10 reasons why sex is good medicine Not that you needed another reason to make love, but having

sex can actually ton e your muscles, burn calories and heal what ails you By Barbara Pease and Allan Pease 10 reasons why sex is good medicine 1. Sex cures mild depression by releasing endorphins into the bloodstream, produ cing a sense of euphoria and a feeling of well-being. 2. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. No o ne ever gets a stuffy nose during lovemaking. 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinne r. 4. Sex tones up just about every muscle in the body, and its more fun than swimmi ng twenty laps. 5. When women make love, they produce large amounts of estrogen, which makes hai r shiny and skin smooth. 6. The more often you have sex, the more sex you will be offered. A sexually act ive body secretes large quantities of pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite se x crazy. 7. Sex is around ten times more effective as a tranquilizer than Valium. 8. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay and plaque buildup. 9. Sex relieves headaches by releasing the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. 10. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chance of suffering dermatitis, rash es, and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes the skin glow.

How much sex is normal? Does frequency really matter when it comes to having a "good" sex life? Find out how to tell how much sex is right for you and your partner By Josephine Brouard How much sex is normal? Most people are reluctant to talk about their sex life, and thats fair. Some thin gs are sacred. But do you get the feeling that people are reluctant to talk because the event

typically fails to live up to all the hype? When I confide to friends that Im having sex less often than the much-quoted aver age of a couple of times a week, my friends then typically admit the same. Sex life? What sex life? is a common refrain among my peers. Female friends often voice a wish that thei r husbands didnt want sex so often, while male friends occasionally admit to daydreaming about s ex with other women. Theres nothing shocking about these divergent attitudes to sex; what is surprisin g, though, is that each gender tends to forget the others biological hard-wiring. In his bo ok Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, John Gray describes the different ways in which men and w omen reach arousal. Men tend to respond to the sensualtouch, taste, smell or visual cues. Fo r women, arousal is usually a mental operation, requiring time to switch off from the days activities and then to switch on for pleasure. Quite often, its the delay between womens and m ens responses that leads to sexual incompatibility. The solution? Sexual therapists the world over say the fastest way to a good sex life is to communicate with your partner. Lots of long-term relationships see libidos bott om out during busy, stressful or child-rearing times. The secret to intimacy, say therapists, is to ensure that not often does not lead to never. But apart from that rule, almost anything go es. Sex therapist Heide McConkey sometimes sees clients who believe they have a sexu al problem when they really dont. Men, she reports, often cite anxiety about their performance. A lot of men complain theyre only maintaining their erection for three to five minutes, she say s. Congratulations, I say. Youre normal. McConkey says couples also complain that they feel enormous pressure to pep up t heir sex life. I saw a couple recently who were clearly deeply in love. But, they admitted, afte r almost 20 years of marriage, they werent making love very often. They wanted to know what they should do. McConkey probed and both partners admitted they were content with the status quo. If both parties are happy having sex three times a day, then that is a satisfactory agreement. Similarly, if a couple both feel okay about sex once a month, then its ample. McConkey, who has counselled many people over the years, feels there is still a lack of real education in our society about sex. I get people in their 20s and 30s, asking wha t will happen to them if they masturbate. I tell them masturbation is not only normal, its hea

lthy! What about shyness? Not everyone has the courage to tell a partner how to kiss o r perform oral sex. Therapists suggest its best to talk about what you like and what you want m ore of, rather than emphasizing the negative. When you can relate honestly and openly to your partner, thats when the juices flow. How Canadians measure up The Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey found 55 percent of Canadians say they usually climax during sex. Heres how we compare to people around the world: Sixty-six percent of Italians, Spaniards, Mexicans and South Africans reach orgasm almost every time. 59 percent of Americans usually reach orgasm. 27 percent of Japanese and 24 percent of Chinese are likely to have an orgas m.

7 reasons why sex is good for you Research from around the world encourages us to embrace sex with gusto. Here s w hy it s so healthy By Josephine Brouard 1. It helps you breathe easier Sex is reputedly a natural antihistamine, helping to combat hay fever and asthma symptoms. 2. You ll look younger A good sex life is a key to youthful looks, according to a study of 3,500 people age 18 to 102 conducted by the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland. Researchers attributed t his to reductions in stress, greater contentment and better sleep, all of which are also associate d with sexual activity. 3. It can help your body fight disease Engaging in sex once or twice a week produces 30 percent higher levels of immuno globulin A, which boosts your bodys immune system. Scientists have also found that having an activ e sex life may even lower your risk of developing cancer, heart disease and stroke. On top of a ll that, its a remedy for colds and flu. 4. It burns calories Like any exercise, sexual intercourse burns fat and caloriesabout 96 calories in 20

