Director’s Guide

@
 
®
 Director’s Guide

®
Edition

@
®

Book by MARSHALL BRICKMAN and RICK ELICE

Music and Lyrics by ANDREW LIPPA

Based on Characters Created by Charles Addams

Young@Part® Edition Adapted by Marc Tumminelli

Young@Part® Edition originally produced at

Broadway Workshop in New York City.

The materials contained herein are copyrighted by the authors, are not for sale, and may only be used
for the single specifically licensed live theatrical production for which they were originally provided.
Any other use, transfer, reproduction or duplication including print, electronic or digital media
is strictly prohibited by law, except as allowed in your Digital Delivery License from TRW.

young@part ®

1180 Avenue of the Americas, Sixth Floor

New York, NY 10036
Toll Free: 866-378-9758
646-736-3232
Fax: 212-643-1322
www.theatricalrights.com
 The Addams Family Young@Part Edition
All Books

Table of Contents
Director’s Guide/Student Books/Piano-Vocal Score

Song Title Director & Piano - Student Tracks #

# Student Vocal Vocal
Scripts Book
1 Overture p. 1 p. 1 - 1
2 When You’re an Addams 1 2 1 1
(cont’d)
2a We Have a Problem 6 19 - 2,3
3 Fester’s Manifesto 8 21 7 4
3a Honor Roll 14 23 8 5
4 Pulled 14 24 9 6,7,8
5 One Normal Night 20 31 12 9,10
5a Morticia’s Entrance 27 42 - 11
6 But Love Reprise #1 34 43 17 12
6a But Love Reprise #2 36 45 18 13
7 Gomez’s “What If” 40 47 19 14
8 What If 44 50 20 15,16,17
9 Full Disclosure (Part 1) 49 58 23 18,19,20,
21,22,23
10 Full Disclosure (Part 2) 55 66 26 24,25,
26,27
11 Entr’acte 59 72 - 28
12 Just Around the Corner 60 73 29 29
12a Into “The Moon and Me” 63 80 30
13 The Moon and Me 64 82 32 30
(cont’d)
14 Crazier Than You 67 86 34 31,32,
33,34
14a Bedtime Story 76 102 - 35,36
15 Live Before We Die 80 104 41 37
16 Tango de Amor 81 109 - 38
17 Finale: When You’re an Addams 85 110 43 39
18 Bows/Exit Music 86 114 - 40
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

THE ADDAMS FAMILY

Young@Part® Edition Director’s Guide
Introduction
The Set: Page 6
Whatever kind of set you
choose to design, its first
function is to help tell the
musical’s story.

Lighting: Page 7
Lighting design will be largely
controlled by what you have to
work with. Let’s get spooky.
WEDNESDAY: Can’t we all just act normal?
Sound: Page 8
GRANDMA: Define normal.
Your kid’s voices, lines and
songs being heard clearly Welcome to the Director’s Club!
should be the focus of your
approach to sound design. If you are an experienced, ‘I got this, always wanted
to direct it, saw it on tour, let’s get started’ kind of
Props: Page 9 director…you can probably shred and recycle this
part of your authorized show materials. We’re
THE ADDAMS FAMILY props
keeping it concise, though, so a quick scan might
are fun to build and relatively
help with how the various icons in this guide work,
easy to find…especially
around Oct 31! some specifics about THE ADDAMS FAMILY,
and other useful information.
Sound: Page 10
If you are new to the experience, the teacher,
Striving for Hi-Fi high-fives! parent, volunteer or person begged, harassed and
otherwise tricked into making magic with young
Casting: Pages 11-14 people through musical theatre…THANK YOU!
We’re here for you. If there’s something not
Casting this show is an
covered in this handy guide, email us, call us, fax, or
opportunity to involve any and
visit NYC and come up to the office (make an
every kid in your school or
youth theatre that wants to join appointment, people). We love to discuss our
the fun. musicals and bringing them to your stage.

1a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

The Notes in Your

Director’s Guide
A note on the notes of your
THE ADDAMS FAMILY
YOUNG@PART® EDITION:

• The notes are only

suggestions. You know best
what to do for your show
and your kids.

• The guide’s notes are

generally written for newer
directors.

• The notes are by no means

comprehensive. They
represent some things
learned in the initial pilot
Get to Know Your Stage Directions
productions of the
Young@Part® edition, and Stage directions are a set of terms that avoid this convo:
some hopefully fun and
“Um, to YOUR right,” “Or, cross to my left.” No. “Cross stage
informative things to
right.” “Move upstage left.” Like that. For the actor, upstage is
consider when producing
directly AWAY from the audience in a traditional proscenium
the show.
theater. Down stage is toward the audience. Right is right and
left is left for the actors.

Stage Directions-Top View

UPStage Right
USR UC Up
Center
UPStage LEFT
USL
•
For instance:
“After you take the shrubbery,
start crossing down left as you
continue the song.”

SR
Stage
Right
C
Center
Stage
SLStage
Left
• “Exit through the up center
doors.”

• “Make sure you hit this mark,

down center, right at that line,
Down which will leave you in your light
Center

DC
for the end of the scene.”
Down Stage Right Down Stage LEFT
DSR DSL

Audience

2a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

Keys to Success
THE COMPANY
You and Your Team In the theatre we form a company with each new show.
Of course, casting is everyone’s focus before things
Your role as director is that of a have even started. Who will get what role is a natural
leader. You needn’t be an expert to concern for you and your kids. The Company is
succeed. You need planning and a little everyone who is an actor, tech crew, designer or
research. The coach of your kid’s team production team member.
need not be the most knowledgeable about
the sport, but should be one who teaches a BEFORE casting, gather your kids in a circle and form
love of collaboration and teamwork for a a company: “We will put on a show together. All of us.”
common goal. Your mission is the same. Free advice: While their focus will be on what part
they want…do not discuss this except to say, “Casting
Making sure that your show is is my choice with the music director and
entertaining and ready to open
on time would seem like your
top priority. If you were
directing in another venue,
perhaps. In fact, your top
responsibility is to create a
rehearsal environment
that gives a true sense of
belonging,
understanding, empathy,
artistry, collaboration,
membership and
ownership to each kid who
embarks on the journey with
you.

Putting on a musical with kids

is a beautiful teaching
framework. Like much of life,
the rehearsal process is most of choreographer’s input. Your being here in this circle
it. The golden moments on stage are great, with all of us in your Company means that you will
but rehearsal is where we find out what take whatever role you are given in our project and do
we can do together. And then the it to the utmost of your ability.”
performances shine.
If you are a youth theatre or a well-funded school, you
And the reward of applause and may have a team in key technical positions. Awesome!
appreciation from friends and family is If you are in a somewhat different situation and have a
wonderful. But, your time and energy large enough group, consider making your production
given are truly rewarded when a kid an all student crew, establishing that those roles will be
who may not have been recognized for cast as well and when the list goes up, your students
much in their community of friends yet, agree they will perform their role, on or offstage with
gets stopped in the hallway and someone grace, dignity and 100% goodwill to the whole project.
looks them in the eye and says, “You were
really good in the play.”

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Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

The Team
Stage Manager
This is your key position. If you know the vital importance and task list of the stage manager, you
know that this is your field commander. They will run the schedule of your show if all goes well, and
it will function like a well-oiled art machine that you can sit back and enjoy. If you have that parent,
friend or key volunteer who is:

• Organized
• Comfortable addressing the group
• Detail oriented
• Big picture oriented
• Patient

…get them. Or, empower that one kid that you know was born to the role. It is a fact that every
single show with all kids in it has inside of it a stage manager.

MUSIC DIRECTOR
Assistant to the Director
CHOREOGRAPHER
This can be the stage manager’s job as well, but a director needs help to give
LIGHTING DESIGNER more of their time to the cast and the show. Taking notes, getting coffee,
SET DESIGNER water, snacks and generally helping keep the director able to run the
COSTUME DESIGNER rehearsal makes this position a big asset to the process. Sometimes you
SOUND DESIGNER need to make clear that it is Assistant TO the the Director and not
PROP DESIGNER Assistant Director. There is a big difference. If you have someone actually
helping direct the show, they are an Associate Director. Just to be clear.
If you are also
producing your DEPARTMENT HEADS & DESIGNERS
show…consider: Any or all of the positions listed to the left may be you, staff or guest artists,
or any combination thereof. Their job titles are their job descriptions. This
HOUSE MANAGER department head run-down is just a place to start thinking about the
BOX OFFICE MANAGER various casting, rehearsal and design decisions you will be making as you
PUBLICITY MANAGER consider the specific tasks that come together to make the show happen.

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Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

A Tiny Little Bit on Performance Space Types

Read the Script
You and your smart young Company should know a
Becoming an Expert on THE bit about the various types of performance spaces
ADDAMS FAMILY and the opportunities and challenges they can
YOUNG@PART Edition present, so you’ll all be on the same page as to how
you tell your story on stage.

Whatever space
Reading Your Script Like you call ‘the
a Detective Searching theater,’ it will
for Vital Information likely fit into one
of these types:
Reading THE ADDAMS Proscenium
FAMILY Young@Part (traditional framed
several times is your first rectangle view),
step. A director should be Three-quarter
intimately knowledgeable thrust (The stage
about the show they are thrusts into the
leading and reading the audience, with
script multiple times will viewers seated in
give you the tools needed for front of and to both sides of the stage), a black-
mapping your show’s journey box (usually smaller spaces with seating on four
from page to stage. sides and entrances from all sides), theatre-in-
the-round (um, round), and finally, the “multi-
Read it for fun while drinking purpose room, set it up, turn off the overhead
your favorite beverage. fluorescents it’s showtime” kind of a thing.
Wherever your theater space fits in there, make
Read it for finding the story, good design decisions that will make the best use of
the arc, the message, the your space.
thing.

Read it for getting a sense of

how the TRANSITIONS of DRAMA BLOCKS
the show flow from scene to
scene. For rehearsal and
performance, too, Drama
Read it for lights, sound, Blocks are hard to beat. A
props and set. well-built collection of
sturdy wooden squares,
Read it again to envision, rectangles, short stair
imagine, destroy and re-build
units, circles and various
your show in your mind’s eye
to discover the STYLE in shapes, painted basic black, is invaluable. Make sure
which your company will they can be lifted and moved by most cast members.
bring the tale to life.
They can be brought on and off and re-arranged by cast
and crew to become almost any setting and provide
vital levels so your kids can be seen and make pretty
pictures!

5a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

Set
After your careful reads of the script, think about EPISODIC SET
your theater. Your performance space could be a
This type of design, usually
classroom, a multi-purpose we do our shows in the
lunchroom thing, the back of a flatbed Ford, a small done in proscenium theaters
but lovable black-box indie situation or a fully- that have a fly system and
appointed, state of the art, how did we get so lucky plenty of wing space, uses
21st century theater. several different sets
throughout the show to
Wherever you can present to an audience and have a
decent chance of controlling lights and sound…you’re move from place to place.
on. Your approach to your set design will illuminate
your road to a unified SET-FROM-A-BOX
concept for your show,
providing a consistent This type of set completely
framework for your exposes the theatricality of
rehearsals, design elements
the theatre. A large trunk or
and performances.
box is placed upstage center
and anything and everything
needed for the show’s set,
props and costumes, can
nk come out of it. Economical
a y be, thi d
ace m ons an and fun, it doesn’t work for
u r t h e ater sp sses, limitati y o u r
ver yo ths, weakne g e ttin g every show, but can be a
h a te r d s
W ng owa
it’s stre s you move t
about e s a great approach for some
uniti
opport yle set. trance
s titles.
show’s
st
e x i t s and en
y
w man
h e r e and ho
• W vailable?
are a u use a UNIT SET
o r s h ould yo
ge sets
a n y o u chan This type of set is basically
• C set?
unit ge for
r a g e b acksta ? ONE SET that serves as the
sto cast
o u h a ve any ts, and your playing space for your whole
oy se
• D s, costumes, show. New locations are
prop set
p le c a n your done with placing set props,
ny peo ely?
ow ma
• H mmodate saf lighting, costumes, script
acco
exposition and more.

6a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

LIGHTING

Smart, effective use of theatre lighting starts with an assessment of your available
equipment. A standard theater set-up, some kind of lighting board and the ability to
isolate certain parts of the stage, a spotlight, and special effects lights are all things to look
for.

There are a few specific tips about lighting THE ADDAMS FAMILY in your Director’s
Script. Overall, you can really use lighting to tell the story much more economically than
relying on new sets for each setting. If the action moves fast and smooth, careful lighting
use can be the central method of establishing the pace of your show.

KEY & FILL

So you can talk to the LD, here’s

a key term: Key and Fill.

Key light is usually face light, in

several parts of the stage that
are much used spots for actors
to be very well-lit. Key light is
established at important
locations on the set to make sure
that actors faces are seen. Fill
light, fills in the spots where
key light is focused to cover the
stage, hopefully very evenly.

Photos throughout are courtesy of French Woods Festival and The Broadway Workshop
7a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

SOUND TO MIC OR NOT TO MIC

It’s vitally important to your production’s success Whether you use microphones to
to have quality sound reproduction for your
amplify your soloists, everyone, or not
performance tracks. In addition to striving for the
highest audio fidelity and overall quality of sound, at all, the decision is important. The
the volume balance idea is that the singers and actors can
between your cast’s be heard and understood. Modern
voices and the ears are into loud sounds, but in
performance tracks is
keeping the theatre a bit civilized and
a key element for
achieving a great to work on our basic
sound. The choice of acting skills, proper
whether to use mics projection, diction and
for performers is a pacing is always required.
choice dictated by
your performance Mics or no, the overall
space. Modern volume of your playback
audiences are used to the sound level in movie
theaters and that’s pretty loud. While the theatre wants to be loud enough
needn’t be so overpowering, making sure your to be well heard by all, but not
show can be heard and understood is the overpowering the singers.
objective.
If not everyone is wearing a mic, or
Generally, if you are using mics, your audience just principals, be very careful to still
speakers need to be downstage of your actors to try to achieve a balance between the
avoid feedback. This usually means you will need
relative volume of the show.
monitor speakers for your cast to hear the tracks.

