Baggy trousers Naughty boys in nasty schools Headmasters breaking all the rules Having fun and playing

fools Smashing up the woodwork tools All the teachers in the pub Passing 'round the ready-rub Trying not to think of when The lunch-time bell will ring again. Oh what fun we had But, did it really turn out bad All I learnt at school Was how to bend not break the rules Oh what fun we had But at the time it seemed so bad Trying different ways To make a difference to the days. Headmaster's had enough to-day All the kids have gone away Gone to fight with next-door's school Every term, that is the rule Sits alone and bends his cane Same old backsides again All the small ones tell tall tales Walking home and squashing snails. Oh what fun we had But, did it really turn out bad All I learnt at school Was how to bend not break the rules Oh what fun we had But at the time it seemed so bad Trying different ways To make a difference to the days. Lots of girls and lots of boys Lots of smells and lots of noise Playing football in the park Kicking Pushbikes after dark Baggy trousers, dirty shirt Pulling hair and eating dirt Teacher comes to break it up Bang on the 'ead with a plastic cup. Oh what fun we had But, did it really turn out bad

All I learnt at school Was how to bend not break the rules Oh what fun we had But at the time it seemed so bad Trying different ways To make a difference to the days. Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers

Driving in my car I've been driving in my car, it's not quite a Jaguar I bought it in Primrose Hill from a bloke from Brazil It was made in fifty-nine in a factory by the Tyne It says Morris on the door, the G.P.O. owned it before I drive in it for my job, the governor calls me a slob But I don't really care, give me some gas and the open air It's a bit old but it's mine, I mend it in my spare time Just last week I changed the oil, the rocker valves and the coil Just last week I changed the oil Last week it went round the clock, I also had a little knock I dented somebody's fender, he learnt not to park on a bender, ha ha ha I've been driving in my car, it don't look much but I've been far I drive up to Muswell Hill, I've even been to Selsey Bill I drove along the A45, I had her up to 58 This copper stopped me the other day, you're mistaken what could I say The tyres were a little worn, they were O.K., I could have sworn I like driving in my car, I'm satisfied I've got this far I like driving in my car, it don't look much but I've been far I like driving in my car, even with a flat tyre I like driving in my car, it's not quite a Jaguar I like driving in my car, I'm satisfied I've got this far

House of fun Good morning miss Can I help you son? Sixteen today And up for fun I'm a big boy now Or so they say So if you'll serve I'll be on my way Box of balloons With the feather-light touch Pack of party-poppers That pop in the night A toothbrush and hairspray Plastic grin Miss Clay on all corners Has just walked in Welcome to the House of Fun Now I've come of age Welcome to the House of Fun Welcome to the lion's den Temptation's on his way Welcome to the House of N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss You misunderstood Sixteen big boy Full pint in my manhood I'm up to date And the date's today So if you'll serve I'll be on my way Welcome to the House of Fun Now I've come of age Welcome to the lion's den Temptation's on his way Welcome to the House of (Fun) I'm sorry son But we don't stock Party gimmicks In this shop Try the House of Fun It's quicker if you run This is a chemist's

Not a joke shop! Party hats Simple enough clear Comprehende savvy understand Do you hear? A pack of party hats With the coloured tips Too late! Gorgon heard gossip Well hello Joe, hello Miss Clay Many happy returns from the day Welcome to the House of Fun Now I've come of age Welcome to the House of Fun Welcome to the lion's den Temptation's on his way Welcome to the House of Fun Welcome to the House of Fun...

My girl My girl's mad at me I didn't wanna see the film tonight I found it hard to say She thought I'd had enough of her Why can't she see She's lovely to me? But I like to stay in And watch t.v. on my own Every now and then My girl's mad at me Been on the telephone for an hour We hardly said a word I tried and tried but I could not be heard Why can't I explain? Why do I feel this pain? 'Cause everything I say She doesn't understand She doesn't realise She takes it all the wrong way

My girl's mad at me We argued just the other night I thought we'd got it straight We talked and talked until it was light I thought we'd agreed I thought we'd talked it out Now when I try to speak She says that I don't care She says I'm unaware And now she says I'm weak

