Its always the ones you least expect By Daniella R

Based on my imagination

Copyright 2012

Cast of Characters AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH: MR TOWNSEND: A rich, english Aristocrat. She is quite dramatic and a little self obssessed. He is madly in love with Agatha, but her feelings for him arent mutual. He is very good at solving crimes, and he tends to show off about his status in the policeforce. A french detective that was the best guy that they could get on such short notice, not much is known about him. Just a co worker to the chief policeman. Another one of his co workers Very formal and polite. Again, formal and polite. Formal and polite. Speaks with a cheesy american accent, quite shouty, a stereotypical commercial voice.

CHIEF POLICEMAN:

DETECTIVE JEAN PAUL:

POLICEMAN: POLICEMAN 2: PARTY GUEST: PARTY GUEST 2: PARTY GUEST 3: NARRATOR:

ITS ALWAYS THE ONES YOU LEAST EXPECT SCENE 1:INT.-AGATHAS MANSION-9PM SOUND:POLITE TALKING IN BACKGROUND MUSIC:CLASSICAL PLAYING QUIETLY IN THE BACKGROUND MR TOWNSEND This a such a splendid Party Ms. Williamsworth. The wine is most sublime. AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Why thank you Mr. Townsend, I love to host my parties in style! MR TOWNSEND And may I also add, you are looking most beautiful on this fine evening. AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Oh Mr Townsend, you do know how to charm a woman. MR TOWNSEND Indeed I do! (PARTY GUEST INTERRUPTS THE CONVERSATION) PARTY GUEST Geoffrey Townsend, my god I havent seen you in years, how have you been? MR TOWNSEND I have been most marvellous, and yourself? (TALKING SLOWLY FADES OUT AS THEY MOVE AWAY FROM MICROPHONE) AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Looks like Ive been eating too much of the seafood, better pop to the lavatory! SOUND:HIGH HEELED FOOTSTEPS FADING OUT SCENE 2:INT.-AGATHAS BATHROOM-9PM (SOUNDS AT THE START HAPPEN QUICKLY) SOUND:HIGH HEELED FOOTSTEPS FADING IN SOUND: LOCKING OF DOOR SOUND: TOILET FLUSH SOUND: UNLOCKING DOOR (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

SOUND: MAN RUNNING SOUND: WOMANS SCREAM SOUND: CROWD OF PEOPLE RUNNING IN (RUNNING STOPS BEFORE SPEAKING BEGINS) PARTY GUEST Agatha, Agatha! PARTY GUEST 2 Look the windows open! MR TOWNSEND Agathas brooch is on the floor, she never goes anywhere without it. There is something very wrong. PARTY GUEST Somebody call the police! MR TOWNSEND Dear Agatha, where are you my love? SCENE 3:INT.-AGATHAS BATHROOM-9:30PM MUSIC:CLASSICAL MUSIC SLOWLY FADES OUT CHIEF POLICEMAN Chief Policeman Harrison Montgomery at your service, what seems to be the problem? MR TOWNSEND I am sure youve heard of Agatha Elizabeth Williamsworth? CHIEF POLICEMAN Of course, who hasnt? MR TOWNSEND We believe she has been kidnapped. CHIEF POLICEMAN Tell me the whole story. SOUND: TICKING CLOCK FOR A FEW SECONDS MR TOWNSEND And we found her brooch on the floor, she would never go anywhere without it.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: CHIEF POLICEMAN No need to worry, well find Agatha, well get a detective right on it. Do you have a telephone?

3.

MR TOWNSEND I am quite sure Agatha has one in her office, follow me, its just along the hallway. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY SCENE 4:INT.-AGATHAS OFFICE-9:45PM SOUND: FOOTSTEPS WALKING IN SOUND: DOOR CLOSING MR TOWNSEND The telephone is just over there on the desk. CHIEF POLICEMAN Aha, thank you very much. SOUND: ROTARY PHONE DIALLING SOUND: RINGING TONE CHIEF POLICEMAN Harrison here, were going to need a detective at... MR TOWNSEND 42 Orchid Road CHIEF POLICEMAN 42 Orchid road, as fast as you can please. Thank you, bye. (SPEAKING TO MR TOWNSEND) The detective will be here in 15 minutes, why dont we head back downstairs. MR TOWNSEND Right behind you. SCENE 5:INT-AGATHAS MANSION-10PM POLICEMAN Detective Jean Paul here for you Sir. CHIEF POLICEMAN Who? POLICEMAN I havent heard of him before myself Sir, best detective the station could find at such short notice.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