THE PLAYBACK SPECIALIST

In rehearsal and performance, you’ll need a very

capable Playback Specialist. The performance
tracks for your show are clearly labeled in the script
and the pace of your show is very much influenced
by the expertise of your playback specialist.
Whether using a CD player or digital playback, the
volume, balance, EQ (equalization) and timing of
the tracks is essential for your success. The
playback op should be the same in rehearsal as
performance and takes their cues from the music
director or stage manager, depending on who is
calling the cues for your show.

8a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

Wednesday’s little bird is set-free from her hand during

“Pulled.” The bit is described in the stage directions,
PROPS but, basically, she, through easy slight of hand,

WEDNESDAY’S BIRDIE
carries the prop bird in her pocket and produces it
THE ADDAMS on cue, as if it alighted on her hand. When she sets it
FAMILY is loaded free, the poor thing loses its head and falls to the
with fun props ground (off stage or into the pit.) This prop can be
that, with the
easily made from a stuffed toy bird, by carefully
style of the show,
can be made for decapitating it and sewing up
next to nothing. See the Prop each side, forming a flat surface
Notes and stage directions at the base of the head and top
throughout the script of the neck. Insert small squares
portion of your guide for of cardboard inside prior to the
specifics like phones, luggage,
sew-up if a bit of extra stability
flowers, foils, etc.
is needed. Then apply light duty
Here are ideas for two more velcro to the head and neck and
challenging props, the Rack push it on. Voila! Rig the bird so Wednesday can simply
for Wednesday to torture insert her thumb into the back of the neck and as she
Pugsley and Wednesday’s
launches the bird, she flicks the head off, to much comic
poor little birdie.
effect. The finger puppet bird pictured here (Robin Finger
Puppet) is available from Folkmanis Puppets© at
www.stuffedsafari.com and Amazon (for around $7).

THE RACK
The rack that Wednesday uses to torture Pugsley in “Pulled” is really a pretty easy build. There is no need to
have a working rack. As pictured below, build a non-practical, free-standing lever device that Wednesday can
use to cue the rope pulls. The ropes should be light duty cord that Pugsley has held in his hands and lightly
tied around his wrists. The two cords simply lead offstage left and right and are pulled up by unseen stage
hands, only to reduce slack and make them appear tight. Pugsley should control all the action, carefully timing
it to Wednesday’s ‘pulls’ on the fake lever.

9a
 Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

COSTUMES
THE AD
DAMS F
We like ou AM
THE ADDAMS r originality ILY
theatre an a
FAMILY is a show d this show nd creativity in the
that involves three more! But, allows for
when costu all that an
distinct styles: The principals ming your d
, GOMEZ Addams
Addams (Living), The LURCH , , MORTI
WEDNE CIA, FES
SDAY and TER
Addams (Ancestors), may want
to stick to PUGSLEY ,
and…The Beinekes. Addams lo giving the , you
ok, as the classic Ch
such unive a c tors alread a rl es
rsal variati y provide
Most of the costumes on on the
characters
Gomez ne .
are pretty obvious as to the look, and if eds a nice
you have a large ensemble, there are undertake suit that s
r.” Mortic ays, “suave
are legend ia ’s hair, ma
very few changes. Wednesday has one ar y, easily ke
Fester sho referenced -up and dress
rather quick change. Look for the uld have a and found
Pugsley m bald cap if .
costume icon in the script portion of ay need a possible an
Wednesda fatt d
the guide for some specifics. There are y needs he ening-up suit.
change to r basic bla
thousands of images available for ab ck an
research on what others have done in the stage d right yellow dress, a d does
irections. s describe
hippie and Gra d in
costuming the show, too. fun and pre ndma is an ancient
Lurch nee tty easy to
ds to be ta costume.
taller than ll…or at le
your famil ast signific
she will ne y if possib antly
ed to ACT le. (Or he
S taller;) o r
S A N C ESTOR THE BE
DAM INEKES
THE AD eart and Alice and
e n s e m b le is the h Ma
directions l are well described
Your Anc
estor ections in the stag
T h e stage dir to a 60’s ti
and expos
itio e
ur sh o w .
e the e-dyed t-sh n. Mal needs to cha
soul of yo n c e . These ar Alice need irt for his
final entra ge
n
e gu id a ge on s a very ye
offer som f r o m t h e Stone A enters wit
h a coat co
llow dress
and a coat.
nce.
ancestors 90s, who
are vering the Sh
Addams a y t h e 1 9 setting up
Morticia’s dress entire e
oh let’s s heir time
. Find a color. Luc la ugh line re ly,
through, io n o f t as is young ferencing
the
the fash Earhart dressed m and in lov
frozen in a n t , a n Amelia by the acto
atching th
e ch
e and can
b e
ht atte n d Bride, r playing th aracterization offere
1960s flig a n d c owgirl, a nerdy… or e role. He d
a cowb o y you more soph can be a b
aviatrix, l. If t im e allows, isticated. it
et a
ce types, lping
renaissan s e m ble by he
e yo u r e n racters.
can involv o w n d is tinct cha
ose their
them cho ok for
ifi e d , d istinct lo
ve a u n can
To achie fi n d in g stuff that
y
roupe, tr as you dis
tress
Fester’s t s t r o y e d
much de ok. Cove
r them
be pretty ie -i s h lo
o a zomb aby powd
er and
clothes t o a t o f b
basic c t coat of
all with a ith a ligh
t h e m w g each
then seal e li k e. Finishin
ard o r t h ds the
Scotchgu o r f r ig h t wigs ad
y
hair spra
with gray
h!
final touc
10a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

Casting
Casting Can Be a Breeze!
It’s audition time. How you choose to conduct
your auditions is extremely important to your On the next three pages is a cast list spread sheet
show’s success, but more important, it is vital for each NAMED role (any character with a line or
that you teach your cast to STOP OBSESSING lines, and/or solo singing or walk-on), and the
OVER CASTING. We all do it, but if we can Ancestor Ensemble.
impart the truth of the matter to kids of a
certain age, it makes their path easier and more ADDAMS has three distinct groups:
fulfilling in so many other pursuits. The Family Addams (GOMEZ, MORTICIA,
LURCH, FESTER, GRANDMA, WEDNESDAY
The fact of the matter is that casting is a and PUGSLEY.
personal choice, influenced by many
factors. Ten different directors, going through The Beinekes: MAL, ALICE and LUCAS.
the exact same audition pool, would likely have
ten very different cast lists. If you’ve formed a The Ancestor Ensemble and FESTER.
Company, as suggested earlier in this guide,
Fester leads the Ancestors magic and plays with
while casting can still be a trying time for those
both the family and the ensemble.
who get set on a certain role, as soon as you get
to work, all will be well.

Some directors listen to their wise music

directors and choreographers and cast
accordingly. (As in, casting actors who can The ide
a
actually sing and/or dance the role.) Some THE A is to cast ever
DDAM yone if
EDITI S yo
directors though, and not always incorrectly, ON is d FAMILY YO u can, right?
from th esigned UNG@
cast actors in principal roles and hope to wave a e to PART
feature numerous lead get that done
magic musical wand and teach them to sing d throu
ghout! s , t h ee . Aside
well, or at least well enough, during the process. Check nsemble is
• Yo it out:
It depends upon the role’s demands. u can c
any kid a s t prett
you wa y much ANY
gende nt to, r role w
r. Play i
A few items to consider: The Beineke’s have some but cas the role egardless of th
t your b s as writ
rather demanding music. Find your best music est acto ten (M
rs in th or
readers and see if they can also inhabit these great • Th
e ANC eir best F),
ESTO r oles.
and off
roles. Try, “One Normal Night” with potentials and er up to RS are feature
see how they do. Obviously, Wednesday should be 14 solos d throu
• TH ! ghout
a singer and command this wonderful character. E ADD
YOUN AMS
Your Gomez and Morticia should radiate maturity G@PA FAMILY
with li RT ED
as compared with the rest of their brood. While nes or IT
solo si ION has 24 p
they need to be able to sing and move well (The • Yo n ging! arts
u can c
Tango is teachable!), they are actors above all. ast as m
any An
cestors
as you li
ke!
Cast your kids where they will do their best
work given the level of experience they
possess and their commitment to learn.

11a
Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

ROLE First Name Last Name Costume Off Book Crew Dance Notes
Position Captain

Gomez

Morticia

Uncle Fester

Grandma

Wednesday

Pugsley

Lurch

Mal Beineke

Alice Beineke

Lucas Beineke

Opening solos:

Ancestor 1

Ancestor 2

Ancestor 3

Ancestor 4

“Death is Just
Around the Corner”
solo Girls:

Crazier Than You

Solos:

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Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

ROLE First Name Last Name Costume Off Book Crew Dance Notes
Position Captain

Ensemble Ancestors:

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

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Director’s Guide Young@Part Introduction

ROLE First Name Last Name Costume Off Book Crew Dance Notes ROLE
Position Captain

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

Ancestor

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 Director’s Guide

®
Edition

@
®

Book by MARSHALL BRICKMAN and RICK ELICE

Music and Lyrics by ANDREW LIPPA

Based on Characters Created by Charles Addams

Young@Part® Edition Adapted by Marc Tumminelli

Young@Part® Edition originally produced at

Broadway Workshop in New York City.

The materials contained herein are copyrighted by the authors, are not for sale, and may only be used
for the single specifically licensed live theatrical production for which they were originally provided.
Any other use, transfer, reproduction or duplication including print, electronic or digital media
is strictly prohibited by law, except as allowed in your Digital Delivery License from TRW.

young@part ®

1180 Avenue of the Americas, Sixth Floor

New York, NY 10036
Toll Free: 866-378-9758
646-736-3232
Fax: 212-643-1322
www.theatricalrights.com
 While many overtures begin
as the audience is almost
seated and the house lights
are about to go to 50%,
you’ll want to start this
SCENE 1:
show with the famous
opening notes that get #1 OVERTURE
everyone snapping!

TRACK 1

(A hand parts the curtain, revealing The Addams Family: GOMEZ, If you don’t have a
Composing the CURTAIN, you can reveal
opening tableau of MORTICIA, WEDNESDAY, PUGSLEY, GRANDMA, LURCH and FESTER. A the family by pre-setting
the family is important in huge, bare Spanish oak, The Addams Family Tree, spreads its them in a blackout and
setting the style of your boughs over The Addams Family Graveyard.) discovering them with a
production. Work with dedicated light special. It’s
your actors to precisely (GOMEZ steps forward) important we see them for
hit their marks. the first time as a tableau
GOMEZ that comes to life with
Gomez’s introduction.
(deep inhale)
Aaaahh… The intoxicating smell of the graveyard. Once a year, we gather beneath our Family Tree, to
honor the great cycle of life and death. Come, every member of our clan - living, dead -

(re: Lurch)

- and undecided - and let us celebrate what it is to be an Addams.

ADDAMS is a
(to Morticia) great show to pull out all the
stops on lighting! If you have
Come to me, my beautiful wife - oh she of skin so pale, eyes so black, hair so long- access to a spotlight, it can
and tell us what it is every Addams hopes for! be super valuable throughout,
like in this section to isolate
Gomez as the emcee of the
MORTICIA evening, and frame the rest
Darkness and grief and unspeakable sorrow. of the family’s musical
introductions.
GOMEZ
(overcome, embracing her)
I love it when you talk sweet!

#2 WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

YOU NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE MOONLIGHT
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

1
 GOMEZ (CONT’D)
YOU NEED TO FEEL A LITTLE CHILL
YOU HAVE TO SEE THE WORLD IN SHADES OF GRAY
YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME POISON IN YOUR DAY

MORTICIA GOMEZ & MORTICIA

THAT'S THE WAY. play downstage a bit
for the entire next
section. The rest of
GOMEZ & MORTICIA the ADDAMS are still
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS essentially frozen
upstage until their
GOMEZ introductions.

YOU NEED TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

(GOMEZ tickles MORTICIA. She giggles.)

GOMEZ & MORTICIA

WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

MORTICIA
YOU NEED TO HAVE A TASTE FOR DEATH

GOMEZ & MORTICIA

WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORLD OUTSIDE
AND WHAT IT WANTS FROM YOU
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS
YOU DO WHAT ADDAMS' ALWAYS DO!

GOMEZ
Mi amor!

MORTICIA
Will you love me for ever and ever?

GOMEZ

We shall be as besotted with each other as the night we met!

MORTICIA
Our first date! You took me to see –

2
 GOMEZ
Death of a Salesman.

MORTICIA
How we laughed!

ADDAMS FAMILY
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS The opening grows and really hits a
fever pitch when the ANCESTORS
enter and the line dances start on p.
5. Here, keep your choreography very
GOMEZ sleek, simple and crisp as the stylized
YOU GOTTA HAVE A LOTTA PASSION movement begins with this call and
response format of the song.

ADDAMS FAMILY
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

MORTICIA
YOU NEED TO REALLY LOVE YOUR WIFE

ADDAMS FAMILY
YOU'RE HAPPY WHEN YOUR TOES ARE IN THE MUD

FESTER & GRANDMA This bit is very funny and

YOU SMILE A BIT THE MOMENT YOU SMELL BLOOD revealing of the ADDAMS
world. Rehearse the physicality
of howl with your family to
(THE ENTIRE FAMILY howls at the moon.) make it clear, precise and
smooth as they transition right
back into the next lyric.
ADDAMS FAMILY
AA-OOOH!!!

WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

This PROP should be a
WEDNESDAY very simple representa-
tion of a crossbow. It is
YOU NEED TO GRAB A BOW AND ARROW
not a practical prop or a
weapon. It is implied that
(WEDNESDAY loads her crossbow, aims to the sky and fires.) an arrow is shot and the
music includes a sound
effect. Later in the show,
when WEDNESDAY fires
it at LUCAS, the
Ancestors guide an
arrow in slow motion.
3
 ADDAMS FAMILY
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS
PUGSLEY
YOU NEED A MOMENT TO EXPLODE
SFX 1
This SFX cue should be loud
(PUGSLEY pushes the plunger and there's a terrific explosion.) and clear, but SHORT! The
lyric continues almost
GRANDMA immediately and the plunger
JUST POUR A POTION bit is over!

FESTER
FLIP THE SWITCH

WEDNESDAY/GRANDMA/PUGSLEY
AND WAIT 'TIL THINGS GET HOT

ADDAMS FAMILY (NO FESTER)

WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

ADDAMS FAMILY & FESTER

YOU HAVE TO REALLY STIR THE POT
SO GIVE US SHADOWS AND GIVE US GLOOM Use this section, from “Give us
shadows...” to get your FAMILY back
BROKEN GLASS IN A MOTEL ROOM into place for the entrance of the
SOMETHING FUN WE CAN ALL EXHUME ANCESTORS with some monstrous
AND GIVE IT ALL TONIGHT! moves that match the music.

