelus exerted himself, straining, and the thin metal links parted. He rose to his feet before Faith could close the gap and winked at her. Wanna bet?
*
Spike stood over Xander, who shook his head groggily as he lay in a vacant parking space. Id like to say this has been fun, the blond vampire spoke, lifting Xander up and tossing him across the sidewalk to land in a heap on the immaculately kept front lawn of a funeral home, but it hasnt. You were way too easy to kick around, and Ive been waiting too long for this. So at least give me a little bit of a fight before I take you a few pints low. Xander tried to get up but only managed to make it to his knees. Spike kicked him in the ribs, sending him spinning over on his back, and brought his boot down toward Xanders head. The young man rolled out of the way just in time; Spike stomped the ground, chuckling as Xander stumbled to his hands and knees and managed to stand, shakily. Thats better, the vampire observed, smacking his opponent with a vicious backhand. Give me a little something to enjoy for my trouble. Xander fell back into a row of bushes bordering the edge of the homes property, pushing through to the other side to land on a concrete driveway. He rolled away from Spike, ending up on another patch of grass, and glanced around. He was way too far from the van to even make a decent attempt at retrieving any weapons. He thought for the moment it took Spike to hop over the bushes about his options, and decided that his best one would be to run away, to lead Spike away from Faith and let her tangle with Angel one-on-one until Buffy could get here. Xander turned and dashed away from Spike. Now youre showin your true colors, Spike laughed, pursuing him. Thats okay; a good chase is almost as much fun as a good fight. He leapt after the young man, following him on to the sidewalk, sprinting after him. Xander neared a corner and was about to round it when Spike noticed, out of the corner of his eye, a dingy old van that looked remarkably like the one Xander had been trying to get into just a few moments ago. Bloody hell, he spat, realizing who it was, as Shelley leaned out the open side door and sent an arrow straight into his side. Not again, he groused, falling to the ground in pain and staying low to avoid being shot once more. He pulled the arrow out and swore as his blood oozed from the wound. Xander ran past Spike, heading straight toward the van. Shelley spotted him and drew a bead, but recognized him before she loosed the arrow. Xander flinched, but Shelley lowered the bow. Xander! Buffy called out. Come on! Show us where Angelus is! Pike slowed the van, and Xander hopped on board, Buffy helping him. Shelley kept her eyes peeled for Spike as they headed up the street. You hurt? Buffy wondered, grabbing his arm. A little, Xander admitted. Dazed more than anything else. He didnt get too many really good hits in. Buffy hugged him. Thanks for calling us. Willows already started the spell. All we have to do is keep Angelus occupied long enough for her to zap his soul back into him. She
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offered him a grin. Thanks to you, Spikes out of the way, and thanks to Shelley, down for the count. Or long enough to matter. We can come back for him later. Xander nodded. We didnt get that far -- theres Ozs van, he mentioned as Pike passed it. Just another block or so. You got that, Pike? Buffy asked. Pike called over his shoulder, Loud and clear. Wheres Oz? Xander wondered, wincing as he touched a cut on his forehead. Protecting Willow, Buffy told him. There was no way he was gonna leave her. And no way I was gonna ask him. Shelley continued to watch out the side door of the van as they drove, but she saw no sign of either Faith or Angel. She lowered the bow to avoid notice and tried to watch everyone, wishing not for the first time that she shared Buffys ability to detect vampires. Slow down, Xander told Pike as they neared the corner. This is where I caught up to Faith. They gotta be close by. Pike stopped as the light turned red and watched as a crowd of people crossed the street in front of him; he tapped on the steering wheel impatiently, hoping that the light would change quickly. He didnt like Faiths chances alone with Angelus, and the longer they took, the worse off she might be. Hell, were lucky we saved Xander. Take a right, Xander told him, when you can. The light went green, and Pike turned, gunning the