CHIEF POLICEMAN Hell have to do. (JEAN PAUL ENTERS) Hello Detective, I am the Chief of the police force, you can call me Mr. Montgomery. JEAN PAUL VOICE: SPEAKS WITH A FRENCH ACCENT Bonjour, what is the problem ere? CHIEF POLICEMAN Havent you been briefed? JEAN PAUL Non? CHIEF POLICEMAN Walk with me, SOUND: WALKING Kidnapping, Agatha Elizabeth Williamsworth, most likely gone out through the bathroom window. We know its a kidnapping because her precious brooch was left on the floor, she never goes anywhere without it according to her closest friend, Mr Townsend. The bathroom is just through here. SCENE 6:INT-AGATHAS BATHROOM-10:05PM SOUND:CAMERA SHUTTER NOISES AND QUITE BUT SERIOUS TALKING CHIEF POLICEMAN Heres the scene of the crime. So, what do you think? JEAN PAUL Hmmm, aha! Look at this, looks like the kidnapper dropped this. CHIEF POLICEMAN It seems very convenient that they dropped a piece of paper with an address on it... JEAN PAUL Seems like he is inexperienced, non? Anyway, what is the address? CHIEF POLICEMAN 59 Blossom Way, thats just a couple of streets away (TO THE OTHER OFFICERS) Alright boys, were taking a little trip down to 59 Blossom Way. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

VOICE: SPOKEN WITH A REVERB TO GIVE THE EFFECT OF A THOUGHT JEAN PAUL Finally, one of my plans is working... SCENE 7:EXT.-59 BLOSSOM WAY-10:15PM SOUND: KNOCKING DOOR CHIEF POLICEMAN (SARCASTICALLY) Looks like nobodys home. Alright, lets get this door open. SOUND: BANGING AS IF DOOR IS BEING FORCED OPEN SCENE 8:INT.-59 BLOSSOM WAY-10:15PM CHIEF POLICEMAN Follow me SOUND: FOOTSTEPS MR TOWNSEND Aaaaaaah! What are you doing in my house! This is an invasion of privacy! CHIEF POLICEMAN A note of paper was left behind in Agathas bathroom, and your address was written on it, can you explain this? MR TOWNSEND I didnt do anything! CHIEF POLICEMAN Where were you at 9PM this evening Mr. Townsend? MR TOWNSEND I was at the party of course, Id just gone to the... (FADES OUT AT THE END OF THE SENTENCE) CHIEF POLICEMAN To the where Mr. Townsend? MR TOWNSEND To the mens lavatory, this isnt what it looks like! CHIEF POLICEMAN Oh, I think it is, you kidnapped her because you couldnt bear to see her flirting with other men, you wanted her all for yourself. By kidnapping her, you could achieve that, and she would be all yours. Take him down to the station. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

MR TOWNSEND (FADES OUT) Get off me! I didnt do it! Get off! How dare you touch me! CHIEF POLICEMAN Im glad weve got that cleared up! JEAN PAUL Thanks to me of course. CHIEF POLICEMAN (SARCASTICALLY) Yes, because you did all of the work. JEAN PAUL If it werent for me, you would have never found the paper! CHIEF POLICEMAN I saw it as I soon as I walked in the room. JEAN PAUL Then why did you not pick it up? CHIEF POLICEMAN (SIGH) Thank you for your help Jean Paul, we dont need your assistance anymore. JEAN PAUL If thats how youre going to treat me, then I am going! CHIEF POLICEMAN That is what I just asked you to do. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY CHIEF POLICEMAN Thats what you get when you work with the French. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY SCENE 9: INT.-POLICE STATION-8AM SOUND: FOOTSTEPS POLICEMAN Good nights sleep Sir?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: CHIEF POLICEMAN Rough, as always, yourself?

7.