GOMEZ

And now, we summon our beloved Ancestors. How do we do this?

You’ve got a fairly
short amount of music
FESTER to get your ANCESTORS
By dancing on their graves! on. Make sure they are
all on, in place and
ready to sing their first
GOMEZ lyric. Using all available
Yes! Dance my brother Fester! Time to wake the dead! entrances will get
everyone on in plenty
of time to plant and
(FESTER dances before The Addams Family Crypt. The gate of the sing. This mass
crypt swings open, and the ADDAMS ANCESTORS emerge, unholy entrance frequently
needs extra rehearsal
spirits from many eras and places, from the recently-departed to the in tech rehearsal(s).
very first, stone-age, Addams.)

4
 ANCESTORS This powerful section of the opening
ONCE TORN ASUNDER should really feature your ANCESTORS. As
DOWN SIX FEET UNDER you choreograph this part, keep in mind
you are also getting everyone in place for
WE GET TO GATHER HERE the line dance section below.

ANCESTOR 1
DEAD FOR FOREVER

ANCESTOR 2
BLED FROM WHATEVER

ANCESTOR 1 & ANCESTOR 2

CALLED NOW TO REAPPEAR

ANCESTOR 3 & ANCESTOR 4

EVERY CADAVER
START THE PALAVER
ONCE IN AN ADDAMS YEAR

ANCESTORS
HOLD YOUR DECAYING
HEAR WHAT WE'RE SAYING The line dance section is a high point
TIME NOW TO GIVE A CHEER! of the opening and the show. Your
entire ensemble (minus BEINEKES
who join the fun at the end of the
GOMEZ show) can really showcase their
Line Dance! dancing in this irresistible break. The
(A succession of line dances, called by GOMEZ.) music clearly marks the sections with
RIGOR MORTIS being a full freeze.

Bunny Hop! Do the Twist! Rigor Mortis!

(The Family Dance erupts into a full throated final chorus.)

ALL
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

MALE ANCESTORS
THAT’S RIGHT, WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

5
 ADDAMS & FEMALE ANCESTORS
YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIAL DUTY
MALE ANCESTORS
LATE NIGHT! OUT WITH THE ADDAMS!

ADDAMS FAMILY & FEMALE ANCESTORS

WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

MALE ANCESTORS
WITH ONE BITE

ALL
YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO THE CLAN
IT'S FAMILY FIRST AND FAMILY LAST
AND FAMILY BY AND BY The end of this first big number is a
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS great place to teach your young
actors how to hold for applause and
THE STANDARD ANSWERS DON'T APPLY then directly hit their transition
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS blocking. As soon as Gomez starts
YOU DO WHAT ADDAMS DO OR DIE! his line, cue the action. It sets the
tone for the rhythm of your show’s
transitions and the precision with
(Applause) which they are performed.

TRACK 1 ENDS

GOMEZ
Until next year my beloved ancestors... Back to your crypt.

#2A (WE HAVE) A PROBLEM

Try blocking your
TRACK 2 FAMILY exit upstage
right or left and set
(GOMEZ, MORTICIA, GRANDMA, LURCH and PUGSLEY exit. Wednesday’s special
WEDNESDAY remains, looks worried. The ANCESTORS turn to re- on the opposite side
downstage. As your
enter the Crypt. FESTER clocks WEDNESDAY.) audience’s eyes will
follow the other
TRACK 2 ENDS ADDAMS off briefly,
Wednesday can simply
cross to her special for
CONQUISTADOR ANCESTOR Fester’s speech on the
Hey, it's locked. next page.

(ANCESTORS freeze)

6
 FESTER
That's right. We have a problem.

(DING! Light on WEDNESDAY, holding her crossbow.)

If your lighting system allows
for it, the use of isolated
TRACK 3 ‘specials’ that focus the
audience’s eyes on one area of
the stage, can be very effective.
WEDNESDAY A spotlight in a fixed position
can achieve the same effect.
His name is Lucas, Lucas Beineke. And - I'm in love.

(group reacts)
FESTER
(to the Audience)

That's right. Little Wednesday Addams - that charming, irrepressible bundle of malice who would
poison her own brother just for a ride in the ambulance - has grown up and found love.

(LUCAS walks by madly in Love with WEDNESDAY. They exit.)

So here's the deal. Gather around. I'm not letting you back into that crypt until love triumphs.

This is a very important exchange for the

ANCESTORS Ancestors and the plot! Your Ancestor Ensem-
ble must buy into the theme: They cannot
But Fest – return to their beloved Addams Crypt until
they help Fester’s mission for love triumphant!
FESTER It drives their whole performance.

Ah. I need your help! As Wednesday’s uncle it’s my job to make sure she gets to enjoy the Misery of
love! So who is this Lucas fella? Is he worthy of her? Do they really love each other? What is love
anyway? Does this rash look serious to you?

TRACK 3 ENDS

So many questions about love. But when you think about it, is there anything more important?
A HAND extends FESTER's banjolele, and FESTER takes it, Fester’s little banjolele can
(accompanying himself as he sings.) be a toy ukelele that he
carries in his coat for easy
Have your Ancestors magically deliver the banjolele prop, arriving access. If you have a kid
in his hands just as he finishes his line and the song begins. who can actually play...tune
it up and play along.
7
 #3 FESTER'S MANIFESTO

TRACK 4
FESTER (CONT’D)
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE

ALL
AH –

FESTER
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE
CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT LOFTY GOALS, MATING SOULS
ALTERING MINDS AND FALTERING ROLES
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE...

(They all exit with transition to the next scene.)

TRACK 4 ENDS

SCENE CHANGE: Graveyard to Addams Mansion interior

8
 The Addams Mansion
interior contains much of
the action of the show. If
SCENE 2 you are building sets and
(The Living room of the ADDAMS FAMILY. We see GOMEZ, fencing having full changes,
with LURCH, who holds his foil absolutely still while GOMEZ swipes great! But...keep them
moving. When looking at
at it extravagantly.) set design, consider
basically playing all the
GOMEZ interior scenes in one
main playing space and
Fight sir, fight like a man! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Foiled again! adding easily moved
furniture when needed to
(GOMEZ strikes LURCH's sword down. LURCH pokes GOMEZ with it.) indicate a new room.
Many ADDAMS FAMILY
sets include a second
Oww! Darn your lightning reflexes! level and a grand
staircase or two. If this
is not possible in your
(GOMEZ retains his sword. MORTICIA enters with a bouquet of space/budget, no
yellow flowers.) problem. Use what you
have to create your
unique house. Whatever
MORTICIA your set design, try to
Gomez, look. have as many entrance
points as possible to
allow your Ancestors to
GOMEZ be able to pop-in and out!
Ugh! Flowers! Who would send something so tasteless?

MORTICIA
(reads the card)
"The most precious gift there is,
More goody-licious than gold,
Is that blessing we call friendship,
Whether new or very old."

GOMEZ
"Goody-licious?" Who talks like this?

(MORTICIA removes the flowers from the stems,During--)

MORTICIA

The Beinekes. Wednesday's friend Lucas and his parents. They’re coming for dinner tonight.

GOMEZ
Lucas?

9
 MORTICIA
Yes.

GOMEZ
But Lucas is a boy's name.

MORTICIA
Yes.

GOMEZ
Wednesday has a friend who's a boy?

(They both look at Lurch. Finally--)

MORTICIA
It's nothing, darling. Puppy love.

(handing Lurch the stems)

Put these in water.

(WEDNESDAY enters, carrying her crossbow and a goose with an

arrow sticking out of it.)

WEDNESDAY
Mom, Dad, I shot dinner.

MORTICIA
(taking it)
Oh, Wednesday, that's lovely. Wherever did you find it?

WEDNESDAY
Petting zoo.

MORTICIA
Thank you, dear. Come, Lurch- guests for dinner! Fresh meat!
(shares a laugh with Lurch, They exit. WEDNESDAY looks nervously
after them.)

10
 WEDNESDAY
Daddy, I have something very important to tell you.

GOMEZ
What?

WEDNESDAY
Can you keep a secret?

(WEDNESDAY produces a ring from around her neck.)

GOMEZ
Of course.

WEDNESDAY
Oh daddy, Lucas wants to marry me!

GOMEZ
What?!

WEDNESDAY
Lucas Beineke loves me and he wants to marry me. And I think I want to marry him.

GOMEZ
Think?

WEDNESDAY
Well, I've never even met his parents, and he's never met mine, and - I just need to be sure that the
families can get along.

GOMEZ
What are you saying?

WEDNESDAY
I'm saying we're who we are, and they're from Ohio.

GOMEZ
You're right, this is important. Let's go tell your mother.

WEDNESDAY
No. Daddy, please! She'll ask a lot of embarrassing questions and wreck the whole thing.

11
 GOMEZ
You don't want me to tell your mother you're getting married?

WEDNESDAY
After dinner, if we’re all friends, then we'll tell her.

GOMEZ
But I've never kept anything from your mother.

WEDNESDAY
Daddy, one tiny little secret. Please. Please. This scene between Gomez and
Wednesday launches the plot and the
key story line of the show: Gomez
GOMEZ agrees to keep the engagement a
OK, OK I promise. I won't tell your mother. secret from Morticia. His line, “But
I’ve never kept anything from your
mother,” sets up his decision, which
WEDNESDAY costs him plenty until it all resolves
Oh, thank you daddy! in the “Tango de Amour” at the end.

(She starts to go, turns back.)

Our little secret, right?

GOMEZ
Yes, Yes. Our little secret. Wednesday, you are growing up so quickly. You’ll be Thursday before I
know it! Now run along.

(WEDNESDAY exits, as MORTICIA enters. WEDNESDAY flashes a big smile as she

passes.)

MORTICIA
What’s wrong with Wednesday.

GOMEZ
What do you mean?

MORTICIA
She's smiling. Like this. Maybe it’s this boy.

12
 GOMEZ
This boy? Don't be silly. Ha! I say. And double ha! Ha-ha!

MORTICIA
(She laughs with him)
Hahahaha.

(Gomez stops laughing quickly.)

GOMEZ

Yes, but what if - and I have no reason to say this - what if she did meet someone who stole her heart?

MORTICIA

Don't be silly. When that happens, I'll be the first to know. Wednesday tells me everything. Just like
you do. Gomez, you do tell me everything, don’t you?

GOMEZ
Of course!

MORTICIA
I think Wednesday and I should have a little chat.

(She exits. GOMEZ follows behind her.)

SCENE CHANGE: To The Playroom.

13
 SCENE 3 See the PROPS section
(THE PLAYROOM) on page 9A of this guide
for info/ideas on
TRACK 5 building the Rack.

(PUGSLEY is strapped onto a rack. WEDNESDAY works a ratchet-

wheel to increasingly stretch her brother's limbs.)

#3A HONOR ROLL

PUGSLEY
WEDNESDAY AND LUCAS SITTING IN A TREE
K-I-L-L-I-N-G
FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES
(ratchet! scream!)
Ahhhhhh! That was intense! See the PROPS section
on page 9A of this guide
(she pauses) for information about
directing the ratchet
and pull action safely.
TRACK 5 ENDS

Do it again, do it again!
(Ratchet. PUGSLEY screams happily.)
Ahhhhhhhh!

PUGSLEY
Is this Lucas guy still coming to dinner tonight?

WEDNESDAY
Yes!

TRACK 6
#4 PULLED

WEDNESDAY (CONT’D)
Oh, Pugsley - ever since I met him, I wanna laugh and cry and everything seems right and wrong at
the same time and then sometimes I just want to kiss him till he’s dead.

I DON'T HAVE A SUNNY DISPOSITION

I'M NOT KNOWN FOR BEING TOO AMUSED

14
 MY DEMEANOR'S LOCKED IN ONE POSITION
SEE MY FACE? I'M ENTHUSED.
SUDDENLY, HOWEVER, I'VE BEEN PUZZLED
BUNNY RABBITS MAKE ME WANT TO CRY
ALL MY INHIBITIONS HAVE BEEN MUZZLED
AND I THINK I KNOW WHY –

(We hear the tweeting of a little bird. And another. And another.
And another.)

TRACK 6 ENDS

I'M BEING

TRACK 7

PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION

BUT I THINK I LIKE IT
I THINK I LIKE IT
I'M BEING PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION –

(One of them, a YELLOW BIRD, attracts WEDNESDAY'S attention

particularly.
The YELLOW BIRD perches on her hand, and she sings to it.)

THROUGH MY PAINFUL PURSUIT

SOMEHOW BIRDIES TOOK ROOT
See the PROPS section
ALL THE THINGS I DETESTED on page 9A of this guide
IMPOSSIBLY CUTE for info/ideas on
GOD! WHAT DO I DO?? building the Birdy.

TRACK 7 ENDS

(She inadvertently breaks the bird's neck. The bird's head flops
sadly from side to side.)

PUGSLEY
Wow. You got some real issues.

(She looks wistfully at the bird.)

15
 WEDNESDAY
Fly away, little birdie.

(She gives it a little launch-toss and it falls, dead, on the floor.)

TRACK 8

MOTHER ALWAYS SAID, "BE KIND TO STRANGERS"

BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THEY DESTROY
I CAN FEEL THE CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGERS
WHEN SHE LEARNS THAT THE BOY
HAS GOT ME PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION

(She pulls the rack-lever)

PUGSLEY
AAAAAAH!

WEDNESDAY
BUT I THINK I LIKE IT.

PUGSLEY
That was good, that was good!

WEDNESDAY
I THINK I LIKE IT

PUGSLEY
Do it again, do it again!

WEDNESDAY
I'M BEING PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION

(She pulls the rack-lever.)

PUGSLEY
AAAAAAH!

WEDNESDAY
AND THIS FEELING I KNOW

16
 IS IMPOSSIBLE SO
I'LL CONFIDE
THAT I'VE TRIED
BUT I CAN'T LET IT GO
IT'S DISGUSTINGLY TRUE
PULLED –

PUGSLEY
AAH!

WEDNESDAY
PULLED –

PUGSLEY
AAH!

WEDNESDAY
PULLED –

PUGSLEY
AAAAAAH!