minutes for a 150-lb. person. That means itll burn off the calories from that ex tra glass of wine at dinner (which may have been what put you in the mood in the fir st place!). 5. It reduces pain Studies show that vaginal stimulation results in increased pain tolerance, and pleasurable self-stimulation of the clitoris also has an analgesic effect. Researchers report that this type of stimulation can ease the pain of menstrual cramps, arthritis, migraine and other conditions. 6. It helps you live longerif you do it often enough A Welsh longitudinal study examined the relationship between mortality and frequency of sexual activity. Researchers found that the risk of dying in any one year was 50 percent lower among men who had sex twice or more a week than among men who had sex less than once a month. Even when controlling for such factors as age, social class and smoking status, the study concluded that the more sex, the better. 7. It promotes a feeling of well-being Sexual activity fosters everything from sexual and reproductive health to happin ess. And one study of more than 1,800 people found that surges in oxytocin and endor phins (which have an apparent sedative effect) occurred as a result of orgasm, explain ing why sex often leads to falling asleep.

5 myths about love Five ways love is misunderstoodand the truth about how to love someone By Lesley Young Love is as critical to our bodies as water. Research shows that we need love emotionally and physically in order to stay healthy. Love is not sentimentality or something created by our culture, says Sue Johnson, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight. It is an emotional bond and we are hardwired to find mates and create that bond. Only in the past 15 years have scientists really started to understand what love is all about, she adds. So its little wonder some of our notions about love are mistaken, especially given all the fairytale endings perpetuated by pop culture. Here are five myths about love busted (and then mended). The myth: If love is meant to happen, itll happen. Almost nothing good in life happens by chance, yet many of us leave finding a life partner up to fate. The truth: Love is learned. Where else in life would you ever take that approach? Would you think, Oh well, if learning French is meant to happen, it will just happen? asks Diana Kirschner, a psychologist in New York City and author of Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. Love is an important activity that takes attention and intention, she adds. Sure chemistry between two people happens. But lasting love has to be worked on, nurtured and allowed to grow. And of course, you learn by making mistakes. The myth: We just fell out of love.

More often than not, couples drift apart when they dont know how to share their emotional needs. Alienation and distrust follow. Johnson says that we put up a wall to protect ourselves, ironically reinforcing what we fear most: that our partner of choice isnt there for us or that we are simply unlovable. The myth: Men and women love differently. Gender stereotypes lead us to believe that, when it comes to emotions, men and women are polar opposites: real men dont cry; women are never satisfied, etc. The truth: The need to be loved is universally shared. Women who believe all men really only want sex are underestimating their partners emotional depth. Johnson explains that our culture does not teach men how to ask for emotional connection and reassurance, whereas they are taught how to ask for sex (and so they do, often when they are feeling emotionally insecure). Men think if they ask for reassurance women will despise them. But if you give them a chance you will discover they just want to be desired, too. When it boils down to deeper emotions, we have a lot in common. The myth: If the sex fades, so does the love. Johnson says that so much emphasis in adult love is placed on sex. We think love is sex. The truth: Love is about way more than the sex. It is possible to have a long-term relationship that is still wildly passionate, but it is rare, says Johnson. You have to work at sex because it is novelty that nourishes the infatuation and obsession that underscore new relationships. Those feelings are not love. Once they fade, if a deeper emotional connection is there, even better sex is possible, according to Johnson. She says research shows people who have sex the most and enjoy it the most are long-term married couples. The truth: You choose love. Love is not passive; it is an active event, according to Johnson. You need to stay involved, and be open and engaged. Securely attached people get angry, fight and hurt one another. But unlike people with an insecure emotional bond, they are able to turn around and talk about their feelings right away. In other words, precisely when you feel the mos t vulnerable and scared, you have to actively decide to take a risk and reach out to your partner, and in return try to give him reassurance, she says. Its the only way to secure the bond. The myth: Real love isnt about dependency. We feel ashamed of our deeper attachments and emotional insecurities because in North American culture, we are taught that needing someone (especially true for men) is a sign of weakness. The truth: A secure loving bond enables independence. Love is truly a source of emotional and physical resilience, says Johnson. We are mammals. Our bodies were designed to curl up around each other. We need to know we can call out to someone and they will come, as children, and that doesnt go away when we are adults. Its physiological. Related: