First Episode: Cell Phones E1S1

Message at the beginning of the episode: A cell phone is a device that imprisons someone within a call. (For each main character, when first seen, the scene will pause and state the character's name and a brief description of the character.)

Episode starts with Frank Byars (caucasian) sitting and leaning against the wall in an apartment with Layr Freeman (open) doing the same.

Frank: I was insulted today at the super market. Layr (who never talks) just looks back and forth. Frank (thinking Layr is short for Larry): I don't know what the chick was thinking. As if I didn't notice her little joke, Layr. I know they call you Layr, but I feel more comfortable with Larry. Is that cool with you? Layr pulls out his ID and gives it to Frank. Frank: Damn your name really is Layr...L-A-Y-R. Your parents must have been really fucked up when they came up with that one. Layr snatches the ID from Frank's hand. Frank: Sorry dude. No disrespect. Not like the kind that cashier gave me. You know what she did? (Frank turns and looks at Layr.) Layr starts looking back and forth again. Frank: Well I will tell you what she did. First, you have to know that I took her as being uppity beyond uppity. Layr looks up at the ceiling. Frank looks over at Layr and then looks at the ceiling too. Frank: What the fuck are you looking at? (short pause) Anyway, this bitch says I have bad breath...only she doesn't say it. She does it by actions. Layr looks at Frank as if he is interested in the story. Frank: Do you know what she does? She puts the new toothbrush I was buying in the same bag as the toilet paper. What a bitch!

Frank looks at his watch and doesn't notice that Layr gets up and leaves. Frank (while looking at his watch): So what's up with the name Layr anyway? Do you think they meant to spell it L-A-R-Y and you're still Larry but still spelled stupid as shit. What do you think? (Frank says as looking over and realizing Layr is gone.) Layr? (Frank looks at the floor) It ain't my fault your name is fucked up. Begin opening sequence with theme song. Scene opens outside against the wall with Gerald Jamison (african-american) having a cigarette hanging out of his mouth to the left side of the scene. Frank enters from the right and leans up against the wall by Gerald. Both are looking ahead for a while, then Frank looks at Gerald. Frank: Are you the new guy that moved into the apartment next to mine? Gerald (still looking forward): I am that guy. Frank: Cool. (There is another pause while both are looking ahead) Do you drink? Gerald: Occasionally. Frank: We have a cool bar down the road. It's my Birthday tomorrow, so I'm going. Where I come from, I always paid for the first round so you wanna go? Frank turns and is looking down the road. Gerald takes his wallet out and starts looking in it. He starts shaking his head to show he has no money. As he puts the wallet back in his pocket, Frank turns back to Gerald. Gerald: It's actually cool that we are doing things by where we come from, because where I come from, the first round is my only round. At that time, Frank's cell phone rings. Frank pulls it out of his pocket and looks at it. Frank: Son of a bitch! Gerald (shaking his head): Why do white guys always say "son of a bitch?" Frank: I don't know. This girl calls me and talks FOREVER! Why does she keep fuckin' calling me? Gerald: Well...that's no reason to be belligerent. Frank (phone still ringing): Well you say white guys always say "son of a bitch." I never hear blacks guys say "belligerent." Gerald: Oh, so a more intellectual word is not a black guy word? That's what you're sayin'?

Frank: I'm not saying that at all. Belligerent is just not a black guy word. You are the first in my existence to say that, and I guarantee you that I will turn 70 years old before I ever hear a black guy say that fucking word again. Larry Short (african-american) walks onto the scene.(Entering from the middle.) He looks at Frank. Pauses. Larry: Why be so belligerent in public? You need to keep that in your castle. Frank puts his head down and does the walkout. (The walkout is when Frank is either embarrassed or doesn't know what to say, so he turns and quickly exits the scene.) Larry leans against the wall and looks at Gerald. Larry: Who was that? (Kinda laughing) Gerald: Don't mind him. He actually just turned 70 years old but looks good for his age. Larry: Yeah...language is language. I overheard you guys talking. You can't look at him as just a son of a bitch guy, and in return, he can't look at you as a guy that doesn't say words like "belligerent". That's too stereotypical. As Larry says the word stereotypical, Mindy Blake (open) walks into the scene (from the right), and then walks out of the scene. Larry: Did you see that ass? Gerald: Nah...sorry...I just seen her face. So stereotypical of me. Larry: Yeah...stop your ways little brother. Larry goes in the direction of Mindy still looking as though he is looking at her ass even though she is out of the scene. (Gerald takes the cigarette out of his mouth and looks at it. He leaves the scene to the left. The scene is now empty, except for the brick wall, and it speeds up to the middle of the next day.) Frank and Gerald are leaning against the wall in the same spot. Both are looking straight ahead. Gerald still has an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Frank: Hey man, sorry about yesterday. That wasn't even cool. I've been a little on the defensive because of things going on. I don't even have any dishes in my apartment. People don't know the importance of a bowl. I need one just to cut my hair. Larry: No hard feelings either, man. Do you know I was so mad that I actually bought you a birthday cake today that read "Son Of A Bitch" on it,but when I left the store, I was robbed just for the cake? Didn't even take my money. (Laughs) Weird town. I've been on the defensive, too, ever since I quit smoking. I hang these cigarettes out my mouth just by habit...never light'em.

Frank: Hey, that's pretty hard what you did. You may be defensive now, but you'll feel better in the future. Gerald: Actually, I feel a little better now, because I found 13 lighters that didn't even work when I was moving. I was about to throw those out and this crazy guy around here bought those off of me for ten bucks. Frank's smile widens. Frank: Well, I will be going to the bar later tonight, so give me your cell phone number. We'll go check out some females Gerald: Alright. There is a big pause, as each guy looks ahead. Frank kinda laughs. Frank: You didn't buy me no damn cake. Scene shifts to a bar around the block. Lou Weems (open) is leaning against a wall outside looking excited. A female (open) enters and leans against the wall beside of him. She puts a cigarette between her lips and starts looking for a light. She figures out that she doesn't have one and asks Lou if he has a light. He hands her a lighter. She tries to light her cigarette, but the lighter doesn't work. Lou takes that one back and pulls out another one. She tries that one and it doesn't work. Lou takes that one and gives her another one. She tries that one and it doesn't work. She starts looking frustrated. Lou takes that one and gives her another one. She takes her time while looking at Lou, then tries that one and it doesn't work. She throws the lighter on the ground. Female: Asshole! Female leaves the scene Lou keeps leaning against the wall looking as though he has accomplished something. A guy (open) enters and leans on the wall beside of Lou. He puts a cigarette between his lips and starts looking for a light. He figures out that he doesn't have one and asks Lou if he has a light. Lou looks at the guy then pushes a lighter out of his mouth. Guy: What the fuck? Guy leaves the scene. Lou removes the lighter from his mouth and smiles wide. Another female, Amy Sebrin (open), enters the scene and leans against the wall beside of Lou. Lou looks at Amy, smiles and raises his eyebrows. The scene shifts back to Frank and Gerald. Both are still looking ahead.

Frank: I really believe that this cashier's forehead has melted down between her eyes. Her eyes are so far apart that she can see who is coming around the corners but she can't see who is right in front of her. Gerald smiles as if he wants to laugh. Frank's cellphone begins to ring again. Frank: It's Lou. Weird. He usually texts me. Frank answers the phone. Frank: Hello? Frank realizes it is Amy on the phone and puts the phone down between his legs so she can't hear him. Frank: Son of a bitch! Frank quickly realizes what he has just said and looks at Gerald. Gerald (still looking straight ahead): I ain't saying nothing. Frank: It's Amy, the girl I said talks me to death. Why is she on Lou's phone? Frank puts the phone back up to his ear. Frank: Hi Amy. Yeah...well I'm sorry that happened to you. Well...I'm sorry you are on your period too. I was gonna call y...yeah...I didn't know your aunt remarried. I like it when it snows too. Gerald looks at Frank, shaking his head, then leaves the scene. (One hour later, Frank is still out against the wall talking to Amy.) Frank: Well I'm not sure if I have anything to say about the death penalty. Yeah I hate that grocery store too because the cashier hates me. (Two hours later, Frank is asleep against the wall with his cellphone in his hand. It is now night, and Gerald enters the scene and leans against the wall. He looks down at Frank. He tries to wake him up.) Gerald: Hey....HEY!! Frank wakes up and immediately puts his phone back up to his ear. Frank: Yeah...I actually didn't know your lucky number was 7. Gerald reaches down and takes the cellphone and ends the call. Gearld: Quit letting her talk you to death. Frank stands up and leans against the wall. Frank and Gerald stand there for a while looking straight ahead.

Frank: Did I tell you I have no dishes in my house? Gerald: Yes you did. (Pause) So is everyone around here crazy? Frank: Dude, really, everyone around here is cool.

About that time, a vehicle comes around the corner. Stranger in vehicle: YOU SUCK BYARS!!! A cup of soda is thrown into the scene and hits Frank in his chest splashing soda all over him. The vehicle keeps going. Frank looks at himself then looks at Gerald who is still looking straight ahead. Gerald holds out Frank's cellphone, and Frank takes it and does the walkout. Gerald (after taking a cigarette and putting it between his lips): That was fucked up. Scene shifts to the next day. This big guy (open) comes storming out of his house and looking around. He spots Lou. Lou is leaning against a wall at a birthday party trying to light another cigarette for someone, and enjoying it. The guy comes over and grabs Lou by the shirt. Guy "Look it is my son's birthday! My wife and I are split up and I just got out of the pen. I actually forgot it was his birthday. I'm not gonna lie... I stole the cake. There is a picture of a cake with Son Of A Bitch written on it in icing. Guy "I stole it from this skinny motherfucker. I just took shit off the cake so it says Son. I also stole some candles. Lou looks at the guy nervously. Guy: Don't look at me like I'm a thief! This is IMPORTANT! I seen you over here lighting these peoples' cigarettes. I don't have a light for these candles. So you are going in with me and lighting these candles...unless you don't mind getting fucked up. Lou shakes his head "No" real fast and goes with the guy, looking real sad. Scene shifts back to Frank and Gerald, leaning against a wall staring straight ahead. Gerald: I thought you said that people are cool around here.

Frank: I have learned that it is not the way you take peoples' actions, but how you control your own. You taught me that...and I don't even know your name. You know that I need dishes and I don't even know your name. Gerald: Gerald Frank: Frank...glad to know you. They shake hands. Frank's cellphone begins to ring. Frank looks at the cellphone. Frank: Son of a bitch! Frank hands the phone to Gerald to show him who it is. Gerald: Let me show you how to do it. Gerald answers the phone. Gerald: Hello...no this isn't Frank...in fact, I want to tell y...huh? A sell where? I have never heard of that store. Hold up, I wanted to tell you...you caught a squirrel? How the fuck did you do that? Frank starts laughing. About that time, a vehicle comes around the corner. Stranger in vehicle: YOU SUCK BYARS!!! A bowl of peas comes flying into the scene and hits Frank in the chest. Gerald hangs up the cellphone and hands it to Frank. Frank takes the cellphone and does the walkout. Gerald hangs out for a minute looking straight ahead. Gerald:Who the fuck rides around with a bowl of peas? Gerald takes a cigarette out and puts it between his lips. His cellphone rings. He takes it out of his pocket and answers it. Gerald: Hello...Frank? I don't know...I have to check. Hold on. Gerald bends down and picks up the bowl that contained the peas that were thrown at Frank and examines it. Gerald: I guess it is a pretty good bowl...I think it could start you out in the right direction...actually I think you could get a pretty good haircut out of this. Okay...I'll save it for you and give it to you tomorrow...alright. No...uh...I didn't know that your sister had a tire swing. You've been on it? Credits start rolling while they are still talking.

Gerald: I don't know...well look, Frank...huh?...I have been on a riding mower and can't say that it feels like a tractor because I have never been on a tractor.. Look, man...I don't care what color your curtains are. Gerald puts the cell phone between his legs so that Frank can't hear. Gerald: Son Of A Bitch! Fades to just music and credits. After the credits, one more scene comes in. Lou is still trying to light the birthday candles with his dead lighters. Everytime he keeps trying to light a candle, he nervously looks up at the guy with a sheepish grin. End of E1S1