WEDNESDAY
AND NOW I’M PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION
IF THEY KEEP INSISTING, I’LL STOP RESISTING
JUST WATCH ME PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION
I SHOULD STAY IN THE DARK
NOT OBEY EVERY SPARK
BUT THE BOY HAS A BITE
BETTER FAR THAN HIS BARK
AND YOU BET I'LL BITE, TOO
DO WHAT'S TRULY TABOO
AS I'M PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION!

TRACK 8 ENDS

(WEDNESDAY exits. GOMEZ and MORTICIA peek from behind the

curtain, having observed this.)

17
 MORTICIA
I was right! It is the boy -

GOMEZ
Yes, but I don't think it's such a big – it’s her time to be out in the world!

MORTICIA
Are you out of your mind? Now stop prattling and go tell her the dinner is canceled.
Work with your Morticia & Wednesday on
GOMEZ using a scolding finger motion on the line,
But, cara – “...then I just don’t know what” so that they
can deliver it in the exact same way. (Wednes-
day repeats the bit on the next page.)
MORTICIA
You're the father. The father is the canceler. And if after 25 years of marriage you can't do this one
thing for me, then I just don't know what!

(Before GOMEZ can respond, WEDNESDAY enters, with PUGSLEY,

GRANDMA, FESTER and LURCH in tow. GRANDMA holds a pet rat,
like a lap-dog. The rest of the ANCESTORS follow)

WEDNESDAY
(a tad wired)
Ok Family meeting about tonight,

(She looks around)

with everyone!

(The rest of the ANCESTORS enter)

Now. Here's the schedule. First we have appetizers, like, "Hi, nice to meet you" -

(family echoes this)

Okay. And then they'll want to see the house, and then at eight, we'll have dinner and they can be
back at their hotel by nine thirty.

(family murmurs approval)

MORTICIA
Wednesday, your father has something to tell you.

18
 GOMEZ
Actually, paloma, your mother and I have had second thoughts about this dinner.

WEDNESDAY
Daddy, I am your only daughter and your eldest child and if you can't do this one thing for me, then
I just don't know what!
(Awkward beat)
GOMEZ
(to Morticia)
Maybe just a little dinner.

(WEDNESDAY throws her arms around GOMEZ.)

WEDNESDAY
Thank you, daddy! alla Duse: Eleonora Duse (Italian] (3 October
1858 – 21 April 1924) was an Italian actress,
often known simply as Duse. She is regarded as
MORTICIA one of the greatest actors of all time, noted for
her total assumption of the roles she
(alla Duse) portrayed. -Wikipedia

Well, it seems I've been outvoted. So - dinner it is. Dinner, and then, The Game.

(Excited affirmations from THE FAMILY.)

WEDNESDAY
Oh God please no! Not the Game. Can’t we all just act normal?

GRANDMA
(stroking her rat)
Define normal.

(rat squeaks)
Shhh.

WEDNESDAY
Please –

19
 TRACK 9

#5 ONE NORMAL NIGHT

WEDNESDAY
THEY'RE NORMAL PEOPLE
NOT LIKE YOU, NOT LIKE ME This number plays well
PLEASE CAN'T WE BE AN AVERAGE FAMILY! with tightly composed
groups of ancestors and
ANCESTOR 1 principals simply
standing and singing. Too
ONE NORMAL NIGHT
much movement here can
THAT'S ALL SHE WANTS take away from delivering
THAT'S ALL SHE NEED FROM YOU the lyrics clearly.

WEDNESDAY
ONE NORMAL HOUSE
WITHOUT A MOUSE
TO FEED A PLANT OR TWO

ANCESTOR 2
YOU MUST ADMIT WE'RE NOT
WHAT PEOPLE CALL LAID BACK
SO CAN'T WE MUSE A BIT
AND LOSE THE BASIC BLACK?

ANCESTOR 3
WHOA, ONE NORMAL NIGHT
WITH NORMAL PEOPLE ON THEIR WAY
JUST ONE NORMAL NIGHT
(spoken) Whaddaya say?
MORTICIA
ONE NORMAL NIGHT?

WEDNESDAY
TO BE POLITE
TO DO THE LEAST YOU CAN

GOMEZ
ONE NORMAL EVE?

20
 ANCESTOR 4
CAN YOU ACHIEVE
A KIND OF COMMON MAN?

WEDNESDAY
YOU HAVE TO SWEAR TO ME
YES, PROMISE TO THE CORE

ANCESTOR 5
IT'S ALMOST SIX O'CLOCK
THEY'RE ALMOST AT THE DOOR!

ALL ANCESTORS
ON ALL THE ADDAMS ANCESTORS
WHO'VE EVER WALKED ARIGHT
ONE NORMAL NIGHT!

(FESTER stage manages the reveal of CENTRAL PARK.)

TRACK 9 CONTINUES

SCENE CHANGE: to Central Park

21
 Your Ancestors seamlessly
form the trees of Central
Park. Every other Ancestor
SCENE 4 or so can have a small tree
branch they can use to
(CENTRAL PARK) create the way for the
Beinekes to find the
[SONG CONTINUES] mansion.

(An avenue of trees deployed by the ANCESTORS, against the

skyline of New York City. The BEINEKES: MAL, ALICE and LUCAS,
enter.)

ANCESTORS
DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

MAL
OK, Lucas - enough is enough. Gimme the map.

ALICE
I don't see any houses.

MAL

Because there aren't any, Alice. We're in the middle of Central Park!

LUCAS

I know where we are! It's where I first saw her! I was lost in the park and a pigeon dropped at my feet
with an arrow in it! And I looked up and there she was - Wednesday, with a crossbow.

MAL
A what?

ALICE
Be patient with him, dear.

(rhyming)
"A father should support his son.
And Lucas is your only one."

22
 MAL
(to Lucas)
See what you did? Your mother's rhyming again. Let's get back to the hotel and then -

LUCAS
(cutting him off)
No!
ONE NORMAL NIGHT
NO, NOT ONE POEM
NOT ONE INSPIRING WORD
ONE NORMAL SCENE
COMPLETE ROUTINE
TONIGHT CAN'T BE ABSURD
PLEASE DON'T EMBARRASS ME
OR BE COMPLETELY RUDE

MAL AND ALICE

WON’T MAKE A FUSS
ABOUT THE HOUSE
ABOUT THE FOOD
WHOA! ONE NORMAL NIGHT

LUCAS As Lucas exits the

I KNOW IT'S BIG BUT CAN'T YOU SEE Ancestor ‘trees’ magically
THIS ONE NORMAL NIGHT IS FOR ME! point the way for Mal and
Alice to follow by
stylistically being blown
Come on! by winds that move their
(LUCAS exits.) guiding branches.

MAL
Come on!
(MAL exits and ALICE follows. The ANCESTORS appear from behind
the avenue of trees. So does FESTER.)

FESTER
Seems like a nice young man!

(ANCESTORS grumble)

23
 ANCESTOR
But they are not right for each other.

FESTER
Look. The choice is yours. Either you keep helping these kids or you're stuck here for eternity! So?

(The ANCESTORS point the trees in the right direction, helping the
BEINEKES head off toward the house.)
Once again the
Ancestor ‘trees’
FESTER & ANCESTORS magically point
PROTECT AND RALLY ROUND the way.

LET'S AID THEM AND ABET

ONE NORMAL NIGHT IS WHAT THEY'LL –

TRACK 9 ENDS

FESTER
GET!

SCENE CHANGE: Central Park to Addams Mansion interior

TRACK 10

(Lightning and thunder. FESTER scuttles upstage, revealing The

Addams Family Mansion. The trees vanish, the house exterior
crashes to the floor, revealing THE ADDAMS FAMILY.)

ALL
IN ONE NORMAL, INFORMAL
ONE NORMAL NIGHT!

(On the button, the set transition is complete. The doorbell rings.
Applause.)

TRACK 10 ENDS

24
 SCENE 5
(THE GREAT HALL)

WEDNESDAY
They're here!

(ALL scuttle off. LURCH, approaches the front door...very slowly.

LURCH opens the front door, ushering in the BEINEKES. They affect
an out-of-towner's nonchalance.)

MAL
Hello. Had a little trouble finding the place.

(The BEINEKES move down stage and take the place in.)

(observing the emptiness of the space)

Wow, look at this place. They just move in or what?

ALICE
No. This is how they live in New York. They spend all their money on rent and have nothing left for
furniture.

(LURCH slams the front door with an awesome thud. The BEINEKES
jump. A RAT scurries across the floor. ALICE screams. RAT exits.)

(MAL approaches LURCH)

Work with your Lurch to
make sure he understands
LURCH the meaning behind each
Grnh. of his ‘lines.’ He has
definite feelings about
each of the Beinekes which
MAL should be clear through
Mal Beineke. his grunts and grrs.

LURCH
(polite)
Grnh.

25
 MAL
This is my wife, Alice-
LURCH
(flirtingly)
Grnh.
MAL
That's my son, Lucas -

LURCH
(warning)
Grnh.

MAL
And you are?

LURCH
Grrngh.
(Grunts his backstory)

MAL

Nice talkin' to you. Earth to Alice, we've landed in Weirdo City. I say we get out of here fast.

ALICE
Oh, Mal.

(convincing herself as much any him)

"Be open to experience,
And welcome in the new.
Reach deep in your surprise bag;
There might be a gift for you."

MAL

Honey, my surprise bag is so full I can hardly lift it. I don’t think I can stand any more suprises.

LUCAS
C'mon, dad. Lighten up! These are your kind of people, real salt of the earth.

26
 (GOMEZ enters, with rapier.)

GOMEZ
Mr. Malcolm Beineke, I presume, and the lovely Mrs. Malcolm Beineke.

(pointing his blade at Lucas)

And you must be young Lucas -

(looks back to Mal, then again to Lucas)

Welcome to our extremely normal home. Gomez Florencia Addams, at your service. Allow me to
present my wife, la duena, mother of my children ... the love of my life - Morticia!

TRACK 11
#5A MORTICIA’S ENTRANCE

(MORTICIA enters, in an apron. GOMEZ kisses her hand.) Morticia’s entrance

should be a grand,
sweeping cross that
matches the maternal
TRACK 11 ENDS mood of the music that is
there soley for her
MORTICIA appearance.

Sorry I'm late. I was putting the apple pie on the window sill to cool.

GOMEZ
That's my little woman.

(MORTICIA elbows GOMEZ and extends her hand to MAL.)

MORTICIA
So very pleased. Mr. Beineke...

MAL
Mrs. Addams -

MORTICIA
(She turns to ALICE)
Mrs. Beineke...

27
 ALICE
(curtsies)
Alice.

MORTICIA
Alice. And you must be Lucas. What a lovely name.

LUCAS

Thanks. I'm named after my Uncle Lucas who got lost in the woods and ate his own leg.

MAL
They don't need to know that!

MORTICIA
No, no. It's a beautiful story.
(then)
Wednesday has a cousin who swallowed his tongue. Hes tolk lak dis...

WEDNESDAY
(interrupting, mortified)
Thank you, mother.

(All heads turn to see WEDNESDAY, wearing a bright yellow dress.)

(to Mal and Alice)
Hi, I'm Wednesday.

MORTICIA
What are you wearing?

WEDNESDAY
A dress.

GOMEZ
Paloma, what happened? You look like a crime scene.

28
 MORTICIA
(to the Beinekes)
Will you excuse us for a moment?
(to Wednesday)
I won't have that color in my house.

WEDNESDAY
I'm just being normal, OK?
(Now LURCH is helping ALICE off with her coat.)
MORTICIA
Darling, we don't wear bright colors. Bright colors are for people with no inner life and no
imagination.

(ALICE'S coat is removed. She too wears a bright yellow dress.)

Oh look. It's everywhere.

ALICE
It's a lovely dress, Wednesday.
"Yellow is the color of the warming sun.
Yellow is the color of yumminess and fun.
Why not show the world the love in which we all believe?
Why not wear your heart for all to see, right on your sleeve?"
"Yellow is - "

(Awkward beat. MORTICIA fights the urge to throw up.)

GOMEZ
Excellent! A lovely sentiment about the color yellow! And now -

(PUGSLEY enters in a Boy Scout uniform. He holds a coin-collecting

can like from the March of Dimes.)

Why, look everyone, it's Pugsley Addams, Wednesday's brother. Say hello, Puggles.

(PUGSLEY goes to ALICE and holds out the can.)

PUGSLEY
Hello. Wanna make a donation?

29
 ALICE
Of course, sweetheart. What are you collecting for?

PUGSLEY
Just put some money in the can and nobody gets hurt.

(ALICE drops a coin in the can.

GRANDMA enters in a candy-striper uniform with a big Red Cross
on the bib-front.)

GRANDMA
Whew! Boy, is it normal out there!

GOMEZ
And this is our dear little Grandma, the very soul and spirit of the family.

GRANDMA
(starting over, still sweet as pie)
Hi. I just came from the hospital. Cardiac ward. Boy, they're dropping like flies over there. I hope
you're staying in shape. Grains, fresh fruit, 40 minutes on the treadmill?

ALICE
I know I should, but I don't do any of that.

GRANDMA
Well then you're gonna die, honey.

(FESTER enters, wearing a preposterous toupee and holding a

football, running for the end zone.)

FESTER
Are you ready for some football?

(FESTER is the announcer to his solo game of football.)

GOMEZ
This is my brother, Fester.

30
 FESTER
(to Alice)
Nice ta meet ya.
GOMEZ
Thank you, Fester.

(The BEINEKES behold The Addams Family nervously. GRANDMA

looks like she might lick ALICE.)

All right, go away now.

GRANDMA/FESTER/PUGSLEY
(waving)
GOODBYE! A great bit: Have these three exit singing, “Goodbye,”
and waving, a la the Von Trapp kids.
(And they're gone.)

GOMEZ
And now for a welcoming toast from the extensive Addams caves!
(LURCH enters with a tray. They all cross upstage to get a drink from
LURCH, WEDNESDAY pulls LUCAS down stage to have a private
conversation)

LUCAS
You realize they're gonna freak when we tell them? Work with your cast to
accept and make this
theatrical convention
WEDNESDAY work: It’s implied that by
My father won't. I already told him. grouping actors a bit away
from one another that
private convos happen
LUCAS with all onstage.
I thought we were gonna tell them all together!

