MAGNES + SIMON DO

DEUTSCHLAND
The beginning
Singapore Sling-in’
What you’re seeing here is Mark and I on our way to air-bound
inebriation. But dudes, FREE COCKTAILS! And, can I tell you, they were
delicious.
You may not believe me but…
I nearly had orgasms when we got our plane food. It.
Was. Awesome. And not like “I’m getting it for free”
awesome, I’m talking like HOLY SHIT I WOULD
TATTOO “I LOVE SINGAPORE AIR” ON MY FOREHEAD
FOR THIS VERMICELLI WITH HONEY ROAST PORK
kinda awesome.
Unfortunately I was so busy shovelling forkfuls of it
down my gob that I didn’t get a picture, so you’ll just
have to use your imagination. To help you along here
are pictures of some sort of chicken dish that Mark
partially ate (to the left) and my lamb goulash (to the
right). I licked that white container clean. Oh yes I
did.
Sunset over Australia
Here we are, somewhere above Australia drunk , jolly and thoroughly
enthusiastic about the pink sky. So enthusiastic that we took about ten
pictures of it.
Singapore Airport
This is Mark giddy after sculling his $12 Guyllian extra-thick
chocolate drink. Shortly after he finished , he jumped on the
table, pulled his shirt over his head and did the Macarena. He
was very excited.
Skytrain!
He was nearly as thrilled by the Skytrain…until we worked out that it
actually had nothing to do with the sky. Then he fell into a rage but didn’t
do much with it because he’s too polite.
Frankfurt Flughafen Fernbahnhof
If you look between the tons of luggage, just north of the cheese, ham
and mustard croissant you’ll find me acting really inconspicuous.
Frankfurt Flughafen Fernbahnhof

Moments after this picture was taken our train came and we had to run
with all of our luggage (refer to previous picture) to the correct end of
the station. Not the end pictured here.
On the way to Munich
To distract you from the suitcases that moved in under our eyes, here are a few shots taken from the train. We
took turns passing out and drooling all over the seats so who knows what other treasures we missed.
The master suite
Check out the size of our bedroom. Just in case you can’t tell by the
photo; it’s the size of the Grand Canyon so now we communicate via
smoke signal.
The living room
This is our living room. What you’re seeing on the TV is our attempt at
assimilation. It lasted about ten minutes. The other two pictures were
taken from our balcony. Can you feel the crisp 6 degree air? Breathe it in.
Love it.
Local pastime
One thing we’re learning really rapidly is that Germans love to bike ride.
They also love to abide by laws. This means that Mark, who likes to spend
his time standing in bike lanes, has almost lost his life to ultra-fit cycling
Germans twice.
Some garden in Munich
We’re too embarrassed to use our Munich map in public, so we’re not
sure exactly which garden or park this was taken in. All we know is that
Mark got all “Singing in the Rain” there.
One thing we have to say for Germany
It sure knows how to do autumn. BAM! It is everywhere!
History
When Mark walked past this statue his initial observation was “that guy
has a tiny penis”. And I’m sorry history buffs, but I have to agree.
 Various parts of Munich

We’re getting really good at self photography. See? You can almost see
the buildings behind us. Mostly though these photos just make you want
to shout “have a shower already!”
The Old City
I want you to look straight past the incredible architecture and to that
little red H&M sign. That’s where Mark and I spent a considerable
amount of our time spending money we’re not yet earning.
Neues Rathaus
This is one of the most impressive buildings in Munich. It’s
a 19-20th century Gothic Revival building which caused a
stir among the locals who feared that its 85-metre tower
would cast an unbecoming shadow over the
Frauenkirche… and provides a good backdrop to search for
Mark. Can you see him?
 Sites of Munich
Let’s just all agree that Munich is a gorgeous city…
Our first meal
This is Mark staining to look enthusiastic for the camera, when really he
needed all of his energy to chew through the crumbed animal on his
plate and drink his 500ml coke. I swallowed my Wiener schnitzel whole.
Just can’t have enough
This is us adoring another part of our bedroom
Our first shop
Mark dealt well with the news that there was no Milo
quite well. This is him before he pulled all of his hair
out.
Honig
Another great thing about Munich is the food. HOLY SHITBALLS THE
FOOD! We live above a bakery, so the bread is a given, but the honey.
WOW. It’s so good that I’ve caught Mark making love to it at least three
times. And I couldn’t help but cheer. It is that good.
Breakfast
Germans use steins to drink beer, Mark uses them to showcase
his knack of sculling a litre of milk in under five seconds. I’m not
even kidding. He also likes bread.
Simon!
My best bud Simon has also decided to ditch Australia and hang out in
Munich. This is him looking sprightly after an impossibly long flight. I’m
happy to pass on expressions of amazement and hate mail if you like.
S-bahn
Even though the ticket inspector on the S-bahn looked like he
wanted to skin us and then use us as lampshades, we still
found the city rail system delightful.
Laim
This super artistic tunnel leads to Simon’s temporary accommodation.
Getting there is fine. Getting back is a little more life-threatening and
labyrinth-like.
So European!
These are the boys looking uber European. Moments later they slapped
on their lederhosen and did a jig.
Not so European…
This is me trying to recreate the same look with Mark. Only he’s
channelling Goethe and I’m channelling a bad hair day.
Please note
In this picture:
- Mark looks like he’s posing for GQ Germany
- I look like I’m about to start a cave adventure
- Simon looks like he doesn’t really know us, but he’s not letting that get in his way
…and in this picture:
- Mark looks like he just happened to be floating past the camera
- I still look like I’m going on a cave adventure
- Simon looks like it’s his turn to pose for GQ Germany
Earlier that day
Simon was all “pictures need people in them to be interesting”. So here
are the boys making Munich look interesting. Thanks boys.
German lunch
We decided to push the European envelope a little further by eating
lunch like Germans. Unfortunately instead we went to the most touristy
place we could find and had schnitzels, pork knuckles and beer.
One more for the road
Here’s the Neues Rathaus again because it’s just so damn gorgeous.