engine, bringing the van around before any pedestrians could start crossing and cut him off again. He pulled away from the intersection quickly and began to scan the area for any signs of Faith or Angelus when suddenly the dark-haired Slayer appeared from nowhere, sailing through the air and landing on his windshield. The impact of her body cracked it like a spiders web, and she rolled to the ground, barely conscious, the sharp sliver of wood shed been holding dropping alongside her. Angelus stepped out of the alley, lit by the vans headlights, his vampire face showing in full fury. Shelley notched an arrow to her bow, but Buffy touched her on the arm and nodded no. The Slayer stepped out of the van and moved in front of it. Behind her, Xander followed, moving to Faith. Angelus, Buffy spoke. Buffy, he smiled, showing sharp fangs. So glad you finally came yourself instead of sending your little flunkies. You want a piece of me? she asked. Can you really be that stupid? Angelus took a step toward her. You want a rematch, Slayer? Fine by me. I almost killed you last time. If it hadnt been for that little spell... The smile fell from his face as he at last realized her plan. You wouldnt! Buffy nodded. Oh, you bet I would. You wanna spend your last moments as a bad ass making fun of me, go right ahead. It wont matter in a minute anyway. Bloody right it wont, Spike told her, rearing up behind her. Buffy swirled around, surprised, having no time to defend herself. Spike held the arrow that Shelley had put in his ribs like a knife; he brought it down and stabbed at her heart. She shifted away, and the arrow punctured her shoulder, cutting into her and ripping through the other side. Buffy cried out in pain, and Spike hit her again, on the chin, dropping her to the ground. No! Xander yelled, abandoning Faith to leap at Spike, knocking the vampire off his feet. Xander punched Spike hard across the jaw, twice, three times, and slammed the vampires
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head against the pavement. Spike lay still. Buffy, Xander muttered, moving toward her as she lay curled up in a ball, tugging on the arrow. Now it ends, Buffy, Angelus told her, standing over her. You might give me my soul back, but Im gonna make sure the goody-goody me really has some serious guilt issues. Xander threw himself at Angelus; the vampire backhanded him away and drew a long knife from inside his duster. Good-bye, honey, he teased Buffy, bending over to stab her. A long shard of wood punctured his chest, sticking out from his shirt; Angelus gasped, turning around to see Faith standing behind him, blood running down her face from her impact with the van. Dont make me kill you, tough guy, Faith warned him. You missed, he told her, gesturing to the wood protruding from his chest. She nodded, shakily. On purpose. Like B said, soon it wont matter. Not soon enough, he leered at her. Still hurt from when he had thrown her, Faith reacted too slow as he thrust the knife into her chest. She deflected his arm away, but not enough; the blade sank home in her breast, blood spurting out. Faith gripped it, trying to pull it out; she sank to her knees, her face a mask of agony, her body swaying slightly. Xander moved behind Angelus and wrenched the makeshift stake from his back. The vampire gasped as the shaft was removed, and glared at Xander as he moved around in front of his enemy. You been waitin for this a long time, Angelus challenged. Ever since you met me. Xander only nodded, holding the bloody stake up. I dont think youve got the stones, Angelus chided him. Xander? Buffy muttered drowsily at his feet. Xander, no... Xander looked down at Buffy, then up at Angelus, whose demonic features creased into a hateful smile. Any second now Ill have my soul back, he told Xander. But you, youll have to live with yourself for the rest of your life that you didnt kill me right here, right now. Xander glanced at Faith, who lay slumped over on the ground, still clutching the knife in her chest. Xander, Buffy managed. Please...dont... Xander drove the stake home, the wood splitting Angelus chest in two, tearing the skin open and puncturing his heart, ending his life just before his soul could re-enter his body. I dont believe it, Angelus spoke, exploding in a cloud of ash. No!! Buffy cried out, her voice tearing into the night. Xander bent over to tend to Buffy, to pull the arrow from her shoulder. Dont you touch me, she hissed.
*
I wonder where they are, Willow spoke softly to Oz. He sat just outside the protective circle, the candlelight coloring him a deep orange. They were fightin Spike, after all, Oz reminded her. That can take some time. Willow nodded, staring down at the empty pillow where the orb of Thessalia had rested before it had vanished in a swirl of light. Somewhere out there, Angel had his soul again, and somewhere out there, he was probably bent over in half, weeping at the evil he had committed, that he had taken Giles away from Buffy, that he had hurt her again, the only woman he would
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ever love. I just hope everyones okay, Willow offered after a moment. I mean, Angels gonna be really upset with himself when he realizes what hes done. She looked at Oz. I hope he doesnt try to kill himself. Oz shook his head. He doesnt strike me as the type. But hell spend a lotta time makin it up to Buffy. Willow nodded in agreement and began to reply when she heard the shuffling of feet outside the door. She looked up, as did Oz, who grabbed a crossbow and moved between her and the entryway. He cocked the weapon and knelt down, ready to repel any intruder. Keys jingled; Oz took aim, but relaxed when he spotted Buffy, Pike, and Shelley. Buffys shoulder dribbled blood, though she held a rag from Pikes van up to it. Willow hopped up. Buffy, are you okay? She frowned. Wheres Angel? And Xander? And Faith? Buffy looked over at her friend with eyes so full of pain that Willow gasped. Tears streamed down the Slayers face, and she simply shook her head and moved into the bathroom. Pike murmured something to Shelley, who followed Buffy and closed the door behind them. Pike, Oz greeted him. Little help here? Pike sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging as he regarded the duo. Angels dead, he whispered. But how? Willow queried. We -- I threw the spell! It worked. The orb disappeared. I restored his soul! Pike shook his head. Not in time. Not in time to save him. From who? Oz wondered. Pike shut his eyes. Xander. No, Willow breathed. Oz moved to her, sliding an arm around her. She looked up at Pike. How? Spike stabbed Buffy, Faith stabbed Angel, Angel stabbed Faith... he trailed off. Faiths not gonna make it. Least I dont think so. Xander took her to the hospital, but... He sat down on the floor, gazing up at them. Angel -- Angelus -- stabbed her right in the heart. I dont think even a Slayer can survive that. And thats when Xander staked him? Willow pressed. Pike wrung his hands. He was gonna kill Buffy -- Angelus. He had this knife... Pike put his head in his hands. Faith stopped him, so he stabbed her. He shook his head, his eyes haunted. Then Xander just.... But... Willow frowned, closing her eyes and trying to fight back her tears. Angels gone too. And Giles. And probably Faith. She turned to Oz, who wrapped his other arm around her and held her close. Buffy okay? Oz queried. Pike nodded. She will be. Spike rammed an arrow through her shoulder. Itll hurt her like hell for a while, but shell heal. He exhaled. That wound, anyway. Willow moved away from Oz and headed for the bathroom. Tentatively she knocked on the door. Buffy? she inquired. The sound of motion on the other side of the door ceased. Willow, Shelley responded, her voice neutral. Shelley, I wanna see Buffy. Willow bit her lip, anxious. After a long pause, Shelley stepped out of the bathroom. Buffy sat on top of the toilet, her shirt peeled away to reveal the wound Spike had made. Already it had stopped bleeding, and
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Shelley had washed most of the dried blood away. Buffy looked up at Willow, hazel eyes wide, rimmed red from crying. Willow shut the door behind her and knelt down in front of Buffy. Are you gonna be okay? she asked, her voice a whisper. Buffy frowned and gestured to her shoulder. Shelley says itll be sore for a while, but it should heal fine, she spoke, her voice flat, dull. Ill probably have a scar, I guess. Willow touched Buffys knee. I dont mean your shoulder. Buffy shut her eyes, nodding, and her face creased, eyes screwing shut tightly and mouth falling open as she began to cry, the pain too much for her to bear, losing Angel on top of losing Giles. A sob escaped her, long and low, and Willow stood up, embracing Buffy, being very careful to avoid the dime-sized wound on her upper back. Willow began to cry herself as Buffy lost control, weeping aloud; her face contorting into a mask of agony, the Slayer continued to sob for a long time, her heart pouring out all the grief she had tried to dam in over the last day. Willow made comforting noises, holding Buffy close and patting her gently, but Buffy wept for what felt like an hour. After a long while, she finally straightened up, gaining some control over herself, and reached for a tissue. She wiped the tears from her eyes and her