The Art of Listening

I tell you everything that is

really nothing, and nothing
of what is everything, do
not be fooled by what I am
saying. Please listen
carefully and try to hear
what I am not saying.

— Charles C.
Finn
The speaker is presenting his talk from
Constructivist perspective and his own
position and values influence his choice
of material and the way he present it. It
is neither possible nor desirable to be
value-free in such an important area of
human endeavor as education.
However, it is up to you, the listener,
to engage with the ideas
presented from
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the
country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be
considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the
trip?"
"It was great, Dad.“ "Did you see how poor people live?" the father
asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?"
asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We
have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a
creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go
beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to
protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we
are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?
 What is Listening?
Definition

• listening (ILA, 1996): the process of receiving,

constructing meaning from, and responding to
spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear
something with thoughtful attention

• Effective communication is 2-way

– depends on speaking and listening
Listening - a neglected art
• We spend between 50 and 80 percent of our
waking life communicating
• On average, half of that communication time
is spent in listening.
• Despite all this, listening is the “poor relation”
in communication training.
• Lets see some facts
 Facts about Listening
• Listening is our primary communication
activity.
• Our listening habits are not the result of
training but rater the result of the lack of it.
• Most individuals are inefficient listeners
• Inefficient and ineffective listening is
extraordinarily costly
• Good listening can be taught
 Facts about Listening
continued
• Listening: Learned first, Used most
(45%), Taught least.
• Speaking: Learned second, Used next
most (30%), Taught next least.
• Reading: Learned third, Used
next least (16%), Taught next most
• Writing: Learned fourth, Used
Least (9%), Taught most.
 As seen in table below, listening is learned
first and used most, but taught least.

Learned Used Taught

Listening 1st Most (45%) Least
Speaking 2nd Next most (35%) Next least
Reading 3rd Next least (16%) Next most

Writing 4th Least (9%) Most

 LISTENING AND MEANING
In a spoken message, 5 5 % of
the meaning is translated
non-verbally, 3 8 % is
indicated by the tone of voice,
while only 7 % is conveyed by
the words used

(Mehrabian, 1981).
Spoken words only account for 3 0
-3 5 % of the meaning. The rest is
transmitted through nonverbal
communication that only can be
detected through visual and
auditory listening

(Birdwhistell, 1970).
LISTENING AND SPEECH RATES
The average persontalks at a rate of
about 1 2 5 – 1 7 5 words per
minute, while we can listen at
a rate of up to 4 5 0 words per
minute
(Carver, Johnson, & Friedman, 1970).
LISTENING AND MEMORY
On average, viewers who
just watched and listened
to theeveningnews could
only recall 1 7 . 2 % of the
content when not cued,
and the cued group never
exceeded 2 5 %
(Stauffer, Frost, & Rybolt,
LISTENING AND LEADERS
Listening is tied to effective
leadership
(Bechler & Johnson, 1995;
Johnson & Bechler, 1998).

Leaders listen with an open

mind by not becoming
emotional or defensive
(Orick, 2002).
LISTENING AND EDUCATION

Students do not have a

clear concept of listening
as an active process that
they can control. Students
find it easier to criticize
the speaker as opposed to
the speaker’s message
LISTENING AND HEALTHCARE
Physicians interrupt 6 9 % of
patient interviews within 1 8
seconds of the patient
beginning to speak. As a
result, in 7 7 % of the
interviews, the patient’s true
reason for visiting was never
elicited (Lee, 2000).
How Important is
listening ?
Listening
is the most powerful form
of acknowledgment

…a way of saying,
“You are important.”
Listening builds stronger
relationships

…creates a desire to cooperate

among people because they feel
accepted and acknowledged.
Listening creates acceptance and
openness

…conveys the message that

“I am not judging you.”
Listening leads to learning

…openness encourages personal

growth and learning
Listening reduces stress and
tension

…minimizes confusion and

misunderstanding, eliminating
related stress and tension
Listening is CRITICAL
in conflict resolution

…much conflict comes from the

need to be heard. Successful
resolution depends on being a
non-anxious presence.
 "When you've learned how to
Listen, well that's when you've
learned everything you need to
know in your life!"

-- Glynn David Harris

Listener of the Year
International Listening Association' s 1999
The most basic of all human needs is
the need to understand and be
understood. The best way to
understand people is to listen to them.

— Ralph Nichols
"Listening looks easy,
but it's not simple.
Every head is a world.“

-- Cuban Proverb
“When you listen to somebody else,
whether you like it or not, what
they say becomes part of you.”

-- David Bohm
If in all our practices of life we could learn
to listen . . . . if we could grasp what the
other persons are saying as they them-
selves understand what they are saying,
the major hostilities of life would
disappear for the simplest reason
that misunderstanding would disappear.

— Harry Overstreet
 Listening means an awareness, an
openness to learning something new
about another person. Interrupting,
even for clarification, can seem to be
rude, but listening with the intent to
learn is an approach to a different type
of conversation. — Elizabeth Debold
Listening promotes being heard

…”Seek first to understand,

then be understood.”
- Stephen Covey
I think I'll learn more from listening. Anything
I would say I already know.

— Anonymous student explaining while

she did not wish to participate in a discussion,
quoted in Christian Science Monitor
Effective listeners remember that "words
have no meaning - people have meaning."
The assignment of meaning to a term is an
internal process; meaning comes from
inside us. And although our experiences,
knowledge and attitudes differ, we often
misinterpret each other’s messages while
under the illusion that a common
understanding has been achieved. — Larry
Barker
What stops us from listening?

