Chapter 7:

Conflict Resolution

Communicating in the Workplace, First Edition

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.
All rights reserved

Conflict Important

Conflict is the internal or external

tension that occurs when you anticipate
difficulty meeting important needs.

Boss, spouse, child, etc.

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

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Conflict Types

Five leading causes of conflict:

Misunderstanding-miscommunication

Disrespect or disregard for other people

Conflicting egos

Impatience

Fear and insecurity over loss of control

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Types

Pseudo conflicts

Not real conflicts; they are perceived.

Two causes: faulty assumptions and false dilemmas
Faulty assumptions: mistaking assumptions for facts
False dilemmas: people only see two solutions to a
problem

Fact conflicts

Parties disagree about information that could easily be

verified
Fact conflicts can turn into ego conflicts

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Types

Ego conflicts

Value conflicts

A dispute centers on status or power

Initial argument may be over a factual question
Conflict centers on who has the right facts

Focus on personal beliefs

Value rights, religion, etc.

Need conflicts

Needs of one individual clash with the needs of another

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Management Styles

Avoiders

See conflict as hopeless and useless

Are impersonal or distant

Remove self mentally or physically

Lack commitment to finding solutions (time, energy,

confidence or skills)

Be an Avoider: to buy time, to defuse strong

emotions, if the conflict isnt worth it

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Management Styles

Accommodators

Believe conflict is destructive

Overvalue maintaining relationships

Undervalue own needs

Dont make waves

Want peace at any price

Be an Accommodator: when the issue isnt that

important to you or when conceding is easier

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Management Styles

Forcers

Believe winning is the only thing

Love challenge and achievement

Express anger when others dont agree

Are willing to sacrifice others who dont agree

Typically use emotional appeals, strong deliveries and

persistence

Be a Forcer: when decisions have to be made quickly, crisis

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Management Styles

Compromisers

Believe half is better than none

Want each side to gain something

Use voting or bargaining to decide

Avoid the real issues

Typically use maneuvering, negotiating and trading

Be a Compromiser: disagreement isnt vital

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Management Styles

Collaborators

Believe both parties can meet their needs

See conflict as a natural way to meet needs

Want to hear the needs of others

View the other as equal in conflict

Be a Collaborator: when there is time, if both parties

are willing to work together

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Recognize the enemies that can limit your

ability to manage conflict effectively.

Your desire to explain your side first

Failure to listen attentively

Fear of losing control, what you value

Misconception that one must win and the other must

lose

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Identify your needs and those of the other person.

Keeps you focused on the issue

Identify the needs
Be empathic

Plan what you want to say.

Four-Part Assertion Message

Describe the behavior
Identify your feelings
State the tangible consequences
Make a request

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Choose the right time.

Relaxed, free from distractions and prepared to

spend time

Take turns speaking and listening.

Listen open-mindedly rather than defensively

Paraphrase one another

Encourage active listening

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Set the stage for finding a solution.

Work collaboratively

Brainstorm

Express appreciation.

Thank the other person

End the discussion on a positive note

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved

Responding to Criticism

Three types of criticism:

Manipulative

Vague

Valid

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

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Responding to Criticism

Fogging

Use for manipulative criticism

Presents a non-defensive, indifferent

response to criticism

Seeks to acknowledge the criticism

Does not agree or disagree

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

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Responding to Criticism

Negative Assertion

Strongly agrees with valid criticism

Admits mistakes

Announces that the critic is right

Adds what you have learned from the

mistake

Expresses a sad, regretful tone

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

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Responding to Criticism

Negative Inquiry

Clarifies the intent of vague criticism

Shares a puzzled, confused tone

Seeks further information

Uses questions

Cheesebro, OConnor, Rios: Communicating in the Workplace, 1e.

2010 Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458.

All rights reserved