WEDNESDAY
We need his help. You don't know my mother. She could really screw it up. It might seem old
fashioned, but I want their blessing.

LUCAS
You're right, it is old fashioned.

WEDNESDAY
Lucas, do you love me?

31
 LUCAS
Of course. You are the craziest girl I ever met.

WEDNESDAY
You say that like it's a bad thing. It's just a simple dinner. What could go wrong? Shhh. They’re
coming…

(MORTICIA and the rest of the family move towards LUCAS and
WEDNESDAY.)

MORTICIA
Children, you're excused.

WEDNESDAY
Lucas, come on. Dad, remember -

MAL
(as the kids go)
Leave the door open, y'hear?

GOMEZ
They seem very fond of each other, no?

MAL
I guess. But it's not like they're getting married.

GOMEZ
Married? Of course not. (GOMEZ looks worried) Morticia, a grand tour for the missus. Then, dinner –

MORTICIA
And after dinner - The Game!

MAL
Oh yeah? What kind of game?

GOMEZ
Did you ever play charades?

32
 MAL
Yeah.
GOMEZ
Well, it's nothing like that. Come on Mal, let me show you the moat. Did you bring your bathing
suit?

(MAL looks at ALICE and mouths “Help me.” GOMEZ chuckles expectantly and leads
MAL down to the grotto. Then, as the LADIES climb the stairs--)

ALICE
Did you get the flowers?

MORTICIA
Oh yes. And the lovely poem. Wherever did you find it?

ALICE
I wrote it.

MORTICIA
No!

ALICE
(demonstrates)
"When I'm depressed or feeling blessed,
A poem will get it off my chest.
They come to me, they take no time,
They just pop out, and always rhyme."

MORTICIA
Maybe you should see someone about that.

ALICE

And they're always about the one thing everyone needs and so few have!

MORTICIA
Health care?

ALICE
Why, love, of course!

33
 Block Alice & Morticia’s exit
opposite Fester and Ancestor’s
(They exit. Enter FESTER and ANCESTORS.) entrance. Morticia & Alice re-enter
right after this brief reprise, so plan
to bring them into Scene 6 from
another entrance to give the feel
that they have traveled through the
TRACK 12 house a bit.

#6 BUT LOVE REPRISE 1

FESTER
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE If you are doing a set
change into the next
WORTH REPEATING scene, consider using
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE your Ancestors, here
CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT LOFTY GOALS— and throughout the
show, to do shifts as
they become a
FESTER & ANCESTORS universal presence.
MATING SOULS--
ALTERING MINDS AND FALTERING ROLES—

FESTER
Shhh.

FESTER
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE...

TRACK 12 ENDS
NOTE: Scenes 6 through 10
are played in various
locations around the
mansion (see stage
directions for specifics.)
Think about using area
lighting and minimal set
movement for these scenes,
as they should play smoothly
SCENE CHANGE: Main Room to Hall of Portraits
and freely through each
transition, as the families get
to know one another. I.e.,
these scenes are really one
longer scene with seamless
transitions. One set of
characters walks off one
side, or lights go out on
them, as the next group
enters from opposite or are
found by light crossfading to
a new location.

34
Depending on your set
design, you might SCENE 6
want to do this
transition simply by
lighting another part
of the stage to find (MORTICIA is showing ALICE the Hall of Family Portraits, and they
Morticia & Alice, enter as if if the tour is in progress.)
rather than bring on a
whole new setting.
MORTICIA If placing the portraits on
And in here the Family Portrait Hall. This is Cousin Helga from Baden-Baden. stage walls or hanging them
is impractical, no worries.
Morticia and Alice can simply
ALICE peruse photos in a photo
Who's that looking over her shoulder? album together or look up
and offstage as if they are
looking way up at large
MORTICIA paintings that are never seen
Oh, no. That's her other head. by the audience.

ALICE
She has two heads? If you have an
upstage curtain you
MORTICIA can play downstage
of for the next three
Well, you know what they say. scenes, you can have
your table and chairs
(MORTICIA and ALICE share a laugh. They continue to walk down pre-set upstage of it
for Scene 10 and
the hall.) you’ll have a quicker
transition to reveal
ALICE “Full Disclosure.”
(sees the photo)
Oh is that your wedding?

MORTICIA
Oh yes! I still remember our wedding vows...

ALICE
That's so romantic.

MORTICIA
We promised to tell each other everything.

ALICE
Everything?

35
 MORTICIA
Of course.

ALICE
Boy, it sure doesn't work that way in our house.

MORTICIA
How does it work?

ALICE
Well -
(rhymes)
“What's good for the gander is a nice quiet goose;
If I told Mal my secrets, all heck would break loose.”

MORTICIA
Alice, I'm shocked. What kind of a marriage is it where you keep secrets?

ALICE
A long one.

#6A BUT LOVE REPRISE 2

TRACK 13

FESTER
BE PATIENT AND SOON THE WAY WILL BE CLEAR
FOCUS YOUR FEAR
AND TROUBLES ALL WILL DISAPPEAR
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OLD

ANCESTORS
PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US OUT IN THE COLD

FESTER
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE
BUT LOVE

36
 ANCESTORS
BUT LOVE

FESTER
BUT LOVE

TRACK 13 ENDS

SCENE CHANGE: Hall of Portraits to Another Part of the House

37
 SCENE 7

(SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE)

(GOMEZ is examining WEDNESDAY'S engagement ring through a

jeweler's loupe. LUCAS looks on proudly.)

GOMEZ
And what does a Lucas Beineke become when it grows up?

LUCAS
Maybe a writer. Or a medical examiner.

GOMEZ
A medical examiner? Why?

LUCAS
You get to look at the inside of people's bodies and they don’t mind because they’re dead.

GOMEZ
(smiles to Wednesday)
Where did you find him?

WEDNESDAY When they lean in and

We found each other. It's kind of a miracle. whisper, they are setting up
Morticia’s line on the next
page, and feeding the humor
MORTICIA of the upcoming bit where
(From off) they all talk at once.
Gomez!
(WEDNESDAY tucks the ring away. They lean in and whisper.)

WEDNESDAY
Omigod, daddy –

LUCAS
What're we gonna do?

GOMEZ
Let's just tell her. It's gonna be fine.

38
 WEDNESDAY
Daddy, you promised after dinner.

(All ad lib until Gomez sees Morticia.)

MORTICIA
What were the three of you whispering about? This classic bit is straight
outta’ the Marx Brothers
book! Rehease the timing,
the timing, the timing. The
stage directions map out the
( Simultaneousl y.) rhythm of the joke.

GOMEZ WEDNESDAY LUCAS

The economy. The weather. The news.

(beat)

(Then, simultaneously.)

GOMEZ WEDNESDAY LUCAS

The news. The economy. The weather.
.

(beat)

WEDNESDAY
(brightly)

Well, we'll be going now. See you at dinner!

GOMEZ
Come, Lucas. I show you the moat. Did you ever see a rat as big as a wiener dog?

LUCAS
No, sir.
(The THREE OF THEM start to leave.)

MORTICIA
Gomez.

39
 MORTICIA (CONT’D)
(GOMEZ, caught, stops dead in his tracks.)
What's going on?

GOMEZ
Nothing. We were just talking.

MORTICIA
That wasn't talking, that was conspiring. You’re keeping something from me.

GOMEZ
May lightening strike me where I stand if I am keeping anything from you now.

(He looks up, steps broadly to his right. LIGHTNING strikes the spot
where he was standing.)

MORTICIA
(deeply suspicious)

That it should come to this. I'll be in my room until you're ready to share, like a proper husband.

(And she's gone.)

GOMEZ
Morticia mia!

#7 GOMEZ’S WHAT IF

TRACK 14

WHAT IF SHE
DOESN'T DANCE WITH ME ANYMORE
WHO COULD CONCEIVE IT?
WHAT IF I AND ONE TINY LIE
STARTED CIVIL WAR?
WHAT IF A LINE'S BEEN CROSSED
VOWS OF COMMITMENT LOST
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE...?
COULD THAT BE POSSIBLE...?

40
 (GOMEZ exits, thinking about the future. And we transition to--)

TRACK 14 ENDS

SCENE CHANGE: Another Part of the House to yet Another Part of the House

41
 SCENE 8
(SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE HOUSE)
(WEDNESDAY and LUCAS emerge. PUGSLEY eavesdrops.)

LUCAS
Wednesday, what if they hate each other?

WEDNESDAY
What if they don't? Be like me. Look on the bright side.

LUCAS
I love you like crazy Wednesday Addams!
(They go to kiss. PUGSLEY interrupts.)

PUGSLEY
She’s crazy alright!

WEDNESDAY
Pugsley! Stop sneaking around like that!

PUGSLEY
It's my house too, OK?

WEDNESDAY
(to Lucas)
Excuse me while I kill my brother.

LUCAS
(To Wednesday)
I'll take care of this.

(to the boy, extravagantly)

Hey, it's the Pugster. What up, little man?

(Tries to high-five PUGSLEY, to no effect.)

PUGSLEY
You trying to be cool?

42
 LUCAS
Uh-huh.

PUGSLEY
'Cause you're not cool.

LUCAS
Your sister thinks I am.

PUGSLEY
She'll get over it.

WEDNESDAY
We're gonna go now.

PUGSLEY
Can I come?

WEDNESDAY
Sorry, Pugs. I'm with Lucas now. Bye.

TRACK 15 [MUSIC IN]

(PUGSLEY'S tough act evaporates, and all that's left is a lonely little
brother.)

PUGSLEY
But wait! Wait!

(WEDNESDAY waves to PUGSLEY and pulls LUCAS off. PUGSLEY is

bereft, center)

There is no scene change here.

43
 SCENE 9
(Pugsley alone, continuing from the previous scene.)

#8 WHAT IF

PUGSLEY
WHAT IF SHE NEVER TORTURES ME ANYMORE?
HOW WOULD I MANAGE?
WHAT IF SHE NEVER NAILS MY TONGUE TO THE BATHROOM FLOOR?
WHAT IF SHE WALKS AWAY
LEAVING ME A-OK,
HIDING EACH POWER TOOL
WHY WOULD SHE BE SO CRUEL?

I COULD STAB MY ARM MYSELF

COULD RIP MY TONSILS OUT
COULD SET MY HAIR AFLAME
I COULD SPRAY MY EYES WITH MACE
BUT FACE THE FACT, WITHOUT HER,
IT WOULDN'T BE THE SAME... Grandma’s wagon carries a
small assortment of old,
weird looking medicine
(GRANDMA enters, pulling her wagon of vials and bottles.) bottles. TIP: Glue down all
the vials except the
Acrimonium.

GRANDMA
(a cappella)
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
(Whistling)

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

PUGSLEY
Hi, Grandma.

GRANDMA
Hey, stud. How's life?

PUGSLEY
Too long.

44
 GRANDMA
Tell me about it.

TRACK 15 ENDS

PUGSLEY
Hold on. What're you doing?

GRANDMA
Restocking. Grandma's Private Stash. Herbs, potions and remedies. Nature’s candy, no prescription
needed.

PUGSLEY
Grandma –

TRACK 16

what if there was this girl who met this person and he's all like "Hey, it's the Pugster. What up, little
man?" and she's all like "golly" and "we're gonna go now" and they're running away together. What
would you give her?

GRANDMA
Nothing. She's your sister. Be happy for her.

PUGSLEY
(picks up a bottle from the cart)
Ugh. What's this one?

GRANDMA
(grabs bottle from Pugsley)
Acrimonium! You wanna stay away from this baby.

PUGSLEY
Why?

GRANDMA
Takes the lid off the id. Brings out the dark side.

45
 PUGSLEY
Whaddaya mean?

GRANDMA
One swig of this and Mary Poppins turns into Medea.
PUGSLEY
I don't understand your references.

TRACK 16 ENDS

GRANDMA
Well, stop the texting and pick up a book once in a while.

(then)
Now, quit whining about your sister. Start thinking about you and how you’re gonna live your life.

(waxing rhapsodic)

Time, my dear, is a thief. She'll steal your soul and flee on little fairy wings.

(then, abruptly)

And stay outta my stuff or I'll rip your leg off and bury it in the back yard.

(and)
I love you.
(As GRANDMA exits, PUGSLEY swipes the Acrimonium from her
cart.) Work this bit where
Pugsley steals the
Acrimonium so it’s
TRACK 17 believable and the
audience can clearly
PUGSLEY see him do it.
WEDNESDAY WILL DRINK AND THEN
SHE'LL BE HERSELF AGAIN
LUCAS WILL LEAVE HER BE
SO SHE CAN TORTURE ME
JUST LIKE SHE ALWAYS DID
'TIL THEN I'M JUST A STRANGE, FAT KID.

46
 (PUGSLEY hugs the bottle. Applause.)

TRACK 17 ENDS If you have a curtain

you’ve been playing
(A DINNER GONG. THE GREAT HALL is revealed, with the FAMILY at downstage of for
previous scenes, you
the banquet table. PUGSLEY moves upstage to
can have your table
his seat.) and chairs pre-set
upstage of it for the
next scene and
reveal here. If you
need to set this
scene, bringing out
table and chairs, etc,
make a solid plan for
having cast and/or
crew do this shift
quickly and smooth-
SCENE CHANGE: Another Part of the House to The Great Hall
ly. Frequently it
works well if each
cast member brings
on their own chair
and places it as they
are seated for the
scene.

47
 Mercifully, for your props
crew, the scene begins
AFTER the table has been
cleared, so no dishes, etc. SCENE 10
Your Ancestors are on
(THE GREAT HALL AND BANQUET TABLE) for this scene. The bit
to play here is that
(Dinner is over.) only the Addams can
see the Ancestors
GOMEZ throughout.
Another magnificent feast -
(pointedly)
- all thanks to my fabulous lady wife, from whom I keep nothing.

MORTICIA
(ending it)
Thank you, dear. And now it's time to play The Game.

ALICE
What kind of game?

MORTICIA
"Full Disclosure."

GOMEZ
Everyone sips from the sacred family chalice –

MORTICIA
(driving the bus here)
- and confesses a secret they've never told anyone. And you have to absolutely tell the truth.

ALICE
I don't think I'd be very good at that game.

MAL
Sure you would.

MORTICIA

And now Gomez will break the ice. My husband has something he needs to disclose.

48
 GOMEZ
No, no, the host goes last.

MORTICIA
Lurch, the sacred chalice!