Barriers to listening?
Bad/poor listening habits?
What interferes with listening?
 Barriers to Listening
• Equate With Hearing
• Uninteresting Topics
• Speaker’s Delivery
• External Distractions
• Mentally Preparing
Response
• Finishing the speaker’s
sentences.
• letting your ego get in the
way.
• Listening for Facts
• Personal Concerns
• Personal Bias
• Language/Culture
Differences
• Faking Attention
• Getting tuned out
 Bad Listening Habits
• Criticizing the subject or the speaker
• Getting over-stimulated
• Listening only for facts
• Not taking notes OR outlining everything
• Tolerating or creating distraction
• Letting emotional words block message
• Wasting time difference between speed of
speech and speed of thought
Bad Listening Habits
• Pretending to pay attention when you are not
• Trying to do other things while listening
• Deciding the subject is uninteresting
• Getting distracted by the speaker’s way of speech, or other
mannerisms
• Getting over-involved and thus losing the main thread of the
arguments or thoughts
• Letting emotion-filled words arouse personal anger and
antagonism
• Concentrating on any distractions instead of what is being sai
• Avoiding anything that is complex or difficult
So Far:
•We covered the facts of listening
•Importance of listening from different perspective
through quotes of great people and proverbs
•You also know the barriers and bad habits.

•Having known importance, barriers and bad

habits of listening, what are the solutions for all
these issues? Be a good listener? How ?

•By being active listener/developing

effective listening skills
 Active Listening
• Listening is not a passive activity

• It is not the ‘unexciting’ or ‘unflamboyant’

part of the conversation

• Listening well is the vital ingredient in a

successful, productive and interesting
conversation
 RECEIVING SKILLS
Listening is composed of six distinct components

• Hearing: The physiological process of receiving sound and/or other

stimuli.

• Attending: The conscious and unconscious process of focusing

attention on external stimuli.

• Interpreting: The process of decoding the symbols or behavior

attended to.
•
Evaluating: The process of deciding the value of the information to
the receiver.

• Remembering: The process of placing the appropriate information

into to short-term or long-term storage.

• Responding: The process of giving feedback to the source and/or

other receivers.
•
Relational Receiving Skills
Non-Listening: A style that is appropriate when the receiver has no need for the
content and has minimal relationship with the sender.

• Pseudo listening: A way of "faking it" where the receiver feels obligated to
listen even though they are preoccupied unable or unwilling to at that particular time.

• Defensive Listening: A style of listening used in situations where the receiver

feels that he might be taken advantage of if he does not protect himself by
listening for information directly relevant to him.

• Appreciative Listening: A style that is appropriate in a recreational setting

where the listener is participating as a way of passing time or being entertained.

• Listening with Empathy: A style that teaches an individual to enter fully into
the world of the other and truly comprehend their thoughts and feelings.

• Therapeutic Cathartic Listening: A listening style used by psychological

counselors to help people who are having problems dealing with life situations.

• Therapeutic Diagnostic Listening: A listening style that is used to assess the

needs of the sender.
 Content Receiving Skills
• Insensitive Listening or Offensive listening: A style where the listeners
main intent is to select information that can later he used against the speaker.

• Insulated Listening: A style where the listener avoids responsibility by failing

to acknowledge that they have heard the information presented by the speaker.

• Selective Listening: A style where the listener only responds to the parts of the
message that directly interests him.

• Bottom Line Listening: A style of listening where the receiver is only

concerned about the facts. "Just the facts man."

• Court Reporter Syndrome: A style of taking in a speakers message and

recording it verbatim.

• Informational Listening: A style that is used when the listener is seeking out
specific information.

• Evaluative Listening: A style used to listen to information upon which a

decision has to be made.

• Critical Incidence Listening: A style used when the consequence of not

listening may have dramatic effects.

• Intimate Listening: The style that is appropriate when the

speaker is communicating significant relational information
being completely and wholly honest.
 Ten keys to effective listening
• Find areas of interest.
The Poor Listener: Tunes out dry topics.
The Good Listener: Seizes opportunities:
"What's in it for me?"
• Judge content, not delivery.
The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor.
The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over delivery errors.
• Hold your fire.
The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument.
The Good Listener: Doesn't judge until comprehension is
complete.
• Listen for ideas.
The Poor Listener: Listens for facts.
The Good Listener: Listens for central theme.
• Be a flexible note taker.
The Poor Listener: Is busy with form, misses content.
The Good Listener: Adjusts to topic and organizational pattern.
 Ten keys to effective listening
continued
• Work at listening.
The Poor Listener: Shows no energy output, fakes attention
The Good Listener: Works hard; exhibits alertness.

• Resist distractions.
The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily.
The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions; tolerates bad habits in
others; knows how to concentrate.

• Exercise your mind.

The Poor Listener: Resists difficult material; seeks light, recreational material.
The Good Listener: Uses heavier material as exercise for the mind.

• Keep your mind open.

The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words.
The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words; does not get hung up on
them.

• Thought is faster than speech; use it.

The Poor Listener: Tends to daydream with slow speakers.
The Good Listener: Challenges, anticipates, mentally summarizes, weights
the evidence, listens between the lines to tone and voice.
 The best, easiest and most effective way of
showing interest is:

• To listen to what they are saying

• Really listen,
• Focusing on what they are
saying,
• As opposed to planning our own
reposts and anecdotes
We are blessed with two ears
and one mouth - a constant
reminder that we should
listen at least twice as much
as we talk.
Unknown Author
Why Be A Good Listener?
• To be recognized and remembered
• To feel valued
• To feel appreciated
• To feel respected
• To feel understood
• To feel comfortable about a
want or need
LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND

Before I can walk in

another person’s shoes,
I must remove my own.

Unknown
 Shiva Kumar H.M
hmshiv1@gmail.com