Aria Wong 499116068

Explain why a particular adjective describes you perfectly

If I have to choose an adjective to describe myself, I will choose the word cynical. Maybe cynical is not a positive word for me to describe myself. But after going to college, everything I thought can be described by the word cynical. At the first year of college, I may have some emotional disorder problems at that time, every little thing in diary life can make me angry. From a group photo on Facebook to a young man sitting on the Priority Seat on the MRT can gets on my nerves. Although I am not so sensitive now, but I still hate people post photos that have a crowd of people and I barely know anyone there, and the photo still show up in my facebook wall every time I open my facebook page. I hate that kind of pictures is not because I know no one there; I hate it because I can see the fake friendships in those pictures. When I see a bunch of people were taking a group picture after a birthday party, I wonder how many of them care whose party they were attending. My roommate whom I spent my last two years with, have been spent several thousand dollars buying birthday gifts to some guys that she barely talked to. But she bought me nothing at my birthday. Sometimes I think some people only make friends with someone that are useful, someone that can help them to get priority. Someone like me can hardly make new friends at this age because I cannot bring any fortune and priority to them, and many people would not consider me as their friend, unless they have to, like me and my roommate. We are friends just because we are roommate, and seem like we will spent the whole college life together, although we are not that close as we seem, we still hiding the hate so that we would not be so awkward when

we living together. According to the definition on the dictionary, cynical means believing the worst of human nature and motives. And that is my perspective of life. Basically, I think people do everything for a purpose, and when the conflict of interests happens, close friends can become enemy. Everyone is a selfish individual, human being never change since we have been created in the world. About two thousand years ago, a famous philosopher in ancient China said people are born evil, he said everyone born like an animal, and only education can change people from their evilness and wildness. I read a novel called Lord of the files, the story is talking about a bunch of kids suffer from an airplane accident on an uninhabited island. At the beginning, they were organized as a group, then the leader cannot accept different opinions, so the group separate in two opposite groups, one of them think they should wait for the rescue and the other think they should hunt for food and save their own lives. Finally they ended up in eating a kid. My opinion is the evilness exist in every one of us, people who want to doubt that are hypocrites. It is not wrong that we fight for ourselves. We are living in a world which is full of unfairness, discrimination and insincerity. I just cant be so optimistic in a world like this. My cynical view of the world is a result of my poor interpersonal skills. Since I was a child, I cannot make friends so easily. I am not that kind of active kids can be so comfortable to talk to strangers. When I was in a day care in my neighborhood, Ive found out many kids have already judge other kids appearance to choose friends, especially the most popular kids. So I became the one that no one picked me as their friend. That is the first time I started feel distrust about this world. When I grow up as a teenager, because of the rebelliousness of puberty, I became as cynical as I never been. I didnt care how the popular kids see me; I wanted to be special and different with the Mainstream kids. But it didnt help me to make more friends and the

mainstream kids called me freak. I used to think there is many difference between Asian high school and western high school, but basically theyre same, they all have bullies, popular kids, freaks and nerds if the TV series and movies are true. The popular kids have a rule of their appearance. They have the same shortened uniforms skirt, same haircut, even same style of calligraphy (we all know Chinese words are square-shaped, but they prefer to write Chinese in circular shape.) They fill up my admiration for their strict dress code. But their behaviors are not that admirable. In my hometown, popular kids in junior high have a hobby. They claim theyre members of some gangster, so other students will admire them. Their favorite activity is call a bunch of friends and have a group beat to someone they dont like. They called it to pick up someone from school. I dont know if other schools student do that too, but I know except my junior high school, there are few schools student like to join the gangsters. They are just proud of being a criminal, or dating a criminal. My best friend used to join the popular kids at junior high. At that year she practiced her calligraphy and gets the same haircut with them. Because I am not the favorite person that they like, so she started to alienate me. After these progresses, she successfully became one of them. Two years later she confessed that at that time she was shame of me, even planed to call her friends to beat me at the school toilet just because I was a freak. I translate it as freak but the original phase was a Cantonese foul language which means extremely stupid. I was shock when she told me this; I thought I have an okay junior high school live, I did not know being a freak in junior high could put me in danger. After this experience, I started to worry about the mainstream people would hate me for being a freak. I became invisible in high school; the popular kids didnt even know who I am after being my classmate for a year. Thanks to that my high school life was plain but safe. But my cynical views already have set up in my mind

and I know it is hard to change anymore. I cannot be objective about humanity, and I always keep a safe distance with other people. I hate the school spoils those bullies, and let them get away after they did so many unforgivable crimes to other students, physically and emotionally hurt other students. Why can they get away from that? After graduate from high school some of them can also get the recommend letters from the school to go to a good college. They can pretend nothing happened and go on with their life, but how about the kids that they bullied? Can they forget all this bad memories from high school and go on? I dont think so. I hate this sociality to let so much unfairness happen. I can wait to see someday, the girls wanted to beat me in toilet see how successful I will be, and let them know they cant always be the winner. Facebook makes me fretful and cynical too. I suppose to be thankful and peaceful because I have everything I need now, but facebook always annoys me with much status of old friends from high school. You may say I can just refuse their friend requests. But I just want to be there when some of them have an abortion or get fired from a job. I admit it is not good to think that way, but everyone has such crazy ideas in their mind. As I said, people are selfish. Finally, I think this cynical point of view makes me become more intellectual than just being blindly optimistic. I can see the world clearly and have my own opinion to the current events. Being so cynical makes me feel growing up. Although I think people are born evil, but it doesnt mean I lost hope and stop trust anyone. Like I just said it helps me to beware of some bad guys. This personality did make me have some unnecessary anger at some points but it makes me a special individual, so I think it makes me a better person.