GOMEZ
This is the sacred Addams Family chalice! Drink from it and your greatest secret will be revealed.

Find a chalice that can take a

(LURCH presents the chalice to GOMEZ. Under MORTICIA'S beating and not break! Do
determined glare, he gingerly takes the chalice and sings.) NOT attempt to use any real
liquid in the chalice. Alice
slams it on the table on p. 54.
#9 FULL DISCLOSURE PART 1

TRACK 18
GOMEZ
FULL DISCLOSURE!
IT'S A GAME THAT WE PLAY
LET YOUR DARKEST SECRETS GIVE YOU AWAY
FACE YOUR DEMONS
AND THEN HAPPILY SAY
I'M PLAYING FULL DISCLOSURE
WITH ALL THESE CRAZY HAPPY PEOPLE

ADDAMS FAMILY & ANCESTORS

FULL DISCLOSURE!
IT'S A GAME THAT WE PLAY
LET YOUR DARKEST SECRETS GIVE YOU AWAY
FACE YOUR DEMONS
AND THEN HAPPILY SAY I'M PLAYING FULL
DISCLOSURE, FULL DISCLOSURE, FULL DISCLOSURE
DISCLOSURE, FULL DISCLOSURE, FULL DISCLOSURE

GOMEZ
Yes. Well. My disclosure is in the form of a fairy tale.

TRACK 18 ENDS

49
 GOMEZ (CONT’D)
Once there was a man who had a beautiful wife and two beautiful children. A humble man who
treasured his wife and worshiped the ground she walked on. Thank you. And everyone lived happily
ever after.
(He sits, and looks hopefully at his wife)
Full Disclosure.

TRACK 19
MORTICIA
Well, we'll just have to come back to you, won't we?

GOMEZ
Yes! Let's hear from Fester. The chalice!

TRACK 19 ENDS Carefully plan who

sits where at the table
and rehearse the timing
TRACK 20 (Chalice-passing music.) of the Chalice pass so
that it falls into Fester’s
hands just as track #20
TRACK 20 ENDS ends.

FESTER
I - am in love!

TRACK 21
ALL
Awww!

MORTICIA
Oh, Fester - who is it?
FESTER
(shyly)
The moon!

ALICE
The moon? He's in love with the moon?

MAL
Yeah, that's normal.

50
 ALICE
That's the most beautiful thing I ever heard!

FESTER
Oh, I haven't told her yet.

EVERYONE
Awww!

FESTER
Full Disclosure.

GMZ/MORT/FSTR/PUG/GRNDM/ALICE/ANCSTRS
FULL DISCLOSURE!

FESTER
JUST EMBRACE IT AND SWOON

GMZ/MORT/PUG/GRNDM/ALICE/ANCSTRS
EMBRACE AND SWOON

FESTER
FALL FROM GRACE OR FALL IN LOVE WITH THE MOON

GMZ/MORT/PUG/GRNDM/ALICE/ANCSTRS
HE LOVES THAT MOON

FESTER
CLOSE YOUR SERMON WITH A SIGNATURE TUNE

GMZ/MORT/FSTR/PUG/GRNDM/ALICE/ANCSTRS
AND CALL IT FULL DISCLOSURE!

MORTICIA
Wednesday's turn!

WEDNESDAY
No!

51
 GRANDMA
Me! Me! Me! Age before beauty!
(stands)
The chalice!

TRACK 21 ENDS

TRACK 22
(drinks and looks at Pugsley)

The kid and I had a little heart-to-heart before. I told him to use his time wisely. Look who’s talking -
how much time have I got left? I'm a hundred and two, I have shingles and arthritis, and when I break
wind it could start the windmills on an old Dutch painting. But I've still got one more round in me.

TRACK 22 ENDS During Grandma’s episode,

GRANDMA (CONT’D) Pugsley ducks under the
table to be ready for the bit
Full Disclo...Full Disclo... on the bottom of this page.
(realizes something)
Oops.

(She spreads her napkin onto her chair and sits.)

(Odd beat)
(MORTICIA stares at her icily. Then--)

MORTICIA
We should've put you down years ago.
(then)
All right. Wednesday's turn.

WEDNESDAY
Not yet. Daddy, talk to her.

MORTICIA Carefully block this

(get on with it) action so that Pugsley
Wednesday. Your turn. The chalice please. Where's the chalice? can easily get from under
the table in time to sing
(PUGSLEY crawls out from under the front of the table.) the next bit.

52
 TRACK 23
PUGSLEY
Yes!
(pours the potion into the chalice)
NOW, WITH A DASH OF POTION
MY SISTER BLOWS HER COOL Use a hot special or spotlight
HOPEFULLY, IN SLOW-MOTION to isolate Pugsley on this
SHE'LL DROP solo. The rest of the company
SHE'LL DROOL should freeze while he sings.
The lights revert back to the
ONE SIP OF ACRIMONIUM previous cue as soon as the
AND THEN SHE WILL CHANGE ensemble starts singing.
BOY, OH BOY, HER FULL DISCLOSURE'S
GONNA BE STRANGE!
This section, starting with Alice
MORT/GMZ/GRNDM/FSTR/PUG/ALICE/ANCSTRS getting a tickle in her throat and
FULL DISCLOSURE! coughing three times over the
next page, should be carefully
MORTICIA blocked and rehearsed many
IT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH! times. It’s timed to music (Track
#23) that ends with Alice
drinking the Acrimonium that
GRANDMA/FESTER/ALICE/PUGS/ANCESTORS Pugsley poured into the chalice.
LA LA LA LA The stage directions map it out.

(The chalice is passed toward WEDNESDAY. ALICE starts coughing.)

GOMEZ
(to Wednesday)
NOW YOU BETTER HIT THE TRUTH LIKE BABE RUTH

GRNDM/FSTR/ALICE/PUG/MORT/ANCESTORS
LA LA LA LA!

(ALICE coughs again. WEDNESDAY receives the chalice. She holds it,
gathering her thoughts, then raises it to her lips...)

GOMEZ/WEDNESDAY
THIS IS TORTURE, LIKE AN IMPACTED TOOTH!

GMZ/MORT/GRNDM/FSTR/ALICE/PUG/ANCSTRS
HOORAY FOR FULL…

53
 (WEDNESDAY is about to drink, but ALICE coughs again. LUCAS
grabs the chalice and hands it to ALICE, who drinks it.)

PUGSLEY
No!!!!
(ALICE'S cheeks flush, her soul darkens, she howls in pain and
slams the cup on the table.)

TRACK 23 ENDS Alice’s hilarious (and a little bit scary)

transformation is a great place to
ALICE explore really letting loose! While she
AHHHHHH “I feel so dark, I feel so dead. seems to get out of control, your actor
All is black inside my face.” should work to find how pros stay IN
control while getting crazy. Her
previous discussion with Morticia about
GOMEZ the nature of marriage and being
Boy, That doesn't even rhyme. Are you ok? truthful, is challenged here as the
Acrimonium unearths her true feelings.
MAL
Well, as you can see, my wife isn't herself. So we'll be on our way.

ALICE
I want to stay, I am starting to enjoy myself!
(in the deepest voice possible)
You got a problem with that?

MAL
(whispering to her)
I did not raise my son date a girl whose family is bunch of creeped-out weirdos.

ALICE
Oh Mal, he's in love. Let him follow his heart.

MAL
Follow his heart? That's crazy!

ALICE
What's wrong with crazy? Crazy is underrated. You used to be crazy about me.

MAL
Lemme get this straight - your son, your only son, is in love with someone who is named for a day of
the week and runs around Central Park with a crossbow - and you're OK with all that?

54
 ALICE
If it makes him happy, yes.

MAL
Well, you better come to your senses or I'm gonna have to take steps.

ALICE
Good idea. Why don't you start by taking steps outside. Full disclosure - I am done with you being
the boss of this family! I am running things now!

(MAL rises to help ALICE, but she's a changed woman.)

GOMEZ
Ooooh. That's too dark even for us.

#10 FULL DISCLOSURE PART 2

TRACK 24

GOMEZ/MORT/FSTR/GRNDM/PUGS/ANCSTRS
FULL DISCLOSURE

GOMEZ
WOW, THAT STORY WAS GRIM

GOMEZ/MORT/FSTR/GRNDM/PUGS/ANCSTRS
WE'RE TALKING GRIM

GOMEZ
FILLED WITH FEAR AND LOATHING UP TO THE BRIM

GOMEZ/MORT/FSTR/GRNDM/PUGS/ANCSTRS
THAT'S QUITE A BRIM

GOMEZ
JUST IMAGINE BEING MARRIED TO HIM -
(MAL interrupts, rising. He's had enough.)

55
 TRACK 24 ENDS
MAL
OK, Addams, I tried But you people are insane.

TRACK 25
MAL (CONT’D)
You got a house where there shouldn't be a house, a zombie for a butler, and a man who's dating
the moon –

FESTER
Oh, I wouldn't exactly say we're dating.

MAL
Full disclosure. We’re leaving. Lucas, help your mother down.

(WEDNESDAY'S had enough)

WEDNESDAY
You were right, Lucas.

MORTICIA
Right about what?

WEDNESDAY
Thanks anyway, Daddy.

MORTICIA
Thanks for what??

WEDNESDAY
We should have just told her.

MORTICIA
Told me what???

(Before GOMEZ can answer, WEDNESDAY cuts him off.)

WEDNESDAY
(breaking in)
It doesn't matter.

56
 TRACK 25 ENDS

WEDSNEDAY (CONT’D)
Lucas and I love each other. And we're getting married.

MORTICIA
What?!

TRACK 26
MORTICIA (CONT’D)
(to Gomez, in horror)
That's what you kept from me?
ALICE
(to Morticia)
No secrets, huh? HA HA HA.

WEDNESDAY
YES WE KEPT A SECRET!

MORTICIA
AND YOU KEPT IT FROM ME?

LUCAS
SO, WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!

MORTICIA & ANCESTORS

ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED?

GOMEZ & ANCESTORS

REALLY MARRIED?

ALL (EXCEPT WEDNESDAY AND LUCAS)

"MARRIED" MARRIED?
FULL DISCLOSURE

MORT/ALICE/WED/GMZ/MAL/LUC/GRND/FSTR
WHAT A MISERABLE GAME

57
 ALL ALICE
PLAY IT ONCE
AND LIFE IS NEVER THE SAME AH! AH! AH! AH!
SOMEONE STARTED IT
SO SOMEONE'S TO BLAME

ALL WEDNESDAY
ENOUGH OF FULL THIS ISN’T HAPPENING
OH NO THIS CAN’T BE
HAPPENING! STOP!

TRACK 26 ENDS

FESTER

There you are: Secrets exposed. Marriages threatened. Delicious drama. What happens now? Can this be
repaired? Or do you all leave in thirty minutes feeling vaguely depressed? Things are upside down.
That’s what happens when you play...

TRACK 27

ALL
FULL DISCLOSURE!

TRACK 27 ENDS

(Blackout.)

If you need an intermission, take it

here. This is where the full show
takes a break. The Young@Part
version is well short enough to play
right on through, but striking the
‘Full Disclosure’ table, chairs, etc
SCENE CHANGE:to Morticia’s Budoir can take a few minutes. If you opt
for no intermission, use the ‘Entre
Act’ music to cover the change into
Morticia’s entrance.

58
 SCENE 11

#11 ENTR’ACTE

TRACK 28

(MORTICIA'S BOUDOIR)

TRACK 28 ENDS

(MORTICIA enters, livid, pursued by GOMEZ.)

MORTICIA
Humiliated! Shamed! Mortified!

GOMEZ
Cara –

MORTICIA
I told that Beineke woman we kept nothing from each other.
GOMEZ
My sweet, my only - Wednesday wasn't sure about the boy and didn’t want to worry you.

MORTICIA
Oh, so you didn't dare tell me, because I'm such a terrible mother.

GOMEZ
You're a wonderful mother.

MORTICIA

And look at the thanks I get. I gave up my dreams for the sake of this family. I wanted to travel. I
wanted to see Paris! I never saw the sewers of Paris! And now it'll never happen!

GOMEZ
Cara –

59
 MORTICIA
So that's how it ends... alone and forgotten living on cat food and broken dreams - that's what
happens to mothers. Look at yours. She came for the weekend, the weeks turned into months, it's
twelve years later and she's still up there living in our attic. Well, I'm not going to end up like your
mother.

GOMEZ
My mother? I thought she was your mother.

(Bad look from MORTICIA.)

No, seriously.
MORTICIA
You lied to me, I can't live with that. GET OUT!

TRACK 29

(GOMEZ exits, ANCESTORS begin to enter in as MORTICIA sings.)

#12 JUST AROUND THE CORNER

MY DAUGHTER'S GETTING MARRIED This is a big ol’ showbiz number. If

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S TRUE you can isolate Morticia in a spotlight
SHE DOESN'T ASK HER MOTHER for the beginning, or bring in your
grand drape if you have one, you can
BEFORE SHE SAYS "I DO?" delay your Ancestor’s entrance a bit as
AND HOW ABOUT MY HUSBAND? she establishes the song.
INCONSTANT, NAIVE!
THIS EVENING'S GETTING SERIOUS
THESE OHIOANS WON'T LEAVE
BUT I CAN'T LET THESE LATEST TROUBLES
ROB ME OF MY BLISS
FOR WHEN I'M SCARED OF TRUE DISASTER
I REMEMBER THIS...

DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

WAITING PATIENTLY TO STRIKE
ONE UNPLANNED ELECTROCUTION
THAT'S THE KIND OF END

60
 MORTICIA (CONT’D)
I CAN COMPREHEND
WHEN I'M FEELING UNINSPIRED
OR I NEED A LITTLE SPREE
I'M REBORN KNOWING DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
COMING AFTER ME
(spoken)
Coroner. Get it? Death is just around the coroner...
FEMALE ANCESTOR 1
DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
WAITING HIGH UPON THE HILL

FEMALE ANCESTOR 2
SOMEONE BURIED IN AN AVALANCHE
THAT'S THE KIND OF GIG SHE COULD REALLY DIG

FEMALE ANCESTOR 3
Morticia’s spoken line, “Ha cha” is a nod to
MARRIAGE OFTEN DISAPPOINTS YOU the late great Jimmy Durante. At the end
NOT EACH HUSBAND IS A GEM of a gag he would say, in his trademark
rasp, “Ha cha-cha-cha!” If you have a
Morticia who can do a bit of YouTube
FEMALE ANCESTOR 4 research, it’s a pretty easy impression to
SO, YOU’LL MOURN KNOWING learn.
DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
COMING AFTER THEM

MORTICIA
IF LIFE'S ALL PLUMS
I'LL MUDDLE THROUGH SOME
BUT WHEN DEATH COMES
I HOPE IT'S GRUESOME (HA-CHA)
This section wants, needs, just has to have
MORTICIA & FEMALE ANCESTORS a big ol’ Broadway kick line. Listen to the
DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER music after Morticia’s “Ha-cha” and you’ll
AND YOU HAVE TO HEED THE CALL hear it. It’s just four bars, so get ‘em in
place in time to kick!