Our house Father wears his Sunday best Mother's tired she needs a rest The kids are playing up downstairs Sister's sighing in her sleep Brother's got a date to keep He can't hang around Our house, in the middle of our street Our house, in the middle of our ... Our house it has a crowd There's always something happening And it's usually quite loud Our mum she's so house-proud Nothing ever slows her down And a mess is not allowed Our house, in the middle of our street Our house, in the middle of our ... Our house, in the middle of our street Our house, in the middle of our ... (Something tells you that you've got to get away from it) Father gets up late for work Mother has to iron his shirt Then she sends the kids to school Sees them off with a small kiss She's the one they're going to miss In lots of ways Our house, in the middle of our street

Our house, in the middle of our ... I remember way back then when everything was true and when We would have such a very good time such a fine time Such a happy time And I remember how we'd play simply waste the day away Then we'd say nothing would come between us two dreamers Father wears his Sunday best Mother's tired she needs a rest The kids are playing up downstairs Sister's sighing in her sleep Brother's got a date to keep He can't hang around Our house, in the middle of our street Our house, in the middle of our street Our house, in the middle of our street Our house, in the middle of our ... Our house, was our castle and our keep Our house, in the middle of our street Our house, that was where we used to sleep Our house, in the middle of our street

One better day Arlington House Address no fixed abode An old man in a three-piece suite Sits in the road He stares across the water And sees right through the lock But on and up like outstretched hands His mumbled words, his fumbled words Further down there's a photo booth A million plastic bags And an old woman filling out A million baggage tags But when she get thrown out Three bags at a time

She spies the old chap in the road To share her bags with, she has bags of time Surrounded by his past On a short white line He sits while cars pass Either side Takes his time Trying to remember One better day A while ago when people stopped To hear him say Walking 'round you sometimes Hear the sunshine Beating down in time with the Rhythm of your shoes Now she has walked Enough through rainy town She rests her back against his And sits down She's trying to remember One better day Awhile ago when people stopped To hear her say Walking 'round you sometimes Hear the sunshine Beating down in time with the Rhythm of your shoes Walking 'round you sometimes Hear the sunshine Beating down in time with the Rhythm of your shoes The feeling of arriving When you've nothing left to lose

Night Boat To Cairo !!..... It's just gone noon Half past monsoon On the banks of the river Nile Here comes the boat Only half-afloat Oarsman grins a toothless smile Only just one more To this desolate shore Last boat along the river Nile Doesn't seem to care No more wind in his hair As he reaches his last half mile The oar snaps in his hand Before he reaches dry land But the sound doesn't deafen his smile Just pokes at wet sand With an oar in his hand Floats off down the river Nile Floats off down the river Nile

Embarrassment Received a letter just the other day, Don't seem they wanna know you no more, They've laid it down given you their score, Within the first two lines it bluntly read. You're not to come and see us no more, Keep away from our door, Don't come 'round here no more What on earth did you do that for? Our aunt, she don't wanna know she says, What will the neighbours think they'll think, We don't that's what they'll think, we don't, But I will, 'cause I know they think I don't. Our uncle he don't wanna know he says, We are a disgrace to the human race he says, How can you show your face, When you're a disgrace to the human race? They've made a commitment, you're an embarrassment, Yes, an embarrassment, a living endorsement,

The intention that you have booked, Was an intention that was overlooked. They say, stay away, Don't want you home today, Keep away from our door, Don't come 'round here no more. Our dad, he don't wanna know he says, This is a serious matter, Too late to reconsider, No one's gonna wanna know ya ! Our mum, she don't wanna know, she says, I'm feelin' twice as old, she says, Thought she had a head on her shoulder, 'Cause I'm feelin' twice as older, I'm feelin' twice as older. You're an embarrassment...

It must be love I never thought I'd miss you Half as much as I do And I never thought I'd feel this way The way I feel About you As soon as I wake up Every night, every day I know that it's you I need To take the blues away It must be love, love, love, It must be love, love, love, Nothing more, nothing less Love is the best How can it be that we can

Say so much without words? Bless you and bless me Bless the bees And the birds I've got to be near you Every night, every day I couldn't be happy Any other way It must be love, love, love, It must be love, love, love, Nothing more, nothing less Love is the best As soon as I wake up Every night, every day I know that it's you I need To take the blues away It must be love, love, love, It must be love, love, love' It must be love, love, love... repeat