THE STRAITS TIMES 22 November, 2004 Disability no handicap to forming new friendships

Tan Wee Kuan, who has muscular atrophy, and volunteer Jeremy Tan now good friends By Vivi Zainol As a little boy, Mr Tan Wee Kuan was the subject of regular teasing by the children in his kampung. "They would shout at me to scare me," said Mr Tan, who has a lower-than-average IQ of 58. In adulthood, the painful teasings have been replaced by curious stares as his weak joints, stemming from his spinal muscular atrophy, cause him to walk awkwardly and drag his feet. "I feel sad when they stare at me," said the 27-year-old, struggling to explain his long-held fear of those more able-bodied than him. "I thought they were fierce and we couldn't be friends," he added. Then, three years ago, Mr Jeremy Tan Lian Poon, 61, walked into his life at Touch Ubi Hostel near Eunos, a residence where mildly retarded adults can learn skills so they can live independently. Their relationship has convinced him there are "more people like Uncle Jeremy" with whom he can be friends with. "Uncle Jeremy likes to joke and make me laugh," he said with a smile. For Mr Jeremy Tan, a human resource officer, the experience has given him a new perspective too. "I saw he was lonely, but he was always smiling. So I approached him to teach him line dancing. "Now, we've become good friends. It makes me happy when I can help him feel less sad about his condition." He confessed it was a social worker friend who stirred him out of his apathy to become a volunteer in 1985. "It's only when you go into it you find it's nice to be friends with the disabled. I believe they can contribute to society," he said.

His response to the disabled underlines a significant finding of a recent survey commissioned by the National Council of Social Service (NCSS). It found that three-quarters of people think they can be "true friends" with the disabled. However, half said they would not go up to say "hello" to these people. They also thought the disabled are more difficult to deal with than the able-bodied. A total of 1,210 people took part in the survey funded by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports which was completed in September this year. Almost 85 per cent who took part in it were members of the public, while the rest were disabled people, their caregivers and staff of voluntary welfare organisations. The survey also found that 54 per cent thought the disabled are dependent and have poor self-esteem. But most disabled do not share their view. Two-thirds said they have high selfesteem and are not dependent on caregivers. The same proportion felt the ablebodied do not know their condition and needs. Lack of awareness and interaction may be why only half the public said they are willing to approach the disabled. The NCSS hopes to bring about a change when it launches Singapore's first Disability Awareness Campaign next Monday. The week-long programme, whose theme is A Celebration Of Abilities, aims to drive home the message that "disabled does not mean unable". Among the activities planned is a parade along the Orchard Road pedestrian mall where participants will distribute Friend Of The Disabled stickers to commemorate the International Day of Disabled Persons on Dec 3, and a weekend carnival at Singapore Expo on Dec 4 and 5. Acting Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports, Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, will launch the carnival which will have, among other things, performances by the disabled.