FEMALE ANCESTORS
DON'T ASK WHY

MORTICIA
FOR YOUR DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

61
 FEMALE ANCESTORS
YOU AND I

MORTICIA
HAPPY BEING BOTH THE MOURNED AND MOURNER

FEMALE ANCESTORS
SAY GOODBYE

MORTICIA & FEMALE ANCESTORS

BECAUSE DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
COMING FOR US ALL!

TRACK 29 ENDS

(The GRIM REAPER'S scythe takes MORTICIA off as they all exit.)

The scythe used to take

Morticia off is a
variation of the old ‘get a
hook’ Vaudeville gag. The
scythe can easily be made
with a cardboard curved
blade on a very long pole.
The gag is staged so that
SCENE CHANGE: The boudior to somewhere outside the mansion.
Morticia is in full control
of being taken offstage
by the prop.

62
 “The Moon and Me” is basically a place
where the plot’s fast and furious pace can
SCENE 12 rest for a bit and we get a pure musical
theatre number to showcase the girls. You
(Somewhere outside the mansion. FESTER can have the moon portrayed by a dancer
enters, looking for love.) dressed in white ballet gear representing
the, or by a simple light projection
TRACK 30 on the backstage wall. Or fly in a paper
moon (under a cardboard sky;).
FESTER
What a cold and dark night. It’s perfect! I think I’ll sneak a moment with my little moon.

#12A INTO “THE MOON AND ME”

(calling into the dark void)

Yoo hoo, where are you hiding? Are you playing with me, my only one?

(The MOON enters, shyly.)

There you are! Look at her. Lovely, is she not? And so far away. Yes, in matters of love, my dears,
distance is our friend. Closeness? No thank you. Quarter of a million miles away - that’s a good
distance for romance. We never fight, each waning is a heartbreaking separation...

If you have an Ancestor/Dancer

(The FEMALE ANCESTORS appear, playing the moon, you can make
with
r parasols.) a moon for the actor to hold by
stretching white fabric around
a Hula Hoop, attaching it with
FEMALE ANCESTORS velcro or other means to tie it tight.
If you can find a bit of theatri-
Ohh! cal scrim, it will catch light
really well, but even an old
white sheet will work.
FESTER
...Each meeting - a happy reunion.

FEMALE ANCESTORS
Awww!

(The LADIES part, revealing FESTER in a 1920’s style bathing suit,

and strumming his banjolele. He looks up at the moon and sings to
her--)

63
 #13 THE MOON AND ME

FESTER
WHEN THE DAYLIGHT ENDS
AND THE MOON ASCENDS
I WOULD RATHER BE
Not all of your Ancestors need
JUST THE MOON AND ME to have parasols, but, if you can
WHEN I FEEL HER PULL find or make enough, they are
THEN MY HEART IS FULL great props with which to build
easy choreography. Super cheap
AND THE NIGHT IS SOFTLY SWEETLY CALLING, translucent parasols are
"FESTER, LOOK AND SEE" available at
LA LA LA LA LA LA www.mardigrasoutlet.com and
other outlets. (Search ‘cheap
LA LA LA LA parasols’:)
LA LA LA LA LA
IT'S A DREAM THAT'S COMING TRUE
WHEN THE MOON SAYS "I LOVE YOU"

(The FEMALE ANCESTORS sing behind FESTER now.)

HOW IT CAN FEEL

WHEN LOVE IS REAL

(FESTER dances with the MOON and the STARS.)

FESTER & FEMALE ANCESTORS

LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA
IT'S A DREAM THAT'S COMING TRUE
WHEN THE MOON SAYS "I LOVE YOU"
IT'S A DREAM THAT'S COMING TRUE
WHEN THE MOON SAYS

FEMALE ANCESTORS
"I LOVE YOU"
SCENE CHANGE: Outside the mansion to the nearby
Addams Family tree.
TRACK 30 ENDS

(FESTER disappears into the moony night. Applause.)

64
 SCENE 13
(UNDER THE ADDAMS FAMILY TREE)

(GOMEZ sits on a swing looking at the Moon. WEDNESDAY crosses

furiously, with suitcase and crossbow.)
GOMEZ
Wednesday! The Addams Tree can be
done with a a few hanging
branches, a backdrop,
WEDNESDAY projection or pure imagina-
Don't even! tion. Whatever the approach,
take care to firmly establish
where the tree is because it
GOMEZ figures key into blocking the
Where do you think you're going, young lady? all-important arrow to apple
sequence coming up.

WEDNESDAY
Away.

GOMEZ
If the two of you wanted to get married, you should've – This is a long-ish scene that
contains a lot of action in ten pages.
By the time you get to p.75, 2/3 of
WEDNESDAY the love plots that must resolve are
(cutting him off) done! It’s a good idea to pull this
There's not gonna be any marriage! section early and plan your blocking
patterns carefully. After the
opening set-up with Gomez,
GOMEZ Wednesday and Lucas, your
No? Why? Ancestors will be entering to make
the magic happen at the end of
“Crazier Than You,” where they
WEDNESDAY guide the arrow to split the apple
He bailed! rather than Lucas. That should lead
seamlessly to Fester’s handoff of
Mal to Alice for their reconciliation.
GOMEZ
What? A breach of promise? An outrage!

WEDNESDAY
I hate him!

GOMEZ
Well, it's a beginning. Something to build on.

65
 WEDNESDAY
He says he can't live without me, and then he lets me go.

I love him. Why doesn't he love me?

GOMEZ
You just said you hated him. Which is it?

WEDNESDAY
Both.

GOMEZ
Now you've got it. Love conquers all! It even conquered you, my adorable Attila.

(LUCAS emerges.)

WEDNESDAY
How long have you been standing in the shadows?

LUCAS
My whole life.

GOMEZ

Nice. You should be a writer. Have you met my daughter? This is Wednesday. The best thing that will
ever happen to you. Don’t screw it up.

(GOMEZ exits.)

WEDNESDAY
Yes?

LUCAS
Look, I can't stand the idea of not being with you.

WEDNESDAY
Five minutes ago you could.

66
 LUCAS
No, but see - the lover always comes back. Ulysses. Tristan. Romeo.

WEDNESDAY
Listen, I'm home-schooled. What's your point?

LUCAS
I can’t live without you.

#14 CRAZIER THAN YOU

(An ANCESTOR bride appears holding a bright red apple .

WEDNESDAY takes it from her, and she disappears.)
The apple can be made by cutting in
WEDNESDAY half a cheap craft store ornamental
Ok. Prove it. apple and applying velcro to each side
so it can be split and re-attached for
tech and performances. The apple is
split in two on p. 71. The effect need
not be a realistic, as the split is
TRACK 31 handled by Ancestors who guide the
arrow through the apple in a comical
slow motion effect.
Here.

(WEDNESDAY hands the apple to LUCAS and picks up her crossbow.)

Put this apple on your head and stand here.

LUCAS
(realizing)
Wait - you're gonna - ?

WEDNESDAY
Uh-huh.

LUCAS
You're crazy.

67
 WEDNESDAY
And you're not crazy enough. That's the problem.

ANCESTOR BRIDE
ONCE SHE WAS HOPEFUL
THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE
LIFE, LESS THAN PERFECT
FINALLY BEGUN
BUT, NOW SHE WONDERS
ARE YOU UNDONE?

ANCESTOR 1
SHE WANTS TO TREASURE YOU IN DEATH AS WELL AS LIFE
SHE WANTS TO CUT YOU WITH HER LOVE AND WITH HER KNIFE
BUT CAN SHE LIVE AS YOUR TORMENTOR AND YOUR WIFE?

ANCESTOR 2
WHEN SHE IS CRAZIER THAN YOU
SHE’S CRAZIER THAN YOU
AND NOTHING UP 'TIL NOW HAS PROVED HER WRONG

WEDNESDAY
I'M CRAZIER THAN YOU
THAT'S JUST THE OVERVIEW
SO GET ON BOARD OR SIMPLY MOVE ALONG

LUCAS
I'M NOT IMPULSIVE

WEDNESDAY
AND YET I TRULY LOVE YOU

LUCAS
I'M NOT DERANGED

WEDNESDAY
I'D NEVER ASK THAT OF YOU

68
 LUCAS
BUT IN THIS MOMENT
I KNOW I'VE CHANGED
I WANNA CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST
GO TO MOZAMBIQUE
I WANNA BE IMPULSIVE
WANT TO BE UNIQUE
CAN YOU BELIEVE I MEAN IT
WHEN YOU HEAR ME SHRIEK?
(He hands her the apple.)
ANCESTOR 3
Work with these props (the apple,
HE’S CRAZIER THAN YOU
blindfold, crossbow) early in rehearsal
HE’S CRAZIER THAN YOU with emphasis on the action of the
AND NOW HE'LL PROVE TO YOU EXACTLY HOW-OW-OW scene. The prop used for the blindfold
is a costume prop. try a few ties to see
HE’S CRAZIER THAN YOU
which can be best used for this gag.
Your LUCAS needs to tie it convincing-
(LUCAS blindfolds himself with his tie.) ly around his head, covering his eyes,
but still be able to actually see the
stage enough to do the blocking.
LUCAS
I'LL DO WHAT YOU CAN DO
FROM HERE ON IN I GIVE MY SOLEMN
VOW-OW-OW-OW

(WEDNESDAY hands LUCAS the apple. He puts the apple on his

head. The ANCESTORS enter to help WEDNESDAY.)

ANCESTOR 4
PLUCK THE ARROW FROM ITS QUIVER
HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND, BE BRAVE

ANCESTOR 5
PIERCE THE APPLE NOT HIS LIVER
OR WE'RE DANCING ON HIS GRAVE

ANCESTOR 6
PLACE IT IN THE BOW AND STEADY

LUCAS
CAN'T YOU SHOOT THAT THING ALREADY?!?

69
 WEDNESDAY
I'M GONNA DEMONSTRATE THAT FEAR IS MY IDEAL

LUCAS
GIRL, BELIEVE ME
FEAR IS YOUR APPEAL

WEDNESDAY
CAUSE IN THE MOMENT THAT YOU'RE FRIGHTENED
LIFE IS REAL

LUCAS
THEN MY LIFE MUST BE REAL REAL

WEDNESDAY LUCAS
AND IN A FLASH AND IN A FLASH
WHEN I RELEASE WHEN YOU RELEASE
AND SEAL THE DEAL AND SEAL THE DEAL

(LUCAS rips off his blindfold)

LUCAS
No, no, no, wait! OK, OK! You want crazy - here's crazy.

(He ties the blindfold over WEDNESDAY'S eyes instead.)

I will guide the arrow! I'll guide it with my love!

WEDNESDAY
How does that work exactly?

LUCAS

We're connected, see? We're destined to be together! So nothing bad can happen!

WEDNESDAY
Yeah, but what if I miss?

70
 TRACK 31 ENDS

LUCAS
Then you'll be the last thing I ever see.
WEDNESDAY
That is so hot.
Even the simplest lighting
(LUCAS runs to the tree, apple on his head. WEDNESDAY aims, set-ups offer a strobe effect...if
blindly. The ANCESTORS enter.) you can flip the lights on and
off repeatedly...you’re there. A
true strobe is effective here, but
TRACK 32 any kind of over the top light
cue will do to highlight this
LUCAS important sequence.
Ready!
(WEDNESDAY fires her crossbow. In SLO-MO "Matrix" rhythm, the
ANCESTORS guide the arrow to split the apple. Then back to normal
speed, as LUCAS screams.)
This slo-mo bit is a great chance to let
your Ancestor ensemble shine. They
TRACK 32 ENDS save the day here as they magically
guide the arrow to split the apple. Work
WEDNESDAY with your group to time the transfer of
Omigod! the arrow in slow motion from the
crossbow all the way across the stage to
(She tears the blindfold off, to see LUCAS unhurt.) split the apple as they hand it from
person to person on its journey. Pull this
LUCAS
section early in rehearsal and time it
Gotcha. carefully to the music (Track 32).

TRACK 33

LUCAS (CONT’D)
Now will you marry me?
WEDNESDAY
Oh, yes, Lewis. A thousand times yes.

LUCAS
Lucas. Lucas.

WEDNESDAY
My bad.
(She runs, he happily chases her off.
MAL appears from behind the tree thrown by what he's just heard.
Now FESTER appears.)

71
 FESTER
Did you hear that?

(Mal nods.)

The boy was willing to die for love. Hard to believe he's your son.

MAL

I’ve turned into an unfeeling, rigid, selfish control freak. Fester, how can I fix this? What do I do?

FESTER
Don't worry, it will come to you.

TRACK 33 ENDS

(FESTER signals off stage, ALICE appears. Mal stops when he sees
her.)

Just remember how you felt the first time you saw her.

(Fester leaves, taking all the ANCESTORS with him. MAL stares at
ALICE while she waits. Then, finally--)

MAL
(Hopefully)
Alice. It's Mal.

ALICE
I know.

MAL

No, the old Mal. The Fun guy you first fell in love with.

ALICE
(Remembering, a smile)
You were pretty crazy back then, you know that?

72
 MAL
Yeah, I know.

(MAL clears his throat once and turns out)

"I guess I got stuck, Alice –

More than most men.
But mama, I swear
I'll be crazy again."

ALICE
Mal, you're rhyming.

TRACK 34
MAL
For you, baby. Just for you.

I LEARNED FROM LUCAS

I LEARNED FROM YOU
I WASN'T HAPPY.
I WASN'T TRUE.
BUT THEN THE WAY YOU SPOKE AT DINNER TOUCHED MY SOUL
COMPLETELY CRAZY, YET COMPLETELY IN CONTROL
SO, WHEN YOU KICKED ME OUT I SAID "LET'S ROCK AND ROLL!"