cheeks as Willow released her. Willow took a tissue herself and dabbed at her own moist cheeks. He killed him, Will, Buffy managed, her voice hoarse, broken. Xander. He killed Angel. After I begged him not to. She began to sob again. He knew... she mumbled. He knew the spell was going to work. He knew Angel was gonna get his soul back, and he just stood there and drove the stake right in him... Willow smoothed Buffys hair as her best friend continued to cry. Why? Buffy wondered, her voice a croak. How could he do this to me? Why? How could he hurt me so much? Buffy, Willow whispered, her own tears starting again. Xander couldnt hurt you even if he wanted to. Buffy sniffled, trying to get herself under control. I thought he loved me. He does love you, Willow asserted. Buffy frowned, pain lacing her hazel eyes. Then how could he do this? Willow shook her head. Im sure whyever he did what he did, it was to protect you. Buffy wept. Protect me? she echoed hoarsely. Buffy, Xander loves you more than anything else in the entire universe, Willow reminded her. Then how could he do what he did? Buffy wondered, anguish all over her face. Willow shook her head; for that question she had no reply.
*
Xander sat back in the hospital chair, dark eyes unseeing, replaying the whole sequence of events over again in his mind, wondering if he could have done anything differently. He could still feel the sharp wood in his hand, feel the rage course through him as Angelus casually stabbed Faith, merely because she had thwarted him from killing Buffy. No other reason. Faith wasnt even his real enemy; Buffy was, and he knew it. Well, I dont have to worry about that any more, he mused, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. Xander? a voice asked.
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For a brief second he thought it was Faith, impossible as that had to be. He blinked, suddenly very tired, and looked up to see Rachel staring down at him. She wore a hospital gown, one arm tucked around her midsection and the other clutching a Diet Pepsi. A large white bandage still sat on her shoulder. He nodded at her. Rachel, he spoke, his voice like gravel. What the hell are you doing here? she wondered, sitting down next to him. And no offense, but you look like shit. She sipped on the Pepsi and her dark eyes widened. Oh my God -- is Buffy okay? He shook his head no. She took an arrow in the shoulder. But shell heal. She here? Rachel asked. Xander shook his head no. Rachel frowned. So what happened? You guys find Angel? He nodded. Is he okay? she wondered. You get to him in time? Yeah, we did, Xander exhaled. And no, he isnt. Rachel frowned some more. What do you mean? Xander looked over at her, but he couldnt meet her gaze. Hes dead, was all he could manage. What?? Rachel blurted. Dead, Xander repeated. Dust. History. Rachel gripped his arm. How? Did Faith do it? she growled. I knew we couldnt trust that little... Faiths dying, Xander interrupted her. Angel stabbed her in the heart. Rachel blinked. I didnt... I mean, Im sorry. Xander nodded. Yah, he drawled. Me too. He set his hands on the arm of the chair and propelled himself to a standing position. Im gonna go check on her. Rachel tilted her head. Okay. But if she didnt kill Angel...? Xander wiped at his chin, feeling the coarse stubble there. Youre lookin at him. Rachel said nothing, looking up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. He saw the shock in her gaze, the accusation, the surprise commingled with fear, and anger. How could you? she seemed to ask him with her stare. Yeah, well, he was gonna kill Buffy, he replied silently. How could I not? Ill see ya, he offered, shuffling off toward Faiths room. He could feel Rachels eyes on him as he turned the corner, but he had no answers for her. Or himself. Or worst of all, for Buffy. Oddly, as he entered Faiths room, he wished she would pull through not for any of the better reasons she should -- help out Buffy, make good on her attempt to turn her life around, or even because shed be sorely missed in the upcoming struggle between the vampires and werewolves -- but merely because alone of the people he knew, she would understand why he did what he did. No questions, no tears, no long looks of doubt. Just a nod of acceptance that he had done what needed to be done at the moment it needed doing. And Buffy will never, ever understand that. Ever. Faith lay in the bed very still, as if she had already passed on. Her face had been scrubbed of all the blood that had caked there after her collision with the windshield, and they had even stitched one of the longer lacerations along her temple. But she looked so pale, and the monitors told Xander that she barely breathed. Even Slayers cant take a dagger to the heart, he thought as he moved to her bedside, looking down at her. He reached for her hand and took her thumb in his palm, looking down at her.