POLICEMAN Good thanks. The interrogation of Mr. Townsend will be in Room 12. CHIEF POLICEMAN Thank you. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS STOP, DOOR OPENS. POLICEMAN 2 Ill be accompanying you Chief. CHIEF POLICEMAN Its nice to have a bit of backup, alright lets begin. So, Mr. Townsend, could you please tell us again where you were at 9PM yesterday evening? MR TOWNSEND I was in the mens lavatory, but that doesnt mean anything! CHIEF POLICEMAN I think it does Mr. Townsend, did anybody see you go in there? MR TOWNSEND Probably one of the party guests. CHIEF POLICEMAN How close were you to Ms. Williamsworth? MR TOWNSEND We were together for a while, but then we broke up, we decided to stay friends. CHIEF POLICEMAN Why did you break up? MR TOWNSEND She said that I was too clingy, and that I got jealous whenever she spoke with other men, which is entirely preposterous! Then she said that shed still like to stay good friends with me, and that was that. CHIEF POLICEMAN I see, do you still have feelings for her? MR TOWNSEND Well, you see, yes I do. SOUND: DOOR OPENS (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.

POLICEMAN Sir would you mind pausing the interview, we have something of great importance to show you. CHIEF POLICEMAN Ill be right back. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS THEN DOOR OPENING THEN CLOSING POLICEMAN We found this just on the doorstep. CHIEF POLICEMAN A note? " Ms. Williamsworth is who you seek, better hurry up because youve only got 1 week". Get it checked for fingerprints and get Mr. Townsend sent back to his cell, well have to continue the interrogation later. I have a feeling that we have wrongly arrested Mr. Townsend. Better be calling Jean Paul back in. ADVERTISMENT NARRATOR We interrupt this broadcast to bring you some shocking news about the brand new Formulagrow MUSIC: FORMULA GROW JINGLE NARRATOR Formulagrow has just won the award for best plat fertilizer in all of the USA! Formulagrow triples the speed of which your plants grow and its packed with nutrients to give them a healthy boost, so what are you waiting for, get your Formulagrow today! MUSIC: FORMULA GROW JINGLE NARRATOR Now lets get back to Its always the ones you least expect. SCENE 10:INT.-POLICE STATION-9AM CHIEF POLICEMAN Ah, Jean Paul, its such a ... (PAUSE) pleasure to see you again. JEAN PAUL And you. So, Ive read the note. What are we going to do?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: CHIEF POLICEMAN Well we should.. (INTERRUPTS) POLICEMAN 2 Another notes turned up.

9.

CHIEF POLICEMAN Thank you, let me take a look, "If you want to see Ms. Williamsworth again, then one million pounds is what I must gain. If you accept this offer, then leave the money behind the lamppost outside the grocery shop, and dont try and look out for me, itll be a waste of time." So Jean Paul, youre the detective, any ideas? JEAN PAUL It must be Mr. Townsend. CHIEF POLICEMAN But he couldnt have sent us the notes, he was locked up in a cell. JEAN PAUL Unless he has an accomplice, and theyre going to split the money. CHIEF POLICEMAN Hmmmm... that could be a possibility, but Mr. Townsend would never let another man take care of Ms. Williamsworth, you know how jealous he gets, no, I dont think its him. But, we should keep him in his cell, just in case. JEAN PAUL I think it is him, I am the detective here, I think you should be listening to my opinion. CHIEF POLICEMAN And I am the chief of the policeforce here, and I am employing you, so I will be making the decisions. JEAN PAUL ...Do you mind if I copy can look into them? CHIEF POLICEMAN Go ahead...? CHIEF POLICEMAN (WITH A REVERB EFFECT TO SOUND LIKE A THOUGHT) Im sure Ive seen that writing before, of course! The piece of paper with Mr. Townsends address on it, therefore, it was written by Jean Paul? He planted it, I shouldve realised all along. (CONTINUED) down the ransom notes, so I

CONTINUED: (EFFECT ENDS) Detective, could you come with me please? JEAN PAUL Yes, of course. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS CHIEF POLICEMAN Just in here. SOUND: DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING JEAN PAUL Why are we in the interrogation room? CHIEF POLICEMAN Please take a seat. JEAN PAUL Why are we... (INTERRUPTS) CHIEF POLICEMAN Where were you yesterday at 9PM? JEAN PAUL I was, well I was, I was at the pub. CHIEF POLICEMAN Were you? Can anyone confirm this?