SO I'LL BE
CRAZIER THAN YOU
MUCH CRAZIER THAN YOU
IT WARMS ME UP TO SEE YOU LIVING LAR-AR-ARGE
WHEN I'M
CRAZIER THAN YOU
FAR CRAZIER THAN YOU
I'LL DROP THE PLAN
YOU'LL BE THE MAN IN CHAR-AR-AR-ARGE

ALICE
ALL THIS TIME AND ALL I NEEDED
WAS THE HOPE THAT YOU'D SUBMIT

73
 MAL

TOO AFRAID AND TOO CONCEITED

TO BELIEVE THAT YOU WERE IT
BUT THE JOURNEY'S NOW COMPLETED

ALICE
Oh Mal.

(their special phrase, inverted)

Wednesday & Lucas are
I missed you, pumpkin! Come to Mama! discovered in light, keeping
them isolated from Mal & Alice.
(WEDNESDAY and LUCAS are discovered in another location.) Hot white spotlights on each
couple are great here as this
upbeat reprise really gets
WEDNESDAY & LUCAS cooking musically, driving to
I'M GONNA TREASURE YOU IN DEATH AS WELL AS LIFE the powerful ending button.

ALICE
MAL, YOU'RE RHYMING

WEDNESDAY & LUCAS

I WANNA CUT YOU WITH MY LOVE AND WITH MY KNIFE

MAL
ALL THE TIM-ING

WEDNESDAY LUCAS

NOW I CAN LIVE NOW YOU CAN LIVE

AS YOUR TORMENTOR AS MY TORMENTOR
AND YOUR WIFE AND MY WIFE

ALICE
OH MAL!

74
 WEDNESDAY & LUCAS ALICE & MAL

'CAUSE I AM CRAZIER
THAN YOU I'M CRAZIER
I'M CRAZIER THAN YOU
THAN YOU I’LL/PLEASE TELL YOU/ME WHAT
AND LIVE OR DIE TO DO
I’LL LET YOU HAVE
CONTRO-O-OL. I’M OOH!
CRAZIER
THAN YOU I'M CRAZIER
SO THAN YOU
SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO.

ALL FOUR

FROM HERE ON IN
YOU'RE SINGING TO MY SO-O-O-UL
MY SOUL

TRACK 34 ENDS

(Applause. The two couples run off!)

SCENE CHANGE: Addams Family tree to Pugsley’s

Bedroom. (See Set note at top of next page for options).

75
 SCENE 14
Set options: If getting a bed
(PUGSLEY'S BEDROOM) on to set Pugsley’s room is a
problem, you can just play
this scene as if Pugsley is
#14A BEDTIME STORY
walking out of his room and
meets Morticia in the
TRACK 35 hallway or other room of the
house. At the end of the
(MORTICIA rides PUGSLEY'S bed as it travels SL.) scene, she simply sends him
off stage.
MORTICIA
What's wrong, my little cockroach?

PUGSLEY
I can't sleep.

MORTICIA
Why not?

PUGSLEY
There's no monster in the closet.

MORTICIA
(wearily, her mind elsewhere)
I'm sure he's hiding someplace else.

PUGSLEY
Mommy ... I have a Full Disclosure.

MORTICIA
Yes?

PUGSLEY
What if you tried to do something to somebody and you ended up doing it to somebody else by
mistake?

MORTICIA
Are we talking about anyone we know?

PUGSLEY
Well, I was talking to Grandma before, and she told me –

76
 MORTICIA
Don't listen to that ancient woman. She may not even be part of this family.

PUGSLEY
Is Wednesday really gonna marry that guy?

MORTICIA
She might.

PUGSLEY
Oh, no! Make me feel better, Mommy.

MORTICIA

Life is a tightrope, my child, and at the other end is your coffin. Better?

PUGSLEY
Uh-huh. Thanks, Mommy.

MORTICIA
Now go back to bed or the monster won’t come out and eat you up.

(PUGSLEY exits)

Sleep well, my little vermin. Your mommy's life has fallen apart and she needs to go away for a while.
And if you miss me, you can thank your father!

(MORTICIA exits)

TRACK 35 ENDS

SCENE CHANGE: Pugsley’s Bedroom to elsewhere in the

mansion.

77
 SCENE 15
(Inside the mansion.)

TRACK 36

(GOMEZ and LURCH. GOMEZ is a man with a mission, pacing, full of

plans. He holds a GUIDE BOOK.)

TRACK 36 ENDS

GOMEZ

One little secret - and she throws me out! What could I do? But my darling, my only one - I make it
up to you! You want to see the world? Done! You want sewers? I'll show you sewers fit for a queen!

(to LURCH)

Where's that hotel guide?

(leafing through)

Ah! Hotel Caca. Rue de Toilette. Condemned six times by the Board of Health. Rating: minus three
stars. No windows. No towels. No staff. Bingo! The worst hotel in Paris! Get them on the line and book the
worst room! Hurry, this is the final round, my friend!

(FESTER enters in a hurry as LURCH exits)

FESTER
Gomez! Gomez! Morticia's leaving! I saw her packing a suitcase and she is heading this way.

GOMEZ
What?
FESTER

It's the end of the family! (To GOMEZ) Fix it!

(He exits. MORTICIA enters with sunglasses and a suitcase, followed

by an ANCESTOR.)

GOMEZ
So it's true. 78
 MORTICIA
I can't live with a man who keeps secrets.
(To ANCESTOR)
Put these in the hearse.
(ANCESTOR exits with the suitcase and sunglasses.)
GOMEZ
There's another secret I haven't told you.

MORTICIA
Hunh. What?

GOMEZ

That you are the most exquisite, the most magnificent, the most desirable of all women.

MORTICIA
That's no secret.

GOMEZ
Many years ago, when you wanted to marry me, we came to your father and told him, and he said,
"Wonderful, let's go tell your mother." And what did you say?

MORTICIA
How could I possibly remember what I -
GOMEZ

You said, "No! She'll ask a lot of embarrassing questions and wreck the whole thing.”

MORTICIA

That's different. My mother was condescending, judgmental, and withholding, and loved nothing more
than stirring up trouble.

GOMEZ
Uh huh.

79
 MORTICIA
(realizes)
Oh God, I've turned into my mother.
GOMEZ
And Wednesday is you. Isn't it wonderful?

MORTICIA
You did that like a lawyer.

#15 LIVE BEFORE WE DIE

TRACK 37

GOMEZ
No, just a husband and a father. Not so easy. In fact,
very difficult.
This is all leading up
to the Tango. Keep
LET'S LIVE BEFORE WE DIE this opening section
LET'S LAUGH BEFORE WE CRY very simple and still.
LET'S HOLD EACH OTHER TIGHT The only real
movement here is
AND DANCE when Gomez extends
IF I HAVE CAUSED YOU PAIN his hand.
IT'S EASY TO EXPLAIN
COME, FILL ME WITH DELIGHT
AND DANCE
(GOMEZ extends his hand. MORTICIA doesn't move.)
MORTICIA
TOMORROW I MAY BE
IN RAINY GAY PAREE
GOMEZ
PLEASE STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
AND DANCE

MORTICIA
I'M NOT A CASTANET
WHO CLICKS WITH NO REGRET

GOMEZ
YOU'RE MORE THAN THAT BY FAR
SO DANCE

80
 GOMEZ & MORTICIA
THE PLACE WE'RE IN
CAN NEVER BE WHAT WAS

GOMEZ
'TIL WE BEGIN
TO DO WHAT DANCING DOES
MY DARLING I WAS BAD
BAD HUSBAND AND BAD DAD
INSTEAD OF BEING SAD

GOMEZ & MORTICIA

ALONE WE'RE LOST
WE'RE DRIFTING OUT TO SEA
BUT SIDE BY SIDE
WE'RE GLOOMY AS CAN BE

GOMEZ
AS GLOOMY AS CAN BE
MORTICIA, I WAS WRONG
I KNEW IT ALL ALONG
FORGIVE ME WITH A SONG

MORTICIA
AND

#16 TANGO DE AMOR

DANCE...

TRACK 37 ENDS

TRACK 38 Pull this section early and give it some extra rehearsal
with you or your choreographer. There are many great
examples of classic Tango motifs to look at online.
(MORTICIA and GOMEZ do a tango) Keeping simple, elegant lines and basic moves can make
this a highlight. While it is lighthearted, it should be taken
TRACK 38 ENDS very seriously by Morticia and Gomez. It must be clear by
the end of the song that she has forgiven him.

81
 This beat sets ups the classic “Shakespeare’s Act V”
where a lot of action is wrapped up quickly and all
GOMEZ our chickens come home to roost. Think about
I am calling all family as witness. groups of actors, entrances and exits and keeping
your staging sharp as you head towards the finale.
(Ancestors enter)
While I promise to forever be a proper and honest husband until we’re blessed with death.

(ALICE & MAL and WEDNESDAY & LUCAS enter) Note your Ancestors
entrance at the top of
MAL this page, and the rest
of the principal
Addams - you've changed our lives! entrances coming up.
This denouement
(shakes Gomez' hand) scene should be paced
briskly. Keep in mind
ALICE that as each group
(to Gomez and Morticia) enters they are getting
in place for the big
How can we ever thank you? finale reprise of the
opening number, just
GOMEZ two pages away!

Tell your friends. Word-of-mouth is so important.

(to Wednesday)

Young lady, step forward and speak the words that every mother longs to hear.

WEDNESDAY
I'm sorry.

(GOMEZ brings MORTICIA forward to WEDNESDAY.)

MORTICIA
You really want to marry this boy?

WEDNESDAY
I do. (deep breath) Mother, I need to ask you something.

MORTICIA
Yes?
(WEDNESDAY hesitates. LUCAS joins her.)

WEDNESDAY
Can we have your blessing?

82
 MORTICIA

Of course. May you have many children, and may they give you as much grief as you’ve given us.

GOMEZ
Attention everybody! I have a Full Disclosure. I'm taking my beautiful wife to Paris!

MORTICIA
Oh, Gomez! The sewers!

GOMEZ
Special package. One day, seven nights.

(FESTER appears, wearing a leather flight helmet and goggles. He

has a rocket strapped to his back.)

GOMEZ
Fester, Fester - What are you doing?

FESTER
I'm embracing the unknown!

MORTICIA Fester’s exit is a very sweet and

comical moment. How you stage it
Au revoir, Fester. May you find your bliss. depends largely on your performance
space and where he can get a
ALICE running start and exit with a leap
offstage that suggests his launch.
Excuse me, Fester, but where are you going? What really sells this moment is
teaching your entire ensemble to
FESTER really “see” the same spot rising in
(A la Ralph Kramden) the sky as they watch him fly away.
To the moon, Alice.

(to the MOON)

I'm coming, my love. Stay full!
Fester’s ‘a al Ralph Kram-
den’, is a nod to the late
(FESTER exits, his rocket sputtering. THEN ROCKET IGNITION! great Jackie Gleason who
GOMEZ, points out to the sky, as FESTER flies off.) made the line, “To the moon,
Alice,” famous in his seminal
1950’s TV show, “The
GOMEZ Honeymooners.”
Fly, my lunatic brother! Fly on wings of love!

83
 (GRANDMA enters, dragging PUGSLEY on, with LURCH'S help.
GRANDMA holds a familiar green bottle.)

GRANDMA
OK, fun-seekers! My Acrimonium was missing, so I sniffed around. Tell ‘em what happened, you little
bed-bug.

PUGSLEY
You're all so smart, you figure it out.

GOMEZ
Alright, let's see - you were afraid you'd lose your sister-

GRANDMA
So you stole my Acrimonium –

MORTICIA
- to make Wednesday and Lucas fall out of love with each other –

WEDNESDAY
- but I never got to drink it because –

LUCAS
- I passed it to my mother –

ALICE
- and I drank it, and became who I really am –

MAL
- which made me fall in love with my family all over again -

MORTICIA
- and I reached deep into my soul and forgave your father.

GOMEZ

Young man, for purely selfish motives, you turned a simple dinner party into a night from hell.

84
 MORTICIA
We couldn't be more proud.

WEDNESDAY
Pugsley, you're an artist! You rearranged life itself, and it all came out even. You’re the best brother in
the world.

PUGSLEY
So you're still going to torture me?

WEDNESDAY
Of course. Until you get a girl of your own.

MORTICIA
(proudly)
My son. You embraced the darkness of your despair and suddenly the world makes sense. You are a
true Addams!

GOMEZ
(to ANCESTORS)

Love triumphs at last! My beloved Ancestors, you are free to return, til we meet again. We aren’t losing
a daughter, we're gaining three Beinekes. Welcome to the family!
Try to isolate this final exchange between
(to MORTICIA) Morticia and Gomez so that it really
Are you unhappy, my darling? resonates and is clearly received by the
audience. Work with your actors to find
MORTICIA rich texture on this brief, re-assuring beat
that takes us to the finale.
Oh yes. Completely.

#17 FINALE WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS

TRACK 39

ALL
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

MALE ANCESTORS
THAT'S RIGHT, WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

85
 ADDAMS FAMILY, BEINEKES, & FEMALE ANCESTORS
YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIAL DUTY

MALE ANCESTORS
LATE NIGHT! OUT WITH THE ADDAMS!

ADDAMS FAMILY, BEINEKES, & FEMALE ANCESTORS

WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS

MALE ANCESTORS
WITH ONE BITE

ALL
YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO THE CLAN

LURCH
IT'S FAMILY FIRST AND FAMILY LAST
AND FAMILY BY AND BY

ALL
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS As you stage the Finale, get your
THE STANDARD ANSWERS DON'T APPLY groups ready for Curtain Call if they
aren’t already there. This will help the
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADDAMS show go smoothly from the end to the
YOU DO WHAT ADDAMS DO OR bows without a pause.
DIE!

TRACK 39 ENDS
#18 BOWS/EXIT MUSIC

TRACK 40 The bows music is just 40

seconds, so like any good
curtain call, it needs to
move right along.
TRACK 40 ENDS
Suggested groups:
Company Bow
1. Ancestors I
2. Ancestors II
3. Grandma, Pugsley, Lurch
4. Alice, Mal and Fester
5. Wednesday and Lucas
6. Morticia and Gomez
7. Final Company Bow

86
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