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So, Giles was gonna train you, huh? he asked her, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. Thats cool. Thats good. Im glad you didnt almost kill me in that magic store for nothing. He squeezed her thumb softly. Im glad somebody else thought you were worth helpin. He sighed, letting go of her hand and resting her arm back on the bed. And Im glad you thought so too. Faiths eyes shot open, the left one horribly bloodshot; she looked up at him, barely able to move her head. Faith, Xander spoke, a spark of hope flaring up amidst the cloud of despair that filled him. Xander, Faith wheezed, her voice faint. She tried to gesture to the night stand, her arm twitching slightly, just enough to attract his attention. He followed the direction of her gaze, spotting a pair of necklaces lying on the bed stand next to her. Take them, she managed. He nodded his head. I cant, he told her. Theyre yours, theyre... Take them, she insisted, her voice hollow, face frowning just a little. Xander reached over and without examining them put the necklaces in his pocket. Got em, he assured her, trying to smile. You killed Angel, she rasped. He nodded, his eyes on hers. Good, she told him. That means Bs safe. Faith, I-- Xander began, but her head lolled to the side, eyes closed, and he knew she was gone. The heart monitor flatlined, confirming it, and Xander turned to go as a nurse dashed in to check on Faith. He stepped outside the room, watching as a group of doctors and nurses rushed in to try and prevent the inevitable. He shook his head and sighed, making his way down the corridor. And the last thing she thought about was Buffy, he realized. He stopped and turned back, eyes on the doorway of her room as the commotion inside slowed down, then halted. How ironic is that?
*
Dawn came slowly that next morning, as if the darkness was unwilling to yield to a new day. Xander paused as he stepped out of the van, looking up at the doorway to the apartment he had shared with Buffy for almost three years. He swallowed hard as he made his way up the front walk, around the little swatch of grass that served for a courtyard, and pulled out his keys, opening the door. Willow stirred as he entered the living room. She slept in Ozs arms on the couch; he remained asleep, but Willow slitted her eyes enough to see him. Gently she disengaged from her husband and stood up, stifling a yawn, to face Xander. Shes dead, he whispered. Faith. Shes gone. Willow nodded, her face sinking with the news. Im sorry. Me too, Xander admitted. Willow looked up at him. Buffy-- Is pretty pissed off at me, I know. Willow shook her head. Shes not mad, Xander. Shes hurt. Right now shes in so much pain I dont think she can even get mad. Willow glanced over her shoulder at the bedroom door, then turned to meet his eyes. I dont know if you can make it better, but youre the only one who even has a chance. I tried, and I couldnt.