10.

JEAN PAUL Well everybody there was quite drunk, so they probably wont remember seeing me. CHIEF POLICEMAN They wont will they? Anybody woukd think you were lying, the way your eye keeps twitching and how youre avoiding eye contact with me. I think that you kidnapped Ms. Williamsworth, but why? JEAN PAUL Ok, youve got me, I did it. I thought that if I kidnapped her, and then solved the crime, framing Mr. Townsend then I would become famous, and also rich. I want to be the next Sherlock Holmes, but I guess thats not a possibility anymore. CHIEF POLICEMAN Well you are going to be famous, but for all the wrong reasons. Jean Paul, I am arresting you for kidnapping and for trying to frame an innocent person. Now, where is Ms. Williamsworth being held? (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

11.

JEAN PAUL If I told you that it would spoil the fun, now wouldnt it? CHIEF POLICEMAN You do realise youre making your sentence longer. JEAN PAUL Whats a few more months? Have fun. MUSIC: CLASSICAL MUSIC SCENE 11:INT.-POLICE STATION-9:30AM CHIEF POLICEMAN Right officers, if you were a fame and fortune seeking french detective wannabe, where would you hide the person you kidnapped? POLICEMAN It was Jean Paul? Why? CHIEF POLICEMAN Its a long story, Ill fill you in later. Right now, we need to find Ms. Williamsworth. So, any ideas? POLICEMAN Well, theres not a lot of places o hide a kidnapee in the village. POLICEMAN 2 The hotel? CHIEF POLICEMAN No, its right in the centre of the village. POLICEMAN At his house? CHIEF POLICEMAN He doesnt have one here, hes been staying in the hotel. POLICEMAN 2 The pub? I heard it has a basement that you can get to from the back. CHIEF POLICEMAN I think youve got it! Lets get some people down there.

12. SCENE 12:EXT.-BACK OF PUB-10AM CHIEF POLICEMAN Heres the door to the basement. Do you think you could get it open? POLICEMAN No problem. SOUND: DOOR BEING FORCED OPEN, CREAKING POLICEMAN There we go Sir. CHIEF POLICEMAN Thank you. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS FADING OUT Scene 13:INT.-PUB BASEMENT-10:05AM AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Who is it? Hello? CHIEF POLICEMAN Ms. Williamsworth? Is that you? AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Who are you? CHIEF POLICEMAN Were from the police. AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Youve come to save me! Oh thank you, Im tied up over here in the corner. CHIEF POLICEMAN Oh yes, I see you! Lets get you untied. SOUND: STRUGGLING WITH ROPES AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Thank you, thank you, can I get out of this hideous place? CHIEF POLICEMAN I am so sorry you had o be stuck down here, we have arrested your kidnapper, Mr. Jean Paul am I right? AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH I didnt catch his name, but he had a very strong french accent.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

13.

CHIEF POLICEMAN Thats definitely Jean Paul. AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH I hope you dont mind, but could you take me to Mr. Townsend? CHIEF POLICEMAN Of course, he is at the station, well give you a lift. AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Thank you very much officer. SCENE 14:INT.-POLICE STATION-10:20 MR TOWNSEND Agatha, theyve found you, oh Agatha! AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Mr. Townsend! Oh it was terrible! MR TOWNSEND Youre safe now, I will never let anything like this happen to you again. AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH I cannot believe it took me this long to realise it, but I love you Geoffrey. MR TOWNSEND And I have always loved you Agatha. AGATHA ELIZABETH WILLIAMSWORTH Oh Geoffrey! CHIEF POLICEMAN Job well done boys. POLICEMAN And yourself Chief. POLICEMAN 2 Heres to another solved case! CHIEF POLICEMAN And another criminal off the streets. POLICEMAN How about we pop down to the pub? Get ourselves some beers.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

14.

CHIEF POLICEMAN Ready when you are! MUSIC: CLASSICAL MUSIC THE END