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He nodded, looking at the door, and then he looked down. He was gonna kill her, Will. I know it. I know he was gonna kill Buffy, and... He shook his head, letting out a long breath. I couldnt let him. Willow put a hand on his shoulder. I know, she said simply. I understand. Now go tell Buffy so she understands too. Xander nodded, looking at the bedroom door again, licking his lips. Pike and Shelley? he wondered. Got a hotel room, Willow provided. Go, she told him. Fix it. Make it right. Xander took a deep breath and moved to the bedroom door, knocking softly before he entered, closing the door behind him. Buffy sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands, staring into space, her eyes glazed over. For a moment she seemed not to realize that he had even entered the room; then, belatedly, she looked up at him, her eyes regarding him warily, like something to be avoided. He stood by the door. Buffy, he said. She swallowed. Xander. Her voice sounded bitter, remorseful. He knelt down to put his eyes in line with hers. Im sorry, he told her. I couldnt let him hurt you. Buffy closed her eyes. In another few seconds, he would have been Angel again, she muttered. Once that happened, he couldnt have stabbed me any more than you could. Xander sighed. I couldnt take that chance, Buff. I couldnt risk your life on the chance hed get his soul back before he stuck that knife in you. He watched her, head hung low, her blond hair obscuring her face. All you had to do was stall him, she told him, a tear rolling down her cheek. Just another few seconds... He killed Giles, Buff. He killed Faith. He was about to kill you. Dont you see? I couldnt let him. I couldnt. It wasnt about revenge, Buffy. You know that. It was about you. She shook her head. And now hes gone. And Giles is gone. She sighed, seeming to shrink even smaller. And Faith. He saw her shoulders begin to shake. And Willows going back to L.A. Im all alone now. You have me, he told her, moving forward, hobbling over on his knees to kneel next to her on the floor. He reached out and took her hand. Youll always have me, Buffy. Always. Buffy raised her head to look at him, hazel eyes meeting his through her bangs. No, she said simply, disengaging her hand. No, I lost you too, Xander. Somewhere out there last night, I lost everything I cared about, everything I loved, in my whole life. Xander touched her knee. Buffy, no, he corrected her, softly. You didnt lose me. I just made the world a little safer for you. I know it doesnt seem like that now, but in time -- Time? she interrupted. You think time is gonna heal this one? She shook her head. I lost Giles and I lost Angel, all in one day. And you took Angel from me. You. When you didnt have to. You promised me you wouldnt and you did anyway. She brushed his hand off her knee and slid away from him on the bed. I cant trust you any more. I cant be with you any more. She wiped at another tear. Times not gonna heal this one, Xander. Nothings gonna heal this one. Xander felt a chill creep into him as her words began to sink in. Buffy, please, think about this. You said --
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She looked over at him. You think I havent thought about this? You think I havent been sitting here by myself for hours thinking about nothing but this while you were out there with Faith? That I havent looked at this from every angle? That I havent... She sobbed once, turning away from him, her hand clenching the sheet. He moved to her, his hands coming to her shoulders. But she kept her head turned, and he could feel her body stiffen as he touched her. Slowly, awkwardly, he backed away from her. I loved you, she hissed softly, pain lacing her words. I loved you so much, and you do this to me. Her head shook, barely perceptibly. I cant even look at you now. Xander felt his heart shatter, felt it sink in his chest, blinked at the tears that started to form in his eyes. Buffy, he begged her, please, dont. Please. You dont have to leave town if you dont want to, she managed, her voice rough with emotion. But you better make sure you dont run into me any time soon. Xander wiped at his cheeks with his sleeve, nodding. I love you, you know, he told her, his voice breaking. More than anything Ive ever loved in my life. More than anything I ever will love. He took a ragged breath. If I thought that Angelus killing me would save your life, I would have gladly-- She held up a hand, stiffly, still turned away from him. Just go, she spoke, crying. Just please go. Xander closed his eyes, no longer bothering to dry his tears, and stood up, moving through a fog of pain toward the door. He stopped, his hand on the knob, and turned back to look at Buffy, her profile a silhouette in the dim grey morning light. Then he left, closing the door behind him. Buffy fell to the bed, no longer able to contain her weeping, pressing her face to the pillow and wishing just for a moment that it had been her breast, and not Faiths, that Angelus had stabbed. Anything, she thought as she shook on the bed, sobbing, anything would be less painful than this. Anything.
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Buffy: Heart of Darkness Chapter 11

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Chapter Eleven

June 25, 2003 Sunnydale

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